#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure

[onrainynights]

I'm about to be so annoying btw

[raayllum]

like Callum made the right choice in 5x08 for his character and the thematic narrative. Thematically, Rayla cannot permanently die (she's too sacrificial) nor can she have a partner, honestly, who'd be willing to sacrifice her like that. Callum also cannot be willing to sacrifice her like that for the life of a stranger dragon he's never met, or not take the dark magic risk; not only is this how he's always clearly been ever since S1 ("But not everything [has changed]: I would do anything for you") but doing so would make him exactly like the worst of Viren: "If you have to choose between [the world] or your brother, pick the egg." Callum is having a dark path arc, but he's not having an antagonist or villain arc.

That said, there's a reason Callum is Chained Up when he gives the spell and locked in a damp dark brig and has to use the snake-chain spell specifically, because TDP loves its irony: what gets more ironic than freeing yourself from chains in order to free and save your girlfriend, when you know in doing so you're chaining yourself further and further to the main villain and his will in doing so? When you know that you would?

There's a reason 5x08 ends with Callum looking scared and sad and the shot of the snakes, because those aren't fun things (hi Ocean arcanum epiphany) to learn or fully accept about yourself. There's a reason that what characters justify with "I had no choice" or "this is the right thing to do" isn't always the literal case. "I had to, to save my friends" or you could've left it. You could've tried something else than dark magic. But you didn't, because you thought that was the one thing you could do in order to not lose your friend, so you did it; You Made Your Choice.

For example, if we're talking what happened in 5x08 in a "this would keep The World 100% safe" type of deal? Callum fucked up twice. He gave the spell and he didn't know Finnegrin would be dead or unable to use it by episode's end. He did dark magic — with no idea that it wouldn't let Aaravos automatically possess him in that moment — because a world where he didn't even try and save her was worse to him. But it was a risk! Both of those things were massive risks!

Just because they didn't amount to the extreme consequences they could have had, yet, doesn't mean that they won't, since soo much of TDP is just "this thing had unforeseen/unwanted consequences as a result of the choices you made" (the loss of Rayla's team, Harrow's death, Sarai's death, the possession at all, Karim's banishment, Zubeia's corruption, Claudia's 5 season long descent, and I'm sure going to the Starscraper next season, just to name a few quick examples off the top of my head). As Harrow says:

H: But I do know I will pay the price for the choices I've made. I've done terrible things. I thought they were necessary. Now I don't know.

Rayla thought she had to leave; she didn't. Rayla thought she had to find Viren, twice; that wasn't true. She chose to leave both times. She also chose to come back both times. She could've doubled down, but she didn't. Viren, finally, didn't.

Every step forward is a choice.

That's true for Every Single Character in the show.

To deny them that is to deny the agency they do have in the circumstances they find themselves in; Soren could've not stabbed his father, Terry could've chosen to tackle rather than stab Ibis, Viren could've chosen to grieve his son. That doesn't mean they didn't have good reasons to do the things they were doing, that doesn't mean their justifications weren't strong, that doesn't mean they were necessarily wrong to do so. But they made Choices.

So did Callum. And he chose what regrets, sacrifices, and losses he could live with, in order to save the person he decided he couldn't live without.

It's that simple, and that complicated.

[scoobydoodean]

is there anything you're critical of Dean for? not meant as a gotcha, i just haven't been reading your blog for long.

i just struggle getting out of the Doylist perspective and holding characters accountable. i'm annoyingly cognizant of the external factors like them not wanting to pay Misha or having to cater to a sizeable portion of their audience that preferred the easier digestible, more accessible "two bros in MotW episodes" that didn't serve the overarching storyline or relationships or if they did, didn't take up that much air time or did it superficially (flashback to Dean being called overdramatic in 6x20 because they just didn't. get. it.).

I think it's clear that Dean and Cas’s relationship issues involving communication are an active choice made by the writers that don't just exist because Misha isn’t in all the episodes. If the writers didn’t want us to pay attention to Cas’s absences, they would establish that Cas consistently keeps in communication offscreen over the phone and that things between Dean and Cas are good when they see each other in person. Instead, they choose to do the exact opposite. They show Cas being avoidant and hiding in episodes he's not in and in episodes he's in too. They emphasize that Cas's absences are more than physical—he creates emotional distance—he hides and lies and keeps secrets when he feels ashamed or has become convinced that he needs to handle things on his own. This is a very core character hangup for Cas. It also doesn't make him a bad person. It makes him (for lack of a better word) human. His flaws are understandable and tragic and rooted in trauma, and one of the worst parts about the end of Supernatural is that Cas never gets to fully work through these feelings and have his eyes opened to exactly how deeply he is loved and that his worth is more than what he can do for others.

To be quite honest though, I think people need to become more comfortable with hearing that Cas isn't perfect without jumping to conclude that he is being condemned for being imperfect. No one is perfect—especially not our Supernatural blorbos. That includes Dean who is also imperfect. I'm not sure exactly what post of mine prompted this ask, but I don't actually think I've been that critical of Cas or condemned him for anything. I've only shined a light on some of his flaws—particularly in episodes where fandom has tended to ignore them and condemn Dean as The One And Only Bad Friend.

I guess I just wonder why it has always been acceptable to highlight Dean's flaws (even ones that don't actually exist) without ever mentioning a single thing another character did "wrong" to contribute to a conflict, but when I highlighting anything Cas ever did wrong in a conflict with Dean without a healthy helping of deancrit, people feel I'm not being "fair" enough. It's very clear that people want me to protect Cas more—even against the lightest criticisms— but I'm not sure why he's considered more deserving of that than Dean. I'm also not sure why a doylist perspective would invalidate Dean's experience as a fellow character within the story affected by Cas's absences and not an omniscient viewer who's thinking about how many episodes the writers can afford to put Misha Collins in (and again—I do not think a doylist perspective explains Cas's behavior—the behavior is intentionally written into his character for seasons upon seasons).

I'm not going to fight it if people choose to call me "cas critical" or "sam critical" because that's their prerogative. To be clear though, I don't prefer to engage with stories as competitions where we count up who did the most wrong things and assign that person as The Bad Character Among The Good Characters. I can understand if it looks that way from an outsider's perspective, but I'm actually reacting to fandom largely deciding to engage with Supernatural as if it should be consumed as a story about The Bad Character Among The Good Characters and deciding that The Bad Character Among The Good Characters is Dean. I'm far less critical of Sam or Cas than I'll ever be of fandom’s need to make everything about keeping score of who did the most wrong stuff. It can be fun to shitpost about it to piss of crits, but the actual point of the story isn't to figure out which one did the most bad things and "hold them accountable".

[chippedshake]

I'm fine

Darry is fine. He swears he's fine. Never been better.

Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. But he is fine. He really is.

Sure, he's juggling gaining custody over his brothers with finding out how much to pay for two coffins with considering getting a second job with figuring out how the fuck one pays one's bills with actually being a guardian for his brothers with grieving for his parents, who disappeared with a knock on his door from the police.

But he's fine. He really is.

But I realize that the worst is to come when the storm is gone

And even if he's not fine – which he is –, it's not like he can afford to complain right now because he's facing a steep uphill climb with no help. If he admits that he's not okay now, then what is he going to do for the next four years?

Or after that, when he has to scrape together enough money for Pony to go to college somehow?

He has to be fine now. He has to be. Because if he's not, there's no hope for what comes next.

And I try to recognize that it's all in my head now

Darry isn't fine.

But that's okay. That's fine because everything is actually fine but it's just his head playing tricks on him and making him think everything isn't fine when it is fine.

Because everything is fine.

He's just always made a big deal out of nothing, like when his friends would prank him sometimes in school. It was never that bad, he just liked to catastrophise.

Classic Darry, making a mountain out of a molehill.

Because. Everything. Is. Fine.

Or it will be. Even if it kills him.

But lately I've been feeling tired but I can't sleep

Darry turns over again, dragging his sheets along with him.

Against his better instincts, he checks the clock on his wall.

Two AM.

He sighs. It's not happening tonight. He's been trying for two hours and needs to be up in three.

May as well be productive.

He groans as he sits up. He'll leave the bed unmade a while longer just in case he gets tired enough to go back to sleep, because he definitely won't get back in if it's made.

He stifles a yawn as he cracks Sodapop and Ponyboy's door open. They're fast asleep, Soda's arm around Pony. Darry lets himself breathe a sigh of relief.

They're okay. They're fine.

His eyes struggle to stay open as he sweeps the floor. He can feel his eyebags growing as he scrubs the kitchen counters. Falling asleep standing up is seeming like a genuine possibility by the time he starts mopping.

It's three thirty when he goes back to sleep.

My head is running miles but I can't breathe

Soda's thinking about dropping out. Soda's thinking about dropping out. He's thinking about dropping out because Darry's failed.

Failed at keeping his brothers safe, at maintaining their childhood as best he could with the neighbourhood they live in. Because now Soda is going to have to worry about bills and paychecks and bosses.

He can feel his breathing getting faster but he can't get it to stop.

And he's not a fit guardian is he? He can hardly keep them all under control on a good day and he can't keep Soda in school and Ponyboy's always mad at him and Soda'a dropping out–

Are these grounds for the State to take them away? Of course they are, everything is. Any step out of line, any tiny mistake (Darry makes so many he doesn't understand how he's been allowed to keep his brothers for so long), it's all grounds to take his brother away.

Oh, God, he can't breathe, he can't breathe

Will I ever get my mind under control?

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

Like his mom always did.

In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

I don't know

'Cause I'm in the eye of the storm

Most people feel calm when they reach the eye of the storm. It has the lowest pressures in the whole storm, and it seems like you've escaped.

It seems like everything's back to normal.

Like Ponyboy still likes books just because he likes them. Like Dally's still got someone to trust. Like Soda still lets himself be a kid. Like Two-Bit just drinks for fun sometimes. Like Johnny can trust him as much as he trusted Darry's parents.

Only Darry knows better. He knows what's on the other side of the eye. He knows the storm goes on.

That Ponyboy's reading to escape reality. That Dally’s hardened back to how he was when he arrived. That Soda knows they can't make do just with Darry's paycheck. That Two-Bit's become an alcoholic. That he's never bothered to form a bond with Johnny in the past and he still seems scared of him.

And I've never been here before

Darry used to think he was stressed.

When he got a bad grade on his physics final in junior year and thought all his hopes for college were crushed unless he doubled down during senior year.

When he realised he didn’t like his girlfriend like he was supposed to, and he hadn’t liked any of his girlfriends like he was supposed to. And he hadn’t liked anyone That Way and he was at prom and had to dance with his girlfriend and felt like he was failing her constantly.

When they were in second place towards the end of the football league and they needed to win this game or it would've all been for nothing.

He scoffs at the memories of what his oh-so-stressful life used to look like. What wouldn't he give for that to be his greatest worry?

All of my thoughts screaming loud, saying that I'll never make it out

When Darry looks at the kitchen, he sees all the meals he needs to make. The table is just its short leg that needs fixing. The mailbox is just the bills.

When Darry looks at Pony and Soda, he can hardly see his little brothers anymore. He sees two boys who need clothes and food and a reminder to bring a blade wherever they're going.

He loves them, too, but that comes second.

You can't love a dead body, or a boy being kept by the State fifteen miles away.

'Cause I'm falling deeper and deeper into my head

"Darry?"

Darry snaps out of his thoughts. Soda and Pony are looking at him worriedly. He's not even sure who said his name.

"Yeah?"

Soda's brow furrows. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Soda, don't worry about it."

His half-hearted reassurance doesn’t seem to comfort either of them, but they carry on with their conversation.

Darry tries to think of what they were talking about so he can follow the conversation, but he can't remember anything after he started cooking.

And I'm scared that I can't see the light at the end

Darry stays on autopilot until he collapses into his bed.

All he wants is for sleep to take him. He just wants his head to slow down for once.

But of course it won’t.

It starts with the usual: mental math he loses track of but that helps him feel in control of everything. Calculating his paycheck and Soda's and the bills and Pony's college savings account and groceries and Darry's own savings account.

Then that turns into worrying about Pony at school: whether Socs give him any trouble, whether he's doing alright in his classes (because if anyone knows that grades don't mean anything, it's the boy that sold essays throughout his junior and senior year to pay for college), what classes are his favourite (because Darry doesn't talk to him enough to know).

What classes he'll choose when he gets electives.

What he'll major in.

And then Darry's thinking about what he'll be doing when Ponyboy's in college (because Ponyboy's getting out if it's the last thing Darry does) and he's realising that he has no idea.

There's no future for him after his brothers leave.

He used to imagine what his life would be like once he gathered the money for college. If he tries hard enough, he might be able to remember what it was like to hope.

But then he threw away all his dreams, all the possibilities of somehow getting out, and he doesn’t know how to find them again.

I'm in the eye, I'm in the eye of the storm

[tubbytarchia]

We should support artists and help them recognize their worth but I'm honestly so tired of "Your colored and shaded art is worth more than 10 bucks" and "these prices are too low" etc. Kind of maddening to me that it's treated like a choice when most artists will never have the reach to charge "fairly" for their art on a consistent basis. This isn't a jab at anyone because most people saying this are well meaning and maybe accidentally tonedeaf at worst, but the only choice some people have is either earn a little bit of money or earn no money at all. Idk surely there's other ways to be supportive or tell someone that their art is worthwhile without insisting that they raise their prices. Where and what is the advice once the prices ARE raised as suggested and yet no money is made? Would the advice be to put prices back down? To just be persistent and be better at advertising yourself?

When I started out, I tried to price "fairly", with and without advice from fellow artists (who all suggested prices that never sold) and then just decreased those prices like 5 times because no one would commission me. I wasn't upset when an anon told me "I was surprised to see the prices!", but I am upset about all the "these prices seem too low..." I got years ago in retrospect. When I voiced that I couldn't charge any higher because otherwise I wouldn't get paid, I was often dismissed. And I couldn't help but note that by all the people who got commissioned at least regularly with good pay

I'm not personally too upset about my own commissioning situation anymore, I used to be, but after so many mental breakdowns of trying to earn any money that justified the time I spent on my art and failing miserably, I accepted that it just isn't even for me. (This is why I wouldn't ever want to work with a CC either lol I would kms. As a one-off maybe). I still offer it but with a lot of leniency towards myself, which I think warrants lower pricing and I'm not upset about it. Because who would've guessed, that doing a hobby you love as a line of work with inherent new pressures isn't always going to make you happy and can ruin the hobby for you instead! Wild.

My personal commission meltdown journey under cut, because I want to and I think it'll make me feel better

My awesome commission meltdown happened about a year ago, but boy I have been trudging for awhile. Maybe 5 or 6 years ago now, I used to have a friend, my former best friend, who struck gold. They got lucky. Their art was also fantastic, but ultimately they got lucky, because good art in itself never guarantees that you can earn buck from it. They created a closed species that quickly became very popular to the point that they could draw one design on a whim and easily get 50EUR minimum out of it. That's not even commission work, to get paid well for art that YOU want to make is an absolute dream but even less reliable for most artists than commission work. I created multiple species too with like 0.20EUR prices and followed all the advice my friend gave me. I advertised myself like hell which is something I've continued to do until a year ago with a 100% failure rate. For funsies, some specimens of the species I attempted to sell (I very much detached from my usual preferred monster designs too to try and have wider appeal and gimmicks)

(If anyone wants to "adopt" any Rosebuds (1st rose-like species) or Dumlins (2nd bird-like species) for free then you're very welcome to, I can send the full sheets lol. Only one of them ever got adopted. I'm over it but hey just in case there are any adoptable fanatics in here)

After a few years I think I gave up, didn't earn a dollar with any of them and moved over to commissions because that's way easier to get money for anyway, I thought. And I've done many commissions by now but with most costing 5-20EUR. Very few outliers got any tips (usually from friends) and very few people were willing to pay more to begin with. I think I've done just 2 artwork that I was paid 50 for and those are the only comms I've done above 20EUR, and I count myself very lucky for ever even getting that opportunity. Here's some examples of commissions I've done for 20 bucks or less

(To be clear, I'm not upset about any of these. Jk lol I'm forever bothered by one of them. The 1st one but I will spare the details)

I tried so desperately to advertise myself on Twitter, on Tumblr, on DA, on Reddit, on Discord servers... in the end I got like one commission that wasn't just from a friend or acquaintance , and I'm willing to bet at least a few "friend" commissions I've done were out of pity, and I wouldn't blame them because I was a desperate little teenager. I went through a whole furry arc where I went out of my way to draw furry art because everyone knows furries got the money. I was very open to nsfw art too for very low prices to help me build my portfolio further, and I was again full-throttle advertising every which way I knew how, trying to reach out there, and gained nothing for it

Meanwhile, I just felt like doing this little animation. This wretched thing. This fucking. This little piece of work that came from a place of love and now I want to cry thinking about what this thing did to me

This is a niche Yugioh monster that I animated dancing. Somehow, it got out of the Yugioh circle and popped the fuck off majorly on twitter. Nobody knew what the hell this thing is but they liked it. This shit got reposted on Tiktok, on Reddit, probably many other sites too with zero credit back to me, naturally, with hundreds of thousands of views, possibly millions, I would check if I could still find any of them. So that sucked but guess what else happened? Like 5 people DMed me about commissioning animation work from me. TO THIS DAY despite my twitter being now deleted, people every so often reach out to me about this. And because there was DEMAND I figured, I can ask fair prices. But I'd never been able to before so I still undersold myself A LOT. Fully fledged animation is hard goddamn work. But I accepted 3 commissions, and I made progress on all of them, and then I deleted my twitter. I left all of those people in the dark (I never took any of their money though!!! I never ask for money until my work is completed unless you buy through Kofi)

I just realized how fucking miserable it all made me and how much I didn't want to do this and what a piss poor motivator money is for me to do art for, in the comfort of my home. I love money, I sure would love to have more of it and not have to rely on minimum wage jobs that I dislike but god, all of that made me so deeply upset and with all those years of failure, I suddenly struck gold like my friend had all those years back, and I had so many people wanting to give me money for my work, and it felt like a fucking joke. I was honestly just so peeved and pissed off that this is what it took, and had a meltdown over it and I was also just in the worst place of my life at the time that I've never truly recovered from. All of this just added to how much I wished to be eaten by a wild animal on a daily basis at the time

I don't feel like I got ANYTHING out of all that. The money I got absolutely didn't justify the effort and time I put into commissions and all my self advertising and portfolio building ventures were a waste of time too. The only thing I've taken away from it is that I don't want to repeat that and I will probably never want to work a job doing art or animation even if it could pay more than minimum wage crap. My former friend has a successful Patreon, I've encountered dubs of their comics with millions of views on various platforms, their species even got ripped off by someone who just turned their species nsfw, lol. And I draw minecraft men kissing

I'm not happy but I'm not upset about it anymore, even if I still get majorly peeved by some artists who underplay their immense success whilst others are begging for crumbs. (Again they usually mean well but sometimes I do find these people genuinely dislikeable. Anyway). In a perfect world, artists wouldn't have to work their asses of to get grocery money and be so reliant on luck to pop off once and then never have to worry about it again. I'm sad this is what it took for me to realize it's not even for me, after all these years of negligible profit, and I'm sad I was ever led to believe that getting fair pay was possible without all the work I put into trying to get my art out there, only to eventually succeed via pure luck and then not earning a penny from it anyway. Please support and continue to support small artists. If you can, please tip them too. Share and support their work in other ways if you can't or don't want to pay!

With all that said though, I appreciate anyone who has commissioned me during my time in the MCYT fandom, that means so much to me that you like my art that much. And I'm really sorry for the few people I ended up refunding because I didn't feel up to their requests - that's what I mean by the leniency I give myself. If it ever comes close to stressing me out again, I'll just give it up in favor of my mental health haha. And I hope you guys understand. Thank you as well for anyone who's bought my MCYT merch, you are so awesome and I'm actually omw to earning some profit from it eventually which has made me happier than any other art related work I've done

and with THAT said, man NONE of you have used discounts that I've hidden in my text posts previously..!! I reinforce though that regardless, I'm open to haggling if you're tighter on money but want to get a little something. I love you regardless though and thanks for listening to my shit ted talk

[mrsbsmooth]

I don't know if this is a safe space for me to share my opinion on S8 but I disagree with your take on WLW relationships in S8. As someone who is exclusively WLW, I've got to say that Season 8 is the worst season that I have ever played. It's not worth it. I regret every second that I have spent on it. I wish I never played it. I feel like I have wasted my time. Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me feel physically sick. If you're bi, you're automatically locked out of the WLW route and Bea dances for Claudia instead. If you're doing a WLW route, the two female LIs are merged together. There are only two female LIs and they're hidden behind a gem wall. You can't couple up with them until the final week. The male characters are forced on MC no matter how many times you reject them. Being LGBT is treated like a fun side mission. It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode and the other characters will keep pushing the OG guy and CA guy on you either way. If you're romancing a girl, you're made to feel like a cheater. The WLW routes in S8 are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. They are not written to be the main course. The S8 WLW routes  are something to play around with but not something to commit to. S5 was no fun but at least we could be in an unofficial relationship with Dana and we could choose to befriend Alfie. We could couple up with Vicky in S7. S8 is like S6 but somehow even worse. The openly homophobic and racist comments that I have seen some straight players make about Bea and Hari are only making it harder to feel accepted. What hurts the most is that MC was a bombshell and she was not coupled up with her OG LI before the Casa. They could have let us pick a female LI the moment MC walked into the Villa. There was no better way to justify a WLW main route. The way they waste Luna and Felicity is unbelievable. I wouldn't recommend S8 to anyone who isn't super into the male LIs

Hi lovely, of course!! Always happy to hear a different opinion as long as they're respectfully put, which yours absolutely is, and as long as you don't mind me disagreeing back!

[Note: Sarah's just pointed out to me that you asked for a safe space and my response doesn't really do that and just disagrees with you. She's right, and I apologise for not being clearer about the fact I was planning to do so when I hit post. But you are always welcome to share your opinion here. I can't guarantee a safe space, but I can guarantee an open mind.] Because I do genuinely believe that the WLW routes in S8 are better than they have been previously.

I'm not going to be addressing homophobic and racist comments about Bea and Hari. My advice for those? Stay the hell off Reddit. I'm not getting into the way this fandom talks about race, especially for Asian islanders. I just want to talk about the WLW routes as that was the main point of your ask.

I want to make sure I've acknowledged and responded to everything you said, so please see below.

[This got long AF. TL;DR at the end.]

Locked out of routes, and Male LIs being forced on you

This isn't new to this season, and in my opinion it's been done dramatically better than previous seasons. I've played all of them, and almost every single season holds the female LI back until the end. Marisol, Elisa, Najuma, Angie, Dana, Lulu, Bella, Chloe, Flo, Bonnie, I don't think you could couple up with a single one of them until the final recoupling. The only exceptions were S1 and S3, I think? I believe you could get with Talia slightly earlier (and have Sammi come in later as a LI for the guy who otherwise would be dumped), and AJ/Yasmin you could couple up with and make Tai and Ciaran get together. But that's only 2 seasons from 8.

(Note: I see you said you could couple up with Vicky in S7, and I'll be honest, I barely played S7 as I found the writing itself extremely lacklustre. So I'll have to take your word for it that they somehow made that work.)

I get that it's frustrating to be separated from a female LI until late game. It's a sentiment I've heard every single season since I started playing alongside the releases. But realistically, this is how the game is structured. Love Island, as a premise, is based on heterosexual relationships. Pairing off and being in heterosexual couples, etc. Same as something like 'the Bachelor'. Two female contestants could be together, sure. But that's not how the show is structured. The only real solutions have been in S1 and S3, both of which I've already mentioned. I'd love to see more MLM couples made canon, or creative ways of letting us couple with women earlier, but I don't think there's one simple solution. This particular show is aimed at het couples. As unfair as it may seem, that's how the game is structured. (Crossing my fingers for canon MLM couples. PLEASE!)

I also disagree that WLW routes are written to be a bonus thing for bi women to do once they finish the good routes. Claudia's route has been a main route since day one in the villa. The fact that you can only have a relationship with either Theo OR Claudia means they intended from the very beginning to have whichever one of that couple you choose be the slow burn route- the route that you can't get on until the very end.

To say that 'Watching Claudia grind on Theo made me physically sick'-- Congratulations and welcome to the slowburn route 😂 I feel exactly the same way when Theo REJECTS ME OUTRIGHT and says he's only interested in Claudia, or when Suresh's heartrate gets raised the most by Lulu, or when I finally couple with Jake and he tells me I should pursue Levi. Don't you think the fact that it's had such an impact on you shows how well-written she is as a female LI? Claudia is AMAZING. But she's also bisexual. She's allowed to be torn between a male and a female LI and want to explore relationships with both, and I don't think it's fair to be angry that she's playing out all her options. That just means she's a well-written bisexual character. (Side note may I remind you that you've been able to take Claudia to the hideaway, and sleep in a bed with her, whereas Theo girls were only able to KISS the dude for the first time within the last week!!!! 😭) I think the only canonical lesbian routes are Angie from S4 and A.J. from S3. But even so, they're both questioning while in-villa and only come out either towards the end or in the post-season. You can watch AJ's route on Youtube if you didn't get a chance to play. Also, you're not locked out of the WLW route if you're bi/into men. Only if you're interested in Theo specifically. This is definitely somewhere they could improve-- I wanted Theo and Claudia, but eventually went back to play a straight route for Theo. However, I DESPERATELY wanted to flirt with Bea. It would've been wonderful if we'd been able to flirt with her separately. (I think I did get this option, but I believe it may have been a glitch). An option early in the game when the female LI asks you could be:

Yes, I'm into you!

No, I'm not into you, but I might be into other women

No, I'm not into women.

The Female LIs are merging together

Welcome to Love Island the Game by Fusebox games, where all the love interests merge and the personalities don't matter. You're not alone here, and it's not NEARLY as bad as previous seasons. Watch Najuma, Bruno, and JAMES have exactly the same dialogue in S4 despite being wildly different personalities. Watch Lewie, Jamal and Ryan be completely interchangeable. This isn't exclusive to WLW routes.

The female LIs are hidden behind a gem wall.

Again, this is the same for everyone, even players on a straight route. FB are greedy.

Being LGBT is treated like a side mission

It's something you're only allowed to do behind closed doors. You can pay to make out with a girl in every episode

This is hard. I get why you feel like this, anon, I really do. But I genuinely do think that this is the devs trying to give you something. They know it's frustrating to have to wait so long to couple with a female LI, so they try and give you bonus opportunities along the way to connect with your love interest. Almost every single smut scene written in the scripts has a female alternative. Again, I'm not saying that it's perfect, but having looked at and manipulated the scripts for four seasons now, I can absolutely assure you that this has not always been the case. They ARE improving and giving you more opportunities to spend time with your female LI than you had in previous seasons.

TL;DR

I'm not saying S8 is a perfect season for WLW routes.

The part I'm disagreeing with is where you said it's the worst season.

I absolutely disagree with that. There are far worse seasons. Even the golden child Season 2 didn't let you couple up with a woman until right at the end, watching her graft and grind on everyone BUT you. We also don't even know for sure that we can't couple up with a girl until the last week. The game's still being released. (I won't be surprised if that's the case though.)

I think Claudia and Bea are EXCELLENT female love interests in comparison with what we've had previously. They're both beautiful, they have unique personalities, they have very different routes (Claudia's confused between you and Theo, Bea's your bestie to lover and she's got terrible taste in men, dear god please save her).

I understand WANTING more WLW routes, but from a development point of view, there are simply not enough opportunities in the real-life structure of LITG to have fully blown out WLW routes. And even if they were, FB Games are not going to be financially motivated to do so. Their main customer base ($$$) is pursing a het route, so that’s who they’re creating for. They can't even get through the hetero routes without the characters merging personalities. There are other games doing this well, including fan-made games, which I'd recommend checking out. I don't have the link handy to the game pages, but check out @thatwheelchairchick, I believe she's working on an alternative game?

Anyway, I hope that clarifies my position on why I think they're worth playing. Sorry that it turned into an essay.

[crimswnred]

I've just gotten back home from work so I'm a little late to the party, however...

LITG SEASON 8: TEMPTING FATE — VOLUME 2: thoughts, concerns and prayers

first of all yesss more hair booooo paywall, fusebox get it together??? (at least they are pretty but again that's the bare minimum)

anyway, here's my girl with her new hair

why do all of the girls' nightwear look like I'm on a strip club and they're asking me if I want something to drink

it's so over for you Theo

honestly she's too good for him anyway

okay kiss challenge!!!! let me snog everyone

I don't want any more of that "peck" crap we want FULL ON SNOGS, TONGUE AND CHAOS

Jin: "Nap, then results?" Hamish would be so proud of him

okay, so you rate me EIGHT just so I feel like I have to pay to have one extra kiss, your game is a dirty as ever Fusebox

date time!!!! going with Jin ❤️

LMAO Jack is kinda funny

so sad to see a baddie doing too much to keep a man in love island 💔 Luna I'm so sorry you didn't deserve it your only crime was being coupled up with the one guy I want

oh. so about the terrace scene...

first of all, super sweet gem scene. it seemed like a super important one for it to be a gem scene though. so idk I'm a bit lost.

Jin is a walking red flag 😭 this boy is soooo gonna flip on me when the next hot girl shows up!! but let's enjoy the ride

and Luna... girl... was it ever that serious?

the award for worst outfit design goes to 👇

and the one for BEST outfit design goes to 👇

like wow wowza mmmhmm yeah! this man is hot hot HOT 🔥🔥🔥

I had to kiss him HE IS SO FINEEEEEEEEEEE

oh, Jack is kinda sweet... if he looked more like Lewie/Alex he would be favourite boy of the season for sureeee

keep the compliments coming, darling

I had to kiss him too. you know, to be polite.

but it was just a peck, tho

okay, NOW JIN!!!

having a spicy conversation with the guy I want to fuck and his currently girl isn't how I planned to spend my afternoon but here we go

"You're adventurous. You're fun to be around. And you'd make every sight even more beautiful", "Okay. Where's the punch line?", "There isn't one :)" OKAY GAG ME WITH THE WRITING

FUNNY BOY WHO'S A HISYORY NERD? OH OKAY!!!! BIG T??? NO IT'S BIG J!!!!!! JIMOTHY!!!

lmao Sophie mixing the boys up she's so me

Claudia is a real one let me tell you that

she's nice, she doesn't force herself upon us, she's polite, she give us all the tea, and she even help us to graft on the boys behind their girls' backs. like, THAT'S MY GIRL

and if Theo doesn't step up she will DEFINITELY be mine

TIME TO PICK MY BOY LET'S GOOOOOOOO

so sad to see Luna go, I really like her :/

lmao???????????

I TAKE BACK EVERY GOOD THING I SAID ABOUT JACK WTFFFF 😭😭😭😭

he was so out of pocket ?? what's your deal man, are you jealous I picked Jin instead of you? we kissed ONCE. be sooooooooo for real rn

okay Sophie you can join your boy in this bullshit he still cheated on you with me when you weren't looking (and he probably would do it again)

no. I won't forgive you?? you were basically calling me a whore back then and now you are SORRY? don't say something you'll regret later that's not cute.

and he's supposed to be serious?

anyway, stressful night over. time to go to bed with my babygirl Jin

BITS BITS BITS BITS

29 gems to go all the way? what is this?

they could've make the scene a little longer but they have gotten way better ever since the writers dropped the word crescendo

MR TYLER WHO ARE YOU?

still not 100% sure if I'm going with Jin or Oakley but I'm leaning towards Jin, I'm not gonna lie 😁 I did some stuff that will fuck me over on movie night if fusebox finally learnt how to code (which they prolly didn't so I guess I'm safe)

I really enjoyed this episode except for the part when Jack and Sophie went full on villain mode but if the narrative made sense all of the time it wouldn't be LITG, right?

anyway, let's see what this Tyler guy is about... see you all next week 🫶

[legandairy-horror]

Initial thoughts after Completing Canto 7. Spoilers below the cut

For where Id place Canto 7 Id say somewhere around Canto 5, not sure if it's above or below. I know there was no way it was going to top Canto 6, something just had to give. Its just a bit of a shame that its this much of a drop yknow? Not to say it's bad yknow, cause even Canto 2 I still consider alright.

Easily the worst dungeon in the game. Only 1 floor and it's short as hell. The fights range from absolute jobbers to "Spam E.G.O and Pray" with absolutely no in-between.

In Order: Teddy Bear was interesting if a bit bland, mostly just need to pay attention to status effects and you're good. Lasso was threatening with his Rupture until you realize that's all he does. I just kinda clashed with him for 20~ish minutes until he died.

Camille/Peri is funny as shit in a fucked up kinda way for a number of reasons. 1) the fact that they're death is handled in such a lazze-faire way. Not only is it such a piss easy fight, but like they don't even get named in their fight nor does Peri get a new talk-sprite, they're just "corroded Zwei/Cinq Fixer". 2) The fact that it's supposed to be our stand in for the 400-Roses fight, so you just know that they're going to make a big deal when it inevitably appears in RR5. Like I know exactly what you're planning PM, you can't trick me. 3) The fact that this piss easy fight is immediately followed up with 3 of the most bullshit fights in the game is funny as shit.

Pequod Trio: Vampire Edition, while a funny name isn't quite accurate. While that fight was nonsense by design this fight was nonsense in a very "Lobotomy Corp" kinda way where it just throws 3 bosses at you and says "good luck fucko". Yeah they're at like half-health but that still doesn't stop Dulcinae's "inflict 50 Bleed and 20 Bleed count" shtick from being Bullshit.

Sancho was the most E.G.O spam fight I've ever E.G.O spammed which is saying a lot. Made all the worse by certain mechanics and a few unfortunate rolls meaning that she was at Max SP for basically half the fight. I love the cutscenes and all the character development from the other sinners but fuck me I burned through All my Lust and Sloth on that fight alone.

Lastly, Mancha Quixote Might just be the worst fight in the game. Like its insane that they said "what if we took all of Dulcinae's problems and made them all 10x worse". Like the only reason I made it through that was because of Solo Cinq Don, Fluid Sac, and Luck. I can say a lot more about *why* his fight and these guaranteed damage mechanics don't work but for now I'll just say that chain battles just do not have enough incentive to justify this kind of encounter design. As a character the man's fairly interesting cause you can tell his heart is in the right place but his naivety meant that his plans were always gonna fall apart in the face of reality. Also I'm curious if P Corp is gonna bring him back as like a cyborg or something cause unless Sanson pulls double Duty I have no idea who Don's N Corp counterpart is gonna be.

To wrap this up: To me the most interesting parts of the Canto are all the lore implications and, as mean as this is gonna sound, all the character moments from all the *other* sinners. I think they finally managed to top "Break from your Birdcage" as the best End-of-Canto Moment, just full-stop. Otherwise yeah. Keep on Cooking PM

[dceuheadcanons]

I've been asked to talk more about my "Bruce Wayne has OSDD-1B" post, so I will be doing just that!! I will elaborate on further details about each headmate in the future. Feel free to see my last post on this if you have not already.

So far I've noticed that there are at least five headmates. Batman, B, Brucie, Bruce Wayne, and Mr Wayne.

Batman started forming the night his parents were shot, and his memory also starts there. He cannot remember his childhood pre-ten. He's a protector of sorts, but he also holds the rage. He's the most intelligent of the bunch, what with being the "World's Greatest Detective" and all. He is slow to trust people, but he believes that there is good in everyone. That is why he does not kill. Though that wasn't originally the case, he saw the worst in everyone for a decade or so, his viewpoint changed when he took in Nightwing. Every part of him has patrolled as Batman, the cowl belonging to them all partially because of his obliviousness towards his disorder, but he is the one made to be Batman.

B is the father. He formed for the singular purpose of being a parent. None of the others were prepared for such a task. He has great care for his children, despite failing in places due to the awful example his own father set. He would kill for any one of them. He was the one that endeavoured to kill The Joker when Red Hood was murdered. He doesn't take kindly to anyone he loves being harmed.

Brucie is the playboy. Everyone knows that. He doesn't take much seriously, he flirts with everyone (of appropriate age) that he meets, he does drugs, and he's an alcoholic. But he's the one that's been around the "longest". He remembers his entire childhood. He deals with his grief and trauma with hypersexuality and substance abuse. He's the least honest of the bunch and absolutely hates people seeing him as sad or weak. But he commonly accompanies Batman on patrols. He's good with words and good with people, able to manipulate and redirect effortlessly. He's the one that goes on out-of-costume intel missions. He's the one fucking all his rogues! He has the lowest iq of the bunch, but he's still considered a genius by his score.

Bruce Wayne is the child. The child that "died in the alleyway with his parents". In systems, these are commonly called littles. They're used to cope with high stress situations, but he is never usually left alone. If left alone he's quiet, flinches at loud noises, distrusts adults, and will be willing to beat the shit out of anyone that disrespects his father's name. If you do manage to get him to trust you, he will talk about things that he liked in childhood. Pokémon, Sonic Underground, classical literature, etc. He was born in the 90s in my AU, similar to the newest movie. I will roughly outline my timeline in another post.

Mr Wayne is the business man. He does not respond to Bruce, as he both sees himself as above others and ISN'T Bruce. He's the only introject, and he's an introject of Thomas Wayne. He isn't mean or entirely self centered. He makes sure the employees of his company and all of the companies he owns are treated well. He pays for employees' family's education, rent, food, whatever they need. He has a LOT of money and he knows that as long as he keeps his businessess going and his employees happy, he won't ever go bankrupt. He uses that to help whoever he can, he donates large sums to charities, etc. He's commonly around at the same time Brucie is. He isn't allowed to be around at the same time Bruce Wayne (the little/child) is, though, due to the fact that their real father was abusive. He'd scare the kid.

[a-really-good-lawyer-abandoned]

Something I never see people talk about (which could be because I simply haven't come across it) is how rough forming a new hyperfixation can be, especially a core hyperfixation.

I've loved Star Trek for years. But for whatever reason, it wasn't until a couple years ago that something in my brain *clicked* and it became a new core hyperfixation.

In some ways it was better than past such hyperfixations because there is so much Star Trek out there to consume, between shows and films and then the fandom content because this fandom has been alive and well for over 50 years, gave birth to modern fandom.

But that didn't change the fact that, for the ensuing six months, it consumed my life - and not in the fun, tongue-in-cheek way we say 'this fandom consumes my life', like semi-hyperbole.

When I say it consumed my life, I mean it was near non-stop hyperfocus for months.

My apartment was constantly a mess, same as my sense of time. My sleep schedule was constantly erratic. I was often dehydrated, had frequent headaches, often found myself shaking from all the adrenaline surges. I dropped fifteen pounds almost without noticing (weight I shouldn't have dropped).

I was always drained, always disoriented, always distracted. It didn't feel good. Really, it felt distinctly bad, and I felt completely out of control to make it stop. If I made myself ignore the media and fic and fan art and all of that, it just meant I sank into myself, got lost in my head for hours on end.

After the first two months it began to gradually, slowly ease up, and when I hit around six months it stopped feeling like I was being dragged along and started to feel the way I want when it comes to hyperfixations - it was fun, mood-boosting. Engaging with it improved my mental health, instead of causing it, along with my physical health, to deteriorate.

That was probably the worst 'epsiode' I've had, but I've had them several times. The one when I developed the Daredevil hyperfixation thankfully lasted only two months, same as when it was FMA:B and BBC Merlin, and...three months, I think, for Star Wars? The one that got closest was Smallville, my first fandom hyperfixation, though I imagine some of that had to do with it coming out when I first had regular internet access. That one was maybe four or five months, and was dragged out by the fact that I was in high school so I was 'forced' away from it all by the anxiety of college applications and AP exams and all that fun stuff.

I love having these things. They've been good for me, for my emotional welfare - have helped me survive so much. I never regret that initial rough aspect, not that I've ever had the power to do things differently.

But it is rough, and one of the aspects of neurodivergence I've had the most trouble explaining to neurotypical people. They see it as simple obsession or addiction, something that I fell into and need to take steps to pull myself out of, rather than something that my brain just does at the drop of a hat and which won't stop until I go through that process. Trying not to, trying to mitigate it, just ends up dragging that process out. It can't be reduced or bypassed. It's just part of how my brain works.

And people trying to interfere with that, to 'fix' that by making me pay attention to other things, giving me tasks, whatever it may be - it does nothing to change it. If anything, it makes the whole thing much more destabalizing, in ways that can have major consequences for my state of mind, and I've had the experiences to prove it.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I just...wanted to put it out there. I think there can be shame attached to this reality - shame I've felt, and which I've come to recognize originates from neurotypical social expectations and a lack of understanding.

If this is something you've dealt with and have been shamed for, I hope this post can give you some comfort. It isn't a failing, isn't deviant, isn't indulgent. It just is, and you aren't bad or broken or weak because of it.

[verybigvag]

Harmony

Teenage mutant ninja turtles

Summery

After everything that happened; even if they are no longer enemies, there are unresolved issues lingering in the air between them. Little did Karai and April know this conversation was inevitable. It's what they needed.

This would theoretically take place after season 4, ep. 16: Broken Foot and before ep. 17: The Insecta Trifecta.

This is my first fic ever and I'm pretty nervous about it as I've wanted to write fics for years but this is now me taking the first step. To anyone who happens to read this, I hope y'all enjoyed it. I would like to do more fics going forward but I can't say they'll be immediate though. Also I would like to get into other fandoms besides TMNT. Anyway, thanks again if you read this, I hope to be back here again soon.

Posted on my AO3, feel free to subscribe to me there! 2k+ words

~

“Do you remember when we first met?”

Karai disrupted the tense silence like a rock shattering glass. There was a soft ringing in April's ears as the words echoed, her body could only stiffen awkwardly. She knew the brevity of speech would come to an end, but the words chosen almost seemed unwarranted… Almost.

April looked off to the distant sky line of towers and skyscrapers as she sat on the concrete edge. Initially unable to find the intent to face karai, but when the redhead finally forced herself to look over her shoulder, the fellow Kunoichi gazed to the right of them; unwilling to make eye contact.

“uhh, why do you ask?” When finally replying back, she made sure her tone was as simple as possible.

Even though it happened almost a long time ago, negative feelings were heavily associated with their first interaction. April always told herself she'd grown past it, Learned from it (which was true of course) she remained resentful; but worst of all, scared of the new enemy. Now with more than just the Kraang to worry about, splinter decided it would be best for April to remain in the sewers for her protection. It wasn't what she wanted but it was the best way to protect her. She’d spent so many nights, training sessions and moments alone, internally questioning her defensive abilities, how it wasn't enough and she hated it.

The quietness rang longer than expected, but finally a deep breath broke free from karai. “I never… apologized for that.”

That wasn't too bad of a start, it was better than nothing after all and it definitely had April paying attention now.

“I was so focused on my vendetta, I never thought of-” it was like the words were caught in her throat.

“I never thought how wrong I could've been but to find out I was raised with a lie like that.”

“You mean about your mother…”

The words reigned with sympathy, enough for Karai to finally look back at her and nod.

“Yeah.” It was the truth after all. Both shared a similar pain in their gut.

Neither knew where to go from here. April had given in to the strain on her neck and faced back forward, Leaving karai no choice but to take the first step forward. It was only a few short feet needed to make it at the ledge and awkwardly setting herself down right beside April; both immediately tensing at the now occupied space.

Who knows why Leonardo would set these two on patrol together, one would think he'd be more interested in partnering himself with Karai but it really doesn't matter now.

They weren't on bad terms, good might as well a fine word at best. Just acquainted if anything. Weird isn't enough to describe the allyship given the familial relation karai had with the turtles, Splinter and to an extent, April. Realistically a stranger shouldn't know the nuanced details of what life was like before what became of Karai, yet April did. Now they're alone.sitting on this cold ledge together, contemplating the day at murakami's shop.

“You know…It's not your fault,” April started.

It's almost like she deflated; ready for the wind to drag her away, but she persisted.

“s-some things are just beyond our control.”

Giving comfort to others was something April didn't do much, especially people she didn't know but what else was there to be said, especially now?

Karai could only give April a questioning look, hazel eyes scanning the reluctant face.

“I see…” Everything was still as she soaked up the words, It sounded like something splinter might say. Just the thought of him made her smile.

Life is strange like that. To think of the events that lead to our current point in time, even if we weren't involved directly.

“I suppose you're right.” Karai sighed “To be honest, I wish I had more control of things.”

“...me too.”

While there wasn't much said, it felt nice for both of them to know they weren't alone in their stances. There was an odd comfort found in it.

April took this moment to lose herself in her memories. Going back again to that day, being chased and cornered. She almost lost, could have been taken but by sheer luck, found an opening. An opportunity to take advantage of. “When you told me those things, I didn't know what to think. I don't think I'm special-”

“Wait, I don’t-”

“Karai let me finish?” The raised tone caught them both off guard. April paused to compose herself, taking a deep exhale before apologizing and continued.

“I didn't want to be special. I just wanted my life to be- in order… I just wanted my dad back. I lost my mother, I didn't wanna lose him too.”

This admission wasn't surprising but Karai's irises dilated for a moment, catching her off guard just like the first time she heard the confusion. That pain of being tumbled down the metro stairs seemed to shroud her once again. Given the situation Karai never held that against April, she was only protecting herself. Like she always had to.

“It's stupid, I know.” An exasperated groan left April's life as she massaged her Temple, believing the self deprecation would alleviate any embarrassment she felt after her statement, but she was thankfully met with reassurance.

“No, it's not.” Karai began, her voice the softest it's ever been.

“You were the center of an alien conspiracy, protected by mutants, trained by a great ninjutsu master, and now a kunoichi for one of the possibly last Ninja Clans left in the 21 century. That's pretty Stupid if you ask me.” only a jaded smile remained on Karai lips.

There’s an angst that settled in the air between that lasted just for a moment.

“Oh, my god you're right.” April’s hand went to trap the erupting chuckle, instead a soft muffle was heard. It was so silly after all. To think of everything that happened, it was a lot for one to deal with. It was a Marvel to think April was still here on earth. To have this moment of peace, and it was so nice. So, so nice.

For once, everything felt so still, so calm. Tranquility seemed like a rarity nowadays.

The turtles, April. Karai. They had more in common than they'll admit. The way a single man who’s obsession burned like a scorch from the sun, to affect them the way it did. Yet nobody ever wanted to talk about it, how could they? It seemed easier to forget and to just live on. The only time it was ever brought up was a private moment between Karai and Michaelangelo.

He was always so thoughtful, open-minded and emotional, and even angry under his chill and bubbly front. It was genuine of course but Mikey couldn't help but let down his guard, especially for his sister.

It was a brisk conversation. There were some things she couldn't answer for him but he understood that. At the end Mikey had given karai and hug so friendly, tight and caring; it almost made her uncomfortable but it was just how he was and she was ok with that. Never had everyone been so overly affectionate with her in such a manner, or affectionate at all for that matter.

It was different being here with April, watching her hold back laughter from a snarky comment. Karai didn't really see the humor in it. Maybe it was just a way to cope, to find the sense of comedy in those unforeseen circumstances. Unfortunately she didn't laugh much, or nothing could make her laugh like how another person would.

“Is it really that funny?” Karai’s head tilted in confusion.

“No…but yes?” The last remaining chuckles seeping out of April, giving her lungs room to breathe.

“I don't know, but I think so anyway.”

“I see.”

As the silenced peck, both only made eye contact and gave reassuring smiles. It gave them each other time to really study the other's face.

Karai finally realized just how large and blue April's eyes were. A deep hue that was uncommon, almost a little strange to her. Especially with bright ginger hair to contrast. Some couldn't help but think of the logistics of it.

“I just have to ask, do you ever think about…this?” Karai motioned her index finger in a circular motion, indicating at April's bust.

“What- y-you mean me?” A now confused April, her tone almost offended.

“No? I mean your whole, red hair and blue eyes…you're the only person I meet with recessive traits like this.”

“R-right…yeah.” It took a few seconds to understand what she meant. Genetics talk wasn't something she ever partook in. Except with the one exemption when Donatello explained how rare her gene combination was. She had already known how uncommon her hair type was but it made her head spin to realize the rarity of her gene combination.

“I've heard that alot.” April fingers began to fidget with each other as one of her thumbs began to rub against the leather of her suit.

“how people would assume both my parents were redheads. My dad was a ginger. My mom is the one with blue eyes…”

Karai’s face had fallen, but it was noticeable for anyone to notice. The way it seemed to be a sore subject for them both. At this moment though, there was a new interest, a curiosity in each other that extended beyond just them.

“What was she like? If you're ok to talk about it I mean.”

“Oh, it's ok…it's just- I never really knew her. I was really young but I have some good memories.” Off-putting ones she'd rather not reveal either, perhaps a story for another day.

“Even if I didn't know a lot, I still love her, I miss her and I feel maybe…it's wrong to feel that way with how little I knew her.” There was a heavy swallow from April, she closed her eye’s to deeply inhale. An attempt to stop the heavy weight in her irises.

“It's not wrong.” Karai interjected, a new sadness in her that she made sure to tame.

“I never knew mine. she di-... She was killed when I was only a few months old.” The correction in words seemed like an unusual thing to correct but it meant something to Karai. A truth she wished for soon but now, there is no need to hide what really happened.

“I can't help but think about her often. Wondering. Wishing for what could've been..” She sighed.

“All I had was a torn picture that Saki let me keep. He'd never really talked about her, he’d just tell that she was ‘the love of his life, and if only she was here with us.’, A truth to cover twisted lies really.”

April had given up trying to remain disciplined and let her eyes water. She's heard the story from splinter and the turtles, the first time even made her shed tears. Initially Yoshi was always brief and vague with his previous life, the implications were always unsettling to say the least. It made sense why he was always so distant, that isn't to say was not inattentive to his sons. Every parent has their issues somewhere, it's a given but truthfully Splinter could have been more emotionally available to his son's and in turn the turtles would have learned this, but it was never something to hold against splinter. Despite appearances, he's still human.

“I'm…I'm really sorry.” The words were crinkled as April attempted to wipe the watery residue from her eyes, even worried how she would be perceived at that moment but she was thankfully met with reassurance.

“It’s ok….well, ok isn't the right word but I think you understand what I mean. I'm sorry too.”

“Thanks.” April nodded back as she got the last of the watery residue from her eyes.

It was an unexpected thing to do. Neither didn't realize how they were now seated closer together; close enough for April to lean her head to rest on Karai's shoulder, sending a shiver up her spine at the physical proximity. She felt conflicted…or did she? It was hard to articulate how she felt about this. It was completely harmless but yet, karai didn't think she deserved this, the comfort.

Her lips pierced together as she thought about what to say, what to do. There wasn't a coherence thought in her head, it started small but now it feels like bees have somehow found their way into Karai's skull, a colony buzzing around as they did so many things at once.

Is this ok? Do I want to feel ok with this? Is April-

“Hey. it's ok."

It's like she knew the perfect time to interrupt Karai's headspace, making her chest deflate. It honestly wasn't hard for April to feel the other's rapid heartbeat. The swarming cloud that only April can feel. She didn't know how to help but the only thing that seemed appropriate was reassurance.

A weight seemed to be lifted from the atmosphere, as if the air became cool, flowing freely and Safe to inhale. Safe.

“Is this o-ok?” April asked quietly, but never lifting her head.

A hum rang from karai, letting her guard down just enough. Heart rate sinking to a steady place, and her head leaned to her right, resting on April's. Their shoulders connected, causing a meek smile to grow on Karai's face.

“Yeah. I think so.”

[midnakoopa]

Jesus Fucking Christ, I have a new most hated character in all of media and it's the principal from Koleda's story missions. Angry rant below.

This cunt oversees an illegal mining operation that sees a hollow overtake a kindergarten, and only feels bad for a moment when he finds out his daughter's caught up in it. The whole time smugly and condescendingly spinning bullshit about how he's a "law-abiding citizen", while ACTIVELY in the presence of the thugs he's hired to do the mining. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, he not only gets off scot-free, but gets a better-paying job. Meanwhile, we're supposed to just be okay with it because "oh wahh if it came out her father was a criminal this child would get bullied :(".

What pisses me off isn't JUST the character, it's the godawful writing, too. Like, we have multiple eyewitnesses to this shit, including the fucker's own daughter, and he just gets off because "the association never got involved uwu". In WHAT fucking world?

I have no memory of ANY time a character/plot has made me actually scream, several times, at length, from being so frustrated.

The worst part is, I thought ZZZ was doing fine, plot-wise. It went three whole chapters without pissing me off, which is a LOT more than I can say about Genshin Impact. The first time I got mad was at the Jane interlude, because hey, there was ONE direction for them to escape to when she threw a smoke bomb. WALK FORWARD. Y'know, like Seth did? Looking back, sure, maybe it's excusable as "they needed to not catch Jane because she's undercover". Fine, whatever.

Then I get to Grace's story and HOOOOLY shit. I was already kinda on the fence about Grace from chapter 2; turns out yeah, I hate this woman's guts. Completely forgets a woman from her school that was on her team, that she was roommates with, and then we get the setup for a plot predictable from the get-go of "oh it's okay that her personality sucks and she disregards other people to a practically misanthropic degree because she's good at machines and she was right about this the whole time; that excuses everything else about her". Boring. Meanwhile the narrative ends up treating the frankly justified Betty like the villain, and honestly it feels like they want us to not feel bad for her at the end.

Which, uh, doesn't that fuckin' suck? Already frustrated after one poorly-written story, then right into another, with the biggest cunt I've ever had the displeasure of seeing.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"How have things been with Adam? I feel like he's always too busy to hang out lately. Like, I get wanting to help with coven work, whatever that means, but surely the coven has other people to help out?"

Despina tried not to look too interested in Theo's response. It was the first day of school and already rumours were flying about Adam and Theo's relationship. The two were skittish around each other, and there was nothing teens loved more than relationship drama. Despina didn't have a relationship of her own to gossip about, so any drama between the two overpowered warlocks was riveting.

"He's just busy," Theo replied, trying to downplay the worry that was written all over his face. "Every relationship has ups and downs or so the adults usually say. I've never been in a relationship with anyone but Adam, so I don't really know. My parents cheated on each other a bunch of times, and they're happy, so I don't know. Adam's just moody. I'm sure that once we start getting homework, he'll go back to growing crystals for projects and picking up weird rocks and being himself again."

"Yeah, I guess so," Despina conceded. "Who knew that relationships were so much work? It's tough not having parents to learn from, and while Aunt Edana tries her best to be there for me and Eero, you know how she is."

Theo groaned at the thought of relying on Edana for any kind of emotional or parental support. The woman hated his guts just for existing, and she made no secret of her hatred for Despina's mother.

"Yeah, I know all too well how she feels about me," Theo sighed. "Given how weird she is with her own kids, you probably dodged a bullet without her really in your life. I don't know how healthy an adult she is to be learning about relationships from. Not that my parents are any better. Adam's lucky that he just has the one half-brother. I have at least two half-siblings that were supposed to stay secret and probably a few more, knowing my parents."

"Being a parent at sixteen has to be hard on a relationship," Despina said charitably. "I'll be sixteen this year and I can't even imagine it. I'm sure that your parents did their best."

Theo raised a skeptical eyebrow at her generous assessment of his parents' parenting style.

"My dad is just as crazy as Edana," he stated. "Adam is terrible, I'm going to get pregnant and die if I even think about sex, and if I don't spend every free weekend working in his stupid restaurant for free, then I'm a bad son. He's the one who had an affair with a married queen consort and the reason why I have a baby brother who I also have to take care of for free when I'm home. My other dad used to be terrified of what I could do and spent half of my life wishing that I was normal and trying to somehow lose my powers. Trust me, having parents isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"My parents made my brother and I to sacrifice to dark magic and didn't give a damn about us," Despina shot back. "I think I win the worst parents contest hands down. You're just too close to see how good you have it with your parents."

"Yeah, fair, I guess," Theo conceded. "Your parents are probably the shittiest parents in our entire school, but mine still suck. They hate Adam for no reason and don't trust me at all. Adam's not going to feel secure in our relationship when they treat us like criminals for being in love."

"Adam? Adam! Pay attention to me! Adam!"

"What do you want, Remy?"

Adam's fingers ran up and down the keys of the school piano, his mind a million miles away. Theo had started a fight this morning over breakfast when he reached for Adam's hand and Adam flinched before he could stop himself. Ever since then, Theo had been pouting and stomping around the campus, looking miserable. Their daily arguments over stupid things were becoming more frequent, and day after day, Adam returned to the piano to release his frustrations. Music soothed his soul when Theo couldn't.

"Get downstairs already!" Remy growled, fighting the urge to just grab her brother behind the ear and drag him with her. "The new student is here for the first day of classes! We have to be there to meet him. Who knows what schemes he's hatching? He could be planting a bomb for all we know."

"Who? The new kid?"

"No, Adam, the other student coming here from that weird place Theo went," she growled. "Of course I mean that student! Dad and the queen think he's up to something, and I'm going to figure out what."

"If you stopped eavesdropping on people, you'd probably be happier," Adam commented, still playing the piano and shutting his twin out. "You don't know anything about this guy, aside from what you heard from a conversation you weren't a part of. I'm sure he's fine."

"Master Maricourt, Master Darktide-Traver, here is Sebastian Wall of Jubilant Accosts, ready for his first day of school in Pleasantview."

Behind Miruna, a boy with red hair and piercing gold eyes stood, taking in all the grandeur of the coven entrance.

"Hello. Thank you for accepting me into your school. I have so much to learn here in Tredony and I can't wait to get started."

"Pleasantview," Ewan Maricourt corrected the boy. "We go by Pleaantview these days. I understand that you come from a land descended from Yacothia. We were once neighbours back then, I suppose."

Sebastian nodded gracefully.

"Of course," he replied smoothly. "I do so love history, I sometimes get carried away. Pleasantview looks like a beautiful place to study. Master Darktide-Traver, can I assume that you're descended from the fair Clarisa Darktide of Aarbyville? I've always had such a respect for the pirate queen; it's wonderful to see her descendant carry on the name."

'And is Wall an ancient family name too?" Edana asked irritably. "I don't remember reading anything about the Wall family in history class."

Sebastian shook his head.

"No, my family isn't recorded in the medieval scrolls. It's just that...well, my father would often tell me of the adventures of the pirate queen when I went to bed. I never thought that I would ever meet a relative of hers."

Edana shot her ex-husband a baffled look, which Ewan ignored.

"Well, there'll be plenty of time to chat about history later," Ewan said. For now, let's get you settled in. Your people sent all of your bags via a magical portal and they're ready to be taken to your room. For this semester, you'll be staying in a dorm with the only person who has ever been to your land, Apprentice Theo Bellamy. If you're homesick, perhaps you can reminisce together. He speaks quite highly of your country."

Ewan truthfully didn't know how Theo felt about Jubilant Accosts, but the boy was the only coven member who had seen Jubilant Accosts for themselves and as such, Theo had a duty to keep an eye on this mysterious student and report anything suspicious. There was no way in hell that Theo would be rooming with Ewan's son, especially since they were apparently sexuallly active.

"Yeah, putting those two together is a great idea," Edana muttered, loud enough for Sebastian to hear.

"I hope I'm not being treated as a threat to to watched over by your strongest student," Sebastian said irritably. "I only want to learn more about magic. I have no other agenda."

"Of course," Ewan replied quickly. He shot another dirty look at his ex-wife. "Theo is one of our most talented students, but he is only assigned to room with you because of his past experience with your homeland. We do not allow students to room by themselves unless there are special circumstances, so this is a setup that every single student must follow."

"Of course, that's what I was getting at," Edana lied. "Putting you with Theo makes a lot of sense. He apparently studied advanced magic at Shadowvale and could help you settle in here."

The way that Sebastian cocked his head to stare incredulously at her sent shivers down Edana's spine. There was something so familiar about it that she couldn't quite place. His eyes watched her watch him, seeming to delight in her confusion. This wasn't a boy who was excited to start a new school and meet new friends like he claimed. This was a soldier, waiting to be allowed into Edana's home to complete whatever mission he had.

Edana wasn't stupid. The instant Ewan had told her the name of the mysterious new student, she had immediately thought of Coby Wall, Queen Maura’s father, and potential assassin for Pleasantview. Ewan and King Charley had briefed her on the mysterious lead on the attacks on Twikkii Island, and Edana was more than ready to take action if she could. No one attacked an event where her children were in attendance and lived to talk about it. Charley had advised her to hang back and wait for more information before he would authorize her to hunt anyone down, but Edana was ready. If anyone with the last name Wall came within striking distance of her children, Edana would attack first and apologize to Charley later.

Still. She felt drawn to this boy for some reason she couldn't explain. He looked at her, and it felt like she was missing a very important piece of a puzzle she hadn't even realized she was assembling. It had to be the countless hours she'd spent hunched over her desk, staring at pictures of Queen Maura’s father. She had every known photo of the former prince consort pinned to her desk at home, hoping some burst of inspiration would hit her. She could see some of Coby in this boy. His hair for one was a dead giveaway, and maybe the corners of his mouth were similar too. This boy could be Coby's son or brother or even cousin. Who knew where on the Wall family tree he fell? The only thing that was certain to Edana was that there was more to this exchange student than they were being told, and that his timing was extremely suspicious.

"I would love to meet this Theo and see our room," Sebastian stated gracefully, as though he was the better person in this scenario, and Edana's suspicion was completely unfounded. "I have friends that went to Shadowvale. We'll have much to discuss."

Ewan walked Sebastian to the hallway where a coven member waited. Ewan watched as Sebastian ascended the stairs completely before turning angrily to Edana.

"You can't just go off on students, especially the ones the Queen deems suspicious," he snapped. "Is your hatred of our son's boyfriend really more important than observing a potential threat? You've made him suspicious of us, which will only make him more dangerous if he's planning something."

"I know, I know," Edana sighed. "I've never been good at holding back my feelings, you know that. It's just...this boy gives me a weird feeling. I can't explain it. There's just this electric current that runs through my nervous system when he stares at me. It reminds me of when Charlotte ran coven meetings. There was just something unimaginable running through her stare, and that boy is the same."

"I can't do anything about this," Ewan said patiently. "No matter how unnerving he is to you, the queen can't risk rejecting this boy and starting conflict with a powerful, seemingly unstable nation. Try to reign in your temper, Edana, or I'll have to assign you elsewhere. You're the best witch I know, and I want you on this assignment, but if it's too much for you, I'll-"

"I'll do better," Edana promised. "I know I can do this. His Majesty trusts me to complete this assignment and Queen Claudia listens to him. I won't let the king down; he's like a father to me. I know I can protect our family and our nations. Maybe just limit my involvement to times when Adam's demon isn't nearby. There's only so much of him that I can take."

Ewan nodded. This wasn't an unexpected request. Honestly, he'd already been considering it himself. Theo was a necessary part of this plan, and Edana tended to embarrass herself with inappropriate rage whenever the teen's name was mentioned.

"Of course," he decided. "That sounds like it's for the best for now. But Edana, they're dating. They may end up married or pregnant one day and you'll have to learn to live with him then. You can't parent by throwing a tantrum every time the children come to you with something that makes you uncomfortable."

Edana nodded her agreement, not trusting her voice to not betray her feelings.

"Of course," she agreed, mirroring her ex. "I'll try my best."

[review-anon]

2023 ASOOT Hunger Games Aftermath

SPOILERS FOR THE 2023 ASOOT HUNGER GAMES AHEAD

PA: KANADE OTONOKOJI HAS BEEN ELMINATED BY EITO KOBAYASHI!

(Urggghh....that wasn't very pleasant....I was so out of it during that Hunger Game. Why did I let the worst Lucky Student ever kill me?)

(Seriously its one thing to have Makoto Naegi...Nagito Komaeda...heck even Yuki Maeda kill me, but instead some loser OC? And I can't even get revenge when he gets eliminated since he's not allowed in this blog!)

PA: FUMIO FUJIMORI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY HAJIME HINATA!

(Oooo Hajime killed someone, that's gonna break him~)

(In all fairness, I think Hibiki being killed off so soon is what made me lose focus...I've been through so many Hunger Games...but losing my precious sister always hurts. I can never focus, maybe that's why I got Kobayashi-kun to kill me-)

PA: EITO KOBAYASHI HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY SETSUKA CHIEBUKURO!

(And that brings a smile to my face! My killer didn't get to go away scott-free and best of all, its my Prime timeline victim who does it, take that!)

*Eventually the Hunger Games conclude*

PA: THE WINNER IS ETSU DEGUICHI!

(Seriously? That gloomy mortician girl won? Talk about unfitting...oh well Review Anon has been messing up these Hunger Games a lot so this will probably go again and I can-)

Alright everyone! That one finally worked so firstly congratulations on the win Etsu and we can finally publish-

REVIEW ANON! I'M SO GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!

Oh look Nikei isn't happy with me. Well isn't THAT new. And we have been over this, I'm already dead so you cannot kill me.

So what's your rant of the moment gonna be about?

Okay so let me preface by saying that normally, I don't mind these Hunger Games. Sure, they aren't the best things out there but its a good way for me to get stress out of my system, and besides there are some people who I wouldn't mind shooting in the face without consequences.

If you know what I mean.

That doesn't answer my question.

But this one...this one...you REALLY crossed the line with. And I don't care if you are already dead, I'm gonna make you wish your original death, whatever it was, banished you to the afterlife!

Okay, okay let's see what's got your notebook all twisted....let's see Nikei killed 2 people this Hunger Game. The first one is Mori Miwa, someone you barely know and thus wouldn't have any moral qualms killing with a sickle, and the second kill is....Marin Mizuta who got accidently knocked off a cliff while in a knife fight with you...

Oh....oh no.....

You sick motherfucking ghost...you made murder my baby sister...and because of that you are gonna PAY for this!

W-Wait I need to see if Etsu has anything to say-

*BANG!* *BANG!* *BANG!*

SHIT! I NEED TO BOLT!

*Review Anon then flies through a wall in order to escape*

GET FUCKING BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!

*Nikei then takes off in hot pursuit of Review Anon and charges down the hallway, trying to find the rooms Review Anon is phasing through*

(That's what you get for running 5 Hunger Games in a row.)

*Eventually some more time has passed and Kanade is still in the simulation room deep in thought.*

(Okay so while this isn't the only Hunger Game on, this actually works out well for me.)

(After all Review Anon had 4 failed Hunger Games, and while I didn't win any of them, there were 3 other winners, because one of them won twice. Maybe I can seek them out and forge an alliance?)

(Yes Yomiuri-kun is hunting her down now, but that's not good enough, she needs to suffer lots more for doing this. So many people here hate her Hunger Games so finding people who want Review Anon knocked down a peg would be a clinch)

(Now then...who were the winners? Well the first one is gonna be hard as firstly there is history between us, Prime timeline history, and I have a horrid feeling she wouldn't want to-)

???: Hey Kana, what's wrong? You seem out of it.

Huh?

You haven't moved for a while. Wasn't your Hunger Game death that bad?

Not really...after all allowing yourself to be killed by some loser who only became an Ultimate because he won some lottery sucks, but there are worse deaths.

Besides you killed the guy who eliminated me in the first place, so if anything I owe you one.

Right...I guess I did, didn't I?

[newspropaganda]

so you say that the characters don't grow in zexal, because every protagonist gets better as the series progresses.

You don't say. That's literally the point of being a duelist. Nobody's out there going "I'm going to start dueling and be the worst possible duelist because I never want to get better."

At least Yuma didn't start as the best and have 1 loss in the history of his life, like Atem, Jaden, and Yusei. You can throw in Yuya and Yusaku too.

Minimal losses and superior skill! Wow! That definitely makes the duels interesting.

At least we actually got to see how Yuma became the best. Not just "The Yu-boy is the best, no-one can beat him, he saves the world!"

That's a classic yugioh thing. And once they make someone who isn't the best right away, somehow that's trash?

And Astral, the so called plot-convenient monologue machine, would Zexal be better without him?

No.

I'm sorry that some people state what they've learned. Like his observations.

Of course he told yuma about things that he already should know about. Astral doesn't know about that stuff and assumed that yuma didn't either. If you can remember correctly, they didn't start well.

And he doesn't exist purely to spout that stuff at yuma. he's literally the reason that yuma grew as a duelist and that the inevitable doom that his planet would suffer. If Astral didn't exist, his world would be destroyed, and so would Earth.

And nothing says "compelling villain" like power-hungry millennium item hunting guys with associates that hate a pharaoh for existing, either. Darts? He didn't have a reason for being evil. some orichalcos stone decided to turn him against mankind.

How compelling!

and you sure weren't complaining about Seto Kaiba. He does what he does because he has a brother, a rival, and a profound love for a a blue eyes white dragon and money.

And for your information, literally every yugioh villain had some sort of tragic past. Bandit king bakura? His town went up in flames and he was the only survivor. Pegasus? his fiance died. dartz? his kigdom was destroyed and his wife was turned into a monster. marik? he got an excruciating back tattoo.

What's new? Atem isn't here, so villains are suddenly different?

They've been like this since the dawn of yugioh.

Now I didn't say that it wasn't made for kids. The entire franchise was made for kids.

I'm sorry that you can't find anything good in the anime, but at least TvTokyo did something different from the usual "protagonist gets rival. no prob. he beats him. protagonist gets enemy. no prob. he beats him. protagonist proves himself to be the best by winning every tournament he's ever been in."

sure, yuma completed some of those, but he never even beat kaito, his rival.

and no-one said that zexal was sophisticated and mature. no-one did.

but some people here pay attention to the actual thing we're watching, not some pity party in their heads about how they think the show sucks.

And others just grew up with zexal. I, for one, did. And i've watched the dub and part of the sub.

maybe if you'd finally stop letting something pass through one ear and go out the other, then you'd see the reality in some things.

people are entitled to their opinions, and just because you see things one way doesn't mean that everyone else should feel the same way.

Oh, and about the "Bad Duels" and stuff, I'm sorry that the duels are more life-like than they were in other series. Sometimes it's nice to have a change.

Last I check Zexal was the most boring and souless Yu-Gi-Oh show that hardly had any investement to get people into and now your telling me that people care?

BRUUUUU Yugioh was aways Gallop original trilogy just like Symphogear up to GX.

[winwintea]

hi i love ur blog, i just wanna say i love ur smaus too like the characters seem all fleshed out with their own personalities and in comparison to other smaus its a lot easier to differentiate. i was thinking of starting a writing blog so i was just curious as to how you manage to do that? like maybe some tips and tricks you could give?

anyways hope you have a nice day <33

ur literally so sweet omg <33

but sure yes i can give you some tips and pointers if you'd like !!

make like character charts or bullet points down for all the characters.

if you're creative and artistic, draw out like a large ass character relationship chart. i've done one with secure that card and belladonna where i literally just drew arrows to each of the characters plus what the arrows meant.

this is one i made for when i started belladonna! (free from spoilers teehee) but you can see label relationships on it if you want! it makes it more clear, and if you forget a relationship it doesn't seem like ur making something up later in the story.

you can also like just write down bullet points on what you want the characters to be/act like. it's important to write this stuff down otherwise you'll lose it and forget! i won't show u my belladonna one bc it has spoilers on it, but i'll show u a basic one i used for mark lee vs the world. (obviously i conveyed most of these in the profiles but it's still good to update and add onto it when you need to)

2. study mbti or other personality categorizations!

back in 2020 i was SO OBSESSED WITH mbti. it's helped so much with writing and understanding characters on a personal level. whenever i get lost and don't know how to distinguish a personality from another i usally deep dive and watch content or remember what i know about mbti.

now there's obviously the specific 4-letters mbti, the functions mbti, and what the members think their own mbti is. obviously the test itself is dumb, so i don't always listen to what nct thinks their own mbti is or what the internet is. i like to do my own research into the functions and how i perceive the members for help.

this has also helped me a lot because there was for a period of time, where i wasn't sure how to write jeno and some of the members of 127. but studying his mbti really helped me create a personality to him!

here's my dreamie mbti thoughts at the moment if anyone wants them. i can also give my thoughts for any of the others if anyone is interested!

mark: infj. him being extroverted is so forced omg, take one closer look at this man and you can see his more introverted qualities. i'd accept isfj too, but his Ni function IS SOOOO STRONG.

renjun: RENJUN IS SUCH A BIG. "we don't know them personally situation" because i'll literally accept any variation of renjun at all. he knows much more about mbti than anyone else i've seen, especially coupled with the fact that he doesn't want to tell anyone what his mbti is, because he knows how annoying people can get about it. also he precieves himself as an extrovert which is shocking to me, but i feel like in this case i'd just type him as an istj/intp lol.

jeno: istp. i had to turn to pdb for this one lol, which isn't the worst place ever to start, but it also becomes a big ass echo chamber at times. though i relatively agree with istp lmfao.

haechan: enfp/entp. this one is always up in the air, because like jaemin people can't really tell if haechan is an extrovert or introvert. the way i disagree with the entire internet on this one lol. someone tell him to stop taking the fucking test he is definitely not an istp. 💀

jaemin: isfj. his test is pretty accurate i'd say, there's a lot of debate over whether or not jaemin is an extrovert or introvert, but if you actually pay attention to the way he acts when he isn't just around dreamies you can see how his social battery gets used up fairly fairly quickly. (cough cough nct world cought nct world)

chenle: definite entj. as someone who personally is an entj, i see so many entj qualities shine through this man.

jisung: infp. jisung's definitely introverted, but he has so many infp qualities. the patience and attentiveness, his fairness and morality, and deep connection with feelings. SO INFP CODED.

i hate how misinformed the kpop community is about mbti. it makes my blood boil actually. please read into the functions if you have time rather than just taking a test and calling it a day. THANK YOU.