#the past 2 weeks were the most tiring but was worth it

[chizramue]

Enjoyed playing in Addams family musical

[meichenxi]

12 hyper-specific actionable neurodivergent-friendly goal suggestions for the New Year!

If you are considering writing goals / intentions / focus points that are more ADHD and/or autism friendly and not overly focused on career or relationships but rather on feeling at home in your body, here are 12 very specific, very actionable tiny steps that have made my life actively better in the last year. Feel free to reblog with similarly actionable points!

(Obligatory disclaimer: these are what have helped me – hence why ‘hyperspecific’! They might be completely the opposite of what you need, or irrelevant to your situation. And all of them, of course, are funds-dependent. But I hope you can find something to inspire you to think about more actionable goals for the coming year.)

1) Get a recipe box

This is number one for a reason. In the past, I have lived for three years on sandwiches (!). I cannot cook or reliably feed myself, and have been beating myself up about it for years. At its best it is humiliating, and at its worst I have gotten various illnesses from malnutrition. I find cooking a sensory hell, as well as triggering past ED thoughts, and shopping and deciding every day what to eat is an executive dysfunction nightmare.

‘You should be able to cook’ – okay, but you can’t. If you can afford it, what’s more important – that you eat well, or that you fail again and again at doing what you ‘should’ be able to do? I think of it as part of my autism accommodations, and just one of the ways that existing as a disabled person is more expensive. Please take the shame away from it, and use it if you need.

I pay for Gousto – it’s the best for vegans, and costs about £35 a week. This is a huge part of my budget for the month, but I find it worth it a million times over. It delivers the recipes and packaged foods in correct amounts to my house every week, and I always choose the quickest recipes to cook. They are done in about fifteen minutes. This forces me to be in the kitchen every day, which has the added benefit of making it very clean, because I can’t stand to cook when the kitchen is very dirty.

2) Go to the gym for ten minutes a day

- (If you don’t want to go to the gym but do other exercise instead, swap the location out for your preferred place!)

- Most traditional advice around exercise revolves around not doing too much – so for most beginners that means 3-4 times a week, at the maximum. The problem is that for AuDHD and other neurodivergent people that habits may be much harder, if not impossible, to form. This means that the executive function required to remember to go to the gym if it’s only 3 times a week, conversely, is actually significantly higher than if you do it every day.

- The ‘ten minutes a day’ thing, for me, means that my goal is not to do X amount of exercise or overwhelm myself. My goal is only to get there. Once I’m there, I can do whatever I want. This formulation of the goal in my mind removes the demand-avoidance and executive dysfunction barriers because if I really don’t want to exercise, I can just walk on the treadmill for a bit and then leave. Knowing this means that I almost always do more exercise than I otherwise would if I were forced to follow a difficult and tiring exercise regime.

- The key to this is that you actually have to mean it. Don’t beat yourself up if after ten minutes, you go home. That’s okay. Your goal was ten minutes – your goal is to make going to the gym a habit, not necessarily the actual exercise you do. That comes next.

3) Use a weighted neck-wrap, cushion or plushie

- For a disorganised sensory system, as many autistic people in particular have, proprioceptive input (that tells your body where it is in space – so weight, pressure, compression etc) can be hugely regulating and calming. A weighted neck wrap is small enough to go under your clothes or can go over your chest as you sleep. I already use a weighted blanket, but this means I can have a little bit of calming proprioceptive input as I work at my desk as well.

4) Get a smoothie box

- This is a similar point to the recipe box. I frequently have health problems because I absolutely hate the texture of fruit and vegetables, and just don’t ever eat them. Rather than forcing myself, as I have done for the past several years, to just try – I’ve leant into my difficulties and worked around them. Smoothies work for me. A smoothie box that comes every month averages out to about £2 per smoothie, which is less than the cost of a bottle in a supermarket. You don’t have to chop anything, just put it in the blender with water or oat or coconut milk.

- Most smoothies have 3 of your 5 a day at least, and some even have 5! If you are struggling nutritionally, it might be something to think about. It’s helped me hugely, and I now consider it an essential part of my budget.

- If it’s too expensive, consider buying frozen fruit by yourself if you have the spoons for that.

5) How can you look the most ‘put together’ without doing anything at all?

- I don’t mean showering. I mean infrequent practices like haircuts! I hate wearing makeup for sensory reasons, but I have a good haircut, one that makes me feel like myself and sharp and confident – I feel so much better, and it’s something I only have to do once. I now make it a deliberate choice to put a haircut in my calendar for every two months.

- Consider a ‘no style’ haircut that will look smart whatever you do! My haircut is a short French bob. You need essentially no styling, it works curly or wavy or straight (though if you have curly or coily hair, you should go to someone who can work with your texture – if you don’t thin it out properly, it’ll give you a horrible triangle shape!). I feel SO put-together with this haircut – it elevates even pyjamas, and I have to do absolutely nothing.

- I bite my nails to the point of bleeding – getting professional gel paint on my nails (no extensions) is the only thing that works to stop me, because the smooth round tips meant I could stim with those instead of biting. For ages, I didn’t because it was a ‘waste of money’. This year I realised: if I’m not going to stop stimming, I need to give myself something to stim with that doesn’t hurt me. Accept your neurodivergence and work around it. I now book a nails appointment every 6 weeks or so, for £20-£25. I find it again more than worth it.

- Similarly, I have just got a nose piercing, and I am considering tattoos for next year. For me piercings and tattoos do the same thing as the above two: they make me look more put together without actually ever having to think about wearing temporary jewellery or makeup (which I can’t for sensory reasons). What might work for you?

6) Dress for Sensory Good

- I have found a noticeable difference in my self-confidence with my appearance once I a) accepted that I have sensory differences, and b) bought clothes that accommodated those differences without making me look like a slob. For example, I hate feeling constricted around my thighs as I like to jump and stim and dance, but I don’t want to live in tracksuit bottoms because that leads to Depression Soup – so I have started buying formal, ‘monk-style’ trousers with a wrap-around belt and flowy legs. I like the feeling of pressure around my waist that a tight top provides, but I hate it around my shoulders (don’t ask me why…), so I have started wearing tops with huge baggy sleeves and a wrap-belt around the waist. So many of these tiny adjustments, and for the first time in my life I feel both comfortable and beautiful in my wardrobe.

- Do you like heavy things? Soft textures? Scratchy wool? Lots of badges to play with? Tight compression? Flowing fabrics? And how does this work with your lifestyle? When I am overwhelmed, I often want to cover the lower half of my face and neck – it feels comforting to me. So I have started wearing light scarves that I can wrap around my face like an old lady (!) which both block out the world, provide that comfort, and also look...normal? It lets me stim without visibly outing myself as autistic, which I don’t always feel safe doing.

- Other things to consider that might help: compression clothing, weighted jackets, heavy boots, ankle and wrist weights (there are some that are very minimalist and look like bracelets), wrap trousers, tight belts, cloaks with hoods, cowl necklines, activewear, Merino wool (if you sweat a lot or can’t shower / do laundry often), complete light-blocking sunglasses (you can buy these from a ski shop), stretchy fabric, etc. Whatever works for you – find it!

7) Use a sippy bottle with a straw

- I can’t stay hydrated. If it’s left up to me, I drink less than a glass of water every single day. I have constantly bleeding cracked lips and skin from lack of hydration. The only thing that has worked so far – and it has been a game-changer! – is to buy a huge 1.2 litre / 40 oz water-bottle with a built-in straw that I can take around everywhere. I can stim with it, the straw feels nice, I much prefer drinking from a straw because I hate accidentally wetting my chin / sleeves - and all I have to do is remember to fill it up twice a day. That’s way less mental effort than remembering eight glasses!

8) Get noise-cancelling headphones and Loops

- I assume everyone who is autistic has these. If you don’t – they will change your life. I only got them last year and suddenly so many places have become accessible to me that I would have just avoided before. I also tell people very honestly that I often wear them, so please don’t be alarmed if I do – if you want to start this, I’ve found it less intimidating to do it with strangers first, and then moving up to friends / family. Now everyone is used to it, and I get way less overwhelmed.

9) Use an audiobook service

- For a long time I thought that I had lost the ability to read. I now know that’s directly correlated to my levels of overwhelm (which makes my ADHD traits worse), but even so, my short-term memory is so poor that I have basically never been able to read non-fiction – it goes in one ear and out the other. Now that I use an audiobook service, however – I am listening to lecture series about so many things I’m passionate about and actually remembering things for the first time in my life!

- Knowing that I can listen to things I love whilst I clean or tidy my room or pack or whatever helps me so much. I also enjoy lying down in the dark under my weighted blanket listening to audiobooks as I wake up and go to sleep – it has completely replaced scrolling on my phone as the first / last thing to do in a day. When I’m overwhelmed I often can’t look at a physical book as it hurts my eyes, so an audiobook is far better.

10) Get Huel / Pleny / other meal-replacement drinks

- Because sometimes even with a recipe box, you won’t be able to cook. You’ll have forgotten to go shopping. You’ll be so sensory-weird that the thought of eating food is awful and makes you want to vomit. This doesn’t work for my partner, who hates the texture of Huel, but for me I can bear it and often enjoy the same-ness of knowing exactly what to expect. On days when I can’t cook or go out or sort out a meal, Huel is a life-saver.

11) Add active rest time to your calendar

- I don’t mean necessarily an actual calendar, but about how you think about time and your day. I make it a habit now to automatically add the same amount of time as the activity took as recovery time afterwards. So if I schedule a date for 2pm to 4pm, then I know that after I get home I will need two hours to recover before I can do something else.

- This has helped me be both more deliberate about my rest time (I don’t scroll or watch anything – I deliberately ‘go in’, as I call it, using my weighted blanket, other weighted things on my chest, a blindfold, brown noise, pitch black room etc), and also be realistic about how much I can do in my life. I know that if I have to rest for two hours after a two-hour event, it’s very unlikely that I can do more than one social engagement in a day. This expands to longer periods: if I go and visit my family for four days, I will likely need four days doing not much afterwards, and certainly no cognitively demanding tasks or socialising. This is a reality check which helps me say no to certain things that are not crucial.

12) Try compression clothes

- These provide a subtle and constant proprioceptive input which can calm the nervous system – as I have said above, proprioceptive input (knowing where your body is in space, pressure etc) is hugely regulating to AuDHD nervous systems. It also massively affects the other sensory systems if it is dysregulated – so if you aren’t meeting your sensory needs for proprioception, it’s likely that visual or auditory will be even harder. You don’t need to buy ones specifically for autism – UnderArmour or shapewear or activewear works just as well.

---

I hope these help! I have many more suggestions, but will leave that to another post :)

[itstimetojellyfish]

These days , have not been the best.( Dan Heng x Reader)

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Useless .

Everyone calls you that .

“Not even worth a single penny . “

“Don’t waste your time on them.”

You don’t blame them though , you were supposed to be there , helping others like you promised .

However , you left suddenly. This was because you had suddenly contracted a disease . If only you had taken the vaccine…. Then maybe rumors wouldn’t circulate around you .

Maybe the false information about you seeing another other than your dear lover wouldn’t be online and you would instead be in his arms sleeping .

( You hate yourself for being so weak)

Instead of being in the archives sleeping on your lovers futon with his other form wrapped around you , you’re sitting down in a cave on the planet you landed on .

Cold , alone , wet , and utterly miserable.

When the first rumors came out , Dan Heng saw them immediately, then he sought you out , seeing you talking with another man .

After you were done talking, he immediately confronted you about them , you thought he was foolish for believing them .

( You forgot that he revealed his past and now he’s insecure about your relationship)

You pay the price now .

People badmouthing you, tripping you , and even shoving you around , resulting in injuries that would leave a scar , both emotionally and physically.

Now , usually Dan Heng or the other Astral express members would help you , but ever since the rumors came out , they avoided you and seemed to loathe you .

( Do they all believe those lies?)

Your heart was torn apart and burned .

The one you loved most wouldn’t even spare a glance at you.

The people you deemed friends wouldn’t help you .

So now you’re on a cold , barren planet , abandoned , shivering , and crying .

(You wish they would’ve at least given you a blanket. )

(But you know you don’t deserve any kindness for being so weak and pathetic.)

So you sit there . Letting the cold wind slice through your clothes and hit your vulnerable skin , you start to pale .

You’ve always had problems with your body temperature. Usually you carry ice packs or blankets with you if the planet was cold or hot .

But the people left you here without alerting the Astral express so now you have no way of going home and sleeping.

You’re tired .

Cold too .

Soft pattering and loud thunder alerts you that it’s raining .

( You wish Dan Heng was here )

You curl in on yourself as a mock attempt to mimic the warmth your lover gave you when you were cold .

It’s useless .

Your arms are too small and cold , you don’t have a jacket or a soothing voice .

Your heart throbs and wails for at least a bit of affection , it doesn’t have to be a kiss , it doesn’t have to be a hug .

All you need is someone that cares for you .

Nothing else .

Nothing more .

You hate being alone . It makes you feel weak , vulnerable, and pathetic. It also reminds you of how much everyone hates you .

You sit there in the cave with barely any food for 2 weeks . Water is available since it rains pretty often .

You have a wound with an infection on your stomach and your legs are weak . You broke an ankle earlier trying to get some berries up on a mountain side .

Your stomach hurts and growls 24/7 and it’s making you vomit constantly .

Soon , you’re crying alone on the cold, rocky floor , stomach twisting unpleasantly as you writhe around in pain .

( You don’t hear the sound of something landing on the ground)

There’s a few clacks and then… you see pale skin and golden heels in front of you ..

Murmuring ensues and you wish that they would just kill you .

Then 2 pairs of black shoes come into your field of vision and a sweet voice gently whispers in your ears .

“ Hey… Y/N .. it’s gonna be okay , we’re so sorry be believed those rumors … “ Soft hands gently pull the slit on your clothes and an audible wince occurs as they see the gash on your stomach with an infection on it .

You close your eyes and go limp .

It sounds like March 7th. You miss her bubbly voice and tone .

Black fingerless globes come into your vision as you see a fluffy gray head . The gentle hands tilt your head and then you see amber eyes soften .

“ Dan Heng….medical… they’re …. “ The words coming from his mouth seem distorted and your eyes blink wearily .

You see bright red hair come into view as warm hands gently trace the wound around your stomach .

“ Poor thing…We’re so sorry for not coming sooner , your ankles broken too …”

You wince and whimper. The pain sears through your delicate senses as you try to escape it , though it doesn’t do anything other than amplify it.

Soon , you’re being lifted and you see the Astral Express come into view . Your eyes widen and then you squirm .

No! You can’t burden them again!

The arms carrying you shuffle to adjust your constant squirming , they then lift you up to the person shoulder and you see a pale white jacket .

A teal tail gently curls around your waist , careful not to disturb your wound and infection as they secure you in order to not open the wound your body tries so hard to close .

You whine . You missed this tail .. it would always caress your body and love it with all it could .

You made grabby hands in the air , asking for something you didn’t you know could get .

A warm fuzzy tip rubbed against your cheek as you slumped and curled in . The wound on your stomach stretching a bit making you wince.

A pink and blue head pops into your field of vision as you realize it’s Dan Heng holding you .

March looks at you with worried eyes as she sees how cloudy yours are .

Soon, you’re in the express , being stuck in a cuddle pile including Caelus , March, and Dan Heng , with at least 6 blankets on top of you as every one avoids the wound you have .

You had to stay at Herta’s space station for a while and then return to the Astral Express , the people who started the rumors about you are very much in the hospital.

They had almost gotten you killed without anyone knowing .

You gently turn on your side to see Dan Heng looking at you back.

You sit there like a deer in headlight . He gently places his hand on your chin before kissing you . His other hand trails down to your lower back and rubs it gently.

“ I’m so sorry” He nuzzles your forehead gently .

“ It’s … okay … “

“ These days haven’t been the best , so I’ll make the rest as good as I can.”

[hvman-scvm]

Hear me out,,, snuffed ! 141 x snuff filmmaker ! Reader.

Massive CW 4 general things you'd expect of a snuff film. Dark content ahead. (No r//pe or s/a) Maybe OOC ?

Price is the first one you planned 2 get rid of; he'd bring you less money anyways considering he's older than most of yr other victims. But man, was he fun. He put up one hell of a fight, cursing and fighting against the restraints.

It made you laugh.

You didn't bother too much with him, knowing tht the film you'll make out of him won't b as high demand as yr other ones. But you still made sure 2 have yr fun. You knew he was a captain, and the superiority you felt after you finally caught him and bound him 2 the metal chair was unmatched.

The tape was a mere 22 minutes 37 seconds of content; after a while he just.. stopped fighting back. He was clearly exhausted, and he knew it wld result in nothing but more of yr mean laughter. It was the shortest tape you've evr made. No fun in it if yr victim isn't giving you reactions.

So you quickly put an end to his life and painted the walls with his brain matter.

Then there was Soap, he was even more fun than his beloved captain. W his constant cursing at you laced in a thick Scottish accent, and his pretty blue eyes glaring daggers at the camera tht you pointed 2wards him B4 setting it on its stand, grabbing his face and making sure he looks directly 2wards it.

But soon his demeanor began 2 break. It may have taken a few hours of torture, but it was so worth it.

He begun crying freely at the pain, he's faced a lot of it in his career; bullet wounds, stab wounds, blunt force- if you can name it, he's experienced it at least once. But none of it compares 2 this, 2 the pain you've been inflicting on him the past few hours.

A day of on-off torture was all it took 4 you 2 get bored. He was getting weak n tired, slipping in an out of consciousness. He simply wasn't fun anymore.

So his life was ended w a slash 2 the throat. His vacant eyes staring blankly at the still running camera.

And Ghost, oh boy. He barely reacted, barely flinching when you cut his mask w yr knife n ripped it off his face. He was quite the looker, you can't lie. He barely reacted 2 yr torture; refusing 2 give you the satisfaction. But you were determined, n you weren't gna stop until you hear a sob.

All tht came frm him were grunts and hisses, no matter what kind of torture you inflicted on his big, scarred body. He just wanted this 2 b over w, hoping you'd get bored n end his life so tht he doesn't have 2 endure any of his pain anymore. Both the pain you were causing and the pain tht came w being Simon Riley.

But after 7 hours, after you took a break n he barely regained consciousness, you finally got what you want. You had slammed down the hammer in2 his thigh, determined 2 break the one bones thts hardest 2 break. Thts when he finally yelped in pain. More noises kept spilling out of his throat as you slammed the hammer over n over again against his thigh in hopes of breaking his femur.

You had kept him 4 a week, made 3 tapes of him, and currently filming his 4th- and last- one. You had used the same gammer you attempted 2 break his femur w, n bashed his head in until it was mush.

Then there was yr little snuff prince, as you had lovingly nicknamed him, Gaz. He refused 2 look at you, nor the camera. Just kept his head down the whole time. His eyes were so pretty as you lifted his head 2 look at you. What you weren't expecting, however, was 4 him 2 spit right on yr face.

You loved it. Loved his reactions. Loved how pretty he was.

You knew he was going 2 help you make a high demand film. How cld any1 resist seeing a man as pretty as him get tortured within an inch of his life ?

You made multiple films of him, he was yr only victim tht lasted this long. But good things must come 2 an end.

His fate was hanging. He was too weak 2 fight you as you put the noose arnd his neck. You adored the coughing n gasping tht left him as he was lifted in the air, his legs kicking blindly B4 tensing and eventually going limp. You watched w glee as the life slowly left his eyes, n made sure the camera was close enough 2 pick up on tht.

[simplyzeeka]

Episode 2. Season 1

Lingering

But I'ma be someone to know soon

Come fuck with me

I aint got no plans for the weekend

Don't know what you was thinking.

Warnings: MDNI! Sweaty Terry in a wife beater, subtle flirting.

Summary: Where Syrae and Terry meet two times too many and sparks seem to fly yet again.

Author's note: everything in italics is a flashback.

Previously on Something Seasonal

Were degrees worth it? A single piece of paper, that only showed that you were eligible to work in a certain field. It didn't guarantee that you would even find work. Syrae often wondered all of this when it was time to open a book and study for her damned Dental Science degree.

With an assignment yet to be submitted, she had to grab her laptop and use her favourite cafés Wi-Fi, since the Wi-Fi in her ran down building was down every other week. Unfortunately for her (and her bank account), that meant she also had to constantly buy something to stay in the café. “Just a coffee will do, thanks.” She said to the waitress with a kind smile before turning back to her laptop.

She was stuck, tired and honestly so over life in general. Having to constantly click in and out of tabs to search for textbooks she couldn't afford was beginning to seem tedious, and she wished she would've gone to the local library instead, but something about the dust there always had her feeling a little itchy. As if her place was any better.

“Fuck me.” She groans lowly, taking off the glasses on her face and placing them on the table. She quickly saved her work and shut her laptop. Clearly she was not going to be the most productive.

Not only was she completely over this degree, she was exhausted from having to now work weekdays at the club. Syrae was falling a bit behind on rent, and that meant having to pick up shifts at the bar. “Thank you very much.” She said to the waitress as they placed her cup on the table.“You're welcome, ma’am. By the way, your check has already been settled by that man over there.”

With a frown, Syrae looks over to where the woman pointed. A tall man, piercing, green eyes and an intimidating aura despite the closed smile on his face. A tall man she has worked overnight trying to get out of her head, especially considering his situation.

“Your fiancé know you here?” A question slips past the sly smile she had on her lips. He chuckles, gaze unmoving, needing to commit her beauty to memory.

“It's my bachelor party, pretty sure she doin’ the same thing as me.” A shrug, he wasn't worried, pretty confident he would maintain his fidelity. “Hmm, a shame really.” her voice echoes, flying like pretty little monarchs into his ear and straight to his stomach.

“And why's that?” Curious, he needed to know, even if it would kill him. “Cause I could've given the greatest dance in your life.” because even if it did, satisfaction would most definitely bring him back. “You still can.” A nonchalant shrug, a mistake more than anything… because once lines blurred, it was hard to draw them again.

“Put it on me, baby.” And who would deny him with eyes like that? Syrae wouldn't, and Indigo? Indigo wouldn't dare to.

She knew she shouldn't entertain this in the slightest. The man was fine… too fine for her own good, but not only that- he was engaged… Well married by now and that was a no-no zone.

So Syrae only smiles, mouths a curt ‘thank you’ before she opened her laptop, trying to look like she was occupied.

Her attempts fail, because Terry frowned at the interaction. Clearly not satisfied, he walked over to her secluded table in meticulous steps, not wanting to seem too forthcoming and eager.

“Uh, hey? Hey, I'm sorry. I figured the message may seem malicious, and that's not the-”

Oh but Syrae was already on his ass, interrupting with a sigh and an unbothered look. “Look, I don't know what you thought this was. But that night was work. I'm not some piece of hot ass you could use to cheat on your wife. I might be a…dancer, but that don't mean I'm unethical.”

Terry placed his coffee on the table and raised his hands in surrender, before looking around then back at her. “Woah woah, that wasn't my intention. I wanted to apologise… for anyway I might have acted that night, actually. I had a bit much to drink, and I don't hold my liquor well.” He explains with a small frown.

Syrae's shoulders relax a bit, he seemed genuine for the most part. “Hmm, you were quite bold.” She jokes with a small smile. “I'm sorry, I just get a lot of thirsty husbands asking shit like that, and-”

It's Terry's turn to interrupt, a short laugh. Too short for Syrae's liking because the rumble was a smooth honey that had little dragonflies fluttering in her stomach. “Nah, you good. I get it. I'm not like that.”

“Of course you not…” Syrae whispered, loud enough for him to hear as they inspected each other with gentle smiles. It took a while for Syrae to notice that their eyes lingered a second too long, so she cleared her throat, pursing her lips as she straightened her posture.

Terry broke his eyes from hers, retrieving his coffee from the table before bidding his goodbyes. “Well, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, Indigo.”

Syrae internally cringed at the use of her stripper name outside of work, but mustered up a smile anyway. “You too. Thanks…again.” Everything about this was so awkward, she was glad when he simply nodded his head and turned to walk out the café so that she could finally release the breath she was holding.

Until a brown object caught her eyes on the floor. She squints and notices that the plain, brown woven leather just so happened to be his wallet. With determined haste, she stood and ran out the café, eyes scanning the sidewalk only to see nobody.

“Damn. Long ass legs.” She did what any other person would. Opened his wallet in hopes of a number, and luckily for her, she saw a business card with a number on it. Mike's Auto Masters. Below were a few numbers on how to contact the owner, followed under a name. Terry Richmond.

“Welp, looks like we gotta catch him again. God, why are all the fine ones taken.” She whispered before walking back into the café to finish her coffee and retrieve her belongings.

“Can't believe that you, Syrae Belles, is bout to break a rule.” Broisa, a fellow friend of Syrae comments as she lays stomach down on the couch.

Syrae rolled her eyes, a sigh resonated deep in chest. “I'm not breakin’ a rule girl.” She stated, “where else I'm ‘sposed to give this man his wallet?”

Broisa was annoying and noisy, Syrae couldn't believe their friendship survived as long as it did. Broisa was a beautiful dark-skinned woman. Working as a bottle girl at the same club Syrae worked in since she claimed pole dancing was too much of a work out for her.

“At the club? Where he met you?” the sassy woman replies as if the answer was that obvious. “You the one who made this whole rule bout not meeting your clients outside of he club, now here you are… breaking it.”

“I wouldn't say he's my client, Broisa. I only danced for him once.” Syrae defended with a sigh as she popped a chip in her mouth. “Yeah, one dance too many. Now he payin’ for your orders in cafés and shit.”

Syrae regretted telling Broisa about Terry. All she needed was one story to spiral everything into some hot fantasy where Syrae and Terry have an affair, despite her screaming men are trash, specifically for that reason alone.

“Broisa, please. I'm just meetin’ him at his shop tomorrow morning and giving the man back his wallet. Besides, ‘member when I told you he's married.” She emphasised the last word with a raised brow.

“How sure are you that he went through with the wedding?” Broisa throws back, “What if he told his wife he cheated and she left him at the al-”

“Woah now girl, cheat? I barely danced on that pole for an hour.” She laughs worriedly, Syrae doesn't condone cheating. Otherwise she wouldn't have shut himself down so quickly at the café. “Besides, he said that his wife went to a strip club herself.”

Broisa hums in apprehension, she has never really understood going to strip clubs for bachelor and bachelorette parties. Hell, she never understood those parties in general. Like hell will her man ever go to a strip club to celebrate his ‘last day single.’ She would turn that into his last day living.

“Anywho, where you go yesterday?” Syrae deflected with a question, “Had me blowing up your phone like I wanted your help burying a body.”

Broisa perked up at the question with a smile. “Tuh, girl! Tell me why Gage popped up on me?”

And just like that, the girls fell into a different conversation.

Syrae couldn't help but hum at the vast space of the auto repair shop. Clearly this Mike guy just recently built this shop from the ground up, everything was so pristine.

Syrae managed to call the number on the car and actually reached Terry himself, so they could arrange a time to meet a little after she found the wallet.

Back at her dusty apartment, Syrae can't help but to light some candles to help soothe her growing anxiety. Something about talking to this random stranger on the phone had her a little too nervous for a plausible explanation.

Still, she dialled the number and then listened to the phone ring as she eyed the flame on the herbal candle. When he heard the baritone of his voice she damn near slid off the couch. “Hey! Hey… uh. Hi, sorry.”

Embarrassing, that was embarrassing. The earth could open up and swallow her whole. If she still smoked weed, she would need fifteen blunts after this phone call. Syrae urged herself to get herself together in her head, needing so desperately to hold onto some sanity and clarity.

“Hey. I'm sorry, who am I talkin’ to?” And fuck did he have to sound so good? The way the phone amplified his voice made him sound finer than he usually does, despite Syrae only having heard his voice twice.

“Oh sorry, it's the girl from the café. I-Indigo? I got the wallet you dropped with me.” She explains, “Got your number on your business card.”

Terry sighs, seemingly in relief as Syrae interprets. “Fuck. Thank you so much, I was stressed out ‘bout that.” He laughed into the line, and Syrae clenched her thighs at the sound. “It's no problem, where would you like to meet to get it?” She asked immediately, needing to get off this damn phone.

There was silence in the line, “What bout tomorrow? I got an early mornin’ at work. You could pass by the shop and drop it off. That good?” He clarifies.

Stupidly, Syrae nodded her head as if he could see her. But she caught herself quickly and cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah. That sound good. See you tomorrow then.”

The inside of the shop was quiet, but Syrae heard the faint sound of soft rock playing at the back. That was probably the garage where all the magic happened. Syrae looked around while walking towards the reception desk. “Mornin’, I’m looking for Terry? Terry Richmond. Here to drop off a package.”

Despite her kindness, Syrae noticed the condescending look the woman behind the desk gave her. “I’m sorry ma’am, he went out.” Syrae frowned at the snide smile on the woman’s face. Syrae couldn't help but laugh sarcastically. “Well in that case… Miranda.” She drags after looking at her nametag, “Could you tell him to come back from wherever he is and honour our appoi-”

“Oh, you’re here already? Is everythin’ alright?” Terry graced the women with his presence. Dressed in a loose wife beater that was tucked underneath blue overalls in which he used the arms to tie around his waist. Rippled arms exposed while he wiped oil from his hands with a cloth.

Syrae quickly averted her gaze from his sweaty build and turned to the receptionist. “Yeah, just peaches and cream. Miranda here was just assurin’ security.” being the petty woman she is, Syrae scrunched her nose at the woman for extra measure.

Terry scratched his neck, noticing the obvious tension. Women, he thought, something always had to be a problem. “O-kay. Let’s go to the workshop. Thanks Randa.”

Syrae suddenly frowned at him, because there was no need for them to go in the workshop, she could have just given him the wallet and went on with her day. She did not vocalise her thoughts however, simply followed his lead.

The workshop smelled like a cacophony of strong smells that had her nostrils burning. The faint scent of Terry’s cologne seemed to soothe the burn. It was messy, tools everywhere and car parts. A number of men carried tyres and tools around as loud machines whirring had her feeling a little overstimulated.

The lingering stares from men made her regret her choice of wearing a skirt, and following Terry back here. Why did she follow him back here again?

Thankfully, the man led them into a secluded room, which seemed to absorb all the noise. His office. “Sorry bout the noise, figured here would be better.”

Syrae looked around the office. It was neat, had her jealous about his consistency to keep his space clean. Her room was always a hotspot for clean clothes on the floor with the way she raided her own closet everyday trying to find an outfit. “Yeah,much better.” she responded nervously, because nothing about being alone with this man was better.

“Oh, your wallet.” she said as she dug into her bag and handed him the leather accessory. “Right, thank you. A lot. I was ramming my head ‘bout it.” he laughed and Syrae reciprocated the gesture.

“You should be. Why you put everything in there? The poor thang can barely close.”

Terry let out a shoulder-shaking laugh, one that had Syrae wondering about how he liked his breakfast in the morning, or whether he preferred movies or reading, morning or night. Out of the two times she’s met him, she’s never seen him smile with all his teeth out like he was now. “Oh so you were snooping?” he asked with one thick eyebrow raised.

Syrae rolled her eyes playfully, “How else was I ‘sposed to find your number, which you have quite a lot, sir. You deal with pharmaceuticals or somethin’?” she eyed the man as he leaned on the desk with his arms crossed over his chest,only further flexing his deliciously muscular arms.

“Now what if I was and you askin’ that so boldly.” He laughed and shook his head. “But nah, I don’t.”

Their eyes lingered a few seconds too long, which Syrae broke her eyes from his. “Oh, I bought you some coffee, just to say thank you… for the other day.” she reached her hand towards him with a short smile. “Ain’t know what you like, so I just went with black with two sugars.”

Terry accepted the coffee with a quiet murmur of gratitude, hummed in gratitude at the taste. The coffee was more or less how he took it. “You did good, how you figured I would like it black though.”

“Well, you seem a little… practical and straight-forward. Someone who appreciates the simpler things in life. And you also look a little broody.”

Terry shook his head, taking no offence to her last comment. He often got people telling him that. Even his wife. “Hmm, and what about you?” he probably should not be flirting, he definitely shouldn't be. But just a little banter wouldn't hurt, and Syrae seemed to have a lot of it, it was refreshing.

“What about me?” and she shouldn't be entertaining any of this, but the way Terry was staring her down with those damn eyes. He was reeling her in, hook, line and sinker.

“Are you simple?” The question was, well… simple. But Syrae began overthinking it. The depth of it had her thinking over her entire life. “Hmm, I believe I’m a little more complex than that.” It was a joke, just something to keep the conversation going, although it should be put to an end, because Syrae failed to realise that Terry had long removed himself from the desk. Probably when she was handing him the coffee, his scent tickled her nose forcibly. Old wood and cocoa butter.

“How complex?” It was a leading question, an eager one too. One that had her slowly blinking to think it over, that had her biting down on her bottom lip. Her heart thumped a little faster, because damn Terry’s eyes were so beautiful. He had no reason being as beautiful as he was, had no reason to send waves of heat to her stomach that made the dragonflies grow tenfold. The fluttering caused a slight feel of nausea in her stomach.

Still, despite being so nervous, she smiled. “You tryna find out?”

Fuck, why did Syrae follow him back here again?

Next on Something Seasonal

[jangofettjamz]

Unlovable Child

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

Warnings: Child abuse

2nd Person POV

"I'm going out of town for a week to see my parents" you tell Jenna. The two of you were snuggled up together on the couch, binge watching The Mandalorian on Disney+.

"Oh, do you want some company?" Jenna offered to which you shook your head no. Your parents wasn't exactly the gold standard when it comes to parenting, in fact they'd probably win an award as being one of the worst.

You've never discussed your parents with Jenna because of this, not wanting her to be involved with them due to their toxic nature. You feared that exposing them to her would only cause more trouble than its worth.

"You sure you don't want me to come with? I can--"

"No no you really don't have to" you said, cutting her off a little too quickly to go unnoticed. She gave you a look of suspicion, knowing there was likely some underlying tension between your parents and you.

You tried to put her at ease "I-I mean... they haven't seen me for a while... I wouldn't want to overwhelm them by introducing you to them... y'know given your fame and all. No offence"

Your stuttering and lack of a believable reason wasn't enough to ease Jenna's growing concern for you, but she smiled anyway, which in turn made you smile. You knew she wasn't convinced.

She pulled you in closer, making sure you were nestled into her chest. She had a feeling deep down that you were keeping something from; something terrible. Anxiousness flooded her nervous system, making her rethink about letting you go.

Her heartbeat quickened because of this, something you caught by having your head on her chest. "Jenna? Are you okay?" You asked.

She looked at you and smiled to put you at ease "Everything's fine, sweet boy. Everything's okay." She reassured, kissing your forehead to ease your worries.

But it wasn't her you were worried about, it was meeting your parents for the first time in years. The last time you spoke to your parents was 2 years prior, just before you moved out for your new job, just before you met Jenna for the first time. It didn't exactly end on the greatest of terms.

You parents were vile; abelists who took pleasure in calling you the most horrid of insults for their own sick pleasure. It made them feel better about themselves, like they were superior. They were never proud of you, even though your academics should make them so. They could never be proud of someone like you, someone who was autistic.

Of course, with many dysfunctional households come with their fair share of physical abuse, which in your case was fairly common place. The slightest of mistakes ended in severe punishment, that being knocking a drink over, talking to loudly .etc.

You were deemed a failure in the eyes of your parents despite everything you've accomplished in school, your well paying job; it meant nothing. You were never good enough for them. You were simply too much of a "spaz" to love. You were nothing to them, only when money was an issue were you of any use.

You held Jenna a little tighter just think about this. Painful memories from your past flashed through your mind, reminding you of the awful people they were.

But you maybe they had changed, maybe they realised the error of their ways, you naively thought to yourself, only setting yourself up for a meeting that would inevitably send you crashing down.

But you had to believe. "They have changed. Of course they changed, they only said and did all that stuff to make me into the man I am today. They love me. Don't they?"

- 1 day later

Jenna was on the phone with her director discussing filming dates. She was currently working multiple films at once and needed to negotiate dates so that it wouldn't impede on her schedule.

You always admired how she could do so many films at once, though, you wished she would take a break sometimes as it can tire her out.

Jenna's phone call was immediately interrupted by the sound of the door opening revealing your figure. "Mark I'm gonna have to call you back" she hangs up the phone, confused as to why you were back 6 days earlier than anticipated.

You were wearing sunglasses, unusual considering the weather outside was quite gloomy. Perhaps you just felt like wearing them, she thought to herself.

"Hi, baby boy." She kisses your cheek, but noticed that it looked awfully red and... swollen? "You're back early. Did everything go okay down there?" Jenna asked to which you nodded with a smile, albeit a dishonest smile.

"Yeah everything went great, just gad to cut the trip short because they were busy and stuff. My parents are busy people after all" you say in a somewhat cheery tone. The swollen part of your face was pulsing, as though the nerve endings in your face had been set alight.

Jenna continued to examine your face, still finding it strange that you haven't taken off your shades yet. "Wait, he wasn't even wearing shades when he left. Why was he wearing them now?" She thought, trying to ascertain the situation.

She noticed your hands were shaking; odd considering you were always calm around her most of the time and it wasn't cold indoors because of the heating. One of your arms was holding your stomach too.

All this information, combined with the fact that your back 6 days ahead of schedule is enough to tell Jenna that something was very very wrong.

"Hey babe can you take off those glasses for me? I wanna see those pretty eyes of yours." She asked sweetly, forceful was not the right approach. You looked at her, trying to strum up a lame excuse not to oblige.

"No!" He exclaims, catching Jenna off guard. You quickly try to come up with a better excuse. "I mean i-it's really bright in here Jenna, my eyes are kinda tired from driving, y'know" you play off terribly, adding a smile to try and convince otherwise.

Jenna isn't buying it, you know this. She's too smart. "Y/N your face is bright red, and swollen" His smile quickly drops. "Your hands are shaking too, and I can see a cut behind your hair. You and I both know it isn't cold in here and that cut is recent too." She exhales sadly, turning her attention too your stomach "You're holding you're stomach babe, like you're in pain. What happened over there?"

You panic, you knew she wasn't an idiot but you can't bare to let her find out about your parents, about your past. It was too embarrassing, she'd surely leave you for not being man enough to fight back. That what your father had conditioned you to believe, that you weren't a real man because of your condition, that you were sub-human.

"I-I d-dont--" "let me see your eyes, my love" bowing your head in defeat, you allowed Jenna to remove your shades, the sight horrified her, sending shivers down to the deepest depths of her soul. She gasped, her hands covering her mouth as you she saw the damage.

A massive purple bruise covered your right eye, the eye itself was completely red. The area around the eye was completely swollen too. The left eye was also bruised, not as bad but still bruised nonetheless.

Anger bubbled within Jenna, the prospect of someone hurting her baby was sickening to her, she knoew this had to be your parent's doing. "They did this to you, didn't they"

"W-what no! They would never do this to me. My family love me, Jenna. They do" you tried convince her, you tried to convince yourself mostly. Tears pricked at your eyes, stinging even more due to the beating you took.

"Honey... why would they do this to you? What happened?" She asked gently with a tinge of sadness in her tone. You couldn't keep up with the lie any longer.

You took a deep breath. You wanted to tell her what happened, tell her about the desperation you felt when your father's belt connected with your back. How your mother held you down as he did it, beating and beating and beating you for being the spaz who disappointed his parents just by looking at him. She held your hands "It's okay. It's just me. Just Jenna"

A single tear fell down your cheek causing Jenna to wipe it away. "They wanted money..." you started, taking a deep breath before continuing "They wanted money that were apparently "owed" for not getting rid of me. I said no, and I'm sure you can imagine how they reacted to that. They beat me, Jenna. They both did. I couldn't stop them, I tried as hard as I could but they kept..." you sniffled, holding back what would have been a giant sob.

"They kept pummelling me with the belt, punching me in the stomach. Mom held me down and I couldn't anything. They said I was unlovable... I'm unlovable, Jenna!" He broke down completely, falling onto his knees. Your emotions that you'd been holding since you left your parents had escaped, the dull pain now fresh again.

Jenna lifted the back of your shirt to find the purple lashes that layed there, where your father had taken out his anger with the belt. She immediately held you, her own eyes tearing up at your broken state. You clung to her like a lifeline.

"Shhhh, its okay baby. You're safe now. You're safe with me again." He whales in anguish and pain, his sobs became louder as each one left his mouth.

"Jen it hurts" you said like a scared child, exactly what you were at your parent's house.

Upon hearing this Jenna decided it was best for you to lay down on your side to avoid laying on your lashed back. "Come on, honey let's lay you on the couch. Lay on your side for me, my sweet." You did as instructed.

She lifted up your top to see the bruises on your stomach, purple and still fresh. She was going to annihilate your parents, but that comes later. "I'm gonna go get an ice pack, then we're taking you to the hospital"

"No! No! Please no doctors!" You pleaded

She knelt down and stroked your hair to out you at ease as best she could "Shh shh shh, don't think about that now okay. Let me go get an ice pack for your stomach. I'll be right back." She left quickly for the ice, returning as quickly as she left.

She lifted up your shirt and let you get ready for the ice. "On three. One. Two. Three." She presses the ice to your abdomen, the cooling sensation soothed the pain little by little bringing you great relief. "Good boy baby, you being so brave for me" she cooed, kissing the top of his head.

She held the ice pack as you writhed in pain on the couch. Her free hand alternates between rubbing your arm and combing through your hair. She placed little kisses on your swollen cheek, not hurting at all when she did.

The recollection of events that played in your mind caused you to cry again. Jenna brought your head into her neck as she held you close, her skin absorbing most of the tears. "Oh baby, please don't cry. You're not unlovable. You're my very beautiful boy who I love so very very much. They don't deserve you."

You held onto her tight, thinking how lucky you were to have such a wonderful woman in your life. Your parents would've definitely said you didn't deserve her, and maybe you didn't. But that didn't detract from how much you loved her, and appreciated her.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you with every fibre of my being" hearing this made you smile out of pure gratitude and love.

"I love you too, Jenna" you say, voice still wobbly from crying. You pulled your head from the crook of her neck and the two of you just smile at each other, you took in the beauty of her face while Jenna gazed upon your battered one. She pulls you in for a gentle kiss, a long kiss that you desperately needed.

"Bubs we do need to get your tummy looked at. We'll call my mom to have a look at you, but we may need to go to the hospital if it's bad. We can do all that tomorrow though, just rest in my arms for now. Can you do that for me?" You nodded your head "I won't let them get away with this Y/N. Mark my words they're finished."

You'd never seen Jenna this angry, but it brought a strange sense of reassurance, like everything was going to be okay. "Can we watch a movie? I wanna take my mind off of this"

"Of course we can, bubs. What do you wanna watch? Empire strikes back?" She asked, knowing how much you loved that movie. You nodded making her smile and kiss you again.

She layed down next to you, inviting you to curl up next to her and lay your head on her chest. "You're not unlovable, flower. You're a very loveable and amazing person." You smile at her words, Jenna loved you very much and today was evidence of that.

She cradles your body in her arms, still feeling you tremble from everything that has happened. It would be a long road to you heal from this but she'd be with you the whole way there.

She gently rocks you while you watch the film, the sight of Darth Vader igniting your child-like love that Jenna adored.

"Hey bubs, promise you'll never think yourself as unlovable. Promise me that my love."

"I promise." You say, even though you still didn't fully believe it. Your parents words still hurt.

"Good boy. My special beautiful boy"

[winchesterdreamgirl88]

Done

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Platonic Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: You've had a crush on Dean for awhile now and you're so hurt and tired of watching him flirt with every girl and you finally tell him how you feel.

A/n: For like a week I've kept thinking about this scenario in my head and I wanted to share it with everybody. This is my first attempt at writing a full story so I hope you guys enjoy it and I'm sorry if it's bad:)

Word Count:1.7k- way longer than I thought it was going to be

Warnings: Language, slight angst, little but of fluff at the end, implied smut. Let me know if I missed any!!

You had been hunting with the Winchesters for about 3 years now and it had been some of the most terrifying yet fun years you've had in awhile. You met the boys when they were hunting a Djinn who had trapped you in a dream where you could live out your life with your parents who had passed away when you were 8.

You guys were heading back to the motel after a grueling vampire hunt that you guys had been working on for about a week. When you guys got to the motel there was only 2 rooms available which meant you had to share with one of the brothers.

"I call my own room." Sam had said quicker than you could comprehend then tossed you and Dean the key to your guys room and then departed to his room to take a shower. You would have preferred to share a room with Sam because he was your best friend and he was fun to be around. You didn't mind sharing a room with Dean but you've been in love with him for so long it's getting harder and harder to control your feelings.

You knew he would never think of you like that because everywhere you go Dean always finds some random girl in a bar or some girl on a case to flirt with and he has no shame about it whatsoever. It's so hard to sit back and just watch as the man you love flirt with everyone in sight, not to mention he's not quiet when he decides to bring a girl home, not even blink an eye towards you. You knew why he wouldn't wanna be with you, you weren't as pretty or skinny or interesting as all the other girls. You were just somebody who followed them around and was like a sister to them.

"Looks like there's only one bed so it looks like we'll be sharing, unless I get lucky then I'm sure you can stay with Sam." Dean had said with his signature smirk that you loved but right now was just pissing you off. You didn't know why that comment had set you off tonight but you were done with all his bullshit.

"Whatever Dean, I don't really care anymore. I'll just go sleep outside so you can do whatever you want with whoever you want." You said with your back against the wall. You were honestly just so tired from the hunt you didn't really care anymore.

"What the hell is up with you Y/n? You've been so angry and snappy towards me lately and I haven't done shit to you!" Dean said taken aback by your rudeness towards him. He'd noticed you'd been off the past few weeks with him but he couldn't figure out why.

"Just forget it. It's not even worth it. Just go find some random girl who's willing to throw herself at you and have a good night and leave me the hell out of it!" You said and then stomped away to head into the bathroom to take a cold shower to try and calm yourself down.

The motel you guys were staying at was only 5 minutes away from the Roadhouse and once you got in the shower you heard the hum of baby drive away knowing him and Sam were heading to the bar. You knew Jo was gonna be there and you knew how flirty she was with Dean every time you guys came around and the thought killed you of what was gonna happen tonight.

After you got out of the shower you decided to stop feeling sorry for yourself and got dressed in a cute black lace tank top with some dark blue skinny jeans and black high heeled boots, did your hair and makeup and walked 5 minutes down the road to the bar. When you got there you immediately see Dean sitting down at the bar with Jo standing way too close to him and laughing at something he was saying. You headed over to join Sam at a table he was sitting at doing research about your guys next case. You sat down next to him and let out a long sigh while continuing to stare at Dean and Jo.

"You know he's a blind idiot Y/N, he doesn't know what he's doing to you and he's not gonna know until you say something to him." Sam says as he can't help but feel bad knowing how much you care about Dean and him not feeling the same way.

"No Sam you don't get it! He's so blind and selfish and it's just so frustrating and I can't take it anymore." You finish your rant not realizing that you had started yelling and now everyone was staring at you including Dean and Jo. You immediately stood up and ran out of the bar and started walking back towards the motel. When you got there you slammed the door and began to start crying.

About 5 minutes later you hear baby pull into the parking lot and try to compose yourself before Dean comes in because you know he's gonna want to talk about what had happened. Dean unlocks the door and sees you sitting on the bed looking sad.

"Okay seriously Y/N you've been mad at me for weeks, you can't be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes without wanting to rip my head off and now suddenly your causing scenes in bars for no reason, what the hell is going on with you? If I did something wrong I'm truly sorry but you need to tell me what it is so I know how to fix it." Dean says now kneeling in front of you trying to read your face.

You immediately stand up to get space away from you and him before deciding what to tell him. "You know what fine. I'm so tired and so done competing."

"Competing with what sweetheart?" Dean said causing your stomach to erupt with butterflies at the name

"I'm done trying to compete for your attention. I'm done trying to make you see me. I'm done I can't do it anymore it's to exhausting. I know I'll never be someone you think is attractive, I'm not as pretty as any of the girls you flirt with or as smart as other girls. I'm just ordinary and I can understand why you wouldn't wanna be with someone like me and so I'm just done." By time time you had finished with your rant your cheeks were stained with tears and you were sitting against the wall avoiding eye contact.

It took Dean a minute to make sense of everything that you had just said. It broke his heart seeing you like this because he really did in fact care for you and the fact that he was the one hurting you tore him up inside. He took a deep breathe before kneeling down in front of you and he put his finger under your chin forcing you to look up at him.

"Are you crazy? Of course I love you, you're amazing, smart, beautiful, strong, sexy, you care about me, you make me feel like a human and not some monster. You're so loving and you see the good in me even when I can't. You are everything to me Y/n and I'm so sorry that you were feeling this way. All those other girls are just things I use to get my mind off of you and to make myself forget how bad I am for you." This causes something to shift in the room because now you are suddenly concerned about how Dean is feeling.

"What do you mean? How are you bad for me?" "Let's face it Y/n, I'm a monster, I push everyone away, I don't know how to talk about my feelings, I'm so angry all the time, I don't know how to love someone properly. Which is why I couldn't let myself fall for you any more because I knew I would just end up hurting you." Now suddenly he's the one refusing to make eye contact with you as he stands up and faces away from you.

You get up off the floor and walk up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder "Dean, I can't imagine being with anyone else. You're not a monster you are a loving caring person who would put their life before anyone else. I know you may not see it but you are one of the greatest people I know and I would be lucky if you would be with me. Relationships have hard times that's part of being in a relationship but we can get through it together and figure it out as time happens."

"I love you Y/n I want to try being the best and most caring boyfriend I can be for you." He says finally looking into your eyes for the first time since entering the motel room.

"I love you too Dean." You look up at him and smile

He looks down at you and slowly moves his head towards yours he then rests his forehead on yours and slowly connects your lips together. The kiss started out really small and timid because this was uncharted territory for the both of you. As the kiss started to heat up he licked at your bottom lip asking for permission and you quickly let him in. He brought his up and rested them on your hips and started walking you backwards to the bed. He slowly laid you down on the bed and broke the kiss to admire your face. He looks down and smiles at you. He's so glad he can finally be able to call you his and let everyone know that you are his.

He reconnects your lips and slowly starts to drag his fingers down your chest and down to your thighs.

"Let me show you how much I love you." You quickly nod your head yes and smile into the kiss as he slowly pulls your shirt over your head. You know this is gonna be one of the best nights of your life.

[miscretis]

Vampire!Ronin x Vampire Hunter!Reader(g.n) [PART 1]

WRITER'S NOTE

I've decided to start this AU due to my love of vampires. This AU is also a bit based on the misunderstood vocaloid song, Romeo and Cinderella! This is my first ever serious fanfiction project and I hope you guys will enjoy!

TW:

- Blood

- Murder

- Loss of loved ones

- Coarse language

- Vampires blah blah blah!

Wails of siren sounded outside of the alleyway. Thick red splattered and stained all over the ground, the bodies stinking up the whole place.

Huff…puff…

Aspirated gasps were let out from your system, a symbol of desperation. You ran until you were stopped by caution tape and police. Your eyes widen and your pupils shrunk. Your heart quickened as if you were going to explode. What laid before you were familiar bodies. Bodies of people who used to cherish you, people who were always by your side.

You would expect one or two bodies being slaughtered in the notorious alley; Purgatory, where the vampire, Devil’s Butcher, gets his hands dirty. However, the last of your remaining family were the last thing you expected to be lying before you, petrified in time.

“No…nononononono! This…this can't be!”

You tried scrambling past the caution tape however strong arms held you back.

“Sorry but you can't pass the caution tape!”

“Those are my parents!” You screamed, dropping to your knees while you begged for this to be a dream.

Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, everything felt surreal. Like a hellscape.

————————————❣️————————————

“Breaking news: On 19th July 2023, two bodies were found dead at Purgatory alleyway. Vampires are going rampant nowadays, so please do not stay out late. This is Kelly Smith, signing out.”

You laid on your couch, still trying to process your trauma. Your parents, gone in cold blood. You were nothing more than a hollow vessel, too tired to even shed tears any longer. They were now no more than cherished memories, reminiscent of your life the past 2 decades.

However, you cannot be depressed for long…

Vampires…those beings who relish in others suffering. They're evil beings.

You quickly rose from the couch, wiping your face with your hands. Vampires, vampires, vampires. Why do they have to take away your only loved ones? Your fists balled up, you clenched your teeth.

Those vermin, I must do something about them…!

However, you were just a normal human being. What even can you do against blood sucking superbeings anyways? You couldn't win against them…

The next day, you decided to head down from your apartment to the park near your childhood home, where you spent most of your past time as a kid with your parents. While walking down the street, you walked past a church. There was an advertisement that read…

Recruiting vampire hunters!

Part time:

$1800 per month

Full time:

$4000 per month

Please contact Raymond Ng on ————————— for more details!

The advertisement piqued your interest. No, not because of the pay. It was because of the great good. Just imagine having your loved ones taken away by one of those vermin. You wouldn't want that happening to other people too, would you?

So, when you got back home after the visit. You dropped on your bed and started to text the number.

You: Good evening, I am ——————. I am texting you because I wanted to apply for the position of part time Vampire Hunter for $1800 per month.

Raymond: Okay, please show me your resume.

You: https://bit.ly.com/Users-full-name

Raymond: Thank you. We’ll contact you back if you're eligible for an interview.

You put down your phone and turned your body to your right, letting out a sigh.

Mom, Dad. I'll avenge your deaths and help prevent the deaths of many others.

————————————❣️————————————

The next week, the church emailed you. They have informed you that you'll be called in for an interview. Upon hearing this news, happiness filled up your heart, replacing the feeling of depression for a quick minute.

That's not something worth being excited for…yet. I still need to pass the interview then it'll be worth celebrating.

Another week passed by and you sat for the interview…

“ Y/N, please take a seat,” said the interviewer

“ Thanks.” You complied with their orders.

”First question, why did you apply for this position?”

“I wanted to create a better world, the greater good for us, humans. The world has been terrorised by vermin, the vampires. It has been turned upside down, into a hellscape for us humans to live in.”

The interviewer simply nodded his head in response, “ Ok, next question, describe yourself in two ways.”

Your eyes widened a little, your mouth slightly agape, cold sweat started to slowly drip from your forehead.

“Well…uhm…”

Fuckfuckfuck, don’t you dare fuck this up…I swear if I fuck this up I’m going to jump.

“I’m very resilient and I give back to the community. When faced with challenges, I’ll take a step back and think. From there I’ll apply problem solving strategies such as: identifying the problem, thinking of possible solutions, and execution. All based on the level of achievability and impact.” I took another deep breath, “ I also would usually participate in volunteering work as you could see in my resumé, I’ve volunteered for police work before. Other than that, I also led in clean and green work such as the beach clean up, and upcycling plastic bottles into plant pots to give out to the neighbourhood elderly.”

The interviewer smirked, and nodded his head, “last question, are you faint hearted?”

What kind of question is that?

“Uhm…no.”

“Great! We'll call you back when you're selected.”

————————————❣️————————————

When you got back home, you quickly emailed the church to thank them for their time. Afterwards, you received a strange link from an unknown number.

UNKNOWN: https://discord.com/blahblahblahimgonnasuckyourblood

You were kind of giggling at the server name. Hotel Transylvania, isn't it? However this situation is far too suspicious. So, you blocked the number and cleared the chat content.

…

UNKNOWN: https://discord.com/blahblahblahimgonnasuckyourblood

Huh? I thought I blocked the number?

UNKNOWN: darling, Don't Keep The Devil Waiting. join the hellscape.

You blocked the number and cleared the chat content again.

UNKNOWN: https://discord.com/blahblahblahimgonnasuckyourblood

UNKNOWN: i Know where you Live, join or else.

At this point of time, the situation wasn't just suspicious but very frightening. You quickly clicked on the link and joined the server…

<goreboy> Welcome to the hellscape @/user

<hitmeuppp> Omg omg omg! A new fellow vampire!!!

<Angelic> welcome!

<felicite> Hello! It's so nice to meet you!

<LUCA_IS_SO_COOL> YAYY!!! A new vampire mate!!

…

A vampire server? Is this real? If so, it's a jackpot.

<goreboy> Please Do Check the rules at #rules and Choose your Roles at #roles

You clicked on the channel.

<goreboy> be a vampire. First rule of the Fight Club. tbh I don't Really Care lmfao. just don't be Racist or Transphobic and be nice to Everyone or else Angel will snipe you :\

<Angelic> it's not a threat it's a promise.

You went to check out the roles of the server. There were unique vampire roles up for choice..

Bot: what do you take pride in for being a vampire? Please react to get a role!

Blood! 🩸(5)

I dunno, fun? ‼️(2)

Superpowers! 💪(3)

Ego 😈 (2)

There's not really anything to be proud of 😔 (1)

What the fuck? Ego???? Fun??? Who the hell reacted to these

You checked the list of reactions, one user in particular caught your eye.

goreboy, the server owner. When I get into that job position, you're my first victim.

Bot: How do you prey on your victims?

Sharp objects 🔪 (3)

Guns and magazines 🔫(2)

Kidnapping 🥷 (1)

The good ol’ vampire style 😜 (7)

You went on to react to your favourite roles.

ding! A new notification from #main

You went to check on the main channel.

<goreboy> @/user why don't you Introduce Yourself in #introductions ? that would help us to Get to Know You better.

You went to introduce yourself in the introductions channel. Afterwards you decided to go on a server tour with the user <Angelic> to get to know the server layout better.

<Angelic> so this is #vampire-cave. This is where we post our gruesome murders.

<hitmeuppp> ooo! You're being exposed @/goreboy !

<goreboy> it's Yours Truly.

You laid back in bed. 7 vampires in the server and 1 human. Is this a possible road for vengeance? All you could know is that the “vampires” in the server could be edgy teenagers roleplaying. However you couldn't brush off your suspicions that they're actually vampires. Especially for the user, goreboy. He gives off really, really bad vibes. Dangerous too, telling from his reaction to the roles.

————————————❣️————————————

The next day, the church emailed you.

Wow, that's fast.

You checked your Gmail inbox and checked on the email.

Dear ————,

Congratulations on being selected for part time Vampire Hunter for $1800 per month! You'll start work by this Saturday.

Link to details: —————

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL. IF YOU THINK THERE'S AN ERROR, PLEASE CONTACT RAYMOND NG ON raymondng01@gmail.com

You jumped out of your bed, your eyes almost popped out from your sockets. You started to jump around and screamed, “Yessss!!!! I got the position!”

“Hmm…”

“<User>....huh…”

TO BE CONTINUED

[cherrytreegrove]

The Mistress of Silk

Ik most people won’t read this because it’s Oc related but I hope you guys enjoy! I put a lot of time into it!

OC’s used: @nyx-of-night (Soleil) @raguiras (Allen) @galacticstationsblog (Via) @amatsuchan-eiliniel (Hopper) @heyhellohihowareyou (Mateo and Kaegen)

“Fucking damnit.” Ivy groaned, laying on her bed. She was exhausted, absolutely exhausted. For a week straight, she had been mission after mission, they ranged from info errands to high stakes kills. She could feel her sore hips burn.

“Don’t forget you have a meeting with Luka today at 6 and a gala to attend tomorrow at 2 that lasts until 10.” One of her Homunculi said, bringing a warm wet towel.

“Ughhh…”

“Don’t complain, Mistress. You sound like a child.”

*Blop*

“You okay baby?” Ruggie asked, holding Ivy’s hand. Both of them were walking into NRC.

“I’m fine, just tired as shit.” Ivy explained. At the moment their relationship was one of give and take, they both deeply loved each other but were too afraid to say it.

“You sure? Your uniform is pretty messy, I’m surprised Vil let you leave the dorm!” Ruggie chuckled, fixing her shirt, and tie. Ivy smiled as she watched him, his cute little face clearly focused on helping her.

“That hyena’s fucking lucky.”

“Yeah, he gets to fuck that hot ass”

“I’m sure when she gets bored of him, she’ll leave him!”

“Whores like her never stick to one guy!”

Ivy’s eyes didn’t move from Ruggie, even though she could hear the students whispering about her. She didn’t blame them, they had every right to call her that..

*Blop Blop*

Ivy walked around the Inferno Mafia Mansion, doing reports to Luka was never her favorite job but it had to be done. As she walked into his office, she instead found her mother.

“Mom. What are you doing here?” She asked. Her mother looked over at her, her cold blue eyes decorated with eyeshadow and eyeliner.

“I don’t know if you know this, Ivory, but I work here too.”

“Hardly as anything important.”

“I’d keep my mouth shut if I were you. We’re not different. I may be one of the prostitutes, but you’re the one with the official title of the Mafia’s Whore.”

“…”

“Oh, and Alexander wants the file on the Jabberwocky project.”

“Why didn’t he come tell me in person?”

“You know he couldn’t care less about you. You should be grateful I even speak to you. You’re nothing more than a burden to us.”

“...mom…”

Ivy tried to step closer to Madison, only to be met with a harsh slap to her face.

“And quit calling me that! I am NOT your mother and I never will be!” Madison yelled, “You’re nothing but a fucking whore! A worthless pig! A monster! You’re worth nothing!”

*Blop Blop Blop*

“That’s enough, Madison!” Luka called out. He stood by the door, Elle and Jewel standing beside him. “Your job was to bring me the reports on new projects. NOT to harass Ivy.”

Madison scoffed, storming out of the room, shoving past Elle. Elle blew a raspberry at her, while Jewel gave her the stink eye.

“Are you alright, Ivy?” Luka asked, walking over to her and cupping her cheek, gently rubbing the slap. Ivy nodded. “Girls, take Ivy back to her room.”

“But the project-”

“We can work on it later, your asshole of a mother ruined my mood.”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Elle and Jewel took Ivy back to her room, helping her get ready for bed.

“You okay, Ivy?” Jewel asked, brushing Ivy’s hair out of her face.

“Yes. I’m fine, seriously you guys.” Ivy sighed, handing Jewel the ribbon to tie her hair back.

“Can I ask something? What’s your relationship with Ruggie like?” Elle questioned, filing down her nails.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, like why are you with him? You two play it off as dating but I know how you are with real relationships.” Elle pointed at Ivy with the nail file.

“Look, it's just a simple case of a sugar baby and sugar mommy. He’s using me for my money and I just want a cute pet. That’s that.“ Ivy said, playfully slapping the nail file away.

“Even so, I want that relationship to end. Now.”

The girls looked over and saw Luka entering the room, a not so happy look on his face.

“What? Luka, what are you talking about?” Ivy stood up, walking over to her older brother.

“I don’t want you playing around with some dirty beastmen. That boy should not be in your life one way or another.” He spoke in a harsh tone, Luka had never questioned Ivy’s actions before, even if he didn’t like her flirting around.

“Luka, it’s a mutual agreement! I don’t see why you should care, it’s not like we’re actually dating!”

“But you want that! You want to date him and that’s why I don't want you engaging with him!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Yes I do, Ivy! You may not realize it but you are in love with that boy and you’re using this as an excuse to be around him! It’s not healthy for either of you! It has to stop now!”

“NO! This is the only way!”

“Ivy! You’re only going to hurt yourself! He doesn’t love you!”

“I KNOW! SHUT UP!” Ivy snapped, her fists clenching, nails digging into her palms, “I KNOW I CAN’T HAVE HIM!! BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN EVER BE CLOSE TO HIM!”

Everyone went quiet, while Jewel and Elle had sad, empathetic looks on their faces, Luka’s was a mix of empathy and an empty gaze. At the silence, Ivy started to storm out of the room.

“Where are you going?!” Luka yelled out.

“I’m staying at NRC! Where I won’t be hassled!” She yelled back, slamming her room door.

*Blop, Blop, Blop*

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Luka released the breath he had been holding in, slumping into a chair.

“Luka…don’t you think you could’ve been easier on her?” Elle said, sitting on Ivy’s bed.

“I agree, you were very harsh on her..” Jewel added.

“I know..I just…she’s gonna get hurt if she continues this! That boy is going to fall in love and leave her in the cold, and then what? She goes back to being an emotionless doll?!”

“She has us! We could always help her re-learn emotions!” Elle suggested, she knew about Ivy’s struggle to learn emotions.

“It took Ivy fifteen years to even feel any shred of happiness! I can’t stand by and watch her regress to that again…”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Ivy slipped quietly into Pomifiore’s common room, closing the window and quietly making her way up the stairs, until she heard someone speak.

“Bonjour Madame Veuve Noire!” Rook smiled from the top of the stairs, causing Ivy to nearly fall backwards.

“SEVENS- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!” Ivy whisper-yelled, putting her hand on her heart. How the hell did she not know he was there?

“I was awaiting your return to our lovely dorm!” He simply smiled. Sevens, she hated that smile.

“How the fuck did you know I was gone?”

“I noticed you tend to leave often around midnight, you know beauty sleep is important, Madame!” He then grabbed her arms and threw her over his shoulder, “Now off to bed!”

“PUT ME DOWN! I CAN WALK!” Ivy again whisper yelled, not wanting to wake up the dorm, she kicked and smacked Rook but he wasn’t letting go. He only put her down once they were outside her and Soleil’s shared room.

“Have a wonderful sleep, Madame Veuve Noire!” He chirps as he walks away. Words could not describe how uneasy she left around him. Despite that, Ivy slipped into her room, looking over at a gracefully sleeping Soleil, hands folded perfectly on her stomach.

She sighed and slipped into bed, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“This better be good, or else you’re dead meat.” A man in a black suit warned, glaring daggers at the blonde woman in front of him.

“I think this information will be of use to you. The assassin you’re after, The Black Widow, has a weakness~”

“And that is?”

“This boy. Ruggie Bucchi, hyena beastman from the slums who attends Night Raven College. She’s sickly in love with him. Use him as bait and she’s sure to come running.” She places photos of him on the man’s desk.

“And why are you helping us? Why should I believe one of my enemy’s prostitutes?!” The man questioned.

“Because I hate that cunt more than anyone else in the world, I brought her into this world, and I want her out of it.” Madison scoffed, glaring at the picture of Ivy and Ruggie on a bench together. The man chuckled darkly, picking up his knife and stabbing it into the picture of Ivy.

“Consider it done~”

“Come onnnn! Come with meee!!” Ruggie whined, tugging on Ivy’s cardigan. He had been tasked with buying groceries, but instead of wanting the usual stuff from Sam’s shop, Leona wanted food from off campus. With Ivy’s help they were able to get him a pass to leave but he wanted Ivy to come with him.

“I can’t, I’m busy with things. I’m sorry honey, just take Jack with you!” She apologized, leaning her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm around him.

“NOoOoOo, I wanna spend time with you!” Ruggie groaned, snatching her up by her waist and nuzzling his face into her neck. Ivy giggled, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

“It shouldn’t take you that long. The faster you go, the faster you can get back to me~” She purred against his lips, finding the floor again and slipping out of his arms. “Now hurry up and go before it gets dark!”

Ruggie sighed dreamily, grabbing his wallet and walking out of his dorm.

Ruggie had finished picking up the food he needed, but was struggling to find his way back. It was like the world had turned upside down, one minute he was in a crowded market area and the next he’s in an empty street. He knew well enough to keep his guard up but what could a little hyena do against a trained kidnapper…

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

It had been two hours since Ruggie had gone out.

“Why is he taking so long?!” Ivy questioned, pacing around Savannaclaw.

“I don’t know, but would you quit that! Your stupid heels are making too much noise.” Leona groaned, turning to glare at Ivy.

“Well excuse me for worrying about my boyfriend!” She said sassily. She checked her phone again, to her misfortune, he hasn’t texted her.

“He’s probably just stuck in traffic or something..” The Lion said, rolling onto his back.

“No, it’s not busy, besides he would have texted me! Something’s wrong…” Just as she said it Elle bursted into Savannaclaw.

“Ivy! I need to talk with you! Now!”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Ruggie was tied to a pole, a rag wrapped around his mouth to keep him quiet. Tears ran down his face, small bruises, dried blood, and dirt stained his face and clothes. The sight was Ivy’s worst nightmare. A man walked into the frame, his long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail, eyes covered by a black mask. He was dressed in a dark suit, it was clear he wasn’t the one torturing Ruggie.

“Hello Ms.Jackson. We did warn you that you’d be making an enemy out of the wrong person. We’ve taken your little puppy, and if you want to see him ever again, you’d comply with the instructions we’ve attached to this video. Your pet depends on you~” And with that, the video ended.

Ivy was livid, she was enraged, she was scared, she was anxious, she could feel every emotion that was not positive. This was the most emotion Ivy had ever felt in her whole life, even when she freed herself, she didn’t feel much.

“What are you going to do?” Elle asked, seeing the look on Ivy’s face worried her.

“I’m gonna fucking kill them.” Ivy answered, starting to grab her equipment.

“What?! But you’ll be killed! They’ll have every measure ready for you! You can’t use your skills to get out of this, Ivy!” Ivy ignored her, moving past her.

“Even if that happens, Ruggie has no part in this! My one goal is to get him out of there, even if I have to die in the process!” She said, storming out of the room.

“…Ivy…”

“In just a few minutes my stress levels will finally go back to normal~” The blonde man smiled, fiddling with the scalpel between his fingers. Ruggie squirmed against the rag, trying to get the rag off. “Ah, my apologies! Let’s see what you have to say!” The man pulls the rag down. Ruggie gasped and coughed.

“What the fuck is your problem! Why are you doing this?!” He coughed out. The man’s smile dropped.

“How typical, you pets and your naïveté,” he groans, “your mistress is a shitty person, especially to me and my group, so we’re getting rid of her!”

“You’re wrong!! Ivy’s not a shitty person, she’s kind, and smart, and she would never hurt anyone!”

“Oh really? Tell that to the millions of people your precious princess has been hired to kill, or has she not told you yet?~”

“…what are you talking about?”

“The infamous assassin no one has been able to catch, some know her as The Mistress of the Dark, the Princess of the night, The Black Widow, The devil’s daughter, or Ivy Jackson.” The man smirks, pulling out pictures of Ivy during her work, pictures of her with men, with executives, covered in blood, around corpses, and with weapons, “She’s earned herself quite the reputation, how sad she didn’t trust you with this information~”

“…n-no…no you’re wrong…You’re wrong!!”

“Am I? Is this not what you expected from your ‘girlfriend’, how sad~” He laughs, dropping the pictures on the ground. “Oh, I do hope you’ll forgive me! This is nothing personal against you, you just happen to be her toy at the moment, and we had to drug you too, so sorry! That drug was just to make sure you couldn’t escape using your Unique Magic!”

“…toy?”

“Well yes, did you really believe you two were actually dating!” The man laughed, “that girl is incapable of any kind of emotion. She’s had many pets before you, she just wants something to play with then she gets bored of you and throws you out like a discarded toy~”

“…no…no, this can’t be true…”

“Poor baby~ let me tell you more about her~”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Ivy snuck through their entrance easily, though it had been covered head to toe with security. Having to take out a few of the guards on the inside was slightly tougher but nothing she hadn’t been through. Finally getting to the room Ruggie was being held in, Ivy wasted no time in kicking down the door and aiming her gun straight at the blonde man, Ruggie still tied to the pole but with tear stains running down his face.

“Ah! Ms.Jackson! How lovely to see you!-”

“Cut the bullshit. Let him go. And no one gets hurt!”

“Mmhm! You see the only problem with that is…you’re already dead~” the man smirked, quickly dropping a smoke bomb on the ground, the smoke blinded Ivy for a moment before she started quickly moving around the room.

She couldn’t risk shooting blindly, not knowing where Ruggie was. Suddenly she was harshly kicked to the ground, she heard Ruggie gasp. The man dug his heels into the back of her neck, laughing as he did so. Ivy slid the knife out of her thigh holster, stabbing it into her ankle. The man hissed and backed away, Ivy quickly scampered up and retrieved her gun, shooting at his stomach, chest and legs.

Once the man doubled over in pain, screaming and bleeding, Ivy ran to free Ruggie, cutting the ropes and picking him up. She quickly ran out of the building, making it back to the helicopter. Ruggie tried to catch his breath, struggling to process what he had just witnessed. Ivy held him close to her as they took off, messaging his ears and his upper back.

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re safe now my darling. I’ve got you, you’re safe. I promise!” She repeated, tears forming in her eyes. Her words caused Ruggie to relax and fall asleep.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Ruggie woke up to a stinging feeling on his cheek, she whined and slowly opened his eyes. When he opened them he saw Ivy, now in regular clothes, holding a cotton ball and some rubbing alcohol.

“Hey…you’re awake! Sorry if I woke you up, I just wanted to take care of your cuts as soon as I could!” She weakly smiled, continuing to clean his cut.

Ruggie whined a little at the stinging but kept still, he was laying on a soft king sized bed, the blankets were soft and warm, silky and expensive. He looked around and immediately recognized Ivy’s guest room.

“…Ruggie…I’m so sorry…” Ivy started, putting away the cotton ball and gently placing a bandage on his cut, “I-I don’t know why that man would do that…I can’t believe-”

“Is it true?” Ruggie interrupted her, not meeting Ivy’s gaze.

“W-What? Is what true?”

“…that you’re a killer?…” Ivy froze. Her body went cold.

“What are you talking about? O-Of course I’m not! Where would you get an idea like that?!”

“That guy told me, he showed me pictures of you! You were there! You kill him! You killed other people!” Ruggie’s voice started to rise. Ivy flinched, struggling to find a way out of this situation. Normally she would have no problem lying to someone but this was the boy she loved, she couldn’t do that to him.

“Ruggie please, just listen-”

“Listen to what?! More of your lies?!”

“No! Ruggie-”

“Was I just a pet to you?! Were you going to get rid of me when you got bored of me?!” He got up from the bed, stumbling over to the door.

“Of course not! Ruggie please you have to listen-”

“Did you listen to your victims?! Did you have to listen to them beg?!”

“Ruggie! They were all terrible people-”

“LIKE YOU?!”

“…r-ruggie..”

“YOU KILL PEOPLE! YOU TOOK INNOCENT LIVES! YOU’RE IN THE MAFIA! HOW CAN I EVER TRUST YOU?!!”

“Please Ruggie! You don’t understand!!”

“NO! I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY FINE!! YOU’RE A COLD BLOODED KILLED! A MURDER! A MONSTER!”

Ivy stopped following him, her legs became weak, tears that she had been fighting back started to well up.

“STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU MONSTER!” And with that, Ruggie slammed the door shut and left Ivy’s penthouse. Ivy ordered her Homunculi to give him a ride back to NRC.

*Blop. Blop. Blop*

“Ivy? What are you doing over here?” Elle asked, walking into the botanical garden of NRC. Ivy had wandered over there to distract herself, failing to realize that her thoughts just got worse and worse. Ivy was just standing in the middle of the garden.

“…he called me a monster…” Ivy mumbled, hands scratching at her arms.

“What? Ivy, tell me what happened!” Elle said, running in front of Ivy to hold her. Jewel slowly walked into the garden as well, staying out of sight.

“..I’m a monster…hehe…that’s right, I’ve always been a monster.” Ivy began to laugh.

“N-No! Hey! What are you talking about?!” Elle desperately tried to get closer to Ivy, only to have her use her Unique Magic on her.

“GET AWAY FROM ME! I’m a cold blooded killer…I’m a monster! I’M A MONSTER!!” Ivy yelled, blot running down her eyes. Elle and Jewel’s eyes widened as the blot took over Ivy.

*BLOP*

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“Are you alright, Ruggie?” Soleil asked, approaching the hyena, who was sitting in the hall of mirrors.

“Ah! Oh..hey Soleil…I’m just…I got into a fight with Ivy…” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What was it about? You two hardly ever fight.” She asks, elegantly sitting down beside him.

“…well..it was about…her job..”

“Ah, did she finally tell you?”

“Wait, you knew?!”

“Yes, I have known for quite a while now.”

“B-But you two are still friends?”

“Yes, why would we not be?”

“It’s just…you know…because she…she’s-”

“An assassin? That did not change my perception of her.”

“Why?! She hurts people! She’s killed people!”

“Ruggie. Ivy was born into that situation. She had no choice but to do what she was told. You steal and pick-pocket to survive, do you not? It is the same with Ivy. She grew up in a harsh environment with no way out.”

“Y-Yeah…but…”

“Has she told you about Lev?”

“Who?”

“SOLEIL!! RUGGIE!!” Jewel yelled, quickly running to them. They both looked over at her, she was panting, trying to catch her breath.

“What’s wrong, Jewel?” Ruggie asked, both of them walking over to her.

“IT'S IVY! SHE OVERBLOTTED!”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Soleil, Ruggie and Jewel rushed into the botanical garden, where Ivy’s Overblot form stood. Her hair was now entirely black, down to her ankles, and a black veil was draped on top of her head, her torso and chest were decorated in a black, almost red, top that looked like a gown, she wore various jewels, her fingertips were covered in blot. The bottom of the ‘gown’ was millions of black strings and Ivy’s human legs had turned into three pairs of black, inky spider legs. Half of her face was hidden behind a broken happy mask. Behind her was her phantom, a giant spider with a cracked vial of blot for a head.

(Art by @kiyomizuki , TYSM!!)

Around her were balls of black webs, the three of them could see a few of their friends wrapped up in them, Elle, Allen, Hopper, Riddle, Epel, and a few more. Leona, Rook, Deuce, Trey, Cater, Ace, Jack, and more students were scattered around, trying to fight Ivy.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Ruggie yelled out to Leona, who was trying to free Epel from the webs.

“YOUR GIRLFRIEND OVERBLOTTED! NOW HURRY UP AND SNAP HER OUT OF IT!” Leona barked back, struggling to rip the webs. Soleil rushed to help Rook free other students, while Jewel went to help people escape.

“IVY!! THAT’S ENOUGH!” Ruggie yelled, catching Ivy’s attention. She went silent, almost stopping everything she was doing, “YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR!” Ruggie continued. Ivy started maniacally laughing.

“Ohohohooo! What’s this?~ You don’t like me like this?” She laughed, her voice distorted, she used her webs to pick him up. “Why do you look so surprised? After all, I’m just a monster!”

“T-THAT’S NOT TRUE! IVY! LISTEN TO ME!”

“HAHAHAAA!! USING MY OWN WORDS AGAINST ME?! I DON’T THINK SO!” She cackled. Using the She’s that held him, she lifted him high into the air and slammed him to the ground. He could hear people calling out his name but he could only concentrate on the pain.

Ivy laughed more and stabbed one of her sharp legs into his stomach, not enough to go through but just enough to make him bleed out a lot. “I’m the monster you wanted so badly~ your welcome HAHAHAA!”

Ruggie’s vision went black.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

After a lot of fighting, Ivy had finally snapped out of her craze. She woke up to Elle and Jewel hugging her tightly.

“Oh thank sevens! You’re okay!!” They cried, burying their faces into Ivy’s shoulders. Ivy winced a little but let out a weak laugh.

“Hey you two, calm down..” Ivy looked around, seeing everything she’d done, “...I-I’m so sorry…I..I don’t know what to say…wait, where’s Ruggie?!” Everyone looked away, some pointed at Rook and Soleil who were currently trying to stop Ruggie from bleeding out.

Ivy’s breath caught in her throat, she rushed over to him. Once she got to him, Rook and Soleil moved away to give her space. Ruggie’s eyes were dull, but not lifeless, blood spilling from the corner of his mouth and staining his shirt. Ivy let out a choked scream, fat tears starting to run down her face.

“NO!! RUGGIE PLEASE!! PLEASE STAY WITH ME!! I’M SO SORRY!! PLEASE KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN! P-PLEASE DON’T L..LEAVE ME!! DON’T LEAVE ME PLEASE!! I’M SO SORRY!! I’M SO SORRY!!”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“He’ll be okay, his wound isn’t deep enough to kill him.” Via said, wrapping one final bandage on Ruggie’s stomach. She had been informed of the situation and was quick to heal Ruggie with her Unique Magic.

Ivy sat in one of the chairs next to the bed, quietly.

“…Ivy…do you wanna talk about it?” Ivy shook her head, “…okay, umm, I’ll give you two some time alone..” Via walked out of the nurse’s office, probably going to tell the others of Ruggie’s condition. Ivy turned to look at the unconscious Ruggie, tears started to fall from her eyes again. She let herself lay her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“…h-how could I do this to you…I-I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!” She wept, trying to be as quiet as she could. She looked at him, cupping his cheek and placing one last kiss on his forehead. “I’m so sorry…but…you won’t have to suffer anymore..”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Everyone was relieved when they came into the nurse’s office and saw Ruggie awake. They hugged him and shared slightly teasing comments.

“Glad to see you’re awake, ya little runt!” Leona smirked, ruffling his dirty blonde hair.

“Haha, yeah, good to see ya too.” Ruggie replied, hugging Mateo and Kaegen with each arm, both of them refusing to let go. “How’re you guys holding up?” Ruggie asked, looking over at a few of his friends that had been in the cocoons of webs.

“Oh please, your condition is so much worse than ours!” Allen said, he was sat on one of the chairs with Deuce sitting next to him, running his hands on his bandages.

“Seriously, ya got some nerve asking us that when you’re the one with a hole in your stomach!” Epel playful yelled, getting a smack upside the head from Vil, and a scolding later.

“Where’s Ivy?” Ruggie asked, noticing that she was missing.

“She was the first one in here. When we came in, she wasn’t here..” Deuce said, holding Allen’s hand.

“C-Can someone go find her? I wanna talk to her!” Everyone slowly and hesitantly nodded, sending a few people to go look for her.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GONE?!” Ruggie raised his voice at Elle and Jewel, he didn’t want to be rude but everyone had looked everywhere and no one could find Ivy, her room was left the same, nothing out of place. It was only when Elle and Jewel were questioned on Ivy’s whereabouts that they told everyone that Ivy had run away from NRC.

“…Ivy has decided to never come back to NRC, she’s cutting off contact with everyone…even us…” Elle said, squeezing Jewel’s hand to comfort her. Everyone was shocked and worried.

“Please! You have to tell her to come back!” Ruggie begged again, trying to get out of the bed but was held down by Leona and Rook. “PLEASE! PLEASE!! I NEED TO SEE HER AGAIN!!”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Luka watched as his sister looked out the window, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes were decorated in eyebags.

“…Ivy…I’m sorry…” Luka sighed sadly.

“..no…you were right…I should have ended it a long time ago…” Ivy said, letting even more tears fall from her eyes, “Maybe then…this wouldn’t have hurt so much…”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

It had been a year since Ivy left, most things had gone back to normal, a new school year started. Soleil was now the Housewarden of Pomfiore, she led that dorm with grace and elegance as Vil did, but her vice housewarden had not yet been chosen. Ruggie had also taken the Housewarden role once Leona finally graduated.

The name Ivy became a sore topic, not just around Pomifiore, but the whole school. Freshman would be hushed if they questioned it around specific students. Many students who would give Ivy a bad name would find themselves on the chopping block, especially if Savannaclaw and Pomifore’s Housewardens heard it first.

Many students had dealt with the pain of Ivy’s disappearance, Ruggie and Soleil especially. Ruggie hadn’t stopped looking for Ivy, it was only when Elle started crying with him that he reluctantly stopped searching. Soleil had respected Ivy’s decision but could no longer bear the pain of the stress alone, no one’s wounds had been healed, they were only hiding them. As a last attempt, she sent Rook a letter.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Ivy had been living in a secured home on the other side of Twisted Wonderland, far away from any connections. She had her homunculi do almost everything around the home while she basically wasted away. Her hair became long and matted and her eyes became dull.

While she laid in bed, snuggled under at least five blankets, she thought about everything: about her relationship with Ruggie, her sisters’, her parents, her job, her life, her feelings, her-

“Bonjour Madame Veuve Noire!” And suddenly she was yanked from her blankets and thrown over a shoulder, connected to a very blonde bob.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! ROOK?! PUT ME DOWN!!” She yelled, kicking and hitting him. He simply ignored her and started prancing out of her room. Many of the homunculi got ready to attack but Ivy’s stopped them.

“DO NOT ATTACK HIM!! lay your weapons down!” She warned them, continuing to kick and scream for him to free her.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

They had gotten pretty far into the woods, Rook decided they had walked enough for the day, and as the sun was setting, they’d need to sleep. He placed Ivy down on a stump, reaching for an apple from one of the nearby trees.

“Eat up, Lierre, we must have strength for the journey back to NRC!” He smiled, taking a bite from another apple he plucked. Ivy glared at him but complied.

“Why did you come?” She asked, voice slightly muffled by the apple, “After a year, NOW you decide to come find me?! How did you even find me?! You know what, I don't wanna know that last one, It’ll just piss me off more.” She groaned, taking another bite.

“My darling told me to! She’s been very worried about you, did you know? She’s never stopped looking for you since that day.” Rook said, sitting down on another stump.

“…I shouldn’t be going back…I don’t belong there, Rook..” Ivy frowned while looking at the setting sun.

“If that is true then why didn’t you stop me.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement.

“What?”

“You could have easily used your Unique Magic against me, or had your homunculi attack me, or used the weapons you hide on yourself at all times, but you did not.”

“T-That’s because you caught me off guard! I-I wasn’t expecting you to come and kidnap me!!” Ivy yelled, slapping him on the arm.

“What is truly plaguing your mind, Madame?” Rook asked, the harsh slap not even fazing him.

“…I-It’s Ruggie…I hurt him…I almost killed him! No matter what I do, I always end up hurting him! Every decision I’ve ever made has caused him pain!…he hates me now…” Ivy fought back the tears bubbling up in her eyes.

“Ivy. I have watched Monsieur Dandelion weep for your return the moment you left, he has never stopped searching for you, he aches for you to return to him.”

Rook explained, “And I know you ache for him as well.”

“I do…but no matter what I do…I always hurt him…”

“I know something you could do that would not hurt him.”

“What’s that?”

“Go back to him.” Rook said, wiping a tear away from her face. “Everyone, not just Monsieur Dandelion, is waiting for you. Won’t you come home to them?”

“…yeah…I will” Ivy smiled, her first real smile since the day she Overblotted.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

Rook elegantly opened the door to Pomifiore, Ivy on his shoulder.

“Ma Chérie! I have returned!” Rook called out, a few freshmen looked at him weirdly until Soleil walked over to greet him.

“My dear, welcome back. I see you have brought Ivy back,” Rook puts Ivy down, to which Soleil slowly and gracefully checks Ivy for any kind of injury, “Are you alright? Are you injured in any way?”

“I’m fine, Soleil. I didn’t run away to the woods, geez.” Ivy laughed, taking her hands into her’s. “Wow, look at you! You’re a Housewarden now!”

“Yes, I am. It was not only by vote but Vil also nominated me.”

“IVY!! YOU’RE BACK!!” They both turned to see Epel running down the hall and tackle Ivy into a hug, knocking them both to the ground.

“Ack! Haha! Hey Epel! Look at you! You’ve grown up nice and strong!” Ivy laughed, hugging him back tightly.

“I MISSED YA SO MUCH!! YOU’RE BACKK!!!” Epel cheered, “You’re staying, right?!”

“…Y-Yeah, yeah! I’m staying!”

“THANK SEVENS!!”

“Epel, if you could please remove yourself from Ivy, I would like to speak to her, privately.” Epel listened to his Housewarden, helping Ivy off the ground and watched both ladies walk up stairs.

“How lovely it will be to have Madame Veuve Noire back!” Rook smiled.

“Did she fight all the way over here?”

“No, I had a lovely conversation ready to convince her!”

“Then why was she over your shoulder?”

“Before we got on campus she told me to carry her that way, she said because she ‘did not want people thinking we’re friends’.”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“The dorm’s looking good! Bet you’re doing good as Housewarden! Let me guess, Epel’s your vice?” Ivy spoke, walking into Soleil’s room.

“No, I have yet to choose a vice-housewarden.”

“Damn, really? Why?” Ivy asked.

“Because, I have been waiting for your return. I have been saving the role of Vice-Housewarden for you.” Soleil said, pulling out a Pomifiore uniform from her closet, it was a green box, labeled ‘Ivy’.

“…W-What? W-Why me?” Ivy stammered, hesitantly taking the uniform Soleil handed her.

“I could not never dream of another person more worthy of being my vice-housewarden than you, my dear friend.” Soleil said, tucking Ivy’s hair behind her ear, a small and subtle smile gracing her face. Ivy smiled back at her.

“I would be honored!”

Pomifiore was celebrating the return of Ivy and the announcement of their new Vice-Housewarden, when a familiar hyena beastman bursted through the doors. A few freshmen pulled out their pens, ready to attack the intruder but Soleil was quick to stop them.

“Where is she?!” Ruggie’s voice made Ivy’s body freeze. Was she ready to face him yet?

“Ah! Monsieur Dandelion, please come this way!” Rook said, leading Ruggie into the common room. Soleil quickly led everyone out of the room, giving Ruggie and Ivy room to discuss.

“…Ruggie…hehe, look at you, you’re a Housewarden now!” Ivy said with a closed eyed smile.

“Stop it.”

“Huh?”

“Stop doing that! You’ve always done that! Even before we were together, you’d always play off any problems you had!” Ruggie raised his voice, he saw Ivy look away from him.

“…Ruggie…”

“Why did you leave?! I was waiting to talk to you and when I wake up you’re gone?! Why?!!”

“…I was too afraid to face you…after what I had done…”

“…SO YOU LEFT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?!! DO YOU KNOW HOW WORTHLESS I FELT?!! YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE TRASH!!” Ruggie yelled. Ivy’s eyes widened at his tone, she knew this was coming but it still hurt her. “You were afraid?!…Good for you! ALL I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO SEE ME!!”

They both stayed quiet for a while, Ruggie finally let the tears fall from his eyes, the tears of frustration and guilt and anger he had been holding in since he became Housewarden. Ivy slowly walked over to him, hugging him tightly.

“Please…let’s just…talk..please.” Ruggie begged, holding on tightly to Ivy’s waist, scared that if he let go, she would disappear again.

“Okay…let’s talk..”

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

“Move over! I wanna hear!”

“I can’t hear them! Shut up!”

“Bro! Scoot over!” Many students pushed and shoved at each other, trying to lean against the door to listen to the conversation.

“That is enough. All of you. Come, it is clear that you all need extra lessons.” Soleil warned them, dragging some of them by the back collar of their shirts.

“…Elle told me everything…about your parents, Luka,…Lev” Ruggie said, he was sat next to Ivy on one of the couches. Ivy made a mental note to both thank and scold Elle when she saw her again.

“…yeah…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…I was just…I knew that would react like that…and you had every right to..” Ivy sighed, rubbing her arm with nervousness.

“…yeah…but I shouldn’t have said any of that to you. You’re not a monster,” Ruggie grabbed one of her hands and held it in his, with his other hand he cupped her cheek, “I was dealing with a tone of information being thrown at me. You didn’t choose to work for them, I understand that now…I’m so sorry…”

“No, No, it’s okay! I get it, it’s not the easiest thing to-”

“It’s not just that..” Ruggie interrupted her, his ears laying flat against his head, “The whole time we were together…I never noticed anything, all the signs were there but I just ignored them because I used to see you as my ticket out of poverty…because I didn’t want to believe you had any flaws. But now I see that you do, you have flaws you have to work on, and I wanna help you through them!” He admitted, bringing Ivy closer to himself. “Please, let’s start over, yeah? Let’s be a real couple this time?”

“Ruggie, all this time…I felt like having a relationship with you wasn’t an option for me…I was scared of the danger I would put you in…I was scared that I couldn’t give you a normal peaceful future without completely lying to you…but…but I wanna be real with you. I want a real relationship with you, Ruggie Bucchi!”

Ruggie’s tail wagged, he brought her in and they shared a passionate kiss. This was going to be the start of a much happier time, for both of them.

TYSM FOR READING! MY FINGERS HURT😭

[youmakethelight]

I actually might delete this blog tbh. Not that anyone asked.

I made this side blog 2 months ago bc I loved season 10 of TWD so much that I got really invested in rewatching the whole series for Carol and Daryl, and I wanted to write my thoughts somewhere instead of continuing to annoy my friends who never watched the show. But all my thoughts then were really positive and fun and brought me joy. And now, ever since I've seen the reality of the turn things took in real life, it's just so depressing.

The way Carol and Melissa McBride are treated makes me feel truly fucking horrible. And I've tried to channel that into activism and using my voice in solidarity, but I'm finding it more and more depressing honestly. Most of the voices that made me feel stronger have disappeared, and I'm starting to feel hopeless. And that's especially when I realise how much shit already went on in the past few years before I was here.

It's been a whirlwind few months for me bc I stopped watching TWD years ago and just caught up and binge watched from season 9. After I finished, I found out about everything the fandom, Melissa, and Angela Kang went through regarding the spin-off. Knowing that even after that, we got Melissa back, gave me hope. But seeing how much AMC has ignored other issues and fans' voices makes me feel disheartened. It feels a bit like I'm exerting emotional energy only to be shouting into a void.

It feels wrong to try to move on and leave because the issues remain, and Melissa McBride, in particular, needs and deserves support. But I honestly don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

A week or so ago, I signed up to a website to write fan reactions, reviews etc. about tboc because I thought that could have some positive impact. So, maybe I'll do that... but to be honest, I don't think I've got it in me anymore. I guess I just feel like I'm doing significantly more emotional labour than will have positive impact.

Even when I try to consume feminist progressive media instead, I just keep being reminded of how shit it is that AMC can't do the same for Melissa and her fans, and anybody who works on or watches the show who isn't a straight cis white man. So, then I get upset by a thought I have and go on here or twitter to try to do something positive about it, but it feels sort of pointless. So, now I'm at a point where this blog doesn't bring me joy, and I don't feel like it helps anyone, so I just don't think it's worth it anymore?

I'm literally so bad at giving up on things, so there's a decent chance I won't leave. But to be honest, I want to. I'm tired.

[lillybearrie]

Guys- guys! I need to talk about this because omfg arararara

Ok so I was watching sherb's most recent hardcore stream, or more accurately got not even a minute in and ran to Tumblr because I have thoughts, and maybe it's because I just binged Icarus's pov post-centross death but the first like 30 seconds or so of the hardcore stream made me realize the difference between someone like hardcore!Sherbert and Icarus.

Icarus is in a deep state of self loathing and needing to grief so so many things so many people they need to process so so much but their own father has convinced them that it's pointless that it's not worth it that they should just focus on other things like helping him in his endeavors and so they don't and instead they bear the weight of this feeling of guilt and dread that they carry it around all day every day and they use it like armor because they don't have much else anymore. They pour all of the doubt they used to have into blind faith in fable's cause because they will not process and they will not grief over the fact that in only the past 4 months they have either indirectly or directly been at fault for 2 of their friends deaths and that their very existence prompted the destruction of so many peoples lives fable caused the resets for them to save their life fable destroyed reality over and over and over until the universe was delt what is likely irreparable damage all for them and honesty we really don't talk enough about the guilt they must carry for that. Icarus wakes up and even if it's been a few weeks is immediately so so tired the weight of everything going on in their life waking up with them waking up with the voices that constantly tell them what they already know the voices the yell and scream that their wrong that their hurting people again that their acting corrupted The voices that never shut up day in and day out. And they stretch because sometimes keeping a routine in times like this is key to keeping sane and yk stretching is just generally a good habit. Their alone except for the emotionally distant basterd of a previously immortal man that dares call himself a father ( we're not gonna talk about how the stuff he instilled in ick when they were little influenced a large part of how the corruption presented itself in them during season 1 because this is not that post but if it was I would have so many words you don't even know) life right now is one big distraction and when it's not they either have a break down or they're chasing the next distraction and you can see that when they wake up because you get 2 kinds of Icarus in the morning angry Icarus who will take it out on quixis or us because they need that emotional release and we're easy targets or planning Icarus who is only thinking about what they need to do today they do mindless chores or talk with co-workers or are figuring out how to complete task fable asks of them.

Hardcore!Sherbert on the other hand is for better or worse alone completely and utterly aside from the things their's not a single actual person in their life. they farm they build they vibe and weird shit happens around them sometimes and they hear voices, they wake up and look forward to the next day even when they've been asleep for months they look in the bright side "not a bad thing tho it's important to get your sleep" they are so... free in comparison with Icarus and you can hear it in the way they talk its lighter you can see it in they way they move it made me realize how little Icarus actually truly smiles nowadays hardcore!sherbert has their fair share of struggles don't get me wrong but at they end of the day they're happy they enjoy life for the most part.

And Sherb does such a good Job acting out this fundamental difference between these two variations of the same guy. I go ababababa it think it's neattt anyway go appreciate Sherbertquake56's phenomenal acting after this long ass post psychoanalizing they way their minecraft characters wake up which is a total sane and normal thing to make a Tumblr post about at 4 am mhm

[inneedofsupervision]

I didn't ask, did I? (Chapter 7)

Happy begrudgingly steps aside and walks after Tony into the diner. The billionaire skillfully ignores the gasps of surprise and the poor attempt to take pictures of him secretly as he strides straight up to the counter. "Two cheeseburgers and a large fry. To go." "Please get in line and wait for your turn, Sir." "Excuse me?" Tony slowly pulls his sunglasses down and glances at the skinny teen behind the register. "Bad hearing comes with age, huh?" mutters the teen under his breath. Happy makes a choking sound behind him. ___________________ Or, how Tony Stark gets sassed by some high schooler working part-time and makes it his mission to figure out what he did to make this kid he'd never seen hate him. If that means annoying the hell out of said high schooler, that's not his problem.

Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10

Chapter Summary: Rhodey and Tony finally leave, and Peter is left alone with his thoughts.

(Read on Ao3)

Peter's forehead leans against the door. Only after the engine of Mr. Stark's car howled and the tires started to roll did the teen dare push his fingers between the blinds and pull them aside to peek out of the window.

They are finally gone.

With a deep sigh, Peter raises a hand, ready to run it through his hair, only to stop when he realizes that it's still covered in paint.

If Aunt May knew about what he did, he would get sentenced to a week's worth of house chores. Including a deep clean of the bathroom.

"Not my most glorious moment."

After several minutes, with the help of half a bottle of dish liquid, an old sponge, and lots of hot water, Peters's hands were reddened but free of paint and smelled, according to the dishwashing label, of gentle citrus dreams, whatever that meant.

While drying his hand, the teen couldn't help thinking about his act of revenge. It was petty.

Peter feels ashamed to use his abilities for something so childish and silly. He is Spider-Man. He should be the one keeping people from vandalizing, and what did he do? Smearing one of the most important buildings in NYC, just because he let Mr. Stark provoke him.

"If I simply hadn't said anything. Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?"

The guilty conscience grew while he worked on a persistent sauce stain on one of the tables with his rag.

Mr. Stark mentioned his action costing Stark Industries millions. At the same time, Peter felt like the man didn't care about the money but rather about his image, and the flippancy with which the man talked about losing money sparks Peter's anger anew.

It's already dark outside by the time the teenager closes the shop. With his hoodie deep in his face and his head ducked, he quickly walks down the street. May won't be back until tomorrow morning, and if he hurried, he might manage to patrol for two hours before going to bed.

On his way through the city, he walks past a construction site. He halts, and his eyes wander along the scaffold that takes up the whole facade.

"A truck hit the front at full speed a few weeks ago."

Peter turns away from the destroyed building. A man leans against one of the street lights. He has his, several times patched coat tightly wrapped around his body, a bottle sitting comfortably in his hand. He tosses his head, taking a hearty sip before pointing at the building.

"One of the best shelters in the whole of New York. Never mind how busy you got treated like you meant something. They even let your furred friend in there if you had one. Now, we can only hope they rebuild it. To our luck, they put another cafe here."

"I heard about the incident," manages Peter to get out, voice hoarse.

"You're okay, boy?"

The homeless man squints his eyes at him, and something in Peter's stomach coils as the guilty conscience hits full force at the thought of a man without a roof over his head worrying about a random teenager.

A man who didn't have a roof over his head because Spider-Man hadn't been here.

"Yes, I mean, not really," stammers Peter before taking a deep breath, attempting to collect himself. The man eyes him with worry, partly curiosity, and takes another sip while waiting for the teen to finish his sentence.

"It's just that I knew someone. Someone who came here often."

Peter feels ashamed when he catches the man's eyes widening with realization. The man shortened the distance between them, stepping closer, and despite the strong sense of alcohol prickling in his nose, he knew he wasn't in any danger. A heavy hand lays on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that, boy."

It's embarrassing how his eyes start burning. Peter had to look away from the empathy-filled, bearded face.

"I don't know who you knew from the bunch, but I know many people hanging around here, and most are decent. I'm sure whoever it was, he would appreciate a fine young man like you to remember him. Many people in this city don't recognize us as humans, but you are alright, boy."

The hand on his shoulder gives another tight but comforting squeeze while Peter uses the back of his hand to wipe over his eyes. He manages to whisper a small thank you.

The man didn't look happy with a crying teenager in front of him.

"You want some?"

Peter eyes the bottle with a high percentage of alcohol before his eyes fall back onto the worried eyes of the man. A small smile blooms on his face, and he has to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. He sniffles and wipes at his other eye.

"No, thank you. But there's something else."

The man pulls the bottle back with a grin.

"I'm listening, boy. Spit it out."

Peter manages to give him a grateful smile.

"Would you tell me your name?"

The homeless man raises an eyebrow in disbelief before grinning.

"The name's Jason."

Jason holds out his hand. Without batting a lid, Peter takes the hand, including the filthy fingerless glove, shaking it tightly.

"I'm Peter."

[decks-writing-blog]

I Think I'm Sick Chapter 2/2 Our Best Option

Chapter One

~

Back in the game room the TV was still on. The commercials were at least over, not that the cartoon playing instead held much more interest. But Benrey was too in and out of sleep to play much more than the simplest game and the PS3 controllers needed charging anyway so cartoons it was for a little while.

Instead of lying back down with the heated blanket as he’d been before, he sat with Gordon. At first just leaning into him but that wasn’t enough and he shifted to sit in his lap instead, slouched enough that his head rested against Gordon’s chest. The sound of his breath and heartbeat was soothing. Not that Benrey needed help drifting off again. He was just so tired all the time. It wasn’t fair. Sleep was nice sometimes but it was boring to do so much. And if he was going to die for good soon, he didn’t want to spend most of his limited time sleeping.

Before he could finish drifting off even despite his annoyance with doing so, his phone chimed in his pocket. With great effort, he forced open his eyes and reached to pull it out. It felt almost like he was moving through deep water, making it more difficult than it needed to be but he managed.

It was worth it too because the text was from Bubby. ‘I know what’s wrong with you. Maybe. I have a theory. We’re coming over.’ Not an opening to a fun conversation as Benrey had hoped but maybe something better.

“Who is it?” Gordon asked.

His head too foggy to try to summarize, Benrey held up the phone where Gordon could read it.

“Oh, already? I guess that’s not too surprising coming from him. You wanna head out to the living room to meet them or you wanna stay here and wait?”

“Wait.” They had keys and thus could let themselves in. Just sitting and waiting sucked but he didn’t want to get up yet, he was comfy.

~

With how close everyone lived, the wait was only a few minutes. Long enough that Benrey fell asleep again despite his best efforts not to but not deep enough to not be roused by Coomer’s, “Hello Gordon!”

“Yes, hello Dr. Coomer and Bubby and Tommy.” Gordon spoke not much louder than a whisper. “Benrey’s asleep so…”

“Wake him up then,” Bubby interrupted. “I gotta ask him something.”

Before Gordon could try to argue, Benrey shifted and sat up a little more, forcing open his eyes as he did so. He could get off Gordon’s lap too but didn’t particularly care to. “I’m awake.”

Bubby had stepped up to stand directly in front of them, Coomer and Tommy a bit too his side. The TV was still on behind him but Gordon picked up the remote off the couch’s armrest and muted it.

“Good,” Bubby said with a slight nod. “On the phone, Gordon said something about you saying all your powers are fucked up. Is that true?”

Damn. Turns out Benrey had to talk about it anyway. “I think so. Um, I can’t phase through stuff and my sweet voice isn’t very sweet anymore and uh… other stuff. Nothing works like its supposed to. So yeah, probably all my powers are fucked.”

“You can’t heal either?” Tommy asked. “Like if you get cut or shot or something.”

“Uh… dunno. We could test it.”

“Let’s not,” Gordon interrupted before Benrey could ask if anyone had a knife to test it with. “If you can’t heal from whatever’s making you sick, it’s probably safe to assume you can’t heal from physical injuries either.” A good point.

“And on top of all that you’re extremely low on energy, right? You’ve been sleeping more and more every day for like the past week.” Bubby’s tone was the one he used when he was being smart, implying he was onto something with whatever his theory was. What it could possibly be was a mystery. Benrey was sick, they already knew that. All that Bubby had learned was that it was also affecting his powers.

“Yeah. It sucks. I’m tired of sleeping but uh… too tired not to.” Exhaustion dragged at him like a lead weight trying to pull him underwater.

“Ah,” Coomer said apparently getting whatever Bubby had figured out. “It’s not dissimilar to when my power cells run out; I get tired and none of my implants work the way they’re supposed to. So I believe I know what you’re getting at, Bubby. I’ll let you say it of course since you did figure it out first.”

“You’re sick because you’ve been away from Xen stuff too long.”

“What that does that…” Gordon started before trailing off as something seemed to click with him too. “I guess that is possible, huh? How did I not think of that before?”

“You were uh… probably being too anxious to think clearly,” Tommy answered. “I know I can’t think straight when I’m uh… anxious about stuff too. Being worried make its hard to figure things out.”

“I don’t get it.” Maybe if Benrey weren’t so tired and distracted by the deep ache of something being wrong with his entire form, he could figure out why exactly not having been to Xen in so long was making him like this. He’d only been there once.

“You’re literally made from Xen stuff,” Gordon explained. “And you spent your whole life in a lab with multiple portals to Xen and people going through them all the time. Then when you actually went there yourself, you got a big boost in power or whatever that was.”

“Something in the air there is what fuels you,” Coomer cut in. “You’re like a battery and can store it but you’re running out now. Hence your current state.”

“Huh? I’m a battery.” Benrey had never thought of it like that but it made sense. He could store power in things which implied he stored power in himself. “That’s kinda cool.”

“Probably you’ll die if this continues for much longer,” Bubby said. “So we need to figure out a way to open a portal to Xen sooner rather than later. Anyone got any ideas?”

The silence held, heavy and uncomfortable, for several seconds before Gordon broke it. “The uh… the thing. The way we got there before. It’s dismantled currently so the construction workers rebuilding the broken parts of the old facility won’t see it. But it was never broken and we got all the parts in boxes at the temporary lab with all the other sensitive stuff.”

“It’s big though. Where you gonna build it?” Benrey had been to the temporary lab a few times now. It was far too small for a machine that size.

“Uh… well the only place we’ll be allowed to put it back up is the old facility. And that’s probably also the safest place for it to keep it from people and in case something comes out of it. The old facility’s not done being fixed yet but… I could maybe convince Breen to okay putting it back up anyway. It’d be hard though with the construction workers there.”

“Regardless of where we do it, rebuilding it is going to take weeks at a minimum,” Coomer said. “Probably more like months. It took weeks to pull down after all, putting it back up will take at least as long if we’re being optimistic. Do we have weeks or months?” He addressed this to Benrey.

“I uh… dunno. I started feeling bad a few weeks ago but it started affecting my powers or whatever like a week ago so… it got bad kinda fast. It gets worse every day like um… noticeably.” Heck, it felt worse now than when he’d woken up. It hurt more but even with that, he could easily fall back asleep right now if he let himself. How much longer before he couldn’t even hold his shape anymore? Then from there how much longer before he fell asleep and never woke up?

“Yeah,” Gordon said. “He uh… deteriorated rather quickly. I’m pretty sure he spent more time asleep today than awake. So even just a couple more weeks would be… a rough wait.”

Benrey was going to die, wasn’t he? Not just a maybe he’d realized a little while ago after hearing Gordon voice the possibility, but almost for sure. He didn’t want to die for good in general but especially not like this; wasting away, asleep for more of his dwindling life than not.

Gordon was likely having the same, if not similar, thought process as his grip on Benrey tightened. Pulling him closer as he curled slightly around him. “There’s… there’s gotta be something we can do, right? Maybe make a small one somehow? I mean we can’t just…” He trailed off.

Tommy raised a hand as he stepped forward. “I can… I can open a portal to Xen.”

Oh! How could Benrey have forgotten about his buddy, Tommy? Granted he hadn’t known Tommy could open a portal to Xen but it made sense that he could because he was Tommy. Everything would be fine… hopefully.

Gordon relaxed too, letting out a relieved almost chuckle. “Oh of course. I forgot your dad is some kind of… whatever he is.” He shifted his hold on Benrey, getting ready to stand up with him. “That’s great though. Awesome. Do it now. The sooner, the better, right?”

“Um… I should mention that it’s uh… kinda dangerous. I’m not as skilled as my dad is at that kind of stuff. Particularity the being sneaky part. There are things out there that could uh… they could notice me opening the portal and um… that would be bad. Like real, real bad.”

“End of the world kind of bad?” Bubby asked.

“Yes.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. We should maybe ask Dad instead.”

“How likely is he to say ‘yes’?” Gordon asked. According to what Benrey had heard of the guy, it was unlikely.

“He… he might. But if he does he wouldn’t do it for nothing, even for me. He rarely does things to be nice because he’s not nice. Another option though is I could put Benrey in stasis while we work on building the thing. Human made portals to Xen are also a risk but much lower. The uh… problem with that one is I’m not… I’m not sure that he wouldn’t continue to drain power even in stasis. Dad’s time freeze didn’t work on him so… I don’t know if his current state would change that or not. And uh, I’m also not as good at that as he is too. He has a lot more experience with this kind of stuff than me.

“You’re a baby time god,” Benrey said.

“Um… ‘god’ isn’t the right word. You need worshipers to be a god, I think. Compared to Dad, ‘baby’ probably is a good word though. I’m only thirty-eight and he’s like… I don’t, several hundred years at least. I’ll try a portal or stasis for you though. I just wanted to go over all our options because it’s important to weigh the risks.”

Benrey wasn’t surprised. Of course Tommy would employ his powers for him even with the risks, they were pals after all. But it still felt nice to hear him say it.

“So,” Coomer said as he lifted a hand to count on his fingers, “our options are ask Tommy’s Dad and ensure safe passage to and from Xen but we owe him a favor. Tommy opens a portal to Xen and we risk the end of the world. Or Tommy puts Benrey in stasis and we build a portal ourselves but we risk the stasis not being as complete as we hope.”

“No particularly good options,” Bubby said with a frown as he crossed his arms. “What do you think, Benrey? It’s your life at stake.”

“Uh… I don’t wanna go in stasis.” Based off of what Benrey knew of how such things were portrayed in science fiction, stasis was too close to death to be a comfortable idea. And he’d just developed a fear of death less than an hour ago. It was way too soon to confront it. He’d like his powers back so that fear could go away already.

“No stasis then,” Gordon said with a comforting finality. “How bad would owing your dad a favor be, Tommy?”

“I don’t know. He doesn’t talk to me much about the people who owe him stuff. I just know he has people who do.”

Apparently having reached a decision, Gordon stood, bringing Benrey with him. Unfortunately he didn’t keep holding but instead, carefully put him back on the couch. At the end of it so he could face everyone but he still would’ve preferred Gordon keep holding him. But whatever, it was a bit awkward to have a group conversation while cuddling anyway.

Straightening, Gordon stepped back to address the group. “I’ll do it. It’s our best option. Benrey doesn’t want to go into stasis and if you opening it risks getting noticed by potentially world ending entities, we probably shouldn’t if we don’t have to. So… owing Tommy’s dad a favor it is. I can handle that.”

Despite all the unknowns of it, he was volunteering. No hesitation either. And it was for Benrey.

“We’ll do it, dumbass,” Bubby said. “Or did you forget he has more people who care about him than just you?”

“The Science Team can stand up to anything Mr. Coolatta tasks us with,” Coomer added. “You’ll be right as rain in no time, Benrey.”

Tommy perked up. “Yeah, don’t fuck with the Science Team. We can handle anything even… even my dad. I’ll go talk to him then. Be right back.” He turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Benrey should say something, shouldn’t he? What though? He was so tired and the whiplash of learning to fear permanent death to all of them proudly stating they’d be willing to be indebted to a time god for him was a lot. More than he know how to deal with. It made his eyes water. Which made no sense. Crying was supposed to be for bad emotions, this wasn’t. He didn’t know what it was exactly but it certainly wasn’t bad. Being so sick was putting him in weird emotional head space.

Gordon turned to him, opening his mouth as if he say something but whatever it was died unspoken. Instead he stepped closer, leaning in for a whisper. “You okay? Or I guess… dumb question but uh…”

“I’m uh… okay as I can be. Thanks for… just thanks.” The second part he said loud enough for Bubby and Coomer to hear too. He’d thank Tommy too later. “Now uh… come back. I wanna cuddle. And I’m sick and dying so you gotta do as I say.”

“Yeah, sure.” Gordon chuckled softly as he picked Benrey back up so he could turn and sit back on the couch with Benrey on his lap again. He kissed Benrey on the forehead as he settled against his chest again.

“You two and your damn PDA,” Bubby complained even as he sat next to them.

“This isn’t public,” Coomer corrected, sitting on his other side. “And even if it was, they get a special pass because Benrey’s is indeed sick and dying.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m just annoyed about having to wait for Tommy’s dad.”

Having to do more waiting to find out what was going to happen next did suck. But Benrey’s last nap had been interrupted by everyone’s arrival. He’d feel a bit better if he returned to it. “Wake me when uh… Tommy’s gets back, kay? So I know… what’s gonna happen and stuff.” What they were going to do if Tommy’s dad declined to help or if what he wanted in exchange was something they couldn’t give, they’d figure out when they got there.

“Okay.” Gordon gave him another kiss on the forehead as he drifted off.

~

It wasn’t Gordon or any of the others that woke Benrey though but instead something he couldn’t possibly name. Whatever it was made Gordon flinch.

With effort, Benrey opened his eyes and sat up to see Tommy’s dad standing in front of the couch now. Tommy stood slightly behind and to his side. The TV was on but frozen. Tommy’s dad was doing his weird time stop powers again. Whether he was trying to freeze Benrey too or was letting him go this time was unclear. It did feel different than before though or maybe that was Benrey’s imagination.

“Does this mean you’re going to help us?” Coomer asked as he and Bubby stood from the couch.

Mr. Coolatta let out a heavy sigh. “Yes, I suppose it does. Having you… four, I suppose, since you’ve seemingly tamed the beast, in my debt isn’t something to scoff at after all.”

“He’s not a beast and we didn’t tame him,” Gordon said as he pulled Benrey closer. Standing up for him like that wasn’t necessary, Benrey didn’t care about being referred to as a beast, but it was nice that he’d done so anyway. He cared enough about Benrey as a person to talk back to a time god.

“If you say so, Dr. Freeman. Now let’s…”

Bubby interrupted. “And what the fuck are you gonna have us do for you in return?”

“I haven’t decided yet. I’ll get back to you on that when I call in the favor. Now, as I was saying, let’s get to fixing this little… problem, shall we?”

The world shifted around their group. Benrey was suddenly standing next to Gordon instead of curled up in his lap. Rude, he’d been enjoying cuddling. They were in a blank void but only for a moment as everything shifted again and the sky was suddenly a familiar purple and blue. The ground beneath Benrey’s bare feet felt felt soft and spongy.

Instantly he felt better. One breath was all it took for him to go from barely awake to feeling normal. The next had him energized. From there it grew more and more until he his whole form was tingling with it. It was too small and restrictive to hold all of it. He held it in though, savoring it.

“You feel better?” Gordon asked as they all turned to look at him, even Mr. Coolatta.

Yes! He felt so much better in fact that words didn’t feel like they could possibly convey it. Instead, he laughed as he turned and sprinted off the edge of the floating island they’d landed on.

He let himself fall, the boundless sky blurring all around him as he plummeted past floating rocks and there was even what looked like another small island. The rush of air was exhilarating as it made his baggy clothing flap around him like a flag in the wind. Taking a deep breath, he let out a string of sweet voice, all the colours, adding to the swirl of visuals around him.

The first time he was here, he’d discovered Xen gave him new powers as well as improved all his other ones. Namely he could make his clothes change shape with him and he could fly, sort of, standing on air didn’t really count but it was close. It allowed him to freely expand his form, slowly at first but then rather quickly until his was big enough that all the power flowing through him didn’t feel like it was about to make him explode anymore. He then reluctantly slowed and stopped his fall before righting himself to a standing position.

Stepping up was a bit of a pain but he had big legs now so he could go quite far up with just one big step up. And thus in only a matter of seconds he was on level with the floating island he’d started from. Gordon had gone to the edge of it to look down. Reaching to touch him, maybe even pick him up, was tempting but… humans were fragile. It’d be way to easy to accidentally hurt him. Instead Benrey settled for just coming in close, staying low so he wasn’t towering over everyone too much. A little bit of towering was cool though, right?

“Asshole,” Bubby said. “You almost gave Gordon a heart attack. Fucking idiot, running off a cliff.”

Oops. Benrey hadn’t thought about how it would’ve looked to them, especially given how long he’d let himself fall for. “Sorry.”

Gordon pulled back from the edge – good, him being that close probably wasn’t wise lest the edge decide to crumble away – and sat down so he could lean back on his hand and look up at Benrey. “It’s… okay. I take it that uh… you feel better?”

“Yeah. I feel great.” Being in Xen came with a odd feeling as if he and the air around him were constantly vibrating slightly. It hadn’t been pleasant last time in how quickly it had grown to be too much. But after so long being endlessly exhausted and hurting, how energizing it was, was amazing.

“Congratulations on not dying, Benrey!” Coomer said.

“We’ll have to make coming here a regular thing now, right?” Tommy said. “Probably we wanna… you know, build a teleporter for next time because my dad might not want to do this again. We have time though.”

“About a year,” Coomer cut in. “Based off how long it took Benrey to power down this time. My batteries last about a year too.”

“Are you done yet?”

Benrey looked up to see Mr. Coolatta still standing exactly where he’d come in at, his hands folded behind his back. “Or would you like to… ‘hang out’ as the kids say?” he continued.

“Hang out a bit.” Benrey was still enjoying the feeling for now. “To make sure that uh… I don’t feel like that again anytime soon.” Spending more time here might mean he retained more energy upon returning.

“I’ll be back in two hours. Be ready to go by then.” Mr. Coolatta vanished.

“Guess were here for two hours then,” Gordon said. “As long as Benrey’s okay that’s fine. Even if this place is uh…” He trailed off. His face was too small to get a good look at but he sounded like he was grimacing.

Right, yeah. Last time he’d been here, he’d been scared of Benrey and scared and stressed in general. A lot had changed between them and Benrey had learned more about how far was too far. But that wouldn’t necessarily make this a comfortable place for him.

Benrey shrunk himself. Not a lot, only so that he wasn’t towering quite so much. He leaned it, resting one arm on the floating island and laying his head down on top of it so that he was looking mostly at Gordon but the rest of them too. His other hand he moved towards Gordon.

“Can I uh… can I…” How did he ask? Should he even? He wanted to touch and hold and make it better but he was so much bigger now. That made him scary, right? Was Gordon scared of him?

Gordon stared at him in silence for a few seconds, visibly tense before relaxing with a sigh. “Sure. Go for it.” He didn’t even know exactly what Benrey was asking. Having so much trust was… scary. Benrey didn’t deserve it. Things were different now but he’d still hurt Gordon once upon a time. He knew better now and Gordon had hurt him back, ultimately winning their fight, but… still.

Questioning good things wouldn’t do much though so he moved his hand closer. Gordon probably would’ve been about as tall as the tip of his pinky to the base of his palm if he were were standing up, maybe a bit shorter. He was sitting though and thus Benrey’s hand engulfed him rather well as he cupped it around him. He was tense but didn’t struggle so before Benrey could chicken out and careful not to grab, he scooped Gordon up into it.

“Okay,” Gordon said as he wrapped his arms around Benrey’s finger. “This is fine.”

Benrey pulled him closer to his face, careful not to jostle him too much. It was tempting to straighten and bring him up too but he wasn’t going to do that yet. Maybe in a bit when he was more sure he could do so gently. “You’re so little.”

Gordon’s face was harder to read when he was so small but that earned a small smile. “Nah, you just got big, dude. Which is pretty cool actually.”

“You’re not scared?”

He thought about it for a few seconds before replying. “No, I don’t think I am actually. When you ran off the edge I was but… that’s not what you’re asking about. Things were different last time we were here. But we’re cool now.”

“More than cool.” Things were great, especially now that Benrey wasn’t dying anymore.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great actually. I’m glad you’re okay. But since we’re here anyway and you’re already holding me, um… maybe lift me a bit higher so I can see more stuff.”

As gently and carefully as he could, Benrey obeyed. Straightening, he lifted Gordon as smoothly as he could before raising him a bit higher to give him a good view of the alien landscape surrounding them.

“Wow uh… this sure is something.” He sounded nervous.

“I won’t drop you.”

“I know.” More of that trust, voiced now. Still not entirely deserved but that was okay. He’d somehow earned Gordon’s trust anyway and he wasn’t going to squander it.

“There are so many inappropriate jokes I could make about this,” Bubby said. “But I won’t because I’m a good guy like that.”

Benrey looked down at him. “Want me to pick you up too?”

Tommy raised his hand. “Ooh, ooh, pick me up!”

Coomer raised his hand next. “Me too!”

Finally Bubby had time to reply. “Eh, I guess if everyone else is doing it, sure. Just make sure you don’t drop me over the edge.”

Taking inspiration from Gordon’s extra robot arm, Benrey grew two more arms out of his shoulders so he could pick all three of them up. One in each hand and one at a time, careful as he possibly could be. They weren’t as fragile as Gordon but still, they were so small they felt fragile.

Once he had all of them in his hands, he pulled them close to his body where they felt steadier. “Let’s go for a little walk then, huh? This place’s got lots of cool stuff too look at that we didn’t get to explore last time.”

A fun little adventure with his friends in Xen certainly beat sleeping on and off until he died for good. He probably wasn’t ever going to forget the fear he’d gained of permanent death though. It was too upsetting of an idea. … It was also a fear Gordon still faced though, had never not faced. Maybe Benrey would try to see if he couldn’t do something about it.

~

[A/N] The request I was talking about at the top of this fic was for them going to Xen. Which I already had this idea for so it fit perfectly. I held off on doing the idea for a bit since it's further in the future than anything else which probably contributed at least a little bit to how long it ended up being; I had a lot of time to build the idea.

[saccharine-dean]

I've been having ATSV brainrot (particularly Gwen-centric) as of late so hear me out: Spider-Man x SPN

16-year old, junior-in-high-school sam winchester as spider-man.

his mother died when he was a baby, and his father only very recently. he lives alone with dean, who got custody of him after their father's death. even though this only happened a couple years ago, really, dean has been raising sam all their lives.

sam likes home fine enough. dean isn't too bad as a parent for a 20-year old- he has a job at the local garage, makes sure sam is fed, and for the most part he doesn't act like dad.

it's just that he can be a bit overprotective. sam gets it, but it's frustrating.. and it's the reason he refuses to tell dean about his secret identity. but it's okay- dean, for his part, is ironically a pretty big fan of spider-man. sam knows he tries to hide it, but it's obvious- dean thinks the mystery vigilante in their city is cool.

that is, until one day:

sam is way, way in over his head with this one. unaware of the existence of the multiverse (though he has theories) and being the only superhero in his town, he has nobody to call for backup. the villain nearly lands a fatal blow on him way too many times for comfort, and he's losing stamina fast. a crowd of people has gathered to watch, all cheering him on from the sidelines.

enter castiel: dean's boyfriend of 2 years, a really stand up guy. he's a little awkward and sometimes he can be just as protective as dean is, but for what it's worth, sam loves him like a brother. it's just... he's also approaching the street where the fight is taking place. blissfully unaware, he holds a bouquet of flowers in his hands, walking the last couple blocks to surprise dean at work.

it all happens so fast: one minute sam is dodging another shot from the villain, the next the projectile is ricocheting off of a metal awning, and BAM- it hits castiel in the chest, and time seems to freeze.

sam screams.

he doesn't notice much of anybody else after that- the villain retreats once sam is crumpled on the ground next to castiel, or at least he thinks so. sirens blare all around him, ten times louder than they were before, and sam can't help himself from putting his head to castiel's chest and sobbing.

and then he hears the one voice he dreads the most at this moment:

"Cas?"

sam looks up, deer in the headlights, and sees his brother in what may very well be the worst shock of his life.

"No. No, Cas, no-"

dean shoves him out of the way and lifts castiel up in his arms, and as he's frantically swearing and checking for a pulse, sam does the only thing he can think of to do, and he disappears.

even though dean comes home past 3:00 that night, sam is still up, sobbing into his pillow. assuming he heard the news from the TV, dean wraps him in a fierce hug and mumbles comfort into his shoulder through his own tears, promising to sam that he'll catch the son of a bitch who let castiel die.

it's been maybe four months since then, and sam doesn't know how much more he can take of this.

dean's animosity towards spider-man is now one of the most transparent things about him. sam knows he shouldn't take it to heart, shouldn't believe that dean would think these things about him if he knew, but hell if he isn't tired of being called a monster, a coward, a freak.

there's another large scale fight downtown that nearly goes awry, but there's these new people that appeared from some kind of portal and for once he has *help,* some actual allies to save the day with him, and suddenly he feels much lighter, much easier. sam manages to save them at the last minute, and as he's standing there catching his breath he hears his brother's voice break the cold air:

"Found you, you eight-eyed bastard."

sam had been telling dean as himself for weeks not to stake out every crime scene in new york, that he could get himself hurt or worse, and every time dean gave the same answer- "so?"

and so now, standing there shaking from the adrenaline and the wind and the blood, it's not that sam is surprised necessarily- it's just... god, he is so, so, tired.

"Please," Sam begs him when he turns and sees the gun pointed at his head. "I- Whatever you think I did-"

"You're the reason the love of my life is dead," Dean hisses, and even after all this time, it still makes Sam freeze. "How about that, you son of a bitch?"

"It wasn't me!" Sam shouts, and his voice breaks at the inclination. "It was a mistake. I didn't... I didn't kill Castiel."

Dean freezes.

"What did you just say?"

and so four months after castiel's death, eighteen months after he became spider-man, sam finally does it- he reaches up and pulls off his mask.

it's done.

"Sam?"

dean's voice is broken beyond repair, and sam is sure he looks the same way.

"I didn't do it," he whispers.

but dean doesn't respond. he just stands, gun still raised and shaking between his fingers as he stares at sam with the look of utmost betrayal.

sam feels a phantom tap on his shoulder, looks up and sees the woman from earlier. he thinks he heard the older man call her missouri?

she raises an eyebrow and nods to the newly opened portal, and sam's eyes widen as he realizes she wants him to go with them.

he spares a glance back at dean, who immediately notices his thought process and makes to run at them, but the woman stops him in his tracks with some kind of trap. dean is screaming sam's name and banging against the barrier, yelling that he better not leave, or... well, who knows. sam doesn't hear it. all his focus is oriented on the glowing web of orange and red and green in front of him, offering a new beginning, a better life.

castiel once told him that growing up is hard- you're thrust into the world without any knowledge of who you are or what you're supposed to be, and that feeling of being utterly lost can be challenging, but not to worry- everybody finds their place eventually. deep down in the gaps between the turmoil pooling in his gut, sam thinks that maybe, just maybe, this might be it.

he turns his back to dean and jumps.

[localicecreambiter]

Chapter 2 is finally ouuutt and it only took like... a montth

ignore that :P

heres the Ao3 link, but I'll post the chapter text below this time too

Legend was not having a great day… then again, when did he ever?

New quest from the Goddess was going just great. Absolutely fantastic. Because apparently 6 adventures wasn’t enough as it stood. No, the goddesses seemingly were not satisfied with that, so a 7th was sent his way. Perks of being the favorite I guess, he thought with a tired bitterness. He stopped tracking the time they’d spent on the road after the first two weeks. It wasn’t worth the upkeep with everything going on, so why bother? Clearly Hylia’s business (it was easiest to blame her) wouldn’t be resolved any time soon, so there was no point in torturing himself by timing how long it took to get back home.

They’d gone through dozens of worlds, multiple Hyrules: some places unknown to any of them, some they call home. To say Legend had anticipated another world hopping adventure so soon would be lying, but who would know? Hylia knows not anyone else in the Chain. He could lie his ass off about virtually anything, and they’d believe it without a second thought. The few graces of being the group veteran. …not that he intended to do that. No, he liked the group too much to be that much of an ass to them.

Ah yes, the group. The Chain. His brothers in arms. His annoying compatriots that enjoyed loud mornings and exaggerated stories around the fire at night (also very loud). They were a rowdy group, sure, but Legend found he didn’t mind it all that much as the days went on. Wild may set things on fire more often than not; Twilight smelled of wet dog and talked too much about goats; Wind couldn’t keep his mouth shut, bombarding the group with questions about the most mundane things (seriously! He knew the kid was from the middle of the ocean but Legend refused to believe their resident sailor didn’t know what a pinecone was). Warriors had an ego the size of Death Mountain (great battle strategist all things considered); he admittedly knew little about Four, seemingly the most level headed of their group, but they got along together just fine. Hyrule was… well, Legend quite liked the traveler (though he’d hardly ever admit it). Time liked to keep to himself, only fueling the chaos on a few occasions, looking out for each and every one of them no matter the situation. Despite his qualms and complaints, the past however long they had spent traveling together weaved a tight knit trust and deep seeded care within the group. Not even Legend could escape from that, not that he really wanted to anyway. It was nice having someone to watch your back from time to time.

Now, back to his griping, “Ugghh! We’ve been on this stupid trail for hours! How have we not found a town yet?” The ground squelched beneath bootfalls, still puddled with rainfall from the night before and the muggy air did little to raise his spirits. It left his hair frizzed and hands sticky with moisture no matter how many times he wiped his palms on his tunic. Over the years, a lot of things had made their way onto the Things That Really Annoy the Hell Out of Legend list: humid weather made the top 20. They might as well be swimming at that point, really.

“Oh, chill out Legend. A little humidity never killed anyone,” The captain was quick to quip back, but there was no mistaking the underlying agitation in the ways Warriors fidgeted with his cape and gloves. “Your hair will be fine.” Legend snapped his hand away from his head, leaving tousled locks tangled in order to prove a point.

The vet smirked, arms crossed across his chest, “Projecting your worries onto me won’t make ‘em go away Miss Prissy Pants.” He had the pleasure of witnessing the older hero whirl around indignantly, mouth open in preparation to fire another shot.

“Enough from both of you.” Great, so it wasn’t just him growing more irritated with the humidity. Time shot the pair a warning glance, signaling there was to be no fun or joy had on their trek. Whatever, he still claimed the victory in stride, a smug grin blooming once the eldest turned away. With everyone being so tense — frankly more agitated than Legend was on a mediocre day — their impromptu hike lapsed into an awkward silence. The low rumble of storms rolling on the horizon and the abundance of cricket chatter was the best he was going to get as a distraction. So yeah. The quest was going great.

“Whose Hyrule do you think we’re in?” Legend’s ears pricked to attention, mumbled conversations behind him (usually gone ignored) peeking his interest. The two shortest — and if he had to guess, youngest — of the Chain trailed in the back, Epona clopping at their side. Wind’s hair puffed out more than usual, lower pant legs caked in mud and what Legend hoped was very pigmented clay. The kid seemed perfectly content in the weather, the son of a dodongo. Four kept running a hand through tangled locks, cringing at the way his fingers harshly caught on the knots.

“Traveler’s. Too barren to be anywhere else,” yet despite the gross weather, the smithy always held that level headedness to him. If Legend were to admit it — and he himself knew he wouldn’t — he was a bit jealous. The hero could probably watch someone keel over dead and it wouldn’t outwardly affect him. Or maybe Four was just better at compartmentalizing things for later. Either way, the kid knew how to hold himself together.

“Didn’t he say the air was toxic or something?” Legend didn’t even need to look to know the expression Wind was wearing. Left brow raised, eyes squinted slightly, pouty frown tugging his lips downward, and skeptical glint in his eye. A kid far too expressive and open for the uncaring world he was thrown into, a sinking familiarity always followed that thought. He’d been like that too when he first started, after all. Just some bright eyed kid who got thrown in the midst of something bigger than himself, paying the price for an evil he had not committed.

“No, Sailor. That was the water.” It was around then that the veteran slowed his pace slightly to walk next to Wind, expression light and curious. He had no input yet, but the message was clear: I want to be included in the conversation. It wasn’t often that Legend sought out a connection like that, letting it come to him rather. No matter how strange it felt to initiate, the others clearly didn’t mind it. He may be prickly, but he could be good company in his humble opinion.

“What?!” The two other heroes grimaced at Wind’s sudden volume, Legend skillfully suppressing a grin when a hand slapped over the kid’s mouth. “Oops. I mean… What?! Poison water??”

“No, toxic water. If it was just poison, it wouldn’t hurt you unless you drank it.”

Legend cocked a brow, deciding, “Same difference,” was a good contribution to the conversation.

Four scowled, lower lip sticking out just a tad too far. If he looked any more upset, the veteran would think he’s pouting. “No, it’s not. The difference in meaning is crucial when relaying dangerous informa-”

“How are you supposed to go sailing on that? At least back at home it’s just poison water.” Wind stared up at the pair innocently, eyes wide with questions crackling in his ocean hued gaze. Neither decided to question what the second half was supposed to mean, already having contemplated the logistics of a “great flood” before. Poison water wasn’t that far fetched when it came to the sailor’s Hyrule.

Legend snorted, “You aren’t, dimwit.”

“With a raft?” The new voice startled the trio, all three heads whipping to gawk at Hyrule. If he thought the sailor was sneaky, leave it to their traveler to catch them with their pants down (another reason he never wore pants. Never have them on, and you never get caught with them down). “…What?”

“You’ve actually sailed??”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call it sailing. More just floating around on the lake until I can get to where I need to go.” Legend narrowed his eyes, gauging how Hyrule was affected by the weather while the other three chatted. He, like the sailor, seemed to have no qualms with how astoundingly horrendous it was. It irked him more than it probably should have. In the veteran’s time, it never got this nasty unless he was close to a swamp. The fact things got so fucked after he passed… It wasn’t his fault, that was for damn sure. Not very much you can do about darkness overtaking the land when you’re dead.

“It’s gonna storm soon,” the subject change ripped him from his thoughts, eyes landing on Wind. The kid was looking off at the darkening horizon, watching the clouds churn into a tempest that hopefully they would never have to brave. “I’d say in ‘round 5 flips of a sandglass.”

The group blinked owlishly, Four being the first one to put things together.

“…So 2 and a half hours?”

“Yup, sounds just about right.”

“You know, you can talk like a normal person, right?”

Wind cracked a grin, “Where I come from, that is how normal people talk.”

Legend let the conversation fade into the background, eyeing the stormy horizon just as the sailor had. With how their journey was going so far, a storm was the last thing they needed. Sure, it’d probably clear away the sticky air, but running around in the rain wasn’t something he really wanted to do at the moment. His boots were muddy enough as it was. Just as he thought to mention Wind’s storm theory, there was a buzz in the air. Magic. It was familiar — a far away familiar, but familiar nonetheless.

He stopped walking for a moment, violet eyes narrowing at the muggy surroundings. The treeline was silent, the rolling fields of dying yellow crops whipped violently in the breeze, the sky rumbled, but there was no sign of a source. The veteran’s brows furrowed further, face screwing up in suspicion that something was amiss. He knew that feeling, and he knew that he did. Something that reminded him of home in the most warped way possible, feeling almost wrong yet right all at the same time. It was confusing, eluding his conscious efforts to pinpoint just where he had felt that before.

Footsteps died out, Legend having yet to notice the rest of the Chain slowing to a stop. The burning gazes of 8 other pairs of eyes falling on one person should have alerted him, but being so caught up in that feeling… Where had he felt it before? Goddesses it was on the tip of his damn tongue. Think Legend…

A firm hand grasped his shoulder, sending a jolt through the veteran hero who instinctively reached for his sword. “Hey! Hey, easy there partner!” Legend blinked, eyes shooting up to stare down an admittedly alarmed Twilight. “You alright there? Hear a monster?” Looking past the furry blockade, everyone else was on high alert. It wasn’t like the vet to freeze up like that, not without warning.

“No. No monster from what I can tell. I’m fine I just…” His eyes landed on Wild, with his bow pulled taught and poised at the ready for an ambush, “remembered something, is all.” Technically, it was a half truth. He recognized something, yet struggled to remember where he recognized it from and what exactly it even was. It was an adequate enough answer, as the rancher backed off with a nod. Silence returned to their group, but Legend could hardly care less about that now. His mind was elsewhere. It was going to bother him for the rest of the day if he couldn’t figure out where-

A blood curdling yowl — seriously, a yowl — nearly blew out his eardrums as a particularly ugly moblin burst from the treeline with 3 more in tow.

“Why’s it making that face at me?!” Metal screeched as it clashed against steel, but there was no mistaking Four’s perturbed cry through the fray.

“Sorry about that,” came the sailor’s response, “It’s one of mine! They make some really stupid faces!” Legend had to duck and roll out of the way of an oversized shield nearly wacking into him. Two were focused on one, three on another, Time facing one alone, leaving the last to Sky, Wild, and himself.

“This one’s mine,” the Skyloftian announced to the group. “I’ll distract it so you two can get in a few backstrikes.” He hopped away, slashing for the brute’s shield while Legend crept up from the side. Drawing his tempered sword, dark blood soon seeped from the moblin’s back with no more than a few swipes and a couple arrow shots. The monster tried to turn, only to get sliced by Sky’s blade, regaining its attention. Lucky for them these things were stupider than dirt, not even able to take the defensive right. With a group of nine seasoned heroes, now more used to fighting together, it took less than 10 minutes to clear out the lot of them. With no further signs of another attack, they were free to check for injuries.

Hyrule got nicked in the side, nothing he couldn’t fix himself, Legend was sure. Twilight seemed to have taken an impromptu trip to the tailors with the new scratch marks in his undertunic. Warriors’ nose was bleeding, but other than that and a few scrapes he was fine. Everyone else got off with nothing more than a scratch or a bruise here or there. Good. That meant the veteran wouldn’t need to be dishing out any potions any time soon.

“Are we all accounted for?” Everyone turned their attention to Time, standing with a hand on his hip and the other on the hilt of his sword. He continued once he got confirmation, “If they attacked now, it probably means there’s more at a camp nearby. We’ll split up and look for it: Wind in one group and Wild in another. If one of us finds it we’ll alert the other via your.. Rock things.” The sailor beamed, ushering everyone to line up because it “was his turn to be team captain,” whatever that meant.

Ultimately, he was placed in Wind’s group with Warriors, and Time. They had more than enough manpower with the two war veterans, the sailor, and the actual vet. Wild had a map, and Wind was their best navigator, so getting back up would be easy as pie… if that pie was on fire with raw crust and half cooked filling. Yeah, splitting up in unfamiliar woods is never a good idea.

Especially when you’re trying to fight off an archer ambush and your navigator is being shot at.

“I’m gonna need a second- FUCK!!” An arrow shaft stuck haphazardly in the sailor’s arm, jostling with every move he made. “Shit! Oh, that’s gonna hurt-”

“Focus! Make sure Wild can find us. We’ll cover you!” Warriors, on cue, blocked another volley with Wind’s dropped mirror shield. If it weren’t such a high stress situation, Legend could’ve sworn the captain would say something stupid like “return to sender” or “eat shaft.” The thought made him smirk, distracting him long enough that their attackers managed to graze his leg.

“Oh, for the love of Zephos!” The vet didn’t have time to turn around and check on their youngest, reflecting back another volley himself in hopes to hit something. A flash of grey caught his eye, loud snarling following a blur of fur and monster parts. Back up had finally arrived.

“Took long enough!”

“Hey, blame Wind! Would’ve been here faster if he held onto his rock!” Long, unruly hair streamed behind a dirt covered, scared face. With a few THUNKS a handful of their assailants went down, yellow energy crackling out of the disintegrating bodies.

“You try and hold a stupid rock while being shot at!” The sailor grabbed Legend’s arm and yanked him to the side just in time for an arrow to narrowly miss piercing his nose, much to the veteran’s dismay. “I had that-”

“Sure you did!” Wind ducked out of the way of a sword slash, coming face to face with more moblins. “Think we found that monster camp yet?”

Legend really didn’t know how the kid could keep up the quips while avoiding getting smacked in the head, pulling his blade back out for round 2. Digging in his bag, he fished out a hookshot for some spontaneous strategizing. Latching it into a tree somewhere off in the fray, he took the opportunity to zip around and stun anything and everything. Battle was serious, sure, but having a little fun with it when you’re winning couldn’t hurt.

When the dust settled, all that was left was a single black lizalfos.

The black lizalfos.

Who made a break for it the second it realized it was outnumbered, like the damn coward it was.

Chasing did little for the group, as their path ended in a clearing with a large portal swirling before them. He caught Time making a mental check of everyone before pairing them up to go through: Twilight and Wild, Sky and Four, Hyrule and himself with Wind tagging along, leaving Time and Warriors to follow up at the back.

“Stick close together. So far these portals have spat us out in the same place, but we never know when that will change.”

“I just hope the weather is nicer wherever we end up,” Legend heard Warriors mutter, most likely jinxing the group with his stupid wishing. If the weather was anything but pleasant he was going to throttle the captain.

“Best get goin’. The storm be upon us soon,” Wind ever so gently (read: not at all gently) pushed Wild toward the swirling vortex. Everytime Legend saw one of the portals, he was reminded how little the light mattered as it was eaten away by the vast darkness before them. In some strange, twisted way, he found solace in that. If there were to be one constant, he’d rather it be the comfort of darkness than a blinding light… but maybe he was biased. After all, few of the best people came from the Darkness. A flash of purple rabbit ears and sharp red eyes pulled at his lips, threatening to spill his happy memories for all to see. But no, he grabbed at those images, shoving them back into their respective places and neatly filing them away in the crevices of his mind. Those were his and his alone to keep, for none to see and not to be shared. Not yet, at least. Not after what had been said. Not until apologies were made. Until then, the fleeting feeling of fond annoyance and steely, yet soft gazes hurt too much to remember.

“Hey, earth to Ledge! We’re about to go through!” Right, the portal. They were on a completely different quest. Now was not the time to be taking a trip down memory lane. With a deep breath, hands firmly held by the traveler and the sailor, he stepped into the void churning before him.

[lannaloveit]

Action and Reaction 🔥❤️

Part 2 ⬇️

The night ends with Hyunjin returning home thoughtful, Han taking an interest in Ágata and Y/N sleeping in the guest room of Cris's house, since she offered to help clean up the mess.

The girl wakes up to a message from Han: "Look, I don't know what happened last night, but I wanted to know if you're okay." She then replies with: "Good morning Hanji, I was fine, I just found it strange to see you "moving on", spending all this time with you made me think about our past." "I understand perfectly Y/Nnie, but I need to move on, I'm tired of running after you, it was making me feel bad, I'm happy for you and Hyunjin, he seems perfect for you," Han adds.

As the days went by, she really realized that every action has a reaction, that if she does something, something will react. Y/N liked Han but was in love with Hyunjin.

Or maybe not?

She felt confused.

Maybe she did see something in Hanji, he was so similar to her, so fun, funny and it seemed like they shared the same neurons.

She used to say that he was "my alarm clock" the one that makes her wake up every day, her "reason".

Hyunjin arrived so suddenly, it was good, energizing, but as the days went by that gave way.

"You seem sad" Cris said

"I'm not, just a little confused with myself, I feel like I lost Henri and I didn't want that." "Tell me what you want from him, do you want him? Or do you want to risk Hyunjin? I've known you since you were a child, Y/Nnie, and I know that in order for you to really like and want to be with someone, you have to know them for a long time. Do you know why you were sad about his kiss with Agata? Because you trust him, because you wanted him. Think again, maybe Hyunjin only showed up to show you who you really want, because the idea of being away from him scares you. - Cris She hugs Cris and cries "Hyunjin will think I'm an idiot." "No, you just have to talk to him, and if he does, that's his problem, you have to fix things with your best friend now." "Cris, you know that you're actually my best friend, right?" Cris kisses her head and smiles.

Hanji found himself thinking about the damned “truth or dare” kiss. He *wanted* to kiss the prettiest girl in his opinion. Y/N was the prettiest girl, but he simply kissed Ágata because she was the most desired among the boys and he was afraid of what Hyunjin would do. After all, this was before he knew that Ágata was dating a college student who picked her up every day on his motorcycle after school. He felt ridiculous for thinking that she would give him a chance. But what can we expect from a girl who shows up with a different boy every week?

°

Y/N spends recess with Han and he tells her about Ágata. Honestly, Y/N knew the girl’s nature and knew that she would be bad for anyone who got involved with her. Cris comes up to them and says:

“Y/N, baby, we need to talk.” He looks serious.

“What happened?”

“*Hyunjin,* it was all a bet.

“What?” Han answers.

“I was in the bathroom and I heard him talking to Seungmin at the door about whether Hyunjin would really be able to “get Y/N” and saying that it would be easy because you “fell for his trap.” To top it off, Seungmin said that he should try too because you seem to be acting like a saint, but behind his back you were hooking up with Hanji and trying to deceive Hyunjin, so one more wouldn’t make a difference.”

“They saw that I heard because when I left I threw some truths in both of their faces. Seungmin tried to punch me, but I was faster and punched him in the face, pushed them both away and left.”

“My God…I always had a bad feeling about Hyunjin…it’s a shame I was right.”

“I’m going to kill those idiots.” - Han

“Guys, you better calm down, it’s not worth wasting your time with them, I’ve already taken care of this.”

“I need to talk to Hyunjin” -Alanna

“Be careful, pretty” -Hanji

Y/N finds Hyunjin standing at the door of their classroom

“Hi, honey” -hyunjin

“Don’t call me that, idiot”

“Calm down, why are you like this? Are you nervous because of your friend Cris? Didn’t he fuck you today?”

“Fuck you!” Y/N ends up slapping Hyunjin hard in the face, who freezes there after realizing that everyone saw it. Including the girls he picks up. How could they trust him after that? They even *filmed* it.

Cris and Han get the girl out of there before the confusion gets worse and the three of them go to the cafeteria since the class was free.

“Y/N, I don’t want to see you get into this kind of trouble anymore, I know he deserved it but you could have gotten hurt, if you need anything call me and I’ll fix it” -Cris

“Honestly, you were amazing, princess” -Hanji

Cris gives Hanji a disappointed look

“What’s wrong? I’m trying to lighten the mood” -Han

“I’m sorry but I couldn’t let him talk to me like that, I know I don’t have many female friends but that doesn’t mean I’m a bitch who sits with every boy I see, especially because the only sluts here are Ágata and Hyunjin.”

“I agree, beautiful, but it’s true, when you need it, call one of us” -Han

°

Y/N goes home with Hannie and they decide to watch a movie, but the girl feels so overwhelmed.

They go to the kitchen to make a snack and she starts to cry

"Kitty, are you crying?"

He hugs her and she rests her head on his shoulder while he strokes her back

"And is this crying from happiness or sadness?"

"It’s just that…everything has been so “heavy” lately, there’s a lot going on and I didn’t expect this to happen so I felt horrible with each passing moment. I can’t explain it, I thought he could be a light but in fact he became the darkness that I run away from so much now, I’m sure he’ll try to destroy my image. I bet on a loser dog and realized that I was the loser" - Y/N

"Think about what makes you want to stay, not what makes you want to leave, everyone in that school knows what he did, everyone knows he lost and anyone who disagrees is a loser like him." -Han

"I discovered a new galaxy when I met you, I love you so much." -Y/N

"- I always loved you my love, I always knew it was you, I was always crazy about you" -Han

"- crazy?"

"- yes, crazy, completely crazy" -Han

He grabs her waist and lifts her chin delicately with his finger and kisses her slowly, passionately

She thought: “Hanji, how hypnotizing you were.”

-" Thank you for not give up on me." -Han