#the part that really drives home that its an unreliable narrator for me was when she finished fucking the plastic surgeon

[mags-writes]

little over half way through boy parts by eliza clark and holy shit????? the way she has deluded herself into thinking that everyone is thinking about her every time she steps into a room is phenomenal and the way the consequences to her actions are just not what you want to happen to her??? she purposely exploits and embarrasses will in front of his friend at his own party so she can get a laugh out of it and he tries to r*pe her for it while she's drugged up and vulnerable then you think this would humble her a little in a horrible way but she turns around and blames her best friend for it happening to her??? like a full blown psycho?? 10/10 so far a really good read if you're into unreliable narrator stuff and a look into a psychopathic mind

[landinrris]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

ahh thanks, Jo!

If I had to pick five of my works to rec, I'd probably pick these (in no particular order):

--Unconstrained-- Lando and Carlos are in a Ph.D. program navigating both graduate school challenges as well as an ill-advised friends-with-benefits situation that has no chance of going wrong.

This remains the most self-indulgent thing I've written in many respects. I'm currently re-reading it right now since its plot devices aren't part of my immediate stressors and I still love it

--Hide All Our Sins From the Daylight-- Lando and Carlos find each other in Augusta, but nothing is that easy once Carlos finds himself agreeing to a PR relationship to ensure his own contract negotiations.

Even though the end doesn't play out in real life, I loved the journey this one took me on. The fever dream of Singapore 2023 happening as a poetic end to the fic. The ups and downs they go through. Top 5 for sure.

--Double Exposure-- Lando is a paddock photographer in his first year of frequenting the F1 paddock. He meets Carlos by chance after a race and can’t help but be pulled into his orbit slowly and then all at once.

Best crack I've ever been on was whatever helped write this one. Was just talking to Phebes about a potential follow-up/re-do of this from Carlos' pov to really drive home the unreliable narrator theme so.... mayhaps

--It's Hard When It Isn't To Let Yourself Slide-- Lando and Carlos come out on their own terms after Lando slips up in his Drive to Survive season 4 interview

This is my literal og. Nearly three and a half years old, and it's still the thing that started me off on this nearly 3/4 of a million carlando-word journey. quintessential reading even if I'd like to think I've improved since then.

--String Ourselves Up For Love-- Lando and Carlos sleep with each other after Abu Dhabi 2020 and then have to go back to being friends with mixed success for the 2021 season.

My original take on Sleeping With Other People set in more of the "canon" universe. I love this one because of the opening scene and the Sochi scenes particularly. Would rec if you haven't read (or if it's just been awhile)

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Loki’s Line About Betraying Everyone

I need to talk about this line (spoiler: I’m not happy about it). I was going to just include this in the full episode response post I’m working on, but it got long enough that I decided to make it its own.

First of all, here’s the full quote: "I betrayed everyone who ever loved me. I betrayed my father, my brother, my home. I know what I did. And I know why I did it. And that's not who I am anymore."

Y'all, I'm less emotional about it now but this line fucked me up when I first heard it. It hit me like a ton of bricks while watching the episode for the first time because I was actually doing fine and wasn't significantly bothered by anything up until that point, and then came that line and I suddenly almost felt physically ill. I actually wrote up a post about it that night but never posted it because it was essentially just a lot of screaming, so I've now taken pieces of that and formed a hopefully more coherent post (though it still contains a good amount of screaming). So, I get that the idea that Loki’s betrayed Thor over and over is a Commonly Accepted Thing. It's really a lot more complicated than that, and there are a lot of gray areas involved, but fine, I'll give them that one. But - when did Loki betray his father? When did Loki betray his home?? I’m not just mad about it, this is...a legitimate question. I mean with the father thing, I guess the only thing could be the nursing home in Ragnarok/taking the throne from him? Which is irrelevant anyway because this Loki didn’t do that and doesn't even know it happened in the main timeline?? And besides, it PALES, like, hilariously, in comparison to any one of multiple things Odin did to him before that (not counting any fanon here - just the canon things that we know of!) I am just so confused, especially about the betraying Asgard thing. WHEN? LITERALLY WHEN? Guys, there is no film in which that took place.

If I trusted the narrative, I would say the most logical thing to conclude - at least about the betraying Asgard part - is that this is a setup for Loki to later realize he actually saved Asgard by causing Ragnarok (because that's the closest thing I can think of to "betraying his home"), which could even tie into something about, idk, helping him realize he’s capable of being a hero? (or something) and it would be a good follow-up to the moment he found out about Ragnarok in episode 2, but...fuck, the way these lines were framed it really doesn't feel like anything like that is going to happen. I could be wrong, but these just didn't strike me as lines that are at any point going to be contradicted or even revisited.

And moving onto another part of the quote - "I know why I did it." Uh, I guess good for Loki for apparently knowing that...but the audience sure doesn't?? This is something we're just now being told and have not been shown at all?? I have a feeling Loki thinks he knows why but it unfortunately doesn't have anything to do with some of the biggest actual reasons, which are the abuses done to him that helped make him who he is. Even more unfortunately, I also have a feeling the creators are on roughly the same page as Loki here. So yeah, that's a real shame.

The core problem here seems to be where the writers are coming from, and @iamanartichoke worded it really well here, so I’m just going to quote her: “either the writing is being lazy by oversimplifying Loki’s motives, or it’s being deliberately misleading in order to retcon the character, or the writers genuinely believe that’s what happened, which implies a misunderstanding of Loki’s character kinda from the get-go - at least on what drives his villainy and what fuels his anger, which are pretty significant things.” I do think there’s a slight chance they were using Loki as an unreliable narrator here and the audience was supposed to pick up on the subtext (more on that at the end of this post), but I doubt it, and I think it’s very likely one or more of the options listed in the quote. 

Honestly, I can explain Loki's line about betrayal (and his general lack of acknowledgement of his own trauma/legit grievances against his family) pretty easily in-universe. It makes sense that Loki himself would frame things as him betraying everyone who's ever loved him as if they never did anything to wrong him first, or that he would try to ignore what Thanos did to him in favor of putting all the blame on himself (coping with his trauma and loss of control by denying it). Or hell, maybe he would even straight up subconsciously invent a betrayal that never even happened, like the one about his home. I can totally understand Loki seeing the events of his life that way! That all lines up with his complete lack of self-worth, and to have him 1) recognize his mistakes and take responsibility for them (which has happened at this point in the show), but then progress on to 2) realize he isn't solely to blame for literally everything, and 3) recognize the role of his family and others in understanding why he is the way he is - that would be a very satisfying arc and is the natural direction that the story should take in episode 6. The problem is, I don't think the show is going that way. I think we're either supposed to take it at face value that Loki did in fact betray everybody who ever loved him (as if Loki is a reliable narrator when he's most certainly an unreliable one), or the audience is supposed to figure out that Loki's an unreliable narrator here - but the latter won't work, because the creators have to follow through on that subtext at some point and actually do something to indicate that what Loki said wasn't 100% true, and it doesn't feel like they're going to. You can't expect your audience to put any weight on subtext or even pick up on it in the first place if you never actually confirm anything, and your audience won't know your narrator is unreliable unless you tell them. If Loki being an unreliable narrator in that specific moment was their intention, only a small subset of fans are going to pick up on it. So the way they're framing it so far, the audience is simply going to see it the same way Loki does and not realize it's incorrect. 

Unfortunately, as stated earlier, I think the most likely explanation is that the writers either don’t understand Loki, are being lazy, or are deliberately retconning. So while I take a degree of comfort in the in-universe explanation, it’s pretty damn infuriating to consider where the writer’s minds were probably at in reality, and how this set of lines is presenting Loki to the casual audience. 

Tagging @iamanartichoke and @delyth88 if you guys have any thoughts?

[smellofrainn]

Thank you so much @smolhilariousbeans for tagging me. needed this distraction. thank you ♥️♥️ sorry for taking time.

MUSIC

Fav genre?  rock, folk, r&b, pop, classical, musical, movies soundtracks ( its a major cuz thats how i find new songs.)im nt really familiar with music genres.

Fav artist? Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles and Lil Nas X

Fav song? that’s hard. there’s a list. Perfect Now (cuz i need her when im down), Sunflower ( cuz it reminds me of Louis lol), Numb and Creep.

Most listened to song recently? Perfect Now, that says a lot about my mental health.

Song currently stuck in your head? Raheemun Aleemun. Its a soundtrack from a Malayalam movie, Malik.

5 fav lyrics?

“Keep your head up, love . Keep your head up. dont hide away. dont ever change. keep your head up, love keep your head up. dont look away, dont look away. cause everybody's looking at you now my oh my. i guess some queen’s dont need a crown. and i know why. even when your tears are falling down . still somehow you are perfect now” im crying now people (happy tears). LOUIS has that effect on me. (Perfect Now by Louis Tomlinson)

“ I’ve become so numb. I cant feel you there. become so tired. so much more aware. I’m becoming this. All i want to do is be more like me and be less like you” (Numb by Linkin Park)

“Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes benz

She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends

How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget" (Hotel California by Eagles. This song helped me survive my hostel life. *shudders*)

"People always told me be careful of what you do

And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts

And mother always told me be careful of who you love

And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son" ( Billie jean by Michael Jackson🌝🌝)

"You're beautiful. you're beautiful. you're beautiful, its true. I saw your face in a crowded place. and i dont know what to do. cause i ll never be with you" ( you are beautiful by James Blunt.)

radio or and your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

this is going to be hard. i dont read that much. bcuz books are really expensive. god bless fanfic writers and ao3.

fav book genre? Fantasy, Mystery, Psychological thriller, Romance, fanfic.

fav writer? All FANCFIC WRITERS!!!! M.T Vasudevan Nair, P.Padmarajan, Malayattoor Ramakrishnan, P.F Mathews.

fav book? Verukal by Malayattoor Ramakrishnan

fav book series? none

comfort book? tired tired sea by Mediawhore

perfect book to read on rainy days? works of Mediawhore and Whimsicule. 

fav characters? Yakshi/Ragini, Bheeman in Randamoozham, Fancis Ittycora Ittycora, Louis and Harry 🙄🙄

5 quotes from your fav books that you know by heart? all in malayalam. no way i can translate those.

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first, depend on each story premise | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV & MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre ? Mystery, Crime Film Psychological thriller, Fantasy, Sci-fi, Horror, Drama, Adventure, Romance, Supehero, Anime

fav movie ? Fight Club, Chicago, MCU, Call Me By Your Name, My Neighbour Totoro, Thoovanathumbikal, Maichithrathaazhu, Blue is the Warmest colour. ( there’s too many actually. these are some i watch frequently.)

comfort movie ? Harry Potter and MCU.

movie you watch every year ? MANICHITHRATHAAZHU, it's a malayalam psychological thriller movie. Shobhana's acting in this movie is sp good and MOHANLAL💙💙 he's a gem.

fav tv show ? Dark, The Boys

comfort tv show ? Friends 

most rewatched tv show ? friends

ultimate otp ? none

5 fav characters ? Clara from Thoovanathumbikal(I'll never forget her), Sophie from (Nammukku Paarkkam Munthiri thoppukal), Marla Singer from Fight Club(can you hear her whispering "slide"), Malena from Malena, Adele from Blue is the Warmest colour 💙, Loki , Bucky and a lot♥️♥️

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging |one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off (only of its English or other languages i prefey not to put subtitles for Malayalam movies)| rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

whew this was fun!! i should read more books!!

anyone who is interested is welcome to play this. <3

Mohanlal 💙

Sophie from Nammukku Paarkkam Munthirithoppukal

Clara from Thoovanathumbikal 💙💙 she's my fav fictional character.

yaaaaay!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[maggielindemanns]

tag nine people to learn about their interests!

TAGGING: @ijzerengels @calumthoodshands @redrattlers @thenervousduck @arzkiya-hai @kritiquer @lesbianearn @sondergf @embeddedinmybrain @vexedtonightmares @tsjernobyl @bandsanitizer @tarcyjonsson and anyone else that wants to! idk who did this or not, sorry if you already did it but you may of course ignore me.

aaaa also thank you @ottelu for the tag! love u bestie <3

MUSIC

fave genre: r&b and pop, for sure

fave artist: ariana grande, halsey, savannah ré, normani, alina baraz, kiana ledé, chloe moriondo, troye sivan, the neighbourhood, bastille, 5SOS (& luke hemmings solo !!!!!! my baby) — basically i love music, we been knew, i have so many faves i can’t pick one

fave song: rn it’s for sure ur best friend by kiana ledé ft kehlani or girl on tv by chloe moriondo

most listened to song lately: according to last.fm, it’s wild side by normani agskdhsk i do wish she released it without cardi tho i’ll die on this hill idc its fine i just skip her part

song currently stuck in your head: you right by doja cat actually and ur best friend i couldn’t stop singing those two at work

five fave lyrics (in no particular order, there’s too many i love omg)

“i know i’ll never meet your expectations / but the picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind” — high, 5SOS

“you don’t believe in one divine / but can you tell me you believe in mine? / ‘cause you’ve been my god, my god / and when you’re gone i’m godless, i’m godless” — godless, banks

“you’re the only one, you’re the only one / i’m so wrapped up in a daze / hoping this is just a phase / but when all is said and done / i know you are still the one” — the only one, the black keys

“i get lost inside all the stars in your eyes, it’s a galaxy / you control the tide like the moon in the sky, you’re the gravity” — more than enough, alina baraz

“standing there, you look at me / understanding everything / yeah, it’s so fascinating / you patch up the blood and the cuts / but our blood got mixed up / so i guess we belong to each other” — love song, yungblud

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyric video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fave book genre: idk i prefer like YA novels and romance i guess but idc really, i just don’t like fantasy stuff like harry potter or . historical fiction?? i guess you could call it?? (tried to read pride and prejudice for leisure ……….. boring as fuck like holy shit) or science fiction like boring boring boring idc no offense to anyone that loves it of course

fave writer: don’t have one really

fave book: aaaaaa i don’t have one of these either !! the one that always comes to mind though is giovanni’s room, but i just love that book, it was brilliant

fave series: mmmm i don’t really like series but caro’s got me into reading trc so i guess that’ll be my fave series once i’m done!

comfort book: rwrb <3

fave book to read on a rainy day: giovanni’s room sgsjdhsj i literally reread it bc it has some of my fave lines ever

fave characters: adam parrish, blue sargent, ronan lynch, gansey but he on thin ice, ari and dante, aiden navarro, alex claremont-diaz, charlie and nick (actually . everyone in heartstopper except the characters that are a plague <3), and more that i cannot think of most likely

five fave book quotes: (again no particular order i love so many)

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.” || “The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.” — the picture of dorian gray, oscar wilde

“topography on the map of you, a world i’m still charting.” — red, white, and royal blue, casey mcquiston

“It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody.” || “I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again.” || “And here my baby came indeed, through all that sunlight, his face flushed and his hair flying, his eyes, unbelievably, like morning stars.” || “And there’s something awful about being at the mercy of a stranger.” — giovanni’s room, james baldwin (ik i cheated so bad w this SHUSH)

“And then I think we all realized what fools we’d been. We might get out sometime, but she was locked up forever in that body.” — girl, interrupted, susanna kaysen

“You and I, we don’t walk the lines. We just follow the echoes.” || “My mother used to say, ‘Don’t throw compliments away, so long as they’re free.’” His face was very earnest. “That one wasn’t meant to cost you anything, Blue.” — the raven boys, maggie stiefvater

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | read at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by summaries | rereading or reading just once

TV & MOVIES

fave tv/movie genres: coming of age, romance (ehhh to some degree), i like indie movies, idk same as books i dont like science fiction, historical stuff, or fantasy im boring okay

fave movie: dont have one tbh

comfort movie: speech and debate or easy a

movie you watch every year: dont have one

fave tv show: dear white people or skam + remakes, i like other ones tho like stranger things

comfort show: skamverse <3 not exactly an answer but mhm

most rewatched tv show: skamverse or dear white people OR THE FOSTERS …. dude …….. i used to watch that all day every day then they took it off netflix …. now it’s dance moms i play for background noise and watch on occasion

five favorite characters: lionel higgins, joelle brooks, olive penderghast, lucas lallemant, eleonora sava, fallon carrington, howie (speech and debate), connor walsh, annalise keating, wes gibbins, archie coleman, ellie chu, beth harmon, lara jean covey (yes here i am overlisting again i’m so sorry)

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging (well …. i don’t binge actually i have a horrible attention span) | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

[astarfilledsea]

got tagged by the lovely @sunsetsswerve 💖ty lovely

tag 9 people to know more about their interests, hobbies, etc. (no pressure!):

feel free to just look at my answers, dear friends :)) tagging @wistfullullabies @buckleys-diaz @ronanlyneh @eijunes

MUSIC

fav genre? it depends on my mood really, whatever im feeling is what i’ll put on but i do listen to pop/pop punk and alt rock lol not recently tho

fav artist? does this include bands? im gonna say yea: pvris / paramore / fob / dermot kennedy / jonas bros / halsey / hozier / bad suns / bts to name a few 

fav song? good to be alive - pvris is one of many

most listened song recently? your eyes tell - bts / b s&t orchestral cover

song currently stuck in your head? i was singing airplane pt. 2 earlier

fav lyrics? it’s just a spark, but its enough to keep me going / and when its dark out, no one’s around, it keeps glowing - last hope by paramore

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? fantasy / also really depends on what im feeling atm / also do enjoy manga as well

fav writer? i have a couple but i’ll say v schwab / erin morgenstern

fav book? too many, next q

fav book series? percy jackson / the raven cycle : those two are just....they’re books that i know i can go back to again and again and still love them also soc duology is good

comfort book? see above answer 

perfect book to read on a rainy day? oooh anything, really - leaving that

fav characters? percy jackson / ronan lynch

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? here are some random ones bc i cant tell you 5 from just one:

the dam quote from titan’s curse

"In that moment, Blue was a little in love with all of them. Their magic. Their quest. Their awfulness and strangeness. Her raven boys."

"Plenty of humans were monstrous, and plenty of monsters knew how to play at being human."

“Strange isn’t it? To love a book. When the words on the pages become so precious that they feel like part of your own history because they are. It’s nice to finally have someone read stories I know so intimately."

“"Kaz leaned back. "What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?" "Knife to the throat?" asked Inej. "Gun to the back?" said Jesper. "Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina. "You're all horrible," said Matthias."

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? animation, comedy

fav movie? how to train your dragon is one of the many

comfort movie? she’s the man (even tho its been a long while since ive seen it)

movie you watch every year? i try to watch olive the other reindeer every year, its weirdly one of my fav christmas movies 

fav tv show? haikyu / diamond no ace / shadow & bone / vincenzo (even tho i have to finish it) 

comfort tv show? haikyu

most rewatched tv show? haikyu 

ultimate otp? vincenzo and the gold underneath that building / i feel like id answer this better if i watched more tv/movies but imma be real, i have not seen much of both

5 fav characters? see fav tv show, everyone in there is my fav

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once

[kimheecheon]

tagged by @miyeoncey thanks love ♡ wow i really forget every media ive ever consumed when im asked about it lmao

MUSIC

fave genre: kpop, edm, folktronica. i ilke songs that are upbeat and bassy and kinda tacky and in a language i don't speak

fave artists: i can go on for days but my current faves are loona, a.c.e, dreamcatcher, orβit, ateez, pinkfantasy. for non-kpop daoko, karma fields, zhu, san holo, mahmood

fave song: kyungri - blue moon. unmatched legend. also red velvet - peekaboo, every topp dogg song

Most listened song recently: its a dating sim song lmao

fun fact this was released 8 days ago and it's already my 11th most listened to song in the past 4 years :) yes i obsessively monitor my spotify stats

song currently stuck in your head: e'last - swear

fave lyrics atm: hey. i don't pay attention to lyrics, like i specifically listen to foreign songs so i don't have to hear the lyrics

radio or your own playlist I solo artists or bands I pop or indie I loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs I music video or lyrics video I speakers or headset I riding a bus in silence or while listening to music I driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fave book genre: low fantasy, historical fantasy, romance

fave writer: ??

fave book: ??

fave book series: the ONLY book series i've finished in my entire life is ilana tan's seasons serises and i barely remember it. i was in grade school

Comfort book: aristotle & dante, good omens (young me wild for crushing on the embodiedment of pollution)

Perfect book to read to a rainy day: ?? ok so perhaps i can't read. it makes sense i play dating sims because i don't have the time for actual books lmao. society if i actually read books *insert that pic*

hardcover or paperback I buy or rent (pirate too lmao) I standalone novels or book series I ebook or physical copy I reading at night or during the day I reading at home or in nature (hello from tropical country) I listening to music while reading or reading in silence I reading in order or reading the ending first I reliable or unreliable narrator I realism or fantasy I one or multiple POVS I judging by the covers or by the summary I rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre: comedy, fantasy, mystery

Fave movie: lego batman movie. i stand by this choice

Comfort movie: lego batman movie, jennifer's body, the proposal, this indonesian horror movie pengabdi setan/satan's slave (THE school recess/sleepover movie. really not as scary as the reviews make it to be)

Movie you watch every year: nightmare before christmas, coraline

Fave tv show: hannibal, ahs coven

Comfort tv show: any game shows & reality competitions (nailed it, drag race, bake off, taskmaster, etc). hgtv fixer upper shows. also indian & turkish soaps and shitty tv soaps (check out this episode titled, verbatim, corpse of a cruel foreman died buried in cement casting anD STRUCK BY METEOR sdfgjgjk i can't make this up)

Most rewatched tv show: hana kimi, yamato nadeshiko

5 fave characters: all three totally spies, wen ning from mdzs (but not for the normal reasons ppl like a character. i would explain but the margins are too small), yuuko from xxxholic (defined my childhood)

tv shows or movie I short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) I one episode a week or binging I one season or multiple seasons I one part or saga I half hour or one hour long episodes I subtitles on or off I rewatching or watching just once I downloads or watches online

tagging @santir0sales ♡

[galindaelphaba]

tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

tagged by @juliansbaker and @brockedavis. Thanks for tagging me 💖💖💖

MUSIC

fave genre? i love pop music and all of its subgenres. i also love indie music.

fave artist? britney of course

fave song? i have too many, but i will go with oops i did it again

most listened song recently? i love you but i love me more by marina

song currently stuck in your head? this is me from camp rock (i watched it today so that’s why)

5 fave lyrics? Ok here are some totally random picks

Guess I can't see no harm / In working and being a mama / And with a kid on my arm I'm still an exceptional earner - Piece of Me by Britney Spears

You got a white picket fence and your dad's got a gun / And when you see the police there's no reason to run / You got a job, and a car, and a good dental plan / You got health insurance, pocket money ... Damn - New America by Marina

I'm a dynasty / The pain in my vein is hereditary - Dynasty by Rina Sawayama

You are the hole in my head / You are the space in my bed / You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said - No Light, No Light by Florence + the Machine

This dream isn't feeling sweet / We're reeling through the midnight streets / And I've never felt more alone / It feels so scary getting old - Ribs by Lorde

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? young adult fiction and classics. cookbooks too lmao

fav writer? harper lee, truman capote, f. scott fitzgerald

fav book? to kill a mockingbird

fav book series? the mortal instruments (💀)

comfort book? I don’t really read enough anymore to have one tbh

perfect book to read on a rainy day? 

fave characters? alec lightwood, izzy lightwood, magnus bane, jem carstairs, atticus finch (one of these is not like the others help)

5 quotes from your fave book that you know by heart? 

i don’t know any book quotes by heart

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre? i love teen dramas, disney stuff and horror movies

fave movie? heathers and any of the comfort movies listed below

comfort movie? mermaids, death becomes her, first wives club, legally blonde, beauty and the beast, mulan and scream

movie you watch every year? i don’t know tbh

fave tv show? veronica mars, hart of dixie, one tree hill, bates motel

comfort tv show? hart of dixie and oth

most rewatched tv show? probably oth tbh

5 fave characters? veronica mars, lemon breeland, gina porter, norma bates and faith lehane

tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

tagging (no pressure of course): @anthonyhopkinz @paulwalkerr @sallysimpsons @charismascarpenter @etherealkies @fionagallaqher @magnusedom @andremichaux @natanscott and anyone else who wants to do it

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

you’re not the poison; it’s me.

... um. titans 2.07 absolutely WRECKED me you guys, and i would like to tell you why in excruciating detail:

SPOILERS ahead

(and before i go ahead, i just want to say this: this episode deals with ptsd and psychosis and suicidal ideation explicitly, in ways that even i found difficult to watch. it’s very intense. please keep that in mind if you decide to watch it.)

1. usually genre tv shows like to pile on the trauma but deal with its fallout either rarely or in oblique ways--shots of the character brooding, a couple of ‘candid’ talks filled with frustrating euphemisms, then it’s on to tackling the next plot point. not titans tho--for this show, the trauma is very much the point. the plot is wafer-thin and takes a backseat as the show takes episode after episode to break down its central characters and hammer it in that there are no easy fix-its for complex trauma, and that Dealing with it is a continuous, sometimes lifelong process. it forces you to keep re-evaluating and re-contextualising the actions of these characters and challenges your assumptions.

1.5. for instance: let’s take donna troy. in s1 she was the put-together big sister to dick, content with living her life outside the superhero community while giving sound advice to dick about how he can get his own life back on track. now? she’s a stressed, paranoid wreck, plagued by horrible memories and taking her insecurities out on dick and jason and whoever else is available. deathstroke’s machinations aside, there’s something deeply dysfunctional about the way the original titans operated, the ways they brought both the best and the worst out of each other. it seems like none of them really understood the seriousness of what they were doing until they did something truly terrible that they couldn’t take back, and it was earth-shattering enough that donna completely abandoned her old life to live as a civilian. trigon’s vision for her in 2.01 reminded her that she was fooling herself; coming back to titans tower and actually having to face what made her run away in the first place has broken down the walls she’s spent five years putting up. it’s not pretty to watch, but... it tracks.

2. after having written post after post about dick cracking under relentless stress and the weight of his own guilt complex, it was startling to see him actually fall apart. halluci!bruce was absolutely brutal and really brought home the fact that Good Lord, Dick Grayson Is So Far From Okay That It’s Not Even Funny Anymore. 

because here’s the thing: dick is deeply unwell, and however the show proceeds with his character from here on out, this episode made absolutely no bones about that fact. his single-minded dash to find and kill slade is framed as both irrational and suicidal. he’s visibly on edge, bursting into bouts of uncontrollable rage. he’s shown to carry a guilt complex the size of mount everest, to the point where it actually seems delusional. he’s fucking terrified of abandonment, to the point where he’d rather cut off ties on his own rather than have others leave him. he’s constantly berating himself and this doesn’t give him a moment to sit down and think and try to form a rational plan. halluci!bruce even mentions meds and “uppers and downers” to cope, and i am genuinely concerned that that was what dick actually did to cope in the immediate aftermath of whatever the fuck went down with him and joey and deathstroke. maybe it’s ptsd with a secondary psychosis triggered by nearly losing jason the same way he lost his parents (and massive sleep deprivation, i imagine), or maybe there’s another underlying chronic mental illness. either way, he needs help. 

man but halluci!bruce was vicious. if this is what dick has running in his head at all times, no wonder he broods, and no wonder he takes others admonishing his choices with barely any protest! 

2.25. looking at this from a different perspective, tho, here’s another way in which bruce wayne functions as a symbol on this show. phantom!bruce is how dick normally externalises everything he hates about himself, and this dynamic plays out very literally in this episode. 

interestingly, and somewhat heartbreakingly, it took dick accepting and internalising his low opinion of himself and his veritable ocean of guilt for judgy!bruce wayne to turn into loving, concerned!bruce wayne, who would comfort dick and wipe his tears. (it is entirely heartbreaking that that’s what dick subconsciously craves from bruce.) dick must debase himself for love and acceptance. it’s fucking tragic. 

2.55. and what does it mean--for dick and for his friendships with the og titans--that he’s so convinced that they would leave him if he told them the truth about jericho? for one, even back then, it seemed like dick was doing a lot of the emotional labour for the team: as a leader he both funnelled and executed the team’s plans, with responsibility for the fallout falling unevenly and mostly on his shoulders; he acted as the go-between for the team and bruce, for donna and garth, probably for hank and dawn, given he was dawn’s rebound. later, hank and dawn are visibly concerned by how viciously he fights. after re-forming the titans, he continues to shoulder responsibility for the shit-show that deathstroke rains on them, although he didn’t know deathstroke was alive when he re-opened the tower. of course he thinks that the team will think that he’s beyond redemption if they find out the truth; of course he’d want to go and finish off deathstroke on his own--or die in the process--before any of them finds out. 

2.75. but guys, here’s the thing: in spite of all of this, dick grayson still went around to check on conner and jason and assure the latter that he didn’t blame him for running off on his own. he saw jason standing there on a precipice right at the end, and decided he was going to be opaque anymore, or fall back on what he learned from bruce. he sits down with jason and finally divulges the secret that he had been willing to die to protect--making himself vulnerable to save jason’s life. he’s trying so goddamn hard even though his brain is rioting against him right now and probably has been for years. it’s just--i can’t imagine a truer, more sensitive portrayal of dick grayson than this.

3. watching jason reach his breaking point was,,, Not Fun. it’s one thing to be seemingly passed on like unwanted baggage from guardian to guardian. to be viewed with contempt and impatience when he just wants to make sure his voice isn’t lost in the constant shuffle. to be looked at as an impostor by the very people he looks upto. to be assigned the role of hot-headed fuck-up despite all his attempts to be useful, to prove himself. but to have all of that fall on him all at once on top of (poorly) dealing with a near-death experience? yikes.

3.25. and the horrible, tragic, human part of it all is that donna and the others probably didn’t even know what they were doing to jason by piling on him like that? he’s a relative outsider to both rachel and the og titans. he’s an arrogant prick that’s easy to hate. without dick and gar to stand up for jason, he’s cornered by people who haven’t even gotten to the point of seeing him as a vulnerable kid that’s struggling, just like the rest of them.

3.5. and so the two robins perch on the ledge, each convinced that they are poison that will either kill or drive their friends away. it’s a fraught moment of connection that stops jason from jumping, but he doesn’t step away. both of them are on a precipice in more ways than one; i can only hope they help each other land on the right side.1

also, bruce wayne? send your sons to therapy MY GOD

4. kory and rachel using their awesome powers in concert to cure conner! kory using her cultural background to connect to and help conner! conner mumbling in kryptonian! krypto fucking shooting across the sky with eve on his back! in such a sad and intense episode, it’s important to remember that some fantastic things happened as well!

5. here’s the thing: i don’t think dick killed jericho in the way that he probably thinks he does. dick is a hugely unreliable narrator--that’s been his Thing since s1. part of me thinks jericho should be dead; whatever happened with him and the titans has been built up to be such an earth-shattering event that it would kinda be cheating if he survived anyway. the other bigger part of me says: fuck that noise. JOEY WILSON LIVES, and that’s that

6. gar was sleeping? are you kidding me??? i’m assuming deathstroke drugged him or something so that he wouldn’t be there to Talk Sense and stop these melodramatic fools from tearing into each other. i can only hope that there’s some Big Plans for him down the line. 

[parabelled]

What books are you currently reading? :)

Some of these I’m currently reading are books I’ve already read/ started reading, but had to put aside or haven’t reread in a long time. Others are books I’ve read for the first time, but I’m trying to catch up on as well. Lastly, I’ve got some books coming in the mail. I’ll note all categories below.

(Note: Books I’ve already read and rereading have an asterisk next to them, so you know they’re really good. xD)

Books I’m Currently Rereading:

All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque*: ‘All Quiet on the Western Front is a novel by Erich Maria Remarque, a German veteran of World War I. The book describes the German soldiers' extreme physical and mental stress during the war, and the detachment from civilian life felt by many of these soldiers upon returning home from the front.’

Notes on a Scandal by Zoe Heller* (TW: As a novel and as someone who experienced underage sexual abuse, I acknowledge this could be very triggering and there are sections I have to skip by. However, the film starring Dame Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett is so fantastic, and the material provided here so dark and so twisted, it’s a fantastic example of a double-twist and a fucked-up unreliable narrator): Notes on a Scandal is a 2003 novel by Zoë Heller. It is about a female teacher at a London comprehensive school who begins an affair with an underage pupil. 

Jane Austen’s Persuasion* (Note: This is my favourite Jane Austen novel): ‘Of all Jane Austen’s great and delightful novels, Persuasion is widely regarded as the most moving. It is the story of a second chance. Anne Elliot, daughter of the snobbish Sir Walter Elliot, is woman of quiet charm and deep feelings. When she was nineteen she fell in love with—and was engaged to—a naval officer, the fearless and headstrong Captain Wentworth. But the young man had no fortune, and Anne allowed herself to be persuaded to give him up. Now, eight years later, Wentworth has returned to the neighborhood, a rich man and still unwed. Anne’s never-diminished love is muffled by her pride, and he seems cold and unforgiving. What happens as the two are thrown together in the social world of Bath—and as an eager new suitor appears for Anne—is touchingly and wittily told in a masterpiece that is also one of the most entrancing novels in the English language.’

Books I’ve Started Reading, But Had to Put Aside at One Point:

Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors, and the Drug Company that Addicted America by Beth Macy: ‘Dopesick is an unflinching look at the opioid crisis in the US, which is predicted to kill more Americans in a decade than HIV has since it emerged in the 1980s.'

Tesla: Inventor of the Modern by Richard Munson: ‘Nikola Tesla invented the radio, robots, and remote control. His electric induction motors run our appliances and factories, yet he has been largely overlooked by history. In Tesla, Richard Munson presents a comprehensive portrait of this farsighted and underappreciated mastermind.’

Me by Elton John: ‘In his first and only official autobiography, music icon Elton John reveals the truth about his extraordinary life, which is also the subject of the smash-hit film Rocketman.’

Circe by Madeline Miller: ‘In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child--not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power--the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.’

Intellectual Property by Siva Vaidhyanathan: ‘We all create intellectual property. We all use intellectual property. Intellectual property is the most pervasive yet least understood way we regulate expression. Despite its importance to so many aspects of the global economy and daily life, intellectual property policy remains a confusing and arcane subject. This engaging book clarifies both the basic terms and the major conflicts surrounding these fascinating areas of law, offering a layman's introduction to copyright, patents, trademarks, and other forms of knowledge falling under the purview of intellectual property rights. Using vivid examples, noted media expert Siva Vaidhyanathan illustrates the powers and limits of intellectual property, distilling with grace and wit the complex tangle of laws, policies, and values governing the dissemination of ideas, expressions, inventions, creativity, and data collection in the modern world.’

The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky: ‘The Brothers Karamazov is a passionate philosophical novel set in 19th-century Russia, that enters deeply into the ethical debates of God, free will, and morality. It is a spiritual, theological drama of moral struggles concerning faith, doubt, judgment, and reason, set against a modernizing Russia, with a plot which revolves around the subject of patricide.’

The Balkans by Mark Mazower: ‘Throughout history, the Balkans have been a crossroads, a zone of endless military, cultural, and economic mixing and clashing between Europe and Asia, Christianity and Islam, Catholicism and Orthodoxy. In this highly acclaimed short history, Mark Mazower sheds light on what has been called the tinderbox of Europe, whose troubles have ignited wider wars for hundreds of years. Focusing on events from the emergence of the nation-state onward, The Balkans reveals with piercing clarity the historical roots of current conflicts and gives a landmark reassessment of the region’s history, from the world wars and the Cold War to the collapse of communism, the disintegration of Yugoslavia, and the continuing search for stability in southeastern Europe.’

Books I’m Reading for the First Time:

Darling Rose Gold by Stephanie Wrobel (This is a guilty pleasure basically because I’m a True Crime nerd: It’s basically that Blanchard case in a novel form): ‘For the first eighteen years of her life, Rose Gold Watts believed she was seriously ill. She was allergic to everything, used a wheelchair, and practically lived at the hospital. Neighbors did all they could, holding fundraisers and offering shoulders to cry on, but no matter how many doctors, tests, or surgeries, no one could figure out what was wrong with Rose Gold.Turns out her mom, Patty Watts, was just a really good liar.After serving five years in prison, Patty gets out with nowhere to go and begs her daughter to take her in. The entire community is shocked when Rose Gold says yes.Patty insists all she wants is to reconcile their differences. She says she's forgiven Rose Gold for turning her in and testifying against her. But Rose Gold knows her mother. Patty Watts always settles a score. Unfortunately for Patty, Rose Gold is no longer her weak little darling...And she's waited such a long time for her mother to come home.’

The Plague by Albert Camus: ‘A gripping tale of human unrelieved horror, of survival and resilience, and of the ways in which humankind confronts death, The Plague is at once a masterfully crafted novel, eloquently understated and epic in scope, and a parable of ageless moral resonance, profoundly relevant to our times. In Oran, a coastal town in North Africa, the plague begins as a series of portents, unheeded by the people. It gradually becomes an omnipresent reality, obliterating all traces of the past and driving its victims to almost unearthly extremes of suffering, madness, and compassion.’

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway: ‘A Moveable Feast is a memoir by American author Ernest Hemingway about his years as a struggling young expat journalist and writer in Paris in the 1920s. The book, first published in 1964, describes the author's apprenticeship as a young writer while he was married to his first wife, Hadley Richardson.’

Books Coming in the Mail:

The Outsider by Albert Camus: ‘L'Étranger is a 1942 novel by French author Albert Camus. Its theme and outlook are often cited as examples of Camus's philosophy, absurdism coupled with that of existentialism, though Camus personally rejected the latter label.’

Becoming by Michelle Obama: ‘Becoming is the memoir of former United States first lady Michelle Obama published in 2018. Described by the author as a deeply personal experience, the book talks about her roots and how she found her voice, as well as her time in the White House, her public health campaign, and her role as a mother.’

Things Fall Apart: A Novel by Chinua Achebe*: ‘Things Fall Apart is the debut novel by Nigerian author Chinua Achebe, first published in 1958. Its story chronicles pre-colonial life in the southeastern part of Nigeria and the arrival of Europeans during the late 19th century.’

E.M. Forster’s Maurice* (I accidentally ordered a copy when I already own one I couldn’t find and thought I had to donate moving home from uni. Whoops xD (But seriously you can never have too many copies of this book): ‘Maurice is a novel by E. M. Forster. A tale of homosexual love in early 20th-century England, it follows Maurice Hall from his schooldays through university and beyond. It was written in 1913–1914, and revised in 1932 and 1959–1960.’

Howard’s End by E.M. Forster: ‘Howard’s End is a novel by E. M. Forster, first published in 1910, about social conventions, codes of conduct and relationships in turn-of-the-century England. Howards End is considered by many to be Forster's masterpiece. ‘

War and Peace by Tolstoy: ‘War and Peace broadly focuses on Napoleon’s invasion of Russia in 1812 and follows three of the most well-known characters in literature: Pierre Bezukhov, the illegitimate son of a count who is fighting for his inheritance and yearning for spiritual fulfillment; Prince Andrei Bolkonsky, who leaves his family behind to fight in the war against Napoleon; and Natasha Rostov, the beautiful young daughter of a nobleman who intrigues both men.’

I’m also hoping to order The Skin We’re In by Desmond Cole and How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram Kendi next time I get some cash in my pocket; the fact that the library still isn’t open locally and shows no sign of opening soon is wrecking havoc with any budgeting I might usually do. xD But hopefully this gives you some ideas for books to search out! <3

[two-are-the-trees]

31 Days of Poe Day 11: “The Tell-Tale Heart”

“The Tell-Tale Heart” is one of Poe’s most famous and renowned works, reaching levels of recognition alongside “The Raven” and “Annabelle Lee.” It has been referenced and parodied in numerous ways (including the all-important honor of a Spongebob episode) and still proves just as chilling to readers today as it did when it was first written. There is no sense of melancholy or tragedy in this tale, just pure primal anticipation and shocked horror at what the darkest parts of humanity are capable of. The building tension, gruesome violence, and terrifying instability of the narrator all combine in Poe’s most heart-pounding (pun intended) tale. 

The story is told from the perspective of a man attempting to assure the reader of his own sanity. He begins to tell the tale of his troubled relationship with an old man whom he looked after. He claims to have harbored no ill will for the old man, however, he grew increasingly more disturbed by one of the man’s eyes, which he describes as cold and vulture-like. This mania leads the narrator to the conclusion that he must dispose of the old man in order to rid himself of the eye. From here, the narrator gives a detailed and methodical account of how he did away with his master and the strange events that followed. 

The most innovative and fascinating aspect of “The Tell-Tale Heart” is the complicated perspective of the narrator. He is very clear and detailed when describing his tale, explaining his reasoning behind every decision in order to assure his audience that he is completely aware of his actions and remains in his right mind. The irony is, however, that everything the narrator does to cement his own sanity actually indicates that he is a deeply troubled person and possesses very unusual reasoning. The narrator’s fixation on the eye is the first signal of this. The is fully able to understand that his hatred of the eye and his feelings toward the old man are in no way related, yet he cannot explain why the eye upsets him so much, even to the point of violence. He is willing to kill the old man just in order to rid himself of the eye, with no thought to the consequences of his actions. From this point, the reader is forced to decide how reliable the narrator actually is, creating an underlying tension throughout the story that only builds as the narrator becomes more outwardly unhinged. 

Poe’s language is also chilling in this tale, to reflect the turbulent thoughts of a narrator who has just murdered in cold blood. Through the narrator, he describes every small emotion and detail involving the murder. Horrifying anticipation builds at an agonizingly slow pace as Poe describes the narrator slowly opening the bedroom door by inches and carefully opening the lantern by minute degrees. We feel both the fear of the narrator and the fear of the old man lying in the dark as the old man’s heartbeat provides the only frantic sound in the oppressive darkness. This moment where both the murderer and victim wait in the dark room is one of Poe’s most impressive scenes. The tension becomes almost unbearable and the narrator’s calculated analysis of the old man’s progress of fear comes off like a predator stalking its prey. It’s the fear of unknown sounds and potential dangers in the darkness that we can all relate to, driving the scene home with primal terror. 

Would I recommend “The Tell-Tale Heart”? Absolutely, if you haven’t read this story by now, drop what you are doing and read it. Whether you enjoy it for the twisted glimpse into a killer’s mind, the masterfully crafted suspense, or the shocking ending, you will find that this cold-blooded story sticks with you and grips you until the very end. This is also one of Poe’s most commonly adapted stories and you can find screen and stage renditions of it from various time periods. I personally recommend the version in the anthology that I have mentioned a few times before called Extraordinary Tales. As a reflection of the innovative way in which this story is told, the segment features impressively strange black and white animation and is one of the most unsettling short films I’ve seen. In every rendition of the tale, however, the tension and unnerving behavior of the narrator remain.

For more analysis (which contains spoilers!!!) please read below the cut!

As I mentioned above, the unreliability of the narrator, as he unsuccessfully attempts to convince the reader of his sanity, is a remarkable feature of the tale and adds an interesting layer to a story of muder, rather than the story being told by a third party perspective. We are able to get directly into the murderers mind and attempt to understand why he did what he did. 

The narrator claims that all of his bouts of irrational behavior are caused by an acute perception of senses, like his sensitivity to the sight of the old man’s eye, however, it is clear that his lack of sanity is what causes him to hear the old man’s heart beating underneath the floorboards even though he has been dead for some time. Further, his lack of sanity makes him unable to cope with these perceptions, causing him to lash out. 

This brings us to the climax of the story, in which the narrator is driven wild by the sound of the beating heart under the floorboards and dramatically confesses his crime to the inspectors. There are several plausible interpretations of this moment and I think each one provides a different perspective from which to view the rest of the story. Perhaps the most obvious reading, as I mentioned above, is that the narrator’s unstable mental state is ultimately his downfall. While he is able to maintain his composure during the beginning of his visit and is able to accurately describe the process of the murder and his motivations, he cannot silence the auditory hallicunation of the beating heart and must confess in order to make it stop. It is a similar situation to what the narrator experienced with the eye. What he calls a sensory sensitivity is actually a much more severe condition that causes him to take drastic actions. 

The second possible reading is that the beating heart is a representation of guilt. The narrator is able to commit the murder and dispose of the body without any hesitation, however, once the task is complete and he is left to sit and contemplate what has occurred, he is gradually overtaken by guilt. This guilt could be inflamed by the fact that the narrator presents himself with such confidence and bravado regarding the inspectors, showing them every inch of his home and having them sit and rest right above the spot where the old man’s body lies beneath the floorboards. By doing this, the narrator steeps himself in the crime and is ultimately unable to handle the pressure of containing this devastating secret. This is why he thinks that he hears the heartbeat and becomes increasingly suspicious that the inspectors know he committed the crime. His own guilt leads him to give himself up, providing a fascinating commentary on the human psyche and how it deals with guilt. Poe would seem to indicate that humans are not capable of containing such vast amounts of mental pressure and, sooner or later, it will emerge. 

I think, however, that there could be another possibility to how the scene plays out. One of the most dramatic aspects of the tale is how the narrator gives himself away, rather than inspectors finding evidence or uncovering the body themselves. But is it possible that the narrator could be right when he cries “They know!”? Do the inspectors actually suspect that he committed the crime before his confession? This is where the unreliable narrator comes into play. We know that that narrator is clearly not sane despite his claims and we know that his perception of reality is somewhat warped. Therefore, it’s possible that he was not acting as collected and convincing when inviting the inspectors in as he leads us to believe. He does a very poor job of convincing the reader that he is sane, perhaps the case is similar with the inspectors. It’s entirely possible that the officers actually WERE increasing the pressure of the situation, playing along with the narrator’s bravado, sitting in the room where he suspiciously directed them, and staying for a long time in order to get him to crack. This would explain why the narrator keeps remarking “Why won’t they go?” The animated version of this tale in Extraordinary Tales plays with this idea, making the inspectors incredibly intimidating and emotionless with dark, reflective sunglasses. It really appears as if they DO know that the narrator committed the crime and that all they have to do is wait until he crumbles. 

So, what do y’all think? Do you think the inspectors were on to something? How reliable IS the narrator? Is there a deeper significance to the “vulture eye?” To share your opinion, please comment on this post or send me an ask! You can also use the tag #31daysofpoe to create your own response post!

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

What would u say are the best and worst book narrated by each character ?

I sat down to come up with my least favorite book by each narrator and had a pretty easy time of it — there’s an unfortunate dip in quality in the series around #39 - #43 that I can point to as definitely not my faves — and then ended up totally baffled by how to choose JUST ONE favorite book by each narrator, because such a task is almost impossible.  In conclusion, I really love Animorphs, as you probably never would have guessed from reading this blog.  So, with a little cheating, here goes:

Tobias

Least favorite: #43, The Test

The plot of this book pretty much requires that all of the characters, but most notably Rachel and Jake, act in ways that really don’t fit with their behavior for the rest of the series.  My cynical hypothesis about What Was The Ghost Even Thinking rhymes with schmender schtereotyping, but even if I more kindly assume that everyone was just acting strange to jerk Taylor around, I can’t really enjoy this book.

Favorite: #49, The Diversion

Tobias’s point of view works so well for this book, because its plot draws attention to his status as a partial outsider not only for human society as a whole but also for his team.  He’s literally trapped in a liminal space that here actually gives him a lot of perspective on his friends’ families — and the importance of sticking close to his own.  (And by that I mean 93% Ax, 7% Loren.)

Other favorite: #23, The Pretender

Speaking of Tobias being sort of stuck between roles, this book is so good because it shows the strength of his position as both able to access and able to escape being human.  He moves flexibly between a ton of different roles in this book — a leader to the hork-bajir, a supporter to Jake, a parent to himself, a son to Elfangor, a quasi-hawk, a quasi-human, a quasi-andalite — and does so with astounding grace and aplomb.  Resting bitchface has never seemed like a cooler accidental superpower.

Another favorite: #33, The Illusion

This book is the brutal shadow-self to #23, instead shutting Tobias out of a whole bunch of different roles over the course of the plot.  It does however contain one of the series’s best villains (Taylor is terrifyingly sympathetic) and some of its best moments of heartwarming body horror in the final battle.

Ax

Least favorite: #8, The Alien

Honestly, there’s nothing really wrong with this book, but there’s nothing amazingly right about it either.  It has a few great moments (Jake’s naïve optimism at the kandron’s destruction giving way to fear for Tom, Ax having dinner with Cassie’s family, Tobias definitely not tattling on Ax) but overall the plot is just kind of inane and doesn’t do much to move the series forward.

Favorite: #38, The Arrival

Estrid et al. act as such a cool check-in for not only how much Ax has grown as a person through spending too much time around humans, but also how much the team as a whole has grown until they are actually more effective warriors than a group of battle-trained andalite assassins.  Every time I reread this book I end up making noises of triumph and fist-pumping the air, no matter how public my location is at the time.

Favorite favorite: #46, The Deception

This plot hinges on the stark contrast between Ax’s terrible and unavoidable awareness about the horror of open war and the Animorphs’ lack of standard of comparison beyond “hey, remember D-Day?”  MM3 and #28 both do important work to condemn humanity from the outside, but this book actually uses Ax’s perspective primarily for celebrating the whole human species from an outsider’s point of view.

Marco

Least favorite: #40, The Other

As I’ve mentioned here, at this book’s core is an interesting concept that very emphatically does not age well.  On top of the cringe-inducing attempt at an After School Special treatment of the idea that (*gasp*) queer men with AIDS are human too, it also has a largely nonsensical plot that strains both credulity and logic.

Favorite: #25, The Extreme

It’s a brilliant use of Marco’s perspective to comment on the constraints and terrifying outer reaches of Jake’s leadership, one that also contains a highly enjoyable mix of humor and horror.  Because Marco.  I could reread this one a thousand times and still find new aspects of the narration to delight in.

Also favorite: #15, The Escape

This book makes amazing use of Marco’s unreliable narration and lack of self-insight to contrast his willingness to imagine himself confronting sharks with his willingness to run from them upon a real encounter, along with his determination to kill his mom and his inability to stop himself from saving her.  Marco is at his most human in this book, and also his most lovable.

Also also favorite: #51, The Absolute

The governor of probably-California is one of my favorite minor characters in the series, and I absolutely love the dynamic between Marco-Tobias-Ax any time it occurs (this book, #46, #30, #49), meaning that this surprisingly fun aside acts as a much-needed breath of fresh air and comic relief in between the Animorphs losing the morphing cube (#50) and blowing up the Yeerk Pool (#52).  Plus, Marco + tank  = OTP.

Cassie

Least favorite: #39, The Hidden

I’ve said most of this before, but this book is just… nonsensical.  And it’s not delightfully nonsensical like parts of #26 or #14, it’s mostly cringe-inducingly nonsensical.

Favorite: #29, The Sickness

Arguably this is the best Animorphs book, both IMHO and by fan consensus.  It’s got a simple but devlishly difficult plot, a ton of great characterization moments for all six kids, a handful of brilliant devices and settings that meld beautifully to Cassie’s overall character arc, and a wide-reaching perspective on the importance of overcoming difference that is a huge part of what makes these books so good.  It’s also funny, horrifying, edge-of-your-seat engaging, and tear-inducingly beautiful at the very end.

Also my favorite: #4, The Message

Whereas #29 is probably just hands-down the best book ever written, #4 holds a special place in my heart because it’s the first Animorphs book I ever read and the one that convinced me to go find the rest of the series.  This one is sweet and mystical, bleak with the dawning realization that these poor defenseless cinnamon rolls are in this war alone but also hopeful with the realization that these precious cinnamon rolls are in this war together.

Jake

Least favorite: #47, The Resistance

Although I’m of the opinion that #41 is more poorly-plotted, this book manages to be both poorly plotted and glaringly racist.  Its plot doesn’t make sense on several different levels, not the least that Visser Three knows how to find the hork-bajir valley in this book and then apparently forgets how to get there for the entire rest of the series.  And don’t get me started on Jake’s reprehensible behavior from the moment he casually declares Tom “as good as dead,” through to him trying to boss Toby about what’s best for Toby herself, all the way on to him being a jerk to Rachel and Marco. Blah.

Favorite: #31, The Conspiracy

Unlike #47, this book actually makes really good use of Jake’s character flaws to drive the plot forward — he’s bad at being vulnerable, and that ends up being a huge problem for his team.  It also leans hard on the irony of Jake being the only one with a “textbook” family (i.e. upper-middle class, heteronormative and monogamous, European-American, traditionally gendered, outwardly happy) and also being the only one under constant threat for his life any time he’s at home, thereby accomplishing one of the series’s better comments on the fact that children’s lives aren’t as simple as we’d like to think.

Favoriter: #53, The Answer

There are definitely flaws with RL implications in this book, but the plot is so freaking brilliant that I can still regard it as a Problematic Fave.  The final battle is so well-engineered and the Moral Event Horizon is so terrifying as it swings by that I assign this book to myself for rereading any time I’m struggling to write action or battle.  It’s a scary, awful book, but also a very fitting capstone to the series.

Favoritest: #26, The Attack

This setting is so cool.  This plot is so cosmic and yet so personal.  This use of the chee is so bitingly brilliant in its commentary on pacifism as a luxury not everyone can afford.  This story has so many moments that are either heartbreaking callbacks (the opening scene with Tom’s memories from #6) or bloodcurdling foreshadowing (Jake and Rachel’s casually absolute trust that each will be willing and able to kill the other if necessary).  This narration feels like a middle-aged and yet middle-school protagonist struggling to figure out who he wants to be — and defeating a cosmic power at its own game with the power of love.  I could gush forever.

Rachel

Least favorite: #48, The Return

Again, there’s nothing truly wrong with this book; it’s just a silly and inconsequential aside into the main character’s maybe-dreams at a time when the plot outside her head is heating up to the boiling point.  It makes this whole thing come off kind of like Bilbo sleeping through the Battle of Five Armies.

Favorite: #27, The Exposed

I’m not normally a big one for romance, but this book makes me ship Rachel and Tobias so hard that my tiny bitter walnut of a heart grows two sizes every time I read it.  Rachel has such great self-awareness that she doesn’t like any situation she cannot control or at least do violent battle against, and yet she dives into the bottom of the ocean with both eyes open and her chin up because that’s what she has to do to protect the rest of her team.  Crayak has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to asking her to turn on her loved ones.

Additional favorite: #32, The Separation

As I’ve said, I didn’t really get this book until I realized that it’s not so much about Rachel herself as it is about how the rest of her team views her, and how she defies their simple categorizations, both well-meaning (Cassie) and not (Jake), through simply being herself.  Rachel is both masculine and feminine, both tough and vulnerable, and she makes no apologies for any of it.

And another favorite: #37, The Weakness

This book has an important role for the rest of the series in that it shows how the Animorphs’ guerilla tactics can easily be taken too far, and also how Jake’s discernment of his teammates’ strengths and weaknesses keeps them all alive.  Rachel makes a fair number of logical-seeming decisions in this book that prove short-sighted, and of course it all leads to her and Jake’s brutal Checkovian epiphany at the end.

Added additional also favorite: #22, The Solution

A brutal but powerful read, this book focuses on the ugliest parts of Rachel’s personality (her sadism toward David) but also the most powerful ones (her compassion for Saddler and protectiveness toward both Jake and Jordan).  It also shows that her reckless taste for violence and her boundless desire to protect her families both biological and found are actually two sides of the same part of her personality.

Okay I have a lot of favorite Rachel books: #17, The Underground

It’s oat-freaking-meal.  Only it’s not just oat-freaking-meal, and I’m not talking about the extra-tasty maple and ginger flavoring.  It’s a biological weapon.  It’s a way to harm the enemy, but only through harming prisoners of war.  It’s a social dilemma the like of which we rarely see in children’s books.  It’s a lesson in decision making under uncertainty.  It’s a moral imperative, but no one is quite sure what that imperative is saying.  It’s a deconstruction of the implied assumption that it’s possible to write adventure stories in which no one gets hurt.  It’s awesome.  It’s hilarious.  It’s disturbing as fuck.  Welcome to Animorphs.

[leonawriter]

Okay okay - work with me, the first time I thought ‘Genesis dancing’ I thought ‘ballroom, probably?’, because he’s got that sense of innate grace, elegance, and all... 

But you know what I realised? I realised I was wrong. 

Genesis’ chosen forms might be more ballroom and elegance, but-

Traditional country folk dances. Banora is an old-style country village. He’d have grown up with them.

Like... just imagine the seasonal harvest festival in Banora. Angeal and Genesis in their country best, being taught step here now, touch your partner’s fingers, turn around and clap.

Watch this - it’s not quite the right era here (this is Regency, with upper-middle class families, mostly) and if it is, it’s the wrong place and people, but... it’s the right sort of energy. The right style, and music. 

Actually, the part of the opening of Dirge of Cerberus where it shows the celebration in Kalm is perfect for showing what I mean.

And the thing is, like I was saying before - Genesis and Angeal would have danced these dances. Perhaps not when they were older, but when they were younger, definitely. 

Angeal would love the festivals, because there’d be plenty of food to go around for everyone (and people would hardly notice especially toward the end of the night if some went... missing) and Genesis would probably complain about the noise, and people pestering him to dance with them, and he can’t wait until he’s SOLDIER because he wouldn’t be tired by now if he was, and yet once you got him moving he’d be laughing and smiling.

I... really wish we’d been able to see more of canonical Banoran culture, but I have to believe that given it’s a country village with the wealthy landowner (Genesis’ parents) and orchards that become the town’s main export, and where there are poorer people and those who steal apples because they’re poor, I think it’d be inevitable that they’d have to put on their own entertainment. 

Just by looking in Genesis’ house and where Angeal’s mother was still living, there didn’t seem to be any TVs, probably not much radio signal out that far. Shinra propaganda might get through, but then, it’s a Shinra built town.

So you get people organising festivals at harvest and at other times of year, to break up the long months. You get people with space inviting others in so that they can put on a show - if you’ve got room for several tables in a room, there’s room to put tables aside and dance. Room to set up a stage and watch performers. Does anyone know how to play an instrument? Good, you’re up. Can anyone sing? You too.

Not just that, either. If they’re doing manual labour, you’d end up with working songs, and songs without words, and rhymes that make no sense to anyone who isn’t from Banora, because this is something that only happens in Banora. 

Imagine Zack walking in on Angeal and he’s humming what sounds like a nonsense rhyme. 

Or maybe Genesis is tapping out what he thinks is something completely meaningless, but it’s actually that one song from years back that he can’t get out of his head.

...Actually, you know what? They should have shown us some of Banora’s culture - they should have shown us a few flashbacks to before, when Genesis and Angeal were still living there. It would have hit home just what Genesis later does to the place, all the people who die, but it’d also foreshadow (or explain/call back to) all the mysteries surrounding the two of them, and the town itself.

Like. Imagine if Crisis Core had shown an opening FMV with no context right at the start, showing one of these festivals - we see a young redhead breaking away from people who by their actions are clearly supposed to be his parents, but look nothing like him, and who seem both overbearing and also unsure of how to be parents. We’d see who we’d later find out is the young Genesis running through the crowds to find the young Angeal, whose mother is watching over him as he hovers at the food tables, worried about him for some reason. 

The two young boys breaking away from the rest of the festivities, Genesis half dragging Angeal toward somewhere that we’d later find is the Banora Underground, while the camera pans away-

And then bam we’re with Zack. We think we know who this man is he’s talking to when he becomes visible, but we aren’t sure because we never learned anyone’s name before. 

So if we had that, the moment when we see Lazard flash up Genesis’ profile on the screen would hit that much harder - because you know who this is already. Even without any sort of further explanation, you know ‘this man grew up with the one who defected. ouch, this is gonna hurt.’

Later on, we’d still hear the dumbapples story from Angeal when Zack goes to Wutai, but this time we have more context; we’d already seen just what kind of place Angeal and Genesis lived in, and what poor meant to Angeal. There’d be a greater understanding than Zack, and perhaps that could be good, because it could drive in the idea that Zack wants to help people, but he’s on the outside, and he can’t always understand their problems. 

When we follow Zack to Banora, we’ll have seen these trees before, we’ll know where we are, we’ll be having a bad feeling about this. When we see the empty village when it’d been so full and lively before? That’d be an extra sense of foreboding, because this is not normal. Especially when Zack tries the houses and comes up with nothing other than monsters, and when he does find someone-

We’ve already seen Angeal’s mother once, when she was younger, and here she looks older, and tired. That worry we’d seen? Has worn lines into her face. Maybe there’s something from the FMV that’s an artefact of better times, and we can recognise it.

In this version, when Angeal’s mother says about Genesis that he was “Such a good boy”, we don’t think ‘oh, because that’s what they all say about kids who suddenly murder their entire home!’, we think, ‘yeah, he was, what happened to change that?’. A flashback to the FMV might happen, or something with his younger model turning into that sepia-tainted view of Genesis standing over the empty village.

When we see Genesis talk about his parents like he does, saying that they had ‘betrayed him from the very start’, we would know that there might have been something else going on. We might know from some sign dropped in the FMV that he’s not exactly lying, that they were watching him for Shinra. But... we might also know that Genesis is an unreliable narrator, and his parents may have cared for him somewhat more than he believed that they did - making the story more tragic, but also helping us know that there really are two sides to this story. We know that if Genesis believes this, then we know from how Cloud and so many others were used and thrown away by Shinra in the main game, he had every right to be furious. But we’d also know how bittersweet and awful it is, the truth that might in this version eventually come to light that they might have turned on Shinra for him (which is only shared to us through the Ultimania, but I see as canon).

How about Genesis going through the game and not just having LOVELESS (blasphemy, I know) but also all of those Banoran songs and rhymes and bits and snatches of music, and the only other person who can echo them is Angeal. Genesis might also say something - a Banoran rhyme - to Sephiroth, who doesn't know its meaning, and Genesis explaining drives home the entire subplot of Sephiroth does not feel as though he fits in anywhere, Sephiroth does not have a home, and also, Sephiroth no longer has his friends.

Make Banora one of the overarching themes of the game, like it essentially is, because when Zack’s on the run and is trying to find Genesis to get him to stop,  he remembers how Genesis doesn’t just carry a dumbapple around everywhere... there’s also those weird things he says every so often.

We follow Genesis back, and we know we’re getting near the end of the game, because this is the Banora Underground, this is where Genesis was leading Angeal all those years ago, and it’s going to feel like we’re closing the chapter of this story, ending this book, just like how Genesis gives his version of LOVELESS’ Fifth Act. Zack’s been walking through its pages, hardly even knowing what he’s doing, trying to fix things and trying to help and when Genesis looks into the face of his goddess, she lets him see her disappointment - because he isn’t the hero of this story. Zack is.

And when Angeal appears when Zack’s dying, well. I can see there being a specific leitmotif playing for just a moment, something people sing or say that makes them keep going, or to say that it’s going to be okay now, because you can take Banora off the map, but a place as influential as that ends up touching the people who’ve lived there, and who’ve been affected by it.

I dunno, I just think world building is cool and so is a bit more backstory, y’know?

[herselfportrait]

ALBUM REVIEW: ARCTIC MONKEYS ‘TRANQUILITY BASE HOTEL & CASINO’

(This review originally featured on Backseat Mafia)

Before I say anything at all, I think it’s best you and I agree: nothing the Arctic Monkeys could have produced would have been enough. They are simply too loved – and for that, they are damned. We can take a look in that rose-tinted lens of retrospect, through each fleeting, transitory era: from ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not’, those lads with the impish gleam in their eye and that coarse, casual way of grabbing you by the collar, slamming you up against a wall and making you listen; all the way through to ‘AM’, that slicked back, seedy record that was dripping in LA arrogance with a Brylcreem sheen. Both are anthemic. Both are, arguably, the twin peaks of their career – yet they are a million miles apart, comparable only by that vein of straight-up rock that has made them heirs to the title of the greatest indie band of our generation. Now, for their sixth album ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’, we’re not talking in miles apart – we’re talking lightyears – from what’s been done before. We’re in a casino on the moon, and the Arctic Monkeys are going all-in.

Divisive, different and by default, dangerous: it’s a risk; from the moment it was released, it’s sent a crack right down the middle of their fanbase. The Nostalgics, misty-eyed for that glorious chip-shop rock we fell in love with, listened to ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ and gutted it. This isn’t what we came for, they thought, we didn’t want The Last Shadow Puppets’ sloppy seconds, or what Mini Mansions’ chewed up and spat out. It doesn’t feel right. It feels different – but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You need to get your mind in the right place to even begin to appreciate it, let alone understand what the fuck it’s trying to do.

This record began in front of a Steinway Vertegrand piano Alex Turner received for his 30th birthday in his spare room. As these stray songs began to orbit around the same star, Turner named his makeshift studio ‘The Lunar Surface’ after the conspiracy that Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landing on a soundstage. He took this idea, and he applied it more than literally. Born from this came a high-concept album: it follows the goings-on in Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino – a hotel on the moon – at once as surreal and as cheap as it sounds, with its menagerie of unreliable cynics for narrators who Turner melds into, eleven different faces for the same man.

We all know that Alex Turner is one of the greatest lyricists of our time. It’s an irrefutable fact and I dare anyone to say otherwise. After reading the lyrics for each track on this album, it was impossible to not feel overwhelmed with the style, tone and quality. That same snide sense of humour and that sharpened wit that The Strokes’ Julian Casablancas said, after the release of their first album, made them “good, maybe a little too fucking good” is still intact, but now Turner is more nuanced, and the most enjoyable part of his lyrics is no longer their colloquial plainness, but the subtle shades of expression, concepts and references he makes throughout.

In the opening track ‘Star Treatment’, a sleazy, lounge-like atmosphere is evoked. The instrumental is languorous and manages to be a powerful asset of the song without demanding to be heard. Turner’s vocals are at a sultry lull; he’s in the habit of holding each syllable and savouring it. The lack of that spleen-busting pace we’re so accustomed to with the Arctic Monkeys previous work seems to let the devoted listener appreciate it so much more. The overriding theme of ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ is expressed here from the outset: “I just wanted to be one of The Strokes/ Now look at the mess you make me make”, a disillusionment of stardom, and perhaps a dissatisfaction when dreams don’t align with reality.

You could accuse this album of being repetitive: the same, grandiose piano and tinkling synths are used in every song and seem consciously stripped of a chorus. Despite this, ‘Batphone’ stands out to me and I end up being drawn back towards it. This synthesiser-saturated song, with its infectious loop and profound bass comes off as ghoulishly theatrical. It feels like I’d be pointing out the obvious to call not only this song – but the entire album, for that matter – Bowie-esque to the hilt. Turner exemplifies another theme well here: the corruptive nature of modern technology. With lines like “Have I told you all about the time that I got sucked into a hole/ Through a handheld device?”, Turner seems to be evoking Black Mirror dystopia he hits home on almost every track. This song will undeniably be overlooked in the face of the likes of Four Out of Five, which seems to have taken the spotlight as the go-to track on the album. The verses and guitarwork bear a tenuous resemblance to Arctic Monkeys-past with an infectious beat. Despite its length, clocking in at just over 5 minutes long, I feel that despite its humdrum chorus anchoring the heart of the song, the verses and bridge are where the real piquancy of this song lies that keeps it worthy of listening to – for those who stay until the end, the zenith of the song is reached with a saxophone section that really sets it apart from the rest of the tracks on this album.

It is of little surprise to me that this atmospheric album built upon grandeur and theatrics is a bitter pill to swallow for what is now a fractured fanbase, split between the real and the surreal. Arctic Monkeys have discarded the unaffected sincerity of their early days and swapped it for a grey area of either pure genius, or simply pretentiousness dressed up as it. Initially, Arctic Monkeys didn’t want to put their name to Tranquillity Base Hotel & Casino, instead thinking it would fare better as Alex Turner’s solo project – perhaps it would have been better that way. But the more I think about it, the more I feel that what we expect from Arctic Monkeys is long gone, irretrievable; Alex Turner has the keys to one of the greatest indie bands we’ve ever seen, and if he wants to drive it differently, no one can stop him. Call it what you want, evolving or devolving: whatever people say they were, that’s what they’re not.

[mermaidsirennikita]

March 2018 Book Roundup

I read a lot of books this month!  And two of them were actually five star reads, which I would recommend for completely different reasons.  Read A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena if you want to be completely devastated.  Read To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo if you want a fantastic fairy tale romp with a good bit of blood.  But like, read both?  There was also one pretty big disappointment (that was still by no means a failure, this book just got hyped to hell) and a book I actually hated.  So like, a mixed bag!

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton.  4/5.  In Orleans, beauty drives people--in part because they don’t naturally have it.  They’re born gray-skinned, red-eyed, and ugly; and this can only be changed with the help of a Belle, one of the lovely young women with the power to (temporarily) manipulate people’s physical appearances.  Camellia is making her Belle debut with her sisters--but only one can get the coveted spot of the queen’s favorite, working on the royal family.  Initially, Camellia is passed over; but when her winning sister mysteriously vacates the spot, she is thrust into the role of favorite and tasked with the seemingly impossible feat of healing the queen’s older daughter who’s been in a coma for years.  As it turns out, the fate of Orleans could very well hang in the balance.  On the surface, I thought that The Belles would be like a lot of those YA fantasy/dystopian books centered on looks that is basically a transparent riff on reality shows/21st century pop culture meets Harry Potter/The Hunger Games/What Have You.  In fact, the way the Belles work in their world is very much its own thing, and Clayton does a lovely job of weaving in these super sugary descriptions--obviously drawing from the French royal court of Marie Antoinette or Louis XIV--while never dropping this sense of mystery and dread.  Part of that mystery revolves around what the Belles really are, and to be honest I’m still not 100% sure about that--but this is the beginning of a series, and it’s incredibly intriguing.  Furthermore, the horror factor was much more present than I expected.  It’s a book that gets a lot out of the eeriness behind what people do for beauty--the only thing it needs to work on, for me, is fleshing out the characters a bit more.

Bygone Badass Broads by Mackenzi Lee.  3/5.  Lee expands on her popular Twitter series, telling the stories of women who have been scrubbed from history because they’re not white enough, not straight enough, not cis enough, or otherwise too transgressive in some other ways.  Basically, this is one of those books that lists dozens of rebellious or unusual women, and I tend to love that.  I wouldn’t say that this book is bad, but it also doesn’t rank super high in the subgenre.  Yes, Lee does a great job of digging up women that even I hadn’t heard of (and I say “even” because again, I read a lot of books like this) but the write-ups are so short (about three-ish pages on Nook each) that I didn’t get a lot out of them.  Which of course allows Lee to include more women, but I would have rather seen more about each woman and less women in general, especially as some were honestly--less impressive than others.  As important as lady publishers are, I feel like there’s less intrigue and yeah, importance overall to their stories compared to those about women like the Maribel sisters.  There were a couple of women included who were borderline legends as well, and I don’t know...  Maybe cut them in favor of the women who definitely did something?  Furthermore, there’s a huge imbalance in time periods, or at least it felt that way--I mean, it seemed like most of the ladies were from the nineteenth century and onward.  And that’s just a matter of personal taste--I’m more interested in history from ancient times to the eighteenth century.  Nineteenth century is where my interest begins to wane a bit!  But with that being said, it’s not a bad book and definitely a nice, quick read when you want to discover some interesting women written about in a chatty tone.

A Girl Like That by Tanaz Bhathena.  5/5.  For most of her life, Zarin--an Indian immigrant to Saudi Arabia--has been viewed as a bad girl.  She’s seen that way by the mentally ill aunt who raised her, subjected to abuse in part simply because she’s a “bastard orphan”.  Her uncle sympathizes but won’t actually help.  The girls at school and their mothers see her as a flirt and a bad influence.  The only person who seems to give Zarin a chance is Porus, the boy who worships the ground she walks on, no matter how careless she is about his feelings.  Now Porus and Zarin are dead in a car accident, and few know what actually lead up to it; in bits and pieces, from multiple perspectives, we learn the reality of Zarin’s life, and why she was far more than “a girl like that”.  First off, this book is absolutely heartbreaking.  Though you know from page one that Zarin and Porus are dead, you still fall in love with them and there’s this sense of dread throughout as you get closer and closer to their deaths.  Zarin is one of the best YA protagonists I’ve read about in a while--flawed but incredibly human, easy to relate to, and terribly wounded in a way that isn’t over the top.  And Porus isn’t a knight in shining armor, he’s a romantic boy in love with a girl who may or may not want him back, and the book doesn’t hesitate to call him out for his white knight-ing while not abandoning his inherent goodness (which is implied to be present because he had the influence of a good father, whereas the other, less good boys in the book are following the examples of shitty fathers).  It was great to read a YA contemporary novel that was set somewhere other than America, or even Europe.  The author has a background similar to Zarin’s, so she’s not talking out of her ass here.  And there’s a deep sympathy for almost every character in the book--even when they’re horrible, they aren’t mindless villains.  There are cultural and religious elements at play, and none of them are good or bad without cause.  As a warning, rape and abuse (sexual and otherwise) are themes throughout the book, as is depression, suicidal ideation, and more.  It’s not an easy read.  But it should absolutely be read.

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn.  4/5.  Anna is an agoraphobe and classic cinema fan, spending her days talking to fellow agoraphobes on a message board and her nights watching movies--and spying on her neighbors.  She hasn’t left her home in ten months, doesn’t live with her husband and daughter anymore, and seems beyond hope when her new neighbor Jane visits and breathes new life into her boring routine.  No sooner has Anna made a friend, however, than she sees something horrible happen in Jane’s home.  The issue?  Everyone--including the police--say that it didn’t happen.  This book is a clear Rear Window tribute, and acknowledges as much--in fact, Anna’s obsession with classic thrillers, along with her alcoholism and psych meds, probably contribute to her status as an unreliable narrator.  And I love an unreliable narrator.  Anna is flawed without losing my sympathy (another favorite character type) and while I can’t say that this is the most original thriller I’ve read, it’s entertaining and well-done and even a bit emotional.  Definitely satisfying.

Rosemarked by Livia Blackburne.  2/5.  Zivah is a healer, struck down by the same plague she’s been treating people for--the rose plague.  It will shorten her life but kill her slowly, isolating her in a little cottage (think shades of leprosy, but not as gross, of course). Dineas has survived the same plague, leaving him immune, and has escaped the Amparans who tortured him to the point of breaking.  His desire to liberate his people brings him to Zivah, who wants to make the remainder of her life mean something--and together the two unite on a mission to steal from the capital.  I think.  Honestly, this book was so boring that I wasn’t really absorbing much of the plot.  In theory, it’s such a cool idea: a slow-burn romance between a warrior and a dying healer that has them acting as spies.  But it’s told in alternating perspectives, and Dineas and Zivah are both so bland that I couldn’t really tell the difference between the two of them. There was a lot of summary without much urgency.  Also: the romance is clearly meant to be a big part of the story.  However, Dineas and Zivah lack chemistry, and this issue is only exacerbated by the fact that... for reasons... which I didn’t totally get... Dineas keeps having his memory taken away?  Willingly?  “For the mission”.  So Zivah is supposedly falling in love with amnesiac Dineas, who isn’t even really Dineas completely--or is he???  God, it made no sense.

Awayland by Ramona Ausubel.  3/5.  A collection of short stories capturing the feelings of dreaminess and wanderlust, often with a dose of magical realism.  This book is very difficult for me to describe, in part because it’s just kind of weird?  Definitely well-written if you like pretty, sometimes purple prose.  There were a few stories I really liked, some that simply baffled me, and in general I loved the sense of the different lands the author described.  However, one story made me particularly uncomfortable in the almost fetishistic way that it described Africa, and I can’t help but feel how... deliberately vague... it seems to be.  And I’m not sure what to think about that.

To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo.  5/5.  Princess Lira has seventeen hearts in her bedroom.  The daughter of the siren Sea Queen, Lira waits for the day that she takes her mother’s throne, building a fearsome reputation by taking the still-beating hearts of princes.  Prince Elian isn’t so dissimilar--however, he sails the seas killing sirens, and his reputation has made him a prize for the sirens.  After killing one of her mother’s subjects, Lira is punished with a human form.  The only way she can return to her true body--and remain her mother’s heir--is to get Elian’s heart--without any of her powers.  This Little Mermaid retelling is dark--focusing a good bit on the effects of abusive parenting--and bloody, starring a monster princess and a prince who isn’t so nice either.  Yes, it’s a story of two people who are mortal enemies hating each other until they maybe don’t so much.  Yes, it’s full of the various lands Elias and Lira visit and all of their royal families.  Yes, it was one of the most fun and engaging books I’ve read in a long time, and certainly one of the best fairy tale retellings I’ve read.  READ IT.

Blood Water Paint by Joy McCullough.  3/5.  A verse-driven retelling of Artemisia Gentileschi’s rape and its aftermath, interspersed with stories of the women who would inspire some of her most famous works.  Let me tell you this upfront: I feel that other people would enjoy this book much more than I did.  It’s written in a lovely way--the stories of Judith and Susanna are told by Artemisia’s mother, almost as bedtime stories, which is... a bit weird, but cool--and it is an incredibly important, if brutal, story.  It’s also, at face value, pretty accurate: Artemisia was the daughter of a mediocre painter who she learned from and surpassed; she was raped by Agostino Tassi after an initial romance; she was tortured in court to prove that she wasn’t lying about her rape.  The story does skirt over the fact that Artemisia wanted to marry her rapist, and his refusal to marry her drove her to seek justice--not the rape on its own.  And that bothered me, the lack of real confrontation of that fact.  Because it renders Artemisia an “imperfect victim”, and few rape survivors ARE perfect victims.  Certainly, few in the seventeenth century fit a twenty-first century idea of what rape survivors are like.  And that was a huge issue with the book in general.  Artemisia--and her mother, to an extent--thought and sounded like twenty-first century women.  Artemisia approached painting like a twenty-first century artist.  As someone who has studied Italian painting of this era, and how Italian women painters were treated and acted, it just... didn’t sit well for me.  Sure, the whole book was stylized, but you can have a stylized story without losing authenticity.  Again, this will probably be a fantastic book for people who don’t share my background with the story.  But it didn’t work for me.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw.  1/5.  Two centuries ago, the people of Sparrow drowned the three Swan sisters, all accused witches.  Ever since then, the sisters have returned every summer, possessing innocent girls until the solstice to seduce and drown boys.  Penny Talbot is familiar with the legend, and therefore hasn’t let herself get attached to the local boys.  Bo isn’t local--but he does have a connection to the sisters.  As they zero in on a boy she’s growing increasingly concerned for, Penny hunts for an answer to what the sisters really want and how she can stop them.  This was so bad.  So bad.  Bad because the idea was really cool--ghost witch sisters, possession, seduction, drowning--and there were some really interesting descriptions.  Basically, some of the bits that were just about the Swan sisters’ past were cool.  Some of them.  Until the end.  The rest was basically a hodge-podge of incredibly predictable “twists”, chemistry-less instalove, and a total inability to write people as people.  They made ridiculously stupid choices, experienced inexplicable emotional reactions, and in general just felt fake.  This should have been SO cool.  But it just made me want to write the opposite thing in order to prove a point.  (Also: it is set in OREGON.  Near Portland.  In our time, or at least a time where stereos are a thing.  I know that shady shit can happen anywhere and especially in small towns, but fuck.  Around 3 or more young boys from this town drown EVERY SUMMER, and not only is the town able to sustain itself but the FBI hasn’t gotten involved?  These all seem to be young white boys, in Oregon, just drowning.  Literally if this had been set in a made-up town in a made-up time, this would have been much more believable.)

The Merry Spinster by Mallory Ortzberg.  3/5.  A collection of short, spooky retellings of not only fairy tales, but classic children’s stories like “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  Overall, I’d recommend this book if you’re in the mood for something lyrical yet genuinely grim--but be warned, it can be a bit self-important sometimes.  A few of the creepier bits felt almost too self-aware; like, “this is scary because these are children’s characters acting really weird, oooh”.  Some of the stories I could have done without.  Standouts include “The Daughter Cells” (The Little Mermaid), “The Six Boy-Coffins” (The Six Swans, also the best story in the collection), “The Rabbit” (The Velveteen Rabbit) , and “Cast Your Bread Upon The Water” (Johnny Croy and His Mermaid Bride).  

The Radical Element ed. Jessica Spotswood.  2/5.  An anthology of short stories about young women who are “radical” in some what, from the nineteenth to twentieth century. Because really, for a historical fiction anthology, this is pretty limited in time periods and locations--it’s nineteenth and twentieth century America, barely stretching a century. Which is something I found irritating about the last anthology edited by Spotswood that I read (A Tyranny of Petticoats) but I liked that more because there were more stories for me to connect with.  Honestly, many of these read very young to me, so regardless of the writing quality I didn’t like most of them.  The only one that really stood out to me was Anna-Marie McLemore’s “Glamour”.  But this isn’t a bad anthology, in my opinion--I just think I’ve outgrown much of these stories.  

Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney.  2/5.  Amber is in a coma.  She can sense everything around her, hear everything people say, but can’t move her body, even to open her eyes.  She remembers nothing--only that her husband doesn’t love her anymore, and she believes that he had something to do with the “accident” that people refer to.  Alternating between Amber’s present in the coma, the days leading up to the accident, and a series of diary entries, the truth slowly unravels--or maybe.  Because sometimes Amber lies.  Basically, this had all of the plot elements it needed to have... But it moved at what felt like a glacial pace, and I couldn’t get into anything because the voices were dull.  Also: Amber has no control over her bodily functions while in a coma, and is sure to remind us of this every possible moment.  Furthermore, there is such a thing as too many twists, and to a degree, this book went there.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi.  3/5.  The land of Orisha was once full of magic--and Zelie’s mother was one of those who had it.  Until, that is, magic disappeared.  King Saran conducted a raid that killed all--or supposedly all--magic users, including Zelie’s mother.  Years later, Zelie and her brother Tzain embark on a quest to restore magic, aided by the runaway Princess Amari, and pursued by Amari’s brother Inan, who is determined to inherit his father’s ruthless legacy.  So...  This book.  I wanted so badly for it to be at least a four star read for me.  It’s been intensely hyped up, with the movie rights being sold ages ago.  Is it worth the hype?  For me, obviously not.  The hype oversold it.  Because Children of Blood and Bone is an enjoyable read with a ton of potential--but it’s also one of those books that was so clearly written by a debut author.  And I hate to say that, because I want to be a debut author someday; but there is a standard we need to hold ourselves and others to, and to me, this book needed some editing.  It was very overlong, with some parts dragging because I wanted to get back to the action.  The character beats sometimes felt rushed, comparatively--especially when it came to, you guessed it, the two central romances.  One of them was MADE FOR ME, but though I liked the pairing I wished that there had been more a realistic buildup.  The interesting thing about Children of Blood and Bone is that Adeyemi--who as I understand it is Nigerian-American, raised in America--based it off of West African culture.  As a white American, I obviously cannot speak to the authenticity of the usage of Yoruba, but I have seen a couple of Nigerian reviewers claim some issue with it, and that does make me wonder.  I do know that Adeyemi used, again, Yoruba in her book as well as several real place names.  This bugged me a bit.  Orisha is a fictional world--why refer to real African cities and a real language?  Obviously, most of the dialogue is in English, but Adeyemi could have referred to an imagined language as many fantasy novelists do.  To me, this all felt like... I don’t know, Jon Snow saying that he’d learned French from a tutor, or Gandalf saying that he was from Belfast.  It was a worldbuilding issue that knocked me out of the story.  For that matter, the fact that the catlike animals were referred to as “leonaires” (leopards), and so on... it seemed kind of weak.  There were a ton of very usual beats here--rebellious princess, young characters doomed from the first page, evil king who is evil because he is evil and had a dead love that is the sort of root of all of his problems...  It seems like I’m critiquing the fuck out of this book, but it had such a great idea and was so set up to be great that I don’t know.  I’m just disappointed, and it all could have been much better because the bones were there.  All that said, I’m probably going to read the second book because I was invested in the characters and do want to see what happens next.  But if the next book isn’t better, I probably won’t read beyond that.

In Search of Us by Ava Dellaira.  3/5.  Angie has never known her father; the biracial child of a white mother, she has never known the black side of her family, as her father apparently died before she was born along with his brother.  After discovering that her uncle is actually alive, Angie embarks on a trip to LA with her ex-boyfriend to seek the truth about her father.  In a parallel story, we see the journey of her mother, Marilyn, as a teenager being pushed by her mother to support them through a modeling career she doesn’t want.  After meeting James, Marilyn sees the opportunity for a new life--the question is how she’ll come to be the single mother of a daughter she keeps secrets from.  This book is really lovely and sweet in a lot of ways--the writing is quite pretty.  Marilyn’s story is, to be honest, much more compelling than Angie’s simply because she has a more dramatic arc.  Angie is essentially on a trip to uncover something you can probably guess fairly early on, and though her struggles are totally understandable, it is kind of difficult to watch her treat her very sweet ex like shit and kind of take advantage of his feelings.  Marilyn has this struggle of attempting to escape her mother’s impossible dreams, while engaging in genuinely sweet and sad romance.  The issue for me was that nobody quite as accessible as Marilyn, and while I appreciated the message the book was sending, it seemed a bit heavy-handed and abrupt towards the end.  Tacked on for points, to be frank.  Also, there was one sex scene that seemed... while not physically impossible, very unlikely.  But overall, if you want to read something sort of gentle and sad with good romance AND mother-daughter elements, I’d recommend it.

The Flight Attendant by Chris Bohjalian.  3/5.  Flight attendant Cassie is something of a train wreck, using her career to facilitate a habit of heavy partying and one night stands.  In Dubai, she has a one-nighter with a man named Alex, only to wake up to find him brutally murdered in the bed they shared.  Unable to remember the entirety of the previous night’s events and terrified of what will happen to her, Cassie sneaks out of the hotel room and finds herself embroiled in an international scandal.  The book follows not only Cassie’s perspective, but that of the mysterious Elena, who seems to be keeping tabs on Cassie.  This is definitely a gripping book, and I sped through it.  Honestly, much of the interest had to do with just how odd and intriguing a flight attendant’s life can be, and it was certainly a great profession for the main character of a thriller--Cassie was constantly jet-setting.  The issue was that she was also a total idiot, to the point that sometimes her stupidity felt less like a character trait and more like a plot device.  But I could have gotten over that.  What bumped this down from a 4 to a 3-star rating was the ending--the big twist wasn’t something I called, but it also wasn’t very thrilling.  You pretty much knew what was going on before the end.  And of course, everything was tied up in a very... borderline sexist way?  But it’s not the worst thriller I’ve read; I mean, it wasn’t even the worst one I read this month.

[helplesslyinlovewithcharacters]

Derek Hale Masterlist

New Beginnings

Derek surprises his wife with a life-changing gift on their anniversary.

Heart Monitor

When (y/n) is injured in a car accident, Derek blames himself and distances himself from her.

Breakfast

Derek can’t help but love how much smaller (y/n) is, even if it drives her insane.

His Girls  May I Have This Dance?

Derek is smitten with (y/n) and her daughter.

What Kind of Guy Am I?

Fuelled by her hatred of Derek, Allison makes (y/n) doubt her relationship with him and question whether they’re really meant for one another.

Cuddles and Chicken Soup

Derek gets a tad overprotective whenever (y/n) gets sick.

Sisters

(Y/n) hates introducing her sister to her boyfriends, it always ends the same way but maybe with Derek, it’ll be different.

Perfect

(Y/n) and Derek practice for their first dance.

Secrets

Hiding a relationship from your friends is hard, its even worse when they keep almost catching you.

Green-Eyed Alpha

The pack watch as Derek’s love for (y/n) transforms him.

Wildfire

Derek doesn’t know how to process discovering that (y/n) is his mate.

Falling in Love

Derek can’t stop himself from falling in love with his best friend.

Late Night Kisses

Derek’s pregnant wife frets over him when he comes home battered and bruised.

Tell Me It’s Real

When Derek’s thoughts torment him, (y/n) is always there to ground him.

Somebody To Love

Everybody needs someone to love, Derek eventually realises that someone is (y/n).

To The Sea

Derek was never meant to stay, but leaving is his biggest regret.

Time Heals All Wounds

“I’m still in love with you. I tried not to be, but it didn’t work”

A Million Love Songs Later

(Y/n) is convinced she’s going mad as songs narrate her interactions with Derek.

Baby, I’m a Fool

When you never give a relationship a chance, it’s destined to fail.

Third Times The Charm

(Y/n)’s new to the whole relationship thing, making her constantly on edge around Derek. 

Craving

“Because I shouldn’t need you. I’m meant to be an alpha but I can’t get through a day without you”

Patience

Derek helps (y/n) become comfortable with physical contact. 

Superman 

(Y/n) thinks Derek would make a great Superman. He disagrees.

Clark Kent

(Y/n) helps Derek feel more confident about his new glasses.

Save Myself

Derek decides to leave Beacon Hills before it kills him.

Meddling Kids

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids”

Look After You

After watching (y/n) take care of everyone else, Derek decided to take care of her.

Meeting the Parents

Derek knew it was going to be stressful, but he didn’t expect it to be quite so nervewracking.

Never Again

(Y/n) drags Derek to a club. Needless to say, he’s not happy.

Incomplete

Derek can’t define the love he feels for (y/n).

What About Us?

Faced with a future without Derek, (y/n) feels lost.

Photograph

(Y/n) surprises Derek with a photo album on his birthday.

A Flower For Every Occasion

Derek might have a crush on the florist. Might.

Tricky Love

(Y/n) is almost certain that she spends most of her working time tending to Derek’s wounds whenever he tries a new trick on his bike.

Museum Dates

Who knew the museum was such a great place to meet people?

Backup Plan

After experiencing car troubles in the middle of a storm, (y/n) convinces Derek to play with her in the rain.

Waiting Game

(Y/n) knew being in a relationship with a soldier would be hard, but she never anticipated the heartbreak it would bring.

Not Today

(Y/n) is the only one who can pull Derek out of his guilt fuelled haze.

Going to the Chapel

(Y/n) and Derek celebrate their wedding day.

Stress

Derek’s comfort is exactly what (y/n) needs when her work becomes too much.

Fate

Some people are made for each other and others are never meant to meet. 

Ice Kisses

“I can’t believe this is happening”

New Year’s Day

After a somewhat lively New Year’s Eve party, (y/n) helps Derek clean up the loft.

Be Mine

Sex is never just sex, (y/n) and Derek are starting to realise how dangerous it can be to combine it with friendship.

Better in Time

Derek thought moving away from Beacon Hills meant that he would let go of his past and the unresolved feelings he ignored but life doesn’t always go to plan. Sometimes in the best way possible.

Trapped

When Derek and (y/n) find themselves handcuffed together and trapped in a hunter hideout, they both know it can only end in disaster.

Tall, Dark and Handsome

(Y/n) may have developed a crush on one of the cafe regulars, not that she’s going to tell him that.

Part of the Family

Derek becomes (y/n)’s rock and now she can’t imagine a life without him.

Favourites

Derek knows that as a professor, he’s not meant to have a favourite student but he wasn’t given much choice in the matter when (y/n) stole his heart.

Fly Home  Epilogue

You’re never meant to meet your guardian angel but when Derek meets his, he knows his life will never be the same again, for better or worse.

War and Peace

Healing is a slow and painful process, one that (y/n) was never prepared to guide her estranged husband through. (Regency Au) (Arranged Marriage AU) 

Like Father, Like Son

Surrounded by his pack, Derek’s never been happier.

Compared to You

Lacking conventional communication skills, Derek channels his feelings for his best friend through his music.

Some Explaining To Do

A pack road trip leads to Derek and his best friend, who recently gained the title of ‘pack mum’, to share a bed. (‘The Classic’ and ‘Reluctant Bed Sharing’)

Sorry To My Unknown Lover

Blinded by his unrelenting love for Paige, Derek didn’t realise he was breaking his best friend by allowing her to believe they could have something more.

Good Enough

Derek finally snaps as he watches (y/n) get ready for her date with Jackson.

Anytime

Harbouring a crush on her neighbour probably wasn’t the best idea, though (y/n) can’t help but delight in the amusement and light Derek introduces into her life.

In the Darkness, I See You

After his relationship with Jennifer ends on less than friendly terms, Derek disappears from (y/n)’s life.

You’re the Reason

After Derek inadvertently spoke out of turn while drunk, he’s forced to tell the truth about his feelings towards his best friend.

No Way To Say Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never easy, but Derek never thought he would have to say it to (y/n). 

False Alarm

“You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar.”

Sensible Ideas Seldom Lead to Adventure

(Y/n) seldom had good ideas but straying from her group of fellow tourists in a regretfully foreign county had to be one of her worst. (Pre-WWII AU)

The Storm of a Soul  Unforgettable  The Aftermath

There was no escaping the storm once it pulled him in and drowned him in the depths of her eyes.

The Signs of a Lifetime

Its a summer of grief but Derek remains, with his sisters by his side and a best friend he would kill for.

False God

The oldest loves are the hardest to let go.

Honeymoon

Derek surprises (y/n) with their honeymoon destination.

Were-mermaid

Derek protects (y/n) from her fear of sea creatures.

Skinny Dipping

(Y/n)’s never been more grateful that Derek is dressed.

Beard

Derek relishes in (y/n)’s reaction to his beard. 

Lazy Sundays

There’s no better way to spend Sundays than being cuddled up with your boyfriend.

Anniversary

(Y/n) and Derek prepare for their anniversary dinner.

Love Songs

Derek is sick of love songs.

Hero

(Y/n) picks a couples’ costume Derek wasn’t expecting. 

I’ve Got You

After a fight with an omega separates (y/n) from Derek, he can’t hide his relief when he finds her again.

New Love

Derek lets himself enjoy the prospect of finding a new love.

Atrocious

To say (y/n) and Derek dislike one another would be an understatement, at least until now anyway. 

Haircut

(Y/n)’s more than a little surprised when Derek comments on her new haircut. 

The Interactions Between an Alpha and His Mate, As Recorded By Stiles Stilinski

Stiles delights in narrating Derek’s interactions with (y/n) and thus, ruins the moment. Continuously.

Baby Fever, As Recorded by Stiles Stilinski

Old habits die hard and Stiles can’t resist teasing Derek about his wife’s baby fever.

To Love Her

Derek was on the verge of losing his mind but he had to say goodbye, even if it killed him.

Home

Derek comes home after a week of dealing with a new supernatural creature to the sanctity that his wife provides.

All Is Forgiven

After a fight, Derek is more than happy to be reunited with his wife.

Family

A relaxed summer afternoon with the pack reaffirms Derek’s belief that he’s finally found a family.

Faded Glory

For one final time, Derek goes home. 

11 Blocks to Cornelia Street

‘That’s the kinda heartbreak time could never mend. I’d never walk Cornelia Street again’

Not Alone

Derek went to university in the hopes of escaping his past. Falling in love with (y/n) wasn’t part of the plan.

The Boy Next Door

(Y/n) moves to New York with her daughter, Amelia, for a fresh start. She quickly befriends her neighbour, Derek, until their relationship gradually develops into something more.

Just Friends

(Y/n) ropes Derek into pretending to be her boyfriend for a weekend but their repressed feelings for one another start to come to the surface, leading to a combination of both awkward and adorable situations.

Wait in Line

(Y/n) has been Derek’s best friend for as long as he can remember and he can’t help being hopelessly in love with her. But then he loses his family to the fire and has to leave before he can tell her and now he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see her again.

Perseverance (Ongoing Series)

When (y/n) was sent to Beacon Hills to marry Prince Derek, she didn’t expect things to be easy, but she also didn’t expect them to be so hard.

12 Days of Christmas

Christmas Masterlist 2018

Rejected Mates

After too many heartbreaks, (y/n) doesn’t believe Derek when he tells her they’re mates.

Friends Won’t Love Me Like You Do

Lydia’s somewhat unreliable car, lovingly known as Betty, has a habit of bringing (y/n) and Derek together, allowing a budding friendship to develop as the war looms ever closer. (1940s AU)

If You Ever Want To Be In Love

After six years, (y/n) is back in Beacon Hills looking after her nephews while her brother heals after a near-fatal accident, she never expected to see Derek Hale again but he might be the only thing that keeps her going.

Neighbours

(Y/n) has a habit of making Derek late for work in situations that both confuse and amuse him in equal measures while never failing to make him fall a little bit more in love with her. 

Keep It Down

When (y/n) moves to Beacon Hills, the predominantly supernatural area of New York, she becomes the subject of her neighbour’s interest as Derek and Stiles endeavour to discover what kind of supernatural being she is.