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sayingyournames · 2 years ago

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Omg where to start. I have already been punched in the heart over and over with just this first chapter of ywlm. I guess here are just some rambling thoughts?

- that hello kitty boombox. Something that was a symbol of the role you could never fulfill, but also gave you the first thing you could really claim: music. And now claiming it as a tether to your Inner Child, to keep what you choose of Little Sirius and spend some time seeing him and telling him "it's going to be ok see we have our boom box our stuffie our proof we were a child once we existed and that childood happened and now I'm the grown up I'm here and I'm going to take care of you"

-I am ill for the Black brothers and always will be. The "I'm proud of you" is truly the most emotionally poignant thing a younger sibling in a family like that can say to their elder sibling who doesn't quite fit the mold. And the gender validation "big brother" I cry and laugh and celebrate so intensely with Sirius there. And how Sirius wants to protect Reggie but Sirius needs his own protection more than Regulus does. That's a brutal reality for an older sibling: because your younger sibling "fits the mold," they will be more ok than you will be if you don't save yourself. You have to give up the one role you did have: big sibling. Protector.

- the shopping scene omg. I was curious what reading this would feel like, since I am not trans but have major body ish leftover from growing up in the 00's and my god. Wonky sizing, feeling overwhelmed, being able to pick your own clothes instead of your mother doing it and not knowing where to start. I was FEELING Sirius there. It was giving the fitting room in the junior's section of Macy's. And I loved seeing him be brave and pick that skirt because he LIKED it and he could PICTURE himself in it, and start to dream about presenting the way HE wants rather than having to miserably exist in these extreme binaries to try to make things easier for everyone else except himself.

- ok last but not least the queer gaze from James and Remus. I don't know if your James is going to be queer but to me, juxtaposing those two moments side by side is Sirius's introduction to the other side of the mirror, the queer spaces where he will be fully seen and loved for the first time. The fact that just the way they *looked* at Sirius was clocked as Different from how anyone had ever looked at Sirius before, like "he wasn't a problem to solve" (and I'm going to come back to that line), to me that puts all three of them on the queer playing field so to speak. I am wicked pumped for the found family vibes.

-and ok REMUS. Having a boy look at you like that and making you feel like LIKE YOU AREN'T A PROBLEM TO SOLVE is a big fucking deal for an AFAB or femme teen in 2005. I've written about this. A lot. Living under the male gaze is so all-encompassing, it's like the very air you breathe from the moment you're born. And it's not until you're a teen that you realize the implications of it, but in 2005, you have no idea where the exit is. You're just stuck in this maze trying to use whatever tools you have to find some reprieve from having your body always being the first and most important thing that is noticed about you-- like maybe being a "tomboy," or in my case, leaning into purity culture and patriarchal hyper-femininity. I LOVE that Remus is going to be part of that "exit sign" for Sirius- like turn here onto Lupin Avenue for unconditional acceptance and whatever the opposite of objectification is.

Um ok hope this wasn't too much but I've said before I learn so much from your writing so I wanted to share what Things you are making me Think. Can't wait to read more!!!!

okay putting this under a cut bc my response is sooooo long <3

hi hello i’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to this - i just haven’t had the time to really sit down and give it the kind of attention it deserves!

the BOOMBOX. one of the first things i pictured when i started writing this was sirius’s boombox. bc Little Sirius needed something to cling onto that he could make his, and that could carry over into their new life. its basically a character in itself lmao i an very attached to The Boombox

sibling dynamics are so important to me. i am the youngest, though, and so when i write about regulus and sirius it’s a flipped situation from mine - i was younger and did not fit in and my sibling was older and Normal. but yes, regulus is very aware that he needs to be a support system for sirius, and all he really needs FROM sirius is for them to be around. they’ll get there.

a lot of fics (that i love and re-read all the time) explore sirius acting out and like, getting tattoed and stuff once they’re allowed to make their own decisions. in ywlm, sirius is acting against what his parents want, but in the way he can just - let his body exist however he wants to and it does not answer to anyone but them. there are a few other scenes coming up where we get to hang out with sirius while they do a 2000s shopping montage and i love thm.

my james IS queer, yes. everyone is queer to me at this point tbh! a similar thing happens in chapter 2 where like - quuer people just SEE each other, in a way that’s hard to explain to anyone who isn’t. sirius deserves a bizarre little family of misfits and he will get one. i

REMUS oh i LOVE him. he’s so soft in this. also like, it’s weird bc sirius isn’t as aware of that gaze bc he grew up with parents who didn’t really let them out of the house. like they know that it’s bc their parents see him as a girl and treat them differently but he won’t really connect the dots for a minute. so like, for them it’s more of a gender thing. very similar to how it was for me. i’ll go into this a lil more in depth later on, but. anyway REMUS i love the idea of him just being Some Guy and like he’s objectively handsome but sirius doesn’t fall for him bc of that, he falls for remus bc he gets them, exactly as they are. they’re so good for each other i’m :’)

anyway no it’s never too much, thank you so so much for reading my silly little fic. i LOVE talking about it, and i will continue to do so with any and everyone who will let me lol xx

#fic: you wouldn’t like me #esther.txt

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red-talisman · 3 years ago

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Before Jiang Cheng ate my brain, I was working on a "five times the juniors were reminded that Wei Wuxian is still the Yiling Laozu" kind of fic, and revisiting the old draft after so long is making me laugh.

...

[LWJ, WWX, JL, and LSZ are having dinner in the Jingshi.]

Jin Ling is visibly torn between being impressed and being proud. “Perhaps you’re not completely useless all the time,” he manages.

“Ungrateful child!” Wei-qianbei cries. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, did you ever hear such baseless accusations? Cruelty! I should feed this brat to my donkey.”

“Your threats are terrible compared to Jiujiu’s.”

“What? How dare you! Jiang Cheng only threatens to break legs or stab people in the side. Which, hey, it must run in the family. Oh, don’t look like that, I’m not trying to guilt you, you silly boy, it was barely a bee-sting. Stop looking all pathetic or I’ll have to comfort you, and you know that I will absolutely make it as humiliating as possible.”

“Get away from me! How can you – Hanguang-jun is right there, he’s the Chief Cultivator, you can’t just – “

Hanguang-jun calmly pulls Wei-qianbei's bowl over to his own side of the table so that it doesn’t get knocked over.

“Sect Leader?”

One of the Lanling Jin cultivators has pulled aside the front door a few inches to peer in, eyeing the way that Wei-qianbei is making grabby hands across the table at the guard’s loudly protesting sect leader. They both freeze. Hanguang-jun drops a few slices of bamboo shoots into Lan Sizhui’s bowl with a paternal sort of care.

“Yes?” Jin Ling says eventually.

“Is everything all right? Is…is the Yiling Patriarch causing you any trouble?”

“He’s always causing trouble,” Jin Ling can’t stop himself from saying, but then he says more sternly, “Wei-qianbei means me no harm. You may return to your post.”

“Yes, Sect Leader,” the cultivator says reluctantly, and closes the door again. When Jin Ling turns back around, he sees Wei-qianbei staring at him with wide eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are adorable,” Wei-qianbei coos. “Heavens, it’s like watching a tiger cub trying to roar. I’m having flashbacks to Jiang Cheng being nine years old and practicing his frowny face in the mirror. Lan Zhan, can I keep him? I’ll feed him and take him for walks every day.”

“What the fuck,” Jin Ling manages to croak out. “How dare you – Lan Sizhui are you laughing at me?”

“No talking during meals,” Lan Sizhui says peaceably.

#mdzs #cql #wei wuxian #jin ling #jukebox fic

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eclecticwordblender · 4 years ago

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Since @the-rambling-maiden gave me the kind of validation that makes one cry with joy. I couldn’t wait to publish part 2 of Mahabharata High School AU. Ik it’s too long I’m sorry 🥺.

Senior students in the limelight:

Yudhishthir:

The headboy.

Tries really hard to excell, still is barely above average.

Is driven by the idea that everyone likes him while most of his classmates find him plain annoying. Some of the teachers too.

Is the headboy because for some unknown reason Bheeshma likes him and no one likes to disagree with the principal. Dhritrashtra tried opposing but no one really listens to him.

this kid, Krishna ran a campaign that convinced everyone that Yudhishthir is the best headboy they could have. Without that he had no chance.

Everyone else just accepted and now listens to him because that’s what Krishna wants.

“Okay I’ll give a very interesting lecture in Moral science class.”

- everyone, even the teacher struggles to stay awake.

Draupadi:

Head girl.

Has witty comebacks to everything.

An all rounder.

Looking at her, everyone wonders why someone as under achieving as Yudhishthir gets to be the other school captain.

Changed her name to Panchaali. But everyone still calls her Draupadi. Doesn’t like it, but has made her peace with it.

Is already done with the world’s patriarchal ways which are the basis of the school’s sexist rule book.

Is EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY beautiful.

Once, some juniors went to the principal’s office and saw a picture of the first headmistress. They were all admiring her beauty while Draupadi walked in. And suddenly all the admiration shifted to her.

An iconic friendship quadrent of Arjuna, Satyabhama, Krishna and Draupadi exists right since they joined school.

Had a beef with the Geography teacher, Kunti because had a thing going with Arjuna for a while.

“🧚🏻‍♀️🥰 How are we ignoring our beloved head boy today?🥰🧚🏻‍♀️”

Arjuna:

Heart eyes uwu.

Soccer team captain.

Is some sort of a ladies man. However, always prioritises his ECAs and Krishna.

All rounder. Had the achievements to be head boy, definitely not the time.

Girls are always crushing on him.

Dated Draupadi in the freshman year, it didn’t work out. Is still best friends with her though.

Currently in a relationship with Subhadra, she’s two years younger, but our boi doesn’t really care because he’s so smitten by her. Bestfs still above her though.

Is Kunti’s favourite kid. Kunti is an actual sweetheart exclusively to him.

Everyone loves him.

Sometimes sick of all the attention he gets.

Major enimity with the soccer team’s vice captain, Karna.

“I WILL PROVE THE VICE CAPTAIN IS NO MATCH TO ME!”

Bheema:

Really tall, really husky, Fitness freak.

Still loves food more than right about anything.

There’s only one person he’d choose over food. The head girl. Some say he has had a crush on her since junior school. Draupadi values him a lot but doesn’t seem to reciprocate the attention he gives her.

Is stupid, but it’s okay because he’s also the good-est boy in town.

Not very bright academically.

Doesn’t get the recognition he deserves.

Literally the BEST basketball player, but all everyone in school seems to care about is soccer and track events :/.

Has anger management issues which land him into trouble very often.

“Panchaali! You should be proud of me, I prevented a murder today, BY CONTROLLING MY ANGER.”

Nakul:

Is a year younger to everyone in his class.

Really cute, really handsome. Is also well aware about this.

Is not much of a ladies man but SO MANY PEOPLE have crushes on him.

Is practically never seen without his guitar and bestf, Sahadev, who is the only one who shares his birth year.

Can be found giving out personalised skin care routines for fun. And Sahadev, being the brains of the duo, charges in cash, that is how both of them get their pocket money.

Goes to the restroom after every period to make sure his hair are still on point.

Has a successful band. Obviously he’s the lead.

“Wow! Who is this beauty!? Oh my God! This is why I use mirrors as mood boosters.”

Sahadev:

Smartest kid in the school. School topper.

Can talk about random trivia for hours, and people like listening to him.

Is either in the library or hanging out with Nakul.

Hates school A LOT.

Sahadev doesn’t attend a lot of classes because he knows teachers aren’t of any help to him.

Always attends maths class, even though he doesn’t like Sir Shakuni. Prolly because he wanted to be Shakuni’s fav but Shakuni only likes the bad boys. Sigh.

Is a walking human encyclopaedia.

“Why is everyone so stupid!? I WANNA GO HOME! I HATE YOU ALL! (Except my boi Nakul).”

Krishna:

(Ik everyone in the fandom loves him v much. Please don’t hate me for this.)

Manipulative to a point its very toxic.

Doesn’t like taking responsibilities and being held accountable

so just tricks people who take up responsibility into listening to him.

The OG heart eyes in the campus.

Still ships Draupadi and Arjuna for some reason. Even though he treats Arjuna’s girlfriend as his younger sister.

So stubborn.

Is good at everything but doesn’t like the lime light.

A Krishna-Shakuni Feud is the best source of entertainment.

Krishna seems to think that every body who disagrees with him is absolutely wrong and would go any length to make a point. Is also sort of disrespectful to the teachers he doesn’t like.

However, has a very captivating charm that makes him most people’s favourite. Shakuni sees through his well planned schemes because he has fully functional brain cells.

Loves his friendship quadrant and a girl from some other school who visits often, a lot.

A feminist. Hates the school’s rule book in a positive manner.

“🧚🏻‍♀️🥰 What mischief should I do today? And how do I trick someone into thinking it was their idea, not mine?🥰🧚🏻‍♀️”

Karna:

Soccer team vice captain.

Here on a scholarship.

Every girl with daddy issues is head over heels for him.

Uses Hating Arjuna as a personality trait.

Also uses his love for Duryodhana as another personality trait.

Has lots of rumours about him. He doesn’t care because all he cares about is defeating Arjuna.

A lot of students ship Draupadi with him. It’s just stupid. Both of them dislike each other, but are too evolved to care about stupid rumours.

Is extremely generous.

Since the owner’s kid, who is RICH is his bestf, he never misses a chance to slide a meal from the overpriced canteen to any one who forgot lunch.

Suffers from classism and tries very hard to fight the inferiority complex he gets because most kids around are super rich.

Dronacharya dislikes him, he dislikes him back, however, still tries to win him.

Has abandonment issues.

Some say he looks upto Ma’am Kunti for validation.

The cricket coach, Pashuram, likes this kid though.

“Are you challenging me Arjuna!?”

Duryodhan:

Thinks too highly of himself.

Being the owner’s kid makes up for half his personality. The other half is his devotion towards his beloved Karna.

Is probably bi and Has a not so subtle crush on his bestf.

Has another personality that is devoted to trying to convince everyone he should be head boy.

He once started an intervention demanding “Duryodhana should be headbody” and he was also the leader on the intervention. Karna was unwillingly in his support.

Is Sir Shakuni’s favourite bratty kid.

Only listens to Shakuni or Karna.

Comes up with evil and downright mean mischiefs but always fails.

He once tried to full on flirt with Draupadi but got his a*s whooped.

Tried to sabotage Yudhishthir’s reputation but Krishna’s interference led him to fail.

“Where’s Mitr Karna!?!? I get anxiety when I don’t have him or Sir Shakuni around for long!”

“I should be headboy! No head girl. Karna should be headboy 2.”

Dushasan:

Befriended Duryodhana first year of school.

Looks up to Duryodhana. Only imitates his bad qualities. That’s it, that’s his entire personality.

Even Shakuni who loves bratty kids, dislikes this one.

Has more haters than the headboy. Except people hate on him openly.

Total failure.

A bully.

Dushasana can be found in the last room on the third floor of the oldest block very often. That’s the detention room.

Tries to flirt with every girl around, and girls just ew this creep AS THEY SHOULD.

Doesn’t have a personality of his own.

“Dury Bro! HOW DID YOU DO THAT? CAN I TOO PLEASE?”

Sikhandi/Sikhandini:

FEMINIST.

Gender fluid and ready to teach a lesson to anyone who invalidates her.

Strong and independent.

Important member of the soccer as well as the cricket team.

Also, a star athelete.

Has a very strong bonding with Ma’am Amba because VERY similar.

Sikhandi/Sikhandni can be seen gossiping with Amba on the stair case a lot, some claim to have heard them trash talk Bheeshma.

Bold and not afraid to stand for what they believes in without caring about the consequences.

Once they gave herself a third ear piercing, using a compass when Kunti told her a double piercing was a distraction after Yudhishthir complained about it.

Emerges as a parent figure to juniors who are bullied for being different.

“As long as you have the right intentions you’re valid okay?”

Drishtdyum:

Introvert.

Minds his own business.

Manages good grades and a spot in the sports squad.

He found out he shared his birthday with the Draupadi in second grade. Loves her like a sister since then.

The basketball coach sees some spark in him that no one else does.

Is liked by all but doesn’t get the attention he deserves.

Is pretty content with life in General.

Ashwatthama:

Soccer coach’s kid.

Is self aware.

Realistic and practical.

Suffers from major attention deprivation.

Duryodhan lent him a pencil case in second standard. Asshwatthama tries so hard to become his favourite ever since.

The Iconic Karna Dury duo however, ignore almost always.

Expanded the “Duryodhana should be headboy” intervention but his efforts weren’t recognised.

Closeted gay.

Respects superiors while disliking them.

Quite bitter.

“Will this win me Duryodhan’s love?”

Subhadra:

Eyes like forest pools.

Looks up to Draupadi as a role model.

Arjuna is her weakness even though she’s dating him.

Kunti likes her. Doesn’t mind if she’s dating Arjuna.

There’s this brilliant student in the junior section, Abhimanyu. Subhadra and Arjuna spend a lot of time with him together. They sort of look like a very happy family.

Always tops English and History class.

Gossip queen xoxo.

“Draupadi Didi and Krishna bhaiya said so, Arjuna you know I cannot say no to them.”

Dushala:

Is the sweetest person around.

Believes there is some good in every person.

Even hangs out with Duryodhana and squad thinking they’ll change some day.

Karna and Dushala often discuss how to mend this group’s ways, assisted by Dury’s girlfriend, Bhanumati.

Is stuck in a relationship with a jerk but doesn’t have the heart to break up with him.

Is literally kindness personified.

Dushala’s favourite teacher is Gandhaari. Probably because no one else gives the teacher validation and Dushala doesn’t like when someone is sad.

Jayadaratha:

Terrible person.

Only the size of a grain of sand better than Dushasana.

Started Dating Dushala Sophomore year.

Dushala really wants to break up with this jerk but she’s too sweet to hurt someone even as terrible as him so she just avoids him.

Once Draupadi slapped him in public. Dushala cheered the loudest.

Is only relevant because of his girlfriend.

Bhanumati:

Says Duryodhana is an excellent boyfriend.

Corrects her man when he’s wrong.

Is also close friends with Karna.

Led the intervention against the “Duryodhana should be headboy intervention.”

It hurt Dury but it’s okay because Bhanumati has her own thoughts and he respects that. Guess he is actually a good boyfriend.

“OMG DURY!!!! STOP IT! KARNA HOW DO WE STOP DURY FROM DOING ANOTHER F*CK UP?”

Yuyutsu:

Is very lovable.

Boy has no hater.

Somehow was befriended by Duryodhan in junior school.

Feels stuck in the Dury gang ever since.

Secretly, very strongly admires Yudhishthir, Arjuna, Draupadi and of course, KRISHNA.

Is everything you’d wanna fix in Yudhishthir.

Yuyutsu, Dushala and Vikarna trio is bff goals.

“Is there any way I can change my friend group? Face palms”

Vikarna:

Counsels Duryodhana on Yuyutsu’s advise.

There isn’t much to say about him. Dude’s a good guy with humanly flaws.

Feels stuck in Dury gang but has made his peace with their ways.

Dushala, Yuyutsu and Vikarna are often found gossiping with Ma’am Gandhaari, she often warns them about how their other friends are bad kids and they should not get influenced.

“Why!? Because yuyutsu says so that’s why!”

Eklavya:

Here on scholarship.

This poor kid was bullied so much initially when he joined school because of his economic status.

Coach Drona wouldn’t let him into the soccer team because he’s afraid someone might out shine his favourite.

Stays away from the dirty politics in school.

Became a star athelete despite all the odds he faced.

Eklavya was once locked in the washroom before a 100m race on the sports day. No one knows who did that for sure. Although some people claim to know it was Coach Drona.

Rukmini:

President of the theatre club.

Crushes on Krishna for an unknown duration.

Krishna does give her attention because EXCUSE ME, she is impossible to ignore.

Rukmini befriended Nakul in the corridors as they bumped into each other after every period, while going to/coming from the washroom to check their respective hairdos.

Satyabhama:

Is Draupadi’s psychological twin.

President of the debating society.

Another one of Krishna’s closest friends.

The school is full of Satyabhama-Krishna shippers. But their friendship quadrant knows Krishna is smitten by this girl from some other school.

Radha:

The girl from some other school.

Probably goes to an all girls convent school.

Is shy but can be seen having a a gala time with Krishna after school. Friends w Subhadra too.

Nobody in school knows much about her but it’s evident Krishna and her are 11/10 soulmates uwu.

Rukmi:

Rukmini’s twin brother.

Is overly protective of his sister.

Thinks he’s well sorted but almost always creates a mess.

Has some sort of minor feud with Krishna.

Is neck deep in a very toxic friendship with Shishupal.

Shishupal:

Rebel without a cause.

A headache.

Wants to fight Krishna but is scared of him.

Wants to join the Dury gang but no on lets him in.

Shishupal is known to spread the most problematic rumours in school.

Hidimbi:

Stays occupied in her small social circle of not so popular kids.

She’s famous, though doesn’t talk to many people.

Proposed to Bheem in middle school.

Bheem gently turned her down because he was already mad about Draupadi. Hidimba moved on with life without sulking about it. Probably still likes him though.

Also, really close to this Ghatotkutch person who is in fifth grade.

Ulupi and Chitrangada:

Dated Arjuna for a few weeks each.

Then bonded over how he’s not a good boyfriend and not as perfect as everyone thinks he is. they do have a point though.

Are now bestfs and don’t like anyone else in school.

Since, I’m an attention wh*re tagging: @bigheadedgirlwithbigdreams @soniaoutloud @supermeh-krishnafan @incorrectmahabharatquotes @chaanv @hoeticulture @lemponkoira @1nsaankahanhai-bkr

Also, link to part 1: https://eclecticwordblender.tumblr.com/post/625462681921568768/foundation

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aquadrazi · 3 years ago

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Find Someone to Carry You

Chapter 4

*****Thirteen years after the death of the Yiling Patriarch*****

“I heard the Jin Sect Leader died” “Died inside one of his whores is what I heard” “I heard the new young sect leader has been training with the Ghost of Gusu” “I heard that those young cultivators are the best in generations” “Is it true that the Second Jade of Lan turned down Chief Cultivator?” “I’m not surprised. He’s only seen around his group of Juniors when they are on night hunts” “Jin Guangyao seems to being a good job running the Jin Sect in the boy’s absence” “It seems the Jin and Lan sects are becoming closer and closer” “Maybe, but it doesn’t seem that the Ghost of Gusu cares about sect politics”

........Mo Manor…….

Lan Wangji arrived quickly after he saw Sizhui’s signal flare light up the night sky. He liked to keep his distance these days to see how his Juniors handled hunts on their own, and then would come when summoned if there were problems. They had been asked to rid the Mo Estate of some resentful energy, so apparently things were more complicated than they were led to believe.

As the Juniors recounted the events that led up to them signaling for help, Lan Wangji surveyed the area. One particular area drew his eyes.

He walked towards a run-down shack and signaled for the Juniors to follow him. The demonic hand would be dealt with, but he had a feeling there was more to this story than first appeared.

The Juniors had swarmed past him before he had finished taking in the scene, with their weapons drawn.

“Wait” He stopped them. “Tell me, what do you see?”

“Senior Lan, there is a demonic cultivator laying in the center of an array. We must kill him”

“Oh? Why must we?” Lan Wangji realized that it was high time for this lesson.

“Because demonic cultivation is evil”

“Who told you that?”

“Master Lan”

“Why is it evil?”

There was shuffling and silence.

“Is it the cultivation itself that is evil, or is it the cultivator?”

“Master Lan says that demonic cultivation erodes the mind and turns the cultivator into a monster”

“The Yiling Patriarch used demonic cultivation and he killed thousands before he was finally defeated”

“He killed my parents” Jin Ling added quietly, loud enough to only be heard by the few standing around him.

“Do you see a monster?” Lan Wangji asked calmly, despite the reference. He did not miss that most of the Juniors tensed up at the mention of Wei Ying. They had learned at a very young age that talk of the Yiling Patriarch was not tolerated around him.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe”

“What is the array even FOR?”

“I see a boy in need of medical attention.” Sizhui said stubbornly while putting his sword away. The other Juniors followed suit. Sizhui had assumed a leadership role amongst them, they all seemed to follow his lead regardless if it was a night hunt or what game they were going to play after lecture.

“Alright. Sizhui, you take charge of seeing that Young Master Mo here doesn’t bleed to death. The rest of you, see what clues can be found in the room as to what happened here.” Lan Wangji was proud of his son. He had hoped that being raised in Cloud Recesses wouldn’t cause him to see the world as black and white, as it had for him when he was growing up.

Lan Wangji could see little bits of Wei Ying in the boy, even though he didn’t remember his time in the Burial Mounds. A-Yuan was so young when everything had happened, and when Lan Wangji had found him, the boy was suffering from a terrible fever. He still has nightmares from time to time, but Sizhui would brush them off as crazy dreams, and not memories of his past.

“Senior Lan” Jin Ling whispered next to him. “I think the spell was designed by the Yiling Patriarch.” He had found a bunch of papers and was presenting them to Lan Wangji.

How could he possibly know that?

“I- I recognize the handwriting.” Jin Ling’s hand trembled a little as Lan Wangji took the papers from him. As the Juniors grew older, Lan Wangji had spoken out loud to them less and less. However, since they had spent so much time together as they grew up, the Juniors all had an uncanny ability to read Lan Wangji’s miniscule changes in facial expressions and body language. Lan Wangji didn’t have to say anything to prompt the boy to continue his explanation.

“When I went back for my grandfather’s funeral I went looking for…” He looked around to see if anyone was in earshot, then spoke again even quieter “…the screaming man. I went back to the room I had seen him in with grandfather and Uncle Jin when I didn’t see him in the receiving hall. He wasn’t there, but there were a bunch of items that had belonged to the Yiling Patriarch there. I’m guessing that my grandfather had them collected so he could research demonic cultivation. I… read some of the journals. His writing was…distinct.” The boy almost looked ashamed as he finished his explanation.

It only took a glance for Lan Wangji to confirm that the spell was designed by Wei Ying. “You are correct”.

“It seems that the spell was designed by Senior Wei, probably during his time in the Burial Mounds with the Wen remnants.” Lan Wangji announced to the room. “So we now know that we are dealing with something that we probably haven’t seen before.”

“The Yiling Patriarch?”

“So it IS demonic cultivation.”

“I wonder if it worked…whatever it was”

Don’t be emotional.

Let them find the clues themselves.

Let them put it together.

Let them come to their own conclusions.

They are good kids with open minds, they don’t see the world as black and white.

They’ve been taught to think and gather evidence before they judge.

“Senior Lan. I’ve compared the array to the one in Senior Wei’s drawing, it was correctly drawn. I see no reason for the spell to not have worked. Also, it appears this spell is a Sacrifice Summon, so Young Master Mo would have given up his soul and offered his body as a vessel to…something… be it a demon or another spirit, to…get revenge for him.” Lan Jingyi reported.

“Has anyone found a note?” Sizhui asked from where he was tending to the boy. “If it was a Sacrifice Summon, then there would be a note with instructions for what the spirit needed to carry out.” He channeled spiritual energy into the slashes on the boy’s wrist. The ones that would only go away once whatever it was that the boy wanted done was accomplished. His eyes widened when they closed up. “Wait! The spell didn’t work. The wounds closed.”

“So that IS young Master Mo then”

“Oh good”

“What? He’s still a demonic cultivator”

“I heard he was crazy”

“At least he isn’t an ACTUAL demon”

“He must have been in a lot of pain to want to give up his life, and all future lives for revenge”

“What do you mean?”

“The caster gives up their body to another, and their soul is destroyed in the process”

“So he was expecting to die”

“Why would anyone do that?”

Uncle would be very irritated at the Juniors chattering while looking for clues. However Lan Wangji didn’t discourage it. He liked to hear what they were thinking, and where their thought processes were going. He found it was easier to teach them if he KNEW what they were thinking, rather than guessing. The irony was not lost on him. If he had been more verbal with Wei Ying maybe things would have turned out differently. He would not make that mistake again.

No, he encouraged his Juniors to voice everything they thought and felt. He wanted them all to know that they could rely on each other no matter the situation. He never wanted to see another cultivator on their own, battling the world, misunderstood. His Juniors would have each other, even after he was long gone.

“I found a note!”

“What does it say?”

“Who was he trying to summon?”

“Who did he want revenge on?”

Their questions were broken by a sudden screaming coming from young Master Mo. “No, no please. Please stop. Please let me go, I’m scared. I don’t want to. Please, it hurts. I’ll be good, I swear. I’ll be good. Please!”

Sizhui pulled the boy into his lap and held him tightly so he couldn’t thrash about. “It’s okay, Just breathe. No one here will hurt you. Can you breathe for me?” He said soothingly to the boy while rocking him.

The boy continued to sob and beg pathetically into Sizhui’s shoulder as Sizhui whispered into the boy’s ear and rocked him gently.

“He was trying to summon the Yiling Patriarch. He wanted revenge on those who��had abused him.”

“But the spell didn’t work.”

“Does that mean that the Yiling Patriarch is alive?”

“That can’t be. The Jin clan saw him burst into a million pieces”

“Well, if he is definitely dead, then that must mean there wasn’t a soul to summon”

No soul.

Wei Ying’s soul was destroyed.

Wei Ying hasn’t just been avoiding Inquiry for the past 13 years.

He wasn’t just hiding, feeling hurt and betrayed.

His soul was destroyed, so there was nothing left to talk to.

Wei Ying would never reincarnate.

Wei Ying no longer existed.

Lan Wangji felt like someone had reached into his chest, ripped out his heart, and was squeezing it in front of his eyes.

“Se-Senior Lan? Are you okay?”

The Juniors were staring at him with looks of concern. “Mn” was all he could manage for them.

“Let’s regroup back at Cloud Recesses.” Sizhui suggested, realizing that his father was having some sort of emotional crisis. The Juniors murmured and nodded in agreement as they took samples of the talismans hanging from the walls, and all the papers that had been found, and exited the shack.

The boy in his arms whimpered as Sizhui lifted him up, even though he was careful not to press against any of the injuries he could see.

“It’s going to be okay now. No one is going to hurt you again.” Sizhui tried to soothe the boy as he carried him out of the shack. “We will help you”.

“Senior Lan, can you fly on your own?” Lan Wangji felt an arm on his shoulder, steadying him.

“I will be fine” Lan Wangji responded. It wasn’t a lie, he was sure that he would be fine to fly. The Junior stayed by his side as he left the shack, which he was glad for because his legs were fighting him to stay standing up. “I will just need a minute.”

The cool night air helped him to focus on the present. There was a young boy who needed their help, and a demonic hand to get to a secure place. There was also the information that the Jin sect had Wei Ying’s work from when he was in the Burial Mounds, and had been using it in experiments for years. Young Master Mo was one of Jin Guangshan’s bastards, and had been kicked out for being crazy. Perhaps he had been part of the experiments. That would explain the demonic cultivation.

Lan Wangji breathed deeply and steadily until his mind calmed down. They would travel back to Cloud Recesses, the boy would be tended to, and they would look through the clues and try to get a better picture of what was going on.

Once those things were taken care of, then he would allow himself to fall apart.

#mdzs fic #the untamed

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coffee-and-cookies-mochi · 5 years ago

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the patriarch and the (light) bearer

[ almost 2k+ words ; fluff ; story-telling, dramatic wwx style ]

[Or, the only way to defeat the yao in this…strange night-hunt was to answer its questions in a poetic form]

Wei WuXian merely glances at the juniors—Lan SiZhui, Lan JingYi, and Jin Ling—trying to exorcise the aggressive yao, not even lifting a finger or dropping hints. Beside him, Lan WangJi gazes at him curiously, trying to figure out what exactly is going on in his husband’s mind.

After all, in night-hunts like this, Wei WuXian has the upper hand considering his demonic cultivation abilities and his position in the spirit world. He must have an idea on what to do to wrap up this case as soon as possible—then share it to the juniors later.

But Wei WuXian is quiet, just looking, not saying a thing.

“Wei Ying,” Lan WangJi murmurs, but it is enough for Wei WuXian to blink and glance at him. His silver eyes sparkle under the moonlight, specks of tease and warmth and affection on his orbs.

(And sometimes, even if his husband is in a different body, Lan WangJi drowns in such gaze, reminded of that night he caught Wei Ying sneaking in alcohol, lips curved up in an impish smile as he offers him wine.)

“Not gonna help the kids yet, nope,” Wei WuXian chuckles, playfully tapping Lan WangJi’s nose with a finger. “I’m not yet done figuring something out.”

Lan WangJi’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “What are you trying to know?”

Wei WuXian only smiles, telling clearly that he will not tell Lan WangJi—yet. And Lan WangJi respects this; he has come to learn that there are days Wei WuXian doesn’t share things until he is so sure of what he will say, or if he is not sure and he will need Lan WangJi’s input.

So Lan WangJi remains quiet, although curiosity starts to flare inside his chest. He wants to know—he wants to know what Wei WuXian knows, he wants to see what is on Wei WuXian’s mind.

(Lan WangJi, for all his self-restraint and discipline, is greedy, greedy, avaricious when it comes to Wei WuXian.

But for all his selfishness, Lan WangJi does not restrain Wei WuXian—to which, in turn, makes Wei WuXian stay with him.)

“Okay, that’s enough,” Wei WuXian calls out after a long moment, hopping down the branch of a tree. “You’re going to lose spiritual energy at this point.”

“But Senior Wei—!” Lan JingYi starts to protest, but one look from Wei WuXian silences him.

“I got it already, I’ve figured this one out—and I’ve come to the conclusion that I should be the one doing it anyway,” Wei WuXian says, and Lan WangJi hears the note of mischief hidden underneath the sternness of his voice.

“It’s our night-hunt!” Jin Ling lashes out. “And you’re supposed to just supervise!”

“Aih, what manners! Really, you’re so much like your purple uncle,” Wei WuXian shakes his head, a look of mock displeasure in his face.

“You—!”

“Yes, me,” Wei WuXian laughs. “But you’ve heard me. And anyway—haven’t I told you that while there are things you can do, there are also those that you can’t for the time being? Haven’t I, SiZhui-er?”

To which Lan SiZhui, albeit confused, replies, “Yes, Senior Wei.”

“You’ve heard him!” Wei WuXian grins. “And so, at this point, I will have to deal with this. You kids, on the other hand, will stay with HanGuang-Jun and watch as I do it. All right?”

The juniors look at Lan WangJi, as if asking—pleading at—him not to let their obnoxious Senior Wei have his way.

But Lan WangJi simply says, “Listen to him,” for he knows that whatever Wei WuXian does or says, it is for a good reason. He knows beyond doubt that Wei WuXian always considers things in a very detailed manner, then decides on his own justly.

Although sullen, the junior disciples walk over to Lan WangJi. Only Lan SiZhui asks, with curiosity, “HanGuang-Jun, do you have any idea what Senior Wei will do?”

(Secretly, Lan WangJi is proud for having such a son who, despite his confusion, has the mind to inquire and learn.)

Lan WangJi shakes his head, then his gaze turns back to Wei WuXian. Wei WuXian casually strolls where the yao is encaged, his stance relaxed.

“Why, hello there,” Wei WuXian greets. “Do forgive my children, they have no manners in dealing with the kind of you sometimes.”

“Who are your children?” Lan JingYi hisses, but Lan WangJi sees how the said children preen on Wei WuXian’s words.

“You should’ve stopped them earlier,” the yao snarls quietly, yet it makes no move to attack Wei WuXian, “and you must’ve stepped in instead.”

“But I have to know first what you want,” Wei WuXian chuckles. “But now I do, and now I have stepped in. Aren’t you pleased?”

The yao is silent, not answering.

“Well then, let’s finish this, shall we?” Wei WuXian’s posture shifts slightly—still relaxed, Lan WangJi knows, but in a way that is somewhat somber and serious. “What would you want to ask?”

“Ask?” The yao blinks, and Lan WangJi is sure it’s not the only one blinking in surprise.

“Yes, ask!” Wei WuXian beams. “You seem to want to ask something before my children suddenly attacked—sorry about that. But go on, ask—and I shall endeavor to answer.”

Now there is also a subtle change in how Wei WuXian speaks—a tone unfamiliar to Lan WangJi’s ears.

“Does a demon love?” the yao blurts out, its eyes on Wei WuXian.

…That’s the question Lan WangJi least expects.

“Oh, it does!” Wei WuXian replies immediately. “It loves chaos and uproar; it craves blood and death. A demon loves them like how one would speak of its beloved—lusts for them like a crazed beast.”

As perplexed as he is, Lan WangJi listens on (and quietly, quietly, melts on Wei WuXian’s smooth cadence of his speech, of how his voice flows like gentle water on a stream).

“Not that love,” the yao refutes. “Of course the demon loves the beauty of dissonance—but—” it hesitates for a while before it continues. “Does a demon love another? Or…a human?”

Wei WuXian pauses, closing his eyes, as if considering for an answer. Meanwhile, the junior disciples look at each other in utter bemusement, talking quietly to each other

“Can a demon love?!” Lan WangJi hears Lan JingYi sputter, and Lan SiZhui has to throw his fellow junior a warning look.

“Just what kind of a stupid question is that?” Jin Ling mutters acidly.

But Wei WuXian does not hear them, too focused on his own thoughts. After a while, he answers.

“Yes.”

A collective gasp echoes throughout the empty clearing.

“Which demon, which demon?” The yao excitedly asks. “And who does the demon love?”

Wei WuXian opens his eyes, and slightly turns to look at Lan WangJi with a half-lidded gaze. His ravishing lips curl up slightly, then turns back to the yao.

For once, Lan WangJi is at a loss of what his husband is trying to convey.

“The world does not know what kind of a demon he is,” Wei WuXian starts, again with that cadence, “but the world calls the demon Patriarch.”

“What?!!” Lan JingYi and Jin Ling exclaim with wide eyes. Lan WangJi, on the other hand, listens intently.

“The world says the Patriarch loves chaos—he seeks them, drinks in them, but if he is too bored, he starts chaos himself,” Wei WuXian goes on. “His chaos is his own form of a dance, with the undead stepping along to the tunes of death played on a single flute.

“For some it is a saving grace; for others a nightmare. Regardless, they agree it is ghastly; still, they do not agree it is worth watching.

“Yet they do not know that what the Patriarch loves is not the dissonance his flute brings, but the momentary quiet that comes after. The Patriarch laments that the quiet is fleeting; that his flute, despite the clarity of his notes, bring the opposite of what he seeks.

“And the quiet—pity the Patriarch! It always evades him, even in the corners of his mind. In his sleep he hears voices that are not his own; in his waking hours he still is not alone!

“The world says the Patriarch loves his own kind—nightmarish and ghastly—but no, the world does not know that the Patriarch respects his kind, yet does not, does not love them.”

The audience is enthralled; even the children listen more attentively.

“Enter the Patriarch’s opposite—and he is not a demon, far from it! No demon carries light and purity; demons only carry darkness and filth! And the Patriarch’s opposite—the world does not know what he is, but they call him…Bearer.”

(There’s an unexplainable leap in Lan WangJi’s chest when Wei WuXian utters that.)

“He is blinding, the world sings, like the sun high up in the sky. The Bearer is like that of a deity, walking with mortals, yet his countenance is of frost and coldest winters. He is quiet, so they say; barely the world hears a sentence flow from his snowy lips.”

(Lan WangJi barely misses the smirk in Wei WuXian’s lips.)

“The world hopes, even implores, that the Bearer will eventually stop the Patriarch’s madness. After all, the Bearer knows the Patriarch for years and years back, has fought with him side by side in wars.

“But the Patriarch, for all his stubbornness, does not let the Bearer get him. He refuses every time the Bearer asks, he ignores every time the Bearer tries.

“Yet strangely, the Patriarch seeks his presence. He lets the Bearer in despite the arguments that will follow, he converses with the Bearer like friends meeting once more! He does not hinder the Bearer’s presence within his own cold cave—for the Patriarch feels the Bearer’s warmth underneath the freezing façade.”

“Aww,” Lan JingYi utters, and Jin Ling elbows him.

“And so, despite the fact that the Patriarch forgot the world, he lets the Bearer see what he truly loves. Not the chaos, not the wars, not the ghosts that follow him all around.

“The Patriarch loves a sister who took him in; the Patriarch loves a brother underneath snarky comments and sneers. The Patriarch loves a second family who he saved from the peonies’ thorns; the Patriarch loves a child, like how a father dotes on his own son.

“As if trying to tell the Bearer—look, I am not the demon the world fears me to be! I may be a demon, but see—you see! I only seek for a solace no one offers me!”

There is a heavy silence that follows, and the audience cannot bring themselves to speak. It is a long moment before the yao braves to ask, in a small voice, “Did the…Patriarch obtain his peace?”

A sad, bittersweet smile graces Wei WuXian’s lips. “He had not,” he finally replies. “Until the very end, peace does not find him—it evades him still, like a teasing, frivolous maiden playing with a boy’s heartstrings. But is what the Patriarch has expected a long time ago, after he emerged from his own Hell and tried to live with the world.

“His own home—Hell—has not truly given him solace, thus he sought for it in the world. Yet the world is selfish and unkind, it seems.

“Two words, two very simple words—that the world associates with the Patriarch when they burned him with scorn.”

“The Bearer could have saved him!” the yao exclaims, indignant.

There is a tentative pause before Wei WuXian replies. “Oh, the Bearer has saved the Patriarch—”

“Did the Patriarch live, then?” the yao asks excitedly.

“No. The Patriarch burned back in Hell.”

“What?! But you said—”

“That the Bearer saved him? Yes, he did. The Bearer saved the Patriarch’s son from the peonies’ thorns and lotuses’ poison; the child is the reason why the Patriarch still sees light despite the darkness. To say simply, the child has become the Patriarch’s life, tethering him to the living.”

(There are tears in the children’s eyes this time, and a suspicious sniffling. Lan WangJi, on the other hand, tries so hard not to break down.)

“But,” a sudden laugh escapes Wei WuXian’s lips. “Strangely—or not so strangely—even in flames, the Patriarch realizes he has found his peace a long time ago; he has found his solace that he once thought of is an illusion.”

“…Where?”

Wei WuXian’s silver eyes are on Lan WangJi’s startled gold orbs as he says, slowly, “The Patriarch has found his peace with the Bearer’s presence, which explains why he let the Bearer see what the world refuses to see. The Patriarch has found his solace with the Bearer’s light—and oh, how the light silences the voices in his head! Even after days that the Bearer left him, the voices do not return—until they do, of course.

“And before the Patriarch closes his eyes and returns to the flames, he realizes that there is one more that he loves.”

(The audience hold their breaths, their hearts thudding.)

In a softer voice Wei WuXian says, closing his eyes, “He loved the Bearer, as ridiculous as it sounds.”

“The demon loved…the Bearer?” the yao chokes.

“He did, he did—oh, he did.”

(Lan WangJi’s heart seems to have stopped beating.)

“The Patriarch loved the Bearer when the former asked the latter to leave him alone; the Patriarch loved the Bearer when he made him see who he loves. The Patriarch loved the Bearer, blindingly so, which was one of the main reasons why he decided to let himself burn.”

(There is heartbreak in Lan WangJi’s soul as he hears this—why didn’t Wei WuXian tell him this? He could have saved him, he could have given him more, much more—)

“Did the Bearer know?”

“He has not known—and it is better if he had not known back then. The Patriarch thinks that a love of a demon is dangerous elixir, enough to cast off the light the Bearer brings.”

(Wei Ying! Lan WangJi protests. It is not poison, it is not, it is not—)

“Did the Bearer…love the Patriarch?”

(He did, so much, Lan WangJi wants to say. The Bearer was all too ready to sacrifice everything for the Patriarch to burn brightly still—)

“Will the Patriarch know, as he burns in Hell?

“But the knowledge that he loved the Bearer was enough—even though he knows that his final knowledge will be as fleeting as their meetings, the Patriarch knows that the truth he loved the Bearer was enough.”

“But they met again, right?!” It is Lan JingYi who reacts this time. “The Patriarch and the Bearer met again, didn’t they!?”

There is laughter in Wei WuXian’s eyes as he replies, “Yes, they do.” He meets Lan WangJi’s eyes again, a tender smile on his lips. “They do.”

“Did the Patriarch tell the Bearer he loved him?

“…Yes.”

“Did the Bearer…love him?”

“Quite surprisingly, the Bearer loved him before the Patriarch realized his own feelings.”

“And did the Patriarch know?”

Wei WuXian’s smile widens. “Yes.”

“Are they together now?”

“Yes.”

“Are they happy?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“And how do you know?”

Wei WuXian’s laughs—it reminds Lan WangJi of wind chimes tinkling in the spring breeze, warming up his heart and reminding him of the joy he basks in now.

“The Patriarch told you his story himself—and yet you choose to doubt?”

It is a moment before the yao understands, his eyes moving from Wei WuXian to Lan WangJi then back to Wei WuXian. “Oh.”

“But the Patriarch not a demon!” the yao protests. “It does not count—it does not count!”

(To which Lan WangJi wholeheartedly agrees.)

“Oh, he is,” Wei WuXian laughingly remarks. “Or so the world says. Anyway, if he is not a demon, then how come he speaks to you like one of his own?”

The yao frowns, unable (or not wanting) to answer.

Wei WuXian laughs once more before he says, “I have answered your question now, and so you must heed to my request.”

“What is it?”

Wei WuXian’s gaze morphs to that of someone familiar, of a figure nearly omnipotent and powerful. With a gentle smile yet a stern voice, the Patriarch utters, “Rest, and do not disturb us further.”

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #short fic #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #junior trio #self indulgent LMAO #happy birthday hanguang jun!!!

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afternoonteawithme · 5 years ago

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Lan Wangji’s Favorite Shade of Black

Fandom: MZDS / Pairing: WangXian / Rating: T / WC: 5206

(read it on AO3)

Music floated in the air as twilight fell across Cloud Recesses, escaping from the homes scattered across the mountain through doors left wide and open to the summer evening. Deep zither notes blended with lilting flute melodies, the soft traces of music mingling with the scent of gardenia as a gentle breeze rustled along the bushes lining the winding white stone paths.

The soft wind flowed onwards, the music it carried almost silent by the time it swirled into the courtyard of a small building set a little apart from the rest. Warm light poured out from inside, flashing against deep purple as it landed on the gentian dancing in the breeze.

Inside, a man dressed all in white sat straight-backed at a low desk. Here the scent of flowers gave way to the sandalwood incense burning in the corner, and the only sounds were the faint whisper of his brush smoothly gliding across paper and the murmuring of the two boys sitting together on the other side of the room.

Very deliberately Lan Wangji ignored the boys, and their conversation.

He’d caught just enough to know they were discussing whether they should ask him about something Lan Qiren had refused to explain, but otherwise he left them to themselves. His reasoning for allowing Sizhui to invite Lan Jingyi into their home - during the time usually allocated for the members of the Gusu Lan Sect to be alone with only their closest family - was so that Sizhui would grow up knowing what it was to enjoy spending time with his friends, so he felt censuring the boys or monitoring them too closely would be counter-productive.

Those precious days he and his brother had spent with their mother, before her death, had been nothing but memories for most of his adolescence. When he had spent his evenings with the few members of his family that still lived and were not in seclusion his time had been occupied with following in his brother’s footsteps, trying to in some way ease the burdens Lan Xichen carried as the heir to the Gusu Lan Sect.

The other disciples, whether of his own sect or visiting Cloud Recesses to study under his uncle, had been of no interest to him. He’d spent his entire childhood studying, training, rigidly learning the rules of his sect in the belief that everything in life would fall neatly into place so long as he followed those rules, without fail.

He’d been wrong. That had been a bloody, pain filled lesson to learn, one that had given him scars he would carry forever.

Lan Wangji didn’t want that for A-Yuan.

Sizhui, at twelve, was changing quickly from the boy he’d been into a young man Lan Wangji could only be proud of. He was clever, bright, gentle, and strong, and since his studies and cultivation progress were fast enough to satisfy the requirements of even the strictest of Lan elders Lan Wangji was largely allowed to raise him as he pleased. So while he’d treasured the time he spent alone with Sizhui, he’d started to encourage him to invite his closest friend as well.

Lan Jingyi’s parents gratefully gave up their own solitary time - likely in the hope that some of Sizhui’s calm demeanor would rub off on their unrestrained son.

Lan Wangji never told them that he hoped for the opposite.

So, while the books on the table in front of the two boys stayed mostly unread, and Lan Jingyi laughed perhaps a little more loudly than was appropriate at something Sizhui whispered into his ear, Lan Wangji simply carried on writing and left them to it.

Still, he registered the moment when the whispering stopped, and he heard the two boys cross the room to stand beside his desk. He glanced up, seeing from the look on their faces that they’d likely decided to ask him whatever they’d been arguing over.

“Speak.”

“Hanguang Jun, could you tell us about the Yiling Patriarch?”

Sizhui’s question hit Lan Wangji with an abruptness that knocked the air out of his lungs. His shock must have shown on his face, as he stared up into Sizhui’s open, innocently curious eyes, because Sizhui’s expression rapidly changed from curiosity to concern.

Lan Jingyi started to speak, but stopped when Sizhui gripped his wrist.

“It’s alright, Hanguang Jun. Actually, Grandmaster didn’t want us to talk about him, so there’s no need for us to know any more.”

Dropping his gaze away, Lan Wangji saw his hand, still holding his brush, frozen in the air halfway to his inkstone. Deliberately, he made his arm move, forcing himself to breathe as he dipped the brush into ink.

“It’s fine. Sit.”

The boys exchanged glances, and then quickly moved to sit in front of the desk.

“Why did you ask?” Not truly knowing what he was writing, but finding it impossible to do nothing, Lan Wangji let his hand move across the paper in front of him.

“One of the outside disciples asked Grandmaster about him in class today. He got…a little upset.” Sizhui spoke cautiously, but Lan Wangji had enough personal experience to know exactly how furious Lan Qiren became at the slightest mention of Wei Wuxian.

“I see.”

“He said that the Yiling Patriarch had followed a heretical path, threatening the entire cultivation world, and so the greater sects banded together to defeat him at great cost. He said that nothing else about him was worth discussing, so he wouldn’t speak of him anymore.”

“And then he told the disciple who asked about him to copy Virtue twice.” Lan Jingyi added.

Sizhui nodded, “Yes. And then, well, Jingyi…” He slid a sideways glance at his friend.

“I said that if the path he followed was really all that bad I didn’t understand why we still use his compass and talismans to night hunt.” Lan Jingyi shuddered a little at the memory. “He, uh, got a lot more angry. His face went really red. There was spit on my table.”

“He told Jingyi to copy Virtue five times, and Conduct too.”

Lan Wangji was only surprised Lan Qiren had stopped there. Since he felt calmer now, he let himself look over at the table where the two had been sitting, still covered in closed books and blank sheets of paper.

“And is that what you were doing?”

A little embarrassed, Lan Jingyi tugged at his ear. “Sorry, Hanguang Jun. I’ll do it in the morning. It doesn’t take me long to get through, I’ve had to do it so many times.”

Lan Wangji studied him, and in a corner of his mind decided he’d come up with something new the next time he had to punish the junior disciples. Simply copying was clearly no longer enough.

“But Grandmaster did tell us a little more after that.” Sizhui continued. “He said that the Yiling Patriarch’s methods had blackened his own soul, turning him into a monster who would corrupt anyone who got too close to him. He said that he’d even left his mark on the Gusu Lan Sect, though he wouldn’t say how, or who.”

Lan Jingyi nodded. “He just said that now the Yiling Patriarch couldn’t corrupt anyone but himself any more than he already had, so he was glad he was dead.”

At that, Lan Wangji’s brief calm scattered. His hands formed into fists, tightening, and tightening more until he felt the silent snap of the wooden brush he’d forgotten he still held.

Gently, carefully, he laid it down on the desk.

“He really wouldn’t say more after that. But after class the outside disciples were talking.” Lan Jingyi said. “One of the Lanling Jin Sect disciples, especially. He told everyone that the Yiling Patriarch was a traitor who defected after the Sunshot Campaign, and that a bunch of cultivators died because of him when they tried to defend themselves from the- well, he called them the Wen-dogs and-”

Lan Wangji’s head snapped up. “Don’t allow others to refer to them in that way.”

“Oh no, we didn’t.” Lan Jingyi glanced at Sizhui, who flushed a little and ducked his head. “Sizhui told them not to. That was when all the rest of the Jin disciples got huffy and tried to make Sizhui apologize, because they said he’d insulted Lianfang Zun’s cousin, and when he wouldn’t they tried to start a fight, which is even more stupid because Sizhui-” Lan Jingyi’s words cut off abruptly when he turned his head again and caught the wide-eyed alarm on Sizhui’s face. “Um- well. Anyway, Sizhui told him not to do that anymore. And no one fought anyone, at all.”

Sizhui didn’t quite meet Lan Wangji’s eyes as he hurriedly spoke. “All the disciples had stories about him digging up someone’s ancestor, or cursing some clan for offending him. Sect Leader Yao’s son said his father always talks about how ungrateful he was, how he would have been nothing at all if it weren’t for the Yunmeng Jiang Sect taking him in, and then he killed them all except for Sect Leader Jiang. But only because he killed him first.”

“Yes.” Lan Jingyi nodded, “But he also said his father told him that the Yiling Patriarch steals bad children away in the night if they don’t listen to their parents, and he still believes him, so I don’t think we can trust anything he says.”

“I suppose not. And a lot of the rest of the stories don’t really add up, like him going around and poisoning wells, or making food stores go rotten. If he really did half the things they said then he must have had a great deal of spare time on his hands.”

“I bet most of the rumors are made up.” Lan Jingyi snorted. “Like him stealing people’s wives.”

That caught Lan Wangji’s attention. “Stealing people’s wives?”

“Apparently some clan head’s wife was kidnapped by the Yiling Patriarch. But we think she ran off with him on her own and her husband was just too ashamed to tell everyone the truth.”

Considering, Lan Wangji angled his head. “Hm.”

“But…” Sizhui looked at Lan Wangji. “Even if most of the rumors about the things he did are made up, Grandmaster said that when the sects fought against him, especially at the end, a lot of people died. That part was true, wasn’t it?”

Lan Wangji studied Sizhui’s expression for a long second, before nodding.

“So he was an evil person?”

The question, said so simply, dug under Lan Wangji’s skin like a sharp, jagged blade. Not speaking, he dropped his gaze to the paper he’d been mindlessly writing on. To his utter shock he saw he’d drawn the characters for Wei Ying’s name.

Simply seeing that intimate name, so bold and black against the white of the paper, Lan Wangji felt his thoughts turn to smoke.

He hadn’t planned to explain Wei Ying to Sizhui yet. He hadn’t known how. If he couldn’t make his brother or his uncle understand the faith he felt in him, despite everything he’d done, how could he explain it in a way a child would accept? Especially A-Yuan. Lan Wangji couldn’t bear the idea of A-Yuan hating Wei Ying. Or worse, of him being glad he was dead.

And yet now the child he had watched Wei Ying carry in his arms was asking him, in all innocence and trust, if the man who had saved him had been evil.

When Lan Wangji lifted his head to meet Sizhui’s eyes, he found them calm and direct, as they nearly always were. Lan Jingyi beside him had his mouth clamped shut, though he looked as though he was almost vibrating in place while he waited for Lan Wangji to answer Sizhui’s question.

Somehow, even the silence of the room seemed be holding its breath, waiting for him to speak. But Lan Wangji’s head was empty of coherent thought, so even when he opened his mouth he had no idea what would come out.

“He was very irritating.”

The two young faces watching him showed almost as much surprise as Lan Wangji felt, and yet the words continued to pour out of him.

“He was loud, obnoxious, aggravating. Noisy. Completely shameless. Impossible to ignore. It was hard to focus on anything else, when he was beside you. He’d make you furious, and then he’d do something that made you feel as if he was the most remarkable person you’d ever met. And then he’d make you furious again.”

Lan Wangji dropped his eyes, studied the curving lines of black ink on the paper in front of him. “He was always laughing.”

“Laughing?” Sizhui asked, when Lan Wangji said nothing else.

“Mn. Even when the situation seemed terrible, he’d find something to laugh about.” Lan Wangji stared at the broken brush on his desk. There had been times Wei Ying hadn’t been able to laugh. He didn’t like remembering those times, since they held a great many of his own worst memories.

“He wasn’t a fool though, was he?” Lan Jingyi asked, leaning forward, unable to keep quiet any longer. “He couldn’t have done everything he did if he was.”

“He wasn’t. But he’d pretend to be one, if he needed to.”

Lan Jingyi frowned. “Why would he need to?”

“To protect himself, to protect others.” He ignored the blank looks on the boy’s faces. It was something he’d seen Wei Ying do again and again, but it was so alien to Lan Wangji’s own character that he knew he wouldn’t be able to explain it any more clearly. “Protecting others was…very important to Wei- to Wei Wuxian.”

“So that rumor about him defecting to the Qishan Wen Sect and defending it from the rest of the sects – that was true?”

Hesitating, Lan Wangji wondered how to explain. Especially to Sizhui, who would one day very much need to understand the truth behind that particular story.

“In a way, yes.”

“In a way?”

“The Qishan Wen Sect was destroyed in the Sunshot Campaign. After that, all that was left was the people.”

Sizhui suddenly frowned. “The people?”

“Oh, I think I know what you mean.” Lan Jingyi sat up straight, speaking eagerly as he turned to Sizhui. “Grandmaster told us that by the time Lianfang Zun killed Wen Ruohan, his sons and most of his generals were already dead, so there wasn’t really much fighting after that. The territory was divided between the other sects.” He looked up at Lan Wangji. “The people must have been taken in along with their lands, right?”

”No.” Sizhui spoke slowly, before Lan Wangji could say anything. “Remember, the disciple from Qinghe was talking about that today, after all the Jin disciples left? He said that some Lanling Jin clans actually used to be under the Qishan Wen Sect, which was why a few of them looked really uncomfortable when we were talking about the Yiling Patriarch defecting. He said that Sect Leader Nie had shown him records listing which of the clans bordering Qinghe had been brought in by Chifeng Zun because they’d already intermarried with Nie Sect clans before the Sunshot Campaign, but he told him some of the richer clans were taken in by the Lanling Jin Sect.”

“Then who did the Yiling Patriarch side with?”

“I think I- I might know what happened.” Sizhui started, and then shut his mouth.

Lan Wangji met his eyes again and saw, with both pride and a little regret, the understanding in them. “Go on.”

“Some clans would have been useful to the greater sects, especially the ones with more money, or with valuable cultivators.” As he spoke, Sizhui watched Lan Wangji’s face, reading his reactions. “Especially if they were powerful enough that their belongings couldn’t simply be seized. But not all of the clans under Qishan Wen would have had those resources. And not everyone would have belonged to a clan. The ones without, maybe – were those the people the Yiling Patriarch sided with?”

Lan Jingyi nodded. “It makes sense. I mean, if the other sects felt the Gusu Lan Sect had done something very wrong and attacked us tomorrow, what would happen to the ordinary people of Gusu? Or even retired cultivators, or former disciples who decided to go be farmers, or fishermen instead. They’d be in the way.”

Saying nothing, Lan Wangji watched the two young men as they, on their own, saw into the complexities of something that many of his own generation, and his uncle’s, still remained blind to.

Sizhui nodded. “I think the Yiling Patriarch must have had a strong sense of justice.”

Lan Jingyi made a face and elbowed Sizhui. “See? Told you those rumors were stupid. No one is that petty. And he sounds so much more interesting than all the other boring people Grandmaster goes on and on about all the time.” Abruptly, as if suddenly remembering who else was in the room, he shot Lan Wangji a slightly panicked look.

Sizhui spoke quickly, attracting Lan Wangji’s attention. “Was the Yiling Patriarch very weak, when he was younger? Was that why he chose to find other ways to gain power?”

Lan Wangji shook his head, slowly, as he let himself remember the past. “He ranked near the top whenever the clans competed. We fought a few times. He was a strong swordsman.”

“Better than you?” Lan Jingyi blurted out the question, his eyes wide.

“No.” Lan Wangji said immediately, and then paused for a moment before correcting himself. “I don’t know. At first we never fought to the end, so neither of us ever beat the other. And after the Sunshot Campaign he stopped carrying his sword.”

“If he was that good, why didn’t he use his sword anymore?”

It was a question Lan Wangji had asked over and over, and one Wei Ying had given him so many different answers to. He’d say he’d forgotten it. Or it had gotten in his way, so he’d set it down somewhere. He hadn’t felt like carrying it. It hadn’t matched his outfit. It was too easy to beat others and he’d gotten bored of everyone challenging him.

The more charitable people around them had said he was simply forgetful. More had called him out for being deliberately rude.

Lan Wangji had worried that he’d become too drunk on the power of the resentful spirits he’d learned to control to go back to using a simple sword, but even that answer had never fit any better than the ones Wei Ying had given him.

So, for now, Lan Wangji could only shake his head. “I don’t know. He used his flute, Chenqing, and he used the other talismans and tools he invented.”

Lan Jingyi sat up straight. “Talismans? Like the ones we’re learning to use when we go night hunting?”

“Mn.”

“There were others, like those?”

“He made many. The ones you use…they deviate from the orthodox, but are considered necessary evils. Others go too far. I doubt you’ll ever see them. But…” Lan Wangji hesitated, before continuing. “Some were different.”

“Different?”

“Mn. When we were young. He was always coming up with new things.” Lan Wangji looked into the boy’s eager faces, and wondered if it was selfish of him to want to show them this other side of Wei Ying.

But this was Wei Ying, to him, in all his complexity.

Making up his mind, he reached into his sleeve and drew out a talisman, activating and releasing it in one smooth motion.

A shimmering cloud of golden light exploded into the room. Sizhui and Lan Jingyi shot to their feet, their faces full of wonder as glittering butterflies filled the air

“In a fight, these distract, buy time to escape. They’re useful when there are people who can’t defend themselves close by.” Lan Wangji sat where he was, watching, remembering. He’d used this particular trick often, over the years. It had helped save him more than once.

A moment later, he realized that while Lan Jingyi was still staring up at the butterflies, awestruck, Sizhui had turned his head and was looking back at him instead.

“They’re very pretty.”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji nodded.

Sizhui smiled, softly, and his young eyes were full of understanding. “I think I have an idea of what kind of person the Yiling Patriarch was now.” He took Lan Jingyi’s arm to get his attention, and led him into a shallow bow. “Thank you for telling us. We’ll get back to work.”

Later, Lan Wangji sat alone.

He’d gone back to writing, with a new brush, while Sizhui had gotten Lan Jingyi through his copying. But Sizhui had left to bring Lan Jingyi home and the room had suddenly become far too quiet without the noise the two boys had been making to fill it.

Suddenly restless, Lan Wangji swept to his feet.

It was well past twilight and music was forbidden at night in Cloud Recesses, but that was one of the rules Lan Wangji had long since decided he couldn’t follow. Sitting in front of his guqin, he let his fingers start to play over the strings.

Music began to echo through the room. At first he kept to soothing, steadying songs, but when his mind refused to settle he began to pour the restlessness he felt, the turmoil beneath his rigid calm, out into the notes he played.

Bit by bit, he felt himself empty.

After a while, the music changed, becoming something close to peaceful, and Lan Wangji saw a movement in the doorway. He looked up, and found Sizhui standing just outside, watching him.

He placed his hands across the strings to quiet them.

“Did you bring Lan Jingyi home?”

Sizhui nodded, and then hesitated for a moment, before speaking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

There was no denying it, even if Lan Wangji had thought there was a good reason he should. “It’s alright to be sad, sometimes.”

“Yes, I know. You taught me that.” Smiling softly, Sizhui walked into the room and dropped down lightly to sit beside Lan Wangji at the guqin table. “I’m still sorry for it.”

He said nothing else, and after a moment Lan Wangji began to play again. This time he played another song, one he’d made when Sizhui had been young and hadn’t wanted to go to sleep.

It was a long while before Sizhui spoke. “Hanguang Jun, there is one thing I don’t understand. Can I ask you another question?”

“Mn.”

“Why did you oppose him so strongly?”

Still playing, Lan Wangji let himself put his words together in his head before he spoke. “For a while, I wasn’t sure he was the same as he’d always been. I thought the power he used had changed him. Or would.”

“So you fought against him.”

“At first.” Lan Wangji nodded. “But not at the end. I realized the core of him had not changed, even though his methods were dangerous.” To others, and to Wei Ying himself.

Sizhui studied him. “But not evil.”

Lan Wangji’s fingers stopped playing, and he sat still, watching the strings continue to vibrate for a long moment.

“What is evil?”

Instantly, he wished he could take the words back. He lifted his head, his lips forming an apology, but Sizhui was already speaking.

“I guess there isn’t a simple answer to that, is there?” Drawing his legs up beneath him in a pose he only used when it was the two of them alone, Sizhui settled himself more comfortably. “You could look at someone’s actions, or the effects of their actions, but I don’t think that would give you an answer either. I mean, good people must do bad things sometimes, or the other way around.”

He wasn’t watching Lan Wangji, so he missed the startled shock on his face as he continued. “Like Jingyi. Last week he was playing around and tripped one of the older disciples. He broke his arm, so he can’t go night hunting for a few months and he’s going to be behind the rest of his class, and he can’t write so Grandmaster has him standing up and answering all his exam questions out loud, in front of everybody, and he’s doing really, really badly at it. But then there was that disciple who was expelled last month because he stole someone else’s food from home, and then he lied and tried to make it look like a maid took it. Jingyi maybe caused more lasting harm, but didn’t get expelled. He just got yelled at a lot, and has to run around helping the older disciple all day.”

Shrugging easily, Sizhui’s eyes were still on the night sky outside the open door as he continued. “I think evil would probably have to come from people’s intentions, and those are really hard to see. Until you know someone really well, anyway.” He turned his head to look up at Lan Wangji, and smiled. “I trust you. If you trusted him, then I will too, for now, until I see a good reason to change my mind. Does that work?”

“Mn. I think it works very well.” Lips curving, Lan Wangji reached out to adjust Sizhui’s perfectly straight forehead ribbon. “I think that’s enough questions now. It’s close to nine. Go, get ready for bed.”

Instantly, Sizhui’s too adult expression changed into something a great deal younger. “But I have more questions. Can’t I stay up?”

“More questions. Really?”

Sizhui giggled, a sound that had become rare enough as he grew older that it tugged at Lan Wangji’s heart every time he heard it. “No. But I can come up with some.”

“Go to sleep, Sizhui. I’ll see you in the morning.”

After Sizhui was gone, Lan Wangji stood in the open doorway of his home. He watched his mother’s purple gentian dance in the soft, warm breeze, and thought of Wei Ying.

A monster with a black soul? No. He didn’t believe that.

He’d had too long to remember every moment they’d known each other. He’d traced through all the times Wei Ying had thrown himself into danger for his sister, his brother, for random cultivators on the battlefields whose names he’d never even known. For Wen Ning. For A-Yuan.

The times he’d risked himself for Lan Wangji.

When Wei Ying had come back so changed after the burning of Lotus Pier and the endless months he’d been missing, Lan Wangji had felt torn apart, uncertain of everything. Wei Ying had started down a path that had left him alone against the rest of the world, and the rules Lan Wangji had governed his life by told him he had to stand on the side of the world.

He’d fractured himself apart with his own uncertainty, and by the time he’d put himself back together it had been too late. Wei Ying had been dead. If there was any way Lan Wangji could go back and tell his younger self to dive in, to stand firmly beside Wei Ying the way he’d so desperately wanted to back then, he’d go in an instant.

He knew that if he ever had the chance again, in another life, he’d throw every fragment of his soul in beside Wei Ying’s.

There was no more uncertainty left. He’d go against the universe itself if he had to.

Turning his face up to the sky, Lan Wangji took in a deep breath, and for the moment, since he was alone, let himself feel the depths of the sorrow and longing that lived inside his soul, always.

Present.

There were tears on Lan Wangji’s face when he woke. Blinking into the darkness of his room, he heard again the rustling that must have woken him an instant before Wei Ying’s freezing body dove under the blankets and burrowed in beside him.

The nose pressing into the crook of his neck was as cold as ice. Lan Wangji stroked his hands down Wei Ying’s back, feeling the cold radiating off of him. “How did it go?”

“Freezing.” Wei Ying nestled in closer to Lan Wangji. “But the juniors did well.”

“Was it a ghost?”

“Uh huh.” Yawning, Wei Ying’s body started to relax against Lan Wangji’s. “You’ve got a good batch there. The ghost turned out to be the late wife of the man who asked us for help. She was haunting him because he’d opened up her grave to steal her jewelry, to give it to the woman he’s been trying to talk into marrying him. I was happy to leave him to her, once we figured out what was happing. Jingyi was too.” Wei Ying snorted, and then paused, considering. “Actually, maybe I’ve corrupted the rest of them too because I think they mostly all felt the same way. I sort of wished Jin Ling or Ouyang Zizhen were they, they’d probably have run the guy through before Sizhui talked us all out of it.”

He sighed, and pressed his face against the heat of Lan Wangji’s chest. “He pointed out the poor dead wife didn’t deserve to be stuck to the man for the rest of her existence, so we returned all her jewelry and helped her rest. I did enjoy putting the fear of me into the husband, though. He’ll leave her things alone now. And I suppose Sizhui had a point about it being the right thing to do.”

His hair tickled Lan Wangji’s nose as he shook his head. “Honestly, that boy almost always is right. It makes me mad at you, sometimes. How’d you get to raise such a smart kid?”

“He was smart when I got him.”

Wei Ying raised his head, and moonlight sparkled in his eyes as he grinned at Lan Wangji. The grin vanished in an instant the moment he saw Lan Wangji’s face.

“You were crying? What’s wrong?” Panicked, he pushed himself up until he could sweep his hands over Lan Wangji’s cheeks.

“It’s alright. Just a memory.”

“A bad one?”

“No, not really.” Not anymore.

Wei Ying waited, and when Lan Wangji said nothing more, rolled his eyes. “Lan Zhan. Are you going to tell me about it, or not?”

Lan Wangji’s lips curved. “Not.”

Wei Ying huffed out a breath, but there was relief on his face as he saw Lan Wangji truly did not look unhappy. And then he blinked, and grinned as mischief grew in his eyes. He lifted one leg to drape it teasingly over Lan Wangji’s hips. “Maybe I can convince you to talk?”

In one quick move, Lan Wangji flipped their bodies, until he was looking down at Wei Ying beneath him.

“Fine, fine. Keep your secrets.” Laughing up at him, Wei Ying lifted his fingers to trace them over Lan Wangji’s face.

Lan Wangji pressed his cheek into the palm of Wei Ying’s hand, and felt a happy warmth grow in his chest, dispelling the very last echoes of remembered sadness. He smiled down at Wei Ying.

And decided that the color of Wei Ying’s eyes, as he laughed up at him in the dark, truly were his favorite shade of black.

#the untamed #mdzs #wangxian #mdzs fanfiction #elliemoran #my fanfiction #angst and fluff with a happy ending #i think this may be the first canon compliant fic i've ever written?#it feels like a v different experience

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hugorafferty · 4 years ago

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(PAUL MESCAL, CIS MALE) - Have you seen HUGO RAFFERTY? HUGHIE is in HIS JUNIOR year. The BIOLOGY (PRE-MED) MAJOR is 21 years old & is a LIBRA. People say HE is HARD WORKING, COOPERATIVE, INSECURE and UPTIGHT. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that HE PLANTED DRUGS ON HIS BROTHER, SO HE WOULD GET IN TROUBLE WITH THE POLICE AND LOSE THEIR FATHER’S RESPECT.

tw: drug mention, death mention

hugo was a born and bred texas boy. he was the youngest child of lucy and lawrence rafferty. he had two older brothers (lawson and lucas). he looked up to them growing up until it became evident his father favored lawson.

his father had created an oil empire. the other oil companies bowed down to his might. he needed the perfect son to take over the business when he passed, so lawson became his prodigy. he accompanied him to business meetings and on every business trip. they ate lunch together and watched movies together.

lucas took after their mother. he was sweet-tempered, but spineless. neither of them would dare defy the patriarch. lucas was coddled and given everything he ever wished for.

that left hugo with nothing. he wasn’t the favorite. he was barely a blip on his parents rader. lawrence and lucy agreed it would be best if they had three bouncing baby boys – the picture of the perfect american family. the boys were well-groomed with their hair combed as they wore their little suits to family dinners. they played instrutments and sports and talked to their parents in a language other than english. his parents wanted hugo to be up to their standards, but after that, he was forgotten.

hugo wanted nothing more in his life than to win his father’s approval. he thought if he worked long enough or tried hard enough, he would earn his father’s love. instead of reading bedtime stories, he read business textbooks. instead of having an imaginary friend, he hosted pretend board meetings. he was a businessman in the making.

one day, he overheard lawrence tell lucas that he would love to see a surgeon or lawyer in the family. lawson was going to be a businessman, so he wanted his son to take a job as another well-respected professional. from that moment forward, hugo moved on to studying the sciences.

he hated them. thought they were boring and overly confusing, but he stuck with it. he would pull all-nighters or do whatever it took to pull out the high a in his class. he’d come home, a proud smile on his face, ready to brag to his parents, but they barely spared him a glance, distracted by the older rafferty children. this spurred him to keep working, to achieve something they would be proud of.

he cracked. he reached his breaking point because nothing he ever did was enough. he had this yearning to be the star child, the one his parents loved and doted on, but it felt like he was grasping for air. he talked to his friend, who talked to his friend, who talked to his friend who knew a drug dealer. like everything, he had to go big or go home. he bought black tar heroin, and planted it on his brother. he dropped an anonymous tip to the police and lucas was arrested. lawson was untouchable, but at least hugo could make it so he was next in line.

of course, lucas was bailed out, but he shamed the family, was a disgrace to their father, a disgrace to the rafferty name. now, hugo got more attention but not as much as he craved.

as he graduated high school, hugo walked across the stage and his smile faltered. for a moment, he lost all sense of purpose. he didn’t know what he was doing or why he was doing it. it was all pointless. but in a flash, he smiled as he accepted his diploma and he smiled through his valedictorian speech, but his heart was racing the entire time.

hugo is a nice guy. he is always trying to do the right thing and (usually) be morally upstanding. all he wants is to make his parents proud so he works as hard as humanly possible. he tries to see everyone as his equals, but he gets annoyed when he feels people are prioritizing partying over schoolwork, or generally have different priorities than him. he keeps working to cover up the fact that he has no real ambition in life. he has always made choices according to what he thinks his family will like, so he doesn’t know what he likes

HEADCANNONS

surprise, surprise his dad went to yates so he went to yates

literally hates biology. really struggled in school at first because he was so used to being the best, and now everyone is good and he’s not even passionate about what he’s learning. the thought of him getting anything below a 90 doesn’t sit well with him, so he takes advantage of every resource he can

can count the number of parties he’s been to on one hand. has always seen them as distractions and thinks his father would disapprove

feels guilty about what he did to his brother, but not so guilty because honestly no real consequences came from it. no one found out it was him though, and he’d like to keep it that way

struggling more and more as he is away from his family and feels less pressure to impress them. this makes him worried because he’s so directionless, so he throws himself into his work even more

HATES to be called hughie!! his brothers would say it in a condscending manner (emphazing he is the odd one out with an h name)

never been in a real relationship. he would go out with girls with well-known families in an attempt to impress his father and then break it off when that didn’t work. has never been on more than three dates with anyone

(tw: homophobia mention) bisexual but doesn’t really know. his father has very traditional values of dating and what it means to be a family, so he’s only ever thought about dating girls

WANTED CONNECTIONS

dissolve: someone who hugo really liked, maybe even loved. someone hugo didn’t think his father would approval of. it was a ‘will they, won’t they’ situation, but he was too scared to make a move. he ended the friendship for some petty reason, but he still aches for this person in his life.

being so normal: someone he used to be close with. they understood each other and brought out the best in each other. but your muse changed, and hugo feels like he doesn’t recognize them anymore.

the dark of the matinee: someone who is very different from him – wild, doesn’t care about expectations, etc. someone who he has managed to click with despite these differences. they try to get him to become more relaxed, though he is resistant to this.

we have to move on: a one night stand – hugo’s first and only. it was a moment of weakness, when he was feeling down and like he’d never be good enough. now he can’t stop seeing this muse. it’s awkward because he wants to pretend it never happened, but that seems to be impossible.

i’m down for brainstorming as well as things like friends, exs, enemies, someone his family is fond of, etc!!

#yatesintro #// i was inspired for this #// i'll probably edit miriam's intro soon now

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wilddaydreamingcat · 4 years ago

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The Untamed Episode 1- translation of Chinese subs

The Untamed - Episode 1

Please do not post this anywhere else, thank you.

[Sixteen Years Ago]

Gossiper: Wei Wuxian is dead!

Gossiper: That’s great news!

Gossiper: It’s good that he’s been killed! That calls for a celebration indeed! If not for the Yunmeng Jiang Sect leading the extermination for the greater good, by combining their forces with the three great clans, Gusu Lan, Lanling Jin and Qinghe Nie, the scourge Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian would not have been killed on the spot.

Gossiper: That’s right. Previously, the Yunmeng Jiang Clan took him in out of kindness. No one expected him to cause such calamity.*

*Translation note: 养虎为患 (yǎng hǔ wéi huàn): lit to nurture a tiger that invites calamity.

[Wei Ying, courtesy name – Wuxian]

Gossiper: On the contrary, he openly defected and made an enemy out of every clan, and almost caused the entire Jiang Clan to be tragically destroyed. If I were Jiang Cheng, I would have stabbed him to death at the beginning.

Cultivator: I’ve got the Stygian Tiger Amulet!

Cultivator: The Stygian Tiger Amulet!

[Lan Zhan, courtesy name – Wangji]

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan. Let me go. Jiang Cheng.

[Jiang Cheng, courtesy name – Wanyin]

Jiang Cheng: Wei Wuxian! Go and die!

Storyteller: Speaking of Wei Wuxian, 16 years ago, he was once a talented young master of great repute amongst the cultivation clans. Becoming famous when young, he was such an impressive and unrestrained man. Yet, look what happened to him in the end. Falling off a cliff, his body never found. Consigned to eternal damnation with no hope of recovery.

________________________

[Sixteen Years Later]

Lan Jingyi: Storyteller, according to what you said,

[Lan Jingyi, Gusu Lan Clan]

did the Yiling Patriarch Wei Wuxian really die?

Storyteller: He had indeed fallen off the cliff. However, in the past 16 years, despite having thoroughly searched the bottom of the cliff, young Clan Leader Jiang has never found his body.

[Lan Yuan, courtesy name – Sizhui]

It is rumoured that, the Yiling Patriarch had the ability to transform nature, cause utter chaos and destruction.* Therefore, although we’ve had 16 years of peace, who can say for certain that the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian will not return to life on this day?

*Translation note: 翻天灭地 (fān tiān miè dì): lit to overturn the skies and destroy the earth 移山倒海 (yí shān dǎo hǎi): lit move mountains and empty seas

[Yong Xian Pavilion]

Strange person: Return! O soul! Go not to the realm below! Return! O soul! Go not to the realm below!

___________________________

[Mo Manor]

Mo Xuanyu’s spirit: Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu!

Wei Wuxian: Who? Who’s calling?

Mo Xuanyu’s spirit: Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu!

Wei Wuxian: Who? Who’s calling?

Mo Xuanyu’s spirit: Mo Xuanyu. Mo Xuanyu!

Wei Wuxian: Mo... Who’s Mo Xuanyu?

Mo Xuanyu’s spirit: You are Mo Xuanyu. I’ve put all my effort into saving your life. From now on, you are Mo Xuanyu.

Wei Wuxian: No, I’m not. I am...

Mo Xuanyu’s spirit: I had no other choice. I did not want to use the Body Sacrificial Curse on you. However... they have bullied me beyond breaking point. Kill them for me. Kill them for me! Wei Wuxian, help me take revenge!

Mo Servant: Hurry up! Let’s go.

Wei Wuxian: Who’s this?

Mo Servant: Get lost!

Wei Wuxian: How dare you kick me, the Patriarch? You have a lot of nerve.

Mo Ziyuan: How dare you tell on me! Do you really think that I’m afraid of your complaint? Just think, who gave you a place to live! Who gave you rice to eat! Who gave you money to spend!

[Mo Ziyuan]

So what if I took a few things from you? Everything you have is mine!

Mo Servant: Young Master, we’ve smashed everything.

Mo Ziyuan: That was quick. Did you find the cultivation tools?

Mo Servant: This is all we found in this wrecked house.

Mo Ziyuan: Hiding these torn up papers like treasure. You think you are great because you were with the Lanling Jin Clan for a few years? They are never going to acknowledge a bastard like you! Eventually, you still got driven out like a dog! As your cousin,* I’ll give you some advice. Don’t follow the example of your deadbeat mother. Stop daydreaming. Bitches will always be bitches. You will never climb your way into the glory of the Lanling Jin Clan.

*Translation note: subtitles use 表哥 (biǎo gē): older male cousin, indicating that Mo Ziyuan is actually older than Mo Xuanyu.

Mo Servant: Young Master, the cultivators for the cleansing have arrived at the main hall. Madam asked you to come over.

Mo Ziyuan: Good.

Wei Wuxian: Mo Xuanyu, Mo Xuanyu. I was contented to be dead. Why did you save me? You even used the Body Sacrificial Curse on me. What kind of intense hatred did you have? Even so, as the Yiling Patriarch, I was a wretched ingrate, deranged and frenzied, perfectly suitable for exacting vengeance. One scar for one life. As long as his enemies are alive, these scars will never heal. Couldn’t you just let me stay dead.

A-Tong: You...

Wei Wuxian: I... I...

A-Tong: I...what? Crazy Mo, who let you out? Get back inside now!

Wei Wuxian: I...

I’m Mo Xuanyu?

A-Tong: If you’re not Mo Xuanyu, who else would you be? Let me tell you, stop daydreaming. Even if you can climb to the highest position, you will always be a bastard.* Why aren’t you wearing that crappy mask today?

*Translation note: 你就算飞上枝头，也变不了凤凰。- lit ‘Even if you flew to the highest branch, you’ll never turn into a phoenix.’

Wei Wuxian: Do I always wear a mask?

A-Tong: Hey nutcase, while you’re still sane right now, why not tell me, what did the Lanling Jin Clan do to you? Why did you change so much after returning from that Carp Tower? Since then, you’re either powdering your face or wearing a mask. What? Too ashamed?

Wei Wuxian: How old was I when I went to Carp Tower?

A-Tong: Thirteen years old. Why are you asking this?

Wei Wuxian: Nothing. I’m going off now.

A-Tong: Where are you going? I...you, come back here! How dare you run off! I... will

Wei Wuxian: The peanuts are not as tasty compared to 16 years ago.

Mo servant: Recently, something evil has been causing trouble. Many people have been killed. Madam has long expected your visit. This way please.

Wei Wuxian: What a coincidence. The Gusu Lan Clan arrived right after Mo Xuanyu saved me. Is he here as well?

[Xiao Ao Dong Hall]*

*Translation Note: 啸 (xiào): whistle 傲 (ào): brave/proud 东 (dōng): east 轩 (xuān): hall/pavilion Erm... translated as Eastern Hall of Whistling Pride?

Madam Mo: Please accept our thanks, cultivation masters, for coming to Mo Manor to cleanse evil spirits. I have long heard that members of the Gusu Lan Clan are well instructed on morals, and elegant in bearing. I have seen for myself today that your reputation is truly well-deserved.*

*Translation Note: Madam Mo speaks very formally here; hence I’ve tried to write in formal English (no short forms, no apostrophes, businesslike language) here to reflect her politeness. She gets very rude later on though.

Master Mo: Indeed, indeed.

[Master Mo] [Madam Mo]

Madam Mo: Speaking of which, the Mo Clan has an affinity with the cultivation masters, unlike other commoners. Our household has a junior member who had once received instruction from a cultivation clan. If the cultivation masters here could stay over for a few days, our clan...

Wei Wuxian: I’m here! I was wondering who called me. In the Mo Clan, aren’t I the one who has the most affinity with cultivators?

Madam Mo: Who let him out? Get rid of him, quickly.

Master Mo: Get lost.

Wei Wuxian: I... I’m not leaving!

Onlooker: Look.

Wei Wuxian: I’m not leaving! Not leaving! I’m not leaving here!

Onlooker: How embarrassing.

Wei Wuxian: I’m not leaving, not leaving!

Mo Ziyuan: Leave now!

Wei Wuxian: I’m not leaving, not leaving!

Mo Ziyuan: Leave!

Wei Wuxian: Let go!

Mo Ziyuan: LEAVE!

Wei Wuxian: Let go of me! Not leaving! I’m not leaving!

Mo Ziyuan: Leave!

Wei Wuxian: Let go of me! I’m not leaving! Stop pulling me!

Wei Wuxian: Let go of me! I...

Mo Ziyuan: Leave! Get lost now!

Wei Wuxian: I’m not going back!

Mo Ziyuan: Leave! Stop going crazy!

Madam Mo: My nephew has been mentally ill since young. Please, I hope you do not mind this.

Wei Wuxian: I’m not going back!

Mo Ziyuan: Mo Xuanyu, you damned nutcase! Get lost, or you’ll get it from me later! A-Tong, get rid of him now!

Wei Wuxian: I’ll go if you want. But only if you returned the things you stole from me.

Mo Ziyuan: Nonsense! When did I ever steal from you? Why the hell would I steal from you?

Wei Wuxian: Fine! You didn’t steal! You robbed me!

Onlooker: Look at this person.

Onlooker: What’s happening?

Onlooker: Look at this.

Onlooker: How can this be?

Onlooker: It’s so embarrassing.

Wei Wuxian: It hurts! It hurts! Come here and see this! I don’t want to live anymore!

Onlooker: This...seriously...

Wei Wuxian: Madam Mo was filled with hatred and gathered the entire household to bully me, her nephew!

Mo Ziyuan: I didn’t kick him.

Wei Wuxian: I don’t want to live anymore!

Onlooker: This footprint. There’s no way Mo Xuanyu can kick himself, right? After all, he is still a blood relation of the Mo Clan. Your relatives are so cruel!

Onlooker: That’s true. When he first returned home, he wasn’t this crazy. He was most likely driven mad.

Onlooker: Right.

Mo Ziyuan: You damned madman! Who gave you so much guts? Shut the hell up!

Wei Wuxian: I can shut up, once you return the things you took from me. Or you can kneel down and kowtow a few times to me.

Onlooker: What a scandal!

Wei Wuxian: Did all of you see this? He stole my things and beat me up! He has no conscience!

Lan Sizhui: Young master, you can speak openly to us.

Madam Mo: Master cultivator, this is my sister’s son. He is mentally ill. The entire household knows about it. He’s been like this since young and often talks nonsense. Please don’t take it seriously.

Wei Wuxian: How dare you say that my words can’t be taken seriously. I’ll say this again. From now on, if anyone dares to steal my things again, I’ll break one of your arms. You hear that?

Mo Ziyuan: You!

Master Mo: Stop this!

Wei Wuxian: Everyone, I’m leaving now. Excuse me.

Onlooker: Now what?

Onlooker: Let’s go.

Lan Sizhui: Madam Mo, let us discuss our business. We ask for your permission to use your west courtyard tonight. Please remember not to walk around the premises after night fall. And more importantly, do not go near that courtyard.

Madam Mo: Yes. Thank you for your hard work.

Mo Ziyuan: Mother! This madman maligned me in front of everyone! I’m not letting this go! Didn’t you say before that he’s just a bastard!

Madam Mo: Shut your mouth!

Mo Ziyuan: This madman is so dead!

Madam Mo: Master cultivator, this way.

Wei Wuxian: Why does it taste like water? Do I really have to kill off the entire clan?

Mo servant: This way.

Wei Wuxian: The Stygian Lure Flag?

Lan Sizhui: Everyone, come over here. Later, both of us will be at the west rooftop. The two of you will be at the east rooftop. Let’s go up and do a reconnaissance. We should try to arrange the Stygian Lure Flags at the high points around the roof. After placing them... ...at midnight...

Wei Wuxian: Although all the cultivation clans wanted me dead, the things made by the Yiling Patriarch are still being used.

Lan Sizhui: ...if they come from the east... we can converge against them at all four directions. Take care not to alarm the residents of Mo Manor. Also, we need someone to guard the corridor here and that roof over there. Remain vigilant at all times. Keep calm and focused. Do not get affected by evil energy.

Lan Jingyi: What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here. Stop it! You’re not allowed to take that!

Wei Wuxian: No! I must have this!

Lan Jingyi: Return it, otherwise I’ll hit you!

Wei Wuxian: I won’t return it! I must have this!

Lan Sizhui: Jingyi, it’s all right. Just talk to him gently and take it back. There’s no need to argue.

Lan Jingyi: I’m not intending to hit him anyway. Look at him, he’s messed up the formation.

Wei Wuxian: The motifs are drawn correctly and the spell lines are not lacking. There are no errors. This will work without problems. However, the person who drew this lacked experience. This incantation will only attract evil spirits at most at a distance of five li (about 2.5 kilometres). It should be enough.

Lan Sizhui: Young Master Mo, it’s getting dark soon. We are about to start capturing evil spirits, so you should hurry back to your room. It’s dangerous at night. No matter what you hear tonight, please do not come outside. Young Master Mo, what’s wrong?

Wei Wuxian: It’s just a crappy flag! Who cares! I can draw better than all of them!

Lan Jingyi: He really is a nutcase.

Lan Sizhui: Don’t say that. Let’s just finish our job.

Lan Jingyi: Let’s go. We’ll have a look over there. Look over there, the flag formation should start from there and continue all the way here.

Lan disciple: Over there?

Lan Jingyi: Yes.

A-Tong: Young Master, the cultivators told us not to go outside and not to come to the west courtyard.

Mo Ziyuan: How do I get back at him if I don’t come here? Go, get that black flag for me.

A-Tong: But the cultivators said...

Mo Ziyuan: Idiot. They are just afraid that someone would steal their precious cultivation items, that’s why they frightened us on purpose. Look at those cultivators, they are all holding a black flag. Hurry up and go!

A-Tong: Young Master, I got the flag.

Mo Ziyuan: Let’s go.

Lan Sizhui: Jingyi, this tune seems very familiar. It sounds like a melody from Gusu. Did we hear it from somewhere?

Lan Jingyi: That’s unlikely, it’s being played so horribly. I haven’t heard it before.

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan.

Mo Servant: Drag him out and report him to the officers!

Mo Servant: Yes!

Mo Servant: Right!

Master Mo: What officers? Beat him to death!

Mo Servant: Yes!

Wei Wuxian: It hurts!

Mo Servant: Move!

Wei Wuxian: Be gentler!

Master Mo: What’s happening?

Mo Servant: I don’t know either, Master.

Wei Wuxian: I’m done for. The Mo household has never seen Mo Xuanyu as an adult, but the members of the Gusu Lan Clan may recognise me.

Master Mo: What should we do now?

Lan Sizhui: Young Master Mo, why don’t you get up?

Master Mo: Ziyuan!

A-Tong: Master cultivator!

Wei Wuxian: A puppet.

Mo Servant: What should we do, Master?

Master Mo: This...

Madam Mo: Yuan-er!* It’s you! Definitely you!

*Translation Note: Madam Mo calls the last character of Mo Ziyuan’s name and adds 儿 (ér = child) to it as a form of endearment and familiarity. In wuxia stories, the parents often use that way to address their children.

Lan Jingyi: He’s being possessed by an evil spirit!

Lan Sizhui: It’s not that simple. Look at the black veins on his neck, it looks like some kind of special markings.

A-Tong: No. He murdered two people within the time of one incense stick!* Master cultivator, save us!

*Translation note: One stick of incense: An ancient way of measuring time in a lot of wuxia stories. One stick of incense = 15-30 min of time.

Wei Wuxian: Stop!

Lan Sizhui: Madam Mo!

Madam Mo: He turned my son into this! Why are you stopping me?

Wei Wuxian: Why would I have anything to do with your son becoming like this?

Lan Sizhui: Madam Mo, your son’s condition is due to damage of his spiritual senses. It is caused by evil spirits. This person did not do it.

Madam Mo: What would you know? This madman’s father is a cultivator! He has learnt a lot of evil spells! I...

Lan Sizhui: Madam Mo, there is no proof, so...

Madam Mo: Proof? My son becoming like this, isn’t it proof? This madman said if Yuan-er touched his things, he would break one of his arms! How pitiful, Our Yuan-er has never stolen any of his things. He has not only framed my son, he’s even caused him so much harm!

Wei Wuxian: You brought this on yourself.* You even dared to steal these things. No wonder you got possessed by evil spirits.

*Translation Note: 自作孽不可活- 自 (zì) -self 作孽 (zuò niè) -does evil 不可 (bù kě) -cannot/should not 活 (huó) -live lit: One who does evil deserves death

Madam Mo: Yuan-er, my poor Yuan-er. What on earth did you do to my son?

Lan Sizhui: Do not worry, he is merely unconscious.

Madam Mo: You useless things! What kind of cultivators are you! Can you even cleanse evil spirits! You can’t even protect a child!

Wei Wuxian: Ptooi! (spitting sound) You really treat these people as your servants? They journeyed here over a long distance to help you cleanse evil spirits without asking for a single cent. May I ask how old is your son? He should be around twenty this year, right? Doesn’t he understand human language? Wasn’t he told repeatedly last night not to touch anything here and not to go to the courtyard? On the contrary, he went out to sneak around.* It’s his fault, not mine!

*Translation Note: 偷鸡摸狗 tōu jī mō gǒu: lit to imitate the dog and steal chicken (idiom)

Madam Mo: You... Go, call everyone here! Why are you blanking out? Go!

Master Mo: Get lost!

Madam Mo: What are you doing? How dare you disobey! Get out!

A-Tong: Master, let’s go.

Madam Mo: Get lost! A-Ding, help the young master to his room, hurry!

Mo Servant: Young Master.

Mo Servants: Madam!

Lan Jingyi: What on earth is this thing?

Lan Sizhui: This evil spirit is savage, we must send a signal to Hanguang-Jun quickly.

Mo Servants: Madam!

Wei Wuxian: Hanguang-Jun? Are you talking about Hanguang-Jun, Lan Zhan?

Lan Jingyi: But Hanguang-Jun did not tell us where he was going before he left.

Wei Wuxian: Wait a moment, did you say Hanguang-Jun is nearby?

Lan Sizhui: It doesn’t matter. Let’s discuss after we send the signal.

Wei Wuxian: Wait a moment, there no need to bother Hanguang-Jun.

Lan Jingyi: But what should we do if he doesn’t arrive on time? We don’t even know what on earth this is.

Wei Wuxian: Really, there’s no need to bother him, I can resolve this.

Lan Sizhui: We must defend till our last breath and wait for him.

Wei Wuxian: I say... Looks like I need to resolve this quickly. These black veins are obviously traces left behind by the Stygian Tiger Amulet. However, the Amulet’s already been destroyed. What on earth is causing evil here?

Mo Servant: A-Tong, you’ve woken up.

Wei Wuxian: Get back! Look at his neck.

Mo Servant: There’s a ghost! A ghost! There’s a... There’s an invisible ghost here! It’s him... He’s the one who made A-Tong strangle himself to death!

Wei Wuxian: There’s no ghost.

Lan Sizhui: Everyone quiet! Their left arms are all broken.

Lan Jingyi: This madman. How can you still laugh at this moment?

Wei Wuxian: I’m not.

Lan Jingyi: Stop making a scene, no one will bother with you.

Wei Wuxian: He’s not Mo Ziyuan’s father, and that’s not A-Tong.

Lan Sizhui: Why?

Wei Wuxian: Their hands. None of them are left-handed. They always hit me with their right hands. I’m very clear about this point.

Lan Jingyi: What’s there to be proud of? You look so pleased with yourself.

Lan Sizhui: I see. The evil spirit hid in their left hands. Can I trouble all of you to raise up your left hands. It’s afraid of our protective talismans. Take off your robes!

Wei Wuxian: Wake up, it’s time to work.

Lan Sizhui: Jingyi!

[Lan Zhan, courtesy name – Wangji]

Lan Jingyi: Hanguang-Jun!

Wei Wuxian: So he still dresses like he’s in mourning.*

*Translation note: In China, mourning clothes are usually in white, which is the colour of Lan Zhan’s usual robes.

Lan disciples: Hanguang-Jun!

Lan Sizhui: Hanguang-Jun, That thing was utterly savage, what manner of evil spirit was that?

Lan Wangji: This is not an evil spirit. It is the spiritual entity of an exceptional spiritual weapon that was hiding within a sword, most likely a sword spirit.

Lan Jingyi: An exceptional spiritual weapon? Why does it have so much resentment?

Lan Sizhui: Hanguang-Jun, this is...

Lan Wangji: The Stygian Tiger Amulet.

Lan Sizhui: The Stygian Tiger Amulet? Do you mean that the sword spirit has traces of the Stygian Tiger Amulet?

Lan JIngyi: During the battle at Nightless City, the Stygian Tiger Amulet was destroyed. Unless... Unless the Yiling Patriarch really did not die?

Lan Sizhui: Where’s Young Master Mo?

Lan Wangji: Wei Ying, is it really you?

_____________________________

Storyteller: Thank you, young sir. I didn’t expect that after telling the story of the Yiling Patriarch for three days, I would receive a piece of gold. I’m rich!

Strange person: Return! O soul! Go not to the realm below! Return! O soul! Go not to the realm below!

Wei Wuxian: There is one person left to take revenge on. I wonder who is it?

Translation Notes :

The names of most objects, weapons and places will be the same as the Netflix translation to avoid confusion. E.g. Carp Tower (金麟台jīn lín tái), Stygian Tiger Amulet (阴虎符 yīn hǔ fú).

For all Chinese idioms and proverbs, I will try to translate the actual meanings within the context of the dialogue instead of using their literal translations.

仙师 (xiān shī) literally means ‘immortal master’. In Netflix, it is translated as ‘cultivator’. I am using ‘Master Cultivator’ as a polite way of address and ‘cultivator’ as an informal address.

The Netflix version translates 灵识 (líng shí) as ‘spirit cognition’. I have translated it as ‘spiritual sense’. I’m going to assume that ‘灵识’ is some kind of sense that everyone in CQL universe has in various degrees. Cultivators will have really well developed ‘灵识’ to help them sense evil and exterminate it. The exception is the spiritual weapon 灵识 which is translated as ‘spirit entity’. Since the sword spirit seems to be semi-sentient, it seemed more appropriate to treat it as an entity instead.

This series has a few characters that speak very formally, like an ancient Chinese textbook (esp. Lan Zhan), and some who speak very casually (E.g. Wei Ying). In this translation, Wei Ying’s dialogue is peppered with language short forms and apostrophes to reflect his casual way of speaking. I will try to switch to a slightly more archaic sentence structure to reflect formal Chinese language.

The line breaks mostly correspond to each line of mandarin subtitles within the episode. However, I have switched some around so that the English translation can make more sense and flow more smoothly.

#CQL #The Untamed #The Untamed Episode 1 #Translations are hard #Chen Qing Ling #Chinese to English translations

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matymatsu · 4 years ago

Text

A Chance for Normalcy

Commission for my lovely friend monotcchi on twitter! Please check out their stuff, they’re a wonderfully talented artist and deserves so much love!

Big shoutout as always to my friends who proof read the story. This one was a lot messier to fix up lol

Word: 2k+ Fandom: Yakuza Pairing: Kiryu x OC

Congrats, Tsubomi-Chan. You’ve proven yourself to be a trusted member of this family.

Those words of pride and commendation were all Tsubomi wanted to hear since she was a little girl. All she wanted to do was make her family proud. However, that came at a cost. She did not realize what she had gotten herself into until it was too late. Being accepted by her family and seen as worthy of being part of the Yakuza patriarch… it all left a bad taste in her mouth.

Ever since the incident, she hadn’t been able to think straight. Her mind wandered; she wouldn’t pay attention in class. It had gotten to the point that her grades were suffering because of it. Her teachers began to confront her. “Asagiri-san! You’re usually such a good student, what’s happening to you?” They would tell her, following up with advice on how to study better.

However, their words fell on deaf ears. Her grades weren’t the top priority, for once. Instead, it was her self-worth.

What was her role in the world? Was it truly to just be a weapon? A thing? Did her parents even care about her anymore? Did they ever care to begin with? These questions kept clouding her mind.

As she walked out of school, she couldn’t help but stare at all her classmates. Watching the different friend groups as they socialized with bright, happy faces, chatting about all the different plans they had today. Her bitter expression was making her stick out like a sore thumb.

The way home was even worse. The bright lights felt more like the glaring sun, and the sounds of the busy streets were ringing in her ears, giving her a pounding headache. As she looked around, watching and observing the people around her, something caught her eye.

It was an older couple with their child, a little girl. They were holding her hands, bouncing her up and down as she giggled. It was a heartwarming scene that you would see in a typical family photo, and it broke Tsubomi’s heart. Seeing that simple image made her feel something, an emotion she had never felt before— envy.

While some people had happy, fond memories about their childhood, Tsubomi did not. She was constantly reminded about the duties and responsibilities she had to uphold for the family name. Meanwhile, she would watch as other children her age would play and spend time with their loved ones. Whether it was a small date or an extended vacation, they were making wonderful memories. She craved a life like that, where she could be happy and not have to endure the pressure of her family’s expectations. She clutched her bag tightly. Her body quickly overtook her mind as she rushed off, her heart pounding in her ears.

The walk to the pier went by in a blur. Her mind had completely zoned out. As she walked across the wooden planks, her eyes wandered around. There wasn’t a soul in sight. She slid her shoes off, keeping them beside her as she stood on the edge. She opened her fist, letting the bag slip out of her hand. This is what needed to happen. If her parents, her family, the people she trusted— simply wanted to use her as collateral damage, then they had no right even to have a daughter. This was her only chance to free herself.

Her body froze. She couldn’t move a muscle. Was it fear? Maybe a little. However, she couldn’t live like this anymore; she didn’t want to live like this. She closed her eyes and relaxed her body. Her mind began to take over as she slowly lifted her foot off the edge.

Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, JUMP—!

“Hey!”

A loud voice snapped her out of the trance. She thought she was alone! Well, she had hoped she was. Her gaze went right, towards the sound. There he stood, a young teenage boy, looked to be about the same age as her. He didn’t give off the threatening aura as his voice did; if anything, he seemed concerned.

Tsubomi simply stared at him. She couldn’t help but be annoyed. The last thing she needed was a witness. She huffed, slipping her shoes back on. Another day, perhaps…?

The boy kept watching her like a hawk, his eyes scanning her for any sudden movements. It only made her more uncomfortable. She didn’t want to say anything, but at this point, she felt compelled to. “What?”

She watched him tense up a little. “Sorry… it looked like you were about to do something foolish.” He said. Was it foolish? Perhaps. Why wouldn’t you want to live the rest of your life being used as a fucking attack dog? Then again, he didn’t know that. How would he? She wasn’t planning to let him find out either. “I guess.” She replied with a bitter tone. Her hand trembled as she picked up her bag. The sudden wave of emotion snuck up on her as she felt a soft pain in her chest. She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to start crying, and in front of a stranger no less. She was too wrapped up in collecting herself. She didn’t pay any mind as the boy walked up to her, closing the gap between them.

“Do you need help?”

“Huh?” For a moment, she didn’t even register the question. This was the first time someone offered to help her. Usually, it was the other way around. “N… no! It’s nothing. Just… home stuff.” She replied, forcing the words out of her throat as she shook her head. “Hmm… I understand.”

She watched as the boy sat down on the wooden pier. He looked up at her, his hand patting the spot next to him. She pondered for a moment, should she sit with him? For all she knew, he could just be using her to kill time, not caring about what she may be going through. Then again, she didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to face her family, especially not in this mental state.

She took the seat next to him, sliding her shoes off and placing them next to her. She gripped the wood below her, staring out across the water. The sun was just setting. Its glow looked gorgeous as it reflected against the clear ocean. However, it wasn’t enough to distract Tsubomi from the racing thoughts clouding her mind. She glanced over to the boy beside her, unsure if she should speak or just remain silent. “Hey, Uh—”

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” He said, cutting her off. “I figured it wouldn’t be right, leaving you alone like this.”

She couldn’t help but smile. She was pleasantly surprised by the kind words. “Thanks…”

The silence came as quickly as it left. Tsubomi glanced over, studying the boy’s face. She could have sworn she had seen him before, most likely at school. She was blanking on a potential name. As far as she could remember, she didn’t share any classes with him. “Umm…”

It was hard to speak all of a sudden, especially once their eyes met. She was usually decent at talking to people, but now, she felt anxious. “I’m sorry… what’s your name? I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

“Kiryu Kazuma.” He answered. “We go to the same school together.”

Good to know I haven’t gone completely nuts, she thought. “Asagiri Tsubomi.” She introduced herself, almost mumbling it. She felt it was only polite to give her name as well. Kiryu smiled, easing away her tension. “Nice to meet you.” He said. “You too.”

It became quiet yet again. It was almost comedic. Tsubomi wasn’t too sure what to do. She was curious about the boy who, unknowingly, saved her from her own destruction. It seemed unwise, but she wanted to know more about him. “Do you… come to the pier often?” She asked, leaving a small pause in the middle of her sentence. She was surprised she managed to form one at all, considering her mind was giving her a million suggestions at a time.

“Kind of.” He started, his voice held a sense of awkwardness. “My friend Nishiki and I used to come here during junior high. It’s been a while.” He added. She simply nodded, her eyes drifting towards the water to see a few fish, just below the surface. Kiryu opened up his bag and pulled out a small loaf of bread, wrapped in plastic. He pulled off the wrapping and ripped up the dough, throwing it in the ocean. They both watched as the fish ate each piece, bobbing up to the surface, fighting over the food. “What about you?” He asked. Tsubomi shook her head, staring at the fish, watching as they swam away. “I didn’t know this place existed.” She replied. She never took scenic routes on her way home. She wished she did, though. The ocean breeze, watching the waves roll by. It was relaxing. She suddenly felt something drop on her lap. She looked down, seeing a small bag of bread. “You look hungry.”

As if to confirm it, Tsubomi’s stomach let out a loud growl, causing the two of them to snicker. Biting into the bread, she let out a hushed, pleased hum. It was good! She felt kind of guilty, eating in front of him. She tugged off a significant portion, holding it in front of him. He raised an eyebrow, looking over, clearly confused. “You look hungry too.”

“Heh… thanks.” He smiled, taking the bread and popping it into his mouth. The two ate together in silence, which she honestly didn’t mind anymore. She hadn’t felt this content in a long time.

She suddenly had a sick feeling in her gut as she swallowed. The slowly setting sun had finally hit her. She didn’t want to check her watch; she knew it was getting late. She didn’t want to leave, but it was naive to believe she could just sit here forever. As soon as she finished eating, she stuffed the wrapping in her bag and stood up. “I should get going.” She said, grabbing her stuff as she made her way off the pier. “Wait!”

She paused, looking back at Kiryu. “Come back tomorrow. We can hang out again. I… if you want.” His voice quivered when he uttered the last part. She blinked. To be honest, she wasn’t expecting that. No one has ever asked her out like this before. Then again, she’s never really bonded with anyone either, not until today. She nodded.

“See you tomorrow.” She waved. As she walked off, she could hear his soft voice. “See ya…”

On her way home, her mind raced, still processing what had happened. She was a bit disappointed in herself, not being able to go through with her original plan. Then again, she could always do it tomorrow—

No…! No, she couldn’t! Kiryu wanted to hang out again tomorrow, and she couldn't let him down. That thought alone made her stop dead in her tracks. She barely knew him… why the hell would she care about disappointing him or not? She knew the reason; she just didn’t want to admit it.

She may have found a friend. That boy, someone she barely knew, came to her aid. He didn’t go out of his way to try and fix all her problems or get inside her head. He simply offered her company— which is more than anything anyone else— including her parents, had done. From that conversation alone, she could see how kind and caring he truly was. Sitting on that pier, chatting with Kiryu, the plans to do it all over again. She wanted that every day.

She wanted to live a life outside of the Yakuza, outside of her family’s legacy. She wanted to be normal. Honestly, it sounded like an impossible dream, something she could probably never achieve. However, Kiryu showed her that there is a life of normalcy. It was just out of her reach, and she could grab it if she tried. And that’s precisely what she was going to do.

#I know very little about Yakuza apart from the few bits i've seen from what my friends played #so sorry if this is an annoying read LOL #Yakuza #Kiryu Kazuma #Kazuma Kiryu #OC #original character #Yakuza OC #Kiryu x oc #Kiryu Kazuma x oc #Commission #My Writing #Writing Commission

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razberryyum · 5 years ago

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 2 (spoilers for everything)

(covers MDZS chaps 6 - 10 and a bit of 13)

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other)

I always tell people when I’m trying to get them to watch The Untamed that when they get to this particular scene in the second episode, they’ll know if they will be into the show. To me, this is the game-changer moment: you’re either in or out after this. If this scene doesn’t emotionally move you enough to at least continue on with the drama, nothing else will. It is seriously one of the most romantic scenes I have ever seen captured on screen. This was the moment that made me realize not only was I now fully committed to CQL, but that I had also found a new obsession and was ready to devote myself to Mo Dao Zu Shi. After all, something that can lead to the creation of such a beautiful scene MUST hold other invaluable treasures. So into the MDZS rabbit hole I went, happily diving head first.

Even now I’m still amazed that this scene exists in the intact form that it does. I started The Untamed with little to no expectations, especially knowing the restrictions it was under AND having just finished Guardian and experiencing how poor creative decisions can arise due to censorship (or at least, using that as an excuse for their dumb story choices). As I mentioned previously, the first episode was a hard sell since they definitely did not put their best foot forward first, but I liked Xiao Zhan immediately and Wei Wuxian as a character was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more about his past that led to his death and rebirth. The small glimpses we saw of his relationship with Lan Zhan also fascinated me, but then with this second episode, the weak points of the pilot still remained: there was still bad CGI (the statue) and very amateurish technical mistakes (in the recognition scene, at one point, in a close-up shot they’re holding onto each other, but in the next far away backside shot they’re clearly standing apart from each other, only to return to holding each other once again once the camera cuts back to a close-up...whoever the editor is on CQL probably should dunk their head in the toilet every time these editing errors pop up) that made my initial viewing of this episode a frustrating one for most of its runtime. I think I spent most of my initial viewing just distracted, playing on my phone or something, until the big WangXian moment happened and then I was shocked and awed. I know I wasn’t paying close attention that first time because when I rewatched the episode later on, I realized I missed a lot of dialogue and details. I have since revisited this second episode numerous times more, and I do feel bad about how dismissive I was initially. It’s a pretty loaded episode: it has funny, poignant, creepy, mysterious, and cool moments while still feeding us bits of the overarching plot. I definitely have developed an affection for it since my first viewing and it’s become one of my favorite episodes in the series.

Of Pining & other Heart-achy Things

This simple line from Jiang Cheng is enough to make my eyes well up with tears: I can’t help but imagine Lan Zhan traveling around the world for sixteen years, most likely all alone, stopping at different places to play Inquiry, fervently hoping that maybe one day he’ll finally receive an answering chord from Wei Ying, only to be confronted by a deafening silence again and again and again. How utterly sad and disappointed he must have been every time, and yet still, he never gave up and just went to the next location to do the same thing and experience the same heavy disappointment all over again. If that doesn’t make your heart ache, I’m sorry to tell you, your heart is no longer functional.

It’s a detail I don’t remember if the novel covered, but I’m assuming that Lan Zhan was the one to bring Wei Ying’s inventions like the spirit attraction flag and the compass back to Gusu and incorporate them for use in his sect’s normal cultivation practices. I know other people have use his tools as well since that nameless cultivator at the start of the episode was also using the spirit compass, but I feel that with Lan Wangji, he probably purposefully acquired and adapted WWX’s techniques so that every time they’re used, they can serve as a reminder of Wei Ying for him. Though it does make me wonder how Lan Zhan managed to get those approved by his uncle; I can’t imagine Lan Qiren being ok with using anything that was created by the man whom he blames for the corruption of his beloved nephew and model student. Did LWJ just pretend he created them instead? That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe Uncle Lan decided to be merciful and just let Lan Zhan win this one since he was probably obviously miserable after Wei Ying’s death. Yeah, I can buy that scenario, especially since the flag and compass are pretty useful tools.

I wondered did LWJ already suspect “Mo Xuanyu” was Wei Ying before he started playing Wuji on his flute. It’s curious that he happened to be in that part of the forest at that time. I’m guessing his Wei Ying senses were tingled when he heard about Mo Xuanyu’s skills from Sizhui and the boys so that’s why he was hanging around the vicinity just in case MXY reveals his true identity. After waiting 16 years for this reunion, it’s no wonder Lan Zhan had no qualms about holding onto WWX’s wrist in public for much longer than socially appropriate.

I actually get a little emotional every time I rewatch this episode and watch Jin Ling display his mad archery skills because I would always think of how much he takes after his dad. His parents would’ve been so proud to see him all grown up like this; Shijie would’ve been so happy she probably would get teary-eyed as well every time she saw her boy in action. Sure, he’s a spoiled little princess, but he is also a pretty skilled princess with a heart of gold and I just wish they had more time together as a family.

They looked so happy, look at all those smiles. It really makes me so sad that Wei Ying will probably never be able to hug JC like that again, and of course he’ll never be able to hug Shijie period. Great now I want to cry again.

Lan Jingyi Appreciation Section

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this precious boy by name so far, so I wanted to take this opportunity to show him some much deserved love. Lan Jingyi with his resting bitch face and steady stream of snark was really the MVP of this episode. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times...in fact, he almost always makes me laugh as soon as he scrunches up his face like he’s smelling something bad. I recently saw someone mention that he’s really the most un-Lan of the Lans (sorry, I forgot who posted that so I apologies for not giving proper credit) and that is really the perfect description of him. I love this kid as much as I love Sizhui and Jin Ling, and I am also sincerely fascinated by him. I mean, who raised him in the Gusu Lan sect? Cuz I cannot imagine Lan Qiren being the one since Jingyi undoubtedly would’ve had all his snark driven out of him at an early age. Hell, the amount of disciplinary action he probably had to have gone through would’ve probably killed him at a young age. Did he join the sect when he was already fully formed so that’s why he’s still breaking Lan sect rules right and left? He threatened an old man and is like rude to everyone. I don’t know all 3000 rules but I’m pretty sure being mean to the elderly and insulting to supposedly mentally unstable people are probably not allowed. If anything, his disposition would make him more suitable for the Lanling Jin sect and yet he’s with the stuffy Lans. WHY? I could watch a whole spin-off series with just him and the other juniors as long as we get to learn about how he came to be with the Gusu Lan sect. He’s hilarious and adorable, and among the many the reasons why I wish we had more episodes for the present-day arc, one of them is because I wanted to spend more time with the juniors, especially Lan Jingyi, even if it meant the screenwriters would’ve had to go off book and create new scenes for them. It would’ve been well worth it to hear LJY throw more shade at people.

Random Bits of Randomness

It’s kinda crazy how WWX just stood there with his back turned, oblivious to Jin Ling’s attack. If Lan Zhan’s blade hadn’t blocked JL’s sword, that would’ve been the end of our main protagonist. I just thought that was such an odd scene...I would’ve felt just a little better if Wei Ying had at least had a little more awareness that an attack was heading for him and made some attempt to get out of the way.

Ugh, that mask. First of all it’s ugly AF, and secondly it’s so freaking ill-fitting it was distracting. Would’ve been nice if the production team gave him a mask that actually fit his face. I mean, did it HAVE to be THAT damn big? I’m amazed they don’t have bts clips of Xiao Zhan tripping and hurting himself because the stupid mask blocked his vision.

Other than being a brilliant mastermind and Oscar-worthy actor, Nie Huaisang has got to be one of the greatest cultivators if not THE greatest cultivator of all time to be able to conjure up an illusion like that. That thing was doing real damage to people. If it was just a phantom, what the heck was holding up those two cultivators in midair like that? And what kicked Jin Ling around? I know Wei Ying was able to drive people crazy with his flute during his Yiling Patriarch phase, but his handiwork still felt more grounded and reasonable than this.

Questions I still have (please feel free to answer them):

- Who was that old man at the grave? Someone NHS paid to just hang around the graves until the juniors and WWX came by?

- So NHS basically fucked up Yan’s entire family and God knows how many other people just to get WWX to eventually play his flute to lure Wen Ning out from wherever he was hiding?

- How did JGY not know Wen Ning escaped? Or did he just leave those details to Xue Yang so he didn’t really care about what happened to Wen Ning? I’m trying if this was addressed in the book but my mind is coming up empty. I don’t think it was brought up in the show though, or I just completely missed it.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

#The Untamed #陈情令 #spoilers #Untamed Rewatch #WangXian #Mo Dao Zu Shi #CQL #MDZS #魔道祖师 #Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation #Lan Zhan Lan Wangji #Wei Ying Wei Wuxian #Lan Jingyi #Jin Ling #Nie Huaisang #Jiang Yanli #Jin Zixuan #Jin Guangyao

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keysmash · 6 years ago

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AU where (***SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO DIDN'T SEE THE FORUM ON NOVEL UPDATES***) LSZ hadn't lost his memory of WWX and the remaining Wen clan members.

ILY ANON! This AU is one of the few things I have lined up for, like, after I’m done with the soulmate HCs but since you asked, here you go (under the read more cut, because, SPOILERS!) It’s a lengthy one. I hope you enjoy this anon~

First of all, I’ll have you know that my muse while writing this down are obviously Wangxian by LWJ and You are my sunshine (Nick Lachey ver.).

It starts with a dream, or memory - WWX hides little LSZ in a place he thought would be the safest, further away from what he thinks would be considered war loot. A-yuan hears a lullaby WWX sings to him every night and difts off to sleep

Before waking up from his dream, LSZ remembers WWX apologising to him for what’s going to happen (I would tell you to come kick my ass in hell, but I hope you’ll go to heaven, A-Yuan.)

When he wakes up in the cloud recesses, at least two weeks have passed since WWX died. He wakes up, panics and cries for for Xian-gege (Xian-gege where are you? I promise to be a good boy! A-Yuan will call you mama! I won’t call you Brother Poor. Wwaaaaaahhh)

LWJ takes the crying boy into his arms in an attempt to shush him. LSZ recognises his Brother Rich and cries harder. (I want Xian-gege! I want granny! I want- I want… Uwaaaaaa)

LWJ plays Inquiry every day with a sleeping LZS in his lap, usually crying himself to sleep calling for Xian-gege.

He stops crying himself to sleep after a few weeks but still accompanies LWJ every day as the latter plays Inquiry. (What are you doing? // Finding Wei Ying // Can you find Xian-gege this way? // Mm. // Can A-Yuan play too? A-Yuan will help find Xian-gege. // Can learn. // Will brother teach me? // When you’re older.)

When LSZ is officially recognised as a Lan, he remembers WWX telling him about “the rich sect with lots of rules”. He will study hard and be strong so that if WWX returns, LSZ can protect him. He doesn’t like to follow the older disciples into town. They all talk bad about WWX and LSZ won’t listen to them

He meets LJY for the first time when he turns seven. They end up in a fist fight because LJY talks shit about WWX (I bet he’s evil and ugly OWW what did you hit me for?!) They are punished to kneel and copy the rules for two whole months after classes. Within the two months, the boys reconciled and become fast friends (LJY: We’re BFF now yeah? Yeah!)

After a year or so, LSZ tentatively asks LJY: “What if I tell you I’m not actually a Lan?” He has read books about the Wens and slowly starts to understand the atrocity committed by the Qishan Wen Sect in the past. He wants LJY to know about him although he is scared of losing a friend. LJY simply tells him he doesn’t care even if LSZ is a demon king or whatever and that they’re friends either way. He’ll also fight other people who make fun of LSZ. I LIVE FOR THEIR FRIENDSHIP OKAY

When he turns 10, LWJ starts him on quqin training. After getting no answer 10 times, LSZ secretly breaks down crying before he goes to sleep. He gains a newfound respect for LWJ who never stops playing Inquiry for a long time. He starts calling LWJ Hanguang-jun out of respect although in his heart, LWJ will always be the kind Rich Brother and a dad.

LSZ studies, cultivates and trains diligently. He helps LWJ take care of the rabbits. (Hanguang-jun, how did these rabbits end up here? / Wei Ying.) At 10, LSZ is too young to understand LWJ’s real feelings so he thinks LWJ must have been a very close friend of WWX

LSZ lights incense and prays for his fallen family members every year on the anniversary of the siege. He visits the kitchen and makes spicy congee as an offering and plays Inquiry in a solo attempt to find WWX.

One night, he dreams about his family and wakes up earlier than usual. He sits at his desk and draws the faces of everyone he loves and misses. When LJY asks, LSZ says he is scared of forgetting their faces, so he wants to draw them while he can still vividly remember how they look like.

LWJ finds his drawing. LSZ apologises for wasting time on mundane things and expresses his readiness to accept punishment. LWJ asks him to describe each and every person in his drawing. LSZ happily complies

When they arrive at WWX’s drawing, LSZ sees the changes in LWJ’s expression and offers LWJ his drawing. He’s not surprised when LWJ takes the drawing and thanks him for it.

At 12, the young disciples go on an excursion to Caiyi Town. LSZ discovers a romance novel and secretly buys it. In the novel, the character has achieved immortality and waits for hundreds of years to be reunited with his deceased lover, traveling to many places for a chance to meet each other. LSZ thinks the character is similar to LWJ and realises with a jolt how LWJ must have felt for WWX.

One night, he silently joins LWJ to play Inquiry next to him. LWJ looks at him questioningly. LSZ simply says “I also love Xian-gege.” and plays his quqin. “When I meet him again, I’ll surprise him and call him Mama. He was so jealous when he thought I cried and called you papa the first time we met, Hanging-jun. Uh… Sorry for my ugly crying, haha.” He swears LWJ actually smiles a little but when he blinks, the hint of a smile is no longer around.

One evening, LWJ hears LSZ playing a melody he has never taught the boy (wangxian). It isn’t 100% the same but very similar so he asks LSZ about the song. (Xian-gege used to sing it for me when I had trouble sleeping. Sometimes he plays the tune with his flute. It’s very different than the other songs he played).

By the time he starts training with guest disciples from other sects and meet Jin Ling, LSZ has calmed down enough to not react badly when people thrash talk WWX. In a way, he understands why JL is the way he is but he is not afraid to voice out his opinions when he thinks it’s necessary.

Like LWJ, he listens to stories about JC capturing demonic cultivators and hopes none of them is WWX.

One time, LSZ buys every copy of a book depicting the evil deeds of the Yiling Patriarch from a street vendor, highly exaggerated to the point of obvious slander (WHAT IS THIS BOOK? XIAN-GEGE WOULD NEVER INFLICT PAIN ON PEOPLE FOR FUN!) He burns every single copy to dust.

In class, they learn how to use the tools invented by WWX in night hunt (like the compass and the flags). LSZ sighs at the irony of people hating on Yiling Patriarch but still making full use of what he left behind.

The request for an exorcism at Mo Village arrives and LSZ is in sent out because from the request received, the matter doesn’t seem very difficult for even junior disciples to handle.

When he reaches Mo Village in the morning, it feels like any other village he had previously visited. At around noon, however, he feels a subtle change in the atmosphere.

Seeing fierce corpses fight each other reminds LSZ of his childhood. He feels a pang of nostalgia when he remembers WN but shakes it away to focus on the intense fight.

When he hears MXY play a hastily carved bamboo flute, LSZ is stunned. He knows there are many people who venture into demonic cultivation and want to be as strong as Yiling Patriarch but the melody played, although much poorer in quality probably due to the flute, sounds nostalgic.

When WN appears, LSZ has to stop himself from breaking down in tears because Brother Ning who protected him, played with him, took care of him, whom everyone thought to have been ground to dust, has returned. When WN roars at the cultivators who gang up to capture him, LSZ wants to interfere.

Before he could, MXY plays a soft melody to calm WN’s bloodlust. LSZ recognises the song straight away as his childhood lullaby. (“A nice song isn’t it?” WWX asked little LSZ in the past. “I’ll only play it so you can sleep, okay A-Yuan? I’m going to lose face if people hear the feared Yiling Patriarch playing songs like this in public hahahaha”

He sees LWJ protecting MXY from JC and all his doubts are cleared. WWX has returned in the body of MXY.

LSZ runs to stand by LWJ an WWX and tries to reason with JC. (“I won’t let him take you, Xian-gege”). He is the only disciple not surprised at all when LWJ brings WWX to The Cloud Recesses.

Following LWJ’s lead, he pretends to play along with WWX’s charade as MXY until LWJ tells him otherwise. It’s okay, he thought. We have waited 13 years. What a little more? Besides, the wait is already over. LSZ can’t wait to show WWX what he has learnt. He wants WWX to be proud of him.

Later, LSZ thinks, it is really impossible to doubt that it is indeed WWX in MXY’s body. WWX’s smile, although in a different body, is the same cheeky smile he remembers.

And so LSZ waits.

Should I continue?

#MDZS AU #mdzs fic idea #mdzs headcanon #mdzs hc #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #founder of diabolism #lan sizhui #LSZ #lan yuan #wei wuxian #wei ying #lan wangji #lan zhan #lan jingyi #魔道祖师 #wangxian #LWJ #WWX #LJY

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twin-heroes · 6 years ago

Text

Sweet Suprise

[ sweet surprise ]

「in which the juniors decide to surprise wei wuxian, and he was definitely surprised」

+ note: this was supposed to be up for wwx’s bday and now it’s time for jc’s bday im cryin !!! anyways, happy belated bday to our favorite necromancer. pls ignore this shitty ass summary,,,

“You— I can’t believe this! You literally ruined everything!”

“Me?! You were the one in my way!”

“Everyone, calm down...”

Why was there so much noise? Wei Wuxian took a curious peak at the door. The shouting behind it did not cease. So much commotion in the Cloud Recesses, in front of their precious Hanguang-Jun’s Jingshi of all places? These Lan Sect disciples were truly becoming more and more shameless with each passing day. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but laugh to himself. Good! The GusuLan Sect was too stuffy anyways. A little rowdiness was necessary to keep things lively. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel curious. Fixing his robes, he quickly trotted over to open the door. He crossed his arms and wore a stern expression, pretending to scold the juniors.

“Noise is not permitted on the Cloud Recesses, you are all lucky that Hanguang-Jun isn’t here!”

The juniors all froze, and for a moment, Wei Wuxian had to pause as well. The scene in front of him was definitely...out of the ordinary.

There was Jin Ling, his face red with anger. In front of him laid a broken bowl with noodles splattered all around. Then there was Lan Jingyi, his pristine robes were tainted with bright red and orange splatters. Lastly, stood Lan Sizhui who could only wear a bitter smile, looking as though his soul left through his eyes. To say Wei Wuxian was amused would be an understatement. He smirked briefly before letting out a dramatic gasp.

“Sneaking food around? And Jingyi, what happened to your clothes? Just how many rules have you all broken today? Surely you’re not out here trying to break my record! You really are lucky that Hanguang-Jun isn’t here right now! Had he been here, you would be doing handstands and be copying all the Sect Rules by this point!” He teased. The Juniors on the other hand looked as though they had seen a ghost. Lan Jingyi was the first to speak up.

“It’s not my fault! This Young Mistress crashed into me and ruined my clothes!”

“Who are your calling ‘Young Mistress’, I’m the LanlingJin Sect’s leader now! Treat me with more respect! And I wouldn’t have bumped into you if had shut up like I told you to!” Jin Ling fumed.

“You were the one picking fights! If you’re such a sect leader, then take responsibility for dropping the bowl!”!!!!“You!—“

The two boys glared at each other, almost as if they would pull out their swords and start a duel at any moment. Wei Wuxian was about to open his mouth to say something until Lan Sizhui (luckily) beat him to it.

“Please excuse us, Senior Wei. We did not mean to disturb you.” He spoke softly with a polite bow. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. What a good boy! So polite! Lan Sizhui continued, “The noodles...they were actually for...”

As Sizhui spoke, he noticed a single noodle hanging off of Jingyi’s robe. Curiously, he picked off the single noodle and decided to take an experimental taste.

“What are you doing?! That’s so gross!” Jin Ling gasped with disgust. The taste was actually quite good, spicy in fact, much to his own surprise.

“Wow, this is actually pretty tasty! Just the right amount of heat! I thought you kids didn’t like spicy food? Did you finally get tired of the bland food here? Or had my spicy congee inspired you to expand your tastes! Did you make this yourselves?” Wei Wuxian, grinned.

“I still have nightmares about the congee...” Lan Jingyi grimaced quietly.

“We had help!” Lan Sizhui added with a smile. “And Senior Wei, these noodles were actually for you!”

It was now Wei Wuxian’s turn to be stunned. For him? Why for him all of a sudden? The juniors all looked at him expectantly, he could only blink in confusion.“Me?- Why? What is the occasion?...” he asked curiously. This time, the boys stood in confusion. Lan Sizhui parted his lips, but Jin Ling was faster.

“I knew that you were an idiot but even you can’t possibility be this big of one.” The younger boy in yellow huffed. How rude! Wei Wuxian pouted lightly, crossing his arms once again. Lan Sizhui nudged Jin Ling as Lan Jingyi began to speak.

“Senior Wei, you couldn’t have actually forgotten, could you?” The younger Lan questioned almost sadly. Seeing the boy’s grim expression, Wei Wuxian felt his heart strings tug. What did he forget? With a slight frown, he looked at the noodles once, his eyes widened slightly. These were longevity noodles— which means that— wait, what was today’s date again?

It finally clicked. It must’ve been clear in his expression because Lan Sizhui was the first to brighten up.

“Happy Birthday, Senior Wei!”

That was it. It was his birthday wasn’t it? There was a sudden warmth creeping up in his chest, a warmth that would surely make his heart burst. Without another thought, a genuinely happy smile graced his features.

These boys— these little brats, how did they find out? Somehow, he had an inkling that a certain Hanguang-Jun had something to do with it.

“So that’s what this is about!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed with a soft laugh. Lan Jingyi seemed to cheer up too, even Jin Ling looked a little relieved. He didn’t remember the last time he really celebrated his birthday, then again, there was a lot of things he didn’t remember. “These are longevity noodles, right?” Wei Wuxian inquired as he pointed down at the noodles in the grass. Lan Jingyi nodded eagerly.

“Yes! We wanted to wish you a long and happy life but...” the younger Lan turned to sent a small scowl at Jin Ling. “Someone had to go and drop it!” Jin Ling only scowled back. “I-“ the boy started defensively before letting out a defeated sigh. “I’m...sorry...” Wei Wuxian blinked before smiling fondly. Wishing the nefarious Yiling Patriarch a long and happy life, he found it somehow ironic. He reached out to gently ruffle Jin Ling’s hair.

“Hahaha! Jin Ling, you are becoming so mature! Taking responsibly like that! I’m so proud! Though it would’ve been nice to eat those noodles...” he teased. Jin Ling was quick to swat his hand away. “You!- Don’t touch me you idiot!-“ he huffed. Lan Sizhui simply smiled.

“We can make another bowl.”

“Yeah! Jin Ling, this time you better not just stand there!”

“I wasn’t just standing there, I was just making sure that you weren’t going to mess up!”

Wei Wuxian watched as the Juniors argued before lightly waving his hand.“It’s fine, it’s fine! There’s no need to go through the trouble of making another bowl. I’m touched that you all even made one to begin with it.” It was true. Of all things, he hadn’t really expected the children to come surprise him on his birthday, especially when it slipped his own mind. It made his heart do all sorts of flips, but Lan Sizhui was adamant.

“Senior Wei, it’s no trouble at all. This is something we want to do.” The boy wore a sunny smile. “Senior Wei has done a lot for us. Protected us, took care of us— we want to do something for you too.”

Lan Jingyi chimed in right after.

“You’re not as scary as the stories make you out to be. You’re a little weird, but you’re still pretty cool too!” Wei Wuxian stood quietly, his heart filled a plethora of new emotions. He was quite used to being cursed and reviled. The Yiling Patriarch had committed all sorts of atrocities after all. He got used to it, maybe at some point he started expecting it.

Sometimes, he forgets that despite being so reviled, not everybody felt that way. Sometimes, he didn’t quite understand why.

Jin Ling stood quietly, his fist clenching and unclenching as if he wanted to say something. “You!...” he started off, his face slightly scrunched up as if it pained him to speak. “You are not particularly bad.” Wei Wuxian felt his heart clench. Jin Ling should’ve been the one to hate him the most.

“Young Man, you are not particularly bad yourself.” He teased with a shaky voice. Dammit. Was he really getting so emotional in front of the kids? Because of the kids? Since when had be become so soft?

It happened so quickly. Maybe it was the shakiness in his voice. Maybe it was the way his eyes were glistening. Lan Sizhui did something quite impulsive. Much to Wei Wuxian’s surprise, the elder Lan threw his arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Happy Birthday, Senior Wei.”

For a moment he was shocked, and perhaps, he shouldn’t have been. This was his A-Yuan after all, right? The same A-Yuan who used to cling to his Xian Xian Gege’s leg. Lan Jingyi was next, shouting happily as he crashed into Wei Wuxian, hugging him as well.

“Happy Birthday, Senior Wei!”

His lower lip trembled. He cautiously brought his gaze to meet Jin Ling’s. The petulant boy wore a conflicted expression, one that screamed “Don’t you dare think I’m joining in”. And yet, not even a moment later, another pair of arms clung to him hesitantly. He almost missed the soft mumble coming from the boy.

“Happy Birthday.”

If Wei Wuxian wasn’t feeling emotional before, he was surely being stabbed by all sorts of emotions now. So warm, he thought to himself. He felt so warm. He wrapped his own arms around the children, hugging them close to him. He closed his eyes, memories of Shijie’s pork rib and lotus root soup filled his mind. He could practically hear Jiang Cheng whine grumpily about how unfair it was that they were celebrating their birthday’s together because the dates were so close. Madame Yu would be scolding him. “You’re getting older now! Don’t even thinking about fooling around!” was what she would say. Then there was Uncle Jiang, always looking at him with the kindest smile.

When he opened his eyes, he hadn’t even realized the few stray tears that fell down his cheeks.

“Thank you.” He whispered quietly.

He was used to being cursed. He was used to being hated. He was used to being reviled. He was alright with it. He never asked for forgiveness, because how could he? But this warm feeling— this feeling of being so loved, was precious. These children were precious. He hadn’t realized how much he missed this sort of feeling.

The Juniors let got moments later, each wearing a fond smile. He couldn’t help but smile back fondly. Shameless children, he wanted to say. Instead, Wei Wuxian crouched to the ground, looking at the mess of noodles.

“Ah! Hopefully all these noodles are still intact. You all do know what happens if a longevity noodle is cut, right?” He smiled slyly, his voice full of mischief. The boys stood quietly, unsure of what he meant until Lan Jingyi shouted in panic.

“If they get cut, your life span will shorten!” Wei Wuxian whistled before grinning. “Congratulations! You are correct!” Jin Ling suddenly paled.

“T-That’s just a superstition right? It c-can’t actually happen, right?” The flustered boy stuttered. Wei Wuxian simply shrugged, finding it way too fun to tease the boys. Of course, Lan Sizhui had a solution.

“Then we will surely make another bowl, this one won’t count!”

“Let’s make another bowl then! Jin Ling, you better help out!”

“I was helping out before! And you- change your clothes first!”

“Let’s go, let’s go!”

Wei Wuxian watched as the boys ran off, Lan Sizhui turned to look back at him once more with a gentle smile.

“Please wait for us, Senior Wei, we’ll be back soon.”Wei Wuxian smiled back.“I’ll be right here.”

“Lan Zhan, were you the one you told the children it was my birthday?” Wei Wuxian inquired his husband later that afternoon. Lan Wangji had arrived back into their Jingshi not too long ago and Wei Wuxian was buzzing with curiosity. The taller man looked at him, his beautiful face was seemingly expressionless.

“En.”

Wei Wuxian jutted out his lower lip. He lazily approached his husband, his arms languidly draping around Lan Wangji’s neck.

“Why bother? It’s not that important of a thing.” He felt a pair of strong arms circle around his waist. Someone else might think that Lan Wangji was wearing a cold and uncaring expression, but Wei Wuxian could see the softness and the sincerity in his light colored eyes. Even now, it still made his heart skip a couple beats.

“It is important.” Lan Wangji stated as if it were a fact. Wei Wuxian tilted his head, waiting for Lan Wangji to explain. “It is important because you were born,” Lan Wangji assured with a small smile. Lan Wangji didn’t smile often, but when he did, Wei Wuxian swore the world stopped just for one moment. His heart melted each time.

“Lan Zhan! How can you say something so cheesy? You’re making my heart beat so fast! You must take responsibility for this!” Wei Wuxian whined playfully. Lan Wangji nodded.

“Will do, tonight.”

“Huh?-“ Wei Wuxian almost choked. “Lan Zhan, how can you be so shameless?!”

Without a response, Lan Wangji hugged him close. Wei Wuxian buried his face into his shoulder. The world cursed the day the Yiling Patriarch was born but this beautiful person in front of him was thankful for it. His heart was really going to burst.

“The Juniors made me a bowl of noodles to surprise me, you know? I was so shocked. Did you perhaps tell them to?” Wei Wuxian asked, his fingers playing with Lan Wangji’s inky, long hair. There was a moment of silence.

“I only told them the date of your birth. Whatever they did after was out of their own will.”

He smiled softly into Lan Wangji’s shoulders, feel the warmness wash over him once again. In the end, the Juniors came back with another bowl of noodles, Wei Wuxian happily gobbled it up with the three boys as company. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but knowing that the kids had made it with such sweet intentions somehow made it taste like the best bowl of noodles he ever had.

“They are good kids.”

“They like you very much.”

Wei Wuxian pulled away to look at Lan Wangji, the man seemed to be wearing a somewhat satisfied expression.

“Say, Lan Zhan...” Wei Wuxian began, “Where have you been all morning? You didn’t tell me earlier!” Lan Wangji let go of his wrist and began to fish out something from his sleeves. He pulled out a few pouches. Inside, they were full with all sorts of sweets and candies. Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened.

“You snuck in sweets into the Cloud Recesses? How bold of you, Second Master Lan! Aren’t they prohibited unless it’s a special occasion?” Lan Wangji nodded.

“Today is a special occasion.” Once again, Wei Wuxian felt is heart melt completely. He really, really loved Lan Wangji. Really loved him. Loved him so, so much.

Lan Wangji handed him a pouch, but Wei Wuxian grabbed his wrist instead, pulling him for a gentle kiss. His expression was bright. “You and the kids— breaking the rules for me! I’ve become such a bad influence on you all!” Wei Wuxian laughed.

“If it’s for you, it’s okay.” Lan Wangji smiled softly, gently placing a hand against his cheek. Wei Wuxian’s breath hitched. So sincere. This time, he couldn’t hold himself back. Wei Wuxian hugged Lan Wangji’s neck and peppered sweet little kisses all over his face.

“You make me so happy.” He whispered quietly against Lan Wangji’s skin. The other’s arms were back around his waist. They stood together like this for a few moments, enjoying each other’s warmth and embrace. Wei Wuxian was first to break the silence.

“Lan Zhan, can we go to Caiyi Town today?”

“En.”

“Just the two of us?”

“En.”

“Will you drink with me?”

“...”

Lan Wangji’s expression seemed a little conflicted. Wei Wuxian bursted out laughing.

“Lan Zhan! You’re too cute! You don’t have to drink with me if you don’t want to!”

“I will.”

“Eh?”Their eyes locked and Lan Wangji spoke again.

“I will drink with you.”

Wei Wuxian blinked before grinning. He brought up his hand to lightly pinch Lan Wangji’s cheek. “Lan Zhan, I love you so much.” He felt a pair of lips against his forehead.

“Love you too.” Again, the two of them were enveloped into a comfortable silence.

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian looked up at Lan Wangji. “Yeah?”

“Happy Birthday.”

It really was.

#mo dao zu shi #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of diabolism #mdzsnetwork #this is so late #and shitty #i haven’t written in forever #fanfic

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morsmordrehasbeensaved · 7 years ago

Photo

CONGRATULATIONS JOSIE, YOU HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED AS BARTEMIUS CROUCH JR. WITH THE FACECLAIM OF BILL SKARSGARD!

Josie, all of us admins here absolutely loved your application! In particular, we loved the detail put into his character traits, as well as your interpretation of his relationship with his mother. The headcanons were a nice touch as well! Barty freaks me out, but I mean that in the best way possible! I’m so excited to see Barty on the dash. Welcome to Morsmordre, Josie. We are so happy to have you!

Check out our acceptance checklist right here on what to do next!

♔ OUT OF CHARACTER INFO ♔ NAME/ALIAS:

Josie.

AGE:

23.

PREFERRED PRONOUNS:

She/Her.

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY:

EST – activity would be a 6 out of 10. I try my best to be online as often as I can, but I have a full-time job that takes a lot out of me as well.

TRIGGERS:

REMOVED.

ANYTHING ELSE:

REMOVED. Request approved.

♔ IN CHARACTER INFO ♔ FULL NAME:

Bartemius Crouch Jr. However, calling him Bartemius could land you on the wrong end of a hex. Only his father calls him Bartemius, you see. Barty is muchsafer.

BIRTHDAY AND AGE:

April 14, he is 16 years old.

PRONOUNS:

He/him.

SEXUALITY/ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:

Barty is asexual and biromantic. While he can handle physical affection, he much prefers a match of the minds and needs no physical contact to reassure him of his relationship with anyone.

EXTRACURRICULARS:

I love him in Knitting Club, though if possible could we add him to Chess Club? He enjoys showing off his intelligence and especially enjoys beating blood traitors and befriending possible allies.

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

POSITIVE (+): Intelligent, Perfectionist, Driven

Intelligent - Barty was placed in Ravenclaw for a reason and that was because the hat immediately saw the desperation for knowledge and thirst for learning as soon as it was placed upon his head. His mind moves at an incredibly fast pace, taking in situations and details and calculating the right actions in reply to this. He sees through facades and anything of the like with ease – and has long since put school work and the frivolities that come with it aside as irrelevant.

Perfectionist - Never a detail unseen, never a stone left unturned, Barty’s keen mind has never allowed for anything other than perfection. He works systematically, mentally categorizing new information for later use (his eidetic memory is a big help with this, too) – and makes sure there is never any flaw to be found in his works. Another positive aspect of this is that Barty can always sense whenever there is anything off when it comes to others, he picks up on lies and mistakes easily because he always remembers the little things.

Driven - There was a second of doubt from the Sorting Hat when it came between the choice of Ravenclaw and Slytherin. It could sense the ambition inside of him, the determination to become something even greater – in the end, his intelligence won out, but being placed in the house of Eagles did not quell this part of his personality. Barty enjoys improving himself, driving himself to become smarter, better and stronger. He was well aware his genius was above most of his peers from a young age on, but still, he pushes for more.

NEGATIVE (-): Obsessive-compulsive, Desperate, Manipulative

Obsessive-compulsive - The negative side to his perfectionism shows through in this side of his personality. He needs everything orderly, neatly sorted and coordinated the way he wants it to, or the chaos messes up his mind – it pushes him towards something that could almost be classified as madness. Barty absolutely cannot stand when things are unorganized, messy and chaotic, it makes him feel like he’s losing control – like he’s losing the grip on his sanity, and sometimes, that might actually be the truth.

Desperate - His father always seemed so disappointed in him, nothing Barty did was right, nothing Barty did was good. Compliments were rare in the Crouch household, but he craved them more than he did air. His mother, sweet as she was, tried whatever she could to satiate her son’s need for his father’s – his namesake’s – affection, but it did not work. Only last year did he find someone who’s praise was good enough to replace that of his fathers’, a man who branded him with a mark on his forearm and fed into his madness. He will do anything, anything at all, to please his Dark Lord.

Manipulative - Barty has always found it easy to toy with his peers. He could see through their petty little games and start one of his own, where he pulled the strings and have them dancing like puppets. While it is not something he occupies his days with, these manipulations are something he occasionally enjoys when he’s bored, running plays and watching the reactions they gave, things he could use in the future, the information he gathered. Ironically enough, something that has always been nothing but a game to him has quickly become one of the skills the Death Eaters find very promising in Barty.

BIOGRAPHY:

Bartemius – or Barty as he was affectionately known by his mother was born to a slightly dysfunctional family, of which became very apparent as he grew up. Whilst doted upon by his mother, and he to her his father was someone that had always been cold, distant – almost as if he had expected more of his son, and his only heir. Within this household, Barty came to be aware of the phrase that he as a child was to be seen but not heard. It was almost as if his father had been disappointed by the child he had, that he wasn’t good enough.

This affected him so much as a child that he strove to reach his father’s attention in any way possible. Encouraged by his mother, Barty began to work studiously in his work, reading any and all old textbooks that his father contained in his library so that he could become a son that his father was proud of, so that he would be acknowledged more than just Bartemius Crouch Junior; that he would be recognised by his father to be someone he was proud of. Unfortunately, this seemed to not be the case when he seemed to not reach his father’s attention even at the young age of five when he seemed to be displaying a natural talent for wandless magic.

His mother, on the other hand, showered him with praise. Whenever he picked up a new language, she let him babble on for days, listening intently to every word rolling off his tongue. Whenever he learned to play a new instrument, she clapped loudly, much to the annoyance of his music teacher. Whenever he showed a new piece of magic, she watched on with bright eyes, amazed by her son’s prodigy. Fiona Crouch absolutely adored her little Barty – and some part of her resented her husband for not doing the same, which was evident in the heaps and heaps of owl’s she sent him. Begging him to come to a recital, to read the recipe for a Potion he’d reinvented, anything at all. He never replied.

Fiona blames her husbands’ negligence for the attraction Barty quickly grew towards the Dark Arts. Even before Hogwarts, he had put aside normal spellwork and turned his eager eyes towards forbidden things; curses, hexes, and potions that harmed instead of helping. He’d whispered the word ‘Imperio’ at the neighbors’ boy when he was only ten, having him take the blame for a mess he’d caused. He’d screamed ‘Crucio’ at a rat, hiding in their cellar at home, his curiosity to see how the animal would react to pain like that too strong to overcome. There was only one Unforgivable he saved – one he refrained from casting until he could use it on the person who deserved it most. Despite the eagerness for his praise and love, the Dark Arts had unleashed in him the strong desire to kill his father.

There was not much mentionable for his first six years at Hogwarts. Barty was well above his peers when it came to his studies, he didn’t care much for social activities, and there was rarely anyone worth his time when it came to friendship. The only thing that pulled him through the bore that was school came with the approach of Lord Voldemort. A cousin from his mothers’ side had first come to Barty with a promise to be more, to stand above others and step on those of filthy blood. He’d never paid pureblood supremacy much mind before, but as soon as they started whispering in his ear, he quickly agreed with their views. In fact, it was one of the few things he felt strongly about since – though from the moment he met the Dark Lord, he knew that he would agree with anything that left this man’s mouth.

His mother had a faint expression of disappointment as soon as she realized what her son was getting himself into, especially with his fathers’ profession. It were mostly worries that crossed her mind, not wanting to see her precious Barty hurt. Fiona had learned to keep her lips sealed, however. She loved her son, and if this was the path that made him happy, that made him feel content in his life, she would not stand against it.

In Voldemort, Barty found more of a patriarchal figure than his own father had ever been to him. No one’s praise had ever been good enough to satiate his need before, but whenever this man told him ‘well done, Barty’ – he finally felt it. Satisfaction.

ADDITIONAL INFO:

Some more traits are:

Analytical (+), Cynical (-), Intrinsically Motivated (+/-), Intuitive (+), Sneaky (-), Systematic (+/-).

Songs I associate with Barty:

MUSE ––– MADNESS / THE PRETTY RECKLESS ––– MY MEDICINE / WOODKID ––– RUN BOY RUN / HOZIER ––– ARSONIST’S LULLABY / BLUE FOUNDATION ––– EYES ON FIRE / STEPHEN ––– CROSSFIRE / X AMBASSADORS ––– UNSTEADY / JRY ––– PRAY / HALSEY ––– CONTROL / ST VINCENT ––– ANTIDOTE / CIVIL TWILIGHT ––– HOW’M I SUPPOSED TO DIE / DAVID BOWIE ––– LIFE ON MARS.

Some headcanons:

ONE ––– In the summer before the start of his Third Year, he developed a tic of sorts. It was uncontrollable and unmanageable and the harder he fought it, the worse it became. His mother pretended she didn’t notice it and his father tried not to appear as visibly disgusted as he was by it. While it gets worse when he is around his family, it is still present every day in Hogwarts.

TWO ––– His OCD reached a meniscus, bubbling over into an obsession with the number five. He has to shake people’s hands five times, nod his head five times, shut his wardrobe door five times, and every night before bed he has to tap his wand against his bedside table. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

THREE ––– Since the start of this school year, Barty has decided to break off all contact when it come to his father. He stopped writing him letters, and made sure to tell his mother to do the same. The worst part about this is that it seems the lack of interaction hasn’t even been noticed.

#morsmordre accepted #bartemius crouch jr #hp rp #marauders rp #hogwarts rp

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bligh-lynch · 5 years ago

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The Cold of Snow In the Time of Harvest

22nd December 1994, Edgecrestwood, Tempest, West Virginia She play'd & she melted in all her prime,

And the winter call'd it a dreadful crime. _________ William Blake, "Soft Snow"

Archibald Lightfoot would come to remember that Christmas party - 1995 - as the last time they were all happy. His sons, his legacy, were still so young and pure and did not know the awful destiny that would befall them - little Stephen, his miracle boy, had not yet turned one and Andrew only a few months older than three. Junior Lynch, his only true friend, was still alive - his four-year old son Bligh, and Archibald's own sons, had been left in the care of Junior's father Gus, "Pappy," for the evening.

Back then, too - Maggie still loved him, still found him the same charming rake who had swept her off her feet at the Black and White Ball in Pittsburgh all those years ago. He still had that, but the harder he gripped, the more uncertain it became, until at last he would not have her at all.

It was many years yet, decades more to reflect and to realize. For this is the lie, but also the comfort, of nostalgia: like a favorite book one reads again and again, the action, the ending, they are never in doubt - and the taste of the bittersweet never fades, when life, once, was so full of promise.

But, for now, there he was, standing by the window in his study, Tom Collins in hand, staring into the darkness that was only dimly lit by the lights of his house - the struggling electric lights illumed the snow underneath it, a pale sickly yellow that gave way to a purer white the further and further the shadows stretched.

Somewhere behind him, outside the double-doors that were opened by two hand-chased brass knobs that together combined to form the Lightfoot family crest - sounds of merriment, the buzz of delight, simply having a wonderful Christmastime, this was something his father would do every December and Archibald had only recently taken it upon himself to do the same, a holiday party of open invitation, tiny as their town, Tempest, was, and tinier still Archibald and Maggie's actual circle of friends. But Archibald had been beset by something he could not readily shake off, some nagging feel of connectedness to the past. Alcohol sometimes did this to him - he would be on a street outside a bar and suddenly absorb the city he was in, a realization of himself in the world that made him - so proud and patriarchal and blithely ruthless - feel small. Christmastime - when he most missed his father, who he knew, no fool, everyone thought a far greater man and captain of the Lightfoot name than he - did this to him the worst. He had retreated here - fleeting memories of Christmases past, people past, time long gone, replaying in fragments he kept trying to shake away with the shiver of the outside cold. The frost on the pane, framed as it was by enormously thick carved oak that made the window look like an imperious, all-seeing eye out onto the world, was a phantom cob's web on the outside of the glass that he traced with his finger, a melancholy wistfulness slipping into his inebriation - he was trying to piece something together, some dim recollection that stretched from a life he had forgotten into something like his half-drunken present. But he was interrupted as the door behind him swung open, and the haughty, halting laughter of his equally drunk wife suddenly filled the room. "Oh ho-ho-ho!" She whirled about in an extravagant circle, flopping herself into one of the two throne-like chairs on the opposite side of the ancient Lightfoot family desk - everything about the room was big, powerful, wooden, and antique, but here she was, new and vivacious in red and gold, the rich girl who wanted to be a poet from Monroe County who, by some weird miracle, was his wife. Archibald regarded her impassively, too self-indulgently introspect to want to smile. "Damn that cheese dip Susan Anne made was good!" she slurred, all the grace of her presence erased with an immodest burp and a shrill, embarrassed guffaw. "But this wine - even better!" "Sounds like someone needs a little more cheese dip and a little less wine, dear--" "Oh blow it out your ass, Archie, I'm having fun." "That's exactly what'll happen if you don't stop with the wine and the cheese dip..." Archibald said drily, now allowing himself a small smile at his own joke. With viciously rolled eyes Maggie straightened herself in the chair, striking a pose with an upraised eyebrow. "What's got you in here? You should be out there - I had to talk to all those people for you, Hell, I don't even know most of them!" "Well you invited half my damn client-sheet, Maggie--" "Because you should be the one talking to them, not me!" A long pause followed her remark - Archibald shrugged demurely, turning away from the window, but still close enough to the glass to feel the cold on him. "Maybe...I didn't want to talk to them. Not - yet." Maggie's eyebrow went up as far as it could. "Archie - what's wrong with you?" Her question needled him as it was designed to, it got right to the point and through his façade because she knew it well, the mask, the disguise, Archibald could hide nothing from her and he counted himself both thankful and wretched for it. "I - wasn't feeling well, that's all." "I don't believe you." They locked eyes for a moment - Maggie's expression softened and became, actually, kind, and she smiled softly, that clever, intimate way she only did with him. "Smile's catching..." she murmured, her favorite game, trying to get him to do it back, to not be so inside his own head as too often was. Archibald glanced away, feeling the smile back appear as it was summoned. "There it is," she said, pleased. "Now - Archie - are you going to tell me what's gotten into you?" He did not his answer his wife - not at first - and he lost his cue when one of the double-doors opened and in popped his best friend, his only real friend in the world, Junior Lynch. "Gah - dammit ta Hell if I never hear that Barnes woman talk again--"

He shut the doors quickly behind him - Maggie threw him a bemused look as he plopped down into the chair next to her. "Figured I'd found y'all here," he said, his thick mountain accent coming from a crooked grin that was a little too loosened up from alcohol. He looked only somewhat like his father, Gus, Pappy, that venerable paterfamilias that had outlived Archibald's own father to become the only citizen of their tiny pocket of the Greenbrier Valley that was universally respected - his face had shades of it, little reminiscences of his ancestry that curled around his mouth and framed his nose. But the color of his eyes - bright, icy, piercing blue, the very shade of the Polar that only the Lynch men seemed to have, which even his little son Bligh had - distinguished him as one of his house, the Irish struggle across the sea to the Appalachians made flesh. "And you were right!" Maggie exclaimed, a hand over her heart and her mouth agape in mock amazement. "How - did you know?!" Junior, picking up on the joke, leaned in: "Well - I tell ya. I seen it in a dream. I was all alone--" He put his glass, eggnog in crystal, on the desk before him. "When all o'sudden--" "Coaster, boy--" Archibald murmured, gesturing to a circular piece of crystal near them. The joke ruined, Junior did as he was told, cocking his head at him with the same unruly grin. The crystal and the glass clinked together. "Sure gotta lotta rules, there, sir!" Archibald sniffed - he moved away from the window so that the desk more evenly separated them. "Been over here enough, you oughta know them - now where's your wife?" "Yeah where is she?" Maggie added. "You gotta tell her - you gotta tell her how good that cheese dip was--" Junior let out a cry of disgust. "Cheese dip, Hell! She been with that awful Sandy Barnes the whole damn night! Why the Hell ya think I'm in here?" "Oh Lord," Maggie said. "I thought she went home!" "Yeah, she did, she went ta go check on - what's that girl's name o'hers?" "Betsy," Archibald offered. "Betsy!" Junior repeated back. "Then - then she came back - God Amighty the mouth on that woman!" He threw up his arms as Maggie began to laugh. "If she dun talk ta hear her own head rattle I ain't sure who do!" Maggie was taken with Junior's exaggerations, made funnier by his accent, and leaned back over the arm of the chair in peals of laughter. Archibald took a long sip of his drink as he watched the two of them, managing another sniff, and a smile - but soon his wife's laughter faded and Junior, sizing him up, frowned at him.

"S'wrong with ye?" "Oh just Mr. Moody in one of his moods," Maggie teased, tossing herself in the chair so that her thin legs dangled over the other oaken arm. "Caught him in here all by his lonesome--" "I am not being moody!" Archibald fidgeted where he stood. "Suuure sound like it!" Junior tittered. Archibald rolled cleared his throat. "No - I - just got a little on my mind..." Maggie turned to Junior and pronounced it: "See? Moody." Junior chuckled gamely. "Now there, Ms. Lightfoot, I'm sure ol Archie gotta reason now--" "I'm - just thinking about--" He sighed, long and deep. "Old times, and - and old friends...days gone by, all - all that." "Well that's not so bad," Junior said. "This time o'year - I can see - can see why, if I put my mind t'it..." The drunken jollity that Maggie and Junior had brought into Archibald's study - his sanctuary which, after all, they had entered without invitation - evaporated into nothing, and now they too, felt the same poignant stings as he did. "Mmm," Maggie intoned, downing enough of her glass that only a little remained. And then again: "Mmm..." "It's a thing," Junior agreed with another of his odd little laughs. "Oh it's a thing, yessir..." "Yes it is," Maggie said, before sighing. "But - wait - who? Where?" "Who where what?" "Oh c'mon Archie, who - what old friends, and what - old times?" Archibald, once again, did not answer her directly - he paced back to the window and, with his back turned to both of them, gazing at nothing out the window, took another sip of his mixed drink. "Well - Jones, for one--" "Fischer," added Junior with a heavy nod. "Fischer too, if we's talkin bout folks from the Lake--" "If I never heard those names again I'll be a blessed woman," Maggie said with a mirthless laugh. "What a godawful Summer that was." She paused. "But is - is it - is it weird I still wonder about that whole thing sometimes? I know I shouldn't, I really shouldn't, but - I do." "Don't we all," Archibald said. "I'm - I always - I been inclined to believe what those old folks say down by the Lake there..." "Wazzat now?" Junior asked. "You - you remember. Bout how Mike Fischer's a big ol catfish himself down there at the lakebottom, after he went crazy like he did..." Junior's eyes flicked away as though to try and weight the absurdity of the idea. "I - I gotta tell ya, Archie, I dun rightly think--" "Just old folks talking, darling..." Maggie finished for him. Archibald was nonplussed. "A lotta what they say turns out to be true sometimes--" "What ye gettin at, though?" Junior asked, training his eyes on his best friend. "Ain't just that, is it?" "It's--" Archibald hesitated, stirring the ice in his glass, his eyes trailing to the carpet.. "You're right." "I knew I would be." "But--" Archibald took up the conversation. "But - I - I've been - thinking, maybe...maybe there was something else to it."

Maggie looked at him askance. "What are you trying to say?" "I'm saying he - he might be still around - those old folks they - they're right about a mess of things, ain't they? And we known an awful lotta folk that went missing - or - something happened to them..." He swallowed back some peculiar emotion that he didn't like. "They might be still around - somewhere." He felt his eyes grow liquid, he was losing his composure and he hated it, but the alcohol was liberating him, he could be vulnerable and he could speak in front of his closest, tightest circle and it wouldn't matter. "They - they might be still around..." he repeated. "Well of course they might be, who the heck knows?" Maggie looked to Junior. "At least - at least I..." She didn't finish, seeming to see Junior's own enigmatic expression. Archibald took a shot from his glass, making a face as he tasted the watery mess the melted ice had made it, before he eased himself into his chair, his wife and his best friend opposite, looking at him with equal anticipation. "There's...weird things - that go on - well, here but - everywhere...this state, these parts." "That's not really news," Maggie answered flatly, before allowing herself to laugh at her own remark.

But Junior now seemed disturbed, and he moved to the edge of the chair he had chosen to sit in, suddenly serious: "Archie - Archie, c'mon now--" "Can it be helped?" Archibald gulped back a forming lump in his throat as he said it. "That we - that we think of those who've - who've--" He stopped, unable to continue. Maggie shifted in her chair to face forward. "Archie, baby - c'mon. It's Christmastime - we should be happy..." Ducking her head a little, she conceded the point her husband was making. "And it's just a fact of life around - here - that people..." She cleared her throat. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people, Archie - nobody's fault." "Then what do we do?" Archibald's voice was uncomfortably moist with emotion. "I - think about everyone gone - dead, or - missing and I - I - what do I--?" A silence passed.

"We live," said Junior at last, with a grin that almost made him look like his father. "N'we keep on livin - fer them - n'fer us." Archibald stared at his best friend before he started to nod - slowly at first, and the quicker, until he stopped to bow his head.

A twinge in his face - a bolt of something he wasn't used to but could not, for the moment, suppress - made him catch his breath, and choke back his words.

He lowered his glass, then raised it again, what little liquid left shaking at the bottom of the glass.

"To old friends," he whispered.

Maggie and Junior raised their own glasses, got off their chairs to near him, and clinked them together, a note of finality.

"To old friends," they repeated - and drank.

They stood in silence, the three of them, the last time they would be together like this, though they did not know it - for a respectful moment that should have been longer.

The sounds of the festivities grew suddenly loud again, a reminder that somewhere outside the doors and the walls and the window there was a world beside the strangeness and the tragedy that they had all lived through, as though everything was just a bad dream, and now they could awake.

Junior stirred in his seat to rise with the callous awkwardness that comes from being drunk, swaying where he stood.

"Y'all--" he began, quietly, the crooked smile like his father's growing one side of his face. "Reckon we oughta go back."

Maggie threw her head with her own pursed smile to Archie, who rose himself with a half-hearted nod. "Well?"

"If Junior says we should then--" The nod became stronger. "Perhaps we can."

Now Maggie slid out of her chair, grabbing her drink, winking at her husband.

"That's the spirit..." she murmured.

"I think I've had too much spirit," Archibald said as he came round to join them.

"Well I ain't think I had enough!" hooted Junior, to the laughter of the other two - even Archibald, unforced, laughed when his best friend did.

The double doors came open and back they mingled into the party - Archibald, last one out, turned off the lights, and the study with its centuries of history and secrets was draped in overabundant shadow for another night.

The darkness on that side of Archibald's house, Edgecrestwood, mingled in with the titanic, impenetrable West Virginia darkness outside, the Winter stars diamondiferous in a sable sky - gone was the feeble electric light, and with it, the vain effort to keep December, the cold and the finality, and the passage of time itself, all out...

Nostalgia means knowing the end of the tale, the favorite story read again and again, and so for the Lightfoots, for the Lynches - for them, at least, does it pain one, to turn the page.

#Bligh #Andrew #Before Time After

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2000adonline · 8 years ago

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Heroes & Villains: Fink Angel

Well, what can you say about the notorious Angel Gang, that hasn't already been said?

For those of you that may not be familiar with this fearsome felonious family, they were hands down the meanest, most ornery, cold-blooded, straight up deranged villains to come out of the Texas badlands - a particularly dangerous part of the hell-hole that is the Cursed Earth (largely because of them!)

After Judge Dredd despatched patriarch and peridious psychopath Pa Angel, he also killed his other ‘boys’, Link, Mean and Junior, during his galaxy-wide search for the Judge Child.

However, there was another son, the eldest boy, who decided at an early age that he preferred his own company and took to living in holes, gradually moving further away from the family home, until one day, young Fink Angel just up and left, taking his hole with him!

Probably the smartest of the Angel clan, Fink inherited his father's animal cunning, but also developed an extensive knowledge of poisons, mainly utilising the local toxic flora, tainted by Cursed Earth radiation. From his numerous lairs dotted around watering holes in various locales, he began to perfect his deadly art, incorporating any hazardous chemicals that he could get his hands on, into his ever-growing array of toxins, venoms and poisons. His victims: unsuspecting thirsty travellers that would become test subjects for his deadly arsenal of multi-purpose poisons - or “pizens” as he referred to them - then summarily robbed, and often ate them!

Looking for revenge, after learning of his family's demise at the hands of Judge Dredd, (see The Judge Child) the cadaverous Fink, and his beloved, giant Cursed Earth pet rat...’Ratty’, who wore a matching bowler hat, like his master’s, head toward Mega-City One with murder on their minds..

Fink is eventually caught; despite killing off nearly all the crew of Judges that chased the other Angel Gang members across the galaxy, before the previously unknown sibling can do away with Judge Hershey; by Judge Dredd himself. Ratty escaped into the sewers of the Big Meg.

In an error of epic proportions, Fink Angel is inexplicably released from his maximum security cube in Iso-Block 666. En route to locate his rogue rodent, and finish his mission, Fink finds that his younger brother, the newly resurrected cyborg, headbutt master, Mean-Machine has been brought back from the dead to Mega-City One, by the vengeful Owen Chrysler, once the Judge Child - destined to become supreme ruler and saviour of the city, but judged evil by Dredd, exiling him to the planet of the Grunwalder: Xanadu. But Chrysler’s powers were so vast it enabled him to reach out, using his abilities to manipulate two of the dreaded Angel Gang, reviving the most brutal, Mean Angel and the long-lost poisoner, Fink Angel, as his instruments of vengeance...!

Even the combined might of Fink, Ratty, Mean-Machine Angel and the awesome psychic powers of the former Judge Child are not enough to beat Judge Dredd, the future’s greatest lawman, who fittingly kills off Fink with his father’s legendary, Pa Angel Mark One Super-Scream Torture Machine, sends a volley of nuclear missiles to the planet Xanadu, finally executing the evil boy, known as Owen Chrysler, the so-called ‘Judge Child’ and completing the affair by incarcerating Mean-Machine in the high security psycho cubes.

This was not to be the last of Fink Angel however, he would return in two flashback stories in the Judge Dredd Megazine, many years after his last appearance in the weekly Prog:

The Angel Gang: Before They Wuz Dead (Megs 258-62, 29May-18Sep’07). Si Spurrier (w). Steve Roberts (a).

Fink Angel: Pizen: Impossible (Megs 263-65, 16Oct-11Dec’07). Spurrier/Roberts.

Flashbacks would not be enough for the ever-popular bad guys, though and there was to be one more addition to the baddest bad-asses ever to walk out of the Cursed Earth Badlands - just like his cyborg sibling, it turns out that the skeletal Fink Angel also produced his own progeny, perhaps the worst of them all, a proficient killer in all forms of combat, deadly with any weapon and with his father’s deadly knowledge of poisons....

This new generation of evil Angel was known as the Ratfink - an ambush predator - bandit, kidnapper, rapist, murderer and cannibal - his family would’ve been proud - a new horror that had been terrorising the Cursed Earth. Ratfink slips up when he attacks a Mega-City ‘Helltrek’ (heavily armoured and armed vehicles, who risk everything to leave MC-1 for a ‘better’ life in the Cursed Earth), murdering the entire convoy, except two survivors; a terrified boy, and a young woman,Epiphany, who the animalistic attacker takes ‘fer his wifey’. Had the girl not been the sister of a Mega-City Judge, Ratfink may never have come to the attention of Justice Department.

The rash brother, a Judge Roskill, is seething with righteous rage at the abduction of his sister, as well as the annihilation of the rest of his family. He wants to give immediate pursuit, despite the fact that they are in the middle of a torrential downpour. Dredd tries to calm young Roskill, but the headstrong, angry youngster takes a Lawmaster and speeds off in search of his sister. Predictably, he doesn’t get far, and nearly drowns in a muddy sinkhole, having to be humiliatingly saved by a none-too-happy, Dredd.

Needless to say Roskill tries again, further trying Dredd’s legendary impatience, shooting the headstrong Judge when he attempts to force the revolting Ratfink to take him to his sister. Escaping in the confusion Ratfink flees to his bolthole, where he intends to take out his not inconsiderable frustrations out on the unfortunate Epiphany Roskill.

Luckily, the shooting was a fake to draw Ratfink out into the open to track him back to his lair, after a fierce tussle the spawn of Fink Angel is arrested, vowing that no Iso-cube could hold him - was this despicable creature, the son of one of the most evil men ever to have lived telling the truth?

Find out in Ratfink’s Revenge (Megs 328-30, 18Oct-18Dec’12).

Fink Angel: Legacy

THE FINK (Progs 193-96, 3-24Jan’81) - John Wagner/Alan Grant (w). Mick McMahon (a).

DESTINY'S ANGELS (Progs 281-88, 11Sep-30Oct’82) - Wagner/Grant (w). Carlos Ezquerra (a).

RATFINK (Judge Dredd Megazine 273-77, 22Jul-11Nov’08) - John Wagner (w). Peter Doherty (a).

RATFINK'S REVENGE (Judge Dredd Megazine 328-30, 18Oct-18Dec’12 ) - Alan Grant (w). Tiernen Trevallion (a).

All of the above Fink Angel-related stories are available from our online store, (except the flashback stores listed above) in the Thrill-tastic new TPB Fink Angel: Legacy, featuring some of the UK’s greatest comic creators, including: John Wagner, Alan Grant, Mick McMahon, Carlos Ezquerra, Peter Doherty & Tiernen Trevallion.

Pizen’s Greetings, Earthlets!

#Fink Angel #Mick McMahon #Angel Gang #Ratfink Angel #2000AD

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