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underground-secret · 1 day ago

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The Hunter and the Witch~ Dean Winchester x f! reader

Halloween Edition~ Can be read as a stand-alone

Description: Halloween special baby!!!! Reader tries to convince Dean to go to a halloween party with her even though they're on their way to Stanford to get Sam.

Warnings: This takes place before they get to Sam's college so we are going back a little but that's okay. Purely two idiots who clearly like each other but won't do anything, they already act like a couple, banter, flirting??? This is super self indulgent, can you tell what my favorite holiday is?

This can be read as a stand-alone/one-shot or as a part of the series (up to you.)

Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @okayiamkassandra @fablesrose @ada--44 @bonkydarnes @star-yawnznn @crazyunsexycool @onlyangel-444 @seninjakitey @mystic-mara @mxltifxndom @stilesxreid @chaotic-luvrs @tiggytaylor @deanwasscaredbyacat @imaginexred @daisychaingirl

Word Count: 3,389

Halloween Drive

(Master list, Prev Ch, Next Ch)

The golden morning sun streams through the passenger window of the Impala, casting soft beams of light over the dashboard. Outside, orange and yellow leaves dance to the ground, their descent slow and graceful, as if savoring the last moments of fall.

We won’t see trees like these for a while….I think. Despite all my hunting trips, I’ve never been to LA, or California in general, but I doubt their autumns could compare to the likes of Maine or Massachusetts where it feels like you stepped into another world. But for now, even though we’re still a couple of states away from where we need to be, fall still lingers, holding on in its final, beautiful breaths.

The window is down, and the crisp air sweeps across my skin, weaving through my hair like a cool whisper. The leaves crunch as the wheels of the car roll over them, an earthly scent filling the car. “You seem particularly perky today,” Dean remarks. I glance over, and he’s already watching me, his green eyes glinting with curiosity.

A wave of excitement surges through me, making me want to leap out of the car and sprint into a pile of leaves. “That’s because today is the best day ever, like, the best day out of all the days,” I reply, grinning so wide it feels like my face might burst.

“Yeah?” he asks, his smile tugging at the corners of his lips, soft and teasing. His eyes drop, lingering briefly before they lock back onto mine. The sunlight hits those eyes just right, making the green glow a shade lighter, “And what day would that be?” Whether he’s humoring me or not is unclear. But, with a smile like that and the way his eyes shimmer, it does not matter. “It’s Halloween!” I beam, my excitement rivaling the brightness of the sun. He chuckles, his voice gravelly, the smile still lingering on his lips as his eyes shift back to the road, “Is that right?”

“Yes, it’s Halloween, the best day ever! Therefore, we are obligated to do something, because frankly, that's just the rules,” I ramble, my excitement bubbling over. I feel antsy like I need to skip around to burn off the energy.

“Alright, sweetheart, slow your roll,” he says, chuckling, “You’re practically bouncin’ in your seat.”

My eyebrows furrow in protest. I am certainly not bouncing, it’s just my veins buzzing with anticipation. But I can’t stay offended or grumpy on a day like this, so I quickly return to smiling. “I’m just really excited,” I reason.

“I know you are,” he replies, his eyes twinkling, “I think you love Halloween more than any kid does.” And he’s certainly right.

“Can you blame me?” I counter, “It’s Halloween, as in Halloween!”

“Right,” he chuckles, a low, warm sound. “Are you always this excited on Halloween?”

“What do yo–” Then it hits me. “Oh my god, have we really never spent a Halloween together?” I could’ve sworn we had.

“Nah, always around it. You were excited then, but this…” He glances at me, a playful smile spreading across his face, “This is a whole new level.” I must have confused it with those times we spent together indulging in candy and baked goods while watching slasher films. Those were good times, perfect times even, when the darkness fell and a bitter chill washed over the town and he’d show up at my doorstep as if the wind had brought him to me. They were stolen moments, times he wasn’t busy with a hunt or when he could break away from his Dad to spend the night with me. I don’t remember when the tradition started, but I know he always tried to make it, so it didn't matter if it wasn't on the holiday itself. My excitement around the holiday never wavered, either. Whether it was months or days before, or even days after, it always lingered, eagerly awaiting the next year. “Well, now you get to experience just how insufferable I am firsthand,” I remark with a grin.

“I’d say adorable, but that works too,” he replies, grinning back, and I can’t help how my stomach erupts with butterflies.

“What do you normally do on Halloween?” I ask, ignoring how my cheeks feel warm despite the cool air hitting me. I’ve somehow never thought to ask him, always too caught up in our fun together around the holiday. He shrugs, “Nothin’ really, just eating candy without your company.”

I scoff, “You seriously never went to a party or anything? That seems like you’re scene.”

“Sometimes. Depends,” he answers vaguely.

Stupidly I ask, “Not even to find a good hookup? Because no night is better than Halloween. In the wise words of Cady Heron, ‘Halloween is the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.’”

“Yeahhh,” he grins stupidly, and it’s obvious his mind is wandering. He could be thinking of those hypothetical hookups, or girls in slutty costumes. I suppose I can’t blame him.

I hit his shoulder playfully, “Reel those thoughts in, cowboy.” The old pet name slips off my tongue before I can stop it. He seems to blink out of his daydream, returning to reality. “Speaking of slutty, what were you gonna be this year?” he asks, lifting a hand from the steering wheel to rest on the back of my seat, his fingers brushing my shoulder.

“Oh, so you’re assuming I was gonna dress like a—” I tease, but he cuts me off with a knowing look and a quirked eyebrow, “Okay, fine. Guilty.”

I lean down, digging through my bag at my feet until I find my little digital camera. “Lucky for you, I took pictures when I first tried on the costume.” I power it on, scrolling through past images until I find the photos I took in the mirror. I might as well consider a job in photography with how good they came out.

“Bam! Little Red Riding Hood,” I announce, flipping the camera around for him to see. His eyes leave the empty road to focus on the little screen, and I know I look good. My makeup was dark, and my hair full. The costume itself has a detailed deep red corset with delicate white ruffles on top, pulled tight enough that my breasts nearly spill out entirely. The fluffed-up skirt, adorned with the same red and black details, barely reached mid-thigh. All topped together by the short cape that spilled down my shoulders, reaching the same length as the dress.

His gaze drifts down the photo and then back up, incredibly slowly—or at least it feels that way as I hold the camera up. He flicks his eyes to the road, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Maybe his butt is falling asleep, how long have we been driving? His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, and then he wets his lips before speaking, “That’s a good costume.” He seems to notice the drop in his voice with the way he clears his throat.

“Right? I think it’s super cute,” I say, fiddling with the camera, “I was gonna do a duo costume with my friend, but she had to cancel because of work, which is so lame. But, I guess it works out considering what I’m up to.” I glance at him again, but he seems far more focused on the road now than he was just minutes ago. His knuckles whiten against the steering wheel. “You alright there?” I ask, studying the tension in his jaw.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, his voice gravelly as he responds, “Yeah, yeah.” A short silence hangs between us before he suddenly jumps to a new topic, “You hungry?” he asks. “Because I could go for some grub right about now.”

I laugh, choosing not to question his sudden shift in demeanor, “Sure.”

The small dinner is quiet, but it brims with the spirit of Halloween. Bats dangle in the windows, swaying gently with the breeze each time the door opens. Decorative pumpkins sit on the island bar, and scarecrows and witches rest on piles of hay by the entrance, welcoming the guests. The place has a cozy, homey feel, though it lacks the bustle of life.

The smell of coffee is strong as it wafts around the room, utensils, and dishes clinking as nearby people eat. It’s a peaceful kind of morning.

There’s an older man hunched over the bar, cradling a steaming cup of coffee. He absently pokes at his plate of eggs and toast, his movements slow, unhurried. A waitress with graying hair moves from table to table, her steps steady as she pours refills with a soft smile.

The bell above the door jingles, and the quiet becomes interrupted by two sandy-haired boys rushing in, their little legs carrying them past us in excitement. The younger boy, no older than five, sports a tiny cowboy costume, his fake holster hitting against his side as he beelines towards the booth behind Dean. His slightly older brother follows, struggling to keep his own cowboy hat in place as they tumble into the seat, giggling all the way. A woman, their mother it seems, trails behind them. Her messy blonde ponytail bounces as she laughs, catching the eye of the waitress. “They insisted on wearing their costumes,” she explains, her eyes crinkling with warmth. The waitress smiles in return, placing a hand on her shoulder with a sparkle in her eye that reads of familiarity and community.

Life could be so beautiful. People could be so cute.

I shift my gaze back to the man in front of me, but Dean’s already looking at me, his green eyes peeking over the top of the menu. There’s something there—-something I can’t quite place. “Looks like you’ve got competition, cowboy,” I say, folding my arms on the table, nodding towards the boys behind him. He glances over his shoulder at the kids in the booth, his lips twitching into a slow grin. He looks back at me and confidently declares, “I can take them.”

I laugh, shaking my head, “You are horrible.”

“What? You don’t think I’d win?” His expression is serious, but the slight curl of his lips gives him away.

“Mm,” I hum, though my laughter breaks it, “I don’t know, a 2 v 1 seems a little difficult.”

He taps his fingers on the table, feigning deep thought, “Right, right,” he mutters, biting his lip, “And they’ve got those water pistols.”

“Yeah, some real competition,” I say, trying to hold back my continuous laughter. He just makes it so easy to laugh.

“I can still take them.” he shrugs.

“I can't believe we are talking about beating up children,” I shake my head, our stupidity staring back at us.

“You started it.” he points out, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay,” I scuff as if I’m insulted, “Well….not really! I meant in cowboy-ness.”

“Cowboy-ness?” he repeats, eyebrows raised.

“Uh, yes,” I say, doubling down.

“Alright,” he leans closer, elbows on the table, “I’m not ‘cowboy’ enough for you, is that it?” he asks.

“You’re plenty,” I answer, leaning closer, “cowboy.”

He chuckles, tongue in cheek, “You wanna play that game, sweetheart?”

“And what game would that be?” I ask.

“Hello!” A cheery voice greets. We both pull away, startling back as if we got caught doing something we shouldn’t have been doing, “My name is Sharon and I’ll be your server today.” My eyes flicker up to her, an older woman with blond hair, “Can I get you started with any drinks?” she asks. I look to Dean to see if he wants to go first but he nods at me instead, “Can I have a hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon?”

“Good choice,” she smiles, scribbling it down on her notepad, “And you, sir?”

“Black coffee,” he answers.

“Great! I’ll be right back with those,” she pockets her notepad and spins away.

“Okay, a serious topic now,” I start, driving the conversation away from whatever was happening before Sharon came, “You. Me. Halloween Party. Yay, or Nay.”

He scuffs, “You? A party?” disbelief rolling off his tongue.

“Yeah,” I say like it’s obvious.

“But you hate parties,” he points out, “You get overwhelmed by all the people.”

“Okay, yes. But it’d be a Halloween party, which is different…a little,” I reason, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. He gives me a knowing look, “I’ve been to them before!” I add.

“And how long did you last?”

I purse my lips, knowing he’s right. It sucked how well he knew me sometimes. “Okay, well, if I can usually make it an hour or sometimes more if I really push myself.” I may love Halloween but parties are not my scene. The idea of it always sounds cool, but going to one never lives up to my expectations. Though, my expectations are probably quite high. And, of course, he’s right. I do get overwhelmed by all the people and noise. There’s only so much Halloween music and decorations that can make up for that. And, in the case of non-holiday related parties, there’s only so much slutty music that can make up for it. Plus, enjoying that kind of music at home is far more fun. “You can’t say that staying at a Halloween party for a little while, then going to a motel and finding some terrible horror movie to watch while consuming a sickening amount of candy doesn’t sound incredible,” I point out.

“Hate to bust your bubble, sweetheart, but we won’t be stoppin’ at all.”

“Huh?”

“Sorry. But we can make it to Sam today if we don’t stop more than necessary.”

I study his face in disbelief, scanning his features, “Stop lookin’ at me like that,” he says.

“I’m sorry, I’m just making sure you're you because when have you ever been the type to not dilly dally?” I remark, quirking an eyebrow.

“Dilly Dally? Really?” he muses.

“Doesn’t matter what you wanna call it,” I shake my head, “You like to have fun far more than focusing on whatever the task at hand is.”

“Alright, maybe that's true–”

“It’s insanely true” I butt in.

“But, the quicker we get to Sammy the quicker we find my Dad,” he finishes.

Of course now, of all days, he’s the logical one. “I don’t like how good of a point that is.”

To say I’m disappointed would be the understatement of the year. But, it feels wrong to be even a little bit upset when, given the circumstances, we shouldn’t stop to have fun. I might not like John Winchester but he is their Dad and I did agree to help find him. So, I really shouldn’t be upset, or disappointed. It makes total sense to skip out on celebrating Halloween given the situation. I should be fine with this.

Totally fine with it…..

I am so not fine with this.

But, that’s selfish, isn’t it? It feels so wrong to want something at a time like this, let alone something indulgent. So what if Halloween is my favorite holiday and I spend 364 days waiting for it to happen again? This wasn’t the time to be selfish. I cannot be selfish. I’ll keep pretending it’s whatever because it has to be whatever. The open road is ahead of us and we’re one too many hours away from Stanford to complain about some holiday. And it is just some holiday…right?

This sucked.

Would it be appropriate to throw a fit? Because it feels like ‘throw a fit’ time.

No. It’s okay. You don’t have to celebrate a holiday to appreciate it in all its glory. Yeah.

It’s not disappointing and it’s not sad. Not at all. Not one bit. Everything’s okay. The world will keep spinning. “You’re pouting,” Dean suddenly says, breaking the silence that had settled between us since we got back in the car.

“I’m not pouting,” I correct, eyeing him from my peripheral vision.

“Then what's with that bottom lip?” He replies, eyes slipping away from the road to look at me. I correct my face, keeping any potential pouts away. “Why are you looking at my lips?” I throw back without thinking. He scuffs, rolling his eyes, “You’re ridiculous.’

“Hey,” I whine, eyebrows scrunching together.

“There’s that pout again,” he points out.

“Leave me and my pout alone,” I argue, hitting his arm. Except he doesn’t react to it at all, not even a flinch. Maybe I should stop pulling my punches. “So you admit you were pouting,” he smirks.

Now he’s doing this on purpose. I give him an unamused look that I hope he can see from his peripheral, “You're going to make me lose my mind…hope you know that.”

“Not the worst thing a guy can hear,” he shrugs with a smug smile.

“Now you’re the one being ridiculous,” I mock, but his stupid implication makes my stomach flutter in the most pathetic way possible.

“‘You wanna tell me why you’re upset?” he asks, putting us back on the intended conversation.

“I'm not upset,” I answer.

“If this is about the Halloween thing, I’m sorry.”

“No, I know. And it makes total sense, I’m not upset,” I assure. He looks at me then, eyes studying my face for the truth. I don’t know what he finds but it must be enough for him to accept what I said since he returns his eyes to the road.

An orange hue settles on the horizon, the sun on her descent. As she dips down, so do the hours left of the day and my spirits. While everyone else got to celebrate the holiday, I couldn’t. It’s been hard to stay in a good mood.

At least the drive has been nice. That’s a positive thing I can focus on. It’s been nice to feel the cold air on my skin, to intake the crisp smell of leaves and nature. But, it also makes me long for what I can’t have.

The hours dwindle on. Halloween dwindles on.

It’s just one year I’d be missing, it’s not the end of the world.

Maybe I should take a nap. That's sure to make it better, or at least make me feel I’m not missing out on anything.

It’s not a difficult task to accomplish as I fold my arms across my chest, curling into myself. My eyes flutter close with the soft drive—the soothing motion of it, the crisp air, the chill that bites at my skin…..

…..

….

My eyes open, blinking impossibly slowly as they adjust to being awake again. Sleep clings to my brain, wanting to pull me back under the waves of rest. I stretch my aching limbs with soft sighs, something soft slipping down my shoulders….

Wait.

I blink rapidly, forcing my brain to work and catch up. The soft thing skims down my arms, I peer down at it through squinted eyes. A blanket. It’s a blanket. A soft white blanket with pumpkins on it…

What?

“Dean?” I call, my voice dripping with the remains of sleep.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” he answers smoothly. He’s still driving, hands steady on the wheel. I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Near darkness cloaks the car now, the only guiding light being the headlights. “Wha—where did this blanket come from?” I ask, but my brain is not finding a logical solution.

Dean clears his throat, “I, uh, bought it…for you.”

“You did?” I ask, a soft, dopey smile on my lips. I take the blanket in my hands, the soft material all warm and wonderful. When did he buy this? Why did he buy this? I have so many questions, but they are all outweighed by the warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart.

“You were cold,” he explains, “You were shivering.”

“So you stopped out of your way to get me a blanket?” The smile on my lips and the flutter in my gut is uncontrollable.

He keeps a stoic face like he won’t show the vulnerability of his care. “Look in the backseat,” he directs, mumbling.

I give him a questioning look but do so anyway, twisting in my seat. A grocery bag sits there, its contents spilling out enough to identify it as a bag of candy and a DVD of some sort. My heart stutters, my mind working to compute this information while remembering to breathe. Right, I have to breathe. “No…” I say, turning to him slowly, “You didn’t.”

He shrugs, a slight smile pulling on the corners of his lips, “It’s Halloween.”

“Dean Winchester, if you weren’t driving right now I’d tackle you in a hug,” I admit. That familiar pump of excitement flowing through my veins again.

“I know it’s not the same—-” “Are you kidding me?!” I cut him off, “This is incredible, it’s amazing—-You’re amazing!”

“Watch what you do to my ego, sweetheart,” he teases with that easy charming smile.

“I might regret giving you an ego boost later but right now….” I shake my head, “This is perfect.”

Is it possible to be in love with someone twice?

His smile softens, and after a moment’s pause, he makes up his mind. He signals, guiding the Impala off the long stretch of road and onto the gravel shoulder, the car coming to a gentle stop. “If I make you wait any longer you might explode,” he remarks, his voice warm.

I don’t waste another second—grabbing my laptop from my bag and my new blanket, I’m out of the car in a heartbeat, excitement bubbling up inside me as I hurry around to his side. I shift eagerly from foot to foot as he takes his time sliding out of the driver’s seat, teasingly slow. But, the moment he’s up, I practically leap at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down to my level. His hands instinctively find my waist just as my lips meet his cheek. I press a soft kiss there, feeling the warmth beneath my lips, the yearning in my chest only growing. Pulling back just enough to catch his gaze, I beam up at him before peppering his cheek with quick kisses.

I pull away for good this time, laughing. I move too quickly to catch his expression, but as I slip into the backseat and beckon him over, he pauses for a moment before joining me. Once inside, he guides me into place, settling us comfortably with his back against the door and me sitting between his legs. The blanket he bought me is draped over us, and my laptop balances on my lap.

He already has several pieces of candy stuffed into his mouth, the wrappers discarded carelessly around him, when I slide the DVD of Jeepers Creepers into my laptop.

Maybe today didn’t start perfectly, but right now, here together, nothing else matters.

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pixelizedprince · 28 days ago

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A sleepy morning with Bishop and Emmrich; 1.5k

💀💀💀💀

m!elven rook x emmrich (gilf x gilf fans rise up)

fluff w/ angsty past relationships & fade to black shenanigans mentioned

pre-labelled relationship

oc companion mentioned (margaux, bishop's niece)

my old man elf has a big bushy mustache. i'm not sorry.

💀💀💀💀

The simulated mornings in the fade would never get easier on Bishop. The pseudo-sunrise gave no heat, the off-colored glow reminded him more of the coast before a thunderstorm than the golden rays he loved. The elf shrugged his robe closer, trying to keep the warmth of sleep on him as he puttered his way across the courtyard, up floating stone steps towards the kitchen. His mind wandered from the eerie glow of the “sky” to this morning's first few blinks of restless sleep into dim candlelight, supernatural in source as well, but much more welcomed.

Bishop's good eye adjusted quickly, taking in the shadow of the figure he was tangled up with. Sheets wrapped around both their bodies. The taller man still slept, his usually pristine coiffed hair currently soft and natural, gently covering his brows. It took everything in Bishop not to trace over every line, every mark across Emmrich's sleeping face and neck; peppering more kisses like he had mere hours before. He decided against it, the weary mage deserved to sleep like the dead a little while longer.

Bishop hadn't intended to stay in the Necromancer's chambers that evening, but after encounters with blighted beings the previous day, they had tested the limits of their ragtag guard. Emmrich insisted Bishop use the necromancer's self made disinfectant (a combination of hearth laurel, deep mushrooms, and some kind of enchantment. The smell was a tinge medicinal, sharp with magic, but also earthy); an old Nevarran blend for after working with the undead. The mage requested he personally check that none of their wounds went without care, and Bishop offered the same in turn…. the process had gone much later into the night than intended…

Now breathing in the remnants of the odd almondy-earthy-magic spiced scent, feeling the warmth of the man beneath him, Bishop's heart fluttered. He was no stranger to the excitement of l̶o̶v̶e̶ companionship, but this was the first time in a long time it made him feel lighter, it was almost dizzying the way Emmrich had enchanted him in such a short time. The elf slowly pulled away and watched Emmrich's chest rise and fall, faintest snore following the rhythm.

Bishop had been using his chest as a pillow, an intricately stitched pattern of his sleeping gown now temporarily traced over Bishop's cheek. He ran a hand across the delicate indents and grazed the shadow of a beard. Bishop had been too preoccupied with the recent run-ins with darkspawn to care about how his appearance had been the last several days. “Scratchy-” a comment muttered from the quivering lips of the necromancer the night before resurfaced in Bishop's mind and a flush bit his face and ears. He'd have to remember to shave the unwanted stubble this morning, else he'd get an earful from both Emmrich and Margaux about the importance of “self care” again. His niece had been all but too excited to tell the other man all about Bishop's “selfless to a fault” habits - the necromancer instantly joined Margaux in her ongoing battle to get her uncle to take care of himself. Bishop's eye gazed back down to Emmrich, admiring his immaculately thin mustache - a far cry from Bishop's own bushy lip. The candlelight of the study, soft, but enough to see the traces of bruises blooming across his jaw, neck, collarbones - gown hiding even more Bishop knew without a doubt were nested against Emmrich's lily pale skin. He also knew he fared no better. If he was to ask, the marks could be magicked away without a second thought, much like those from the battle the day before were worked out with trained hands. However, a scarf for a few fleeting days to keep the fluttering in his stomach was something the elf was choosing to remain selfish about. It made his chest tight to know without a doubt Emmrich's high collars wouldn’t just be his eccentric fashion choice, but a practical one as well. Echos of desperate pleas reminded Bishop the marks weren't only welcomed but hungrily requested.

A gnawing feeling in Bishop's mind was trying to signal that this was foolish, that there were more important things at stake and there would be dire consequences for being distracted, but Bishop used a significant amount of energy to tell the wolf to shove it and the thoughts bitterly dispersed. He knew it wasn't all the unwanted passenger taunting those ideas though. Ghosts of his past had trained his heart to be wary. Everything about this c̶o̶u̶r̶t̶s̶h̶i̶p̶ f̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ r̶e̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶h̶i̶p̶ connection had felt more real than anything he'd had in years. Bishop had found that Emmrich treated him in a way where the elf felt not just needed but wanted, and not just for the physical advances, but genuine quiet moments of intimacy, lingering glances, actual caring conversations. It didn't seem like this was only a quick fun thing to relieve the stress of their situation. Bishop was damn near as terrified to define this good thing as he was to take down the Gods of his kinship, but gods if he didn't wish to spend not just this moment but tomorrow and the day after that with the man who had allowed him to feel like himself for a few moments. Selfish, his niece demanded he be more selfish, so Bishop leaned in once more and kissed the temple of the resting man. He wanted this to be more, to be his, to be them together with Emmrich.

The necromancer stirred from the kiss’ touch and his heavily lidded eyes caught Bishop's, a gentle smile instantly rising from his half conscious face. “Good morning my dear.”

Bishop almost couldn't bear the weight of how those simple words twisted him even more madly i̶n̶ l̶o̶v̶e̶. The elf's own face bloomed into a giant toothy smile, bracing himself once more as he leaned across the bunk, kissing h̶i̶s the mage.

Emmrich leaned up into the kiss, chuckling at the sweet sight of the slightly flushed elf. Through half-lidded eyes, and though his body was still slow from sleep, Emmrich's teasing tone was quick, “It's with a heavy heart that I must rest a while more before I can go another round so early my dear. Though for you I'd try-” their mouths had barely parted when the necromancer sighed his words, reaching a heavily ringed hand to rest on top the one Bishop was leaning down on.

Bishop instantly turned his head and cleared his throat, the thought hadn't not crossed his mind, but it was going to be another long day and they both needed their energy for fighting for now… “As much as we'd both enjoy that-” Bishop linked digits with the hand that had fallen on top of his and pulled the knuckles to his lips, “-we should probably greet the others soon…” he kissed the rings, glittering like stars on Emmrich's hand, gemstones and ornate designs like an entire galaxy, and gave a gentle squeeze to the hand. “Dream a little longer Em. I will go get us some tea and a nibble and be back soon.”

“A nibble? Why, Bishop, I do believe we had plenty of that last night.” The quirk of Emmrich's lips, framed by his dark mustache and Bishop was undone. The necromancer howled as Bishop pounced down into the crook of Emmrich's neck and rapidly kissed the mage, their laughter combining into a tender song.

“Wicked,” Bishop tutted, “You are a wicked man Emmrich Volkarin. And I am powerless against your dastardly ways.” Through the laughter and shower of affection, their positions in the bunk had shifted. Bishop found himself now hovering, his face looking down upon the taller man. Calming from his laughing fit, Emmrich now lay flat on his back, Bishop essentially pinning him to the bed. Bishop could feel him taking in the sights, studying the elf like he was a new theory or spell.

Emmrich looked up at Bishop like he was the universe. Emmrich's hands slid, with all the confidence of reaching for the stars and hoping to come down with one in your fist. The mage's palms found purchase cupping the elf's cheeks, thumbs running across Bishop's greying temples, curved cheeks, across the long scarred gash that ran a good length through his right eye. Emmrich was solving the equations hidden in his freckles, interpreting dreams from each of his wrinkles. Bishop felt like he was drowning, breathless and afraid, to be the subject of such dedicated and wordless admiration. Seemingly satisfied with his research, Emmrich hummed sweetly and closed his eyes once again, head nestling back onto his silk threaded pillow. “I'd like black tea if it isn't too much trouble, Love.” His words were a whisper.

Bishop swallowed and finally caught the air his lungs had been screaming for. Like he was freed from the sea’s cold grasp and allowed to gasp for anything other than saltwater. Bishop leaned down and carefully pressed his forehead against Emmrich's, closing his eyes. His hair framed their faces, a curtain of grey and black, a soft night's sky, to capture the moment of intimacy in a perfect bubble. Gods, this could be love, huh?

#emmrich volkarin #bishop laidir the man that you are #emmrook #dragon age the veilguard #datv #rook x emmrich #or how i learned to write my own m!rook x emmrich and love the run-on-sentence #m!rook #bishop laidir #my rook #drage #da:tv #da:v #da4 #im so sorry i hope yall will accept this two cakes offering im not a writer i just love them so so much #i had to stop myself from writing elezen like 800 times please clap #the part two will never see the light of day just know he does go get the tea in the end okay i love you bye #emmrich

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sanemisstalker · 1 year ago

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NSFW /// KNY characters who I think cum particularly hard/ a lot. This could have a part two, I'm eepy, srry.

CW/ Non specific gendered/genitalia reader / Cum... like an insane amount of cum / BDSM Dynamic (ENMU)/ Light Gore (ENMU)/ tbh, Enmu. / Cum-swapping (AKAZA)

Sanemi Shinazugawa

-Cums hards AND a lot.

-Sanemi isn't quite sure why is body is the way it is, maybe it's his breath control mixed with the insane amount of testosterone and panic pumping through his veins on the daily, but Sanemi doesn't struggle to get it up.

-he struggles to stay flaccid. He's far more likely to be hard at any given moment. Not that he's excited, his dick is just permanently stuck at half mast. It takes an insane, highly emotional amount to get him entirely flaccid.

-I think Sanemi's orgasm absolutely shreds him everytime, unanimously. Does that stop him from getting it up in another ten minutes? Absolutely not. I just truly think he's a medical anomaly.

-He cums prematurely, but what does it matter? It literally didn't go down, he's still fucking going, now he's just like, in tears about it.

-I think Sanemi's eyes get really wide and he gets lock jaw, and he seethes and he tries to hold back any noise, but it just shreds the poor guys throat, and now he's sore, and it hurts him to moan, but he just can't help it, you feel so fucking good- and all for him? It's all for him?

-Shakes. Sobs. Sounds incredibly desperate, don't let the facade fool you. If he loves you, he's a crier.

-Also physically cums a lot. Not just by how many orgasms, but by how much each time is. I think he's got an obnoxiously low set of balls. He's made to breed, the poor bastard. If he can't let go in you, both of you are covered in it by the end of the night.

-Sanemi has yet to tap out before you.

Kyōjurō Rengoku

-Cums a lot.

-Rengoku has good stamina, but once he cums, he's done for, no more. He can keep going if he really wants to, or if you look like you really need him, but chances are the first round wad more than enough.

-vocal, but in a fatherly way. Sex with Rengoku is probably very... comfortable.

-Until he cums and now you're sticky from your chest to your upper thigh. The range of his shot is insane. He cums buckets, and he barely blinks. His breathing gets a little ragged, and his chest a little shakey, but that's it.

-He needs to go night night after, though. Feeling any amount of joy that doesn't come from stuffing his face does a number on him emotionally and physically. He needs a cuddle and a conversation about... idk, taxes after.

-Won't beg to cum in you, but really, really wants to.

-He always pulls out like a gentleman (if you can be much of a gentleman when you're balls deep), but you can always tell that he wants to see your face so bad when he pumps you full.

-Will not ask. That'd be rude.

-Talks you through your orgasm, but that's another post for another day.

Enmu

-Fuck, I just know he's a screamer. He cums so hard.

-This guy's a fucking mess, but it takes work.

-Enmu is such a good submissive that you're always shocked when he decides to mouth off to you, or when he forgets a command. Not too shocked, though. It's very clearly intentional. It always is.

-He gives himself a bit in between each 'screw up' to make sure he's edged himself mentally properly (very hard, he's almost always some kind of aroused, and he's prone to cumming untouched, so that build up is a little diificult.)

-While he doesn't struggle to ask for things, and his dignity is subzero, Enmu still appreciates a stray chase here and there. After all, it's the only thing mentally stimulating enough for him to cum.

-In any normal dynamic with Enmu, he isn't often left using his dick. So when you've got a spear through his wrists, locking them behind his back, one hand pulling his hair, the other jerking his cock with thoughtless speed-

-Enmu can never cum harder than when he's recieving borderline abuse. His dick looks irritated, going untouched for months previous, and now it's receiving all this attention. Can you blame him for being this loud?

-His legs shake, his whole body recoils. He drools and screams- laughs and wails. He cries with the brightest smile you've ever seen. His hips buck up. You're not being gentle, and he's so, so happy. The orgasm is ripping through every nerve in his body.

-He feels like he's in the sun again.

-He's hoping Muzan can see him look so pathetic. You're just hoping the demon lord stays out of your man's head.

Akaza

-cums like a horse.

-a lover, truly. That's the only word encompassing enough to describe Akaza's efforts sexually. He's a fantastic lover.

-... who can go for hours... days even and never get tired. Every orgasm blows off his shoulders- It's all about you. It always has been, it always will be.

-You've made him cum hard before, it's a rarity, but it's possible... Its just nothing feels as good to him as watching you cum, so he'll do whatever must be done-

-and if that means pumping you full again and again, until you're leaking from every accessible orifice, so be it.

-He'll lick your hole clean, reveling in the way you twitch after your.... you lost count after the fifth one. That won't stop him from tongue fucking you.

-His cum tastes... shockingly good. You like to give him head, and then come up to give him a kiss. He'll pull your tongue down, wanting to see it in your mouth just before you swallow. You always look so proud of yourself. He can't help but reward you with a kiss before you even get it down.

-there's way to much for one swallow. You can barely manage to keep all of it in your mouth while showing him. Your effort is precious, though.

-Akaza looks really good with cum on his lips. It's one of the only times you see him really flustered.

#sanemi x you #sanemi x y/n #demon slayer x reader #sanemi smut #sanemi x reader #demon slayer smut #hashira x reader #rengoku smut #enmu x reader #enmu x y/n #enmu x you #enmu smut #akaza x reader #akaza smut #akaza x y/n #rengoku x reader #rengoku x y/n #kny x reader #kny smut

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violentdelightsandviolentends · 11 months ago

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Cherry.

Synopsis - The lines of friendship get a little blurry, one unassuming Friday night in December.

Pairing - Bestfriend!Steve Harrington x Female Reader

Warnings - smut. cursing. steve's got an ego, but for good reason.

Age Rating - 18+

Word Count - 2k

Author's Note - hi lovelies!! my first steve fic!! listen, I actually really didn't enjoy stranger things, but... I love this man. he's charming and he's a softie and he's such a good character to write. hope you enjoy this - it's got me all warm and fuzzy. please feel free to send me a christmas request if you fancy, I'm in the mood to write some seasonal fics. much love, always!! <3

as always, reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics!! please, if you enjoyed, consider reblogging this so it gets further reach. comments and feedback are always appreciated!! thanks, angels. <3

Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Masterlist. Inbox. The Moodboard. Series Masterlist.

Three rocks ping off the panes of your bedroom window in quick succession.

You're applying your moisturiser in the mirror, winding down and almost ready for bed. Your reflection is illuminated by a faint glow from the fairy lights you've draped over the headboard for the festive season, warm and comforting. A soft, jazzy melody is drifting from the radio softly, a welcome noise to break up the silence.

Another rock hits your window.

You fly out of your seat and towards the source of the trouble, worried that he's going to throw one too hard one of these days.

"Steve," you hiss as you yank it open. "Cut it out. Just come through the door."

"Where's the fun in that?" he chuckles, eyes rife with mischief.

You roll your eyes but step back anyway, making room for him to climb the tree and dive through the window into your room.

"Hi, sugar."

"Hi, Steven."

He grins at you, bright and awake despite the late hour.

"Don't you have better plans on a Friday night, King Steve?"

"And miss out on seeing you in your little pink pyjamas? Absolutely not."

You shove at his chest, smacking him upside the head for good measure. He feigns pain and wraps his arms around your middle, picking you up off the ground and spinning you in circles. You shriek, and the sound makes him laugh.

"Okay, okay! I'm dizzy! Put me down!"

He obliges by throwing you unceremoniously onto your bed, smirking when you almost bounce off it.

"So," he begins, sitting down across from you. "How was it? Do you feel like a whole new woman?"

You scoff.

"What? That bad?"

"Yeah, that bad. We didn't even do it."

He quirks a brow in curiosity, tilting his head to look at you.

"I thought tonight was the big night?"

"Yeah, it was supposed to be. But he was kissing me, and it just didn't feel... right? He started grabbing at me and I realised that you can only lose your virginity once - and that definitely wasn't how I wanted to lose mine."

You shrug, trying to play indifference, but Steve can see the hurt in your eyes.

"You always deserved so much better than him."

"Thanks, Steve."

"Come on, Cherry. The guy is an asshole who happens to be attractive. His face is the only thing he's got going for him."

The mention of your childhood nickname has memories of fruit flavoured popsicles on summer days flooding back. Laughter by the pool, pushing Steve in and screeching when he dragged you with him, staying out in the sun until you were both exhausted. Cherry. You've always been Steve's Cherry, for as long as you can remember. You still wear the lip balm he bought you last year, fitting for your moniker.

"You didn't like him from the start. Actually, you've never liked any guy that has ever liked me."

"Because they're not good enough for you."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"And you're the boss of me and my love life now?"

"I'm the person that knows you better than anyone in the entire world. I think I have a pretty good view on things."

You huff, but accept your defeat in knowing that he's right. No one knows you like him. Steve always does this. He pisses you off, but makes you love him a tiny bit more each time.

He grabs your foot from the bed, pressing his thumbs into your sole. You relax instantly, tired of half arguing with him.

"I give up."

"With what?"

"Dating. Fuck it."

He chuckles, rubbing soothing patterns into your ankle gently.

"You've barely even started."

"Ooo, sorry Mr Womaniser."

"Stop it," he chides, pinching your calf. "Maybe The One for you just isn't in Hawkins. This place has always been too small for us anyway."

"Yeah, maybe. It'll all change when we go to college, hopefully."

"Exactly. It'll be a whole different ball game. There'll be tonnes of hot guys begging for your attention."

"And you'll be fighting them off."

"Yes I will."

You laugh, poking him in the chest with your foot teasingly.

"And maybe the college guys will actually know what they're doing in bed."

"Hey, some of us do know!"

"Yeah yeah, Steve's good in bed. I've heard it all before."

"Don't be jealous, Cherry baby."

"Jealous isn't quite the word I'd use."

"No?"

He drops your foot and scoots closer, settling in between your parted legs.

"You're not even a little bit curious what all the rumours are about?"

"Steve," you laugh. "I think they're probably just exactly that. Rumours."

He inches in towards you, so his forehead is almost touching yours. Running his fingers up and down the outside of your thigh, he takes a deep breath in.

"You should let me show you just how much I know. We're not all clueless, Cherry. I'm confident I could make you feel good."

You exhale with a shudder.

"I'm not letting you take my virginity, Steve."

"I don't want to. There's a thousand ways I can make your legs shake without fucking you, baby."

You stare into his big doe eyes, admiring the way a single strand of hair has fallen across his forehead. You look for a shred of doubt, or amusement, but all you see is love. Admiration. Trust. Sincerity.

"Okay," you breathe, before your mind has truly processed what you're saying. "Show me what you got, Harrington."

He grins, slow and saccharine, like the cat who got the cream.

"Steve?" you whisper.

"Yeah?"

"This isn't going to fuck things up between us, is it?"

He smiles, big and bright.

"Never. Nothing is ever going to fuck things up between us. It's you and me forever, Cherry Pie."

You chuckle at the nickname, stroking his cheek with your thumb.

"Well, then what are you waiting for?"

He shakes his head and grabs your ankle, pulling you across the bed and into his body. Wrapping a hand around the back of your neck, he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours.

"If at any point this gets weird, or you don't like it... Just say the words, okay?"

"Okay," you breathe, inhaling the scent of mint from his tongue. "Promise."

"Can I kiss you?"

"You don't usually ask," you tease.

It's no secret that you and Steve have kissed a few times. Once after prom, once at a party here and there, once when you were cuddled in bed comforting him after a break up. But it's never led to anything more. Which is probably why this feels a little different.

"I know, but this is a little more... intense, than usual."

You try to ignore the way your heart swells at his consideration for you, and nod your head gently.

"Kiss me. Please."

Steve wastes no time, leaning in to press his lips to yours. He tastes like spearmint and soda, with a hint of the cherry lipbalm he steals from your nightstand. You instinctively shuffle closer to him, straddling his lap as his arms bracket themselves around you. It's like he can't decide where to put his hands - they're roaming up your back, squeezing your ass, kneading your thighs. He's antsy and impatient, eager to feel you.

"Lie back," he whispers against your mouth, tipping you onto the bed.

Your head hits your pillows and you crane your neck to watch him as he crawls down your body, eyes never leaving yours.

"Steve-"

"Stop thinking so hard, Cherry. I can practically hear your thoughts."

You huff but can't keep the smile off your face, willing your mind to stop racing.

"Let me quiet things down, hmm?"

Steve presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your knee, trailing up and up until he reaches your hip. He licks across your hipbone before nipping it with his teeth, smirking when you gasp.

Grasping the waistband of your pyjama shorts, he asks for permission with his eyes, no words needed. You nod and lift your hips, letting him slide them down your body.

You've never been so exposed, which is causing a sudden realisation that the two of you are crossing a line that can never be uncrossed. As if he can read your mind, Steve presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, tender and full of love.

"Babe, if you want to stop..."

"I don't, I promise. I'm just nervous. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," he murmurs, resting his head on your thigh and looking up at you. "Never apologise. You're doing so good, Cherry. I love you."

You didn't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't I love you. You've both said it to each other a million times, but something about saying it in this exact moment makes it feel... weighted. You'll talk about it later. You'll make sure of it.

"I love you too. So much."

You're whispering, scared to ruin the peace you've created. Steve kisses your skin again gently, gazing at you like you've hung the stars just for him.

"Let me make you feel good, okay?"

When you nod, Steve nudges your core with his nose, arms wrapping around your thighs to keep you anchored in place.

"So pretty," he's mumbling. "Prettiest fuckin' girl I've ever seen."

He starts slow, easing you in carefully. Kitten licks and gentle nips, testing the waters. When you tangle a hand into his hair and tug, Steve gets the message.

"You want more, pretty baby?"

"Yes," you confirm, more breathless than intended. "Please."

He dives back in, this time with more intention. His nose keeps nudging your clit, the friction licking up your spine deliciously. It's like he can't get enough, eating you out like a man starved.

He groans into your heat, the vibrations making you whine. When he curls his tongue just right, you keen, the sounds leaving your mouth foreign to the both of you.

"Fuck, you sound so beautiful. You're perfect. God, you're perfect."

"Stevie," you pant. "So close."

"I got you. Atta girl, I got you. That's my girl, give it to me."

Maybe it's the my girl, or maybe it's the way he's slipped two fingers into you, but the coil snaps. Your back arches off the bed as white heat engulfs your body, vision going black for a moment. You can hear him talking you through it, loving and encouraging. Eventually, your grip on his hair loosens as you go lax, collapsing back against the comforter.

Steve grins at you as he licks his fingers clean, crawling up your body to kiss you. You groan when you taste yourself, arms wrapping around his shoulders to keep him close. Resting his head on your chest, you run your fingers through his hair, humming gently when he relaxes.

"You okay?"

"Never better," you laugh. "You're good with your mouth, Harrington. I'll give you that."

"Told you the rumours were true."

You shake your head and reach over, grabbing the glass of water from your nightstand and taking a sip. You offer it to Steve without a second thought, rolling your eyes when he downs the rest.

He plucks your cherry lipbalm from the drawer and applies it to himself, before leaning up to carefully do the same to you. He pecks your lips sweetly before returning it to its rightful place.

"You replace it, don't you?"

"Hmm?"

"The chapstick. I've had it for a whole year, and I've never even come close to reaching the end."

He blushes as he looks at you, suddenly bashful.

"It's special," he murmurs. "It's our thing, you know? And it smells good. I like knowing that I'm the only one who knows you taste like cherries."

You want to poke fun at him, say something to make him laugh. But you can't. He's rendered you speechless, for the second time in one night.

"I like knowing the reason you taste like spearmint is because I've been slipping pieces of gum into the pockets of your jeans for ten years."

"I knew it," he laughs, leaning up to kiss you firmly. "I can't tell you the last time I bought gum."

"You're welcome."

Steve shucks off his jeans and his shirt, climbing into your bed with just his boxers on. You slip your underwear up your legs before getting under the comforter with him, tangling your limbs with his.

The tunes from the radio still hum gently as the fairy lights flicker.

The room is unchanged.

The people in it are not.

read Part Two here. Part Three here. Part Four here.

@lillian-gallows @bookish-embroidery-witch @sweetdazequeen @fruityforcocoapuffs @steviespookie @livsters @diffrent-spokes @violet2022 @mrsjoequinn @valerievortex @chrrymunson

#steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x reader fluff #steve harrington x bestfriend!reader #bestfriend!steve harrington #bestfriend!steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x bestfriend reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut #stranger things fluff

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foreveradreamaway · 4 months ago

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streaming- MV33/1

summary- a compilation of moments from maxs streams

i really loved writing this as i always have small idea that aren’t long enough to be their own post, if you have any small idea that goes with this or just in general then please comment it or send it to me and i will make a part two or another post similar <3

max loved to stream every now and then. he loved the interactions with fans and getting to play with his friends. you also loved when max streamed because it gave you some peace and quiet for a while, it also allowed you to do some house work without max following you like a lost puppy.

you had made numerous appearances in his streams and his fans loved it. probably enjoying seeing you both as actual humans and getting to see how you both live your daily lives together. some fans had made a compilation of the many times you made an appearance in one of maxs streams.

🏎️

max sat in his gaming chair immersed in whatever game he was playing. you needed something from the room he was in and it couldn’t wait.

you opened the door as slowly and quietly as possible and creeped over to the thing you needed. apparently you weren’t quiet enough and he heard you. he moved one side of his headset off his ear.

“sorry, i just needed to grab the end thing for the hoover.” you sheepishly smiled. he only grinned in return. you took this as the opportunity to walk up behind him so you were in the frame.

“what are you playing?” you questioned as your face finally came in shot.

“im playing cod with lando, charles and carlos”

“aww cute” you sent a quick wave to say hello to everyone that was on the other end of the camera. however your eyes were quickly caught by the top of maxs head.

“can they hear me?” you questioned, he nodded. “okay. hello everyone, it’s your favourite person in the world here and i just needed to show you something” max had a confused look on his face as he watched you through the camera, wondering what you were about to show.

your hands reached for each side of the head set that was on his head and slowly removed it and handed it to him. your hands then went to either side of his head and tilted it down.

“max gets really bad headset hair guys and it will literally stay like this for the rest of the day” max’s hands quickly went up to his hair to attempt to fix while you and the chat couldn’t help but laugh.

“shut up” he grumbled as he lifted the head set back onto his head. “love you baby!” you called over your shoulder as you left the room.

“i hate her”

“i heard that!”

🏎️

“mijn liefste, wil je zo pasta? Ik ben er nu een paar aan het maken” you can’t be seen as you poke your head round the door.

“Het gaat goed, dank je schat” he replies while not taking his eyes off the game but removing one side of his headset. “welke pasta ben je aan het maken?”

“i know i’m learning but im not that good yet max” you laugh.

“i said ‘what pasta are you making” he replies, suddenly feeling hunger bubble his stomach.

“i’m not sure yet. are you sure you don’t want any? i’ll surprise you” making food has always been one of your love languages, your mum had shown you to cook as soon as she could and you picked it up quick.

“yeah go on then” he finally turns to you and smiles as you walk away. when he finally turns back he sees the chat filled with questions and people telling him how cute you both are.

“yeah she is learning dutch. i’m teaching her” his face lights up as he talks about you. “it’s very easy for her though because she already knows other languages so she picks it up quickly” his smile never leaving his face.

🏎️

max is looking intensely at the chat in-front of him, reading everything is the chat. answering a couple questions. he does this until he sees a familiar name come up.

“‘answer your phone’ what?” he quickly picks up his phone to see that he has ten missed calls from you. he is quick to call you back.

“max stop putting your phone on do not disturb and silent” you scold. he always did when he was streaming, he always said it was because he didn’t want to be disturbed however sometimes it was important. like now.

“sorry schat.”

“do you want anything from the shop? i’ve already got your m&ms and tomato soup.” max had a soft spot for m&ms and everyone knows about this man’s love of tomato soup.

“no i’m okay thank you baby. what are we having for dinner” max had a massive smile on his face. half because he was talking to you and because he knew how much everyone watching would love the conversation.

“well you’ve got mean prep” you couldn’t help but laugh as max groaned loudly and threw his head back. he hated meal prep. don’t get me wrong he loved being healthy and eating nice food but sometimes he just craved your cooking. “and i’m having a stir fry.”

“ugh whatever. i want stir fry”

“i know baby. ill make you one as soon as your nutritionist will allow me too”

“okay fine. when will you be home?” max kept the phone close to his mic to make sure everyone would be able to hear you on the other end of the phone.

“not long, i took the ferrari so it won’t take me long to get home. i don’t have my keys so be ready to pick up your phone and open the door! okay, i love you bye” you ended the phone call quickly before he could say anything about you taking his car.

“i swear she prefers my cars over her own” he laughed as he read through the chat again.

🏎️

when you moved in with max you demanded that a sofa be put into his gaming/office room. he got you the cosiest sofa he could just to make sure you were comfy. max spent a lot of time in the room and you missed him when he was in there.

before you lived together, you tried to sit on the floor when you were round but you just weren’t comfortable enough so that’s when you demanded a sofa. if max was streaming or just had some admin stuff to do, you would just sit on the sofa and enjoy each-others company.

max was streaming, as per usual, while you sat all snuggled up on the sofa across the room. you had one the comfiest jumper of his that you could find, his joggers, a blanket covering your whole body and tucked under your chin and you glasses that sat on your nose.

max had specifically bought a pair of joggers that were too small for him. one day he came home to see you wearing a pair of his that were far to big for you and when he questioned you, you said that you just enjoy wearing his clothes. so the next day he went and bought a pair that were to small and placed them in his waldrobe. from then on they were yours.

you were also a secret iPad kid at heart. your iPad was literally your prized possession and you took it everywhere with you. now was no different as you sat there with your ipad resting on your legs as you watched tik tok.

“look” you turned the ipad around so that it was facing max, he leant on the arm rest of the chair to get a better view of what you were showing him. it was a cat.

“we should get sassy and jimmy one” he laughed as you nodded. he sat back into his chair and caught what the chat were saying. many people asking where you were.

he grabbed the camera from its holder and turned it to face you, showing you under the blanket. he got up out his chair and moved to sit next to you on the sofa.

“you are actually such an old man” you laughed as he struggled to hold the camera so that it would get a view of both of you. “give it to me” you took the camera from his hand and wrapped your other arm around his neck to bring him closer to you.

“hey guys, it’s your favourite person in the world here” the camera now had a perfect view of both of you as you put a quick peace sign up to the camera. you quickly nudged max and his fingers quickly went to the same position as yours. “i want to show you all my outfit, hold this baby” you handed the camera to max and threw the blanket onto him as you stood from your seat.

“max, show them my whole body my love” you laughed as he was only showing the camera your legs. “i’m trying Schat” you leant forward a bit and moved maxs hand so it faced where it should be.

“okay so my glasses are from specsavers, they are the only people i trust with my glasses. even if i need a new pair i would rather fly home than get a pair from anywhere else. because if they messed my glasses up i would just hear my mum in my ear saying ‘should have gone to specsavers’. my jumper is maxs- where is this jumper from?” you questioned him.

“umm its a zara one i think”

“okay so the jumper is from zara and these joggers are from nike. can i even say that? do they even sponsor you?” max’s laugh could be heard from behind the camera before he replies. “yeah it’s okay. i think” his face fell into a sheepish grin behind the camera.

“my socks are from god knows where. and the blanket is from also god knows where.” you gave the camera a big smile as you fell back into your previous position.

“you are the new version of maxplaining”

“shut up”

🏎️

“can we play fifa?” you were sat on the floor, cross legged, next to max while he sat in his gaming chair. “you only want to play fifa because you always beat me” he huffed.

“exactly” you grinned at him.

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ceilidho · 1 year ago

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landscape with honey

summary: price/reader bear shifter fic. PART 4. (read the whole thing on ao3 here) tags: light daddy kink, breeding kink, very nsfw, she/her pronouns for reader

He starts showing up at your house at odd hours.

You’re fixing coffee in the morning, still fuzzy and warm from sleep, only to hear the sounds of hammering outside. Wrapping yourself in just a housecoat, you find John fixing the loose step on your stairs, barely sparing enough time to greet you before returning to the task at hand. When he finishes, he brushes off your attempts to pay him for the job, just loading his tools back in the car and driving off.

You sip your coffee and wonder. Odd.

The next day, you find him raking the leaves in your lawn. Two days later, he shows up at the grocers when you’re picking up produce, and helps you carry all your bags to the car. He also adds a peculiar amount of canned goods to your order and when you fret and try to tell him that you don’t need the pickles and sauerkraut and beans and all of that stuff, he just lays a hand flat on your head and drags it down your hair until you go quiet.

He pays for the whole order.

You’ve never had to wonder about a man’s actions. Men are largely inscrutable to you, ever-shifting. They say one thing and mean another. They look at you like one might look at an oil painting, entitled something like Virgin Meeting Her Lover’s Eyes From The Top Of The Staircase or Landscape With Virgin. They speak to you as though an answer were entirely antithetical to their purpose in conversing with you.

John listens to you with a focus that borders on intimidating, like he wants to hear each word enunciated exactly how you might enunciate it. It has the sharp clarity of respect, of a mutual acknowledgement of humanity. He also comes over to fix your sink without you having to ask. The world of men is still largely confusing to you.

John grows surlier as the days grow shorter though. He doesn’t snap or snarl at you the way he does sometimes with his recruits (you rarely see him interact with them, but sometimes you’ll drop him off his lunch on the days when you’re feeling particularly generous and that’s when you’ll have the rare pleasure of hearing him shout at a trembling twenty-three year old for littering on the trail like a military captain), but it’s a near thing.

The worst is when he catches you on a jog one morning on his drive to work. You see his truck with the faded red paint pass you by and you give a short wave that he returns. He passes you by about half a yard before coming to a full stop and reversing. You stare at him as the window rolls down, brows furrowed.

“Hi Jo—” you start.

“Get in the car,” John growls. You hear the doors unlock.

“…My uh…my shift’s in two hours, John, I can’t just—”

“Get in the car.”

“This is my only time to exercise!”

“If I have to get out of this car and drag you inside, honey, I will. Don’t play with me. Get in.”

You get in the car. Probably wisely. Still dripping sweat and shivering from the cold—you’re not used to jogging in the winter, or at all for that matter, but it seemed like as good a time as any to start—you glance over to stare at the side of John’s face. His jaw is set, almost as if in anger. His knuckles are white over the steering wheel as he makes a U-turn and drives back into town. The cab of his truck smells like flannel pulled out from the back of a closet, almost musty, but comforting in the way that old clothes can sometimes smell. There’s a cigarette ashed out in the dish in front of the centre console.

He takes you to the nearest bakery for coffee and a breakfast muffin and stares you down until you eat the whole thing. You feel like you have to scarf it down. Customers bustle into the bakery to order coffee to-go and fresh cookies and scones in waxy paper bags; everyone in town knows each other so you try to avoid the more curious stares when they’re turned on you.

“This is weird,” you say, staring down at the crumbs on your plate. “This is really weird.”

“This is what you get for exercising before winter,” John says, flagging down the barista for another muffin and a refill on your coffee. “Waste of calories.” The last part is said derisively, almost with a scoff.

You frown. “Lots of people exercise. Even when it snows.”

“Winter is a time for hibernating. Not…sweat,” he says with a grimace, like the very thought is anathema to him.

"Hibernating?" you repeat skeptically, scrunching up your nose. "I mean, I spend a lot of time indoors, but I wouldn't say I'm hibernating."

John stares at you until you look away, flushed. "Finish your breakfast."

The barista returns with another blueberry muffin and a fresh cup of coffee. At least John's the one paying. When he finally seems satisfied, he hustles you home and leaves you off at the door with a stern warning.

“You gonna be good for me this time?” he asks, a finger curled under your chin, tilting your head up. One of his hands curls around the doorframe and your heart jumps when you hear the wood creak under his grip. This close, you can see the faintest silver streaks at his temples and the flecks of it in his beard.

“It was just a light jog,” you mumble, looking away.

“Not a light anything,” he warns, ducking closer until you feel like shrinking back, like disappearing into your house. “Bake a cake if you have to burn off energy so bad. I’ll be over around seven, alright?”

You mumble something, the words getting lost in themselves. It’s impossible to think with John in your space like this. It’s only when he finally pulls away and ambles back to his truck that you rock back on your heels, let go of whatever spell he had you under.

The first week of December hits town like a truck.

You’re trudging home alone after your shift when you make the decision to cut through the forest because you missed the last bus and you don’t want to spend an hour walking home. The first snow of the season has caught you off guard, clad in boots too autumnal and a sweater too thin for the biting cold. The flakes fall in thick chunks that stick for a brief moment before melting into the skin.

It’s not the first time you’ve travelled through the forest alone. The town is surrounded by pockets of the forest, like it can’t help enveloping whatever space is left for it. Oftentimes it’s easier just to cut through the woods rather than travel the long way around. You wouldn’t even call this the forest proper, not like the acres of trees sprouting over the mountains just off in the distance.

A bush rustles. Your eyes flick over for a second, breath hovering in your chest before you decide that it’s just a squirrel. Nothing ever happens in a town like this. The man from the other day notwithstanding, nothing truly bad ever happens. You keep walking down the partially demarcated path, lit only by the full moon overhead. It’s so dark that the snow around you is almost blue.

The bush rustles again. You stop this time, feet staying planted in the snow long enough for your feet to grow cold. You stare at the dark shoots covered in a layer of snow; it stripes the branches like candy from a time ago, licorice twisted with white bark, and it doesn’t move when you look at it. The bushes and trees are dense, impossible to peer through. Even walking through the forest doesn’t make you feel immersed in it. You follow a barely marked path, hard to see through the recent snowfall, and stare out into the dark woods with a kind of animal sense. Not sure whether you’re alone, whether something’s there with you, and whether it’s sensed you or if you’ve sensed it first.

You start walking again when your feet go numb. Better to just get home.

It comes behind you again as a slightly louder rustle. It’s harder to shake off the fear this time, harder to say that it’s just the wind. The snow crunches under more than one set of feet, branches cracking under the weight of something larger than you.

You don’t want to turn around, but the sound of something chuffing makes your stomach drop. The first thing that emerges when you turn to face it is its massive head, a white frosted muzzle, and the visible hump on its back. The wispy smoke of its breath puffs out when it breathes. Its eyes are dark, hardly reflecting any light at all. Then the rest of it emerges, the saplings bending out of its way as it clambers out of the woods and onto the path, staring you down all the while.

You’ve never seen a bear before. Not this close. Not so close that you know it’s been stalking you, know that it didn’t come upon you by accident. You’re staring down at your own body from somewhere else, fear displacing you. Rending you from your own body. There’s no way to guess its weight at a glance, but it’s easily twice the size of you, easily more than that.

When it takes a step forward, everything goes dark.

You wake up snuggled under the warmth of a thick blanket. Sleep is creamy thick, engulfing you on all sides, only the faintest prickle of awareness letting you know that you’re awake.

It’s unpleasant to leave the cotton miasma of sleep, you think. Your nose scrunches up and you let out a tired huff, trying to will yourself back into it. The harder you try to force yourself back into it though, the farther away it floats.

Still it weighs you down. It takes an age to work up the energy to so much as twitch a finger. Even your eyelids insist on staying shut. Yet, the prickle of consciousness needles at you as if to say hello, wake up, you need to get up. You sigh and try to shimmy up onto your elbows.

A hand shoves you back down. The breath rushes out of you.

“Get…back down,” a rough voice grunts from over you and then the full weight of a man settles on top of you, pressing you deep into the mattress.

Consciousness snaps back into you, elastic sharp. The weight of him pins you to the bed, makes you sink into the plushness of—and this is gradually coalescing in your mind—an unfamiliar place. All four corners of your body are trapped under him. The voice is familiar though. Ragged, brutal. A saw taken to the trunk of an old, thick tree, too many interior rings to count. You whisper John’s name and he grunts, making you flinch from how the sound reverberates through the side of your head.

Exhaustion is thick though and it leaves you heavy, even when John slowly lifts himself to his elbows from behind you. You feel him drag his body down the length of the bed, beard scratching into your skin with every petal soft kiss dropped along your spine during his descent.

“John?” you whisper, only just able to turn your head, not even able to struggle up to your elbows. “J-John?”

He doesn’t answer you. The room is near pitch black, only a window on the other end of the room with the curtain pulled back the smallest amount enough to let the moonlight in. Even the moonlight isn’t enough. You know from the shape of the window that this isn’t your house, that it must be somewhere else. You can only surmise from John’s presence that it’s his, but that thought passes over you like a rock skipping over water.

“Wher’m’I?” you murmur, eyes fluttering shut when his lips press over the small of your back. Sensitive there.

Rough hands with callused fingertips smooth over your ass, pressing into the flesh. His fingers pry your cheeks apart, thumbs dipping into the space between and pressing over your hole, making you burn all over. You’re too far gone to worry about any hair on your legs or anything about your body other than John’s hands undulating over your ass and thighs. You flinch violently when his teeth sink into the meat on the underside of your ass, so tender that even exhausted to the bone your body lashes out.

Big hands pry your legs apart. You flinch at the sudden hot breath over your sex, a whine tickling your throat. His face hovers so close to your centre that the tip of his nose presses on the tender skin near your entrance.

“Wha’ d’you…think you’re doin’...” you ask breathlessly. Your brain tries to order your leg to kick, but it stays flat and limp on the bed.

The first touch of John’s tongue along your slit makes you melt, the flat of his tongue lapping upward and making your hips tilt up with it. It almost makes your mind go blank again, almost tips you back into the unconscious world because the synapses in your brain stop firing the second you remember that it’s John between your legs licking hungrily at your cunt. John from the grocery store, John from the ranger’s station in the mountains—the John you’ve been crushing on and coveting for months now, content to just be friends with the gruff, handsome man in the house next to yours. Now sucking one of your nether lips into his mouth and tracing his tongue up the inside, gliding it over the supple flesh.

“Yer in the den,” John mumbles into your pussy and it’s like he sears the words into your brain. “‘N I’m takin’ care of you, honey.”

“The…the den…?” It’s so hard to keep your thoughts in order. Each flick of his tongue makes you gasp, pussy growing wetter and hips grinding languidly down on his face.

He hums instead of answering.

“Why’m’I so tired?” you slur.

His tongue saws over your clit from behind. It tears a broken whimper from you. You feel every textured ridge, the way it flicks around in a circle and then up and down again.

“Winter season,” John says, sucking your clit into his mouth until you whine at the top of your lungs. “Bear’s sleep in winter.”

“Tha’s silly. M’not a bear,” you moan.

“No,” he agrees, humming into your sex. “Jus’ mated to one. Makes you sleepy too, honey.”

“Mated?” you repeat back, but it’s lost in the way you moan when he eats your pussy from the back, licking into you with renewed vigour. Hungry like a bear. Grunting like a satisfied man, slurping loud enough to make your face heat up.

Words and old memories about bears hardly matter when the handsome man from next door spreads your legs wide, almost to the point of pain, and sinks his tongue into your hole again. You never would’ve expected John to be vocal, but he’s noisy behind you, groaning into your cunt. He keeps mumbling things under his breath that you can’t catch.

“John—” you gasp, biting your lip when he sucks your clit into his mouth again. “John—John—”

He only has to give you a single finger to tip you over the edge, feeds it in nice and slow. Your cunt clenches down at the intrusion, teeth nearly breaking through the skin of your lip.

When he crawls back over you, anticipation makes you shudder. You hear something faint in the background that grows steadily louder as John rests his elbows on either side of your head, until you realize that it’s your own voice murmuring, “Put it in, put it in, put it in—”

He obliges. A thick, steady plunge that hardly manages more than a handful of inches before you’re crying, and it’s too much, too much, too much. Pleasure not a limpid pool anymore but something cavernous and deep-dwelling, pulling you in or trying to make a home inside of you for it. John’s biceps tense with the strain of holding himself back.

You balance on the knife’s edge between pleasure and pain. There’s a single thought in your head that it might burn you up from the inside; it runs a jagged hole through you.

His nose drags through your hair. “Never expected you. Thought I’d go another season alone ‘till I started smellin’ you around town.”

You hiccup. “Y’never—never paid me any attention ‘for— before, ah—”

“‘Course I paid attention to’ya, honey,” John says into your ear, grunting when he drives deeper into your pussy, still just a languid grind of his hips, so mind-numbingly slow that your thoughts sizzle out of your head. He keeps dragging his hips back and plunging in, barely pulling away from you, all skin on slick skin. “Made a home for m’self in your house. Made sure we had ‘nough to eat for the winter.”

“The winter?”

“Won’t be goin’ anywhere for a few months.” He brushes your hair out of the way to kiss down your neck, giving in to the urge to bite just a little. His body stays pressed tight to yours, hardly an inch of space between the two of you. “Wasn’ sure at first if it’d be here or in your house so… fuck, I had to get ready. Make sure you’d be safe when it hit.”

“Don’ even…know wha’ that means,” you mumble into the mattress, then squeal and fist the fists when John shoves a hand under you to grope your chest.

“Don’t worry about it,” he shushes you. “All y’have to do now is lie there ‘n take my cock, okay, honey? Can’ya do that for me? I’ll get some food in you after we’re done, then send ya back to bed.”

Only a whine comes out when you open your mouth. John’s arm by your head forces you to breathe in the scent of him, musky and rich. You stare at the hair on his knuckles and his thick fingers gripping the sheets as well, old nicks and scars decorating his hand. You can’t stop staring at his fingers and thinking that he had one of those in you before, that he’s felt you from the inside.

He never pulls away, never changes positions, just fucks you on your tummy in his bed. You’ve never been in John’s bedroom before, but this has to be his room—even the pillowcase smells like him, pine needles and cigar smoke. He keeps up a steady pounding into your cunt, rutting like a wild animal. Has to be close. Gets so close to you that you feel smothered, trapped in place. Like if you struggled, he wouldn’t let up. You want to test it, see if you could, but the heaviness is still in your limbs, keeping you docile. Convenient. A little convenient thing for him to use, like a doll to get himself off with.

“Never coulda imagined such a pretty girl f’r me,” John groans, getting a grip in your hair to twist your head, tugging you into a kiss. Your whole body sparks to life, so shocked that you can’t even kiss him back at first. You wait until he pulls back, staring into his half-lidded eyes through the mess of your hair all tangled up around you. “Gave up on thinkin’ there was anyone out there. Thank fuck I found you first, honey. Can start workin’ on all the good stuff now. Get you to give daddy a baby.”

“D-daddy?” you gasp back, almost scandalized.

He pants into your shoulder, worked up now. “Yeah, honey. Don’ I take care of you? Buy y’r food, fix y’r house? Give you someplace nice ‘n warm to sleep?”

You feel soaked with sweat, twitchy, on the verge of something dangerous. Vision all fogged up, heart beating so fast that your skin buzzes. Stretched out on a fat cock and pinned in a man’s bed, nowhere to run or hide.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter when John gets a bit rougher, his breathing getting more staggered, laboured.

“That’s right, girl,” he grunts, “I’m y’r fuckin’ daddy then, aren’t I?”

Magma bubbles up from deep inside of you. Rockslides off in the distance beat against the ground. When you cry out, it gets lost in the rubble.

You stumble into the living room maybe hours later after using the washroom across the hall. Maybe a day later. It’s hard to say how many times the sun has risen and fallen behind the mountains. The clock face stares back at you uncomprehendingly.

Come drips out of you onto the floor. Thick droplets run down your inner thighs. John is still sleeping in the bed where you left him, snoring like a chainsaw. It must’ve been what woke you up. There’s no way of knowing how long it’s been since he first brought you home, since he left a mess in your pussy, which is still puffy and sore from rough use. You walk with halting little steps to try to minimize the ache.

You stare bleary-eyed around the room. It feels somehow different than the previous times John’s had you over; there are more throws and blankets draped over the couch, candles scattered around the living room with a lighter on the mantle.

There’s a fire roaring in the fireplace, blanketing the house in a layer of warmth. It makes you sluggish, stumbling forward only a handful of steps before the shaggy rug in front of the fire drags you back down to the floor.

“What’re you doing out of bed, pretty girl?” someone rumbles from behind you.

“Had t’pee,” you say, blinking. You try to rub the sleep out of your eyes unsuccessfully. “Why’m’I still so tired? It’s been…I slept so long…”

“C’mon, honey,” John says, coming up behind you and curling his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Told you it was gonna be a long winter. Maybe just one more and then somethin’ to eat, okay?”

It’s easy to sink to the floor, so easy. Especially with the fluffy rug under your feet. Especially with the fireplace toasting you from the outside in, the tinder crackling in the hearth. Everything in the house is dark and warm, only the fire giving you any light at all. Outside the window, the moon is still heavy in the sky.

Something about the humidity of the den makes you suddenly so tired, boneless, pliable when he goes to move you, when John curves himself around you in the furs and reaches down to slide a hand between your thighs.

He grunts when he finds you wet and wanting, sinking a couple fingers in and palming your clit. He doesn’t talk much still, but he says good girl when he cants your hips and slowly stretches you out on his cock. Feeds it into you achingly slow, like molasses. Like nothing’s due for another few months, so why rush it? He’ll take his time so you’re nice and happy and sweet come spring for cubs.

You’re not sure what that means. The pace is slow and deep, like before but less intentional. Like he just wants to savour the warmth of your body.

When he finally comes deep inside you, your body goes limp, collapsing in a heap onto the rug. You expect John to pull out and turn over, maybe pull you onto his chest so you have somewhere to rest. Instead, he sighs all tired and content, and stays in you, still plugged up in your cunt, his spend only just starting to leak out into a pool beneath you.

“Are we gonna eat?” you mumble, already half-asleep.

Somewhere behind you, he laughs; it’s soft like a snowfall in winter. “Yeah, honey. After a nap, we can eat.”

#ceil writing #cod mw2 #cod x reader #captain price #captain john price #cod price #john price #price/reader #price x reader #price x you #john price x reader

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actual-changeling · 1 year ago

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we do not talk enough about the moment right before crowley puts his sunglasses back on. the "nothing lasts forever" is devastating and if you're like me your eyes were so full of tears you couldn't see the screen the first time you watched it (just like crowley, look at us all twinning in sadness!).

there is a shift that happens in his eyes and i think it is absolutely fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.

we begin with crowley averting his gaze from aziraphale's face and staring off into the distance instead, and you can see his spirit break. that crowley just lost the one thing in the world he cannot live without and we can see it written across his face like a neon sign.

then, as you'd expect, he gives into the need to cover up his pain, to try and make himself less vulnerable, and even before he lifts his glasses he looks down so aziraphale can no longer see his eyes.

now, the next part is what would not let me out of its grasp all day. we know it happens because of his demeanour afterwards and up until the kiss, but you can actually watch as crowley makes himself numb to the world.

i am intimately familiar with dissociation as a trauma and stress response, and while you can never fully control it, you do eventually find the switch in your mind that makes you snap back into the haze. crowley has had six thousand years to get really, really good at leaving reality behind when he needs and/or wants to.

that's exactly what he does.

he still looks sad, and yet there's just something distinctly distant in his eyes, the shift from openly heartbroken to "i don't want to feel any of this let me leave".

glasses? on

emotions? off

hotel? trivago

i have stared at those four frames more than any person probably should and i don't know if it's the light, if i am going insane, or if there is a single tear sliding out of his right (our left) eye. i'm probably insane and the light is a bitch so if anyone has some high resolution shots or anything that could answer that question without a doubt PLEASE do add it.

by now you are probably ready to threaten me with a knife in a dark alley but before you do that or drive your car off a cliff, let me tell you the best part:

aziraphale notices.

they might be communicating on two different frequencies but aziraphale knows crowley. he knows and loves him, and, most importantly, over the last few years he has gotten used to seeing crowley without his glasses. aziraphale could probably write a book on the expressions in his eyes alone and watches that shift happen and is devastated.

look.

he tries to make himself hope the same second, tries to convince himself crowley is putting on his glasses so they can leave together, but he knows.

aziraphale sees the light leave crowley's eyes, sees crowley leave, knowing that he is quite literally running away from him. you and me against the world, angel, but in that moment crowley firmly pushes him back to "the world" (or tries to, anyway).

the entire season we see crowley take off his glasses whenever he enters the bookshop to the point where he's running around without them on in broad daylight with jimbriel right there.

can you imagine how hurt and confused aziraphale must be?

because what crowley is telling him, if we really, really break it down, is that aziraphale is no longer a safe person for him. and repairing that trust is going to take time and work, no matter how much crowley loves him, how badly they love and need each other.

anyway to seal this off and really rub in the pain - how it started vs. how it ended. <3

oh one last thing: now crowley no longer has a single person he can be himself around, no one that knows him, no one he trusts. no one in whose presence he can take his glasses off.

and outside of the bentley and his own flat, he no longer has a place to do so either. the bookshop was theirs. with aziraphale gone, is it really a safe place anymore? is it somewhere he can just let himself be knowing he will be looked after and protected?

easy answer: no.

alright, off i go. see y'all on the next angst post or in the tags.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen #good omens meta

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chriscamopants · 3 months ago

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TEEDY BEAR

Summary: after a visit to see your neighbour Darrel’s new born baby girl, Matt is so in awe of her that he decides to exercise an age old kink he has on you later that night.

‘Oh- my god’ Matt squeaks with his mouth parted slightly and a twinkle in his eye as soon as your neighbour’s baby girl is dropped into his awaiting arms. The pastel pink blanket swaddled around her squirming body falls gently over Matt’s cradling hand, he automatically starts to bounce her.

This almost makes Matt swoon. He struggles to hide his peep of delight at the baby’s action, his smile splitting his cheeks whilst his eyes quickly flick down to yours.

You smile happily up at him, knowing how long he had been waiting to see your neighbour Darrel’s newborn. As soon as you told him Darrel’s wife had birthed a healthy baby girl he had constantly been pestering and poking you to take him to go and see her.

He had been talking about it all morning and as soon as you two had entered the threshold of Darrel’s house he had been practically bouncing off of the ceilings to have a go at holding her.

‘So I take it Lily didn’t disappoint your expectations then?’ Darrel chuckles whilst Matt slowly rocks the blanketed baby from side to side, looking at her with an adoration that only comes from a man that wants one of his own. He then repositions her within the nest of his arms so that he can lift one of his hands up to poke his pointer finger out.

‘Ahw she’s so small’ he coos in disbelief.

Softly feathering his fingertip against Lily’s little appled cheek, he traces it around her soft skin, tickling her face until her nose scrunches and she opens her mouth to babble sleepily.

‘Isn’t she just’ Darrell sighs.

Matt felt as though he could just melt into a puddle of pink joyful goo, he never wants to let go of the small child, he’s in too much admiration over how little she is.

The tiny pink shells of her lips, her soft head of blonde hair, and her whispy little eyelashes. All of these features make him subtly glance back down to you, his sweetly mature girlfriend. He bites his lips at the ‘what if?’ possibilities he fantasises in his head.

It’s almost concerning how easy it is for Matt to imagine Lily as his own baby girl gently balanced within his protective arms like a smooth little pebble worth treasuring. He utterly adores her as he stands in his white sweater and grey beanie, the weight in his arms as light as a feather.

When a person wants something, it’s easy to tell, because when you look at what you want there always seems to be this sharp tug in your gut that lets you know how desperately you want it.

Well… Matt’s heart squeezes, and his gut contorts at yet again another action of the sweet baby girl within his arms mumbling and then tilting her head to the side so that she can snuggle further back into the blanket surrounding her.

Matt really fucking wanted a baby.

‘She really is’ you decide to chime into the conversation, agreeing with an awestruck Matt that looks as though he’s on the verge of tears because of how cute Lily is. You know that Matt absolutely adores children, so the sight alone of his sunny beam down at Lily’s chubby face makes your posterior soften. You blush at the look of him effortlessly cradling the baby within his arms before subtly squeezing your thighs together and biting your lip.

Fuck.

This shouldn’t make you throb in between your legs as much as it does.

‘Oh that reminds me, Matt and I thought it would be nice to buy Lily a little welcome home present…’ you begin again, trying to distract yourself by catching Darrel’s attention. You lean over from your position on the couch to riffle around in your bag, until you find what you’re looking for. ‘Ah, here it is!’ you mumble triumphantly and wrap your fingers around the soft furry body of the little teddy bear Matt had insisted on buying for Lily.

‘Can we please get her a teddy’ he had begged you the day before, with sparkling eyes and a pout that you just couldn’t refuse.

So you had both gone down the stuffed animal isle of a store and Matt had let you pick out a small brown bear with beady black eyes and a button nose before taking it with him and happily going off to pay for it whilst instructing you to go and wait for him in the car.

Later that day you had wanted to personalise it and so decided to go to the dollar store and pick up a roll of pink ribbon, cutting off a strip and tying it around one of the teddy’s arms into a sweet little bow.

Your smile only increases the more you pull it out of the bag because of just how adorable it is. You had been itching to give it to Darrel for a while now.

As soon as he realises what it is, his eyes soften. ‘Oh goodness, you two didn’t have to do that, it’s lovely…’ he gushes, reaching out to take the teddy bear from your offering palms, to which Matt can’t help but crack a smile at your pretty face.

He cuts into Darrel’s rambling to put him at ease. ‘It’s alright- we wanted to do this for you guys, Lily deserves all of the teddies in the world! Don’t you honey?’ He affirms, before cheesing as he looks down at Lily to speak to her in a high-pitched babied voice, the kind of voice you would use when speaking to a puppy.

‘Really. It’s very nice of you, I’m sure Lily will love it… might have to wait till she gets a bit bigger to actually understand what it is though…’ Darrel cracks a joke, and both you and Matt laugh fondly. However, the vibrations in Matt’s chest manage to wake Lily up, and she opens her big doe eyes sleepily to look up at Matt in confusion.

This catches Matt’s attention and he gazes down at her, admiring the glassiness of her irises before gently shushing her and rocking her back to sleep.

‘Well what d’ya know Matt… you’re a natural, mind babysitting with your girlfriend every once in a while? Could use the help’

Both you and Matt make excited eye contact, not much persuasion needed to take special care of the tiny little angel lying in Matt’s arms.

‘We wouldn’t mind at all Darrel…’

You and Matt have been quietly laying in bed for a while now, one of his bedside lamps twinkling on a low setting as he sleepily rests his head on top of yours. He spoons you, his warm chest cozy and his bigger arms cocooning you into him further as his massive palms splay about either side of your ribcage.

You have your eyes closed, fully relaxed as Matt threads his haired legs in between your smoothened ones, his bearded face scratching your cheek every single time he squirms around ever so slightly to reposition himself.

The room is silent aside from the subtle squeaks of his springy mattress underneath his weight and each of your gentle breaths mingling with one another.

Suddenly Matt’s chest expands, and he heaves a deepened sigh, his cheeks reddening shyly at the thought he conjures up in his mind. He’s suddenly really quite horny, and the quietness within the room prompts him to start thinking about the hold he currently has over your body, and what he could be doing to it instead.

The atmosphere in the room turns hot, and Matt almost starts to overheat because his cheeks burn so much. He swallows thickly and allows his mind to wander, electrical pulses making their way down his lower half and tightening up his pants.

You of course, are oblivious to this sudden change in mood.

That is, until Matt starts to feather one of his stroking hands down your torso ever so slightly. It tickles, and his hand raises goosebumps wherever it touches, especially when his pinkie subtly nestles its way into the top of your panties, dipping downward before pulling back out and snapping the elastic waistband onto your skin suggestively. You catch on to this and furrow your brows with playful suspiciousness.

‘Matt… what are you doing?’ You muse cheekily, already clearly know what his intentions are because now you can feel his prick, its thickness hard and needy for you as it presses into your backside.

Matt doesn’t answer, instead lets out a shaky breath and simply leans his scratchy face back into your cheek to press a spongy kiss onto the now pink skin.

As he does this, the hand down at your core sensually slides over your underwear.

Matt bites his lip as he feels warm dampness already emanating from your centre when sliding two of his fingers down into the cushion of your thighs.

He touches you, slowly, teasingly, rubbing the pads of his fingers in a circular motion as he presses them into your clothed clit. This makes your folds ache, and you hiss, arching your back away from him. But Matt grunts at this and still manages to keep his torturous hand all over you, his other arm tightening around your torso and hauling you back to him aggressively.

‘Shhh, you stay put now angel’ he hushes, mumbling into your skin as you whine meekly, one of your hands coming up to squeeze the arm that is slithered around your chest whilst the other one grapples to grip onto something below Matt’s silky brown sheets. That thing you yearn to grab onto just so happens to end up being Matt’s thigh, that is clothed in his red pyjama bottoms.

You squeeze his strong muscle and feed your bottom lip into your mouth to bite it.

You then feel his smirk on your cheek as his hand begins the horrifying descent back upwards. This time, it slips underneath your underwear. ‘If you can’t hand my fingers I dread to think of how much of a mess I’m gonna make of you with my cock…’

Your breath hitches as two of his fingers slide right down your sticky slit, gathering up as much wetness as he can before stretching out your hole. This time instead of hissing, you let out a breathy moan.

‘What? Not got anything to say back to me baby?’ He taunts you when you refuse to even think about trying to formulate a proper sentence after the soft curl of his fingers around your velveteen walls. He strokes them at a languid pace.

Matt sighs when all you do is breathe heavily, ‘you’re so soft around my fingers honey… gonna feel so fucking nice around my cock too, aren’t you?’.

Your toes curl at Matt’s sweetened praise, his worship of your physicality smelling like strong vanilla scented candles and melting over your body like a dollop of sugary ice cream.

Matt loves to praise you, you’re always so good for him, and he would spend hours with his head in between your thighs just to show you how much he loved you if he could.

Kiss after kiss, his tongue layering up your dripping centre as he forces his fingers into your mouth to swallow how loud you’re being with his eyes constantly trained on just how euphoric he’s making you feel.

‘Fuck- y-yes Matt, m’always ready for you…’

You finally muster the words to express how you’re feeling, and they tumble from your mouth like a broken melody, the result of them making Matt grin even harder. He’s feeling especially bold tonight, the memory of bouncing Lily on his hip still fresh in his mind and prompting him to relay his fantasy freely onto your awaiting figure.

Suddenly, he’s sliding his fingers out of their teasing hold over your sopping wet cunt, before moving away from you and rolling you onto your back.

Matt hungrily licks away at his fingers whilst doing this, wanting to taste you whilst you’re at your freshest and untainted by him.

The sight before him makes his prick drip with precome, sticky white fluid uncontrollably seeping from out of his tip as soon as he catches how pink and alive you look. It wets his underwear and almost makes him shiver, the thought of devouring you right then and there.

Sliding your shirt up for himself, he peers down at your tits to see that your nipples have already hardened just for him, the cooler air helping with their stiffness. Matt’s mouth waters at the sight of them.

‘Hmm, holding that baby today really got me thinking about how pretty you’d look with one of mine…’ he breathlessly mumbles, dipping his head down to suck on your bottom lip. His hands soon after slip up to cup just beneath your tits that pebble and ache to be coated in his spit.

You utter a quick whine of approval back at him, your own hands trailing up his goose-bumped flesh to touch the soft scruffiness of the hair on the back of his head.

He smirks at your responsive nature. ‘Yeah? Want me to give you my babies? Fucking fill you up and keep my cock in there n’breed you?’.

Matt’s cock throbs at even the thought of this, the thought of rutting his hips into you so fast that you start to drool with your tits shaking and your back arching for his cum. The cum that he’s going to have you absolutely swollen with by the end of the night. He doesn’t want a single drip leaking out of your hole, he’ll cockwarm you if he has to, simply to hold it in there with his own slickness.

‘Please Matt… you can- you can do whatever you want to me’ you shamelessly plead, the heat between your thighs juicing up and wetting your panties, already readying you for him. He smirks at this, his pretty blue eyes twinkling as he gives your mouth one more sloppy kiss before moving downward.

‘Fucking gorgeous’ his mouth muffles upon contact of your tits as soon as he decides to take one of them into his mouth and wetly kiss on it ‘gorgeous tits… all for me yeah? All mine?’ He questions possessively, one of his hands curling around your spare breast and squeezing it wholeheartedly.

‘All yours Matt- all fucking yours’ you reply in a breathless stupor, liking the way he sucks your tit and gently rolls around your nipple with his hot tongue.

‘These tits gonna be for my baby hm?’ He questions patronisingly after pulling away from your now sticky skin, a couple of purpling marks bruising to the surface of your delicate flesh where his mouth just hadn’t been able to help itself.

Your back arches and you hum a whine in agreement, vigorously nodding your head before letting Matt roll you two around so that now your thighs are gently straddling him and he is leaning against the headboard of his bed, the silk sheets underneath you two making him slump downwards a little.

Wanna make you a mommy so bad… would you do that for me? Take all of my cum and keep it? I want you to be selfish with it baby…want you to be greedy for more of it’.

It’s no secret that Matt has a smooth tongue.

You two spend hours rolling around in the sheets, playing with each other as he makes sure to utilise it in whatever way he possibly can. But, for some reason his words have been hitting extremely different tonight. As though he has flipped a switch and pulled out all of the stops to lay it on extra thick.

Clearly, that time with you and Lily earlier had affected him in the most filthiest of ways.

Matt has shared words of breeding you before, but never to this extent, and you hate to admit it, but fuck does it soak you more than usual. Maybe just both of you being around the baby this morning makes it all seem extra real as he starts to roll your hips into a grinding motion over his bulge, but whatever it is, it’s working.

Both of you hold blushing eye contact as Matt does this, his mouth hung open and his eyes dilated. Fuck. You can physically feel the throbbing heartbeat sitting from in between his legs as he harshly grinds you over himself and releases raggedy whimpers into the air. You can tell he’s pent up, he needs you terribly, he wants you selfishly. He would fucking die for a feel of your walls sucking against his naked skin, it’s all he’s ever yearning for.

‘I want your cum Matt… please- please give it to me’ you freely beg, your head tilted down to look at him as the heated atmosphere boils in between the two of you. Your tits quickly become a focal point of interest for him before you get up off of his lap to speedily take off your slick underwear.

You toss them somewhere into Matt’s room and hear the fabric hit the floor gently. Matt gazes at your frantic figure with some form of satisfaction, his smugness evident due to the way you had absolutely begged for his cum.

He tilts his head and observes the way you clamber back onto his thighs, your hair all tussled and your skin lighting up with honeyed brilliance in the warm lamp light, casting beautiful contours all over your tits.

‘There’s a good girl’ he quips, before giving in to your expectant hands that wander alongside the waistband of his pyjamas. He simply cannot resist your puppyish eyes that stare at him to take them off. He lifts his hips up and feeds one of his hands into both his pants and underwear that teasingly travel downwards at a slow pace.

After Matt’s cock springs free, it careens back to hit his stomach and leave a wet dribble of precum near his dark snail trail. His tip is red and the veins popping over his thickness almost hurt to look at.

You swallow and start to shyly edge your way forwards, but not before leaning over to look inside of his bedside drawer. Your attention is focused on trying to rifle around Matt’s things, but he only has eyes for you, and can’t help but quickly lift his hand up to his lip line so that he can spit a thick dollop of saliva onto it.

He spreads it all over his cock and whimpers a little at how sensitive he feels whilst your hand skirts over the outline of his car keys, his rings, his wallet… until you find exactly what you’re looking for. Selecting a foil wrapper out of the drawer you messily close it once again with your chest heaving and a dewy layer of perspiration coating it.

Your weepy centre stings now, because it hasn’t been touched for a while, and you can’t squeeze your thighs together for traction because you’re currently straddling Matt’s.

You hand him the condom wrapper and he closes it within his thumb and pointer finger, before looking down at it in contemplation. After taking about 3 seconds of silence, he looks back up at you with a smirk, your hands already propped up on his shoulders for support.

You watch in horny silence as Matt effortlessly chucks the condom away. ‘We’re not gonna need one of those’ he quips as the wrapper patters gently to the mattress, now completely forgotten about in favour of Matt wanting to feel everything.

You didn’t think it was even possible to get wetter in attraction, but you were wrong.

Butterflies press against your gut as one of Matt’s hands slither up to the back of your neck. His fingertips thread into your locks and he gets a firm hold over the roots of your hair before dragging you down to have your lips on his once again.

He forces his tongue into your mouth, his desperation present with every stuttering moan he takes as he somehow manages to push you onto your back, his torso toppling over yours to change the power dynamic between the two of you once more. His fluffed hair is ruffled and bushy, his beard dark and prickly as it scrapes against the skin of your face with every twist of his tongue.

‘Always so pretty when you’re wet for me sweetheart, want my baby to have your eyes’ he mumbles through every clash of your teeth, kissing you so vigorously that sometimes he has to bite and pull on your bottom lip. He drinks you like he’s desperate for water, and you’re the only cold spring around- not that you complain though.

These thoughts only make your back arch up into his stomach, your core beyond desperate to be stretched out by him now.

‘Matt… please touch me baby- m’so sore’ you cry up into his lips, meekly pleading for him to comply and give you what you need.

And he does. Pulling away he smirks at you before trailing his nose down your jaw and focussing his kisses onto your neck. He sucks on the supple flesh there, and as he does so, makes sure to grasp ahold of his prick so that he can paint it all the way over your pink clit.

You suck him in, and his hot skin cushions perfectly around you.

He fucking loves stretching you out like this and listening to the way you let out mangled sounds of discomfort, it lets him know he’s big and it strokes his ego when you whine in pain because of how full you feel.

‘Shit… I’m never gonna get used to that…’ your voice shakes with your nose scrunching up sensitively, but Matt hushes you gently. ‘Shhh baby… I know, I know it hurts, but you’re being such a good girl, love when you let me know how nice and thick I am’.

You nod, trying to only pay attention to the way Matt soothingly strokes the backs of your thighs with his fingertips as he pushes himself deeper into your throbbing heat.

Matt makes sure to hitch them around his hips and hook your legs over his back so that the balls of your feet can brush against his ass, because it stretches your inner thighs out further.

Matt fucking lusts the colour your cheeks turn whenever he fucks you, especially on a day like today. He groans as an overwhelming amount of pleasure overcomes him.

Neither of you are lasting long for this, that he already knows.

‘Fuck- I’m never wearing a condom again with you. You feel too good wrapped around me like this’ he whimpers, and slowly begins to start up a grind. He adores the way your chin falls back in euphoria as he starts to move you on the mattress, your thighs twitching and your slick walls stroking perfectly against his stickiness.

Your eyes twinkle up at him, his words managing to almost melt you on the spot. It’s not long before he picks up the pace, his breathing rate increasing and becoming more of a breathless pant.

You almost drool at the speed of his frantic hips and can’t help but struggle a moan after every time you feel him press against your g-spot.

‘Fuck baby… if you’re not careful imma hide your birth control pills n’breed you properly. I’ll tie you up and keep you in here until I’ve fucked you enough to see that baby in your stomach’.

Matt is 100% serious at this statement. The feeling of not wearing a condom with you easily becomes one of his new favourite things as he gets drunk on the oxytocin it gifts him.

Tears almost stream from your waterline at the statement, your back now permanently arched and begging for his cum. It’s as if those words coated in pure filth just did it for you, because soon after they’re uttered and Matt reaches down to start playing with your clit, you feel an orgasm dawning over you.

It sparks and bubbles like an undulating wave that gets even stronger after every time it crashes against the walls of your gut. Your breath hitches.

‘Matt I- I think I’m gonna cum’ you struggle up to him, and Matt nods quickly, his mouth dropped open and his hips getting sloppier the more his skin erotically slaps against yours. ‘M-me too’ he stutters, his whole entire body drenched in the sweat of his efforts.

Your orgasm rattles from your stomach all the way to your ribcage, melting over your body like a psychedelic dream before you hear Matt also whimpering loudly into your ear. His forehead crashes down to hit against your collarbone and his arms shake as he too feels the phenomenal rush of his orgasm.

As he continually ruts his hips at a lazy pace, he makes sure to fill you up with all of his thick ropes of cum, the slimy hotness of it drenching both his cock and your walls with an ample amount. Finally, after feeling like he can go no more, his hips relax and slow to a stop.

Both of you pant tiredly as you trail one of your hands up to Matt’s head just so that you can appreciatively stroke it, his cock still comfortably stuffed inside of you.

As far as Matt’s concerned, he’s not moving it an inch because if he does, the cum still coated on it would come dripping out of your spent hole with part of it still strung onto his head and your folds like a string of saliva connected by two pairs of lips.

‘You keeping your cock in me?’ You muse to him sleepily, but with a tone of playfulness as you regain your breathing and stare up at Matt’s ceiling.

You can feel his gentle smile curling against your skin.

‘Wouldn’t want to get our cum all over my bedsheets now would we?’ He responds in just as playful a manner.

‘No, we wouldn’t…’.

oa: @gamermattsgf

966 notes · View notes

kentopedia · 10 months ago

Text

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ BLAME IT ON THE BLACK STAR — hayakawa aki

summary . . . maybe aki’s in the wrong for all the mixed signals he sends you, but it’s your fault for always picking up the phone.

contents . . . f!reader, angst, complicated relationships, smoking, miscommunication, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, ambiguous ending, hurt/comfort i suppose — 5.6k

notes . . . this is my first time writing for aki so pls be nice i’m nervous hdjwjwk <33 i’m not all the way caught up w csm so it might be inaccurate idk

Aki calls you, sometimes, when he’s feeling lonely. You figure, by now, he must have your number memorized, with how frequently your phone ends up ringing.

Of course, you always pick up, knowing you shouldn’t, knowing it’ll just end up hurting. But you can’t help yourself, really. You’re incredibly weak for a man that you know will never commit his life to you. You learned that lesson a long time ago.

Still, you’re a fool who refuses to move on.

Instead, you stand, shivering in the cold in front of Aki’s door, waiting for him to answer it. The lights are off in the apartment — you have no idea where his new roommates are for the evening, but they clearly aren’t there. Aki wouldn’t have called you otherwise; you’re certain he doesn’t want anyone to know about the two of you, save for those that have known since the beginning.

Heavy footsteps pad across the floor, and then the lamp in the hallway flicks on, illuminating the threshold in a beam of yellow. The door unlatches, opening just a crack, as his blue eyes drift down to trail over you.

“You got here faster than I thought.”

“I’m freezing, Aki,” you say, pushing through the door. His palm falls away, rests at his sides. Its only eight o’clock, but he’s already in sweatpants, a loose sweatshirt hanging over his tall frame. Dark hair falls across his cheeks, still damp from his earlier shower.

“Sorry,” he says, shutting the door behind him. “I was in the bathroom.”

You don’t reply, and shrug your coat off instead, hanging it on the rack that is now full of jackets that don’t belong to him. But you’re barely able to get it onto the hook before Aki has a palm around your wrist, tugging you towards him, the smell of his body wash and shampoo lingering in a cloud around him.

A little welp of surprise leaves you as you spin around, nearly falling into his chest. Instead, you collide with his mouth, the heat already settling down on you as heavily as it always does when Aki is around.

He kisses you, long and hard, hungry for the taste of you, his head craned down to meet your height. For a moment, you let him. It’s sweet and familiar, all the things you’ve ever wanted.

In moments like these, you indulge in thoughts of a life where things are different. A life where Aki can greet you at the door, smile when you kiss him, instead of the pensive expression he always wears. A life where Aki doesn’t come home with new scars every few days, where he isn’t hell-bent on a goal you’re not sure he can ever achieve.

That dream of yours won’t ever become a reality, but it doesn’t stop you from savoring the taste of his mouth against your own — how much you’ve missed it, even when you shouldn’t.

When you’ve run out of air to breathe, you push him away, and Aki stands straight, blinking like he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.

“Not even going to offer to make me dinner?” you ask, keeping him at a distance. Although you meant for it to sound playful, teasing, it comes off full of a bitter resentment. Your face is probably drawn up into a scowl, even if you can’t see it.

Aki blinks, rubbing his forearm. His lips part, then he shuts them, furrowing his eyebrows together. “You said you were cooking — over the phone, you said you’d already eaten.”

“Well, at least you remember that.”

Confusion spreads even further, tighter, stretching to every corner of his expression. Aki’s hands twitch listlessly at his side, just as his mouth does. “Are you upset with me?” he asks, and you know he’s smarter than that, that he might not be the most sensitive to others’ emotions, but he is certainly no fool when it comes to yours. “If you didn’t want to come over tonight, I wasn’t forcing you.”

A laugh almost escapes you — instead, you muster up a cool grimace. Like you aren’t going drop everything for Aki every time he says I don’t want to be alone tonight.

Really, it was laughable how tightly he had you in the palm of his hand, and you can’t fathom that he would think otherwise. You’ve always done whatever he needed; given him whatever he wanted.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in the hospital?” you ask finally, swallowing back your annoyance as you gesture towards the bandage around his arm. It’s wrapped up tight, but the bandages are fresh, still a starched white.

His eyebrows tighten further. The air around him changes, even though his expression doesn’t. “Who told you about that?”

“Himeno.”

Aki purses his lips. “I didn’t realize you two were friends now.”

You did laugh then, shaking your head as you make your way into the living room, looking for any subtle changes in his apartment. There are new pairs of shoes that certainly don’t belong to him, a sweatshirt that looks about two sizes too small.

“I wouldn’t really say we’re friends,” you shrug, not bothering to look at him. The air in the room is somehow off-putting, and you take it in like it’s the first you’d ever seen of the place. “But how else am I supposed to find out if you’re still alive?”

You give him a sad little smile, and slowly, the irritation seeps out of his face, his shoulders slumping. He looks tired, then — far too old for a man that is still so young.

“It wasn’t that serious. I’m fine now, aren’t I?” Aki gestures to his arm, flails it wildly, as if to prove it’s still working properly. “Just a scratch.”

“It is serious. It’s serious to me,” you say, narrowing your eyes, and though his tone is warmer, he doesn’t smile at you, not like he used to. He maintains a vague air of surprise, while dampening any emotion that could cloud over his lack of understanding. It annoys you to no end, that he won’t let you see him.“I’m always worried about you, idiot. Don’t act like you don’t know how I feel about you.”

Aki blinks, then draws his lips together in a thin line, shaking his head. Although you were pointedly avoiding each other’s gazes, you could feel the tension drawing you together like a cord.

God, you missed him every time you were apart. You went to your regular job, thought all day about the man who would never love you like you loved him, wondering if he was okay, if he’d pick up the phone and call you again next week. Or if, one day, it would be Himeno instead, telling you that you’d never see him again — or, god forbid, Makima, with her careless tone of authority. That thought alone haunts you even with your eyes open.

But for now, it’s still Aki who calls you, and every time, you are overwhelming relieved to hear the sound of his voice again. Heavy tears always drop down your cheeks as you dig the phone into your ear, wishing that it was his mouth there instead, and wishing that those pretty blue eyes still looked at you with the same sort of softness they once had.

“I told you…” Aki begins sharply, but then he trails off, finally meeting your gaze. His features pinch once more, melodramatic, as he scans the sadness that you could never hide in your expression. “Damn it.” Car lights flash over his face through the window as someone drives past the apartment complex. The darkness of the room becomes even more evident when they disappear.

“I know,” you say, resigned, as you watch him scrub his hands over his face, and inhale heavily. It’s hard for you to keep your emotions from getting the best of you. “You’ve reminded me — many times. I know this doesn’t mean we’re back together. I know, Aki.”

His jaw parts, lips faltering at the beginning of a phrase. Despite his tall frame, he falters, looking so small, as sadness filters into the eyes that shine a deep navy in the shade of the evening. Beside him his fingers twitch, curling up into his palm, before he takes two long strides towards you.

The mere second it takes him to get there passes without your memory, and your back hits the door to his bedroom, softly, as he looms over you, fingers brushing your cheeks.

A thousand times you’ve been in this position, and it’s so familiar that your hand reaches up instinctively, splaying across his chest. Aki’s breaths leave him, deeply, expanding through his lungs before he exhales them across your cheekbones, oxygen splitting at the bridge of your nose. “What’s wrong?” you ask quietly, blinking up at him from under your lashes.

“That’s not what I meant.” His voice comes out on a hoarse whisper.

“Hm?” You dig your fingers into his sweatshirt, the material thick and warm. “What did you mean?”

Tenderly, his thumb brushes across the hollows of your cheek, the sharp bone that juts out. Aki’s fingertips are so rough and calloused, but that familiarity brings a sob out of you, your hands springing up to grab his wrists. “That I’m not fooling anyone,” Aki says, swallowing, eyes roaming all over your face. “That I can’t stay away from you, no matter how hard I try.”

Your lips part, but your breath is stolen away by another kiss, blanketing your mouth, warm and with an emotion that you’re certain you can taste. It takes you less than a moment for you to close your eyes, to relax into him as always, melt into his familiarity. The taste of the cigarettes he smokes lingers on his tongue, seeping deep into your own lungs.

As he bumps his nose with your own, you reach up, run your fingers through his hair, untangling all the knots that have accumulated since his shower. At the same time, Aki palms at the door behind you, not bothering to look up as he fumbles for the door handle, slipping it open.

Aki always kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll ever do it, struggling to unglue you from himself. He kisses you like he knows he’s going to leave again, and it might be for the very last time.

It’s a sickening emotion to live with, but you’ve accepted it all the same.

You ignore the feelings that never leave you alone when you’re with Aki, and stumble backwards into the room, feet catching under you. Although you nearly fall, Aki catches you, arms heavy around your waist, large palm spreading across your lower back.

“You’re so pretty,” he says, nearly carrying you to his bed. The two of you latch so tightly onto the other, that you will surely go tumbling down if either of you makes the wrong move. “I’ve never met anyone as pretty as you.”

“Aki,” you mumble, shaking your head. “I don’t want to hear that.”

He stumbles, and you do fall onto the bed, then, his heavy body on top of you, landing with a thud. But he’s careful to catch himself, to tuck his arms into the space beside you, as he kisses across your cheeks, down your neck, to your chest.

“Why?” he asks into your skin, voice low and rough. “You don’t think you’re pretty?” his tone is dry, sarcastic. Aki’s fingers fumble with the zipper on your jeans, slipping your pants off faster than you can inhale a fresh set of air into your lungs. “Want me to prove it to you?”

Despite your lingering resentment, you crack a smile, shift your hips so he can pull your bottoms off completely. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll fall in love with me again?” you say off-handedly, running your hands along the edge of his shirt, before slipping cold fingers under it. His skin is hot there, abdomen soft, muscle just as lean as it was last week, but stronger than when you’d first met him.

Aki’s eyes soften. “Why would I be afraid of a thing like that?”

You don’t like the double meaning in his words, and you don’t want to read into it. Instead, you pull Aki back down to your mouth, hoping he’ll take and take from you, even though he’s always one to give. The one who calls you, who needs to be inside of you, but won’t worry about himself until you’ve come apart at least once.

“Feels like it’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” he says, pushing your thighs further apart, muttering the words against your lips. His fingers graze the outside of your panties, as you slowly begin to wet them with desire that burns hot in your stomach. “I missed you.”

You feel his smile curl as he kisses across your chest, around your collarbones, and you sit up far enough to slide your shirt off. Aki does the same — there are fresh scars on his body, healing wounds. You can’t look at them for too long, before grief rises up in you, mourning a man that is not yet dead.

“Whose fault is that?” you ask bitterly, pushing the top of his head to sink him to your thighs. Instead, he takes his time pressing his mouth around your belly, swirling his tongue just past your hips.

A sigh leaves you, and you sink deeper into the mattress, eyes blinking closed. He’s so slow, so deliberate with every movement, like he’s been waiting all of this time just to lose himself in you. Ridiculous, really, considering that he could have you at anytime, and he knows it.

You’d hate him for it, for stringing you along like this, but that would be hypocritical, really. You’re the fool that continues to play the game.

Aki ignores your passing comment, squeezing your thighs as his face drifts down your body. His hair brushes against your bare skin, still a bit damp, but so soft, the scent of his soap so familiar you could pick out the shampoo with your eyes closed.

“Want my fingers or my mouth first?” Aki whispers into the inside of your thigh, kissing the delicate skin there as he looks up at you from under thick, black lashes. They flutter over his cheekbones, the hollows of his eyes, and he’s so pretty… it’s no wonder you’re so far gone for him. “Since you’re in such a mood tonight, I’ll let you choose.”

There’s a tiny smirk on his face, and even though you’re about to answer, Aki takes it upon himself to kiss your cunt through your panties, the fabric sticking to your skin.

“A-aki,” you stutter, caught off-guard, fingers lacing through his hair, nails scratching against his scalp. “You didn’t give me a chance to answer.”

He drags his tongue up your clothed cunt, wetting it even further, so you can’t tell if you’re soaked from his spit or your own arousal. “I picked instead. Like the way you moan when my mouth’s on you,” he says off-handedly, and heat rushes to your cheeks as you stare at the ceiling, still so shy when it comes to his dirty mouth. “No one’s here,” Aki continues, words vibrating against the bone, puffs of air drifting around your sensitive area. “Want you to be loud.”

A tiny laugh escapes you, but it is quickly stolen by a whimper as he sucks your clit into his mouth through the cotton of your underwear, an old pair that was anything but sexy. Although, you’ve known Aki for so long, been with him for so long, there’s never any reason to try and impress him.

“Feels good,” you say, closing your eyes as you rest on the pillow. Aki pushes his tongue against your hole, teasing. His fingers dig deeper into the flesh of your thighs, keeping them from locking around his head as you search for more friction. Your chest rises and falls with the heat of your breathing, but Aki doesn’t let you rub yourself against his tongue, doesn’t let you move much, really. “Aki,” you whine, and though there are times when he doesn’t let you get your way, this isn’t one of them.

“So impatient,” he says cheekily, but he slips your panties to the side, your cunt vulnerable to the frigid winter air. You shiver, and he sinks his tongue into you completely, the heat of it warming you as he swirls it inside, spreading you further open with his fingers.

Your body grows hot all over when Aki thrusts his tongue in and out of your aching walls, your juices seeping onto his tongue. He moves slowly, savoring every moment that you’re in his bed, even as you try to arch into him, speed him up so that you can orgasm faster. He’s right: you are impatient, because it’s been days since you’ve last felt him inside of you, and nothing feels as good as Aki’s thick fingers and cock.

His nose bumps your clit as he drags his tongue in a thick stripe up your cunt. A moan leaves you, and without thinking, you jerk your hips up, forcing them towards his face. The sound from your chest is so lewd, and you’ll feel shy about how loud you were later, but all you can think about is his mouth on you.

Aki smiles, kisses the inside of your thigh. When he lifts his head, the ache inside you burns deeper, the sight of him with saliva and fluid dripping down his chin almost too much for you to handle. “Taste so good,” he hums, massaging the skin around your knees, hoisting your calves up over his shoulder blades. “Think you can cum from just my tongue, baby? You’re so pent up, I don’t think you can last much longer.”

You whimper, pressing your heels into his back as Aki’s tongue resumes lapping up your cunt, long and hot, massaging the most sensitive spots inside of you. You can tell he’s hard, aching as he shifts his hips awkwardly, trying not to press them in the bed.

Aki picks up his speed, head bobbing slightly as the heat insides of you builds; normally, you would’ve lasted longer, but you can’t remember the last time you’ve even touched yourself, and your most recent orgasm must have been with Aki.

You don’t tell him when you’re close, but he already knows, sucking harder on your clit as you finally come, body jerking into him, walls spasming. Your eyes squeeze shut, and his name leaves your lips much quieter than he would’ve liked.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Aki says, tugging off his sweatpants, the only layer between you and his cock. His dark hair is slightly mussed from your fingers, the way you’d pulled at him, tried to guide him where you wanted him, even if he already knew. “So easy for you to get me hard, you know that?” His cock is leaking at the tip, desperate for release, and you haven’t even touched him yet. “Just the thought of you spread out like this is enough.”

A desperate whine leaves you, and you reach behind, unclasping the straps of your bra, the last remaining garment between you and Aki. He grins at that, his canines so sharp, teeth a little crooked, but the prettiest smile you’d ever seen because you see it so rarely.

“Gonna play with those pretty tits while I fuck you, baby?”

“Fuck, Aki, please,” you groan, reaching for him, pulling his mouth to your own. You kiss him hard, hoping that he knows you love him, and hoping that he feels guilty about that fact. “Want you inside me. God, I need you so bad.”

He presses his forehead to your own, lining his cock up with your entrance, the head prodding at your gaping walls. You get so sensitive, even from just one orgasm, that you wince a little bit. But the uncomfortable feeling eases as he presses into you, kisses you sweetly.

“Fuck, fuck,” Aki groans, biting down hard on your shoulder. “God, you’re so wet, so warm. You feel so good around my cock, baby. Such a pretty girl for me.”

Your nails dig into his back as he slides, slowly, out of you, before he thrusts back in, still not rough enough for your liking. Aki’s hair falls around his face, his mouth parting just a bit, focus dilating his irises. His biceps flex as he holds himself off the bed, snapping his hips into your aching cunt.

“H-harder,” you mumble, trying not to shout, to moan too loudly into the open air of the evening. Aki’s walls are far too thin, and his neighbors know who you are. The last thing you want is for them to see you as Aki’s fuck-buddy that moans like a bitch in heat. “Please, sweetheart.”

Aki groans, a deep sound that reverberates all the way from his chest down to his stomach. The affectionate name twists something up in him, and Aki thrusts his hips faster, kisses your forehead, your cheeks, any part of your skin that he can get his mouth on. His hair tickles your jaw, nose nudging against your face as he mumbles into your skin, “so needy, aren’t you? I want to take my time with you, and you just want to get off.”

“Can’t help it, Aki,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you buck your hips upward. “God, you feel so good, I lo—”

You stop the words from leaving your mouth, but Aki already knows. He’s known it for a while now, and you should be embarrassed by the fact that you can’t let him go.

Wide blue eyes stare back at you, full of something you can’t define, but still so soft as he pulls away. He draws you closer, slides your legs around his hips before pinning your own to the bed with large, heavy palms. Aki’s built with all lean muscle, and he’s so tall — so much taller than you that it’s easy to forget because he treats you so gently. Still, he blankets your body, makes you feel small in the nicest way.

Because you know that even though he can never commit his love to you, he’d never let anything — human or devil — lay a finger on you. You love him, you love him, you love him.

Aki follows your wishes, sinks faster inside of you as you exhale heavily. Your nails dig into his back so tightly that you start to worry you’ll break the skin. But Aki loses himself in the feeling of you, panting into your chest as he moves his hips.

“F-fuck,” he mutters, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m not going to last long inside you like this. Maybe I should slow down—”

“No, no, I’m close,” you stumble over your words, meeting Aki’s intense eyes, a thousand emotions relayed in them as he blinks at you. “It’s okay.”

“God,” he mutters, whispers the word between you, even though you’re certain he hasn’t believed in him for a while, and you’re not sure you do either. “I don’t deserve you.”

You wonder if Aki meant to say that at all, so you let it go, let the words exist between you as if they were never there at all.

His palm guides it’s way across your stomach, the touch featherlight, before he reaches for your breast, thumb flicking across your nipple. The nail catches, and you moan, almost there once more. Aki’s cock hitting all the right places, so much better than your own fingers.

“Aki,” you say his name over and over, your mind going numb from thinking about him.

“I know,” Aki mutters against your lips, hot air ghosting across them on his exhale. “You’re okay. Let go for me, baby. Did so good for me, want you to cum on my cock.”

His voice, so deep and rough in your ears, sends you over the edge, and a sound forces its way up your throat as you clench down on him, your cunt spasming from your orgasm. It hits you harder than you’d been anticipating, legs squeezing around Aki’s hips as you dig your toes into the mattress.

“There we go,” Aki wipes your hair away from your face, kissing your temples, so gently that you think you might cry. It’s not fair for him to be so sweet, so loving when you know he’s going to kick you out of his apartment before the night is over. “My pretty girl. Shit,” Aki mumbles, cursing lowly before pulling out of you, quick, and spilling into his palm. It takes him less than a stroke down the length of his cock, the thick cum spurting out, falling onto your hips, beside you on the mattress.

It’s not your mess to clean, though, and you can’t bring yourself to care. Breathing heavily, you watch Aki fumble for something on his nightstand, before he gives up, wiping his wet hand on the already soiled bedsheets. Then, he collapses down onto his side, staring, watching your chest rise and fall.

“Aki,” you say, turning away from his eyes to stare at the ceiling, the cracked plaster, stained from water leaks. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Silence falls across the room, and you can’t bear to look at him, refusing to see the indifference on his face. There’s nothing, he says nothing, before sitting back up, shuffling through the nightstand once more.

The beams of streetlights sway against his silhouette, encased in a beautiful swirl of purple and navy hues. His hair seems an even darker curtain, coiling around his jaw as he hides from you, hides the emotion that was less than evident on his face.

You sigh, and flip back on your side.

Aki takes a few drags of the cigarette, puffing them into the stale air. It reeks, probably, in the tiny bedroom, but all you can smell is the tangy scent of Aki’s soap, the lavender that lingers on his skin, the cleanness of the linens that have been recently washed. This apartment, sometimes, feels more like home than your lonely one does, even though being with Aki is almost like being on your own, sometimes.

“Those things are going to kill you,” you say under your breath, still fascinated by the way the smoke draws deep into his lungs, puffs out in a cloud, relaxes him easily. His veiny palms flex, long, slender fingers holding the cigarette between them.

Aki doesn’t laugh, but it’s close to one, a snort almost, as he breathes again. “Not like I’ll be alive much longer, anyway.”

“You sound like Himeno.”

“Do I?”

You sniff, and scoot up against the wall, sitting beside him. Despite your argument, you take the cigarette from him, smoke it yourself, and place your lips around the exact place where Aki’s had been. He watches with the same rapt fascination, blinking slowly, before staring at the ceiling as you had before.

It’s Himeno he should be with now, really. Another Devil Hunter. A woman he can fuck without getting his feelings all mixed up, someone who probably understands him better than you do. He’s never loved her like he loved you, and she wouldn’t take offense to it either, you think.

But it’s you he calls instead. It’s you who is too weak to leave.

“I’m sorry,” Aki whispers.

“So am I.”

You reach across him, press the cigarette into the ashtray and drop what’s left of it amongst the other ends. Aki’s fingertips dance along your spine as you do so, and you wish he wouldn’t touch you, wish he’d just kick you out of the bed, toss you out of the apartment, spit at you like you weren’t anything but a whore.

Instead, he kisses your shoulder, draws you in close, curls his tall frame around your body, and drags you back down into the bed.

It hurts more than you want to admit, because this is what you want. You’d truly go the rest of your life, never have sex with him again, if he’d always hold you like you meant something to him.

“I need to go home,” you say, remembering that you still haven’t eaten dinner, that you’d left your things in disarray, your clothes unfolded on your bed. There was never a reason to before, because with Aki, you’d always go home, just before the last train. You’d be tucked into your bed that same evening after a nice shower. “Aki…”

“Stay.” He kisses your collarbone and shoulder again, throws his thigh over your own, and traps you against his body. “Please stay. You can wear that T-shirt of mine you like so much. I’ll make you breakfast. You can meet Power and Denji, and then I’ll take you home tomorrow morning.”

You swallow, damning your weak-willed heart for succumbing so easily. Fingers curl around his wrists as you bask in his embrace, how warm he is, despite normally running so cold. “Aki,” you whisper again, tears welling along your eyelashes. “You can’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” His voice is just as quiet as your own, and he’s still kissing you, holding you like you’re something precious. But he is surely not that stupid about your feelings, to how he has been tearing you apart for the past year, even though you let him.

You sniff, trying not to cry, never wanting to embarrass yourself, even if you have sobbed in his arms on numerous occasions. “You must know that I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. Even if I marry someone after you die, I’m certain your name will still be etched into the chains on my heart. I’m just a stupid, dumb girl.”

He says nothing, and you do cry, then, tears streaming down your face as you twist away, stare out the curtained window, the thin fabric fluttering from the heat that kicks on.

“Please don’t call me anymore. Just let me hurt for awhile, so I can get over you. You’re so selfish, so selfish, why can’t I just move on?” You bury your face in your hands, wipe your tears, try to fight against him as he pulls you into his strong chest, kisses the top of your head. Still, even then, even when you want to hate him, you’re putty in his heads, melting and craving the place in his arms that feels like home.

“I can’t let you go,” Aki says, wiping your tears. “Fuck, I can’t — I need you. Do you understand? I need you, and I know I’m a selfish piece of shit, but I don’t want you to move on.” He frowns, clenching his jaw, twisting his expression up. “I’ll be better.”

“Aki—”

“I’ll love you like you need, honey. I thought,” Aki scrubs his palm over his face, the other still stroking across your back. “I thought it’d make it easier, all this distance between us, to let you go. I can’t put you in danger, but I can’t stop loving you either.”

You inhale sharply, leaning your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, committing the harmony to your memory. Who knows how much longer it will be in there, how much longer Aki will allow it to exist before he destroys himself completely.

“Aki, you’ll never love me like I need, because you’ll always put your work first,” you say, squeezing your eyes shut. “I realized that a long time ago.”

He shifts, pushing you away so you could look each other in the eye, the astounding resoluteness in his irises. How serious he was about trying to be someone he was not. “I can try.”

You sob.

And you wish you could just say no; say no and walk away, forget his name, never answer the phone again, never call Himeno to check up and make sure he’s still breathing.

But you can’t — it’ll never be that easy.

Pushing him away, you rest your head back on the pillow, trying to make yourself comfortable as you turn your back to him. Perhaps, the morning will give you clarity. You’ll stay, but you’re not sure for how long.

“I’m tired.”

Aki curls against you, rests his arm around your hip, kisses your neck, cheek, temple. “Okay,” he relents, holding you close, chest pressed against your spine. “I meant what I said about breakfast. Maybe we can talk about it then?”

You want to say no, but you won’t. He’ll kiss you in the morning, and you’ll kiss him back. Settle on your knees and give him a blowjob while he’s still groggy, before slipping on his T-shirt, chattering off his ear as he makes you breakfast. You’ll probably even curl your arms around his stomach from behind, stand on you tiptoes to reach the space between his shoulder blades.

Power and Denji will come home at some point, and probably say something rude, as Aki says they do to everyone. Then you’ll go home, and you’ll still be in love with him, and Aki will forget the conversation even happened, because he’ll say anything to get you to stay.

Or, maybe, he’s being honest. Maybe he will love you like you want him to.

Less than likely.

“Okay, Aki,” you agree, too tired to argue or acknowledge the emptiness in your stomach. “We’ll talk about it in then.”

reblogs appreciated!! thank you for reading!

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imaginaryf1shots · 6 months ago

Text

His Girlfriend | Lewis Hamilton

WC: 7.4K

Lewis Hamilton x Verstappen!reader

Max Verstappen x reader!sister

PART 1

Summery: After your fall out with Max you try to find yourself.

Warnings: age gap(age not specified) mention of abuse, Jos Verstappen is an a-hole, Max is also an ass, bad childhood, bad father, cursing, alusion to smut but no actual smut

AN: So much love for the first part, I read all the comments and took them into consideration, hope you like this, and the ending. It’s a bit different from what I had in mind when I first started this.

Masterlist

Lewis Masterlist

Max goes back to his room with Kelly, he’s a robot walking. Going on autopilot. Kelly is surprised when she sees him back so soon, she expected that she'll have to have to call him and ask when he’ll be back for him to leave you. He had been saying how he hadn’t been spending as much time with you lately.

“Why are you back so early?” Kelly asks but it was like she was talking to herself, Max went to the bed and sat down, his gaze was on the floor, before he placed it in his hands with his elbows on his knees. “Max?”

Max slides his hands up to his hair and pulls at the strands, Kelly stands in front of him, and he looks up at her and shakes his head slightly. “Fuck, Kelly, I fucked up, I fucked up badly.”

“What happened? Did you fight?” Kelly asks gently, taking his hands in hers.

“Did you know who she’s dating?” Max asked and Kelly shook her head.

”No, she said that you'd get mad if I knew and didn’t tell you.” She’s frowning at the state Max is in. “Do you know?”

”It’s fucking Hamilton.” Max mutters and his eyes well up with tears that he doesn’t allow to escape, tears of frustration and tears of anger.

“As in Lewis Hamilton?” Kelly asks for confirmation and Max nods his head with a small yeah. “What happened? What did you do?”

“I said some messed up stuff, how could I be so… so cruel to her.” Kelly sits down besides him and pulls him in for a hug, Max sounded so broken, he falls easily into her embrace.

”I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you say sorry.” Max shakes his head, and Kelly doesn’t know if it’s a ‘no’ for the fact you won’t forgive him, or he won’t say sorry. “Okay, just when you’re both calm you can talk about it, y/n, loves you too much to stay angry at you for long.”

Max doesn’t say anything and just lets her hold him, all his anger bubbled down to nothing but heartbreak.

Lewis texted you when he was done with his meeting but you didn’t reply, but he made his way to your room anyways, you could be in the bathroom or didn’t hear your phone. When he walks in he sees the only light on is the lamp by the sofa, and he sees your figure on the bed under the covers. He moves slowly in case you’re sleeping, he goes to the side of the bed you sleep on. Only when he’s so close to you does he notice your shoulders shaking.

”Baby, hey, what happened?” Lewis says in the softest of voices, his hand lands on your shoulder and he kneels beside the bed, you slowly look up at him and he sees how distraught you are. He saw you crying a couple of times, mostly after a rough day with Jos bothering you, but he’s never seen you like this. Your face is as red as a tomato, wet with tears and puffy eyes and hiccuping. Lewis gets up and opens his arms for you. “Come here.” He sits on the bed and you just fall into his arms, the only arms in the world right now that could give you comfort. Lewis holds you and shushes you until you calm down. Once you’re calm enough he asks you what happened, and you just spill everything, Lewis stays silent through the whole thing, but his eyes go to the watch he forgot and guilt consumes him. He knew how worried you were about Max finding out about the two of you, he wanted to be there with you when you told him, and now your relationship with your brother cracked.

”Let’s get out of here.” Lewis suddenly says and you look up at him, tears still slipping out of your eyes every now and then.

”W-What?”

”Let’s get out of here, where do you want to go? It’s officially summer break and we can do and go wherever we want.” Lewis has the smallest smile, you shake your head no.

”No, we can’t just leave.” You blink a couple times, trying to understand where he’s coming from.

”y/n, love, you’ve always been where Max is, and you told me before you want to try and do things on your own, now is the perfect time, a month of just you and me, we can do whatever we want, no plans, nothing, just us trying whatever we want whenever we want, freedom.”

”That does sound nice.” You say and Lewis kisses your cheek softly.

”Yeah? You’re up to it?” Lewis asks cupping your cheeks, it takes you a moment before you give in and say yes. “Let’s go then.”

”Wait now?”

”Yes now! What better time than now.”

”I guess you’re right.”

And Lewis was true to his word, he took you wherever you wanted and did whatever you wanted. It was so liberating, waking up and wanting to do something to just do it without second guessing yourself. Your phone was turned off all that time, you called your mum and assured her you're fine and you'll be off grid for the summer break. She could tell that something was wrong and when she asked you, you just told her that you had a fight with Max and to not tell him that you called.

Max did call her asking if she saw you and she said no, leaving him confused, you had nowhere to go but Monaco or go back to your mother's house. Victoria also gave him no answer, he had a feeling you were with Lewis but Lewis was posting on his Instagram and was online and there was no sign he was with anyone. He was also doing things Max didn't think you'd like.

Lewis's phone was filled with photos of you both but those were for you both only, you also got a camera and it was filled with all the memories you both made, memories you want to hold onto forever. Lewis took you skydiving, he took you surfing, he took you diving, he took you racing with street cars, he took you karting, he even took you caving. You went from one country to the other, he even took you home to the UK and you met his family, you met his nieces and Roscoe. Everyone was very welcoming to you, and you weren't the only one giving love you were receiving as you were giving and it was a nice feeling, a feeling you didn't know how much you missed until you felt it. Lewis's family dynamics is so different from the one you grew up in, his parents are divorced but the divorce didn't affect his family like it affected yours, his parents are civil and respectful and Lewis grew up with love and positivity even when they had nothing.

”What are you thinking about?” Lewis asks softly, you’re both in a bathtub in the Maldives enjoying a relaxing time after surfing for hours, the sun has yet to set. Your hands were on Lewis’s thighs near his knees, his arms resting on the sides of the tub. You hummed softly before you leaned your head to the side and up to be able to see his face.

”You.” A soft laugh escapes his lips and you smile, feeling the vibration of his laugh against your back.

”What are you really thinking about?” Lewis asks again and you breath in and out slowly, still looking at him.

“You.” You say again and if asked you a thousand times you’d still say him, he’s all you think about, he’s consuming your thoughts and your feelings, he’s all you can feel and all you can smell, he’s filling your senses and you don’t want him to stop. Lewis’s nose nudges yours softly and he leans in capturing your lips in his own in a passionate kiss, you cup his face feeling his beard before your hands moves to his loose hair out of the braids or twists he has while he races, you tug slightly making him groan, his hand moves to your back to pull you closer. “You’re all I think about.” You manage to say between kisses, turning in the tub so you’re straddling him. Your hands moving from his chest to his shoulders. Lewis nibbles on your bottom lip soft sighs leaving your lips, the kisses slow down and Lewis pulls back only a fraction.

”You’re all I think about too, all of you love.” Lewis says and his hands move from your waist, one up to your neck the other down to your butt.

Let’s say you both came out of the tub when the water was no longer warm, it was far too cold when you stepped out of it.

The summer break was over and Lewis was in the paddock and racing. For the first time in your life you’ve missed a race that Max was in, it caused your anxiety to kick off but there’s no way you’d be back and support him after what he said. So you gathered your things from the small Monaco apartment custody of Max, and flew to your mother’s house, also custody of Max, but it was either that or to move in with Lewis. He did offer but you wanted to wait, your relationship already progressed faster than normal, and you wanted to think about what you want to do in your life. Spending your time with Lewis made you realise how much your life revolved around your brother and it’s now time for you to find your own thing, it’s overdue.

You discover from your mum and sister that they still don’t know what happened and besides telling them that Max said some hurtful things you don’t elaborate. This is between you and your brother and you know for a fact they’ll both get upset with him if they know the whole thing, And after everything you still care about him. You also found out that your father is pissed that you dropped off the face of the earth and no one was informed of it before, not because he cared about you but because you were the one managing Max’s social media and they had to scramble to find a replacement for you in a record time.

After a race where Lewis finished 2nd you called him to congratulate him and you guys facetimed for hours.

”Have you thought about what you want to do?” Lewis asked you, he was going through some of his clothes to find an outfit for the dinner he was having with his LH team.

”I’m not 100% sure yet, but I want to do something with racing. I've thought about a lot of things but racing has always been my life and even though I’m not a driver I want to be in motorsport one way or another.” You tell him laying on your bed with your phone propped up against a spare pillow to show you. “The other shirt looked better.”

”This one?” Lewis asked, holding the sage green shirt he was holding, you hum and he places it on the bed. “We can think of something, motorsport is always in the need of jobs, we can both think about it.” There’s a moment of comfortable silence before Lewis remembers something. “Did you tell your mum about me?”

”Not yet, I will before the next time I fly to see you.” You tell him, your mum has been curious but she isn’t pushy, when she saw you weren’t up to it she didn’t press further.

”And when is that?” Lewis asked, picking up his phone, it’s been three weeks since you last saw each other, not a lot of time, but since you first met you haven’t been away from each other for that long.

“When do you want me?” You ask him moving onto your stomach and place the phone against the headboard.

”Yesterday.” You couldn’t help but giggle, a smile stretches against Lewis’s lips. “Do you want to come to the next race? See how it is inside Mercedes before we go to Ferrari next year.”

You absolutely love how it’s ‘we’ and not ‘me’ you’re both going to Ferrari in Lewis’s mind. “That’ll make me the person that went to three different garages in the smallest amount of time.”

”Well, I’m for one glad that two of them are because of me.” Lewis was now laying on his back one arm resting on his head, the other one holding his phone up. “But seriously, do you want to come to the US with me?”

”I don’t know.” You mumble suddenly not sure, you weren’t ready to see Max yet, and you don’t know when and if you’ll ever be ready.

”Hey, if you’re not ready, that's alright, you can come whenever you’re ready.” Lewis the ever understanding man that he is comforts you. “You can also come and we’ll find a way to sneak you in without anyone seeing you.”

”No, no it’s okay.” You say nodding to yourself, maybe going and facing whatever comes your way is the best thing to do to get over what happened, you won’t be able to avoid your brother forever, he is after all your brother. “We don’t have to hide, I miss the paddock anyway.”

”Believe it or not but the fans miss you too.”

”Miss me?” You ask him confused, you haven’t really been online much.

”Yeah, #wheresy/n was trending all week.” Lewis informs you amused and you laugh at that.

“Really?” You ask intrigued.

”Yeah, the first race you missed, fans have pointed it out and you weren’t there for the Dutch Grand Prix so that made them wonder even more.” Lewis heard Max being asked about you but he didn’t answer the question and just dodged it, but Lewis wasn’t about to tell you that. He also wasn’t about to tell you that Max hasn’t said a word to him, not that they were ever talkative but Lewis was on the podium with Max and Max usually talks with whoever is on the podium with him. But Lewis would take a silent Max over an angry Max for your sake any day of the week.

And so you packed your bags, met Lewis in the UK airport before you flew together to the US. You always loved the Austin GP, but experiencing everything with Lewis felt different. It felt new. Lewis’s team were informed of you and they were ready for the media storm heading your way once you hit the paddock with Lewis and not Max after dispersing for almost two months.

You got dressed with Lewis for the media day, not in team kits not in RedBull colours but in an all new outfit that fits you and who you want to be, also an outfit that’s worthy of Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend.

Walking in the paddock, all the cameras turned to you both, Lewis had his hand laced in yours. Uncaring for all the screaming and shouting from fans and camera men alike. Everyone was shocked to see you both together. There was no hint, no rumours, no sightings, no nothing.

“Are you okay?” Lewis asked in your ear so you’d be able to hear him clearly.

”I’m alright.” You say and give him a smile, and the poker face he had melted into a smile.

By the time you reached the Mercedes hospitality, you were sure the whole grid heard of you coming with Lewis. The hospitality was different from RedBull, Lewis had to go change and get ready for the media, so you were left with one of his team members, she showed you around. Took you to the garage and everything, she pointed to Lewis's driver room, and everything. You sat with his team while he went to do his duties.

Lewis was on for the sofa press interview this week, Max wasn’t so that was good for him. Lando, Yuki, Charles, Logan and Lewis were the ones doing it for the day. Lewis was in between Lando and Charles.

Charles was already there when Lewis turned up, they were talking to each other before Lando came and took the other seat besides Lewis, he was fresh with gossip that he wanted to confirm.

”Lewis, mate, is it true?” Lando was a bit giddy with the information, like a small kid who was about to be told Santa is real.

”What are you talking about?” Charles was the one to ask, he felt like there’s gossip that he wants to be in on.

”Lewis and y/n.” Lando whispered and had his head tilted so none of the media could see his lips moving. Lewis smiled and Charles looked at his future teammate with wide eyes.

”Verstappen?” Charles had to be sure they’re talking about the same person.

”Yep.” Lewis said popping the ‘p’ he looked overly happy with himself, Lando laughed and patted his shoulder.

“That came out of nowhere.” Lando commented and Lewis shrugged.

”Not really.” That caught their attention again.

”Since when?” Charles asked.

”Most of the season.”

”Wow.” Was all Lando could say.

”And Max?”

“Not happy.” Lando is close friends with Max, he’s bound to know and Charles is the biggest gossip with Pierre; they know everything going on in the paddock. Charles also knew y/n for most of his life. Everyone that ever raced against Max when they were karting knew the female, she’s always been there, not just nice to Max and his teammates but his rivals as well, especially when they were kids.

”That’s going to be tough.” Charles mumbled.

”Yeah, y/n has been going through it.” Lewis informed them the smile on his face was gone, he’s seen first hand how much it affected you. Max has been the number one person in your life for as long as you could remember.

“Poor girl.” Lando knows how much Max can get when he’s not happy.

Before the trio could go on further they were interrupted by the conference starting. Both will head to Mercedes to see you after, you’ve been friends with a lot of the drivers, seeing the ones that live in Monaco a lot.

Back in the Mercedes garage, someone came and told you that Max was waiting for you by the front. You sighed and stood up, knowing your brother he wasn’t about to leave until he could see and talk to you. So as to not cause a scene you just went to see him, it was bound to happen anyways.

Your brother did not look happy or comfortable standing there, the Merc crew were giving him some looks, but he didn’t shy away from them. His eyes saw you and followed you as you came out of the garage. You both moved a bit to the side, barely out of shot of prying ears.

You both faced each other in silence for a long moment, it felt awkward and unnatural. Something you both felt for the first time ever with each other.

”What do you want Max?” You ended up being the first to speak, otherwise it felt like you’d just stand there for hours.

”You disappeared.” Max said, you crossed your arms and took a deep breath.

”Yeah, I had to.” You tell him frowning. Max swallows and nods to himself.

”I was worried, didn’t know where you were, what you were doing.” Max tells you and you don’t doubt that he was worried for you, but it didn’t matter anymore.

”I told mum that I was okay.”

”Yes, but we’ve never not talked for that long.” Max’s voice may have betrayed him a little there because you heard how hurt he is.

“And who’s fault is that, Max?” You ask him, moving your hand around.

”Not mine.” You scoff at his words rolling your eyes. “y/n, we were fine before you started seeing him, he’s the problem not me.”

“Were we fine? Really? Because I’ve never felt better or happier than when I’m with Lewis.” Max had to take a moment to process your words, and he’s trying not to get angry.

”I thought you were happy?”

”I thought so too, but it looked like we were both wearing rose coloured glasses.” You tell him honestly. “Max, I’ve been following you around my whole life, helping you in any way I can, and I’ve loved it, I wanted to, but you’re old now and you’ve achieved your dreams and what about me? What have I done? What have I achieved? What's my name?”

”You never said any of that before, I thought you were happy with me, with the team.” Max was really having a hard time accepting what you were saying, but he knew that it’s true and valid, and if he accepts them as truth would mean he’s the worst brother ever for not releasing any of this.

”Max, I was happy, but it wasn’t easy for me and dad hasn’t been making it easy for me, I had to get away from this.”

“What does dad have to do with this?”

”You can’t be serious?” You chuckle dryly and roll your eyes. “Even RedBull employees have noticed hell Hemlut told dad to keep out of the garage, Max dad has been abusive to me, to us, I’ve always tried to protect you from it and not make it as hard, but you have to have seen it or felt it.” Max’s face was blank and that made you scoff. “Fucking hell, Max, the first day Lewis and I talked he saw the bruises he knew, how could you have not known? Or you chose to ignore it.”

”No, no I didn’t, I…” Max didn’t know what to say, you looked at him and he looked at you before he turned around and just left. You stood there stunned for a moment, shaking your head before you turned back to look at the Mercedes garage.

“y/n!” Someone calls your name and you look only to find Lily running towards you with Alex trailing behind, you open your arms for the golfer and pull her in for a hug. You’ve always had a good relationship with Alex from when he was Max’s teammate and thus you met Lily and formed a good relationship with her. After sharing a long hug with her you greeted Alex and you stood talking for a while, catching up, confirming the paddock rumours, and having a laugh. Lando was the first person to join you, before Kika and Alexandria did as well. And so some people joined some left but this spot near Mercedes you stood talking to everyone.

By the time you were back in the garage it was time for lunch, Lewis was in his room after he came, said hello and left you with your friends. You knock on his door hearing a come in, you open the door and walk in.

“Hi.” You say softly and make your way to the sofa he was sitting on, you lay down your head in his lap and close your eyes.

”Hi.” Lewis’s hands move to your hair to run through them and you close your eyes. “I heard Max came around.” You hum but don’t say anything or open your eyes. “Want to talk about it?”

You tell him what happened between the two of you, all the while he’s nodding and giving you one word answers, by the time you’re done, you’ve sat up and Lewis has one hand on your knee in comfort.

“Well, love, I think you just give him time, he needs to process everything.” Lewis knows that you want to fix whatever’s been broken between you and Max. “In a few days or a week he’ll call you and you’re going to have to talk again, he wants to fix this as much as you do.”

”I don’t know.” You mumble.

”I know, trust me.” Lewis says and raises your chen so he can meet your eyes.

”I trust you.” You say and lean in to peck his lips.

Well Lewis was wrong, Max didn’t come to talk to you in a few days or a week, Max came after a few hours. You were in the room you shared with Lewis after the long day you had on track, you already showered and dressed in one of Lewis’s shirts and panties, not planning on seeing anyone or going out.

So when you heard someone knock on the door, Lewis went to see who, he was dressed in some basketball shorts and didn’t have a shirt on, his braids out of the twist he does at the back of his head.

“y/n.” Lewis called your name, making you get off the bed and towards the door, walking out of the bedroom of the suite you see Max standing there glaring at your boyfriend while Lewis was looking at you, not seeing the looks your brother is sending him.

”Max… I didn’t expect to see you here.” You say surprised and confused. “Come in.” You look at Lewis for approval, it is his room after all, but just steps aside for Max to enter. You sit on the sofa and Max sits across from you, you look at Lewis wanting him to come sit with you.

”Can’t we talk alone?” Max asked and you look at him, the words ‘yes’ at the tip of your tongue, a force of habit that’s proving harder to break than you’d expect.

”No, I think it’s about time we talk, all three of us.” You end up telling him instead, Lewis throws on a shirt before joining you on the sofa, his knee hitting yours. Max isn’t happy about Lewis joining you but he has no say in it. “Why did you come? We talked today.”

”I know, but it- I just feel like we still have so much to say still.” Max says and you nod, for him to go on. “y/n, look I spoke with mum and she made me realise a lot of things, I’m sorry that I didn’t realise how much dad has been hurting you, I don’t know how I didn’t realise it before.”

”It’s because she’s been doing it for years.” Max looks irritated that Lewis spoke but he bit his tongue and said nothing. “You got used to it, it didn’t trigger anything inside of you.”

“That may be true, I just… I should’ve realised how much of an ass he is to you.” Max couldn’t meet your eyes, you take a moment to know what you want to say to him, not wanting to make or do or say anything just based on your emotions because you know your emotions will always choose him over you.

“Look whatever happened with dad happened, and I’ll never hold that over you and or blame you, it was all my choices and my actions and I’ve lived with it and I’m over it.” You tell him and Lewis takes you hand in his, you look to your side and see his soft supportive smile, you squeeze his hand and smile a little. “What I want is for us to get over whatever it is that’s bothering you about me being with Lewis.”

”And deciding to do what you want.” Lewis adds and you both look at him a bit confused, Lewis sighs, it looks to him like as much as you’ve both realised there’s still so many things in your dynamics that needs to be realised and fixed. “From what I understood, it looks like Max is upset that you’re doing things not with him or doing things for yourself without going back to him.”

You and Max look at each other and you go back to your conversation earlier that day and you realise that what Lewis is saying is true.

“No, look, whatever you want to do we’ll do it, you gave up so much to help me and support me and I’ll do the same for you.” Max says. “I want what’s best for you, yes I’d prefer if it’s you being with me, but whatever you want I’m okay with it.”

”Just not being with Lewis.” You state and Max looks at Lewis and sighs.

”I don’t think I’ll ever be happy or approve, but you look happy and Lando told me you’ve done so much… but why does it have to be him?” Max sounded desperate, he wants you to turn and break up with Lewis and just find someone else.

”Why Kelly? Why is anyone with anyone?” You ask your brother, wanting him to see.

”I love Kelly.” Max says instantly.

”And what? I don’t love Lewis? I love him Max, and he’s the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” You tell Max with tears gathering in your eyes and a squeeze to your hand. “It’s Lewis now, and it’ll be Lewis next week, and it’ll be him until he’s sick of me.”

”Not planning on it happening.” Lewis tells you softly, Max looks at you both, looks at the softness Lewis is showing you, he’s allowing you to say and do whatever you want whilst being there to support you. To have your back.

”You’re an adult now, y/n, you can do whatever you want to do, I’m not happy but if being with Lewis is what you want then I’ll try to be fine with it.” Max concedes but for some reason it rubbed you the wrong way.

”No, no.” You shake your head, and stand up and look at your younger brother, tears leaving your eyes. “You don’t get to tell me you’re unhappy, you don’t get to do that. You can’t tell me you’re ‘okay’ with it when you’re not, max, you know how much I love you, you’ve been my number one person since I was a child, I thought of you the first and last thing every day, I took care of you and helped you and protected you and never ever asked for anything I’m asking you now, to be happy, can’t you be happy for me?” Max stays silent and you wipe the tears away. “Fuck you Max, honestly just fuck off.”

You storm off to the bedroom slamming the door, before slamming the bathroom door as well, leaving the men alone.

”Look Max, I respect you as a driver, but you have to understand where she’s coming from.” Lewis says to Max calmly. “When you said whatever you want to do WE’LL do, you have to realise that you and your sister aren’t one, you’re not one being, your achievements are yours not hers she’s a part of your team but that was by circumstance, by a choice she made when she wasn’t even 13 yet.” Max once again stays silent, his mind is turning and churning. “I love your sister and I want you to know that she’s my number one priority right now, and I don’t think she’s ever been someone's top priority, so let her be happy, and like she supported you, it’s your turn to support her.”

Lewis leaves Max alone and goes to find you, Max hears your sobs followed by Lewis’s soft and comforting words. He hears you letting go and spelling your emotions relying on Lewis. He realises that he’s been lacking as a brother for so long, he’s never been there for you like Lewis is right now, and he’s known you for less than a year.

Next day you didn't go to the track, your eyes were puffy and you hadn’t slept well, so Lewis left you sleeping in the morning with a text telling you to stay in for the day. Half way through the day Kelly turns up, you spend the day talking and catching up. Your current relationship status with your brother has no affect on your relationship with her. Kelly has always been one of the closest people to you, yes it’s because she’s dating Max and by default you spend a lot of time with her, but in a way she’s been like an older sister to you, or just a sister that you can tell everything in a way you wouldn’t with the younger siblings in case they get upset or you’d ruin their innocence.

She told you all about P and what she’s been up to, you showed her pictures of everything you’ve done with Lewis and told her about all the places you’ve been to. You shared a bottle of wine, ordered some room service and enjoyed yourselves. No talk of F1 or boyfriends or brothers, just two girls having fun, and it was something you needed.

Quali day you made it to the track with sunglasses and a Merc LH44 hat on your head in a less in your face approach when getting into the paddock.

”Hey, y/n.” Susie Wolff greeted you when the cars were out on track for FP3.

”Hi, it’s so nice to officially meet you.” You say pressing your cheeks to hers in greeting, you’ve of course seen the woman before but you’ve never actually talked to her.

“You too, how are you doing? Hope the Mercedes garage is treating you well.” Susie says.

”Yes, everyone’s been welcoming and lovely.”

”That’s great, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” She says and pulls you gently to the side so you’d be able to talk comfortably.

”Yeah sure, what’s going on?” You ask her, having no idea why she’d want to talk to you about.

”I heard from Lewis that you’re looking into jobs relating to racing.” She said and you’re surprised to say the least. Lewis hasn’t told you anything about it. “And I have an offer for you.”

”Please.”

”I’ve heard how involved you’ve been with Max and that you’ve done well in karting as well, so I think that we can find you a spot maybe as a manager at first in F1 academy and then we can see where to go from there.” The smile that breaks onto your face is so big and you can’t help it, it’s caught on camera from afar, the text under your name saying ‘Lewis Hamilton’s partner’

“That’s a dream come true, thank you so much.” You give Susie a hug, and you can’t wait to get back to the hotel to say/show your thanks to Lewis. You both start talking more about the academy, working with women, what the job will entail, what's to expect and what other things you’d like to do. Overall it was a very lovely and beneficial talk to the both of you.

Race day comes and you’re watching from the Merc garage, the race was intense but for a rare moment for the team in 2024 both drivers are doing well, and Lewis is up front fighting with the top 4 cars. You’re anxiously watching hoping for a good result for your man, and as the race goes on it’s looking fiercer, and you find yourself hoping that everyone’s safe out on track.

A good outcome comes out of the race with Lewis coming in 2nd after Max, you’re beyond happy, clapping and cheering with the team. You don’t wait for the team and start to make your way down to have a good spot for the podium, somehow you end up standing between Mercedes and RedBull, right next to Kelly. Just like old times. You both wait, like old times. But you’re waiting for different people now, each of you is waiting for her boyfriend.

Lewis makes it back first, he runs over to the team and they hug and congratulate him, before he takes off his helmet and balaclava and pulls you in for a kiss by the back of your head. your hands land on his shoulder and you’re scrounged by the screams of the teams around you. Lewis pulls back and you’re both smiling, he kisses your forehead and turns to leave. He just passes Max who puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Max has already taken his helmet and balaclava off, meaning he had seen you and Lewis kissing. You hold your breath as you watch saying Kelly’s name.

”Don’t worry.” She tells you as she watches the scene in front of her unfold.

”Take care of her.” Max says to Lewis, it’s only the two of them that heard it, but Lewis nods and takes Max’s outstretched hand, they shake for a moment.

“Always.” It’s Max’s way of saying he approves and he supports them being together. You finally breathe when Max lets go and heads to you guys, he quickly hugs and kisses Kelly before he turns to you. He gives you a smile that you return and he kisses your cheek before he turns and celebrates with his team. Tears gather in your eyes but with the amount of cameras around you well them away.

There’s still a long way for you and Max to go, you haven’t forgiven him but this is a step. He’s still a tad bit apprehensive about Lewis but he’s trying, maybe one day he’ll see it and he’ll be okay with this relationship and it’ll all be alright. But Max has to let you go and give you the freedom to do what you want, he’ll try to be better for you, he’ll try to earn your trust once more. He knows he has a lot to work on and he’s willing to do that, for you, because you’re his number one.

Bonus Scene - Jos gets what he deserves

You and Lewis went out to celebrate with the team, and you’re thrown back in memories of when you first met, so much has changed. You’re no longer single, you wanted to go to the club even if you’re only having one drink and Lewis is having none, Lewis wasn’t forced to come as well, his team showed up for him. You’re both in so much better spirits this time around, you didn’t sneak away, you danced together. Lewis is singing to you as you’re dancing and you’re laughing, smiling and having the time of your life.

Walking back in the hotel you were laughing as if you’re drunk, maybe drunk on love. But alas, Jos can’t ever see you happy and let you be, that man has no sense of awareness or care, because why is he calling your name in the middle of the hotel lobby? Is it night time? yes. Is the lobby practically empty? yes. Is it still a public space? yes. Do the couple of people still have phones? yes.

All the laughter and happiness is stripped out of you in an instant, Lewis who was pulling you after him stopped, you both turn to look at Jos to see your father angry stalking towards you two.

”What-“ You barely managed to get the word out before Jos was throwing his arm to grab yours, with Lewis’s driver's reflexes he managed to pull you behind himself so your dad’s hand barely brushed against you.

“Whoa there man, what are you doing?” Lewis was boiling with rage, your hands holding his shirt the only thing that kept him from punching Jos.

“Step away, I want to talk to my daughter.” Jos stated glaring at Lewis, he was trying to make himself look bigger than he was, you were shaking with fear, memories from when you were younger flooded your mind.

”No, you’re not talking to her.” Lewis said through gritted teeth his hands turned into fists.

”This is family business.” Jos said back.

”I don’t care, she’s my family now.” Jos was getting angrier every time Lewis talked back to him. “You’ve got no right to talk to her, you’ve never even cared about her, we all know why you want to ‘talk’ to her and it’s not happening. y/n, is none of your or Max’s business anymore.”

”y/n, tell him to step away and come here.” You flinched when you heard your name coming out of his mouth.

”No, I don’t want to talk to you.” You tell him trying to muster all the courage you have in you, it’s been such a long time since you’ve seen him this angry, it’s like the old him came back.

”Don’t be an idiot, and come here.” His hand was pointing and waving around as he talked.

”No.” You shook your head, Jos having reached his breaking point tried to come near you once more, but Lewis moved, making you still behind him and out of your father’s reach. That made Jos angrier and the angrier he got the more he started doing things without thinking. You know your dad, you know his tell-tales, his ticks and his signs. You learned them, you had to learn them to be able to live and survive with him. Maybe it was the clench of his jaw or how he leaned on one leg a bit, maybe it was the small twitch in his eyes or maybe it was all those at once. But all you knew is that you pushed Lewis to the side, making him stumble and for a hand to come in contact with your temple. A small scream escapes your lips and gasps around the lobby, You stumble and fall back on your hands and knees harshly. Lewis is shouting and cursing grabbing your father by his shirt pushing him away, and security were on the both of them in seconds, Where were they a few moments before you had no idea. Once they got a hold of Jos and separated Lewis and him, Lewis was by your side helping you up. cupping your face in his hands, looking at the red spot, that’s bruising fast.

”Are you okay, love?” Maybe it’s a stupid question but he had to ask.

”Yeah, just a bit dizzy.” At your words Lewis led you to a sofa and sat you down. The police were called and you were handed ice, the dizziness has long since passed when the police arrived but a headache was killing you. Being in the US and how everything was already complicated, you didn’t press charges and even refused to go to the hospital wanting this day to end already.

Lewis bless him was acting as if you were dying, his arms around you to help you walk, leading you to your shared room, ordering more ice and painkillers, he took off your shoes and helped you slip out of your dress and into one of his shirts, he took off your make up for you and he moved the blankets for you to slip under them before placing them back on. You sat leaning on the headboard and the lights were dimmed.

”Lewis.” You say once he sat down beside you on the edge of the bed, he hummed his eyes not straying from your face. “I told you before we started dating that I have a lot of baggage and you said it’s okay and there’s no baggage… do you- do you still feel the same?”

”Of course, love, sweetheart, everything you’ve been through is just going to make us stronger, besides, it can only look up from here.” Lewis reassured you and takes your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles, you flip your hand and cup his face rubbing his cheek.

“I love you so much.” You tell him tearing up, the emotions he evokes and moves inside of you are too much, they’re all good and warm and lovely, but they’re too much.

”I love you too sweetheart.” Lewis turns his head to kiss your palm multiple times. “And I promise that one day, I’ll make you Mrs. Hamilton and I’ll give you the family that you deserve.”

”I don’t have to be a Hamilton, you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”

”It’s still not what you deserve, I’d give you the whole world if you asked me to.” Lewis places his forehead against yours softly and carefully not to hurt you.

Jos didn’t face any legal consequences, but videos of the accident were leaked online and the internet was eating him alive. RedBull had to come out and say he’s not allowed in their premises again. You heard from Kelly about the fight he had with Max about it and how Max cut him off, and out of his life. You didn’t care about that though you were just living your life with Lewis and focused on your new job, doing what you wanted, happily.

Main taglist:

@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002

Taglist:

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#f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 scenario #f1 x reader #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen #max verstappen imagine #sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton #lewis #lh #team lh44 #lh44 #f1 fic

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satoruxx · 11 days ago

Text

THE SPACE BETWEEN COMFORT AND CHAOS.

✧ PAIRING: wolf!toji fushiguro x f!reader | 4.5k words

✧ SUMMARY: wolfhybrid!toji, hybrid au, grumpy x sunshine, animalistic behavior, societal inequality, dysfunctional families, were getting into the pining everyone, fluff, toji letting his guard down, blood as a metaphor for love ??

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: sorry for taking a month to get this part out guys!! unfortunately the semester's started and i'm also spending every free minute i have studying for the mcat rip :(( but know that wolf toji never leaves my mind hehe :33 as usual i would recommend reading the previous parts before this one !!

prev. | series masterlist.

you are slowly getting used to coming home and not seeing toji there.

not that he is overly loud or anything. but after seeing someone lounging on your couch or staring at the tv or awkwardly peeking through your fridge every single day, the lack of that presence seems much more impactful.

it leaves a strangely empty feeling in your gut, but you shake it off because you know he will be back soon.

besides, he had been the one to insist on getting a job.

("you really don't have to—"

"i wanna." he scratches the back of his neck, an awkward grimace on his face as he speaks. "i uh… take up a lotta your space. so just let me, alright?")

far be it from you to deny a literal predator. so yes, the two of you had fallen into a sort of rhythm. while you were at school or your job, toji would go out and work—you're not really sure what it is he does, and you're a little too awkward to ask. he had hinted at picking up small odd jobs here and there, like helping move construction materials or furniture, which was easy thanks to his brute strength.

it also was easier for him to lay low with jobs that didn't involve high profile people.

you never tried to find out more, because oddly enough, you trusted the hulking wolf of a man.

and it was…oddly endearing how'd he'd come back with his paycheck and drop it in your palm, voice a low grunt as he mutters a quick, "here y'go."

in fact, over the few months that toji has been with you, you've started easily picking up many oddly endearing things about him.

like how he sits upright and scowls when the doorbell rings, ears pointed and hackles rising. how he does not eat if you're not eating—even if you give him a plate he will sit in front of it and stare you down, urging you to drop what you're doing to come and sit with him. how he prefers taking a seat near your legs when you're watching tv, back pressing against the bottom of the couch.

(you try mentioning any of these to him and he gives you the most affronted scowl.)

but yes it's all very endearing. even now when you're sitting on your couch and thinking about it, there is a silly smile on your face—when you notice it, you have to slap yourself quickly.

the cool chill of your wet hair leaves a trail of goosebumps over your arms, even though your body is warm from your shower. maybe it's strange to be overanalyzing the all cute little things the wolf hybrid you let in your home does on a daily basis. and perhaps you should be wondering why your brain seems to find him whenever it doesn't have anything else to think about, but you're a little scared of what that might reveal about you.

your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the bathroom door unlocking, and you look up subconsciously.

your eyes catch toji's figure leaving the bathroom, and for a split second your throat goes dry. he emerges from a cloud of steam, drops of water cascading over the planes of his chest and torso. a towel hangs lows on his hipbones, hair heavy with wetness as he frustratingly shakes the strands away from his eyes. you are unable to look away from the muscles of his back, damp skin reflecting the light in the hallway.

it's just a few seconds—just as he makes his way from the bathroom into his own bedroom, but it's enough to have you sitting there with your lips parted.

you spend the next couple seconds shaking your head as you try to push down the heat crawling up your neck.

the wolf joins you a few minutes later, a loud yawn tearing through his throat. his hair is messy, damp from the shower and sticking up in odd directions.

(you cannot look away from him.)

"hey," he nods at you, claws absentmindedly scratching under his shirt.

(a glimpse of chiseled abs and scarred muscle.)

"hey," you answer back, still feeling warm. you clear your throat, brushing it aside. "ready to eat?"

a wordless nod. you stand up and head to the kitchen, exhaling deeply. you're not sure what that was, but you'll be sure to brush it under the rug.

in a few minutes the two of you are sitting across each other, as usual. toji ravenously digs into his food, tongue running over his lips subconsciously.

you watch, strangely satisfied. his jade green eyes briefly flick up to meet yours. when they find their mark, they turn away, but his shoulders seem to relax.

you shove your fork in your mouth, a little breathless. "h-how was your day?"

he swallows, heavy gaze finding yours again. "not bad. work was work."

you grin. "wow what a riveting revelation. how much do i need to donate for an elaboration, mister wolf?"

toji makes a show of rolling his eyes, chewing slowly. "you're so dramatic."

"i'm entertaining," you clarify, a smug smile tugging at your lips.

"whatever helps you sleep at night, kid." he huffs out what sounds like a dry chuckle, but you take it like it's a medal. he indulges your question though. "i helped on a construction site. it wasn't that hard."

another satisfied bite. "humans are always so creative when they try to get out of doing work."

your brow quirks. "what do you mean?"

he waves his paw haphazardly, looking exasperated. "y'know? with all their machines and shit."

you snort quietly. "yeah some of us can't lift ten thousand pounds like you."

he throws you an unamused glance, but continues eating. there's a pause, but then he asks. "how about you?"

you smother a grin behind your fork—how considerate of him. "it was fine. pretty boring day."

suddenly you perk up, a thought hitting you, and toji unconsciously leans closer.

"oh wait! i had to train someone today. it was so awkward!" you wave your fork around as you articulate your words. "he was really quiet and barely asked questions so i felt like i was yapping for hours to fill the silence. but he seemed nice enough so it's fine i guess."

(so that's the new trace of a scent that toji picked up on as soon as you walked in. it clung to you, overly sweet and sticky—molasses. worming its way around your body, almost parasitic. and you had no idea.

but he did. he knows the undertones in that foreign scent, can pick up the giddy nerves and faint arousal and sheer excitement. it disgusts him, irritates him beyond belief.

if it were up to him he'd dig his claws into that gross scent.

maybe if he were to tighten his grip, sink his teeth into your flesh—a sadistic little brand of his own—he could scrape that parasite off of you. replace it with a parasite of his own.)

"you do talk a lot," he replies. the offended look on your face is exactly the reaction he was waiting for, and he pushes down a smirk.

"well i have to make up for it since you're so boring!"

the two of you bicker over dinner, and toji does not know why it pleases him so much. the dips in your brows, the slant of your lips, the strained laughter behind your arguments—every microexpression threatens to worm its way into the inner crevices of his brain and settle there.

(parasitic beyond belief.)

these expressions stay in his mind even as he finds himself in his bed a few hours later. his jade eyes feel strained as they bore holes in the ceiling, the shadows creating monsters against the walls. he tries thinking of something else, but you remain, stubborn in a way that he does not know how to fight.

he briefly wonders whether this is normal—if other people also think of you after they spend time with you.

(but then he realizes that would mean that others are privy to seeing you the way he does, and suddenly the taste in his mouth is bitter.)

toji is grateful though. for the past few months, there would be nights where his dreams weren't so pleasant. where he would find himself back in a cold cell, with the sound of boots and growls and cheers echoing in his ears. or he'd be back in that family home, kept to the side, away from the rest because of his cursed blood and so called poisonous mother. where he would stand in front of a mirror and curse the features that made him so misfortunate.

so yeah, if it were up to him, he'd much rather see your pretty face behind his eyelids.

but even then it seems as though sleep will be eluding him tonight. his body feels restless, thrumming with energy and mild irritation. his skin feels numb and prickly, somehow simultaneously hot and cold.

toji rubs a weary paw across his face, grumbling. he doubts he's getting anymore sleep tonight—it's not like he isn't used to it. he throws the covers off, before standing up and stretching until he's heard a few satisfying pops. maybe he'll go watch something on your tv at the lowest possible volume, or he'll sit by the living room window until he dozes off on his own. whatever—he's just so damn tired.

his door creaks as he pushes it open, and he internally prays that you remain asleep. but from what he knows, while you are a relatively light sleeper, these sounds don't usually bother you. he pauses just as he walks past your room, sneaking a glance at the shut door.

he thinks he can picture you clearly behind the door, wrapped up in your sheets and pressed against your pillows without a care in the world. he wonders whether you're dreaming tonight, and if you are he wants to know what you see.

(wondering whether you see his face in the same way he sees yours.)

he does not know what compels him, but toji finds himself taking a seat on the ground, back pressing against your door. he can faintly hear the sound of your heartbeat, slow and even as you sleep. your breaths are low, steady—like the sound of waves gently rushing over warm sand.

it's rhythmic, tantalizing, so so soothing.

he can feel his eyes growing heavy, can feel the tension leaving his shoulders. he thinks he can feel the warmth of your body through the door.

toji is lucky that his ears are sensitive. because in the morning, when you quietly get out of bed, he will awake to the sound, and then he will hurry back into his room like nothing happened. he will make this a habit, seeking you out in the middle of the night when sleep is his worst enemy. and he will sit there, using the thumping of your heartbeats his own personal metronome—a lullaby.

but it will be his little secret.

he has always been so stubborn.

the bite of the stinging wind makes toji's hair stand on end, but he does not hate it. he'd much rather welcome the overcast skies than bake under a glaring sun. the sound of hammering and drilling and machines makes toji's ears twitch even under the stupid hardhat his boss insisted he wear.

whatever. just a few more hours and then he can go home.

he briefly thinks of you. wonders whether you'll be home before he is or whether he'll be the one waiting for you tonight.

he hears footsteps approaching, but barely flinches as his boss claps him on the shoulder. the stocky, genial old man is way too cheerful for a job so dull, but toji has gotten used to it by now. besides the guy practically adores the big strong hybrid who moves materials for him like it's the easiest thing in the world. and he never stops talking about it.

"what would we do without you, toji?"

toji snorts indifferently. "crash and burn?"

a bark of laughter cuts through the air and the wolf raises a brow.

"you're right about that." the old man grins, looking up at the hulking wolf with a mix of awe and gratitude. "some of these kids are too lazy."

he turns to bark a couple of orders to some of the younger workers, and toji bites back a wry grin, shaking his head. "what d'ya need me to do after moving these?"

his boss looks at the steel beams toji is currently stacking, before glancing down at his clipboard. "honestly, just need the bricks moved and you should be good to leave."

toji unconsciously perks up at that. suddenly he feels a lot more energized—starts working a little quicker.

his boss is quiet for a second, before he asks a question. "you got someone back home?"

toji throws him a disinterested glance, before resuming his work. "why?"

"well my daughter's got a friend. hybrid too, you know?" toji is barely listening, instead securing the ties around a couple of steel beams by his feet. his boss continues genially. "deer. she's real sweet."

"you know wolves eat deer, right?" toji's expression is so blank it makes his boss flinch. an awkward chuckle escapes the old man's lips, and he raises his hands in defeat.

"okay, i get it. you're not interested."

toji shakes his head mutely, turning his focus back to his work.

"but don't you wanna settle down? you're at that age right?" his boss ponders, glancing down at the clipboard in his hands. "don't most hybrids find a mate by this age?"

the word sets a shot of heat through his gut. he does not like addressing those things, base instincts that make him different from everyone else, which is why he has so adamantly pushed aside that part of his nature. because he hates the idea of tying someone to him, trapped with him forever. because he knows that once he has his teeth in them he will not let them go. because he has always been nothing more than a selfish animal.

he hates the idea with a burning passion.

(his blood is hot, fire in his veins. he wonders if you would let him do that to you, sink his fangs into your throat and let him eat you up. feel your flesh and blood under his ever so grateful claws—worshipping, all consuming.

somehow the idea becomes less revolting.

he wonders what you think about the whole thing. tying yourself to someone forever. would you be open to an animal? he hopes you wouldn't be. he knows there are similar traditions for your kind. something involving a ring on a finger and a big celebration to follow. but even that seems mediocre to him. does not hold the same meaning as making you his and devoting himself to you.

humans are so blasé.)

"like i said, not interested." toji's air of indifference makes the man's shoulders slump, but he brushes it off with a good natured chuckle.

"well okay. let me know if you change your mind. my daughter has a lot of friends."

a noncommittal grunt escapes the wolf and he speaks up before he can stop himself. "forget it. i got someone already."

his boss gasps, strangely giddy. "well you ass! why didn't you lead with that?"

(because he didn't mean to say it.)

toji shrugs carelessly, turning away. he doesn't want to talk about it—mostly because it's a lie. but also because he knows that if he thinks too deeply about it, he'll start wondering why it was so easy to offer you up like that. and why it disappoints him that it is really nothing more than a lie.

"it's not a big deal."

"i'm sure other people would disagree," the older man laughs. "what's she like?"

(another burst of fire—quiet, clinging, possessive. he would stand in front of you and take the intrusive stares into his own shoulder blades before he let them even look at you.)

"she's fine." the short answer is all toji wants to share.

"just fine?"

(perfect, he wants to say. but nobody needs to know that but him.)

"anyone ever told you you're nosy?"

his boss blinks, before letting out another boisterous burst of laughter. a clap to the back follows, and toji sighs in exasperation.

"fine fine. i'll stop. you're such a secretive asshole."

toji finishes securing the ties before easily hefting the steel beams onto his shoulder. he ignores the starry eyed gazes of some of the younger workers around him. his boss, despite seeing toji's brute strength before, still looks just as starstruck.

"where'd you come from anyway?" the older man finally blurts out. toji's shoulders tense, eyes narrowing as he pins an intrusive stare to the human. his boss backtracks.

"n-not that it matters!" he stumbles, and toji is suddenly reminded of how human the man is compared to him. "you know i don't care where you're from as long as you can work."

"i can work." the wolf's response is dry. he doesn't like the idea of sharing anything about himself to humans.

(besides you of course.)

"right. we've gotten a lot done since you've joined." the boss once again claps him on the back heartily, and toji has to push down the feelings of irritation at the casual touch.

(all he really cares about is finishing his work. the faster he gets done, the faster he can go home and see you.)

a few hours later, toji's pushing the apartment door open. his muscles are a little sore, but it's peace compared to the aftermath of his old battles underground. the extra key in his hand feels heavy, weighted with some importance that he is unused to. he decides he does not hate it as he drops it in the little bowl you have next to the door—right next to your own keychain.

"i'm back." his voice is low, just because he's still getting used to announcing his return. still getting used to the idea that someone is there waiting for him.

he sees your head pop up from over the back of the couch, and he is briefly reminded of a bunny. the thought almost makes him smile.

"welcome home!" you grin, propping yourself on your knees and peering at him. "how was your day?"

"meh," he grunts, shrugging his jacket off. you roll your eyes good naturedly, almost like you expected this response.

"you're so articulate," you drawl sarcastically, and he huffs. without thinking, he reaches over to give your forehead a gentle push.

"shut up."

you grumble at the shove, pushing his arm away before standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "ready for dinner?"

he glances at the clock, lips slanting unhappily. "you didn't have to wait to eat, kid."

"yeah but i wanted to." a cheeky smile stretches across your face, and he has the strongest urge to reach out and tug on your cheek until you're swatting at him in between laughs.

but all he can do is sigh. "stupid…"

the way you turn to stick your tongue out at him almost makes him chuckle.

in a few minutes you're both in your respective spots, digging into your food just as you do every night. dinner is quiet, but not uncomfortable. somehow toji feels relaxed even in your silence.

(he wonders why that is.)

eventually the wolf feels a pleasant chill run up his spine, so he unconsciously lifts his head. your eyes are pinning him to his seat, not sharp but ever so curious. he thinks he has finally learned how to read you.

(pick you apart and examine your pieces before putting you back together with reverent fingers.)

he is about to ask you to spill it, but you beat him to it.

"hey toji?" your voice is quiet, timid. his gaze travels over you, sharp eyes assessing the sudden nervousness in your posture.

"what?"

"can i ask you something?"

he hesitates, chewing his food, before nodding once.

"how did you end up underground anyway?"

he stiffens. a rush of anger floods through his body. the familiar feeling of hatred as he thinks of the cursed last name he once had and who that name belongs to.

he steels himself, trying to keep those emotions suppressed. the last thing he wants to do is get angry in front of you. so he just swallows, and looks down at his plate. "my family sold me there."

he hears your sharp inhale, can practically smell the spike of indignant anger, before the sadness follows.

"your own family?"

he shrugs haphazardly, like it doesn't matter—it does. "yep."

you watch him continue eating with an evidently sympathetic look in your eyes. he still does not know how to react to that expression, but he knows that it makes his stomach churn with a strange mix of sensations.

"why?" you press, leaning forward. in between the shine of curiosity in your eyes, he sees that subtle spark of anger—anger on his behalf. once again, this idea makes him strangely giddy.

another shrug. toji leans his chin in his palm, gaze drifting to the side. "don't know. they just don't really fuck with hybrids."

you make a face. he suppresses a chuckle.

"as soon as they found out my old man got with my ma, they said i'd be trash," he continues. "cursed her for ruining his life. ever since i was born they told me that i wasn't like them. animal scum, y'know?"

he says all this very casually, but he finds that he cannot look away from you. he wants to greedily drink in every little expression, every sliver of emotion, every single detail that betrays your thoughts and feelings.

(he wants to open you up and dig through flesh and blood until he finds your beating heart. he wants to find it and gently hold it in his palms. take it and keep it close to his own so that it remains untouched—unhurt. safe.)

your expression looks sad now, and toji briefly regrets answering your questions. he finds that he really does not like this expression on you.

"so they just sent you there?" you ask, fiddling with your food. it seems like you've lost your appetite now. "that's it?

toji gives a noncommittal roll of his eyes. "well they spent eighteen years feeding me and growing me up. they figured i owed them for their generous charity."

another grimace of distaste.

"so as soon as i was an adult they sent me down there. been fighting ever since." he finishes the last bite of his food. licks his fingers clean. jade eyes find yours.

a sad dip of your brows. "i'm so sorry. that's terrible."

(you offer your comfort so willingly. naive and warm.

he is an animal. a greedy one. he will take and take and take until there is nothing left to give. until he is attached to your warmth at a level that goes microscopically deep. past skin and muscle and bone and blood.)

toji hums, standing up to go put his empty plate in the sink. just as he is passing by you, he notices your expression—he pauses in his tracks.

you purse your lips, hesitant. but you seem to get over whatever fear you had and speak up. "i'd give you a hug but i know you'll throw a fit."

(his ribcage jumps—he thinks he can feel himself salivate. dripping from his fangs.)

you grin to yourself, like you've told a joke. once again he greedily drinks it in. when you meet his eyes again, blinding smile just for him, he thinks he has been reborn.

"so i'll just say i'm glad you're here."

toji's throat goes dry. there is a flood of thoughts then—uncontrollable and honest. he wonders what it would feel like, a hug from you. if he thinks hard enough, he can imagine the brush of your fingers against his shoulders, around his waist. can feel the tickle of your hair under his chin. can feel the warmth of your cheek against his chest. can feel your scent fill his nostrils. the steady thrum of your heartbeat pressed against his own.

he swallows with a bit of difficulty.

your words dance in his ears—so frustratingly pleasant. i'm glad you're here.

only you could say something so disgustingly sweet and have his head spinning. he thinks you might be more dangerous than he is.

because strangely, his lips pull into a smile, one that is weirdly fond, and he reaches up to put a heavy hand on your head.

you blink, confused, as he ruffles your hair. it's not at all gentle—gruff and unrestrained in a way that is so inherently toji. but you relax under his touch without even realizing it yourself.

he wants to say more. wants to tell you that yes, he's glad to be here too. with you.

but he bites his tongue, drops his hand, and revels in the fact that he can at least look at you right in front of him.

"did your family really care that much when they found out a hybrid was gonna be born into the household?" you ask, and toji continues his walk over to the kitchen sink, answering over his shoulder.

"yeah. the zenins have always been so picky about their stupid bloodline."

from the corner of his eyes, he catches the way your jaw drops at his casual statement. his ears pick up the sounds of you tripping over yourself to follow him, and he almost laughs.

"wait wait zenin like the owners of that super huge company? the really rich ones? those zenins?!"

"that's the one," he smirks mirthlessly, pawing at the faucet. the sound of his family name drives away any remaining semblance of appetite he had. he sneaks a glance at your expression, finding a sliver of amusement at the wide eyed stare you're sporting. a quiet chuckle tumbles past his lips. "gonna tattle?"

your expression turns affronted as you scoff. "do you really have that little trust in me?"

"no. i trust you." he says it so blankly, a deadpan stare on his face as his jade eyes pin you to your spot. heat crawls up your neck, unaccustomed to such blatant honesty from the normally so closed off hybrid.

you clear your throat, and toji bites back a smile. the flustered expression on your face is new to him.

(there is warmth radiating off of your face that he has never felt before. he can see your eyes dart to the side, can see you shrink a little at his statement. his eyes trace the way your tongue darts out to wet your lips. this behavior is unfamiliar, but he thinks he likes it. flustered, embarrassed, shy—all because of him. the urge to brand himself with your name grows in his gut like a flame, hot and desperate.)

somehow he finds that his appetite has returned.

so so hungry.

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tojikai · 1 year ago

Text

Sundered 6: DREAMS

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, implied noncon, sexual assault

word count: 6.7k

He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldn’t be right.

“Megumi.” Toji warned, raising a finger at the breathless, laughing toddler. “No jumping on the bed. You’ll fall.” He put an apple in his mouth as he watched them. You combed the ends of your hair, leaning on the doorframe. Toji was sitting on the bed, while the two kids were playing beside him, jumping up and down.

“Yui, baby, can I ask you something?” He gently picked the little girl up, glancing at you as he put the bowl of fruit down. He sat her on his lap, “Who's Gumi's Dada?” Yui looked up at him, pointing a finger at his chest. “Alright, very good. How about you? Who’s your Dada?” You know what he’s trying to make her understand.

Yui just developed that habit because oftentimes, Megumi would run and call Toji. And what her playmates do, Yui does too. She would follow him screaming ‘Dada’ as well, but Toji never failed to gently correct her. “Toru!” She raised her short hands, clapping as she looked at you. “That’s nice. So, you call Satoru Dada, okay?” He tapped her cheek.

“Toji no? No Dada?” She shook her head at him, asking. “Yes, just look at your hair.” You butted in, pointing playfully at her as you walked towards them. You can feel Toji’s eyes on you as you sit down in front of them. You’re still not over the conversation you had earlier. But you’re not letting the kids hear about that.

Yui was pulling at her hair, trying to see the color and looking back at Toji’s to check. “See? You and Satoru look the same.” You pinched her cheek “Yui hair white.” Megumi pointed at his playmate, “Yeah, you’re getting good at colors!” You raised your hand, asking for a high five, which he gladly returned with a shy smile.

Toji looked at you as you scooted beside him, before placing a hand on your thigh. He’s ready to apologize, but he doesn’t know if he can let it go. Toji’s mind is still stuck on that day you told him Satoru was still in love with you. And if he’s being honest, it puts him in a really rough spot.

“It’s getting late.” You tapped on your phone, allowing it to light up. “Why are they not tired yet?” You yawned, feeling his thumb rub on your skin. “'cause they ate the cake.” He sighed, stretching his back before staring at you again, “What?” You asked, watching him shake his head. “We got things to talk about.” He nodded.

“I know. Later, we will.” You moved to him, pecking his lip quickly, “We can’t talk about it with the children in here.” Scrolling through your contacts, you pressed Satoru’s number. “Yui, come here, we’ll talk to Dada.” Tapping a quick message that you’ll call, you sat your child in between your thighs.

“Do you want to say sorry to Dada? You were mean to him earlier.” You poked her side, watching her nod before throwing something at her playmate.”’Gumi, sit down first.” Toji told the boy and he followed, but only to continue playing with Yui. Megumi’s a quiet kid but with playmates around, he can get hyper too.

“Wait, what if he’s asleep now?” You asked Yui, “Maybe we can apologize tomorrow when he picks you up, okay?” You kissed her cheek, hearing her whine, “Now Mama. Yui says sorry.” She tried to grab the phone. “Okay, okay. Alright. Wait a second, we’ll try.” You pressed the telephone icon. There were multiple rings but no answer.

“Dada’s asleep.” You pouted at her, “He said he wants to sleep early so he can see you early tomorrow too!” You tickled her side, making her flinch with a smile, followed by fits of giggle that made Toji chuckle. ‘Gumi quickly replaced you, laughing with the little girl as he pokes her tummy.

“Let them play like that, they’ll get tired quicker,” Toji uttered, putting a hand behind his head. “What happened earlier? I thought it was his schedule today.” He asked, referring to the events earlier. “You said that his mom was there.” He added recalling what you were explaining to him before you fought.

“Yeah, and he had to take Yui back here with me. We were supposed to eat Yui’s cake there before he takes me home because that’s what she wants. But of course, the devil ruins things.” You rolled your eyes just thinking about his Mom. You still haven’t told your mother about it, knowing how she gets when it’s about you.

“Does Satoru’s father know that she’s like that?” It’s now your turn to nod, “He’s just tired of her, actually. I know.” His father’s always busy but you’d never forget how he’d always take your infant for a walk to give her some sun.

“Oh, I thought your son wasn’t married yet. Look at this cute baby girl.” An elderly man who once visited said to him, It worried you that your child was born out of wedlock. You used to avoid going out with them to avoid this type of situation but his father didn’t mind.

“They’re not married yet. This one’s a…”mini advanced gift” for us.” He chuckled, lightly bouncing the infant in his arms. “Oh, she's like a little girl version of Satoru.” The elderly cooed when Yui opened her eyes. Whenever Satoru’s mother tries to argue with you and he’s around, he’d also say a sentence or two just to stop her.

“You’re not thinking! Getting a baby’s ear pierced. What kind of a mo—” She rambled on, claiming that I was harming her granddaughter when they visited Satoru’s house. “You’re crying about this more than the child who got her ears pierced.” Satoru’s father cut her off, rubbing his temples as he sat beside her.

Satoru was taking a call outside and his mother just had to take this opportunity to antagonize you. “I’m her grandmother. I got the right to protect her. She’s a newborn!” His mother was hysterical and if it weren’t for Satoru’s father, you would be talking back to her by now. “She’s 5 months old, Aiko! She’s an infant. Stop arguing with the mother.”

You sat far from them, not wanting to scare the baby in your arms. “She’s not capable of—” His mother tried to retort but Satoru’s father was getting fed up “You’re not capable of understanding.” With that, the fight came to an end and after a few minutes, Satoru was walking back to the living room. “What’s going on?” He asked but his mother could only scowl.

After a little while, the kids started to get sleepy. Yui was whining as she rubbed her eyes, and Megumi kept asking for the phone. “You could let him watch something that could help him sleep. Like the—” You were about to suggest but Toji was already picking the child up, answering: “Ah, no. My wife used to cut off his screen time 30 minutes before sleep.”

You remained silent for a minute as you took off Yui’s hair ties. “Let’s go to bed.” You whispered after combing the toddler’s hair. “Come on, so we can talk.” You lifted Yui up before walking to her room with Toji trailing behind you. When Megumi and Toji stay over, he and Yui share a bed. Thankfully, it was big enough for the two of them as Yui rolls around a lot in her sleep.

You were supposed to sleep over at Toji’s house tonight. But because of the fight that you had, you figured that sleeping here would be more comfortable. It was good that he always kept some extra clothes for Megumi in his car.

Now, the two toddlers are peacefully sleeping and you two are starting to feel the tension again.

“You can go first, what is bothering you?” He asked as the two of you walked back to your room. You don’t know why but for some reason, you feel embarrassed that you’re getting jealous of his wife. Not only that but it also makes you feel overreacting. You took a deep breath as you closed your eyes, telling yourself that it was better to say it now than to let it get worse.

“It’s because…you keep talking about your wife.” You let your shoulders slouch as you plopped on the bed, watching his face contort into disbelief. “My wife?” He repeated, he looked at you as if you just told him a dark secret. “Toji, look. When you want to tell or suggest something to me, Can you not… always say that your wife did this and that? I mean… I just get uncomfortable.”

There was a pregnant pause as he straightened up, pacing back and forth as he thought of an answer. You wished he didn’t take that long because now it’s making you feel like it’s hard to decide between the living and the dead. It’s making you feel like you're not even in his top five; like you only come after someone who can't even be here.

It’s making you feel like you’re just the second best. And that’s all you’ll ever know of him too.

“Look, I am simply putting her words out. You know how much they mean to me, you know how much and what she means to me—” He sat down on a chair across the room, explaining as calmly as he can but that hurts and before you know it, you’re already asking him: “Then, what do I mean to you?” Toji looked at you, mouth slightly ajar.

“You’re jealous? Of my dead wife?” He tried to clarify like it’s the most unbelievable thing you said. “It’s not jealousy, I just—” He cut you off by exhaling harshly, rubbing his face. “She’s not here, Y/N. I could only think of her, but you’re here with me. How could you feel jealous about that?” It’s only making you feel bad; like what you’re feeling is trivial.

“It’s because you make me feel that way.” You clenched your fist. This type of pain is making you angry; not because it hurts too much but because it’s pissing you off that after everything during these months, he could still make you feel like this. “I know that if you're given a chance to choose you wouldn't want me in her place, but I wish you didn't make me feel like that too much.”

“Do you really just expect me to never reminisce about her? She’s my first wife. I lost her so suddenly I didn’t even have time to process it.” Everything that he’s saying is wrong to you and you’re not afraid to express. You cannot live with a man who probably wishes that you were someone else. “Then, why did you even date me?” Your words were sharp, like how you’re looking at him.

“And why did you even date me when you still can’t get over your ex?” He retorted, “You won't let me call you a petname because he used to call you that. How is that any different?” Now, he’s just as aggravated as you and you hated it. You hated arguing with him even if it was just about simple things and now that it’s not something simple, it frustrates you even more.

“Satoru isn’t dead, Toji. I wished that you called me something else because it’s triggering, and I don’t get to control that.” You tried to keep your voice down as your hands clenched. “I do it because I’m protecting my peace, not because I compare the things you do.” You panted, looking at him with nothing but exasperation in your eyes.

“Toji, I’m starting to feel like a placeholder.” You put your hands on your knees, hanging your head low. “I’m starting to feel like a stand-in for your dead wife. And you would keep telling me what she used to do so I could perfect it.” Biting your lip as you shook your head, “I wish you’d just understand me. I really want to try with you…”

He leaned back on the chair, keeping his eyes on you. “Look, Y/N. I’m sorry.” He spoke after a couple of seconds, “I can’t promise to not think about her because that person; that woman is the mother of my son.”

“And I want to try with you too, you know that. Maybe this will all get better with time. But I can’t find my peace knowing that he’s just there, loving you.” The room felt so big now that there was a space between you and Toji. A space that is bigger than the actual size of your room.

“Then, what should I do?” You asked him, genuinely clueless as to what he wanted to happen. “I don’t know, Y/N.” He shook his head, sighing. “What should you do when someone keeps trying to get to you?” There was an obvious answer to that.

“You know I can’t just do that. He’s the father of my daughter, Toji. You know where I’m coming from—” You looked at him, your eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t. He literally told you he regrets you and your daughter, isn’t that enough for you to take Yui away?” You shook your head, eyes tearing up as you realized what he just said.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that. Babe—” He walked towards you, grasping the weight of his words. “Don’t touch me.” You shut your eyes, not wanting to shed a tear anymore. “Just…just don’t talk to me right now, Toji.” Your hands gestured for him to stay back as you shook your head.

“I can’t believe you’d use my pain against me.” You whispered to him as you stood up, walking out of the room.

—------------------------------------------------

“What about…Yui?” Your eyes glimmered as you looked at him, “Ah…I like that.” Satoru smiled up at you, before leaning down. “Yui? Do you like that—” Before he could even finish his sentence, you stared at each other with wide eyes. “She just kicked…” He laughed, placing his hand on your bump.

“Yui. How’s my little girl?” He asked again, earning another kick after a couple of seconds. “That’s so cute, Satoru.” You gushed, happy tears pooling in your eyes. “She likes that name.” He sighed, kissing your stomach before standing up. The sinking sun made your eyes gleam.

“She’ll be here soon.” He kissed your forehead, putting his hand around your waist as he closed his eyes feeling the wind blow on his face. At that moment, he felt like he’s got everything already. At first, you talked about how everything you’ll do is just for the child.

But as months went by, seeing your face first thing in the morning and last thing in the night has already become Satoru’s favorite thing.

“What are you thinking about?” You looked up at him as you stood there on his balcony, holding his hands on your stomach. “You. So, kiss me.” He leaned down as you giggled, pecking his lips. “More.” He intertwined your fingers with his, brushing his nose on your outer ear until you gave him another one.

You wouldn’t have met if Satoru didn’t enter the bar you were working at, and that thought made Satoru grateful that he did because this is something he wouldn't want to miss.

“Y/N, stay with me.” He whispered, feeling you lean your body on him. “I love you...Y/N”

“Kiss me…” And so Naomi did, putting her lips on his as she tried to prepare him. She closed her eyes as he heard him hum, speaking other words unknown but she knew that it was to urge her to continue. “More…” The word made her exhale, relaxing more and more as he coaxed her, probably half asleep.

Maybe he’s just too sleepy and drunk. She thought, putting her hands on his chest to support herself. She raised her lower half, aligning herself with him. She traced her fingers on his arms before lacing them with his. She felt his warmth as she took a deep breath, thinking one last time before throwing it all away, frustrated.

She was ready to put it in, take all of him in her, and just let it all happen. You were a stranger to Satoru when he chose to keep a life with you. But I’m his girlfriend; his salvation and love. Satoru wouldn’t deny me and his child to me. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to find the final push to proceed.

But it only took one word from him for her to come back down. Her temperature dropped low as she felt her blood run cold.

“...Y/N.” Naomi halted her movements, eyes wide in shock. Did he just call your name in his sleep? “...Stay with me.” His brows furrowed in his sleep, and Naomi could only look as his image got blurry because of her tears. What? “I love you…Y/N.” She clasped her hand over her chest, trying to move away.

He’s dreaming about you? All this time? Tears fell from her face as she tried not to make another movement or sound. And he said he loves you? Her initial suspicions were right. Naomi’s throat constricted as she held in her sob. “No…” She whispered, finding it hard to breathe. Her ears were starting to ring as she struggled to get up.

*Ring. Ring. Ring.*

Naomi’s breath was knocked out of her lungs as she noticed Satoru’s phone ringing and vibrating beside his pillow. He can’t wake up. Not now… She thought as she forced her weak knees to work and grab the phone without startling him but it was impossible as it was right beside his head, partially covered by the pillow.

Before she could even get it, Satoru stirred awake, blinking his eyes up at her. “Naomi?” His eyes scanned her before realizing the situation she put the both of them in. “What the fuck?” His eyes went wide, trying to get up. Naomi was panicking, stepping off of him as he looked at her with confusion and disgust.

“S-Satoru, it isn’t like—” She tried to hold his hand, face wet with tears as he tried to get away from her, “What the fuck are you trying to do?” Pulling his pants before standing up. She picked up her silk robe, trying to give herself some decency as what she did started to sink into her. “Were you—fuck!” Satoru’s frustration was obvious, making Naomi flinch as she wept.

“Were trying to sleep with me while I was out?” His eyes were filled with emotions; dismay, disgust, fear, and disbelief. The last thing Satoru remembered was staring at his phone before he dozed off. Then, he remembered dreaming about you. Satoru rubbed his forehead with the heel of his palm. He knows that he shouldn’t have taken shot after shot even if he’s at home.

Satoru’s a lightweight and Naomi knows that. Could it be… “You made me drink on purpose.” His voice lowered as he pointed a finger at her. “No…I didn’t. I—” She tried to utter, voice coming out as a squeak, “I am not asking a question. I know that you did.” Satoru gritted through his teeth.

“Do you know what can happen to you?” Satoru walked towards her, glowering. “I could put you behind bars for this, Naomi.” Satoru was fuming, he didn't even know where the alcohol in his body went. He just knows that he’s dizzy. Raising his hand only to put it back down again, he doesn’t want to risk anything.

“What were you trying to do?” He spoke in a low voice, reaching for his phone on the bed. Your name was written in bold letters when he looked at his notifications. So, it was you who was calling. Once again saving him from whatever type of hell he got himself into. “N-nothing happened.” She shook her head, trying to convince him with her eyes.

“I’m not asking you if something happened or not, I’m asking about what you were trying to do.” His jaw and teeth hurt by how hard he is biting down. She sat there with tears cascading down her cheek while Satoru waited for her. “Please, don’t make me do this—”

He can't believe that a face as angelic and tame as this could do something so evil; so vile.

“Don’t make you do what? You feel embarrassed now but you weren’t embarrassed earlier when you were assaulting me!” He snapped, watching her eyes widen and her fear flashes on her face. “It’s not that, Satoru. I wasn’t trying to…” She walked to him, grabbing his hand with her cold ones. Satoru snatched his hand away, taking a step back.

His glares sent daggers to her heart. Never once has he been like this to her. “I…We were having problems. I thought that a…a child—” Naomi stopped talking, crying even more as Satoru closed his eyes and shook his head. He could tell that he was holding back on her.

“We were having problems so you thought having a child would fix it.” He finished for her, biting his lip. Her tendencies scared Satoru. He remembered how he decided not to tell her about his feelings for you earlier when he had every chance to because he felt bad. And now that one decision almost ruined him. “I’m gonna tell you now. Nothing will fix this.”

Naomi could feel her heart crack and break at his words. “Is it because of her?” She scowled, thinking about his mother’s words. “Is it because she got a boyfriend? Satoru, she's only trying to make you jealous—” She tried to explain, desperate to make him listen to her. “I don’t fucking care. I don’t care if she doesn’t take me back, I don’t care if she's only doing that to spite me.” Stopping, he took a step towards her.

“Naomi, I don’t give a fuck if she hurts me back because I fucking deserve it.” He panted, “For all the shit I put her through when I decided to be with you instead of fixing things as I promised her.” His mouth quivers as memories flash across his vision.

The day he let go, the day he started over for himself, the day he chose only for himself while you were out there waiting for a change.

“You know… I don’t regret meeting you. Because you helped me. You were a great friend to me. But I regret choosing you over Y/N. We should’ve never been something like this.” He sighed deeply, listening to her sniffles and apologies. “I should’ve just told you earlier that I’m still in love with her.” With that sentence, all her questions got answered. Naomi's world came apart.

“You’re getting checked tomorrow.” He stood up straight, grabbing his phone as he headed for the door. “Satoru, nothing happened, there’s no need to—” She tried to go after him, stopping when he paused by the door. “I don’t trust you.” He spoke before stepping out, leaving Naomi in the room with nothing but her broken heart, shame, and humiliation.

Satoru sat on the couch, running his hands through his hair. He stared blankly at the dark corner of his room, thinking about all the wrong paths he took. So much has happened and it’s not even a whole day yet. First, his mother ruined his child’s family day, and now— Cutting off his own thoughts, Satoru started to suspect something.

Naomi said she spoke to his mother. Is she, by any chance, involved with the decisions she came up with?

As much as Satoru hated to think about it, with the way his mother was acting, he couldn't help himself from thinking that she told Naomi something that made her do this. Even if she didn’t directly command her to do that, she could still be involved. Tears pooled in his eyes as he thought of it all. He did his everything to try and understand his mom, to be a good son to her.

“Naomi,” Storming back to the room, she found Naomi speaking on her phone. Terror appeared as she looked at him, hurriedly ending the call. Trudging towards her, she tried to put her phone away but with their size, it was impossible. “Who are you talking to?” He was far too angry to listen to her pleas and calls of his name.

She desperately tried to get it back but she was too late. “So, I was right? You talked to my mom about this.” He laughed bitterly, clenching the phone in his hand. “Satoru, let me explain, please. I won’t lie. We had a chat, we—” Naomi rambled on but Satoru was already pressing the call button, walking out as she chased after him.

“What?! You came up with that plan, deal with it!” Satoru can tell how annoyed she was by how she immediately answered, not even thinking about who it was. Satoru tried to keep Naomi away as she tried to grab the phone, calling her mom. “Did you coach her to violate your own son?” Satoru felt nauseous. He wants to throw up everything in his stomach.

“Satoru? No, honey, I didn’t tell her to—” Her voice cracked, shaking and tears finally escaped Satoru’s eyes. Naomi could only stand there, watching the man she loves break down because of what she did. Because of what they did. She should’ve listened to her conscience when it was telling her to stop.

Her desires brought her nothing but a quick, frail pleasure and a lifetime of agony. They gave her something to regret for the rest of her life.

“I’ll be in contact with Dad. And you won’t ever hear from me again once I settle all of this.” His voice was hoarse, low, and rough. Not giving himself a chance to hear his mother’s cries, Satoru ended the call. Before Naomi could even talk he was already harshly shrugging her touch off of him, “Don’t even try to explain. It’s clear to me now.”

“Satoru, can you just listen for a bit, I didn’t want to do that—'' She choked on her own sobs, “But you did! And I could get you arrested for it.” Satoru threatened, making her shake her head in fear. “You’ll get tested tomorrow.” He pointed a finger at her face, before turning to leave.

Entering his child’s room, Satoru sat on the bed, letting himself crumble and fall apart.

—-------------------------------------------

“Mama, mama!” You woke up to the feeling of someone jumping on the bed beside you. “Eat, Y/N. Let’s eat.” Looking down, you found two children looking at you in their pajamas. “Alright, alright. I’ll be up in a minute, calm down. “ You rubbed your eyes, smiling even as you remembered how the other night went.

After an hour of sitting in the kitchen, Toji came out. You refused to look at his face, but you can feel his cautious movements around you. You subtly wiped your cheeks, trying to hide the fact that you cried. You always know that it’s alright to cry to him, but for some reason, you feel like you’re so far away from him right now.

You felt like he was holding a weapon against you. One shot could be enough to tear you down again.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, after a couple of seconds of standing in front of you. You looked down, leaning on the kitchen counter. “I didn’t mean to say that.” Toji took a seat on one of the chairs, patiently waiting for you to respond. Sighing, you looked up at him, seeing him looking at you with contrite in his eyes.

“You’re a father too, Toji.” You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear, before letting your hand rest on your nape. “I know, Y/N. I shouldn’t have said that.” Toji admits that he felt like you were being unfair to him. He didn’t realize that he was the one being unfair to Satoru when he’s obviously trying to stay at a distance.

“Please, understand that I’m not asking you to forget your wife. I just don’t like feeling like I’m…like I’m not enough.” You swallowed right after saying it, as if it’s a strong medicine that tasted bad enough to numb your tongue. “I’ve had enough of feeling like that.” It was barely above whisper, Toji didn’t really catch it but he wrapped you in his arms.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Kissing your forehead, he felt you relax in his arms. Toji hated himself for making you feel like this again. He hated that he let himself project his feelings on you. The jealousy was coming from him and not you. He failed to understand your point because he was blinded by his bitterness over the fact that you and Satoru are finally getting along.

He didn’t even think of the child involved.

“I’m tired. I just want to sleep.” You murmured to his chest, “Alright, alright. Let’s go.” With that, you and Toji went to bed; with his arms around you and your back against his chest. You didn’t want your head against his chest, you can’t bring yourself to look in his eyes.

You were afraid that you’d hear a different name if you listened to the beat of his heart. It would be painful to see a different woman in the reflection in his eyes.

Picking up your phone, you felt the two kids lay beside you. There were texts from Satoru. You initially assumed that it’s probably because of your missed call from the night before but your brows furrowed in confusion when you saw how early he sent them. 4:37 in the morning.

Opening the messages, you heard Toji enter the room. “What are you two doing? I said "no jumping on the bed.”” Your eyes were glued to the screen of your phone, taking in every single word in Satoru’s messages. “Good morning,” You felt a kiss on your forehead, “You okay?” Toji asked, curious as to why you looked worried first thing in the morning.

“Satoru’s got matters, he can’t pick Yui up until later today.” You spoke, opening the next message. I saw your call last night. I couldn’t call back because it was late. I fell asleep early. “It’s probably because of what happened yesterday.” You caught a sigh escape from Toji’s lips. “He’ll be ok. He won’t let you get caught up in this.”

He sat down next to you as he looked at the screen, you didn’t bother hiding it, not wanting to make him feel like you’re hiding something. “Do you want to talk to him?” You looked at him as soon as the words escaped his lips. “It’s okay. He would say that if he needed that.” You replied, looking away after giving him a small smile.

“Well then let’s have breakfast, I cooked something. The kids woke up really early.” He chuckled, pecking your cheek. “I’ll be there.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you as you kissed his ear. “Thank you so much.” You whispered to him, feeling his weight on you.

“Anything for you.” Only Toji knows how much he meant those words.

—-------------------------------------------

“It will be out in two days.” Satoru threw the car keys on the couch, before walking towards the stairs. “You can take all your belongings. If I–“ He trailed but Naomi cut him off, “Satoru, I’m sorry. I was just desperate to–“ He gave her a warning look, making her look down. He’s been nothing but cold to her.

“You’re desperate so you tried to do that to me?” He shook his head, “You know, I’m sorry too. I regret that I didn’t just tell you what was really going on. I should've just broken up with you that day. I thought I could save it if I tried, even just for the sake of the time we were together and what you did for me, but I can’t. This wouldn't have happened, you wouldn't have gotten a chance to do that.” Satoru was getting harsher and harsher with his words.

Filled with mixed emotions, he watched as the woman he trusted cried again. She’s been crying since the night before but he couldn’t find it in himself to comfort her. He doesn’t even want to be under the same roof as her at that moment. When he thinks about what could’ve happened if he didn’t wake up on time, or if you didn’t call, all he feels is dread.

“I will be the first to touch the test results.” Satoru declared as he clenched his jaw, “Satoru…can’t we just wait until—” Naomi tried to grab his arm, looking at him with teary, pleading eyes. She’s shaking, and her fingers are freezing. “Wait until what? ‘Till I can’t go back? ‘Til you achieve what you’re trying to do?! ‘Til you ruin every hope that I have?!” The woman cowers in fear and embarrassment.

“Naomi, are you not scared? Of this mess that you got me in?” He hissed at her face, watching her look down as she sobbed. She’s visibly trembling at this point, “You should be ashamed.” Satoru nodded his head, clenching his fists. “For what you’ve done... you should be ashamed.” He walked out of the room, slamming the door on her as she fell down to her knees, wailing.

Locking the door, Satoru changed quickly, before laying down on the bed. His head’s been killing him since last night; hangover, sleeplessness and stress are continuously tearing through every muscle. He looked at his phone, seeing the hundred missed calls from his mom who probably came earlier, as expected, when they went to the hospital.

Satoru was just about to put his phone down when it started to vibrate. Your contact with a picture of Yui and you flashed on the screen. He didn’t waste any time answering the video call. Seeing his little girl made all the tiredness leave his body. She looked down at the phone, smiling at him.

“Dada! Dada, Hi!” Waving at him, “Hey, baby. I’ll pick you up in a bit, alright? Dada just needs to nap.” He watched her scrunch her brows, seeing your frowning face for a second. “Yui don’t want.” She whined, hearing the word ‘nap.’ Laughing, Satoru saw you peek on the screen, “Not Yui. Dada will nap.”

“Take your time to rest. You look really tired.” You talked, holding a baby plate in your hand. “I just noticed she’s starting to look like you.” He chuckled, sighing as his eyes blinked slowly. You remained silent on the other end of the line, feeding a spoon full to the toddler.

“What were you going to say to Dada?” You talked to Yui, wiping her chin. “Sorry. Yui, uhm, Yui not nice.” The view kept shaking as she struggled to hold the phone in her small hands. “It’s ok, baby. Dada will buy you the cake, as promised.” The way her eyes lit up as she heard the word made Satoru forget about his problems.

After a little bit of talking and watching his daughter eat, you took the phone from her but still kept the camera on her face. “Say bye-bye now, let Dada sleep for a bit.” You spoke, and the kid obediently followed, waving her father goodbye, “Bye-bye. Dada.” She looked up at you, “See you later,” Repeating each word you say, Satoru could only tell her how much he loves her.

He wished to tell you that he loves you too but that wouldn’t be right.

“I’ll call later. “ He talked to you, hearing you hum, “Alright, rest well.” With that, you ended the call, leaving Satoru on the verge of sleep. He prayed to dream of you and maybe even do the things that he wished to do with you. He wished that he could just ask you to hold him before he breaks down again.

He realized that all this time, it’s you, it’s your arms that he needed to put him back together again permanently and not just as some sort of comfort that could so easily break. If he had a choice to turn back time, he’d turn it all the way back to when you, Yui, and he were together; not before he met you.

Because even if his relationship with you began with an obligation, it was still his choice to love you.

—------------------------------------------------------

TWO DAYS LATER

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. It’s alright.” He spoke to the phone, struggling to put his seatbelt on. Satoru’s been anxious, he couldn’t even sleep properly. Today, he’ll be receiving the test results. “I just got back from Toji’s, and he’s got something to do so he couldn’t take me to pick Yui up.” You sighed from the other line.

You were about to take a cab to Satoru’s house but he insisted that he’ll just drop Yui off back to you. “Let’s talk about the car next time, okay? So, you don’t have to commute.” He reminded, hearing you hum. “Yeah, ok. I’ll tell Toji about it too.” With that, you bid farewell, telling him to drive safely before dropping the call.

“Alright, let’s go to Mama.” Satoru looked over at his daughter who was sucking on her binky. She nodded eagerly, wiggling her little legs as she claps her small hands. Satoru didn’t tell you about what happened with Naomi. He doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to. That night was still clear to him. He closed his eyes, grabbing the steering wheel before starting to drive.

The car ride to your house was filled with little giggles and occasional singing of his little girl. She slowed Satoru down, preventing his mind from overheating from thinking about things as she playfully calls him every now and then. "Dada! Yui hair!" She pulled at the strands, scrunching her nose as she laughed. "Dada hair!" Her fingers pointed at him.

Satoru smiled at her through the mirror, instantly understanding what she was implying. "Ah, yes, we have the same hair." He cooed, making the little girl cover her eyes as she smiled, "You're a smart kid." In no time, the two of them reached your apartment. The kid kept hugging her Dad as they walked up your steps, as if sensing his distress.

"Baby!" You opened the door for them, kissing Yui's cheek. He can see your eyes scan his face, a hint of worry was etched on your features, "Would you like to come in? How did things go?" You were reluctant to ask the question, worried that it might be a bit too private for you to know. But it looked like he needed it when a small, sad smile appeared on his lips.

"Not good," He sighed, "I'll tell you about it some other time." Satoru went inside but only to put down his daughter's bag. "I, uh, have a delivery coming today, so…" Nodding, your mouth formed an 'O' shape, "Alright, you better get back then. Say bye to Dada." You adjusted your daughter on your hip, urging her to give her father a kiss.

"Bye love, I'll see you in a few days." He pecked the kids forehead, patting her hair and smiling at you as he went. His head, his heart and his feet felt heavy as he walked away. It's like the second Satoru left your apartment, his headache was back knowing that whatever's waiting for him at his house could be another obstacle to pass. And the worst; it could be something that he can never run away from.

He arrived only a couple of minutes earlier than the mailman. The envelope felt like a tonne in his hand as he took it, signing quickly before thanking the worker. Satoru stared at it as he walked to his living room, sitting down on the couch when he felt like his knees were about to give up. With cold fingers, he opened it, going directly to the section where he could find his peace.

Eyes widening as he breathed out the air he didn't know was holding in, he slammed the papers on the table as he pulled his phone out and dialed the number he's been hoping to call ever since the incident.

"Dad, I need to talk to you."

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ddejavvu · 9 months ago

Note

anakin being so pussy drunk that he cant sleep bc he didn’t fuck you at least once that day but you’ve already gone to sleep. he can’t help himself seeing you all so pretty and peaceful sound asleep that he doesn’t even bother to wake you up just sinks his cock in without a second thought.

does anyone know where to get a wet floor sign cause i gushed

obvious cw for somnophilia, very quick and fleeting mention of anal (no actual activity), don't like don't read.

this post is 18+, minors dni.

His cock is already hard from the moment he steps through the door- perhaps if he hadn't spent the elevator ride thinking about sinking it into your wet, warm cunt, he wouldn't be so inconvenienced.

But it's hard, and aching, and only getting worse, so he sheds his Jedi garb as quickly as humanly possible. A belt here, a tunic there, boots sloppily discarded by the door. By the time he gets to your bedroom he's wearing only an undershirt and briefs, but he disposes of the thin cotton shirt in the doorway.

You're sleeping. Illuminated gorgeously by the two of four moons that are visible from Coruscant's surface. They spill a pale halo of light around your sleeping form that catches on your sleek satin gown, pools deliciously in the space just beneath your thighs where the chub of your ass takes over and- Anakin's even stiffer.

It's a gift from whatever god Anakin unconsciously believes in. Whether it's a local legend from his days on Tatooine, or the will of the Force, some higher power has shed ethereal light on your body, and Anakin feels called to indulge in its divine gift.

You're laid out on your stomach with one knee tucked up to your side, and an arm thrown beneath your ribs to offset the heft of your breasts. You complain about pain when you lie on your stomach for too long- Anakin's surprised that you're sleeping like this. But he is not complaining, not when it offers him a perfect view of the gentle curve of your mound that rests between your thighs, parted to offer your leg enough room to bend the way that it does.

His cock begs for your pussy, tearing and ripping and struggling against the fabric of his briefs, and when he yanks them down his thighs his cock springs so tightly that it hits his stomach, leaving a sticky smear there.

No matter - things will get messier.

Anakin can't spot a wet stain on the pad of your panties, but it's no matter. He can supplement until your body catches up. He retrieves a bottle of lube from your bedside drawer- almost empty, seriously, do you guys fuck that much? -and pools some on his palm, stroking his dick with it so that it smears over his length.

He has to be careful not to work himself up too much with his own hand- no self-achieved orgasm will ever be as good as what he'll experience in your cunt.

His dick is properly slicked now, but he squirts a generous stream of the stuff onto your cunt once he pulls back your panties, unable to resist the urge to spread it through the split of your ass.

That's not the hole he's going for tonight, but he's never been able to keep his hands to himself.

Hands braced on either side of your body- one slick with lube - he leans his weight on the mattress, and draws his wet hand back to his cock. He needs no help after the initial guidance of the first thrust, and once he's gently pushed his cock through your artificially slickened entrance, he huffs out a sigh that blows hot against your back. The slip you're wearing is low-cut enough that the heat hits your bare skin, and he's not sure if it's the penetration or the sudden gust of air that makes you shiver.

You let out a strangled moan- something between surprised and pleasure, and Anakin is relived to feel his cock sliding smoothly through your cunt. You nag him about wasting lube; he's a very generous pour, but if it means you're feeling pleasure and not discomfort, he'll empty the whole bottle.

He dips down to kiss your cheek, his broad shoulders flexed against his muscled back- not that you're awake to enjoy it.

"Shh, s'okay angel," He groans, drawing in a shaky breath as he drags his hips backwards, pushing in once more to the heat of your cunt, "It's- it's okay, I just- agh, I need this. Just- let me have this, angel, let me- let me take it."

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker scenario #anakin skywalker oneshot #anakin skywalker one-shot #anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker headcanon #anakin skywalker headcanons #anakin skywalker hcs #anakin skywalker hc #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker blurb #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin skywalker dialogue #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker smut

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dr-spencer-reids-queen · 12 days ago

Text

60 Seconds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~3.1k

Warnings: heavy angst, rape (explicit), being bound and gagged and blindfolded, kidnapping, heavy trauma

Request by anon: Would you write something with Spencer x reader (s7 ish doesn't really matter) where you're taken or kidnapped and when they find you, you keep yelling like 'no, no, don't hurt me' and shit like that cuz you don't realize it's them, and Spencer rushes to you and holds you but you're like trashing and hitting his chest until you break down in sobs pls that would be the cutest help. Also love me some team reactions to it happening skskdks OKAY BYE

Summary: One minute can change everything. A lot can happen in sixty seconds, and your entire world is turned upside down when you’re taken off the street in broad daylight. Spencer and the team fight to save you while you’re fighting to stay alive.

Square Filled: laid on a stretcher for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Everything can change in one minute.

That’s sixty seconds.

You pass by the bank you and Spencer have a joint account with. Three seconds. You see a woman and her child playing with bubbles across the street at the park. One second. You wait for the crosswalk light to turn green. Twenty seconds. You cross the street with a group of people. Ten seconds. You stop at a flower stand and buy two roses, one for Spencer and one for you. Twenty seconds. You turn the corner onto a desolate part of the sidewalk. Two seconds.

A van pulls up next to you and two men reach out and grab you. Six seconds.

One minute.

You’ve heard of stories where people are taken in plain sight and in daylight, but you never think it’ll happen to you. You’ve heard stories of victims being tortured, raped, and abused, but you never think it’ll happen to you. You’ve heard stories about victims needing a lifetime of therapy knowing it won’t fix them, but you never think it’ll happen to you.

Until it does.

Spencer moves about the office with you on his mind, excited to go on a lunch date with you. You’re not part of the BAU but you try to visit as much as you can. You have your own art business that you sell out of your apartment. You like to paint, make vases, and occasionally sew. Business has been booming for the last year so you’re not worried about not finding a “real” job any time soon.

Lunch time comes but you don’t show up, and Spencer thinks you might have gotten lost in a project. That tends to happen a lot, so he calls you to see if you’re going to be free any time soon. You don’t answer.

“Reid, JJ got something for us.”

Spencer puts his phone away and will call you later when he has a minute. Just like that, you’re pushed to the back of his mind. He has victims to save and bad guys to put away.

He just doesn’t realize that the victim this time is you.

The two men who took you were only the delivery boys. The men who have you are much worse. Spencer must be on a case if he hasn’t tried to contact you. Maybe he has. You’re not sure. You’re also not sure how many hours have passed or if it’s the next day. Time stops when all you can think about is pain.

They put a blindfold on you as soon as they stole you from the street so you’re not sure where you are in the world or what the room even looks like. All you know is that it stinks in here like dirt, sweat, and blood.

You’re hanging from the middle of the room by your wrists, your toes barely touching the ground. You’ve been suspended like this for so long that you’ve lost all feeling in your hands due to the rope biting into your wrists and cutting off circulation. If you’re lucky, they’ll fall off.

You’re stripped bare to just your panties. Those men love easy access where they can get it. Cuts adorn your once smooth skin and dried blood cake down your body. If you don’t give them what they want, they get violent. You’re surprised you’re not dead right now. They’ve beaten, raped, and abused your body multiple times in a single day.

You just hope that wherever you are, Spencer comes soon. You’re not sure how much of this you can take.

Spencer comes home after a grueling seven days in the field. All he wants to do is take a hot shower and snuggle in bed with you.

“Y/N? You home?” Spencer turns on the light but you’re not there to greet him like you normally are. “Y/N?”

He walks to the bedroom thinking you’re sleeping but frowns when he sees the bed is perfectly made as if no one has used it in a while. He checks the guest room but you’re not in there either. He takes out his phone and calls you but it goes straight to voicemail. He checks the Life 360 app only to see your phone is located in some ditch on the side of the road.

Now he starts to panic.

“Can’t get enough of this team? You just saw us for a week straight,” JJ jokes when she answers his call.

“Is Y/N with you?”

“No.”

“Have you seen her or talked to her all week?”

“No. What’s going on?”

“I think she’s missing,” he panics.

“Who, calm down, Spencer. Why do you think she’s missing?”

“She’s not home, she hasn’t been answering all week, her phone goes straight to voicemail, and I can see her location is in a ditch somewhere off the side of the road. You don’t think…”

“I don’t think what?”

“Do you think she was taken by the Daylight Killer?”

The Daylight Killer has been on the BAU’s radar for quite some time now. They take innocent women off the street in broad daylight only to return them back to their families after weeks. During those weeks, these women endure harsh psychological and physical torture. The BAU hasn’t been able to capture this man because they don’t think he’s working alone. If anything, it’s an organization that keeps him hidden from the authorities.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, Spence.”

“JJ, she always answers her phone. Her biggest fear is me not picking up mine because of our job.”

“I’ll get the team together.”

Spencer immediately heads back to work and meets the team in the briefing room. They already have the victims of the Daylight Killer posted on the bulletin boards despite not having concrete evidence that you’ve been taken by him.

“What do we know?”

“I have already looked at the security cameras around your apartment, this building, and everything in between.” Penelope puts pictures of you on the screen for all to see. “She was last seen walking down Main Street when she stopped at a flower vendor on the corner of Main Street and Dobson Road. She turns the corner and continues to walk toward the BAU.” Penelope puts up three more pictures, one of you walking, another with a car parked right next to you, and the other with you gone. “This car stops next to her and she isn’t seen on any other cameras.”

“Did you get a plate?” Derek asks.

“Only a partial, but the system hasn’t come up with anything yet. You’ll be the first to know.”

“What if it is him? Do you know what he does to his victims?” Spencer asks with tears in his eyes.

“We need to speak to the survivors and see if they can remember their time with him.”

“You want to put them through that pain again?” Emily asks.

“What other choice do we have?” Rossi asks.

It’s safe to say that the victims of the Daylight Killer were less than thrilled to have to relive their experiences. Some of them are still in the hospital recovering from their injuries while others are locked away in their houses too afraid to go outside. There are only two girls who are brave enough to come forward. Confident that if they help the BAU, the men will get caught.

“If you need to stop at any time, please let us know,” JJ says gently.

“Okay,” Stacy, one of the victims, whispers.

“Close your eyes and focus on the sound of my voice.” Stacy does, and she wrings her fingers together nervously. “When you were taken, do you remember what you could feel?”

“You mean besides their hands on me?”

“I can only imagine this is hard for you but don’t focus on them.” Stacy nods and tries to relax. “Focus on the car ride. Was it bumpy? Smooth?”

“Smooth but then it became bumpy like they were driving on rocks or a dirt road.”

“How long were you on that road for?”

“It seemed like hours but probably ten minutes.”

“Then what?”

“They parked and took me out of the car. I was still blindfolded.”

“What was underneath your feet? Rocks? Dirt? Concrete?”

“Sticks. Dirt.”

“So, you were in the woods. What did you smell?”

“Dirt. Nature. It was musty.”

“What did you hear?”

“Insects. However, they stopped once we started walking.”

Spencer leaves the room after hearing enough from Stacy. So, they are keeping their victims in the woods. What woods, is the question.

The best part about you is Spencer. He brings out the best in you and pushes you to do your best in everything you do, especially with your art business. He never goes a day without telling you he loves you, and he shows it with the little things he does. He leaves out little notes for you on the kitchen counter before work, he buys you cookies and other sweets before he comes home, and he gets you flowers every single week.

Even in bed, he’s super loving. Sure, he’s been rough with you a few times but your favorite is how gentle he can be. He can spend hours in bed just worshiping you before giving you his sock. He fits so well inside of you like he was made for you. Even now, you can picture him bending you over and sliding his cock into your pussy. He touches your skin as if he’s mapping every inch of your body. He rarely leaves behind any marks because it reminds him that he can hurt you. He’s seen too much in the field to leave marks on you.

You’re pulled from your dream with Spencer when one of the men slaps your ass hard. His dick feels nothing like Spencer’s. He doesn’t care if he stretches you too much or if he doesn’t fit. He’s still slamming into you from behind and chasing his release. Your entire body aches from the pain but you refuse to give him and the other men the one thing they crave.

You refuse to cry.

You slip back into your dream and replace the man raping you with Spencer who loves you.

“According to the camera’s timestamp, she’s been missing for a week. Do you know what these men do to these women? What are they doing to her right now?” Spencer panics.

“I know it’s hard but you can’t think like that. We’re doing everything we can to try and find her. Right now, we have two women who remember being in the woods which means this unsub or unsubs need privacy. They can’t risk anyone finding them so they have to be isolated. That narrows down a lot of places,” Hotch says.

“They can’t be far either because Virginia PD is always on the scene whenever they release these women. They have to have a place close enough to where they can grab someone and release another in the span of hours.”

“Garcia, anything?”

Penelope pulls up a map of the area and circles the places where it’s likely the unsubs are located. All are in densely forested areas with nothing around them for miles.

“Based on the survivors’ accounts of being in the woods and the fact that they both said they weren't in the car for long once they got onto the dirt road, I estimate that the unsubs are located in one of five places. Every single victim has been released at a gas station before walking into town where there is reception.”

“That’s too many to go to. They could see us coming and leave. How are we going to narrow down this list?”

JJ comes marching into the room with a look of determination and worry on her face.

“We got another woman missing. Melissa Summers was out jogging when she was taken. This time, there were witnesses. They witnessed a ‘dirty white van’ and ‘two men grabbing Melissa off the streets’. They saw a partial plate which matches the one who took Y/N.”

Spencer goes rigid at the news because there are two reasons why they took someone early. They normally keep their victims for two or three weeks before releasing them and grabbing someone new. You’ve been gone for just over a week. Either they changed their minds and let you go early or you’re dead.

Spencer doesn’t have to say anything for everyone to know what he’s thinking.

“Reid, don’t go there,” Derek warns.

“Too late.”

Spencer leaves the room just before he bursts into tears. He can handle being by your side while you heal from their abuse but he can’t handle the thought of you being dead.

You wish that was the case. You wish they had killed you. After a week and a half of abusing your body for their pleasure, they leave you to rot on a dirty mattress with your hands tied behind you, duct tape over your mouth, and a blindfold over your eyes. The door opens but you don’t have enough energy to react. You’ve been saving your energy for when it matters the most.

“What should we do with her?”

They must have another girl if they’re already talking about disposing of you.

“We should just kill her, boss,” another man says. “She doesn’t make it fun. She doesn’t cry or beg like the others.”

“We should just leave her here and move on. She hasn’t seen our faces. She doesn’t look like she’ll talk.”

“Enough. Both of you. I’ll decide what to do with her when I’m done with her.”

The door closes and you’re back to lying in the darkness.

“Okay, so according to her parents, Melissa goes on a run on the same route every night. It’s on Mason Trail located next to a gas station. It’s one of the ones Penelope circled,” JJ says.

“We should go check it out,” Spencer suggests. “What harm will it do? The best case is we find the men responsible. Worst case is she’s not there and we try again. We have to do something.”

“I’m with Reid on this one,” Derek says.

“If we’re wrong and she’s not there, it could ruin everything,” Rossi says.

“You’re both right,” Hotch says. “Let’s go.”

The team, as quietly as they can, make their way to the house deep in the woods located near Mason Trail. It’s not quite night but Hotch keeps the headlights off to prevent anyone from seeing the sleek black cars. Virginia PD is right behind them because, despite the concern about this not being the location, Spencer has a feeling it is.

They park several hundred yards away from the house and finish the rest of the way on foot. If this is the house and someone is home, they won’t take kindly to Derek announcing that the FBI is at their door. Instead, he kicks down the door and just barges in.

There are four men sitting around the table playing poker who all jump up from shock. They reach for their guns but the FBI is quicker. Derek, Rossi, Hotch, and Emily take down the four men while the police search the house to clear the other rooms.

“Where is she?” Spencer asks once they are all in handcuffs.

“Dead.”

“There’s a door to the basement,” one of the officers announces.

Spencer refuses to believe you’re dead. Hotch leaves the unsubs in the care of Virginia PD and follows Spencer down to the basement. Light floods the room and Spencer pauses when he sees Melissa strung up wearing nothing but her panties, and you lying on a dirty mattress in the corner.

Emily and JJ immediately go to Melissa to help her down, and she starts to cry when she realizes she is being saved.

“You’re okay now. They’re not going to hurt you anymore,” JJ soothes.

Spencer runs over to you and unties the rope that binds your wrists. The second you’re free, you find the burst of energy you’ve been saving. You swing at the person who is above you thinking it’s one of the men.

Spencer grabs your wrists and tries to stabilize you but you’re thrashing too much for him to control. Derek comes over and helps Spencer hold you down, and Spencer removes the duct tape from your mouth.

“Y/N--”

“No, let me go!” you beg.

“You got her?”

“Yeah, I got her.”

Spencer lets go of you and Derek has to use his whole body to hold you still even though you’re still trying to get away. Spencer removes your blindfold and you blink rapidly to counteract the brightness of the dim lights. For someone who has had a blindfold on the entire time you’ve been here, the dim lighting it very bright to you. You look around and lock eyes with Derek who is the one who is holding you. You notice JJ and Emily caring for Melissa, and Spencer comes into view in front of you.

Almost immediately, you begin sobbing. You’re free. You’re safe now. You’re not going to hurt anymore. Every single tear you have been holding back is now coming out and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Derek lets you go knowing you’re not going to start swinging which allows Spencer to pull you into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, darling. You’re safe now. You’re okay now.”

You bury your face in Spencer’s chest and sob and wail as loud as you can. Spencer can’t stop his tears from falling, and he looks at the rest of the team. JJ and Emily are in tears, Derek is clenching his jaw tightly, Hotch has a stoic look on his face but is breaking down inside, and Rossi has to look away before he cries.

“We need a medic,” Hotch says into his mic.

By the time the ambulance arrives, your sobs have died down to quiet cries. The men are all arrested and put into separate cop cars, and you’re laid onto a stretcher. Melissa is taken to the hospital in another ambulance, and you’re put into the back of the first one.

“Spencer,” you whimper.

“I’m right here.” He climbs into the back and sits next to you. He grabs your hand and runs his thumb across the back of your hand. “I’m right here. You’re safe now.”

“Please don’t leave me,” you cry.

“I’m not. I’m right here. You’re not alone. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

The entire ride to the hospital is you crying over your innocence being destroyed and Spencer trying not to cry.

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#spencer reid #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fiction #spencer reid fan fiction #spencer reid fan fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst

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euphorajeon · 1 month ago

Text

if it's a dream (i'll come around)

— request: jeongguk + yes or no - jungkook

— pairing: jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff

— word count: 3.1k

— warnings/tags: idol!jk, college student!oc, best friend!jk, most likely inaccurate desc of new york, jk is still pining, jk orders food excessively (again), cliches (sorry)

— summary: something in the new york air makes jeongguk feel a rush: a rush to admit, a rush to tell, a rush to take a leap. he's just not sure whether you feel it too.

— author's note: it's finally here!! i'm sorry for taking so long to write this request. thank you areyousure!jeongguk for inspiring me to finish this request. hah. i hope you still enjoy!! (its unedited. maybe i'll come back someday to edit.)

a continuation of opposite of sun and light of the morning. please read the first two parts before reading this!

masterlist

Jeongguk never thought that it could be so hard to walk around New York.

There are people everywhere, going in a thousand different directions than him, and they walk so fast Jeongguk struggles to keep up even with his long legs. The shops he caught his eyes on were always full too, making him turn away from the door and look for other places that aren't so filled to the brim. Maybe he should’ve gone somewhere not as touristy as Times Square.

But above all, the hardest part of his stroll today is walking alongside you and having to feign nonchalance about it.

Jeongguk’s life as a singer doesn’t really allow him to have much free time, and even when he does, you either have work, class, or anything in between. As a result, the both of you can’t meet often. Jeongguk is so used to just seeing your face on his phone screen, talking to you via a video call connection, that seeing your form walking beside him throws him off balance.

It’s a good thing your face is mostly covered by the camera in your hands, otherwise Jeongguk would’ve spent the entire day with a blush dusting his cheeks just from holding eye contact with you.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?”

Jeongguk squints his eyes past the camera lens covering your face, searching for your eyes which are shaded by the faded black cap sitting on your head. You only respond with a shrug, gesturing towards the camera as if to remind Jeongguk of its existence. He sighs, lifting your cap with a finger so he can look at your eyes. “Bun.”

“You’re not supposed to talk to me, you know?” you huff, trying to balance the device in your hand so Jeongguk’s face is still in frame. “I’m your cameraman for today, not your best friend.”

Jeongguk chuckles. “Camerawoman,” he corrects, “and who says I’m not allowed to talk to you? Do you think I talk to myself the entire time I’m filming vlogs like this?”

“Seems like it,” you say. “Sometimes they’re funny, but most of the time they just make me think ‘what even is he saying?’”

A slow grin spreads on Jeongguk’s face, his eyes still trained on you instead of the camera. When you look away from the small screen of the device in your hand, Jeongguk feels like his smile could split his face into two, and it must look bizarre on camera, but he doesn’t care. What he does care about is—

“You watch my vlogs?”

Suddenly, Jeongguk feels like he is not a popular singer with fans all over the world who tune in to his regular vlog updates, but just Jeon Jeongguk, a boy with a crush to impress. The way you unintentionally confirmed that you watch his vlogs makes him feel all giddy inside that it slipped his mind that you already said the same thing this morning in his hotel room.

Maybe this is what people mean when they say love makes one stupid.

“Only to see what other stupid shenanigans you do this time,” you mumble, dabbing around your face with the back of your free hand. It suspiciously looks like you’re trying to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks, but Jeongguk immediately throws that thought away from his mind. It must be the New York heat that’s making your face hot like this.

“Just admit you enjoy seeing my face on your phone that much,” Jeongguk says cheekily, settling for a response that’s annoying, teasing, but familiar for the both of you. Maybe he’ll address the not-blush on the apple of your cheeks some other time.

“Where was this confidence about me watching your Times Square performance, huh?” You punch his shoulder lightly, which he’s sure makes the image of him on camera shake and blur. “Saying I ‘ghosted’ you because your performance is ‘bad’. What nonsense was that.”

“Hey, I was really worried about you, okay?” Jeongguk pouts. “Besides, I still need your opinion on my performances, whereas my vlogs are usually just me messing around. It’s different.”

Whatever response you have prepared in your mind gets interrupted by your phone ringing, which startles you so much you almost drop the camera from your hand. Good thing Jeongguk has fast reflexes, immediately enclosing his hands around yours before you could do any damage to the device. Upon checking the caller ID, your expression turns to one of worry.

Jeongguk takes the camera away from you. “Take the call,” he says. “I’ll just be here.”

While you step away to do just that, Jeongguk takes the opportunity to finally pay attention to the camera that he has been ignoring for the past few minutes, checking himself out on the small screen and running his fingers through his hair while holding eye contact with the lense. He goes on social media often enough to know that his fans will cut this specific clip from the vlog and fangirl over how good he looks while doing that.

Sometimes he wonders whether you see those clips and have the same reaction as his fans. Do you see them and scroll past them like they’re nothing? Do you scoff at his antics? Do you shake your head with a small laugh?

There’s also a possibility of you not even seeing those clips at all, but Jeongguk likes to think he’s popular enough that his clips can’t help but still end up in your feed. (Also, it hurts his little heart too much to imagine otherwise.)

You come back to him from your phone call with anxiety written all over your face. Jeongguk doesn’t even need to inquire before you squeak out your concern yourself.

“The deadline for my midterm paper has been moved. It’s now due in five hours. Jeongguk, what do I do?”

The both of you end up going back to Jeongguk’s hotel to fish out your brick-ass laptop from your gigantic backpack, the camera in his hands still recording. You’ve told him that he could continue exploring New York on his own, bringing the camera noona like the initial plan was, but Jeongguk insisted on coming with you instead. Why would he go with anyone else when you are here?

Still, though, because he doesn’t want to lose the sense of exploring a new place, he drags you to a dessert cafe near his hotel, offering to hold your laptop in his arms while you walk the short distance to the cafe. Despite your protests, Jeongguk manages to convince you to leave the camera on for the entirety of this laptop fiasco, capturing every moment from the laptop tug-of-war in Jeongguk’s hotel room to his grin in response to your sulking face when you’re both seated in the dessert cafe.

His video editor would hate him for this, but Jeongguk doesn’t care. You’re here, in New York with him, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try his hardest to preserve any memories you make here.

“I don’t understand why you’d rather be stuck here with me than be out there exploring sunny New York in all its glory,” you huff while waiting for your laptop to turn on. It takes a while, Jeongguk notices, but your pout prevents him from saying anything about it. “What idiot has free time in New York and chooses to spend it cooped inside some random cafe?”

Jeongguk pretends to adjust the camera sitting on the table—angled in a way that it captures his face only—so he doesn’t have to look at your face when he says his next words: “Your idiot, Bun.”

You level him with a flat stare. “So you admit you’re an idiot.”

If it means being yours, sure, Jeongguk thinks. He really should stop thinking thoughts like these lest he blurt them out in front of you, on camera.

“I’m gonna order, what do you want, Bun?” Jeongguk asks as an attempt to steer the conversation away from idiots with feelings.

You look up from your (finally on) laptop screen with your head in your hands. “Anything except americano,” you mumble. “Thanks, Jeon.”

“Sure, Bun.” Jeongguk stands up from his seat, grabbing the camera to bring with him to the cashier. “You sure you don’t want anything else?”

The way you shake your head dejectedly is so uncharacteristic of you, given you’re both in a cafe filled with the smell of baked goods—something that usually brings a light of excitement into your eyes. Jeongguk can only imagine how stressful it is being a college student and having your midterm deadline be moved to hours earlier, and to experience all this while being jet lagged from a 14-hour flight prior surely doesn’t help.

Jeongguk has to physically hold himself from ducking down to engulf you in a hug, squeeze his arms around your frame until your frown is turned upside down and he can bear witness to your smile once again. For now, he can only wish that the cafe sells the type of bread you like so he can at least alleviate some of your burden with the sweet treat.

When he goes to the cashier to order, his polite smile is responded with a gasp from the cafe worker, clearly recognizing him as the popular singer. His smile turns into something more genuine—albeit a bit shy also—when the worker mentions that she’s a fan of his. After exchanging some pleasantries with her, Jeongguk proceeds to order. He just doesn’t realize how many desserts and pastries in the display case he’s pointed at until the worker asks him a question.

“Are you here with your crews?” she inquires, still tapping away at the computer screen in front of her. When Jeongguk only stares at her with wide eyes, she continues. “We can provide individual utensils for each of you if you’d like,” she offers.

Oh. Oh. Jeongguk thought she was asking for conversational purposes. “Uh, just two sets would be fine. Thank you.”

Still, it doesn’t register in his brain that he’s ordered too many pastries for two people until he’s coming back to your table with only both of your drinks on the tray in his hands. He sets your drink down next to your laptop, on which you’re typing furiously like you’re a madman chased by a tight deadline (in a way, you kind of are.)

Only when three cafe workers come back to back to your table to drop off his order of various kinds of desserts and pastries does he realize that he might have gone overboard with his order. Jeongguk can only flash a guilty smile your way when you tear your eyes away from your laptop to gape at the array of desserts in front of you.

“Are you trying to feed an entire village?” you ask incredulously.

“Hehe,” Jeongguk offers. “I was thinking about you and how you looked so stressed out because of your deadline and I just … ordered pretty much everything … for you.” He scratches his head sheepishly while setting the camera to its initial position on the corner of the table. He hopes the camera doesn’t pick up the way his cheeks blossom with heat. Or if it does, he hopes the editor cuts this part out.

Jeongguk doesn’t know if he imagines this part or not, but your eyes soften at his words and your next words are more gentle in tone. “Thank you, but there’s no way I would be able to finish all of these by myself.”

“Did you forget that you have Jeon Jeongguk for a best friend?” There’s a smug smirk on his face now, replacing the sheepish one he was sporting a few minutes ago. He likes it when you’re soft with him, vulnerable in a way only he’s allowed to see, but that’s exactly the problem: you’re both on camera, and whether or not this gets shared to the world, it’s still not as private as he would’ve liked. So he’s back on his annoying best friend persona to stop your vulnerable side from coming out.

You roll your eyes at him, but there’s a sliver of a smile on your lips.

The both of you spend the next few minutes enjoying your desserts and drinks, with Jeongguk cutting the desserts into bite-sized pieces so you can eat them with ease. He also does not forget his job as an entertainer, showing each and every one of the desserts to the camera and making sure his delightful hums are loud enough for the camera to pick up. He’s humming along to the song being played in the cafe while chewing when it suddenly plays an intro of a song he knows by heart—and judging from the way you look up from your laptop, you do too.

“Did they know you’re here?” The smile on your face is teasing.

“The cashier recognized me, said she’s a fan,” Jeongguk explains, turning his head in the direction of the cashier, trying to find the aforementioned worker. Upon making eye contact with her, Jeongguk mouths a thank you! with a smile, which she responds with a thumbs up.

“You must have made her day by coming here. Her whole week, even,” you chuckle, going back to typing on your laptop. The smile quickly drops from your face as you’re forced to go back to thinking mode for your midterm paper. Jeongguk nudges a fork full of pastry into your hand, silently asking you to eat.

“Then would you still say I’m an idiot for choosing to be here with you?”

Jeongguk said he’d leave this topic alone, revisit it later when he’s got the courage to do so, but what can he do? Your presence here with him makes him overwhelmed with feelings that sometimes it slips in between his words.

The only response he receives from you is silence. Jeongguk doesn’t know whether it’s because you didn’t want to respond or you simply just didn’t hear him. It’s most likely the latter as any attempt he makes to make you eat the desserts are useless as you’re too immersed in your paper. He ends up just feeding you bites after bites of desserts, grateful and giddy that you take them without protests as you’re typing.

As he’s cutting up more pastries for you to eat, the song changes to ‘Yes or No’, the fifth track on his latest album that he performed live two days ago at Times Square. He remembers you telling him that your friend, Yeseo, became a fan after listening to this song. Jeongguk tries to suppress a smile by biting his bottom lip as he listens to the lyrics of the song.

Are you feeling the rush?

Are we falling in love?

Say yes or no

In an interview, Jeongguk told the public that no songs from his album are based on his personal life, although he hopes he still delivered the messages of the songs well enough. What he doesn’t say, however, is that he thinks of you whenever he listens to or performs this song. It’s a song about a person in love and still wonders whether the other person is feeling the same way. Sometimes he wishes he could be honest and sing the words to you, pour out his feelings along the way, and he wishes you could feel the same way.

Jeongguk stops his activities of cutting desserts into bite-sized pieces and leans his back against his chair, staring at you. You’re still hyper-focused on your paper that you don’t notice his gaze, typing away on your laptop without a care for the love pouring out of his eyes.

Jeongguk knows you love him.

You love him enough to answer his video call at two am when you were studying. You love him enough to sacrifice sleep to watch his performance. You love him enough to book a flight to New York immediately after even though you still have a midterm paper to finish. You love him enough to walk around JFK with a heavy backpack hanging off your shoulders. You love him enough to join him exploring New York instead of resting off your jet lag.

But does that mean you love him enough to return his feelings the way he wants you to?

As he ponders the answer to that question, his hand moves on its own accord to continue feeding you the dessert he has cut up. You continue accepting the food he feeds you, and Jeongguk thinks maybe he needs to stop being selfish and just be content with whatever he has with you right now: friendship.

Although, in this moment, feeding you desserts while you do your paper, he feels like your college boyfriend he wished to be nights ago when you were a mere video on his phone. He already dresses the part—jeans and oversized hoodie—and feels the part, but that’s the thing about parts, isn’t it? That they’re not real, that they’re only there in his head.

You have cream on the corner of your lips from a particular big cut of dessert Jeongguk just fed you, and it feels like autopilot when he leans forward to swipe the cream off your lips with his thumb. He slots the thumb in between his own lips, sucking the cream clean off his skin. The innocent round of his eyes are met with the shocked round of yours, unblinking as you stare at the thumb previously on your lips, now on his.

“What?” he asks dumbly.

You shake your head. There’s an unmistakable crimson on the apple of your cheeks. “Nothing,” you say, clearing your throat. The blush on your face remains, and if Jeongguk’s sight serves him right, deepens instead. “Just, remember that you’re on camera the next time you want to do that.”

“So I can do it again if I turn off the camera?”

Jeongguk surprises himself by how steady he sounds. A tad too serious, too, and if he’s not careful, you might take it that he really wants to do it again, for real. His heart hammers in his chest as his hand inches towards the camera, fingers ready to turn the device off.

“Jeongguk,” you say slowly in a warning tone. “Namjoon will kill me if you try anything funny.”

Letting out his signature big grin, Jeongguk retracts his hand from the camera.

“Sorry, Bun. I’ll let you finish your paper in peace now.”

If you have cream on your lips again, maybe he’ll swipe it off with his lips instead. Maybe later, when he has the courage to. Maybe later, when he’s let you know how he really feels.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

a/n: thank you for reading! i still have 1 (one) more idea for this couple pair of bestfriends but not sure if i have the brain capacity to actually write it out ahaha let me know if you want to see more of them though :D

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #fanfic #fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts au #bts college au #jungkook college au #jungkook drabble #jungkook oneshot #jungkook au #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #idol!jungkook

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