#the other thing is how would a being of pure light exist in a world of neither darkness nor light
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eunhyuung · 1 day ago
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𖦹. “𝐈 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇, 𝐘’𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖?” — (𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐑)
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𖦹. — 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. honestly, he’s never intended for things to turn out this way because as they say—curiosity killed the cat, didn’t it? too bad, he likes what he’s seeing too much, huh? 6.2k words.
𖦹. — 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 . . . bitch boy kylar’s pervasive ways of being an absolute freak, jerking off, scent kink as in the loser disgustingly sniffs at his own pre-cum stained underwear, voyeurism through a screen, unsuspecting camboy! reader (amab) using his favourite fan’s flesh-light, massive parasocial relationship, kylar purely getting off to the mere fantasy of you so lovingly fucking his mouth full and slobbering all over your cock. wow. shit, that’s gross.
𖦹. — 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬, 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠? “I think he’s cute, but he’s fucking pathetic. adds to the charm though.”
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Undoubtedly, he’s intricately aware of the baseless rumours currently circulating throughout the school due to him. Not that he pays it much mind, as a loner himself—there’s not much that comes forth from uselessly dwelling on ushered statements whispered amongst each nosy student attending the worn establishment.
Especially when he’s grown accustomed to the unfair treatment sent his way, preferring to concentrate on the positive aspects of his measly day-to-day life instead, no matter how minor those details may be. Practically nonexistent in comparison to the absolutely negatives—if anything, but. . . unwavering optimism is a virtue, correct? More or less.
“Did you see him? You’d think he won the goddamn lottery or somethin’—“ One would randomly perk up out of the blue as the other’s words seamlessly tumbled forth from between their lips. “Stop shitting with me. Think that freak has anything to smile about?” And as predictably expected on their part, doubtful silence filled the daunting atmosphere before the overly harsh cackling of laughter soon followed after.
“No way!!”
Right. Hurtful as it may be, wasn’t any less further from the truth to confidently proclaim that Kylar’s life was utter shit from start to finish. From an accumulation of numerous events that notably stemmed from mere bad luck or perhaps, as he so effortlessly believed so himself—a dreadful curse one had so cruelly placed upon him and the rest of his beloved family for. . . God knows what, how would he know anyway? Maybe it was due to an unforgivable sin he’s unknowingly committed in his distant past life or, from sheer, utter hatred on a stranger’s bitter end.
Solemnly beginning with the inexplicable loss of a treasured, cherished childhood friend of, he’d rather not utter the name itself—only to bitterly finish with the concerning changes in his parents questionable behaviour, not to mention the physical morphs in their formerly human appearances. That is, if they’ve managed to retain any semblance of consciousness from their lives previously shared as a family.
And to be honest, it’s a miracle he hasn’t suddenly dropped dead from the sheer amount of stress the outside world brings him. Hurt after hurt, mindless insult after another ruthlessly hurled towards his retreating figure in the school’s stuffy courtyard by snickering classmates.
At times like these, wordlessly thinking back to the gleaming knife occupying the depths of his baggy pocket does somewhat soothe the dull pain aching within his chest.
Somewhat.
Regardless, seething with misery and tainted despair is what he should’ve rightfully remained so, for the entirety of his pathetic life. Least, that was the intended plan on his end. Fortunately, most things don’t ever go as planned in life, do they? And neither was the accidental discovery of your surprising existence, too. One which he repeatedly thanks the divined heavens from above for so generously gracing him with your perfect being—even if not physically there, as you’re merely hidden away behind the greasy, smudged surface of his unprotected, cum-stained screen.
Yeah, he does periodically forget to neatly wipe those unceremonious accidents of his away. . . Mostly the embarrassing bit where the freak is unpredictably shooting forth his fat load all over his tousled bedsheets and of course, his dimly lit, previously discarded phone screen that merely happens to be consequently lying nearby—at the edge of the loner’s unmade bed. Somehow neglecting to absently clean his disorganized room, rotting for none to see due to his inborn laziness or better put, sheer lack of motivation to truly do something about the grimy mess irritably found at his feet.
Crummy wrappers from whatever unhealthy, overly sweetened snack he’s ingested for the day, used socks filled with. . . well, you’d know the typical stereotype of what lonely, unloved boys do in the desolate tranquility of their bedrooms anyway, unwashed clothes laid askew; you name it.
Although, it’s partially your fault for purposefully making your streams so very tempting—practically impossible to stubbornly last till the bitter end if he’s so much as given the slightest glimpse of your pretty cock, mere sound of your wistful sighs and voice carefully articulating his username amongst the hoard of just as eager viewers.
What a shame, he’d just about care more for the dire state of his dirtied room if it meant somehow impressing you in the process. Like the loser would ever be so graciously given the exquisite chance to timidly invite you to his sore excuse of a room, lest he found you for real and, y’know—committed a few illegal acts or two to drag you towards that desired place of his choice. Selfishly kept you to himself for an undetermined amount of time, preferably forever and ever actually. . . !
Oh, he does dearly promise he’d take good care of you. That’s for sure.
Speaking of, he’s always possessed the annoyingly obsessive tendency to easily fall for a fictional character on the other end of a layered screen, but. . . Certainly not like this, no. Since you’re a real, existing person, are you not? A living, breathing human with his own life he’s blissfully unaware of—foreign details and such, are wholly unnecessary to him, because your self is solely what he’s truthfully interested in, really! Sorely convicted no one could ever hope to pitifully understand the true reason as to why he’s been recently sporting that idiotic grin plastered amongst his usually aloof features.
Distractingly sketching more and more admittedly good, yet messy drawings in the private remnants of his notebook’s torn pages. Immediately squeaking at the sudden presence of his english teacher’s. . . what’s-his-name, mister Doren(?) hovering over his hunched shoulders to questioningly quip up as to what may be so important for him to childishly doodle during learning time, huh?
Well, you see—fairly, it’s quite simple, if not entirely self-explanatory when thoroughly observing his recently odd mannerisms and gestures.
Y’see, most would reasonably laugh dead in his face at the sickeningly sweet answer, though what need is there to hide it? It’s evident what the local school’s favourite punching bag has been shockingly struck with. As cheesy as it may be to discreetly gossip amongst one another, the sole undeniable fact that—
“The freak’s obviously in love and crushing on someone or somethin’, no doubt about it. I mean, look at him! He looks like he’s just about ready to float off the earth!!”
“Fuck, don’t word it that way. That’s so fuckin’ gross. Y’a think he actually likes someone—? Like, here? In this school?? Stands no chance. What’s the use of liking ‘em if they’ll run at the sight of you anyway?” Seldomly wrong on that part, there’s no way to precisely tell that identity of yours if your face is disappointingly out of view in each of your films! Therefore, he’d like to take note of it someday, y’know. . . Instead of, ah—humiliatingly jerking off alone to the hazy thought of your faceless body. Not to say, that isn’t disgustingly hot enough on its own. Fucking pervert that he is, plenty to get him off on.
“Hey, now don’t be so mean. He could hear us over there. . . Didn’t you hear what he did to that one girl in class cuz’ she tried to take his shitty sketchbook? Heard she’s stuck in the hospital for a month because of him. Crazy stuff.”
Unsurprisingly so, a scornful pout would’ve expectantly found itself upon his chapped lips at those stray comments if it were any other day of the week. Frustratingly clutching at the worn edges of his school bag hanging limply from his small figure from the seething urge to impulsively retort back. However, what use is there to miserably wallow when your favourite show is bound to showcase itself on screen soon enough? And what he so innocently refers to as some ‘show’ are those naughty streams of yours he’s been regularly keeping up to date with, without missing a single one for that matter—you should be proud of him, really. Is starting soon, as per usual—in about. . . ?
Oh, luckily he’s got plenty of time to wordlessly settle himself in his spacious bedroom before your precious recordings commence. Methodically checking the numbers displayed on his cellphone to indicate the countdown till the sole thing he’s been excitedly looking forward to for the past few, dwindling months, does eventually begin.
Since today is a special day, indeed—is it not?Thoughtlessly humming to himself at the expectant treat patiently awaiting his arrival at home, much to other passerby’s apparent discontent at the rather. . . horrible sound being sung throughout the pathway to his forgotten, desolate manor. Singing melodic notes, especially at the Temple’s choir never was much of his forte for that matter. That’s alright, though! Fortunately enough, he’s confident he can painfully endure anything that this insane town throws at him today. And ‘course, that stupidly includes the dirty looks shot in his direction, too.
Because today. . . today is a special day, yes—he gleefully repeats so, to himself. Y’know, like some maniac.
And akin to how a mechanical key automatically turns itself within the depths of a narrow lock, routine settles in thickly at the back of his mind as his feet instinctively shuffle themselves through the doorway of his beloved house. Less beloved in the sense that it isn’t exactly properly maintained, as obviously proven by the multitude of stains abandoned about upon every wooden surface, it seems. Uneasy floorboards bound to eventually collapse underneath the meager weight of his lanky body, which is a miracle that it hasn’t already by now, actually.
Not to mention, disgraceful cobwebs precariously hanging from below each cornered ceiling, but there still retains a semblance of charm to the place, a little—he thinks. Personally. Majorly due to the familiarity it instills within his boyish brain and it being his lone sanctuary where he feels remotely at peace, unperturbed from outsiders prying eyes.
“I-I’m home.” Timidly calling out to the single place that’d welcome him so, in a hushed, open embrace. But, as per expected, no pleased response comes forth to counter that shrill, little voice of his—having progressively grown accustomed to announce his eventual arrival to what he still sheepishly refers to as his parents, at least, even if they might not outwardly reply with a normal chime of their own. Perhaps he’ll be met occasionally with a hiss or two, yet he doesn’t really dare to enter any further into their territory without loads of garlic necklaces clumsily hooked along his delicate neck. Coward, he is—even in the face of his own mother and father, although it does possess its perks when it comes to avoiding trouble at school or notably, that filthy blonde’s presence.
That is to say, there’s no point in uselessly ruminating any further about an establishment that bores his bare unhappiness, right? Briefly stealing a glimpse to where his parent’s doorway restlessly lies partially accessible, surely aware of his newfound return—judging by the bored clatter of their glinting, metallic fangs concealed below the extended bed. Oh, they’re waving at him, clearly! Least, he positively thinks so if he hasn’t been ruthlessly attacked yet, so far. Unlike certain intruders skittering ‘round the mansion, that being rats. Ah, merely envisioning the little creatures draws a shuddered breath out of his wrinkling nose, jolting shivers coursing throughout the curved length of his spine.
There are far more important matters presently tending to his current attention, however. You, you, you—your upcoming stream. You, you, you . . . Obviously. Occupying the vast majority of his brain and, as for the last remainder—it being the sheer embarrassment of his progressively growing hard-on straining against the rough material of his ripped jeans. Oh, and now he’s popping boners purely from thinking about you?? Like he hasn’t done so before in class either, bitterly reminiscing over the painful memory of skittering away to the boys bathroom for a quick. . . tending to, as in pervertedly pumping his cock full in the tight confines of an unkempt stall. Shakily whining out your name (more like username, really) between muffled whimpers as sweet release mercilessly found the loner and he, ungracefully so, spilled the entirety of his sticky seed along the rest of his rumpled school uniform.
. . .Yeah, he’s definitely got a vast amount of issues to deal with. But, he can helplessly worry about that unimportant part later.
The continuous pitter patter of his feet carefully made up to the balanced stairwell—where his meticulously made shrine of you remains still, by the way—endlessly carries on. Opposite to how the insistent, rhythmic pumping of his discomposed heart feverishly beats with each huff drawn forth of the outcast’s hitched sighs. Creaking floorboards noisily squeaking beneath each incessant footsteps made towards his own private room before finally. . . finally, soundlessly shutting the oaky door with a resounding click and an exhaled breath of relief.
And so, it begins.
Familiar, shrouded darkness envelops his figure whole all at once within the restrictive bounds of his exclusive chamber. Movements seamlessly acted out on an automatic everyday-thing as he so thoughtlessly—to his mattress’s strained annoyance—flings his worn bag containing practically nothing, save for his sketchbook and a singular, used pencil—upon the squeaking, cushiony surface with an audible thud! Well, he’s always been somewhat irresponsible when it came to his possessions in hand lest they held some semblance of emotional attachment to him in some shape or form. Fortunately, he withholds an acceptable excuse for his hasty behaviour this time, yeah, swears it’s an adequate one! Of course it’d perpetually be when it comes to you, his esteemed beloved, his one and only. (To what he’s thoroughly deluded himself to blindly believe so.)
Ah, how unbridled excitement quells within his chest with each shaky step forward to his unattended, cluttered desk. Smiling gleefully to himself in absent thought at the six, available monitors at his disposal—who’re poorly reflecting the sight of his eager expression at the moment, too. Oh, he doesn’t mean to appear like a frantic puppy in heat right off the bat without having even received his sweetened treat.
Though, can he be possibly faulted for it when he’s hardly a few seconds away from being so lovingly graced with your company on the other side of a limited screen? Helplessly devoted in the woeful sense that simply a single snippet of your soothing voice renders him blissfully breathless, weak in the knees bound to soon buckle beneath your honeyed words? Has him torturously aching downwards to where his dripping wet cock tents against the layered fabric of his pants?? Perfection couldn’t even begin to accurately describe your being devoid of any flaws.
So idiotically hooked that the perverted freak is already slumping himself atop the accommodating, swivelling seat of his chair—instinctually placing his connected headset onto the unkempt strands of hair naturally curling around the indented shape with a pleased hum. Y’know, just to be safe. Potentially due to the considerable awkwardness of if he were to accidentally play a pornographic stream aloud, beyond the confidential walls of his room.
Last thing he’d like to bashfully admit outwardly to his parents is how hopelessly infatuated their son is for another boy who isn’t even remotely aware of his flickering existence. Besides the frantic amounts of fanboy comments the loner usually leaves behind, majority of it containing the sheer euphoria of witnessing such a pretty boy as yourself—so boldly displaying himself for thousands upon thousands, possibly more granted the frustratingly recent spike in your growing popularity, to see. Solely perceived as an overly enthusiastic fan that consequently happens to be attending each and every stream of yours, in a vain attempt to someday, be supposedly noticed by his dearest idol.
Undeniable trepidation restlessly courses through his veins, jittery fingertips grazing amongst the crumb stained keys—which, he never thoughtfully bothers to sanitize, exactly—before ultimately typing in the uh. . . ah, it’s still considerably embarrassing to be navigating through a raunchy, naughty site filled to the brim with erotic content. Not to say, he hasn’t especially skimmed through some. . . exceptionally questionable ones in the distant past, but none seemed to wholly satisfy him nor brought him such disgustingly heated interest like your live recordings either. Hah, he’s just so utterly down bad for you—it’s mildly flustering.
Another which he’ll soon be given the meticulous chance to joyfully witness in the gloomy atmosphere of his bedchamber, if anything else. Arrow pointed key impatiently hovering over the strikingly red button labeled for newcomers to ‘join on in’ to where your stream is bound to usually begin. Yes—he’s memorized your neatly made schedule of commencing your tapes every Thursday afternoon, around thirty minutes after he’s finally released from the sorrowful imprisonment of school. And. . . the gleaming ‘live’ signal should be surfacing any second now. Precisely in five—four, three, two. . . and, one.
Click.
[Now recording.]
“Oh— ahah, god. 200 viewers already? No, it’s climbing up to 254 now. . . You guys are already that happy to see me, huh?? I’m flattered.” Whether to necessarily fixate upon your rosy, moving lips deeply articulating each syllable with a musing grin of your own, albeit a shame that’s about as much as he’ll be able to savour and see of your concealed face positioned above the reserved range of your quality camera. Or, the seamless lull within your effortlessly attractive voice reaching the depths of his attentive ears is beyond the dark haired boy’s enraptured attention, truly—because, hah. . . there’s something else, something else much more special eventually coming up, isn’t there?
Chipped nail upon his thumb being subconsciously chewed at in faux thought, that. . . you look stupidly good today (not that you usually don’t) with that casual wear— yes, even something apparently simple as some loose jeans, not all that much different from his own too, and an onyx black turtleneck compatibly added to the mix—looks pleasantly nice on you, enough so to hurriedly draw all breath from him.
Light conversation ensuing as if you aren’t thoroughly conscious of what the viewers unabashedly desire within this very moment. Him included, to be frank. “What have I planned for today? Well, now—you know, it won’t be any fun if I reveal it immediately, but you’re right, I do have something particularly special planned for today’s stream.” And he can tell, with how the influx of notes rapidly increase at the mere mention of a tell-tale surprise, no doubt brimming with utter curiosity and excitement at the sheer, mind numbing prospect of a carefully thought out present from you, that it indeed works. Sweetened chuckle naturally tumbling forth from your parted lips drawn up in a lighthearted smile in return. “Oh, you wanna know so bad? Fine, fine. Bunch of perverts already pressuring me right into it— haah, but I guess I’m no better for getting off of the attention like this either. . . Alright then, I’ll bite.”
Right, estimating the passing time he’s suggested it beforehand, it should’ve certainly arrived in the mail by now. Peering curiously towards the endlessly flowing stream of enthusiastic comments filling up the area at the bottom right of his dimly lit screen.
“Just so happens I’ve got a new one to test out here. Courtesy of a subscriber’s recommendation, y’know. See how much I actually listen to you guys? You degenerates should be grateful I’m even showing you anything, really— oh, c’mon. It was just a joke. Lighten up, will you?” Musing delightfully in response before promptly presenting a faintly rose coloured—oh, oh! it really is his that you chose!—pussy pocket into view, or generally known as a squishy flesh-light solely made to dutifully suck at awaiting eager cocks. Crimson flush coming forth to deeply stain his cheeks so, gasping momentarily to himself at the shocking outcome and maybe just, the idiotic yearning of intricately wanting to be that toy instead.
Ah— god, what he’d inevitably give to be the one you’re sensually sinking your flushed, oozing tip into, breathlessly groaning at the dizzying tightness swallowing your twitching length whole.
On one hand, he’s tried out quite a few, negligently forgotten in some stash hidden within his creaking closet, although ever since he’s been given a minor glimpse of your fat cock since day one—well, he’s come to long a certain. . . other type of treatment altogether. Notably, the disastrously sickening urge to be fucked full to the brim within an inch of his life, filthy masochist that he deceptively is, nothing could potentially compare to your pretty looking cock truthfully.
“Well, then,” Instinctually following forth with the passages of your hands—those too are pretty, actually. Like every inch of you isn’t, physically drooling at the slightest sliver of your exposed skin being gradually bared to his heated, emerald gaze. The edged curvature of your delicate knuckles down to where your slim fingertips connect to your leathered belt, smoothly unbuckling its constraints with a distinct jingle before it ultimately, drops downwards to the floor with a muted thud. His own loosened pants shortly accompanying your gestures soon after in a clumsy haste.
“Why don’t you sick fucks just sit back—“ A tug of your elastic boxers and he’s being suddenly greeted by the addictively sinful sight of it. Flushed cock weeping glistening beads of pre-cum, immediately springing forth from its confine to then, audibly smack against your bare tummy. “relax, and enjoy the show, yeah?”
Ahah, there it is—there’s your admittedly. . . tasty looking cock he’d waste no effort in slinking down to his knees to suckle upon, coat in slippery wet saliva and gratefully swallow down in nigh worship like a mutt starving for a treat. If you sensibly possessed any sort of idea, how well he’d treat you, the boy of his dreams. Hungrily lap the slicked surface of his warm, moist tongue along your balls heavy with seed in an intimate display of unending devotion—obsession, damnation to be gleefully chained and bound to your feet. Or so, he’s steadily scattering the remnants of his needy mind to those nonsensical blurry daydreams of his again.
Along with that artistic mark the loner meekly recognizes as a tattoo permanently etched into the tender flesh of your left hip, inked encryption slithering upwards, beyond the portion that your jeans can possibly conceal if shown on the spot.
“See this?— haah, fuck.” Hitched breath suddenly interrupted with a muted curse at how you merely hover the toy’s softened hole above the leaking tip of your heavy cock, wordlessly pulsing in the camera’s direction—his direction, to be more precise. Silently affirmed as nothing more but a wistful yearning on his part. “The way it just. . .” Oh, he’d so hopelessly, truly never tire to repeatedly listen upon your angelic voice again and again, how it subtly trembles and delves further into a series of rapidly made huffs along with a mix of heaving groans. Beautifully falls apart, tearfully breaks in an instant from the sweet suckle of the makeshift pussy heat steadily sucking in the veiny girth of your aching length. “. . .Effortlessly sucks me inside? So fuckin’—shit, tight. Like I’m fucking a real cunt actually.”
And yeah. . . Yeah, it really is—god, instinctively yearning for the insatiable need that those were his pouty lips instead, thoroughly enveloped around the sheer thickness of your perfect cock. Depthless, expanding pupils deliberately following the trailing path of pearly droplets profusely dribbling out messy pre-cum. Past the stuffed flesh-light’s warm folds—down the curved edge of your neatly swallowed cock to where it ultimately, descends and lands atop your balls with a startling drop.
Seemingly, the slight twitch in his pants at the dizzying demonstration is explanation enough on its own probably.
Quite pitifully so, it’s natural instinct, it’s all, he promises! Stealing a glance downwards to where his own excited cock stands upright and throbbing in the stretchy material of his chosen underwear for tonight’s occasion—one which he can easily slip off at a moments notice, impatiently strip down to his spread knees like an unashamed whore practically begging for it.
Guess it wouldn’t hurt to just. . . rub one out quickly, right? It’s what you’ve so generously taken the effort and time to do so, right?? So the freak—amongst many others delightfully viewing, how annoying—can disgustingly get themselves off to the addled sighs, sickeningly wet smacks! from the teasingly slow roll of your hips upwards, easily tumbling out from his monitors screens.
Timid palm tentatively reaching towards the overly evident, straining hard-on tented underneath the seams of his boxers, earnestly palming himself—or better put, the outlined length bulging through the fairly thin fabric—with a shaky gasp. So embarrassing, how minimal stimulation on his end renders him utterly breathless, silently stunned at the sheer amount of pre endlessly leaking out from his swollen, red hot slit. Inconveniently stains the greying colour in a deeper shade to mindlessly gawk at for future notice. Because currently, he’s unfairly too busy from solely grinding the heel of his softened palm against his cock’s dripping wet head, isn’t he?
Although, it’s not enough. Not enough, just yet—
Certainly, it wouldn’t truly be sinful to shyly go further, bring himself to the very brink of his teetering limit, huh? Fluttering lashes discreetly shutting close maybe due to the dizzyingly hot embarrassment accumulating within his tensed tummy. There, yes there; that’s the spot. . . Ah. Shuddering gasps uncontrollably spilling out of his beautifully open, wanton mouth shaped into a perfect ‘o’ at the clumsy passage of his inexperienced hand downwards, below. Hah—‘inexperienced’ , he sullenly thinks as if the dark haired boy doesn’t steadily fist his cock raw to the mere, increasingly blurring thought of you like a daily routine set into stone, never meant to be carelessly missed.
An unrestrained addict is what he fairly is, for all its worth. Amused grin simultaneously cracking upon his features at the unsurprising realization, insistently tugging at the corner of his now moist lips—disgustingly shiny in his own spit too, now—as scarred fingertips momentarily caress along the curved outline of his twitching cock before impatiently sliding off the sticky undergarment down the length of his perched legs.
Shit, shit. . . Chilly, cooling air mercilessly kissing at the warm, trickling tip of his flushed cock head now openly free from the boxers helplessly limiting bounds. Outwardly hissing at the sudden rush of temperature surrounding the surface of his readily exposed, quivering length. And here he is, already subconsciously humping, desperately bucking at the air—hips spontaneously settling into a rapid pace to fuck into his fist, but oh—your soft skin would be so much warmer to the bare touch, y’know?
Irrefutably better if it were your skillful hands indecently pumping his slippery cock, though you’d only need a single hand to do that, wouldn’t you? Ultimately bigger than his pitifully smaller ones in size, unable to fully wrap around the pulsing thickness of his cock unlike yours who’d effortlessly encompass him whole. Tease at the whorish slit ceaselessly dripping translucent, sloppy pre-cum with a press of your thumb atop the puckered opening all the while fisting himself.
Ah—ah, damn it. “Mmngh. . .”
Invasive, needy hands struggling to grasp for something—anything, will surely do to dull the burning, aching throb of velvety blood rushing south to his taut balls and unsurprisingly so, the pretty flush that comes to visibly stain the surface of his cheeks. Similar to a picture perfect portrait professionally painted by an eccentric artist, that is, if he had any semblance of self-esteem somehow hidden in there.
Predictably so, like some unjust pervert, the experimental tip of his jagged nails curiously grazes against the stretchy texture of his underwear now awkwardly slung down to the freak’s knees. Forgot those were still loosely hanging there, admittedly. Pearly, shiny patch of staining pre boldly glinting back towards his half-lidded gaze as if to elicit an enticing. . . no, the definitely worst idea he’s potentially had.
But, something to just get the ball rolling sometimes, you know? That’s all. Nothing more, nothing any further than his lone tendencies to uselessly clutch at something in a placid need for comfort—for it could be a worn pillow that’s unfortunately out of reach, sweaty used hoodie meant to wholly fill his scrunched nose with the strong lingering musk or even, his pre-cum stained boxers. However else that can be reasonably judged, as no normal person would be feebly bringing their underwear up to their heated face. Deeply inhaling his own stupidly salty scent, crudely burying the tip of his curved nose within fisted briefs restlessly held in the cup of his palm.
Shiiiiitt, it stinks like hell. So, shouldn’t be so devastatingly erotic and spur him on further—shouldn’t have his aching cock incessantly yearning for some form of release, albeit in a fucking pervasive manner.
“So perfect. . . hah, y-you’re so—pretty.” Incessantly drawling forth from his bitten lips, crimson stained flesh absently chewed upon as the searing metallic taste fills his every muddled senses. Like a fallen mantra that’s bound to greedily consume his very being—and frankly, he’d be nothing more than earnestly grateful if he was so selflessly granted the lucky chance to have his useless, good-for-nothing, pliable body thoroughly used and ruined by you. Ah, idly wondering in the discreet back of his mind, how you’d harshly fold his slim figure in half.
Would it be fast and rough, possibly? Indecently cruel in each of your instinctual thrusts, sudden snap of your hips to fuck him within an inch of his life? Or perhaps, no—undeniably the opposite, considering your usual style Kylar familiarly knows all too well. Slow, methodical and torturous marks progressively imprinted along the curved surface of his arched back. Smooth, chilly fingertips gliding downwards till he’s greeted with the slight grip of your locked palms upon his hips. A trembling plea here and there, only to be coldly met with a sneered chuckle at the pitiful sight—heated tip barely grazing against the puffy entrance of his puckered hole as you’d utter out a singular insult.
“You fucking pervert.”
In a mere instant, as it should come as no shocking surprise, surely—that single, fleeting thought precariously tips him towards the edge before the perverted freak’s has remotely registered the immediate slackening of his open jaw. Furrowing of his brows with a petulantly long whine as sickeningly thick, white strings of seed uncontrollably spurt forth from his swollen tip, splattering amongst the previously untainted surface of his keys, bare and unclenched tummy in the cooling air and of course, the monitored screen itself.
“H-hah—I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry. I’m nothing. . . but, a nasty p-pervert. . . ! Please—hngh, forgive me. . . !” Salaciously muttering to himself as though you’d possibly hear his ushered mewls for forgiveness, reassuringly cleanse him of his rushed and impulsive actions. Adoringly nosing along the creeping edge of his torn sleeve, pouty lips lewdly suckling upon its cotton material in an absent habit meant to momentarily soothe himself from the ongoing orgasm wracking throughout the entirety of his quivering, slackening figure—sluggishly resting atop the leathered, rolling chair.
Ah. . . Hah, doesn’t even register the all too heavy weight of his sleepy eyelids inevitably fluttering shut in a dazed slumber, head comfortably leaned back against the cushioned pillow. Carelessly forgetful of the accumulated, dripping mess now irritably found at his feet which he supposes, he’ll reluctantly clean later when he’s somehow received the faithful chance to.
Although, speaking of—isn’t he foolishly forgetting something residing in the shrouded depths of his mind. . . ? That can be, potentially dealt with. . . later, though. Maybe.
Didn’t even bother to aimlessly recall as to what it is regardless.
It wholly slipped from his drowsy mind, anyway.
— . . .
Alright, well—understandably enough, shouldn’t have tediously overslept past the overly distracting ringing of his stubborn alarm, but still. . . ! It’s not like it’s necessarily the loner’s fault for having this annoyingly irreparable tendency to listlessly pass out the second he’s satisfyingly gotten his fill. Probably, should get that checked out, however. Who effortlessly shifts to the realm of sparkling dream land after having hurriedly, finished in one fell swoop?? As in, helplessly shooting forth a fat load and considering it done and over with. Him, apparently.
‘Course, that reasonably draws its fair share of invasive consequences. Utterly lost in the bewilderment of his racing thoughts during his languid sprint towards class in the dead middle of the somewhat. . . spacious hallway, yet—not so much so that he isn’t incidentally slamming against a poor student in a troublesome haste, unintentionally tripping himself over his own loose, untied shoelaces. Oh, can’t be any more blind, can you??
Having fully expected to have painfully hit the dull, heartless ground by now—but, but. . . unfamiliar softness tentatively tugs at his blurry senses instead, confusingly warm firmness of someone else’s secure arms embracing the dark haired boy’s lanky figure in return. “Ugh, fuck—“
“. . .Sorry, are you alright? I didn’t mean to bump into you there. I should look where I’m going next time—stupid of me, really. You’re not hurt or anything, right?” Despite being sorrowfully accustomed to the normally discriminating tone most students expectantly would’ve adopted at the mere sight of him, nothing particularly prepared Kylar for that vaguely recognizable, dulcet voice faintly ringing within his stinging ears as he, so dumbly, peers from below the mopped mess of his unruly tufts of hair. One day, he’s got to take care of that nasty habit of his to be neglecting his unfairly important needs.
Strikingly stiff as a stoned, wobbling statue at the nearest temple from the intimately tender worry currently occupying your gaze—ah, what is he specifically meant to respond with in such an uncouth situation again?? Somehow missing the loosely held grasp your smooth palms have atop his hunched shoulders because, oh, he’s never been willingly touched before either—has he?
“Um, y-yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” My god, haven’t you received nothing but excellent marks in English, idiot?? Further elaborate on that meaninglessly empty statement! Inwardly cringing at the slight squeak unjustly found amidst his slurred speech and albeit, apologetic struggle not to seemingly appear like some ditzy moron right now instead of y’know—excessively nodding along to the point that, you’re questioningly tilting your head to the side.
“That’s good to know. Make sure not to run like that in the hallways again yourself, next time. Could’ve ended worse and I wouldn’t want someone getting hurt on my behalf, would I?” Momentarily stunned by that sugary sweet smile and maybe, the all too good-natured pat naturally placed upon his left shoulder that his heated breath is promptly caught in his bobbing throat.
He meant to reply back, truthfully desired nothing more than to sheepishly inquire further for. . . what? Nothing, perhaps. Anything to have your presence possibly linger longer next to his, but before he’s consciously notices—your retreating silhouette is already swiftly stepping past his dumbfounded, stranded self. Stifled curses accompanied by faintly echoing footsteps thudding against the now desolate, school hallway.
“Goddammit, where’s that blonde bastard—told me to wait for him and he doesn’t even fucking show up. Is he still pissed at me for yesterday’s shit?? I swear I should. . .”
Ah.
And, he didn’t even get to catch your name.
Guess he’ll find out through his own personal means. Stealing a rushed glimpse towards the headmaster’s shut door where they privately keep any student’s confidential files—that is, including properly listed grades too, which he’s gotten no interest for, to begin with.
Name.
Your name.
Well, he’ll find out one way or another because he always possesses a way to, doesn’t he?
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kamitv · 3 months ago
Text
▷ First Time?
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Synopsis . When you get paired with the campus asshole, Sukuna, for a project, the last thing you expect to learn about him is that he’s a damn virgin. Nor did you expect to be the one to change that. / Pairing . virgin!Sukuna x fem!reader / Content . afab!reader, oral sex (m!receiving), premature ejac, non-curse college au, dirty talk, pet names, degrading, porn w plot, teasing, taunting, filth, etc. / wc . 6k
A/N: ty to the nonnie on my main who asked if I’d ever write virgin!jjk men :3 [MDNI]
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Who would’ve thought?
Of all people, Sukuna, a virgin? It just didn’t make sense.
He was this stand-offish asshole who most people respected out of pure fear. He didn’t exactly do parties and yet you could always find him at one. He’d always have some chick on his arm or even in his lap so, in what world would anyone with a brain assume he’s actually never been inside a woman before?
And to make his lack of game all the more unbelievable, he’s even rumored to have a big dick— it’s like some overly well-known campus fact about the guy.
So, again, what reason would anyone have to think the guy was a virgin?
Certainly not you, of course. And you don’t expect to be the only person to find out such information either.
The way you find out is probably even more bizarre than the fact itself. You and him had little to no reason to ever interact with each other. You weren’t some shy nerd who holed herself up in her room all day or anything but you weren’t much of the party type other.
You were stuck somewhere in the middle of all that, vicariously living through some of your friends who had better things going for them.
As such, there was no real reason for you and Sukuna to cross paths. He never even had a reason to acknowledge your existence until the two of you are paired up together for a project in the one class you happen to take together.
——
The background noise is the chatter of your fellow classmates and their own project partners, you find your partner grumbling out a low, “What?” In response to your last statement, having hardly heard a thing you said.
“I said,” You huff, sitting beside the man in question as today marks week two of you being paired up with him for this semester’s project, “We should be meeting up outside of class too. We could get his knocked out in like a day if you just-“
“Oh that,” Sukuna cuts off casually. Seated all slouched back in his seat, his legs sprawled out in that signature manspread of his— he rolls his eyes at your little reminder, “You said somethin’ about that last week.”
You speak through slightly gritted teeth, fighting the headache he’s about to give you from this conversation alone, “All the more reason for you to take it into consideration. The faster we get this done, the less we have to deal with each other.”
As you say that, you glance at him only to find his eyes directly on yours already. He’s got such lazy posture, his head tilted slightly whilst he gazes at you so intently, and his big muscular arms folded across his chest. Even wearing a black hoodie and gray sweats, he still looks as attractive as ever— mean low-lidded crimson eyes locked on yours, tattooed face so beautifully defined, and rosy lips pulled into such an uninterested little frown.
Up until your words hit his ears properly, “The less we have to deal with each other, huh?” Sukuna repeats, narrowing his eyes even further at you, “You barely even know me ‘nd yet you want nothing to do with me already.”
“I know enough about you, Sukuna,” You say with a sigh, “And you hardly contribute to this project as is. Which only proves that everything they say about you is probably true.”
He arches a brow, his interest piquing, “And what exactly do people say about me?”
You let off a light scoff, “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t know,” Sukuna tells you honestly, maroon eyes boring into yours.
You stare for a moment as you try to decipher whether or not he’s being honest right now. How does he not know what people say about him? Everyone talks about his brooding personality very openly.
“They say you’re an ass,” You eventually say to the man.
To which his lips twitch into a slight smirk, “And you believe that?”
“Seeing as I’ve asked you to, at the very least, type your name on this document and you haven’t even done that yet,” You scoff, “Yes.”
The two of you mildly glare at one another for a moment before Sukuna leans up in his seat. Breaking eye contact for just a moment to look at his laptop, he swiftly moves to open up that shared document of yours and types his name out with a heavy sigh.
After which, he’s slouching back again and looking at you, “Don’t believe everything people tell you, woman.”
You roll your eyes at him, “What? Are you not fond of rumors? That still doesn’t negate the fact that you’re an assho-“
“When do you want to meet up?” Sukuna grumbles out almost reluctantly, watching the way you pause and swallow thickly as he catches you off-guard.
He’s almost even intrigued by how quickly you bounce back, despite being caught by surprise, “Friday. Are you free?”
“Unfortunately,” He grumps.
You give him a little shrug, “Good. I’ll see you then.”
And that was it. That was how each and every interaction with you and Sukuna went. Bickering back and forth about him not doing shit to help you with something that’ll affect your grade majorly, criticizing you about being too focused and needing to relax every now and then, and even calling you a stuck-up little brat one time— it was safe to say, you and Sukuna didn’t get along too well.
Not that you minded anyway. He wasn’t your first partner to care little about their grade so, you knew how to deal with these kinds of people by now. Typically, you indulge yourself in their craving to ‘relax’ just once and then they promise to start helping. You’ve gone down that path before and it’s worked for you then so you assume things will go the same way with Sukuna.
Plus, you guess you can give him a slight pass for his asshole attitude, at least he has a pretty face to look at. Dark ink always decorating his awfully smooth skin, deep dark yet beautiful ruby-shaded eyes boring into whatever it is his focus on, and broad shoulders looming over your smaller figure every time he stands in front of you— you can't help but feel both attracted and intimidated by the man.
——
Which is exactly why when you open your apartment door for the scheduled meetup that Friday to crane your head up at him, you’re swallowing thickly to settle your nerves. You’ve never been alone with the man so of course you’re a bit nervous.
Especially with the way he gazes down at you like that’s exactly where you belong: beneath him. His eyes are filled to the brim with intensity and yet he’s only just set them on you. Wearing a noticeable black compression shirt and those signature gray sweets of his, he almost appears as though he’d just come from the gym.
And just as you take in his appearance, he very openly takes in yours— his eyes raking over your body and taking in every single inch of you. After all, just as it was your first time alone with him, it was his first time seeing you dress so comfortably. He doesn’t even try to hide the way he stares at your tits peeking out from the rather thin spaghetti-strap top you were wearing, his eyes soon trailing down slowly to those tauntingly short shorts you had on.
“So,” Sukuna swipes his tongue over his lips and cocks his head to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyes yet to lift from your legs, “Are you gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna let me in?”
You blink out of whatever little daze you were in, having found yourself gazing at his chest far longer than you meant to. It was right in front of your face after all, how could you look anywhere else? And his shirt was so damn tight, the fabric hugging his well-toned body perfectly, so much so that you swore you could make out piercings on his-
Sukuna leans forward suddenly, his face nearing yours to gain your full attention, “If you keep staring at me like that, I’m gonna assume you invited me over for something else-“
“Sorry,” You chirp out as you clear your throat and awkwardly step back a bit to let him in, “You can come in.”
Nodding, Sukuna slips by you and you shut your apartment door behind him. Then, you’re quick to lead him over to your living room where you’d previously been working on your project.
The two of you are hasty to take a seat on your couch, both of you only a few inches apart from one another whilst you lean toward your coffee table and log into your already open laptop. Sukuna’s eyes are all over you as always, studying your side profile, your intent focus on the screen in front of you, and even the way you-
“Did you even bring anything?” You suddenly ask before you glance at the man.
Sukuna quickly meets your gaze, ripping his eyes off of wherever they’d been previously, “Was I supposed to?”
“Sukuna,” You sigh out, “Please tell me you’re joking right now.”
He swallows at the mere sound of his name rolling off your tongue in that scolding tone of yours— he’s heard such a tone from you time and time again and yet, for whatever reason, it never seems to annoy him. 
“I’m not.” He says plainly.
“How are we supposed to work on this if you-,” You cut yourself off and decide not to even attempt arguing with him. Arguing won’t change the fact that he showed up with nothing. “Just uhm,” You glance elsewhere for a second before an idea comes to mind and you place your laptop down and stand up, “Stay here.”
Sukuna doesn’t say anything. He merely watches as you huff and walk off, swiftly exiting the living room and disappearing down a nearby hall. He swears he finds himself looking at you a bit more than intended. Especially as you walked off, his eyes dropping to your ass and those damn shorts of yours.
Even when you’re out of his sight, he still finds himself staring in the direction of which you went, almost unable to look away for whatever strange reason.
That lasts for a few minutes until he snaps out of it and leans back against the couch, tossing his head back and letting out a long sigh. You soon return to find him with an arm stretched along the back of the couch, his legs spread as usual, and his eyes up on the ceiling.
He doesn’t even notice you’ve returned until he feels something placed in his lap. Looking down, Sukuna finds your laptop kindly set on top of him. To which his brows furrowed in confusion and he looked at you to see you sitting on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table with a paper and pencil in front of you.
“What’s this?” Sukuna scoffs.
You don’t even spare him a glance as you begin writing something down, “How we’ll get things done.” He opens his mouth to say something but then you’re looking back at him with a glare, “I already organized the parts of this project that you have to do so, since it’s on my computer, you can work on that and I’ll work with what I remember.”
You wholeheartedly expected him to find something about this to disagree with you on but, to your surprise, he simply nods and redirects his focus to your laptop immediately.
And then, the two of you work exactly like that for the remainder of that little study session.
——
Sukuna’s not terrible to work with when it’s just you and him. If anything, he’s rather cooperative and a lot smarter than he leads on. 
Which is why a solid two hours of productivity flies by surprisingly smoothly with him. If you asked him a question, he answered. Told him to do something, he’d say something snarky, and then do whatever it is you’ve instructed anyway.
It all went so perfectly up until he let out a really heavy sigh, “Alright, I’ve had enough for this.” Sukuna says casually.
He’s been repeating a similar phrase every thirty minutes or so but he usually gets right back to work after getting ignored by you. This time though, you get the feeling he’s serious when he pushes your laptop off of his lap and places it forward on the coffee table.
It’s then that you frown, “Oh c’mon, we were getting so much done,” You comment as you glance back to him.
He shrugs, “I can’t keep looking at that damn screen, it’s giving me a headache.”
“Of course it is,” You utter sarcastically, rolling your eyes whilst you place your pencil down and throw your arms up to stretch, “Fine then, we can take a break.”
Sukuna’s brows lift in surprise. He didn’t expect you to listen to him, “Good.” He hums, “I was getting bored as well.”
You scoff, “Were you?”
“Yeah, can we do something else?” He asks.
Turning around, you rotate the way you’re sitting so that you’re facing him and your back is resting against your coffee table. “Like what?” You muse, meeting his low-lidded gaze.
“Talk,” Sukuna says.
That’s it? He wanted a break to talk to you? Your eyes are narrowing at him before you even realize, “Talk?” You repeat with a scoff, “Seriously?”
He nods, “Mhm.”
“What do you wanna talk about, Sukuna?” As you ask him that, you watch the way his eyes casually slide down to your lips.
Does he mean to be this indiscreet with his looks? Or is he eyeing you down like that on purpose?
The man shrugs, “Anything outside of fuckin’ school.”
You laugh at that, “Okay, I can work with that.”
He tilts his head at you and licks his lips, “Yeah?” Something about your little laugh threw him off. 
“Mhm,” You hum as you look down at your hand, fiddling with your nails a bit, “The rumors… are they true?”
Thrown off yet again, Sukuna’s brows pinch together. “Rumors?” He echoes in a genuinely confused tone, “What rumors, woman?”
The sound of your scoff makes him stiffen in his seat. Almost in an instant, the atmosphere had changed suddenly. “C’mon, don’t play dumb,” You tease, lifting your gaze to him again, “The rumors about you.”
He gives you a perplexed look and it’s almost as though you could see the gears in his head turning. “If you know something, say it.” He demands.
You sigh, “Sukuna, do you seriously hear nothing people say about you?”
Sukuna shrugs, “I don’t care enough to remember. So what is it? What rumor?”
You’re just curious. You swear that’s all it was. And, naturally, since he seemed to have warmed up to you— of course you wanted to know if that rumor about his dick was true. You’re both adults and it’s just a silly question. Plus, with the way he’s been looking at you all afternoon, you’re sure he won’t mind answering you with a simple yes or no.
Glancing to the side, your shoulders lift a bit, “It’s uh, rather intimate.” You hush out.
Sukuna narrows his eyes at you, “Intimate?? An intimate rumor about me?”
His emphasis on himself makes your eyes flick back over to him. “Yeah, are you sure you don’t know what they say about you??” You ask again.
“Positive. Now speak, what is it they say?” Sukuna huffs impatiently, even more curious about this little rumor after the mention of it being intimate. After all, he’s never-
“People say you have a big dick,” You utter way too casually.
So nonchalantly that it makes him choke, a choke you don’t mess with the way he clears his throat and sits up a little. “What?” He rasps out.
You bat those stupidly false innocent eyes at him, “I didn’t stutter,” Your tone dips into something different and he catches every bit of it, “People say you have a big dick, is it true?”
Sukuna clears his throat and for the first time, he glances away from you. Then, he opens and closes his mouth, contemplating his next words carefully before they soon fall from his lips, “You wanna find out?”
His offer spurs a shift in your seat from you as you scoot closer to him ever so slightly, “You wanna show me?” You ask boldly, your tone direct, and not even a flicker of hesitation present.
“Do I want to-,” Sukuna pauses, his eyes scanning the entirety of your seated frame as you inch closer to him, “What?” He huffs, swallowing thickly.
You move to stand on your knees and lean forward to the couch, soon propping your chin up on your palm as you look at him, “Show me,” You chuckle, “I asked if you wanted to show me, Sukuna.”
He blinks, “Show you my cock?”
You shrug, “Yeah.”
The air is so thick right now, Sukuna’s not sure how exactly he can play this off without making a fool of himself. He gulps yet again, only to watch as your eyes start to drop down along his body.
“Stop,” He rushes out, “Keep your eyes up here. On mine,” He commands in a low tone, earning your gaze once more.
And then it’s quiet for a moment. He’s staring at you and you’re obediently keeping your eyes up on his. Sukuna hates it but he doesn’t know what to say or do from here. The last thing he wanted was for you to find out his little secret. 
It’s like he was waiting for a fucking pin to drop, something to break the silence. Yet, his mind was going blank and words were failing him at the moment. He’s flirted with women before, plenty of times actually, effortlessly even— but for whatever reason, as you sit there with those stupidly pretty eyes staring at him, his mind simply flakes on him.
He’s like that for a minute longer until you move. So subtly too, sliding a hand to his thigh, leaning forward slightly, batting your lashes at him, “Sukuna?” You whisper.
His hips are rolling upward slightly at the sound of his name alone. “W-What?” He stammers, mentally cursing himself a thousand times over.
“If you don’t wanna show me you can jus’ say no,” You hum, smiling a bit, “Y’know that, right?”
He scoffs, “Of course I know that, woman.”
“If you know that then…” Your fingers lightly squeeze his thigh and you tilt your head, “Are you gonna tell me or show me whether or not those rumors are true?”
Something simply clicks inside Sukuna’s head. Rose-tinted lips cracking into a smirk, the man spreads his legs further and slouches back into the couch, “Find out for yourself since you’re so curious.”
Your eyes go wide, “What?”
Sukuna scoffs lightly, moving one of his arms from the back of the couch and placing his hand over his crotch. Of course, your gaze sinks down to his veiny hand, watching as he palms a stupidly large bulge in his sweats.
Your breath hitches a bit, “I-I-“
You don’t even get the chance to get it out before he’s cutting you off, “C’mere,” Sukuna hums in that low voice of his.
“What?” You whisper.
You and him make eye contact again and he nods his chin toward the space in between his legs. Nothing can really explain why you follow his gesture and quickly find yourself sitting in between his legs, taking a deep breath as you settle your hands on his thighs.
Sliding your touch up and up and up until your fingers graze his hand. The same hand that was resting on top of that aching bulge of his.
Sukuna slowly lifts his hand up and away, relaxing his arm on the back of the couch again as he stares down at you. Cocking his head to the side, “Well? Feel it.” He huffs.
You don’t even hesitate. Trailing your fingers upward carefully until you feel the outline of his cock beneath your fingertips, gulping as you drag your hand up to cup his length in your hand firmly, and smirking at the way his cock twitches furiously beneath your small touch.
Sukuna’s mouth falls open for a second but you’re too engrossed in feeling him to notice. He lets out a shuddered breath as he watches the way you grope his steadily growing erection. His head even tosses back and his fingers dig into the couch for a moment.
“It is big,” You whisper to yourself, your words only making him twitch more within your hand.
“Fuck,” Sukuna grits out lowly, hips unconsciously lifting to press himself further against you.
His curse earns your attention. You quickly glance up to him and see the way he’s got his head tossed back, Adam's apple bobbing with every heavy gulp he takes, and his chest rising and falling rather quickly.
You lift your hand carefully and decide to test something out. Slowly, you lean forward and just barely press your lips against his clothed cock.
Sukuna’s whole body reacts. He gasps louder than he means to and he’s weaving his fingers through your hair faster than he realizes, palming your scalp as he quickly looks down at you. “T-The fuck are you doing? Huh?” He huffs while gripping onto your hair.
You lift your head a bit but he keeps you in place, despite his question to you. “I just…” You’re not exactly sure you can explain yourself.
And by this point, Sukuna doesn’t think he cares enough to hear an excuse from you, “…You what? You wanna see it?”
All you can do is give him a little nod before he moves his free hand to the drawstring of his sweatpants. Then you're quick to help him tug them down until his boxers are revealed to you— a noticeable dampness in the fabric right where his leaking tip is. Was that because of you?
Before you can dawn on your own questions, Sukuna’s moving to tug his cock out. And fuck is he even bigger revealed before your eyes. With an upward curve, such an angry flushed tip, precum dripping from the slit of his fat cockhead, veins decorating his shaft and-
Shit, you were drooling. How’d you get like this again?? Ah, who cares?
“Sukuna,” You breathe out, ripping your eyes away from his cock just to look up at him.
He was almost panting, dark maroon eyes pouring down into yours, face flushed with different shades of red and pink, his lips parted softly— hell, he looked like he was in heat or something.
Gulping before he answers you, Sukuna clears his throat and his voice is already husky, “What?”
You shift against the floor, your hands relaxing against his large thighs, “Can I-“
“Yeah,” He cuts off. Lord knows if you got that question out he was going to lose his damn mind.
You raise a brow and lean forward, keeping your eyes on his while your lips near his tip, “Yeah?”
The last thing you get from him is a nod before you’re parting your lips. And from that moment forward, it all goes downhill. Everything from the way you’re sitting in between his legs to that initial connection of your plush lips against his drooling cock had Sukuna’s mind spinning.
He’s never been sucked off before. Hell, the farthest he’s gone as far as sexual activities are concerned is a little bit of dry humping. But this? Oh hell, this was his first time and he had zero idea how he was going to keep that information away from you.
Especially when he feels your tongue slip from between your lips and swirl around the head of his cock, kittenly lapping up that slim layer of precum sitting so prettily on his tip. 
“Oh f-fuuck,” Sukuna groans huskily, the hand on your head gripping tighter.
You pull away from him slightly just to take in his expression and the way he tosses his head back. It was almost cute to you. The last thing you expected was for him to be so damn sensitive, you hardly did anything.
His sensitivity only worsens as you finally start wrapping your lips around his cock, feeling him throb when you sink your mouth down on him. Sukuna’s jaw goes slack and his brows twist up. He tries his best to hold it in but he can’t help but moan at the way you leisurely suck on half of his lengthy cock.
Your saliva wets up the rest of his shaft and you make up for what your mouth hasn’t reached yet with your hand, stroking him lightly whilst you take the rest of his girth in and out of your mouth. Rolling your tongue around him, pulling off just to messily spit and kiss on his blushing tip, and slobbering all over him— Sukuna almost fucking kicked something with how good your mouth felt around him.
He’s used his hand and other shit before but holy fuck, nothing, and he means nothing compares to that damn mouth of yours. The way you look with his cock stuffed right in between those lips he’s been staring at for God knows how long— your lips all slick with spit, eyes rolling back the deeper you take him, and tongue sticking out every time you pull your mouth off of him.
You soon slip your mouth off of him and start jerking him off, focusing your tongue on his tip and slithering the wet muscle in between the slit of his cock, lathering your tongue up with his glistening precum. 
The sound of Sukuna groaning makes you look up at him, finding his eyes on yours again. He’s panting, trying his best to look like this wasn’t phasing him but failing in every way with how flushed his face was. 
Your tongue sticks out and your hand continues to slide up and down his cock as you tap his tip on your tongue, making his brows twist up. 
He bites back a throaty sound, “Hah… damn brat,” Sukuna huffs out as if to… degrade you? 
You almost find it cute how clearly inexperienced he is, spitting a fat wad of spit onto his pretty wet tip and then smiling at him, “Sukuna,” You coo, your hand gripping his shaft tighter, “Is this your first time?”
He instantly looks off to the side, the veins in his neck and along his jawline tensing as he grits his teeth. Since he decides to ignore your little question, you take it a step further and slide your hand down his cock, gripping his thick base firmly before taking him into your heavenly warm mouth again.
His expression breaks completely, “Oh shit,” Sukuna moans, his hips bucking up into your mouth as you slide him deeper into your mouth than you did before.
Then his hand is pushing your head down further on instinct and he’s subtly rutting his hips up. You lift your head up despite his constant pushing, soon causing your head to bob up and down whilst you suck him off skillfully.
“Jus’ like that,” Sukuna suddenly groans and you moan around his cock in reaction. To which he keeps giving your mouth mindless little thrusts, “Don’t s-, agh, stop.”
Sucking him deeper and deeper before you move your hand completely, you suck in a deep breath of air through your nose, open up the very back of your throat, and sink all the way down, your lips meeting his pelvis as your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Sukuna kicks something. Probably your coffee table with the way one of his legs extends out so suddenly, a choked-out groan ripped from his throat as your little move was all it took for him to cum. And it’s so much too, hot thick ropes of cum spurting down your throat, his hand holding onto your head for dear life whilst a moan of your name rolls off his tongue.
You’re still sucking too, pulling up only to swallow what he’s gifted you and then stick your tongue out. Laying it flat against his tip, you leisurely lick at him as if to beg for more and now the man’s pushing your head away for the first time.
When you lift your eyes up to him again, you notice he’s got his tattooed arm over his mouth and his lashes are batting softly at you. For such a big man, he was so ridiculously cute right now. Panting, sweating, cursing under his breath as if you couldn’t hear him.
“Yeah,” Sukuna utters suddenly, clearing his throat, “That was… my first… time. I uh-“
“Do you want more?” Is the last thing you asked him before you were sitting back on your heels and he was stumbling to his feet.
You had to guide him through it of course but, Sukuna doesn’t hesitate to stuff your face full of his cock again. You take him so kindly too, obediently sitting there with your hands gripping his thighs for support with every careful thrust of his hips.
He was trying to be gentle with you at first. Partially because he didn’t know what the hell he was doing, and also because he just loved the initial entry into your mouth. Over and over, Sukuna slid his dick in and out of your mouth like he was possessed, addicted to the feeling of you greedily sucking on him.
He was still sensitive from his first orgasm but his cock had yet to go down— twitching inside that sloppy mouth of yours, aching against your tongue, and dripping into the depths of your throat. Sukuna wasn’t much of a talker but he damn sure let out a plethora of grunts and groans.
They were so husk too, coming from deep within his chest, some getting caught in his throat when he felt your tongue flick against a specific vein on the underside of his cock. His fat tip knocked into the back of your throat with a single heavy thrust before his hands were latching onto the sides of your head.
Again, he’s not much of a talker but, something seems to come over him all at once because soon he’s got his gaze locked down on the messy sight of you and he’s huffing out words before he realizes. “Eyes up here, c’mon, hah… look at me,” Sukuna grunts.
Your eyes are completely glossed over as they flutter up to him. A moan vibrates against his skin as you make such intimate eye contact with the man, feeling his hips pick up.
Sukuna nods, “Good girl,” He praises in a low purr, and fuck does that do wonders for you because your legs are squeezing together more than they were before and you’re whining against him. “Fuck, y’like that?” He huffs, earning a sloppy lil’ nod from you.
He then feels you hum, “M-Mhm.” And he’s got chills slipping up his spine in pleasure.
Cracking a lazy, lopsided, and almost fucked-out little smirk, Sukuna scoffs, “Yeah? Fuck, behind all those g-glares ‘nd-, agh, scolding me… this is all you wanted, hm? A throat full of cock?”
His words had you whining again, fluttering your lashes at him as your fingertips dug into his thighs a little. Sukuna eases his hips back slowly, tipping his head to the side as he gently caresses the side of your face with his thumb.
“Messy girl,” He hums deeply, biting his lower lip at the way you’re just drooling for more and more as he pulls himself out of your mouth completely. “Jus’ look at this face,” Sukuna chuckles, “Y’look like a slut cryin’ like that— it’s cute.”
Blinking, you hadn’t even realized you had a tear or two sliding down your face. Your mouth remains open for a second before he moves to rub his tip against your plump lips, smearing your spit and his cum all over the damn place with a little grin on his face.
“‘Kuna…” You whisper, earning a quirk of his brow, “I can’t believe you’re a virg-“
“Don’t finish that sentence,” He grunts, moving a thumb to your chin to widen how open your mouth is for him, “Jus’… keep sittin’ there lookin’ pretty f’me,” Sukuna says.
You roll your eyes at him and all he can do is smile, pushing his hips forward again and easing his cock in between your lips. He slides in slowly until you can feel him pressing right against the back of your throat. To which he keeps himself there for a second, testing that gag reflex of yours and watching your eyes water.
Moving his hand back to the top of your head, he buries his fingers in your hair, “So fuckin’ sexy like this,” Sukuna compliments, feeling you moan in response, “M’gonna cum again, stay j-just like that,” He breathes out heavily, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull before he’s throwing his head back.
And as if to coax his orgasm out, you carefully move a hand to cup his balls, sucking on his cock as best as you can and earning an accidental sound from his throat. The second your palm is felt against him, the moment he feels your tongue slicking against him, Sukuna whines.
Then his thighs are tensing and he’s groaning loudly as if to cover up the sound that just left his lips, filling your throat with his seed and then tugging your mouth off of him with a quick pull of your head. You’re quick to swallow for yet a second time, letting out a needed cough after the fact while he stumbles back just a bit, his calves hitting the couch.
“Vixen,” Sukuna growls.
You clear your throat and send a smile his way, “Not my fault you cum easy.”
Sukuna’s slow to sit back down on the couch to catch his breath, “Tell anyone about this ‘nd I’ll-“
“Oh,” You suddenly purr, cutting him off as you lift yourself up from the ground. He watches with slightly widened eyes as you move to straddle him, “Don’t tell me you thought we were done?”
He’s at a loss for words all over again, his confidence suddenly getting caught in his throat and flying out the window. Your hands slip to his broad shoulders and you lean forward a little.
Sukuna’s hands shakily find their way to your waist as he stares up at you, “You want more?”
You smirk, tilting your head at the dumbfounded male, “Don’t you?” You ask in a sultry little whisper, making his sensitive cock twitch once more. “At the very least…” Your lips slowly near his and he’s losing his breath, “Taste yourself, Sukuna.”
And then your lips are on his and he’s taking your tongue into his mouth. His grip on your waist tightens before he pulls you flush against him, feeling your crotch press right against his cock that’s steadily twitching back to life.
The two of you share a heated and messy kiss, your hips carefully swaying against him to encourage his returning arousal. You can’t really use curiosity as an excuse anymore, can you?
Well, you can. And you do with the way your hands slide down to his chest, your fingers slipping over his nipples to find exactly what you’d been curious about. You flick your fingers over his piercing there and Sukuna lets out a low hiss, prying his lips from yours and sending you a glare.
Not only did that little move of yours make his cock spring up completely but, you also notice the frown on his face.
Smiling at him, “Sukuna…”
“Don’t.” He huffs.
“You have nipple piercings?” You end up asking anyway in a happy little tone.
He grits his teeth slightly, “…Obviously.”
Chuckling, you press a soft peck against his lips and whisper, “Can I see them?”
“No.” He replies.
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Part two.
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asexual-levia-tan · 1 year ago
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apparently there's a theory among the fandom that the MoM is light. which is pretty cool considering that's been my thought since he mentioned to babynort that he never takes his coat off because he's too scared (said in a joking way, but was it a joke?)
my thought was that he wasn't always a being of pure light, but that he shed his form after his friends fell to darkness during the first(?) conflict with darkness. the darkness also used to "look like us" until it realized it was more powerful without a form, so maybe he took a page out of its book and went formless
the problem with this theory is that according to him, he and his 6 apprentices are to be vessels to hold the darkness. which i would imagine would be difficult to do if you were 1) a being of pure light or 2) dont actually have a body to contain it in
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vhaos-chaotic-writing · 2 months ago
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ahhhh hi!! If your requests are still open, could I please have Yandere hcs of transformers prime Optimus and Megatron(separate) with a gn reader? If you want you can also add in a random character for Yandere hcs as well! Thank you for your time have a good one!
(Turns around the with the most evil smile of them all) Now we getting freaky!! (•ˋ w ˊ•) Hue-hue-hue !
Yandere!Optimus Prime & Yandere!Megatron (TFP) Headcanons!
WARNING: Yandere behaviour, stalking, typical violence from the series and a little bit more, kidnapping, a lil mention of body horror (not sure if it counts). Reader is Gender Neutral.
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OPTIMUS PRIME
I will classify Optimus as a Protective, soft worshipper yandere that has a little hint of uncanny valley (I'll talk about this in a moment).
Optimus' life is sadly surrounded with tragedy as he tries to keep a hopeful light on top of his helm for the sake of not giving up and letting down the Autobots.
We now how Optimus is always mourning and yet keeping his helm up, being strong for the others, being idolized by others and having the fate of "the chosen one" written all over him when... he never asked for it.
And he is tired. It's like he is always walking in the middle of the darkness with not a single path to take - lost, feeling like he is losing himself piece by piece... until You arrived.
As a beacon of light.
He has lost too many loved ones - friends, teammates... but deep down, silently, always thanked Primus to have taken anyone else and not You.
I think Optimus' yandere personality would be like Akemi Homura's love for Kaname Madoka - everytime he sees you, he sees nothing but light. Hope. Perfection. Your existence brings nothing but pure happiness and warmth.
The yandere to always kneel in front of you and hold your hands, thanking you for existing and deem him worthy enough of having your presence near him.
If you are a cybertronian, he would pray to Primus for the day to come he finally confesses his love for you, and you share said feelings too and become his Conjux Endura, in this life and the next one.
If you are a human, he would feel this burning need to become your guardian, your protector. His little safe space from the war and battles, always asking you things about your world and about you, promising you with every breath he takes he is going to keep you safe.
Either as a cybertronian or human, he is not letting you anywhere close to battles. He can't lose you. He won't lose you.
Remember the Uncanny valley thing I said? I see Optimus as this kind of yandere that forgets that he is existing in the same place as you - and stares. Just... stares.
The only thing that is giving out he is still living is how his optics move little by little, remembering everything about you again and again, his systems replaying his promises to you and why he keeps fighting, why he is willing to sacrifice the others and himself - to protect you.
Imagine the Yuri stare moment from Doki Doki Literature Club. Yeah, that is the Uncanny Valley I'm talking about.
Following you, stalking you - and you don't actually see him at first (How when he is just the size of a giant?). You move, you go from place to place, room to room. Until you finally find him, peaking from somewhere. Staring at you as you are swallowed by the shadow he casts upon you.
"My spark... my deity. My one and only." He whispers as he gently snuzzles his helm against your helm/torso as he holds you closely to him.
MEGATRON
Megatron gives me the vibes to be a yandere that changes from a type to another.
Definitely an aggressive yandere, but transitions from sadistic-possessive to delusional-paranoiac with the past of times and the events you live with him.
Megatron can see as much as he wants that he only wants a 'strong significant other' by his side and that he 'will not stick to a weak individual' - if he falls and falls hard it is done for him.
You are going to be in this situation of being seen as an equal but also as a pet or possession he owns in his optics.
Definitely kidnaps you - no matter if you are a human or cybertronian, either part of the Autobots, neutral or a Decepticon.
Is not afraid to threaten you or even hurt you (but not that much, he wants you still alive, after all - he can't love you if you are no longer breathing).
Actively reminds you he owns you.
"You are MINE. I will tear any bot's throat if they ever think they can take you from me - so you better think carefuly the moment you open your mouth, dear. Unless you want to see energon or blood all over the place."
The transition I told you about would happen only if your life is put in danger and actually get too close to die.
Imagine if you are hurt, bleeding and bruised but still breathing, totally gonna survive and live another day. Megatron is not a mech to feel fear. But Primus - he felt a dread and despair as he kept processing what happened, hugging you against his chestplate as his system spirals deeper and deeper, his need to possess you becoming paranoia.
If you are a cybertronian, Megatron is going to start having ideas about... merging his spark with yours - but in a sense fusing, becoming literally one - you'll be his spark as he becomes your body.
"You'll become the energon running inside of my system, my software and system, the spark - that way, no one will take you away from me."
If you are a human, will get Soundwave, Knockout and Shockwave to work on a project - to build you a cybertronian body and fuse you with it, defying the laws of your lifespan and finally making you one of his kind.
"There you are... stop crying, my dear. You are perfect now - and as long as I live, you will live. My conjux endura."
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My baby brain hurts, had a headache for like 3 hours. (っ´Ι`)っ Vhaos out!
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ravenrothstr · 19 days ago
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Me and You, and The Spaces In Between
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summary. Y/N takes a long vacation after a heated argument with her boss. With her career hanging by a thread, she escapes to a peaceful getaway, where she unexpectedly meets Jaehyun, unaware of his identity.
genre. idol! au. work! au. fluff
words count. 18.0k
disclaimer. the story is fully fictional. other names mentioned are just for the story and pure imagination, with no bad intentions
tags. @apolloxxivmin
-- ˚˖𓍢ִ໋`🌿:✧˚.📷⋆𖧧 --
Every day, you merge into the city’s endless flow, a quiet figure lost in the current of bustling lives. Your weight is invisible but suffocating—a dull, relentless pressure that wraps around your chest and pulls your shoulders low. You drift through the same grey office building, slip into your usual seat, and speak in a voice that seems to evaporate as soon as it leaves your lips. Surrounded by colleagues who hardly notice you, you feel like a ghost, an echo fading in a room with louder voices.
"Good morning, sir", you greeted your boss, Mr Noh.
Unanswered, unnoticed. Like always.
The hierarchy here is an unbreakable chain, with you at the very bottom. You feel it every day, every slight glance past you, every ignored idea, every task passed down without a thought. Numbed by the countless responsibilities that serve everyone else but you.
Each day feels the same as the last, blurring into a cycle that leaves you feeling less alive. Trapped within this silent existence, you wonder if you’ve forgotten how to hope.
"Y/N, meeting", Aeri reminded you.
And once again, it feels like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed when you hear your boss call you in privately to his office.
"We're giving you some time off."
"Pardon?"
You pause, recalling the tense moment with your manager, Mr. Han, when you submitted a proposal under your own name instead of his. The argument had been fierce—no one else in the company had ever been bold enough to stand up to him like that.
--
"You know how this company operates. It’s about hierarchy and respect. This isn’t a game, Y/N. You’re fortunate to even be here. You need to understand your place," Mr. Han said, his tone looking down on you.
Finally, you looked up to meet his gaze.
"Looks like you’re lucky too, Mr. Han. If we were recognizing talent, you’d be beneath me."
--
You were confused. Why would you be receiving time off? Were they suspending you for knowing your worth and finally pointing out the mistakes in the company?
"Y/N, I suggest you take a break for a month or two. We know working in this industry, especially for women, can be challenging, with emotions and all."
Your heart sank. You understood what he meant, even if he avoided the term. You walked back to your desk to pack up your things as your coworkers began to whisper around you. You tried your best to swallow the situation, but you couldn’t help catching Mr Han out of the corner of your eye—perfectly sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair, unsuspended and free of any disciplinary action.
What a world we live in.
--
As you walk home, your heart begins to shatter. No one ever warned you about being an adult when you were a kid. All the stories summed up life with nice things—love, happiness, hope.
Hope.
Something you haven’t felt in a long time.
The next day feels strangely different as if the world has shifted ever so slightly in the light of dawn. You’ve cried the whole night, the weight of everything finally breaking through the dam you had built within.
As the first rays of sunlight peek through your window, you reach for your laptop. The familiar device now feels like a portal to the past.You pull up old photos, and as you scroll through each image, a wave of nostalgia washes over you. They’re snapshots of a time when life felt more colourful, the world more open.
"I was so happy, everything was brighter", you thought to yourself.
You can almost hear the laughter and feel the warmth of those sunlit moments. You remember the promise you once made to yourself: “I’ll capture whatever makes me happy.” It was your goal, your way of finding beauty in the everyday.
As you linger on a particularly beautiful shot, quiet determination begins to bloom in your chest. In that fleeting moment of clarity, you realize what you truly need: to escape, to break free from the chains that have held you down for far too long, and to reclaim the part of yourself that has been lost in the shadows.
--
“Jeju? What’s with the random trip?” Aeri’s voice crackled through the phone as you made the call after arriving at Jeju Airport.
You paused at her response, recalling the dark moments you had faced recently. You longed to tell her how you felt like you were dying inside, but now wasn’t the time.
“Well, it’s a long story,” you replied, trying to keep your tone light, though a hint of weariness slipped through. Aeri hesitated on the other end, sensing something was off.
“Are you okay, Y/N? You sound… different.”
You glanced around the busy airport, considering her concern.
“I’ll talk about it later,” you said finally, trying to sound reassuring. “I just need some time to clear my head.”
Aeri sighed, still worried. “Alright, but take care of yourself, okay? And call me if you need anything. I’ll be here.”
“Thanks, Aeri,” you said softly.
With that, you hung up and slipped your phone back into your bag. As you stepped out of the airport, a sense of relief washed over you. Jeju was beautiful, even under the cloak of night. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling lighter already. This was exactly what you needed—a place far removed from all the chaos.
--
After checking in at your hotel, you were eager to explore, despite the late hour. Spotting a nearby bike rental station, you quickly rented one, excitement bubbling inside you as you anticipated soaking in the atmosphere of Jeju at night.
Pedalling along the quiet streets, the cool night air invigorated you, and the gentle sound of waves crashing in the distance created a soothing backdrop. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silvery light that danced on the water. You felt a surge of freedom as you rode, each pedal pushing you further away from the chaos of your life.
"Please, just let time stop. Just for a moment," you thought as you pedaled, enjoying the peacefulness around you.
But then, as you turned a corner, disaster struck. You didn’t see the other bike until it was too late, and with a loud clunk, you collided, sending both of you off balance. You stumbled to a stop, heart racing, and looked up to see a young man—his surprised expression mirroring your own.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, rushing to check if he was alright.
He brushed himself off, standing tall with a sharp glare. His features were striking, and you could sense his annoyance, though he didn’t seem to want to dwell on it. As you both steadied your bikes, you felt the tension in the air.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your ride,” you said, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I’m really sorry. It was an accident.”
He sighed, his frustration still evident, but he seemed to be reining it in. “Just… be careful next time,” he muttered, adjusting his bike before giving you one last look and riding off into the night.
You stood there, watching him go, your initial embarrassment shifting to frustration. This definitely wasn’t how you had pictured starting your trip. Just when you thought the encounter was over, fate had other plans.
--
The next morning, you wandered down to the hotel’s cozy café for breakfast, eager to indulge in some local cuisine. The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, mingling with the scent of warm pastries. You settled at a small table near the open terrace, enjoying the view of the sun rising over the horizon.
You began to take out your new film camera, it was a camera you had once promised yourself you would fill with happy encounters, but that promise had fallen by the wayside as you drowned yourself in work. Struggling to get a grip on how it functioned, you started to look through the settings when a figure walked past your table.
It was him—the guy from last night. He sat down at his own table, and as soon as he caught sight of you, he rolled his eyes dramatically, as if to say not you again. Your stomach twisted slightly, but you decided to ignore him, focusing instead on your camera.
After finishing your meal, you grabbed your camera and stepped outside, eager to immerse yourself in the beauty of Jeju. The streets were alive with colour, and you began to capture the scenes around you—lush greenery, quaint shops, and the stunning coastline.
You wandered through the local market, snapping photos of the bustling vendors and their vibrant displays of fresh produce and handmade goods. Your heart lifted with each click of the shutter, the camera becoming an extension of your desire to find joy in the small things.
As you moved deeper into the market, you caught sight of him again. He was at a stall, inspecting some fruit. You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that you didn’t need to let his presence affect your mood. Instead, you focused on capturing the essence of the market, the lively interactions, and the warmth of the people around you.
But the moment you turned your camera towards the stall he was at, he noticed you. You could see his annoyance as he shot you an incredulous look, clearly irritated that you were taking pictures in the same space. He waved his hand dismissively as if trying to shoo you away.
This time, you couldn’t help but smirk. You weren’t about to let his irritation spoil your experience. You continued to film, zooming in on the vibrant colors and lively atmosphere, reveling in your newfound freedom.
You decided to embrace the moment, letting the world around you inspire you rather than letting him dampen your spirits. It was a new day, and you were determined to make the most of it—no matter who else was in the frame.
--
With the sun beginning to set, casting a warm golden hue over Jeju, you decided to call it a day. You returned to your hotel room, feeling a sense of fulfilment from capturing the beauty of the island. As you entered the room, the familiar buzz of your phone interrupted your thoughts. It was your mom calling.
“Y/N! Where have you been? You need to come back home!” she scolded, her voice a mix of worry and frustration.
You close your shut eyes for a moment, wishing the situation was just a dream.
“Mom, I’m on vacation. I told you I needed some time away,” you replied, trying to keep your tone steady.
“Time away? This isn’t just a vacation! You’re running from your responsibilities! You think it’s okay to just leave everything behind?” Her words felt like a punch to the gut.
“I’m not running away. I just need a break to think,” you protested, your frustration bubbling over. “I can’t deal with everything right now.”
“You think you can just ignore your responsibilities? Your brother needs support, and you should be helping your family, not gallivanting around Jeju!” she snapped.
You clenched your fists, tears filling up your eyes resulting to you trying to suppress the anger rising within you as you ended the call. Everything felt like a mess now, and you didn’t need any additions to that. You began to look around your room, searching for an escape. Your eyes landed on the dark sea beyond the balcony, and an idea quietly surfaced. Grabbing your film camera, you decided to take a walk along the beach.
You wanted to cry; you needed to cry.
You began to look around your room, searching for an escape. Your eyes landed on the dark sea beyond the balcony, and an idea quietly surfaced. Grabbing your film camera, you decided to take a walk along the beach.
You gazed out at the vast, dark sea, wishing your life could be as calm as the ocean before you. With each soft crash, you felt your sadness slowly wash away, like footprints disappearing under the water. For a good ten minutes, you stood there, breathing deeply, letting the steady hum of the sea drown out the noise in your mind.
When you finally opened your eyes, the world felt lighter, your heart less heavy. You wiped away the last tears, determined to hide any evidence of your pain. With your camera ready, you prepared to capture this peaceful moment you wanted to hold onto.
But just as you were about to take the shot, you spotted him—the man you had bumped into earlier. You sighed, thinking, of all the places. You weren’t in the mood for another encounter.
“I knew it, you were one of them,” he said.
You tried to ignore him; you had no energy to argue.
“I’m calling the cops on you.”
“Great,” you replied, sarcasm lacing your voice.
--
“She’s a sasaeng,” the man stated, crossing his arms. “She keeps following me around, and I want to file a report.”
You felt a wave of disbelief wash over you. You both found yourselves at the police station, the atmosphere tense and awkward. He stood confidently at the desk, explaining his version of events to the officer, who listened with a raised eyebrow.
“I don’t even know you or your name. Sir, this is ridiculous,” you said.
The officer glanced between the two of you, clearly intrigued by the unfolding drama. But it was hard to believe you didn’t know him; you seemed genuine yet utterly uninterested in Jaehyun, a very famous idol.
“So, you’re saying you don’t know him?”
“Yes! I only bumped into him a few times. How does that make me a stalker?”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Why are you so defensive? You’re the one who keeps showing up wherever I am.”
“I’ll just remind you that we’re on a small island,” you shot back, but the officer interrupted.
“Okay, let’s settle down. Ma’am, can you provide your name and occupation?”
You opened your mouth, ready to say, “I’m a accountant at—” but then it hit you like a cold wave. You weren’t your job anymore; you had been suspended from your job. The reality of your situation dawned on you, and suddenly, you felt lost.
You froze in the moment, a flood of emotions swirling inside you. Who were you without your job? Had you become so immersed in your work that your identity was tied solely to it? Did you even know what you liked or disliked anymore?
With a heavy heart, you looked up at the officer, and instead of your title, you simply stated,
“Just write Y/N, unemployed.”
Jaehyun raised an eyebrow, and for the first time, his irritation seemed to fade slightly. Maybe you weren’t really a stalker; you were just here for peace of mind like he was.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself to explain your side, but a part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were no longer the person you once claimed to be.
The incident ended with the officer clarifying that you were not a stalker, emphasizing that it was simply a misunderstanding. Jaehyun also acknowledged that you genuinely didn’t know who he was.
Ultimately, the officer concluded that both of you should avoid each other to prevent any further distress.
As you both stepped away from the desk, the tension began to dissipate. Outside, the cold evening air brushed against your skin, and an unexpected silence hung between you for a brief moment.
“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Jaehyun said, his tone more conciliatory now. “It’s just… it’s hard to escape from all this sometimes.”
“Tell me about it,” you replied, letting your guard down for the first time.
He exhaled, rubbing his neck. “Look, I’m sorry. My group’s been through a lot, and trusting strangers doesn’t come easy anymore.”
A hesitant smile tugged at your lips. “Your group… NCT?”
His expression softened, pride flickering in his eyes. “Yeah, that’s us.”
You nodded, your gaze lingering. “I get it. Caution makes sense.”
His eyes stayed on you, gentler now as the cool night wind tousled your hair, and for a quiet, heart-stopping moment, he just looked at you.
“I’m sorry, too,” you murmured.
A small smile broke across his face. “No hard feelings.”
--
The night air was calm, and without another word, you fell into step beside each other, walking back toward the hotel. The silence was surprisingly comfortable, but you couldn't help to calm down your emotions.
Somewhere in the ease, you felt tears gather in your eyes and Jaehyun was quick to sense it as you turned your head towards the sea to avoid him.
“So…” Jaehyun began, hoping to distract you. “What brings you here, then? To Jeju?”
Quickly, you brushed away the tears on your cheek and looked up at him.
“Just… a short escape,” you murmured, your voice soft and unsteady. “Work, life… everything started feeling like too much.” He listened intently, his gaze steady, as if inviting you to say more.
“I felt like I was drowning. Coming here was supposed to be my chance to breathe again. And then… well, then you happened,” you added with a faint, self-conscious smile.
A warm chuckle escaped him as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess I ruined that, didn’t I?”
“Maybe just a little,” you teased, your smile widening as you caught his gaze. “But I suppose I can forgive you. I must have ruined yours too.”
He shrugged, a playful glint in his eyes. “It’s alright. A night walk by the ocean seems like a pretty good way to make it up.”
You both smiled, the soft night air carrying a quiet understanding between you. A gentle breeze swept over, and he looked up at the stars, his hands in his pockets.
“You know… after so long being on stage and in front of crowds, it’s strange to be away from it all. I don’t think I’ve ever really had a chance to just… breathe. I thought I wanted this break, but now…” His voice drifted off, hesitant, as though he feared where his words might lead.
“But now?” you asked softly, inviting him to continue.
He looked at you, a vulnerability in his gaze you hadn’t seen before. “Now, I’m not even sure who I am without all of that.”
His words hung in the quiet night, and in that moment, you saw Jaehyun not as an idol but as someone searching, just like you. And suddenly, it struck you—you weren’t alone in your own struggles.
“Maybe that’s okay. Life is about figuring it out the next day-”
“After all, this is our first time living.”
His gaze softened as if the simple gesture meant more than either of you were prepared to admit. By the time you reached the hotel, the conversation had lulled into a quiet, companionable silence.
You both moved towards the elevator, standing side by side in silence. As the doors slid open, Jaehyun stepped in first, holding the door for you.
“Thanks,” you murmured, taking a step inside.
After pressing your respective floors, the elevator hummed softly as it ascended. Jaehyun glanced over at you, but you seemed lost in thought.
“Look, about earlier...” he started, unsure of how to continue, but you interrupted.
“I don’t want to make this a big deal. Let’s just keep our distance and enjoy our vacations.”
“Sure,” he replied, a bit reluctantly.
As the elevator came to a stop, the doors opened, and you stepped out, leaving a lingering tension in the air as you both went your separate ways, still unsure of what this unexpected connection meant moving forward.
--
The next morning, Jaehyun strolled down to the hotel dining area for breakfast, feeling a mix of anticipation and apprehension. As he scanned the room, he spotted you at a table in the corner, engrossed in your iPad. You seemed to be in your own world, occasionally glancing up as if lost in thought.
He hesitated for a moment, debating whether to approach you or not. Just then, you looked up and caught his gaze. A flicker of recognition crossed your face, and for a brief moment, it looked like he was about to smile. But then, you quickly stood up, gathering your things.
“Hey, it’s okay. I was just about to leave,” you said, attempting to keep your tone light.
There was an edge of awkwardness in your voice. You didn't want to impose on his space, especially after the previous night's tension.
“Wait, you don’t have to go,” he said, his words felt like they were lost in the air. Jaehyun’s heart sank as he watched you stand up.
"It's okay, I was finished anyway"
“Really, it’s fine,” he insisted, trying to sound convincing, but the sincerity in his voice didn’t seem to reach you.
As you walked away, Jaehyun’s quiet presence lingered in your mind as you stepped away, clutching your phone. Every ring from Mr Han felt like a reminder of all you’d been trying to escape from, of the life you’d left behind for a few days in search of peace. You quickly find a quiet corner where you can take the call.
“Mr. Han, I—” you started, trying to find the right words, but the frustration in your former boss’s voice cut through the line.
“Y/N, you really need to get back to me. The client is waiting!”
Heat rose in your cheeks as you tried to stay calm. “I understand, but I’m not in a position to help right now as I—” The anxiety surged, your breath growing shallow.
You couldn’t finish your sentence. Gripping the wall beside you for support, you closed your eyes, your breathing ragged as you struggled to keep yourself steady. Feeling you could drown from your cold sweats. With shaking hands, you ended the call, unable to continue.
The pressure of everything—the job you’d left, the life you’d momentarily escaped—felt like a weight pressing down. You barely noticed when you turned, and there he was, standing close, his gaze soft and filled with worry.
“Y/N?” Jaehyun’s voice was a quiet thread of concern woven into each syllable. “Are you alright?”
You let out a shaky breath, feeling the weight of everything crash down on you. The distance between you and Jaehyun felt insurmountable, but the urge to lean on him was overwhelming.
“Yes… I’m okay. I’m just trying to find balance,” you said, your voice trembling.
“Y/N, you need more than that,” he insisted.
He guided you to a nearby bench, the quiet warmth of his hand on your shoulder grounding you.
“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to,” he said softly. “Just… breathe. Let’s sit for a minute".
For a moment, you just sat there, grateful for his quiet support.
“Thank you, Jaehyun,” you murmured, overwhelmed by his kindness.
“I’m just doing what anyone would,” he said softly, studying your face. “Are you okay now? You know, it’s alright to take a break.”
“I wish it were that easy,” you admitted, the frustration heavy in your voice.
Before you could collect your thoughts, your phone buzzed again. Another message from Mr. Han. You glanced at Jaehyun, and he looked at you with sympathy, silently acknowledging the struggle you were facing.
“I don’t think you should answer that,” he said gently.
“It’s just work. I should deal with this,” you said reluctantly, the thought of the conversation ahead making your stomach twist.
Before you took the call, you glanced at Jaehyun, fear flickering in your eyes. He offered you a reassuring smile.
“I'll be here,” he said softly.
With a heavy heart, you stepped back, torn between the connection you craved and the unrelenting demands of your reality.
--
You both walked to a small café along the coast. The atmosphere was quiet and cozy, the gentle hum of soft music wrapping around you like a warm blanket. Jaehyun went to order for both of you, reminding you of the moment he suggested it when you slipped your phone back into your pocket.
“How about we grab some coffee?” he had said, his tone warm and inviting
When he returned to the table with two steaming cups, you took a moment to really look at him. How gentle and kind he was towards you softened your heart. How lucky he loved once to receive such affirmation. His fingers linger on yours as he passes you your drink.
"Thanks", you murmured.
The silences between you are like the soft pattern of rain outside. It was as if the calmness of the café had created a peaceful bubble that allowed both of you to just be. No words were needed, just the quiet company of each other and the warmth of your coffee. After a while, you took a deep breath and broke the silence.
"Jaehyun," you started, your voice soft, your eyes still trained on the rain outside. "I’m sorry. I'm sorry about last night, about this morning-"
He looked at you, but you couldn’t meet his gaze just yet.
"I didn’t mean to cause a scene or make things uncomfortable. I'm just... not handling things well. I was so overwhelmed."
Jaehyun’s brow furrowed slightly, but he remained quiet, waiting for you to continue.
"I guess what I’m trying to say is," you hesitated, finally turning to face him, "I want to repay you for stepping in, for making sure I was okay. You didn’t have to, but you did, and I really appreciate it."
You gestured toward your plate. "So, I’m paying for this. Consider it my way of saying thank you."
"You don’t have to repay me, Y/N. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"But I want to," you insisted, your eyes practically pleading. "Let me do this, okay?"
Jaehyun chuckled softly, holding your gaze. "Alright, I won’t argue with free coffee."
Relief washed over you as a smile finally tugged at your lips, and he smiled back, the warmth in his eyes making everything feel lighter, easier.
"Finally," he thought to himself, glad to see your walls slowly coming down.
You and Jaehyun stepped outside the café, and the fresh scent of rain on the pavement lingered in the air. As you linger on the ambience Jaehyun notices you taking out his film camera, but you seem hesitant as you try to switch on the camera.
Jaehyun, noticing your uncertainty, tilted his head with a curious smile. "Need some help with that?"
"Yeah, I’m still getting the hang of it. Do you…?"
Without a word, he stepped closer, gently taking the camera from his hands.
"Here, I’ll show you," he said.
His fingers brushed against yours as you adjusted the settings, and you couldn’t help but feel a small flutter in your chest.
You bring the camera up to eye level as you point it toward a bright red umbrella left forgotten near the edge of a shop.
"How about something that stands out but blends in with the mood of the scene? Like that umbrella there,"
You handed the camera back to you, guiding your hands to the right angle as he stood close behind you. His presence was calming but you couldn't help feeling a tangled in your stomach.
"Focus on that,"
You took a deep breath, following his advice, and snapped the shot. The sound of the shutter felt satisfying, and as you glanced down at the preview, a small sense of accomplishment swelled in you.
"Perfect, you’ve got a good eye for this."
"You should seen my mentor," you teased, your smile widening.
He grinned, stepping back slightly, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before he turned back toward the rainy street.
"Want to take a few more? There’s plenty of stories out here, especially in the rain."
For the rest of the afternoon, the two of you wandered the quiet streets of Jeju, capturing fleeting moments—a woman pulling her scarf tighter against the breeze, raindrops collecting on a parked bicycle, and an old couple sharing an umbrella. Each moment shared between you and Jaehyun felt easy, and natural, like the rhythm of the rain.
--
You both held ice cream cones as you settled on a bench near the shore. The sun peeked through the clouds, casting a soft glow as you savored each delicious bite. Just as you took another lick of your ice cream, the clouds grew dark, and drops of rain began to fall.
“Jaehyun, we need to run!” you exclaimed cheerfully, quickly covering your ice cream with your hands.
In a rush, you both sprinted to a nearby market, trying your best to stay shaded under the roof outside. You could feel his laughter vibrating in the air as you both struggled to keep your ice cream cones from getting drenched.
As you continued to finish your ice cream, savoring the sweet flavor, you turned your gaze back to the shoreline. The ocean's sound was soothing and calming despite the downpour, creating a scene that felt straight out of a movie. Just then, you stole a glance at Jaehyun.
His laughter was infectious, and the way he scrunched up his nose while trying to protect his treat made your heart flutter. It felt like you were falling into a deeper ocean, one filled with warmth and joy.
You pulled out your camera to capture the moment. The raindrops danced on the surface of the water, creating a mesmerizing pattern.
"Just for the memories," you thought.
Jaehyun turned to you, curiosity shining in his eyes. “So, do you take pictures as a hobby or professionally?” he asked.
“Just a hobby, actually. I don't recall having any photogenic pictures in my album,” you replied, chuckling at the thought. "I just take what makes me happy,"
"But we just spent the day capturing random moments. Regardless, they're still really beautiful to me," he defended, his gaze sincere.
"Well, it was fun for me," you said, your smile widening.
Jaehyun's expression softened, and a bright smile spread across his face, illuminating his features even in the dim light of the rainy day. There was something disarming about the way he smiled, as if the world around you faded into the background, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble.
His enthusiasm was infectious, and you couldn't help but feel a thrill at the thought of more days like this. For the first time in so long, you found yourself eagerly waiting for the next day. The rain continued to fall around you, but it only added to the magic of the moment, making everything feel fresh and alive.
"Do you think we'll ever meet again? Somewhere not here?" you asked, a hint of vulnerability creeping into your voice.
Jaehyun’s expression shifted, becoming more serious as he stared deeply into the rain.
“I hope so,” he said slowly, turning to face you. “I really wish we could get closer, even after this vacation is over," his gaze unwavering.
His sincerity wrapped around you like a warm embrace, and for a moment, the world outside the small market felt like a distant echo. You could see the longing in his eyes, a reflection of your own feelings. The connection you’d formed felt too precious to let slip away, despite the uncertainty of what lay ahead.
“I would like that too,” you admitted, your heart pounding in your chest.
--
As the days passed, your time together seemed to fly by, each moment filled with laughter and shared secrets. But all too soon, the end of your vacation arrived, and the reality of parting ways settled heavily in the air.
You found yourself standing outside the hotel, your suitcase at your feet, the familiar buzz of the bustling streets around you fading into a dull roar. Jaehyun stood a few feet away, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, a contemplative expression clouding his features.
“Guess this is it, huh?” he said, attempting to sound light-hearted, but the weight of the moment hung heavily between you.
“Yeah, it feels surreal,” you replied, forcing a smile despite the tightness in your chest.
You had hoped that this moment wouldn’t come, that time would stretch on indefinitely, allowing you to hold on to the connection you had formed. He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours.
“I really enjoyed our time together. It was… different, in a good way. It was nice to be around someone who didn’t see me just as Jaehyun from NCT. You reminded me of what it’s like to just be… myself.””
You nodded, feeling a bittersweet tug at your heart. “I’m glad I met you. And, I’ll always remember this time.”
A silence enveloped you both, filled only by the distant sounds of laughter and traffic. As the moments stretched, you couldn’t help but feel a void beginning to form in your heart. It was a feeling you hadn’t anticipated, one that blossomed from the realization that you had fallen for him during this brief interlude in your lives.
Jaehyun shifted, his gaze dropping to the ground before meeting your eyes again. “Come see me at my concert sometime, let's meet again,” he said, his tone hopeful.
The offer hung in the air between you—simple, yet charged with unspoken meaning. You hesitated, caught between the desire to say yes and the reality of the busy life waiting for you back home.
“I’ll think about it,”
You both lingered in the moment, neither wanting to be the first to say goodbye. Eventually, Jaehyun glanced at his phone, a reminder of his own responsibilities tugging him back.
“Take care of yourself, Y/N,” he said, his voice gentle yet firm, as if he genuinely wanted you to find peace.
“You too, Jaehyun. Don’t lose yourself in all of it,” feeling a surge of protectiveness for him.
With a final smile, you watched as he disappeared into the bustling crowd, your chest heavy yet filled with a strange sense of hope. As you made your way to the airport, you found yourself holding on to the memories of Jeju—of sunlit days, stolen glances, and quiet conversations.
Back in your own world, things quickly resumed their usual pace. Work piled up, Mr. Han’s demands didn’t ease, and the familiar pressures of life weighed on your shoulders. But every so often, you’d catch yourself replaying moments from Jeju: Jaehyun’s smile, the way his laughter echoed along the shore, the quiet understanding that had passed between you.
--
"Ah, that was a super long meeting," you sighed, leaning back in your chair and closing your eyes.
"Tell me about it," Aeri replied from her desk, looking equally drained.
Just then, the secretary approached you, holding a note in her hand. "Y/N, someone left a message asking you to call them back."
You glanced up, confused, and exchanged a quick look with Aeri, hoping for some clue. But she looked just as surprised. Hesitantly, you dialled the number, feeling a surge of anxiety as the call connected.
"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Y/N?"
"Yes, this is Y/N speaking. Can I help you?"
"I'm a staff member from SM Entertainment. Jaehyun requested a direct invitation for you to his concert…" Your heart dropped, and every word became a blur after hearing Jaehyun’s name.
You quickly looked at the calendar. Had it really been months since your trip to Jeju? The staff member kindly repeated the message, explaining that Jaehyun had arranged a ticket and backstage pass for you.
"I'm... sorry, but could I get back to you on this?" you asked, still trying to process the unexpected invitation.
"Of course," they replied. "We'll leave your name on the VIP list. If you decide to come, just let the staff know at the VIP section."
You hung up, your mind racing. You never imagined Jaehyun would follow through on his promise, let alone make it so personal. As you stared at your phone, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were ready to step back into that world—or if you even wanted to.
That evening, you had dinner with Aeri, who was as cheerful and lighthearted as always. Watching her laugh, you couldn’t bring yourself to share your concerns about Jaehyun. Somehow, her happiness felt too precious to disturb. After a moment, you decided to break the silence.
"Hey, Aeri," you began, trying to keep your voice casual. "Do you know NCT?"
"Of course, who doesn’t!" she laughed, and you could feel your nerves creeping up. But then, she added with a casual shrug, "Besides, my boyfriend’s from that group."
Your jaw dropped. "Your boyfriend is an idol?!"
She quickly shushed you, almost flipping over the table to keep you from speaking too loudly. Glancing around the restaurant, she sighed and whispered, "Yes. I didn’t mean to hide it, or that I don’t trust you. It’s just... you know, we’re kind of friends from work, and I didn't want things to get complicated."
You smiled, absorbing the surprise. Somehow, knowing she understood the complexities of dating someone in the public eye made you feel a bit less alone in your own tangled thoughts about Jaehyun’s invitation.
As the days crept closer to the concert, you continued to hold it all in, the uncertainty gnawing at you. On the evening before, you finally took a deep breath and decided to invite Aeri along. You figured her presence might ease the nerves and make it all feel a bit more normal.
"Aeri," you said, and she responded with a distracted "Hm?" without lifting her gaze from her work, so you decided to keep it short.
"I, uh... I got an invite to the NCT concert. Would you want to come with me?"
Aeri’s eyes widened in surprise and excitement, her fingers pausing on the keyboard. "Are you serious? Of course! How did you even score an invite like that?"
“Just… something that came up, you know?” you shrugged, keeping it vague.
“It’s going to be amazing! I can’t believe we’re actually going to see them perform live!”
Her enthusiasm brought a smile to your face, and, for a moment, the tension in your chest eased. With Aeri beside you, maybe facing Jaehyun again wouldn’t feel so daunting after all.
--
The night of the concert arrived, and as you stood outside the venue with Aeri, you could feel your heart racing. The bustling crowd, glowing lights, and excited chatter filled the air with an electric energy. Aeri, practically buzzing beside you, squeezed your arm as you both made your way to the VIP entrance. Her excitement was contagious, and you felt a flicker of it yourself, though nerves twisted in your stomach as you thought of the reason behind your invitation.
Inside, the venue felt even more surreal. The rows of seats stretched out like a sea, and the stage glowed with anticipation as fans filled the room. Your VIP passes led you closer than you’d imagined, right near the front, and as you settled in, you felt Aeri’s hand in yours.
“Can you believe we’re this close?” she whispered, her eyes gleaming. “We’re about to see them, live!”
The lights dimmed, and a hush fell over the crowd, followed by a collective gasp as the stage illuminated, and NCT appeared. The opening beats hit, and the whole arena seemed to come alive as the members took their places, Jaehyun among them. Your eyes drifted to him, a mix of emotions stirring as he sang, danced, and commanded the stage effortlessly. In that moment, he looked entirely different from the man you’d spent time with on Jeju—a star in every sense.
Aeri was in her element, cheering along with the crowd, and you found yourself swept up in her excitement. The concert unfolded like a dream, each song weaving between moments of high energy and softer ballads that made the arena feel intimate. As you watched Jaehyun move across the stage, your mind flickered back to all the memories you’d shared, and a pang of nostalgia washed over you.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Aeri exclaimed during a brief interlude, her face glowing. You nodded, forcing a smile, but your heart was conflicted. This night was as exhilarating as it was overwhelming, and as Jaehyun’s gaze swept over the audience, you wondered if he’d see you and recognize you in the crowd.
The concert came to a close with an eruption of applause and cheers, the room filled with the lingering energy of excitement. As the lights brightened, Aeri was practically bouncing beside you, her excitement escalating as you both made your way to the backstage entrance.
In the waiting room, NCT members were casually chatting after the high-energy performance. When you and Aeri entered, they greeted you warmly, and Aeri, in particular, seemed over the moon. She introduced herself and excitedly complimented the members, her enthusiasm making them all laugh.
“Hey! Thanks for coming!”, Taeyong greeted.
“Hi, thank you for having us,” you responded, a little overwhelmed by how down-to-earth they were despite their star status.
They were friendly and approachable, making small talk that felt genuine rather than forced. Then, you saw him—Jaehyun, standing at the far end of the room. He hadn’t noticed you at first, busy talking with another member, but when he turned and saw you, his expression softened instantly. His eyes met yours, and he broke into that familiar smile that had haunted your thoughts since Jeju.
“You actually came,” he said, his voice tinged with a hint of disbelief and relief.
“I didn’t think I would, honestly. But here I am”, feeling your nerves flutter. “Thanks for inviting me. It’s… surreal seeing you here.”
“I’m glad you came. Really,” Jaehyun replied, his voice sincere.
“We’re actually heading to an after-party at a club nearby. You both should come! It’ll be fun!”
Aeri’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm. “Oh my gosh, we have to go! It sounds amazing!”
You felt a wave of hesitation wash over you. The idea of a club after the concert seemed exhilarating yet overwhelming.
“I’m not sure,” you said, glancing at Jaehyun, who was watching you with a hopeful expression.
Jaehyun stepped closer, his demeanour reassuring. “You’ll be with us. It’ll be a good time, I promise. Just think of it as a celebration.”
You sighed, weighing the pros and cons. The thought of missing out on an opportunity to bond with Jaehyun and Aeri made your heart sink, but the thought of the club’s atmosphere sent your anxiety into overdrive. Finally, you agree relented.
The moment you stepped inside, a wave of culture shock hit you. The atmosphere was electric, pulsating with music and vibrant lights. It was everything you had imagined but somehow more overwhelming.
"Come, stay close to me", Jaehyun grabbing your hand.
You were glad for a moment, but as all of you made it to the couch women were swooning over Jaehyun. You felt a pang of discomfort watching the attention he received; it was overwhelming for you. You kept close to Aeri, who was revelling in the excitement.
“Look at them! They’re totally obsessed!” she laughed, pointing out the fans who crowded around Jaehyun, capturing every moment on their phones.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, seemed completely unfazed by the attention. He mingled with ease, laughing and chatting while he would glance over at you occasionally.
You couldn’t help but feel lost. The club scene was so much different to your usual surroundings, and you were more aware than ever of the differences between your world and Jaehyun. As the night wore on, you tried to enjoy the night, but every laugh from the crowd felt like a reminder of your insecurities, and the joy you saw on Aeri’s face only made you feel more disconnected.
Jaehyun continued to glance your way, concern flickering across his features as he noticed your discomfort, but you couldn’t shake the feeling overwhelmed, you took a step back, needing a moment to breathe. The pulsating energy of the club felt too much, and you realized you weren’t really enjoying your time at all.
You glanced at Aeri, who was caught up in the moment, and your heart sank. You had hoped this would be a fun adventure, but instead, it was just a reminder of how far you felt from everything that was happening around you.
“Aeri, maybe we should head back? It’s getting pretty wild in here,” you suggested, trying to keep your voice steady amid the noise.
She shook her head, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “No way! This is amazing! Just leave me for a bit; I want to enjoy this!” Aeri grinned, clearly swept up in the atmosphere.
Frustrated, you scanned the room, searching for someone to help. Just when you were about to give up, you felt a familiar presence behind you. Jaehyun appeared concerned etched across his face as he noticed the distress in yours.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice cutting through the chaos.
“I can't get Aeri to leave, I'm worried about her”
Without a second thought, Jaehyun nodded, taking charge.
“I’ll help. Let’s get her home,” he said decisively. With a reassuring grip, he took your hand, weaving through the throngs of people until you found Aeri, still lost in the music.
“Aeri, it’s time to go home,” he said gently, but there was an authority in his tone that she couldn’t ignore.
As the three of you made your way out of the club, Jaehyun kept a protective arm around you, making sure you felt safe amidst the chaos. Outside, the cool night air hit your skin, a refreshing change from the stifling atmosphere inside.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Jaehyun reassured you, pulling out his phone to arrange a ride for Aeri.
His attention to detail and care made your heart swell a little, reminding you how he was to you at Jeju. Once the ride was confirmed, he turned to you, concern still lingering in his gaze.
“Are you okay?”, he asked.
You nodded, feeling grateful for his support.
“Thanks for stepping in,” you said softly.
With Aeri safely in the car and waving goodbye, you turned to Jaehyun, feeling the weight of the night lift slightly.
“I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess,” you said, a hint of embarrassment creeping in.
“Hey, it’s not a mess if I’m here. Let’s get you home too, alright?”, he replied, his tone light but sincere.
As you both walked to his car, you felt a flicker of connection rekindling between you. Even in the chaos, there was a comfort in knowing he had your back, and for the first time that night, you felt a sense of calm wash over you.
“So, did you have fun at the club?” he asked, glancing at you with a hint of curiosity.
You paused, considering your response. “Honestly, I prefer to sit back and enjoy quiet moments,” you admitted.
Jaehyun looked surprised but intrigued. “Really? You didn’t enjoy the excitement?”
“It felt overwhelming. I like to unwind in my own way,”
He nodded, contemplating your words. “I get that. But I just thought it would be nice to share that experience with you.”
“I appreciate that,” you said softly, your heart fluttering at the thought of him wanting to include you. “I just… prefer quieter settings.”
“Maybe I can find a balance for both of us,” he suggested with a grin. “How about I invite you to a few more gatherings? Just to see if we can make it work.”
You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you, but you reminded yourself that it couldn’t hurt to try.
"Yeah, sure"
--
Over the next few weeks, you and Aeri joined Jaehyun and his friends on special occasions at the club. The flashing lights, pulsing music, and the lively atmosphere brought a new kind of excitement to your evenings. You enjoyed the laughter, the freedom to dance, and the chance to see Jaehyun in his element. But slowly, the late nights and the constant energy began to wear on you. You felt your enthusiasm dimming with each outing.
Still, every night, when the evening wound down and people started heading home, Jaehyun was there. He would walk you to his car, his hand lightly brushing against your back in a steady, comforting gesture. He’d ask if you were alright, his gaze full of quiet concern, and he’d listen when you tried to explain the small things that felt out of sync. Yet, even with his steady presence, you couldn’t shake the weariness that came from trying to belong in a world that didn’t feel like yours.
One night, as he was driving you home after yet another club outing, you found yourself staring out the window, watching the empty streets rush by. Jaehyun glanced over, sensing your silence.
“You seem… tired,” he said gently, breaking the quiet.
You sighed, nodding. “I am. It’s fun to go out and be with everyone, but… I don’t think this is really me.”
"You don’t have to keep coming just for me, you know,” he said. “I want you to feel comfortable.”
"I know, I really do. I just starting to think if we have another connection rather than these events,"
"Y/N, of course we do. Jeju was everything to me", he firmly defended.
The silence that fell between you both was thick, filled with unspoken words and questions. You stared out the window, your heart aching with the uncertainty, the shared nights that only left you feeling more adrift.
Jaehyun seemed to sense the tension too. Instead of pressing further, he let out a soft sigh and suddenly steered the car toward a small convenience store that glowed against the quiet street.
“Come on,” he said, parking and unbuckling his seatbelt. “Let’s get some ice cream. My treat.”
You glanced over at him, a little surprised but grateful for the change of pace. “Ice cream at midnight? Are we back in Jeju?” you teased lightly, letting a small smile escape.
“Maybe,” he grinned, opening his door. “Or maybe it’s my way of slowing things down—taking us back to something simple.”
The two of you entered the store, the fluorescent lights casting a soft glow over the rows of snacks and drinks. Jaehyun led you to the freezer aisle, opening it with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he considered the options.
“You choose,” he said, stepping aside to let you take your pick.
After a brief moment of indecision, you reached for your favorite flavor, and Jaehyun grabbed one for himself. The store was empty save for the clerk, who gave you both a nod as you paid and made your way out.
Sitting on the table outside, you unwrapped your ice cream in comfortable silence, the cool night air brushing against your skin. The quiet felt soothing, like the ocean breeze back in Jeju.
Jaehyun glanced over before he spoke. “I know things have been… different. And I’m sorry if I didn’t see how you were feeling sooner.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t know how to bring it up,” you admitted, taking a small bite of ice cream.
He nodded, looking down thoughtfully. “I just thought… maybe you’d see a different side of me. That maybe we’d find new memories, even if they weren’t always perfect.”
“We did,” you said softly. “But I think I just wanted a side of you that felt a little closer. More like this.”
Jaehyun’s face softened, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Let’s keep it simple, then. The way it should be.”
You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through you. And in that quiet moment under the stars, with only the hum of the city around you, you both found a new kind of connection that felt real, like the kind that would last even when the music faded.
--
"So, why don’t you take photos of people?" Jaehyun asked over dinner that evening.
He had invited you to his place, a rare occasion given both of your busy schedules—especially with him working on his solo album. These days, it felt like you hardly saw each other, but recently, he’d been reaching out more.
More than a friend would.
You flipped through the faded photos of Jeju scattered on the table, both of you reminiscing about the quiet beauty captured in each frame.
“Sometimes, the happiness we see in people is just a mask hiding what they’re really feeling,” you explained softly. “I thought I’d rather respect that.”
Jaehyun nodded thoughtfully, his gaze shifting back to you. “So, are you masking something now?” he asked, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Yes, yes I am,” you replied with a grin.
“Are you going to be honest and tell me?”
“Nope, I’m keeping you guessing.”
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, chuckling as he shook his head.
You looked at his vintage Polaroid camera, an idea forming.
“Alright, how about this?” you proposed. “Let’s take a picture of each other and exchange them. I’ll write my true feelings on your photo, and you’ll do the same on mine. But there’s one rule: we only give the photos back when we’re ready to reveal what we really feel. Deal?”
Jaehyun looked at you, captivated by the idea. He was so absorbed in your words that he took a moment to respond.
“Deal.”
You both took turns photographing each other, trying to hide your shyness by laughing and teasing. When it was Jaehyun’s turn to photograph you, he held up the Polaroid, his gaze warm and intent.
“Alright, turn a little to the left,” he instructed, his voice soft but focused. “Now, smile.”
You followed his direction, feeling a bit silly under his careful watch. The camera clicked, capturing the moment, but he didn’t lower it just yet.
“That’s perfect,” he murmured, a faint smile playing on his lips. “You look… beautiful.”
Your cheeks warmed at his compliment.
“Let me see!” you demanded with a playful grin as the photo developed.
When it was your turn to photograph him, Jaehyun relaxed into the moment, and you couldn’t resist teasing him a bit.
“Tilt your head just a bit,” you instructed. “Now, give me that serious look you do on stage.”
He smirked but complied, trying to keep his expression neutral, though the hint of a smile broke through. You clicked the shutter, capturing the side of him that felt both familiar and new. When the photos finished developing, you handed his picture back to him with a grin.
“Take a look at yours! Before it officially becomes mine,” you teased, your eyes gleaming with amusement. “You look really good. I’m lucky to have this picture.”
Jaehyun’s heart skipped a beat at your words, charmed by your cheerful excitement. He couldn’t help but find you adorable.
You each wrote down your true feelings on the photos, not knowing what the other had written. You both tucked the photos away, holding onto them as though they held something precious.
--
As you step out of the office building, your phone rings. Jaehyun’s name appears on the screen, and despite your exhaustion, a smile lights up your face.
“Hello, Jaehyun.”
“Hey, Y/N. Where are you now?”
“I just finished work—”
“I have something to tell you, and I wanted you to be the first to know,” he interrupts, his tone urgent. You freeze at the sudden seriousness, sensing that something might be wrong.
“Okay… go ahead. I’m listening.”
You can almost picture him on the other end, catching his breath, trying to steady himself before speaking.
“There’s this producer—someone really skilled, who could be a huge help for my new music project. He’s interested in working with me,” Jaehyun says, his excitement barely contained.
“But?” you prompt, sensing there’s more.
“But the catch is… he’s only available tonight, and he wants to meet at a club.”
You feel a twinge of discomfort. In your mind, nothing good ever seems to come from such meetings, but you remind yourself that this is Jaehyun’s career. You’re not fully familiar with the music industry, so you want to hear him out before passing any judgment.
“I wanted you to be the first to know. And… to make sure you’re okay with it,” he adds softly. “I don’t want to do something you wouldn’t like.”
You pause, giving his words careful thought. Of course, you want Jaehyun to succeed and have every opportunity he deserves. But the idea of him going to a club, especially for a meeting, doesn’t sit well with you. Yet, you don’t want to be the one to hold him back.
“Jaehyun, I’m probably the last person you should be asking for… permission. I don’t know enough about your industry to judge.”
“I know,” he replies quickly. “But I just really wanted to share this with you. It means a lot to me.” There’s a vulnerability in his voice that tugs at your heart. “Come with me?”
“No,” you say gently. “This is something you need to handle on your own. I don’t want to be a distraction.”
“You’re never a distraction, Y/N,” he insists. Then, after a pause, he adds, “I’ve heard… things about this producer. That he has a reputation in clubs, especially with… girls. So, please, come with me. I don’t want any misunderstandings between us.”
You sigh, the weight of his request settling over you, knowing he wants you there as his anchor, as the one he trusts most.
After a pause, you finally agree to go with him. Jaehyun breathes a sigh of relief, thanking you over and over. Before you know it, he’s already arranging a driver to pick you up, wanting to make things as easy as possible.
When you arrive at the club, the noise, the flashing lights, and the press of bodies instantly overwhelm you. The crowd is thick, and you feel almost invisible as you enter. To everyone here, you’re just another face in the crowd, a nobody. Your eyes immediately scan the room until they land on Jaehyun, not far from where you are, deep in conversation with the producer.
Not wanting to intrude on his discussion, you make your way to the bar, ordering a drink, hoping it will settle your nerves. As you wait, you can’t help but overhear a few girls nearby, chatting animatedly about Jaehyun. You glance over, noticing their eyes are all trained on him.
“That’s Jaehyun, right? The one talking to the boss?” one of them says, her voice full of admiration.
“Yeah. He’s even more handsome in person,” another girl adds, twirling her hair. “And now that he’s connected? Total package.”
A sinking feeling settles in your chest as you realize these girls are part of the producer’s entourage—or perhaps for his amusement. Their conversation softens as they discuss “getting called in” to meet Jaehyun, clearly viewing him as the next big opportunity.
It doesn’t sit well with you, the way they’re admiring him only because of his rising reputation. They don’t see the Jaehyun you know—the one who spends late nights perfecting lyrics, who pours his heart into every melody. To them, he’s just the latest shiny thing, a stepping stone for their own ambitions.
For a moment, you feel an urge to step in, to somehow defend him, to tell them he’s worth so much more than shallow admiration. But you take a deep breath, reminding yourself that you’re here for him, not to let your insecurities get the best of you.
Finishing his conversation with the producer, Jaehyun glances around and his eyes light up when he spots you. His face breaks into a warm smile that melts away any remaining doubt you had about being here.
“Hey,” he says, his voice soft but full of warmth. “Thanks for coming. Really. It means a lot.”
“Of course,” you reply, smiling back at him. “I’m here for you.”
You both linger in a shared silence, the pounding music and chaos of the club fading into the background as you lock eyes. In this moment, it feels like you’re the only two people in the room.
“So, how did it go?” you finally ask, breaking the silence.
“I think it went well,” he says, unable to hide the pride in his smile. “But I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”
“A little confidence never hurt anyone,” you tease lightly.
Jaehyun laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Maybe. Having you here makes everything better, like… I’m doing something right.”
Your heart felt like it had taken a hit, an arrow striking somewhere deep. You wanted to tell Jaehyun that the whole scene felt wrong from the start, that it made you uneasy. But seeing him genuinely happy, glowing with the promise of new opportunities, softened the edge of your discomfort. Maybe, for him, it was worth it.
Just then, the group of girls who had been watching him earlier made their way over, flashing practiced smiles.
“Hey, Jaehyun, right? We work with the producer,” one of them said, her voice dripping with charm.
Without hesitation, they closed in around him, the leader of the group resting a hand lightly on his arm.
You took a step back, feeling like an outsider in a place you never wanted to be, as Jaehyun exchanged polite words with the girls. But soon, their interactions became more forward—laughter too loud, hands lingering on his shoulder, his back, brushing against him as if they couldn’t resist touching him.
More girls nearby started to notice, whispering excitedly, “Isn’t that Jaehyun? I heard he’s working with the producer now.”
Their voices were filled with admiration and a hungry curiosity—the kind that surfaced only when someone had something others wanted. Slowly, more of them drifted over, until Jaehyun was nearly surrounded, their hands reaching out as if he were some prize. One girl even handed him her phone, asking for his number under the pretense of “future projects.” Jaehyun, always polite, tried to decline without offending her, but the group was insistent, treating him like a trophy.
A knot tightened in your stomach. It hurt more than you wanted to admit, watching them admire him for all the wrong reasons. And he, standing at the center of it all, looked caught off guard but also resigned, as if he’d been here before—surrounded by people who only saw his status.
Watching this unfold tore at you, and before you knew it, you turned and started to walk away from the loud party. The instant Jaehyun noticed, his expression shifted to concern. He excused himself from the throng of girls and quickly made his way over to you.
"Y/N, wait!" he called, gently grabbing your wrist. "What’s wrong? Talk to me."
"Everything, Jaehyun," you replied, voice tight. "You’re at the center of it all, surrounded by people who only see you as a symbol of power and connections. It just feels… wrong."
Jaehyun furrowed his brows, clearly caught off guard.
"I didn’t ask for this, Y/N," he said defensively. "I’m not trying to play some 'manly' role. This is just work—I told you. These girls work with the producer. I can't just push them away."
“Well, if this is part of your work, then maybe you don’t need me around,” you replied, trying to walk away again, but he tightened his grip on your wrist.
“Y/N, you’re being unreasonable now,” he said, frustration seeping into his tone.
You looked up, eyes fierce. “Maybe I am, Jaehyun, but that’s the problem. Men like you get placed on a pedestal, while women who speak out—women like me—get labeled as ‘too much.’ You may not see it, but this whole scene reinforces everything I stand against.”
A flash of offense crossed his face.
“So what am I supposed to do? Stop living my life because you don’t agree with how it looks? I’m not doing anything wrong, Y/N.”
“But you’re not doing anything either,” you replied, disappointment clear in your voice. “I guess this is where we clash, Jaehyun. I can’t accept this part of your life.”
You lowered your gaze, your heart aching with the weight of leaving him, but deep down, you felt he wasn’t fighting for anything real. His voice shook as he processed your words.
“So what now? Are you ending this over something I didn’t even know was an issue?”
“I can’t pretend it doesn’t bother me—just like it bothered you when you thought I was intruding on your privacy.”
Jaehyun looked down, the weight of the situation crashing over him. He seemed crushed, the reality of losing you sinking in.
“Do you… hate me?” he asked softly, his voice laden with sadness.
You felt the ache in his words, but you both needed this moment of honesty.
“Jaehyun, I could never hate you,” you replied, tears brimming in your eyes. “And that’s why this matters so much to me. I’m sorry, Jaehyun, but I have to go.”
You pulled away, leaving him standing there, alone in the crowd, as you walked out into the night. Leaving Jaehyun standing alone in the cold night air. A part of you wished he’d have reached out, tried to hold onto you—but the reality was stark and unyielding. With each step, your tears fell harder, the painful truth settling in: he wasn’t the kind of person who would fight to keep you.
Walking away, you pulled out your phone and dialed Aeri’s number.
“Aeri? Can you pick me up? Please, I can’t stand this anymore,” you choked out, voice thick with emotion.
But as your steps slowed, the realization hit: no one was coming right away. You tried to locate a nearby bus stop or a taxi, but you were unfamiliar with the area, so used to going everywhere with Jaehyun by your side. The weight of it all settled on your shoulders, and just as you were about to lose hope, you accidentally collided with someone.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, bowing your head, trying to hide your tear-streaked face.
“Oh, aren’t you Y/N? Are you okay?” you looked up to find Jeno standing before you, a mixture of concern and surprise on his face.
“Are you—” you stammered, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. “Jeno?”
“Yeah, Aeri sent me to pick you up instead. She said you needed it,” he replied, glancing back toward the club before focusing on you again. “What happened?”
You let out a sigh, feeling the familiar knot tighten in your chest. “It’s complicated.”
Jeno’s brows knitted together, a genuine empathy in his expression. But sensing your reluctance, he didn’t press further.
“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” he offered softly. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. Aeri’s worried.”
Grateful for his calm presence, you nodded and followed him to his car, parked under the dim glow of the streetlights.
As he drove, Jeno glanced at you, his tone gentle but thoughtful. “If you need to talk about it… I know a bit about you and Jaehyun.”
You managed a small smile. “Aeri filled you in, huh?”
He nodded, smiling back. “Jaehyun can be… a lot sometimes.”
Looking out the window at the passing lights, you swallowed the lump in your throat. “We fought. Over something that just… doesn’t seem to matter to him.”
Jeno’s expression softened.
“If it matters to you, then it’s worth something. When someone’s in the spotlight like he is, sometimes it takes a while for them to understand the impact of their actions.” He looked at you, a steady reassurance in his eyes.
“Give it time. If he truly cares, he’ll come to see why it’s important to you. You deserve someone who’ll stand by what you believe in.”
“Thanks, Jeno,” you whispered, grateful for his steady support.
--
“Y/N, can you help me with this?” your colleague asked, passing over yet another project folder.
“Sure, just put it aside with the other folders,”
You barely look up as you tried to focus on the spreadsheet in front of you. Each day new assignment seemed to pile higher on your desk. Regardless, you still work like crazy to the point it seems like you wanted the pile of work.
Aeri hovered nearby, her expression laced with concern. “Are you… okay?” she asked gently.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Just getting things done before audit season.”
“That’s it, y/n. It’s not even the audit season yet, you should take it slow. You’ll be worn out before the audit season”
You just scoof her off, saying you’re not the type to get tired easily. But as she walked away, you felt the weight of it all pressing down. Taking a deep breath, you glanced at your phone, but the screen remained empty.
That night, you decided to take a break and invited Aeri over to your apartment for drinks. She arrived with her boyfriend, Jeno, who brought along a few snacks and his usual easygoing smile. The three of you settled around the living room, drinks in hand, with laughter filling the space as the night went on.
You’ve been trying to keep up with Aeri teasing Jeno and revealing funny stories from the office, sipping from your glass and smiling at the right moments, but your mind kept wandering off. At one point, Aeri gave you a knowing look.
“Hey, are you really okay?” she asked, nudging you.
“Yeah, just… you know, work’s been a lot lately. I’m probably just exhausted.”
“I told you, you would run out energy before the audit. You should be more gentle to yourself”,
You looked into the can of beer in your hand, it was empty. Somehow it reminded you how you’ve been feeling lately, despite the tons of work.
“I should have. I thought the load if work would fill up my mind, my time. But now, I don’t feel anything”,
Aeri and Jeno was suprised at your confession. You had always seem to have your life together, she wasn’t expecting you to rant out just like.
“Y/N”, Jeno unsure of how to address the situation. “Hm, are you— hm— drunk? Should we call it a night?”
You chuckled, how miserable you have been trying to maintain the image of indepent woman that now you were unsure do people that you seriously when your not mentally unstable.
“I must be a bit tipsy—“,
“Your waiting for him, aren’t you?”, Aeri interrupted, which took you by suprises. “I can tell by how happy you are with him”
Your eyes slowly turn into glass without you realising as Aeri continue.
“That now, when he left, he took it with him”,
You slowly look at her. Aeri had always been cheerful, lifting up the mood that she might seem immature sometimes. But in the moment, you realise that she must have been masking her pain.
Just like how all of us have been doing.
“Yes, and I’m missing him too much”.
Aeri slowly scotch closer to you, wrapping her arms around you.
“It’s okay, y/n. You don’t need to tough it out for now. There’s nothing wrong about it”, as she whisper to you while embracing you.
Her words cracked something inside you. A tear slid down your cheek before you could stop it. You finally let the tears flow, the concern and understanding in her words made realized she’d noticed everything you thought you’d hidden.
Aeri wraps her arms tighter around you. Just like you, she had her own struggles masked by smiles and laughter, and for the first time, you both let yourselves be vulnerable together, acknowledging the pain you’d all been carrying alone. Jeno placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, saying nothing, letting you both just be.
Unlike you, Jaehyun headed to the club that night, on his way to meet the producer to discuss new ideas for his songs. He had been working with the producer for a few weeks now, and while Jaehyun appreciated the producer's vision and creativity, he was growing impatient with the slow progress. It didn’t help that the producer seemed wrapped up in the nightlife scene, filling his evenings with club activities that left Jaehyun restless, wishing he could focus solely on the music instead.
Just like you, he was starting to feel worn out.
“Hey, Haeun,” Jaehyun greeted a woman who had approached him early on, soon after hearing he’d be collaborating with the producer.
She smiled back, a faint, knowing look in her eyes. After weeks of politely declining advances from the women who had initially surrounded him, the interest had mostly faded. One by one, they’d lost interest, sensing that Jaehyun wasn’t interested in mixing business with pleasure—or perhaps realizing his connection with the producer wasn’t as social as they’d hoped.
“Looking for the producer?” she asked casually.
“Yeah.” Jaehyun ordered a drink, taking a sip as he looked around. “Do you know where he is?”
“Oh, you know him,” she replied, sliding her hand subtly onto his lap. “He’s probably just handling some ‘work’ stuff. He’ll be here in a minute.”
Jaehyun resisted the urge to pull away, the casual touch a reminder of how he’d been drawn into this world—a place he never truly fit into. His mind drifted back to a different kind of night, quieter and far from the flashing lights and unfamiliar faces. And as much as he tried to forget.
His mind drifted to you.
Jaehyun gently removed Haeun's hand from his lap, hoping to diffuse the situation without causing a scene.
"Sorry, Haeun, but I’m just here to talk business." he said, keeping his voice calm,"
Her smile faltered, her expression twisting with embarrassment and irritation. She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a challenging tone.
“Oh, come on, Jaehyun,” she said, her tone laced with annoyance. “You’re really just here to work? Don’t act so above it all.”
When he didn’t respond, she moved in even closer, pressing herself against him as though determined to wear down his resistance. Jaehyun felt his patience thinning; he pushed her gently but firmly aside, realizing that his polite refusals weren’t going to get through to her.
“Look, Haeun,” he said, keeping his voice steady but his tone sharp, “I meant what I said. I’m not interested.”
The flash of anger in her eyes was unmistakable, her pride clearly bruised.
“You think you’re better than everyone here?” she sneered, her voice loud enough to draw a few curious glances from nearby. “Or are you just here to use the producer and then leave, like none of us matter?”
Jaehyun took a deep breath, steadying his frustration. He missed you—missed the clarity and grounding you brought, and for a split second, he felt the sting of how right you’d been about all of this.
“I’m here for my music,” he replied, his tone measured and cool. “If you don’t get that, it’s best you leave me alone.”
Without another glance, Jaehyun turned and made his way out of the club, distancing himself from her and the crowd. He could feel the weight of their stares trailing behind him, but he kept his gaze forward. The entire encounter had left him feeling hollow, revealing the shallow undercurrents he’d ignored for too long.
Outside, under the quiet stretch of the night sky, Jaehyun searched for solace in the calm after the chaos. He pulled out his phone, his thumb hesitating over your contact. He wanted to call you, to hear your voice and find comfort in the familiarity he’d pushed away. For a long moment, he debated it, the thought lingering like a lifeline in the silence.
But his pride held him back. He’d already felt it bruised enough tonight, and the painful reminder of the distance he’d let grow between you weighed heavy on his heart—a reminder of what he’d lost and what he might never get back.
--
Jaehyun wandered to a street bar near his place, settling into a quiet corner with a bottle and a glass. The night air was thick with the hum of city life, a familiar background to his quiet unraveling. He glanced at his phone, fingers hovering over a message he’d hesitated to send for too long.
With a steadying breath, he finally typed to the producer:
I don’t think this is working out. I’ll need to step back from our project.
He hit send, feeling the release like stepping off a tightrope, his resolve solid. He poured himself another drink, the burn of the alcohol both grounding and numbing.
Running a hand through his hair, he tried to steady himself. In moments of despair, his mind always drifted back to you, longing for the comfort of your warmth amid the silence.
He lifted his head from the glass just as a familiar face appeared across the bar, sparking instant nostalgia.
“Jaehyun?” The voice was warm and surprised. When he looked up, he saw the wide grin of an old high school friend, Minseok.
“Oh—Minseok-ah!” Jaehyun stood as they reached out for a handshake, pulling each other into a friendly chest bump.
“What are you doing here alone?” Minseok asked.
“Just trying to get through the day. How about you?”
“Why do it alone? Come on, let’s drink together,” Minseok said, chuckling as he took the seat beside Jaehyun.
Laughter quickly filled the air as they caught up, reminiscing over shared memories. The comfort of familiarity eased some of Jaehyun's earlier bitterness as the drinks kept flowing.
“So, what are you up to now? Last time we talked, you were at SNU studying music,” Jaehyun asked, curiosity sparking in his eyes.
Minseok smiled. “I’m producing now. If you’re ever looking for someone to collaborate with, I’d be honored.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’re producing now?”
“Yeah, I’ve been at it for quite a while.”
As the conversation deepened, Jaehyun found himself opening up about the fallout with his previous producer, the frustrations of the past weeks, and the growing feeling of losing himself in the industry.
Minseok listened intently, sympathy etched in his expression.
“I get it. It happens you know? Sometimes, people even forget why they’re doing what they love in the first place.”
Jaehyun sighed, swirling his drink.
“Yeah, I just didn’t expect it to feel this empty”.
“Well, come to my studio,” Minseok replied, pouring another drink. “Maybe I can help.”
A spark of hope flickered in Jaehyun's chest, something he hadn't felt in ages—something he had lost in the sterile demands of his previous producer.
“I’d actually like that… a lot.”
--
The next few weeks passed in a blur. Jaehyun threw himself into his music, each day dissolving into the next as he filled the empty hours with endless melodies and late-night recording sessions. Minseok’s studio became his second home, its walls absorbing every failed attempt, every breakthrough, and every quiet moment of doubt.
One evening, Jaehyun headed to the company building for a round of final checks on his solo album. His body was tired, but his mind was relentlessly driven. As he walked past the studios, he nearly bumped into Jeno, who looked like he was the last one out after practice. Jaehyun’s face lit up, grateful for the unexpected company and a break from his own thoughts.
"Hyung!" Jeno greeted with a wide grin, pulling him into a quick hug. "Are you here working on your solo album?"
"Yeah," Jaehyun replied with a tired smile. "Just wrapping things up, trying to balance it with the group’s schedule."
Jeno chuckled, nodding knowingly.
"Sounds like you’re living in the studio these days."
"Yeah… but my friend's been helping a lot."
"That’s good. You could use the support."
Jaehyun hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. Finally, he broke the silence.
"Hey, Jeno… have you seen Y/N around lately?"
There was no hiding the fact that Jeno was the one who took you home that night. When news broke of him being spotted with a woman in his car, rumours quickly started to swirl. Although SM Entertainment promptly cleared things up, stating that Jeno was simply helping out a friend, the speculation had already spread far and wide.
Jeno’s expression softened. He knew this question would come sooner or later.
"We hung out a few nights ago," he said, choosing his words carefully. "She’s… well, she’s been busy with work. The overtime's wearing her down a bit."
"That's good to know", Jaehyun's shoulders relaxed slightly, but there was a flicker of something else—regret, maybe.
Thoughts of you had crept into his mind more than he wanted to admit, but he still felt the weight of their last encounter at the club. The harsh words exchanged, her disappointment in him—it all lingered, making it hard to reach out.
"She's changed a bit," Jeno continued, his tone gentle. "But she's still Y/N… maybe just a little more guarded."
Jaehyun looked away, clenching his jaw. He hadn’t reached out, and not for lack of wanting to. After the fight, he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she didn’t want to see him anymore, that maybe he’d crossed a line that couldn’t be erased.
"Hyung, you should reach out to her. I think she’s waiting for you, even if she wouldn’t say it."
Jaehyun’s chest tightened, a surge of longing mixed with uncertainty. The thought of her waiting gave him a sliver of hope, but the memory of her disappointment held him back.
“Maybe…” Jaehyun murmured, half to himself.
But he knew he’d have to decide soon—before the silence between them became a wall neither could cross.
Jaehyun’s thoughts churned as he walked back to his car, Jeno’s words echoing in his mind: "I think she’s waiting for you." He replayed the last fight in his head—the hurt in your eyes, the way you turned and walked away, and the silence that had followed ever since. Every part of him wanted to see you, but his pride and guilt had held him back. Still, the hope that you might be waiting was enough to push him forward.
Before he could talk himself out of it, he decided he couldn’t go another day without seeing you.
Exhausted from another late night at the office, you stepped out into the chilly evening air, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. Fatigue clung to you, making every step feel heavier. All you wanted was to go home and collapse into bed.
But as you descended the office steps, a familiar figure caught your eye—Jaehyun.
The sight of him only reignited the simmering anger you'd been trying to bury since your last argument. Without a second glance, you walked right past him, clutching your bag tightly. He blinked, briefly thrown off, before quickly following you, trying to keep pace.
"Y/N… can we talk?" he called, his voice almost pleading.
"We have nothing to talk about, Jaehyun," you replied, your gaze fixed straight ahead.
"Please… I need you to listen to me," he insisted, desperation edging into his tone.
"I already got your message, Jaehyun."
He frowned, confusion flashing across his face.
"What message, Y/N? I never even reached out to you yet."
"Exactly," you shot back, bitterness lacing your words. You stopped abruptly, finally turning to look at him, eyes cold. "No reply is a reply, don’t you get it?"
He fell silent, visibly taken aback by the weight of your words. You could see the hurt flicker across his face, but you refused to let it soften your resolve.
"Since when did you start seeing silence as a bad sign for us?" he murmured, searching your face. "We’ve shared so many moments in silence… yet I always felt connected to you. I thought you understood that."
You shook your head, feeling the frustration bubble over. "This is different, Jaehyun. You don’t understand—"
"Then make me understand!" he interrupted, his voice rising with urgency. "Let me in, Y/N. I know I should’ve reached out, and I'm trying to make up for it now. I was caught up with my schedule, the solo album, everything... but that’s not an excuse."
He took a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging.
"I'm just... shocked that my silence hurt you this much. I got so used to feeling your love, even in quiet moments, that I took it for granted. I thought you knew how much you mean to me without me having to say it."
You stood there, caught between shock and confusion, unsure whether to feel angry or softened by his words. He looked down, his gaze falling to the ground, as if ashamed.
"Jaehyun," you started slowly, "I think… I think I’m a bit lost."
He squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment, before looking back up at you, a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze.
"I like you, Y/N. I really do. And the thought of living without you… I don’t think I can do it anymore."
The raw honesty in his words left you speechless, your emotions tangled in a knot you couldn’t quite unravel. Your mind and heart seemed to be waging a silent war, each pulling you in a different direction.
"Jaehyun," you finally whispered, barely able to find your voice. "I… I can't give you an answer right now."
He nodded slowly.
"I understand. And that's okay. Really. You can keep living your life, just as you are. But… if you ever find your way back to me along the way, I'll be here, waiting."
The two of you held each other's gaze, a shared softness settling over the tension. For a moment, it felt like the world had quieted around you, leaving just the fragile connection lingering between you. After a beat, he spoke again, his voice gentle.
"Let's just have dinner together. I can’t bear seeing you like this. Let me at least make sure you’re okay tonight."
You hesitated, but the sincerity in his eyes made it hard to refuse.
A short while later, you found yourselves seated at a quiet, tucked-away street bar. The dim lighting cast a soft, golden glow over the tables, creating a small bubble of warmth around you both. As you sat across from him, waiting for your food, an awkward silence settled between you.
“Thank you,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “For agreeing to this. I know things have been… complicated.”
“It’s just dinner, Jaehyun,” you murmured, but even as you said it, you both knew it was more than that.
“I know. But it’s been a while since we’ve done this—just sat together. I missed it.”, you stared at him, disbelief crossing your face.
"So, what made you finally reach out to me?"
The question seemed to catch him off guard. He shifted, his fingers tracing patterns on the table, clearly thrown by your directness. But you held his gaze, waiting, wanting nothing but the truth. Finally, he exhaled, as if releasing a breath he’d been holding for too long.
"Jeno told me about you," he admitted, his voice low.
Your eyes narrowed slightly, a mix of curiosity and surprise tugging at you. "What did he say?"
"He told me how you’ve been working late, how you've become more reserved, and… how you were hurting. And I knew I couldn’t just sit by and let that happen—not when I’m part of the reason."
His words hung heavy in the air, raw and unfiltered. For the first time, you saw a flicker of vulnerability in him, a glimpse of the struggle he’d been hiding beneath the image he showed to the world. You took a slow, deep breath, feeling a pang in your chest as you watched him.
"At first, I questioned everything you said during the argument, and I let my ego get in the way. I didn’t want to admit that maybe… maybe I was the one who let things get this far. I thought… maybe you’d be better off without me."
The honesty in his voice chipped away at something inside you, softening the wall you'd built around your heart, brick by brick. After a quiet moment, he spoke up again, even softer.
“I’ve missed you, Y/N. More than I realized, honestly.”
The sincerity in his eyes held you there, and for a brief moment, the walls you’d built around yourself began to soften. Just then, the waiter arrived with your drinks, placing them carefully on the table before slipping away. You took a small sip, feeling the warmth of the drink calm some of the tension lingering between you.
"Jaehyun," you began softly, choosing your words carefully. "I really like you. I like you a lot, maybe even more than I should," you confessed, and you saw his eyes light up, a flicker of hope sparking within him. But you quickly continued, grounding him.
"But I can't just jump into your arms because of that. Not when there's still a part of you—something in you—that I’m struggling to accept."
Jaehyun listened intently, his gaze unwavering, absorbing every word with an intensity that made your heart ache. He nodded, acknowledging the weight of what you were saying.
"I need time," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Time to think this through carefully, to be sure that I can handle everything that comes with loving you."
He took a deep breath, his expression softening with understanding. "I respect that. Take all the time you need. Just… let me show you that I can be better, that I can be someone worth waiting for."
The sincerity in his promise warmed something deep within you, a small glimmer of hope settling in your chest.
"Let's do that".
--
After that night, Jaehyun took your words to heart. He didn’t push or demand more than you were ready to give; instead, he let his actions do the talking. He slowly made his presence a comforting constant in your life. Despite the walls you’d built around your heart, you felt them weakening.
He started with the small things. He’d text you after your long workdays, asking how you were holding up or sharing a lighthearted story to lift your spirits. Occasionally, he’d wait for you outside your office building after a hectic day, bringing you to a nearby café or restaurant, where you’d chat about work, life, and everything in between over the meal. He’d simply sit and listen, his attention fully focused on you, as though you were the center of his world. In those moments, you felt truly loved.
But then came the grander gestures—the ones that truly took you by surprise and reminded you just how serious he was about making up for lost time.
On one of his overseas trips, he sent you a carefully wrapped package. Inside was a small, hand-carved music box with a delicate melody that played when you turned the handle. Alongside it was a note in his familiar handwriting.
“For when I can’t be there in person, I hope this brings you a bit of comfort. - Jaehyun”
The small gift warmed your heart, and you could almost picture him browsing through shops, trying to find something that would mean something to you. As the days passed, you found yourself reaching for the music box on nights when you missed him more than you wanted to admit.
One evening, he invited you out to dinner, insisting it was just a casual meal. But when you arrived, you realized he’d gone out of his way to reserve a table at a restaurant you’d mentioned in passing, one you’d wanted to visit for ages. The thoughtfulness behind each gesture made it clear—he was listening, paying attention to the details you sometimes didn’t even remember sharing.
After dinner, the night felt lighter, as though a fragile peace had settled between you. As you both walked out of the restaurant, Jaehyun glanced at you, his expression hopeful but cautious.
“Would you… like to come over?” he asked softly. “I could show you some of the tracks from the album.”
“Sure,” you replied with a gentle smile.
He led you to his place, a quiet but cozy apartment just like how you remember it was. As you entered his place, you immediately noticed the shelves lined with LPs which was new since the last time you visit, each one carefully organized. Jaehyun led you to the collection, his face lighting up as he pulled a few records out to show you.
"These are some of my favorites," he explained, flipping through the collection with an easy familiarity. He held up his own LP, his album, with a hint of pride and vulnerability in his eyes.
"Have you heard my album?" he asked, his tone soft, almost uncertain.
You shook your head. “Not like this for sure. I was… waiting for the right moment, I guess.”
You hesitated, glancing at the LP in his hands. “Honestly… I think I was a little scared to listen deeply,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jaehyun’s brows furrowed, a look of gentle curiosity on his face.
“Scared? Why?”
You sighed, searching for the right words.
“I was afraid I’d hear… parts of you that you’d given to someone else. Your songs comes from a place of real emotion. The way you write, the way you sing—I could tell.” You sighed, searching for the right words. “I didn’t know if I was ready to face how much you loved someone else.”
For a moment, silence filled the space between you, broken only by the soft hum of the record player. Jaehyun looked at you, his expression shifting from surprise to something tender and understanding. He gently placed the LP onto the player, setting the needle down carefully.
“Then let me share it with you now. These songs… it’s a part of my journey, but it doesn’t define where my heart is now,” he said with his gaze soft on you.
He gestured for you to sit on the couch, and you settled in beside him, a comfortable closeness forming as you listened. The gentle strains of his voice surrounded you, and in that moment, you felt the walls between you begin to melt away. With each track, you could feel his heart and effort poured into the music—every beat, every melody felt like a glimpse into parts of him he’d never fully shared before. You found yourself leaning in, absorbed by the rawness in each song.
“How does it feel?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if not to disrupt the music or the moment.
“Feels like I should have listened to it sooner,” forming a smile at your face as you turned to him.
A quiet joy softened his face, and he settled back into the couch, content. The music continued to flow around you both. As the last notes faded, you slowly got up from the couch. Moving over to the record player, you reached down to adjust the LP, prepared to reset it for another play.
Just as you turned around, ready to ask if he wanted to listen again. But when you turned, you found him leaning back against the cushions, his eyes closed, his breathing slow and steady—fast asleep.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of your lips. For all the intensity and energy he had shared with you tonight, he looked peaceful now, almost childlike, as though he’d finally allowed himself to rest. You walked over quietly, taking a seat next to him, your gaze lingering on his sleeping face.
“He must be really tired”, you thought.
In the silence, you found yourself tracing the memories of every little thing he’d done. His thoughtfulness, his attentiveness—it all added up to something deeper, a love that went beyond words. Each one making it harder for you to keep your walls up.
After a while, you entered a room quietly to reach for a blanket, the dim light casting soft shadows over everything. As you looked around, your eyes landed on a small picture frame on the bedside table. The photo was faced down, but on the back, in Jaehyun's familiar handwriting.
Love.
Curiosity tingled in your chest, and with a hesitant hand, you reached out and flipped the photo over. Your breath caught when you saw the image—a Polaroid of you, taken at the day you promised to tell your feelings when you held in his. You remembered the day, the laughter, the way he’d been looking at you just before he snapped the picture. It was one of those moments you didn’t think he’d remember, yet here it was, tucked close to where he rested.
You carefully draped the blanket over him, tucking it around his shoulders. But as you leaned forward, Jaehyun stirred, his eyes fluttering open, a bit disoriented as he took in his surroundings.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to fall asleep—” he mumbled, his voice laced with sleep, eyes blinking up at you.
You remained silent, your emotions laid bare by the tears that still clung to your lashes. His gaze softened as he noticed them, his brow furrowing in quiet concern.
“Are you… okay?” he asked gently, his hand lifting to brushing your arm to comfort.
You closed your eyes briefly, gathering the courage to voice what had been lingering in your mind. When you finally looked at him, your voice was barely a whisper.
“Can I… can I kiss you?”
For a moment, silence filled the room, his expression shifting from surprise to something deeper, something almost vulnerable. He leaned in closer, giving you the answer, the distance between you dissolving until your lips met in a soft, tender kiss—one that seemed to carry everything unsaid between you both.
As you pulled away, he looked at you, his gaze searching.
“What happened?”, his voice barely audible, as if afraid to break the fragile moment between you.
Without a word, you reached into your pocket and pulled out the polaroid you had found in his room. Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly, his breath catching as he realized what you’d found. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came. Instead, he looked at you with a vulnerability he rarely showed, his gaze filled with emotions he had kept hidden.
“You kept this,” you whispered, your voice wavering as you traced the edges of the photo. “All this time… you kept this.”
He nodded, a small, almost shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“I couldn’t let it go,” he admitted softly, fingers brushing over the polaroid. “It reminded me of what I couldn’t say out loud.”
Tears pricked your eyes again, but this time, they were mixed with the warmth of understanding, the realization of how deeply he felt, even if he hadn’t always known how to show it.
Reaching into your bag, you pulled out a polaroid—a picture of Jaehyun. You held it in your hand, feeling its familiar weight. On the back, in your handwriting, was the word Love, mirroring the same word on his photo of you.
Finally, you handed it to him, and Jaehyun’s eyes softened as he realized you had kept this silent connection close. Then, without warning, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. You could feel the steady beat of his heart against your own, his warmth surrounding you like a shield.
“I love you,” he whispered into your hair, his voice filled with a quiet conviction. “I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, to show you.”
The words you had longed to hear settled into the quiet spaces of your heart, filling the emptiness you hadn’t even realized was there.
“I love you too, Jaehyun,” you murmured back, feeling the weight of your shared confessions settle between you like a promise.
With a soft smile, he pulled you closer. His arms hold you securely as you rest against his chest. The room was filled with a comforting silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of his breathing. Gradually, your eyes grew heavy, the exhaustion of the night and the emotional weight finally catching up with you.
With one last glance at each other, you let yourselves drift off, content and safe in each other's arms. For the first time, neither of you felt the need to say anything more—everything had already been said in the way you held each other, two hearts finally at rest.
--
Two years later, you both found yourselves on a long-awaited vacation in Japan, a trip you’d talked about countless times. After Jaehyun’s military service, you were grateful for the time he had before diving back into his schedule. And for you, ever since the break you took during your suspension, you’ve improved tremendously at work. Recognizing the benefit of rest, your company has even begun encouraging employees to take breaks now and then.
Now, riding the train through a breathtaking winter landscape, you both watched in awe as snow blanketed the world outside, each flake catching the soft, wintry light. The quiet rhythm of the tracks provided the perfect backdrop, bringing a sense of peace to all the hard work that had led you here.
You leaned closer to the window, mesmerized by the beauty—the trees dusted with snow, rooftops transformed into sugar-coated sculptures, the whole world cloaked in a serene white glow. It felt like a scene from a dream.
Jaehyun, watching you with a soft smile, felt warmth rise in his chest as he took in your wonderstruck expression. Suddenly, drawn to the moment, he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek. You turned, a little startled, only to find him inches away, his gaze warm and steady.
“That was a surprise,” you laughed, cheeks warming as he smiled back.
"Your just so beautiful", his eyes shining.
The train eventually stopped at a small station, and Jaehyun led you toward a quaint post office nearby. He’d planned this little detour—this spot was known for its “love letter” tradition, where visitors could write and send letters to each other that would arrive years later. Jaehyun handed you a pen and paper, a mischievous glint in his eyes, as he nodded toward a desk set up in the corner.
“Let’s write something for each other,” Jaehyun suggested, he handed you a pen and a fresh sheet of paper, gesturing toward a small desk in the corner.
“Okay, no peeking, alright?” you teased.
Jaehyun smiled, a playful glint flashing across his face. He nodded, giving you space as you sat down at the desk. The pen in your hand felt heavier than it should have as if the words you were about to write were more than just ink on paper.
Both of you wrote in silence, the soft scratch of pens filling the room. You tried to focus on your words, but your mind kept returning to Jaehyun. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you hadn’t yet admitted. But for now, this letter would be the way you could say it without speaking.
When you finished, you folded the paper carefully, sealing your thoughts inside. You watched as Jaehyun did the same. He didn’t look at you, but there was something about the way he held his letter that made your heart race.
He looked up, his eyes meeting yours. The playful energy between you had shifted, replaced by something deeper, something more serious. Without a word, Jaehyun reached out, taking your letter from your hands before handing you his.
"You look serious," you remarked, a soft hint of curiosity in your voice.
For a moment, you stared at the letter in your hands, uncertain, feeling the weight of the moment settle around you. Jaehyun’s voice broke the silence, softer than before, yet filled with an unmistakable certainty.
“I think we both know this is more than just a letter,” he said, his gaze unwavering.
You hesitated for a moment, then gently unfolded the paper. To your surprise, it wasn't the long, elaborate love letter you had expected from him, but a simple, heartfelt message. As you read the words carefully, a deep emotion stirred within you, each sentence carrying more weight than the last, settling in your chest like a promise you never thought you'd receive.
"Y/N, let me love you forever. Marry me"
Your heart stopped as you looked up at him, eyes wide with disbelief. There he was, the man who’d become everything to you, standing before you with all of his heart laid bare in front of you.
Jaehyun slowly took your hand, his other hand still holding his own letter, his voice barely a whisper. “Will you marry me?”
For a moment, the world seemed to stand still. The air around you felt thick with the weight of his words, his quiet question hanging between you like the most fragile thing in the universe. Your heart pounded in your chest, too fast to comprehend, too full to contain.
You stared at him, your breath catching in your throat as you looked into his eyes—those eyes that had been with you through everything, the eyes that had seen you at your best and your worst. And now, they were waiting for you to answer, waiting for you to take that leap with him.
“Yes,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “Yes, Jaehyun. I’ll marry you.”
The words felt like they had been waiting a lifetime to escape your lips, and the moment they did, a wave of warmth and relief washed over you both. Jaehyun’s face lit up with an overwhelming joy, his eyes sparkling, as though a burden he didn’t even realize he’d been carrying had finally been lifted.
Without a word, he pulled you into his arms, holding you close, his embrace tightening as if to make sure you were real, that this was really happening. You felt the steady beat of his heart against yours, and for the first time, everything felt perfectly aligned, as though the world had conspired to bring you both to this very moment.
Jaehyun pulled back just enough to look at you, his hand cupping your cheek tenderly. His voice, soft and full of emotion, slipped from his lips. “I love you. I’ll love you forever, Y/N.”
And as he kissed you, gently and full of promise, you knew that this was only the beginning of the beautiful life you would share together.
-- ˚˖𓍢ִ໋`🌿:✧˚.📷⋆𖧧 --
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justadeadreaper · 4 months ago
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This is part three (and the final part) of what König does before his long deployment. Do not worry; unlike the first part, this is pure fluff. I did have an idea for a bittersweet version and a smutty version, so if you want that, just tell me.
When König returns from his deployment, he has to make it a spectacle. König had decided not to tell you that he was returning home, neglecting to send you any notification that you would soon be reunited and in one another’s arms once more. He wants to see the overwhelming joy on your face when you realise he is here with you and alive.
He sits in the first class seat he booked so no poor souls have to be squished into a seat next to him and because his huge size is uncomfortable due to the virtually non-existent legroom and how he can barely fit into the seat. It may be more pricey, but at this point, he does not give a shit at all, he does not want to interact with any other being except for you, and he knows he will blow up on anyone that slightly annoys him since the adrenaline is still somewhat in his system and the exhaustion has made him irritable. He uses the isolation and the comfort of the bed to think of you, as now you completely fill every crevice of his brain, and even his dream is of you in his arms once he is finally lulled into sleep. But, when he was awake, he thought of what he could do to show you how much he had missed you as he knows that it needs to show how sorry he is for leaving you by yourself for so long. 
His first stop after collecting his luggage and paying off the airport staff to let him bring in his collection of trinkets and not alert the authorities of contraband is his favourite florist. The small shop is tucked into a dodgy alleyway as it acts like a light in the darkness with all the colourful flowers in the window; it is run by a sweet old lady that König had met when he had first moved to the city and always treated him like a son when he came in to buy flowers for his mutter and oma. He trusts her completely as he asks her to make him a bouquet that features your favourite flowers with other flowers that complement their colour and meaning with decorations and decorations that are either plushies or ornaments on sticks that fit the colour theme she is going for. He always pays her an extremely big tip that is enough to cover her expenses for a few months to show his appreciation before he goes to his next destination. Of course, it is your favourite bakery, so he can get you all the sweet or sour treats he knows you like to try and make up for not being there and making you his own treats from all the family memories he has crammed into that oversized head of his. The staff knew him and his order off by heart from the multiple times he had come there to get you baked goods whenever you were craving them, feeling sad, or the two of you had argued, and he needed a way to show he was sad and sorry for your fight and what he had done. By the time he got to the counter to pay, they already had his order summed up and ready to pay, as half of it was already put into the bag.
With his collection complete he finally takes the journey back home to your cabin to see and touch you again. He does not bother to knock as his arms are filled with bags of gifts, and he quickly scrambles with his keys to unlock the door and get inside. Would he prefer to shower or pass out right out on top of you from exhaustion? Yes. But seeing your face at his return is the only thing spurring him on to last for a few hours at least. 
Your face is something that he can not describe with the raw emotions on your face but it is something he would willingly give up all the treasures in the world to see again with how it makes him feel so loved and happy. He tries to quickly put everything down without damaging anything so you can run into his open arms, and he can wrap his arms around your frame to give you the tightest bear hug known to man. König keeps you there for a good few minutes to bask in your scent and touch that he has so dearly missed. Once the two of you part for a few minutes to catch your breaths, he is already dragging you to the couch so he can sit down with you and gift you anything he brought back. If there are any living animals, he will obviously give them to you first, whether it be a toad that he stopped his colleagues from turning into target practice or a small orange cat that dared to hiss and climb up his leg to attack when he was scouting a village that had just been raided or something entirely different that he somehow snuggled back without being bitten to shit. Then he will take out all the trinkets, from the souvenirs to the grim, for you to look over and decide on what you will do with them as he asks you to tell him everything you have done in his time gone and how much you have missed him. He loves hearing your voice as you detail every single event from the minuscule to the major that has happened without him by your side; he may be upset that he missed everything, but the way you recount it is enough for him as with your voice it is enough for him to feel like he is there with you. He asks you to admire and tell him what you will do with the trinkets as he goes into the kitchen to make you some of his homemade hot chocolate (the use of the different types of milk and chocolate make it so decedent and sweet in just the right way when paired with the homemade cream, whipped cream, and marshmallows) while he continues to listen to you ramble about his gift like honey to his ears. Once you have your drink to eat with your treats, he forces you to lie down on the couch so he can lie on top of your chest with his head above your heart to listen to the drum of your heart as if it was a soothing lullaby. König keeps his arms tightly wrapped around you as your hands move to stroke them through the stands of his hair and massage his scalp a bit, just hearing you talk and being wrapped in your touch is enough to lull him asleep as he is finally at peace and happy.
The next day, you wake up to him gone, and once you adventure to the kitchen, you find him making bunny and heart-shaped pancakes with berries, ice cream, and syrup that he uses to give the pancakes details. When you try to sit down at the table that now hosts the flowers from yesterday in an ornate vase, he reprimands you and forces you to go upstairs and into your bed so that he can serve you breakfast in bed and cuddle you as you eat like a clingy puppy whose owner has been gone for a few days on a business trip. With your morning filled with cuddles, he drags you into the shower so that you can shower together, but also so he can have your hands massage the soap into his body to clean him while getting rid of the pesky knots that never seemed to go when he massaged himself. Of course, he also has to wash you in return and have his hands all over your body and have a few cheeky squeezes. When you are both clean and dressed, he insists that the two of you must go out for the day as a date and that you can go anywhere you want and buy as much as you want with the bonus he got for doing such an effective job on the mission. Even if he is sore and achy and should most definitely be staying home for the day he insists he is fine to go out until you agree with him and let him take you out for the whole day.
Once you are back home, he says a small white lie about how he forgot to get some produce that he needed tomorrow for when he did his meal prep for his workouts; with him in his rough state, it is obvious that you offer to go out to a local village or town to get whatever he needs. König agrees, knowing it would take an hour or two at least, which is enough time to enact his plan. With you off to get whatever he bullshitted and said he needed, he gets out all the vegetables and meat he had prepared earlier before he started making your breakfast so he would have them ready for tonight. He starts cooking one of your favourite dishes while he sets up the table with your favourite candles and cutlery to try and make a candle-lit dinner to be proud of; he pulls out everything he has, from fairy lights to fake vines to set the mood just right for when you get back. By the time you return with what he sent you out for, the table is set with the food served, and he is sitting there ready as a König-made version of your favourite meal ready on the plate for you with a glass of your favourite alcohol. He talks to you through your whole home date as you are filled with the absolutely delicious dish and you have to stop yourself from jumping at him to kiss him to death from thankfulness. Now that the night is over and both of you are full he carries you upstairs to your bedroom and helps you undress to just your skin before you both slip into the bed and fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.
König is filled with true happiness and love now that he is with his beloved once more and the pit of anxiety has been replaced by relief as he thought you would have moved on and fallen out of love with him in his time gone. If he could, he would stay in this moment for the rest of eternity as he stays in your arms in complete bliss that only you and being together can bring him; he just prays he never has to go on a long deployment again and can stay right by your side for the rest of eternity with your love and the happiness it brings him.
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alwaysmoncheri · 6 months ago
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𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈 | 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤
summary: your parents set up an arranged marriage with regulus black and you make an attempt to keep it a secret for as long as possible. through it all, regulus is there for you in a way you wouldn’t ever had thought possible.
cw: fem!reader, arranged marriage, walburga black, angst, comfort,
<3
July 17th, 1977
Following your fifth year attending Hogwarts greater tensions arose between pure-blood families throughout the entirety of the wizarding world. Previously, tensions had already existed between those who supported the joining of the dark lord's forces and those who sought to protect their children from his reign. Your loyalties lie with the latter but your parent's do not, so you keep silent.
The day of your sixteenth birthday your father informed you of his plan to marry you off. The news came to you as a surprise, but not because you didn't believe your parents would do such a thing but rather because it was truly unexpected. Initially, you didn't know how to handle the news and it only became more difficult to understand when your father told you that you would be betrothed to the youngest Black brother, Regulus.
You're a Gryffindor from a line of Slytherin purebloods. You're not surprised by the fact that you're being engaged to a Slytherin but you never would have thought it would be to Sirius's brother. You suppose your parents want someone to keep you in line and according to them, Regulus is perfect for that.
You aren't aware of the complex history and values of the Black family but you aren't naive. You notice the way Sirius and Regulus carry themselves at Hogwarts. From an exterior perspective they are very different. Sirius flaunts his rebellion and appears arrogant while Regulus suffers quietly but much more noticeably. So, from an interior perspective the brothers are very much the same and it's most likely a result of their relationship with their family which is known for being supportive of the dark lord.
The last thing you want is to marry into the house of Black. But you also have no other choice and your father has made his decision on that very clear. He said it was the best decision for your future and the future of the family. (Probably more so the future of the family, he never usually had your best interests at heart). So as soon as your father came in contact with the Blacks they were more than happy to offer up Regulus.
And that is how you find yourself sitting in the drawing room of 12 Grimmauld Place, silent and sat up straight, attempting to tune out the discussion the adults are having on behalf of you and Regulus. Soon to be husband and wife. You cant even imagine yourself as a wife, tending to the home and children. Merlin, you weren't ready for that and you can't even apparate yet let alone hold all the burdens of being a wife. Besides, you have always believed in the notion for marrying for love. Unfortunately, that dream is being cut short by your betrothal to Regulus.
12 Grimmauld Place is cold, all the furniture made of near-black wood and the textiles heavy. Ornate candelabras light the room, although it still has the distinct feeling of overall darkness. The fireplace isn't lit, though it would probably do a lot in the way of comfort. The old piano, shrouded in cobwebs, disguising its elegance, is playing itself, surely enchanted in order to keep your and Regulus's ears distracted from the conversation your parents are having. You and your father are seated on a black couch with an abstract gold print across from Orion and Walburga, seated on an identical couch. Regulus is on a bench in front of the piano eyes glued to the floor. He hasn't even looked at you.
Entirely reassuring.
You on the other hand can't stop sneaking glances at him. He's a good-looking boy, you'll give him that. And it's not as though you never saw him at Hogwarts but you never payed attention to him until now. His features differ from Sirius's but he still exudes that obvious, easy charm and a certain haughty look that they share.
Regulus was just a bit thinner, just a bit shorter. Still with the dark and curly locks, but not as long as Sirius's. His eyes are dark and situated under heavy brows. You get the impression he doesn't know how to do anything but brood, although perhaps that's because it's all you've seen him do. There's a beautiful angularity to his face, reminiscent of a statue. You don't like the idea of him looking at you with those eyes. You know there's no way he could find you nearly as attractive as you find him.
Regulus must've heard your thoughts because before you can tear your gaze away, he looks up, eyes meeting yours.
"(Y/N)?" Your head whips around at your father's voice. He and the Blacks are looking at you.
"Yes, father?"
"You and Regulus are excused while we continue our discussion." His eyebrows raise in a look that means: behave so I can marry you off.
Regulus stands and you follow him out of the room, unknowing of what to say once you've left. The silence feels so loud as neither of you speak and you hope this is not the rhythm you fall into once you've officially married.
The hallways are dusty and suffocating from the sheer amount of unkept vintage furniture lining the floor. Your gaze wanders aimlessly, a reckless move on your behalf, the eerie atmosphere leaving a lingering feeling of despair within your chest. You dread the day you have to move into this wretched house.
At the staircase, Regulus abruptly stops causing you to step on his heels. He turns around and you mumble out a quick apology. His face still betrays no emotion much to your unease.
"Would you like me to show you to my room?" He asks. His voice is different from what you expected. There's a hint of sadness, melancholy hidden beneath his pride. It doesn't take a genius to hear it but it makes you wonder if he's allowing you to.
"I suppose I don't have much of a choice?"
Regulus shakes his head and sends you an almost sympathetic look, as if saying: you have no idea what you're getting into. And truthfully, you don't.
His room is a whole four stories up. The climb is manageable but not entirely enjoyable. You try to keep your breathing level but your curiosity keeps you occupied. You scan the walls mostly made up of portraits, presumably members of their family line. Each exudes a contrasting level of emotion, some were troubling, nightmares of a certain kind, while others carry sorrow heavy on their faces. It was unnerving, this is the family you are to be married into. Soon you'll have your own portrait on the wall.
At the top of the flight are only two doors. Regulus walks in the direction of the one of the left. You pause.
"Is this other room Sirius's?" Regulus turns and for the first time, his expressionless eyes sadden, mirroring the sound of his voice.
"It was."
You close your curious mouth, not meaning to pry, but there's a version of the story that you don't yet know and you intend to find out eventually.
As you approach Regulus's door, you see he's hung a sign. It says: Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black. He enters, but you hang back in the doorway for a moment, lost in a thought.
Your mind reels at the thought of being one of the select few granted access to his room. But the reality of the situation renters your mind and you take a hesitant step forward, feeling the weight of the arrangement pressing down on your shoulders.
Regulus turns, sensing your hesitation and for the first time the ice of his face cracks, and he smiles faintly, "You can come in. Just close the door behind you."
He sits on the only chair in the room, leaving you to awkwardly seat yourself on the edge of his bed. As you pretend to examine his room you can feel the fullness of his gaze. He looks at you now that you're alone and you think he is seeing too much. He can see that you're not the girl he'd marry if he could choose. He sees why your parents think you need controlling, to be steered away from your friendship with his disowned brother and the rest of the Gryffindor house. He can see that you are afraid. His room is surprisingly small, and you can't imagine you are more than three feet from one another.
"So," you break the silence, "Do you think I'll have to live here?"
His eyebrows raise as if he already knows the answer to your question, but his face quickly returns to normalcy. His parents probably told him to be on his best behavior.
"My parents seem to expect you to. It's what a wife does, I suppose."
You nod, making an attempt to pick your brain for something else to say. You can't find anything and silence once again houses itself in the air between you.
"It's not a good idea." He's angry again. Or at least, he looks the way he did when you first stepped foot in this house. Maybe angry is the wrong word. He looks closed off, impenetrable. Maybe angry, too.
"What?"
"You coming to live here. Us getting married. It's not a good idea." Finally, he looks away from you, focusing instead on a nonexistent point to your right, "You don't deserve to be dragged into this."
You can't mask your shock. The sincerity in his voice is the most you've ever heard from him. You want to believe your father in assuring you this is the right thing, but Regulus's tone makes you wonder if he is telling you the truth. Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
"Dragged into what?" You pry, curiosity besting your manners.
"You do realize which side of the war you now stand with, right?"
You breathe in and hold it for as long as you can. The silence lingers like dust that's taking too long to settle. You're not surprised to feel a knot of terror lodged in your throat.
"Toujours Pur." Your gaze snaps to Regulus whose eyes are directed towards the family crest above his bed, "Always pure. That's what you're getting into. I hope you know what that entails."
Regulus watches closely as you open and close your mouth, unknowing of what the respond with. You've thought about the fact that you're now on the side of the dark lord but you find your mind circling with more worries when the truth is said aloud.
"And I don't know what your father said to convince my parents to allow you, a Gryffindor, to marry me but they won't let anyone know." Regulus sighs, he doesn't mean to come off as rude but you have every right to know everything about the situation, "You'll have to learn how to be one of us."
Your eyebrows furrow and you fight the urge to stand but the space is far too small for you to without being too close.
"I don't know who you think I am but I assure you, I know exactly how to be one of you." You point out, your voice sharp with defiance, yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability, "My parents are just like yours so don't assume that I don't know what it's like."
Your eyes are fixed firmly on Regulus as he remains silent. The tension in the room is palpable, the air crackling with unspoken words and unmet expectations.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Regulus shifts his weight, his gaze flickering momentarily away before returning to meet yours. Without a word, he moves closer, his steps deliberate yet hesitant, until he's seated on the edge of the bed beside you. The sudden proximity sends a shiver down your spine, a mixture of apprehension and curiosity toward his actions.
"I'm only trying to help." Regulus admits softly, his voice barely above a whisper, before retreating once more into his stoic demeanor, "But you shouldn't assume this will be any better for you."
Your shoulders sag with the weight of his words, a heavy sigh escaping your lips as you struggle to find the right response. "It might," you murmur, your voice tinged with hope. "In a year, we can leave here."
Regulus's gaze softens slightly, a fleeting glimpse of understanding passing through his eyes before they harden once more. "You're missing a chance to be happy," he offers, the hint of regret hidden in his tone.
A bitter laugh escapes you as you shake your head, the weight of your circumstances pressing down on you like a leaden blanket, "I don't have any other choice."
Regulus's hand finds yours for a moment before his door flies open, clearly without regard for the sign, and your hands fly apart. And there stand your parents.
"Oh lovely," Walburga begins, "They're already getting on."
"(Y/n), you'll be moving in with the Black's, effective tomorrow." Your father explains and under the intense gaze of Walburga you flinch. It doesn't go unnoticed by her or Regulus, "You can pack your bags tonight. Understood?"
"Yes, father, I understand."
Your parents exit the room but Walburga lingers and her icy gaze turns to Regulus, "Our guest will be staying in here, with you," Walburga pauses, eyes narrowing in your direction, "She's your responsibility now."
<3
masterlist . regulus black masterlist . taglist
thank you for reading, my darling! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily! send requests to my inbox!
alwaysmoncheri © ─ all rights reserved. please do not repost/translate/copy any of my work.
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bloodyshadow1 · 4 months ago
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downfall paints Deanna's conversation with Pelor in a different light to me now. It seems like he lashes out when she asks if he's worth saving. Obviously it would piss off anyone much less a powerful god like Pelor.
But now that we watched Downfall, the answer to him would be yes, because everyone deserves to be saved. The gods fail Aeor, I'm not denying that, but despite all of that, they tried to find another way. Things broke bad, some their fault some outside of their control in their mortal forms, but they tried so hard.
And He still loves the betrayer gods, and part of him knows that they still love the primes. Asmodeus for all the havoc he wrought couldn't stand to be in the same room as Pelor because he wouldn't be able to lie anymore about how much he 'hates' them.
Because even if it damages the world, Pelor and the other Primes love their betrayer siblings. They want nothing more than to save them and be a happy family again, but they won't sacrifice the world of mortals to do so.
yes, they'll put their siblings existence over the rest of the world, they're willing to destroy a city to keep them from killing the other gods they've been fighting for a century. But Pelor will still try to save everyone, even if he fails
The gods aren't perfect by any means, but despite what Ludinus thinks and proclaims, they aren't heartless being of pure power standing above everyone else. The reason for the divine gate is they realized they were just as culpible in the destruction of Aeor and the rest of Exandria and chose to leave to protect their children from them and their family.
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the-lazyyy-artist · 6 days ago
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Pairing: Michael Kaiser x GN!Reader Synopsis: Kaiser realizes that to love an imperfect person wasn't so bad after all... you loved him as he was, so why would he think otherwise? Themes: Slightly OOC, established relationship, the reader is a student, Kaiser letting go of his ego for once, imperfect x imperfect = real love (at least, this is what Kaiser thinks), a breakdown and some comfort Author's Note: First gender-neutral reader fic! Woohoo! Also, Ariana Grande's imperfect for you is a freaking masterpiece, I needed to write this down as soon as I started hallucinating aka my imagination kicked in.
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He swayed you so gently in his arms. The two of you finally calmed down after your breakdown in the kitchen about work, your studies, and how you feel like your life is out of control. Instead of berating you for quitting your job and focusing on your studies because he can take care of you, Kaiser decided to listen, hushing your cries and kissing your wet cheeks, telling you he's there for you.
If someone told him about your relationship two years ago, he might've laughed. Why would he give up his ego and let himself be so passionate for someone like you, he'd say. But at this moment, he's glad he never thought of that. It felt like everything in the world shifted when he admitted his love for you, and you for him.
For those wonderful years of loving each other, discovering the issues and trauma, the unhealed wounds and the ever-present scars of the past and present, and being each other's comfort in times when everything was spiraling, he'd say that it was a lovely disaster. Disaster in a way that two broken people found solace in the embrace of the other, how the sound of his beating heart lulled you into a blissful peace, how your hands would ease the tension of his recurring memories of the past, how everything in your eyes made him believe that real love exists because you embraced him for who he is.
In return, he let himself love you. It hurts his ego, sure, but loving you was the best decision he's made. To love a beautiful, kind, amazing person like you. How lucky was he in his miserable life to finally see light?
Imperfect. That's one word he describes you.
He never viewed it as a bad thing. He knew you were human. You were a perfect mixture of everything so pure for this world and the darkness that you hide behind your smile. He loved everything about you, and because of that love, you taught him to love himself, too.
At this moment, he wants to shield you from the harshness of life that dragged you.
He swayed you gently, letting you feel his presence.
And deep down, he knew you were thankful for him too.
To love each other in a way you both need to, that was enough.
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sharksupermacy · 1 year ago
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sweet love
sweet love-mina x 10th member! reader
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synopsis: you love mina genre: fluff, cute little date, a 3DS????, making myself feel single
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you love mina.
a statement you would stay by forever. even though the inventible might happen with her as such almost every such relationship hits you have come to exist to be happy with the now.
despite not being able to proudly claim that you were in a relationship with mina due to the stigma of two people in the same group. you were always able to show affection through gestures and hints when you were both together. linger touches far and definitely not few, giving random objects to each other, and missing items from each other closets???
safe to say miny/n stans were fed well almost 1000% of the time. even your members who supported you and mina relationship couldn't take the constant back hugging and hand-holding. all gagging (jokingly) at how much love you had for one another.
both yours and her favorite things to do with each other is to snuggle up and play a random game together. it didn't matter to either you or her that the game was well made or just really bad as long as you could both play it together.
this led to both of you agreeing to play the classic game Pokémon X and Y together on one 3DS in bed. It was nice mina back hugging you as you both booted up the screen together. you held the game in your hands as mina wraps her arms around your neck and kisses you on the cheek. both of you silently agreed you would trade anything in the world for another moment just like this.
you could hear the room almost in complete silence as a nice cozy feeling settled over the both of you in dim lighting. in the room over you could hear your members screaming playing mariokart on the switch you had just bought a month ago.
she silently watched as she saw you getting excited over the game letting the warm feeling take her over. with you playing a game as she felt just pure happiness in the moment.
"i love you," is what you said that broke the silence of the game and the quiet(ish) dorm. you tilted your head as you received no response back from the penguin. you were met with a passed-out mina from exhaustion from the schedule all of you had today.
you smiled as you got up from your place as silently as possible. saving the game progress so far, and turning off the lights in the room. smiling quietly at how much you loved her while putting the 3DS down on the drawer across the room. looking at the faint outlines of all the souvenirs, and memories you and her had made over the entire relationship.
"y/n where are you-" was slurred out from across the bedroom as you smiled to yourself more. (liking how mina called out for you.) "coming," was the word you replied back with as you made your way over bed. crashing into mina arms as both of you giggled at your antics. both of you laying in each other arms, as sleep washes over you.
"i love you," is the words that you had said to her as you felt yourself drifting off into dreamland.
a small fleeting response was said by the other, "i love you too." as both of you cuddled closer peacefully sleeping. realizing it didn't matter if you and mina had fights or even broke up in the future. you were content with just peacefully loving her in the present.
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chaeyoung pov:
I was just entertaining chat where they brought up that they hadn’t seen mina and y/n in a while. I thought huh I haven’t either. “let’s go see them, shall we,” as I snatched the camera when the others were distracted by the rage-inducing game mariokart.
I made my way down the messy dorm hallway and stopped in front of the couple's door. knocked on the white door twice before calling out to the gamer couple if they were awake. no response. i knocked again and cracked open the door. where i was met a very snuggly penguin and y/n. “ew,’” I said while the camera faced me as. I turned the camera toward the love birds for a second as the comments went crazy.
twiceslaying: miny/n???? besties?????
hyofuturewife: MINY/N FTW!!! 
momodancemachine: MINY/N NATION WAKE UP! WE’VE BEEN FED AGAIN!!!!
I smiled at the comments of support as I closed the door behind me. making my way back down the hallway again lovingly complaining about how I have to put up with these two every day.
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safe to say both you, mina, and miny/n was trending the next morning.
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a/n: been a little bit a lot dead for the pass week or so but good news smau preps all finished! bro.. actually why is either way so good-(AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH)
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The Joker(s) And The Queen
Masterlist
Warning: I write the Reader as female
Pairing: Ace x Reader x Deuce
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And I know you could fall for a thousand kings
And hearts that would give you a diamond ring
When I fold, you see the best in me
The joker and the queen
- Ed Sheeran, The Joker and the Queen
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They are card soldiers and the duty of a card soldier is to serve his queen - but how could they be asked to do that when they’ve already sworn their devout and unyielding loyalty to you? 
If there was one thing that Ace and Deuce could agree on was that you were the best thing that’s ever happened to them. The otherworldly prefect who entered their lives in a blaze of glory.
It wasn’t no one’s fault that you can both brighten and lighten any room you entered, at how all eyes would immediately turn to you. You were someone whose very existence demanded to be awed and admired and praised. And as much as they were more than willing to do all of the above, they knew that they weren’t the only ones.
They would be fools to ignore how beloved you are by the student body, how you have every single student wrapped around your little finger, how despite not possessing a lick of magic in your body, you had become the most powerful being in school with the way you have the rich, famous and mighty treating you as if you were the reason the sun rose in the morning and set at night. It was clear that you were the object of desire of many - and for good reason. Despite your limitations, you were a pillar of strength, boldly facing every adversity that this twisted school threw at you. Your kind nature saving not only the overblotees but also many other students from a dark and tragic fate. Even with no magical abilities you’ve achieved the impossible and they knew that your circle of friends, which at first were only them, Grim and the Ramshackle ghosts, would only continue to grow and grow as more and more of their peers become aware of just how awe-inspiring you are and they are left to wither away in the shadows, left on the cold and dark sidelines to watch as you get pursued by people who are more worthy to bask in your light.
To say that someone like you is a rarity would be an understatement. In this school of villains, of conmen and crooks, tyrants and thieves, of dark beasts that would claw their way to the top through any means necessary, that would lie and stab to achieve their goals, someone as pure and angelic as you was simply unheard of. A celestial beauty so ethereal that even wild animals and woodland creatures are in reverence of you. Your existence was a siren’s call, and like moths to a flame, they are all ready to drown themselves if it meant they could take even a step closer to you.
You have princes, celebrities, men so wealthy that they could buy you an island and consider it pocket money, all ready to give you a life that even fairytale characters could only dream of. You have people with power who could give you anything you desire: titles, crowns, sceptres, the stars and moon. You had the literal world at your fingers and the ability to do whatever you wanted yet- 
Yet you chose them. The objects of your coveted affections, the ones who hold the honour of receiving your tender love and unconditional care, the ones who are blessed with the privilege of calling you theirs - are them. The two foolhardy, act-first-think-second boys who you had to save from expulsion on their first day.
It’s Ace’s eyes you meet from the bleachers of the gymnasium during a basketball match. It’s his name that you’re screaming, cheering and wearing - the bold, block-lettered ‘TRAPPOLA’ on the back of your jersey making it clear just who it is you came there to see. And if there were any fools that weren’t so sure, the breathtaking kiss he plants on your lips after he jogs over to your front row seat in the stands should seal the deal, especially when you reciprocate with fervent enthusiasm.
It’s Deuce’s jacket you wear when you run errands, the oversized black leather that once symbolised physical proof of his shameful past now proudly engulfs your shoulders, the silver ‘Spade’ as clear as day. It’s Deuce who you meet with at the end of his track and field club, it’s his tie that you elegantly loop around his neck and expertly loop into a windsor knot before tugging him towards you and pressing his lips against yours.
It’s them who you open up to, who you let your walls down and tears fall, who you allow to embrace you in your darker moments. It’s them who you run to in your times of joy, who you hug and kiss in elation, not caring who might be watching. It’s them that you praise, that you brag about to others. It’s them who has your full attention. It’s their hands that you hold. It’s them that you invite to Ramshackle and who you snuggle up against late at night.
They showed you the worst of them, from the first day they met you it was clear that they were nothing but trouble: a brash class clown and a violent former gangster yet with all of that, with all the trouble they’ve given you and continue to give you, you still chose them.
Every single day, you choose them. You take their weaknesses and polish them into strengths. You always see the best in them, despite the many instances where you would’ve been well within your right to not. Instead of letting them drag you down, you brought them up, lifting them into the pedestal that was your love. You support them wholeheartedly, in their dreams, passions and pursuits. Never once do you listen to the whispers of others, the ones that call them no-good, tactless mischief makers who would only bring you trouble - instead you’re the one who defends them, who is more than ready to defend them in a blink of an eye.
They know that you’re too good for them, that their reputation is rightfully deserved but please continue to indulge them. Like you are now, with your blissfully sleeping body sandwiched between them, happily snug inside both of their embraces, let them continue to worship you, to covet you like the beloved Majesty you are. Let them continue to hear the words you sleepily whispered to them before you sailed away into the silver mist of your dreams.
“I love you boys”
A card soldier lives to serve his queen so please continue to choose them. They’ll be sure to spend every breath in this life and the next, swearing their hearts, bodies and souls to you in eternal servitude. 
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“What do you see in them?” A Pomefiore first year asks you as the two boys are once again being scolded by a teacher for unruly behaviour during class.
You gaze lovingly at your boyfriends, the two that you know without question would stand by your side - the ones that have always stood by your side, since the very beginning - and all you can see is their courage, their loyalty, the fact that no matter how scared you become in this strange, magical new world you know that you have no reason to fear anything if you have those two. 
The only possible answer you can give to your classmate is, “my future.”
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How was I to know?
It's a crazy thing
I showed you my hand
And you still let me win
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rakiah · 3 months ago
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Musing on Leovil as I was rewatching the classic Snow White and a thought struck me: out of all 3, Vil is only one who actually understands what love is. The Evil Queen/Grimhilde outright dismisses it as non-existant while Snow White naively falls in love with the first handsome face that comes up. Meanwhile it took time for Vil to fall for Leona and understands that staying in love requires effort.
So a little drabble came to mind:
Fools, the lot of them. Despite not being related by blood, they were similar in their misbegotten conceptions of love.
His mentor, though wiser than him a thousand other subjects, belives that true love is simply doesn't exist. That any form love takes is meaningless and easy to erase. Grimhilde sees love as something that weakens, something that leaves one open to manipulation and defeat.
His mentor's enemy, though he himself has no real qualms with her, belives true love to be a pure thing. Something that can conquer all and leave naught but sunshine and rainbows in its wake. Snow White sees love as the ultimate goodness, something that is inheritly of light and not possible amongst the dark.
Fools, both of them.
Vil knows quite well what love is. It is time, patience, understanding, maturity, and dedication. Falling in love is random, but staying in love requires constant effort. Love was neither good nor evil, simply a feeling to be felt by people. The only thing Snow got right was that love could indead conquer. It could empower someone to commit the bravest of acts or the worst of atrocities for the sake of others. Vil would know. Had you asked him before, he would have said that murder was excessive and a mere waste of resources that carried far too much risk. Now he wouldn't hesitate to plunge a blade into the throat of another if it meant Leona could smile again. He didn't hesitate to poison all those statesmen that tried to have Leona shipped off to some desperate princess on the corner of the world. On that note, Leona also didn't hesitate to reciprocate when he had a fair share of Vil's rivals mauled by those hyenas.
Love is not pure, Vil muses. It's rather intense. After all, those nights spent together had never been pure. Though it did grow into love.
And even now, as Vil listens to his mentor go on with her advice to never love another if he wishes to remain strong, Vil can subtly feel the fruit of Leona's reciprocation growing inside of him. Twins, if the oracle was correct.
He can't help but smile, knowing that Snow White and Grimhilde would both be as red as Riddle if they new. The former embaressed and the latter enraged. He could see it now, his dear mentor marching all the way down to the Savanna just to yell at Scar for his "failure as a royal mentor" and just poison Leona right then and there.
Well, Vil had been pondering how to tell Leona he was going to be a father and the cat had been a bit too smug for his own good recently. But then again, he doesn't want to be a single parent.
Decisions, decisions.
Terrible overdue answer, I’m so sorry for the delay! 💦 I struggled a lot to find something to doodle with your gorgeous text because I really wanted to. And people need to read those great lines! Sorry for making you wait and thank you so much for sharing this! I love it! 🙏
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So Evil Queen Vil will be.
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shippyo · 6 months ago
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Question for life: What’s your relationship with Morpho?
[this ask will have my own lore related to Morpho hope ya all enjoy💖]
also,i think [this] soundtrack might fit🩷
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Morpho...Yes, she is very special to me, she is my daughter, the first of all, I reborn her myself with my own hands,lemme tell you the story...
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Before long,long ago in immemorial times, far from when it all began but close to the dawn of it, Morpho was another and a completely different being, a young girl from a world that feels lost even in my memory,that, somehow in a way that I have never known,fell to my dimension, wounded, confused, with living tears.
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I remember that being when asked who I was and after I explained myself she told me
"Why have you been so cruel to me?"
That paralyzed me,i..i been cruel,it was the first i realized such thing that my whole existence is contradiction,i bring wonders yet suffering to all living beings,even if im not able to control what happens.
That poor being cried for every terrible misfortune that occurred in her life, abuse, wars, the fall of her world, she was still alive, of course, but she begged me not to return, not even to go to the afterlife and rest in peace, no, the pain that her tears brought was so breaking that she wanted to disappear from existence itself.
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Obviously it's not something I wasn't going to do, I COULDN'T even if I can do it, it was unfair, it wasn't her fault that her life went so miserable to such disgrace thought in her mind came into it with no return to change it,she was lost, in exchange, I asked her permission to not go to such path, but rather be something new and somehow,she accepted, thinking that would end all.
In all honesty, at that moment I was not clear about the extent of my power, I knew that I had it and that I could do something outside of normal understanding for others but that pulse in me screamed for act different and so, I grabbed her face and my hands shone with intense light.
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Without realizing it, the body disappeared when my palms closed, I felt fear for the first time thinking i destroyed her being, but I suddenly felt the flutter of a butterfly.
When I opened my hand, that butterfly that you all know so much came out and it didn't take long to complete its own metamorphosis as a new being.
The being before Morpho had disappeared, my power had a price to pay, in a way.
I don't know the reason but all those who are reborn from my hands forget in a certain way their old being, not as if it had never existed, they are not unconscious of what they experienced, but their souls feel pure,different and determined in wanting to defend life in being a new them, I feel them as an extension of me and they are condemned to a strange line where they cannot die for being so tied to me and yet even if she knew this she...
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Looked at me happy, with a passion for living on her face that was not there before and thanked me for what I had done, although she felt sadness for her former self and her past,she now understood how beautiful it was to be there.
From there she named herself, "Morpho" and she felt indebted to me, although I did not want to,she insisted that to fight for me, defend, be the judge of beings of all those infinite dimensions, save others like who she was before, I do not like to feel that Im using her because I accepted her like some short of puppet, but even so, she has always seemed happy since then to serve me as a knight of life.
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From then on, I was her mother and hundreds, billions like Morpho today are part of this family and I love them all equally.
Although...sometimes I wonder if I could use my power to reverse that strange "immortality" that ties them to me, I wish they could continue happy as they are now, but return to the mortality of life so that they finish their true cycle and not be attached to such tasks..I know I can and maybe one day I will have the courage to do it for the first time.
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@kirbyoctournament
learn more of life lore [here!]
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mytypeismohg · 23 days ago
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Miquella stuff is happening again! As I posted before, Miquella is not a "Mwahahaha I will kill you all!" type of character. He is hurt and deluded, believing he is the only one with the "correct" vision of how things should be.
"Kindly Miquella... I see you've thrown away... Something you should not have. Under any circumstances. How will you salvation offer...to those who cannot be saved? When you could not even save your other self?"
From the Light of Miquella incantation:
"The strength of Miquella upon his deific return, wielded as an incantation.Annihilates foes with a pillar of light.Miquella sought to accept all that was and would be, but found one that refused to be embraced.No wonder, as one god, and one king consort, is all the world needs."
That is his answer. To those who "cannot be saved", those who refuse to bow to his will and align themselves with his beliefs. To annihilate them from existence. He believes one more bout of violence, from himself, will end the cycle of violence. He wants to live in a perfect, unrealistic world that can never be. He most likely will turn his back on the others who were freed after he shattered his Great Rune, in fact he will. Leda is the only one willing to be subservient to him out of her free will. If you cannot be charmed, you will not bow, he has no use for you. And no, I am not saying he is some sadistic maniac or anything, but he is NOT pure or truly kind. Honestly, how could he be? He tries to be, but none of the demigods are, not even the main Tarnished themself is. Miquella doesn't WANT to cause harm, but he does. He doesn't want to abuse or leave behind others, but he does. Because he doesn't know what else to do and he is desperate for change, and sees himself as the only person worthy of leading that change. As I said in another post, he is the same as a "necessary evil" person that is so tired of the crap that happens in reality they believe they should force change (or just believe it doesn't exist in some cases), but eventually just becomes a perpetrator of harm themselves. Miquella genuinely doesn't think his actions are wrong. He believes his charm is a blessing.
As for Mohg, he is suffering the same. He is so desperate for change that he becomes a blood thirsty (almost literally) maniac, albeit charming in his own way. His methods are far more noticeably brutal and violent, so there is little room to justify his actions, but it is the result of the same thing. He is hurt and simply wants to alter the way reality is, and he believes the world under the control of the Formless Mother is far better than what it is. Keep in mind that, unless Miquella for some reason exclusively removed all of Mohg's personality exclusively, under the charm targets still have many of their organic personality traits. The entire thing about "love", most likely is a core part of Mohg’s true self. Mohg wants love too, but he cannot experience it in the world he lives in. Neither could Miquella, not without "compelling" that love towards himself forcefully. Everyone is suffering. Neither Mohg nor Miquella are "good". Both of them are in pain, and they want that pain to stop. That's the worst curse that all the demigods suffered, being unloved (or scarcely loved) and living in an unloving world.
Slightly irrelevant but, there was quite a lot of cut DLC content involving Miquella, possibly including another ending! 😭
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narrans · 2 months ago
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A Small and Tall Collection | Chapter One | Snow Place Like Home
Winters are an unforgiving time, northern winters especially. Trees and vegetation are few and far between. Snow is thick and deep. When those delicate flakes begin to melt on one of those few warm days where the wind doesn’t pass right through your body, they create a sheet of slick ice which hides beneath the unassuming snow.
Any time spent outside could spell absolute disaster, but there were few options at this point - especially for her.
Ashlynn, pack on her back and desperation in her heart, had decided to brave the great outdoors out of pure necessity. Too many things were wrong that venturing into the frostbitten conditions outside of the safety of her home seemed like a better alternative.
As a Borrower, no one ever took moving lightly. It was a dangerous thing to attempt, especially because standing at a proud five inches flat made the world that much bigger. Everything - roots, bugs, animals, plants - could prove an impossible obstacle. Still, she had made the decision. There was no going back. How could she?
The thought of being captured and confirming whether or not she’d been seen was not on the agenda for today or any day in her future. There were other things too, but that was the last thing on her mind at the moment. Right now, there were higher priorities on her ever-growing laundry list to accomplish.
First and foremost? Finding shelter - a proper one.
As she pried her eyes open, the edges feeling as though they were covered in a light frost from the morning, she knew that colder weather was on the horizon and there was no chance she’d survive another night like the one before. Sleep tugged at her lids, begging her to return to the bliss of unconsciousness. It was a luxury she couldn’t afford. What little warmth existed between the blankets she’d managed to haul along with her weren’t going to be enough.
Even now, she could feel how her body shivered and ached as the cold seeped in through the most miniscule of gaps between her and the blankets around her. She dared not stretch, even though she desperately wanted to, in fear that the blankets had shifted in a way for her to break that precious seal between her and the cold followed by plunging her feet into the snow.
Waiting wouldn’t do any good.
It felt good to procrastinate the immense tasks set forth today, but it wouldn’t help her. Every moment she lingered in the coveted heat she’d created would only spell trouble later, especially if she didn’t find a suitable home by the time night set in.
Every scrap of clothing she owned already on her body, Ashlynn inhaled the warm air one last time before forcing her head out from under the blankets. The decision was necessary, but instantly regretted. The frigid air hit her like a slap in the face. The hard earned heat vaporized in an almost perceptible puff of air. The only good thing was that there were no bugs nestled next to her makeshift camp deep in the roots of a tree she’d managed to find.
Ashlynn hated bugs.
Too often she’d woken up with a daddy longlegs crawling over her to seek out the warmth of her body or one of those nasty little roaches skittering across the bottom of her blankets. The worst jump scare she’d received so far was a mouse that started creeping into her hiding place, too cold to be driven away by its fear.
Yes, a proper shelter was necessary, and Ashlynn intended to find one today as soon as possible.
She hoisted herself up out of her bed and rolled up her life-saving blankets and fastened them to the bottom of her pack before heaving it onto her shoulders. The gap in between the roots she’d found the night before allowed safe passage out. The sun, distant and cold, was shining bright through the naked branches of the tree high above her.
As Ashlynn surveyed her surroundings, a few things stood out to her. A fresh dusting of snow coated the ground, adding another inch or so to the already staggering three. She was basically at eye-level with the frozen flakes if she stood in the right spot, but that was common for a Borrower. Another thing she noticed was that the world seemed quiet and still. There were no noticeable signs of life.
No birds.
No rabbits or other small rodents.
No humans, and this was a good thing.
Knowing humans liked playing in fresh snow, Ashlynn felt like luck might actually be on her side for the time being. This was going to be a good day.
The Borrower moved swiftly across the trampled snow, noting how there was a subtle slickness to the ground as she stepped from tread mark to tread mark. This was going to be dangerous if she hit an ice patch, but did she dare slow down? At the moment, Ashlynn was standing what was essentially out in the open. There were houses to her left and right, but not close enough to make a successful mad dash to safety.
Injury wasn’t worth it.
“Just great,” she muttered as she forced herself to slow and walk closely near the piled up parts of the snowbank as a brace. Every step felt like a wobbly mess promising to make her slip and twist her ankles. Thankfully, she was as sure footed as a Borrower could be and managed to maneuver her way across the sidewalk and, finally, onto the road.
A human road seemed like an impossibly long distance to cover, especially with only her two feet and a heavy pack on her back. Even as she approached the road, a gentle breeze blew the thin layer of powdery snow across the way, making it look like the frozen tundra she’d seen once before on some kind of TV show she’d glimpsed years ago.
The beauty of the moment couldn’t be appreciated now. She looked to the left and then to the right before inhaling sharply and, relying on pure instinct, sprinted across the road. Between the furs on her body and with how small she knew she looked, any human who might’ve been looking out of the window at that precise moment might think she was some kind of squirrel or other household rodent.
At least, she was counting on it.
Ashlynn’s feet pounded hard and fast against the compacted snow. Each step she could’ve sworn that she could feel the ice trying to make her step slip. The snowbank was right in front of her. Fighting the frost and fatigue in her limbs, she pushed the last bit of energy she had to sprint up the foot tall snowbank in front of her and tumble over the ledge. She slid down the other side and, as luck would have it, spotted a baren hedge bush a mere ten feet away.
And next to that bush was the house she’d had her eye on from across the street.
Hopefully, this place would be a more welcome one than the others she’d visited, which immediately seemed to be the case as she noticed how the snow was compacted down and scraped away from some of the walkways. Ashlynn prayed silently that this was an indicator that the human inside liked spending time outside and would be leaving her alone inside the house.
The mere ten feet was a breeze to walk after so many days out in the elements and, soon after, Ashlynn found herself examining every crack and crevasse in hopes of finding a way inside of the towering walls above her. Perhaps it was sheer will and optimism, but as Ashlynn approached the walls by the bush, she found the smallest of openings and, even more exciting, felt a faint breeze of warm air brushing over her frozen cheeks.
The crack was only an inch or so wide and three inches tall, but that was more than enough for the miniscule woman. The Borrower slipped off her bag and set it to the side as she wiggled her way through the crack, forcing her head and shoulders in first before heaving the rest of her body through. The most difficult part was getting her bag through the gap, mostly because of the blankets and bobbles she’d attached to the outside because of the lack of room on the inside.
The moment she was inside, the relief of warmth began to seep into her joints and bones. Her body started to itch and ache, and she realized the warmth was probably the culprit. It was something that happened when she spent a lot of time outside in the frigid cold, though she wasn’t exactly sure why. All she really cared about now was the fact that she was going to be warm tonight.
Ashlynn fished through her pack, pulling out various items and borrowings, until she found her trusted hip lamp. The little light that was seeping in through the crack she’d entered through the house in certainly wasn’t enough light to see the labyrinth of walls and beams above her; and it certainly wasn’t going to be enough to see any pests she might have to fight off to claim this house as her home.
The light from her lamp glowed with its familiar yellow light and, just like that, Ashlynn could see the underside of the immense human dwelling. The first thing she noticed were the cobwebs and spare scraps of wood and brick that were laying all over on the ground. It was the perfect nest for dangerous things, especially because of the scraps of cloth and twig brush at the far end of the house, but she would have to worry about clearing all of that out during the spring if she decided to stay in this home.
Now was about finding her way inside. Ashlynn hoisted her pack back onto her back and followed along the floor joists until she spotted a tiny gap between the floor and where she stood on the ground. If Ashlynn had to guess, it looked like the house had merely settled and had separated ever so slightly from the main wall.
Bad for the homeowner, but good for her.
Ashlynn set down her pack and, retrieving her hook from the back left side, spun it around and let it fly through the air. The silver hook lodged somewhere high above, and Ashlynn was relieved when it didn’t come loose as she tugged. With a couple more tugs, she left her bag attached to the bottom of her string and hoisted herself up the line toward the tiny gap she’d managed to spot.
The gap proved no challenge for the Borrower, but her pack was a bit of another story. It was a punch to the gut, but Ashlynn quickly concluded once she’d heaved her pack through the tiny gap that she’d probably have to leave it behind as she explored her new environment. There was nothing worse than having a pack slow you down, especially if you were in a pinch.
Her brother had learned that the hard way…
But she couldn’t think about that now.
At least it’ll be safe here, Ashlynn thought to herself as she tied her bag up on a nearby nail head that hadn’t quite stuck completely into the wall and fished out her essentials including her pin, her thumb tack, hip lamp, and her borrowing bag. She’d also stripped off several layers of her heavy clothing to remain agile and limber, even though she shivered as she did so.
Cold was enemy number one in her eyes. Always had been. Always would be.
Before she left, she also brough a little bit of spare thread with her to tie or drop to help lead her back to her only possessions. Starting from scratch after the week and three days she’d endured going from place to place was the last thing she wanted.
She’d barely made it three steps when another realization hit her, and it was quickly becoming priority one – food.
After pulling out her essentials, Ashlynn realized she only had a tiny piece of cracker left in her food supply, and now that she was warming up her insides were thawing and reminding her that she needed more than that by the end of the day. She thankfully knew how to operate when hungry, but in her immediate memory Ashlynn couldn’t remember when she’d delved into her food bag last.
So, priorities set of finding a proper base and decent food, Ashlynn set out into the walls, unsure of what she was going to find.
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Continue
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A Tall and Small Collection | Original Story
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scekrex · 6 months ago
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So here I'm after telling you that I need to cry over the next part of "A bloody nose and two bleeding hearts" I was thinking about it for a moment and it took me there...
Adam took the reader back to heaven yay. But not everything is so dandy, the Reader has fallen, even if he's back, he's fallen angel. With that comes everything that a fallen angel would feel...cut connection with Father, that strange feeling of being alone, cast aside, not wanted. If the reader had wings there are phantom pains, I'm imagining that the wings would somehow change, maybe colour, or maybe he would lose feathers in a few places, unfortunately it's not two or three feathers... Now the Reader is thinking about what Adam has told him and he can't help but wonder if that was a lie, because how could someone want him after the fall? Adam on the other side doesn't know what to really do with the reader... He sees that the reader is getting more and more depressed with each day, but it has been a long time since he had comforted someone depressed(I imagine it would be Cain after killing Abel, but that's just my little headcanon, that Cain after killing his brother and coming back to his senses would get so depressed). Even so he tries to take care of the reader, by not letting Sera close again or something like that. It does help a bit, but the reader now needs all love Adam could give him, to see and feel that what Adam has told him was real, that he was wanted by someone even if he fell.
So yes, that's all I think...and even if not it doesn't matter, I'll love it anyway
Omg I love this soooo much - depressed reader is something I find so much comfort in
Part 1
For what we have done we will pay our price
pairing: Adam x male!reader
warnings: language, hurt - with comfort
note: not beta read bc fuck you
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Heaven felt different, now that you were back. It felt so cold, so lonely, all the warmth it had once provided was gone, you were no longer able to feel the heavenly connection to it you once had. Its colors had once been bright and welcoming to your eyes but after your fall they simply didn’t look the same to you, they looked grayish, boring and just as cold as they felt. The great and loving connection you used to have to Father was not present anymore, you were not able to feel him guiding you, protecting you anymore and you were only to assume that he wasn’t feeling your bright spirit in return. Because your spirit seemed to be so many things and all of them were ugly, ugly just like your appearance had become once your feet had touched hellish ground.
Your wings simply weren’t the same anymore, just like everything else and while you were somewhat thankful that you weren’t surrounded by sinners, you weren’t quite sure if being surrounded by judgemental angels was any better. They stared at you, at your wings and really, you couldn’t even blame them because if you were in their position you would’ve stared and judged as well. But it really didn’t help with your situation. Your wings, once a beautiful bright white with a light blue touch to the tips of your feathers had turned gray, not only had they changed to look less pure and more tainted, you had also started to lose feathers. That had started once Adam had brought you back to heaven and you only assumed it was their way of punishing you for disobeying the law. In the end it really didn’t matter why it happened, what was more important was that it happened and it made your wings look rotten, which only caused your appearance in general to look even messier.
Because ever since Adam had brought you back to heaven you had been crashing at his place, they had sold your place within a couple of hours and while that had been painful due to the loss of very personal items, it wasn’t the end of the world. Everything else seemed like it though. The energy to leave the bed every day was barely existent and you asked yourself how Adam did it, how he managed to get up every day, how he managed to just go about his day and not give a fuck about heaven’s questionable decisions.
You were lying in the first man’s bed, your body was covered by your own wings and a soft blanket - the blanket was necessary because of the giant bald areas on your wings, without it you would’ve caught a cold, a thing Adam tried to prevent. Your relationship towards Adam had changed in general, there was no more playful teasing, that had been replaced by soft touches and warm cuddles every now and then, but was it enough to keep you sane and intact? You weren’t sure. On the other hand you weren’t truly sure of anything, not when Adam’s soft words felt like lies. Why would the brunette care for you in the ways he claimed to care for you and like you? What reason have you ever given him to think of you as someone to adore and love?
The first man entered the room, something you were only able to hear, your eyes were covered by three feathers that were still left on the edge of your wing, three lonely feathers that reminded you of what you’ve once been and how drastically that had changed. “Are you dead?” the first man asked jokingly, but to you his question wasn’t funny. Because to you death seemed like a less painful and energy draining thing, like a thing more beautiful than the miserable afterlife you were stuck in. And it wasn’t Adam’s fault, yes he had been teasing you, yes he had been pushing your buttons but you had been the one to punch him so really it was your fault for losing control. And yet he not only brought you back to heaven but also let you crash at his place. Probably the nicest thing Adam had done since Eden.
“I wish,” you mumbled against the dry skin of your almost featherless wing, the sensitive body part twitched and you sighed as you removed it from your body and simply cuddled up in the blanket instead. You were able to remember how your wings used to feel, how the connection to Father used to feel and what heaven used to look like and you were quite sure that the blanket was not making up for your once so soft wings - far from it actually. You heard clicking sounds, Adam must have put something down. And just as you were about to turn around to look at what he was doing the mattress dipped next to you and you felt the blanket being lifted up a little. The next thing you recognized were strong arms that wrapped around your body and pulled you flush against Adam’s chest. It was more of a reflex to tug your wings in during cuddles. And then you felt it. Soft feathers were brushing against your bare torso, they slid over your sweaty skin so smoothly.
Adam had wrapped his wings around you.
“Don’t fucking say that,” his voice sounded so unusual soft, so warm and comforting, there was no sarcastic comments, no harsh shoves, he was not trying to push your buttons either. He simply laid there, right next to you and tried his best to bring back the familiar feeling of heaven. You felt his feathers gently stroking your back in slow motions, up, then down, then up, then down. You got lost in the rhythm of it, so lost in fact that you forgot to respond to Adam. But was it important to respond to the brunette in the first place? You had only been honest and you were quite sure that everything else you had to say the first man wouldn’t like at all. And while his words were cheap - they had been and maybe they always will be - his actions weren't. Because instead of thinking of you as something disgusting he held you in his arms like the biggest treasure he had ever been allowed to touch. He looked at you with such loving eyes, touched you with gentle hands and cozy wings, kissed you with soft lips and passion you never expected from a person like him.
And maybe - just maybe - rotting away in heaven wasn’t all that bad. At least not with Adam by your side.
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