#its also been in my drafts for days rip sorry i know i got tagged eons ago

[eldrith]

HIYAA! It’s me, the new tumblr acc person who asked u abt the text thing on ur own intro post, and i was wanting to ask for some tips on writing?

Ok so hold on let me compliment u first cuz u are actually so amazing!!! i’ve been following ur stuff for a while now (not rlly, since like summer 24 but shh) and honestly ur writing is so stunning and beaand breathtaking and legit made me pull up the dictionary like every two seconds (mostly cuz eng isnt my first language), like if shakespear himself was reborn to this time and age i’m convived he was born as u, cuz ur talent is INSANE?? like AAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway now that i got that out of my system (not rlly, i could write an entire essay on how beautiful and amazing ur writing is) i was hoping to ask for tips on writing? like general stuff yk? also i heard that its good to have a few drafts ready for when u start posting so it wont take long to get content out?

ughh srry for the ramble im stressing😭 also i kinda giggled when u said my blog will def be cute cuz the aesthetic it has rn………. 😀 its far from cute lol😭 i still think its pretty :3

hi cutie! sorry it took me a moment to answer this i've been so busy!!

first of STOP IT bc youre so sweet (& if you've been following me since summer '24 then you've been here the whole time bc i made this account in july!!! <3) the dictionary part ahahaha i get it!!! you're so kind to say such things i appreciate you & im so happy you like my writing!!

dw about rambling i literally don’t stop taking ever. & i believe you that ur blog is SO cute!!!!

i would be happy to share some tips ! i obviously am not the best source bc im not a professional writer and to each their own – but here's a (very long im sorry) list of what i recommend:

in terms of tumblr,

having a 'backlog' of fics in your arsenal is a great thing. i think even a plethora of diferent wips can be a great thing too (there's 11 unfinished wips in my folder rn that may not see the light of day), even if you're a slow writer (like me). that being said, it doesn't have to be that way — sometimes i post things right after finishing them just bc i want to share it!!!

along that vein, i know a lot of my moots here have schedules or structuring to posts. alerting their followers or posting teasers before (i do like to do this often), or scheduling fics to be posted on a certain day/time. i think this is wonderful; though i haven't been able to keep myself to such a routine, and literally just let things rip whenever.

time zone reblogging is a good way to ensure any readers around da globe see your fic! you can figure out some of the main time zones and schedule reblogs of your fics for those times. i sometimes do this too!

create your post draft w/ title/headers/warnings & tags etc beforehand bc it is SUCH a drag to do when you’re about to post a fic!!!

again, people are for the most part very kind here; don't feel like you have to be churning out fics just to keep people's attention. your writing will be wonderful & they will (they WILL. or else i will Get Them) be grateful that you chose to share it!!

in terms of general writing, i actually have so many thoughts on writing and preferences, but i dont want to be insane on main so here's just a few things off the dome—

love your story!! i think people's best works are when they become deeply invested with their own plot/characters. it's why i chose to leave certain characters, because i was no longer loving/enjoying my stories.

withhold information from your readers. i am a huge believer in the theory of omission. this seems to be a bit controversial on here; but i personally am in support of Hemingway's iceberg theory. overwhelming readers with information is boring. let them use their imagination to keep them & yourself from getting burnt out, & allow them to see what they'd like to within those gaps.

write first & edit later. this is something that took me a while to get into the habit of bc i always feel the need to fix things immediately. but it helps the writing process to get out your thoughts and structure first, then fine-comb it after. it saves energy & time!!!

especially in longer fics, avoid logical fallacy — ie., arguments that do not have adequate support. if your characters are fighting and it is for a reason that is not believable (same with a larger scale, like war), then it isn't as realistic nor entertaining to read!!! (i could elaborate but i could write so much on all of this HAH)

USE THE FIVE SENSES. all of them. they are your friend for creating imagery and i use them all the time. this also helps to avoid white room syndrome.

speaking of imagery: make use of both literal and figurative.

literal — obvious & realistic description of anything. ex; describing how black the wings of a raven are. simple& makes a huge difference in world building. figurative — my favorite; words and descriptions that imply certain ideas & need to be interpreted. describing how shadows slither around corners; implying distrust or paranoia, thoughts of serpents, etc. (this is where you have to have faith in your readers — perhaps i put too much faith in them sometimes lmao.)

my favorite way to ensure a cohesive work is to always anchor a motif. i always write with a clear recurring element in my works (could be some device, reference of some sort, words/verbal formula) which appears habitually. in every piece ive written there is at least one motif & usually more (i could cite examples but im not going to rn). it’s my favorite way of conveying emotion & importance. it help sets mood — and ties your whole fic together.

George Orwell has written a lot about never using the passive where you can use the active... this is obviously a preference; i have read countless astounding fics here that write in the passive, but i personally find myself more engaged in active tense. you’re IN the story, not being told of it.

DO NOT USE AI BOTS TO HELP GENERATE YOUR WRITING. ai is incredibly harmful to art; i understand folks who have english not as their native language attempt to use bots to 'polish' their writing, although it is so incredibly obvious when it is used — because computers use patterns. AI CANNOT CREATE, it can only replicate. it can only steal. they use repetitive words, phrases, and structures; all chat GPT fics read, in one way or another, the same; and have a non-human touch which is ingenuine. writers are beautiful and unique because they are different, because we all have a different relationship with english and writing. i often wonder if my translations come out incorrectly because my mother tongue is not english (however i've spoken it basically all my life, so i acknowledge it is different); though i think the charm in authors is their choice in expression. i hope people are confident with themselves, no matter their perceived skill level. i hope they know a robot will take away their intrinsic skill and natural talent. i hope they know it is incredibly obvious when chat bots are used to generate writing. and i see it in this fandom all the fucking time.

writers on writing; ie., some sources that help me:

ray bradbury on: I’ve kept everything I’ve ever cared about since childhood.' or: why personal experience is integral to writing fiction. (1963)

anaïs nin on how the excess of emotion is essential to writing.

ten rules of writing by nietzsche.

vonnegut/kafka: uncertainty is the crucible of creativity. or: the shapes of stories.

writing morally grey characters (character depth)

donna tartt on the writing process: an interview (must watch!!! shes my god)

okay i am DONE yapping. i hope some of this helps & if u have any comments or questions or anything im happy to hear what u think!!

[monstrouslyobsessed]

been a minute since i've answered yall asks, sorry about that. been having health issues again. sighs.

tw / tags: monster fucking, snake anatomy, breeding mentions

Do you have any thoughts about slime-like monsters? I personally find monsters with… unstable??? body structure quite interesting cuz of their potential lol. Like, even of they're slow and trembling like jittery jelly, once they have grip on you – you gone, whoops. Struggling r useless, u will only get urself deeper and you can't even do a lot to escape. And bonus points if they're kinda dumb, so by acting silly and goofy they're practically gaslighting lmao —anonymous

i actually have a musing in the work about that one!! its...been in my draft forever...whoops....i'll work on that in just a bit then.

but yes!! theyre also super versatile too! imagine if you have one as a pet...its going to make a pet out of you, oho rip darling.

I wonder how the 6 arms snake god eat. Does he just shallow his prey whole? chew them? Tear them apart then eat them piece by piece? I wonder what is his favorite part of his prey, and his less favorite. I imagine that some times, he eat messy, so reader clean the blood around his mouth with a clean napkin. —anonymous

i actually kinda imagine him opening his mouth like a snake would since he's no longer a human (w a pic below). but in the beginning, when he's still merging with the snake god, he'd probably start tearing his, ah, meals apart, yeah. i actually don't think his transformation was actually completed by the time he started his initial rampage + he wouldn't have any arm when he first started out too.

oh geez i can see him being super clumsy and floppy trying to learn how to move his new body. poor thing.

his mouth would be like this, maybe with bigger fangs tho. that said, i cant find the original source now :( so if any of you know who this may be by, lmk so i can link the artist!!

Hey-hey! Have you read Mieruko-chan by any chance? Maybe it's only me, but i find designs for ghosts from here rlly cool and some chapters can give some pretty cool concepts/ideas.

Gl on ur day! ✨ —anonymous

i actually have been keeping up with it! poor mc, she's trying her best...I'm crushing on the yandere tentacled head lady atm lol

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It's time to spread positivity! 💖 — @berrychan03

dawwww <3 thank you!!! i'll be sure to spread them around~!

Your Jaguar Trube story is really good! I like it. Are you going to make the part 2 for it? —anonymous

im actually kinda stumped on how to continue this one mainly because of the breeding kink being the primary focus and the reader initially being gn. i feel iffy doing this to my fellow gn readers as well, as i don't wish to exclude them and i don't think im that good of a writer to pull off a gn smut.

i could just do two versions tbh because its a little different between if the reader is afab and if they're amab.

if afab, theyre actually kinda in for some bad time because there's so many males around, possibly around 30 to even 50, and there's a lot of dp to go around because they're sharing them.

if amab, there's not many females around at all, maybe around 4 young adult ones (with the rest being old ladies), though that's not to say the males wouldn't touch them because they def would though lol but i kinda imagined that being amab they wouldn't be in too high of demand and would be given breaks. plus, they don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

i'll take feedback regarding this matter though, so lmk your thoughts on how i should proceed!

anyhoo, gonna try and work on couple overdue commissions i got, but in the meanwhile, feel free to send in whatever (that is currently open lol) love ya bunches!

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[mithrilbookofmystery]

📓 👁👁

OK SO *slams down 30k words of draft* I know the original ask post said to talk about a fic I haven't written but haunts me, but believe me, this is fic is not written. We're like not even a quarter of the way through, most of this doc is notes, this fic have been haunting me since last june or so send help

So anyways. This is "the fic I'll never write" which I do have a tag about as you might have noticed, it's one of the very few things I have a tag for on here that's how much it's haunting me. I'm never going to publish this fic also, tho that's mainly bc A) it's way too fucking long B) the fandom and ship are both obscure as hell and C) its also embarrassing 😣 cringe is dead except when it's me and my fanned fictions. That being said, I'm calling the two guys A and B for simplicity's sake.

A and B hate each other's guts. They were friends once, but had a very big falling out with hurt feelings and bad miscommunications all around and basically they vowed to never talk to each other again. And then one day A wakes up and realizes that 1) his house got moved into while he was asleep(he is very ??? over this given that he was in the middle of moving in the day before; his house was basically empty 8 hours ago and now it is Not) and 2) B is coming over for lunch to pick up his stuff(????? This is even MORE confusing bc A is getting the vibe all of a sudden that they were in a relationship together? Which doesn't make sense bc he's not gay. Wait. Is he gay? What the fuck is going on???)

B comes over and they have a very stilted lunch (where it seems like B feels like something is off, too, but hes not saying anything...), B takes his stuff and leaves, and A spends the rest of the week alone in this house that he has both lived in for years and also Has Not and very confused about this new life he suddenly has.

And then A wakes up in a castle as the trusted advisor to the king in a medieval fantasy world and he is EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN BEFORE!

Also the King is B. Great.

A spends a lot longer here than in the last universe (like 3/4 of a year), long enough for a magical war to come and pass, some character development shit to happen, and also for the King (who, again, is B) to fall in battle (and it's the one they win the war in too, RIP) and go into a Magical Nightmare Coma (bc they were warring with magical nightmare beasts). This is Bad, for a variety of reasons.

Now A is conflicted abt this bc B is his friend, bit also very much not, but that doesn't mean he wants him to die, but also the A of this universe, the advisor, is starting to get the idea to kill the king to get the throne... His death would be easy to explain away, given the circumstances...

A, instead, goes to find magicians to break the curse. This is the first good thing hes done all fic lmao

B wakes up, the kingdom throws a party, and that night, B tells A about how Something Strange has happened to him - he's not from here. From this world. He's from somewhere else, somewhere Different and in the Future but with no magic and he doesn't know how he got here or got to be possessing the king's body but he's been here for past like 3/4 of the year now and hes sorry for acting strangely if he has but he doesn't really know what to do-

A tells B that he's in the same boat, because he is. B realizes that this A is his A and he hates his A. So. B says some things he'll probably regret later bc being mean is the best defense he's learned against A's general air of uncaring-ness for the effects of his /j "jokes" (they're not jokes, half the time they're just mean, but anyways), and storms off.

The next day, A wakes up in a submarine. He thinks he is going to scream.

They go through....,,., a lot of universes. I think it's over 25 rn but idk. Some are shorter than others, the longest is like a year and a half but we'll get to that. The general arcs are:

1. The beginning bit (Just Broke Up, King/Advisor, Deep Sea Biologists (that ones just an excuse to stick them in a small space for a while to duke it out lmao), Astronauts (kinda same premise as last one but there's a third party now), Musicians, Wild West, Minecraft, Wizards, Desert Island (to quote the notes there, "they duke it out but calmer now"), semi-back in their home universe but something's Off, Superhero(B)/Supervillain(A))

In this part they start off hating each other, but slowly warm up to each other again by the Wizard universe (they're wizards there <3). They recognize that they're each other's only constant in this mess, so in the Desert Island 'verse, they agree to try and find each other right away in each new universe they wake up in (instead of messing around for a while before accidentally stumbling into each other like they'd done before). They debate about the versions of themselves they're possessing, with A very adamant about not changing each universe's lives too much, while B is willing to throw that out the window if keeping the status quo endangers each other. He's starting to like A as a friend again and doesn't want to have to tiptoe around him to compensate for this other life that was thrust upon him, sue him. This comes to a head at the end of the superhero verse when A foils his own plan to save B's life, revealing his own identity to the press in the process - VERY much changing the status quo of this A's life. B is very very confused and conflicted abt this but we don't know how A feels bc its B's POV this chapter.

Also it's worth noting that B still gets nightmares from getting attacked by a nightmare beast monster thing, and he will continue having them for the rest of the fic. They get a heck of a lot worse in the next one <3 and he doesn't tell A abt them until like 3 years into this bullshit

Also also they are so homesick already god bless

2. The Death Universes (the death universes) (this is the year and a half one btw)

They wake up in separate universes where the other is dead bc I love inflicting characters with hardships and problems and trauma <3

They get therapy in these ones too which helps them to like accept blame and shit when it comes to their old argument but also not blame themselves completely and break and also hold each other accountable more and in healthier ways

3. Post-Death bits AKA the rest of the fic p much (its like over half the fic I'm not listing all these out)

Points of interest:

- they reunite and are so so happy about it that they become codependent

- they go to a BOTW AU and B is Link and has amnesia but not just the B from the BOTW universe has it, the original B has it also and he. He fucking going through it man

- bc of the whole amnesia thing B starts thinking of himself where he's not really the B of whichever universe but hes also not really the original B either (tho that's always usually the one more in control each time); the two have kind of merged together, and each new universe creates a new version of B

- he goes with that for a while until it gives him an existential crisis and OG B starts maintaining his independence again

- anyways then they get more codependent <3 fruity edition

- they start to realize they're getting codependent and go :/ uh oh oopsie poopsie

- why did I say that I'm sorry

- anyways they try to homebrew some therapy for themselves but given their situation it's not exactly.. uh.... But tbh it's the best they got right now ngl. it works well enough

- it helps that the universe right after they agree to Spend Some Time Apart™️ they wind up in one where they physically cannot meet each other until they get to the end of it and have to make new friends along the way (Dead Gods AU my beloved....... <3)

- they get to a universe where they're Dads and Gay and Married and go 😳

- they only get fruitier from here

And then it vaguely ends around there. I don't really want to ever write an ending for it, if only bc it feels cheap to end it before they get home but also writing them going home feels wrong, but also, again, I'm never publishing this so I'm not too pressed about it

Saying that, I do want to share some bits from the scenes I have actually written that I'm proud of :3 A is red and B is blue. Sometimes the versions of themselves from a universe will have a different name and I do differentiate between the two; when that happens, the alternate universe versions will have a lighter color than OG A or B. Some of them aren't the same size so you'll have to tap the pics to read all of it

Their fight in the first universe, where they don't really know what's going on but they do know they have just recently broken up and are still very hurt abt that

P much the only scene written for the Superhero AU bit, mainly bc I know I cannot top this

There's a bit of a jump in their conversation between these two, but I hope it still makes sense. Mid-part 3, around the time when B's having his existential crisis and right when they start being fruity. (Pastel/Punk AU also High School AU but it's like the weird teen movie version of high school - they're a little weirded out by it lol)

And ofc Dead Gods AU my beloved <3

Also I made a playlist. They're not really in any particular order story-wise, and some remind me of the story more than others, but yeah :)

When I tell you this story fuckgin HAUNTS me bro......

[maggielindemanns]

tag nine people to learn about their interests!

TAGGING: @ijzerengels @calumthoodshands @redrattlers @thenervousduck @arzkiya-hai @kritiquer @lesbianearn @sondergf @embeddedinmybrain @vexedtonightmares @tsjernobyl @bandsanitizer @tarcyjonsson and anyone else that wants to! idk who did this or not, sorry if you already did it but you may of course ignore me.

aaaa also thank you @ottelu for the tag! love u bestie <3

MUSIC

fave genre: r&b and pop, for sure

fave artist: ariana grande, halsey, savannah ré, normani, alina baraz, kiana ledé, chloe moriondo, troye sivan, the neighbourhood, bastille, 5SOS (& luke hemmings solo !!!!!! my baby) — basically i love music, we been knew, i have so many faves i can’t pick one

fave song: rn it’s for sure ur best friend by kiana ledé ft kehlani or girl on tv by chloe moriondo

most listened to song lately: according to last.fm, it’s wild side by normani agskdhsk i do wish she released it without cardi tho i’ll die on this hill idc its fine i just skip her part

song currently stuck in your head: you right by doja cat actually and ur best friend i couldn’t stop singing those two at work

five fave lyrics (in no particular order, there’s too many i love omg)

“i know i’ll never meet your expectations / but the picture that you paint of me looks better in your mind” — high, 5SOS

“you don’t believe in one divine / but can you tell me you believe in mine? / ‘cause you’ve been my god, my god / and when you’re gone i’m godless, i’m godless” — godless, banks

“you’re the only one, you’re the only one / i’m so wrapped up in a daze / hoping this is just a phase / but when all is said and done / i know you are still the one” — the only one, the black keys

“i get lost inside all the stars in your eyes, it’s a galaxy / you control the tide like the moon in the sky, you’re the gravity” — more than enough, alina baraz

“standing there, you look at me / understanding everything / yeah, it’s so fascinating / you patch up the blood and the cuts / but our blood got mixed up / so i guess we belong to each other” — love song, yungblud

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume | slow or fast songs | music video or lyric video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fave book genre: idk i prefer like YA novels and romance i guess but idc really, i just don’t like fantasy stuff like harry potter or . historical fiction?? i guess you could call it?? (tried to read pride and prejudice for leisure ……….. boring as fuck like holy shit) or science fiction like boring boring boring idc no offense to anyone that loves it of course

fave writer: don’t have one really

fave book: aaaaaa i don’t have one of these either !! the one that always comes to mind though is giovanni’s room, but i just love that book, it was brilliant

fave series: mmmm i don’t really like series but caro’s got me into reading trc so i guess that’ll be my fave series once i’m done!

comfort book: rwrb <3

fave book to read on a rainy day: giovanni’s room sgsjdhsj i literally reread it bc it has some of my fave lines ever

fave characters: adam parrish, blue sargent, ronan lynch, gansey but he on thin ice, ari and dante, aiden navarro, alex claremont-diaz, charlie and nick (actually . everyone in heartstopper except the characters that are a plague <3), and more that i cannot think of most likely

five fave book quotes: (again no particular order i love so many)

“My dear fellow, you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite.” || “The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.” — the picture of dorian gray, oscar wilde

“topography on the map of you, a world i’m still charting.” — red, white, and royal blue, casey mcquiston

“It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody.” || “I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again.” || “And here my baby came indeed, through all that sunlight, his face flushed and his hair flying, his eyes, unbelievably, like morning stars.” || “And there’s something awful about being at the mercy of a stranger.” — giovanni’s room, james baldwin (ik i cheated so bad w this SHUSH)

“And then I think we all realized what fools we’d been. We might get out sometime, but she was locked up forever in that body.” — girl, interrupted, susanna kaysen

“You and I, we don’t walk the lines. We just follow the echoes.” || “My mother used to say, ‘Don’t throw compliments away, so long as they’re free.’” His face was very earnest. “That one wasn’t meant to cost you anything, Blue.” — the raven boys, maggie stiefvater

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | read at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by summaries | rereading or reading just once

TV & MOVIES

fave tv/movie genres: coming of age, romance (ehhh to some degree), i like indie movies, idk same as books i dont like science fiction, historical stuff, or fantasy im boring okay

fave movie: dont have one tbh

comfort movie: speech and debate or easy a

movie you watch every year: dont have one

fave tv show: dear white people or skam + remakes, i like other ones tho like stranger things

comfort show: skamverse <3 not exactly an answer but mhm

most rewatched tv show: skamverse or dear white people OR THE FOSTERS …. dude …….. i used to watch that all day every day then they took it off netflix …. now it’s dance moms i play for background noise and watch on occasion

five favorite characters: lionel higgins, joelle brooks, olive penderghast, lucas lallemant, eleonora sava, fallon carrington, howie (speech and debate), connor walsh, annalise keating, wes gibbins, archie coleman, ellie chu, beth harmon, lara jean covey (yes here i am overlisting again i’m so sorry)

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging (well …. i don’t binge actually i have a horrible attention span) | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

[sio-writes]

Word Game!

I was tagged by @menagerie-of-monsters and my words were: steam, night, gray, and smart

I tag @vaya-writes, @kamaria-sweet-writes, and @kinomiakai with the words string, color, bath, and fright :>

This got a little lengthy, so I’m throwing it under a cut!

Steam: I dug into my early drafts of Botanist’s Guide and found this Kri perspective hiding in the back. Context: Cassie is very drunk and threw up earlier in the scene, so she’s in the shower while Kri babysits.

Night - This is an old oneshot I lost the passion for halfway through, so it’s been collecting dust in my WIP folder, lol

“Some day, huh?” Her nervous laugh echoes off the tile.

Please, stars above, strike me down so I don’t have to endure this torture.

“I suppose,” I say, teeth clamping down on my lower lip. My whole body is on fire. With Cassie speaking to me, every inappropriate image I had banished a moment ago returns in full force.

“I’d really appreciate you not, uh, telling anyone about this,” she says, and I hear her open a bottle. The bathroom is flooded with the scent of artificial lavender, and I am heavily debating ripping off my legs so they do not betray me by walking right into that smell.

“Why,” I try to sound conversational and wind up sounding angry. “Would I ever do that?”

She pauses. “I dunno, to embarrass me?”

I am doing just fine embarrassing myself right now, thank you.

“I do not need to do that,” is all I can manage.

Either in blessing or curse, Cassie does not respond. She opens another bottle, and a third after that, overwhelming my scent receptors. It's all lavender. I am reminded of the scent of her hair, the notes of soap on her skin, this must be the source.

Slowly, quietly, I take a deep inhale, wanting to sink into the scent, but the soap mingles with the steam and my brain unhelpfully provides me with the image of Cassie drenched head to toe. She's lathering her body with soap and I am behind her, pressing my face into her soaked brown curls and taking another long, slow inhale.

This is not helping. You are doing the opposite of helping, Khri'asxu.

Think, you lovesick idiot, so you can prepare for what’s next. She’s going to shut off the water, and humans dry themselves with terrycloth that she hung on that rod by the shower. I can keep my eyes closed for that as well, and I can take deeper breaths once the scent of her soap is gone. She will likely change into the clothes she set out earlier, and then—

The water shuts off.

“Kri?” Her voice sounds small and unsure, and I want to hold her.

I can only make out a small note of question. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry for all this, you deserve better.”

I frown. Always out of left field, with her. “I’m unsure what you mean.”

“A better friend, a better coworker, one who doesn’t throw up on you.”

My dearest cousin,

I write you this letter wishing you well, but also in haste and desperation. Over the past few weeks it has come to my attention that an otherworldly presence has made its home in, well, my home. The doors have been slamming in their frames, glassware rattles and falls from the cabinets, ghostly laughter echoes down the halls, and there is a horrid draft persistent throughout the whole manor. At first I believed the spirit to be my late husband, Edgar, but recent events have shifted my position.

I have narrowly escaped multiple instances of bodily injury of broken windows and falling portraits, each case more severe than the last, by quick wit and excellent timing. But I know my luck will run out eventually. I fear this presence, whatever it is, wishes me dead or at the very least out of its way. 

I'd hoped that given your…proclivities towards the macabre and demonic, that you may exorcize this demon back to the bowels of Hell. I've set up all the necessary precautions, crucifixes and sage and the like. I've also sent all but the essential waitstaff away for the month, and provided you with an allowance so you may purchase whatever materials you require.

You cannot begin to imagine my thanks for undertaking this project. I will sleep much better at night knowing the manor rests in your care.

Your cousin,

    Maude

The carriage drops you off in front of Becker Estate, a gorgeous two-story mansion at the top of a hill. The manor is red brick and timber, surrounded on all sides by thick, lush forest, the only estate for miles around. Your cousin has been Lady of the House for little more than a year, marrying into the Becker family at the age of twenty-four. She's a flighty sort of woman, prone to fainting spells and nervous fits, so you nearly wrote off her letter entirely, attributing it to grief and her anxieties over living alone in such a large estate. 

But something felt off. Maude was prone to hysteria, but she wouldn't write to you if she felt these occurrences were a simple trick of the mind. She wouldn't give you a month's allowance to do whatever you wished if this were a simple hindrance. So you decided it worth your time to at least visit the estate.

Gray - This is a touch of writing I did for my DND character. In the campaign she picked of a Belt of Dwarvenkind that acts as armor, but also gives the wearer a full beard. The beard makes her think of her late husband, who died when they were relatively young.

"I imagine you'd get quite the kick out of this. Probably even steal the belt from me so you wouldn't have to comb out your beard every morning."

Phyra opens her eyes and looks up at her reflection again. She's still not used to the gray hair, the new wrinkles. Smile lines and crow's feet, forehead lines and sagging skin. It all happened so fast, she hadn't been thinking. She wouldn't take it back, not in a thousand years, but she wished the spell had taken something else of hers. Running a hand over her wizened face, she bites back tears. "We were supposed to do this together."

Smart - I had to dig for a good quote that I hadn’t published already. This bit of Naruto fic has been sitting in my drive for years:

“Didn’t you cheat off me in Iruka’s class for that spelling test and we failed?”

“You failed,” Gaara corrected, lifting his chin. “You just dragged me down with you. It was a learning experience for both of us. I learned I need to pick someone smarter to cheat off of. You learned not to be a dumbass.”

[kippykasey]

Grace - Chapter 5: Hydra

Pairing: Howard Stark x F!Reader , Bucky x Reader [Eventually]

Word Count: 3522

Series Summary: A young nurse is recruited by Dr. Abraham Erskine to join the SSR to assist on Project Rebirth. Following her work with the SSR she is drafted into the US Army Nurse Corps in the war against the Nazis...and HYDRA.

Chapter Warnings: violence, torture, bad things because Hydra

Author's Note: Surprise?! I wasn't even expecting to get this done but I literally just finished and thought, eh why not. So here it is! Also I hate hurting my characters so this was a bit eh to write but I hope all is well!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs they are either found on google or under the gif tag provided by tumblr. Any language other than English was translated using Google Translator, and translations will be posted in bolden italics after. I am not a nurse or in the medical field although I may do some research medical treatment written may not be correct.

Grace Masterlist | Snowdrop Masterlist | Masterlist

Pain. A throbbing, harsh pain echoed through my head from the temple. The throbbing beat opposite that of my heart. The second thing I noticed was how cold and damp it was. After battling with my body to force open my eyes I squint through the dimly lit room. A deep voice spoke in another language… German it was German but my head hurt too much for me to understand it. Seconds passed before I realized that I was sitting on the ground in a cell. The door opened and two men walked in flanked by four additional soldiers than the one that had been watching me.

“Ah Fräulein (L/n) glad you have finally woken up.” Miss.

“Who are you?” I cursed how weak my voice sounded at that moment. Though the man didn’t seem to find me a threat of escape as he spoke. “Johann Schmidt. You see we have a common acquaintance… or, well, had.” The grin he wore made my stomach drop and he didn’t need to verbally admit it for me to realize this is the man behind Abraham’s death.

I raised my head in defiance and although it made the pounding in my head worsen I pushed myself from the ground and stood within the cell. “You’re after the serum.”

“Ah, clever girl. You were Abraham’s assistant when he made the serum.” The second, much shorter man spoke. “Fault in your plans. I don’t know how to make the serum.” Schmidt smiled at me and it took all my self control not to shiver from his intense look. “I was hoping you would say that,” His eyes turned off me to the soldiers. “Bring sie zum Stuhl. Probiere es an ihr aus. Vielleicht wird ein kleiner Elektroschock Ihr Gedächtnis auffrischen.” Take her to the chair. Try it out on her. Perhaps a bit of electroshock will refresh your memory. As Schmidt talked his head also turned towards the shorter man.

I could feel the blood drain from my face as I moved back against the wall. Three soldiers stepped towards the cell. One man opened the cell door before the other two stepped inside to detain me. I managed to elbow one in the face in my struggle but it was useless. The two soldiers dragged me from the cell, out of the room into a brighter lit hall. We were in some kind of warehouse. My eyes zeroed in on a chair that looked right out of a nightmare. Stronger hands forced me into the hard chair and held me down while I was struggling against someone’s attempts to strap me in. My struggling did nothing but get me a slap to the face. The strength of the slap disoriented me long enough for them to strap me in.

The shorter man who followed us now stood next to my head. I could see the reflection of myself in his glasses. “This is only going to hurt a lot, try to hold still.” He instructs lowering two plates down around my face. It was only a few short moments before the electricity forced its way into my head. I had no control over my body as it thrashed in the confines of the chair. An agonizing scream of pain carrying throughout the building went ignored.

That wasn’t my first time in the chair but it was the only time I had passed out in the chair. Spent 30 minutes in the chair 3 times a day, sometimes longer. After a week I had to start muttering things to myself in my cell so I didn’t forget who I was. The Nazi soldiers gave me the bare minimum to survive as far as water and nutrients goes. I cracked halfway through October. I gave the short scientist, Armin Zola, the list of what I would need before I was taken back to my cell after yet another time in the cell. I was given parchment and a pencil to write things down with but it kept coming in flashes.

Nights were the worst. Mouth dry from lack of water, eyes trained on an iron grate in the ceiling. I realized two weeks into my daily chair visits that I had forgotten my brother’s name. When I noticed it caused me to cry to sleep that night. So whenever I could I would mutter to myself facts I could remember starting with my name, rank, and where I was from. The list of facts got shorter every day. Somedays I remembered more than others. There were times all I could bring myself to do was hum Amazing Grace to myself to deal with the pain.

The first time I was in the lab I tried to escape. I was left with just one guard and I thought I could take him. I smashed a beaker using a shard like a knife. I ended up knocked unconscious, my hand bleeding from the self inflicted cuts caused by the makeshift weapon. From then on I was chained to the lab table and three soldiers kept watch. I wasn’t given anything to test the serum on. So I never tested unless I thought it would work because I used myself as a test subject.

I was unconscious for two days once from a failed serum. Others cause excruciating pain. Days came and went and I lost count of days but I knew it was still October. Yet a month was close to passing as November began to be discussed amongst soldiers around me. Pressure was placed on me to recreate the serum. Each day if I didn’t recreate the serum I was sent to the chair for the torturous electroshock. That is how I figured out I had been successful in a recreation. The serum, when tested, did nothing but make me drop to the lab floor in pain. I wasn’t even given time to recollect myself before being dragged off to the chair. I lasted longer in the chair than usual. I heard the instruction to increase the power. I don’t remember what happened after that.

It took me nearly half a day to recover, then as soon as I had I was back working in the lab. Suddenly I was pulled away from my work and escorted quickly back to my cell. “Neue Soldaten wurden gefangen genommen.” New soldiers have been captured. I pressed myself up against the bars for a chance, a glimpse at the soldiers being brought in.

It was silent as the Nazi Hydra soldiers dealt with the new poisoners. Suddenly two soldiers appeared with smiles on their faces. “Komm Mädchen. Zola und Schmidt wollen dich sehen.” Come girl. Zola and Schmidt want to see you. The soldiers yanked me up and practically dragged me to the room where the chair was. My body trembled involuntarily at the sight of the chair. It wasn’t me going in the chair, given someone was strapped in but given the uniform he was American. “Ah, here iz our lovely nurse. You’ve been asking for a test subject. Here you go.” Schmidt waved at the man strapped into the chair. The man lifted his head just barely and my heart went out to him. As soon as the hands left my arms I moved to the soldier in the chair. “What’s your name, soldier?”

“S’rg’nt Jam’s Barn’s,” His voice wasn’t clear but it was clear enough for me to understand what he said. The nurse turned to Zola and Schmidt. “I wasn’t done recreating the serum when you had me pulled from the lab. I will need time to work and he needs time to rest or the serum will kill him.” I tried to give him whatever comfort I could in those brief moments before we were pulled apart. His head rose just slightly and I caught a glimpse of stormy blue eyes as he was dragged out of the room.

I never got to return to my cell that night. As my eyes zoned in on the blue chemical mixture in front of me I felt a haze cloud my mind, it wasn’t abnormal to experience but I also felt like I was losing myself when it happened. Following my own written instructions I was able to continue my work. The only other thing I forced my mind to remember were two things.

I am First Lieutenant (Y/n) (L/n) of the US Army Nurse Corps. Soldier boy is Sergeant James Barnes.

The words became a mantra in the blank canvas my mind was currently in as I blindly worked by instructions of my very own that I don’t even remember writing. My body moved on auto pilot as I was taken to a crude looking examination room. In the center was soldier boy Sergeant James Barnes strapped to the table. As my mind raced to catch up with me, flashes of memories clouded my mind from when Steve Rogers got the serum, the explosion that followed, Dr. Erskine being shot. My body tensed at a passing memory of being in the chair passed through being replaced by the pain I felt giving myself the serum.

A hand pressed firmly in between my shoulder blades pushing me forward. I stumbled to the table catching myself with a hand on his arm. Wasn’t he wearing an army jacket before? My eyes landed on the serum filled syringe in my hands reminding me of what I was about to do. “First lieutenant (Y/n) (F/n) of the US Army Nurse Corps.. You are Sergeant James Barnes.. I’m sorry for what I am about to do. You’ll be okay. I’ve used it on myself. It will hurt.” My voice sounded so… robotic and monotone as I spoke to him. My hands pushing up his sleeve.

My hands worked from memory and out of second nature my mouth moved and the hymn fell from my lips. The melody of the song was the only comfort I could offer as I injected the poor man with the serum that would change his life forever. His eyes looked up at mine until the pain of the serum changing his body caused them to shut tightly. The leather restraints holding him in began to rip as he pulled against them. Discarding the empty syringe I tried to soothe him more but the second my hand touched his head I was shot with a sedative.

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

Steve Rogers has dressed up performing on stage like a dancing monkey to sell war bonds since he was given the serum. His first time on foreign grounds and he was performing for soldiers he should have been fighting alongside of. All to be booed off the stage by disgruntled men who just wanted to see a pretty dame.

Steve finally looked away from the rain but not quite at Peggy, “At least he’s got me doing this. Phillips would have had me stuck in a lab.” Blue eyes finally met the face of Agent Carter. “And these are your only two options? A lab rat or a dancing monkey? You were meant for more than this, you know.” Her wording might have been a bit rude but the point got across. There was a moment of silence between the two but Steve had this look to him. “What?” Peggy inquired.

The man was drawing in the rain when a familiar face popped up. “Hello, Steve.” Peggy Carter approached him from behind, making him turn from his drawing to greet her, “Hi.” She mimed his ‘hi’ back before laying her jacket down to sit on while Steve asked, “What are you doing here?” Peggy looked at Rogers and let out a small sigh, “Officially, I’m not here at all. That was quite a performance.”

Rogers looked away disappointed that she had caught the horrible show that happened earlier. “Yeah. I uh, I had to improvise a little bit. The crowds I’m used to are usually more, uh, twelve.” Steve explained looking out at the drenched ground and falling rain. “I understand you’re ‘America’s New Hope’.” Peggy states watching him. “Bond sales take a 10% bump in every state I visit.” Steve comments like a robot. “Is that Senator Brandt I hear?”

“You know for the longest time, I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines, serving my country. I finally got everything I wanted and I’m wearing tights.” Steve kept looking down at his journal then squinting out through the rain. A horn alarmed behind them as a medical vehicle slid to a stop in the mud. Medics ran from the infirmary tent to help unloaded soldiers on gurneys. “They look like they’ve been through hell.” Peggy turned back towards Rogers. “These men more than most.” Steve looked up at Peggy knowing she had more details. “Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano. Two hundred men were there to back up an already injured fleet, they went up against him and less than 75 returned. Your audience contained what was left of the 107th and 34th.” Steve slowly turned his head feeling bad for the men who were lost but his attention snapped to Peggy at the mention of the divisions involved as she finished, “The rest were killed or captured.”

“The 107th?” The confirmation had him darting out into the rain, Peggy following holding her jacket over her head for coverage from the rain. The two ran all the way to the tent Colonel Phillips was sitting in signing condolence letters. “Colonel Phillips.” Steve called for the man’s attention as he approached. “Well, if it isn’t the Star-Spangled Man With A Plan. What is your plan today?” The colonel responded looking up at the pair now standing in front of him. “I need the casualty list from Azzano.” The tone he used was definitely fitting for the role he plays on stage. Phillips however did not appreciate it. “You don’t get to give me orders, son.”

“I just need one name, Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th.” Rogers responded un phased. Phillips pointed his pen at Peggy, “You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy.” Steve was insistent though and again requested the information he wanted, “Please tell me if he’s alive, sir. B-A-R..” “I can spell.” Phillips cut him off before muttering, “First Stark and now this.” He stood from the table and paged through the letters he just finished signing. “I have signed more of these condolence letters today that I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry. To the both of you.” Phillips looks from Rogers to Peggy and the woman knew he was referring to her friend from the 34th.”

“What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?” Rogers was something else, optimistic maybe. “Yeah, it’s called winning the war.” The look of disbelief that Steve sent the colonel as he spoke might have been the first red flag for Peggy Carter. “But if you know where they are, why not at least..” Phillips once again cut the man off, “They’re 30 miles behind the lines through some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe.” Phillips was eyeing the spot on the map as he talked about it, even pointing the place out directly. “We’d lose more men than we’d save. But I don’t expect you to understand that because you’re a chorus girl.”

The colonels' dig at Roger’s lack of status didn’t seem to phase the man but it did fuel the plan he was formulating in his head while staring at the map, memorizing it. “I think I understand just fine.”

“Well, then understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly, you got someplace to be in 30 minutes.” The colonel walked past him giving Rogers a very clear view of the map marking out exactly where he needed to go, and where he was. “Yes, sir. I do.” Perhaps the time staring at the map was the second red flag that Peggy noticed. As her eyes flickered between him and the map as he left the tent it all clicked into place and she hurried after the taller man.

“What do you plan to do, walk to Austria?” Peg asked as she entered the tent used as the changing room. “If that’s what it takes.” Steve answered not looking up from where he was struggling with boots. “You heard the Colonel. Your friend, and mine, are most likely dead.”

“You don’t know that.” Steve disagreed as he continued to get ready. “Even so, he’s devising a strategy. If he detects..” Steve cut her off as he put on a brown leather jacket, “By the time he’s done that, it could be too late.” He snatched up his bag and shield and headed for the exit. “Steve!” Peggy called following him to the vehicle he tossed his things into. The rain had stopped leaving the sun to rapidly evaporate the water leaving puffs of smoke in the air. Steve looked at the brunette in front of him. “You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

“Every word.”

“Then you got to let me go.” Steve turned to get into the jeep and started the engine before Peggy was at the side. “I can do more than that.” She told him.

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

Peggy hadn’t lied. She got them a method of transport much faster than the jeep. Howard Stark sat in the pilot seat flying a plane with the slight chance his fiancée may still be alive. Stark was devastated when he first found out that the 34th was attacked and that only doubled when the attack at Azzano took out the 107th as well.

“The Hydra camp is in Krausberg, tucked between these two mountain ranges.” Peggy infomed Rogers as she pointed to the map she was holding. “It’s a factory of some kind.” She gave him as much information as she could. “We should be able to drop you right on the doorstep.” Howard called over his shoulder.

“Just get me as close as you can.” Steve called back up to the pilot. He looked back over at the woman in front of him. “You know.. You two are gonna be in a lot of trouble when you land.” He was worried about her getting into trouble for him but she looked at him just as worried. “And you won’t?” Steve dismissed her worries, turning his head. “Where I’m going, if anyone yells at me, I can just shoot them.” There was a small click of a loaded gun.

“They will undoubtedly shoot back.” Peggy surmised. Steve turned to the shield he had been using on stage giving it a knock, “Well let's hope it’s good for something.” Steve turned back to her just as Howard called back, “Agent Carter? If we’re not in too much of a hurry, I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for a late-night fondue.” Howard was teasing the agent, the smile on his face hidden from those being him. Peggy shifted in her seat choosing to ignore him and keep conversation going with Rogers. “Stark is the best civilian pilot I’ve ever seen. He’s mad enough to brave this airspace. We’re lucky to have him.”

Steve however was still not fully over the comment Stark made. “So, are you two… do you…” There was an awkward pause as Steve thought of the proper way to ask if they were seeing each other by reusing Stark’s words, “..Fondue?” Stark tried not to laugh from the pilot’s seat as Peggy simply shook her head and handed him a device. “This is your transponder. Activate it when you’re ready and the signal will lead us straight to you.” Steve took a moment to look at the device now in his hand before calling up to Howard, “Are you sure this thing works?”

“It’s been tested more than you, pal.” Howard defended seconds before gunfire hit the side of the plane. The plane shook as bullets pelted the sides, shaking the aircraft from the force. Steve stood grabbing his shield and heading towards the door. That he opened. “Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in!” Peggy ordered yelling over the wind rushing into the plane. “As soon as I’m clear, you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here!” Steve ordered back over the noise of the wind, gunfire, and the pinging of bullets on the plane.

“You can’t give me orders!” Peggy disagreed.

“The hell I can’t! I’m a Captain!” Steve looked over at her, giving her a smile that made her weak in the knees. He grabbed the goggles from his helmet, lowered them over his eyes and launched himself out of the plane. Peggy watched him fall towards the ground before the red fabric of his parachute was visible in the night sky from the flying bullets. Howard turned back as instructed by the Captain. Now all they could do was wait.

[honney-boy]

Knight In Shining Board Shorts

 John B Routledge x Reader

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: injuries, fluff, bad surfing terminology, a huge amount of cuteness and fluff toward the ending, bugs bunny reference, a good ole smooch from the reader, grammer mistakes

Request: yes

could I req some john b fluff? Maybe him taking care of a hurt reader?

A/N: Sorry it took my forever to get this out. This request has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I finally found the inspiration to finish it up. Double warning, I know nothing about surfing so I kind of did my research. So don’t attack me if I get the description wrong for surfing. Also, sorry if this seems rushed toward the ending, I didn't want to drag it out too long. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

For: Anon From:@honney-boy​

if you want to be tagged in any of my work, send me an ask or message me! taglist is at the bottom of the fic :) request are open!

masterlist | obx masterlist | taglist

gif by →???(not my gif)

You knew from the moment you were swimming out, the further you got, the closer the wave got. It was a big one, and you like that–the bigger the tide, the better the surf. It was something you and the others said all the time. The others, you almost forgot about them. You had been too focused on catching a good wave to notice that they began to leave—all but John B.

As the wave got closer, you had this feeling in your stomach. Uncertainty? Fear? Whatever it was, it was bothering you, but you were going to ignore it because this was the wave, your wave, and you were going to catch it. You swim yourself out some more, the wave racing toward you as you catch sight, but you still have a reasonable distance between you and it. Turning your longboard around, you push yourself on, laying on your stomach, and then paddling. You gave a few nice and easy paddles before picking up speed. When the wave got to your tail, you kicked it up even more and gave your last strokes all you had. Shooting one last glance over your shoulder to gauge at the wave, you were in a perfect position. When you feel the burst of momentum and speed, you swiftly pop up, placing your feet where they need to be, bending your knee while holding your arms out for balance, and riding the wave.

Your eyes squinted as the wind blew in your face, and the loud sound of the water in your ear was all worth it. No matter how many times you surfed, whether it be on a good weather day or bad, you loved it a lot. A smile graces your face. Whatever it was you were feeling earlier was long gone; happiness and adrenaline filled every inch of your body.

On the shore, you could see John B standing there, arms crossed as he watched you. You couldn't see the emotion on his face, but you knew there was a smile. He gave you a thumbs up, and then you noticed that he was the only one left on the shore, which didn't surprise you. When you and the pogues go surfing, the last two are usually you and John B. Occasionally, JJ would stay, and John B would end up dropping him at his house or the Chateau before taking you home. Kie usually took Pope home since he was more than willing to leave early, but you would live with the water if you could. Even without your friends, you'd come to catch waves by yourself or swim around, that's how much you loved the ocean. It was your happy place.

You lose your footing, but blow it off because you could fix it, and you had your board leash around your ankle if need be. Your back left–right foot and the same as before–slips again, and you make the mistake of looking back at the wave. One of the top five rules to surfing: keep your focus forward, never look over your shoulder or back at the tidal.

Your board flipped with you riding, causing you to fall in the water. You tried your best to swim to the surface, but with the wave and its currents, it dragged you and your board with it while keeping you down. You couldn't grab hold of your board, and the longer it wasn't in your grasp, the worse it would be for you—an eight footboard attached to the ankle by a leash against a 5 foot something girl. The odds were not in your favor. Your board jerked you around, pulling hard at your feet, causing your pain. The wave still had a lot of momentum, but you kept trying with all your strength to push past gravity to the top.

A loud gasp broke through as you crashed through the surface, and your hand reached out to grasp anything. You were up long enough to hear the shout of your name before the current dragged you back down under the surface. This time when you were under, you had the common sense to maneuver your leash off your ankle. Your legs burned from the constant kicking, but this wasn't your first time fighting a wave, and it wasn't your last–this wave wasn't going to win. Pushing your legs harder, you keep kicking, moving your body back to the surface and ignoring every pain, ache, and warning your body is giving you to stop. This time when you burst through, the wave was gone–well, not totally gone, just smaller in size and closer to shore. 

Shore was further away than the last time you looked at it; the water must have pushed you further out. Before you began to try and swim the distance to shore, you took a moment to breathe and calm your racing heart. But something tugs at you, and your mind goes into sheer panic, thinking you were going to get pulled under again. You began kicking away to go to shore again, but a pair of what felt like hands held a tight grip on your waist.

"Hey, hey, y/n," you recognize that voice. The hands pull you toward the person in the water with you. "You okay?" you turn around, and John B's face comes to view. His brown eyes scan your face and then lock back onto y/e/c ones. His hair was wet, making his usually golden brown locks dark against his tan skin. Concern filled his eyes, and the grip he had on you was one you could tell that he wasn't going to dare to let go.

Nodding your head and taking a deep breath, you reassure him to cease his worries. "Yeah, yup–I'm fine. I just lost my balance." You take your hands and place them on his wrist to push his own hands away from your waist. Reluctantly at first, he does let go but stays close.

"That looked pretty rough,"

"I thought it looked bangin to me," you say, trying to hide your previous mild freak out with wit and humor. John B's face got serious for a moment, which made you shrink back and cringe, knowing he didn't find humor in what just happened. 

"Well, you're opinion on what looked like what happened is a bit bent since you didn't see it from a different point of view."

"And yours is prejudiced. You weren't out here, so it looks like we're in the same boat, hm?" You retorted; John B shook his head. 

"Whatever; let's head back. I have to swing by the Chateau first before I take you home," he tilts his head, gesturing to the beach. "I'll grab your longboard." Getting out of logging that big thing back to the beach was an offer you weren't going to let by. Your legs ache–swimming against the water wasn't helping with that–and you weren't sure if it was just from kicking extra hard, but it felt like a sharp pain kept shooting up your leg every few minutes.

"Alright, I won't pass on that offer." You say, and the two of you swim back. You were expecting the touch of sand to stab against your feet once you were able to touch the ground. Even the little fish swimming around your feet; what you weren't expecting was the sudden intense pain from your right ankle when you put all your weight on it. You would have fallen if it weren't for John B there to catch you. Oh, how you are so grateful for him to be around all the time. He's truly the sweetest.

"Woah, woah, what's going on?" he quickly asked; you hold on to one of his arms and squeeze your eyes shut. Ow, ow, ow, ow. It went through your mind a thousand times before you took a deep breath and opened your eyes again. "Y/n," the boy said once more with a different tone, more pressing.

"I'm fine. I'm fine, Routledge. I just stepped on a tough and sharp shell. You know the ones that feel like the legos that Gabe plays with." He knew what you were talking about. Your kid brother loved playing with legos. He gets a new set about every other week and builds it. You adore his little hobby, but he leaves pieces everywhere. And your misfortunate enough to step on them every day. 

John B seemed convinced enough, so you guys keep walking, but the pain is excruciating that you want to rip your foot and ankle off. About halfway to his van–limping the entire way–you think you're still in the clear until your knees buck and a hand grabs your arm to steady you. Your eyes meet his stern look. Rolling your eyes, you turn away.

"Routledge, I'm fine–quit your fuss."

"You've almost fallen twice. I don't think you're okay," he says, then wraps an arm around your waist. "I wouldn't be a very good boyfriend if I didn't worry about you."

"It's fine–" you go to walk away, but his arm around you pulls you back.

"You just tried, and you nearly fell, don't try it again." You go to object, but he slips an arm underneath your leg and fixes the other to go on your back before lifting you effortlessly. You don't know when he dropped your board, but soon you were up higher in the arms of your beautiful boyfriend. "Don't tell me you're okay. You're clearly not. But I've got you.", you have your arms wrapped around his neck, sighing you give up the fight you were about to put up and let him carry you to his van. "I'm going to put you down for a sec." He said once you got to the van. You nodded your head and prepared yourself; he dropped your legs, arm still around your waist, you balanced yourself on your uninjured foot. John B. opened the passenger door and helped you get in.

"Don't forget my board you dropped; I'll be having you pay for another if you leave without it." John B couldn't help but let the laugh that bubbled up in his chest out as you pointed to him. He knew you were serious, but you were too darn cute when serious.

"I wasn't, I wasn't. Hold back your sass before it attacks me." 

"Oh, it can attack you whenever it pleases," with a matter-of-fact tone, the sass he was talking about from you sass seeped through, which caused another laugh to escape him. 

He shook his head and began to walk away. "See, there it is." You roll your eyes, tearing them away to look out at the ocean and the orange and yellow sky from the sunset. It never failed to amaze you with so much beauty the Outer Banks carried. The town sure did have shitty people–like every other town–but the town still had so much that overlooked that, and it's beauty was one.

Your boyfriend made it back to the van and drove you both to the Chateau like he said he would. You watched him get out but figured he would just run in and back out quickly, so you pulled your phone out of your bag at your feet. You start to scroll through tweets on Twitter–thank goodness the island’s power and the internet was still on after the storm last week–but it was cut short with the creek of the passenger door opening. 

"Alright, come on you're coming too," John B says as you look at him. Your face scrunched with confusion and noticing that, he further elaborates. "It was going to be a quick stop until you hurt your foot. It still is, but I get to play your nurse, now come on," he holds his hand out, and you take it whether you want this help or not. John B helped you out of the van and into the comfort of his home; you sit down on the couch in the living room while he disappears in the back. You're tempted to make yourself extra comfortable - the Chateau is like your second home - but this is a quick stop. And your ankle is killing you, so you adjusted the way you sat, sitting against the arm of the couch and laying your leg across the cushions.

When John B does walk back into the room, he is already speaking to you, but John B focused his attention on the things he had in his hand. You see an unopened package with the bandage he would wrap around your ankle and a bag.

“So I did find the bandage I was talking about; I’m surprised it hasn’t been opened considering the number of times someone gets hurt between JJ and I.”

“Is that a bag - a bag of frozen peas?” You ask, interrupting him, not trying to be rude, but the bag you know he grabbed from the freezer in his hand messed with your mind. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes averting from his hands to you on the couch, different from when he left you. He stared at you with lips parted and his brows pinched together to top off his confused expression. You continued, not letting him have the chance to answer yet. “You know, as my nurse, I expected you to have an ice pack at least,” you gestured to the bag of peas as his expression wavered with a shake of his head.

"Hey, I had a bandage wrap in the cabinet and pain killers. A bag of frozen peas won't kill you; they're the best home remedy actually." he pointed and continued to make his way over to you, making the coffee table his seat, then gesturing his hands, wanting you to turn toward him.

“Who told you that?” you ask him, turning and making sure you avoid bumping your foot against anything. You managed just that, even guiding your foot toward his lap in a slow movement, but it was when he reached to help you that your success turned into failure. A sharp intake of breath came from your lips as pain struck your bad foot and then left your ankle and the lower part of your foot in throbbing pain.

"Are you okay?" your sweet and sometimes clueless boyfriend asked, concern dripping into his words, matching with his worried look. You nodded your head, but your eyes shut tight as you waited for the pain to subside. "I'm sorry you're in pain Bugs," his gaze scanned your face, and you knew he was without having to look at him; a ghost of a smile graced your face at the nickname.

“I know, Doc; it’s not your fault. I’m the one who didn’t swim back when I needed to.”

“You were just you...stubborn and daring,” one of your eyes snapped open, catching the smirk he had on his lips and the glint in his eyes. You didn’t have that long of a glimpse to figure out what that glint was, but you had a feeling you knew what it was. You muttered ‘whatever,’ making him chuckle as he set up his hands to hover over the spots on your foot he was going to touch first. “Alright, I’m going to turn your foot a little and move it to wrap the bandage around it.” You nodded your head, shifting your body and preparing for the pain you know you were about to feel. “Oh! I almost forgot. I found something else that could help the next person that gets hurt. I have my old hard cast from when I broke my arm if you or someone else ever needed it.”

“Ew, John B, that’s disgusting, you’re a horrible at-home nurse - no proper equipment and made up home remedies,” you shook your head, both of your eyes opened now, but your head tilted back against the back of the couch. 

“Hey, I never said I was an at-home nurse, just your nurse temporarily,” he reminded you. He opened the package that contained the bandage, eyes switching between what he was doing and your figure.

“Well, I expected my nurse to at least have something a little more than an OLD - “ you pause yourself as the most pain you felt so far since hurting your foot traveled from your ankle, through your foot, and up a bit in your calf. You tried to pull your foot away, but John B was already ahead of you with his hand on the back of your calf prepared to keep your leg still. “ - dirt cast and peas.” you exhale the rest of your sentence out quickly so you could hold back the screams in your throat. Your hands clawed at the couch cushions for some leverage as your teeth pinched tightly at your bottom lip. John B whispered a bunch of sorries to you as he tried his best not to mess up the beginning of wrapping your foot again.

"You have far too much faith in me," he muttered, way too focused on the job at hand. You breathed in through your nose and out through your mouth multiple times. Your fingers twitch, ready to grab onto the nearest thing with a death grip if need be.

With a shaky breath, you manage to get out a few words as he begins to finish up, "And you have far little." A soft huff came from him, followed by a short hum - you knew he agreed with you, but it cracked your heart knowing that he hardly had faith in himself, but he had so much faith in other people. Once he did finish up, he rubbed his hand up and down your calf gently. The gesture made your eyes flutter open and slowly tilt your head back down to look at the boy of your dreams. He was already looking at you with a soft look, making your heart swoon and the pain go away. You reached out to him with a pouty face, and he automatically knew what you wanted. So he slowly and nicely helped you move your leg to lay across the couch before he stood up to join you. You lift your leg and sit it against his lap, the both of your getting comfortable. "Wanna know something?"

"I'm not going to like what you're about to tell me...am I?" With one hand caressing your thigh, the other sat on your calf, rubbing small circles against it. You shrug your shoulders, give him a grin.

“You might like what I have to say,” you say to him; with a lifted brow, he gives you a look to continue just as his lips also tug into a smile but a small one. You don’t say what you have to say right away. You take the next few moments to look at him. The sandy, golden brown locks that were in his face get pulled back as you take a hand and run your fingers through it gently. This causes his eyes to flutter shut; when you repeat the motion with your fingers, he pushes his head into your hand more and lets out a hum. Your eyes dance across his face, admiring his features such as the freckles scattered across his face, the few scars he earned from being the wild personality he is, and those soft kissable lips of his. They were probably a bit chapped since you didn’t bring your chapstick with you today. He usually stole it because he always lost his own. You didn’t mind it, though, “I love you,” it almost comes out as a whisper, but it came out loud enough to be considered something more than a whisper, but it was quiet. He heard you, and you knew he did as his eyes opened and those hazel orbs gazed right into y/e/c ones.

The smile on his lips grew wider; all the adoration he had for you and possibly more echoed through his eyes, and just looking into them made you feel so loved and wanted; you blushed a couple of seconds later at how intense his stare became. “I know,” he said not too long after, and you pout at his words, already knowing he was teasing you. To top it all off, he chuckles, and you avert your gaze away from him, but his hand grasps your cheek. Thumb rubbing the soft skin as he tilts your face up a bit so you can look at him. When you did, that big grin was still present. “I love you too, bugs,” and you knew he meant it. His hand on your cheek slides to the back of your neck, pulling your face closer until your soft lips grazed his. Your eyes flutter shut, and then take a kiss from him, a deep, slow, and passionate one. When you pulled away, you pressed your forehead against his, not opening your eyes just yet because you wanted to cherish the moment you had.

➣ End Note:

Again sorry this took so long to get out.

Taglist: @ifilwtmfc​

[If you want to be added to the taglist add yourself here! If you no longer want to be on it let me know. :) ]

[human-nonsense]

Chapter 1 of my WIP

Hey looking I'm being a writeblr lol. So I've posted parts of this chapter before but this will be the full chapter. its definitely not perfect (its like a slightly edited first draft lol) but I tried lol. I appreciate anyone who reads this! Hope you enjoy <3 <3 <3 

Tagging @marvel-and-writing @northofnowhere4 @kaz3313 @cassandra-yannu-writes and I’ll tag you @kiki-thelocal-farmhoe even though you read it already ajkdjjfhakjhf 

Paige had asked me not to follow him that morning. I lasted not even five minutes before I grabbed my cloak, projected out of our realm, and make my way toward the Earth against his wishes. He honestly should have known better than to ask such a thing of me, especially today, but I think he was so much of a nervous wreck when he left that my role in all of this must have slipped his mind. Probably.  

As I traveled through the space between Earth and my home, a small ring of blue appeared in front of me. Without hesitation I reached out and pulled the sides until it grew big enough for me to step through it. With my feet hitting the soft ground the smell of grass filled my nose and I smiled. It’s been a while, I’ve missed you.

Then the smell of cattle and shit reached me, and my face cringed a bit. I blinked a few times as the portal disappeared behind me and the sunlight blinded my eyes. The shapes around me cleared and I found myself standing in a field among 20 to 30 black and brown cows. Their brown eyes were all on me, and I raised my hands in surrender.

“Hello darlings, it seems I’m in the wrong place. Any of you know where Mistwood is?” One particular cow made a muffled mooing sound before completely turning her backside toward me.  Ignoring my question, she ripped at the grass below her.

“Ok sorry for asking.” I muttered a few curses along with “Rude cow,” as I put my hands down. Treading carefully as I avoided cow waste, I tried my best to look past the cows and off into the horizon in hope of seeing buildings. I can’t be THAT far off...but then again, the Earth is pretty large. I frowned.

 “AYE! Get away from my cows!” I turned around and found an older man shaking a shovel in the air. He was steaming as he paced quickly toward me.

“Who are ya, huh? You trying to steal me cows? Speak thief! I won’t continue to be taken advantage of just cuz you people thing I’m old! You hear me!” I side eye the cow that had ignored me earlier as I muttered, “As if I’d want your cows.” “What you say!”

“I said I’m lost. Can you help me? I’m trying to get to Mistwood.” By this time, he was now a few feet in front of me. He was shorter than me with a ragged white beard and a small hunch in his back. He dug his shovel a bit into the ground and leaned on it as he studied my face with narrow beady eyes.

“So... you’re not trying to steal me cows? How do I know you’re telling truth huh? I’ve been robbed before, how do I know it wasn’t you who robbed me last time! I’m not dumb! I’m-”

I placed a hand on his shoulder and felt a coolness grow on my palm. My eyes caught contact with his and I smiled. I could feel as the old man’s tense shoulder relaxed in my grip. The shovel slipped from his grasp and landed with a thud on the ground. His eyes gleamed bright for a second before dimming down to their natural brown. I smiled again.

“I promise I have no desire so steal from you. Now can you tell me where Mistwood is?” The old man’s fists clenched and relaxed at his sides. He took a deep breath before he gurgled the back of his throat and spat to the side. I had to hold myself from twisting my face.

His eyes gleamed again as he said, “It’s roughly 200 miles East from here.” I glanced in the direction he was pointing and let go of the old man. East? Oh that’s right, I forgot that’s the new north. Who was the dumbass who switched those around? It wasn’t me was it?

The old man shook his head a bit. He probably felt the usual groggy and confused, but I didn’t have the time to explain to him what I did or say that I was sorry. I could always come back and do that. I could even give him a cow or something. Better yet I could deal with the people stealing from him, but for now I had to find Paige. I hope I find him before he finds her.

I was already making my way through the cows, my eyes peeled for their crap, by the time I heard his voice again. “Aye, wait! Wait one second young lady, what was... I feel... WAIT!” Now outside of the herd, I turned to face him as I continued to walk steadily backwards. “Yes?” Struggling to keep up he asked, “You’re not gonna walk all the way there are you? It will take days and you got nothing with you. What kind of traveler travels without supplies huh? Are you sure you’re not up to something bad like stealing-”

A large blue ring of energy burst open behind me stopping him in his tracks. “Of course not, thank you for your time Jaymes. May our paths cross again another day...or something.”  I stepped back into the portal and I watched as his eyes grew wide. His mouth hung open as the ring closed around me. Before the portal completely closed, I popped my head out and quickly told him, “And good luck with the cows and the harvest. Remember not to drown your plants that what got you in trouble last year, ok bye”

I vanished with a pop. The words “how did you...” echoed in the distance as I made my way toward Mistwood.  I was careful not to arrive anywhere crowded, I did not need to freak out a crowd and create a whole mob today. Some Earth Humans may know about magic but not all of them. And as for the few who practice it, their abilities could never compare to what Paige and I could do.

I peeked through the small ring to check if the area was clear before stepping into an empty alley. I took a moment to rest against the brick wall that ran down most of one side. Those portals really do a number on me, especially when I miss. With my eyes closed and my back against the wall, I blindly padded down the various pockets hidden within my black button-down vest. It took me a second but I final took out a light blue cloth out of a pocket of my navy-blue britches. The cloth was long enough to tie around my face up to my nose, which I did.  I waved my hand slowly across my face and the cloth glimmered as it changed into a dark mask.

The mask waved and shimmered giving it the illusion that it was made from fluid water like shadows. I use this technique usually to make sure my face will be covered no matter what lighting I may walk through, but also, well, because I thought it was cool. It covered everything except my eyes. Finally, I got off the wall and put the hood of my cloak up to hide the rest of my head from sight. Not wasting anymore time I paced out of the alley and on to the semi crowded sidewalk.

I think I blended in with crowd well enough? My clothes were definitely not as flashy or bright as they could be, but they were nice.  I got a few glances no doubt due to the speed I was walking and the fact I was just slightly pushing past some of them. Not too hard of course, I don’t need to accidently break one of them or something. Oh that would be the last thing I need today, another headache to explain to Paige.  

“Hey what’s the rush huh!” I briefly turned back to give the slow man I had bumped past a look. He spilled a bit of the drink gripped in his hand as he jumped back, practically out of his skin.

“Ahh sor- sorry.” He stuttered before I turned back and kept walking. I’m going to take it that my eyes are really red right now if I freaked him out that badly. On a less stressful occasion I probably would have enjoyed messing with an Earth human, just a tiny bit, but my thoughts of Paige pushed any thought of fun out of my mind.

There was no telling where he could be, the city of Miswood was a very large, busy, and modernized city that he could literally be three steps behind me, and I’d probably never know. So instead of search for Paige I decide to head straight for the hospital I knew would be his end destination.

The place, unfortunately, was a building he has visited many times before, but today would be a different kind of visit if everything went according to plan. I have been to Mistwood’s Hospital of the Sun many times too for various reasons, so I knew my way well. It seems that Paige and I are often...needed in those sorts of places.

After a block I decided to just run for it. With every step I was cursing out my portals. A few lifetimes of practicing and I still can’t do the stupid things right 100% of the time. They’re just weird to me and so hard to navigate in that you basically have to guess when to step out unless you’re constantly peak out all the time. I am not afraid to admit I get lost...a lot, and that’s why I’m running because I don’t want to try again and accidently end up in another city like an idiot.

Maybe my frustration blinded me or I was too busy keeping myself from wheezing too loudly, but I completely ran past him before I registered his existence in the corner of my eye. Skidding to a stop, I took a few steps back and saw a pacing Paige mumbling loudly to himself back and forth farther into the alleyway next to me. His hands covered his masked shaking face as he said to himself, “I can’t do this, I just can’t! It will be one big mess!”

My attention being solely on him I gloriously rammed the side of my hip and leg into a metal trash bin on my right while I was making my way toward him. I grunted and cursed, grabbing at my side as the metal bin crashed with a loud CLUNK on the floor before spilling most of its contents between the two of us. Paige’s head snapped my direction. The air around us picked up and cooled to the point we could faintly see each other’s breathes. In seconds it warmed as the air calmed the moment he recognized me.      

“Greenwood?” He whispered. His hands were slightly shaking and his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. Rubbing my side and giving a frustrated kick at the bin below, I made my way closer to him. “Paige, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be­-”

“I know!” he interrupted loudly before quickly covering the part of his mask where his mouth would have been.  He waved the same shaking hand over his face and his dark shadowy mask similar to mine vanished into a small white cloth. Still not meeting my gaze he pulled the cloth down to his neck before running the same hand through his brown hair.  

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t of... I’m just...” sighing he started again. “I’m scared. Of what she will think of me. I don’t know how much she might remember and... it’s hard. So I panicked half way and I just...” he gestured the alley around him. I waved my mask off and pulled the cloth down. I was close enough now that I could reach out and touch him so I placed a hand on his shoulder. He kept his head down so I cocked my head to the side to try and met his gaze.

“Hey, I know what you mean. The closer I get to her... the more terrified I feel.” His eyes finally glanced up to me. “You have no reason to be afraid. She’ll love you if we can do this right but me...” I placed my other hand on his other shoulder as I smiled at him. “Exactly Paige! If we do this right she will... we will have another chance to make things right. To make it up to her.”

Paige was quiet as his icy eyes searched my now blues ones, considering the conversation. A small grin made his way across his face.

“You’re not trying to use some magic shit on me now are you?” I laughed before letting him go. “Me? Of course not, though I did have to do some to get here.” “You didn’t use the trees?” “I...didn’t think about it to be honest. I wasn’t thinking straight and I got just a bit lost, but I’m here so what does it matter, right?” He shook his head, his grin not leaving him.

“I thought I asked you to stay put?” “Can you really blame me! I mean what would you have done if our roles were reversed, huh?” “Not far from the same thing.” His grin fades as the daunting weight of his task fell on his shoulders once more.

Twisting one of my fingers in front of me, I continued. “And now that I’m here, I can help.” He looked down, his eyes glancing at his sword. “It’s still mostly up to me though.” “That’s true. I can’t do this for you, I know that, but I can walk with you, yeah? And when we’re there, I promise I won’t be far.”

I gave him my best smile and he gave a short laugh. Nodding he answered quietly, “You never are.”

He looked off to the side in a daze. His hands were shaking a bit less now, however one of them was grasping the shiny silver sword at his hip tightly. Blinking out of his daze he looked at his sword again and slowly nodded his head. I watched him intently, as old memories resurfaced no doubt in both of our minds.

At last he said, “I made a promise to try didn’t I. So try I will. For her.” He looked my way and I gave him a nod. “For her.”

Paige took a deep breath before placing his palm on his chest. “What color should we be then?” I thought about it for second before answering, “I don’t think there’s many Ohpan humans this down south so... Ralodan?” He nodded his agreement and I put my own hand on my chest. Together we said,

The true form of the universe is unknown

It is hidden within a color we can not see  

Just like I wish to be

Make me Ralodan

           As our final words left our lips, a white light extended from our hand. The light beamed bright as it expanded from our chests causing the parts of us the light touched to disappear. In a matter of seconds, we were completely gone, or at least we would appear to be among the Earth Humans. They wouldn’t be able to see or hear our footsteps. As long as we kept our mouths shut and hands to ourselves it will seem like we don’t exist at all. We gave each other a once over to make sure we were completely covered before I lead us out of the alley way.

Neither of us walked with much of a hurry. I could only guess Paige was trying to stall as much as I was. Though my face felt emotionless my hands could not stop twisting in front of me. Just thinking about where we were heading made my stomach drop and my heart beat a bit faster. Paige though calmer, was still gripping his sword tightly and his shoulders were tense with stress. I looked away from him and smiled to myself. I guess we’re still just as human as anyone else huh...

I crashed into Paige’s backside, my distracted mind not realizing he had stopped. I whispered my apologies, but he didn’t pay me any mind. His eyes instead were glued on the towering hospital a block in front of us.

For a second I thought he might run away. He was paler than before and wouldn’t look away from building and I was prepared to catch him if he did decide to flee. However, he only put his hands in the pockets of his old black leather jacket before walking ahead of me. I took a moment to watch him and look up at the rows of windows higher above. I wonder which one’s hers...I thought, instantly making my stomach drop again. With a hand pressed to my gut I followed behind him.

No one paid us any mind as we entered the hospital. The waiting area was full of buzzing people rushing here and there. Some of them I recognized as doctors and alchemists due to their orange, red robes that had a large symbol of the sun on their backs. Paige and I had to be patient and observant enough to stay out of people’s ways. This made catching up to Paige to be a bit of a struggle but hey like I promised him, I wasn’t far off.  

In the middle of the hospital stood four large blocks of wooded lifts that were each separated by maybe a couple feet of marble flooring. Each lift had four poles to hold up a thin roof that was decorated with silver sun symbols on the top. Large silver chains were attached to each corner of each lift. With my eyes I followed the chains up the seven levels of the hospital all the way to the clear glass roof that allowed the sun to beam directly on the lifts and then some.

I watched with a proud smile as the symbols of one of the full lifts glowed red and the chains began to rattle. Up it went, faster than one would expect just looking at the weight it carried, but the power of the sun is a strong force. A joy filled me. Using the power of the sun took the humans millions of years to figure out and only a few thousands to relearn it, I was proud of them.

As Paige and I carefully dodged and maneuvered through the people we soon were able to reach the lifts. Paige managed to get on one with ease while I had to jump desperately reaching out for one of the poles as the lift left the ground. With the machines speed I only managed to grab the bottom of the pole. I felt my legs dangle down below and I willed myself not to look down. Silent as I could be, I pulled myself up and looked at Paige. I narrowed my eyes at the grinning face he did not try to hide. I gave him a very colorful gesture before gripping the pole tightly as the lift buckled to a stop.

There were three people being carried on a cot on the lift, two stronger looking individuals were at both ends of each one trying to keep the cot steady. These cots took up most of the space. A few clusters of families stood here and there with doctors in between them attending to the patents. As a cot and company made their way off the lift, a larger crowd of people took their places. The new flow of people pushed Paige and I tightly to the corners of the lift to the point we were both standing on the outside of the poles. The tips my feet barely stood on each side of the pole with the back of my feet touched nothing but air as a small family inched its way closer to me.

My stomach swirled as the lift buckled to life and I felt the absence of floor below me. Against my better judgement I glanced down just as the lift zipped upward. A sharp curse left my lips as my stomach dropped at the sight of the long-tilted drop below me. I closed my eyes and pressed my head on the pole as I tried to forget the image. It filled me with only a little bit of peace to know the marble floor did have an enchantment placed on it to make sure no one could fall to their deaths. Don’t ask how I know that.

I open my eyes briefly and a small child that belonged to the family in front of me was scanning his eyes my direction.

Well shit. Paige was watching quietly to my left. He had more room than I did with both feet standing firmly on the floor. I didn’t know what much he could do if anything.

Just looking at him all I could tell the child was eight and named Kelith. While glancing around for my voice, his curious eyes lingered on my face for a few seconds. I held my breath. His gazed moved on yet a frozen state took me as he reached out toward me with his small hand. I sucked my stomach in the closer he got. My heart thundered in my chests as thoughts reminded me of the open air behind my back. Shoo! Shoo! Please don’t make me have to drop and get another lift! Please Kelith! Mind your business!    

His small hand touched the pole a few inches below my hands as the lift came to another stop. His family, who were more concerned with their fallen family member then any sound I made, trailed a few doctors and a cot off the lift and onto the fifth level of the hospital. The child not wanting to be left behind followed quickly behind them giving me the opportunity to breath.  

Seconds after making are way up again I hear the taunting voice of Paige say, “That could’ve gone worse. I do wonder what you would’ve done if he had found you out.”  Glancing around the lift I found the lift to be a lot emptier than it had started out with. “I wasn’t about to fight an eight-year-old if that helps. Even if it was tempting.” He smiled and opened his mouth to answer only to close it into a thin line when the lift stopped for the final time.

A hand brushed over Paige’s paling face and through his hair.  “This is her floor isn’t?” I heard no answer. Light blue eyes were hazed in thought as they stared down the hallway before us. I glanced past him and watched the last cot getting situated to step off before looking back at Paige. Placing my hand on his shoulder I found tension there. Faint droplets of sweat adorned his forehead. The cot was halfway off the lift by now.

“Come on Paige.” There was pause of continuing silence. Before I could consider trying to drag him off, he nodded and walked forward. I followed behind and heard the rattling sound of the chain coming to life as my feet meet marble.

My eyes never left him as we continued through the hallway. Watching his stiff and uncomfortable presences made my mind fill with its own fair share of nervousness. Each quiet step we took, each stressed doctor holding files of paper rushing to some unknown room, each pained patient I caught glances of through windows and doorways... I wanted to bolt back home. I wasn’t ready to face her. I was a brave coward, I guess we both were. Brave enough to keep going but so much of a coward that I regret how far we’ve come. Then we turned a corner, Paige slowly stopped and that’s when I could hear a heart beating. I couldn’t tell if it was mine, but it echoed distantly as Paige turned back to finally look at me.

He leaned in closer as he whispered, “We’re a bit early, the morning nurse is still with her.” My eyes glanced against my will to the small window of the room to my right. That heartbeat returned stronger than before to only quieting down as only the light orange robes of the nurse filled my view.

I looked back at Paige just as he was recreating his mask. Instead of the shadowy void that we had worn before was now a simple polished blue porcelain half mask. The door clicked open and out stepped the nurse between us oblivious to our presences. I gently caught the door inches before it clicked shut. Paige made sure the nurse had made it down the hall before speaking again. The white of the walls, the emptiness of it all made it feel like nothing else existed, only this hallway, this room, me, Paige, and…

A weight filled my chest. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to walk through this door and face her if the thought of her alone made me anxious.

“Will you come in with me?” whispered Paige, his eyes practically begging me to say yes. I nodded. He relaxed just a bit.

“But I’ll stay like this, I don’t want to be seen just in case she remembers me.” “You know there’s only a small chance of that.” “But if she sees us both it will increase the chances. I don’t want to risk it. It will be too much for her if she remembers us both.”

Paige fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. “You’re right… I just think she would prefer to see your face over mine.” He places his hand on his chest and softly chanting,

I am of the Earth and the Sea

And of the space between all things

Let me be seen

Like before a white light beamed from his hand and traveled the extent of his body as it dispelled the color Ralodan that had covered his former self.  

He took a deep breath before facing me. “Where do you think I should start?” That question had a million answers. Over the last couple of centuries, it has haunted every quiet moment I’ve ever had, yet I still had no for sure answer even now that the question mattered.

“I…I can’t tell you that, but I do know not to start at the beginning. Maybe instead start with the chapter before that.” Paige nodded. He managed to take a step towards the door before I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

“Hey everything will work out, yeah? I know you can do this Paige.” His tensed shoulders relaxed only slightly. “I don’t think you have enough energy to magic my stress a way Greenwood.” “It was worth a try.” He patted the top of my head before pushing the door open and making his way into the room. I shook the nervousness out of my hands quickly before following right behind him.

I could not help by smile the second I saw her. There she was, after so long, she was now only a couple feet in front of me, of us. She was young, only 21 years old. Her dark blue eyes were a bright contrast against her light skin and the dark bags that laid beneath them. Her dark hair was a mess that came to her shoulders. The girl was pale and sweaty. She coughed and closed her eyes as she rubbed her chest. I thought she would pass out, but her droopy eyes reluctantly opened again. Almost like coughing drained her of all her energy. Like she was wasting away like an old woman laying in her death bed. My heart ached just looking at her.

Spread out on her bed were varies pieces of paper, pencils and pens. A pair of scissors was lazily grasped in her hands. She must have been doing some sort of crafts, as best as I could tell. At first, she didn’t notice us when we walked in. Her focused gaze was toward the large window to her left. I managed to catch a glance of the small birds that were chirping and dancing right outside the glass before the door closed with a click behind me. Hearing the door, she blinked out of her thoughts and turned our way.

A small sharp gasped escaped her, stopping Paige in his tracks. She turned her head in confusion as she studied him. Paige took another step and the girl moved back in her bed away from him.  

“You…who are you?” she managed to whisper.  A tense Paige took another small step towards her. The girl gripped her scissors a bit tighter in her gasps. I put an arm out in front of Paige to stop him from getting any closer. He didn’t look at me but as I quietly made my way away from him, he didn’t move a muscle.  

 “Hannah, I’m not here to hurt you. I-” “You know my name?”

Do you ever have that moment when look at someone and their face and very existence makes you so angry you could just punch them in the face then and there? Do you know that feeling? Well, I watched as the slightly fearful, yet curious look on Hannah’s face twisted to burning rage seconds after hearing Paige’s voice and I knew that moment was happening now. Her blue eyes burned dark. Her whole body started shaking, I thought she was going to explode. She had changed so much from the sick weak girl she had seemed that I took a few cautious steps away from the two of them and toward the window.

“That voice... where do I know that voice.” She said through strained teeth. My eyes grew wide. I looked at Paige and he was already looking at me. I could tell the same thought was running through our minds. She remembers.

“Why do I know your name! Tell me who you are! Or get out!” Goosebumps appeared on my arms as a dark and heavy energy creeped its way through the room. It felt warm. I could see it seeping out of Hannah as her anger grew. I looked at Paige and he was pale and sweating.

Desperately he pleaded, “Wait! Please hear me out. I’m here for you. I’m here to-” “Here to kill me.” Her voice was dead cold. I was worried now. I needed to do something but what could I do? If I reveal myself and she recognized me there was no telling if that would make things better or worse.

“What? No! I just-” Hannah threw a pillow and Paige took it right in the face. “Get out! NOW!” Paige gave me a pleading looking as he clutched the pillow like a shield between him and Hannah. I gestured with my hands something that said “What do want me to do? I’m trying to not be known!”

 Trying again Paige pleaded, “Look, look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you-” Hannah wasn’t listening though. She instead was seconds away from pressing the emergency button on the side of her bed. Paige noticed and clicked his fingers. A blast of air covered the room just as her hand slammed on the frozen button. A shiver went down my spine. The air was noticeable cooler than it had been a moment before. It did not mix well with the heavy heat of Hannah’s rage creating an almost humid feeling to the room.

Hannah hit the button several times, but it wouldn’t move. Grunting in frustration, her eyes zoomed around the room and stopped as they met the window. The birds were there only they were still, frozen in flight. She snapped her head to Paige making him raise his hands in surrender.  

“What did you do!” she yelled. Paige was backing away now, the energy was crawling toward Paige and I had no idea what to do. “You were going to call for help and I panicked, I’m sorry! I here to-”

The dark energy blasted in all directions in the room. I raised my hand to block the blast. BOOM. I felt small thuds hit my back as the window behind me exploded. Hannah screamed in surprised. I held in a curse as I looked back and saw half the window now across the floor as glittery shards. Looking back at Hannah her eyes were wide and scared. She can still do magic? Oh fuck.

“Hannah…” The girl snapped her head at Paige. She was still shaking but now more out of fear and bewilderment than anger.

“You did that.” “No-” “Yes you did! You are here to kill me. I can feel it in here.” She pointed to her chest. “It’s my time, right? That’s why you’re here right! I can feel it. Every day I’m worse and no one knows how to make me better!” Tears were glittering her cheeks. Her fists were shaking, and her jaws was strained.  

“But I won’t just die without a fight.”  Gripping her scissors, in a flash she threw the blanket off her, stormed off the bed and headed straight for Paige. Reacting on instinct I grabbed the girl around her waist, stopping her in her tracks. Let’s be honest here, I doubt she could do much to hurt Paige, but she was angry, confused, armed, and just exploded a window so I was not underestimating her right now. 

“Stop it!” She yelled at Paige, unaware that holding her back was not his doing but mine.

I gave Paige a look that’s said, “Do something!” as she fought against my grip. I was carful not to breath on her but considering her mind set she didn’t noticed it was a person holding her back and not magic.

She was wild. I ducked just in time to avoid an elbow to the face.  I couldn’t even calmer down if I tried. I needed to look in her eyes for that. But she was still sick so deeper breathes were soon following her fighting.  Paige was clutching his sword as he looked at me with wide eyes. The heavy energy of the room was trying desperately to reach him, but he forced it awake with a flick of his hand. I could physically see the clockwork crank in his mind. He ran his hand through his hair quickly before unsheathed his sword, raised it above his head and slowly got down to one knee before Hannah.

I almost gasped but held it back. There were only a few beings in this world Paige kneeled too, one of them was me, and the others were being greater than the both of us combined. He really is serious about making amends…

Keeping his head down he pleaded, “Hannah, I promise you I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.”

“Help! Help me how? By ending me!” Still fighting to get free she laughed at the idea. “I know what’s wrong with you! Why you’re sick all!” Hannah stilled in my arms. I could feel her anger cool just the slightest. She stared at him for a long time before she finally asked, “You do?” Paige slowly nodded. “You’re lying! No doctor can figure it out, so how is it you know what’s wrong with me?”

“Because I know more than any doctor will ever know. I know every illness, every poison on this planet and the next. That’s why I’m here, I…” He looked up at Hannah. “I know how to heal you.”

Hannah was still shaking but was leaning more against me now. The longer she stood in my arms the more she seemed to rely on me to stand. The warm heavy energy recoiled toward her as it died down. She was sweating and tired but trying her hardest to not show her weakness to Paige.

“I don’t trust you! I just look at you and I… you can’t only be here to heal me, can you? I know you’re here because I’m dying. I can feel it, but…that’s not the only reason why I go so angry is it? There’s something else behind that anger.” She placed a hand on her chest. Gently he answered, “You’re right. While most people don’t like me and react to my presence in all sorts of ways, you are the first on instinct to be filled with a…justified rage.”

Hannah stared at him as she caught her breathe.  “So, you are who I think you are then.” “Maybe. I am, well, a lot of things.” Hannah narrowed her eyes. “Then explain it.” Paige slowly stood. “I will. I promise. But first I need you to listen to a story of mine.”  

There was a silent pause that echoed through the room. Paige opened his mouth to say more but Hannah beat him to it.

“A story? Why would I want that!” “Because I promise you the story will explain everything I am. It will explain the true reason behind your anger, why you are dying, and most importantly how you can heal. Please. Just give me one chance.” Hannah was silent. I noticed her head turning a bit as she looked at the birds again. Their frozen state was unchanged. She looked back at him.

“I still don’t trust you. The worst part is I feel like…like I know you.”

“I promise to explain everything. You deserve it.” Hannah gave a reluctant sighed.  

“Fine. But you have to promise not to do anything weird.” She gestured to herself, the frozen birds and exploded window. “Well technically I didn’t destroy the wind-” “Secondly I get to keep your sword until you’re done.” Without much hesitation Paige agreed and offered her his hand.

I finally let go of her and took silent steps away from the two of them, watching them intently. Hannah hesitated, eying him carefully before gripping his hand. Small streams of light danced as they encircled their hands. Hannah watched with eyes wide open.

“I thought I told you not to do anything weird!” “Don’t worry, it’s just magic. These lights will make sure I keep my promises.” Hannah pulled her hand away once they died down.  

“What’s magic?”

Paige relaxed just the slightest at the sound of her calmer voice. He sheathed the blade, untied some strings and offered the sword, scabbard and all to Hannah. As she took it and slowly backed up into her bed, Paige answered her question in the most annoying way possible.

“How do you not know what magic is?” Hannah narrowed her eyes. Paige rubbed the back of his neck and apologized.  

“Whatever, I get it. Magic is the source of your weird shit. Now, will this take long?” Paige took a moment to think. “Probably.” Hannah did not look pleased by that answer. Placing Paige’s sword in her lap she gripped the hilt. Paige cleared his throat as I made my way closer to Hannah’s side.

“You know there once was a time when all humans in the world could do the ‘weird shit’ all the time.” Hannah raised her eyebrow in disbelief. “It’s true. The Earth is full of all kinds of chapters filled with all kinds of people. In one chapter the humans wielded magic like it was an extension of their own bodies. And in another their magic was stripped away from them. My favorite I think is the story of how humans go their magic back.”

“That’s great. How does any of this help me?” Ignoring her question Paige absent minded said to himself. “I think I’ll start with Bruno.” Confused Hannah asked, “Bruno? Who is that?” Paige smiled under his mask making his eyes brighten a bit.

“He was a young man. He lived when the old countries use to separate the world. I don’t know a lot of his story, but I do know he was… there.” Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Where is there?” Paige clasped his hands together. His eyes were cloudy like he was lost in his thoughts. He looked at me, his light eyes swirling with white energy as he answered “He was there when the planet broke apart. He was there when the humans, their ancient countries and kingdoms finally fell to pieces.    

[ain-t-bovvered]

14x10 Commentary

Zeta and Giuls scream together, and then die.

Me & Zeta will watch together season 14′s episodes as they come out and we’ll do our commentary while watching.

1 2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9

14x10 Nihilism 

-I did not want to see Jack like that again thanks

Zeta: true

- And there was a need for some wings there honestly .

[ comes back crawling]

HERE

Zeta:  the bar sceeeene

-.....THAT’S A DAMN SQUIRREL WITH A AVIATOR CAP ON ( also I re wrote squirrel four times before getting it right) 

- MOOSE!!! 

-......The Moose has a tag with “FAMILY BUSINESS” written on it----lol Jensen

Zeta: What’s her name

- PAMELAAAAAAAA . Damn woman I went a bit Bi there

Zeta: OH YES.

- [Music: and I’m searching for a rainbow] .....WOW

-[on the counter] Daphne loves Fred.

 my monkey dirty brain: Daddy loves tips. 

-hot. want that.

Zeta: the tequila or the bartender?

Bitch please . both.

- D: “ What are we, savages?”

Zeta: Oh the lips

-Cosmic Cowboy. *chokes*

-FB

-why is it always a ghoul case?

-Lol but who’s the drunk guy tho

Zeta: Bitch, look at her biceps

- some Bi slippage there too I see. FOCUS

Zeta: also indeed. Who is he?

-D:”I’ve never had anything this nice”

Also....I would be like Dean if I had a bar. One for the costumer and one for me! woohoo .

- D: “How come you always have a boyfriend?”

  P: “How come you always want what you can’t have?”

[looks into the camera like in the office]

- D: “This is my dream” 

I kinda see it tho....old grumpy Dean Winchester being the Bobby while running a bar like that. Yes....I like it.

- I knew it . I wanna see someone closed behind that “closet” *wink wink*

Zeta: Oh oh

Zeta: the slo mo.

-NICE .You are welcome for this gif where I let you enjoy the full over the count jump. Nice healthy middle age man over the fence jump ( nevermind this is an italian oil ad ).

-The blood. So cute

Zeta: I’m famous

- mmm

Zeta: shit

-Hello M boi, I missed you fam

Zeta: Changed clothes

- OMFG are you saying that the Archangel Michael macVanity von DramaQueen really just angel mojo changed into his Peaky Blinder wanna be in front of them?

He’s so flamboyant , I love him .

Zeta: The close up

- M making three men kneel with so much as lift his hands.  WHAT A MOOD. WHERE CAN I GET THAT? I WANT 10.

- M : “ I saw everything”  Yeah no shit we kinda see that coming too

-DoN ‘T IntERrUPt mE 

Zeta: Don’t interrupt me

-I’m-

I’m so bothered right now. Dom Michael for the win

-OH WOW

- Sam just “assbutted” Michael lol.

Castiel : Sam....did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?

Sam: uh ....No?

- HE ANGRY

- Dean’s not home right now...

Zeta: Please leave a message

*giggling* I love him

Zeta: His voice GOD DAMN

-yes

- Castiel hair tho.

Zeta: Do you? Cocky much

-but needs to play it cool. Can’t risk to mess up the pomaded hair.

- S:” We the angel cuffs on , Michael is under control”

 M: “Keep telling yourself that “  ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

I *clap* LOVE *clap* HIM *clap*

- S: “Dump him in the trunk of the Impala” ... DUMP HIM .ahahahahaah

-Garth is in the trunk

Zeta: it’s a big trunk

-M: “ It’s a party!”

- J: “ It’s not like any of us can fly”

 M : “ Well one of us can”

 S: “ STFU”

- J:” Sam, are we gonna die here?” ... wow Jack...babe...stfu

-Yes OMG I forgot about the stalky reaper

Zeta: You mess up so many things

- it ain’t wrong

- [in john Mulaney’s Trump voice] we locked Death away and enslaved the reapers

Zeta: Poor Cas

- ok but WHO....death? Michael is asking himself that too.

-Yes , put him in the dungeon. HOT

Zeta: shit

-I can hear you

Zeta: Shit

-Ahahahahahaahah

Zeta: SHIT

-I’m loving this

Zeta: Bring back Crowley.

Zeta: We left Garth in the trunk looool

- that....everytime we don’t see a character for long that’s it...they are in the trunk.

Zeta: Castiel

-CASTIEL . so strange, I love him, he’s such a sarcastic asshole.

- M: “Yes, uh, put a chair against the door”

Zeta: This pretty smile as I rip you apart

-I’M SHAKING. YAS.

Zeta: Control yourself

- S: “Cass this is all we’ve got”

Zeta: Again?

- well it is a loop.

-MORE SHOTS.  (me)

Zeta: The only thing missing is “heat of the moment”

- what if the woman is his conscience trying to get him out and if he sign he’s out? ...like....testing his resolution?

-Little insulting

Zeta: you’re nothing

Zeta: Why is he so perfect in this?

- J: “Dean---is strong”

  M *disgusted face*: “ Is a gnat “ . WOW

-OH SHUT UP OOOOH

Zeta: Emotional abuse.

- M: “ he was not happy, but he didn’t care-- Cause you are not Sam, you are not Cass.” 

[ me looking smiling to the Castiel/Misha hateclub]

-M: “You are a weak helpless thing”

- Jack , babe ....get away tho 

Zeta: LISTEN TO YOUR DAD

- M: “no I’m not and I can still hear you”

Zeta: Prick

- Love that prick..... literally 

- I care so little for the others I swear

- M: “Look at you, play nursemaind for a nephilim”

-C: “You are confusing loyalty and compassion for weakness”

Zeta: Damn what am I watching?

- [looks into the camera like in the office] Sexual tension

Zeta: so done. this. Close up

- M “and now...that I’m in here, I know why” 

-CHUCK

Zeta: He churn our draft after draft

- M speaks like he’s singing and mocking you at the same time. He has this musicality in his speak and I love it

- C: “Why would he do that?”

 M: “BECAUSE HE DOESN’T CARE!”

- good lord I swear all the angels are just brats throwing temper tantrum because they have a trash dad.

- M: “But now , I just want to burn every one of his little worlds until I catch up to the Old man”

Zeta: Even god can die.

- oh ok....overachiever much

Zeta: Hurt Jack

- No no Jack babe...keep your fucking soul .

Zeta: Cool science project

- Michael’s mind: if you mess up my perfectly combed hair Cass I swear-

- M: “ I give it a solid B- .....uh oooh”

 me nervously: .....wtf lol 

- M: *snorts* Oh Cass, I believe in you.

So rude...so nasty 

- j: “ What should I do?”

Zeta: Pray

-Thanks Cas, that’s-......that’s great

Zeta: You are all mine

- ..... YESSIR TAKE ME

Zeta: Dean’s mind.

- ..... if it was a funny episode they could have made so many jokes about being empty lol.

- me looking around haters mind ^

Zeta: This is what you are gonna become

-omg

- THAT WAS DEAN IN HELL.

- Dean’ “NOOOO “ at Castiel death is vibrating into my bones.

- S: “Dean is strong”

- C: “Sam, we’ve been through a lot and Dean is more than strong”

- S: “Dean thrive on trauma.” 

WE’VE BEEN KNEW

Zeta: Smart moose

- Somebody has been reading some meta tumblr posts

- P: “You really know how to talk to a lady don’t you?”

 me already at Castiel’s feet : wha

- That’s us fans watching 14 seasons of supernatural ^

-Bloody Cass is 100. *licks lips*

- P: “get me a shot. With your braaaain”

Zeta: Well hello.

- C:” That was- that....DeAN ThAt WaS An ACcidENT”

Zeta: Babyyyy

- them baby faces

- C:” WE NEED YOU TO COME BACK”

- S:”POUGHKEEPSIE”

- Dean’s mind : [ old modem sounds]

-M [Slow clap it out.] : Hey Fellas

-AND THE HAT IS BACK

Zeta: I’m you

Zeta: He gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH I’M DYING SO BAD.

-BITCH I’M DEAD AND GIGGLING I CAN’T.

-but also....but the fuck is Mary at?... like wow.

- also....everything that Micheal is saying right now is causing me actual fucking pain.

- Ok and both Sam and Cas faces? well thanks

Zeta: He’s buying time

-WOW. Slow smile, oooooH

-S: “So in here, you are all talk”

- oh that’s why he doesn’t use his powers. Serviceable .

Zeta: So happy. Fuck

Zeta: Prove it

- Um...yes hello 911? 

Michael getting his hands dirty is too hot for me.

-Fucking Tiger man.

-Come on baby 

Zeta: Jack will do something “stupid”

- Well he is his parents’ son *shrug*

Zeta: that

- D:” Then we don’t kick him out, we keep him in”

-oooooh M goes in the closet, lol

Zeta: Oh my god.

- ....Well that was stupid AHAHAHAAH 

- I can’t stop laughing .

- M [ROAR] 

  me: ....

Zeta: I’m the cage.

-HE IS THE CAGE. That doesn’t seem right tho...come on.

Zeta: So now Dean has Michael locked up

-ooooh the magic hurt him. Forgot about that. My baby.

Zeta: Concerned Dad.

- The way Cass say : “you understand?” killed me....so soft...so worried...

- The little smile! Kill me now.

Zeta: He’s not ok.

-Dean is not ok.

Zeta: [henley alert]

-He’s like....naked. ( still has another tshirt under it tho)

-Oh he’s mad 

- I’M CRYING . HE LOOKS LIKE MY CAT WHEN I REFUSE TO LET HIM OUT .

amazing.

( Sorry for the not that clear gifs but I wanted to cut and past all the bits of that because it’s amazing)

Zeta: He’s suffering so much.

-That troat

- That door is not that sturdy tho

Zeta: Oh hell no

- oh hello death . 

-Aw hell naw.

- Death :” Except one”

-AW HELL NAW

Zeta: Which one?

- UGH

Zeta: No

-NO

Zeta: NOOO so much hurt

-OH FUCK

Zeta: Actual literal pain in my chest

YA KNOW WHAT?....I DON’T LIKE THAT LOOK .

NOT ONE BIT.

.

- lol I don’t even wanna look at tumblr now

Zeta: well you know me....I have

- of course you did

post gifs comment: I didn’t do my crack gifs for now, but they will be done in a separate post.

.

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged in the future ones send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @supernatural-teamfreewillpage  @destiel-honeypie   @mariekoukie6661   @dragontamerm    @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat   @bunnybaby121115  @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc

[candicereeves]

(( To many to tag so just gonna tag Main: @centralcitysfinest-rp ))

Standing in the Science Lab of the Waverider, Candice debated on what music to put on while she worked. Just as she was about to ask Gideon for some music, a screen near by flicked to life. Looking over at the screen she immediately recognized the man looking at her.

"Gary, to what do I owe the pleasure? I thought our usual D&D game was postponed for this week, or did I miss it? Time gets confusing." Candice said.

"No this isn't about that Candice. At least not this time around. Besides you threw off the whole campaign last session." Gary commented.

"Huh.. almost like when you sent the Legends off in 1980 London." Candice quipped back. Gary adjusted how glasses and gave an awkward chough.

"Right, well anyway I actually called for a reason. Some coincidence that I happen to call you alone in the science lab right?" He said.

"Little creepy when you put it that way." She said watching him. "You do know that if you're creeping up behind me I have no problem torching your ass right?" Candice said.

"I'm not on the Waverider, at least not yet. See the thing is, we actually need you here at the Time Bureau. See we've noticed the Legends have become rather... Well crowded..." Gary said.

"Still not liking where this is going Gary." Candice said as she watched him. Though she did have to admit, he was a bit right, the Legends were crowded on the Waverider.

"Well the thing is in order to help build bridges between the Legends and the Time Bureau, some of you will be working here, present day Central City. You'll be paid, and of course given normal hours. Sort of a nine to five kind of job." He said with a smile as he explained.

"That sounds so corporate. You do know that I like the Waverider for a lot of reasons." She retorted as she grabbed a nearby piece of tech to work on.

"Candice, we're inviting you to help the Time Bureau with tech." Gary said. Looking over she gave a small curious glance.

"Go on." She commented as she watched him.

"We've noticed the stuff you've made. That pistol alone is closer to Rip's pistol than anything our techs could come up with. Plus our time couriers could use some upgrades. You'll get to take them apart." Gary said.

"Fisrt off the Tesla Pistol is a divergent of Rip's pistol, second you're going to allow me to take apart a time courier so I can upgrade them?" She asked.

"Among building weapons and tech. You'll also be responsible for keeping track of the time map. Might of been thanks to a certain dm explaining how well you kept track of events in our D&D game." Gary boasted.

"Really Gary? You used our D&D game to help convince Ava into giving me access to all of that?" Candice asked.

"Possibly." He replied. Letting out a sigh she looked around the lab. "You still want to stay I know. Candice we need you here. Please help the Time Bureau, your our only hope." Gary said.

"You're not gonna Princesses Leia me. I'm not your Obi-Wan." She said with a sigh. "Look if I'm going to join the Time Bureau, there are a lot of things I need." Candice said.

"A list of demands? Candice I can't promise you will get what you want." Gary said. "I mean if it were up to me I would probably say yes." He added.

"That's cause you're a push over Gary. They aren't demands, you already won me over with the time courier. This is a list of things I need in order to work, and possibly to help whoever else is on my team. Wait who is on the team besides me?" Candice asked as she got sidetracked from her own train of thought.

"Well... Let's see, Rip Hunter will be the leader naturally, You as the team technician, Leo Rivera and Leo Snart as the Field Agents, and someone named Terry McGinnis as a Field Agent and History Consultant." Gary explained.

Candice let out a soft giggle at the fact that the team had two Leos. "Ah yes Team Leo, where you don't know who is who." She joked.

"Candice this is a serious list." Gary said as Candice laughed a bit. "Fia! Focus please!" He said trying to get her to focus.

"I'm sorry Gary, but you have to admit Leo and Leo on the same team is so stupid and funny." She said. Gary let out a sigh as Candice calmed down a bit.

"You had a list of demands you were going to make." Gary said. Candice rolled her eyes as she looked back at the screen.

"Not demands, requests. I need my own lab to work in. Not a small crammed room, I need space to work on multiple projects at once." She explained.

"I think that will get approved, I mean that just seems like a no brainier, but you do know that we won't be able to give you anything to big." Gary said.

"Yeah I know, still nice to have room to spread out. Also this is more for the team than just me, we need a meeting room, something kind of like the study on the Waverider, actually it might be better if I just worked up a floor plan." Candice said.

"This is starting to sound like its own building Candice. Pretty sure we can't get that approved." Gary said.

"Trust me it won't be as bad as you're thinking. Just wait til you see the floor plan. In any case, I am going to need to be allowed to play music while I work. Nothing worse than being bored while working on a project." She said with a groan.

"I'll run it by Director Sharp." Gary said. "Is that all?" He asked.

"Let's see, meeting room, personal science lab, kitchen, library, relaxation room, bathrooms, ability to play music, I think that about covers it." Candice said. "I will miss Gideon though, and the others...." She added with a sigh.

"We can see if there is a way for you to keep in contact with Gideon and the others Candice. If you draft up a floor plan I will see what I can do about making it a reality." Gary said.

"I guess I should pack up my room. Well what little stuff I have here on the Waverider." She commented. Letting out a sigh she looked back at the screen. Candice could feel her heart sink a bit, she loved the Waverider and the adventure that came with it.

"I uh... I guess we'll contact you... At the very least I have your number from when we started playing D&D together." Gary said. Candice gave him a nod before the screen turned off.

Looking around, Candice grabbed a few of her items before heading off to her shared room with Zari. Peeking her head in, she didn't see the other woman. "Guess that makes this easier." She said to herself.

Walking away Candice got Gideon to make her a box to store her stuff in. Packing up what little she had, few extra clothes, couple of books, as well as some tech she had built in the science lab, she set off to leave the Waverider.

"Guess this is bye for now Gideon." Candice said as she stood at the cargo door.

"For now Ms. Reeves, but I am sure we will talk again soon." Gideon replied.

"I know, but some dumb science lab at the Time Bureau is nothing like the Waverider. I just... I don't know felt more at home here." Candice said.

"I know Ms. Reeves." Gideon said. Giving the frame of the doorway a light punch tap, she looked up at the com.

"Guess I will see you around Gideon." Candice said as the Cargo door open. Turning away, Candice left the Waverider. As she walked away, she gave one last glance before watching the ship vanish into thin air as the stealth plates hid the ship from sight.

Giving it a moment of thought, Candice didn't want to head home cause she didn't want to potentially wake Charlie, and heading to S.T.A.R. Labs would be kind of creepy without Cisco being around.

Digging into her pocket she pulled out her breeching device. Pressing the button a portal opened and she jumped through. There was no harm in heading home for a small bit, besides at this moment, Candice kind of wanted to be around her parents.

Jumping through the portal she landed in the near identical spot on her Earth. Taking a deep breath, she looked around to make sure no one had seen her. "Now to head home." She said as she pocketed the breeching device.

Walking into her parents house, she closed the door quietly. Setting the box of stuff down as she walked in, she noticed some lights on. "Hello?" She called out.

"Candice? What are you doing home?" A female voice called from the kitchen. Candice walked in and gave her mom a small smile. "Sweetie, you were just here not to long ago, aren't the Legends going to be upset with you for taking so many vacations?" Her mother asked.

"Yeah this is just for a little while, not a full vacation like last time. Where's dad?" Candice asked as she took a seat at the kitchen table.

"He's working late, but he should be home soon. So. What is wrong dear? The girl you like reject you?" Candice's mom asked.

"Mom!" Candice said like a teenager that was embarrassed. "I just.. I'd rather not talk about that right this moment." Candice said.

"Oh sweetie, come here let me give you a hug." Her mom said as she walked around to hug Candice.

"Ah gross! Mom hugs!" Candice joked as she hugged her mom.

"So what is wrong. Something is up I know it. If it isn't the girl, then it's your new team." Her mom said as she walked over to the fridge.

"Yeah. I'm going to be on a new new team. Still the Legends, but working for this group called The Time Bureau." Candice explained.

"Yet you're not happy with the job are you?" Her mom asked. "Aren't they the ones that trapped you in London?" Her mom asked. Candice gave a nod of confirmation. "So why are you working for them instead of being on the ship?" Her mom asked.

"It's a new way to alleviate the crowdedness of the Waverider as well as build bridges with the Time Bureau. I get to be head tech girl for the team, and helping outfit the Bureau with new stuff." Candice explained.

"I get to do a lot of cool stuff for the bureau. I get to take apart some of their closely guarded tech to help improve it and I get my own lab which is nice since I've always been sharing it with someone. However the Waverider afforded me visits to the unknown and being stuck in the present is going to be boring." Candice said.

"It sounds like a more stable job though. One that would afford you more time with that woman you were telling me about last time." Her mom said with a small smile.

"I know and I can go back to volunteering at the hospital for the kids, I missed that while zooming around on the Waverider." Candice said.

The front door opened and a small sound of someone almost tripping came from the main hall. "Lonnie! Why is there a box of crap in the hallway?" A man's voice called out.

"Ted! That isn't a box of crap, that is Candice's stuff." Her mom called back. Though she did give Candice a parental glare at leaving stuff in the hallway.

"Sorry Dad! I thought you were home when I set that stuff down." Candice called out.

"What are you doing home?" He called out as he closed the door.

"Just needed a place for the night. I'll be back on Earth-1 in the morning." Candice called out. "Here let me come move my stuff before you trip again." Candice said as she got up from the table.

Heading into the hallway, she smiled as she saw her dad. Wrapping her arms around him, it was clear that she caught him off guard. The man gave a soft chuckle before hugging her back.

"Everything okay Candice? This is twice in what? A few weeks?" He asked as Candice pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah, but like I said I'm heading back in the morning, just needed a place to stay for the night, and all my Earth-1 places were just not where I needed to be for tonight." She explained as she grabbed her box of stuff.

"Alright pumpkin, what happened?" He asked her.

"Just got transferred from adventure to a lab. That's all. Mom knows more gonna go put this in my room." Candice said as she headed upstairs.

"Wash up while you're up there! Dinner will be ready in a bit." Her mom called out as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Ugh! The worst!" Candice jokingly called back. Reaching her room, she placed the box on her bed before heading to clean up. She didn't really need to eat, but Candice wasn't going to pass up her mom's cooking.

Heading back downstairs she smiled at her parents. "I'd say I'm starving, but I don't lie." Candice joked. Her mom rolled her eyes a bit.

"Doesn't stop you from eating." Her dad joked.

"Look even a nuclear reactor needs fuel and mom does cook some really good food." Candice said.

Her mom slid a plate in front of Candice with a smile. "I caught your dad up on everything." Her mom said.

"So... I have to ask, what is so bad about the Time Bureau?" Her dad asked.

"Well one they have hated the Legends for a while, even getting us stuck in 1980 London for a short time. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm going to go join the Time Bureau branch, but I'm going to miss being able to zip around time." Candice explained.

"You know you didn't used to need time travel to have adventures Candice." Her mom said.

"Yeah well that is cause I worked with the Flash, got kicked off the team, help stop Reverse Flash, sealed up the world ending breech, came back and helped stop Godspeed." Candice explained. "Even then between vanishing and showing back up I was in a new Earth and learning new things." She added.

"Sweetie, you can always learn new things from a stable job like the one at the Time Bureau." Her mom said.

"I know Mom, it's just... I don't know saving time was fun and different. It was learning more about Earth-1 from actual history instead of reading about it in books." Candice said.

"What's wrong with book?" Her dad interjected.

"Nothing dad. It's just what is better, reading history written by the winner of an event, or living through that event in real time?" She asked.

"Fair point, but still I'm sure there is plenty for you to learn from in books." Her dad said.

"I know dad, just I'm going to miss it is all." Candice said.

"There feels like more you're not telling us." Her mom said.

"The Waverider, and the Legends felt like home away from home. We we're all a bunch of people who didn't fit anywhere and oddly enough fit together like a big weird family." Candice explained.

"And you feel like you're loosing that family by being at the Bureau." Her mom commented.

"Yeah.. a bit.. plus the ship has an A.I. named Gideon and I'm going to miss having her around. I asked the Time Bureau if there would be a way for me to keep in contact with Gideon, but stuff has to be approved and what not so I gave them a list of requests." Candice said.

"Please don't tell me you demanded stuff just cause you hate the group." Her mom said with a sigh.

"Mom! I said requests not demands. I plan on working there I just need some things in order to be efficient, my own space to work of stuff hence my own lab to build and tinker with and the ability to play music while I work." Candice said.

"Music can distract you Candice." Her mom said with a sigh. "Don't expect them to hand over that kind of stuff, they are going to have to justify allowing you that kind of freedom. If it comes down to it they might find someone else." Her mom explained.

"Mom, they need me the Legends can make due, Zari is really good at tech for the Waverider, but I built the Tesla gun after getting a glance of Rip's pistol and my speed force knowledge of how to throw lightning. That kind of engineering skills is not something they are just going to avoid just because I asked for some music and my own space to work." Candice said.

"I hope you're right sweetie, I'd hate for you to not get that job." Her mom said. The rest of the meal, they talked about mindless stuff, how things were since she was last there a week ago.

Once they were finished eating, her dad headed off to bed while Candice stayed and helped her mom clean the dishes. "Candice, are you sure you're alright with the job change?" Her mom asked.

"I mean we've already talked about this, I'm having to leave my family for some corporate job." Candice said. Her mom gave a small chuckle at her.

"It's not going to be a corporate job like you say it is dear. If they truly want you to be the head technician of this new team, it sounds like they hold you in high regards. I know another man that wanted to hire you for a corporate job as well." Her mom commented.

"Yeah, but Wells was impressed by my frozen spiders." Candice said with a smile.

"Please don't remind me of those. Do you know how many times I nearly put them in one of my drinks." Her mom said. "And do not get me started on that pet scorpion you had." She added.

"Look you guys bought me the scorpion, not my fault dad got spooked as smashed him with a hammer." Candice said.

"You left him out of his cage. Of course your father freaked out." Her mom said.

"I know, I just left him for a few seconds so I could go to the bathroom. I didn't really he would of traveled so far." She said. "Though I do have to say I was rather impressed by the scream dad let out." Candice said with an amused smile.

"You're dad couldn't speak for a week cause he damaged his vocal cords." Her mom pointed out.

"I know, and I helped be his voice at work that week remember, you guys pulled me out of school so I could help him." Candice said.

"You know, your dad and I worry about you." Her mom said as she dried off her hands.

"I know Mom, I'm okay I promise. I'm still working on the Multiverse phone thing, that way we can stay in contact more often, but it's been challenging getting it to work. Needs more tests and stuff." Candice explained.

Her mom smiled at her and handed over the hand towel. Candice took them and dried off her hands. "Go get some sleep, you have somewhere to be in the morning." Her mom said.

"Mom..." Candice said with a pouting lip. Her mom stared her down and Candice smiled at her. Wrapping her arms around her mom she let out a content sigh. "I love you." She said before heading up to bed.

Her mom smiled at her and returned the words before heading to bed herself. In the morning, Candice grabbed her box of stuff and headed downstairs. She said her goodbyes to her parents before heading out to find a hidden place to breech.

Jumping through the portal, Candice was once more met with the sounds of Earth-1. Letting out a sigh, she headed home to her place, at least long enough to set down the box of stuff. She couldn't lug that around all day.

[seungmin-jpeg]

so i hit 1k followers today omg I’m still in shock tbh. i’ve only had this blog up and running for about 4 months now, not even that long, but it’s been the best few months of my life honestly. i’ve met some of the most amazing people, and have been constantly surronded by fun, high spirited, amazing friends. Along with that i’ve got to know 9 amazing and talented people who never fail to make my smile when im down. When i made this blog i didn’t really know what to expect, but i was welcomed right away and was quickly accepted by all the other fans, faster than any other fanbase i’ve ever been apart of. I just want to take some time to highlight some of the people who’ve made my day’s happy and always bring a smile to my face :) if i miss anyone i’m sorry, im so bad at these lol 

Regardless of whether i tagged you or not, thank you all so much for following me and putting up with me <3

✨- my beautiful mutuals that i love with all my heart and you have a special message under the cut! 🌱- i love your blog so much and i hope we can talk more that is, if we havent talked already! ☁️- we don’t talk that much, maybe never, but i love your blog and hope one day we can talk even more!!!

@mydarlingfelix 🌱// @straykiddosmom 🌱// @straykids01 🌱// @adorehyunjin 🌱 // @seungchanie ✨ // @changbeanie ✨ // @deathbywoojin ☁️// @strayboys ✨// @goddamngyu 🌱// @straycuties 🌱// @kimseungminns ✨// @pooh-bear-woojin 🌱// @versekiller ✨// @strayykiddos ✨// @arqueritefrost 🌱// @etherealstraykids 🌱// @nctcry ☁️// @stk0t9 ☁️// @yafelix ☁️// @leedontknow🌱 // @hey-hey-chan 🌱// @straybin✨// @chxngbinnie ☁️// @ohmyspearb 🌱// @just-pig ☁️// @heavenly-freckles 🌱// @fandumbscribbling ✨// @strayedtoofar 🌱// @s0ftminho ☁️// @felixflowers ☁️// @kiribunny ☁️// @likemates ☁️// @strgaykids ☁️// @junspurplehair ☁️// @hear-the-dokidoki 🌱// @hobi-stole-my-heart ✨// @astraykidsdaydream ✨// @felixfrecklesjpg ✨// @minhomygod ☁️// @officialchangbin 🌱// @maaatryoshka 🌱// @awoojinstan 🌱// @sechangbin ☁️// @chang-put-me-in-the-bin ☁️// @felixthekoala 🌱// @woojinshairwasblue ☁️// @realstraykids 🌱

this looks kinda messy but oh well

@seungchanie - vale, ah one of my most treasured skz mutuals <3<3 you were the one who kept me in the fandom when i first joined, the person who made me realize what an amazing fanbase this was and who always make me so happy whenever i see anything from you, whether its a message or one of your cute drawings. thank you for being one of the first to welcome me into the wonderful world of stray kids!!!

@changbeanie - Ruby, wow where do i even start. i cant even remember how i found your blog, but it was pretty much love at first sight lmao. you’re writing blows my mind its so amazing, and you always inspire me to keep up with my writing too! i was going through a rough patch with my writing over on my main blog, but seeing all your work, and how many nice anons you got and everything made me want to keep going with everything. on top of that you’re literally the sweetest person on the whole planet and actually deserve every single star in the sky omg

@strayboys - hi phoebe you mean the actual sun? honestly the most friendly and welcoming person i’ve ever met my whole freakin life. not to mention funny and like all around perfect? i’ve got so much to say i dont even know where to start haha. but seriously both you and your whole blog make me so happy who even needs the sun anymore cause you’ve got that covered. the fandom wouldnt be the same without you!

@kimseungminns - Joyce! we haven’t talked in a little bit but still, i’m so thankful i was about met you and talk about everything we have so far!! thanks again for offering to read over my drafts lol, for someone who runs a writing blog i struggle with all the little things like spelling and man are you a life saver lol. you’re one of my first stray kids mutuals and will always have a special little place in my heart lol

@versekiller - J! my smol bean lol tbh we haven’t talked that much like directly but you’ve been around since i first made this blog back when you were doublekn0t lol you’re a solid predebut buddy lol. when i first found you and your blog i was like “wOw DaRk” but now i know you’re actually just a ball of sunshine haha. your blog is beautiful. you’re beautiful. and your writing is beautiful. lets talk more okay lol <3 

@strayykiddos - Elisa! first off thanks for talking with me when that dumb fox gave me a heart attack lmaooooo thanks for dropping by and messaging me like you did because honestly that was such a blessing and now i have a wonderful friend like you omg. your icon honestly gives me life and i love how easy it is to talk with you!!! i’m really looking forward to all the conversations we can have in the future! 

@fandumbscribbling - Kriti! we started talking because of woojin not getting enough screentime and then ended up talking non-stop and honestly it’s been the best! I’m excited that we both get to experience college at the same time. Who knows, maybe i can make a little trip up to where you are for college and then we can scream about stray kids in person lollllll

@hobi-stole-my-heart - Della, oh man first off thanks a thousand for helping me with all the pj au stuff haha. It’s been amazing to get to know you, and to have a fellow writer who feels the same way about a lot of the same things! also thank you for always screaming about things with me because boy did a scream a lot today hahah rip

@astraykidsdaydream - Kaitlin!!! first off your mobile theme color is everything and it makes me so happy lol. thanks for messaging me like you did, i’m a shy bean haha. you were one of the first people that i messaged when our boys finally debuted. even when the showcase happened i talked with you the most about it all. i hope we can keep talking and get to know each other even better!!!! <3 

@felixfrecklesjpg & @straybin - my admins T_T Ulfah and K, i’d seriously be lost without you two. thank you so much for helping me run the network - i promise i’ll actually get it totally up and running and start planning things soon so we can actually start really doing things lol. thank you so much for joining me and working with me!!! i can’t wait until the ball really starts to get rolling, i think we’re going to have a lot of fun in the future!! 

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

Been messing around with this blogs format and organization a bit along with a side blog, sorry I haven't been active in looking at other people's work lately. My brains a bit all over the place and once again I'm losing time and having no clue where the days go or the hours. I've been working on getting on a bit of a routine and forcing myself to do things actively rather than just doing what I can to stay awake. Moving stuff has been put on a hold as my step mom has covid and my dad will likely catch it (I was told her symptoms were mild, I've got my fingers crossed that it won't get worse. They're both vaccinated, so they should be fine.) But organizing the first load and making room is a longer process than I was hoping for. Anyway thats a life update, I'm going to post some art and ramble about the possibilities they present below

Edit: its around a week later because I got too tired to finish writing the post rip

So I was organizing and I didn't see this page posted but that could be because I either didn't tag it properly or I didn't post it for a reason I don't remember anymore. I also didn't see Susan's charecter introduction post but I swore I posted that one so im going to dig a bit deeper. Anyway I'm going to go over each charecter a tiny bit. They all have their names by them but if you can't read them ill be going left to right starting from the top.

Sue: Susan is a scrubs oc that is doctor coxs daughter he doesn't know he has. They end up working together at sacrad heart and drama begins. Her story is a wip that can be read on my works on ao3 (linked on the stories page)

Ella: Ella Cox is another scrubs oc whose story hasn't been written down at all. She's doctor Cox's little sister. After *insert some kind of fresh trauma* she comes to live with perry, Jordan, and jack.

Rizza: Rizza is my first scrubs oc whose story was lost for years until I found it on my tablet some months ago. However her story is technically a wip, but its not posted publicly because its first chapter was never finished and the plot is lost in the recesses of my mind. Also the characterization was so bad it made me laugh multiple times. Very glad I found that draft x3

Lisa Moore: charecter design that i drew ages ago that doesn't have any developed story connections. She gives me massive fairy vibes so perhaps she could be a bitchy fairy in the mayvis universe? I'm also considering for the first time as I type that she could make a nice charecter design for a orginal wip that is in the very early stages of drafting.

Percilla Weasley: pretty sure I was wondering what Morgan and Hepatica kid could look like and came up with her, I think she's cute. I consider that she's part of the epilog to the happy ending of morgans canon story.

Zora: MCU oc that is Loki's twin and whose story is on ao3 and all I remember was its very....... part of me wants to say edgy or melodramatic, but I'm pretty sure at the time of writing the second chapter I was in a very dark depression and spiraling further down, so it feels dismissive to use those words that have a negative connotation. But it's very unrealistic and probably horribly OOC. As well as dark.

Jeremy: charecter design made because I missed 2p England's strawberry blonde hair but wanted my own charecter with it. He can honestly fit in any of my stories with how blank a slate he is. My brain gets anxious wealthy kid vibes.

[anythingbutmyname00]

Spierfeld- Alternate Meeting

what if Simon immediately found Blue’s second note and they started texting? What if Bram forgets to put his phone on silent before lunch?

*Will be posted on AO3 as soon as I get my account fixed up* 

Simon had no intention of wearing the shirt to school.

First of all, his wardrobe of blank T-shirts and hoodies suddenly including band tees might throw a few people for a loop. He’s not self-absorbed enough to think people actually care that much about his style where they’d notice a change, but if he knows one thing it’s that Leah would notice. And if Leah notices, Leah makes a comment, and then Nick and Abby notice, and then it spirals.

Second, He doesn’t know if that’s too desperate on his part or coming off too strong towards Blue. Even Simon knows wearing it to school the very next day would be extremely pathetic. The best he can do is email a thank you for now. Also, who knows if that would freak Blue out? I mean, it was a gift, a shirt, and yes, shirts are supposed to be worn, but is the very next day a sign where Blue would be totally freaked out? Like Woah, Simon is obsessed with me freak out?

Third, he wanted this to be a gift that was just for him. He knows that’s stupid; of course the gift is just for him, but it’s like the emails. No one else needs to know about it. It’s between him and Blue.

So, yeah. Simon had no intention of wearing it to school. But that doesn’t mean he’s not going to wear it at all. He got home from play rehearsal--- an extra hour every night, now that the show is less than two weeks away--- and slumped his way through all of his work while heating up whatever his mom made for dinner. By the time he finished everything he had to do, it was close to 11:30, but nothing could’ve stopped him from trying that shirt on.

He’d never felt this sort of need before. It’s not a need like a crush-on-someone need where its just an aching. Or a need where its an I-want-that need where you forget you’re supposed to breathe when thinking of whatever it is. It’s a new need, one that doesn’t have a name yet. To him, it just feels like an unstoppable force. This isn’t physics though, there is no immovable object. There’s just his hands, complying as he removes the shirt from the bag, standing in front of the bathroom mirror waiting to try it on.

He holds it up first and just admires it. And then he admires how much Blue must know him to get him the most perfect shirt. Simons’ not even thinking about the fact that it was Elliott Smith--- an A+ right there in his book--- but the fact that it was just the kind of fan merch he’d wear. There is fan merch that goes way over the top, like, who would ever wear that over the top. There’s also fan merch that is more casual but just feels wrong; like the lyric they chose is weird or the design is off. Simon would browse the internet for hours looking at potential band tees he would wear if he felt like he had the right and confidence to. And, of course, Blue got him the most perfect shirt. It’s simple and not flashy. Muted colors. Comfortable fit. He’s too distracted thinking about how this boy must know him so deeply that he stands there for five minutes without even putting it on.

When he finally felt ready to try it on, Simon slipped his hand through the bottom of the shirt, but about halfway up, he felt something too thick and scratchy to be a tag. Frantically, he lifts the shirt to eye-level and sees a second piece of blue-ish-green construction paper.

In his effort to remove the paper, he’s so excited he almost rips it. His hands shake so much as he holds it up he almost can’t read it.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, he begins to read the note.

P.S. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it. I love your perpetual bed head. I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to. And I love your moon-gray eyes. So if you think I’m not attracted to you Simon, you’re crazy.

And then, underneath it, a phone number.

Blue gave me his phone number. He actually gave it to me.

7 million thoughts buz through Simons head at once. Is blue waiting for him to text him? Did he pressure Blue into giving the number to him? Should he text him now or wait? What does this mean?

And then: I can text him a thanks instead of emailing one.

Rushing back to his room without even trying the shirt on, Simon begins drafting texts to Blue.

Simon: Hey, It’s me Simon. Thanks for the shirt.

Simon: Hey, It’s Simon. I love the shirt.

Simon: It’s me, Simon. I cannot believe you got me a freaking Elliott Smith shirt AND gave me your number!

He went with the last one and collapsed on his bed to scream into a pillow, fitfully. Life is a Ferris Wheel indeed. He thought he’d ruined everything they had, and then Blue turns around and gives him his phone number.

He waits up for another fifteen minutes, but decides he can’t possibly keep his eyes open any longer. He knew there was a good chance Blue would already be asleep anyway.

The next morning, he wakes up to no new text messages. He checks his phone every five minutes anyway, despite the fact that his volume is up all the way. Yeah, so he’s that pathetic.

No new texts during his morning routine, during breakfast, during the drive to school. Nothing; it’s killing him. He knew Blue had to have a reason for giving him his number. He wouldn't do it if he had no intent of answering. Maybe he just needs some time to comprehend that this is happening. Simon would give him all the time in the world if he knew it meant in the end he would get to see Blue in person and kiss him and his perfectly grammatical lips.

It would just mean he needed more patience. He could do patience; sometimes. He just needed to relax.

Walking into the school, he headed towards his locker. The hustle and bustle of the hallways was so obnoxiously loud that he almost didn’t hear his phone go off.

Almost

But of course he heard it.

Simon reached so quickly into the pocket of his sweatshirt to grab his phone and whip it out, that he accidentally threw it into the person at the locker he happened to be passing.

Gasping, Simon looked towards the direction of where he flung his phone and his eyes met those of cute Bram.

“Hey, I’m so sorry man. I’m a bit of a mess this morning my bad.”

Bram looked at me from his position at his locker, hands cradling my phone where he caught it on reflex. His eyes softened when he saw it was Simon he was now forced into a conversation with, which he guesses for him was better than if some stranger had been the person to accidentally throw their phone at him. He really does seem to have a small problem with the quiet thing. Simon could see his shoulders relax a little from reflex tension and social interaction pressure.

It’s only occurring to me now how little he know about him despite the fact that he’s played soccer with one of his best friends for years and they sat at the same lunch table all school year long thus far.

Bram reaches out and hands him back his phone, smirking slightly, in the way cute Bram often does at the lunch table when Garrett says something stupid or Nick makes a fool of himself in front of Abby. “Must be something good on there.” He says, obviously making a casual play at my excitement which caused this interaction in the first place.

Simon takes the phone. “Huh. I guess so.” He holds the phone up and does that smile nod thing to say thank you and continues on his way down the hall. Once he turns the corner and gets to his locker, he opens it and take out his phone behind the locker door. Sure enough, there it is. A reply.

Blue: So, I’m guessing you liked it?

Perfect grammar and punctuation, even in text. Anyone like Nick or Leah doing that and Simon would’ve ripped them apart for being a huge nerd. But, suddenly Blue does it and he just finds it incredible hot. Figures.

Simon: Are you kidding me?? Best gift I’ve ever received. Easily top 10.

And the rest of his morning continues just like that. Simon patiently waiting to feel his phone vibrate against his leg while also trying his best to remain invested in class. There are more weird breaks between texts but he’s not dense enough to not be able to apply that to the fact they’re in school.

The conversation continues naturally, the way it would in their emails. Simon is so blissfully happy that he finally has Blues number that he doesn't even care when two of his teachers have to remind him that phones are prohibited in school.

He’s antsy all day waiting to be able to pull out his phone and respond to Blue’s texts, but it really reaches its height during lunch.  

For one, he keeps his phone on the table instead of in his pocket. This way, when it lights up he can see it and doesn’t have to pull it out. He knows he’s being pathetic, he’s just too giddy to care.

“What is up with you?” Abby questions from directly across from him, snapping him out of his eager daydream. “All you can do is glance at that phone. What’s on it, something juicy I hope.”

“Ha Ha.” Simon deadpans. “As if. It’s nothing” he says, moving his plastic fork around the pasta salad on his plate. As far as school lunches go, it’s definitely not bad. But that still doesn’t make him feel inclined to eat it.

“She’s right, Si.” Leah says from next to me. “I’ve never seen you so invested in the thing.” Leah makes a face that, to someone like Abby who she’s only known for a few months, would seem like she pleasantly agrees, but to me, seems like she would like anything else in the world than to agree, but she does.

“Oh, whatever, I’m not invested, see?” Simon says as he tucks his phone back into his sweatshirt middle pocket, trying all too hard to seem casually like he doesn’t care at all that he has to put it away.

“He was so excited over it this morning he practically assaulted me with it.” Everyone looks up at the fact that Bram was the one who next put into the conversation. It’s not like he never speaks, he does; it’s just usually he does in small sentences or phrases, and mostly when Nick or Garrett are involved. So when Bram speaks up in a conversation mainly featuring me, Abby, and Leah, it pretty much made the entire table want to join rather than just spectate.

Cute Bram, tried acting like the sudden attention wasn’t getting to him, but Simon could see that his jaw was a little tense, as if he’d clenched it slightly, waiting for someone to say something.

“Buddy, come on. If BRAM joined the conversation to say so, then something’s up with you and the phone.” Nick claims from his spot next to Bram, where he gripped him on the shoulders and slightly shook him when mentioned his name.

Bram blushed a little and released a small pointed laugh. The blush looked really good on him, coloring his tanned cheeks. Simon himself, felt his face get a little hot and he mumbled another “yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever” before returning once again to his pasta salad.

The rest of his day blurs by. He almost doesn't survive the entirety of play practice without being able to check his phone, which Abby notices and fondly teases him about. At home, he texts Blue in between working and eating and everything else. He was smiling at his phone below the table so often during dinner he was too distracted to hear his mothers’ “would you like to be excused, Simon?” and responded with a meek “hmm?”

Wednesday went mostly the same. It was so much nicer texting Blue continuously rather than having to wait for wifi to answer an email.

This time, he gets to lunch and he's careful to not make it obvious that he’s waiting on his phone.

After five minutes of half-heartedly listening to Nick and Garrett complain about the new soccer drills their coach is running while Bram enthusiastically nods at their points and occasionally adds his own two cents, Simon can’t help it and pulls out his phone.

He sees a response from Blue. He hadn’t felt his phone go off, it must have been while he was walking back to the table or something.  

Blue: I see you haven’t taken Mr. Wise’s advice about those sentence fragments.

Laughing slightly to himself, forgetting his surroundings, He types a reply.

Simon: I thought you loved my sentence fragments! Is there someone else with more adorable sentence fragments? You can tell me, it’s okay. I can handle it.

He bites back his smile, trying to seem like he was just casually checking his phone, looking at the time, texting his mom.

And then something happens.

He presses send on his reply, just as his phone is going back in his pocket, looks up, and a phone goes off somewhere in close proximity.

No one else even flinched at the noise, instead the guys at his table continued their stimulating soccer conversation which Abby listened in on, and Leah spoke in hushed tones to Morgan and Anna.

He looked around but couldn’t see anyone visibly looking down at their phones; not near enough to matter anyway.

Taking advantage of the sudden invisibility at his table, Simon pulled out his phone to perform an experiment.

Simon: what changed your mind into giving me your number, btw?

Simon made sure that he was looking up and alert when he pressed send this time.

Once again, somewhere nearby, a phone went off, same as before. It had to be at one of the tables surrounding his. The first time could’ve been dismissed as a coincidence, but both times? Simon wasn’t superstitious enough to believe it could’ve happened twice.

As he’s about to start casually staring down the occupants of every table surrounding his trying to scout out the source of the phone, he notices cute Bram excuse himself from Nick and Garrett, who barely acknowledge his leaving, and head towards the door. As he does so, he reaches into this back pocket and pulls out his phone.

There’s no way, he thinks. There’s no way Blue is cute Bram. The same Bram who’s been at his lunch table right in front of him the whole time. He thinks about what he knows.

He thought he knew Bram liked Leah based on the other day, but Simon realizes he failed to see that Garrett was also present in the conversation it could easily have been him crushing on Leah.

He knows…...he knows nothing. He knows Bram is quiet, quiet can relate to Blue’s shyness.

He also knows Bram is really smart. He need only remember the paper Mr. Wise accidentally gave him of Brams. Good at english means grammatical.

He doesn’t know about his religion, but he knows he doesn’t have Blue eyes that’s something right?

Bram. wait. Bram.  

“Garrett.” Simon says. “Garrett!” A little louder.

He gets his attention. Garrett looks slightly inconvenienced at his conversation about the price of his new cleats being paused but he answers anyway. “What, Spier?”

“What is Bram short for?”

“What?” Garrett responds at first. “Abraham. Why?”

Abraham.

Abraham Lincoln.

Simon doesn’t answer. He gets up as casually as he can manage and tries not to trip over his shoelaces as he walks maybe a little too quickly to the doors of the cafeteria.

Bram. It has to be Bram. How could he never have seen it?

Pushing the doors out of the cafeteria open, he glances down the hallway to the left and right. To his left, leaning against a random locker, facing the opposite direction, is Bram.

Even though Simon cannot see the front of him, he can see that Bram is hunched a little, leaning over something. It has to be his phone.

He decides to try something. He takes out his phone and turns the ringer on, putting it up on full volume, and waits. He walks out of the doorway so that he’s about 10 feet behind Bram facing him, holding his phone.

And then, it happens.

He sees Bram stand up straight again, and, just after he does, Simon’s phone goes off. Loud.

They’re the only two people in the hallway which makes it echo off of the lockers. He knows Bram heard it. He saw his shoulders slightly tense when he heard the noise.

Slowly, Bram turns around, and his eyes meet Simons.

They’re wide and unblinking. He doesn’t seem as if he knows what to do, and, honestly, neither does Simon. He’s been waiting for months to meet Blue, and now that he has, he doesn’t know what he should be doing or saying.

Instead, Simon looks down at his phone, at Brams text.

Blue: No one else has sentence fragments as cute as yours, I promise. I don't know exactly. I was dead set against not giving it to you, but then in school I saw you smile at one of your friends and I suddenly changed my mind. ;)

Simon sees that Bram still hasn’t moved from his spot, so he texts him.

Simon: Bram?

He looks up as the phone in the hands of the boy he loves goes off once again, a few feet down the hallway.

Bram also looks down when his phone goes off, another loud echo through the hallway.

Right afterward Simon begins walking forward towards Bram, but as he gets close enough to be in arm distance, Bram puts his arm on Simons elbow and ushers him into the classroom closest to them, which happens to be unoccupied.

Inside Simon walks forward and runs a hand through his hair as Bram quietly shuts the door.

Simons turns to face him, one hand still in his hair, the other one by his side. Bram stands there, his hands in front of him one tightly gripping the other, his face unsure of what exactly to say. But he speaks anyway. “Simon I-”

But Simon doesn’t want to talk. Simon just found the boy he’s been in love with for months. After so much bullshit and secrecy and Martin fucking Addison, Simon’s done talking. He surges forward and places his hands on Bram’s cheeks and kisses him.

He feels all the tension melt out of Bram as his arms wrap around Simons waist. The kiss is short. It only lasts about 3 seconds, and it's not enough. But right now, Simon would take anything.

He pulls back and looks at Brams face, his hands still on his cheeks and brams arms still hugging his middle.

“I can’t believe you sat at my lunch table all fucking year and I didn’t know.”

Bram laughs and removes his arms from Simon. Simon takes the hint and takes a step back, his hands back to his own sides.

Now it's Bram’s turn to nervously run his hand through his hair. He looks down and bites his lip just a little. Simon wants to kiss him again.

“I guess I feel kind of stupid now for not giving you my number sooner.” He says and looks back up at Simon.

“No, you had every right to wait. I shouldn’t have pressured you the way I did anyway.”

“No, Si, man come on you didn’t do anything wrong.” He reaches across to grab Simon’s hand “If I could’ve predicted that kiss I definitely would’ve given it to you sooner.”

Simon smiles at him. “Oh yeah?” He says, taking a step closer.

“Mhmm” Bram says, him this time being the one to kiss Simon. This one lasts no longer than the last as Bram pulls away again and says “but we should probably go back to lunch.”

Reluctantly, the two stagger their return to the lunch room, Bram first, saying he went to the bathroom, and then Simon a minute later.

Simon walks back in and sits down, focusing too hard on his seat and tray as to not stare pointedly at Bram on the other side of the table and a seat down.

“And where’d you go, weirdo?” Says Abby who tilts her head in a youre-still-acting-super-odd sort of way.  

“Wait,” Leah says, “let me guess...to find service!” Nudging his arm with her unused plastic knife.

“Something like that yeah.” Simons says smirking a little. He deals with his friends friendly prodding about his new phone obsession for the rest of the period and laughs at all the right moments, though his head is somewhere else. Somewhere across the table and a seat or two down.

The rest of the night goes something like the last. His phone constantly going off and Simon constantly smiling ear to ear at it. The next morning too. All of it relatively familiar.

And then he gets to lunch. He sits in his usual seat. The end of the table right next to Leah, across from Abby and then Nick and finally, Bram. He says hi to everyone as he sits and throws a hidden smirk towards Bram who returns one.

He takes out his phone and reads the text that's been waiting for him.

Bram: I thought you should know that Garrett has been asking me all year why I suddenly get even quieter at lunch despite the fact that it's him and Nick.

Simon: WAIT. You mean I’M one of the cute guys who makes you all nervous?

Simon cant help but smile at his phone, not knowing that he’s caught the attention of about half the table since he’d sat down. He looks up, still trying to bite the smile off his lips, and then sees Abby, Leah, and Garrett all looking at him with an amused sort of expression. Nick is too invested in his mac and cheese. That helps the smile go away pretty quickly.

“What!” he defends. Glancing around at all of his friends individually.

“Okay” Abby begins saying. ”I MUST know who you’re texting. Come on Simon.” She has a determined look on her face that says she’s joking enough to be kind about it, but she’ll do everything she can to find out who it is.

“It’s none of your business actually, so I think I’ll just send my text, put my phone away, and change the topic of conversation.” Simon says, smirking right back at her, his phone now visible above the table which before he’d used as a shield to type. He uses one arm to hold Leah directly where she is next to him, while they all laugh at her trying her best to see around him at his phone. Chuckling, he uses his other hand to send his text to Bram.

He just hadn’t even considered the fact that maybe he should wait, maybe Bram forgot to turn his phone on vibrate. Maybe he should’ve played the phone thing off again.

But of course he didn’t do that.

And of course Brams phone went off at a loud enough volume for the entire lunch table to hear, causing Leah to stop fighting against Simons arm, Abby to stop laughing, and even Nick to look up from his food. Even Garrett stopped what he was doing to open his mouth at the boy sitting next to him.

Bram had paused in the middle of opening his water bottle. Suddenly, as if someone had pressed play on a remote, he continued opening the water bottle and stared straight ahead while he drank some, trying to act like no one just heard his phone go off from his pocket.

“Bram” you could hear the smile in Abby's voice as she said it. “Was that YOUR phone that went off after Simon sent his text?”

Simon could do nothing but watch as he felt the color rush into his cheeks. He watched the event unfold, unable to say anything.

“No” Bram responded too quickly, his voice an octave higher than usual. He began to play it off. He cleared his throat and tried again. “No, definitely not.”

Two more seconds passed, and then the entire table erupted.

Garrett was smacking Bram on the arm and saying “way to go Greenfeld holy shit!” while Bram laughed and played into it.

Leah and Abby are firing questions at Simon like its nothing. How did this happen? How long had he been texting him? But seriously how did this happen?

Nick was glancing back and forth between both of them going “nowaynowaynowaynoway.”

Simon didn’t care though. He laughed as Garrett and his friends got the most out of this sudden discovery, and in the midst of all the craziness, he met Brams eye, and his smile got impossibly wider. Bram smiled right back as he swatted Garretts arm away again, and the whole rest of day couldn’t have done anything else to make him happier than that smile made him.

Simon was good.

thanks for reading!!! hope you enjoyed!! message me with comments or anything!! I will gladly take requests for more fics if I can work with them!!

-Emma :)

[gontagokuhara]

“hey connor, what the hell is happening with jump?

+aka, for those of you looking for answers.

fair warning this is a very long story, and it isn't a very nice one. for the sake of not being a huge asshole, i'll refrain from mentioning the other party by name/url/ao3 handle/whatever, because i'd rather not send the dogs after this person like they were for me.

and to those of you who have been following me since mid-to-late august (around when this whole thing started) (and, coincidentally, when jump became the most popular fic in the dear evan hansen tag on ao3, but we'll ignore that little detail), you might know who the other person is in this whole situation. i know most of my friends do, and for my friends and otherwise please don't go after this person. don't reblog with their name or fic title or whatever, because the point of this post is to serve as an explanation for why jump is going down, not start a manhunt for this other person.

i digress.

around mid-august, i began receiving comments and a few asks regarding a chapter of jump (28, to be specific). in essence, they were saying that i had "ripped off" a certain plot point of a certain fic, which. to be honest i didn't think a whole lot of? because the messages i received didn't say anything about what i had ripped off, just that i had done it.

it came to a point where i messaged the author of this other fic and briefly explained the situation, and made my case. i got a response sometime the next day and it wasn't one i was hoping for.

which, of course, i've accepted that at this point - people think i did plagiarize. the author of the other work thinks that i did. i know that i didn't, but i need to acknowledge and accept that a lot of people think i did.

what i didn't accept was the "term" i was given - to put a note on the chapter in question crediting this author for the "original idea."

which, you know, was offensive to me - because jump had always been my idea. despite what was being said, i knew that i hadn't read the sections of the other fic that i was accused of stealing, before i had published my own chapter. so i couldn't have taken the idea, if that makes sense?

i didn't respond to the other author's message, and that was wrong of me. i know that that was shitty of me to not offer a response, and there isn't really an excuse for that? but it happened, and it was shitty, but.

for the most part, things quieted down for a bit when i posted chapter 29, and i rather naively assumed that things had permanently gone quiet. i'd made an incredibly long statement in the end notes of the chapter, and i said that if anyone wanted to say anything further they could feel free to pm me, because it was counterproductive to yell arguments at each other through my inbox. funnily enough, no one took that offer and messaged me, but i can't say i'm surprised. without the shield of anon, people tend to not disagree so violently.

after 30 got posted, however, things sort of exploded.

immediately people took it upon themselves to leave nasty comments and asks in my inbox, which hurt but at this point i had come to expect it from the whole situation.

sometime after that, the callout was posted.

which, of course, made me freak the fuck out.

what was worse was that i found it on accident; someone reblogged a post of mine with something nasty and i was confused so i checked their blog, and. well.

it had the title of my fic all over it, it was in the main tags, and i knew immediately when asks started piling up that none of them were going to be good. and they weren't. i haven't gotten death threats a whole lot, but that day was definitely a peak in me receiving them.

there was.....a lot in the callout, and it took me a good few hours to get myself to a state where i could read it without freaking out again.

this was early on in the post, where i was accused of shot for shot rewriting sections of a certain chapter of this other fic, when, again, i hadn't read it until chapter 28 was posted and chapter 30 was long since drafted and in the process of being written, but. (the bit of the sentence that is cut off reads "however, as the author of [fic], chapters 28 and 30 read like-")

note how no proof of this is provided, or anything beyond the chapter numbers.

this next bit is from the pm i received from them, and it's interesting in how it reflects the author's...i dont know how to describe it. i suppose arrogance is the best word i can find? for them to insinuate that their work is so well known enough that even if people haven't read it, they'd know about it.

(cut off sentence: “at the very least, the final chapters of [fic] are pretty-”)

the same sentiment is reflected here, in the callout.

the callout also points out that there's no indication of where i got the plot for jump, and that's because i made up the plot. the idea to kickstart the story i got from a prompt blog (here, if you're interested) and it states very explicitly in its terms of submission (here) that anyone submitting an idea for a prompt gives full permission to anyone to use it, credit unnecessary.

so that isn't exactly a 'gotcha!' point.

the last bits of the callout talk about me being rude to fans and making vague posts on tumblr, which. no proof provided so i, again, have no idea what they constitute as rude or vague.

it was.....a lot. and i had no idea what to do. i was scared, and i didn't know how to deal with having the fans of some 26 year old coming after me like that. i shut off anon, and i took a break of a day or so from tumblr, and that was pretty much that?

until two weeks ago, when i received this email from archive of our own:

so, things had obviously escalated. things had moved from calling me out publicly, to moving to get my work deleted. it messed me up pretty bad, and for a while i was freaking out.

after a day or so, a few of my close friends (one of which who has had prolonged access to both the jump writing document and the planning document) and i emailed ao3 with our appeals. i don't currently have copies of my friends' appeals, and all that is in mine was essentially what i've said publicly, with a few mentions of previous incidents. after a two week wait period as they reviewed my appeal, i received this email last night:

it strikes me how again, it's said that i shot for shot (or rather, replaced synonyms and the like) took this fic, but then again i'm not given specific instances, and then in the same paragraph it mentions that "whether you intentionally plagiarized or did it subconsciously after reading their fic, you are still responsible for the content." i don't understand how i could have taken scenes one by one and replaced synonyms, but also "subconsciously" plagiarize?

and, better yet, how can i plagiarize something i hadn't read until after the accused chapter was posted?

let me just say that i don't know for certain it was the author that made the complaint, but i would bet a whole lot on that possibility. even if it wasn't them who made the claim, they have to be notified because it involves their work. so.

and that's essentially where we're at now. jump is being deleted on november 10th, one way or another. and i am so, so angry.

i understand wanting to protect one's work. it's the reason i've maintained my innocence, and appealed to ao3. i want to protect my work from accusations i know aren't true.

but to have something i've worked so hard on for nearly seven months ripped from my hands? it's not fair. it's quite honestly bullshit.

this isn't meant to convince any of you one way or another of what happened, because you can all think for yourselves. whether you believe me or not, at this point it doesn't matter, because jump has already been sentenced to its fate.

but i know what i did and didn't do. i wouldn't still be fighting this if i wasn't sure of my innocence.

i'm angry. i'm going to be angry for a long time. this whole situation has made me fucking hate even looking at my writing anymore. what would possess someone to go so far as to get my work deleted, i don't really know.

as the author has stated, no one really "owns" fanfiction. so what gives them the right to take my work away from me? my accomplishments?

i hold no ill will towards the other author, but i hate this situation and i hate what they've done. i hate that there is someone in their mid twenties out there who has taken it upon themselves to take away a 17 year old's passion project.

am i bitter? yes. and i'm not apologetic for it. i didn't plagiarize anyone in regards to jump, plain and simple. no matter what anyone else says, i know the truth, and the people i care about know the truth, and i can't do a thing about anyone else, so it doesn't really matter.

a few friends have asked for me to make jump available by other means, and i'm considering it. because even though the hits and comments will be deleted, as its always been, jump has been for my own enjoyment. for me to tell a story i think needed to be told. and just because it's being cut short doesn't mean it still isn't worth telling.

if i do make it available elsewhere, i'll let people know. but this is where i leave you for now.

like i said in the beginning of this stupidly long post, please don't go off and attack this author. i'm angry, but taking it out on them will do nothing. it will only make things worse. jump is being deleted, and no amount of nastiness will change that. so we may as all just be nice.

if any of you have anymore questions, feel free to message me or send me an ask. anything general or non-specific i'll answer in asks, but if you have anything you'd like clarification on in regards to specifics, please message me privately.

and. um. i guess that's it?

thanks for reading. i’m sorry. i wish they hadn’t taken it this far.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Not Vibing + Nostalgia | Doing the Write Thing #47

Dudes. My writing life has just been so weird lately.

I’m not really vibing with this book right now. I don't know why. Kind of a bummer, but it happens. That’s okay. The important part is, I’ve been writing. Though to put it out there, I’m in an editing + outlining mood. Not a drafting mood. Does anyone else feel that way too sometimes? I mean, editing and outlining are still SO important, but for some reason, my stubborn brain refuses to believe I’m being productive if I’m not writing. Even if I’m outlining a million chapters a day, I still can’t feel content with my productivity. It’s weird. But yeah, anyway. Not vibing with you, FOSTERED #5. Not vibing.

THAT’S OKAY THOUGH.

Don’t know if I’m going to have much time to vibe beyond today and tomorrow because GUESS WHO’S DRIVING FROM TORONTO TO PENNSYLVANIA THURSDAY TO SEE PRECIOUS KID.

(when ur brother took that photo cuz both ur brothers already met the band for u because ur brothers happened to be on tour in California cuz ur brothers happen to be in a band, and also didn't happen to have a show that day so they drove like 2 hours just to meet the band for u and ur sister cuz ur brothers are great even tho like don't tell ur brothers cuz ew brothers.)

(when u made that poster Justine [middle] is holding with ur sister [u did the lettering] and ur brothers got the band to sign copies for u ur sister and ur best friend and they do and r like the sweetest people ever)

(when u find out precious kid is having a show in Pennsylvania and even tho its a 7 hour drive ur brothers and mom decide to take u becuz u have the best family ever)

Also, going to Mexico from next Monday to Friday with the family. So my life looks like this:

Thursday: wake up really early and drive all the way to Pennsylvania. Watch Precious Kid show. Faint.

Also Thursday: drive to grandparents’ house and sleep there.

Friday: drive all the way back home.

Saturday: RELAXXXXX

Sunday: Pack. Also. Don’t panic. You’re going on a plane. But don’t panic.

(this is going to be really hard lol.)

(I’ll try)

(I’ve gone on a plane before no problem)

(Except now I’ve got anxiety (TM))

(rip)

Monday: Get up at like 2AM (so basically just don’t sleep the night before), go to airport, get on plane, go to Mexico.

Rest of the week: Enjoy Mexico fams.

Friday (or whenever we come back I don't know things I just go as things go): hello back home Toronto school starts soon BUT ALSO YOU’RE SEEING SURF CURSE IN LIKE 10 DAYS AND MAYBE GET TO MEET THEM AND ALSO DAUGHTER RELEASES A 13 SONG ALBUM TWO DAYS LATER.

HONESTLY JUST FREAKING LIVE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE LOOK AT ALL THE AWESOME SHIT THAT HAPPENS.

Anyway onto the update.

Daily word count goal: 250

Words written: 789

Total word count: 120 981

Total page count: 219

Songs played: SO I don't think I wrote with music, but I have a couple things to say in regards to music.

Like I mentioned one of my ALL TIME favourite bands (right behind The Strokes, like SO close behind The Strokes sort of) Daughter, is releasing a new album on September 1st. I about died. I talked to @sssoto​ about this after noticing they posted an ominous uncaptioned photo yesterday, and I can’t believe it actually happened.

It’s actually a score to the new Life Is Strange video game, but GUYS. Daughter just released their second album at the very start of 2016, and I don't think anyone was expecting them to release something so huge so soon. I’ve been screaming all day because of this news if you know what I mean. ;)

So punny.

They released one of the songs off the album today called Burn It Down, and I’m just going to leave it here because I'm afraid I’ll just type in all caps like OMG GUYZ ITS SO GOODZ so to avoid embarrassing myself:

The lyrics are absolutely amazing. I adore everything Daughter because Elena writes every lyric with such care and has such amazing word choice. Honestly look at me being a writer commenting on word choice in lyrics. ;) I can’t help it. She’s honestly an amazing lyricist.

Here’s some of my faves from the song:

Always said I was a good kid Always said I had a way with words Never knew I could be speechless Don't know how I'll ever break this

And there’s:

Now the world is only white noise Frequencies that I can't understand

NOW THE WORLD IS ONLY WHITE NOISE LIKE WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT.

(See what I mean. She writes with so much care but it doesn't seem forced. Writing goals. Also so sorry if Igor or Remi or someone else also penned these lyrics as well, lol. I love you too.)

I'll set fire to the whole place I don't even care about our house

!!!!!!!

So I got a little carried away there. Daughter is greatness.

Let’s just get carried away more, shall we?

So Surf Curse released their second album Nothing Yet this year. I’m a chronological music listener, so if I like a band, I have to like them A LOT because I buy every album and listen to them in order. I’m not a single song listener. Like, there are so many single songs I love from other bands but I’m such an awful music listener, I won’t listen to them until I fall in love. Basically, any band I listen to is a favourite band.

(I’m so sorry, I’d love music recs though if you have any. I genuinely do love when people do that. :) I apologize for my weird music habits though. Genuinely don't know what’s up with that, lol.)

My point was, I finally got Nothing Yet. My sister, best friend and I (with my brotherz cuz lol) are going to see them, and obviously they’re going to play songs from this album. I’ll admit, this album doesn't have the classic ‘Surf Curse’ sound, but I’m so down for Nothing Yet.

Nothing Yet is a lot more indie than punk but aaaaahahhahaha guess who’s living for it.

Favourite songs so far (I’ve only listened to it once full through since I just got it but): Falling Apart, All Is Lost, Nostalgia, Sleeping, and Christine F.

This isn’t related at all to my writing session tonight but.

Things to know: I’m not having as much fun as I should be? I’m writing a Lonan Clark Interrogation Scene (TM) [they’ve happened so many times because this boy is such a savage at this point they’re like recurring episodes looooool], but eh. Content is fine, but I’m not vibing. You catch my drift? Did I just say catch my drift.

How I felt: Is it terrible if I say bored. Sorry Lonan. dkm. (This is a me thing. It’s literally a great scene, and I’m just sitting there like yahhhhh no.)

Bad haiku to describe writing session: Boredom is not good / Especially when the scene / Is kinda good yeah

Rating of writing session out of 10 and why: 6.5 because of the above :(

On a scale from 1-10 my level of stoked-ness is: also a 6.5

Lyrics to describe writing session: He wants it easy; he want it relaxed / Said I can do a lot of things, but I can't do that / Two steps forward, then three steps back

--The End Has No End, The Strokes (Room On Fire)

I can promise you I’ve used these lyrics before but honestly me. I want it easyyyyyyyy I want it relaxed said I can do a lot of things but I can’t do thaaaaaaaat.

GIF to describe writing session:

*AND THAT OVER THERE IS RACHEL’S MOTIVATION FLOATING FAR, FAR AWAY!*

Thank you Julian. You always believe in me.

Excerpt:

How about some savage Lonan dialogue.

“I really have to tell you the truth?”

“Unless you want your brain matter to paint a Picasso on the wall behind you, I’d suggest so.”

(lonan is the second person)

(I should make that clear but I don't really need to cuz I have tags before this + context but)

“This could take as little as a half hour if you stick to the facts and stop with your bullshit, but seeming as though doing so is impossible for you, I’ll settle for two hours. Understood?”

honestly is he talking to me in this last one. because this scene could literally take me as little as a half hour if I stuck to the facts and stopped with my bullshit but it seems as though doing so is impossible for me so I’m settling for two.

(We all have off days. It’s okay.)

(It’s funny though because I don’t really have writer’s block. I know exactly what needs to happen but every time I try to write I'm like oh this is torture what are words.)

(This happened yesterday too. When I re-read what I wrote, it was fine, but it’s taking a long time to put together! Which is fine. Honestly, that happens sometimes. :))

So that’s it for the writing update! That’s actually not it though! So before I really started blogging, a few really special people in my life did some really amazingly sweet things for the FOSTERED books (+ I’M DISAPPOINTED), and I wanted to stroll down memory lane and talk about it.

EDIT: So I just took 3 hours to find all of these images. I had to scroll through my Instagram which has over 2000 photos on it... Like sometimes I wish I could go back and tell my 12 year old self that literally no one cares but alas. I’ve blurred all handles etc out because my (and everyone else mentioned here) Instagram is private, sooo that’s exclusive to friends and family.

Without further ado, I bring to you, NOSTALGIA. To preface, these were all from 2014/2015. So no judgements. lol. Excuse how lame I am in these captions. Honestly. Also: I hope this doesn't come across like I’m boasting about things people have done for me as that’s not what I’m intending at all. I just want to share the love and kind of thank the people who did all this stuff for me one more time because honestly, every single thing I received genuinely touched me, and everything I receive now continues to touch me. It makes me really happy thinking about all this stuff, so I thought I’d share the good vibes. :)

1. I’M DISAPPOINTED cast fanart

So @sarahkelsiwrites​ drew these guys for me in 2015. I mean let’s just give a shout out to Ben. (Her art doesn't look like this anymore lol. So sorry Sarah.)

2. My first Twitter banner

Do I need to explain this one.

Also, that ain’t my handle anymore wut kind of.

(i’m now @ rachellwrites)

(but I don't use my twitter for anything besides reblogging precious kid tweets so there’s a warning)

3. Ashley’s Foster comment legacy + Sarah and quinoa

I mean. Sarah’s profile picture was legit an avatar she made of Harrison through an app or something.

4. Fetus Loner angst tho I didn't know he was angsty

It’s almost three years later and The Emotional Loner Chronicles is now running its 12th million season ft melancholy and angst

5. Ashley’s Foster comment legacy lives on

6. Fosever foreverrrrr

Sarah made me this really awesome plastic thing with perler beads to commemorate Fosever (MC + love interest aka foster + reeve) and I can’t get over how cool this thing is... It’s been a while (like a year) since I’ve seen it, but it’s lying around somewhere, and it’s incredibly cool. It actually attaches together. Thanks @sarahkelsiwrites!​

7. @sarahkelsiwrites​‘ early Reeve fanart

sarah’s going to kill me for putting this on here lol. Honestly though at the time I literally freaked. She drew it for me when she was at home sick, and it’s just so thoughtful and adorable lol.

8. Ashley’s cliffolution

@imdisappointed​ (Ashley) is the best best friend I could ask for. Bah.

9. Making paper cranes with Ashley

Ashley was actually the one who helped me make all the paper cranes on the newer edition of the FOSTERED books. She posted this when we were done, and I still can’t stop laughing.

10. I’M DISAPPOINTED love

this is just so sweet, lol. bah.

11. Clifford fanart by Sarah + caption

Sarah drew this portrait of Clifford a very long time ago, but it still remains one of my favourite things ever.

12. Sarah and Lonan clash heads a lot 

Do I need to explain this one other than the fact that @sarahkelsiwrites​ literally calls the FOSTERED books Harrison Palooza.

13. The Harrison Chair

Here’s a really cringy old excerpt from book three that explains why Sarah posted about a chair in a hotel room ignore the literal terrible writing :

“She’s in Texas?” I blurt, turning around on the spinning chair. Harrison stares at me for another second like he’s contemplating some evil plan, walks up to me, lifts me out of the chair, sets me on the bed, then takes a seat in it himself. “Oh yeah…” he mumbles. “So much fucking better…” “Harrison!”   “Jesus, this is so much fucking better…” he moans, rubbing a hand over his face. “What the hell was that for?” I growl, crossing my arms over my chest, cocking an eyebrow up at him. He sighs before deflating completely in the chair, answering me with his eyes closed. “For sitting your fat ass in my chair.” He grumbles, soon demanding Foster go turn on the coffee machine.

I talked to her about this recently, and apparently she still gets mad over this. Oh boy.

14. Lonan and his Quest bars

This is actually my own comment but I’m sharing because this is just too good.

15. I don't even know what’s going on but Harrison.

@sarahkelsiwrites and her pro Harrison edits. I just love the font choice in this.

16. Sarah makes Reeve a birthday cake

This was so cute, and I actually forgot this happened until I found this post again super recently!

17. Cousin retrieves a cup with the word Foster just to show me

This was years ago, but I think it’s just really adorable? I think it’s so sweet that she went out of her way to get it. Honestly. I can’t gush because I’m just eklsblwkanelfkn feelings.

18. Ris cover from the trash

This picture was actually what pushed me to make this post because my cousin and I just talked about this a few days ago! She told me she looked through the trash for weeks to find this thing because it looked like it said RIS and lol honestly I just... That’s so funny and thoughtful and plain adorable cuz I know I wouldn’t search through the trash for Harrison (leave him where he belongssss), but she did and that’s just bahhhh. So thank you Becca. for literally going out of your way to retrieve two pieces of trash with my characters’ names on it because if that isn’t their aesthetic, I don’t know what is.

19. Sarah’s emojis

lol. I cri.

20. Greek god.

I can’t help but laugh so hard every time I see this. HAHAHAHAHA.

So that’s it! I talked about birthday cakes etc, before, so I didn’t include them in this round. But honestly, all of these things mean so much to me... I wish I could project my gratitude a little more eloquently, but I’m so happy these three wonderful people are in my life, and thought of my book and liked it enough to take their own time to make things for it.

Most of this was all a couple years ago, like I mentioned, but I still love all of these things now. Thanks so much for letting me share them with you! I hope you guys enjoyed this post. :) I’ll see you in the next one!

--Rachel