#the person at the store was very nice
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I bought a trans flag today! We'll see if I have the guts to bring it to pride this year (my town's pride week is rather late in the summer), but i own one now!
#the person at the store was very nice#i feel bad for being so awkward but idk it felt scary for some reason#and i'm already making up weird scenarios where i just happen to be in a news picture with a pride flag and then all my relatives see#and something disastrous happens#like me being in a publicly shared picture with the trans flag is plausible#someone who i'm not out to seeing it is possible#but a. my relatives are fairly liberal#b. honestly most of them probably don't recognise the trans flag#and even if doing it outs me so what#i've been wanting to come out for a pretty long time#plus i really want to do it before i do my bachelor's thesis#so i can change my name and id number before that and not have to deal with the hassle#of having a bachelor's published under my deadname
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Been doing a lot of finishing/frogging of old projects since I started packing... maybe like a dozen or two at this point, most of which I had no idea existed. And while finishing a mostly done project that had been put in Bad Item Jail is very nice, I'm learning that going "okay, even though I probably could finish this and it might not even be that annoying, I Don't Want To ! So instead I will free up the yarn for the next time I DO want to make something with it" is really satisfying. Begone, bag that is 95% completed but that I don't really like and won't really be happy with ! Now I can make you into a bag I do like. Yay !
#ive also recently gone thru all of my clothes and put 2/3 aside to donate to my work#because i really needed to downsize due to having a small dresser and the propensity to put off doing laundry#plus rather than goodwill/thrift store donation i can donate to the clothing closet at my work#where i KNOW it will go directly to a homeless person who asked for it or something similar#our clothing closet is almost empty and i feel like shit giving people who asked for 10 things 1 thing that may not even work#its nice to get rid of stuff i dont appreciate and even better to give it to someone who will#even if they arent able to appreciate it for very long its still better than nothing by a long shot
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#āmy monthly webkinzā god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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you know, there are a lot of posts about how transitioning as an adult is like going through puberty all over again. and Iām not medically transitioning (at least not yet, maybe one day), so I donāt know if I ever expected to exactly experience that. after all, my hormones are at normal adult levels for someone on birth control. but no, some of the stuff I experience does make me feel like a teenager awkwardly becoming an adult again, actually.
see, Iām attending a friendās wedding, and I need new formalwear for it (protip: it is generally frowned upon to wear a wedding dress to someone elseās wedding, and thatās the last formalwear I purchased). and I justā¦ really didnāt want to wear a dress, so I went to go get a suit. and I didnāt know how to get any of the required clothes for it and had to have a salesperson help me figure out how dress shirts work and nervously stood there while getting shown how to try stuff on and it really did feel like I was a lost teenager, despite being, you know, almost twenty-six.
but also: I own a three-piece suit now! itās grey! it looks pretty good on me! I even got a blue tie with bees on it! so it was worth the temporary embarrassment of suddenly realizing I donāt know how menās formalwear sizes work and, oh god, why are there so many variations of āwhite dress shirtā what does this mean.
and I figure as I very slowly work up the confidence to be out more irl there will be more and more moments like this, and Iļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ll lament the fact I didnāt do all this stuff as an actual teenager, but as weird and scary as it is, so far, itās been worth it.
#also shoutout to the salesperson both at the suit store and the department store#they were VERY nice and reassuring and the woman at the department store wished me luck which was very sweet#I was. very obviously nervous social anxiety is a bitch#I kept being like āIām so sorry I donāt know how this worksā but I never had anyone teach me so I must give myself grace#anyway more personal than I normally am on this blog but Iām excited and also figure someone out there probably relates#just. late milestones. thing I keep experiencing both because autism and because not cis#suddenly realizing āoh most people figure this one out as a teenagerā#milestones are bullshit anyway#anyway some stuff needs to come in and then be hemmed so no pictures yet but#suitā¦ā¦
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I watched season 3 and rewatched season 1 and 2 of the umbrella academy and what I can gather is:
Five (season 1): Denial, anger
Five (season 2): Bargaining
Five (season 3): Depression, acceptance
#usually he's a colourful fruit salad of denial anger bargaining depression and more anger though#season 3 five just makes me especially sad though#like he was done#he could retire#have a nice road trip#figure himself out as a person for once#breathe a little#but nope#and he still explores all options until he finally gives up#cause he would rather die with his family all together rather than a sad lonely old man in a tube#or at the mercy of whatever reginald had in store for them#but even at the very end he still can't shake the instinct to protect his family#and beats allison to the last sigil in the floor and figures out the sigil in the first place#also jesus what was season 3 I feel like I had a fever dream lol#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#tua#im not saying he passed through these stages instead they just layered on top of each other like a sad gooey cake
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the Classic. the Beloved. the Cumulus Cloud
#sky#haiz goes outside#IT'S WAARRMMMMMMM#nice thing that happened today was at the store#i was rummaging through the discount foods that expire soon and found something that was Enticing but i wasn't sure about#and this person next to me grabbed it and was like you're not gonna have these?#and i was like you can have them#but they continued like are you sure. these are sooo fucking good. they're just so good#and then they let me have them#honestly very sweet. thank u grocery store stranger
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Moms day outš¤šāš»
#personal#selfie#I couldnāt choose#so tumblr gets 2#also I live in these 2 filters I love them so much#also people were very nice to me today at the store and at the coffee shop#and I found 2 new shirts and a jacket#and my swimsuits came in and I actually like them#and I live in this Jean jacket too šš
š
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Yāall I actually met danhausen today holy crap
He was very nice!
#danhausen#very chill#all elite wrestling#he was so nice!#aew#I told him I really look up to him and heās a big inspiration#it was really surreal though#like Iāve seen him at shows but it was crazy being face to face#very kind person !#not too evil#it was my first real signing#Iāve had signatures from other wrestlers but not in an environment like this#and it was at one of my favorite stores in Savannah so that was a plus
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now in theory if I made little note pads like this would anyone be interested? š· with a better binding (higher quality glue lol) and adjusting the illustration of course, as this was just a test ^^
#It's on very soft paper it actually looks so pretty in person. I would have to source more since it's from a sketchbook hehe#As I've complained many times I've been unable to make new illustrations but I need to keep updating my shop..#So something like this using my old illustrations could be nice ^-^#That hot glue is from the dollar store lmao I would use something else entirely so it would be nice and pretty
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for this mood board monday, i present yet another ficboard. the board in question is of franka by @ongreenergrasses
#PLEASE let me explain myself#so the first pic (top left corner) is meant to parallel the third pic (top right corner)#because theyāre both slow dancing pics BUT i feel like the first pic is more desperate and looks more like an attempt at comfort#which i felt like fit into chapter two. whereas third pic is a nod to all the dancing they did at the wedding in ch1#then the second pic is a reference to how snow called on the phone. wanted it to be dark and shady#dark academia if u will#but i also thought the pearls were nice d4 touch#then the fourth pic is a reference to the shower scene in ch2#then the fifth pic was me trying to encapsulate the intimacy of ch1ās sex scene#then the sixth pic is just how i imagine they were at ch1ās wedding#like imagine ur a wedding guest and u look over at odesta and theyāre just like O.O at each other#seventh pic: canned peaches >> fresh peaches. ik this prob wasnāt a very accurate pic#but the other options were like. grocery store stock images#eighth pic: annie after ch1 tbh. next pic: a reference of their meeting w snow. rose isnāt on fire *yet*#then the next two pics were me being fake as fuck thatās why theyāre the smallest LMAO#like in ch1 finnick carries annie when theyāre already inside and the slit in annieās dress has already been sewn up#but the mental image of finnick carrying her was scute. if only the dress didnāt have the slit!!!#but also itās a reference to finnick being a Leg Person?? fucking based tbh#i rlly wanted to do the sun persists in rising but imma have to hold off until itās finished so the vibes are optimal#anywayyy sorry for yet another long tagged post i just felt like this one needed a lot of explaining#odesta#annie cresta#mood board monday
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Vegetta is so handsome but if you line up every single one of his photos side by side he straight up looks like he could be 5 completely different dudes. How the frick does he look so different in every single photo
#i talk#qsmp talk#my opinion of someone's beauty / attractiveness DIRECTLY correlates to how much I like them#I adore Vegetta and I think he's very pretty and has nice eyes and a nice smile#but I also know a bunch of random people think he looks nice too so *SHRUGS*#it's hard for me to give an opinion on how pretty / attractive / hot someone is if I'm not familiar with them so I'm always like#???? most of the time at people's comments about random celebrities or whatever#ARTISTICALLY I completely get it#like I can see someone gorgeous at the grocery store or whatever and be like WOW#but as far as attractiveness goes I'm like ''well lemme see their personality first''#we're getting off topic here but anyways. I love Vegetta
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hmm. just realised my still problematic physical anxiety may not be anxiety but hypervigilance. sertraline is supposed to treat PTSD as well as anxiety so I'm still hoping a higher dose will finally settle me down for good.
it doesn't help that i haven't been able to see my psych since November...
oh. lol, i just realised that days where I'm anxious correlate with trauma dreams. why didn't i connect the dots earlier lmao
#i brought a body pillow in preparation for top surgery & also cuz i thought it would be nice for autism and its very nice to sleep in!#recommend for people who like coziness! you can get them from disability catering stores (mine was from pain relief australia)#dogpost#personal#hs' anxiety#hs' cptsd#no bold
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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(via @cordycepsbian)
We can answer this actually we love talking about Cool Art Stuff.
Despite what one may assume, sharp edges in watercolor is actually quite easy! Come, sit, allow us to share our secrets. It's like 50% "materials" and 50% "we spent a long-ass time figuring out how to do sharp edges in watercolor and now we're really good at figuring out the exact combos of consistency and brush stroke required to make those really hard edges"
The first trick is, of course, to not try and do it at the beginning of the painting. When you're just starting to block shapes in to your watercolor, pursuing sharp edges is a fool's ordeal, and you can only really get those sharp edges in as finishing touches near the end of the work.
The second trick is to work wet-on-dry - this limits the spread of the watercolor and allows you to prevent bleeding, but you have to make sure your painting is COMPLETELY dry before painting, or you'll risk having some ill-defined lines and bleeding.
The third trick is to work with... cake watercolors? There's a tern for it, we just can't remember it - dry pan watercolors, where you have to wet the paint to "activate" it, offer you a LOT more control over the consistency of your paint, and using a relatively thick paint will allow you some REALLY sharp lines! Fair warning, your mileage may vary based on the specific paints you use just because pigment is Expensive and cheaper brands of watercolor will almost definitely be, like, cutting out as much pigment as they can manage in order to cut corners, and the sharp edges will be less obvious the more transparent they are.
As a general rule of thumb when you pay for Fancy watercolor you're paying for the insane amount of pigment that they put in their Fancy Stuff and that lends itself a lot more to Sharp Lines (plus one thing of it will last Fucking Forever). The black we use Specifically is an Artisanal Fancy Brand that we don't remember the name of and we've been using the same ~$10 thing for more than a year without even using up half of it, but honestly the actual paints you use are the Least important part of doing watercolor, you can do like the exact same thing with dollar store paints it'll just be a bit less pigmented.
The fourth trick is to just, like, practice a TON. You WILL have to spend time getting it right. It will take a Long-Ass Time. You will have So Much Trouble. Unfortunately this step cannot be avoided but we can still warn you that you'll be trying to make really sharp lines for like an hour and it still won't quite work.
The last trick is to uhh
#we speak#not art#unfortunately the people saying to invest in Good Materials are sometimes correct and good brushes are like#the number one reason that we can manage the sort of really sharp edges that we can without muddling#for context this is a fancy-ass semi-stiff lining brush that we've found allows for VERY sharp edges#it's VERY nice and it holds its shape INCREDIBLY well allowing for some very nicely defined edges without stray brush strands#however it's also like fifteen bucks for one brush so you kinda have to like. Decide If It's Worth It#we got like two brushes from the same brand from a watercolor technique workshop for free and we shelled out bc the other brushes were like#Really Good#total cost of this is like uhhh fucking twenty bucks. if you have that to spare we 100% recommend it#but if you dont then you can obtain it illegally from your local art store if youre fast enough#for legal reasons that advice is a joke tho. stealing from local businesses is bad. go after a bigger store instead.#like 60% of watercolors is having Good Technique but the really defined edges that we pull here are like purely possible bc of Good Brush#and Good Brush really makes a fucking difference tho we'll still bring in our older dollar store brushes for shit like texture#beyond that its just ignoring common wisdom for watercolor tho we do A LOT of drybrushing bc we like the texture#we like deliberately fucking up our washes to make the background look more interesting we think its Cool#every watercolor person who speaks of a flat wash being the very basis of All Of Watercolor wishes to kill us personally
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alt people thinking others don't like them because they're alt like no babe you're trying to gatekeep stuff i could find on amazon
#WE DON'T WANT NONE OF YOUR PEACH COBBLER BITCH#yes i (very much alt person) just got yelled at in an alt store by staff for taking a mirror selfie#cus you could see their millennial ass ānormal people scare meā stuff in the bg#or whatever#now that i'm thinking about it#never met a relaxed rockabilly before lmao#no shade#but i was in a different store yesterday that catered more towards my subculture and the guy was sooooo nice#he searched the entire back for a smaller size and even punched more holes into my belt#plus the pricing was so much more reasonable haha#anyway vibes were severely off#alternative
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I feel like ppl ignore hobie is a BLACK punk and itās so tiring
#white ppl be racially aware for 5 seconds challenge.#like sure hobie would steal or whatever but I need you think about why ur so excited to say this#and those posts where itās like hobie and miles go to the mall and hobie steals something from each store#like no actually blk punks donāt put other blk ppl in danger bc stealing is āfunā#thatās actually something blk ppl have been talking to their yt delinquent friends Abt for a long ass time#and like. I feel like a lot of yāall treat hobie being a punk as like. a hobby first and foremost#and thatās what it might be to you but like pls read a hobie comic or talk to a blk punk irl#not to be shady or whatever but things like being a punk is about being nice or hopepunk aesthetically comes from a lot of gentrification#and a lot of respectability politics#thatās a general statement bc my opinion on all of that is very divided and like. all over the place#but in general if ur a white punk and excited Abt hobie thats great and ily but pls remember heās not you#heās not supposed to be you#you can relate but pushing the things you have the privilege to do onto him is like. weird for blk punks who see themselves in him#and itās not that deep to me cause Iām personally avoiding hobie content till yāall get over him like yāall did with Kat š¤š¾#but itās very annoying to see and it kinda worries me bc how do u see blk punks irl#and this is about hobie but thereās a similar thing with miles g. and miles#like these are black children first#can yāall stop calling miles g. a fucking thug and being stereotypical asf
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