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yamitheyin · 2 years

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i went to a "party" today and because a group of us were just waiting for the rest of them to finish the partying i put on Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva. unfortunately, we didn't find where the remote was so we could turn up the volume, so most of the movie was in silence except for the part that played 'Song of the Sun' and 'Eternal Diva', in which i just played the ost from my phone.

things that happened during the viewing session:

child who was there decided professor layton always knew the answer to everything from the intro and was deus ex machina

same child calling janice during the play "queen elizabeth"

same child started calling the game for eternal life squid game

me: "why do they say 'puzzle 001' as if the puzzles in this movie ever go above the single digits?" (yes, in game it like that. but also the english dub is like "puzzle zero zero one" instead of just puzzle one)

one person looked at the situation with whistler saying "i named my newly adopted child after the one that just died" and just went 🤨

people just being in pure shock as grosky survived sharks and surviving the boat exploding

also they were also calling grosky a gigachad

"man, these kids should be having trauma from seeing the boat explode. they didn't see the submarines, they probably think people died."

(i didn't want to say they've been through worse)

"btw, luke can speak to animals. this literally only comes up here when he tries to speak to the wolves and the wolves don't listen to him" "i'm fucking sorry, he can speak to animals???"

i went "watch this shit" as layton preceded to build the flying machine, because wtf layton

"wow his hat is glued on"

i didn't really give much context to descole, and we couldn't hear his voice, so nobody really says much about him for the rest of the movie and i didn't want to reveal any other prequel trilogy spoilers :(

when grosky was found, him being called a gigachad intensified

and then laughter as grosky lost his underwear

no one guessed what was going on with nina when layton confronted her about being melina

one person said emmy reminded him of that one guy from curious george??? anyways, the child called her the hulk after seeing her destroy several of descole's henchmen

"oh no! luke has the memory machine on him! wait huh?"

me going "here it comes, here it comes-" as layton prepared to the point

"oh, this guy has kidnapped several young girls to do this!?"

"why did no one stop descole!??"

"man, these wolves are so thin, they could snap them in half"

"gundam!?" at the giant robot

i meant to talk about it during the watch session and forgot, but the fact that descole is controlling the robot using the detragon??? my man built a organ that sounds like an orchestra, can store memories of a person, and controls a full on mecha???

i showed one person this one layton poll and he guessed "he has several kids"

i told him which one was true and he was like "oh i kinda expected that one to be true considering the others", afksjd;clksmklc

i also asked which one is most surprising to him as being true afterwards, and he said "layton didnt actually give a shit about puzzles until he saw his friend die", which is fair

"man, janice has crazy grip strength"

"descole pulled that sword out of his pants... wait-"

me: "Sword fight time, lets go!!!"

two people said the sword fight between layton and descole was extremely well animated (true)

"why is layton playing the songs??? isn't that accomplishing descole's goal??? and why isn't descole stabbing him???"

*descole yeets a sword at him* "oh, now descole tries to continue the fight"

"c'mon, layton grab the sword!" *doesn't grab the sword in time*

not a single person says anything about descole falling off and him being not apprehended or found after the fact :'(

*detragigant falling into the sea* "pollution!"

"janice is gonna wake up and be so confused" "she was communicating with melina, they literally just showed that-"

one person ended up saying to the kid, who was saying a lot of random stuff during the movie, "shut up, i am actually invested", which lks;vmknzopdinpa??? i just gave extremely generalized descriptions of layton, luke, janice, and emmy, so the movie did the rest

i specifically made sure to make them watch the credits to show grosky finding his underwear in the credit stills, which was so worth it for their reaction

they did also say that all the other people in the prison would be terrified of having whistler in the same cell as them

anyways, i recommend watching this movie with sound on, but also two people actively were watching the movie despite knowing only the basic information i gave to them on the characters and nothing on the video game series despite that. so yeah, movie good.

#professor layton #professor layton eternal diva #eternal diva #yami rambling

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queenlilith43 · 4 years

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Alrighty so here is my stupid, stupid theory about the Wicked Powers and the Eldest Curses.

I'm adding a keep reading option because everyone will thank me for this later. And it contains serious Eldest Curses and Last Hours spoilers. (YES. I will drag Chain of Iron into here because I want to.)

So I want to talk about what I think the antagonists in the Wicked Powers and what will happen because of it. And how the antagonists will show up.

So who do I think the antagonists are? Whelp, here's the list:

Thule people

Faerie court drama

The Cohort

Lucifer + other permanent threats

I'm going to explain the antagonists and what I think will happen. I will explain how much of a problem I think they will be.

Thule

Well, Janus is going to be in there. He had established himself as a villian from Ghosts of the Shadow Market. He's what Jace could have been if he had stayed under Sebastian's power. That is to say, a very evil Jace.

Janus had been tasked by the Seelie Queen at the end of Queen of Air and Darkness to find actual Jace Herondale. Do we want Jace kidnapped? NO. Will this cause problems? YES.

Thule as a world is a problem. Part of it leaked into our world in QOAAD, causing the warlocks to start to turn into demons. (Including a very cute purple poodle that was Malcolm Fade.)

Shadowhunters can't use their weapons and runes in this world. I wonder if it was able to influence the Shadowhunters in this world enough to stop that.

And Sebastian is still alive in Thule. We know how much of a problem he is. If he ends up in our world . . . We should be worried.

I think Thule can be a problem. It might be a huge problem. It all depends on how easily the main characters can deal with Janus.

I personally want then to deal with Janus and Thule by just yeeting him into a Portal. I can imagine Kit doing that and then dusting off his hands.

If someone can get rid of Thule easily, things will be fine. If Thule isn't dealt with early on . . . Everyone is screwed.

Faeries

We have met the First Heir of the courts. Also known as Kit Herondale. We also have the Seelie Queen, who is very evil, ruling over the Seelie Court. Along with that, Kieran is ruling the Unseelie Court.

And as we know, the Seelie Queen made Janus try and find Jace. So she ties into the Thule plot.

I feel like there is going to be some major faerie drama. Kit is going to have to fight to unite the courts, whether he wants to or not. It is his destiny to do this.

The faeries wouldn't accept Kit as their king, because he's mainly a Shadowhunter. (As we know, Shadowhunter blood breeds true.) I am hoping Kieran emerges as the king of the new courts and is able to have a good life with Cristina and Mark.

Kit is going to have face his faerie side and the powers that come with it. I'm going to love seeing his character develop through all this.

The faerie court drama is going to be in there, and part of Kit's character arc. It is needed, and if Kit and Kieran get rid of the Seelie Queen fast we might not even have to THINK about dealing with Thule.

However, this plot will need at least two books to resolve itself. That means Thule and the faeries will be involved. I'm going to touch on Thule at the very end again.

The Cohort

Ugh, I hate these guys. Especially Zara, who is the one person everyone in the fandom wants dead.

Considering what the Cohort represents and everything that had happened, they are going to reach new heights of evil. That was already in the playing cards, but I just KNOW they'll be worse than we thought they were going to be.

And the Cohort is trying to hurt the Downworlders. Alec is over there, trying to help them, but the Cohort loathes him for that.

I really don't know how important they will be. But when I talk about what I believe a main plot will be, and how Shadowhunter-Downworlder relations factor into it.

Lucifer

This one is where the Eldest Curses ties into the Wicked Powers. And this is what I think is going to be the main antagonist after a certain point.

Before you question me on this, hear me out.

The Shadowhunters have always known they will face an end to the world. It's been an idea since the very first book, City of Bones.

Jace talked about how there were more demons coming in every year, and less Shadowhunters to fight them. This was in the FIRST BOOK. And of course we had bigger fish to fry, but it's an idea that stuck with me.

I feel like even in the Infernal Devices series everyone knew there would be a demon threat so great the world could end. It wasn't as obvious, because Mortmain wasn't an antagonist that posed a large problem. His clockwork monsters were easy to defeat, and it was in Britain, which is technically an island. So they couldn't go they far unless they hopped on a boat and sailed around the world. Along with Mortmain just being a mundane.

In the Last Hours, the idea of a demon threat that could end the world is even more real. In Chain of Gold, we had to deal with demons that attacked in broad daylight, something that had never happened before.

And there was Belial, who might be planning something that messes with their weapons. (Although he won't get far. He's a terrible, even laughable villian who is being set up like this for future reasons.)

Now we have Lilith, who is a danger to this world. With Cordelia as a paladin, Lilith could have enough power to mess with the world. It's more real, but with this being a prequel, we know things will be fine.

Back to the main series, the Mortal Instruments. In the latter half of the series, Lilith shows up, and mentions her past. And this includes Sammael.

Sammael is a Prince of Hell. He poses a threat to the world. He is the one who weakened the wards in the first place with Lilith to let the demons in.

Thankfully, Simon turns Lilith into salt. We don't have to deal with her, but the threat and the demons she knows remind us how fragile this world is.

After Lilith, we have Sebastian. His demons blood makes him unstable, and he created this army of Endarkened Shadowhunters. But was his existence a threat to the fabric of the universe itself? Not really.

It could think our world, but not in the way an actual demon could. He is powerful, but Sebastian loves in pain. The demon blood in his veins weighs him down, and he has weaknesses. Clary defeated him once, and she can deal with Thule Sebastian later.

The Dark Artifices introduced the concept of the world ending. Not with Malcolm, but with Thule. Thule was a real Hell dimension, a place where the demons have taken over. A ruined world, and one where Sebastian rules over the land with an iron fist.

The only way Sebastian was able to rule over Thule was because Lilith showed up at just the right time. And strangely enough, it was shortly after she was lost from our world. Coincidence? Well, it could be, but knowing these books, it probably isn't.

In the Eldest Curses, this idea was introduced just a little on the first book. Asmodeus was there. It was a flash of it, but it seemed like the demon threat was mentioned.

The second book mentioned that idea again, with Sammael showing up. That's right. Sammael, the Once and Future Devourer of Worlds.

He really seemed to show the threat of demons. The way that no matter how hard the Shadowhunters would fight, the demons would win in the end. It said in that book Sammael would destroy the worlds in the end, no matter what.

And oh my god the epilogue. He had all the Princes of Hell in a room. And now, they are going to summon Lucifer.

Why do I think Lucifer will be outside the Eldest Curses? Because he is important.

In the folklore (my inner Swiftie is showing) Lucifer is the angel who started the rebellion in Heaven. He looked into the face of God, and turned away into the darkness. He is a force to be reckoned with.

But what happened to him? We haven't even heard of him in the Shadowhunters universe until Chain of Gold, where he was confirmed as a Prince of Hell. At first, I thought Sammael was Lucifer, because that is one of his names.

But they're two different demons. And one is more powerful.

Because Lucifer hasn't even been mentioned before, I think his sudden existence is going to be in the Wicked Powers, along with the rest of the Princes of Hell.

Belial is being set up as this whiny, sexist demon to make the other Prince of Hell so much WORSE.

The Wicked Powers is supposed to be a threat that the Shadowhunters have never faced before. And the LITERAL DEVIL? Yeah, they've never dealt with a force like him before.

But the only way the Shadowhunters can defeat the demons once and for all is by teaming up with the Downworlders. It's been hinted at. When the Shadowhunters and Downworlders work together, they are able to fight the demons off.

This is where Clary's Alliance rune comes in. Her rune, binding the Downworlders and the remaining Shadowhunters together, and they will fight.

The Cohort is going to hate this. But it's the only way to deal with Thule (which I'm going to talk about in another post) and Lucifer is with the Downworlders.

And Magnus if ping to be important. Every time Magnus is there, the Shadowhunters win.

But one my other theories is that Magnus dies. Because this is the end, and Magnus is in every single book. So for him to die, it would mark the very end.

So I guess Magnus would fight bravely in the battle and then die, to make an end to these books.

Any thoughts on this? Please reblog!

#the last hours #the wicked powers #tsc #chain of iron #the eldest curses #its crackpot time now #chain of iron spoilers #the shadowhuter chronicles #tlh #tec #magnus bane #alec lightwood bane #alec lightwood #magnus lightwood bane #clary fairchild #kit herondale #kieran kingson

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terramythos · 3 years

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TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 15 of 26

Title: Tehanu (Earthsea Cycle #4) (1990)

Author: Ursula K. Le Guin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Fiction, Third-Person, Female Protagonist

Rating: 8/10

Date Began: 6/24/2021

Date Finished: 6/30/2021

Decades after The Tombs of Atuan, Tenar decided to settle down and live an ordinary life on the shepherding Isle of Gont. Now a farmer’s widow, she adopts a disfigured and horrifically abused child, who she names Therru. When a giant dragon deposits a grief-stricken Ged at her doorstep, Tenar finds herself in a strange situation as she cares for her old friend and her adopted daughter. But threats from Therru’s past and a malevolent force on the island soon threaten Tenar’s small family.

Despair speaks evenly, in a quiet voice.

Content warnings and spoilers below the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Violence and death. Mentioned murder. Severe child abuse. Descriptions of traumatic injury and disfigurement. Mentions of r*pe, including of children. Trauma, sexism, and ableism are explored in depth.

Tehanu is a much different book than the trilogy that precedes it. Perhaps this is unsurprising, considering the 17-year gap between this book and The Farthest Shore. I’d describe the Earthsea series as “grounded fantasy”. While all of them take place in a magical world, the thesis of each book is universal; the fantasy always comes second. Tehanu takes this idea to an extreme. The story is about everyday life as a common woman in the Earthsea world, with fantasy barely factoring in. The pacing is intentionally slow and introspective, which is something I normally don’t like, but Le Guin is a consistent exception.

Key characters from the previous books make an appearance. Obviously Tenar is the biggest return, absent since The Tombs of Atuan. The Tenar in this book is older and much more mature, having decided to live a simple life in spite of her adventures and accomplishments. Ged returns, but he’s a shell of his former self, as he mourns the loss of his magic and the man he used to be. Even King Lebannen (formerly Arren, the main character of The Farthest Shore) makes a brief appearance, and is quite a palate cleanser after the horrible men throughout the rest of the book.

Probably my favorite aspect of the novel is the fact that these characters stand well on their own without magic to prop them up. Tenar explored the terrifying freedom she won in The Tombs of Atuan; got married, settled down, had kids — but still finds herself at a loss on what to do with her life after her husband dies. Ged is in a similar boat; he’s gone from an almost mythic character to an ordinary man, and like Tenar finds himself at a crossroads in life. Other characters embody this idea of transformation and uncertainty; Therru’s escaped her abusers and now has a loving mother, but what does the future hold for someone with her appearance? Stuff like that.

The idea of metamorphosis and new beginnings is well-trodden. But what makes Tehanu interesting is Le Guin primarily examines this with the middle-aged characters. Tenar and Ged are legendary figures in the world of Earthsea, but life has taken them to an uncertain future. The thrust of the novel lies in finding a purpose and becoming someone new. I also like that Tenar/Ged is endgame; I got Vibes from The Tombs of Atuan, but neither character was in a position where it would work. Seeing them form a romantic relationship much later in life is touching and cute. But it’s not the reason that either of them grow as people; finding one’s purpose is something one has to do on their own. Their relationship only develops once both parties have done so.

My main complaint about A Wizard of Earthsea, the first book, is the sexism inherent in the setting, which is never examined below the surface level. Perhaps Le Guin’s outlook changed, or perhaps the publishing environment did, because often Tehanu reads like a response to this criticism. The central theme of the book is misogyny, the patriarchy, and its debilitating effects on women. Le Guin examines everything from micro-aggressions (“common wisdom” that happens to paint women as inferior) to domestic issues (“women’s work” and how much that actually is) to outright sexual assault (both in threats and actual acts; it is heavily implied this is part of the abuse Therru endured). She even goes into how powerful women are only considered as such because a man gave them that power.

While I appreciate the fact she addresses these issues in such a frank, blatant way, at times reading Tehanu felt like reading a basic feminism primer. These subjects are all things I’m familiar with, and I feel like anyone who’s studied key feminist ideas would be aware of them also. Maybe 1990 was different? Le Guin doesn’t add any insights to the bleak reality of patriarchy and sexism, which is a little disappointing compared to previous books. That being said, this book is aimed at young adults despite its dark subject matter. Tehanu could be the first exposure to these ideas that many children receive; looking at it that way, it makes sense that the analysis comes off as basic.

I also found the book’s examination of gender to be very cishet-normative. That’s definitely not surprising, considering the book was published in 1990, but to a 2021 reader this hasn’t aged super well. There’s a lot of discussion about the relationships and differences between men and women--whether there are any or not, how magic differs between them, the ability to bear children, and so on. There’s a weird sexual component to this, like how wizards (who are exclusively men) have to remain celibate in order to… keep being wizards? But women who are witches don’t have to do that, and that’s an advantage women have? (There’s mentions of male witches too, iirc, but it’s not expanded upon— do they have to remain celibate? Who knows.). I found this whole bit pretty odd and unnecessary, although I realize a lot of my perspective on the matter comes from a modern view of sex and gender (and, y’know, being trans). Not all the gender takes in the book are bad, but they are limited.

I found Le Guin’s exploration of trauma and ableism through Therru to be more interesting. There’s a lot of examination about how society treats Therru, a survivor of unspeakable abuse. Her trauma is visible due to severe burns along part of her body, leaving her with a missing eye and disfigured hand. Tenar spends much of the novel wondering what future Therru has; no matter how capable she is and how much she acts like any other little girl, strangers gawk at her, or assume she “deserved” what happened to her. Therru becomes happier and more independent over the course of the novel, but relapses into a traumatized state when she encounters one of her abusers. As a survivor, it’s heartbreaking and distressingly realistic. As much as I like Tenar, I almost wish the novel was from Therru’s perspective (other than the brief jump at the end), but I realize it would spoil the ending.

I’m torn on the ending because, while I thought it was cool and had some interesting revelations, it’s a jarring tonal shift. As I mentioned, Tehanu is a slow novel with a heavy focus on everyday life, and the trials and tribulations both Tenar and Therru experience. There’s even a climactic event a few chapters before the end; the only thing left is a persistent loose thread from earlier in the novel. That subplot explodes to the forefront a bare chapter and a half before the end of the book, and a lot of action-y fantasy stuff happens. It doesn’t come out of nowhere; it’s set up throughout the novel, but it is sudden.

That being said, I do like that the subplot with dragons vs humans is hinted at as early as The Tombs of Atuan. When Tenar tells the legend about the origin of dragons early in the story, my mind immediately went to that one room from the Labyrinth with the sad winged humanoids painted on its walls. I’m curious if there are hints elsewhere in the series. I also figured out Therru’s true name and how she relates to that subplot based on context clues. While it’s not a shocking twist, it is a satisfying one. Though parts of it gave me a “magical destiny” vibe which is counter to much of the series so far; I do wonder how the last two books will address this. (Also… did Le Guin imply Kalessin is Segoy? AKA God? What did she mean by this. So Ged literally like… hitched a ride from God, who promptly yeeted out of the story until the end? That’s kind of funny. Maybe I misinterpreted something.)

I probably sound critical of this book, but I did genuinely enjoy it. It just didn’t speak to me the way the previous two did. The next book is a short story collection before the conclusion to the series, so we’ll see where it goes! Tehanu set some stuff up that I expect will be expanded upon in these volumes.

#8/10 #taylor reads #2021 reading challenge

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fluffyglass · 3 years

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THE MR. RUDE APOLOGISM MASTERPOST

you may be asking "Oh dear god what has Finn gotten up to this time?" well, that my friend, is a very valid question! The answer to which is as follows: He's rewatched every single TMMS segment with Mr. Rude in it to prove that he's done nothing wrong!

After many many hours of rewatching, I've come to some conclusions on the depressed tomato man. I'll give a quick rundown here, then throw my episode by episode analysis under the cut.

Season 1

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 1.

In only 3 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 4 of the episodes where he's innocent, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Season 2

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 2.

In only 6 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 1 of the episodes where he's innocent, as well as one where he did do something wrong, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Conclusions

In total, Mr. Rude only actually did anything wrong in 9 out of the 60 segments he's in, which is 15%. That's less than a quarter of the time. Even counting the three episodes I was unsure about, that's only 12/60. 20%. Still less than a quarter.

Why have I been bringing up Mr. Fussy? Because this experience genuinely made me not like him anymore. In only one out of Mr. Fussy's 7 appearances with Mr. Rude does he not yell at him, and in five of the times he does - it was completely unjustified.

Now, onto the episode by episode section!

Ah, you wanna see my episode by episode analysis? Well, I'll give you a quick color legend first.

Yellow - Mr. Rude does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Rude does something wrong

Blue - Mr. Fussy yells at Mr. Rude for no reason

Pink - I have no idea what to put for this one lmao

Also, there's a ton of cursing in here because I wrote these notes as I went along and I don't feel like editing them to be more professional. You get what you get when it comes to Mr. Rude apologism.

SEASON 1

Flying - He does nothing wrong, he just asked Mr. Grumpy to do his fucking job. Though, I will admit, he was a dick about it.

Music - He does nothing wrong, Miss Naughty is a fucking bitch and Mr. Fussy targeted him for no got damn reason even though he has fucking ears and should have heard Miss Naughty going off on her fucking cymbals. Miss Naughty also tried to poison him so

Farm - He does nothing wrong, those bitch ass crows broke his fucking robot I cant believe this.

Booboos - He does nothing wrong, he literally just wants some decent service while he is in the fucking hospital and Mr. Scatterbrain is a fucking moron about it

Mall - He's barely in it and I will admit he is a bit of an asshole in this one but he doesn't do anything explicitly wrong

Birthday - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to buy a birthday present for his homie Mr. Grumpy. In fact, he shows that he cares about his friend because he knows what he would want (and gets something he wouldnt like, presumably as a joke). Hes a caring friend but also a troll.

Superstore - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to return his shitty toaster. It ends up well for everyone involved :)

Books - He does nothing wrong, he is literally just neurodivergent and cannot read social situations

Camping - He does nothing wrong, he tried to warn everyone that they were going the wrong way, and then called out Miss Whoops on her fucking bullshit and putting everyone in danger. He then proceeded to fucking die. Miss Daredevil doesnt even give a shit about two of the raft riders fucking dying what the fuck.

Paint - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to finish his painting commission.

Jobs - This is the one I time I'll admit he does something really wrong. He commits multiple driving related crimes, as well as throwing his sandwich at Mr. Quiet, splashing Mr. Nosey and Mr. Small, and taking advantage of Mr. Scatterbrain's stupidity. He also crumpled up Mr. Scatterbrain's drawing of a hamster.

Trains - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy's a bitch ass motherfucker, and he did more good than bad because he rescued Mr. Messy at the end.

Fair - He does nothing wrong, he got a fucking pie yeeted at him of course he wouldn't like it. He does put the pie in Mr. Scatterbrain's face though but he already got it in his face so it's just even now. He then proceeds to be pelted with pies. But thankfully it seems like they're both having fun by the end.

Movies - Yeah he's a bit of an asshole in this one. He puts too much cheese on Mr. Happy's nachos (and then throws them at him). He does get his karma though cause he gets fucking trapped in the popcorn machine someone please save him oh my god.

Dance - He does nothing wrong, he just has taste.

Inventions - He does nothing wrong, Miss Chatterbox just doesnt like him for the way he is which is super fucked up of her. What the fuck, man. He accepts Miss Chatterbox's invention regardless. He then proceeds to be abused by everyone around him. Hes totally justified in being mean at the end.

Amusement Park - Okay yeah he was an asshole in this one, cause he was rude to Miss Calamity about her supposed grooming habits. However, he was also abused a lot during multiple of the bumpers, which I guess counts as karma.

Adventure - He literally doesnt even do anything in this one

Rainy Day - Dude, his entire fucking family died. Give him a break.

Games - He did nothing wrong, he won the fucking game but Mr. Scatterbrain took the credit what the fuck he only had 3 POINTS MR RUDE HAD 4 MR. HAPPY YOU DUMB YELLOW FUCK LEARN HOW TO COUNT

Restaurants - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy is so fucking mean to him I will never get over this he deserves so much better what the fuck

Cars - he's just vibin man

Canned Goods - He does nothing wrong, he just ate some beans man

Collecting - he's barely in it and just kinda vibes

Full Moon - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got kidnapped by some fucking aliens with his alien husband

Heatwave - He does nothing wrong, 6 gay men just casually committed acts of Home Invasion and are going to be arrested for their crimes against him.

Sleep - He does nothing wrong, and I doubt anyone would have even noticed he was asleep if Miss Chatterbox kept her fucking mouth shut. He cant control what hes doing if hes fucking asleep. Even after all that he still clapped for Mr. Fussy, who hates him, at the end. What a champ.

Carwash - He does nothing wrong, Miss Calamity technically fucking kidnapped him what the fuck.

Lawns - He does nothing wrong, he didn't want to take his lawn to begin with and then got his lawn ruined for literally no reason, even after warning Me. Nosey and Mr. Small that their invention was gonna explode. He even gave Miss Chatterbox the joy in knowing she "won".

Parade - He does nothing wrong, he legit just made a float and Mr. Fussy fucking bullied him for it. What the fuck.

SEASON 2

Clean Teeth - Yeah hes a bitch in this one but Mr. Fussy was also a bitch so it evens out.

Airports - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted to go on his flight. Of anything, Miss Scary was more rude than he was.

Game Shows - He does nothing wrong like. Genuinely nothing, and then gets physically assaulted.

Hats - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Grumpy's just a fucking bitch and took credit for both his and Mr. Tickles hats. What the fuck, man.

Robots - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got his baguette burnt wtf

Up and Down - He's fine for the first bit but I will admit hes an asshole in the second one

Gifts - He does nothing wrong, he's just trying to keep Mr. Tickle from fucking assaulting people. Then his entire store is destroyed for no reason.

Sun and Moon - He does nothing wrong, he barely did anything at all

Telephone - I refused to watch this one I just know hes a bitch in it

Washing and Drying - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted his laundry done and he got assaulted at the end. Why is this a trend.

Fruit - He stole Miss Sunshines fucking fruit and then proceeded to endanger everyone around him by driving recklessly. What the fuck, man.

Radio - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Scatterbrain is just a moron, and Miss Whoops is a dumbass.

Supermarket - ???

Cinema - He doesn't do anything wrong, and he looks very nice in his new hat.

Post Office - He doesn't do anything wrong, hes trying his best okay (he also gets covered in stamps at the end)

Pets - He doesn't do anything wrong, he doesn't do anything at all

Dance Dance Dance - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Fussy's a fucking bitch

Trees - He doesn't do anything wrong, someone free him

Library - He didnt even do anything man

Pirates - He doesn't do anything wrong, in fact he is the first to jump in and protect his crewmates from the aliens. He also saves the entire space crew in the end.

Trains and Planes - He doesn't do anything wrong, he barely does anything to begin with

Out to Sea - He doesn't do anything wrong, it makes sense for him to act in his own self interest because he was stuck on a deserted island with those three morons for 30 fucking days. He didn't intend to take the boat, because the tide rolled him out. He is now inevitably going to die.

Next Door - Yeah hes a bitch in this one, but he didnt deserve to get his fucking car crushed.

Lunch - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn drew first blood.

Machines - This is a weird one. Is he really in the wrong for wanting to go home? I mean, it's safe to assume Miss Giggles is fucking dead if she was taken by a dinosaur. He even vows not to doubt Miss Daredevil at the end and is happy to see Miss Giggles okay

Fairies and Gnomes - even though he thinks it's silly that Mr. Nervous is scared of a garden gnome, he still "arrests" it to make him happy :)

Home Improvement - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn is just a moron.

Birds - He doesn't do anything wrong, he was even nice enough to invite Mr. Nervous along for the birdwatching trip. He's totally justified in not giving a shit about Mr. Fussy because Mr. Fussy has been nothing bit horrible to him the entire show.

Parks - He does nothing wrong he just wanted a burger

Surprises - Refused to watch this one again, I just know hes a bitch

Wow, that's a lot. Anyways, as a proud Mr. Rude apologist, I conclude that he's an innocent man and doesn't deserve the shit he gets. I can get taking his drivers license though that man cannot drive for the life of him

#mr men #the mr men show #mr men and little miss #mr rude #anyways #mr fussy SUCKS #I LEGIT PULLED A REVERSE MR STUBBORN WITH HIM #HE USED TO BE MY FAVORITE BUT I JUST #CANT STAND HIM ANYMORE #fuck mr fussy #all my homies hate mr fussy

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nikibogwater · 3 years

Text

The Norse Chaos Chronicles: Chapter Four--In which by some Easter miracle, the Incompetent Vikings defeat the Elder

Been a few days since my last update in regards to Team Bogwater’s exploits in the world of Valheim. This is mostly because we actually had a couple of play sessions that were relatively calm.

We actually did manage to expand to the Black Forest across the sea and set up a functioning base there, where we lived in somewhat cramped quarters for a while until we had gathered enough minerals to enter the Bronze Age (and by cramped, I mean all three of us were crammed into what was basically a single king-sized bed because we failed to make the house big enough to accommodate a reasonable amount of space between each of our beds--clearly some home renovations are in order).

I, being a very kind and responsible sister, spent some time on the server by myself making our base more secure with Stake Walls, setting up a sufficient space for storage, and gathering food, all tasks that the others didn’t seem too excited to take care of. I was expecting the boys to notice and at least tell me that my additions were helpful.

I know for a fact that they at least noticed, because when I joined them for this most recent play session, Gustav had decided that what our base needed now was a spike pit around the front gate, which I know wouldn’t have occurred to him if I hadn’t put up the spiky walls. I was never told that my additions were helpful or appreciated, but considering that there were far fewer deaths happening close to our base, I suspect they were nonetheless.

Niki: ...Is....Do we really need the spike trap? Like, is it necessary? Gustav: How could you even ask something like that?! I have never been more upset in my life. Niki: It’s just...like, there’s a bridge that goes right over it. Gustav: Yeah. So we can get across it. Niki: Right but so could the Greydwarves. Gustav: Greydwarves aren’t that smart. (20 minutes later) Gustav, trying and failing to shove a Greydwarf into the pit: You guys, I may have overestimated how unintelligent Greydwarves are.

Gustav got exactly one (1) Greydwarf to fall into the pit and die. The only other thing he caught was Tripe.

Okay, well, he did manage to get a Troll to walk into the spikes, but then it just smashed them all to pieces. It was at this point that Gustav finally accepted the reality of the fact that a spike pit was completely useless to us in this particular area.

Gustav, filling in the pit with rocks: Man, why didn’t one of you guys warn me that the spike trap was a dumb idea? Niki and Tripe: Yeah, that was our bad. 🙄 (10 minutes later) Niki, just peacefully mining copper in the forest: Wait, so where did the Troll go- *gets slammed by the Troll before I can even finish voicing the question* GUSTAV, WHY DIDN’T YOU KILL IT?!

Tripe and Gustav upgraded to Bronze Gear and Troll Hide (I brought mine over from my single player world to save time and resources). I was still trying to gather up enough Bronze to make a Cultivator so we could eat something other than Cooked Meat and Queen’s Jam, when suddenly I was informed that we were getting into a boat (we upgraded from the raft, finally) and going to kill the Elder.

Tripe: Get in losers, we’re going to kill the next boss. Gustav: *jumps in without any hesitation* Niki: Wait what?! That’s a terrible idea! (5 minutes later) Niki, sulking in the front of the boat: Did I mention this is a really bad idea? Gustav and Tripe: It’s fine. How bad can it possibly be?

Horrible. Absolutely horrible. That’s how bad it was.

We had rather unlucky RNG with our world generation, and the Elder’s altar was a good 1,000 miles away from us. Which meant a significant portion of this play session was actually just sitting in the boat and watching the scenery pass.

It sounds like a pleasant time, but I was absolutely terrified the whole way there.

Gustav: ...Oh hey, we discovered the ocean. Niki, who has seen videos of Sea Serpents absolutely wrecking well-equipped players: BACK TO THE SHORE. GO BACK. DO NOT MOVE INTO OPEN WATERS. GUSTAV, FOR THE LOVE, GO BACK TO THE SHORELINE! (Passing a Plains biome) Niki: ...Did you guys know there are one-hit death bugs in the Plains Gustav and Tripe: Will you please calm down

We happened to run across Haldur the merchant shortly before reaching our destination. Since Valheim doesn’t tie your inventory to individual worlds, I went ahead and bought a few things to bring back to my single-player world (namely the fishing gear). I hopped off the server for a minute to transfer the items, and while I was in my world, I grabbed some extra food (the boys are terrible about keeping food in their inventories) and, since I figured we’d need all the help we could get, grabbed a few jugs of mead without really paying attention to what effects they gave.

When I came back into the server, Tripe and Gustav were setting up our temporary base so we could reset our spawn points. Right. Smack. Dab. Next to the altar. As in, when the Elder spawned, he was going to basically be standing directly on top of it.

Niki: ...You guys that seems like a poorly-conceived plan. Gustav and Tripe: No, it’s fine. Stop worrying.

At this point, I was pretty resigned to the disaster that was inevitably going to unfold, so I just grabbed some wood and set up my own shack a decent ways away without making any further attempts to convince the other two.

Gustav: Niki, where are you? We’re all ready. Niki: I just...I’ll be there in a minute, hold on. Tripe: What are you doing? Niki: ...I’m building a house. Gustav: YOU ARE BUILDING YOUR OWN HOUSE WHEN WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD ONE RIGHT HERE?! RUDE! Niki: I DON’T WANNA RESPAWN AND THEN JUST IMMEDIATELY BE SQUISHED AGAIN, ALRIGHT?!

Houses built and weapons readied, we all gathered at the altar. I chucked the Ancient Seeds into the flame and immediately booked it out of the vicinity as fast as my meaty Vikings legs could carry me, frantically downing a jug of mead as I went. The Elder spawned in and within seconds, absolute carnage reigned supreme.

Gustav died within the first two minutes and spent the next ten trying to make it back to his grave. Which he couldn’t really do because his respawn point was right next to the Elder, and emerging from the house naked of all armor and gear was basically an instant death sentence.

Gustav: I’ve died six times trying to get my gear back. We really shouldn’t have built the house this close to the altar. Niki, why didn’t you warn us? Niki, fleeing from the massive thorny vines that the Elder is trying to impale her on: I hate you guys so much right now.

I was hanging back as much as I could, dealing damage with my Finewood Bow, but the Elder has a huge range of attack, and it had me down to single digits in health within less than a minute. And it was at this point that I realized I had majorly screwed up.

The mead that I had been frantically chugging in hopes of gaining better health regen? It was actually slowing my health regen and only increasing my stamina.

Niki: YOU GUYS THE MEAD WAS A MISTAKE. OH MY GOSH, IT’S MINUS FIFTY HEALTH REGEN, NOT PLUS! OH CRAP CRAP CRAP--I’M LITERALLY SLOSHED OVER HERE! Gustav: WAIT, NIKI CAME INTO THIS FIGHT DRUNK?! Niki: I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MINUS SIGN!!!! *yeets the rest of the mead into the ocean before meeting my first demise at the hands of the Elder*

Miraculously, I only died twice during the fight (again, mostly because my respawn point was away from the altar, meaning I had a clearer path back to my graves when I respawned). I have no idea how many times the other two died. Towards the end we were also being bombarded by hoards of Greydwarves, which only made things ten times worse.

Gustav: Have either of you seen my corpse? I mean, I have several lying around here at this point.

I don’t even know how we managed it, but we did finally take out the Elder and received our Swamp Keys. We all stood around the scene of destruction for a minute, just kind of collecting ourselves.

Tripe: ...I feel like that could’ve gone better. Gustav: Yeah. It’s just, Niki goes and does all this research and watches videos and then she doesn’t bother to tell us not to put our house so close to the- Niki: *punches him*

The trip home was blessedly uneventful. Tripe did decide to cut across the ocean instead of following the shoreline in order to save time. I was 90% certain we were all going to be eaten by a Serpent, but we were fine.

We made it back to our camp only to find a Greydwarf Shaman mucking around in our front yard.

Gustav: What is he--is he barfing on our house...? NO, HE’S SMASHING THE CART! OH YOU SON OF A-- *takes a flying leap out of the boat and tears through the shallows, furiously waving his spear*

The Shaman poisoned Tripe, who had a mild panic attack because his respawn point was still back at the Elder’s Altar, and if he died now he would have to walk all the way back here.

Tripe, with 1 HP left: NO I’M NOT DYING LIKE THIS! *dives headfirst into the nearest bed*

So yes. That is what I was doing this weekend, in case any of you were wondering where I disappeared to. I am hoping to spend some time working on ToA stuff today, but I again, I think it is important to record these events for posterity...and perhaps as a cautionary tale for others.

#niki rambles #gaming #valheim

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chickynn · 4 years

Text

“Inosuke learns how to read”

I have no idea what this is supposed to be.

But enjoy.

Hana belongs to @pandabobachan

Rin belongs to me uwu

Hana sat across Inosuke as she teaches him how to read. Rin was beside her, enjoying Inosuke's suffering as he struggles to read a word.

"Alright, Inosuke, what does this say?" Hana smiles, pointing to a word written on the paper.

Inosuke squints at it, "B-bo...boooaa...-" Someone help him.

"It's 'boat', you idiot" Rin konks him on the head. Before anyone could even blink, the table flew across the room. Hana tried to restrain Inosuke from trying to rip Rin's hair out.

"WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT READING! IT'S NOT LIKE I NEED IT FOR DEFEATING DEMONS!!" Inosuke gives up, then proceeds to stomp out of the room. Hana follows after him.

I mean, he's not wrong.

Rin stared at the mess he made. Looks like they're going to get in trouble again.

"W-what happened?" Tanjiro, who had just entered the room with Zenitsu, asked. He then noticed the broken table at the other side of the room, "Oh"

Rin shrugged, "That's not my problem now," she peaced sign, "later!". Then she walked out of the room, Zenitsu following after.

"Rin-chaaaan~" He did one of his weird giggles. But for some reason, Rin find them cute-

"What do you want?" Rin whipped around, glaring at him, trying to hide her obvious blush.

Zenitsu only pouted at her, "Where are you going, Rin-chan?"

Rin's facial expressions soften, "I'm going on a mission...like, really far away from here" she scratched the back of her head, "So I had to take the train for that..."

She started to have Vietnam war flashbacks. She shivered.

Zenitsu whined, "But Rin-chaaan! You're going to be far away from me!"

"Quit your whining, I won't be gone for too long anyways"

Zenitsu was about to comply more, but Rin already went ahead and shyly kisses his cheek, before stumbling away from him.

Tanjiro went out the room to see Zenitsu fainting. He walked over his body, "Zenitsu, wake up! We're going on a mission!"

-------------

Rin sat on a booth, farther away from everyone else so she wouldn't be disturbed. But then she started to hear Vector's theme song from Despicable Me.

A strange looking man wearing an orange jumpsuit sat in front of her, smirking, "Hey"

Rin ignored him and continued staring out the window.

He got up and tiptoed beside her, "I'm thinking about applying to be a tsuguko of a pillar going by the name 'Vector!'"

She only scooted away.

He continued, "It's a mathematical term represented by an arrow in both direction and magnitude!"

Rin was now already at the far side of the seat.

Vector slid next to her, "VECTOR! that's me! Cus I'm stopping demons with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAAHHH!"

Rin wanted to beat the shit out of him right now, but decided to preserve her energy for the actual battle.

Seeing as she is ignoring him right now, he still continued, "Check out my new weapon..." He then pulled put a gun, "PIRANHA GUN! OH YESSSS"

Rin looked at his weapon, isn't that dangerous? But then again, she remembered that her squad has Inosuke in it.

"It shoots out live piranhas! Ever seen one? NO! I invented this myself, want a demonstration?"

She doesn't even need to answer that because he had already shot it and it accidentally hit a person. He started screaming and immediately ran towards the very front part of the train.

Rin shot up from her seat and was about to run after the person, but the train stopped. Everyone on the train starts panicking.

Rin screeched, "WHAT HAPPENED-?"

"THE CONDUCTOR DIED!" A random stranger screeches back.

Rin fell to her knees, "nOOOOOO- HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO TO MY MISSION?!"

Then she turned to glare at Vector, who just slowly hid his gun and pretended like nothing happened. She grabbed him by his collar, ready to throw a punch at him.

"YOUUUUUUUUU!!!"

Vector starts sobbing, "NO WAIT PLEASE!! I HAVE CHILDREN"

"Rin! Please him go! He PROBABLY didn't do anything!" A voice that sounds like Tanjiro said, catching her off guard.

She turned around to see Tanjiro, behind him were Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Hana.

Wait what.

"What are you all doing here?" Rin furrowed her eyebrows. She is beyond confusion now.

"I guess we're all sent to the same mission" Tanjiro chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

That kind of explains it.

"Attention passengers; please remain calm, this isn't the first time that our conductor has died. We'll fix this issue which will take a couple of hours. So in the meantime, listen to this really calm music used in Titanic."

A loud screeching noise was heard from the speakers. Everyone started screaming and covering their ears, begging for it to stop. That totally calmed everyone down.

"Damn, I sure do wonder how they're going to fix this situation" Hana said, munching on her hot cheetos that she has taken out of nowhere.

Rin groaned and went to a different train cart so that she can do something while they're stuck here. Zenitsu follows after her, "My love! Look, I'm here with you right now! Why don't we just enjoy each other's companies- wait what the-"

There was a rave going on in this cart. Rin stared at it in disgust but decided to enter it anyways. It probably has food in and drinks in it, better than Hana's hot cheetos anyway.

Zenitsu followed her in confusion as she starts eating the food on the tables. "Hey, Rin...are we really supposed to be here?"

Rin didn't answer him, only stuffing more food in her mouth. She honestly doesn't know what she's eating, but holy shit these tasted good. Zenitsu only watched her as she drank something from one of the cups that were placed there.

"Hey! You gotta try these!" Rin offered him a drink, but he refused. He's probably still thinking that they weren't supposed to be eating or drinking in here. She shrugged and drank the whole thing by herself in one gulp. She felt a little tipsy after drinking that, but she can still manage.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" Someone yelled, but Rin didn't even care, she just continued refilling her cup, completely unaffected. That is, until Zenitsu grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the place, causing her drink to spill. Once they were out of the place, he noticed that Tanjiro and the others are nowhere to be found.

'Oh God oh please oh no-' Zenitsu starts hsving a mental breakdown internally.

"nOoOOoooOOO, wHy'D yOu do THaaAT-" Rin whined, throwing weak punches at him, none of them affecting him. Zenitsu sighed, pulling her arm over his shoulder to help her walk properly. Rin complained, saying that she can walk properly by herself.

He doubts that.

Zenitsu sets her down on a booth, then started to think of ways to handle this. It wasn't the first time that he is handling his drunk partner. It's just that Tanjiro was there to help him. But now he is nowhere to be found.

He just decided to stay and watch over her to prevent her from doing stupid stuff. Right now, she's trying to get out of his iron grip so that she can go back to that cart. Rin didn't know when he got so strong to hold her down without struggling, but holy shit that just turns her on-

I CANT BRETAGE WTF

Anyways, this wasn't the 'enjoying each other's companies' that Zenitsu pictured earlier. He starts to pray for Tanjiro or the others to come back.

Soon, Rin started calming down and is now dozing off to sleep. "N-nOoo i dOn'T waNnA sLeeP...yet...." lmao too late bitch you're snoring off your fat ass now.

Zenitsu was thankful that she finally fell asleep. Now all he needs to do is keep praying for the others to come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rin finally woke up from her sleep. She immediately sat up to look at her surroundings. She noticed everyone else sitting on different beds next to hers. They looked like they just came out of a warzone or something.

"Holy shit...what happen to you guys?" Rin asked.

Tanjiro struggled to sit up, "Well...Inosuke-"

"Makes sense"

"B-but I didn't get to finish-"

"Rin-chan! You're awake!!" Zenitsu came in the room and was about to run and hug her, but he realized that he's holding something. So he walked over to her and placed them on her nightstand before hugging her.

"So uh,, what day is it?" Rin asked, trying to free herself from Zenitsu's bone crushing hug.

"One" Inosuke said.

Hana sighed, "What he meant to say is, it's just been a day since the train incident"

Everything suddenly comes back to Rin. That Vector guy. Hana's hot cheetos. That rave party in the cart. Her heads started to hurt just by thinking about it.

Zenitsu noticed how she's holding her head, so he gives her a painkiller that he had brought in earlier.

After drinking the painkiller, she tried processing everything again. Then she realized that she's supposed to be on her mission right now. She then proceeds to wonder where the fuck they are.

"If you're wondering, we're actually in the village for our mission now" Han said. Wow- it's like she read Rin's mind or something.

"Yes, I can read your mind" Hana smiles at her.

"Wait what-"

"Nothing, anyways, let's just stay and rest here for a bit before we yeet out"

"I DON'T WANNA SIT AND WAIT, I WANNA KILL SOME DEMONS NOW!! " Inosuke screamed, jumping out of his bed.

"Inosuke, calm down! Remember your breathing exercises!" Tanjiro panicked and got out of his bed to restrain the angy boi, "Try doing some Yoga too!"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A YOGA, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT"

"Do the dang Yoga!" Hana intervened.

"I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO-"

Rin rose up from her bed (which made Zenitsu fall because he was sitting on her) and started stomping on Inosuke.

"Uh guys, I'm pretty sure this isn't how yoga went" Tanjiro said.

"STOP! THIS ISN'T CALMING HIM DOWN!" Hana screamed. Zenitsu starts screaming aswell as he tried to pry Rin off Inosuke, but he somehow managed to get into the mess.

Hana looked at Tanjiro, who just laid back down, "Aren't you going to do anything?"

Tanjiro pulled the covers over him, "It doesn't matter, they're not going to listen to me anyways"

He has a point. With that, the two of them went back to sleep as if nothing is currently happening.

Meanwhile, Inosuke managed to run away from Rin and Zenitsu. Rin ran to chase after him, screaming, screeching and yelling can be heard from outside the room. Zenitsu tried to follow after but he realizes that there was also no point in that, so he just went to bed too lmao

Inosuke and Rin ran to the front desk, the lady in charge starts screaming, thinking Inosuke was a monster because of his mask. He hisses at her and proceeds to climb on the walls, away from the place.

What did Hana see in this creature.

Rin starts running after him outside the inn they were staying. Inosuke stood there, completely frozen and staring at something. “Come on, pig head, let’s go back in-” She was cut off short when she saw what was in front of them.

A demon. A huge one. A bunch of letters that can be formed into words looked like they were tattooed into his skin. The letters are also moving and shifting, forming new words. Rin wonders what his demon art is. But anyways, she wasted no time in grabbing her blade, preparing to swing at him.

Inosuke went behind to inspect something from the back of him. Rin swing her blade to the demon’s neck, but he dodged, kicking her side. She slams to the wall, the impact made her vision a bit blurry. She looked over at Inosuke, who was still looking behind the demon’s back.

“MWUAHAAHHAHAHAH!! THAT THING WON’T WORK ON ME!! THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT ME IS IF YOU SAY A MAGIC WORD”

“Please die” Rin groaned, laying down somehow comfortably on the broken debris of the wall.

“NICE TRY! BUT THAT’S NOT IT, THE WORD IS MERELY IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK OF!!” The demon does a jojo pose, continuing, “ONLY PEOPLE WITH MASSIVE IQ CAN BE ABLE TO THINK OF THE WORD”

“Hey this spells boat!” Inosuke happily says, pointing to a word behind his back. He is proud of himself for remembering what had Hana thought him. Everything fell silent for-

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY WEAKNESS”

“wait what”

Then he explodes. Bits and pieces of body parts of the demon came flying everywhere, those whose mouths were open were blessed with demon limbs.

“I have so many questions right now, but I’m gonna sleep” Rin grumbles, closing her eyes to peacefully rest around the splattered insides of the demon. Until she heard a bunch of footsteps running over her.

“OH MY GOSH RIN IS DEAD” A voice laced with worry said, who Rin assumed was Hana. She still didn’t budge, to exhausted to even open her eyes. Another voice that sounded like Zenitsu’s spoke, “MOVE!! I KNOW HOW TO DO CPR!!”

Rin’s eyes shot back up sitting up instantly, “nO WAIT- MMPH!!”

Ah too late. Zenitsu had already performed his so-called ‘cpr’ which is literally just kissing her. He pulls away after, inspecting Rin’s now wide awaken face. “HEY IT WORKED- OW!!”

Rin repeatedly smacks him on the head, a furious blush plastered on her face. Meanwhile, Hana runs up to Inosuke with the most worried look on her face, “What happened?!”

Inosuke smirks under his mask, sticking up his nose in the air in pride, “The great Lord Inosuke has defeated the demon!!” Then he victoriously laughs. Hana giggles, hugging him tightly as she nuzzles her face against his chest.

“Wow...you’re so strong hehehe”

Inosuke scoffs, “Of course I am! Who do you think I am?!”

“My strong Inosuke~”

“YES!! PRAISE ME MORE!” Inosuke cackles more, picking her up and spinning them together. A matching blush adorning both of their cheeks. Tanjiro felt single now.

“Hey uh...sorry to interrupt but how exactly did you defeat it?” Tanjiro nervously intervenes, thinking it was rude to interrupt them. Inosuke didn’t seem to mind that much though.

“That’s easy! I just simply have big IQ!” Inosuke snickers, pointing at himself pridefully. Everyone else doubts that. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Hana looked at him in confusion, then they looked at Rin. She shrugs, “I don’t know guys, I had a concussion earlier and started seeing....things”

She shivers, after having another Vietnam flashback for a split second. Everyone else decided to just ask her later after her headache have subsided. They headed back to the inn, not even bothering to clean up the demon limbs or the broken wall.

#demon slayer ocs #kny ocs #kimetsu no yaiba ocs #hana fujiwara #rin honoyama #rinzen #hanosuke #panda-chaaaan!!

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korgidorgi · 4 years

Text

TLOU&Supergirl Crossover x Reader - Part 6

Word Count: 2303

Warnings: Nightmare, violence, not real death, swearing

Part 1 - P2 - P3 - P4 - P5

You find yourself falling. It's a short drop, but it hurts once you land on your back, squishing the Clicker between you and a polished table. You let out a groan of pain before you slip off the edge and onto the polished floor. Some items fall off with you, some of them breaking. You yelp in pain as a few glass shards embed themselves into your skin. The bright lights of the object that dropped you from the ceiling and the room hinder your sense briefly, but your eyes soon adjust. The Clicker rolls over and quickly gets on top of you, screeching at you as you desperately try to fight it off.

“Fuck, get off me!” You yell at it, trying to keep it's face away from you. “Abby! Lev!”

The Bloater across the room screams at you, locating you before charging. You quickly shiv the Clicker, pushing its body off of you and you quickly duck out of the way, quickly grabbing your new molotov and yeeting it at the creature, setting it alight. It flails about as the flames lick at it's fungal skin. The fire finally dies on it and you’ve already found a new position. The doors on the opposite side of the room slide open just as the Bloater starts charging you.

“Look out!” The person screams.

You roll out of the Bloaters path just in time, but the Bloater gives you no time to recover and charges again, knocking you down.

…

“Alright, this should work.” Lena says, plugging things into a tablet to operate her and Brainy’s device. “We might have to go through a few different portals so we don't give you the wrong one.”

“But, if we match the energy reading up to the one you came through, we’ll have a better chance of locating the exact portal you came through.” Brainy adds, looking at his own tablet to monitor the device's energy levels.

The two start the device up, trying to find the right wormholes to open up to connect you back to your world. You can finally see Abby and Lev again! You bounce on your feet in anticipation as you watch a familiar light blue glow begin from the portal. It finally opens wide enough and Lena and Brainy double and triple check everything on their monitors and tablets.

“Alright, just step through and check if it's your world.” Lena says. “We’ll hold it open for you. Just step back through to tell us whether it's right or not.”

You take a breath before stepping through. You’re back in the lab where it all happened. The dark lab is illuminated by your flashlight and the light of the portal. You take a few cautious steps forward, looking around the room. It’s empty.

“Abby? Lev?” You call out, stepping over broken glass and other wreckage.

There’s no response, so you push into the building, gun now in hand. You quickly make your way to the ground floor to look for the two.

“Abby?” You call, coming up the stairs. “Lev?”

You reach the top of the stairs to the ground floor and spot them. They’re both laying on the ground. Your heart rate picks up at the sight. You rush over to them to make sure they’re okay and as you get closer, you notice that there's blood everywhere.

“Shit. No no no no no…” You mutter, kneeling by their bodies.

They’ve got scratches and tears all over their bodies. It looks like Infected did this.

“Lev… Abby...” Tears start rolling down your face as you cry over them. “Please, move, speak, anything.” You beg, holding onto Abby’s limp hand. “Please…”

…

Your eyes shoot open and are met with the familiar sight of the dark ceiling. You sit up, shoving the blankets back a bit. You swing your legs over the side of the bed and stand up to make your way to the living room. You glance at the clock: 3:07 am. You sigh, running your fingers through your hair, pacing silently about the room trying to forget your dream. It was just so real. After a while of pacing around and standing at the window, you take a seat at Kara’s kitchen island on the stool. You reach into your pocket and pull out the tag and look over it before closing your hand over it. You place your elbows on the table and fold your other hand over your fist and rest your chin on top of your hands.

Not too long after, Kara emerges, softly padding down the short hallway and leaning on the wall.

“Still not sleeping well?” She sleepily asks, yawning.

“No.” You admit, turning the tag on your hands.

“Whatcha got there?” She asks referring to the tag.

“It belongs to a friend.” You answer, thinking back to the day you met your friends. “She gave it to me after I found her when she and this kid brought their boat ashore Catalina Island.”

“What’re their names?” She asks, making her way over to sit next to you.

“Abby and Lev.” You answer.

“What are they like?” She presses on.

“Well, when I first met them, they were very defensive. They were weak, so they were kind of forced to let me take care of them.” You begin to think about the events from back then. “They’ve grown to like me, since they both invited me to join them. Abby is very strong and protective, though she can be stand-offish at times. Lev is quite wise for his age. He came from this weird cult in Seattle. He’s still learning some things about ‘Old World’ things.”

“What do you mean by ‘Old World’?” Kara wonders.

“The people he came from, Seraphites, didn’t believe in technology like electricity or powered items. They had some exceptions for their soldiers, who used guns as well as bows and arrows. They used wood to make their houses and watch towers and other structures on their island.” You explain.

“How long have you known them?”

“I’ve lost track.” You answer. “I’d say a long time, maybe a year and a half, two years.”

“Were you guys looking for something before this all happened?”

“Actually, yeah. Abby wants to find a group she used to be a part of called the Fireflies.” You look over your pendant. “That’s what this is from.” You set it down for her to look at. “The two got a lead for Catalina Island, but by the time they arrived and recovered, the base was no more. We still don’t know where they are. We’ve heard some rumors saying somewhere around National City. Some sort of Desert Facility.” You explain. “We have no clue where it is, just that it’s close to National City.”

“I think I know what you’re talking about.” Kara announces, placing the pendant back on the table.

“You do?” You perk up at her answer.

“Yeah, Alex used to work there.” She says, turning to fully face you. “I can take you there sometime!”

“You can?” You’re in shock at the news.

“Yeah, so as long as our two worlds are parallel and everything is just… abandoned in your world, it would still be there in your world.” She says, getting excited. “And depending on what else has changed about your world's environment, it would pretty much be the same route in both worlds. Of course I would have to ask Alex about taking you there, but I doubt she’ll say no to me.”

“That sounds great!” You exclaim, heart rate picking up a bit in your excitement.

Kara glances at the clock. “It's only 6:35. We gotta be at the DEO by 8. I doubt you feel like going back to sleep for 40 minutes.”

“Yeah, not really.”

“How do you want to kill some time?” She asks and you shrug in response. “Why don’t you tell me more about Abby and Lev?”

The two of you go back and forth, her asking questions about them, and you answering them. You share a few major stories about your encounters with Infected, and some small lighthearted memories; ones without danger. You then start asking questions about Kara’s friends, and she returns the favor by answering and telling stories about them. You continue to talk through breakfast before finally calling it and heading out to drive to the DEO. Upon arrival, Alex is waiting by the circular table as usual.

“Alex, so in her world, her and her friends are trying to find a group called the Fireflies. I think their base is the Desert Facility.” Kara explains. “So, I was going to make sure it was okay with you to show her where the facility is so when she goes back, she can help her friends get there.”

“They won't let you in.” Alex warns.

“Yeah, I know, I just want to show her where it is so she can find it when she goes back.” Kara acknowledges.

“Alright, I don’t see a problem with it.” Alex says, putting her hands on her hips.

“Thank you, Alex!” She excitedly bounces on her feet. “Can I take her later today?”

“Sure, as long as she’s back before you have to take her home for the night.” Alex approves.

“Alright! I’ll go tell her!” Kara briskly makes her way into the Lab you’re hanging out in under the supervision of Lena and Brainy.

She opens the door and enters, shooting the two scientists a smile and greeting. “Y/N! Great news!” She walks over to your puzzled form. “Alex is going to let me take you to the Desert Facility!”

“Really?” You ask, surprised.

She nods her head ecstatically.

“Wow, I- Thank you, Kara.” You say.

“I’ll take you later today, I’ve got to check into work first, but I’ll swing by around noon, yeah?” Kara asks.

“Yeah, that's- that works.” You beam at her.

“Great, I’ll see you then!” She confirms.

She then makes her way out of the building, leaving you alone with the two geniuses. To kill time, you start to write a little bit in your journal, sketching a few things to go along with it.

…

Around 12, Kara pokes her head in, just as she had said earlier. You jump to your feet, grabbing your stuff and shoving it in your bag.

“You ready?” She asks, giggling at your antics.

She leads you to her car, waving goodbye to Alex, before making your way down and out of the building. You both get in her car and strap in before taking off. During the ride, Kara tries her best to point out all the street names that she takes, which direction, and whatnot. You dig out your journal and begin to write down the directions as she talks. She points out different notable features of the environment to maybe help as a marker to let you know if you were on the right trail. The cityscape soon becomes residences, small roads, and finally a desert. She continues down the roads, continuing to give you information about the directions. She turns off of the main road and onto a dirt road. She continues for a few minutes before signs start popping up about trespassing. She stops the vehicle and the two of you get out to look around the area.

The dust covered tundra stretches for miles. It's almost impossible to see the skyscrapers of National city. The ridges of the small mountains you two passed through on the way there stand proudly in the distance as the sun beats down on the two of you.

“Okay, so the Facility is just a couple miles ahead.” Kara explains. “This is just the border to the property. If you just continue this way, you should start to see it soon.”

She stands with you for a few more minutes, letting you take in the scenery before she heads back to get in the car. You join her moments after and she hands you a folded piece of paper.

“This is a map of the city, I almost forgot to give it to you.” She turns to help you unfold the map and she takes a pen to it, circling a few buildings in the city. “This is the DEO.” She notes on the map and aloud, moving to circle another building. “This is L-Corp, and this is the exit we took out of the city.” She circles and labels them on the map. “Hope this is helpful for when you go back to your world.” She smiles.

“Thank you, you’re such a big help.” You respond.

She gives you another smile before starting the car to take you back to the DEO.

…

“How was it?” Alex greets the two of you.

“I think it went well.” Kara responds.

“Yeah, thanks for letting us go.” You thank her for her gesture.

“Well, I think Lena and Brainy have some news for you.” Alex informs you, gesturing to the Lab they’re working in.

You push the door open and enter, catching the two scientists' attention.

“Hello, how was your outing?” Lena greets.

“It was fine.” You respond. “Uh, Alex said you have some news for me.”

“Ah, yes. Well, so we found a model that worked with the computers” She states. “We have the stuff to make it, it will just take some time.”

“Do you know approximately how long?” You ask.

“Maybe a week, if everything goes smoothly.” She informs.

“Which I calculated to be an 86.626% chance of success.” Brainy interrupts, spilling a bunch of numbers.

“We’ll need your participation to find your world, of course, when we have tested it.” Lena adds.

“Alright, that’s great. Thank you.”

#supergirl #supergirl crossover #tlou crossover #tlou #tlou2 #deo #alex danvers #kara danvers #lena luthor #querl dox #nightmare ah #fanfiction #x reader #abby anderson #Lev

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kingburu · 4 years

Note

Wait what's the Jasico ATLA AU? 👀

The year is who cares

Kronos, leader of the Air Nomads, has taken a violent approach to air bending, much like Zahir. Fire Lord Jupiter takes it upon himself to kill Kronos and eliminate the entire race of airbenders in his youth

As he reaches adulthood he bears two children: Thalia, a prominent and graceful fire bender who prefers to lightning bend, and Jason, who (presumably) does not know how to bend at all. In order to appease his wife, Fire Lady Juno, he lets her raise him, and so he lives his first fifteen years of his life as a diplomat. Jupiter is aware that the Avatar should be born in the Fire Nation this time around but not sure where.

In school, Jason has two friends: Piper, whose father is a prominent actor for the Ember Island players, and Leo, whose mother was a war mechanic who helped create the ships before she died. One day, Jason gets invited to one of his father’s war meetings, under the belief that Jupiter wants him to counsel.

Instead, he finds out that his father is planning on eliminating the Earth Kingdom and Northern Water Tribe next in order to maintain power over them. Jason tells his father this could be unwise, his father challenges his (presumably non bender son) to an Agni Kai to discipline him. Jupiter goes for the kill, and Jason accidentally blocks with a gust of wind, thus confirming he’s the newest Avatar.

While Jupiter plots to utilize Jason in the war, Thalia kidnaps Jason, throws him on a boat to set sail towards the Southern Water Tribe (where they no longer do trade with) to keep him safe for the time being. Little known to Jason, Leo is sleeping in the bunker below.

Cut to Percy, who has heard stories about his father, the chief, who died in the previous war. Percy is the last water bender in the Southern Water Tribe, who takes great pride in wanting to protect his mother and sister and stepdad. He sees the Fire Nation ship sailing towards them and prEPARES FOR BATTLE

Except it’s just a kid and he’s actually pretty cool

Sally reveals this his father never died in the previous war, that his father is actually Poseidon, chief of the Northern Water Tribe. She advises that if they want to protect the world, they should start there. Percy agrees to help navigate so he can learn to water bend and meet his father

Some other shenanigans

Ares, Jupiter’s war advisor assists in assembling an elite team of warriors to retrieve Jason, including Frank, Octavian, and Clarisse

Frank is pretty freaked out that Octavian thinks he’s a seer that can see things by stabbing stuffed animals, they have to stop at every port too often to get more stuffed animals, it’s a travesty. Clarisse is pretty violent (Eventually he yeets himself off this ship and asks if he can join them)

Piper is somewhere in the mix, she somehow ends up on Kiyoshi Island (literally just Athens) where Annabeth shows her it’s possible to be beautiful and a warrior

Tyson is an architect who helps build things in the North Pole, Percy is jealous at first but he loves his little brother.

Eventually when Jason needs to learn how to earthbend, he finds a lead at a swamp, sees a boy called the Ghost King. Leo sees Hazel, Percy learns how to swampbend

Hades has quite literally closed the doors on the Earth Kingdom and refuses to go to war after the death of his daughter, Bianca, who he was going to send to train the Avatar. They sneak in anyway because why not

Nico has since given up on the life of earth bending. Instead, he’s more fascinated with the idea of the Spirit World and tries to become an air acolyte to have a deeper connection to travel and be at peace with Bianca’s spirit. He’s only been able to access the spirit world once: near a town that was recently slain by the Fire Nation. He sees the spirit of a Fortune teller’s daughter and is able to bring her back to her body. Nico brings her back to Ba Sing Se, Hades says “alright cool, btw this is your sister”

Hazel is pretty fucking amazing at earth bending, Nico sneaks her out to go fight at Earth Rumble the same way Bianca would for him. He is found. He says they’re not helping the avatar, the air acolytes are peaceful people and he’s a PACIFIST besides he has a tea shop and there’s no one to tend to it while he’s gone

Eventually Jason needs to learn how to firebend for realsie and wants to sneak back into the Fire Nation so Thalia can train him, but she was off doing her own thing by creating a rebellion among the women in the Fire Nation. Leo has no choice but to train him

There’s jasico mixed in there somewhere

The end (for now)

#pjo #hoo #i’m so sorry i don’t know how to use the read more tag with this new app #ephemeren #there is jasico in there i promise #lol #hmu if i should write it

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bashlandrya · 3 years

Photo

sebastian ‘bash’ landry: an updated intro !

since it has been literally like 9 months since i posted his most recent intro, here is a new updated one for anyone who has not kept up with bash’s crazy dumb life. yeet

tw drugs, alcoholism, death, violence, jail, dumbassery

let me say first he’s honestly the worst, he's nice and friendly almost to an annoying extent and it will absolutely be genuine most of the time but at times he only is because he will gain something from it. he lies a shitload but can also be extremely blunt. he’s arrogant and has way too much confidence but deep down probably hates himself. he’s selfish, he’s impulsive and he might punch you if you step on his toes at a bad time. he will make elaborate excuses instead of admitting he did something wrong but has still been in jail a few times because he said ‘yeah i did it lol’ (usually when caught red handed). he also drinks way too much but denies alcoholism and he’s barely changed mentally in over a decade. it is honestly a miracle he’s not dead. ok thanks for coming to my ted trash bash talk. i love this man.

basics

name: sebastian damien landry

nicknames: bash (almost always), seb (but rarely), idiot (regularly)

birthday/age: march 22d, 1991 / thirty

gender/pronouns: cis-male / he, him

sexuality: sadly still a heterosexual

zodiacs: aries ☉ ; gemini ☽ ; sagittarius 🡕

occupation: drug dealer (mostly weed, some cocaine and psychadelics).

hobbies: all types of adventures, his motorcycle, drinking, video games, music (he plays drums and does back up vocals in a not very serious local punk/rock/metal mostly cover band - more info here).

neighbourhood: downtown (apartment tour here)

length of time in crescent harbour: since summer 2009 (12 years)

place of birth: new orleans, louisiana (yes boi has a bit of an accent)

height: 6′5″ (195cm)

moral alignment: chaotic neutral.

positive traits: adventurous, kind-hearted, fun-loving, witty, spontaneous, humorous, clever, generous, protective, sweet and caring.

negative traits: troublesome, sarcastic, deceitful, somewhat arrogant, temperamental, impulsive, rebellious, loud, blunt, dishonest, sometimes aggressive and a bit selfish

tattoos: a seven of spades on his left pec (x). an arrow on his left outer forearm (x). the moon cycle on the right side of his torso (x). geometric tattoo on his right outer forearm (x). a wolf on his left shin (x). aries-inspired ram skull on his upper back (x). a fleur de lis on his left upper arm (x). a sloppy drunk tattoo his friend gave him a year after his mother’s death, on his right knee that just says ‘mom’.

scent: cigarette smoke, liquor, citrus, cologne.

background

Grew up just outside of New Orleans with his parents and six siblings, he’s the third (black sheep but they all love him anyway<3). His mother died suddenly when he was 18 years old and the family moved to Crescent Harbor where he repeated his Senior year in High School.

He started getting into more trouble, arrested several times and graduated High School behind bars and then..... Continued reckless, bad behavior for the next 12 years anyway.

To some peoples’ surprise he went to College and actually has a Bachelors in Humanities. He’s dumb but not dumb.

Slept around a lot in his teens up until his first year of College when he got chlamydia and got more careful.

Started dating the Blackwood cousin Jamie when he was 21 and they were on and off for four years, Bash going in and out of jail, until she finally left him in 2016 and moved to New York.

Bash set out to change but didn’t succeed and kept living like he always had; going to jail a couple of times, sleeping around somewhat but with protection and disappearing out of town for weeks at a time. He once ended up staying on an island for two weeks because he got super drunk and hopped on the ferry and had no money to get back — and of course he left his phone on the mainland.

In July 2020 he reconnected with LiIy Whittaker, an old High School friend-ish. They ended up hooking up on a boat (that Bash, unknown to Lily, had stolen borrowed from her dad).

They kept hooking up throughout the fall and in October Bash realized he had caught feelings for her and decided to tell her, only he was arrested moments after for 2d degree theft (class c felony) for stealing jewelry from the Whittaker household. He spent two weeks in jail, and found out Ian Whittaker had likely framed him, before Lily helped his sisters bail him out.

He was proven innocent and not guilty in November and the same day Lily admitted she had feelings for him too and they started dating.

Has worked several jobs that he’s lost either because he didn’t show or because he was arrested. Between 2018 and 2020 he worked as a bouncer in a town over but was fired in November 2020 after not showing up when he was out on bail for the Whittaker case.

After being fired he went back to dealing like he'd also done between 2015 and 2018 (that time he got out of it because his sister got him a job at the drive-in that he lost after a few months). Lily, his family, and honestly anyone who would like him not to, are not aware he deals drugs.

His mother died in the spring so during the season he drinks more and gets extra reckless and aggressive so he recently wasn’t very nice to some people........ and him and Lily are fighting a bunch at the moment.

more random shit for no reason so u can skip if u wanna lmao

Suffers with insomnia, probably because of his high alcohol consumption but also anxiety that he won’t really admit to. Went to therapy once after his mother’s death but never continued with it.

The absolute worst at keeping track of his phone and it’s always on silent and either on low battery or just dead. It usually takes him a few days to get back to you if you text or even call. The easiest way to get a hold of him is to visit his apartment and kick on the door or wait for him to get home if he’s not there (u might have to wait a while sometimes tho....).

Has played drums since he was ten years old, starting when he found a drum set in the music room at his Elementary School. At this point he can pretty much play some songs blindfolded. He also started playing guitar at 15.

Has slightly bad eyesight but you will rarely see him in glasses, he wears contacts and usually has an extra pair with him in case he’d lose one. Which he did once when he was drunk and far away from his apartment and had to nagivate home half-blind and tipsy.

Used to skateboard a bunch but hasn’t done it much since some time in College.

Has broken a bunch of bones but most notably his nose 3 times, it’s not as straight as Casey’s.

Likes cooking and is pretty good at it. Pasta is the shit.

His motorcycle is an Indian Scout he bought in 2015 and it’s his baby. Before that he had a Suzuki VS 1400 GL Intruder from 2003 that he got in 2010 and sold to get money for the new one. He’s never owned a car butyes, he knows how to drive one.

He doesn’t dance and if he does, it’s not exactly serious.

Smokes Winston Red 100’s.

Criminal record at the bottom of this page.

Rocks a beard like seen above even though I sometimes use stubble-only gifs.

Despite his unhealthy lifestyle he manages to work out a couple of times a week and he eats.... A lot, because he knows that if he doesn’t he’ll turn into a noodle boy like he was in his teens due to his height.

#i triedmy best to keep this short but oh boy #crescent:intro #intro #this man gives me a such a headache i CANNOT UGH #and i did need to get the trash bash talk off my chest pls get him out of my head lmfaoooo

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britishchick09 · 4 years

Text

spoilery thoughts on raya

the short before the movie (us again) was so sweet!!! ♥♥ the animation was so detailed and i thought it was pixar at first!

and the imax trailer was super cool! (but not as cool as harkins and dolby’s ‘all... around... you’)

the movie jumped into things really fast and that was neat!

the 2d was so cool NOW DISNEY HAS NO EXCUSE TO NOT MAKE A 2D FILM

smol rolling tuk tuk is so cute!

and he was distracted by a bug just like he was as a big guy! :)

chief benja wanting to start out with a joke and raya going ‘please don’t’ was funny :D

also i thought raya fought a statue in the dragon gem place but it was benja and wowza what intricate training!

he said ‘raya, princess of heart’ and i was like ‘RAYA 13TH DISNEY PRINCESS no excuses like moana!’. i could see disney keeping her separate for a bit like moana but she’s definitely going in by 2024!

benja is biden confirmed

during the gathering my dad said something about the music sounding like jimmy kimmel’s band and when benja was shown with a band behind him i was like ‘that’s jimmy’s band!’

my dad went ‘oh no...’ when raya said to namaari ‘come on i have something to show you’ and yep that’s a big ‘oh no’!

also they went from bffs to enemies REAL FAST

they were such cute little lesbeans while it lasted :)

when chief benja was stabbed i was like ‘no you can’t die! you’re turning to stone AND TEMPORARILY DYING LIKE ICE ANNA ‘TIS NOT FATE!!!”

from the beginning i knew he wouldn’t really die come on i’ve seen frozen only a hundred and ten times

tuk tuk is clifford the big red dog confirmed

raya said ‘you’re so easily distracted’ and THE DRUUN ATTACKING A SECOND LATER was a total ‘YEET!’ moment

when raya cried while summoning sisu i was like ‘it’s only been like 20 minutes please don’t cry my poor baby! :(’

when that big blue cloud was forming i laughed a bit :D

i’m glad sisu’s digestion line was cut ....some things just aren’t meant for this world

when raya was describing the past 500 years and it showed all the rulers i thought ‘yep that raya pic is totally becoming a transparent background’

the tail leader protecting part of the gem and dying there was so creepy :o

when namaari said ‘like you’re 12’ and raya going ‘yeah, i was 12 once’ i was like ‘wait she’s 18 wowza!’ :o

also she was so smol for a 12 year old!

my dad and i loved the sparkle fart bugs

AND TUK TUK’S FACE WHEN THEY MASS FARTED WAS SO FUNNY

i didn’t expect a fart joke like that but it was awesome :D

each time raya (and the others later on) used the gem to ward off the druun i thought ‘the power of christ compels you!’ each time yet it slowly morphed into ‘the dragon power compels you!’

boun saying the order was ‘to go ;)’ and the boat barely moving got a laugh out of the audience!

i wasn’t expecting the ‘boun and sisu admitting their families are gone and putting memorial flowers in’ scene but it was so touching! :’)

sisu and credit was so funny!!! :D

i thought the old lady ruler was betty white but i didn’t see her name in the credits so idk

the son of the talon leader WAS A STONER SURFER DUDE lol! :D

noi and the ongis chowing down was so cute!

tuk tuk throwing up... wasn’t :/

also idk when this was but noi burping was funny and it checked all the bodily boxes!

the thin smile raya gives when tong confronts her is definitely a golden screencap

i thought tong was noi’s long lost dad because of the empty crib but then i thought maybe he’d adopt her?

also tong was so lonely! poor guy! :(

when sisu jumped in the air and made little water path things i could totally see the elsa in that (but she doesn’t really look like elsa!’

their meal WAS SO DOMESTIC I LOVED IT!!!!!

they had the together soup from the beginning! there was hope!

sisu bringing raya back to heart felt like big hero 6 when baymax shows hiro the tadashi vid but it wasn’t that technically

sisu’s siblings putting their powers together and sacrificing their lives was very sailor moon-like!

sisu’s plan with namaari was so hilarious I LOVED IT WHEN SHE SAID ‘bffs forever!!!!’

also when she fought her back in spine land i was like ‘YOU MESS WITH SISU AND YOU DIE!!!!’ but then namaari was reflected in sisu’s eyes and she had tears? ‘you mess with sisu and you’re slightly forgiven’

SISU COMMITTED SISUSIDE AND I WAS LIKE ‘NO!!!!’ AND ALSO ‘guessed it’

when raya confronted namaari and shoved the druun aside she was totally thinking ‘piss the frick off’

and when she said ‘NAMAARI! let’s finish this’ i could totally see her saying bish

raya looking at her reflection in the sword gave me big ‘the hero lives long enough to see themselves become the villain’ vibes

the druun swirling around them in the final battle was like guardians of the galaxy

raya’s ‘let me take the first step’ made me think about mattias and his ‘the next right thing’ quote from frozen 2

i expected a sacrifice BUT THEY ALL FLIPPING DIED LIKE WOAH :o

when raya did it i was like ‘omg!’ but then boun did and noi/tong and then i was like ‘namaari saves the day! she did the next right thing!’ BUT THEN SHE DIED TOO AND THERE WAS LITERALLY NO ONE LEFT??? haunting!

i wish they had lingered on the silence a bit longer.... really hit that haunt home!

also was tuk tuk stone too? he was never shown but i assume so

when everything came back i could hear vullie from frozen

that whole scene was very great thaw-like!

I PREDICTED THE ENDING MOSTLY RIGHT YAS!!!!! :D

raya and benja hugging was exactly like how i described it!

when raya said ‘come together’ my only thought was ‘spinal cracker’

raya said something along the lines of ‘kumandra is back’ and it was exactly like my prediction!

this is the first movie where nearly everyone stayed for the end credit scene and there wasn’t one but it was still a great time!

overall this is an amazing movie and i give it a 9.5 out of 10! not too bad to share a score with frozen!

#spoiler alert: raya is an amazing movie and i loved every second of it!

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iguessishouldbethankful · 5 years

Text

Sly Cooper 1 Review:

As in, I recently completed the game and since I was asked to, I will give my review on it. I’m a little nervous because this is the first time I’m doing this, so hopefully I’ll get this right.

KEEP IN MIND: I did not grow up with this series, and I am going in after @oroanillado gifted me the entire series for the PS3. I am a new fan who basically grew up on Nintendo products, so my views might come off differently.

ALSO: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Onto the review.

0. Initial Reaction:::::::::::::::::::::::::

I was pretty surprised how the game collection required no download or installation. So that was a good little bonus as I could immediately sit down and play it without much of a wait. As for the starting point on top of the roof... lemmie say that Sly is adorable at first glance. His movements are fluid and it’s very satisfying to control him--especially the fact that he has a bass sound to his steps that is beyond addictive. I love it.

Not to mention the music is nice. Not exactly as memorable, but I can listen to it and it does give the area a feel.

And then Bentley opened his mouth. Whew boy. Okay. Rok heard my live commentary every time he opened his mouth, so it’ll be a theme. It wasn’t that bad at first though so it’s mostly me wanting to explore the Police Station. It’s mostly a tutorial level so it’s nothing impressive, just giving the feels.

When Carmelita showed up, like expected, I was stunned by two things: she owns an extra fancy taser gun, and that slow as fuck taser gun is able to cause the destruction of public and private property as a massive scale. Ma’am, can we talk? Can you not blow up the cars?? LADY-

As for the comic style animation? Yes, perfect. I was looking forward to it and was not disappointed. I love the cartoony look it gives to the whole world. Which is something else I noticed--the feel and look of the game is very much like the love child of Banjo Kazooie and Psychonauts. The colors and collectathon.

Also the character motivations for Sly, Bentley and Murray are believable. All are orphans, and Sly saw his family get killed but the bad guys and the family book of thieves stolen. Carmelita? Eh, wish I had more context to her but good cop trying to catch the robber is good enough.

Note: I had no idea Carmelita was actually someone that worked for Interpol. My dumbass thought she was just a French cop. The more you know.

As for the hub safehouse area, it’s simple and direct to the point.

Okay. We good? Now onto the levels.

1. Tide of Terror:::::::::::::::::::

Sly dies in one shot.

No. This was okay. I was determined to find out how I could get around this. I explored the initial open area, collecting the coins and trying to get the bottles because I knew that the point of the games was to collect all pages, right? So I needed the bottles to get the clues so Bentley could give me the code. Thing is, I ran into a few problems on the get go. BESIDES SLY BEING A ONE HIT WONDERBOY.

I didn’t know I could pimp whack enemies with the cane. So I see this walrus looking mofo just hammering away on a boat and I’m like... How do I not aggro this dude. Keep to myself, reach areas I new I could jump to, and... OH FUCK THERE ARE BOTTLES ON THAT BOAT GOD DAMN IT! Fine. Let’s sneak in. By sneak I mean run around the walrus and realize that the guy just sees me and hammers harder. What? Okay then he doesn’t chase me. Get the bottles, realize after 5 minutes that Sly’s pimp ass cane can in fact obliterate the ship’s pole to get the last bottle, before trying to confront the walrus.

So I died the first time. Then I smacked him. You know, for a one hit wonder as Sly is, I appreciate that the enemies are the same as well. That balanced everything out and not made it a colorful furry version of Dark Souls. So off I go. Up the ladder and jumping right into the second area where there are search lights. I’m like okay, let me go around these and--

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ROSE BUSH KILLED SLY?!

GOD DAMN IT!!

Yes, a lot of this happened. It has been a while since I played a colorful game like this and I a lot of this is simple designing that is obvious, but I am also someone that enjoys finding other ways to get around them. So many choices in the game seems nonsensical. A raccoon unable to brush by some thorn bushes was rather hilarious. I was basically fussing at full volume while Rok was laughing at me. Which was good, I meant to be hilarious.

I discovered the wonders that were the search lights and that they are easily turned off in the small sections. That I could in fact dodge most attacks from the minor enemy characters. Realized that this damn raccoon cannot swim to save his damn life. LITERALLY.

kjsdbkjsd And then I realized that I was missing quite a few bottles once I got to the end. I was frustrated. I wanted to get them all already. So I went back and tried figuring out how to get them and I SWEAR TO GOD I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT THE SAFE WITHOUT BENTLEY GOING “YOU DON’T HAVE THE BOTTLES NEEDED TO OPEN IT U-”

Bro. Bro I know. Bro please.

Shut the fuck up.

Got the bottles and moved on. Found out that I absolutely adore Sly being in a barrel and wanted to take that barrel with me everywhere but I couldn’t. Realized that Sly puts come paper cuts outs of his emblem in opened up safes and--can we talk about this? Does Sly just sit in his room with colored craft paper and cuts these out every night? Does he redo them if one comes out funky? Does he get glittery paper or is it like the kiddy kind? Does he do them in the van? Is it with scissors or an x-acto knife?! How do you make these bro you don’t simply walk into a FedEx’s Kinkos to print these out!

Anyway, I’m learning more tricks as I go along, getting all of the keys and bottles and I do go back to each stage to get all of the damn bottles because I am not leaving one behind because I really want all of the pages. I am also seeing all of the death animations Sly does and honestly, the humor in each of them is not lost on me at all. I adore them. The first time I saw him just realizing he’s gonna fall to his death and he just-

I busted laughing so hard and Rok got to hear me lmao oh my god-- But for real, most of his death animations are strangely adorable in my opinion. Especially when he just falls and his little leg twitches. They never made animations like that for other games I played so far (not even for Banjo Kazooie). And the lightness of everything makes it less frustration in my opinion. As though I had no problem if Sly died along the way. Whereas I would get way more frustrated with how Mario or Banjo would die.

Anyway those are my tidbits. But lemmie tell you something.Once I got to the last stage where I needed to get the 7 keys to access the final boss? There’s a treasure chest with crabs mini games.

FUCK. THAT. GAME.

The only reason I got through it was because I’m stubborn and I distracted my frustrations in my chat with Rok as I had this damn raccoon swim around in a submarine, killing about 100 crustaceans just for 40 chests!! 40! Not a normal number like 20 or 25. No. 40. That drove me nuts for some reason.

Anyway, finally got to the final boss after I collected all the horseshoes and lives around the main hub of the level, and then yeeted Sly from the canon ALA Wind Waker style.

Raleigh is freaking gross. Not in voice, but his animation made me feel really nasty with looking at him, which in my opinion was a good visual design and motivator to get rid of him faster. It was also easy to sort of find out what the boss fight was requiring from me in the end--making it so much easier as well. I guess for a kid it’s a bit more difficult and I can understand that. I just enjoyed the fights for having a repetitive nature that was satisfying. Like even if I died many times, the game didn’t throw me all the way out of the level at all. It restarted the fight from the beginning and that, to me, was a good way to introduce me to the entire function of a Sly Cooper 1 boss fight.

I felt happy when I defeated Raleigh. And of course, Sly isn’t a “killer” so froggo dude is still alive, just in prison after “HOT LATIN FOX LADY” caught him. Of course. Can someone tell me where Carmelita is from? Is she Spanish or Mexican or..? Like was that defined by the games or was it thrown up in the air?

Anyway, onto the next level.

2. Sunset Snake Eyes:::::::::::::::::::::

Lemmie just say that I actually enjoyed Mugshot’s backstory? It made me feel really sympathetic towards him in a way.... Despite him being a murderer but you know. It was a nice touch.

Okay so, are any of you familiar with the whole “Mickey Mouse is taking his dog Pluto for a walk” dilemma? Well, I had a moment like that as well in this section. Why? Because Mugshot has feral dogs all over his turf and that messes me up a lot for some reason. Like I always wondered how, evolutionary wise, can an anthro dog and a feral dog look so similar? I had a moment like that as well when reading Farewell, Beloved Falco. There was a feral pig in that comic and it bother the fuck out of me. But it didn’t impede me from playing the game.

The look was very much classical American desert wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Possibly southwest USA if I were to guess, and I liked the feel of the casinos and run down RVs, trailers and cars. However it made me question why this place was a junkyard almost if he kinda has a functioning casino. For Raleigh I could understand because it was a hideout, you do what you can right? Even if you have a fucking floating metal blimp over your hideout, like that won’t catch military attention at all, nooooooo--

But like, an abandoned casino suggests that it was once owned by the mafia or a mob, and just--Okay. Police regulations and gun control. Etc etc, I’m rambling on about things that have nothing to do with the game. Back to the design.

Again, collecting all the bottles like a desperate AA member that needs a hit for old times sake and running back to open up the safe. Can I just say that the names of each Cooper ancestor is rather amusing? Like some have the most dumb but adorable names. Huckleberry Cooper jfc--

And once I got into the main hub, I got my first taste of the “Murray can’t think without his stomach thus gets himself in trouble and needs to race his Moon Rover turned into a Van to win one of the keys” mini game and “Bentley told me I gotta keep you alive as you run through this area full of trigger happy criminals, Murray, plEASE STOP RUNNING IN FRONT OF MY BULLETS MURRAY-” mini game. Nice. Not as bad as the 40 treasure chests crabs.

Also, why would Mugshot or his minions just leave a red sports car running on reverse for days on end?? Anyway.

The inside of the casino was a nice section to play ngl. I enjoyed that a lot. The platforming too, despite some of the bottles being utterly difficult to get without having to die and do the entire section again to get them. And then comes the level when Carmelita decides to destroy private property because she’s after this dumbass raccoon. I wonder how she felt seeing him jump around back and forth breaking bottles and dodging her SLOW AS FUCK TASER GUN.

“Could you stand still?!”

“Nope. Not my fault you couldn’t get a license for a firearm.”

Finally I got to the Mugshot boss fight and like the first one, it was a very satisfying fight. Mugshot had me in stitches because he walked around with his long ass arms instead of his legs at first like lmao! Also once I got to the final third stage, I was all cautious and excite to jump around the wires. Yessss.

Defeated, all bottles collected, Carmelita caught this villain as well, and off we go... stealing shit from the USA before coming back to the Safehouse? Alrighty then.

3. Vicious Voodoo:::::::::::::::

Let me tell you something about myself. I have an intense love for Voodoo in video games. Started with Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Father, Princess and the Frog and I had an intense call back to one of the swamp areas of Banjo Kazooie in this level.

So basically, this is my favorite level.

I think it’s also the level where I argued the most with Bentley as well. Or at least the second one because, since the very first game, he keeps repeating the same obvious commands all the time with a constant reminder of press the O button. Sly? Sly?? SLY! PRESS THE O BUTTON! Bentley? You’re cute, but you gotta stop my dude.

The sliding effect on the long branches was a lot of fun, the tree enemies that had more than one hit kills were also satisfying to beat the shit out of. I also enjoyed the general murky color of the level in general. Just the spooky was definitely my aesthetic. You know what wasn’t my aesthetic? The first mini game I ran into, which was the candle mini game where Bentley would repeat himself all the time right at the start of if you had to restart the level. I muted the entire thing and had Sly mindlessly killing the fishes to turn on the candles while blabbing to Rok on the phone so it was easier for me not to get nervous about the time limit or the amount of candles I had to turn on. It was the same thing with the Chicken Gumbo mini game, but I didn’t mute that one. Because Bentley stayed quiet.

Also, @oroanillado is the biggest troll. I was on the beast section of the game and they did not describe to me what it was like. So I’m honestly not expecting much at all, just wanted to grab my bottles and go. Once I’m halfway though, and I already saw the water moving around I’m having Amnesia the Dark Descent flashbacks like OH SHIT OH FUK O Shi- But no. No. What got to me was... This intensely huge serpent coming out of the water and chasing me and my camera kept pointing BACK instead of pointing forward so I could navigate Sly out of that mess while also getting the fucking bottles along the way!!

I was shrieking!! I have an acute fear of things that are larger than normal (it’s connected to my Agoraphobia). I have that with whales and sharks and fish, so I usually avoid big mobs if possible in any game. Yes, including the 3 mythical dragons from Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. @thekursedone-lylat was present when I was freaking out about saving Naydra and how huge it was. But at the same time I have a big fear of these sorts of creatures, I was laughing and cursing at the end of the level because honestly, Rok was having a good time and so was I.

Oh yes, also the other mini game where I had to navigate the same speed boat thingy and shoot down the on coming ghosts and flaming rocks was pretty annoying until I figured out I needed to destroy the pillars where the ghosts came from. Then it was easy.

But my absolute favorite section of this whole level was the Green Water Full of Body Parts and Bones. Bentley was losing his shit at the beginning of the level and I would accidentally yeet Sly into the water of decomposing bodies like yeah, yeah the turtle won’t like the smell of this. It was just a well designed level, so I had no problems having to redo it to get all the bottles again and again.

Now, the boss fight? I was warned about this ahead of time so I had to unfortunately put Mz. Ruby on mute so I would concentrate on her attacks but apparently they were supposed to go with the rhythm of the song and the Sly Cooper Collection messed that up? I think she was the only Boss I was really wanting to listen to as she talked because she was giving me good “yeah I’m bad, probably not the best one in the group, but I don’t care I’mma own up to it so try to dodge my attacks as best you can” vibes. It was also entertaining to see Sly go Neo with some of the commands.

All bottles collected and onto Winter in China.

4. Fire in the Sky::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Oh hey look, fireworks!

.....oh.

Surprisingly, this entire stage was rather meh to me? It worked like the others, felt like the others, but I really wasn’t as wowed by it. It might also be just the fact that I mostly saw white in general due to the snow, and spent most of my time looking for a few bottles on one section that really irritated me. Like I legitimately got mad in one section and didn’t want to deal with it because of the noises some of the monkeys were making.

This section. I hated it so much because I thought the bottles I was missing were in here and 2 of them were but I needed hints for it. Argh... Everything else in this section was pretty much a blur for me besides the two mini games with Murray, and the one level where Carmlita came back again, destroying more private and ancient property with her taser gun--and the main reason I remember this was because:

Carmelita saying she was going to catch criminal scum Sly and Sly just went “you really need to get woke, I’m not the bad guy here.”

I collected all the bottles but Bentley told me I had to defeat Clockwerk before I could open this damn safe, and it was the only one requiring this!!

Carmelita went down with the dragon statue, into the hypothermia levels of cold water while shaking her fist into the sky.

I will say the part of Sly and Bentley discussing the whole mechanics of Sly taking the rockets into Panda’s lair was pretty funny tho. Just,

Bentley: Hey you might be able to reach the top of the tower before these explode.

Sly: Okay but what if they explode before I get there?

Bentley: Then I guess you’ll blow up into many pieces.

Sly:

As for the Panda King boss fight, it was okay. I just kept running in circles around the arena while approaching the dude. Defeated him and was like okay, I really need to go and defeat Clockwerk now so I can open that safe.

5. The Cold Heart of Hate:::::::::::::::::::

Look.

I get Sly probably weighs next to nothing, Murray, but could you at least break once Sly gets knocked off the top of the van? Or when the rocks are falling down towards us, maybe also step on the breaks so not everyone is being driven to their ultimate death?

No?

Okay.

I will say, I headcanon that both Bentley and Sly were getting an intense case of whiplash when Murray was driving that van around at 120 MPH collecting all 60 computers because... Bentley needed those to hack into something??? It wasn’t as bad as the 40 crabs and treasure chests but man. And then of course there’s the section where, oh surprise surprise, Carmelita is in an obvious trap, slamming her fist on the glass, needing to be saved. Bentley warned Sly it was a trap. But of course Sly is like:

OH THANK GOD THE BARREL IS BACK.

Anyway, obvious trap is an obvious trap. Carm just bitches at Sly right as he gets stuck in the glass chamber and is sprayed with RAID. So Bentley has to save his ass. This is possibly the mini game I dislike the most. I just put Bentley on constantly circling mode as he shot down the targets.I died about 9000 times before I won.

Carmen is all Oh I was wrong about you the whole time Sly!

Sly: Duh.

And off we go to the next section where Sly lost his cane and he needs to recover it with Carm’s help. So I’m controlling Carm’s taser gun. Guess how many times I purposefully killed Sly? Many. For funsies. Because the gun magically got faster once I was behind the trigger.

Next section was the whole climb up the beam tower as it’s being consumed by lava! I very much enjoyed this whole climbing bit. It was fun. Again, died a lot and I actually glitched through the walls because I jumped somewhere I wasn’t supposed to and had to kill Sly along the way. But still very fun.

FINALLY.

CLOCKWERK.

Are we serious? Are we actually serious right now? Clockwerk had absolutely no motivation beyond ultimate hate? WHAT?! That’s just... not a satisfying reason ngl. Anyway, the jetpack flying section was probably the easiest thing ever and I loved it. What I didn’t like was the laser section that came after it... I kept dying. Again. FUCK. THOSE. LASERS.

Clockwerk speaking random little words while malfunctioning was super cute those. I don’t why, but I loved it. I was shrieking by the end of everything though because once I got right at the back end, where I’m supposed to jump on this mad owl, I was not expecting the head to jump on me. HHHHHHH!!!

Anyway, I killed Clockwerk dead. Back into the lava you go. Witnessed Sly give Carmelita the slip of the tongue and handcuffed her onto a railing over an active volcano before yeeting himself. Classy. Then back to his old tricks again with the gang. End credits.

NO WAIT.

The last chest. In the Panda section. Yeah I went back for that and got the extra ending.

0. MY RATING::::::::::::::::::::

Honestly, 8 trashcans out of 10. If Clockwerk actually had a believable motive besides hate, I’d give it a higher rating. But the game is satisfying and I love the mechanics of it.

Bentley just needs to chill the fuck up tho. God.

#sly cooper #sly cooper reviews #peep peep #long post

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none-of-your-biscuits · 4 years

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Rose-Chip AU part

- Back with Juleka, as she's stuck in the comedically large but just too small cage she can't slip out of

-Rose is just kinda chilling in the cage across the room as they listen to Mr. Villain monologue like he's in a subpar superhero movie

-"MY REVENGE WILL BE SWIFT AND-"We get it shut up already"

-Rose has been stuck here awhile and has stopped being scared and just more annoyed

-Meanwhile Juleka is a little ball of anxiety

-She's only been here for a few days and is already going crazy

-She's gotten pretty much no sleep for 4 days because between the stress and the fact she's used to the gentle swaying of the boat, yeah

-Anyway, back with Rose-Chip

-Or as I like to call her, RC or R-C

-The point that pounded the fact she wasn't actually Rose into the ground is that she didn't remember Juleka's Photo Curse

-For missing memories she had to guess and she guessed wrong

-So, Lady and Chat interrogates her on where the villain is

-Lady (very smartly, I might add) calls Luka Viperion

-Who's absolutely pissed by the way

-Like he's usually so chill but like, big head canon that all the Couffaines are pretty chill until you piss em off

-Then they feed you to the shark under the boat yell at you in Gaelic until you highly regret whatever you did

-(Chat actually dies three times in the coming battle but nobody needs to know that)

-Mr. Villain is a genius

-He only started in biotech to help his mom out of her coma (cough remind you of someone Adrien cough) and failed

-So he gave up on trying to be the nice guy and decides he'd rather rule the world (like a dumbass)

-Lady's lucky charm was a Frisbee

-Literally just the plastic kind you buy at a dollar store

-She immediately yeeted (yote?) It into the mainframe control and broke everything in the lab, which shut down the half robotic body Mr. Villain was currently using

-Yeah he's dead

-Mari lives like that now

-It's pretty traumatic

-So in a twist of events one of my ideas end on a somewhat happy note, Rose gets to go home, Anarka doesn't let Juleka out of her sight if she can help it for a month, Mari is kinda traumatized R-C is stuck in a lab being tested like she isn't sentient (which she is, jackass doctors) Julerose gets there happy ending kiss, all is (not so) well

@achigginnugger

#achigginnugger #'s au #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #rose x juleka #ml #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #adrien #part 2 my dudes

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c0untb00z · 5 years

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I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

#vampire #dracula #dracula2020 #bbc dracula #bbc dracula 2020 #3 am essays cause im pissed #dracula bram stoker #bram stoker #draculaxreader apparnetly

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kurogabae · 5 years

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TSUBASA: TRAINWRECK CHRONICLES

And Why Bee Train Are Officially Being Labeled, By Me, As The Boomers Of Animation

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4

[Slim Shady’s “Guess Who’s Back” plays in the distance, muffled but threatening]

Look, I know I usually have something to say at the start of these, but honestly? Let’s just go because we’re starting knee-deep in some bullshit.

Tsarastora (yes... fucking AGAIN):

Well, it didn’t take long for us to return to the land of the walking Not Dead Anymore. Rumor has it that Bee Train was ordered to retcon the S1 finale immediately because who do you think you are to break one of CLAMP’s cardinal rules like that?!? But I’ve never seen any proof of exactly what went down about this plot. But I’m forced to believe Ohkawa materialized behind the director one day and threatened to eat his spine or some shit.

Anyway. We’re here. Again. And for some reason this is where they decide to have Sakura give Yuuko her White Day gift? Instead of in Piffle? Where she made it? With Tomoyo?

Stop stealing my moments Bee Train. It’s like you’re the crew who edited CCS for America back in the day and tried to market it towards boys so you pushed Syaoran as the main character and tried to remove all romance. Let Sakura have friends! Let her interact with people and have a story! LET HER BE BI!!!

So Yuuko has a dress and Fai makes a joke about being in heaven because the place is so pretty and Kurogane says not to, quote, “say such unlucky things” and it’s moments like this that make you wonder if they Knew and just didn’t care about Fai’s past or if they really were just as in the dark as the rest of us. I flip flop a lot between the two.

Either way, now the dads are talking about the kids and how brave Syaoran is (why the bullshit in Piffle prompted this I do not know but whatever I guess?) and basically just about how badly they want them to succeed but without just saying it. Meanwhile Sakura is telling Syaoran about her latest memory and I could not for the life of me tell you which one it was and I refuse to go check. The important thing here is that the lazy animation trick that has given Mokona the power of flight is back and she’s hovering around the gang now. Not sitting on shoulders or anything. Just... flying around like she’s Kero. This is fine. I guess.

And then, after what has to be like a solid half hour of just dicking around Mokona Very Suddenly senses a feather. Why so suddenly? Because they wanted to get everything else out of the way first and it was convenient. No other reason. The feather isn’t moving. Neither are they really. She just decides to turn her sensors on now? IDK. Maybe she needs a tune up.

They find the feather not far away just casually sitting inside a rock and everyone but Kurogane is like “Yay! Easy find! Go us!” because apparently no one can learn anything in this anime about what those fucking feathers do. Spoilers: it’s not a rock, it’s a dragon.

[Kurogane voice]: kin

The dragon fucks off and here we come to a Thing. Now, Kurogane is ready to slaughter this thing and wear its bones basically. He is Ready to Fight in a real way. I found that odd and really didn’t care for it. In Hanshin he seems in awe of Celes when it appears to him and even though it’s mostly fanon that Kurogane respects and likes dragons that makes sense. His family’s guardian was a dragon, his sword was modeled after a dragon. His whole motif is dragons! Why is he so ready to kill this one? Does it not count if it’s not a Nihon dragon? Does only Ginryuu get respect? It just feels bad???

But none of that matters because guess what! Dragon shaped as it might be, the thing is a demon? At least, that’s what they’re calling it. Sometimes. Fai says demon, Syaoran says dragon. They don’t.... agree on the term? Shut up. It’s a dragon.

So they soon realize that they are back in Should Be Very Dead-ville and oh no everyone is going to die again unless we get this OTHER feather because if one feather can buy us a month of living surely one more will fix our deaths forever right? ....right? (On a side note; Fai makes a comment about how weird it is that two feathers fell in the same world while he’s from Celes and knows damn well he found two and is unaware of a third!!!)

Either way the family is gonna help because, you know. Feather. If memory serves, the dragon is hiding in a lake, so what does Kurogane (who is now in charge because of course) have them do? They set the lake on fucking fire. And it delights him. It do not, however, delight the dragon, who, understandably, goes apeshit. Luckily, no one dies and they just hack off the horn that the feather was stuck in. And then they... take it to God again because wow they really do think this will work. Sakura, honey, I know how sweet you are but it only got them one month last time. What good will this do?

The answer is no good!

God basically tells them it’s tough tits, the month long visitation was all they could manage and no matter how many super powered magic bird parts they bring the dead are dead and that’s that. Which sucks for those villagers but haha, bummer for FAi to have to hear. Again. After watching Sakura wish someone to life with a mere piece of her soul. Again. Wonder how that felt. (Short post about Kurogane and Fai’s possible feelings here.)

So to end the episode, Sakura gets her feather back and then the family leaves town but sticks around on the outskirts to watch everyone fucking die again like some sick ass fuckers!!!

I’m not even going to talk about the stupid memory she gets with papa!Clow and learning about how death is a Thing via her dead pet bunny. It happens. It’s inorganic. I hate it. Shut up Clow.

The episode is over and I’ll leave you with this to heal your souls.

I am a simple woman.

Portoria:

WE’RE ON A BOAT MOTHA FUCKER!

If you’re too young to recognize that joke, click the link for... an experience. Wear headphones. Everyone else, please join me in this not-a-Wind-Waker-AU.

We’re gonna skip all of my bad sailor jokes and focus for a minute on Kurogane’s Sinbad cosplay here because yes good hello I am easily distracted.

Anyway, the captain is this world’s version of Koryo’s shitty Ryanban and Kurogane and Fai have a moment to wax philosophical about whether or not souls are inherently good or evil, which is fine and I would hardly mention if, while they were doing this, the “camera” wasn’t stood still on an image of Syaoran and Sakura just... smiling at each other while the dads spoke. Like the kids aren’t even doing anything, they’re just smiling. It’s weird. It’s also almost like accidental foreshadowing because HAHA THOSE ARE CLONES! But I’m not gonna go into it for the sake of this joke.

On the ship everyone has to work, Kurogane is terrorizing his new shipmates into compliance under his leadership, Fai and Sakura are cooking fish, and Syaoran is in the engine room with a child version of Fujitaka AKA his father. Understandably, Syaoran is Feeling Emotions, not that the animation is any indicator of this. He also calls a ten year old daddy so things are going great.

Now yes, Syaoran must miss his father terribly, not only has he been dead for who knows how long exactly (anywhere upwards of 5 years possibly) but Syaoran is far from home without any pictures or familiarity to remind him of Fujitaka, and now he’s got some savant elementary schooler who is an AU version of his dad basically sharing his deepest hopes and dreams. It’s a weird episode. Oh, and there is no feather, but Mokona is sweet as can be and stays so Syaoran can get to know this version of Fujitaka. Which honestly seems more like a punishment than anything to me, but hey.

Also, there’s a sea monster. And a haunted island. And something that sounds suspiciously like Piedmon from Digimon.

Syaoran and Fujitaka get stranded on the island after getting yeeted overboard and the captain telling the rest of the family that his ancestors forbid people from going to the island is enough to stop a rescue mission? Like. Kurogane AND Sakura are sitting there, letting nothing happen. This is fine. Everything is fine.

And it kinda is because the island if filled with old shit and Syaoran is geeking out like a kid surrounded by his special interest would be expected to.

In the end, the creepy laughter was wind, the island isn’t haunted, the family tries to row out to save Syaoran and a sea monster is on screen for all of 30 seconds. This episode was boring. Dull. It wasn’t even particularly angsty because Bee Train has no concept of emotional DEPTH!! Their expressions and emotions are as flat as Fai’s ass and as dry as Clow’s deserts. This could have been a very moving and fascinating filler episode, but Bee Train remains in capable of doing ANYTHING AT ALL EVER! I’m bored. This is boring.

At least Sakura looked cute in her little sailor outfit.

The next episode is “A Date With a Wizard” and that shitshow is getting its own post. Peace.

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4

#my meta #tsubasa trainwreck chronicles #TRC #tsubasa chronicle #CLAMP #i am filled with an undying and unrestrained hate for all things

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