#the only problem is that then i listen to all of these
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gf2bellamy · 3 days ago
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hiii!
i was wondering if you could write spencer x reader, where she’s having a really bad day but spencer is coming home from a case and is exhausted, mentally and physically so she feels guilty that she would bother him with her mood
So she just hides away and is on the verge of a panic attack and spencer finds her and is all “you save me, so pls let me save you” and just comforts her (and calls her angel because 🫠)
thankyouuu so much (you dont have to do it if you dont want! no pressure at all!) i love your writing, it’s so incredibly cute and endearing <3
exhaustion — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader crying a lot , reader feeling guilty / tired / exhausted, spencer calls reader angel a/n: hii thank you so much for your request !! i hope you like this <3
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The apartment was quiet—too quiet. You sat on the couch, curled up in one corner, staring blankly at the empty space in front of you. The TV was off, the big overhead light was off, and the only light came from the small lamp on the side table.
You hadn’t moved in what felt like hours, your mind swirling with the events of the day. It had been one of those days—the kind where nothing went right, where every little thing seemed to pile up until you felt like you were drowning under the weight of it all. 
You missed Spencer. A lot. Especially right now.
He had a way of making everything feel better. You longed for his comforting hugs and the way he’d listen to you ramble about your day.
But he wasn’t here. He was at work, buried under mountains of paperwork and case files.
The sound of keys jingling in the lock snapped you out of your thoughts. You jumped up from the couch, your heart leaping in your chest as you hurried to the door.
Spencer stepped inside, looking disheveled and exhausted. His tie was loosened, his hair was a mess, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He dropped his bag by the door with a heavy thud, and before you could say a word, he pulled you into a tight hug. 
You melted into his embrace, your arms wrapping around his neck as you buried your face in his shoulder. He smelled like coffee and faintly of paper. For a moment, you just stood there, holding each other.
“I missed you,” Spencer mumbled into your hair, his voice muffled but sincere. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back.
“I missed you too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You didn’t want to let go, but after a moment, he pulled back slightly, his hands moving to cradle your face. His thumbs brushed gently over your cheeks.
“Today was horrible,” he said with a sigh, his shoulders slumping as he let go of you to shrug off his jacket. He ran a hand through his hair, looking more tired than you’d seen him in a long time. 
You bit your lip, hesitating. “What happened?” you asked softly, following him as he moved further into the apartment. 
He sighed again, sinking onto the couch and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “Just… paperwork. So much paperwork. And then Garcia’s computer crashed, so we lost half the files we needed, and Hotch wanted everything reorganized by tomorrow morning…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “It was just one thing after another.” 
You sat down next to him, your heart aching as you watched him. He looked so drained, so unlike his usual self, and you felt a pang of guilt for even thinking about burdening him with your own problems.
Today had been hard for you, but it sounded like it had been even harder for him. The last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. 
So instead of talking about your day, you reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “That sounds awful.” 
He gave you a small, tired smile, his fingers intertwining with yours. “It’s okay. It’s just… one of those days, you know?” 
You nodded, your throat tightening. You did know.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him. Instead, you shifted closer, pulling him into another hug. He leaned into you, his head resting on your shoulder as you ran your fingers through his hair. 
“How was your day?” Spencer mumbled, his voice soft and drowsy as he leaned back against the couch, pulling you with him.
You settled against his side, his head still resting on your shoulder as your fingers continued to gently card through his hair.
The question caught you off guard, and you hesitated for a moment, your hand stilling briefly before you forced yourself to keep moving. 
“It was… good,” you said, your voice carefully neutral. You tried to inject a note of cheerfulness into your tone, but it came out sounding hollow, even to your own ears. 
Spencer hummed against your shoulder, seemingly too tired to notice the slight falter in your voice. “I’m glad,” he murmured, his words muffled as he nuzzled closer to you. His warmth was comforting, but it did little to ease the tightness in your chest. 
After a moment, he shifted, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before slowly sitting up. “I’m going to get changed,” he said, his voice still heavy with exhaustion.
He gave your hand a gentle squeeze before standing and heading toward the bedroom, leaving you alone on the couch. 
As soon as he was out of sight, the lump in your throat returned, thicker and more suffocating than before. You bit your lip hard, trying to hold back the tears that had been threatening to spill all evening.
But it was no use. The dam broke, and before you could stop yourself, you were on your feet, hurrying toward the bathroom. 
You shut the door behind you with a soft click, leaning against it as the first tear slipped down your cheek. Then another. And another.
Soon, you were crying , your shoulders shaking as you tried to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape. You muttered curses under your breath, frustrated with yourself for not being able to hold it together. 
“Get it together,” you whispered harshly, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes. But the tears wouldn’t stop.
The tears kept running, your shoulders shaking as you tried to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape.
You felt like a mess, your face hot and your chest tight. But just as you were about to try to pull yourself together, you heard footsteps outside the bathroom door, followed by a soft knock. 
“Hey,” Spencer’s voice came through the door, gentle and concerned. “Can I come in?” 
You froze, your breath catching in your throat. You didn’t know what to do. Part of you wanted to tell him to go away, to spare him from seeing you like this, but another part of you desperately needed him.
You muttered a curse under your breath, wiping at your face with the back of your hand before slowly getting to your feet. 
You opened the door just enough to peek out, your eyes meeting Spencer’s. He was standing there, his expression soft but worried. His hair was still a mess, but his eyes were focused entirely on you. 
“Hey, hey,” he said immediately, stepping closer. “What’s wrong?” 
You sniffled, your throat tightening as you tried to find the words. “I—” you started, but your voice broke, and you shook your head, unable to continue.
How could you even begin to explain? Everything was wrong. The entire day had been wrong, and now you felt like you were falling apart. 
Spencer didn’t push. Instead, he reached out, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek, wiping away a tear. His touch was so tender that it only made you cry harder.
“Come on,” he said softly, his hand slipping down to take yours. He gave it a gentle squeeze before pulling you with him, leading you out of the bathroom and down the hallway. 
You followed him numbly, your fingers intertwined with his as he guided you to the bedroom. He sat you down on the edge of the bed and knelt in front of you, his hands resting on your knees as he looked up at you, his eyes searching yours. 
“Talk to me, angel,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “What’s going on?” 
The nickname made your heart ache, and you shook your head, fresh tears spilling over. “I didn’t want to bother you,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “You had such a bad day, and I didn’t want to make it worse.” 
Spencer’s expression softened, his hands moving to cradle your face. “You could never make my day worse,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “And you’re never a bother. Not to me. Not ever.” 
You shook your head again, your hands gripping his wrists as you tried to steady yourself. “But you were so tired, and I didn’t want to—” 
“Hey,” he interrupted gently, his thumbs brushing away your tears. “You save me, I save you. That’s how this works, remember?” 
You nodded slowly, your breath hitching as more tears spilled over by just hearing those sweet words. Spencer leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms.
You went willingly, burying your face in his shoulder as he held you close. His hands rubbed soothing circles on your back, and you felt some of the tension in your chest begin to ease. After a while he slowly let go, but his hands remaining on your arms.
“Tell me about your day,” he said after a while, his voice soft but insistent. “What happened?” 
You hesitated, but the way he was looking at you—so patient, so understanding—made it impossible to hold back. So you told him. You told him about everything that had gone wrong.
And he listened, his hands never leaving yours, his eyes never wavering from yours. 
When you were done, he pulled you into his arms again, holding you tightly against his chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice low and steady. “I’m sorry you had such a bad day. But I’m here now, okay? And I’m not going anywhere.” 
You nodded, your face buried in his shoulder as you clung to him. For the first time all day, you felt like you could breathe again. Like maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. 
“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his shirt. 
Spencer pressed a kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. “Always, angel,” he said softly. “Always.” 
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demonic0angel · 9 hours ago
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Twenty something year old Danny becomes a preschool teacher to a class of young meta and liminal kids, he helps to keep the kids calm when they discover their abilities and is genuinely one of the better teachers at the school. He's also a part-time member of the Justice League.
He's in the middle of a meeting when he gets a call from a freaked out substitute teacher saying one of the kids is stuck halfway through the wall and doesn't know what to do. Danny excuses himself and explains that one of his kids is having a small problem and he'll be right back and then leaves not realizing the chaos he left behind in his wake as the Justice League believe that Phantom has multiple kids and is a single father.
Phantom laughed nervously. “I need to pick this up real quick.” His phone continued to ring until Phantom had exited the meeting room.
However, he seemed to have forgotten to go far to avoid eavesdroppers or he was too worried to find somewhere else to pick up the call, because he only stopped behind the door to answer.
“What happened? Are they okay?” He said, sounding urgent. “Do I need to get there?”
“One of your kids is stuck!” Came a voice from the phone.
Everyone within the meeting room was leaning in, nosey as ever. Batman, who was presenting, was even tilting his entire body to the door, the only indication of his listening in.
The voice continued, “I’m so sorry, sir, I don’t know how to get them out! It’s causing a panic and no one can help me and all of the kids are crying for you!”
“How many are there? Are they all okay?”
The voice sniffled, clearly distressed and crying herself. “All ten of them are here. They’re all okay, it’s just that Etiel is stuck in the wall and no one can get him out. It’s freaking them all out.”
Phantom muttered, “Fiddlesticks. Okay, uhm. Try to calm them down, if you can. Can you find Cindy? She’s the most responsible, she’ll know what to do. And tell her that when I come back, I’ll make sure to reward her for her help. I’ll try to get there as fast as I can.”
Phantom then hung up the call after a few more words of encouragement and reassurance to the other person on the line. Then he hung up the call and came back into the room, looking apologetic. Everyone quickly pretended to be doing nothing.
Flash was holding seventeen new orders of fast food burgers, but Phantom was too distracted to notice.
“Is there something wrong?” Superman coughed awkwardly.
“Yes, I’m very sorry, but I have an emergency at home. Is it possible for me to get notes of the meeting later to review? I’m sorry— I know that this meeting had been planned for a while.”
Wonder Woman said, her voice very gentle, “Of course. We shall send you a review of the meeting in an email. Please, go home and rest assured. Take care of your little ones.”
Phantom blinked and then chuckled. “You heard that, huh? Thank you. I have to go now, so bye! Thanks again!” Without hesitation, he then flew off like a streak of light.
They were silent for a moment longer.
Then they all turned to Batman.
“Are you happy that you’re not alone in the club of single father with over 2 kids?”
“….. hn.”
Batman was determined to have more friends with kids and poor Phantom wasn’t going to know what hit him.
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dcxdpdabbles · 2 days ago
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#holiday request Hi, I love your writing! Could you please update either "Danny's grill", "Congratulations! It's Triplets!" or "Phantom's number 1 fan"? Please and thank you
Jason is once again reviewing the map of potential areas Alvin could have been operating in when his burner phone rings. He snatches it up before it can pass the fourth ring, pressing it gently against his ear.
He offers no greeting. It's a tactic he uses to ensure that whoever is calling him has permission to do so. If someone attempts to conform his informants' and allies connection with him, Jason is not about to give them away by speaking first.
"Hey Boss," Honeycomb's voice filters through, edged by that familiar overdramatic southern draw she did when working. Apparently, the clients like listening to her use her accent. "I got eyes on that doll you've been searching for."
Jason sits up straighter. "Where and when?"
Honeycomb is one of the working girls who's been with him since his return to Gotham. She was the first to sign up for his protection, long before he did the whole heads in a duffle bag thing, and was one of his best eyes and ears on the street in exchange.
He didn't know her real name or age- but he was sure she wasn't underage. He made it clear he wouldn't allow it. All Jason knew about Honeycomb was that she had run away from her home in the southern states with nothing but her pretty face, blond curls, hazel eyes, and the clothes on her back.
She was feisty and could charm her way out of most problems with her silver tongue. Her manipulation of her clients was almost an art form, and she could get any information out of anyone with a well-placed hand on the air and a sweet little "darling" on her grubby lips. He often thought she would have been a lawyer if life had been fair to her.
"Just now, on Ruby Street. He was with a man in his late teenage to early twenties. About six feet five inches, black hair, blue eyes, and Caucasian. Alvin was wearing black tights and a red hoodie. The man is in jeans and a white zip-up." Honeycomb rattles in one smooth report, the huskiness of her accent making her articulation more pleasant to the ear. "Seems they were doing a photo shoot."
Jason is already moving towards his bike, switching her call to his helmet. His stomach turns slightly as he grunts, "What kind of photoshoot?"
"Not that kind, Darling. Seemed more like a scavenger hunt, according to Alvin. They are finding specific landscapes and making posses that are answers to some riddles." Honeycomb responds. Distantly, her heels clicking against the concrete echo a little louder, letting Jason know she has wandered into an alley. "I approached Alvin when the man with him went up a fire escape to take a picture with a gargoyle. I offered him my service to him as a cover. Once he confirmed his name was Alvin and he was already with a client, I left before he could get the idea I was attempting to steal his work."
"Good job." Jason boots up his bike, flying out of his hideout without hesitation. He was still twenty minutes away from Ruby Street, but if the pair was going to be a moment, he could close the distance between them and find a trail to follow once on scene.
He questions as he flies through two lanes, ignoring the honking of angry divers. "How did Alvin look? He's supposed to be with one of my contacts, so if he's with someone, it might be a John roughing him up."
I'll deal with Victorian later. He mentally swears How dare he not tell me, Alvin went back to the field after hiding out for so long without a ounce of protection.
"The sweetheart doesn't seem hurt, but I can tell his client is one of those problematic kinds." Honeycombs sighs, the edges of unease slipping into her voice. "He looks at Alvin like he's in love."
Shit. It's never suitable for working folks to meet someone who "loves" them. Nine out of ten times, it was just a wacko who became violent the moment the prostitute so much as hinted that this was only a job to them. Jason had pulled out three women's bodies from the Brown River the last time one of those clients fell in love.
Jason pressed harder on the accelerator. "Are they still there?"
Honeycomb hums "The John is on the roof now, but Alvin is waiting for him under the street pole-Oh shit!"
Jason nearly slams into a nearby car at her sudden yell. "What happened?"
She doesn't answer, but he can pick up the sound of her running and her fast breathing. He knows she is getting out of danger because if there is one thing Honeycomb is as a person, she's a survivor. He wants answers but would rather she focus on getting herself safe first.
He meanwhile, concentrates on the phone calls and the vehicles he's flying between.
It's a few minutes before she gasps. "Sorry, Darling, I had to run. Batman was on the roof with the John."
What.
"Batman just appeared out of nowhere and threw a bucket of mud at the john. Alvin didn't seem to notice, but I did. Batman made eye contact with me, so I ran." She concludes, pushing through her uneven breathing. "I have to go, Darling. Hideout before the Bats lock me up."
"That's alright. Stay safe." Jason tells her, taking a turn sharply as she hangs up the call without another word. The second she does, he double-taps his helmet to connect to the Bat communications.
"Barbie. I need to know what B is up to now."
_________________________________________________________
Bruce watches the Fae shake the mud out of his face after he has scrambled down the fire escape. Tim was at his side in a second, using a handkerchief to gently clean up the Fae's face.
There were a lot of whispered words, but based on what Bruce could pick up from lip reading, Tim had no idea he was up here. He just assumed the Fae got caught up in a juvenile prank.
Oddly enough, that was primarily due to the Fae covering for Bruce.
It was rather disappointing the repealing spell hadn't worked, but the Justice League Dark the mixture of John's Wort, primroses, and marsh marigolds mushed together with water socked in iron during the full moon should have made it possible to force the contact with Tim to break down.
Of course, this had been a desperate attempt, seeing as all the JL Dark had been unsure which method was best when he asked how to get a Fae to leave a human alone.
A lot of debate went into finding a solution, but in the end, Bruce had chosen a mixture repellent. He had even decided to use some holy water and trough in blessed soil and blessed iron just to make it extra powerful.
The magic users had all assured him it would work as long as it touched the Fae skin while Bruce chanted Tim's full legal name. It had felt rather ridiculous dragging a bucket half the size of himself through the city, trying to spot where Tim and his companion were, and even more so when he had sprinted across the rooftop screaming.
"Timothy Jackson Drake! Timothy Jackson Drake! Timothy Jackson Drake!"
The Fae had been in the middle of taking a photo. He set up his camera on a little tripod and, after pressing the time, had run to face the city- back facing Bruce- raising his arms to form a triangle above his head. Based on fact the camera was slightly lower then the Fae's torso, Bruce could deduct her was attempting to capture himself making the triangle top of one of the most iconic buildings in Gotham.
Spear tower.
He waited only long enough for the flash to go off, so by the time the Fae turned around, he had a face full of mud.
It splat all over his front, covering every inch of what should have set Tim free. The silence followed was louder than anything Bruce had ever heard, even as the Fae calmly picked up his camera and scurried to the ground.
Bruce let him go, wondering why he had failed. Thankfully, it seemed Tim and the Fae were getting back in their car- not the food truck for some reason- and were driving away.
Tonight, Bruce would find its lair and get his son home because letting him take a relaxing vacation was alarming to the rest of his children.
He rushed to the Batmobile, climbing into the driver seat and taking off after the pair. As he was driving, he could have sworn Jason just passed by him, moving like the devil was after him.
Bruce wondered briefly if he should check in on his third oldest but thought better of it when he noticed Cass, Dick, and Duke driving right behind Jason on their own bikes. His children had each other backs.
A few hours later, Bruce stood before a large empty field. He had watched the Fae drive into it and vanish from sight. None of his machines could pick up any hint on where they might have gone, but he was reasonably sure there wasn't any teleportation involved.
Sometimes teleportation left some traces in the airwaves. It's how Bruce could track people using the boom tub or find the Flash whenever Barry went on a craze.
Bruce was thinking that this was the Fae's court and his magical home was being protected by supernatural means. He just had to figure out how to get in and Tim out.
As he was considering the field, a soft, distant roar made him reach for his weapons. He turns one hand poise for a throw, his trusted batarangs in between his fingers, only to become surprised when he recognizes the vehicles driving towards him.
It was his spare Batmobile and four bird-themed motorbikes. His children.
"B?" Dick questions after spinning to a stop and sliding right in front of Bruce. He lowers his window, looking at him with apparent confusion despite the Nightwing mask blocking his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"Following a lead on the Fae. What are you doing here?" Bruce asks, lowering his arm but keeping his weapon. He could never be too sure this isn't a trick.
"Following a lead on Tim." Dick responds, stepping out of his car. Two other doors open, and out steps Steph and Damian, both looking posed for a fight. Of all his children, those two tend to be the most territorial and have not taken to Tim being a semi-held hostage well. "Oracle was able to track him through the city cameras after he popped up taking photos."
"hmm"
Jason jogged over to them with Cass not far behind. "Wait,, you got a lead on your cases too? We would check in on Victorian and see if he knew anything about Alvin."
He gestures to those behind him, indicating Cass and Duke, but the daytime hero is not paying attention. Duke was staring at the field, mouth slightly open as if in awe. Bruce straightens once he realizes Duke can probably see or at least detect the magical castle.
"Victorian?" Damian asks, crossing his arms. "Who is that?"
"The owner of the giant mansion we're standing in front of. He's one of my contacts."
"Ugh, not to make you feel crazy, Hoodie," Steph speaks up, placing a hand on the crook of her hip and waving her hand to the field. "But there is literally nothing there
"What are you talking about. This place is bigger than Wayne Manor."
Bruce heard about this. Guests who have been here before or have permission to enter can see glimpses of the Otherworld that Fae deals in. However, it is surprising to know Jason has already been in contact with the Fae before and has not been kept.
Did that throw a wrench in his theory of Tim and Alvin being the same person? Why would the Fae ask Jason to find Tim if he was in the creature's home?
Before anyone could say anything else, a giant gate entrance suddenly manifested mere feet from where Bruce stood. A soft creek was heard as it was thrown open, and a glowing woman in an old mail outfit floated just a foot off the ground on the other side. She eyed them all in an eerie, emotionless face before bending her own into a low bow. "Welcome. My King wishes to invite you in."
Well, that's not ominous at all.
His children shared a look between them, silently letting each other know to be cautious as they followed the floating woman. She led them down an impressive driveway that slowly gave way to a massive mansion.
Bruce fought to keep the surprise off his face. Jason was right. This place was more prominent and grander than his manor. It didn't just scream wealth. It screamed nobility; it screamed royalty.
The group walked into the main hall, some muttering thanks to the bowing woman who opened the doors. "Of course. The King stated that his home would always be open to Master Alvin's kin."
She vanished from sight like mist fading away as soon as they crossed the doorway.
Bruce's eyes instantly landed on the figure standing atop the grand stairs. Tim was gawking at them, wearing nothing but a long, seductive black robe with fluffy collars and wrists. The front of the rob was open, displaying a large amount of chest and thigh, but keeping the significant bits out of sight.
Thankfully.
His skin was glowing, his hair tussled stylishly, and a dozen red roses were in his hands. Tim looked like he was planning a romantic evening in his get-up.
"Oh," He said dumbly. "You're not Danny."
"What the fuck is going on" Jason demanded after a long period of silence.
"Um...I was planning on seducing my friend. What are you all doing?"
"Regretting waking up this morning," Damian demands, pressing a hand over his eyes. "Please get decent. My nightmares are horrid enough."
Bruce nods. "You were Alvin Draper and are romantically involved with the Fae. He seems to be treating you well. That's good."
All of his children stared at him for a long moment before the hall erupted with displeased noises. Bruce was taken aback.
Did none of them know any of this? It seemed obvious to him.
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catgirlthecrazy · 23 hours ago
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When I was two, the daycare told my mother they'd noticed that I was having trouble climbing. It quickly became clear that I had some variety of muscular dystrophy (MD), but there are a million different kinds of that, each with wildly different causes and outcomes. The problem was, the version that I had hadn't been discovered yet, and wouldn't be for another decade and a half. So my poor mother spent the next several years taking me from specialist to specialist, listening to them discuss a whole lot of really scary-sounding possibilities, but getting no clear answers on which ones I actually had.
It was when they started discussing doing a third muscle biopsy (which required putting me under general anesthesia so they could cut out a slice of my leg) that my mom finally asked the question that redefined how she approached this: will the information you learn from this test actually make my child's life better? And the answer she got was "probably not."
You see, there are any number of things that can go wrong on a cellular level that results in your muscles not working right, and most of them we have barely any idea how to fix. Which means that, for most forms of MD, the treatment is really just symptom management. A diagnosis can tell you something about how quickly the disease might progress, but by this point, several years had passed without my symptoms changing much, so that was less of a concern.
So from the age of eight onward, the only specialist I saw was a pediatric physiatrist who focused on just symptom management. And my childhood got 10000% calmer.
I did eventually get a proper diagnosis almost by accident at age 20, when that same physiatrist recommended me for an NIH study run by a scientist researching rare forms of MD. And while there were some benefits (it was nice to have some advance warning before my symptoms started worsening in my mid twenties), it ultimately changed very little about my treatment.
Tldr: answers at all costs aren't necessarily with it
A doctor discovers an important question patients should be asked
This patient isn’t usually mine, but today I’m covering for my partner in our family-practice office, so he has been slipped into my schedule.
Reading his chart, I have an ominous feeling that this visit won’t be simple.
A tall, lanky man with an air of quiet dignity, he is 88. His legs are swollen, and merely talking makes him short of breath.
He suffers from both congestive heart failure and renal failure. It’s a medical Catch-22: When one condition is treated and gets better, the other condition gets worse. His past year has been an endless cycle of medication adjustments carried out by dueling specialists and punctuated by emergency-room visits and hospitalizations.
Hemodialysis would break the medical stalemate, but my patient flatly refuses it. Given his frail health, and the discomfort and inconvenience involved, I can’t blame him.
Now his cardiologist has referred him back to us, his primary-care providers. Why send him here and not to the ER? I wonder fleetingly.
With us is his daughter, who has driven from Philadelphia, an hour away. She seems dutiful but wary, awaiting the clinical wisdom of yet another doctor.
After 30 years of practice, I know that I can’t possibly solve this man’s medical conundrum.
A cardiologist and a nephrologist haven’t been able to help him, I reflect,so how can I? I’m a family doctor, not a magician. I can send him back to the ER, and they’ll admit him to the hospital. But that will just continue the cycle… .
Still, my first instinct is to do something to improve the functioning of his heart and kidneys. I start mulling over the possibilities, knowing all the while that it’s useless to try.
Then I remember a visiting palliative-care physician’s words about caring for the fragile elderly: “We forget to ask patients what they want from their care. What are their goals?”
I pause, then look this frail, dignified man in the eye.
“What are your goals for your care?” I ask. “How can I help you?”
The patient’s desire
My intuition tells me that he, like many patients in their 80s, harbors a fund of hard-won wisdom.
He won’t ask me to fix his kidneys or his heart, I think. He’ll say something noble and poignant: “I’d like to see my great-granddaughter get married next spring,” or “Help me to live long enough so that my wife and I can celebrate our 60th wedding anniversary.”
His daughter, looking tense, also faces her father and waits.
“I would like to be able to walk without falling,” he says. “Falling is horrible.”
This catches me off guard.
That’s all?
But it makes perfect sense. With challenging medical conditions commanding his caregivers’ attention, something as simple as walking is easily overlooked.
A wonderful geriatric nurse practitioner’s words come to mind: “Our goal for younger people is to help them live long and healthy lives; our goal for older patients should be to maximize their function.”
Suddenly I feel that I may be able to help, after all.
“We can order physical therapy — and there’s no need to admit you to the hospital for that,” I suggest, unsure of how this will go over.
He smiles. His daughter sighs with relief.
“He really wants to stay at home,” she says matter-of-factly.
As new as our doctor-patient relationship is, I feel emboldened to tackle the big, unspoken question looming over us.
“I know that you’ve decided against dialysis, and I can understand your decision,” I say. “And with your heart failure getting worse, your health is unlikely to improve.”
He nods.
“We have services designed to help keep you comfortable for whatever time you have left,” I venture. “And you could stay at home.”
Again, his daughter looks relieved. And he seems … well … surprisingly fine with the plan.
I call our hospice service, arranging for a nurse to visit him later today to set up physical therapy and to begin plans to help him to stay comfortable — at home.
Back home
Although I never see him again, over the next few months I sign the order forms faxed by his hospice nurses. I speak once with his granddaughter. It’s somewhat hard on his wife to have him die at home, she says, but he’s adamant that he wants to stay there.
A faxed request for sublingual morphine (used in the terminal stages of dying) prompts me to call to check up on him.
The nurse confirms that he is near death.
I feel a twinge of misgiving: Is his family happy with the process that I set in place? Does our one brief encounter qualify me to be his primary-care provider? Should I visit them all at home?
Two days later, and two months after we first met, I fill out his death certificate.
Looking back, I reflect: He didn’t go back to the hospital, he had no more falls, and he died at home, which is what he wanted. But I wonder if his wife felt the same.
Several months later, a new name appears on my patient schedule: It’s his wife.
“My family all thought I should see you,” she explains.
She, too, is in her late 80s and frail, but independent and mentally sharp. Yes, she is grieving the loss of her husband, and she’s lost some weight. No, she isn’t depressed. Her husband died peacefully at home, and it felt like the right thing for everyone.
“He liked you,” she says.
She’s suffering from fatigue and anemia. About a year ago, a hematologist diagnosed her with myelodysplasia (a bone marrow failure, often terminal). But six months back, she stopped going for medical care.
I ask why.
“They were just doing more and more tests,” she says. “And I wasn’t getting any better.”
Now I know what to do. I look her in the eye and ask:
“What are your goals for your care, and how can I help you?”
-Mitch Kaminski
Source
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junoblivion · 2 days ago
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Imagine satisfying Suguru's needs.
Contains: afab Suguru. Amab reader. Riding. Dub-con? Maybe non-con?. It's implied that Suguru drugged you. Doggy. Based on something I saw. Anal, and vaginal. Fisting(?). Someone walks in but they don't get caught!. Blow job, boobjob. OOC maybe. Spit (only once). Sub(?)top reader. Dom(?)bottom Suguru. Afab and amab anatomy described.
Imagine you were a non-sorcerer and had got caught snooping around Suguru's temple. Suguru had sent you to a dungeon where "monkeys" as he would call people like you were placed, but something was different about you.
Late at night, he entered the dungeon where he found you in your cell, passed out. He dragged you to his room where he undressed you and tied you to the bed.
When you had woken up, you were confused and felt like your mind was foggy. Why were you here? Weren't you in the dungeon waiting for your death?
All of those questions were cut when Suguru had entered the room wearing black lingerie. Under different circumstances, you would've horny at the sight but you were currently trying to understand what was going on.
Suguru had started venting to you saying how he's so annoyed that everyone kept asking for favors and appointments on his own birthday. How he never has time to satisfy his needs. Obviously from what you learned, he was sexually frustrated.
He walked up to you, got on his knees, and looked at your dick that was hardening. "You're certainly big, aren't you? However, that's no problem," he said.
Even though it was a sight to see a pretty man on his knees for you, you were uncomfortable to say the least. Your wrists wiggling to release themselves from their chains. Your wrists faltered however when Suguru had began to suck you off.
He moaned as he could feel every vein, licked the tip, pressed his tongue flat against the underside of your cock. You swore he had no gag reflex as you felt his throat swallow you deeper and deeper. Groans and moans threatening to leave your throat and throughout your lips.
Suguru had felt himself become wet and made his fingers go to his hole and inserted his fingers. He felt his eyes go back, something about blowing someone off and fingering himself felt so amazing. He felt your load down his throat and swallowed every drop.
He lifted his mouth off with a smile but it soon dropped when a small drop of semen fell on his lingerie bra. He smacked you across the face before saying," ugh, now I have to change. So annoying." He got up and left to change.
While he was gone, you broke free and tried to run. You only got passed the bed before you fell. You felt weak and your eyes were blurry. Suguru came out laughing but the only thing you could focus on was his naked body.
"did you really think I wouldn't take precautions?" The pretty man said. It sounded like gibberish to you though.
"Would you like me to cure you from your state?" He asked, and you nodded. He got to your face and let a drop of saliva fall into your mouth, and kissed you.
After the kiss, your vision was no longer blurry but you felt yourself be more aroused than usual. Suguru smiled at your slowly rising penis and pressed his man tits around it. Making his breasts up and down with his hands.
You held in your moans as Suguru was holding eye contact with you. You soon came but you were still hard, did he give you some sort of drug?
Suguru smiled once more before positioning himself above your cock. He lowered himself on your cock, letting a satisfied sigh. "It's been so long since I've had a dick in me," he mumbled.
Suguru had begun moving up and down, going faster and faster each time. You, on the other hand, were silent and watching as his pussy moved. Listening to his moans, the squelching of his cunt and your dick, and skin slapping against skin.
You watched as one of Suguru's fingers touched his clit. Suguru's moans were much louder as he stimulated himself from both pleasure points.
"fuck! I forgot how-" his moans interrupted him before continuing, "good this felt!". You didn't listen to what he was saying, you were too hypnotized by his cunt going up and down, and how he rolled his hips side to side, back and forth.
Suguru stopped as he creamed your cock. His back arching as he could feel your cum inside, painting his insides white.
Pants and body heat warmed the room.
Suguru composed himself for a moment before turning around, and riding once more. You felt your soft cock hardening.
He made you change the position and he was on all fours while you were behind, your hands around his hips. "move," he ordered, you obeyed his command and began moving at a slow pace. He let out soft moans before saying, "Mhm, go faster" he asked. You nodded and rolled your hips faster, Suguru let out wanton moans and tried meeting your hips. White creamy rings were forming around your cock
You removed one of your hands from his hips and slowly reached for his soft ebony hair. In the back of your head, you wondered, 'damn, what's his haircare routine?' you shook your head and grabbed his hair before pulling his hair. Suguru let out a loud moan, which you silently winced at (you hoped no one heard), and came. You continued your thrusts chasing your release. Suguru had become sensitive and tears left his eyes, moaning while his pussy spasmed around your dick.
You came to a stop and pulled Suguru close, shooting your release as deep as you can which made Suguru whimper.
You both tried catching your breath, however, Suguru's heart dropped as he could distinctly hear foots coming towards his bedroom door. He pushed you out of him and dragged you behind a dressing curtain.
"Master Geto? Are you alright?" Ah, a follower of Suguru had come in to check on him.
"I-I'm alright!" Suguru said bending over to make his head peek out the curtain. "Oh, there you are. I was hoping to speak with you since the events you organized are coming up," the follower says. Suguru nodded and asked the individual to just say what they needed. The follower nodded before listing the things that needed to be done.
You, however, wanted to piss him off as revenge for throwing you in a dungeon (you had not forgotten), and slowly inserted your dick inside of him. Suguru let out a silent moan before trying to smack you. You didn't care as you rolled your hips, careful to not make any noise. Suguru gripped the curtain and hoped his follower would leave.
"and we need to take in the fact Gojo satoru doesn't know what you and your group are trying to distract everyone so you can take Yuta." The follower stated.
You raised an eyebrow as you felt Suguru's cunt squeeze you at the mention of this man 'Satoru Gojo'.
Suguru nodded at his follower's words, and mentioned something you didn't care for. You thrusted faster which made it hard for Suguru. Tears were coming from Suguru's purple eyes and begged whatever force above would make his follower leave.
Before you came, you quickly left Suguru's sticky pussy and entered his ass which made Suguru falter.
Suguru whimpered which made his follower turn around, "are you alright? Should I leave?"
"Yes!" Suguru said, slightly yelling at the end, "I mean I'm not feeling too good so-" he choked out "come back later."
The follower nodded and left.
After Suguru made sure the person was gone, he let out the moans he was holding. "Fuck! Come in me, already!" Suguru moaned. You soon came as if your body was listening and waiting for his permission.
You pulled out as cum slid out of his ass. You scooped the leaving semen and shoved it back in. Suguru was completely sobbing from pleasure, he made a note to keep you.
You thrust your fist back and forth. Suguru's eyes roll back and his tongue hangs. You stop and pull out your fist.
Suguru panted and gained his composer. Suguru cleared his throat before summoning a curse to knock you out.
Before you fell into the abyss, you heard the man say, "Do that again, and I'll make sure you'll never wake up permanently."
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diekatimitdemhutohnehut · 2 days ago
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I get where op is coming from. I too really enjoy putting my phone away and doing something in the physical world.
And it does give me mental release from my online chores. There are things I neet to do on my phone that are not fun.
There was a time I was spending hours on youtube shorts. Opening the app immobilised me to the point I couldn't get my real life chores done. The solution was not to put my phone away but to delete the YouTube app.
I now have greentube installed. It's YouTube with far less ads and the shorts are in an extra tab that I never open.
I can get things done again. I do them while longer videos are playing. The problem with the shorts format was the constant need to use my finger to scroll. Long format videos are hands free.
It's not about brain span. It's about available hands for me.
Before I had a phone I would have listened to the radio or my MP3 player or a cd. Hell, I sometimes do my chores listening to vinyl. I still use all of the ones above. But the phone is the only thing where I can get up to date and new information.
When I visit my parents house, they too use their phones. I have a strict rule for myself: no phones at the dinner table. My parents don't follow this rule. And when my little niece and nephew are around, they ask if they can watch something on my parents phone. Because they see them use the phone constantly. And want to participate.
But suddenly, the little kids are "addicted to phones". No, they are not. They want to imitate you. Because that is how kids learn.
I wish it was easier to talk about mobile phone addiction without sounding like a boomer
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dilfologies · 3 days ago
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older stepbro!suguru that's getting annoyed by his sister being jealous and touchy - just because he has a girlfriend
omg he’d get so sick of you coming into his room while he’s on the phone with his new girlfriend and sitting next to him on his bed, grabbing at his muscular bicep and pulling it close to your chest to rest your head on it. he’d try to pull it away, but you would not budge!
you could hear his girlfriend speaking through the phone, and you rolled your eyes at the mere sound of her voice.
“suguru, you okay?” she questioned. as she spoke, you trailed your hand down his abdomen until you reached his waistband and he grabbed your wrist harshly. he gave you an authoritative glare that you would’ve listened to if not for the fact that he’s been on the phone with her practically all day.
suguru sighed, letting go of your wrist. “yeah, sorry. my sister’s just bothering me,” he pressed the mute button and turned his head towards you. “the fuck is your problem?”
“you’ve been talking to her all day,” you whined, “i’m bored.”
suguru scoffed. “not my problem.”
other times, when his girlfriend is at the house and they’re watching a movie in the living room, you’d come down in your shorts that showed off a little too much of your ass, and sit right on top of his lap when his girlfriend would saunter off to the bathroom.
you’d whisper in his ear, “i miss you, sugu… y’sposed to hang out with your little sister.”
your breath fawned on his neck and suguru closed his eyes momentarily, a mix of annoyance and temptation visible on his features. his breath hitched when you wiggled your ass a little, putting pressure on his soft cock that you were just aching for.
“i can’t believe you’re acting like this,” he groaned. you only grinned in response before placing a hand on the side of his face, cupping his jaw and sliding the pad of your thumb across his bottom lip.
“is it so hard to believe that i want you for myself?”
suguru should’ve stopped you when you started leaning closer. he should’ve pushed you away and off of his lap. he shouldn’t have allowed you to swipe your tongue along his lips before placing your soft lips on his.
but he didn’t, and now here he was, caught in a whirlwind of emotions as he kissed you back with hesitation. what he was doing was wrong in so many ways. for christ’s sake, his girlfriend was just down the hall! she could walk in any time. but suguru was too swept up in the heat of the moment to form a coherent thought.
you, on the other hand, were hoping she walked in on this scene of you straddling your step brother’s—her boyfriend’s—lap, grinding down on his hard cock. maybe she would make a scene, declaring the relationship over and storming out the door. or perhaps she would make a silent exit and leave you to get fucked by suguru right where she had sat on the couch.
either way, you knew your little half-devised plan had worked when you and suguru were interrupted by a voice coming from the front of the hallway.
“what. the. fuck.”
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muletia · 3 days ago
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[tfp] obsessed!orion pax x human!reader valveplug, minors don't interact!
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based on this delicious ask about orion overloading from inhaling your pheromones and some tags provided by @tom-foolery-incorporated <3
word count: 800
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Holding Orion’s helm on both sides, you pull him toward you, feeling no resistance from the startled mech. His faceplate lands against your chest, and you immediately envelop him in warmth, letting him sink into the softness of your human body. The familiar shape of your torso and the rhythmic symphony of your heartbeat give him a sense of comfort and belonging, as if, after a long, exhausting day, he has finally found his way home. Orion lifts his optics to you and smiles in gratitude, though you cannot see the expression.
“I missed you,” you murmur tenderly, pressing a kiss to the top of his helm.
“I am glad that our feelings…” he begins, but his words are abruptly cut off by the sudden, unfamiliar scent flooding his olfactory sensors.
It is sweet, unmistakably yours, yet tainted with something unknown — something he cannot name. Has no time to analyze it before the scent overwhelms him, urging to flee, to pull away before it does irreversible damage to his processor. Escaping should not be a challenge; after all, you are not restraining him, granting him full freedom to move. But the problem is that he hesitates to run.
One breath. Then another. And another. Each inhale draws the scent deeper, seeping into his very core, coating his spark, his tank, until it finally reaches the most sensitive parts of his frame, teasing them mercilessly. It creeps behind his interface panel, wrapping around his spike and valve, luring them into a dance with the desire that consumes him in an instant. Just moments ago, all he had wanted was to hold you close, whispering sweet words in your ear, but now — now, the image of sliding his spike into your tight, burning-hot folds is the only thought left in his processor. The only thing he wants to think about. The only thing he can.
Orion takes another involuntary breath, stress-induced from the sudden onslaught of overwhelming need, and it seals his fate.
“[Name]!” he cries out, voice breaking. His concealed spike spasms, and from its tip, thick strands of pink transfluid spill out, splattering against his panel before slowly dripping downward, seeping into the seams, finding their way out. Some rivulets trail down his thighs, while others pool onto the floor beneath him.
“Orion, did you just come?” you ask bluntly. Watching the way his back arches, his optics roll upward, and listening to the symphony of his stifled moans, you are certain of the answer. You should be surprised — after all, you had barely given him any real stimulation to get him to overload — but you know your partner well enough to have learned just how little he needs to unravel. Still, the meaner part of you, the one that always surfaces when Orion is deliciously pathetic, wants to see undeniable evidence of his overload.
“Move your head. I want to see.”
“Ah!” Orion whimpers. “N-No, do not look,” he pleads, suddenly ashamed of the intensity of his own desperation.
His embarrassment does not last long, though, because Orion does not want to pull away. He does not want to lose this intoxicating sense of helplessness, this loss of control that breathing in your scent grants him. He wants to stay right here, drunk on your sweetness.
You roll your eyes. “Oh, now you’re getting shy? Please, I’ve seen you worse.”
“Mhm,” he mumbles, barely processing your words. He inhales again, this time intentionally, and just like before, your scent floods his body. His still-hard, aching spike throbs, pleading for another overload, and his valve clenches around nothing, echoing the demand. He has no choice but to take in more of your scent, to drown himself in it. He presses himself against you harder, as if trying to meld into your body, rubbing his faceplate against your chest in a desperate chase for another untouched, hands-free climax.
Forgetting his own immense strength, he unwittingly forces you several steps backward, making you struggle to keep your balance.
“Hey!” you yelp, giving him a light, scolding pat on the helm. “I almost fell!”
That, finally, seems to snap him out of it — at least for a moment. Orion lifts his optics to meet yours, guilt flickering in his gaze. “A-apologies,” he murmurs, but his focus does not last long. He immediately buries his faceplate back against you, sensitive olfactory sensors dragging over your torso, trying to provoke another overload.
“Ah! [Name], please, help me!” he whines, his voice raw with need. He has to be inside you. Needs to ground himself, to find something solid to cling to, or else he fears he will completely lose his mind.
You sigh, feigning exasperation. “As you wish, love.” and Orion hurriedly retracts his transfluid-slick interface panel.
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ruinix · 1 day ago
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Quinn with a size kink. Out of his mind aroused fucking his girl who is a lot smaller than him.
Lovely anon, lovely.. i don't write.I mean, I do but i've never tried an RPF or drabble. Just fictional men on my secret AO3. So I don't want to disappoint but i'll try for you... It won't be good though so yes, put the bar down. I beg 🧎🏻‍♀️
How does one do this? TW/CW: 18+ MDNI, Smut, Size Kink (as requested...slightly if you squint), Mild choking, Unprotected sex (please use protection)
Count: 731 words
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You are so small. Quinn fucking loves that. It's not your height. No. It's everything else.
It's your hands that seek his every time you two go out. The same ones that run down his back, his nape, his hair. Your trimmed nails--or your acrylics--that scratches his scalp. You are always so gentle in touching him that he would always fall asleep on you, beside you, or underneath you. So small as you dig them into his skin as he fucks you long and deep.
It's your feet on his palms when he helps you wear your heels. Your ankles are so easily dwarfed by his hands when he fastens the anklets--with both of your initials engraved on the little silver hearts--he gifted you for your birthday. So tiny as he kisses them when he puts them over his shoulder, his cock filling every inch of your wet cunt.
It's your soft and supple lips giving him featherlight kisses. On his cheek, his jaw, his nose, his eyelids, his eyebrows, then his lips. It always ends with his lips. Your kisses are soft and warm and oh, so careful. Until he shoves his tongue pass your lips, swallowing your needy gasps and whines.
It's your neck that was a blank canvas before him. You've never liked necklaces until he gifted you one after another. Every time you give him a hug, he would smell your choice of perfume for the day--vanilla, rose, lavender, jasmine, blackberry, caramel, or whatever the fuck, you simply smells beautiful. So pretty and delicate with his hand wrapped around it, feeling your pulse the vibrations of your soft moans, controlling your breaths, your oxygen, your life. Your hand grips his wrist, the silvery glint of your matching bracelets only made him squeeze. So fucking small.
It's your thick thighs that you always moisturize with lotion. He's reaping the benefits of touching them when you let him. Of looking at them when you wear your little panties around the apartment. Of seeing them be covered with jeans or sweatpants or pajamas. Of seeing them spread wide, trembling and quivering as his cock disappears into your pussy between them. Of seeing them so wet with your mess, so red from his slaps, his grip, his thrusts.
It's your soft voice. One time you said you had a strange voice, but it's never strange. You sound so beautiful. He can listen to you ramble about your day, your problems, your interests without getting sick of your voice. Your voice is music, melodic, tantalizingly exquisite. So high and whiney as he slows down to keep your orgasm at bay. So hypnotic that he almost let you cum right then and there.
It's your eyes that are always so understanding and patient even when he came home frustrated from a game loss. Your eyes that will smile and crinkle at the sides, already knowing his excitement when he's keeping it at bay. You see his soul. He sees yours. He sees when your happy or sad or angry or upset or zoned out. So devastatingly beautiful as your eyes burn when he's not moving as you would like. So breathtaking when your pupils dilate when he started fucking you harder.
You're so fucking small yet you take him so well.
Your pussy that felt like it's custom-made for him. Always so wet. Always so eager for his taking. Your pussy tightens, quivering around his cock. The sounds of your groans and his, of his cock sinking into your pussy, are getting to his head.
Small. So fucking small that he wants to consume all of you. Your pussy. Your face. Your body. Your gentle and soft and warm soul. How can perfection fits so well in your small body?
He wants all of you that it fucking aches that this would have to stop. So he prolongs it. He fucks you slower when he can feel you almost cumming again and again and again. He kisses you, hungry for your taste, hungry for your whines.
He's so close, but not yet. Not fucking yet because he has to fuck you until you couldn't live on without him. Until you go as feral that you would finally shout at him. His little ball of fire. He wants you to fucking crave him as much as he already does.
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cloverapple · 2 days ago
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How To Let Go
First things first; drop the idea that reading this will magically make you shift. If you’re here thinking “Oh, I’ll read this, I’ll let go, and then I’ll shift” stop! right! there! I know you want to shift, I know you want to get your desire, but you are missing the whole point of why you want to let go in the first place!
Second if all; there’s no one way to let go because there’s no one thing you’re letting go of. And that’s where most people trip up. You hear it everywhere:
”Just let go!”
“Release!”
“Detach!”
Like it’s some effortless switch you can flip on command regardless of how your unique mind works 😑
And then when you can’t, you start to feel like a failure, like you cannot accomplish this very basic thing that everyone seems to be doing so effortlessly.
Well my darling, listen to me: this is not your fault. You not being able to let go has nothing to do with how capable you are, how lucky you are, or how “primed” your mind is. None of that.
The mind fixates. That’s what it does. If shifting is a huge desire for you, you don’t just drop it overnight. If your DR is playing on a loop in your head, of course you’re going to latch onto it. If every time you go to bed, you secretly hope to wake up in your DR, your brain is still holding on. And yeah, it sucks. Because suddenly your dedication feels like a burden. You start asking “Why can’t I just let go? What’s wrong with me?”
Been there, felt that.
I’m going to tell you exactly why letting go is something anyone can do, and how you can start immediately—without the mental stress that usually comes with it.
But first, let’s clear something up: Letting go is not a quick fix for shifting. It’s not some miracle pill that guarantees success. For some people, yes, letting go is the missing piece. But for others, the real problem isn’t that they need to let go—it’s that they need trust and patience in themselves. And because they’ve been told that “letting go” is the thing to do, they beat themselves up for not being able to do it. When in reality, they were fine all along.
So first of all, figure out if letting go is what you actually need in your journey. If it's not, and you suddenly remember that you’ve found success while holding on, great! If not, let's move on.
So, what does “letting go” actually mean?
A lot of people hear it and think it means quitting, cutting shifting out of their lives, turning away from their DR, walking away completely. And yeah, that is one way to let go. But it’s not the only way. Let’s break it down the different ways there are to let go:
• Letting go of trying to shift – A.K.A what I talked about in this post. You still think of your DR, you still daydream, maybe you meditate at night with no intention to shift, you go about it like you already have it because you do. Stop it. Stop trying to shift.
• Letting go of expectation – You keep doing your methods, you stick to your routine, but you drop the pressure. No more “when will it happen?” You do it just because you enjoy it. You stop putting a deadline on shifting. You let go of when it will happen and just let it unfold.
• Letting go of your DR – You still shift, but you step back from your DR itself. Maybe you try a different DR for fun, maybe you explore WRs or fun, relaxing realities. You turn your focus elsewhere.
• Letting go of shifting itself – You stay in tune with expanding your awareness, but you do this by focusing on lucid dreaming, astral projection, or any other practice for a while. You take the pressure off shifting entirely by trying something new.
• The ‘fuck this shit’ mentality – You throw your hands up and stop giving a damn. Ironically, this one works better than you’d think.
• Letting go of perfection – You don’t need to do everything perfectly, follow every method flawlessly, or maintain some imagined “high vibrational state” 24/7. Stop striving for an ideal and just exist.
• Letting go of comparison – Stop looking at other people who claim to have shifted and measuring yourself against them. Their journey is not yours, and comparison only fuels frustration. Can you imagine driving your car, on the way to go pick up your brand new sport’s car, but you keep looking out the window because someone in the next lane is already driving a sport’s car?? YOU’RE GOING TO CRASH. EYES ON THE ROAD.
• Letting go of guilt – If you feel bad for not shifting yet, for wanting a break, or for feeling stuck, release that guilt. You don’t owe shifting anything. Shifting is you. You don’t owe yourself anything other than peace, trust and love.
• Letting go of attachment to results – Focus on the process rather than the outcome. Enjoy the journey, the experiences, and the growth that come with it. This is the thing I wish I knew at the very start of my journey, not because it would have made me shift faster, but because in hindsight, there’s so much fun in figuring out what works for you, discovering yourself, and the excitement pre-shifting to your DR.
• Letting go of fear – Fear of failure, fear of missing out, fear of doing something wrong, fear of shifting (which warrants another post in itself). Releasing fear allows for a more open, relaxed mindset.
• Letting go of overthinking and self-doubt – Stop analyzing every little thought, feeling, or experience. Your mind doesn’t need to be in constant problem-solving mode. You already know how to shift. You already have your desire/ your desire will manifest in the 3D. You are a creator. You are the god of your reality. If overthinking and stressing out solved anything, no one in the world would have problems.
• Letting go of rules – There are no strict guidelines for shifting. You don’t have to follow what someone else says. Make your own path.
But how do you actually let go?
When you let go, you do so from one of three places: peace, exhaustion, or indifference. To truly let go, you need to lean into one of these.
1. Peace – If what your mind craves is peace, you let go by accepting that your desires are either already yours or inevitably coming. You trust your ability to create and shift, so you stop chasing and start relaxing. Letting go from this state means stepping back, breathing easy, and knowing there’s nothing more you need to do—just be.
"Oh, easier said than done!" Yeah, that’s why we have the next two.
2. Exhaustion – If you’ve reached the point where you’re just tired, use it. Letting go through exhaustion means recognizing that you physically and mentally can’t keep stressing over this anymore. You’ve burned yourself out, and the only thing left to do is stop. Stop trying so hard, stop overthinking, stop forcing. Let yourself collapse into that exhaustion and let go because you have no energy left to hold on.
3. Indifference – This is the "fuck it" approach. Letting go through indifference means deciding that you simply do not care anymore—about shifting, about waiting, about the whole damn thing. Not in a bitter way, not in a frustrated way, just… whatever. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, you’ll be fine. You’ve got a life to live, and you’re not about to waste it worrying over something that isn’t here yet.
No matter which one you lean into, the result is the same: freedom. You stop gripping so tightly. You stop making shifting feel like a desperate struggle. And in that space—wherever you land—letting go happens naturally.
There’s no right or wrong way to let go
Think of it as a spectrum. You let go at your own pace, in a way that feels right for you. Because here’s the truth—holding onto your DR, staying in the cycle of frustration, it hurts. But it’s also comfortable. It’s familiar. And the mind loves familiarity.
Everyone has something different they need to let go of. For some, it’s their attachment to results. For others, it’s the pressure to be perfect. Maybe it’s the need to control the process or the fear of what happens if they succeed. Letting go isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution/It’s about recognizing what is keeping you stuck and unhappy, and making the conscious choice to release it.
So, instead of forcing yourself to drown in the ocean of your desire, because you thought throwing youself in would force yourself to know how to shift, just grab a floatie. You already know how to swim. You just have to remember, and until you do, relax and let go.
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mwahsol · 10 hours ago
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I see you
Description: You are obvious about your feelings towards her. Recently her most recent “fling” dumps her claiming that all she can talk about is you, every topic you are somehow in some way mentioned. Paige being confused doesn't understand what she's talking about, you are just her friend right? The more she thinks about it, the more she starts questioning your “friendship.” One night while hanging out with your guys teammates everything comes crashing down. 
Since tomorrow is my birthday I've decided to be nice and come back from the dead :) also, WHY IS IT SO HARD TO HAVE MOTIVATION TO WRITE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS. Anyways enjoy babe.....
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Since the first time you had laid your eyes upon her, you knew you would fall in love with her. How could you not love her, when you first got recruited you were nervous that you wouldn't get along with the team seeing as how you were naturally more reserved but as soon as you entered that gym Paige instantly welcomed you with open arms. She broke down all of your walls and you slowly but surely became closer with everyone, she brought you out of your shell. Whenever you needed a partner during practice she was instantly at your side touching you in some way showing her eagerness to play with you, right by your side. When she couldn't sleep she would beeline to your room, she would crawl right in next to you on your bed seeing if you wanted to go somewhere with her or wanted to keep sleeping. To you it didn't matter what you did, you just wanted to be with her, so if she wanted to go shoot around at 2 am or sleep next to you and listen to your podcasts with you, without a doubt, you would do it. At first, you genuinely believed that this was how best friends were, you just loved her. After your first year, you slowly started to realize that you fell in love with Paige Bueckers. Maybe she could love you too, right?
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After three years on the team and two years being in love with her, you started dropping hints throughout of your feelings but she never noticed. You watched her hold others the way you would dream of being held by her, you saw how she would wrap her hands around their waists, how she would lean down to whisper into their ears about how beautiful they looked that night. How could she not notice that you spent hours getting ready to feel pretty for yourself but a part of you wanted Paige to tell you that she thought you looked beautiful. All of the girls she would hold always seemed completely different to you, you would compare yourself to them. You couldn't be mad though they weren't at fault, how could they have known that you would give anything for Paige to look at you how she looked at them? Selfishly you would always wonder why them. Why not you?
You watched her kiss them. Paige has never been shy about affection, so to her kissing girls while her teammates were near has never been a problem. Unfortunately, you always seemed to look at her when she was kissing them like her life depended on them. The way she would bring their hips near hers, her hands holding their jaws gently, how she would smile into their kiss knowing they enjoyed it. You saw it all. You could only watch with envy in your eyes, you prayed countless times that she would kiss you like you were oxygen. As soon as you saw their kiss you would turn away and go to one of your teammates and cry to them. They all knew about your love for the blue-eyed blonde, they could all see how you looked at her like she hung the constellations in the sky, they saw all the tears you would shed for her, they saw everything Paige didn't. How could they see if but she just didn't.
All you could do was watch as Paige would run around the door asking everyone if her outfit was good enough for a date, she always comes to you first. Why does she have to torture you more. Why does she have to taunt you. In all fairness, she didn't know that every time she would come and excitedly tell you about how she asked a girl out on a date, it would eat you alive. You felt like you couldn't breathe every time you imagined what their date was like. Would it be how you always envisioned your dates with her? If you told her you loved her would it change anything? Would she drop everything and tell you she has been in love with you too?
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As the clock shows 2:16 am, you get up giving up on trying to go to bed. Sliping into your bunny slippers you walk to Azzi’s room, you know she's most likely asleep but maybe she's up watching a Netflix show or something. To your luck you're right.
“Hey bun, couldn't sleep?” She asks knowing why but she'll let you rant.
“Nope my brain won't shut off,” you say as you take off your slippers to climb into bed with her. Slipping yourself into her side, making her arm drape over your shoulders while you hug her midsection you can hear her hum.
“Why? Wanna talk about it?” If Azzi was honest with herself she was shocked Paige hadn't noticed that you have worshiped the ground she walks on.
“Just thinking about all the stuff with P.” Since she left for her date at 9 it's been all you could think about, you will end up driving yourself crazy by how much you think about her on dates that aren't with you.
“You know all that thinking will make your head even bigger than it already is,” she giggles as you look at her with fake offense and shove her gently but when you both stop laughing she softly says, “Bun you both are some of my closest friends but maybe you should try out dating too, see what's out there.”
Her words echo through your head, since you started playing at Uconn you never really dated. Your main focus has always been playing and your academics, then the realization of your feelings for your blond teammate happened and that shut the door of dating for you. You never even thought about dating anyone that wasn't Paige, you knew no matter who it was they wouldn't compare. Their laugh wouldn't be hers, the way their hands would touch you wouldn't be the warm hands of the blue-eyed player, their lips wouldn’t be the ones you dreamt about, they wouldn't be Paige. It wouldn't be fair to give someone else hope of a future with you when your future slept right next to you most nights. Your heart would never be theirs, your heart will be on the court with her.
“I don't know if I could even act like I could see something with them,” when Azzi hears the sadness in your voice she can't help but want to call Paige and yell at her about how blind she is. “You don't have to see it anymore than as a casual date, find someone you think is cute then go for it, or next time someone asks you say yes.”
When you go to say that wouldn't know where to start she cuts you off. “And don't you dare say you don't know who because I've seen multiple boys and girls ask you out but you always say no. Just go on one then see how you feel about it bun.” She says teasing but also encouraging you to get outside of your bubble a bit, maybe you'll find a way to be ok with Paige not reciprocating your feelings. Maybe.
“You guys won't ever let the bun name go huh?” You ask hoping to change the subject.
“As long as you wear those slippers I don't think so, they're cute though,” she hopes you give it some thought though, she and everyone hate seeing you heartbroken. Maybe just maybe this way Paige could see what everyone else sees.
While you fall asleep you can't help but think that maybe it's a good idea.
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By the time Paige gets home it's almost 4 am. Her heads was killing her from all the arguing she and her most recent “fling” were having. She wanted to come home earlier but as soon as she heard your name be brought up negatively she instantly started arguing till her throat was sore. As she unlocked the front door she knew she wanted to see you, when she opened your door and saw your empty bed her heart stopped. Where did you go? As she pulls out her phone to check Life360 she sees that your location is here at the dorm.
“She's sleeping in my bed.” Paige flinches not expecting anyone else to be awake much less Azzi.
“Why?” She doesn't know why but knowing that you're not in your bed makes her uneasy, but you being in someone else's bed that isn't hers makes her skin crawl. Why? She's never had a problem with it before? It could be that even when you would sleep in someone else's bed besides hers she would still be laying next to you bothering whoever's bed you both lay on. No that couldn't be it, right? She wasn't jealous.
“Couldn't sleep.” Azzi knows the blonde like the back of her hand. Why couldn't Paige figure out that she was in love with you too.
Whenever Paige held someone she almost had to force herself to. The feeling of them close to her made her feel wrong but she took it as maybe she lost feeling for them so she would cut them off, find someone else, and the cycle repeated. Anytime she would compliment the girls she would be seeing she would only compliment things that reminded her of you. When she would kiss them she would allow herself to pretend they were you, desperately pulling them into her grasping at the image of you being the one she was kissing instead, feeling herself smile at the daydream of you. When she would feel eyes on her she would pull away from the kiss seeing you walking towards the team, why did her heart hurt, why did she feel guilty that you saw her kissing someone? She's never had a problem kissing anyone in front of her team but when you would look all she wanted to do was wipe her lips and try to explain things to you, but explain what, you both were friends. When she would dress up for dates she would come to you first wanting to hear your opinion on how she looked, she would always seek approval from you first. But you were both just friends, right? Right. She's just overthinking.
“Oh ok, I'll just go to bed then.” With a small nod, Paige turns to go to her room until Azzi opens her mouth.
“Why were you looking for her?” Come on P, say something Azzi can't help but want to get a reaction out of her so maybe she could also see how in love she is with you. Hoping to push her best friend to see her true feelings maybe.
“Just wanted to check up on her you know,” Paige can't see it, yet.
“Ok see you in the morning P,” Azzi says a bit disappointed but knowing Paige will think about it. “Mhm, nigh Az.”
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Since that encounter with Azzi, Paige has noticed that you slowly started distancing yourself from her. Maybe she was overthinking but what other explanation could there be? At practice, things seemed tense. You would partner up with Aubrey or anyone else before she could even make her way to you. When she would try to come into bed with you she started noticing that you weren't home when you usually would be in bed. Sometimes she would notice that you would come home far later than you ever have, where were you spending your time? At times she would see you right as you were leaving but you were always dressed up. In heals? Makeup and hair done almost always. You’ve always been beautiful to her no matter if you were dripping in sweat or in a fancy dress but she knows you, you don't get dressed up unless you are going out with the team, and you don't go out much enjoying being home and relaxing after practice, she couldn't find any reasons as to why you were almost every night out.
Why didn't you talk to her? Why wouldn't you even glance at her? Why does her heat physically feel like it's breaking when she thinks of you? And why did she hear you talking to a girl over the phone one day as you were getting ready? Why did she ask you if you were almost done because she was outside? Why?
Paige was going crazy without answers. She was going crazy without you.
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One night the team decided to have a movie night and order a bunch of junk food to relax and spend time together. Feeling a bit guilty that you already had plans with a girl you were casually seeing you told all the girls you wouldn't be there but you would make it up to them, you told all except one. Paige, you physically couldn't bring yourself to tell her about your date. You know even after all of your dates and trying to expand outside of your friendships you were right, no one amounted to Paige. No one held a candle to her. You felt stupid that you kept distancing yourself when all you wanted was to be next to her again. You couldn't keep watching her anymore, you didn't have it in you to watch her give everything you've ever wanted from her to others. So when practice ended you rushed home to get ready to go out.
As all of the girls were setting up and bringing in the food Paige couldn't help but notice that you were missing. Looking around from her spot on the couch, next to her was your spot she had been saving it hoping that maybe tonight she could get you to sit next to her, all of the girls started to get on the couch and/or their place on the floor. She had almost argued with Jana as she had sat in “your” spot. Seeing as you hadn't told Paige about your plans, KK opens her mouth ready to tell her that you weren't joining but as you come out of your room all dressed up in a dark purple mini dress, a black pair of heals, silver jewelry stacked on your arms and neck, your skin glowing with body glitter, your hair curled, and makeup that complimented your features she feels the world stop. You looked enchanting. If she were standing up she's sure that she would fall to her knees right then and there. She couldn't help but wonder why you were dressed up though, you were all staying in no?
All of your teammates freak out jumping on you and telling you how pretty you look. “Girl oh my give me a spin,” Nike hypes you up holding your arm up and letting you give them all a 360. “Y/n you know I'm single currently,” Kayla jokingly flirts back. “Oh my, bun you look gorgeous,” Azzi adds knowing this might wake Paige up. As the rest of the girls gush over you Paige can't seem to get up, she was in a trance as soon as she saw you. You in her favorite color might be one of the most beautiful things she has ever seen in her entire life.
“Ok ok guys I need to head out, they're waiting for me downstairs,” you let out laughing at their antics.
You're leaving?
“Bye guys I'll try to be home soon,” as the door shuts Paige can feel herself go numb.
“Where is she going?” She asks scared that she might know the answer. They can all see her shut down, they can't help but feel guilty for her but also happy for you that you're trying new things. No one has the heart to tell her the truth until Azzi looks at her and tells her the hard truth, “She's going on a date.”
When those words leave Aizz’s mouth she feels like she's about to throw up. Is it true? All those times she saw you dressed up you were going to see someone? She feels like she can't breathe but she has to look, she has to look at their faces to see if it's true. As her head rises to look at them they can all see the tears in her eyes, almost like instant deja vu they see your eyes looking back at them. They have been here before but with a different teammate crying over the other. It's almost poetic how similar your eyes seem when you cry over each other in front of them.
“P why are you crying?” KK is the one to ask to test out if her friend finally understands her feelings for you. They knew that they couldn't tell her, she's too stubborn to listen to them, she had to be the one to realize her feelings.
Paige finally understood.
“She won't even look at me. When I walk into her room and she's not there I lay in her bed hoping to catch her when she comes back. She won't even play with me. I can hear her talking to someone but I don't want it to be someone she is seeing. I don't understand what I did to make her mad at me,” as she rambled on Azzi couldn't help but feel a bit responsible but also not. She gave you unbiased advice, she wouldn't take it back.
“Paige that night I caught you looking for her, why did you come home late? Why was she the first person you looked for,” come on Paige see what's right in front of you they all think.
Paige can't stop the tears from coming. She knows her voice will come out shaky but it's now or never, “I went out with that girl from the soccer team and I thought the date was going great till we went back to watch a movie at hers and she blew up. She stalked yelling at me that the whole night I kept talking about Y/n and how at first she thought it was sweet that I had a close friendship with her but after talking about her only, that I act like I'm in love with her. At first I honestly just planned to walk out but then she started insulting her and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut, how could she talk badly about her? She didn't even do anything wrong,” while the team listened to Paige they gave each other a look knowing that she does talk about you any chance she gets. How did she still not see it?
“And when I got home I just wanted to sleep with her but she wasn't there, I started to panic but I saw that her location was still here then Az said that she was with her and all I could do was go to my bed.” She explains not knowing what's going on.
“Paige can you really not see it?” Ice asks trying to see if it finally clicks for the blonde.
“What?” Why are they all looking at her like she should know something. Could it be? No right? If she says the words. If she asks, she can't take it back. Maybe just maybe.
All of your memories together float through her brain. Your eyes that shine like stars when you look at her, your hair that smells like coconut from your shampoo, you're eyelashes that lay over your cheeks as you sleep, your nose that gets red when you get cold, your lips that she catches herself staring at thinking about what it would be like to feel them on hers, your laugh that is like music to her ears, your voice that is like a siren song to her, your hands that fit in hers perfectly, your chest that she lays her head on to hear your heartbeat, your legs that wrap around her when she picks you up, every single thing about you she worships. Her waking you up at 2 am to go hoop with her and you not even thinking twice before getting dressed, late night ice cream when you both just want to be together, you both saving each other seats never wanting to be too far apart, the dumb bunny slippers that she got you that you now rarely take off, the way you both climb into each other's beds and just lay together. You're everything, you are what she looks forward to every day, you waking her up to pancakes with coffee, her watching your angelic face while you sleep. Paige Madison Bueckers is in love with you, a girl who is on a date with someone else in her favorite color.
“I love her, I’m in love with her,” she mumbles out in awe.
“Yeah, you are,” Kayla states what everyone is thinking, but what will she do now.
“Does she love me?” Paige asks afraid of the answer.
“You're kidding right?” KK asks shocked that she's even asking.
“What?”
“Paige that girl has loved you for years,” she can feel herself lose her breath. What? There's no way that's true right? Please tell her that she heard wrong.
“Everyone could see it but you.” No no why didn't she see it sooner. “Why didn't she say anything?” She asks not knowing if she hopes it's a cruel prank or if she wants the confirmation that you love her.
“Did she have to? She made it pretty clear to you.” What.
“I mean do you see her waking anyone else with pancakes?” But you're always nice.
“Much less bring it to us in our beds.” You had sleepovers together that's why. Right?
“She sleeps with you almost all the time, the only times she hasn't was when you were with another girl.” Shit.
“You don't see her matching outfits with anyone else do you?” She always did love it when you would match colors, it made her feel like she had a claim over you even if it was just for the night.
“P whenever you would kiss someone or held their hand she would come to us crying. I don't think she would cry just because.” She made you cry, all those times she saw you walking away you had tears in your eyes.
“What do I do?” There has to be a chance right. She can't let you go now that she knows you've been there all along.
“I don't know.” What.
“What do you mean?” Please she needs something.
“Well P she kinda keeps going to these dates to get over you.” No. She's so close she can't just not try.
“I have to give it a shot, please.” Give me something, anything. Is all she can keep thinking hoping for any shot no matter how small.
“Well I know she's at that restaurant that opened up by the pizza place, Lavie or something like that,” Jana says remembering you telling her before practice when you asked her for her opinion on your outfit.
When she hears the name her movements are almost like she's in a trance, her only thought is to get to you as soon as she can. She stands up not caring if she's in her pajama pants, glasses that she rarely wears outside, her wavy hair in her natural state, grey nike tech sweater, and gets her keys from the dining table. They all watch her leave with encouraging smiles on their faces knowing that you two will end up together. They've all watched you fall in love and everyone even on the staff knows that you both need each other just to exist.
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While you and your date are at the restaurant you can help but feel sick to your stomach. You know she knows you're pretending she's someone else. You allow yourself to envision her as Paige perhaps this is the closest you'll get to her. Why can't you just let her go. She haunts you. The way she looked at you when you came into the living room is embedded into your brain.
“I'm sorry to take you away from her tonight,” Hayley says knowing the team had plans tonight.
Your head lifts quickly looking at her for answers. “I know you all had plans,” she explains a bit while eating her salmon.
“No it's ok I enjoy getting out,” you reassure her since it was your choice that you went out not liking the idea of being near Paige for a long time. You try your best to keep the distance you've created.
“Do you miss her?” What? There is no way she knew right?
“Y/n I've seen the way you look at her. If I'm honest I'm also trying to get over someone, I see the way you look through me basically and I’m not mad really. I'm pretending you're someone else too.” Hayley confesses. You let out a breath of relief seeing as you both are just two people in love with another trying to find comfort in each other.
“No luck for you ether?” You ask her hoping at least one of you has some luck in getting over your situations. “Nah but I'm not too mad at it, I enjoy spending time with you.” She grins at you showing that she's being sincere. “I enjoy my time with you too.” As you continue your dinner the weight of this being a “date” wearing off you both start genuinely talking like friends would.
Paige gets to the restaurant as quickly as she can, she's pretty sure she might've broken some laws but for you, she’d break all of them to get to you. As she sits in her car for a second she collects her thoughts, was she really about to go in there and steal you away? Yes. The thought of you in there with someone who isn't her is burning her skin. When she sees you laughing through the window in the front she feels herself get hot. Screw it. She gets out of her car almost too quickly that she almost stumbles out. Walking up to the establishment intimidated her a bit, it's a nice place and here she comes in her pajamas to get you. It's all worth it for you. When she opens the door she can see the hostess opening her mouth to ask her if she's lost but she marches to your table nearby determined to get you.
Since your back is turned to her Hayle sees her before you do but you sense Paige before she even entered the restaurant, not wanting to believe your sensation you ignore it.
“Hey, I think one of us might just have some luck.”
“What?”
Paige stops right next to your table panting. You stare at her wide-eyed in shock. What is she doing here?
“I need to talk to you.” She states, her eyes pleading with you to come with her.
“I'm kind of in the middle of some-”
“Go, I'll be ok. Text me how it goes.” Haley blurts out wanting one of you to get your happy ending.
As soon as Paige hears the words she grabs you almost pulling you up and rushing you both out of there. She's too fast, you're heal-covered feet can hardly keep up.
“Paige wait I'm in heals. I'm going to trips wait up.” When the words leave your mouth she instantly stops and turns to you as you regain your balance. As you straighten up you let out a yelp not expecting her to pick you up bride-style and walk you both to her car. You hear the car unlock and she opens the passenger door while still holding you and puts you inside gently making sure you ok before she shuts the door and goes to the driver side.
You turn to look at her with shock and are about to ask her what does she think she's doing but she beats you to it. Turning to face you she looks into your eyes directly and says the five words you've been dying to hear.
“I’m in love with you Y/n” You feel the world stop when she says that. Are you awake right now? Was this a cruel dream?
“Don't say that,” you let out feeling your eyes start to tear up and your throat tightening.
“I love you Y/n.”She says determined to fight for you. She's not letting you go unless you truly want her to.
“Paige you're being mean, stop it please I can't take it.” How could she? How could she mock you? You turn to look away from her not being able to look at her while she lied to you. While trying to win your gaze, you feel her hands. The hands you've craved are turning your face to her slowly wiping your tears. While you let yourself have this one moment with her she starts speaking knowing that you need to hear from her again that she loves you.
“Y/n/n I'm so unbelievably in love with you and I didn't even realize it till I saw you walk out of the dorm. I know you may not want to hear this but whenever I would kiss other girls I would imagine that they were you, when I would hold them I thought about you, all of the things I've done with others I would envision you. I know it's wrong but I was such a fool, it has always been you. You're it for me bun. If I can't have you in this lifetime I pray I get to have you in the next and every after that. We were made for each other. Anytime I listen to Jeff Buckley I instantly think of you. If I could I really would give all my blood for your sweet laughter. I could write novels of you, every single thing about you I could write thousands of pages for. Anytime I hold you I never want to hurt you, I want to take care of you. I want to show you that I can love you gently and purely. When it comes to you I'm all in, everything is yours. Whatever you want I'll do, I'll give it all to you only please baby. Let me worship you in every way possible. I'm all yours, my mind, my body, my heart, my soul, everything was made for you. Give me a chance, let me show you. I can't handle the thought of you with someone else. I don't want to be without you.” During her confession, she rested her forehead against yours. Her finger still wiping the new tears that appeared as her speech went on. Your sweet girl.
“I've loved you for two years maybe even longer. I would watch you with them, my skin felt like it was being peeled off, my heart would stop when I would see you.” You let out not being able to hold it in. Pulling away to look at her you see she started crying too.
“I know I'm sorry baby. Please let me love you, I may not deserve it but I need it. Please.” Her eyes filled with more tears how could you say no. How could you say no to everything you've been hoping for.
“I love you, Paige. I’d give up anything to be with you, you are everything I've wanted for so long. I physically crave you. Even though I didn't say it out loud I tried to show you. I can't blame you completely, I should've said something but I was too scared of losing you.” You say laughing a bit at how much you're both crying. It's your turn to wipe her tears away. Her skin under your fingers feels like you were meant to hold her.
“I love you too. I should've realized sooner. We're both so stupid.” She replies while laughing a bit. You both couldn't stay mad at the other. As she admires you while you're trying to make sure her face is dry all she can do is think about kissing you.
“Kiss me,” did she hear you right? By the look on your face, she can tell you need her as much as she does. The kiss felt even better than you both had imagined, you could taste her tears and vanilla chapstick, she could taste your tears and strawberry lipgloss. She grabs your jaw while her other hand grasps at your waist pulling you a bit over the console. One of your hands is on her shoulder while the other is in her hair. As the kiss goes on it gets hungrier, pulling away to catch your breath you stare at each other.
‘How beautiful,’ runs through both of your heads.
“I love you.” Paige can't help but say it as she pecks you all over your face, repeating it between kisses.
Giggling you can't help but grab her face and peck her on the lips, “I love you too.”
As you both look at each other you can't help but crave something.
“Can we go get ice cream?” You ask not being able to hold it in anymore.
“Are you serious?” She asks laughing in amusement. While you get back into your seat properly buckling your seatbelt you turn to her and smile, “Always.”
“Does this could as my first girlfriend duty?” She asks grinning at the title she's given herself as your girlfriend. Yours.
“Yes so please love let's go, I need a sweet treat.” You flutter your eyelashes at her knowing that'll get her. Even though she would've done it without she smiles seeing as how you agreed that she was yours.
“Can't let my baby go with her ice cream,” she states as she puts the car into drive then moves to grab your hand in your lap, wanting to hold you in some way.
“Aw such a sweet girlfriend I have,” you say as you bring up her hand to your lips giving it a kiss while looking at her grinning so hard your face hurts.
“Yes ma'am, although I think you're sweeter,” you can see her blush from your kiss on her hand. Any little touch you give her makes you giddy.
“I love you, Paige.”
“I love you more Y/n.”
“Not possible.”
“Possible only for you.”
As you both get ice cream and watch the stars you both just feel at peace knowing you were with the person that was handmade for you. Made for each other in every way possible, tied together, sown together, invisible string. Right in front of each other all along.
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D1 yearner... BUT anyways I need to lock in and write because the way my drafts and prompts look...... I hope you enjoyed this <33333
Kiss the sun🌞
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pomefioredove · 3 days ago
Note
May I please have a sugar cookie, #7, with candy cane and sprinkles? 👉👈
certainly (* ^ ω ^)
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order #7, sugar with sprinkles, candy cane
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ assertive
summary: after seeing you rebound, he realizes he's not quite over you tropes: exes to lovers, hurt/comfort characters: trey additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu, short and sweet
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"I just don't like the way he's looking at them,"
Cater looks up from his cup, and the foam heart he was trying to snap a pic of melts into his latte.
"You can barely see his face. And you've said that like, three times," the ginger says. "You've barely even touched your mug. It's basically iced coffee now."
Trey finally looks at Cater, his neck sore from craning over his shoulder.
His mug is cold to the touch.
"I'm starting to think you only invited me here 'cause you knew the Prefect was coming. Like, ouch," Cater smiles.
Trey's face flushes red. "What! No, I-I just thought the shop had a good deal today,"
Cater rolls his eyes.
"As much as I love drama, this is lowkey sad," he says. "You need to move on, Trey. It's been months."
Trey knows he's right, which makes his observation hurt even more. He mumbles some poor excuse into his cup of lukewarm coffee, but he can't keep his eyes to himself for long.
"He definitely goes to RSA. I don't trust him," he mutters, eyeing the boy you're with.
"Che'nya goes to RSA, doesn't he?"
"Would you trust Che'nya with your ex?"
"Yeowch. Point taken," Cater smiles, stirring his untouched latte with a dainty spoon. "So, what are you gonna do about it?"
Trey hesitates. He would have loved to just... march over there and steal you away from that pompous bastard...
But he won't.
"Nothing,"
"Pfft," Cater snorts. "You need to be more assertive, man. Otherwise we're just stalking the Prefect. Yeah, that'll impress them."
"It's not about that!! And it's not stalking!"
Cater rolls his eyes and returns to his phone, the uninvited third wheel of every outing with him.
Still, his words bother Trey. That was the problem, wasn't it? He just wasn't... assertive.
He didn't take your side, or stand up for you. He wasn't there when you needed him most, the fool. That's why you dumped him.
If assertive is what you want...
Trey stands, surprising Cater to the point of putting his phone away, and he marches across the coffee shop, brow furrowed, arms firmly at his side. The RSA boy you're with sees him first, and then you.
"Trey? What are you-"
"You," he says, pointing right at the white-uniform wearing, silver-spoon sucking little bastard.
Your jaw drops. The boys' eyes widen (does he look familiar or what?) Cater pushes his chair out, as if preparing to intervene.
Trey takes a deep breath.
"You... you treat them right, do you hear me? Prefect is the sweetest person I know, and they deserve someone just as perfect! Listen to them, okay? Be the person they can rely on, they can trust... the person I- that I wasn't. Just- you'd better be a good boyfriend, or I'll make you regret it, alright?!"
Cater sits back down. Both you and the boy you're with seem to soften, more confused than concerned now.
Trey turns and marches back to his seat. "Let's go,"
The ginger grins and looks behind him. Trey follows his gaze, and it's... you.
"Did you follow me?" you demand. His face goes bright red.
"Uh... um, I... yes. But I only wanted to make sure you were okay. That's... all I've ever wanted,"
Cater gives him a double thumbs-up. You frown, and he mutters a quick "I'll go wait outside" before darting out the door. Trey's blush darkens to crimson.
"Listen, I'm really sorry I interrupted your date. I just wanted to make sure you were being taken care of, and-"
"Trey," you stop him. "I'm not on a date. And that's not my boyfriend."
Huh.
...What?
"Oh?"
You sigh, gesturing between the two. "Trey, Neige. Neige, Trey," and you lower your voice. "I'm here on Vil's behalf. Some movie thing."
Ohh. That makes sense. Trey's face only gets redder, if possible, and he clears his throat. "...My mistake,"
Your frown softens, and you sigh.
"You couldn't have known... and... thanks for worrying about me, I guess. Maybe next time we can talk in private?"
Next time. Trey's heart flutters at the promise, if he dare call it that, and he nods.
"A-ah, of course. Next time,"
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gangstalkerbarbie · 18 hours ago
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People treat autistic people as if they're, like, fairies or something, completely incomprehensible to the rest of man and ontologically not capable of anything we would call sin. They just work so differently, you know? Except they don't.
Actually it's just a brain wiring that makes you interpret the world in a specific way that, when you interact with the majority of people, who are allistic, unfortunately causes all of you misery.
There's nothing about that that education can't fix. I'm allistic, my mother isn't, I spent my whole life in the misery vortex usually experienced by autistic people, and what I got from there was an ability to come off almost kind of quasi-normal to autistic people by autistic standards. I thought I was stupid and broken and wrong on the inside, but I was perfectly able to be perfectly charming and normal, for a while.
My autistic friends frequently try to claim me, which is annoying but I see why — what allistic has ever been taught to understand them and value their perspective? No allistic could be except someone like me, with a largely autistic family who all believed that they were the norm or even an ideal and lived in a curated world largely designed around their preferences. We're just not that frequently the neurominority anywhere.
There's a specific way that autism interfaces with patriarchy and with the internet that produces recognizable effects:
Most autistic women, being women, internalise that the problem is them and live lives full of suffering, in the full belief that they could never even intellectually grasp what it is to be "normal". Some autistic women reject this paradigm but only have one other to turn to, and this is the type specimen of the femcel, a noble but tragically tormented creature.
A concerning number of dipshit autistic men start chanboards where they convince each other that they are the human default and socialize each other into considering the most unhinged and depraved shit normal, and then launch psyops against wider society from there because... something or other, resentment and noncomprehension probably, I don't know, I don't care. They used to do this in different ways in the analog world (if you've met enough clerics in any religion you will instantly know what I mean), the internet just made it easier.
Dipshit allistic men browse them too, but they don't usually live there, whereas the way it's designed and the ostensible community culture is engineered by autistic megachuds to attract and retain more of themselves in an endless, fetishistic spiral of miserywank. Somehow we've arrived at a point in the culture where young boys think they're super cool because they're under an impression that the insanity on those forums is what grownup society is really like under a veneer of feminism, which is bad because it means they have to listen to mommy.
The humour on there toes a specific line between casual self-deprecation, countercultural edgelorddom and internalised ableism that is deeply appealing to little boys, a weak demographic that everything male and older than them shits on from a giant sequoia and has in every patriarchy since the dawn of human memory. (Granted, less in some than others. Jewish men tend to be kind of normal about little Jewish boys.)
Autistic kids are particularly vulnerable to being groomed into such cultures because they offer them alternatives to an allistic world that doesn't want to try to understand them and punishes them for trying to understand it, and when you combine it with the general patriarchal impulse to solve all problems with mass violence, well.
I think this is a new phenomenon, probably enabled by online gaming, because I don't know how else this demographic would manage to interface with impressionable schoolchildren not already in the loop. But the way it works is very old, and it puts grown men into the world who think being autistic while male is a form of oppression so severe that they should just be allowed to do whatever to whoever in recompense. Call them out? They don't even have to defend themselves, people who want to use autistic people to virtue signal and believe that autistic men are all harmless little infantile oompsymoompsyboos will do it for them.
A mirror of this is readily observed on tumblr, where any time you tell someone with demonstrably similar socialisation that they worded something in a way that was kind of fucking shitty, they jump down your throat to tell you off for tone policing a 31-year-old neurodivergent minor.
Except I don't have to give a shit what anyone on here says ever, at all, whereas on 4chan the culture is gleefully violent and supportive of doxxing in exactly the kind of way you could expect from a collection of rancidly pseudo-macho autistic chuds who internalised the rules of the playground in 1990 and decided they applied to everything forever.
between kanye, elon, and thousands of misogynistic twerps on the internet i think we should finally be allowed to talk about how autistic men kinda suck and do weaponize their condition to excuse awful behavior.
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doppel-doodles · 2 days ago
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A normal post a about Kevin Barnes from Poppy Playtime.
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I genuinely feel so bad for Kevin…
Like that was a kid who clearly had a lot of issues from the start, instead of getting the help he needed all that happened was him being marked off as a „problem child“.
And then he was turned into a toy:/
Read more of my full thoughts and a sorta character analysis/ramblings below cut!
Like honestly no wonder he is seething if he wasn’t troubled before he definitely is now-
Obviously he has no trust in anyone, almost every adult he ever knew screwed him over in some way, hell even the kids he shares a body with would go against what he would do.
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(Great example: When Doey chases us in his monster form, it's the arms of Matthew and Jack that are trying to keep his mouth from biting us, Kevin's are trying to grab for us.)
He was hurt over and over again, clearly he wasn’t aggressive just because he wanted to be but because this was his only way of making sure he wouldn’t get hurt.
It was how he had a semblance of control, a sense of protection.
But of course the irony is: That coping mechanism brought him more pain, it was what got him killed.
Sure, maybe he could've just "calmed down", but why would he? He was hurt again, he lost everything AGAIN.
All because he listened to their judgement over his own. Kevin could've killed the player and Poppy on sight, clearly his emotions easily overpowered the other two, but he didn't.
Instead he agreed to trust them as well.
He was still willing to do that, surely if he were just a mindless monster he wouldn't be.
And you know what? I believe he blames himself just as much if not more for what happened than he blames us and Poppy and projects it tenfold.
Because maybe, JUST MAYBE-
If he didn't allow himself to trust again, then everyone would still be alive.
But he did...now see what that got him?
In his mind he's proven right.
So what's an emotionally unstable child to do? After being hurt AGAIN?
That's right.
He lashes out at the first thing he sees that had something to do with his pain:
Us.
Is he in the right? Hell nah- bro we didn't mean for that to happen! But do you seriously think this kid is thinking rationally right now??? NO! He is seeing red right now, he is in fight mode! All emotions and must I reiterate that the only way he knows how to express them is through anger and violence?
There is NO reasoning with wrath try as you might! And that hurts because yeah maybe you could've dealt with that if he was still a gradeschooler but he isn't! He is 900 pounds of living dough with a thirst for blood!
It's either our life or his now. And we already know what the outcome of that is.
Honestly I think it's better that we only hear Matthew and Jack apologise for what happened, I do not think Kevin would even if he did feel bad for what he had done.
Because why would someone who has been scorned so many times be vulnerable all of the sudden? When his main character trait is biting at those who bark at him?Why would all that rage suddenly disappear? If anything the stress of dying only causes him to lash out more.
You don't need an apology from him to feel bad for him.
He is hurting anyone with two eyes can see that and for what it's worth, I do believe deep down he knew what he was doing was wrong but it was too late for him to see any other alternatives and even if he didn't and thought he was right for doing what he did it doesn't take away from the fact that he was fucked over by life.
Kevin is not the worst part of Doey, he is just a part of him.
And that part is not just a violent hunk of playdough.
It’s a scared, confused little boy that cared just as much about every toy in safe haven as his other two components did.
Because if he didn’t why would he get so angry about their death?
Anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk-
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Also feel free to agree or disagree with my take, those are just my thoughts so let me hear yours, I like discussions:}
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ihavetoomanyocsdealwithit · 21 hours ago
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You break down into tears and tell them: "It’s been so long since I’ve felt this happy, I think I just got overwhelmed. You make me happy.” 
Heartslabyul dorm; Savanaclaw dorm; Octavinelle dorm (here); Scarabia dorm; Pomefiore Dorm; Ignihyde Dorm; Diasomnia Dorm
Jade Leech – The hike was a grueling one, and late as well. You understood now why you had to pack a tent and sleeping bag for this one, thought he cooling air was helping with your sore feet.  
When you had arrived at the clearing, he had the two of you quickly set up and then led away to a hidden entrance. It was a cave where he kept his more dangerous mushrooms, the soft glow of the moon entering through holes in the roof reflecting the stalactites above with dew like a knives edge.  
He’s whispering softly, as if too loud of a sound will disturb them. Maybe that’s why the hitch in your breath seems to echo.  
He only grows more confused as you explain. Is this a land dweller reaction? No, no he had never seen something like this before, even in his short time interacting with others.  
He gives that polite smile that’s just on the edge of something softer, using his gloves to wipe them away before lifting your chin.  
“You must expect more from life,” He tells you, the words echoing divinely. “And if you cannot find it, cultivate it. All things can thrive, under the right conditions. That includes us.”  
Floyd Leech – Azul doesn’t like it when he does experimental dishes in the Monstro Lounge kitchen, which is silly, but he doesn’t feel like dealing with the fight right now. So he just breaks into Ramshackle to cook in yours!  
You don’t mind really, they be experimental but they are usually tasty, sometimes even pretty, though you always double check that something like shellfish or shrimp is cooked to human temperatures. You two had learned that the hard way.  
He laughs at your scrunched up nose as you sip the broth from his spoon. He doesn’t see the way you just stare at him a moment, turning your face to hide.  
As he listens, his hands clench. That’s fucked up. It can’t-it shouldn’t- but it is. You can’t always do what you want when your shrimpy size. He can’t even do that at his size.  
He picks you up and twirls you around the kitchen, squeezing until you start laughing again.  
“I’ll just have to steal Shrimpy away more often,” he says, “And we can both be happy together. No more tears though. Lots of people deserve to cry, and Shrimpy isn’t one of them.”  
Azul Ashengrotto – It was a small debate, with you defending local business and him defending corporate business. It was something the two of you had done before, matching wits and parries, but something felt different this time.  
You just stare a moment, a soft smile until he saw it. A small tear quickly wiped away. Azul immediately wipes it away, asking what he did wrong, only to find the opposite. He simply makes you happy.  
He starts crying with you, the both of you a bit hysterical. He never imagined this. Somebody just being there to be there, how he values your opinion and thoughts, how you can debate like this and it not get too heated. The urge to collect and keep is so strong. To simply gather you into a cave and feed and gift you everything you could ever desire. But you wouldn’t take it and he knows it.  
So he settles with wiping your years with his embroidered handkerchief, appreciating the way the lavender contrasts with your skin.  
“Well, angelfish, the solution to your problem is simple.” he declares, tucking the handkerchief into your dorm pocket, “You must simply stay by me.”  
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moonmunson · 3 days ago
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hello my old heart
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a/n: wally clark has invaded my brain space and i cannot seem to rid him from my mind his himbo charms have seduced me. just in my mind this is set in the late '90s, but mr. martin isn't evil. none of the other kids are really mentioned by name, but this would be a few years after charley's death. as always i'm writing with a plus sized!reader in mind but anyone can read it.
summary: struggling with becoming comfortable in death, wally has made himself your new buddy.
cw: general angst and sadness over being dead, wally is a sweetheart who just wants to help. hurt/comfort with a sweet ending and a little bit of kissing. gn!reader, theatre kid x jock
wc: 2.1k
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You think you’ve been dead for a little over a week. It’s hard to tell - time moves so differently here. It feels like static on the skin, the way the TV screen feels fuzzy when you touch it after it's been turned off. You haven’t spoken much, and the other dead kids don’t expect you to for a while. They’ve all told you that everyone reacts differently to their death, that there’s no right or wrong way to cope. 
You’re worried that if you open your mouth, it’ll be difficult to stop crying. Or screaming, or both. So you sit quietly in the circle in the gymnasium, listening as Mr. Martin leads the support group meeting. You’re appreciative of his trying to get you to open up, but you’re only capable of responding in nods and shrugs. When it’s over, you go to make your way back to the auditorium. It might be weird to some, considering you died there, but it’s still the place you feel the safest.
A few steps out of the gym, you hear pounding footsteps coming up next to you. It’s Wally, because of course it is. He’s dubbed himself your ‘Unofficial death guide.’ He’s the sweetest, and you wish you could actively participate in conversation with him. 
“You goin’ back to the auditorium?” When he talks, you have to crane your head to the right and all the way up because he’s so fucking tall. You nod, and he parrots it. 
“I don’t know how you can go back to that place. I couldn’t even look at the football field for like a week after I died.” Even when you don’t respond, Wally keeps going. “I also don’t know how you stand sharing a space with Mina. She's, like, totally scary.” He makes a face then, pinched up, like he’s imagining being trapped in a room with the other, objectively more aggressive theatre ghost.
It makes you giggle. Like, audibly giggle. Wally’s eyes widen, surprised that he was able to get a noise out of you. He laughs in return, a breathless exhale. He’s clearly proud of himself. 
“I have got to get you to do that again.” You shake your head no, even though the smile hasn’t left your face. “I’m serious, I have got to hear that laugh again!” 
When you round the corner near the front office, you stop in your tracks, the smile on your face quickly fading. Your mom and dad are there, holding a box with everything that was in your locker. It’s a weird feeling. You hadn’t forgotten you were dead, obviously, but everything had felt very up in the air.
Like the moment before a show starts - everyone sitting in the audience, the curtain still down to block the view of actors taking their places. Like limbo. Seeing your parents, their tear stricken faces, that makes it feel real. Too real. The sharp breath you take in alerts Wally to the fact that something is wrong, and he follows your gaze to the two adults standing at the front desk. 
“Oh shit, are those your parents?” Wally asks, his voice taking a softer tone. He has a volume control problem, everyone knows it, and you’re appreciative that he’s quieted down for this.
You nod, a small jerk of your head. He brings a tentative hand up to your shoulder, and when you don’t move away, he places it more firmly. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am. Do you wanna go up and see them?” 
You don’t answer, you just walk away. Wally calls after you, but doesn’t follow. 
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The auditorium truly is your safe space. You were never brave enough to actually perform anything, though your teacher had begged you to. She’d heard you singing to yourself one day, and asked why you’d never auditioned for anything. You’d just deflected and said the stage fright would make you freeze. She’d been understanding, but encouraged you to think about auditioning for the show this year. 
You were a senior, it’d been your last opportunity to be in the spotlight, but by the time auditions came around you’d chickened out. The hidden disappointment on your teacher’s face wasn’t so hidden, but she made sure you had your usual spot on the tech and run crew portion of the show.
You died a few weeks later, tripping off of the stage while setting up a set piece and breaking your neck falling into the orchestra pit. Like a sick fucking joke. 
Now, you sit in the audience, gazing at the stage. It’s still blocked off by crime tape. The show for the end of the year has been effectively cancelled on account of your dying. ‘Postponed indefinitely’ is the term the overhead announcements had used, but you all knew what that actually meant. It just wasn’t gonna happen. 
You mostly just feel numb. Obviously your death isn’t something you could ever prepare for, and just like every other ghost in the building, your life had been unfairly cut short. Just like everyone else, you’d had plans for the rest of your life. None of them solid or reliable, but you’d had some idea of what you wanted your life to look like. A well paying job that you genuinely enjoyed, maybe a husband or wife and a few kids. All of that is gone now. 
Your parents in the front office felt like a kick to the gut, salt in the wound. The look on your mom’s face, the way your dad was cradling the box of your things like if he held tight to it enough it would bring you back.. it was too much to bear.
And Wally, sweet, kind, Wally. He’s been trying really hard with you, and you can’t even work up the nerve to say something to him. To thank him for being there for you, or answer any of the many questions or jokes he throws your way. 
You don’t even realize the tears are streaming down your face until they drip onto your hands in your lap. Once you feel the first one, the rest fall in quick succession and before you know it, you’re audibly sobbing in the empty theatre. It’s almost embarrassing, the way your cries echo because of the acoustics. 
Wally comes in quietly, and sits down next to you. You’ve been too preoccupied to notice anything other than your tears, heavy and streaking down your cheeks. He doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest. He’s warm, and when you grab the front of his sweatshirt, he holds you tighter.
It takes a while for you to calm down - you’d been holding everything in for too long - you were bound to bubble over and explode at some point. When you feel yourself come back to your body, Wally is still holding you. He’s stroking your head and whispering comforts to you. You don’t deserve him, you think.
He’s still rubbing your back when you pull away to look at him, but you’re distracted by the wet spot on his sweatshirt - the light grey darkened by your tears. 
“Oh,” you whisper, your voice cracking from how long it’s been since you’ve spoken, “I’m sorry.”
Wally’s eyes widen, not prepared for you to start talking, and he jumps to console you. “Woah, hey, don’t even worry about it. This ratty old thing? I’ve been wearing it for like, almost twenty years.” He giggles a bit, continuing, “I honestly think this is the closest this thing has been to a washing machine even longer than that, so. No sweat, promise.”
You nod, thanking him. 
“Are you, like…” he trails off, not sure how to ask you if you’re okay. It’s a silly question, he knows that. “I remember the first time I saw my parents after I died. There was a vigil on the football field like a week after it happened. Everyone was there, and they were all crying and it was so weird. I didn’t feel dead yet, like I hadn’t accepted that it really happened.”
“That must’ve been really hard for you, Wally. I’m really sorry.” Your eyes meet, and he shrugs.
He smiles, a sad, nostalgic thing. He can’t tell you it’s okay, because it’s not. Instead, he goes to hold your hand. “I promise it will get better. It just takes some time. It’s gonna suck for a while, but we’re all here for you. I’m here for you.” His thumb rubs circles on the top or your hand, and you smile up at him. 
“Thanks, Wally. I really appreciate it.” Your interconnected hands are grounding you. It’s the first time you’ve felt a semblance of peace since you died. “Do you mind if we sit here for a little bit? It’s quiet, I don’t want to leave yet.” He nods, and the two of you just sit there.
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Just like Wally said it would, it gets easier.
You start going to more of the meetings with Mr. Martin, and you actually start participating. It was weird at first - you thought people would make a big deal out of your finding your voice again, but they just smiled, proud of your growth. Wally has been your biggest cheerleader, but they’re all really supportive. Even Rhonda, though she still sports her gloomy demeanor. 
When they fix up the stage and clear the crime scene tape, the school holds your vigil there. Wally is right there with you in the audience, holding your hand while your parents speak. Your theatre teacher speaks too, and talks highly of you. Your brightness, the passion you had for theatre. When she says you had a beautiful voice, that you could’ve been somebody, she directs it at your parents. They agree, it seems. 
There are still days where it's really hard. You retreat back into your shell, refusing to leave the auditorium or speak to anyone. Wally's patience with you is endless, and when you allow him to stay with you, he spends all day cracking jokes to help you feel better.
One day, instead of letting you isolate yourself, he drags you out onto the football field to get some sun. "We don't really need vitamin D anymore, but I really think it'll help. C'mon, the sun on your skin? Wind in your hair? Can't beat that, babe." He leads you out onto the field - one hand clasped in yours and the other holding a backpack.
The pet names are a new thing, but you don't mind it. He'd slipped one day, called you sweetheart, and immediately backtracked and apologized profusely. All you could do was laugh and call him cute.
"Where did you even get that?" you giggle, following him to a spot under a tree near the edge of the field. "Did you steal that from someone?"
He drops your hand to bring it to his own chest, offended at your assumption. "Me? Steal? I can't believe you'd think so lowly of me," he plops onto the grass, patting the spot next to him, "Yeah I totally stole it, emptied it out, and then filled it with a shit ton of snacks and drinks so we could have a picnic out here." He unzips the bag, pulling out at least ten different bags of chips and candy bars.
"This is really sweet, Wally," you can feel your face heat up, though hopefully it'll just look like it's because of the heat. "It's like a date, almost." His head shoots up to look at you, pink dusting his cheeks and ears.
"Y-yeah, if you want it to be. If you think you're ready for that kind of thing." He stutters, a nervous boyish thing. He's the sweetest person ever.
“I am, I think,” you nod while you’re talking, like you’ve made up your mind, “You’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.” Wally ducks his head down, chin meeting his chest. He’s fully blushing now - it’s the cutest thing you’ve seen in a long time. 
“C’mere,” he whispers, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and maneuvering your body so your back is pressed up against his chest, head resting in the space between his head and shoulder, “is this okay?” 
You turn your head to try and look at him, and he angles his towards you. His face is inches from yours, and if you had a heartbeat, it’d be beating wildly right now. You can almost feel it, the pitter patter of it in your chest. Your hand comes up to cradle his cheek, rubbing your thumb over the space under his eye. You nod, and move in to kiss him. 
His lips are so soft, and the way they move in conjunction with yours provides much needed relief. You stay like that for a few minutes, and when you’re done, he rests his forehead against yours. Eyes closed, feeling the gentle breeze sweeping up the hill you’re sitting on. You never had anything like this when you were still alive, the easy conversation and back and forth banter. He’s your new safe space. You don’t have to worry about anything when you’re with him. 
“This is perfect.”
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a/n: wally clark is actually so special to me and when i think about him for too long i get very emotional. my shayla. i wrote this in the span of like a day and a half so if there are any mistakes i'm sorry LMAO
if you liked this story, please like and reblog!! it'd mean the world to me, even if you just drop a silly comment. i want to write more for wally because he desperately needs more stories on here.
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