#the petals of my life having some new colours every time

[luetta]

one of the most underrated feelings is when you discover a new song it completely dropkicks the emotional waterslide you were going down and punts you into a new mindset and direction

[enjakey]

Through Plastic Screens

Pairing: Niki x Fem!Reader

Old fic (8k) being reposted AGAIN. Not plagiarised guys, it’s the same person. I literally cry every time I reread this. It’s gotta be one of my favourite fics I’ve written.

There’s so much yearning, so much slow burn- and I chose to hurt myself by writing this.

Summary: in which Niki, enhypen’s baby, falls in love with a fan, Y/N. And somehow, through all the tribulations of life, they stay in touch. Calls, texts, videos and pictures- it was all they ever knew of each other, how they fell in love. But how long would this last, pining for each other through plastic screens? But they refuse to leave each other’s lives- even ten years later, when they’re old enough to get married and have stable careers.

Read the extra HERE

I

There were many things about Y/N that Niki admired. He liked her habit of twirling locks of her hair around her finger whenever she spoke nervously, the ritual serving her endearing and beautiful features. He liked how her hair fell to her waist in waves that reminded him of a sunny day on the beach and palm trees with coconuts. He liked the twinkle in her eyes while she spoke to him, myriad anecdotes and jokes hidden behind her irises to share. He liked her fingers, supple and lean while he held them with cautious and almost shaky hands. He also liked her sense of fashion, simple and clean with the smallest pops of vibrant and neon colours that appeared in her jewellery or her shoes.

Then there was her laugh, joyous and juvenile whenever he made a joke yet the back of her hand would always hide her smile, which he imagined was captivating as well. He thought her voice was enchanting, casting some sort of spell on him that made him repeat every syllable she had ever spoken in his head like a beautiful broken tape record; like he had found his new favourite song and would listen to it on repeat until he got sick of it and would wait until he heard her say more sentences that he could repeat in his head. He found it fascinating that she wanted to study planetary sciences once graduating high school, making him realise she was smart and ambitious with great hopes for the future.

He could tell she was a shy girl by the way she would be at a loss of words with some of the things he said. He could also tell that she was the type of person to have very few friends by the way she talked about school and any experiences she thought to mention. He wasn’t judging her, but rather applauding her kind and caring personality, a personality built so graciously out of rose petals and tufts of clouds. He knew, just by the way she listened to him intently with curious eyes, that she was the girl that jumped to help any friend in need. And he also knew that she didn’t have anyone in her life who would be there for her when she needed it, regardless of whether she asked for support or not.

While talking to her, he felt like he was her knight in shining armour. He held her hand between his palms and he felt as though he was protecting her from all the misery anyone would and could bring her throughout the rest of her life. Her violet sundress was suddenly transformed into a period gown and her hair was curled to perfection, styled into what he would imagine princesses and queens used to wear back in the days of royalty. He felt as though they were riding away into the sunset on a horse, hand in hand while her sweet laughter of relief echoed into the background. She looked at him like he was a saviour, her saviour, and he wished to play that character for longer than he would be an idol.

Niki noticed and thought of everything previously mentioned in the span of eight minutes. If he was forced to be precise, it was exactly seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds. It was the total amount of time he had ever spent with her and there was little to no chance he would meet her, or see her, ever again. Because he met Y/N during an off-line fan signing and he found himself being swept off his feet by a simple conversation with a girl almost his age, visiting Korea with her parents for vacation and making use of her only chance to meet the members of her favourite boy group. By his luck, he just so happened to be her favourite member- her bias.

There wasn’t a time in his career of being a kpop idol that he felt insecure. He had always known that he was attractive, fitting the standards of modern male beauty which were enhanced by the mole on his chin and his boxy smile. But that day, after he got home from the fan-signing, Niki spent hours staring at himself in the mirror, brushing his fingers over his chin and nose and jawline, wondering if he truly was attractive and worthy enough to be favorited by Y/N and wondering if she only biased him in their similarities in age and nothing else. His hands carded through his hair, letting it fall messily past his forehead and temples and assessing whether it suited him or not and recalling if the wind had ruined it all while he was talking to her. He hoped and prayed to God, someone he didn’t even believe in, that she didn’t regret meeting him that day and that she was more in love with him by the end of their interaction because he was being himself, saying things most people would say to an old friend with trust and security and comfort. He felt comfortable around her, free like he could be himself without the curse of judgement looming over him. And he smiled freely and naturally with her without the presence of awkwardness like it was with everyone else he met that day. He could sense her aura, this pull about her that made him feel like he could do and say anything in front of her and she wouldn’t think of him any less.

He hoped his judgement of character wasn’t wrong.

Niki was part of a couple of offline fan signings till now. He had met a lot of people- girls who squealed at the sight of him and complimented him every chance they got, but he never met someone like Y/N . He never met anyone that could intrigue and endear them as much as she did, fluster him with a bat of her eyelids and a tilt of her head. He didn't think eyes of curiosity could have such a hold on him, pushing and encouraging him to speak more about himself due to the care and solace that lay underneath. A part of him was convincing himself that he would meet more girls like her as he lived on. He would meet more people like her and make him want to be himself and that people like her could be found anywhere if he simply looked in the right places. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised how that person wouldn’t be Y/N . They wouldn’t have the same hair as her or the same smile, skin, nose and eyes. He just wanted it to be Y/N.

He spent weeks thinking about her, hoping to bump into her every time he walked into a convenience store or travelled past a tourist attraction and looked around to see if he could spot her posing somewhere while her parents took pictures of her. He even bought her a necklace from one of those stalls on the streets, thinking it would be a romantic gesture if he gave it to her the next time he’d see her. But alas, no matter how much he wished to catch another glimpse of her or hear her voice for another second, Y/N was probably back in whichever country she came from and all he was left with was her name and an exchange that lasted seven minutes and thirty-eight seconds.

Between the third week of Niki wishing for Y/N , sadness had crashed into him like a wave, along with the tides of realization that his emotions would forever stay unrequited and unconfessed. He would brood over his schedules and drag himself around with a frown or heavy eyes. His shoulders were often slumped and his enthusiasm while playing video games with Heeseung or Jake disappeared. His only form of distraction and an outlet for his frustration became dancing, as it always had been since he was a child, and he found himself spending extended hours in the dance studio, running and jumping and even yelling throughout choreographies. It was like one day he was a boy filled with so much hope and love and now he was grieving over something that never was.

His change in behaviour didn’t go unnoticed by anyone. The management once scolded him for not showing enough enthusiasm during a V-Live and the rest of the members became officially concerned when he let the chance to make a perfectly timed joke slip by. It was painful watching the boy tut and sneer at things that would normally bring him joy- gaming, food, football and even watching horror movies with Sunoo. Every night he would come home, he would mumble his greetings to anyone else in the house and go straight to bed. Sometimes he'd skip dinner, other times he'd skip breakfast and on days where his schedule was empty, he'd lay in bed all day, watching a show while not even bothering to shower.

It took two days for Jay to beat out a confession from Niki, where he finally cried out his longing for a girl that was equivalent to a stranger. He weeded and sobbed and his eyes grew red and puffy and his body trembled while he dealt with emotions he couldn't understand because it was all so unfamiliar, so unheard of for someone to manifest such deep sentiment towards strangers. Y/N was equivalent to a girl he'd find attractive walking down the street and she was equivalent to any classmate of his he remembered from kindergarten yet here he was, curled up into a ball while his Hyung patted his head and told him that feeling confused and lost was an appropriate reaction to the predicament he put himself in.

The seven of them convinced the management to let them go out for dinner that night. They went to a Korean Barbeque not too far into the city, one which Niki used to always say he wanted to try out. Two guards stood in front of their table, standing high and mighty to make sure no one but the waiters interacted with them. The restaurant was fairly bustling, smoke filling the atmosphere along with the smell of grilled pork and lamb. From the corners of their eyes, they could tell some of the other customers recognised them, feeling sneaky cameras pointing toward them and groups of college students snickering and whispering about their presence.

Niki was talkative after a long time, contributing to whatever topic Jake was spouting about and making fun of Sunghoon when he got the chance. He ate properly after a long time, even accepting when Sunoo reached over the table to feed him enoki mushrooms. He seemed like himself after a long time and he was confiding in them, telling them about Y/N and the little things he could recall about her- her dangly earrings, silver chain around her wrist and neck and pastel yellow nails. Then he told them about his pining for her, how he spent hours trying to look for her on social media and how he carried around the necklace he bought for her in hopes of finding her someday.

“Do you have it with you right now?” Jungwon asked out of curiosity.

Niki nodded, reaching into the pocket of his jeans to pull out a slim silver chain with the pendant of a vibrant sunflower. It reflected against the tube lights hanging above them, twinkling and mirroring shades of yellow onto the white wall. The group was awed at the piece of jewellery, wondering how much it must have cost and hoping it wouldn’t go to waste. They gasped even louder when they were told that he bought it from a street vendor.

“This is stupid, right?” he said as Jungwon took the necklace from him, allowing Jay and Heeseung to admire it with him. “I mean, I’ve only known her for eight minutes and I’m so head over heels for her. Like, I’ve got to be stupid.”

“Yeah, you’re like the twenty-first-century Romeo,” Jake snickered, clicking his chopsticks together before earning a slap on the arm from Sunoo.

“Someone tell me I’m stupid,” Niki drooped his shoulders and looked around the group.

Jay cleared his throat, swallowing the last of his food. “You’re stupid,” he deadpanned and narrowed his eyes.

“Ok, that didn’t help,” Niki rolled his eyes and slumped into his seat.

“Dude, if you wanna get over her, the first thing you need to do is get rid of that necklace,” Sunoo pointed his chopsticks at Niki, a look of promise and determination on his face.

“Why would that work?” Niki asked.

“It’s like a form of cleansing,” Sunoo enthused, his voice softening as his hands. Everyone turned to look at him, some fighting the urge to laugh and others furrowing their brows in confusion. Upon noticing this, Sunoo raised his brows and tutted. “I’m serious! It’s the first step of letting go. Once Niki throws the necklace away, he’ll feel like he doesn’t owe her anything anymore and he can start to slowly move on from her.”

“And where did you get this from?” Sunghoon threw his head back in laughter. “From some k-drama?”

“No,” Sunoo jutted his bottom lip forward, puffing his cheeks. “My sister,” he looked down as though he was embarrassed as the rest of them burst into laughter.

“So you want me to throw this necklace away?” Niki confirmed and Sunoo nodded.

Jake was now holding the necklace, holding it towards the light and admiring it as though it was a crystalline diamond. The petals were a flaxen yellow, its small stem and leaf drenched in lush green. “This is a beautiful necklace, though,” he mumbled but was ignored as everyone was caught up in convincing Niki to throw it away and start anew. They were bustling like bees, arguing and urging in hushed noises so the guards wouldn’t hear while Niki sat silently, appalled by the only choice he was given.

“But what if I do see her again?” He reasoned.

“But do you really think it will happen?” Heeseung asked. “If you wholeheartedly do, then fair enough,” he shrugged.

“A huge part of me knows I’ll never see her again,” Niki sighed, looking to his side. “But I keep hoping that maybe fate will bring us together, you know? Like she’s not the only girl I’ve ever liked but she’s the only girl I’ve ever felt so strongly for. Isn’t it so pathetic of me? Right now, I’m wishing that she’ll walk through that door…”

Just then, the ring of the entry bell cut through Niki’s cinematic speech. For an instant, the entire restaurant ceased to silence and Niki’s gaze drifted towards the door. He first noticed a hand that held the door open, then her hair which was swaying to the side as she looked over her shoulder. Then she stepped into the restaurant, a smile glimmering under white lights and when her face came into view, Niki’s mouth parted, chin gapping as he soaked in the reality of the moment. The rest of the group turned in the direction he was looking, Sunghoon nudging Jake’s side so he would look away from the necklace and at the girl standing three tables away from them. All eyes were on her and Niki was shifting off his chair, slowly standing on his feet with mesmerised eyes and parted lips, an arm lifting so his finger could meekly point towards her.

“Y/N,” he breathed.

By hearing that, Jake’s brows raised, eyes widening with a gaping mouth. His chopsticks pointed at the necklace held in his hand and then at the girl everyone was staring at, his gaze focused on Jungwon who nodded enthusiastically, confirming his doubt. Sunghoon looked between Niki and Y/N , wondering what would happen next and Heeseung looked amazed, thinking about how the boy’s wish practically came true. It was too much of a coincidence, one that would go down the history book of romance. They all might as well be the side characters to a k-drama, watching the hero finally meet the heroine after an unfortunate incident.

“Y/N?” Niki’s head tilted to the side, brows furrowing like he was confused, refusing to accept that after four weeks of looking and wishing and pining she was standing right there, in front of him, under the same roof as him, breathing the same air scents as him.

She was dragging her parents to a table on the other end of the restaurant, a waiter guiding them with welcoming smiles and handing them an English menu. Niki’s eyes followed them as they took their seats. Y/N was smiling like she was on top of the world, hair bouncing around as she talked about something that made her father laugh and her mother shake her head in disappointment. She had on a different pair of earrings, as far as he could see, but she wore the same rings, bracelets and necklace from the last time he saw her.

“Am I dreaming?” Niki said, blinking profusely and pinching himself to feel some sort of sensation- he flinched and yelped in surprise. “Am I seeing things?”

“Is she wearing white jeans and a white tank top with designs of some anime character in red?” Jay raised a brow.

“Yeah.”

“She’s real,” he patted Niki’s back twice.

“Y/N!” Niki snatched the necklace away from Jake’s hand and sped away from the table. Sunghoon and Jungwon called out for him but nothing but her laugh was audible to him as he jogged towards her with no clear aim or plan in his head.

He didn’t know what he was going to say to her and he didn’t know how he was going to introduce himself to her parents without sounding like a love-struck idiot. All he knew was that he was impatient to speak to her again, to hear her words directed towards him and hear her laugh at his jokes and pick-up lines. His wishes were finally coming true, all the energy he spent drooping and whining over finally becoming worth something and as he came closer to her, his smile grew wider, a youthful excitement hovering over his head as his heart beat faster than it did while performing in front of a crowd of millions.

His signature boxy smile appeared on his face when he finally reached her table, chest heaving up and down as he tried catching his breath. Y/N noticed him with wide eyes, a tinge of fear flashing across her eyes when her parents turned their heads to find a tall boy dressed in swanky clothes with styled hair. “Niki?” She said, stunned by his presence.

“Hi,” he said, waving his hand at the group of three.

“Who are you?” Her father pointed a mean finger at him, silently asking him to walk away.

“Is he from that boy band you went to meet?” Her mother spoke softly, eyes darting between her dumbfounded daughter and awkward celebrity that was equivalent to a stranger.

“Yeah, he is,” Y/N cleared her throat. “You’re… why? How? I don’t even know what to say… why are you here?”

“I need to talk to you,” Niki said, frankly. He gulped down a lump in his throat while he tried ignoring the flashing glares her father gave him.

“What is going on?” He demanded.

“I don’t know!” Y/N brought her palms to her temples, feeling a rush of blood flow to her cheeks in embarrassment.

“Please?” Niki met Y/N ’s eyes for the first time that night and time seemed to slow for a second. His eyes were glassy, her words stuck in her throat.

“Yeah,” she cleared her throat and hastily apologised to her parents. “I’ll be back.”

Niki pulled Y/N out of the restaurant by her hand and she followed him while almost tripping on her feet. They stood near one of the windows, looking at one another for a few seconds, pacing around their feet. It was chilly and she shivered, teeth clattering as she wrapped her arms around herself. To keep her mind distracted from the fact that she was standing in front of her idol, her celebrity crush, she thought about how she should have listened to her mother and worn something with full sleeves and gotten a jacket.

“Are you cold?” He asked while removing his trench coat. “Here,” he said, handing it to her, comfortably standing in the cold with a shirt and knitted vest.

“Niki… what is all this?” She took the jacket from him, gaze not leaving his as she put it on and hugged it against her torso. “Normally, I would take a minute to be talking to you because you’re a kpop star and all that and honestly, any girl would be freaking out at the moment and even I am internally but I’m also really confused because you still remember my name and I didn’t think you would remember my name because you have more important things to remember and it’s really an honour-”

“You’re blabbering,” Niki grinned, tilting his head downwards so he could get a better look at her. He was towering over her, his hair falling onto his forehead and hands stuffed into his pockets to form an infatuated aura about him. She was also intimidated by him, her nerves only being eased by the jacket covering her arms. “Do you do that when you’re nervous?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, chewing the inside of her cheek. She was fighting the urge to meddle with her hair because if she did, then the jacket would loosen around her and she would feel cold. Instead, she would occasionally brush stray strands of her hair away from her hair.

“That’s alright. And please, call me Riki instead”

Niki didn’t know what to say anymore. The girl of practically his dreams was standing in front of him and he had all the freedom to do or say whatever he wanted but he didn’t know how to. He was shy, even embarrassed by his emotions as he looked at the girl in front of him, wondering how he was going to explain what he had been feeling for the past four weeks. From the corner of his eyes, he saw the rest of his members trying to stealthily peek at the pair from the window and he almost scowled.

She noticed the change in his expression and she looked over to find that all of them were there. Jay and Sunghoon were seated closest to the window so she could see them clearly eyeing them, observing their every move. Behind them were Jake, Sunoo and Jungwon and she could catch a glimpse of Heeseung nudging himself closer to the window so he could watch what the youngest of them was doing and acting. Realising that Y/N had caught them peeping, they all turned away and attempted to pretend like they had been eating and minding their own business all along.

“Oh, God,” she said, turning back to him in panic. “This just makes me more nervous. They’re all watching? Holy shit-”

“No, no, don’t worry,” Niki frantically shook his hands in front of him. “You don’t need to be nervous, they don’t mean any harm. I can take you to meet them if you’d like?”

“No, that’s really not necessary,” she chuckled awkwardly. “I’m a bit too shy for that.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “They all still remember talking to you during that fan signing, too.”

“Really?” she awed.

“Yeah, really.”

“It’s a miracle I’m not freaking out right now,” she grinned, leaning her head to the side. “So, why did you want to speak to me anyway?”

“Well,” Niki started, looking to his feet as he formed his words in his head.

“What is it?” She urged.

“I don’t know how to put this easily.”

“Well, then, just say it how you’re comfortable with it. You dragged me outside so you might as well just say it,” she chuckled with comforting eyes, her toothy smile soothing his nerves.

“Y/N , I really like you.”

Niki didn’t know how he let the words roll off his tongue so nonchalantly but he supposed his confidence made him look more attractive. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and darted his eyes around the changes in her face. Her brows slowly raised as she comprehended his words and her eyelids fluttered before her eyes grew to the size of baseballs. Her mouth opened and closed in repeat like she wanted to say something or spew out words of puzzlement but she couldn’t bring herself to. In the end, she was a stuttering mess, eyes glued to him and scared to shift her gaze.

“And I’d really like it if we could meet again tomorrow,” Niki added, in hopes of getting an answer from her.

There was a loud silence that followed. Y/N ’s mouth zipped shut and she pushed another lump of dread down her throat. A breeze blew past them, swaying their hair and bringing a few dried leaves to circle around them. It truly felt as though they were transported into a cliche scene from a romantic k-drama where the hero and heroine would be caught up in some quarrel but would end their argument by confessing their feelings for each other. But this was reality, as much as it felt like a dream, and the universe usually worked against the bigger pictures they dreamt for themselves.

“Riki, I’m leaving tomorrow.”

II

In the five years Niki worked as a kpop idol, he had met many people from celebrities and influential members of politics and media to the fans that he adored so much and in those five years, Y/N was the only friend he made that wasn’t part of his group. He had known her for a little over three years, their friendship solely based on physical interactions that lasted a whopping seventeen minutes, texts that went on for days and calls that started in the middle of the night and ended by sunrise. At the end of every day, despite their differences in time zones, they would text each other about their days, giving each other an insight into the most mundane details of their schedules and families. If Niki wasn’t tired and if Y/N was free, they would call during his night and her afternoon, sometimes watching a movie together or talking about something that would be deemed irrelevant the next hour.

Calls and texts were rare and if it weren’t for Y/N ’s patience and understanding nature, they probably wouldn’t even be friends. She cherished every moment she could spend with him, caring for him in the only form she could through the plastic screens of her phone and laptop. She would check on him every once in a while, listen to him when he ranted about homesickness or the hecticness of his schedule and she even sent him care packages every six months. The sunflower pendant he bought for her all those months ago never left her neck and the jacket he let her borrow would be on her shoulders every time winter came. Niki would update her about his day through random pictures and snippets of videos he would take in between work and travelling. He also had a habit of sending terribly long voice notes filled with conversations between him and some of the other members. There was a bracelet of hers that she had given him the last time they met. The black and white beads stayed on his wrist no matter where he went or what he was wearing. It was little things like such that kept them close despite the distance between them and despite going days or weeks without speaking sometimes. They had the type of friendship that people wished they had, the type of friendship teenagers would grow jealous over.

Yet, Niki was always disappointed with how their relationship never progressed from friends.

In all honesty, he knew they would never work out as a couple. His career in the kpop industry strengthened and monumented by the day and he was already starting to make plans for his future for the days when he wouldn't be performing on stage and recording albums anymore. There lay a lot of pressure on his shoulders, along with odds stacked against his hopes for finding love. Y/N was fully focused on building herself a career in astronomy, studying extra hours and assisting as her professor's subordinate. She even worked internships, her talent and knowledge solidifying her career before she even graduated college. There was still a long road of schools and programs she had to finish before she could call her career something to be proud of and getting into a relationship, especially one that was online, would be a risk for both of them.

There were things they expected and needed from a significant other that they couldn't offer each other through texts and calls, which weren't even as consistent as they would like them to be. They wouldn't be able to go on dates and get to know how they would act if they were physically in front of each other. They wouldn't be able to hug, hold hands or kiss as normal couples do. They wouldn't be able to console each other on bad days because sometimes, words and random memes pulled from Pinterest just weren't enough.

So, despite how much they hated it, they would stay friends, online friends, until some miracle brought Y/N to Korea or Niki to America, where she was studying.

There were times Niki would hope he would find another fan to fall in love with the way he found Y/N . During meet and greets, he would cautiously and meticulously plan questions to ask the people that came to meet him in hopes of replacing the emptiness Y/N had left in his heart. But there was no other like her. He met girls that were bold and confident and he met girls that were smart enough to graduate from all the Ivy leagues. He even met girls that were sweet and kind and didn't have the heart to hurt a fly but they weren't Y/N and they didn't have her smile or that particular twinkle in their eyes and he had eventually given up.

"You know I've always loved you."

Niki was hiding under the covers, pressing his phone between his ear and the pillow and speaking in hushed whispers so he wouldn't wake his Hyungs. It was past one am for him and Y/N had just gotten back to her dorm after spending a day in the research lab with a classmate. They were both tired but could muster up enough energy to call for the first time again in a month. She moved to stand on her balcony, letting warm air hit her wind as she held her phone to her cheek.

"I know, Riki," she breathed. "You know I love you too."

"I've been thinking of all the possibilities of us being together and I just can't see it happening unless one of us sacrifices our careers."

She could hear his voice crack, soft whispers becoming broken mumbles as he continued speaking. She would be lying if she hadn't thought the same but she had always put it off, hoping for some miracle to take place so that one day she would find herself in his arms, put each other to sleep and waking each other up to the rays of sunshine protruding through curtains. But that would never happen, just like how they would never have their first hug, first kiss or first date together. Not now, at least.

"I've thought about it too," she twirled a lock of her hair around her finger and leaned against the railings. "We've talked about us getting into a relationship before. We know it's not a good idea. I'm fine staying just the way we are, you know?"

"I know, Y/N ," he sniffled. "But there's only so long either of us can wait for the impossible to happen, right?"

"What are you getting at?"

"I don't want to be hurt anymore over you and I don't want you wasting your hopes over me either."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm trying to say that if I end up finding someone else that I like, I'm going to try and move on and I think you should do the same."

Whenever Niki would go through an exceptionally bad day, he would put himself to sleep by watching a funny video of Y/N that he'd saved in his gallery. Some were videos of herself that she sent, shot by one of her friends while she said something comedic or did something regrettable. Other videos were filmed by himself, screen recordings of their video calls together while she did something stupid and childish for the sake of passing time or making laughter. These videos would usually wipe the tears or frown off his face and have him fall asleep with a smile but he didn't bother to do that after he hung up the phone with her that night. He roughly shoved his phone under his blanket and buried his face in his pillow, a string of sobs and cries muffled into it while he punched his clenched fists into the mattress.

He had awoken everyone at one point, yelling a string of profanities that made his Hyungs jump out of bed and run to his aid. He cried minimally but the salt tracks on his cheeks looked permanent. His hand stuck to the area over his chest where his heart resided, complaining about the fact that it physically hurt and taking painkillers didn't help him either. Jay and Heeseung sat with him until the sun rose, keeping him distracted with as much conversation as they could and even offered to play a game of football in the hall if he was interested.

The next two months were filled with minimal texts and pictures from his side. While she would blow up his phone with texts and pictures of updates about her life, he would respond with a few emojis and a short text explaining how his day was tiring and repetitive just like any other. He didn't send any pictures or voicemails and when they called, he barely spoke sentences that contributed to any conversation. When she found out from Jake that it wasn't just her he was acting depressed around, she yelled at him and gave him a piece of her mind until he came around and got over himself, finally coming back to his enthusiastic antics on the third month.

Life went on that way. Whatever priority he had given Y/N had shifted towards his career and whatever hopes she had for him had diminished. She still wore the necklace he gave her and he still wore the bracelet she gave him. She still used his jacket but care packages rarely went his way. They still texted but only once in a while as though they talked to each other for the sake of it. Their calls barely lasted for a few minutes because sometimes he would be busy touring and other times she would be busy with exams. So they resorted to sending voicemails to each other but only once in a while and soon, conversations were nonexistent.

“What happened to us?”

Y/N was in tears that night and she called him because she missed him. She missed her best friend and she missed how he cared about what happened in her day. She missed being excited to update him about her days regardless of whether they were boring or eventful. She missed sending him pictures and she missed how he used to appreciate her effort in the care packages she sent him or the random compliments or flattery he would text her. She simply missed him- being around him, talking to him, being able to crack jokes and laugh with him for hours about nothing in particular. But a part of her knew it wouldn’t be easy to go back to how they used to be.

“I don’t know, Y/N .”

“I miss my best friend,” she sobbed. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Y/N ,” Niki pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, fighting the tears that pooled in his eyes. “I’m really sorry.”

“I’m trying so hard but you’re not putting any effort and it feels like you don’t care. So, it just makes me want to do nothing and say nothing to you.”

“I’m trying too but I’ve been busy and you know that, Y/N .”

“Riki, even I’m busy. But I’m still trying, aren’t I?”

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m trying, too. I’m sorry.”

III

Seven years later, Y/N received a letter from Niki.

“I’m getting married,” it read in his handwriting. “And you better be there.”

Along with the note came a wedding invitation. It was a navy blue card with intricate designs printed in white and in the middle of it read “NIKI WEDS JOCELYN” in bold italics. Then, there was the RSVP card which asked if she was attending or not; if so, would she bring a plus one? It was simple for her to answer but she pondered whether to even attend the wedding. Buying plane tickets to Seoul, Korea wasn’t the issue but flying there meant taking a holiday from lectures at the university and if she wasn’t sure it was worth the sacrifice. She wasn’t sure if she had it in her to face Niki for the first time in forever. Even though they had a reason to meet again, to have her fly to where he was so they could finally meet, especially when he requested for her there, she didn’t think she wanted to take that opportunity.

Niki told her about Jacelyn a few years ago. It was a meaningless mention like she meant the equivalent to a coffee he drank that day. Y/N didn’t think much of the fact that he rarely ever talked about her. In the beginning, she thought their relationship must have started off smooth and loving but as time went on and when she didn’t hear her name again, she assumed they had separated. Staring at the wedding invitation in her hands, she didn’t know if she was supposed to feel surprised that his first relationship turned out to be his last or hurt by the fact that he never shared anything insightful about the girl he clearly loved so much.

Y/N didn’t know how their friendship was salvaged for such an extended period of time. Over the years, texting and calling became taboo between them. Instead, they would email each other. It was a ritual of long and chained emails they didn’t plan on breaking. They would write them once every few months, detailing the things they deemed were important to mention about themselves and she was surprised he didn’t mention the importance of his fiancee. She didn’t know when he proposed and she didn’t know how they met and she didn’t even know if it would make a difference if she attended the wedding or not.

She supposed he stopped mentioning Jocelyn for the sake of not hurting her. To be fair, Y/N wasn’t detailing her encounters of rendezvous with other men and various other love interests in her life to him either. Yet the difference was that the men in her life were flings, drifting in and out of days like clouds passing over her head whereas Jocelyn was Niki’s sun, a permanent aspect that would continue to cheer him on through day and night.

Nishimura Riki was now the proud owner of his own dance studio. He had twenty employees working under him and two hundred students learning under his aid, dreaming to be the next best dancer of Korea or another kpop star like he once used to be. He was also a brand ambassador for Prada and Bvlgari and producer for the talk show Jay and Jungwon had started hosting a while back. He needed someone like Jocelyn to cheer him on and support him and she could give him things Y/N never could.

Because, in the end, love wasn’t enough of a reason for Y/N to abandon her studies and start a life with a boy who didn’t know how to treat her the way she deserved. Love wasn’t enough for Niki to abandon his dreams and build a family with a girl who couldn’t offer him what he needed.

On the RSVP card, she ticked that she would attend without a plus one.

Y/N didn’t get a chance to meet Niki before the wedding began. Instead, the first time she saw him in person after almost ten years was while he was standing beside the priest in tears while he watched Jocelyn walk down the aisle. He listened to him recite his vows, his sweet words sounding so familiar to her because they were words he used to utter to her when they were sixteen, naive and infatuated with the confusion of lust and attraction. Now they were twenty-seven, burdened with wisdom they wished they didn’t have and experiences they wished they could wipe away. They wished they could be sixteen again and make the mistake of falling in love with the wrong person because, at the time, it was the best kind of high they could find.

After the ceremony was complete, Y/N walked around with curious eyes and the jacket he had given her all those years ago. It was old and wrinkled and no matter how many times she had given it to the dry-cleaners, she accepted that the loose strings and dried curry stains could never be fixed. She saw the previous ENHYPEN members walking around, talking amongst themselves or enjoying a glass of wine. Sunoo was the best man and he had the pleasure of greeting all the guests- she wondered why none of them approached her. She quickly realised that to them, she was just a stranger. She was someone no one knew, forgotten with ancient history and replaced by the better.

Niki no longer wore the bracelet she gave him. She wondered when he had thrown it away while she played with the sunflower pendant that continued to hang from her neck. She pondered leaving without bothering to greet the boy, to remain without the joy of being able to meet an old friend. They were only physically around each other for seventeen minutes, it would be alright if they kept it that way.

But he came jogging towards her with wide eyes and two glasses of wine held in his hands. He had that boxy smile plastered across his face, chest heaving with excitement as he stood in front of her. Deja vu washed over them, reminiscing about the time they had met in that Korean Barbeque restaurant all those years ago when he jogged up to her and her parents and gifted her the necklace that was now a relic of their history.

“I gave you that jacket to keep, you know? Not to return it on my wedding day.”

“It’s the first time we’re seeing each other in ten years and that’s the first thing you have to say to me?”

Nervous would be an understatement to describe what both of them were feeling at that moment. The wine glasses held in his hands could be seen shaking and her heart was beating loud enough for half of the guests to hear. Yet, they shrugged with awkward smiles on their faces and leaned forward, wrapping their arms around each other for the first time but it didn’t feel that way. It didn’t feel as special and cherished as they expected it to feel but rather normal and common.

“That was our first hug, huh?” Niki chuckled and she took a glass of wine from him.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” She scrunched her nose.

“It’s weird that it doesn’t feel weird.”

They clinked their glasses together and took the first sip.

Jocelyn walked towards them, her beautifully curled brown hair bouncing off her shoulders and dazzling hazel eyes smiling brighter for her instead of her lips. She was gorgeous and she started jumping around when she realised she was in the presence of Y/N , the girl Niki would talk about and praise all the time. It came as a shock to Y/N , looking between the married couple with a gaped mouth and a million thoughts running through her head.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t talk about you with her or the rest of the members?”

“None of them seem to remember me, though.”

“Oh, they remember you. I just don’t think they remember what you look like.”

Jocelyn left the pair to talk alone so she could tend to the rest of the guests. Y/N and Niki were left sipping on their unfinished wine, one replaying the events of the last few minutes and the other reminiscent of the last decade of their lives. He could still list out things that he admired about her. For instance, now, he didn’t feel the need to force out any conversation and he didn’t feel awkward now that they were meeting for the first time. He could admire her forever, not as a lover but rather as a friend because that was all they could ever be. He had a wife now and he was settled in life and Y/N was the person that had seen him grow and mature through the many stages of his life.

“You still wear that necklace,” he observed.

“Never took it off, Riki,” she pursed her lips. “And you stopped wearing my bracelet?”

“Yeah, I took it off a while back.”

“Nice.”

“It was my way of moving on, Y/N .”

She wasn’t angry, per se. Perhaps a little hurt, which manifested in the form of a pang in her chest but she accepted it in seconds, moving on from the pain and concentrating on the flavours of wine that sloshed around her tongue. Niki noticed that she was tapping her foot to the floor, almost as if she were impatient for something; he realised that her habit of twirling her hair around her finger was lost.

“I don’t think I stopped loving you until after I met Jocelyn.”

Y/N was probably the last guest to leave. Despite Niki and Jocelyn’s pleas for her to stay another night so they could go out for dinner and perhaps bond over lost time, she still hailed a cab to take her away to the airport. On her way there, she solemnly rested her head on the window, weakly chuckling when she realised that they had driven past the infamous Korean Barbeque she and Niki met at. She could almost relive the moment, see herself and him standing outside the restaurant while six other boys tried rubber-necking in their conversation.

Now that she was looking back, those memories were worthy enough to be laughed about. It was ancient history but it didn’t rip open a wound whenever it was talked about and she could accept that she wasn’t enough for her first love and her first love wasn’t enough for her.

She accepted that he got married and would start a family soon and she accepted that the next time they would meet again would probably be at her own wedding.

[hollowtones]

my month-late PAX West post (& a catalogue of some things I saw and did and bought in September / late August)

PAX West was very fun this year. It was my first ever PAX and it was my first convention at all in maybe a decade. Any excuse to see friends is a good one & I love hanging out with the RTVS crew whenever I have the time and money to travel. ^_^ I even got to see some friends I've never seen in person before!!! (Thank you to Jill and Evan for the "Petal Crash" pin & thank you to Taxi for stealing my name tag by accident.)

I am very shy, and I have very severe social anxiety that causes me a lot of problems in my day-to-day life, so I almost didn't go to the RTVS meetup. People there were very sweet, though, so I'm glad I did. It feels very heartening to have people come up to you and tell you what the things you've made have meant to them. It was very hard to not cry. LOL

If you stopped by to say hi, thank you very much. I've been thinking about it through all of September and smiling a lot about it. ^_^

The rest of this post is largely pics of things Puzz and I picked up for ourselves. (And a little bit of talking about some other things we did.) I thought it would be fun to catalogue them. I tend to be a little thrifty, so I got to splurge on my wife. LOL

These were mostly things we got for Puzz because I didn't want to worry about lugging things home in a suitcase. But she keeps telling me they're our things, which makes me smile every time I think about it. Some of the pins are for me. I'd like to put them on my backpack... Hopefully they don't fall off. Jackie and Dodogama are friends.

The "Chicory" bag is a bit of a funny story. Puzz and I saw the "Beastieball" booth in the corner of the indie section. Very fun demo. Very cute booth. They have cool merch! I thought I saw Lena Raine working the booth, and I got really shy & nervous about making a poor impression, so I just kind of hid behind my partner. (I wish I had said hi, in retrospect... but we live and we learn...) So we just kind of shuffle off to the merch desk and talk to a very nice man there while we pick up some things. I work up the guts to say that I really like these games and that they mean a lot to me!! The guy says, well thank you, that means a lot to me and the team. Wow! Real swell guy, I'm thinking to myself. A day or two later Puzz and I are out to lunch with some friends and I just suddenly go eyes wide & mouth agape because I put two and two together in my head and realize Oh holy shit that was Greg Lobanov wasn't it. LOL

Puzz found a cheap copy of "999: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors" for the DS at a retro game store's pop-up. They also had "A Bug's Life" for Game Boy Colour and a strategy guide for "Gex 3", both of which I wish I had picked up.

Mr. Basculin was a gift from Jake. Good news! Mr. Basculin is still alive.

This is all stuff that was given to me as gifts. (Aside from the con badges. They make you pay for those.) You've probably already seen the Bibi that Jake made me. "Chicken Run" was also from him. "Zapper" was from Puzz and the Gumby game (& the Bad Boe sticker) was from Scorpy. These games fuckin suck asshole!!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with them & I'll cherish them forever. I also got a little rock and a human dog keychain.

I think Scorpy said a fan gave this to him at PAX East to pass to me eventually. I'm having a hard time reading the @ on it, but on the off-chance you see this: thank you so much. Every time I think about it I get a little teary-eyed. I want to get myself a little picture frame for it. (This is the first time someone's given me fanart like this before, and it made me very emotional. LOL)

Puzz and I only got 2-day passes for PAX, so we spent the rest of our time in Seattle hanging out with friends and seeing the sights. I don't feel like digging all the photos out right now, but we went to a really fucking nice jazz club (Dimitriou's Jazz Alley - great ambience, really good food, we saw Keiko Matsui live which was life-changing), we visited MoPOP (I hadn't been in years! It was alright! Puzz had some capital-t Thoughts about the whole place which was fun to listen to!), we rode the trains, I got a big bag of Dicks, we walked around downtown. There was this really nice coffee shop that I keep having dreams about, so I hope I can go back to Seattle soon. (Or at least eventually, next year.) Then we went to Portland for a day to say hi to a friend because the state was nearby.

Then we went back to Puzz's place in California. Then there was a major heatwave & a bunch of wildfires nearby... So we didn't have the chance to get out much in September. But that's okay. We've both been tired lately & I think we both badly needed some dedicated Not Doing Things time. It's just a shame that it was enforced by Dangerous Weather Conditions.

We got to visit some local friends and I got to try out more Bog-Standard Mediocre American Food. (Dunkin Donuts is just Tim Hortons. Olive Garden is kind of scary but the salad was really good and the breadsticks were fine. I had a middling hamburger from Jack In The Box tonight. Their milkshake was very good. I'm sure I'm forgetting others.) I went to a Macy's for the first time and the layout of the store made me have a panic attack. We went for nice walks and saw lots of nice critters and plants. I got to swim! I watched a mediocre PlayStation presentation! I turned 30 years old! Puzz took me to a very fancy and really nice Italian place for my birthday, in case you were worried that I was only eating garbage here. LOL

We got a lot of books.

Maybe too many. Also a Miles Davis vinyl for myself & some Gunpla as an early birthday gift for Puzz. And also the cookbook was a gift from family. But I'm very excited to tuck into more of these, hopefully soon. Some were for me and some were for Puzz but knowing us we're going to go "hey, I liked this one, you check it out" or "hey, I didn't like this one, but maybe you will" for a lot of them. I'm gonna start with "Annihilation" and the game essays book. ("House of Leaves" is a second copy for us, because my copy was originally Puzz's and I wanted them to be able to read it too.) I don't have room in my bags for much more than what I came here with, so we're gonna ship some of the books to each other when we're done reading.

It's been a very nice month... I feel very thankful to have a life full of love like this. I don't think I have anything else to add to this post! Thanks for reading.

[lazylattedgleam]

Request made:

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Prelude to a New Tomorrow

Next page: xxxxerrorxxxx

TW: xxxxxxerrorxxxxxxxx

Index: xxxxxxerrorxxxxxx

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Hmm? Oh hello there, still making me write your story? Do you even ever want to try to regain back your narration or will you keep on being a puppet of your own mind? Well it’s none of my concern, as for always I’m just here to do my job assigned.

Exactly 5 months have passed by since you lost your story into the void of seemingly no return. Days and nights come and go by, time stood still for none. Yet you still think about it, about him, like he’s the oxygen that somehow keeps your brain running and functioning, call it gruelling, call it unhealthy, you can’t help it. Raya worries about you a lot, everytime you’re at work and beyond but she’s stopped trying to ask you or talk to you, except for the usual business talk.

Just a few weeks back you’d gone to Destiny Cafe, for a boba…glaring at the drink as you remember it was the same thing that you had when you and her met up…Her, the very person who appeared in your life like a ray of sunshine and just like a powerful gust of wind during a storm, blowing everything away, took away the one person who made you feel complete…But it was mean to be. They were meant to be. It’s what Fate had wanted.

You sat as you stared at the stubby glass bottle, stirring at the drink mindlessly with your straw. Did you have your meds that morning? Probably.

You hear voices and laughters, the pitch was high yet sweet…oh you knew that voice. “I’m telling you Tara, he is such a romantic! He blushes at everything I do! It’s just the sweetest!” “Ahh! Can’t believe the cold prodigy doctor of Akso could go all mushy gushy! You go girl!”…He laughed with her, expressed himself to her…you rarely ever got a smile. For you his soft expressions were a prize to be won and earned, for her they became flower petals falling from the trees during cherry blossom season…in abundance… “Uh huh! We’re going to the park this Sunday, will have snow-cones and more!”, that perked your ears…*sigh* You’re gonna do it aren’t you…?

Did he ever feel guilty? Should you go talk to her? You hated that thought with all your guts yet a part of you wanted it to happen…would she even recognise you?

You finally sip your boba, ironically you were the most expressive you’ve been in months, in the current situation.

Anyways enough with the sad flashback, currently you’re at the flower shop, working diligently, attending to customers, adding inputs and updates upon the cash register, like usual. Raya was at the Marigolds section showing a couple the best of the best, as they wanted some to decorate their newly bought apartment with, and for housewarming. Your eyes wandered to the couple, the guy was tall like him…and the woman was short like your length…they looked so happy…they looked like the version you’d yearned that you and Zayne would once reach…but alas that remained fiction. You hated it, envy and jealousy filled your heart, so you thought the best would be to go out for some fresh air.

You told your other co-worker to fill in for you, who nodded along, as you excused yourself out.

Everytime your eyes gaze at the streets, it was really pathetic how you saw him in every passing person on the streets, whether they were tall or short, light or dark or tan skinned, long, short or mid length hair and of any color, wearing monochromatic or colourful clothes, all you ever saw was him…him…and only him…

You return soon after as one of your co-workers calls out to you to handle a rather annoying customer, you’d work for long enough you knew how to deal with them, so you went.

…The next day came as usual, everything was the same old same old, you were growing tired of it, you hated Sundays now, the same Sundays you used to be eagerly waiting for. Sundays you had your break plus his shift gets over early on Sundays, you mind wanders again…maybe they’ll be on a date or lunch or dinner, or in bed, making love to each other…something which you and Zayne had never once done…heck you never even got to that point…your periods were soon to approach, your sexual desires too increased, adding on to your discomforts…They existed with Zayne too, your body would die for his hands all over, or even for a sensual touch, but you kept them under control, often times with artificial things, because your love for him transcended beyond any mortal form of lust…but now? You were annoyed and cranky, besides you don’t even want to touch anything…the recently bought bunch of Jasmines, laying on his side of the bed, as you stare at them, eyes brimming with tears…maybe you should just cry all your exhaustions out huh? You do that.

…Going out to the park was a bad bad bad idea, girl why are you self-sabotaging yourself! I know that you were hoping to see them together, to catch a glance of him and determine how elated he’s been with her!Maybe it was because you were inching close to your periods? Girl you’ve never done it, then why now! Ughhh! I swear if I wasn’t bound to writing I’d have—anyways, you sit at a bench, nearby the water fountain, (reminding you of a very specific song)…you look around subtly and…you catch a glimpse of them walking hand in hand, with snowcones in their free hands…you look at him, smiling, he looks so…happy…I’d say get a grip. But it’s none of my concern. I’m just here to do my job assigned.

They couldn’t have seen you, you were amongst the spectators that they had surrounding them and their stage of love…Go home…go home…go home…you sigh to yourself as you get up heading towards your apartment…What a fun evening spent huh?

…You crawl into your bed, wrapping yourself in a burrito in your blanket…crying…again…clutching onto the Jasmines close to your heart…

Your hopes of ever finding true love are flowing down the drain, yet still holding on…how delusional can you be, you think to yourself…

For how long will you keep on carrying your broken heart to yourself??? Why don’t you try to venture out more…your life isn’t over…talk to the people who matter, and when the right time comes you may find the right person…But it’s none of my concern. I’m just here to do my job assigned.

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(Credits: All images are from Pinterest)

[trippygalaxy]

His (Metal) Rose

A rewrite of an old headcanon! And like- my first x reader for LU in literal months if not a year-- HELLO! I AM BACK! :DDD

Summary: Four struggles with conveying his feelings verbally, so why not put his smithing skills to use?

Character: Four x Gn! Reader Warnings: No beta we die like Twi, some overthinking on Fours part? Words: 900+

Four hasn’t been the best with words in his life, stumbling through conversations and often struggling to convey his thoughts through words, which always lead to some tough conversations when it comes to personal relationships. Often his thoughts and feelings were questioned, some going as far as accusing him of actively hiding his emotions- which wasn’t true at all! Four felt a lot, he felt so much that it was so hard to single out one thought to begin verbalizing it, and it wasn’t like this was the Colours fault either– he's been like this ever since he could remember.

Four couldn’t count how many friendships -and potential courtships- he pushed away thanks to his lack of verbalization, so when he started to grow a connection with you, he was down right terrified. He was so scared of losing another person due to his own failings that he knew he had to do something. The hero could try to verbalize his thoughts, to sit you down and have a long and deep conversation but the thought of it made his skin crawl- he knows he would have to do it at some point but…he rather not now, especially when he's trying to not embarrass himself! But the longer he thought, the more he started to realize that if he can’t tell you how he felt…then maybe he could show you!

Yes, yes that is what he would do. He’ll make you something, something so full of every ounce of what he felt that he was sure you’d understand with just a simple glance!

Knowing he couldn’t act on this urge right away as the Chain was far from any nearby town, he decided on brainstorming. Taking parchment from Warriors journals and snatching the pencil that dangled from Legend’s utility belt -the hoarder cursed at him, something about mapping but Four didn’t really care in the moment- before putting his brain to work.

It didnt take him long to decide on a flower- A rose. He’s seen it time and time again, gifted petals and trimmed thorns, handed to a beloved in a show of care and understanding. Four scribbled dozens of different designs, each as elegant as the last but none of that mattered, not if he couldn’t bloom the fire forged flower with love melted into every burning vein. What was the use of a pretty rose if his love didnt keep the metal warm even on the coldest nights? If you couldnt feel the smooth petals and think of his thrumming heart for you then what was this all for? The smith spent quite a while planning the creation of the masterpiece which would be his rose- your rose- before he even THOUGHT about stepping into a forge. But, one day, with the final stroke of the graphite, the colour hero found himself satisfied.

And thankfully, it didnt take the Chain too long to finally arrive at the blessed town! Not even Time could have stopped him from running off as soon as they had booked into an inn, his energy and motivation higher than the clouds Hyila stood on. Now, to actually get access to a forge and materials…was a little harder than planned but Four wasn’t one to one for an answer when it came to fulfilling a task such as this!

It took him longer than he’d like to admit to get the hang of the new skill- and too many failed attempts that got smelt back down. Yet here he stood, rough leather gloves cradling an intricate metal rose, the petals curled like rolling waves on a calm tide with rippling edges. The rolling stem curled like a cat's tail, flowing as if blowing in the wind. Truely, a beautiful and brilliant piece yet something was still…missing. Sure, he poured every ounce of care into the vessel of his feelings and sure, he treated it as gently as he would you yet…a part of him -or many parts of him- felt like something wasn't there, wasn't representing the whole of him.

Twirling the rose in his hand gloves fingers, a pout heavy on his lips, as his eyes scanned the borrowed space, searching for something, anything to fill the missing piece.

Paint? No, it wouldn't adhere to the smooth metal. Patination? It would work, but he doubted this forge even had the equipment for such a thing. Frustration built behind the smith’s eyes. He was so close to finishing this yet he stayed slumped over this creaking workbench with a deepening pout.

Half tempted to ignore the scratching at the back of his mind that demanded perfection, Four sits up with a stretch only to stop mid way as a colourful hue glimmers under the workbench. Leaning back, the man almost jumps in joy as his eyes catch what seemed to be cut gems -likely artificial- shining up at him. It didnt take him long to find four coloured gems; red, green, blue and purple. Smiling ear to ear, the smith jumps up from his spot, grabbing all his materials and heading back to the anvil. It was time to put those jewelry classes gramps forced him through to use and to scratch that itch at the back of his head.

Finally, with sweat dripping down his brow, finally it was done.

Four admired the freshly polished, shining rose with a look of fondness. Pride swelled in his chest alongside the unimaginable adoration for you. A small thing it was, unable to even begin to tell of his love for you but even if it took thousands of bouquets to show you just that, Four was more than willing to be your smith.

[lightasthesun]

Happy Disability Pride fellow spoonies!

As always: mind the tags!!

Push through (until you break) by @guildofscribes

Oneshot | 1,6K | Obi-Wan, Anakin, Cody

Next to Anakin's ease and power within the Force, none of the clones realize just how far General Kenobi is pushing himself to keep up. It's war. And he'll do what he must. Until he can't.

Memories awash with colour by QuickSilverFox3

Chapters: 2 | 4,4K | Cody/Obi-Wan

There is a Spring Festival on Coruscant meant to remember when the city overtook everything and what they had all lost because of it. Obi-Wan and Cody never manage to see it, but they spend the time together regardless.

No words needed by jack_a_rose

Oneshot | 2,8K | Cody/Obi-Wan & the 212th Attack Battalion

“It really doesn’t bother me, my dear,” Obi-Wan lied through his teeth, struggling to sit upright on the bed in the medbay after his most recent injury. His arm was in a sling so he couldn’t sign, and Cody could see the frustration in his eyes with every instinctive move to lift his arm, “I have spent years not hearing, it is as much a part of me as my lightsaber is, it’s part of who I am. Yes, my implant allows me to hear and yes, sometimes I do miss the voices of my loved ones, but I am used to it.”

“But you shouldn’t have to be,” Cody signed as he spoke, letting out a sigh, “you chose to get the implant for a reason, to have the choice to hear. And that choice has been taken from you.” “You do not need to worry about me, dear,” Obi-Wan said, reaching out with his uninjured hand to place it on Cody’s knee.

Cody just shook his head and smiled sadly. “I always worry about you, cyare.”

a quiet tapestry by lux_arcana

Oneshot | 2,9K | Obi-Wan & Quinlan

The war had broken Obi-Wan, but he was alive.

Sometimes that was enough.

(Or: The impact of Obi-Wan's strained relationship with the Force after the end of the Clone Wars)

instead i took care of you by CallToMuster

Oneshot | 2K | Obi-Wan & Service Animal Boga & Ahsoka

When Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, he was on the ground and he couldn’t remember how he got there.

[Or: many decades after the successful ending of the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan is still struggling, in ways both old and new.]

heavy off a golden hue by catboydogma

Series | Cody/Obi-Wan (Rex & Qui-Gon)

“And there are some, like me,” Obi-Wan said, voice softening against his will, “who relapse. And relapse. And… and it never quite leaves. I’m afraid I’m rather susceptible to the kind of emotional distress that the flowers thrive in. There is so much love to be had in the galaxy, and I can’t help but… even when it hurts. Perhaps especially when it hurts. I let it get ahold and it’s chronic at this point. Even if I never loved again, I will always have… this.” He spread a hand over his own chest and already, he could feel the stuttering slip of petals and leaves threatening. He kept his breathing slow and shallow, and the threat passed—for now.

Heliotropism by wobblycompetencies

Oneshot | 15K | Poe/Luke (Rey & Wedge Antilles & Mace)

“Really,” he said, to underline the point, because Poe was looking a little doubtful. “I’m in no rush here. Whatever you want to do, or not do, is fine. I’m just...enjoying spending time with you.”

"I’m not in a rush, exactly, I just want – " Poe normally was able to state his mind with little angst or uncertainty; now, he looked faintly exasperated with himself. "I do want to find out what I still can do. Not all at once, though. And I don't know what it’ll look like, or – or how long it's gonna take for me to get there."

Luke reached for Poe's hand where it was drumming restlessly on the tabletop, and squeezed it reassuringly. "Find out together?"

Ni haa'taylir ner'st o'r gar (I see myself in you) by foreverchangingfandoms

Oneshot | 11K | Obi-Wan & Tholme (Qui-Gon, Quinlan, Bant, Vokara)

On a mission, Obi-Wan is seriously injured in a way that could change his life forever. Whilst healing, he finds help from his friend's Master and the one Jedi who understands how he feels.

look after you by piqu3d

Oneshot | 2.2K | Obi-Wan/Cody & Luke & Leia

He’s sitting in his chair, legs turned irreparably inwards leading to knobby knees covered by a loose blanket. The cannula in his nostrils is slightly crooked on its way to the tank attached to his chair. There are pale purple circles under his eyes, and wrinkles wear at his skin around his eyes and his nose. His hair, stringy with sweat, drapes against his pale forehead. His lopsided smile rests on chapped lips, and his hands are lightly trembling where they hover over his lap.

He’s the most beautiful person Cody’s ever seen.

if it's quite alright by piqu3d

Oneshot | 2.2K | Obi-Wan & Leia (minor codywan)

“Obi-Wan,” Cody’s voice filters from the cracks between Leia’s fingers, and Obi-Wan wants to sob. His heart keens at the phantom touches on his shoulders and around his waist as he listens to Cody’s steady, low voice. “Obi-Wan, it’s alright.”

A forced chuckle rips its way from behind his teeth. “Alright, is it?”

Cody’s response is a buzz over the wireless connection: “It’s going to be. You have Leia. Fulcrum and her charge are alive. Just breathe, Kenobi.”

Not Her by dieFabuliererin

Chapters: 23 | 76k | Ahsoka-centric | Padmé/Anakin (Obi-Wan & Ahsoka & Anakin & Cast)

A white-hot warning flashes through the Force, and Ahsoka jumps to the rooftop without hesitating. Whatever Obi-Wan's reason for not defending himself, she can't allow the sniper to kill him. She wouldn't be able to live with herself.

Incapacitation by whitchry9

Oneshot | 3K | Obi-Wan & Stim (medic oc) & Cody

Neuromuscular incapacitation: the disruption of nerve and muscle function by a targeted electrical stimulus.

Or, Obi Wan gets shocked repeatedly, and the aftereffects are... many.

Speak No Word (Hear No Sound) by TemporaryUniverse

Oneshot | 6K | Obi-Wan & Ahsoka and Anakin and Boga

Ahsoka wasn't sure what she was getting into when she was assigned to Master Kenobi and sent to the front lines. She didn't even know he was deaf.

Being captured together gives them the chance to get to know each other a little more. For better or worse.

dancer in the dark by catboydogma

Chapters: 3 | 10K | Cody/Obi-Wan & Dooku & Anakin

“Fuck,” Obi-Wan said. “Anakin, what’s Bly’s last name?” Anakin blue-screened for a moment. “Uh…”

“Fuck,” Obi-Wan said again, sliding ungracefully off the boards with a thump and putting his back to the door. “Is that—tell me that’s not Bly’s father, Anakin.” Good God, he’d never live this down.

“No,” Anakin said after a moment squinting first at the door, then Obi-Wan. A tangled mess of sound was echoing through the room as the newcomers greeted Bly and vice versa, all deep voices with light accenting—Māori, Obi-Wan remembered, slightly giddy. It was a Māori accent, because—“That’s his brother,” Anakin told Obi-Wan. “Cody—”

“Cody Fett,” Obi-Wan said, clutching his cup a little tighter and steadfastly refusing to look over his shoulder. “He’s brothers with Cody Fett, former Olympic gold medalist and—oh, God.“

[judejazza]

ʚ・ AS TIME PASSES ⟢ LIAM EVANS

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ Masterlist | Request | Tip

repost of a fic off my old account

After a year at Liam’s side you still found yourself amazed whenever you woke up and found him staring at you.

Always his eyes would be full of tenderness, always his lips would turn up into the most beautiful smile, and always he’d lean over and place a gentle, sweet kiss on your lips. His voice, heavy with night time despite lack of sleep, would always greet you with a quiet, low good morning — and then you’d spend the next half an hour tucked against his chest, enjoying a moment of peace in an otherwise chaotic lifestyle.

You doubted life in Crown was something anyone could ever get used to. From Victor’s enthusiastic shows of affection for everyone in Crown, to the missions covered in blood under the cover of moonlight. No day was ever the same, and yet despite it all, despite the companion of death that accompanied all members of Crown, you’d never felt more alive.

You were positive Liam had something to do with it.

He took every chance he could to make your heart beat, every chance to dote on you, pamper you; to hold your hand, to place kisses on your cheeks, neck, shoulders— he’d bring you flowers almost every day, happily share with you details of the new plays he was working on when you couldn’t accompany him to the theatre.

Every day was new, and every day you were happy.

This morning, however, things were a little different.

When you awoke he was not in his usual spot at your side. For a brief moment, alarm settled into your heart and you find yourself sitting bolt up right, pulling back your bed covers and placing your feet onto the cold floor, intent to look for him. Then you catch sight of the outfit hung up over the mirror, the one you’d prepared the day before with him so you could match with him on your date today to a festival in the city.

Your heart thunders at the memory and your cheeks flush. Is it too early to get dressed? May Day festivals often start early, and Liam never sleeps likely he’s getting ready too and- There’s a knock at the door, it’s light as though intending not to disturb you, and the moment it clicks open you turn to face him.

Liam in the rising sun’s light is a sight you don’t suppose you could ever get tired of. He almost glows, you think, as he crosses the room to you in two long, easy strides, in his hands a flower crown of the softest pink petals mixed with vibrant roses the same colour of his eyes. No words pass between you as he smiles down at you, and you lift yourself onto your tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

The passing of time is strange, you think, as you step back from him. He’s already dressed for the day, just as you thought, and you make no attempt to hide your excitement as you shed your nightclothes in front of your partner to change into the planned outfit. A year ago you would have hesitated, blushing at the idea — but Liam being at your side has become so normal and so natural, and so expected, that doing anything without him there is what makes you hesitate now.

A year has gone by, it’s like no time at all, and yet it seems to be your entire life all in one go.

The very idea that at some point before now, Liam hadn’t been a part of your every day is so bizarre and so strange to you that the thoughts seem to turn to a bitter ash before they can manifest properly. It’s unfathomable to even think of.

By the time the pair of you descend for breakfast, the dining room is already a hive of energy and chaos. A dove perched on top of Elbert’s head while he sits there, staring up almost cross eyed at it, unmoving as though afraid to startle it. A few chairs are overturned, Victor looking a little sheepish while Will sips his morning tea, the hint of an amused smile at the corners of his lips just above the teacup. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds to piece together the scene and you laugh with Liam; the scene is so practiced in it’s chaos that none of it is out of the ordinary anymore.

“Ah, I miss the days when you would scream at the slightest thing.”

“Alfons!”

The moment he appears behind you, his glove hand perched on your shoulder, Liam interposes himself between the pair of you and keeps you close.

“Alas, I can’t even tease you anymore with such a loyal cat around.”

“You’re just getting home,” Liam murmurs, leaning away from him. “And covered in more perfume than usual.”

“Oh?” Alfons pauses and sniffs himself before shrugging. “If you’re a fan, I could procure it for-”

“That’s fine,” you interrupt him, positive where the sentence was going to go by the way his eyes lingered on you. “I… already have a scent I like.”

Liam throws you a confused look. “Did you get a new perfume?” he frowns. “I hadn’t noticed, I’m so-”

“No, Liam!” You grip the front of his shirt quickly to soothe his panic before it rises too far and brings that dark shadow over his eyes. “I… I like smelling like you.”

You say the words quietly, hoping they’d reach only Liam’s ears, but by Alfons’ delighted laughter and Will’s gentle chuckle (and Victor’s slightly dramatic squeal) you’re positive they’ve all heard you. Liam’s smile drowns out the other sounds, however, as he crushes you to his chest; his vanilla scent surrounding you mixed with the soft flutter of petals from the flower crown he’d adorned your head with.

You bring a hand up to his neck, smiling when you feel how much his hair has grown since you first met him. It’s probably long enough for you to tie it up for him now, and as you gently play with the soft strands, the idea of how he’d look in different casual hairstyles comes to your mind. It’s been a while since you’ve spent an evening bathing together and drying his hair, perhaps, later-

Liam’s arms tighten around you and his lips place a soft kiss to the tip of your nose as you look up at him. How could only a year have passed when your whole life is right here in front of you? Time without him is insignificant, the pulsing of blood beneath a bruise both painful and obvious all at once; slow in the speed and yet spreading darker and darker across you until the only thing that can soothe the thickness seeping into your heart is him.

taglist @nightghoul381 @eddietheikemen to be added simply message or comment!

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (31) Pride

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 31)

Summary: We get glimpses of Joanna Shirley's first year and an emotional trip to the countryside ensures that the circuit is closed.

Thirty-One Years Old

Some months after Joanna’s first birthday, we’re going to Sussex to spend a week with my parents. She has Timothy’s dark hair and my curls. Her eyes are violet-blue and radiant, her social skills are impeccable. Our daughter loves people. When we’re out in the park, at the shops, on the tube or the bus, she babbles to anyone who’s willing to listen. Most people are. During the Pride parade, that became quite evident. 

Molly had bought her a multi-coloured dress. In each hand she had a flag. The traditional rainbow flag in her right, and the bisexual one in her left. Every so often, people in the parade approached her to say hello, and she preened and had the time of her life. Timothy filmed the whole charade to show to our families later.

When she’s used up her charm…let’s just say; her bad temper is as untamed as her good mood…

“Just like her mother,” Dad often points out when I complain.

There’s no sympathy to get from Papa either.

“A tornado is calm compared to your tantrums as a child and teenager, Bee.”

“Ha, bloody ha,” I retort, but I know it’s true.

Having a strong will and principles can be good things, I guess.

***

Joanna has never seen Papa’s garden and beehives. The last time we visited, it poured down all weekend, so we stayed inside.

She has yet to have taken her first steps, but there have been other firsts. 

First trip inside the city: New Scotland Yard with uncle Greg so he could show her off to all his previous colleagues (he retired two years ago.)

First solid food: corn porridge (she detested oatmeal.)

First tooth: four months (she bit me when I breast fed her.)

First real trip: Sussex to Grandad and Lock. (She refuses to call Papa anything else.)

First BIG toy: an antique rocking horse from the granduncles. (Guess which one searched worldwide for the correct one, a replica from his and Papa’s childhood.)

***

The second Joanna sees her grandparents, she starts to wriggle in my arms, can’t get to them fast enough.

“Easy, my little octopus,” I mutter and hand her to Dad with a relieved sigh.

“Hey there, princess Shirley,” Dad coos and kisses her cheek.

“Da!” she exclaims and pats his shoulder, before turning eagerly to Papa, stretching out her arms.

“Hello, little Joan,” Papa rumbles, which make her giggle and shout: “Lock!”

“You’ve got to stop calling her that,” Dad protests half-heartedly.

“Nonsense,” Papa says mock serious. “Not until you stop calling her princess Shirley.”

Joanna points at herself when she hears Dad’s name for her.

“Yes, that’s you,” Papa agrees proudly. “My clever girl.”

***

After lunch and Joanna’s nap, Dad and Papa walk around the garden with her, safely in Dad’s arms to show her the different flowers, letting her smell and touch. Her dazzling smile, and the besotted looks on my fathers’ faces are caught on camera. I decide to get it enlarged and framed as a Christmas present.

Papa points out the beehives, but they stay at a distance lest Joanna’s waving arms disturb the bees. I stifle a sob when she turns and points a finger at me when Papa says the word “bee”.

“Yes, darling. That’s Mummy too,” I say in a choked voice.

“Well done, princess,” Dad praises.

“Cess,” Joanna manages and presses her palm against her chest.

***

A week later, as a farewell, Papa takes Joanna for another stroll in the garden, which she seemingly can’t get enough of. She took her first steps there two days ago, eager to get her hands on a bee that was resting on a flower petal. When the insect flew away, she turned questioningly at Papa, who had followed in her steps ready to catch her if she lost her balance.

After they’ve finished the circuit, Joanna starts to wail, but Papa’s excited voice and gesticulating hand, gets her attention.

“Let me tell you what I once told your mother when she and Granddad moved to Baker Street,” he starts, and goes through the different stages of human decay, the art of flagging down a taxi in London, and pissing off the likes of Philip Anderson.

Before he’s finished, Joanna has fallen asleep in his arms.

Also available on AO3

You can find the fic that inspired this one here

Here we are. At the end of an amazing month of prompts which have produced ficlets, limericks, heartbreakingly beautiful writing, hilarious new AUs and so much more. Tears have been shed, laughter has been shared, the fandom has shown endless support and love to everyone involved.

Thank you to the wonderful @calaisreno for instigating this marvellous event, and to everyone who has participated, commented, reblogged and cheered along the way.

(P.S There'll be no Rosie at the age of 106 as you requested early in the month @totallysilvergirl because that would ensure the demise of our OTP, and we both know that I don't do that...)

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @helloliriels

More tags in the replies

[lady-bess]

Hi Mrs Daniels!

I'm back with my Ask games again!

This time we have a spring based prompts theme. You get a spring prompt and a character and I'd like to know your head canon/immediate thoughts on the combination.

Character: Jack Daniels (of course)

Prompt: petals

With love,

El

Petals

Jack Daniels x F!OC General/Teen+ Content W/C: 913 Notable tags: Spring, Spring Prompt, Retired Jack, Domestic Jack, Fluff.

A/N: Finally getting round to this ask! Thank you my dear El for sending this in - I now sufficiently have an image of retired Jack swirling round my head 🫠🫠 (Is anyone surprised?)

Enjoy!

LadyBess xox

A03 Link | Tumblr Masterlist

Life was slower for Jack now, but he couldn’t be more thankful for it. For too long he’d lived his life swept away in the hustle and bustle of working for Statesman. But now, he took every day one hour at a time, and he enjoyed every moment.

Retirement was treating him well. After nearly thirty years serving with Statesman, he’d done his time, and decided to hang up his lasso for good. No more did he want to be running around, putting his life at risk, chasing down some of the world’s most nefarious criminals - not after he met her, either.

She’d come into his life at a time he’d least expected it, but now five years on he couldn’t imagine his life being any different. It was almost hard to imagine that there had been a time without her. They’d met by sheer chance one afternoon in May when his flight to the New York office got delayed, and they’d just been at the right place at the right time. With a few hours to kill, they started chatting just to pass the time, but when it came to boarding the plane Jack knew he wanted to make her all his.

Six months later, he did.

They’d lived together ever since, out in the depths of the Kentucky countryside. Jack had always wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and have a home like what he had now - simple, functional, and picturesque. Situated on a few acres of land, it wasn’t like the old ranch he’d grown up on, but it was close enough. He had a few horses, and a few hens; that more than sufficed.

He had a simple life now, and took enjoyment in the small pleasures. Today was no exception. The sky had been clear this morning when he rose, a crispness to the air and a fine dew on the grass. Spring was well and truly here, and the garden they both meticulously maintained reflected this. Flowers of every colour started to bloom, a small rainbow in the beds littering the land.

Jack smiled to himself, fully content, as he relaxed back into the wooden swing bench which he’d installed under an oak tree just behind the main house. It had become his favourite place to be, especially on early mornings like these. A gentle breeze swayed past him, carrying a few loose petals across the green grass, and he watched as they danced away into the distance.

And that’s when he saw her.

Jack always woke up early - it was a habit he’d got into from his time with Statesman. He always slept light, his body finding it difficult even in retirement to not have to worry about being constantly alert. As such, once he woke up in the mornings, he found it hard to drift back off to sleep. Usually he’d just get up, and be by himself for a couple of hours. But just occasionally, she’d be up too.

Today was one of those mornings.

He smiled at her from across the garden, watching her come towards him with two mugs of tea in her hands. She was still dressed in last night’s pyjamas, a navy blue knee-length nightdress, with slippers to match, but she’d also thrown on one of Jack’s flannel shirts over the top. The gentle wind whipped at the hem of her nightdress, and she giggled as the silk dappled across her thighs. Jack grinned at her as she got closer, refraining himself from making an inappropriate joke.

“Morning, sugar,” he drawled, his voice still thick with sleep. She smiled down at him, handing him one of the piping hot mugs, then settled down next to him on the seat.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she said. Sunshine had been her nickname for Jack, the irony coming from the fact he was usually the complete opposite to a ray of sunlight. At least, he was. Retirement had changed that. But still, the nickname had stuck.

Jack took the mug from her, chuckling to himself, but then thanking her. He took a sip, sighing in contentment as the drink warmed him from the inside. It might be spring time now, but this early in the morning it was still a little on the colder side.

“What’s got you up so early, my love?” he asked. He set the drink down on his knee, stabilising it with one hand on the handle, and then he slipped his other arm across her shoulders. She smiled, leaning into his hold.

“Needed the bathroom, but noticed you’d already got up. Saw you out here and thought I’d keep you company for a little while,” she said. Jack smiled, turning his head to plant a kiss in her hair.

“You’re too sweet, you know that right?” he said, and she giggled.

“So is that why you call me sugar?” she asked, making Jack laugh.

“Maybe. Got a problem with that?” he teased. She turned her head to look at him, smiling warmly as the breeze began to mess up her hair, half in a messy bun from overnight.

“Never, Jack. I love you,” she said, leaning up to kiss Jack softly. He smiled against her lips, applying pressure to hers in return, drinking in the sensation. His body went warm throughout, the contentment and happiness of being with her as clear to him as the sky above. And in that moment, he realised.

He had never been happier.

Tumblr Masterlist | A03 Profile

[kataravimes-of-the-shire]

This has been tickling around in my brain for months.

Room to Grow

The Archeron sisters discuss what they miss about being human.

Kinda ✨angst✨, kinda fluff

Word Count: 1226

“Do you know what I miss?” Feyre sighed wistfully.

She sat with her sisters under the glimmering glass dome of the newly erected Velaris Orangerie. They were seated around a small mosaic-covered table, a steaming pot of tea and a tiered display of cakes before them. The late morning sun gave the space a soft glow, turning all of their hair into varying shades of burnished bronze.

Nesta cocked her head eyes narrowing slightly, she could always see through Feyre’s attempts at feigning innocence, “What do you miss?”

“Stretch marks,” Feyre sighed.

Feyre looked between her sisters. Nesta’s eyebrows had shot up towards her hairline. Elain’s cup of tea had paused midway to her mouth, her petal-coloured lips parted in mild shock. This was not a conversation one had in polite society. Feyre began to scramble for a change of topic. This was still new ground. This peace with her sisters. Openness.

Feyre was about to remark upon the craftsmanship of the dome that soared away above them, or on the already spectacular height of the plants from Summer Court whose uppermost leaves just brushed the underside of the glass.

When Elain let out a small laugh and then tensed, as if bracing herself.

“They were like stripes, I used to hate them on my thighs” - she paused, Feyre met her sister’s warm brown eyes and gave her a nod of encouragement - “I loved that the fashions kept my legs covered. I used to be terrified someone would see them and realise I wasn’t all that beautiful after all.”

“I was so pleased when I finally got some, it was proof I was growing. Proof that I was healing. Or at least what I thought healing was when I was with him,” Feyre fought the temptation to curve her shoulders in towards her body. She reached for another cake, her third or was it fourth? She rarely kept stock of how much food she ate anymore. Only if she felt stressed would the habit of tracking every morsel and crumb come creeping back into her life. Rhysand had only reigned in Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony when he discovered her stash of bread, magicked to stay fresh, stashed at the back of their shared closet.

Nesta cleared her throat, bringing Feyre out of her memories before she spoke softly, “I had them on the curve of my breasts; they shone silver in the candlelight. They were beautiful. I always thought yours were too,” she reached out across the table to squeeze Elain’s hand. “Your looks have never been what made you truly beautiful, blossom.”

Elain’s eyes welled with tears, Feyre couldn’t help but beam as she watched her sisters share this moment. Couldn’t help but beam as Nesta reached out and took Feyre’s hand as well, and gave it a light squeeze.

“But do you know what I really miss” - Nesta seemed to shake herself out of the reverent moment she had created - “The lines I had right here,” she pointed to the smooth and flawless patch of skin between her brows.

“Frown lines you mean!” Feyre laughed, sticking her tongue out at her eldest sister. Earning her a frown unmarred by any wrinkles or creases.

“Concern lines, for all the trouble you were always getting into,” Nesta made a playful jab for Feyre’s ribs. Elain hid a snort of laughter behind her hand as she watched their antics.

Feyre delighted in her sisters’ laughter. After a moment they settled back into sipping at their tea and scattering more crumbs down the front of their outfits.

“I had a few grey hairs,” Elain added.

“I did too,” Nesta paused and looked at Feyre, her eyes narrowing in mock anger. “Don’t you dare comment on our age difference.”

“Not many,” Elain continued managing to effortlessly direct the conversation back where she wanted it before Feyre and Nesta descended into chaos once more. “But I think I was going to go grey the same way Mother had started to, before…”

Feyre had tried, and failed many times, to remember what their Mother looked like. But all she had was a sense of severity, of the length of a skirt, the smell of sickness and sometimes of lavender.

“Are either of you missing any moles?” Feyre could admit to herself that this was a last-ditch attempt to save them all from the melancholy they had unwittingly meandered into. “I used to know mine like the constellations of the night skies. I swear some are missing.”

“Oh, and scars!” Elain jolted back from wherever she had gone behind vacant eyes.

“Yes! Moles and scars. Vanished!” Nesta exclaimed. “I had little white specks across my neck and wrists from a pox I caught as a child before either of you were born, I think. Or perhaps Elain was just a babe. I would scratch them whenever Mother or the governess turned their back.”

“I had scars on my hands from learning to use a bow, from setting traps and climbing trees,” Feyre held up her hands and looked at them as if they were completely foreign objects to her. They had been at first. Unknowable.

“I had a sunburst white scar just below my knee,” Elain reached a hand below the table as if feeling for that old wound. “I can’t have been more than seven, out in the garden playing when I heard Father returning from a trip of some sort. I sprinted up the path so fast, skirts flying. You know I’ve always been clumsy, I tripped over my own feet and came down on a sharp stone lining the path.”

“Oh yes! I remember. You got straight back up and kept running. You were so desperate to see Father, he asked why you had ripped your skirts and you only burst into tears once you hiked them up and saw the blood!” Nesta’s mouth quirked up at one side as she recalled the memory.

Feyre knew that Rhys would comment on her glow as soon as she returned to the townhouse. As soon as they were alone she would gush to him about how whole it had made her feel to talk to her sisters, to hear Nesta mention their Father and not stumble over the words.

“I asked Rhys once if he had stretch marks,” Feyre looked out across the undulating meadow of the park, the sun was beginning to burn off the morning dew and the mist twirled like dancers in a ballroom. “He didn’t even know what they were.”

Nesta huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes conspiratorially, “Cassian couldn’t understand how we got scars for such minor wounds.”

Elain lack of comment about a conversation with her mate felt conspicuous. She stared down into her tea without replying to her sisters’ remarks. Feyre felt that maybe the morning had been soured once again when suddenly Elain whispered - as if to the morning sun, directed at no one in particular:

“I know they think all of these things mark out human frailty. But oh, how wonderful to have a map on your skin of everything you’ve lived through. Of everything you’ve survived.”

“Our old housekeeper once told me,” Nesta let out a wry laugh as she spoke. “Be grateful for every wrinkle, grey hair and mole. Growing old is a privilege, that not everyone gets.”

[scvntillas]

a   bubbly   ,   caring   water   dragon   figuring   out   how   to   live   on   her   own   .  now   works   as   the   director   at   portum   performing   arts   center   .   she   is  eight   hundred   and   twenty   six   years   old   and   has   lived   in   portum   for  twenty   years   .   adored   and   penned   by   emma

STATISTICS

i. the essentials.

name: kaya jones. nicknames: kay. gender: cisfemale. pronouns: she / her. species: dragon. sexual orientation: undefined. romantic orientation: undefined. spoken languages: english, greek, italian, french, old swedish, mongolian + several other extinct languages. age: twenty nine ( physical age ) + eight hundred and twenty six ( true age ). birthday: undocumented. employment: director at portum performing arts center. financial status: upper class.

ii. appearance.

hair colour: dark brown. hair style: large and curly. eye colour: dark brown. important physical features: plush lips, freckles. height: 5'8. weight: 50 kg. piercings: earrings in both ears, tongue piercing. tattoos: a lot all over her body.

iii. fun facts.

one. her hoard of choice are flowers. she's been collecting them for years and is in the process of figuring out the best way of preserving them. two. will spend most of her free time outside , preferably in her garden. three. loves to sing , but is sadly not very good at it.

iv. likes & dislikes.

likes: flowers , spring , dancing in the rain. dislikes: winter , loneliness.

v. additional.

hobbies: collecting and preserving flowers. drinking / smoking / drug usage: yes / yes / sometimes. soft spot: ephraim cain. fears: her love not remembering her. comforts: long , warm baths.

STORY

this story contains triggers such as grief and depression.

i spent my whole life here

for most of kaya's life , she had been alone. she doesn't remember her parents , thinks they probably loved her , but it's been centuries now. there's a small inkling of a memory of her flying next to them , newly hatched and eager to learn. she's not sure if it's something that actually happened or if it was just wishful thinking. her first years were spent trailing the shores of the island where she was born. there she learned every path and every trail , finding an interest in the beauty around her. the flowers spoke to her , and she would spend those years finding every plant and petal and cherish them like it was made out of gold.

i had no friends but the sky and sun

one day , she realised she'd found all the plants her island could offer and , for the first time , she left. that , in turn , brought new experiences. where time had stood still on the island the world had kept turning. she found that she liked it. kaya traveled from kingdom to kingdom , never staying in one place for too long. she learned to blend in , changing her name , her clothes , and her voice to match whatever world she stepped into. some nights , she sat in taverns , listening to sailors tell stories of monsters lurking beneath the sea — dragons among them , though they did not know one sat among them. and when she grew weary of one life , she left it behind , moving on to the next. she was still searching for something , something she hadn't found yet.

you're unlike anyone i've ever known

until him. from the moment they met , something in kaya shifted. in all her travels , all her lifetimes , it was as if she'd been waiting for him. he was an angel , a creature of light and divinity , with wings spun from silver and a voice that carried the echoes of forgotten songs. they should never have crossed paths — one bound to the skies , the other to the realms beyond. but fate is a mischievous thing. and for the first time kaya felt like she belonged to someone. he spoke of the heavens , of the beauty of the cosmos , and she listened , captivated by a world she had never known. in turn , she showed him the earth as he had never seen it , taking him to the highest peaks and the deepest valleys, where even the stars could not reach. but love between sky and earth is not meant to last.

i'm not sorry for loving you

one day , he was just gone. no trace of his presence remained — no scent on the wind , no whisper in the sky. it was as if he had never existed at all. the tides no longer felt steady beneath kaya, and the island , once her endless sanctuary , became an abyss of sorrow. she searched the heavens , calling his name with a voice that shook the mountains. she scoured the earth , leaving no stone unturned , no realm unexplored. but the angel was gone , lost to a place she could not reach. kingdoms crumbled into dust, civilisations rose and fell, and still, she remained. the world changed, but her longing did not. kaya still remembered the heart wrenching pain that tore through her chest when he disappeared. centuries passed, but kaya did not stop searching.

i'm stuck in the moments i swore that we had

still , life moved on. she kept going like she had before , and even though it didn't feel like it had before. the one thing that kept her going was her hoard of flowers , growing with every city she lived in. whenever a flower died she felt it like a stab in her chest , so she began experimenting with different ways of preserving them. her library of knowledge grew and so did her collection. she arrived in a town , one she had only heard of in rumours. welcoming to people like her , people that needed something. kaya didn't know why she had found portum , but the safety that wrapped around her , the comfort , made her want to stay. she put down roots , she made friends. she tried to ignore the longing in her heart. to get her mind to move forward she helped found an arts center , to create something beautiful with the pain she had felt for so long. for someone that had spent most of their life roaming , the relaxing routine of having something to do felt comforting.

i wish you would chase me, or try to embrace me

one day he just appeared. with a heart that hadn't felt alive since he left she approached , running toward him with a smile as she called out his name, for once not tinged with the sadness and desperation that had laced it for so long. ephraim ! he turned to face her , and kaya's heart stopped all over again. she searched his face , desperate for some flicker of the past , some hint of the love they had shared. but there was nothing — no memory , no warmth , no pain. to him , she was just another stranger in a city of passing souls.

why in the world won't you love me too ?

the past five years have been some of the hardest in kaya's life. harder than spending eternities searching for someone that couldn't be found. harder than forcing her body to keep moving even as it just wanted to lie down and stop. but she had not. instead , she remained in portum, lingering in the city that sat between realms, watching over the angel who no longer knew her. she did not know if the past would ever return to him. if the love they had shared could be remembered , or if they were fated to begin again from nothing. but she had spent centuries searching for him and would like to stay in his life. even if it might not end the way she wanted to , she would be satisfied if they were friends. at least , that's what she kept telling herself. she kept herself busy. she made new friends , put on more shows at work. it's getting easier to live day to day and where it looked dark she can see a small silver lining.

[thethirdromana]

Some thoughts on The Giggle:

Wild Blue Yonder was exactly the kind of Doctor Who episode that I reliably love. The Giggle, on the other hand, was a bit of a grab-bag of all the RTD tropes that I don't really get on with. So it was a bit of a surprise that I still enjoyed it hugely.

(For example, the threat that exists in every single one of a piece of technology simultaneously. How many times have we done that one now?)

It felt like enough plot for three episodes. There were bits I would have liked to have spent more time with; I felt like the episode was at its best when it slowed down and gave us a character moment, e.g. when Kate turns off her Zeedex.

Lovely to see Mel again.

Also lovely to how Donna solves the mystery. "I spent six months teaching my daughter how to play the recorder till she said 'This is not who I am'. And that was the start of a whole other conversation, believe you me" - perfect.

The final trigger for disaster is Starlink, the Prime Minister is Boris Johnson and we are assured that Donna will have a nice house and a good salary when all this is over. Yes, that's RTD on classic form.

The whole sequence with the bullets turning into petals - glorious.

It's almost a dick move to have the new guy immediately have to share a screen with his beloved predecessor but wow did Ncuti Gatwa pull it off. He IS the Doctor. Charisma for days.

Thighs for days too. I saw what you did there, RTD.

Could have done without "do you come in a range of colours?" though.

Fourteen lives happily ever after as Donna's QPP <3 <3 <3 I don't even normally like that kind of storyline but it just works.

And I notice that RTD left a lot of space for Fourteen to appear in the Extended Universe and indeed for David Tennant to keep reappearing as the Doctor at reasonable intervals for the rest of his life. Which I assume he will.

The transition from the calm of Donna's garden to the sheer excitement of the Fifteenth's Doctor's TARDIS was exhilarating.

I can't wait until Christmas.

[ronaldanthony4]

I recently created another digital artwork; this time, it’s a fan art. Fan art has always been a way for me to show my appreciation for the stories and characters that have left a mark on me, and this one is no exception. The piece pays homage to one of my favourite animated shows from Disney, Sofia The First. There's something so enchanting about the little princess of Enchancia, and it made me feel compelled to capture her in my own style. Every detail of this fan art is designed with admiration for the show’s beautiful animation and storytelling.

The star of this piece is, of course, Sofia herself. As the protagonist of Sofia The First, she's a character who has always resonated with me due to her kind heart and relatable journey from commoner to princess. In my artwork, I've depicted her in her signature princess outfit, a lilac gown that perfectly represents her royal yet approachable personality. I spent hours perfecting the details of her dress. The lilac bodice, trimmed with two elegant lines of pearls down the front and along the neckline, gives her a graceful, regal air. Her skirt hemmed with lilac petals and pearl studs, flares out majestically, but what truly makes it stand out are the lace drops shaped like four-leaf clovers—each one is painstakingly drawn to reflect Sofia's charm.

The dress is a spectacle of craftsmanship in both the animation and my recreation. The petals of her skirt feature a nimbus-like design, creating an otherworldly feel. The soft pastel colours further amplify this effect. Beneath the flowing petals, a pale yellowish petticoat peeks out, hemmed in a lilac band to match the rest of the gown. I wanted the colours to feel light and airy, much like Sofia's character. Her attire in my artwork wouldn’t be complete without her royal tiara—a swirly creation inset with pink sapphires, white pearls, and a turquoise diamond. This headpiece symbolizes her royal status while also capturing her playful nature. I paid special attention to the reflection of light on the gemstones to make them appear as real as possible, giving them a shimmer that makes the entire ensemble pop.

Of course, no depiction of Sofia would be complete without her iconic Amulet of Avalor. This piece of jewellery is one of the most important items in the show, as it carries magical powers and is central to many of the stories. For my artwork, I wanted the Amulet to take centre stage as much as the princess herself. It’s a large fire opal drop cabochon, a brilliant gem that catches the eye immediately. The pendant is mounted on a swirly silver backing, topped with three sapphires that I carefully shaded to look rich and deep. It hangs from a silver necklace, wrapped in delicate amethyst beads, creating a beautiful contrast to the warmth of the fire opal. In a way, the Amulet of Avalor represents the heart of Sofia, always full of magic, adventure, and compassion.

Drawing Sofia’s face was a particular joy. Her expressive blue eyes are one of her most memorable features in the show, and I tried to recreate that same sparkle in my artwork. The way her eyes reflect light is key to portraying her innocent and curious nature. Her eyes seem to tell the story of a girl who is always learning, always discovering new things about herself and the world around her. Her smile is soft but bright, embodying the warmth and kindness that has made her so beloved by fans of all ages. I drew her brown hair in gentle curls that framed her face, adding a touch of softness and making her appear both elegant and approachable.'

Sofia’s character arc is one of my favourite aspects of the show, and I wanted to reflect some of her personality in this artwork. In the story, Sofia starts as a regular girl living a humble life with her mother, Miranda. Everything changes when her mother marries King Roland II, making Sofia a princess overnight. Adjusting to this new life isn’t easy for her, and that’s part of what makes her so relatable. She has to learn how to behave as a princess, navigate royal life, and understand her new family dynamics, particularly with her new stepsiblings, Amber and James.

Amber, in particular, is a character who often clashes with Sofia. As a princess by birth, Amber is sometimes jealous of Sofia, especially because of how quickly Sofia wins the affection of those around her. Despite Amber’s occasional jealousy, Sofia always tries to get along with her, showing the same patience and kindness that make her such a wonderful role model. Sofia’s compassionate heart helps her build strong friendships, not just with her stepsiblings but with other characters like Clover, her pet rabbit, and Lucinda, a young witch.

I also find Sofia’s friendships with magical creatures particularly fascinating. For instance, Sofia forms a bond with a mermaid named Oona, showing that Sofia’s kindness transcends even species. Drawing inspiration from these friendships, I tried to give Sofia’s facial expression a sense of warmth and openness, reflecting her ability to connect with others, no matter who they are or where they come from. This trait of hers—of always being willing to make new friends and help others—is one of the reasons why I love her character so much.

But Sofia isn’t without her struggles. She faces challenges just like any other young person, particularly when it comes to fitting into the royal world. She’s often clumsy and unsure of herself at first, which only makes her more endearing. I wanted to capture this side of her as well—the part of Sofia that doesn’t always get things right the first time but keeps trying until she does. Her journey as a student at the Royal Preparatory Academy is filled with ups and downs, and the guidance she receives from Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather helps her grow. These three headmistresses, who are also good friends of Princess Aurora, play a crucial role in shaping Sofia into the princess she is destined to become.

Sofia’s learning process is something that I think many people can relate to, including myself. There are times when we all feel like we’re out of place like we don’t belong. Sofia’s story reminds us that it’s okay to feel that way sometimes and that what matters most is how we approach those challenges. Her courage and resilience are traits I admire, and I hope that some of them shine through in my artwork. As Sofia navigates her way through the challenges of becoming a princess, she learns valuable lessons about friendship, kindness, and perseverance. The influence of the headmistresses and Princess Aurora serves as a reminder that we all have the power to shape our destinies.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of Sofia’s character is her free-spirited nature. Despite her new royal status, she doesn’t let it change who she is at heart. I especially love the scenes in the show where Sofia does something as playful as sliding down the staircase rails—something that completely baffles her stepsister, Amber. It’s moments like these that remind us that Sofia, for all her royal duties, is still a child who loves to have fun. Capturing this youthful energy was essential in my artwork. Her pose is graceful yet playful as if she’s just finished twirling in her dress and is about to burst into a giggle.

Sofia’s adorableness is another key aspect of her character. In the episode “The Secret Library: The Tale of the Noble Knight,” new acquaintances shower her with affection because they can’t resist her charm. I wanted to capture that same adorableness in my artwork, making her look sweet and lovable, the kind of character who instantly makes you want to be her friend. Sofia’s ability to connect with both humans and magical creatures alike is a testament to her universal appeal, and I think that’s why she has remained such a beloved character throughout the years.

In conclusion, creating this fan art of Sofia was not just an artistic challenge but also a way for me to reconnect with a character I’ve admired for a long time. Every detail, from the pearls on her dress to the fire opal in her Amulet, was crafted with love and appreciation for the show. Sofia The First may be a children’s show, but its messages of kindness, perseverance, and friendship resonate with people of all ages, including myself. Through this artwork, I wanted to capture not just Sofia’s appearance but also her essence—her heart, her charm, and her unwavering kindness. This piece is my tribute to a character who, though fictional, has had a very real impact on me and countless others.

[ahordeofwasps]

Find the Word Tag

I've been tagged by the awesome @deanwax! Thanks for the tag! My words are dress, red, book, even, and odd. I'll be sharing excerpts from To Not Falling Off Cliffs!

But first, the no pressure tags! I'll be tagging @sarandipitywrites, @winterandwords, @mary-is-writing, @emelkae, and open tag! Your words are fire, flail, free, and follow!

Now, onto To Not Falling Off Cliffs!

Dress & Odd

On the other side there were two humanoids. One was a woman, and the other was a man. They had clean flawless skin. Their hair was neatly combed without a single strand out of place. The woman wore a white dress while the man wore a black turtleneck and black slacks. They both smiled as they each held a small stack of pamphlets. They both looked almost human. Almost. Their teeth, although perfectly white and straight, looked a little too sharp. Their eyes weren’t vacant, but there was an emptiness behind their stares, the kind that demanded to be filled. They were [unintelligible]. [unintelligible] usually didn’t go door to door. [unintelligible] usually found their prey in crowds, in those that walked a little too slowly as if they were lost. Some [unintelligible] hunted on the internet, using social media to find those set adrift in their life, looking for someone or something to grab a hold of. [unintelligible] were impersonal, though they did strive to make their prey feel special. [unintelligible] preferred odds set in their favour, usually working one to one only when their hooks were in their prey.

Red & Even

There were small occasions where Erika lingered truthfully, however. She stopped in the aisle with the shampoo, taking the time she normally spent pretending to read the ingredients in each bottle. Recently, Erika had noticed that her hair was turning red and was starting to become dry and chitinous. Although she liked the unexpected colour change, she disliked how she looked with a head full of chitin instead of hair. When Erika had examined her shampoo and conditioner, she discovered her shampoo was enchanted to give her the “dazzling hair of the future.” Erika did not want the hair of the future. She wanted the hair of the present. Obtaining the hair of the present proved to be difficult. Half the shampoo brands had the “hair of the future” enchantment, making Erika wonder why she hadn’t seen anyone else with chitinous hair. Of those without the enchantment, one brand had caused the death of one of Steve’s clients, two brands were currently in the midst of lawsuits due to giving their customers alchemical burns, one shampoo’s only ingredient was one whole coconut, and the rest weren’t sulphate free. Erika sighed, rubbing her temples, feeling her headache returning. What should have been simple hygiene was quickly turning into a losing battle. Erika could at least choose how badly she lost that battle. She picked up one of the shampoos with sulphates; it would make her already dry hair even drier, but at least she would be free of the chitin.

Book

At first glance, the apartment looked the same as it was when Erika last visited. There was still a bucket of crystals on the end table next to a stack of unopened cardboard boxes with facial cleansers targeted towards teens. The blue macrofibre dusting cloth was still left forgotten on the bookshelf next to a series of volumes on pigeon breeding. Beer cozies with various energy drink logos printed on them nestled mason jars filled with origami flowers were scattered about every available flat surface. Next to where Erika sat was a potted plant sitting on a cardboard box that once contained meal replacement shakes. But, as Erika examined the room further, she spotted new items among the clutter. A small box of make-up was in the bucket of crystals. A bar of soap that looked like a cupcake sat on the bookshelf, still in its original packaging. The paper petals of the origami flowers look like they were wet, and the room reeked of peppermint, with the stench being strongest next to the origami flowers. There was a plastic depiction of a zombified cat having a tea party with a ceramic frog in the soil of the potted plant.

[angelsleepinggurl]

𝐒𝟐:𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟑

═════ ◈ ═════

Your first Christmas at your boyfriend’s house, and it’s not going as you expected. You woke up in an empty bed, his side of the bed already smoothed out. By the time you have the chance to lift your head and rub the sleep from your eyes, he walks towards you briskly, planting a kiss on your forehead. He stumbles over his words, explaining that business waits for no man and business doesn’t believe in holidays. It made you sad at first, but once he told you he’d be home early today, you brightened up a bit. Since then you’ve been eagerly waiting for him, excited to pepper him with your kisses once he enters the doors.

You’ve decided to surprise him again, giving him and sweet and simple surprise for when he gets home. Maybe you’re also trying to make up for the last time you tried to do this when his best friend completely ruined the mood by dropping in unannounced. This time it’s different. No petals, no music, maybe some music, but no candles. Just a brand new red lingerie set, chosen carefully to match Nanami’s likes and the colours of Christmas, hidden underneath your tulle robe.

Humming the melody of ‘Santa Baby’, you stand up from the bed, deciding to fix up the decorations of the tree. The fairy lights flicker gently, casting a warm glow against your face. You notice some golden tinsel that has fallen off its designated branch, reaching to fix it, your fingers brush against its rough texture. Catching sight of one of the baubles, your fingers brush against it. It leads you to wonder what would’ve happened if you never applied for this specific job. It's silly to think about because the obvious answer would be that you would’ve met different people and had different experiences and you would eventually be asking the same question then, but this time it’s different. You wouldn’t know what you would be doing if you hadn’t met Kento. Would you even be with someone, or would you continue to be a problem to your parents? At least they love Choso. You’re frowning thinking about the outcome, being with Choso. Maybe it’s because you know that with Choso, your parents would have started pushing the two of you towards marriage, and knowing Choso, he’d do anything to make your parents happy. Would you have the courage to say no if he asked, or would you force yourself to say yes because you hadn’t met a man like Kento? If you hadn’t met Kento. It amazes you how each decision really has a different outcome and affects the trajectory of your life. A wave of gratitude settles in you. You’re proud of how far you’ve come in your life and how it is right now.

You don’t notice the door opening, but you do notice when your boyfriend calls out, “I’m home”. As he hurriedly takes off his coat and shoes you step out onto the top of the marble staircase.

“Hey baby.” you coo playfully. Laughing at the dumbstruck look on his face- like a kid who’s just unwrapped the best gift.

“Is it my birthday? What did I do to deserve this?” he asks, his voice a mix of disbelief and awe. With every careful step towards you, his eyes remain locked on you, drinking in the sight.

“No silly,” you giggle, placing a hand on his chest once he’s in front of you. “It’s Christmas.” you lock eyes with him, feeling the warmth between you, before wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a gentle kiss on his lips. You laugh against them as he doesn’t wrap his arms around you immediately, still in shock. You begin to walk towards the room, hand in hand, but he stops you by squeezing it firmly. “Is there anyone in there?” he asks cautiously, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Not that I know of,” you reply jokingly.

“No Gojo.”

You shake your head.

“No Geto.”

You shake your head again, grin widening.

“Come on, big guy.” you say, leading him into the bedroom by his spotted tie.

His lips attach unto yours as he pushes the door to a close with a faint click. He matches your slow and deliberate movements, savouring the kiss and the moment. Your hands begin to push off his blazer, sliding the arms down, the clothing dropping to the ground. “Have I told you how good you look?” he says between kisses.

“No you haven’t Kento,” you reply, your voice light and teasing.

“Well you look really damn good.”

“Thank you, Kento.”

He momentarily resumes kissing you, only to interrupt himself, “I mean you always look good but like ‘Wow’, you know?” You hum in understanding, focusing on trying to unbutton his shirt. “Like when I came through those doors I was like, I can’t believe she’s my girlfriend, you know?” You hum in understanding again, pulling him down to the bed with you, wrapping your legs around his waist. “And I-”

“Baby.” you whisper gently, letting a hand mess up his blond locks, “If you don’t focus we’ll never finish this.”

“Maybe that's what I want.” He murmurs against your neck, voice low, “Maybe I don’t want to finish.”

His kisses slowly trail down from your neck, making sure he covered every inch of it and sometimes going over an area twice. His hands slowly pull the string that keeps the robe closed, revealing the lingerie you were wearing underneath. There’s a gleam in his eyes when he whispers “There’s more?” probably meant to be said in his head. There’s a shift in Kento, almost determined, almost hungry as he hurriedly peppers kisses against your chest. His hands gently slide against the bodice of the garment, feeling the so lacy texture against you. A greedy hand cups your breasts, as he works his way down to your midsection, another hand begins to teasingly rub your clothed cunt.

You instinctively begin lifting your hips to rub your clit against his fingers, growing impatient. “Someone’s excited.” he chuckles, you roll your eyes and pull him down by his neck, reconnecting your lips again as your fingers scramble to peel his work shirt off, a hand immediately resting on his bicep. Your cunt becomes increasingly drenched the more Kento toys with it, and soon your soft moans become more audible. “There’s a good girl.” he purrs in your ears, sliding the crotch area of your lingerie out of the way, giving him a perfect view of your soaked pussy, glistening in the sunlight coming in through the window of the bedroom. The moment your panties are shuffled off, he continues to tease you. Your moans become breathy when Kento’s fingers expertly move in circles on your puffy clit and your hand attempts to grip the silky sheets underneath. The sight of Kento’s messed up hair and the determined look on his face turn you on even more.

“Fuck just put it in already,” you whine, visibly frustrated. Those are the magic words he’s been waiting to hear this whole while because he knew from the moment he saw you up those stairs he may not have been able to play the long game. Without wasting a second, the jingling sound of a belt unbuckling and trousers falling down fills the room. He gives himself a few pumps before aligning himself to your dripping entrance. The first few thrusts are slow to help you ease yourself. “You’re still so goddamn tight, fuck.” he whispers harshly, placing a hand on the headboard and another on your hip and in a couple moments, you’re in heaven. It’s like his cock was made for you the way it fills you up to the brim, so perfectly.

You feel your face gradually flushing as the heat rises within you. The sound of your squelching cunt fills the room as well as the sounds of skin slapping. “Does that feel good baby?” Nnami coos, his hand leaving your hips and moving towards your ankle. You nod quickly eyes closed as you sink into the pleasuring feeling. “Even when I do this?” he asks innocently as he lifts you’re leg up on his shoulder to reach deeper. You’re momentarily muted by the intensified feeling, “Answer me, baby. I need to know if this feels good.”

“Fuck yes! God, it feels good. So good.” you exclaim, struggling to sit still.

“Stay still for me pretty girl.” he mumbles next to your ear, planting a few gentle kisses on your cheek that contrasts with his deep and intense strokes. The headboard of the bed has started to slam against the wall as he pummels within you, your eyes glossing over with tears from pleasure.

“Shit right there Kento, right there. Oh Yes!”, you’re not even trying to stay quiet anymore, especially as you feel it coming on. You feel the addictive, euphoric high close, and Nanami notices.

So he stops.

Your brows raise in confusion. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. You open your eyes to see him smirking above you, small beads of sweat rolling down his body. “Why did you stop?” you ask, a slight pout on your lips.

“Turn around.”, you obediently flip yourself over, pressing your face into the pillows beneath you. You feel him trace his cock on your ass before circling your sore cunt that seems to be clenching around nothing. He presses his tip against your entrance teasingly before pushing all the way in. You use your arms to push yourself up but this time he doesn’t ease you into it, your arms go weak and you fall back down again. This time he’s fucking you rough, and if you thought you were being stretched out before, now you really are. You can feel the head of his cock brush against your cervix, making you see stars. Your head is spinning and you can't think about anything else than how good you feel right now. How you feel like you're flying on a cloud. “Now there’s no need to cry.” he coos, as he wipes the tears you didn’t realise were rolling down your cheek. His thumb presses on your clit hard, “Oh my fu-fucking Go-od.” you cry out clawing at the headboard and then frantically reaching behind you. Kento grabs a hold of both of your wrists and holds them together.

Your cunt squeezes around him, milking his cock, “Fuck baby, you’re squeezing him dry.” he responds breathlessly, mixed in with a couple of groans and whines. You’re stuffed full and you feel like you’re on top of the world. You’re reaching your high again.

“I’m close Ken. I’m so close.” you tell him, your back arching to increase the pleasure.

“Come for me baby. Come for me.” With a final few thrusts, you’re cumming hard, toes curling and all. You feel kento fill you up, ropes of white cum, shooting in you. “Atta girl.”

taglist: @kodzukenmaaa @markleeisdabestdrug @shibataimu

(please send a dm or comment on my the pinned blog to join.)

𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫…

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Master - Chapter 36c

*Warning Adult Content*

- Kalem -

Arias leads me through the quiet halls and out to the castle gardens which were starting to look really pretty now that Master and I spent Thursdays and Sundays out here to get it looking nice.

Master had cleared me a few patches for my sunflowers to go,but since we were starting from the beginning with them, there were no pretty petals out yet.

But they would be there one day and when they were, then I'd spend more time out in the gardens than in the library.

"You can leave," Arias says to the vampires who were on guard around the garden's entrance. 

Master had explained to me that from now onwards, there'd be vampires all around the castle, marking the entry points so that nobody who shouldn't, could come inside.

I didn't like that some people had to work while everyone else wasn't but Master said it was just how things worked.

I did feel a little better knowing that everyone took turns so it was fair.

The vampires slip by Arias with a nod to him and a little bow to me.

It made me blush every time someone did that but they didn't stop, even when I told them that they really didn't have to treat me how they treated Lincoln.

And Master was no help, he liked seeing me get all hot in my face and just smirked at me wickedly.

"Alright," Aias says after he scans his eyes over the open land that ran after the gardens for a few minutes. "Your little worm of a master promised to ensure that no other came close to this area while we were here. That means you are free to use your magic as you please. young one."

I smile widely at that as the tight places inside of me relax a little bit.

It was hard having to make sure I didn't pop at any moment, that was the only bad part about having so many new people in the castle.

But it was okay!.

There were many nice, good parts that made up for that.

Still, I had to pop around just a few times to feel completely like myself again.

"Sit with me," Arias says when I'm done, his eyes full of light as he folded himself down on the grass before offering me a hand to help me down in front of him.

Once I've got my legs folded under myself as he does, he lets a small smile take his face.

"Before you can hope to mould several forms or use the full weight of your power, you need to understand what Elven magic really is."

I nod my head and make sure to focus on each of Arias' words.

Arias said we'd have fun with this and I wanted that too, but I knew that Arias was taking a chance he shouldn't by teaching me so much.

So even though it was supposed to be fun, I made sure to listen carefully since this was super serious.

"Nature stands at the centre of everything we are," Arias explains, his smile growing sweeter which every word he spoke. "Our realm is vast with many species with very different ways of life, but at the centre of every culture and every home, is our landscape. It's the same for us all; elves, dragons, griffons, avian shifters and all the rest, we cherish all that surrounds us through all things."

I raise my hand and Arias chuckles.

"What is it young one?" 

"Is that why I like flowers so much?" I ask hopefully. "I've always liked them. From the first day with Master, I remember the plants outside your Malcolm's home, I liked those a lot. I like plants but flowers even more"

Arias blinks at me for only a few seconds before he smiles even wider than before, his ears twitching just a little at the pointy tips.

"Yes, I believe so. There's some specific part of a world's surface that every elven creature connects with, something we cherish. For me, it's water, more specifically, a river's freshwater. For you, it may be flowers."

I look around the garden Lincoln and I were building, knowing deep down that it was definitely flowers for me.

The way I got all full and bubbly inside when I saw a colourful petal was like nothing else in the world, so I definitely 'cherished' flowers.

"Do you get bubbly for water?" I ask before quickly correcting. "River water?"

"Bubbly?" Arias repeats with a chuckle.

"You know," I say as I lift my hands to my chest. "That feeling deep inside in here, right behind where your heart is beating all the time. It gets so good that sometimes it glows a bit, like the sun," I point up. "And it gets so big that you feel like you may grow a second heart."

Arias laughs loudly as he leans on his knees for support while his body shakes but I didn't think he was laughing at me so it was okay.

"Somehow that description is better than any my tutors have offered over the decades."

That was a good thing so I smile back at him.

"That's exactly how it feels, Kalem," Arias says as he sits back up. "You feel something similar with the other elements and such but its hardly as fulling."

When I nod my head again, Arias takes a moment to look around one more time, this time even slower than before as if he was looking for something.

I look too but I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for. 

"Elven magic runs on our connection with nature," Arias explains softly as if he was speaking about something precious. "There are no words needed, no special spells, no vast amount of concentration... it's simply a reflection of how deep our connection runs."

Before I can tell Arias that I didn't really understand that part, he closes his eyes and takes in a deep lungful of air.

That strong, overpowering feeling that came around last time we fought comes back as the air splits between us and Arias' true form comes forth.

I'd only seen it that one time but this time we weren't fighting so I could see just how beautiful he was.

I liked Arias' long, blonde hair but this silver-grey short hair was pretty too, especially with how curly it was.

And Arias' body was bigger too, his frame filling with more muscles that filled in his loose clothes completely.

I had to look up even higher than before to see his face since he seemed to be growing taller too.

He was gorgeous.