#the ones who keep to themselves
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if i can't get my disability approved, idk what I'm going to do. i'll have to move back in with my parents. and i think i would rather just die. bc i love my parents, but they fucked me up.
this got really long and kinda heavy, so i'm putting the rest under a keep reading thingy
i can talk to my mom about it somewhat. but not my dad. he'd never acknowledge that he could be the root of my anxiety. but living with him as a kid, i remember feeling anxious all the time. bc he was a drunk, and a mean one. he never hit us or anything. but he'd lose his temper and yell at us over the most minor of things. so i never felt 100% safe in my own home. and i can't ever bring that up, bc he'd refuse to accept any fucking responsibility.
i guess that's what therapy is for, but what does it matter? if i ever let out all the rage i've kept bottled up towards my family for my entire life, i feel like i would burn bridges, i would wreck relationships. and i don't want to be responsible for that. i've bit my tongue and folded into myself and just avoided any real meaningful connections with anyone outside my immediate family.
and where does the rage go, if you can't let it out? you hold it inside yourself and ignore it and push it back until you implode. or until it feels like this thing inside you with razor sharp claws and teeth that eats away at you, and it hurts.
i never thought i'd make it to 36.
i always believed that someday i would just...break. that i wouldn't be able to handle it anymore, and i'd just take enough pills that i would die. sleeping pills was the plan. it seemed so peaceful, like you could fall asleep and never wake up. i just wanted to do it a way that there was no pain.
jfc, idk what i'm doing. treating tumblr like a goddamn confessional. i'm going to bed. maybe tomorrow i'll be able to find my meds and can actually do...anything
#personal#tw suicidal ideation#mental illness#i feel like i'm drowning#like i am suffocating#everything feels so heavy#and i don't know how to be anything but this#my family tells me that i shouldn't keep things bottled up inside#as if it isn't the only way i've ever known how to survive#just smile and be polite. be a good girl. until you can escape#but i never did escape#i'm still stuck in the same small town#that hates people like me. the women who don't get married and have kids or go to church#the ones who keep to themselves#the ones who are different#i've always felt like an outsider here. even though it's where i was born
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My biggest fear when I was younger was forgiving those who have wronged me, because it meant I moved on.
#there was a longer version of this convo but i shortened it down <3#anyways- here's a brief concept I though of#it's a conversation between Ford's younger Uni self and Ford's older self (<- A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN)#how kind do you think the twins would be to their younger selves#we've seen them meet one another's younger counterparts- how do you think they would be with themselves?#the duality of someone who's had the time to work it out and learn to forgive VS. someone whose wound is still so raw and fresh#they can't help but keep poking at it until it gets infected#and the irrationality of holding onto your anger and keep feeding it even though it's doing nothing but hurt you#doesn't necessarily mean you have to forgive- but in the context of the twins- it really isn't doing any good#the fear of letting go meaning that you lost- and the other won#the pointlessness of it all- O! is it not poetic?#anywho <3#my art#gravity falls#grunkle ford#gravity falls ford#ford pines#stanford pines#this is literally done so lazy but i had to get the idea out of my head
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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Ghost Chirps AU Part 5
Part 1 & 2
Part 3
Part 4
***
While “Jason” (i.e. Alfred with an empty jet that Jason will meet up with later in order to “arrive” in Amity) hops a private jet, Red Hood is busy searching the Fenton home from top to bottom.
The local police move slowly, and by the time they arrive Jack and Maddie Fenton are both tied up and disarmed in their living room under heavy guard.
They hadn’t been restrained immediately, Batman talking him into giving them a chance to implicate themselves first.
Hood let him take the lead, but he didn’t even get a chance to ask a question, being cut off at the first indication he might want to talk about their “work.” Less than 60 seconds in, and the pair had outright confessed to violating the meta protection acts - and in tedious detail.
The questioning didn’t suffer any from them being tied up.
Far from the mulish silence or crocodile-tear laden denial of most criminals, they instead doubled down, insisting that nothing they had done was illegal, then jumping to the assumption that they were “possessed” - and boy had it been a nasty surprise when the whole house came alive trying to attack them with a quick verbal command.
Well, trying to attack Hood. And only him, for some reason.
One laser also freed the Fentons, who turned out to have even more weapons built into their suits.
Somehow.
Despite them being skintight.
That had been a pain, but Red Robin was able to hack the system using one of the couples’ own devices while Hood dodged - and kept the stray fire away from the others - leaving everyone else to recapture the pair. A blessedly simple task once they found out the lasers would splash harmlessly off of their armor (save for a gross film of green goop left wherever they grazed).
They take turns knocking each unconscious to change them in order to properly disarm them - Batman and Nightwing taking Jack first, followed by Orphan and Spoiler dealing with Maddie.
The only non-weapon laden clothing they own turns out to be pajamas.
This is around when the police show up, looking hesitant.
They, too, cite the “Anti-Ecto Acts.”
Oracle had debriefed them on the supposed Acts and “Ghost Investigation Ward” on their short drive over. Both were utterly bogus - the Acts had never even been proposed, let alone been approved as law, and the so-called “GIW” had no ties to the government.
The Fentons had been furious and denied the information intensely when told, but the cops mostly just looked relieved.
Apparently there’d been a lot of property damage by the GIW and Fentons both that had supposedly been dismissed under the Acts as “necessary in the pursuit of ecto-scum.”
For the Fentons, half of this damage was in the form of broken fire hydrants, cracked sidewalks, and totaled cars - they’d never been good drivers, before, the cops disclosed, but they’d become even more negligent since the ghosts began appearing, to the point they had to have a news segment warning when they would be on the road.
The lack of fatalities thus far had been nothing short of a miracle, they claimed.
“Of course there haven’t been any fatalities!” Mrs Fenton defends. “Our work is to protect people from those things, not make more! Officers, listen to reason-” Hood snorts disdainfully -”The Red Hood is clearly a ghost! All our systems targeted him the moment they came online - and they only target ecto-entities. He’s clearly taken these heroes under his sway - why else would they be working with a murderer!? You have to do something before he starts up his killing here in Amity!”
The officers look at him a bit hesitantly, but Batman is unmoved and gives the cover story Hood had outlined back in the alley.
Any concerns the locals have are quickly assuaged.
But for the whole explanation, Jason is trying not to shake even as he falls apart in place.
Their little website called them ghost-hunters, making it pretty clear what “ecto-entities” meant.
Their system supposedly only targets ecto-entities.
The system had only targeted him.
The system only targets ghosts.
Jason had died.
A lot of his family members had died, too, granted.
But Jason was the only one who seemed to come back wrong - anger sticking in his throat and never quite fading, an inclination towards violence even when he wasn’t angry well beyond what he’d ever felt before, and a sea of other emotions (that he would never acknowledge aloud) and triggers for those emotions that he always struggled to make heads or tails of.
He doesn’t have the meta gene. He knows that. He knew that.
He just assumed that the test missed it, because he knows he doesn’t know magic - the All Blades being the only exception - and he couldn’t think of another explanation at the time.
But he came back wrong.
And as he stands there, he wonders if he came back at all, mind on Solomon Grundy.
Wonders if he isn’t just some ghost, wandering around possessing his own corpse.
He jolts, as the thought strikes him: what about Danny?
If he’s a ghost and chirping is a ghost thing then what about his KID!?
Absently, he notes that Bruce has started interrogating the cops on what they meant by “ghost attacks.”
He ignores the discussion, hustling for the door in the kitchen down to the lab.
He slams and locks the door behind him - in Red Robin’s face - as he descends, making a b-line for the computer he’d seen when the Fentons had dragged them all down there to start bragging about their crimes.
The only thing Oracle could get out of the whole building was things that were openly available online; direct connections were impossible.
Opening up the screen, he gets to cracking.
Going for the surface level files first, it turns out he doesn’t even need so much as a password to find what he wants.
One of the video game sub-files has an unrelated file in it: ghost notes.
There are plenty of other notes, of course, but he’d only been skimming to start, looking for anything hidden.
The Fenton parents were too open to bother, of course, with plenty of more obvious files strewn haphazardly across the home screen, but it’s always better to check. That there is a hidden file means it was likely made by either Danny or Jazz.
And it’s a treasure trove.
Sub-files for rogues, allies, conditional allies, and “halfas” were what greeted him.
The last being the only term he didn’t recognize, he clicked.
6 files: Clones, Danny, Dani, Dan, Vlad, and Red Hood.
He clicks his own file.
What greets him is a picture of himself 4 days ago, looking just to the left of the lens in an alley that he distinctly remembers searching for the kid in.
Just below is text.
~~~
??? Name: Red Hood
Species: probably a halfa
Status: Nnnneutral? I think? I know, I know, heads in bags. But Valerie tries to kill me all the time! And we’re allies sometimes! Hood- uh- looked for me? Okay I guess I can’t really judge this yet but please read the first met section before you judge please you guys?
First met: Aug 17, 2005, was in Gotham to bother Batman, stopped to think a bit on some fire escape - decide on the first prank yknow - but then my ghost sense went off. It felt like a halfa so I thought “oh cool, must be Dani” so I chirped, but then Red Hood - who was chasing some guy down an alley at the time - froze and looked around. I dropped visibility and chirped again and yeah, he definitely heard it. Humans can’t so he’s definitely a halfa - no glow so he can’t be a full ghost and it felt nothing like an overshadowing.
Ended up following Hood around the rest of week - forgot to prank Batman, damn - and playing hide-and-seek with the chirps. It was really funny. But he very obviously doesn’t know he’s a halfa. But the guy is, like, scary levels of smart, so I’m sure he’ll figure it out on his own now that the chirp thing made it clear that something is up. Hopefully.
I figure I can go back in winter break - he should have it figured out and let his emotions process enough by then to at least hear me out when I explain the AEA and GIW and everything, then it won’t matter so much if he can, like, track me by voice or something if I talk since we’ll have MAD by then.
Despite his reputation, the people living in his haunt seem to love the guy. I can see why. On top of the whole smart he’s actually really nice to people he’s not shooting in the knees (which only even happened one time in the week I was there? It was actually pretty relaxing - most quiet week I’ve had since the portal opened THANK YOU TUCKER for hacking the portal hatch to be inoperable for a week).
Where was I? Oh yeah, he’s actually surprisingly nice to people? So like, I think he’ll probably hear me out if I go back and be polite? I hope. Hate to leave the guy in the dark and him end up on the GIWs dissection table for “lots and lots of painful experiments.”
Not that those guys could even catch the Box Ghost. But uh, Hood doesn’t seem to have powers either? Or if he does he doesn’t know about them I don’t think - he only used the chirp the whole time I was their - not even to cheat with moving around.
Seriously. That guy's acrobatics could make Freakshow’s contortionist green - er, red??? - with envy. Actually wait, aren’t contortionists and acrobats different things?
SAM NOTE: help^?
Powers:
?
~~~
Jason leans back, breathing deeply.
“Not a full ghost,” “not 'overshadowed'” - a term that sounds likke some kind of cousin to possesision - “definitely a halfa,” “humans can’t hear chirps.”
Halfa.
Half.
Ghost.
Half Ghost.
It should sound absurd - you can’t be half alive and half dead.
But Jason has seen the Lazarus pits, has met Solomon Grundy, has met aliens and bullshit magic and can pull magical swords out of his own damn chest.
Half alive. Half dead.
Hopefully not just a fancy way to say possessing his own corpse.
He doesn’t have time to deal with every file - he’ll “confiscate” one of their USBs with a copy of everything for himself before leaving the rest to Batman & co, of course, minus the halfa files (a small part of him wants to shove his condition in Bruce’s face and demand he kill the clown again even though he knows it’s a futile hope, but the rest - the same part that snapped and denied and refused to say he was a meta less that a day ago now - cannot stomach the thought of even more rejection. Of a Bruce that believes he’s a monster. Of a Bruce that mourns him even while he’s right there. Or at least, more than he already does.) - but while the files copy he take the time to look at Danny’s.
The image has two people, Danny Fenton on one side and a version of the kid in a black hazmat suit with white hair, tanned skin, and painfully familiar green eyes. And floating.
~~~
Human Name: Danny Fenton
Ghost Name: Danny Phantom
Species: Halfa (half-human, half ghost)
~~~
It’s the section after that that makes Jason’s breath catch in his throat.
~~~
Death: The Portal Accident
So like, there was no audio (thank GOD I do not want to hear myself screaming) so. Details: When the portal didn’t work when they plugged it in mom and dad left for fudge, Jazz went to try and talk them into a more realistic career choice than ghosts. Sam and Tucker came over and Sam dared me to climb in and check it out - it was broken anyway so no harm. Except it wasn’t broken, just that my parents put the on button inside. Which I caught myself on when I tripped on a wire.
Anyway, electrocution!
(T - Danny for the love of god be more serious, the cheerful tone is creepy)
(D - Hey! I’m the one who died! Shouldn’t I at least get to write my own epitaph)
(S - …Danny this is not an epitaph. You don’t even HAVE a grave)
(D - wow way to rub it in Sam)
(T - yeah Sam)
(S - ugh! Whatever, just stop with the chatting in official files)
(T - “official”)
(S - Tucker.)
(T - shutting up now)
Electrocution! I got zapped to death, but the ectoplasm from the portal was also opening up on top of me and a lot got bonded to me I guess (S - probably because of the electricity with how you ended up with some of Vortex' powers for a little while) at the same time said electricity was reviving me? - probably getting my heart beating again or something, I was a little busy screaming to pay attention (T - yeah okay we're going to Nasty Burger after this. And playing Doomed) - not that it would’ve mattered without the ghostification preventing me from melting me all the way to death.
Status: Me!
Powers:
Chirps! (ghost echolocation of some kind! humans can't hear em - halfas can, of course, in either form)
Form Change (really Sam? This barely counts)
Human form
Ghost form (no need to breathe)
Flight (last clock speed 210mph) (T - and climbing. Dang dude)
Invisibility (S - don’t forget shareable.) (Shareable. sigh)
Intangibility (Shareable)
Ecto Rays (eyes & hands) (T - and butt) (D - dude! I’m deleting that. Tucker why can't I delete it. TUCKER) (T - bow down in awe of my ksill) (S - ksill) (D - ksill) (T - yeah okay it’s permanent now) (D - aw man!)
Ghost Sense (S - why do we never test your range?) (D - no need? They always make themselves obvious or are being sneaky specifically to annoy me so *shrug*) (S - I still think we should test it)
Power Absorption (that time with Vortex’s weather powers)
Cryokinesis (Wayyyyy to much ice. NOT testing max output on that) (T - yeah frozen city was enough, let’s not cause an ice age. Tech needs some cool but too much is still bad and I just upgraded Patricia)
Ghostly Wail (cone of destruction, very exhausting - always at max output. Not to be used)
GHOST FORM ONLY (but really just never)
Cartoon Body (D - what???) (S - Freakshow literally turned you into a puddle and you just turned back and were fine. I don’t know what else to call that) (D - okay fair. but:)
GHOST FORM ONLY
Physical Enhancement (better strength, speed, stamina, durability, reflexes, balance, etc much better than human) (T - why does this look like dnd knockoff stats haha)
GHOST FORM ONLY (S - obviously mr last place in PE)
Resistances (pretty solid on the overshadowing, avoided being taken in by Ember until targeted, didn’t get turned to stone during the Medusa thing) (S - which was pure luck! Be careful!)
Ecto Electricity (ghost stinger, but I really don’t think this counts Sam. I mean I just. Make my ecto zappy. But it’s still just ecto) (S - so is your ICE and you don’t just call that "just cold ecto") (D - fine, but it feels overly specific) (S - maybe writing it all down will make you stop. Forgetting. POWERS!) (D - come on Sam that was a lucky hit! I was distracted! And it turned out fine!) (S - Fenton…) (D - oop okay doing fire now)
Ecto Fire (made Dash’s shoes melty that one time by make the ecto hot) (T - really needs more testing)
Tech possession (chasing Technus into computers, not very tested)
Ghost form only, i guess?
Overshadowing (control people, copy their voice, invade dreams - the control one erases the person’s memory so they don’t know they were overshadowed just lost time. I hate Walker. SO much) (T - rip Danny’s reputation, you’ll be missed)
Probably ghost form only
Duplication (T - That’s optimistic) (D - I’M WORKING ON IT OKAY!?) (S - pretty sure it just falls under cartoon body until you can actually separate) (D - :( betrayal)
Probably ghost form only
More? (D - ugh I hope not) (T - hey don’t say that, maybe you’ll get a power to make the JL give a crap about Amity) (D - honestly I’m getting pretty close to letting Boxy loose in Gotham) (S - Danny, don’t stoop to their level!) (D - it's only box ghost!) (T - I mean he has a point)
~~~
Jason changes his mind, seeing the commentary, and deletes the entire hidden file from the computer as soon as his copy is made. He can go over everything and bring any important info to Bruce separately, the bat’s can just chew on the parents’ files for now.
Once the original files are thoroughly and irretrievably removed he pockets his shiny new USB, makes a second one with all the official files, and heads back up and out - carelessly brushing past a thoroughly irate Red Robin with a pair of firemen and broken jaws of life. And not a scratch on the door; impressive - just in time to get Oracle’s text that he’s got 2 hours and 16 minutes to be at the location on his HUD so he can “arrive” to Amity.
And a fresh set of civilian clothes will be waiting in the plane, Alfred as reliable as ever.
“Files,” he says, tossing the safe USB to Batman and interrupting his interrogation of the police officer.
He catches it effortlessly of course, but the officer stops paying attention to him to jolt at Hood’s reappearance - even outside of Gotham his reputation is fierce.
“I sent a copy to myself. I’ll review them and give you an overview, but other than that consider this the end of my involvement in this little shitshow,” he says, continuing smoothly to the door. “I’m heading back to Gotham.”
Now, he has a little over two hours before Jason Todd needs to arrive in Amity Park. He only needs to lay hands on a laptop that he can isolate from Babs’ influence and he should be able to review the Halfa files in full before he "lands" - after he figures out just why the kid has a grudge against the JL.
#The defenses only attacked jason because the others are liminal#But not quite liminal enough for the Fenton House to pick up on#He’s the only one who died and had it really *stick* thus why he’s the only halfa#Sure the others died but they were all revived fully#Death left a stain#Not a chain#Jason has one foot in the grave#The others bat’s just have some graveyard dirt smudged on their pants cuffs#I can keep going with the metaphors#lol#Anyway#Their contamination is. Like. not worse than the average person living on the opposite side of the city as the Fentons#(which is a lot compared to everyone else in the whole world#but not much in terms of “will the house shoot me”#Fenton ghost detecting devices aren’t that precise yet)#The “files” aren’t super professional because like. They’re 14.#It’s organized sure but it’s not gonna be scientific paper levels (& they’d feel uncomfy making it too scientific sounding)#There’s powers missing on purpose (not thinking of thing as a power. All 3 forgot about it. Etc)#So why did the JL ignore Amity you ask?#Info blackout#One does not simply ignore the Meta Protection Acts and pretend to be a gov’t agency without taking precautions#Everything out of Amity Park is sanitized as hell. (ha#and doesn’t that just fit the GIW clean-obsession)#“But Mutable!” I hear you cry “What about Undergrowth & Vortex!”#I don’t remember Undergrowth’s radius of effect but I’m saying my AU he was Amity-only and the GIW set up a blockade to intimidate witnesse#Same deal with Pariah town-knapping the place (GIW base was JUST out of the town-knapping radius. Lucky them)#As for Vortex#the storms themselves made it impossible to track anything through normal means#(ie no cams caught Sam & Tucker’s jet taunting Vortex except some people with cells on the street. But wind killed all the audio)#So as far as the world is concerned there was a freak storm and it went away
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Prompt 158
Klarion is on a mission. A very important mission of the utmost importance!
He, as the oldest of the family (at least sibling-wise) has been given the sacred task of bringing his baby siblings to find their own familiars! And nothing is going to stop him from seeing this task through! He’s not going to get distracted playing with the Justice League’s Baby Team, nor is he going to try and kick Stupid-Helmet-Head-The-Despised.
He’s going to help Jordan and Ellie find their own familiars, and Phantom-Dad will be so proud of him! Tucker-Dad will be proud too, and his Moms would as well! He’s going to absolutely rock this older-sibling thing!
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Eternal Quartet#They’re married & their timeline is older than DCs#The 4 saw small baby Chaos Lord and went “Is Anyone going to adopt that”#And didn’t wait for an answer#Dan & Ellie are delighted in having a sibling who is just as chaotic as them#Normally they’d be older than Klarion but Halfas can’t reform from their core into adult forms#They have to fully regrow their bodies from scratch so they emerge as babies again#Halfas are pretty much the Realms versions of phoenixes lmao#Klarion: I have never had parents before and I’m going to make them so proud :)#He’s bringing his new little siblings to so many zoos & animal shelters & YJ keeps *Just* missing them#Hilarious enough it’s either Damian or Billy or both who run into the trio#Either one would join in his mission as chaotic gremlins themselves
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anyways here’s a reminder that i love my non-sharing self shippers so much!! don’t let anybody tell you that you’re irrational or unreasonable or dramatic for being uncomfortable sharing your f/o!! your f/o loves you so so much and wouldn’t want it any other way!! 💕
#and if that one blog finds this hi hello stop going after people who are just living their lives and having fun instead of being negative#and hateful thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu#so what if people want to make their space/blog safe for themselves its clear you just have it out for somebody and wanna keep it a secret 😭#anyways I LOVE MY NON SHARING BUDDIES SO MUCH HOORAH!!!!!#self ship#self ship community#f/o community#self shipping
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i <3 planners/journals/scrapbooks
#you can do whatever you want forever <3#really interesting to me discussing these with my friend who's an art professor bc i never considered them art and she was like.#u could exhibit these. and i was like woag.#idk if i think that hahaha but i DO really like them and keeping a planner is truly pillar of my life and has been daily since 2017 <3#very proud of taking the leap and designing these ones and having them made! first time i've ever made a 'product' and i would not change#anything about them which is preddy neat. really thought through the design! anyway i have sung my own praises now :P#also if you're reading this kz your patreon notes are a staple of my inside covers :P#many friends may see themselves in these pages i love to stick in a friend item <3
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[Image description: a digital drawing of sklonda and pok gukgak from fantasy high, two goblins with shoulder length straight hair and short curly hair, respectively. they're touching foreheads and embracing, both of sklonda's hands in pok's hair, while one of pok's hands is moving sklonda's bangs off her foreheads and the other is clutching at her waist. we only see sklonda's face and the look of silent grief on it. in the background on pok's half is a stylized dragon's mouth with teeth digging into his shoulder, and on sklonda's side are sheets of paper. over the background on the left is text that reads, it's okay, and then on the right side in brackets it says, (it'll be ok). End image description]
#sklonda gukgak#pok gukgak#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#eyestrain tw#just in case#sklonpok#fhsy#a huge thank u to other artists on my dash who also indulge in making art that is truly for all of 5 people#and most of all for themselves#it reminds me i can just draw whatever i want and my own enjoyment is merit enough#mwah mwah#also hi. i don't know what to caption this so it'll stay captionless#there was a version of this drawing where sklonda was crying but this 'silent grief' is just. more potent#that kind of like. sadness but also acceptance#i miss you but i wont forever clutch onto you. ugh#i like the little space between them because. is one of them pulling away? both? we need to let go for now (i will keep holding on)#(how can i ever fully let go. do i have to?)#its 2 am and i need to sleep but man. grief is a Beast
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So @somerandomdudelmao made a version of their sona in a dystopia (inspired by @tapakah0 doing the same to theirs) and the person in this ask named the robot C.A.S.5 and I thought, ‘well then there’s at least four other C.A.S. units out and about in the world’ leading to this being the end result! It was a lot of fun to come up with the different customizations each C.A.S. unit has.
also, the design for C.A.S.4 (Cash) was partially inspired by @mobiitez post.
Doodles:
#somerandomdudelmao#tapakah0#my art#Dystopia au#Mob’s character design session#cass fanart tag#i think#I’m probably not going to make more C.A.S. bots but just know C.A.S.7 or Cast is bird based (not sure which bird yet) and blue for my sis#small detail but on Cass there’s broken wires on the back of their head so I decided that they used to connect to the body#Cash hates Castle while Castle is indifferent unless Cash tries to steal from her#Case is vibing with the farm life and making up little tunes#Cazz is a cross between the crazy old cat lady and a backwoods cryptid - they will stare at you from the shadowed depths of the scrap yard#while making commentary to the parts they keep for themselves and of those parts Benji is the favorite#Battery packs for C.A.S. units attach to the things that stick out their backs for the wires - except Cazz who made some internal modificat#No one knows exactly how since the mods are a chaotic hodgepodge of patchwork but they somehow work#Had a lot of fun watching others make stuff for the impromptu dystopia au the vibes of the world were awesome#Technically fanart#so yeah#enjoy!
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OC doodle with the 141 - tw: alcohol, small mention of death
Honest Feelings
#had some thoughts#the one with Gaz is basically bcuz Gaz was the first to know who Raven is- or basically his Captain seeing someone#despite how she was supposed to kill Price - Gaz didn't question Price's decision to rescue her from a fatal injury#Gaz has treated her with nothing but respect bcuz if Price cares then he'll care too#uhmm the one with Soap is basically after mw3 thingy I guess#Raven has seen how much Price changed after that incident#has seen the man crumbled while holding Soap's dog tag#another responsibilities that's all too heavy on Price's shoulder#uh for Ghost its just basically mutual disdain due to difference in careers#they both know something the others doesnt and they intend to keep it that way#it's the discomfort of realising someone out there who's seen the same terror as you and taking different approaches in life#this discomfort and disagreement is what ticked both Ghost and Raven off- that's why they're always bickering#in a way they see a bit of themselves in each other and it is quite unnerving to them#but really they're not too far off - and they /know/ - but that is something the both of them are not ready to admit yet#two people bleeding from different knives who refused to acknowledge that blood flowing out are the same angry burning red - or something#idk im not making sense UHM ANYWAYS#i yapped too much UHHH silly doodles will resume after this i promise XD#anyways#gummmyart#doodle#think i'll hit the tags limit here so just gonna put a few#PriceRaven#[oc] Raven
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the foxes hunt the hounds
#nobody#crime city#original character#oc#mhai art#this is crime city's they/them weapons dealer#who goes by the name nobody#they like cake#but that's pretty much all they'll say about themselves#in that way people know less about them than even winter#but they tend to keep to themselves anyway#so it's not as unsettling lol#OH also no one knows what their voice sounds like#as they communicate only through sign language
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What can I say? They're my favorite.
#twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg clementine#twdg louis#sometimes they creep back into my mind and i'm like 'ah yes' like a crow admiring a pretty stone they found years ago and kept#also thank you pi for the screenshots. i used to have a whole folder full of them but that was when i was doing themed nights#the source for these is me i just have a random document full of dynamics and ship things i enjoy because.....i dunno i like keeping track#and so many of them apply to clouis but there's also an overlap of with clouis and rose/alistair [my warden from origins and alistair] like#alistair's romance route is like an evolved matured and extended version of clouis sksksks gee i wonder if i have a type#look you present me with a character who deflects with humor and isn't taken seriously by the rest of the group and the longer you know the#the more you realize how high they've built a wall around themselves and how *unwell* they really are and how they're not as sunshine#as they present themselves and also they avoid leadership and responsibility until they grow closer with someone who pushes them#and they end stronger and more balanced as a person while finding the affection they've craved#and also there's the daddy issues#present me with that character as a romantic option and i'm in no questions asked okay i don't want the mean broody one that's meh to me#i want the one that has every reason to be broody but chooses not to be because they have a completely different defense mechanism#and a warped sense of themselves and self-esteem issues they leave unaddressed until forced to face them#i'm just saying i'm aware that i have a type i'm always going to gravitate toward clouis nearly checks all the boxes#also the lack of clouis these days? my crops are thirsty and i have too many ongoing projects to do anything about it other than this sksks#so until i make time to finish my long ass louis/clouis analysis this is the best i can provide for now
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ORV and Link Click trios outfit swap!
[ID: Digital drawing of Link Click trio and ORV trio with swapped outfits: Qiao Ling and Han Sooyoung, Lu Guang and Kim Dokja, and Cheng Xiaoshi and Yoo Joonghyuk. Both backgrounds are purple to orange-yellow sunset sky with stars and clouds, and a glare effect across the bottom left corner.]
#link click#shiguang dailiren#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#crossover#outfit swap#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#qiao ling#han sooyoung#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#rowo#the ones who keep self sacrificing themselves for their beloved other-half-of-the-shared-braincell and their managers
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Let me make myself perfectly clear. If you are a fan of Aang. If you like Kataang. If you like Zutara, but still love Aang. I have no beef with you. I don't believe in attacking people personally because they have a different opinion on fictional characters than I do. I will continue to sprinkle my Aang salt liberally on my own blog, and tag it so you can avoid me. That is the extent of my responsibility to your fandom experience. You are welcome to block me. No hard feelings. Tumblr doesn't let us know who blocks us, so I wouldn't know anyway. What I won't put up with is people coming to me whining about my opinions, or being rude in my tags. If you have a problem with me, I want you to pause and do 3 things for me.
Stop for a minute. Step away from your computer, get some water and ask yourself, "Is she talking about me when she talks about how much she hates this fictional character I like?" The answer will invariably be no. I'm talking about this fictional character I hate. I'm not thinking about you at all. I don't even know your name (screenname or given name).
Take a deep breath and consider, "Is her opinion on this fictional character effecting my ability to enjoy myself in this fandom?" If the answer to this is yes, then the simple solution is to block me. The more complicated problem to tackle is why I, a person I guarantee you've never met in person, and who isn't thinking about you, and who tags her salt appropriately has so much power to affect your enjoyment of a fandom you enjoy.
Sit down and reflect. We are discussing fiction here. It's the same type of media analysis we did in middle and high school lit classes, without taking it personally. If you are at the point where you can't simply agree to disagree with a take you don't like, or block a person whose posts make you unhappy, it might be time to consider a new hobby. If you need to be in conflict with someone to make your experience enjoyable, may I suggest boxing?
#atla#zutara#this isn't about ALL aang fans#the only reason i only seem to encounter obnoxious aang fans is because they keep forcing themselves on my notice#the chill ones keep to themselves#the other ones...well you know who you are
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love how s3 Jamie is like on a mission to fix Colin’s self-esteem. “smart choice for a smart boy” the hugs. being one of the first members of the team to reassure Colin they love him after he came out. grabbing him to tell him what a great job he did at multiple points in the season. long way from “jaundiced worm”
#s3 jamie who is determined to keep the whole team optimistic and united overheard i am a strong and capable man ONE TIME and was like#fuck yes you are. and in case you forgot it i"m going to make sure I reassure you#i think at this point if Jamie heard any of his teammates say a negative thing about themselves he would give them a whole speech about how#great they are#jamie tartt#colin hughes#ted lasso#sidenote I am CONVINCED jamie thought jaundiced meant something else#i just know he thought that was an insult not like something relating to people's health lol#richmond himbos
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thinking about kab and the thing about her i think is she knows just enough to keep herself safe Generally but not enough to really predict what would happen should something more... complicated??? unforeseen??? idk whats the right word to use but something not covered by someones reputation and/or vids happen, believe it or not this also affects her view of clownpierce (we'll get to that)
for example, mapicc has a reputation for being an violent, angry, & impulsive guy and nothing else which makes sense but is incredibly surface level and something that only really works if you dont have a lot of experience working with him
another is reddoons, his betrayal after the base incident while shocking is not unforeseen but his reputation as being a guy whos seen as being a reasonable person whos fairly loyal to his team made it seem like something he wouldnt do even tho it absolutely is
regarding how it affects her view of clown, since he isnt perfectly aligned with his reputation she instead pivots in the complete opposite direction and forgiving basically every crime he does even tho hes something much more mild and complicated than either his reputation or her view of him will ever be (think madonna-whore complex which is especially obvious when it comes to kabs vs woogies view of him)
another side effect of this Just Enough amount of knowledge aside from being blinded by her own expectations is that it frustrates ppl who think shes oversimplificating things (like me and seemingly several other tumblr users as well) especially when she claims that shes objectively correct and the smartest in the room at any given moment
how this roughness in her analysis affects her in the server still has yet to be fully seen but we do still have at least a couple months until the end but 'til then shes just gonna keep stumbling as more and more complicated situations pop up as is typical in lifesteal to happen and eventually shes gonna have to learn to adapt or else she'll be suffering the consequences one way or another
#mine.txt#analysis#ig. this is very rough tho and is more just thoughts than anything#but i wanted a tag so i can get back to this later to see how right or wrong i am#another thing that affects this is the cc/c divide which is something she likes to take control of#one of the ways it manifests is that she likes to go in and out of it frequently which can be incredibly distracting#esp if youre someone like me who wants the lsers to just. be themselves and get immersed in whats happening around them#and it doesnt help that her and her character can have Very different feelings on a situation#basically the cc/c divide or at least how kab likes to use it affects the way she acts because shes got an idea in her head already#of what to think of the other ppl in the server which makes her inflexible when unexpected things come up#as opposed to when shes just being herself reacting to things#which is unfortunate but i think reflects on how outsiders vs insiders view lifesteal#the reality vs expectations of the audience are so incredibly different esp if you only watch the vids#so much so that while watching kabs vid my initial reaction was that she wasnt as big a ls fan as i originally thought#then realized no this seems like the exact sort of thing id expect from someone whos only seen the vids; particularly of the pvpers#(specified pvpers cause only watching the pvpers vs other kinds of players on the server are Very different experiences)#tho the thing about kab is she Does have insider knowledge!#.... mainly from ppl who dont log on a lot (ash and clown and maybe squiddo)#so naturally thats gonna give her a biased view of how the server works one way or another#the exception to this would be zam telling her about eclipse federation but i think either she doesnt know or severely underestimated#just how much lying; manipulation; keeping secrets; and yap sessions built on incompatible motives and morals happened#that made s4 the way it is not only in game but outside of it as well#''we're at our best when we hate each other irl'' - reddoons according to zam
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