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clonerightsagenda · 4 months ago

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Ok there is. a lot that could be said about Vi and Jinx but I'll hone in on a couple of things for the sake of this post:

We're back at it with character duos representing dueling worldviews, and Vi and Jinx are both struggling with the past. Vi wants things to go back to how they used to be. I have to keep reminding myself of this because of the show's breakneck pace, but she's been in prison for what, 6 years? And then seasons 1-2 take place over a few months. Vi stepped out of a timewarp into a nightmare. Her last clear memories of the world outside her cell were an entirely different situation; it makes sense that she's struggling to let that go. And it also makes sense that she latches onto the first real positive interaction she gets after all that (Caitlyn) and is so willing to take her back the second Caitlyn reverts to their past dynamic. Vi cannot move the fuck on. More on this later.

Jinx, on the other hand, wants to make the past go away. She changes her name, her look, her life, but of course she can't make a clean break of it. She keeps dolls of her dead siblings. She's literally haunted by figures from her past. I am not psychotic and have not done a lot of reading on psychosis, so I can't speak authoritatively on how Jinx's mental illness is portrayed (I suspect not well), but there's a noticeable shift between seasons. Part of this could be that Jinx's symptoms are intensified by stress and parts of season 2 Jinx (and AU Powder) are in a better headspace, but it also reeks of 'this character is more of a protagonist so we're going to get rid of some of the unsightlier symptoms'. Suicidal depression is prettier and more poetic, right?

So we have two sisters with two different ways of handling the past (trying to kill it versus trying to resurrect it), and while I found the whole Vander/Warwick plotline annoying, I recognize its symbolism as the undead weight of their history. What's interesting to me, though, is that despite Vi getting the more traditionally 'good' ending, Jinx is the one who escapes this mindset. Vi doesn't get through to her, but Ekko - whose powers allow him to turn back time, but only 4 seconds, a more limited engagement with the past that acknowledges you can't live in it - does. She changes her look again in a way that references multiple important people from different phases in her life. She also appears to be wearing a hoodie made out of an Ikea shark maybe. And although the finale episode starts with Jinx trying to fall to her death, her eventual "death" isn't actually caused by her issues. She did not go into that fight with the goal of a heroic sacrifice. She ends up falling with Vander because Vi refused to leave his inert body, because Vi still cannot let go. Jinx is the one who pays for it. Maybe that's why after her heavily implied survival she doesn't come back.

(Also, sidenote unrelated to the core idea being explored in this post: Both of the sisters are far more interested in personal relationships than ideology. Jinx doesn't dislike Caitlyn for being a topsider; she dislikes her for stealing her sister's attention. She never meant to be a figurehead for Zaunite liberation. So I guess her giving Vi her blessing to date their military dictator doesn't represent her betraying Zaunite ideals (she never actually cared about that and is very upfront about it) but it's still sort of annoying. Though maybe it's just another warning sign that she's given up on everything, that she no longer has the energy to fight for her sister's attention. And when Vi gets released she has jail cell sex with Caitlyn instead of running after her sister so, fair read of the situation there, Jinx.

I just finished Arcane. I have deeply mixed feelings but re: PPLN: I would be interested in hearing your thoughts about everything that went down with Vi and Jinx. Or Mel and Ambessa.

re: send me PPLN asks while I'm snowed in, the sleet has begun and so do I

This ask could probably keep me fed for my entire snowbound experience because oh my god, but let's start off with Mel and Ambessa since there's a little bit less material to work with, and I'll come back to Vi and Jinx later.

Stuck it under a cut because this got long

Arcane loves its character duos who represent dueling worldviews, and Ambessa and Mel represent hard versus soft power. In Mel's childhood flashback, Mel advocates for sparing a captive and using her as a figurehead while they become the power behind the throne, and Ambessa decapitates her instead. In the present, Ambessa is a warlord coming to Piltover looking for new shiny magitech to use against her enemies. Meanwhile, Mel is the richest woman in the city and a major political player, making alliances, swaying council votes, and backing rising stars.

We see the two of them come into conflict in season 1 and the beginning of season 2. (Although, we can note, Ambessa is using political maneuvering here by manipulating Salo and Caitlyn! She has more range than just brute force.) As viewers, we can anticipate that the characters will be used to explore these two different philosophies of power and control.

Aaaaaand then.... Mel gets kidnapped, joins a sisterhood of witches, comes back, hands over her mom to one of the witches, then decides she doesn't trust the witch after all, and then her mom dies and she gets her job. I'm. Not quite sure what philosophical statement is being made here. Which is possibly one of the reasons why Mel's sections feel so untethered from the rest of the show, beyond that it's clearly spinoff bait. Ambessa proclaims she is the wolf - is this a vindication of hard power? But Mel mostly just showed up to do some sparkly and ill defined magic and then introduce a new villain.

As I've been contemplating this ask, I've been thinking that while Mel votes for Zaunite independence and opposes the use of hextech weapons on the Undercity (she frames this to Jayce as 'I won't let them corrupt your dream', although she does seem distressed at the unnecessary violence as well) she sure didn't seem to be using her wealth and power to do much for the Undercity beforehand. Judging from Caitlyn's 'can you believe they live like this??' speech in season 1, the Undercity is literally beneath the notice of the privileged of Piltover. Plus, Mel is an immigrant, and I'm not sure how long she's been in town. To wind her deeper into the season's storylines and explore her philosophy versus her mother's more, I kind of wish she'd ended up spending some time in Zaun. Maybe she gets dropped off there after leaving the witch place (still not entirely sure how she got home from there...) I'd be interested in her trying to use her political skills in that environment, and seeing how the leadership of the Undercity responds to this wealthy outsider. Caitlyn who got vocally upset about the Undercity's treatment and then teamed up with Ambessa to oppress it versus Mel, Ambessa's daughter and privileged councilor, who now tries to do the opposite despite a distrustful reception...

We see Sevika serving as the loyal right hand woman to whoever she sees as Zaun's best figurehead (Vander, Silco, Jinx), but at the end she's taking a seat at the council. It would be interesting if she'd had some interactions with Mel, who also spoke about being a power behind the throne, as they both navigate having to stand out on their own. Maybe Mel could be the one brokering the conversation between Zaun and Piltover, which is a missing scene I would've loved to see. (It's implied the councilor with the cool necklace thingy gained respect for Sevika and advocated for her, but seeing that actually go down would've been nice.)

#perpetual perpetual ladies night #arcane

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aoitrinity · 4 years ago

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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greensaplinggrace · 4 years ago

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do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

---

This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

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This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

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Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

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This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

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Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

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This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

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This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

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I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

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This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

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OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

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May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

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You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

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Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

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@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

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Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

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👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

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This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

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temunitu · 3 years ago

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oh boy, rewatching Rise with 1-2 episodes a day is giving me a new perspective on the whole show (I'm talking mostly about character development, plot, pacing, etc.)

disclaimer: this is NOT meant to discourage anyone from watching the show, nor is it meant to attack anyone who enjoys the points i criticize. these are merely my opinions and i respect anyone who thinks differently from me.

read more because i'm incapable of keeping my thoughts short:

first off, when i first started watching Rise, i was completely smitten by the show. the first few episodes that aired before the rest of the show started playing on tv, i watched religiously. it was my favorite tmnt iteration for a LONG time and i still hold it near and dear to my heart.

but it was not perfect. nothing is, really.

Donnie - i’ve reblogged and mentioned how i didn’t appreciate how the writers handled Donnie’s development in Rise. Again, if you’re a Donnie fan, i can still see why - he’s a fun character. To me it just got old watching him run in circles.

Mikey - i had so many thoughts on my boy so i put it in a separate post - TL;DR Mikey didn’t have much development himself, the episodes he supposedly does were problems that got introduced and solved in the same episode, and Mikey acts as more of a hype-man/therapist and feels more like a background character than a main character. I might be biased cuz he’s my favorite, idc. he deserves more spotlight.

Draxum - season 1, he’s great. It’s season 2 that fell short with me. Not all the post-redemption episodes bugged me, he still feels largely in-character in mystery meat and the finale. I think it was hidden city’s most wanted that really… seemed off to me. Maybe it was the fact he was a teddy bear, idk, but him using Mikey as leverage against Splinter irked me. Draxum and Lou/Splinter had hardly any interaction in goyles, goyles, goyles so their “rivalry” felt really forced. i could see Splinter hating Big Mama since their relationship (was implied to have) lasted WAY longer. Draxum kidnapped and experimented on Lou in the same day and they'd barely met. idk, it felt rushed.

Season Two - i don’t blame the writers for this, i blame nickelodeon for cutting the series short so we didn’t get to experience the series in its rightful glory. but even leading up to the finale, it feels like there’s so many gaps missing in how characters and their dynamics change.

unbalanced focus - related to some of the previous points, but there really does seem to be a lot more episodes revolving around Donnie and Leo more than Raph and Mikey. i get why Leo and Don are fan favorites since they get so much more screen time than the other two, but Raph and Mikey had so much potential that just got shrugged off. Especially Mikey (don't @ me, he deserves better)

yes, the show got cut short. It’s still easily one of my favorites (especially season 1) but there were so many episodes that felt like there was a gap (like characters developed off-screen). I know the writers were pressed for time but season 2 just didn’t quite hit the same. Some of the episodes are still amazing/my favorites, but there’s a couple that really bugged me.

but my biggest complaint is still directed at nickelodeon/viacom for pulling the plug before giving the show a chance. most of these points would probably have been addressed or fixed if we'd gotten the full season 2 the writers had planned for.

#rottmnt analysis #rottmnt #tea mn tea

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bestiesenpai · 4 years ago

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Youtuber Sukuna pt3

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life! I never thought youtuber sukuna would be so popular, so thank you everyone for giving me encouragement to continue this lil series. This will be the final part, but who’s to say we can’t have an OVA episode?? I smell a beach episode...or maybe a trip to an onsen? Who knows!

Part one --- part two

This had to be the stupidest thing he’d ever done. It certainly felt like it. Scrolling on Pinterest was the last thing he wanted to do, in fact it was something he openly mocked in the past, but now per your advice, he was looking at thousands of photos of home decor.

Sukuna was hesitant to admit to you that he had no furniture in his home. After seeing how well decorated and lived in your home was, it only made his shame increase at being a grown man with foldable furniture. But you took it in stride and offered to help, even making him share a Pinterest board with you so the two of you could get inspiration for a shopping trip.

That’s how he found himself at IKEA on a bright and early Saturday morning. You’d begged him to let you come shopping with him, and Sukuna was a man unable to refuse any request you made of him.

“Ah, this is going to be so exciting!” You shouted, nearly running to the carts at the front of the store. You were clearly more excited than he was, your energy seemed to know no bounds as you bounced on your heels and waited for him to trudge to the front door.

“What’s so exciting about furniture?” He grumbled, subconsciously taking the cart from your hands. Pushing into the store, Sukuna felt like he had been transported to another world. With staged living quarters that looked more real than his own home, he was at a loss for words.

“Sukuna, c’mere!” You were already ten paces ahead, standing at the entrance to one said fake home. Coming upon it, Sukuna nearly gagged at the color palette. There were bright orange tufted couches with a blue area rug and more pillows than he had owned his whole life. With white accents and gunmetal colored lamps, it looked far too much for him.

“It’s ugly.” He said, not caring about the other people around you that seemed to enjoy it.

“Really?” Taking another look around, you shrugged your shoulders and took a step back. “You’re right, it doesn’t really fit your whole vibe.”

That was definitely correct. If Sukuna had to give a name to his personal style it would be ‘who the fuck cares as long as it works’. He wasn’t one to dwell on his looks for too long, just content grabbing clothes that were easily accessible and trendy, ones that he knew would help him fit in. And that habit had bled into his furniture choice as well.

“Okay, you seemed to pin a lot of pictures that look like this-” Leaning over, he watched you scroll past picture after picture of what almost looked like the same thing, a living room with dark colored couches, a white rug and dark colored walls, almost always with a metal or dark wooden coffee table.

“Yeah, it fits me.” Wandering through the store, Sukuna glanced at an all white room with a window frame encasing a faux view of a city lit up at night. “None of this shit.” He made a vague gesture to the room, and the one following it that looked similar.

“You don’t want any bright colors at all?”

“My hair’s already pink, what more do you want?” That made you snort and giggle, and in turn made Sukuna smile.

“Okay but you can’t just have all black furniture, it’ll make your house feel like a dungeon.” Your hand came to rest on the handle of the shopping cart, dangerously close to laying on top of his. “Promise we’ll get at least a little color today? Maybe a yellow, or a pink to match your hair.”

“S-sure.” Sukuna couldn’t look at anything except for your hand. Your pinky finger was just barely touching his, almost enough that Sukuna could slide his hand under yours and interlace your fingers together.

“Ooh, what about this for your bedroom?” And just like that, you were gone. Dashing off to a display on the wall for bed sheets. “You said you only have a plain white one, right?”

“Yeah.”

“How about this? This design is really trendy right now.” You were pointing to one that was a deep navy, white grid lines crossing over to make big squares.

“I like it.”

“Awesome! Now, do you have a queen or a king bed?”

After picking out the bed sheets, Sukuna slowly opened up more to the idea of shopping. He was able to recognize pieces he’d seen on Pinterest, picking them out as things he readily liked and would enjoy looking at in his house. He was even persuaded to get a few area rugs for different places in his house, and before he knew it you had piled the basket high with things.

“Ah, today was so much fun!” You sang, bouncing in your seat on the way home from IKEA.

“Now I just need to build all this shit.” Sukuna was amazed at how much you’d convinced him to buy. He had new furniture for his bedroom, a new couch was going to be delivered, a dining table and chairs and even a new desk and chair for his office setup in the corner of his living room.

“Lemme help!” You looked far too eager to help him build, and although Sukuna wanted to tell you no - he really didn’t want you to see how he was currently living - he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to have you in his house with him, working together on something.

“Alright. Let’s stop somewhere and get food though, I’m hungry.”

One quick fast food meal that Sukuna loathed later, you were carrying things up to his apartment. He refused to let you carry the heavy things even if he could really use the help with some of the oblong boxes. But he didn’t want to risk you getting hurt, so you carried the small things.

When everything was inside the house, Sukuna watched your reaction to his place. You hadn’t made a sound when you first arrived, you were probably too busy trying to bring everything in from his car.

“Sukuna…” Scanning his apartment, your eyes landed on his abysmal furniture.

“Yeah?” He screwed his eyes shut, dreading what you had to say.

“This is totally what I expected from you.” You laughed, unpacking some of the fake plants you made him buy. “It totally fits you.” Letting out the breath he’d been holding in, Sukuna grabbed one of the boxes containing his new desk.

“Let’s get started.”

If Sukuna thought cooking with you was hard, building furniture with you was the final boss level. He had you read the instructions while he laid all the pieces out, and when you let out a whine at how many steps there were, Sukuna could have died happily right then and there.

It was easy to build the furniture he bought, but it wasn’t easy to work with you. There was no problem with your actual work, but the fact that Sukuna had to be so close to you at times, nearly hugging you when he had to hold up a piece for you to put a few screws in, it was too much to handle.

He quickly banished you to work on another project. It was your fault he kept getting distracted and forgetting what step he was on, so the only solution was to work on separate things. Plus, watching you flit around his house, hearing you change the bed sheets and lay down a new mat in the bathroom made him feel like you were newlyweds decorating your first home together.

“It looks so good in here!” It was well past dark when you finished everything. It truly did look like a brand new space, and not just in the living room. The touches you’d added, with bright pillows, fake plants and some actual art on the walls, made Sukuna happy to be home. His place finally felt like a home and not just somewhere to crash at the end of the day.

“You did a great job picking shit out, I woulda never been able to do all this.” Putting his arm around your shoulder, he gave you a squeeze.

“Are you gonna do a house tour when the couch and table come?” A house tour? Why would he do that? Knitting his brows together, Sukuna sent you a look. “C’mon, you know what a house tour is! All the popular Youtubers do them.” You giggled, wiggling your eyebrows. “And aren’t you a popular Youtuber?”

“I-” Well, you had him beat there. His subscriber count was well into the millions at this point. “Okay, I’ll do one when the rest of the stuff comes.”

“Yes!” Bouncing up and down in joy, you clapped your hands together. “I’ll help you film, I know how bad you are at angles.”

“Hey! I’ve been getting better!”

In a week, you were back at his place, more excited than him to film this video. You’d helped prepare a little script should he need it, and you were fluffing all the pillows so they looked nice on camera.

“Let’s have an entryway shot, those always look so cool!”

“Whatever you say.” Sukuna was merely a puppet on your strings, maneuvering however you saw fit. He made his hands as steady as possible getting b-roll shots of everything in advance.

“If you forget what to say, remember I made a script!” With that final warning, you were standing at the entrance to his apartment and waving your hand. “Okay, start!”

“Hi people on the internet. This is my house tour that (Y/N) is making me do.”

“Shut up!” You laughed behind the camera, trying not to shake it.

“This is my kitchen and dining room, (Y/N) picked out the table and chairs for me.” Doing a sweep over the kitchen, he transitioned to the living room. “And this is the lounge room, where (Y/N) picked out the couch and rug, and my desk stuff over there.”

“Yeah, Sukuna had no rugs in his apartment before!”

“Mhmm.” Somehow Sukuna managed to not stumble over his words, easily recalling parts of the script you had written for him. Highlighting the fake plants and cheap art on the walls, the two of you stood in the bathroom together.

“Look, it’s us!” You waved to the camera in the mirror, nudging your shoulder with Sukuna. Suddenly, the image of getting ready in the morning with you or winding down after a long day together in the bath flashed before Sukunas eyes. What would it be like to come into the bathroom while you were in the shower and join you? Give you a shoulder massage under the hot running water, or to brush his teeth and tell you to hurry up and not waste water.

“And this is the bedroom.” Quickly exiting the bathroom, Sukuna hid his blush with his hand as he entered the room.

“Hold this.” Shoving the camera in his hands, you leapt onto the bed. “This is where I sleep!” Your laugh was easy and you rolled around his bed a few times, simply having fun wrinkling the sheets.

“Uh- w-wha-” Sukuna nearly dropped the camera in shock. Seeing you in his bed, even if it was just on top of the sheets fully clothed, made his heart stop. Gripping the camera hard in his suddenly sweaty hands, Sukuna nearly tossed it to the side and joined you.

“Just kidding!” You were already climbing out of bed as soon as that thought entered his head. “But isn’t this room pretty? I picked out most of the stuff in here too.” Just like that you were back to normal, talking about some random print on the wall that he’d ordered per your suggestion.

Needless to say, Sukuna had a hard time falling asleep that night, the image of you in his bed burned into his mind like it was the only thought he’d ever have again. His imagination was going wild, and he tossed and turned all night - even after relieving some tension.

With his new desk setup, Sukuna felt motivated to edit the video as fast as he could. What you said about improving his living quarters was true; now that his place looked nice, he felt nice in turn. He even left in the part where you jumped on his bed, adding a funny break in the video like you’d shown him.

‘IT’S CONFIRMED. IT’S CONFIRMED. THEY’RE DATING’

‘sirpohdjb my ship has sailed!!’

‘I come here to see why sukunax(Y/N) is trending and it’s this bullshit?? Y’all need to get a life’

Sukuna often felt like a fool when he was with you, and sometime after as well. Even from the first comment he left on your Instagram, he knew people shipped you together and wanted you to date. He felt embarrassed more times than not, but it seemed he never learned his lesson. That scene of you on his bed had gone viral and he regretted leaving it in.

But could you blame him? You made his head spin, most of the time leaving him incapable of doing anything else beside standing in his place looking stupid. It was hard to edit the videos you did together because reliving the footage made him dizzy all over again.

(Y/N): SUKUNA. ANSWER ME ITS URGENT

It was the middle of the day in the middle of the week and Sukuna had nothing better to do than laze around and do nothing. Except now, he was texting you back with his heart suddenly pounding.

Sukuna: what?! Is something wrong where are you??

So much adrenaline was coursing through his body that he had started to shake.

(Y/N): I just got a great idea, I need to know if you’ll do a video with me!

What the fuck.

“What the fuck?” Sukuna said out loud, staring at his phone in disbelief. This is what was so urgent? Nearly sending him into an early grave for a possible video?

Sukuna: what the fuck I thought it was serious

Sukuna: I thought you were in trouble

He wasn’t upset per say, but Sukuna was definitely annoyed.

(Y/N): sorry :( i didn’t mean to scare you

Sukuna: you did more than scare me

(Y/N): I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!

Now Sukuna felt bad and it wasn’t even his fault. In all the time you’d known each other, you never had a negative interaction. He waited five minutes for you to text something, but you didn’t and it was making him anxious all over again.

Sukuna: well tell me what the idea is

(Y/N): no, it’s okay it was a stupid idea anyway

It took you another five minutes to respond, and your answer made Sukuna groan.

Sukuna: you got me all worked up and you’re just gonna leave me hanging?

He had to rectify the situation somehow.

(Y/N): I just thought...of maybe doing your makeup for a video?

Sukuna: what

(Y/N): I told you it was stupid! Just forget it

Sukuna: shut up it’s not stupid

As typing bubbles appeared and then disappeared, Sukuna could just imagine the way your cheeks puffed out indignantly.

(Y/N): here’s a link to someone else who did it with her boyfriend, they had so much fun together!

(Y/N): let me know if you wanna do it, I think it could be a lot of fun…

Sukuna only needed to look at the thumbnail to know he would say yes. The two people on the screen were very close, with the girl nearly touching her boyfriend's face with her own. They had big smiles on their faces as well, and that enticed him more.

Sukuna: I’ll do it

(Y/N): really?? That’s awesome! Come over to my place on Friday, we’ll order pizza and make a day of it!

And that’s how Sukuna found himself in your filming room, stomach full of pizza with a disgustingly cute green frog headband keeping his hair back. He’d seen this room a hundred times in the backgrounds of your videos, but now he was actually here. There were even more plushies than appeared on camera and you had a humidifier going in the corner.

“Okay now stay still, I’m going to wipe a toner on your face.” He had no idea what that meant, watching you with curious eyes pick up a bottle from the table in front of you and dab the liquid onto a cotton pad. “Usually I use my hands to apply toner, but we wanna wipe the dust off.”

With a gentle hand, you held Sukuna by the chin and swiped the cotton across his face, it’s soft chemical scent wafting into his nose. It felt nice, having you apply toner and moisturizer on his face. The most he ever applied was sunscreen, but maybe he could convince you to do his skincare for him every day.

“So today, I chose this makeup look by Beyoncés makeup artist! It’s a really popular style called ‘soft glam’.” Sukuna nodded along with you like he understood what you meant, taking a glance at the picture on your phone before you showed it to the camera. “I think Sukuna would really fit this kind of look, he is a natural beauty afterall.”

“Shut up.” He snorted, a light flush heating his cheeks.

“It’s true! There’s so many comments under your house tour video saying how good you look with the new furniture.” You spoke about the new makeup you bought for the video as you applied the products. Sukuna tried to keep up with what you were doing and saying, but he couldn’t really contribute anything to the conversation about makeup.

“Tuck your lips in so you don’t get foundation in your mouth.”

“What?” He jerked away right as you lifted the small dish you had with what he assumed was foundation.

“I don’t think you want to eat makeup, do you?” You chuckled and pat him on the cheek. “Tuck your lips in.” Doing as you asked, Sukuna flinched when you gripped the back of his head. “Try not to move too much, I want it to be even.”

As you applied the foundation and subsequently the concealer and powder, Sukuna barely moved. In fact, he barely breathed. You had leaned in far closer than you’ve ever been to him, your breath lightly fanning over his face as you worked to smooth everything out.

The hand on the back of his head dipped down to rest at the base of his neck, your body coming to lean more onto him as time went by. You were speaking, Sukuna could hear it, but he wasn’t responding. The excuse was he didn’t want to mess you up, but in truth he couldn’t find any words to say.

“Look at you!” Holding up a mirror for him, you laughed at his shocked face. “How do you like it?”

“I look so flat.” Turning his head side to side, Sukuna lifted a hand to touch his face.

“Don’t touch it, you’ll mess it up!” Snatching his hand away, you held it tightly in your grasp. Sukuna was thankful for the layer of makeup he had on now, no one could see his blush.

“What’s next? This eyeshadow shit?” He picked up a product on a whim, opening it up and staring at it. “Why’s there only two colors? Why are both of them brown?”

“That’s contour, we’ll get to that! This is the eyeshadow!”

Putting eyeshadow on Sukuna was harder than both of you thought. Not used to the feeling of the brush, he twitched every time it was swiped across his eyelid. Through plenty of trial and error, and many times of you telling him to just take a deep breath, you got through it.

“I’m gonna have to cut out so much of you flinching.” You teased, checking the camera to make sure everything was still working.

“I don’t get how you can do this shit, it’s fucking awful.” All Sukuna wanted to do was rub his eyes and face until his skin went raw.

“We aren’t even at the worst part yet: eyeliner.” Taking a seat, you lifted up a simple black pen.

“Oh god.” Hanging his head, Sukuna said a quick prayer for his eyes before straightening up and taking a deep breath.

“Sukuna, I gotta ask you something.”

“What is it?” Cracking an eye open, you were looking at him with your lip caught between your teeth.

“Can I...I need to sit in your lap to do eyeliner.” Sukuna audibly and quite loudly gasped in shock, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. “When I help my friends with eyeliner I sit in their laps! It’s just easier that way!”

“I-I uhm- okay?” He eventually forced the word out, copying your movements and turning his chair to face yours. “What uh- what should I…?”

“Sit still.” Pulling your chair flush with his, you pushed Sukuna’s legs closed and scooted up his thighs until your butt was firmly seated on him. Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, you uncapped the eyeliner. “There, now I can get started.”

Sukuna was in so much shock, he didn’t move. Even when the eyeliner tickled the inner corner of his eye, even when you moved his hands to rest near your lower back so you wouldn’t slide off, even when you did the bottom lashline, he was frozen.

If this is what heaven looked like for him, he would gladly take it and never leave. Your face was so close, he could feel it even when his eyes were closed. The soft skin of your hand held his powdered cheek gently, keeping yourself steady as you drew the lines on his eyes.

“All done.” You whispered. Sukuna opened his eyes and made a noise in the back of his throat; your face was close enough that if he tried to focus too hard he’d go cross eyed. You weren’t paying attention to his reaction at all, too focused on making sure his eyes were even.

The rest of the time went by in a blur. You’d slid off his lap after that, diving right into putting more powders on his cheeks. Swiping thick gloss on his lips is what drew him out of his stupor and into another one as you once again held his chin, swiping the corner of his mouth with your thumb when you were done.

“Sukuna, you look so good!” You said with a slight whine, showing all angles of his face off to the camera before showing him. “You have to promise when you get rich and famous and become a global celebrity that you won’t forget about me.”

“Shut up, you know I won’t.” He said with a smirk, swiping the mirror from you. “(Y/N)...I look fucking hot.” Bursting into laughter, you wiped imaginary sweat off your brow.

“Well I guess I don’t have to ask how you like it!” Patting him on the back, you got up to stretch and check the camera one last time.

“Would you fuck me, ‘cause I’d fuck me.” Sukuna said to himself, striking a few poses in the mirror and for the camera. “Hey, you watching this video you better fucking share this with all your friends. Everyone needs to see how hot I am.”

“We should have ordered you some clothes, turned you into an Instagram baddie!” You teased from behind the camera.

“Please, I don’t need fancy clothes when I’m this sexy.” Running a hand through his hair, Sukuna pointed the mirror at you. “Be honest (Y/N), you wanna date me right now. I look so hot, I bet I’m gonna have thousands of DM’s.” Sukuna’s confidence was the highest it's ever been around you. For some reason, the makeup gave him more assurance.

“Well let me know when to schedule a date with you then, I’d love to grab dinner sometime.”

“I’ll have my assistant pencil you in.” He joked, looking back at himself in the mirror. Sitting back down, you ended the video and made Sukuna wave to the camera. Not turning off the lights you used to film, you made him snap several pictures with you.

“This video was so much fun, Sukuna, thank you!” Rocking back and forth in your seat, you had a demure look while you fiddled with your phone. “And I wasn’t joking about dinner. I really like you, Sukuna.” That made Sukuna stop in his tracks, nearly throwing the mirror down in shock as he turned to look at you.

“Huh?!”

“I-I mean- I mean I like hanging out with you!” Obviously embarrassed, you leaped from your seat and began turning the filming lights off, pointedly avoiding his gaze. Both yours and Sukunas faces were burning with embarrassment, awkwardly not looking at each other.

“(Y/N)...” Sukuna half stood from his chair, forcing himself to move despite how awkward he felt. “I-”

“Let’s wash off that makeup now, I bet it’s uncomfortable.” Keeping your eyes trained on the floor, you went to the door. “I’ll show you what to use in the bathroom.”

The tension in the air was thick after that, and it remained that way for a few days after. Sukuna knew what he heard, he saw how your face looked as you said you liked him, he could hear the sincerity in your voice. But it obviously wasn’t something you were ready to say, as evident as you not texting him as much as you usually did.

When the video went up, Sukuna immediately felt butterflies in his stomach all over again watching it. Reminded of how close you were to him made him ache to have you near him, and seeing you sitting on his lap had another feeling rising in his stomach, warming him up in an embarrassing way.

He patrolled the comments as usual, but there were no mean ones that he could yell at. All of them were screaming about how the video just confirms that the two of you are dating, and surprisingly they weren’t calling out him for looking like he was in love with you.

The comments teased you this time, keen longtime viewers of yours pointing out specific timestamps where you looked embarrassed or looked like you wanted to kiss him. Sukuna checked out every single one, liking the comment for showing him that what you said earlier wasn’t a mistake.

Ever since that day, it seemed like you were promoting on Instagram and Twitter a lot more. Sukuna already had notifications turned on for all your socials and there was a definite uptick in your content posted to those platforms.

There were more sponsored posts and polls posted asking your followers for style advice, and which beauty items they preferred more. Sukuna was happy to see you got an increase in brand deals from the video you did together, a video that had now easily reached five million views and counting. He congratulated you whenever he saw a sponsored post, sending you cute little emojis along with the praise.

All week you had been hinting that there was a big announcement coming, a major event in your life that you were so excited to share with everyone. Sukuna, along with all your other followers, ate up all the crumbs you left throughout the week. Many suspected you were going to go work for a designer label, while others assumed you’d announce a sudden marriage.

(Y/N): Sukuna, check Instagram!

You texted him in the evening on Friday, but he didn’t need the update. He was already on your page when the post was dropped, waiting impatiently for the picture to load.

“A TV show, huh?” As he read the promo photo, he smiled. Appearing on a TV show was a big opportunity for you, one that was sure to lead to many more. Your role wasn’t stated in the photo, but your promo picture was a professional one no doubt taken at a studio.

“Wait, what?” When Sukuna got to the caption, he took a pause. Why were you going on a dating show? He read the words over and over, hoping for a different outcome each time. But there was no denying you’d be going on a dating show.

Checking out the show's page, Sukuna let out a groan. All the male contestants were hot and not even he could deny it. Some had muscles like he did, others were more unconventionally attractive.

Sukuna: you’re going on a dating show?

It took him a while to text you back. In fact, it took nearly thirty minutes for him to text you. Sukuna had gone through all five stages of grief several times, coming back to being in denial over and over again.

Dragging his feet to his kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of wine that one of his rich clients at the gym gifted him. Popping the cork, he collapsed onto his couch and took a long drink from the bottle.

(Y/N): yeah, I’m super nervous!

Sukuna: I bet

Oh, did he fucking bet. He’d gone through all the male contestants' Instagram pages, trying to talk them down in an attempt to lessen the blow that he could potentially lose you to one of them. Why did he have to wait so long to confess to you? Now the chance was gone, possibly forever.

(Y/N): what do you think about the show? I was kind of scared to take the deal

You didn’t want to know how he really felt.

Sukuna: it’s a great opportunity, great for exposure and it’s a lot of money

(Y/N): that’s true!! I’ll have to treat you to dinner with my first TV check!

Just great, a chance for you to gush about whoever you met on the dating show. Taking another long drink from the bottle, Sukuna crumpled even more into his couch. Back were the stages of grief, each emotion washing over him until he mustered up the courage to do something about it.

“Hello?” You answered the phone, confused as to why Sukuna called you instead of replying to your messages.

“(Y/N).” Sukuna said your name firmly, honing in on a spot in the ceiling. Swallowing around a growing lump in his throat, Sukuna forced the next words out. “I like you. I-I really, really like you.”

“What?” He could hear you gasp over the phone.

“I know, what kind of asshole confesses to you when you’re about to go on a TV dating show?” He chuckled, taking a deep breath. “But it’s true. I wanna be your boyfriend, (Y/N). I know it’s too late to back out of the show but-”

“Sukuna-”

“No, let me say this. I know it’s too late to back out, and-”

“Sukuna!”

“And I don’t want to hold you back from finding someone better suited-”

“Sukuna!”

“Better suited for you than me. I’m just a dumb, muscled up chump that-”

“Sukuna I’m a stylist, not a contestant!” You were finally able to get a word in, face flushed from the sudden onslaught of emotions going through you. Sukuna was silent on the other end, mouth hanging open as he processed the words.

“Y-you’re a...a stylist? So you won’t be dating any of them?” He whispered after a few moments, the shock starting to wear off and being replaced with humiliation.

“Yeah, I’ll be on the styling team.” Your voice also dropped to a whisper, the weight of his words beginning to settle down on the both of you.

“Oh god.” Putting the bottle down, Sukuna slapped himself in the forehead. He had never felt like a bigger idiot than in this moment. “Sorry, I’m so sorry, just- just forget it.”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t want to forget it. I...I want you to be my boyfriend too, Sukuna.” There was a pregnant pause, and you could practically hear Sukuna’s brain working overdrive.

“Let’s go out on a date!” He shouted, pushing himself off the couch and to a shaky stand. “I’m free whenever, let’s go on a date!” The alcohol was definitely affecting him more than he first thought, and Sukuna fell back down onto the couch.

“Really? Okay, how about tomorrow? That’s like the only day with good weather for the rest of the week.”

“I’ll pick you up at noon.”

Sleeping restlessly through the night, Sukuna woke up way earlier than his alarm. Taking an obscene amount of time getting ready, he was still early to your house. Taking a lap around the block, he went to a flower shop and bought you a handful of flowers.

“Hi.” Your voice was soft, almost meek as you entered his car.

“Hey. I got you these.” Handing you the flowers, Sukuna bit his lip nervously.

“That’s so sweet, thank you!” Gently hugging them to your chest, your nerves began to melt away and you smiled, making Sukuna smile as well.

Sukuna once again had you pick the cafe you were going to. This one was in a bustling downtown street, not in the middle of the countryside, and as you two walked down the street there were couples passing you left and right.

Snagging an outdoor seat, Sukuna went inside to order for you. This cafe, unlike the last, actually served coffee and Sukuna was quick to get a large cup of it. Buying a few croissants cutely decorated with various creams, he went back outside.

“Say, you’re really cute, why don’t we sit and chat for a bit?” An unknown man was standing near your table, and Sukuna caught the tail end of his sentence.

“N-no, I’m good.” Your eyes were glued to your lap, obviously uncomfortable with the attention you were receiving.

“Aw, really? A pretty face like yours shouldn’t be all alone!” The man had a sleazy grin on his face, visibly eyeing you up in a salacious manner. “My name is-”

“Baby, who’s this guy?” Sukuna had had enough. Stepping right up to the table, he nearly slammed the tray in his hands down on the table. Your head shot up, relief flashing across your face.

“Who are you?” The man scoffed, curling his lip in disgust.

“I’m their boyfriend. Who the fuck are you?” Puffing up his chest a little bit, Sukuna stared the man down.

“Boyfriend? They didn’t say anything about having a boyfriend.” The man attempted to look at you again, but Sukuna beat him to it and caught your eye instead.

“Geez baby, I know we had that fight before we came but I’m hurt! If I get rid of this creep, will you call me your boyfriend again?” Laying a heavy hand on the man's shoulder, Sukuna gave it a squeeze.

“Y-you’re always gonna be my boyfriend, dummy.”

“That just warms my heart!” Sighing loudly, Sukuna gave the man a not so subtle push away from the table. “Well, you heard ‘em. Get lost, you worthless sack of shit.” Grumbling, the man walked away and Sukuna took his rightful seat next to you.

“Thank you.” Immediately, you latched onto him, squeezing his arm in a tight hug as you pressed your face into his shoulder.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Wrapping you up more tightly in a hug, Sukuna pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I would have beat him up if you wanted. Men are fucking disgusting.”

“Sukuna, you are a man.” You laughed lightly.

“Exactly my point.” Rubbing a hand on your back, Sukuna picked up one of the croissants. “I hope you like these because I can already tell it’ll be too sweet for me.” You laughed again and sat up, keeping your face close to his.

“I have something sweet for you too, I hope you like it.”

“What is it?” Quirking a brow, Sukuna jumped when you planted your lips on his. The kiss didn’t last long and the taste of your lip balm and feel of your lips was permanently engraved into Sukunas brain.

“There.” Your cheeks were absolutely on fire, shame rolling off of you in waves at having your first kiss in a crowded cafe on a busy day in the city. It wasn’t even a particularly romantic setting, but something spurred you to do it.

“W-what the hell! You can’t just do that!” Sukuna gasped, his own cheeks burning a deep, scalding red. “You gotta warn a guy first!” His dramatics were drawing attention from the other patrons, making the situation even worse.

“Sshh, you’re being too loud!”

“Like I care! Kiss me again, I’m ready this time!” Grabbing you by the shoulders, Sukuna tried to kiss you.

“W-wait, there’s people watching!”

“I don’t give a fuck who’s watching!” Grabbing your chin, Sukuna kissed you much firmer than when you kissed him. It lasted longer as well, bordering on too long for what is accepted in public. “There.” Pulling away slightly out of breath, Sukuna sat back in his seat and took a sip of his coffee.

“You’re so embarrassing.” You whined, hiding your face in your hands and hitting Sukuna with your head.

“All I’m hearing is how great of a boyfriend I am.”

“No you’re not.” You countered, getting wrapped in a side hug by Sukuna.

“It’s debatable.” Picking up the croissant he dropped, Sukuna took a bite. “Hm, this is sweet but not as sweet as that kiss you gave me.”

“Sukuna!”

#jujutsu kaisen #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen scenarios #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen imagines

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iamacolor · 3 years ago

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I might not be the only one to think this but I believe this show (eaw) would have been so much better if it had a second season or at least a few more episodes than what we'll end up with. If the writer(s) had more time to develop certain arcs or relationships, some parts of the show would make a lot more sense. I didn't get this sudden minwoo redemption arc. Where did it come from? What bothered me the most was nothing led to it. No clues, hints, nothing! It just kinda appeared out of nowhere. Plus, Minwoo should have remained a bad guy. I don't buy his sudden change :/ And tbh, I don't understand why so many writers (this goes for any show, not only dramas) want to give their villains backstories. Every once in a while, it doesn't hurt to have a character that's just mean, no explanation needed. I was disappointed when I saw that happen because the beginning of the show was so promising. Another thing that's been bothering me for quite some time now is Tae Su Mi's character and her arc (I have no better word sorry). Wish we had more time to dive deep into her world. When we had the flashbacks to her pregnancy/uni days, it was nice. But then, we get nothing. How are we supposed to be interested in her story/relationship with Youngwoo when we get crumbs? When she went to visit Youngwoo's father with that US job offer, I was curious. I wanted to see if the father would push his daughter to go to the US or if he would be too torn to do so. Instead, we get one question and then it gets swept under the rug. These last few episodes were kind of meh and I'm disappointed :(

hello anon! yes it's become clear that there is no way to resolve everything without rushing over things and that it's going to be done hastily and that it's already quite messy with the way the writer dragged some stuffs, especially the tae sumi plot which as of now is barely a plot we only got youngwoo telling her she was her daughter and tae sumi going to see her father but on youngwoo's side nothing new has happened and we've never even seen her think about it or talk about it to geurami or anything like that and as you pointed out even her father mentioned nothing - so if you stick to youngwoo's point of view tae sumi's story is a thing of the past and it has no consequences on her life which is insane since it's the plot with the highest stakes and ye sit'll come back next week but it should've been woven into the story more - and even if minwoo has a "deal" with tae sumi nothing significant has come off of it so we could just erase the tae sumi plot and it'd be basically the same show which is such an odd writing choice??). but at this point I feel like it's not so much that the show needs to be longer it's that the writer couldn't really handle all of her own elements and maybe because it's her first drama (and @ has made several posts over the last couple of weeks pointing out how probably because the writer is more used to writing movies rather than a story as long as a 16 episodes drama requires she struggles with filling her story all the way and pacing her character's actions and notably the balance between minwoo's vilain acts and tae sumi's impact) she's still following a fairly typical kdrama type of story and shape of plots etc but this doesn't really fit all the new narrative and directing choices that come with having a protagonist like youngwoo and it feels a bit like falling back on something comfortable that you know the audience already knows but that won't be seen as something to criticise ( I feel like she's just ticking boxes that I don't like and that make things worse but I'm not sure how a korean audience reacts to these types of plots and twists but I'm guessing they're just used to it and it's just how the genre goes). this is something that the producers, the writer, the team behind the show should've worked through differently and planned better since the beginning of the show so that we didn't need to wait until the last week for all of this to come out and so that I wouldn't have genuinely forgotten about the journalist investigating tae sumi or that the ceo was plotting against her until they showed them to us in the latest episode after not mentioning it for so long...

as for minwoo's "redemption" it doesn't even feel like a redemption to me it's just that he's suddenly nice to sooyeon and that he somehow doesn't mind that junho's seeing youngwoo (the fact that we're now seeing minwoo understand the pressure junho put on youngwoo better than junho himself... who thought this through) but other than that??? the scene of him raising volume on the TV when they spoke about tae sumi and youngwoo walked past just to get a reaction put of her clearly showed he has not given up on that so?? if they wanted him to have a roper redemption arc they should've started earlier or made him less of a "vilain" so that we wouldn't mind him so much or as you've said just let him be as he was lol. tbh if he wants to be nicer to some people ok maybe I don't need an explanation for that but you can't tell me sooyeon could genuinely like him just because of that

I didn't mind all of that too much until this week because then they messed up with junho and youngwoo in a way that just felt wrong based on what they built their relationship on and what we knew of them and because most of us were focused on the romance (because as we pointed out aside from the cases they handle each episode that was the only real continuous story lol) now all the flaws are becoming more obvious (and it's not too say it hasn't been a good show, it's just less innovative, balanced and well-planned that the first few weeks led us to believe)

#extraordinary attorney woo #anonymous #I've got mail

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facelessfrey · 3 years ago

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I’m thinking about Roswell and Motherland Fort Salem again....haha

I just feel like Motherland works in so many ways that I wish Roswell did, that it has/had the potential to but wasted it.

Like obviously I’ve been talking about how I feel like Motherland handled Raelle missing for half the season compared to Roswell and Alex. And now that we have Raelle back and her and Scylla are engaged, I know what I want to happen from this eventual Malex reunion. But just...all along, it was so much better with everyone knowing that Raelle was missing. I mean, granted Raelle is the lead of the show really and Alex is clearly not that according to Roswell writers, but you know, he’s not. But still, having everyone know Raelle was missing and even though they had a lot else going on, there was always some sense of urgency to get Rae back, especially from Scylla. We’re getting it a bit from Michael now but imagine if we’d had that all season long. Imagine if he had gone undercover with Bonnie and Clyde to try and find clues to where Alex was. I just feel like it would have made a lot more sense and felt less like stalling. If they actually built Alex’s disappearance into the mystery of what Bonnie, Clyde and Tesca were up to, that would have maintained his presence in the narrative and kept some sense of urgency, even if it took a while to unravel all the clues. I don’t know, they better have one hell of a reunion when we get to it.

But aside from that aspect, I just feel like Motherland excels in other ways too. A big frustration of mine with Roswell has always been the lack of threat against them, the lack of real stakes, the pacing. While I liked Jones, I think the biggest threat they ever had was Noah just because they knew so much less and the violation of body/mind control felt the scariest. But they had Jesse Manes and did next to nothing with him. Sure he supposedly had a bomb to kill aliens at the end of season two but there was so little real story leading up to that. No one was worried about such a thing until the last two episodes. It was such a weak story in a mess of a season. But he could have been such a great villain rather than just a despicable man. Project Shepherd could have been a real ongoing threat instead of just Jesse in his bunker or his severely understaffed prison with just Flint for a lackey. There’s never been a real threat to the aliens being found out by the government etc. And then you have the supposed Dark Triad where two out of the three are...not a threat and the third is just...dull?

With Motherland, the Spree in the first season were genuinely frightening with their suicide balloons and infiltration and face changing. And while we knew they were fighting against conscription of Witches there were so many more layers to unpack there and then they were getting confused with the Camarilla, who are genuinely terrifying witch hunters.

The Camarilla who are a very real threat and have infiltrated the government, putting the lives of our main characters and all witches in danger. And Hearst with his vocal chord stealing and using against them and Silver becoming President, the stakes are super high, especially going into the final two episodes with our main unit turning themselves in.

I just...I feel no such stakes from Roswell and never really have aside from maybe a few points with Noah and a tiny bit with Jones. But Project Shepherd or fucking Deep Sky could have been real genuine government threats the way the Special Unit was in the original show and they just...weren’t. And it’s a shame. I’ve never once felt like our aliens were in real danger of being exposed aside from maybe in the teen flashback when Rosa died. And that feels like it should be integral to the story, especially since they do bring it up a lot for it never actually being a real problem in the narrative.

And then there’s the relationships. Raelle and Scylla are the main ship of course in Motherland so they get all the good angst and focus, but they, like Malex, have been apart a lot but they’ve never tried to bring in third parties for extra unnecessary drama. And they’ve always let them have these great reunions that feel so earned even if they’ve spent entire seasons technically apart. And then Abigail and Adil are technically a more secondary ship but they’ve had plenty of focus as well and so much growth both individually and as a couple, even including Khalida feeling like family to Abigail at this point. It’s all really well done. And aside from the romantic relationships, the unit are so close and their friendship and sense of found family is so strong in a way that Roswell just fails on so much, and characters like Adil and Scylla and Anacostia and even Alder etc just slot into that so well.

Maybe it’s because there’s more of a sense of character hierarchy that makes it work because all of the Roswell characters are kind of fighting each other for screen time instead of naturally slotting into their rightful places. But even when all of the Roswell characters, particularly this season and last are working together, they still all feel so separate and their are so many individual friendships that are lacking.

Liz and Maria should be best friends, they should constantly be checking in with each other and they have maybe like one or two crumbs of scenes together a season. Liz and Alex are supposed to be friends and they’ve had like five scenes together in four seasons. Maria and Alex are supposed to be best friends, which they did okay with in the first part of season one and then made it weird and then never really repaired that friendship in any meaningful way on screen. It took till literally this season for people to actually acknowledge that Michael and Alex are a serious thing. Max and Alex literally didn’t have a scene together until last season. Kyle and Alex’s friendship was done so well in season one and then has just disappeared entirely since. Maria rarely interacts with Max. Maria rarely interacts with Kyle. They made such a big thing of Rosa being Kyle’s secret sister and then they’ve had like maybe four scenes together. Rosa and Michael are great but they rarely get to interact. I don’t think Rosa and Alex have ever had a scene together. Even like Maria and Isobel and Rosa had such a great thing going last season but basically nothing this season. There’s just such a lack of consistency, it’s infuriating. It makes any kind of relationship arc really hard to track or invest in.

Whereas on Motherland, there are such distinct journeys for all of the relationships. The romantic ones obviously, but also Raelle and Abigail, the Bellweather unit as a whole, Tally with Alder, Abigail with Alder, Petra with Alder, Abigail and Scylla, Tally and Scylla, Khalida and Abigail, Anacostia and Scylla, Anacostia and Alder, Anacostia and the unit etc etc. And it feels like all of that is coming together in the final season. Anacostia is using Scylla’s work, Tally and Abigail are trusting Alder, Abigail and Tally are letting Scylla in and boding with her etc.

The characters on Roswell are so good and the relationship are there to work with and yet....I’m constantly shocked when Liz actually talks to people other than Max...

Sigh...I feel like there’s about four people who might actually crossover with both shows and understand all of this but I just...have feelings. And I don’t want either show to be ending but I’m grateful to Motherland for being as good as it has been with what it’s had to work with.

(also...the mythology and world building on Motherland...so much better and less messy than Roswell. At least they bothered to create a witch language rather than name people Jones and Bonnie and Clyde and call an alien planet the Oasis)

(also, Motherland only has ten episodes to work with instead of 13 and they usually do better to tell a much tighter story that doesn’t feel like they just drop things half way or rush other things)

Okay...I’m done with my rant now.

#roswell new mexico #motherland fort salem

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absolutebl · 4 years ago

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This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.)

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow.

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day.

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story.

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have...

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here.

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL.

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger.

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution. * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad?

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count).

Gossip - Thai BL

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail.

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking),

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked),

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories).

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay...

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good.

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch.

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun.

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?)

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow.

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA...

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU!

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three.

Breaking News

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates)

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer.

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations.

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual.

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

148 notes · View notes

on-maars · 4 years ago

Text

The Getaway

Just another buddie fic, 4k, hope you’ll like it :)

Read it on AO3

Eddie is seated on the couch, his eyes barely glancing at the TV broadcasting an old episode of Friends. He turned it on a few minutes ago, hoping it would take his mind off things. He’s probably watched that episode a dozen of times already but anything is better than the big, gaping hole in his chest and the turmoil of feelings banging against each other in his head.

It’s a quiet night. Christopher’s already in bed and Buck just left a few minutes ago. For his date. With Taylor. His new girlfriend.

And it’s fine. It’s great, even. The timing is just not right. Or maybe it is. Maybe Eddie’s just the one who took too much time to realize what was right in front of him. Maybe Eddie’s just the one who messed things up. It wouldn’t be the first time, after all. He’s used to it, by now. In fact, he only seems to get better at it as the years go by.

“Why are you looking so sorry for yourself?”

It’s his Abuela talking. She just came back from the kitchen with an herbal tea in one hand and a plate with a few biscuits in the other. It’s nice – Eddie thinks. Spending time with her. After everything that happened, it’s a relief to have a comforting presence in the house, aside from Christopher.

And Eddie told Buck it was fine. He told him he could take care of himself for a few hours while he’s on a date with Taylor but Eddie’s just glad his best-friend didn’t take no for an answer and called Abuela anyway. Because the truth is, it’s not fine. The truth is when nighttime falls and darkness slowly settles upon the living-room, nothing distracts him from the wormhole of fear and despair that is his mind.

“Nothing, Abuela.” He says. “Don’t worry about me.” He adds, and gives her the most convincing smile he can muster. But his Abuela’s no fool. Eddie can pretend alright throughout the day, tell easy lies, fake smiles, anything to avoid any awkward conversations, anything to avoid talking about what really matters, at heart. Eddie’s good at it. He’s been doing that for years, in fact. But the quiet of the night makes it harder to pretend.

Still, he says:

“Everything’s fine.”

“No it’s not, nieto.” His abuela answers, patting him a few times on the cheek. “Does it have something to do with that boy of yours?” She asks, and Eddie chuckles lightly, lowering his eyes to the ground. The tightness of his chest only intensifies, as it always does when conversations get too close to the truth.

“He’s not my boy.” He only answers, squirming uncomfortably on the couch, ignoring the way his shoulder screams his pain at the movement. He winces but closes his eyes fiercely, letting the warmth of Abuela’s presence comforts him.

“But you wish he could be.” She remarks and Eddie rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed.

He’s never been really good at it. Talking about his feelings. Talking about what’s inside him, about what’s important. And he doesn’t really know how Buck managed to bypass that shell, he doesn’t really know how Buck managed to weave its way into the cracks of the wall Eddie erected around himself along the years but it’s too late, now. He let him in. He let him in and Eddie’s never felt so vulnerable.

“It doesn’t matter.” He says after a few seconds. “He’s happy.” He adds, and looks down once again. “That’s all I want for him. To be happy. And if that means watching him with her, then I-” He sighs, and marks a pause. “It doesn’t matter.” He repeats.

He gets up from the couch and takes a few steps in the living-room, the cup of herbal tea long forgotten. He doesn’t go far, though. His abuela’s voice echoes in the house before he has the time to make it to the kitchen.

“Of course it matters, Eddito.” She says, her voice calm and soft. “You need to talk to him.”

“And what good would it do?” Eddie snaps, looking up at her. “To tell him?” He adds. “Look, abuela, I- I love you, alright? But let me handle this. Please.” He says, uncapping a beer and taking a sip, his back leaned against the kitchen counter.

“If I let you handle this, you’re just gonna bottle it all up and ignore it.” His abuela says and Eddie’s tight on his beer bottle tightens. “He worries about you, Eddie.” She adds.

Eddie whirls his head around and frowns. “He told you that?”

“On the phone.” She confirms. “That boy was ready to cancel his date to spend the evening with you, nieto. You’ll always be his priority. You and Christopher. You’ll always come first. Whatever he’s got going on with that reporter of his, it’s not gonna last.”

Eddie chuckles a bit at the dismissive tone of his Abuela. He shakes his head and puts his beer on the kitchen table. “Her name is Taylor, Abuela. She’s actually kind of n-”

The next few words die in his throat as he hears Buck opening the door, quietly, keeping the noise to a minimum. Buck gives him a warm smile and kisses his Abuela on the cheek before taking off his shoes next to the doormat and dropping his keys on the kitchen table like he always does. And that’s just another thing Eddie can’t help but notice; how comfortable Buck is around his house, wandering around and making this space his own, fitting in a way no other person did before. Not Ana.

Not even Shanon.

Eddie smiles back at him softly, and ignores the knowing look of his Abuela.

She takes a few steps towards him and pats him on the cheek another time, pressing a small kiss there. “Tell him.” She whispers against his ear before disappearing in the living-room.

---

Turns out his Abuela is right. If handling it means sulking and watching Buck as he gets more and more comfortable with his relationship with Taylor, then Eddie’s pretty sure he’s doing a great job. In fact, if the tightness of his throat and the tenseness of his chest occurring every time he sees Buck and Taylor together are any indication, Eddie would even say he excels at it.

“You know you don’t need to throw daggers at her every time she’s around.” Hen says quietly next to him one day, while they’re all reunited in the Grant-Nash household to celebrate his first day without a sling. “Like, I’m just saying. If you want to pretend like everything’s alright then at least be better at it.” She says.

Eddie sighs and starts scratching at the tag on his beer bottle. “What do you want me to do, Hen?” He asks. “He’s- he’s happy.”

Eddie looks up at Buck and watches him as he wraps his arm around Taylor’s waist, bringing her closer while he discusses something with Bobby near the barbecue, and from the way his hands keep motioning to the air around him, whatever his best-friend is saying seems to passionate him a lot.

A few seconds later, Taylor presses a small kiss to his cheek and moves away from them to join David and Michael. And Eddie doesn’t like it, the way she managed to weave her way into the 118 and their extended family in just a few months. He doesn’t like it but that’s just the jealousy talking so he sucks it up and plays it cool instead. He makes small talk. He laughs at her jokes. He’s polite. Maybe a bit too much, at times. But he’s trying. He’s trying while still making sure to keep his interactions with her at a minimum.

She’s not making it easy for him, though. No. She keeps coming. Over and over again like she’s trying to prove a point. And Eddie doesn’t know if her trying so hard comes from a place of real thoughtfulness or simple willingness to please Buck, but the thing still remains that she makes him happy. And if his best-friend is happy then Eddie doesn’t mind carrying the pain a bit while longer.

“Eddie?” Hen asks, her eyebrows raised and Eddie whirls his head around, bringing his attention back on his friend.

“Sorry.” He says apologetically. “I was- thinking.”

“I was just saying. It’s not gonna last.” She says and Eddie scoffs, remembering the words of his Abuela.

“Ditto.” Chimney adds, interfering in the conversation.

“You do sound sure of yourselves.” Eddie says, his eyebrows raised.

“Look, Taylor is awesome. But she’s not good for him. He’s different when he’s with her. Less free. Like he’s trying to perform.”

“Just like you with Ana, really.” Chimney adds, his mouth full of crisps. “Because you’re just two idiots who need to have everything spelled out for you.”

“Because you’re an expert in relationships, now?” Eddie asks sarcastically.

“Clearly I’m not.” Chimney answers. “But that’s just how embarrassingly obvious you two are.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie only says, throwing a crisp at Chimney’s head.

Hen looks like she wants to keep arguing but the next second, Buck jogs over them and takes a seat next to Eddie, pacing a comforting hand on his arm. Eddie smiles softly at him and nudges him playfully, finding comfort in Buck’s warm presence.

“You okay?” Buck asks, his voice soft. “How’s your shoulder?” He asks, worried.

“I’m fine Buck.” He answers. “Pretty sure they wouldn’t have removed the sling if I wasn’t.” He adds playfully.

“Yeah yeah I know.” Buck smiles at him and marks a pause before adding, more seriously: “Just wanted to be sure.” He moves his hand from Eddie’s arm to his shoulder and trace small patterns on his exposed skin with his thumb. Eddie’s heart soars in his chest.

“So Buck.” Hen starts and from the tone of her voice, Eddie knows she’s up to something. “Everything’s okay with Taylor?”

It seems like a harmless question, an easy one that should come with an easy answer. Something Buck could dismiss with just a few words. Especially with Taylor only a few feet away from them. And that’s why Eddie’s surprised to hear the next few words coming out of Buck’s mouth.

“Yeah I-” Buck starts but marks a pause. “I don’t really know to be honest.” He says honestly and Eddie frowns.

“How come?” Chimney asks, throwing a pistachio nut in his mouth.

“She’s great.” Buck instantly answers like he’s trying to prove a point. “She really is and I like her but I’m just not sure if we want the same things you know. She’s- She’s very focused on her career, it’s always- it’s always gonna be her top priority and I’m never going to get in the way of that, I think it’s awesome but… Well, call me old school but I- I want a family.”

“You do have a family.” Eddie finds himself saying without thinking. A small smile breaks in on Buck’s face and he chuckles slightly, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“You know what I mean, Eds.” He adds.

I do – Eddie thinks. And I want it all with you.

“She doesn’t want kids?” Hen asks, and Eddie can’t help but exhales a small sigh of relief as Buck shakes his head slowly, his shoulders slumped down. Because that’s a deal-breaker for his best-friend and Eddie knows it.

“And that’s okay you know.” Buck adds. “I’m not gonna try and change her mind. That’s her choice. But I just can’t pretend to want the same thing. I want kids. And I know there’s already Christopher but I- I want something real.”

“This is real.” Eddie says before he can stop himself. And maybe he said too much. And from the snort Chimney lets out the next second, he realizes that yes he probably did, but Buck is watching him with so much attention Eddie finds it physically impossible to look away or force his mind to focus on something else than Buck’s eyes, eyes that seem to pierce through his very soul.

They shuttle back and forth, as if performing an internal scan of his face, until something eventually seems to click in Buck’s head and a flash of realization crosses his eyes. And just when Eddie expects his best-friend to say something, reject him awkwardly or express his confusion, Buck just gets up from his chair and walks away. Which – okay, Eddie definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Okay what just happened?” Hen asks.

“This was either the weirdest interaction I’ve ever witnessed or it’s just another one of their weird non-verbal communication.” Chimney answers.

“Well if it was, he was definitely talking to himself because I’m just as lost as you are.” Eddie intervenes, his eyes still fixed on Buck, watching him from afar. His best-friend whispers something against Taylor’s ear and she just nods, following him inside the house.

“Did they… Did they just leave?” Chimney asks, his eyes wide.

“Said it was an emergency.” Maddie nods, stepping outside the house, a confused expression plastered all over her face. “Looks like he had just seen a ghost.” She adds.

And this just leaves Eddie more confused than he was five minutes ago.

---

When Eddie goes back home with Christopher, it’s already quite late in the afternoon and Eddie’s now standing in front of the stove, trying his very best to follow his Abuela’s chicken soup recipe to the letter. Cooking’s never really been his area of expertise and he’s pretty sure he’s just going to mess it all up like he always does but he promised Christopher he would try, and it doesn’t matter how much his son grew, Eddie’s still unable to refuse any of his favors.

Buck would usually be the one cooking. Eddie usually just sits there, watching him and making sure he doesn’t forget a step from the recipe. Tonight is different, though. Buck’s been unreachable ever since he left that gathering and Eddie’s just too damn scared to take his car and drive to Buck’s loft.

“I don’t understand why Buck isn’t here, dad.” Christopher says, taking a few steps inside the kitchen. “He’s late and it’s movie night. He promised me we would finally watch the first Harry Potter movie. I even prepared the DVD. When is he coming?” He asks and Eddie lets go of the spatula, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“I don’t know, mijo.” He says.

“Well why don’t you text him?” Christopher asks and Eddie quickly takes his phone from his back-pocket, checking his messages for what might be the tenth time in an hour. Nothing.

“I did.” Eddie says. “But he’s not answering at the moment. He must be busy.” He adds, and his chest tenses. Because maybe Buck did understand what Eddie was trying to say back there. Maybe he did and maybe him walking away and leaving the house is just the way for him to make Eddie understand that nothing can ever happen between them. Maybe his Abuela, Hen and Chimney were all wrong, maybe Eddie did manage to ruin the best relationship he’s ever had in his entire life. Maybe that’s just another thing he can add to the list of all the things he failed.

Eddie shakes his head and takes a deep breath, biting his lower lip and holding back the tears already gathering in his eyes. “Get it together, Diaz.” He whispers to himself and stirs the soup that definitely doesn’t smell the same way than when Buck does it.

“But hey, it’s still fun if it’s just the two of us, right?” Eddie manages to articulate through gritted teeth.

“Yeah I guess. But he’s probably just late, dad.” Christopher says behind him. “He’d never miss a movie night.”

Or maybe he’s just not coming – Eddie thinks, but says nothing and nods weakly at his son instead. Christopher keeps smiling at him without a care in the world, his eyes fixed on their door, probably only waiting for Buck to finally step in. And that’s when Eddie realizes how badly he screwed up. Because he didn’t only ruin that relationship for himself, but most importantly he ruined it for his son. His son, who he knows sees Buck as another father figure. His son who loves Buck just as much as he does. What is he gonna tell him? That he was too weak to keep his feelings for himself? That he had to go and find a way to destroy the most stable relationship they’ve had in years? He can’t do that.

But just when his brain is about to spiral in endless direction, the door finally opens and Buck steps in, a huge smile on his face, the same cheerful, bright and sparkling attitude.

“Bucky!” Christopher exclaims, running towards him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders once Buck is squatted down in front of him. “You’re late.” He says with a reproachful tone.

“I know, I’m sorry buddy.” Buck answers apologetically. “I just needed to do something very important first. And then I went to the bookshop to buy this for you.” He adds, and Eddie watches him as he takes a book about space from his bag. “Look. The lady from the store told me it was a really good one.”

“Thanks Bucky.” Christopher only says, his eyes already scanning the different pages.

“I bought one for me too so we can discuss it together!” Buck says with a large smile and Eddie knows he’s just as excited as his son to start reading that new book and that’s enough to bring a small smile to his face.

“Dad was afraid you wouldn’t come.” Christopher says out of the blue and Eddie suddenly feels very small, and exposed. Buck looks up at him and smiles softly, ruffling Christopher’s hair before standing up.

“Are you kidding?” He says with his eyes wide, looking affronted. “I’d never miss a movie night with my favorite Diaz boys.

“That’s what I told him.” Christopher replies, nodding his head energetically. “But he can be very dumb sometimes.” He adds and Eddie lets out a small chuckle, his right hand gripping the edge of the table, so tight his knuckles go white.

His brain is working too fast for his head to catch up and he has no idea what’s going on but then Buck takes a few steps towards him and cups his cheeks with his hands to press a small kiss to his forehead and well – that’s enough for Eddie to lose all his composure. He wraps his arms around his shoulders and hold him close, burying his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling Buck’s aftershave. “I thought I had fucked up so bad I was going to lose you.” He whispers against his best-friend’s skin without thinking, letting out a sigh of relief when Buck only brings him a little closer.

“Yeah to be honest I didn’t really think of how that would look until I was back in my loft with Taylor.” He says and Eddie wants nothing more but to ask what that means but thinks better of it and quickly regains composure when he notices Christopher is still there in the kitchen, his eyes shuttling back and forth between the two of them. “You’re trying to cook, Diaz?” Buck eventually asks after a few seconds, his eyes falling on the soup still warming up in the pan. “Sure it’s a good idea?” He adds, his eyebrows raised.

“Shut up.” Eddie says, tapping him on the neck in a playful manner.

“It’s just that I don’t particularly want to die of food poisoning tonight.” Buck goes on and Eddie sighs, raising his hand in surrender and stepping aside to give him space to cook.

“I’m gonna prepare everything in the living-room.” Christopher says excitedly. “Buck, did you bring the popc-”

“In my bag.” Buck says without letting him finish his sentence.

“And the cand-”

“With the popcorn.” He nods and Eddie rolls his eyes at him, but his lips already start turning up at the edges. Christopher quickly disappears from the kitchen with Buck’s bag in his hand and Eddie leans against the kitchen counter, glancing at his best-friend from times to times.

The room is quiet now, without Chris. Buck is focused on the soup, stirring it and adding the spices, tasting it every now and then to make sure it doesn’t miss anything. Eddie would usually find it comforting, seeing Buck so at ease in his kitchen, but this time it fills him with a fearful anticipation.

“You know, we could have talked about it.” Buck says out of the blue and Eddie draws a sharp intake of breath, knowing what’s coming.

“Talked about what?” Eddie answers and Buck rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief.

“This.” He simply answers. “Us.” He says, and Eddie starts peeling off the tag on his beer bottle. He stays silent for a few seconds, desperately racking his brain trying to find something to say but Buck beats him to it:

“You always do that when you’re nervous.” He says, and Eddie instantly looks down at his hands. “And then you always avert your eyes because you hate looking at people in the eye when a conversation gets a bit too close to the truth.” He goes on and Eddie sighs, putting the bottle on the table and forcing himself to keep his face neutral.

But still, he can feel Buck’s eyes on him and here it is again, the sensation that no matter what he does, no matter how much he tries to hide, Buck will always be able to see right through him.

“I just think it’s funny.” Buck says after a while and Eddie finally looks up at him, frowning in confusion. “You always say you’re not good with words, Eddie, but I never felt like you needed to be. Because your face always says all I need to know.” He adds and Eddie has to physically force himself to hold Buck’s gaze. It’s not easy, though, and he suspects his best-friend knows it because he smiles softly at him the next second, like he’s proud, or happily surprised.

“Yeah well.” Eddie says as an attempt to dismiss the importance of what Buck just said but his best-friend straight up laughs at him and Eddie cradles his chin with his right hand and forces him to look away. “Focus on that soup, Buckley.”

“I don’t think I can salvage your poor attempt at cooking this time, Diaz.” He teases him and Eddie simply rolls his eyes at him.

Buck stirs the soup a bit more and brings the spatula to Eddie’s face, his other hand placed under his chin, his fingers brushing past his skin. Eddie opens his mouth to taste the soup but is so taken aback by the gesture that he needs a few seconds to gather his thoughts.

“It’s- it’s good.” Eddie says, his voice low.

“Of course it is.” Buck answers, unimpressed. “It’s your Abuela’s recipe.” He adds. “It’s nearly ready.”

Eddie nods and lifts himself to sit on the kitchen counter, letting his eyes wander across Buck’s face. His best-friend seems very focused on the task at hand and as he opens the drawer to grab three bowls, Eddie thinks to himself that maybe it’s time for him to be brave as well.

“Maybe now’s a good time to talk about it?” He finds himself asking, with a trembling voice. Buck whirls his head around and looks at him, his eyes a little wider than usual. “Would- would that be okay?”

“Yeah.” Buck breathes with a smile. "Course it would"

“You think- you think that would work?” Eddie asks, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “Us?” He precises. “Is that- is that even a thing I’m allowed to think about?”

“I broke up with Taylor.” Buck blurts out and Eddie looks up at him.

“Because of what I said back there?” Eddie dares asking after a few seconds, his eyes filled with hope.

“Because of what you said.” Buck nods and takes a step forward. “I always know how to read you Eddie and yet until- until this afternoon, I was so far away from thinking that you might actually- that you might be-”

“I’m in love with you.” Eddie blurts out, cutting him off, and he knows he said the right thing when Buck lets out a small laugh and looks down at the ground, smiling sheepishly.

“Finally.” Eddie hears a little voice saying behind him. It’s Christopher talking and he sounds exasperated, and remarkably unimpressed. “I was wondering when you two would figure it out. Carla told me it would happen very soon but I wasn’t sure.” He says, pressing his hands on his face while a small sigh escapes his lips. “I guess she was right.”

Buck’s smile only gets a bit bigger as he watches Christopher in amazement. He shakes his head in disbelief but quickly brings back his attention towards Eddie and leans towards him to press their lips together for what is barely even a kiss because they’re both smiling too big and their teeth keep clanking together. Yet Eddie wouldn’t have it any other way. He brings Buck closer by putting his hands on the back of his neck and sighs in relief when Buck places his own hands on his lower back, tilting his head to kiss him with a better angle.

“I knew you’d be gross like that.” Chris says with a sigh and Eddie chuckles against Buck’s lips. “But that’s okay, I guess. As long as I’m still your favorite Diaz.” He adds, looking at Buck who only smiles a bit bigger.

“You’ll always be number 1, superman.”

“Dad is number 2, then?” Christopher asks and Buck shakes his head.

“Number 4.” He corrects him. “Pepa and your Abuela obviously come first.” He says, earning a small laugh from Christopher.

“Traitor.” Eddie mutters under his breath but Buck captures his mouth another time in a gentle kiss, and Eddie suddenly forgets how to think.

“If you don’t hurry, I’m starting the movie without you.” Christopher says while disappearing from the kitchen.

“Dinner coming right up, superman.” Buck instantly says, turning around to fill the three bowls with the soup, placing them on a tray afterwards. He looks up at Eddie and his hands motion to the air around him, chasing him out of the kitchen.

Eddie gladly accepts and as he takes a seat next to Christopher on the couch, he can still hear Buck busying himself around the kitchen and a bright smile breaks in on his face.

Yeah – he thinks. I can get used to that.

#it's kinda bad #but you know #i tried #buddie #buddie fic #buck x eddie #911 #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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hallowxiu · 4 years ago

Text

Mammon the Avatar of... Cats?

pairing: mammon x gn!mc

word count: 1.8k

summary: Mammon isn't exactly known for making the best decisions, so it doesn't come as a surprise when you walk into Satan's room and find a cat sitting in a pile of Mammon's clothes.

Hands on your hips, you stare down at the man in front of you. “Mammon,” his name comes as a sigh that leaves your lips, “how did this happen?” Everything in the universe was shouting at you not to ask the demon, that you probably were better off not knowing, but since when did you listen to decent advice since moving into the House of Lamentation?

Of course, Mammon didn’t answer you- well, it was more like he couldn’t answer you, because right at your feet was Mammon… as a cat. You press your lips together in a thin line, glancing down at the pile of his discarded clothes before darting your gaze around the room. “I feel like I’m in a Fruits Basket episode if I’m being honest.” Mammon didn’t know what you were talking about. You weren’t surprised. You bend down and scoop the white and gray cat into your arms. You were currently standing in Satan’s room, the whereabouts of the demon unknown. You chased the second oldest demon in here after he explained to you an idea of his that would surely go wrong. The goal was easy, as Mammon described it. He would “borrow” an ancient book of Satan’s and then sell it to an obsessed witch. You attempted to tell him why this was a bad idea, but he wasn’t having any of it. So you chased him in an attempt to stop him, but before you could do anything you witnessed the demon trip over one of the many books scattered on the floor, which then promptly turned him into a cat. The issue was, you tried getting Mammon to touch the same book that turned him into a cat, only for nothing to happen afterward.

“It would seem that you’re stuck as a cat.” He meows in response and you huff quietly. You shift the cat in your arms, wrap the book up in Mammon’s discarded clothes so that you wouldn’t make contact with it, and leave the room with both in hand. “We should probably hunt down Satan, he might know how to turn you back. And since you can’t talk, I guess I’ll have to be the one to explain your situation.” Which might work to Mammon’s advantage as Satan did hold somewhat of a soft spot for you in comparison to his older brother.

An hour has passed since Mammon transformed into a cat and you’ve had no luck in finding the fourth born. “I don’t remember him saying he had any kind of business today, but Satan can be elusive when he wants to be.” You look down to where Mammon’s trailing alongside you, having ditched the comfort of your arms only half an hour ago. You figured he was getting restless and pacing around would help ease him. “I wouldn’t worry too much about your predicament. Most of the curses and spells attached to his books only last a day or two at the most.” It was slightly disappointing that he couldn’t speak as a cat; it made things a little lonely. You could only imagine how frustrating it was for him. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to find a way to pass the time until you shift back.” Abruptly, you turn on your heels to face Mammon. “I could brush your fur? Give you treats? Take you on a walk? What do cats like; honestly this would be much easier with Satan, he seems like the type to know what cats would like to do.” You tap your foot as you think to yourself, Mammon just gazing up at you in return. “You probably wouldn’t like any of that anyway.” A sigh leaves your lips and you find yourself walking down the hall once again. “Well, we should be okay as long as Lucifer doesn’t--”

“Lucifer doesn’t what?” You freeze in place, squeezing your eyes shut as you let out another sigh. Great, that’s just what you needed.

“Um,” you turn around to face the eldest born who managed to sneak up behind you, “nothing.” You quickly scoop Mammon back up into your arms. Lucifer looks between you and Mammon a few times.

“Why do you have a cat? Pets are forbidden here, I’ve told you that time and time again.”

“This isn’t my pet.”

“It certainly looks like one to me.”

“Well--”

“Did Satan put you up to this again?”

“What? No.” You shift uncomfortably under Lucifer’s intense gaze. It’s then that he glances at Mammon’s bundled up clothes under your arm that resemble the shape of a book.

“It’s Mammon, isn’t it? The cat.” A nervous smile breaks out across your lips. “Let me guess,” the demon rakes his bored gaze over the cat that can’t seem to stand still in your arms, “the idiot tried to steal something from Satan’s room and tripped over a cursed book which then turned him into a cat. Is that correct?”

“That would be… correct.” You say carefully. You glance down at Mammon and mouth ‘sorry’.

“Well, how fortunate for the two of you.” There’s a wicked smile that plays out on Lucifer’s face and you find yourself taking a step back. “I just happen to be an avid cat lover myself. I’m sure Satan wouldn’t mind me watching over him until he returns home to give him a… proper punishment.” You exchange a quick, horrified look with Mammon. “If you plan on running away with him, Satan might be forced to think that you were a part of Mammon’s idiotic plan as well. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” You were beginning to think that Lucifer had a little too much fun scaring his younger brother. And you, too.

“It’s not worth it,” Belphegor says as he passes the three of you in the hall, Beelzebub in tow. “Don’t let Mammon drag you into trouble for something you had no part of.” Beelzebub nods thoughtfully along to his twin’s words.

“We’re going out to get some food. Do you want to come with us?” Beelzebub offers but you quickly shake your head. Even though Mammon was in the wrong, you’d feel at least a little bad throwing him to the wolves.

“Suit yourself.” Belphegor snorts as he and his brother disappear around the corner.

“Um… I actually thought of a punishment myself for Mammon.” You timidly speak up once looking over at the oldest brother. Lucifer raises an eyebrow at this though says nothing, silently prompting you to continue. “Er, I was going to, uh, bathe him. Cats hate water, you know. Plus he smells, I think it’s been a while since his last shower.” You quickly lean back when a paw shoots up towards your face. A chuckle leaves Lucifer’s lips.

“If that’s what you want, then go ahead. I’ll tell Satan that you gave him a proper punishment when he returns home, but don’t be surprised if that’s not good enough for him. He wasn’t exactly in the best of spirits when he left this morning.”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me!” You shriek as you barely avoid Mammon’s claws. “You’re the one who got yourself into this mess! If I didn’t offer to give you a bath, who knows what Lucifer would be doing with you right now. I can promise this is a much better ending for you.” You test the running bath water, making sure that it wouldn’t be too hot for him. You knew as a demon he could handle drastic temperature changes, but you weren’t sure if being a cat changed any of that. Were Devildom cats any different from human realm cats? You’d have to ask Satan about that later.

You quickly pick up Mammon before he can run out of the bathroom, and glanced between his face and the tub, wondering if he’d even let you place him in the water. “Are you going to let me put you in gently or am I going to have to toss you in?” His large blue eyes stare at you. “I’m going to put you in the water now… please behave.” You hated this. This was just as much of a punishment for you as it was for Mammon. You were never much of a cat person, and you’d never attempted to bath one before. You should have just left with Beelzebub and Belphegor when you had the chance. You carefully lower Mammon into the water, which, expectedly, went as well as you thought it would. He was flailing in your arms, claws digging into your skin, and just overall avoiding the bathwater. “Mammon! Don’t be so difficult!” When you do get him in the water it’s almost worse. Water is going everywhere as Mammon tries to scramble out of the tub, but only submerges himself further in the water the more he panics. “I should have brought thick gloves for this.” A sigh leaves you as you lean over and carefully hold Mammon up so that he doesn’t accidentally drown himself. “Pull yourself together, Mammon.”

It was halfway through the bath that you ran into your second dilemma. “Do I use pet shampoo on you or human shampoo? Would that make your skin break out?” Mammon only stares at you with narrowed eyes. “Um… maybe just getting you wet is good enough for now.” Sporting a sheepish smile, you lift him out of the water so that you can dry him off. “That wasn’t so bad, right--”

Of course, this would be the moment that the spell chose to wear off.

You’re surrounded by a white mist, and the cat you were once holding feels a lot less… like a cat. It’s when the mist finally clears out of the room that you’re faced with a stark naked Mammon who’s leaning halfway out of the tub with your hands hooked under his arms. The two of you stare at one another in silence before you both let out a blood-curdling scream, each of you desperately scrambling to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

“How did the punishment go?” Lucifer’s sipping on his coffee with a barely concealed coy smile. Belphegor is lazily applying colorful bandaids all over your arms to cover up the scratches Mammon gave you during the bath, the two of you sitting on the couch in the living room. Mammon’s on the opposite side of the room, crouched in the corner with his back facing the rest of the room, his red face hiding behind his hands.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You mutter out with wide eyes.

“Hm? Talk about what?” It’s at that moment that Satan walks through the door with a puzzled expression on his face. “Oh my, why are you covered in bandaids?”

“Funny you should ask.” Lucifer takes another sip of his hot drink before looking over to Mammon. “Maybe you should ask your idiot brother for more details.”

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