#the panel start coming and they really dont stop coming

[beannary]

Part 7 of my separated au!!

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I've been sitting on the sketches for these pages for just over a month now lol I wanted to release them so much sooner but I started making the comic more like an actual story with a linear narrative rather than just random moments Ive wanted to draw

so far these have been my favorite pages to draw since I absolutely adore drawing Donnie in full science mode

[nyxi-pixie]

okayyyy ive been meaning to talk about this moment forever because i think the way i see it differs from a lot of general fandom opinion.

for context, this is from the dhc section of the dead apple manga. skk are talking about an executive who just died and dazai makes a joke about it, prompting chuuya to deck him in the face and say nobody could believe dazais human. (believe, very importantly. not that he Isnt, just that its unbelievable).

humanity is a key theme to all of bsd, but its Very explicitly central to the skk dynamic. chuuya is an intensely human character in the way that he acts and thinks, and yet! between his ability and ofc the history in the lab, it still gets called into question.

(its pretty solid that our chuuyas the real one, but thats not the point here. sb being an exploration of what it means to be human and whether Actually Being One is all that important to what you are and do, through a Distinctly human character- Thats the point. How you are being more important than what you are.)

then we have dazai on the other hand, where what he is doesnt come into question at all. Even his ability, despite its name, isnt dehumanising to an outside eye, compared to chuuyas corruption or atsushis tiger for example that can take away from their control of themselves. its the how he is, in contrast to chuuya, that comes into question with dazai. he very consistently holds himself outside of humanity both implicitly (through self isolation - shipping container being an extreme example) and explicitly (dead apple dazai talking about humanity as an Outside Observer. he is Not including himself as one of them).

When we are encouraged to doubt his humanity, its dazai Telling us to. he deliberately poses himself as inhuman because he FEELS it. and the dhc moment to me has always felt like chuuya seeing through it and calling his bullshit. Dazais making light of a death to be a dick, to push chuuyas buttons, but also because hes got this constant need to present the worst possible version of himself.

actually if you look at the panels of him when hes talking about the guy being dead, just before he gets dramatic ridiculous exaggerated dazai about it, he doesnt seem to think of it so lightly

(smthn smthn dazai imposter syndrome. the need to deny any of his more human qualities because he feels they dont Fit him. and the links w his questions to atsushi at the beginning and end, his bs 'do i really seem like the type of guy to do x thing'.)

chuuya says hes acting inhuman, that his humanity isnt something people will believe because of the way he ACTS. and then chuuya does an example of his own Chuuya Humanity Act, an act of service for the people he cares about in the form of going to solve the situation himself. AND. ultimately, dazai ends up planning around this later to lead chuuya straight to him so the two of them can deal with it together.

skk pretty consistently ground eo to humanity. dazai through nullification/corruption, but outside of their abilities too (its the thought of dazai - more specifically, not thinking like him - that stops chuuya from killing N in stormbringer and denying verlaines assertion that he shouldnt have been born). and on the flipside, chuuya is part of the reason dazai doesnt khs during or after fifteen. dazais protecting people thing really starts out with chuuya. and again, chuuya makes it his business to call dazai on his shit. (even right the way back in chapter 31 of the main manga, we have that interaction over Q, with dazai saying he spared them only for self serving logical reasons, and chuuya saying he doesnt buy it).

this to me has always felt like part of that. its not 'youre not human', its 'the way you act makes it unbelievable that you are'. its an invitation to prove he is by doing something Real, something worth more than sleeping there til he dies.

and dazai does.

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut

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i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG

YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME

it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU

like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,

like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.

STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.

like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.

ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot

ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK

and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"

DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh

AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay

it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???

he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...

lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???

and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL

the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT

the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!

some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:

i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional

i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.

see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)

and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.

the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.

yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.

and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.

suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.

the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because

something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.

something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)

and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....

if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {

kyle_betrayal(alicia);

}

this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time

and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE

theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME

apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF

WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB

I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish

the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!

javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH

AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK

ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL

this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.

and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!

anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean

SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep

thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji

[chuuya-kisser]

im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)

(spoilers utc)

firstly.

ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE

well

Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order

1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!

gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover

2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?

OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️

(also he looks so good-)

3- and the biggest bombshell

kunikida.

KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL

just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.

think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.

dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.

i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man

like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY

also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it

im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy

and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)

[mychlapci]

mertwins time? :3c

The two of them slowly opening up and getting more curious and playful is so cute to me. Especially the thing about them slamming their tails against the glass just to say hi ;w; The first time they do that when Prowl walks past, Prowl gets such a shock the noise that he jumps, doorwings shooting up, datapad going flying. The twins think its so funny

They also like to steal stuff like datapads or cleaning equipment so that Prowl has to come get them. They swim around and keep it out of his reach, toying with him, knowing he can't keep up under the water

Eventually, as they get comfortable enough to get physically closer to Prowl, they start poking around his frame. Land mech armour is different in a way, less joints, more exposed cabling. They think its interesting. Prowl squirms and tells them to stop, and initially swats their servos away- but eventually relents when he realises maybe its good to encourage their boldness. The first time he swatted at them they shrank away and he immediately regretted it. So he lets them poke around. He makes it obvious that it annoys him tho. Not that the twins care.

The twins are especially interested in Prowl's doorwings. They behave closely to the fins they are used to, flaring out in aggression and being pulled close to the frame in fear, etc. They like to provoke reactions out of Prowl to see how his little wings move. They think its very cute when the doorwings wiggle. I think they make fun of him too, trying to mimic his little doorwing wiggles with their fins when he does it.

Prowl always sighs heavily and resigns himself to getting his doorwings played with. That's usually something he would never allow- His sensor panels are too sensitive to just let anyone poke around. They're a weakness he will not let others exploit. But these two are different. They're just curious. And mayyybe he has a soft spot for them. Maybe he's not very good at telling them 'no'

The doorwing thing is distracting tho. The panels really are sensitive. Depending on how the twins decide to poke at him, sometimes it tickles, sometimes it feels really nice. Once in a while they will poke or pull too hard and Prowl jerks his doorwing away in pain. The twins do seem to recognise the little pained noises and always pull away, making a little noise that sounds like a whimper, an apology.

Prowl does have to remind himself that the mers dont mean anything by touching his wings. Even when they gently run their talons over the flat of his sensor panels, even when they massage into the tense joints and his wings flutter in response... They dont know what it does to him. And that's okay. He lets them keep going.

After a while, in return, they do let Prowl touch them too. The red mer is a little more eager, the yellow one takes a little longer to let Prowl's servos anywhere near him. But it turns out they both like being touched. Prowl gets to pet them. They seem to like it since they always lay about him and purr their engines when he does. The red one is a little more forward, nudging his helm and sometimes his frame against Prowl's servo until he gets the message. The yellow one likes to pretend he's not interested, but will lay around Prowl anyway until he gets included in the pets.

Prowl is awed to find out how delicate their flowing fins are. They are soft in a way that ripples in the water, usually soft enough that attacks would deflect off them, but also easily torn if caught. Prowl also learns that, when one of the twins accidentally hurts themselves in a friendly scuffle, that the thin mesh of their fins repair quickly. He likes to run his fingers over the soft fins, feeling their almost silky texture under his digits.

One day Prowl gets absolutely no warning as he enters the tank and suddenly gets kissed on the lips. Or he THINKS he gets kissed. He has no idea what happens really. One moment he's getting into the water and the next moment he has one of the mers on him. He squawks in surprise and suddenly he finds the mer's glossa in his mouth.

His optics are wide in panic- Vaguely he notices that he can see red twin off to the side, smiling at him- so the one on him must be the yellow one-

He doesn't have it in him to push away, despite the shock, and is just frozen solid as the mer licks the inside of his intake. The mer's glossa is thorough, pressing against his own glossa, then stroking against the insides of his cheeks, before running over his denta-

Prowl pants. Or he tries to. If he were above water his vents would be throwing out hot air, solvent probably dripping from his intake. But, in the water, all his systems can do is cycle the water through his vents. At least it does a good job of cooling him.

Only after a very thorough lick through his mouth does the mer finally let up. The yellow mer pulls away, servos still on his shoulders, stares at him, cheeks pink with energon, before suddenly darting away.

Prowl is stunned, vents whirring, as he sees the red mer laugh and the take his twin's place, giving Prowl no warning before invading his mouth too.

This one is less intense, in a way. Less thorough. It's a quick lick through his mouth, before the mer pulls off him, grinning. It gently bumps its forehead against his, and then lets him go, swimming around and looking at him then like nothing happened

When Prowl doesn't move, stunned, overheating, the mer tilts its helm at him in question.

What just happened?

YESSSSS we're bringing back mers licking people's mouths!!!! I like that it was Sunny who took his time with it.... he's like a cat. Stubbornly refusing to let Prowl know he appreciates his presence in the tank, but when he shows him affection, it counts.

I imagine it is also a grand act of trust between mers... they're trying to tell Prowl that they finally understand that he won't hurt them. If he meant to hurt them, he would just reject the affections and bite down. That's how this works.

Prowl does not know that that's even an option. Not that he'd consider it if he knew, but he's just overall very confused as to what happened. He's not a mer behaviouralist, he only has special privileges to approach and touch these two specimens because they seem at ease when they are near him, and with everything they've gone through, the staff wants to keep them calm and comfortable. Prowl wouldn't know that mers kiss, let alone know why they do it.

He is confused and weirdly aroused by the action... And probably extremely ashamed of himself for feeling aroused. First they kept charging him up by rubbing his door wings, and they're going to be doing this? How is he supposed to keep his panels closed...

[ender-cloud]

That new update ahshshbsbdhejsjdheha Tgs spoilers under cut

GUYS RACHEL IS CRYING AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO :( MY GIRL, I’ve been begging for a reaction and now i’m sad seeing it.

It’s kind of the expected reaction and it’s an appropriate reaction but i feel so bad for her. I need a Rachel rant pages, i just need her to get her emotions out Holy shittt!!!

Also Jasper???

I wanna know if its like, did he see Rachel upset, or is he like doubting Jekyll? From how the panels are set up I think it’s him being worried about Rachel and I’m hoping we get Rachel ranting next page please please please, I need it so bad

Ok ok, now Lanyons Monologue the actual important part of this page so time to break this down:D

“But in Return, it tears your life Apart” god that’s so well written man, It’s so hard to unpack these things but i find it so interesting how Lanyon went from “Holy shit my boyfriend has been lying to me” to “Is it because of this Rouge science?”

The thing that stood out to me was Lanyon knowing that Jekyll was slipping but seemingly ignoring it because he didn’t want to believe Jekyll was slipping, he didn’t want to see Jekyll as anything except for “perfect” as we’ve seen in the last few pages

“Maybe I wouldve been able to rescue Henry from himself” LANYON I LOVE YOU BUT YOU CAUSE ME SO MUCH PAIN HOLY SHIT

Was part of it Lanyons fault? Sorta???? Like in a way Jekyll made the potion so he could be this perfect person for himself and the society but it’s likely that Lanyon also had a big part in why.

Mind lanyon of course, what Jekyll wanted/inspired to be more like. But, Lanyon is only a factor why, I’m not sure how much he could’ve done for Jekyll, there is probably a way he couldn’t helped more but it’s not like 100% certain that even if he changed some things Jekyll wouldn’t have made the potion

Now it’s time for the, Guys please stop calling Hyde a disease, portion

AGHSHSHAHHEHEHWJW I get why Lanyon says these things, I do, I really do, BUT COME ON MAN, he’s still a human being dude, just a ball chaos. BUT A DEMON???

Like Hyde was still a part of Jekyll that’s now separated and has the ability to form his own thoughts but a demon???? I think Lanyon really needs to accept that Jekyll did this to himself, there wasn’t an outside force, its not a demon, Jekyll made the potion and drank it, studying the affects it might have even before he did it.

It’s just interesting how Lanyon refuses to accept it no matter how much Jekyll has told him about how he made the potion and chose to drink it and Lanyon is still here thinking “It’s a demon, Thats why”

God dude, Hyde hasnt even killed anyone in Tgs too so it’s even more like unreasonable, did he start a fire… yes, but in self defense! The Hyde slander is getting out of hand, :(

[sillyyuserr]

Why the “betrayal” in chapter 108 is so interesting to me (spoilers for chapter 108 + 110)

Another short terukane analysis, if you can even call it that. Posting at midnight again :3

So this section is started when the big clock is stopped, and akane + teru head to no. 1’s boundary to see whats going on. They see hanako frozen, bully him, yadayadayada not important

Very very shortly after they get into the boundary, akane is approached by an owl. More specifically a “messenger”, which we can assume was sent by kako or mirai or some other clock keeper person.

the owl flies up to akane, lands on his arm, and tells him something. This “something” seems to shock akane. Well, less of shock factor more of unwant.

He clearly does not want to comply with what the owl is asking of him/ordering him to do, but again, akane will complain, but when it comes down to it, he’ll do It. He seems somewhat distressed, but when teru is in frame with him his anxious expression disappears and is replaces with that of a content/not particularly happy nor sad nor anything face.

Then we see him start to talk about the clock to teru, and mention something he needs to “ammend”.

Then, this godforsaken panel comes next

Now that you understand whats going on i can break it down. we can generally assume this owl told him “stamp him for the trial” or smthn like that, but why would he be so distressed and uncomfortable with doing this?

He visibly wants to fight back. He really really doesn’t wanna do this. But why? Maybe he doesn’t wanna lose teru’s trust again, maybe he just doesn’t wanna go through with the trial, but no matter what he wants, he goes through with it

if you know teru’s character, like really know his character, you’d know trust is like a big thing for this dude. And he trusts him completely. He trusts him in the place where his supernatural abilities are at their strongest. Akane told him to follow the bird, and he did it without question. Putting his back to him while they walked together, being extremely vulnerable in a place where akane (a supernatural aka his literal born enemy) is at his most powerful

We cant see his face, so we dont know what he’s thinking, but quickly akane steps forward, and hits him with the mallet, and this panel is born

This, along with the next two or three panels have alot so lets break these down even further.

for starters, akane knew teru well enough to know how he would react, and moved his hand (that was guarding his sword) away

And teru’s face is very telling aswell. Ive never seen him make this face before its kinda funny. He looks as if someones just ripped something from him. He knew akane was behind him, but he didnt do this. Who did this to him. Wouldnt akane shout oh i dont know “hey pres watch out” or something?? Whats happening??

he turns and the one thing he was hoping wasn’t true, was true

It WAS him. Teru’s had a record of responding to distressed moments by taking it out on other people via violence, feeling betrayed, he immediately turns to attack akane.

And akane hits him with the “forgive me president.” with the title for added sincerity, showing he really does care

Teru not stopping after akane’s told him to multiples times, akane was forced to put him into an even more vulnerable position, this time, without room for withdrawl

During the trial (chapter 110) alot of people were shitting on teru for not doing anything while akane was being beat up by tsukasa, but dudes in a restraint ofc he cant fucking do anything, he said it himself 😭

Teru has always seen akane as human, and thats i think one of the things akane likes ab him. Even after literally being half supernatural and welding inhuman abilities, he still sees him as human. Snd therefore treats him like one. But this “betrayal” i feel like changed something for him. He refers to his as a “clock keeper” rather than “aoi” or any other name

(looking at him, signifying its directed at him too)

Case and point, teru and akane trust and care for eachother (or at least used to) even if they dont say it :3

i feel like theres more but i cant think of anything. I also don’t even know what point i just made here so if u don’t understand, i dont either ur not alone

[couch-house]

2023 baybeeeee. havent done an art summary in a while since i basically stopped drawing early 2020 and didn't get back on the horse until mid-2022 (i wonder... what could have caused that!) i dont feel like my art has really changed this year, only in the ways that I draw specific sonic characters (looking through my archive is fun bc i can see the progression of the diseases known as Giving Them Big Eyebrows and Drawing The Monoeye) and--more exciting 4 me--my practice with paneling comics! :)

i think the progression is much more noticeably when you line it up with last year's sonic art... i can see all the Milestones.. more talking abt that under the cut

May: couch gets into sonic. June: Yucky Sonic 1.0. this was also the month when i Heard Of fleetway super. July: couch comes back from brazil, having read stc. this is also when i start dong actual short comics. compare may -> june -> july. (also please forgive whatever tf i was doing with skintones. i needed some practice)

august: merger au takes shape. dog invented. also i just really like that speed racer sonic mspaint picture. its fun :) september: deep in the fleet mines. october: i lose a lot of steam and mostly just doodle. another comic comparison for those three months:

november: frontiers comes out. i go crazy mode and make that sonic + knuckles comic with the pretty backgrounds and LOTS OF TINY TEXT. december: winter break AND im tired. january 2023 i come back insane crazy mode and write some fanfiction?? still havent finished that LOL. made some nice cover art :) february: i shift into knuckles mode fora month. make another comic. this one is much better i think :) november -> february

march: i shift into transfem metal sonic mode. also just stick to a lot of doodling. also write more fanfiction. crazy. april: transitory period as i shift back into stc/exit: sonic mode. may: more fanfiction. more comics. i really like how both of these turned out :) while the last two were definitely taking a lot more notes from stc, i think around here i start paying attention to and trying to learn from more creative panelling from artists i admire. like @/superemeralds THOAM and @/starrjoy's pandora au.

june: i play sa2 and it's good. july: i play unleashed and it is both miserable and good. i get in kind of an artistic frustration zone and wiggle my way out. august: idk i think im just chillin. super react dot jpeg happens. it's not even named that, it's named after the other image on the canvas, which was maria holding baby shadow. more comics.

september: i burn out for a bit. get real tired. eventually get back up and make more comics. the goal here and last month has become "try to make more interesting panel shapes. I've noticed other artists don't just use rectangles--try playing with irregular polygons and see where it gets you." well it gets you mixed results as you learn :) also i think after that pause i accept the monoeye into my life. sigh...

october: oc showdown starts and @/neurotypical-sonic asks me to make some halloweeny art :) feels like i dont do much this month bc i focus on those. november: A LOT OF ART?? INSANE. more oc showdown stuff. i play shadow the hedgehog (2005). it's good and i love it. i draw a ton of shit on one canvas for it. Fucking Dember: i have shifted back into stc/EXIT mode. motivation's a little weird bc work's a little weird. doing commissions also makes it weird. well im having fun and being myself :) a final handful of comics from this month:

idk maybe ill do something sicko crazy b4 the end of the year. mayb i'll follow exit sonic's example and #GetWorse. who knows :) well this is fun i love looking at my art and seeing and noticing things. thank u all for your support and I hope we all have a great 2024!

[starryhunbun]

It's midnight and I can't sleep because i have yet again thoughts to share. I just came to think of something unsettling and it's bothering me so much that I just couldn't continue with my life without shari g this with anyone.

I'm German. So when it comes to things that are somehow connected to germany, I’ll know it. And I'll be like "Oh, yeah I know that too, that's funny".

Example: when Wednesday started speaking German (sort of).

I also watch and read blue lock. So when this mf came up:

Micheal fucking Kaiser who speaks german just like we can see in this panel ("auf die Knie"/eng: kneel), I was like oh, yeah makes sense he's playing for one of the most popular and successful football Clubs of Germany. Hell, members of my family are huge Bayern München fans (that's the original name btw, not bastard munchen). So naturally he speaks german. His name is so painfully German too, my old teacher's name was Misses Kaiser so yeah. The only thing more German than this is if his name was Müller.💀

But that's not what this is about.

This is not about the fact that he is German.

This is about the fact that he is from fucking Munich and it just hit me recently when I thought back to my own visit there while going through my pictures. It's beautiful there, really. A regular big city in Germany. Whatever.

WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THEY HAVE A DIALECT!

Just like people from Texas have an accent, people from Munich, the very place the bastard munchen players come from, have an ACCENT. Of course not everyone and all that but still. THIS ACCENT EXISTS AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT AND NOW I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

Because NOW THAT BLUE LOCK SEASON 2 IS ANNOUNCED IM SCARED THAT THEY WILL GIVE KAISER THE MOST DISTURBING BAVARIAN (bayrisch) DIALECT BECAUSE I THINK THIS ACCENT IS SO SILLY.

(no hate to those who have it, it's totally normal. I just dont understand yall😃 I feel like this)

BECAUSE CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS GUY PICKING A FIGHT ISAGI WITH A SILLY DIALECT?

I CAN'T.

For those who cant imagine the impact of this dialect I found a good video to show the difference between standard German and Bavaria dialect. The girl in the white speaks with dialect Btw.

Part 1 || Part 2

[supportanimy]

gonna go on a incoherent ramble cuz i got thoughts again

I hate the character archetype of sweet little girl who has never done anything wrong or even have any even slightly selfish or mean thoughts. like it always rubs me incredibly wrong when it's played straight, idk how to explain it.

Anyways this is why im just not really a fan of how most of canon writes maria and cream, though with cream i did like how she was in rush where she was a bit blunt yet naive as she just offends knuckles and amy to their faces

but with maria, it feels especially wrong because we have never seen her from her own perspective, only others. like, i think they were projecting their idea of maria to be a saint. i feel like there's just something really icky about the other characters seeing her as super pure and good and never for any other parts of her, like they only ever see what she was like to them personally, never what she was like as an actual person, it feels dehumanizing.

i headcanon her to have resentment for her place in life. Being stuck in space, not having too much to do, possibly having to obey many rules just so her condition doesn't worsen or just to stay safe in space. she keeps a smile on just so that others dont get upset. so that gerald doesnt start overworking even more at his age to cure maria. so that shadow doesnt blaming himself for any of her negative emotions. just for others.

also only slightly related but in the panel they said something along the lines of shadow being marias only friend which is not true, the gun commander said she was like a sister to him, unless he actually stopped hanging out with her after shadow left the tube, which might also explain why shadow doesnt seem to remember him, but also theres no way they know enough to come to this conclusion so they're still wrong and wow, im so great for correcting people who were wrong about shadow the hedgehog (2005)! thats totally not weird to care that much about people being casually wrong for things that dont matter at all!

[scourgefrontiers]

hey so. i may be making a really big decision regarding mirrors. and in the end im not taking anyone's opinions into account because it is my story and my characters and i can literally do whatever i want b/c im not getting paid for it.

but like what if i changed all the characters into women LOL

im ngl if i hadnt already come so far in mirrors i would be more matter-of-fact about changing the main characters' genders. i seriously think that if i had started mirrors at the point im at right now, the whole cast would be women instead. at the time i created these ocs i was heavily projecting transmascness/masculinity onto my ocs and thats why theyre all guys. but now im like. damn i wish they were all women actually. nothing changes about their character or personality its just that theyre now women. thats it. because im realizing there is an EXTREME SURPLUS of not just male dragon ball ocs but male characters in media in general? and ive LITERALLY been part of the problem despite always being like "oh i wish there were more women characters :( i wish i could make more women :(" like im realizing i can just Do That. if i want my ocs to be women now i can just Make Them Women. i have that power as the owner of these characters

so im thinkin like. idk man. i could honestly just make a page or even a little panel that says "hey just a heads up theyre all women now" and then from then on i draw them as women LMFAO like i dont even give a fuck anymore

in regards to the ethics of me "genderbending" my ocs which is what this seems like (although i think genderbending is in the realm of an au, whereas this would be Canon Changes. but still), ive decided i dont give a shit anymore <3 i am trans myself and ive stopped really seeing genderbends as inherently problematic and offensive. yeah theres ways and reasons for genderbending that people do that i definitely dont like (namely the "genderbending to sexualize" and "genderbending to make the pairing straight" things) but i think genderbending as a whole is like...fine i guess. like i dont care man

again, in the end this is a decision for Me and what i want for myself and my ocs and story. literally nothing will change except the gender of the characters lol (which WILL include some physical features such as calabris not having a goatee anymore and now a lot of them have bigger boobs i guess). but honestly if u dont like it then feel free to read another comic i guess idk. i'll be disappointed but ur free to do what u want

long post over <3

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 158 spoilers and thoughts but mostly it's just me laughing my ass off and also speculating on what happens, im still working on the novel but ill finish it soon trust <- has like ten billion different things she wants to do at the same time

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ARCOS AND MARBELLA IN THIS PANEL WAS ME FOR MOST IF NOT ALL OF THIS CHAPTER HELPPP LMFAOAOOO

javier you absolute fiend you ,,, you've learned so much,,, /aff

i figured that javier would tell them at least a semi-truth, or something like that to tide over the count/countess,,, their expressions here made me so worried for a moment,,,

LIKE THESE UUAGHGHHGHGHHHH that kind of anticipation is terrifying tbh like "has our son been dead this whole time, have we been living w someone else??" and the imminent grief looming over that thought i think got translated really well here the blank irises and the shadowed face im so ,,,, ueueueueueue

AND THEN TO GET HIT WITH THIS

HELP MEEEE HAHAHAHA BRAZEN JAVIER ROBOFACED JAVIER ITS REAL HES REAL LMFAOAOOOOO

OF ALL THE THINGS JAVIER COULD HAVE DONE TO GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION HE DECIDED TO EMULATE LLOYD I GIGGLED SO BAD I STARTED COUGHING

AND THE FULL COMMITMENT TOO TO THE BIT AND MAKING IT SEEM LIKE HE'S MORE FOULMOUTHED THAN HE LETS ON . AND SINCE JAVIER IS NORMALLY SO DEADPAN IT JUST. WORKS I GUESS HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS CRAZY

insane genuinely fucking insane i couldn't stop laughing HAHAHAHAA like this is completely absurd but the fact that it's coming from javier, someone who the count and countess completely trust at the moment, someone who's been by lloyd's side this whole time,,, PELASE HAHAHFHADHFDHSHAHA

the count and countess reacting too got me giggling a storm HAHA

also also early webtoon lloyd makes an appearance again i think it's really fun that the artist gives him the hairstyle from back then, before they changed his hairstyle heehee

oh his undershirt is also missing that X that's usually there in the current tged style too i didnt notice that at first but another little callback!!!

AND THEN JAVIER FINISHING OFF THE BIT WITH. SEPPUKU??? WHAT THE HELL ALDKFJLSDKJF ?!?!?!

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THIS LIKE HE DIDNT HAVE TO but i guess it did kind of knock the count/countess out of their stupor bc by seeing something so insane from javier they think javier rlly regrets giving lloyd BRAIN DAMAGE LAKJDFSHDF FUCKING BRAIN DAMAGE

i did see some ppl say that its kind of odd that they thank javier for this and thats fair yeah i dont think id be ok w finding out "oh one of my loved ones gave another one of my loved ones MEMORY LOSS"

but i think it could be that they're relieved to find out (or are inclined to believe) that their lloyd is "still alive" - he's just changed, not dead (except he is dead, so javier succeeded in fooling them without telling very severe lies)

honestly with how their expressions were they were probably expecting the worst, esp w all the evidence stacked against lloyd. can u imagine that despair, realizing that the person you've finally come to love is not the person you thought they were?? that the person you thought you had a second chance with, wasn't that person at all? i bet all those regrets were washing over the count and countess all at once,,, and then the relief that comes when it's revealed (when they're lead to believe) that no, it's the same person. this second chance was with the same lloyd, not someone else. that's still their son. oooooh imagine the relief, the realization that you don't have to mourn, you don't have to grieve for a death that happened under your nose

i think that's why they reacted this way, instead of worrying over javier wacking lloyd upside the head; like, what matters now is that lloyd frontera is alive (to them) and that both lloyd and javier have grown and changed themselves and the estate for the better. that the child and the knight they raised have a bright future and isn't that what any parent wants?

tho ofc they dont realize that their assumption is not the truth, but well they dont need to know that,,, for everyones sakes,,, nice play javier

when lloyd shows up and we saw this panel i thought we were gonna have a nice moment between the two of them where lloyd thanks javier for covering for him and hiding the truth but then-

THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS HAHAHAHAHAHA /AFF

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO DEVIOUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

and then lloyds conversation with the count/countess after PLEASE

yknow this is kind of like that bargaining strategy where you propose something completely absurd and crazy so that the other party says no, but then you offer your real request that is objectively tasking but the other party thinks of it as lesser than the former request so they'll grant it . whatever the heck that strat is called thats what this feels like HAHAHAHA

AND ARCOS TRYING TO LOOK OUT FOR LLOYD AND

AHFGSDLJKFSDGHH THRTHOWS UP

lloyd says "all i need is for you to stay healthy" and god that fucking. hurts ouw ouuuhhh owiee oww BUDDY U CAN HAVE BOTH U CAN PROTECT UR FAMILY WHILE ALSO RELYING ON THEM!!! LLOYD!!! LLLOOOYYYDDD

and yet of course this is smth that suho!lloyd would say ,,, he wasnt able to help his parents w their struggles back then but now he can and now it's all he wants to do ,,, i cant even explain how emo this exchange makes me i can't quite put it into words even after a whole day of sitting on this,,, especially after the events of 157 like lloyd im worried abt u!! he doesnt even realize he doesnt even realize the overwork the possible spiral that can come from trying to preserve this aghhh AAGGHHH

sorry for losing it anyways moving on, the title effects linking yippie!!! it was super fun seeing all the teams and all the people he's brought together,,, truly this was our greatest estate development /j

ALSO JAVIER BEING BY HIMSELF ON A TEAM LMFAOOOO "the team that does everything" HAHAHAHAHA

AND THEN AND THEN the last reveal of this episode THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN HELLO!@?!?!??!@?!?@?!@! OH MY GOD

raphael looks a litte different here i could've sworn he was a turtle /j

BUT YEAH HOLY SHIT WOW i mean it makes sense, if theres a hell theres probably a heaven, and there was that line that javier said where he was like "alicia liking lloyd is more ridiculous than suho actually being an archangel" MAN I SHOULDA SEEN THIS COMING LMAO but im still excited to see where this goes

like the jewel of truth construction being ILLEGAL? what r they gonna do??? like,,, take the parts away?!?! how will lloyd avoid their like, divine punishment or whatever?? is it considered a crime to start mythical construction??? i wonder what their ruling will be

also the exiled student guy (forgot his name) and lupellan what r they up to will this interfere w them?? or with lloyd? a lot of stuff lined up oh GOD lmao

anyways thats all for right now, as always i yap more on my twitter if youd like to see more shenanigans from me, see yall next week!! !!!!

[bismuthburnsblue]

hi, its another part of design a dress! time for a bonus poll, andddd some very preliminary patterning notes !!

to recap, we are making: a sleeveless, circle skirt shirtdress, with a wing collar & dotted mesh overlay.

so, first off! i bought little pink flower buttons that i think compliment the fabric quite nicely!

and i was thinking, maybe there should be piping around the collar? i feel like the wing collar is the main feature of this dress, but it might blend a little too much into the rest, but putting hot pink flat piping around it will really highlight it! if i did do it, id be doing it pretty much as narrow as i could make it, just a hint of a line.

There are 2 dilemmas with this though- the first, obvious one, is i worry itll maybe look too pyjama-y. Thats the most common context you'd see piping like that, and not the image im trying to evoke. The secondary issue is with there i stop. The collar is gonna run directly into the buttons and right down to the hem of the skirt, leaving no clear stopping point. i could taper it off at the roll of the collar, or go down the shirt section of the buttonstand and disappear at the waist, or i could go all the way down- though i think maybe thats too far? i would be interested to hear what you think!

And now some fun notes about the very start of the pattern! i still dont want to commit to a timeline on this, but it is sparking my interest right now, so i may dip into some mock ups soon :)

Im thinking that im gonna use my Flora pattern as a jumping off point- princess seams seem like the sensible choice to me- doing darts with two layers of fabric is always... fiddly, so i think im going to sacrifice some of the impact of the print to have those be two separate pieces (technically i Could pattern match. but i wont.)(its gonna be hard to do with the shape of the pieces & inefficient on fabric usage, which is already a problem because its directional) theres gonna need to be some adjustments made- mostly to the centre front panel, between the grown on button stand & collar, but i think the bones are good!

Ive been studying grown on collars a bit too- its hard to find specific information for wing collars, but i think the concepts the same. im going to have to do a complete facing for the collar because of the layers (this is also why piping should be a straight forward add in, theres already a seam there anyway), and i was thinking of dragging it across to make a bastardised neck & armhole facing. it should give a nice clean finish to everything that way! technically, i could just do a complete lining, but i think id at least like to try it this way & see how it goes! Ive poked around very roughly with the way the fabric needs to fold and i really think it might come out looking good!

[mychlapci]

. https://www.tumblr.com/mychlapci/761584986446020608/ok-someone-send-me-requests-to-write-i-will?source=share hi can. can i get…. starscream wetting himself.. (whether its old man incontinence, him purposely doing it for fetish purposes, his partner making him do it, mechs bullying him into nervous wetting, etc etc i dont mind… i just really really want fancy, pretty boy Starscream with his waste pouring down his legs like he's some untrained sparkling,,)

here. it's actually kind of funny when you think about it.

Starscream never had these issues on the Nemesis, not in millions of years of commanding his army, it must be this diluted energon he has to drink to save up his fuel that causes him to limp quickly out of any scene of the crime. All that unnecessary fluid added in only flies through him, filling his waste tank to the brim while he’s still in the middle of something.

He was never the sneakiest of bots, but to leave a trail of waste fluid behind himself as he flees the autobots’ or the decepticons’ ire is truly a low point. He could almost feel it sloshing around inside of him, every step was agony as his abdomen folded on itself and pressure slammed into his waste tank.

„Why does it all have to happen to me!” Starscream whined as his legs buckled, saving the growl in the back of his throat for later. Now he had to get as far away from the gunfire as possible. He already had a shard of energon in his hands, and whatever they were shooting at each other over was not worth the humiliation of wetting himself in front of prying optics. He could always come back after he’d relieved himself.

As he made his way down further into the cave system, wings flickering nervously, Starscream released that growl. He clutched the shard of energon with both hands while he squeezed his thighs close. He started to eye an empty, blissfully unoccupied corner of the cave where he could possibly kneel and relieve himself, when he suddenly registered the sound of blasters powering up.

Starscream flipped around to see four vehicons pointing their weapons at him. He shrieked „You! You, how dare you point your blasters at me!”

He felt his body seize up in shock, and a pressure pulsed uncomfortably hard against his waste port, a little trickle dribbled down into his panels „I don’t have the time for this!”

The soldiers briefly exchanged a look, shrugging at each other, but they didn’t lower their guns. Two of them stepped closer, and as Starscream clenched to try and keep it together, tried to keep it inside, his frame decided it’s had enough, and responded to the sight of a powering weapon by releasing the seal of his waste tank at once „Wait– Wait!"

Waste fluid splattered down between his legs, and Starscream gasped, irritated wings suddenly flopping down to point to the ground. It actually stopped the soldiers in their tracks, and they watched seemingly emotionlessly as a hot puddle formed underneath Starscream’s pedes, until of course, one of them laughed, and then the others followed, visors blinking the entire time.

Starscream’s whole frame felt hot with rage and slack with relief, he didn’t know which one to pay attention to first. His valve was soaked behind his panel, the seams of his modesty cover swollen and outdented as the loud stream of piss continued to push through.

They continued to laugh. They were laughing at him! For wetting himself in fear like an unruly sparkling, their own commander. Starscream must have looked ridiculous, pigeon toed and panting by the time his waste tank had emptied completely, standing in a steamy puddle of his own filth.

Thankfully, they were suddenly distracted by a message incoming through the commlink, and Starscream fled with his thighs still wet, miraculously dodging their poorly aimed blaster fire. At least running is easier now.

(author's note:

> be me

> vehicon but don't let it get to me

> hold rogue commander at gunpoint

> he pisses himself in front of us all

> runs away without a word

> fml)

[wizardyke]

my tiny review of doukyuusei after reading the whole thing in the span of 24 hours or so:

the student teacher romance shut was disgusting to me i skipped past every single page until i saw sajou and kusakabe again. i initially skipped hara and sora entirely until i was reading the next volume and didnt recognise quite few characters. it made my skin crawl, i genuinely hated how they pushed it & even treated harasen as a rival to kusakabe and not a literal freak for liking sajou 😭😭😭 the hibiki shit was deplorable too, none of you deserve a happy ending ur all going to hell

(i understand that in the context of like, 2006 gay romance was as an equal "taboo" as teacher/student romance but still it is incredibly stomach twisting to see it unfold)

i feel like the first volume was incredibly artful in its panelling and storytelling. i really enjoyed the framing devices of classical japanese poetry & kusakabe bothering everyone with trying to remember it, and he only remembers it when he sees sajou again. i feel like it has a beautiful rhythm to the story (which harasens pedo ass story interrupts) and thus was perfect to adapt for the movie. the later volumes really drag their feet in this aspect imo

i really enjoyed seeing sajou slowly gain more confidence in himself and his existence as a gay man. the slow progression of kusakabe initiating every kiss & sajou just closing his eyes doing a >___< face to sajou initiating and all other things. its very cute. i think it comes at a price though, because then kusakabe barely has a character outside of sajou. by the time blanc comes around, sajou has had like 3 people interested in him, a whole new feiendgroup and his family drama, while all we know about kusakabe is that he holds down a part time job while trying to be a musician and occasionally keeps in contact with his old friend from school. (although you could say the highschool arc was kusakabe's story and afterwafds was sajou's, but i dojt think it works for how they work as a pair)

i think with a more conventional release schedule it wouldve been a much better story over all. it feels incredibly stop-start (from what i know it does seem like one shots kept getting added, so it makes sense) and i really do think the mangaka couldve cut some fat. i really dont give a rats ass about koma & ryuuichi sorry 😭😭😭 and i didnt read anything to do with haru/sora and the geriatric man with his highschooler bf. i feel like that couldve been its own story — it doesnt sajou or kusakabe any time to breathe

overall i really did enjoy it!! the art really was my favourite part, i adore how they use shapes and form. and obviously kusakabe's gorgeous hair i will never forgive them for making BALDDDDDDDDDD

[weirdcat1213]

fuck

here we go

vol 10 thoughts

chap 1:

-IMIMIMIM NOT READY FOR THISSSS

-nooo dont make me read it, im too broken already

-NOOOO SHUT UPPPPPP

-delusion oh dear geesus

-DONT ASK THAT WHY WOULD ASK THAT :C

-stfu wolfwood please, ik you love him and admire him but stfu pls

-huh

-oh right....this is how...yeap

-please leave wolfwood just fucking leave

-although yeah thats interesting, im not sure if he thought vash or someone would come for him but yeah, if he actually thought that was the end he would have taken the vials...hmmm

-or maybe not. maybe he was ready to defend the orphanage and be done with it

-ouch

chap 2:

-HE TOOK NO DISCIPLE THAT WAS KIDNAPPING BASICALLY FUCK YOU

-livio ill say this with love....rn i do not fucking care about your self worth/attachment issues. he can go to hell, he and his stupid fucking gun

-OH NO THE CHILDREN

-LMAO HER PLAN WAS GOOD AND THE CHILDREN WERE LIKE "YEAH NO"

-go to FUCKING HELL CHAPEL SHUT UUUUP

-SHUT UP YOU KNOW HES SENSITIVE ABOUT THAAAAAT

-FUCKER

-well this is fucked this is so fucked (may i remind the people this is my 2nd reading)

-ah yey, the tears are here

-"we could have done this as a team" then WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASS. NOW YOURE IN THIS FUCKING PAINFUL AND STUPID POSITION. YOU KNOW WHATS SHES FUCKING RIGHT, YOU NEVER LISTENED TO HER NOR VASH AND WENT TO DO SHIT ON YOUR OWN, AND NOW YOURE HERE. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING NEED OF DOING EVERYTHING ALONE CUZ THATS WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR YEARS. YOU CARRIED YOUR LONELINESS FOR YEARS, BUT YOU ARE ABOUT TO REALIZE YOU WERE NEVER ALONE, BUT ITS TOO LATE NOW ISNT IT??? YOU PRECIOUS STUPID DUMBASSS

-this is literally where the fun ends (kinda)

-OH THANK GOD YOURE FUCKING HERE FINALLY

-oh this is when i start to cry like a baby oh geesus

chap 3:

-WHY DO YOU THINK HE CAME YOU DUMBASSSSSSSSSSSSS (ily)

-wolfwood i fucking swear-

-razlo can you not, youre scaring the children, the readers and me

-also the ultimate pacifist vs the ultimate "what if i make a hole in your head for funsies"

-silly me thought the 1st time"oh vash is here so literally nothing can happen"....ja

-yeap, theres also that

-if the book club survives this i would love to buy everyone virtual drinks actually. the people who dont drink can have a nice lemonade

-SPIN THAT FUCKER WOLFWOOD :D

-NOT THEM NOT TRUSTING HIS ANGEL ARM PLSSSS

-"im a friend of nicholas" i may throw up out of sadness

-oh thats cruel for you? really?

-good fucking riddance old man

-razlo stop i dont want to sympathize with you rn

-VASH QUICK DO SOMETHING-

-THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING COUPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-"they switched to fighting as a team" im gonna eat glass

-i love how this chapter ends. thanks for the goofy moment before you pluck my heart out in front of my eyes, nightow

-also if you dont see how thats the face of someone trying to confess something really important but failing idk what to tell you

chap 4:

-"death omen" SHUT UP NIGHTOW

-YOU FUCKING DUMBASS

-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :c

-[side note but if orange animates this is gonna hurt like HELL cuz they have highlighted a lot wolfwood's thing with survival so...yeah]

-STOP MAKING YOUR HUSBAND SAAAAAAAAD

-oh...oh no

-HE SAID THE THING HE SAID THE THING NOW SHUT IT

-THE FUCKING. FUCKING. TOUCH

-OW

-those fucking eyes damn hes pissed

-OW RIGHT, HIS NOSE...AH

-oh..oh honey no pls dont leave pls dont leave him alone ik you understand whats gonna happen but please dont please come back-

-oh that blank panel, oh geesus

-YA BRATTTTT

-FUCK OFF RAZLO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

chap 5:

-i dont get much about this fight ngl

-razlo's eye is so cool but also FUCK OFFFFFFF

-FASTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

-OHOHOHOH YEAH LETS GO LETS HIT IT

-DAMN

-PUNCH IN THE FACE BITCH

chap 6:

-not the...not the fucking parallel with vash and razlo....nightow why

-HAHGSYU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE BLOOD

-wait what-

-VASH TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-nononononononNONONONONO NO

-right right, i fell for it again

-THATS IT WE WIN- AH NO SHIT FUCK

-i told you he was a cunt razlo

-oh shit thats, thats beautiful

-i dont mean this as a negative thing against nightow/the story...BUT DID LIVIO'S FUCKING IDEA HAD TO BE THIS FUCKING LATE????? YOU ARE FUCKING WITH ME

-yey...hes back

chap 7

-for the love of geesus pls dont make me read this

-this is more from a personal standpoint but it makes me so fucking sad he felt guilty at the idea of going back to the orphanage cuz no matter what that was always his home, a place he could have come back to. not everyone has one of those. but alas, now its too late

-.....no. he doesnt care that you are a killer or that you have one of the coins, that you were gonna betray him anytime. he doesnt care wolfwood so fucking stop trying to be the villain here.

-ik fucking know why wolfwood doesnt wanna go....but fucking damn it

-this chapter is so quiet. the 1st time i was listening to mr bluesky but the chapter's lack of music just fits.

-maybe YOU are alright but im not. ill never be alright with this

-when i get my own place im not buying a couch and thats a promise

-"smile needle noggin" [crying pause]

-IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT IF I DONT TURN THE PAGE I DONT HAVE TO SEE IT

-god literally has never made vash any favors ever and the ONE TIME he needed someone bigger than everything else...nothing happened

-"and we can celebrate" WHY DID NIGHTOW PAINTED HIS FUCKING DEATH LIKE A CELEBRATION??? YES, HE GETS HIS FREEDOM BACK, HE GETS TO GO HOME, TO SEE HIS FAMILY, TO SHARE A DRINK WITH HIS SOULMATE BUT I CANT STAND IT I CANT

-ofc you did, wolfwood has never been good at lying

-and there it is, til death do them part as they say idk

-...............................................................................................................

chap 8

-im gonna eat my hand, glass, my computer, my house, the world-

-so...do we think that grave was just laying around or...

-DONT YOU FUCKING ASK THAT (IKIKIKIK BUT STILL, LIKE LOOK AT VASH'S EYES HE GETS IT)

-CALL ME STUPID BUT I GENUIENLY FORGOT ABOUT THE HAIR

-literally "stay away from him asshole"

-imagine knowing for a fact you broke something really important inside your brother and laughing about it

-baby oh my baby your hair, your little and stupid blond hair

-orange you have hinted at this so many times and let me tell you one thing, if you do it it has to hurt in the best way possible because this scene deserves nothing but the best

-i respect and wonder how nightow is so good at comic relief. its still a sad scene, everything fucking hurts, the reader will never be the same again...but he can put bits and pieces of comedy that make you chuckle or at least smile to then continue to hit you with a bat

-NOT THE JESUS ALLEGORY CARRYING A FUCKING CROSS, go to hell nightow

-and thats his cross?....to survive?????? im dead

-oh so he doesnt take it? ngl after this my first reading turned into a blur, god knows what i was thinking

im..........yeah. i fucking hated that, as i thought i would