#the parasocial relationship is real but he is acutely aware it is one sided

[yea-baiyi]

nailing my theses to the door: the way hua cheng acts about xie lian is precisely how those carefully non-toxic insane kpop stans behave. like “i love them and support them no matter what” and “let’s respect their boundaries” and “let’s raise a ridiculous amount of money for charity in their name” but also “every inch of my bedroom walls are plastered with their face” and “i spend hours every day getting into arguments online defending them against haters” and “i collected all 700 of their album photocards” and “i have them blocked on twitter so they can’t see my smut fics” and most importantly “if they end up dating someone i’d be devastated, but as long as they’re happy id support them no matter what”

[softly-gazes]

I wrote this on weverse in 2020 when filter became bts's most streamed b-side, and I thought I'd post it here as well for safe-keeping. It's just a little meditation on the song, parasocial relationships and Jimin's celebrity :")

In lieu of Filter becoming the most streamed BTS b-side on Spotify (👏👏👏), I decided to revisit the lyrics, and man, this song is BRUTAL. What a thoughtful, excellently written song. It's SO sardonic, almost to the point of being bitter... In fact, I feel called out by it quite a bit myself. It's intelligent, and fiendishly cutting, which is why I find it funny when people read it as flirty or predominantly sexy, thereby proving the song's point.

Jimin is speaking directly to the listener, telling them that he can be anyone they like him to be, because they ultimately are the one who gets to decide how they choose to see him, regardless of who he actually is behind his public image. He's commenting on the commodification of his persona as bts' Jimin, and how it all serves to feed the dreams of consumers, which is the undeniable nature of celebrity culture.

A parasocial relationship, such as the one between an artist and their fans, can only ever be superficial. There is no deep personal connection, because neither party has met the other, or gotten to know them on a personal level. This doesn't mean that no one benefits emotionally, on the contrary, comfort and temporary happiness are quite within reach for both sides: one gets to fulfil their dream for a living, and the other gets to enjoy what they produce, while fantasising about their personality by projecting their desires and aspirations.

I am particularly guilty of this act, desperately looking for someone to relate to in celebrities, because of how isolated and disenchanted by reality I feel. I project my own queerness onto Jimin, hoping in the back of my mind that he knows how I feel, what it's like to be me, though I know full-well that his identity and private life is none of my business, and I cannot expect such personal things of him. I project onto him because of how aspirational he is as a successful and talented individual. It's a coping mechanism, to deal with how bleak real life can be, and ultimately, the main selling point of the idol industry.

This song knows that no one in the equation is malicious or bad, but it still expresses frustration over how easy it is to dehumanise someone you supposedly admire, simply by not having the opportunity to ever truly know them.

I think Jimin is acutely aware of his position as a fantasy being sold to the masses, interesting and exceptional enough to draw attention, yet inoffensive enough to not push people away. He's regarded as both cute and sexy, the best of both worlds, all while being wildly talented, humble and hard-working, the very picture of perfection.

Even as I write this, I buy into the fantasy by wishing I could ask him about this directly, and get an honest answer from him.

At the end of the day we all know that Jimin is more than how we individually see him, as he is a complex human being with flaws and fantasies of his own. Filter is a tiny little lift of the curtain on his part, letting us know that he knows what our collective relationship with him is doomed to be. And I think it is fantastically astute artistry. Congratulations!!!!!