#the only downside is that it was about 30 degrees out

[glorious-spoon]

my children have pooled their halloween loot and gifted me with half a dozen mini almond joy bars, and while i know it's because neither of them like them, it was still heartwarming

also, my daughter told me that the costume i made her was 'SO beautiful, mommy, just the most beautiful costume and i looked SO good in it', so that was nice

(she went as a giant spider)

[gryficowa]

It's depressing that people stop boycotting a company when their favorite thing comes out…

Yes, I'm speaking as a GF fan and I understand that Bill's book brings back those emotions from years ago, but remember, Disney will get the money and it sucks, especially when Disney boasted about financial support for Israel and publicly

Marvel Owns Disney (And Has Zionist Propaganda, Yes, It Has a Character Symbolizing Israel)

Broadway is also being boycotted because it financially supported Israel (I speak as a fan of musical theater, although I live in Poland, so I don't have the option of watching it live… In fact, financially even more so, but yes, no matter how much I want to listen, I struggle with myself, because I know it's not worth it)

And the Olympics allowed Israel to take part in the competition, so we are boycotting it too (Just like Harry Potter, not only because of transphobia, Rowling also showed that she is not in favor of a free Palestine)

In addition, Talor Swift and Lady Gaga are silent about Gaza, so we are boycotting them too

And Sonic? I don't know, I have nothing to say because I've never played it (Apart from the browser versions, I mostly played Mario, lol)

And fuck Harris, as well as Biden and Trump

And since I have your attention:

I know there aren't as many links as before :/

It's depressing that many collections cannot reach everyone (And you often have to write to ask people to share, otherwise they don't do it, which sucks, because collections should be shared to reach people who can help, I understand, I I can't make payments, currency, I don't work and I don't have a bank account, and if I wanted to donate to collections, unfortunately I would have to do it virtually, I don't have a bank account because I don't work, because I have a second degree of disability and it makes it impossible for me to find a job)

Unfortunately, this is the only way to reach other people, because recently interest in Gaza has decreased (the same in Sudan and Congo), and when tags are in trends, it is only because something bad is happening, as if the reason for their interest was only that something bad is happening, unfortunately, the downside is that when posts are in the news, all collections disappear in the mass of new posts, so yes, it's a big problem (which I noticed), because often collections stop at a certain amount and do not want to move further

It sucks that you have to go out of your way to reach people (Palestinians themselves often add tags unrelated to the post, unfortunately the risk is that tumblr will consider it spam and delete the post)

It also doesn't help that the tumblr is run by transphobic Zionists, which sucks (Unfortunately, in the era of capitalism, it is impossible to live ethically, especially if you want to spread information about what is happening in Gaza, Sudan and Congo, the same way you share fundraisers, Google bought many platforms, and unfortunately, only they are full of people, without people nothing will succeed)

In addition, there are no alternatives to graphics cards (If you have a notebook, it uses Intel, and Intel companies are on lands stolen from the Palestinians), or for the operating system (Because they are expensive, unfortunately, you have to buy a system with Microsoft)

These are the biggest drawbacks of what is happening, because if you can boycott Disney and many companies (Especially the nestles known for always having moral boundaries somewhere), unfortunately with technology and the Internet it is not that simple

Greetings to those who made it to the end, especially those who shared or donated some amount to one of the collections (You are heroes, even if you don't see yourself as such)

[vicsy]

currently sitting in Baku airport and letting the past weekend sink in. wanted to share with you my many notes and emotions ♥️

Azerbaijan GP in general:

- in my opinion, perfect place to kind of get introduced to going to actual races. I met many people who’s first gp was this one.

- great organization overall. probably the only downside is the amount of walking you have to do because of street closures.

- price range is rather compared to the seats/options they offer is pretty good actually! especially if you book in advance. they also release GA tickets about a week or so before the gp, so anyone could enter the fanzone without having a grandstand seat. although there aren’t many places you could see the track from but there were many screens around!

- Baku is a rather small city, not too complex to navigate. I really liked it tbh.

- merch prices felt illegal but what else is new? they accepted catch (local currency) and any and all credit cards.

- volunteers were really fun to hang around with! I made friends with a couple of them for next year.

- the entire area was huge and had so much to offer for adults and kids alike. many options for food and drink.

- +30 degrees Celsius was a bit harsh but I’m good at surviving heat. you definitely get an extra tan on the grandstands ahahahah

Drivers:

- to me Daniel was taller than many people say he actually is. and broader? very solid. very beautiful. very…. beautiful….

- Charles up close was like a deer from a magical forest. very nice. was seen sprinting to the hotel on Sunday cause I think he was running late.

- Fernando did not approach us but I felt his aura even from a distance. he’s also very square and small but stocky. and super handsome.

- Liam smelled nice when he stopped to take a selfie with a couple of us standing at the gates on Sunday.

- Carlos was very present, signed a lot of stuff to so many fans, sometimes had his dissociating face while doing so. also smelled very nice. his hairy arms….. I shall not speak.

- Alex was a sweetheart <3 tall and smiley. very welcoming even if some people tried to swarm him. very friend shaped.

- I will protect Jack Doohan with my entire life, he’s so sweet and shy. will kill and maim for him. he’s also really tall but somehow tiny. saw him in his biking gear that left nothing to imagination.

- also saw Valtteri biking in his lycra (?) suit, 10/10 ass right in front of my face.

- also saw James Vowles exiting the paddock. he got swarmed by so many kids asking for his autograph, it felt like he was there to sign them to Williams. which is ironic.

- Jonathan Wheatley was in his phone while going out, wheeling out his little suitcase. I looked at him longingly. silver fox indeed.

emotionally it felt… like nothing else. I’m very keen on preserving the child-like wonderment inside of me and seeing F1 cars on track live for the first time reignited that unadulterated happiness that many of us are constantly chasing. it may not have been the best outcome of the race but I understand the appeal of watching a gp in person. it truly feels differently and, to each their own, somehow it’s better than just watching on screen.

the entire ordeal with getting to the fanzone stage first was worth it. and getting a card signed by Yuki and Daniel + Aston Martin posting me twice on main is just proof of that ahaha but honestly. great way to see the drivers up close for the first time. they felt so real.

Monday felt weird because I got used to only wearing f1 merch and constantly sprinting to get myself places. the comedown from such high intensity emotion even knocked a couple of tears out of me (allegedly). I definitely want to try and attend races more often now.

to be very honest with you, I wasn’t done being happy. and I really want to go back to the beginning. but we go on. so vicsy gp is signing off (for now). hopefully not for too long!

[falloutboydescribed]

Boys shoot for big time (Pioneer Press, August 21, 2003)

Written by Matthew Pais, staff intern

[Image description: A newspaper clipping of this article as it appeared in Alternative Press #303's "The Oral History of 'Take This to Your Grave'". It is captioned "Full page write up in the Pioneer Press." End ID]

For the young members of Fall Out Boy, homecoming no longer means football games, dancing and formalwear. Instead, it means a day-long stop in their hometown and the rare opportunity to sleep in their own beds. 

Which is exactly what three out of the four band members were doing one recent afternoon. The Boys had arrived on the North Shore at 5 a.m. that morning after playing a show in Lincoln, Nebraska. At 1 p.m., singer Patrick Strump, 20, guitarist Joe Trohman, 18, and drummer Andy Hurley, 23, were still sound asleep. 

Bassist Pete Wentz, 24, has learned to survive on no sleep. 

With tattoos running down his arms and a logo-free blue cap twisted on his head to a 30-degree angle from his forehead, Wentz may not be the prototypical alumnus of Winnetka's North Shore Country Day School. But he just might be the busiest. 

Fall Out Boy performed approximately 200 shows in the past year, traveling across the country in a run-down van to play their energetic brand of emotive pop-punk. 

On the road 

"We have to drive with the heat on when it gets hot," Wentz said, during a conversation at an outdoor table of a Wilmette sandwich shop. "You've never had it worse than driving with the heat on in 120-degree weather through the desert." 

Touring has its downside. "The first four days, it's really good and fresh," Wentz said. "Then homesickness sets in." 

According to Wentz, the band is rarely short on subjects worth arguing about, from the cost of a tour bus to the prospect of the music industry ever seeing another Beatles or Elvis. He said that the disputes never last long. "Five minutes later, we're laughing about it," he said. "These guys are like brothers to me, so our arguments are like family arguments." 

Wentz, a Wilmette resident, is not the only member of the band with a North Shore connection. Stumph, a native of Glenview, graduated from Glenbrook South, and Trohman lives in Winnetka and is a New Trier alum. Hurley is from Milwaukee. 

Early ambition 

Wentz learned to play the guitar when he was 7, and picked up a bass guitar at 14. "I kinda always wanted to be in a band," he said. "It's like the best job in the world." 

"I had no idea he was as talented as he obviously is, but it doesn't surprise me that he would be inclined to express himself in that way," says North Shore Country Day School teacher Kevin Randolph, who had Pete (or "Peter," as he calls him), in his 11th grade U.S. history class. 

"Some kids are just there for the grades, Peter was there because he had questions he wanted answers to." And even as a teen, Wentz was no follower. 

"He didn't take his cue from what was popular in terms of what to wear or what to listen to," said Randolph. "He clearly did not look like a kid out of Abercrombie and Fitch, but we are a school that values diversity." 

Falling in

Fall Out Boy started when Wentz and Trohman, already good friends, began writing songs just for fun. After meeting Strump, the three musicians soon added Hurley, an old friend of Wentz, to complete the band. 

The band soon moved onto the fast track. "When it took off, we dropped everything," said Wentz, who left DePaul University in his junior year to concentrate on music. 

He found leaving school an easy decision. "Nobody really looks back on their life and thinks they should have taken less chances." he said. 

In the past year, Fall Out Boy has released its debut album, "Take This to Your Grave," on Fueled by Ramen records, and has appeared at the South by Southwest exhibition in Texas, a prestigious showcase where record companies watch up and coming talent in concert. Wentz said the white-collar crowd did not really get a taste of what Fall Out Boy is all about. "Our performance was way more low-key and didn't really represent who we are." 

When watching the video for Fall Out Boy's "Dead on Arrival," it's hard not to think of the footage from the Beatles final concert or the video for U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name." Though the music may be faster and fiercer, the rebellion is undeniable: the police shut down Fall Out Boy's concert after only four songs, Wentz said. "It was just one of the most insane experiences of my life," he explained. 

The video was filmed at Arlington Heights' Knights of Columbus, where the band had previously played a show for a packed crowd of fans who sang along to all of the songs. Wentz said that experience proved that Fall Out Boy was on its way to something special. "We were like, 'Whoa, this is bigger than us,' " Wentz said. 

He adds that though he gets nervous before performances, ""As soon as I step on the stage, I know exactly what I'm doing," he said. "Afterwards, sometimes I throw up." 

Wentz's modesty reveals itself in his reaction to fame. "Why would anybody want my autograph?" he wonders. 

Dark side 

He may be young, but Wentz's lyrics, which comprise 90% of the songs on "Take This to Your Grave," reflect bitterness toward love. Consider "Chicago is So Two Years Ago," on which he writes, "You want apologies girl, you might hold your breath until your breathing stops/The only things you'll get is this curse on your lips: I hope they taste of me forever/With every breath I wish your body will be broken again." 

Writing has always been a way for Wentz to deal with his emotions. "Lots of times I'd rather sit at home with a pen on a Friday night than go out," Wentz said. He said that he often writes with acid in the pen, as evidenced by "The Pros and Cons of Breathing," in which he writes, "My pen is the barrel of the gun/remind me which side you should be on/I wish I was as invisible as you make me feel." 

You would never know it from his quick smile and easy manner, but sadness seems to be Wentz's best inspiration. On the band's Web site, he describes his favorite pastimes as "Misery, horrible thoughts and writing." 

Music as therapy 

Wentz said that he is not alone in his use of music as therapy. "Everyone medicates themselves with music," he said. "It's really important for music to be involved in everyone's life." 

The bassist adds that everything he writes is drawn from real-life feelings. "We write honest lyrics and honest music," he said. "I feel like these are issues that everyone can relate to." 

The band's commitment to honesty is reflected in Wentz's musical likes and dislikes. He lists The Police, The Cure, Elvis Costello, Green Day, and a slew of New York hard-core punk bands as influences but says he has little respect for the pop-punk posers on MTV. "These TRL guys who act like they have their hearts on their sleeve really just have their egos on their sleeve," he said.

Wentz is grateful for what the band has accomplished thus far. "I think we're the luckiest band around," he said. "I hope I can look back on it and remember it as a really important part of my growing up."

[hanasnx]

canadian here - canada's pretty okay. if you wanna move somewhere progressive stick with the big cities and not to dunk on the other provinces but BC and Ontario are probably the best in that sense (and ofc the most expensive sorry). Alberta is only semi jokingly known as the Texas of Canada so do with that what you will. Never been but from what I've heard you do need to speak French to get by in Quebec so unless you do or want to learn I wouldn't super recommend it.

as a Vancouverite I gotta rep my city- it's super diverse and really queer friendly, and in those regards feels really safe. plus the Pacific northwest is fantastic - so so much nature, loads of beaches, ski resorts, islands, lakes, trails, forests, and the temp goes from about -3 to 30 degrees Celsius, so not too extreme. Not sure what you've been told about Canadian wildlife but it's really not that bad - you only get bears in the suburbs and outwards and as long as you keep alert and keep your head on you it's fine. same with the coyotes.

downsides of Vancouver: job market is TOUGH atm, especially for entry level jobs. cost of living and housing especially is also really bad, and there is a fairly significant homelessness/drug/mental health problem that makes certain parts of the city not super safe

politically we are coming to a crossroads - Justin Trudeau, the current PM & with the Liberal Party, is near universally hated at this point, mostly for economic reasons, and the NDP party is never gonna win, so unless Trudeau gets his wakeup call and steps down, at our next election we might be looking at a Conservative government, which would not be ideal. not trump-levels of devastating but not ideal.

anyways you should come to Canada indy!! it's definitely not perfect but we'd love to have you <3

i do know the area im going to be moving to already but this was super informative about the surroundings thank you so much for being thorough i really appreciate it. and for explaining the political landscape too! super helpful

right now my worries lie in the work visa and it’s stipulations because i know i can’t apply for PR or citizenship for a couple years at least. updating my passport and applying for a visa is my next move, and then i know the canadian gov has to let me know if i’m approved and then give me the info on where i’m allowed to work and how long.

i’m guessing since my record was expunged there shouldn’t be a problem with that at least. what i am worried about is my history with keeping a job is not super good, and i’m worried that if i obtain a visa to work a specific place, and then fuck it up, then i’ll be shit outta luck

my other problem is the cost of living and how i’ll basically be forced to work to keep up with the visa and to afford actually eating and being alive.

if you don’t mind me picking your brain a bit more, healthcare is a big thing for me right now. does it differ from province to province and does it cover mental health services and issues? would therapy be on the table or is that an out of pocket cost or would i need better insurance etc

if you don’t know that’s cool! i’m just gathering as much info i can on the subject before i dive in, as i often do

[sky-chau]

Hey! I hope it's okay to ask for some clarification about your eyepatch post (and I hope I don't offend, I'm asking because I want to get it right while writing it and I'm unsure if Google would be of help here!)

So... What is the eyepatch for? You mentioned going to a pediatric surgeon-- is it for recovery from the surgery? But then you made it sound like this was a long term thing, not a short term thing for recovery-- so are you just able to see better with only one eye? Could it be either depending on the person's circumstances?

What (if anything) determines which eye is covered (assuming both eyes are equally near/farsighted... Or are crosseyed eyes never going to be equal in that way?)

Additionally, what is the name (and purpose, if you feel like it) of the surgery you're referencing? I want to learn more about that as well but I think I can probably Google it if I know what it's called.

Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day❣️

I was actually going to make an update post about the eyepatch/my surgery, so thanks for the reminder!

[Important note about all of this: All of what I am saying is true to my own personal experience with this. This is not medical advice and my experience is not universal. There are many different eye problems that use eye patches for different reasons and I'm by no means an expert on all of them. I'm not even an expert on the issue mine was compensating for.]

When I made the original post I was 30 degrees crosseyed and had persistent double vision as a result of this. (I did see what you replied with on the original post afterwards and I think in your case specifically you might be fine. When I say crosseyed or double vision I'm talking long term and persistent. If you only have double vision while laying on your side or looking at your nose, that's normal from what I've been told.) By the time I noticed I was crosseyed I was already at 30 degrees and struggled to figure out where my mouse cursor was on the screen. I had also already subconsciously developed a habit of closing one eye to compensate. Note that most people notice and report being cross eyed at around 15 degrees. So the fact that it took me until I literally had trouble doing things to realize I had double vision gives you an idea of how long some level of double vision was accepted in my brain as normal. I've likely been at a lower degree my whole life and just happened to notice a significant jump in the past two years.

At the time I had posted the original piece I had just finished up the consultation where they confirm the degree and direction of the cross. So like before they're willing to make any cuts they make sure that they know how to cut or something. The downside of the pediatric surgeons is that if I wanted to know the scientific name of the problem or its corresponding surgery I'd have to have remembered to ask at the time. Big words scare little kids so I'm pretty sure they habitually use the dumbed down explanations. Which I didn't notice until just now.

Now I'm actually post surgery. It's been almost two weeks now. My eye looks absolutely gnarly and hurts quite a bit but I don't have to wear the patch anymore and I can actually force the problematic eye to look in the correct direction (or close to it) which isn't something I was able to do before the surgery. I've been told I won't be seeing the full benefits of surgery until a few months have passed. Also my eye is gonna continue looking gnarly for the same amount of time.

The actual vision quality of that eye isn't effected by the surgery. It's not Lasik. They played with the muscles that tell the eye where to look so it should be more in line with where my brain thinks it's looking.

My eyes are a bit weird. One has better vision at a distance and the other has better vision up close. The theory as to how I got a lazy/crosseye is that I went too long without updating my glasses prescription and spent a lot of time favoring one eye over the other depending on what I was looking at. Since my prescription wasn't quite right my brain learned to ignore one eye because it's vision wasn't too hot and basically gave it the invitation to look wherever because the brain wasn't following it anyway. It strays further and further until I have double vision most hours of the day.

When I started wearing an eyepatch it was because I had already gotten confirmation that wearing one wouldn't make the issue any worse and I couldn't see where things were accurately. Like I'd reach out to grab a thing and my hand would go straight through the ghost image (from the lazy eye). Both images look ghostly it's just one is from an eyeball that's not actually looking in the direction my brain thinks it is and is therefore way off.

What eye the patch was on did matter as a result of this. If I put the patch on the wrong eye my entire sense of balance went out the window. Because the brain is interpreting my surroundings based on where it thinks my good eye is looking, so when it only has the misbehaving eye it doesn't compute and I walk like I'm drunk, bumping into things.

I bumped into things (usually street signs or people) with the patch on the correct eye too but, that's just the fact that I had no peripheral vision on the side with the patch. So yeah, my friends got in the habit of putting themselves on the side with the patch when we walk together so I don't hit my head on the many temporary stop signs (lots of road construction in the area.)

But yeah. I'm recovering from surgery now and am cleared to go back to work on Friday. But I will still be recovering and healing for the next few months. I'm sorta relearning how to see and hand eye coordination is a part of that. I'm not gonna push myself too hard drawing wise. Gotta keep it fun because yeah, everything feels really weird and I don't wanna frustrate myself over relearning how to drive my hands.

Feel free to reblog this or ask other questions. I don't mind.

[dogsagainstthehatman]

Why I hate Argentina is Victoria 3

There is a meme about a monkey who learns about Argentinas economic system and kills itself and Paradox takes that to heart.

I thought Argentina would be a nice easy campaign slowly growing an economy out of the way in the nice resource rich Latin America. Mexico and Brazil have been some of my most relaxing campaigns.

And holy moley was I wrong.

Here is what I discovered.

1. Argentina has NO PEOPLE.

Normally the early game is pretty easy as you employ peasants who working anywhere offers a better life than subsistence farms. Since Argentina has no population it makes it hard to get demand for good.

However, everything is expensive in the country. The price of goods is based on a ratio of supply and demand (no duh.)

So that means normally a deficit of 30 furniture is wonderful. However in 1836 Argentina a 30 deficit of furniture means your standard of living plummets and people get mad.

Well what's the big deal? You've a degree in economics, a high price is an indicator to build more furniture manufacturing right?

Well if you build more furniture manufacturing it gives you 45 more furniture. Now the price of furniture plummets.

Not to mention almost every building employs around 5000 people per level.

So you put half your available workforce to work building furniture, the price plummets, and now people are getting fired.

Oh also the price of wood just skyrocketed which makes the furniture manufacturing EVEN LESS PROFITABLE

Now of course the obvious solution is as their president said is for Argentinians to come on boats from Europe.

Right? Well Argentinains happen to be very racist. So the only people who can move there are Europeans. You can't not be racist due to the legacy slavery in the country.

Now okay, so let's employ the slaves Ibhear you say.

Well the slaves are a very small part of the population. Legacy slavery means we can't import slaves (which honestly may make some sense but it's not worth it in the game meta in my opinion.)

So you have all of the downsides of slavery and none of the good.

So, what does Argentina have going for it?

Well....you have a lot of natural infustructure. Which if you could build anything would be nice.

Also the literacy rate is actually kind of high. Literacy is important because it qualifies people for most lower strata jobs, which is good because you will be automating A LOT.

Anyway thank you for getting this far. This country is an absolute son of a bitch but it has become my pet project so I will give some updates.

[haledamage]

and Wayhaven asks for Kira: I also want to know 15, 29, and, um, 30, bc I think I know all the rest already xD

15. Would they have reacted to Falk's flirting, if given the opportunity?

in a situation where she wasn't already deep in her feelings about one of our favorite vampires... probably. he is very pretty, if a little intense, and I'm starting to get a sense that she likes men with long hair

but as it stands, no. by the end of book 2, she's already very aware of how she feels, and has probably considered the L-word at least once on all the routes (with various levels of trepidation)

29. If they could have chosen a different profession, what would it be?

I have a half-formed au of Kira as an editor for the newspaper instead of a detective, which I think would suit her really well! it would be a job that would actually use her English degree, and would let her apply both her people skills and her deductive/knowledge skills. plus, it would let her be selectively antisocial instead of being so public-facing like her detective job!

the only downside being... Bobby. so much interacting with Bobby. but hey, at least she might be able to report him for sexual harassment if he keeps calling her "angel"

(the reason it's only a half-formed au is because I haven't figured out how Kira would actually get involved with all the Unit Bravo/Agency stuff. she wouldn't have any reason to cross paths with Murphy, and UB aren't good enough actors to convince Kira that a small town newspaper editor needs a team of four trained secret agents to protect her. the only way it would happen is if outside forces dragged her into it. or if only one team member went in undercover or something 🤔 hmmmm, that has potential)

30. Any funfacts about them you'd like to add?

hmmmm what fun facts do I have about Kira that I haven't already shared...

oh! I really want to give her another tattoo after the events of book 3, or between 3 and 4 depending on if there's any timeskip there. something unique to each romance but not necessarily like a romantic tattoo, if you know what I mean

the idea came to me because one of my favorite tattoo artists had some flash designs that involved crystals and I was like 👀

(not this exact design, but it was along the same line)

and now all I can think is Kira getting a crystal tattoo on Mason's route (probably on her sternum, right about where it would hang if it were on a necklace 👀)

I haven't figured out what she'd get on Nate's or Felix's route yet. they are very difficult to pin a solid idea on, but I'm working on it

I have a few possible thoughts for Adam's route, but I keep coming back to the idea (this is your fault, you put this in my head) of "fear makes us fighters" along the slope between her neck and shoulder, starting just under the scar from Murphy >:3 won't that be a fun thing for Adam to (eventually) find when he (eventually) gets his act together and (eventually) romances Kira the way she deserves

also not really a fact about her, but I'm considering retconning parts of Kira's backstory and making her American 😆 pretty sure that idea came about because I wrote a line in something recently where she mentioned her senior prom and then I had to go down a research rabbit hole to find out if that's even a thing outside the US

plus, once I look past Mishka's Britishness leaking through, Wayhaven does have deep-south-small-town vibes. somewhere near Savannah or Charleston, maybe 🤔

[newsource21]

Harris Stops Talking About Climate Change

As the high costs of green policies hit, it’s becoming a lose-lose issue for politicians of the left

In an election characterized by bitter clashes, it’s notable that one typically divisive topic has gone almost unmentioned: climate change. President Trump doesn’t have much to say on the subject. But Vice President Harris’s silence is revealing—not only about American voters, but also the fundamental problem of climate policy today.

You might think Ms. Harris could use the partisan divide on climate policy to her advantage. If she hammered Mr. Trump’s frequent recitations of “drill baby, drill,” it could drive turnout from liberal voters who fear the Republican would increase fossil fuel production. She has hardly been neutral on this issue in the past. The vice president personally made the most expensive U.S. climate policy in history into law when she cast the deciding vote for President Biden’s Inflation Reduction Act in 2022.

Yet Ms. Harris mentioned climate just once in her acceptance speech. The environment hardly figured in her debate with Mr. Trump. Ms. Harris used her time to champion domestic gas production and make it “very clear” she won’t ban fracking.

One reason for her silence is that, despite a media and elite fixation on climate, the issue can easily become a vote loser. Cutting emissions is a particular problem in swing states like Pennsylvania where such policies would lead to sweeping layoffs of energy workers. Across the country, Americans rank climate change far down among their priorities—below the availability and cost of energy.

As climate policy turns from distant, grandiose promises of future carbon cuts into the very real prospect of present-day energy price hikes, U.S. voters are asking whether it’s worth it. This is the first presidential election in which the economic consequences of green ideals have become real with less reliable power and higher total energy costs. A new YouGov survey shows that less than a quarter of the electorate supports a rapid transition to renewables. Among Democrats, the idea only gets about a third of respondents’ support. Only 47% of voters said they would support spending even $1 more each month on their electricity bill to fight climate change.

Underlying this electoral problem for Ms. Harris is a tricky policy one: The climate policies she would offer promise huge costs for negligible benefits. It’d be one thing to ask for sacrifices that could save the planet. But even at a whopping official price tag of $369 billion over 10 years, the Inflation Reduction Act’s climate measures as written were likely to lower the projected global temperature in 2100 by less than 0.03 degree Fahrenheit. In reality, the IRA has turned out to be an even rawer deal. The cost has rapidly ballooned to somewhere north of $3 trillion over 30 to 40 years, even as emission cuts have been slower and smaller than predicted. No wonder Ms. Harris isn’t trumpeting it.

The truth of the matter is that nothing Ms. Harris does to cut carbon can stop climate change. It’s developing nations that are driving emissions in this century. Even if the U.S. achieved net-zero carbon emissions overnight and stayed that way for the rest of the century—basically destroying its economy and much of American quality of life—the 2100 projected global temperature would only drop 0.3 degree Fahrenheit based on the United Nations’ climate model.

Climate policy has increasingly become a lose-lose for progressive politicians. Mentioning climate policies alienates moderate voters who worry about their tremendous cost. But acknowledging these downsides alienates the young voters who are enthusiastic about green ideals. If you admit net zero could be a bit unrealistic, they feel betrayed.

Cynically though, the same green activist groups that urged the Biden administration to spend trillions of dollars on climate policies have publicly supported Ms. Harris’s decision to stay quiet about climate. They worry that being too green in the campaign could turn off voters. But if Ms. Harris wins, they’ll be right back at the White House, lobbying for even more expensive policies.

A far more honest approach from advocates and politicians would be to abandon unrealistically expensive carbon cuts for cheap investments in green energy research and development. American ingenuity could hasten the day the world finds a clean energy source that is genuinely cheaper than current fossil fuels—whether that be much cheaper solar and wind energy with massive storage, fourth generation nuclear, or another technology altogether. Countries would then voluntarily transition to green energy because it is cheaper. Not only would American voters get on board, but so would this century’s biggest emitters, India, China and Africa.

For politicians, climate policy was much easier to sell when it involved far-off, monumental promises. This is the first U.S. election in which it has become evident that though benefits remain distant, the costs are increasingly large and immediate. Voters see that—and by staying silent, it’s clear that Ms. Harris does too.

https://www.wsj.com/opinion/harris-stops-talking-about-climate-change-green-policies-costs-7d4b31ed?st=9xpb7J

[nathank77]

6/12/24

8:38 p.m Edited/Added to

So I woke up at 3:30 p.m. I struggled to sleep for at least a hour. I also had my heart rate go crazy with palpitations for like 3 minutes solid. I guess i had a panic attack.

I was worried I was going to have to take Benadryl and then that wouldn't work and I'd have to smoke pot. Thankfully I fell asleep, it must have been before 8:12 a.m. that's when my sleep timer was going to turn off my tv. And I didn't hear American dad randomly just stop... but I really struggled. The day after the 1mg is always terrible.

I had weird dreams where I didn't sleep again. I know I had them bc I know I didnt hear American dad turn off and the chanty happy birthdays would have made me turn the tv back on. That's the only way I could have distinguished reality versus my trauma dreams.

I woke up at 2:30. I had to pee. I tried to hold it and I realized I wasn't going to sleep if I did. So I peeded and I actually fell back to sleep until 3:30 p.m. not immediately but the hour went by too fast for me to just be laying there with my eyes closed... I didn't take drugs that's an accomplishment.

I also a couple mental pictures with auditory hallucinations..... at like 2:30.. I don't remember them I don't want to. They suck.

I woke up at 3:30 went for bloodwork. My thyroid test was not there just my comprehensive metabolic Panel. I almost left cause it's useless without getting my thyroid levels pulled but luckily she found an older order and we got both. I'm awaiting results.

I went shopping after and grabbed water despite not really needing it cause I would have needed it next week and I'm still waiting on the ethics case. The two assholes weren't there but I recorded everything. I talked to the camera. Had it watch me tear open my pack. Had it watch me put back together the pack I didn't buy. I even counted my pack and the pack I put back. I was obvious and obnoxious. I took out the crunchy water bottles and showed how my hands got wet cause the products are damaged and this is why I started doing it in the first place. I made a fucking show of it. I got a 17 minute video. I really will make this national for being discriminated against for being mentally ill and of color. Don't think I won't fight for myself Walmart.

Then I went to stop and shop and bjs. And I should be able to avoid going out until next Wednesday for food but it depends... I want to do the car wash Saturday. If the weather changes then I won't.... and I'll grab a chicken. That's the only downside of not going grocery shopping Friday or Saturday. Friday I'm playing silent hill. Saturday I'm either getting the car wash or going for chicken..

Sunday is father's day... I'm planning to go obv. I just have no money for a card. I'll plan another me day for the 18th. I'm trying to cut out game days for a reason.

I got my graduation frame and I'm going to hang up my bachelor's and masters tonight. Then shower. I also got l salivarius I'll start that tonight with my cheese snack. Other than that Maybe before I shower I may go to the attic and grab my addias shorts and boxers. I'm going to do laundry tomorrow cause it accumulated fast.

I'm really lonely. I'm just trying to stay busy. The one thing I hate about my degrees are the two different names. My masters is my current name. My bachelor's is the long one I changed bc it was too long... I want to get reprints of both with Nathan Blanchette. No middle cause we all know imma change my name again anyways.

As much as my hallucination ruined the name Nathan. There is always Nate and I can ask people to call me Dexter. I got to call my old schools to see if they'll reprint my degrees eventually but that's not really on my list yet. I got get the car wash, call my endo about the standing monthly thyroid test, schedule the MacBook. And then it's next.

I also got to decide if going to the gym makes more sense then pursuing all this teeth shit I really can't afford. I think I'm going to move on it. I might start the 17th..it makes sense with the monthly billing cycle.

[fayyet]

Super Struggle Bros: Learning B0xx as a Melee Newbie, Pt. 2

This controller is a LOT to learn.

Once I got down how to “move” again but not run off the edge of the stage & die immediately (internalizing the placement of the jump button took time), I then had to learn that using Mod 1/2 (also referred to as mX/mY) allow my character to walk at two speeds while holding them. Turns out, you’ll need to be using those mX/mY buttons for special attacks as well, but only if you’re not in a full dash. Rookie stuff, but complicated thanks to this controller. After climbing over those hurdles, I then needed to internalize the general button layout. Understanding where Shielding (L/R) was was tricky. Not triggering accidental Specials (B) took time. Relearning the timing of short-hops was tough. Learning that I needed to move my fingers from top row to bottom row for wave dashing took getting used too, despite the benefits it has for certain characters. After a week, I felt that I was getting the basics down. Once I got to angles, my head exploded. Press pressing any of the 4 cardinal directions, you get an angle. Add in mX/mY with, say, holding Down and Left, you can change a 45 degree angle to either 30 degrees of 59.5. This is extremely important as it gives you access to new wavedash angles, recovery tools, etc. Now, with this in mind, lemme tell you that you can add any of the C-stick buttons in for extra precision. So, combining two directions + mX/mY + a C-stick button means you’re hitting 4 buttons in nearly a split second to land precise angles

It cannot be said that the mental stack of learning this controller on top of learning Melee, a fast & technical game with a 20+ year meta, complicated the learning curve for me, a beginner with nearly little experience with competitive games. This journey was just simply hard and frustrating at times! There’s a possibility that my overall progress has been slowed thanks to learning how to playing Melee in this unintended way. It didn’t help that I couldn’t really follow the logic of B0xx’s various design nerfs & considerations, as I didn’t have a deep knowledge of Melee to really understand the implications of 4f SDI lockouts, 2IP methods, etc. What’s really funny about all this is that B0xx is regarded as “questionably optimal” for Sheik, my chosen main. While explaining specifics is beyond the scope of this article, the various nerfs & button placements of default B0xx wind up being a detriment in some ways (nerfed Reaction Tech-chasing thanks to B0xx angles), and a blessing in others (easier access to tilts). This is unlike other characters like Fox, Falco, Marth, Puff, or Captain Falcon, who all experience few downsides on B0xx despite the nerfs to wavedashe lengths. In 2021, I had a huge heap of work in front of me, and the only remedy for all of this was a lot of extra work, studying, & time spent playing. Over time, not only has it become much easier to learn about new things B0xx provides (Melee is a deep game & this controller offers alternative ways to access the various tools & techniques found in the game), but this controller frankly is the only way I’ll ever play Smash Bros again. After all, to me, the Gamecube Controller is an input peripheral made for a console that was aimed at kids, not a tool intended to be used for thousands of hours by adults. To be fair, I did later learn all the ways I could be stretching & exercising my hands to be in optimal health, and there are great guides now that can help you learn how to put yourself in good health: This video below is actually pretty good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qtn_uoLQHQ For me, the B0xx was the only way I could have gotten into Melee. Even though learning B0xx was a struggle, at least my hands were not searing with pain throughout the process.

[nurdazds]

Aroma King 700 disposable vape : aroma king 700 review

Disposable vaporizers are a great way to get your nicotine fix without having to smoke. And with Aroma King 700, you can customize your vaping experience in a variety of ways. In this review, we’ll take a closer look at this disposable vape and see if it’s the right choice for you. After all, when it comes to vaporizing, quality is key.

What is the Aroma King 700?

The Aroma King 700 is a disposable vaporizer that comes with a 650mah battery. It has a temperature range of 100-400 degrees Fahrenheit and can hold up to 0.5 grams of dry herb. The device is easy to use, features adjustable airflow and lasts for around 30 minutes before needing to be recharged.

The Aroma King 700 is perfect for users who want an easy to use, portable vape that offers great value for money. It has a wide temperature range and can handle both dry herb and waxes, making it the perfect choice for anyone looking for an all-round vaporizer.

What are the features of the Aroma King 700?

The Aroma King 700 is one of the most affordable and user-friendly disposable vape pens on the market. It has a 300mAh battery that can last up to 30 minutes, and it comes with three different flavor cartridges (mango, tobacco, and vanilla). The Aroma King 700 also has a built-in LED light that allows you to see your vape while you're vaping, and it has an easy-to-use design.

What are the pros and cons of the Aroma King 700?

The Aroma King 700 is a disposable vaporizer that comes in three different flavors: menthol, mint, and tobacco. It has two heating chambers, meaning you can vape either dry or wet herbs. The downside to the Aroma King 700 is that it only has one temperature setting (300 degrees Fahrenheit). However, the upside is that it's very affordable at just $10 per unit. Additionally, the device features an automatic shutoff feature, so you don't have to worry about over-vaping. The only other downside to the Aroma King 700 is that its battery life isn't very long (approximately six minutes).

How to use Aroma king 700 disposable Vape?

If you're looking for an economical way to vape your favorite e-liquid, the Aroma King 700 disposable vaporizer is a great option. This small, lightweight device features three temperature settings and a long battery life. Just add your favorite e-liquid and inhale, and you're ready to get vaping.

To use the Aroma King 700, first charge the battery by inserting it into the included charger. Once charging is complete, remove the battery from the charger and replace it with your e-liquid cartridge. To activate the device, simply turn it on by pressing down on the activation button for three seconds. The green light will flash once you've activated it, and you're ready to start vaping.

The Aroma King 700 offers three temperature settings - cool (med), normal (high), and hot (ultra high). You can adjust these settings by pressing down on the activation button until you reach the desired temperature. The device will then stay at that setting until you change it or plug it in to recharge.

The Aroma King 700 has a long battery life - up to approximately 650 puffs per charge. If you don't use the device for a while, be sure to put it in its storage compartment to avoid overcharging.

Overall, the Aroma King 700 is an affordable and reliable disposable vaporizer that offers great flavor and performance in a small package. If you're looking for an economical way to vape your favorite vape go for this

Aroma king 700 review

The Aroma King 700 is one of the newer disposable vape pens on the market. If you're looking for an easy to use, no-frills vape pen that does the job well, this might be a good option for you.

The Aroma King 700 uses disposable cartridges that are refillable with your favorite e-juice. The battery is easily accessible and can last up to two hours per cartridge.

The Aroma King 700 comes with a variety of tips to help you get the most out of your vaping experience. It also has a built-in temperature control system, so you can customize your vaping experience according to your preferences.

Overall, if you're looking for an affordable and easy to use disposable vape pen, the Aroma King 700 might be a good option for you.

Conclusion

Overall, the Aroma King 700 disposable vape is a great device that provides an intense vapor experience. It's easy to use and clean, making it a good choice for first-time vapers. While it does have a few drawbacks, such as its somewhat low battery life and steep price tag, overall we found it to be a worthy investment. If you're looking for an excellent all-in-one vaping experience that won't break the bank, the Aroma King 700 should definitely be at the top of your list. Thanks for reading!

FAQ's

What are the ingredients in Aroma King disposable vape?

Aroma King disposable vape is made with propylene glycol, vegetable glycerin, nicotine and flavorings.

How often should I replace my Aroma King disposable vape cartridge?

You should replace your cartridge every four to six weeks.

How much nicotine is in an Aroma King disposable vape cartridge?

There are three different nicotine levels available for the Aroma King disposable vape: 0mg, 3mg, and 6mg. Each cartridge has 50 doses.

[cursedbyastro]

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝗶: hi neighbor! the semi-sextile

© cursedbyastro 2022 - all rights reserved

want to learn more? here's part i – masterlist for minor aspects

you might think that a semi-sextile is the "little sister" to the sextile, however it operates more like a conjunction in my opinion. it takes on it's own properties separate from a sextile as can act as a neutral aspect sometimes

literal definition: semi-sextiles occur with neighboring signs (ex. aries with taurus or pisces or like aquarius with capricorn and pisces) are at 30° apart from each other

a semi-sextile makes signs/planets constantly at the edge of the corner. they can just barely “see” each other before the text person makes the turn. like how the sun and the moon can get a glimpse of each other as one sets and the other rises, but never quite meeting (so sad..)

think of the semi-sextile as the two enemies that hate each other, and are forced to work with each other. but they discover that they have more in common than they think

some astrologists completely disregard the semi-sextile or consider it a “bad aspect”. however, just like any sign/aspect in astrology, nothing is inherently “bad” it is just how the energies mix together and/or how you handle these energies

when i think of semi-sextiles, i think of EVOLUTION. semi-sextiles are all about learning lessons, moving out of the comfort zone and letting go, developing premature energies, the clue to finding hidden opportunities, finding similarities in the differences, “right place right time”, waiting to take action, helping to try to merge energies, etc.

however, like any aspect, the semi-sextile has its downsides as well. the road to getting these energies to work together can be hard at first. patience is the key and being open to transformation. it seems like these energies cannot possibly merge together. they are constantly at odds and/or just have different ways of going about things.

just like my rules for quintiles and biquintiles, i keep semi-sextiles at an orb of 2 degrees or tighter & I try to only use personal planets or angles to ensure that the energies can be felt as intense as they can get. however, i try for exact aspects for minor aspects most of the time.

examples:

natal with venus semi-sextile pluto, you are passionate about what you love and what you love. you are drawn to powerful and compelling emotional and sexual attractions and experiences that you may feel you have little choice or control over. you crave intensity and these incidents provide you with the opportunity to satisfy your immediate desires. a tendency to be very jealous of and possessive is apparent. you tend to keep tight reins on your partners, you do not want them to question or control you in any way. this makes for very one-sided types of relationships. you need to become aware that your jealous and possessive traits will drive away these people that want to love you. the challenge here is to transform your values. important psychological problems are being worked out because of and through your relationships with others. because of this you may attract people who are bad for you. this acts as a form of karma for the things you have done to others because of your refusal to change. you are now reaping what you have sown previously. you are being given the chance to wipe your slate clean if you do not respond to evil with evil. Release all thoughts of revenge and learn to turn the other cheek. This shows a readiness to "pay" for past mistakes and cruelties.

composite sun semi-sextile mars you are both completely different individuals but you see where each other is coming from and can meet each other half way on most things. there is tremendous energy in the relationship that can be hard to control at times. your sex drives and sexual expression might be different but you can both live with the differences as they are usually positive. sometimes, it can lead to problems (big or small) popping up in the relationship that inspire some sort of disagreement. there can be some basic clash of egos in your relationship, and this is likely to be the root these problems. there is a need to work on allowing one another to express yourselves and find a constructive outlet for the energy. compromising and discussing problems in the relationship can help so things do not become too heated. it is important to try not to change each other, instead working with the similarities and instead learning from each other's perspective.

as always feedback and personal experiences with these aspects are well appreciated. much love , cursed/e ୨✩୧

[thebrownssociety]

Encanto - Great-Grandchildren [4th Gen] Headcanons

I did cover some of this in my ‘Miracle’ headcanon but I decided to do another!

Obviously Dolores and Mariano get married.  They got engaged when Dolores was 24, then married when she was 25. They then had a child, a little boy, called Bernardo.  [He was born 02/07/2025, Dolores was 26] I’m kinda thinking his power may be super-speed? Just this little hyperactive child running round that no one could keep up with. The downside of this  power though is he A} had very high metabolism and has to eat proper meals five times a day and B} Gets tired quite easily. After exerting himself he’ll usually need a nap. As an aside he ended up looking a lot like Pedro and Bruno when he grew up, a fact everyone comments on.

The second child they had was called Pablo [11/11/2027]. He looks more like a little version of Mariano, just with slightly darker skin and more of an afro. But in terms of facial shape and height he ends up just like Mariano. Like his mother he ended up with an enhanced sense, his being enhanced sight. He can turn it on and off though. If he goes cross eyed he can see far into the distance. It does have the effect of making him look a bit strange though.  He also gets quite a lot of headaches because of the amount of concentration it takes for him to activate his powers. This also means he spends quite a lot of time sleeping because he runs out of energy easily. 

Then they had a third. They were a bit suspicious about 2 months into the pregnancy when Dolores was much bigger than she had been with the first two. Sure enough she ended up with triplets.  Isabela did comment on this. Unlike her mother she had three girls. Fraternal triplets: Elisabeth, Valentina [Tina] +  Vienna. [28/09/2029]

Elisabeth ended up with fire powers. She just waves her hand and fire appears. She can control the heat of it though and it intensifies the more annoyed she is. Because of this her family worked hard on making sure she has ‘calming down’ time and learns to manage her emotions. Her Great-Auntie Pepa was very  good at this. [Being 58 when Elisabeth was born] She looks like Isabela, but with curly hair and glasses.

Tina has flight. The look on everyone’s faces after her gift ceremony was a  sight to behold as Tina just hovered in the air. Getting her down was interesting as well. Eventually they worked out if she calmed down she’d essentially sink to the floor. She looks just like her mother, but with darker skin. 

Vienna has healing, but it’s not quite like Julieta’s. She ‘heals’ inanimate things, you see. Broken mirror? She hold her hands on it and it fixes itself.  Broken fence panels? Hold one fence  panel  to the other [I.E. the bit where it needs to join] and it’ll join together! The downside of this is that A} it takes time and if it’s an emergency they may not necessarily have time, B} She gets a LOT of requests for help just because even though she can only do it a little bit at a time it tends to be quicker than most ordinary people can manage, and finally C} It takes a lot of  concentration and energy so she can only really do it once or twice a day. She also looks like her mother, but with pencil-straight hair [like Isabela], glasses and darker skin.

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After the events of the movie I headcanon Isabela does a degree in Herbology. It’s a way to challenge herself and learn more about her powers. [She feels if she learns more about plants she may be able to create/manipulate them easier]  

On it she meets  a guy called Alejandro Gonzalez, who’s a year older than her. Like her cousin though Isa insisted they take it slow and they didn’t get engaged until she was 28 [At Christmas 2027] and they then got married in  2028. She  then had her first baby when she was 30. A little boy called Carlos. [14/02/2029] He ended up with teleportation, another headache for the Madrigal family to deal with. Especially as - being 5 - he thought it was great fun to disappear and worry his family for half an hour at a time. Carlos is a bit on the chubby side and has thick curly long hair down to his shoulders. He also has glasses. He looks a little goofy. 

4 years after that Isa and Alejandro decided to have another child and ended up with twins. Fraternal twins Kaleb [Kale] and Teanna. [Anna]. [22/05/2033] The twins [much to the family’s surprise, as it opened up a entirely new can of worms]  inherited Julieta’s and Pepa’s powers respectively. [Pepa was horrified]. Kale ends up being very tall like Augustin and a very short very curly hair. He inherits his father big nose and freckles.  Anna also had curly hair which she had in bunches when younger before letting it grow to shoulder-length when she was a teenager. She also has freckles, but she has inherited Isa’s nose and eyes. Both twins are a little on the stockier side [like their Aunt/Tia Luisa].

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Next child after that was Camillo’s son Nacio. [16/06/2034] who looks like a miniature version of him, but with a slightly different facial shape. [I haven't come up with a name for his future partner yet].  I’m not entirely sure what his powers is, but I’m thinking elasticity? A MOST disturbing power to actually witness as his body parts stretch for quite a long distance before he has to stop. 40 yards, I’m thinking? [I think that’s the length of a football pitch]  He can stretch his arms and legs. He can’t - however - stretch his neck or his spine. This annoys him as he’s actually quite small [inherited his height of his mother who’s also quite small] and he wishes he can grow a bit. 

After that he had Abigail [25/12/2039] who has telekenisis. She can only lift small stuff however. She can’t move building or lorries with her mind. She can move rocks - providing they’re not massive boulders. Her weight limit is basically a small car. It does however take her an enormous amount of effort to lift anything extremely heavy and if she does do that she will end up with a blinding headache and will need to sleep for at least twelve hours. 

Abigail has a workout at the beginning of every day where she lifts 5 things in sequence. A feather, a small sweet, a pencil, a cup and finally a book. Keep her mind in shape so to speak. She is also noticeable in that she takes after Pepa. [And her own mother, who also has red hair, but it’s straighter than Pepa’s] 

Finally he had Leonardo [31/10/2044] who has powers over Ice and Water. Like Elisabeth he just waves her hand and water/ice appears. It tends to be water most of the time unless he’s  annoyed in which case it turns to ice. His favourite trick is to jump in the air and immediately create a water slide under his feet. He has the spirit of Camilo and the looks of Pepa. He and Pepa are very similar in facial features.

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Antonio met his future partner at 14. They got engaged [he proposed to her] when they were 22 and married when they were 24. They finally had a baby when Antonio was 27. They called him ‘Benedicto’. [01/04/2044]  He can turn invisible. Because of this he wears glasses [the type without glass in] so his family can see him when he turns invisible. If he doesn’t want to be found however he takes them off. He looks like Antonio. He’s tall and thin.

Antonio’s daughter is called Felicia [30/09/2046]. She can create forcefields around her and other people. [I.E. the other people have to be inside the forcefield with her] She can also create very small forcefields which look like bubbles that she can throw at people if needed. This has annoyed her brother/cousins immensely. However - like a lot of the 4th Gen’s powers - it takes a lot out her and she usually has to have a bit of recovery time afterwards. She doesn’t actually have to sleep like some of the others do, but she does have to not use her powers for about a few hours after. She ends up being tall like Luisa and inherits the stocky build of Felix. [Antonio’s more lean like his mother] She also has dark skin like Antonio. 

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Finally - Mirabel. She met her future partner at the age of 22. They then got engaged at 25 [Christmas 31] then got married at 26. [June 32] Mirabel had her first - and only - child at 28. He was called ‘Inigo’, [01/01/2035] and he inherited Bruno’s powers. [The poor man nearly had a nervous breakdown when he realised] He doesn't have issues with his eyes, but has inherited his mothers curly hair and artisitic ability.  

So yeah, there you go. My ideas/headcanons for the 4th gen. [And yes, I know Luisa’s not on here. I’ve not quite figured out what happens to her, but I don’t think she has kids. She’s much to scared of hurting them]

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

It was you (Massimo x reader - 365 DNI)

Warnings: swearing/ mentions of minor sexual assault 

Word count: 715

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your life fucking sucked. One minute everything was going great, new job, finally felt like you had started settling in. Then you met the sleazy boss. 

You hadn’t been working for the company long, fresh out of University with a design degree and as luck would have it you managed to find an internship in the city, only 30 minutes from your small apartment. 

The only downside, you were the lowest of the low, the most junior ranking of everyone that worked in the place. So when your new boss started touching your ass here and there when no one was looking, you knew it wasn’t going to end well. 

So here you were, box in hands, sighing at the edge of the building. Fired? FIRED? He deserved the slap, creep. You were angry, upset, pissed off. But obviously being new, being young… no one believed it was self defence. 

Maybe this was a sign, maybe you had jumped into the deep end too soon. Maybe you should have gone to Italy like you had planned, take a year out and see the sights, a one woman adventure, it’s not like anything bad could happen in sunny Italy. 

-1 Week Later - 

You had done it. Goodbye home, hello Italy! You were glad you worked at university, saving up as much as you could to go travelling after it was all over. Taking that job was stupid, this was what you were meant to be doing. You’d worked hard enough, now it was a little time for yourself. 

You’d never travelled alone before, but it was exciting just as much as it was nerve wracking. Luckily, for the first leg of the adventure, your friend Laura was in the same place as you and you met up at the entrance of the airport. You knew her from your foreign exchange trip and had kept in touch ever since. 

She hadn’t changed a bit! As beautiful and bubbly as ever. She fit right in here, looking around you, the place was full of beautiful people… especially a guy you’d seen in a black town car earlier. It was as if all the noise had faded, everything slowed, and his sleek black car rolled past, giving you time to lock eyes. His dark gaze meeting yours, his chiselled jaw clenching as he looked at you through tinted glass. Then, it was over. 

God, you were going to love Italy. 

-A few hours later -

You were never really big on parties, even at school you only went to the smaller events, being the centre of attention was never really your thing. You left that to other people, while you focused on achieving your goals. You were going to try and have fun now though, finally relax and let go after 3 years of brutal studying and working your fingers to the bone. 

You were currently sat around a small square table with Laura and some of her friends, one of them being Lauras boyfriend. They were all laughing at something he had said, you laughed along, but didn’t really understand what the joke was. Being from England, let’s just say…. there were some language barriers. 

Excusing yourself, you went to go and find the bathroom. All those tequilas made you a little unsteady on your unusually high heels, it didn’t help that you had decided to walk down a cobbled path in amongst ornate bushes in stilettos. Damn it… dead end. They must have been the other way. You turned on your heel, and as you did it got caught in between the stones. You thought you were a goner. Imagine, a fancy bar full of posh people dressed to the nines and here you were, about to fall flat on your face. You closed your eyes and braced for a sore landing but it never came. Instead, you were met with a firm grip of a mans arms, encased around your body. You craned your neck to look up at the mysterious stranger, your hero, and gasped. Piercing eyes, sharp clenched jaw line, sweeping dark hair. The man from the car earlier in the day. Dressed head to toe in black, tattoos creeping up his neck and on his firm hands. You gulped. 

“Are you lost baby girl?”

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

7 Subtle Signs Your Trauma Response Is People-Pleasing

In a nutshell, “fawning” is the use of people-pleasing to diffuse conflict, feel more secure in relationships, and earn the approval of others.

It’s a maladaptive way of creating safety in our connections with others by essentially mirroring the imagined expectations and desires of other people.

Often times, it stems from traumatic experiences early on in life.

1. You struggle to feel ‘seen’ by others.

If you’re a fawn type, you’re likely very focused on showing up in a way that makes those around you feel comfortable, and in more toxic relationships, to avoid conflict.

But the downside to this is that you’re not necessarily being your most authentic self. The more you fawn and appease others, the more likely you are to feel unknown to others, even in your close relationships.

If no one sees your authentic self, it can lead to feelings of being misunderstood, and even resenting the fact that no one really “sees” you.

The painful irony is that often times, you’re the one obscuring their ability to see you in the first place.

2. You don’t know how to say ‘no’ to people.

Fawn types are almost always stretched thin. This is because we’re so eager to make others happy, we blurt out “of course!” and “yes!” before it even occurs to us to say “I can’t right now” or “no thanks.”

Your catchphrase might even be something like “it’s no trouble at all, really!”

Meanwhile, you’re silently dreading the mountain of favors you’ve signed up for — a list that only seems to get longer as the day wears on.

You’ve got a love/hate relationship with being helpful, and no matter how many times you try to break up with the word “yes,” saying “no” just doesn’t come naturally to you.

3. You’re either spewing emotions out of nowhere or unloading them onto distant strangers.

This might seem paradoxical, but it’s not, if you really think about it.

You want to make those closest to you happy, which means you’re reluctant to open up when you’re struggling — so you only do so when you’re on the brink of totally breaking down, because you’ve held it all in for far too long.

On the other hand, distance makes it easier to have feelings, too.

Which is why people we’ve just met can suddenly become as intimate as a best friend in a single conversation (and why I became a blogger, let’s be real).

A kind stranger in a bar? Sure, I’ll tell you all about my trauma. Oh, here’s a Twitter thread about the worst thing that ever happened to me. Here’s a frightening Facebook SOS — I mean, status.

We need an outlet for our emotions, but having emotions can be sooo off-putting, right? So we unload them onto people we aren’t yet invested in, that we won’t see again, or where a safe distance (like on social media) is in place.

That way, if someone bails on us for being messy or “too much” — otherwise known as being human — it stings less, and the stakes don’t feel as high.

4. You feel guilty when you’re angry at other people.

You might make a lot of excuses for the lousy behavior of other people, defaulting to self-blame. You might get angry, only to feel like an Actual Monster for having feelings at all five minutes later. You might even feel like you’re not “allowed” to be upset with other people.

I did this just recently when I was almost hit by a car, and immediately went to a place of wondering if I’d simply misunderstood what happened.

It’s pretty hard to “misunderstand” someone hitting the gas pedal when you’re crossing in front of their car, but I was convinced that somehow, some way, it had to be my fault.

If you struggle to get mad at people, opting instead to blame yourself or justify someone’s cruddy behavior, you’re actually fawning — because you’re pushing your feelings down, and rewriting the story, all in an effort to appease the other person involved.

5. You feel responsible for other people’s reactions.

Whenever I recommend a restaurant or a book to someone, there’s a moment or two of intense panic. “What if they hate it?” I wonder. “What if it’s not as good as I remember?”

Sometimes I just let other people make decisions on where we go and what we do together, because if something goes awry, it won’t be because I “failed” to make a good choice.

I once felt guilty because a friend of mine spent 30 minutes looking for parking near the cafe I chose to meet them at. As if I somehow control whether or not a parking space is available.

It’s a little nuts if you think about it, right? Because you can’t arrange someone else’s taste buds, magically know their book preferences, or anticipate whether or not that art exhibit you want to see is actually worth going to.

Yet I take a ridiculous amount of responsibility for whether or not people are having a good time — so much so that I forget that I’m supposed to be enjoying myself, too.

This is just another sneaky manifestation of the “fawn” response in action (and a dash of codependency added in there, for good measure).

We’re trying to anticipate someone else’s happiness, because deep down, we feel responsible for it — and are trying everything in our power to ensure that the people we care about aren’t disappointed.

6. You find yourself compromising your values.

This can be difficult to notice at first. You might think of yourself as being agreeable, good at compromise, easy to get along with. But if you pay attention to the conversations you’re having, you might notice you’re a little too agreeable — to the point of validating viewpoints that you don’t really, fully agree with.

Sometimes it’s benign things, like saying you don’t have a preference for where you get dinner when you actually do. Other times it’s a deeper issue, like validating a perspective or behavior that you don’t agree with.

“Sure, the sexism in that movie really only bothered me a little bit, but you’re so right, the cinematography was top-notch.” “Oh yeah, she probably isn’t being a good friend to you, I can see why you sent that angry text.”

If you find yourself sitting on the fence as not to upset anyone, you’re likely fawning to some degree — and it might be time to self-reflect on whether or not you feel OK continuing to do so.

7. You sometimes dissociate in social situations.

Fawning often requires that we shut down emotionally. The less we have distinct feelings of our own, the easier it is to adapt to and accommodate the emotions of other people.

Sometimes this can lead to dissociating, where we disconnect emotionally. This can show up as daydreaming, spacing out, withdrawing, or even “going blank” when we’re overwhelmed in social situations.

This is also why fawn types can relate so much to other trauma responses, like flight or freeze.

If we feel that “fawning” is failing us in an argument, that it won’t work with a particular person, or that we just don’t know how to please someone, we might check out emotionally, or rely on other “escapist” mechanisms so that we no longer have to engage.

We’re more prone to anything that involves dissociation because we’re already distancing ourselves from our own emotions for the sake of others.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/7-subtle-signs-your-trauma-response-is-people-pleasing#Sound-familiar?