#the orc lady is so cute

[spacecardiver]

Chilchuck looks like he didn’t even realize he was just worried about them.

[rucow]

having dwemer ocs is so funny

[symbiomancy]

boutique —minotaur

—summary: Your minotaur companion ruined your underwear after your speed date, so he makes good on his promise to replace them.

// AO3 // monster masterlist

—cw: minotaur x reader, smut (p in v sex), creampie, belly bulge, squirting, size difference, mentions of fantasy racism (I tried to stop myself from adding plot obviously I failed ok)

—wc: 2,2k

—a/n: part 2 of this! also I'm switching to shorter smut for a while, I watched the haikyuu movie yesterday and I gotta write sth for my stupid rooster head captain on my main.

You exchanged phone numbers after your little tryst in the bar bathroom.

And you’re content to write it off as a one-off fling until he calls you on Tuesday evening to invite you shopping — because he still has to make up for the pair of panties he ruined (and kept). You cannot contain your grin as you settle on the time and place, and you confirm you’ve received the text with the exact address.

Said address leads you to a fancy boutique. You glance down at your yellow sundress, wipe off the imaginary lint, and ignore the thought of being underdressed to shop in a place like this. You glance at your phone to double-check the address. It’s the correct building.

You nearly jump out of your skin when the front door of the boutique opens with a flourish and your minotaur companion greets you with a wave. Some pedestrians pause and stare, and you duck your head and hurry over to the store door, press past the minotaur’s body to escape into the building.

The interior is nice, fancy even: high, arched ceiling and tall windows, pillar with intricate carvings situated around the store, cream-colored walls with black shelves, black tables displaying merchandise. Sculpted models of bodies are erected onto said tables and shelves, a different monster everywhere you look. One table has a naga statue, a shelf has something with tentacles you can’t make out from the distance, and a third displays a sculpted orc lady. Her tusks are capped with gold.

Other than you, the minotaur, and the display bodies dressed in gorgeous lingerie, the store is void of life.

“Nobody’s here today,” the minotaur says.

“Oh?”

“I take care of the business part of running a business; my sister works with designers to order from. She also arranges models and sculptors for the display models.” He places his hands on his thighs, and runs them up and down once as if he’s nervous. “It’s just us today. I hope that’s okay.”

You nod, and let a small smile curl your lips up. The minotaur motions you along with the sweep of his hand, leading you through the showroom, winding around the displays — they’re gorgeous, obviously not mass-produced — until you arrive at a section with models of familiar build on the tables. Humanoid.

He follows a few steps behind you as you make your way around the tables, stop to pick a garment up to examine it, then carefully place it back. They’re gorgeous: lace-trimmed pieces, bejeweled pieces, crotchless pieces — your face heats up when you pick up a cute pink thong and realize it’s crotchless. The minotaur behind you pointedly looks away.

There’s a plush seat outside the dressing rooms and the minotaur takes a seat, and motions you towards one of the stalls. Though it’s much less like the bathroom stall from your previous encounter and more like a small but spacious room carved into the wall, separated from the store by a curtain.

You stare at the array of lingerie sets on their hangers and reach for the red one, fold your dress, and place it onto the long seat in front of the mirror.

The red… looks good. You twirl in front of the mirror, place your hands on your chest, onto ur thighs, onto ur ass, turn again and again and again. You… look good. It’s comfortable, too; the bra doesn’t dig into your skin and the seams on the panties don’t itch. You reach for the curtain and take a deep breath, then pull it back.

The minotaur looks up from his phone, lets it slide between his thigh and the chair armrest. Heat rushes to your cheeks but it’s way too late to back out, so you give him a slow twirl. He’s silent, staring at you, a closed fist pressing against his mouth. The silence stretches, drags.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You look amazing,” he says then, voice strained. Your entire face explodes in warmth and you nearly trip over your feet as you step back into the dressing room, yanking the curtain between you. “Sorry, I —”

“No, like… I wanted to ask why you approached me at the speed dating event.” You shrug off the red set of lingerie and place it on top of your dress. You slide the white set off its hanger and — oh fuck, the crotch area is just see-through lace.

“You’re gorgeous. I wanted to meet you.”

Your face might melt off at this rate.

“Well, I mean, humans have a… reputation, and attraction to anything non-human is considered sexual deviancy on a fetishistic level — as if anything other than straight vanilla sex isn’t also considered sexual deviancy. High school health classes were miserable enough and they chose to spread the propaganda spiel about how you shouldn’t fuck anything non-human because they’re below us. ‘Humans are the superior race’ or whatever — what a load of crock, how are you smarter than something with three heads and three times the brain?” The white bra is even better, makes your tits pop.

On the other side of the curtain, the minotaur chortles. “The amount of lectures we got about not hooking up with human women…” he huffs. “Sexual deviancy part matches up, though.”

“Oh? Were your reasons more interesting than ours?”

“Well, they liked to say human women specifically would use us for our cocks, then cry about assault and have their males skin and wear us… Men would wage war even if it was consensual because they think we’re below them.” You wince at his words. “History sure isn’t pretty, huh?”

“Yeah.”

You pull the curtain back and step out, do your little twirl for him. He hums appreciatively, motions towards the large mirror next to the dressing room. You step up and angle your body back and forth as he looms behind you, arms crossed over his chest. His biceps bulge through the button-up shirt he’s wearing. His heated breath caresses your bare back.

“Are those two the only ones you picked?”

“No, there’s one more.”

The minotaur nods and steps back to allow you passage into the dressing room.

Inside, you nearly keel over when you realize the last set has crotchless panties. But considering your companion has once already rearranged your guts in objectively worse conditions… You pull the curtain back to stick your head out.

“I’m not coming out in this,” you say and motion him inside with the jerk of your head. He adjusts himself and stands, and oh — you pointedly ignore the bulge in his pants as he slips through the curtain. He doesn’t stray far from you, stands so close you can practically feel the heat rolling off his body. Slowly, you turn to give him the full view of the piece, try and fail to ignore the shape of his cock through his pants, fuck he’s huge, stop when you can look at him head-on in the mirror again.

The minotaur raises a hand, drags his fingertips across your skin, leaves goosebumps in their wake, up your thigh, over the curve of your hip, up your stomach. He pauses at your breast, places his large palm over it, and pinches your nipple between his fingers. You gasp, press back against him. The beast in his pants rests at your lower back.

His other hand finds purchase on your hip, drags over the front of your panties. You slide your legs further apart and his breath hitches when his fingers find your uncovered cunt. They stall on your clit and you try to grind against them, pushing your ass against him even harder.

The minotaur pulls the hand on your clit back and you want to whine as it relocates to your upper back. He pushes you forward. You nearly trip, barely bracing your hands against the plush seat with your dress and discarded items. He undoes his belt buckle with one hand and when he’s pressing against you next, the tip of his cock drags through your folds. You press back, try to grind against him.

“So impatient,” he tuts, pressing against your entrance. You’re almost shaking from excitement — every orgasm you’ve tried to draw out on your own between now and your little bar bathroom rendezvous on Saturday has been okay but not nearly enough to be thoroughly satisfying. Your own fingers are good but there’s something about another participant, one whose actions you cannot control and who could do whatever they want with you has something in your brain short-circuiting. He could use you as his personal fleshlight and you’d thank him just for being full of his cum.

The minotaur slowly pushes in and fuck, you can feel him everywhere. You stifle the moan in your throat as he bottoms into you — fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s so big you swear you can see him in your guts when you look down — and he pauses, exhales slowly. He’s thick, warm, you can feel every ridge, every pulsing vein on his cock pressing against your insides.

He moves, pulls out nearly all the way, and thrusts back in as far as he can. It drives the air from your lungs and with it, a loud gasp. Your face erupts in heat and you look down, away from your reflection in the mirror. He sets a slow pace at first and you push your hips back against him, skin slapping against skin. It echoes in your ears over the roaring blood, lewd and wet the sounds your pussy is making, and you try not to focus on it, yet it permeates through you, bounces around in your skull. He keeps the pace and lets his hands run over your body, petting and groping and tugging. His fingers catch your nipple through the sheer lace of your bra.

You cum right then and there, clench around him with a moan from the back of your throat, arms shaking under your weight. He slows and you frantically shake your head.

“More. More,” you manage between choked breaths, push your ass against his pelvis. He speeds up, hands traveling again, exploring. One rests on your right hip, the other cups the underside of your thigh and raises it, thrusts in and you nearly shout when he hits something so deep in you but it feels so good, so full.

So good and too much. He’s too big, too deep. He picks up the pace, every ridge and curve of his cock dragging against your insides. Your pussy dribbles around him, accommodates for his size even though it feels like he’s about to split you in half but he feels so good, he’s so deep. Every nerve in your body is alight, fingertips buzzing, mind fuzzy. You cannot form a single coherent thought, let alone words, and find yourself babbling nonsense mixed with pleas for more on his huge cock as he pistons in and out of your ruined pussy.

Maybe, maybe, those fuckasses had a point when they claimed human women would line up to be fleshlights for monsters.

Your vision blurs with tears — he’s too much, too much for your sanity, for your sopping cunt, as if he’s rearranging your insides with every thrust to fit himself in and you welcome it, meet his thrusts halfway with erratic hips. His hand moves, your thigh clutched in his palm, dragging your legs even further apart. He’s deep, so deep and his cock touches something and you see white, squirt around his cock as the orgasm hits you. Your body is on fire, heat rolling through your cunt to your torso to your extremities. Your arms are shaking under your weight.

Your fluid splatters over his pants but he doesn’t even react, mutters something under his breath, and picks up to pace to chase his own high in your spasming cunt. His thrusts are brutal, thick fingers digging into your flesh, fuck, you can feel him in the back of your throat. His breathing is loud and labored and even then it’s barely audible over the smacking when your skin meets and the squelch of your pussy as he pistons in and out.

The minotaur grunts, digs his fingers into your flesh so hard you nearly shout, and buries himself deep into your pussy. His cock pulses — fuck, you can feel it pulsing, spasming in your cunt — and cums with a groan. He presses in further, as if he has any room left, cums and cums and cums. There’s so much it seeps out of your pussy, coats your thighs as it traverses the length of your leg as it surrenders to gravity.

Everything aches. Your skin is sticky with sweat and cum, yours and his. Your breathing is erratic, chest heaving to take in oxygen.

He pulls out slowly, stifling a hiss. Pearly cum dribbles out of your pussy, lands in the puddle on the dressing room floor. Your legs give out but he’s there, large, warm, secure hands on your waist to keep you from falling. He picks you up with ease, lowers himself onto the plush seat, and rests you on his lap. You hear his heartbeat thundering under your ear but yours is no better right now.

“Would you…” he begins after a moment, still panting, and pauses to swallow. “Would you like to go out? On a real date, I mean.”

“Even though mingling with humans is the fetishistic kind of sexual deviancy?” You ask. Your minotaur laughs. It’s a pleasant sound, you find.

“Yeah.”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

banners by @/cafekitsune

[welikeimagines-andfandoms]

LOTR/ The Hobbit Preference: How You Met (2/4)

(1) (3) (4)

Kili

You and Kili meet during the quest to reclaim Erebor. Oddly enough you arrived on the quest right as the company were in the middle of fighting off a bunch of orcs. Gandalf was relieved to see you but the presence of such a cute human woman seemed to confused the rest of the company.

“Y/N! Thank the Valar you’re here!” Gandalf shouted as you walked into the fight.

Kili was confused and as he looked to see the sweet looking woman, he was awestruck. His awe and confusion only intensified as you were running towards him sword drawn.

“Get down!” He heard you shout as you pushed him aside, your blade landing in the guts of an orc.

Before he had the chance to thank you, you were off. Managing to slay just as many as the rest of the company combined, they all looked at you in awe.

“Guess I’ll be a good asset to the team.” You smile at the group of dwarves as you make your way back over to them.

“Especially to keep you safe.” You wink at Kili, causing the prince to smirk and blush.

Legolas

Legolas and you meet when he goes to Rohan to meet with his friend Eomer. You worked as a barmaid at one of the pubs in town and manage to make the sweet elf blush.

“Hello, your highness. The regular today?” You ask as you approach the table Eomer and Legolas sat at.

“Yes and please, just Eomer.” He politely replies.

“So sorry, and who is our lovely elf friend?” You ask smirking as you turned to a very cute blushing Legolas.

“This is Legolas. He is the prince of the woodland realm.” Eomer introduced.

“Would you like me to call you ‘your highness’ or just Legolas, sweetheart?” You ask the cute elf, now completely ignoring Eomer.

“Uh, ahem, a-ah, ju-just Legolas, is fine.” He shyly stutters out, earning a chuckle disguised as a cough from his friend, and sweet giggle from you.

“How long are you in town for, Legolas?” You ask him, your whole body now facing Legolas.

“Uh-ah, a-a couple more days.” He replies as a blush grows on his pale cheeks.

“Well I guess you’ll have to come back before you leave so you can take me somewhere nice.” You smirk and wink as you turn around, leaving a smirking Eomer and a blushing Legolas.

Lindir

Lindir and you meet when your friend Bard takes you to Rivendell for a spring festival. You watch Lindir play so beautifully that you become enthralled.

As Lindirs performance comes to an end you can’t help but enthusiastically cheer louder than the rest of the audience, embarrassing you slightly but leaving a light blush on Lindirs cheeks.

“You play so beautifully. We don’t have music like that where I’m from; your music sounds like something from a lovely dream.” You can’t help but gush at the sweet elf.

“We-well, thank you very much, I appreciated your applause. It’s not the response I usually get from other elves but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, my lady.” He confessed.

“I’m glad you appreciated it, I was a little embarrassed but I’m glad it brought you joy. I’m not very used to elven culture.” You shyly smile.

“Perhaps I could show you around the festivities, make you feel a bit more comfortable.” He offered.

“That sounds lovely.” You agree as you take the arm he offers.

[knight-of-flowerss]

The hobbit

Thorin x hobbit reader

Reader is bilbos older badass sister who kills anything and anybody with her cast iron pan.

So we know dwarfs don’t get pregnant much, an basically rare to have girls, so how would the others react to reader (everyone lives au) telling thorin she’s pregnant after the battle, now hobbits are small so one imagining they have have up to 4 kids at once and be ok, probably even expected.

So when the dwarfs and surprise her (and bilbo the soon to be uncle along with lady Dis) with her finished nursery, and after the excitement, reader asks were the rest of the cribs are!!!

…

The dwarfs ask what she means and she an bilbo say that hobbits give birth to more then one child, so I wanna see there reactions (including Dis) when reader says she’s pregnant with 4 children I wanna know the reactions of the grate thorin and the fearsome Dwalin!

Bounes if you add when the babies are born (3 girls and 1 boy ) and the reaction of the company

thorin screaming “I can’t hold them all I need more arms or bigger ones!! 😭😭😭”

OMG YES I LOVE THIS SMMMMM ITS SO CUTE AHAHAHHA!!!! I opened this at like 10 o’clock at night so I was tired so I’ve don’t it today after school so I had more time and it didn’t sound loopy 💀

This hasn’t been spell checke btw!

Masterlist

Happy Ending

Anyone’s name: this colour and in bold

Thorin Oakenshield x Hobbit!Reader

You’re little brother Bilbo has always really only kept to himself, occasionally having relatives (but never distant because he doesn’t trust them around his cutlery) around Bag End.

You were his daring older sister, never afraid of anything, selfless, badass. You were staying at your brothers while your burrow got a new door. You offered to help but the other hobbits refused as they were paying you a favour.

You and your brother sat in shock as twelve dwarfs and a wizard wrecked Bilbo’s house. But after the table was set you soon forgot all about it, your brother on the other hand..

When a dwarf named Thorin showed up you couldn’t help but stare at him. He was your height, had long, dark locks and eyes so beautiful that you could get lost in them with just one glance. And when they proposed Bilbo come on this journey with them you immediately invited yourself along.

The journey was harrowing, fighting off ogres, goblins, orcs. Then there was the ‘final battle’ against Azog and his army. It was tough but it was no match for the dwarves and their resilience.

They fought with all there might, defeating the army and Azog and returning home safely.

For almost half a year now, you and Thorin had been married. Half a year of pure joy. And surprises.

You felt sick as a dog for almost 3 weeks now, your body weak. Dís, Thorin’s sister, suspected something was wrong and encouraged you to go and see a doctor of some kind. It had been confirmed though that it wasn’t any fatal illness, nothing of the sort.

You and Thorin where actually expecting.

The two of you were estatic, jumping for joy, but a little bit inside of you was sacred, terrified even. You knew what this meant. You knew you had to push out multiple of the little creatures miracles. But you would go through all that pain for Thorin.

As the months passed your belly grew and grew, never stopping, even for just a moment. The dwarves and your brother offered to help build a nursery for the little lad inside you (they assumed it was a boy because of the very low chances of a little baby girl popping out), at first you tried to help them but they just brushed you off and told you to relax, so, you hesitantly accepted the offer.

While they moved everything into the nursery and decorated it, you took a nap (which ended up being like 3 hours but we don’t talk abt that-). When you woke up you saw Bilbo and the side of you, reaching to wake you up.

You jumped as you hadn’t expected him to be there.

“Bilbo! What are you doing here?!” You whispered-shouted through gritted teeth. “Uh- the nursery- um, it’s ready.” Bilbo stutters, clearly shocked that you wanted to shout at him.

Bilbo helped you up as you where weaker and your belly put more and more pressure on your back.

You stood at the doorway as Dís and Bilbo pushed the doors open with big smiles. In the room stood Oin, Glóin, Dori, Ori, Nori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dwalin, Balin, Fíli, Kíli and stood in the middle with a soft smile one his face was your dear husband, Thorin.

You slowly stepped into the room looking around. Little toys on shelves, a play area with a fur rug, a changing station, one crib and more.

When you had finally reached your lover, you turned to him with a raised eyebrow and a cocked head.

“One crib? Really?”

Thorin looked a tad confused, “what do you mean my love? What is the babe supposed to rest in?”

“I think you mean babes.” You replied with a smirk. A bunch of ‘eh?’s where muttered around the room while Bilbo suppressed a chuckle.

Thorin sat with a half confused, half shocked face. “Whatever do you mean my love?..”, “you do know Hobbits have multiple children, do you not?”

Thorin’s eyes widened as your words registered in his head. “What-..”

The pregnancy was terrible, horrendous even, but your spirits where high when Thorin was by your side. You had given him four children, 3 girls and a boy.

(I got the last two names from a D&D website for dwarf names cus I couldn’t think of owt 💀)

Your little boy was named Thráin (III) after his father. Your first girl was called Dísa after Thorin’s sister Dís. Your second girl was named Arrin, meaning ‘exalted’ and ‘lofty’ and your last little girl was named Asta, meaning ‘divine strength’ , ‘love’ and ‘star-like’, she was named this due to her being the hardest out of them all to give birth to and that you and Thorin nearly lost her.

You and Thorin are sat on a couch in the children’s room with a fur blanket o top of yous while your four little toddlers play with eachother with wooden and plush toys.

You lean your head on Thorin’s shoulder as you look at your children and then up at your lover, who was already staring at you. “I am so grateful for the children you have brought me, love. You have made me a father, you a mother and all of us a family, I am forever in your debt my queen, I love you.”

You smiled up at your husband, tears welling up in your eyes as you wear a dopey smile on your face, “I love you too my King,”, you lean up and kiss your husband, you couldn’t ask for a better life.

An amazing husband, a gentle son and three graceful daughters, you loved them all so much, you finally had your happy ending.

I hope you like this cus i finished this while I was ill 😭

@thethreeeyed-raven

[shiraglassman]

books i owe reviews to

I am behind on Stuff but here are some books I read recently that I liked

Lavender House 1950′s queer noir. Gay cop gets fired for being gay and ends up a hard boiled PI solving one of those Rich Household Murders when the head of a soapmaking fortune falls to her death. Has TW’s but a happy ending for the MC, who sounds like Batman in the audiobook.

Legends and Lattes Orc retires from adventuring and opens a coffeehouse in a city that’s never heard of coffee (which is its own kind of funny.) She accidentally found-families herself because of course she does, and it’s got f/f in it. 

A Gentleman in Moscow Smartass elegant aristocrat is sentenced to permanent house arrest in a hotel when the communists take over in Russia 100ish years ago. Book describes the next several decades of his life and all the adventures you can get up to in a small space, which are: plenty. Surprise, like the previous one this also has restaurant stuff in it so I felt very Seen by the person who recommended it to me. Has m/f in it.

A Lady for a Duke Regency m/f romance. Heroine was thought dead on the battlefield in Waterloo but instead, she’s nursed back to health in a cottage and takes the opportunity to quietly transition and return home to become the “poor companion” to her brother’s wife. Problem: her old best friend, who has a lot of Waterloo trauma himself, is at the end of his rope. He does lash out when he figures out his new love is his old lost friend, but it’s 100% selfishness not transphobia (”how could you let me think you were dead”) and there is more than enough space in the story for him to redeem himself. Just wanted to make sure y’all knew that was in there.

I also read Project Hail Mary ages ago and that was really cute. I LOVED the ending bc it was more than I was expecting by that point. I went in nearly completely cold and that’s why I’m not describing the plot, just that someone I trusted said that they thought I’d like it. So I’m gonna let that be the spoiler: that it was ultimately cozy enough for the likes of me. :P

[rpgchoices]

What rpgs do you recommend? This blog made me find out about a lot that ive never heard of and wanna play some day ^_^

Ohhh hello!! I think it depends on what you like in an rpg in general or what rpgs you played before and your priorities!

For me the main elements I want are characters and good story, but characters will always be first so I basically only play rpgs with companions. I also love romance but I tend to play only queer romances so I mainly play rpgs that allow me to play a wlw or mlm romance.

You can also check my series of useless recs and what to expect for different recs!

Let me know what kind of games you'd like to play and I can give some more personalized recs!

In general my absolute favorites are (divided in types)

ISOMETRIC (so a lot to read, and you look everything from above):

Pathfinder Kingmaker: amazing character, fav polyamorous romance with a lady elf and an orc guy, the story is okay and the mechanics are fine, but the characters really make it shine.

Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous: incredible customization of player character, great companions and romances, AMAZING story and villain. The mechanics and gameplay are like Kingmaker and not my favorite, but here they added turn based.

Pillars of Eternity (and sequel): amazing amazing story and very well created characters, the romances are not my favorite but I still love Tekehu!

Rogue Trader: this is set in a very bleak world where everyone is a villain so well, everyone is horrible. It is still quite a fun game if you do not mind the setting! And it has one of the most messed up romances ever (Marazhai)!

Shadowrun Hong Kong: I love the setting and the companion so much, but no romance.

Expediton Viking: Historical setting is not my favorite, but the game is still quite good and allows you do play as an usual companions rpg. It also has romanced!

DISCO ELYSIUM: I know I said I mainly play games with romances, and this has none, but everyone in the world should play Disco Elysium. One of the best isometric rpgs ever made.

Divinity Original Sin 2: If you liked BG3 maybe you will like this one too! The tone is much more humorous and absurdist, the story is quite good and the companions are amazing. The romances are also pretty good and as BG3 you can play as one of the companions.

ACTION RPG (is this even the name? Rpgs like Dragon Age and Baldur's Gate 3, so you can see the characters, and they speak)

Of course these need no introduction (but I put them in order of how much I love the companions and romances): Dragon Age 2, Dragon Age Origins, Baldur's Gate 3, Dragon Age Inquisition, Mass Effect Andromeda, Mass Effect trilogy.

Enderal: If you have Skyrim you can easily install Enderal for free, it is a mod but it is an indipendent game with its lore and characters. The only game that destroyed me and makes me cry when I think about it, so... play at your own risk. Amazing romances, incredible story.

The Technomancer: While the gameplay is a bit repetitive, the game is still pretty good! The characters are all interesting and the romance is kind of cute even if short.

OTHERS:

Sorcery!: This is an rpg that is basically the adaptation of a text game. It is absolutely perfect, one of my favorite games ever. It also has one of my favorite romances (Flanker)

Not exactly classic rpgs but still amazing: (I just wanted to recommend two of my favorite games that have roleplay elements):

Heaven's Vault

Dreamfall chapters (and the series in general)

[girlkissergideon]

does your orc lady want kisses :3

hello this ask is so cute !! fara live reaction

[askweisswolf]

WIP Wednesday

Got tagged by this by @ohmypawsandwhiskers, thank you so much! Figured I'd share some BG3 writing this time since for once I'm actually working on multiple WIPs and I've hinted at this one existing with my recent title joke post.

“You’d be shocked, actually, at what my Lady allows,” the other half-elf growled. “Not that I expect you to understand, blinded by the moon witch as you are.” “Oh, I understand plenty.” Isobel tilted her head, and her smile this time wasn’t slight, and it wasn’t particularly kind. “Just between us, I’m curious since you said that. Does the ranger with you know what Shar allows?” It was a low blow, and Isobel could see immediately that it had landed just as she had intended it to. She had eyes–she’d seen the subtle way the half-orc had positioned herself between them when she’d realized who Isobel worshiped, she’d seen the way the other cleric had bristled at her blessing. The Sharran was playing at love. In any other situation, Isobel would almost consider it cute.

Gonna tag @magicmissiled, @optiwashere, @foibles-fables, @vampiric-fangirl, @the-darkness-does-not-bargain and... well, anyone who sees this is free to participate. No pressure, of course!

[sorcerous-caress]

You've sucked me into the human kink, I have been bewitched <3 tmi but my new go to spank material is that I'm an adventuring party's precious lil cleric, especially in a group of butch warrior women. I offer full body ;) care and they reward me for my services with orgasms and protection.

With a stoic stone butch Half-Orc ranger serving as our leader, an older playful dwarven woman as our fighter, the party rogue is a surprisingly bashful tiefling, there's a mean hard dom drow lady who is our magical expert wizard, and a dragonborn Paladin of the same deity who can be especially protective.

After a very successful job we all rent a big room in a tavern and they all run a train on me..... okay I'll see myself out

Each time I try to write about cleric reader, i get flashbacks to playing squishy supports in moba games where the enemy runs a train on me under the turrent with my useless adc spamming "sup dif"

Maybe if our jungler wasn't busy sucking the mid off, then they'd have had a bit of time to disway the enemy jungler from blowing my guts. Idk what the top is doing honestly, they're in their own world half of the game. Who are they even fighting? The enemy top is right here under the turrent cucking my adc by wave stallling.

But anyway, cleric human let's go.

Imagine it was originally just you and one of them at the start. A new adventuring team, a half-orc ranger, and her precious human healer who tends to her every need and fawns over her every cut and scar.

The second you walked into that adventuring guild, you didn't even get to have a look around before this intimidation half-orc woman approched you. Her tusks were so big and sharp, het gaze sends chills down your spines and her biceps were easily the size of your head.

It was obvious you were a cleric from the way you dressed. The holy clothes, the innocent attire and the cute necklace with a symbol of your god on it. The spellbook you clutched to so adorably as if it will protect you from the dangers of the world outside.

The second she saw you enter, she knew the others here would be swarming you like flies. Everyone wants a healer but nobody wants to be the healer, everyone wants to be the hero of the story.

Not her tho, she never did this for the fame, glory, or gold. She truly was it in for the betterment of the world, no matter how much her own kind is viewed as evil and self serving, she did not care for what others think of her, she'll gladly crush their skulls with her bare hands.

So she tested you as she stood in front of you, not saying a word and watching your reaction closely. Will you run away from this scary half-orc with tears on your pretty cheeks and go hide behind the first human fighter you could spot?

But no. You didn't. Instead, you've only extended your hand to her with a friendly smile. Introducing yourself and asking for her own name. You also spoke normally, unlike how others, especially elves, tend to talk to her own kind with slow condcending words as if she was a brute who didn't understand basic language.

With her by your side, no one else dared to approach you in the guild hall. She walked you through the process of registering as an adventurer, making sure to explain everything you didn't understand and answer all of your questions. Clearly taking pride in showing off her intelligence as a high level ranger.

That's how the two of you met, and since that day she has been by your side. She was clever and knew how to win fights before they even started, a true warrior of the mind that could trick her enemies into walking straight into traps.

But even then, some fights she had to face head on and take the hits meant for you. She always made you her top priority to protect, even sometimes forsaking the mission for your own safety and carrying you away.

At night, the two of you sit around the fire. Her familiar companion cuddling into her side, with you in her arms as you doze off in the safety of her lap.

Then, eventually, someone else approaches the two of you in the guild after turning in a certain mission. A drow wizard with her expensive looking dress walking towards you with confidence.

Staring the two of you down, her confidence didn't falter even after meeting the half-orc eyes. But she did give a small smile towards you, reaching out and holding your chin in her fingers. Turning your face from side to side as she took in your features in great details.

Your half-orc companion got agitated at this strange woman thinking she had the right to just walk up to and touch you. Almost slapping her hand away, wasn't it for the drow pulling back her hand first.

Her next words, are her announcing the fact she is joining your party, human.

[seahagart]

in-game shadowheart has approval ratings for being nice to animals and children! and no spoilers but her good romance ending is LITERALLY cottagecore-esque so yeah step-mom shadowheart thats awkward at first but ulfir knows cares deeply for him, just shitty at expressing it because of shar’s indoctrination

Ughshshs that’s so cute, I can picture it now. Cottage, animals, giant orc lady coming home with dinner, Shadowheart finishing her Prater’s just in time, beautiful. I’m excited to see more of her story, and get to maybe make some siblings for Úlfur…. We will see hehehhe

[cilil]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Aaah thank you so much! What a fun one! Now let me pick a few...

The Elder King's Joys and Woes is a collection of Manwë-centric oneshots that I wrote for Manwë Week and am still quite proud of - especially the infamous 7th one that has made a lot of people (myself included) cry

Brothers In Spirit is a cute 5 + 1 piece featuring the brotherly bond between Námo and Irmo. I can't get enough of that dynamic

A little more warmth is, as I've recently learned, a dear friend's comfort fic and I can see why. Please don't take this as me bragging, it's just that this is one of the last fics I wrote together with my late dog and I suppose the love and comfort we felt in each other's presence bled into this silly and sweet tale of Gothmog taking Eönwë on a date

To Fan The Fire is a fic I'd be remiss not to mention. I'm still very fond of these two Orc ladies that were entrusted to me for this collaboration and love the story we came up with for them

Lastly, I'm contractually obligated to list Dead Heart, Still Beating, my currently ongoing long fic that is reaching slightly monstrous proportions in my notes. I'm having so much fun with it though, I'm not even mad

[dgtor-official]

Been obsessed with Legends and Lattes lately so have some generally cute orc ladies:

And their elf plus one:

[loksven83]

Here's a thought. A fantasy thought.

Ok, so y'all know what dryders are, yes? Well now this might just be me but wouldn't it be so cozy, comfy, and funny if bc these spider people are bigger than humans and generally can carry most humans with ease, I can just imagine sometimes they'd mistake normal ass sized humans for children and kinda just.. web them up and make a baby sling and kinda just.. adopt/carry them around?

Now I'm not suggesting kidnapping, however I am and can't stop thinking about how funny it would be for a big ass spider lady to see a shorter than average guy and just be like

"hmm, yes, a unattended child! I must pick up and carry them and care for them until I find the parents!"

And then just show off her find to her friends all

"sisters! Look at the child I have found! Aren't they cute? I do not know where the parents are, but we must look after them until then!"

All the whole the dude's just

"ma'am please I have a wife and kids they're just over there and this is a walmart-"

All while he's in a baby sling on her back or chest or smthn.

Or imagine a single dad Dryder with like, 6 kids and is so used to picking them up and carrying them around or something where he just has a gaggle of kids, so it's not surprising to him when he accidentally picks up a random lady like he would his kids.

On a similar note

I once saw a HC that orcs kinda do something where if there's a kid, they kinda just... Adopt it. Communally. Imagine if they did that and there's just like 5 normal ass humans in the local orc community and when another joins they all just kinda

"oh hey Greg, wandered off too far from your husband?"

"yeah, a big lady saw me looking for directions and kinda just.. adopted me?"

"heh, yeah that's auntie cha'ktu,"

Idk, shit like this makes me giggle.

[cadybear420]

If all the other Choices Books were tv shows/books in the HSS universe, which ones would Evie and Aiden watch/read together?

For the life of me I have never quite been able to make headcanons for these until now, let's fucking goooooo

(For the purpose of these headcanons, I'm going to assume all the TV/book versions of these stories use the MCs, LIs, and other choices that I used)

TCATF, it's basically canonically a TV series in the HSS universe itself with the MC's bedroom even having a poster of it. It would definitely be something Evie is very fond of, especially for characters like Kenna, Val, and Sei. Although it wouldn't be as big of a favorite to Evie as she gets older, she'd still hold it dear to her and she and Aiden would love watching it together as a comfort show.

ATV, the whole futuristic scifi vibe is something Evie would adore and they would also looooove the soundtrack. And Aiden would have a crush on Kepler.

The Phantom Agent, they both (Evie especially) love the secret agent genre, James Bond films included. And they would both rave so hard over the opening music. And they'd especially love a wlm take on James Bond adventures. They'd definitely try and roleplay the dynamics between MC and Nurse Lou + Alexis Reid hehe.

BOLAS, Evie would love the adventure. Also Aiden would have the biggest crush on Imtura (and f!orc!MC, but I'm probably gonna have multiple MCs that I love equally) and Evie would be like the biggest "Imtura is goals". IIRC BOLAS was confirmed to be an actual game/TV series in AME Book 3, so there's that.

DLS, for... many reasons. One, Aiden would go feral for that absolute cunt-serving opening theme. Two, "Hey the main leads kinda look like us". Three, "OMG cunty genderfucking bottom dude and a tough masc buff GNC top lady". Four, it would spark Aiden's interest in trying sheer tops for when he wants to dress a little more cunty/GNC. Five, "heehee pegging coded innuendos everywhere". For all these reasons they would 100% try to roleplay the steamy scenes, or at least the steamy scenes would definitely inspire Aiden to get a little more initiative/controlling in the bedroom with Evie. Like there's one scene where the MC can make Charlotte suck his nips and be more commanding to her and I can definitely see Aiden trying that too, especially when he notices how much Evie loves seeing it happen on screen. So needless to say, she would GREATLY enjoy it.

BaBu, Evie may have negative-infinity interest in becoming pregnant, but that doesn't mean she and Aiden can't enjoy a cute pregnancy story every now and then.

It Lives, Endless Summer, TH:M, MAH, They're my other top tier favorites along with HSS and so I think Evie and Aiden would love them too. They'd quite enjoy imagining themselves in those adventures. Although I feel I should discount TH:M because I've been liking the headcanon that my f!MC Otto is an estranged maternal Aunt to Evie. And MAH because I headcanon Evie and Aiden become neighbors to and befriend Tyler and my f!MC Peggy when they move temporarily to an apartment in SF a year after they marry.

[rpgchoices]

Happy Pride Month: A queer game a day - 1st June SALTING THE EARTH

I will try to recommend a queer videogame every day for pride month!! Just so you know I mainly play rpgs and some rare dating sim, the order will be random. Today's videogame is about wlw!! It is called "Salting the Earth" and it is full of intrigue, romance, world building, ORCS BUFF LADIES! It is set in an original and quite interesting and vaguely disquieting urban fantasy world. It is a dating sim, so only dialogue and choices for you. It has a LOT of world building, some secrets plots, three romance routes and other fling routes.

You play as Roo who is a pre-set protagonist (she is a Nymph who just joined into a new facility in an orc military zone, and she is a cook, so she works for the cafeteria of the place). It is a mature game with nsfw scenes, and it might have some triggering elements. All the characters are so cute and amazing, and there are SO MANY. As I said there are some secret routes and some interesting stuff on the world you can discover.

Here for you a bullet point list of what to expect from the game, in full detail: