#the planet of the bass sex playlist one

[rotisseries]

you guys know that one tumblr AITA post about "these two people are always cheating on each other and with the same people but they refuse to try polyamory I think they just get off on this and I'm trying to date them both"? yeah. stoncy au

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes

I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.

Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.

A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.

C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.

Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.

My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.

While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.

To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?

What are these acronyms?

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Another aspect of hip-hop music that is often unfairly maligned is the instrumentals. The common complaint that hip-hop instrumentals are just boring rudimentary drum loops is simply untrue. Provided in the following playlist is a series of beats that show off the creative range in hip-hop. There's funk grooves, some scratching, psychedelic influence, and incredible sampling across the board. Some of these beats are legendary, some are really different and interesting, and others are ones I just think yall might really enjoy.

What Is A Booty Passin' Me By Who Am I (What's My Name)? The first three tracks here are examples of funk influenced beats. What Is a Booty? and Who Am I (What's My Name)? pay direct homage to George Clinton of P-Funk fame, while Passin' Me By has a solid jazz backbone. all three have catchy basslines.

Diamonds From Sierra Leone I'm not here to talk about who he is nowadays. Kanye West used to be one of the best beatmakers ever. The Diamonds Are Forever sample is incredibly integrated and the simple synth line that counterpoints it is pure sex. Diamonds Of Sierra Leone has one of my favorite beats period.

Dance in the Water Danny Brown has some really wild beat and this one is so rowdy. the bass is barely holding the shouting and drumming in line. It barely sounds like hip-hop and is clearly a bit punk influenced.

SICKO MODE This song was memetic when it dropped so you might be aware of it. SICKO MODE switches it's beat up throughout giving an unstable effect. Fitting for music that is supposed to have the vibes of being on lean and xanax. The whole of ASTROWORLD has psychedelic influence and it really brought an interesting sound to the then stagnating trap scene.

Go Go Pop Afrikaa Bambataa was influenced by German electronic group Kraftwerk when he made the album Planet Rock. The result is a hip-hop album that doesn't sound like anything before or after. Go Go Pop in particular is the track that feels the least dated. it still sounds pretty corny mind, but I like corny.

Workinonit J Dilla was the best beatmaker ever. Dilla didn't just flip a sample he would mutilate it. Workinonit also shows that hip-hop isn't just rap, there are instrumental hip-hop songs out there. If you find yourself enjoying the beats, but are still having trouble with the rapping then J Dilla's iconic album Donuts might be for you.

Eric B. Is On The Cut I couldn't talk beats without getting some turntablism in there. Eric B. shows of his scratch skills on this instrumental piece that is meant just to show off his technique.

Prophets Of Rage The last track is a bit more turntablism. Public Enemy's production team The Bomb Squad pretty much defined the sound of late 80's-early 90's hip-hop. And The interplay between the beats and Terminator X's turntables could have made everything else about the track an afterthought if Chuck D wasn't also at his absolute peak here.

To Be Continued ===> Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[telltalebatman]

absolutely no one tagged me, but: shuffle your repeat playlist on spotify and post the first ten tracks

blue jeans and bloody tears (sweaty machines and izhar cohen)

rock me amadeus (the baseballs)

angus, the prize winning hog (the toxhards)

hip to be square (huey lewis & the news) (yes, american psycho is one of my favorite movies, how did you know)

i ghosted kevin jonas (danny gonzales)

threshold (sex bob-omb from scott pilgrim: the movie)

we no speak americano (yolanda be cool)

love me dead (ludo)

coincidance (handsome dancer)

planet of the bass (you all fucking know who recorded this)

[voodoochili]

My Favorite Albums of 2022

The story of the 2020s–the years keep getting harder, the music keeps getting better. There's nothing I get more pleasure from these days than exploring the vast universe of new music that we are so lucky to be able to access with just a few keystrokes. Keeping up with everything can be overwhelming, but it's so so rewarding.

Here are my favorite albums from a very deep year–there's probably a smaller gap between my #1 and my #25 than ever before. But unranked lists are for cowards!

Check the bottom for the full list and a Spotify playlist with selections from every album.

Onward we go!

10. Fievel Is Glauque - Flaming Swords: Perhaps no album released in 2022 was as jam-packed with seemingly contradictory musical ideas as Flaming Swords. Fievel Is Glauque songwriter/bandleader Zach Phillips aims for sensory overload, cramming complex chords, modal key changes, free jazz freakouts, and hyperactive drum beats into his miniature prog-pop masterpieces. Nearly each one of these 18 songs has a moment of unexpected virtuosity, whether in the composition or the performance. The song that best represents the album’s messy ideal is “Save The Premonition,” a one-minute forty-six second sprint through moments of harmonic inspiration, never settling down for more than a measure at a time.

From my description, it might seem like Flaming Swords is a difficult listen, but though it takes some time to get used to the hyperactivity, these songs are targeted missiles aimed directly towards the pleasure centers of the brain, with sonorous saxophones and liquid keyboards augmenting the dulcet Francophone tones of lead singer Ma Clément. This is pop music filtered through a prism, separating the traditional elements of sound into their essences and reconstituting it into something entirely new.

9. Caracara - New Preoccupations: Philadelphia emo band Caracara isn’t afraid to mine the “embarrassing” sounds of the past in its search for catharsis. If you told the 2005 version of me that one of my favorite albums of 2022 would crib from bands like Snow Patrol or Relient K, I would’ve told you to buzz off before cranking up the volume on “Stay Fly” by Three 6 Mafia. But New Preoccupations won me over with its aching sincerity, its full-throated realization of the melancholy behind mundane moments (“I was listening to the Dirty Projectors in a Volvo by the freeway funeral pyre,” singer Sean Gill exhorts in highlight track “Colorglut”), and some powerhouse performances by the band. Producer (and Memory Music label head) Will Yip keeps things interesting, finding a guitar sound that would’ve fit nicely into WPLJ’s Hot Adult Contemporary lineup in the mid-90s and adding contemporary touches like programmed drums and rolling pianos. My favorite moments on New Preoccupations happen when the band grows tired of midtempo rockers and goes balls to the wall. They bust the door down early on the dissociative anthem “Hyacinth,” and put a bow on the proceedings with the achingly raw “Monoculture”: “I’M FINALLY FREE TO LET GO.”

8. Cash Cobain & Chow Lee - 2 SLIZZY 2 SEXY (Deluxe): 2 Live Crew changed the game in the late 80s by combining the compulsively danceable Miami bass sound with some of the raunchiest songs known to man. Luther Campbell and crew were so gleefully horned-up that they changed America’s copyright laws forever. Nearly 40 years later, NYC duo Cash Cobain and Chow Lee are bravely following in 2 Live Crew’s footsteps, providing a fresh spin on the dominant dance music of their region (in this case, Jersey/Philly club) to further their noble mission to make the horniest music of all time. So yes, Cash and Chow are sex-crazed to the point of obsession, but they’re making some genuinely game-changing shit. Cash is one of the best producers on the planet, a master of flipping a familiar sample into something fresh and unrecognizable. He saves his best beats for himself, from the ethereal and speaker-slamming J. Holiday flip on, um, “JHOLIDAY,” to the audacious Stevie Wonder sample on “SLIZZY LIKE,” to the absolutely beautiful “FREAK OF DI WEEK.” Cash and Chow combine their otherworldly instrumentals with an energy that mirrors teenagers at their first sleepovers after learning all the curse words, bouncing off each other in a competition over who can be the most out-of-pocket (Chow usually wins that competition). Don’t sleep on the deluxe edition, which brings even more brilliant beats and shamelessly lowers the bar X-rated bars even further, inviting some of the best rappers in the Tri-State area to meet them on their libidinous level.

7. Cloakroom - Dissolution Wave: Cloakroom exists on the bleeding edge between shoegaze and stoner metal, overwhelming with punishing soundscapes and entrancing with spectral melodies. Their 2022 album Dissolution Wave is lean and mean, clocking in at 39 minutes (Cloakroom hadn’t previously made an album shorter than 60 minutes), delivering a confident complement of space-age rockers. No album this year was better synthesizing such an intense beauty, its crushing walls of sound enhancing the heartfelt songwriting. On a few songs, including the midtempo “A Force At Play” (featuring keys from Matt Talbott from Cloakroom’s stylistic influence Hum) and the devastating countrified ballad “Doubts,” the band proves that they don’t need fuzz to make a major emotional impact. My favorite headphones album of the year.

6. billy woods - Aethiopes: billy woods is an astonishing wordsmith, crafting bars that can collapse hundreds of years of traumatic history into a single couplet. He’s at his best when he’s shining a light on the grimiest aspects of our society, and our society is grimy enough for multiple albums per year, all of them good, usually created in tandem with a producer. Aethiopes, produced in full by underground hero Preservation, is woods’ grimiest and greatest yet, packed with an array of industrial instrumentals that grind like the gears of a lurching, lumbering, ill-intentioned contraption.

The beat for “Wharves” clinks and clacks like a skeleton playing its own ribcage like a xylophone, a fitting backdrop for woods' story that touches on cannibalistic tribes and the Atlantic slave trade. “Heavy Water” invites Breeze Brewin and El-P to tag team an unbearably tense slice of boom-bap, as woods calls himself “the multiverse Benzino.” “No Hard Feelings” swirls with detuned woodwinds and ethereal synths, sounding like the warmup anthem for a closer on Hell's favorite baseball team, providing a bed for woods to show out in his trademark style–he rhymes with escalating intensity, his booming voice rising along with the music. The tension built in the first three quarters of the album dissipates with the final run of soul-samplers, but those outwardly gorgeous songs contain some of woods’s ugliest bars. From “Remorseless”: “Three rooms filled with Incan treasure/Still strangled the king cause it's now or never/It's a freedom in admitting it's not gonna get better.”

5. Naima Bock - Giant Palm: Naima Bock’s Giant Palm gleams like a greenhouse during golden hour, organic and synthetic elements operating in harmony to create an album unlike any I’ve heard before. The album is a spiritual successor to Mort Garson’s horticultural synth music and Vashti Bunyan’s insular, pastoral ballads, with strains of folk from Brazil and England mixed in for good measure. Created in collaboration with co-producer/arranger Joel Burton, the former Goat Girl bassist’s solo debut is structured like the tree of its title, a variety of frilled fronds emanating from a knotty heart–in this case, everything stems from Bock’s endless wonder at the marvels of our natural world, which she expresses through plaintive, immersive, and unpredictable ballads. Some of my favorite moments: the psychedelically eerie call-and-response that begins “Every Morning”; the whimsically bluesy piano in “Instrumental”; the dissonant waltz that undergirds the haunting “Campervan”; and the beautiful harmonies that adorn the Portuguese-language bossa nova ballad “O Morro,” which ends the album on a nostalgic note.

4. Big Thief - Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You: Big Thief is in a special kind of creative groove right now. Frontwoman Adrienne Lenker has a seemingly bottomless arsenal of amazing songs, and her band has the adventurous mindset, telepathic chemistry, and ace musicianship to execute any of her ideas. The natural next step for a band on this kind of run: dropping a double album to show off the breadth of what they can do. The unwieldily-titled Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You fits that bill, packing in some of their best songs while pushing their sound forward. You want classic Big Thief ballads? They’ve got them, including the immaculate “Change” and plaintive “No Reason.” Prefer the hard-rocking side of the band that they perfected on 2019’s Two Hands? Take “Little Things” or the cathartic “Love Love Love.” They even unveil some new tricks, like the trip-hoppy “Blurred View” and the minimal Magnetic Fields-meets-Springsteen experiment “Wake Me Up To Drive.” My favorites on here, though, channel what the music critic Greil Marcus called “The Old Weird America,” an energy that powers the cosmic hoedown “Spud Infinity,” the slinky and percussive “Time Escaping,” and the joyous, countrified “Red Moon.”

3. Earl Sweatshirt - SICK!: Earl Sweatshirt has been famous since he was sixteen years old, something that must feel particularly strange to the self-professed introvert. On his latest album SICK!, the now-28-year-old rapper seems to open up, inspired by his newfound fatherhood and embracing his role as the leader of a rising wave of left-of-center lyricists. The song sketches that populated 2018’s Some Rap Songs have (mostly) been replaced by fuller statements, its grainy, drumless loops giving way to slicker sounds.

The beats on SICK! are spectacular, from Theravada’s sorrowful and operatic “Tabula Rasa,” to The Alchemist’s menacing and cinematic “Old Friend,” to the multiple soundscapes crafted by Black Noi$e (especially the jazzy closer “Fire In The Hole”). Earl doesn’t rhyme over the instrumentals as much as he inhabits them, his resigned sigh painting contours and filling negative space, and effortlessly unfurling assonant and tangled bars like (from “Tabula Rasa”): “The calcium on my teeth fade/Streets are blazed with the anger complacency and deceit create/Ice sheet break, I couldn't weave weight/All I could say to the times that I couldn't freeze-frame, bleak fate.”

2. Makaya McCraven - In These Times: Producer, drummer, composer, and bandleader Makaya McCraven creates his albums like a mad scientist, laying down hundreds of hours of improvised live sessions and piecing them together to create wholly unique compositions. His music thrives on the moments of brief inspiration that come from a group of brilliant musicians playing together, creating an indelible atmosphere by stretching out and looping sections to form a new groove. Inspired by the legendary output CTI Records in the early ‘70s (home to George Benson, Hubert Laws, Bob James, and many others), McCraven curates a sound that combines the smoother side of fusion with complex, odd-meter rhythms. His percussion work is usually unflashy*, providing a bedrock for his collaborators to express themselves to the fullest. “So Ubuji” finds McCraven laying down a boom-bap style drum pattern as vibraphonist Joel Ross and harpist Brandee Younger elevate the song to the stratosphere, while the tangled polyrhythms of “High Fives” benefits from the virtuosic guitar playing of Jeff Parker. The album climaxes with penultimate track “The Knew Untitled,” a devastating composition that begins with swirling piano-led chaos before guitarist Matt Gold lays down one of the best guitar solos of this young decade. The most transportive and mesmerizing album released in 2022.

*with a notable exception coming on the thrilling “This Place That Place"

1. They Hate Change - Finally, New: They Hate Change (Vonne and Dre, both of whom rap and produce) operate with supreme confidence, creating a singular sonic blend informed, but not defined, by their omnivorous musical influences. Vonne and Dre are both great emcees–Vonne has a style that occupies the unlikely convergence between Big Boi, Ish Butler of Digable Planets/Shabazz Palaces, and Sonny Cheeba of Camp Lo, while Dre's drawling rhymes evoke both E-40 and Pimp C. Though they're clearly in love with hip-hop, the two Tampa natives are equally obsessed with dance music of all stripes, and Finally, New explores the unexpected connections between UK breakbeats and Florida’s club tradition, incorporating notes of Miami bass and Tampa jook alongside UK garage and DnB. The result is an album built for both head-nodding and ass-shaking. It's in constant motion even when it slows down, the two rappers brashly projecting an attitude that makes their flexing hit as hard as their evisceration of societal norms. A key track is “Some Days I Hate My Voice,” a defiant missive from Vonne that explores the nonbinary emcee’s inherent contradictions: “Some days I hate my voice, some days I feel like I'm the Metratron/Some days I'm basic, some days I'm dolled up like pageant debutantе.” I waffled for a long time about what to put at number one. I listened to hundreds of albums this year, and adored many of them, but for the top spot on this year’s list, I decided to just go with the album that sounded the freshest. Bursting with invention and bracing in its fearless experimentation, Finally, New is like nothing I’ve ever heard.

The rest of the list (playlist HERE): 11. 454 - Fast Trax 3 12. Bad Bunny - Un Verano Sin Ti 13. Asake - Mr. Money With The Vibe 14. Duval Timothy - Meeting With A Judas Tree 15. Animal Collective - Time Skiffs 16. DaBoii - Can’t Tame Us 17. The Soft Pink Truth - Is It Going To Get Any Deeper Than This? 18. Obongjayar - Some Nights I Dream Of Doors 19. Sessa - Estrela Acesa 20. Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers 21. Babyface Ray - FACE/MOB 22. Ron Trent - What Do The Stars Say To You 23. Hagan - Textures 24. WizKid - More Love, Less Ego 25. Smino - Luv 4 Rent 26. SZA - SOS 27. Duke Deuce - CRUNKSTAR 28. Alex G - God Save The Animals 29. Cate Le Bon - Pompeii 30. Panda Bear & Sonic Boom - Reset 31. Arctic Monkeys - The Car 32. PLOSIVS - PLOSIVS 33. Real Lies - Lad Ash 34. Rema - Rave & Roses 35. Drakeo The Ruler - Keep The Truth Alive 36. Beth Orton - Weather Alive 37. Tony Shhnow - Reflexions/Plug Motivation 38. Rosalía - MOTOMAMI 39. Beyonce - RENAISSANCE 40. Shabason & Krgovich - At Scaramouche 41. $ilkMoney - I Don’t Give a F*ck About This Rap Sh*t… 42. Quelle Chris - DEATHFAME 43. Dazegxd - vKISS 44. Phelimuncasi - Ama Gogela 45. Dawn Richard & Spencer Zahn - Pigments 46. Björk - Fossora 47. Roedelius & Tim Story - 4 Hands 48. Valee - VACABULAREE 49. NBA YoungBoy - 3800 Degrees 50. Toro Y Moi - MAHAL 51. Ethel Cain - Preacher’s Daughter 52. Brent Faiyaz - WASTELAND 53. Boldy James - Fair Exchange No Robbery (w/ Nicholas Craven)/ Mr. Ten08 (w/ Futurewave) 54. quinn - quinn  55. Rachika Nayar - Heaven Come Crashing 56. Junior Boys - Waiting Game 57. Friendship - Love The Stranger 58. Saba - Few Good Things 59. Silvana Estrada - Marchita 60. Rauw Alejandro - SATURNO 61. Ralfy The Plug - Skateboard P (Deluxe)/Pastor Ralfy 2 (Deluxe) 62. Sudan Archives - Natural Black Prom Queen 63. Kikagaku Moyo - Kumoyo Island 64. Young Slo-Be - Southeast 65. Death’s Dynamic Shroud - Darklife 66. Mr. Fingers - Around The Sun Pt. 1 67. RealYungPhil - Dr. Philvinci 68. CEO Trayle - HH5 69. Lil Poppa - HEAVY IS THE HEAD 70. Los - Kareem From New Orleans, Vol. 2 71. Fred Again - Actual Life 3 72. Gunna - DS4EVER 73. The Comet Is Coming - Hyper-Dimensional Expansion Beam 74. Ka - Language Arts/Woeful Studies 75. The Beths - Experts In A Dying Field

NOTE: This albums list could’ve gone on for at least another 75, and rest assured it would’ve included your favorite album from 2022! But I’ll make a special shout out to albums that just missed the cut: Luna Li, Nu Genea, Tears For Fears, Bartees Strange, Shawny Binladen, Little Simz, Oso Oso, Hikaru Utada, MAVI, BONES, Central Cee, BlueBucksClan, and Jay Worthy, Larry June & LNDN Drugs. Songs from those albums are included in my Spotify playlist.

[majorluz]

ok so as it turns out the planet of the bass guy is a huge asshole so im here to recommend some actual eurodance made by not assholes

Captain Jack - actually the inspiration for the format of my name! i love him a lot but a lot of his songs are very much 'let's dance let's party' sort of songs.

E-Rotic - very good instrumentals! however almost every one of their songs is about sex and the main lady moans at random points in the songs. the music videos are animated but also explicit and surreal so if thats not your thing pls avoid!

Tokyo Ghetto Pussy - ok this one is cheating a lil bc technically its eurodance but its also very happy hardcore. they realized that other countries make music too woag!! this is another one w great instrumentals but in some songs the lady that usually sings is offkey in a v specific way that makes my blood boil other than that v good

Real McCoy - i love patricia petersen i love her so much she has such a pretty voice. they only had like two chart breaking hits but i dont care you WILL listen to 'another night' and 'run away' and you WILL add them to your spotify playlist

[the-ipre]

what's the defiance if you dont mind me asking?

hello! welcome to the infodump :3 

short answer: the crew of star wars ocs made by me, @leenik-matagot, @not-from-the-absence-of-violence, and @drowninginstarlights. they’re a rebellion punk rock band and a found family, and star wars now belongs to us basically /lh. here’s an art dump!

longer answer:

the crew!

Cres J’ones, later Cres Defiance (she/they), is my oc. Cres is the drummer, the medic, the slicer, the general jack of all trades and master of none. She’s the heart of the crew, the weed friend, one of many who is allergic to vulnerability and bonds with people through physical contact and Not Talking About It.

Marlo Shenn (he/him) is Liam’s oc. Ex empire kid, he’s a bassist and pilot and self sacrificing protector. All of his hair (including chest and beard) has been dyed blue, because him and Cres make excellent decisions, and he needs to know who he is when he looks in the mirror. 

Nova Dillman (he/she/they) is Nico’s oc. Born and raised rebel, she’s the lead singer and guitarist and captain of the ship. Life is a performance and he knows that well, but along the way she makes genuine emotional connections even so. They definitely need therapy, but he keeps killing or seducing or cucking his therapists, so.

Dash Halcard (he/him) is Jack’s oc! Yet another ex empire kid, he’s the newest addition to the crew and plays tambourine and sings harmony, and later takes over bass from Marlo for a bit. He’s been running for so long and he finally gets to stay, the missing piece that they never knew they needed. Has a gay sex tattoo (a wampa and a rancor in a heart). They’re t4t.

Longest answer! under the cut because many thoughts head full <3

Relationships:

Marlo and Cres are Best Friends™, love each other to the point of self sacrifice, will never lose each other. They’ve made a promise that they’re the only ones allowed to kill each other, and surely that won’t come back for any dramatic irony :). Genuinely though, for people who have known so little love in their pasts, choosing each other time and time again, holding on and building their friendship from the ground up and one day realizing that they don’t ever want to let go. They watch shitty holos together! They paint each others nails! They’re best friends!

Marlo and Blue (yes from Campaign Star Wars, he’s ours now) are husbands! Good for them <3. They were childhood friends, then fuckbuddies, and then they caught feelings! Uh oh!

Nova and Blue are in a QPR that started off as just fuckbuddies (because this entire universe was made because Nico and Will wanted to kiss Blue <3 gay wrongs). Blue caught feelings (uh oh!) but Nova is aro and also terrified of commitment so ! times were tough for a while! But they worked things out and it’s excellent. Nova will not give anyone a straight answer on their relationship but he made out with Blue at his and Marlo’s wedding and also Blue has ‘boytoy’ embroidered on his capelet, so.

Even outside of all that the crew of the Defiance are friends, they’re family, Dash is Marlo’s hands when his are broken and Nova and Cres are gamers and together they’re all a family, on purpose, time and time again. Life commitment! Even after the war, they stick together, they tour the galaxy, they go back to their home planets, but they always come back to one another because they’re here, alive, defiant.

Backstories:

Cres grew up as the youngest of a bunch of siblings, never the best at anything and never all that important in the grand scheme of things. When she was eighteen she left home and her planet, went to go follow rock bands around the galaxy. They met a rebel named X who seemed larger than life, finally something so real that Cres could imagine she was real right back. They started being a part of the rebellion and it was fun, it was something, they were finally a part of something, and then in a single empire attack they lost X and their leg. After that, they travelled around the rock music circuit for a couple more years, ignoring the rebellion until they broke into the same ship as two other fools.

Marlo was an empire kid, second son who took all of the hits and punishments for his older brother. He was not allowed to exist for himself, and when he tried to, falling in love and getting engaged and able to finally imagine making a life, his family killed his fiance. Marlo finally left, a ring tucked away as the only remnant of his love. His brother tried to stop him, leaving a scar over his eye, and Marlo took the lightsaber he used and made it his, finally running. [Note from Will: ‘Marlo ‘idk what platonic love is until i’m at least 19′ Shenn’]

Nova’s parents were rebels from before he was born, struggles on their home planet giving way to the galaxy wide war. She never got to be a child, always aware of the rebellion as their parents were commanders. He and his friend K’ris share a kiss before a battle that feels like a broken promise when K’ris is killed and Nova loses a part of themself to the fight, bringing destruction down against their enemy. She stays with the rebellion and her family for a few more years before leaving and becoming an independent agent, still acting as a rebel but learning how to do so outside of his parent’s immediate gaze. 

Dash grew up as an ever observed empire child, never as good at playing the role as his twin sister, Nicali. His childhood friend, Rilis, ended up leaving him behind with no warning, and he had to face the fact that they had made the choice to go without him. He acted out to the point of getting naked at an Empire gala (good for him), which was the last straw before he left. He reinvented himself as a smuggler, jumping between crews for whatever jobs there were to be had, and found himself following the music scenes more and more, looking for Rilis all the while. He found himself drawn to the Defiance, breaking onto their ship and stowing away. Good for him!

AUs:

Evil AU:

Marlo and Dash never left the empire, Marlo (Valkai in this, never having become Marlo in the first place) becoming an Inquisitor and Dash his personal fighter (and boytoy). Nova’s destruction went a bit too far at K’ris’s death in this and she left home to be a bounty hunter, working more and more for the empire. Tragedy from the inside, comedy from the outside, absolute buckets of homoeroticism, blood, and toxic polycule. Good for them!

(Cres never left home, never became anything, stayed numb and surviving and dull. A quiet desperate tragedy that she would not do anything to change. Why try to run when at the end of the day, you’re still you?)

Bad End AU:

Original Flavor- After Marlo gets kidnapped, he goes sith, loses himself to the death and bloodshed and cuts himself off from his family. When the others find him again, Cres reaches out, still sure that he’s him in there, and Valkai drives his lightsaber through their gut. She dies in his arms and he begs Nova to kill him, and they do. Dash runs, and never stops running, and Nova goes home, tells the rebellion that her friends died well. He burns the Defiance and dies on the battlefield.

Cool Ranch- Marlo stabs Cres, Nova kills Marlo, but they’re able to save Cres before she dies. Cres has to live without their best friend, knows that the friend still left is the one who killed him. Dash ran, and keeps running, and never comes back.

We also have a vampire au, knight au, pacific rim au, skyjacks au...there’s a lot <3

other fun facts!

- all of the members have the word Defy tattooed on themself somewhere (knuckles for Cres, collarbone and then hip for Marlo, wrist for Nova, heart for Dash). Fans will write Defy on themselves in sharpie before concerts

- all of the members have been kidnapped at one point or another. whoops!

- we have collectively written over 130k words in less than two months. we can not be stopped

- there are playlists for all the characters if you would like. cres’s comes with a 1.4k annotation <3

[thelittlestshinigami]

I was tagged by @thunderbot ! Thenk

Rules: We’re snooping on your playlist. Set your entire music library on shuffle and report the first 10 songs that pop up, adding your favorite lyrics if you like. Then choose 10 victims. (I’m Spotified as well. Pretty much the only music I own anymore are old soundtracks and anime music.)

1.Shaking Like an Animal, Crash Kings - “Soon, my friend, I’ll be staring at the moon my friend. But suddenly I’m blind! And laughing like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll be laughing like there’s no tomorrow.”

2. In Fact (Demo Version), Gregory and the Hawk - “Oh that’s right, I did nothing. And you were the mean one. In fact, you even broke my good tape deck.”

3. Ain’t No Devil, Andrea Wasse - “No there ain’t no devil gon’ be where we go. Gon’ wash in the water and save all our souls. Take all the children where flood waters roll. Ain’t no devil gon’ be where we go.”

4. Riptide, Vance Joy - “I was scared of dentists and the dark. I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations.”

5. Hands, Emily Jane White - “And in your face, tightened lace. And below, vertigo.”

6. All About That Bass, Meghan Trainor - “Because you know I’m all about that bass, ‘bout that bass, no treble.” 

7. Get With You-2016 Remastered, The Damn Truth - “I’ve been contemplating left and right, telling lies and picking fights.”

8. East of Eden, Zella Day - “Keep me from the cages under their control, running in the dark to find east of Eden.”

9. When the Truth Hunts You Down, Sam Tinnesz - (the ooh ooh ooh part at the beginning) and “You can’t hide from who you are. The light peels back the dark. You can run, but you won’t make it far. You can’t hide from who you are.”

10. 6969, Ninja Sex Party - (wait, officer, I can explain *sweats*) “The planet Earth sucks balls, now that no one’s allowed to bone. We’ve come from the past to introduce you to ass.” “With your ninja sex party, you will ruin our plans. Guards? Sound the alarms! ...Shoot the fucking lasers, way more fucking lasers at them!”

BONUS 11th: Glory Amen, Those Poor Bastards - “Hallelujah (hallelujah!), hallelujah (hallelujah!), hallelujah, worthless fuckers, hallelujah.”

Tagging @shorthistorian, @buuuckyyy , @heartoftungsten. sHOW mE wHAT yOU gOT.

[angelsd0ntkill]

Screw it, I’m gonna answer ALL THE QUESTIONS from the music ask meme.

1. A song you’re ashamed of liking: I don’t have one?? I don’t think??

2. Favourite lyrics: Kun multaan vanhan erämaan / Ajattoman, lohduttavan / Palaan kerran uudestaan / Älä jää mua suremaan (From “Lohtu”, composed by Tuomas Holopainen of Nightwish and performed by various Finnish artists.)

Rough translation: When I return once again to the timeless, comforting earth of the ancient wilderness, do not mourn me.

3. Favourite band/artist: If I have to pick one, I’ll always say My Chemical Romance, because they’re so important to me and I’ve never loved a band like I love them. Other faves include Children of Bodom, Warmen, Billy Talent, Korpiklaani, Ensiferum, Norther, Nightwish, Lady Gaga, Marina and the Diamonds, Blackpink, 2NE1, Dalriada, Iron Maiden, and AC/DC.

4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment:

Spark by Warmen

Luontoni by Korpiklaani

As If It’s Your Last by Blackpink

Roppongi Rumble by Warmen

Somebody’s Watching Me by Warmen

Can you tell I fucking love Warmen...?

5. Latest song that made you smile: Not only did Alestorm’s “Fucked With An Anchor” make me smile, it made me laugh my ass off the first time I heard it. I know, I’m easily amused.

6. An overrated band: No offense but... the first thing that comes to mind is Turisas... Or, well, I don’t like using the word “overrated” -- it’s been used to drag my music taste too often, go figure -- and it’s more like I don’t listen to them much myself but I see (or used to see) so much hype for them and I'm kinda like “what”. 

7. An overrated song: ????????????

8. Latest song that made you cry: Oh, gods, it’s been so long. Several years, probably. Uhh ... “Make It Stop (September’s Children)” by Rise Against?

9. Artist/band that saved your life: My Chemical Romance. Yep, I’m one of those. ;) Later on, Michael Jackson did the same.

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be: Oh, jeez, that’s a loaded question. My first instinct is to see MCR one more time (preferably with them playing all my favourites from all their albums); second I thought of artists who are retired or dead (Michael Jackson, for example); third I thought of all my faves who I haven’t seen yet; and finally I thought of how thirsty I am to see Bodom again. I don’t know what I’d pick aaaaaaa

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you: “Who Made Who” by AC/DC brings back childhood memories because my Dad’s a huge AC/DC fan and that was the song my siblings and I liked best. Evanescence’s album The Open Door and MCR’s The Black Parade bring back memories of winter break in 8th grade when my sister and I hung out in my room drawing “manga” and listening to them on repeat. We grew apart fast after that, and it took years to reconnect properly, so it’s bittersweet. “Nemo” by Nightwish reminds me of road trips with the family, and a specific place we’d stop on our way to Lake Huron....

12. Saddest song you know: “Nothing to Lose” or “Saint Veronika” by Billy Talent, probably.

13. Favourite song to sing in the shower: Whatever’s stuck in my head at the given time.

14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it: I played the flute and the fact that there have been so many popular text posts about how flutists are assholes makes me sad.

15. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding: Not to, like, totally copy my old coworker or anything, but... “The Only Exception” by Paramore. Which would be bad because I’d be a crying mess. :^D

16. 5 Songs to have sex to: I’m a sex-repulsed asexual, my dudes.

17. One band you’d have get back together/bring back from the dead: *chants* M-C-R! M-C-R! M-C-R!

18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it: Billy Talent’s Dead Silence.

19. A song that gets you through shit: The previously mentioned “Make It Stop (September’s Children)” is pretty good for that. So is “One Step At A Time” by Four Year Strong. I also listen to “Deep Inside” by Norther and “Roundtrip to Hell and Back” and “Towards Dead End” by Children of Bodom a lot when I’m having a shitty time, though I wouldn’t say they help me through anything. It’s more like they help vent the shitty feelings.

20. A song to shut everything out: “Hate Crew Deathroll” by Children of Bodom or “The Invaluable Darkness” by Dimmu Borgir.

21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends: We’ve all been memelords since time immemorial, so any songs that are jokes between us are also jokes on the internet. The good ol’ Trololol Song and the Lonely Island’s “I Just Had Sex” come to mind. :P OH! “I Don’t Love You” by MCR is a joke between me and my sister. I don’t know how it happened, but we were like “I don’t love you, like I loved, that cake~” We, along with a mutual friend, also have an inside joke concerning “U Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer and Slade Minions from the Teen Titans video game, but that’s a bit too involved to get into, haha.

22. A song to jam out to at 4am: “Drink” by Alestorm -- WE ARE HERE TO DRINK YOUR BEER AND STEAL YOUR RUM AT THE POINT OF A GUN!!

23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time: “Roundtrip to Hell and Back” by Children of Bodom and “Deep Inside” by Norther

24. A song that calms you down: Maybe “Fear and Loathing” and “Happy” by Marina and the Diamonds.

25. A song that makes you feel alive: “Runaway” by Avril Lavigne, “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga, “This Is Home” by blink-182

26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose: Voitonlaulut soi ainiaan! (from “Victory Song” by Ensiferum) and I am not afraid to keep on living (from “Famous Last Words” by MCR).

27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age: AC/DC (the legacy must continue), metal in general, Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga...

28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which: Flute, as mentioned above. Tried to learn guitar and bass at different times, but nothing came of it. O:^)

29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be: Probably Korpiklaani, they always seem like they’re having a blast.

30. CDs or Vinyls: CDs, but vinyls are cool, too.

31. 25 15 songs to play at your funeral: Gods, I’m gonna go full Edgelord with this, alright--

“Hell’s Bells” by AC/DC

“Highway to Hell” by AC/DC

“Haunt” by Bastille

“Tumman Virran Taa” by Ensiferum

“Last Breath” by Ensiferum

“The Longest Journey (Heathen Throne Part II)” by Ensiferum

“HIStory” by Michael Jackson

“Under the Water by The Pretty Reckless

“Turn Loose The Mermaids” by Nightwish

“Those Were The Days” by Leningrad Cowboys

“Thnks fr th Mmrs” by Fall Out Boy

“The Light Behind Your Eyes” by My Chemical Romance

“Meadows of Heaven” by Nightwish

“Lohtu” by various Finnish artists

“Kill All Your Friends” by My Chemical Romance

I guess some of those are acceptable/more on point/at least partly serious.

32. What are some song titles that you love?

“It’s Not A Fashion Statement, It’s A Fucking Deathwish” by My Chemical Romance

“LoBodomy” by Children of Bodom, because haha, that’s pretty clever

“Done With Everything, Die For Nothing” by Children of Bodom

“Fxxk Boys Get Money” by FEMM

“Ghost Ship of Cannibal Rats” by Billy Talent

“Indie Sux, Hardline Sux, Emo Sux, You Suck” by Anti-Flag

“All Men Are Pigs” by Studio Killers

“I Never Told You What I Do For A Living” by My Chemical Romance

“If You Want Peace... Prepare For War” by Children of Bodom

I think I’ll stop there so this doesn’t get even longer than it’s already gonna be. Shout-out to all the Children of Bodom songs with “Bodom” in the title, though.

33. If your life ended today, what song would you choose to represent it? Maybe “Into the Cave We Wander” by Gerard Way & Ray Toro.

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____. I’m picking “Songs That Are Titled What The Band/Artist Is Called (Or Close Enough)” to fill in that blank.

Children of Bodom by Children of Bodom

Arkona by Arkona

Dimmu Borgir by Dimmu Borgir

Wa$$up by Wa$$up

Norther by Norther

Korpiklaani by Korpiklaani

I’m Poppy by That Poppy

The Evil That Warmen Do by Warmen

Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden

Alestorm by Alestorm

35. A heart-wrenching song: “Chasing the Sun” by Billy Talent -- I can’t even tell you why exactly I find it heart-wrenching, like yes, it’s bittersweet and beautiful and the lyrics are kind of sad, but I don’t relate to it personally, but it hits the heart anyway??

36. A band/artist you’re proud of: Billy Talent.

37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you: “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back” by My Chemical Romance

38. A song that reminds you of school: “Nights I Can’t Remember, Friends I’ll Never Forget” by Toby Keith. Despite the fact that I’ve never experienced anything like what’s described in the song, the general vibe makes me super nostalgic for my high school friends and by extension high school.

39. A song not sung in your native language: “BOOMBAYAH” by Blackpink (yay, KPop!)

40. An instrumental song: “Jupiter, Bringer of Jollity” from Gustav Holst’s “The Planets”.

41. A classical song: I can’t think of anything off the top of my head and I’m not gonna go look that shit up coz it’s already past my bedtime and I wanna finish this in one go.

42. A song with no percussion: “Romance” by My Chemical Romance (I think?)

43. Something you’ve heard performed live: “Run to the Hills” by Iron Maiden

44. Something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live: By MCR: This is the Best Day Ever; Our Lady Of Sorrows; Kill All Your Friends; My Way Home Is Through You; Heaven Help Us; Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back; Summertime; Ambulance; Gun; The World Is Ugly; The Light Behind Your Eyes; Kiss The Ring; Surrender The Night; Desolation Row; Fake Your Death; and Desert Song.

I’d also love to see Billy Talent perform “Louder Than The DJ” and “Big Red Gun” live, I bet it’d be awesome. Also, seeing some of Bodom’s cover songs would be neat.

45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province: I mean, I live in a town in the region of Uusimaa and Espoo is in Uusimaa soooo... Children of Bodom? :D

46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone: I honestly don’t know how to answer this one.

47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special: “The Zephyr Song” by Red Hot Chili Peppers was painful for the longest time because of the first person who broke my heart. :I

48. A song that demands lip syncing and a makeshift microphone: "Manicure” by Lady Gaga, “Party All The Time” by Children of Bodom, “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Warmen, and “Bang Bang” by Jessie J. featuring Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj just to name a few.

49. A song from a band/artist you met/know: Uhh, I’ve met two members of Arkona, so let’s go with “Yarlio”.

50. A song that you would rock at karaoke: “Piano Man” by Billy Joel

51. A song you can’t help but dance to: I don’t dance... :I

52. A song that makes you want to dance on a table: See previous answer.

53. Your 10 song stripper playlist: No.

54. Favourite Disney song: Probably “Son of Man” by Phil Collins (from Tarzan, and that whole soundtrack is awesome okay), though of course “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” is one hell of a jam, as well.

55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name: “Jouni Jouni” by Korpiklaani

56. A song from an artist still alive: “Hajdutanc” by Dalriada

57. A song from an artist who’s dead: “En Oo Käyny Irlannissa” by Juice Leskinen. It’s one of my favourite songs but I can’t find it anywhere on the internet, nor have I been able to find the album it’s on. The only person I know who has a copy is my dad, and he lives in Canada. Fuck.

58. A song you love by an artist/band you hate: “Save Rock n’ Roll” by Fall Out Boy. Okay, I don’t hate Fall Out Boy (that much anymore) and I never had a good reason for hating them anyway but. Yeah.

59. A song you love with a colour in the title: “9 Shades of Red” by Hedley

60. A song you love with a number in the title: “1741 (The Battle of Cartagena)” by Alestorm

61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about: Everything by Stam1na, but especially “Muistipalapelit”, which is unfortunate because it’s also the only Stam1na song I like.

62. A song that needs to be played LOUD: “Päät Pois Tai Hirteen” by Korpiklaani; “Hate Crew Deathroll” and pretty much everything else by Children of Bodom; anything by Dimmu Borgir; all of Alestorm and Korpiklaani’s booze songs; “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance; “Red Flag”, “Man Alive!”, “Surprise Surprise”, “Viking Death March”, “Devil in a Midnight Mass”, “Louder Than The DJ”, and “Big Red Gun” by Billy Talent.

63. A song that makes you think about life: “Song of Myself” by Nightwish

64. 15 Songs that get stuck in your head easily:

“Don’t U Wait No More” by Red Velvet

“Deus In Absentia” by Ghost

“Ruuminmultaa” by Korpiklaani

“Shinjidai no Saga” (Donquixote Doflamingo’s character song)

“Wooden Pints” by Korpiklaani

“Hello Bitches” by CL

“NiNaNo” by Minzy

“Hello Kitty” by Avril Lavigne

“Children of the Smith” by Blind Guardian (it’s so good I don’t even care)

“Bad Boy Good Man” by Tape Five

“Lying Delilah” by Warmen

“My Oh My” by Girls’ Generation

“Heathens” by Twenty One Pilots

“Drink” by Alestorm

“Whistle” by Blackpink

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to: "Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back” by MCR is definitely one, but I’ll never suggest it to anyone coz it means so much to me I can’t handle people hating it. :’) I feel like there are a few more that I listen to and go Everyone should hear this!!!! but I can’t for the life of me remember what they are...

66. A song that makes you want to fall in love: “Summertime” by My Chemical Romance

67. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’: “Things I’ll Never Say” by Avril Lavigne; “You” and “Heart” by The Pretty Reckless; “Stand Up and Run” by Billy Talent; “Sight of the Sun” by Fun.

68. A song that you remember from your childhood: “Lintumies” by Freud, Marx, Engels & Jung

69. A song that reminds you of you: “Wrecking Ball” by Mother Mother; “World Behind My Wall” by Tokio Hotel; “Strange” by Tokio Hotel feat. Kerli; “Waiting for a Friend” by The Pretty Reckless; “They All Blame Me” by Warmen; “Terrible Things” by April Smith and the Great Picture Show; “The Escapist” by Nightwish; “Song of Myself” by Nightwish; “Rootless” by Marina and the Diamonds; and many more.

70. Okay what’s the real answer to number 1? The closest I can think of is “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor, and even that isn’t something I’m ashamed of, like who gives a shit? I’ve got Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana on my mp3 player, I’ve got the Tales From Moominvalley theme song, the Teen Titans theme in both English and Japanese, loads of One Piece music from OSTs to character songs, I’ve got the Pussycat Dolls and Hilary Duff and Babymetal, Avril Lavigne’s been one of my faves since her first single dropped, hell, I just re-downloaded the entire Trololol Song completely unironically. Why should I be ashamed? I like it. :P

[hellofastestnewsfan]

Every weekday evening, our editors guide you through the biggest stories of the day, help you discover new ideas, and surprise you with moments of delight. Subscribe to get this delivered to your inbox.

One of the many dreadful side effects of our collective distancing is quiet, a miserable, seismologically registrable quiet. The white noise of everyday life—the humming of your local bar, the turning of car tires—is lost. In its place is the unpleasant silence of a whole world stuck on pause.

Let’s fix that. Today, we offer a playlist, assembled by three of our music critics: Hannah Giorgis, Spencer Kornhaber, and James Parker. They each picked a few tracks, each tuned to one of the very specific moods you might be experiencing during this period of self-quarantine.

A kitschier newsletter might ask you to now turn up your bass and fill the aforementioned void with sound waves from your speaker. But we’ll just leave this Spotify link here and let you decide what to do next.

For perking up without wanting to go anywhere:

“Party” by Planet 1999

Pop music’s caffeine tastes sour lately—it’s too brash, too silly, and too in love with the physical world—so instead I’ve regulated my energy with gentle, abstracted substitutes. In the video for this happy-slurry dance track, folks in casual wear bop around a digital purgatory, which feels awfully relatable. — SK

For when all you can do is stare out the window like the lead of an indie movie: “Cut Me” by Moses Sumney

As the days stretch on, so does the space for constant rumination. Thankfully, “Cut Me,” the fourth single from Moses Sumney’s græ: Part 1, washes over you with all the force and reassurance of a hot shower. Cry if you need to; nothing is more human. — HG

For a boost to the immune system: “Misfit Love” by Queens of the Stone Age, live in the studio at The Henry Rollins Show, 2007

Look at this band, these dudes: the greasy, druggy, stylish, heavy, humid closeness and consanguinity of it all. Look at them building this sick, sick groove in successive loops of wonder, in layers of inevitability, in a kind of scowling ecstasy, as if they’re inventing not just music but the idea of music. Inhale this; get it deep inside your body. This is medicine. — JP

For post-videochat melancholy:

“Where Are You Judy?” by Andy Shauf

The fantastic new album by sleepy-voiced strummer Andy Shauf is about spending a night out at the bars yet remaining stuck inside one’s own head. Here he fantasizes about an ex calling him up to reconnect, and it’s a weirdly comforting reminder that pre-quarantine freedom had its quiet madness too. — SK

For when you can’t concentrate: “Sex” by the Necks

In this general glut of horrible news, horrible numbers, and pestilential vibes, it can be—let’s put it mildly—hard to focus. The Necks are an Australian improvisational trio, and “Sex” is a nearly hour-long voyage into the galaxy that Miles Davis discovered with In a Silent Way. Slow, twinkling, irreversible build; beckoning theta-states. Whatever you’re doing when you put this on, you’ll start to do it better. — JP

For when only Morrissey will do: “My Hurling Days Are Done” by Morrissey

Forgive him his trespasses, as he might—actually probably wouldn’t—forgive yours. A yodeler on the Alp of himself, calling in his lost sheep, his black sheep, his whipping boys, in that rich and curling tenor, this, ah, complex individual is still in magnificent voice, and still capable of writing superbly, as demonstrated by this cut from his new album, I Am Not a Dog On a Chain. — JP

For a dramatic lip-sync session in the mirror: “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Céline Dion

Sure, this is one of the strangest songs ever written, but just think of it as an ode to the outside world, which you’ll see again … someday. — HG

For an important reminder not to text your ex:

“Si Veo a Tu Mamá” by Bad Bunny

Listen, I get it—social distancing has made dating really weird! But that’s no excuse to go full “Marvins Room.” Instead of Drake, let Bad Bunny be your muse: “Si Veo a Tu Mamá” is a rueful message to a lost lover who’s already moved on, but it’s also a bouncy introduction to the Puerto Rican phenom’s incredibly fun new album, YHLQMDLG. Rather than yearning ad nauseam, Bad Bunny looks forward. Do the same, and dance along. — HG

For your eerie but life-affirming walk around the neighborhood:

“Happy Cycling” by Boards of Canada

How did the ambient musicians of Boards of Canada anticipate this experience 22 years ago? The stores are closed, the gulls are jeering, and yet you pace ahead to thwart leg cramps. Five minutes in, the endorphins assemble, the creepiness lessens, and there’s an unidentifiable new feeling that might even be related to hope.  — SK

For your personal happy hour:

“Stay Flo” by Solange

Solange’s collage-like 2019 album When I Get Home has never made more sense. It’s like she’s trying to remember the chaos of the outside world, rhythm first, and ends up conjuring some fresh, bizarre, and ultimately pleasing sense of order. — SK

For breaks from the news:

“What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye

Because obviously. Gaye voiced Vietnam-era outrage, but never has a sigh of “WTF” sounded so consoling or pure. — SK

For when you’d rather be on a different planet: “Celebration Station” by Lil Uzi Vert

Lil Uzi Vert isn’t subject to the same rules as the rest of us. Where we might trudge through life, the 25-year-old Philadelphia rapper glides. That’s never been more obvious than on the long-awaited Eternal Atake, his recent chart-topping second studio album. Uzi immediately followed it up with a separate 11-track record, Eternal Atake (Deluxe) – LUV vs. The World 2. It’s nearly impossible to pick just one song from the extraterrestrial experience that is the double release, but “Celebration Station” is a roller coaster unto itself. The run from 1:49 to 2:11 will roll through you with so much energy, it’ll feel almost like wind blowing through your hair again. — HG

For thinking about when it’s all over:

“One Love Jam Down” by Papa Michigan & General Smiley

“The social barriers come down / Together in a one-love jam down.” We’re told that there likely won’t be a V-E Day on this thing, no single joyful scream-of-the-whistle moment where we all rush into one another’s arms and orgiastically reverse the months-long damage of social distancing. But we can dream—and the combined bass-synth squelch on this 1980 classic of positive reggae can keep our dreams juicy. — JP

Listen to this on Spotify. What song do you find yourself returning to in this tense moment? Send us your own pick (along with the corresponding quarantine mood), and we may highlight it in a future edition of the newsletter.

CHANNARONG PHERNGIANDA / SHUTTERSTOCK / THE ATLANTIC

What to read if … you just want practical advice:

How the pandemic will end

The four possible timelines for life returning to normal

Here’s how many people have the coronavirus in your state

How you should get food during the pandemic

One question, answered: Why doesn’t the U.S. have a national lockdown?

Other countries—including Western democracies such as Italy, Spain, and France—have responded to the coronavirus crisis by shutting down entire regions or the nation as a whole. America, which currently has the most known COVID-19 cases of any country, has not.

Two health-law experts explain how America’s federalist system limits its response options:

Constitutional authority for ordering major public-health interventions, such as mass quarantines and physical distancing, lies primarily with U.S. states and localities via their “police powers.”

Today’s Atlantic-approved self-quarantine activity:

Try last year’s six-part British drama Years and Years, an eerily timely—and oddly comforting—series about family life against a backdrop of constant crisis. In the show, “simply carrying on is portrayed as the key to survival,” our critic writes.

What to read if … you’d like to read about something—anything—other than the coronavirus:

The wellness movement is booming—and so are opportunities to profit from it.

We are continuing our coverage of the coronavirus. View all of our stories related to the outbreak here. Let us know if you have specific questions about the virus—or if you have a personal experience you’d like to share with us. In particular, we’d like to hear about how the pandemic has affected your family life—whether that’s child care, partner relationships, or any other family dynamic.

This email was written by Caroline Mimbs Nyce, with help from Isabel Fattal. Sign yourself up for The Daily here

from The Atlantic https://ift.tt/2WWs2l1

[waxandwanemusic]

Primer #7 - Guided By Voices

The Primer is our column wherein contributors compile a 60 minute playlist of a band near and dear to their heart. Using personal listening anecdotes, notes about specific tracks and a brief overview of each artist, The Primer is both a way for our contributors to trace their musical genealogy and for our readers to gain a new perspective on an artist they may have missed or dismissed.

Installment seven of the Primer series features drummer extraordinaire Joel Kuiper preaching the Gospel of Dayton, Ohio's Guided By Voices.

Be sure to listen to the one hour podcast episode we recorded with Joel about his Guided By Voices Primer.

It must have been early in the summer of 1994 when I first heard about Guided By Voices (Dayton, OH). The source was the now long defunct Grand Rapids area zine "Slak" Magazine. One of it's writers gushed on and on throughout the issue about the bands then new release, "Bee Thousand". He also gushed about seeing them on a side stage at Lollapalooza that year. He described the music as pop rock melodies that sound both timeless and fresh at the same time, and are at once both sophisticated and completely raw. The lead singer was a 4th grade teacher. That did it for me. 

On the occasion of my next trip to East Lansing record shop Flat, Black & Circular (a multi weekly event at this point in my life), I purchased a CD copy of "Bee Thousand". Listening as I drove home, I liked what I heard. The songs were poorly recorded, but had the sheer energy and enthusiasm to easily overcome any fidelity issues. Melody after melody poured effortlessly out of my Subaru wagon's speakers. I could hear The Beatles in there (Robert Pollard is the Blatz to John Lennon's Two Hearted Ale). I could hear R.E.M. in there. 

Even though there were similarities to what I had heard in the past, there was a freedom to this music I had never experienced before. And then came Track 9. "Gold Star For Robot Boy". I remember it clear as day. I was on Foster Street heading south towards Michigan Avenue.  Then Pollard sang - "If I waited for you to signify the moves that I should make - I'll be on the take - Gold Star For Robot Boy - well then that's OK". Genesis 1:1. The heavens opened. I heard it - and it was good. No - actually it was fucking great! 

This had only happened to me once before - when I was 9 years old and heard The Beatles for the first time. But the Beatles record had came from my Aunt Carole - this band was mine. And they still are. 

Guided By Voices are my favorite band. Robert Pollard is my favorite singer. He is my favorite songwriter too. He has written a few. Like over 2000. That is not a typo. And at least1000 of them are good! The fact that Pollard exists at all is the real story. As I mentioned - he was a 4th grade teacher for cryin' out loud. Making music in the basement with his buddies, having trouble getting gigs in his own hometown and releasing record after record of great songs that no one except the band and their families ever heard. (Sound familiar anyone :) ????) As a matter of fact, GBV was about to call it a day on the doorstep of its breakthrough way back in 1993 after a decent 7 year run. 

Then someone sent a tape to Cleveland. And then from Cleveland to NYC. The rest is history. GBV is not The Beatles. Pollard can't lounge in the French Riviera collecting paychecks. But he has carved out a great and lengthy career - which shows no sign of letting up - by doing things his own way and creating great music for himself - whether anyone actually heard it or not - which is endlessly inspiring to a lifelong musician like me. 

When Matty asked me to do this - he told me I had time for an hour long playlist. GBV has 23 proper records - and twice as many EP's and other assorted goodies. And I am not even going to touch Robert Pollard's solo records (He has over 20 of those too). Thousands of songs whittled down to these 26 standouts. Get ready to rock!

Listen to all 26 songs on Joel Kuiper's Guided By Voices Primer in the YouTube playlist below.

1. Over The Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox

Alright Rock N Roll! GBV! GBV! Is anybody ready to rock? This song does not rock. These very words are spoken as this track begins - and you'd better be ready to rock - cuz your gonna. From the arena rock swagger in the songs beginning, to the weird progish middle section through its melodic conclusion, "Over The Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox" is the archetype for what GBV is all about, fitting most of its many influences into just one song. No wonder it clocks in at over 5 minutes which qualifies as an magnum opus for these cats. And yes, the song does rock.

2. Your Name Is Wild

Truthfully I was sold by the title alone ( GBV has the best song titles), but the minute the song kicked in I was hooked by the uber hooky hook. Even though I can still barely figure out what he is singing - the melodies are brilliant and I can't stop mumbling along! 

3. When She Turns 50

Just Bob and an acoustic. Simple and clear recognition of one of the great voices and songwriters in the history of recorded music. And those lyrics...........sigh.....

4. Things I Will Keep

My favorite track from the Ric Ocasek produced Do The Collapse, which was GBV's attempt at major commercial success. Even though "Hold On Hope" and "Teenage FBI" are two of the bands most well known songs - both have been featured on TV shows and in Movies - the band never achieved the success they (or the record company) was hoping for with the release. It still holds up well however.

5. Hank's Little Fingers

Great title. Great execution. Great lyrics (Unless you've got the answers - don't patronize the mountain men". Great Chorus. Totally irresistible. Try and resist. I dare you.

6. Dodging Invisible Rays

As good as Pollard is - and he is that good - his main foil in the early classic years of GBV was one Tobin Sprout - who is himself good enough to shame most songwriters. Despite his thin voice, Sprout shines in all that he does with a gifted sense of melody and song craft as evidenced in this catchy number. He is worthy of his own separate career - and he has achieved just that. Sprout has released multiple impressive and acclaimed solo efforts. Without question Sprout should get his own highlight someday here at Wax & Wane. I'll start begging Matty now. Sprout is also an accomplished and successful painter - he had a gallery in Leland, MI for years and is renowned throughout the world in those art circle thingys.

7. Secret Star

 This was the tightest and most talented lineup GBV has had (so far). Sounding like something The Who could have recorded in the early 70's, the song is complex and compelling. The payoff at the end is sublime. "To wish for you to fall. To wish for you to burn. To wish for your return". 

8. Gold Star For Robot Boy

1:39 of pure bliss. The first time I ever heard it I listened to it 27 times in a row. 

9. If We Wait

One of my favorite Pollard vocals. What he does with the single word "anymore" alone is worthy of rock glory. A genius at work. In the basement.

10. Everyone Thinks I'm A Rain Cloud (When I'm Not Looking)

An easily overlooked (in GBV's massive catalog anyway) gem from the bands last record preceding its 10 year hiatus, which began in 2004. The band toys with the arrangement like the pro's they are and create plenty of magic to accompany Bob who never disappoints. Well almost never. For 90% of bands - this would be the best they have to offer. Its just another day in the office for the Wizard from Dayton.

11. Non-Absorbing

Oh. it's gonna absorb all right. "Do you see me dee dee dee deedeedeedee - Like I see you do do do dodododo" You'll never get it out of your heard again. Ever.

12. Atom Eyes

Tobin strikes again! See what I mean? His damn songs are soooooo good. This one is jangle pop heaven. "There's a million heartstrings ready to fly - let's pull them now" Pull away Sprout!

13. Planet Score

A song reminding us all to go to the record before they are "like the ghosts of Motown you just don't see them anymore" or "like the spectres of L.A. haunting the buildings of New York". One of the best tracks post the reunion of the classic lineup.

14. Indian Fables

This quick 43 second toss-off perfectly illustrates the simple musical magic that ensues when the golden throated Pollard easily whips up yet another charmer.

15. Fly Into Ashes

This is a B-Side on the "Hold On Hope" single. A better song, in my opinion. I can't believe it didn't make the record. GBV's throwaway's are most band's prime rib. Doug Gillard - wunderkind guitarist and musical foil for Pollard in GBV's second act - really shows his mettle here. That guitar solo really flies!

16. Dayton, Ohio 19 Something & Five

Nostalgia never sounded so good. We are not worthy.

17. Little Whirl

A delicious Tobin Sprout rave-up. You can't not like this. "I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE"

18. Girls Of Wild Strawberries

Gorgeous. Better than the fruit - but not better than Girls.

19. Echos Myron

Usually coupled with "Yours To Keep" (both are from the seminal Bee Thousand), "Echos Myron" has been a staple of GBV's legendary live shows (The Best live band in America for two decades now) -  and is guaranteed to have the whole house doing the pogo up and down from the first chord. "We're finally here - and shit yeah it's cool!" Bass Player/Lawyer/Wearer of the Striped Pants Greg Demos offers a great final argument as he shreds his way through the last part of the song as rock n roll nirvana is reached.

20. 158 Years Of Beautiful Sex

Sounds good to me. The song is great too. A drum machine never sounded so good. Notice how Pollard drops the bass out of the song at the :54 mark of the song and then brings it back in at 1:04. Are you fucking kidding me? No joke. "Loads of creamy music - and lots of time to make it". Indeed.

21. The Hard Way

In lesser hands this early standout could potentially be just another generic rocker - but when The Prince of Northridge (the Dayton neighborhood Pollard hails from) adds that damn voice of his - it's like when the color hits during The Wizard Of Oz.

22. Not Behind The Fighter Jet

The last song the classic lineup recorded before its 18 year hiatus (1996-2014). Love those keys at the end. Glad it didn't end!

23. Universal Truths & Cycles

The title track of "Universal Truths and Cycles" is a slinky number with a great chorus (aren't they all?) with some standout bass work by Todd Tobias. "And the lost hierarchy of land - and land owners - and down will go back up forever more - I must try to believe this". I believe! Hallelujah I believe!

24. The Other Place

 First song. First record. First classic. Pollard shows us from the very first seconds that he is a force to be reckoned with. Already 30 years old, it is not dated at all and seems even more fresh today than it must have in Dayton in the mid 80's. The first of many Pollard songs that R.E.M. wish they had written. Again - those damn vocals. Sweet lord.

25. Game Of Pricks

Maybe GBV's finest hour. A tale of the death of a relationship that is so damn catchy that the CDC is still working on an antidote some 20 plus years after this rock n roll virus was unleashed. "I climb up on the house - weep to water the trees - and when you come calling me down I put on my disease". Take that Dylan. The band would re-record this for the Tigerbomb EP. While it was recorded better - and had some nice new guitar parts - the original version cannot be matched. This song is so good it inspired at least one book (Perfect From Now On) and just may be the most played song in my personal collection. 

26. The Ascended Master's Grogshop

Sure the title is weird - but the song's melody is devastating. A melancholy masterpiece - that's less than a minute long. Sigh with me.

Joel Kuiper owns and operates a non-emergency medical transport service called Outpatient Express. He also plays drums in The Stick Arounds, Scary Women and Icey-Dicey.