#the personal reasons being because i am autistic

[jenroses]

The question is always "who decides what is degenerate" and "who decides what to do about said degeneracy" and invariably it becomes a leopards-eating-faces issue. Like people who are immigrants voting for trump because obviously they aren't "the bad ones" like oh please he hates you too because it is convenient for him to paint everyone who is an immigrant as a criminal. Unless they're hot. Maybe.

Superficially I am monogamously married to a man, my driver's license says I'm female, I was baptized when I was four into the church of my mother's family, we have an amount of savings that let's us live reasonably comfortably in a house that should probably have some repairs, driving a 20 year old car that meets my needs, with enough money to take care of my special diet and medical needs, and I have three children.

And I have been called a faggot, a dyke, a commie (ironically because at the time I was arguing the importance of separation of church and state), told that because my father is Jewish my people "killed Jesus" (I was 10), etc.

I'm fat and queer and trans and Jewish enough, and disabled and autistic and I know that despite "doing everything right" that in very much the one they hate and that despite an unflagging commitment to the well-being of children, there are people in this world who would rather see me dead and would call me a degenerate simply because sometimes I have blue hair. Literally they have told me this.

I can't pass because I'm in a wheelchair and "look nonbinary enough" that the people who most often correctly pronoun me without being told are cashiers. I may be the palest white person I've ever seen but my whiteness is so very conditional and I know it.

There is nothing good to be gained by dehumanizing people. I am categorically opposed to child abuse but my definition of child abuse and other people's are not always congruent. And it is important to understand that.

DNI lists on this website are fucking insane

[painyrainy]

...chat.... we projecting onto characters w this one‼️‼️

Sanemi is autistic maybe? 1/?

me being scared to say this cuz I've seen the fate of other poor souls who had posted this on other sites

I am going to make separate posts because if I put it all into one it's gonna be too long and no one will read it lol

1- the whole Sanemi vs Giyu conflict

ok, so the number one reason that sanegiyu has haters (not including all the homophobics 😒) is that it would be toxic. Oh! But- Sanemi hates Giyu! He bullies him for no reason!

ok but there is a reason; miscommunication. Giyu has 20 mental health issues and lowkey don't gaf about his reputation. Why doesn't Sanemi pick up on it? Not only does he miss the obvious hints, but he wildly catastrophises the situation to be "Oh, he doesn't talk to us, he must think he's superior". Literally like... everyone else knows that Giyu's dealing with stuff and Sanemi interpreted it as a personal attack.

This can be interpreted as Sanemi's own infeority problems, but it could also be an autistic trait of misinterpreting and catastrophising, catastrophising also being a symtom of anxiety, which you might know that Sanemi shows symptoms of anxiety from @/demonslayerunhinged's post. Guess what? Anxiety is also widely found in autistic individuals. 😮

Misinterpreting tone, because Giyu wasn't even trying to hide anything, is also another obvious trait that I don't rlly need to explain. Yall know this. Misinterpreting body language, tone, social cues (we will talk specifically about this. mayybe), etc.

"Well...,, , why aren't we talking about obanai then..,.,?" Because he's just a little hater idrc about him right now.

I feel like i missed smth. my brain is fried. I apologise.

[eternal-everblaze]

Fintante headcannons (specifically angst with some form of hope) if you feel like it?

help all of them left my head when you sent this

I am incapable of understanding what angst means so you might not get any of that. Anyways. Incoherent list time.

when they were still ""friends"" fintan would annoy bronte when he was doing work and show him human things he thought were cool and bronte would just say "that's nice" without looking

personally i prefer Bronte being taller than Fintan it's just funnier to me. Like Bronte getting spammed with short jokes from Fintan and he would just grunt like wow you think you're so funny. Not exactly my style. It would be way funnier if Fintan got hit with all the short jokes cuz he would get all mad about it. Among other reasons. I might elaborate more on this in a later post.

I think they'd compete with each other about everything like those friend groups you know what im saying (except way more gay)

they gardened together as a shared autistic interest (yippee!!!) but then after the Everblaze incident bronte stopped because obvious reasons and now gardening reminds him of fintan. While fintan still gardens to remind him of bronte (fintan gardened for centuries just to see his noxflares bloom tell me that's not obsession...)

seeing any type of fire reminds bronte of fintan... this is kinda obvious but I felt the need to add it

drinking buddies???? Question mark??? Fintan would get drunk and try to get bronte to join him but he would just stand there watching him do dumb shit. Then when Fintan blacks out and wakes up he asks bronte what happened last night he'd be like nothing dont worry about it ;)

Uhh ummm uhhh I ran out of fintante headcanons (and brainpower) that I didnt borrow from other people so here's my fintante playlist

[neversith]

due to personal reasons, anakin is now autistic.

[555bunnies]

Something about being a girl and a bunny and other related things

[1000dactyls]

I wanna know if you have any thoughts on Valka and Sroicks parenting and how that affects hiccup? Because I'm loving so much of your content rn, especially your drawings!! But when I see stuff like Tgirl Hiccup while I think they would be supportive, I don't think they would be ... the best because their not really the best. Like ofc they tried even Val when she came back, but it doesn't and won't ever make up for everything else it's so complicated, and nuisanced would love to hear your thoughts!!

Im going to break this post into addressing stoick and valka separately because valka is such a non-entity in hiccup and stoick’s familial life. valka’s section will be underneath the ‘read more’

But I definitely agree! Unfortunately for Hiccup (and also not to project ijbol), it’s so hard because stoick’s best isn’t enough. Oh, stoick tries! He tries so hard — between the movies and the shows, he so clearly cares for his son. But he can never be just Hiccup’s dad; Stoick is the Chief of Berk before he’s Hiccup’s father, and both he and Hiccup know that. Hiccup grows up self sufficient and is used to a lonely home. The kind of free reign that he gets (and the resulting knee-jerk reaction he has to any kind of responsibility after 15 years of said free reign) doesn’t make for great conditions to cultivate a healthy, loving, traditional parental relationship

Still — i think stoick is more supportive than we give him credit for, at least going off the RoB/DoB characterizations. (Again, I haven’t finished watching RTTE, so Im not gonna speak for anything there.) When Hiccup makes moves for more freedom and responsibility, even as early as s01e01 “How to Start a Dragon Academy”, Stoick works with Hiccup to grant him that freedom. He makes attempts to connect to his son, albeit misguided and inevitably circling back to his own interests/role as the chief of Berk and not just Hiccup’s dad. For example, s01e07 “How to Pick your Dragon” shows Stoick ending up listening to Hiccup about getting a dragon, even though he mostly gets a dragon because it further suits his interests as a chief, which he realizes on the flight Toothless and Hiccup take him on. Which also leads to the core conflict of the episode! Because Stoick’s attempts to understand Hiccup are ultimately rooted in his own narrow perception of the world, that there is a Right way and Wrong way to do things, and Hiccup’s way is most definitely not the right way.

But Stoick listens. Over time, he picks up the signs when his child is frustrated and genuinely asks how he can help (s02e15 “A Tale of Two Dragons” 3 options talk). And after the events of the first movie, Stoick makes more attempts to involve Hiccup in his going-ons, such as the portrait of the chief’s family or contacting Johann to find a beloved childhood plushie. So i think stoick tries, and his best isn’t enough, so thank god hiccup isn’t dependent on only stoick and the both of them know this. And just because the both of them know this doesn’t mean that stoick doesn’t try to improve their relationship at all. In the end, he’s just really set in his own ways and his own traditions.

So in a world where Hiccup is trans, I do think Stoick is supportive no matter what direction Hiccup ends up going. Is he confused? Yes, always, because there isn’t a very established tradition even if Berk does have a history of trans folk. I think stoick has to try really really hard, and he messes up a lot in the beginning. Like, you know when your parents are trans affirming in a really weird and even insulting way? That happens a lot for Hiccup and Stoick. But they work together and Stoick works to try and get on Hiccup’s level, whether that means sending terror-mail to Johann to inquire about trans literature or gender-affirming clothes or dialing Gothi to move Hiccup’s t/e prescription to the front of the line.

……..argh, Valka.

Of course Valka tried when she came back, but the conscious decision to stay away for twenty years and miss some of the most important milestones in your child’s life says a lot, and I think Hiccup also knows that. Especially because of how similar they are, even though Valka would immediately accept and adore and absolutely love Hiccup and all his Hiccup-ness right off the bat… I think he’s aware of how different and better his life could’ve been with Valka’s understanding presence. In the end, one parent stayed and tried their best. And one didn’t really try at all, not until they reconnected again.

And like! I dont think Valka and Hiccup would ever be as close as Stoick and Hiccup were. Like it is one thing to idolize your parent in absentia and build up this idealistic wholesome perfect image of who they are, getting your characterization from their partner who never got over them even after 20 years. And it is another thing to meet that parent and realize… wow! They also don’t measure up to what I needed them to be as a child.

And so for all of Valka’s understanding, for all of the easiness it is for Valka to understand Hiccup, especially in a world where Hiccup is trans — it’s not Valka who had to deal with the bureaucracy of Hiccup’s gender change, nor aided in the social transition for people Hiccup has spent his entire life with. It’s not Valka who asked uncertain, blunt and somewhat invasive questions about Hiccup’s new identity, or found weird and strange ways to support it. It’s not Valka who would’ve gotten an entirely new wardrobe commissioned or talked to Gothi about medical transition.

Like, I think Valka tries, and it’s easy for her to understand the idea and support Hiccup. But i dont think she’d ever be Hiccup’s first choice when it comes to questions about who s/he is, not when there are people who stayed and tried much harder than her, and know far more about Hiccup than she ever did and maybe will.

[autistic-beshelar]

ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him

[theokusgallery]

I hate that I have reoccurring themes in everything I make. YES this guy has a complex over the fact that everyone prefers his sibling AGAIN. YES he was ostracized by his peers since he was in primary school and never knew why until years later. URGH

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"just give them an aac device!"

"just teach them sign language"

"body language and facial expressions alone are good enough for communicating what you need"

Nonononono f*!k off. Stop acting like nonverbal people have easy solutions to their lack of verbality. Not everyone can use an aac device- some people struggle with spelling or can't spell at all, some people have motor skills issues that makes typing a nightmare that takes a long time, some can't articulate themselves without outside help. Learning sign is hard if you again have motor skills issues or struggle to make facial expressions that convey what your feeling (flat affect applies to more than just a person's voice- some people really struggle to make facial expressions and have stilted or strange body language- you people can understand why autistic people get burnt out from masking all day- you know often having to control their body language and make certain facial expressions etc yet you can't understand why nonverbal autistics can't just learn sign- a language very heavy on facial expressions and expressive body language?) also again spelling and motor skill issues are a pain and also a lot of families with deaf or nonverbal children refuse to learn sign for said children and I'm sorry in day to day life I haven't met many people who speak sign- yeah you can move to a community with a lot of deaf or nonverbal people that use sign but that's not always possible and its very limiting. And do I even have to explain the third one- autistic body language is confusing to neurotypicals and I hate the stereotype that its just so blunt and obvious/better than neurotypical communication- maybe that's what its like for you and your 'smart sheldon cooper/Wednesday Addams' style autism but not every autistic person 'says exactly what they mean' often times autistic people struggle with semantics and articulating sentences that make any sense! and all these misunderstandings surrounding stimming are annoying to!- spinning can be a 'happy' stim but it can also mean your overwhelmed or understimulated, a lot of people with autism have voices that lack inflections, mix that in with being unable to use words and no it does not help communicate their needs- f!*k off with acting like its easy not all autistic people who are nonverbal can spell, not all autistic people w are nonverbal have good motor skills and body language alone is never enough to convey a persons needs. Before anyone comes after me yes Sign is body language but its also actual symbols and can convey full thoughts and ideas and sentences and also body language is hard for a lot of autistic people to convey like stated above.

Not every form autistic communication is being 'logical' and unoffended because 'we're just more logical than those superfluous, shallow neurotypicals that let their feelings control them and are never direct about what they want-we value facts and logic unlike those butthurt neurotypicals' and being overly blunt- no a lot of autistic people find that communication is messy and the ways they can communicate are ineffective and your 'logical, facts dont care about your feelings' style of communication isn't as amazing as you think it is. Stop speaking over nonverbal autistics- their is no real perfect solution to them not being able to speak. And I'm gonna say it- while not all nonverbal people are low functioning or high support needs or whatever the new term is-being nonverbal is a massive disadvantage and having your disability be visible like that is scary in many situations and being unable to communicate your needs can make it impossible to meet your needs-

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[thornheartless]

whos worse for each other. butchlander or ozycom

That is the question of the century I think, I'm inclined to say butchlander because in an alternative universe I could actually see ozycom making it work in a way that's at least a little better for each other

[katyspersonal]

[goblin-enjoyer]

*draws something for the first time in a while. “Man I suck at drawing! Maybe go back to being good at it if I draw more!”

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

*doesn’t draw

“Oh I got a neat idea for a drawing! Surely I have gotten better by now!” Loop post

[kitakeo]

I KNOOW OKAYY /lh

theres just not a lot of protagonists written from a perspective like his i gotta romanticize the rare indifferent autism guy when i can </3

[colors927]

the energy on this post is so bizarre

i don’t know who this lady is but i am autistic and cannabis and cbd do benefit me so idk why every reply is like you “go girl! get his ass!”

like what is going on here genuinely. why are we encouraging this behavior lol

i would, can, and WILL die for sydnee mcelroy

[carsickcrow]

i feel Insane about this podcast but this behavior is very normal for me as an autistic person. i don’t know why i feel embarrassed about it. i mean i don’t feel that embarrassed i’m letting myself yell into the void of tumblr about it and i mention it incessantly to anyone near me but like. i feel like i’m probably being Really Annoying about it. and i am. but like also. that’s just how i am with hyperfixations this is not a new thing for me. i’m allowed to be a little annoying i’m having a good time