#the otp has to otp themselves or what is the point

[olderthannetfic]

Having been forcibly subjected to a few dozen rounds of proship wank, I have no choice but to conclude that no proshipper is truly proship. Every time someone points out any hypocrisy or flawed logic or uncivil behaviour from a proshipper or a proship community, everyone flocks around to say that they're not *really* proship, because REAL proshippers would never do such a thing or hold suck a belief.

As far as I can tell, the only people who actually meet the definition of the true meaning of proship are the crusty old radicals who laugh at the term. One of your regulars has a line about being "secret third thing: too hardcore for proshippers"? Yeah, that.

No proshipper would ever make a negative assumption about someone's tastes in fic. So all the ones who do aren't really proship.

No proshipper would ever mock someone for their squicks. All the ones who do are acutally just antis.

No proshipper would ever insist that people must ship their OTP. So all the ones who do aren't really proship.

No proshipper would ever send flames. So all the ones that are getting into flamewars with antis are actually just antis themselves.

And some of them are even directly contradictory, like how no proshipper would ever assume that a darkfic is the author coping with trauma, but also every proshipper understands that darkfic is a necessary trauma coping mechanism.

You bundle all that No True Scotsman stuff together and are left with literally nothing. The sum of all these parts is "no proshipper would ever do anything ever"

The word is utterly meaningless, you see someone say their proship and it's a [three siced] cointoss if they mean "I'm against cyberbullying" or "I like darkfic" or "I like picking fights with trolls".

Bonus cointoss for if the "I like darkfic" ones mean "I like THIS darkfic, but that THAT darkfic is Bad Ackshually" or "I like darkfic and you're Bad Ackshually if you're squiked by it"

And I'll agree that the "proship doesn't extend to ~icky~ things like 5 year age gaps and RPF!" idiots really are just antis, but there are so god damn many of them that they've undermined what the words mean.

The only True Proshippers are the oldschool kinktomato guys, and they're getting harassed for not using the term "proship"!

--

[thatbuddie]

i know we’ve been saying this for so long but like, this is almost unprecedented, y’all. normally when you want queer characters and queer relationships you have to SEARCH for them. you go into shows knowing they have lgbt+ rep and ships. especially for m/m otps. they’re planned beforehand. they are introduced with the idea of “these characters are achillean and will get together.”

but this? buck? i can assure you no one on the 911 team thought he would be introduced as bisexual at any point. but the truth is, just like it happens in real life for so many bisexual people (and queer people in general), he’s found himself. he’s found his truth, his light. he’s realizing this was always who he was even if he did not understand it before or have the words to express it properly. we’ve watched a character organically grow into one of the best (if not the best) representations of a bisexual individual there has ever been on tv.

and buddie? oh my god don’t get me started on buddie. they bloomed. they’ve happened organically. they were never ever ever supposed to be what they are. and yet here we are, 6 seasons later, knowing we are getting there. knowing they are each other’s heart and soul. knowing they will be together not because execs created them to be together but because they make sense. finally there has been a show brave enough to see the magic and beauty of what they themselves created. they’re taking a chance on them, on us, and i think there will never be anything else to top this.

we should enjoy this. we should savor it. this is special. a once in a lifetime kind of thing (just like buck and eddie are living their once in a lifetime love story.)

[paracosmicka]

i've contemplated sending u an ask here for like 2 days regarding ur sonadow art and oufhgh i have to say it is so,, so gentle like the intimacy and softness of it all/pos i hardly see artists that explore the intimate cuddly drawings without the sexual coding so finding your art is so nice?? like refreshing nice as an aroace person bc in my perfect world, many little guys are just cat coded and it's so so cool to me to have found ur art out in the wild also for the mpreg stuff youre literally one of the most normal ppl i've seen draw/bring it up lol, i'm aware so many ppl like to meme on it or make it a fetish which tbh is pretty transphobic, so i'm just really glad you steered it away from that direction and displayed it as something normal and gentle given the context of the au/lh

first off thank you this is such a nice message and i love that people also feel the vibes of soft and intimate from my sonadow art that’s my only ever goal whenever i drew them 😭😭

second off FELLOW AROACE PERSON ACQUIRED 🫵‼️like omg you get it i love thinking about ships in a cat coding way if that makes sense but especially sonadow bc they’re animals so i just love thinking about them as little guys i can put in my pocket just like my cat

like idk if this is an aroace thing bc i don’t hear it described in a way that i relate to exactly so this might just be me but basically: i’ve always loved romance and ships in fiction but as i got older i slowly realized that i don’t think i can feel it for myself. which kinda made me sad at first because the idea of having a partner always seemed so nice, that was the main reason i didn’t think i was aroace at first because i thought i had always wanted to be in a relationship. i did some research and looked into different identities on the aroace spectrum, and thought that cupioromantic was probably the most accurate to what i was feeling, but later didn’t feel like it applied to me because i think the “enjoys the idea of being in a relationship” doesn’t fit right? ig?? idk how to describe it other than i like the idea of relationships, but it took me awhile to realize that i didn’t really want to apply myself in one if that makes sense.

most likely there’s a thing or word out there that already exists to describe that and i just haven’t been looking up the right terms, but basically this is just a very very long way of saying that i feel like whenever i get into a ship it sorta..…attaches?? to my very identity or something?? like i know people can be like “this is my OTP i love them forever and think about them literally all the time” and it’s like YES that’s me but also feels like an understatement, like all of my past hyperfixations on ships are literally ingrained into my soul even i’m not that into them anymore. and i know people compare hyperfixations to relationships and tbh that’s probably the most accurate description but again, that feels like an understatement.

okay honestly idk where i’m going with this i think what i’m TRYING to say is that i feel like because i can’t feel romance for myself my appreciation for ships feels so much more…emphasized, and sonadow is like the longest consistent hyperfixation i’ve ever had on a ship and at that point usually when something has been a “hyperfixation” for 2+ plus years i put it on the special interest display case in my brain except that display case has only ever had like hobbies and fandoms themselves, never an actual fictional relationship that i’m obsessed with but here we are. it might be the development of brain has synched up with this specific hyperfixation but sonadow is the first ship that makes me feel genuinely happy to this degree. it doesn’t make me sad to think about them and also go “aw i’m sad because i’ve never felt that way about another person and probably won’t experience that ever” in the exact same way you would go “aw i’m going to be dead someday” when you think about the fact that you’re alive right now and conscious and exist and have a mini existential crisis of the week. like sonadow doesn’t do that to me, i really just love those stupid fucking gay hedgehogs so much they’ve actually changed the entire layout of my brain and all the neurons and shit they’re everything to me.

ANYWAY JESUS CHRIST sorry for the ramble uhhhh lemme know if you or any other aroace people know what the fuck i was trying to say there hope you’re doing well and also happy new year!!!

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Reversing Victim and Offender

Okay, okay, hear me out.

Jack being a creepy manipulative yandere.

Yes, yes, I know, totally a revolutionary idea there to have a yandere horror game’s antagonist do something creepy and wrong. It’s just that I don’t often play with Jack losing himself to his more depraved impulses. Long time readers know I tend to be quite a marshmallow who prefers the fluffier side of things, as evidenced by many cuddly posts of my OTP and Sunshine in Hell being overall a softer version of the game, but sometimes it’s fun to watch the world burn and see the characters we love get to be a bit unhinged. As a treat.

Content Warning: this post is about Jack being a naughty manipulative yandere, attempted murder, influenced attempted self-murder, possession, mental manipulation, bloody violence, and a sprinkle of horny.

We know Jack can be a manipulative little devil when it comes to keeping his sunshine. We’ve seen him use his honeyed words to lure MC into his arms in the previous demos. We’ve seen the classic chilling concept art where he talks his rival(?) into doing the dirty work for him when he wants them gone.

Credit as always goes to Sauce for their awesome art, as well as a quick plug to the SnaccPop Patreon. Speaking of the Patreon, there’s a members only post on this very topic, an absolutely chilling audio drama of Jack using his state as a ghost(?) to his advantage.

It seems that Jack has the ability to possess people, and his modus operandi in eliminating his rivals seems to be tormenting them to the point of self-harm. Nick received a taste of that in the older demo, and in the now removed trailer.

But what if the person Jack directed his rival to hurt wasn’t themselves?

Jack is of the opinion that MC’s friends (and potential love interests) are inferior to him, as we’ve seen in his profile. MC doesn’t need them, as Jack says in this unsettling animation by Sauce, as well as many other development art. He proves this by giving MC whatever they want and need, being whatever they want and need him to be. No one else would do that for MC, so that proves that the only one they need is him.

To some degree, MC seems to believe that, at least during the early part of the game. As we can see in the “No” route, MC is dependent on Jack, panicking when they can no longer touch him.

The idea of losing Jack terrifies MC.

What happened to Jack clearly disturbed him, as we saw by his haunted look, but perhaps he found some comfort in the fact that MC was so upset by it. It might at least reassure him that they care, even if it might not be as much as he wants them to.

As I’ve theorized in previous posts, Jack and MC seem to be able to sense each other’s feelings, and it was implied that Jack can read their mind, as well as impress his thoughts into theirs. Perhaps he even felt their fear and desperation at that moment… as well as their need to keep him.

As scary as that moment was, Jack might have been able to get some pleasure out of feeling his sunshine’s need for him, don’t you think?

Jack won’t disappear as long as MC needs him, and he doesn’t want them to feel unhappy or hurt, but wouldn’t being with other people trying to steal them away from him hurt them more in the long run? MC doesn’t see what Jack does, how much of a threat those rivals other “friends” are.

After all… Ian was someone MC once held so dear, and he hurt them so, so badly. He’s trying to come back into their lives, and MC clearly still cares about him even if they’re trying to move on. How can Jack just stand idly by and let MC get hurt again when they don’t see just how bad Ian is for them?

MC might not be able to see how Ian and the other love interests could hurt them, but perhaps Jack could show his beloved sunshine just how cruel they can be.

Of course, Jack doesn’t want MC to get hurt. He would never! But, well, some lessons can be a bit harsher than others. Learning them can sting a bit and even make us upset, but as long as the lesson doesn’t do lasting harm and improves things for them, well, then it’s a good lesson!

Besides, this lesson will hurt Jack more than it hurts MC… in the most literal sense.

This classic audio drama of Jack’s villainous monologue makes me think that he’ll eventually find a way to become much more tangible in the real world. Sure, he could be saying all this while possessing his rival, but it seems more like a face-to-face confrontation. Naturally, for a face-to-face confrontation, Jack would need a face that’s actually visible to the person he’s taunting.

Perhaps the closer Jack gets to MC, the more they love him, the more real he becomes. It could be a reversal of what happened in the “No” route. If that were to happen, Jack could converse with other people directly… and perhaps convince them to leave MC to him.

If they just won’t go away, well… Jack could always push their buttons, upset them to the point that they have violent urges, only these feelings would be directed at him.

While MC is there to see that person unleash their bloody rage on Jack, of course.

As we’ve seen in earlier concept art, Jack didn’t feel pain when being stabbed, and perhaps that might still be true. But MC doesn’t need to know that when Jack says he’s okay and that it doesn’t hurt, it really doesn’t. All they see is Ian, Shaun, Nick, or whoever else suddenly snapping and attacking Jack with a knife for no apparent reason at all, leaving him bloody and wounded in front of them, trying to act brave for their sake like he did in the “no” route.

Jack doesn’t want MC to be unhappy, but perhaps he might get to enjoy a guilty thrill if they got upset for his sake, especially if he could feel them being so protective over him. Their worry for his injuries and outrage that he was attacked… You could say that it’s another way for his sunshine to show him just how much they love him. It might even make him feel a bit more secure, more real.

Jack could even prep his target beforehand via possession, tormenting that person until they’re close to snapping. In the now gone trailer, Shaun sounds unhinged, saying what he’s doing is so wrong… Shaun sounds like someone pushed to do things he never thought himself capable of doing, and likely it was Jack who did the pushing.

All Jack has to do is pull the trigger at the right moment, when MC is there to see their other friend snap. He could use a phrase or gesture that seems so innocent as a means to torment them until they can no longer help themselves when they hear it. He could’ve urged them to carry a knife with them at all times.

Hell, Jack could’ve outright possessed their arm with his powers, unseen by everyone, to make his target stab him in front of MC.

So, as far as MC is aware, Jack being his typical friendly self, when all of a sudden their other friend loses their mind and stabs Jack, likely while shouting something unhinged. It paints a vivid bloody picture of their friend as the antagonist, and Jack as the innocent victim.

Even if the rival snaps out of it right afterward, horrified at what they had done, if Jack covered his tracks well enough, their protests would be empty. It’d just look like empty excuses.

Or perhaps they hate Jack, really hate him, but they have no solid evidence why Jack is a bad person. They could wind up digging the hole even deeper if they doubled down on their act of violence.

It would be really hard to claim that Jack is the dangerous entity when they were the one who suddenly stabbed Jack without apparent provocation after all. It’d just make them look even more unstable and dangerous.

Sure, it’d be an awful thing for MC to see, but at least they’re not the one that got attacked. Jack bravely made sure that he was the only one whose blood was spilled. He might not even really feel pain like they would if he can handle being stabbed, rotted, and bleeding and keep going, as some teasers and concept art have shown.

Personally I think Jack can feel pain, but it’s nothing compared to the 40 years of hell, or the fear of losing his sunshine.

A little pain is worth it to keep his sunshine. Forever.

The idea of losing Jack bloodlessly and painlessly is scary enough for MC. Seeing someone attack him, maybe even outright trying to kill him would be far, far worse. MC was so desperate to keep Jack from disappearing, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to expect that they would rush to his defense to save his life.

This is especially true if their feelings for Jack are so strong that he’s able to physically manifest now.

The moment would be a scarring memory for MC, but sometimes lessons can be harsh when we learn them. MC would at least know how inferior their other friends are compared to Jack, how harmful and dangerous they are. Those people don’t deserve to be in MC’s life, and it’s in their best interests to never see those people again.

Jack would also get to enjoy the perverse pleasure of knowing just how much MC cares about them, how much they love him. They could even nurse him back to health after they chase away that inferior friend for good. He can be pampered, appreciated, and loved. MC will better understand just how important Jack is to them, how much they need him, and how terrible the person who tried to take them away truly is.

Really, it goes to show that MC should listen to Jack more when he says he’s not so sure about them spending time with a particular person, don’t you think?

Of course, how well this ploy goes depends on MC’s compassion. Given what we’ve seen so far of the story, MC does care about Jack, and most people will at least be upset and alarmed that someone was stabbed in front of them. An MC that has strong feelings for Jack and deeply loves him will no doubt be enraged.

This sort of messed up scenario reminded me of how the Bad End AU went so horribly wrong, only Shaun and Ian knew to target the tape there, rather than Jack directly. Alice was hesitant to do more than plead for the three to stop, not wanting any of them to be hurt, and the result was the tape getting destroyed and Jack banished.

The altercation between them was vague, but what if we went down another dark path? What if Jack pushed Ian and Shaun, but they never found out about the tape, and they focused on Jack himself despite his imposing size.

Once I made that comparison between this idea and the Bad End AU, I got inspired to write a quick first draft flash fic about a timeline where Jack gives in to his darker impulses.

The story of Sunshine in Hell is one of broken people helping each other heal and become better versions of themselves.

The Bad End AU is what happens when the wrong choices are made and things only get so much worse.

By the way, for those wondering, a third part of the Bad End AU is in the works. This isn’t it, but more like a different option taken during a critical moment that resulted in blood being spilled instead of bits of plastic and torn VHS tape ribbon.

 From wholesome to unhinged, my posts truly run the gambit of different sides to Sunny Day Jack. I hope you enjoy this little snippet of Jack getting worse instead of better, and taking perverse glee in bringing Alice along with him down a twisted path.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

…

Jack hated to see his sunshine upset. He ached for Alice every time she was in pain. There was nothing he wanted more than to see her smile, to bask in her warm, happy glow.

The last thing Jack wanted was to be the reason Alice was upset, and yet…

Somehow things had grown twisted. Jack crossed lines he knew that he shouldn’t, but somehow he always found ways to justify it. Somehow his fears of losing Alice were always stronger than the little voice in his head telling him that what he was doing wasn’t right.

Sadly, not everything in life could be solved with polite words and a smile.

Things had grown twisted until they spiraled out of control. Ian and Shaun dared to invade their home, their sanctuary. They wanted to take Alice away from him, to “save” her from his “wicked clutches” like Jack was just some cartoon bad guy.

All the things the two said about him were ridiculous, exaggerations! Jack feigned ignorance of their accusations, his confused act flawless. There was no reason for them to be afraid of him. He was just an innocent clown, someone who lived to take care of others, particularly his precious sunshine Alice.

Alice believed Jack had nothing to do with their accusations, but she didn’t chase them away. She listened, worried for them despite her faith in him. It warmed his heart that she believed in him, but the fact that she still listened meant that there was room for doubt to worm its way in.

Ian and Shaun could see that too.

“This… thing is dangerous, Alice,” Shaun said with a tremor in his voice. His eyes couldn’t remain still, bouncing between pleading with Alice and watching for when Jack pounced on them like a venomous cobra. “You need to get away from it right now.”

“You have to believe us!” Ian insisted, his voice cracking desperately. He kept one hand in his pocket, his shaking hand clutching his only form of defense tight. Would it even work on a ghost or whatever Jack was?

Could Jack even bleed?

Jack stood between the invaders and his sunshine. They had tried to take her with him, but he snatched up Alice before they could steal her away and tucked her safely behind his back. He kept one hand on her arm, his hold on her deceptively light, but as unshakable as iron. His expression was innocence itself, showing nothing but a mask of confused concern directed at the two terrified men before him. “Take it easy now. There’s no danger here. Let’s all take a deep breath and try to calm down.”

“Don’t give me that nice guy shit!” Shaun snapped as he glared daggers into Jack. His soothing words were grating in his ears, putting him even more on edge. “You’re more fake than a corporate account with a rainbow logo during pride!” His gaze switched back to Alice. “Alice, please, listen to us. This thing has been torturing us for months now.”

Alice felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. The way Shaun looked at her made her heart go out to him, but… how could it be true. “Torture-”

“Hey now, that’s a strong word to use there,” Jack said. His voice took on a more firm tone to it, but nothing more threatening than the gentle chastising he gave children on his show. “What makes you think I would hurt either of you?”

“Cut the bullshit!” Shaun snarled. “You know damn well you’ve been giving us nightmares for months now!”

“I gave you nightmares?” Jack asked. The confusion on his face was so convincing that Shaun and Ian might have questioned themselves if not for the countless sleepless nights filled with torment. “How could I do that?”

“With some sort of supernatural ghost zombie demon bullshit, I don’t know!” Shaun snapped.

“Alice, you can’t trust him,” Ian said, tightening his grip inside his pocket. Dark circles ringed his shaking eyes as he kept looking from Jack to the hand the creature had on Alice. “Why can’t you see that?”

How was Alice able to stand so close to that monster? Why was she standing behind it as if it would protect her? How could she not see that it was holding her hostage? How could she stand that thing’s cold, lifeless touch? Seeing its hand on her made Ian relieve those countless nights spent lost in a place that felt too real to be a dream, but too horrible to be reality.

The Jack before them now wasn’t exactly the same as the rotted, bloody corpse that haunted them night after night. That thing with mocking smiles that were too wide and wild, and strange eyes that had nothing behind them. This wasn’t the kind and caring boyfriend Alice talked about. This thing was a monster that only knew how to take and take and take. Its touch stole something from Ian every time it laid its hands on him, and left behind a coldness that went far beyond cold. It stole the very warmth from him until it was as if it never existed. It stripped Ian of his senses one at a time until there was nothing but its absence hissing at him like static.

And that voice. That voice mocked him even when the world went so silent that Ian couldn’t even hear his own screams. That thing was trying to sound compassionate now, but that was a lie. It twisted the truth until it was unrecognizable, but so believable. It sounded so calm and kind at the start of every nightmare, even as it told Ian so many, many terrible things, tore open old wounds and exposed all his flaws.

Ian was a sinner damned for hell. He didn’t deserve to be anywhere near someone as kind and gentle as Alice. That thing made it all too clear to him.

The thing countered his protests, even laughed, because they were so feeble. Ian was so selfish, so worthless.

That voice would then mock him, so superior, so much better than Ian in every way. He would never forget the sound of that voice, or that smile.

The smile Jack offered him now was supposed to be an encouraging one, but Ian knew that it was fake. He knew what the hand held before him in a placating gesture was a ruse to get just a little closer.

If Jack touched either of them it was all over. Now that they exposed the truth about it to Alice…

Who knew what it would take from Ian if it got its hands on him again?

“Let’s all calm down now,” Jack said soothingly. “Come on, take a deep breath with me.” He gestured to his chest as he inhaled, which only served to remind Ian and Shaun of just how much bigger he was than all of them.

Ian jerked at Jack’s sudden movement, his breath hitching as that gloved hand drifted close to him.

“There now,” Jack said encouragingly. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The words struck harder than any blow.

There now. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

It was such an innocent phrase, something that would have been encouraging if Shaun and Ian hadn’t heard it in countless nightmares, spoken in mocking tones or breathless whispers, with fake reassurance or a true perverse glee. The monster praised them when they ran from the illusion of Alice, when they admitted that they were flawed and worthless, when they surrendered to his taunts…

When they accepted the knife it pressed into their hands to carve a smile in their throats to match its own.

Shaun flinched back while Ian tensed, his eyes wide and wild as Jack slowly reached out for him with an open palm and a smile. It was such a deceptively innocent gesture…

Instinct took over. A flash of silver and a cry broke the air as Ian used the knife he had hidden away in his pocket all this time to take back what Jack had stolen away from him.

Time slowed down as blood sprayed from the gouge carved from Jack’s hand to his forearm. He cried out in pain as he reeled back, then collapsed to the floor.

Shaun froze at the attack, staring at the bloody knife and wound it left behind in shock. It was as if he was watching a scene from one of his movies unfold before him, not real in the slightest, even though some of the blood splattered onto his face and clothes.

Ian held the knife in both hands tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. The blade shook in his too tight grip, then the rest of him soon followed as it sunk in what he had just done.

This was just another dream… right? Ian didn’t mean to hurt anyone, he just couldn’t let Jack touch him, not again. Not in reality. Not when he couldn’t wake up. He couldn’t let Jack take everything from him.

Ian couldn’t let Jack hurt him again.

Everything had happened so fast. Alice didn’t know what to make of it when Ian and Shaun practically forced their way into her apartment, throwing out wild accusations. They were jittery and on edge, hurling out vitriol towards Jack and pleas to her before she could sort out the accusations they made. They grabbed at her without warning, yanking hard while their fingers dug into her arms hard enough to bruise. It was only thanks to Jack acting quickly to separate them that she hadn’t been dragged outside.

They scared her. Alice worried for them, but their actions weren’t normal. The look in their eyes was terrifying. Ian and Shaun had been acting cagey for weeks now, avoiding her and not responding to her texts. She never saw this coming.

Jack reassured her with his gentle touch and soothing words. Alice could see that he was alarmed by their behavior as well, but he did his best to keep calm, to protect her when her friends were acting so strangely.

There was no way Jack was this monster they described. He was the kindest, gentlest soul Alice had ever known. He chased away her nightmares, comforted her when she needed it, and was there for her when she was left all alone.

Jack loved her more than anyone else in the world.

Alice barely had time to wonder about their claims when Ian struck without warning. When Jack screamed, her blood turned to ice. Red filled her vision.

There was so much blood.

“Jack!”

Alice moved before she could really register what was happening, her scream sounding far away as her heartbeat pounded hard in her ears. She threw herself between Jack and his attacker, falling to her knees as used her body as a shield. She clung to him, her best friend, her beloved, heedless of the blood soaking into her clothes, then turned her gaze to the monster that had dared to hurt the one she loved.

The ice in that gaze froze Ian, and the knife fell from his limp fingers. Suddenly he was all too aware of what he had done, the blood on his hands. He stared at them, at the sin he had committed, shaking and red, until he collapsed into a pool of tears.

“How could you?” Alice hissed, forcing the words out through her constricted throat. “How could you!?”

The world started to move again. Ian tried to say something, perhaps some form of protest or apology, but the words were half-formed and drowned in his tears. Shaun stared between the bloodstained knife and Jack, who lay curled against Alice, quietly whimpering while bleeding all over the carpet.

Shaun couldn’t reconcile the scene before him of the wounded man, weak and in pain, against the monster from his dreams that smiled through any attack he made. No matter how many times he stabbed Jack in the dream, the undead creature would just mock him, unfazed even as its blood was spilled.

Was this really the same monster that haunted them for months?

It was this dissonance that made Ian truly aware of the sin he had committed. He couldn’t handle it. He fled.

“Get out!” Alice snapped, bringing Shaun’s attention back from her and away from the fleeing Ian. “Get the fuck out of here!”

Shaun staggered a step back. “A-Alice, I-”

“Get the fuck out!” Alice shrieked. “I never want to see either of you ever again! If you ever come near me or Jack again, I’ll fucking shoot you!”

Shaun took a few more steps, his eyes trailing down to the blood that had been spilled. It still didn’t look real to him, but Alice’s screams were real. The hatred she had in her eyes directed entirely at him was real. It was far more real than any of his nightmares.

It was too much for Shaun, and he too left behind the scene of this macabre show he had taken part in.

Ahhh…

Jack had to use every ounce of his willpower to suppress his smile and keep his true feelings hidden from his sunshine. The pleasure he felt in that moment was exquisite, a shiver of euphoria that was so sinfully delicious it was practically erotic. Fear, shock, and anger burst through him like fireworks, but undercutting all of those feelings was the love Alice had for him. Those feelings of her burned fierce and bright, chasing away all the cold in the world. Even her hatred, directed at someone else, was beautiful, because it was for his sake.

How could Jack not feel pleasure when Alice’s love for him overflowed until it flooded his heart in a torrent of passion?

All that fear, worry, and rage was in defense of him. Only him. Only Jack had her love now. Whatever care Alice felt for Shaun and Ian was dead, its throat slit with a single slice of a knife.

It made all the nights spent away from his sunshine while she slept worth it. All those months of training those two obstacles had paid off beautifully. Jack finally exposed the true nature of those inferior other “friends” of hers. He knew that with just a little encouragement, they would finally show his precious sunshine just how worthless and filthy they truly were.

With them gone, her anger cooled, but didn’t disappear completely. It still burned inside of Alice, fierce and ready to protect him again at a moment’s notice. Her thoughts were all for him now, only him. She fussed over his wound, letting out concerned whimpers as she cradled him close while using her own clothes to staunch the blood flow.

Jack hated to see his sunshine so upset. He wanted to reassure her that he was fine, but he had to be careful about it. The episode he had written for them wasn’t quite finished yet.

“It… it’s okay… sunshine,” Jack said between heavy pants. He wore a weak smile that held none of his true happiness in it. “I-it doesn’t hurt.”

It was a lie, and they both knew it, but the pain didn’t matter to Jack. No pain compared to the thought of losing Alice. This little scratch was nothing compared to what he gained in return.

The love Jack felt from her, the pleasure that love gave him was so much better. It was a drug that left him feeling weak and dizzy, almost overwhelmed by the euphoria to the point he became partially erect. Alice’s love for him was so fierce that it was practically all that he could feel. Compared to that, the gouge in his arm was little more than a paper cut.

Those warm hands of hers touched him so delicately. Alice fussed over him, cried over him, her heart breaking for him. It was all for him, only for him. He was her world, and he reveled in it. She was the sun that would shine her light for no one else but him now.

Jack never wanted anything to make his sunshine unhappy, but how could he not enjoy himself? How could he not find pleasure even in the darker moments of anger and sadness that overtook her when it was for his sake? The way she screamed his name, the way she held him so close, the fierce way she defended him, worried for him… how could he not adore every second of it?

There was no stronger proof of the love Alice felt for Jack than this.

[scarareg]

From 0 to 10, which grades would you give to PJO ships?

Hi anon! This is such a fun question! Thanks for sending it! I tried to choose the most popular ships because there are so many variations of them, but if you are curious about a specific one that I didn't mention, feel free to ask!

Percabeth (Percy x Annabeth)

3/10 I give it a 3 only because in PJO they are cute but in HOO they are full of red flags and I hate what Rick did with them. I feel like their goals for the future do not align at all, and it is as if they together because that is what they are used to and not because they are in love. It seems like Percy is always trying to accommodate to what Annabeth wants and I think in the long run that would make him miserable, and those feeling will make worst a relationship that is already fragile.

In the future he is going to resent her so bad, because we already see that he doesn't feel comfortable joking/talking about some topics because Annabeth gets mad, now add him feeling like he has to follow everything she says or do just to be "the perfect boyfriend". It is a recipe for disaster

AnnieLuke (Annabeth x Luke)

1/10 this one is complicated. The thing is that I understand the appeal of a childhood besfrieds to lovers, I love those, BUT Luke never saw Annabeth as anything but a little sister. That + the fact that their relationship became toxic, it just make me uncomfortable. Sorry Annie, but this one is not the one, at least in my opinion (and in Luke's lmao)

Perluke (Percy x Luke)

4/10 I see you fans of friends to enemies to lovers or friends to lovers to enemies, I get it, but to me this one lacks that je ne sais quoi to make it appealing. But I can understand why some people like it. And I am part of the team "Percy had a crush on Luke yet he was the last to know"

Percico (Percy x Nico)

10/10 they are my OTP. I like how they complement each other. They have the history, the angst, the complexity. I like the dynamic of two characters who went through a lot, but deal with trauma in opposite ways.

They are ride or die for each other, but they keep that information a secret from each other, which makes their relationship really fun.

Most importantly Nico thinks Percy is cool AF and he adores him just the way he is. Percy is one of the few people who tried to get close to Nico and to understand him.

Their empathetic nature would make this relationship super sweet, tender and calm. For example, if one of them need to rest or are stressed out, they can go to the other and they will know if they need to talk or just want to nap.

Bonus points because their relationship with each other's parents would make their relationship even more interesting and fun!

Perachel (Percy x Rachel)

9/10 love this one! My second fave Percy ship! This is Percy's loss, to be honest. Their chemistry is super natural and they are always having fun! Rachel seems like a low-maintenance partner, so being with her must be pretty easy. She would not make drama if Percy can't be there with her for some time because he has to save the world or whatever. I think he can chill with her, and just like with Nico, Percy just being Percy is enough

Valgrace (Leo x Jason)

9/10 What I like about them is that both are insecure about themselves but always see the best in each other. Jason is Leo's hype man and Leo is always thinking about how impressive Jason is. Where Leo is chaotic, Jason is calm. Where Jason is anxious, Leo is chill. They just screams healthy couple

Jiper (Jason x Piper)

2/10 the problem here is how the relationship started. Both of them are really kind to each other, but their romance is based on a lie, which neither of them is to blame for, but it just feels wrong. To me, after knowing how their relationship started, Piper seems to like Jason enough to stay a couple, and Jason was too kind and just rolled with it, and that is not good reason to stay with someone in my opinion.

Liper (Leo x Piper)

9/10 shout out to @maygirlsposts to make me see the light with this one! Before, it never crossed my mind they could be a couple, but gosh! They are so cute together!

Piper and Leo genuinely have a connection, they share sense of humor, they have been through difficult stuff together and are empathetic towards the other's problems. They have a healthy balance between being chaotic when they are chilling, and having the ability to have honest conversations when necessary. They are overall wholesome AF!

Extra points for being the healthy version of Hephaestus x Aphrodite

Jasico (Jason x Nico)

10/10 this one is not my ship,only because I prefer them as besties, but I see the vision of their shippers; and I give them a 10 because they are probably the healthiest ship Nico has, to be honest.

Jason is always so patient with Nico, and sincere yet kind. Is great to see Nico feeling at ease with him. Jason has the stability Nico needs in a relationship.

Both bring the best of each other, and push the other to do and be the best they can be!

Jeyna (Jason x Reyna)

8/10 oh what could have been! The tragedy of the lost potential! They were too powerful together and Rick couldn't handle that.

They have history together and understand each other deeply. They are both strong mentally and physically, so they could be the standard of a demigod couple. They are both healthy people on their own, so their relationship would naturally be nice.

Their love story could have been so interesting, like: separated by war and the gods, reunited by fate!

To tell you a secret, I see them as Nico's unofficial parents/older siblings. Basically, they both adopted him separately, protect him, and genuinely care about him. They would have been one hell of parents lmao

Jercy (Jason x Percy)

6/10 this one is fun! Again it is not my ship, but I like their dynamic. They give "Two bros,chilling in the hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re not gay" energy

Frazel (Frank x Hazel)

9/10 this is the only canon ship I like! Frank is super sweet and Hazel is always so kind, both are just wholesome AF! Like two teddy bears! I like that they started out as friends and both were seen as the "weird kids", that makes me think their bond is just genuine!

Lazel (Leo x Hazel)

5/10 they are cute, I just prefer them as friends. And not gonna lie, the fact that Hazel's ex is Leo's grandpa makes them kinda weird to me as a couple.

As friends will give them a 8/10, they need more time to get closer, but they already are super fun!

Fraleo (Frank x Leo)

6/10 They are funny! Like wholesome-awkward meets wholesome-chaotic. They just make me laugh because of how cute they would be, completely adorable! Too pure for this world!

I like this, but personally I like my ships with more angst, so I prefer them as friends. But you guys, their shippers, you must be the cutest, most wholesome people out there!

Leo x Frank x Hazel

7/10 I see the vision, but as you can see, I like Leo being their bestie instead of in a romance. But I understand! What's better than a love triangle? An OT3!

Pipabeth (Piper x Annabeth)

8/10 I like them a lot! This is the ship I like for Annabeth. In general I think Annabeth seems more comfortable with women. It feels like Rick wrote her as a lesbian-who-doesn't-know-she-is-one, but did so whithout realizing. Her chemistry with Piper (and with Reyna) just comes naturally and she looks like she is having fun!

Piper's fun personality complements Annabeth's logical one. Piper is all feelings, Annabeth is all brains, love that!

Also, just imagine their mothers' reactions when they find out they are dating!

Pipercy (Piper x Percy)

5/10 this is fun! But it needs that something else to make it super appealing to me, you know. Both are crack heads so they would be hilarious and a menace together! I can see the appeal! For me, I just prefer them as besties, like "Prepare for trouble! And make it double!"

Solangelo (Nico x Will)

3/10 in canon, 10/10 in fanon

First of all, can we talk about how fucking ethereal their ship name is? The ship name gets an ∞/10!

Now, the ship. I will start saying that I LOVE ships that are opposites attracts, but sadly this ship is a bit like Percabeth, but better. Let me explain. The concept is there, but at the moment of writing their romance, Rick kinda sucks. Genuinely think fic writers do a better job writing them.

For starters I have a problem with Nico being outed by Cupid. And I do not like at all that he doesn't have time to process that trauma, neither his crush on Percy and the heartbreak that comes after his rejection. Will is shoehorned into the narrative because "Nico needs a boyfriend" and Will is the only character available. He was a glorified extra.

This takes me to that I feel Rick thinks a relationship will solve all of your problems. I firmly believe that Nico needed time alone to recover from all of his trauma, which is a lot. But Rick's solution for this kind of stuff is "get a partner!". (Leo and Piper also suffered of this)

Is like: "Did you live through World War II? Your mom died and you were immediately stuck in an hotel for maybe one or two months? When you finally got out, were you in another century? Your sister died one week later? Years passed and you lived on your own for a while and felt scared and isolated from everyone you knew? Did you fight another war? Went to Tartarus and came back and then get kidnapped? You almost died, again? Had to fight again? Don't worry, having a boyfriend will solve all your problems!"

And I HATE IT! This is not Will's fault, it's Rick's. So I feel bad for not loving Solangelo in canon, but I really think Nico needs time for himself, he will have time for boyfriends in the future after he gets in a better head space.

Conclusion Will and Nico deserve better writers.

Once again thanks Anon! Would love to know what you think about this!

[dangermousie]

The best cdrama you probably haven't watched - Tribes and Empires Storm of Prophecy

Most of my airing cdramas are ending within the week and unless we get a lot of other good replacements, it means time to rewatch a favorite.

And this favorite? The sprawling, epic fantasy Tribes and Empires Storm of Prophecy. Tribes has a huge cast (one of criticisms I've seen leveled at it - but that is why I love it; it's epic in every sense of the world), but it centers around three very different men - Shaofeng Heye (Zhou Yiwei), a son of a murdered barbarian chief who will eventually lead the rebellion that tries to topple the empire, Muyun Sheng (Huang Xuan), a disregarded prince who is half-fae and whose mother was supposedly the emperor's great love who he mourns (the truth is so much darker and more complicated) and Muru Hanjiang (Shawn Dou), the cursed son of the chief general who was abandoned to live on the street due to prophecy. Sometimes they are allies, sometimes enemies, sometimes both at once.

Despite the huge budget, it was not a hit either in China or internationally - people complained about the slow pace, the large cast and the lack of ending (the drama is 70+ eps and tells only half the story.) I loved every second of it. I grew up reading Russian novels which were also sprawling, with a huge cast, deliberate pace and often lack of resolution at the end. Perhaps that is why the one audience where I think it was a hit was the Russian-speaking cdrama fandom (all the MVs I can find, btw, are made by Russian speakers.)

(The above is a gorgeous general MV)

Why do I love it? Other than the amazing visuals (it's directed by Cao Dun, all of whose dramas are genuinely stunning looking), there is the fact that it really feels like a window in a whole other world - epic and a little alien, complex, full of horror and beauty.

And there are the characters and the narrative. Because this drama does not hurry, it's not only the mains who get fleshed out - secondary and even tertiary characters are fully-fledged. Two of my favorite characters are emperor and empress - two intense monsters locked in an emotional cage with each other, clawing at others and themselves, as bystanders die.

This is a dark dark world - made before the censorship tightening up, there is none of that "tireless emperor ceaselessly working for the people" nonsense or even other character spouting about working for the greater good. The emperor and most of the imperial family are monsters, grasping for power, lives of people as ants to them. Some characters do have ideals but they are not glib or easy or fit within modern parameters. This is a narrative that starts with Shaofeng Heye's entire tribe being wiped out because of an act of kindness by a boy (and his tribe and other tribes are locked into a life death struggle for resources perpetually.) Blind loyalty to the crown is not viewed as a virtue - Muru Hanjiang's father is a monster for throwing his infant to die due to a prophecy that states he's a threat to the throne.

(another general MV)

Also, me being me, there are ships. There are a bunch, but my favorite is Muru Hanjiang x Su Yuning. She's a minor noblewoman picked to be a crown princess because her horoscope says that whoever she marries will be the ruler (interestingly, MHJ's prophecy that upended his life is that he will end the rule of the Muyun dynasty - clearly they are meant to marry at some point, heh) and she has no choice about it. Their love is glorious and largely unspoken and kinda doomed; the way the drama ends with her ditching literally EVERYTHING and following him and his clan to horrifying exile that might result in death (and even as he still tries to drive her away to protect her, she knows what he's doing and vows to wait for him) is glorious.

This MV for them is amazing:

I also loved Shaofeng Heye and Princess Muyun Yan Shuang. Not functional in the least but so hot!

(The third main OTP of the prince x spirit, I liked but not as much as these two.)

Anyway, this is my next rewatch.

[multiverse--wanderer]

Merry Christmas // Oneshot - Ghost x König (CoD) -- ENG

[Oneshot based on the OTP between Ghost and König from Call Of Duty. This full Oneshot on patreon has +18 content, read at your own risk. ] This is a Patreon exclusive text, take a look at the different memberships and what each one can offer you!

...

REMINDER:

This story has been written in Spanish, which is my native language. This story has been translated to the best of my ability, although it is possible that it may have mistakes.

This is just a way to transport my writing to a common language for the rest of fans like me. For a better immersion, I recommend reading the story in its original version.

Thank you so much for reading me and see you in the stars.

...

The cabin rested at the heart of a forest buried under a white mantle, where silence stretched like an eternal whisper. Alexander had chosen this forgotten corner to spend Christmas, insisting with the same stubbornness with which he faced orders on the battlefield. He knew Simon, from whom he could sometimes only guess thoughts behind that impenetrable mask, hated crowds as much as he did. But beyond the words that were never spoken, there was a latent truth: they both longed for stillness like an oasis after hell, though they rarely allowed themselves to admit it, not even to themselves.

The forest, covered in snow falling leisurely, seemed to envelop them in a bubble, isolating them from time and the world. The cabin, rustic and modest, was a refuge that smelled of old wood and the warmth of the freshly lit fire. Inside, the fireplace roared softly, filling the air with orange flashes and the faint crackling of the logs. Alexander stood by the window, his tall frame nearly swallowing the frame, his clear eyes following the swaying of the snowflakes dancing in the wind. There was something hypnotic in this scene, as if winter spoke a language he understood better than any human word.

The room, austere yet cozy, had the simplicity of one who lives without pretensions. The wooden furniture, rough and full of history, shared the space with a small Christmas tree Alexander had decorated that very morning. The lights, flickering like trembling stars, cast playful shadows on the bare walls. He had tried to wrap a couple of gifts, and although his clumsy hands barely managed to tame the paper and ribbon, the effort imbued the room with something genuine, almost vulnerable.

Simon sat on the sofa, a stoic figure even in stillness. His mask remained on, like an extension of his skin, a reminder that some things are never left behind. But his clothes, a simple black sweater and wool pants, betrayed a hint of comfort. His large, calloused hands held a steaming cup of tea between his fingers, though his eyes didn’t look at the hot liquid. They were fixed on Alexander, attentive, as if searching for something beyond the figure of the man watching the snow.

Finally, Alexander turned. The firelight played on his face, highlighting the grooves of his features and the melancholic gleam in his eyes. He walked toward the sofa with heavy, but measured steps, and as he sat next to Simon, the furniture groaned under his weight, though neither of them seemed to notice.

—I was thinking —he said softly, almost as if speaking to himself—. How strange it is to be here. So... peaceful.

His gaze drifted to the tree, where the poorly wrapped, somewhat uneven gifts waited patiently. The tree lights reflected off the packages, giving the scene a warm, almost childlike intimacy, which contrasted with the visible and invisible scars both men carried. Alexander nodded toward the gifts.

—Do you want to open them now? —He asked, pointing at the packages with his chin, his deep voice strangely soft, as if afraid to break the stillness of the moment.

Simon didn’t respond immediately. His dark eyes, unalterable under the shadow of the mask, first scanned the gifts, then the tree, and finally returned to Alexander. There was something in his posture, in the way his shoulders seemed to relax just a little, that said more than any word could.

In that lost cabin, amid the snow that covered everything and the fire that promised warmth in a cold world, time seemed to stop. Two men, marked by a shared past of war and death, found in the silence of winter something they never expected to find: a glimpse of peace.

The older one felt strangely serene in that atmosphere. There was something in the cold winter air, in the whisper of the falling snow, and in the warmth that enveloped the cabin, that made him feel as if the world had stopped. Everything seemed in place, as if every element, from the gentle roar of the fireplace to the faint glow of the tree lights, had been arranged to offer them this moment of calm.

He was aware that he was no longer a young man, not completely, but neither old. Still, the scars—the visible ones and the ones inside—sometimes reminded him that there were things more important than the constant pursuit of battle. And on days like this, he realized there was something deeply comforting about being away from it all. Away from the noise, away from the blinding lights, and the pressure of civilization. Here, with him, everything was different.

He looked at the boy sitting across from him, whose energy had once been a contrast to his own shadow, but in this moment reflected the same peace. He knew him well enough to understand that he enjoyed these moments of simplicity just as much as he did. The cabin’s decorations, though humble and a bit messy, spoke of a genuine effort on his part, an effort to make him feel comfortable, calm, at home. And he had succeeded. Oh, how he had succeeded.

—Hm.

The sound was barely a murmur, more a thought escaping his lips than a word. But the boy, always attentive, noticed it. He turned his head, his clear eyes sparkling with a flash of curiosity. The masked man followed the direction of his gaze, where the poorly wrapped, uneven packages rested under the tree.

He smiled, though that smile remained hidden behind his mask. It was strange, he thought, how such a small gesture could carry so much weight in a moment like this. He wasn’t accustomed to these things, to these traditions that seemed to belong to another life, another world. But here he was, sitting in front of a decorated tree, with gifts waiting to be opened, and the warm presence of someone who, in some way, had managed to penetrate his defenses.

—Is it time for that? —He finally asked, his voice deep but soft, tinged with a mixture of curiosity and awkwardness that he rarely showed.

The boy didn’t respond immediately. His eyes wandered between the tree, the gifts, and his figure, as if considering the question with more seriousness than it really required. But in that pause, in the silence they shared, there was something deeper, something that spoke of a mutual understanding that didn’t need words.

Winter continued outside, covering the forest in an embrace of ice and snow. But inside the cabin, between the warmth of the fire and the silent connection they shared, a moment was being formed that would remain etched in both of them. It wasn’t about the gifts or the decorations, but the simple yet powerful truth of being together, away from it all, but close enough to each other.

Alexander let out a soft laugh, barely a whisper that was lost among the crackling of the fireplace and the murmur of the wind outside. It was a strange sound, intimate, that barely seemed to fit with the imposing figure he projected. There was something almost magical in that cabin; perhaps it was the warmth of the fire or the tranquility enveloping the snowy forest, but in that moment, even a man like Alexander could afford to let his guard down.

His eyes stopped on Simon, as they often did more than he would admit. The mask remained on, an impenetrable shield, but Alexander had learned to read the little nuances that Simon unintentionally let slip. A slight change in the tilt of his head, a barely perceptible relaxation in the tension of his shoulders, or even the subtle rhythm of his breathing. And this time, he felt it: Simon was comfortable. Maybe not happy in the full sense of the word, but comfortable, and that was enough for Alexander.

—Well —He said finally, his voice warm, with that soft accent that made the words seem to roll with an almost charming awkwardness—. I don’t think there’s a ‘right time’ to open gifts here.

It was rare for him to feel so relaxed, so human. But there was something in Simon’s presence that always managed to disarm him in a way the battlefield never had. It made him want to be something more than a soldier, even if just for one night.

...

CONTINUE READING THE FULL CHAPTER HERE:

[crazy-ache]

SJM is a Zutara Shipper? That sounds like Elucien....let me explain

It was recently brought to my attention that Sarah hinted in 2017 at being a Zuko/Katara shipper in the Avatar the Last Airbender series. This was exciting to hear as I was in the ATLA fandom over a decade ago and Zuko/Katara was my first OTP and introduction to fandom. I have loved them a long time and they will always hold a special place in my heart. I want to explore why Sarah shipping Zutara is really important when it comes to Elucien because there are a lot of great parallels.

Note: if you know anything about the ATLA shipping fandom/wars...you immediately know what she means by this. Zutara is a fanon ship that was often baited by the writers. Her disappointment is a shared, common reaction to the ship.

A very long, detailed analysis is below the cut. This NOT for ATLA discourse. This is intended to focus SOLELY on Elucien. Read below if you are a fan of Zutara/Elucien....

ATLA Characters vs ACOTAR Characters

Let's start with the characters themselves.

We have Prince Zuko, the exiled and scarred prince of the Fire Nation, who was banished after his evil, power-hungry father (the Fire Lord) horribly punished him for embarrassing him with his kindness (not wanting innocent soldiers to be used as bait in war), which he viewed as morally inferior and weak. It is implied his mother, a gentle-hearted woman, was abused in the marriage. She disappeared when he was young to maintain her husband's political power, only so that her children would live. The loss of his mother is his greatest trauma, along with his desire to go back home and gain his honor and father's acceptance.

Then we have Lucien Vanserra, exiled and scarred son of the Autumn Court, who had to flee after his evil, power-hungry father (the High Lord) horribly punished him for embarrassing him with his relationship with a lower-Fae female, which he viewed as repulsive and below their High Fae status. It is implied his mother, a gentle-hearted woman, was abused in the marriage. His lover was brutally murdered by the hands of his father/brothers and he had to flee, never having the chance to see his mother again. Losing Jesminda is his greatest trauma, likely along with losing his home, Court, and family.

Let's also not forget...they BOTH WEILD FIRE! I do think the Lucien/Zuko comparison is quite obvious and direct, where the Elain/Katara is a bit more symbolic.

For our ladies, we have Katara, master waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe. She is the youngest daughter of the Chief. She begins the journey as someone untrained and incapable of bending her own element, in a small, impoverished village due to the effects of war and destruction on their nation/culture by the Fire Nation. Her mother was tragically murdered by the Fire Nation in order to save her daughter's life. This is singularly her greatest trauma. Throughout the show, we see Katara become a powerful and master bender.

Finally, we have Elain Archeron, who was once human and is the middle sister in her family. She was the daughter of a once-successful merchant. She also loses her mother and is very close to her father, who she also tragically loses in the war. She loses her humanity and her fiance, Graysen, in one fell swoop when they put her in the Cauldron. This is singularly her greatest trauma, one that we see she has trouble letting go, even becoming practically comatose when it first happens. We later learn Elain possesses magic and is a seer.

A little less here, but I am not surprised. Katara and Elain, personality-wise, are very different. However, I will add that both Elain/Katara are often associated as symbols of HOPE in the narrative. But this brings me to my next point which is where I believe SJM was influenced by Zutara when writing Elucien....

Shared Grief as the Catalyst

Every Zuko/Katara shipper knows the crux of their relationship is from their shared trauma. Despite being on opposite ends of the war, they both carry an immense grief in losing their mothers to the war. It is the first thing they realize they have in common, the first moment they share a genuine, sincere connection, enough for them to reach out and open up to each other.

Elain and Lucien also have a shared trauma. They both lost their first loves/fiances. Lucien lost her tragically. Elain lost him in a brutal rejection. It broke both of their hearts, and they both carry grief and complicated emotions around it.

The hurt and pain brought Zutara together. As a result, they understand each other in ways others can't. I have no doubt that Elucien will spark from a similar place of understanding.

Complimentary Symbolism

One of the most beautiful parts of Zuko/Katara is the use of opposite/complimentary symbolism. Two halves of a whole. Balance and unity.

Zuko= Fire and Sun and Blue Spirit Katara= Water and Moon and Painted Lady

Lol can you believe we got the line below...I couldn't come up with a more romantic symbolic line if I tried and that's canon folks

Lucien = Day and Fox and Spring/Loss

Elain = Flowers and Fawns and Spring/Life

Elain, often associated with gardens and flowers and roses, was asked what she needed at her lowest point. She said "Sunshine." Enter Lucien, the secret heir to Day Court and Helion, whose name means Light. The Fox and the Fawn. Elain "Made for Spring" Archeron and Lucien "Spring Court Emissary and Courtier" Vanserra. I wrote Spring/Loss and Spring/Life because Lucien had to see Spring become ruined/flee the one place he called home. There is strong foreshadowing that Elain will help in some way to revive spring and possibly bring it back to life, hopefully with Lucien's help.

Let's also not forget that Elain was formerly human and now living as a High Fae in the Night Court. Lucien is a High Fae who looked down on humans and now lives in the mortal lands. It's an interesting dynamic!

Betrayal

Okay buckle up. This one is important. The feeling of betrayal is important to the development of both ships. Let me break this down.

Katara is a victim of the Fire Nation. Zuko is the prince of the Fire Nation who once hunted them down to retrieve the Avatar. She often conflated her feelings toward Zuko with her feelings regarding her mother's murder by the hands of the Fire Nation', as evidenced here.

Katara: I'm sorry I yelled at you before. Zuko: It doesn't matter. Katara: It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face.

We see these messy emotions come back when Zuko joins the team to teach Aang firebending.

Zuko: This isn't fair! Everyone else seems to trust me now! What is it with you? Katara: Oh, everyone trusts you now?! I was the first person to trust you! [Places her left hand on her heart.] Remember, back in Ba Sing Se. And you turned around and betrayed me, betrayed all of us! Zuko: What can I do to make it up to you? Katara: You really want to know? Hmm, maybe you could reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King. Or, I know! You could bring my mother back!

Now, at this point, we know she has not forgiven him for Ba Sing Se. Remember, this was the moment they shared their intimate connection over their shared Dead Mother trauma. (In an episode called The Crossroads of Destiny nonetheless). She offered to heal his scar, and later when given the chance to choose between what is right vs. what he wants....he chooses what he wants, which is to return home to his father for his acceptance. Katara took this as a personal betrayal and we see she still imagines his face as the enemy by demanding he bring her mother back (even though it isn't possible/he isn't responsible for it).

You know who else has mentioned betrayal?

For a long moment, Elain’s face did not shift, but those eyes seemed to focus a bit more. “Lucien,” she said at last, and he clenched his teacup to keep from shuddering at the sound of his name on her mouth. “From my sister’s stories. Her friend.” “Yes.” But Elain blinked slowly. “You were in Hybern.” “Yes.” It was all he could say. “You betrayed us.” He wished she’d shoved him out the window behind her. “It—it was a mistake.” Her eyes went frank and cold. “I was to be married in a few days.” He fought against the bristling rage, the irrational urge to find the male who’d claimed her and shred him apart. The words were a rasp as he instead said, “I know. I’m sorry.”

Elain associates Lucien's involvement with Ianthe/Hybern/The Cauldron as a personal betrayal. Lucien, much like Zuko, is sorry for his actions that have hurt her.

Both Zuko and Lucien don't argue about the anger/accusations of betrayal. They own it. They just want to make it right.

In the same episode of the snippet above ("You could bring my mother back!") Zuko and Katara go on their infamous "field trip" or journey together, just the two of them. Despite Katara's anger, the two of them are in perfect sync. They are the perfect team and pair, moving fluid in their elements, sneaking around enemy ships. Zuko defends her desire for closure (however dark it may be) against her friends and family wishes. He never questions her. He supports her emotionally. He yells at an enemy solider- "Don't lie! You look her in the eye and you tell me you don't remember what you did." (OH COME ON, what is hotter than that!?) In the end, she forgives him. Not because of what he did. But because he understands her and gives her space and places no expectations of who she is or what she should do. He accepts her. All the dark and pain and light inside.

Don't mind the romantic sunset in the background

Going on an adventure? Likely against the wishes of friends and family due to it being dangerous? Doing whatever is necessary to help the girl forgive you/trust you? Giving her the necessary space and support to do what she has set her mind to? Helping her find closure and healing along the way? Falling love? Sure sounds like an Elucien book......wonder where SJM got the inspiration?

Azriel vs Aang

I cannot write this post without mentioning Aang and Azriel. This is NOT an ATLA shipping discourse so please no comments regarding the Kataang/Zutara ship war. I am using this as a comparison to Elucien/E/riel.

I have a feeling that SJM has written Azriel (specifically in the Bonus Chapter) to serve as a foil to Aang's dynamic to Katara. Which is that both characters feel entitled to their crush.

Aang, the young hero and savior of the world, has a long-standing crush on Katara that is not really reciprocated romantically throughout the series.

When the group goes to watch a play based on themselves, there is scene where the actors on stage go:

Actor Zuko: Wait, I thought you were the Avatar's girl! [Aang in the audience nods in agreement.] Actress Katara: The Avatar? Why, he's like a little brother to me! I certainly don't think of him in a romantic way. [Aang in the audience grows concerned.] Besides, how could he ever find out about ... this? [Actress Katara and Actor Zuko embrace and hold hands while Actress Katara pops up one leg. Aang gets up from his seat to leave.]

It can be interpreted that his nodding and getting upset is attributed to feeling possessive of his crush on Katara. That she belongs to him, as he is the Hero and the Avatar, and should get the girl. He is jealous of something that didn't actually happen between the actors on stage (he is only 12 to be fair).

Further evidence here:

Aang: But it's true, isn't it? We kissed at the Invasion, and I thought we were gonna be together. But we're not. Katara: Aang, I don't know. Aang: Why don't you know? Katara: Because, we're in the middle of a war, and, we have other things to worry about. This isn't the right time.

...and then he kisses her, and she doesn't want it/isn't expecting it, and runs away back to the theater. We won't get into that here.

Hm, this story sounds familiar....

Azriel ignored the question. "The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another."

There is a similar sense of entitlement, that also ended with Elain running away from the scene, upset. The difference being he rejected her at the urging (and convincing) of Rhysand because he knew it was a mistake.

Tension & Healing & Growth (What's Next)

"There is a great deal of tension, growth, and healing to be found for both of them (together)." - from Sarah J Maas herself. If she was a Zutara shipper, I can totally see her inspiration in elements of Elucien.

In the end, many Zuko/Katara shippers really believed these two brought out the best in each other in the best possible ways. (I know I did). And I think that's a big reason a lot of Eluciens ship Elain/Lucien...the potential of how they'll complement each other is so huge.

Just as Katara and Zuko were once extremely tense in their relationship, they underwent an incredible and beautiful journey of healing and growth. One that ended in....Zuko sacrificing his life for her. Animated in slow motion with romantic/epic musical scores. For the girl who lost her mother (who sacrificed herself to save her daughter). An epic friendship but no romance....which Sarah herself agreed she wasn't a fan of....

So I imagine she is going to rectify that narrative for Elucien. I for one cannot wait to read their story in their book.

[killerlookz]

OTP questions | Heartbeat! AU edition

haiii guys ^_^ its my bday week so i thought id do something fun (granted if people participate hahah) im a little too busy to write full fics rn so... here we are :3

ive included some "OTP" asks ive sourced across the web, and decided i wanted to apply them to the heartbeat! au (one million percent inspired by @joosthead 's normal au otp questionary)

anyways.... i decided it would be fun to write about the little nuances of heartbeat! joost and reader's relationship that might not be addressed through regular fics... so if there's anything you'd like to know about our favorite toxic couple... ask away - separated by SFW and NSFW asks

see already answered asks here | asks in red have already been answered.

❤︎ SFW ASKS ❤︎

1. Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

2. Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

3. Who said "I love you" first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with "Because I love you"?

4. Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

5. Who steals the Blanket?

6. Who Cusses more?

7. Who is More Cuddly?

8. Who is the one to do something the other told them not to?

9. Who is more emotional/cries more?

10. Who is More possessive?

11. Who gets jealous easily?

12. Who is more protective?

13. do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what?

14. who apologizes first? in what way? is it hard for either of them to apologize?

15. which one has more insecurities? over what?

16. who gets more riled up? do they show their anger?

17. who tries to make up first? does it work?

18. do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?

19. what's their favorite pass time when they're upset?

20. who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other?

21. is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?

22. who grieves more when the other is away?

23. who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?

24. do either of them have the other's stuff lying around their house?

25. how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)?

26. do either of them have any vices?

27. what's the thing they miss most about each other?

28. what's their go-to breakup/angst song?

29. who's more jealous?

30. who is the first to forgive?

31. which is more afraid of confrontation?

32. who's more patient? is it hard to break that patience?

33. who's more likely to do something out of spite?

34. who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it?

35. who worries more?

36. who's quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated?

37. who is more prone to anger?

38. who cries more in an argument? do either of them cry?

39. does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling?

40. who sleeps on the couch? can either of them sleep without the other?

41. who ends up yelling first? are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all?

42. do they think about each other a lot? does it affect their performance/schoolwork?

❤︎ NSFW ASKS ❤︎

43. What is their favorite part of their s/o’s body?

44. Are they adventurous in bed?

45. Do their sex drives match?

46. What is their favorite intimately sexual thing to do to their partner?

47. What is their favorite intimately non-sexual thing to do with their partner?

48. What is the one thing their partner can do that will automatically turn them on?

49. Do they keep it in the bedroom or just do wherever they happen to be?

50. What is their favorite position with their s/o?

51. Are they into dirty talk?

52. Clothes on or off?

53. Are they into bondage at all?

54. Are they comfortable talking to each other about their fantasies and desires?

55. Have they ever been caught having sex?

56. About how many times a week do they have sex?

57. Do they sext/send naughty pictures/write each other steamy loves notes?

58. Are they loud or quiet?

59. Do they like to play games or tease each other before sex or even foreplay?

60. Who is always horny and will have sex, at any place and at any time?

61. Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

62. Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

63. Who acts tough, but actually is really submissive?

i'll probably keep these asks up for a little while :3 happy asking!

[respectthepetty]

Addicted Heroin (Th) Cut Scenes and Colors - Episode 5

I'm reporting on the missing scenes from YouTube's version of Addicted Heroin [episode: one, two, three, four], so here I am with episode five!

First cut scene:

After Blue Boy Hero realizes that he tied Green Guy Pop up with color-coded green rope for nothing because Pop was planning to apologize to him before he kidnapped him and forced a kiss on him, Hero goes to Pop's house to eat dinner and stay the night; however, as usual, they argue.

Pop divides the food up but gives his father more and Hero the least. Hero gets upsets and says Pop can't divide properly, and Pop tells him he divided right (implying Hero was meant to get less). Hero tells PopPY he is being childish. Pop is upset that Hero is calling him Poppy, so Hero responds that since they are brothers now and Hero is the oldest brother, it's fine.

But that's lies! They bring out their IDs and learn Pop is older by two days, so even though Hero is taller (which is something he points out), Pop is the Phi in this house! So as the older brother, he kicks Hero out of the room, and sleeps on Hero's side of their color-coded beds.

Second cut scene:

I'm going off vibes here, but the next day after kicking Hero out of the room, Pop seems to be thinking about the kidnap kiss at school when Hero walks up. Hero notices and asks Pop to look at his face for . . . something on it(?), but it really is just to get Pop to look at his lips.

Pop gets upsets and leaves.

Third cut scene:

Hero doesn't just buy Pop a make-up New Year's gift; he buys the entire family gifts. Grandma gets a neck massager, the dad gets Nike shoes, auntie gets a gift, and the future little brother gets a painting/drawing set. Everyone resists, but eventually gives in, yet Poppy is still displeased, so the green color-coded ruler comes in handy.

Fourth cut scene:

After the teacher announces the students have to work as pairs for the next assignment, Pink Person Only immediately approaches Pop stating they will be partners, which upsets Hero, and Hero and Pop start to argue. Both keep suggesting Yellow Yal Tiger as the other's partner and both keep rejecting him WHILE HE SITS RIGHT THERE! Finally, Pop says HE will be Tiger's partner, and Hero and Only can be partners.

The two girls who like Hero and Only immediately step up to offer themselves as volunteers for a partnership, but the boys quickly reject them because this is a BL and they understand the queer agenda.

Pop is worried they might not have a good idea but learns that Tiger is more than prepared for their assignment as Tiger shows him all the research he has already done on his product for nose strips that ~help people with runny noses~

Hero and Only lurk from a small distance trying to figure out how to remedy this unsatisfactory situation. Hero discloses that he is designing a robot, to which Only questions why he needs Pop then when he already has a plan in mind. Hero does what he does best and threatens Only to go partner up with Tiger or he will squash him like a disposable cup.

So my color-coded OTP sails the shipping seas another day.

Because it's clear that Tiger designed the product with needs-eighty-million-tisssues-to-get-through-the-day Only.

Fifth cut scene:

After the incident in the classroom between Only and Tiger when Only became super defensive out of nowhere then invited Tiger over to his house all in one breath (even though we know Only was actually trying to hide a picture he drew of Tiger), he threatens to haunt his "kitty cat" until he accepts the invite like the girl in Shudder who sits on people's shoulders.

Tiger leaves, but while washing his hands, Tiger's color-coded phones alerts him that Only is sending a text to hound him some more about coming over. Tiger ignores it, and BAM!

He sees Only sitting on his shoulders in the mirror being super creepy. Then, BAM!

He sees Only everywhere stalking him and haunting him around campus.

However, it's clear from Only's reaction after being questioned by Hero and Pop while getting his PINK MILK that not all of this is in Tiger's mind.

Sixth cut scene:

These scenes were in the edited version, but the colors were coloring, and I love that Pop was really going to be a BL boy who lets his love interest soak in the rain without any effs to give.

But the next day, while they are talking about the auntie and the dad flirting, the scene is longer and explains the auntie's situation. Her ex cheated on her and picked the other woman over her. She wanted their kid, so she kept him, yet the ex continues to come around asking for money and others things but never helps out.

Pop mentions how kind and motherly she has been to him, so Hero asks if she was married to someone else, would the ex finally get the hint that she has moved on and quit brothering her.

Hence why our Green Guy tells his dad to step up and be the guy the auntie needs in her life after the ex tries to rob his own son!

So it does make sense that Pop is still sad his dad is married even though it was his idea only because he just wanted to help out the auntie.

The boys end the episode in red, so I'm unsure if we are entering into the danger zone, the passion era, or both.

But either way, MY SHIP IS SAILING!

[seventeenlovesthree]

Been reading the latest argument that you posted and I was wondering, what is your genuine opinion on Yamato outside of ships? You rarely talk about him (and you rarely talk about Mimi I noticed) not gonna lie those two are my faves (mostly because I love Gabumon and lilymon so I like their kids too) so what's your genuine opinion? Do You like them because you have to like them or do you dislike them because they get in the way of your ships(mostly Mimi x Koushiro but also Taito always gets better moments than Taikou in my opinion) so I was wondering what you actually think of them as individual characters?

Okay, first off, I am sensing a bit of hostility and passive aggressiveness in this ask - and I understand where this is coming from, I am actually not surprised at this and assume it was just a matter of time until it would come after the recent exchanges. Some friends of mine had their issues with certain fans of certain ships going after fans of other ships. Which, in my opinion, is not how fandom discourse should go, but I will just try my best to answer this diplomatically.

So I'll put up a disclaimer first: Just because I personally don't share the same favourite characters (and ships) doesn't mean that you're not allowed to like them! My order, from most to least favourite, goes like this and if it's not the same for you - that is fine!

Koushirou - 2. Taichi - 3. Sora - 4. Jyou / Hikari - 5. Takeru / Mimi - 6. Yamato

In regards to Yamato: A few weeks ago, I was already asked how I felt about him and I did answer. It's true that, among the original 8 Chosen Children, he is my least favourite and he - or rather his portrayal - does grind my gears at times, but that doesn't mean that I'd write him out of the story or anything like that - he has his purpose, he is an important part of the group, I adore the Yamataikou friendship trio (and, in theory, the Yamataikoura friend group we should have gotten more thoroughly) and Jyoumato is actually one of my favourite Digimon Adventure relationships (platonic and romantic) overall due to their dynamics, impact and how they play off of each other. Since my reasonings may sound emotionally loaded, I can understand if you don't agree with the post I linked above - and like I said, that's perfectly fine if you view him differently than I do.

In terms of shipping, it's a very personal topic that may cause us to react more emotionally than we need to at times and, just like with the characters themselves, we all have our biases and preferences too. For example, I am not the biggest fan of Mi-/mato (and Kou-/mi, as you have mentioned as well), because I personally do not consider them to be romantically compatible - but please don't let that stop you from liking them! Like I pointed out in my analysis, I can understand where people see the potential after all.

It's also not true that I never talk about either Yamato or Mimi - I have just recently conducted a fully fleshed-out fashion analysis about Yamato and Mimi's is still in the works as well (also, all my analysis posts can be found here). Mimi may also be lower on my favourites list overall, but I still would never want to miss her, because, again, she is one of eight puzzle pieces you simply cannot think away - especially if you consider her impact on Sora and Jyou and their respective character arcs and development in both Adventure and Tri! That also goes for a purely platonic angle once again (even if I like them as ships as well). In general, I have my very own ideas on who has the most impact on whom.

I just found it sad that you felt the need to underline that "Taito always gets better moments than Taikou in my opinion" - considering you came to a person who loves Taikou/Taishirou as their OTP. It felt condescending to me. But if that's your opinion, me listing all their, in MY opinion, wonderful and meaningful moments together may not convince you otherwise. Still, if you're interested in my analysis posts about Taishirou, I would like to recommend those to you: [General] [02] [Kizuna first impression] [Kizuna complete] [OG vs Reboot Comparison] [Fights and Forgiveness] [Family Angle I, II, III] [Male/Female characters shipping ratio] [Koushirou’s Dark Cave] [Stageplay I, II, III, IV] [Why I love them so much] [Connected through worlds] [Ship Analysis] [Taikouvember - Loyalty] [Visual Parallels] [Pecking Order] [Why I love them - once more] [Literal and Figurative 02 Dads] [Friendship]

In the end, it also doesn't matter who likes what and whom as long as we don't spread hate.

[chrysopoeias]

opinion posting about riza hawkeye/otp on something i see a lot around town but i disagree with.

Anyway. One thing I see more often than not is the idea that Hawkeye joined the military in order to chase after Mustang because she wanted to protect him. Or that she chased him while in love. But that is actually not true. I know ‘Because I have someone to protect’ is meemed into everyone’s head, but that was not her reason for joining the army. And it does not make sense either.

Like in a strategy guide to get Riza laid any% speedrun, what option is most logical?

1) Go completely no-contact with Mustang. Attend possibly multiple years of the military academy, likely in a different region from where he is. Get into a speciality that is wildly different from him. Git gud at that and then hope that maybe, if all the stars align her future boss will one day for some random reason put her in the proximity of this magic scientist she has not spoken to in years. And then ??? profit?

2) Literally just call Roy on his phone number, perhaps sent him a nice letter, or visit his address.

Sure, the first thing is what actually happened. But it's way too uncertain for that to have been planned. She did not need to be a soldier to be close to him. Roy was not a stranger to Riza, she had his current up to date contact info. He gave it to her on page/screen after her dad died. 

When she first sees Mustang in Ishval Hawkeye looks angered and shocked to see him. The first thing she says to him is ‘Do you remember me?’. These two had no contact at all between 1905 and 1908. Mustang got flame alchemy and skedaddled out of her life (even though he was supposed to look after her lmao) and Hawkeye also had clearly no intention of seeking him out when she could have done so easily. She did not join the army to protect him. And also, she says why she joined:

She wanted to improve the lives of the people of Amestris. So am I saying it had nothing to do with Mustang? Well no. Her reasons for joining the military are the same as his. 

She looked up to him. Here is this young man who has been to places beyond her sad little town and graduated from the military academy, he is a genius alchemist and must know what he’s talking about, right? That is on top of whatever their relationship was like before then, and whatever adoration she had for him already. She trusted him and thought his dreams were wonderful. Riza also wanted to believe in a peaceful future. Remember that they live in a totalitarian military dictatorship that has been in continued armed conflicts since the middle ages. There has never been a time of peace, ever, since the country was founded. And from the normie Amestrian point of view, they are just defending themselves from outside attacks. I believe that if Hawkeye and Mustang were sent to a border conflict instead of the civil war, they would have never questioned their government.

Anyway, Riza saw an opportunity to be useful with her own two hands, beyond being a walking notebook. Even if she could die in the process, it’d be worth to try. (And the military would also give her a salary after growing up in poverty and a place to live that is not the house she was abused in). She was a teenager with no family, no guidance, no idea what to make of herself. But this was something she could do. (She could have chosen many non-violent paths instead too, to be fair, but I digress).

And then it all went to shit obviously. You cannot become a sniper and never expect to kill. Selling your agency to the state means you can’t just play hero when you want to, you will be sent where ordered whether you like it or not, and forced to commit horrors or die a traitor. Believing the naive ideals of protecting her country was a mistake. Blindly admiring and trusting Mustang was a mistake. Smarter people than me can go expand on that.

But the ‘because there is someone I have to protect’ reason Hawkeye gives for being in the military is actually the reason why she stays. She could have gotten her diploma after Ishval and leave the military behind. But she chose not to.

She stays and will continue to kill because flame alchemy is her responsibility and she has created Mustang, all his kills are mentally hers. If she quits or kills herself while he does not, flame alchemy is still loose in the world outside her control. And just like Roy, she never fully gives up on her dream about protecting everyone. There must be a way to make all this worth it. There is still a way to change the country so future generations won’t have to go through what she did. She’s already doomed so she will take that responsibility so others won’t have to. She violently and fully clings to that.

If Mustang dies before doing anything positive for the world with their dreams and his abilities, all Hawkeye has done with her short life is cause destruction, murder and create a murderer, all the suffering would have been a waste. She cannot life with that guilt or continue the path alone, she will give up and kill herself. Especially in the scenario where she kills Roy herself, and with that her only hope.

There is no way out for them. But their murder-suicide pact was not planned for since they were young. They never intended to see each other again and spend their lives like this. You can blame dad for setting them up for failure.

[tenrousei-kuroi]

Hi. I was just wondering how do you perceive canon Sirius? I haven’t read any of the books and I keep seeing different interpretations (psychotic bully top, Regina George, woke gen z etc etc) of this character it really makes me wonder.

Oh, that's a really good question...and you have no idea the novel-length response it's going to prompt from me, lol.

I'll give my short response first and only the brave and masochistic will need to venture below the cut...

Sirius was as good a person as most people can reasonably be. He suffered a lot in his life and didn't handle it very well. While he showed that he logically understood right and wrong, the moral complexity of the world, etc., he was ultimately someone who struggled to live by his own standards. A hypocrite, really, though I say that word a bit more softly than most. He spent half his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit yet still felt guilty for and was never really given the chance to properly mature.

Ultimately the words I would use would be immature, depressed, selfish, and regretful. Very much the poster child for displacement, ie: someone who has been hurt taking that anger and acting out towards others.

We learn directly who Sirius is after Azkaban, through his appearances in the first five books. And we learn indirectly about his Hogwarts years through a few flashbacks and lot of very biased recollections...

Because Harry Potter is the point of view character for the series, we don't ever get to see anyone else's thoughts, and so any interpretations of character motivations are going to get run through two filters: one is Harry's perception, and the second is the reader themselves.

That's a longform way of me admitting that my interpretations of Sirius Black may actually say more about me than they really do about him.

So I can't claim to be right or anything like that when I spout off how I personally feel about a secondary character like Sirius. But I do like to think my ideas are grounded in pretty solid logic. I guess I'll start off with what Sirius Black really isn't:

A woke gen z-er, as you put it lol. There's of course nothing wrong with someone going this route in their fanfics, it's all just for fun, and I like a lot of these works, personally. And I can see how and why people gravitate towards them. But I will warn anyone whose entire experience with the Marauders is coming from fanfics where Sirius Black is helping Timothee Chalamet his brother navigate his trans awaking and calming his lover Remus Lupin down from a panic attack using Tik-Tok approved counseling tricks to not go diving into the actual canon Harry Potter series expecting that....because you will not find it, lol.

An incestuous and abusive psychopath. I gotta' be fair and throw my own works under the same bus here. As much as I think I stick closer to canon Sirius in a lot of ways....the Sirius that pops up in my fanfic shenanigans is just as out of left field. As much as Sirius/Regulus has been my OTP for basically forever, I could never actually see canon-Sirius displaying the level of deliberate, active cruelty or complete lack of basic morality that I like to attach to him. Like other people giving him the vocabulary of a 2020's Tik-Tok star, it's just a fun fantasy on my end.

So I guess that leaves us with trying to figure out what exactly Sirius Black is. At least as far as we can surmise from his canon behaviors.

Full disclosure that I am not including Pottermore or any of JKR's random tweets. As far as I'm concerned, canon is the 7 main books and I don't pay attention to much else. So let's break it down book-by-book:

Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone: He's mentioned once here, just in passing. Hagrid talks about Sirius lending him his motorcycle to get Harry to the Dursleys' faster. With the context we later gain from book three, we can plausibly assume that Sirius Black is incredibly reactive, and quick to go all-in on things in the wake of a huge emotional upset. With his friends dead and Hagrid refusing to give him his godson, Sirius essentially 'throws away' his most prized possession and only getaway--his motorcycle--and then goes away with the Aurors, laughing loudly instead of trying to proclaim his innocence.

Prisoner of Azkaban: This is Sirius's book and he spends 80% of it as the villain, at least until the Truth(tm) is revealed at the end. But even though he's proven not to be a Death Eater or murderer, he still behaves alarmingly. It's explained that Sirius's innocence was the 'unhappy' thought that kept him sane in prison, but it didn't stop him from becoming obsessive. He's so consumed with the desire for revenge against Peter Pettigrew (not necessarily saying I blame him, lol) that he is willing to endanger and even outright hurt Harry and his friends to do so. He does make mention that part of his motivation was to 'save Harry' as he felt Peter being in disguise as a rat living at Hogwarts was dangerous to his godson. But he did almost choke the kid out in that shack when he got in the way of Peter Pettigrew Murder Time, lol. So Sirius was somewhat emotionally volatile. It's clear he doesn't always think things through before he acts.

This is further reiterated with the whole Snape-Lupin-James werewolf fun times fiasco. We don't get a direct and honest retelling of "The Prank" events ever, instead having to make due with different characters giving their opinions on decades-old memories. Dumbledore first presents the issue without mentioning Sirius at all, merely telling Harry in the first book that Snape "never forgave" James for saving his life and then trying to pass off all of Snape's behaviors towards Harry as a sort of begrudging protective role and half-assed effort to make even with a ghost. By book three we get more context and learn that James "saved" Snape after Sirius told him how to get to the Shack. Sirius clearly has a habit of razing things down in anger without thought towards the consequences, and then hiding from the responsibility, possibly from selfishness or guilt or both. We know that Remus, Lily and others were able to forgive him for nearly getting Snape killed and Remus imprisoned, so it's likely that his guilt over the situation was genuine.

Basically here we have someone who does not handle emotions well. Possibly an environmentally learned trait from growing up with the kind of parents that burn pictures of you and loudly declare you're not welcome at home anymore yet never actually disown you from their will...can't say for sure, but...ya' know...

Goblet of Fire: After the immediate chaos of breaking out of prison fades and Sirius has a support group of friends who know and believe he's innocent, he gets to transition a bit, and we see that he is also very protective and eager to be involved. He has a couple moments where he goes full Dad-mode on Harry, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledore finding him a good hiding spot in Hogsmeade was less of a "hey Sirius come hang out near the school" thing and more of an "okay I know I can't stop you from getting as close to Harry as possible, will you please at least stay in this safe hiding spot I found for you?" concession.

We also see Sirius criticizing Barty Crouch Sr. for not being there for his son. Sirius is able to connect the dots and comes to the logical conclusion that much of Barty Crouch Jr.'s behavior is the fault of his father for being uncaring in the first place. He sees that those around the Death Eaters do--in some cases--bear some blame for not paying attention, for not reaching out, and for ultimately setting them up to join Voldemort. Yet...Sirius does not seem willing to connect this realization to his own treatment of Severus Snape, his younger brother, or even Peter Pettigrew.

Order of the Phoenix: This is where we get the most of his character, I feel, and some of it is subtle. I'll admit that 90% of my characterization of Sirius as actually caring deeply for his brother comes from the sixth chapter:

"...my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them..."

...

"Was he killed by an Auror?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Oh no," said Sirius. "No, he was murdered by Voldemort...from what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do."

Harry asks if Regulus has been killed. And as Sirius corrects his assumptions about Reg being offed by an Auror, he also corrects the verb, from killed to murdered. And generally you don't describe a just killing as a murder. Death Eater or not, Sirius didn't think his brother deserved to die. He also admits that he went actively looking for information about Regulus. Again not the mark of someone who doesn't care.

And while I would describe Sirius as immature, that does not mean he was completely without maturity. He takes a lot of hits in this book, a lot of very harsh words get flung his way. He has to deal with Snape's constant snide remarks about how cowardly Sirius is for staying at home cleaning all day instead of fighting Voldemort, hell, he has to sit there and let the Weasley twins call him a coward to his face just because they're upset that their father has been injured and they're angry that Sirius is safe under house arrest while their parents aren't.

And all this because he's still a wanted fugitive, unable to venture outside safely. He wants to fight but can't. Powerlessness and depression hit him hard in this book.

In the chapter where Harry dives into Snape's pensieve we get our one and only 'objective' view of Sirius as a teenager, where it becomes clear that he was arrogant, handsome, talented, and very popular. He also liked to start altercations. This is actually our first big fissure between Harry and Sirius, and between Harry and his dad.

While James and Sirius are shown as going out of their way to pick fights with someone they don't like, Harry is such a passive and much more emotionally aware character that this causes significant pain to him. To find out that Sirius and James really were bullies is a big blow to Harry, who would never behave that way. He spent most of his childhood being bullied, after all, and I think that in that memory, Harry realized just how much more he identified with Snape as opposed to his own father and godfather and that really freaked him out.

Not to mention how uncomfortable it is to realize that these "bullies" were people Harry loved. Because once you have to come to terms with finding out someone you respect and love has done something cruel, it leaves your opinions on others shaky. This moment wasn't just about making Harry realize there was a "bad side" to Sirius and James, but also the first step towards helping him understand there may be a good side to people like Dudley Dursley or Draco Malfoy.

Sirius is quick to dismiss his past mistakes, he rarely owns up to them. This doesn't mean he's got no conscience, just that he--once again--does not deal with emotions easily. He clearly doesn't respond to his own guilt very well. So he brushes off his treatment of Snape and even his dismissal of his own family. In Sirius's mind, he and James are "allowed" to have matured out of their past bad behaviors and deserve to not be criticized for them...yet Sirius is unwilling to extend this grace to others. Everyone else around him is permanently stuck as how he first perceived them.

Sirius never finding out the full truth of Regulus's death is a huge disappointment to me, as I would have loved to have seen how he reconciled his inability to change his mind about his family with such an obvious act of heroism.

Ultimately book 5 shows that Sirius is, like a lot of us, very susceptible to "being a good person in theory". He very easily falls prey to cruel behaviors against "bad" people. He treats Kreacher the house elf terribly and uses his position as Kreacher's master to control and belittle him, using it almost as an opportunity for revenge against his family for what must have been a rough childhood. Yet he would never do that if Kreacher were nice to him.

It's a sort of complicated hypocrisy. Sirius treats people based on his personal feelings towards them, not based on what is right. Snape was "a little oddball up to his eyes in the Dark Arts", and that is how Sirius justifies his and James's behaviors. The reality is that Sirius wanted to be good, clearly saw himself as a hero, and was more than willing to die to protect the people he loved (he literally does die in this book to help Harry). But he still gave into the same kind of selfish cruelty he complained about growing up with.

It's not just that he was "an idiot at the age of fifteen", as he describes it. Most of us were. Anyone who claims they were always an enlightened progressive-minded justice fighter constantly standing up for the marginalized is just not remembering age twelve very well. The true mark of Sirius's character is that he can't handle the guilt. When the topic comes up, he hides from it, brushing people off quickly and making excuses. He is unable to openly and honestly confront his own mistakes.

Sirius himself told Harry "the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters" and those are probably the wisest words in the whole series. Yet...he was unable to actually live by those words.

Do as I say and not as I do, right? Lol.

Ultimately this character flaw was his downfall. The climax of book 5--and consequently Sirius's death, as well--comes as a direct result of Kreacher's betrayal, a betrayal he was only able to pull off because Sirius, in one of his many fits of anger towards the elf, ordered him "OUT."

He was definitely one of the good guys. I'm not here with any edgy take about how Sirius was somehow worse than the literal wizard nazis. But also...he wasn't perfect, either, and he did and said some very bad things.

A lot of people I think find comfort in that binary split, where characters are either perfect angels or the worst monsters ever. And the meta that get the most clicks are going to be the ones that take those crazy stances of "'[Character You Hate] is Actually a Perfect Angel and Here's Why" or vice versa.

I know that I personally used to write like that, as well. It's actually a touch painful to look back at some of my earliest writings and see just how badly they lacked any nuance...(but boy did I feel like I was making some serious Statements(tm) at the time lol). So it's safe to say my idea of Sirius has definitely grown with time. As have my interpretations of the rest of the characters, too. The more life experiences you have, the better context you can bring to the stories you read. The more diverse people you meet, the more you can start to understand. As your real world grows, so too do the fictional worlds you read about.

So that's my idea of Sirius Black in a very large nutshell. This is the first time I've ever spit all these thoughts out at one time and it was fun to do!

I've seen a lot of different interpretations of Sirius's character over the years and I hope I didn't come across as dissing on any of them. What the reader brings to the table is key. My ideas of why Sirius did the things he did is heavily influenced by my experiences with friends and members of my own family. And the specific areas where my stories jump off from canon into my own little world is equally born of my own life. They come from my memories and from my interests. What ideas I personally like to explore. So when I see someone else's fanfic be just radically off base from how I would have ever conceived of writing the character...I get it.

He's not a real person. So no matter how you see him you can't really be wrong. Each different Sirius Black that pops up on tumblr or Ao3 is just a little window into what's interesting or important to that author.

っ◕‿◕)っ ♥

Love, Ten

[yourcousin-vinny]

I have moar questions for the OTP + CHARACTER ASK because I really wanna pick your brain (only if you want!!). So: 16, 18 and 19 C:

bestie, i love when people pick my brain.

16 - covers

This one is so straightforward to me. Zeb is covered in fur and rarely needs covers (until Hoth). Kallus has minimal fur and frequently feels like the chill never left him after Bahryn (this I think is why he's still wearing a quilted jacket on the humid rainforest that is Yavin IV). It's less that Kallus hogs the covers and more that Zeb gives them to him and then wraps around him too (until Hoth, when Zeb valiantly tries to steal some back, or at least cuddle close enough to Kal that they can reasonably share the covers).

18 - drunk

They're both big lads so I think they both have a pretty high tolerance for how much alcohol they can consume. Where they differ is Zeb still has a few stone on Kallus, so he can drink more without feeling it as much, but Kallus is also incredible at still appearing sober when he's deep into his cups. Kal started drinking early and his time rising through ISB meant he got really good at lying, so if you aren't super close with him you may not even realize the glass in front of him is number 4 and not him still nursing the first one. But those who are close to him, namely Zeb but the rest of the Ghost crew too, can pick up on little tells. He laughs a bit more freely, he's even snarkier than usual, sometimes he gets flushed. Because he's an adult, he knows not to get into the rowdy shenanigans he used to as a teen, but sometimes there's a glint in his eye and he gets tempted to pickpocket or climb the side of the temple or drag Zeb to dance with him (see: makeout on the dance floor). If he's playing sabacc, though, he lets his opponents think he's way more drunk than he is and swindles them out of their credits.

Zeb gets more outgoing and gregarious, which is a freedom that comes with joining the Rebellion and having a relatively safe home base. Every time he's drunk he makes new friends, and for a lot of those new friends it's the first time they see Zeb as someone who's approachable and not scary. He's relaxed and has his arms draped over the back of the booth, but when the mood strikes him he can get rowdy and wrastle with people. He never starts a fight though.

The two of them drinking together is honestly not much different than them relaxing at other times. They're old men (by Rebellion nightlife standards); they aren't trying to give themselves hangovers tomorrow. But they will sit shoulder-to-shoulder for an entire night, having quiet side conversations and making the rest of their table think they're already together when neither of them has as much as thought about it.

When only one has been drinking, both have been known to fireman carry the other back to their bunk.

19 - fights

Before they're together, it's really small stuff mostly (I know you used my repair kit, now where did you karking put it), but sometimes it's really big stuff, along the lines of who is allowed to forgive whom and for what. Kallus doesn't feel worthy of Zeb's forgiveness for Lasan; Zeb doesn't feel worthy of Kallus' forgiveness for not getting him off the Chimaera sooner. But they work through it. They talk to each other, even if they go in circles for a while, and they trust each other.

They're later fights are even more hypocritical. They always yell at each other when there was a close call or when one of them did something reckless, even though they both know they would've done the same thing if it meant saving the rest of the ship or not sacrificing the mission. Oooohhh but these can be knock down drag out fights. They say horrible things to each other because they know each other so well and know their pressure points, then immediately regret it. These fights don't happen often, but they require a cool-off period. Zeb stays with Hera, Kallus stays with Cassian or Sabine if she has her own quarters. But even after a fight like this, they still can talk it out and repair it.

On Lira San, the fights go back to "where did you put the damn vegetable peeler."

[grumfield]

Hey, I hope this isn’t too weird of a question but feel free to ignore. I noticed on your Star Wars ship chart you have obikin as your OTP but vaderwan only as “like”. Aren’t they the same characters? Why do you like one more than the other

Okay SO sorry for the late response to this I was mulling over how to articulate it.

Vaderwan as a sex/relationship dynamic is fun. For me it’s fun in the way like “grrr you’re mine slams you against the wall” dubcon is fun, but that’s really as compelling as it gets for me because I really don’t see a place in their relationship at that point where they could go beyond that until they’re force ghosts. Vaderwan dynamic to me kind of exists in a PWP-shaped vacuum. What if Tom & Jerry was about freaky sex instead. One-off erotic torture episodes.

This is because like, to kind of paraphrase an earlier response I gave, by the time Vaderwan is a thing they’ve both taken on the mantle of different identities (Ben and Vader respectively) and subsequently are no longer the people they were before. Their *past* selves that existed before the destruction of the Jedi have a very fraught history, but their current selves don’t look at each other with the same level of interpersonal history because Anakin is dead to Obi-Wan and vice versa (obviously this is just my interpretation) (I do actually view them as the same people but they don’t view themselves as the same people so they functionally aren’t)

Vaderwan as a non-actual ship or sex/romance concept is more compelling to me tbh.

The Deborah chow obi wan show does something interesting with this because it starts from a place of emotional inequality where obi-wan hasn’t gone full Ben yet and thinks he killed Anakin (thus Anakin like “still exists” even though he’s dead if that makes sense), so there’s this stilted quality where like, he’s still trying to interact with Anakin when he deals with Vader but doesn’t realize yet that he’s trying to interact with a ghost. Their fights are kind of reflective of this and then at the end after their final fight they both respectively embrace who they are. Sort of reflected in how obi wan just tells him bye and immediately leaves with no emotional reaction at all, then after that speaks about Anakin in the past tense for the first time before returning to the desert and being Ben, because Vader has just admitted to him that he needs to get with the program because Anakin is long gone and he’s chasing a memory. Vader’s thing with him has this Tom and Jerry feel to it while also this need less to capture him but more to try and make Obi-Wan see that Anakin isn’t there anymore/Anakin and Obi-Wan are not a thing anymore, they’re both dead.

Obi-Wan show is very gothic in that respect lol…vaderwan is very gothic and compelling to me as the tragic end rather than the place where they start their relationship or work it out

Truly the kings of compartmentalization! Easier to deal with all of this shit if you don’t view yourself as yourself.

Anyways favorite part obikin is the weird complicated ways that they fuck each other up and the knowledge of where it leads, and where it leads is like the catharsis for me + vaderwan is fairly straightforward and post-catharsis so it’s fun but not as insanity inducing for me! But I still enjoy it.

But this why my preferred post every event in ROTS Obikin fic is like “obi-wan is hallucinating anakin in the desert and going crazy” or other associated metaphysical stuff

ALSO to paraphrase what my friend said: Obi-Wan is very passive (in the books especially!) and doesn’t ever choose, he needs to be pursued. Anakin as Vader ultimately needs to be chosen, Obi-Wan will never be the one to chase so will never be the one to choose. And this is also very much an essence of it etc. adds to the tragedy but I wouldn’t have it any other way hehe

[milk-crater]

@mobiblackout asked me what I thought of Adam/Kyle, Adam/Roddy, and Adam/Max. So, below the cut are my fandom ramblings/headcanons.

Adam and Kyle: I see these two as having the most brotherly bond out of all these pairs. By brotherly, I don't mean it's all love and good vibes. I am also talking the jealous, sibling rivalry of brotherhood too. Not quite Cain and Able level heat, but Remus and Romulus levels. My head cannon is that they would have tried to make it work as a relationship, mainly when they were young and stupid, but they'd Always being on different wave lengths in the bedroom. Like, when one guy wants to be silly and sweet the other guy starts getting annoyed and being like "dude, can't you be serious for once? >: ( " and that ruining the vibe. I think it could be different in a polycule though where it's not just Adam and Kyle butting heads. And when things are good and they all have gold, I think it awakens a kind of base/greedy/lewd side to Kyle that he doesn't have when he's a scrappy underdog. When he's the 'over dog', he can vibe with Adam and be like "Actually, you know what? We rule. We're awesome. Let's fuck." What I'm saying is lots of belt sex. Adam and Roddy: Where there's a kind of friction always present with Kyle, it's not the case with Adam and Roddy. Maybe it wasn't love at first sight, but pretty darn close. There's an easy intimacy, lots of tender touches, kisses, brushing back hair and the like. Heart eyes big time. And despite Roddy being seven years older, for both him and Adam it's a kind of puppy love. And that infatuation has lasted for nearly fifteen years! Sure they've gotten to know each other more and their relationship is different as they themselves changed, but there's still this kind of first bloom affection even now. HOWEVER, that is both a blessing and a curse as something I mentally stumble over with Roddy/Adam is them ever being more than affectionately platonic. Like, I can't see either of them actually getting the other off. Like, they would have tried and it felt weird fast, and so they stick to cuddles and skin to skin contact. So, where does this leave horny little Adam Cole? He's got one fuck buddy who he fights with a lot to the point where they're not compatible, and another guy who adores is amazingly sweet but just doesn't do it for him. If only there was someone else out there, someone ambitious like him and has a strong personality but also adores him...

Enter Max! I think part of what I like about Adamjf as a pairing is Adam being taken by surprise that someone like Max could even exist. Max is motivated and strong-willed but also willing to hear Adam out while not being a push over. He would take charge in bed while also being fully focused on making Adam feel good. And I think Adam might have found himself kind of being charmed by being the more submissive one--don't get me wrong, he always bottoms, but I feel with most of his past partners he'd make it a point to be the one calling the shots in the bedroom like he was calling a match. But with Max, he doesn't feel the need to do that. He is probably more shocked than anyone that he is okay with letting Max take the lead, and in his eyes this kind of adds to the shine Max has on him.

But Max and Adam don't have a long history together, and because of Adam's issues (and Max's own history) he feels like he can't trust MJF, which is why they break apart. With them being my OTP, I'm hoping as time moves on and history accumulates between them, they get back together with a better understanding of themselves and each other.