#the other day before the exam i was getting stressed and jittery and my friend helped me take a few deep breaths
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sometimes you just need a loved one to remind you to breathe
#the other day before the exam i was getting stressed and jittery and my friend helped me take a few deep breaths#i think her action helped more than the breathing#also my mom before panelele used to tell me to not forget to breathe but also to not breathe too much#so now when i do need to just take a breath to stop stressing i just think of them telling me to do it and i think it helps a bit#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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Pros and Cons of being an Overloaded Student in Respiratory Therapy
during my 3rd year, where majority of the subjects are major subjects such as critical care management, airway management, mechanical ventilation and neonatal respiratory care, i took up more units than prescribed by the university due to being an irregular as a transferee (2nd year). and so i had 11 subjects with 31 to 33 units with 6 days a week of classes. i was leaning on writing how i survived it but rather i think "10 pros and cons" would be a bit better for those considering to undergo this kind of process.
this is from my own experiences tho, so... yk
Pros
you get better at time management. you drown, otherwise.
less procrastination. like #1, you drown if you do.
you get better at juggling loads of school work
you get better at putting boundaries - your body knows when it's time to study, time for family and God, time for rest (although you still need to get reminded), time to socialize
your focus becomes... great (most times)
you get disciplined.
you appreciate your early mornings, rest days, people and God (should you ever be a believer). i personally love my early mornings where i spend about 10 mins on average reading the Bible before classes, it helps me cope with all the stress and made me more optimistic. i also observed things are better (ex. grades are higher in quizzes) when i don't forget to communicate with God before starting my day
its a good practice. as a future healthcare worker, even for my internship there would be schedules of 12-16 hours aside from the regular 8 hour shift scheduled about 5 days a week, with saturdays being lecture or research days, it's a good help.
you are able to find ways how to study more effectively. i personally figured out what study style/s are best for me and when i should utilize study style A (standard) and study style B (for exams, quizzes) and so on.
you learn to compete only with yourself. most times we compare our progress and grades with others when actually, we do best when we only look at ourselves and compete with ourselves yesterday and move forward with it because you understand that you are a unique case and individual and so are others.
Cons
quick burnout = it takes a toll on your health especially when exams come where all classes would require a written one (practical exams such as in skills lab, performing airway suctioning or arterial blood gas were a blessing to me)
major subjects = major requirements. sometimes you forget that your minors need some attention too at times
i only had 1 day of rest (sundays). i love going on worship services but sometimes you just want to rest and sleep the whole day ??
you get very, very anxious and jittery when you dont have anything to do.
sleep gets put off when there are tons to do despite being good in organization and time management. i once went 38 hours without sleep on an exam week, i think it was finals ?
...it was very difficult to study for exams held on the last day, especially during finals. i loved pulmonary disease management and hemodynamics but i was just so exhausted i picked rest over studying otherwise my vertigo might act up
when bombarded with tasks (ex. case study + other major presentations or tasks all together), it's difficult not to spiral. therefore, i suggest to take a walk, especially if you have a baby doggo
if you live with your family, its a bit difficult when they fail to understand you have tons to do on a daily + need some rest. i live with my family of 6 members and sometimes we get into an argument with how im unable to help around especially while im resting after class
it is very difficult to schedule dates with friends or siblings or s/o (i don't have a significant other so that's one less thing to worry about, haha). oftentimes when my older sister asks me to accompany her to the mall for a date or just as company, i spend most of the time in coffee bean, studying. sometimes i rush there when there's an online quiz scheduled in the middle of the day even without lectures.
you gotta sacrifice a lot of things. as you can see above: you sacrifice good health, time with loved ones and yourself, binge watching or gaming (me personally i set a rule if im not on a semestral break i dont play games), good sleep, difficult to commit to other things (uni organizations or work, etc) and etc etc
this being said, i don't discourage or encourage anyone to become an overloaded student as it depends on your unique situation. with mine, my faculty wanted me to supposedly join my batchmates for this year's internship but i was still left behind because there were no offerings for the subjects i needed to complete everything during the summer term and so... yeah, hahaha
other than that, id say i did very, very well both semesters !! not to boast, but it was something i worked hard on and sometimes you just gotta be proud of yourself :)
#r-ene#r ene#respiratory therapy major#respiratory therapy#study tips#study#collegeblr#uniblr#college student#uni#respiratory therapy student#university#uni life#uni student#uni studyblr#university life#university studyblr#university student#college#college studyblr#college life#study community#studyblr community#student life#studying#students#studentlife#study blog#study tumblr#student
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The Caretaker
Pairing: Nurse!Qian Kun x GN!Reader, Best Friend!Ten x GN!Reader
Genre: Hospital!AU, Yandere, Angst.
Rating: M
Synopsis: When your body succumbs to fatigue, you're forced to stay at the hospital until your doctors are sure you're fit to get discharged. Missing exams, having to catch up with school, and being perpetually tired isn't exactly what you wanted, but a cute nurse who gets assigned to your room makes the experience so much better.
Warnings: Yandere themes; Stalking; Cussing; Mentions of guns, poisoning, blood, and death; Gore. (Please read at your own discretion.) ((i didn't proofread this properly)).
Word count: 9.07k
Masterlist
A/N: This is for my first ever collab: What Lurks in the Dark hosted by @127-mile! Happy spoopy season, besties 🔪🎃
Bright white numbers shined from your wall, harshly illuminating your dark room with its light. 02:51, it read, but despite the obvious sign that it was way past the hours when you’re supposed to be settled in your bed and snuggled between your warm covers, your form continued to hunch over the mess on the study desk. Looking up, the large red circles scribbled on your calendar stared back at you - a subtle reminder of what awaited you by the end of the week.
Finals.
A silent cry slips past your lips, eyes clenching in exhaustion. It seemed as if every professor you had decided to band together and release last-minute requirements before your exams. It would’ve helped if they lessened the load for the actual tests, but the world was so kind and decided that every class was going to have cover-to-cover tests.
The pounding ache in your head does little to calm down your already jittery nerves. With only caffeine and lo-fi music as your companions these past few days, the state of your health is surely something that can be questioned. The semester could not come to an end any sooner.
Was it too late to drop out? In your final year, perhaps it was. But it was never too late to cry. Crying will always alleviate the stress, if only for a few moments.
---
“You look like shit,” you hear a voice say just as you step out of your room. Your roommate Ten stands from the bathroom door, a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, his tattoos - and nearly everything else - out for your eyes to see.
“Ten,” you groan, leaning your forehead against the wall as you clench your eyes shut. “Can you talk to me when you have clothes on?”
“You’re acting as if you haven’t seen me like this before,” his smug tone catches you off guard. Far too tired to protest, your feet take you to the kitchen but your friend trails behind you either way. “Come on, I was joking around. Let loose a little bit,” he lightly says.
Turning around to face his bare torso again, you let out a sigh. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you maneuver around the kitchen, gathering whatever snacks you could find before heading to the library. The headache persists against your temples - just as it has been for the past week. “Glad to know I’m the only one stressing over finals.”
“Don’t say I didn’t tell you not to take Mr. Kim’s class. What were you thinking about taking up a mechanical engineering elective?”
“I thought it was cool, okay,” you reply tiredly. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so - advanced!” Ten simply watches you wave your hands around as you attempted to justify your past self’s decision, body slightly inclined against the refrigerator. “Besides, you’ve seen him. He’s pretty young and cute and I just thought - you know, that it’d be fun to listen to a cute teacher for once -”
“Darling,” he starts smoothly, “It’s fun to fool around with a teacher after class hours, not watch him from afar while you struggle quietly in the back of his classroom.” Your eyes flicker up at him and he’s already smirking down at you when your tired eyes meet his mischievous ones. “I personally think it’s too late for you to get an A in his class, but to engage in other activities -”
“Ten! We’re not having this conversation,” you interrupt, already covering your ears. He simply laughs, coming closer to wrap his lithe fingers around your wrists, bringing your arms back to your side. Opening up one eye, you’re met with his soft gaze and your fatigued mind can barely handle the way he stares down at you.
It had been four years since you spotted his flyer on one of the university announcement boards. Desperate for a place to stay that preferably wasn’t a commute away from campus, you took the chance to dorm in with a complete stranger. Luckily for you, that stranger became a close friend rather quickly. Nowadays, it seemed as if he was much more than just a friend.
Ever since a year ago, the two of you had been tip-toeing along a very fine line between friendship and something much more. But while Ten was quite open in his interest towards you, for some odd reason, the signs would just zip over your head or you’d find some nonsensical excuse for his antics.
Knowing and living with him for years, the two of you had basically become accustomed to each other’s company. He wasn’t flirting with you, why would he? You two were just friends. Just friends.
“Babes?”
Just friends who also exchange pet names, apparently.
You hum at him, tilting your chin ever so slightly to match his stare. “I was serious when I said you looked like shit.”
All of the sudden, any tiredness or questioning over his motives disappear. You push him off of you, his skin still damp from his shower. “Thank you. You make me feel so special,” you jokingly sneer at him.
“What time did you sleep?” he continued, “I could've sworn I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and your lights were still on.”
“Don't worry about that, I'm fine,” you insist, still searching for food in the cabinets. “After this week, I'm gonna get so much rest you'll barely see me out of bed.”
“That's not exactly the answer I'm looking for, but okay.” Grabbing the rest of your things, you quickly make your way to your door, wanting to find a spot in the library before more students fill in the seats.
On the table by the door sits an array of bowls for anything you or Ten need to remember just as you exit your shared apartment. Keys, wallets, IDs, even mail or bills. But a familiar pink shade sticks out against the white envelopes around it. Your name is written in plain print.
“Ten?” you call out. “Do you know who left this?”
He looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, taking in the image of the brightly colored paper between your fingers. “No, I didn't even notice that it was in our mailbox.”
Without even flipping it open, you already knew the contents of the mysterious letter. This was the ninth letter you'd received in the past month, all other eight hidden deep in your drawer with love poems written neatly onto the page (sometimes pages) of the letter.
Strange was a little too light of a term to describe the series of letters that had found their way to you whether it was left between your textbook pages or inside your bag.
Now, it was your apartment mailbox. You weren't sure if you wanted to commend this person for being so adamant about getting your attention or creeped out. Ten stood silently, watching you closely as you finally opened and read through its contents.
Little one,
A shiver passes over you.
Not a day goes by that I don't wish to bask in the sweetness of your smile,
I wonder what it feels like to be loved by your warm eyes.
To feel you against my skin, chest to chest, heart to heart is my biggest wish,
To lose you to anyone else - my biggest fear.
You don't know how it pains me to see you day by day, oblivious to my love.
Maybe my blind optimism is to blame,
For I can only but hide in the shadows, never to be seen or loved by you.
One day, I hope that to change.
Cold are the nights I wish you to be by my side,
Warm are the days I dream that you are finally mine.
I only hope those days are no longer dreams,
But a reality that I will strive to remain our reality.
Like always, the mysterious author signs the letter with their usual signature.
Longingly,
Your heart’s caretaker.
“You never told me you had an admirer,” Ten’s voice breaks the silence. His tone is tight, lips pressed in a thin line. Quickly, you tuck the poem into your bag.
“I don't,” you let out a sigh, grabbing at your keys and wallet. “I think someone's just messing with me.”
“Come on,” he says, almost successfully hiding the bitterness in his voice. You catch on but brush it aside, not wanting to assume. “Someone like you has got to have a random person pining over them.”
All you can do is let out a short, awkward laugh. “It's nothing, I bet whoever is playing with me will stop once they realize I'm not falling for this.”
But Ten isn't too convinced, only offering you a dubious nod. Your friend’s sudden change in demeanor does little to calm the nerves that have already built up in you with the letters and finals, but you decide not to press him any further.
“I'll see you for lunch later?” Ten asks, waiting patiently for your answer. His eyes are casted downwards and for a moment you want to reassure him that the letters don't mean anything but you stop yourself. It's not like you and him were anything to begin with.
“Sure,” you quip, haphazardly slipping your shoes on. “Do you want me to buy you anything?”
He looks around momentarily, sneaking a look over at your bag with the thought of the letter still in his head. “No,” he decides to say quietly. “I'm good.”
Before you could even reply, he already has his back towards you, walking into his room. The sigh you let out rings into the empty room, the ache in your head just getting worse now that you have to deal with Ten’s attitude.
“Thanks a lot, Mr. Caretaker.”
---
Nine hours, four large cups of coffee, and enough highlighter ink fumes to get anyone high later, you find yourself back in your apartment. Your feet are heavy, practically stomping harshly onto the thin wooden panels below you.
Minutes ago you awoke to a small puddle of drool pooled on your notebook having suddenly fallen asleep while studying. You're half sure stars spin behind your eyes, the other half of you feels like you were in a dream.
Your vision is blurred, shoulders heavy, and an overwhelming wave of fatigue casts over your entire being as you finally push your way into your apartment. Ten stands in the kitchen, a sympathetic look in his eyes as he stirs at the pot below him.
“You didn't make it back for lunch,” he comments upon seeing you.
Your keys clang harshly against the ceramic bowl, feet barely lifting up as you take off your shoes. Sleep. You needed sleep.
“Are you okay?” you hear Ten say. Was it Ten? You weren't sure, it was all becoming hazy.
But your roommate notices the glazed look over your eyes and makes his way towards you, grabbing onto your shoulders. His eyes widen as you slump against him, the unusual warmth of your forehead sending him into a panic. Ten places a hand against your skin, taken aback by the heat bouncing off your body before he quickly takes off your jacket. “Jesus! You're burning up.”
You barely let out a hum, still leaning against his chest. “Hey, hey. Stay awake.” His voice echoes into your ears, just faint enough for you to register before you go completely limp in his arms as your roommate immediately hoists you into his arms, grabs his car keys, and exits your apartment.
---
“We’re gonna have to keep you in for a week, maximum.”
‘What? No.” Your protests are met with a stern gaze from the doctor across from you, unrelenting as she insists without even uttering a word. “I have exams coming up -”
“And you can tell your professors about it, but right now you’re fatigued, dehydrated and we need to monitor you for the next few days to make sure you’re okay because you’ve got a case of fatigue far too bad for us to just let you go.” She barely lets you start talking before exiting the room, leaving you to stare off at her disappearing figure.
Slumping against your pillow, you let out a pathetic sigh. This couldn't possibly get any worse. Wallowing in your predicament, you barely sense the pair of eyes looking over at you with a mixture of amusement and pity. “I don’t want to hear anything from you.”
“Hey!” Ten protests, arms lifted up in mock defeat. “I didn’t even talk.” “You don’t need to say anything,” you murmur, lifting your head to look at him through squinted eyes. “I can feel it.”
“This isn’t exactly the ‘you’re welcome’ I was expecting for bringing you here, but I’ll take it,” he counters with a small smile that makes an equally minute one appear on your lips.
Ten suddenly makes his way towards you, taking your limp hand in his. His warm hand contrasts starkly with your shivering one covered in tubes and medical tape. “All jokes aside, you should really think twice about the electives you take before signing up for classes. No cute professor is worth a hospital bill.”
“God, I really hate you sometimes.” You retract your hand from his in mock disgust, curling away from him. In classic Ten fashion, all he does is smirk as he makes his way out your room.
“I’ll grab some of your clothes and come back as soon as I can,” he sing-songs. Just as he’s about to leave, he looks pointedly at you, raising a finger to your direction. “Don’t go anywhere!”
“Don’t steal from my underwear drawer, you perv!” you joke back.
“If I find anything other than garments in your closet, I’ll never let you live it down,” a mischievous glint sparkles in his eyes as he says this.
“Too bad that’s not happening,” you retort, poking your tongue out at him, his face disappearing just as he matches your childish response.
---
For the first time in a long time, you’re succumbing to a deep slumber well before the clock struck 1 A.M. and with the quiet pitter patters of footsteps outside of your dimly lit room it was easy to let your eyes drift closed.
Sleep. Sweet sleep. Glorious sleep. Only a few more moments before -
“Good evening. I’m here to check on you.”
The voice pierces through the quiet, light from outside seeping into your room and casting a harsh glow against your face. It takes everything in you not to cry out in frustration. What’s a person gotta do to just get some sleep?
“Can this be quick? I really just want to sleep,” you try your best to hide the annoyance in your tone, but the masked healthcare worker seems unfazed, going about his business as if he hadn’t just interrupted you.
“Sorry to spoil the fun for you, but this is gonna be a daily thing,” he replies sympathetically. Flicking the lights on, the man barely looks your way as he checks your vitals. Eyebrows furrowed, you tiredly looked up at him, waiting for him to start up a conversation amidst the silence.
When the silence becomes too awkward, your sleep-deprived brain decides to do the one thing you’d usually never do on a normal day. Small talk.
“So,” you start, “lovely evening we have.” He simply glances at you with an eyebrow raised and you swear you can make out an outline of a smirk from underneath his mask.
“Maybe you’re much more fatigued than we thought because I’m sure no person would call a night at the hospital lovely.” His deep voice takes you aback.
“It isn’t lovely, I was just hoping you’d join me in my sorry excuse of a conversation.”
A low laugh bubbles from his chest at that, eyes now fully on you. As if a thin hospital dress wasn’t making you feel vulnerable enough, you’re sure if he stared at you for another second longer you’d cower into yourself.
But when he lifts a hand to take a mask off, giving you a pretty well lit view of his face, you’re positive you could just cower into yourself.
“If you wanted to talk to me, you could’ve just said so,” he says with the faintest hint of a smirk on his lips. “I’m Kun and I’ll be your attending nurse until you get discharged.”
It wasn’t the sleepiness. Definitely not the morphine. Definitely not the lingering buzz from the coffee you’d consumed hours ago. But it was the fact that Kun was the most attractive nurse you’d ever laid eyes on that made your jaw hinge open and close as you struggled to form a sentence coherent enough to understand.
“I’m...my head and sleep...and then I just...so, I’m here - Gosh,” you giggle, barely understanding what you were saying. “I’m rambling,” you finally say, shutting your mouth lest you want to embarrass yourself any further.
“You are,” he confirms, coming closer to your bed. Lifting an arm up, he throws his limb across your chest, reaching out for the entangled tubes by your side. His chest is so close to your face that you hold your breath, afraid that the gasps of air would tickle his neck.
“You’re allowed to breathe, you know that right?” he smugly comments as he straightens himself back up.
“I was breathing,” you whisper, heat already starting to travel up your neck and ears.
Kun isn’t sure whether to laugh at you or reassure you, either way he found the effort to cover up your flustered state endearing. “Can you lift your hand up for me?”
Without even thinking about it, your arm raises and Kun catches your cold hand in his. He grabs an oximeter from his pocket, clamping it down on your finger. But he doesn’t let go, even smoothing his thumb over the skin of your hand as he waits for your vitals to appear on the screen of the tiny machine.
As his finger continues to glide across the back of your hand, you feel the warmth from your stomach travel across your body, to the tips of your fingers and toes. The thumping of your heart against your chest rings in your ears and maybe if Kun were only a few inches closer, he’d hear the rapid rhythm instead of the beeping from the oximeter.
“You good?” he asks, bringing you down from the clouds.
Blinking up at him, you open your mouth but no words escape as you rack your mind for a comeback witty enough to leave him at a loss for words just as he did with you. “I am,” you finally let out.
“Are you nervous around me?” He was so blatant, so unapologetic. It only made your cheeks heat up even more.
“No -”
“Huh,” he lets out smugly, looking intently at the beeping oximeter on your hand. “Your heart rate’s at 112 - a bit unusual for someone just laying in bed.” The implication behind his words don't fly over your head. Smirking, he looks back down at you, a glint in his eyes. “The numbers don’t lie.”
Just as you're about to open your mouth and save whatever sense of dignity you had left, another figure enters your room, a large bag placed over their shoulders. “You're lucky I couldn't find your secret stash of special toys in your closet -”
Ten shuts his mouth at the realization that you had company. He looks over at you, then at Kun, then at your hands. “Hello.”
“Hi,” Kun says nonchalantly, his playful behavior now masked by an air of professionalism. “You must be the patient’s boyfriend?”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you cut in awkwardly. “This is my roommate.” Ten flashes him a tight-lipped smile. His eyes flitter to you before looking back down at the hand Kun was still holding. Quickly, you pull back.
“Ten, you can just place my stuff over there,” you instruct, gesturing towards the bench in front of you. Your friend maneuvers around the room, eyes never leaving Kun regardless of the nurse’s reassuring smile.
The nurse looks between the two of you, sensing the shift in the air and deciding it was time to leave the room. “Thank you for your time, I’ll be back in the morning for the same thing.”
He briefly spares your friend another glance before making it out of the room, leaving you alone with Ten, who hasn’t spoken since taking his place on a chair by your bed.
“Thank you,” you say cautiously, eyeing the man who sits motionless by your side. A nod is all he offers you, fingers placed gently by his chin. “I’m glad you didn’t find anything else in my closet,” you add, trying to lighten the mood. If the comment did anything, he doesn’t show it.
“He’s real handsome, isn’t he?” Ten finally says, but there’s no amusement in his tone.
“Yeah, I guess.”
It was strange how Ten was acting. He wasn’t the type to be sulking or silent; his sharp tongue always ready with a witty comeback or a hilarious joke. But now it seemed as if silence was the only thing he could offer you, save for the occasional side glance. Looking down at his phone to check the time, he gets to his feet and makes his way to your side.
“I should probably head home, I still have classes tomorrow.”
“Okay,” you say with a minute smile. “Did you at least bring my textbooks?”
“You and studying,” he says, smiling genuinely for the first time since arriving. “I did. Your laptop’s in the bag too in case you need it.”
“You’re such an angel,” you say jokingly, taking a hold of his arm and hugging it to your side.
“Need I remind you, your doctor clearly told you to rest for the next week?”
“I know, but a little reviewing won’t hurt right?” you reassure. “Plus, what else am I supposed to do when I’m bored and you’re not here to keep me company?”
“Be excited for when I’m free to come back here?” He grins as you playfully push him to the side.
“You’re so full of yourself!”
“Thank you,” he jokes back, leaning down to land a kiss on the crown of your head. “I’ll be back tomorrow so you don’t bore yourself to insanity.”
“Okay,” you whisper, your bottom lip tucked between your teeth. He looks at you one last time before moving towards the exit, waving goodbye and flicking the lights off.
---
You weren’t sure what else you were expecting from typical hospital food, but bland was definitely on the list of possibilities. You couldn’t really protest either, knowing damn well that if it weren’t for your poor food choices and sleeping schedules in the past few weeks, you wouldn’t even be in this situation.
“Can’t you guys add just a little more seasoning to your meals?”
Kun lifts an eyebrow, laughing at your obvious distaste for the food he’d just delivered to you. “I’m a nurse, not a chef. The least of my worries is if the food would have Gordon Ramsey fall to his knees.”
“Oh, I’m sure this would have Gordon on his knees,” you start, toying with the vegetables below you. “If only to pray you’ll be enlightened by the wonder that is salt and pepper.”
Kun lets out a loud laugh, far too amused to focus on checking on your vitals again. You join him as he eyes crinkle shut, nose scrunching, struggling to compose himself. You’ve clearly caught him off guard and the handsome nurse does very little to conceal that.
It had been a few days since you got admitted to the hospital and it would be a lie to say that the best part of being bedridden wasn’t the dashing and charming nurse standing in front of you. He’d kept you company in the few minutes he was afforded to check up on you or deliver your food; slowly, the two of you fell into smoother conversations about work, school, and each other.
Call it crazy, but you guess this was a silver lining to the otherwise depressing situation you had found yourself in.
But no matter how much the young nurse liked to sweep you off your feet and make your tummy tumble, the thought of missing out in school was still there to ignite a bubble of anxiety in you. You guess that’s why you hadn’t fully recovered, feeling the same level of tiredness and fatigue, if not stronger, despite the days of trying to recover.
“If you think any harder, your brain might spill out of your ears.” Kun’s voice cuts through your train of thought. He offers you a sympathetic smile.
“Sorry, I’m just really drained.”
“Which is why you should eat more,” he retorts, bringing a spoonful up to your lips. You look at him incredulously.
“Is this part of your job description?” you joke, leaning forward and allowing him to feed you.
“Not really, but you can’t blame me for wanting to take care of someone so adorable.”
That was definitely not part of the description.
Kun frowns at your silence, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, that was really unprofessional.”
“Just...caught me off guard, that’s all,” you reassure. He’s about to open his mouth when the faint sound of footsteps and voices come closer and closer to your room. Kun surprisingly straightens up, smiles at you before putting the mask back on his face.
“I’ll come back in a bit for your tray,” he says in a breath, not letting you reply before exiting the room. Moments later, your doctor comes in.
“Good afternoon,” your doctor greets, grabbing the clipboard from the foot of your bed. “How have you been?”
“Okay, I guess,” you reply, fumbling with your IV cord. “Still tired and all.”
She hums contemplatively at your answer, skimming through your charts. “Your blood pressure is still pretty low even if we’ve been medicating you for the past few days,” she comments, forehead furrowed. “You might need to stay for a little longer just so we can make sure.”
“But, I can’t...I’m already gonna miss a week -” you start to protest, sitting up.
“And we understand that,” she interrupts, looking at you with a tight smile. “But we need to make sure you’re doing well. We don't want any more complications arising from this, okay?”
You slump in defeat, looking over at the clock on your wall. What was supposed to be your first exam had just started.
“Fine.”
---
Playing the roles of student, best friend, and unofficial caretaker to you was something Ten didn’t imagine taking on, but if it meant a speedy recovery for you - and a speedy goodbye from a certain male nurse - he’s willing to put up with it with a smile on his face.
It was fairly late into the night, but Ten still wanted to check up on you. Making his way through the hallway to your room, another attending nurse spots him.
“Excuse me, Sir!” she calls out, a kind smile on her face. “I’m sorry, but visiting hours have already ended. You can come back tomorrow morning.”
He pauses in place, smiling awkwardly to himself before nodding and making his way back where he came when he spots a familiar mop of dark hair hidden in a corner.
Kun is too busy with whatever he’s dealing with to notice Ten make his way towards him. When the nurse senses company, he’s quick to put on his face mask and face Ten with wide eyes.
“Hey,” Kun says coolly, hands shoved in his pocket.
“Hello,” Ten replies just as flatly. The two stare off, not quite sure what to say to each other.
As much as Ten hated being that person, he couldn’t let go of the insistent feeling of doubt around Kun. He could admit that he hated being the type of person to judge someone based on mere intuition, but there was something in Kun’s aura that he couldn’t quite place.
“I was just headed to your friend’s room to bring their food,” the nurse says, breaking the silence.
“Oh,” Ten says without any emotion. “I was just wondering what you were doing here in this dark corner.”
“Nothing, nothing,” he reassures, fidgeting with his feet. Ten isn’t too convinced but he takes the excuse anyway.
“I was just headed to their room,” Ten starts, digging into his bag to grab some of your class notes, “but visiting hours are over, can you hand this to them?”
As Kun takes his hand out to grab the pieces of paper, a small bottle falls from inside his pocket. Distracted, Kun doesn’t notice Ten lean down to pick up the fallen object. Eyedrops.
“You dropped this,” Ten says, reaching out to Kun who offers him a small smile.
“Thanks,” Kun says, nodding subtly to Ten before making his way down the hall. Ten catches Kun’s form disappear into your room.
The rotten feeling in his stomach doesn’t go away.
---
“You weren’t kidding when you said that you’re really serious about your studies,” Kun laughs from the side, the usual green tray of hospital food in his hands.
“It’s not that my life revolves around my studies,” you defend, already falling into conversation with your newfound friend. “This class is just a pain in the ass.”
Kun shakes his head in amusement, laughing at the pout that had made its way to your lips.
Groaning in defeat, you set your pencil down, slamming your forehead against the pages of the textbook. A hand makes its way up your neck, weaving into your hair. Kun cooes at you in pity.
“It can’t be that bad,” he says sympathetically. You tilt your head up towards him, eyes tired and just about on the brink of giving up.
Turns out Kun isn’t just good at being a nurse, keeping you company, and making your stomach tumble around. He was also good at tutoring - if his prolonged visits to your room coupled with short study sessions meant anything.
You hoped the sorry excuse for puppy-dog eyes were enough to convince him to help you just one more time.
“It’s an engineering elective,” you admit. He crinkles his nose, showing off his gummy smile.
“You’re right, I can’t help you.”
“Come on, man!” you exclaim through a laugh. Kun settles on the chair beside your bed, a hand pressed against his chin as he leans in to look at you. Immediately, your laughter dies down, not knowing how to act when Kun is looking at you like that. “Are you just gonna stare at me or are you gonna try to help me?”
Gaze on your lap, he reaches over to take the engineering textbook out of your hands. Kun leans into you and lingers for just a moment longer than usual. The perfume emanating off his neck makes you go dizzy, the vanilla base note mixing with the citrus top note elegantly.
Damn you, Qian Kun and your perfume and perfect smile.
“Let’s make a deal,” he mumbles, flipping carelessly through the pages. “Once you’re discharged, I’ll see if I can squeeze some extra time to help you study.”
“That sounds too good to be true.”
“For free.”
“That is definitely too good to be true.”
“On one condition,” he butts in, raising a lone index finger in the air.
“There’s always a catch.” You playfully roll your eyes at him, yet your ears remain attentive towards his next words.
“I get to bring you out on a date.”
You could’ve sworn you could hear fireworks going off in your head. Qian Kun, the insanely attractive and sweet nurse who can take care of patients, help with philosophy homework, and whip up a pretty decent meal (now that you ran his ear off enough to convince him to add more seasoning to your food).
Maybe it was time to get over Ten. Maybe, just maybe, if he really was interested in you, he would’ve let you know by now. Just like what Kun was doing.
“Deal.”
---
“Dude, I swear I didn’t study shit for that exam,” Ten exclaims, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. “Mr. Jeong is gonna fail me, I can feel it.”
“What was that you said about choosing classes properly before signing up for them?” you mumble playfully through a mouthful of food. Kun had just stopped by - and casually charmed you as always - just as Ten arrived.
For some reason, your roommate still hadn’t warmed up to the kind nurse, but you figured it didn’t matter much anymore. Besides, you were going to get discharged soon.
But your health hasn't been faring well. If anything, it seemed as if you were perpetually stuck in the same state you were in coming into the hospital, if not worse. The headaches and body pain had gone away with the modest doses of painkillers constantly given to you, but it did nothing to restore your energy.
You were weak, physically and mentally. And Ten had begun to notice. Your doctors couldn’t figure out much either and your insistent pleas to just be released finally forced them to give in and just hand you some prescriptions and strict instructions for when you’re finally out.
In the midst of your casual chatter with Ten, your stomach started to churn. You felt the contents of your belly rise up and frantically signalled to Ten. “I’m gonna throw up.”
He quickly gets to his feet, gently hooking your arms in his and escorting you to the bathroom. You two barely make it through the room when you launch yourself towards the sink, spewing out the meal you had just eaten. Ten watches, a hand to your back and a scowl on his face.
“Are you sure you wanna go home so early? You don’t seem well,” he reasons, worry starting to crease his eyebrows.
With fingers clenched tightly around the rim of the ceramic sink, you bury your head into the crevice. Your body continues to push out bile and unprocessed food until your sides ached and your throat went sore.
“Fuck,” you exclaim, tears starting to drip down your cheeks.
“Do you want me to call anyone?” Ten moves just an inch away from you before you reach out and desperately cling onto his wrists.
“No, please.” You gulp a deep breath in. “Please stay.”
“Just...just let it all out. Shit, I don’t know what to do.”
Whatever remnants of energy you had left completely left your body as you struggled against the sink. It wasn’t until minutes later that your stomach no longer convulsed were you able to reach out into your bag for anything to wipe your face.
But as you dig into the contents of your bag, your fingers graze over a smooth material you could’ve sworn wasn’t there before. Looking up, you grab at the strange object, pulling it out to reveal another pink letter. A wave of nausea washes over you once more.
“Ten,” you gasp, looking over your shoulder. “What is this?”
He turns to you, staring at the piece of paper in your hand without an ounce of recognition. You set yourself down onto the toilet bowl, desperately prying open the envelope and meeting the familiar handwriting for what seemed to be the nth time.
Little one,
Soon, we will be together
You only have to wait but a moment more.
Sooner or later,
We’ll meet and live the rest of our lives as one.
I can’t wait to finally have you as mine,
Permanent would be my smile.
Longingly,
Your heart’s caretaker
Staring at the note, familiarity washes over you. The handwriting - you’ve seen it before. But you didn’t want it to be true.
You drag your body out of the bathroom, Ten confusedly following you around. Grabbing at your notebooks, you hurriedly flip through its pages. You just wanted to know. You just wanted to make sure your mind wasn’t playing games with you.
Spotting the foreign handwriting on the pages of your notebook, you pause, bringing the note side-by-side. You struggle to gulp in air, Ten looming over you.
The handwriting on the letter. Kun’s handwriting. They were the same.
Weakly crumpling the letter in your fist, you quickly shove it into the trash bin before looking up at Ten.
“I wanna go home.”
---
“We really advise you to stay just a few days longer for monitoring purposes -”
“I’m sorry, but I just really want to go home.”
Your doctor sighed out, looking down at the out-patient form laid down for you. Under the fluorescent lights, your skin glowed with a sickly tinge.
Ten stood by you, your belongings and bags clutched in one arm as the other was placed against your hip to keep you from toppling over from the fatigue. “Are you sure about this?” he asks quietly.
“If there are any complications in the next 24 hours, it’s strongly advised you come straight back to us.”
You nod your head, feet jittering below you. But before you leave, you just wanted to do one last thing. “Where’s Nurse Kun?”
The doctor lifts her eyes to you, quite puzzled by your question. “Who?”
“Nurse Kun,” you repeat, doubt lacing your voice. “The one who’s been watching me since I got here?”
Nothing.
“Listen, I just need to talk to him about something before I leave -”
“Sweetheart,” she says, continuing to look at you in confusion with her head tilted to the side, “we don’t have a Nurse Kun.”
---
The car ride home is tense with fear and anxiety. Every now and then, you would instinctively look back just to see if anyone was driving behind you. Each and every time, the road remained empty. It was much too late into the night and for some reason, the lights that lined the side of the drive were much dimmer than usual.
If this was some sick psychotic episode, you swore that you would do everything you could to prevent this from happening again once it’s over.
“Stop shaking your leg like that, you’re making me nervous,” Ten says tensely from the driver’s seat, hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. “I can’t believe some weirdo was acting like a nurse in that hospital. I told you he was creepy.”
“Just drive, Ten. I don’t want to have this conversation right now.”
“You and I both, but we really can’t ignore that giant fucking elephant in the room, can we now?”
“Jesus, we can talk about it when we get home.” He shuts up, eyes straight on the road. Just as the two of you were about to reach the open, well-lit highway, his car started to rumble.
“What the hell?” he exclaims, trying his luck as he moves the gearshift around. But as the vehicle came to a stop and the engine quieted down, it was safe to say the prospect of coming home wasn’t something happening soon. “Shit, stay here.”
“Not like I can go anywhere else,” you bite back, leaning your head against the headrest.
Ten makes his way to the hood of the car, lifting it up quickly with a flashlight held in his other hand. He was no expert at vehicles, but he was around 90% sure that his engine was completely fine. Just as he’s about to shut the hood, his nose catches a whiff of the infamous odor of gasoline.
He crouches down, shining the flashlight against the bottom side of his car. Someone had drilled holes in his gas tank.
Shooting up immediately, he closes the hood and makes his way back to the driver’s seat.
“What happened?”
“We need to call for help,” he says ambiguously. But you immediately search for your phone, fingers shaking as you dial for the emergency number but with only one bar flashing on your phone, you’re met with the annoying beeping of the line.
“Damn it,” you curse, lifting your phone to the air to no avail. In the quiet, you can only hear the crumbling of pebbles under Ten’s feet as he paces anxiously, waiting for someone to answer his call. You barely make out the low rumble of an engine until the presence of another car catches your attention.
Looking back, you can faintly see the outline of another, much larger vehicle. Its headlights are off and you swear you can feel the bile start to rise up your throat once more.
“Ten,” you whimper, trying to catch your breath. But your friend is too engrossed in panic to hear you or notice the new company.
“Ten,” you repeat, just a few decibels louder.
He still doesn’t hear you.
“Ten!” you call out and he whips his head towards you.
“What?” he says sharply.
Lifting a shaking finger, you point to the car behind you. The driver now outside and staring right at you.
“Keep calling for someone,” your friend commands, reaching into his glove compartment for a gun.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you hiss, grabbing onto his wrist.
“Relax, it’s a pellet gun!” he reasons out impatiently, shoving your hand aside. “We just need to scare him off.” You gawk at your friend, watching him back away as he slowly approaches the stranger with the fake gun tucked behind him.
“Hello, Sir,” Ten says. “Or Ma’am...we’re in a bit of a rut with our car.” He gestures to your still vehicle. The person remains motionless.
There’s a bitter taste in your mouth as the stranger moves his gaze from you to Ten. You don’t see their eyes, but you were moments away from just grabbing Ten and running as fast as you can.
Looking forward, you try to estimate the distance to the highway and see if the two of you can make it to the end in time. But the stranger has a car with a tank full of gas - you two were fucked over before their conversation even started.
“We were just wondering if you could help us out?” Ten continues.
Silence.
“Hey,” your friend calls out once more to the estranged person. “Are you even listening to me?” Ten lifts his flashlight, casting it onto the stranger and finally giving a face to the figure in front of you.
Kun. With a metal pipe by his side.
You scream. With the fear coursing through every fiber of your being, you barely register the screech that rips from your throat.
“Ten, it’s him!”
You’re too late. Kun is already moving quickly towards Ten, who staggers and falls to his feet before whipping out the pellet gun. But Kun is unfazed, lifting the rod and slamming it against Ten’s ankle.
The sound of metal on bone reverberates in your ears. There’s a crunch that echoes into the empty street, followed by Ten’s wail of pain.
In a panic, you search for anything in his car to protect you. To save Ten. But under the pile of used up fast food wrappers and spare gym clothes, you find nothing.
Kun delivers a blow to his other ankle. Ten screams into the night.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you whimper, hopping onto the driver’s seat and turning on the ignition but no matter what you do, you’re only met with the meek rumbling of the dead engine. In the last feeble attempt to save your life, you shut the door, quickly locking it and backing away.
Moments later, Kun arrives. A smile is etched onto his face, but unlike his kind ones in the hospital, this one is dark. It’s cruel. It’s manic. He lifts a hand up, tapping the window.
“Open the door,” he commands slowly. You fervently shake your head, chest tight as you blubber and cry for your life. Instantly, you regret defying him as you watch his smile mold into a menacing scowl. He reaches down, tugging onto the door but when it doesn’t open, he steps back and walks away.
Shakingly, you move forward and look out onto the road. Ten stays limp, the forgotten flashlight casting a shadow over his body. As you catch a sight of his mangled feet, you bring a hand up to your mouth. His bone sticks out abnormally, the pool of blood only widening with every second.
A sharp sound from behind you shakes you out of your reverie. Looking back, you notice the cracks on the window and the series of following events happen too fast for you to even comprehend.
Kun lifts the rod again. He brings it down against the window with so much force your eardrums ring. The glass breaks, sprinkling all over you. Kun opens the door. He grabs your feet and pulls you out. You scream.
“Let me go!”
Using his strength, he swiftly pulls you out. Your body slams against the pavement, the air knocks out of you. The bright stars in the sky spin above you. Only them in their flurry of heat and light serve as witnesses to the blood Kun has shed.
He didn’t even kill Ten. He didn’t even kill you. He’s probably waiting to finish you two somewhere more private. He probably wants to take his sweet time pulling out every possible scream and cry from the two of you before ending your lives.
Amidst the lightheadedness, the ache in your body, and the wicked smile on Kun’s face, you’ve accepted it. You’ve accepted that Kun was going to kill you.
“Oh, little one,” he whispers, grabbing your still body and bringing your head to his nostrils. You hear him take a whiff of your scent, moaning out in pleasure. “My little one.”
His little one.
Your weak arms come up to push him off, but it’s futile. He’s too strong, grip tight around your body. “It was you,” you whisper, a sob escaping your lips. “It was you.”
He chuckles darkly, smoothing a hand down your back. “It was, I’m so happy that I don’t have to watch you from afar anymore. I’m here to take care of you.”
Kun pulls back slightly, lips pressed against your cheek. Another chuckle ripples through his chest, making cry out. “Your personal caretaker.”
---
A scent tingles against your nostrils and tongue. The pungent odor of decay brings you out of your slumber, eyes opening slightly. As you try to move your fingers, your hand glides over something moist and slick below you, but you’re unfazed - too disoriented to understand what was happening.
The room is dark save for the sliver of moonlight the peaks through the single window adjacent to the wall you were laying against. For a moment, you think you were just in a dream but the events of the last day all come back to you and you sit up quickly.
“Ten?” you desperately call out, coming to your knees and feeling for another body beside you. “Ten?”
Your knees nudge against something that lets out a small whimper. In a dazed state, you bring your hands up to feel around cloth and cold skin until your fingers graze over a nose. “Ten?” you repeat.
The body below you lets out another pained noise, its hand coming to clasp around your wrist. “It’s me,” Ten says weakly. “It’s me.”
Relief washes over you as you let out a gasp, leaning your forehead against his chest. The comfort doesn’t last long as the sound of the door swinging open echoes into the room, the lights coming to life above you.
“Oh, good. You’re awake.”
Cold. Cold all over. You wanted to be anywhere but here and you look down to see Ten’s pained expression, his feet just as bloody as they were when the two of you were on the side of the road, you prayed to God this was all just a bad dream.
“It’s rude not to look at someone while they’re talking to you.”
“Fuck you,” you curse through gritted teeth.
“That’s not a nice way to greet the person who’s been taking care of you for the past week.” His voice sounds much closer and you feel him loom over you and Ten. “Step away from him, love.”
Kun brings hand down to clutch at your bicep, attempting to pull you away from. But you don’t budge, staying in place as you cling onto Ten’s pale body.
He crouches down, grabbing your face and bringing your ear close to his lips. “If you don’t let go of him, I’ll fuck up his arms just like what I did to his feet.”
Reluctantly, you ease your grip on Ten. Kun immediately drags you to your feet, moving your tired body to the other side of the room. He sits you onto a chair as Ten continues to fight for his life in front of you. Looking down, you’re covered in red.
Ten’s blood covers your lower half, droplets pooling by your feet. The cloth of your pants squelches with every subtle movement and it takes everything in you not to throw up. The rusty scent of the fluid overwhelms your nostrils, face contorting in disgust.
Sick. Sick. Sick.
“You weren’t supposed to find out so soon,” Kun says in disappointment as if you were the nuisance right now. “Then again, I should’ve been smarter about the letter, right?”
When Kun reaches Ten, he reaches down, grabbing your friend by the collar and lifting him up onto his broken feet. The sight of Ten struggling to stand straight as his torn muscle and broken bone peeks from underneath his pants makes you gag. You double over, bile pushing out of your throat.
Thankfully (you’d take any act of mercy at this point), Kun sets Ten down on a chair similar to yours. Your friend’s pained expression slowly disappears now that the weight of his body is no longer on his disfigured limbs.
The deranged man looks down at your friend, mock pity on his face. He grabs Ten’s chin, making him face him. “You were definitely not part of the plan.”
“Please leave him alone,” you pathetically beg, wanting nothing more than to keep Ten alive. “We won’t tell anyone, just please let us go.”
“You can’t possibly undermine my intelligence that much, can you?” Kun turns towards you and you cower into yourself.
The butterflies in your stomach all those days ago were wrong. The heat in your cheeks was wrong. Kun wasn’t someone to be adored. He was someone to be avoided, to be feared. To be put in prison, away from people.
“After all those days of tutoring you, you really think I’ll be fooled by those poor, little pleas?”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a tiny bottle. He moves it slightly towards Ten, who squints his eyes to read the label. The eyedrops.
“Tetrahydrozoline,” Kun starts, playing with the eyedrops between his fingers. “In small doses it can be quite potent.” Looking towards you, he smiles cynically. “I guess now you know why you were so tired all the time?”
“What did you do to me?”
“Oh, nothing. A couple of drops in your coffee when you weren’t paying attention at the cafe. A little more in the food I’d give you. Sometimes, I would mix it in your IV fluid for extra measure.”
“You’ve been poisoning me -”
“No,” he interrupts, a scowl on your face. “If I wanted you dead, I would poison you. I just wanted you...easy to control, I guess is the right way to see it.”
“You fucking asshole,” Ten cuts in weakly. He’s fighting for his life, much paler than he was when you first saw his face. Time was running out and sooner or later, you would be left alone with Kun and Ten’s lifeless body.
“Why don’t I make a deal with you?” Kun comments, still smiling menacingly. He grabs a pair of pliers from behind him. Already knowing what he was gonna do, you try to grab his attention.
“Kun, no. Please, Kun,” you plead, but your cries go ignored.
“Every time you make a little pissy comment, I break a finger of yours. Sounds good?” Kun clamps the pliers onto Ten’s pinky finger, squeezing tighter onto the handles at an agonizingly sluggish rate, prolonging the pain.
Red colors Ten’s face as he fights off the urge to scream in pain, you weren’t so modest with your screams.
“Kun, no! Please! Don’t hurt him, please leave him alone.” Your throat is sore from the constant screaming, legs bruised and battered as you lift yourself up to your feet and stagger towards him.
Clinging onto his arm, you attempt to pull him away but your feeble tugs do little to get him off of Ten.
“I’ll do anything, please. Leave him alone, just leave him alone!”
At that, Kun stops. He looks down at you, thinking long and hard.
“Okay.” His grips loosens, the pliers falling to the ground. “Tell you what? I want to make another deal with you.” Kun grips the sides of your face, forcing you to look in his eyes.
At that moment, all memories of the kind nurse seemed like figments of your imagination. This wasn’t the Kun you had known. This was someone else.
Desperately, you nod. “Anything, just leave Ten alone,” you say through a sob. Your tears mix with the sweat and blood on your face. As it trails down your cheeks and slips onto your tongue, the saltiness jolts you awake.
“Don’t listen to him,” Ten protests waveringly. If you couldn’t save the both of you, you’ll save Ten. You’ll help Ten live.
“Stay with me. Forever,” Kun says gently, rubbing a thumb over your lip. “And I’ll let your little friend live. I’ll even help with the little accident I caused,” he adds, looking down at Ten’s legs with no remorse.
There’s no compassion in voice. No regret in his eyes. It’s an empty stare that digs deep into your soul, extinguishing any sense of hope.
“Okay,” you meekly agree. Kun smiles again. It makes your blood run cold. For a moment, you wonder if it was better off you and Ten die than end up with him.
© NCITYRAVE. All rights reserved.
Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction! I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don't be afraid to send in critique or comments, it's my biggest motivation to keep writing these stories. 💖
#nctcreations#kdiarynet#kpopscape#ankathia#nct#wayv#nct oneshot#nct oneshots#nct angst#nct yandere#qian kun imagines#qian kun angst#kun imagines#kun angst#kun yandere#nct drabbles#nct imagines#nct imagine#nct u
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a/n: this is a lil brain dump bcs I've been really inactive lately, sorry!! I wrote it in one sitting and I dint really know how I feel about it but yeah
warnings: toxic relationship i think? But its resolved in the end. Angst, miscommunication, anger management issues, conflict, break-up, but as I said, resolved in the end.
honorable mentions: female reader, 1.9k words, not proofread
Katsuki Bakugou.
Many might think he's an open book, a simple, hotheaded boy with anger management issues. He doesn't know any feelings other than anger. He can't understand others' emotions, doesn't care.
They were right about him being bad at controlling his emotions, but everything else was false. Bakugou had never been a simple person, and it was rare he met someone who truly understood him. You, for instance, were the only one that had come as close to understanding him, but no one could ever understand someone fully, could they?
Still, ever since he had met you, Bakugou was trying to change, or he liked to think he did. You did, too.
You tried to ignore those times it became apparent that he couldn't, didn't, wouldn't. As much as Bakugou tried to prove to you that he was giving it his best to try and change, there were times that proved it incompetent, not enough, and even a lie.
But you always did your best to forget, suppress the thoughts. It was near impossible not to when Bakugou came back to you, an apology hanging from his lips -although never spoken-, warm hands pulling you to him for a hug.
He's trying to change, you repeat to yourself. He's trying to change.
You think of the last fight you had and shiver as he lies on you, eyes droopy with sleep, nuzzling his face to your neck as you rub soothing circles on his back. The way his back rises and falls steadily makes you smile.
It was gradually getting worse, the fights.
As the months passed and exams approached, Bakugou became even more jittery. You felt your heart sink as you remembered his spitting words, "you're not even in the hero course! How would you fucking know how I feel?" But you did. You knew your boyfriend far too well, and even though you weren't experiencing it firsthand, you could see how stressful it was for him.
"Stop fucking babying me!" He had shouted when you tried to approach him, to get him to calm down. "Can't you see I'm trying to change? I'm doing all of this for you, and you keep asking for more- I-I'm doing it for you, okay? I'm trying to become better, so stop asking for more!"
You weren't asking for more, that, you wanted to say. You were trying to-to help.
"I don't want you to do this for me, if all the reason you're changing is for me, stop! I want you to change for yourself, not for me!"
That was unfair, how he was looking at you like he hated you, like he wanted you to disappear.
It's okay, you tell yourself. Katsu's with me now, in my arms, calm, promised me he would try to get better.
And he did, too. He always did. After a fight, Bakugou became the kindest person you knew, treating you like fragile glass, showing you love in his way. And it always led you to think. This is it. No need to worry anymore, you tell yourself when he kisses you softly, oh, so- so softly that you're sure there's no way this man that's holding you like this would ever hurt you ever again. Never.
That never is never longer than a few days, though.
In a few days' time, he- Katsuki forgets. The spite comes back, the snarky comments fitted in his sentences, the slight anger in his eyes. Why is he so angry? That, you can never tell. He's furious with you all the time, even when he himself doesn't know it.
"Katsuki?" You whisper meekly, and his eyes flutter sleepily. "Do you love me?"
Yes, he wants to say, I love you more than I love myself. But it's a soft grunt you get as an answer.
It's okay, though, since you understand it well.
~
"Tell that extra to bring my shit back." It's a gruff sentence voiced with a fury that tears you away from your thoughts.
For a second, your heart leaps. It's Katsuki! But the feeling sinks quickly. "It's Bakugou to you." You remember when he told you that, you remember too well the way he spitted the words as if he had spitted them on your face, a lump appearing in your throat quickly. He's not talking to you, rather about you, and it stings even more. You're the extra now, an extra that has his belongings in their room and nothing else, and he can't even tell you to bring them himself. Kirishima does it for him.
A half a bottle of his perfume that was never successful at suppressing his sweet smell.
A sweatshirt of his that he knew was your favorite.
A pair of socks, pencils and some other pieces of clothing, the usual.
A full, newly-bought bottle of his shampoo.
For some reason, that last one hurts more than anything else. It's not the shampoo itself, rather the fact that it's new, that Bakugou bought it just a few days ago when breaking up was never a thought.
Why did you break-up? It's very complicated. So complicated that you don't know it yourself. But you do know that he's angrier than ever, with you even more, for some fucking reason. He can't stand the sight of you, you know, he knows, too.
Bakugou himself doesn't know why he's so angry at you. He was the one who broke up, so what gives him the right to feel like this? Why do his hands clench into fists with the sight of you? His heart beating twice as fast with fury, head dizzy, his teeth clench, he can't breathe, a tightness heavying on his chest. With anger, he repeats. All these feelings are because he's so angry with you.
The day you knock on his door, a soft thump audible from the other side of the door, Bakugou knows you brought back the box of his belongings, and he wants nothing more than to open the door and pull you in. But what is he going to do after that? He doesn't know. All he does know is that the lump in the back of his throat is because he's holding back angry shouts. His eyes are stinging with tears that are caused by anger. There is a feeling boiling in the pit of his stomach that makes him feel sick, but it must be fury.
Why did you leave it to the door? Couldn't you have waited for him to open it and look at you for once? Do you hate him that much?
You have the right, too.
~
Bakugou hates to see you cry.
It's so annoying, he decides one day, as he catches a glimpse of you crying in your friend's arms, hugging them, telling them how much you missed Bakugou as they rub circles on your back.
"He never deserved you, anyway." He hears them say. It makes you cry even more.
Seeing you cry always makes him feel angry, Bakugou decides.
~
The way he discovers the reason for his anger is in a rather sick way.
All it takes is for him to see you laugh.
It's spring, the winter you broke up is over, the feelings aren't, though.
You're laughing, and you look so pretty under the tree, body swiftly shaking with laughter that doesn't seem to end.
Bakugou knows you like spring, and he notices it's been more than a winter since he last saw you laughing like this. Even before you broke up, he realizes you hadn't been laughing as you did now. That realization stings. You always laughed, smiled when you were with him, but it had a tinge of bitterness that never seemed to go away.
For the first time, it doesn't anger him, but it hurts.
Somewhere inside, Bakugou had always been able to sense your bitter melancholy. It's a feeling you felt even when you were the happiest, but he just hadn't realized it. Like pieces of a puzzle, every other realization starts dawning on him too.
He was angry at you because you always made him feel like he could never make you happy. All he could do was make you cry, you cried and cried, whenever you were with him, and it made him feel so frustrated- he hated it, he hated, hatedhatedhatedhatesyou.
But it wasn't you, it was never you Bakugou was angry with, but it was Bakugou himself.
Bakugou hates himself for never being able to make you happy.
Bakugou was never angry at you, he realizes. He was heartbroken. All those times he thought it was fury he felt when he saw you-
People think Bakugou doesn't feel anything other than anger.
They're wrong.
Bakugou feels many other things than anger, but he doesn't know how to differentiate them.
~
The next time you meet, there are two changes you realize about each other.
It's a cold night, another sleepless one you let yourself feel everything you suppress during the day. You don't expect to hear footsteps approaching you, it's the dead of the night and very cold, but you freeze when you take note of the sweet smell the sound brought with it.
You can't speak, do anything other than raising your eyes that are wet with tears to see if it really is the owner of your heart.
"We need to talk."
You don't want to, but you missed his voice more than you thought, that you're unable to leave.
But it's the moment your eyes meet with his blood-red ones that you realize why he's here. For the first time in a long while, there isn't a trace of anger in Bakugou's eyes.
He looks sorry, and that night is the first time you hear him apologize to you.
Despite how much he wishes it was, this apology isn't the last.
Bakugou is flawed. He will and does make you cry, maybe more than anyone else. He knows it, and you do too. But love is a strange thing, and it took him years to realize that you would rather cry your heart out than be without him.
So this time, when he takes you between his arms and lets you cry, two things have changed since the last time you both were in this position.
1: You noticed that this wasn't going to be the last time you cried because of Bakugou.
Throughout your relationship, you hoped, prayed that fight you had was going to stay the last, it never was. This way of thinking was flawed, damaging the relationship as much as the fights did. Bakugou could feel your growing sadness, dissatisfaction, fear that you were going to fight at every smallest disagreement you had, and they did nothing but make him angry, turning the conflict into a full-blown fight.
2: Bakugou wants to change. And not for you, but himself.
He wants to be a better person. He always did, but it was only because you asked him to. He wanted to be better for you, and it was the only thing he could think of whenever you told him he had to change. Its pressuring, made him insecure, made him feel like anything he did was never enough. But this time, right then as he envelopes you and pulls you into his embrace, Bakugou wants to be a better person. Not for you, not for anyone else. He just wants to be better, and he will start here.
#bnha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bnha x you#mha x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#mha imagines#bnha scenarios#bnha bakugou#bnha imagines#bnha x y/n#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x reader#mha x y/n#mha x you#bakugo x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo imagine#bnha angst#mha angst#bakugou angst
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Chapter 41: Baby (Preview)
Summary: His whole life Marco Diaz has been raised by monsters, living under the cruel rule of their leader, Toffee. But one day Marco escapes into Mewni where he meets a magical princess and Mewman like himself, who begins teaching him all about her world. Together they will learn about life, love, and the lights within each of them, as they change their world forever.
Chapter Synopsis: The time has come for Star’s magic performance review to test her knowledge and growth as the wielder of the wand. Although Star is nervous her and Marco have done all they can to prepare her for the test and they are confident she will pass. But when Baby arrives things don’t exactly go the way they planned...
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Index
Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.
“Okay concentrate, Star. You can do this,” Marco said in an encouraging tone, making sure to keep a supportive smile on his face as he watched his girlfriend cross her arm into an 'x' symbol, the wand held tightly in her left palm, pulsing with pink magic just waiting to be set free.
Star closed her eyes, sucking in a deep breath, before muttering softly to herself, “I can do this.” The girl then began an intricate series of steps, the wand waving around as her body gracefully danced through each technique with practiced ease, Marco completely awestruck by his girlfriend's movements no matter how many times he had seen it in the last few days. The way Star owned every flick of her wrist or turn of her hip left Marco speechless, her body moving with the grace and poise of a professional ballerina. Her feet were always in the correct position and her arms were always kept at just the right angle, the wand leaving trails of magic sprinkling to the ground with each new gesture.
Finally Star held the wand aloft, shouting in a clear, calm voice, “Warnicorn Stampede!” There was a burst of pink magic in front of the blond royal, before a single, tiny unicorn appeared in front of them, looking completely harmless and adorable. “Aww,” Marco cooed, unable to resist fawning over the cute creature his girlfriend had just created. The little unicorn let out an adorable neigh before trotting forward right into a head-on collision with Star's couch.
Star face-palmed, groaning in annoyance and disappointment, before loudly exclaiming, “Ugh, what am I doing wrong? Why can't I figure out this lousy spell?!”
“Well it is the hardest spell in the book,” Marco pointed out, as he flipped through page after page of Star's spell book, trying not to get lost in the intriguing and dense knowledge this book contained. “Glossaryk said most queens can take years to learn it.”
“Yeah well if I don't get this down soon, I'm gonna fail the magic exam for sure,” Star retorted, crossing her arms bitterly in front of her chest.
Marco thought over his reply for a moment, trying to come up with the best way to comfort his friend. He knew Star had been stressing ever since the Magic High Commission first announced Star have a magic performance review to see how far her abilities with the wand had come. They had given Star only a week to prepare for the upcoming exam and since then Marco had spent hours upon hours helping to get Star ready for the test. And now, on the day of said exam, he knew she was more than ready for anything her examiner could throw at her. But it was Star who needed the convincing, second guessing herself as she failed the one spell in the book she had yet to master. Not that he blamed her, the pressure had to be unbearable for her, failing would mean proving to the world that she was unfit to wield the wand and Marco knew how terrified Star was of being seen that way.
Failure was simply not an option. Especially since both Star and Marco suspected the whole exam was just another scheme by the MHC to sabotage their commission. Star seemed to have no doubt that if she didn't pass the MHC would disband their commission so that Star could 'focus on her studies', which only added to the pressure the blond royal was feeling. Finally, the hooded teen spoke up in the most reassuring tone he could, “You aren't going to fail, Star. We've been practicing all week, you've read the Book of Spells top to bottom, you know every spell including the ones that were removed from the book, you're more than ready.”
“Except for the one spell I can't get right,” Star reminded him, gesturing over to the little unicorn who was now chewing on Star's couch cushion. “If Baby asks me to cast Warnicorn Stampede I'm totally dead.”
“Well remember what Glossaryk said, your emotions effect your magic, that's probably why you can't cast it,” Marco pointed out, still flipping through pages of the spell book. “I'm sure you'll get it down in time.” He cringed as he came across a page covered in chains with a large skull on it, quickly flipping to a different page. When he had first come across that he had asked Star about it and all she had told him was that it was a forbidden chapter and that no one was allowed to look in it. Marco had steered clear of that section of the book ever since. Though he did wonder why Glossaryk hadn't removed it with the rest of the dangerous spells.
“Yeah, you're right,” the blond replied, letting out a breath of relief, her hands fiddling with the handle of her wand. “I guess I'm just nervous, is all.”
Marco closed the book before going over to his girlfriend and pulling her into a comforting hug. “Hey, I believe in you. I know you're gonna pass this test with flying colors,” he whispered into her shoulder. He could feel Star's body relaxing in his grip as she let out a deep sigh, finally untensing for the first time in hours, maybe even days.
“Thanks, Marco,” the girl said, before finally pulling out of the hug, a bright grin on her pretty face. “What would I do without you?”
Marco shrugged. “Don't know, though you'd probably get a lot less hugs,” the boy said playfully.
Star laughed before giving him a friendly shove, chuckling, “I'm serious!” The two shared a laugh together before the blond gave him a shy grin, the gentle look in her crystal blue eyes sending goosebumps down Marco's spine. “Thanks though, Marco. Really, I mean it. You have no idea how much you've helped out this week and I don't just mean helping me get ready for the test. If it weren't for you I'd probably be a jittery mess by now.”
“Ah, I doubt that,” Marco replied, his cheeks flushing some. “You're way braver than I am, Star.”
“Hey, don't sell yourself short,” Star retorted, cupping his face in her hand while giving her boyfriend a loving smile. “You're just as brave as I am, maybe even more. The only reason I'm so brave is because of you, when I see you facing whatever makes you afraid it makes me want to do the same.” The girl then leaned forward giving her boyfriend a tender kiss on the lips. Marco closed his eyes letting the moment wash over him, the two besties sharing a blissful moment as one, their heartbeat once again beating in time together.
Finally the two parted, giving each other goofy but incredibly happy looks, their cheeks painted pink as Marco finally said, “Well I'm glad I could help.” The girl laughed before pressing her forehead to his. “You always are.”
“So you think you're ready to try that spell again, Star?” Marco asked, giving her an encouraging smile. He felt Star's body tense up just slightly but the hooded teen could now see the resolve in her eyes as she nodded.
“Yeah, let's do it,” the girl said with unwavering determination.
Marco stood back as Star crossed her arms again, taking a few smooth breaths before beginning the incantation dance once again. Her body moved as fluidly as before, every step perfect and on point as she went through the motions just like every time beforehand, but to Marco's surprise Star's wand was now glowing white instead of the typical pink and her hearts were glowing brighter than ever. Finally the girl finished her spin before holding the wand overhead and shouting, “Warnicorn Stampede!”
Marco watched slack-jawed as at least a dozen warnicorns appeared behind her in a puff of smoke, neighing loudly as they galloped through Star's room in a wild herd, knocking over anything they came close to and impaling objects with their sharp horns. Star undid the spell quickly, leaving her room a tattered mess but she didn't seem to care as she began jumping up and down in joy shouting, “I did it! Marco I did it! I just pulled off my very first Warnicorn Stampede!”
“Oh Star I'm so happy for you!” Marco shouted as Star pulled him into an excited hug. She lifted him off the ground spinning him around in a circle as the two laughed and cheered for the blond's success. Once Marco was on his feet again, the boy declared, “I knew you could do it!”
“Thank, Marco, guess you believing in me was all I needed,” Star said, her bright grin incapable of vanishing, her eyes gleaming with self-pride and it made Marco's own heart leap at the sight. He couldn't think of the last time he saw Star this happy with herself and it made him swell with pride knowing he had been partially responsible for his girlfriend's positive change in attitude.
But a ringing from Star's phone drew their attention away from all the celebrating as Star ran over and picked up her mirror, flipping it open to read the new message. Her eyes widened before she turned to Marco and said, “Looks like I figured it out just in time, too. Baby's on her way now. Shawn just gave me the head's up.”
“Wait, since when do you and Shawn talk to each other?” Marco asked in confusion.
“Since I bribed him with some of our super awesome nachos, no creature can resist those,” Star replied, shooting her boyfriend a wink.
Marco smiled before focusing on the task at hand, asking, “Okay so how long do we have?”
Star shrugged. “Not long, she could be here any minute,” the blond replied, biting her lip as her anxiety returned once more.
“Okay well I'll go check on the food, you stay here and... clean up,” Marco said. The two cringed at they looked around at Star's destroyed room.
“Good idea,” the blond replied, putting her mirror phone away before starting to work repairing her room back to his normal state.
“Back in a few,” Marco said as he ran for the door, wanting to hurry and not leave his girlfriend alone for too long. He needed to be there when Baby arrived to help keep Star calm. Besides he was beyond curious who this Baby was after a week long build up.
“Okay,” Star called after him, pushing out any troubling thoughts as she just focused on her task, thankful for something to do to keep her mind off everything. The last thing she needed now was to psych herself out.
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Utterly Stunning
Peter Parker x Insecure!Reader
Requested: Anonymous asked: peter parker w insecure reader? like maybe she has an internship with Stark and she doesn’t show up so he goes to check on her. peter finds her upset because she still has acne even tho she’s 17, and she’s kinda small (like fr I weigh less than 100 lbs) and people comment on it, even family and friends? i’m having a rough week, my friends asked me how much i weigh since it came up and i told them i was 99 and they were all like ‘do you even eat?’ and blah blah blah and it just kinda hurt
Word count: 1.7k
Warning: Read request.
I hope this is what you expected sweet anon! Enjoy and feel all the love Peter has to give to you ;)
Once again, Peter made his way to The Avengers Facility. He did this twice a week to talk to Tony, go over some possible suit-improvements together and ask him about everything his mind could come up with.
Talking to Tony Stark was easy now, a routine if you could call it that and the two of them genuinely build up a bond.
Pepper was there too every now and then. She loved seeing the pair work together on a new gadget and sometimes getting into an argument but never a heated one. Tony could never be angry with Peter, and that was the most adorable thing about it.
Usually you were there too as an actual intern, learning about all the different technologies and suits, developing various amounts of improvements… But not today. You hadn’t shown up at the usual hour and both Peter and Tony were getting quite worried about your absence. You hadn’t called in sick either, adding to the guys’ suspicions.
“Has she texted you today at all, Parker?” Tony asked after making sure you hadn’t called in.
“Let me check.” Peter reached for his phone in his back pocket. As the screen lit up with Ned, MJ and him on the background, the only notification he saw was a message from May.
“No, I didn’t get anything from her. Maybe she slept in and forgot to set her alarm?”
“That’s possible, but I don’t feel good about this.” A line appeared between Tony’s eyebrows and his hand glided over his stubbled chin. Something wasn’t right and he knew it. You were always on time, always made sure not to do anything wrong or step in anyone's way… This was totally out of character for your norms.
“Peter, when you leave for the day could you possibly pass by (Y/N)’s place? I have a feeling something isn’t adding up and unfortunately I haven’t got the time to go myself.”
“Of course, sir, I was thinking of doing the same thing!”
“Good.”
As they tinkered a while longer it grew quiet again, both of them being preoccupied by the thought of something happening to you. Sweet smart (Y/N), what could possibly be going on?
*~*~*~*~*~*
Entering the lobby of your apartment building always made Peter’s heart go a little faster. Seeing you, being near you in general made him more jittery and nervous but at the same time joyful and excited.
The ride in the elevator up to your floor was just as nerve wracking as making his final exams. Stressful because what if something went wrong, but thrilling because afterwards he would be having an amazing time.
He breathed in deeply simultaneously as the ding of the elevator went off. More nervous with the second he even tripped over the rug in the hallway, scolding himself in his head for being so clumsy, once gain.
“Please, don’t be this stupid when she’s talking to you”, he whispered to himself before knocking on your apartment door.
Even after two minutes of him standing there, balancing on the balls of his feet and his tiptoes, no one opened.
He knocked again, waiting a few more seconds but it was no better this time.
His worry grew little by little and eventually he decided to take matters into his own hands. What if you were really in trouble? What if someone hurt you and he wasn’t there to help? It would honestly break him to know something was horribly wrong and he didn’t do a thing to get you out of it.
Peter took off towards the window at the end of the hallway and opened it whilst making sure no one was there to see what he was about to do. Finally he climbed through the window, sticking his hands to the wall outside and climbing ‘spider-style’ towards your room window. Luckily for him your apartment was pretty far from the city center so nobody would notice this eighteen year old climbing against apartment walls, about five stories up.
And there, right next to your window, you sat with tears in your eyes whilst clutching your knees towards your chest.
This sight made Peter’s jaw fall open and his eyes shine with even more worry than he ought possible. How heartbreaking it felt to see you there like you just had the toughest day of your life.
When you noticed the figure peeking through your window from outside you jumped out of your spot, almost falling to the floor as you brought up your hand to your chest. But you quickly realised it was only Peter, your best friend and probably the sweetest boy you ever met, so you calmed down in an instant.
Reaching for your window you opened it for him but not before wiping the little tears from your eyes in hopes he didn’t catch onto your bewildered state. But who were you trying to fool, if he hadn’t seen your distress he sure as hell felt it because of his spider-senses.
Peter glided through your window steadying himself before looking up at you with the biggest puppy-eyes you had ever seen. He looked worried, sad and maybe even a little protective, standing there with his arms wide as if to say ‘let me give you a hug’.
Your walls were up and you weren’t planning on letting them be pulled down, not this time. Honestly you felt embarrassed about crying over something you shouldn’t even have given a second thought. So you stayed at a distance, not quite sure what Peter could be doing in your room anyway.
“Were you the one knocking at the door?” you asked him whilst trying to keep your voice steady. “I’m sorry I didn’t come say hello I’m just not really in the mood for talking.”
“I came to check on you”, Peter answered abruptly, “Tony is worried about you…”
“Oh, yeah I see.”
“And I really was too.”
You stared at the ground, most probably blushing a little as you felt your cheeks heat up and your hands go a little clammy. Peter took a few steps closer, he knew something was up and you felt his nervousness purely because of the way he moved towards you and the light stutter that escaped his lips every now and then.
“I’m still worried, you don’t look too good. Have you slept well?”
“Well thanks Peter, I didn’t know I looked that bad!”
“You know I didn’t m-mean it like that. (Y/N), you’re gorgeous but just not… you know, not as bubbly and happy as you normally are.” He wanted to slap himself across the face again. He really needed to learn to think before opening his mouth.
“What’s going on? Why didn’t you come to the facility today?”
“Didn’t really feel like it, I guess.”
“How come?”
“Peter, please just leave it. It’s nothing important, it’s ridiculous I shouldn’t even be upset about it.”
Peter was taken aback. You looked genuinely upset, like you could start tearing up at any moment again but too stubborn to tell him anything about it. Normally you would’ve told him every detail already, would’ve jumped at him for a much needed hug. He didn’t understand what was keeping you so distanced.
“If you’re getting this upset about it then it’s definitely not ‘nothing’, (Y/N).”
And there they were again, the tears.
Peter knew how to get to you without even having to try. Sometimes it made your blood boil but most of the time you couldn’t love it more. You needed to let things out, had to tell somebody you trusted without feeling judged because others did that enough already.
You needed Peter, right there, at that exact moment.
He noticed your sudden change of mood. Immediately without wasting a single second he ran up to you, holding you steady in his arms. His touch was soft as if not to break you, but at the same time strong, giving a feeling of safety. You almost felt loved being there in his arms, not saying anything for a few seconds and only letting the tears fall and eventually dry up.
After a while when he felt you had calmed down a little, Peter spoke up in the sweetest most caring way possible. It was like honey dripping from his lips, you felt the tenderness with every word and it made you feel like floating.
“Tell me, lovely, what’s going on?”
Someone cared, that person being Peter. He didn’t judge, he didn’t look at you weird, he saw you as you.
“It’s my family and even some of my friends… They comment on all my faults like… like-”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m just meant to do something about it. But I can’t, Peter, this is who I am and I can’t just change something like my weight or my acne.”
“Is that what they comment on? For real?” Peter’s voice grew a little angry, like he couldn’t believe the audacity of people daring to comment on what you looked like.
He thought you were wonderful just the way you are and hoped you would realise that some day. Even with the stains of salty tears on your cheeks and the redness of your eyes he thought you were stunning, every flaw showed your beauty a little more.
In his eyes not a single person had the right to make you doubt yourself. It wasn’t right, they weren’t right. If they didn’t see your beauty then they needed to open their eyes and take a good look at you, further than the weight, further than the acne. Because those little things didn’t outshine your cute nose, your shining hair, your sparkling eyes and stunning smile.
You were you, why wouldn’t that be enough?
Peter’s plan now was very simple, making you realise how amazing you were, inside and out, just by being you. He raised his hands to your cheeks caressing them with his thumbs and simultaneously wiping the leftover tears away. Afterwards he kept his old on your face, pulling it a little closer and pressing his lips to your forehead kissing it with absolute tenderness then playfully booping your nose. You giggled and just like everything else about you, he loved the sound.
“You’re ridiculous, Peter.”
“Only ridiculously in love with you.” He blushed, you silently gasped.
He was going to make you see yourself like he saw you, nothing less than utterly stunning.
#peter parker#spider-man#spiderman#x reader#peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#spider-man x reader#imagine#fanfiction#peter parker imagine#peter parker fanfiction#spider-man imagine#spider-man fanfiction#spiderman imagine#spiderman fanfiction#marvel#marvel imagine#marvel fanfiction#mcu#tom holland#my writing#fan writing#utterly stunning
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Welcome to the DC Universe - Tim Drake x Reader Headcanon
Request: “I really love your 'welcome to the dc universe' stuff. May i ask a Tim Drake ver? To complete it? Ty”
AN: After three scrapped drafts, four months of delays, and a whole year of planning, I’ve finally have gotten to post Tim’s version of WttDCU. I’m so sorry that it has taken so long, it’s been a long time going and after scraping it three times, I’ve finally figured out the story that I wanted to tell. It’s different than the other boy’s but in all honesty, I’ve grown to love this one so much and even though writer’s block did not help me whatsoever, I’m very proud of what this had become. I hope you guys enjoy, let me know what y’all think, and I love you guys, just want to make sure you guys know that!
Since you were a kid, you were absolutely obsessed with Batman.
Like Batman: The Animated Series was the shit for you, and you were seriously obsessed with it.
Since you were so young, you always loved the Robin character, from Dick Grayson to later Tim Drake. (Unfortunately, Jason Todd was never really in the show from what you remembered.)
Even as you grew older, you often rewatched the series every now and then.
But then you started going for the comics, and oh wow there was a richer story with them.
The Batman series were always your favorite though, you would often read through those the most, especially the ones with the rest of the Batfam.
Hell, you loved almost everyone there, especially the third Boy Wonder.
Oh man did you have a crush on that dude.
To you he seemed the most relatable, especially when you started college this semester.
The sleepless nights spent studying, the constant amount of work that needed to be done, and the ever present need for coffee. (Oh you needed that crap injected in your veins at this point, because you were about ready to crash and burn.)
Yep, very relatable.
Especially now at the most stressful wonderful time of the year, when finals are running rampant and with you craving an end to this misery called a semester.
By some miracle of the gods though, you had just made it out of your last exam of the hell quarter and you were ready to just melt away into nothing. (Or freeze into oblivion because it was way too freaking cold outside to function.)
Since it was freezing outside and you finally had a time to relax, you decided that a long and warm shower would be absolute heaven right now.
So after trudging to your apartment that was five minute walk from your campus, and tugging off your warm layers, you hop into the shower, goosebumps littering your skin from the cold.
You turned on the shower, letting the warm water tug you into bliss.
Which was interrupted by a large crash that sounded as if it originated from your kitchen.
At this, your eyes could be compared to one of a deer in front of headlights.
Absolutely no one else should be in the apartment right then because your roommate left two days ago to go spend time with her family for the holidays.
To make matters worse, you didn’t bring any change of clothes into the bathroom because they weren’t there.
Oh you really wanted to cry right then and there but you stare at the shower curtain rod that you were going to put in to replace the old one, but have now found a new use for it.
Turning off the water, you get your towel, securing it around yourself and grabbing the rod that you were now going to use as a makeshift bat.
Opening the door slightly to check if the coast was clear, you glance out, seeing nothing for the moment and opening the door more as silently as you could walking out with the rod up and ready for anything.
The hallway was clear so then you take the hallway to the kitchen.
You were thinking that it was a dumb move on your part, hell, that’s how people die in horror movies and here you are doing that exact thing.
So when you walked in and saw what was in your kitchen, you screamed.
Mostly out of shock and surprise, plus a tiny amount of fear pinched in there too.
There was a dude dressed up as Red Robin leaning against your counter trying to stay upright.
You weren’t sure what you were expecting but this sure as hell wasn’t it.
Not that you were complaining or even thinking about complaining because you notice that this dude is bleeding all over.
This is when you snap out of your freaked out daze and put down the shower rod and help the guy out.
”Okay my dude,” You pull him to sit on the stool by the counter. “I need you to sit here for a sec.”
He lets off a weak nod, his breathing very ragged, but you already left to get your first aid kit.
Not even a moment afterwards you come back with it in your hands, putting it on the counter as you pop the case open.
You then move to peel off the armor you slowly process the past couple events.
”Oh geez Tim.” You mutter, starting to disinfect the wounds on the front off his chest.
”Wait a sec, how do you know my name?” He states, stiffening under your touch and he alcohol being rubbed in.
”You my dude, aren’t in Kansas anymore,” You stated bluntly.
”What’s the supposed to mean-” His eyes widen, “Oh crap, Wizard of Oz reference-”
”Means that you aren’t in your universe anymore, I think anyway,” You say, moving on to another open wound.
”Yeah, but how do you know my name? Do you know this universe’s version of me?” He asks, looking at your face.
”Uh no,” You glance up at him, “Not exactly.”
”Then how do you know it?” His eyes narrow slightly, causing you to move your eyes away from his and to the work that you were currently doing.”
”T-That's going to be a lot to explain,” You stutter.
”Well I’m not going anywhere soon so please explain away.”
So you do, and Tim got very weirded out.
Not at you, but the whole “My Life Is a Source Of Entertainment” to this universe and the fact that he wasn’t even real here.
You didn’t blame him, this was also weirding you out to the max.
Like it's not everyday that your fictional crush pops out of nowhere in the middle of your kitchen.
Then there was the reason that he got there in the first place.
Turns out that he was fighting with the rest of his family against a powerful warlock, and they were winning when all of a sudden there was a flash of bright light when he then felt himself falling.
Then the next thing he knew, he landed in someone’s kitchen.
So that leads to where you two were at now, sitting on your couch, as you look through whatever DC comics you owned and showed them to him so he could see what you were talking about.
The two of you spent a couple hours reading through them.
You guys stopped when your yawns were growing large in numbers.
So you help him put the couch together for him to be more comfortable and head to bed.
Either way, you guys progressively got closer as the days pass.
Like you guys became friends very quickly.
Often times he really liked hearing you talk about your life, especially your interests and your opinions on everyone he knows.
Like how if Bruce sees an orphan he’s got to adopt them.
Or how Jason and Damian were complete and utter hotheads but still likeable in their own odd little ways.
But one that kinda rubbed him the wrong way was that you thought that Dick was a ten out of ten in almost everything. (Especially looks.)
He just shrugged it off.
What he did like the most though was that he didn’t need to hide anything from you.
It was all out in the air and it was a freedom that was kind of new for him.
Then the holiday rush really started to hit.
You were originally just going to spend a couple days with your family till after New Years.
Now you weren’t sure what you were going to do.
Eventually you got the idea to invite Tim to go with you to your parents house.
There was only one thing stopping you though.
Would he even want to?
Oh man you didn’t know where you’d put yourself if he said no.
Well, you did finally get the balls to ask him to go with you.
And you thanked whatever god was out there that he accepted.
Quite happily in fact.
So happily that he was smiling from the second you asked him to the moment he got into your car to travel to your parents.
That’s when he got a little jittery.
He wasn’t sure on how your family was going to react to him.
Like did they know about his life in Gotham?
Either way, you tried to help him out in that aspect and told him that he didn’t really have much to worry about, since in your family you were kind of the only one who was into the DC Universe.
But you guys did come up with answers to questions they might ask him.
For example;
”Where are you from Tim?” and his answer would be “I’m from New York.” (Since New York’s nickname was also Gotham and the cities are extremely similar.)
”What does your family do?” then he’d say, “My father is a businessman.” (Extremely vague but this was the only way to make sure there wouldn’t be any brows raised that would insure more questions.)
And, “What’s your major?” now this one he’s got a couple answers for but, “Criminal Science” had to be said. (For obvious reasons.)
The car ride went by pretty smoothly and the next thing you guys know, you’re at your parents house.
Oh the nerves were hitting the both of you pretty hard, but you both hid it as you guys walked inside.
Now your parent’s knew that you guys were coming (You called them beforehand.) but they were very curious about him.
It seriously wasn’t everyday that their daughter brought home somebody for them to not only meet, BUT to also stay over.
It was entirely out of character for you.
And they of course thought that there was something going on between the two of you before even stepping foot in the house.
So to say they were curious would be an understatement.
Your whole damn family was there at your house and everyone wanted to see the boy that you brought along.
All eyes were on you when the two of you walked in, hugs were given with kisses on the cheeks and the questions were flying all over the place.
Your mom though was the first one to greet the two of you, bringing you in for a hug and then going and pulling Tim in one right after, welcoming the two of you.
Tim took it very well, and he felt his nerves starting to go away.
The rest of the evening was spent with the family getting to know him and the same with him.
Your siblings liked him, your little brother especially. (He lowkey wished that Damian was more like this, and less on trying to make his life miserable.)
Your dad though was a little standoffish, and was trying really hard not to like him, like he was answering your dad’s questions with ease. (Plus, when the two of them went for a handshake, he wasn’t expecting Tim’s grip to be that strong.)
And your mom immediately liked him, she got a good vibe from him the moment they met.
The night went by in a series of laughs and good stories, but then it was time for everyone to got to bed.
The thing is all the beds were taken, except or yours.
Now when you realized this, there was a prominent heat on your cheeks.
But of course, the honorable Tim offred to sleep on the floor.
“Yeah you’re not sleeping on the ground, it’s freezing,” you state, lifting the sheets to get in, “plus I’d feel bad.”
He couldn’t argue against that so he went to the other side of you bed and crawled in.
Seeing how stiff he was, you decide to put on cheesy holiday movies on your laptop that you brought.
Putting it between the two of you, you only make it 45 minutes into the movie till you crash out.
Thing is, you were now leaning your head on his shoulder sleeping, and he blushed when he felt you nod off.
His heart was doing somersaults when he saw you sleeping, a warm feeling filling his heart.
So he turned off your computer and fell asleep with an arm wrapped around you holding you close.
After that night, the rest of your break went by in a blur.
Then the next thing you know, you were back at your apartment and life went back to normal.
Well as normal as it could have been with Tim now in the picture.
He was a good sport throughout it all.
But he needed to go home.
You guys did try your best to find a way to get him home, but it became clear that someone from the other side needed to open a portal or something.
So waiting was the only option.
It was taking his family a while though.
Enough to the point where it gave you both a bad feeling.
But you gave at least the Batfam the benefit of the doubt, Tim on the other hand, had thoughts about them forgetting him at the forefront of his mind, even as he tried to push them away.
Life goes on though, and days became weeks, weeks became months, and the next thing you knew it was March and school was eating you alive.
Currently you were in the middle of a APA essay on the couch, with Tim sitting with you, his nose stuffed in his own laptop. (Also working on stuff, but he was listening in on police conversations, old habits die hard.)
But then your roommate walks in from her 7 o'clock class.
Tim notices her pull out her phone, but something was going on with the coms, so he wasn’t paying attention to the sly smirk appearing on her face.
You weren’t paying attention, and one minute you were working on the essay and the next you had the back of a phone shoved in your face.
“And now witness the wild geek in her natural habitat, typing her life away as the rest of her sanity boils out of her blood shot eyes,” Your roommate narrates, trying and failing at doing a nature documentary voice over.
Your eyes narrow, “Bro, what the hell are you-”
“Oh but look,” Then she motions the phone in Tim’s, “There seems to be a male Geek, also having the life being slowly sucked out of him.”
She then turns the camera to face her, “Could it be some odd mating ritual? Or something else?” She lets out a dramatic sigh, “The world may never know-”
You each glanced to each other for a brief moment, and a devious smile crawls on both of your guy’s faces as you both got the same idea at the same moment.
It was lightning fast, the camera almost didn’t get it as you jumped on each other, lips meeting in a frenzy.
Cue your roommate.exe has stopped working and is now having an aneurysm because of h o l y s h i t.
Out of all the things that she thought that you’d do, like maybe throwing her phone across the room on to the other couch, she was not expecting that.
So that is basically how the two of you became a couple.
Funnily enough, though, it was all recorded on Snapchat.
Even funnier that your older sister was friends with her on Snapchat.
You had forgotten that until your phone was ringing and you saw her face on the screen.
Oh man, was she freaking out, she was happy though, if not a maybe a little grossed out. (Ain’t nobody want to see their sister like that.)
Tim could hear the whole conversation as he left the living room with you to your room and he was trying really hard not to laugh.
This was basically how the next few weeks went.
Only now there was the addition of you going and working out with him whenever he trains. (Which was legit almost every day, and your thighs have never started to look so good, but oh my god they were never this painful.)
But in all honesty, you guys were happy, yeah Tim was kinda sad that his family never came for him.
Yet he was grateful that you were there for him, through thick and thin, whenever his mind would go back to Gotham, whenever he’d wake up shaking and heaving from a nightmare, you were there to ground him and remind him that it would all be okay.
However, fate still wanted to make Tim’s life a living hell.
It was a normal day where you got up early to head to your 8 o'clock class, everything was just the same as you sat down, but it all started going to hell when all of a sudden your classroom was filled with a flash of bright light.
Your eyeballs felt like they were fried from how bright it was.
But you could still feel yourself falling.
And you just about felt your soul leave your body from how scared you were.
Thank god that it wasn’t a considerable height that you fell.
Well, it was long enough for you to have a bruise on one whole side of your body while you forgot to breathe for a good couple of moments.
With a groan you lift yourself on your elbows, only to yelp and duck as a piece of metal was thrown over your head.
What. In. The. Actual. Hell.
There were more being thrown in all sorts of directions, and you only realized where you were when you saw a couple dudes in colorful costumes fighting it out with a dude that kept throwing white flashes of light, almost like mini suns.
They even left blotches in your eyes as you watched.
But not only was he throwing fireballs, but he was also throwing random objects, which explained the whole iron beam thing.
They kept going, and from what you realized the Batfam kept going too.
Only until the evil discount Doctor Strange threw a light ball at his feet and then he was gone.
“Damn it!” You heard Batman yell dashing to the sport where the wizard dude was but it was already too late.
“Not this shit again!” You heard the Red Hood yell out.
They were all more agitated now, but they didn’t notice you shakily stand up.
“H-Hey!” You yell out.
They all turn their heads to you, not realizing you were there.
“Y’all need to get your head in the game if we’re going to get Tim back.”
This got their attention.
The next thing you know is that you’re getting whisked away to the Batcave.
Lots of interrogation after that.
Your nerves were fried before, but now you could feel them sizzling in your mind.
So was theirs but you were pissed but how long they waited to get to him.
“It’s been months you assholes!” You let the floodgates open now, “He lies awake at night wondering why you guys haven’t come to find him, he’s been in so much pain since fucking December-”
“Woah Woah Woah,” Jason says, holding his hands up, “It’s only been two weeks, and we’ve been fighting that asshole trying to get Tim back-”
“Dude, we’ve been waiting for like four months,” You say, a voice in a deadpan.
This scared everyone in the conversation.
It even scared you.
Time went faster where you were, and nobody knows how much time has passed.
Now you were feeling horrible about leaving Tim alone.
They all got somber after that.
Conversation died off soon after, but they weren’t on your ass anymore.
Eventually, they all were ready to crash, so they all went upstairs.
Which left you and Alfred, so he offered to take you to a room to let you rest.
And so you followed, anxiety making you not really up for conversation as he led you up and into the manor.
He led you to a room, and it only took you a few seconds to realized that it was Tim’s room.
It was as tidy, with a faint smell of coffee in the air and his laptop still open on his desk.
Alfred had a feeling that you and Tim were closer than what everyone else thought, he only took you there to see if he was right or not.
From the look of your face, he knew that he was right.
“I thought that you would be more comfortable here, it seems as if you and Master Drake were inseparable,”
You smile a little and nod, “We were,”
“Then I can reassure you that we will find him and bring him home,” He smiles for a moment, shutting the door quietly behind him as he leaves.
You didn’t sleep well that night, nor the next night after that or the next.
But you didn’t have to wait long before the wizard showed up again.
They wouldn’t let you go anywhere near the action, but you stayed with Oracle in the cave, so you were able to watch the scene unfold.
At first, it seemed as if they were outmatched, but they were slowly gaining ground, and the Discount Doctor Strange saw this, but before he could set off another portal, Nightwing found an opening to his head and knocked him out with one of his escrima sticks.
It was soon after that the man was taken into custody and soon after that was he getting interrogated by Batman.
But days later, he wasn’t budging.
They were getting desperate, and you were their last option on getting information out of him.
When you walked in and saw his eyebrows raise in surprise everyone knew that they hit something there.
“Surprising that you are here, darling,” You feel your gaze narrow.
“Who are you, and why did you send him away,” You say, voice like steel.
“The question is who are you, and why are you here while he’s there?” His voice was condescending.
“You’re the reason why I’m here, and the dozens of people you’ve displaced from their homes.” (A couple of your classmates were also transported to Gotham, just scattered around the city and were showing up at the GCPD ever since looking for help.)
“Oh but you don’t realize that you have this power as well, I could sense it,” he says, and evil smile revealing his grotesque teeth. “It’s small, but it is there,”
“I don’t have-” He cuts you off.
“Ahh, but you do.” The interrogation did not go much further.
But this did end up with you in the Batcave, trying to see if he was correct.
And for the moment, you were pretty sure the asshole was messing with you.
Much to your embarrassment, as Dick and Damian were also in there with you.
Dick was supportive, but Damian was more annoyed than anything else.
“Why can’t you just suck it up and-” Damian was in the middle of one of his many criticisms, but that was the last straw from you.
“I’m freaking trying goddamnit!” You yell out, throwing your arms out behind you, too much at the moment to actually notice the light surrounding them.
It took a couple of heaving moments to notice the look of shock on Dick’s face and the smugness on Damian’s.
“What?” You ask.
“Um (Y/n), look at your hands,” Dick says pointing.
You do and let out a yelp that was half excitement and half fear.
It then took you a couple minutes to turn it off, and a couple more as you figured out how to turn it back on.
You did this a couple more times, getting the hang of it and making sure that you could control them.
Then it was really time to put it to the test, after bringing the rest of the Batfam down, you open a portal that was big enough to get you though.
You let out a nervous laugh, “Wish me luck, guys.”
“We don’t need to, we already know Tim’s in good hands,” Dick says smiling.
“Bring him home, (Y/N),” Bruce says, hope in his gaze (An emotion rarely is ever seen on his face.)
And so you walk through, light blinding your vision as you step though.
For a couple moments, you blinked away the dark blotches left by the blinding light.
You let out a cry of joy when you realize that you were back in your apartment kitchen.
Dashing out of the room, and onto the hallway, you bump straight into a familiar chest, both your eyes widening at the sight of each other.
“Tim!” You exclaim out of breath, itching to hold him close.
At first, he couldn’t say anything, bringing his hands to your face as if he was making sure that you were real and were right there, whole in front of him. “(Y/N)?”
In less than a second, you guys were on each other, your arms wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist, neither one of you wanting to let go.
“Oh my god, (Y/N), where did you go, it’s been over a week, everyone has been worried sick,” He chokes up a bit against your neck.
“Heh, it’s a long story, but I’m pretty sure you want to hear it.”
You tell him everything that happened in the passed few days for you, and while he listened, he felt a weight lift off his shoulders.
His family didn’t forget him.
After you finished with your story, Tim filled you in on what was happening while you were gone.
Your family came when they found out what happened in your class, while he and your roommate were doing all they could to figure out how to find you.
You called them after Tim told you, and then you had everyone make it your apartment in almost no time.
You were pretty sure that you were never hugged and questioned more ever in your life.
Everyone stayed late, but eventually, they went to their hotel room for the night.
Then after a long hug from your roommate, she too retired to her room, and finally, both you and Tim were alone.
That was the first night that you too actually slept decently for a while. (After some you know what.)
But then the conversation came up about what the two of you were gonna do.
Tim had to get home, but you had a decision to make on whether you would stay or go with him.
After a lot of talking, you decided that you were going to go with him, but you would take frequent trips too and from so that you can stay in contact with your friends and family.
The next day you let everyone know what the plan was, at first they were hesitant ut they knew you’d be happier with him.
And the next day, you made a portal that took you and Tim back to the Batcave.
Turns out it a day had passed since you’ve gone back so maybe you could control what time you could get to a place, you thought but were interrupted when you and Tim were legit tackled by everyone, including Damian.
Tears were shed, feelings were spared, and a whole lot of love was pouring into the room.
Once everyone had gotten their selves partially together, you reached out for Tim’s hand, your finger’s threading together.
“Welcome home, Hon.” You say, smiling brightly.
Tim’s smile matches yours with a little amusement sneaking through, “Welcome to the DC Universe, Babe.”
#tim drake x reader#tim drake imagine#tim drake headcanon#tim drake imagines#Tim Drake#red robin x reader#red robin imagine#red robin headcanon#Red Robin#DC Headcanon#dc imagine#DC comics#dc comics imagine#dc#robin#robin headcanon#robin x reader
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No. 1 Party Anthem [2] | College!Tom AU
Pairing: College!DJ!Bartender/Barista!Tom Holland x Fem!Reader
Series Summary: You’re coming up on your last year of college, grappling with finally getting ready for the actual “adult” world and being in two majors you’re not crazily passionate about. When you’re in the middle of a stressful essay at your favorite local coffee shop/upstairs bar, Dommo’s, you meet Tom Holland, a barista and bartender.
You slowly get to know each other over sangria, and soon enough manage to slip your way into his world where the days don’t usually end until about 5 a.m., music is everything, and uncertainty is your best friend.
A story about late night laments, sangria, and a whole lot of growing up.
SERIES MASTERLIST | Ch. 1
Word count: 5.8K
A/N: Hello! Long time no post! Here’s the long awaited update. It’s a little bit more exposition here, but part three is when it starts getting a little bit more spicy. Primarily, we’re focusing on watching the reader developing more of her other friendships here. But stay tuned for pt. 3 which will be coming very soon!
“I don’t see why we couldn’t just go to Dommo’s,” you whined.
You’d been waiting nearly an hour in line outside of Over & Easy with Tony and Jacob. The day before, you made them promise to get mimosas with you Saturday morning, following their late-night adventures and your Friday night essay-writing. While Over & Easy was one of the best spots in town for brunch food, its popularity meant usually there was a battle for those wanting to get inside.
Jacob and Tony, rather than accepting your quiet suggestion to head over to Dommo’s, were insistent that Over & Easy was the best idea for today. Though it was bound to be busy, Tony was craving their french toast and Jacob said their mimosas were better deals anyway. (After all, Saturdays usually meant pitchers for $5, so he wasn’t wrong.)
“You just went there yesterday!” Tony said. “And we rarely come to Over & Easy.”
“C’mon, it’s good to do something different every once and a while,” Jacob said, nudging you.
“Well, it’s just for a place that’s named Over & Easy it just seems to be the exact opposite,” you huffed.
Jacob snickered, and Tony rolled his eyes at your statement.
“What’s going on with you? Why do you want to go to Dommo’s so badly?” Tony asked.
“My car is there,” you said. Tony and Jacob shot each other a look. You knew the jig was up; these boys could read you almost too well. “All right, I met someone there yesterday. He was really nice. And I wanted to see him again because I forgot to get his number.”
Tony and Jacob let out a long, “Ooooh,” at your response.
“Well, I hear all the Dommo’s bartenders and baristas are kind of fuck boys, Y/N, so it might be well-worth your time to just skidaddle anyway,” Tony said. “But I mean, if you want to meet him, just pop-in for more coffee or something when you go get your car.”
You bit your lip. “I know, but he just didn’t seem like the usual type for Dommo’s. He actually seemed nice, like he wanted to talk to me. He listened to me complain about my major for like two hours, and gave me free sangria. You don’t just give anyone free sangria.”
“We do every week,” Jacob replied, lifting his arms up. “Whine and Wine, c’mon.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Yes, but we’re close friends. This guy was a stranger.”
“Doesn’t our roommate work at Dommo’s?” Tony asked, slightly scrunching his face up.
Jacob shook his head. “No, you idiot. He works at Wilson’s.”
“I swore he told me that once,” Tony muttered, shaking his head.
At that moment, your group’s name was called out, and you were ushered to a table in the back that seated four. You all ordered a round of mimosas, but you were all going to stick to just that — only one. Tony and Jacob were admittedly a little bit hungover still from last night, and while you were fine, you thought it’d be good to still hold off after all the sangria you drank the night before.
You chatted with both Jacob and Tony about how classes were going so far. Tony was going to have a stressful upcoming week, considering he had an exam coming up in one of his chemistry classes. Jacob, however, was going to be able to take it easy this week. He was a film and acting student, and he only had to worry about a group project he was going to be tackling soon. For the most part though, he was more thrilled than anything when it came to its progress so far, discussing how he met this new girl named Zendaya he wanted to integrate into the friend group.
“She’s a great actress and one of the most laid-back girls I’ve ever met in my life,” Jacob said.
“What is she studying?” you asked, lifting your eyebrows up.
“Women studies and music theory, but she’s heavily involved in the theater scene too.”
“You have to invite her for whine and wine. We need someone new in the mix,” Tony insisted. He then turned to you. “Are you inviting anyone new?”
“Maybe Brynn,” you mused, shrugging.
Jacob and Tony both groaned.
They hadn’t completely warmed up to your friend after an ill-fated incident at a previous party where she, in a completely drunken haze, decided to start jumping on Tony’s already fragile bed, and ended up breaking it. They hadn’t seen her since, slightly agitating the relationship between them and her. In her defense, she did help Tony pay for a new headboard and whatnot. So she wasn’t completely disgraced — just not a favorite to have around.
“You know what that means, time to lock all the bedrooms,” Tony huffed.
You giggled at your friends response, shaking your head. “I don’t think she’ll do something like that again. Besides, it’ll be good to have her around again. You guys can actually get to know her this time around. She’s a good person to complain with.”
“Why couldn’t you just get the bartender’s number and invite him instead?” Tony griped. You knew he was (mostly) kidding, but you were a little bit sad when you realized how fun it would be to invite Tom to Jacob and Tony’s parties on Wednesday nights. You could sit in the corner and chat, sipping on more wine and just get to know each other.
“More mimosas?” your waitress asked, approaching your table.
“I think we’re going to stick to water now,” Jacob replied, thanking her.
After a surplus of french toast and laughing, you were soon walking along the street toward Dommo’s to pick up your car.
Chatter consumed the world around you and you weaved in between all the people who were heading toward their own hangover brunch. You couldn’t help smiling, thinking of how you loved your college town for all its quirks.
As you headed in front of Dommo’s, you immediately spotted your car in one of the two hour free-lots, groaning when you realized you’d gotten a parking ticket for exceeding on your allotted time. It was a $35 ticket — not the worst you’d ever gotten downtown, but still not great.
Figuring you had nothing to lose still, you popped your head inside, scanning the room for Tom.
You sighed when you realized he wasn’t inside, but told yourself that you could maybe make a run by another time. He still owed you that latté that he talked to you about last night anyway. Either way, you headed back to your car, tucking the parking ticket in your glove box.
***
Over the course of the weekend, you quickly got over Tom. You fixated on your homework that was due Monday and Tuesday, burned some candles, and caught up on your favorite television shows. He turned from your brief confidanté into a passing memory.
Soon enough, you were back in your poli-sci class, plopped next to Brynn on the left side of the classroom as your professor lectured. You were nervous about today. He’d sent out an email before class that said he would be handing back papers today — a paper you rushed to complete and barely glanced over. You knew your grade was bound to be fucked by the time you got yours.
While your thoughts spiralized, your classmates were consumed in a debate over the topic of the paper. You heard Brynn contribute to the discussion and you started to doodle on your notebook, in hopes of temporarily escaping your thought process.
You then felt Brynn nudge you, a typical cue for when she needed you to back her up on something. You figured it was the typical conservative boys in the corner giving her trouble, and lifted your head up.
“What’s going on?” you whispered in her ear. “I’ve been tuned out.”
She snickered. “Nothing really, just Brad and Chad here are saying that voter fraud is the reason Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, and it’s an epidemic across the country. No racist history behind voter laws whatsoever.”
You rolled your eyes. Of course, your poli-sci discussion always turned into this at one point. You typically enjoyed the debates a little bit more, but since it was still within the first month, you were in the less compelling element of class. You were less enthusiastic about the fact that you were currently stuck in this class with two of your least favorite fellow political science majors — Carter Higgins and Quentin Carver. They’d followed you through the political science classes since your freshman year, but most of the time, you were fortunate enough to only have one of them. This semester, you got both of them.
You were grateful when your professor decided to cut off the discussion early to hand back papers. You slumped back in your seat, somewhat eager to see your grade and yet not prospective about how it was bound to look.
Soon enough, your professor called out your name. Your fingers felt jittery as you walked up to the front, and grabbed the folded paper from his hand, and returned to your seat.
You unfolded the packet of paper carefully. You were surprised when you saw in red pen on the front a giant “A” and a note from him that said, “Excellent job.”
A wave of relief washed over you. You slumped back into your chair, this time in pure disbelief.
“What did you get?” Brynn asked, leaning over to spot it. “Holy shit, first paper and you already aced it. He’s a tough grader too. Congrats.”
You’d heard of this particular professor’s reputation before throughout others who took his class, so you were familiar with some of the horror stories when it came to grading. You knew it wasn’t just you who helped coordinate all of this, as your mind wandered back to your Friday night in Dommo’s and the bartender who was kind enough to look over your paper.
You focused back on Brynn. “Thanks! How did you do?”
She frowned, “B+, but still good. Better than I expected, that’s for sure.”
You packed up your things into your backpack, waiting patiently for everyone to be handed back their papers. Once everyone had, he gave a short overview of what to do on future papers, should anyone need help and reiterated his office hours incase anyone wanted to chat about their grade. Shortly after, everyone was dismissed, and you slung your backpack back over your shoulder. There was a bounce in your step as you approached the door to the classroom, but right as you were getting ready to leave, your professor called your name again.
You turned around, facing him. “Yes, Professor McKinley?”
“I was really impressed with your paper, Y/N. It was one of the best I’ve seen right off the bat in this class. You have a fairly impressive future ahead of you,” he said.
You were flattered by the statement. Sure, you excelled in all of your political science courses, and you were glad you were already doing well in this class in particular. Yet, the thought of the future still somewhat terrified you. You wanted to tell this professor so badly that you had no idea how you were going to handle things following this school year, and the last thing you thought the future would be for you was “impressive.”
“I’m currently looking for an undergraduate student to be a research assistant and join my team,” he continued. “I think you would be perfect for the job if you’re interested. I need someone that I know can analyze, write, and work well with others. Currently, I just have one person, Carter Higgins actually, who works with me, but I always like to have another person around while campaign season unfolds.”
You gulped. You weren’t sure if you wanted to work alongside Carter; you hated him. Yet, this was a tremendous opportunity. Professor McKinley was one of the most well-connected professors politically. If you wanted a job at a non-profit or in a politician’s office, he almost always had a way in. If you joined and impressed him, you could ride on his coattails.
“What exactly would I be responsible for?”
“Just doing research, maybe picking up some books from the library. We’d go to different parties of political candidates as well. You might accompany me to a few panels as the election approaches, all sorts of things. It’s a great opportunity to network and learn more about political research.”
You bit your lip. Admittedly, you didn’t like your current job so much. It’d be nice to do something during the school year that focused on what you were passionate about.
“I’d love to do it,” you said.
He beamed. “Great, I’ll send you a link tonight to apply. I’m looking forward to working with you, Y/N.”
You gave him a polite thank you, before exiting the room. Brynn was outside, leaning against a wall and waiting for you. You smiled when you saw her.
“What was that all about?” she asked, synchronizing with your step as you both exited the building.
“Professor McKinley just asked me to work for him and do something political research,” you said, not meaning to brag, but well, it did sound that way.
You hated whenever you talked to Brynn about things like this. While she was an amazing friend, she was prone to jealousy and being competitive. A lot of the times, that manifested in your friendship with one another.
You could tell she was a little bit envious about the offer you received, and you felt a little bit guilty. Soon enough, a smile was on her face. You weren’t sure how genuine it was.
“That’s good. You’re going to get a lot of good networking out of that,” she said. “Congratulations!”
And yet, it felt forced. You weren’t sure just why you felt so guilty. Normally, if something like this happened, you would wave off the person who was exhibiting this kind of jealousy. But it was Brynn, and Brynn was one of the most passionate people you’d ever met. She genuinely cared about political science; it was her life ambition. The opportunity would have meant so much more than a resume line and connections to her.
“Thanks,” you replied. “But here’s the downside, I have to work with Carter Higgins.”
She groaned and you felt a little bit better in knowing you could now joke with her about the offer.
“I fucking hate that kid. He thinks he’s so important just because he’s a man and knows how to walk on two legs,” Brynn muttered. “Timmy Turner lookin-ass.”
You giggled at your friend’s string of insults. None of them were inaccurate.
“Speaking of Carter, why were you so spacey today? I needed your back-up.”
You let out a long sigh, uneasy how to best navigate the conversation. You didn’t want to agitate the whole friendship you had between you and Brynn, since you’d known she spent all week working on the paper. You knew she was going to judge you just a little bit for your lack of promptness with the paper, particularly since you’d gotten the special offer from Professor McKinley.
So you settled for, “Oh, I’ve just been anxious all day.”
“Why?”
You hadn’t thought that far along yet.
“Just a number of different things,” you said slowly. You decided your best bet was to slowly spin off the truth. “And like, I don’t know, I was nervous about my grade on the paper because I didn’t think it was my best work, and like, this one is going to sound a little bit lackluster, but I met this cute boy this weekend. We flirted for a few hours and I really liked him, but I forgot to get his number.”
It was an exaggeration to an extent, but for the most part, there was no lie.
“Oh that always sucks. I’ve done something like that before,” she replied, frowning slightly. “But hey, maybe you’ll bump into him again sometime soon. And like, I feel you on the anxiety in general, because I get that all the time.”
You felt yourself simmer down after her response. There were so many reasons you liked Brynn, but primarily because she never invalidated you when you talked about the things that were stressing you out. Even if they were just small things like forgetting to get a boy’s number at a bar.
“So, tell me about the boy,” she nudged you on.
You smiled and recounted how you met Tom to her, and how you opened yourself up to him so immediately it surprised you. You told her how sweet he was, how he waited to ensure you were comfortable with him giving you a ride home and in making sure you got home safely to begin with.
“Wow, you’re smitten by someone you’d only met for maybe two hours,” Brynn remarked.
You laughed. “I know, highly unlikely for me right?” You shook your head, your eyes slightly sparkling. “Some people are just magnetic, though, you know? And I think he’s one of those rare types.”
Brynn donned a smile at your words. “I honestly never thought I’d see the day where you were so flustered over another person. Who knew Dommo’s would put something like this together, huh?”
Brynn was reasonably surprised. In all the years that she’d known you, you’d never really pursued a relationship with another person. Often when someone was interested, you’d go on a date, but it almost always turned into nothing besides maybe a brief fling. This was the first time she saw you genuinely entranced by another person since you’d both been at college.
It was just that you were a total stickler about dating people you felt like were just as motivated as you were. Or at least, people who could keep up with you in terms of interests and banter. Other potential significant others you’d met over the years were great, but you always felt like you were never fully understood by them.
There was something different about this thing with Tom. Finding common ground wasn’t an issue. He got you.
“Hopefully it stays a thing. I haven’t seen him since, remember?” you continued. “And I don’t know how to see him again considering I don’t exactly have his phone number or anything like that?”
“Well, hopefully we’ll find him somehow. Worse come to worse, just run to the studio on Friday and see if he’s around. Or go to Dommo’s again somehow. If he works there as much as he says he does, I’m sure you’ll bump into him eventually.”
***
It was Wednesday night, which only meant one thing for your friend group — Whine and Wine time. You pulled the Yellowtail you’d been saving in your cabinet out, placed it in a bag, and walked over to Jacob and Tony’s apartment.
When you first moved out of the dorms, you knew you wanted to live by yourself. Jacob and Tony desperately wanted you to move into their apartment, but you had a feeling that if you shared a home with them, you wouldn’t be able to handle their living habits. Even so, the three of you agreed to live in the same apartment complex anyway — that way if you ever wanted to hang out or get drunk at the others’ apartment, it wouldn’t be a far distance.
You’d arrived at their front door in less than five minutes. Jacob’s eyes brightened considerably when he opened the door and saw you, and you gave him a tight hug. You were the second person there; the first being Laura, who was an expert at making sangria and was helping them out.
Granted, the general rule in your friend group was to typically arrive 30 minutes after the planned time. So by that standard, you were still about 15 minutes early.
“You’re not going to believe who’s coming today,” Jacob said as soon as you walked into the apartment.
You raised an eyebrow, setting the yellowtail you brought on the counter. “Who?”
“Our roommate,” Tony said from the couch. He was sprawled across it, already half a wine glass into the night. “Can you believe it? I invited him, not really thinking he’d say yes, and he texted back that he’d love to come!”
“He’s gonna be here around 8 o’clock,” Jacob said, nodding his head.
You grinned. “Way to include him in the friend group finally, guys!”
“You’re awfully excited, Y/N,” Laura remarked from the kitchen.
“Okay, they’ve been telling me about this guy for a while now, and he’s so mysterious like- I’m just curious about him. Where does he go? What does he do? Is he cute?”
“She’s going to scare him off within the first five minutes of being here,” Tony said.
You rolled your eyes. “Or maybe he’ll be happy that someone is finally acting interested in his life around here. You guys just ignore him!”
Jacob raised his hand. “In my defense, I try talking to him. Tony barely acknowledges him in the kitchen.”
“I don’t,” Tony admitted. “It’s just weird, like what do we talk about?”
“Wait, so in the morning if you’re like in the kitchen at the same time you guys just stand there in silence?” Laura asked.
You nodded your head. “Tony does at least.”
Laura shot him a look. “You don’t at least say hi or anything?” Tony shrugged again, and Laura rolled her eyes, slightly giggling. “No wonder he doesn’t really come home!”
“I’m trying now!” Tony attested, lifting up his glass of wine for another sip.
“He’s redeeming himself,” you joked. “Speaking of redemption, you know my good friend Brynn, she’s coming tonight. And I think we should give her a chance again, okay?”
Both Tony and Jacob groaned again.
“I’m already at max capacity tonight, Y/N! She broke my bed!” Tony protested.
Laura giggled from the kitchen and you rolled your eyes. “Guys, c’mon. She’s so much fun. Might be a little bit judgey from time to time but like a good friend.”
Jacob shrugged. “Listen, I’m usually just joking about all of this. I don’t actually have a problem with her. If you say she’s good, I believe you.”
Tony was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m locking my bedroom door.”
You stuck out your tongue at him, before turning to Jacob and asking, “And what about your friend?”
Jacob frowned. “She’s not coming tonight. She couldn’t make it.”
Tony sat up straight. “What?!”
Jacob shrugged again. “She said she was busy! She seemed disappointed, so maybe some other night.”
Tony let out a long sigh. “I hope she comes eventually. We need more friends around here,” he said.
Laura then started pouring herself a glass of sangria from the pitcher. She offered some to you, which you naturally accepted.
It was good, but not even close to the quality of sangria Tom made you at Dommo’s. But even so, you were content with it.
“Damn, she’s missing out on some great sangria,” you complimented, taking another sip.
Slowly, more of your friends started piling into the apartment. Abraham, Sally, and some people you didn’t know well started walking in right around 7:30 p.m., exactly when you expected more of the crowd to show up. You nudged Tony over and sat on the edge of the couch. Laura sat on the other side of Tony, while Jacob primarily played host by greeting everyone who came in.
Brynn came next, after the large wave of people. She plopped on the ground in front of you, and you could see Tony eyeing her. You knew he was genuinely wary around her, and you couldn’t help giggling slightly at their dynamic.
Brynn started making conversation with Tony, and surprisingly, he was receptive to it. You were only half-tuned into their discussion, as you sipped more of your sangria and enjoyed being slightly antisocial for a long moment.
“So when are we going to start complaining or start group games?” one of Jacob and Tony’s friend that you hadn’t met yet asked.
That was another tradition of whine and wine — when you weren’t crying over your week, you were usually sitting together in a circle playing Cards Against Humanity or more likely, King’s Cup.
“Soon as my roommate gets here,” Jacob said. “We’re waiting on him and a friend to officially get started.”
You all gathered around in different sections across the room to begin catching up. You mostly pursued conversation with Laura, talking about her classes and what life had been like as an accounting major.
Every now and then, you glanced over at Tony and Brynn, who were still having somewhat of a decent conversation. Tony seemed less uneasy about opening up to Brynn now, as his animosity from Brynn breaking his bed was now gone. Laura nudged you about it, placing bets that by the end of the night they would hook-up.
You wandered over to Jacob, who was pouring some more wine for himself over by the kitchen.
“They’re getting along well now, huh?” you whispered, gesturing over to Brynn and Tony.
Jacob snickered. “You know how Tony is. You think the two of them will be good for each other?”
You cocked your head. “I think they have the potential to be. Either they’re going to mortal enemies or soulmates.” Jacob laughed.
But then, the door swung open. You knew who it was going to be even before Jacob leaned over to say it. It was the mysterious third roommate — the one that you’d heard so much information about, but had never met. You felt your heart pick up its pace, ready to make your judgements as soon as the door came to a close.
Two heads poked their way in the apartment. The first was a tall, blond man, with broad shoulders and a serious expression. As you weaved your way through your own memory, you realized you didn’t recognize the face. And it didn’t seem to fit the descriptor Jacob and Tony t0ld you about since they’d moved into this apartment. They told you their third roommate was on the shorter side, and this guy seemed to be fairly average in height, if not higher than average, all together.
But, even more surprising was when you were able to see the second head that stuck its head through the crack of the door. You knew the face; it’d been a face you’d been looking for almost extensively over the course of the past few days. And now, there he was — Tom himself. He was standing right in front of you, with an inquisitive and apprehensive expression across his face as his eyes surveyed over the room. With the ways his eyes moved with ease, like he knew the apartment itself, you knew at once he was the mysterious third roommate Jacob and Tony had been talking about so much.
You laughed to yourself about the irony of it all. You’d been looking for him for so long it felt like, and now, he was right under your nose after all this time.
His eyes brightened once they connected with yours.
“Oh, Y/N, my roommate is here,” Jacob said, nudging you. “Tom! There’s someone I want you to meet!”
He weaved his way over to you and Jacob in the kitchen, his blond friend following closely behind.
“Tom, this is Y/N,” Jacob said, gesturing toward you. “She’s a friend of mine and Tony.”
Tom shoved his hands in his pockets. “Oh, Y/N and I actually know each other. We met Dommo’s this weekend.” He gave you a quick head nod, and you smiled.
Jacob raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” He shot a look over at you. You could tell by his reaction that it was all clicking in his head — the way you were eying Tom, the conversation you’d had at Over & Easy, the fact that Tom said you’d already met, and more.
“Yeah, Tom was really helpful to me when I was complaining over that paper I had to write for pols. He even proofread it for me,” you replied.
Jacob nodded his head, a small smirk tugging on his lips. It was all the confirmation he needed. You tried not to blush.
“This is my mate, Harrison by the way,” Tom said, gesturing over to the tall blond boy standing next to him. He stayed relatively quiet throughout the introduction, but now he gave you and Jacob a quick greeting. He was a fellow Brit, you learned quickly. “Harrison, this is Y/N and then Jacob, who is my flatmate. The other one is somewhere around here.”
Jacob and you both gave a quick wave.
“Welcome to your first whine and wine,” Jacob said. “There’s sangria over in the corner, and all the wine is communal usually, so feel free to drink whatever. No one really gives a shit here, we all just try to get drunk and complain.”
Harrison and Tom both grinned.
“Now that’s what I’m down for, mate,” Harrison said, and all of you laughed.
Tom and Harrison excused themselves from the conversation to get a drink. Jacob shot you a look again.
“So that bartender you’ve been obsessed with is my roommate?” he asks.
“It appears so,” you replied, cocking your head. “And I’m not obsessed with him. Just… curious.”
Jacob chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, whatever. I know you.”
You gave a pout. “I’ve only met him once.”
Jacob shrugged. “Just saying, for meeting only once, he obviously left an impression on you.”
And in truth, Jacob was absolutely right. You were enamoured by Tom in a way you couldn’t quite explain. There was just something about him that you were still trying to decipher.
You weren’t sure if you’d met anyone like him before.
Tom wandered back over to you and Jacob, Harrison closely in tow. He lifted up his glass of sangria, in somewhat of a cheering motion.
“Sangria isn’t so bad, huh?” you asked him, as he took a sip out of the glass.
Tom shook his head, a small smile curling up on his lips. “Do you like it better than mine?”
You pursed your lips. “Yours is definitely the best I’ve had.”
You could tell Jacob and Harrison were surprised by how easily the two of you got into conversation, but they weren’t quite fully sure on the context behind the topic at hand.
“At the bar I work at, I make sangria a lot of the time,” Tom explained. “I’m always trying out new recipes. Y/N was one of the few to try a new one I made the other day.”
“It was really good,” you replied, nodding your head.
“Well, you’ll have to bring it over to Whine and Wine sometime. I think we need more of that around here, if anything. The more alcohol, the better,” Jacob said. He was met by the chuckles of both Tom and Harrison. “But, we’re going to start a game soon if you guys want to jump in. We usually play Cards Against Humanity, or like King’s Cup which is a fun drinking game.”
Tom shook his head. “I think I’ll hold off for now.”
“I’ll jump in,” Harrison offered.
Jacob shot you a meaningful look.
“I’ll hang back,” you said swiftly. “I’ll kick in though after a few rounds, okay?”
Jacob seemed a bit disappointed by your answer, and you knew it had a partial role in the fact that earlier in the week, you’d turned down hanging out with Jacob and Tony at all of those parties. But he could handle himself. This was the first time you were seeing Tom in a while, and you wanted to get to know him better.
Jacob and Harrison both headed over to the living room, where the whole crowd of attendees were hanging out. You tried to stop your hands from fidgeting when you realized you were alone with Tom now.
“I got a job because of your excellent proofreading skills,” you said, a bit abruptly. “Thank you for that.”
Tom’s eyebrows raised at your statement, and a small grin curled up on his lips. “Really? Where?”
You explained how it was a research assistant job, but the professor it was attached to had multiple connections that were bound to help your own prospective career. You mentioned how you got one of the best grades in the class compared to the other students on the paper, and how he’d noticed it.
Tom nodded his head and his eyes stayed fixated on your face as he talked. It was a bit strange, being able to talk to someone with them being so intent in paying attention in what you had to say. It was so typical in college for all the people you were usually around to maybe check their phone every now and then, or at some point, their eyes would slightly glaze over as you spoke. But that wasn’t the case with Tom. Not at all.
He was attentive and engaged. His coffee eyes were soft, but with kindness, rather than with a lack of interest.
“Congratulations,” Tom said finally, when you were done explaining the premise of your new job. “It sounds like you’re a perfect fit for it.”
“Yeah, m’pretty stoked about it,” you replied, shrugging slightly. “I know I gave you all that talk about how it’s not necessarily my passion, but like I actually think this could be good.”
Tom nodded his head. “At least gives you the hope that you’re going somewhere after college. Which means you’re probably doing better than the rest of us.”
You grinned. “Tom, it seems like you have it pretty together.” He snorted, but you continued. “I mean seriously, you host a good radio show, and from the small interaction we’ve had together, you seem pretty emotionally in-tune. Which is more than you could say about most of the men that I’ve met.”
He snickered. “Well, you haven’t gotten to know me super well yet, so maybe hold off on making a lot of judgements yet. I don’t know if emotionally in-tune is necessarily the best way to describe me.”
You bit your lip, and said softly, “I think I’d like to get to know you better though.” Tom raised an eyebrow. “I just think we could be good friends is all. And you live with two of my best friends, as I’ve learned after today. So, might as well, right?”
You’d backed off a little bit, thinking maybe your initial move was a bit too forward. But thankfully, Tom followed along with it.
“Yeah, if anything, you should come by Dommo’s again sometime soon,” he replied. “After all, I still owe you that latté.”
#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x fem!reader#college!tom#tom holland fanfic#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x female!reader#we'RE BACK#my writing#n1pa#next chapter: your best friends learn more about the boy you like#a lot of musing and rambling#and we return to dommo's!!!!!
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HELLO Everyone! Alyssia is finally back! She’s one of my most tragic muses–ever, slightly revamped, with a bit of a new development to her completely – so for the most of you its a hello again with this beautifully tragic muse of mine ehehe. I’m excited to bring back to you Alyssia in her entirety, my inspiration for her came rushing in like raging waves of the sea after my exams, and in the process while she was away she developed a little bit more both backwards and forwards. Compared to before, Alyssia has completely taken two steps back instead of forward and recessed back into the person that she hates to be the most (her real self) due to some external…issues, so if any of you are really interested in her, below the cut is a little more tldr about her! If you’re interested in hitting this hot but tragic mess, please hit the LIKE button and I’ll slide slowly but surely into your dms! I can’t wait to let her develop and explore her further with everyone!
♫ Profile ♫Biography ♫Personality ♫Connections ♫Trivia
COMPLETE TRIGGER WARNING
Alyssia was born Park Da-hee to an alcoholic dad and a mother that died far too soon in her youth. Probably because of her dad’s alcoholism and her mother’s early death that it really led to Da-hee having the most tragic childhood and life ever–though not that she would ever tell that to anyone or blame them for it.
Her mother died when she was 4, so she has no memories of her mother, and her earliest memory is of her dad puking his guts out from an alcoholic night
Its said that she looks exactly like her mother in features, who was a very beautiful woman before her untimely demise
Lived in Jeju, situated in one of the poorest areas – her family is considered to be impoverished
Her childhood memories were never good, the sexual assault that her father did to her lasted for 12 long years, and she came away with more than just a little bruises
Till now she doesn’t understand how people could have seen her and not noticed the signs of someone in desperate need of help and abused
Earliest period that she ran away was when she was 6 years old. A family friend found her and brought her back to her dad – and that night her father abused her for running away.
12 years of abuse took a toll on her, and she learnt slowly to put on a perfect facade for herself in front of others, whether it be in school or not.
She had a lot of suitors throughout her schooling years, even her trainee years, lots of boys would come and give her flowers, because of how pretty she looked.
She really hated being given flowers, because somehow those flowers all seemed to die hours after she holds them, as though telling her that she’s not good enough to keep them as beautiful as they were.
She was scouted whilst singing one day by a scout – singing was always something that connoted pretty bad things and good things for her, partially because her father always demanded to hear her sing so that he could hear the fear in her voice shake, and the good – because she found that it was a good way for her to release all the tension and stress.
Being scouted on her birthday gave her hope, and Da-hee started to plan on running away to Seoul to audition. She had saved some money from working some odd jobs here and there, and a part time job that she forged her father’s signature for permission to.
She researched BC for one entire night, before sneaking away in the dead of night, stealing all of the money that she knew her dad had, and just with her clothes on her back and a simple change of clothes in her bag.
She successfully audition into BC not because of her sweet voice (which would have blossomed if given more attention), but because of her visuals.
BC nearly dropped her amidst her trainee period, because Da-hee had so many psychological problems (ptsd, panic attacks, night terrors etc.) and most of all skinship problems and issues that they thought she wasn’t lucrative to keep.
They gave her one more chance, and determined to prove that she could stay on (so that she wouldn’t be sent home), Da-hee CREATED the stage persona ALYSSIA.
Alyssia is the more confident, sassy, sensual, quirky but enigmatic part of Da-hee that has been amplified and brought to the surface. Compared to Da-hee who shrinks back, Alyssia is the personality and persona that Da-hee has conditioned herself so much to believe that she sometimes can’t tell which she really is.
As Alyssia she can tolerate a lot of skinship with people, is open, laughs loudly (and a lot), has no issues with befriending people, lesser panic attacks etc.
The only people that would have seen Da-hee at her worst would be her BEE members, and even they don’t really know the cause behind why she’s like that (they could speculate, but she never confirmed why she had so many night terrors and panic attacks) [ BEE MEMBERS WE CAN PLOT HER TELLING THEM ABT HER PAST]
Da-hee is the completely opposite to Alyssia. She’s like a wounded animal that can’t stand on her own, like a broken glass haphazardly pieced together to form some semblance of sanity and respite. Baggy clothes, timid voice and flickering eyes, Da-hee usually resurfaces after her panic attacks and after she’s ran away from something that triggered her. She’s usually hiding in nooks and crannies, in the darkest spot and the most hidden spot of the current place that they’re in that she can find, and she hates people seeing her so broken and in pieces.
She’s very affectionate towards girls, and a little jittery towards males, though she seems to make more male friends (the irony)
To a lot of males she seems standoffish, but she really is trusting and gullible, because of the lack of affection (plot!). Alyssia usually finds herself in toxic relationships where she gives everything to the male and receives almost nothing but manipulation in return (connection!)
Her skin crawls everytime she finishes filming a music video, because of the sensual choreography and the looks of people when they film her dancing. When she gets nervous, she’s usually overly affectionate, so bear with her–
She’s an idol actress!! (that’s something new) :D BC decided to play on her visuals and sent her for acting, claiming that it would help her get out of her shell more easily. She’s currently working towards her newest acting project for a lead, and is pretty acclaimed in acting in her supporting roles.
She actually parties. Quite a lot. Aly found that partying helped her sometimes, as did alcohol, because she’d be too inebriated to feel too much. (people who party xD come to Aly)
She hates cigarette smoke, because it practically reminds her of her dad.(pls be careful around her when smoking, it triggers her sometimes, she also has cigarette burns scattered all over her body, so it's definitely triggering for her)
AS OF 2019, she has resigned happily with bc (doubt that happy thing lol) BUT another issue has occurred which made her recess a bit into her frightened self.
Her dad moved from Jeju to Seoul, and is currently blackmailing her with evidence of her past childhood abuse, threatening to reveal that she’s not that quirky, happy go lucky and pure Alyssia that most people know.
She’s been sending money to her dad ever since he got hold of her phone number, but the very fact that he’s here in Seoul completely terrifies her.
Current count for people who know that she’s being blackmailed? 0. She didn’t even tell her members nor her manager about this situation, and simply bore everything on her shoulders. [potential plot of others finding out about her being blackmailed hmu]
Congrats for tolerating the long winded intro! Here’s a happy Aly for you :3
#fmdintro#||OOC**♫ diamonds in the skies#||tw: night terrors#||tw: insomnia#||tw: panic attacks#||tw: csa#||tw: alcoholism#((look at that tw tags dkfkffjk))
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A Very BTS Christmas (pt. 1/7)
Alright folks, this is it! Happy holidays, here is my gift to you.
Pairing: Jungkook + reader (college!au)
Genre: smuuuuuuuut
Rating: 18+ please and thank you!
All I want for Christmas, Is You...
It was the second to last day of classes before Christmas break, and I still had three exams to sit through. Tension was tight in my shoulders as I trudged my way across campus, the snow an inch or two deeper than my snowboots were tall, and I could feel small trickles of it soaking into my woolen socks. I was stressed, cold, and uncomfortable as the wind whipped across the quad. My dorm was only another five minute walk away, I was so close, but my eyes were watering at this point and I just wanted to lay down and sleep for five years. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I checked it as I waited for the signal to cross the street.
Katie B: shy baby was at the desk when I left like fifteen minutes ago ;) (5:36 pm)
Y/N: oh god (5:36 pm)
Katie, my roommate, was of course referring to Jungkook, a junior who sometimes was on duty at the front of our dorm. He and I flirted each time we ran into each other, but I’d yet to gather the courage to ask him out. Katie had been pushing me to booty call him for the last month, especially when he’d given me his number the last time we’d talked.
Katie B: I told him you’d be alone tonight (5:38 pm)
Y/N: you bitch (5:38 pm)
Katie B: nah you love me ❤️(5:39 pm)
Y/N: fuck you (5:40 pm)
Y/N: jk I love you and have a good Christmas. See you next year ❤️❤️❤️ (ps but seriously fuck you) (5:40 pm)
I trudged through the snow, finally making it through the door. The dorm was eerily quiet, as though everyone had up and evaporated. And they might as well had, seeing as most of the other students had gone home. As an RA and a senior, I had to stay until the last of the kids left, making sure everything was unplugged and clean and neat. I saw Jungkook through the door and instantly became flustered. I’d had a dream about him the other night, and my stomach flipped and legs tightened thinking about it. He watched me with a smirk as I dug around for my key card to get the second set of doors to the lobby open, and eventually hit the unlock button for me.
“how’s it going, Y/N?” he asked, pushing a set of glasses up the bridge of his button nose as I stomped out my boots. Good lord, he was handsome.
I blinked the thought away quickly, and nodded. “Cold. Very cold.”
“At least Christmas is in like, two days. I saw Katie leave, when do you go?”
“Mm hopefully tomorrow afternoon. You?”
He shrugged. “I’m an exchange student out from Busan? I couldn’t afford a ticket home for the holiday, so I’m here til my friend Brian’s folks can pick us up.”
“Ah, yeah, I get that.” He made me nervous and jittery, something that I hadn’t felt for a boy since my last long term relationship, which had not ended well. But with Jungkook, I wanted to make him smile, to see what that would look like and see if it was as pretty as I thought it would be. My eyes swept down from his face along his arms and chest to where they disappeared beneath the edge of the desk. Judging by how his shirt clung to his chest and arms, he was quite well built beneath it, and I wondered what his arms and stomach would feel like beneath my fingertips.
I flushed at the thought, remembering my dream, and thanking god it was cold out so that my cheeks were already blushed. I shook my head and smiled at him, deciding to keep everything neat, platonic, and casual. I raised a hand in farewell, and yanked the door to the stairwell open, bounding upwards attempting to shake away the glimpse of Jungkook’s smile that I had caught before I’d turned.
Breathing heavily from the stairs, I unlocked the door to my dorm room and clicked my small and very illegal space heater on. I dropped my wet socks on the windowsill above the heater, hoping they’d dry out quickly so I could wear them again seeing how all of my other socks were stuffed into my duffel, ready to go when my last exam was over and done with the next morning. I hung my jacket up neatly on the metal hook inside of my closet, and stuck my boots on the mat underneath it. I plugged in my Christmas lights that hung around the big window on the far wall, lighting up my bed in multicolored joy. I turned on my iPhone to a Michael Buble Christmas station, and hummed along quietly to it as I tugged my flannel pjs on and powered up my laptop. As I settled onto my bed with my notecards spread around me, my stomach mumbled in frustration, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning in the library.
I shushed my tummy as I slipped my slippers on, grabbed my keys and wallet and wandered down to the front desk vending machines. I hummed jingle bells to myself as I fed a dollar or two into the machine. I glanced at the front desk out of the corner of my eye, wondering if Jungkook was still sitting there with his laptop. My heart sank slightly when I saw his chair empty. His laptop was still there, so I knew he probably would be back, but I didn’t think that I would make another vending machine trip that night. I sighed heavily and bent to scoop my cup-o’-noodles out of the slot once they dropped, cursing myself for being disappointed over a stupid boy.
“Whatchya got there?” a voice said behind me and I yelped. I flung my ramen up into the air and fell back against the machine, clutching my apparently very weak heart, feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment. Jungkook was standing in front of me, his hands held out in front of him as though to catch me if I fell, his eyes wide with shock, his lips slightly parted in surprise at my reaction. He was much taller than I anticipated, towering a good foot and a half above me, and I had to crane my neck to look up at him fully. My heart was racing but I wasn’t so sure it was entirely from the scare that Jungkook had provided me with.
“Jesus Christ, you scared me.”
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to, oh my God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He was blushing, clearly flustered over the interaction. My heart clenched as he looked me up and down searching for any signs of damage that he may have unintentionally inflicted. When he found nothing he shuffled his feet and ran a hand through his hair, still feeling bad about scaring me. There was a reason Katie called him shy baby.
“No, no, it’s fine, I’m just jumpy. Don’t worry about it.” I flapped my hands at him, willing my heart to slow down and for him to stop looking so damn shy. I needed to look away from him, I decided, and began to scan the floor for my noodles. “Shit, did you see where my ramen went?” I asked him, looking around him to see if it had rolled that way.
“Uh, before or after you threw it at me?”
I snorted, still refusing to look at him. “I did not throw it at you.”
“You did, I could have died.”
“I think it was more likely of me to die from a heart attack than for you to die by ramen inflicted wounds.” I looked around the side of the machine, spotting the little round container wedged between it and the wall. “Gotcha you little bugger,” I muttered, tugging it from its hiding spot.
“That’s what you think.” Jungkook said as I looked up at him and smiled, wiggling the container at him in triumph. He blushed again and crossed his arms. “Again, I’m sorry. My brothers are always telling me to stop sneaking up on people.”
I tilted my head, wanting to keep talking to the shy but incredibly attractive boy standing in front of me. A little voice in my head told me to say goodbye and go back upstairs to study, but I was starved of human interaction, especially with someone who seemed to be interested in talking to me too. “You have brothers?” I asked, genuinely interested.
He flushed again. “Yeah, six older ones.”
“Holy moly,”
“Yeah, it gets pretty crazy, like all of the time.” Had I not been looking at him, I would have thought he was complaining about them. But his wide eyes were sad, he was looking at the ground, clearly thinking about the family he wouldn’t be able to see this Christmas. It made my heart ache, thinking of what it would be like to have to spend the holiday, my absolute favorite holiday, away from my family.
“You must miss them,” I said quietly, reaching for him. My fingers hesitated an inch or two away from his arm, before I snatched my hand back away. I couldn’t just go around touching random boys, no matter how sad they were.
He smiled slightly, showing his two bunny-like front teeth and rubbed the back of his neck, still not looking at me. “Like crazy. They’re loud and annoying and really, really controlling but I miss them a lot.” His voice cracked and so did my heart. He shook his head, and met my eyes again, forcing whatever emotion was there just a moment ago away to the back of his mind. “But Brian’s family lives near by, and he’s got like...four brothers so I suppose it won’t be much different.”
“Good lord he should form a band, he’s certainly got enough members.”
Jungkook laughed. “They tried, a while back, but Sungjin and Jae kept fighting over who could be the leader so their mom took away their instruments for a week.”
“That sounds...chaotic.”
“They weren’t that great either, but don’t tell Brian I said that.”
We laughed again, and I promised not to breathe a word. We fell into a silence, not uncomfortable but not quite comfortable either. “Uhm, well,” I said, shuffling my feet. “I’ve got an exam in the morning, but like...It was cool talking to you again.” We moved back to the front desk, Jungkook moving behind it.
“Yeah, it was cool talking to you. Thanks for not killing me with your noodles.”
I smiled, making him blush again. It was weirdly easy to make this boy blush and I was loving it. “Oh, hush, you were perfectly safe.” I waved my hand at him. And then I stopped, feeling a sudden rush of courage that would make Katie proud. “You’re here all night, yeah?”
“Yeah, why?” He asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Goddamn he was hot.
“You should text me if you get lonely.” I smiled at the way his jaw popped open in surprise at the invitation, and then quickly turned around. Better to leave them hanging, as Katie always said.
“Cool, coolcoolcool,” He replied, once again drumming his fingers on the desk. I smiled again, wondering how long it would take for him to text me and went back up the stairs to my room.
I awoke to my phone vibrating loudly and incessantly. I had a flash card stuck to my cheek from where I had laid on it to only rest my eyes. I picked up my phone and looked at the time, and groaned when I realized it was three am. I glanced at the caller ID prepared to ignore them but my blood went cold when I saw it was several new texts from Jungkook.
Jungkook: so...about your offer. I’m lonely (2:45 am)
Jungkook: are you still awake? (2:45 am)
Jungkook: you’re probably asleep...fuck. (2:50 am)
Jungkook: okay but like...wake up? (2:52 am)
Jungkook: I really hope this is still on the table. (2:55 am)
Jungkook: text me back by 3:30, and I’ll be on your doorstep in an instant. Jungkook out (2:57 am)
Jungkook: okay I know I said I’d wait but I can’t wait. Wake up wake up wake up (3:00 am)
I smiled at the texts, the last one coming in right as I opened them up to reply.
Y/N: it would be rude to uninvite you (3:00 am)
Jungkook: omw (3:00 am)
No less than a minute later, there was a knock at my door. “I’m coming! Hang on hang on-” I stopped mid sentence as I yanked the door open to find myself staring blearily at a very solid looking chest wrapped in a white t-shirt. My eyes traveled up the chest to see that it was attached to none other than Jungkook, looking quite exquisite for three in the morning. I blinked a few times, taking him in from feet to head. “Oh goodness,” was all I could come up with as greeting.
“Hi, Y/N. I’d say I’m sorry for waking you up but...” he shrugged and smiled at me, his eyes dark and raking over my body. “...I’m not.”
I wanted to cover my body with my hands, standing in only my ratty flannel pjs and an old sweatshirt from my mom’s alum. Part of me wished I had changed before I’d told him to come over, at least put on some matching pjs, or maybe even a nicer pair of undies. But Jungkook didn’t seem to mind. His eyes burned over my covered skin, and the heat that washed over me pooled in my stomach, slowly settling at my core. I stepped aside and let him in.
“Sorry, I fell asleep studying for my European history final. The exam is tomorrow morning.”
“Mm, probably not.” He said, kicking off his timbs by the door.
“What do you mean?” I asked absently as Jungkook stretched, his t-shirt rising and exposing a sliver of tanned and toned tummy and the waistband of his blue Calvin Klein briefs. My stomach tingled and jittered at the sight.
“Okay yeah, you need to look outside.” Dropping his arms heavily to his sides, he slipped around me. I followed him across the room to my window, where the shade was shut to keep the draft out. He tugged on the cord, lifting them. The street light outside was the only thing providing any kind of color, as fat snow flakes fell from the sky in huge clumps. I wasn’t outside but I could tell that the world was muffled, wrapped in a thick cotton blanket. “They cancelled all exams, there’s no way the plows are getting out in this.”
“Oh, it's so pretty!” I sighed, nearly pressing my nose to the window. The snow was twisting in dazzling swirls and tornados, truly looking like snow fairies slipping through the night air.
“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” Jungkook said beside me, and I flicked my eyes from the snow to him. He, unlike myself, was not watching the snow but rather had his eyes trained on me. He had a half smile on, his eyes wandering slowly over my face. They landed softly on my lips, and I couldn’t help but run my tongue across them self-consciously.
I felt Jungkook’s fingers curl around my own gently, large and warm fingers asking for permission to tug me forward to him. I twisted my fingers around his, part of me terrified he’d notice how soft and rounded they were, but instead he swiped his thumb across my palm, reading my life line slowly.
“Hi,” I sighed, eyes trained on his.
“Hey,” he whispered back. He smiled, laughing lightly. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” I said as he ran the fingers of his other hand gently up my arm.
“Why’d you invite me over?” he asked, leaning in closer to me, his large, dark eyes flickering back and forth between my lips and eyes.
“I don’t know.”
“Liar,” Jungkook replied before brushing his lips against mine. He was hesitant at first, giving me the option to say no, to press my palms to his chest and back away. Jungkook was a shy baby indeed. But I raised myself up onto my toes, pressing my lips against his, still holding his fingers between my own. I could feel his smile spread slowly as I kissed him.
He pulled away after a few moments, and I groaned at the loss of his touch. “God,” he said, brushing his nose along my own. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“Yeah?” I asked, blushing.
“Yeah. Since You and Katie came home late from that party months ago. And you were drunk, all giggly and talkative and glowing. You were complaining about your hands being cold, and then you grabbed mine, and you were talking about how much you loved how warm my hands were...” He trailed off and I blushed harder as I slowly remembered the night he was talking about.
“Oh God, I’m so embarrassing.”
“No, no, it was so cute. You were so adorable and flushed and happy. Then the next time I saw you, you were leaving for the library and you stopped when I asked if your hands were still cold and we talked for a while and you seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say...”
I remembered this time too, and how he had made my heart skip a beat when he’d asked me about my hands, and he didn’t seem to want to jump in my pants like all the other guys I’d spoken to online or in class. Jungkook had blushed when I asked him what he was reading, and that’s how he got his nickname when I told Katie later that night.
Hearing now how much he had wanted me before, how he was only waiting for me to call him, to ask for him, made my limbs turn to jelly and my joints turn to liquid gold. I cut him off, releasing his hands to twist mine in his hair. He kissed me back vigorously, moaning into my lips which parted under the touch of his tongue. I ran my tongue along his teeth, and then the roof of his mouth, dancing with his own. Jungkook’s muscled arms wrapped around my waist, pressing himself closer to me. He kissed the corner of my mouth, quickly trailing along my jaw before ducking to skim my neck. My heart hammered within my chest, and my body arched into his movements, craving more and more of him. I slipped my hands beneath his t- shirt, feeling his warm stomach twitch gently under my touch. I lifted the hem of his shirt, begging for more contact, for more of him, and he obliged.
Jungkook stepped back, taking his glasses off of his face before gently placing them on my desk. He watched me, tugging his shirt over his soft brown hair, his lips swollen from kissing me. I sucked in a breath as I stared at his hardened chest, and then took a step forward pulling my sweatshirt off of my body, standing before him only in my pj pants. He blinked, slowly taking me in before I stepped forward, palming him gently over his jeans and pressing kisses on his shoulders. Jungkook pressed his hips forward, asking wordlessly for more. I sank my teeth gently into the flesh of his shoulder as his hands dipped below the waistband of my pants, tugging them downwards til they puddled on the floor. Jungkook groaned harshly as I kissed and nipped my way down his chest and stomach, until I was on my knees before him. I began to tug at the button and zip to his jeans, my fingers clumsy from the adrenaline running through my veins.
Jungkook placed two fingers beneath my chin, forcing him to look him in the eye. “Y/N, you don’t have to do this, we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” My heart expanded at his words, but I shook my head.
“Who ever said I didn’t want this?” I asked huskily as I finally undid his jeans. I pulled both these and his briefs down, releasing his erection. He wasn’t as hard as I would have liked him to be, but I brushed my fingers along his length, forcing a shudder to quake through Jungkook’s body. I wrapped my fingers around him, feeling his member grow and harden in my grip. I took the head in my mouth, wrapping my lips gently around him, swirling my tongue about, smearing saliva across it. I pulled back to observe my handy work, to see Jungkook tilting his head back, his arm extending to wrap his fingers in my hair. I looked at his cock, which was now fully erect, precum beading at his slit. I smiled as he pushed my head forward, and I kissed him lightly before taking his length in my mouth. I sucked along him, feeling his dick twitch against my tongue. Jungkook moaned as I began to bob my head, hollowing my cheeks as I did so.
I could feel the dampness between my legs growing along with the intense pressure and need to be touched, the need for release. I began to ache and couldn’t help slipping my hand below the band of my panties, spreading my lips with two fingers before dipping my middle finger against my clit. I gasped, which caused him to slip from my mouth with a soft pop. The tip of Jungkook’s cock was red and slick. His eyes snapped down to my face, and then flicked to my hand which was continuing its ministrations against my folds.
He snarled as he gripped my shoulders suddenly, pulling me from my knees and pressing his lips back against mine. His hands roamed across my body, before rolling my underwear off of my hips to expose me in my entirety. Jungkooks fingers replaced mine, spreading me before sliding one finger inside to pump gently. “Damnit,” he sighed into my hair. “You’re so tight, so ready for me.” He slid a second long finger inside, feeling how my walls stretched around him. His teeth slipped against my earlobe, nipping lightly, sending shock waves of pleasure through my body before they crashed within my core. Jungkook pressed his palm against my flesh while his fingers continued to work inside of me.
At this point I was soaked, and Jungkook knew. He smiled and backed me up until the back of my knees hit the bed. “Lay down for me, baby,” he said, and I obeyed without any hesitation. He slipped his fingers out of me, studying them for a moment before slipping them between his lips. He closed his eyes and hummed at the flavor, before returning his hands to me. Jungkook laid me out before him, his eyes roving over my body. Rather than wishing to curl in on myself in embarrassment, I spread my legs for him, forgetting about any of the things that I normally hated about myself. Jungkook’s eyes wandered over my open body, while his hands pressed warm marks where needed them the most.
He leaned in taking one of my nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth. I moaned at the sting of it, my back arching upwards and my hands clawing at his shoulderblades. “Hm, like it a little rough?” He murmured against my breast, his other hand rising to pinch my other nipple harshly. I reached down and took his cock in my palm, running my hand up and down his length. He moaned and bit gently across my skin, along my collar bone, up my neck and back along my jaw. He let me work him for a few more strokes, before taking my hand away and pinning it above me. “Stay here for a moment, Sweets,” he breathed, before sitting up and moving away across the room. He picked up a soft scarf that I had draped over my desk chair when I had come home that afternoon. Jungkook returned to the bed, wrapping the soft wool around my wrists gently, kissing each before tying it off loosely to the headboard. He kissed my lips again with an sloppy open mouth kiss. Pulling back, he looked at me with smoldering hooded eyes. “Is this alright?”
I nodded vigorously, chewing on my lips and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him close. “Jungkook, this is more than okay. This is perfection.” He flashed a smile at me and asked where my condoms were. I nodded at the bedside table, where he found them tucked away in a drawer. After rolling a rubber onto his length, he pumped himself a few more times, he eyes never leaving my own.
He leaned forward, capturing my lips with his own, lining himself up against my folds. He smoothed his tip along my slit, coating me over himself and teasing gently, until I groaned out in frustration. He laughed, and pushed roughly inside, not waiting for my vagina to stretch to his girth before pumping himself in and out roughly. His hands gripped my hips tightly as they arched up against him, my arms straining against my ties. Jungkook continued to kiss, bite, nip, and suck at the soft flesh of my body, bringing me to the brink and back again several times, causing my muscles to tighten and release until a film of sweat mingled on our bodies. Finally, I found the torture to be enough, and decided to show Jungkook what I was made of, even restrained.
I locked my ankles together on his lower back, caging him between my legs. Arching my hips upwards, I pressed his body closer to mine, craving the feeling of his cock filling me to the hilt. He moaned as I held him in place, grinding my hips against him searching for the friction that I had been craving since I had dreamed of him the night before. He was thick, and the pressure of his member filling me was enough to take my breath away. I pressed my face into his neck as I did so, sucking a purple bruise into his caramel skin. I pulled harshly on the scarf, relishing in the feeling of the wool rubbing against my skin. He slipped his hand between us, two fingers circling my clit once, twice, and then three times before pressing against the over sensitive bundle, but it wasn’t enough. My head was swimming in within the fog of all of the different sensations I was feeling, overwhelming and leaving me lightheaded. I loosened my thighs, allowing for him to shallowly pull out only to slam back into me, knocking the air from my lungs with a cry of intense pleasure and pain. He hesitated for a moment, afraid that he’d hurt me, but swore as I sank my teeth into his shoulder for encouragement. He pulled back again, to smash back into my body, my cries echoing through the room.
“Fuck, Jungkook, fuck, fuck, fuck me!” I cried as my abs, ass, and legs clenched suddenly. There was no slow build up towards my climax, it crashed into me like a tidal wave, knocking my head backwards and sucking air through my teeth. Jungkook clung to me, holding me up as he continued his movements.
“Shit, baby, yes, oh god,” he hissed in my ear, feeling my walls grip harshly against his cock. I cried out again as another orgasm worked its way through my body, this time a slow burn in the middle of my stomach morphing into a tingle that ran from my limbs back to my core. A low moan dragged itself from my throat, mingling with the sounds of flesh moving against one and other. Jungkook barreled into his orgasm, coming with me this time, his warmth spreading inside of me, causing me to shudder in glorious pleasure. He was sweaty and out of breath as he collapsed on top of me, refusing to remove himself just yet. As our bodies intertwined, the draft from my window cooled the sweat on his skin, causing him to shudder.
I kissed his brow lightly, and he rolled over and out of me. He sat up to lean above me and undo the scarf, blood running back through my wrists and allowing my exhausted body to slump back into my mattress. After kissing the red rings on my wrists that I had pulled into them, Jungkook walked to the bathroom and returned with a warm damp cloth. He sat beside me and cleaned the mess between my legs gently, and then kissed each hickey and bite mark that he left behind, as though apologizing for any pain he may have unintentionally caused me. After he dropped the cloth in the hamper, he moved to put his clothes on, but I shook my head as I watched him.
“Nope,” I murmured to him sleepily, watching through heavy lidded eyes. “I’m cold and you are a space heater. Remember how much I love your hands?” He smiled as I flipped the blanket open, inviting him to lay beside my nude figure. He dropped his jeans back to the floor, and climbed naked back into my bed. Jungkook pulled me close into his solid chest, tucking my head beneath his chin and brushing his fingers up and down my spine.
“You know something?” He whispered as I pressed my cold nose against his collarbone, absorbing as much warmth as I could.
“Hmm?” I sighed into the darkness.
“This is all I wanted for Christmas.”
“Really good sex?” I teased, and he squeezed me tighter in response.
“No. All I wanted for Christmas was you.” I could hear the grin in his voice, and the chuckle that rumbled in his chest.
I laughed at his cheesy line but sat up to plant an open mouthed kiss on him, and he smiled his stupid, goofy, bunny smile at me. “You know, all I wanted for Christmas was you too, Jeon Jungkook. Wholly and entirely you.” I lay back down and that was how we fell asleep; legs tangled, buried beneath my quilts, Christmas lights blinking around us and the muffled sound of the plow finally rolling past.
#bts series#BTS Christmas#bts dna#BTS jungkook#bts jungshook#bts smut#bts senarios#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts reactions#BTS love#bts#bangtang boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bangtan jungkook#smut
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hello maria! i wonder if you have tips on how to study anatomy and physiology? i’m going to have my very first pre-med exam soon that might determine my future as the result of this exam will tell me if i get accepted or not so i’m really all jittery right now ;; thank you! i hope you have a great day💕
helloo!!!!
I answered how I recommend studying anatomy here and physiology here.
In those two asks, I give the best advice I believe I can give you for both subjects. So give them a read! It has been working really well for me in physiology. For anatomy, I really wish someone had told me those tips, but you know.. could’ve been worse!
I want to add:
(1) start studying early (I aim to study one week ahead so I study one week before classes start - print your syllabi beforehand!)
(2) divide work, do your notes, store them as the semester goes and review them as many times as possible before tests.
These two things will help you with anything and everything to be able to enjoy your university experience! :)
I really do believe though, that everyone is different and that once you’re in medical school yourself, you’ll figure things out, learn the best ways to study from experience, because a lot of things are just like that, no one can tell you because you have to know what works for you.
No pressure though :) Something I wish someone would’ve told me is it’s definitely nothing impossible. A lot of people, even people who never went to university scared the hell out of me and it was completely unnecessary! With good study habits, self-discipline and persistence, you will be able to get amazing results! ❤️
Ok. now pep talk for the exam/s!
Being pre-med is really hard because it’s a competitive course and you need to get high scores, which is stressful especially if it’s something you want to do badly.
There’s nothing you can do about the stress. It’s going to be there no matter what. Those nerves will never really go away until you get that letter and you know. Until then, everything sounds uncertain and there’s always a little voice in the back of your head telling you “what if.. i fail, what if.. it doesn’t work out?”
So because it’s always there, you gotta learn (by practicing and practicing) to keep studying, give your best and do exams over and over again, even with that feeling in the back of your head.
That’s what everyone, not only you or me, have to do. It’s what us, students are asked to do, that is the goal.
I remember in the exam room seeing my teacher’s faces and friends helped. I remember I went several times to the toilet, even if it was just to stand and stare at the wall alone. Then when the exam starts, you enter this zone. And you’re completely focused. You want to do your absolute best. And then before you know it, it’s done. And after it’s done, your feelings don’t matter.
So, what is important is to control your feelings now, before the exam. Because here is when you can still improve your knowledge and review whatever you need to improve on and practice again and again.
So focus on daily tasks. And go day by day and breathe.
This is obviously something very dear to me (cuz I won’t shut up about it lol) because it was my life for 3 years and I was scared all the time and I just… had to get over it, try again many times and keep studying no matter what. It was a process of growth, and I believe it will be for you too.
not only to you, because you might be super confident and ready to tackle your exams! /way to go!!/
but in case you’re not, or to anyone who might be reading that is in a similar situation and maybe feeling less positive - I want you to know there is absolutely hope and it’s possible for you to get your shot, live the life you want to live and become a very good professional in the future. No matter what your feelings might be, show up every day at your desk. And at the end of the day, you’ll be satisfied because you know you did your best. That is what matters.
Everyone else is also nervous and jitterish! I remember talking to my classmates really helped, laughing at our situation, not taking it way too serious (even though it is serious) and just rooting for each other.
So personally I feel like the best way to fight stress is: (1) keep showing up at the desk and maintaining your study habits, (2) talk with people who are going through the same or have been through it (3) keep your head high and heart light because it’s possible and you can do it.
Ask for support from your loved ones. For me, it was always my parents. They were my rocks through this process and still are.
And finally, don’t forget about your health. I always do yoga in the morning and try to eat healthy because feeling good physically really helps.
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
I want you to succeed and I hope with all my heart you do. i hope you have a very best day too ⭐ keep working hard, be healthy!
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A Different Kind of Prank War
Pairings: Snape x Platonic!Reader
Warnings: Slight mention of dark themes
A/N: Gif not mine. This was requested by a lovely anon. Prompt: Severus and the reader have a student/teacher friendship sort of relationship and they sort of have a little prank war going on that only they know about. Shoutout: to my twin who helped me write this! (Newton-Scamandr)
It was a little-known fact that you and a certain black-clad Professor had a platonic type of relationship, wherein you had the privilege to be taken under his tutelage.
However, one thing the man was slow to realise, was that you strived to do the same for him; how was this possible? Through "pranks" and puns.
Why was this important to do? Well, as humans we all go through things in our lives, sometimes we just need a little help from another person. Sometimes in life you just needed a pick me up - everyone does at some stage.
A smile or small gesture can go a long way.
Groaning you got out of the seat to stretch your aching back. You had a headache that was sure to eventually go away. It was from the strain you had put yourself under from a vigorous study session.
Sighing you collected your disarrayed textbooks, extra quills, the pot of ink and your used and unused pieces of parchment.
Dinner in the Great Hall, it was such an amazing experience; great food, atmosphere and being with your friends at your House table.
You strolled into the hall and straight over to your friends who were already sitting down. Being in your 7th year it was no surprise that you had the routine of school down pact.
The stress seemed to be getting to all of you, although happily talking with one another, the physical consequences of stress was evident. It took a toll on your entire friend group in the form of but not restricted to; bags under the eyes, pimple breakouts, mouth ulcers, weight gain, fatigue and general jitteriness, to name more than a few.
Sitting down you said hello to your friends, they replied as you reached for a clean glass. Noticing all of your friends had variants of drinks; pumpkin juice, soft drink, etcetera but no one was drinking water at this current moment.
Being quite parched yourself you grabbed the jug of water before you, pouring yourself a tall glass of the cold liquid. Taking an eager sip you had just about drained half of the glass, sitting it back down on the table.
Something unexpected and uncontrollable happened; you laughed.
Your friends gave you a strange look at you abrupt behaviour. "Are you alright, (y/n)?" one of them asked.
You kept laughing, unable to answer. This was definitely Giggle Water. Your friends exchanged looks with each other and they had small grins that grew into a huge presentation of their white teeth.
It was contagious, your friends started laughing as well, you finally regained control over the behaviour, not that anyone noticed because the giggle-water-induced laughing turned into real laughter.
With a stupid smile on your face you laughed again at the past events of dinner while laying on your bed, looking up at your ceiling of your sleeping quarters.
You sighed, getting ready to settle down into a good night's sleep when you heard a tapping at your window.
Looking over you saw the familiar black owl that was instantly recognisable to you from anywhere.
Opening the window, the feathered creature perched on the windowsill, a small note clenched in its beak.
Thanking the bird, you took the note he was holding and proceeded to read its contents;
Laughter is the best medicine.
- SS
A smile graced your lips, you knew exactly who the culprit was that replaced your table’s jug with Giggle Water.
You drifted off to sleep with the contemplation of how you were going to respond.
It was early in the morning, the experienced professor stalked the halls of the dungeon, once again going without breakfast; it was, after all, a complete waste of valuable time and a pathetic excuse to be forced into a meaningless dribble of formalities in the name of socialising.
Completely aware of this matter, an eager student snuck into the Potions Classroom and left a small surprise on his desk.
Undetected (y/n) slipped out of the room and went unnoticed down the halls and into the Great Hall.
A great grumbling came from the reclusive man as he headed for his scheduled Fourth Year Potions class.
He pushed the thought far from his mind of who would explode the cauldron's contents from incompetence this time.
Quickly making his way to the front of the classroom he instructed sternly, "Now, I expect you all to complete the readings on page 217, in silence. Do I make myself clear?" The rhetoric question was met with obedience by the unamused and bored-ridden students.
Something peculiar caught the man's notice, sitting on his desk was what seemed to be a book and some sort of bag of sweets.
It was, in fact, a small bag of lollies with a note attached.
With furrowed brows Snape picked it up and investigated it, it read;
When life gives you sherbet lemons.
- (Y/initials)
Not visibly, but amused nonetheless, he inspected the book that was left there as well. A newly published Potions book. He had eyed this book a few times but had not been able to purchase it yet himself.
Happily, he ate one of the sweets. Skipping breakfast was the norm for him but his body would always protest, particularly following low blood sugar.
All that remained on his facial features was a microscopic smile before his voice rang throughout the quiet classroom, "Mister Adams, stop whispering to Miss Jane and get back your studies. You and I are both very much aware of your dire grade."
Over three months had passed since you gave him a copy of the newly published book on Potions, and your exchange of well-natured gestures in forms of pranks and puns.
You did, however, get one response, a note and a chocolate frog with the words;
Read it.
- SS
It took you a while to realise it's double meaning. At first, you simply smiled at the answer, but while chewing on the delicious chocolate frog you realised that it was a play on word. When said quickly, the deriving word being the sound a frog makes; ribbit. Ribbit having not much variation in sound as 'read it' if it were said as if it were one word.
Half yearly exams were underway, your attention being fully directed at the gruelling task. It wasn't until you had gone for a walk in the halls before you headed back to your common room that you remembered the outside world.
In Potions class Snape droned on and on about a particular potion, it was quite hard to fight sleep seeming you were deprived of it as of late.
Class was dismissed and now being slightly more alert due to the clattering and commotion of eager students in their exit, you noticed his slip in hygiene and care.
Your concern grew; this was not a good sign.
You thought up a plan, you hoped wouldn't be crossing a line, but you felt you needed to do something.
In these particular matters, following your out of depth knowledge and personal relations with the man who mirrored disconsolation, you would need to do something quickly. You would have to rally up confidence and hope that your gesture wouldn't be accepted as ill-mannered, but rather good intent.
The day droned on, it was now 10:40 pm, and there was nothing Severus wanted more than to reside in his personal quarters and be done with the day's events.
But alas, sleep was out of reach as there was grading to attend to. With an unamused scowl, the man set to work on the tedious task that was sure to make him lose hope that his teachings were all for naught.
With a groggy head, the man sighed. Again, it seemed that he did not get enough sleep, he couldn't remember the last time he had.
Lack of sleep, lack of motivation; it was an endless repetition, an inescapable cycle. His days’ tasks seemed dull, so did his life. He couldn't separate the two anymore; his obligations and free will.
Nonetheless, he trudged on. It was the only thing he could do.
At least Potion brewing gave him a minimal escape. It was something in which he could entice his mind, allowing himself to be challenged by the complexities and preciseness Potion making required.
Snape glided through the halls, his cape billowing behind him, leaving in his wake First Years who came across his path shrinking themselves and walking faster towards their morning class. Reminding Severus that he had a First Years Potions to teach this morning.
Right on time the man stormed through the door, the students sat rigid in their seats, they had learnt straight away to be more than punctual when it came to their cruel professor.
Something was amiss, however, the students were well-behaved. Working studiously; very odd for a bunch of children who hadn't been under the gaze of their professor, even if they were completely aware of the fact that he was on his way.
The stoic man made his way towards the front of the Potions classroom to his desk. He tried to decipher as to why his students were giving him confused looks, he wasn't accustomed to this expression until he started speaking.
Severus Snape froze in his tracks. Sitting up on his desk was a cat, looking rather serious. Not just any cat, this one had precise markings around its eyes, if one knew what they were looking for they would know perfectly well what this meant. Although, the students thus far had gathered the latter information they missed one vital piece of information. The cat was not whom they thought, it was a stand in, but convincingly similar to an untrained eye.
Nonethewiser the attentive students dared not cross who they thought was a particular Transfiguration Professor.
It took sheer willpower to not laugh at the scene before him. A smile rested shortly on his lips before his unnerving stature took hold as he began the process of regaining control of his class.
Retiring to his quarters before the continuation of the day's schedule, the black-clad professor noticed a sort of gift waiting by his door.
Questioningly he picked it up and read on the gift tag that it was, indeed meant for him;
To S. Snape, I hope you enjoyed my "prank", and that you accept this gesture as a token of gratitude.
There were no initials to follow this message but he knew exactly who it was from; (y/n).
He didn't dare open the gift in the halls, he would never allow his personal life to mix amongst the societal hierarchy and gossiping of the pupils that dwelled in the depths of these halls.
Once inside he investigated the gift basket's contents to which he found; An array of expensive chocolate, shampoo, conditioner and another Potions book. It was an all-encompassing gift to encourage him during the lack of motivation and an ingrained disinclination to maintain cultural hygienic standards.
He was confused when he saw yet another note;
and know that I care
- (Y/initials)
Walking to your next class you were petrified when a dark cloaked figure cut off your path. Looking up you realised it was your Professor.
You eased slightly but quickly became unsettled when you figured out as to why he would be here standing before you.
How would he react?
You swallowed the lump growing in your throat, your mouth becoming dry. Hoping you wouldn't have to speak as you were fairly certain you couldn't at this very moment.
A smile graced his lips, then it was gone and became nothing but a memory. "Thank you." Was all the Potions Master spoke before departing, leaving you to smile bashfully to yourself. After all, as he parted ways you smelt a hint of the unmistakable scent of a certain hair washing substance you had purposefully gifted.
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Brain: Lost and then Found
59 D. The transcript said, and I shrugged it saying university is always difficult, the same person who would be upset over 89 in high school. A lot of things had changed over the period of 3 months. My friends, lifestyle, attitude, myself. But I felt it was just me growing up. I am still unclear on if it was the claws of a dreadful sickness slowly getting hold of me as I was being oblivious to any change. One night, mid semester of winter 2014, my second year, it was very a cold night I remember because I had two comforters on and I remember thinking “I am an international student what am I going to finish school? Will be able to? What if my Visa expires? What if I fail al the other courses and how do I apply to Ph.D.? how to I register for next years courses” . And I started cursing myself for how I did not think of all this before and by the time I realized how all these thoughts had no premise and had not connection and were easily answerable, it was morning. I had to rush to school. My friend use to pick me on the way I thought of telling him about it but somewhere I still knew I was being irrational, hence decided to figure it out myself. This I believe was the first red flag, keeping quiet, not sharing, not that I am an expert in the field but from personal experience. Once in school walking up the stairs it felt strange. It felt as if the ground was slipping from under my my feet. As if I couldn’t balance myself anymore as if it’s all uneven and not a flat surface anymore. And trying to maneuver the ups and downs I almost tripped 3 times. This felt weird but I though I might be too tired or sleepy as I was up all night. Class was no different hadn’t been for few weeks now. The professors seemed to go faster than usual. I had a hard time recollecting whatever happened in class and the workload just was too much. I would tend to get obsesses so much with one though never got a chance to go to the other. It was the St. Patrick’s day when I first acknowledged I might have a problem. For quite some time the unbalanced feeling was becoming a part of my life however once back from class about to go out with friends for a party I was changing and realized my legs shaking. Uncontrollably. Just shaking involuntarily. I freaked out and for some reason was in denial of this particular event. I disagreed to the fact that this was happening. I convince myself that I am being ridiculous. I went to the party sat there with my group of friends and heard them discuss a lot of things however nothing they said seemed relevant to me or I did not understand why were they talking about what they were talking about. My best friend was discussing about how her boyfriend and her are going through a rough patch (which is very common among girls) and all I could think was “what do I have to do with this? Why is she telling me this? Never mind just keep nodding.” Slowly things started getting worse from professors seeming fast it had now become completely impossible to comprehend anything that the professor was saying and sitting in the class all I could think of was “what have I learned in all these years. I know nothing. My life is useless”, and would get completely obsessed with this idea so much so that I stopped going to school altogether. Once my friends noticed this they wanted to talk to me about it, as they knew it wasn’t like me to miss school and shut off everybody. On more in depth discussion they decided to take me to the hospital and figure out what wrong. I was diagnosed with severe dehydration when I thought “wait, I haven’t been drinking enough water. That must be it.” On coming back home in the car as I was saying rather rambling on stuff that would seem completely illogical to a person I saw my friend tearing up. He started getting emotional and said, “this is not you. I have never seen you like this. It cannot be just dehydration”. He held my hand, “just trust me”. We went to another hospital as we felt like the previous one wasn’t a satisfactory answer where the after 4 vials of blood and 6 blood pressure measurements later I was given a neurologist reference with a presumption that I might be predisposed to having a stroke at 19 years of age. This was based on the idea of me being cognitively troubled and having trouble walking. Again the drive back was painful. Not getting any answers was worse. Being a science student I was desperate for reason for cause for result for a diagnosis. “The doctor is not in today he is on a vacation” the nurse said as my fried clenched his teeth in anger. “why is this happening to her?”. Is it even logical to get a referral for a doctor that isn’t even in town.” All this while I was thinking “Am I going crazy? I am slipping away? I will never be fixed? Is it because I am a bad person?” Maybe if I don’t sit with my legs crossed I won’t be punished?”, and these thoughts seemed completely acceptable to me. I was taken in by the doctors assistant “ push your hand against mine as hard as you can.” She said pressing the hand against mine. She came close to my eye with a device that had a little in it. “look up, right, down, left.”
“I have sleeplessness.” I said my first word that day and felt as if I conquered the world, only to realize how low my confidence was now. The assistant did not bother about that remark and looked at my friend, “”She is stressed maybe has some anxiety”. Then looking at the phone she said let me make some calls, “in a low voice she murmured something. “we have a bed for her and will be scheduling an MRI soon.” Next day I was supposed to sit in an exam I screamed and lost all control and started getting all jittery and was shaking yelling at my friend why? You want me to to fail You are pushing me for an MRI in the same day as my exam. What am I going to do? I am losing everything I had.” I see my friend trying to calm me down, the nurse rushing in and then I went to sleep. That was it, for that day. MRIs happened of brain and spine. More vials of blood, more IV more needles still no results. It was frustrating it was testing my patience or whatever I had left of me. MY friends describe my eyes so blank, lips dried and blood oozing out of the cuts, cheeks sunken in until they looked discolored and a smile that was so scary as it was so empty. I was moved from one facility to the other and in that I lost all hope. I decided it was over. There was no answer to my desperation for a diagnosis but by now it the disease had engulfed me such that that I didn’t even know I wanted a diagnosis. I didn’t know how feeling something was. No pain, physical or mental, no expectations except waiting for the lady who came every morning at 6:30 am (as the clock on the wall was the only think I could see) “Morning, stretch your hand. Have you been to the washroom yet?” . “No” the word struggles to come out of my mouth. My friend wakes up “morning, how did you sleep?”. Sleep. Hmm. Wondering when I actually slept last time. All I remembered was my blood being taken and at night a small cup of water with 5 different pills as I force it down my throat and then lay until the next vial of blood is taken from me. I was kept on a stretcher out in the corridor as there was no bed in his facility. According to my friends there were multiple tests done on me but all I remember I seeing a dark empty room with a small red light and I was trying to hold something. A distant voice yelling “if you don’t sit straight we cannot do the test. Please keep you hand still.” It was very faded I couldn’t really understand why was she yelling. Why was I there where was I what is happening? “you’re going to get better, relax don’t move. Let them help you Anisha”.
They are trying to inject something in me. They are plugging something on my head. Are they shaving my head? They are trying to erase all my memories. I am a lab rat. All my friends are with them. I see that man on the computer he is rewriting my life. He is taking away everything from me. He is feeding someone else’s life in me. They are killing me and I start yelling. Why is my friend dancing in the air? What is that group of people beside the waterfall discussing are they conspiring against me? “Maaaa. Mom! I want her! Please my mother. My voice sounds as if I my lungs will burst out. I couldn’t have screamed louder. I push away my friend who was trying to read some religious verses around me and I pull out the plugs off my hair. Banging the table beside me and kicking my legs in the air I roar “MAAA! Where are you! Save me lease I beg you maaaa! Come to me ! MAA, MAA. I was being pushed on the stretcher back to the corridor. I kept yelling and throwing my hands and legs in the air. I remember them giving me some tablet under my tongue and next thing I know I was in a room. Same friend of mine was flirting with a guy whose brother was in the same room admitted for some mental illness. They were talking as I lay there staring at the lights outside it seemed like it was late night. “why she not sleeping” “Am I sleeping?” Suddenly I see this big white monster with red eyes trying to attack me and my friend assisting it in all possible way she could. I screamed and pulled out my IV and punched my friend and started squirming and had this pain all over my body as if something is torturing last thing I remember of that night is 6 very dark soul like thing grabbing me and holding me down and taking me somewhere I didn’t want to go. I wake up apparently I was sedated for 8 hours and it took 6 nurses to achieve that feat. All this seems irrational but it was real very real and it was happening to me and nobody else. Anybody and everybody after that day could tell I was not me anymore. Nothing in me was the same. I was now completely on IV couldn’t eat or walk. Stopped talking comprehending basic information was a rigorous exercise and finally the last straw was when was in my diapers at loss of all control of my body. I thought to myself “Am I even Alive?’
Luckily the doctors and my friends didn’t think like that. After 2 months of various tests and blood work and spinal tap finally there it was on 30th April my friends came running telling “They have a diagnosis, they have a plan. You’re going to be okay. It is called Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis”. All I had to say was “hmm”. That’s how it worked because I couldn’t even remember 4 words for 20 seconds anymore. I wasn’t there coherently so I couldn’t understand. To me I was done forever. But then 2 months of psychosis, paranoia, hallucinations cognitive problems and 7 months of IVIG and Methyl prednisone plus another relapse next year with 5 cycles of plasmapheresis, lots of love and support from family and extremely gifted doctors later here I am a B.Sc. graduate in biotechnology with lovely friends to count on. The ghost of NMDA relapse scares me but the possibilities of future keep me going on.
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Today has had a funky vibe
Today has been super weird. Wednesdays are my long days. I start work at 6:30, so I have to wake up super early so that I can get ready. My morning shift was cut short so I got to go back home for an hour before I had to leave for school. It was really nice, but very different from what I'm used to. I made myself some coffee to bring to school because I had the opportunity so that was really nice. I can't drink fully caffeinated coffee because it makes me too jittery and it freaks me out because I'm not used to caffeine, so I have half caff and decaff coffee grounds. I'll mix the two when I feel like I need a pick me up, but normally I'll just drink the decaff. I'll add in a little of the half caff is just for a little extra push if I need it.
Then I had to leave for school and my drive was fine. I thought that I was going to be late because I left a few minutes later than I planned to but I made it to school right on time. Anyways, I got to my first class and we had an exam and I think that I did fine on it. When I got to class there was some random girl from a different class sitting in my seat and I was not happy about it. I then had to sit in someone else's seat and it threw everybody off. Whatever.
I finished my exam early and I went out to sit in my car and chill which was really nice. I never knew how much that I liked sitting in my car, minding my business, and just chilling whenever I get the chance. I was chilling in my car for like 45 minutes and I finished my coffee. I added too much half caff coffee grounds when I made my coffee, so I was feeling very loopy and funky and like a little bit scared.
Then I had to leave go to my next class and it's a much longer class. I could feel the caffeine in my body and it was such an odd feeling. Like I was so aware of everything and I was getting very over whelmed with a of my senses, but I powered through, so that I could learn some concepts in ch. 9 for accounting. I have a friend who usually texts me during this class. I don't know why but he always messages me when I'm in this class, like it's not planned or anything it just keeps happening. Normally we just chat about stupid stuff, but today he asked me to hang out and I was so mad because I had work and I couldn't go. He asked me to go to a fashion show. Like an actual fashion show with a runway and models and cool fashion and designers and everything that I love in this world. I was so bummed because I don't get out of work until 7pm on Wednesdays and we would have had to leave by 6:30 in order to get into the city for the show. At first I wasn't the sure if I wanted to go with him because we've never hung out like that before but he's like a really great friend and it would have just been new. I'm super bummed that I couldn't go though. I was still in class so I had to keep working. I had some practice problems to do and then class was over and I got to leave.
I had one more class to finish out my school day. I went to my car to switch out my books and then get back to class. My last class is super chill so thats super nice. But my caffeine high was wearing off so I started to get a little bit angry and other people in my class being dumb. I could tell why I was getting so frustrated with people in the moment that I was getting angry with them so it was kinda funny. We answered like 4 questions from out textbook and then watched a video about how Denny's was racist in 1998. It was weird but an easy way to finish the day.
After my last class I finally get to go home. My drive home was nothing special. So I get home and get ready for work. I changed into more comfortable clothes and I had a quick snack. I had like 20 minutes before I had to get to work so I did my best to get everything together quickly. I grabbed some dinner to bring to work and I sat down and chilled for a minute and then I left for work.
I got to work and I did my best to do as much homework as I could. I watched some YouTube videos and set up a little work station for myself. I finished some notes for my law class so that was nice because I started them forever ago. I attempted to do some accounting work, but got like .5% done because I had zero clue what to do, so I decided to wait untill I had more time to focus on it. I then decided to work on a case review for my law class I got a majority of it done at work and wrote like two sentences at home and it was done. It's super nice that that's done, so now I don't have to stress over it later.
I got home and told my mom about the fashion show mishap and that I was bummed out over it. It's fine though. I finished my work and then I went to plan my outfit for Thursday. I have a presentation so I want to look nice but not like I'm trying too hard to look nice. I figured it out and I really like it so I'm excited about it. I also spent sometime trying on a bunch of different dresses that I could have worn to the fashion show. So for the record I would have looked FANTASTIC thank you very much.
Today was a day that was very similar to what I'm used to but there was something just slightly off about every part of my day. It's been funky. It's fine. I'm in bed right now and when I finish typing ting post I'm going to fall asleep and everything is going to be better. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully it won't have such a weird vibe around it, but we'll have to see.
#school#funky#weird#class#accounting#law#management#car#chill#studying#studyblr#new#sleep#i need sleep#bed#fashion#fashion show#wednesday#YouTube#exam#practice#notes#chicago#long day#work#homework#study notes#studyspo#study#funny
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Light of the Sun and Stars Chapter 41: Baby
Summary: His whole life Marco Diaz has been raised by monsters, living under the cruel rule of their leader, Toffee. But one day Marco escapes into Mewni where he meets a magical princess and Mewman like himself, who begins teaching him all about her world. Together they will learn about life, love, and the lights within each of them, as they change their world forever.
Chapter Synopsis: The time has come for Star’s magic performance review to test her knowledge and growth as the wielder of the wand. Although Star is nervous her and Marco have done all they can to prepare her for the test and they are confident she will pass. But when Baby arrives things don’t exactly go the way they planned…
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Index
Disclaimer: Star vs and all its characters are owned by Daron Nefcy and Disney. All rights go to them.
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"Okay concentrate, Star. You can do this," Marco said in an encouraging tone, making sure to keep a supportive smile on his face as he watched his girlfriend cross her arm into an 'x' symbol, the wand held tightly in her left palm, pulsing with pink magic just waiting to be set free.
Star closed her eyes, sucking in a deep breath, before muttering softly to herself, "I can do this." The girl then began an intricate series of steps, the wand waving around as her body gracefully danced through each technique with practiced ease, Marco completely awestruck by his girlfriend's movements no matter how many times he had seen it in the last few days. The way Star owned every flick of her wrist or turn of her hip left Marco speechless, her body moving with the grace and poise of a professional ballerina. Her feet were always in the correct position and her arms were always kept at just the right angle, the wand leaving trails of magic sprinkling to the ground with each new gesture.
Finally, Star held the wand aloft, shouting in a clear, calm voice, "Warnicorn Stampede!" There was a burst of pink magic in front of the blond royal, before a single, tiny unicorn appeared in front of them, looking completely harmless and adorable. "Aww," Marco cooed, unable to resist fawning over the cute creature his girlfriend had just created. The little unicorn let out an adorable neigh before trotting forward right into a head-on collision with Star's couch.
Star face-palmed, groaning in annoyance and disappointment, before loudly exclaiming, "Ugh, what am I doing wrong? Why can't I figure out this lousy spell?!"
"Well it is the hardest spell in the book," Marco pointed out, as he flipped through page after page of Star's spellbook, trying not to get lost in the intriguing and dense knowledge this book contained. "Glossaryk said most queens can take years to learn it."
"Yeah well if I don't get this down soon, I'm gonna fail the magic exam for sure," Star retorted, crossing her arms bitterly in front of her chest.
Marco thought over his reply for a moment, trying to come up with the best way to comfort his friend. He knew Star had been stressing ever since the Magic High Commission first announced Star have a magic performance review to see how far her abilities with the wand had come. They had given Star only a week to prepare for the upcoming exam and since then Marco had spent hours upon hours helping to get Star ready for the test. And now, on the day of said exam, he knew she was more than ready for anything her examiner could throw at her. But it was Star who needed the convincing, second-guessing herself as she failed the one spell in the book she had yet to master. Not that he blamed her, the pressure had to be unbearable for her, failing would mean proving to the world that she was unfit to wield the wand and Marco knew how terrified Star was of being seen that way.
Failure was simply not an option. Especially since both Star and Marco suspected the whole exam was just another scheme by the MHC to sabotage their commission. Star seemed to have no doubt that if she didn't pass the MHC would disband their commission so that Star could 'focus on her studies', which only added to the pressure the blond royal was feeling. Finally, the hooded teen spoke in the most reassuring tone he could, "You aren't going to fail, Star. We've been practicing all week, you've read the Book of Spells top to bottom, you know every spell including the ones that were removed from the book, you're more than ready."
"Except for the one spell I can't get right," Star reminded him, gesturing over to the little unicorn who was now chewing on Star's couch cushion. "If Baby asks me to cast Warnicorn Stampede I'm totally dead."
"Well remember what Glossaryk said, your emotions affect your magic, that's probably why you can't cast it," Marco pointed out, still flipping through pages of the spellbook. "I'm sure you'll get it down in time." He cringed as he came across a page covered in chains with a large skull on it, quickly flipping to a different page. When he had first come across that he had asked Star about it and all she had told him was that it was a forbidden chapter and that no one was allowed to look in it. Marco had steered clear of that section of the book ever since. Though he did wonder why Glossaryk hadn't removed it with the rest of the dangerous spells.
"Yeah, you're right," the blond replied, letting out a breath of relief, her hands fiddling with the handle of her wand. "I guess I'm just nervous, is all."
Marco closed the book before going over to his girlfriend and pulling her into a comforting hug. "Hey, I believe in you. I know you're gonna pass this test with flying colors," he whispered into her shoulder. He could feel Star's body relaxing in his grip as she let out a deep sigh, finally untensing for the first time in hours, maybe even days.
"Thanks, Marco," the girl said, before finally pulling out of the hug, a bright grin on her pretty face. "What would I do without you?"
Marco shrugged. "Don't know, though you'd probably get a lot fewer hugs," the boy said playfully.
Star laughed before giving him a friendly shove, chuckling, "I'm serious!" The two shared a laugh before the blond gave him a shy grin, the gentle look in her crystal blue eyes sending goosebumps down Marco's spine. "Thanks though, Marco. Really, I mean it. You have no idea how much you've helped out this week and I don't just mean helping me get ready for the test. If it weren't for you I'd probably be a jittery mess by now."
"Ah, I doubt that," Marco replied, his cheeks flushing some. "You're way braver than I am, Star."
"Hey, don't sell yourself short," Star retorted, cupping his face in her hand while giving her boyfriend a loving smile. "You're just as brave as I am, maybe even more. The only reason I'm so brave is because of you. When I see you facing whatever makes you afraid it makes me want to do the same." The girl then leaned forward giving her boyfriend a tender kiss on the lips. Marco closed his eyes letting the moment wash over him, the two besties sharing a blissful moment as one, their heartbeat once again beating in time together.
Finally, the two parted, giving each other goofy but incredibly happy looks, their cheeks painted pink as Marco finally said, "Well I'm glad I could help." The girl laughed before pressing her forehead to his. "You always are."
"So you think you're ready to try that spell again, Star?" Marco asked, giving her an encouraging smile. He felt Star's body tense up just slightly but the hooded teen could now see the resolve in her eyes as she nodded.
"Yeah, let's do it," the girl said with unwavering determination.
Marco stood back as Star crossed her arms again, taking a few smooth breaths before beginning the Incantation Dance once again. Her body moved as fluidly as before, every step perfect and on point as she went through the motions just like every time beforehand, but to Marco's surprise Star's wand was now glowing white instead of the typical pink and her hearts were glowing brighter than ever. Finally, the girl finished her spin before holding the wand overhead and shouting, "Warnicorn Stampede!"
Marco watched slack-jawed as at least a dozen warnicorns appeared behind her in a puff of smoke, neighing loudly as they galloped through Star's room in a wild herd, knocking over anything they came close to and impaling objects with their sharp horns. Star undid the spell quickly, leaving her room a tattered mess but she didn't seem to care as she began jumping up and down in joy shouting, "I did it! Marco, I did it! I just pulled off my very first Warnicorn Stampede!"
"Oh Star I'm so happy for you!" Marco shouted as Star pulled him into an excited hug. She lifted him off the ground spinning him around in a circle as the two laughed and cheered for the blond's success. Once Marco was on his feet again, the boy declared, "I knew you could do it!"
"Thank, Marco, guess you believing in me was all I needed," Star said, her bright grin incapable of vanishing, her eyes gleaming with self-pride and it made Marco's own heart leap at the sight. He couldn't think of the last time he saw Star this happy with herself and it made him swell with pride knowing he had been partially responsible for his girlfriend's positive change in attitude.
But a ringing from Star's phone drew their attention away from all the celebrating as Star ran over and picked up her mirror, flipping it open to read the new message. Her eyes widened before she turned to Marco and said, "Looks like I figured it out just in time, too. Baby's on her way now. Shawn just gave me the head's up."
"Wait, since when do you and Shawn talk to each other?" Marco asked in confusion.
"Since I bribed him with some of our super awesome nachos, no creature can resist those," Star replied, shooting her boyfriend a wink.
Marco smiled before focusing on the task at hand, asking, "Okay so how long do we have?"
Star shrugged. "Not long, she could be here any minute," the blond replied, biting her lip as her anxiety returned full force.
"Okay well I'll go check on the food, you stay here and... clean up," Marco said. The two cringed at they looked around at Star's destroyed room.
"Good idea," the blond replied, putting her mirror phone away before starting to work repairing her room back to its normal state.
"Back in a few," Marco said as he ran for the door, wanting to hurry and not leave his girlfriend alone for too long. He needed to be there when Baby arrived to help keep Star calm. Besides he was beyond curious who this Baby was after a week-long build-up.
"Okay," Star called after him, pushing out any troubling thoughts as she just focused on her task, thankful for something to do to keep her mind off everything. The last thing she needed now was to psych herself out.
…
A loud distasteful scoff filled the castle kitchen, followed by a very sarcastic voice. "Ugh, seriously you call this a grand kitchen, even their measuring cups are unorganized, talk about amateur hour," Kelly stated with a roll of her eyes, her eyes not even on the pot she was stirring as she just gazed around the fancy kitchen critically. A feast of already finished dishes lay spread out on the countertops around her, everything from cookies to cornbread to even a cooked turkey was present, all of them cooked to perfection and beyond appetizing. So appetizing in fact that Ferguson, Alfonso, and even Glossaryk were all drooling over them, staring at each steaming plate with hungry eyes. "And what's with all the cheap bowls and spoons? My grandmother has better kitchen utensils," Kelly continued in a mocking tone.
"Geez, Kelly. Why don't you tell us something you don't like about the place?" Janna said sarcastically, leaning against the counter with a bored expression.
"Oh, haha, very funny," Kelly said back, shooting the creepy girl a glare. "I'm just saying, it's no wonder Marco asked me to come help cook cause this is just disgraceful." In one fluid motion, the green-haired girl had poured the contents of the bowl into a pan and set that in the oven to bake, slamming it closed with her foot as she set the small timer.
"Well, that and the chefs all conveniently called in sick on the exact day that Baby arrived," Janna added in a knowing tone, rolling her eyes.
"Yes, what are the odds of that?" Kelly agreed sarcastically. "But luckily for you, I was free for the day. Besides this is a great opportunity for me, cooking for a guest of royalty." The girl picked up a spatula and smacked Ferguson's hand as he reached for a nearby cookie.
"Ow!" the chubby king whined as he massaged his sore hand. "That hurt!"
"Hands off the food! I didn't slave over this for six hours so you could snack!" Kelly shouted to the boy, who shrunk some in his seat from the intensity of her glare.
"Well, that's not a problem for me," Glossaryk said, before making a chanting noise, a cookie slowly rising off the plate, suspended by magic. But it dropped back to the plate as Kelly smacked the small blue man on the top of the head, breaking his concentration.
"And that includes with magic," Kelly added, her voice full of fire and brimstone as she cast warning glances to the magical being and then Ferguson and Alfonso, all of whom gave her guilty looks back. "Now anybody else wanna try?"
All three shook their heads.
"Good," Kelly said, a smile instantly appearing on her face as she set down the spatula. She hummed to herself as she went back to preparing the next item on the menu.
"I forgot how terrifying you Wooletts can be," Glossaryk commented, a sad frown on his normally blank face.
"And don't you forget it," Kelly said with a proud grin, giving the three a smug look as she flipped her hair.
On top of said hair, Tad let out an affectionate sigh. "I love it when you're terrifying, babe," he said flirtingly.
"You love it when I do anything, Tad," the girl replied, hiding a smile.
"Yes, but that's because everything you do is amazing!" Tad said and the girl flushed.
"Aw, Tad!" Kelly cooed. She quickly directed her attention back on her work though, as she started to dice vegetable, her hand moving at an almost inhuman speed, somehow managing to avoid her fingers with each rapid swing of the sharp blade. "So who's this Baby anyways?"
"Oh just someone the Magic High Commission decided to send to do Star's magic review," Janna explained.
"Well she must be pretty hungry if she's gonna eat all this," Kelly commented as she continued to chop away, casting a quick glance at their food supply.
"Oh trust me on this, Baby is a bottomless pit when it comes to food," Glossaryk spoke up. "And the more we feed her, the better chances of Star passing are."
"Isn't that bribery?" Kelly asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, we're just making sure our guest is happy," Janna said while casually leaning back and putting her feet on the countertop leaning as far back in the chair as it would allow. "And if it helps us out in the end, what's wrong with that?"
Kelly just rolled her eyes, a small smile on her lips as she pushed Janna's boots off the countertop. "You're impossible," she muttered under her breath.
"You forgot to mention creepy and charming," Janna replied, sitting back up in her chair once again.
Suddenly, the door to the kitchen slammed open, a panting Marco quickly running inside. "Hey guys!" he called loudly, sliding across the smooth tile floor and coming to a stop in front of them. "Oh wow, the food looks great Kelly!"
"Thanks, Marco, you should have more than enough food for your guest," the girl replied, before smacking the grabbing hand of Ferguson. "That is if these three don't end up eating it all."
Marco laughed, before taking a big sniff of the food spread out before him. "Well, it all smells delicious! I'm sure Baby's gonna love it!" the hooded teen exclaimed, a wide smile on his face. "Thanks for coming to help out Kelly, I really appreciate it. I know you've been pretty busy getting ready for that big baking competition coming up."
"Eh, it's not a problem. I'm already more or less ready for that," the girl continued as she started tossing the salad in the bowl before her.
"You must be excited though," Marco continued. "I mean, being asked to represent Fang Tangs this year, that's a huge honor!"
Kelly smiled proudly to herself but kept her voice as humble as possible as she replied, "Yeah it is pretty nice." She paused before adding in a hinting tone, raising her eyebrows knowingly, "Though I am still in need of two other chefs to help me."
Marco nodded. "Me and Star'll be there. No problem, Kelly."
"Good, cause the recipe I have in mind is gonna need some help to pull off."
"Are you planning on using the..." Marco leaned in closer and cupped a hand around his mouth to prevent the others from hearing, before whispering, "... top-secret project."
"Marco, that's still in the testing phase and you know it," the girl hissed back, shooting him a nervous look.
The boy immediately slapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh sorry," the boy replied in a muffled tone.
"Uh, you know we don't care, right?" Janna commented.
The two quickly whipped their heads over to her before sharing another serious look, silently communicating the need to keep that project just between them, while Janna rolled her eyes. Ferguson, seeing Kelly distracted, once again tried to reach for the tray and grab a freshly baked pastry only to receive a smack over the head from Kelly's spatula, the girl not even turning as she knocked him back in one swift motion.
"Ouch!" the boy screamed loudly, before pouting in the Woolett's direction.
"Nice try," Kelly responded. "But I have eyes in the back of my head. Or in this case..." She pointed up to Tad who was facing toward backwards now, watching the three closely. "...on the back of my head."
Marco couldn't help but laugh at the joke, while Ferguson muttered something under his breath, complaining about the terrible treatment he was receiving despite being a king and made a mental note to raise the mirror tax on Kelly's phone when he got back.
"Well, I better get back to Star," Marco said, before racing out of the room as quickly as he had entered. "Just bring up the food whenever it's ready. Star said Baby should be here any minute."
"Okay!" Kelly called after the boy, her focus on the salad as she put the finishing touches on the appetizer grating shredded cheese onto it with all the care and precision of an artist painting a portrait. "There that should do it!" she exclaimed, wiping the sweat from her brow, before turning to the others. "Now who wants to help me bring all this up?"
No one said a word and Kelly just sighed before adding in a slightly annoyed tone, "I'll let you guys have a free meal at Fang Tang's on the house."
The four all jumped to attention quickly rushing around as they grabbed carts and trays to help carry the mountain of food before them, getting right to work and eager to help now that the prospect of free food was on the table. Kelly just watched the four with a deadpanned glare, muttering under her breath, "Figures."
…
Marco was running down the hallway, hoping he wasn't too late. He knew Star needed him to be there for whenever Baby arrived but he had accidentally stayed in the kitchen much longer than he had planned. Which meant he was in way too big a rush, trying to take every shortcut in the massive castle he could think of, barely paying any attention to his surroundings as he focused only on getting back to Star. Which meant he didn't spot the two little girls clearly hiding behind a nearby pillar (their bodies only half-hidden behind it) giggling amongst themselves. But as the boy approached the two suddenly jumped out, shouting as one, "Sneak attack!"
The boy tried to slide to a stop but he was powerless to stop the two girls from latching onto his chest, giggling incessantly the whole time as the boy crashed to the floor with a yelp. The two clung to his middle, still laughing as the boy groaned in surprise and pain from the short fall. "Ugh, girls?" he muttered groggily, his head spinning as he tried to process how and why he was laying on the floor with Daisy and Violet on top of him.
"We got you, Big Brother!" Violet shouted, now sitting on his stomach and grinning ear to ear. "You fell right into our trap!"
"Were you surprised, Big Brother?" Daisy asked with wide, innocent eyes.
Marco couldn't help but chuckle a little himself as he picked each girl up and set them aside so he could stand once again. "Yep, I sure was, you two definitely got me," he said with a bright grin, wiping the dust from his pants.
"Yes!" the two cheered as one before sharing a high-five.
Marco smiled, glad to see the two getting along... for now at least. "Well I'm glad you two are having fun, just please try and be careful, okay. Not everyone is alright with being 'sneak attacked'."
"We will!" the girls promised, hiding their crossed fingers behind their backs.
"Okay then, I better get back to Star," the hooded teen said, about to run off again when Daisy suddenly interrupted him with a panicked shout.
"Wait, Big Brother! We need to ask you something!" the cutesy girl screamed.
The boy paused, turning to her with curiosity. "What is it?"
"Have you seen Edith anywhere?" Daisy asked, worry shining in her bright eyes.
"We've looked everywhere and we can't find her!" Violet added, looking equally as distraught.
Marco stared sadly down at the girls for a second before shaking his head. "Nope, sorry girls, I haven't."
The two's faces fell even more and the boy instantly added, "Uh, but don't worry I'm sure you'll find her. She's probably just hiding somewhere, she'll turn up soon."
Daisy and Violet gave him hopeful looks, their eyes lighting up some in joy. "You really think so?" the creepy child asked.
Marco nodded confidently, shooting them a comforting smile. "I'm positive! And hey it's almost like playing a game of hide and seek, right?"
"Yeah, you're right!" Daisy cheered, back to her vibrant self as she hopped up and down. "In that case, we better get back to looking for her!"
"Yeah, let's do it!" Violet shouted, pumping her fist in the air in excitement. The two ran off down the hall and Marco smiled as he watched them go, calling quickly out to them, "Good luck!"
"Thanks, Big Brother!" the two shouted back, waving to him over their shoulders before disappearing around the corner.
Marco chuckled and shook his head, before suddenly remembering his own task and his eyes widened in panic. "Oh no, Star!" he gasped.
…
Star managed to get her room clean in record time, her wand helping the task along immensely as she summoned an army of cute little cat maids, their furry forms rushing around, fixing and cleaning everything in sight. The blond royal nodded her head in satisfaction as the kittens finished up, her room practically sparkling now. In fact, it probably looked even better than before. "Nice work guys!" she said pleasantly to the cats. She then used her wand to summon them a ball of yarn, saying, "Here. You guys earned it."
The kitten maids all meowed in pleasure as they played amongst themselves, Star walking around her room and double-checking their work just to be sure. But there was not a spot of dust or clutter anywhere and the girl finally let out a deep sigh, wiping her brow in satisfaction with her free hand. "Thank goodness. At least that's one less thing to worry about," she commented to herself, tapping her wand against her open palm, the nervousness starting to resurface some again.
Just then, the window to her room busted open as a harsh breeze blew into the room, catching Star off guard and causing the kittens to all rear back in concern. The girl put up a hand to shield her face from the viscous force of the wind, trying to crack an eye open and see what the source of the draft was, when an ominous cloud of black smoke flew into the room. The cats all yowled in fear as any stray papers or objects were sent flying around the room, the stream of magic smoke circling Star a few times before coming jumping up into the air and landing in front of her. The cloud parted revealing the small form of a cat. The cat had short white fur and translucent wings that fluttered behind her, keeping her always floating in the air. Her tail was at least the length of her full body, maybe even longer, which waved back and forth lazily in mid-air. Her eyes were inhumanely wide, with bright green pupils that seemed to glow with innocence and kindness as she observed the princess up and down. Her tiny paws held a large clipboard and glowing pink pen which almost sparkled with magic.
The wind died instantly the moment Baby appeared, sending the loose objects and papers falling to the ground, Star's room now as trashed as when she started. "Star Butterfly, I presume," Baby said, her voice as cute as her general appearance.
"Uh yes, that's me, Miss Baby," Star said quickly, doing a little curtsey and bowing her head politely. She was glad her voice didn't crack, her nerves still threatening to get the best of her, especially after her initial shock from Baby's entrance.
Baby gave a narrowed gaze around the room before saying in a critical tone, "Hmm, I expected the room to be much neater. Perhaps your busy schedule is taking up too much of your time for such simple things."
Star felt a twinge of anger as she thought bitterly, Only because you messed it up. But she kept the smile plastered on her face. Yep, just as she suspected, this was all a ploy by the MHC, which meant she had to keep her calm and play her part. The future of her Commission and Mewni hung in the balance. Which was why she managed to keep her voice polite and level as she said, "Actually, my maids were just about to get to work cleaning the room, right guys?" She gave them a pleading look and the cat's all reluctantly sighed and dropped the ball of yarn going back to their previous task from before, looking none too happy about it now.
Baby watched the cats silently for a moment, before jotting something down on her clipboard, Star feeling her heart begin to sink. She cleared her throat and said quickly, "Uh sooo, would you like a tour of my room or..."
"Yes that would be acceptable," Baby said, not looking up from her clipboard.
Star tried to keep her calm as she began giving a quick tour of her room, Baby barely paying any attention to anything, only looking up once or twice with a blank expression before going back to scribbling notes down furiously. Star was starting to lose her nerve and wished Marco was here to calm her.
Luckily, just as she finished up the tour, Marco came bursting into the room, panting wildly with sweat dripping down his face as he exclaimed, "Star, I'm back! Sorry, it took me so long I-" But he froze as he spotted the flying cat just over Star's shoulder, fixing him with a critical gaze and he looked over to his girlfriend for help. The blond royal kept her calm as she said in a smooth tone, "Marco, this is Baby." She gestured over to the flying cat who still had yet to blink as her narrowed eyes seemed to be tearing him apart and he continued to stand awkwardly in the doorway. She then gestured over to the hooded teen. "Baby this is my boyfriend and the Monster representative Marco Diaz."
"Uhh, h-hello Miss Baby," Marco said, trying to match his girlfriend's relaxed tone but unable to keep his voice from stuttering some. Star mouthed the word 'bow' to him and he quickly dropped into a late bow, keeping his head submissively down.
"Yes, I've heard a lot about you, Mr. Diaz, was it?" Baby said, her tone unreadable.
Marco stood up at once, nodding as he replied, "Uh yeah. My parents were Rafael and Angela Diaz." He felt a slight boost of pride at that, a bit of his anxiety subsiding.
"Yes, yes the Monster supporters," Baby said, her focus returning to her clipboard, her tiny paw furiously scribbling something down. "I've heard all about them." Something about her tone made Marco feel weary and he cast Star a confused look which she returned but they kept their comments to themselves.
"Now then, if there won't be any other interruptions," Baby continued, her eyes darting up for just a moment to fix the boy with a critical look. "We can officially begin your magic exam, princess."
"Oh, yes, of course," Star said, trying to will down her racing heartbeat. This was it.
"Now then, before we begin, we'll need to clear the room of any distractions," Baby began, looking around at the cat maids pointedly.
"Right," Star said, before unsummoning her spells, making sure to also send the ball of yarn with them for all their hard work and as a little extra thank you for cleaning her room up twice now. Once she was done, she turned to Baby waiting for her next direction.
But Baby's focus switched to Marco, who had finally moved away from the doorway, shutting the door but still standing awkwardly off to the side, looking unsure. "All the distractions," Baby said in a hinting tone and Marco felt his eyes widen. Wait was she asking him to leave? But he was supposed to stay and help Star. She needed him to help keep her calm. What if she failed without him? He couldn't leave but Baby had just given a direct order... well kinda. Baby continued staring at him, waiting for him to go and the boy shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Uh, well I-I-" he stuttered, unsure how to politely word this.
"Actually Baby," Star spoke up on his behalf, seeing her bestie struggling to speak up for himself. "I was hoping Marco could stay. I need him for... moral support." She flashed him a loving smile, which he returned with a grateful one.
Baby sighed before saying, "Very well, but I'm making a note of this." She quickly wrote something down and Star swallowed back the biting comment hovering on the end of her tongue. Having Marco there wasn't a bad thing, how dare this stupid cat even think that.
"Okay then," she said instead, plastering on another false smile. "I'm ready when you are."
Baby nodded before saying, "First things first, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
Star had been expecting this, her mother warning her she might need to refresh her mind on basic Mewman history and she and Marco had taken extra time to get her ready for this portion of the exam. The blond royal nodded, ready to draw upon the knowledge she had kept tucked away in her brain. "Of course, I'm ready."
"Very well, can you tell me who was the first Mewman to ever wield the wand?" Baby asked, looking down at her notes.
Star replied in one steady breath, "Cosmos the Infinite. They say the wand was gifted to her by the beings of the magic realm because of her pure heart."
"Yes, and was she a member of the Butterfly clan?" Baby questioned while writing down Star's answer.
Star nodded. "Yes, she was."
"And how did the Butterfly clan rise to power?"
"Our Trait," Star replied, looking over to Marco to see him giving her an encouraging thumb's up.
"Which is?"
"The ability to wield the magic wand. Only certain members of the Butterfly clan can channel its power," Star said, feeling more and more confident with every answer. "In anyone else's hands, it's completely useless."
The fairy continued to ask question after question, Star answering every single one with zero hesitation, her study session's paying off well.
Marco, meanwhile, felt his heart swelling with pride for his girlfriend, unable to keep the bright smile off his face. That was until a slithering feeling jumped up his spine and he jumped some in surprise, managing to stifle his scream. Star and Baby didn't notice this, too invested in their quiz and the boy tried to calm his now racing heart. What the heck was that? Marco wondered.
Then there was more shifting only this time on his stomach, the movement on his ticklish belly causing him to laugh out loud. Star and Baby immediately whipped their heads over to him and Marco slapped a hand over his mouth to hold back his giggles as the feeling continued. Star looked concerned as her boyfriend burst out laughing over nothing, while Baby just raised an annoyed eyebrow. Finally, the feeling stopped and he was able to get in a breath of air, his lungs sore from the random tickle attack. "Uh, sorry about that," he said sheepishly, feeling Baby's intense stare on his skin. "I, uh, just thought of a funny joke." He smiled, hoping the cat would buy it.
Baby just rolled her eyes before saying, "Well maybe next time you should leave the room, instead of interrupting me in the middle of a sentence." She put her furry paws on her hips as she fixed him with a scolding glare and the boy looked down at his feet.
"Right, sorry, it won't happen again," he said softly.
"Good, see that it doesn't," Baby replied harshly, before going back to her question taking. Star answering each one but kept casting worried looks over to her boyfriend now.
Marco waited until they got back into a steady rhythm before turning around and pulling open his hoodie to see what was moving around in there, only to see a pair of beady eyes and a forked tongue looking up at him innocently. "Edith?!" he said in a loud whisper. "What are you doing in there?" He quickly reached down and pulled her out from his hoodie, holding her long form in both hands. "You need to get out of here," he continued.
"Marco?"
The boy turned on his feet hiding Edith behind his back, plastering on a smile. "Hmm, yes," he responded far-too-quickly, looking between Mewman and fairy.
"Are you okay?" the blond royal asked.
"Who me, oh I'm just fine, nothing to worry about here," the boy said in a very unconvincing tone, doing a quick thumbs up with his free hand.
"Okay then," Star said reluctantly, before returning her focus on the test.
The boy breathed a sigh of relief, before pulling his hands in front of him again, only to find Edith gone and he gasped in surprise. "What? Where did she go?"
A tiny head popped up on his left shoulder and he nearly jumped in surprise. "Edith," he whispered quietly. "You can't be in here, Star needs to focus. I'm taking you back to Daisy and Violet."
But Edith wasn't listening to any of this for she had just spotted something of interest, a small, furry cat... with a delicious, mouth-watering diamond implanted in its forehead. Edith's small mouth dropped open, drool dripping from her stone fangs as she stared mesmerized at the treat in front of her. She had never eaten a diamond before but they were supposed to be the greatest tasting gem of all time and there was one right in front of her!
Edith was about to slither over and grab it when she was snatched up by the one in red, the one with the very noisy yell, blabbering on about something under his breath as he turned and headed for the exit. But Edith wasn't going to miss this chance, no way. So she began squirming in his grip, easily slipping through his fingers before landing hard on the floor. She was dazed for half a second, before shaking her head and slithering over to her meal, hissing happily.
Just as Marco reached for the doorknob he heard a thump and looked down only to see a small, blue form disappear between his legs. He quickly ran over and snatched Edith off the ground, who hissed in protest.
Meanwhile, Star had just finished answering her last question, Baby nodding as she jotted down a few notes before tapping the pen against the clipboard thoughtfully. "Hmm, it would seem you know your history, Princess Star.”
Star smiled and Marco couldn't help but grin as well, despite the urgency of the situation. But he began to quietly tip-toe away, slowly reaching out for the doorknob.
"Marco!" the boy flinched as his name was called and swerved on his feet, tucking Edith into his hoodie pocket and out of sight.
"Yeah, Star?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even despite his slight panic, knowing Edith could ruin the whole test.
"Where are you going?" the blond royal asked, arching an eyebrow while silently asking him what was going on.
"Oh, just to go check on the food," the boy said, keeping his gaze locked with Star, trying to convey to her that something was wrong and that he'd explain later while his hand reached backward for the knob.
Only for the door to slam open, nearly hitting Marco who stumbled forward in surprise as Kelly, Janna, Ferguson, and Alfonso entered into the room, pulling carts filled to the brim with the Woolett's dishes. The green-haired girl smiled brightly at the three in the room, her face and voice polite and professional as she said cheerfully, "Sorry for the intrusion but we figured you could use some sustenance after you're long trip, Miss Baby."
Baby's eyes widened to unbelievable proportions as she hovered slowly closer to the delicious array of food, clearly holding back her urges as she licked her lips hungrily. Kelly seeing this added, "We prepared all this for you, so help yourself." The Woolett then dropped into a bow, the others doing the same behind her.
"Food!" Baby screamed before disappearing into a cloud of smoke again, which flew past the carts at an inhuman speed, leaving behind only empty plates and crumbs as every bit of food was devoured in an instant. The others all watched flabbergasted at the display and Marco, seizing his opportunity at the distraction, lifted the silver lid off a plate and set Edith onto it, before covering the Gem Feeder completely. There, Marco thought to himself. Now they can take her out of here and no one will ever know.
The plume of darkness finished its meal before jumping next to Star again, Baby appearing a second later, licking her paw greedily. "More please," she said simply.
Kelly recovered from her shock as a look of anger flashed across her face, she had just spent the better part of the morning making all that and not only had Baby not had the decency to acknowledge her but she then demanded even more from her! Marco noticed this look and thinking quickly said, "Yes, I'm sure Kelly wouldn't mind making you something else to eat, Miss Baby. Right Kelly?" He turned to the girl with a pleading look, silently begging her to help them out.
Kelly stared at the boy for a moment before sighing and replying with forced cheer, "Of course not, I'll just go do that right now." She plastered on a fake smile which looked more like she was grimacing but Baby didn't seem to notice nor care as she looked through the notes written on her clipboard. The Woolett turned and exited the room, the others pushing the empty carts behind her, but not before shooting the hooded teen a look that said, You owe me for this. Marco smiled and gave her a thumbs-up, letting her know he would indeed pay her back for her help. With that, the door closed leaving the three of them alone once again.
"Well now that that's out of the way," Baby said, gaining the two teens' attention back. "It's time to see just how far you've come in your training, Princess Star." The fairy cat snapped her fingers and a second later a dummy appeared in the center of the room, a crudely drawn face scribbled onto it, its body made of a faded burlap sack which was leaking straw and two sticks jammed into the sides of it to represent arms.
Star nodded, a look of determination on her face, her hand squeezing the wand tightly in anticipation. This was it, she thought, trying to keep her calm.
"Please, show me you're best Narwhal Blast, princess," Baby said, starting off easy but watching the girl closely none the less.
Star smiled at the easy spell. That was one of her specialties. She waved the wand in a circle before holding it straight out shouting, "Mega Narwhal Blast!" The reaction was instant as a series of aquatic mammals were sent flying around her room, hitting the dummy and crushing it instantly.
"Hmm, very good," Baby said with a nod, jotting down a quick note, before looking back up at the royal teen. "Double rainboom."
There was a puff of smoke and the dummy was standing once more, waiting for the next attack. Star did a twirl, sparks of lightning forming around her wand before she held it out, and yelled the appropriate chant, "Double Rainboom Devastation!" Two streaks of rainbows shot out of the wand, twisting around each other before colliding with the dummy, exploding with a massive bang that caused Star's walls to rattle.
Marco covered his ears from the loud sound but quickly started clapping at the amazing display. There was nothing left of the scarecrow this time, only a singed pile of ash and broken tile from the harsh impact. Baby barely acknowledged this one, writing something down, before snapping her fingers and restoring the dummy to its former glory. "Honeybee Tornado Swarm."
That was a bit harder but Star, feeling more confident, nodded, and said, "No problem." She swiped her wand through the air while shouting, "Honeybee Tornado Swarm."
Marco watched mesmerized as Star's spells devastated the target, again and again, Star casting each spell with conviction and power, any sign of anxiety gone from her sweet face. Now that the whole Edith fiasco was over, Marco could just sit back, relax, and watch his girlfriend pass her test with flying colors. He sat down on the floor, a small grin on his face as he watched Star expertly cast each requested spell.
"Cupcake Blast!"
"Winterstorm Hyperblow!"
"Cotten Candy Devastation Blast!"
That was until he spotted a small blue form slithering across the floor slowly making its way over to the two and more importantly, into the line of fire from Star's spells. Marco jumped to his feet, managing to suppress his surprised squeak as he watched Edith getting closer and closer to Star's destruction. How did she even get back in here? Marco wondered to himself, before shaking his head free of the unimportant thought. It doesn't matter right now, I gotta focus on saving Edith.
Just as Edith slithered into the line of fire, Star sucking in a breath as she prepared another spell, Marco jumped in front of her shouting, "Wait!"
Star doubled back in surprise, nearly dropping the wand in her fright, while Baby just glared angrily down at the boy. "Mr. Diaz, what did I tell you before about interrupting us during-"
"Yeah, I know," the boy interrupted, trying to quickly think of an excuse. "I was just thinking, uhhh, that this is too easy. M-Maybe it would be better if Star attacked a... moving target."
Star gave the boy a confused look, while Baby thoughtfully rubbed her furry chin with her paws, thinking over the boy's idea. "What are you doing?" the blond royal whispered, quietly.
"I'll explain later," the boy replied softly. He couldn't risk distracting Star. She needed to focus on the test, he could handle the rest.
"Hmm, you have a point," Baby said thoughtfully, clearly liking the idea. "Would that be alright with you, Princess Star."
Star nodded, before replying, "Sure, I can handle that." Though she cast another quizzical look to her bestie.
"Very well," Baby said, before snapping her fingers, before the dummy came to life, bouncing around the room in a random pattern but moving slowly enough he was easy to aim at. "Please continue the spell as requested."
Star nodded, waiting for Marco to move out of the way before sucking in another breath, making sure to keep steady aim on the target now as it hopped around the room. "Bacon Kitty Hawaiian Nightmare!" she screamed, before destroying the moving scarecrow in an instant with the toughest spell yet.
Marco let out a sigh of relief, before looking quickly around for the slippery snake, wondering where she could have gotten off to now. When he spotted her he nearly screamed, she was slowly making her way up Star's lamp, doing loops around its thin frame, which was right next to Baby. The small cat seemed none the wiser to the snake, positioning itself behind her, even as it leaned over, opening his mouth wide as it got closer and closer to the blue diamond on the fairy's head. Marco rushed over as quietly but quickly as he could, trying to leave a wide berth so he wouldn't be noticed by the other two, before snatching up Edith at the last second, the snake mere seconds away from devouring Baby's crystal.
Baby turned, giving the boy a quizzical look but he just smiled and flicked on the lamp saying nervously, "Thought you could use some light."
"Yes, thank you," Baby muttered but the suspicion in her eyes was clear.
Marco felt panic seize his chest but somehow managed to keep a straight face as he said, "No problem." He then turned around to glare at the naughty snake, whispering harshly, "Edith, what are you doing? Do you want Star to fail her test?!" But Edith just flicked her tongue in response.
Baby looked over to Star who was starting to pant now from exertion, the numerous spells starting to wear on her. She wasn't used to casting this many in a row, even while training she had paced herself and she could feel her magical energy beginning to dwindle. Hopefully, they would be done soon.
"Your boyfriend is very strange," Baby commented.
Star, looked over to her boyfriend, who had his back to them, whispering something under his breath like he was talking to someone and the blond royal felt her worry increase. Something was clearly wrong and whatever it was Marco was keeping it to himself, which made Star even more unnerved. Marco told her everything, no secret ever kept between the two of them but if he was keeping whatever it was to himself on today of all days then it couldn't be good. Still, she would just have to trust her boyfriend to handle whatever it was and focus on her problems. She had a test to pass, after all.
So not knowing what else to say, Star simply shrugged and replied, "Thank you." Baby seemed surprised by the answer but Star just wanted to get this test over with so she could rest, not to mention figure out what was going on with her bestie, so she quickly added, "I'm ready for the next spell."
"Are you sure, princess," Baby said, her keen eyes focusing in on the bags under the blond's eyes and the heaviness to her limbs. "You can rest for a minute, don't want to overdo it."
Star could tell by the fairy's tone this was less about Baby's concern for her well-being and more of an insult. She was clearly testing Star to see how she'd react, see if she was as weak as everyone said she was and Star felt a fire in belly at the thought, wanting nothing more than to prove this stupid cat wrong.
"No, I'm fine, let's keep going," Star said, holding her head up high to show Baby she wasn't backing down.
"Very well," Baby said, her tone suddenly mischievous, the slightest hint of a smirk on her face and Star knew instantly what was coming next, thinking worriedly to herself, Oh no. "If you're so confident why don't we try a harder one, how about..." Baby paused pretending to think it over, before saying, "Warnicorn Stampede?"
Star felt her heart drop and Marco turned around with panic in his eyes, having heard the name of the absolute toughest spell in the spellbook. Edith was forgotten as he watched Star closely, her body tensing up some and her eyes showing the slightest hint of fear in them. Baby seemed to notice this as she added in a superior tone, "You have the learned that spell, correct?"
Star nodded quickly, trying to hide her nervousness behind an iron mask as she replied, "Of course."
"Then you should have no problem casting it for me," Baby said, her sharp gaze suddenly feeling like it was trying to dig into Star's soul and she resisted the urge to glare at the instructor.
"No, none at all, I'm happy to do it," Star said with a forced grin.
"Good, then show me," Baby said, snapping her fingers again as the dummy appeared in the center of the room, still and unmoving this time.
Star looked over to Marco for encouragement and he happily obliged, giving her a small nod and a thumbs up, the brightest, most positive smile he had in his arsenal stretched across his face as he mouthed the words, You got this. This alone seemed to relax Star down, just knowing her Marco was there supporting her giving her the confidence needed to perform the spell. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, pushing out all thoughts except that of Marco, focusing on the image of his smiling face to relax her as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
She then began to perform the Incantation Dance, her movements swift, smooth, and precise as she turned and swayed through each step of the complicated spell. She knew this spell by heart, she had practiced it dozens of times before and had even successfully pulled it off not even an hour ago, Marco was right, she had this completely under control. And as Star continued with her graceful dance, a blissful smile formed on her face as she felt the magic gathering around her, relaxing her aching muscles and giving her much-needed energy.
While this was going on, Marco watched mesmerized for a second before feeling Edith squirming around in his hand and he looked down just in time to see her slide out of his grip, falling toward the floor. The hooded teen quickly snatched her up out of mid-air, but she continued to slither around in his hands, making it impossible for him to get a good grip as she slipped through his fingers. His hands fumbled to catch the slippery snake as Edith merely bounced around in his hands, unaware of the painful drop that waited below her, her only goal in sight being that of the delicious crystal.
Finally, after much trial and error, the boy managed to get a good grip on Edith, walking swiftly over to Star's closet and setting her carefully inside before closing the door as quietly as possible. But thankfully, the sound was muffled by Star's loud shout.
"Warnicorn Stampede!"
The boy leaned heavily against the door as he watched a dozen or so angry looking unicorns appear around Star, raging around the room as they galloped past the dummy, crushing it underneath their thick hoof prints. Star let out a small cheer of joy at her success, turning to Marco with a smile of victory and the boy gave her a tired thumbs up in response.
Baby, however, noticed the boy lingering by the door and asked accusingly, "What are you doing now, Marco Diaz?" The small cat put her paws on her hips for emphasis.
Marco froze up for a second as he struggled to think up some sort of answer, his mouth opening and closing a few times as he struggled for words, looking over to his girlfriend for help. But all Star could do was shrug, looking just as lost on him and he finally replied, "I was, uh, afraid there might be a... draft."
"From the closet?" Baby said, raising a suspicious eyebrow.
"Well, I mean, you never know," Marco said with a nervous grin.
Star, seeing that a distraction was needed, quickly spoke up, saying, "So, Miss Baby, how did I do?"
This seemed to work though, as Baby returned her focus back on her job, humming to herself as she flipped through the clipboard and her notes, trying to compile them together into a grade. Star cast Marco a quick glance, the two both looking equally relieved they hadn't been caught, even though Star was still lost on what exactly was going on. That could have been a disaster. Thankfully, they had avoided anything major going wrong.
"Well, for the most part, I would say you're doing quite well," Baby said finally and Star seemed to visibly relax at that. "There are still some areas that could use some improvement but overall I think your magic training is coming along nicely."
"Oh, that's great to hear," Star breathed out, placing a hand over her heart. She had done it. She had passed the test and now everything would be-
"However, there is still one more task I'd like you to complete for me," Baby said, interrupting Star's moment of victory as fear clenched the girl's chest.
"W-What?" the blond royal whispered, caught off guard by this change of events. There was more? But she had just performed one of the hardest spells in the book flawlessly, what else could Baby possibly have her do that was more difficult than that? She had studied every spell, had trained her mind, body, and spirit for this test, and yet nothing could prepare her for what happened next.
With a simple snap of Baby's fingers, a pedestal appeared in the center of the room, a large, red apple set on top of it. "I'd like you to please, bring me that apple."
"Wait, seriously?!" Star exclaimed, blurting it out without thinking, too shell-shocked to make sense of anything.
Baby's eyes narrowed just an inch as she said, "You do know the proper spell for that, don't you?"
"U-Uh, of course," Star said, recovering some from her bafflement as she responded to the question being asked, racking her brain for the answer. "That would be Levitato." Otherwise known as one of the easiest spells in the whole book. Why would Baby be testing her on something as simple as that?
Baby nodded, before saying, "Then please, whenever you're ready." The small cat held out a hand in wait, keeping her gaze focused on Star, watching her every move closely. The blond royal forced herself to focus as she directed her attention onto the apple, holding her wand out as she got ready to perform the spell, waiting patiently for the energy to gather.
Marco, still keeping himself pressed against the door, couldn't help but lean forward some, intrigued by the conversation between his girlfriend and her instructor, his mouth hanging slightly open as his head spun with questions. There was more to the test? Was this some sort of bonus round or something, like in one of those video games Tom had shown him? Or was this another test in itself? The task seemed simple enough, maybe there was something he was missing?
"Hey, Marco, what's up?" a voice suddenly said beside him and turned to see Janna in bat form fly over and perch on his shoulder. "How's the test going?"
"Okay, I guess," Marco said via whisper, not wanting to distract Star to any degree. "But what are you doing here?"
"Oh the others asked me to see how things were going, so here I am," Janna replied, spreading her wings wide.
"Well we have a slight problem, Janna," Marco muttered, trying not to grimace as he remembered the determined reptile just on the other side of this door.
"I'll say, that cat's got a serious eating problem," Bat-Jan remarked sarcastically.
"No, I mean another problem. Your pet snake is in here and keeps trying to attack Baby."
"What?" Janna said in disbelief. "Edith is completely harmless, what possible reason would she have to-" That's when the creepy teen spotted the gemstone on the cat's head. "Ooohh, okay, that explains it. She's after the diamond." Janna said, nodding her head.
"Wait, are you serious?" Marco said in a raised whisper.
"Yep, diamond's are basically irresistible to Gem Feeders," Janna replied, matter-of-factly.
"Well, at least she can't cause any more trouble," Marco said, leaning back against the door.
"Uh, I wouldn't be too sure of that," Janna said and Marco gave his friend a confused look before she gestured to up ahead with her wing. Marco gasped, nearly falling over as he saw Edith slithering across the smooth tile.
"How did she get out?!" Marco exclaimed, barely keeping his voice low enough Star and Baby wouldn't hear.
"Edith is very sneaky," Janna answered simply.
"Yeah, I noticed," the hooded teen said, before adding hastily, "Now come on, help me catch her before she messes Star up."
The blond was breathing slowly and steadily, in and out, in and out, letting the magic gather trying to ignore the impatient tapping of Baby's pen on the clipboard. She tried to push out all distractions again, but a loud shuffling behind her, drew her out of her concentration and she took a quick glance over her shoulder to see what was going on, her wand still held out and ready. She nearly dropped said wand though as she saw Marco dive forward, with Janna perched on her shoulder, scooping up Edith off the ground, who hissed unhappily. Baby seeing Star's shocked reaction and hearing the small noise behind her started to turn and Star quickly tried to signal to Marco to do something, waving her hands in the air.
Marco spotted this and seeing Baby starting to turn, he threw Edith right over Baby's head and Star sucked in a breath at the unexpected action. But Janna was already ready for this as she zoomed off Marco's shoulder, swooping over and snatching the snake up in her claws without the cat noticing. Star could only watch in disbelief as Janna winked over at her and then flew out the window just as Baby turned back around. The blond royal stared dumbly out the window for a few seconds, her mouth hanging open before she shot her boyfriend a questioning look. What the heck was that about?! Her eyes asked and the boy gave her a sheepish grin.
Baby watched the short exchange between the two before marking something down on her clipboard. She looked up from it, giving the hooded teen a harsh frown, "Is there something you wanted to say, Mr. Diaz?"
Marco shook his head, before saying quickly, "Uh no, ma'am. I was just-"
"Um, Miss Baby," Star spoke up, trying to save her boyfriend from further scolding, hoping to draw the cat's attention back onto her. "I'm ready to perform the spell."
"Oh, that won't be necessary," Baby said.
Star's eyes widened in surprise. "W-What?!" the blond royal muttered in confusion. "But you asked me to-"
Baby held up a silencing paw. "I've seen all I needed to see," Baby replied simply, her tone cordial and chipper but Star could hear the condescension layered just beneath, which sent Star's nerves over the edge.
"But I didn't do it yet," Star tried, her voice hopeless and desperate as the familiar tendrils of fear claimed her. She turned to get back into position again. "If you'd just let me-"
"I'm not interested, princess," Baby retorted immediately. "The test is over, I'm afraid. I've made my decision."
Star tried to swallow back the creeping doubt as she asked nervously, "Then, h-how did I do?" There was a slight quiver in her voice as she held the wand up to her mouth in anxious anticipation. Marco too held his breath, crossing his fingers behind his back, both teens hoping for the best, waiting for Baby to say...
"You failed." Those two simple words shattered Star, the girl stumbling back in surprise as her head spun. Marco gasped in surprise, his eyes going wide as he struggled to comprehend that statement, unable to believe his girlfriend had actually failed. Star felt her knees go weak and had to sit down on her bed to keep herself from falling over as she stared blankly ahead. "I-I failed," the girl mumbled as the reality of the situation settled over her. How was that possible? After everything she had done, after all the work she had put into it. She had still failed. She was a failure of a princess and a Butterfly. What would Mewni think of her now?
Marco, seeing the devastated look on his bestie's face, decided to take matters into his own hands and attempt to change the fairy's mind. He sucked in a deep breath, before asking in the most convincing, friendly tone he could, "There has to be some mistake. If you'd just give Star another chance, I'm sure she could do the spell no problem."
"Oh, I'm sure she could too," Baby said. "But unfortunately, that's not why she failed." Her gaze narrowed in on the hooded teen, shooting him a scolding glare as she stabbed her pen in his direction, adding harshly, "The reason she failed was because of you, Mr. Diaz."
Marco was taken aback, putting a hand slowly to his chest as he replied, "M-Me." He swallowed guiltily, shrinking some into himself, before saying in a soft, defensive tone, "But I was just trying to help."
"That may be, but it's clear to me that all you are is a distraction to Star," Baby continued, holding nothing back as she voiced her true thoughts aloud, openly and cruelly criticizing Marco, uncaring of the hurt that flashed across the boy's face with every word. "She can't go more than a few seconds without staring at you and it's clear she can't focus on her tasks with you around. It's obvious to me that Star would be much farther along in her training if not for 'distractions' getting in the way of her progress."
Marco hung his head in shame, feeling guilt and remorse flowing through him in painful waves, tears forming in his shaky vision. He did his best to fight back the negative thoughts but it was like Baby had just opened a dam of emotions that he had spent months trying to rid himself of, a new fear threatening to thwart all the progress he had made. It was as if Baby had come and just reset him back to the old days when he lived in constant shame and dread under Toffee's cruel rule.
Star seeing how the fairy's words were affecting her tenderhearted boyfriend, felt something inside her snap, temporarily blacking out as all the pent up anger consumed her very being, painting her heart dark for a fleeting moment. Without even realizing it, Star was storming over to Baby, getting right up in her furry face as she shouted aggressively, "Don't ever say that about Marco!"
Baby was taken aback by this, fluttering back to put some distance between her and Star but the girl wouldn't be thwarted, taking a step forward into Baby's personal space once more. "Marco is not a distraction! If anything he's the whole reason I can do magic in the first place!"
Marco's mouth dropping open as his eyes flashed with concern for his friend, shaking his head slowly to try and tell her to stop. But the girl didn't see her boyfriend, all she saw was red, all of her anger directed solely at Baby for daring to insult her Marco. "He's helped me in more ways than I can count and that includes with magic! He makes me a better person and inspires me to do more! The only reason I was even able to do this stupid test at all is because of him and instead of blaming him for stuff you should be down on your knees thanking him because I wouldn't have gotten this far without him!"
"Star," Marco spoke up, his voice a quiet squeak as he tried feebly to gain his girlfriend's attention, trying to keep her from saying something she would regret... any more than she already had.
But Star couldn't be stopped, not until she had finished saying her piece, as she yelled at the top of her lungs in the most violent, enraged tone she could muster. "And if that's how you really feel then you can just... leave!"
All at once, the resentment and rage vanished from Star, leaving her feeling shaky and empty, panting as she stared into Baby's disturbed eyes. The fairy looked downright terrified, her eyes so wide it seemed she was staring at death itself and Star felt her heart clench as she realized what she had just done. She turned to Marco, casting him a concerned, fearful glance, only to find his face the picture of disbelief. She swallowed hard before turning back to Baby, who's horrified face had morphed into an angry scowl.
"U-Uh, um, Baby, I... I..." Star whispered, trying to think of some way to backtrack, to save herself from her previous actions. She couldn't have just ruined everything for herself... could she have? There had to be some way to fix this.
But as Star's brain struggled to come up with a way out of the mess she had made, it seemed she was already too late as Baby said in a monotone voice, "Very well then." And in the blink of an eye, she was gone, exiting out the window's of Star's room in a puff of black smoke, sending papers and other things scattering about the room at the abrupt action but Star was too numb to notice or care. Instead, she just stared lost out the window, unable to believe what had just happened.
She had just failed her test.
The blond royal felt her knees go weak again and she slowly backed over to her bed, plopping down on it hard as she stared forward in bewilderment. "I-I can't believe I just did that," she muttered to no one in particular, letting the sentence be drowned in the emptiness around and inside of her. "I just yelled at Baby," she continued, the confirmation feeling like acid on her tongue. But none moreso than the words that followed. "I-I just failed my test."
Marco watched his girlfriend closely, feeling his heart clench at the brokenness he saw on her face. She looked devastated and he was partially to blame for that. He had helped contribute to her failure, without even meaning to. "I'm sorry, Star," he said with a long sigh. Star looked up at him with confusion and he added apologetically, "You only failed because of me." The guilt threatened to eat him whole as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.
"What?! No, Marco, don't say that!" Star shouted at once, shooting him a panicked look. "This isn't your fault! It's mine." She put a hand to her chest for emphasis, giving him what she hoped was a comforting look. "I should have known better than to yell at Baby like that but when she said all those things..." Star shook her head, her eyes flashing with anger for just a second. "I just... lost it."
"Yeah, but," Marco muttered quietly, avoiding Star's eyes as he stared guiltily down at his shoes. "That wouldn't have happened if I hadn't-"
"Marco," Star said firmly, finally capturing Marco's attention as he looked up and locked eyes with her. She saw the tenseness in his body and gestured him closer. "Come here."
The boy obeyed, slowly walking over to his girlfriend, before standing nervously over her as she looked up at him with starry-eyed vision. "You did nothing wrong. I meant what I said to Baby, even if I was angry at the time. Every word."
"Really?" Marco muttered and Star gently placed her hands on his cheeks, causing his suns to spin.
"Absolutely! Marco before I met you, I could barely handle a Narwhal Blast," Star said, her voice sweet and light and full of affection for her dear bestie. This caused Marco to smile and this encouraged Star to continue. "And then you came along and inspired me! You made me want to be a better me and you made me feel confident, both in my magic... and in myself." That's why I love you, Star added in her head, her cheeks flushing slightly at the thought. But she forced the thought down before she got too flustered, as she finished with a bright grin, "I'd be lost without out."
Marco gave Star a goofy, puppy-dog grin as his shimmering eyes flooded with tears, unable to contain his joy at hearing those words from his girlfriend. He sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his sleeve, Star giggling at how adorable he looked in that moment. "I'd be lost without you, too," the boy said, his voice choked up with emotions.
Star felt her heart melt at the sight of her cute boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him closer to her, so their noses could touch. She stared deeply into his gorgeous chocolate brown eyes, whispering breathlessly, "Thank goodness that's never gonna happen."
Marco nodded, causing their noses to rub up against one another and sending tingles down each others' spines. "Yeah," he agreed, feeling like his heart might explode from the rush of wonderful emotions in his chest. However, a worrying thought crossed his mind as he asked nervously, "But what are we gonna do now? What if the MHC shuts down our commission?"
"Then we'll deal with it together. Like we always do," Star replied, no longer fearing the future. Not so long as she had her Marco here in her arms. As long as they had each other than there was nothing they couldn't fix. "And you know what," the blond royal added, still staring unblinkingly into endless brown orbs.
"What?" the boy asked, his eyes sparkling with childlike curiosity that set Star's very being ablaze.
"I don't regret what I said," the girl explained. "No one talks to my Marco like that."
Marco smiled brightly at that and thanked the girl with a gentle kiss. Star's eyes widened as their lips met, before sliding closed, enjoying the moment. It was pretty rare for Marco to initiate the kisses but boy was he good at it. His lips moved so expertly against her own, leading her into blissful wonderment while still keeping her in the moment, his hands lightly squeezing her sides as he deepened the affectionate kiss. Their cheekmarks lit up bright white, Star's wand laying next to her on the bed, doing the same as it had done many times before.
Only this time, there was another reaction from within the room.
The apple, which lay forgotten in the middle of Star's room, started to glow. White magic flowed around the fruit's form, causing it to shudder and quake before splitting open. The two perfect halves of the apple lay still for a second before the seeds were soon covered with the same white magic from before, small roots soon growing from the seeds. Those roots sprouted out limbs, which turned into a thick trunk, each tangle of branches looping around each other in a hypnotic dance, as more and more branches and roots sprouted out from the steadily growing tree. The tree soon filled at least a quarter of Star's room, spreading out as much as it possibly could, still glowing with magic the whole time.
Its branches were pink and red, the top of the tree making a heart shape. One of the long branches reached out over the two oblivious teen's heads, still too lost in their kiss to notice the miraculous sight. Finally, though an apple formed at the end of said branch, before cutting itself loose and dropping down toward the two... hitting Marco directly on the head.
"Ow!" the hooded teen said with a cry of pain, breaking off the kiss as he put a hand to the top of his aching head. He hissed in agony, his eyes scrunching up as he rubbed at the sore spot. "What the heck was that?!" he asked in confusion, looking down at whatever it was that had just injured him, Star following his gaze.
But their eyes both widened in surprise as they stared at the juicy apple, Star muttering, "Wha?" before the couple looked over at their unknowing creation. The blond royal jumped in surprise seeing the large tree now taking up space in her room, while Marco's eyes filled with bafflement, clearly lost on what he was staring at.
"Um, Star, why is there a tree in your room?" the boy asked naively.
Star just shook her head though, replying in an equally stunned tone, "I have no idea." But finally, she spotted the source of the large plant, her pupils shrinking as she stared at the apple core. "But, I-I think I did this somehow."
Marco turned to her with surprise, his eyes widening with both joy and confusion, "So you did magic without knowing it? Just like back in the graveyard."
"I guess," Star said with a shrug. She didn't quite understand it herself. She hadn't been even thinking about the apple, her focus and attention on Marco. Was the magic seriously acting on its own again? And if it was, why did that keep happening? It was always so random and unpredictable. She should probably have a talk with her mom about that later.
"Actually, you both played a part in it," a voice said beside them and the two screamed in surprise as they turned to see Baby snacking on the fallen apple, watching them closely from her perch on Star's bedpost.
"Baby?" Star said in disbelief.
"What are you doing back here?" Marco asked at the same time.
"Oh I was just observing the final part of your test," Baby replied as if the answer should be obvious.
"Wait, final part?" Star repeated dumbly as she dared herself to hope that all was not lost.
"But I thought she failed," Marco added, still looking lost, his eyebrows scrunching together cutely.
Baby shook her head. "That was all part of the test, I wanted to see how Princess Star would react to negative emotions and feelings," Baby explained simply, her voice light and bubbly.
"So wait, you insulted Marco to see how I would react!" Star shouted, feeling another quick flash of anger.
"Yes, and do forgive me for my behavior earlier, Mr. Diaz. It was necessary for the test," Baby replied.
"Uh, sure," Marco said, surprised by the sincerity in Baby's voice now. It was like he was talking to a whole different person- or cat- or whatever.
"But yes, there were three parts that I was told to test you on," Baby continued, a kind smile on her face now. "The first was to test your knowledge on the wand and it's history which you passed. The second was to test your actual ability with the wand, which you did exceptionally on. And the third was to see how your bond with Marco is affecting your magic growth."
"Wait, my bond with Marco, what do you mean?" Star asked.
Baby paused, before asking, "Has Glossaryk not covered this subject with you?" Star and Marco shared a look, their cheeks blushing slightly, the fairy's keen eyes watching the exchange closely. "I see," was all she said, before pausing to think of the best way to explain this to the two teens. "Well to put it quite simply, your feelings for one another can have an effect on your magic and on each other."
Star gasped, shooting Marco a disbelieving look which he returned, before the blond royal exclaimed, "Seriously?!"
Baby nodded. "Yes, your magic is tied very closely to your emotions, so your feelings can affect the strength of your magic and in some cases can even act on those feelings without a need to be cast or summoned." The cat turned to the tree with a knowing look. "And from the looks of it, I'd say you and Marco have a very strong bond indeed."
"Soooo, what you're saying is, I helped make that?" Marco asked, pointing numbly up at the tree that towered over them.
"Somewhat, yes," Baby answered, clearly pondering it some herself. "But it is a bit more complicated than that."
"So then, is there a way for me to control that power?" Star asked, hoping to find some way to use this ability to her advantage. If she let it go unchecked who knew what would happen. "Cause right now it's just kinda random if it works or not."
"Eventually yes. But that will take time to master. For now, the best thing you can do is to stay together and see how your bond grows with time. The closer you two are, the stronger your magic will be." The cat grabbed each of their hands, before guiding them together, the two curling their fingers around the others warm palm before sharing a loving smile, their cheeks pooling with blood.
"Thanks, Baby," Star said, her eyes never leaving Marco's. "We'll keep that in mind."
"Good to hear," the cat fairy said cheerfully. "I'll just be on my way, then. Farewell, Princess Star. Marco Diaz." She gave a quick nod to the two teens before turning to leave, only for Star to call out to her.
"Wait, I have one last question for you!" Star shouted, stretching out a hand in the cat's direction.
Baby turned to her with wide, surprised eyes which gently softened as she waited patiently to hear the girl's question. There was something that was bothering her about this whole thing, why would the MHC care about her relationship with Marco? Especially if it was all a scheme to take down her commission. It just didn't make sense. Had she been wrong this whole time? "Whose idea was it to test me on my relationship with Marco?" she asked, her eyebrows scrunching together. Other than her mom she couldn't think of anyone who would even care about this. Maybe she had set up the last bit of the test? She was an active member, after all.
Baby gave the girl an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, princess. But I'm not at liberty to say, I'm afraid that's top-secret information."
Star let out a sigh before muttering, "Figures." It was definitely her mom. It had to be. But she pushed down her annoyance as she gave Baby a lighthearted grin, saying politely, "Well, thanks anyway, Miss Baby."
"Just Baby is fine," the cat said with a wink.
Then, just like before Baby vanished into a cloud of smoke, which blasted through Star's room at a breakneck speed. It swirled around Star and Marco a few times before heading for the window it had come in through.
At that exact moment, though, the door to Star's room opened, Kelly walking in briskly with a tray of delectable goodies in her hands, Alfonso, Ferguson, and Janna following behind her. "Okay, get it while it's hot-" the hairy teen started to say, only to stop mid-step as she looked over at the swirling cloud of smoke. However, the smoke cloud quickly altered course, zipping by the tray and causing Kelly's hair to blow back wildly. In a second, everything on the plate was completely gone, not even a crumb left behind as the cloud of smoke returned to its original path and flew out the window, which slammed shut on its own.
For a few seconds, no one said anything, standing there stunned as the room settled down from the latest windstorm, Star room now messy than when she began this whole fiasco. Finally, it was Kelly who broke the long stretch of silence, groaning in annoyance as she shouted angrily, "Seriously, still no thank you! Just gonna eat and run." She let out a scoff, as she smoothed out her messy hair. "Ungrateful."
"Kelly, you're a waitress, how are you not used to that by now?" Janna asked sarcastically, Edith resting happily on her shoulder.
"Doesn't make it okay!" Kelly replied sharply, crossing her arms in front of her chest, while Tad gave her a comforting pat on the head.
"I'm sure it was delicious, babe. How could anyone not love your food," her boyfriend praised, lovingly.
"Thanks, Tad," Kelly said with a sigh.
"So how did the test go?" Janna asked, scratching Edith under the chin and shooting the two teens a knowing look.
Star shrugged. "I think I passed... somehow," the girl replied honestly. "It was kinda all a blur."
"You did amazing, Star!" Marco said, putting a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder.
"So did you! I couldn't have done it without you, Marco," Star said giving him a loving look.
"Hey, what are besties for?" the boy said, with a playful grin.
Star giggled at that, before giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "You're the best bestie a girl could ever have," she whispered lovingly to him.
"Sooo," Janna spoke up, eying the massive shrub taking up a large section of the girl's room. "You wanna explain what's with the giant tree in your room?"
Star and Marco shared a look, their cheeks flushing somewhat as the memory of how the tree had been created rushed back to them. "Ohh... it was just... part of the test," Star muttered shyly, sharing a knowing smile with her boyfriend.
"Well, fill us in on the details later, right now I could go for some grub," Ferguson said, rubbing his rumbling stomach and Alfonso nodding in agreement.
Star and Marco laughed, the former saying, "Oh man, sounds great! I'm starving."
"And on the way, we can give this little troublemaker back to Daisy and Violet," the hooded teen added, giving Edith a scolding glare while scratching her underneath the chin at the same time.
"Alright! How about it Kelly, you up for one more round of cooking?" Ferguson shouted, pointing dramatically over to the girl.
"Not happening," Kelly deadpanned, her body sagging with exhaustion as she rubbed her tired eyes with the palms of her hands.
Marco put a hand on his friend's shoulder before saying, "Don't worry, Kelly. Star and I can make some of our famous Super Awesome Nachos."
"Yep, it's the least we can do after everything you did for us, today," Star added sweetly.
Kelly gave her friends a grateful smile. "Don't mention it. Happy to help out my friends." She paused though before adding hintingly, "So long as my friends are ready to return the favor."
Marco and Star nodded, catching on to her unspoken request. "You're on," Star replied.
"Ready to help you win this year's baking competition for sure!" Marco shouted, pumping a fist in the air.
"Good to hear," Kelly said with a curt nod.
"So what are you planning on making, Kells?" Star asked as the group all exited the room together, leaving the messy, unorganized room to the work of the maids, the friends ready to celebrate their victory and plan for their next one.
"Glad you asked..." the hairy girl began, with a sly grin on her face.
…
"Star's magic progression is coming along nicely," Baby began her report while munching greedily on a snooker's bar at the same time, speaking in between bites of food. "She's already mastered some of the toughest spells in the Book of Spells, with no help from Glossaryk I might add." The fairy finished up the bar before tossing the wrapper aside and starting on a new one. "At the rate her magic is growing she will exceed standards and full mastery of her Trait within a year or two."
Baby quickly downed the bar of chocolate, chewing noisily before swallowing and continuing, "Her emotional state and confidence level, which showed concern beforehand also seem to be leveling out thanks to the efforts of Marco Diaz and the rest of her friends. Although she does show issues with temperament and judgment where her friends are involved, particularly that of Marco Diaz." The fairy shuddered as she remembered the pure rage and hate on Star's face after merely insulting the hooded teen. Heaven help the unlucky soul who had to face the protective wrath of that girl.
Baby shook her head clear of this thought though as she carried on with her report, picking up yet another candy bar and throwing the previous wrapper onto the growing pile. "As for the nature of the princess's relationship with the Diaz boy... well, I haven't seen a bond like theirs in a long time. And the pure magic that grows from their love is... quite astounding. With time, it could be a very valuable tool indeed."
Baby finally finished with her report looked up at her boss, saying in a soft tone, "It's exactly as you predicted, Councilmen Lekmet."
The goat creature nodded solemnly, his brilliant mind just thinking and calculating for a few moments, turning over possibilities and thoughts too complex for mere mortals to even comprehend. Before finally, he met Baby's eye bleating out a commanding message to the feline, "Thank you for your assistance in this matter."
"Of course, Councilmen Lekmet," Baby said before bowing. "Shall I send this report to the rest of the commission?"
Lekmet shook his head, holding out a paw toward Baby. "No, I will deliver it to them myself," he replied and the fairy happily passed him the clipboard, before going back to eating her treats. Lekmet read over the tiny print for a moment. He would have to be sure to 'fix it' before turning it into the others. He couldn't give them any more tools against Star. Remembering to cover his bases, he added sternly, "What we discussed here does not leave this room."
"That's probably for the best," the fairy said, peeling back the wrapper on another snooker's. "Heckapoo and the others sure have it out for those kids. But personally, I can't help but route for them. Star and Marco's goals are noble. I hope they can pull it off."
Lekmet's gaze softened while his mind turning with a thousand possibilities and outcomes, before holding on a shining future where two teens achieve the impossible, Monsters and Mewmans united and at peace. And even though, Lekmet knew he held very little sway amongst the other, younger members of the commission, he would still do everything in his power to see this future came to light. Even if that meant going behind the commission's back. Star and Marco may not know it, but they had a hidden ally, silently cheering them on in secret. "As do I," Lekmet said in a soft, far-away tone, a hint of sadness and longing just barely creeping into his voice.
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What is depression? types, causes, signs and treatment
What is depression?
Life is full of ups and downs. But when the down times last for weeks or months at a time or keep you from your regular activities, you may be suffering from depression. Depression is a medical illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things and is different from feeling "blue" or down for a few hours or a couple of days. It is not a condition that can be willed or wished away.
What are the different types of depression?
Different kinds of depression include: Major depressive disorder. Also called major depression, this is a combination of symptoms that hurt a person's ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy hobbies. Dysthymic (diss-TIME-ic) disorder. Also called dysthymia, this kind of depression lasts for a long time (two years or longer). The symptoms are less severe than major depression but can prevent you from living normally or feeling well. Some kinds of depression show slightly different symptoms than those described above. Some may start after a particular event. However, not all scientists agree on how to label and define these forms of depression. They include: Psychotic depression, which occurs when a severe depressive illness happens with some form of psychosis, such as a break with reality, hallucinations, and delusions. Postpartum depression, which is diagnosed if a new mother has a major depressive episode within one month after delivery. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a depression during the winter months, when there is less natural sunlight.
What causes depression?
There is no single cause of depression. The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends screening for depression for everyone, regardless of their risk factors. But certain things can raise a woman's risk for depression: Genetics (family history) – If a woman has a family history of depression, she may be more at risk of developing it herself. However, depression may also occur in women who don't have a family history of depression. Chemical imbalance – The brains of people with depression look different than those who don't have depression. Also, the parts of the brain that manage your mood, thoughts, sleep, appetite, and behavior don't have the right balance of chemicals. Hormonal factors – Menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriage, postpartum period, perimenopause, and menopause may all cause a woman to develop depression. Stress – Stressful life events such as trauma, loss of a loved one, a bad relationship, work responsibilities, caring for children and aging parents, abuse, and poverty may trigger depression in some people. Medical illness – Dealing with serious medical illnesses like stroke, heart attack, or cancer can lead to depression.
What are the signs of depression?
Not all people with depression have the same symptoms. Some people might only have a few, and others a lot. How often symptoms occur, and how long they last, is different for each person. Symptoms of depression include: Feeling sad, anxious, or "empty" Feeling hopeless Loss of interest in hobbies and activities that you once enjoyed Decreased energy Difficulty staying focused, remembering, making decisions Sleeplessness, early morning awakening, or oversleeping and not wanting to get up No desire to eat and weight loss or eating to "feel better" and weight gain Thoughts of hurting yourself Thoughts of death or suicide Easily annoyed, bothered, or angered Constant physical symptoms that do not get better with treatment, such as headaches, upset stomach, and pain that doesn't go away.
I think I may have depression. How can I get help?
Below are some people and places that can help you get treatment. Family doctor Counselors or social workers Family service, social service agencies, or clergy person Employee assistance programs (EAP) Psychologists and psychiatrists If you are unsure where to go for help, check the Yellow Pages under mental health, health, social services, suicide prevention, crisis intervention services, hotlines, hospitals, or physicians for phone numbers and addresses.
What if I have thoughts of hurting myself?
Depression can make you think about hurting yourself or suicide. You may hurt yourself to: Take away emotional pain and distress Avoid, distract from, or hold back strong feelings Try to feel better Stop a painful memory or thought Punish yourself Release or express anger that you're afraid to express to others Yet, hurting yourself does just that — it hurts you. If you are thinking about hurting or even killing yourself, please ask for help! Call 911, 800-273-TALK (8255) or 800-SUICIDE, or check in your phone book for the number of a suicide crisis center. The centers offer experts who can help callers talk through their problems and develop a plan of action. These hotlines can also tell you where to go for more help in person. You also can talk with a family member you trust, a clergy person, or a doctor. There is nothing wrong with asking for help — everyone needs help sometimes. You might feel like your pain is too overwhelming to cope with, but those times don't last forever. People do make it through suicidal thoughts. If you can't find someone to talk with, write down your thoughts. Try to remember and write down the things you are grateful for. List the people who are your friends and family, and care for you. Write about your hopes for the future. Read what you have written when you need to remind yourself that your life is IMPORTANT!
How is depression found and treated?
Most people with depression get better when they get treatment. The first step to getting the right treatment is to see a doctor. Certain medicines, and some medical conditions (such as viruses or a thyroid disorder), can cause the same symptoms as depression. Also, it is important to rule out depression that is associated with another mental illness called bipolar disorder. A doctor can rule out these possibilities with a physical exam, asking questions, and/or lab tests, depending on the medical condition. If a medical condition and bipolar disorder can be ruled out, the doctor should conduct a psychological exam or send the person to a mental health professional. Once identified, depression almost always can be treated with: Therapy Medicine called antidepressants Both therapy and medicine Some people with milder forms of depression do well with therapy alone. Others with moderate to severe depression might benefit from antidepressants. It may take a few weeks or months before you begin to feel a change in your mood. Some people do best with both treatments — therapy and antidepressants.
Should I stop taking my antidepressant while I am pregnant?
The decision whether or not to stay on medications is a hard one. You should talk with your doctor. Medication taken during pregnancy does reach the fetus. In rare cases, some antidepressants have been associated with breathing and heart problems in newborns, as well as jitteriness, difficulty feeding, and low blood sugar after delivery. However, moms who stop medications can be at high risk of their depression coming back. Talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of taking antidepressants during pregnancy. Your doctor can help you decide what is best for you and your baby. In some cases, a woman and her doctor may decide to slowly lower her antidepressant dose during the last month of pregnancy. Doing so can help the newborn suffer from fewer withdrawal symptoms. After delivery, a woman can return to a full dose. This can help her feel better during the postpartum period, when risk of depression can be greater.
Should I stop taking my antidepressant while breastfeeding?
If you stopped taking your medication during pregnancy, you may need to begin taking it again after the baby is born. Be aware that because your medication can be passed into your breast milk, breastfeeding may pose some risk for a nursing infant.
What are SSRIs?
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a kind of antidepressant for treating depression and anxiety disorders. However, a number of research studies show that certain antidepressants, such as some of the SSRIs (see box at right) have been used relatively safely during breastfeeding. You should discuss with your doctor whether breastfeeding is an option or whether you should plan to feed your baby formula. Although breastfeeding has some advantages for your baby, most importantly, as a mother, you need to stay healthy so you can take care of your baby. Before taking medication for an anxiety disorder: Ask your doctor to tell you about the effects and side effects of the drug. Tell your doctor about any alternative therapies or over-the-counter medications you are using. Ask your doctor when and how the medication should be stopped. Some drugs can't be stopped abruptly but must be tapered off slowly under a doctor's supervision. Work with your doctor to determine which medication is right for you and what dosage is best. Be aware that some medications are effective only if they are taken regularly and that symptoms may come back if the medication is stopped.
Is it safe for young adults to take antidepressants?
It may be safe for young people to be treated with antidepressants. However, drug companies who make antidepressants are required to post a "black box" warning label on the medication. A "black box" warning is the most serious type of warning on prescription drugs. It may be possible that antidepressants make children, adolescents, and young adults more likely to think about suicide or commit suicide. In 2007, the FDA said that makers of all antidepressant medications should extend the warning to include young adults up through age 24. The warning says that patients of all ages taking antidepressants should be watched closely, especially during the first weeks of treatment. Possible side effects to look for are worsening depression, suicidal thinking or behavior, or any unusual changes in behavior such as sleeplessness, agitation, or withdrawal from normal social situations. Families and caregivers should pay close attention to the patient, and report any changes in behavior to the patient's doctor.
Can I take St. John's wort to treat depression?
St. John's wort is a plant with yellow flowers that has been used for centuries for health purposes, including depression and anxiety. However, research studies from the National Institutes of Health found that St. John's wort was not effective in treating major depression. Other research shows that St. John's wort can make some medicines not work or that it can cause dangerous side effects. The herb appears to interfere with certain drugs used to treat heart disease, HIV, depression, seizures, certain cancers, and organ transplant rejection. The herb may also make birth control pills not work as well. Because of this, people should always consult their doctors before taking any herbal supplement. St. John's wort is not a proven therapy for depression. If depression is not treated the right way, it can become severe and, in some cases, may be linked with suicide.
How can I help myself if I am depressed?
You may feel exhausted, helpless, and hopeless. It may be very hard to do anything to help yourself. But it is important to realize that these feelings are part of the depression and do not reflect real life. As you understand your depression and begin treatment, negative thinking will fade. In the meantime: Engage in mild activity or exercise. Go to a movie, a ballgame, or another event or activity that you once enjoyed. Participate in religious, social, or other activities. Set realistic goals for yourself. Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities and do what you can as you can. Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Try not to isolate yourself, and let others help you. Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Do not expect to suddenly "snap out of" your depression. Often during treatment for depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before your depressed mood lifts. Postpone important decisions, such as getting married or divorced or changing jobs, until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation. Be confident that positive thinking will replace negative thoughts as your depression responds to treatment. Click to Post
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