#the place where their relationship started keeps appearing now whenever they're together

[infizero]

i said this in the tags of another post but. the way that the desert always seems to PHYSICALLY pop up whenever scar and grian are together is insane. first them finding the only tiny patch of desert in double life, and now a desert appearing in front of them right as they're laughing together and riding on a llama camel. like we all know this but MAN. they seriously never left the desert. it's become a symbol of their past together, and they can't escape it.

[hjparisian]

you're losing me- theodore nott x reader

p: theodore nott x gn!reader w: kinda sad, angst summary: Theodore Nott and (Y/N) (L/N) have been close friends since they were kids. Realizing their feelings for each other, they pursue a relationship. Theodore begins to change and (Y/N) feels that they're losing him. a/n: i wanna apologize for how long it's taken for me to get this out, but i hope its still enjoyable. also do you guys like the summaries before the story? not sure if i should keep them or not

Theodore Nott and (Y/N) (L/N) have known each other since they were young. Being purebloods, they were put together with the other pureblood kids at parties. The first party they ever been to, the two clicked, deciding they were designated party buddies at these boring functions.

Aside from the Malfoy's, the (L/N)'s also threw numerous elegant parties. The (L/N)'s never cared for where the kids were as long as they were exhibiting proper sophisticated behavior when present. At one of the (L/N)'s parties, young (Y/N) dragged young Theodore to one of the many rooms in the manor, wanting to escape the adults. The room had rows of books from floor to ceiling, a fireplace, and big windows that brought in beautiful sunlight during the day.

From that day forward, that was (Y/N)'s and Theodore's room. (Y/N) would always bring Theodore to the room whenever he was over, whether it be during parties or the holidays, and Theodore would bring more books to add to the shelves. Sometimes they would invites some of their closet pureblood friends like Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Blaise, and the Greengrass sisters, but to them, it was their room only.

Once the two began going to Hogwarts, they felt closer than ever, and the fact that they were both placed in Slytherin helped. If (Y/N) was in the library studying, Theodore was next to them helping. If Theodore was chilling in the common room with his mates, (Y/N) was sitting right next to him.

In fourth year, the Triwizard Tournament was taking place and the Yule Ball was announced. Everyone was scrambling to find someone to take. Theodore had only one person in mind though, (Y/N). He told them to meet him at the astronomy tower, where he stood there holding their favorite flowers, ready to pop the question.

"(Y/N) (L/N), will you make me the luckiest man alive by being my date to the Yule Ball?"

Much to his pleasure, (Y/N) said yes.

The day of the Yule Ball finally came and everyone was excited. Both (Y/N) and Theodore were nervous, not wanting to embarrass themselves in front of the other. The moment the two laid their eyes on each other, they didn't even notice the other people around them, all they saw was each other. Toward the end of the night, Theodore told (Y/N) his feelings, sparking a new relationship at Hogwarts.

Everything was going just fine, sure they may have small arguments, but Theodore and (Y/N) would always be able to patch things up. But things start to change in the sixth year. Theodore started to be more distant. He would either be late to breakfast or not show up at all. Everytime (Y/N) would ask if they could meet somewhere, Theodore would always reply with "Can't, I'm busy right now." This change was putting a strain on their relationship.

To everyone else, it seemed that Theodore and (Y/N) were fine, but in reality, there's an unknown battle going on. (Y/N) tried to appear happy in front of their friends, not wanting to worry them, but there was one person that could see through their facade. Pansy.

Every time Pansy would confront (Y/N) about this, (Y/N) would defend Theodore with their life.

"(Y/N), I can see things between you and Theo aren't okay."

"No! I mean, we're fine. Theo's just busy right now with school."

Pansy knew that they really cared for Theodore and don't want to face the facts that their relationship is starting to fall. But by doing so, (Y/N) is slowly bleeding out from the pain he is causing them.

Before winter break, (Y/N) was invited to Slughorn's Christmas Party. Those who were attending were encouraged to bring a date. They decided to take a chance and ask Theodore to be their date, not wanting to go with anyone else.

(Y/N) was able to find Theodore in the common room reading, and decided to take chance.

"Hey."

Theo looks up at them. "Hey."

"I was wondering, if you weren't busy, if you would be my date to Slughorn's Christmas Party?" There was a slight pause. "Blaise and Pansy are going. I think Daphne too."

(Y/N) looks at Theodore, slightly scared for his response. The man took a breathe before answering.

"Sure."

"Good." (Y/N) said. "It's on the 20th at 8 o'clock. Dress nice."

Theodore Nott said yes to going. So why was (Y/N) disappointed by his response? It's because his response wasn't what they were expecting. Theodore's responses were typically more energetic, telling them there was nothing else he'd rather do than spend time with them.

Was this the beginning of an end? Is (Y/N) starting to lose Theodore? Or is it the other way around? Will Theodore lose (Y/N) by pushing them away?

The night of Slughorn's Christmas Party was not an exciting one. (Y/N) was deciding if they should just ditch it and leave Theodore waiting for them, if he even bothered to show up. But of course, Theodore wouldn't ditch them nor would (Y/N), having been taught manners all their life by their parents.

The two met up in the common room, deciding they could walk together to Slughorn's office for the party. The walk was painfully silent, until (Y/N) decided to break it.

"So. How have you been?"

"Fine." Theodore responds. "You?"

"I've been alright. Mainly doing school work."

Theodore hums in response, ending the brief conversation.

Luckily, they had arrived at Slughorn's office. Theodore opened the door and as they walked in, it felt like they were transported somewhere else. It seemed as if the Potions professor really out did himself, with all the gold, crimson, and emerald hangings, it definitely did not feel like they were in his office.

(Y/N) spotted their Slytherin friends and dragged Theodore towards them. Pansy stood with Blaise, who was holding her waist while Daphne Greengrass was chatting it up with Adrian Pucey.

"Hey, Pansy!" (Y/N) called out.

Pansy turned towards the two Slytherins at the sound of her name. "(Y/N)! Theodore!" She ran to give (Y/N) a hug, Blaise joining her to give Theodore their so called 'bro hugs'.

"You look stunning," Pansy says.

"Aw thank you Pansy," said (Y/N). "You do too!"

"And what about your other favorite Slytherin? Don't I look hot?" Blaise asks with a sly grin.

"Ah Blaise," (Y/N) begins to say. "You look absolutely terrible." A small 'Hey!' leaves Blaise's month as he looks offend. "Joking, joking!"

A voice calls (Y/N)'s name. It was Professor Slughorn.

"Ah (Y/N)! I'm so glad you're here. Come with me, I've got a couple people who are want to meet the (L/N)'s heir!"

"Oh er, sure Professor," (Y/N) tells him as he begins to drag them away.

"Worry not dear (Y/N) you'll be back with your friends soon!"

As Slughorn was bringing (Y/N) to meet some of his friends and alumni, (Y/N)'s eyes looked at Theodore, who wasn't even aware or concerned about their temporary departure. In fact, he was more focused on the seemingly wonderful conversation he was having with Daphne Greengrass.

While being forced to talk with numerous people, thanks to Professor Slughorn, (Y/N) couldn't help but keep looking for Theodore, hoping he was looking for them but to their disappointment, he was staring still staring into the eyes of Daphne, smiling as she was talking. He hadn't looked at them like that in ages.

They had to talk to Theodore.

(Y/N) turned to the lady that was currently chatting with her. "My apologies, I must be heading now, if you could excuse me." They began walking towards their supposed lover and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello Theodore, Daphne. I hope you don't mind if I talk to Theo about something, do you?" (Y/N) asks.

"Oh no, go ahead," Daphne tells them.

(Y/N) had already begun to drag Theodore outside the party, pulling him into an empty corridor. As soon as they stopped, Theodore yanks his hand out of (Y/N)'s grasp.

"What is it you want, (Y/N)?" Theodore asks. "Daphne and I were in the middle of a conversation."

"What I wanna know is what is up with you? Since the start of this year, you've practically been ignoring me! Everytime I've asked to do something, you always say you're busy!"

"That's because I am busy-"

"Doing what? Spending time with Daphne? Avoiding us?"

"(Y/N), no. It isn't-"

"It isn't what, Theodore? I see the way you look at Daphne. It's how you used to look at me."

At this point, (Y/N) was struggling to hold their tears back, releasing all the anger, frustration and pain they've been holding in.

"This whole time I've been pretending everything was fine, but in reality I was waiting for you to do something to save us. To show that you still love me."

"(Y/N) I still love you."

"If you still did, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Theodore took a deep breath, obviously starting to get frustrated.

"Listen (Y/N), let's just go back to the party and talk about this later." Theo tells them.

"Oh? So you can avoid this whole conversation and me the rest of the night? To spend your night with someone else?"

"Honestly (Y/N), you're over exaggerating," Theodore scoffs. He turns and starts walking away from them.

"And where are you going?"

"Away. I think we need space right now. I'll see you after break."

Theodore leaves (Y/N) alone in the corridor. All (Y/N) could do was sob, feeling heartbroken. The next day, they took the next train and returned to the (L/N)'s manor.

"How has school been? Are you passing all your classes?" (Y/N)'s mother asked during lunch.

(Y/N) swallowed the piece of food in their mouth before responding. "It's been alright. I'm doing well in all my classes. I have O's and E's."

"And how are your friends?" (Y/N)'s father chimes in. "Oh and Nott's boy! How could I forget? How is he?"

"Oh Theodore! That boy is so sweet." (Y/N)'s mother said.

Of course they'd have to bring up Theodore. "Everyone's doing alright. We're just all busy with classes and preparing for NEWTs next year." said (Y/N), trying to avoid the topic of the Slytherin boy.

"You know," their mother begins. "I wouldn't mind if you and Theodore got married once you graduate from Hogwarts."

If (Y/N) had anything in their mouth, they would've done a spit take.

(Y/N)'s father agreed. "I think it would be wonderful! Uniting the Nott and (L/N) families."

(Y/N) didn't want to let their parents know what happened between the two. It would only cause more harm and could ruin any business going on between the two families. Besides, who'd want to marry the insecure heir of the (L/N)?

Not wanting to discuss this anymore (as well as losing their appetite), (Y/N) handing their plate to the families house elf before standing up.

"If you'll excuse me, I would like to do a bit of studying."

(Y/N) began walking straight to their room, until a specific set of doors caught their eye. They decide to take a detour and enter it. It was the room where Theodore and (Y/N) would spend their times hiding from the adults at the elegant pureblooded parties.

It looked about the same since they were last in it near the beginning of summer. Shelves of books filled from floor to ceiling, the fireplace was out, books strewn about on tables, and their most favorite part of this room, the large windows that shined sunlight on them. It was one of the major things that Theodore and (Y/N) liked about this room.

On one of the tables was a handkerchief with the initials T.N. embroidered on it. It was Theodore's.

One summer afternoon, (Y/N) and Theodore sat across from each other reading. Theodore heard small sniffs and looked up to see (Y/N) with tears welled up in their eyes.

"(Y/N) are you alright?" He asked them, concerned for their wellbeing.

(Y/N) looked up at him. "Oh, yes, sorry. I just got to a really emotional part in my book, but I'm alright."

Theodore put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a white cloth with the letters T.N. on it in gold.

"Here, (Y/N)," Theodore says as he hands it to them. "So you can wipe the tears. I hate to see you cry."

(Y/N) immediately takes the handkerchief and dabs the tears away. "Thank you so much Theo."

The boy gave them a smile. "Anything for you (Y/N)."

All (Y/N) could do was cry at the memory. The Theodore that they once loved, was practically gone. The love they had for each other has faded. They could no longer find the pulse leading to their love.

All that remain was the room that Theodore and (Y/N) had loved because of the light.

[bingsucks]

What I think Troy and Abed would think of my favorite movies. Yes I am still alive

1. Midnight cowboy

Troy would cry. Troy would cry so hard he has to be consoled all night and then a little more in the morning. I think Abed would start doing that little "surprise yourself in the mirror" thing that Joe does and give himself a little "well there you are you handsome devil you!" Everyone once in a while too. They could probably see themselves in the relationship between Rico and Joe a bit - imagining what they would do if they were living in a foreclosed apartment with no money to speak of. Also whenever Abed gets sick and starts coughing a lot Troy has a little panic like "what if" and refuses to take him anywhere he wants to go

2. Clue

This one's not so much my favorite anymore because I was kinda sorta in a production of it and it's just ough a bit boring now, BUT, i dont think Abed would really like it. Like he would like it, but it wouldnt be his favorite. Troy on the other hand INSISTS they be Mrs. White and Wadsworth for Halloween because he wants to see Abed with a fuckass bob wig. Also, most of the jokes Abed would have to explain to Troy and after the explanation he would go "oooohhhhh" and burst out laughing. Anyone who wasn't Abed would find it annoying

3. The Truman Show

Fuck Jim Carrey. Anyway, this one fucks with both of them. for like a week they're all doing that thing where they look around trying to spot a film crew. Abed stops making meta jokes for a bit just to try and catch someone lacking. then they interrogate each other and are like "this is ridiculous we're not on a TV show." Little do they know. Abed likes seeing Jim Carrey in a more serious role (and hates his guts), while Troy just sits there in awe the whole time.

4. Don't feed the muse

Troy would watch the first theory and send it to Abed as a joke, and then keeps doing that with the other theories until the first Alex appearance and Abed is like "wait wait. Now hold on" and becomes obsessed with it. When a new theory would come out he would RUN to Troy so they could watch it together. Abed gives his own theories for an hour after the video every time, there's an indent in the floor where he places. Troy just thinks it's cool. He also doesn't get the ending. He also thinks the character of muse!Alex is hot but in a "I am feeling things that I do not want to express out loud but why does he make me feel like that" way

Also, fun fact, in remedial chaos theory, Toby works for a restaurant called Pizza time pizza. It also has the word theory in the title. Coincidence? I think not... Alex Bale was behind that episode all along

[thesoulesscollection]

Oooooo Soulless!!! Tell us more about Choc, Carol and Reginald! The people want to know!📸📸🗣🎤📷📸

Thank you for this lovely question. 😌🤲. I'm currently rotting my brain with Choc anyways so I've been wanting to do this. Also, thank you personally for allowing me to ramble and sorry this took me a while. I'm like mentally all over the place. 

Now they're growing on me now, as an odd couple dynamic I'm starting to love. This is kinda an Au I'm playing with since the ship is slowly growing on me. Hope this is what you asked for and it's enjoyable to read. 

The three are in a polycule. Kinda hard to explain here what they got together. Kinda somewhere in the queer spectrum 

Carol and Reginald were already in an existing, established relationship for some time prior. Where Choc was introduced way later on into it by Carol, smitten with him, “He makes me laugh” A line she uses to explain it. 

Reginald was hesitant to bring the man into their relationship, the two of them have a close bond and so he had felt out of place when the idea came across. 

^ I like to think that Choc & Reginald have an antagonistic, rivalry sort of  relationship. They get on each other like oil and water. Nearly always at each other's throats.

^ Understandably wary, it took quite some time for Reginald to really get at ease around Choc and was aloof with the man. (Choc appears to be more than he seems) 

^ Similar to an old married couple arguing but add onto some vicious snarkiness into the mix like you wouldn't believe. Unfortunately Carol has to act as the middleman between the two with the last brain cell.

Whereas Choc gets along surprisingly well with Carol who does enjoy that he can make her smile and the day a lot brighter so easily. 

Choc enjoys gifting the pair incredibly corny shirts with cheesy images or sayings that he gets from somewhere, he doesn't say. Carol loves them but Reginald cringes from it. Says it's not in his style, Choc thinks it's him being a finicky, prissy hardass

Whenever Reginald is busy at work or flying the airship, Choc is throwing out a pun/joke to pass the time. Nonstop chattering on his end, some jokes at the chief's aggravated expense

Out of the three, Choc is the type to initiate more intimacy and affection, while also taking stuff that belongs to them since it reminds him of the other two. 

Now onto a short one shot of the three together. It's simple and not the best but hey, I liked it. This is my first time actually writing Choc so you'll get to see him in more depth;

***

Reginald so desperately wanted to bash his face into the wheel of the airship but he resists the temptation. 

He never seems to shut up, he keeps going and going on, his voice projects loudly in the spacious area. His highly infectious laughter rings in the chief's ears. 

“Hey, chief. May I say something? I'm really worried about the airship’s well-being” Choc said, a toothy smile on his face, gold fangs out on display. The chief in question, eyes squarely up ahead, his only response, a tired grunt as the man shrugged, continued. “With the bright light from the sun reflecting off your forehead, aren't you worried as I am that it'll blind someone?” 

Suddenly, Reginald hears the chuckles by the other members in the room range from muffled and polite to outright and proud. He is shaking, tightening his hold on the wheel. Whatever Carol sees in the candy maker is beyond him. 

“What? I'm genuinely concerned here. Can't I be that now? Getting worse by each passing day. Can see my own reflection” As the joke is made worse, Choc leaned in, in playful mockery, checking himself out. 

“Kinsley. I am trying to fly. So please. Not at this precise moment do I want to do this with you” 

Choc hovers above him then stands, a smirk stretches the lengthy scars on his sun kissed face, “It's alright, Reg. It's a joke. C'mon now laugh with us” He laughs, roughly patting the chief's tense shoulder, “It's quite alright that you're so follically impaired” 

Another rumble in the room gave Reginald a stronger desire to hit something. However, in his fortune, his eyes flicker over to the corner of the room and sees Carol standing next to the door. She is smiling stiffly it seems, not laughing which Reginald is so relieved for inside and soon she's by them, tugging at Choc's sleeve to get his attention. 

“Choc. C'mon. Let him be,” She calmly states to the man, who in the good forethought nods and goes with her. “I need you for something anyways so come” Her hand is outstretched for him to take and he does, not before he takes a curious glance behind, catches the Chief's eyes. The expression on the candy maker's face is unreadable and Reginald couldn't stand it.

“Thank you” Reginald whispers, barely loud that only he knew Carol can hear him. She hums. 

How he's going to get along with that joke of a man, he doesn't know. 

[jojotier]

in the spy au... what is the most fucked up romantic drama you speak of

OH BOY is it a DOOZY

so here's the thing about the spy au. because almost everyone has a secret identity it turns what might've been a love triangle or love trapezoid into a love dohexahedra. to give a very simple summary

DR ROSE-NOELLE (formerly Rose Lalonde, secretly Agent Cestus) is currently infiltrating the prestigious Prospitian Yellow Yard private school system, where she meets LADY FISHER (secretly Feferi, the runaway new ruler of Derse), a well-established Prospitian socialite who appears to have dirt and some vendetta against Crocker, leading to Rose deciding to seduce her, which leads to Unintended Feelings but--

OH NO! Rose is ALSO crushing on the cute tailor up the street, Kanaya Maryam! But alas, it's a crush she must let go of, since Kanaya is a Civilian (she isn't) and also holding Amorous Affection toward the offputting local librarian, Ms Vriska! And they're starting to date! Thankfully, she can take her mind off of it by trying to keep her newest mission alive, but alas! That also leads to Unexpected Feelings! How was she supposed to know that Agent Arachnid (secretly Vriska) could be strangely charming in a bitey, pathetic way while she's trying not to die by the Prospitian bounty hunter Auxiliatrix's (secretly Kanaya's) hand! And then Agent Cestus (Rose) has to contend with the fact that these may be the beginning sparks of Jealousy, seeing how Agent Arachnid and Auxiliatrix dance around each other, as if Arachnid doesn't want the game to end just yet...

Meanwhile Auxiliatrix wants desperately to just kill this fool Agent Arachnid because she's been so sleep deprived during her dates with her darling Vriska during the day! But then Agent Cestus appears to make things even harder, but Auxiliatrix can't help but find her strangely alluring... an intellectual equal...... it reminds her of the old flame who gave her the mission in the first place........ an old flame which seems on the verge of rekindling as Agent Gallows (secretly Terezi) becomes more and more vulnerable about her previous relationship with the rogue Agent Arachnid! But every time Kanaya feels she's getting close, Agent Gallows pulls away

and Terezi makes at least a cursory glance at trying to make Karkat fall in love with her, but that ship's long since sailed, and even if they were together, there's no way he'd ever give up the true identities of all of his contacts. Shame! Well, at least there's this cute comic artist/mail girl who comes around, who even indulges Terezi whenever she wants to do roleplay! Nepeta's sweet, lovable, and a Civilian (she's not)- so maybe some normalcy is what Terezi's thinking she craves... meanwhile Nepeta (secretly Dersite Agent Arsenic) sees Terezi flirting and becomes conflicted... because she's been exchanging letters with Agent Gallows of the Prospitian side for a while now, even outsie of the work correspondence, and she thinks she might be in love with her! But oh no! Does she also like Terezi.....??

But she doesn't have time to dwell on it, because Equius (alias Charon, the Dersite death machine builder) is falling in love, and the poor dude needs all the help he can get! His feelings for that weirdo arms dealer Mr. Angelo (secretly Eridan, Feferi's right hand) still confuses the hell out of her, but there seems to be some more tension that he isn't saying.... And Charon, looking over the perfectly edited autopsy reports he's received from the ghostly mortician A, able to even determine the cause of a robot's demise, sends his heart aflutter.... and besides, Mr. Angelo is a civilian, and a higher-ranking one at that... and the telegrams from Eridan Ampora have been really getting under his skin, making it so hard to have time alone!

Mr. Angelo meanwhile sees Dr Rose-Noelle as his rival in love to Lady Fisher, until he starts suspecting that she might ACTUALLY be Feferi, but he doesn't want to Outright Accuse because the consequences of getting it wrong are politically pretty fucking dire, so as his investigation shifts his amorous affections begin to shift toward Dr. Rose-Noelle... which is a fantastic distraction, since Agent Cestus has been a Right Pain in his ass, not getting Agent Arachnid out of Auxiliatrix's way fast enough for his tastes.......

and that's not even getting into TurnTech (secretly Dave) falling for Dr. Harley (secretly Jade) while Jade pines after Dr Rose-Noelle, and Dave also falling for John, who's secret identity is a comedian and therefore does not enter the equation.

It ALSO doesn't even start to get into TA (secretly Sollux) and Pastor's (gee Sollux, why do you get two secret identities) mobius double poly reacharound between Lady Fisher, Mr. Angelo, Aradia, Mortician A, and the heiress Feferi or Tavros crushing on the librarian Vriska while Agent Arachnid had a little fling with the informant Toreados or also like multiple people having a crush on Karkat at some point. this is just everything i could get down before i ran out of steam ghbjkjn

[hangmansradio]

restricted section suggestions or ideas or things i'd like to see! : more subspace, i love when frank gets literally stupid with it. more intriguing toys that gerard is experienced with but frank has never tried. i think frank is due to be a little bratty and have a proper punishment (that they both enjoy obv) more public sex. gerard goes to franks again. maybe at some point they move in together and can explore that dynamic. gerard doing work and keeping frank next to him and fucking him whenever he wants and plugging him so he's so full of cum by the end. frank in lingerie! roleplay. they're together fr so frank should meet mikey. i want to know if mikey knows about gerards preferences maybe frank addresses gerard sir in front of him on accident and some awkwardness ensues and mikey can be like yea i don't need to know about all that you two have fun tho. you know how frank would write his fantasies? i want gerard to write one that makes frank positively blush all the way down his face and chest and his pupils dilate and his cock weeps also. no one ever frots anymore you know? maybe a scenario where that happens. frank wants to fuck in the archive and gerard is like no we couldn't possibly these are historical documents! also an inclusion of other bandom characters and friends of theirs could lead to more plotty stuff. more development in franks career i want to know more about his music! and also just i loved the chapter where they went out in public so much i love them being in a relationship but also having their power dynamic. i love reading about them being out while gerard buys things for frank and frank walks around like an airhead yay. but obviously they don't have to go shopping again they can just do whatever but yes airhead frank who is just happy to go along with whatever daddy wants.

anyway i love the fic so much and i hope to see more!

Oh my goodness THANK YOU for this, Nonny! 💜💜

I am thrilled and delighted to see some things here that have already started appearing in the chapter I'm currently working on 🤭 and a few things that I hadn't considered, that have fired my brain back into the place it needs to be to get those cogs moving again. Thank you thank you thank you 😘

I worry sometimes that I'm being too self indulgent with the copious amounts of cum in this fic, but your idea of Frank being kept on hand to fill up through Gerard's working day is too good to miss... If I'm not alone in wanting Frank utterly dripping, then it is my duty to write it 🫡

I had considered bringing in Mikey... I think some more characters are probably required now it's rolled along this far 🤭 I keep going back and forth over whether it's time to admit enough is enough and wrap it up... Or whether to just keep it going in some endless, mostly plotless, mammoth fic where I squeeze in as many kinks as I can think of.

I think I know now which way it's going to swing 😅💜

[cozza-frenzy]

So here's what the fuck happened. Trigger Warning: Alter "death" As far as anyone can tell, at least, this is a rough timeline of what led to this point:

Early in the system's history, The Red Forest appears. This is not an alter; it's a kind of amalgamate, a collection of disjointed, emotionally volatile fragments that's attempting to behave as one mind.

After some investigation; it can recognize patterns, attempt to do things, and seems to feel basic emotions like anger and fear, but is largely unable to communicate and can't front without causing immense disruption to the system's function. It lashes out at Chaos, keeping it isolated from the rest of the inner world for a full day, and causing harm to its in-system body.

Vimes emerges from the forest and contains it behind a barrier in the inner world. Operation Kaiju is enacted when it attempts to break the barrier; being the only alter that can change size at-will, I face off with it, and manage to intimidate it into stepping down without starting a real fight.

I'm able to establish communication with it through the barrier, calming it down when it gets agitated, and easing the transition of its fragment. The first and last thing it says is THANK YOU, before it appears to vanish from the system. The last alter to emerge from it is Jenova, our pain holder, who lives in the Inner World Domain where it once was.

Months later, we're kicked off the server we helped to found, losing friends and ending a romantic relationship. The stress from this causes the re-emergence of Caddy - a former host who, though we had no idea at this point, was already entangled with the remnants of The Red Forest.

More alters come out of dormancy, or detached fragments form new splits. Our headcount doubles within a few weeks. Again, we don't know it yet, but everyone in "The Old Guard" - the first 18 alters - is starting to weaken. Identity issues start to become more widespread, and our personalities start to become more limited in their scope.

Caddy, meanwhile, keeps adopting more and more different roles in-system, and starts gaining enough strength that he could very well take over the host role. He considers it a few times, but something holds him back.

Early February 2024; the Mass Fusion Event happens. Caddy chooses to fuse with his romantic partner, Dr. Gaster, because he feels as if their relationship is too one-sided if one of them is a fragment. Together they become Caddings, who almost immediately starts to show bizarre signs of instability, with their personality and accent rapidly shifting towards something else whenever they're at front.

Late February 2024; the fusion that is Caddings abruptly fails. Gerry appears in system, and pieces of Caddings are scattered around our subconscious; as several "Old Guard" alters undergo individual identity crises and then revert to their "old selves", gaining more energy and becoming more distinct again, we start to piece together what happened and trace events back to Caddy.

March 9th 2024; a new alter emerges. Its coming is heralded by "shadows" of Caddy appearing in places all over the system expressing their regret and sorrow, and "The Last Unicorn" playing loudly and persistently in the fronting room. Gerry, anticipating something is about to happen, takes protective measures against it - and what emerges immediately calls us "intruders" and behaves aggressively towards me.

March 10th 2024; the new alter fronts, for the first and the last time. After talking things over with it, it turns out this alter is the remains of The Red Forest; our pain, anger and regret finally taking form. It's the one that was suppressing the system for three whole decades; it used Raine as its Red Right Hand to enforce dormancy on others until they rejected that role. And to try and sustain its existence, it latched onto Caddy until the failed fusion created Gerry and let it manifest.

And that brings us to now.

I've never met someone in this system that didn't want to exist so badly. It knew what it was, and it wasn't able to feel anything but pain, anger, fear, regret, and after it manifested a body for itself - remorse for what it did to us. We managed to get an apology out of it. We managed to finally get closure. We managed to find redemption for both Raine - who has struggled with feelings of guilt, blaming themself for the suppression - and Caddy, who was as much a victim in this as they were.

I told it that I forgave it, and in the kindest terms possible, that it should have never existed - and I was sorry that it did. But it's gone now; it fused with Jenova and she became the "main part", meaning it'll never have to think for itself or exist in that way ever again. We can't die here - but that granted it the closest thing to a dignified and peaceful death that a system can manage. And the forest, likewise, is gone - in its place is a clearing, filled edge-to-edge with the glowing flowers that our system uses to represent hope. I left the front for the first time in the past month, and we celebrated well into the night in the inner world, dancing on tables and rolling out barrels of ginger beer, putting our arms around each other and singing. Our recovery is far from over, but this is the beginning of the next step. We survived. Now it's time to start living again. - Terry

[blazethecheeto]

okay let's go in order of the narrative i carved out of this album (guys i know this might not make any sense just hear me out)

-

fainted love

this is probably the most accurate song to describe their past relationship. (at least to me) they both took comfort in each other for their flaws and darkness, nothing more. there was a twisted sort of love there, for both of them, but on the surface, it was just comfort from the only person they had.

there was this fanfic i read where it had this dynamic between them and UGH I CANT REMEMBER IT BUT IT FR CHANGED MY LIFE.

-

winner

so. so their relationship wasn't all good. their 'casual situationship' was soulcrushing for virgil, they really were toxic for each other.

this was when it started to crumble apart. when he started to consider leaving.

-

alley rose

*gets out spreadsheet* so besides my soul ascending the moment i heard this song, this absolutely shattered me thinkin about anxceit. this is janus's pov, virgil is his alley rose. their love was so fragile, so terrifying for him, that he didn't care whether it would end one day. he loved him more than virgil knew.

(FUCK OFF BRO THIS SONG 😭)

-

found heaven

see this reminds me of virgil leaving the dark sides, the whole 'you're no demon' analogy as he leaves them for the light sides, he feels wrong but he's found a new place to stay that accepts him.

not a perfect analogy, but the religious imagery in the song does remind me of patton and thomas- the guilt inside of all them to be either on the good or bad sides.

-

eye of the night

this sounds like virgil being paranoid about janus watching him everywhere he went after he left- the whole 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' analogy.

janus bill cipher connections go crazy

-

never ending song

LOOK THIS IS WHEN JANUS APPEARED. virgil thought he escaped his old life, but the moment janus showed up, all the memories came flooding back and he realized the cycle will start over. that's why he keeps interrupting janus whenever he tried to speak, snapping at him to just leave.

virgil 'wasted' his adolescence giving himself to janus even though he always kept him at arm's length.

-

lonely dancers

k this is just virgil bonding with the others over bad exes. i immediately thought of that moment in svs where janus flirted with roman in front of him and he flipped up his hoodie and sulked. he's still salty about it, but wants to rub in his face that he's better off.

(it reminds me of let's kill tonight, which is on virgil's playlist- the same energy of let's dance and party so we forget heartbreak)

-

the final fight

me when anxceit confrontation song. look, i don't even have to analyze anymore i can just post the lyrics. but yeah i will fucking riot if virgil doesn't have this angsty ass speech to janus in the finale, asking him why, telling him what he put him through. i can see a narrative in this album now, from him leaving, to introducing their past, to the inevitable confrontation.

its funny how these songs genuinely sound like they'd be on virgil's playlist bc half of the songs in his playlist are angsty janus songs.

-

miss you

another janus song holy- he knows he hurt virgil, he knows his own flaws and insecurity ruined them. but he misses him a lot. this is the other half of the confrontation, where janus retorts back to the final fight, accepting that he treated him wrongly, but he never meant to break his heart.

:((

-

forever with me

now this song totally ruined me when i heard it. after the confrontation, janus and virgil both really thought about how they affected each other their whole lives.

in another life, they don't fuck it up. in another life they put aside their insecurities and love each other right. and they're still gonna be together forever. (they have to be)

-

i skipped bourge-jesus or whatever it's called bc it didn't rlly fit the narrative. (although i think the light sides could symbolize the bourgejizzers, and how the dark sides used to make fun of them or pretend they were them in the past) then again i could make anything sanders-sides related if i tried.

boys & girls i skipped too, and killing me had the same implications as winner. ANYWAYS HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS RANT IM GOING INSANEEEEE I LOVE ANXCEIT SO MUCH

stream found heaven it's a godly album also i might keep doing these, especially for their official playlists i have a doc that's like 60k words with me analyzing each song.

found heaven is an anxceit album send tweet

[kpop---scenarios]

Cravings || One

Pairing: Vampire! Hongjoong x Reader

Warning: None Yet

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: If you would like to be tagged, let me know!

"Babe, hey babe." Your boyfriend, Chad calls out to you, as you're sitting at the kitchen table, running over over bills again and trying to figure out how the fuck you're going to try to pay everything. You worked damn hard, and barely had anything to show for it. Ever since Chad had moved in a few months ago, without an invitation, you were stressed. Everything had gone up and doubled since he hadn't left, and he also hadn't contributed anything financially towards the household. You paid for rent, utilities, groceries and you even paid when the two of you went out for dinner. Chad worked full time, but where his money was going, you had no fucking idea. He constantly went out with his 'boys' , often coming home obliterated, and just expecting you to have your legs spread open for him when he rolled in, apparently that was your duty as his girlfriend, according to him. As if not contributing and acting like a man child was such a turn on. Not to mention the countless hours he spent on your gaming console, yelling and talking to his friends, leaving you no time to play any games that you like, unless you wanted to wake up a few hours before you had to work to sneak on it. But by the time you got home from work, cleaned up the messes he made throughout the day, made yourself dinner, showered and got into your PJ'S, you were too damn tired to do anything. You knew you had to wake up the next day and do it all over again, so any sleep you got was precious. 

A part of you often wondered why you were in this relationship with him. Maybe you were scared to be alone, maybe you didn't think you could do any better than him, but you stuck with him, because for some reason, you loved the guy. 

"What do you want, Chad?" You sigh, walking into the living room where he's sprawled out on the couch, headset on and his match paused. "I'm trying to figure out bills, you know that thing that keeps us warm, and with light and hot water, that you said you'd help pay and haven't." 

"Yeah, babe, can you go to the corner store and get those Takis, you know the ones I like? The not so spicy ones though babe, cause remember I have acid reflux, and a diet coke." He says, turning back to the screen, laughing at something said through his head phones. 

You could feel the rage building up inside of you, awfully quick, and it was seeping out of you even quicker.

"Are you going to pay for said snacks?" You ask, trying to keep your voice calm. 

"What?" He laughs. "Babe, no, come on. I'm broke. I don't get paid again for two weeks. You know this." 

"You just got paid yesterday." You breathe through gritted teeth. "Where the hell did all your money go?" You ask, your hands balled into fists. 

"You know babe, I had the fantasy football league entry, plus I owed Kyle money for the keg bomber last weekend, and I took the boys out for supper yesterday. Shit adds up." He says, never looking at you, only focusing on the game. 

"And that's my problem, why exactly? Why is it always on me just because you're not financially stable. Grow up, you're 35 for christ sakes!" You yell. You stomp to the kitchen, grabbing your purse and slipping on your shoes before heading back into the living room. 

"Yeah, she's got her shoes and purse." He laughs. "She's definitely going to get my stuff." 

"You know what Chad? I'm definitely not going to get your snacks, get your own fucking snacks, Chaaad. I'm going for a drink, with my own goddamn money." You spit, storming out of the house. 

You're wandering down the street, like you had been for the last thirty five minutes, and finally you found somewhere that looked decent enough. You walk in, and the lights are on very low, the place is almost dark, had it not been for the red lights swinging above tables, or the string of red lights wrapping around the ceiling. Your eyes wander the open floor of seating as a soft beat vibrates through the building. Every person in here who was sitting with someone was leaning closely to that person, seemingly having an intense conversation. The vibes felt dark and eerie, but you welcomed it, you enjoyed it instead of being around Chad's fuck boy mentality. You walk towards the bar, sliding onto one of the empty bar stools and setting your purse on your lap. Your eyes were looking down when you felt a presence standing in front of you. You look up and see quite possibly the most beautiful man you have ever seen. 

"What can I get for you?" He asks, his voice is deep, yet so smooth and calming.

"Double vodka and coke please, and for the love of god, keep them coming." You sigh. After your comment you see the slightest hint of a smile appear on his lips, disappearing even quicker than it came. 

"Bad day?" He asks, beginning to pour your drink. 

"Bad relationship." You groan. He nods his head as he slides your drink towards you. 

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, leaning on the bar with his chin resting on his hands as he waits for you to speak. You look into his eyes, and they're so warm and mesmerizing, you felt safe and secure, like you could tell him anything. Which is exactly what you did.

"What's your name?" You ask. 

"Hongjoong." He replies. "You?" 

"Y/N." 

"Okay Y/N, what's bothering you?" 

"My boyfriend, we've been together for just over a year, and well.. he's something, and not the good something like people usually say. He moved in with me, without even asking me if I wanted to, and I just kind of accepted it. He doesn't pay anything, no bills, rent, groceries, nothing. It's all on me, even though he does work full time. He forgot my birthday, went out and got absolutely plastered with his 'boys'. On Valentine's Day, he took me out for dinner, and can you guess who was there?" You ask. 

"His boys?" He answered. 

"You sir, are correct. I was ignored the entire evening, and then he and his boys left, I ended up paying the bill, and I had to uber home because he had driven us there. Not to mention the fact that he assumes I'm just there for his pleasure, expecting me to be spread eagle for him whenever he decides to show up." You finish, chugging your drink as you try not to gag on the strong taste of vodka. 

"Why are you with him then? He doesn't sound like he contributes to the relationship at all, so why do you stay?" He asks. 

'Honestly, I'm not entirely sure." You answer as he slides another drink in front of you.

"Now that's a bullshit excuse." He replies. "There's a reason that you clearly don't want to admit." 

"Do you ever smile?" You ask him. 

"No." He answers. "Now, why won't you leave him?" 

"Because it's safe, I guess? I don't know if I can do any better than him." You shrug. 

"Y/N, you have no idea how much better you could do." He says. 

** 

From the moment Hongjoong had a whiff of the scent that was coming into his bar, he knew that it was the scent of the one. He intensely watched the door, waiting for the one it belonged too to walk through the door. As soon as you did, it was almost as though his heart could have started beating once again, the ice cold blood that ran through his body could have turned warm just by the sight of you. He isn't sure what it is about you, but he had always been told that he would know when he found the one, and having been alive for over a century, he had just assumed that it wasn't in the cards for him, and now he knows why. Because all his life he had been waiting for you. The person that he would do anything for, the person that he would be anything for had finally walked into his life, and for once he felt an ounce of hope, until, you had mentioned the filthy human you were in a relationship with, not to mention one that treated you like absolute garage, and you had assumed that no one better would love you, but shit were you ever wrong. He was standing right in front of you, and though you had just met him, he loved you with everything he had and would do anything and everything to protect you. 

**

"I appreciate your advice, Hongjoong, but it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow." You sigh. "How much do I owe you?" You ask, grabbing your card from your wallet. 

"It's on me." He tells you, grabbing your empty glass.

"Well thank you." You smile. "It was nice meeting you." You tell him as you slide off the stool. 

"You too." He says, watching you walk away from him. 

That night when you got home, you couldn't get Hongjoong off your mind, a smile spread across your face as you walked through your front door, and headed into the living room, then it instantly dropped. Chad had not moved from the spot you had previously left him in a few hours ago. "Oh, babe." He says, sucking the cheeto dust from his fingers. "Kyle brought me some snacks, since you threw a huge temper tantrum about my snacks, you can just venmo or cash app him, k?" He says, going back to playing his game. 

You went to bed that night, dreaming of one man, who was not your man. 

**

Over the next few weeks, you had absolutely no desire to be at home. So you headed to the bar that Hongjoong worked at, everyday after work for a drink, or two, or four. In those weeks the two of you spent an ample amount of time getting to know each other, you were sure he knew you better than Chad ever did.  You didn't want to see Chad, you didn't want to be near him and it was bad enough that he constantly texted you throughout the day, sending you lists of things to buy from the grocery store, as if he wasn't able to do it himself. But much to your surprise, he didn't text you when you never came home with his snacks, he didn't check in with you throughout the day, and honestly it no longer bothered you. 

You felt your feelings for Hongjoong deepen with every encounter the two of you had, every time you saw him it was like nothing you had ever felt with Chad, your emotions were amplified around Hongjoong and you weren't sure how much longer you could keep them hidden. 

"One more." You tell Hongjoong, as you set down your fourth glass. 

You can tell he wants to smile, but he's too good at controlling his emotions. "You've had enough, I'm cutting you off." He tells you. 

You pout, trying to give him your best puppy dog eyes, but absolutely nothing got to the man and it was frustrating as fuck. 

"A bad storm is coming, you should probably get home." He tells you, drying off some glasses. 

"I don't want to go home, he's there." You scoff, just thinking about Chad made you want to vomit. "I guess I could just get a motel room, at that place across the street." You say, pointing over to the run down motel, that had flickering lights, and probably a rat and cockroach infestation. 

"You will do no such thing." Hongjoong replies. "You can stay at my place." He says. "Give me a minute." He walks from around the bar, towards the back of the building, and you can't help but to turn in your stool and watch him walk away, damn he looks good. 

Within seconds he's back, grabbing your bag and scooping you up into his arms as he effortlessly carries you out the door. 

"I can walk." You object. 

"I know." He says, his face stone cold. 

"You're very pale." You tell him, as if he didn't know. 

"I know." He replies, unlocking the door to his car. 

"And you're very cold." You say. 

He sighs. "I know." He finishes as he slides you into the passenger seat of his car. 

As soon as he started his car, the rain began pouring as thunder and lightning jolted the sky. 

"You were right, there's a storm." You say, watching out your window. 

"I know." He replies, this time it sounded different. You turned to look at him, hoping you'd catch him smiling but no such luck. 

He continues driving, taking you out into the middle of nowhere, out of city limits, this was it, this was probably when you died. You panicked slightly but you felt it in your entire body that he was not going to murder you, at least not that night. 

Hongjoong pulls up to a gate, punching in a few numbers to open the gate, which just blocked off a winding road. You squinted as you tried to see where you were going but it was far too dark for you to see anything, until you pulled up to a beautiful mid-century mansion that made your mouth drop. It was absolutely stunning and you couldn't believe that he lived there. 

"Seriously? This is where you live?" You say. 

"MY family, but yeah." He answers, parking the car near the entrance. 

He hops out of his seat, walking towards your side to open the door for you, pulling you inside before you get too wet. He dragged you up a large flight of stairs, not letting you admire the inside of his house. He put you inside a large room, with a large bed and a bathroom ensuite. "There's towels if you want to shower, I'll be back in a bit to check on you." He says, avoiding all eye contact before walking out of the room. 

You let out a deep breath as you take off your heels, unbutton your pants and unhook your bra, placing it all next to the bed. You sit down on the bed in your underwear and t-shirt, wondering what to do, until your phone rings. 

Looking at the caller ID, you didn't want to answer it, but you felt it would be unfair for you to do so. 

"Hello?" You answer. 

"Hey babe, it's me.. it's Chad." He says. 

"I know who it is." You sigh. 

"Look.. I know you've been terrible, oh, wait, I mean I've been terrible in our relationship lately but I want to make almonds." He says. "No idiot, it's amends." You hear from the background. 

"Are you kidding me right now? Do you seriously have Brad over to help you?" You yell. 

"Well yeah, he noticed that we were drifting apart and offered to help me get you back." Chad explains. 

You get up off the bed, pacing on the hardwood floors as you tried to process what he just said to you. 

"The fact that you didn't even notice that we were drifting apart is all that I need to hear. You know what, Chad? I'm done. I'm done with this relationship, I'm done with you. Just get out of my apartment, I'm over it." You yell, hanging up the phone. 

You stand there, taking deep breaths as you replay the conversation you just had, he didn't even care enough to notice that you'd been pulling away. That kind of hurt, but then again it was Chad. He was never very perceptive. 

A knock at the door before it suddenly opens, reveals Hongjoong, walking into the room. He tried to play it cool with the fact that you were practically naked in front of it. 

"I heard yelling. You okay?" He asks as lightning strikes, causing the power to flicker. 

"Chad called, he had his friend Brad over to feed him lines because Brad noticed we were drifting apart." You explain. "But I did it. I ended things." You proudly admit. 

"Good for you." He says, staring at you, while you stare back at him. A crack of thunder hits loudly, making you jump, and within seconds Hongjoong's arms are wrapped around you, like he was protecting you. You look at him and he looks at you, and before you can tell yourself not to, your lips are pressed against him, and he is kissing you back. 

The kiss turns passionate and needy in seconds, both of your desires for one another coming out without any control. He moves you both to the bed, laying you down as he hovers over you, his strong arms keeping him above you. You wrap your arms and legs around him, pulling his body closer to yours, feeling him near was all you'd wanted. His ice cold fingers touch your stomach as he begins to lift your shirt up, you can feel his cock slowly becoming harder. You begin lifting his shirt, when his phone rings. He stands up, whispering an apology before answering his phone, barely speaking any words. 

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I have some things to take care of." He says. 

"Oh, yeah, no problem." You say, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Get some sleep." He tells you before walking out of the bedroom door, leaving you alone once again. 

You tried to fight the exhaustion you felt, but it was far too hard. You got snuggled underneath the blankets, watching the door, hoping he would come back but your eyelids got too heavy for you to keep open, and you swiftly drifted off to sleep, finally feeling some peace. 

**

The warm sun was shining into the room, waking you up. You let out a little stretch before opening your eyes, only to see five men standing around you. You sit up, moving to the wall, as these men stare at you. You looked at them all, and they all looked similar to Hongjoong. Pale skin, dark eyes, dark head, blood red lips. 

"Who are you?" One of them asks. 

"Y/N." You whisper. 

Another one speaks up, looking at the other four men. "Who the fuck brought a human home?" 

[kazuchii]

Hihi, can I request hcs for Xingqiu, Venti, Albedo, and Diluc with a gn s/o that seems aloof but they're such an idiot? Like for the first time s/o's bf see's how soft s/o really is and s/o is kinda being a tsundere about how soft they really are. I hope that made sense ashbesjks

Aloof GN!Reader w/ Genshin Boys

A/N: Hellooo! Thank you for requesting! You’ll be my first request so I’ll do my best to fulfill everything! I hope everything seems in character, I really need to get used to writing different personality types.

Synopsis: The Genshin boys discover that their s/o is actually softer than they originally thought.

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Venti, Xingqiu

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: N/A

Masterlist

Albedo definitely didn’t mind you being distant towards him. I mean, he struggles with interactions in general so he just assumed,

“Oh, they must struggle as well.”

He never saw it as an issue between you since he knew deep down that you deeply cared for him.

He knew you’d always come back to him at the end of the day, he fully trusted that fact about you.

Strangely enough, he found you an intriguing person due to this.

Although the citizens in Mondstadt appear to see him in a positive light, there still are many who fear him deep down. After all, he keeps his secrets zipped up inside him. They know absolutely nothing about him or anything he’s capable of.

But you…you didn’t seem to care about that. And he was thankful for that.

And that brings you to today; a bright sunny day with the rays from the sun gleaming down.

The two of you, along with Klee, were outside the walls of Mondstadt, nearby the lake surrounding the city of freedom.

Today, Klee decided to have a little play date with the two of you. While Albedo was painting away, you and Klee were supposed to play around together.

If he’s being honest, Albedo was a little nervous.

You and Klee had never played together before and due to the distant and cold personality he was used to when it came to you, he wasn’t sure how you’d react with being around a bouncy and hyper child such as Klee.

So when Albedo spotted you playing with Klee, a soft smile on your face, he had a mini heart attack.

Not because he was panicking or anything, but more because he wasn’t used to seeing you smile like this. It made his chest feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Later that day, Albedo made sure to comment on the event.

“Well, it appears you two were getting along fondly.”

“You were watching?!”

“Of course I was watching. How could I look away from that fond smile you had on your face?”

“Shut up!”

“It was very cute.”

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

Diluc and you first met months earlier. You were just another customer at first to him while he was simply a bartender.

Immediately though, he found you interesting.

While his other customers were loud and obnoxious, you would just sit at a table in the corner of Angels Share, minding your own business.

You would only ever speak to ask for another drink, which he would always provide.

“Another glass of apple cider, please.”

He doesn’t know what came over him when he decided he mentally decided to court you. He probably will never know the exact answer either.

It wasn’t the easiest either. Courting you was one of the most difficult things this man has ever done, and somehow he accomplished it in the end.

You were challenging with your distant personality, to say the least. It seemed to him that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him, that you didn’t see him in the way he saw you.

So when you finally accepted him after weeks, the relief this man felt wash over him in an instant is indescribable.

Now present day, Diluc finds himself heading back to Angels Share in the middle of the night. The moon was directly above him as he silently walked through the city, the only other light source being lanturns.

Due to the drowsiness that he was currently feeling, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him when he spotted you.

“What in the world are they doing out in the middle of the night?”

But what startled him more than the time on the clock was your facial expression. For the first time, Diluc saw you smile.

Diluc just stood frozen in time as you sat there, rubbing the belly of a stray dog, an empty bowl beside you. He could only assume you’ve been taking care of a stray.

“Who’s a good boy? It’s you, isn’t it!”

“(Y/N)?”

You instantly froze in place, your head creaking towards Diluc’s direction.

“D-Diluc.”

“What in the world are you doing up at this hour?”

“I-I could say the same for you! What are you doing up this late, huh?!”

You shot up from the ground, face beet red.

“I asked you first, love.”

“NOTHING. I WASN’T DOING ANYTHING!”

“That dog below you giving you puppy dog eyes says otherwise-“

“WHATS A DOG??”

Venti was simply just strumming away at his lyre, the sound alluring the Mondstadt citizens around him as he stood at the foot of the Barbatos statue in the plaza.

His eyes were shut as he too, was preoccupied with listening to the soothing sounds.

When his fingers came slowly to a halt, his aqua green eyes peeked open, the sound of the citizens around him clapping filling his ears.

A smile morphed onto his face.

But soon that smile increased in size. Beyond the crowd surrounding him, he spotted you. You weren't doing anything special, just standing there.

“(Y/N)!”

The bard could hardly control the excitement of you watching him doing what he adored.

Although your facial expression read that of a bored person, Venti didn't seem to mind at all at that moment. Instead, he craved your attention.

Soon enough, the bard stood in front of you, his grin somehow getting wider.

"(Y/N)! Did you enjoy the song?"

"It was nice."

Nice? Only nice? Your facial expression said otherwise. Was the song boring to listen to? Did he mess up a note? Maybe it just wasn't your type of song.

Venti's eyes narrowed in thought, his lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed. He wanted you to say something more than just nice, he wanted you to smile for once due to one of his songs.

That is how you found yourself in this situation. Daily, Venti would find you around Mondstadt, play a song for you, and then wait for your response. He wanted you to say something more than the song was nice without a single hint of emotion before leaving.

But each time, that was your answer and Venti was getting annoyed. Not at you of course, but that he lacked the power to make you smile. He’s the Anemo God, but he can't seem to make his s/o smile.

So the astonishment Venti felt when he glimpsed his eyes over towards you after he played yet another song and saw you smiling ever so slightly, he almost dropped his lyre.

"(Y-Y/N)...are you smiling...?"

"Wait what-"

"I saw it! I saw you smile!"

When I tell you Venti was all over the place, I mean it. He was like a bouncy ball with him bouncing in every direction. But he couldn't control it. The pure bliss he felt in that moment took over all his actions.

"I-I didn't do anything. My face twitched."

"You can't lie to me! I saw it with my own eyes!"

The relationship between Xingqiu and you happened almost instantly. The two of you went from total strangers to Xingqiu always dragging you on his little adventures.

It all started with just a single sentence;

"Oh, you like Legend of the Shattered Halberd as well?"

Let me tell you, the look on his face when you said that. He always dreamed of having another person he could converse with when it came to books. So, the moment you said that he wasn't about to let you walk away without learning your name and other books you have read.

A friendship sparked between the two of you. He was one of the only people who would constantly talk with you even if you acted distantly. Soon enough, the two of you became a couple.

He wasn't worried about grabbing you from your home and taking you outside on a little adventure after he just finished reading one of his adventure novels. And of course, he'd always have a book with him during this time. You found that cute about him, but you never showed it.

Whenever the two of you would chat about books, Xingqiu was always shocked whenever you told him you haven't read a certain book.

"You're telling me you've never read The Pale Princess and the Six Pygmies?!"

"Never."

That's when he shoved the first volume in your face, an immediate serious expression on his face. Blinking a few times, you accepted the book from him.

"Read it and then tell me how you feel about it. I can give you the other volumes if you enjoy it."

"Okay."

Xingqiu thought you seemed wary at first to read it. He knew you weren't as majorly obsessed with books as he was, so he internally was just preparing for you to end up not reading it.

He didn't mind it though, reading wasn't for everyone after all.

The following day though, he felt the sudden urge to stop by Wanwen Bookhouse. He just wanted to skim some of the books there, maybe purchase one or two.

But those plans immediately ended when he spotted you. You were leaning against the wooden red railings, the book he had let you borrowed flipped open in your hands. And you were a chunk through it already.

Xingqiu could've worn his eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets because the one other thing he saw was the tiny smile located on your face.

You didn't seem to notice Xingqiu before he was standing right in front of you, a huge grin on his face.

"You seem to be enjoying the book I lent you. Would you care for the remaining volumes?"

You almost dropped the book as a shriek left your mouth.

"Where did you come from?!"

"Well, I felt the urge to stop by the bookhouse and saw you. So, about those other volumes..."

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, your cheeks slightly reddish.

"I'll...pick them up later..."

[nicoleheichou]

Now All I See Is Color - chapter 4: friends?

♡ masterlist ♡ 《 previous | next 》

In a world where soulmates exist, it's uncommon for most people to find theirs. A lot of them going their whole lives never experiencing the world in color because they've never met their soulmate. But that all changes for y/n when she becomes MSBY Jackals player, Miya Atsumu's assistant. They're about to experience the world in color together. But what does that mean for y/n when both her and Atsumu are in committed relationships?

You find yourself in the blonde's car, unsurprisingly it was just as flashy as he was. "So what do I have on my schedule for today?" He questions while starting the car. You glance at your tablet that had been provided to you by his agent, his schedule for the rest of the month already programmed into the calendar.

"You have a local sports radio interview at 3. And then you're free for the rest of the day." You reply while glancing at the clock at the top of the screen. You give him the details and go over the questions they sent over to help him be prepared for the interview. "So yer saying we have 3 hours to ourselves? Perfect."

He didn't really care for the questions rather he wanted to talk and get to know you. The car ride was silent for the most part, with the occasional gasp from you or him whenever you saw a color that you hadn't seen yet. It was nice being able to share this new experience with someone, you knew you weren't alone and that helped you cope with your current situation.

"Y/n?" You glance over to see him looking at you through his peripheral. "Yes, Miya-san?" You turn your attention back to the road, noticing just how different everything looks now, the shops, the streets, the signs, it was like you were seeing everything for the first time. "Call me Atsumu. I think with everything we know now, we can drop the formalities." He tells you while shooting you a smile.

Was that alright? Wouldn't it be best to keep things formal between the two of you? You were conflicted, unsure if that was the right choice, but you nodded your head anyway. "What's yer favorite color that we've seen so far?" You put a finger to your chin, thinking of all the colors you've seen in the last few hours. You glance out the window until you finally look up. "The sky. I could stare at it all day. Just imagining myself laying on a blanket, staring up at the sky, watching the clouds go by, it's just so beautiful." You look over at the male, who's focused on the road, but nodding along to your words.

"What about you Mi--Atsumu? What's your favorite color we've seen so far?" It felt odd calling your employer by his first name even if he was your soulmate. "Easy. Yer eyes. There's just something so mesmerizing when I look into yer eyes. The other colors can't compare." You can't help but feel the heat rushing to your face, how can he say something like that with no hint of shame? You raise a hand to your cheek, hoping to try and cover up the blush appearing on your face. How can he just say something like that so calmly? Is he like this with everyone?

You finally arrive at the restaurant, it was nothing flashy, a hole in the wall spot, definitely a place where you could relax and not have to worry about people staring at you. "I hope ya don't mind. I was craving some ramen." He leads you to the entrance, holding the door open for you. "Ladies first." He says with a grin which causes you to roll your eyes. You haven't said much to each other, but there was a sort of comfortableness between the both of you. Was that one of the perks of a soulmate bond?

You take a seat at the table farthest away from other customers, not wanting them to hear the conversation you were about to have. Turns out Atsumu was a regular at this restaurant, so he knew the best things to order. He orders for the both of you and while you wait for your orders you finally decide to talk about the big grey elephant in the room. He leans forward, motioning for you to do the same. "Would ya ever think of giving the both of us a shot?" He whispers, jumping right into the question. You look around, making sure no one is listening, which they weren't, but you did get a few stares from people. "Atsumu...you're in a relationship. I'm in a relationship. We can't just break up with them in hopes that we'll work. Plus, we've only known each other a few hours."

He lets out a sigh but nods in understanding. "How about we start off as friends then? And if at any point we feel like it might lead to something more...we break up with our significant others and give us a try." You don't see anything wrong with his proposition, but a part of you is scared of what could happen. You're scared that you could actually fall for him and end up hurting Suna, and with the stories you've heard about soulmate bonds, they were very likely. "Before I even think of agreeing to this, we need to tell our partners about this. You need to promise me that you'll tell your girlfriend and I'll tell Suna. I want to know how Suna feels about this."

He leans back into his chair. "Ya really love Suna, huh?" You smile at the thought of your boyfriend and what he's probably doing at this moment, which was probably making fun of Komori in practice, which usually involved taking videos of him and saving them for later for blackmail purposes. Of course you love him, that's why you can't help but feel a tinge of guilt for being out with Atsumu who just so happens to be your boss AND soulmate, without Suna knowing, even if you were still on the clock. "I do. And do you love Mika-san?" He just nods, not really vocalizing how he feels for her. Your food arrives and it's silent for a bit while you both enjoy your food.

"Ya need to try this." Atsumu says while shoving his chopsticks in your face, against your better judgment you take a bite out of the meat he offers you and your eyes immediately go wide. "Good, right?" You take another bite out of the meat before he can take it back which causes him to chuckle. "Next time we'll order some just for ya."

The rest of the time is spent with the two of you just laughing and joking around. He told you a lot of stories of him in high school and embarrassing stories about your boyfriend, you made a mental note to bring those up later, already picturing his reactions. The more you talked, the more it felt like the two of you had known each other your whole lives, you found yourself enjoying your time with the blonde.

Bonus:

a/n: sorry. more writing in this one. lol. I did my best. 🥴 once we get all the explanations out of the way it'll mostly be smau. lol.

suna def has lots of videos of komori doing embarrassing things. suna has blackmail material on everyone. lmao.

hinata & sakusa had to promise to take bokuto out for ramen so that he wouldn't get sad. lol.

timestamps don't matter ever unless i say so. lol

I hope y'all are having a good day! and if y'all wanna discuss this chapter, i'm here. 😊

comment or message me if you want to be on the taglist!

Taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @youidiot91 @koffyee @kyomihann

[animeyanderelover]

Hey I just wanted to say I love your blog so much!💗😵‍💫 Also for the 2k event could you do A, C, L and T for kakashi and naruto?

Thank you for the sweet words, dear💗. Tomorrow I'll sadly not be able to post anything so please wait until I'll start answering requests again.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, stalking, kidnapping, killing

Yandere Alphabet

Kakashi Hatake

Affection-How and how often do they show affection?

📖It should probably be obvious, but Kakashi has his moments where he becomes more touchy with his darling and that means obviously giving more physical affection to them. He's of course not exactly used to doing such things since he's never had someone with whom he was that close before. But Kakashi sincerely cares and he wants to let his darling know that as well, he grows over time just fond to have some nice time alone with his s/o and do something sweet. He has his moments where his touches are rather protective though, for example when his darling gets uneasy in public and he quickly leads them back home, hand placed on their waist or lower back.

📖Kakashi enjoys mostly chilling with you and being lazy so he is fond of just resting in bed together and cuddling with your head placed on his chest. Since he likes it when he can make you suddenly flustered he is also a fan of surprise kisses where he'll suddenly pull his mask down (if he has it on that is) and give you a brisk kiss. Mostly he just wants to stay in his apartment due to his always lingering paranoia so he is aware that he has to keep the s/o somehow busy and that actually leads him into becoming quite creative with ideas and activities both of you can try at home. Small side note that if he isn't feeling particularly touchy and/or pervy, he is more respectful if his darling doesn't want to receive affection.

Confession-How do they make their feelings visible? Would they ever confess and court their darling?

📖He makes his feelings obvious through stalking,lol. This aside, Kakashi appears to be at first quite chill around his darling, managing to not become a complete and utter mess. It's made obvious through more subtle signs at first where he tells them to be careful when wandering somewhere alone around, to not drink too late at night and to be extremely careful on missions. Additionally he slowly starts showing his dislike when someone else starts paying attention to the darling or does something sweet for them. He always glares slightly and when someone mentions that person to him, he speaks about them in a more passive-aggressive way and says that they're not that special. Additionally he sometimes seems to be deeper in thoughts and the first time Guy asked him if he's thinking about you, Kakashi froze before neglecting it and he was lucky his mask covered his slight blush at being caught in action.

📖Guy still didn't stop bugging him and in the end Kakashi just admitted it and pleaded his rival to keep this a secret. That of course didn't happen, news somehow got out and it spread like a wildfire and shortly after everyone, even his own students, were teasing him and asking when he would confess. That would be around the time he decides now he should just start his move because by now you might have heard anyways. He has his knowledge through stalking and he plans quite a bit how he should approach his darling since initially Kakashi wants to try a normal relationship. So it soon afterwards happens that you might sit in a shop and eat whilst wondering about the recent rumors and all the genin and even jonin who have wanted to catch a glimpse on you before someone suddenly sits down next to you. That someone is Kakashi who just greets you casually with a smile.

Loneliness-How do they feel when they're seperated from their darling?

📖Not good, not good at all. Even if he has a calm appearance, Kakashi worries himself up a lot whenever he is away from his darling. That is why he is a stalker in the first place, because sometimes the timing isn't right. He won't let his missions get affected by it of course, he can still somewhat manage to pull it off like people expect him to do it, but the pounding thought never leaves him. If the s/o is on a dangerous mission and he couldn't accompany them it's even more nerve-wracking for him. He would know that you're capable of defending yourself, but the mission is high-ranked for a reason.

📖Kakashi is the kind of Yandere who feels like his darling is only really safe when he's around them, a reason why he stalks them. Like this he can protect them all the time. Now if we're talking about you being on a mission, he can't do much against it though he insists on following your team the moment you are past the planned returning time. If he is on missions it becomes easier for him to choose what he'll do whilst he isn't present to protect you. He has two favored options. The first one is simple. It's locking his darling in his apartment with maybe one of his dogs keeping them company since he will most likely need his ninken on his mission as well. The other option, with more freedom for you, would be to let Guy look after you since that man is the only guy Kakashi would feel like you're safe around as well. He trusts Guy with their years of rival-friendship and he knows that Guy is strong.

Trauma-How would they act when at their lowest and neediest point/when they nearly lost their darling?

📖Kakashi constantly carries the weight of the death of all of his friends around and he visits the memorial stone daily, but he doesn't want to drag his darling down with it. He's good in hiding this sadness around the s/o and with them around it becomes easier to feel more happy, though of course he also feels like he can trust them with his deepest pain and sadness. He shows his sorrow, a good example is when he visits with his darling the memorial stone. Even if his hands are at the beginning in his pockets, at one point he'll grab the hand of his darling in a tight grip which will almost let them feel his regret and sadness. He won't really let go of your hand afterwards, he just clutches it in his own even after you two have left the stone.

📖He's had enough people dying on him already and even if he started things with a more normal-looking relationship, over time he just grows more and more paranoid and afraid that the same will happen to his darling. He is just beyond distraught, something inside of him finally breaking completely and this would be the fastest way for him to kidnap his darling. He grows afterwards extremely overbearing, refusing to let his darling go ever on missions or outside again and if you were deadly injured, he goes past the level of babying for a long time. If it was the case where you were without him on a mission he would only feel more confirmed in his theory that only he can protect you. If he however was there and had to watch, it’ll only shatter him even more. A moment of silence if an enemy is to blame because they’re dead, Kakashi will either track them down and slaughter them or he will end them right then and there in case he saw it, striking them mercilessly with his chidori.

Naruto Uzumaki

Affection-How and how often do they show affection?

🍜Hahaha! You kidding? He’s on one level with Obito in that topic, he’ll suffocate his darling with his love and affection. It’s rather hard for him to not show his love like this. He would seriously have his mood dragged down if his darling would tell him that he should stop. Since Naruto is scarily delusional though, he wouldn’t want to believe that you aren’t into affection and instead he comes up with a for him at least logical and reasonable excuse to why you act like this. And it’ll only end with him smothering you even more. You two are after all in love so what is wrong with him expressing his feelings? You love it just as much as he does after all. Naruto is a boy who has lots of love to give after all. Not to mention that he has picked up the habit from both of his senseis to be pervy every once in a while.

🍜And he is into all sorts of affection and with him there is a level of too much love. Will absolutely shower and drown his darling in kisses and hugs, even in public and whilst he is being watched by others, he’s rather shameless about such things. Is also into a lot of praising and complimenting, in his opinion everything you do is great and he’s sure to tell you that as well. Naruto has this habit of holding love speeches to you in certain situations and they’ll be really long since he will literally name everything he loves about you which is pretty much everything. And even if he is easily made jealous, he still likes taking you out and going on cute little dates with you. He asks quite often Sakura for ideas on how he can show his darling that he loves them and Sakura has some good ideas herself. Naruto of course is also creative and over time he started picking often wild flowers for his darling (Sakura taught him the meaning of each flower).

Confession-How do they make their feelings visible? Would they ever court their darling?

🍜…Everyone will know. I mentioned it earlier, but Naruto has difficulties to not show how much he adores the s/o and it’ll be made awfully visible and obvious to everyone around him. Naruto is the type to fall at first sight after all and he was completely lovestruck the moment he met his darling for the first time and by the way he couldn’t stop staring at them the whole time and the way he looked totally ravished for the rest of the day gave it all away. After this one day he will always try to see you again, ask friends and people around him if they know where you live and he quickly plans on courting his darling. If someone doesn’t know, he’ll honestly tell themselves because oh lord Jashin, he can’t shut up over how great and sweet the s/o is. Literally everyone including you has to know, it’s impossible not to. And every time his friends see him skipping back with a large grin on his face and dreamy eyes they know that he just met you somewhere.

🍜For Naruto it is not even a question whether you like him as well or not, he easily misreads things and always denies signs of rejection. He plans on confessing and courting the s/o, no question about it. But he won’t be rash about it, he wants this to be meaningful. Asks literally everyone he knows what would be a great way to confess to you, including your friends and even family and since he is honestly someone who people view as a sweetheart for his darling, they’ll help him. Especially his pink-haired friend will be extremely excited to help him. For everyone it is less of a question “if” but “when” he will confess to his darling and since he is extremely affectionate from the very start, people often mistake you always as a couple. This all might make you somewhat nervous as well since you will expect the confession as much as everyone else. It isn’t until he has prepared everything that he’ll invite you one day to Ichiraku’s for ramen and confess to you. It’ll be the first of many of his love speeches to come.

Loneliness-How do they feel when they’re separated from their darling?

🍜Naruto is a terrible protective Yandere as well since he had his own experiences that made him a bit distraught and so he feels beyond terrible and constantly on edge of he is away from his darling. Naruto spends every wakening moment with them and he gets visibly dragged down when he is on missions without his s/o or the other way around. Normally he always insists on coming with you, so much more if the mission is a rather high-ranked one. But Tsunade or Kakashi depending on who is Hokage at that time, of course won’t let him always have his will since they are aware that it would end with him handling the biggest part and letting you only do the harmless stuff. He’s far more impatient than Kakashi is so chances are high that he will storm after his darling when it takes too long out of his own endless paranoia. He is somehow who acts before he thins in such regards.

🍜It’s so rare for him to leave his darling alone without finding a way to smuggle them with him unless he is about to get himself in troubles in which case he would feel too uneasy to leave you all by yourself, even if you can hold your own. Definitely wants his darling to stay rather inside than going somewhere alone, though differently from Kakashi he might not lock them away as long as they calm him down a bit. Similar to Kakashi he will find himself a person whom he trusts enough. And the most obvious choice will be Sakura, she’s one of his best friends and she’s been helping him with this relationship from the very start. Naruto has trust in Sakura and with the knowledge that she will take care of you, he feels the tiniest bit less worried. He has of course a lot of friends, but Sakura is the one he will entrusts his darling the most with.

Trauma-How would they feel at their lowest and most neediest point/when they nearly lost their darling?

🍜Naruto is all the time needy for love and affection and not only purely because he is a total sucker for it. It’s also because he is needy for this kind of love since he still has a lot of missed warmth abs care to catch up to from his lonely childhood. Causing him to be more disturbed enough to drop his usual sunshine side and turn more desperate can still happen easily. A few good examples would be right after Jiraiya died in which case he suddenly visited you out of the blue completely silent and not being all over you with visible excitement on his face. Instead he just fell into the arms of his darling the moment they opened the door and stayed in that position for a few long moments, clinging in a distraught manner onto them and begging silently for comfort. Another one of those moments would be if his darling thinks of him as a monster since he’s the jinchuriki in which case he’ll be incredibly hurt as well, though his delusions will let him believe that they must have heard bad rumors and if he won’t be able to convince them normally, he’ll resort to kidnapping.

🍜He’ll blame himself for this and it’ll push him over the cliff of self-destructive thinking if he nearly lost his darling. It just won’t stop playing in his head and what he could have done to prevent it from happening. He’ll never leave the hospital room you’re being nursed in, terrified that if he might leave for a single moment something might happen that will end your life for good and he’s already failed you once. It’s nearly impossible for Sakura, Shizune and Tsunade to convince him to take a break and sleep a bit to feel better, he starts neglecting his needs since the only thing he really cares about is you right now. It’ll be a literal catastrophe if he saw what happened, whether it was by some nature accident or caused by someone who attacked you. If this is the fault of a person they won’t even be able to say their last prayers because seeing you dying right then and there has him manifesting a few of his tails and whilst he will still subconsciously protect you, everyone else will be treated like a threat. Such an experience will scar him for life since he’ll always feel like it’s his fault, he grows far more sensitive to minor wounds and he swears to himself he’ll never leave the s/o again. Chances are that he grows more violent against others as well.

[hey-there-juliet]

Random Drabble Day (2/23)

Summary: First off, let me just say that this is more like a one-shot than a drabble because I'm a wordy bitch and I cannot control myself 😅

That said, I always had a hard time imagining Julie writing some of the Perfect Harmony's lyrics about herself, so I thought why not make this just another song that Luke and Julie wrote together? This is set somewhere between Finally Free and Edge of Great, in that week when Ray was stress-eating. This is supposed to fit back into the show at the end, so it might seem like a cliffhanger, but it's not.

Quick shout out to @jamestkirkish for betaing this for me! I love you and you are amazing! Any remaining mistakes are my own. And to the fabulous Sloan, for helping me out with Luke's handwriting! Enjoy 🧡

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Relationship: Juke 💜

in the great scheme of life and ghosts

No matter how many times Luke insisted that she had been snooping through his things, Julie knew for a fact that she had done no such thing. In reality, she had simply been cleaning the studio when she came across it.

For three ghosts who didn't eat and could barely even touch anything most of the time, the boys sure knew how to make a mess. Every morning Julie would walk into the studio to find the chairs or coffee table rearranged, at least one of the rugs was always askew, and the clothes... the clothes were everywhere, and the worst part was: they reeked. 

And so every morning before leaving for school Julie would shoot them a stern look and tell them to pick up after themselves. Which they did - when she got back home, things were mostly in their rightful place. Still, every weekend Julie would make sure to take a moment away from homework and rehearsal to tidy the place up to perfection, just like her mom liked it. She'd dust off the furniture, water the plants, sweep the floor, and even vacuum the whole place. One Saturday when she was home alone (her dad photographing a wedding, and Carlos at a friend's house), she even went through the trouble of washing all of the guys' old clothes. 

Somehow, and she didn't even want to think about how that worked, the clothes didn't stink when they were actually wearing them, but at any other moment when they made no contact with their skin? Yeah... not good. So she washed them all (three times, using every trick and product she had). She washed them a fourth time for good measure and, by the time she was finished, any traces of twenty-five year old mold was gone, and so was the smell.

So no, she was not snooping - no matter what Luke said - when she came across the crumpled paper ball between the couch and the low cabinet, just behind a big vase her mom had gotten from tía Victoria.

Julie sighed, making a mental note to tell Luke to put his discarded ideas in the bin (again) if he didn't want them anymore, when one scribbled and wrinkled word caught her attention: Perfect Ha-

She bit her lip, staring down at the teasing word. Perfect what? Was it lyrics? Maybe half formed ideas? Doodles? Julie knew Luke liked to doodle in the margins of his notebook whenever he got stuck trying to come up with the next best piece of lyric or melody. She also knew she should probably just leave it alone, put it with his stuff to ask him later if he wanted to keep it, or put it in the garbage. Except the more she glanced down at that damn word, the stronger she felt it pull her towards uncovering whatever else the crumpled paper ball was hiding. 

In the end, the pull was too strong. She'd just take a quick look, make sure it wasn't anything important before she threw it away. And, she reasoned with herself, trying to squish the guilt that was making itself known in the pit of her stomach: Luke had gotten rid of it, so he clearly didn't care much for whatever was in there. 

Not able to resist any longer, Julie carefully unfolded the paper, slowly making her way towards the piano and using its surface as a table to help smooth the page over.

Luke's (horrendous) handwriting covered it with the bare bones of a song, random lines were scribbled in the margins with a couple of doodles for company, and even a little note from their bassist - ‘Reggie was here ;)’.

It took her a minute before the chicken scratches became words, and then Julie's breath left her in a rush, as the guilty feeling in her stomach turned into butterflies and flew away with her imagination. 

It was a song, parts of one, anyway, and - more importantly - it was a love song.

Unprompted, her own words came back to her, "Wow, Luke! I didn't know you were such a romantic." Quickly followed by Alex's short reply, "He's not."

She knew now who Unsaid Emily was really about, but these new words were clearly about a different kind of love. The romantic kind, and Julie couldn't help letting herself believe - just for a moment - that the song might be about her.

Before she could let herself be carried away in a daydream, there was a - now familiar - shift in the air, a sound almost like static, the only thing letting her know of a ghost's appearance. Without a thought, she crumpled the page again and shoved the paper ball in her pocket for later inspection. 

"Hey, Julie!" Reggie's cheerful greeting sounded across the studio from where he had poofed in, and soon - with his "help," bless him - Julie was finished with her weekend clean up. 

As if summoned by the end of her chores, Luke poofed in, ready to rehearse. Alex soon followed; and by the time Julie retired for the night, the song had been almost forgotten where it hid inside her pocket. 

Almost.

***

After getting ready for the night, Julie settled on her bed with the wrinkled page and her dreambox. She read over the words again and again, imagining they were about her.

Step into my world, 

Bittersweet love story about a girl 

Shook me to the core 

Voice like an angel, 

I've never heard before, 

- 

You and me together, it's more than chemistry 

- 

Love me as I am 

I hold your music 

Here inside my hands 

- 

You are my brightest burning star 

- 

We create Perfect Harmony.

And unless Luke had been singing with another girl, there didn't seem to be many options on who it could be about, right?

From the beginning, Julie had felt something connecting her to him; to all of them, in different ways. But Luke had been the one to give her a little piece of his soul right after meeting her when he let her use Bright to earn back her spot in the music program. Seeing his passion reflecting back on her, the way he treated music like she used to, made her miss it more than anything for the first time in almost a year. It made her miss the way it felt to use music to connect with her mom.

After they spent a whole weekend finishing each other's songs and working on new ones, getting to know each other's inner workings - the part of them that bled out feelings into paper to create beautiful melodies, Julie knew she was a goner. Finding out he'd been the one to write the words that shaped her taste in rock certainly didn't help. Like he'd been helping her find her way to music long before they even met.

Her crush on him had been inevitable from the start, and while falling for him was probably one of the worst things she could’ve done, it was too late to stop it. She'd been free falling for a while, and hopefully she'd land in his arms soon enough. Reading over his words again gave Julie a warm fluttering in her stomach that made her think he was more than ready to catch her once she reached the ground. 

Carefully folding the piece of paper, she put it inside her dreambox, then placed the box back on the shelf.

***

The following week went by without any hiccups. Every once in a while, Julie would remember Luke's song and a familiar warmth would fill her up, leaving a soft smile on her lips and glazed eyes staring off at nothing. Just as often, Flynn would have to shake her out of her daydreams.

She didn't think much would come of it until her dad decided to throw the band a party so he could film them and post their video on YouTube. Which was fine. Amazing, even. It was most certainly great! Until Luke came to the school, staring at her with his stupid, beautiful, awed eyes, and with his soft, perfect smile, saying things that made her combust and melt, all at the same time.

"I think you make me a better writer." 

    "I think we make each other better."

Calling Nick 'Luke' was bad enough, but slipping into a complete musical sequence as she danced with him? "Goner" didn't even begin to describe her. 

Like the other times they'd written together, the lyrics flowed through her, finishing the song he'd started with the same ease as one would take a breath.

Julie knew that whatever was going on between her and Luke couldn't happen or, if it did, it couldn't last. In fact, in the great scheme of life and ghosts, she didn't know much, but what she did know was that - be it in life or in death - love was constant. 

He didn't need to have a heartbeat or to be able to touch her for her to love him. He was just as real to her as the next person, and whether it would hurt in the long run or not, it didn't matter. 

She knew Flynn was only looking out for her, but that ship had sailed, and Julie was already so lost in his ocean eyes that avoiding eye contact wasn't going to bring it back. She would entertain her though, even knowing it wouldn't work. Just like the tide, eventually he'd pull her right back in.

She could love him just as he was, for however long they had together, and especially after that.

-

End notes: I hope you guys enjoyed it! And, if you'll notice, at the beginning it kind of gives off the impression that Luke eventually finds out about the song and Julie tells him how she found it. Which may or may not lead you to believe that they're in a relationship. I guess it all depends on interpretation though ;)

Oh, also! Shout out to the chaos squad folks that guessed right! You guys are no fun :( /j lmao

[kholran]

"We Ship It Now" Anon (WeSIN? lol) has returned, please tell me as much more about Pool Noodle as you feel like. I'm so excited to see the fic but also thoughts!

Oh gosh, Anon, you are really spoiling me now!

So I've already gone into the convoluted thought process that gave me the idea in the first place, which led to Pyre, where this crazy ride starts.

But seeing as these two have been living in my brain rent-free for months at this point, I Have Thoughts. So here are some tidbits and headcanons (and if I contradict anything I've already written or will write, that's because my brain is run by squirrels and sometimes they like to make things up on the fly and then forget about them later).

Under a cut to spare your dashboards!

-Luo Que is the only person other than the two parties involved that has known about this relationship from day one. Kan Jian is a close second, because Luo Que is a secret gossip and told him all about it.

-Despite the rocky start, the two of them develop a very solid (and surprisingly healthy, considering their respective past trauma) relationship. It's long-distance at first, but in some ways that's really what they both need. Adjusting to being in a committed relationship (for the first time, in Liu Sang's case, and in a LONG time for Rishan) takes a while for both of them, and it probably wouldn't have lasted if they'd been all up in each others' business on a daily basis right away.

-Rishan is the cook in this relationship. It starts out with breakfast in bed whenever Liu Sang stays the night, but by the time they're essentially living together, it's both breakfast and dinner just about every day.

-On the topic of living together: Liu Sang moves to Beijing not long after getting his first big break in the tomb-raiding world (fic on this is about 2/3 done!) at Zhang Rishan's request. He keeps his own apartment, both for appearances' sake, and because actually LIVING together full-time is a huge step Liu Sang's not quite ready for at that point. But within three months, there are as many of Zhang Rishan's clothes in the closet as his own (and as many of Liu Sang's clothes in Rishan's closet at Xinyue Restaurant), there are two toothbrushes in the bathroom, and as long as neither one of them is out of town working, they share a bed every night.

-As mentioned in I Can Carry You, Liu Sang and Zhang Rishan share a love of trashy reality television. The more catty and petty, the better. After a long and trying day of dealing with Jiumen, there's nothing more relaxing than watching someone else's dumpster fire of a life and mocking them mercilessly for it.

-It takes more than a year for Liu Sang to think of Zhang Rishan as "Rishan", and a year and some months for him to actually call him "Rishan" to his face.

-Not long after that, Zhang Rishan gives Liu Sang Fo Ye's bracelet. In return, Liu Sang gives him the pendant he wears- the silver bead on a black cord. It's not flashy or valuable, but in terms of what it means to Liu Sang, it's priceless, because it's the only thing he has left of his master after her passing (I have an entire headcanon about the necklace but that's for another post...or maybe a one-shot...)

-That same year, Liu Sang goes with Zhang Rishan to Warehouse 11 on the anniversary of Fo Ye's death. It's the closest he's ever come to meeting someone's parents.

[superblizzarddrift]

Teething Problems

This one kinda wrote itself so thanks for the awesome prompt choice @hermanncodednewtboy​! (AO3 version here)

Hermann had been in the waiting room for nearly an hour when Newt finally shuffled in, one hand clutching an icepack to his jaw and the other holding the nurse’s arm.

‘Oh, good.’ He hurried over, struggling to hide his worry. ‘Newton, how are you feeling?’

Newt stared back at him with a look of betrayal. ‘They took my teeth, dude,’ he slurred.

‘Not all of them,’ the nurse said kindly, ‘just the ones that were causing you trouble.’

Newt had been complaining about his wisdom teeth for as long as Hermann had known him. “I’ll get it fixed when the apocalypse is over,” he’d insist whenever Hermann nagged him about it. Ten years later, the apocalypse was over and Newt was out of excuses.

‘Can we go home now?’ Newt let go of the nurse’s arm and latched onto Hermann like a dejected limpet. With a sigh, Hermann settled things with the nurse and listened to her instructions. It was a little hard to concentrate with Newt being so… affectionate. Judging by her smile, she noticed his blush.

It was dark outside. Mako waved from her car. ‘Did it go well?’ she asked as they clambered into the back.

‘No, it was bad,’ Newt muttered, clutching the icepack against his cheek. ‘Didn’t feel any of the teeth come out.’

‘That is a good thing, Newton.’ Hermann leaned over to buckle him in.

‘But I don’t know if they even did it!’

Mako laughed. ‘I’ll get you home.’

“Home” was still the Shatterdome for now, although clean-up had begun and pretty soon the K-Science division would be a thing of the past. Hermann never thought he’d miss that lab – or his annoying co-worker. As they turned a corner, Newt slumped against his shoulder. Hermann put an arm around him.

‘Had really cool dreams.’ Newt mumbled. ‘Each dentist was a different Kaiju…’

In the mirror, Mako’s eyes flicked up briefly before returning to the road. A Kaiju had taken her father, just as it had taken her family before it. He knew she was still grieving, in her own quiet way. ‘How many dentists were there?’ she asked, incredulously.

‘A family,’ Newt pronounced, eyes slipping closed. Without his glasses, he looked more vulnerable somehow. Hermann could see the line across his forehead where the stitches had recently healed, the yellow stain of a bruise on his cheekbone. He resisted the urge to comb his fingers through his messy hair.

Back at the Shatterdome, Mako helped Newt to walk up to his room. He wobbled along amiably enough, but when he started bumping into things Hermann quickly returned his glasses.

Outside his door, Newt fumbled through his pockets. ‘I… I can’t find my key. Maybe I left it inside…’

Hermann’s heart sank. Newt had changed his mind about going five times, until he’d had to almost drag him out the door. The key was probably inside his room.

Mako bit her lip. ‘You could borrow my room for the night? I’ve been sharing with Raleigh anyway.’ She blushed a little.

Hermann shook his head it. ‘Mako, you have done more than enough tonight. I’ll… I’ll take him to my quarters. It’s probably better if someone keeps an eye on him, anyway.’

Mako hesitated. 'Are you sure? I really don't mind...'

Newt looked to Hermann hopefully. 'Sleepover? Please?'

Oh, it was going to be a long night.

Mako followed them to Hermann's room then bid them goodnight.

'Take care, rock star,' she said fondly, with a wink at Newt.

'Mmm,' said Newt vaguely, eyes drifting closed.

Hermann ambled into his apartment, scanning for any litter or discarded underwear before remembering that he never left anything in his room out of place.

Newt sat down on Hermann's bed, groaned and promptly spat a mouthful of bloody gauze into his lap.

'Oh, for heaven's sake, Newton.' Hermann grabbed a handkerchief and cleaned up the mess.

'Hurts,' Newt said miserably, but held still as Hermann gently mopped the red saliva off his fingers and chin. 'Are you sure they took my teeth out?'

'I assure you that they took all four of your wisdom teeth, yes.'

'Where did they put them?' He stared at him tiredly, icepack pressed against his cheek again. 'They're my teeth. So I own them.'

'You can't keep them. If it's any consolation, you have plenty more.'

'But I had them for so long,' he whined, flopping down on Hermann's pillow. 'I saved the world with those teeth!'

With a sigh, Hermann patted his ankle. Sometimes he thought he could feel Newt’s emotions, like some residual effect of their Drift. Some mornings he woke up with a song in his head he'd never heard before. Like it or not, they were connected now.

Newt sighed softly as Hermann's hand found his shoulder. Hermann wasn't sure how it got there, but he couldn't bring himself to remove it. 'Get some rest,' he said finally. Newt did indeed seem to be dozing off, mumbling nonsense as Hermann relieved him of his glasses and shoes.

It would be hard to say goodbye to him, Hermann realised. At some point, their volatile relationship had morphed into something harder to define. He’d told himself it was merely co-dependency from working together for so long, but that didn’t account for their Drift. He’d been inside Newt’s head, and he knew that there was something there too.

Newt appeared to be asleep by the time Hermann draped the blanket over him, but then he stirred. 'I think I'm in love with you,' he said dreamily.

Hermann froze. 'It's only a blanket Newton, no need to be so dramatic.'

'You think I'm joking.' He looked so adorably sad, only his head visible above the blanket. 'You always think I'm joking when I say nice things. But I do love you.'

Hermann looked back at him, and for a moment they were standing together in the pouring rain, minds reeling from the Drift. ‘I – that’s very nice of you. Please try to get some sleep.’ He couldn’t tell him. Not now, when Newt probably wouldn’t remember it, and not when they’d most likely be on opposite sides of the world in a week or two. It was easier to remain detached. That was how he’d been able to do his work in the first place. No ties.

‘Where are you going?’ Newt asked in alarm as Hermann turned away. ‘Don’t go! I’m sorry!’

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said. ‘I’m going to sleep on the sofa.’ He barely used the battered old couch by the window, but it would suffice for tonight.

‘There’s enough room for two, you know.’ Newt patted the space beside him. ‘Your leg hurts, doesn’t it? I can feel it too.’

Indeed, Hermann’s leg had been throbbing for most of the walk back. He gaped at him. ‘You can?’

‘You’re so cute when you’re all uptight. Come on. Please?’

If they’d been in this situation a month ago, Hermann would have probably marched out and slept in Mako’s room. Perhaps a little bit of Newt had rubbed off on him in the Drift, because he found himself shrugging off his jacket, kicking off his shoes and climbing into bed beside him. He switched off the light. Now, only a faint glow came from under the door.

Newt curled up under the blanket, squishing his face into the pillow. ‘This is nice,’ he sighed.

Hermann dared to shuffle a little closer, not quite touching him but close enough to feel Newt’s warmth. ‘Yes, it is.’

There was an itch under his skin, a yearning. He didn’t want to say goodbye, not after all they’d been through. Would he still feel the effects of their Drift when they were far apart? What if Newt got into trouble somehow, would he feel his pain? His loneliness?

‘Newton,’ he said quietly, ‘I – I don’t want you to leave.’

Newt yawned. ‘I’m not leaving, I’m staying here.’

‘I don’t mean this room. I mean you. I don’t want to go back to sending letters.’

There was a silence so long that Hermann was sure Newt had gone to sleep. But then Newt shuffled over until his forehead rested on his shoulder. ‘I don’t want you to leave either.’

Relief flooded through him, so strong that he was sure Newt would feel it. ‘It’s settled, then,’ Hermann said calmly, though his heart was singing. ‘Wherever we go next, we shall go together.’

The bed rustled as Newt fidgeted, then there was a puff of air on his cheek as Newt sighed. ‘I can’t kiss you ‘cause my mouth hurts.’

‘You can’t kiss me because you are full of drugs, you silly man.’ But when Newt rested his head on his chest, he didn’t complain. The icepack dripped cold water onto Hermann’s shirt. ‘So, Doctor Geiszler.’ Fondly, he ran his fingers through Newt’s hair. ‘Was this experience better or worse than drifting with a Kaiju brain?'

‘Better, ‘cause I get cuddles. S’not as cool, though.’

Hermann smiled into the darkness. ‘Tell me about these Kaiju dreams you had?’

‘Well, one of them was Otachi, which was funny because she has wings so she couldn’t hold any of the tools…’ As Newt spoke, a warm contentedness seeped through the both of them. Hermann had no idea what was going to happen next, but all that mattered was they did it together.

He didn’t need the Drift to know that he loved Newt too.

[gay-otlc]

Perfect (Keefitz)

Summary: And yet... he can't shake the feeling that, if he wasn't a Vacker, if he wasn't stuck in the cage of perfection... he would love to be with Keefe.

That didn't matter. Whether he likes it or not, Fitz is in his cage of perfection, so he can't want Keefe.

He can't. Because he's perfect.

(Alternatively: 4.5K words of Keefitz angst and about 100 of Keefitz fl*ff)

Trigger warnings: Internalized homophobia, cursing

Words: 4352

(Read on AO3)

Fitz Vacker is perfect.

His friends call him Wonderboy, and that's for a reason. He knows they're making fun of him when they say it, but he can't help but feel the smallest glimmer of pride when he hears the nickname. Maybe a bit more than that. Yes, people are making fun of him for being perfect. That still means they see him as being perfect.

And that's good. That's exactly how he wants it to be.

No, he corrects himself- not how he wants it to be. How it is. People don't just see him as perfect- he is perfect. (Or so he tells himself. But is he, is he really perfect? Or is he just lying, trying to convince himself. Convince everyone else.) Wonderboy is at the top of his class. He's passable at Base Quest and actually quite good at Bramble. Even though his father doesn't approve of the hobby, his talent at baking is undeniable. Every girl at Foxfire is in agreement that he's handsome, with bronze skin, teal eyes, and a smile that makes all of them swoon.

(He doesn't care how many girls like him. He's never liked any of them.)

And Sophie. He's a key member of the Black Swan, and he's Sophie's cognate. They're cognates. And everyone expects them to be a couple.

He's supposed to love her. He can't.

They would be a perfect couple, if only he could feel what he was supposed to.

He can't.

The point is, Fitz is perfect. He's sunshine, blue skies. Flawless. Golden.

Fitz Vacker is perfect. And he can't shake the feeling that perfection is a cage.

---

Keefe Sencen is anything but perfect.

It's obvious from the very moment they meet. Keefe is too loud, too energetic, too obnoxious. He barely pays any attention in his classes and lands in detention every other day. Taking anything seriously seems to be impossible for him. Even his appearance, with messed up hair and the way he "forgets" his cape, reflect on his personality.

Alden disapproves immediately. Keefe would never be a good influence for Fitz, could get him in trouble, damage his reputation. Blah, blah, blah. He does make sense, too; Fitz is a Vacker, and he's the golden boy, so he can only be surrounded by the best. Which likely doesn't include Keefe. But after one conversation with that boy, he finds himself inviting him over to Everglen after school.

After that, they're inseparable, no matter what Alden says.

And Keefe is still far from perfect. He hides everything in jokes and spends too much time obviously crushing on Sophie. (A fact that gives Fitz a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He isn't sure why; maybe it would be weird if two of his best friends started dating?) Keefe's mom is part of the Neverseen and the council banished him to Exillium and he makes reckless decisions.

Odds are, Keefe is a ticking time bomb, and Fitz needs to get away. That's what his brain tells him to do. Then, Keefe tells him Lord Cassius's theory on head and heart emotions, and something clicks. In his head, he wants Keefe gone. In his heart, he needs Keefe to stay.

Shit, he thinks.

Keefe is anything but perfect. He's a hurricane, a natural disaster. Flawed. Broken glass.

Keefe Sencen is anything but perfect. And Fitz cares about Keefe way to much to ever let it come between them. Shit.

---

Fitz nearly dies once, a time most people have forgotten about. He remembers it perfectly.

It's soon after he, Sophie, Dex, Biana, and... Keefe, though Fitz doesn't yet know why he has the ellipses, run away to join the Black Swan in Allavuterre. When they break into Exile to visit Prentice, and the Council comes to stop them. It's the most stupid way to nearly die, but a giant bug stabs Fitz. An arthopleura, eight feet tall and full of poison, stabs him.

And he nearly dies.

Even though he doesn't have a photographic memory, the time plays out perfectly in his mind- everything suddenly aches, he can barely breathe and the world swims before his eyes. His brain feels foggy, clouded by the poison. Through the fog, he can only think of one thing. A name, that he clings to like a lifeline.

And it should be Sophie's name. It should be Sophie's name. He's usually perfect enough to keep control of his thoughts, make sure he wants the right thing and doesn't spend too much time ever longing for the wrong thing.

In his poisoned state, that sort of control is gone, and all he can think of is what he actually wants.

Keefe.

The name echoes in his mind, over and over. When he feels himself only at his last point of consciousness, Keefe's name is still repeating, but he doesn't remember what it means.

Who's Keefe? he thinks.

A memory tickles at the back of his mind. Keefe... he... I... I think I'm in love with him.

He gives into the poison, consciousness gone.

---

When he wakes up, his head still feels foggy and slow. Keefe's name is still there, and it doesn't take long for the rest of Fitz's memories to come slotting into place. I think I'm in love with him.

Where the fuck had that thought come from?

Fitz isn't in love with Keefe. He can't be. He isn't. Fitz is the perfect Vacker, the golden boy. He's going to marry someone on his match list that his father approves of, and then he's going to further the Vacker family name and not dishonor generations of Vackers before him. He'll continue being perfect, something that can't happen if he loves Keefe. Because Keefe is so far from perfect, nothing like anyone those generations of Vackers want him to marry. He's chaotic and disobedient and, well, a boy.

If Fitz is to be perfect, he can't like Keefe.

And he will be perfect.

No, he is.

---

His friends come in, full of concerns and well wishes. Keefe comes in carrying Mr. Snuggles, and thought he's laughing at Fitz, all Fitz can think about is how cute his laugh is, how Keefe hasn't smiled in so long and he's so happy that Keefe is happy. Keefe lights up Fitz's world, and after a bug-induced realization, Fitz notices that Keefe is... well, really hot.

Don't think about that.

Eventually, the rest of his friends leave, and Livvy gives him various elixirs. Della and Biana stay behind, but eventually, Livvy and Della have to talk about something, and he's left alone with Biana.

Biana smirks. "Does Fitzy have a crush?"

His face burns. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Please," she scoffs. "You've been making heart eyes ever since our friends came in. Spill."

"I don't- I'm not-"

"Fitz, you're a terrible liar. Come on, just admit you like Sophie."

Sophie. Yes, he likes Sophie. Sophie is the Moonlark, the most powerful elf; just who the perfect Vacker boy should like. She's pretty, and she's a girl, and she's just as perfect as he is. They're meant to be together.

---

"Yes," he lies. "Fine. I like Sophie. I realized it after almost dying. Happy now?"

"Very."

"But don't... don't tell her." Fitz knows that Sophie has a crush on him; no matter how hard she tries to keep it a secret, it's fairly obvious. He doesn't want her thinking that he likes her, though, because then they'd have to date, and he wouldn't like her. Well, he likes her a lot, but not like that. He likes her enough to not lead her on like that.

Biana gives him a strange look. "You know she likes you, right?"

Shit. Now he has to think of a lie, and as Biana pointed out, he's not good at lying. "I'm... I don't really want a relationship right now. While we're dealing with the Neverseen and all that. I kind of just want to wait, and I'm worried Sophie will take that as I don't like her."

He feels Biana's eyes on him for a long time, but she finally nods. "Makes sense. I'm gonna go... get some sleep, Fitz."

When she leaves, he feels like he can finally exhale. He was nearly caught with a crush on Keefe Sencen, of all people. He managed to lie and divert the attention to Sophie... but that was fucking hard.

It shouldn't be hard. He should forget all about Keefe right now, before he falls in deeper, and like Sophie instead. That's what he has to do, to be perfect again.

And yet... he can't shake the feeling that, if he wasn't a Vacker, if he wasn't stuck in the cage of perfection... he would love to be with Keefe.

That didn't matter. Whether he likes it or not, Fitz is in his cage of perfection, so he can't want Keefe.

He can't. Because he's perfect.

---

As the world continues on, with a mess of Neverseen attacks and near death experiences and drama with their friends, Keefe Sencen never fucking leaves Fitz's head. His stupid smirk and stupid Hair and stupid, stupidly imperfect beauty. He's so stupidly funny and caring and brilliant, and oh, Fitz is so stupidly in love.

It's infuriating.

And yes, he's well aware it's kind of an asshole move, but ever since he recovered from the bug stabbing incident and the feelings for Keefe didn't go away, he's been avoiding him. Every second he spends with Keefe makes him fall even deeper in love. And as he falls deeper in love, he comes closer and closer to falling off his throne.

He can't risk that.

Even strained conversations are difficult. Fitz feels something he can't name, a combination of fury and frustration and love bubbling up in his chest, and he sometimes thinks he'll explode if he doesn't scream it. I'm in love with Keefe. I'm in love with Keefe.

But he can't scream it. So he'll just have to stay away.

Keefe thinks he's jealous, that he and Sophie have something going on, because he thinks Fitz likes Sophie. Fitz is jealous whenever Keefe and Sophie are together, it's true. He wishes he were jealous of Keefe. It's safer to have him believe that. Safer to stay away.

It kills him.

But he can't have both Keefe and perfection, and he's chosen perfection.

---

The perfection he wants (this isn't what he wants, he wants Keefe, he's never wanted this) comes in the form of Sophie Elizabeth Foster and a walk through Everglen. They're discussing matchmaking, dangerous territory- and then the danger becomes real, tipping Fitz into the deep end of a conversation he'd rather avoid.

Sophie starts crying. He's not an idiot; he knows why.

Because she thinks he'll never like her.

(And she's right. He can't like her. He can't like girls.)

Before he can think it through, the words are out of his mouth: "I want it to be you," he blurts. "I want it to be you. On my match list." It's not a lie. He wants her on his match list, and him to be on hers, so they can be matched, and together... and, well, married, as horrifying as that thought is. Married to Sophie. Together for eternity.

(That sounds like a nightmare. He loves her, but not like that. The mere thought of spending eternity together feels like he's already trapped. Caged within perfection.)

He wants to want Sophie like that. And that means he wants her, right?

(He wants Keefe.)

This is what he wants, he reminds himself, as he leans towards her, ready to kiss. He'd never admit it to anyone, but when they're interrupted by Silveny, he's overwhelmingly relieved.

No he isn't.

This is what he wants.

---

He's relieved again when he and Sophie break up. And terrified. She was his safety net, and now, when he falls for Keefe, nothing is going to catch him. Then, he regrets feeling any bit of relief- what kind of boyfriend does that make him?

A gay one.

That's what he is, isn't he? He's not perfect. He's gay. And he thought it would go away. It hasn't. It isn't going to. He's gay, he's gay for Keefe Sencen, and he'll never be perfect. Never be fucking perfect. Unless he pushes the feelings down until he forgets about them. Unless he never tells anyone. Unless he bites his tongue and marries a woman and does everything exactly right. Never slips up. Convinces himself, and everyone else, that he's... normal.

Not just normal.

Perfect.

Fucking perfect.

His plans to repress all Keefe-related emotions fails horribly within a few days. Keefe, the fucking idiot, manages to get himself in a coma, and now Fitz doesn't know whether he'll wake up, and dammit, even ignoring Keefe was better than this. 

He just wants Keefe back, even if it'll be harder to be perfect.

---

The universe rewards him, the time he spends by Keefe's bedside whispering I'll stay away from him, I won't fall in love, I'll forget all about him, if he can stay alive works, or maybe it was just luck. Either way, Keefe is awake.

At first, he has no idea what to feel. Overwhelmingly happy, for one. It's hard to push that down.

He's your best friend. It's normal to feel happy about your best friend not dying. It's fine. This is fine. You're fine.

You're still perfect.

Then, everything spirals very quickly, and it turns out Keefe's mother- shit, Fitz hates her- has managed to ruin everything once again. Fantastic. Now Keefe is scared of himself, and if Fitz is being honest, he's a little scared... but then again, he was always scared of Keefe, wasn't he? Scared of how his laugh made Fitz feel like he'd won a million lusters and how he could be so imperfect yet so wonderful and how sometimes, Fitz thought maybe, it'd be worth it to not be perfect, as long as they could be together.

And scared of how he can't stop thinking about Keefe, so he buys flowers- fucking flowers- and goes to visit him at Elwin's house.

Elwin opens the door. He glances at Fitz, then the flowers, then Fitz again, and smiles knowingly. Fitz wants to shrink into a hole, knowing that Elwin knows- or even suspects- his secret, that he's so far from perfect. Elwin doesn't think of it as a bad thing, though. It's still terrifying. "Keefe is in his room," he says. Fitz nods, not trusting his voice, and walks up the stairs.

---

Keefe opens the door. "Elwin, I said I'd- you're not Elwin."

"Not unless something very confusing just happened, no," Fitz agrees.

"What are you doing here?"

Fitz swallows. "I came to check on you," he says. Then he holds out the flowers. "And to give you these." Keefe stares at the flowers for a long time, long enough to make Fitz extremely uneasy. Oh why did I do this, this was so stupid, Keefe thinks it's stupid, it obviously is, and now Elwin knows, or at least suspects, and maybe Keefe suspects too, and why am I such a fucking idiot? But Keefe takes the flowers eventually.

"Thanks."

The word is clipped, not particularly grateful, but Fitz lets his eyes meet Keefe's and he seems sincere. "No problem." Awkwardly, he shuffles his feet. "How are you?"

"I'm... I'm alright, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, if that's okay." When Fitz nods, Keefe gives a small smile. "How about you? I heard you and Foster broke up."

Truth be told, Fitz had nearly forgotten about that, which didn't bode well for his whole Yes, I definitely like girls act he was trying to do. "I'm... I think it was the right decision for us. Can I tell you a secret?" he blurts, the last sentence not planned. He hopes Keefe will say no, but of course he says yes, so Fitz swallows. "I don't think I ever liked her, really. I mean, I like her a lot. But not like that. Never like that. I've never liked a girl like that."

Instantly, Fitz regrets specifying a girl, but that was the only way to keep it truthful. Despite that, he regrets not lying as he watches Keefe connect the dots. "You like me, don't you?" Before Fitz can say anything, really even register the question, Keefe continues "It's not bad if you do. In fact, it's good, because I... I like you. A lot. Like that. So it's okay to tell me if you like me. And I promise I won't tell anyone unless you're alright with it."

Fitz nods. Almost in a whisper, he answers "I like you. I... I really like you, so much, so much it physically aches, but Keefe, I can't. You know I can't."

A look Fitz can't quite decipher comes over Keefe, a mixture of pain and anger and joy and... determination. "Tell me if you want me to stop," he whispers, before cupping Fitz's face. Even before their lips touch, Fitz knows it's so unlike the times he and Sophie almost kissed. This time, it feels exactly right.

It feels perfect.

That word, that fucking word, draws Fitz back abruptly away. "I can't," he repeats, taking a step back towards the door. Twists the doorknob. "I can't. I'm sorry, Keefe, but I can't."

Keefe nods. "I know. You have to be perfect." He doesn't sound angry; just resigned.

"I have to be perfect," Fitz agrees, and he leaves.

---

Once again, the world continues on. Keefe slowly begins trusting himself around other people again. Fitz still doesn't trust himself around Keefe. If they're too close for too long, he thinks he might just disregard everything and kiss him again. He thought it was hard before, but after he knows who fucking wonderful it is to kiss Keefe, it's nearly impossible. Keefe is like a drug, and Fitz has to do everything he can not to relapse.

So he stays away.

They fight the Neverseen a few more times. Nearly die once or twice. Elwin basically adopts Keefe. He and Sophie work to rebuild their trust as cognates, but it's hard, because now he's keeping such a big secret.

I never liked you.

I don't like girls.

I'm gay.

I like Keefe.

I kissed Keefe once.

He can't tell her any of that. Can't tell anyone. Keefe is the only person who knows, and even that is far too many people. He has to trust that Keefe won't tell anyone- though Keefe doesn't have as much to lose from it, it can't be good for him either. And Sophie... she's a really good friend, but he still... he can't. He just can't.

Even as their friendship repairs itself, they never date again. He's glad.

And disappointed.

Because he really needs a safety net, now more than ever.

---

Alden convinces him to get a match list, one without Sophie on it. One with a hundred girls, each one of them someone he can never love. Maybe he'll find one he likes well enough. And he can pretend to love her until he's convinced everyone, including himself. A new safety net.

A new mask of perfection.

He throws a Winnowing Gala then, mostly for the food. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to just eat the whole time. He has to dance with people, talk to them, hope to find some sort of spark. It never comes, of course. When he first met Keefe first, he knew that boy would be bad for him, but he couldn't stay away. Every moment talking to him felt like electricity. This is just... dull.

It's nearly torture.

Also, it's what the rest of his life is going to be like.

Fitz already knew perfection was a cage. He chose the cage instead of Keefe. Now he's living with the consequences. This was his choice, and he made his choice, but it's still... so hard. It feels like he's suffocating.

---

"I need some fresh air," he chokes out to the girl he's dancing with now. He can't even remember her name. She's nice, but nothing like Keefe. All of these girls blend together, because none of them are Keefe, and he's too focused on surviving the next few hours to concentrate on any of them.

Without waiting to here her response, he stumbles outside.

"Fitz?" a voice asks. He groans. Keefe. Why did it have to be Keefe?

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too. I came to pine as you chose a girl to marry, of course. Didn't expect you to come outside."

Fitz groans, burying his head in his hands. "Sorry to snap at you. I just..."

"You hate this. You hate this so much."

"How do you know?"

"Empath. Also, I know you," Keefe says. Fitz sighs. They fall silent for a long time, but finally, Keefe speaks again. "I still... I can't stop thinking about the kiss. It feels like forever ago, and I still sometimes feel your lips on mine like some sort of phantom. All I can do is think about kissing you again. I really want to kiss you again. I... I really want you." He takes a breath, then resumes, cutting off whatever Fitz was about to say. "But I know. You can't. I understand."

"I... it doesn't feel like I can. At all. But..." Fitz took a deep breath, gesturing at Everglen. "I can't do this either. I can't keep doing this, pretending to be perfect."

Keefe tilted his head to the side. "Fitz?"

"I'm done pretending," Fitz said, and he kissed Keefe once again.

Perfect.

---

When they finally separate, Keefe's ice blue eyes are wide, pupils dilated. "That was... incredible." He touches his fingers to his lips, never taking his eyes off Fitz. Fitz can't see himself, but he's sure he looks just as lovestruck. He's wanted this for years, and finally, finally...

"I want to tell people," Fitz says, his own voice sounding foreign to his ears. He didn't plan to say that, but repeats it. "I want to tell people about... about us."

"You know there's no going back after that," Keefe says, the beautiful smile on his face widening anyway.

Fitz nods. "I know. I don't want to go back. I told you, I'm done pretending."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." He pauses. "Unless you don't want to?"

After a quick kiss that makes little fireworks go off in Fitz's head, he smiles again and says "No, I want to. Do you know what you're going to say?" Fitz shakes his head. "Just making it up as you go along. That works. Honestly, the best way to do things. Can I come in with you?" In response, Fitz takes Keefe's hand in his and squeezes it. "Great. Let's go."

With every step Fitz takes, he knows his time being perfect is running out. He's never been happier.

---

"I want to thank you all for coming tonight," Fitz says, waiting for the room to fall silent from the talking and laughing and music. While he waits, his eyes meet Keefe's. His boyfriend's. Keefe smiles, and he gives a tentative smile in return. His stomach flips with anxiety, and doubts of Do I really want to do this? start to creep back in. He briefly closes his eyes and lets the memory of the kiss wash over him, and it's the only thing to get them to go away.

Distantly, he hears a girl whisper-scream "Is he about to propose to someone?"

He clears his throat and continues. "I've really enjoyed getting to speak of all of you and get to know you. Unfortunately..." he swallows. "None of you... my perfect match. There's nothing wrong with any of you, and if I could be attracted to any of you, I would have some good options to choose from. But... I'm not attracted to girls. Any girls. At all."

Behind him, he hears his father hissing "Fitz, what are you doing?"

"Let him finish," his mom murmurs, voice low.

After letting his eyes drift back to Keefe, he takes a deep breath and blurts it out to the entire room. It's been bubbling up in him for so long, with no one knowing, and by tomorrow, everyone in the Lost Cities will know. That's terrifying. But strangely liberating. No more pretending. "I'm gay."

"Fitzroy," his father snaps, instantly. "Stop talking at once."

"No."

"Fitzroy Avery Vacker-"

"No," Fitz repeats, meeting Alden's eyes and ignoring every voice of wisdom telling him to look away. "No. I'm done pretending. And I'm done being perfect. I'm gay, and I'm in love with Keefe, and you're just going to have to fucking deal with that."

---

Without waiting for a response, he turns and walks over to Keefe, collapsing into a hug. "I'm proud of you," he hears in a whisper.

"That was terrifying," he breathes.

"I know. But it's going to be okay."

Fitz tangles his hands in Keefe's stupidly beautiful hair and meets their lips in another earth shattering kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, Wonderboy."

Things won't ever be perfect again. Alden and Della divorce, and though neither of them says it, Fitz knows it's his fault. Keefe's father is furious, which he knows upsets Keefe even though he lives with Elwin now. Some elves are supportive, and some even come out after Fitz- including Sophie and Biana, who have apparently been dating for months- but other elves whisper about the gay Vacker boy, and how unfortunate it is for the family. The Council has been arguing for months about whether or not Fitz should be allowed to be matched with Keefe. Fighting the Neverseen is still a necessity, and they keep getting hurt.

Things won't ever be perfect again. Fitz won't be "perfect" again.

But it doesn't matter whether he's perfect. He's happy.