#the only straight couple i like if you even care

[venusalexian]

solet • everything under control

barça femení x teen!reader in which the younger players are worried about a B team player and they make it Alexia’s problem, and you learn that maybe letting people care for you isn’t that bad

When Alexia finishes training, she’s looking forward to quickly showering and rushing home, where her newly-arrived-from-a-work-trip girlfriend and leftovers from dinner at her mami’s house the night before are waiting for her. Her plans are quickly derailed when she enters the locker room. In a corner, a group of the youngest members of the team are huddled, rapidly speaking over each other with concerned expressions. Yeah, she’d definitely have to do damage control before making it home.

Surprisingly, she does not even have to force one of them to confess to whatever mess they had got themselves into this time. Vicky, Jana, Kika and Sydney approach her themselves before she can move to their side.

“Hey Capi, do you have a minute?” Okay, now she really is worried. If Vicky is approaching her so bashfully, something must be really wrong.

“Always. What have you all done now?”

“Nothing! Honestly Ale, so rude to make that assumption.” Jana responds, exasperatedly.

“Okay, let’s focus here, please” redirects Kika quickly.

Alexia waits for one of them to continue, but they all seem suddenly nervous and out of words.

Unexpectedly, it is Sydney, the youngest and shiest of the group, who breaks the silence.

“Do you remember the 15-year-old girl from the B team? She was in the group that joined training on Saturday.” Alexia nods. Of course she does. After their Supercopa win, they had decided to have a joint training with the B team, looking to source for up-and-coming talents. At just a couple months away from turning 16, you had amazed her. You had a great eye for plays, reading the game perfect and providing key pass after key pass. A perfect midfielder, only still slightly too young to transition into the first team. She does not understand why her teammates are bringing you up now, though.

“Well, the girls got worried because she wasn’t there when they came to see our game this weekend.” Sydney continues. “And I told them that she has been more distracted lately and showing up late to training. Our coaching team is more angry than concerned and we all think something is going on but we have no idea what to do.”

“So, um, we were thinking you could use your position as captain to try to find out more from the club? Please, Ale?” Jana finishes Sydney’s speech.

Alexia loves to see that you have already made a mark on the other players, and she feels so proud that they are looking after a younger player like she does for them.

“Okay.” Alexia sighs. “I’m not sure how much I can do, but I’ll keep an eye on it and ask some questions. Now, all of you a la ducha. C’mon kids, you stink!” The younger players roll their eyes at Alexia’s remark, but smile at her promise. They know she means it.

When Saturday comes along, you are surprised to find so many first team players at your match, including all four captains. It makes you even more nervous for today’s game. You had left your home after making sure your grandparents were set for the day and the neighbor was staying around to keep an eye on them. You do not wanna disappoint your team for a second week straight. And you know that another absence would get you benched. You had fought hard for your starting spot during the past year, having to prove yourself twice as much due to your age. You couldn’t give it up now.

You stretch with your team try to ignore the presence of the older players. Once the game starts, though, it is just you and the game. You tune out the yelling from the stands, your worry for your grandparents and your exhaustion after your abuelo’s surgery last week had meant a couple nights of sleeping in uncomfortable hospital chairs and getting up extra early to go to school.

It is a great match, especially for you. Two goals and an assistance later, you are beaming as they declare you player of the game. You are so relieved that such a good performance would quiet the concerns over your commitment to the club in the last couple of weeks.

You rush to the locker room, wanting to make it home as soon as possible and help your grandparents with their evening routine. But before you can run out the grounds to catch the train, you feel a hand tapping your back. Sydney, one of the kindest members of your team, is smiling at you. You also really admire her and the work she had been doing with the first team.

”Hey, congrats on the goals and thanks for the assist! The girls from the first team were telling me to bring you over. You made a mark during the joint training and they wanna congratulate you too. Wanna come?” You cannot believe what you are hearing. You forget all about the train you’re supposed to catch and nod enthusiastically. “Ye-yeah, let’s go!”

She smiles at you and pushes you towards the exit. The girls are waiting around in the parking lot. Vicky and Jana are the first to approach you, as you had attached yourself more to them during the training due to your closer ages. The rest come behind them, and you try not to blush when the older players congratulate you. You probably fail. The conversation moves from talking about your game to their future duels.

By the time you realise, an hour has gone by and the chances of you making it on time for dinner are slim. Your realization must have shown in your face, as Alexia touches your arm and frowns at your expression. “All good?”

“Yeah, I just…” You are unsure whether to share your concern, why would she care? But something in the kindness she has shown during the conversation, asking for your input and making sure you felt integrated, and the openness in her expression when she asks, moves you to respond. “I was supposed to be home already, and I’m not sure when the next train that reaches my town passes.” You worry at your lip.

“Would it be okay if I drive you then? It’ll be faster.” You’re shocked at her offer.

“Ye-yeah, that would be great.”

“Good, I wouldn’t want your parents to worry.” You’re both too busy saying your goodbyes to realize your smile has faltered and the pointed glances that Alexia is receiving.

The drive to your home is mostly silent after you give Alexia your address. She is shocked at how far away from the city it is, and you’re uncomfortable at her realization of how much time you spend commuting to training using public transport. The silence is not necessarily awkward though. The soft radio music and the constant thrum of the car settle you into a warm comfort. You feel cared for by an adult, instead of being worried about them, for the first team in a while. Alexia breaks the silence mid-way though.

“What happened last weekend? You weren’t there.” She flinches at her own tactlessness, but isn’t willing to let it go.

You squirm, not sure how much you’re comfortable sharing. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry like this, you barely know me. The girls were worried though, so I asked your coaching team and they also didn’t know. Is everything okay?” It takes you a bit to take in her words. You feel warmth at the girls’ concern, but uncomfortable at the idea of people talking about you and trying to pry about your life. You’re used to doing everything yourself, and having other people involved is weird. Still, the kindness and concern are obvious in her voice and expression, so you decide to give a bit of information in the hopes that she will understand and leave it behind.

“Just some family things. All good though, it’s solved and I’m 110% committed to the team.”

“I never thought you weren’t. Just wanted to make sure you’ve got the support you need.” That leaves you silent again. You do, right? You don’t want to worry anyone because you don’t need it. You’ve got everything under control and things are okay.

“I do! Yeah.”

“Good, good.”

You return to silence for the rest of the drive, but both of you are stuck in the other's words.

When the car comes to a stop outside your home, you’re turning around to thank Alexia for the ride but she’s opening her own door and walking towards your door. The sight spurs you o, and you run to the door to reach her before she has a chance to ring the bell.

“You don’t have to come in!” Alexia raises an eyebrow.

“Thank you for driving me, it was so nice of you but I’m all good to go from here.” You quickly add. She frowns, and looks ready to contradict you but your conversation is interrupted by the door opening.

“Good, you’re here! I heard the car coming and was unsure but I’m glad you got someone to drive you instead of catching the train so late, mi vida.” Your grandma is smiling at you from the door, and you forget about your conversation with Alexia in favor of hugging her. When you, after a few seconds, come out of the hug, Alexia’s eyes are back to a soft expression.

“Both of you, in you go! Dinner is at the table ready.”

“Uh… Grandma, this is…”

“Oh, mi vida. I know perfectly well who she is considering how much you talk about her and her career.”

You’ve already blushed a lot today, but now surely you must be the reddest so far. Alexia practically coos at the statement, proud to be a good role model for young players like you, but she’s reluctant to take your grandma’s offer.

“Thank you for the invitation but I would not want to impose on your dinner.”

“Nonsense. It’ll take too long for you to get back to the city. Stay. Dinner is with your team’s rules on diet for mi nieta so I’m sure it’s suitable for you too.”

Alexia seems to be weighing her options. She doesn’t want to impose but she does want to get a better understanding of your situation so she can give a calming response to the girls.

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

As you all walk toward the living room, your grandma must notice your inquisitive looks and reluctance to ask.

“He’s all good, mi vida. We both had dinner an hour ago, and the neighbor came by to help me get him ready for bed. He’s sleeping now, don’t you worry.” You still feel guilty. You should have been here to help make dinner and make sure they took their meds and get them ready for bed.

“Now sit, both of you. I set another plate when I saw you came accompanied by car. I am gonna go to bed myself now. You both have a good night. And a safe trip back home for you Alexia.”

As she takes her leave up the stairs, the room is left silent until Alexia breaks it.

“Alright kid, let’s have dinner then.”

You’re on auto-pilot as you sit down at the table and start to eat, your mind still stuck on all the things you hadn’t been here for.

“So, are your parents out of town for the night?” You swallow audibly. You don’t like to talk about this, but you know she won’t let it go.

“No, um, no. It’s just us three.” You avoid her gaze, not wanting to see the usual look of pity you receive.

“Oh, I’m sorry, that sucks.” You can tell she’s flinching.

“It’s always been the three of us. I was a baby when they passed.” You shrug.

You dare look at her, and her expression surprises you. There’s still the pity you hate, but there’s also an understanding. Right, her dad. Your circumstances might be different, but she does know loss.

“So, um, you help around a lot then?”

“Ye-yeah.” You don’t want her to doubt your commitment to the club though. “But I make it work! I have a good grasp on my schedule and great discipline.”

“I don’t doubt it, you’re such a solet.” (good kid, but also literally little sun)

She smiles so kindly at you it overwhelms you. The conversation shifts to lighter topics, about your play style, both of your future games and even sharing small glimpses of each other’s lives. When you're done, she helps you clean up the table and dishes, it only takes a few minutes with her help.

“I’m gonna go home now, I don’t want my girlfriend to wait until late for me. Please tell your grandma thank you for the meal, it was delicious, and that you have a beautiful home.”

“Yeah, of course.” You smile easily now, her presence comforting.

“And you… you’re doing well. Believe it. But please also let yourself seek help when you need it. You’re not alone. Rely on your team and your coaches. You’re just a kid, let the adults take care of you, yeah?”

“Yeah. Yes, thank you again for driving me home.” You weren’t sure how much you could let go of the tight control you held in your life, but it felt nice to be told that you weren’t alone.

“Of course, my pleasure. I am happy to help. I’ll see you soon, yeah, solet?” 

And as you watch her drive out of your driveway, you cannot imagine how true that is.

~~~~~ an:

yay! thank you for reading!

first work uploaded. kinda nervous to get this out there but excited to start sharing my work. (please be nice to me)

I already have some ideas for this universe but I’ll be super happy to receive requests and asks about it, or any other universes you’d like to see from me :))

xoxo, a.c.

[pboogerswbb]

SO IT GOES - chapter 10

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual content (smut) Wordcount: 7.3K A/C: here we go you freaks (happy game day)

-

Before London

“Whaddup bro?”

“Hi- uh, why are you talking like that?” I ask, holding up the phone to see the familiar and comforting face of my brother, Kiran. 

“Whassup fam,” he grins in a horrible American accent, smirking smugly at his own joke. “I’m American now,” he laughs, forcing me to roll my eyes - nothing new.

“Quit. Please,” I groan, rubbing the bridge of my nose. A habit I had picked up from Paige, who did it every time she was getting fed up. 

“C’mon man, you’re no fun,” Kiran chuckles. “I’m trying to practice.”

“Practice for what?” I ask, confused. Kiran’s wide smile, almost identical to mine, is growing even bigger, revealing a row of straight white teeth.

“For when I’m flying over.”

I gasp, trying to look for any hint of a cruel joke or a prank on my brother’s face. He’s dead serious. 

“You got off work??” I ask in shock. Kiran nods, smiling excitedly, making me squeal. 

“Promise me you’re not joking!” I laugh, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. I had missed my baby brother so badly. I felt obnoxious with the way I was constantly speaking about him to everyone, to Trey, to Paige, to my other co-workers. But now, in only a matter of weeks, I would be able to see him face to face. Finally.

“I promise Izzie,” Kiran smiles. The only people in the world that called me Izzie were childhood friends, my family, and I suppose Paige.

I hadn’t told my brother about Paige, or what was going on between us. Whenever he brought the particular blonde up I just swiftly changed the topic of conversation, always hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush on my cheeks, the way the corners of my mouth twisted into a grin. And as observant and caring as my brother was, he was still a man. So of course he didn’t notice. 

“Oh my Gosh!! When?” I ask, my voice rising an octave as it always did when I felt excited.

“In a couple weeks. I’ll be there for the Storms game, can you get me tickets? Please?”

I chuckle nodding. “Of course Kiran.”

A devilish grin spreads across his lips as he falls into thought. “Can’t believe I’m gonna get to see Paige Bueckers. Phew.”

My face turns red, whether with annoyance, jealousy or disgust I’m not sure. I roll my green eyes again, scoffing. “She’s gay. Leave that poor girl alone.”

“You don’t know if she is.”

If he only knew.

“She’s gay, and you’re not about to embarrass me,” I say sternly.

Kiran groans, throwing his head back. “Speaking of embarrassment, bumped into Jasper the other day.”

My jaw clenches just hearing his name, immediate frustration growing inside me.

“God, what an asshole. What were you thinking getting engaged to that knob?”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “I wasn’t, pretty sure mom was thinking for me.”

“When is she not,” Kiran sighs when I hear a stern knock on my door. Strange, I wasn’t expecting anyone. The knock repeats, now louder and more desperate.

“Who is that?” My brother asks on the phone as I walk to the front door and look through the peephole. There she stands, 6 feet tall, rocking back and forth in a hoodie and basketball shorts, her blonde hair in a ponytail. Immediate butterflies release in my abdomen, fluttering everywhere making me feel giddy and warm.

“Uhh, I have to go. Let’s talk more tomorrow, yeah?” I say into the phone and hang up before my brother can even reply, opening the door for Paige.

The moment she sees me her mouth stretches into a charming smile, looking me up and down. I’m wearing white linen shorts and a matching button down, Paige’s eyes lingering on the bare skin of my thighs, my collarbone and right shoulder bare due to the lazy manner in which I had buttoned the shirt on my day off. The Dallas heat had forced me to adapt, to stop styling my hair since it would grow frizzy throughout the day, so I let it grow unruly (for my standards), allowing my natural waves to come through.

“Hey,” I hum, leaning against the doorway waiting to see what the blonde might need.

“Whatchu up to?” She asks with urgency.

“Nothing.”

“I’m boreeeeeed,” the younger girl whines, throwing her head back theatrically. “Let’s go on a road trip.”

I chuckle affectionately at her insane idea. “Paige I have work tomorrow love.”

The blonde’s blue eyes land on mine, making my heart skip a beat. “Iz I’m serious, I’m so bored I might die. Let’s go see the Big Bend.”

“Someone’s a little dramatic today.”

“Come with me. I’ll get you snacks,” Paige pleads, grabbing my smaller hand into hers, jolts rushing all throughout my body.

“Paige,” I warn her. “I have work tomorrow. Early. That’s like an eight hour drive.”

“Fine, somewhere else then. We’ll be back by… uh…” Paige checks her phone for the time. It’s three in the afternoon. “By nine. Or ten.”

“Paige!” I groan pulling my hand away. “We won’t even make it out of town. It makes no sense. Texas is too big. Maybe we can plan something for next week or something.”

Honestly, what stressed me out the most was that we hadn’t planned this.. That I had no idea what would happen, where we would even go. I was a planner. No discussion about it. I had always hated everything spontaneous, everything unsensible.

“Izzie, c’mon, trust me,” Paige’s voice softens, blue eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun like the surface of the ocean, lower lip pouting just a little. Something about her made me unsensible, made me want to do things that I knew weren’t smart, that made no sense. It was almost too easy for her to convince me.

“Please mama,” she coos almost silently and I nearly fall to my knees. No, not almost - it absolutely was far too easy for her to get me to cave.

“Where are we going? Do I need to pack? What do I need with me?”

Paige’s mouth twists into a glorious, winner’s smile. “Just bring a sweater it might get cold later, I’mma get us snacks on the way,” the girl says turning around. “I’ll meet you in the car!”

“Paige!” I yell after the blonde girl, making her stop in her tracks.

“What mama?”

“Back by ten okay?”

She smiles reassuringly. “I promise Iz.”

-

The soft hum of Paige’s Jeep is overtaken by the sound of r&b as we speed up on the highway, the blonde next to me singing quietly to herself. There was something exciting about the fact that neither of us knew where we were heading, just driving aimlessly towards the horizon, continuing as far as eyes could see. I pop another sour skittle into my mouth from the bag on my lap, Paige mindlessly reaching to my lap and doing the same, our fingers gracing as they touch. I immediately blush, chills running up my body just from the sheer momentary touch. 

“My bad,” Paige chuckles, her voice a little shaky as she pulls her hand back. I giggle and grab some of the skittles, offering them to the blonde. Instead of grabbing them, the girl opens her mouth. I hesitate for a second, but feed them to her, one by one, my finger brushing against her lip. I watch as she grins, lost in the memory of how she kissed me. The weight of her mouth on mine. I’d be lying if I didn’t miss it.

“You hot?”

“Huh?” I ask, feeling the heat rise from my abdomen up my neck to my cheeks.

“Your face is red as hell,” Paige laughs, glancing at me. Embarrassed, I cover my face, knowing the reason deep down wasn’t the heat. No, it was the way I had been eyeing Paige’s tan hand wrapped around the wheel, the other resting on her lap on her Louis Vuitton basketball shorts, veins popping and prominent, fingers looking long and strong. It was something about the humid heat, and the excitement of our little spontaneous getaway that had the butterflies in my stomach fluttering. 

“Whatchu hiding for?” She laughs, pulling my hand off my face.

“I must look ridiculous,” I groan, letting Paige’s big hand wrap around my dainty wrist with ease.

“You look cute when you get red like that,” the blonde murmurs, smiling to herself. I watch closely as she lowers both windows on her and my side to allow the breeze to come in and cool us down.

“Wait!! My hair!” I complain, quickly beginning to put the window back up. Paige pulls my hand away again, shaking her head. With the wind rushing in and cars speeding past, Paige has to yell over the noise.

“C’mon Iz just chill for one day,” she laughs. “You always look fine as hell. Let your hair down for once.”

With a sly smile I Ieave the window open, leaning towards the breeze and breathing it in. The wind plays in my hair, dark strands dancing wildly as we speed across the highway. The blonde girl beside me can’t keep her eyes on the road, blue eyes gazing at me with an affectionate smile. Ease begins to take over me, my never quiet mind finally beginning to slow down. A calm I hadn’t felt for years warms my chest, spreading across my body. It’s everything - the breeze in my hair, the smell of Paige lingering in the car, sandalwood and deodorant, her favourite songs playing, her presence beside me, the comforting certainty that no matter what I have a friend. Suddenly the car jerks, nearly swerving off the lane.

“Paige!” I gasp, snapping my hair towards her. A laugh spills from my mouth with ease. 

“Shit, my bad,” the girl chuckles, her eyes snapping back onto the road. “You in a good mood huh?”

I nod, leaning my head against the seat and gazing into her gorgeous, tanned face. “Yeah, my brother called. He’s flying to Dallas in a couple weeks.”

“Kiran?”

She remembered my brother's name? I had mentioned him by name maybe once. A little shocked, I nod. “Yeah, Kiran.”

The blonde smiles, veiny hands holding the wheel a little lazily. “That’s awesome, am I gonna meet him?”

“I don’t know, I mean he wants to come to a game.”

“Yeah, I wanna meet him for sure,” Paige murmurs. “You two similar?”

I chuckle, nodding. “He is also a big list maker, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I love your little lists.”

I feel my heart swell, butterflies fluttering deep in my abdomen. I’m distracted though by What You Heard by Sonder beginning to play. Paige is caught off guard too, memories of that night at Lala’s and Arike’s flashing back apparent on both our faces. Her grip tightens on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. But she lets it play, licking her plump lower lip as her face turns redder and redder.

“A lot of people find my list making annoying,” I mumble, remembering Jasper and the way he rolled his eyes whenever I took out my notebook and pen. 

“That’s crazy. I love that about you,” Paige answers mindlessly. I look at the girl for a while, finally realising I had never felt so easily accepted by someone, just as I am. I could be myself, I could be uptight and high strung, I could have my hair undone and be overwhelmed and she still accepted me. All of me. It was strange, new, safe.

“Paige?” I ask, my voice softening. She lowers the volume of the song and glances at me.

“Yeah Iz?”

I sigh softly, watching the blonde. “Thank you for being such a good friend.”

The genuineness and vulnerability in my voice make Paige’s cheeks flush red. I notice a slight quiver of her lower lip. 

The girl clears her throat, opening her mouth to speak and then thinking for a moment. “I thought I’d hate it in Dallas. Like I’d never get used to it, you know?”

I know. So I nod.

“But then I met you Iz, and you changed my mind about everything. The entire place.”

Her voice is soft and careful, even nervous. I watch as her right hand moves off her lap, inching to the center console and turning her palm upwards, knowing exactly what she meant. I’ve grown weak over the time I’ve known her, Paige’s gentle tone enough to make me fold. It wasn’t harmful, it wouldn’t lead to anything. So I reach over and place my hand on hers. Paige’s fingers lace perfectly with mine, the heat of her skin spreading like a careful, tender spark, tingling up my arm.

Paige takes a deep breath, the sound growing heavier and heavier as a response to the simple touch. “I don’t know Iz, the couple weeks we didn’t talk were hell. You’re the one thing that makes this place feel like home.”

-

It’s killing me. The way we’ve been holding hands for the past hours, just talking about everything. Our childhoods, our families, our first impressions of each other. Each time I had to pull my hand away the moment it returned to the center console Iz grabbed it quickly, as if eager to feel the warmth of my touch. I knew this was nearly crossing the line, but I could keep my emotions in control. I knew I could. I knew I could. After all, friends held hands all the time.

The smell of her perfume—pear and jasmine—was making me dizzy. Staring at the road became increasingly hard the further we drove, it becoming far too tempting to turn my eyes to the beautiful dark haired girl beside me.The sun begins to disappear behind a veil of dark clouds that roll in, a few drops of rain hitting the windshield of my jeep.

“Those clouds look dark,” Izzie murmurs, checking the time. It was early evening, our aimless drive having lasted for nearly four hours now. “Where even are we?”

I look around, watching the buildings around us. Must be some sort of nearby city. “I guess we oughta turn back,” I say, as the rain grows stronger, forcing me to turn on the windshield wipers.

Izzie looks around nervously, the drumming on the car roof becoming louder. Just as she opens her mouth, a downpour hammers down from the sky, streetlights blurring into golden smudges in the horizon. The windshield wipers struggle, not doing enough even on the fastest setting, making it impossible to see.

“Uh oh,” Izzie murmurs, chewing on her lower lips as her tension grows.

“Nahh, don’t worry. It’s gon pass soon,” I comfort the girl, reaching over to allow my fingertips to graze against her warm thigh gently. Her skin’s soft, goosebumps forming right underneath my touch. I pull the car over on the side of the street, watching as the people of the city scurry to hide from the storm underneath storefront canopies, rainwater pooling along the curb.

We wait—10 minutes, 15, half an hour. Nothing changes, everytime we think it’s about to pass, the downpour only grows louder. Nervously, I tap on the radio and turn the volume up, listening for any reports on the rain. Like clockwork, the radio program is interrupted.

“We interrupt this radio program for a weather warning. There is severe rainfall expected in the area, causing potentially dangerous driving conditions. We heavily encourage everyone to avoid driving until the following morning.”

The silence between me and Iz is deafening, the tension in the car rising abruptly. I could sense her anxiety bubbling right underneath her skin.

“Shit,” I murmur, sighing as I look at the girl next to me, staring blankly at the city. Then, she finally sighs and buries her face into her hands.

“I am so fucked,” she groans, chest heaving with stress. “What are we going to do Paige?”

“Hey,” I murmur and unbuckle my seatbelt to reach over the center console. My hand rubs Izzie’s back soothingly through the thin fabric of her linen button down. “I’mma figure it out, okay ma? I’ll find a hotel for us.”

“No, I got work tomorrow! I can’t just stay here!” Izzie groans. I knew this was her worst nightmare coming to life. For once I got her to be spontaneous, to let her guard down, and this happens. She’ll never let me take her anywhere anymore.

“Iz, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out. I can call someone up and tell em you can’t make it tomorrow.”

“No, you can’t call Linda. She can’t know you’re with me.”

“Okay, then you’ll call her up, just tell her you’re sick or sumn,” I say, trying desperately to find a solution. I never wanted to see her upset or stressed and couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt over the situation, despite it being out of my control.

Izara sighs, lifting her gaze from the palms of her hands. “What if she fires me?”

“Over one day off?” I laugh, but from Izzie’s face I can tell she doesn’t find it as amusing as I do. So I quickly straighten my face. “She won’t. Trust mama, you can take one day off.”

the dark haired girl sighs and looks at me, arched brows furrowed with worry. Without much thought I raise my hand to her cheek, stroking the skin with my thumb. She leans into my touch, exhaling shakily.

“I promise, Iz.”

-

The hotel room is much smaller than I’d hoped, the air smelling stale, the dust floating around making Izzie sneeze as she enters.

“Bless you,” I mumble, lowering the bag of toiletries we had bought in a momentary panic onto a single wooden desk. I look around at the faded yellow curtains and the double bed barely fitting in the room, white sheets covering it neatly. Iz leans down and smells the fabric, pausing for a moment.

“At least I think they’ve been washed,” she groans, taking her sandals of and flopping into the bed. I felt a little embarrassed not having found anything better for her. She deserved the world, if only I could give it to her.. Not this musty hotel room with a bed that would just about fit both of us for the night. I swear it was the only room left in the entire town.

“Iz I’m sorry I couldn-”

“Nonsense,” she stops me middle of the sentence with a simple raise of her hand, closing her eyes and rubbing her stomach. “I’m just happy to be in a bed after that meal.”

"You didn’t even eat that much," I scoff, walking over to the bed and flopping beside her.

"Yeah, how does one eat three double cheeseburgers?" She asks, amusement flickering in her eyes.

My mouth falls open in mock offense. “I’m an athlete, and tall, I gotta eat to keep these muscles.” I flex my arms, Izzie’s green eyes watching my bicep, a momentary flash of hungriness in her eyes before they snap to the ceiling.

“I don’t believe you haven’t had McDonald’s in like 10 years,” I mumble.

Izzie laughs. “My parents hated McDonald’s.”

“Your parents strict?” I ask. The girl chuckles and nods.

“Very. But it comes from a loving place. They just… always think they know what’s best for you, even better than you do,” Iz explains. “My mom’s still trying to get me to get back with Jasper.”

“Never get back together with that asshole,” I murmur, feeling protective over what she had told me back in Chicago.

“Trust me, I will not,” she says certainly, shifting a little. Our arms press together, tingling with electricity. My heart thrums in my chest as silence settles between us, the beating of my heart the only sound in my ears. My entire body buzzes as I come to the realisation that we’d be spending the night here, sharing a bed, the tight space forcing us to stay close. A month ago the idea of this would’ve driven me insane. But I knew now losing our friendship was much worse than losing the opportunity of having her body. I’d much rather bury my wildest thoughts deep inside and never let them show. Never let Izara see how badly my body ached for her, how she was the only thing in my mind every time I brought a girl home, how I closed my eyes and imagined their gasps and whimpers were her’s. She never had to know. As long as she was my friend I could live.

Yet I can’t help it when my middle finger jerks towards the soft skin of her hand, brushing against it gently. I feel the girl’s hand press closer to mine, her pinky mirroring my movements in soothing strokes. I swallow loudly, praying to God Izzie can’t hear the pounding of my heart the way I can as I gather my courage, carefully entangling my fingers with hers. 

I hear the way the dark haired girl’s breath hitches in her throat in response to my touch. We lie there for a while, side by side, staring at the ceiling, holding hands. The dust settling in the air made me want to cough, but I was afraid it might ruin the moment, or disturb Izzie, making her pull back. I want to turn my head to see the girl’s face. To try to read her mind, to figure out what she was thinking.

But then I feel her leg moving on the mattress, bare silky skin of her calf pressing into mine. My eyes flutter shut as I inch closer, feeling her leg wrap around mine, our feet touching. My mouth parts to gulp air in an attempt to calm down. It doesn’t work, my ears and face turning hot. 

“Paige?”

Izzie’s voice is trembling when it cuts through the silence. I try to gather myself enough to speak, her proximity driving me insane.

“Yeah?” I whisper, my voice weak and hoarse. The stretched out silence after only makes my heart beat faster, mind spin even more as I wait for the girl to answer.

“I’m gonna get in the shower.”

Suddenly Izzie is getting up, leg and hand untangling with mine as she disappears into the bathroom, leaving only the faint smell of pear and jasmine.

-

Pull yourself together. You’re a grown woman. You need to stop playing this cat and mouse game with this poor girl. It’s all I can tell myself as I stare into the mirror, my own reflection staring back at me. I tighten the white towel wrapped around my torso, splashing cold water onto my face. Letting my hair down from a clip, I allow it to fall over my shoulders, trying to clear my mind of Paige. But it killed me, knowing she was right outside that door, lying in bed in her sports bra and basketball shorts, waiting.

I pull my white linen set back on, rubbing at my stiff shoulders from the long drive and the turmoil in my mind. I felt like I was in a fight with myself, constantly debating between what made sense and what I really wanted. Honestly, the entire time I had known Paige it felt like that. Like I couldn’t come to an agreement with myself.

Stepping out of the bathroom I find the blonde slouching on the bed, flipping through TV channels and snacking on Tru Fru. Her gaze quickly lifts to me, lingering on my face. Still, I don’t think twice about not having make up on. Something about Paige made me feel confident in myself. Like I didn’t have to control the way she viewed me 24/7.

“Shower’s good,” I mumble, sitting on the edge of the bed. Paige throws the remote onto the blanket and sighs. 

“They don’t got any good channels,” she groans, pouting as the laugh track of whatever sitcom echoes through the tiny room. I chuckle, rubbing the muscles on my shoulder absentmindedly to ease the tension. Paige sits up, worried.

“Your shoulders hurt?” She asks. I nod with a low chuckle.

“When do they not.”

“Lie down,” the blonde commands carefully, patting the bed. I shake my head.

“No it’s okay love,” I murmur.

Paige pats the bed again. “C’mon Iz, let me help.”

I can’t resist the neediness of her voice, let alone the desperate look in her eye. If she only knew how wrapped around her finger I already was, despite acting like I would never be. So I lie down flat on my stomach, letting my shorts hike up to my upper thigh.

The blonde climbs on top of me, careful not to put all her weight on me as her fingers brush my dark, thick hair aside. Immediate goosebumps rise to my skin as she touches my neck.

“You wanna take this off ma?” She whispers carefully, tugging on my button down. I know she’s right, yet something about how intimate it felt makes my head spin. Wordlessly, with a shaky hand, I unbutton the shirt, each button a struggle. Paige helps me, pulling it off my body once it’s undone, leaving me only in a black lacy bra and the hiked up shorts. My heart pounds too loudly to hear Paige’s breathing growing heavier.

Gently, the girl's fingers dig into my muscles, starting off slow and gentle. Massaging away knots by my shoulder blades. Her hands work skillfully, increasing pressure before I could ask, like she knew exactly what I needed. I grow more and more relaxed, becoming unaware of the soft sighs spilling from my lips. Paige’s hands travel downwards, onto my lower back, big hands wrapping around my sides and kneading the muscles. I bite my lower lip trying not to moan, feeling myself growing wet at how perfectly my body fit into her skillful hands.

“Is this good?” Paige whispers, the sitcom still murmuring in the background. I barely hear it though, too ecstatic to be aware of anything but how good this feels.

“So good,” I coo softly, letting the blonde’s hands work my back. She hisses, clearly pleased with the praise.

“You need to learn to relax ma,” she sighs, her fingertips carefully sliding beneath the strap of my bra to massage there. “Told you I could get you to relax.”

“Feel so relaxed,” I murmur half asleep. “You’re so good.”

The blonde groans, but I don’t hear it, my eyes growing heavy as my body melts underneath Paige. I lose awareness of everything around me, drifting into a restful sleep.

-

I lie next to the sleeping girl, lazily stroking her back, my hand tracing along her spine as the sitcom grows more interesting the longer I watch. I couldn’t bring myself to wake Izzie, so after she fell asleep, I turned off the lights and tucked her in, though the blankets were hardly necessary in the heat of Dallas.

I glance down at Iz, her mouth slightly parted, heavy breathing turning into quiet snores at times, long dark eyelashes resting against her cheeks as her face pressed into the pillow. She had never looked so beautiful, her guard fully down, the arch of her brows softened in her sleep. 

I inch lower on the bed, turning to my side, blue eyes roaming her face. Her sharp nose, plump lips, round chin. Her skin that had gotten darker in the sun, making her even more gorgeous than before if possible. I was utterly, completely obsessed with everything about her. If she only knew. She’s perfect.

I lift my hand off her body, careful not to disturb her. She stirs slightly, a contented hum escaping from her lips. Izzie’s brows furrow the slightest bit, as she lets out a barely audible moan. Her lips part further in a quiet whimper as she stirs yet again, legs shifting underneath the blanket.

I watch closely, concerned, considering waking her up. Maybe she’s having a nightmare. As I’m about to place my hand on her arm I hear it. My name. Or I think I do.

“Paige…” she murmurs against her arm, shifting a little yet again. The sleeping girl moans again, now the sound much clearer. “Paige…”

My heart nearly stops, breath hitching in my throat as I realize she’s not just stirring—she’s pressing her thighs together under the blanket. She's not having a nightmare, no, not at all.

My breathing grows heavy as I watch the girl’s cheeks flush red in the dim light coming in through the window, Izzie’s mouth falls open as she lets out a soft whimper, flipping onto her back sleepily. My need to touch her that had been killing me all day suddenly grows large enough to make me groan, my hand coming to rub my face as if to distract from my thoughts. It doesn’t help that as she flips over her full, round breasts are on display, sitting pretty in the black lace bra.

Suddenly the girl stirs again and her eyes flutter open, too quickly for me to turn away. 

“P-Paige?” she whispers with a shaky voice before turning her head to me, just inches from mine.

“I’m right here ma,” I mumble, feeling my boxers growing wet.

Her tired green eyes find mine, a shaky breath spilling from between her lips. My tongue darts out to wet my lower lip, eyes fluttering all over her flushed face. “You fell asleep,” I coo.

Izara’s eyes are locked into my own, as she comes out of her tired confusion. “I…” She murmurs, her long lashes fluttering against her cheek. Then, her hand comes to my face, brushing off a strand of hair, touch tickling on my skin. And I can’t take it anymore.

I lean over and my lips press into hers, mouth opening in desperation. Izara’s mouth parts as quickly as mine, both of us moaning as our lips glide together, swollen and slick. I feel breathless, pulling back to catch my breath but Izzie’s hands are already pulling me back in, a hopeless whine coming out of the girl.

“Please don’t stop,” she whimpers, making my mind spin. My perfect girl, who I had been aching for since I met her, begging me not to stop. 

“Won’t ever stop unless you want me to,” I groan into her mouth, tongue clashing into hers. There’s a struggle for dominance, which she quickly gives up when my hand lands on the warm skin of her waist, squeezing.

I’m taken by surprise when Izara pushes me to my back, climbing on top of me without ever breaking the kiss. I moan embarrassingly loud, my hands roaming up and down her back, toying with her bra clasp.

“Let me take it off, please Iz,” I murmur against her lips. I had been imagining what she looked like completely topless since the moment I met her. I needed to see her, now. 

Izzie chuckles gently and sits up on top of me, pulling away from the kiss making me wince. 

“Then take it off,” she says, gazing down at me. I look up at her in desperation, shaky hands working the clasp until it pops open. The straps fall off her shoulders, and gently I pull the bra off, revealing her perfect, round breasts, groaning loudly at the sight.

“Oh shit,” I moan, watching the way her puffy nipples harden as I touch her side. My hand travels to the back of her head, and I pull the girl down, kissing her neck desperately.

“Paige…” Iz murmurs, grinding her hips into mine. My nose nuzzles into her ear, kissing it sloppily before returning to her neck, careful not to leave marks.

“Say that shit again,” I whimper. “Say my name.”

“Paige,” Izzie moans. My hands on the girl's waist maneuver her so I’m face to face with her breasts, mouth wide open as I kiss them. The moment I latch onto her nipple, a loud gasp escapes her lips. “Oh fuck.”

“Perfect tits, all for me,” I mumble, tongue circling her hardened nipple before sucking. Izara whimpers again, body yielding to me. Tenderly, I flip her onto her back, leaving a small red mark on her left breast, fitting into my large hand perfectly.

Izzie arches her back as I pull back to really look at her, to take in the moment that I’d been dying for. My chest heaves, my mind struggling to wrap around what was happening. I didn't dare to miss a moment, a twitch of a muscle, a single soft sigh. I needed to savour all of it. I run my hand from the girl’s face downwards, gently caressing her breast and ribs and lower stomach, eyes blown black with lust.

“Paige,” Izzie hums, eyes fluttering open. Her pupils are barely green anymore, filled with need and desperation.

“Iz,” I whisper, leaning down to kiss her gently, trying to show her how badly I needed this. How beautiful she was, how much I wanted to please her. How badly my core ached for her.

“Please,” she whimpers into the kiss, bucking her hips. 

“Shh, it’s okay mama,” I answer, beginning to kiss her neck. “You’ll get it. Need to take my time.”

A desperate whine escapes Izara’s mouth, her hands coming to my shoulders. “No, now.”

The sternness in her voice takes me by surprise, sending a shiver down my spine. 

“Oh she bossy huh?” I grin, pulling back to see the girl’s face. It’s just as stern as her voice, her fingers weaving into my hair and yanking just enough to force me to let out a moan.

“Now,” she repeats, hands pushing me. I immediately melt, my boxers growing wetter as I’m pushed down her body. My nose nuzzles against her abdomen, fingers eagerly coming to the band of her shorts. She wants it now? I’ll give it to her now. I’ll do anything for her, anything to make her happy.

Suddenly I feel desperate too, tugging her shorts and underwear off at once. Izzie moans, feeling the air hit her core, glistening in the dim lighting from how wet she is. My mouth immediately begins to water.

I lower myself between her legs, breath tingling against her skin. “Are you sure, Iz?” I ask carefully, wrapping my arms around her thighs.

Izzie whines and arches her back, looking down at me. “Yes, Paige, now. Please.”

I don’t hesitate, diving straight in. My tongue darts out licking along her slit, tasting her. Really tasting her. It’s heaven. She tastes better than I could have ever imagined. My eyes immediately roll back, overwhelmed by her. “Oh my God…” I groan into her clit, beginning to work her with all the skills I had in the world. It felt as if my entire life had led to this moment.

“Ohhh… baby,” Izzie whimpers, voice shaking and hands grabbing a hold of my hair. It’s the most beautiful sound in the world. I moan again, feeling like I might cum untouched by the time I’m done with her.

-

Paige’s mouth is wrapped around my clit, sucking and licking through my folds. I swear in only a few minutes of her working me I could feel my core pulsing and dripping, the blonde getting me close faster than I even knew was possible. I was a mess, eyes teary, loud moans filling the room, hips squirming and Paige following with ease. I look down and watch the blonde, who’s whimpering and moaning as if she’s the one getting off.

“Paige, baby…” I cry out, pulling on her blonde hair. 

“Tell me…” she gasps between licks. “Tell me how good it feels.”

It felt downright filthy, the way we spoke to each other, the way we wanted each other. I had never experienced it before.

“Feels so good my love,” I moan, my back arching as her tongue lies flat on my clit, moving in a sloppy circle. “You make me feel so fucking good.”

Paige moans, reaching up to knead my breast, my hard nipple pressing against her palm as she keeps up with her pace, the knot deep in my tummy tightening and tightening.

“Izara you taste so good,” she hums against me. “Never gonna get enough. This pussy’s perfect.”

Her filthy words ignite something within me, my climax beginning to roam over my body. 

“P-Paige, don’t stop. Please don’t stop,” I whimper desperately, my voice turning high pitched.

“Fuck, you already close?” She asks shocked, but continues the sloppy, skilled movements of her mouth. I nod desperately, gasping for air as Paige pins me to the mattress, face glistening with my wetness.

“Mhm, don’t stop. Don’t stop. Fuck, I-”

“I gotchu beautiful, c’mon baby. Lemme make you feel good,” Paige coos.

“P-Paige!” I gasp, the knot in my stomach snapping as I pull her even closer into my pussy, her moans getting muffled against my folds. My back arches and the whimpers get louder as jolts of pleasure wash over me like waves,  body trembling badly. I feel ecstatic, completely out of it. I had never felt pleasure like this before.

She keeps eating me through my climax, my hands pulling her back by her hair once the sensation becomes too much. The blonde lifts her head, looking completely fucked out, lids heavy and a dopey grin on her face, my wetness dripping down her chin.

“I’m never getting sick of that,” Paige says breathlessly, licking her chin clean of me. I blush covering my face in embarrassment of what just happened.

“Come here,” I giggle but the blonde shakes her head. 

“Lemme clean you up first. You made a mess,” she smirks, leaning back down and beginning to gently, carefully licking every inch of my sensitive, dripping cunt. My eyes roll back immediately, hand grabbing the sheets, the cotton soft under my sticky back.

“Paige, I’m already done,” I chuckle, pushing her off lightheartedly. But she grabs my hands and pins them against the mattress, lifting her face.

“Only once?” She asks, which surprises me. To finish twice felt selfish. I was lucky if I finished once in my previous relationship.

“Baby you don’t need to, it felt so good.”

Paige chuckles, coming back up from between my legs and kissing me sloppily. Her tongue slips into my mouth, forcing me to taste myself. It’s dirty, making that fire deep inside me ignite again. Suddenly I wanted more of her. Paige can tell, reading my body with ease.

“Need to fuck you again,” she whines, hand squeezing my thigh. “Please mama.”

The whine of her voice, the way she’s begging drives me insane. So I nod, chasing her gaze. “Fuck me Paige.”

Without a warning, Paige’s finger slides inside me, the sudden intrusion making me gasp. Paige grins satisfied, breathing shakily. 

“How is this pussy so tight,” the blonde groans, struggling to fit in a second finger. My body molds around her, eyes rolling back from the stretch. 

“Oh fuck,” I moan, feeling her fingers curling against the spongey tissue inside me, finding the perfect spot with incredible ease. My hand goes to Paige’s shorts, tugging on them desperately. “Take these off.”

“Shit,” the girl hisses at my command, pulling them down with her free hand. There’s a visible wet spot on her grey boxers, making my core pulse around her fingers. The blonde pulls the boxers off too, and I watch as she presses her dripping cunt onto my thigh.

We both moan at the contact, the air thick with the sound of our joint gasps and the squelching sound of her strong, skilled fingers buried inside me. It doesn’t take long for both of our bodies to be trembling with pleasure, Paige’s blue eyes locked with mine as she grinds her clit against the soft skin of my thigh. 

“Wanted this for so long,” the blonde moans, brows furrowed in deep pleasure. I nod, agreeing and gasping for air as the pace of her fingers speeds up.

“Me too baby,” I whimper. “You fuck me so good Paige.” It was so unlike me to be saying these things, but it’s something in her that got me to do new things. To find an ease.

Paige moans in response to my words, her head lulling as her eyes squeeze shut in ecstasy.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful girl in the world I swear,” she hums, grinding on me faster, more sloppy. “You know that?”

I moan, Paige’s fingers beginning to pump into me at an incredible pace, my entire body beginning to burn up. I feel my pussy throbbing around her fingers, squeezing her. The blonde feels it too, her jaw falling slack.

“Perfect girl with a perfect pussy.”

My eyes roll back at these words, feeling my orgasm begin to take over. However, Paige’s hand grabs my jaw, my eyes opening from the contact. 

“No, Izzie, keep those eyes on me. Wanna look at you- fuck,” she moans for a moment, unable to speak from how close she’s getting. “Need to look into your eyes when I cum.”

No one has even made me feel like this, this ecstatic. No one has ever been so good to me. Made me feel this heavenly. No one’s ever said these things to me. Looked at me like this. It’s borderline overwhelming. 

As Paige adds a third finger and pushes it inside me, my moans turn high pitched and desperate. The stretch is overwhelming but I keep my eyes open on the blonde’s scrunched up face.

“Shii- Tell me you’re- fuck, please tell me you’re close baby,” Paige moans, the movement of her hips turning frantic, fingers curling against me with force. My body tightens around her fingers, body writhing in pleasure. The climax right around the corner, coming on even stronger than the first one.

“I’m- I’m close,” I cry out as Paige’s thumb presses into my clit with every pump of her fingers.

“Oh sh- Iz- Izzie, you feel so good,” the blonde gasps, rambling as her orgasm approaches.

“Paige,” I whine.

“Look at me. Look at me Izzie.”

My eyes lock onto her face as my climax washes over me a million times more intense than the first time around. My back arches off the bed and eyes involuntarily roll back. The sight sets Paige off, her eyes locked on my face as she comes with me, rambling in a daze, something I can’t even hear over how loud my own moans are.

The girl collapses on top of me, making me wince as she pulls her fingers out of me. Paige’s skin sticks to mine, her nose nuzzling against my cheek. My eyes flutter open, watching the blonde girl’s face resting on the pillow next to me.

“Hey,” Paige murmurs, leaning over and kissing my forehead. It makes my chest flutter.

“Hey,” I copy the girl, smiling gently. A bright smile spreads to her face.

“That was…” Paige starts, shaking her head.

“Amazing,” I finish her sentence, giggling a little. Truthfully no words could describe how good that felt. How euphoric it was. However, as the silence settles, I can see a hint of hesitation on the blonde’s face. I suppose this changes everything, I knew it did. Worst of all I had come to a realisation that would flip everything on its head.

“Paige,” I whisper, chasing her gaze. The girl’s blue eyes meet mine, expectant.

“Yeah?”

I take a deep breath. “I don’t think I can be just friends with you.”

-

taglist: @wbbgetsmewetter @thaatdigitaldiary @bueckersfive @lupinqs @sierrale8ne @d3arapril @avvwritesstufff @rosemariiaa @bueckers22 @taylynbueckers44 @unadulteratedcyclepaper @rizzlerbuckets @wosolipa @bridgetloveswomen @paiges-1vur @slut4uconnwbb @xxloveralways14 @bueckersbitch @janaelalfysblunt @omg-imtumbling @angryflowerwitch @ohbueckers @ohmybueckers @potatobears-world @st4yyyy

[midnight-bay-if]

(Sorry if I sent this ask twice I wasn’t sure if I sent it in or not and if I did I’m currently gaslighting myself that I didn’t lol)

Anyways!

How would the ROs react (both crushing and dating) to a MC looking bittersweetly at someone else getting flowers. And when they ask what’s wrong, MC says that no one has ever gotten them flowers before.

(It's okay, anon. You did already send it in, but I don't mind :) Also, I know you said both crushing and dating stages, but I chose which stage would be most interesting for each RO. Hope this is okay!)

S (crushing): Their tongue is running away from their head--sometimes, after a chaotic morning of wrangling Taj and Rain, they need to vent, and you have always been a sympathetic ear. "Taj has an unfortunate tendency to pester Rain after being forced out of bed--" They stop, recognising your attention has deviated, no longer nodding along with them. They follow your eyes to a nearby couple exchanging flowers with bright expressions.

"They are pretty," Selby probes gently.

"Nobody has ever bought me flowers before."

Well, that certainly will not do. "Excuse me a moment."

You watch as they turn on their heel and jog toward the flower shop the couple just exited. Your eyes widen when they return with the largest bouquet of deep red roses you have ever seen. "Forgive my tardiness," they say, bending forward in a bow as they hand them to you. "I hope you do not consider this too presumptuous, but you have only expedited my plans, not defined them; I will surprise you with the next."

Rain (crushing): You whispered the confession after a long night of binge-watching old soap operas together on the couch. A man courting his neighbour knocks on her door with flowers bought from the local corner shop. You sigh wistfully, bemoaning the lack of flowers in your own life. Rain's heart thuds and they realise this is something they wish to rectify. But here, it is viewed as a largely romantic gesture... would you even want to receive flowers from them?

The next day, Rain waits for you to return to your apartment with bated breath. After spending the day wandering the town for the most beautiful wildflowers, they came home and began to weave. As you open the door, they hold up a carefully crafted flower crown with flowers of your favourite colours.

"I-I know it's not the same, but... I hope you like it."

Taj (dating): Taj scoffs as you pass the sickly, sweet couple; their nose twinges when the pollen from the flowers they exchange crawls up them, the scent enough to make them cringe. They turn to you, ready with a harsh word to ridicule them, when they catch you glancing forlornly back at them as you pass.

"What's wrong with you?" They ask testily.

"Oh, nothing; nobody has bought me flowers before."

Taj scowls. Their instinct is to ask why you would care; flowers die quickly when cut. Any manipulator could walk into a gas station, pick up a cheap bouquet of flowers, and be in their lover's good books for a week. But, for once, they keep their mouth closed. Even if it's not something they understand, your face tells them it would make you happy.

But rather than waste their money on dying flowers, they think of the next best thing. For two nights straight, they stay up, folding coloured pieces of card, book open in their lap as they create the perfect undying bouquet. They slice their finger more than once, cussing out the air as they perfectly align their origami flowers.

When you come home, they present your paper flowers, cheeks burning, and fingers covered in plasters. "I will never fold another piece of paper again."

N (dating): N used to scoff at the demons that made such obvious romantic overtures with their victims. That's what they were, after all. Victims. There's absolutely no way these demons felt genuine affection for these people. Their grand gestures were simply traps to ensure the continued cooperation of the human. Demons were incapable of love.

Which does nothing to explain their continued loitering in your life. Their reason for finding you ceased to be an issue quite some time ago. Sure, perhaps your mental entanglements have them on a leash somewhat, but they would be lying if they said it is impossible to snap such a tether. They could seek a way if they wished.

When you so longingly stare at a couple exchanging flowers with obvious envy... It doesn't displease them to think you may share such a glance with them.

N thinks on all the grand gestures they have witnessed in their time, and as usual, they do not wish to settle for second best.

You return to your apartment after a few hours away, a strong floral scent hitting you as soon as you open the door. The floor is lit up with a line of candles, deep red petals scattered between them. You follow the trail across your apartment to your bedroom door. You push it ajar, light spilling in, the scent growing stronger. N lounges on your bed, a rose pinched between their forefinger and thumb, large rose bushes of every colour filling the room.

"I hope these are to your liking, my dear."

Umbra (crushing): Umbra prefers walking when the sky is grey. The overcast weather may accentuate their pale skin, but they always feel it suits them more. Nothing could detract from your shine, but their shadows are vast and looming... the larger your light, the greater the shadow they cast. So, they were grateful you suggested window shopping while the weather was dull.

A moment for you and them.

You pass a flower shop, your eyes drawn to its interior as if magnetised. A couple exits as you step up to the glass. A woman stares down happily at the bouquet in her hands, and Umbra thinks their heart might be harder if it were capable. They turn to you, hoping to share in the blissful moment, but your eyes appear sad.

"What's wrong?"

"Nobody has given me flowers before."

Umbra gasps, and their brow furrows. This is not okay. This needs to be fixed.

Without hesitation, Umbra turns on their heel and storms towards the couple, manoeuvres in front of them and snatches the flowers out of the woman's hand. Then, without a word, runs towards you, waving the bouquet in the air with a massive grin.

"MC! I got you flowers!"

(I'm not gonna lie... I cracked myself up with this one.)

[keelt9]

Chapter 3

Masterlist

A/N: Schedule back to normal 😉

Learning through small notes.

We heard that if you write things in small notes it helps you to remember and it could be a helpful tactic of studying, that’s exactly the way they learn about each other.

“Are you smiling?” Joe blinks, raising his head clearing his throat.

The beginning of the OTAS is a couple of days ahead, still he's been immersed in all the things he can, talking and training with his teammates, letting them know he's ready to go. Also taking his free time with family and friends before being completely absorbed.

“No…I mean, yes, I'm pretty excited, that's all.” Joe tries to cover the small blue note but Ja’Marr nods while sitting in front of him.

In a blink of an eye he takes the small note from his hands and sees it. He chuckles, glancing at the red face of his friend in front of him. “A cube of ice?” 

Joe takes it back, unable to stop a smirk, seeing the cute draw of an ice cube shivering that has an onomatopoeia with the expression of <Brrr.>

“That girl huh?” Chase knows about the notes, they talk to each other through them and the fact any of them has plans to meet each other in person, soon.

“I told her one of the nicknames.” Joe found the note and the least thing he expected was the small drawing on it.

“Right.” He sat with his arms over the table. “You don't even think it's time to meet her? Like face to face.” 

Of course Joe is thinking about that but he quits at the next second, he believes this comfort and joy could be lost the second she sees him.

He found a friend that, even though she doesn't know who actually is, takes her time to write every morning to remind him to take care of himself.

Joe clicks his tongue folding the note before ordering their dinner. “She's great, that's all it matters to me.”

And it is, the way she expresses writing or drawing he just feels it, and come one, having a dog with such a cheerful mood and health it’s only more things in her favor.

“Right?” Joe asked as he threw the black frisbee.

Monet is growing chippier and happy, the puppy he met you can always find him in those black eyes but now in a bigger body and strong body. 

Monet grabs it in the air, landing with elegance on the floor running back to Joe; he pats his head after he leaves the frisbee in his hands.

“Good job.” Joe sits on the bench. “What do you think? Is it right to meet her? You know, find your owner.” 

If Joe had his eyes on him, Joe could have noticed Monet's head went straight when he mentioned her, by the time he mentioned find, Monet takes his cap running with it.

Joe believes he's just playing around until Monet keeps running far and far away.

“Ok, ok, I got it, it's a no.” Joe says when Monet stops next to a tree still a little bit far away from his hand. “Come on boy, give me that.”

Monet runs back when Joe approaches him, every time.

The gasps with the sound of paws against the rocks makes Y/N turn around, finding Monet with a black cap on his snout.

She turns around leaving the notebook on the bench, with just a few lines of the trees and the small leaves growing up in a beautiful green.

“Oh no.” Monet puts the cap next to her before taking a few sips of water from the small bowl next to her. 

Y/N grabs the cap and shakes her head. “Who?” 

Monet has this way of asking things if you’re distracted, taking something you're using before running and leaving it next to the things he wants.

“Monet!” A male voice draws her attention. “Come on buddy! I get it!”

Y/N looks at Monet who barely moves, just puts his eyes on her moving his tail. 

“Mon…” A blonde guy appears in the path wearing a pink hoodie and black pants. 

Y/N stands grabbing the hat, not before giving Monet quash eyes, he couldn't care less.

“This is yours?” Y/N extends the cap as they approach each other.

His eyes call for his attention, he has clear blue eyes.

“Yeah, thanks I'm sorry, we were playing and well…” The man takes it. “Thanks.”

She pressed her lips together. “I'm sorry Monet from time to time is a little bit naughty, just like when he was a baby.”

Joe nods, taking his cap, making his brain catch the last word. “Wait, baby?” Y/N nods. “Are you his owner?”

The fact he blinks multiple times after the second nod makes her smirk.

“I'm JB.” He's her note pawl.

She knew a long time ago, he's not a kid or a teenager, which she never expected… is a man, like the one she had in front of her eyes. 

“Oh.” Y/N shutter before speaking, moving her head one side to the other, confused and perplexed. “Am, I'm Y/N, Monet’s owner.”

The blue eyes hide when he smiles; she could swear she already has seen that tone of blue. Maybe in one of her works, or the sky but no, they’re similar but not the same.

Her phone ringing set the time to go, time to work. She turns it down, seeing Monet starts to look out for his leash. 

“Sorry, mmm, I have work to do and…” Turns around packing her things. “But it's been a pleasure, really.”

Y/N puts the blue leash on Monet collar, by the time her eyes land his wrist she remembers he mentioned he's been through a bad injury.

So, she started to search for something in her bag. “Here.” 

A warm hot pad, she didn't realise when or why she bought it, but by the moment she arrives home with a couple of hot pads knows who it will belong to.

Joe looks utterly surprised for the way he carefully grabs it and smirks. “Put in the microwave and just relax your wrist over it and that's all.”

Y/N smiles. “Muscles relax.”

“Sounds easy.” Joe giggles.

“And it is really helpful.” Y/N closes her bag ready to go. “And before I forget, Monet won't come for a week.”

He raises his eyes right to hers. “He has an appointment with his vet, am, he will be neutered, prevent before regret.” 

Monet barks, making her giggle. “I know, you're already cursing me for that.” 

“Is he going to be ok?” Joe asked with concerned eyes.

“Yeah, don't worry, it's a simple process, by the end of the next week, he will be back.” Y/N pats his head.

“Can I help you with something?” The word of Ja’Marr about sounds expensive starts to hit him one more time.

Y/N shakes her head. “Just be here to keep playing with my dog.”

“Count with that.” Y/N chuckles before finally leaving.

“Bye JB.” Joe waves his hands before rubbing Monet's head.

“See you soon buddy.” The reaction of Money for licking his hand softly as the fact he didn't wipe was enough to move something in her heart.

That night, laying in her bed with Monet beds at her side breathing in peacefully, that memory brings a soft smile on her face before sleep.

“Rewind, one thing at the time.” Savannah said for Y/N repeated the details about how JB looks, typing in her phone.

She tells her everything she could remember trying to not miss any detail; the physical thing Savannah got it, still the fact she describes his laugh with a soft smile on her face, that makes her suspect. 

After she ends, Savannah raises her phone fearing her answer. “Is he?” 

“Yeah!” She walks with her until the door of her house. “You're good.”

Y/N sees the quivering in her nod making her narrow her eyes, there is something else.

“You already know him.” Savannah sometimes hates how easily Y/N reads her.

“Well, a lot of people know him.” Savannah takes her scarf hanging in it next to the door. “Nora, I'm here!”

Nora goes down running to the kitchen without expecting there will be already eyes on her arrival.

“You're kidding!”

Nora gulps when she sees Y/N turning around looking at her with a puzzled face. 

Joe was simply speechless when he saw her, just a second peer at her, combined with the word baby, and the fact she has a bandanna over her head, avoiding her hair falling over her face.

He ran out of words.

It was until she mentioned the vet thing that Chase words back hunting him and his lack of help.  Still she only asks that keep playing with her dog. 

By the time she gets lost among the trees he smirks seeing the hot pad in his hands. A warm touch.

Just like she said Monet didn't come for a week, but the next morning after his week off Monet goes a little bit slower than usual but happy and healthier.

“Hey!” Joe pats his head but Monet carefully takes things slowly. “Easy boy, easy, you just get through an important process.”

Monet laid down slowly, but clearly disturbed for the cone around his neck. “Let me see what you bring.”

Nothing around his collar, searching inside of his cone it’s kind of silly still he did it and he found nothing.

“Did it fall?” Monet gasps but he just laid down observing the blue sky.

No, it definitely doesn't.

It's been two weeks since any notes came along with Monet, Joe tried to go where Y/N is but every time he changes his mind at the last minute walking back to the bench where Monet refuses to walk away.

It seems for him it's also a bad idea.

“Joe! Easy man, it's training.” Yoshi claims after Joe throws a dime with more strength than usual making him almost lose his breath.

“Sorry, sorry.” Yoshi observes Joe one more time. It's weird he lost his focus in the middle of the practice. But, today, it's the third time since OTAS begins that Joe leaves breathless to more than one guy.

Yoshi like the others let it pass, probably fully focused on and thrilled for the season begins.

By the time the day ends Joe found Ja'Marr in the locker room, he isn't practicing but takes his time to be around the guys.

“Yoshi told me you left him breathless.” Chase couldn't avoid giggling when he told him in detail the dime rich to his stomach.

Joe scoffs but barely smiles. “I got distracted.”

“Spotted girl problems?” Joe bluffs, closing his locker giving him no answer. “Take it easy Joe. After all, you said you care about the dog.”

“I thought she could be a good friend, that's all.” Chase recognizes that, shoulders down, biting lip and fist tight.

Joe has created a soft spot for her, however it could be a one sided feeling.

“Anyway see you later buddy, I need a break.” They tingle their pink fingers before leaving.

Destiny has its particular ways of showing a path, it could be an object, a cloud, a soft breeze, a dog or whatever that crosses in front of you, you just have to pay attention to the details…

Or the street.

Joe was about to pass the library when he recognised the girl coming out, Nora; immersed in her phone, headphones and barely paying attention to her surroundings just when she's about to cross the street.

One block for her destiny a fancy car gets in her way. 

Just about to curse while she's taking her headphones, she realizes who's in the driver seat.

“Joe! Hi!” Joe couldn't help, he needs to now.

“Going somewhere?” Nora shakes her head. 

“Bus stop, I'm going home.” Joe fakes think like in his mind a thousand of answers are already formulated.

“I can give you a ride, it's ok.” Nora moves her head side to side, quivering.

Her sister was pretty clear even in between lines, she hasn't anything against Joe, just he's a person who lives in a totally different world and she must be cautious.

“Hmm…” Savannah mentions she knew it. “Getting me close is enough, thank you.”

The way she grips her bag is a sign that she’s holding back for not talking, one question and the words will flow like a river in a storm.

Joe noticed when they stopped in a red light. “I saw Mone, he’s pretty well after his neuter.” 

Nora nods. “Yeah, Y/N is meticulous with him, he never escapes from her eyes.”

“I can imagine, it’s been a while since I didn’t hear about her, she has a lot of work?” Nora bites her lip trying to distract in her phone. 

“No.” But she’s curious and a little bit chatty so she breaks after seeing the text of Y/N on her screen.

 >What do you want for dessert?

She’s coming for dinner with hers.

“Ok, I give up.” Nora closes her eyes praying for don’t get scolded… too soon. “Listen Joe, I know about the notes, and for sure I mustn't get involved but you’re a nice guy so…”

Joe giggles. “It’s ok, I’m pretty sure she’s shy and I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I just wonder how she is.”

Nora scoffs. “Believe me Joe, Y/N is far away from being shy. She's mistrustful as hell plus she feels weird around people she doesn’t know.” 

Nora remembers the talk she heard between Savannah and Y/N. 

“She feels kind of awkward knowing you like your privacy and she invades with the notes, so she chose to keep at the out of, just letting Monte back like always.” Joe sees the path the GPS marks after Nora types her address.

“How do you know that?” He smiles, turning to the left where the residential zone is.

Nora scratches her head. “Oh, I… I was eavesdropping.” Joe laughs. “I didn’t mean it! Y/N came for her birthday two days ago and she and my sister were talking as they served the coffee and I wanted more water, so I accidently heard it.”

“It was her birthday?!” Joe is overreacting; he knows that but can’t help it.

Nora hits her forehead, she definitely speaks too much, seeing the familiar houses is her cue to go. “Here, you can leave me here.” 

The GPS indicates two more blocks. “Believe me Joe, if my sister sees this car and asks, she definitely knows I said more than I should.” 

Joe parks at his left, observing Nora open the door. “Hey, any advice?”

Nora can feel it, but that same feeling tends to go wrong. “Be you.” Nora sees the car of Y/N going straight forward, and she arrives. “Damn it! I have to go Joe, thank you!”

The spring is definitely here, you can see the big and green leaves in the trees and the fact Y/N brings a new canva with her, a new season.

“Ok, remember, we are only here for a short time, I have work to do.” Y/N said, taking the leash of Monet leaving it on the bench where she sits.

But Monet walks around sniffing until he finds the place where the sweet scene came; Y/N approaches seeing a small white box with a pink note on the top of it.

“You found it!” The voice of the Officer Lynch makes Y/N jump. “I've been keeping an eye before going home.”

“This is for me?” Y/N lifts the box. 

Officer Lynch grabs his bag next to the ree. “It’s for Monet’s friend.” Y/N tilt her head. “Have a good day Y/N, see you tomorrow.”

Y/N waves her hand before taking the note with a curious dog sitting in front of her. “What?” Monet barks at her. “Agh! Come on Monet!” But the dogs are similar to their owners.

Monet is so stubborn, he stands pushing the box. “You’re so wayward, know that.”

Y/N opens the box first, brownies, making her smirks. Then the small pink note.

 >I heard it was your birthday, happy birthday! 

  P.D You can share it with your friends, too much sugar.

The chocolate topic, she writes she loves and he remembers it.

“Is she even the one who brings Monet?” Joe bites his nails. “You definitely should think of that in the first place, Joe.”

Joe acts by instinct he knows that; just pass late night by his favorite bakery shop bought them, write the note early and the morning and procure leave it before Y/N arrives where she used to sit, with the need help of Officer Lynch.

What he didn't even think about was the small chance like she always tends to do when she had a lot of work, someone else takes Monte to the park.

The loud sniffing of Monet brings him back to the earth, Monet laid his head on Joe’s lap and Joe noticed he didn't bring the frisbee. 

“Hey buddy, where is the frisbee?” Joe kissed the top of his head. 

“I thought you don’t mind a little change of plans.” Joe hears his neck crack from turning around so quickly. Y/N is standing behind with two cups and the white box he left. 

Casually sits next to him. “I’m sorry for acting awkward it’s… Probably you want your privacy and I get involved with the notes, I don’t have any intention to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Nora has a good memory and ear. 

“But this definitely lets me know you’re not, right?” Y/N lifts the note, making Joe smirks

“We can say that.” Y/N nods, extending her hand. 

“Friends?” Monet is sitting observing the scene, especially the little bag his owner has in her bag. 

Joe smiles, seeing her hand with a couple of paper cuts, taking it and shaking it. “Friends.”

Y/N smiles. “Well, now share this with me, otherwise I have a chocolate coma.” Joe points to Monet. “Oh, I have his snack in my bag, don’t worry.”

Joe takes the cups and the box so she can take the snacks and give it one. “Oh, this is mine.” She takes the right cup. “That is a weird protein milkshake. I bought it from Mrs. Howk, tell me you tend to bring your cups.”

That’s why Monet hasn’t come, she’s buying drinks. 

“Am I that weird?” Y/N said, taking a sip of her coffee.

“NO! Why did you say that?” Joe giggles while taking a sip too, yes, just the one he orders. 

Monet laid in front of them letting the soft breeze and the sound of birds help him to rest, for today, any game is required. 

“You look at me with those eyes.” Joe shakes his head seeing to the blue sky he didn't notice but Y/N smiles at him softly tilting her head. 

He has pretty clear blue sky eyes, similar to the ocean.

[dancingtotuyo]

2. climbed a mountain

Landslide | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Series Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: you spend the next day with Joel and Sarah

Chapter Tags/Warnings: age gap (approx 13 years), past baby sitter, consumption of alcohol

Notes: Welp... i didn't anticipate a 6 month hiatus but here we are. Thank you for your patience and your love of the small fraction of this story you've read!

Shout out to @guiltyasdave for beta reading!

Words: 6048

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist

Joel Miller is going to hell in a handbasket with a pretty red ribbon tied around it and delivered right to the front gates for good measure. There’s no doubt about it. 

His entire life, Joel has prided himself on being a decent guy. He does the right thing. He married Pam when she got pregnant, working himself to the bone to provide every opportunity for Sarah. He holds doors open for strangers. He doesn’t take advantage of his clients who are always suspicious of contractors. He’s an overall decent guy. Until today that is. 

He tells himself it’s just out of concern that he watches you until you’re safely back into your parents’ home. He doesn’t look at your legs in those sinfully short shorts or the thin tank top that exposes an inch of midriff. He doesn’t see what his old eyes pin as a tattoo on your lower back. You didn’t have that last summer and- fuck, he shouldn’t even know that about you or remember last summer, the Randolph’s pool party.

He doesn’t just feel like a dirty old man. He is one, because a decent guy doesn’t let his eyes roam over the swell of your breasts in that flimsy tank top when he pulled that blanket over you earlier. A decent guy doesn’t feel relief when you decline the offer to stay the night because the moment it leaves his mouth, the picture of you sleeping in his bed fills him with desire, and a decent guy definitely does not replay the feel of your lips against his. 

Joel Miller wants to be a decent man, so he pushes the thoughts out and goes to bed. He takes a cold shower in the morning because a decent man doesn’t jack off to images of the 23 year old across the street. 

Sarah has the griddle already warming up when he makes his way downstairs. He heads straight for the coffee pot, the one he preps every night before heading to bed so it’s full and freshly brewed when he wakes up. “Sleep good last night?”

“Yeah,” Sarah says. She smiles at him as he fills the coffee mug. “You look like shit.”

He narrows his eyes at the 15-year-old. “Aren’t you a little too young to be using that kind of language.”

“What age did you start?”

Joel rolls his eyes as he sips on the coffee. He doesn’t say a word. Sarah smiles back in victory. He doesn’t actually care if she curses. He’s surprised she hasn’t started sooner. He curbs his tongue around her to an extent, but Tommy sure doesn’t. 

“Do you want the pancakes plain or with blueberries?”

“I think some of Denise’s peach pie filling is in the fridge,” he says. Your mom’s peach pie is legendary throughout the neighborhood. 

“Do you know how much sugar is in that? Too much.”

“Do you know how good Denise’s peach pie is? Too good.” 

And he wins this one as Sarah is already reaching into the fridge to pull out the reused cool whip container because even Sarah and her tireless pursuit to improve their diets can’t resist it. 

She pours the filling into a sauce pan and sets it to warm over the stove top. Joel’s mouth is watering at the sight of it. Before Sarah can dump the first scoop of batter to the griddle there’s a knock on the door. She looks at Joel. “Who’s that?”

“Go answer it and see.” Joel motions toward the door with his head. 

Sarah side eyes him but goes to answer the door. Joel takes this chance to top off his coffee without the watchful eye of his daughter. Sarah squeals out your name making Joel jump, almost spilling his drink down the front of his shirt. He survives with only a couple hot dribbles. Your laugh floats in with her excited voice. He can’t help but smile. Sarah always lights up when you come to visit. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I ran into your dad yesterday. He invited me over for breakfast.” 

“I just started warming your mom’s pie filling for the pancakes.” Sarah drags you into the kitchen. 

“That sounds amazing.” You say. 

Your eyes land on Joel the moment you round the corner, and Sarah drops your hand to tend to breakfast. He’s patting spilled coffee off his shirt like he’s still half asleep. Knowing Joel, he likely is. The man isn’t functional in the morning until he’s started on his second cup. You knew that better than most from the summers you started at 5 am so that Joel could finish up before the Texas heat got too bad and his afternoons were free for Sarah. 

Before you can look away, Joel’s eyes flicker to yours. You’re not sure what to expect. He was so kind and assuring last night, but in the morning your embarrassment has only grown. You swear you imagine his eyes flickering over your form, one of your mom’s shirts tucked into the cutoffs you wore yesterday. 

Before you can find judgment in his eyes, he looks away. He fills a second mug with coffee and sets it on the counter toward you. He pushes the sugar jar next to it but never looks back. You ease in just close enough to pull the offered items to the farthest point away from him. The awkwardness is better than the alternative you think. 

Sarah’s back is to the two of you as she works on preparing breakfast. The space slowly fills with the scent of cinnamon from the warming pie filling and sizzling pancake batter. 

“Would you like some help?” you offer as you fiddle with your coffee mug. 

Sarah shakes her head. “No, I’m treating both of you today.” 

She turns to face you leaning against the furthest point of the counter and Joel leaning against the sink. She doesn’t seem to pick up on the rigidity etched into Joel’s frame or the tension across your shoulders. 

“Go sit down. Both of you.” 

Joel opens his mouth to protest but Sarah cuts him off. “Sit down, old man.”

You laugh slightly moving to the table in the corner. 

Joel rolls his eyes, following his daughter’s orders. He comes to a standstill when reaching the table. There are two options, sit next to you or sit across from you. You pretend not to notice, staying engaged with Sarah while Joel contemplates his options, but you do. It only solidifies the mistake you made last night or rather early this morning. 

“Oh my god, Dad. Just pick a seat.” Sarah seems to notice his indecision. “I swear he’s going senile.”

“He must’ve stayed up past his bedtime last night?” You chime, pulling your coffee to your lips. 

His eyes snap up to yours and you realize your blunder, suddenly feeling that insecurity creep back in. Sarah throws her head back in laughter. He squares his shoulders, sliding into the chair next to yours as if defiant about it. It’s far enough you can’t feel his body heat but your body aches for it, knowing what you’re missing now. 

You keep your eyes averted, pinned to Sarah in the kitchen or the coffee mug in front of you. “When do you go back to school, Sarah?”

“Three weeks.”

“Got your class schedule yet?”

“Yup.”

“All AP and honors,” Joel chimes, a proud grin on his face as he leans back in his seat. 

Sarah rolls her eyes, but you catch the embarrassed grin on her face before she can turn her profile out of view. 

“Way to go. I’m proud of you.”

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Sarah shrugs, putting the warmed pie filling and whipped cream on the table. She hands each of you a plate as well. 

“That’s a lie,” you say. “It’s a huge deal, but we can change the topic if you want.”

“I want.” Sarah says.

You shake your head with a smile, taking another sip of your coffee. It feels so easy here with them, especially in the moments where you forget how much you screwed up the night before. 

Sarah sets a stack of pancakes in front of the two of you, pride gleaming on her face. “Dig in!”

He looks at you expectantly, as if to say, you first. You nod at him, wordlessly telling him to take what he wants first. His eyes met yours, putting you in a position you’ve been trying to avoid, locked in a silent stalemate with Joel Miller and his dreamy brown eyes. Your heart beat picks up, and you feel the familiar heat climbing up the back of your neck.  

Sarah’s brow furrows, looking back and forth at the two of you. “I promise, they’re not poisoned.”

It seems to snap the two of you out of wherever you were. Joel gives Sarah a sarcastic smile as he reaches out to take two of the steaming pancakes. “No egg shells?”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “Only in yours.” She sticks out her tongue before walking back into the kitchen. 

“Real mature, kiddo.” Joel chuckles as he begins to assemble his stack. 

You smile softly, before preparing your own plate. Sarah slides into the chair across from you a few minutes later. “So what are we doing today?”

Joel shrugs. “Need to run to the hardware store at some point.”

Sarah looks at you. “What do you want to do?”

You freeze, coughing a little. “I’m just here for breakfast.”

“Do you have any plans today?” she presses.

“Well no…”

“Then you can hang out with us. I feel like I haven’t seen you much. You’re all fancy living in the city now.” She wears a teasing grin that looks exactly like Joel’s. 

You flick whipped cream from your plate toward her. She gasps as it lands over her left eye. You feel smug, quirking an eyebrow at her. Next to you, Joel lets out the biggest, warmest chuckle that has your insides constricting and melting simultaneously. 

She wipes it from her face, barely keeping the smile from her lips. “That’s so not cool.”

“I never claimed to be-” you’re cut off by a blob of whipped cream to your face. Sarah loses it as Joel wears a smug look on his face.  

You turn to him, mouth agape. He smirks, licking the cream from his fingertips. You wish you could resist the way you zero in on it, catching the flick of his tongue as he wipes his thumb clean. He keeps his eyes on you the whole time. For the first time, you wonder if he is flirting with you. Your pulse quickens in your ears. 

“Am I the only mature one here?” Sarah shakes her head. 

Joel’s attention snaps back to his daughter, hand dropping as he’s back to the Joel you’re used to seeing. Your brain refuses to stop replaying the moment in your head. 

“In your dreams, munchkin,” Joel says causing Sarah to wrinkle her nose. 

Sarah turns back to you. “I still think you should come with us.”

“I don’t think you two want me tagging along.” You take a sip of your coffee. 

“I just invited you.” Sarah crosses her arms. 

“Actually, we’re going cause I need paint for your parents’ project.I could use some help pickin out paint colors,” Joel interjects, surprising you. “Your dad told me to ‘just pick something nice’.”

You can’t help the smile on your face and huff of laughter as Joel captures your father’s cadence perfectly. “Sounds about right.”

“See, now you have to come with us,” Sarah grins, giving you her signature puppy dog eyes. “Pleaseeeee.”

“Wow, are you four again?” You roll your eyes, uncertainty tightening in your chest. 

“If it gets you to come with us, yes.”

 You dare to glance Joel’s way, still affected by the whipped cream incident, the question evident in your eyes. Are you sure?

His eyes are soft and warm, the same way they drew you in last night. Your heart skips a beat and you want to curse yourself out. You need to get past this. You HAVE to put it behind you. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. You know you’re imagining everything. It won’t ever happen. 

Joel gives you the briefest nod, unnoticeable to Sarah. He doesn’t have to do this. He doesn’t have to make you feel better about the whole thing, but he does. You feel like you can breathe again.

Your head falls back to Sarah, smile already spread across your face. “I guess I can come.”

She squeals, wrapping her arms around your neck. “We’re going to have so much fun.”

“We’re going to the hardware store. That’s it.” Joel picks up his coffee cup. 

Sarah’s eyes narrow at him as if to call him out on the obvious bluff. They both know she could talk him into a prom dress if determined enough. “I’m going to get ready.” 

Once Sarah is out of the room, you feel the tension grow again. At least, it does in your body. Joel seems just as relaxed as usual. Upon finishing his coffee, he leans over, stacking your plate on his as he cleans up the dishes. 

Your back is turned to him as he washes up. The running water and clinking correlle the only sounds filling the space as you look out the window. You shift in your chair, slowly gaining the courage to speak. “I can make an excuse to get out of today. It’s not a big deal.”

The facet cuts off. You hear a plate slide into the dish drainer. “You should come if you want.”

You circle the rim of your mug with your pointer finger. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not.”

You shift, not quite believing it. 

“Sweetheart, I wouldn’t have asked you over if it made me uncomfortable.”

You suck in a breath, gnawing on your bottom lip. “Promise?”

You don’t have to look at him to hear the sincerity in his voice. “Promise.”

Sitting shotgun in Joel’s pick up with Sarah leaning up between your seats from the back feels more domestic than you’d like to admit. The windows are down, the classic rock station playing on the radio. Joel’s left bicep rests along the open windowsill, his hand casually slung over the steering wheel as his right hand taps the beat against the center console. The AC blasts even with the windows down. Your eyes keep darting over from behind your sunglasses, mouth watering at the way his bicep pulls and stretches at the sleeve of his tshirt. All you can think about is having more, more of these moments. More of Joel. 

Sarah blabbers on, catching you up on all the summer gossip you’ve missed around the neighborhood and among her classmates, many of which you also babysat for. It’s mostly about who's dating who now. One of the 10th graders cheated on his girlfriend. There’s a rumor that Anna Hanes, who turns 17 in December, is dating a college boy. 

You scrunch up your nose. “That’s concerning.”

“Her dad lets her get away with everything.”

You turn, back pressing into the center console as you peer at Sarah over your sunglasses. Your shoulders brush against Joel’s arm. You ignore the thrill that shoots through you. “You ever do something like that, I’m locking you away in a tower and castrating the boy.” 

Sarah lands somewhere between a scoff and a laugh of shock. 

“I know how to do it too.”

“I don’t doubt you do, and where are you finding this tower?”

“I’ll build it,” Joel chips in and you can’t help but smile at him. 

“The dynamic duo,” Sarah remarks as Joel pulls into the hardware store.

“What about this?” Joel pulls out a paint swatch in shades of beige. 

You make a sound of disgust, ripping it from his grasp. “No way. My mom isn’t getting her dream updates after all this time for you to paint it renter’s beige.”

Joel shakes his head. “And that’s why I brought you with me.”

“It was my idea,” Sarah interjects, looking through paint colors more for herself than the task at hand. 

You shoot her a smile, moving to the blues, thumbing through the wall of color. Joel stands behind your shoulder. You feel him watching you, just close enough to catch the faint whispers of his breath against your neck. Heat crawls up your back. You cock your head away from him to avoid the temptation to look back at him.

“Can I help you with somethin?” you say. Why is he standing so close? After last night, he should have enough sense to know what he does to you. 

“No, just supervisin.” 

“Supervising?” Your head swings around, meeting his eyes. He’s closer than you thought. “So closely?”

“It’s my name on the line, Sweetheart. Gotta make sure the job is done correctly.” There’s the briefest ghost of a smirk on his face. 

You knit your brow together before rolling your eyes, both in annoyance and to break eye contact. It’s wild the way his eyes cut through you, driving all sensibility from your body.  “Here,” you pick out a final swatch, pushing the cards into Joel’s chest. “Get samples of these.”

He grabs your wrists, keeping your hand pressed to his chest. “Sure that’s enough?”

Your heart leaps in your chest. His thumb runs over the pulse point in your wrist. Your body reacts, hair standing on end, nipples tightening against the pads of your bra. You bite your lip. It’s not fair. Doesn’t he realize even a fraction of what this does to you, what he does to you. 

You’re not sure what he’s trying to accomplish here. He can't be flirting with you, but you’re not sure what to call this. It leaves you searching for answers, grasping at straws of understanding. You can’t escape that nudging in the back of your mind that there’s no other reason for him to be acting like this other than to tease you. 

You square your shoulders with his. Yanking your wrist free, you grab a final swatch without looking. It slaps against his chest with more force than you intend. Joel raises a brow. You don’t care. You need to escape from his personal bubble.

Sarah’s head snaps your way, confusion painted on his face. “Y’all good?”

Your hand drops as you take a step back. “Yeah,” you put on your best ‘everything is good’ smile. “Your dad is just being annoying.”

Sarah shoots a glare at her father. “Be nice.”

Joel shakes his head, handing the swatches to the employee at the paint counter. Sarah shakes her head in a very similar manner. “I swear he has no manners. We’re working on it.”

You laugh, throwing your arm over her shoulder. You pray it seems natural, that she doesn’t pick up on body’s heightened state.  “It’s not his fault he’s old and senile.”

Sarah’s sigh is overdramatic, mimicking a gossiping old woman at the weekly sewing circle. “Some people just never change.”

“You know my hearing still works.” Joel says over his shoulder. 

“Oh look, he remembered his hearing aids today.”

Joel sighs, turning and resting against the counter. He crosses his arms against his chest, once again pulling your attention to his bulging biceps. You force yourself to look away, realizing that the sooner you’re out of Joel Miller’s proximity, the better. You need to go home, back to your apartment, but even the thought of getting in your car, leaving the safety of your childhood home, spikes your anxiety. 

“Can we get ice cream after this?” Sarah says.

“We haven’t even had lunch yet,” Joel says. 

“Then we should get lunch and ice cream.”

“We have lunch at home.”

Sarah rolls her eyes, looking at you. “That’s a yes.”

You laugh. “Didn’t sound like one to me.”

“But it is.” Sarah plasters a smile on her face, that irresistible one, for the second time that day. 

Joel scoffs, turning around to pay for the paint samples as they’re set on the counter. “Believe it or not, I know how to say no to you.” 

“But you won’t.”

Joel shakes his head, keeping his back turned to the two of you. Sarah winks at you, full of confidence, mouthing, watch this. 

When Joel turns around, Sarah’s puppy dog eyes are on full display, the same ones she used this morning to convince you. 

“No.” He says, plastic bag rattling in his hand. “Let’s go.” He starts for the door. 

“Please, Daddy?” She stops in her tracks. You stifle laughter. 

Joel sighs, pinching his brow. “Sarah.”

“Come on.” You join in. You’re playing with fire. You know you shouldn’t, but your self control comes in waves. You don’t want to be alone. “What’s the harm in lunch?”

“See! Pleaseeeee, Dad!”

“Yeah! Pleaseeeee, Da-” Your lips instantly zip before it can slip out. You pray that Sarah doesn’t catch it, but the way Joel’s eyes narrow, you know he does. You bite your lip, eyes darting to the floor. 

Joel lets the silence sit for a few calculated seconds. Sarah bounces on the balls of her feet, curls bouncing in anticipation, hands clasped in front of her in a silent plea. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Providing you don’t have anywhere you need to be, Sweetheart.” 

There’s an emphasis on the previously innocent endearment that sets your insides clenching. It’s almost threatening, but in the most delicious way, like you’ve reached the end of his control, the threads of it fraying until it splits.

The heat of it is gone in a split second, turning his attention to Sarah. “Where do you want to go?”

And just like that, you’re wondering if you just made everything up. 

Joel knows he’s playing with fire. He knows he’s walking in dangerous territory, but the part of him that cares, the part that sets off sirens has been gone since you crawled into his truck, sitting shotgun with your legs exposed in short cutoffs..

You’re the one who kissed him. You’re flirting back, pushing at his buttons like you know exactly what drives him crazy. Better yet, you’re enjoying it, that easy smile on your lips. He knows it’s likely just a distraction for you, a way to make it through the day after the tumultuous couple of days you’ve had. He likes being that distraction, distracting you, making the heat of playfulness and annoyance, desire, spring to your eyes. He’ll do anything to make you feel better, to make you smile.

Joel opens the truck door for you this time, his hand at the base of your back as you step up. It burns all the way to the diner. He slides into your side of the booth, shoulder brushing yours as he flips through the menu, knee pressing against your skin as he shifts in his seat. You can smell his comforting scent, dirt and sawdust and hints of irish spring soap. It’s all Joel, all around you. You can’t even process the menu, he’s so distracting. When the waitress comes, you order the special without even knowing what it is. 

Sarah and Joel chat back and forth, but you lean back, taking it in, trying to get your wits about you. It’s not fair the effect he has on you. Just as you think you’re starting work through the intoxication of him, Joel leans back in the booth, arm stretching over the back of it, millimeters from touching your back. The heat from it grazes your skin.

 When you dare to look at him, his eyes are on Sarah. You want to ask him what he thinks he’s doing, demand answers. There’s no world that Joel Miller would ever consider you with anything other than the utmost propriety. It’s what you’ve told yourself for years, the only way to keep a handle on your feelings. It doesn’t stop the fireworks going off in your chest, but it does keep you restrained, from making the same mistake you made last night. 

Throughout lunch, there’s a couple times Joel’s fingertips brush against your thighs. The first time is when he reaches for the napkin in his lap. He apologizes the first time when your head snaps toward him. The second time feels more deliberate, there’s more pressure in it. Your fork tumbles out of your grasp that time. There’s a deep rumbling in his chest that time that only you can hear. The third time, he’s reaching for his wallet to pay the bill once again leaving you to wonder if you imagined the intention behind his actions because you wanted it to be there. 

Sarah talks you into a game of monopoly when you get back to their house. It rolls right into dinner time. The three of you are ruthlessly competitive. Even with you and Sarah merging your assets into a super corporation that has Joel grumbling about the rules, he beats the two of you. Joel offers up grilled steak for dinner and you can’t refuse, and then a movie is slipped into the DVD player.  Before you know it, the sun has set and you’re stuck on the floor well past the ending credits as Sarah meticulously paints your toe nails. 

Joel laughs, walking into the living room with two beers in hand. He holds one your way. You mouth a thank you, making him chuckle as he leans over. “That’s not the color you were using earlier.”

“It didn’t look right,” Sarah shoots back, hovering over your feet with the utmost concentration. 

“I think she’s just holding me captive.” You tease, taking a sip from your bottle. 

“Am not.” Sarah scrunches up her face at you, but you see the smile in her eyes. The one that tells you she’s been caught. 

You simply shrug at her. “Better make sure they look professionally done then.”

Joel chuckles, setting his beer on the coffee table. He leans back, pulling his guitar from the corner. You avert your eyes as his t-shirt rides up, exposing a flash of his happy trail. You don’t notice it, you tell yourself. Apparently, you’ve taken up trying to lie to your own brain now. 

Joel plucks haphazardly at the strings. You’re intently watching Sarah work at your feet, ears picking up on the music. Your heart warms up instantly and before you know it, you’re drawn in, watching his fingers glide over the worn frets. There are several scratches along the body, some deeper than others but non affecting the tone and sound. It’s the same one you’ve memorized over the years, the same one that feels woven into the fabric of your soul. Joel looks at ease with the instrument as if it’s an extension of himself. Sarah sways lightly, careful not to let it mess up her work. 

Your eyes drift close. You’re glad you stayed, exhausted from the day in the best kind of way. Sitting on the living room floor with two of your favorite people tops it off beautifully. 

Joel plucks at the strings, creating a familiar melody. Your head snaps to him with a slight look of disbelief that bleeds into amusement. He lifts a brow at you and winks. Sarah shoots up with a gasp, attention flickering between you and Joel. Excitement flickers in her eyes, and you know what’s coming next. “You have to sing!”

“No, not happening.”

“Come on! It’s our songgggg.”

“I’m not Stevie Nicks.” You laugh.

“No, but who is?” Sarah says very matter of factly. “You’re good enough and you should sing.”

“Good enough?” You hold back your laughter. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

She shrugs, capping the nail polish container and fanning at your nails. “Don’t move until these are dry.” She stands, stretching out her back after being in the same position for well over an hour. “And sing.”

“Or what?” Dry laughter shakes your chest. 

“I’m locking you in a tower,” Sarah says with a proud grin, disappearing into the kitchen. 

You look over at Joel who wears laughter in his eyes. “If I’m found dead in a ditch somewhere, it was her.”

Joel fully loses it, his head tipping back as the laughter bubbles up from his stomach. “Afraid you have a stalker?”

“Did you see the look in her eyes?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make her release you eventually.”

“Tired of me, Miller?”

“Not yet.” He winks at you and your stomach dips as butterflies erupt. 

“Hey, old man, why’d you stop?” Sarah walks back in with a full glass of milk and oreos. 

“Old man? What happened to your manners?” Joel looks at her incredulously, but the humor underlying all their interactions is evident. 

“Never had any.” She teases, popping a cookie in her mouth. “Now keep playing.” She says mouth full. You hop up, snatching one of the oreos from her grasp. “Hey!”

“You got awful ornery all of a sudden,” Joel says.

“That’s cause I’m the princess, you’re supposed to listen to me. Now play.” She turns around, looking you right in the eyes. You flashback to when Sarah was much younger, ordering you around in her princess dress. It’s not as endearing as it was when she was 5, but at least you catch the lilt of humor in her face now. “Sing.”

Joel starts plucking at the strings again. Sarah watches you expectantly. You shake your head at her, already swaying to the music, letting it permeate your bones. You let Joel play through the chord progression once and then twice, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath, letting the long memorized lyrics to Landslide pour out of you.  

I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

Sarah joins in on the next line. You smile, opening your eyes as the two of you serenade one another. Joel smiles as he watches you together. He loves the way Sarah lights up around you, like you’re the sister he could never giver her.

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm gettin' older, too

The guilt topples over him, causing his fingers to stumble over the strings before finding his footing again. All that flirting, toeing dangerously close to the line earlier in the day, it had to stop. Even if he went against his better judgment, ignored the year on your birth certificate, it would jeopardize this for Sarah. He refused to let that happen. 

Oh, the landslide will bring it down

You catch his eye at the end, probably linger a little too long. You smile at him, but the one he returns seems forced. Something’s shifted again. He’s probably remembering last night. Probably changed his mind about letting you hang around today. 

Joel continues to mess around on the guitar. Sarah smiles content to listen to just the instrument now. Her head rests on your shoulder and you lose track of time like that. Sitting like this, your brain shuts off, anxiety melting away. There’s no right or wrong or mistakes here. It’s okay to sit and stare and listen. 

After an indiscernible amount of time, Joel lifts his head from the guitar, smiling in your direction, but his eyes motion to Sarah. She’s asleep against you. You smile, feeling the sleep in your own eyes, the way your muscles have stiffened as you sat on the floor motionless for so long. 

“Some things never change I guess.”

Joel smiles, setting his guitar to the side as he stands. “She can still fall asleep anywhere.” 

He leans down, and you're shocked as he proceeds to lift her into his arms without waking her. He grunts softly. 

“I can’t believe you’re still carrying her to bed.” You laugh. It’s a good disbelief. “You’re going to throw your back out.”

Joel shrugs. “I can’t bring myself to wake her up.” 

He takes Sarah upstairs and you finally rise from the floor, muscles aching in protest. You gather the dishes that scatter the coffee table, taking them to the kitchen where you fill the sink with warm water and soap. It doesn’t feel right to just leave yet, and you’re not ready to return to your parents’ empty home across the street. 

“You don’t have to do those,” Joel's voice holds a sleepy raspiness. It sends chills down your spine. 

You shrug, trying to ignore it, but your body ignites, engulfed in everything you fought off throughout the day. “It’s the least I could do.” 

You set a plate in the dish drainer to your right. Joel eases in on your left, hip resting against the counter top. You take a second before you look at him, but it doesn’t prepare you for how close he is, how close his brown eyes are. His lips. God, he’s beautiful.

You swallow, taking a steadying breath. It’s impossible not to catch the drift of his eyes down to your lips. You know you’re not imagining it this time. You wonder if he’ll actually do it. You remember the feel of his lips from last night as you lick your bottom lip. It lures Joel in a little closer. Your heart rate jumps. Is he- he wouldn’t- your brain short circuits, not letting any thoughts fully develop. Every interaction from the day floods back to you, everything you told yourself you misread. The flirting in the hardware store. When he brushed your thigh at the diner. Did Joel Miller actually want you? It was the first time you let that thought exist. 

His fingers brush over your temple and behind your ear. Heat sears where he touched. He tucks the knuckle of his pointer finger under your chin, so much flashing behind his eyes. It’s like he’s weighing his options, the risks. You want to yell, to scream at him to throw caution to the wind, but you stand there quietly watching him instead, waiting for whatever he decides to do. 

His forehead tilts toward you, almost pressing against yours, hot breath meeting your lips. Your eyes dare to flutter and then he’s gone, on the other side of the room letting out a ragged breath. 

Disappointment fills your body, but you can’t help but be a little relieved. At least it’s over. At least he’ll let you down easy and you can move on with your life now. You look away, submerging your hands back into the soapy water as you pull the plug. The water gargles as it disappears, leaving only suds behind. You use the sink sprayer to wash those down the drain as well.

“The offer still stands, you know.”

You furrow your brow, looking at Joel whos still across the room.’What are you talking about?”

“If you wanted to stay here tonight. I can take the-”

“No.” You cut him off rather quickly. “I’m fine at my parents.” That’s only half true. You reach for a towel, drying off your hands and then grab the keys that sit on the counter top. It's the only thing you brought with you this morning. “Thank you for offering though, again.”

Joel nods. You can tell he feels guilty, but you can’t decide exactly what that is. Was if for almost kissing you? Or for not kissing you. You want it to be the latter. “I’ll be there for a couple days yet, but don’t let that stop you from working.”

“I’ll be there Monday to paint.”

“Sounds good.”

Joel walks you to the door without another word. It feels cold and awkward. Joel shoves his hands into his jean pockets as he opens the front door. Another almost. Another encounter to add to the quickly growing pile. 

Your two steps out when his voice reaches you. “Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

Your heart clenches as you hesitate, turning around just long enough to say, “Goodnight Joel,” before you’re darting across the street under the cover of darkness. Once again Joel watches your fleeting form. 

When you reach your parents door, letting it swing wide, you turn to wave and then disappear inside. 

Joel’s heart does a summersault. 

Taglist: @pedrotonin @amyispxnk@joeldjarin @ilovepedro @justagalwhowrites

@missladym1981 @jessthebaker @annieispunk @ashleyfilm @moel-jiller

@eloquentdreamer @lizzie-cakes @hiroikegawa @untamedheart81 @readingiskeepingmegoing

@goodvibesonly421 @mandeepandee1997 @mellymbee @dancinglotusbud

I carried over the taglist from Woman. If you were tagged and no longer want to be, please let me know! If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

[imavikingo]

Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.

They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)

It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.

And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc

(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.

I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"

No.

I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?

No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.

That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)

Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.

Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!

I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif

"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER

Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.

It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.

So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.

**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))

or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.

But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"

Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.

The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.

"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.

Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[haarute]

something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!

[meggie-moo]

i’m pretty neutral about dirkjake, like i don’t care wether they do/not end up together. that being said, I LOVE, how they are written. like i feel like queer characters/relationships either aren’t allowed to have drama, or aren’t allowed to have fun drama. but dirkjake is the closest thing homestuck has to straight romance drama. like they are the finchel of homestuck. we need more queer couples who have heterosexual drama

[maybeicanbesaved]

got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’

[dazeddoodles]

On that note. I've been defending Huntlow shippers from people hating on it for months because I know when Raeda gets together at the very last minute, we're gonna get it too.

Raeda Shippers 🤝 Huntlow Shippers

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[i-appear-misssing]

I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop

[nessvn]

i just need to make it to shabbat i just need to make it to shabbat i just need

[skaald-of-the-hearth-fires]

yeah I love Logan and Rytlock's dynamic TO DEATH.

no I am not a shipper. blegh. Rytlock is aromantic, while Logan is clearly alloromantic.

they work better as bros fr. Rytlock is as shipped with Logan as he'll get by making Logan an honorary member of his warband. Warband, esp sparring-partner dynamic, is so QPP it isn't even funny.

Logan is Rytlock's QPP and doesn't even realize it. (this is why Rytlock is so mad abt him leaving. they had a good thing. unrequited QPPs lets goooo)

Logan is like. SWEET! A fighting buddy! A sparring partner! hol' up my queen's on the other line.

Rytlock FUMING. aren't we brothers? aren't we bonded for life? won't we fight by each other's side? one of us end our life dying for the other? the other going on living, finishing the mission, and slaying enemies with the rest of the warband, raising a 21-mug salute to the fallen after every victory? didn't we swear to always have each other's backs??

Logan accidentally starts thinking about Jennah one time when they're hanging out at a tavern, goes all lovey-eyed and starts murmuring how much he loves her.

Rytlock stares at him, honestly lowkey grossed-out, rather glad Logan keeps it away from him most of the time. -scooch scooch away from him, Logan's too drunk to notice-

some fan who's been following their bromance for years: oh Rytlock... I know how it is to fall in love with a member of the other race...

Rytlock SPEWING like what?!?!? LOVE!? AS IN ROMANCE?!? flowers and kisses? what are you NUTS? I'm staying FAR away from that I'm serious don't you come NEAR me with a ten-foot pole -

he's genuinely flabbergasted, maybe mildly repulsed. and with LOGAN? SHUT - !! CLAWS! TEETH!

seriously what possessed you to make that comment?

Rytlock suddenly very concerned: does he FLAMING expect me to send him CHOCOLATES or something?? call him 'deary'? What kind of nonsense do humans expect?? SMODUR'S FLAMING EYE, I HOPE HE'S NOT POLY!!

OKAY, FLAMES, I'M NOT MAD ABOUT JENNAH ANYMORE, I'M PERFECTLY FINE, get out of here!!

This isn't a major problem I'm just tired of it. Two characters can have an interesting dynamic without it having to boil down to "then they kiss"

[mortalityplays]

talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.