#the physics aren’t perfect but I had a lot of fun with them

[unordinary-diary]

Arlo’s Ability Potential

Arlo could actually be so fucking OP and I’m not kidding.

In my last entry, I mentioned that Arlo could do so much more with his ability: things ranging from very unlikely to happen in the story, to things that are foreshadowed enough that I genuinely think he’ll be getting a powerup soon.

I’m gonna start with the most reasonable stuff and then wander out into speculation.

First of all: Disks. Do y’all remember Lennon from episode 196-ish?

^ this fucker.

Currently, Arlo’s fighting style is to put up a strong barrier around himself, and watch his enemies hurt themselves with their own recoil damage. His only offensive technique is to put his enemy in a barrier and make it smaller. Now, this has changed in recent chapters, with him developing that softer kind of barrier that he hits people with like a shockwave, but ultimately, his offensive power isn’t very diverse.

However, Lennon up there^ uses his disks in many ways.

He throws them, they’re very sharp, he can use them to fly, and therefore attack from the air. Blyke had a LOT of trouble against this guy.

How is this relevant? Because Arlo can make these disks too.

When Sera, Leilah and Arlo are fighting Spectre agents under the dampener, Arlo conjures one of these disks as a substitute for his usual barrier.

Not only do we know that he can make these, we know that they are significantly easier for him to make and maintain. So, in theory, Arlo should be able to do all of the things Lennon can and more.

With him currently being able to make three regular barriers at once, how many disks could he make? And how many disks could he make while having a full barrier up? I imagine that the future holds lots of fights against large groups of people, so Arlo learning these techniques would be extremely convenient and very well-timed. Especially since being able to attack from the air is super effective against opponents who can’t fly (which is most of them let’s be real) since they usually can’t hit back.

But there’s more things that I think these disks can do.

Imagine him practicing with a ball—

Pick it up, bounce it up and down.

Add another disk, make it ping-pong.

but he could also just put the ball in a regular barrier and just... move it around. Move that sucker to a different location.

he could pick the ball up, carry it really high, then drop it.

Now imagine the ball is a person.

... yeah.

but there’s more that he could do.

say that someone is coming at him with enough strength to break his barrier

If aimed right, the opponent shouldn’t hit the third barrier head on, but rather at an angle. The angle should be enough to prevent the barrier breaking, but still cause significant recoil damage. In this particular scenario, the recoil damage will go straight to the head and neck, using all their force against them. Depending on how much force is coming at him, the third barrier could still break, but it isn’t his main line of defense at least. With practice, Arlo should be able to use disks to divert attacks, and control where his opponent aims. The only person this wouldn’t work against is probably Seraphina bc Arlo can’t react in time.

Another thing to consider is: how small can he make the disks? Could he make little shurikens? If so, would making them very small allow him to make more? Could he stand behind his full barrier, while sending out a flurry of tiny chakrams? And if so, wouldn’t that be dope as fuck? Especially against a large crowd.

And since, in theory, he should be able to fly, he should also be able to make other people fly. Imagine all of them flying on top of a disk with Blyke and Isen loudly singing I Can Show You the World. I see zero reasons why this can’t happen.

Moving away from disks, Arlo should start filling his barrier with stuff. Now, we rarely see characters weaponizing things that aren’t abilities or their bare hands, but it does happen. This is where the idea of water balloons comes in. Fill that sucker in the sink, throw it, then pop it whenever he wants to.

But it’s not just water, he could put anything in there. He could put a shit ton of glitter. He could put sewing needles, caltrops, a big rock, anything. He could probably even put a barrier over his stove, gather steam, compress that shit and make smoke bombs!

But enough with that bitch baby shit.

What about chemicals?

Make water balloons but instead of water it’s hydroflouric acid. Or fill that shit with liquid nitrogen. Make smoke bombs but instead of steam it’s mustard gas— he and his friends will be protected inside a full barrier. There is any number of chemical weapons he could use, and some gases could even be made at home by mixing the wrong cleaning materials.

But what about insects? Go to the woods, find a beehive and yoink that shit.

The main problem with the “putting things in barriers” idea is that he’d have to prepare ahead of time, and keep those barriers up and his ability active until he uses them. That means it isn’t useful unless he knows the fight is gonna happen, and has enough time to prepare before it, but not so much time that he loses energy keeping them up. It’s also not useful if he wants to be non threatening at first, because his ability will need to be active. And also, unlike other weapons, A lot of these can’t be stored. He has to use all of them before the end of the fight— especially since gases can’t be released without using them. So, not very convenient or practical most of the time, but it would be super cool and effective in certain circumstances.

The next unlikely technique for Arlo to develop is vacuums. Arlo could make a really tiny, spherical barrier. Airtight. EXPAND that sucker. Make it real big- a near vacuum inside. Then make a tiny hole in it. Depending the size, that could create some insane suction. Suction is something so versatile that it could actually be a whole ability in its own right. That’s a whole ass mid tier added to Arlo’s already dope skill set. Possibly more.

Seriously, just think about suction for a second. You could bring anything close to you— Arlo actually has an easier method of telekinesis as we’ve gone over, but still— you could probably break and bend things with enough force, divert an attack by sucking it, or your opponent’s body in a different direction, you could cause some severe damage by sucking directly on someone’s skin. (I’m trying so fucking hard not to make a sex joke oh my god)

Here’s where Arlo’s capabilities get… gruesome.

My brother suggested that he could suck someone’s brain out through their skull. I was incredulous, but with enough force and with the tiny suction hole placed on an eye or nose, he definitely could.

But there’s an easier method of killing right there: put the vacuum over someone’s head. It doesn’t have to be an intense enough vacuum to explode their head (it could be though), just enough to suffocate them. Even without killing, suffocation could be used for intimidation or to knock them out.

But if we ARE killing… Arlo could put someone’s whole body in a vacuum and have the same effect as throwing them into space. They explode, their blood boils, it’s fuckin freaky what happens when a person depressurizes.

Even without a vacuum, (or any of these, really) it’s a good thing Arlo isn’t willing to kill because there are about a million ways he easily could.

The question that inspired the whole idea of a vacuum to begin with is: could Arlo make a barrier inside of someone, then expand it? The answer? Probably yes.

This gruesome shit is the reason I imagine Arlo at his full potential to be like… a villain au. Also because having an OP villain doesn’t have the same narrative pitfalls as an OP protagonist.

What’s Arlo’s range like? Could he expand his range with practice? How far out could he shoot a disk? Could he puncture the hull of an empire class battle ship leaving thousands to drown at sea? You know, because it’s so sharp?

Seriously though, could he take down airplanes?

Making barriers bigger or smaller doesn’t seem to affect his energy at all, considering that he never has to shrink it to save energy even when it would make sense (like with the dampener— Arlo just warned that he couldn’t keep it up, then took it down and switched straight to a disk even though there was plenty room to shrink it). So if the size of it doesn’t matter, then how big could he make it? Could he make Atlantis? Pick up a city and put it underwater with a barrier as an air dome? Could he make a dome around the earth and block meteors? Could he crush the core of the earth and blow up the planet if he wanted to??

Sadly, the answer to all of those questions is “probably not”.

Arlo is already super OP, they don’t call it a god tier for nothing. But he could be so much more godlike. I know I got really crazy at the end there, but back up just a little bit and he could realistically be a god among gods with just a little creativity. Especially at the top where the images are. Most of this stuff would not be hard.

[gothcsz]

Worst Behavior | Secret Service Agent!Javier Peña x Fem!Reader | ~6.1k wc | Explicit. Minors DNI.

Summary: Tired of living in the confines of being the President's daughter— you sneak out, only to be caught by the head of your security, Javier Peña.

Tags: smut, age gap (reader is in her early 20s/javier is in his 40s), mean!javi i think, hurt/no comfort?, unprotected p in v sex (be safe), creampie, oral (m receiving), cock worship (i need to suck this man off), fingering, degrading names (slut, whore), semi-public sex (a car in the alleyway because i'm incapable of writing bedroom sex scenes apparently), infidelity (javi is married to lorraine in this au), dubcon (reader is drunk throughout this), no use of y/n, no physical descriptions, if it gets redundant it's because i wrote this at 4 am, other shit i’m probably forgetting.

A/N: secret service counts as bodyguard, right? right! this is for @auteurdelabre's amazing trope off with the trope i chose being, well, bodyguard 🖤 i had a lot of fun writing this, rip brat summer you will be missed! let me know what you think besties, i hope you guys enjoy! 🖤

The garden party is just like all the others—stuffy, overly formal, and dreadfully boring.

Crisp white tablecloths, lavish floral arrangements, and people so proper they could break under the weight of their own fake smiles. You sit there, listening to the endless parade of politicians and diplomats, watching them laugh at jokes that aren’t funny, and nod through speeches about policies that barely concern you.

You hate it. All of it. The politics, the empty pleasantries, the way people look at you like you’re a porcelain doll who must be carefully handled. But tonight’s different. 

Tonight, you have a plan.

Feigning a headache? Easy. You’ve been doing it for years, perfecting the art of slipping away unnoticed. You even relish the concerned whispers, the fake sympathy in their eyes. 

She can’t even handle a small gathering. Poor thing.

The moment you’re out of sight, the act drops. The tension releases, and your heart races, not from anxiety but from excitement.

You time your bathroom trip perfectly, ducking out of the guest quarters and navigating through the mansion’s less-frequented hallways.

Slipping past the Secret Service isn’t easy, but you’ve learned the gaps in their routine, the places they don’t check. It takes skill, but tonight, you’ve got it.

You’re free.

The rush of adrenaline is intoxicating. It feels foreign, but oh so thrilling, like the first breath of fresh air after being stifled for too long. You aren’t just her anymore— not the perfect girl with the pressure of a nation’s eyes on you, not the symbol of a legacy you never wanted.

You’re just a girl. You’re you.

The club hits you like a shock to the system, but it’s exactly what you crave. The air is thick with heat and bodies, the music pounding so loudly it thrums through your bones, syncing with the beat of your heart. It’s the opposite of everything your life has been—raw, chaotic, real. You feel the tightness of the dress hugging your body, a deliberate rebellion against the prim, conservative outfits you’re usually forced to wear.

There’s nothing modest about this. It clings to every curve, drawing eyes. 

The alcohol hits fast, warm and buzzing, setting your blood on fire and sharpening your senses. You raise your arms, let the music take you. Let it drown out the noise in your head— the expectations, the responsibilities, the endless duties.

Your date’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer. His fingers dig in just enough for you to feel anchored, his breath warm against your neck. You lean back into him, letting the heat of his body and the thrum of the bass take you somewhere far away from reality.

You aren’t the girl born with a silver spoon shoved down her throat, suffocating in the luxury you never asked for. No cameras, no protocols, no rules. Just you, him, and the music.

His hands are everywhere, gliding over your hips, fingertips brushing the hem of your barely-there dress. His lips press against your neck, and you let your head fall back, enjoying yourself for the first time in forever.

Everything feels hazy, dreamlike. His mouth moves to your ear, the scrape of his breath sending shivers down your spine, whispering something about sneaking off to the bathroom.

The idea is scandalous and that alone makes you want to indulge it even more. You close your eyes, swaying with him, floating.

The world outside of this moment feels so far away. You don’t even notice the man cutting through the crowd, coming straight toward you.

Not until a large, strong hand clamps down around your arm and yanks you out of your date’s grasp.

You gasp, eyes snapping open, and spin around, blinking against the blur of neon lights, your heart jumping into your throat. Your gaze lifts and you see him— Javier Peña. Oh, shit.

You immediately recognize the stern, commanding face, dark eyes sharp even in the low light of the club. He’s the head of your security, the one you juked earlier when you slipped away from the garden party.

And the look he’s giving you right now? It’s killer. Could easily send you to an early grave.

His brows are furrowed in a deep frown, lips set in a tight line, his usual stoic expression sharpened by the flashing lights around you. His jaw is clenched so hard, you’re afraid he’s going to dislocate it. His eyes are darker than you’ve ever seen them, burning with barely restrained fury.

You’ve been in trouble before, but this? This is something else.

“Hey, man, what the fuck is your problem?” Your date yells, trying to stand his ground, though his voice wavers a bit as he raises it above the music. For a second, you think he might actually try to do something.

Javier straightens up, his broad shoulders squared, chest puffing out, and it’s like watching a lion preparing to pounce. The guy you’re with, barely older than you, tries to hold his own, but as Javier towers over him, something in your date just... crumbles. The bravado slips from his face so quickly.

“I’d suggest you get the fuck away from her,” Javier growls, his voice low and deadly, “before I have the SWAT team outside drag your sorry ass to federal prison.” His words cut through the air like a knife, and even in the middle of the pounding music, the threat hangs heavy.

Your date’s eyes go wide, panic flickering across his face as he stumbles back. There’s no arguing with a man like that.

The guy might have been cocky a minute ago, but he’s not stupid.

He takes one last glance at you, like he’s weighing his options, but it’s clear he’s already made up his mind. Without another word, he’s scrambling away, blending into the crowd.

The people around you keep dancing, completely oblivious to the scene that just played out. But your heart is still pounding in your chest, your arm tingling where Javier’s grip lingers, and you can feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.

You glance up at him, breathless, and he looks back at you, his jaw still tight, eyes still stormy. God, he’s intense. And somehow, that only makes the heat between you burn hotter.

He’s livid. You don’t need words to understand that. 

“Peña—” you start, trying to find your voice, but it falters under the intensity of his glare. You’re used to seeing him calm, collected, the perfect professional.

That damn RJF— Resting Javi Face, as you’ve coined it. He never breaks, no matter how much you’ve tried to mess with him in the past.

You’ve spent years teasing him, trying to crack his cool exterior, just to see him react, to get something more than that unwavering stone face. But he never gives you more than the occasional twitch of his jaw, a flick of his brow. 

Until now.

Seeing him like this, thoroughly pissed off, stirs something deep inside you, something that’s both thrilling and dangerous. You can’t help the way your heart skips or how your skin flushes beneath his grip.

You’ve always found him damn near irresistible— ever since the moment you first laid eyes on him when your mom reworked your security detail. He became your personal heartthrob, eye candy for the days when you were stuck inside the house, surrounded by guards and endless rules. 

You’d never act on it, though. Especially since he’s married, that much you know by the golden band that wraps around his ring finger.

However, the way he’s looking at you now, with those smoldering eyes, is doing something to you. More than just a flutter in your chest. Anticipation pools at the base of your spine, and— damn— you’re definitely feeling it between your thighs.

He’s clearly ready to drag you back to the mansion and lock you up for good. 

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” His voice is gravelly and laced with a level of frustration that almost makes you moan. He leans down, his face inches from yours, and you can smell the faint scent of his cologne mixing with the alcohol-soaked air. It’s dizzying. “I’ve been looking for you for hours.”

The accusation in his tone is unmistakable, but you can’t help the smirk that curls at the corner of your lips. The alcohol you’ve consumed gives you some hardcore liquid courage. “Found me now, didn’t you?”

His eyes flash with something you can’t quite read— anger, annoyance. He takes a step closer, his chest brushing against yours. You’re buzzing all over, and you’re not sure if it’s because you’re in trouble, or because the way his presence towers over you is doing things to you that no man has ever done before. 

“You think this is a game?” His voice drops lower, a dangerous edge to it that sends a delicious thrill through your body.

It feels like the music has been put on mute with the way you can hear him so clearly.

You’d definitely pass out if not for how bad you want him.

His fingers tense just a little more around your arm, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you that you’re under his reign right now. 

“I didn’t—” you start, but the words die in your throat when he leans in even closer, his breath hot against your ear.

“Let’s fucking go” His tone is final, commanding, and it leaves no room for argument. You can’t help but want to push him a little more.

You bite your lip, feeling the pulse of desire starting its familiar beat against your clit.

“Make me.”

The way he yanks you through the sea of sweaty bodies has you stumbling, your heels wobbling beneath you as a surprised yelp escapes your lips.

The liquor in your system makes it all a blur— the music returns all at once and it jump scares you back to your surroundings; lights flashing, then suddenly, you’re outside in the cool night air.

The alley is dark and quiet compared to the chaos inside the building, the only sound now the distant bass reverberating through the walls. His government issued black SUV sits nearby, its tinted windows gleaming under the dim streetlights.

So no SWAT team? Figures, he probably just said that to scare your date away.

He finally lets go of your arm, and you pull away sharply, rubbing the spot where his grip lingered a little too tight.

“I’m not leaving,” you declare, lifting your chin defiantly. You plant your stiletto clad feet, standing your ground, even though the alcohol is still buzzing through your veins, making everything feel unsteady but bold. 

Javier lets out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head as he scratches his jaw. His hands settle on his narrow waist, the standard suit and tie he’s always in, making him look even more handsome.

“You’re not leaving?” he repeats, as if testing the absurdity of your statement. He arches a brow, his lips curling in a sarcastic smirk. “You think this is a negotiation? Because I can assure you, it’s not.”

You cross your arms over your chest, the dress clinging to your skin like a second layer, you can damn near see your heartbeat through the material as you lock eyes with him. “I’m tired of always following someone else’s schedule. Living in my mother’s shadow, doing what I’m told, when I’m told. You don’t get it, Peña. You have no idea what it’s like to have every aspect of your life controlled by someone else.” You can’t help but ramble, tongue loose, “I never get a damn second to myself, to do anything I want!” Your voice rises with each word, frustration boiling over, the alcohol making you bolder than you’d normally be. “So, no. I’m staying right here and enjoying my night out.”

Javier’s smirk disappears, replaced by a hard, unyielding stare. His brown eyes remain dark and guarded, the nearby orange street light casting shadows across his chiseled face. “You’re acting like a spoiled brat,” he says flatly. “This is the life you’re stuck with until your mother is out of office. It’s not about what you want. You think you can just sneak away because it’s inconvenient? Because it’s hard?”

You scoff, rolling your eyes, swaying slightly. “Easy for you to say, standing there in your perfect little suit, playing agent while I drown every day under the pressure of expectations I never asked for.”

Javier’s jaw flexes. “It could be a whole lot worse. You don’t like it? Too bad. Your mother doesn’t even know you’ve snuck out, and I’m not about to let her find out. I need to get you sober and back to the White House before she realizes you’re missing.” His tone is final, like he’s already made up his mind.

You step forward, eyes flashing with rebellion. “Or,” you play right into his hands, switching up entirely. A slow, deliberate, small smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth.

His eyes narrow as he watches you approach, hands still at his waist. 

You trail a finger along the edge of his tie, tugging it gently, testing his reaction. He swallows harshly, throat twitching at the action. “Why don’t we both stay? Let loose and have some fun,” you purr, low and teasing, fluttering your eyes as you look up at him. “We could both use a night off.”

He grits his teeth and pulls back slightly, but not enough to break the moment. “Don’t,” he warns, tone laden with something that sounds a lot less like anger and more like desire. “You’re drunk. This isn’t happening.”

“Am I?” You are, obviously. “Or are you just afraid that you’ll like it?” You challenge him, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“What’s the matter, Javier? Is your wife not fulfilling her duties at home? Is that why you’re obsessed with me?”

That strikes a nerve. “Enough,” he growls, voice strained and mean. You don’t give a single fuck, leaning in even closer, your lips ghosting over his jaw. His breath is ragged now, hand twitching at his side, as if he’s debating whether to push you away or pull you closer.

You don’t care that this is dangerous, that it’s wrong. All you care about is the way he’s looking at you now, like he’s been holding back for far too long. And maybe, just maybe, tonight is the night he listens to that voice in his head that’s been craving you all along.

“You’re not pushing me away…” you whisper, “Which makes me think that I’m right about your wife.”

The moment the words leave your mouth, you feel him tense up. The thrill of his reaction is like electricity.

His silence only emboldens you, makes you lean in closer, lips brushing against his ear as you stand on the tips of your toes. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head, the conflict, the desire.

“So why don’t we just fuck?” you say it so bluntly, it almost sobers you up. Your lips are so close to his that you can almost taste him. The small hairs of his mustache tickle your cupid’s bow. “Get it over with. Scratch the itch.”

His hand shoots up, holding your jaw, stopping you in your tracks. His grip is tight, making you wince as his fingers dig into your cheeks.

His eyes carry a storm, filled with the kind of hunger you’ve been dying to see from him.

“You really do think this is a game, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

He moves quickly, using the hold on your face to pull you in for a bruising kiss. It’s not soft or gentle— it’s hungry, desperate, all teeth and tongue as he devours you.

His lips are adamant against yours, rough from the way he’s been biting them in frustration. You can taste the desperation, the pent-up desire.

You kiss him back just as fiercely, your body pressing into his, hands fisting in the front of his suit jacket as you pull him closer. There’s no space between you, no hesitation left. You whimper against his mouth, head spinning from the alcohol still pulsing through your veins and the way his hands have found your waist, gripping you tight.

He pulls away just long enough to breathe, his forehead pressing against yours. “You’re out of your damn mind,” he mutters, but even as he says it, his hands are pulling you in again, pressing your hips against his as if he can’t stop himself.

His eyes are wild now, the usual cool detachment replaced with a recklessness that matches yours.

“And you’re loving every second of it,” you murmur back, your lips already brushing against his again, teasing him, daring him to take more.

Javier growls deep in his throat, and suddenly, he’s spinning then guiding you toward the SUV. You stumble backward, your heels clicking against the pavement, barely able to keep up with his pace yet again. 

He pushes you up against the side of the vehicle, your back hitting the cool metal with a soft thud. The contrast between the cold steel and his burning touch sends shivers down your spine. And then his mouth is on yours again, harder this time, his body pressing you into the car, his hands roaming over your curves like he’s been starving for this.

Your fingers card through his hair as you pull him closer, wanting more, needing more. His lips trail down your neck, his stubble scraping against your softness. He nips at the sensitive skin just below your ear, making you gasp.

You arch against him, body responding to every rough touch and kiss. His hands fall over the fabric of your dress, tugging at the hem, sliding it up your thigh.

“Fucking with me all the time just to get me to react,” his fingers press firmly against your clit, teasing through the thin fabric of your panties. The sensation has you whimpering, your head falling back against the metal.

“Then sneaking out like this. I could lose my job over your carelessness.” His teeth sink into your neck, sharp and punishing, making you gasp in surprise, your nails digging into his shoulders.

“But no,” he hisses, his words dripping with contempt as he presses harder, fingers circling your clit in a way that makes your knees weak, hooking one of your legs up on his waist to spread you open further for him “the perfect princess doesn’t give a fuck. She’s too busy whining about being taken care of.” His free hand yanks at your panties, and the flimsy fabric gives way with a harsh tear, leaving you exposed.

The sudden rush of cool air against your hot skin is nothing compared to the feel of his calloused fingers returning to your pussy, spreading the wetness around before plunging two fingers inside you roughly.

The stretch is intense, and you moan loudly, cunt squeezing around his fingers as he works you with a rough precision, like he knows exactly how to break you down.

“You talk a lot for someone who’s fucking a woman half your age,” you bite out, but the words are weak, caught somewhere between a challenge and a plea.

You’re playing a dangerous move here, but the power struggle between you and him is addictive, like a live wire sizzling between you both.

He stops suddenly, fingers still inside you, pulling back just enough to meet your gaze. His expression is dark, dangerous, and filled with something primal. His free hand comes up to wrap around your neck, the cool band of his ring against your heated skin sends a shock through you, and you narrow your eyes at him, daring him to make his next move.

“Tired of you runnin’ that fucking mouth,” he grunts, tightening his grip on your throat just enough to make your breath hitch. With his other hand, he undoes his belt, the gentle clink of metal the only warning you get before he’s pushing you down roughly to your knees.

Your eyes widen as you look up at him, your heart racing. “Here?” you whisper, your voice breathy, equal parts shocked and exhilarated.

Javier tilts his head, a mocking smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he strokes himself, his cock heavy and girthy in his hand. “So now you care?” His tone is patronizing, but his eyes are filled with a hunger that makes your pulse quicken. You bite your lip as your gaze drifts lower, unable to stop yourself from taking in the sheer size of him, the pressure between your thighs building to an unreachable height.

Without another word, he brings you closer by the back of your neck, and your mouth parts instinctively. Your tongue swirls around the spongy tip, tasting the salty slickness of his precome. His fingers dig into your scalp as he guides your movements, but it doesn’t take long for his hips to start thrusting forward, fucking your mouth with no patience, no hesitation.

The pace is brutal, your throat burning as he pushes deeper. His thighs twitch ever so often and you can feel the tension in his body, the way he’s holding back just enough to not completely unravel.

Saliva dribbles from the corners of your mouth, tears streaming down your cheeks and smudging your perfectly applied makeup as you suck him off with desperation.

Your knees ache from grinding against the rough pavement, but the pain is nothing compared to the mess in your cunt, the need building with every rough move. 

“Who would’ve thought you could be such a slut,” Javier grunts, his hand gripping the back of your head, keeping you in place. His words are condescending, each syllable dripping with lust.

He pulls you off his cock, a string of spit connecting your lips to his flushed head. “You look so fuckin’ filthy like this,” a cruel smirk is on his lips as he directs your mouth lower, pressing your face against his balls. 

Now drunk on him— on the power he’s holding over you, on the taste of him filling your senses— you eagerly obey, your tongue darting out to trace his heavy sack. You moan as you take each one into your mouth, suckling gently, savoring the weight and the taste of him. His low groan above you is all the encouragement you need to keep going, your lips moving greedily as you continue to worship him with no hands.

“Fuck,” he breathes, the rough sound of his voice sending a shiver down your spine. “Had I known you were this good at sucking dick, I would’ve fucked that pretty little throat ages ago.”

His words spur you on, making you feel powerful, wanted, as though you’re giving him something he’s been missing. Something his wife can’t provide. The thought stirs something dark inside of you, a thrill that mixes with the burning in your pussy as you take him back into your mouth, deep-throating him in one smooth motion.

Your palm finally reaches up, fondling his balls as you move, your throat contracting around him with every stroke, the sound of your gagging filling the alley. 

You pull him out again, spitting on his cock and pumping him with both hands, your grip slick as you work him faster, relishing in the way his head tips back, eyes squeezed shut in bliss. 

After a few more minutes of your sloppy, eager blowjob, he groans and yanks you off him, his hands rough as he drags you to your feet. Before you can process what’s happening, he’s thrown open the backdoor of the SUV, damn near tossing you inside before climbing in behind you. 

The moment he’s inside, his badge and gun are discarded to the side, and he grabs you by the waist, pulling you onto his lap as he leans back against the seat. His cock is hard and slick, pressing against your soaked entrance, but he doesn’t push inside yet. 

Instead, he yanks the top of your dress down, exposing your breasts, and immediately latches his mouth onto one of your nipples. His wet tongue swirls around the sensitive bud as his free hand pinches and tugs at the other, sending shocks of pleasure straight to your pussy. 

You moan loudly, your hips grinding down against his dick, sliding him between your slick folds, teasing both of you.

You’ve made a mess of his white shirt and part of his slacks.

You wonder if he’ll go home to her like this. Kiss her with the same mouth that’s kissed you.

Every inch of your skin is on fire, the need to have him inside of you building with every passing second. 

“Javier, please,” you whine, your fingers tangling in his hair as you try to push yourself down onto him.

He pulls away from your breast with a wet pop, “Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with condescension as his hand trails down your body, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. “Begging for my cock like a whore.”

You bite your lip, your pride long forgotten as you look down at him, a needy expression painting your face. “Please, Javi,” you beg, grinding harder against him, feeling the thick head of his cock press against your entrance. “I need you. Please— fuck me.”

He chuckles darkly, his grip on your hips bruising the skin as he holds you still. “You think I’m just gonna give you what you want after the way you’ve been acting?”

Before you can respond, his hand comes down hard on your ass, the sharp sting of the spank making you cry out in surprise. “Javi!”

“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbles, landing another spank on the other cheek. “You want my cock? Earn it.”

You moan, your body trembling as the pain mixes with the pleasure coursing through you. His words, his rough treatment— it only makes you want him more. “Please,” you sob, your voice shaky as you wiggle your hips, trying to push him inside, the lingering sting of his smacks vibrating against your plush skin. 

He groans, and in one swift motion, he thrusts up into you, his cock stretching you wide as he sinks deep inside. You cry at the sudden intrusion, your body tensing before relaxing as the pleasure of being filled washes over you.

“Fuck,” it feels like his cock has punched you in the lungs, your nails digging into his shoulders as you start to move, riding him slowly at first, your head thrown back as you savor the feeling of him inside of you. “So fucking big.”

Javier grunts, his hands gripping your hips as he guides your movements, bucking up into you as you swivel your hips. “That’s it,” his teeth graze your neck as he thrusts harder, deeper. “Take it, princess. Take every inch.”

You moan loudly, your body then bouncing on his lap as you both lose yourselves in the heat of the moment.

Nothing else matters except the way he feels inside you and the filthy words spilling from his lips as you fuck each other like you’ve both been waiting for this for far too long.

The sounds coming from both of you—wet, filthy, primal—fill the confined space of the SUV. The smell of sex and leather in the air.

Each thrust of his hips sends you spiraling closer to the edge, your bodies colliding in a frenzied rhythm that makes the vehicle rock with your movements. Thank fucking God the windows are tinted.

Javier’s hands grip your hips tightly, guiding your frantic movements, his cock buried deep inside of you, hitting every spot that makes you cry out in pleasure.

Eyes are half-lidded as he watches your breasts bounce while you hop on his dick.

His lips part, a low groan escaping him as he feels you flutter around him, your pussy tightening with the promise of your impending orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he grits out. He’s close— so fucking close— and the way you’re moving, the way you’re so desperate for him, makes it impossible for him to hold back much longer.

His brow furrows, a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face as he thrusts up into you harder, faster— chasing his own release. “You’re gonna make me come, princess,” he groans, his fingers digging into your skin as he bites down on his lower lip.

Your head falls back, your lips parted in a breathless moan as the band inside you snaps. “Javi,” you mewl, barely able to get his name out as the wave of pleasure crashes over you, sending your body trembling and convulsing around him. “Oh fuck, I’m coming,” you gasp, your voice breaking as your orgasm ripples through you. “Harder— please.”

He grits his teeth once he feels you unravel around him, your pussy clenching against his cock. It gets him there with you, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as his hips jerk up harshly a few more times time.

His release hits him hard, spilling into you without asking, but you don’t notice nor care. You both ride out the aftershocks together, tangled in each other’s arms, your breaths coming in ragged gasps, the car still rocking slightly as the final thrusts slow.

For a brief moment, everything is still. Your fingers trailing over his skin as you try to catch even out your breathing.

But then, reality slams back into focus.

Javier’s body goes rigid beneath you, his hands releasing their grip on your hips as if what just happened is sinking in all at once. “Get off,” he mutters, his voice suddenly sharp. “Now.”

You blink, disoriented, still riding the afterglow, but the tone of his voice cuts through the haze. You hesitate for a second, looking down at him, trying to read his expression. There’s no trace of the infatuation that had consumed him just moments ago. Instead, his face is etched with regret, his lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw tight.

“Javi…” you start, but he cuts you off, his hand coming up to push you gently but firmly off his lap.

“Get. Off,” he repeats, leaving no room for argument.

You pull away, your body trembling slightly as you move off him, awkwardly adjusting your dress. The tension is suffocating as Javier quickly pulls up his pants, his hands shaking slightly as he fastens his belt. He’s avoiding your gaze, his brows furrowed in frustration as he runs a hand through his hair, cursing under his breath.

“We need to go,” his voice is cold and distant, as if the intimacy you just shared never happened. “Before your mother declares a state of emergency on the entire country.”

He digs into his pocket, your ruined panties then are tossed at you and you bite your lip, feeling the sting of rejection settle deep in your chest.

Once he’s fixed his clothes, Javier moves with a tense efficiency, reholstering his gun and straightening his badge like nothing happened.

His movements are mechanical, as if he’s trying to regain control, trying to rebuild that wall he always hides behind. You sit there, watching him in silence, a real icy feeling knotting in your chest.

He doesn’t look at you as he steps out of the SUV, slamming the door behind him forcefully and it makes you flinch. The loud thud echoes through the car, leaving you alone in the backseat with nothing but your racing thoughts and destroyed underwear.

The shame snaps into you then, creeping up your spine and spreading through your body like poison. You wipe the smeared makeup from under your eyes, fix your dress, but there’s no saving it. Literally and metaphorically.

He slips into the driver’s seat a moment later. He doesn’t say a word.

You sink back into the leather seat, the silence absolutely deafening. The back of the car feels like a cage now— your earlier exhilaration has all but disappeared. All that’s left is this gnawing sense of regret swirling in your gut.

The engine hums to life as he drives out of the alleyway, his movements precise and methodical, the way they always are when he’s on the job.

Like he’s already compartmentalizing.

You consider saying something— anything to break the silence that’s strangling you both— but the words die on your lips. What would you even say?

“You should’ve never snuck out,” Javier finally speaks lowly, as if it’s painful for him to even acknowledge the situation. “You’re lucky no one saw you.”

There’s an edge to his words, but it’s not the usual reprimand. Rather just regret, frustration, and anger all wrapped into one.

You don’t respond right away, your eyes fixed on the traffic ahead. “I don’t care,” you finally mutter, more to yourself than to him. “I’m sick of it. Of all of it.” You pause, your throat tight with emotion. “For once, I just wanted to feel like I was in control.”

Javier lets out a harsh breath, his hands tightening on the wheel. “Control? ” He scoffs, his tone biting. “You don’t even know what that word means.”

You turn your head to glare at him, heart pounding in your chest. “I’m not a fucking child.” He chuckles at that, wordlessly saying otherwise. “And you don’t know what it’s like to live my life,” you snap, the frustration boiling over. “To constantly be watched, to have every move scrutinized, to be paraded around like some perfect fucking doll when I didn’t ask for any of it.”

His grip on the wheel loosens slightly, but his face remains impassive. “None of this is new,” he reminds you, “You knew what your life would be like when your mother was re-elected. It’s not about you anymore. It never was.”

You feel the sting of his words, but you refuse to back down. “Maybe it should be,” you say, your voice trembling with anger. “Maybe I should get to live my life the way I want to. Not the way everyone else expects me to.”

Brown eyes flicker toward you in the rearview mirror for a split second. He shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter,” his voice is tight. “You can try again in four years.”

You huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you sink deeper into the seat. “You just want to pretend this never happened.”

Javier’s silence is answer enough.

The rest of the ride is quiet and tense. When you finally pull up to the back gates of the White House, you sigh when your lavish prison comes into view and when he parks right outside the private entrance that you and the rest of your family get in and out of.

Javier glances in the rearview mirror one final time, his expression unreadable, before he cuts the engine and steps out.

He opens the back door for you, his handsome face set in that familiar stoic mask. “Let’s go,” he orders, tone flat, devoid of the erotic emotions from earlier.

You hesitate, a pout forming on your lips, the confidence you’d wielded earlier crumbling to dust. Your legs wobble as you step out, shaky and weak from how he fucked you

He shrugs off his jacket and throws it over your bare shoulders. The gesture would’ve felt protective, maybe even tender, in another moment. But now, it’s a calculated move to cover up the evidence of what you just did. He’s not doing it for you— he’s doing it for his job. 

He walks you inside, his large hand resting lightly at your lower back as if guiding you, but the warmth you once felt from his touch is nowhere to be found. His eyes dart around the hall, scoping the area, making sure none of the other agents that he commands are around to see you.

He nods curtly when the coast is clear, a silent gesture to keep moving. You feel like a liability— something to be hidden away, managed, not the girl who he was just balls deep inside.

The heels you’re wearing are muted against the thick carpet as you walk down the long hallway toward your bedroom. Each step feels like an eternity. 

When you finally reach your bedroom door, he pulls the jacket from your shoulders without a word. You blink back the sting of tears, throat tightening at the action.

He’s not just being distant—he’s erasing you, erasing the moment, wiping it all away like it meant nothing.

Because it hadn’t meant a damn thing. He is married, after all. You were nothing but an easy fuck. A form of relief. Eye candy for him as he was for you.

Without looking back or saying anything, you push open the door and step inside. The soft click of the latch as you shut it in his face echoes in the stillness and you don’t need to look back to know that there’s nothing behind those brown eyes for you anymore. 

[kaleldobrev]

Aren’t You Forgetting Something?

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben, Hughie Campbell, MM & Nan (Reader’s Grandmother)

Original Prompt: Requested by anon | I gotta tell you that not only I love your writing but I love your series writing, specifically. When something new drops I’m always happy to read it before going to bed because I somehow feel connected to the characters, like I know them! I love to keep up with them and I love Ben’s and Y/N relationship so much. I’m in the mood for some angst between them tho, maybe Ben forgetting her birthday and receiving a silence treatment? I don’t know, but I trust you.

Summary: Ben forgets one of the most important days in yours and his relationship — your one year anniversary

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Cursing (40x), Forgetful!Ben, Ben making fun of Hughie for the umpteenth time, Implied violence, Lots of angst, Fluff, Vulnerable!Ben & Implied Smut at the end

Authors Note: Takes place in the Hughie’s Best Friend is Dating Soldier Boy Universe | I changed it from birthday to anniversary, so I hope that's okay my anon friend! | Takes place after After Everything | I had a lot of fun looking up 1950s fashion for this | There will not be a second part to this but I will still be adding to this universe | This came out a lot longer than I expected it to, but I had a lot of fun with this | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

⋆ Hughe's Best Friend is Dating Soldier Boy Masterlist ⋆

You never thought that this day would ever come, but it was finally here: yours and Ben's one year anniversary. It was a milestone that you never thought would come, as the relationship between the two of you wasn't always easy. It was rocky, and sometimes very, very messy. But despite all of the messiness, you loved him unconditionally, and he loved you just the same, but showed it in his own unique ways.

Ben wasn't the kind of person to verbally say, "I love you," as his love language tended to be that of a physical nature. He would do chores around the house that you hated to do — despite him having it too. He would bring things back from missions that reminded him of you — often those objects being covered in someone else's blood; and he would kiss and smack your ass every time you were in his path, no matter what either one of you was doing.

Although you love those physical actions, you hoped that maybe one day you would be able to hear him utter those three little words you had been yearning to hear — and maybe, just maybe, today was that day.

Since Ben was away on a secret mission that you weren’t apart of since you were sick at the beginning, you took this whole week that he was away in order to plan what you were going to do for him the day of. Initially, the two of you agreed that you really weren't going to do anything special to celebrate, but the more you thought about it, the more you realized how important this milestone truly was; not only for your relationship, but for the two of you individually.

Although it was only a year, your relationship with Ben was the longest you've ever been in. Not that you've had many previous relationships, but every single one you had previously never really lasted long (you were lucky if it lasted two months), as they either did not understand the whole vigilante justice objective of The Boys, Butcher somehow scared them off, or they were (funnily) threatened by Hughie.

But Ben was different in this way compared to your other relationships. He understood the vigilante justice, he understood your hatred for Vought, and he wasn't threatened by Hughie in the slightest (Hughie was actually threatened by him). Despite all of his flaws, he was perfect in his own way.

When it came to the Ben side of things, you were not his longest relationship by a long shot, but you were the first and only person to have genuine feelings for him. Those genuine feelings being something that no one had seen coming — not even you. But he was someone that gradually turned into becoming the person you had wanted to spend the rest of your life with, despite how strange that sounded to most people.

Your plan for the big day was simple, but felt like it would be special enough to really honor and celebrate the relationship. You had planned to make his favorite dinner: steak and mashed potatoes. For dessert, favorite pie: pecan. And dress in the style of a 1950s housewife, as that was a style he had never once seen you in before.

Even though you have made his favorite dinner and dessert hundreds of times before, dressing up as a housewife was something that was definitely beyond your comfort zone and expertise, so you went to the one person that knew could help you best: your Nan.

Despite the style of the housewife fashion basically being obsolete, it was a look that she adored, and dawned on even years after the style had become out of fashion. Her hair was always neat and never out of place, her lipstick always the deepest shade of red, and her dresses always the brightest of hues. You remembered seeing pictures of her back when she was your age and she was a knockout (Ben agreeing), so when you told her that you wanted to dress in the housewife style, she beamed and quickly went to her closest to pull out the nicest shade of red that perfectly matched your skin tone.

“Just don’t do anything sexual in this dress. I’ll never be able to get the stains out,” she told you with a wink. Her comment causing you to roll your eyes.

“You’re just as bad as Ben,” you told her.

Ben was eager to get back home to you, as this mission was taking a lot longer than he had anticipated. It was supposed to be a quick and easy assassination (something he had done alone hundreds of times before), but one thing after another kept going wrong, and he couldn’t help but blame “his team.” He felt himself getting more and more agitated by the second, and there was nothing he could do about it, especially because you weren’t here to help him take the edge off.

Even though rough sex with you right now would be the highlight of the mission, he wished that you were here to at least talk to him, because you were one of the only people he knew that he could have an actual conversation with that wouldn't end up with him being annoyed.

He paced back and forth, with shield in hand; the only sounds between him and the rest of the group were the occasional snicker and his heavy boots. “You’re making me nervous walking around like that,” MM said, behind his binoculars.

Ben rolled his eyes, stopping a few feet away from him. “Then what would you suggest I’d be doing right now? We’re just sitting around doing nothing.”

“Is there somewhere else you need to be? Cause we’re here to do a job,” MM replied, removing the binoculars from his eyes and turning in Ben’s direction. “And we’re going to be here as long as it takes to do this job.”

“I’d rather be in Y/N’s pussy or ass right now, but because you guys are all somehow getting worse at your jobs, I can’t fucking do that right now,” Ben said, grinning an annoyed grin.

His comment caused mixed reactions from the group; but mainly disgusted looks from MM and Hughie. Butcher and Frenchie on the other hand, looked indifferent about his comment. “I really wish you’d stop mentioning how much you like fucking my best friend. It’s getting…weird,” Hughie commented.

“Fucking pussy,” Ben mumbled to himself.

With the pie cooling on the counter, and with dinner almost ready, you felt your heart beating faster than normal. Was it normal to get this nervous about anniversaries? To you, it felt like another day with Ben, but that’s not the way your heart and stomach was making you feel.

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize yourself as you dawned red lipstick, and a matching shirtwaist dress you had borrowed from your Nan. But you couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction was going to be as this was something he’d never seen you in before. Yes, he’d seen you dress up a handful of times, but it was in a modern style of dress — sweetheart and plunging necklines with a slit riding up the thigh; not this style which was something he hadn’t seen in decades.

You smiled though, thrilled with your appearance despite the nerves you were feeling. Your hair perfectly styled similar to that of Rosie the Riveter and deep red lipstick that was in a similar shade to your dress. The last thing to complete the look were pearls — your mothers specifically.

Finally covered in a thin layer of blood, sweat, and ash, the mission was finally over, and a huge sigh of relief washed over Ben. In just a few short hours, he would finally be home to his girl. “Fucking finally,” he said, mainly to himself, as he placed his gun back into his holster.

He looked over to his left, and Hughie was standing there with ripped clothes, he too covered in a thin layer of sweat, blood, and ash, holding a gun with his usual slightly constipated look on his face.

As Ben was about to walk away, as he didn’t really want to wait up for Hughie, he sighed, knowing that you’d want him to ask how he was doing in this moment, although he couldn’t give two fucks. “Hey,” he said, and Hughie looked over at him. “You good?” He asked.

The look on Hughie’s face changed; it was no longer the look of constipation, but slight annoyance. “Am I good?” He asked, his hands falling to his sides; the gun slightly hitting him in the leg. “What part of — yeah. I’m fine. Just, just peachy.” His tone radiating sarcasm.

“Awesome,” Ben grinned, giving him a thumbs up as he started walking away; being careful not to trip over any debris. “You comin’ or what?” He called out, as soon as he left the room. “I ain’t gonna be late because of you.”

Hughie’s face changed again to that of a puzzled one. “Late for what?” He asked, but quickly shook his head. “Actually, don’t fucking answer that because you’ll probably say something disgusting.” A loud, booming laugh from Ben could be heard down the hall in response.

As you sat on the couch watching tv, your nerves were starting to get the best of you again, and you were beginning to second guess your decision in wearing this outfit. You thought that it would be a special surprise for him to see you dressed like this, since it was something you usually didn't wear, but at the same time, maybe he wouldn't even notice or care. You weren't entirely sure if it was because he was a guy, or because he's been around such a long time, that he'd seen and done everything, and there was nothing that remotely fazed him at this point in his life.

Staring at the door, you got startled suddenly from the sound of your phone ringing. There was a small part of you that hoped it was Ben, but it was your Nan. Taking a deep breath to collect yourself, you answered the phone. "Hi Nan, how are you?"

"Hi Sweetheart. Has Ben seen you yet? How'd he like the pie?" She asked, her voice sweet.

"Ben's not home yet, but he should be home soon," you told her.

"Okay dear. Well, can you tell him hi and give him a big kiss for me? I always thought he was so handsome back in the day. He still very much is. Aged like a fine wine," she chuckled to herself. "But don't tell your grandfather," she chuckled again.

"Yes, I'll tell him hi and kiss him for you," you said, quietly laughing to yourself. "You know he's always happy to hear from you," which was the truth. He was always happy to humor her and reminisce about the good old days, even if he had heard some of her stories numerous times before.

As you heard the door unlock, you smiled widely. "Nan, I have to go. Ben just walked in," you said.

"Okay Sweetheart. Happy Anniversary!" She said happily. "Don't do anything I wouldn't," she chuckled again, before the two of you hung up the phone. There's not a lot of things Ben wouldn’t do, you thought.

"Fuck it's good to be home," Ben said, walking into the house and placing his shield next to the door. "I swear, your friends are getting worse at their jobs somehow, cause I probably would have been home fucking sooner if — Fuck, look at you." He finally looked up now, and you were standing there in an outfit that he had never once seen on you. It was something that he hadn't seen in decades in fact; and the biggest grin appeared on his face.

You didn’t move a muscle toward him, but he heard your heart beating like a jackrabbit. The sounds of his heavy boots walked across the floor toward you. “Do you like?” You asked, and you gave him a small spin; the dress slightly flowing as you did so. “Thought I’d do something special. Different.” You smiled, practically beaming with excitement. He wondered what the occasion was.

“Haven’t seen one of these in fucking decades,” he said, slightly reminiscing with a grin. He looked you over, eyeing you up and down, one of his fingers hooking into the belt loop of the dress. “What’s the occasion?” Your once beaming smile slowly faded into a frown. “What?”

“You seriously don’t know?” You asked, your voice slightly irritated sounding. He hadn’t had the foggiest idea what made today so special, other than you dressing differently than you normally did.

He looked at your face, trying to obtain some kind of hint, but he had no clue. But your heart was racing faster now. You were pissed — and he didn’t fucking understand why. “No, I really fucking don’t,” he said. “Why don’t you tell me? I’m not a fucking mind reader Princess.”

You let out a huge huff, rolling your eyes at him. As much as he thought you were cute when you were pissed, he didn't like it when you pissed at him. "Un-fucking-believable," you said, pulling away from him.

"What?" He asked, still in utter disbelief.

"Your favorite fucking dinner is on the fucking table along with your favorite fucking pie. I'm going to bed," you said, your voice angry as you stormed off into the bedroom, slamming the door. Two seconds later, the door opened again. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight," you told him, and slammed the door again, promptly locking it behind you.

You knew the lock wouldn't be able to keep Ben out, as he'd be able to bust open the door with barely any effort; but you knew he wouldn't remotely try to come into the room, as he knew not to come in when you locked it — thankfully, he was starting to understand boundaries.

You couldn’t help but be angry, upset, and frustrated. But at the same time, you weren’t remotely surprised that he didn’t remember. It was something that neither one of you initially wanted to make a big deal about, but between this being your longest relationship, and the last person he celebrated an anniversary with gave him up to the Russians, you figured why not make this day special after all?

It took everything you could to hold back the tears as you started to remove your makeup; feeling like it was an utter waste of time. It didn't take you that long to do this, but you went through some effort looking up tutorials online to try and be as 1950s authentic as possible, even asking your Nan for tips on how she used to do her own.

The mascara started running down your face, as you tried your best to scrub it off. But it was barely getting removed, which only frustrated you more. You pounded the dresser, and let out a muffled sounding scream.

A small knock came at the door a few seconds later. "Sweetheart, you okay?" Ben asked, and you scoffed.

"Fuck you," was the only response you could muster up in the moment.

"Ouch," you heard him mumble. "Can we...talk?" His voice hesitant.

"No. Just leave me alone Ben," you said, and you could hear sadness in your voice.

You heard him let out a frustrated sigh. "Alright," and the sound of his heavy boots walked away from the door. He sounded frustrated too.

As Ben ate his dinner that you had made for him (his favorite no less), he tried to figure out why you were so unbelievably pissed at him to the point that you refused to talk to him. Yes, he’d seen you pissed numerous times (either at him or about something else), but you’d never been so pissed to the point that you’d completely shut him out — and that terrified him.

Like usual, he started going down the list of things that he knew pissed you off: not taking his boots off in the house, tracking mud into the kitchen, getting blood on the furniture, doing coke on the kitchen table, crushing Bennie’s on the marble bathroom counter. Maybe it was the boot thing? Yeah, it had to be, he thought.

As you lied in bed staring up at the ceiling, you sighed heavily, wanting more than anything to unlock the door and invite Ben to come in and cuddle with you. It had been almost a week since you’d last saw him, and you just wanted to feel his skin against yours. But you didn’t want to give in — you earned the right to be pissed, even if it wasn’t particularly fair to be, since you agreed not to make it a big deal. Then again, he did forget your anniversary.

You heard a knock at the door again, and you sighed an annoyed sigh. “Go away,” you said.

“I think I know why you’re pissed at me,” Ben said. Your eyes lit up, and you sat up straight in bed, eager for him to say Happy Anniversary. A smile formed on lips, waiting. “I forgot to take my boots off when I came into the house,” and then your smile faded.

“Fucking Christ,” you mumbled, falling into the bed again to stare up at the ceiling.

“Is that a no?” Ben questioned.

“That’s a no,” you responded, annoyed.

“Son of a Fuck,” you heard him mumble, as he walked away from the door again.

As Ben sat on the couch flipping through channels, he continued to think about what you could possibly be this pissed about if it wasn’t the boot thing. Women are so fucking complicated, he thought. Weren’t this fucking complicated back in my day.

He stared at the couch, sighing in annoyance as he didn’t want to be sleeping here tonight. He wanted to sleep in bed with you; something he had been looking forward to the entire week he had been away from you. He looked forward to holding you close, and making you feel safe, tracing patterns on your bare back like you did to him. He honestly didn’t know what he was going to do if he didn’t figure out why you were mad; because he loathed when you were mad at him. It was a time that made him feel the most unease and insecure, and he was rarely insecure and uneasy.

Ben hadn’t known you for long, but you had managed to somehow worm your way quickly into his heart. You were someone he felt a strange connection to the moment he laid his eyes on you; and you were the one person that made him feel safe and loved. You were the only one that he felt he could be his true self around.

He thought of ways in which maybe you could forgive him, and started working on those; one of them being washing the dishes from his dinner even though he preferred you to do it. But he hoped that maybe this small gesture would help in his favor. Maybe I can go down on you? He thought. You always forgive me after that. Then again, I don’t let you come until you do…

As he made his way back into the kitchen, he stopped dead in his tracks, as he noticed something on the calendar that for some reason, he hadn’t noticed previously. Today’s date was circled with a single sentence written in your handwriting: 1 Year Anniversary.

“Fuck,” he said to himself. “I forgot our fucking anniversary.”

Ben stared at the circled date on the calendar, mentally cursing himself because he had forgotten it by accident. It was a day that he meant to remember, and even repeated over and over again while they were heading to the mission. But because it had taken so long to complete, it left his mind, because it had become entirely mission focused.

You’re never going to fucking forgive me, he thought. This was how he was going to lose you. Panic started to set in for him, realizing that he might have to live the rest of his miserable existence without you; and that was something he couldn’t bear the thought of. Ben didn’t need a lot of things, but he knew that he needed you.

Tossing and turning, you were having a hard time trying to fall asleep. You wanted Ben to be lying next to you right now, caressing your hair, and feeling his rapid heartbeat. It was simple moments like those that you enjoyed most with him; because sometimes you would forget all the awful and horrible things both of you had done in order to meet and to get to this point. If Grace hadn’t recruited you, you would have never met the love of your life.

The love of your life: now that was a sentence you never thought you’d ever equate to Soldier Boy. He was someone you grew up having a crush on since you and your father had watched his movies on repeat to the point you had to buy another VHS tape because you’d worn it out. He was someone you wished you could have met because he was always your favorite (partially because he was also your dad’s favorite).

But he was a Supe, and you had told yourself that you’d never end up with one after what had happened to your uncle, but here you were, dreaming of spending the rest of your life with one.

You sighed heavily, and ended up on your back again. A knock came at the door again, and you turned to face it. “I forgot our anniversary, and I’m sorry,” Ben said, and you cocked a brow. His words seemed genuine, and hurt at the same time. “I tried to remember; I really did but…the mission took full focus.” You heard him sigh, and you knew how hard this was for him, as apologizing was something he wasn’t particularly good at, since Vought basically taught him to never apologize for anything. “I don’t want to lose you over this. I….fuck,” he mumbled. “Can you please open the door so I can look at you?”

He heard you getting up out of the bed, slightly sighing. He could hear your heartbeat, and it was music to his ears despite the rapidness of it. He heard you unlocking it, his nerves starting to show as he tapped the wall next to the door.

You opened it up gently and stared at him through the crack of it. Your eyes slightly puffy from crying. He felt his heart drop, hating that he was the one that had made you cry — he never wanted to be the one responsible for that. “Sweetheart,” he began. “I know I fucked up.”

“Did you actually remember, or did you look at the calendar?” You asked him, your voice barely audible even to him.

“I looked at the calendar,” he admitted. “But to be fair, I really did try and fucking remember. You can ask your friend. I was saying the date on repeat, and then the mission got in the way 'cause they weren’t doing their fucking jobs properly.”

“Hughie can back that up?” You asked, and he nodded. He hoped that you wouldn’t ask him, because he wasn’t sure if he would actually corroborate his story or just fuck him over.

“He fucking hates me, I know he wouldn’t back me up,” Ben added. “I make fun of him too much. But it’s hard not to, I mean look at him.”

“I’m not going to break up with you if that’s what you’re worried about,” you said, hopefully reassuring him. Because even though he gave off the attitude that he didn’t need anyone or anything, you knew you were the only person he needed. You were the one person Ben could rely on no matter what; and you couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen if something bad had happened to you, or if your relationship ever ended.

“I don’t like it when you hate me,” he whispered. “You’re the one person I couldn’t bear to have hate me.”

“I don’t hate you Ben,” you said, reassuring him again. “I could never hate you.”

“Even if I killed Hughie?” He asked, slight teasing in his voice. But you gave him the look, and his teasing smile quickly faded. “Right. He’s off limits.” His hands finally went up in the air, as if he was surrendering. “I’d never kill him, don’t worry. I don’t actually mean it.”

“I wanted to do something special for you, even though we agreed not to make it a big deal because I figured this was a milestone for the both of us. You’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had, and the last person you celebrated an anniversary with gave you to the Russians.”

“I gave her a fucking diamond necklace too,” he mumbled.

“Ben,” you began.

“Sorry, sorry. Look, I want to make it up to you,” he said. “Let me start by —”

“Going down on me?” You questioned, cocking a brow.

“Well…yeah…I mean, don’t you like when I go down on you?” He asked.

“Yeah of course, but I was kind of hoping for something else than the usual way,” you confessed.

“Like what? Me saying I love you or something?” He asked.

“Don’t say it just because you think that’s what I want to hear. I want you to say it because you actually mean it.” It was three little words you had longed to hear for a while. And even though he had said it, he said it in a way of a question, because he thought it was words that would make this situation all better; almost like putting a band-aid on a huge gash.

“You know how I feel about you. I thought it was obvious when I first saw you,” he said. “When I first saw you, I thought you were a fucking knockout. I mean, I pictured you sucking and bouncing on my cock so many times before you actually did.”

“If that was supposed to sound romantic, it failed,” you said; barely humoring him in the moment.

He sighed, slightly rolling his eyes. “What I’m trying to say is, I may not be perfect, but there are five things that I know. Numbers one to three, I love your boobs, ass, and pussy. Number four, you’re the only person I ever fucking need in my life, and five, I love you. And I’m not just fucking saying that. I really fucking do. And you know how fucking hard that is for me to say cause the last person I said I love you to was a fucking bitch.”

Ben looked at your face, trying to find any hint of what you may be thinking. But he didn’t have the foggiest idea. All you did was stare at him with those big eyes of yours, looking at him like a lost puppy. “You said it,” you whispered, almost in disbelief. “You actually fucking said it…Ben…”

That’s when you wrapped his arms around him, finally feeling your small embrace. A grin formed on his face as he wrapped his arms around you in response. It felt nice to say it to you and say it to someone that he knew actually appreciated him. He let you see another side of him, a side that he would never let anyone besides you see. “Can I go down on you now?” He asked, speaking into your hair. You let out a small laugh, and felt you nod into his chest.

Without a second going by, he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder, happily bringing you into the bedroom.

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[madamechrissy]

Fractured Desires

ꕥ Pairings: Suguru Geto x Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader It's a mess tbh lol

ꕥ Warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, Satoru Gojo is a mean little shit, there will be a lot of threesomes/ foursomes/ complicated shit and some infidelity and confusion. There is some physical description of the readers height/body, don't read if too unimmersive for you. Angst and smut and yandere Gojo behavior. In this chapter- Toxic Asshole Gojo, and toxicc hoe Geto

ꕥ Word Count this chap- 8.7k

ꕥ Summary- You meet Suguru Geto at your work, he is charming, gorgeous, and has a poly lifestyle. You jump in, and you all share women and have way too much fun. But then it's starting to get serious between you, official even. He can't wait to have you meet his best friend. But... Satoru Gojo hates you. The minute you meet. He gives you no reason, but he's nasty to you, no matter what you try. Suguru finally has enough of Satoru being so mean and brings up the idea - 'let's have you two fuck this frustration out'

Satoru hates you because deep down wants to make you his. He doesn't even understand how Suguru could ever want anyone but you. Though it's a horrible idea, he agrees to share you with Suguru for a chance to touch you and... The moment he touches you...Rules are bent and broken, Suguru develops feelings for another girl, and Satoru gets further obsessed with you, while you're left confused... will everyone get hurt?

Masterlist

ꕥChapter 1 ꕥ

Satoru's POV

Satoru Gojo hates you. No, he really hates you.

As Suguru and you walk in, hand in hand, and he sees your pretty eyes all lit up, he realizes he despises you more than anything. Hates how you smile at him, how you look at Suguru so adoringly, he really hates how positive and sweet you are, especially to him, when he’s a dick to you.

Why don’t you stop? Just be a bitch back or something, be real with him, but no, you’re perfect aren’t you? Just a perfect girl, beautiful, though he doesn’t find you attractive, no way . Even though he can see every curve in that dress you wear, your lush breasts swaying (because why can’t you wear a bra) your hips swaying, your little waist where it juts in.

You have a gorgeous body, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care your skin glows, and your cheeks get pink. He hates that. He hates every bit of you, as you stand there, so tiny compared to Suguru and him, so tiny he could throw you. Tiny and evil. Sure you’ve been nothing but nice but he knows you’re awful somewhere in there, because who can be so sweet?

As you bounce in his office, holding a little envelope that was pink just like the dress you wore (god you’re so girly, you annoy him that way too) Satoru Gojo just scowls at you, then looks to Suguru. Suguru looks like a puppy so in love with you already, and how, it hadn’t been that long had it…

“Happy birthday, Gojo!” You beam at him, coming to his desk and leaning forward, hugging him around his neck. He tenses then.

Your collarbone is so inviting and delicate, right against his face, as your breasts are soft on his own chest, the weight of them so intoxicating. You smell so sweet, like cherry blossoms, he hates that, hates you. He hates how much his arms itch to wrap back, how much his hands want to slide up your back, grip those pretty tits that are killing him.

Fuck he hates you.

“Ahem…” You awkwardly step back as he just sits there, and he glares at you, making your pretty face fall for a moment.

Good.

Your POV

“Sorry, got carried away. I am so excited to give you this gift!” You hand him the pink envelope, and Suguru comes closer, leaning on Satoru’s desk and smirking.

“Open it baby boy.” Suguru teases, and Satoru rolls his pretty blue eyes.

“A gift would be not having to see you.” He says tersely, glaring at you then, and how did someone so stunning and beautiful look at you so mean . For what?

You tense then, and Suguru has a glare on his handsome face, coming to wrap an arm around your waist gently but assuredly. His big hand is warm on your hip, and you watch Satoru’s bright blue eyes hone in on them like a hawk. Suguru leans forward and presses his lips against your temple, firm hot lips that you adored, and you instantly relax.

“Satoru, she’s just trying to be nice, could you please just try not to be such a colossal dick?” Suguru asks calmly, and Satoru lowers his gaze back to the envelope again.

Satoru Gojo hates you. You don’t know why.

You’ve been dating Suguru for only three months, so not a very long time, but you’d known him for a little longer, he’d come into the club you work at on the weekends, and would sit at the bar and talk to you. Until one night you got the hint, and did go home with him, and fuck if it wasn’t the best decision. Suguru Geto was absolutely amazing in every way possible.

You both had fallen into an easy situation-ship, as Suguru was very open sexually, and though you weren’t at first, he made it fun. You were bisexual, so you all started just having fun together with a couple gorgeous girls, and fuck Suguru was superb in bed too. The thoughts alone make you tremble.

You all ended up developing feelings and deciding to be together, and exclusively date even if you all had fun in the room, you both promised to only ‘date’ each other. It was weird, and not common, but it seemed to work. You loved watching Suguru get pleased by another woman, and he loved to watch you get pleased.

Even though he hadn’t said he loved you, you had let it slip during one particular love making session alone together. Definitely had to do with Suguru’s tongue honestly. He had said he needed some time, which was fine with you, because Suguru treated you like some queen.

He took care of you, he was there for you, shit he spoiled you honestly. Though he was with other women sexually, he only dated you, and he’d even offered to bring a guy in the bedroom. But you weren’t sure about that sort of thing, with a guy.

When you’d met his best friend, and fuck you’d been so excited, Suguru talked him up like he was amazing, he clearly adored him, so much so you wondered if they were together together, perhaps in the past. Suguru brought up that they'd shared women and everything, and of course when you saw Satoru Gojo your heart had faltered.

He was beautiful, this tall white haired man with a perfect face and baby blue eyes, the yin to Suguru’s yang. Both of them were the most gorgeous men you’d seen. Suguru had talked so much about how Satoru was just the absolute best person, how he would adore you, because Suguru did. Bright and funny, and a loyal friend, almost like family.

Welp.

The Satoru Gojo you met was mean . Nasty. He looked at you like you were something disgusting to him, and he had not once smiled your way, and you have absolutely no clue what you’ve done. You have tried everything, to the point Suguru has brought up not hanging out with him as much, but you never want to ruin a friendship, and you insist he keeps trying.

But no matter what, any time you were around, Satoru had nothing nice to say, no he had mean things to say. Sometimes so cruel Suguru and him would fight, and Satoru would sort of apologize, once Suguru backed off hanging out with him. Which was hard, since they work together in the same building, both running the same damn company together.

You hate that you come between them.

“Yeah, yeah… my birthday is tomorrow.” He slides a silver letter opener to tear open the envelope then.

“She wanted to give it to you today.”

“Hmm… holy fuck!” He runs a hand through his silky white hair, as his full lips part in a gasp, staring at the tickets. “This is front and center for the game tomorrow!? How, these are sold out!?”

“I got them last month. Suguru brought up how much you love going to those games and I got a deal on them.” You say, and Suguru smiles down at you, looking so handsome, you brush back his long locks, kissing his cheek and giggling.

“Knew he’d love it.” Suguru murmurs, and you get just a bit of hope, until Satoru pulls the tickets out.

“Three?” He says haughtily, glaring those ridiculously pretty blue eyes up at you then, blinking those spiky white lashes. You sigh.

“Yeah, I thought we could all go? If that’s okay!” You wring your hands nervously in front of you.

“Of course it’s okay, right Satoru?”

“Can I take someone else?” He asks, and you feel your chest tighten. Suguru opens his mouth, brows low over his brown eyes, but you stop him.

“Um, it’s your gift. Of course you can. I didn’t mean to impose.” He sighs, rolling his eyes, leaning back in the big black office chair and thrumming his fingers on the mahogany desk like he’s bored.

“You don’t care? You bought them, and a pretty penny I bet.” You just blink back that emotion, smiling brightly, earning a scowl.

“It’s your gift and I shouldn’t have been so sure you’d want me to go. So of course, but please take Suguru.”

“Babe-”

“It’s fine!”

“Oh I’ll take Suguru.” He smirks, and it’s a nasty one, too nasty to be on such a pretty face, as he eyes your body up and down. “Think I’ll invite a really pretty girl, someone banging hot.”

You tense at his words, and Suguru does too. “Yeah, what now? As if she’s not drop dead gorgeous, please fuck all the way off. You can dislike her but don’t lie.”

You’re bright red, and barely held in tears make your vision blur as Satoru casually assesses you. “Mmm… she’s okay I guess. I meant actually hot.”

“I’m just gonna go.” You whisper then, trembling as he so casually douses the small bit of self esteem you have, the one that Suguru had helped you with.

“Apologize, now, because you know it’s bullshit. I know you stare at her so cut the shit.” Suguru’s voice gets dark, deep and authoritative, and Satoru frowns then.

“I didn’t say she’s ugly or something. As if that matters to her .”

“I’m right here, you know.” You cut in then, tilting your chin up, and Satoru stands up then, hands in his pockets.

“All right, surely you know the caliber of women I get. How do you stack up, short stuff?” He is right in front of you, bent down, and your tears escape, just two of them, but you quickly blink and look down.

“Satoru, I swear to fucking-”

“It’s fine, Suguru.” You whisper, swiping at your eyes then facing him, the man who so casually says you’re basically unattractive. “I’m sure you get much prettier women than me. I don’t think I’m very pretty, by the way.”

He glares then, a snarl on his lips. “You’re full of shit, I know you think you’re hot shit, I see it in the way you act, the way you walk.”

“You don’t know shit. You don’t know anything about me. You can call me ugly all the fuck you want but don’t pretend to know who I am inside.” He blinks his white lashes, leaning back a bit and opening his mouth.

“Baby…”

“I didn’t say you’re ugly, I just…”

“Said I’m nothing like girls you get. Said I’m not hot.”

“You’re not hot to me.”

“Good, I shouldn’t be! I’m not your girlfriend.”

“Well thank god I can’t imagine having to wake up and look at that face in the morning.” You back up then, and the tears do flow, and for just a moment you see Satoru’s face fall, as if maybe he realized how horrible he is.

But too late, you just want to leave.

“Satoru I’m fucking done, you- baby don’t go.” You shake your head as he holds on to you.

“I’ll leave and stop ruining your day. Have a good birthday, Gojo.” You murmur, and he opens his lips to say something, but you cut him off with a wave of your hand, leaning up to kiss Suguru then. “I overstepped.”

“You didn’t, he’s being-”

“Text me later.” He reaches for you but you turn and walk out the door, your chest heaving, trying not to show tears so embarrassingly in the busy office, struggling to just catch a breath.

Satoru’s POV

“I’m not going with you. I’m so fucking done. You’ve been a dick but this is too far even for you.” Suguru shoves Satoru then, and Satoru starts to hate himself, more than he already has been lately.

“She knows she’s gorgeous, she just wants attention.”

“You have no clue what she does or doesn’t know. When I met her she was so down on herself, it’s taken a lot just to get her to feel pretty, now you go and fuck that up for her.”

Satoru pauses, lips tensing as they are pressed together, and he sees you walk out of the office from the window, and when he sees you it hurts his heart. Your hands are in your face as if you’re crying into them, and that little pink dress and your long hair are flowing in the wind, you look like some painting out there, so perfect and tiny in the big city.

Fuck.

“I was just trying to get a rise-”

“She spent so much money on those. Just for you to maybe not hate her, and what do you do, make her cry? I’m done.”

“Suguru… I just didn’t think that someone who looks like that…”

“Like what?”

“She’s beautiful and yes I know she is. Not blind. How does she not know she is?” Satoru runs a hand through his silvery hair, and Suguru glares.

“So instead of saying that you make up some bullshit? Not like the girls you get!? She’s prettier than anyone you’ve fucked.”

Satoru lets out a dejected sigh. “Yeah. I know.”

“Then what… what the fuck is your problem! What has she ever done? She even tells me to hang out with you when I don’t want to.”

Satoru pauses. “She does?”

“Yeah, she sure does, or I wouldn’t talk to you aside from business. She pleads your case as you down her, trash her. I know it’s only been a few months, but she is important to me.” Satoru’s heart hurts, as he looks back out the window, and of course you’re gone, probably still crying because of him.

And he’d lied right to your face.

You believed him, too.

How? When you’re so beautiful, how could you not know how just your glittering eyes looking at him tear his heart out of his chest? And that was why Satoru hates you so very much, because of that.

How can he look at his best friend’s girl like that? No, he must hate you instead, because if he lets his guard down…

It’d be over for him.

“Satoru, you aren’t fucking listening.”

Satoru looks at his best friend, seeing the anguish in his face, and it makes him feel even worse. “Sorry. I’m sorry, okay?”

“How could you be so mean, even to a stranger let alone her? It’s not even like you. It’s like I don’t know who you are. And if this is jealousy for her time with me, she always makes sure we have time alone, so-”

“I know she does. I know she’s perfect. I know she’s beautiful. And, I know she is a sweet person who’s only been nice to me. Okay!?”

“So what the fuck-”

“I hate her.”

Suguru blinks in confusion, crossing his arms then, tilting his head to the side to study his best friend. “Why though?”

Satoru’s hands grip his desk so tightly the knuckles go white. “I don’t know what to tell you, I just do.”

“You want me to break up with her don’t you?”

“Yep.”

“So what, I can be miserable and lonely like you?”

“Fuck you, Sugu. I fuck plenty.”

“And I fuck plenty.”

“Her though.”

“Yeah, her but… we bring girls in.” Satoru blinks at that again, imagining you with another woman makes him stupidly hard in his trousers, and he huffs as he turns away so Suguru wouldn’t notice. “So surprised?”

“She seems like a goody goody.”

Why would Suguru want to fuck another girl anyway, when he had you ?

“Brought Utahime home last week and fucked her.” Satoru glares over at Suguru behind his shoulder.

“Both of you?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“And you eiffel towering over this girl too?”

“No. We haven’t done anything with a guy. She hasn’t wanted to, and yes, I offered. I am not one sided.”

“Hmm.” Is all Satoru answers, then Suguru breaks into a little laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“You wanna fuck her. How did I not see this?”

“Do not! What, no.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such a dick she’d go for it. She thinks you’re hot, you know.” Satoru frowns, turning back to Suguru then.

“What, like you all are poly? Why? Isn’t she… enough?”

“That’s a weird question from you. It’s just what works for us right now, but yes she would be enough for me if she wanted to go exclusive. I was already poly when we met, she was a little hesitant but jumped right into it.”

“Huh. Well, I don’t wanna fuck your girl. That would be…”

“Sure you don’t. It’s like when a kid picks on a girl, so childish. You could have just told me that you wanted to.”

It was beyond that. Satoru didn’t wanna just fuck you, he wanted to be with you, kiss you, worship you, fuck he wanted to breed you even, bend you over his desk and cum inside you. It was horrible, the thoughts, as he jerked off in his bed at night to one of your photos he’d sent himself from Suguru’s phone.

Yep it was that bad.

Even this offer? It would never work.

“Maybe just try to be nice, and spend the night.” Satoru looks at Suguru like he's lost it. How was he so calm about you? About sharing you?

“You want me to fuck your girl with you, Sugu? You crazy?”

“If it would get you all to get along, absolutely.”

“She hates me.”

“No, she should, but she doesn’t.” How could you not hate him? Satoru is wracking his brain, trying to figure you out. Were you perfect? “Anyway I’m out, at least ask her to go to the game with us, would you please? And apologize.”

“I can’t just text her.” Suguru rolls his eyes.

“Why not?”

Because he would lose his mind if your name popped up on his goddamn phone, that’s why.

“Tell her it’s fine if she comes. I’ll… apologize at the game.”

“That’s as good as it’ll get I suppose. Bye, asshole.”

Suguru leaves, and Satoru’s mind is a blur, as he digests the type of relationship you and Suguru clearly have, and it was not what he expected. Suguru damn near said ‘fuck my girl’. What would he even do if he touched you? If he tasted you. The thought makes his mouth water, makes his cock hard.

Did you taste as good as you smell? Fuck.

He wouldn’t even wanna share you if you were his, not even with his best friend. Luckily he hates you. Right?

***

Your POV

You’re at the basketball game the next day, dressed up in the white and blue little outfit Suguru had picked out for you, the team’s colors, and you sit awkwardly next to Satoru and Suguru. Satoru has barely talked to you all night, but he’s been nothing but civil, which is as good as you can imagine.

You don’t know why he even invited you after the way he talked to you yesterday, and he sure has not apologized, but here you are. It did take some convincing from Suguru though.

(earlier that day)

“Ah, Sugu… oh f-fuck yes, there there!” Suguru’s tongue was lavishing your little clit, and he sucked it into his mouth, chocolate eyes darting up your body as he hummed on it, making you fall apart under him. “S’good… oh my…”

You’re cumming all over Suguru Geto’s handsome face, and he pulls back with a grin, licking his lips, half his face covered in your arousal. “Princess, I could do this all fucking day. Tastes so good.”

“Sugu… you’re so… mnh!” He’s slid a long finger in you now, curling it up just so, and you see stars then. Suguru could play your little cunt like it was an instrument, his fingers finding that little spot and hitting it again and again.

“Cum again for me, please, Princess.” He cooes the words, and you just arch your hips up as he grabs the fat of your ass, using his fingers and tongue in sync, until you’re completely spent, cumming all over his hands as he sips you up.

“Oh my God, Sugu.” You mumble, left incoherent when he leans over you, kissing your lips softly. You moan into it, clinging to him.

“You have the best little pussy.” You flush then.

“You don’t have to say that, I know you enjoy…” Huh, does it hurt your feelings a bit? No it can’t.

“Sure I do enjoy, but I mean it. The best.” He kisses your lips softly. “You’re my favorite.”

You for some reason doubt it.

You hate that.

“What’s wrong Princess? He has you that down? Imma beat his ass when I see him.” You shake your head, sighing then. “He said he thinks you’re beautiful, you know, and that he was surprised you believed him.”

“That’s… no. Just no. I don’t believe that for shit.”

“He did say it. I know he’s being awful but I almost think it’s because he wants to fuck you.”

“What!?” Your brows raise at that, and Suguru sighs, brushing back your hair then.

“We have played with what, four women now? Haven’t you thought of playing with a guy?”

“Are you into guys? I don’t mind if you want to…”

“No, but I’m very comfortable, especially with Satoru. And you’re not very experienced, you know, it could be fun for you. I’m like the only guy you’ve been with damn near.”

“What you’re hinting at is insane. I know you shared women but they weren’t girlfriends or anything right?”

“No, they weren’t. But sometimes I wonder if you all need to fuck this frustration on each other.”

“Satoru would never wanna fuck me.”

“Baby…”

“What, did you not hear him?”

“Yeah I did, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But let’s not bullshit here, the man can’t get his goddamn eyes off you.”

“In hatred! Anyway no, just no. It would never happen.”

“So you don’t wanna fuck him, hmm?” Suguru grasps you by your wrists then, and you shake your head, crying out when he slides his fingers down your tummy, trembling under his hand. “What about if I have him eat this pretty pussy while you suck my cock?”

“Suguru, what!? Like he would. Silly- mnh… stop.” He’s rubbing your little entrance, and you start soaking his hand, embarrassingly.

“Don’t want us both to eat you out, at the same time?” You whine, pathetically, as Suguru grins then, so handsome and devious. “She sure does.”

“She’s stupid. I only want you.” Then you frown a bit, as you think of the situation you two are in. “S-Suguru… will you always want other women?”

He frowns too, shaking his head, kissing down your jaw. “If you ever wanted to be exclusive I would for you, Princess. Say the word.”

“Would it be like a sacrifice-”

“Not at all. I love the fun we have though. But I would not care if it didn’t happen. I think I need to give you some fun, make you feel so beautiful.” He's trailing his hands down your body ever so slowly, and your mind runs wild with visions.

“With Satoru, no, he… would never make me feel that way. Suguru, mnh… please just-”

“Why are you soaking my hand when you say his name?” He whispers those words, and you falter, as images of Satoru hit your eyes, and Suguru's fingers are getting soaked. You shake them away, but Suguru is observant. “He would only be so lucky to fuck you.”

“Do you think I’m really so pretty? When you have others that…”

“The prettiest. Prettiest tits, prettiest face, prettiest pussy.” You melt then, because no matter what fun you all have, it’s always together (exceptions would be when you all agree video is okay) and Suguru always makes you feel special. Maybe you worry too much.

“What if you find someone better?”

“Baby, what’s up with you?” He pulls back and you just sigh. “If this isn’t what you want just tell me...”

“I’m just down on myself.” You pout, and you watch Suguru's concern.

“I know, baby, I am so sorry.” He kisses you sweetly, and you melt, like you always do. “I’ll make sure he’s not a dick anymore. I swear. Trust me.”

“I don’t wanna go, though.”

“Then he wins, fuck that, go and look super hot, and ruin his little pea size brain okay?” You laugh just a bit, but things weigh on you.

Your relationship with Geto is so easy…

Aside from his dick of a friend.

Who hates you.

And who you're vividly picturing. Fuck.

Present

You keep your hands to yourself, your knees knocking together as you watch the game, the men running back and forth, dribbling the ball, throwing it, their sneakers squeaking on polished floors. Your eyes keep drifting over to him, though, and you notice Satoru’s eyes keep straying to your body, making you overheat.

The way his gaze lingers on your legs makes you squirm in your seat, and you can’t help but feel a thrill run through you, despite the tension. His icy glare is gone now, replaced with something softer, something that makes your stomach flip, his lips weren’t in a thin line, they were pouting just a bit. Suguru has a hand on your thigh, and he squeezes it, smiling.

You smile back at him. Why were you in the middle? Was this Suguru’s idea of making you all closer? But why does Satoru’s thigh brushing against yours do insane things to your psyche? Why does the scent of his cologne make you ache to snuggle him when he’s a damn asshole, when he would never want that.

You adore Suguru, when you met him at first it intimidated you, this wild lifestyle he led, but then he made you feel so good, and so included, that you ended up enjoying much of it. And several times now he’d brought up sharing you, only recently today sharing you with him . If Satoru didn’t hate you and call you unattractive, absolutely you would have.

But as it stood, you could tell he hates sitting next to you.

“I’m grabbing drinks, want one Princess?” Suguru asks, touching your hand to shake you out of your reverie. You have to strain to hear him in the loud throngs of the crowd cheering.

“I’ll go-”

“It’s fine, I got it. Satoru, you want a drink?” Satoru peers over at you, and you don’t see the usual anger, it’s a different look. You can’t put your finger on it, but it’s different for sure.

“Yeah, can you just grab me a beer?” Suguru nods, looking back at you again, and you fidget, afraid to be alone with Satoru, even in a crowd.

“Same, please and thanks.” He smiles, leaning down and kissing you then, and he walks away, leaving the two of you awkwardly alone.

The team hits a big play, and you jump up with your little pom poms, wiggling them in the air, as Satoru jumps and shouts loudly. You all bump into each other a bit, and it makes you both tense, pulling away a bit. You scooch further from him when you all sit down again, but he spreads his stupidly long legs even wider, his hand resting next to you.

“I’m sorry I came along.” You say softly, and he looks back at you, sighing a bit, and his eyes make you lose your senses for a moment.

“Don’t be. Suguru wouldn’t come without you.” He brushes that off, so casually, and though that was the truth it was a little harsh to know.

“He would have, I would have made him.”

“Yeah well. It’s not like I’m paying attention to you, I’m watching the game anyway, so it doesn't matter.”

“Yeah, true. Though I wish Suguru would sit here.”

“Don’t like to sit next to me huh?” You roll your eyes, irritated by his haughty tone, and laugh just a bit, without humor.

“As if you like this.” He just studies you, and you almost wish he’d just be mean, because that’s easier to handle than whatever this intense fucking look is.

“Have I complained?”

“Because Suguru asked you to not be so mean.”

“Yeah well.”

No apology, of course. When would someone like Satoru Gojo apologize to you, of all people? You peer over at him in that white dress shirt and those slacks that hug him like a glove, his shades shoved up on his head worth more than your life. The glinting gold watch, where his sleeves rolled up, revealing toned arms with veins wrapped around them.

You turn your attention back to the game, which was going into a bit of a break, leaving you even more awkward next to the man who hates you.

“Can I ask something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Why do you hate me so much? Like… did I offend you or something? Could you please just tell me what to do here?” You’re whispering it, since the words make you emotional, and Satoru’s lips turn down, brushing his silvery hair back with a hand, messing it up just a bit.

“You don’t need to know.” He says, and you glare then.

“I think I have a right to know. I can fix it? Maybe?”

“Can’t fix this.”

“Let me try maybe? I want to meet this amazing, funny, sweet guy Suguru swears you are, the one he loves so much.” You reach your hand out to his thigh, and he glares at it, then at you, his hand yanking yours off then, by your delicate wrist. You blink in confusion.

“You can’t fix why I hate you. Got it? And that doesn’t help. Makes it so much fucking worse.” He mumbles, not letting go of your wrist, his huge hand gripping it, taking it over.

“Sorry.”

“Why, you didn’t do anything. I hate you for nothing that you can control, does that make it better, knowing that?”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You make no sense. If you just tried to know me, you’d see I’m not the worst person ever. Regardless of how you think of my looks, you won’t even give me a chance internally.”

He lets your wrist go, sighing and looking into your eyes, but there’s not the usual anger even now. “I shouldn’t have said that yesterday.”

“Thank you for that. Even if you feel that way it’s just not nice to tell people that they’re… unattractive. Promise I say it in my own mind enough.”

“Then you’re stupid.”

“So I’m unattractive, and stupid, and you hate me.” You look down, those words wrecking you again, and you try not to show any emotion.

“You really think you’re not beautiful?” Your eyes meet, and he looks angry, again at you. You sigh, as your inner turmoil rages looking at him.

“I don’t think I’m beautiful at all. Lately I have been feeling pretty, thanks to Suguru, but that’s kind of new. It doesn’t matter anyway. If you think I’m ugly you don’t have to say it, or judge me for it. It doesn’t matter as much as who I am.”

“So you think what I said is true?”

“I’m sure you and Suguru both get much prettier girls. It’s fine. You’re both very attractive men.” Satoru stares at you more, and it makes you feel so confused, so weird, he won’t stop looking right at you. “What!?”

“You’re not unattractive. At all. I can’t believe I have to say this.”

“You don’t have to. Suguru put you up to-”

“You’re so beautiful all I can think of is how I wanna bury my cock in your pretty mouth.” His words are dangerous whispers, his hands gripping your thighs tight suddenly, and you can’t even think, your body reacting instantly, embarrassingly. “Can’t stop thinking about how badly I wanna fuck you over my desk. How I’d lick that little cunt right now with this stupid skirt driving me nuts.”

“Satoru… what…” You hate what his words do, what this asshole friend of your boyfriend says, his effect. Your nipples are taut against your bra, your tummy feeling that pressure, thighs shifting, and his gaze drops to them like a hawk.

“That’s why I hate you. Because all I think of is fucking my best friend’s girl. And yeah, he even brought it up, what you all do. Wanna know what I think?” He’s brushing your hair back behind your ear, and you’re losing all sense of self, everything fades to the background.

“What do you think?” He laughs, darkly then, his white teeth glinting from the bright fluorescents above.

“That if I had you I’d never want anyone else. That if I had to share you I’d be greedy. I’d lick you first, fuck you first, fuck you so good you can’t even think, can’t even walk. Wreck that little cunt.” His husky words shoot straight through you, the way he looks at you, this hunger in his gaze, it’s insane.

“Are you just fucking with me, Gojo? Is this a joke?” You demand through gritted teeth, and then he laughs again, but it doesn’t hit his eyes, the pupils so dilated the blue was truly hard to handle.

“I wish it was. I hate you because you’re you . You can’t fucking fix it, you can’t buy me expensive tickets, smile at me all pretty, it all makes it worse. Makes me want you more. And so I just hate you completely.”

You take a moment, struggling to process anything he was even saying, as your gaze drifts down his long, lithe body. Although you’d seen Suguru with women, and you’d been with women, you had never felt something like this, intense need clawing away at you. Even with Suguru, who you have such a good time with, you never felt whatever this is.

Was it hate?

What was it?

“I know, you’re so in love you won’t even fuck another guy when Suguru asks too. Loyal when he’s not.”

“We do everything together, or… like I know what he does. He doesn’t hide shit from me, Gojo. He treats me so good.”

“I am sure he does. He’s the best person I know. I just can’t see a world where I have you and want someone.”

His words hit too hard. It's so shocking from his usually cruel lips. “That’s crazy talk, you know, especially…”

“I didn’t mean what I said. Okay? Fucking stupid to think I did.”

“Aw you two are making up, huh?” Suguru sits next to you, handing you both a drink then, and you and Satoru tense up, as your mind whirls. “So, you all gonna fuck this frustration out or what?”

Your eyes go wide with shock, mouth dropping, and you shake your head quickly while you look at him. “Suguru, you can’t be serious about this.”

“Why not. Shoko is coming over tomorrow anyway, why don't we three party tonight.” He winks over at Satoru then.

“You’re gonna fuck Shoko, yuck.”

“Yep and you’re gonna fuck Princess here.” He pats your head, smiling, his eyes closing so adorably like he isn’t talking insane. “What, why can’t you have fun?”

“She doesn’t wanna fuck me.” Satoru says casually, and you gulp then, as he straight up says something so…

False.

“Are you sure about that?” Suguru murmurs, brushing your hair back until it is no longer on your chest, pulling your top back just a bit, and you feel yourself heating up when he’s got your hard nipples basically pressed against the top now. Satoru’s sultry blue gaze hits your breasts, lingering there. “Looks pretty excited to me.”

“Suguru!” You hiss, scowling back at his devious grin, but Satoru is licking his lower lip, making it all glossy, and one of his hands keeps clenching and unclenching into a fist.

“Nothing could make me happier than you two getting along, at least give it a chance. What if you like it, hmm?” He’s nuzzling your neck, and you shift in your seat, biting the inside of your cheek for a moment.

“So you think I’ll fuck her and stop hating her?” Satoru drawls out the words slowly, and Suguru is just rubbing up and down your waist, heightening every insane sensation.

“It’s so good I know you will.”

“Suguru… I doubt that.” You mumble, shyly fidgeting with your thumbs, rolling them around over and over.

“What if I still hate her? Do I get to keep fucking her?” Satoru’s question throws you for a loop, the intent behind his stupidly pretty gaze washing over you, and you feel Suguru’s chuckle behind you.

“No, you have to be nice to her if you want to again.” You scowl at him, then over at Gojo.

“Do I not get a say? I’m not a fuck toy.” You hiss, and Gojo actually smiles then, and it surprises you, how pretty it is. Suguru kisses your neck, laughing against it, while you nervously sip your drink.

“Being out fuck toy does sound fun.” Suguru says softly. “It would be fun for you, too, don’t you think?”

“You really want me to wreck her? She won’t even want you again.” Satoru says, grinning, and Suguru just laughs, grinning back.

“Yeah, you can try but we all know it’s not happening.”

“Have I agreed?”

“Bet she’s soaked.” Suguru is lifting your skirt, in the middle of a game, even though you all were off in a section this was insane, and Satoru’s eyes dart down between your thighs, and you can’t hold in the little whine. “Feel her and find out for me, would you?”

“She doesn’t want me to.” Satoru’s voice is husky, then you feel your thin control snap, as you say fuck it all and take his hand. You meet his shocked gaze, then you look around, and put his hand on your thigh.

“Stop acting like you know me, Gojo.” You raise your brows then, and his smirk eats at you, his thumb sliding against your soft inner thigh making goosebumps prick along your skin.

“Y’know this is the most you have gotten along.”

“Am I up to caliber, though?” You whisper those words, and Gojo’s hand slides even further up, all while his other hand brushes against your hip, nearly touching Suguru’s hand.

“We’ll have to see huh?”

“Cocky little shit.”

“Oooh, so she does have some backbone huh?” Satoru’s grinning at you, with those sharp fangs glinting, lashes lowering over his eyes. And you feel Suguru’s grip tighten on your waist.

“Fuck you, Gojo.” Suguru snorts behind you.

“Okay… sex?” You both scowl over to Suguru again.

Sex, with Satoru Gojo?

“Why don’t you just fuck him, hmm?”

“Who’s to say he hasn’t?” Satoru blows Suguru a kiss and you sigh.

“Am I really gonna do this! With Satoru Gojo?”

“You should be so lucky, damn brat-”

“Satoru….” Suguru starts again, exhaustion clear in his voice.

“Listen, I didn’t turn it down.” He slides his hand fully up, and when his thumb presses where you’re hot and sticky against your panties, his breath hitches, as does yours, both of you just stare at each other, unable to speak. For a long moment, until his thumb rubs in a gentle circle and you damn near whimper.

Fuck.

Yep you were going to do this.

***

In the car on the way home you are sitting next to Satoru and Suguru as their driver Kiyotaka takes you all back to Suguru’s place. Satoru is oddly quiet, you notice, poking around on his phone. You know he still hates you, but his hand is casually on your thigh now, rubbing in little circles, and Suguru is smiling down at you, popping little kisses on your forehead.

“You sure like her thighs for hating her so much.” Suguru murmurs lazily, and Satoru smirks, not looking up from his phone.

“I didn’t say I hate her body. Quite the opposite.” You struggle against the feelings raging inside of you. You had never done anything like this, as wild as you and Suguru were with women, it seemed so different, especially with Satoru. His hands are so big, even bigger than Suguru’s, his fingers are so long they take up most of your thigh.

“You like my legs hmm?” You say softly, and Satoru does lift his gaze from his phone, amused expression clear on his features.

“They’re really short, but they’re nice.” You laugh a bit at that, and it’s the first time you think you’ve laughed around him. His grip tightens a bit at the sound.

“Is that almost a compliment?” He shrugs a shoulder, poking back at his phone then.

“Bet they’d be nice around my face.” Your tummy clenches again at the words, at the imagery, and Suguru seems to pick up on that, his hand coming to your other thigh now, bringing your attention to him.

“You like that idea, Princess?” His voice is teasing, and you gulp, trying not to give Satoru so much satisfaction. But you just give a little nod. “Look at you two, I’m so proud right now.”

“Okay dad.” Satoru leans back some, his thighs even wider, god could he just sit normal you wonder, not pressed so against you. Suguru is the same way, and you’re pressed in the middle of the two of them, your body viscerally reacts, to the point you’re overheated.

“Wonder who you’ll call daddy?” Suguru teases you, and you flush.

“It’ll be me.” Satoru says, cocky and self assured.

“Nah, totally me.”

“Neither of you.” You say, crossing your arms, and they both look at each other, then back at you, grinning.

“You challenging us right now? That won’t end well for you.” Satoru says softly, leaning close, your breath catches with how he looks at you, so intent, his lips tempting you too closely.

Before you can speak, you’ve pulled up to Suguru’s place, and you thankfully can get out of the car, breathe air, but you now have no clue what you’re in for. The way Satoru’s hungry, lewd gaze and Suguru’s easy seductive one glaze over your body, the heat you clearly feel from both of them, the tension between the man who hates you and the man that really likes you…

What are you in for?

And in what world does it end well?”

***

Satoru’s POV

Satoru watches as Suguru leads you, hand in hand to his sleek condo, and as he looks around he wonders, where does he fuck you, where does he lick you? Where does he fuck other women with you? And why the fuck does that thought make him so angry for you. He loves Suguru, and he himself was quite open sexually, this isn’t the first time he and Suguru would share.

But he can’t even imagine having to take turns.

He wants to bring you back to his place, to fuck you senseless, make you forget anything you ever knew. He’d felt your heat, felt that sticky wetness, your soft skin… it was something that he had avoided, touching you in any way. He knew it would make everything ten times worse, and so it did.

When you turn to look up at him, with your gorgeous eyes, your lips parted just slightly, hair a little messy from the day, falling softly around your face… it takes everything in him not to throw you against a wall and fuck into you. It takes every effort not to snatch you up and literally be a horrible friend, take you away, this is what you do to him.

It’s why he hates you.

What effect did you have? And how the fuck could he take turns on you? But he can’t turn it down, no, he needs to feel you, and if this is how it happens, he’ll do it. Satoru Gojo is desperate for you, and that’s something he’s never been in his life, shit came easy for him. Why were you so difficult?

“Drinks? Let’s get drinks.” Suguru pats Satoru on the shoulder, then pats you on the ass, pressing you two together a bit. You look down shyly, long lashes casting shadows on your pretty features.

God you’re perfect, aren’t you?

“Still hate you.” Satoru mumbles, and you just look at him, brows furrowing a little bit, licking your lips and tempting him to no end. How would they feel on his cock, that little tongue sliding against his tip?

“I know you hate me. So why are you doing this?” You whisper, as you two awkwardly stand in Suguru’s living room alone, far too close. Satoru towers over you, you’re so small compared to him. He sees you’re nervous too.

“You’re stupid.” You scowl up at him, and fuck if you’re not stupidly hot when you do so. “I already told you why.”

“But it’s… not… you won’t… what if you don’t like it?” You mumble, and he watches insecurities eat you alive, how had he not noticed before? He just assumed because you’re so pretty you knew.

“What, you need practice sucking dick? Heard you like to eat pussy.” You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. “Or are you a pillow Princess?”

“I like to please.” Your eyes hit his body then, desire reflected in them, and he itches to touch you, he itches to be sweet to you, but he can’t. Nope.

“We’ll see if it’s passable. If not, I'll give some tips.” You laugh, a little bark of laughter, shaking your head.

“Suguru likes it just fine.”

“I sure do. She’s great at blow jobs.” Suguru hands you both a drink, and Satoru can’t stop his gaze locked on those supple, full lips of yours. “Guess what, believe it or not Satoru’s good at eating pussy. From what I’ve seen. But, I’m better.”

“No way, you know I’d win.” Suguru looks at you, and you’re all flushed in the cheeks as you delicately sip your drink. Why is every movement you make just torturing him?

“He’s really, really good though. Licked an accidental I love you out of me.” You tease, and Suguru laughs at that, but you look a little sad he notices.

“Ya didn’t say it back, Sugu?” Suguru grows serious for a moment at Satoru’s obvious question.

“It’s just still early, and she kind of… took it back.”

“I was embarrassed for sure.”

Imagine those words from your lips. Satoru’s grip is so tight on the glass he feels it will just break, shutting his eyes for a moment and sucking in a breath. Was he really going down this path, knowing what would happen when you would touch him, when he would taste you? Knowing he’d get more obsessed, fuck it was just so much easier to hate you.

But how could he turn it down?

It would be such a shitshow but so worth it.

“We’ll have to see who’s better, huh?” Suguru teases, smirking over at Satoru, and he just eyes your perfect little form slowly, humming to himself.

“First, less clothes.” Satoru says softly, and watches your nervous habits, how you bite your lower lip so hard you leave teeth marks, how your hands tremble as you set your drink down. “You're scared, huh?”

“Nope. Sure not.” He smirks at you, but that freezes when you slip your shaky little fingers to your top, popping open one button, then the other, and he has to grip the fuck out of the counter next to him. Your soft, supple skin is revealed with each one, until your breasts spill out, just left in a lacy blue bra.

Fuck he could cum just seeing you.

“Not bad.” He is so full of shit, and Suguru is rolling his eyes, you blink a little, looking down. Fuck he hates himself. But if he’s sweet to you… “Let’s see the rest then I’ll judge.”

“She’s beautiful.” Suguru comes and you lift your long hair out of the way, and he easily unsnaps your bra, then slides it down your shoulders, kissing them, the way Satoru wants to, but he wouldn’t be gentle like Suguru, not if you were his. He would suck and bite every inch of your skin. “There we go, Princess.”

He lets your bra fall to the floor, and you’re bare from the waist up, and he sees them then, your lush breasts, perfect and pretty. Your little nipples are puffy and pronounced, begging for his mouth on them, for his fingers to pinch them. And you just stand there, your shoulders set high, as Satoru eats you up, and fuck if you’re not the most perfect thing he’s seen.

Suguru looks at Satoru, his dark eyes seductive in their glint, as if he could tell how badly Satoru wants you. Your perfect breasts are heaving with your panting little breaths, while Suguru is running his hands down your slender little arms. You look at Satoru, then Suguru, then down, as if you’re a little shy finally.

“Um… up to caliber?” You ask, and he hears it, the bitterness in your sultry little voice. And you should be bitter, mad, fuck you shouldn’t let him see this, should you? But here you are, and you look so fucking gorgeous he can’t take it.

He steps up to you then, taking two fingers and tilting your chin up, looking into those eyes he’d made cry yesterday. “Gorgeous.”

You gasp, and Suguru grins then, pecking a little kiss on your neck, as Satoru’s hands trail down your face, your throat, that delicate collarbone, and he watches your breaths increase. He can hear that little whine you try to hide from the back of your throat, he can feel your energy, your heat near him.

“Told you, baby. You’re beautiful.” Suguru is right, of course he is, and Satoru is damn near speechless at a pair of tits, it’s pathetic. You make him pathetic, don’t you, it’s why…

He should hate you.

No he does hate you.

But…

“Thank you… both.” You whisper, and Satoru doesn’t deserve your thanks, for one stupid word, when you were so much more.

You should hate him.

Why don’t you?

“Why don’t you feel them, Satoru? How nice they are.” Suguru is running his hand around your waist, pressing your breasts up then, and you’re crying out softly, that pleasure on your face making you so sexy. Satoru’s hands slide down, and he feels them, the weight in his hands, and he can’t hold back his own moan then.

Your eyes fly to his, as he cups your breasts in his big hands, and he sees it then, clear as fucking day. You want him. As his thumbs brush your nipples, and your head leans back, for Suguru’s mouth to kiss up the side of it, one of your little hands clutch his shirt, pulling him closer, the other, on one of Suguru’s arms.

“Perfect.” Satoru says softly, and you gasp, but then Satoru leans so close to your lips, you start to shake in Suguru’s hold.

“Perfect.” Suguru agrees, and Satoru watches you melt then, as his lips descend, and he can taste your sweet breath on his lips, it intoxicates him to no end. “You gonna kiss him, Princess?”

You lean up, as he leans down, and your hand slides up to Satoru’s face then, so tiny, a thumb swiping over his lower lip, and then Satoru’s eyelids are low over his eyes, as he presses his lips to yours. You moan at it, so quiet he almost couldn’t hear, vibrating his lips, and then Satoru knows it, knows it when he melts into your kiss, knows it when his tongue swipes into your hot mouth.

It’s all over for him.

And he hates you for it.

***

Your POV

Satoru’s lips send electrical sparks through yours, it’s absolutely insane, as his big hands knead your breasts, and Suguru is hard against your lower back, his big hands on your hips, pressing. But when Satoru’s tongue slides in your mouth, and you drink in his moans? When you taste his breath, when you feel that slick start to dribble from your little cunt?

Fuck. This is bad, it’s bad. It’s bad.

“Hate you.” He whispers then, right on your lips, right when his eyes drink you in lazily, when he squishes your breasts in his hands. It was so quiet you don’t even think he spoke, more moved his lips and you understood.

Satoru Gojo hates you.

Right?

Chapter 2

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58179796/chapters/148138651

[ryuichirou]

TWST boys’ type HCs

We’ve had a couple of pretty similar HC prompts in our askbox for a while now, and today we got another one that is kind of similar to it as well. There are sooome differences to them, but I figured it’ll make sense to write one list for all of them!

Thank you so much for your questions <3 And I am very sorry for the wait, especially to the first two Anons who’s been waiting for months…

Anonymous asked:

I apologize if this has been asked before but do you have any headcanons on what body parts the twst boys have a particular liking for? You know like who’s a leg guy, who likes the booty, who prefers thighs, etc.

Anonymous asked:

What is each of the twst boys’ type both personality and looks-wise? Is there anything that’s an automatic NO?

Anonymous asked:

Are the twst boys physically attracted to their lovers? What’s their favorite part and why?

Overall, here are our questions: What is his type personality-wise/appearance-wise? What is his favourite body part? How strongly he is physically attracted to his partner? I’ll try to answer all of them…

I’ll also try to keep in mind canon trivia as much as possible, but let’s be honest – I don’t remember everything lol Also, a lot of these boys aren’t fully aware of their types and feelings.

Riddle – in theory, his type would be someone who takes care of him, spoils him and soothes him, but in actuality I think he falls for people that excite him lol Without fully realising it, too. This is why he ends up getting conflicting feelings towards Floyd of all people. Ironically, he is terrified of repeating his parents’ mistakes and spending his life with someone he always viciously fight with, but I guess he’s self-sabotaging oops. In terms of appearance, he is definitely attracted to taller and bigger men LOL (he doesn’t realise that...) The ones that would drown him… in embrace, of course! I think his favourite body parts are arms, hands and, interestingly, chest. I also think physical attraction plays a bigger role in his life than he cares to admit; somehow, despite how sentimental and inexperienced he is, I see him as someone who would get very into someone’s appearance (and would be oblivious about it).

Ace – this bitch outed himself in the Ghost Marriage event: he wants to be with someone he would have fun hanging out with, but also someone who he could be honest with, fight with, someone who would call out his bullshit as much as he would call out theirs, so yeah Deuce Spade lol Ace just wants a partner who is also a buddy… But in terms of his physical type, he seemed to express several times that he finds Epel attractive?? I guess your type and your ideal partner aren’t necessarily the same thing. Maybe this is also why Ace has complicated relationship with Riddle – he definitely thinks he’s cute on some level. As wholesome as it might sound, I think Ace likes long lashes… But he also strikes me as someone who is very into legs, and not necessarily soft “girly” legs. No matter who he ends up dating, he would be very physically attracted to them, even to the aspects of their appearance he wasn’t initially interested in.

Deuce – serious, reliable and responsible older men do things to his heart… and even just older men who look like they have their shit together. In a way, he’s always been drawn to his senpais (who weren’t very responsible but) or any other older male figure that felt like a perfect and shiny example of what Deuce wants to be. In reality, it was just Deuce wanting to be with these men lol I think taller men make him feel things too, but his favourite features are a face (handsome!) and probably arms. In general, Deuce is very physical and, similarly to Ace, would be very into his partner’s entire body.

Trey  – as everyone’s caretaker, he would be attracted to someone who allows him to take care of him… to an uncomfortable degree. I guess that would mean that he likes helpless people, in a way, which sounds very mean somehow lol In terms of physical attraction, he definitely has a bias towards more petit people, and I think OTHER THAN TEETH he is very drawn towards small hands, big eyes and let’s be honest, he is mostly into Riddle lol But he would go even more feral over Riddle if he was a little bit more plump… Trey is working on it, alright? Also, somehow despite a very clear type, Trey finds himself attracted to thighs in general. He is also very physically attracted to his partner, even if he doesn’t seem like it, he’s constantly losing his mind in his head.

Cater – I think Cater has his actual type (someone who he could be honest with and someone who would ground him) and an “ohh that’s totally my type!”. The second one is all over the place because he flirts with people left and right, but I think one way to describe it would be cool/shiny. All of his exes were either local school stars, or someone who is a good musician, or someone who was very cool to take selfies with. Cater’s “first layer” is superficial, but it’s because he never got to know people properly and never really had a chance to connect with anyone. Alright, before it gets too depressing: good fashion sense! Long fingers! Good smell! And of course, BUTTS! But even then there isn’t anything specific appearance-wise that Cater is looking for. He just wants to go “woah”.

Leona – I don’t know if this could be considered a type, but Leona prefers people who take care of him, but don’t make it very obvious that they do or don’t act like a caretaker. Ruggie works because he complains all the time, there is this feeling that he does it for his own benefit. In terms of appearance, unfortunately Ruggie is way off because Leona is drawn to strong men with good build, but at the same time they have to be low-key about it so Leona doesn’t feel a threat to his ego I mean, doesn’t feel the urge to assert dominance. He does want his partner to overpower him, but in a very specific way I guess. He is also all about physical attraction.

Ruggie – what he needs is a “partner in crime” that shares his worldview and also respects his boundaries, which sounds nice, but for Ruggie it’s more of a “I’m doing my own thing, you’re doing your own thing, but we’re working towards the same goal somewhat”. Anyways, he isn’t super interested in finding someone like this, it’s more of a “if I end up with someone, it’s better be this kind of person”. It’s not like he has a physical type but… I think he is drawn towards meaty people. I think he loves big thighs, heavy butts, huge arms and fat tits.

Jack – oh he has very specific ideas for who he wants his partner to be because he is very determined to be with one person for his entire life – this is how things are in his family, after all. He is such a monogamist it hurt… He needs someone who is very into constant self-improving, but also isn’t a chore to be with emotionally. Ironically, I think both Deuce and Vil suit him well in that regard lol In terms of physical appearance, he loves athletic bodies and muscles, but he isn’t super into someone huge and beefy like him. I think he also loves butts a lot, but he is extremely shy about it…

Azul – in his head, his type is someone who is at the same time on the same level with him in terms of skill and potential, but also someone who is easy to bully because Azul still wants to always have the upperhand. In actuality, Azul kind of wants someone he could ease up with a liiittle bit. Not too much though. This is why even though I love both ships, I think Azul/Idia would have more longevity: Azul is crushing HARD on Jamil, but he would never allow him to get closer even if Jamil himself was willing. With Idia though, Azul is somehow more chill. Maybe it’s because Idia is easier to bully lol In terms of appearance though, I think it’s… Jamil again. Azul is so physically attracted to Jamil it makes him a bit feral. His hair, his body, his face, his hands – everything. I think he loves longer hair in general, but also elegant hands and pretty faces – those are parts he loves in Idia very much as well.

Jade – someone who wouldn’t bore him, someone who would always keep him guessing. It’s very difficult to fit his type, he is more difficult to excite than Floyd in general. But he would still love someone who would share his hobbies (mountains, mushrooms, teasing Azul)~ Until they become boring, of course. I also don’t think he has a type in terms of physical appearance – he is pretty open to anything, as long as it’s interesting and hopefully weird, and he would probably consider having a preference limiting somehow, even if it’s just in theory. That being said… He is somewhat interested in people’s necks. But also, since he is a merman, he is a liiiiittle bit into legs, because those are very new to him.

Floyd – he is the heartthrob out of the two tweels, and his romantic and sexual interest is higher than Jade’s, but his type personality-wise is pretty similar: he doesn’t want anyone who would bore him. At the same time, he is also attracted to people who can take him, meaning those who are strong enough to make him shut up somehow. This was Riddle’s mistake when they first met: Floyd was so impressed by his strength that he got obsessed instantly. Something similar happened with Vil during Beanfest too. At the same time, both Jade and he get very into those who hide from them because it feels like the person is teasing (hi Idia) them… In terms of appearance though, Floyd is also pretty omnivorous, but he still loooooves little cuties with feisty personalities. If a boy looks like Floyd could chomp his skull in half, he is into him. If the boy looks like Floyd could break his wrists but just squeezing them, he is into him. If the boy is very angry and fussy at the same time, man, Floyd wants to eat him alive. Maybe this is why he likes Epel too. He also loves chest because there are nipples there and they’re fun to rub against ahem. Also… I hate to say it, but probably feet :(

Kalim – I honestly don’t think he has a type, but he would prefer someone whom he could have fun with! Of course, Kalim doesn’t think there are people whom he wouldn’t have fun with…  But unintentionally, I also think he is drawn to those who aren’t super ready to open up to him from the get-go. Maybe it’s because he feels like it’s his mission to make that person open up? Look at Kalim, making projects out of people lol In terms of appearance, he sees beauty in a lot of people, but realistically, he is probably drawn to a lot of Jamil’s characteristics: his arms, his stomach, his face, his hair, his back – this is just what Kalim subconsciously would consider to be very attractive, without necessarily understanding that he’s describing Jamil. If he had to pick one thing though… Neck. Kalim wants to dive into his lover’s neck and collarbone and just smell it. And then hair too…

Jamil – similar to Ruggie’s type in theory, but in practice Jamil is drawn towards those who are somewhat domineering – he kind of enjoys it too much whenever Kalim has to pretend to be very dominating and scary (like during one of the Halloween events) lol I think to him it’s more of a guilty pleasure though; as he starts thinking about it, it feels wrong in every possible way. I also don’t think he has a type in terms of physical attraction. If the body is attractive, it’s attractive: I think Jamil is more drawn towards the attitude than any physical traits. But if he absolutely had to pick one body part to be attracted to, it’s forearms. His are better though.

Vil – someone who is passionate, determined and hardworking, but also someone who gets him and is honest with him. It’s also pretty important to Vil that he could share his interests and passions with that person, which is why Rook pretty much speedran the entire “getting closer” thing with Vil that would usually take much longer lol Vil gets very soft when he is in his element, after all. He also tends to fall for people with headstrong and somewhat stubborn personalities for some reason, even though he himself is very bossy and in theory would want his partner to be more obedient... In terms of appearance, I think Vil tends to prefer someone on a manlier side, but not overly masculine (no beard!) + he is attracted to buff people with strong bodies. He loves big thighs and strong necks, and it’s not unusual for him to feel butterflies in his stomach because of his lover’s body… He also would obviously demand his partner to always be super clean, but in actuality there is a certain level of body odour that he doesn’t mind and finds kind of attractive. What are those, pheromones?

Rook – both in terms of personality and appearance, Rook is in love with anyone and everyone! He is enamoured by a lot of people, so naturally there are a lot of things that he finds attractive that contradict each other: he loves Vil’s strong personality, but he also loves Idia’s shyness, he loves Epel’s naiveté, but he also loves wisdom and deep thinking behind Jamil’s eyes. Same with bodies: he loves Vil’s legs, he loves Leona’s mane, he loves Malleus’ horns, he loves Deuce’s calves, he loves Silver’s chest, the list goes on and on… And whoever he is with, while he is with that person, he is the most physically attracted to someone person in the world. For the window of time he is with that person, he is obsessed to every single body part and every single detail and imperfection of this person.

Epel – in a way similar to Deuce, but not quite: he is also drawn to older men, but he doesn’t like the calm and collected ones, he loves those who are a bit unhinged, unapologetic, cool in a way ~a boy~ would consider cool. This is why he is into people like Floyd or Leona or Rook when he is acting closer more feral or shows his physical prowess in any way. He wants someone to be reckless with, he wants to be loved in a bit of a crazy way, but yeah of course deep inside he is also a romantic that wants to spend his life with one person who would grow apples with him back in Harveston… In terms of physical appearance, yep taller muscular men!! lol muscles are this boy’s main fetish after all. The face doesn’t even matter to him much, Epel is all about thigh and arms that could choke him out. He loves strong backs too.

Idia – I think I wrote about his type at some point but there is no way I’ll find this post now so I’ll do it again and hope that I don’t contradict myself: Idia loves people whom he could spend time with doing things that he loves! He wants to play with someone, to watch anime and movies with someone, to talk about programming and stupid people on the internet with someone. Both Lilia and Azul are good in that regard – he is the happiest when he is playing games with them. But also, despite being capricious and easily freaked out, I think Idia is in a way attracted to stubborn people with strong personalities that take all the guessing out of their relationship. It’s easier for him if his partner decides for both of them, even if Idia doesn’t agree: he’ll still bitch about it, so it’s okay. But actually, Crimson Muscle is perfect for him. CM never oversteps and always minds the distance, as if not to scare Idia away, but he also instantly notices when Idia is getting upset, and always shows the exact amount of interest and investment in Idia’s stories that Idia wants… Idia is crushing hard on that man. And the fact that this is an experienced older man probably does things to Idia as well, oops. In terms of appearance, even though he keeps ending up with petit men, I think Idia loves those who are a bit on a stronger side… he also loves deep voices. Can’t think of any one body part though; I don’t think Idia would have a lot of physical attraction towards anyone in general to be honest. Shocking, I know lol

Ortho – he loves those who respond well to him being playful! I also think he has a bias towards those who are a bit older because he is very used to being around Idia, even though he mostly takes care of him. Still, he loves being a little cutie that people compliment on his achievements; this is probably why he works so well with Vil. I also don’t think he has a physical type because he still isn’t sure about what is considered appealing, but he consciously decided that he is into butts! He even told Idia once that he is now into butts. Maybe it’s a phase, the boy is learning about himself okay? Realistically, he probably responds to faces the most, which is kind of sweet to be honest. Real!Ortho would be a leg and thigh boy though lol

Lilia – nowadays he just wants someone to have fun with, he isn’t concerned about anything else – it’s not like he has to build a family with someone after all. So yeah, fits very neatly into Idia’s desire to have quality time together! In terms of physical appearance, I think Lilia also is someone who would be into a lot of people, but in general… those who are significantly taller than him. The taller the better. He doesn’t mind short cuties, but lovers with long-ass legs are his jam, and this has been his bias ever since he was a very young fae lol  So much space to bite~ He also is very into butts; probably the biggest butt enjoyer in NRC. And dragon tails which is super specific wow. He finds physical attraction to be very important, and he kind of think that there is no relationship without it… he’s a bit old-fashioned like that. I also feel like he is kind of haunted by the image of a tall busty woman with long dark hair and fair skin (I wonder why), so he is naturally drawn towards those elements as well.

Silver – does he have a type… not really, I think. He is close to people he is close with, but he never really considered romantic attraction towards someone… It’s easier for him to be around extroverted people though. In terms of appearance, he probably has a bias towards people similar to Lilia, but it’s not like he’s ever met anyone who is even remotely similar to him. I guess he is his one and only in terms of this specific type of beauty lol But other than that, he does find himself staring at Sebek’s back or chest from time to time… Maybe it’s because those look like nice sleeping surfaces though.

Sebek – someone who wouldn’t stand between him and his liege of course! Someone who would be understanding of how important it is for him to dedicate his life to Malleus first and that person second, or even third! Or something among the lines. In actuality though, I think Sebek is drawn towards those who make him… feel and think unexpected things. Partially because he doesn’t know how to deal with those thoughts and feelings, and is eager to figure them out by chasing that poor person lol In terms of physical type, I think it’s fair to say that Malleus is his Ideal Man, but Malleus also feels somewhat otherworldly, like it’s not appropriate to compare others to him…but he does love elegant appearance, long fingers and lips that look somewhat… darker, like they’re coloured I guess. He wants to kiss instantly lol He would be extremely into his partner physically though and might discover a lot about himself when he’s actually with someone for the first time.

Malleus – another one who really loves those who respond well to his teasing. Someone who would play along, but also not be afraid to stop him when he takes things too far. Maybe scold him a little bit, but just a little bit, because otherwise he’ll get mad. He wants someone who would pay attention to him, be attentive and actually listen to what he has to say, but also he has to be interesting to listen to… Someone who looks serious, but isn’t boring and allows him to be playful from time to time… and an adventurous nature! Malleus has a lot of preferences when it comes to personality lol but this code isn’t as difficult to crack as it seems. In terms of appearance though, he doesn’t have a preference, buuut I guess he has a slight bias towards serious faces, because he loves to fluster their owners. His favourite body part is actually… ears. He just likes to whisper and to tickle them with his breathing, okay?

[dreamofmetoday]

PICK A CARD #2: ARE YOU YOUR OWN ENEMY?

this is to address the ways you sabotage yourself - how you hold yourself back and stop yourself from moving forward 💖

story behind the pick a card: *contains spoilers* the book howl's moving castle follows sophie, a woman who is trying to break the curse on her that turned her old. in the end, it turns out sophie was unknowingly keeping the curse placed on herself and could have broken it at any time if she had chosen to. this pick a card is to address how you may be similar to sophie in your own life - how you may be subconsciously choosing to sabotage yourself.

how to participate:

after focusing on the story, ask yourself, "how do i subconsciously choose to hold myself back?" and "how am i subconsciously choosing to sabotage myself?"

choose the photo of sophie you feel most drawn to.

take as long as you need to choose, you can check more than one if you feel drawn to do so. however, if you are having trouble feeling called to any then this pick a card is not for you. these readings will be honest.

tip jar

1. you choose to be afraid of love and intimacy. you make yourself restless and nervous and you constantly run away from people once you believe they’re getting too close (and you need to start being more vulnerable) - even though you secretly desire to have a deep level of connection with someone. this can be with friendship, family or romantically and you may feel quite lonely - easily feeling out of place. it could also mean you feel behind your peers in experiencing intimacy, and it could also mean you are afraid of sex and physical touch. you are choosing to have your walls too high. you may come up with excuses as to why you can’t become intimate with someone, trying to justify it (being too logical) and saying that you have other things to focus on or the timing just isn’t right. experiencing “the one that got away” is a big risk for you if it has not already happened.

2. you choose to not be proactive and let life pass you by. you fail to grasp opportunities because you wait for life to come to you and you don’t work hard. you may fantasise about being rescued romantically, getting rich suddenly, losing a lot of weight or something along these lines. you are constantly in a state of waiting for your life to begin when it has already begun long ago (as if you need the perfect circumstances before you can do anything). you wait and look for signs from the universe that aren’t there which makes you sad in the long run. also, instead of reaching out to others to help you, you remain isolated and mask it as independence which further keeps you stagnated.

3. you choose to not learn from your mistakes or admit you’re wrong. you are afraid of the embarrassment that comes with admitting when your logic is faulty or your choices have been wrong, this makes you overly defensive and prone to repeating patterns that could simply be avoided. you may also be prone to blaming other people for problems that occur in your life when deep down you know when it’s your fault. you may also have the tendency to correct other people and attempt to convince them you’re smarter than you are. this has a chain reaction in your life, you stop yourself from actually learning and you also make yourself increasingly disliked. you need to humble yourself and open yourself to true learning to end your self sabotage.

4. you choose to not take responsibility for your life or yourself. you will do a lot to avoid stressful situations or feelings. you are overwhelmed, you feel there is a huge weight on your shoulders and you just don’t want to think too deeply about responsibilities or having to deal with them. you turn to having fun and quick fixes for peace and happiness - this could be through partying, drinking, sleeping around or getting high. you could also overeat or overindulge in fiction. these habits run the risk of becoming more and more harmful over time, and they stop you from feeling true fulfilment or being able to grow as a person.

5. you choose to be scared (of losing what you have). you have a fear of feeling regretful or that you have wasted your time. you (may subconsciously) feel that if you sort out as many problems now, search as deep as you can for answers, work out how to lay down the correct foundations now etc. then nothing can go wrong later. deep down, you know the truth is that you never fully know yourself, we are constantly learning and we cannot plan for everything. you are so afraid of having bad memories in the future that you make yourself overly fretful and anxious in the present. you need to accept that sometimes life will come at you sideways and no amount of “getting to know yourself” can equal the strength of simply being yourself - some things can only be learnt from experience (and you must experience all emotions).

6. you choose to not have faith (and move on or relax). you lack a trust in life, worrying about all the ways it isn’t fair and feeling anxious about how everything is fleeting and impermanent. you can be so worried about your loved ones that you cannot properly focus on your own life. you may feel guilty about something that has happened that you now feel you don’t deserve to live your life, which is why your mind is constantly preoccupied with everyone else you care about. it’s possible you have suffered a loss that impacted you deeply or that you have a loved one who is unwell or suffering. you sabotage yourself by living a half life, you need to find the balance between living for yourself while maintaining loyalty and keeping fair promises to your loved ones.

7. you choose to not accept where your real home is. you refuse to accept that you don’t belong where you’re trying to. you are forcing yourself to conform to societal or familial pressures to fit in (there’s also a chance you may be in the closet and afraid to come out). there’s genuinely people well-suited to you out there but you refuse to find them (this could also be not following the career you know you want to do). you block yourself from true giving and receiving due to the fear of who you are in combination with wanting to please the people around you.

8. you choose to overcomplicate everything. your most common thoughts are prefaced with “what if” and you have devalued the beauty and fulfilment that can come with simplicity. you can be a jealous person who easily worries about who is and isn’t better than you, who does and doesn’t have what you have etc. you want more than you deserve or you want opportunities and people that aren’t meant for you (and you likely already know this). you could have been a kid who was gifted in school and now you’re somewhere where you’re just considered the same as everyone else or you could have been overshadowed by a new work colleague who started unexpectedly (or surpassed you unexpectedly) - something along these lines, and now you’re envious and upset. you’re so focused on projecting a certain image, or being the “best” or having the “best” that you are not living a life suited to you. you are too busy focusing on another person (or people).

[the-pink-baphomet1861]

The biology of Dredge

Or: What the f**k happened to that fish!

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Part 1; The blue mackerel 

So, Dredge.

It’s that one simple fun fishing simulator about sailing to four different scenic, beautiful, geographically impossible locations while helping the locals and interacting with the wildlife. Just you and your boat for miles, nothing else at all. Sit down, grab your rod, don’t worry! It’s not like anything’s gonna happen to you, especially not involving the noises you’ve been hearing from under the hull. They’re probably just the currents hitting the side of the boat, relax! Feel the cool night air and the gentle, salty, insidious mist on your face and listen to the sounds of the sea, but not too closely. You never know what might be whispering on the tides.

I am, of course, messing with you. In reality, Dredge is a game about sailing through a haunted sea full of unknown horrors and lovecraftian abominations all while searching for the key to a lock you can’t fathom. I loved Dredge, it was a fun game, and my favourite part had to be the art, (besides the wonderfully simple gameplay and riveting story, of course) and my favourite part of the art had to be the aberrations.

For some explanation to the people who haven’t played Dredge, every time you fish from a fishing spot, there’s a chance that the thing you catch won’t be a normal fish, but a mutant little beast with all sorts of fascinating deformities. The chance is basically guaranteed if you see a little blue glow above the fishing spot and these guys are a good bit more valuable than their non aberrant counterparts, so you’re kind of incentivized to collect as many as you can. 

Looks like mama’s eating good tonight!

That isn’t the reason I’m writing this though, because each fish and crab in the game comes with at least one aberrant variety, each with their own unique design and flavour text, which I LOVE! It makes the eldritch presence feel all encompassing, even as you deal with the much larger threats in the sea. Recently, however, I’ve been thinking about the actual, physical effects of these mutations and how they would affect the bodies of their poor, unfortunate hosts, and as a marine biology student, I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to both study and learn about the biology of some of the fascinating animals in the ocean and talk about a game I like! It’s a win-win!

Some ground rules first:

Dredge is a video game, and as such things that appear in it don’t necessarily reflect reality in all aspects. The team at Black Salt Games are amazingly talented people, but I’m not so sure how much marine biology they know, and if they do, they probably aren’t going to drag the game to a screeching halt in order to explain three pages of notes incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t been studying marine biology for at least three years. It would also make the game a lot more boring if everything strictly adhered to reality. So everything in this document will be strictly speculative.

I may be a marine biology student, but I am in no way a complete expert. There are going to be a lot of things that I’m probably going to mess up. This isn’t a strict scientific breakdown with 100% accurate information, and while I will try my best to find good, reliable sources for my info, things are going to get pretty fantastical as time goes on, especially for the fish that are specifically made for the game. This is just for fun and not some inscrutable scientific paper built on loads of evidence.

I will NOT be covering any of the larger monsters in the game. This is already a massive undertaking with nearly 200 fish and aberrations to get through and a ton of research to do, and that’s not even getting into the lore implications that these guys are full-on eldritch abominations from another dimension instead of just mutated animals. I might do something like this for them in the future, but for now it’s just the aberrations you can catch and sell.

And with those formalities out of the way, let’s get into it!

Specimen #1: Blue mackerel

This little guy is probably the first fish that you’ll ever catch, they’re the easiest fish outside Big Marrow, not requiring any special equipment, and are in many ways the game’s tutorial for how the fishing mechanic works.

But what kind of fish ARE these guys actually? As in, which species do these guys belong to and what does that mean for how their physiology will change once they start mutating?

Well that’s what this first section is all about.

Who’s that ichthyoid?

In this section, I’m going to be going over the appearance and description in the game and trying to use that in order to find out what species these guys belong to and how exactly their bodies work. This section will vary in length from entry to entry, as while the game isn’t generous enough to give us the scientific names of each fish, there are some that are more obvious than others, and there are some that need a bit more digging.

Starting off with our little guy here, we can see that my largest trophy was about 28,1 cm in length, although I did read that their max in-game size was 30 cm. They have a bluish grey colouration with six black stripes running down both sides. Their body is that of a standard fusiform plan, which means that the animal has an almost cylindrical form that tapers off into two points at both ends, as opposed to other body plans like eel-like or elongated. The tail fin also has a particular shape, in this case forked, which means that the tail has a two-pronged appearance while still being a singular fin, as opposed to a lunate tail fin, which is two separate fins that both have a pronged appearance

A triad of diagrams that display the differences in body plan, the different kinds of fins and tail fin shape, you’re gonna be seeing this a lot. BE ADVISED that these are incredibly variable and can change a lot depending on the species of fish.

Our blue mackerel also has two evenly spaced dorsal fins that are somewhat rectangular and relatively short, reaching their highest points at the top right corner of the fin (although the rectangularity of the fins might just be part of the artstyle) and the pelvic and anal fins seem to share these characteristics, although the pelvic fin is much shorter than the rest, and although I can’t fully make out the pelvic fins, it seems to an almost teardrop shape with the bottom left portion of the fin connected to the area near the second gill slit. The mouth ends in a pointed snout which isn’t too thin, but it is still quite noticeable. 

I haven’t really said much about the habitats of the fish yet, which you would think is pretty important, but here’s the thing, Dredge is frustratingly vague about where it actually takes place. I joked about it before, but the fact that a volcanic hotspot, a mangrove swamp, a coral reef, a temperate cliff area and wherever the marrows are all occur within a few days of sailing doesn’t sound likely to me at all, (although if anyone does know any similar real world areas I would absolutely love to hear about it) but there might be something we can use here. As you can see, each fish comes with an area marker that tells you what kind of gear you need for catching it, but we can actually use this to mark down a habitat and narrow down our search a little. For the blue mackerel we see that it is listed as coastal, which means that it probably stops appearing once you get too far out into the open ocean, so keep that in mind.

Now we can get to the fun part, actually identifying the specific species this fish belongs to.  

First off I think we can safely say that this fish belongs to the ray-finned fish group because it probably has bones and isn’t a coelacanth or a lungfish, which I think is pretty uncontroversial. Narrowing it down is where this gets tricky. You see, the identification tool I was using, a site called fishbase which seems pretty reliable, has a bunch of different options to make your search easier,but they’re all things like the habitat where the fish lives, what it eats, how many spines it has in its fins, and for some reason lacks things like the fish’s colour. All things that would be helpful for a real-world marine biologist trying to identify what they caught, but not so helpful for us trying to find a fish in a fictional video game.

Eventually I did manage to whittle away the options through looking at things like the fin and body shape as well as things like size for species I found interesting, until I got to the Scombridae family, which consists of tuna, bonitos, and of course, mackerels. From there all I had to do was find the species that fit the description best, easy right? WRONG! None of the species I found had all the key characteristics I was looking for. None of them had that deep, bluish-grey colour or those six long stripes running down the sides that I was looking for. So in the end I decided on the closest match I could find.

Image source:https://www.fishbase.se/summary/Scomber-australasicus.html 

The blue mackerel (Scomber australasicus) 

Most of the main traits are there, it has relatively short dorsal and pelvic fins, with a similar almost-teardrop shaped pectoral fin and that same forked tail fin. The colour is a pretty good match too, albeit silvery blue instead of dark bluish grey, but still pretty similar. There are some differences though. The six, distinct, vertical bands on the game version are much less distinct and vertical, and much more numerous and the anal fin is much shorter than in the game and the maximum size was also said to be higher, around 44 cm with 30 being an average rather than the stopping point, but I think we can ignore this as part of the game.

And yeah, I know. Big whoop. The fish called a blue mackerel turned out to be a blue mackerel. I do think that going through this is important however, as it doesn’t just give us a starting point to work with when it comes to the more vague fish, (and trust me, it gets vague sometimes) but also lets us learn a bit more about both the morphology and taxonomy of these animals. Plus, that info will be pretty handy when we inevitably find a fish we can’t properly identify and have to dip our toes into speculative biology.

Now we get to the part you’ve all probably been waiting for since this post started:

WHAT THE F**K HAPPENED TO THAT FISH?

Finally we can actually get started on looking at the aberrations and breaking down the physiological changes! Hoo boy, this is gonna be fun!

First off, some more groundwork. (I know, I know, but this is still important, so bear with me) 

The internal anatomy, specifically the skeleton, is something we need. It’ll allow us to pinpoint the basic look of what happened anatomically, which gives us the information we need to make more specific assumptions about what’s going on here. I will also bring in information about specific, real-world fish diseases for more accuracy. So be warned! There will be pictures of real fish gore and gross parasites, and with that disclaimer, on with the show!

I couldn’t find a specific diagram of S. australasicus’s skeleton, so I decided to use this neat 3-D model of another, incredibly similar (so similar that scientists used to believe that the blue mackerel was a subspecies) species known as Scomber japonicus, or the chub mackerel.

Image source:https://sketchfab.com/osakanaWatch 

Now let’s get into some mutations!

Mutation #1: Grotesque Mackerel

This little guy was the first aberration I ever caught, I can still remember the day. I was happily fishing, minding my own business, when suddenly the fish I had caught came up with a distorted version of the normal “You caught something!” jingle and I was looking at this gross, sick-looking, mutated version of the blue mackerels I was so used to finding. I knew that the aberrations existed, I had already peeked at the encyclopaedia a little, but actually seeing and catching one was a whole nother experience. I remember feeling both morbid curiosity and a bit bad for the little thing, neither of which were helped by the flavour text that pops up the first time you catch an aberrated fish, but that’s enough nostalgic waxing, let’s get into some marine biology!

The first thing to note is the noticeably bent spinal column, which gives the fish a very distinct hunchback look. There are several different kinds of spinal deformities that can affect vertebrates, but I think the one most likely to be the culprit here is called kyphosis, which is a deformity which causes the upper back to curve forward into a pronounced hump and can affect basically any animal with a spinal column, including fish. We can’t exactly dissect the animal to see where exactly it bends but it seems to reach its highest point around the 10th or eleventh vertebrae, roughly right before the halfway point, and is quite extreme, as the whole spine is at a curved angle. This would probably be quite painful for the fish, the vertebrae disks would probably start digging into each other as well as impede its ability to swim straight, but that isn’t the only thing that would mess with its swimming.

Most of the fins, aside from the pectoral, tail, and one of the dorsal fins have completely atrophied into the fish’s body, with the remaining ones having undergone some serious changes. The pectoral fins appear to have lost a lot of the spines that make up the fin, and the remaining ones have grown to nearly half the fish’s length, which makes it much harder for the animal to make sudden turns, not helped by the lack of a primary dorsal fin. Speaking of which, the secondary dorsal fin is the fin that seems to have undergone the least amount of changes, being just a bit taller than normal, as well as the abnormal colour, but we’ll talk more about that later. The tail fin has gone from a general forked shape to an almost perfect crescent, again suggesting a difference int the number of spines, but this time an increase rather than a decrease, and they have also appeared to have increased in number as well, leading to the fin being proportionally much larger than before. The fish would still be able to swim, just not very well, as the narrower pectoral fins, the larger tail fin, and the lack of stabilising fins would probably give it a rough time controlling its movements, leading to uncoordinated swimming as well as a lot of collisions with obstacles.

The last of the skeletal deformities is the skull which, while still retaining the pointed shape, is also pretty messed up. The upper jaw appears to be forced forward over the lower jaw, along with the cranium, and the entire mouth just seems smaller than before. This might also be an effect of the spinal deformity, but it's hard to say for sure. It also looks like the skull has swollen and deformed a bit, as the snout is much less pointy and far more wide and blunt, as opposed to the normal fish.

You also might’ve noticed another feature of the mouth, those magnificent pearly whites of theirs. They’ve grown much larger and sharper than you can see (or rather, can’t) on the skeleton which, when combined with the deformations in the skull, would definitely affect their feeding behaviour and their ability to catch prey. In real life, while the blue mackerel is mostly a planktonic filter feeder, they can also be rather voracious predators, striking at basically anything they think they could eat, which is a lot. Things like plankton, squids, small fish, and even non-food items like burnt cigarettes and bare hooks aren’t off the menu, so they pretty much only have one row of small, pointed, teeth on their bottom and top jaws and some teeth on the roofs of their mouth. This coincides with their lifestyles as mostly planktonic but still very predatory fish in coastal and open oceans, with their teeth mostly serving the function of holding prey in place when feeding and to keep them from leaving the mouth, not to grab onto and tear like animals with larger teeth.

The altered teeth on the other hand are much larger and sharper, and appear to have decreased in number as well, there is still only one row however. They also seem to be much more uneven. Assuming that there are no large changes in behaviour, and the fish still catches prey in a similar way to before the mutations, it would mean that the teeth’s new shape would actually get in the way of capturing prey rather than helping them, which when combined with the decrease in swimming ability from the deformed fins and spine, would probably mean that the fish is much less successful than the healthy fish when hunting, which would lead to smaller body sizes and much more aggressive behaviour as the fish grows hungrier. Yeah, these fish aren’t doing well. 

With the skeletal abnormalities out of the way, let’s move onto the other forms of mutation. We can’t see much about the internal organs and muscular structure, but there does seem to be some swelling across the body, which could indicate a multitude of things. First, it could imply inflammation, which is when bodily fluids fill an infected portion of the body to allow the immune system to react better to a large amount of disease-causing organisms, but filling areas of the body with fluid can be detrimental in certain cases, not to mention painful. It could also be the sign of unregulated tissue growth, large amounts of an almost cancerous level of growth, which could cause the body to expand, which would not help the fish’s already hunger-strained body, but these growths are nothing compared to another little mutant. (we’ll get there soon, don’t worry)

The next part to discuss is the colour, which has gone from the regular bluish-grey to a vivid electric blue. There are multiple ways an animal’s skin can reflect a certain colour, such as specialized cells in the skin which hold different kinds of pigment, which is how colours like yellow or orange are produced by animals, but blue is a bit different. Instead of being produced by any sort of pigment, blue is reflected by the structures of an animal’s skin rather than any sort of pigment. So in a fish’s case, the scales would have certain structures on them which would scatter the light and make it appear blue. In our little grotesque buddy’s case, all it would take would be a shift in these structures in order for the light to scatter differently and for our eyes to pick up a different shade of blue. Actually, the fact that the fish has lost the black stripes makes it seem like the scales have actually lost pigmentation, which isn’t a very good sign for the fish’s health as the pigments in the body are breaking down for whatever reason. The lighter, more vibrant shade of blue could also make them more visible to predators, which also would not be good for the fish’s health, but in a different way.

The very last thing I want to talk about are those small beady, red eyes. The encyclopaedia describes them as bulging, but the illustration makes it seem more sunken than bulging, so let’s go with that. In any case, it probably isn’t good. Eye pigmentation is based on genetics, but to get a bright, vivid red like that usually means one thing: blood, and lots of it. It could mean that a lot of blood vessels could have burst and flooded the eye, obscuring the pupil and giving it a menacing deep red shade. The sunken-in state of the eyes is something known as enophthalmos, which can be a result of various things in fish such as sudden changes in salinity or a result of certain infections.

Mutation #2: Lumpy Mackerel

How long was that last section? Like three pages? Hoo boy we’re gonna be here forever. Thankfully I think that the rest of these are gonna go much faster, I hope. In any case now we’re gonna be looking at one of the more intense mutations in the game. Look at this thing, Where do you start!? I guess with the obvious.

This thing is absolutely covered in large, bulbous masses, I mean just look at it, you can hardly tell there’s a fish under there, and these things are huge as well. Compared to the rest of the anatomy, they would be at least a decimeter or even more if they appeared on a human, which isn’t good, in case you were wondering.

Now onto what I think these actually are. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what they are, but I have a few ideas. They could be cysts caused by something like lymphocystis, which are sacs that can contain air, fluids or semi-solid materials, which would explain things like the smooth shapes, but the problem is that cysts usually form in one specific part of the body due a specific cause, like an injury or infectious organism, and that cause can change depending on where the cyst forms, and considering the sheer amount of growths, I don’t think a single kind of cyst can be the culprit. They might be some of the growths, but I think that the main cause is actually cancerous tumours.

Tumours are clumps of cells that can form under specific circumstances, and can sometimes result in a rather obscure medical condition you might have heard of called cancer, which in short is when cells in the body undergo several key mutations which essentially makes them go feral, they stop fulfilling their ordinary function and start rapidly multiplying and draining valuable nutrients from the body, growing into a large clump that does nothing but take up space, get in the way of important functions and generally be a nuisance. There are two categories that specific tumours can fall into, benign and malignant, which basically describes how aggressively the tumour is growing and how much of a threat it is to your health. 

Benign tumours generally aren’t very dangerous, they’re mostly just a clump, with some never even requiring removal. They don’t invade surrounding tissue or grow back after being surgically removed or even growing all that fast. However, benign doesn’t mean harmless, as they can still cram other, more important organs and do have to be monitored in case they do become malignant, which I think we should talk about now.

Malignant tumours are the dangerous ones, the ones that have entire foundations dedicated to treatment, and with good reason. These things are nasty, they do everything that benign tumours do and more, they’re cancerous, they invade tissue, they can grow really fast and take a lot of nutrition, they spread to new parts of the body, they kick grandmas and burn down orphanages, they are the worst. They are also what I believe to be causing these growths in the fish. I’m not entirely sure what exact kind of cancer it is and frankly I don’t think we can know, just that it is now everywhere. This I think is the result of metastasis, when cancerous cells break away from the original tumour and migrate to new parts of the body, where they begin growing into malignant tumours themselves.

However, there are a few other things we have to consider in this situation, the size and the amount. Most of the time tumours are rather small, even if comprised of thousands of cells, there are cases of absolutely massive tumours inside people, (don’t look up pictures if you value your mental health) but they don’t grow to this frequency in that size, probably because a person usually dies without treatment before that can happen. Which means that something, probably dark magic, is keeping the fish alive.

Other than the tumours, I couldn’t really see any easily identifiable deformities to the skeletal structure under the growths (except for one, but we’ll get there soon) as the only fin I could make out, the tail fin, seems relatively unchanged, at least compared to the grotesque mackerel, but the other fins appear to be either obscured or reabsorbed by the growing masses. Now for the skull, oh boy the skull. A particularly large mass seems to have grown either on the top of or inside of the skull, stretching the eyes from their sockets and deforming the jaws. I believe it to be inside the skull as the entire structure of the face seems to have been changed rather than a tumour simply growing on top of the skull, and since we can’t see the rest of the skeletal structure, we can’t tell if there are any more significant skeletal disfigurement.

The last thing I wanted to discuss is the colour, which has gone from the usual to a sickly greenish-yellow. Now yellow fish aren’t uncommon, with xanthophyll being the primary pigment, but given the obviously unhealthy nature of the fish, I don’t think that it’s just the pigments changing. So I did some research and eventually found another likely candidate known as jaundice, which is a condition that occurs when dead red blood cells accumulate in the body due to issues with the liver, causing the skin to turn a rather sickly shade of yellow, and it can occur in fish as well, and it can also be caused by certain kinds of liver cancer, which I’d be surprised if this fish didn’t have.

Mutation #3: Many-Eyed Mackerel

Here we are! The last mutation in this post! Can you feel the excitement? Let’s not dawdle and get right into it!

So unlike the other two, I thought I’d start with discussing the colours instead of the skeletal structure because it doesn’t seem to have changed all that much. The fins, except for the pectoral fins, which seem to be completely gone, and spine are all in basically the same place as the healthy fish and don’t seem to have undergone any specific changes, but the colouration is another matter entirely. The fish looks like a giant, eye covered carrot, which should clue you in on my idea on the matter. Carotene, a pigment most often associated with carrots, but can appear in a ton of other things as well, such as brown algae. It bonds with chlorophyll and allows it to pick up and receive energy from other light sources, basically expanding the range of colours the organism can use for photosynthesis. I don’t think it serves this function in the fish, as fish are not known for their photosynthetic qualities, but it is probably the result of whatever genetic scramblings the magic is doing to these fish, causing these pigments to form in the skin of the animal where there previously was none. 

Eyes are incredibly complicated structures with lots of different parts that all contribute to their function. You have the lens, optic nerve, iris, retina, cornea, and all the muscles that allow the eye to move and contract. This means that the eye begins to form very early in the development of an organism, driven by proteins called morphogens which tell certain undifferentiated cells to turn into specific cells at specific points, and all the eyes in the mutant seem to be fully formed despite their random placement. So that means that the extra eyes would have had to form very early into the fish’s development, probably caused by the disruption of morphogens in the embryo, which caused eyes and their surrounding structures to form sporadically across the fish’s skull.

The eyes also seem much larger than before, compared to both the illustrations and the real life photo. In fact, the one that I believe to be the normal pair of eyes, the top-right pair, seem to have bulged out of their sockets, and the other eyes seem to be in a similar predicament. We can’t know for sure, but it seems like the other eyes have formed with eye sockets of their own, albeit while bulging out of them like the normal pair, but again, we can’t know for sure.

At first I thought that the fish would be unable to absorb oxygen considering that several of the eyes seem to have grown over the the gills, but it’s possible that the eye growth would have spared at least the last gill slit, which would allow the fish to have water pass over their gills and absorb oxygen without the eyes completely compromising the fish’s ability to breathe. Gills are really good at absorbing oxygen and can function pretty well as long as water can pass through, so even if there's some difficulty, it's not as impossible as it seems.

Final words

So now we’re done with this round of fish! I’m not really sure what to put here, it’s not like there’s some scientific conclusion we can draw other than “these fish are fucked up”, which I’m sure you could draw just by looking at them, so I think I’ll just give my closing thoughts.

I really like Dredge. It’s a game which has a lot of great elements which make it fun and rewarding to explore, such as learning about the story and seeing the new fish designs that come with each area, especially as a student myself learning about the sea and the creatures that live there. Each of the designs are beautifully and carefully crafted to fit both sides of the game, and I love going over each one and learning more about both their eldritch, mutated forms with wild changes, and the real world biology that inspired them.

This is the first in a series that will be going over each catchable fish in the main game and the dlcs and analyzing their biology both as real world animals, and as little mutant monsters, and it would be wonderful to share this with anyone who is willing to listen to me ramble on about a horror fishing simulator and its wonderfully creepy inhabitants.

[s1mpadd1ct]

Shang Tsung | Relationship Headcanons | What is he like? | What does he do?

He 100% keeps a picture of you in his work desk at all times, even when Princess Mileena is in for her Tarkat treatment, it’s there. It keeps him motivated to keep working at his best knowing that even though you aren’t there, a memory of you is.

Unlike what people think about him, he isn’t completely evil. People who look from the outside in (Such as Liu Kang) believe that he abuses you both mentally and physically, he forces you at his side, and has you under some sort of obedience spell, but that isn’t true. You see a side of him that no one ever has before. He allows himself to be vulnerable with you, and shows you every part of himself.

Whenever you sit in a chair in his study, or sit anywhere near him, he will randomly just stop whatever he is doing to stand from his chair and make his way over to you, but it isn’t anything direly important to his study of Tarkat, or his elixirs, but simply to hold your face in his hands, cradling it like a prized jewel he collected in the most divine of places. 

He tends to just stare at you, nothing is wrong, he’s only thinking to himself, about you. “Is there something wrong, my love?” “Absolutely not, beautiful. Just admiring the outstanding view.”

Sometimes he asks you to paint his nails, growing up in poverty, he could not afford such pleasures, so now that he can have those little things, with you no less, he adores having you paint his nails or put eyeliner on him for fun.

Hates raspberries for some reason. Absolutely resent them. Will go out of his way to not consume them. Why? He won’t say.

When he has company over for a meeting (Ex. Ermac, Quan Chi, Bi-Han…), IF they say something that intrigues you, he will allow them to stay longer for you and his guest to ramble about said topic, he usually is an in-n-out business man, but whatever makes you happy.

He’ll occasionally read you a book, he’d sit and read you a story about demons, monsters, ancient creatures and myths that were popular when he was a child. “I can’t believe these used to terrify me, can you?” He’d ask. Yet, you might be afraid like his childhood self, or you would nod in agreement and laugh with him.

Shang denies it, but he tends to talk about his mother a lot. Mostly positive, but he remembers the things she had to do just to make sure that he had something to eat everyday, or something to wear when out to get seasonings for what little they could buy for dinner that night. He misses her dearly, and wonders if she would be proud of him if she were alive to see him now.

He is a perfectionist at heart, he freaks out when his potion bottles aren't in color coded order or aren’t in ordered bottle size from smallest to largest. He even has you assist him in making sure that the bottle sizes or colors are in perfect order like he wants.

Shang loves to make you clothes to wear, not specifically for him, per say, but when you do wear the dresses/clothes that he makes for you, it sends him in an infatuated spiral. 

Slow dance central, expect for him to grab you out of nowhere and begin to slow dance with you. It calms his nerves to have your body flush against his in such a romantic way, this has become one of the most common ways to ease his mind after such a long day of work and progress. "I love you."

Decided to finally start writing again, don't know if it is something I'll do more but only time will tell...

[matthiastalksalot]

what is being aromantic? what is being asexual?

i struggled to grasp both for so long, pushing away these parts of my identity with intense denial and a tad bit of misunderstanding.

this is the first of two parts. i talk a lot. enjoy!

CW: discussions of sex

around a year ago, i had gotten into a relationship with a boy whom i cared for deeply. we both had “crushes” on each other around october of 2022. we shared a brief new years kiss, as friends. life moved on. he got a girlfriend. i thought i had a “crush” on my best friend.

then we were roommates for an overnight school choir trip. we did all of the “romantic” things that couples were supposed to do, all the while claiming it was a joke (clarifying point: his girlfriend was well aware of this. she said that i was her boyfriend’s boyfriend).

however, he felt neglected by his girlfriend during this trip, because she wanted to spend more time with her friend group them with him. he was one of two friends of mine, and so i was always around. i helped comfort him when he felt alone. i hung out with him 24/7, having fun during the day and cuddling in our hotel bed at night.

this trip lasted a total of 4 days. we got back on a sunday. that monday, he broke up with his girlfriend. he called me, and i went out at 11pm to be with him and help him through this breakup. despite him initiating it, he was also heartbroken and distraught.

the following two weeks, we had what i would call a “situationship”. we would cuddle, hold hands, talk, hang out constantly. what we couldn’t do? date. because it was moving on too soon.

eventually, we did start dating. we were the most obnoxious PDA couple my high school had ever seen. sitting on each others laps in the cafeteria, holding hands in choir, ect. i even promposed to him by bringing a door to school in the bed of my pickup truck, and asking him out in front of our class.

you may be thinking- how did such a picture perfect relationship fail? there are many awnsers to this question, but the big one? sex.

we hung out after school daily, and the more time that passed, the more comfortable he was with beginning sex and related activities.

to be clear: we never got far. we made out once. we only did it to see if it was better than i thought it would be, as i truly did not have interest. (it was not. spit. ew.) we did a little grinding here and there, and it felt okay. we would do it for a bit, eventually i would be overstimulated, and we would stop. i would immediately turn back to what we had been doing before, which i later learned hurt his feelings.

i do not find it impossible to have the physical feelings that come with sex.

what he taught me was that i lack emotional connection when it comes to sex. to be quite frank, i found his initiation to be disruptive. i just wanted to cuddle and watch a movie, why do we have to hump and suck necks??

when i told him that i thought i may be asexual, he cried. i had been feeling off, not sure what to say. he asked what was wrong, and when i told him, he cried. he asked many questions, such as “why can’t anything ever be simple? my ex only liked my body, now you come along and fulfill all my emotional needs, but aren’t interested? have you been lying when you called me attractive?”

i comforted him. he told me it was okay, we would figure it out. we broke up weeks later. two days before it happened he tweeted “i miss being sexualized by horny men online”. yeah.

my sexuality wasn’t the only reason for our breakup, but it was a large one. despite this, i did not feel truly comfortable calling myself asexual for months following.

after all, i knew what sexual pleasure felts like.

it took me until the following january to accept myself as asexual.

over winter break in college, i got grindr and met up with a 49 year old. he called himself “erik”, although i strongly doubt that is his real name.

we hooked up. i lied to him, pretended i wasn’t a virgin. the entire thing was so awkward. i told him no kissing or anything related to mouths from the start, as i knew i didn’t like it. he held to that, and we had sex. i got off, so did he, but honestly? not quite what it is cracked up to be.

i almost passed out like three times but i didn’t know what it was or wasn’t supposed to be.

something within me changed that night, as i finally understood the difference between feeling and attraction. i do not feel attraction to anyone sexually. not my ex, not the grindr hookup.

i began to identify as asexual.

i still do, but the way i described it then was “i want to keep my sex and romantic relationships separate. because i am not sexually attracted to my partner, it would feel weird to lead them on by having sex.”

now. i am aromantic. how did we get there? story for another day. perhaps later tonight. perhaps tommorow.

it took me years to figure out my asexual identity. there are so so many naysayers, and people who do not believe in it. in situations like that, it is harder to truly find yourself. but i did. and i am sure if you reading this are in a similar spot, you will as well, in due time.

all my love,

mattisaroace

[tscritical]

Hi just another anon here. I find criticizing my favorite stuff fun and interesting so I have a thing to bring up.

The way Thomas interacts very actively and personally with his fan base, incorporates fanon into the content to the point where fanon almost defines the series, and makes content that is very “nurturing” in nature (which is also clearly aimed at a younger audience) creates a perfect storm for unhealthy parasocial connections. I will say that this is partially on him (and his team) maybe? Idk

But also that unhealthy parasocial behavior can take on many forms, like feeing that a person can do no wrong, seeing them as a replacement for real human connection, or even (possibly like you and me right now) obsessively looking for things to criticize about the person/overthinking the things they do. We probably wouldn’t be here criticizing Thomas Sanders in such a detailed fashion at all if we didn’t have at least somewhat of a parasocial connection to him. If we detached ourselves from him we would say “yeah, well he’s a celebrity. I don’t even know him, and he probably goes through stuff that isn’t my business. Lack of content happens, so eh. Celebrities advertise because they want to make money. Thomas Sanders isn’t different, and it is what it is.”

We don’t see Thomas and his crew as a for-profit organization because they fostered that image on purpose. All YouTubers do. A relatable guy who would be your friend, even though celebrities aren’t your friends, and they live a very different existence than regular people (valuing status, image, and money in a way regular people don’t)

I won’t go into detail, but I have a very complicated relationship to sanders sides because of this atmosphere of parasocial relationships that is rampant in the fandom. I found sanders sides when I was in a really difficult place mentally, and it was comforting but I also had a sort of… bad feeling about it? It made me physically anxious for a while and I didn’t know why. A lot has happened in my life since then that I’m still processing so my feelings about this are a bit of a mess.

Idk it’s 3am and I’m rambling. Sorry for the long ask, I had some Thoughts

yeah there’s definitely something to be said about the parasocial aspect of it all, even if i don’t quite have the spoons or brain cells to go into a detailed discussion about it

basically Shit’s Complicated lmao

and you’re so right about the fanon influence, it’s especially obvious in the five year anniversary video (for example: when the sides all declare their roles in the “family dynamic” (patton being the dad, logan being the mom, etc) and perpetuating the idea of family being these strictly defined roles. i have nothing good to say about that shit)

[plantsandpies]

A lot of the things that I think about (right now it’s mainly fairytail because I’m hyper fixating) are things I’ve enjoyed during my childhood. And while I look at them in a more critical light, I still enjoy them. Yeah, the strawberry shortcake 2009 version has a weaker plot than say the earlier season of Grimm. But it’s still fun to watch.

That being said! I have things I want to talk about for multiple shows and this warning needs to be on all of them, so I’m just putting them into one post.

🥧Fairytail:

I don’t think hiro mashima really planned his world. Like he has a sturdy foundation. That’s true. But when watching the show, the timeline gets lost. I was asked this in my god post, which I answered in relation to the idea, but it’s a good question. Where is Zeref in edolas or how is Natsu in edolas? How did the time situation work? Because everyone else is where they need to be in time. Except for the dragonslayers. They’re supposed to be 400 years old. What about Natsu being end? How does that relate? How old is mystogan? He should be the same age as Jellal, but he seems older in the flashbacks we get from Wendy. Except, how old is Wendy? She’s older in edolas, because if she’s still 12/13 there, we have other problems. What about Porlyusica? She’s supposed to be the edolas version of a dragon. What? And she left edolas around teens to young adult because she was in fairytail when makarov was young. How’d she leave? Why’d she leave? You could say some of this doesn’t matter. But edolas causes so many issues with earth land’s timeline. And then there’s Zeref and mavis’s relationship. How’d they have a kid? If it was the spells used to try and save her, why’d it make a kid and not do anything to her? Wasn’t she dead?

It feels like the timeline hasn’t ever been complete and these questions weren’t thought about. It’s not the most important per se; but it leaves questions about the world. The ages especially. I haven’t even got to how Zeref and Anna found kids somewhere. A world doesn’t have to fully explained. In fact, I don’t think you should. But since the dragonslayers going to the future is a huge plot point, that should be explained. Since Zeref is Natsu’s brother and that’s a huge plot point something should’ve been said. Since Natsu being end is a huge deal, it should be brought up. Just a passing comment is fine. But saying nothing makes edolas fall apart a bit. It makes the magic system fall apart.

🥧Miraculous:

It had such good potential. It has good, solid, characters. The premise? Amazing. But, a lot of plot points aren’t covered. Having a perfect character is bad, as they don’t really move, but having your protagonist for little girls (as that was the original intended audience) be obsessive over a guy to the point she has a pull down board of his entire life and tried to kiss his wax statue is a bad choice. Yes, she gets over it. But it takes her a long time. That’s not great. Then there’s the abuse Adrian faces and being in the model industry at 13. 13! That’s so young! And it’s one of the worst parts of the entertainment industry. The amount of pressure on physical looks and the horror stories of models and their relationships with photographers and their weight, and putting a CHILD into that? And it’s not really covered. Then there’s the forced kiss scene with ladybug, which has been talked about pretty thoroughly throughout the community. The sexual harassment was just touched on. What about the guy in love with ladybug (a 13 year old, as this was season 1) and pretended to be cat noir? That wasn’t covered at all! And later, with Adrian’s now dead father? Why are we immortalizing him? He tried to kill people! He had his son thrown off a roof for a point! (The gorilla episode) Did we forget that? This show has a great premise. It has an interesting power system, but it doesn’t deal with its “drama”. It’s not dealing with these behaviors and situations correctly. And if it’s too heavy to really cover it in a tv show for kids, maybe don’t put it in the tv show for kids!

And then Lila? Disregarding all of the other traumatic stuff these kids were put through and then was never covered, Lila is a horrible story plot. Marinette’s friends not believing Marinette, ignoring the bullying reports or her dislike of her. If my friends told me they were being harassed by someone who was nice to me, I’m believing them. I’d rather believe a liar than an abusive asshole. It also doesn’t follow their characters. Alya wouldn’t have believed Lila over Marinette. She’s shown she stands by her best friend. But someone is nice and your friend says she’s mean and you argue with them? That’s not what she does. And they only don’t follow their characters around Lila. That shouldn’t happen.

And that’s just the beginning. What the hell’s the wig thing? That makes zero sense. Like- it confuses me so much I can’t even explain it. That was just for drama and drama that doesn’t even make sense! This show doesn’t do well with the stories they’re trying to tell.

🥧This isn’t as big a deal as the rest of the shows. In fact, it means nothing compared to the other stuff above.

Why don’t we talk about how weird Al married pinkie and had a kid with her? How’d we get here? What the hell?

No. Like seriously. What? Why? Why’d we do this?

🥧Voltron:

There’s a lot of issues with this show (mainly season three onward) but my main issue is how they treated Lance. Originally everyone was set up as a main character, except for shiro who was a little more important because of his previous trauma (which I think was handled pretty well for a kids show) and gaining back his memory. But as the show went on, Lance’s character got flattened. He was always a flirt, but he didn’t grow and any growth he had was pushed aside for the flirty jokester and any hit of anything was pushed aside, not just by writers, but by literal characters. They had his negative feelings pushed aside by characters in the show! And then allurance. (I apologize if the ship name is spelled wrong). Admittedly, I do have ships I like more, but for a show, as long as a relationship feels right, I don’t care about the end game. I would have been fine with those two ending up together over klance if they felt happy with each other. But there are many videos showing that they weren’t doing well together (literally just taking scenes and putting them together, plus people reacting, who aren’t klance shippers, talking about how unhappy they seem). They also said “I love you” on the first date? Her ex just died? After betraying them again and again? And that’s the route you go? Really? And then you kill her and have him mourn her for the rest of his life living on a farm! When he loves space and being out there! What? If this was written better, I’d be okay with it. Sure, it’s not my pairing, but I’m happy if it feels like it fits. They made probably one of the worst get togethers I’ve ever seen on screen. (To be fair, I don’t watch a lot of live action drama or movies so maybe there are worse). I got a little off topic, but this ship also pushed lance’s character down. It reduced him to Allura’s forever longing partner. This isn’t even talking about how Hunk got like no character at all. Which is its own issue (that I’m upset about too). I just have more to say about character assassination vs not having a character at all.

🥧Anyway. I’m doing this on my phone (as I do all my posts) so I can’t get all my information and most is from my memories. It also corrects my grammar and I read things weird (I skip lines and I also do this when I write so I often don’t catch it), so I apologize if something doesn’t make sense or my grammar’s wrong. If you want more info on any of these (aka having it as a more professional post), please ask. It might take a while though as it’d be an essay and I’d find my examples and stuff.

[owlhead650]

hello noctor. you’re a very lovely amazing person. make sure to take time to relax even with uni going on. drink water, have a snack. much love from all the meteors

Thank you very much Meteors. I do love drinking water and I send much love in return. I like being your friend it's fun. Anyway it's been a year since I created my first oc, Asopo. He's the way in which I involved myself in the pokemon rebornverse oc culture. He's a large part of the means I used that led to me meeting you so this definitely matters to me. I do feel great attachment to this character I made. Here's a short story where I explore the dynamic between him and Melia and Erin from Pokemon Rejuvenation. This short story is about 3036 words long.

Also here's an epic versus sprite of Asopo created by aloepias on the Overseers discord server. Also @pokefangamebrainrot made an adorable portrait of him. Look.

I do love his expression in this. I find Mud Splash cute and funny too.

Pokemon Rejuvenation - Asopo's Letter

Asopo stared at the holographic file. It was filled with information about spells and how to make them. He and Melia needed to make one. They weren’t proud of it, so they had to keep their visits to zeight a secret. Even though basically all their friends already knew they were doing ‘something’ each night. Zeight was very quiet, he thought it was too much sometimes. Other times he thought it was perfect, it was peaceful. 

He looked away from the file and into the starlight abyss. Zeight had its own sky which seemed to be in perpetual cloudless night, yet if he fell off the platforms he’d land in this sparkly purple liquid. Maybe he should try swimming in it sometime. Or would that even be possible? Everything about Zeight was non-physical, mental instead. Maybe the water wasn’t even real. It provided only a nice aesthetic, as well as clarity about which way was down. Where was Melia?

It had been a little while since he last looked at her. He checked and she was just staring at a different file nearby. She’d been so quiet. As quiet as himself.

“Melia.” Melia flinched before turning around. He spoke very softly but seemingly any noise was surprising after hours of silence. Had it been hours? Time in zeight is weird. How did it feel for Melia to be here three months?

“Oh, hey Asopo. Is something wrong?” In general? Many things are.

“I want to talk to you about something important.” He realised that the statement might have sounded a bit intimidating.

“...Of course, you can tell me about anything.” Melia was kind. Sometimes she made Asopo feel warm, a lot of the time she made him worried and scared for her. Things just kept happening to her. “Can we sit down for this?” He looked at a bench he asked Mom Nancy to place which overlooked Zeight's expansive horizon. Melia went to it and sat down.

Asopo sat with her. He didn’t say anything right away. Even though he had promised this was about something, Melia waited. He was content to watch the waves with her. Even if no words were said, looking with someone else made the view feel even better. 

Waves.

Stars.

Light.

Darkness.

Warmth.

Company.

Peace.

“...Melia.” He said. “Asopo.” She said.

“Melia, I need to admit something embarrassing.” He knew she’d understand, he knew that she’d be as kind and patient when it came to this as anyone could be. It was still hard to say, even in somewhere as private as Zeight.

“Only if you’re comfortable. I’ll listen if you want.” Melia promised. She was beginning to get very curious though. There’s something exciting and cathartic about being confided in.

“What would you think if…” He trailed off. He wasn’t able to say anything else for a minute. 

“It’s alright. You aren’t forced to say anything you don’t want to.”

But he DID want to. He needed to. Asopo decided to approach the topic in a different way.

“How does it feel to love someone in the way that makes you want to date them?” His cheeks burned, but at least he said it.

“H-huh???” This was the last question Melia expected. “I… what makes you ask that??”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know why you asked?”

“No, I do know why I asked. I just don’t know the answer.” Being misunderstood was one part of talking that stressed him out.

“Well, I suppose you know it when you feel it? When I… when I realised I had feelings for Venam, I guess I just knew what the feelings meant? I suppose it can’t be taken for granted that you’d know. Lots of things about romance and dating and socialising in general aren’t taught to us. It’s just assumed that we’ll figure it out ourselves. Asopo… do you have a crush or something?” Melia felt like giggling, there was something about these sensitive topics that felt amusing and exciting in a weird way.

“Don’t call it that! This is about someone I love very much, but I don’t understand it. I don’t know what to make of my own feelings.” The word ‘crush’ definitely distressed him. It came with all sorts of expectations he didn’t like. Why was everyone limited to words that can be misunderstood? Why can’t Asopo just show people what’s in his heart?

“...Oh no, I’m really sorry Asopo. I really am, I shouldn’t of said that.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “I wasn’t making fun of you I promise. I would never, ever, mock you for anything.”

“It’s fine.” He looked at her for the first time since this conversation began. “I’m feeling something for Erin that feels really similar to friendship, but what I want from it is different. I love her just like I love you and Ren and Venam and Aelita and Amber… But I want to touch her more. I’ve noticed I want to hug her even more than my other friends or pokemon. I see her hand and sometimes I want to hold onto it. When I do touch it, like when we pick something up at the same time or I pass something to her, or just anytime that’s incidental or practical, I really enjoy it. I want to hold it even longer…” Asopo trailed off again. This last part was the most embarrassing, but he wanted to get it off his chest. He felt Melia giving his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. Her hand was sort of hanging off him. 

“Melia… I like how Erin smells.” He looked at her but turned away again after just a moment of eye contact. It was a lot to admit.

“It’s okay Asopo. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that.”

“But it’s confusing. I’m not in love with her, it feels too similar to friendship to be anything romantic. Romance feels intense, doesn’t it?” This was the hardest part. The biggest reason why Asopo kept it to himself for so long is because he doesn’t know how to describe it accurately, and the last thing he wants is for Erin to misunderstand it.

“Yeah, it’s really exciting when your feelings get reciprocated. But it’s intense too. Sometimes it’s too much, actually.” Melia thought about the time she had with Venam. But she was going through a lot of hardships. She couldn’t be a good partner to her while dealing with all that.

“I’m going to write a letter. Then I’m going to hand it to her and stand in front of her while she reads it. Do you think she’d like that?”

“Well if what you feel is hard to explain then taking the time to write it down in a way that makes sense to you could help. I think it would be important to say it to her too though. Saying it is hard, but it’s meaningful. It might feel good to say it.” Melia tried to make her advice sound like gentle suggestions. She didn’t want him to feel any pressure. It surprised her, to learn this about him. Asopo rarely said what he was thinking.

“I know Erin is busy with a lot of things, we all are, but I’ll try to get a word with her later today. How would she react if I asked her to speak in private?”

“I know that Erin really trusts you. I know she respects the need to leave some things unsaid, or for privacy. Go tell her.” By now Melia had taken her hand off of Asopo’s shoulder. The embarrassment had worn off and he didn’t want to hide his face anymore.

Asopo got up and looked at Melia. She was still sitting, from where she was she could see the starlight reflecting off Asopo’s hair.

“Melia. You’re one of the most important people in my life. I don’t think any amount of words could adequately explain how much our friendship means to me.” For some reason this wasn’t embarrassing to say. Melia grinned. She looked so pretty when she was happy.

“I would have to say the same Asopo. Without you I don’t think I’d still be here. Now go give Erin your adorable letter explaining your complicated, wonderful feelings to her.”

Asopo exited Zeight and entered the league HQ.

He found Erin in the lab reading a book on banishing curses and similar ailments inflicted by dangerous exposure to ghost types. She was sitting on a couch in the corner. Asopo sat next to her and waited for her to say something to him. He stared at her face. She had dark grey eyes, like Melia’s. He always loved the black bow and the white hair. She used to wear a white top that exposed her shoulders and this short black skirt, but these days she wears a long sleeved black shirt with white trousers and a coat.

The strange thing about Asopo’s relationship with attraction is that even though he was fully asexual, he still found girls pretty. Someone’s appearance is never really a factor in whether or not he ends up liking them or talking to them, but he still enjoys looking at beautiful people. It’s not the same as thinking another boy looks cool, so for the longest time Asopo assumed that this must be what people meant by being attracted to someone else based on beauty. He had since realised that isn’t true.

Erin looked up from her book. “Hey, Asopo. You have that look on your face. Did you want to ask something?”

“...Yes. But can we talk somewhere private?” He looked at the Sashila scientists at work. “This is personal.” Erin was interested by this. “That sounds very serious but I understand. Come on then.” She stood up. So did Asopo. She was taller than him by an entire head. They went to find a quiet room where no one would be listening in. Asopo was in a calm state of mind but he could hear his heartbeat. There was definitely some tension now that he was here, but it wouldn’t be hard. Discussing it with Melia and writing that letter had prepared him.

“So let’s hear it, Asopo. What did you want to say to me?”

“Read this.” He handed it to her.

“Oh? A letter? Why did we need privacy just so you could give me a letter? Or are the contents of the letter important? Should I read it right away? Is it something you’d struggle to say?” She read him like a book. Asopo was very confident in his own wit, but she was probably smarter than him.

“Yes.”

“Okay then. I will read it now.” Erin opened the envelope and pulled out the folded up paper without tearing any of it. It was written in blue pen with large uneven letters. 

To Erin,

I love you very much and I really cherish our friendship. I want you to know that the way in which I love you is a bit different to normal friendship, I think I feel something else too. For a little while I wondered if I was attracted to you romantically or sexually, but I know I’m not. I’m fully asexual. I think you’re one of the prettiest and most fashionable girls I’ve ever met but I don’t think that’s why I feel the way I do. 

The few times we hugged, I enjoyed it even more than I do with other friends. I want to hold your hand and in general I seem to enjoy physical contact with you more so than with other people. I honestly don’t know if there’s a word for what I’m feeling. It’s similar to friendship but I’ve never thought about how my other friends have a warm smell or gentle warm hands. I never ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, if any of these things are creepy then I’m deeply sorry and you’ll never hear of it again. I just want you to know that you’re one of the most important people in my life and I don’t want to ever go too long without seeing you or speaking with you. 

I consider you very smart, strong and kind. I always enjoy listening to your takes or comments on basically everything. I admire how confident you always are and how you’re always able to say what you mean.

When this journey ends and we’re all free to live a life where we aren’t in danger from anything then I want to continue being one of the friends you see every day. I love you very much Erin, I want to spend even more time with you and I hope that would make you happy.

From Asopo.

Erin finished reading the letter. She folded it up neatly and tucked it back into the envelope before pocketing it. The whole time she was reading it her expression didn’t really change. She finished it in just over a minute. “Asopo.” Here it was. The moment of truth. What does Erin think of his feelings? “Do you have any idea how lovely this is?” Erin asked with a very as a matter of fact tone.

“...Do you like it?” 

“Do I like it? Asopo I’m really glad you told me all this. For years I used to think there was something wrong with me. I didn’t have many friends growing up and many people treated me like I didn’t belong. When I never had any crushes on anyone, when I never wanted to be kissed or when the very concept of sex and marriage seemed repulsive to me, I thought I was broken. Do you know what changed?” 

Asopo thought about the question seriously, not treating it like the rhetorical question it was meant to be.

“Did you learn something new that changed your outlook?”

“Correct, actually. I learnt that being incapable of wanting the things that I was expected to want is not some defect, it’s normal. There are all sorts of people like that. I read it in a book and then it clicked. That made me feel much better about myself. The problem remains that I need to live with the challenges this state of being brings.”

“Which challenges?” Asopo asked. He had some idea but he wasn’t sure what specific issue she might have been referring to.

“Well not being able to want certain kinds of relationships makes you unable to have them. It seems that most people have a clear idea about where the boundaries between friendship and romance are set. There’s even the notion that if you have a close bond with some non-family member then it needs to be one of those two. The challenge for people like us is that we won’t really be able to have life-long partners. If you want something like that with someone then it’s sort of assumed you need to get married or at least be in love.” So far Asopo was delighted with how the conversation had developed. Just listening to Erin explain her reasoning contented him.

“Asopo, I won’t pretend we just found the solution to that. I also won’t say I’m fully sure that I feel the exact same way you do, but I am interested. You’re important to me, I value you. It made me happy to read about how much you care. And to clarify-” She put her hands on his shoulders, gripping them. “I never. Ever. Found you creepy. I know the bit about liking my smell is mortifying, but I respect honesty. I think I’ll hide this letter away somewhere safe, there’s no need for anyone else to know about it.”

“Melia knows.” Asopo interjected.

“I, what? Did you show Melia the letter?” Erin asked with a hint of frustration.

“No. I just told her I would be giving you one. It was hard to tell you, I admitted the embarrassing parts to her as practice for now. She was very understanding.” He thought about her smile. Melia was happy that someone she loved could trust her.

“Well I guess that’s okay then. If you want to spend more time with me that badly, then how about you help me with something? I want to find another book about medical science used to combat extreme conditions similar to genesis syndrome. I also need to find a book on crafting signature moves, it’s advanced stuff so I think you should read through it until you find the section on dark moves. I know you’re an expert on battling so finding that info should be well within your skillset. Will you come with me?”

This was another part that Asopo loved about Erin. She was so cunning. So efficient and logical in the best way. She wants to spend time with him but she’s also using the situation to her advantage and getting him to help her with work. He was delighted to help someone like her.

“Let’s be reading buddies.” Asopo said with dry humour.

“Yes. Let’s. Now would you like to give hand holding a try? Or actually before we go maybe a hug would be nice.”

“Yes please.” He smiled at her.

“Alright. Bring it in.” Erin opened her arms and put them around him. Asopo wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed. Due to their height difference Asopo ended up resting his head against her chest. Erin was resting her chin on his hair. Erin’s body was firm and warm against him. “Friend Erin.” Asopo said softly. Erin heard him and chuckled. “Yeah, friend Asopo. This is nice.”

They held it like that for a while. Eventually they had enough. “We have a Braivery taxi to catch. The landing stop isn’t far but would you like to take that hand holding idea for a spin?” Erin considered that just because Asopo said he wanted it in the letter, that wouldn’t mean he’s guaranteed to want it right away just because she did.

“Yes. Let’s walk through the sand together so we can find the bird.”

“Great idea.” Erin reached out and offered her left hand. He gripped it and she led the way.

So how was the short story? Did you find it cute? Cringe? Both? Either way I really like the idea of Asopo and Erin being together like this. It was one of the earliest ideas I had for him but I didn't do anything with it until now. Thanks to whoever reads this far, thanks to those who like my ocs and double thanks to anyone who ever made content for Asopo or my other characters. I really appreciate it. As of the time I'm writing this it's getting late. I've really enjoyed Asopo's first oc birthday it was fun to talk about ocs today.

[quirkwizard]

So if you were brought into the mha universe with your age regressed to fit the story, what 3 quirks would you pick? For clarification: You can only have one emitter, transformation, and mutant quirk. You know how to use them and can use them simultaneously. You won’t have any negatives for having multiple quirks. Clones and double versions can use the quirks. You are fluent in Japanese as well as any languages you know and any ailments you have aren’t present. You have all the MHA knowledge.

Oh, this is a fun one. Thank you for adding all those conditions and clarifications. This was actually a difficult question to answer because I had a lot of ideas and combinations I really liked. For the sake of this, I will be covering all of the big ideas I had with it. And while the primary criteria will by their synergy, I will be considering how these powers look as well. Having three totally unrelated powers is going to raise a lot of questions, so having something I could reasonably fit under one power would help.

Howler: Voice, Beast, Dog: This doesn't have the best synergy, aside from stacking the physical abilities of "Dog" and "Beast" and potentially using that to augment "Voice", but it was too perfect of a combination to pass up. A werewolf form with a supersonic howl that can become an even more dangerous werewolf? How could I pass that up?

Arsenal: Homing, Rifle, Gatling: "Rifle" and "Homing" have some great synergy, guaranteeing hits with the powerful and long ranged gun could be extremely useful. And I considered "Zoom" and "Extend-o-Hair", but I picked "Gatling". "Gatling" works well with "Homing", covers what "Rifle" can't, and could have some fusion potential with "Rifle".

Druid: Mushroom, Arbor, Vines: Having all these plant-like Quirks around is bound to have plenty of synergy, they could all fit together as one power and are all solid Quirks in their own right. I'm especially curious to see how the spores of "Mushroom" could be used with "Arbor" and "Vines". Sure, I'm super allergic to fire, but it's a good combination none the less.

Shifter: Overclock, Transforming Arms, High Spec: The big pair of these is "Overclock" and "High Spec". The greater power of "High Spec" could counter the brain drain issue, while "Overclock" could give you more time and room to apply your mental abilities. Combine that with the sheer variety of "Transforming Arms", fit it under Body Control, and you have an amazing combo.

Menagerie: Clones, Manifest, Food: "Food" and "Manifest" have a lot of synergy, greatly expanding what I could eat and manifest, but I think that it could have some fun uses with "Clones". On top of giving this combination some utility, I think that you could spread off the various combinations of "Manifest" onto other clones, greatly expanding their options and staying power.

Biolab: Overhaul, Meatball, Super Regeneration: Easily the most unfair combination, but if my goal is to make it through and make a difference, then I'll need all the help I can get. I've already discussed the merits of "Meatball" and "Super Regeneration" together, but being able to apply all of that with "Overhaul" is what makes it so dangerous. Between the regeneration and the sheer control I have, I'm going to make Kaiju Overhaul look like a joke. And that's not even mentioning everything I could do to other people.

[tarrenterror25]

Tysm for responding :)

I was thinking about Harvey and/or Roman with an s/o who’s rational and calm and how they’d try to get either one of them to chill out when they were angry.

Hopefully this is ok!

- 🖤🦈

OH 💖 MY BOYS ✨ Thank you for asking about them both because I love both of them so much!

Ohmygoodness, calm and rationale S/O with two of the grumpiest rogues! 💕 Thank you for this ask!! I had fun really thinking about this and I may have approached it differently than you were expecting? But I hope you like it!

This is SFW, but adding these tags just to be safe.

Tags: image of alcohol, mention of violence, mention of crime, brief mention of death, mention of childhood neglect/trauma and paranoia

Harvey Dent/Two-Face and Roman Sionis/Black Mask x Calm!S/O

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

The heist went bad and it wasn't even because of the Batman. The thugs tripped the alarm and they didn't have the car pulled up to the right bank, which left Two-Face and his gang standing on the sidewalk with bags of money looking around like they were waiting on a taxi in the dead of night. When he gets back to the hideout, he's livid; knocking things over, shouting, and flipping his coin to decide if the incompetent henchmen get to live.

You're level headed, but that doesn't mean you're quiet. you'll have to be firm and a bit loud for Two-Face to turn his attention to you.

You'll have to help him focus on the positives. He thinks it's a little hippy dippy, but your logic makes perfect sense.

"Hey!" you shout. "What's important right now is that we made it back in one piece and I don't hear any sirens either which means the GCPD isn’t onto us. We have time to cover our tracks."

Harvey used to be DA and definitely knows how to be rational, he just forgets sometimes, so when you say things that make sense, it reels him back in. He reminds you that you being so smart and collected is one of the reasons he loves you. You ground him and help get his head on straight.

If you guys are in the middle of a heist and he starts letting his anger get to him, you’re gonna have to delegate. Some of the thugs won’t like it so again you have to be firm and fearless while keeping your cool. Step up and take some of the work off Harvey/Two-Face’s shoulders. Two-Face will pout about it, but Harvey will be grateful for one less of a headache.

You have found that Harvey and Two-Face like to fidget, usually with the coin, but not even in a “I’m going to flip kind of way”, he just needs his hands on something. The accident did nothing to calm his nerves and you know he keeps a lot of stuff buried deep down. You offer him fidget cubes instead to help him keep his cool. You explain their purpose and how he can use it wherever he is. Again, he thinks it’s weird, but damn does it make sense and to his surprise, it works. He uses it while he speaks to his gang so his thoughts can come out clearer and he can confer to the coin with a more precise question.

If his hands aren’t fidgeting then they usually are causing some kind of destruction. When he’s about to break something or punch a wall, you just toss him a squishy stress toy thing instead.

“What the hell is this?” he asks. “Squeeze it,” you instruct. He gives it a squish. “Is this supposed to do anything?” “It’s to keep you from wrecking the place.” “Oh...” Another squish.

He thinks it’s silly that you got him one with those cute-sy faces, but from the corner of your eye you see him smirk when he pokes their eyes in. He typically uses these when he’s pacing and thinking. You do occasionally find little foam pieces on the floor from where’s he’s picked away at them.

Physical touch from you as his S/O will definitely bring him some calm. Harvey has some self-image issues that attribute to his anger so you touching him in anyway helps. Holding his hand, a back rub, touching his cheek, a kiss, or even an encouraging hand on his shoulder steadies him.

Roman Sionis/Black Mask

He’s speaking to his gang about some business matter and then one of the thugs coughs. You had been maintaining eye contact with them, shouting with wide eyes for them to choke it down, to hold it back, do anything to keep from coughing while Roman was speaking. They failed and tried to excuse themselves, but that only made Roman more angry.

You step in and help the guy leave the room before Roman rearranges his face and you dismiss everyone. Roman will throw a fit for you to let him make an example of them, but you’ll ignore his threats and just hold him.

Roman didn’t get much affection as a kid and doesn’t get much now, but a good tight hug renders him helpless in your arms. It takes a second, but he’ll return the gesture and calm down enough for you to speak to him without him shouting. The first time you hugged him he thought it was, well, stupid, but he came around to the gesture.

“A hug? Fuck, no.” “Trust me. It releases oxytocin and lowers stress levels.” “No, I don’t want to- oh....okay, yeah, that feels kinda nice...” “It’s called the love hormone and also is associated with feelings of bonding and trust.” “Alright, alright, I get it.”

Roman’s paranoia often gets the best of him and makes him irrational. He’ll spiral into delusions, sometimes even where it concerns you. Everyone’s trying to hurt him or trying to betray him. There’s no one he can trust and he has to be on alert.

With your calm demeanor, you talk him down from his paranoia. As his S/O, affirmations from you that you aren’t afraid of him will help him the most. Roman needs to be held and told that’s gonna be alright and that you’re there for him.

“I’m here and we can figure this out together.” “I’m not going anywhere.” “We can sort this out, we always do.”

He loves your care for him, he’s never had someone at his side like you. Most people are just a body to sleep next to at night, but you are always present with him.

Roman had a very destructive play style as a child and it’s still present now. It’s almost compulsive how he destroys his surroundings. Your solution? Taking him to a rage room.

“So...I can just break this stuff...on purpose?” “Yes.” You gesture for him to give the bat in his hand a swing. He just gingerly knocks over a glass vase off a table and it shatters on the floor. “Like that?” he asks. You nod. “Less of a mess at our place.”

He loves it and is now less likely to destroy any of the furnishings at home! He actually thinks it’s pretty fun and doubles as a good work out. After you guys are done at the rage room, he’ll come home and immediately take a nap. Can’t get angry if he’s asleep!

✨ I hope you liked these! 💕

[dolleholic]

𝘌𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴𝘢, ���𝘭𝘰𝘣𝘨𝘰𝘳/ 𝘈𝘥𝘰𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳.

꒰ 🥛 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ ECLIPSA, GLOBGOR / CHILD READER

( TYSM Anon!! I’m very happy to be giving you some headcanons for this!! I bet it’s really fun )

;; Y/N is adopted in this, meaning they aren’t a true butterfly— but they are family! ;;

Introductions!~ ;;

— it was a cold and wet day when Eclipsa and Globgor found you, it was after the rain and they were taking a stroll in the rose gardens

— that’s when they heard it.. it was a you! Bundled up in a purple blanket with an umbrella covering you..

— Eclipsa practically Begged Globgor to keep you.. she was literally on her knees!

“Globgor, dear, please!~ look at how sweet and cute they are!”

“no- honey- we already have a child! That’s perfectly enough!”

— but, Eclipsa still carried you home in the palace, now giving you milk from a bottle as Globgor struggled to find a name.

— They struggled and struggled until they found the perfect name.. Y/N!..

— It fit you perfectly, as you were always so cute!~ In Eclipsa’s eyes..

——————

With Eclipsa!~ ;;

— you are a sweetheart towards Eclipsa, like, seriously, you’re probably a Mommy’s kid when you’re with her.

— When you were a baby, you always stopped crying at her delicate touch.

— Though, once you when you were in her arms she heard something excited and she almost dropped you!..

— The time once you were older, though, Eclipsa told you enough about fighting and the wand! She taught you about spells and what you could do with them.

— She would absolutely sing you lullabies and tell you stories for you to go to bed to. She loved watching you fall asleep. Especially in her arms.

— Eclipsa sees so much of her inside of you, wether it’s personality or physical— she just wants the best for you..

— Eclipsa overall is very fun loving and supportive, but sometimes very stressful and very careless.

——————

With Globgor!~ ;;

— He is 100% protective of you, regardless of how old you are. He will always protect you. But be really soft about it.

— Hey, did I tell you about that time you said you had a Girlfriend/boyfriend/partner when you were really young? Yeah, no, you never went to that school ever again

— Globgor is probably the chef of the family, so he probably teaches you some stuff about cooking so you can have a hobby! Like him!

— Camping. Camping, camping, camping. It’s a must. It always will be a must. Picnics? That’s coming with Camping. Just a stroll? That’s camping

— He probably knows how to braid your hair and knows how to untangle it. If you don’t have hair, he gives awesome messages!

— One time, you acted so much like Eclipsa he legitimately thought you guys were related in some way.

— he’s so easy to fool, and he’s so easy to prank.. no idea why, he just is.

— Globgor is probably such a kind and soft soul, but when he’s angry.. you better run. He is going to be screaming, and most likely having a lot of voice cracks.

— Globgor overall is very understanding and just, while also fairly strict and overprotective. He knows his limits.. he just doesn’t want you to get hurt. Especially with love.

[tsaritza-mika]

Unpopular Opinion #3

Okay...so this might ruffle some feathers, but I still really feel it needs to be said. As always, if you don’t like what I have to say, just keep scrolling. I am a full believer in curating your own internet experience, and if you find yourself upset about a random opinion, please just leave and find something that makes you happy. You deserve it, and I promise that you will never hear me advocate otherwise.

Now then... Let’s talk a bit about our favorite mountain man. Shall we?

I see a lot of posts, especially as of late, that really go hard on the way Muriel’s route dealt with his various issues. Now, yes, Muriel is not one of my top LIs, he’s jut not the personality type that really gels with me, but I love him as much as I do all six of them for different reasons. I also acknowledge that his route isn’t perfect, but I honestly don’t think it’s nearly as bad as other people automatically jump to. Muriel has a metric fucking ton of issues, which include severe lack of self esteem, trauma that links to both those self esteem issues and his time in Vesuvia’s arena, depression, and some fun little sprinklings of Nihilism just for extra flavor. And all of that is just from a pure amateur observation. I’m not a psychologist, nor will I ever claim to be, but from the little bit that I know from former college classes and being friends with people who have experienced trauma from various forms of abuse, Muriel has all of these issues, and likely more that I’m not immediately familiar with.

A good amount of people in the fandom seem to believe that a better way for Muriel’s route to go would have had him ending up being more forceful in standing up to Lucio, really digging into him for the harm that he caused and is still causing, and more of coming out of his shell than he did. Now, while that would be a more dramatic take, you’ve gotta keep something important in mind: give or take a few years, Muriel has been dealing with most of these issues since he was at least around 6-8 years old. If we assume he’s maybe somewhere along the lines of 26-28, that’s twenty years of issues in an increasingly hostile situation. A single year alone of that much negativity is likely to leave some pretty impressive mental scars, let alone the possibility of twenty or more.

People who experience trauma will process and react to it differently, this is true, but to say that it’s OOC to have Muriel just be only a little more talkative and at ease with others outside of MC and Asra, strikes me as those who aren’t very familiar with how trauma can actually work. The entire ‘stick it to them’ fantasy seems great and totally cathartic in theory, but when victims of abuse and trauma actually have that chance, more often than not, I’ve only ever known them to prefer not wanting to be anywhere near their tormentors. Muriel actually being comfortable with himself, speaking up more, but still very much wanting his distance from everyone is a HUGE step in his healing process, and I honestly don’t think people give him enough credit for that. 

Muriel has been exploited and manipulated, verbally and likely physically abused, and all of that we could apply to JUST the time he was known in Vesuvia under the mantle of ‘The Scourge of The South’. We see in the Travel at Night tale that he already dealt with excess stress and fear from traveling through a war-zone at a very young age, where he says he even distinctly remembers hearing Lucio enjoying himself as he killed others. He’s already terrified by roughly age 12 when Lucio picks him out of the other street kids. He’s very aware that Lucio would enjoy hunting and killing him, and for a child to be aware of this, that alone is gonna fuck him up somethin’ fierce for a long time. Hell, when Lucio points him out from the other kids, he’s so afraid of him and what he knows Lucio is capable of, that his arms and legs go numb, and he can’t move. And later when he’s talking to Asra, if chosen, the response he gives Asra when asked about what he would do with magic is to make himself invisible, the very thing he’d wanted since the start of that tale. He wanted to be left alone, not deal with those kids who wanted to hurt others and steal, or be noticed by Lucio.

Muriel even straight up tells MC and Julian when they visit him in the forest during Julian’s route that he asked to have the gift of being forgotten. If he was forgotten as soon as he left someone’s sight, he wouldn’t be exploited anymore, and he wouldn’t be forced to take lives in exchange for keeping his most precious person safe anymore. To Muriel, deeply set in his traumatized and self loathing state, it was the perfect solution. Being forgotten meant that he wouldn’t take up space, that no one would force him to hurt or scare others just to exist, and that Asra, the only person who had ever told him he was worth it and more, wouldn’t be taken from him. 

You don’t just magically get better when your tormentor is gone or gets what they deserve, and confronting your abuser is not always going to be the right answer that puts you on the road to healing those mental scars. Muriel is far from cured of his issues by the end of his route. If anything, the end of his route is just the start of his even longer road to recovery and being able to fully enjoy and embrace life without fear that he’s taking up space and isn’t wanted. He’s just gotten better about it all. People who experience trauma can take years to even begin to feel comfortable in their own skin, but Muriel learning that he has value, that others value him and want him around without asking for anything in return, and to learn that others will sacrifice for you because they want your happiness instead of some leverage on something you can do for them; there is just so much beauty in the subtlety of that, and I honestly don’t think it gets the attention it rightfully deserves.