#the other posts only had two per family but this one gets to have four per family bc round 1 Still Isn't Finished WOOOOOO

[simstationdance]

My favorite screenshots from Long Road Ahead, part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

I wish I hated you

Summary: You never thought a family dinner would include the father of your children, but after you and Joel finally talk, things might slowly start to heal between the two of you.

Pairing: past Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 3.9k

Rating: T

Warnings: angst, crying, talk about past shitty behaviour, more sorry's, beginning of moving on, feelings and their denial, more feelings, it's complicated cause these fools deep down love each other, food, regrets

A/N: It's been a while, but Part four is finally here. I was struggling with this but I finally have the idea for how to end this. One more part and we're done. Hope you enjoy this (and if not, don't tell me lol)

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics and turn on notifications to get notified when I post new fics

part four of invisible string

Life in Jackson quickly became your new normal, apart from the fact that he was here too. 

Leo and Ana were thriving, going to school every day. They learned to write and to read and to count and they were excited to tell you about every little thing they had learned in school every time you picked them up. 

You already had a big collection of pictures they painted in class all around the house too. 

You had been in Jackson for almost four months now. 

You brother, being the more open one of the two of you, already had made a lot of friends. He was a trusted part of the patrol group and went out at least twice per week.

He also was officially dating Lauren, the school teacher as of the week before. 

And you?

You were… okay.

After the first two weeks of living in Jackson you had started the working rotation to find out how you could provide something to the community and you had been happy to now be working at the kitchen every morning to prepare breakfast and lunch service at the community hall. 

Cooking had always been your happy place.

You hadn’t really made any friends. 

You were working with Carl, Andy and Lisa in the kitchen, and you were going to weekly dinners at Maria and Tommy’s place. 

You and Tommy had a long talk shortly after you arrived.

He had told you how sorry he was for everything that happened. He felt guilty for leaving out of the blue, without telling you, knowing how bad Joel had been back then. 

But you weren’t mad at him, and you told him that. 

It wasn’t his responsibility to stay back just because his brother did. Tommy had believed he would find something better when he left with the Fireflies. And even though it hadn’t worked out with them, his life still changed for the better. 

Leo and Ana were ecstatic to have a little cousin in Sammy. Of course you had to explain what cousin meant, which also meant that Tommy became Uncle Tommy. A title he took with pride. 

Life was good. 

As good as it could be with anyone doing their best to not mention the big elephant in the room. 

Joel.

You hadn’t seen him more for a couple of moments since the morning he came to pick up your brother. That did not mean you had not heard about him though. 

Your brother Calvin apparently had been paired with him out on patrol a couple of times and you were more than surprised when Calvin asked you how or if he should answer when Joel asked him questions about you and the twins. 

Apparently after the first couple of almost silent patrols out, Joel had to began to ask about you on the latest patrol. Something that surprised you, if you were honest. 

You really didn’t think Joel was thinking about you. Even though he told you he was still in love with you all those weeks ago. 

How was the man who said all those cruel words to you when you needed him most still in love with you?

And why hadn’t you been able to stop thinking about him ever since that first night you saw him again?

He had not only hurt you, he had broken you. Had blamed the whole pregnancy on you alone, as if he wasn’t the one who had fucked you and had came inside of you. 

You were always on the verge between angry, hurt and longing when it came to Joel and you had no fucking clue what to do about it. 

So, after taking some time to think about your brothers question over what to tell Joel when he asked about you, you took matters in your own hands and had made the decision to talk to the man in question yourself. 

You had asked Maria where you would be able to find him and she had told you that he was working on a house on the other side of town together with Tommy for the week. Apparently the girl, Ellie, wasn’t feeling too well and Joel did not want to be on patrol until she got better. 

So on a rainy day, after you got your kids to school, you found yourself walking towards the house Maria had told you. It was Tommy you saw first when you walked up the stairs, his eyes widening in surprise before he nodded his head up, silently telling you that Joel was upstairs. 

You were thankful that the house seemed to be empty apart from Joel who you could hear hammering upstairs. Taking a deep breath you pulled your soaked rain jacket off, hanging it on a doorhandles downstairs, before you walked up. 

He must have not heard you walk up the steps, his back turned towards you as he knelt on the floor, hammering some floor boards. You approached him quietly, leaning with your shoulder against the doorframe of the door he was working in. 

It gave you some time to look at him. 

Noticing the changes in his appearance in the last six years. 

It seemed to you that he aged quite a lot since the last time you saw him. There was a lot more grey in his hair than you remembered. 

When you looked at his hands you found him wearing his wedding ring. The one you had put on his fingers, the one that he hadn’t worn much when you were still together. 

You were more than surprised that he still had it. 

He stilled for a moment before his head turned towards you, as if he had sensed you standing there. Surprised he raised his eyebrows before he put the hammer down, pulling himself up to his feet with a groan, his joints popping. 

You continued to look at him, now noticing the deeper lines around his eyes. 

He seemed nervous as he looked at you. 

„Calving told me you have questions,“ you said after a while.

„I do,“ he said with a small nod. 

„Why?“ You asked. 

„So I know that you and the… that you are okay. That you don’t need anything,“ he said. 

„You did not care about me when you told me to get the fuck out of your life,“ you said before you could stop yourself. He visibly flinched, closing his eyes. 

„I should have never said that,“ he whispered, looking at the ground as he shook his head. 

„No, you shouldn’t,“ you agreed. 

For a while the only sound that could be heard was the rain outside. 

„I revisit that day every single day and I can’t understand why I said those things,“ he said all of the sudden, looking up at you. 

„I can not understand why I treated you like I did. And I am not talking just about that night. I am talking about the whole time. Every time I told you that you deserve better, I meant it. I wasn’t… I am not what you deserve. I am broken. Maybe that’s why I kept lashing out at you. To make you understand.“

„It’s because of Sarah,“ you said and you could hear him take a deep breath, his eyes closing. 

Only saying this name had him shouting at you in the past, but you weren’t afraid of his reaction now. 

„You push everything and everyone away because you feel like it was your fault that Sarah died. And so you push everyone and everything away that could potentially hurt you like Sarah’s death did without realising that it is you how is hurting you,“ you said. 

A tear slipped down his cheek. 

„They ask about you,“ you said and he furrowed his brows.

„They ask about their Dad. In the community before they did not have an actual school, but the kids got to hang out three times a week and every time friends of them were picked up by their father, they asked about where their Dad was,“ you sighed. 

„What did you tell them?“

„That their father was out and looking for a better world for us,“ you whispered, blinking your own tears away. You looked at him with a sad smile. 

„They look so much like you. They both have your eyes and your curly hair. And your stubbornness,“ you said the last part with a small smile. 

Joel chuckled. 

„I’m sorry for that,“ he said with a head shake. 

„Can’t wait for them to be teenagers. It’s gonna be a ride,“ you said. 

Joel sucked his bottom lip in before he spoke.

„If you need help then, or… anytime really… I have some experience with moody teenagers. Sarah was…,“ a small smile sneaked to his lips, „Sarah could easily bribed with food. My Tacos to be specific. And since Tommy found a Taco press and there’s a whole field of corn currently growing….“

„I’ll keep that in mind,“ you said softly. 

Tommy called for help from downstairs and you sucked your bottom lip in. 

Joel grabbed his toolbox.

„We have dinner at Tommy’s place every Thursday,“ you said as he turned towards you again. 

He nodded. 

„If you like, you and Ellie could join us tomorrow,“ you said, before your brain could talk you out of it. 

„Are you sure?“

You huffed a laugh. 

„Not really. If I’m honest I am terrified of getting hurt again, but I am also tired of running. There is still this part inside of me, that wants you. That is and probably always will be in love with you. But while I figure this part of my feelings out, you can get to know your kids, if you’d like,“ you said.

He nodded slowly. 

„I’d really like that.“

You had never been more thankful to have found a friend like Maria. 

After telling her that you had invited Joel over for Thursday night dinner, you had freaked out immediately. Maria knew everything. You had told her you whole history with Joel after she had shown up with a bottle of wine on your doorstep a couple of weeks after you had arrived and you had spilled your feelings after two glasses of wine. 

Knowing your whole history with Joel did not help Maria’s dislike of him in the least. She judged him for the things he had done to keep the people he loved safe. How he made Tommy participate. And even though you could have just let Maria rant about him and his ways, you found yourself defending him. 

Something Maria could not understand in the beginning. 

How you could defend a man who killed, tortured, robbed and hurt people without any consequences. A man who hurt you so baldy you fled across the country while being pregnant. 

And logically she was right. There was no sane reason why you should be defending him. 

Then again, falling for the man in the first place was probably not the most logic decision you made all those years back. 

You just did.

So here you were, a glass of wine in your left hand while you „helped“ Maria cook dinner. You could hear Leo and Ana in the living room as they played with Tommy. 

Usually your brother Calvin would be here too, but it was his girlfriend's birthday to day and they had plans.

„You ready to forgive him? Just like that?“ Maria asked. 

You shook your head. 

„This is not about that. He’s their father,“ you whispered the last sentence. 

„And no matter how much of an asshole he was to me, I don’t want to stand in the way of them having a relationship, if he wants to have one,“ you said.

„I think he wants the whole package,“ Maria said, stirring the soup she had made.

You raised one eyebrow. 

„Joel came over to help Tommy fix the roof last weekend, and he stayed for dinner and some drinks afterwards. I overhead them talk about you from upstairs,“ she said quietly. 

„He is pretty damn determinate to win you back. Said he never loved anyone as much as he does still love you and that he’ll spend the rest of his life worshipping you on his knees if you gave him another chance,“ Maria said. 

„He said that?“ You asked. She nodded. 

„They were already some beers deep into the conversation, but yeah. I had my doubts, I still have them. But I can’t deny that the man is in love with you. And he’s a great father to Ellie, even though it’s complicated between them at the moment.“

Before you could react there was a knock on the door and you felt yourself tense up. 

Maria gave you a warm smile. 

„Better get out there, before Tommy tells them who exactly Joel is,“ she said and your eyes widened before you walked towards the door. 

Joel had been nervous many many times in his life. 

But nothing seemed to compare to the moment he knocked on the door of his brothers house, knowing you and his two kids, the kids he never met before, were waiting behind it. 

He had spent almost twenty minutes trying to find an outfit for himself, like this was some kind of date. Which technically it was. It was a date to meet his children for the first time. And the first step to hopefully earning your trust and forgiveness. So when he saw his blue flannel, the only piece of clothing that had survived all the way from Boston, your favourite shirt on him, it felt like it was a sign. 

„So these kids really don’t know who you are?“ Ellie asked next to him. He was more than glad she had agreed to come with him tonight. Though Maria cooking her favourite dinner might have been the real reason she agreed. 

Things with Ellie were still tense. 

And that was another thing he was to blame for. 

He should have told her the truth from the beginning. Not that it would have made the whole situation about Ellie feeling like she lost her purpose better, but at least he wouldn’t have lied to her. 

Lying to protect the people he loved seemed to be a pattern in Joel’s life, that he needed to work on too. 

„They don’t. I don’t know if or when she will tell them. So please don’t mention it. I know you’re not my biggest fan at the moment, but those kids should not have to suffer because of it, okay?“ He asked. 

Ellie rolled her eyes with a sigh. 

„Won’t spill the beans, promise,“ she said.

The door opened and Tommy grinned at them. 

„Fancy seeing you here,“ he said, Sammy on his arm who already made grabby hands towards Joel. He found himself smiling at his little nephew before he reached over to take Sammy from Tommy. 

„Yeah, Yeah. I was promised food,“ Ellie grumbled, pushing past the men.

„Still a ray of sunshine, huh?“ Tommy teased, rubbing through Ellie’s hair and she slapped his hand away with a long groan.

Joel followed them inside, closing the door behind him, Sammy still on his arm. His hands were clammy as he heard Ellie introduce herself to Leo and Ana. Sammy looked up at Joel, putting one tiny hand on his cheek, making raspberry lips. Joel find himself smiling, the nervous flutter in his stomach dying down a little. 

„Hi,“ he heard your voice and he turned his head as you walked out of the kitchen towards him. You were wearing what looked like a oversized black sweater that went to the middle of your upper thighs and a leggings beneath it. You looked cozy and he wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and….

„Hey,“ he said, interrupting his train of thoughts.

„You want me to go in with you? Introduce you?“ You asked. He found himself nodding.

„I am gonna tell them that you are Joel’s brother. Nothing more right now, okay?“ You asked again and he nodded again. 

„Okay,“ you said before you turned away from him, but he reached for you before he even realised he was moving, catching you by surprise, as he carefully wrapped his hand around your wrist. He could hear you little gasp as you turned back to him, your eyes searching his. 

„You look beautiful,“ he whispered squeezing your wrist.

He watched as you took a deep breath, your eyes slipping close for just a moment before you opened them and gave him a small smile.

The combination of seeing Joel wear the shirt you had gifted him for Christmas in 2014 and seeing him hold Sammy in his arms was a little overwhelming. 

But that was nothing compared to your body reacting to his touch as he told you that you looked beautiful. You flushed so hard, you were sure you could melt snow if you stepped outside. 

It was various kinds of fascinating that he still had that effect on you. 

Taking a deep breath as you turned away from him you walked inside the living room where Ellie was already sitting between Ana and Leo who were explaining their rules of Monopoly to them. Tommy had found a lot of boardgames on patrol a while back and borrowed it for tonight. 

You did not think playing Monopoly was a perfect bonding experience (it was war really) but who were you to complain?

„You gonna play too Mommy?“ Ana asked as she saw you, giving you those big pleasing puppy eyes she had from her father. 

„After dinner. I promise. But we play the official rules and no cheating like the last time,“ you said with narrowed eyes and Leo giggled. 

„Hi Ellie,“ you smiled at her and she gave you a small wave before she looked back at the game.

You took a deep breath.

„Remember that I told you that there would be guests tonight? You already meet Ellie, and this is Joel. Tommy’s brother,“ you explained to them. 

They both said Hi to him and you looked behind you finding Joel’s watery eyes on them. 

„You gonna play with us after dinner too, Mr. Joel?“ Ana asked with hopeful eyes. The dimple that mirrored Joel’s showing on her cheek as she smiled.

Joel cleared his throat and you found yourself stepping closer to him, hesitantly taking his hand.

He looked at you and you gave him a small nod. 

„I’d love to.“

It was way past the twins bedtime when you finished the second round of Monopoly. Against your hesitations, no family war broke out and Maria declared herself the winner, much to the disappointment of Ellie. 

It only took you three hours to understand why Joel was so protective of the girl. She was funny, smart and took no shit from anyone. 

Ana and Leo had been sleeping on the couch for at least an hour when you were helping to clean up the table.

„Can we… do this again?“ Ellie asked hesitantly while Joel was helping his brother in the kitchen to dry the dishes. 

„We do this every Thursday. You are always welcome to join, Ellie,“ Maria said.

„Cool,“ she nodded and you smiled, before you looked towards the couch, wondering how you would get those two kids home. 

„You think Tommy could help me get Leo home?“ You asked Maria.

„Why? We live on the same street. Joel can help,“ Ellie said before Maria could answer. Maria chuckled.

„She’s right, you know?“ Maria said. 

„I always am,“ Ellie said as she walked towards the door, calling one loud bye into the house before she stepped outside. 

There was a part of you that did not want this evening to end. 

It really felt like you were a family. 

After dinner the kids had went right into their first round of Monopoly, Tommy and Joel joining them as you had helped Maria in the kitchen. 

All you thoughts about this evening being awkward disappeared as you had come back into the living room to find Leo sitting in Joel’s lap, both of them grinning and plotting against Tommy who had Ana on his lap. 

You knew that both of the kids were so much like Joel. But seeing Leo and Joel like that made you realise that he really was a Mini version of Joel.

It made you wonder how the last years could have been if things had went differently. 

But maybe he just wasn’t ready for it back then.

„Thank you for dinner, Maria,“ Joel said as he walked back into the living room. 

„Yes, Thank you for dinner Maria,“ Tommy grinned as he went over to her, kissing her softly. 

„Oh by the way Ellie volunteered you to carry Leo home,“ Maria said towards Joel who raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

„Is that so?“ He asked with a chuckle.

„You don’t have to though. I can go ask Calvin…“ you began but he shook his head, walking towards the couch and carefully picked up Leo who, as if sensing it, put his arms around his neck, continuing to sleep soundly. 

You gulped, giving both Tommy and Maria a nervous smile before you walked to the couch, picking Ana up. She snuggled against your neck. 

„Good night,“ Maria and Tommy whispered, following you down the hallway to their door. 

„Good night,“ you whispered back, taking a deep breath before you followed Joel. 

Ellie must have went home already, leaving the two of you alone on the short walk to your house. 

„I can’t believe I voluntarily gave all of this up because I was such a coward,“ Joel said quietly as you walked into your street. 

„They are pretty awesome huh?“ You asked and you could hear the smile in his voice as he answered:

„They are everything.“

Once you were at your house you guided him upstairs and into the twins room. He carefully put Leo into his bed before he walked out of the room as you undressed them and put them into their pyjamas. Giving both of them a forehead kiss you walked out of their room, closing the door behind you.

Joel was nowhere to be found so you walked back down, finding him sitting on the porch steps outside. It had started to rain again. 

When you approached him you could hear him sniffling, your heart breaking. 

„Why don’t you hate me?“ He asked as you sat down next to him. 

„I pushed you away. I pushed my wife away, the only woman I ever truly loved. I pushed you away because I was scared to loose you. How fucking stupid can a person be? Why am I like this? I lost everything and rightfully so and yet here you are, giving me a chance to meet the children who I wanted you to…“ he stopped himself. You could see him shaking as he cried, his head lowered, his face hidden behind his hands. 

Hesitantly you let your head fall on his shoulder, one of your hand coming to rest on his knee. 

„I wish I hated you,“ you whispered;

„But I just can’t stop loving you.“

[mousedetective]

URGENT! Please Help A Homeless, Disabled & Mostly Queer Family Get Ready For Housing By Helping With Paying For Much-Needed Loans!

PAYPAL | AMAZON WISHLIST | KOFI | GOFUNDME

VENMO: @penaltywaltz | CASHAPP: $afteriwake23 | ZELLE: DM me for email address

4/29/24 - New Post

So some stuff has happened, some of the loans I listed before have been paid, and I missed a few things, so I'm making a new post!

So, we still haven't heard about Section 8, and while I'm grateful for the shelter housing and feeding us, there's been some pretty toxic activity on my floor and I'm at my wit's end. I'm not sleeping well, I have constant headaches from grinding my teeth, and my blood pressure (which is already high and I'm already on meds for it) keeps being high when I get it checked. So we need to get housing with or without the Section 8 voucher as soon as possible.

Now, I have a list of low-income apartments all over North County. While not ideal, we have also heard of a complex of studio apartments available for $1400 which give preferential treatment to shelter occupants. But the problem is that I not only have a bunch of payday loans to pay, but I also have a payment on a two-month loan, a five-month loan, a six-month loan, and a year-long loan that eat up my entire income until I at least pay off the first three. My mom only gets $1300 and my daughter isn't on disability yet. So we can't even afford the studio until October and we'll have been kicked out of the shelter long before then.

I can probably cover the remaining payday loans and this month's payment for the two-month loan and still pay for the storage units. But I need to pay off whatever I can on the other loans, and the longer I wait the more interest that compiles. So I need a lot more than I was asking for before and I need it quickly to cover at least all of this month's payments while I work on paying off the totals of the bigger loans.

This is the list of payments I need to make as it stands now:

$300 for my loan from Ace Cash Express (due by May 2nd)

$300 for my mom's loan from Ace Cash Express (due May 2nd)

$408 for my loan payment from Ascend Loans (due May 3rd)

$277 for my loan payment from Greenline Loans (due May 3rd)

$177 for my loan payment from Green Arrow Loans (due May 3rd)

$148 for my loan payment to Possible Loans (due May 3rd)

$148 for my mom's loan payment to Possible Loans (due May 3rd)

$321.80 for my mom's loan from Moneylion (due by May 15th)

$285 for my Moneytree loan (due by May 25th)

$285 for my mom's Moneytree loan (due by May 26th)

I can't make partial payments on any of these loans except the Moneylion loans my mom has. I need the full amount for the payment to pay it off early, and for the four non-payday loans, I can't make an early payment but if I can cover the payments in my bank account with donations I'm good.

The Ascend loan was for $1,000. The Greenline loan was for $500. The Green Arrow loan was for $400. The Possible loans are $300 each, coming out as two payments of $148 (one this May, one in June) per loan. So I'm going to set two goals: covering all of the above payments and then covering the bigger loans as a whole throughout the month of May.

I can't take much more of the toxicity at the shelter at the moment, though I have hopes some of it will subside if the most toxic resident on my floor leaves this week like he's threatening to, but yeah. We just need to get all this paid off and get into housing of our own, even if it's just a studio for now. I'm including the $35 I got from a GFM towards the current totals because I spent all the rest of the money I had and I still haven't gotten that donation in my account yet.

TOTAL GOAL: $47/$4850

IMMEDIATE GOAL: $47/$2650

Goal has been met! However, the car is acting up, so we have to take it to our mechanic tomorrow. I may still need some help.

[ofmermaidstories]

So on Good Friday I had drafted up a little post just—I dunno. It started off with me talking about my lunch (broiche toast with peanut butter, some slices of overpriced smoked cheddar and a pottle of cherry tomatoes that i’d halved and dressed with wholegrain mustard, salt and pepper and sesame oil), because i enjoyed it, and then because i had been thinking about it, i had mentioned how Australian grocery prices have climbed well above the global average.

I mentioned some of my favourite people to follow, on tiktok! Food accounts—the woman who does the Dollar Store budget videos, where she plans out meals around limited money, or accessibility. The young mum who’s videos are just her making lunch/dinner for her four little kids. The Palestinian man who used to review resturants and dishes before the war on Gaza—and who, before Tiktok took down the videos, had started posting himself making dishes from aid rations. In the end I just saved the post to my drafts because—there was no real point to the post, not really, beyond how unfair it is that food is swiftly becoming a luxury and how it shouldn’t be, for any of us, anywhere. Not us here in Australia with our 54% on average price increases, nor for American families that have to shop at Dollar Tree with their last $30 for the next two weeks.

And definitely not for the citizens of Gaza.

Israel is manufacturing a famine within Gaza’s borders. And just today, they murdered via airstrike a carload of World Central Kitchen aid workers. Seven in total, six foreign nationals and one Palestinian local. No aid organisation can operate within Gaza’s boarders without reporting their travel plans to the Israeli Invading Force. Their car was branded with the organisations logo. Israel has some of the best surveillance technology in the world—it is often the testing ground for the hot new stuff that then gets sold to the rest of our governments. Israeli knew who was in that car. And they targeted them anyway. And now because of their actions, the WCK is now “pausing (their) operations”. And who can blame them? Knowing that if you stay, you’re just putting more lives at risk—but it means how many less meals, now, less food for the Palestinians still there? All of our countries are cowards. The Australian government won’t even name Israel in its condemnation today, of the attack. The Australian government has let our only two real supermarket chains—Coles and Woolworths—create a duopoly where they can charge the public however much they want. We can’t help ourselves and we refuse to help other people—so what good are we, as a country? The boomers and the ignorant on facebook are too busy frothing at the mouth over the imaginary millionaire immigrants who come to Australia in boats and buy houses by the dozens, per family. So many of our problems—here in Australia, globally—would be solved if the majority of us realised the real enemy isn’t a people bomb-locked on their own land, or the refugees that make it here, or even each other but instead our own fucking governments, and the bastard corporations that are gripping them by the balls. I’m grateful for every meal I get to sit down to. But I would enjoy it a lot more if it were easier for all of us to eat—or if it were a CEO or politician or two on the plate itself.

[cocogum]

My honest reactions of episodes 5 and 6 (part 2)

PART 1 : HERE

(‼️ SEASON 4 SPOILERS ‼️)

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay I just HAD to devote the full Alibert inn scene from episode 5 here CUZ WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YUGO GOING BACK TO EMELKA!! I know I already mentioned Chibi and Grougal (as well as the tree Tofu tower) in part 1 but part 2 will basically be about all the rest of the inn scene cuz tumblr couldn’t let me have more than ten images per post (I know the site apparently lets u have more but I always use the phone for it so shush.)

But first, we finally get to see Alibert again after all those years 💕

Alibert. Sweetie. Baby. You can take care of two (technically four) kids with the addition of a freaking INN, you COOK for the customers, AND, ON TOP OF ALL THAT, you’re the MAYOR of EMELKA, that same place where you run the inn and take care of your adopted sons.

You do much more than just “taking care of an inn”, you got three jobs AND you’re still sane. You’re three in one, a whole package, props to you king. He’s such a boss ass man I love him 💕💕

NAH MAN

Not these ppl trying to avoid the inflation 😭😭 I don’t blame them tho. I would’ve said the same thing lol.

(Also is the wine a call back to Gustavio? Plz it would be so funny if the reason why Alibert is angry is cuz these ppl are saying how “bad” it is just so the prices can stay the same but also because he’s mad that they’re calling Gustavio’s wine “disgusting” even if they were all just trying to make him not raise the prices!)

Love how Yugo doesn’t say that same shit to Ruel after all those years of cooking for his ass and never getting anything from him.

Like even the whole Brotherhood calls Ruel a “cheapskate” but the only time where we see Yugo say that same shit is when he says that to his own CUSTOMERS?!?

Gurl bye Yugo’s such a silly little hypocrite!! 😭😭

OMG THE WHOLE FAMILY’S BACK TOGETHER!!

Adamaï get your stupid lizard ass over here.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen these two just laughing and hugging like this 💕💕💕

Also, Ankama tried being very slick with Az and his wife.

Nah cuz how can you not see these two and not think about Yugo and Amalia?? Does the thought never come to mind or what??

They literally give off the same energy, how did no one say anything before???!!?

THESE LITTLE TOFUS ARE OBVIOUSLY A SILLY PARALLEL TO THESE TWO AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE.

Okay now the next part of the Alibert inn scene is very important to me so listen.

Recently, I came scrolling on @moths-are-better’s recent posts about Yugo and I came up on the one where he drinks the “milk” that was in the cup in the scene below.

But like-

@moths-are-better STOP LYING TO YOURSELF THIS IS CLEARLY WINE!!!

Look at all the other people drinking in the inn before they left: they all had that same kind of cup, insinuating that they were drinking wine (and also cuz they confirmed it was wine while trying to avoid any possible future inflations with Alibert).

I just love how Ankama deliberately shows us small scenes like this to remind us that Yugo can do adult things even though he looks like a kid. Because THIS is one of those scenes! Just look at how Alibert quietly pulls the cup of wine away from Yugo as soon as the guy starts ranting about his problems.

That’s clearly not milk lol I just love your delusions @moths-are-better 💕💕

But not only did this scene made me realize that nothing can stop Yugo from doing adult things despite how he looks, it also helped me realize that Yugo is the type to only drink when he’s having problems. We clearly see him about to drink more while ranting to Alibert before he carefully pulls the wine away from Yugo cuz he KNOWS Yugo would drink more just for that.

That level of attention to detail is amazing and I’m so glad I managed to catch up to the hints early on.

Alibert be looking like Yugo’s bartender AND therapist in just that moment alone lol

Ngl I would’ve loved to see a drunk Yugo if he had been able to drink more before Alibert intervened.

‼️ EVERYONE ‼️

👏 BE👏 LIKE 👏 ALIBERT 👏 ❤️❤️

This is making me wanna have kids too man….

His caring and calming attitude towards Yugo and the way he just treats him, cares for him, and acts like a responsible parent during all these years really makes me wanna do the same thing someday. Alibert is so good at his job(s) that he’s even beating a freaking goddess. Let that sink in. (actually any good parent like Alibert would beat the Eliatrope goddess’ parenting easily lol)

Alibert is genuinely so sweet, patient, thoughtful, and understanding of Yugo. Like even though he just heard Yugo say he finally found his true family, Alibert doesn’t take his words as insults and would rather just let him spill out all of his words to him.

When I said I missed these two like this, I really meant it. This inn is not only where Yugo was raised in but it’s also Yugo’s comfort place.

My ass knows this is foreshadowing.

It just knows.

Older Yugo where u at? We need to talk.

Ankama’s gonna ruin this family and laugh about it while eating some croissants.

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapters 22 & 23 are now available on AO3.

Please note: Chapter 22 was too large to be added to AO3 as one chapter, therefore it has been divided into two and they're both available on AO3.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Currently 23 chapters completed: 893.1K Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Two snippets are included below, one from Chapter 22 and one from Chapter 23. Both chapters are available on AO3.

___________

Here's a snippet from Buck and Eddie's marriage ceremony in Chapter 22 and it's romantically fluffy.

___________

Mayor: “Vuole, Signor Edmundo M. Diaz prendere quest’uomo, Signor Evan M. Buckley como suo legittimo marito?”

Antonio: “Do you Mr. Edmundo M. Diaz take this man Mr. Evan M. Buckley to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Lo faccio.” [“I do.”] Eddie admits with a huge smile.

~~~

Mayor: “Vuole, Signor Evan M. Buckley, prendere quest’uomo Signor Edmundo M. Diaz como suo legittimo marito?”

Antonio: “Do you Mr. Evan M. Buckley take this man Mr. Edmundo M. Diaz to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Lo faccio.” [“I do.”] Buck admits while his signature Eddie smile graces his lips.

~~~

Mayor: “Gli anelli, per favore.” Amerigo: “The rings please.”

It's their marriage ceremony but what's going to happen next?

___________

Here's a snippet from Chapter 23 of an emotionally angsty discussion happening between the newlyweds, Buck and Eddie.

___________

Buck says, “But babe… I don’t want it if we’d lose you in the process.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows because he’s confused. “I don’t understand because I’m not going anywhere.”

“About two weeks ago we talked about how we were going to make decisions for this family together. We said some would be unilateral and some would have to be jointly discussed… do you remember that?”

The memory of that conversation slams into the front of Eddie’s mind like a tidal wave because he not only remembers it; he knows he was the one who suggested they talk about it. “Yes, I remember.”

“And about two months ago, we had two conversations… one happened the morning after we got engaged and the other one happened several days later. We uh, agreed we’re equals in this relationship and the money we have and earn is for our family.”

Eddie nods his head in agreement because they discussed those things too.

“EDDIE, ME AND CHRIS NEED YOU!” Buck whisper shouts with tears in his eyes.

Why is Buck upset and whisper shouting at Eddie when they've only been married for four days? 🤷🏽‍♀️

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-23 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[jacksprostate]

Before Project Mayhem, before fight club, before Marla, before Tyler — there is still one sad sack of shit.

.

.

The hard part about work trips isn't making the plane or seeing another family of five burnt into their leather seats. It's missing support groups.

See, if you're lucky, the company will send you out to a major city. Cities are great. A little advanced work to find a slightly below average church or library, you're set each night you're there.

It's a bit of novelty, getting to be a new face all at once. People assume you've just been diagnosed. It's never the failed treatments, the degradation of their life and everyone in it, the continuous experience of knowingly dying — none of those things are the worst thing that happens to you.

It's finding out they will.

So people cry. They crowd around, I sob like I've been told I've got stage four colon cancer and three weeks to live. We all cry. I sleep soundly on the plane back or in the nice, four star hotel my company provides me.

Flying out to a small town, though. I'll be awake enough to be hallucinating by the time I get back for Remaining Men Together. The only mercy is that the next time I show for all the groups I missed, I can see who thought I died. I get to be resurrected.

The other part about small towns, you have to take a second, shitter plane to a local airfield, or you have to take a rental car. One of the most popular rental cars available right now, it'll light itself on fire if you use the cruise control at the wrong time. I know this because I sat next to another guy with my job, who worked for a different company, and he said I'll show you mine if you show me yours. So I told him about the faulty airbags, and he told me about the overheating switch.

I prefer to avoid driving.

All the rental place at the airport has left for me, it's one of those flaming cars. I use cruise control. If I don't, one of my narcoleptic spells will send me into the Jersey barrier.

When you drive into these small towns, you have to try to pay attention, or you'll end up a county over talking about the wrong wreck. They're otherwise interchangeable, but the miles on your rental car won't line up and those are the type of records that might get pulled out when the company is finally sued for the big one ten years down the line.

As a result, I see the same decor on the way in every time. Meth lab. Abandoned homes. Garbage fire. Classic Americana. There is no four star hotel here; I sleep the same.

The only reason I've been brought out here is because the poor shithead who drove his truck into the ditch drunk was driving my company's flagship vehicle. It loses power steering if the car jostles the right way going above 55 miles per hour. I've been told to keep track of potential incidents and make sure the company can firmly claim it's not at fault.

We've had this problem for decades, and we will for many more. Sometimes, everything is falling apart.

The job is simple, and I only get tempted by the town's blatant opioid addiction for a day and night. Painkillers would probably make me sleep. The thing about being a recall campaign organizer, though, is like recognizes like. It's not only other Compliance and Liability guys who tell you company secrets while sharing the aisle in business class.

When I'm finally back in my own town, after my own support groups, after crying my eyes out into Bob's meaty middle — I pick up my mail. There's the newest IKEA magazine. Half of it looks like shit. The type of thing you'd only see in some curated art deco, modernist, post-modern traditionalist bohemian minimalist apartment.

I have to have it.

I go to sleep, hard, like God himself tucked me in. I sleep with my wallet net four hundred heavier, because even an IKEA spree tends not to outweigh a work trip. I sleep, with my called in IKEA goods only two short weeks away, my job well done, and I know, my life is complete.

[mykingdomfor]

URGENT! Family with sick infant and grandmother needs help!

I know there are many gofundme posts out there right now. I humbly ask for any kind of donation, any amount, for the family friends of a colleague, Nizar.

On October 18, the Nizar's home was bombed. "Screams came from every direction. Ambulance sirens began to approach our house, and paramedics arrived. We hadn't realized that our house had collapsed on us due to the destruction of the neighboring house. We all woke up to the screams that our beloved granddaughter had died, along with her younger sister and their mother, who was seven months pregnant."

There is an infant suffering from a rare disease causing liver hemorrhage, and a diabetic grandmother.

Their full story is under the cut.

Please please donate, and if you cannot please reblog and send to friends.

Hi this is Nizar,

I am from Gaza. I studied computer science I work as software engineer

I loved every single detail about my work, the tiniest details with my family and all the moments we had in this beloved city. All this fate has changed with everything going on in Gaza. The latest life-changing moment was in October.

On the evening of October 18th, the family gathered for dinner, sharing stories about our displacement from our home in North Gaza to a house in Rafah. Everyone was pondering what we would do the following morning when we woke up safe. However, we did not wake up in the morning; instead, we were awakened in the middle of the night by the rubble surrounding us. Screams came from every direction. Ambulance sirens began to approach our house, and paramedics arrived. We hadn't realized that our house had collapsed on us due to the destruction of the neighboring house. We all woke up to the screams that our beloved granddaughter had died, along with her younger sister and their mother, who was seven months pregnant. The house sheltered the grandfather, his wife, their 8 children, and their 14 grandchildren.

We emerged from the rubble, witnessing a tragic scene that was not familiar to this family, which had dreamt of a brighter future. The reality was hard to believe. It wasn't just the bitterness of separation we experienced but also other difficulties. One of the sisters, who was married, had given birth to Aya, who was diagnosed as a “Collodion baby” at birth. Aya, only four days old, was among those injured and suffered from a rare disease causing liver hemorrhage. She continues to suffer due to the lack of medical facilities needed to confront the challenges posed by this rare disease, which requires significant medical support and medication currently unavailable.

Adding to our worries about Aya, my grandma is also suffering from chronic diseases both diabetes and hypertension which also need medication.

This is just a fraction of our suffering. We lost not only safety but also our homes, living in displacement and famine. The family's breadwinners, who worked in computer engineering, lost their jobs, and the children lost their right to education. My sister Aya had only completed two years of university and now face losing their future educational opportunities.

Will this be the end of the hardships we face? Or are there compassionate hearts willing to help my family live safely?

We as a family decided to create this fundraising to try the last glimpse of hope to have a brighter future for our kids where they can live safely, have education and have any medication needed.

I am aiming to evacuate my family from Gaza to Egypt. The barrier to leaving is the coordination fee, amounting to $5,000 per adult and $2,500 for children which would cost roughly for all of us $62,500

Every donation will benefit a fundraising campaign that contributes to the coordination fees for the family's departure from Gaza to Egypt and the start of a new life. Your generosity, no matter its size, will make a tangible difference in the life of this grieving family."

[mayhem-neverending]

What Should Have Been Expected

Part II

Summary: Tobirama’s proposal journey.

Warnings: none

Edited.

Word Count: 1332

Part I Part III

Four months ago, Tobirama had been called to Hashirama’s office in the newly constucted Hokage Tower. He had a borderline serious expression when their eyes met, and Tobirama immediately straightened in alarm. 

“Elder brother, what is wrong? Has something happened?” He closed the door behind himself and stood at attention in the middle of the room. His older brother searched his eyes for a moment before speaking.

“Wrong isn’t the word I would use, per se,” 

Tobirama’s white brows pulled together. 

“As you know, we’ve been doing quite a bit of negotiating with the other clans.” He paused, eyeing his younger brother again. He held a few papers up and waved them around. “A couple of them have terms that I cannot meet,”

“Then we will continue negotiations,” Tobirama’s brows furrowed even deeper.

Hashirama sighed. “That’s not exactly what I meant... There are, well, three proposals of marriage; the Adachi, Reizei, and Nanke, specifically.”

Tobirama’s brows shot up. It didn’t take but a moment for him to understand what was being asked of him. “You want me to choose one,”

A smile broke out across Hashirama’s tan face. He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I would like you to postpone your work for a couple days to meet with the clan heads.”

“I don’t know if postponing my work is wise, Elder Brother, this village is still in its infancy,” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

Hashirama huffed, rolling his eyes. “Then take it with you. The Adachi and Nanke are only a day’s walk from each other. And the Reizei two days. It will not take you long, brother.”

His journey began with the Reizei. He arrived in the afternoon, warmed by the Fire Country’s winter sun, despite the sharp breeze that had followed him there. When he finally stepped in front of the compound, the guards on duty did not question him, just opened the gate. One of the men had even left his post in order to direct him to the front door. 

Tobirama was not impressed. He was not entirely familiar with the Reizei, despite briefly fighting alongside them in a skirmish when he was a child. He really thought there ought to be tighter security matters. 

He was escorted into their compound by a servant, and the guard scurried back to his post. Tobirama reached out with his chakra to get a clear image of the set up of the compound. There were thirty-nine individuals, only half of which had strong chakra signatures. 

The room he was led to was near the center of the compound. If he were attacked, he thought, it would be a disadvantageous position. 

The door slid open and he was met with the Clan head, Hiroshi, and his wife. He bowed to them respectfully and went to sit at the table. They exchanged quick greetings before getting down to business. He appreciated their celerity. 

Hiroshi snapped loudly at the servant that stood in the corner of the room, an awkward looking boy of probably twelve. “Retrieve Hana,” 

The boy nodded and all but ran from the room. All conversation ceased while they waited for his return with Hana. It was verging on uncomfortable when the door finally opened. 

Hiroshi instructed her to sit next to him, and when Tobirama got a good look at her, he blanched. The girl was certainly under eighteen. She still had baby fat in her face and her lanky frame was certainly not developed. 

This one, he decided instantly, would not do. He would not marry a child.

The Adachi compound treated him much the same, to his dismay. Where was the healthy suspicion? The fighting hadn’t stopped that long ago, and besides, you could never be too prepared.

Their daughter, while of age, did not interest Tobirama. He knew that it mattered little whether he enjoyed her or not, but he couldn’t help but find her boring. The allegiance of her family would bring some good to the village, but he didn’t know if he could justify the cost.

When he finally arrived at the Nanke compound, he was losing faith in the mission his brother had sent him on. He only hoped that the Nanke could negotiate better terms. 

At the stone gate, he was met with two guards. He nearly went to step to them like he had the last two, when he felt a surge of chakra. He stopped in his tracks. 

“State your name and your business.” The one on the right said, holding his blade firmly in his hand. 

This pleased him, and he replied in a booming voice. “I am Tobirama Senju, and I am here to discuss negotiations with Kazuko Nanke,”

The guard eyed him before turning to his companion. “Please inform Lord Nanke,”

He turned back to Tobirama. “You will wait here for him, you understand.”

Tobirama nodded. He adjusted his large pack on his back before crossing his arms. They waited in silence a good ten minutes before Lord Nanke appeared at the open gate. 

“Lord Senju, thank you for your patience.” He bowed, which Tobirama returned. 

“Please, follow me,” he gestured with a wide sweeping motion. 

Tobirama walked side by side with Kazuko. The stone pathway to the compound was lined with tall hedges almost the entire way to the door. Before the steps, however, it opened up to a space that he assumed was a garden in the warmer months. The main door was already open as they walked up the steps, and they spoke little as they walked to a large meeting room. It had a long table in the center, and was decorated with the family crest. The lord’s wife was already seated across from the door. She was a severe looking woman, with a pointed face and long blonde hair pulled in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. 

She stood and bowed to Tobirama, who returned the gesture. Her husband went to sit next to her and Tobirama sat down across from them, with his back to the door. His back to the door put him on edge, though he made no sign of his discomfort to his hosts.

“Welcome, Lord Senju,” the wife said once she had seated herself comfortably. 

“We are pleased that you have come. I think our cooperation could prove very beneficial,” Kazuko said. 

“Yes, I agree,” Tobirama nodded. 

They discussed the family’s trade, percentages, and marriage for over an hour before Tobirama asked where their daughter was. While what they were willing to offer was appealing, he had yet to see the woman of the hour.

The wife’s face soured slightly before returning its composure. “We had decided that the meeting would be unnecessary. She is not aware of us making a marriage contract. She has no need to know until it has been decided.”

Tobirama was about to speak up when Kazuko interjected, shooting a look at his wife. “If you wish to see her, I am happy to take you to the garden. She is with her brothers there now.”

 Tobirama eyed them carefully. This contract was the best sounding of the three, but this behavior was strange. He nodded once to them, curiosity getting the better of him, and Kazuko stood and led him down a long hallway. 

“Why have you kept a marriage contract from your daughter?” Tobirama asked plainly. 

Kazuko cleared his throat and kept his eyes forward. “Y/n is.. well, she is a very caring soul. And stubborn as a bull. I think she would oppose a contract because of her attachment to her young brothers.”

Tobirama mulled this information over. While he opposed of someone being put in a contract unwillingly, he could not deny that the village would benefit from this alliance. 

The two men made it to a doorway that opened to a large garden, albeit dead from the winter, he could see that the area was well taken care of. Kazuko put his arm in front of Tobirama to stop him from moving past the door frame, and that’s when he spotted them across the way. 

His breath caught in his throat. The Nanke heir was nothing short of stunning. Even in a heavy woolen cloak, her beauty was evident. Her bright smiling face, cheeks and nose tinged red from the winter wind, the sight made his tongue heavy in his mouth. He didn’t even notice when his mouth formed an ‘o’ at the sight.

A small boy jumped on her, and she caught him just barely, nearly falling at the contact and laughed in the most melodic tone he had ever heard. His eyes widened, and his ears tickled at the sound. His world paused as he watched.

“I,” he breathed, his voice not yet caught up to his thoughts. 

“What was that?” her father turned to face Tobirama fully with a raised brow. 

Tobirama tore his eyes away and cleared his throat. “I accept your proposal,”

[compacflt]

i’ve got a question about your writing process: in order to write a 30 year narrative, you create it out of hundreds of individual moments & actions, and each one has to function by itself and also part of a whole—have truth to itself and emotional resonance in a timeline. imo the key to doing this successfully is to care about each moment and make each one memorable, which seems very difficult: you have to get at the meat of the human behavior, believably, in a way that matters and explains and progresses the story, every time. and to write 200k words of it you do it hundreds of times! could you talk a bit about idea generation for each moment and how you brainstorm and write them?

omg an excuse to make more diagrams ! Thank you so much for this lovely ask!

okay: in case you don’t want to scroll through like four/five months of my inane icemav Poasting, I’ve done a couple other posts that go into my process — here about specifically chapter 1 and here about the fatal flaw of my fics from a construction standpoint

but from an idea generation standpoint… it’s pretty boring and cynical. I literally just make checklists. “things that HAVE to happen.” here’s my notes app check list of stuff that HAD to happen for the story to make sense in my rewrite of what is now chapters 8 & 9. this is from last december lol

and here’s a checklist/diagram of the major story beats and the changes in relationship dynamics throughout the story. any one of these dynamics changing reflects on the others in a way that‘s worth talking about. the hard part is finding a framing device or scene to talk about them.

the A plot of the fic is ice’s relationship with the navy, primarily. his arc is defined by his rank. so that’s the number 1 dynamic I wanted to focus on in such-and-such scenes, and why I stuck as stringently as possible to the “one rank per chapter” formula until ice got to the top & had to reckon with what being at the top actually means. His change in ranks is inspiration enough for most scenes because it shifts the dynamics in a way that is worth remarking upon in and of itself.

as an example im thinking of this scene (mostly because it’s short but also) because i think it’s kind of representative of how my idea generation process works

It fills a lot of gaps that i needed filled at that specific juncture in the story. the idea started with a stupid little section of dialogue in my head (mav would be surprised that ice’s official Navy docusign signature isn’t his actual signature) that happened to be symbolically relevant too (of course ice would have two different signatures for his two different personas). Then it morphed into a discussion of Ice’s canonically unhappy-looking compacflt portrait, which is canonically unhappy-looking. Then add onto that ice admitting he’s only happy at home (home obviously meaning with maverick, given that he’s literally in his house right now and still doesn’t feel like he’s home) and maverick telling him, “well that’s a problem that has literally the easiest fix in the world. youre making this way more complicated than it needs to be. just come home to me.”

so it’s literally just checking off boxes of things I wanted to talk about. as I said, a very cynical creation process. ✅ ice and mav doing the long-distance-relationship phone call thing (framing device for the whole scene). ✅ mav knowing ice’s real vs fake signature ❤️. ✅ ice’s canon unhappy compacflt portrait that makes an appearance in TGM. ✅ ice not feeling at home in Hawaii. ✅ ice not being fulfilled by the job & only being fulfilled by mav. ✅ ice coming up with excuses to see mav at any possible chance he gets. ✅ ice still obviously thinking of mav and Bradley as his family & maverick as his home. Etc etc. You see what i mean? how many stupid little ideas, symbols, and dynamic shifts can i cram into a page or so? that’s pretty much my thinking.

[sytokun]

The year is 2025. RWBY may or may not still be in hiatus, or cancelled, or still ongoing.

At least 50 more useless side characters have been added to the cast.

Maria and Pietro are still missing. Ruby comments by saying "Huh, I wonder where Maria and Pietro are". Yang replies "Maybe they're off on a date", Blake replies "Oddly wholesome" and they all laugh together.

The current villain is a dark-skinned male Faunus who happens to be a working-class family man who is fighting for a social issue that is oddly relevant to some real-life events in 2025. But it's okay guys, bad people corrupting noble causes is still totally a valid way to write villains.

Bumbleby is still not canon. Yes, they are still calling it a slow burn.

Cinder is still fucking alive, oh god why

Rooster Teeth has officially exhausted their entire supply of bright-eyed creators who aspired to work on RWBY. They finally hit their goal of either firing or expiring the contract of every last one. That'll teach them for having dreams.

The merch now consists of $500 shirts with RQBY sewn in microscopic fibre on the inside of the fabric. The show name was misspelled in the first print run, but enough people complained about it that RT just went "alright, fuck you guys" and didn't bother to change it since.

About half of RT's legacy staff have confirmed to be in some sort of really fucked up scandal. The other half made callout docs and tweets, which caused the fandom to be angry for a week before they went back to sharing fanart as usual.

RT is now currently using a new production pipeline, where every single animator's contract only lasts for a single episode, before they leave and they find new people to animate the next one. They're hoping to further optimise this process next year by making it per scene instead.

There is a new RWBY side anime coming out, animated by prestigious animation studio Cocomelon.

An entire team of four unambiguously queer Hunters were killed onscreen. CRWBY has blamed the first death on a team of rogue, disobedient animators accidentally drawing her kissing a girl and confessing her undying sapphic love for her - she wasn't meant to be seen as a lesbian. The second death was blamed on the fans, the crew saying "this was supposed to be a side character, but you all started liking her and demanding more screentime for her, so fuck you" in the Volume commentary. The third was a monkey Faunus with comically yellow skin, squinted eyes and a long moustache named Mu Fanchu whose Semblance involves him making monkey noises and his weapon is a giant banana - surprisingly, he turned out to be secretly evil. The fourth just died offscreen because she was a fan character who won an OC fan design contest, but they had no time to include her in the show - in fact, the time her death was mentioned was the very first and only time the character was introduced.

Jaune says onscreen "Somehow, Ironwood has returned."

Green Dust is now Fire Dust, which Eddy confirms in a Reddit post - not in r/RWBY, but in an obscure reply in r/fantasygeology. No one found that post until 2 months later and when asked, the reply was "Green fire exists, I can see how you can get them confused".

Ozpin has now reincarnated into Oswald Pint, one of eight new boys currently with RWBY's group and for some reason have more screentime and agency than the girls. Oscar died in Volume 11 Episode 3 in a sickeningly distressing torture scene - that's the episode, the whole episode was the torture scene.

The fandom is abuzz over the newest queer rep in the show: a talking glass of water named Clear, who is genderfluid.

RT releases a RWBY mobile game only available in two postcodes, is not written in English and discontinues it after 3 months due to "stupid fucking fans not engaging with our products". Fans continue to insist that somehow, this must still be either WayForward or SHAFT's fault.

Jaune Vs. Aquaboy is slated to release next year. In fact, Volume 11 stopped in the middle of Episode 4 and will be on hiatus for the next 3 years until the crossover is out.

Speaking of Jaune, he just killed Nora. In fact, he did it just as I was posting this. Oh, he's killed Ruby too. And Clear our genderfluid queen, and Aquaboy as well. Oh god, he's looking this way, help me

The year is 2025, and if one thing hasn't changed, it's that hardcore RWBY stans are still around. When asked about the state of RWBY, they had this to say:

"RWBY is still amazing, and CRWBY is still amazing. Shame about those queer and PoC employees... oh well! I'm supporting manufactured fictional minorities so same thing, really."

[theyellowroseofsodor]

Chapter 1 - Leaving Home

As per requested I will be posting my fanfic here as well now. It'll take a few days to get the whole thing up, I'm busy right now due to Thanksgiving/Black Friday, but eventually everything will be posted here as well.

It was the only way to keep her safe.  That’s what the four engine brothers told themselves as they walked through the New York airport.  With steam engines being viewed with less and less kindness and with the world still in the mindset that machines needed to be useful or suffer a fiery fate, Camille wasn’t in a safe place.  She needed to–had to–go.  This was the best option for her.

Each was silent as they made their way through the crowd, eyes on each of them.  Although the United States had done well with keeping freedoms for what they called Living Machines, when they were in their human forms people still had a tendency to stare.  It didn’t help that five of them were all together at the time.  Midas smiled and waved as many noticed the lettering of the US NAVY on his wings, but the other three brothers grumbled their way through the crowd.

Camille smiled nervously at people as they recognized her as an engine, the wheels at her feet were a dead give away.  Occasionally a child would pump their arms at her and she would whistle at them.  Others recognized the family from the news article.  Sometimes it was hard to escape the prejudices of their parents as they had literally built their own family.  Some people agreed, others not so much.  It was abnormal and sometimes that was a curse.  Her brothers were vigilant about keeping people away for the most part.  An ugly look or two came their way, but the stature of her brothers kept people from approaching.

As they neared the security gates that were specifically for living machines, Camille sucked in a deep breath.  This was it.  She was leaving for good and her brothers couldn’t come with her any further.  Each walked with her up to where she had her ID and her ticket checked.

With a hug, Midas whispered in her ear, “We’re going to miss you, little flower.”

Camille tried her best to keep the tears from forming in her eyes as she hugged each one, getting a similar response.  She couldn’t help but laugh as Rocket did his best to cover his own tears.

“It’s just being in this city.  I hate cities and it makes me cry being around this many people.  We need a new plague.”  He joked through sniffles.

Bull rolled his eyes and handed his sister her duffle, “Just don’t let those red coat engines push you around too much.  Remind them we won the war.”

Camille laughed and sighed, “And now we’re allies.  They’re gonna be my new friends and coworkers, y’know?” Oh

“Bah..” Bull responded with a gentle smile, “Take care of yourself, kid.  Keep in touch.”

Zephyr gave her a little nudge and then a hug, “We’ll bring you home if you need us too, but I’m sure you’ll put those big sausage engines in their place.  You’ve got a good bark and a whole lotta bite.”  He seemed to be the only one that wasn’t terribly emotional.  He winked, “You’re tough kid.  Texas tough.  I have no doubts you’ll be running circles around those Brits in no time.”

Camille laughed again, “You know it!  I’ll be fine!”

The security guard cleared his throat and handed her her items back, “You’re clear to go.”

Midas gave her one last hug, “You don’t want to miss your flight.”

Camille took a few steps backwards, “I won’t.  Promise.”  She started putting her backpack and duffle on the conveyor belt.  She looked back one last time at her brothers as they backed out of the line.  She took a deep breath and gave her biggest grin and waved with both hands.

“I’ll call soon!  As soon as I land!”  She shouted.

The parting was too quick for all of them.  She turned to walk through the scanner designed for their kind and then Camille was on her way.

The flight was less than desirable.  Halfway across the world the plane was subjected to a storm.  Although Midas had gone over the different possibilities and causes of turbulence with her, feeling it for the first time was truly overwhelming.  Although the plane was fairly booked, Camille found herself alone in her aisle for the most part.  Many of the passengers were getting airsick due to the storm.  Despite the fact that she was nervous and she felt that her stomach was full of bubbling mess, she didn’t feel sick.  She kept herself focusing on what London would be like and then Sodor itself.  She did a bit of research upon learning about the safe haven for steam engines.  She read about a wonderful castle there and was hoping one day she would be able to visit.  She loved all things knights, horses, and the medieval.  It seemed like a dream come true to be living in such a wonderful place, even if she would have rather stayed back home.

She read about Sir Topham Hatt and the awards he and his team of engines had received.  They seemed like such a talented group; even their newest engines.  Would she fit in?  Would the engines be kind?  She began to worry that maybe she wouldn’t be really needed and was just a pity case.  Would they be upset at her invading their space?  Would they dislike her because of being an American engine?  What if they couldn’t understand her accent?  Was her accent that bad?  What if all the engines were big like her brothers had said and were stuffy?  Would they be like some of the BBC shows she had watched?  But the question that bothered her the most was would they be accepting of her, an engine that had hardly worked as was basically raised human?  A phrase that stuck out on the article she had read about them all was how they were “really useful”.

A particular heavy drop and thump pulled her from her spiral.  She inhaled and held her breath for a few seconds, calming herself down.  It would only be an hour longer before they landed.  She chuckled to herself as she realized she hadn’t slept really, which was the original plan.  She looked out the window of the plane and noticed the rain.  It reminded her of how far away from home she was, as if to say she was on her own now.  She had rather hoped it would be bright and sunny when she landed to help her personality bloom.

Unfortunately for Camille, it was still raining when they landed.  It was odd how like the USA it looked to her at first.  It felt so familiar yet so foreign.  But that gave her hope, if it looked familiar and felt familiar then maybe it would be easier to acclimate.

She quickly called her brothers, who she realized were probably asleep, and then settled on a group message announcing her arrival in London.  With that done, it was time to find her way to the baggage reclaim area to meet up with the conductor that was supposed to take her to King’s Cross Station.  She spotted him easily as she made her way down the escalator, in the familiar blue uniform.  He held a sign that held her name with a little rose drawn on it.  She smiled and waved at him and he waved back happily.

“The Yellow Rose of Texas , I presume?”  He asked kindly, “Welcome to the United Kingdom.  I hope your travels were kind.”

“You can just call me Camille.  The Yellow Rose is such a long name and if I can I’d like to be a bit less formal.”  She smiled, “But yes, it was a good trip.”

The man smiled at her, taking in her small and shaking form. “My, even Thomas isn’t this small.  I wonder how she’ll fare. He thought to himself.  “Shall we collect your luggage?”

“Oh!  No, this is everything.” Camille shrugged her shoulders with her backpack on and bounced the duffle, “I packed light.”

The man seemed surprised, “You traveled across the world with such little luggage?  That’s impressive.”  He held his arm out to show her the way.

Camille laughed, “Well, when you’re as teeny as me, clothes pack easier.  Plus, I ain’t much for what most lady’s need.  I was more into sports and video games than pretty dresses and makeup.”

The man laughed and nodded as they approached the parking garage, “Well I’m sure if you need anything else you’ll be able to find it on Sodor or be able to get it easily from the mainland.  Of course, if you have time for that sort of thing.  Sir Topham Hatt runs a pretty tight schedule, but his engines do well with it.”

Camille gave a nervous chuckle as he opened the car door for her, “I… I haven’t worked a lot.  I’m fairly new…and my…” she gave him a sheepish look, “my father raised me mostly human.  I hope I live up to everyone’s expectations.”

“I’m sure you’ll do splendidly.  The way your family spoke of you, I believe you will find your way one way or another.”

The rest of the drive was a bit quiet as Camille took in the new world around her.  She asked a few questions about the UK and what Sodor was like.  Eventually it was revealed that she wouldn’t be driving to Sodor alone.  That seemed to relax her.

“So, what’s this engine like that I’ll be going with?  Are we double heading or am I just driving beside them?

“I think you’ll like him a lot.  He’s a particularly famous engine.” The conductor said, trying to be a little mysterious.

“Famous?”  Camille sat up, “How famous?”

“Worldwide.  In fact, he goes to Sodor on occasion for his passengers who wish to visit the island.”

Camille sat still as she went through the famous engines in her mind.  There were a couple in mind and they all made her feel a little antsy inside.  Despite having a famous brother herself, the idea of being in the presence of a famous engine, someone who was built like her, made her want to jump out of the car and nope right back to the airport.

“This engine… is he big?”

“Very.  Big, fast, lean, and green.” He grinned.

“The Flying Scotsman.” She barely said above a whisper, her eyes widening, “You all paired me with The Flying Scotsman?!”

The conductor laughed as he noticed her legs began to jump with a nervous bouncing, “We humans did no such thing.  Like I said, he goes to Sodor to drop his passengers off and pick some up on occasion between his tours.  Since you’re new here he decided he would drive alongside you.  He felt it wasn’t proper for a new, young lady engine to have to make that sort of drive by herself.”

“Well ain’t that neighborly of him.” Camille responded nervously, her accent slipping in her anxiousness.

“Well, he does figure himself to be a lady’s man.  Despite being 100 years old his human form and features are that of a young man and he is a bit of a flirt.  He’s a good fellow though.  I’ve never known him to be an aggressive sort of pushy.  There’s no finer engine I would suggest taking care of you, miss.”

Camille’s legs began to shake less with the confirmation from the conductor.  She looked him up and down, “Are you going with me?”

He shook his head, “Afraid not, miss.  My place is here.  But your own fireman and driver will be waiting for you at the station.  We’re just about there and right on time too.  Sir Topham Hatt picked them out specifically for you and your personality; well, based upon what your brothers said.”

Camille exhaled, trying to remove the nerves as she watched the signs amongst the busy roads point towards King’s Cross Station.  She found herself ready to be in her new home, whether berth or bed, and ready for her anxieties to calm down.

As they entered King’s Cross, Camille practically trotted to keep up with the Conductor.  She was rather small in human form, even for a tank engine.  But the bouncy gait was helping her from shaking all over the place as she looked around the station at the many engines.  Streamlined, diesel, steam, they were all there and they were all ginormous.  Upon noticing her own wheels, they looked either shocked or unamused at her being on two feet instead of working.  Some blew steam towards her or said a rather hurtful comment.  For the most part, Camille ignored them.  She was too focused on getting to her new home and following the conductor.

Just when she thought her heart was going to explode straight from her chest, she heard a rather melodic horn and saw the infamous green livery and two tenders of The Flying Scotsman.  For a moment, she stopped in her tracks, shocked at the situation in front of her and the large engine on the tracks.  The conductor that had been ever so kind to her was ahead and talking to two men in blue uniforms.

That must be my fireman and driver.  She realized.  Another deep breath and Camille took brave steps forward, trying to emulate her brother's bravery and splendor.  If anything, she couldn’t be cowardly, that wasn’t the Texas way.  She was supposed to be bold, brave, and nothing resembling nervousness.  This was no time to be timid.

She shook herself and walked up to the group as the Conductor turned her way.  He smiled, “Camille, this is Dallas and Edan.  Dallas will be your driver and Edan is your fireman.”

She shook hands with them both in an eager manner as both men seemed to be full of vim and vigor, “Nice to meet you.” she said.

“Ay, lass, it’s a pleasure to be working with a famous engine such as yourself.” Edan said with a thick Scottish accent.

“I hear you’re quite the spitfire back in your home state.  It’ll be great talking with someone with the same interests.” Dallas said, “Not to mention me being named after your own capital.”

Camille laughed, “I’m very excited.” The nerves began to settle a little when she heard someone clear their throat.

She turned to see the grinning face of The Flying Scotsman, “As one famous engine to another, let me welcome you to the United Kingdom.”

Camille hoped she was managing to suppress what she knew was a blush.  He was indeed a very handsome engine, like the conductor had said.  His voice however, was truly enamoring… and those eyes.  She found herself stumbling a bit before she answered, “I’m nothing compared to you, sir.  Everyone knows who The Flying Scotsman is.  The Yellow Rose, eh, not so much.”

He laughed at this comment, “You can call me Scotsman.  The whole thing is a lot to say. As for the fame, you’re still a young thing give it time.”  He grinned,  “An engine raised human hasn’t been heard of before, yet here you are.  One that sings, dances, and so on, I’m very excited to see what you make of Sodor, Yellow Rose.”  He winked.

Camille thought she was going to melt there on the spot and gave a nervous chuckle, “ If I’m going to call you Scotsman, you can call me Camille.  Or Cam, that’s what my brothers call me.  ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas’ is such a mouthful.”  She gave a small smile, “I’m not so sure I’ll make anything out of Sodor though.  The real question is what it’s going to do with me.”            

Scotsman hummed in response and nodded to the rails beside him, “We shall see, won’t we.  Care to join me?”

“We should be getting ready to go.  Can’t be late for your meet n’ greet with the others.” Edan said.

Camille nodded and put her bags down, hoping down to the rails besides the Flying Scotsman.  She took a deep breath as the gold dust switched her into her engine form, her wheels fitting nicely on the rails. She blinked a few times, getting her bearings.  As she shook her boiler to relax she couldn’t help but notice the Scotsman eyes on her.

“Something on my face?”  She asked jokingly.

He grinned back, “No, no, nothing at all.” He cleared his throat, “But I can tell Sodor is in for a surprise with you.  You’re quite the looker in your engine form.”

“See, now, now you’re just being a flirt.”  She said happily, “Are all big famous engines like you?”

Scotsman laughed, “No, they’re worse. I’m a gentleman through and through.  You seem to be all fired up though, or is it the nerve talking”

Camille felt her firebox warm up as Edan and Dallas got her all ready to go, “Don’t you know that us small engines are full of spitfire?  Great things come in small packages.”  She grinned and hissed a bit of steam playfully.  Her nerves were just about all gone.  The Flying Scotsman’s open personality was just what she needed to start feeling at home, even if she wasn’t in Sodor yet.

“Oh ho, really?”  The Scotsman asked, “And how much fire does this Texas spitfire have?”

“If I could rev myself up, I would right now.”  She said in a competitive tone, with a wink and a small playful hiss of steam. 

The Flying Scotsman gave a playful scoff, “You want to challenge me to a race?  On your first day here?  Are you sure about that?”

Camille rolled her eyes, “Well, I probably shouldn’t.” She said playfully, “As it’s my first day and I don’t know anything about where I’m going.  Plus, aren’t you supposed to be all gentlemanly and show me the way?”  She batted her eyelashes at him.

He laughed, “I think I’m going to like you, spitfire.  But yes, I will be the gentleman and show you the way.”  He whistled as he was given the signal to go. Camille smiled big and whistled as well, following close beside him.  All the nerves were gone as she began to joke and talk with the bigger engine, ranging from what back home was like to her favorite hobbies amongst the humans.  Scotsman listened to her and matched her personality with his own, talking of his own adventures in America.  Camille couldn’t have asked for a better start to her new journey in a new land.

Next Chapter

[toomanywordsnllines]

Finally got a decent enough drawing to talk a little more about Many!

First I would like to introduce Many's world. Their jewel and their reason to live.

Their little potato - Mimi! (One day I'll make a comic with how the task came to know Mimi but all you have to know is that: The task did not know of her existence, only the captain) she's technically a little older then just a baby but I wanted to show... This side of Many.

So let's talk about Many!

As you can see, they're a parent of a very entusiastic 4 year old (Mimi is hard of hearing and has terrible eye sight since very young (Many calls her, their 'little bat'). Besides other health problems. Many goes far and beyond to make sure she has everything she needs and desires.)

Many had her before joining the task force and that period of time is erased from their file... for privacy reasons.

Child things aside-

There are four (more or less set to stone) rules about Many

1. Don't ask about what's under the mask (unless you want to get on their bad side, then congratulations, you already made half your way there, if not try to redeem your error (good luck)) and per consequence. Don't touch the mask;

2. Don't ask them to emote more (You think they should laugh more? Keep that to yourself unless you want a very hurtful/snappy/rude response);

3. Don't talk about their appearance or what you think they might look like (same thing as point 1, but this one is just Speedrun for them to hate you/avoid you like the plague (if it was a mistake… good luck trying to remedy it));

4. Never make a big deal about them forgetting something (unless it's very urgent or life threatening) (this is the hardest rule to come around and understand because instead of lashing out they just… stop and turn off. Shut down.)

This may make them sound a little like an asshole. But they live by the rule of "I wouldn't ask anyone something like that because it's weird and uncomfortable, so why would anyone ask me that??" (Don't do to others what you wouldn't like to be done to you)

As, I think I said in some other post, Many doesn't have a very tragic backstory.

They grew up with their mother and two siblings (one older, another younger) in a modest appartment. Their father was out working but was always extremly suportive and caring. Loving parents loving family.

Some problems making friends but... pretty alright-

Teenagehood was rough, complicated and ugly and that's where most of their problems started. Because of an incident that happen when they were small (which resulted in 'brain damage' but not like 'worrying' (that's what the doctors said- they were... so wrong)) Their control of their emotions was... almost non existent. Very emotional and empathetic. Very explosive and angry. Messy.

Teenage years didn't make that better... only worse.

Developed severe Athazagoraphobia (fear of forgetting someone or something, as well as a fear of being forgotten) which got worse after they got a concussion and got mild amnesia of the event.

They almost tore and entire room apart, from their panic.

And that's where the panic attacks and anxiety also started full swing.

The fear was born because of their Prosopagnosia (also known as face blindness, in which he is unable to recognize faces) caused by the incident and that... only got worse with age.

Their Prosopagnosia is so... bad to the point where they cannot remember their own face at all (only eye color and hair color) and the Athazagoraphobia was so severe that the two mixed and they developed a form of face dysmorphia (which as you can imagine... only made everything worse)

That's... almost all the story behind the mask

They could not control what other people say and do so... they took the control out of people for there to be any stray comments.

Also It makes it easier for them to describe their face (just a blank white mask) that's why you can only see their eyes and that's why they leave their hair mostly uncovered (things they can remember).

Now if you read the four rules... you can understand why they exist. It's self persevation mixed with self sabotage.

And it's because of that emotional sensitivity that they joined the military (no one wanted them to do it. Their mother begged them not to. But the feeling of being constatly lost and at the brink of exploding all at the same time? was too much and they just felt they needed to be put in line... By people who didn't care about their feelings).

As you can imagine- and seeing how I've drawn them so far- you can see that it suceded somehow. Though is a very negative side. Bottling everything up to the point of apathy and desinterest.

Thankfully it didn't kill them completly... And you can see that.

One mission was enough to make them see that... they didn't need to hide everything and so they didn't. They observe and they look out for others. They care so so much. It's painful. It's so painful but it's the last thing that makes them feel human so they lean into it.

Even though they don't share their name, it's not an actual secret. It's written on their dog tags- First and Last- people just take Many's, quite honestly, scary exterior and don't really get close. Many isn't really a secret, they just live by the rule of, ask if you want information, and if they trust you, they'll share.

They keep it a 'secret' mostly because they cherish the name imensly. It's really important for them.

Also they like the whole being a little anonymus (relief when no one knows who you are, also it helps them train their memory).

They keep a journal to note down things (a human mind can remember so much) and keep a photo of everyone they know there so they can also remember their faces.And although they have... everything more under control then they ever had since young

(And you could feel their relief when they meet the team and see a lot of them use things like masks or glasses or have painted hair or have prominent scars. Things easy to remember.)

And although they have... everything more under control then they ever had since young. There's still moments:

They still have nasty panic attacks. But especially when they forget things (small or big). Or when someone asks them to describe someone they saw/know, and don't take a 'I don't remember as an answer'. (Because it's out of their control-)

They do not look at mirrors or whatever. Avoid them like the plague.

And they still have... self destructive tendencies... (I'll talk more about it on another post but- yeah) BOY THAT GOT LONG MY BAD-

[quill-of-thoth]

Letters from Watson, catching up

The Speckled Band: Crimes in Context Inheritance The Speckled Band is the first example we’re getting in this reading order of a sub-genre of Holmes’ cases: inheritance crimes against women, so to understand it we’re going to have to take a look at the structure of Victorian inheritance. Thankfully, it is usually spelled out what each woman in canon is entitled to - unfortunately this is because the law could not be relied upon to guarantee her anything.  Modernly, inheritance is something that someone might get when a relative dies: It was a more common concern in the victorian era, where the life expectancy for anyone who survived to the age of five is cited by papers I was able to find as anything from 60 to 75, (Compared to pre-covid numbers of early 80′s - 79 for males, 83 for females - in the UK, according to the ONS [Office of National Statistics], and 79 in the US according to the CDC.) Infectious disease prior to antibiotics, the number of wars that the British empire was waging at any given time, and a maternal mortality rate of around five percent meant that adults dying young, or suddenly, was more common than today. It was also not expected that middle and upper class women would work outside the home: if they did it was usually a sign that the family was not doing well, and in danger of no longer being middle class. A number of Holmes’ clients are women in this specific economic position: with less economic security or control over their finances because they were unmarried, often working as a governess, one of the jobs considered appropriate for unmarried middle class women. The majority of them have some sort of inheritance or trust that they have extremely limited access to until they marry - at which point the money is legally theirs, and they can set up trusts for their children as they see fit.  The structure of these trusts and inheritances makes them ripe for abuse by male guardians: while a parent might leave their daughters a hefty sum, they might also leave the money somewhat accessible by other male relatives to provide for the daughters’ schooling, social opportunities, etc. Since the daughters would have no means of securing more money of their own (due to not working) this custodial arrangement could last indefinitely.  Helen Stoner’s mother had, either via a trust or inheritance, a thousand pounds (92,000 pounds / 113,000 USD) per year. She was married to an officer, and widowed when her twins were less than a year old (inferring from the two year mourning period.) Likely she didn’t know Dr. Roylott very well at the time of their marriage, but a marriage would mean that she and her children didn’t have to find their own way back from India. Dr. Roylott had an estate but not the money to support it - a thousand pounds a year plus whatever he made while in India,  would definitely help in that regard. 

About ten years ago Dr. Roylott murdered a member of their household staff in India, and only barely escaped execution for it. Possibly because the man he murdered was Indian rather than British, possibly because the Roylotts were pretty rich by the standards of where they were residing and the murdered man was a servant. Either way, the family returned to England legally and financially in the power of a very violent man, and although the Stoner twins were in their late teens or early twenties at the time they were as powerless to leave the household as their mother, who had signed over her entire fortune to the man until her daughters’ marriage. Mrs. Roylott died in an accident shortly after their return. I can only infer that her husband having sole control of six figures (four figures at the time) except for a post-marriage portion for each daughter was only in effect until her death. Therefore, Dr. Roylott decides to return to his hereditary estates and isolate his stepdaughters there - much less chance of their getting married if they’re removed from London society and all the neighbors are terrified of him.  Family Abuse Helen doesn’t go into a lot of detail about Dr. Roylott’s behavior to herself, her sister, and their mother, but based on what we know modernly about men who are constantly committing violent acts in their community, and the evidence that he abused Helen, it is very likely that Dr. Roylott abused his wife. While Watson records Helen as saying that her mother died in a train accident while the family lived in London, he would have had a motive to fictionalize that - if Mrs. Roylott was killed, likely beaten to death like his previous victim, by her husband it would be more scandalous than him beating a servant to death in India, more traceable by acquaintances of the family, and less suitable material for a family magazine. A man murdering his stepdaughters via snake may have felt more appropriate to the Victorian audience than spousal abuse.  Murder, and Milk-Drinking Snakes Dr. Roylott definitely murdered Julia Stoner, is attempting to murder Helen, and for the purposes of Watson’s story, the murder weapon is a venomous snake. There are a lot of inconsistencies surrounding the snake. Julia’s autopsy found no trace of poison, but it’s always possible that faced with a venomous snake from India, the coroner didn’t know what to look for. There are no obvious snakebite marks, but it’s also possible to miss those. The snake is apparently trained to respond to whistles and rewarded by drinking milk. Snakes, are, however, reptiles: while you can train them to be accustomed to human handling, training them to enter a vent and return is very implausible. They also don’t digest lactose, and don’t even need to drink very often. There’s also the fact that you can’t just throw a snake in a room with a sleeping person and be sure that it will bite them, and that it will deliver a fatal dose of venom if it does. This is a lot of implausibilities, bordering on impossibilities. It makes a person wonder if one of the alleged “impossibilities” that were previously examined is possible after all. Particularly if one has coincidentally been reading how locks work. The modern door lock is not infallible, but it is significantly more complex than the late victorian door lock: we have better precision machining, so on average there are more springs and pins inside the lock, and more and smaller teeth on the key. Meaning that it takes longer to pick a lock using little tools to press each pin into the correct position, and also that you have to be more precise about the position. Because Stoke Moran is an old manor that was uninhabited for approximately twenty years while the Roylott-Stoner family lived in India, and the family fortunes were low since the regency, it’s unlikely to have modern (for the era) locks. At a guess, the latest the locks could have been updated is the 1810′s.  It is extremely possible for a doctor, who presumably has some skill with surgical tools, and who has plotted for several months to murder his stepdaughter to prevent her marriage, to spend that time learning to pick a by then obsolete lock, instead of importing and training a snake. It’s equally possible for him to have access to a variety of poisons, whether they were thought to have any medical use or not, since the Victorian household used a lot of poisons as pesticides. Then too, he receives goods from India regularly - it doesn’t have to be a common poison. It could even actually be snake venom: though the first process of milking snakes for venom in order to test antidotes was published in 1891, it’s possible that there were significantly earlier, unrecorded attempts. Especially considering how many people throughout history have wanted to poison each other.  A more plausible scenario is that Julia was murdered in the following way: Dr. Roylott looked through the vent, which must be large enough to try to see through if a decently sized snake can squeeze through it, to check that she was asleep, making a slight noise and shedding just enough light that he could see if she was lying awake in the dark or not, and on the nights that it did not wake her, he opened the door, possibly by picking the lock, possibly because the doors to his stepdaughters’ bedrooms were never actually secure, administered some kind of poison, possibly by injection, and left her there to die. Julia woke up as the poison ran its course, tried to light a candle, screamed, and was found by her sister. Dr. Roylott gave her brandy, knowing that it would do nothing, and waited.  When the time came to murder Helen, he first attempted to intimidate her. “Livid” bruises, or bluish black ones, are two days to around a week old. Dr. Roylott, if the housekeeper leaves once Helen is gone, cannot maintain the family home on his own - as a landed gentleman he would not know how, and when he attempted to hire servants they left immediately. Helen is doing some, possibly still a full half, of the work of the house that keeps him comfortable.  She also worked her hardest to keep the family name in acceptable shape whenever he attacked another person in their community, it’s possible that made life much easier for him. And a coroner faced with two mysterious deaths in the same household in two years is going to be suspicious, even if the official cause of Julia’s death is basically listed as fright.  Maybe he tried a similar tactic on Julia, maybe he didn’t: both twins were slightly old for a first marriage, with Julia dead at thirty and Helen now thirty two. If he could scare either into calling it off, the chances of their marrying would decrease every year. 

 The intimidation of Helen failed - he had her moved into the bedroom he could most easily access. He checked whether she was asleep. She wasn’t: she lit the lamp immediately, but he had plenty of time. He was already going to london on business in the morning, possibly even to make sure he would have no trouble accessing her inheritance (though likely under the pretense of checking in on it so it would properly be distributed to her upon her marriage). If he’d managed to administer the poison that night, an early morning trip to the city might even give him an alibi - of course he hadn’t seen her since a decent hour the night before, he was up early to do business in town! He assumed the dear girl was still asleep. She works so hard, you know, and with her wedding coming up - and remembering her sister’s tragic demise only two years ago - she must be exhausted.  Either the housekeeper would discover her death at some point in the day while he was gone, or he could “discover” her death quite late upon his return, leaving even less for the coroner to conclude, but that won’t stop him from trying again tomorrow night, since he can always adjust his story, with only the elderly housekeeper able to deny it.  Imagine his surprise when he finds that she’s gone to London - to see a detective, no less! She has no evidence, and even if Holmes sees her bruises it’s not like he has any standing to intervene, but Roylott rages and threatens him anyway. And when Roylott finds Holmes and Watson on his estate at night, investigating, with his stepdaughter missing, he attacks them: one of them shoots him in self defense. It’s also possible that he did meet his end because of one of his exotic pets, loose in the night, while pursuing them.  Nearly a decade later, perhaps immediately after successfully publishing a dramatic tale regarding he and Holmes coming to the aid of a young woman connected with exotic crimes in India, Watson recalls the adventure, begins to write it up, and realizes halfway through that it’s a simple tale of greed and cruelty. Eventually, he inserts the snake for a dash of the fantastic, obscures Helen’s identity further, and publishes it anyway, because although Helen is dead, he’s still proud of the work he and Holmes did saving her life, freeing her from her abusive stepfather, and allowing her to spend her too-brief married life in relative peace. If he had to, he’d do it again.

[pizzacatdelight]

My Birthday

Yay, today’s my birthday! I turned 28 years old! And avoided the dreaded “27 Club” where some of the biggest musicians from the 60s’ and 70s’ died when they were 27 years old! (They mainly died due to massive drinking, doing drugs, etc.…)

My 27th year on this planet was not a good one. Early this year, I quit my toxic part-time job at a well-known pizza restaurant that I won’t name. I got scammed into paying for my own equipment for a new job I thought it was a job, but wasn’t. So, I lost over $2,000 because of it and I have to freeze my credit scores to keep the scammers from opening any new credit cards under my name! Then there’s the fact I can’t even find a job that would even hire me due to both my disability and my limited skill list! I even got rejected from getting Disability (or SSI); two months later because of the fact I even had a job!

At home, my youngest niece graduated from high school in June and instead of going to University, she’s working a full-time job at Sally’s Beauty in order to save up money to buy her own car since the car her mom gave her last year and it‘s too expensive to go University right now. My only nephew started 11th grade last month, which means once he graduates in 2025, mom’s planning to sell the family house. She told me and my older sister this back in March/April where after she sold the house; she’s planning to (probably) move to Oregon to get away from the politics of conservative Texas and to retire. Of course, we’re going to move with her as she’s planning to buy land and build a condo house where my sister and I can live on one side of the condo.

For my hobbies, on the other hand, they’re doing great! I beat over 15 games this year, which include “Pokémon: Emerald”, “Hypnospace Outlaw”, “Fire Emblem: Three Houses - Cindered Shadows DLC” and “The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog”. “BAD END THEATER” became the first Steam game where I 100% all the achievement. I preordered “Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom” a few days before it came out in May and played it on release day. I remembered staying up all night going around Hyrule, completing the Shrines and not being dicks to the Koroks who only wanted to be reunited with their friends. I’m looking forward to the release of the remaster of “Super Mario RPG”, which comes out in less than two months! I saw four LPs of the game in the past and played it myself for the WiiU. I can’t wait for it to come!

My webcomic is going along. I just finished Chapter 9 and I’m currently taking a small break from it to focus on making this site. I changed how I publish my comics, where I used to release 6-7 pages at a time. But now, I have changed it to 2 pages per week, which means I’ll get more views compared to what I did before. I’m planning to post the links to my webcomic here; I’ll have to find the motivation to do so.

I also made a Tumblr account in June after Reddit decided that they're going to start pricing the 3rd party apps that use its’ code (Apollo, you will be missed). While things are great on Tumblr, I have to get used that most of everyone there is very left-leaning compared to Reddit, where everyone is either in the center or right-leaning, depending on the subject. Yes, I know there are left-leaning people and subreddits there, but it’s the right-leaning groups that are the ones who make the headlines. At least the fandom on Tumblr is way nicer compared to Reddit, where you get attacked for saying or doing something that the fandom subreddit doesn’t like. It’s the reason why I was too scared to either post or comment on Reddit.

Then early this month, I made a NeoCities website and learned how to code again after 11 years. It’s not easy and sometimes it’s even frustrating when you want to do something cool to your page and the code won’t work! At least coding is a skill I can use when I try to look up jobs since it’s one of the most important skills that businesses need. And I also started to blog to write about my thoughts as well. I’ve been doing it on Tumblr for a while, so now I have two sites to pour it all out.

As for what I will be doing for my birthday, it’s not going to be much as I tend not to ask for a lot. I know mom normally gives me a $50 Amazon gift card so I can buy something nice for myself. And I already have plans to make brownies for desserts since we have so much flour and a huge box of brownie mix is in the cabinet.

So yeah, my 27th birthday wasn’t that great, but it could’ve been worse. I hope my 28th year will be a little better and things will improve.

[seldnei]

Taking stock of the writing: 2023

For any new followers: this is my annual post about my writing in the past year.  This is purely for my own mental health–the tag says “seldnei is tired of feeling like a slacker” for a reason.  Please feel free to skip.

So what did I accomplish in 2023?

Well, it was a helluva year, again.  We’ve acquired another teenager, with all that entails, which is a good thing overall but definitely added some chaos.  My boss retired earlier than expected, so day job went sideways for a while.  My cousin died, which was entirely unexpected.  My father died, which was both more and less unexpected.  Also the eldest BFF’s mom died, which was not traumatic for me, per se, but being able to spend a week with him was, like acquiring Q, a good thing surrounded by chaos.  Oh, and Z got his ADHD diagnosis, which has triggered some interesting realizations about the assumed neurotypicality of everyone in the household.  We are, in fact, that family who said, “But that can’t be a ‘disorder’; everyone is like that, right?”

I am exhausted, and my brain feels not only full but occasionally like it’s eating itself with self-analysis.

BUT.  I am here.  And I wrote things.

Stories/Poems/Etc.

Finished the second Exorcist story, and decided it did need to be mashed up with the first one.  I dunno, it’s still cuter than I like. 

Did the requested rewrite on the Teachout camel story, and got rejected again (I vaguely recall this as another rewrite request, but I could be wrong and can’t be arsed to dig through my email right now). I kind of think this editor and I have fundamentally different ideas as to what these stories are.  Keep this in mind as I get into future plans, btw, as it was a contributing factor.

Wrote some more TMA fanfic.

“And the Forest Sings of Secrets and the Dead” for FUCKIT, which prompted the best review of all time from Q: “What the fuck, Laura?”

“The Modern Eurydice: with Leto in the Mountains of Delos,” also for FUCKIT, which is probably my favorite thing I wrote this year.  I really hope there are more modern Eurydice stories somewhere in my head, because I loved writing this one and the first one.

Poetry:

“Elpis at the Farmer’s market” for FUCKIT

“4am, April 2023,” also for FUCKIT, the poem my husband wants to frame and put on the wall

Random bits and bobs in my notebook

I wrote three podcast scripts because I really want to make a podcast. 

Script one is a monologue type thing, continuing my explorations of ghosts and terrible mothers.

Scripts two and three are the first two episodes of a short series that adapts the not!Tempest/not!Mosquito Coast/not!Island of Dr Moreau thing I’ve been fucking around with for like four years now.  I think three more scripts and I’ll have the series completed, and then I can turn my attention to things like casting and recording and editing and hosting and posting and dear lord what the fuck.

 I started a bunch of other things:

The baseball/ghost romance novella, where I am trying out iterative outlining.

Some abortive attempts to find my way into my post-apocalypse cunning folk thing

A start and some notes for a gothic horror story that I probably will get back to in a while (watch this space in, like, three years)

Other Stuff

“An Oral History: The Dead Queen at 1223 Murchison Row” sold and came out in Artifice & Craft. 

I created my author website, which I’m still very pleased with.  Also did some blogging, but not as much as I would have liked.  Still, not sure when I had time?

Submitted things sporadically.

Kept up my morning writing routine, though it did have some disruptions here and there and the time got a little compressed.  But the biggest thing, I think, is that I kept going.  There was a lot of stuff going on in my life this year, and I wrote through it all.

Novel and Goals for 2024

Okay, this is where we get into the stuff that makes me nervous.

So the novel is on a second round of reading at a publisher.  This is taking forever, but the publisher has also posted periodically that they’re still working their way through subs, and frankly, I am entirely willing to let them do their thing because, as I said last year, I think this might be the absolute worst time to try and find an agent or publisher.  This is one of like two sparks of interest I have gotten for a book that a professional editor says is very good, so … yeah, we will let that lie.  Additionally, I’ve been reading some stuff from established trad authors who are also  having issues selling things, and I’m like … uuuggghhh.

Bearing that in mind … I’m going to start looking at and dipping my toe into self-publishing this year.  Guys, I am so tired of thinking about what an editor might or might not find appealing enough to publish; I want to write my weird little stories and have people read them.  I don’t even care if it’s just my friends and I only sell, like, three copies of anything.  I have long since resigned myself to never being a full-time writer, so while extra cash would be nice, it’s not something I desperately need.  (That said, I am going to be selling my work because it’s work, so.  But I have thoughts about discount codes and freebies, so we’ll see how it goes.)  I’d like to be able to hire an editor, commission covers, that kind of thing, though, so I’m also thinking about starting a Patreon to help fund those aspects of it, with rewards and all that good stuff.

So I can publish the novellas and short story collections, and if the publisher passes on my manuscript, I can publish the Teachout book and start writing the second one.

This is the scary part, though.  Am I too scattered to make something like this work?  What if no one has any interest? What about pirates (both cyber and sailor)?  Will I annoy people with self-promo?  Will people in my circle think less of me?  (Do I care about the people who would think less of me for doing this?) How will this affect my other writing?  OH GOD HOW DOES THIS AFFECT MY TAXES?!

I think I can do it.  I might ask y’all for cheerleading here and there.  I have a planner and Mr. Seldnei.

Every time I think about it and get scared, I think second Teachout book no matter what happens and I’m like … yeah. Yeah, I think I need to at least try.

So, goals for 2024:

FUCKIT subs

finish this baseball thing

Podcast

Patreon (?)

Self-publishing

AAAAAAAAAAA.