#the one time i connect with a story like this

[astrxq]

Soulbound Flames

jacaerys velaryon x reader

words: 15.7k

notes: based on this request!

In the shadowed corners of Westeros, where the ancient blood of Old Valyria still held sway, stories of soulmates and dragon bonds had long been whispered but seldom believed. These tales, passed down through generations like precious heirlooms, spoke of a connection so profound that it transcended the already miraculous bond between dragon and rider. It was said that in those ancient times, a dragon could sense the one person who was destined for their rider – a rare and almost mystical connection, deeper and more profound than anything known to the world of men.

But those days were long past, faded into the mists of time and legend. Few alive still entertained such tales, dismissing them as fantastical relics of a bygone era. Now, these stories were spoken of only in quiet corners, among the old and the hopeful, or in the halls of Rhaenyra's court, where intrigue thrummed like a low, constant hum beneath the surface of daily life.

You were no stranger to these whispered legends, though you had never expected to find yourself at the heart of one. The very notion seemed absurd, a flight of fancy better suited to the dreams of children than the harsh realities of life in the Seven Kingdoms. 

You had grown up in the court of Princess Rhaenyra, a place where politics and power wove through every interaction like golden threads in a tapestry. Your father, a man of keen intellect and unwavering loyalty, had been a member of her council for as long as you could remember. He was deeply entrenched in the delicate dance of alliances and loyalties that made up the backbone of the court, a world you observed with careful, curious eyes from the sidelines.

As his daughter, you were afforded a certain standing -- a place close enough to power to be seen, but far enough that you could move quietly, observing the world around you with a perspective few others shared. It was a unique position, one that allowed you to see both the glittering facade of court life and the complex machinery that lay beneath.

It was there, within the imposing stone walls of the castle, that you first met Jacaerys Velaryon. The memory of that initial encounter was etched clearly in your mind, a moment that would prove to be more significant than you could have possibly imagined at the time.

The prince had been little more than a boy when you first encountered him, his face still soft with the roundness of youth. At one and ten, he was caught in that peculiar stage between childhood and adolescence, his body growing faster than his confidence could keep up. And yet, even then, there was something about Jacaerys that set him apart from the other children of the court.

It wasn't his lineage, impressive though it was. Nor was it the way the adults seemed to watch him with a mixture of hope and expectation, as if already envisioning the man he would become. No, what struck you most about Jacaerys was the intensity in his dark eyes, a depth of feeling and thought that seemed at odds with his youthful appearance. Those eyes, you would come to learn, could convey volumes without a single word being spoken.

Your first meeting had been unremarkable by most standards -- a chance encounter in one of the castle's many winding corridors. You had been hurrying back to your chambers, arms laden with books from the library, when you quite literally ran into the young prince. The collision sent your carefully balanced stack of tomes tumbling to the floor, the sound of their impact echoing off the stone walls.

"I'm so sorry!" Jacaerys had exclaimed, immediately dropping to his knees to help gather the scattered books. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

You had been prepared to be annoyed, perhaps even a little indignant at the interruption. But as you knelt beside him, reaching for a particularly ornate volume on herbal remedies, you caught sight of his face. The genuine concern in his expression, coupled with the slight flush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks, immediately softened your mood.

"It's alright," you had assured him, offering a small smile. "No harm done."

Jacaerys had returned your smile then, a tentative quirk of his lips that seemed to light up his entire face. As he handed you the last of the fallen books, your fingers had brushed against his, and for the briefest of moments, you felt a strange tingling sensation, as if a spark had passed between you.

"You like to read?" he had asked, eyeing the impressive stack of books with curiosity.

You nodded, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious about your literary choices. "I do. These are mostly about herbs and their medicinal properties. My father says it's important to understand the healing arts."

Jacaerys' eyes had widened with interest. "That sounds fascinating. I've been trying to learn more about dragon lore myself, but the maester says I need to focus on my history lessons first."

The conversation flowed easily from there, both of you discovering a shared love of learning and a curiosity about the world around you. By the time you parted ways, a seed of friendship had been planted, one that would grow and flourish in the years to come.

The whispers about you and Jacaerys had started early, though at first, you paid them little mind. They were nothing more than the idle gossip of the court, after all -- soft-spoken observations about how often you and the young prince seemed to find yourselves in each other's company.

The women of the court, always eager for a new story to dissect and discuss, had their theories. Some said it was nothing more than the innocent friendship of children, a natural camaraderie born of proximity and shared interests. Others, however, hinted at something deeper, more magical. They spoke in hushed tones of the way Jacaerys' dragon, Vermax, seemed unusually interested in you, even from a young age.

"Have you noticed," they would whisper behind ornate fans and goblets of wine, "how the prince's dragon watches her? It's not natural, the way those golden eyes follow her every move."

"Perhaps," another would reply, voice lowered conspiratorially, "there's truth to the old tales after all. Dragons and soulmates, imagine that!"

But you had never paid the rumors much mind. After all, they were just stories, weren't they? Fanciful tales spun by bored courtiers looking for entertainment. You and Jacaerys were friends, nothing more. The notion that there could be anything magical or predestined about your relationship seemed laughable.

And yet, as the years passed, you couldn't help but notice the way Vermax's gaze seemed to linger on you, those intelligent eyes watching with an intensity that was both unnerving and oddly comforting. There were times when you could have sworn the dragon understood more than he let on, as if he were privy to some great secret that eluded both you and Jacaerys.

You and Jacaerys had grown up together in the court, your paths crossing often in the gardens or the corridors of Dragonstone. He had always been kind to you, though shy in his attentions. There was a gentleness to Jacaerys that set him apart from many of the other young nobles, a thoughtfulness that manifested in small, considerate gestures.

You, in turn, had found a quiet comfort in his presence. There was a simplicity to your relationship in those early days, a kind of unspoken understanding that neither of you felt the need to question. You could sit together in comfortable silence for hours, each absorbed in your own pursuits, or engage in spirited debates about everything from the properties of various herbs to the intricacies of dragon anatomy.

But as the years passed, that simplicity began to shift, evolving into something more complex, more charged with potential. The easy camaraderie of childhood gave way to a deeper connection, one tinged with an awareness that neither of you quite knew how to navigate.

Your childhood with Jacaerys had been marked by small, innocent moments that, in retrospect, held far more significance than you had realized at the time. Days spent in the castle gardens became treasured memories, each one a building block in the foundation of your relationship.

You had always been drawn to the quiet magic of the natural world, finding solace and purpose among the neat rows of herbs and flowers. It was there, surrounded by the heady scent of lavender and rosemary, that you felt most at peace. And it was there that you often found yourself in Jacaerys' company, sharing your knowledge and passion with the curious prince.

One particular memory stood out vividly in your mind -- a warm summer afternoon when you were both on the cusp of adolescence. You had been gathering herbs with a care that belied your age, your fingers moving deftly among the fragrant leaves and stems. Jacaerys had watched you work, his dark eyes bright with curiosity.

"Here," you had said, offering him a carefully arranged bundle of lavender and rosemary. "For you."

Jacaerys had accepted your gift with a puzzled smile, turning the herbs over in his hands as if trying to decipher some hidden meaning. "I don't understand," he had said, his voice tinged with a mixture of amusement and genuine confusion. "Why do you always give me these?"

You had shrugged, your hands covered in the rich scent of the earth. "They're for protection," you explained, recalling the lessons your mother had taught you long ago. "My mother used to say that rosemary wards off evil. And lavender helps with sleep and calming the mind."

Jacaerys had laughed then, though not unkindly. His eyes had sparkled with mirth as he asked, "And you think I need more courage?"

"It couldn't hurt," you had replied with a grin, pleased to see the way his face lit up with amusement. "Besides, everyone could use a little extra protection, even princes."

There had been something about that moment -- something in the way his laughter had faded into a quiet, thoughtful smile -- that stayed with you long after. Even then, you had sensed the way his feelings for you were beginning to shift, though neither of you were old enough to truly understand what that meant.

What you didn't know then, and wouldn't discover until years later, was that Jacaerys had kept every bundle of herbs you had given him. He had hidden them away in a small, ornate box beneath his bed, a secret treasure trove of memories. Though their scents had long faded, their meaning lingered, a tangible reminder of the bond you shared.

As you both grew older, the innocent exchanges of childhood gave way to something more nuanced, charged with an energy neither of you quite understood. You began to notice the way Jacaerys' eyes lingered on you a little too long, the way he seemed to find excuses to be near you.

There were times when he would reach out, his fingers brushing against yours as he helped you plant a new seedling, and you would feel a spark of electricity pass between you. It was a connection that defied explanation, a current of energy that seemed to flow between you, dragon, and rider.

And always, always, there was Vermax. The prince's dragon had been a constant presence in Jacaerys' life since he was no more than an egg. The bond between them was instantaneous and profound, as it was with all dragonriders. But there had always been something unique about Vermax, a keen intelligence that seemed to go beyond even the considerable intellect of his kind.

From a young age, the dragon had been fiercely protective of Jacaerys, following him with a loyalty that seemed almost human in its depth. But as the years passed, you began to realize that Vermax's interest in you was not entirely normal.

At first, it had seemed like little more than curiosity. Dragons were intelligent creatures, after all, and it wasn't unusual for them to take an interest in the people around their riders. But Vermax's attention had gone beyond that. There were moments when you would feel the weight of his gaze on you, heavy and expectant, as though he were waiting for something.

It was unsettling at times, though never frightening. In fact, there was a strange sense of comfort in the dragon's presence, as though he were watching over you just as much as he was watching over Jacaerys. It was a dynamic that you couldn't quite explain, but one that felt inexplicably right.

As you and Jacaerys entered your early teenage years, the dynamics of your relationship began to shift in subtle but unmistakable ways. The easy camaraderie of childhood gave way to a more complex interplay of emotions, fraught with the uncertainty and excitement of first love.

You found yourself hyper-aware of Jacaerys' presence, your heart quickening whenever he entered a room. The sound of his laughter, once simply pleasant, now sent shivers down your spine. You caught yourself watching him when you thought he wasn't looking, admiring the way he had begun to grow into his lanky frame, the way his jawline had sharpened and his shoulders broadened.

Jacaerys, for his part, seemed equally affected by the change in your relationship. His usual confidence would falter when you were near, his words becoming tangled as he struggled to maintain the easy conversation you had once shared. You noticed the way his eyes would follow you across a room, lingering on the curve of your neck or the sway of your skirts.

The whispers in the halls continued, handmaids and courtiers alike softly mumbling about the prince's obvious crush. You tried to ignore them, and you liked to think Jacaerys did too, but their words planted seeds of possibility in your mind that you couldn't quite shake.

One particularly memorable afternoon, you had been tending to the castle gardens, carefully snipping away at the overgrown tendrils of ivy that threatened to choke out the more delicate plants. You were lost in thought, your mind wandering as your hands worked automatically, when Jacaerys joined you.

You heard him before you saw him, his footsteps crunching softly on the gravel path. "You're going to turn this place into a jungle," he teased, his voice carrying a warmth that made your heart skip a beat.

Looking up, you saw him leaning against a stone pillar, watching you with an amused expression. His hair was tousled, likely from the wind, and you noticed a wooden practice sword at his side. He'd been training with his younger brother Lucerys, you realized, a fact that explained the slight sheen of sweat on his brow and the healthy flush in his cheeks.

You felt a smear of dirt on your own cheek and resisted the urge to wipe it away, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. Instead, you straightened up, brushing your hands on your apron. "I happen to think that a bit of wildness adds character," you replied, unable to keep a smile from tugging at your lips.

Jacaerys raised an eyebrow, his own smile widening. "Character, or chaos?" he asked, pushing off from the pillar and moving closer.

"Chaos, definitely," you admitted with a laugh. "But it's the good kind of chaos. The kind that reminds us that not everything needs to be perfectly manicured and controlled."

He nodded, his eyes scanning the garden with newfound appreciation. "I suppose I can't argue with that. As long as you promise not to let the roses take over the entire castle."

You hummed in agreement, though you both knew you had no real intention of reining in the roses anytime soon. Their wild beauty was part of what made the garden so special, after all.

Jacaerys moved to kneel by your side, his hands mimicking yours as he began to help with the pruning. You worked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only sounds the snip of shears and the distant call of birds.

"How was training?" you asked eventually, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.

He shrugged, a wry smile playing on his lips. "Lucerys is getting better. He almost managed to disarm me today."

You couldn't help but chuckle at the mix of pride and mild indignation in his voice. "I'm sure you'll always be able to best him in something," you teased. "If not swordplay, then perhaps in your ability to brood dramatically while staring off into the distance."

Jacaerys let out a bark of laughter, nudging you playfully with his shoulder. "I do not brood," he protested, though his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Oh, but you do," you insisted, your voice taking on a mock-serious tone. "It's quite impressive, really. Very princely."

He playfully glared at you, moving to mirror your position and watch as you threaded the herbs in your hands. Jacaerys spoke of the latest lessons he'd been struggling with, his brow furrowing slightly as he recounted a particularly challenging session with the castle's maester. 

"Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever truly understand all the intricacies of statecraft," he confessed, his voice lowering as if sharing a secret. "There's so much to remember, so many nuances to consider."

You paused in your pruning, turning to face him fully. The vulnerability in his admission touched something deep within you. It was rare for Jacaerys to express doubt, especially about matters related to his future role. "You will," you assured him, your voice soft but firm. "You have a good heart, Jace. That's more important than memorizing every law and precedent."

His eyes met yours, a mixture of gratitude and something deeper, more intense, swirling in their depths. "You always know what to say," he murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

The air between you seemed to thicken, charged with an energy that made your heart race. You were acutely aware of how close you were sitting, of the way the afternoon sun caught the highlights in Jacaerys' hair, of the slight quickening of his breath. You cleared your throat, hoping to hide your fluster. 

Suddenly, a mischievous glint appeared in Jacaerys' eyes, breaking the tension of the moment. He reached over and plucked a small, vibrant flower from a nearby bush. With exaggerated ceremony, he tucked it behind your ear, his fingers lingering for just a moment longer than necessary.

"There," he said, his voice soft. "Now you look like a true spirit of the garden."

You felt a warmth creep into your cheeks, your heart fluttering at the gentle gesture. "Thank you," you murmured, reaching up to touch the delicate petals. "Though I'm not sure I can compete with the actual flowers."

Jacaerys' gaze softened, his eyes never leaving yours. "I think you outshine them all," he said, his words barely above a whisper.

You found yourself leaning in slightly, drawn by the intensity of his gaze. For a moment, it felt as though the rest of the world had faded away, leaving only the two of you in this secluded corner of the garden.

But before either of you could act on the moment, a distant call broke the spell. One of the castle guards was approaching, likely with a message for the prince.

Jacaerys sighed, reluctantly stepping back. "Duty calls, it seems," he said, a note of regret in his voice. "But... perhaps we could continue this later?"

You nodded, trying to ignore the way your heart was still racing. "I'd like that," you replied, offering him a small smile.

As Jacaerys turned to leave, he cast one last glance over his shoulder, his eyes lingering on the flower in your hair. The moment may have passed, but the promise of more hung in the air between you, sweet and full of possibility.

The days that followed your encounter in the garden seemed to pass in a haze of stolen glances and lingering touches. Every interaction with Jacaerys now carried an undercurrent of anticipation, as if you were both waiting for something to happen, though neither of you quite knew what.

You found yourself seeking out his company more often, your steps unconsciously leading you to the places you knew he frequented. The library, where he would often be found poring over ancient tomes of dragon lore. The training yard, where you would watch from afar as he honed his skills with sword and shield. And always, always, the gardens, where you both seemed to find a sense of peace amidst the chaos of court life.

The day you felt a shift in your heart, Jacaerys had invited you to join him in the open fields near the Dragonpit. The sun was high in the sky, casting a warm, golden light over the landscape. Vermax, ever watchful, was sprawled lazily on the grass, his massive wings folded neatly by his sides.

You approached cautiously, feeling the familiar thrill of excitement at the sight of the dragon. Vermax lifted his head, his golden eyes following your every movement. There was something almost playful in his gaze, as though he were waiting for you to do something entertaining.

“What do you think he’s planning?” Jacaerys asked, coming up beside you.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s plotting some sort of mischief,” you replied, your tone light. “He always seems to have that look in his eyes.”

Jacaerys chuckled, a sound that was quickly drowned out by Vermax’s sudden, exuberant leap. The dragon bounded toward you, his massive frame causing the earth to tremble beneath him. You shrieked with laughter as Vermax’s warm breath ruffled your hair, and he nudged you playfully with his snout.

“Careful,” Jacaerys warned with a grin. “He might decide you’re his new favorite toy.”

You ducked as Vermax playfully tried to grab your skirts with his claws, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “I think he’s already made up his mind,” you said, trying to catch your breath between giggles.

Jacaerys joined in the laughter, his face flushed with amusement. “Well, if he’s decided you’re his favorite, then I suppose I’ll have to share you.”

You swore your heart almost jumped out of your chest, you noticed Vermax’s huff at the prince’s comment.

At first, it was just a matter of curiosity. Dragons, as intelligent and formidable as they were, often took an interest in those around their riders. Vermax’s gaze would follow you with a keen, almost feline curiosity, his golden eyes tracking your every movement with a level of intensity that was both unnerving and oddly comforting.

You had grown accustomed to his presence. He would appear near the Dragonpit, his massive form casting a shadow over the land. His keen eyes seemed to follow you, watching with an intensity that suggested he was waiting for something. At times, he would perform small acts of assistance – igniting a pile of leaves with a controlled burst of flame or helping clear debris with a gentle sweep of his tail.

The dragon would often follow you, hovering just out of sight, his golden eyes always watching. It was during these moments that you began to realize the depth of Vermax’s fascination. He was not merely curious; he was attentive, almost protective. 

Jacaerys began to notice Vermax’s behavior as well. “He’s been following you a lot lately,” he remarked one day, his voice tinged with a mix of curiosity and concern.

You shrugged, brushing a speck of dirt from your dress. “He seems to enjoy my company. I don’t mind.”

Jacaerys frowned slightly, his brow furrowed. “It’s not just that. He seems… different around you. I’ve never seen him act this way with anyone else.”

You met his gaze, searching for an explanation you didn’t have. “He’s always been attentive. Maybe he just likes being near me.”

With each passing day, Vermax’s playful spirit drew you in further, his antics becoming a source of joy and wonder. You found yourself captivated not just by his impressive size and strength, but by the way he seemed to understand you in a way few others did. The warmth of his golden eyes held a depth that hinted at a connection you couldn’t quite grasp, igniting a blend of curiosity and exhilaration in your heart.

The salty breeze whipped through your hair as you stood atop the cliffs of Dragonstone, your eyes fixed on the horizon where sea met sky. The pungent scent of herbs clung to your fingers, a reminder of the morning spent in your personal garden. You were already making a name for yourself among the castle's inhabitants as a skilled herbalist, following in your father's footsteps but carving your own path in the world of science and medicine.

You breathed in deeply, savoring the crisp air that always seemed to invigorate your senses. It was in these quiet moments, away from the bustle of the castle, that you felt most alive. But as always, you weren't truly alone.

A low rumble from behind made you smile. You didn't need to turn to know that Vermax had followed you out here. Again.

"I know you're there," you said, your voice carried away by the wind. "You're not as stealthy as you think, you overgrown lizard."

Another rumble, this time sounding almost indignant, and you couldn't help but laugh. You finally turned to face the magnificent creature that had become your unlikely shadow over the past few years.

Vermax's scales shimmered in the sunlight, a mesmerizing dance of bronze and gold. His intelligent eyes watched you with what you could only describe as curiosity. It was a look you'd grown accustomed to, ever since the day he'd first started following you around the castle grounds.

"What do you think?" you asked, gesturing to the basket of freshly picked herbs at your feet. "Think we've got enough wormwood for that new tonic I'm working on?"

Vermax tilted his head, nostrils flaring as he sniffed at the basket. You chuckled, shaking your head at the absurdity of consulting a dragon on herbal matters. And yet, there was something comforting about his presence, a constancy in the ever-shifting world of Westerosi politics that surrounded you.

A sudden gust of wind threatened to topple your basket, and you quickly reached down to steady it. Vermax, in a surprising display of gentleness, used his wing to shield you and your precious cargo from the blast.

"Thank you," you murmured, patting his scales appreciatively. "Though I'm sure Prince Jacaerys would prefer you were with him instead of playing nursemaid to me and my plants."

At the mention of his rider's name, Vermax's head swiveled towards the castle. You followed his gaze, your eyes landing on a familiar figure making his way along the winding path towards you.

You felt a familiar flutter in your chest, one that you promptly ignored. Jacaerys had been your friend for years, ever since his family had sought refuge on Dragonstone. You'd grown up together, sharing lessons and adventures. But he was a prince, and you... well, you were just you.

"I thought I'd find you two up here," Jacaerys called out as he drew nearer. "You know, most people would be terrified to find a dragon following them around."

You shrugged, a smirk playing at the corners of your mouth. "Vermax is a perfect gentleman. Aren't you, you big scaly brute?"

Vermax preened at your words, puffing out his chest and eliciting a laugh from both you and Jacaerys.

"I think he likes you more than me sometimes," Jacaerys said, reaching out to scratch under Vermax's chin. The dragon leaned into his touch, eyes half-closing in contentment.

"Nonsense," you replied, busying yourself with your basket of herbs to avoid meeting Jacaerys’ eyes. "He's your dragon. I'm just... a distraction, I suppose."

Jacaerys was quiet for a moment, and when you finally looked up, you found him watching you with an intensity that made your cheeks warm.

"You're not a distraction," he said softly. "You're..." He trailed off, seeming to struggle for words.

An awkward silence fell between you, filled only by the sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs below and Vermax's steady breathing. You cleared your throat, desperate to dispel the sudden tension.

"I've been working on a new tonic," you said brightly, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. "For headaches. I thought it might help your mother, with all the stress she's under."

Jacaerys’ face lit up, his earlier hesitation forgotten. "She'll be so grateful."

There was that flutter again, stronger this time. You pushed it down, reminding yourself of the realities of your positions. Jacaerys was kind, had always been kind to you. But kindness wasn’t love, and you knew better than to dwell on such thoughts. You were content with the friendship you shared – its warmth was enough.

You crouched down, reaching into your basket to inspect the herbs, trying to focus on the familiar rhythm of your work. The scent of rosemary and wormwood filled the air, grounding you, but you were still keenly aware of Jacaerys standing just a little too close.

"Your garden’s thriving," He remarked, crouching beside you. He wasn’t one for keeping his distance, never had been. It was one of the reasons why you treasured your time together – there were no walls between you. No formalities, just the easy companionship of two souls who had grown side by side.

You smiled, plucking a leaf from a stalk of lemon balm and holding it out to him. “Smell that. Calming, isn’t it? Perfect for stress relief.”

Jacaerys leaned in, the closeness sending an unexpected warmth through you. His nose wrinkled as he inhaled, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his expression.

"Calming? It smells like... old socks."

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Only because you don’t know what to look for. Trust me, in the right hands, it works wonders.”

He shot you a sideways glance, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "In your hands, I’m sure it does."

The words hung between you, and though they were casual, they carried a weight you couldn’t quite ignore. You glanced up at him, finding his gaze once more. 

You could have let it linger, but instead, you cleared your throat, standing abruptly. "I should head back to the chambers and start working on this tonic. It won’t make itself,"

You started to gather your herbs, your movements quick and purposeful. You tried to shake off the tension that still hung in the air, but Jacaerys’ presence was hard to ignore.

“Wait,” Jacaerys said, stepping closer. “I’d love to help with the tonic, if you’d have me.”

You hesitated, looking up at him with surprise. You raised an eyebrow, feigning contemplation. “Are you sure you want to trade the view of the cliffs for a kitchen filled with herbs and potions?”

He grinned, a playful sparkle in his eyes. “I’d trade anything to spend more time with you.”

The flutter in your chest intensified, but you pushed it aside. “Alright, then. I’ll need an extra pair of hands. But be warned, it might get a bit messy.”

Jacaerys laughed, a sound that mingled effortlessly with the crash of waves below. “Messy sounds like fun. Lead the way.”

When you reached your chambers, you paused by the door, holding out a sprig of lavender. “Here,” you said, your voice slightly hesitant. “Take this for your chambers. It’ll help with relaxation, especially after all the stress.”

Jacaerys accepted the sprig with a genuine smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’ll make sure to keep it close.”

Without a second thought, he tucked the lavender behind his ear, where it nestled among his dark hair. He offered you a cheeky smile, his gaze met yours, and there was a gentle, playful light in his eyes, as if he had just shared a secret with you and the world around you had receded, leaving only the two of you in its warm embrace.

You found yourself momentarily lost in the way the lavender added a touch of whimsy to his otherwise princely appearance. It was a small, almost insignificant gesture, but it transformed him into something unexpectedly beautiful, a blend of the regal and the endearing.

You couldn’t help but smile, admiring how the lavender seemed to accentuate his features. “You look quite charming,” you remarked, unable to resist the compliment.

Jacaerys blushed slightly, a hint of pink coloring his cheeks. "You think so?" Jacaerys asked, his voice tinged with mock seriousness as he adjusted the lavender, his smile widening.

"Absolutely," you replied, your own smile growing as you observed the slight flush that colored his cheeks.

“I suppose I’ll have to make sure to wear it often then."

And he did, each time you saw Jacaerys, there was the lavender – a constant reminder of that afternoon. It became a part of him, woven into the very fabric of his routine, and its presence was a silent testament to something unspoken.

You noticed it the first time he arrived at your herbarium, the soft purple hue of lavender peeking from his pocket. It seemed to bring a new kind of lightness to his demeanor, as if the charm of the flower was somehow intertwined with the growing affection you sensed in his gaze. After he saw your faint blush on your face, and the small smile you tried to hide when you noticed it, he’d started to wear it every day.

Rhaenyra’s invitation to join the court had been a momentous occasion for Jacaerys. At eighteen, he was eager to embrace the responsibilities and privileges of a more mature role within the castle, seeing it as a step towards adulthood. 

The dynamic between you and Jacaerys shifted, though the change was subtle and gradual. There was a newfound awareness in the way you interacted, a heightened sense of connection that simmered just beneath the surface of your everyday conversations.

You would find yourselves lingering a beat too long in each other's company, fingers brushing as you passed one another in the castle corridors. Stolen glances across crowded rooms held a weight that had been absent before, and the easy laughter that had once flowed so freely between you now carried an undercurrent of nervous energy.

Yet, through it all, your friendship remained steadfast. You continued to seek each other out, drawn together by an unspoken bond that defied the conventions of court life. Whether it was trading stories in the gardens or simply enjoying the comfortable silence of each other's presence, there was a sense of security and belonging that you found in Jacaerys' company.

It was during one of these chance encounters that you truly began to realize how much things had changed between you. You had been walking through a secluded part of the castle grounds, lost in thought, when you quite literally bumped into Jacaerys as he rounded a corner.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, stumbling slightly. Jacaerys' hands shot out to steady you, gripping your arms gently but firmly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. But as you looked up to meet his gaze, you saw something else there too – a warmth, an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat.

You nodded, suddenly very aware of how close you were standing, of the warmth of his hands on your arms. "I'm fine," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you."

Jacaerys didn't immediately let go, his thumbs tracing small, unconscious circles on your skin. The touch sent shivers down your spine, and you found yourself leaning in ever so slightly, drawn by some invisible force.

For a moment, you both stood there, frozen in time. The air around you seemed to hum with possibility, with all the words left unsaid between you. Jacaerys' gaze dropped to your lips for the briefest of seconds before snapping back up to your eyes, a faint blush coloring his cheeks.

"I..." he began, his voice husky. But whatever he had been about to say was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps and voices.

You both stepped apart quickly, the spell broken. A group of courtiers rounded the corner, their chatter filling the once-quiet space. Jacaerys ran a hand through his hair, looking flustered.

"I should go," he said, his voice tinged with regret. "I have a meeting with my mother and the council."

You nodded, trying to hide your disappointment. "Of course. I'll see you later?"

Jacaerys smiled, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. "Count on it," he replied, his voice warm with promise.

As he walked away, you couldn't help but feel that something fundamental had shifted between you. The easy friendship of your childhood was evolving into something deeper, more complex. And while part of you yearned to explore these new feelings, another part hesitated, aware of the complications that could arise.

After all, Jacaerys was a prince, heir to the Iron Throne. And you, despite your father's position at court, were still just a noble's daughter. The gap between your stations, which had seemed inconsequential in childhood, now loomed large and imposing.

But as you watched Jacaerys disappear around a corner, his tall figure cutting a striking silhouette against the stone walls of the castle, you couldn't quite bring yourself to care about the potential obstacles. There was something growing between you, something that felt important, even vital.

And unbeknownst to both of you, high above in the Dragonpit, Vermax stirred in his sleep, his golden eyes fluttering open for a moment as if sensing the shift in the air. The dragon let out a low, rumbling purr before settling back down, a sound that seemed to echo with satisfaction and anticipation.

As promised, you sought him out, as you walked the castle grounds, you stumbled upon Jacaerys in a quiet alcove, poring over a stack of parchments. His brow was furrowed in concentration, a sight that was both endearing and familiar.

"Hiding away from the world, I see," you teased, your voice light and playful as you approached.

Jacaerys looked up, a warm smile spreading across his lips. "Hardly. I'm simply attempting to make sense of these endless reports. Surely you know how tedious court life can be."

You nodded, settling down beside him on the stone bench. "I do, indeed. But I must say, you seem to be handling the burden with more grace than I ever could."

Jacaerys chuckled, the sound low and rich. "Practice, I suppose. Though I have to admit, it's much easier to bear when you're around to distract me."

The words hung in the air, charged with a subtle flirtation that sent a flutter through your chest. You met his gaze, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"Is that so? Well, in that case, I'll be sure to interrupt your work more often."

Jacaerys leaned in, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Please do. I find I'm in dire need of a distraction."

The air between you crackled with an undeniable tension, and for a moment, you were both lost in the intensity of the moment. It was as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you, your hearts beating in sync as you lingered in each other's space.

Eventually, Jacaerys cleared his throat, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he turned his attention back to the parchments. "In all seriousness, I could use a break. Would you care to join me for a walk?"

You nodded, the smile on your face widening. "I thought you'd never ask."

As you fell into step beside him, your arms brushing with each stride, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. The tension may have been palpable, but there was also an underlying comfort in the familiarity of your bond. It was as if you had known each other forever, despite the ever-changing nature of the world around you.

The conversation flowed easily, punctuated by bouts of laughter and playful banter. Jacaerys spoke of his latest lessons and the frustrations of court politics, while you shared tales of your explorations in the city, weaving vivid descriptions that had him listening with rapt attention.

At one point, as you recounted a particularly harrowing encounter with a flock of noisy geese, Jacaerys reached out and gently brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his fingertips lingering on your skin. The simple gesture sent a shiver down your spine, and you found yourself lost in the warmth of his gaze.

"You know," he murmured, his voice soft and low, "I always enjoy our conversations, but I find myself looking forward to them more and more these days."

You felt your heart flutter, and you couldn't help but lean a little closer, drawn to the intensity of his presence. "As do I, Jacaerys. As do I."

"I thought I'd enjoy court a bit more," Jacaerys confessed, his brow furrowed in a slight frown. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the opportunity, but it can be… overwhelming at times.”

You glanced at him, sensing the weight of his words. “It’s a lot to handle, isn’t it?” Reaching for his arm, you linked yours together. “It’s one thing to hear about it, and quite another to live it every day.”

Jacaerys sighed, his gaze wandering over the castle grounds, where the late afternoon sun cast a golden hue on the landscape. “I thought I’d be more prepared, but it seems like the more I try to understand, the less I actually know.”

“You spend every day locked in that dusty library,” you made a face, “Perhaps a change of scenery is exactly what you need.” 

Jacaerys glanced at you, his lips curving into a small, appreciative smile. 

“Or a good distraction,” you added with a playful grin.

He moved your linked arms to elbow your side, his eyes softening with gratitude. “I suppose you’ve been quite the distraction for me. And I’m not sure how I’d have managed without it.”

You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks at his words. 

The warmth of Jacaerys' gaze, paired with his words, left you momentarily breathless. There was a sincerity in his voice, a quiet vulnerability that you hadn’t heard from him before. For a brief second, the world around you seemed to blur, the rustling trees and distant clamor of the castle fading into the background. All that remained was the two of you, arm in arm, walking through a world that felt uniquely yours.

“You would’ve managed just fine,” you said, nudging him lightly, trying to keep the mood light despite the flutter in your chest. “But I’m glad to be your distraction anyway.”

Jacaerys' lips twitched into a smile, but his eyes remained focused on you, studying your face as if committing every feature to memory. "Still, I’ve come to appreciate it more than you know."

You turned your head slightly, the afternoon breeze stirring your hair as you walked side by side. There was a new depth to the conversation, an unspoken understanding that your relationship had grown into something beyond friendship. The stolen glances, the accidental brushes of skin, the way your words seemed to hold more meaning than before—it all pointed to a shift that neither of you could ignore any longer.

And yet, you found comfort in how natural it felt. Jacaerys had always been your closest friend, the person you could talk to about anything. That foundation hadn’t changed. If anything, it had only deepened, strengthened by the shared moments and quiet, growing affection between you.

As you passed beneath the shade of an ancient oak tree, Jacaerys slowed his steps, tugging gently on your arm. 

“Wait,” he said softly, glancing up at the sprawling branches that created a cocoon of privacy. The dappled sunlight filtered through the leaves, casting warm golden patterns across his face.

He turned toward you fully, and for the first time, you felt a quiet intensity in the way he looked at you. There was a question in his gaze, though he hadn’t yet voiced it aloud. His fingers, still linked with yours, tightened slightly, and you realized how close you stood to him now, barely an arm’s length apart.

The wind stirred again, a soft breeze that seemed to carry with it the weight of the moment. You felt your heart thudding in your chest, as if echoing his.

Finally, he spoke, his voice low and uncertain, like he was tiptoeing around something fragile. 

“Would it be terribly selfish of me to ask for more of your time? Away from… all of this?” He gestured loosely toward the distant castle with his free hand, the spires glinting in the late afternoon sun.

You blinked, taken slightly aback by the request, though your chest warmed at the sincerity in his tone. He wasn’t asking out of politeness, nor was this a casual suggestion. This was something deeper – an unspoken desire for space, for more moments like this one, away from the noise and demands of court. Just you and him.

“I–” you started, unsure how to respond at first. A soft breeze rustled the leaves above, and you realized you didn’t need to think too hard about it. “No,” you said quietly, your smile gentle. “It’s not selfish at all.”

Jacaerys' expression softened in visible relief, his shoulders relaxing slightly. He let out a small breath, one he hadn’t realized he was holding, and his eyes brightened as they met yours. 

"I was hoping you'd say that," he said, the familiar warmth returning to his voice, though the undercurrent of something more remained.

His hand, still linked with yours, tightened ever so slightly, as though he feared you might pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you found yourself leaning into the connection, the warmth of his touch grounding you amidst the fluttering of your heart. 

The world seemed to slow around you, the gentle breeze playing with the strands of your hair, the golden sunlight casting a soft glow across Jacaerys' face. His eyes, those deep, dark pools you had known since childhood, held something new now – an intensity, a vulnerability that made your breath catch.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The leaves above rustled softly, and the distant sounds of the castle faded, leaving only the steady rhythm of your breathing and the quiet tension that hung between you. You could feel the weight of the moment, the way everything seemed to hinge on what might happen next.

Jacaerys stepped closer, just a fraction, but it was enough for you to feel the warmth radiating from him. His free hand lifted hesitantly, as though he wasn’t quite sure if he should, and then he gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. The touch was feather-light, but it sent a shiver down your spine.

“I think,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper now, “that I’ve always wanted more time with you. I just… I didn’t know how to ask.”

His words, so simple yet so full of meaning, sent your mind reeling. You had always been close, always shared moments of laughter and quiet companionship, but this—this was something different. It was as if the lines you had both drawn so carefully over the years were blurring, fading into something neither of you could fully understand, but both were willing to explore.

You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry, and met his gaze. “Jacaerys,” The words caught in your throat, unsure of how to express the swirl of emotions inside you. But the look in his eyes told you that he understood, that he didn’t need you to say anything just yet.

His hand lingered near your face, his fingers lightly grazing your cheek. For a moment, it seemed like the whole world held its breath, waiting to see what would happen next.

But before you could speak again, before either of you could close the distance between you, a voice called out from the castle. A courtier, no doubt, summoning Jacaerys back to his duties.

The moment shattered like glass, the spell broken by the harsh reality of the world beyond the oak’s sheltering branches. Jacaerys pulled back, his expression one of reluctant resignation, though his fingers lingered on yours for just a heartbeat longer before slipping away.

“I…” he began, his voice strained. “I have to go.”

You nodded, the warmth of his touch still lingering on your skin. “I know.”

But as he turned to leave, he hesitated, casting one last look over his shoulder. His gaze met yours, and in that moment, it felt like a promise, unspoken yet understood. There would be more time, more moments like this – when the world didn’t press in so tightly, when you could simply be Jacaerys and yourself, without the weight of court life bearing down on you.

And with that, he was gone, his figure disappearing down the path toward the castle, leaving you standing alone beneath the oak, the fluttering leaves above a soft reminder of what had almost been.

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself increasingly aware of Jacaerys' presence in your life. 

You began to notice the little things, the small gestures that spoke volumes about Jacaerys' growing affection. The way he would seek you out in crowded rooms, his eyes lighting up when they found yours. The gentle brush of his hand against yours as you walked side by side through the castle corridors. The way he listened intently when you spoke, hanging on your every word as if they were precious gems.

One particular evening, you found yourself in the castle library, surrounded by towering shelves of ancient tomes. You had been searching for a specific book on herbal remedies, standing on tiptoe to reach a high shelf, when you felt a presence behind you.

"Allow me," Jacaerys' voice came softly, his breath warm against your ear as he reached past you to pluck the book from its perch.

You turned, finding yourself face to face with the prince, barely a breath of space between you. "Thank you," you murmured, your voice catching slightly as you met his gaze.

Jacaerys’ fingers lingered on the spine of the book, his proximity causing your pulse to quicken. You could smell the faint scent of leather and parchment mingling with something distinctly him, a subtle warmth that made the space between you feel smaller, more intimate. The soft light from the library’s candles flickered, casting shadows on his face and highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw that had grown more defined with age.

"You're welcome," he murmured, his voice low and filled with an unfamiliar weight. It was his nameday today, turning nine and ten, and though the castle had been buzzing with celebration all day, it was this quiet moment in the library that felt the most significant. The festivities seemed far away, drowned out by the quiet hum of his presence beside you.

You felt a nervous flutter in your chest, one you couldn’t quite control, as you tried to speak, to break the silence that hung between you like a fragile thread. “I didn’t expect you here,” you said softly, your fingers brushing the edge of the book he’d handed you. “Shouldn’t you be at your nameday feast?”

Jacaerys smiled, a small, almost sheepish curve of his lips that sent warmth through you. “I should be,” he admitted, his eyes holding yours. “But I needed some air... and maybe a bit of quiet. It’s overwhelming sometimes.”

You nodded, understanding immediately. The weight of expectation that came with his name, his birthright, was always heavy. "I imagine it must be. All those people, eyes on you."

He let out a soft sigh, his hand brushing against yours as he shifted the book to you more securely. “Exactly. And... well, I was hoping to find you.”

Your heart skipped at his words, and you blinked up at him, momentarily lost for a reply. 

“I’m glad you did,” you managed to say, your voice quieter than you’d intended.

Jacaerys stepped just a fraction closer, the space between you shrinking as he tilted his head slightly, his expression softening. His lips quirked into a playful smile, the kind that had always made your heart stumble in your chest. 

"You wouldn’t believe the amount of gifts I’ve been forced to graciously accept today," he said, his voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper. “Half the court is vying for a chance to be in my good graces, hoping one of their children might become my future Hand when I take the throne.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head as if the thought were absurd, though you knew the pressures that came with his title weighed on him more than he liked to admit. There was something in his eyes – an unspoken weariness, a hint of the heavy responsibility he bore, even as he tried to make light of it.

You couldn’t help but smile, the image of Jacaerys surrounded by lavish gifts from eager courtiers painting a rather amusing picture in your mind. "Let me guess, dozens of finely crafted swords, books you’ll never read, and enough embroidered tunics to last you a lifetime?"

“More than I know what to do with,” he said with a dramatic sigh, leaning a little closer, the warmth of his presence wrapping around you. “One lord even gifted me a statue of a dragon, carved from some rare stone. It weighs more than Vermax himself, I swear.”

You laughed softly, the sound mingling with the quiet of the library, and for a moment, it felt like the world had melted away, leaving just the two of you in this small, secluded space. “What are you going to do with all of it?”

“I’m thinking of donating it to the maesters,” he said, his voice playful but with an undertone of sincerity. “They’re always looking for more clutter, aren’t they?”

His humor was infectious, and you found yourself grinning, shaking your head at him. “They’d probably find a way to use it in some lesson about the history of Valyria.”

Jacaerys chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a mix of amusement and something softer, deeper. The air between you grew thick again, the earlier tension returning, but this time, it felt different. Less uncertain, more sure. 

He lifted his hand, slowly, tentatively, as though he were testing the boundaries of whatever was blossoming between you. His fingers brushed lightly against your wrist, tracing the skin there in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. The gentle touch was intimate, delicate, as though he were savoring the moment, reluctant to let it end.

"You know," he began, his voice barely above a whisper now, "all those presents – they don’t mean anything. Not really." His gaze locked with yours, the intensity in his eyes making your breath catch. "I only wanted one thing today."

Your heart raced, your pulse quickening under his touch, and you found yourself leaning in ever so slightly, drawn to him in a way that felt both natural and terrifying.

“And what’s that?” you asked softly, your voice barely more

Jacaerys’ eyes never left yours as he spoke, his voice low and soft, a quiet intimacy threading through his words. “You,” he said, the single word hanging in the air between you like a confession, vulnerable and raw.

Your breath hitched, heart pounding so loudly that you were sure he could hear it in the stillness of the library. For a moment, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. All you could feel was the weight of his gaze, the warmth of his hand against your wrist, and the undeniable pull that had been building between you for what felt like years.

His fingers tightened ever so slightly on your wrist, a silent plea, his thumb tracing slow circles on your skin. 

“I’ve spent so much time in the court,” he said quietly, his voice low and filled with the weight of his thoughts. “Handling affairs, playing the part of the prince, always doing what’s expected of me. But lately… I’ve missed you.” His words carried an ache, as if the time apart had been a slow, painful realization of what he truly wanted. 

Your heart fluttered at his words, the depth of his confession settling over you like a warm blanket. You felt a tightening in your chest, the emotions you’d been trying to keep at bay now rushing to the surface.

Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you reached into the folds of your dress and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped package. You had agonized over this gift for weeks, wanting it to be perfect.

"I have something for you," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "For your nameday."

Jacaerys' eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and curiosity crossing his features. He loosened his grip on your wrist, allowing you to place the gift in his hand.

"You didn't have to–" he began, but you shook your head, silencing him with a gentle smile.

"I wanted to," you assured him. "I suppose you can add this to the mountain of gifts you've received today. Though it might get lost among all those rare stone dragons." you jested.

Jacaerys chuckled softly, but his eyes remained intense as they held yours. "Anything from you could never get lost in a pile," he murmured, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your wrist. "It already stands out from anything any lord could offer."

Your breath caught at his words, the depth of feeling behind them unmistakable. Jacaerys glanced down at the small package in his hand, his fingers running over the careful wrapping.

"Aren't you going to open it?" you asked, suddenly feeling a bit nervous about your choice of gift.

Jacaerys shook his head, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Not yet," he said. "I want to savor this moment a little longer."

Your heart raced as you realized how close you were standing, the warmth of his body radiating towards you in the quiet of the library. Without overthinking, you leaned in and pressed a soft, quick kiss to his cheek.

"Happy nameday, Jace," you whispered, your lips brushing his skin as you spoke.

You pulled back slightly, meeting his gaze once more. His eyes were wide with surprise, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. For a moment, neither of you moved, caught in the charged atmosphere between you.

Then, gathering your courage, you took a small step back. "I should go," you said softly, though every part of you wanted to stay. "You have a feast to return to, after all."

Jacaerys nodded, seemingly still stunned by your gesture. As you turned to leave, you glanced back over your shoulder. Jacaerys stood there, the small package clutched in one hand. The look on his face was one of wonder and longing, as if he had just been given the most precious gift in all the Seven Kingdoms.

He smiled to himself, a mixture of joy and longing filling his chest. As he finally moved to rejoin his nameday feast, he knew that this moment – this gift – would be the one he cherished most from this day forward.

In the days that followed your moment with Jacaerys in the library, you noticed a distinct change in Vermax's behavior. The dragon, always attentive to you before, now seemed utterly determined not to let you out of his sight.

It started the very next morning. As you made your way to the herb gardens, a familiar shadow fell over you. Looking up, you saw Vermax circling overhead, his bronze scales glinting in the early sunlight. You thought nothing of it at first – the dragon often flew over the castle grounds. But as you reached the gardens and began your work, you realized Vermax had landed nearby and was watching you intently.

"Hello there," you called out, amused by his intense gaze. "Come to help with the weeding?"

Vermax huffed, a puff of warm air ruffling your hair. He settled himself more comfortably on the grass, his tail curling around him like a cat. His golden eyes never left you as you went about your tasks.

As the day wore on, Vermax's presence became a constant. When you moved to a different part of the garden, he would follow, sometimes knocking over pots or uprooting plants in his eagerness to stay close. You found yourself having to work around him, like a gardener might work around a particularly large and scaly cat.

"You're being rather clingy today, aren't you?" you muttered, reaching around his massive form to grab a watering can. Vermax merely blinked slowly at you, looking utterly content.

The pattern continued over the next few days. Whenever you left your chambers, Vermax would appear, following you around the castle’s outings with a single-minded determination. He would curl up outside the great hall while you dined, much to the bewilderment of the other courtiers. During your walks in the castle grounds, he would lumber along beside you, occasionally nudging you with his snout as if seeking attention.

One afternoon, as you sat in a quiet corner of the courtyard, attempting to read, Vermax decided your lap looked like the perfect place to rest his head. You found yourself with a lapful of warm, scaly dragon, your book forgotten as you absently stroked the ridges along his snout.

"What's gotten into you?" you wondered aloud, scratching behind one of his horns. Vermax rumbled contentedly, his eyes half-closed in bliss.

It was during one of these moments that Jacaerys found you. His eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sight of his usually aloof dragon behaving like an overgrown housecat.

"Well, this is new," he remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "I've been looking for him all morning. Should have known he'd be with you."

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks, remembering your last encounter in the library. "He's been... rather attentive lately," you explained, trying to keep your voice steady.

Jacaerys moved closer, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Attentive? It looks like he's adopted you."

Vermax opened one eye to look at his rider, then promptly closed it again, snuggling closer to you. You couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm not sure what I've done to deserve such devotion," you said, your fingers still absently stroking Vermax's scales.

Jacaerys' expression softened, his gaze moving from Vermax to you. "I think I might have an idea," he said softly, so quietly that you almost missed it.

For a heartbeat, you didn’t dare breathe. You had heard the whispers – the soft murmurings that floated through the halls of the castle, spoken behind fans and shared in hushed tones over goblets of wine. They were the same rumors that had always been dismissed as mere fables: ancient tales about dragons and soulmates, myths that most of the court laughed off as fantastical relics from a bygone era.

You had grown up with the legends, just as any child of Westeros had. It was said that in the ancient days of Old Valyria, dragons could sense the one person destined for their rider, a bond so profound it went beyond even the magical connection between rider and dragon. This connection was rare, deeper than anything known to man, and some believed it tied the fates of the rider, dragon, and soulmate together, forever.

But those were only stories, weren’t they?

The thought made your heart race, even as Vermax nudged your hand, demanding more attention. 

Jacaerys seemed to sense your hesitation. He sat down beside you, his shoulder brushing against yours, the warmth of his presence both reassuring and unnerving. The weight of those whispered legends hung in the air between you, heavy with possibilities neither of you dared voice. You could feel the question in the space between you, but neither of you seemed willing to give it life, to allow the old stories to weave themselves into your reality.

Vermax huffed contentedly, his golden eyes half-lidded as you continued to stroke his scales. The warmth of the dragon’s presence, combined with Jacaerys’ closeness, made the world feel smaller, more intimate. And yet, the thought of those legends, of the connection they hinted at, stirred something deep within you.

But you weren’t ready to confront that – not yet.

Jacaerys cleared his throat softly, breaking the silence with a casual tone, though you could hear the undercurrent of something more in his voice. "Vermax has always had a mind of his own. I suppose it’s not so strange that he’s taken a liking to you." His words were light, but there was a subtle tension in them, as if he, too, was choosing his words carefully.

You let out a quiet laugh, grateful for the shift in conversation. "He’s a bit of a menace, truth be told," you teased, brushing some dirt from your hands. "I don’t think I’ve ever had a dragon try to uproot my herb garden before."

Jacaerys grinned, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he glanced at Vermax. "He has a habit of getting in the way. I’m surprised you’ve managed to work around him."

You shrugged, smiling despite yourself. "I’ve learned to make do. Besides, it’s not every day you get a dragon for company. He’s surprisingly good at weeding, though I’m not sure he knows that’s what he’s doing."

Jacaerys chuckled, and the sound eased the tension in your chest. For a few moments, the weight of the unspoken words between you lightened, and you both fell into an easy rhythm, the kind that had defined your friendship over the years.

"I suppose I should count myself lucky," you continued, your voice teasing. "Not many people can say they have a dragon who’s decided to follow them around like a lost pup."

Jacaerys leaned back on his hands, gazing at Vermax with a fond smile. "I think you’ve charmed him," he said, his tone playful but gentle. "Though, to be fair, you tend to have that effect on people."

"I think it’s the herbs. Maybe he likes the smell."

Jacaerys turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting yours with a softness that made your heart skip. Your heart raced as Jacaerys' eyes dropped to your lips, his breathing slowing ever so slightly. 

You watched as Jacaerys’ gaze flicked back to your eyes, the intensity there nearly making you forget how to breathe. For a moment, you thought he might kiss you. His face leaned closer, his lips only a breath away from yours, and the heat of his proximity made your pulse quicken.

Vermax, sensing none of this, shifted lazily beside you, his warm breath ruffling your hair as you absentmindedly stroked his scales. The dragon’s presence had always been comforting, but now, with Jacaerys so close, you felt a different kind of warmth, one that had nothing to do with the huge dragon lying next to you.

Jacaerys cleared his throat again, but this time, the sound was more hesitant, as if he were about to wade into dangerous waters. He glanced down at his hands before turning back to you, his voice quieter now, almost cautious. 

"Have you ever… thought about marriage?" His tone was casual, but you could hear the tension beneath it, the way he was testing the waters with the question.

Your heart skipped a beat, and you blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in conversation. You hadn’t expected him to ask something like that – not after years of avoiding the topic, of keeping your interactions light and playful. The mention of marriage, especially from Jacaerys, felt like stepping too close to the edge of something vast and unknown.

"Marriage?" you repeated softly, buying yourself time as your mind raced. 

You glanced at him, searching his face for clues, for some indication of what he was really asking. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes held a strange intensity that made your stomach twist with nerves.

"Yes," he said, his voice steady, though you could sense the underlying current of uncertainty. "I mean… you must know it’s a topic that comes up often in court. Especially for someone like you. I imagine there have been offers."

You hesitated, unsure of how to answer. It wasn’t that the subject hadn’t crossed your mind – of course it had. You were of an age where most noblewomen were already spoken for, and though your father had never pressured you, there had been whispers, suggestions from the court that a match should be made soon. But you had always brushed those conversations aside, content with your life, with the simple joys of herbcraft and your time with Jacaerys.

"Offers, yes," you admitted after a moment, your voice quieter now. "But I’ve never taken any of them seriously."

Jacaerys tilted his head slightly, his eyes searching yours as if trying to read your thoughts. "Why not?"

You shrugged, trying to maintain some semblance of nonchalance, though your heart was racing in your chest. "I suppose I’ve never felt… connected to them in that way." The words felt heavier than you intended, and you quickly glanced away, focusing on Vermax instead of the prince beside you.

For a long moment, Jacaerys said nothing. You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, and though you were tempted to fill the silence, something held you back, as if speaking too soon might unravel whatever fragile thread was holding the moment together.

"I see," Jacaerys finally said, his voice soft but laced with something unspoken. 

His eyes searched yours, as though he were trying to decipher the meaning behind your words – your hesitation, the quiet way you had admitted to have been looking for love. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and though Vermax lay contentedly beside you, his warmth comforting, it did nothing to quell the flutter of nerves building inside you.

"What about you?" you asked, your voice softer now, almost hesitant. "I imagine you've had many offers as well."

Jacaerys' expression shifted, the playful edge that had always been a hallmark of your friendship disappearing entirely. His face grew serious, his gaze lowering as he seemed to consider your question. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t answer, that perhaps you had ventured too far into territory neither of you were ready to explore.

But then he sighed, his voice quieter than before, almost reflective. "There have been offers," he admitted, his tone neutral but with an undercurrent of tension. "Plenty of them, actually. It comes with the title. People see a future king and want to secure their place in that future."

His words felt distant, like they belonged to someone else, someone far removed from the boy you had grown up with. You could hear the weight of his responsibilities in his voice, the burden of being a prince, always expected to make decisions not just for himself but for an entire kingdom. 

"And yet," he continued, his eyes lifting to meet yours once more, "none of them ever felt right."

Your breath caught at his words. You hesitated, unsure of how to navigate the delicate tension between you. "Why not?" you asked softly, echoing his earlier question to you.

Jacaerys smiled, though it was a small, almost wistful expression, as if he were contemplating something he wasn’t sure he should say. His hand, which had been resting on the grass beside him, inched closer to yours, the tips of his fingers barely brushing against your own. The touch sent a shiver through you, a subtle but undeniable connection.

"I suppose," he began slowly, his voice thoughtful, "I’ve been waiting for something… more." He paused, glancing away for a brief moment before looking back at you. "Someone I feel connected to. Someone I trust. Someone who sees me, not just the prince."

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came. The silence stretched on, charged with the unsaid, the emotions neither of you could fully express. The space between you felt smaller, more intimate, as if the world outside this moment had faded into nothing.

Jacaerys shifted slightly, his hand finally closing the distance between you, his fingers curling around yours. The touch was gentle, almost hesitant, as if he were still testing the waters of whatever was growing between you. His thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles, and the simple gesture sent a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the dragon resting beside you.

"Do you think…" he began, his voice barely above a whisper now, "that it’s possible for someone like me to have that? To choose for myself?"

Your breath hitched at his question, and for a moment, you were unsure how to answer. Jacaerys, the future king, bound by duty and responsibility, was asking you something so personal, so vulnerable. The weight of his title, his future, pressed down on both of you, and yet, here in this quiet moment, it felt as though it was just the two of you, free from the expectations of the world.

"I think," you whispered, your heart pounding in your chest, "if anyone deserves to choose, it’s you."

Your words seemed to settle over him, a quiet reassurance that made the tension in his shoulders ease just a fraction. He gave you a small, grateful smile, one that made your chest tighten with something you weren’t ready to name.

Finally, Jacaerys broke the silence, his voice soft and filled with a quiet resolve. "Maybe one day," he said, his thumb still tracing slow circles on your hand, "we’ll both get to choose."

The weight of Jacaerys' words lingered in the air between you, a tangible presence that seemed to weave its way into the very fabric of the moment. You could feel the quiet intensity of his gaze, his thumb still brushing against your hand, a gentle, rhythmic motion that seemed to steady both of you.

His hand remained entwined with yours, and you noticed the way his fingers moved, absently tracing the lines of your palm. There was a tenderness in his touch, a delicate acknowledgment of the closeness that had grown between you.

As if to seal the moment, Jacaerys leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to the palm of your hand. The sensation was warm and electrifying, sending a shiver up your arm. His lips lingered for a heartbeat longer than necessary, and the intimacy of the gesture made your heart race. His fingers played with yours, the touch light and exploratory, a silent communication that spoke volumes more than words ever could.

Jacaerys’ eyes met yours, and in that look, you saw a reflection of your own feelings – a mixture of hope, uncertainty, and an undeniable connection. His hand remained in yours, a comforting presence that felt both familiar and new.

The quiet was filled with the unspoken, the space between you charged with possibilities. The weight of your shared silence felt like a cocoon, wrapping you both in a moment that was yours alone, away from the eyes and expectations of the world outside.

Finally, Jacaerys’ lips curved into a small, genuine smile, and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "I should probably go," he said softly, though he made no move to leave. "There's a council meeting I'm meant to attend."

You nodded, understanding the weight of his responsibilities, even as a part of you wished he could stay. "Of course," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "Duty calls."

Jacaerys sighed, his eyes never leaving yours. "It always does," he murmured, a hint of resignation in his tone. But then his expression softened, and he added, "Though I find myself wishing it didn't, at least not when I'm with you."

The admission hung in the air between you, laden with unspoken meaning. You felt a flutter in your chest, a mix of excitement and nervousness at the implications of his words.

Vermax, who had been contentedly dozing beside you, stirred slightly. The dragon lifted his head, his golden eyes flickering between you and Jacaerys as if sensing the shift in mood.

"I think someone's getting jealous," you teased lightly, grateful for the momentary distraction from the intensity of the moment.

Jacaerys chuckled, reaching out to pat Vermax's snout. "He's not the only one who enjoys your company," he said, his voice low and tinged with meaning.

He stood slowly, reluctantly releasing your hand. As he did, his fingers trailed along your palm, a lingering touch that sent shivers down your spine.

"Perhaps," he began, a hint of hesitation in his voice, "we could continue this conversation another time? Away from prying eyes and dragon chaperones?"

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. "I'd like that," you replied softly.

Jacaerys' face lit up with a warmth that made your heart swell. He took a step back, his eyes still locked with yours. "Until then," he said, his voice filled with promise.

As he turned to leave, Vermax huffed, a small puff of smoke curling from his nostrils. The dragon's gaze followed his rider, then settled back on you, as if to say he'd be keeping watch.

You sat there for a moment longer, your hand still tingling from Jacaerys' touch, your mind replaying the conversation. The weight of what had transpired, of the words spoken and unspoken, settled over you like a warm blanket.

The days passed in a haze, the absence of Jacaerys more palpable than you had expected. His words, his touch, the warmth of his presence lingered with you, like a song you couldn’t quite shake from your thoughts. Every hour felt drawn out, the stillness of your chambers amplifying the emptiness that came with his absence.

You tried to busy yourself, distracting your mind with small tasks, but nothing seemed to quell the gnawing sensation that something was missing. Jacaerys’ parting words had left a subtle hum beneath your skin, a quiet longing that you couldn’t quite place, or maybe didn’t want to.

By the time night fell, the soft glow of the candlelight casting long shadows against the walls, you found yourself sitting by the window, your thoughts wandering back to him. You hadn’t expected to miss him this much. The bond you shared had grown in such a quiet, natural way, yet now that he was gone, the absence felt stark and undeniable.

The evening stretched on, and you were beginning to resign yourself to the solitude when a soft knock sounded at your door. Your heart leapt before you could even think.

Rising quickly, you crossed the room and pulled the door open, and there he was – Jacaerys, standing in the dim light of the corridor, a smile brighter than the candles behind him. His eyes sparkled, and there was an undeniable energy about him, a joy that radiated from his very being. 

"Jace," you breathed, a wave of relief washing over you. You hadn’t realized just how much you missed him until now, until he was standing here, looking at you with that familiar warmth in his eyes.

He stepped inside before you could say anything more, and the door closed softly behind him. There was an almost giddy excitement in his movements as he crossed the room toward you. 

His eyes were bright, his smile wide and unguarded in a way you'd rarely seen before. There was a lightness to his steps, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I've missed you," he said softly, his voice filled with a warmth that made your heart flutter. He reached out, his fingers brushing against your arm in a gentle, almost reverent touch.

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his words and the intensity of his gaze. "I've missed you too," you admitted, surprised by how easily the truth slipped out. "You seem... happy."

Jacaerys' smile grew even wider, if that was possible. He took another step closer, closing the distance between you until you could feel the warmth of his breath. 

His fingers, resting against your arm, traced a soft, soothing pattern, the touch sending a shiver down your spine. "I am happy," he said, his voice low, filled with that same lightness. His eyes held yours, and for a brief moment, it felt like there was no one else in the world, just the two of you standing in the quiet intimacy of your chambers.

You felt your breath catch in your throat as Jacaerys took another small step closer, closing the already narrow gap between you. His hand slid gently down your arm, capturing your hand in his, his fingers lacing with yours as if they belonged there.

“I’ve been waiting all day to see you,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a whisper, and there was something in his tone that tugged at your heart – something deeper, more meaningful, than just his words.

Your pulse quickened at his closeness, at the way his gaze never left yours. “It’s only been a few days, Jace,” you teased lightly, though the emotion in your voice betrayed the longing you had felt in his absence.

He chuckled softly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand, a familiar, soothing gesture that now held an extra layer of intimacy. “A day can feel like an eternity when you’re away from someone important,” he murmured, his eyes softening with sincerity.

There was something about the way he looked at you tonight, something in his touch, in the subtle tension between you that felt different – heavier, more charged. As if the unspoken things that had lingered between you were finally on the verge of surfacing.

“What happened today?” you asked quietly, your curiosity growing stronger. He had been away all day, and yet here he was, practically glowing with happiness. It was as though something had shifted, and though you didn’t know what it was, you could sense the importance of it in every move he made.

Jacaerys hesitated for a moment, his smile faltering ever so slightly, as if he was carefully considering how to answer. His hand squeezed yours gently, reassuringly, before he spoke again. “I spoke to my mother,” he said, his voice holding a note of quiet significance.

You tilted your head, your brows furrowing in confusion. “About what?” you asked softly, though your heart was already beginning to race, sensing that whatever conversation he had with his mother had something to do with you.

He exhaled slowly, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips, though there was a flicker of nervousness in his eyes now.

Jacaerys took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. When he spoke, his voice was soft, filled with a tenderness that made your heart ache.

"Do you remember," he began, "when we were children? How I used to follow you around the castle, always trying to be wherever you were?"

You nodded, a fond smile tugging at your lips. "Of course. You were like my shadow."

He chuckled softly, his thumb still tracing gentle circles on your hand. "I was, wasn't I? Back then, I didn't understand why. I just knew that being near you made me happy. It was... instinctive, I suppose. The way love often is for children."

Your breath caught at the word 'love', but Jacaerys continued, his voice growing more earnest.

"As we grew older, I started to hear the whispers. The stories that would float through the halls, passed between servants and nobles alike. Tales of a connection so rare and profound that even dragons could sense it."

He paused, his eyes searching yours, as if gauging your reaction. "I never put much stock in those stories. They seemed like fairy tales, meant for songs and legends, not for real life. But then..."

Jacaerys' free hand came up to cup your cheek, his touch feather-light and reverent. "Then I realized that after all these years, I still feel the same way. That instinct to be near you, to seek out your company, to find joy in your presence – it never faded. If anything, it's only grown stronger."

Your heart was pounding now, each beat echoing in your ears. Jacaerys' words hung in the air between you, heavy with implication and unspoken emotion.

"Jace," you whispered, your voice barely audible. 

He smiled then, a soft, vulnerable expression that made him look younger, more open than you'd ever seen him. "I spoke to my mother today about something I've known in my heart for a long time. Something I think – I hope – you might feel too."

Jacaerys took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I asked her for permission to court you. Properly, openly, with the intention of... of marriage, if you'll have me."

The world seemed to still around you, narrowing down to just this moment, just the two of you standing in the soft candlelight of your chambers. Jacaerys' words echoed in your mind, each one carrying the weight of years of unspoken feelings, of a connection that had grown so gradually and yet so powerfully that it took your breath away.

"Jace," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper. "You're the prince, the future king. Surely there are political considerations, alliances to be made-"

He shook his head, cutting off your words with a gentle squeeze of your hand. "I don't care about politics or alliances," he said firmly. "Not when it comes to this. Not when it comes to us. I want to choose for myself, remember? And I choose you. I've always chosen you."

Your heart felt like it might burst from your chest, a mix of joy and disbelief coursing through you. "And your mother? What did she say?"

Jacaerys' smile widened, his eyes sparkling with barely contained happiness. "She said yes. She said she's known for years that this was where my heart lay. And she... she approves. Of you. Of us."

You felt tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the enormity of what Jacaerys was offering. A future together, open and acknowledged, no longer hidden in stolen moments and meaningful glances.

"I... I don't know what to say." you murmured, your free hand coming up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm. 

He leaned in closer, his forehead resting gently against yours. "Say yes," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "Say you'll let me court you, that you'll consider a future with me. That's all I ask."

The joy that lit up Jacaerys' face was radiant, brighter than any dawn you'd ever seen. He pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. You could feel his heart racing, matching the rhythm of your own.Your throat tightened, words catching somewhere deep inside as you stared into Jacaerys' eyes. His forehead pressed softly against yours, his breath warm and steady, while your heart raced uncontrollably. The truth of everything he had said wrapped around you, too much to process all at once. You had dreamed of this – of him – but you never imagined hearing it, feeling it, like this.

Your chest swelled with emotions too big to contain, the joy so sharp it almost hurt. A smile tugged at your lips, so wide it made your face ache, but you couldn’t stop it. You didn’t want to stop it.

Jacaerys was offering you everything. A future, his heart, and the freedom to choose him. His words echoed in your mind, soft but sure: I choose you.

You didn’t know what to say, didn’t trust yourself to speak without your voice cracking. All you could feel was the overwhelming happiness surging through you. He wanted this. He wanted you. The enormity of it all made you dizzy.

Without thinking, without planning, you moved – instinct, just like he said. Your hand tightened slightly on his chest, pulling him closer, your heart hammering as you closed the distance between you.

Jacaerys barely had time to react before your lips met his, soft and sudden, a rush of emotion driving the kiss. His breath hitched in surprise, but it only took a heartbeat for him to respond, his free hand sliding to the small of your back, gently drawing you closer.

His fingers pressed gently into your skin, grounding you both in the here and now, in the quiet certainty of what was happening between you. What started as a tender, soft press of lips quickly became more – a release of everything unsaid, everything that had simmered between you for so long. His mouth moved against yours with urgency, one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other tightening its hold on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

Your hands found their way into his hair, fingers tangling in the dark strands, tugging slightly, and you felt Jacaerys’ breath hitch against your lips. His mouth parted, and without hesitation, you responded in kind, the kiss growing wetter, more breathy as his tongue slid against yours in a slow, tantalizing dance. The taste of him, warm and intoxicating, made your knees weak, but Jacaerys held you steady, his body pressed firmly against yours.

The room felt smaller now, the air charged with the heat between you. His touch was everywhere – his hands roving across your back, your sides, as if trying to memorize the shape of you. You gasped softly into the kiss as his fingers trailed down your spine, the sensation sending shivers through your body. 

Every breath was shared, every movement synchronizing as you poured every unspoken word, every hidden desire, into this moment. His lips, soft and insistent, claimed yours with a raw, palpable need, his tongue flicking gently against yours, teasing, exploring, drawing small, breathless sounds from you that only spurred him on.

The world outside ceased to exist, fading into nothingness as Jacaerys pressed you back against the nearest wall, his body solid and warm against yours. His kiss grew more passionate, his breath ragged as he angled his head, deepening the connection between you. The taste of him, mixed with the faint scent of salt and wind from the sea, enveloped your senses, making you dizzy with want.

You could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours as his lips parted further, the kiss becoming open, wetter, more desperate. He kissed you like a man who had waited years to do so – his lips, his tongue, exploring you with a reverence that made your pulse race, made your skin burn.

His hand slid down your side, lingering at your hip before pulling you flush against him, and the feel of his body pressed against yours made a low, breathy sigh escape your throat. You felt Jacaerys respond, a soft groan rumbling deep in his chest as his hand slipped beneath your tunic, his fingers skimming the bare skin at your waist. The touch was gentle, reverent, but it sent a fire through your veins.

He broke the kiss for only a moment, his forehead resting against yours, both of you gasping for air, breaths mingling in the heated space between you. His eyes, dark with desire, searched yours, and in that brief moment of silence, you saw everything – years of unspoken feelings, of longing, of love. 

Jacaerys' breath came in short, ragged bursts, his forehead still pressed against yours as he tried to steady himself. His fingers, warm and trembling, grazed the skin at your waist, the sensation grounding you both in this fragile, beautiful moment. 

When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse, breathy, but filled with a raw honesty that made your heart clench. "I used to believe," he whispered, his lips brushing yours as he spoke, "that you were a gift... sent by the gods." His thumb traced a slow, reverent circle along your hip, his gaze searching your face like he was still in awe that you were here, with him. "Even when I was little, I thought... maybe they made you just for me. Maybe that's why... I could never stay away."

His words wrapped around your heart, tightening with a tenderness that made your breath hitch. Jacaerys had always been a steady presence, always at your side, but to hear it now – to hear that he'd felt this way, even as children – left you speechless. 

His hand cupped your cheek, thumb brushing lightly over your skin as he stared into your eyes. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he murmured, voice shaking with emotion. "Longer than I even understood."

His confession hung in the air between you, soft and fragile, yet so filled with meaning it made the weight of his feelings unmistakable. You could see it in his eyes – the years of unspoken longing, of a quiet yearning that had finally spilled over.  

As Jacaerys held you, his breath fanning over your lips, you became aware of the subtle scent clinging to him – the faint, calming fragrance of freshly picked lavender, mingling with the salty tang of the sea. It was an unexpected but gentle contrast, delicate yet grounding. The lavender must have been tucked in his pocket, its presence weaving into the natural scent of him, a gentle reminder of the day you told him it suited him.

Jacaerys’ thumb continued to trace slow circles against your cheek, his eyes still fixed on yours with a look so tender it made your heart ache. The lavender lingered, soft and sweet, mixing with the warmth of his body, the salt of the sea. It was intoxicating, wrapping around you like the feel of his arms, like the weight of his confession.

In the quiet of your chambers, with the soft glow of candles casting a warm light around you, you and Jacaerys held onto each other, savoring the start of something new, something that had been years in the making. And somewhere in the distance, as if sensing the shift in the very air around you, you could have sworn you heard the contented rumble of a dragon, approving of the love that had finally been acknowledged between its rider and the one who had stolen both their hearts.

taglist: @smurfelle @elliaze @sillylittlepenguin181818 @lustrz-anna @lovelyteenagebeard @misshale21 @cecestea @n4tsha @inspirationquxxn @rin588 @anoravx @bbubbllejisoo

gc lovelies tags: @benjinotes @earth4angels @xxselenite @eldrith @princessbellecerise @bryscorner @v3lary0ns @vee-mage @softspiderling @hxtd @divinesolas @cregnstark @bucksplum @cregan-starks

[peachesofteal]

Simple Math / Part Seventeen

Simple Math masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader - AO3 - 4K words Tags: 18+ mdni. nurse!reader. PTSD, references and descriptions of domestic violence , grooming, manipulation, pregnancy. Simon's back story. Trauma. Bun opens up a bit more. Domesticity, feelings of anxiety, self doubt. Simon is a nervous dad. Emotional confessions.

“It’s Beth.” Simon wipes the countertop, chasing little dirty fingerprints with a wet cloth, before fixing a hesitant set of eyes on yours.

“That’s pretty… I like it.” There’s something odd about his expression, something haunted almost, a deep, dark well filled to the brim with rancid, stagnant water. You sense it immediately. “What’s wrong?”

He motions to the chair and slides your mug into your waiting hands. “Sit.”

“Simon?”

“It was my sister in law’s name. My brother’s wife.” Was. Your throat goes dry, muscles tensing.

“Was?” He pulls your fingers into his, cradled in the palm of his hand, thumb rubbing circles into your skin, over and over on a loop. A mechanism of comfort, connection. A thread stitch into the fabric between your heart and his.

“They died, sweetheart. My family… I lost them.” Grief, a shared experience you know now, froths in the pit of your heart. You tremble, he holds you steady, though it should be the other way around.

“What… what happened?” He sighs, dragging your palm to his lips.

“Let’s sit down on the couch.”

He holds you as he talks, diaphragm rumbling against your ear. You’re laid on his chest, unable to see his face, watch his expressions, but for this, you don’t feel the urge to dissect each one.

You’re content against him. Listening. Mourning.

There’s a swath of silence afterwards, and then he clears his throat. “So, I was dead. Dead until I met Johnny, I think. And then everything changed.” Johnny’s words from weeks and weeks ago make more sense, Simon’s actions and reactions rapidly gaining clarity. “When we found you, I saw it, the look in your eyes. It was the same one that used to haunt my mother’s.”

“You saved her.” He burrows his face in your neck and shakes his head.

“I did what I could to piece them back together. Helped get Tommy clean and on his feet, got rid of the old man for good, but the damage… the way she suffered, it was irreversible. The best I could do was be there as much as often as possible.” You comb through his hair, short strands of silk like Penny’s, and hold him close. “I promised myself, when I met Johnny, when we fell in love, I’d do better by my own family. For him, and then by Penny. And now you. Promised I wouldn’t become him.” Your heart clenches, squeezing in on itself. “Violence may have been a part of my job, but it wasn’t a part of me.” His fingers dance along your spine until they reach your chin, tilting you back to meet his gaze. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.” You whisper, leaning into his touch. He doesn’t need to ask for your trust, he already has it.

“Johnny thinks I’ve got a bit of a savior complex now, but I want you to know… that’s not what this is, bunny.”

“I know,” you clear your throat, fighting through the thick of emotion building there, accumulating in heaps, “I know that.”  

“But we do need to talk about him, you know that?” Darkness creeps along the wispy, dream-like cocoon the two of you built on the couch, and you push it away, try to banish it, basking in the comfort of his arms instead.

“I can’t, I… right now it feels like I’m in a dream where nothing hurts and nothing can scare me or hurt me, and I don’t-“

“You’re not in a dream, bunny. That’s your reality. This is real. Nothing can, or will, hurt you, scare you. No one will ever touch you again.”

“I need more time. Please.” Simon sighs, but doesn’t push, and the two of you lay there, together, suspended in comforting silence. For another moment, your world is a dream. A safe, beautiful dream, where happy endings are real, where love stretches on for eternity, unconditional, limitless, unbreakable.

You’re so different now, stark changes shocking to the girl you once knew, the one who doubled back on her routes to and from work, the one that walked everywhere with her hackles up. Little pieces of black rot now turned a blinding white, a brilliant beam seeking to shine on the whole of your life.

It’s a dream.

One you won’t easily surrender.

“I was really young.” It comes during a lapse in conversation, practically a blurt, an interruption pushing heat to your cheeks. Expelled from your mind, your body without choice, cracks appearing in the preservation that you’ve so defiantly clung to. You have to tell them, eventually. You have to break it all apart, let them see. Johnny’s mouth opens, and Simon’s hand darts to his wrist faster than a snake could strike, a clear signal. Don’t speak. “Obviously now, looking back on it, I realize I was groomed, or I guess, easily influenced. He was older, and I graduated early, started college early. I was in my second year when I turned eighteen. My mom,” the lump in your throat nearly chokes you until you swallow it down, “my mom busted her ass for me. I went to college on scholarships and her hard work.” Metal clanks against ceramic, forks settling on the edges of plates. “Anyway, everyone always thought I was a know-it-all and pretty awkward. We weren’t officially like, together right away but it was pretty serious from the day I met him. Eventually… he started to change me. Change my goals. He even manipulated my career path.”

“What did you go to school for?” Simon asks casually, head tilted.

“Bioscience. I wanted to be a doctor, so I thought it would transition well for med school. Thought I could become a surgeon.” You were a girl then; you know that now. Naïve, misguided by a hand that sought to control you, not love you as you hoped. It’s embarrassing, baring this, showing these broken bits and pieces to them, shattered shards of a mirror never glued back together.

“What happened?”

“He did.” Johnny squeezes your hand. “Made it to pre-med but ended up leaving and starting a nursing program instead. It’s what he wanted, and by then, I couldn’t say no.”

“But ye didnae want it, to be a nurse.”

“No. I didn’t. I love my job now, of course, and I’m happy in it, but originally, I wanted something else. He tricked me, in all honesty. Showed me something that wasn’t real, reeled me in, and then revealed his true colors.” You shudder. “The first time… the first time it happened, I shook it off, forgave him. I-“ the memory is still so strong, it stuns you. The blood from your busted lip is fresh on your tongue, sting on the side of your face turning to a blooming ache.

“Bunny?” Johnny’s grip moves to your elbow, strong, but not too tight. An anchor. You shake your head.

“Sorry.”

“Ye’re alright, ye can stop if-“

“No, I… I want to share these things with you. It feels like I’m supposed to, like you should know me… like this.”

“We already know you, sweetheart. Don’t push yourself.” Simon’s tone is serious, and you nod.

“It’s embarrassing, looking back on it and realizing how bad it was, how bad I let it get. How I let him cut me off from everyone, change my career, squash me like a bug.” You laugh, but it’s empty.

“Ye did nothin’ wrong,” Johnny’s lips press together, muscles in his jaw straining, “was never yer fault.” You don’t answer, just trace the woodgrain of the table, texture moving beneath your fingers. The conversation is draining you, leeching light away like a horizon swallowing the last of the sun.

“He’s rich. Like, fuck you money rich. Rich like make problems go away rich, and his job…” your head shakes again. It’s the most you’ve ever said, heavy buried secrets finally dug up, resurrected, the truth trembles through your bones. “He has resources. Has chased me across the globe more than once. My only saving grace is that when he has to work, he has to work, and it’s usually for long chunks of time.”

“I know you’ve said you’re not really sure, but did he ever tell you what his job entails?”

“He’s in the military. Some sort of security work, department of defense, or something. He never really talked about it.” Johnny shifts in his seat, antsy, and you shrug. “He kept that part of his life very, very private. There was even a room in the house that was always locked.” Your head is heavy, lead upon your shoulders, and Johnny tucks his arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

“I know this is hard bun, but ye’re so brave for us. Lettin’ us know ye this way. I’m proud of ye.” He murmurs, lips to your forehead, and you fully relax, wrapping around his middle.

“I’m tired.” You whisper, eyes closing, and he rubs your back.

“Let’s get ye to bed then.”

“Your child is too big for me to carry!” You announce, hand on your hip, little backpack straps looped around your arm. Simon closes the door behind you, chuckling, and Penny plops onto the floor. She goes to a nursery day program now a few days a week, something that was a contentious subject in the house for far too long, opinions and arguments ping ponging over your head until the decision was finally made.

“It’s not safe.”

“Ye cannae keep ‘er locked up here forever, love.”

“Why not?” Simon bounced Penny against his chest, unimpressed look on both their faces, so alike you almost busted out laughing.

“Because she’s a child. She needs to be w’other children, not just us.” Johnny brings his free hand to his lips, squeezing Simon’s wrist. “I know ye’re scared.” Simon’s not the only one who’s scared, you thought. Phillip lurked at the edge of your mind, worry that he might find Penny plagued you, even though they both assured that wasn’t their main concern.

“She’s too little.”

“Simon. We agreed on this,” Johnny gives him a sharp look, “do yer research, find the best one. Ye know this needs to happen, for her. She needs to make friends, learn how to interact with kids her own age. Ye know this.”

“Fine.”

“She cannae be, not m’wee lamb.”

“She is.” You rub your shoulder. “Sheesh.” Penny’s stomach gurgles at your feet, and Simon grimaces.

“There’s a bug goin’ around the kids, teacher told me today.”

“Not surprising. Nurseries are little petri dishes.” You straighten your back, rolling your shoulder, and wince.

“Hurts?” Simon’s thumb digs into the soft spot there, and your lashes flutter.

“Maybe ye need a hot bath,” Johnny suggests, and Simon ushers the two of you up the stairs.

“I’ve got Pen. Go relax.”

“This is nice.” Johnny soaps your back, lavender and vanilla steam swirling around in the bathroom as you lean against him, his chest to your back.

“Aye.” The cloth drags across your chest, teasing your nipples, and you revel in his touch, soaking in every second he gives you, the brush of his cheek against yours, his lips on your neck. “Like havin’ ye all to myself sometimes.” You blink.

“Does it bother you? When we’re not all together?”

“No. Ye have a relationship wit’ me, and wit’ Simon, and we have a relationship all together. No one is the same. I like it.”

“Me too.” You settle again, loose and tender in the bath, soaped hands running up and down your back, kneading your shoulders, releasing the tension coiled in your bones. You groan.

“Feel good then?”

“Yeah.” He presses a hand over your heart with a deep breath, before he takes another.

And then one more.

“What’s wro-“

“I love ye bun. Wholly. Think ‘ve loved ye since the day I opened my eyes to ye leaning over the bed in hospital.” You turn, twisting to face him, and he dabs your nose with his thumb. “I dinnae have any expectations of ye, or yer feelings, but I had to be honest. I had to tell ye.” The confession fights its way forward, begging to be let out, to be freed.

Tell him. Tell him the truth. Tell him you love them, that they’re your light, that they’ve chased the darkness away and replaced it with the sun.

You can’t.

Instead, you rest your forehead against his, syncing your breathing, sharing the moment, holding onto him so tight in case he slips away.

“I can’t say it.” You whisper, and he nods. “But that doesn’t mean… it doesn’t mean it’s not there. I’m just… I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“An’ that’s okay. I’ll wait, I’ll wait for ye as long as ye need.” There’s no pressure, no demands, just Johnny and his arms, his understanding and patience, his love.

You blink back tears and crash your lips to his. “Thank you.”

Your stomach is what wakes you.  

Something it in is burning, tossing bile around, the sensation strong enough your lips curl, and you try to draw a deep breath through your nose.

You wriggle, trying to pull free from where you’re tangled up in Simon and Johnny, carefully and slow, hoping to avoid waking them though you know even in their dreams, they sleep with one eye open.

 Still, you manage to make it to the bathroom before feet are padding across the carpet on your heels.

You sink to your knees in front of the toilet, stomach bubbling, sending the scorching remnants of dinner up your throat.

The door clicks open. “No, get out. I don’t want you to see-“ you gag again, tap turning on at the sink, a cold washcloth folding over your neck.

“Shhh,” Simon murmurs, rubbing your back, “get it all out.”

“Oh god,” another wave swells, and your muscles tense, body expelling bits of bile and not much else.

“That’s the way, good girl.”

“This is gross.” You gasp. “You should go back to bed.”

“I’ve seen way worse than you puking, sweetheart.”

“She alright?” Johnny half yells from the bedroom and you groan. The guilt of him having to maneuver himself out of bed, still not one hundred percent healthy, still not back to full strength, draws a shiver from your spine.

“I’m fine, don’t come in here!” Your stomach pitches, fingers tightening against your thighs, but nothing comes up, again and again, until everything settles and you’re breathing deeply, steady, back straight.

“Let’s get you some water.” There’s no point in arguing with him. He’s going to do what he wants to do when it comes to taking care of you, you know that now. It’s painfully clear as he tries to help you drink from the glass, and then puts toothpaste on your toothbrush.

“I’m fine.” You assure weakly, but he only watches you, concerned.

“Think it’s the nursery bug?”

“Probably.” You sag, energy drained completely, and he steadies you, cupping your cheek. His touch is cool, and you lean into it, savoring the reprieve it brings against your throbbing temples.

“Want to go back to bed?”

“What if I throw up again?” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll jus’ clean it up.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You glance up at the timid mouse of a nurse, brand new, fingers clutched around a tablet like she’s drowning and it’s her life vest.

“What’s up?”

“Can you… can you look at these orders for me?” She looks terrified, and it tells you everything you need to know. She’s probably caught a mistake.

Baby nurses begin their careers in a delicate position. They’re overwhelmed, fresh off a whirlwind of orientation, overloaded with policy and procedure, and depending on their preceptor, either somewhat prepared or completely lost. Pitting a baby nurse against a provider, even a first-year resident, is like sending a lamb in to confront a lion. The result is usually tears.

She hands you the tablet and you spot it immediately. Incorrect dosage.

“Good catch.” You reassure, coaxing a small smile, and she nods.

“What do I do?”

“We go find the provider and clarify the dosage.” You’re not going to leave it up to her, alone, hang her out to dry and probably get run over by whatever moron ordered it in the first place, who happens to be-

Marshall.

Your eyes couldn’t roll any harder. “The pharmacy is also very on top of seeing errors like this, but it’s good you’ve noticed too, for the patient and yourself. Liability for things like this can be very tricky.” She nods again, trailing behind you, brand new squeaky sneakers echoing your own steps.

You can’t stop the sigh that escapes you when you find him, leaned up against a wall, arms crossed, smirking, cocking his head at your companion. “What’s up?”

“Can you take a look at this for me?” You purposefully zoom in on the meds tab, practically painting a bullseye around his error. He scoffs, defensive immediately, dismissive, before he takes a closer look, jaw clenched.

“That’s my mistake.” You blink. Marshall rarely ever takes responsibility so gracefully. Your eyebrow lifts.

“Care to fix it?”

“Of course.” His agreement is punctuated with a smile, though it’s off kilter.

“You can go,” you nod to the nurse, “good job.” Her eyes dart between you and Marshall, and without another word, scampers off.

“She’s new?” His usual interest in new nurses is less enthusiastic than ever.

You hate Marshall. He’s a scumbag. But he’s also been your coworker since day one, and you can’t help yourself. “What’s up with you?”  

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve never owned up to a mistake that quickly, and you didn’t even make some smart-ass remark. Or berate her. Or give me an attitude.” He winces.

“It’s nothing.” But it doesn’t seem like nothing. It seems like something is wrong, like he’s sad, or depressed, and try as you might, your bleeding heart can’t walk away.

“What’s wrong.” You phrase a statement, a demand, instead of a question, and he blows a frustrated breath.

“It’s… I’m seeing someone.” Your eyes go wide.

“Who?” Please don’t say a nurse, please don’t say a nurse, please-

“Anna. From radiology.”

“Oh my god. The cupcake girl?” Anna was a fan favorite. Not only was she kind, but she was also quick with her reads, and baked cupcakes for the entire floor almost once a month. As far as radiologists go, she was better than most.

“Yeah.”

“Okay…”

“I really like her but… she’s always been aware of my reputation and is trying to take it slow. Too slow.” You could lecture him with a million reasons why she’s in the right, but it doesn’t seem like he’s got the resolve to handle it.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s dragging her feet. Doesn’t want to hang out more than once a week, rarely stays the night. I’ve been to her place a handful of times, but that’s it.”

“How long has it been?”

“Two months.” You laugh.

“That’s it?”

“It’s a long time for me!” You hold your hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, but seriously. Two months is no time at all. Have you discussed the… reluctance with her?” He seems uneasy, and for the first time, you’re not sure if you enjoy watching him squirm.

“Yeah. She says she’s happy, but isn’t trying to jump into anything,” his air quotes carry a whiff of the condescending asshole you know too well. This conversation couldn’t be timelier, and you think back to what you told Johnny the other night.

“Just because she’s taking it slow doesn’t mean her feelings for you aren’t there. You have to respect that. If she’s still putting up with you after two months, I’d bet she’s just being cautious. Getting hurt sucks.” He nods thoughtfully. “Give her the time she’s asking for, and don’t give up.”

Don’t give up.

The sentiment twists a knife lodged deep in your heart. Is that what will happen to you? Will they give up? Get tired of waiting for you to spill all your secrets, get tired of waiting for you to take the final step? To tell them you love them?

Get tired of waiting for you to let them use your real name?

“I didn’t expect her, didn’t expect to feel this way.” The mask comes down, revealing a hopelessly lovesick heart, the depth of it shining in his eyes.

“I don’t think anyone ever does expect it. That’s the surprising thing about love, I guess.” You sway, a palm pressed to the wall as your hand flattens over your stomach.

“You alright?” Marshall’s voice is far away as you breathe through your nose, trying to fend off the nausea tightening your throat.

“Sorry, I’ve been a bit under the weather. Think I’ve got a bug or something.” Your stomach roils in warning, and you barely grit out an apology before dashing away.

Just in time to toss your breakfast up in the toilet.

“I’m fine.”

“I heard you in the toilet. You didn’t sound fine, and you shouldn’t be working if you’re sick.” Your manager shakes her head like she’s disappointed, and you glare. You both know if you had called this morning talking about a stomach bug, she would have told you to suck it up unless you were actively vomiting.

“Look around. Do you see an excess of nurses on the floor?”

“We’ll manage. Or call someone in.” You shake your head.

“We’re already way past policy ratios.” You bite your tongue when safe nearly slips out, not wanting to piss her off. That’s the union’s job.

“At least go sit down or something. Take a break. Come back in twenty minutes and let me know how you feel.”

Your closet is cozy, and for once during the day, unoccupied. The nausea has subsided, for now, and you shoot a text to the guys, asking about Penny. If you feel like this, you can’t imagine how she feels.

You curl up and imagine you’re home instead, maybe in bed with a sleeve of crackers and some soda, warm chest at your back, a hand stroking over your hip. Maybe you’d have some soup, maybe the three of you would watch a movie after Pen went down for bed. You start to drift in the domestic fantasy, sleeping curling itself like a blanket over your shoulders, until you’re startled by the vibration of your phone, foot kicking forward in a jolt against a shelf.

A box falls to the floor.

HCG strips.

You stare at it for a long time, numbers and dates and weeks mashing together, calculations getting lost in the fray.

You’re not…

No.

Ridiculous. Not even possible. You’re on the pill. Religiously.

You have the nursery bug that Pen brought home. Get a grip.

Still…

You use the fifth-floor bathroom, one of the only single occupant toilets in the whole damn hospital, nausea now coming from a completely different source.

The timer on your phone is incredibly slow, or maybe it’s just time itself, the world turning in slow motion, every second elongated into turbulent silence, too many thoughts, too many feelings, too much of everything to tell where one ends and the other begins.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Panic.

Sadness.

Grief.

It’s grief that is the strongest. Grief for something that Phillip stole, mourning for something that was once so close, so real, and then gone in an instant.

If you close your eyes, you can still feel his boot in your stomach. The press of a steel toe, jammed beneath your ribs, wild, deranged eyes staring down at you in a rage.

But-

Buried so, so far beneath the crushing weight of it all, there is a bright little pocket of sunshine. A small little sliver of light, beams of hope stretching for the sky, warmth spilling over until your hands tremble with the conflict warring inside you.

Nothing has changed, but everything could.

The timer goes off with a shrill chime, and you lean over the sink to where the small strip sits on top of a cup.

A bold pink line.

And then another, more faint, but certainly there. A simple equation, one plus one equals two. Simple math.

Tangible. Present.

Pregnant.

[bpmiranda]

Fic idea for Hugh ready is needy for her man and they're in a new relationship they're taking things slow ofc but she doesn't want to be too overbearing but he knew all along and loves it just as much

Take It Slow (Hugh Jackman) nsfw

A/N: purely fictional, age gap, f!reader in her early 20s, hugh is 55, fluffy, smut, oral f!receiving, unprotected sex

It has been about six months since you and Hugh connected on the set of Deadpool and Wolverine. You were a makeup artist, incredibly wide eyed and always so very flustered around Hugh. Something Ryan had noticed and it was the Deadpool actor that put a bug in Hugh’s ear about asking you out. “She’s quite young for someone like me, pal.” Hugh had said with a light laugh, looking over at you as you were setting up your station for him.

It was almost inevitable, however. You were incredibly charming once you got past your initial bouts of shyness. Hugh loved how he was able to make you laugh, how he was able to have a conversation with you despite the age gap. “Speaking of,” Hugh redirected the conversation as you gently wiped the fake blood off his face. “Do you like coffee?” He asked and you felt your cheeks warm up as you nodded, growing shy once again because Hugh Jackman was asking you about coffee. You were young, but you knew exactly what that meant.

Six months later, you were tangled in a quite passionate relationship. You knew you were the clingy type of girlfriend, it was something your exes had never failed to make you feel bad about, but Hugh didn’t seem to mind. Of course, you were toning it way down seeing as you didn’t want to come off overbearing. The two of you had agreed to take it slow considering he had just gone through a divorce and he didn’t want the press to begin running wild stories about you.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got an interview today, but my day’s pretty much clear after that.” Hugh called as you were brushing your teeth in his bathroom. You had spent the night for the first time. “Do you want to run and grab some breakfast with me?”

You want to say yes, but you remind yourself to give him space. Take things slow. “I was actually thinking of going back home, I’ve got a few errands to run.” You answered after rinsing your mouth.

Hugh came into the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe as he watched you wash your face and look at him timidly over the fluffy towel. “You’ve got no reason to be so distant, darling.” He chuckled, reaching for your hand and bringing your knuckles up to his lips. “Come to breakfast with me.” He insists and you hesitate.

“What about the photographers?” You ask, wrapping your arms around his waist as you rest your chin on his chest. “I’d hate to cause a scandal.”

Hugh smirked as he held you close to him with one arm and peered over your head at your backside, admiring the view of your ass in your pajama shorts. “You’re a walking scandal, sweetheart. Nothing we could do to avoid that.” He teases and you shyly tuck your face in his chest where you feel the vibration of his laugh. “C’mon then,” He’s guiding you to the bedroom and you feel those familiar butterflies swarming in your belly. “I can have my dinner for breakfast.” He says into the top of your head before he has you sit on the end of the bed. His lips find yours when he kneels in front of you and you kiss him back as his large hands smooth up your thighs and hold your hips as you make out.

With ease, he lifts you up and moves you further back on the bed, making you grin against his lips. “You’re so strong, Hugh.” You whisper, always in awe of the muscle he’s built up at his age. You hands rub over his biceps and his toned, hairy chest as he hovers over you, observing you with a smug smile.

“You don’t have to keep pretending with me, sweet girl.” He says as he kisses your neck softly, his beard tickles your skin and you giggle lightly, your fingers scratching through his greying beard. “I like that you always want to be around me. Makes me feel good to have you with me all the time.”

You chew your lip nervously and he nudges your nose with his, urging to tell him what’s on your mind. “You don’t want to take things slow?” You ask quietly and he shakes his head.

“Think I’ve gone about as slow as I can with you.” He sighed, caressing your side while petting your soft hair gently. “I need you and I don’t care who knows.”

Your face warms up and you nod, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips before he begins to pull your top off. “I always want to be with you,” You sigh as he kisses your chest and your belly. Hugh smirks against your skin and he tugs your pajama shorts down, sighing as you spread yourself open for him with your fingers. His lips press to your knuckles before he moves your hand and he licks your slit, the taste of you so addicting. You moan softly as his hands hold your thighs open, gripping them as he makes a mess of your cunt with his drool which mixes with your arousal. “Always want you.” You murmur, biting your lip as he pulls off his shorts and pumps his cock to harden it completely.

“I know it, sweetheart.” He says as he gently rubs his head through your folds. You shudder at the feeling of him, so thick and long as he fills you up. “Fuck.” He draws in a slow breath and he carefully settles his weight on top of you. You hold tightly onto his shoulders, gasping softly as he drags his cock in and out of you at a slow pace, making your feel every inch. “Can’t hardly get enough of you myself.” He groans, dipping his head down and kissing you softly as he fucks himself into your tight pussy. Your brows arch from the pressure he puts on your cervix and you wrap your arms securely around his neck as you take his whole length.

“Oh, Hugh!” You whine, your back arches, pressing into his firm chest while he begins marking your neck, growling lowly as your walls constrict around him so tightly he could blow his load right there. “You-You’re gon-na make me c-cum!” You mewl as your thighs tighten around his waist and he groans approvingly, driving his cock harder into you, pushing through the resistance of your closing walls until your juices are gushing around his cock. “Ah, Hugh, yes!”

Hugh suddenly lifts you up with ease, making you gasp as you tighten your hold around his shoulders, and he sits on his knees as he sinks you down on his cock, bouncing you like a rag doll. “Tell me you want me.” He orders, nipping at your neck and collarbone as you cry softly into his hair. “Go on, baby, tell me how clingy you are.”

“Oh, Hugh, I want you, I want you all the time. I wanna be on your cock all day.” You whine and lace your fingers through his hair, tugging harshly as you feel him throb inside you at your words. ‘Fuck’ He swears and you bite your lip as his tip kisses your cervix, pressing into it harsher and harsher. “I want to be with you all the time, please, I love you.” You blurt out and you gasp as he grunts loudly, pinning you onto his cock as he bottoms out deep inside your cunt. It spills out of you, mixing with your own juices, and coating his balls as he groans into your chest while you caress his hair. You take a few deep breaths before trying to backtrack your lust fueled confession. “I didn’t-”

“I love you, sweet girl.” Hugh interrupts, smirking up at you and making your face grow hot. “Love you so much.” He sighs, lying you down and kissing your forehead. “I don’t mind that you’re clingy, alright? It strokes my ego to have a pretty thing like you all over me.” He teases and you laugh softly.

“Can I go to the interview with you?” You ask shyly, your index finger tracing the hairs on his chest and you look back up at him. He’s smiling down at you and he nods when your eyes land on his.

“I’ll take you everywhere with me.” Hugh murmurs, kissing your lips softly. “Let me show you off.” He says into your neck and you laugh, rolling your eyes and knowing you’re not going to make it to breakfast.

🏷️: @dontfeedthebigbadwolf @peterparkernotfound @httpsells @evasmlp @ayatotiddies @thatlittlered @seasonofthenerd @littlemisscantloveyouback @scorpiosaintt @simpingfor-wakasa @spencerswh0r3 @thatweirdtheaternerd12 @shybluebirdninja @iamburdened

[norrisainz33]

Glimpse || OP81

☆ summary: oscar’s long time girlfriend is rather private and always has been despite her family’s fame. slowly but surely fans start to discover more about her!

☆ pairing: oscar piastri x laeno!sibling!private!reader

☆ fc & warnings: various girls from pinterest & slightly suggestive, you are responsible for the content you consume

☆ requested: yes! sorry it took my literally forever. thank you for taking the time to request 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

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ynlaeno: festivals with my favorite sister means we get to serve fits again ✨

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lilymhe: you are so hot

ynlaeno: no baby girl that’s you

alexandrasaintmleux: the world really is your runway

ynlaeno: you are one to talk 🤤

yourbff: bestie when are you going to be a model and grace the world with your beauty

ynlaeno: sooner than you think!

oscarpiastri: 🤤🤤🤤 god you look good baby

ynlaeno: thank you handsome 😘

landonorris: gross get a room

oscarpiastri: we have and you were mad about that too

landonorris: yeah bc your drivers room is connected to mine!!

ynlaeno: boys please 🫠

nicoleaeno: i love you sissy 🤍

ynlaeno: i love you more

mclarenf1: the most iconic sister duo ever

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f1gossip: everyone’s favorite wag, y/n, has been featured in her sister nicole’s most recent dance video!! this is the first time she’s been seen in a youtube video so this is big news and seems she’s as talented of a dancer as nicole!! maybe this is a sign that y/n’s finally going to share more

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user1: omg she can dance????? ugh i’m in love

user2: wondering if there’s anything y/n can’t do

user3: i wish we got to see her more often

user7: ugh me too y/n seems so cool

user4: i’m so jealous of their talent

user5: oscar is a lucky man , what i wouldn’t give for one chance

user8: no fr oscar is so lucky i mean look at her

user10: i’m begging one of you guys to get accepted as a follower on her insta so we can see what’s there

user13: working on it 😭

user9: y/n will forever be my favorite

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oscarpiastri: a week off means i get to follow the love of my life around and support her as she crushes the NY fashion week runway. i’m so proud of you y/n 🧡

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user1: FASHION WEEK?!

user2: she walked at fashion week?!?!?!? oh my GOD

user3: oscar im going to take your girlfriend

lewishamilton: congrats y/n! absolutely loved the collection

ynlaeno: thank you lew 😭

user5: y/n in her model era! lewis has competition fr

ynlaeno: osco 😭😭😭 thank you sweet boy

oscarpiastri: i love you gorgeous

ynlaeno: i love you more

oscarpiastri: simply not possible sweetheart

georgerussell63: and what can’t she do 💅🏻

ynlaeno: drive an f1 car!

georgerussell63: fair but you are good at karting! you even beat oscar last time!

user3: GEORGE DROPPING MORE LORE. she is good at karting??? y/n please let us know more about you im begging

mclarenf1: we love our fashion icon ynlaeno

user6: i knew this girl could dress but who knew she could own the runway too wtf

user7: y/n crumbs , thank you oscar

nicolelaeno has posted to her story

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user18: IS THAT Y/N?! SHE SINGS?!

user14: why is it that every day i learn of a new skill y/n possesses

user4: MOTHER Y/N

oscarpiastri: i can’t wait to see this 😍

nicolelaeno: it’s going to be a good one!! y/n FINALLY agreed to sing for me 🤍

yourbff: yesssss she finally decided to sing for a video?!

nicolelaeno: it only took a lot of bribing, begging and pleading!! ms girl loves her privacy but she’s too talented to not share

user16: just fell to the floor

ynlaeno: 👀 i’m so nervous for everyone to see this

nicolelaeno: don’t be, you’re so talented y/n/n 🫶🏻

nicolelaeno: plus the internet literally loves you

lilymhe: my talented bestie back at it again

user7: more y/n crumbs! thank you nicole

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f1gossip: this week on what lore are we going to learn about y/n: her and oscar were spotted out and about at an art gallery, she was in the background of an archery video that Nicole posted recently as well as a video from Nicole of y/n signing her favorite high school musical song and a video of her reading to a class of children has also surfaced. what do you all think about the ever elusive and private y/n being featured more often on social media?

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user1: i feel like in the past month alone i’ve learned more about y/n than i ever had before despite her and oscar being together for so long

user5: obsessed with this. i hope we keep seeing more of y/n

user6: y/n just casually being good at everything again

user7: talented, beautiful, kind ,,,, she is the total package

user11: oscar’s really winning with her

oscarpiastri: yes, i really am

user11: oh my god it’s him

user9: just give me one chance y/n

user13: chat i love y/n so much

user12: very demure, very mindful, very cutesy

oscarpiastri has posted a story

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user9: gnawing at the bars of my encloser

user93: oh this outfit is eating

logansargeant: ok lover boy

oscarpiastri: hehe that’s me

user56: oscar your page is becoming a y/n fan account

lilymhe: god dmn i’m in love

oscarpiastri: get in line 😭

lilymhe: NO

user7: y/n crumbs, thank you oscar!

ynlaeno: omg baby 🥹🥹🥹🥹

oscarpiastri: you’re so beautiful

ynlaeno: you’re too sweet

oscarpiastri: and you’re the love of my life

ynlaeno: and you’re mine forever 🤍

alexandrasaintmleux: please tell her to send me that skirt

oscarpiastri: only if you send me leo in exchange

user8: i get it, if she was my girl id post her like this too

user66: OMG ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

user47: the way she went from 781 followers to 134,978 in 24 hours needs to be studied.

user6: this might be the most aesthetically pleasing feed i’ve ever seen

user8: the way oscar is in almost every single one of the comments saying how much he loves her and how beautiful she is 😭😭😭😭

user81: man is obsessed and i’m so here for it

user76 y/n’s biggest fan award goes to oscar 😭

user87: if my partner doesn’t hype up my every move like oscar does for y/n… i don’t want it

user32: oscar has single handedly raised my standards for men

user12: please tell me y’all saw all her story highlights of her singing

user16: don’t forget all the ones where she’s dancing 😭

user18: there’s nothing this girl can’t do

user98: i didn’t think i could love her more but honestly after this glimpse into her life,,,, i really do

ynlaeno has added to their story

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user66: HI (louder than everyone else)

user98: omg hi mother

alexandrasaintmleux: pretty girl!! i can’t wait to see you in singapore 🤍

ynlaeno: i can’t wait to see YOU!! its been too long since we had a girls night. let’s get dinner (without the boys 😉)

alexandrasaintmleux: yes please mon amor

oscarpiastri: pic credits?!

ynlaeno: thanks for the pic oscar, you’ve been trained well 😉

oscarpiastri: ☺️☺️☺️ i’m learning

ynlaeno: yes you are sweet boy

nicolelaeno: ok gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. i miss you so much

ynlaeno: i miss you too bestie. i hope college is amazing

user56: i got a notif that you posted and got so excited

landonorris: you better text me before you drop THE post

ynlaeno: it’s taken me forever to pick the right pictures but it’ll be dropping shortly

landonorris: eeeeeeeeek

user9: first story on public omg 😭😭

lilymhe: i am outrageously obsessed with you

ynlaeno: and i’m obsessed with you my gorgeous bestie

user23: HI HI HI HI HI

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ynlaeno: something so exciting happened that i had to share it with you all. welcome to the page of the future mrs. piastri 🤍

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ynlaeno: p.s. everyone say thank you lando for the impromptu photo shoot!! we love you dearly muppet 🫶🏻

oscarpiastri: thank you lando!

landonorris: you are so welcome. love you both to the moon and back ❤️

user4: no this is the cutest interaction i’ve ever seen im sick

user37: lando taking the pictures of them has me violently crying

user68: knowing lando took these pictures….. this might be the best thing to ever happen to me

oscarpiastri: i can’t wait to marry my best friend!! i love you my fiancé

ynlaeno: FIANCÉ!!! i know that’s right 🤍

user38: i love love

user27: THIS IS AN ICONIC FIRST PUBLIC POST

nicoleleano: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

ynlaeno: me too bestie

user45: icon status wow

georgerussell63: congratulations 🤍

ynlaeno: thanks georgie 🤍

lilymhe: i’m openly weeping 😭😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🤍🤍🤍

ynlaeno: 🤍🫶🏻😭

user96: she’s so real for this i’d come off private to brag about being engaged to the oscar piastri too

nicolepiastri: congrats you two 🧡

ynlaeno: thank you mama p 🤍

user46: best day ever for annoying ppl (me)

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thanks for reading!!! been busy with life and also having trouble with ideas. hoping to get back into the swing of things during fall break 🫶🏻

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[helen-with-an-a]

First Time Meeting - Beautiful Girl series

Hiiiii, so I had an anon ask me to expand on the hc about them first meeting so here it is. I hope you enjoy.

Beautiful Girl Masterlist

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Description: When Alexia first met R

Word Count: 760 (sorry she's such a shortie)

Signing for Barcelona was the best decision of your life. From the moment you joined the team, everything seemed to fall into place. You were playing the best football of your career, dazzling the fans and earning the respect of your teammates. Each game felt like a new adventure, and you were thriving under the pressure, pushing your limits and discovering just how much you were capable of. Your talent flourished in Barcelona’s iconic colours, and the city quickly became your second home.

Off the pitch, you found a group of friends who felt more like family. Together, you explored the vibrant streets of Barcelona, shared meals at local tapas bars, and celebrated victories late into the night. The camaraderie was something special, a bond forged through both triumphs and challenges, and it made your time in Spain all the more memorable.

Yet, amid all the excitement, there was something – or rather, someone – who made your experience truly unforgettable. You met her. The one who would change everything. She wasn’t just a part of your story; she became the heart of it. Although you didn’t realise it at the time, this beautiful girl would soon become the most important person in your life. Meeting her felt like fate, a perfect encounter in a city where dreams seemed to come true.

You first met Alexia on your very first full training session with Barcelona. It was a day filled with the excitement of new beginnings, but it quickly became even more memorable when you encountered her. You were making your way down the stairs that led to the training pitches, with Vicky Losada guiding you through the complex layout of the facilities. The buzz of anticipation and the rush of adrenaline from the new environment were still fresh in your mind.

Suddenly, as you rounded a corner, you collided with someone coming up the stairs. It was a brief, unexpected moment, but it felt like time slowed down. You looked up to see her standing there, an apologetic yet radiant smile on her face. Her eyes sparkled with a warmth and curiosity that instantly drew you in. “Oof,” she grunted, her voice soft and melodic.

In that instant, your heart seemed to stop. The bustling sounds of the training ground, the hurried footsteps, and the distant chatter all faded into the background. It was as though the universe had pressed pause on your life, focusing all its attention on this single, profound moment. Her smile, so genuine and welcoming, created a bubble of stillness around the two of you.

As you extended your hand to her, shaking it gently, the contact felt electrifying. There was an inexplicable pull, a magnetic connection that made the world feel both intensely real and remarkably distant at the same time. It was as if the ground beneath your feet had shifted, and in that fleeting touch, you felt an overwhelming sense of something extraordinary about to unfold.

You were fairly sure you were in love with this beautiful girl

“Ah, Alexia, this is our new signing, Y/N,” Vicky said, her voice filled with enthusiasm. She gestured towards you with a warm, welcoming smile. “Y/N, this is one of our captains, Alexia.”

As Vicky spoke, your eyes met Alexia’s, and time seemed to stretch just a bit longer. You offered a polite, somewhat nervous smile. “Hi, Alexia.” The way your name rolled off her tongue was unexpectedly mesmerising, like a gentle melody that lingered in the air. There was something about the way you said her name that made Alexia’s heart skip a beat.

Alexia’s gaze was drawn to your hand as it extended towards hers. The touch of your fingers against hers was like a spark igniting a hidden flame. The warmth and softness of your hand were both soothing and electrifying, sending a shiver cascading up her arm. As the sunlight filtered through the windows, it played with your hair, creating a delicate halo that seemed to enhance your presence, making the moment feel almost ethereal.

Her breath caught in her throat, and she experienced a sudden, intense fluttering in her chest. It was as if her heart had momentarily been caught off guard, stunned by the unexpected depth of her reaction. The shock of the touch seemed to momentarily paralyse her, making her acutely aware of the palpable connection between you. But then, her heart began to race, its rhythm quickening with an exhilaration that was both thrilling and slightly disorienting.

Alexia was fairly sure she was in love with this wonderful stranger.

[meo-eiru]

Not sure if you ever answered an ask like this, so if you did please forgive me.

But would having a child with Silas cause him to tone down his mothering tendency, or would it make them worse?

Like would Silas focus his desire to be a parent onto his child, or would it become a weird dynamic where he's acting like a mother to both Y/n and his child?

Actually no, in fact his mothering might just increase because he would think you'd need extra care after having a child.

He just has two people to mother now but that doesn't mean you'll be getting any less attention and care from him.

It was asked before so I'll answer it here as well but I think you'd need to have a long talk to him about how the family dynamics would work. He wants to mother you even after realizing his romantic and sexual attraction to you but you'd need to explain to him how the same dynamic won't work with a literal baby and I think he'd instinctively understand it too to certain degree. Both by viewing how you take care of the baby and the roles you take at taking care of it, and also the roles that falls on him.

Elven family dynamics are quite different than humans. And being a mother is something Silas idolized in his head based on the story books he read, he prefers being a "mom" over being a "dad" because based on the books he read mothers often had a deeper emotional connection with their kids, and they were the ones who took care of the baby's basic needs most of the time. He would take the title of a "dad" for the baby but I think he would still want to be a nurturing parent. Feeding the kid (with actual food), putting it to sleep, reading it stories... Those moments where he gets to form a real connection are what Silas always dreams of, a connection he can't form with elves.

[linkspooky]

SUKUNA, YOU ARE ME

Now that we're in the last few chapters of Jujutsu Kaisen it's time to do a deep dive into Yuji and Sukuna's relationship. Is what Yuji showing Sukuna here truly empathy? Does Sukuna's death and Yuji's attempt to reach out mean Sukuna was human all along? We'll discuss that, the parallels between this and Mahito, and what Sukuna's exit means for both himself and Yuji as characters underneath the cut.

I AM YOU

While this post is about the connection between Yuji and Sukuna, I'm going to say the majority of this post will be about Yuji. I stated this in a previous post, I don't believe Yuji's showing Sukuna empathy here. While his offer to let Sukuna live inside of him may be genuine, it doesn't come from a place of genuine understanding. Sukuna himself isn't written as a character to be understood or empathized with.

Look at the words Yuji said. "You are me." He's not saying he's like Sukuna, he's saying Sukuna is like him. He is projecting himself onto Sukuna. Everyone in the story does, even Kashimo and Gojo who both considers themselves the strongest of their time and who naturally should have been able to understand the isolation of being someone as incomprehensibly strong as Sukuna were just projecting their own personal experiences on them in the end.

Of course we could dig a little deeper on the topic.

How much can one person truly understand another? It doesn't have to be a curser, or a borderline incomprehensible deity like Sukuna. How much do you understand your own best friend?

Gojo mentions that he felt loved by everyone, but also that he was so beyond their understanding that they may as well have been plants in comparison to him.

Of course, Shoko herself says that Shoko was always right there next to Gojo trying to offer him support and Gojo just chose to keep her at an arm's length. Gojo also believed that only someone as equally as powerful as him like Sukuna could understand him. Only to find that Sukuna didn't care about Gojo's feelings of isolation at all, nor was he troubled by love in the least.

Gojo makes himself out to be someone so superior to other human beings that he's beyond their comprehension, but that's Sukuna. Gojo did feel understood once, by Geto in his youth. The thing was that Gojo assumed that Geto could understand him because they were both euqal in power level. However, years after the fact when Gojo has long surpassed Geto, their friendship remains exactly the same.

The one that Gojo pictures patting him on the back is adult Geto, not teenage Geto. The one who Gojo truly would have been satisfied by in the end was Geto, not Sukuna.

So maybe what makes Sukuna so impossible to understand by others is that same reason why Shoko can't be close to Geto. Sukuna can't be understood by others because he doesn't care to be understood by them.

Perhaps, understanding isn't the end all be all of human connection. Gojo accepted Geto, and he didn't accept Shoko. Maybe Shoko would have been able to understand Gojo if Gojo ever tried to be emotionally open with her the ever way he was with Geto then he might have felt understood.

Then there's Ryomen Sukuna who rejects love and every notion of humanity along with it.

Therefore empathy means nothing to Sukuna. Yuji's empathy in particular. No, Yuji's attempt to save Sukuna is more about himself than Sukuna. It's a reflection of a change of Yuji's state of mind that he's willing to accept living with a curse like Sukuna. That he'd even try to understand Sukuna. Curses that Yuji previously dismissed as not even being worth understanding.

The first time Yuji said these words was when Yuji tried to make an offer to Sukuna to let him take control of his body in order to heal Junpei, in order to be laughed at by Sukuna. It was the last time Yuji ever asked anything of Sukuna.

Remember, in the very beginning of the manga Sukuna seemed like a standard inner demon character like the nine tails, or hollow ichigo. Yuji even thinks he can use Sukuna to switch out to help fight for him like against the special grade cursed spirit. However, we and the audience quickly learns that not only is Sukuna not just some evil half of Yuji, or a convenient power up, he's an actively malevolent entity with a will that will do anything to escape.

When Yuji realizes that Mahito and Sukuna are both curses, he starts to see Sukuna as an enemy trapped within him. Something he's reminded of again and again, especially after the Shibuya Massacre. From that moment Sukuna and Mahito become like villainous foils to Yuji, the dark to his light, the enemy for him to kill.

Yuji defines Mahito and Sukuna as his opposites and his enemies By killing them, he also gives himself a role. It's Sukuna and Mahito's actions in taunting is the first time Yuji uses the language "kill" when dealing with curses.

Mahito compared himself to Yuji and by saying as a curse he mindlessly kills humans. The same way that Yuji as a sorcerer, mindlessly kills curses. They are on the opposite side of the same cycle with no end in sight.

Yuji decides to embrace this violent cycle because it at least gives him a role to play. If curses are the shadow of humanity, if they're a reflection of humanity then what exactly is you saying here?

Yuji says he is Mahito, and then immediately that he's going to kill Mahito. It's not a statement of self acceptance, or accepting your shadow, but rather a statement of self destruction. Even though Mahito is a chaotic evil curse who enjoys killing humans, Yuji's decision to throw away his humanity just for the sake of killing him isn't a healthy way.

When Mahito said "You are me" he was attempting to drag Yuji down to his level. Yuji then willfully descends to Mahito's level as long as it gives him the strength to kill Mahito. It's character regression on his part. Yuji once said he didn't want to kill because then the value of life might become vague to him.

In a way it did, because Yuji began to devalue his own life. Yuji wasn't able to see any meaning in his life besides a "role' that someone else assigned him. Not only was he willing to throw it away at the drop of a hat, but he also didn't feel like he had permission to live.

Unlike Yuta who actively sought affirmation from others, Yuji rejected that affirmation and tried to push everyone including people like Megumi and Choso away. They were right next to him, but Yuji became unable to accept their love and support.

Yuji is a strange paradox because he presents himself as an all-loving hero who just wants to save as many people as possible, but then you read his dialogue and he's like "I'm just a cog in the machine, I will continue to kill curses until one day I die. Then I'll just be replaced by another cog. There's no meaning at all to this sequence. Life is an endless nightmare."

I'm exaggerating, but underneath Yuji's sweet nature and goofing around, there's this very bleak attitude that his life means nothing except for the labor that he produces, and one day he'll be tossed aside and that's fine because it's what he deserves.

If Yuta seeks self-affirmation, then Yuji is seeking self-destruction. His self-loathing leads him to practically lay his head down on the chopping block and offer his neck up for execution by Higuruma's domain during the fight with Higuruma, even when Higuruma himself points out that Yuji isn't the one at fault because he wans't in control of his own body. Yuji will still take the blame, anything to punish himself further.

So, the words Yuji uses in his triumph against Mahito also signify the destruction of his own ego. That is what Yuji does when he adapts his cog mentality, he denies his own sense of self.

What Yuji experiences is basically a prolonged ego-death.

Ego death is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity".[1] The term is used in various intertwined contexts, with related meanings. The 19th-century philosopher and psychologist William James uses the synonymous term "self-surrender" and Jungian psychology uses the synonymous term psychic death, referring to a fundamental transformation of the psyche.

I brung up Ego-Death in the Jungian context, but in Yuji's case, resigning himself to being a cog is also an act of self-surrender. Yuji basically moves away from all of his previous ideals. He only sees himself as a tool to kill curses. Saving others, or helping guide others to a natural death, those things get put on the back burner as a tool doesn't need ideals.

He's abandoned all kinds of idealism and higher reasoning. In fact that is what Mahito wanted him to do, to abandon the higher reasoning that belongs to human beings and act on instinct like a curse. Mahito successfully pushed Yuji to abandon human reason and become an unthinking cog.

Jung defines the Ego-Death as the stripping away of everything else to revert to your natural self. According to Ventegodt and Merrick, the Jungian term "psychic death" is a synonym for "ego death":

In order to radically improve global quality of life, it seems necessary to have a fundamental transformation of the psyche. Such a shift in personality has been labeled an "ego death" in Buddhism or a psychic death by Jung, because it implies a shift back to the existential position of the natural self, i.e., living the true purpose of life. 

Megumi also experiences an ego-death over the course of the manga that mirrors Yuji's own when Sukuna takes over his body, soaks his soul to bring Megumi near evil, and then kills Tsumiki. At this point both Yuji and Megumi both lose what were their reasons for fighting. The so-called "dignity obtained by human reason" is lost. After having those reasons stripped away from them and experiencing their ego-deaths both of them surrender control. Megumi becomes helpless and stops trying to fight Sukuna. While Yuji may not seem like he's given up on anything since he keeps trucking along, he too has given up on thinking for himself. Yuji has essentially given up as much as Megumi has, there's just less plot consequences for it.

Either way they are both brought to their lowest point by ego-death, in order to bring them to their lowest point, and make them experience a rebirth of sorts.

The persona in Jung is the face you show the outside world. it's one part of personality, with the other being the shadow. The shadow is the repressed part of peresonality. Just like curses are made up of repressed human emotions that leak out from our collective subconscious. Curses serve as the shadow of humanity collectively, especially Mahito who is made up of everything humans hate and fear about other humans. The physical embodiment of human cruelty.

However, a person can't live without their shadow. There's no such thing as a human without flaws after all, and you don't become a better person just by ignoring your own flaws. The kinds of people who are unaware of their own flaws tend to unconsciously repeat the same mistakes again and again and again.

Yuji despises curses as inhuman monsters that he can slaughter like they're enemies in a video game, but they're like... made of human vices. They are the product of humanity's emotions. Yuji's habit of only looking at the good makes him unaware of both his own shadow, his own shortcomings, and also the darker shades of grey in the world around him.

Megumi and Yuji both are characters who, need to be dragged down to the darkest point of the shadow and forced to confront their own flaws in order to learn about themselves. It's not a coincidence thaT Yuji who puts humanity on such a pedestal is a human and curse hybrid. That his older brother who's shown to be a source of overflowing unconditional love is also a human / curse hybrid, and who Yuji nearly killed because he blindly, obediently decided to kill curses. That Yuji killed two of his other curse / human hybrid brothers in spite of noticing they were different from other curses and had a family bond with each other.

It's not a coincidence that Yuji who puts humanity on such a pedestal devoured the corpses of all of his other brothers the same way that Sukuna ate his own twin in the womb to gain the power to defeat Sukuna.

Yuiji lacks a lot of self-awareness. That's why I've always said he doesn't quite live up to the "all-loving hero" he sees himself as. Savior is just a role that Yuji has adopted in order to give himself a purpose in life, but he falls short of that. The reason that he falls short is ironically that Yuji tries so hard to be superhuman, that he can't forgive himself for having basic human flaws.

It's why "Being a child is not a sin" is such a meaningful line coming from Nanami. In Yuji's eyes being a child is a sin. He constantly blames himself for not being able to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders, for not being able to save everyone by himself even though he's only been a jujutsu sorcerer for a few months.

It's why Yuji gets excited for a moment when Kusakabe mentions that Yuji is developing very fast by sorcerer standards, because he wants to be someone monstrously talented like Higuruma or Gojo - and why he immediately looks so disappointed when Kusakabe says it's not because Yuji is talented it's just because of Sukuna.

Yuji feels an overwhelming amount of responsibility and wants to be a special person who is strong enough to actually carry all that responsibility on his shoulders. That's why I say Yuji isn't a true all-loving hero, because it's more about Yuji's own feelings than the act of saving others. His guilt complex over Sukuna.

His desires to be someone special and meaningful. Yuji wants to be a good person who saves others because it gives YUJI and purpose and it gives YUJI a sense of fulfillment. If you've read Tokyo Ghoul it's like Kaneki's reason for participating in the Anteiku Raid. Not because he genuinely wanted to save others, but because he "was tired of not being able to do a thing."

(I'm keeping the meme panel because it's funny)-

Yuji wants to be strong and wants to be a savior because Yuji feels insecure in himself and loathes himself for his own weakness. However, this pushes Yuji farther away from his goal of saving others and making connections with other people so he can die surrounded by people BECAUSE people empathize with each other over their weaknesses.

Yuji wants to become someone strong and unbreakable who will never falter, never feel pain, and most of all never lose. He basically wants to become Satoru Gojo, but if Yuji were to ever rise to Gojo's level like that just by getting rid of all of his weaknesses he'd fundamentally lose his ability to connect with people the way Gojo and Sukuna have.

Yuji defines himself in strength, and suffering, and always overcoming, but then what is his heart for? He strives to become someone stronger than Gojo or Sukuna to protect his friends, but if he loses his heart that loves and cherishes those friends in the process then what even is the point?

Yuji walks a dangerous road from the culling games up until the Shinjuku incident, into nearly becoming like Mahito or Sukuna in his attempts to be stronger than them. I don't think he was ever in danger of going on a murder spree, but I do think he was risking becoming someone like Gojo.

Gojo made himself a tool for Jujutsu Society for the greater good and look what happened to him in the end. Not only did he die in the line of duty, his corpse was turned into a puppet to use as a weapon against the enemy. He made himself into a monster even when people like Yuta were begging Gojo not to. Yuji was on a similiar path of cutting off all the people who loved him and just becoming a person exploited in both life and death for the greater good.

So what stopped him?

Megumi.

YOU ARE ME.

A few people said that Yuji's abandoning the cog mentality suddenly happened too fast, or felt unearned but I think if you look at the culling games arc from higiruma's fight onwards as a whole it's actually a natural progression.

It all starts with Higuruma and Yuji's conversation:

Higuruma: "You're innocent. You didn't commit that crime." Yuji: "Even so, it's my fault." Higuruma: "Why?" Yuji: "...I see. Itaodri, there still may be a lot of people who are weak like you."

Yuji is someone who loevs humans, but puts humanity as a whole on a pedestal. He loves humanity but hates human weakness, especially his own weakness. Ironic because Higuruma is also someone who became jaded by having to work in the corrupt justice system and was forced to look at human ugliness day after day after day even though he wanted to be someone who valued people for their weaknesses.

Yuji doesn't learn to empathize with human weakness until Megumi's weaknesses are the one he's forced to confront. He doesn't abandon his notion of roles until he's robbed of his roles by Sukuna when Megumi becomes the possessed one instead of him.

Yuji is fine with being a sacrifice for the greater good, but he is not fine with sacrificing Megumi. By knowing exactly what Megumi is going through and wanting to save Megumi from Sukuna's possession, Yuji is in an odd way forced to empathize with himself. Like, it's a double standard on his part that's being challenged. Yuji blames himself for all the people he hurt as Sukuna, but he'd never blame Megumi for letting Sukuna kill tsumuki while possessing his body.

In his refusal to sacrifice Megumi for the greater good, even when Megumi is begging him to do so he rejects the common Ethos that sorcerer's are expendable cogs who are expected to sacrifice themselves and their comrades in the eternal fight against curses for the sake of public safety.

Yuji carries with him this grandiose notion of saving as many people as possible. However, when the option comes to make a sacrifice that would save hundreds of thousands of people from the merger by fighting to kill Megumi instead of save him from Sukuna's clutches Yuji can't do it. Even though Megumi at that point would be a completely willing sacrifice.

Yuji has to abandon his cog mentality to save Megumi, because an unthinking cog wouldn't put Megumi's life over the lives of everyone in Shibuya. A cog, especially a sorcerer would kill that one kid in order to save thousands of lives. Heck, Kusakabe more conservative sorcerer even brings up that argument that everything would have been avoided if Yuji was executed to begin with.

In order to save Megumi, Yuji must also reclaim his own humanity. There's a reason that Nanami, and Nobara, die right before Yuji adopts his cog mentality. Nanami, the most ethical of the first grade sorcerers who tried to teach Yuji to value his own life because he was a child, and Nobara the only kid in the main trio who was a normal person are both representatives of Yuji's humanity.

After losing both Yuji becomes reckless, he stops valuing his own life. As I said far, far bove, Yuji never listened to the advice Nanami gave him that it wasn't a sin to be a child. Yuji has this entire time thought it was a sin just to be weak, just to need the help of other people, just to not be able to accomplish everything on his own.

After Yuji starts reconciling with his own humanity though, he regains his connections to both Nanami and Nobara. Nanami comes back symbolically in the form of Higuruma, someone Yuji tries to encourage to live instead of taking the same suicidal path that Yuji was bent on. Whereas, Nobara herself actually comes back from the dead in time to land the final blow, the same way she reminded Yuji of her presence and that she wasn't alone in the Mahito fight.

Yuji also regains these connections when he's processed the grief for both people. He remembers Nanami and what Nanami left him in a more positive light. In my interpretation the line "I am a sorcerer" refers to Yuji developing a more healthy version of being a sorcerer. That instead of Yuji seeing sorcerers as slaves who have to sacrifice themselves for the greater good like Geto did, Yuji can see the camraderie between sorcerers who fight and put their lives on the line together.

Either way, I think the moment Yuji truly reconciled with the grief of death is sadly enough with Choso's death. If you want proof that Yuji's revelation wasn't rushed, that he didn't skip from point a to point b, then it's right here.

Choso apologizes to Yuji for leaving him ahead of time, and Yuji tells him not to, because Choso was always by his side when he was at his lowest point and that brief time they had together was enough for him.

Yuji's relationships so far have been defined by his fear of losing people. He wants to have a natural death, he wants the other people around him to have good deaths, he doesn't want people to die too early. By focusing on the fear of losing people, he hasn't yet been able to enjoy the time that they were around. However, in this moment he realizes how much Choso meant to him, even if their relationship was brief, and even if it came to an end. Yuji learned you can still love someone even if you inevitably lose them.

This is when Yuji finally accepts mortality and fragility as a part of life.

This is also what Sukuna can't accept. That life is fragile. That life is weak. That life comes to an end. Sukuna's entire goal is to maximize pleasure and live as long as possible, and therefore he's rejected all of the unpleasant parts of reality. Sukuna doesn't want to live in the real world like a human being, he wants to exist only in the world of Jujutsu where he's a god.

This is what Yuji represents to Sukuna, The human vulnerability, and mundanity that he threw away, by literally cannabilizing his own twin and throwing away part of his soul. The part of his soul that Sukuna threw away was taken by Kenjaku, and used as a science experiment to create Yuji. Technically, Sukuna is Yuji's uncle but symbolically Yuji is the twin that Sukuna cast aside. Especially since in this world cursed energy treats identical twins like they are the same person.

Yuji for the longest time tried to do what Sukuna did. Tried to throw his own humanity away so he could be as strong as Sukuna. He literally even ate the corpses of his own brothers.

Yuji and Sukuna are symbolically twins, but Yuji learns to embrace the things that Sukuna threw away. Sukuna threw away his own soul's twin in order to grow strong. He became all powerful in the jujutsu world because he ate his twin and gained an extra pair of arms and a mouth. He's like if Maki chose to kill Mai instead of Mai sacrificing herself for Maki's sake.

Yuji chose companionship with others over power. Sukuna doesn't need others people to satisfy him, and Yuji begs Megumi to come back from the dead because his life would be lonely without him. Yuji doesn't have some noble reason for going this far for Megumi's sake. He's not saving Megumi for the greater good, but because his connection to Megumi is important to him. Because he doesn't want to go through life without Megumi.

Yuji loathes weakness like Sukuna. Yuji desires to be someone special like Sukuna. Yuji has a grandiose sense of self importance like Sukuna. Yuji desires power like Sukuna. Yuji looks down on weak people like Sukuna does, he just condescendingly wants to save them instead of Sukuna who just wants to stomp on them like ants.

Yuji is also literally Sukuna. He was created by an offshoot of his soul. The same way that Sukuna was born with a body perfect for Jujutsu, Yuji was born stronger than anyone his age, and develops at an extreme rate as a sorcerer BECAUSE he was Kenjaku's science project to make the perfect vessel for Sukuna.

They are totally twinsies in so many ways, the only difference in the end is that Yuji learns to value human connection. In Sukuna's book there is no meaning to life, except for the pleasures he pursues as an individual. Therefore Sukuna is the only real person that matters or even exists. The narrator says as much he alone is the honored one, all that exists is his pleasures and displeasures.

In Buberian terms Sukuna only experiences existence and I and It relationships.

Buber's main proposition is that we may address existence in two ways:

The attitude of the "I" towards an "It", towards an object that is separate in itself, which we either use or experience.

The attitude of the "I" towards "Thou", in a relationship in which the other is not separated by discrete bounds.

Sukuna is the "i" and everyone else is an "it." Sukuna is the only real person who exists, and everyone else is just an object for their amusement.

Whereas, Yuji experiences "I" and "Thou" relationships. Yuji learns to see other people as different from himself. Yuji appreciates people as separate entities. While Sukuna gets amusement from his life by treating other people like toys, for Yuji the value in his life comes from the people who have entered into his life in some form. He appreciates the relationships he's formed with people and the memories they've left behind, no matter how brief the time they spent together was.

This is why Yuji's words reach Megumi, because he respects that Megumi feels differently than he does. He doesn't tell Megumi to just suck it up and keep fighting because that's what Yuji would do. He understands that he's a different person than Megumi, and he can't say he understands the grief and pain Megumi is going through right now.

That's Yuji's big revelation, in just a few short months as a sorcerer he's met so many people who left an impact on him. Some of those relationships came to an end early, but that painful ending doesn't negate what they meant to him.

The few months he spent with Choso have value even if it's not the same as the one hudnred and fifty years Choso spent with the rest of his brothers, because Choso supported Yuji when he was at his lowest point. Yuji finally sees that what gave his life meaning was the memories he made with other people while they were alive together. Not the way that they died.

So Yuji is finally willing to let himself exist outside of a role.

That's what he's offering to Sukuna as well. Maybe not empathy or understanding, because if Yuji had truly learned empathy maybe Sukuna might have accepted his offer. No, Yuji is simply willing to offer Sukuna the chance to live alongside him.

Sukuna rejects bonds of all kinds and Yuji is now embracing them. Yuji no longer seeks to annihilate curses because they're a fundamental part of life. Yuji wants to live on with his curses and burdens. He's also willing to give Sukuna a chance to keep living too.

Even Yuji points out that both of them are totally twinsies. Sukuna was born as a curse because he devoured his twin brother in the womb. Yuji was born as a curse because he was created to be Sukuna's vessel. The only way that Yuji is the way that he is is because he was raised as a normal child by his grandfather. If Yuji hadn't then he would have turned out entirely different. It's the same way that Choso became human because of his love for his brothers, even though he was born as a curse human hybrid and tossed aside by Kenjaku as a failed experience.

Yuji acknowledges both his capacity to have turned out like Sukuna if not for his grandfather's sake. This time when he says You are me, he's not saying it to threaten and destroy the person he sees as his shadow. This time Yuji is trying to reconcile with his shadow. He's looking at the person who represents the absolute worst of humanity, and the things he hates about himself and is still willing to give them the chance to keep on living together with him.

When Yuji says "I am you, so I'll kill you" to Mahito, that signals his first step on the road to self destruction.

When Yuji says, "I am you, so I'll save you" to Sukuna, that signals his first step on the road to self-acceptance.

It's Yuji allowing himself for the first time to just exist as a normal person not as the hero of some epic story. He even gave Sukuna that chance too, to just continue living alongisde him, but sukuna rejected it to keep on living as a curse until the end.

So, while Yuji saying "You are me" to Sukuna isn't true empathy, it is Yuji learning to accept himself and his flaws. . Because if Yuji is willing to forgive someone like Sukuna, then perhaps he might just learn to forgive himself.

[alatismeni-theitsa]

In "KAOS" nothing is anything, and everything is wrong

Two disclaimers: I am no stranger to modern art, and I have no issue with queerness in shows, or in my own mythology (I'm Greek). I am also aware that KAOS is a comedy. It's in the gutter of British comedy, but still part of the genre. At least I laughed every time they said "Oh God!". I don't believe this is the same person who wrote the great and amusing "End of the F**king World"! The premise of "The gods in our modern world" appeals to me a lot, so that wasn't my problem either. My general issue with KAOS is its horrible delivery, bad writing, and piss-poor Greek representation.

This is gonna be long and full of stupid gifs, so sit comfortably, grab a coffee or some popcorn and... pame!

The "ILoveGreekMythology" Kid

Art without context is just a pretty thing to look at. Most of the time, this context can be found within the art piece itself, as the artist has taken care to weave it in. KAOS refuses to connect itself to any context besides the names and a few vague powers. It aims to exist outside of those "boring old stories of the Greek myth" and be entirely "fresh and modern". Something impossible when the entire show and the meanings are based on ancient recorded material. In other words, KAOS is so meta that it ends up being nothing. KAOS cannot stand on its own because you need more than the viewers being familiar with the Greek myth basics to pull such a show off.

KAOS tells us "See? I know all the names of the gods, and what they did, and I know all the locations, so I am qualified to tackle this". More or less like any Western kid who takes all their knowledge from PJO and Marvel and proceeds to unironically hate ancient deities and make a girlboss out of Medusa.

Here's a Greek word for you guys, ημιμάθεια, meaning "half-knowledge". Α Greek saying very well declares "Half-knowledge is worse than no knowledge". The confidence of thinking you know enough often leads you to grave mistakes whereas the humility of not knowing prevents you from touching shit that you shouldn't. When you have no idea what the original myth is trying to say and spit on its meaning, knowing a few names and locations is just smoke and mirrors. I don't believe the audience fell for that.

And don't get me started on the "subversions". A good subversion is intriguing and thought-provoking. In KAOS, every twist was hollow - Greek myth related or otherwise.

"What if Euridice doesn't love Orpheus?" I don't know, babe. What if??? What was the point of that? What did you show us? That women's stories are dominated by men and men don't listen to women, perhaps? And you chose to twist... the love story of Orpheus and Euridice to show this?? One of the best and most tragic love stories Greek mythology has to offer?? You just mocked the myth, you didn't make anything profound out of it.

The Greek Stuff (Nothing salvageable)

I was surprised to see they had a Consulting Producer (Georgia Christou) and an Assistant Script Editor (Isabella Yianni) who happen to be Greek. And I stress that because those people probably weren't hired or utilized for being Greek. We are not sure they were involved in cultural decisions because we have no evidence and because shows with no Greek elements can have more Greeks than that on their staff.

Okay, perhaps they took 5 seconds to ask Isabella about a greeting - which they proceeded to say in a wrong intonation 🙄🤌It's where Poseidon says "ya sás" in the Fates, by the way. How he said it sounds more like "for you (pl.)" than "health to you (pl.)".

Surprise! The only Greek actor present (Peter Polycarpou) has less than 5 minutes of screen time and plays the caricature of an immigrant with a thick (and inaccurate Greek) accent. He has a canteen, selling falafel which is not Greek, and Dionysus buys from him an unidentified tortilla wrap (which... is also not Greek, if you haven't caught up).

For the show they brought in actors of Maori, Nigerian and Sierra Leonean, Pakistani, Black American, Latvian-Jewish, Iranian, Egyptian, Indo-Fijian and Malay descent and you tell me it was impossible for them to seek and find an English-speaking, skilled actor of Greek descent in a show regarding Greek heritage. Sometimes I wonder, do y'all hate us so much?

They considered Greeks only to give us a simple (and wrong) greeting and a stereotype. Crumbs, we are supposed to be happy with. By the way, there are over 70.000 Greek immigrants just in the UK, usually in the urban centers, many of them students or fairly young employees in the corporate workforce. Not the largest minority but not hard to spot either.

Another plague of Anglophone shows: Almost everyone's Greek name is shortened. Yes, we know their full names but we are told that we will use the short ones. Greeks and their "long and difficult" names am I right fellas? Because saying "Ariadne" apparently requires 5 years of Greek language training, and no English word ever has more than two syllables.

Coincidentally, short names are cool in Anglophone imaginary universes and the "long" names are not. it's so strange Anglophones never make universes where it's cool for Greek names to be spoken in full hmmm... They don't even want to practice saying a whole Greek name for just 2 minutes in preparation for a show full of Greek names. And don't give me that "Greek is hard" shit when we only talk about a few syllables. If Greek kids can learn English since first grade and people here can sing English songs and spell English names, you have no excuse.

They also said the name "Fotis" means light, which is close enough but... ugh.. It's like saying Sebastian means "respect". I am not sure if they asked anyone or what their research was here. If I had the writers in front of me, I'd be like:

(This character from an all-time favorite Greek show is called Fotis)

They also made the flag of "Krete" an alteration of the Greek flag and the local Cretan flag. Which is the stupidest move, because they had to remove the religious symbol of the cross to make the flag fit the universe. These are flags created based on 1) Christianity 2) the Greek Revolution of 1821.

National Greek flag to the left, local Cretan flag to the right:

Flag of the KAOS' "Krete":

The only time they seriously took into account anything Greek, was the time when they decided to remove the religious symbol of our ethnoreligion AND (from what I could observe) keep the nine stripes?? The nine stripes of our national flag represent the syllables in "Freedom or Death". The colors are from the white foustanela of the mainland attire and the dark blue vraka of the island attire, the clothing of the Revolution fighters. (That's more of a meta explanation but the characteristics of the flag were decided during and nearly after the Revolution.)

I think I don't have to explain it more but it's not a homage to put the nine stripes in an ancient era where they have no meaning, and to replace a cross??? Let's... not replace religious symbols on national flags, okay? Thank you.

Another cultural element they changed was making everyone have a dedicated coin to pay Charon. Orpheus has Euridice's coin, "her coin", and he's meant to put it on her before she got buried. In Greek culture, any coin would do. Sorry that our culture restricts your script, dear writers. I guess you had to bend this too, in order to create a cohesive plot with a semblance of a twist.

Finally, the many "Kerberus" dogs were cute and I can understand the creative decision behind that. However, in a show full of inaccuracies, this made me roll my eyes a little. I think the showrunners know that Kerveros is not a breed of dog, and there can only be one of him because he doesn't have any other "Kerveros" to breed with. On the other hand, as demonstrated from art/writing on the internet, quite a lot of Westerners are not exactly aware of how our monsters work, so forgive my uncertainty 😅

Nothing is Anything

Every element KAOS played with ended up meaningless. In the words of a Lifo article:

“Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of ‘Sons of Anarchy’. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean.”

The "River Styx" is a sea, the "River Lethe" is a lake, the gods are nothing more than spoiled humans, the Moirai are drag queens, the Cave is a club where you have to take a quiz to enter the underworld, and generally everything is modern, flat, mundane and anticlimactic. The producers aimed to achieve a work so meta that a "river" is now a concept, a metaphor, whatever you have in your heart. And those who want to see a river when we speak of a river are probably uncultured swines and don't understand postmodernism. Never mind that rivers are rivers in Greek mythology for a reason. That's not culturally interesting enough to explore compared to the new, cool approach of not assigning meaning to anything. That totally shows love for the original rich and meaningful material...

And the reason behind all this subversion? Probably the shock factor. They brought the characters to a point where they said "We have to save the world from Zeus" - Zeus! The father of gods, heroes and humans! - just because they could. It gives off a certain type of smugness that I personally don't like. I mean, I would like the smugness and cheekiness of KAOS if it wasn't a vapid and practically meaningless show. As nothing symbolizes anything anymore, we are just led from hollow plot point to hollow plot point.

If you cut it out of any cultural influence and see it as a story then it's... okay, I guess. But when you consider that it's meant to derive from certain material and it fails spectacularly, it's not a good story. It forgets its bases and doesn't play with the ancient elements at all. Disney's Hercules did it better, FFS!

Bad Writing (pt.1)

KAOS is not without recognizable themes but their demonstration is so juvenile and heavy-handed that it fails to influence a viewer of average intelligence. For instance, "Riddy" says to her religious mother "You dedicated your whole life to Hera, what about me?" Okay, KAOS, we get it. At the same time, this theme nulls itself because it turns out that Ridy's mother was right to do what she did, as she had a greater goal in mind. (And this, kiddos, is called Bad Writing, because your themes and scenes contradict each other)

The biggest theme I spotted was a criticism of religion and religious people who say "Do as I say, not as I do" and create exceptions for themselves. Only, it's not a criticism of anything real, in this case. It's a fact that some people in the clergy tend to preach peace and love and then they do harm, but we don't know, for example, that The Goddess of Marriage is a cheater and yet she pressures everyone into strict marriages. By focusing their wrath on divine beings who are not known for their hypocrisy, the creators missed the mark.

I can give KAOS props for how it handled Trojans to reflect real issues regarding how immigrants and war refugees are mistreated and blamed. I'd argue it was the only (nearly) well-done theme in the whole show because it had the least on-the-nose delivery and some genuine/serious scenes. But that's it.

More Bad Writing!

Jeff Goldblum's Zeus is shit. He'd crap his pants in an argument with a stern Greek dad/uncle his age. Is this character supposed to be intimidating? (Laughs in Mediterranean) That's not to say that Goldblum is not a good actor, but this role wasn't for him. The same can be said for the other actors, too. They are competent but they only give off the air of "The Greek gods if they lived in London, from the minds of people who think beards and body hair are an affliction". In addition to being misplaced, the actors cannot show their talent when following a script that resembles a children's book.

Why does THE GOD Dionysus have the maturity of a 15-year-old? I repeat, The God Dionysus. He's a freaking deity, and a very old one at that. He is not a teenager neither in appearance nor in experience. In our culture, he is mystical, mighty, wise. Why did they downgrade him so? Just for the plot? This is not Dionysus just because you named him so.

The dialogue rarely takes itself seriously to the point it has you wondering at times "Do people talk and behave like that?". In a comedy where everything is meant to be already extreme and parodied. Even in comedies, something must occasionally be serious so there is a healthy fluctuation in tone and the funny moments can hit you. In KAOS very few scenes treated their impactful dialogue as it should be treated.

The queerness and diversity (good elements, in general) were worse off for being in KAOS. Like, I want these elements to be there. I'm just sad about the whole situation. It's not enough that the show is shit, now you also give an additional reason for conservatives to shit on diverse and queer characters because they are part of a stupid narrative.

I'm the type of person who doesn't mind the queerness of Astyanax and Theseus being lovers in the context of this specific show but they're still the oddest pairing to me because they're from the most irrelevant myths and eras. Also, Astyanax in my mind is a baby who died tragically, for little reason if we are honest, so to bring him back and make him a love interest is... ekh.

In addition, isn't Astyanax supposed to be crippled after a fall from the city walls when he was a baby? Sorry to change subjects but the show is so convoluted and with so many issues that it's extremely difficult to stay on track with what's wrong.

To the person who thought this show was a good idea:

Whatever. Bye. I'm fucking done.

[gin-juice-tonic]

book of bill discussion ish post about a single line in the book. Despite it being one line, its a bit long and rambly

So. Ford's "hes making it all up as he goes along" line. Is what I will be talking about

If you read the whole book, you already know this, but just as a recap:

In the book of bill, Ford has placed several pages of messages written by him addressed to any possible readers. These first set of messages offer an explanation of what the book is, and why you should not read it.

In the middle of the book he adds in another set of messages, this time chastising the reader for making it this far and then warning the you to stop reading further.

At the end he stops chastising you and admits he read it too, and how the books presence has been agonizing and embarrassing to him, and how he felt the need to hide it from his family. He goes onto explain how his family finds it anyway, and they laugh at the contents of the book, and at how desperate Bill is for attention. They all reiterate to Ford how they of course care about him despite his past of being manipulated by Bill, and Ford finds comfort and strength from his family and seems more ready to put his shame about Bill behind him.

The above "He's making it all up as he goes along." line is part of this last set of pages.

Something that is notable about its placement, is that the last sort of "story" that Bill tells the player in the book is the "missing journal 3 pages". After that, Bill tries to make a deal with you and is interrupted by Ford's final message here.

A few people have suggested to me that doyalist-wise, the idea the journal pages are fake hurts Ford's arc in the book. However, I think this line and it's placement, if the pages are not fake, hurts Ford's arc in the book.

One thing we know about the book is it changes contents based on the reader, so I do not actually think Ford *read* the "missing journal pages" in his own version, nor do I think his family saw them in theirs. However, I think the placement of the journal pages being basically right before Ford's final message is supposed to connect the two in our minds as the reader.

Like I have said above, Ford's arc is about being able to move toward putting Bill behind him:

If the journal pages are real, to me, Ford's comment ends up coming across as a sort of Denial (though likely inadvertent) of these pages, and calling Bill a liar regarding pages he supposedly wrote himself. This flies in the face of the arc that's been built up for Ford. If he does not care about what Bill has to say about him anymore and is ready to start moving on, and these pages are real, I genuinely believe this line should not have been included.

Rather, if the pages are fake, his comment is more of an acknowledgement. Ford does not care about what Bill has to say about him, he does not care that Bill may be spreading lies about him, he knows Bill is nothing but an attention seeker and Ford is not going to waste his time worrying about what he has to say anymore.

So I think, from the perspective of how the book was written regarding its structure and Ford's arc, this line only makes sense within the context of those pages truly being "made up" by Bill. Whether you agree or just think Alex made a poor writing choice there is up to you. (Though I would like to point you again to this interview clip from Alex. Note that he talks about "other perspectives in the book" to be paying attention to.)

...but that's my two cents on that.

[enanansbbg]

Anhane’s relationship, and it’s complexity:

this was originally uploaded onto twt, but I wanted to reupload it here because I was very proud of this analysis, so please enjoy and feel free to add anything I may have missed or skipped over!

With that being said, here we go! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Let’s start with the basics. The pure power of their aibouness, and its connections to vivid street.

To begin, you must understand what a partner is in VBS terms. In this case, it’s ‘a person who brings out parts of you never knew existed’.

In relations to Anhane, this is based off pure raw emotions. This is shown through An’s abandonment issues and Kohane’s want to make her heart pound.

Kohane wants to recreate that feeling she felt when she first heard An singing inside of An, to ‘make her heart pound’, while An’s abandonment issues cause her to fear Kohane’s rapid growth may lead to Kohane abandoning her.

This also plays into a certain factor about Kohane and the idea of her and angst, I believe.

Many people want Kohane to have some kind of angst event, especially related to her backstory, but that would go against all her motives.

See, Kohane’s pure movies for pursuing music—for working to surpass Rad Weekend all tie back to An. It was hearing An singing at WG that made her heart pound and An asking her to be her singing partner that caused her to even consider music as an option.

From here, their relationship develops into a lot more, and it’s when the idea of partners ‘bringing out an ugly side of you’ comes to play.

You can see even in the maim story An not seeing Kohane as an equal. It only gets called out and resolved in Singing in Sync.

Singing In Sync, ep. 1 and 3

🎧: “In the unlikely event that something does go wrong, I’ll cover for you and get you back on track, okay?”

…

🎧: “I failed as her partner…I couldn’t protect her…

…

🎧: “I mean, she’s my partner…And I wanted to guide her so that she could sing without worrying…”

…

🥞: “You don’t think of Kohane as one of the team.”

An telling Kohane “I’ll protect you if you mess up” subconsciously puts the idea into Kohane’s head “I’m not good enough, so I’ll probably mess up” This is what caused the entire issue in SIS to begin with.

But it’s once An tells her “you can protect me too” that Kohane is able to subconsciously think “I have the power to make her heart pound too”

Singing in Sync, ep. 8

🎧: “If I miss a cue at the next event…”

🎧: “Could you cover for me?”

🐹: “An… Sure, I can do that!”

After this we get Awakening Beat. Kohane is able to come out of her shell and fully adapts the idea “I can make her heart pound too” and has a large boost in confidence because of it. An both brought her confidence down and back up in the spam of one rotation.

Awakening Beat, ep. 8

🎧: (“It’s like she’s not even the Kohane I know. Could this be because she’s completely resolved herself?”

🎧: (“But even with just that, she can really change this much…?”)

However….In the same event, An’s insecurities begin to bloom and in Bout for Beside You, An has to face them for the first time.

Awakening Beat, ep. 8, BFBY, ep. 4

🎧: (“I was just gonna tell her she did amazing… That I never knew she could sing that amazingly, but…”

🎧: (“What’s going on? I just can’t get the words out—”)

…

🎧: “Kohane is…going to leave me behind?”

Here, An realizes her and Kohane ‘perfect’ relationship is more complicated now. While Kohane’s adapted the idea of “I want to make her heart pound”, An opens to idea of “I wont he able to make her heart pound anymore” (they doki doki more than ddlc i swear)

At the end of the event, An ask Kohane the golden question. “If I were to leave somewhere far away, would we still sing together?”

BFBY, ep. 8

🎧: “But what would you do if I said that I’d be going somewhere far far away someday?”

🎧: “And I wanted to reach greater heights just like what Uncle Taiga did exploring the world. If I were to go to someplace even greater and far far away from here—”

Of course, Kohane affirms this. Naturally, Kohane takes a lot of pride in being An’s partner, being the only partner for her. (as said in ORS) She wants to keep singing with An forever.

BFBY, ep. 8

🐹: “Even so, I would want to keep singing with An-chan!”

🐹: “No matter where you go or what you become, I’d still want to be with you!”

🐹: “I want to properly stand beside you and sing with you!”

We’re gonna skip ahead a bit and jump up to KIUAN, where we get our lovely “She looks like Nagi-san” line, the line that killed every Anhane shipper in the tristate area.

But what makes this line so special? Well, for that let’s discuss what made Nagi’s death (and the lie surrounding it) so impactful.

Nagi was someone An looked up to highly. So, when she was suddenly told that Nagi moved, not even saying goodbye, to pursue her music career, it left a mark on An. Added to the fact that Nagi wasn’t returning An’s messages or calls, just completely disappeared.

Now, looking to Bout for Beside you and KIUAN, you can see the importance of these lines. An fears that Kohane will improve so much that she leaves without a word, never talks go her again and just moves on. It’s why she looks so distressed.

VOT ep. 8, BFBY, ep. 8, KIUAN ep. 7

🎧: “…Aww. I wonder what Nagi-san is doing over in America? I wish she’d give us a call at least.”

🎧: “Ah! Maybe I’ll send her a text then! I wonder if she’ll be surprised~?”

…

🎧: “But what would you do if I said that I’d be going somewhere far far away someday?”

…

🎧: “…She looks just like Nagi-san…”

And, it’s why she can’t even believe Kohane when she says just how important An is to her, how much she loves her and wants to sing with her because Nagi said the same thing and now Nagi is gone.

This manages to reach a resolve in WTWG, where An ‘fights’ Kohane, takes all those raw emotions out in a healthy way, through her song.

An’s card in WTWG is more than just ‘An takes her anger out on Kohane’, because in truth that’s not entirely what she’s doing. Instead, it’s An’s raw emotions taking form.

An wants Kohane to grow, she wants Kohane to thrive fully, but that fear of abandonment—Fear that Kohane will leave and never speak to her again makes her want to hold her close and never let her go anywhere.

So what about Kohane?

Well, starting with thr WTWG card/story, Kohane wants to be An’s best partner. As she states, ‘to make An’s heart pound’.

So, to be vulnerable here is to accept all of An’s raw emotions. Let her lean on her and feel everything because to Kohane, that makes her a worthy partner.

She says over and over throughout the fight that An is amazing, that she wants to be like her, how much it makes her heart pound. Really, it reminds me of Kohane’s colorfes story.

WTWG, ep. 7

🐹: (“An-chan…really is amazing.”)

🐹: (“…Whenever I hear An-chan sing, it really makes my heart pound like nothing else. It makes me wish I could sing like her.”)

In it, Kohane goes to Vivid Street, but everyone thinks she’s An. This happens after she thinks about what it would be like to be An, but only going through this dream does she realize that she doesn’t want to be An, she wants to be her. She wants to be An’s partner.

Colorfes Kohane ep. 1 and 2

Record Store Onee-san: “You caught me off guard, using polite like that, An-chan!”

🐹: (“Did she just say An-chan…?”)

…

🐹: (“—An-chan’s so cool and strong…and there’s times I wish I could be like her…”)

🐹: (“I have to be me! Because—”)

🎧: “—Y’know, I was thinking, your singing is always so amazing, Kohane.”

🎧: “Whenever I hear your singing, it makes my heart race. The tension rises, and it makes me feel like I have to start singing right now!”

🐹: (“Because I’m An-chan’s partner—!”)

And to be An’s partner, is to drag all those raw, vertical emotions out of An, just like she does in WTWG.

In conclusion, Anhane explosion their relationship is so complex and strong and I love it

[rainybubbles]

I need a whole story with Ghost and arranged marriage.

(and hybrids, I love the AU of the fandom about hybrids 141)

Something slow burn, angst where the reader is confident, but with social anxiety, maybe a f!reader?

She's a sacrifice, about to be married to another duke. But here comes a duchy long forgotten, tucked away in the shadow of the mountains, ruled by a mysterious Duke no one had seen in years.

A Ghost.

His name was Simon Riley, a widower, burdened with loss and cloaked in rumors. They said his heart was as dead as his wife, that a curse had taken not only her but every bit of warmth that could ever live in him. And so, when the black carriage came for you, no one in your village dared to offer you comfort.

You were the sacrifice—the black sheep sent to marry the Duke, an arranged match born out of fear, not love. Your family had seen you as expendable, a lamb to slaughter to secure their own futures.

You were confident in your spirit but burdened with the knowledge that your body didn’t fit the delicate mold others expected. (no one had courted you)

You never thought yourself beautiful, never thought you could inspire anything but pity or rejection. But it didn’t matter, did it? You weren’t meant for love. You were meant to survive.

When you arrived at the Duke’s castle, the silence that greeted you felt heavy, as if the very stones were holding their breath.

Simon Riley stood before you, a towering figure wrapped in shadows, with eyes that seemed carved from stone—cold, distant, and full of secrets.

He did not look at you the way men often did; there was no curiosity, no warmth, no appraisal. Instead, he seemed to be waiting, as if bracing for some inevitable end.

He didn't marry you for love, but because of his curse. Simon was fated to die within a year, and he needed someone to care for his kingdom and use their connections to maintain peace with other realms.

His people were not human, at least not fully. The hybrids, part-beast, part-man, served him with loyalty forged from some unspoken bond. There was Soap, whose wolf-like nature caused him to prowl the castle grounds in restless energy. Gaz, whose wings glinted like silver in the moonlight, was ever watchful, guarding the castle’s gates. And Price, the fiercest of them all, his dragon wings scorched from endless battles, often returned to you for healing.

You became their caretaker, stitching their wounds, reading old texts on werewolves to understand Soap’s habits, and joking with Gaz’s children when they visited.

Slowly, you found your place in this strange, otherworldly family.

And yet, Simon remained distant, an enigma wrapped in silence and sorrow.

He never sought your company, never looked for you, never asked for more than the duty of your presence.

He was a Duke, cursed and broken, and you were his sacrifice, meant to ensure his survival, not his happiness.

Days turned into months, and the weight of your loneliness pressed into your chest like a slow, relentless ache. You gave and gave—your time, your care, your heart—until you had little left for yourself. And one night, it became too much.

The walls of your room, once a sanctuary, closed in on you, and you cried. The sobs came softly at first, but then they grew louder, filling the quiet darkness with your grief, your exhaustion, your sense of never being enough.

Simon heard you.

He came to you in the dead of night, silent as a shadow, and found you curled up in the corner, tears staining your cheeks. He knelt beside you, his hand trembling as he reached for you, as if he wasn’t sure how to touch something so fragile. When his fingers brushed your skin, it was like a shiver of warmth had broken through the icy armor he wore.

“It means nothing,” he whispered, his voice rough and deep. He was speaking to himself as much as to you. “Comforting you means nothing.”

But his hands told a different story. He cradled you gently, pulling you into his chest, and for the first time, you felt his heart beating against yours. He held you, whispering words you couldn’t fully understand, telling himself that this was just duty, that you were just another sacrifice for his throne. But you both knew the truth.

He had fallen.

Bit by bit, Simon let you in, let you see the man behind the Duke, the man who had lost so much. He had never hoped for love—not after losing his wife, not after the curse had taken everything from him. But there you were, taking care of his people, offering comfort without expecting anything in return. And in the quiet moments, when you would tend to Price’s wings or read to Soap, Simon would watch you, a strange ache building in his chest.

He had fallen, and it was too late.

But Simon’s curse was not the only one. Another hybrid, König, appeared at the castle one day, his presence unsettling. He was larger, more menacing than the others, and his eyes lingered on you in a way that made your skin crawl. There was something in his gaze, something dark and possessive, that told you he was not just another visitor.

And then, you were gone.

On the day Simon was to meet his death—a death foretold by the curse—you were not there. He searched for you, frantic, the coldness of his impending doom creeping up his spine. But you were nowhere to be found.

König had taken you, hoping to break the curse for himself, hoping to claim you as his own. But what König didn’t know, what no one knew, was that you had the power to break the curse—not just for Simon, but for another. You were the key, the sacrifice whose heart could unlock the chains binding these cursed men.

But Simon… Simon had already decided.

He would not let you sacrifice yourself again. He had watched you give and give until there was nothing left for yourself. He had heard your cries in the dead of night, felt the weight of your despair. And now, he was ready to curse himself—for you. He was ready to bind his heart to yours, to live an eternity of torment, meeting you again and again across lifetimes if that’s what it took. He would endure the curse, relive the pain, as long as it meant you would be free.

And as Simon drew his last breath, his heart shattered—not from the curse, but from love. His love for you, the woman who had given so much, the woman he had fallen for too late.

And in the distance, far from the castle, you felt it. The weight of his sacrifice. The bittersweet ache of love lost, of a heart cursed not by magic but by fate.

You wept, not for yourself, but for him—for the man who had loved you in silence, in shadows, and in sacrifice. And as the winds whispered through the mountains, carrying his name on the air, you knew he was gone.

But Simon… Simon would return.

Again and again, across lifetimes. Searching for you. Loving you.

Even if it was too late.

Centuries later, he stood frozen, eyes locked on the new translator stepping onto the base. Your smile was polite, a stranger's greeting, but his heart ached as the weight of lifetimes crashed over him.

"You're back," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion.

Yet, your eyes held no recognition—you didn’t remember him.

Yeah, I need a fic like that. 10 chapters, where I cry because damn, this man deserves happiness and so does the reader...

And bonus if the reader is on the fat, chubby side , because I need to see more of that.

[ikeucity]

moonstruck. | chapter one pt 2 - smoke and surrender

warning. contains explicit sexual content, drug use, angst, domination, spacestation!au, slight action, slow burn, strong language, intense sexual tension, a more technologically advanced iss, explicit fantasies, and adult themes. reader discretion is strongly advised. mdni.

wc. 30k

with just 24 hours left until the drug is supposed to completely take effect, the crew is on the brink of losing control. with the clock ticking and their self-restraint nearly shattered, tensions are boiling over, fights breaking out as the crew's patience wears thin.

── .✦⸝⸝ previous chapters: ✦ pilot - locked in orbit ✦ chapter one: orders from above pt. 1

disclaimer. this story is a work of fiction and does not represent real-life events or the members of enhypen

"whose fucking idea was this? how is this supposed to be physical wellness?!" jake yelled, firing off rounds as simulated monsters closed in, his shots barely connecting. ducking behind a boulder, he cursed under his breath, frantically reloading next to jungwon, who, of course, was unbothered, calmly taking out each alien with unnerving precision.

"jake, for the love of—keep it down," jay muttered, hunkering behind some debris, irritation etched into every line of his face. sunghoon was right next to him, visibly pissed at the situation—or maybe just pissed off at jay. "why are you yelling like it's gonna help?"

"why are we even acting like this shit matters? it’s a simulation, we’re not actually gonna die," sunghoon mumbled, frustration slipping into his voice as he aimed and shot an alien in the head, the kill almost too clean. then, as an afterthought, he added, "right?" his confidence faltering for a second.

"got 'em all cleared over here," heeseung’s voice crackled through the comms, way too relaxed for the chaos unfolding. he was enjoying this a little too much, his gamer instincts taking over. "let’s regroup," he added, his voice carrying a smugness that made it clear he was thriving in this chaos.

you, on the other hand, were perched up high, hidden behind the walls like heeseung had suggested. you were chilling, taking your shots at the aliens whenever the opportunity arose. the tech was impressive, too—real guns, simulated ammo, the kind of shit that made you wonder how much had changed on earth while you’d been up here.

"that was sick," you breathed, more to yourself than anyone else, marveling at the seamlessness of the whole setup.

"how are you so calm right now?" jake shot back, glancing over at jungwon in disbelief. jungwon, not even breaking a sweat, methodically picked off another alien, his demeanor unshaken.

"this is supposed to help us de-stress," jungwon said evenly, his voice calm as ever over the comms, making it sound like he was explaining a basic fact rather than shooting his way through an alien horde.

"de-stress my ass," jake muttered, clearly not convinced. his frustration was evident, not just with the situation, but with the fact that you weren't near him.

he could tell you weren’t paying him much attention anymore, and that fact stung more than the simulation itself. maybe it’s because the other guys keep hovering around you.

as if sensing jake’s irritation, sunghoon chimed in with a bite to his words. "yeah, well, some of us don’t need to act like it’s life or death just to get through it." his eyes flicked over to where you were perched, his annoyance obvious.

he’d noticed, too. noticed how the others, especially jungwon and heeseung, seemed to be getting more time with you than he was comfortable with.

"cut it out, sunghoon," jay muttered, his patience thinning as he reloaded his weapon. but sunghoon didn’t seem interested in backing down, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before he returned to firing at the simulation.

after regrouping, you all found yourselves in a dimly lit cave module. the uneven terrain was tricky to navigate, and you brought up the rear, jungwon in front of you.

it wasn’t long before your foot slipped on a loose rock, and you stumbled. the pain was minimal, but a whimper escaped your lips before you could stop it, echoing through the confined space and over the comms.

everything stopped.

jay whipped his head around, his hand gripping his weapon a little tighter. "you alright?" his voice was tense, concern barely masking the shift in the air.

"she tripped," jungwon said smoothly, moving to your side in an instant, helping you back up. his hand on your waist lingered, fingers pressing a little too firmly as he steadied you. "you good?" he asked softly, though it felt like more than just checking on your physical state.

you laughed it off, embarrassed. "yeah, i’m fine."

your voice, however innocent, carried a weight over the comms that made the others pause, especially jake, whose gaze hardened as he watched jungwon’s hand on your waist. too close.

"what happe- i’m coming," jake muttered, already moving toward you before sunghoon stepped in his way, shooting him a pointed look.

"she’s fine," sunghoon said, his voice sharp, almost defensive. his eyes flicked toward jungwon, clearly annoyed by the way he was handling you. "focus on the task, jake."

jake hesitated, torn between frustration and concern, but nodded, falling back in line. still, his eyes lingered on you for a moment too long, watching jungwon’s arm wrapped around you.

heeseung’s voice cut through the comms, his usual commanding tone laced with something a little more possessive this time. "she’s good to go. let’s keep moving."

you could feel the tension rising, the air between you all charged in a way that had nothing to do with the simulation. jungwon kept close to you, his arm steady around your waist as you continued walking, his touch burning through the fabric of your suit. it felt deliberate, like he was making a point—both to you and to the others.

and then there was sunghoon. his eyes hadn’t left you since the stumble, the irritation practically radiating off him. he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore.

the way jungwon was practically glued to your side, the fact that heeseung kept sneaking glances your way—it was all too fucking much. they were taking up way too much time with you, and it was getting under his skin.

jake, on the other hand, felt the shift. he saw it unfolding right in front of him—how you were being pulled in all these different directions, each one of them fighting for your attention. but what bothered him the most was how you weren’t looking at him like you used to. it was because they were circling you like vultures, wasn’t it?

he was first. he made the moves. you flirted back, smiled at him like you meant it. you wanted him too, didn’t you? he was sure of it. so why did it feel like you were slipping away?

but sunghoon couldn’t stand the way jungwon was glued to your side, his eyes constantly flicking to the hand that rested on your waist, each touch like a silent taunt. "jungwon," he said, his voice laced with irritation, "how about you give her some space?"

jungwon raised an eyebrow, not even pretending to hide his smirk. "why? she doesn’t seem to mind."

before sunghoon could fire back, jake cut in, his frustration finally spilling over. "both of you, knock it off." his eyes flicked between them, his voice tight with anger. "we’ve got enough to deal with here without this shit."

sunghoon’s eyes flared, his irritation clear as he took a step forward, squaring his shoulders. "that’s not the point, jungwon," he snapped, his voice dripping with frustration. "you’ve been glued to her since this started. give her some damn space."

jungwon didn’t back down, his smirk only widening as he glanced at you before turning his attention back to sunghoon. "like I said, she doesn’t seem to mind." his voice was calm, but there was a sharpness to his words, a deliberate jab that made sunghoon’s jaw clench.

"are you fucking serious right now?" sunghoon shot back, his fists tightening at his sides. "you act like she belongs to you."

"and what about you?" jungwon countered smoothly, tilting his head. "acting all territorial when you’ve barely even talked to her today. what’s your deal, sunghoon?"

jake, who had been standing off to the side, couldn’t hold back any longer. "both of you need to shut the hell up," he barked, stepping between jungwon and sunghoon. his eyes flicked briefly to you, frustration etched deep into his expression. "this isn’t about who’s getting more time with her. we’re in the middle of a fucking activity. so maybe focus on that instead of—"

"oh, and you’re one to talk?" sunghoon cut him off, his eyes narrowing in challenge. "you’ve been sulking ever since she stopped paying attention to you."

jake’s face reddened, his teeth clenched hard enough to crack. "i’m not sulking." but even as the words left his mouth, he could feel the truth in sunghoon’s accusation sinking in.

the jealousy gnawed at him more than he’d like to admit. the possessiveness that had been building up inside him was getting harder to ignore.

"i’m pissed because you idiots are making this harder than it needs to be. we’re supposed to be working together, but you two are too busy fighting over her like it’s some goddamn competition."

jungwon, standing with his arms crossed, scoffed, eyes sharp. "you’re just mad because you feel like you’re losing."

"what the fuck does that even mean?" jake growled, stepping closer to jungwon, frustration blazing in his eyes. but deep down, it stung—jungwon had hit too close to the truth.

jake wasn’t used to this feeling, this irrational need to keep you closer to him, to be the one you turned to. it was messing with his head in ways he wasn’t ready to admit.

sunghoon, still glaring at both of them, muttered under his breath, "fucking whatever," not even bothering to hide his disdain.

"shut up," jake snapped, his voice rising, a sharp edge of anger slicing through his words.

the tension in the room had reached its peak, every word dripping with jealousy and frustration, neither side willing to back down. jungwon held his ground, cold and unyielding, while sunghoon looked ready to snap.

and there you were, right in the middle of it all. their possessiveness weighed heavy, wrapping around you like a suffocating blanket. the way they argued, the intensity of their stares—it overwhelmed you, each word pulling you deeper into their desires.

it wasn’t just about them fighting with each other anymore; they were fighting for you, and you could feel it, the heat of their unspoken claims burning in the air.

"are you serious right now?" you snapped, voice cutting through their bickering. you’d had enough. "you’re acting like kids. this is a simulation, and all of you are too wrapped up in your egos to remember why we’re even here." your gaze landed on jungwon’s hand still resting on your waist, and you pushed it away, firm but calm. "stop treating me like a prize to fight over. it’s fucking embarrassing."

silence fell, thick and heavy. they looked at you, shock flickering across their faces. no one expected you to speak up like that, but they should have.

jay, who had been quietly watching from a distance, finally stepped forward, shaking his head. "she’s right," he muttered, his voice low but firm. "this isn’t about who gets more time with her. we’ve got bigger issues, and this isn’t helping anyone."

heeseung sighed, standing off to the side, clearly fed up with the situation. "you’re all making this harder than it needs to be," he said, frustration clear in his tone. "focus on the mission, or don’t, but stop dragging her into your bullshit."

jungwon’s smirk faded slightly as he stepped back, his hand dropping to his side. jake crossed his arms, still irritated, but held his tongue. sunghoon grumbled under his breath, jaw clenched, but the fire in his eyes had dimmed, at least for now.

"thank you," you muttered, tension still thick in your voice as you exhaled, trying to shake off the frustration. "we’re supposed to be a team. stop making it about me and start acting like it."

for a moment, no one spoke. the tension hadn’t disappeared, still simmering just beneath the surface, but at least the arguing had stopped.

heeseung gave you a nod, his gaze softening slightly. "let’s move," he said quietly, taking control once more. "we’re wasting time."

then, with a slight smirk tugging at his lips, heeseung muttered, "i ain’t about to lose a game." the tension shifted, just a bit, as nostalgia flickered in his eyes. the familiar competitive spark returned, and for a moment, it cut through the frustration.

"remember when we used to play shit like this back on earth?" he added, his grin widening as he readied his weapon. "except, you know, without all the drama over her."

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. heeseung had a way of diffusing tension, even if he wasn’t letting anyone off the hook entirely.

jake scoffed, shaking his head but appreciating the shift. "yeah, well, it’s a little different when it’s not a damn game," he muttered, though his tone was less harsh now.

sunghoon, still visibly irritated, mumbled something under his breath but didn’t push further. jungwon chuckled softly, finally easing out of his defensive stance.

"fine, let’s finish this," you said, stepping forward, done with the back-and-forth. you glanced at heeseung, who was already back in position, his cocky grin growing.

"don’t worry," heeseung teased, aiming down his scope. "i’ll carry the team—like always."

his comment did the trick, cutting through the tension like a knife. as he confidently took the lead, the atmosphere lightened, if only slightly. even jake let out a small sigh, shaking his head with a reluctant smile on his lips.

you glanced at them, your heart beating a little faster. something about seeing them like this—competitive, bickering, but still a team—made your eyes soften. the jealousy, the tension, it was all still there, but moments like this reminded you why you cared about them.

sunghoon, though still tense, chuckled quietly, watching heeseung with his usual cocky grin. jungwon’s smirk widened, and jay rolled his shoulders as if getting ready for the final round. even jake caught your gaze for a split second, something softer flickering in his eyes, like he was glad to see you smile again.

your heart swelled, a warmth spreading through your chest as you looked at them. these guys—they drove you crazy, but there was no one else you’d rather be stuck in this mission with.

“alright, let’s finish this,” you said, steady, a small smile tugging at your lips.

heeseung glanced back at you, his smirk softening just a touch before nodding. "let’s win this." his voice carried that familiar spark of confidence, pulling everyone back into focus.

when the simulation finally ended, you all stumbled back into the main area, adrenaline still thrumming through your veins. everyone was sweaty, breathless, but the thick tension from before?

it hadn’t gone anywhere. if anything, it had only gotten worse, like the simulation had fanned the flames.

you stood there, trying to catch your breath, but their eyes were still on you—all of them watching you, their presence took up too much space, pressing in on you from all sides.

heeseung, still panting slightly, broke the silence as everyone’s eyes shifted toward the scoreboards. his smirk was cocky, almost too confident, like he knew he was the top scorer. "good job, everyone. hq’s gonna love this," he said, wiping sweat from his brow.

jay, leaning against the wall, let out a dry laugh, his chest rising and falling with labored breaths. "yeah, if we don’t melt first," he muttered, tugging at his collar, sweat beading on his skin.

"yeah, real fucking great," sunghoon muttered, his voice sharper than usual. his gaze slid toward you, his jaw tightening as he wiped sweat from his face. "is it just me, or does it feel like my body’s on fire?" he asked, irritation clear.

you felt it too. the heat. it wasn’t just adrenaline from the simulation—it was deeper, more intense, creeping through your skin. you shifted, wiping sweat from your neck, the burning sensation only growing. it wasn’t just sunghoon; all of you felt it.

"fuck, it’s too hot in here," jake grumbled, his voice rough as he ran a hand through his damp hair, his eyes flicking toward you like he couldn’t help himself.

jungwon, furrowed his brows, glancing at you for just a second before looking away. "this doesn’t feel right," he muttered, barely loud enough to hear. mind already working, to think of a reason why

you nodded, feeling the heat crawl up your spine, tingling your skin. the room felt heavy, charged with something unspoken. "we’ll cool down in a bit," you said, though even you weren’t sure you believed it. "just… take a breather."

heeseung rubbed the back of his neck, his smirk fading slightly. "maybe it’s just the sim," he suggested, but even he didn’t believe it.

so what did you all do? it was like an unspoken agreement—avoidance. everyone was way too pent up, way too on edge, but there was a collective decision to just… ignore it.

to push through. no one said it out loud: stay away, keep your distance, pretend like you weren’t all about to fucking lose it. avoidance felt like the only option left.

it’ll only be a few more days, right?

those questions haunted every one of you. if you could just make it through the next few days… but deep down, you all knew what came after that. once the drug fully worked its way through your systems, once you had control again—if you ever did—none of you were going to hold back.

jake, jungwon, sunghoon, heeseung, jay—they all had the same hungry look in their eyes, even if they tried to hide it. they all had the same thought: if we make it through this without snapping, then what happens next? would any of you even be able to keep the floodgates closed once the pressure finally released? the thought was terrifying and thrilling all at once.

and yet, no one wanted to be the first to admit it. no one wanted to be the first to break the fragile illusion that you could all survive this, untouched, unscathed.

it was a cruel joke, really. why didn’t hq even think to send condoms or normal birth control pills? how the hell were you supposed to get through this when everything had been amplified to the point of unbearable? but then again, how would that even work up here? where do you even dispose of a condom in space?

you chuckled bitterly to yourself when you realized the answer. oh right. you don’t. every ounce of waste had to be accounted for. and birth control pills? those probably wouldn’t do shit anyway, not with the way your bodies were being pushed to their limits. being in space already messed with your systems—hell, your period barely functioned as it was. what the hell would a bunch of hormones do when everything else was already out of whack?

but hq—those assholes—clearly hadn’t thought any of this through. they sent you up here with experimental drugs and didn’t even bother to consider how those drugs would interact with the unique effects of living in space. maybe they knew, maybe they just didn’t care.

either way, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

and the worst part? you were all too far gone to care anymore.

on the sixth day, everything felt like it was teetering on the edge of disaster. you had done your best to avoid unnecessary contact, kept your distance, and stayed focused on the mission. but the air was thick, almost suffocating, and the tension you’d all been pretending to ignore was now impossible to avoid. it felt like you were all walking through a minefield, one wrong step and everything would blow.

you made your way to the helm, tablet in hand, your mind buzzing with the routine diagnostics you were supposed to be focused on. but then, without warning, you collided with sunghoon.

your body slammed into his, and for a moment, it felt like time stopped. the contact sent a shockwave through you, heat flaring under your skin as the air between you practically sizzled.

“watch where the fuck you’re going,” sunghoon snapped, his voice rough, thick with irritation. his hand grabbed your arm to steady you, but the touch lingered, his grip tight—too tight, his body rigid with the effort of keeping himself in check. his breathing was heavy, ragged, as if he was barely holding on.

“i—i didn’t see you, i’m sorry,” you muttered, trying to step back, but he didn’t let go. his eyes, usually cold and calculating, now burned with something much more dangerous—desire. anger. frustration. his jaw clenched, muscles flexing beneath his skin as he stared down at you.

“you think sorry’s gonna fix this?” he growled, his voice dripping with something darker.

“you think you can just walk around like this, pretending everything’s fine? look at us.” his hand dropped, pointing at the obvious bulge straining against his pants, his expression turning almost feral.

“we’re all fucked. we’ve been avoiding each other, without even fucking talking about it. because we know. we fucking know what’ll happen if we don’t.”

your breath hitched as his words hit you like a punch to the gut, the heat in the room only growing worse. your pulse quickened, your patience wearing thin. because, yeah, you felt it too.

the constant pull, the unbearable pressure building with every passing second—they were driving you to the edge of insanity. and now sunghoon, with his hard-on and his rage, was pushing you past your breaking point.

“and you’re not helping,” sunghoon continued, his voice low, venomous. his gaze was intense, his eyes locked onto yours, and you could feel the unspoken accusation in his words.

“what the fuck do you want me to do, huh?” you snapped back, your own frustration bubbling over. “you think this is easy for me? i’m trying to get through this just like the rest of you. but it’s getting worse, and i’m fucking losing it, too.” your voice shook with barely controlled anger, the heat in your body matching the fury in your words.

“yeah? well, you’re making it harder. look at me,” he gestured again to his erection, his eyes wild. “every time you walk into a room, it’s like this. and i can’t fucking take it anymore. none of us can.”

your patience snapped. the drugs, the tension, the constant avoidance—it was all too much. “you think i don’t feel it too?” you hissed, stepping closer to him, your body reacting to the proximity, the heat rolling off him in waves.

“you think i haven’t noticed the way you all look at me? i’m doing everything i can not to lose it. but right now? right fucking now, i want to fuck you so badly i can’t think straight.”

that shut him up. his eyes widened for a split second, shock flickering across his face before it was replaced with something far more dangerous. desire. raw, unfiltered desire. his lips parted, his breath coming in heavy, uneven bursts as he stared at you, his pupils blown wide with lust.

“then what the fuck are we waiting for?” he growled, stepping even closer, his body crowding yours, pinning you against the wall of the helm. his hand came up, gripping your waist, pulling you toward him. “because i’m this close to losing my shit, and if you want me, you better fucking say it.”

but before either of you could go any further, the door to the helm slid open, and heeseung walked in. his eyes immediately locked onto the two of you, and his expression darkened, taking in the tension, the heated air, the way sunghoon had you pinned against the wall.

“what the hell is going on in here?” heeseung barked, his voice cold, a sharp edge to it that cut through the room like a knife.

you and sunghoon turned to face him, both of you still breathing heavily, your bodies thrumming with unspent energy. you tried to step back, to regain some semblance of composure, but sunghoon didn’t move. his body was still pressed against yours, his gaze flicking to heeseung with a challenge.

“nothing,” you managed to mutter, though your voice was shaky, and you knew you weren’t fooling anyone.

heeseung crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing as he glanced between the two of you. “get it together,” he snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. “we’re all fucking on edge, but you don’t get to let it turn into this.”

“you think i’m not trying?” sunghoon shot back, his voice full of frustration. “look at us, heeseung. it’s getting worse. we’re fucking losing it. and no one’s saying a goddamn thing.”

heeseung stepped forward, his eyes hard. “you think i don’t know that?” his voice was low, dangerous, as he stared sunghoon down. “but we don’t get to crack. not here. not now.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides, but he didn’t say anything. his body was still rigid, the anger radiating off him in waves.

“this ends now,” heeseung said firmly, his gaze locking onto you for a brief second before he turned back to sunghoon. “get out of here. cool down.”

sunghoon let out a bitter laugh, his eyes flashing with frustration. “cool down? yeah, sure,” he muttered, turning and storming out of the room, the door sliding shut behind him with a sharp hiss.

as the door closed, you let out a shaky breath, your body still trembling from the intensity of the confrontation. heeseung stood there for a moment, watching you closely, his expression unreadable.

“this isn’t over,” he muttered quietly, more to himself than to you.

as sunghoon departs, heeseung’s eyes burned with an intensity that made your heart race, locking you in place. the beeping from the console felt deafening, a sharp contrast to the heavy silence between you two. your jaw was still tight from the argument with sunghoon, your thoughts racing as you tried to make sense of it all.

you moved to leave, wanting to shake off the tension, but heeseung’s hand shot out, gripping your wrist firmly and pulling your closer. your breath hitched, the sensation overwhelming your already sensitive body.

the second his fingers reached out and brushed against your waist, it was like being jolted with electricity. your skin burned, and a small, unintentional whimper escaped your lips, loud in the tense silence between you.

the sound broke something in him. his eyes widened, panic flashing across his face, and he immediately let go, his hands pulling back as if he had been burned. “shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, stepping back like he had crossed a line. "fuck, i didn’t mean to—"

you stood there, still feeling the lingering heat from where his hands had been. the space between you now felt like an unbridgeable gap.

“heeseung,” you said quietly, your voice trembling. you weren’t sure what you were about to say, but the words just wouldn’t form.

heeseung took a deep breath, his fists clenching at his sides as if trying to fight the pull between you two. for a moment, he just stared, like he was caught between wanting to move closer and knowing he shouldn’t.

then, without another word, he turned sharply on his heel and walked away, leaving you standing there, breathless, your body still tingling from the brief contact.

he didn’t even look back.

you stood frozen, feeling the heat from where his hands had been, his absence a punch to your gut. the silence that followed felt deafening, and the frustration burned hotter than before.

your skin still tingled, aching for something more, something that had been taken from you the second he pulled away. you wanted to scream, to call him back, but your voice caught in your throat.

as the door slid shut behind you, you couldn’t take it anymore. your body still tingled from the brief touch, frustration boiling over into something you couldn’t quite contain. the thought of heeseung leaving, the tension left unresolved, drove you mad. you needed to get out, clear your head.

you walked through the dimly lit halls, each step feeling heavier, the cold steel of the ship’s floor beneath your feet doing nothing to cool the fire inside you. the endless view of space through the windows felt surreal, like a vast reminder of how far away you were from normality, from any sense of control. all you wanted was a break—a moment to breathe. something, anything, to quiet the chaos inside your head.

coffee—that’s what you needed. something simple, familiar. maybe it would help you focus, keep the drug from dragging you deeper into this mess. as you made your way toward the dining area, you tried to shake off the tension, the lingering heat crawling over your skin, making you desperate for relief.

but the second the door to the common room slid open, you weren't alone.

they were all here and they turned to look at you at the same time, their heads snapping toward you in sync like they’d been waiting for you. each of them had been doing their own thing—jay lounging on the couch, scrolling through something on his tablet; jake standing by the counter, hands gripping a cup; jungwon sitting cross-legged at the table, absentmindedly playing with a datapad, his eyes unreadable; and sunghoon, leaning against the far wall, arms crossed, gaze sharp. heeseung, on the other hand, sat in the far corner, his posture relaxed, but his eyes sharp, tracking your every move. his legs were spread, one arm draped over the back of the chair, while the other rested on his thigh, fingers twitching slightly, as if itching to grab something—or someone.

the room felt suffocating, their eyes burning into you.

for a split second, none of them moved, the silence stretching out. your breath caught in your throat as their gazes lingered on you, like they knew exactly what was going through your mind—because it was going through theirs too. the drug was making sure of it.

you swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself as you stepped further into the room. the weight of their stares clung to you like a second skin, but you forced yourself to focus. coffee—just make the damn coffee, keep your head down, and act like nothing was wrong.

"morning," you muttered, your voice barely breaking the thick silence. no one replied, but you didn’t expect them to.

you crossed the room, feeling their eyes track your every move. your fingers fumbled a bit as you grabbed a cup, your hands shaking just enough for you to curse under your breath. you could feel the tension rising behind you, like the air itself was alive, pressing in from all sides. the coffee machine sputtered to life, the sound breaking through the quiet like a crack of thunder.

as the coffee dripped into the cup, you felt it—the way sunghoon’s gaze bore into you. more intense than the others. his arms were still crossed, jaw clenched so tight you could hear the faint grind of his teeth. you avoided looking his way, pretending you didn’t feel the heat of his stare burning a hole into the back of your head.

you reached for the sugar, your hand trembling just a bit, and that’s when it happened. the packet slipped from your fingers, falling onto the floor with a light thud. such a small, insignificant thing, but in the charged air of that room, it felt like a bomb going off.

"seriously?" sunghoon snapped, the sharpness in his voice cutting through the silence like a blade. you froze, your hand still hovering in midair, your pulse racing. "you can’t even hold on to a fucking sugar packet now?"

your breath hitched, and the room seemed to shrink. the tension that had been building over the last few days finally cracked open, raw and exposed. you could hear the frustration in his voice, the way the drug had been chipping away at his self-control, just like it had with everyone else.

"what’s your problem?" you shot back, your voice shaky but defensive. you weren’t about to let him get away with snapping at you like that, even though you knew—fuck, you knew—he was feeling the same unbearable pressure you were.

“dude, cut it out,” jay jolted up from his seat, glaring at sunghoon with a warning edge in his voice. “turn off your asshole mode for one goddamn moment.”

sunghoon’s fists clenched, but he didn’t fire back immediately. the room was tense, thick with frustration, and you could feel the heat radiating off them.

jay wasn’t backing down, and the silence that followed made it clear that no one was about to challenge him. his eyes locked on sunghoon, daring him to keep pushing.

“fucking bitch,” sunghoon mumbled, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

the shift in the room was immediate. tension snapped like a wire pulled too tight. jake slammed his cup onto the table, the loud clatter echoing through the silence.

“woah.” jake’s voice was low, dangerous. in seconds, he was in front of sunghoon, eyes blazing with disbelief and fury. he had sunghoon cornered against the wall, his grip on sunghoon's shoulder hard enough to make it clear—this wasn’t just a conversation. “what the fuck did you just say?”

sunghoon’s eyes narrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. he wasn’t backing down, even though his breath came in heavy, uneven bursts. but he didn’t speak, refusing to give jake the satisfaction.

“say it again,” jake’s voice dropped colder, his grip tightening. “go ahead, say it again. i fucking dare you.”

jay and jungwon exchanged glances before stepping forward, their expressions unreadable but ready to intervene.

“jake, man, chill,” jay said, his tone calm but firm, cutting through the charged air. “this isn’t how we handle this.”

sunghoon, not one to let things go, shot a glare at jay. “oh, so now you decide to talk, huh? you’ve been real fucking quiet, jay.”

his words hung heavy in the air, a sad attempt to shift the blame, deflect attention from the fact that he had crossed the line. he was scrambling, and it was obvious to everyone.

jay’s gaze turned steely as he stepped further into the circle of tension. “oh, i’ve got plenty to say,” he said, voice sharp. “been sitting back, watching you all fall apart like amateurs.” his gaze swept the room, finally locking onto you.

“me? i’m making sure i don’t lose my shit and do something reckless—like calling her a bitch. that's low, man.”

the atmosphere grew thick, everyone holding their breath. jay’s words hit hard, the room now electric with barely-contained tension.

“trust me,” jay continued, his voice dipping into something darker, “you’d have to be a fucking idiot not to know what’s at stake here.”

jake’s jaw clenched, his fists balled at his sides. “and you think you’re handling this better?” he growled, clearly not liking the way your face softened while listening to jay.

before jay could respond, jungwon stepped in, his hand gently pulling jake back. “he is,” jungwon said quietly. “you have to admit it.”

jay’s smirk faded as he met your gaze. “i’m backing the fuck off because if i don’t, i’m gonna do something we can’t undo. with these drugs? any sane person would’ve put a baby in her by now if they got too close.”

the silence that followed was deafening. jay had ripped open the truth everyone had been avoiding. the tension, the desire, the drugs—everything had been building to this, and now, it was all laid bare.

you swallowed hard, the weight of his words sinking in. every lingering look, every accidental brush of hands—it had all felt dangerous. but hearing jay say it out loud made it undeniable.

jungwon broke the silence, his usually calm exterior now showing cracks. “he’s not wrong,” he muttered, his voice strained, like he was barely holding himself together. “this shit is dangerous. for all of us.”

sunghoon let out a bitter laugh, more frustration than humor. “so what, you’re just gonna back off and leave her to the rest of us?” his eyes flicked to you, sharp and possessive, challenging anyone to take his place.

jay didn’t miss a beat. “i’m stepping back because none of us are thinking straight. and if you were smart, you’d do the same. because right now? all you’re doing is letting the drugs push you toward something you’ll fucking regret.”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening at his sides, but he didn’t say anything. the anger radiated off him in waves, but he held his tongue.

“just drop it, you're stressing her out.” heeseung’s voice boomed finally taking the chance to intervene, his eyes locking onto you for a brief moment before returning to sunghoon.

sunghoon’s lips pressed into a thin line, but the fire in his eyes hadn’t dimmed. “fine,” he muttered, storming out of the room.

as the door slid shut behind him, you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tension seep out of your body. your heart was still racing, the intensity of the confrontation leaving you rattled.

you couldn’t deny it— it was a dangerous mix, and the line between control and chaos had never been thinner.

heeseung's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. instead, he sighed, frustration heavy in his voice.

“let’s just… call it a night.” he ran a hand through his hair, the others silently agreeing, even though sleep seemed impossible.

you turned and walked out without another word, your footsteps echoing down the cold, metal corridor. the dull throb behind your eyes pulsed in time with the tension still hanging in the air. everything felt too tight, too close. the once-familiar hallways now felt suffocating, closing in on you with every step.

when you reached your quarters, the temptation to lock yourself away was overwhelming. all you wanted was space—any kind of break from the constant pressure, from them.

you slid down against the door, letting the cool surface steady you. closing your eyes, you tried to will the headache away, but it stayed, just like everything else.

you didn’t think it could get any worse, but it did.

the ship’s hum, once soothing, now grated on your nerves like nails on a chalkboard. the dim lights barely pierced the darkness, casting jagged shadows that made the room feel more like a cage than a sanctuary.

now that you thought about it, the hours blurred together, each one more unbearable than the last. frustration grew with every second. each morning was a repeat of the last—everyone keeping their distance, their eyes lingering too long on you, simmering with tension that never seemed to break. the fight that happened only made things worse. waiting it out wasn’t helping—it was a ticking time bomb.

hq, oblivious to the storm brewing inside the ship, continued with their routine updates, spewing rehearsed bullshit. they couldn’t see how the crew was falling apart—the heated glances, the touches that felt like fire, the way everyone was one misstep from tearing each other apart. but it couldn't last too much longer, right?

jungwon was doing his best to keep it together, but even his usual calm was cracking. his eyes darkened every time they flicked toward you, his jaw clenched tighter with every passing interaction. he was feeling it just as much as the rest—just better at hiding it. for now.

jake? he was a fucking mess. he hardly spoke, keeping to himself, but the tension around him was like a live wire. he was always there, always watching, his gaze burning into you from across the room. he wanted you—needed you—and the drugs were turning that need into something nearly uncontrollable.

subtlety? sunghoon was done with that. every conversation felt like a battle. his sharp, biting words barely hid the hunger in his eyes. he wasn’t playing games anymore. the tension between you two was a powder keg waiting to explode. his irritation was impossible to miss when jungwon or jake stepped in—his possessiveness simmered just beneath the surface, ready to boil over.

heeseung kept his distance, but his watchful gaze never left you. he was calculating, waiting for the right moment. more than once, you caught him staring, his expression unreadable, but the intensity in his eyes spoke volumes. he was just as deep in this mess—he was just better at keeping his desires under control.

and jay? fuck. he claimed he was "backing off," but that was bullshit. he might’ve kept his physical distance, but his presence was suffocating. his eyes always found yours, and for just a split second, you saw the raw hunger before he hid it. he wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all you.

the air on the ship was suffocating. every meal, every briefing was thick with tension. conversations were clipped, bodies stiff, movements calculated to avoid any accidental contact. but their eyes lingered, their restraint slipping. everyone was fucking cracking.

then there were the drugs. goddamn the drugs. coursing through your veins, amplifying everything until you couldn’t think straight. your senses were overloaded—their scent, the heat from their bodies when they got too close, the way a glance sent shivers down your spine. it was too much. everything was too fucking much.

you were in the last 24 hours, the countdown to what felt like an eternity of agonizing, drug-fueled fever dream that had turned the ship into a pressure cooker.

you woke up, your body ablaze, every inch of your skin tingling with raw, desperate need. it was leaving you breathless and trembling. your hand slid over your heated skin, but it wasn’t enough.

all you could think about was them—each one of them—and the way their hunger for you was growing, spiraling out of control.

your hand moved between your thighs, a soft moan escaping your lips as you tried to ease the ache gnawing at you from the inside. but it wasn’t enough. nothing was enough.

you needed them—all of them. their hands, their mouths, their bodies. you imagined their touch, the heat of their breath against your skin, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

the ship was silent, but you knew you weren’t the only one awake, fighting the same losing battle. you could hear it—the quiet creaks of the bunks, the muffled sounds of frustration, the ragged breathing as they struggled to hold on to the last remnants of control.

you stumbled into the dining area, your body buzzing with pent-up tension, the dull throb of desire pulling at your every nerve. even the brush of your arm against the cold metal wall sent a jolt through you, making you bite your lip against the overwhelming ache deep in your core.

this was hell.

"good morning," you managed, your voice shaking, betraying the sleepless night that had left you on edge.

sunghoon, standing by the counter, clutched his coffee mug with trembling hands, the usual calm on his face shattered, replaced by raw frustration. his knuckles were white, gripping the porcelain as if it was the only thing anchoring him. “morning,” he grunted, his voice rough, thick with need. “this shit’s worse than we fucking expected.”

you slid into a chair, avoiding their eyes, but the tension in the room was impossible to ignore. you were the epicenter of this storm, and pretending otherwise was pointless. little did you know this would be the last relatively calm moment before everything unraveled.

jake stormed into the room, his easygoing demeanor nowhere to be found. frustration was etched into every line of his face, his movements aggressive as his eyes locked on you with a predatory gleam. he slammed a stack of papers onto the table, the sound echoing harshly in the confined space.

“how much longer are we supposed to deal with this?” he snapped, voice raw and barely restrained. “it’s driving me fucking insane.”

“tell me something i don’t know, jake,” you shot back, your own patience frayed. the words came out sharper than intended, but you were on edge. the drug was messing with your mind, and their relentless focus on you wasn’t helping.

jake’s eyes flared as he stepped closer, fists clenched. “watch your tone,” he warned, his voice low, simmering with frustration.

you leaned back in your chair, a smirk tugging at your lips. “my tone?” you shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “you’re the one losing it, jake. if you can’t handle a little attitude, maybe you’re in the wrong place.”

before jake could respond, jay stormed into the room, his usual calm shattered. desperation was clear in his eyes as he approached, tension radiating from him with every step.

“we need to call hq now,” he growled, his gaze sharp. “i’ve jerked off eleven times, and i’m still hard as fuck. this shit’s unbearable.”

jungwon entered next, his fists clenched, jaw set tight enough to make his teeth grind. the room grew even more suffocating with his presence.

“i can’t even get off,” he muttered darkly, frustration heavy in his voice. “is fucking you the only solution-”

you rolled your eyes, pushing your chair back. “oh, please.”

jungwon’s eyes darkened, his irritation barely contained. “cut me off again, and i’ll make sure your mouth’s too busy to even breathe,” he threatened, his voice cold.

“it’s affecting all of us,” jake growled, stepping closer, his frustration simmering. “and it’s your fault. everything about you—your scent, your presence—I’m about to fucking lose it.” his voice trembled with barely restrained need.

the tension was unbearable, pressing in from all sides. sunghoon slammed his clipboard onto the table, the sharp sound breaking the thick silence.

“you don’t get it,” he snarled, his voice a low growl. “every breath, every second near you—it’s driving me insane. all I want is to bury my dick in you, over and over.”

jake moved closer, his breath hot against your neck. “you think you’re keeping it together?” he whispered, voice thick with desperation. “i’m losing my mind. just being near you is fucking torture. i’m this close to throwing you on this table and fucking you until you can’t think.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine, fear and excitement tangling together as you stepped back—right into jay’s chest. his hands gripped your shoulders, steadying you but trapping you in place.

“back off, jake,” jay snarled, his grip tightening, eyes burning with possessiveness.

“shut the fuck up,” jake spat, shoving jay hard enough to make him stumble. the air crackled with tension as they squared off, ready to fight or fuck.

jungwon leaned against the wall, a smirk playing on his lips. “enjoying this, y/n?” he taunted, his voice laced with sadistic pleasure. “watching us lose control, tearing each other apart over you? must be fun, knowing you can take your pick whenever you want.”

you gripped the edge of the table, knuckles white as you fought to keep control over the storm raging inside you. "i didn’t ask for this fucking chaos," you spat, glaring at jungwon, your voice trembling with barely contained frustration.

sunghoon moved closer, his presence suffocating, eyes burning with a mix of fury and lust. his breath was hot against your skin as he growled through clenched teeth, “i fucking swear, y/n. you’re going to beg me to stop,” his voice low and threatening, “and then beg me not to.”

a violent shiver ran down your spine, your body reacting to the intensity of his words, the heat between your legs growing unbearable.

jake groaned, leaning in even closer, his voice shaking with desperation. "just one touch, please. you don’t understand how bad this is. i’m aching all over, and looking at you is fucking killing me." his words hung in the air, his need palpable, making your pulse race.

just the sound of their voices had you soaked, arousal dripping down your thighs as you sat down, the sticky mess squishing uncomfortably against the cold steel beneath you.

your legs trembled as you squeezed them together, desperate for any relief from the ache building inside you.

"shut up," you whispered, barely audible, but they heard. the raw need in your voice made everyone freeze for a moment, their breathing heavy. "just fucking shut up."

the simple act of rubbing your legs together for friction sent a wave of sensation through you, and they noticed. the low groans they let out were enough to make your heart skip a beat.

heeseung, who had been watching from the sidelines, finally stepped forward. his eyes dark with desire, he towered over you, his voice dangerously low.

"can’t believe getting talked down on made you wet," he murmured, leaning down until his lips brushed your ear, sending a shockwave of heat through your body. "it’s crazy how after all this, you still don’t get how far we’re willing to go. you have no fucking idea, y/n."

his words made you shudder, your breath catching as the throbbing between your legs intensified. your thighs clenched tighter, but it only worsened the ache, the wetness pooling between your legs making it impossible to think straight.

everything was spiraling out of control. every fiber of your being screamed for release, for something—anything—to break this unbearable tension.

“we can’t keep this going,” you breathed out, your voice barely steady, chest heaving as you fought to regain control over yourself. the weight of their eyes on you felt overwhelming, each of them watching, waiting, ready to snap.

jay, pacing restlessly, let out a low, dangerous chuckle. “oh, but we can,” he muttered darkly, his gaze locked on you like a predator closing in. “this isn’t about control anymore, y/n. we’re past that. pick someone. now. before this blows up in ways you won’t like.” his voice was thick with impatience, his words vibrating with raw, untamed desire. well, it appeared that the fight yesterday and the conversation about backing off went right out the fucking window. whatever thin thread of self-control they had clung to had snapped, leaving the room simmering with tension.

there was no more pretending, no more playing along with the idea that this was just a temporary phase to ride out.

"fuck this," sunghoon growled, patience shattered as he yanked your chair toward him, his frame looming over you, heat radiating off his body. his eyes burned with frustration, and hunger.

“you think you can keep teasing us?” his voice dripped with venom. “sitting there, soaked, trembling—like we wouldn’t fucking notice?” his tone dropped, dangerous and possessive. “shit, you look like you’re about to piss yourself.”

the second his hands gripped your thighs, your body jolted, heat flooding through you, your moan spilling out louder than you intended. sunghoon’s grip tightened as he pushed your legs apart, revealing the soaked mess of your uniform.

cold air brushed against your skin, and you shuddered, but worse than that was the room’s collective reaction—their eyes locking onto the wetness between your legs.

“fuck,” sunghoon muttered under his breath, fingers digging into your skin as he stared down, primal need flashing across his face. his body went taut, every muscle coiled with tension.

the others reacted just as violently. jake slammed his fist into the table with a loud crash. jay knocked a chair over, sending it clattering to the floor. heeseung gripped the counter, knuckles white, his jaw clenched as if he were on the verge of snapping.

“look at what you’ve fucking done,” jay muttered, pacing, his voice low and dangerous. “you’re driving us insane.”

the air buzzed with electricity. sunghoon’s hands didn’t leave your body, his grip firm, possessive. he leaned closer, eyes flicking between your flushed face and your legs spread before him.

“this isn’t going to end how you think,” he whispered darkly. "you’re not walking away from this, not when you’re this desperate."

sunghoon dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands moving with reckless desperation, tearing at your soaked pants. the fabric ripped easily, leaving you exposed, vulnerable. the cold air on your skin only amplified the heat coursing through your body, the throbbing ache between your legs unbearable.

for a second, all you could hear were your own ragged breaths and sunghoon’s, both of you caught in the intensity of the moment. his eyes were fixed on the wetness between your thighs, his tongue darting out as he stared at your pathetic excuse of panties, barely holding together.

but then, chaos.

jake lunged forward, grabbing sunghoon by the collar and yanking him away with a feral snarl. "dude, stop!" jake’s voice was raw, frustration boiling over as he shoved sunghoon back, his face twisted with anger and jealousy.

heeseung followed, stepping in, eyes blazing as he pushed sunghoon further. “are you fucking insane?” he growled, fists clenched, the restraint in his voice hanging by a thread.

sunghoon staggered back, his eyes wide and wild, trying to process everything. "make up your damn minds!" he snapped, voice shaky.

jay, pacing furiously, kicked a chair, sending it skidding across the room with a loud crash. "you’re not getting first fucking dibs, sunghoon!" he spat, barely holding his anger in check.

sunghoon, trembling and panting, made another move toward you, his hand reaching out, but jake grabbed him, his grip tight. "back off, man," jake growled, his voice low, eyes hard.

you shook, heart pounding as you watched them unravel. their raw frustration, the hunger in their eyes—it was overwhelming. your body quivered, every nerve on fire, the heat of their desire pressing down on you.

sunghoon’s eyes met yours again, wild with need. he wasn’t giving up.

you glanced down at yourself—disheveled, thighs still slick, body a mess. you wanted this, god, you wanted it so badly it hurt. the craving burned through you, desperate for their touch, for their bodies against yours.

but then the thought of pregnancy cut through the haze—being filled by all of them. that was the only thing stopping you from fully surrendering.

on shaky legs, you stood, gripping the table for support. the room was heavy with silence, the tension unbearable. their eyes were locked on you, devouring every inch, their frustration and need a mirror to your own.

you were barely holding it together, torn clothes clinging to your sweat-soaked body, but you couldn’t let them see you break.

the quiet stretched, thick and suffocating, every second dragging out as the weight of what just happened hung between you all. your breath hitched, chest tight, trying to stay calm.

then jungwon spoke, breaking through the suffocating tension.

"fuck, this isn’t working anymore," he said, voice low, strained. his eyes lingered on you briefly before shifting to the others. "i didn’t think i’d say this… but follow me."

the atmosphere shifted instantly. confusion flickered across their faces as they glanced between each other. your heart raced, unsure what jungwon meant—unsure what was about to happen.

"where?" jake asked, his voice sharp.

jungwon’s jaw clenched, frustration evident. “just follow me,” he repeated, more firmly this time, his calm starting to crack.

jay stepped forward, glaring at him. "where the hell are you taking us?"

"the greenhouse," jungwon answered, his tone tight, barely keeping his composure.

“the greenhouse?” jake echoed, his disbelief momentarily cutting through the tension. “what the fuck are we gonna do in the greenhouse?”

"just... trust me," jungwon snapped, his eyes locking onto each of them in turn. you could see how hard he was fighting to hold it together. "we can’t stay here. it’s only gonna get worse."

the words hung in the air, the tension thickening. for a moment, no one moved, uncertain. the greenhouse was isolated, quiet, but why take everyone there now?

reluctantly, they exchanged looks. the tension was unbearable; staying here was a risk. one by one, they followed jungwon out of the common room, frustration simmering beneath the surface, but trusting his judgment enough to go along.

jungwon glanced at you, his voice softer now. "come on." something flickered in his eyes—something unreadable.

your heart pounded, but you nodded, taking a shaky breath as you followed, unsure if leaving would ease the tension—or make it worse.

as you all walked, the silence stretched out between you like a taut wire. no one spoke. the only sound was the soft echo of footsteps through the narrow corridors. they kept their distance, eyes focused ahead, but you could feel the weight of their gazes trailing after you, their restraint barely holding.

your legs trembled with every step, the cool air brushing against your exposed skin only sharpened the sensations, your torn uniform clinging to your damp body.

you were still soaked, your thighs slick and uncomfortable, the heat between your legs impossible to ignore.

would the greenhouse ease the tension? or was this just delaying the inevitable?

as you stepped inside, the usual peace of the greenhouse was lost on you. the soft glow of the lights and the lush plants that surrounded you faded into the background.

all you could focus on was the pulse between your legs, the tension hanging thick in the air between you and the others. each of them was fighting their own battle, their barely-controlled desire palpable.

you all spread out, keeping a foot of distance between one another, but it felt pointless.

no one spoke. jungwon moved to the far end, his back turned to the group, hands fumbling through the drawers, the soft clink of metal breaking the silence.

you watched him, trying desperately to focus on anything but the ache inside you. every second that passed felt like an eternity.

his fingers brushed over something soft—a silky texture—and he froze. you saw his posture stiffen, his jaw clench, and you didn’t need to see what he was holding to know it was something dangerous.

it was a baby pink silk restraint. his hand lingered on it for a moment, his breath catching before he muttered a curse under his breath.

god, it would look so good on you, he thought, frustration flickering across his face as he bit back whatever dark thought had formed. but not yet. his fingers slid past the restraints with a clenched jaw, reaching for something else.

he grasped a vacuum-sealed pack of leaves, pulling them out carefully. your breath hitched, mind racing with questions, but you stayed silent. then, he grabbed a small glass test tube, snapped the ends off, leaving tiny holes on both sides. what the hell was he doing? there was a clinical precision to his movements, but the tension in his body told you he was just as affected as everyone else.

“this should help,” he muttered, mostly to himself. his voice was tight, strained. though he wasn’t looking at you, his clenched jaw and white-knuckled grip on the glass were telltale signs he was barely holding it together.

his words hung in the air, and something about them felt wrong. the room froze, confusion settling over everyone as they glanced between him and the odd supplies he was handling.

“fucking weed?” jake’s voice sliced through the tension, disbelief and frustration spilling out. his glare locked onto jungwon. “you had weed this whole fucking time?”

the already thick atmosphere tightened further. all eyes turned to jungwon, their shock mirrored in expressions of disbelief.

“you’ve been sitting on this while we’ve been going insane?” heeseung scoffed, his restraint unraveling as anger simmered in his voice. “what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“what the hell, jungwon?” jay muttered, pacing furiously, running a hand through his hair. “you had something that could’ve helped while we’ve been losing our goddamn minds?”

jungwon, still focused on the leaves, barely glanced up. “you think i was sitting on this for fun?” his tone was tight, laced with frustration.

“this isn’t some regular plant. it’s from an alien planet. i had to be sure it wouldn’t mess with whatever experimental crap they pumped us full of.”

sunghoon, who had been unsettlingly silent until now, stepped forward, his eyes burning with fury as he glared down at jungwon. "so you waited until we’re this close to tearing each other apart to bring this up?" his voice was low, dangerous, barely restrained.

“it’s not that simple,” jungwon snapped, holding up the plant like it was a fragile artifact. “this thing could either help or completely screw us if it reacts badly.”

“you could’ve fixed this sooner,” jake growled, his fists clenched at his sides, stepping closer, frustration boiling over. “what the hell were you waiting for? an invitation?”

jungwon didn’t flinch. his eyes were sharp, jaw tight as he stood his ground. “you want to keep losing your shit?” his voice cut through the tension, hard and challenging.

he scanned the room, meeting each glare with a look that dared them to push further. the silence stretched between them, thick with unsaid threats. no one spoke, but the air crackled with tension.

the anger that had been fueling them all seemed to hit a wall, the realization settling in that despite their frustrations, they had no choice but to trust jungwon. the weight of it hung heavy in the air, no one willing to admit it out loud, but the decision had already been made.

“fine,” jay muttered darkly, glaring at jungwon. “but if this doesn’t work, you are the first one we’re coming after.”

the room was still buzzing with tension, but it seemed like, for now, they were willing to let jungwon do his thing.

you let out a small sigh, rubbing a hand over your face. “i’d kill for some indica right now,” you muttered under your breath, not realizing it until the words were already out.

there was a pause before a chorus of chuckles broke the silence. jake raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips as the tension finally eased, just a little. even jay, still pacing, let out a low, reluctant laugh, shaking his head.

“never figured you for a stoner, y/n,” heeseung chimed in from his spot, leaning back with a hint of amusement in his voice. his eyes flicked to you, playful, though the tension between you wasn’t entirely gone.

"guess there’s still a lot we don’t know about her," jungwon muttered, a smirk tugging at his lips as he glanced over at you, the dark intensity in his eyes softening into something more amused.

your comment had loosened the grip of tension that had everyone on edge, even if only for a moment. everyone seemed to breathe a little easier, their anger simmering into something manageable.

“indica, huh?” sunghoon finally spoke up, shaking his head with a slight smirk. “figured you’d be more of a sativa type, to be honest.”

“nah,” you replied with a half-hearted shrug, feeling more at ease as the mood shifted. “i like to be relaxed, not bouncing off the walls.”

jake snorted, running a hand through his hair. “well, let’s hope jungwon’s got the good stuff, or we’re all fucked.”

jungwon rolled his eyes, his hands still working quickly on the mixture, though you caught a flicker of a smile at the corner of his lips. “if this works, you’ll all be thanking me soon enough.”

heeseung leaned forward, his eyes sharp as they locked on jungwon. “so what, you haven’t tried it yourself?”

jungwon didn’t look up from his task, fingers deftly moving, but the brief pause before he answered brought the tension creeping back into the room. “no, not exactly.”

jake’s eyebrow shot up. “not exactly? the hell does that mean?”

jungwon sighed, the annoyance clear in his voice. “i’ve done the research. i know the compounds, and it’s designed to counteract the enhancement drug they’ve been giving us. i just haven’t had a reason to use it yet.”

“so we’re the fucking guinea pigs now?” jay scoffed, his frustration bubbling back to the surface.

jungwon huffed, his voice edged with irritation. “i haven’t smoked a day in my life, alright? but i’m smart enough to know it’s got the compounds to calm us down.”

the room fell silent for a beat before jake let out a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. “so you’ve never smoked, and now we’re trusting you to dose us with some alien space weed? you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

sunghoon, arms crossed, still fuming, shot jungwon a glare. “so, what? we’re supposed to just hope you don’t screw this up?” his voice was sharp, dripping with irritation. “you really think we’re gonna go along with this when you don’t even know if it’s gonna work?”

jungwon’s jaw clenched, eyes flicking between them, clearly over their shit. “do any of you have a goddamn degree?” he snapped, not even looking up as his hands worked swiftly.

“because last time i checked, i’m the one with a background in biochemistry. so unless you’re secretly holding out on some phd in alien botany, shut the hell up and let me do my job.”

sunghoon's glare didn’t waver, but the sharp edge of his frustration dulled for a moment as jungwon's words hit. there was a flicker of acknowledgment in the silence that followed.

jake, however, wasn’t ready to let it go so easily. “yeah, well, last time i checked, your degree didn’t come with a guarantee this alien weed won’t mess us up even more,” he quipped, arms crossed, but there was a slight grin tugging at his lips.

jungwon rolled his eyes, finally looking up, clearly done with their bullshit. “you want to keep arguing, or do you want to get out of this without tearing each other to pieces?” he shot back, his patience visibly thinning. “because i’d love to stand here and debate this, but we don’t exactly have time for a fucking TED talk.”

heeseung, who had been watching from the sidelines, let out a low chuckle.

“fine, doc. we’ll shut up and let you save the day with your alien potions. but if this goes sideways…”

jungwon cut him off, deadpan. “yeah, yeah. you’ll all come for my ass. i’ve heard it. now, can we get on with it?”

sunghoon’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing on jungwon, but he didn’t push any further, taking a step back with a begrudging sigh. “just don’t screw this up.”

jungwon stayed focused on his task, ignoring their complaints. "if we get through this without killing each other, it’ll be a miracle," he muttered, his hands working swiftly over the alien plant like it was routine.

jake snorted, watching jungwon carefully, though some of the tension had eased. "if we do, you’re never living this down."

jungwon shot him a quick glare. "good thing i don’t give a shit about your approval, huh?"

the room remained thick with tension as jungwon sealed the mixture and set it aside. everyone was on edge, eyes shifting between you and jungwon, frustrations bubbling just beneath the surface.

sunghoon’s arms tightened across his chest, his jaw clenched. "so what now, jungwon? gonna roll it up and hope it works?"

jungwon shot him a sharp look, pulling out a small device. "no rolling. we’re vaporizing it. faster, cleaner. you’ll feel it in minutes." his voice was steady, but the tightness in his posture showed he was feeling the strain, just like the rest of you.

heeseung chuckled under his breath, his foot tapping against the floor. "minutes, huh? guess we won’t have to wait long to find out if it works."

jay, who had been pacing, paused, his eyes narrowing as he turned toward you. "what about you, y/n?" he asked, his tone pointed. "you trust jungwon with this? or are you as skeptical as the rest of us?"

you swallowed, your voice quieter than you intended. "i don’t know," you admitted, glancing at jungwon. "but we don’t have any other options."

sunghoon grunted from his spot against the wall, his gaze sweeping over you. "yeah, well, this better work. because if it doesn’t, i don’t know how much longer i can keep my hands off you." his voice was low, frustration and desire mixing into a dangerous edge.

jake, still glaring at jungwon, crossed his arms. "let’s just get this over with."

jungwon nodded, his movements precise as he set up the vaporizer. the tension thickened in the room, each second stretching as everyone waited for the first hit, anticipation hanging in the air like a storm about to break.

finally, jungwon took the first hit, exhaling slowly as the vapor filled the room. “one at a time,” he said, passing it to jake. “just try not to lose control yet, alright?”

jake inhaled deeply, his eyes flicking toward you, though his expression remained hard. the vapor passed through the group, each taking their turn as the scent thickened in the air.

when it reached you, you hesitated before lifting the device to your lips. the warm vapor filled your lungs, and for a moment, nothing changed.

then, you felt it—a subtle shift.

the tension in your body eased slightly, the tightness in your chest loosening. the ache in your core dulled just enough for you to breathe easier. you exhaled, the weight still there, but lighter.

"anyone feel anything yet?" jungwon asked, scanning the group, his own face showing a bit of relief.

jay leaned back, exhaling. "not gonna lie, jungwon. if this works, i’ll take back all the shit i said."

sunghoon, his eyes still locked on you, let out a low breath. "it’s working… but this is just the beginning, isn’t it?"

heeseung, now more relaxed, nodded slowly, the relentless tapping of his foot finally stopping. "yeah… it’s taking the edge off, but it’s not gonna keep us from snapping completely."

jungwon’s jaw tightened, but he gave a small nod. "it’ll help us hold on. that’s all we need for now."

as the minutes passed, the atmosphere in the room began to shift. the sharpness of desperation started to fade, replaced by a warmth that slowly spread through your body, relaxing muscles that had been tight for what felt like hours. the effect settled in like a haze, making everything feel slower, softer.

sunghoon, who had been rigid with frustration, let out a low chuckle, leaning his head back against the wall. "shit... this actually feels kinda good," he muttered, a hint of surprise in his voice.

jake, still leaning against the table, blinked a few times, his frown fading into something more relaxed. "yeah..." he murmured, a lazy grin forming on his face as he glanced around. "this is... better."

heeseung, who had been sitting tensely moments before, now leaned back in his chair, a slow, amused smile spreading across his face. "jungwon, man... you actually did something here," he said, his voice lighter, a bit dazed. the others were clearly feeling the high too.

jay, who had been pacing earlier, was now casually leaning against the wall, his usual dark intensity replaced by a half-smirk. "yeah, i’ll admit... didn’t expect this. i feel... fucking mellow." he laughed, running a hand through his hair as if he was still trying to process it.

jungwon, the most tightly wound of them all, finally looked up from his seat, his expression softening with a mix of relief and satisfaction. "it’s working," he said, his voice low and smooth, clearly feeling the effects himself. even his usual controlled posture had relaxed, his eyes slightly glassy.

you felt it too—the pressure that had been suffocating you for days seemed to melt away, replaced by a warm, buzzing sensation under your skin. the tension that had gripped your body so tightly was gone, and you were undeniably high. the lightness in your limbs was intoxicating.

sunghoon chuckled again, his gaze shifting to you. "you look like you’re finally not about to explode," he teased, his voice softer, the sharp edge gone. "how’s it feel, y/n?"

you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, the tightness in your chest loosening. "better," you admitted, leaning back, feeling their eyes on you, but without the suffocating intensity from before. "a lot better."

jake grinned lazily, his shoulders slumping as he settled into a more comfortable stance. "so this is what it feels like to not be two seconds away from losing it," he muttered, more to himself than anyone.

heeseung stretched out in his chair, his foot tapping finally still. "yeah, i could get used to this," he drawled, a slow grin spreading across his face. for the first time in days, he wasn’t on the verge of snapping.

jungwon, who’d been quiet, looked over at you, his eyes softer, the tension gone from his voice. "told you it would help," he said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

jay chuckled, shaking his head. "fuck, jungwon, you really had us doubting you. might be the best idea you’ve had."

sunghoon, still watching you, smirked lazily, his gaze no longer sharp but relaxed. "we should’ve gotten high sooner. would’ve saved a lot of trouble."

the room felt different—lighter. the tension that had suffocated everyone for days was replaced by a calm that had been missing. it wasn’t completely gone, but the edge had softened, smoothed out by the haze now filling the air. for the first time in what felt like forever, you could breathe.

"shit, we’ve got weed in space," jake muttered, laughing under his breath, his words slurred slightly. "if this ain’t the best thing ever... how the hell are we supposed to work now?" he leaned back against the table, a lazy grin on his face. "i don’t even want to touch a holo-pad."

jay chuckled again, his body loose as he glanced around. "yeah, fuck the mission for a second."

you caught jay’s eyes lingering on you, his gaze soft but still intense. he smirked, pushing off the wall, taking a slow step toward you, his eyes locked on yours. "shit, y/n... you look real pretty right now," he murmured, his voice dropping into a low rumble, the high relaxing him completely.

heeseung chuckled, nodding in agreement. "he’s not wrong... the weed’s hitting, and damn, you’re glowing." his voice was smoother now, the usual restraint gone, replaced with easy confidence.

sunghoon leaned in slightly, a slow grin spreading across his face. "yeah, this is... nice," he muttered, his gaze heavy with the haze but carrying a new kind of appreciation.

jungwon, clearly struggling to keep it together, was out of his element. his lips kept twitching, fighting off a laugh as his eyes darted around the room, wide and a little glassy, trying to maintain his usual calm demeanor.

you watched him press his lips together, body stiff as he fought the high. but when jake caught sight of him, it was over.

"holy shit—jungwon’s gone," jake laughed, loud and carefree. "look at him! man’s trying so hard not to fucking giggle, it’s killing him."

jay doubled over, slapping the wall as he tried to stay upright. "oh my god, he’s losing it," he gasped between laughs, pointing at jungwon, whose face had turned pink.

sunghoon shook his head, chuckling low. "dude, just let it out," he teased, enjoying watching jungwon squirm.

jungwon couldn’t hold back anymore. with a breathless laugh, he broke, his shoulders shaking as he buried his face in his hands. "fuck," he muttered, still laughing. "this is ridiculous."

everyone in the room joined in, the tension that had been building for days finally shattering. heeseung leaned back, laughing with the rest as jungwon gave in to the high.

"beginner’s luck, huh?" heeseung grinned, wiping a tear from his eye. "never thought i’d see you like this, jungwon."

jungwon, still giggling, waved them off. "shut up," he managed, his voice cracking with amusement. "this wasn’t supposed to go like this."

laughter filled the greenhouse, the heavy atmosphere replaced by a much-needed sense of relief. it was messy, chaotic, but for the first time in what felt like forever, it didn’t feel like everything was falling apart.

"so... i gotta ask," you said, breaking through the haze of laughter, your tone teasing. their attention snapped back to you, giggles fading as you continued.

"i get you guys hella horny, don’t i?" you grinned, the boldness of your words catching them off guard, a smirk spreading across your face. "when did it start?"

the room fell silent for a split second as your bold question lingered in the air, their eyes widening, expressions shifting from shock to amusement. the haze of the high made the moment even more surreal, everyone too relaxed to hide their reactions.

heeseung, the first to break the silence, let out a low laugh, stretching lazily in his chair. “damn, y/n, you really don't hold back with the questions,” he shot you a smirk, his tone dripping with that lazy confidence that came from the weed.

“but, i'mnot gonna lie, it’s been a while. you walking around like that didn’t make it easy either.”

jay, still leaning against the wall, raised an eyebrow at you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin. “yeah, we’ve been dealing with this shit for a minute,” he admitted, his voice smooth and casual, but there was no mistaking the way his eyes raked over you. “you’re not exactly easy to ignore.”

sunghoon, always the one to speak his mind, leaned forward, his smirk matching jay’s. “she’s asking for specifics,” he teased, his voice low, playful.

“when did it start? if you really want to know... it’s been there since the beginning.” his gaze softened as he added.

jungwon, still recovering from his laughing fit, cleared his throat, his face a little pink, though he tried to play it cool.

you laughed, the sound bright and a little tipsy from the relaxed atmosphere. “oh, so that’s why all the frustration, huh?”

heeseung leaned back in his chair, the high loosening everyone up as he sighed, grinning lazily. “alright, fine, didn't think i'd ever admit this but...” he said, voice more serious but still playful.

“if i'm being completely honest, I’ve been watching you a lot longer than I’d like to admit.” he looked directly at you, his grin softening. “a bit of a... peep show, you could say.”

the room went dead quiet. your breath hitched, his confession sinking in. even the others, lost in their own buzz, snapped their attention to him in surprise.

“what?” jake muttered, wide-eyed.

heeseung shrugged, completely unbothered. “not proud of it, but yeah. i’d see you in your room, getting ready... lingered a little longer than I should have.”

you felt your face flush, heart racing as his words hit. heeseung had been watching you all this time. how?

“wait, you were spying on her?” jay’s voice held surprise, but no judgment.

heeseung nodded, no shame in his voice. “yeah, guess you could call it that. but y/n didn’t exactly make it easy.” his eyes glinted with that dark intensity again. “you were always right there, looking so damn good, almost like you wanted me to watch.”

sunghoon let out a low whistle, shaking his head. “so that’s why you’ve been extra wound up around her, huh? then avoiding her like the plague.”

heeseung chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “you have no idea.”

your stomach flipped, a swirl of shock and something darker, more thrilling, stirred inside you. “how long?” you asked quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

heeseung met your gaze, his playful facade dropping for a moment. “long enough to know you’ve been driving me insane.”

"but i thought," you stammered, "wow, so from the start you've been trying to keep yourself in line. not like jake." you glanced at jake, who just smirked, shrugging.

heeseung chuckled, a deep sound that made your pulse spike. "that’s what i wanted you to think," he said, leaning back with a smug grin.

"i was careful. unlike jake—" he threw a playful glare at jake—"i didn’t let it get to me. well, not until recently."

“oh, come on,” jake muttered, clearly amused. “don’t act like you’re better than me. at least i didn’t spy on her.

jungwon, watching quietly, raised an eyebrow but stayed silent, observing.

your face burned as the puzzle pieces clicked into place. "so, all this time, you were just watching me? waiting for what?" your voice came out breathless, his confession settling heavily in the air.

heeseung’s grin widened, eyes darkening. "waiting for the right moment," he said smoothly. "waiting for you to realize none of us are as in control as you think."

"is this what people do when they’re high?" jungwon muttered, still sounding dazed, his wide eyes darting between you, heeseung, and the rest of the guys, struggling to keep up with the shift in mood.

jake snorted, rubbing his face as he tried to contain his laughter. "nah, man," he said, still chuckling, "this is what happens when we’ve been stuck in space too long, high as hell, and all our secrets start spilling out."

jay leaned against the wall, grinning. "welcome to the party, jungwon," he teased, giving him a playful nudge. "this is when shit gets real."

jungwon blinked rapidly, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe the conversation had shifted from calming down to confessions about spying and hidden desires. "i thought this was supposed to relax us, not... this," he mumbled to himself.

heeseung just laughed, clearly enjoying jungwon’s confusion. "nah, this is what happens when people get too comfortable. all the bottled-up shit comes out," he said, his gaze sliding back to you, still carrying that dark intensity. "and trust me, there’s a lot more to spill."

you smirked, leaning into the playful mood. "oh, we’re spilling secrets now? anyone else got something to confess while we’re riding this high?" your eyes gleamed with curiosity as you turned to jungwon. "how much of that stuff you got, jungwon? ’cause we could always smoke more."

jungwon stood up slowly, his posture loose, movements smooth. he looked so good right now, and you knew you weren’t hiding your thoughts well. your eyes traced the line of his shoulders, the easy way his body moved, and the heat of your gaze didn’t go unnoticed.

he caught your stare, but instead of calling you out, he just smirked, his eyes meeting yours with a knowing look that sent a shiver through you.

"you wanna know how much we’ve got?" his voice low and playful as he walked over to a small section of the greenhouse, gesturing to a tree standing tall with thick, lush leaves. "we’ve got a whole fucking tree."

the room went still for a beat before jake broke the silence with a disbelieving laugh. "you’ve been sitting on that this whole time?"

jay’s jaw dropped. "holy shit."

sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, laughing under his breath. "i thought this place was for ‘essential’ plants. guess that counts now, huh?"

jungwon shrugged, unfazed. "it’s part of my research. i made sure it’d be ready if we needed it." his gaze lingered on you a moment longer, his eyes dark, playful, and filled with quiet intensity.

you leaned back in your chair, laughing softly. "so we’ve got enough to keep this going?"

jungwon smirked, glancing back at the tree. "more than enough."

the room settled into a calm silence, everyone processing the absurdity of the situation—weed in space, a secret tree in the greenhouse, and a group of high, frustrated guys finally letting their guard down. It felt like something was about to break, but for now, it was almost... fun.

"so, what was in that vial you hid from me when i grabbed my kit?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at jungwon. the playful tone lingered, but curiosity slipped in. "i saw you stash it."

jungwon froze for a second, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. Instead of deflecting, though, his smirk grew wider, and he leaned against the wall, his gaze locking onto yours.

"smart girl," he said, his voice lower, more intimate. "no wonder i think about you more than i should." his eyes sparkled with something darker, sending a shiver down your spine.

the others groaned, rolling their eyes.

jake snorted. "finally, he flirts back. thought we were in for another lecture on compounds or some shit."

jay crossed his arms, shaking his head with a grin. "dude’s trying so hard to play it cool, but look at him—he's all grown up i'm gonna cry."

sunghoon leaned against the wall, laughing quietly. "guess even jungwon can’t resist."

jungwon shot them a glare, his smirk faltering for just a second before he composed himself, eyes flicking back to you. “don’t listen to these idiots,” he muttered, standing a little straighter. “but yeah… I might’ve kept that vial out of sight for a reason.”

you raised an eyebrow, curiosity spiking. “oh? and what’s in it?”

jungwon’s voice dropped, smooth but with a darker undertone. “did you really think i was that innocent?” he asked, tilting his head as he watched you closely. “i gave off that vibe from the start, didn’t i?”

you nodded, biting your lip, a shiver running down your spine. jungwon had always seemed so calm and composed—safe. but after that episode when he spanked you in your quarters you were already convinced he could be dangerous.

he leaned in just enough, voice low but loud enough for everyone to hear. “if we’re being honest, all i’ve been wanting to do is drug the fuck out of you and—” his lips curled into a wicked grin, “do whatever i want.”

the room froze.

every pair of eyes widened in shock, caught between disbelief and something darker.

“damn,” jake muttered, running a hand through his hair. “the fuck, jungwon?”

jay blinked, raising an eyebrow. “wow. didn’t expect that from you.”

sunghoon let out a low whistle, shaking his head, though a soft laugh escaped him. “we all knew you had some dark shit in you, but i didn’t think you’d just... say it.”

jungwon just shrugged, far too relaxed for someone who had just confessed something twisted. his eyes flicked back to you, heat radiating behind them, making your heart pound.

“so,” he said, smirking, “are we going to tell her we’ve been low-key scheming, or did you figure it out, y/n?” his voice was sharp, playful. “you’re smart—did you really buy my ‘nice guy’ act?”

sunghoon’s grin widened. “yeah, you didn’t think jungwon was that innocent, did you?”

you rolled your eyes, teasing. “i mean, the checking me out part was obvious—you guys didn’t even try to hide it. i just figured you were all perverts.” you paused, letting a smirk play on your lips.

leaning back in your chair, the tension in the air grew thicker, electric. “to be honest, though,” you added, voice light, “i liked knowing i could get you hard. it was fun.”

the room went dead silent again. shock, amusement, and lust mingled on their faces. they hadn’t expected that.

heeseung let out a low chuckle, his eyes darkening as he leaned in slightly. “well, at least you’re aware of your effect on us.”

jay raised his brows, a grin spreading as he ran a hand through his hair. “damn, y/n, didn’t think you’d just come out and say it like that.”

jake, unable to hold back his smirk, leaned forward. “so you like getting us worked up? that’s what all this teasing’s been about?”

sunghoon chuckled under his breath, though his gaze remained intense. “guess we’re getting more than we bargained for tonight.”

“yeah,” you replied confidently. “it was fun watching you squirm.”

the tension in the room was heavy now, thick with unspoken desire. you could feel the weight of their eyes on you, and it only made your skin tingle more.

"wow, this weed is definitely making it worse," you muttered, feeling the heat build inside you, the haze thickening the air around you. "sure, i don’t wanna fuck everyone’s brains out right now, but..."

your gaze drifted over them, the anticipation swirling in your stonmach. "it’s definitely getting me horny."

the atmosphere shifted, your words hanging in the air, making the tension in the room palpable. their reactions were instant—a flicker of barely-contained desire across their faces.

jake let out a low groan, leaning back against the table, eyes darkening. "you’re killing me, y/n," he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face, frustration clear. "you have no fucking idea."

jay chuckled, shaking his head. "we’re all barely holding it together, and you’re just sitting there, getting off on it?" his voice strained, fists clenched. "damn."

“gimme another hit, won,” you said, your voice dropping, teasing as you looked over at jungwon. your eyes locked, and the room seemed to still. the tension thickened, nearly unbearable.

jungwon blinked, not expecting your bold request, but his smirk quickly returned, eyes darker now. "you sure you can handle more, y/n?" his voice low, teasing but laced with warning. “we’re all on edge already.”

"yeah, i’m sure," you replied, holding his gaze. "let’s see if i can handle it."

the others watched with clear interest. jake raised an eyebrow, smirking. "shit, she’s going for more? that’s either brilliant or dangerous."

jungwon stepped closer, pulling out the vaporizer, his movements deliberate. “if you’re so eager,” he muttered, holding it out to you. your fingers brushed his as you took it, the brief contact sending a shiver through you.

you inhaled deeply, the warm haze filling your lungs, intensifying the heat and desire already coursing through you. the high hit harder this time, amplifying everything—the room felt hotter, the tension thicker.

“fuck,” you whispered, feeling the warmth spread through your body.

jungwon’s eyes never left you. "better?" he asked, voice tight like he was barely keeping it together.

you nodded, a smirk tugging at your lips. “yeah... but this,” you gestured at your ripped pants with a teasing grin, “this is uncomfortable.” your voice was thick with desire as your gaze drifted over the guys, taking in their reactions.

the room had grown unbearably hot, tension coiling tighter by the second. you sighed playfully, tilting your head. “mind if i strip a bit, boys?” you teased, not really waiting for permission, fingers already at the hem of your shirt. “love the gift, sunghoon, but it’s gotta go.”

sunghoon’s eyes widened, breath hitching as he leaned forward, gaze locked on you. “shit, y/n,” he muttered, voice trembling slightly. “you’re really doing this?”

jake groaned again, rubbing his face, clearly struggling. “fuck, she’s serious,” he muttered, voice thick with lust.

jay leaned back, eyes darker now, smirk still on his lips as he watched with a mix of hunger and amusement. “go ahead,” he drawled, voice low. “it’s your show.”

heeseung chuckled, watching as you slowly peeled off your clothes, revealing more skin. “well, this just got a hell of a lot more interesting,” he muttered, voice dripping with desire.

you felt their eyes on you, tracking every movement as you slipped out of your uniform, the cool air hitting your heated skin. the tension was almost suffocating as they watched, captivated by every inch you revealed.

“much better,” you teased, letting your clothes drop, now standing in just your shirt and underwear. their stares were heavy with unmistakable hunger.

"how many more hours we got?" you asked, voice laced with anticipation, your gaze flicking between them, all barely holding on.

heeseung glanced at the time, his eyes never leaving you. “twenty hours,” he muttered, voice rough with frustration.

jake groaned, his head dropping into his hands. “twenty more hours? we’re not gonna fucking make it.”

sunghoon’s eyes were glued to you, his breath shaky. “twenty hours... and you’re already stripping? how the fuck are we supposed to keep it together?”

jay chuckled, but his eyes were dark with desire. “shit, we barely held out this long, and now you’re making it harder—literally.”

you smirked, still buzzing from the high, their heated stares making your pulse quicken. “just wanted to make things... interesting,” you said, your voice dripping with challenge. “let’s see if you can last another twenty hours.”

"pass it," jake muttered, finally caving, knowing they needed something to take the edge off. his voice strained, tension clear as he reached for the vaporizer, his fingers brushing yours.

sunghoon groaned. "give it here,” he growled, rubbing his neck, clearly struggling for control. “if we’re stuck like this, might as well get fucked up.”

as the vaporizer made its rounds, the atmosphere shifted again. the weed wasn’t dulling their desire—it was amplifying it. their eyes lingered longer, the raw need in the air thickening.

you watched them, heart racing, body humming with anticipation. “looks like it’s gonna be a long night,” you murmured, your voice soft but full of challenge, daring them to hold on.

heeseung took a slow hit from the vaporizer, holding it in as he watched you, mischief glinting in his eyes. with a smirk, he leaned forward, voice low and teasing. “wanna shotgun?”

the room went silent, everyone’s attention snapping to you and heeseung. his suggestion hung in the air, thick with tension and curiosity.

your heart skipped a beat, the heat of his offer rushing through your veins. he was testing you, and they were all watching.

jake raised an eyebrow, leaning in, his grin widening. “shit... are we really doing this?”

sunghoon chuckled darkly, his eyes locked on you. “she’s not saying no.” jay’s smirk grew, arms crossed as he leaned back, watching.

you bit your lip, locking eyes with heeseung. “fuck it,” you said, your tone matching his. “let’s do it.”

heeseung’s smirk widened, and he moved closer, taking another slow hit from the vaporizer. without breaking eye contact, he leaned in, his face inches from yours, the heat between you nearly suffocating.

you closed the distance, taking the smoke from him as he exhaled. the proximity made your pulse race, the moment electric, charged with a new kind of tension.

as you finished inhaling, heeseung didn’t hesitate. his lips crashed against yours, his tongue sliding past your lips in a kiss that was hungry, overwhelming. a low, sensual groan escaped you, the heat of the moment making your body buzz, his mouth moving against yours with a fiery intensity.

his hands gripped your waist, pulling you closer, his body pressing into yours. but after what felt like both too long and not nearly long enough, he pulled away, his lips hovering close to yours as he caught his breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

you let out a breathless laugh, eyes half-lidded, a lazy smirk playing on your lips. "feels like i’m back in college," you teased, voice rough, dripping with satisfaction.

heeseung wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, his thumb brushing your bottom lip before pulling back. “shit, y/n,” he muttered, breathless. “you’re making this so fucking hard.”

the tension in the room spiked as the others watched, eyes glued to the aftermath of the kiss. everything had shifted—the air heavier, pulses quickening.

jake shifted in his seat, swallowing hard, a raw edge to his voice. "fuck... i’m jealous," he muttered with a grin, though it didn’t hide the need in his gaze. "you always go that hard?"

jay leaned forward, shaking his head, still clearly amused. "that was fucking hot."

sunghoon, his eyes dark and locked on you, clenched his jaw and let out a low laugh. "heeseung’s got some balls. damn."

jungwon, who had been quiet the whole time, finally spoke, his gaze still fixed on you, voice low. "that was… something," he muttered, eyes half-lidded, filled with curiosity and intrigue.

you smirked, glancing at sunghoon, voice laced with a teasing challenge. "you’re not mad, sunghoon? i mean, you’ve always had that possessive streak."

his jaw tightened, eyes narrowing as a low chuckle escaped him. there was nothing playful in it. "mad?" he repeated, his voice rough, gaze intense. "nah, y/n... not mad. but you’re definitely pushing it." his eyes flicked down to your lips, still swollen from heeseung’s kiss. "you know exactly what you’re doing."

heeseung leaned back, clearly pleased with himself, enjoying the tension. "what can i say? she’s hard to resist."

sunghoon didn’t break eye contact, his smirk turning wicked. “resisting’s not the problem, heeseung.” his voice dropped, almost a growl. “i just don’t like to share. and you—" his eyes raked over your body—“you’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”

jake chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “possessive doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

jay raised an eyebrow at sunghoon, smirking. “jealousy’s not a good look on you, man.”

sunghoon shot a glance at jay before focusing back on you, his voice dropping. “you enjoy getting a rise out of me, don’t you, y/n?”

your smirk grew as the heat in his voice made your skin prickle. "maybe," you murmured, tilting your head. "or maybe i like seeing how far i can push you."

sunghoon’s eyes darkened further, his voice low and dangerous. "try me one more time, and i’ll fuck you right here in front of everyone."

the room went dead silent, the intensity of his words hitting you like a wave. the boldness of his threat—or promise—made the air in the room feel heavier, the tension suffocating.

heeseung raised an eyebrow, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. "well, shit. things just got serious."

jake let out a low whistle, leaning forward. "not sure if that’s a threat or a promise."

jay, his tone laced with amusement, chimed in, "honestly, I’m not into sharing either. but the weed?" he chuckled, his eyes flicking between you and sunghoon. "it’s making me reconsider."

all eyes shifted to jay, the tension only thickening as he leaned back, crossing his arms with a growing smirk. “maybe just this once... i’d be willing to let it slide.”

heeseung chuckled darkly. "seems like we’re all reconsidering a lot right now."

jake grinned. "the weed’s making everything seem like a good idea."

sunghoon, jaw still tight, shot a glance at jay, but the playful tension between them was undeniable. "you’re lucky you’re even part of this conversation."

you felt the shift in the room, heart pounding as you caught the exchange. the energy was only growing, and none of them seemed willing to back down.

“so, jay,” you teased, eyes locking on his, “you’re saying you’d share if it came down to it?”

jay leaned forward, his eyes meeting yours, a slow smile spreading across his face. “yeah,” he said, voice low, deliberate. “but only because i think you’d be worth it.”

your breath hitched, the heat inside you building as the high took hold. “if it wasn’t for this wait,” you breathed, the words slipping out, “i’d already be knocking on your doors... though not without putting up a fight.”

their eyes darkened at your confession, the room buzzing with unspoken desire.

jungwon, trying to play it cool, took another puff from the vaporizer and immediately choked, coughing hard as the smoke hit him wrong. the sudden noise shattered the tension in the room, all eyes turning to him as he struggled for breath, his face flushing both from the smoke and embarrassment.

“shit,” he muttered between coughs, trying to compose himself, eyes watering as he glanced up at you, shaking his head. "fuck, that was... rough."

everyone burst into laughter, the momentarily serious atmosphere lightening just for a second.

"you good, won?" jake asked, grinning as he slapped jungwon’s back.

jay shook his head, still chuckling. "man, you really don’t know how to smoke, do you?"

jungwon shot them a glare, still coughing, but a sheepish smile pulled at his lips. "shut up," he grumbled, rubbing his chest as the smoke finally cleared.

you couldn’t help but laugh, the high making it all feel even more amusing. "you alright, jungwon?" you teased, watching him recover.

jungwon finally caught his breath, cheeks still flushed as he met your gaze. “yeah, yeah,” he muttered, still a bit winded. “just... wasn’t expecting it to hit that hard.”

heeseung smirked, leaning back in his chair. “looks like even the doctor’s not immune to getting messed up.”

sunghoon chuckled, shaking his head. “it’s always the quiet ones who end up the most fucked.”

the laughter faded, but the weight of their gazes didn’t. their eyes followed the rise and fall of your chest, the sheen of sweat on your skin, and the slight shift of your legs as you tried to get comfortable. it was like they were all waiting, their patience thinning by the second.

you could feel their stares burning into you, the intensity of it making your skin tingle. each glance felt heavier, more deliberate, and your pulse quickened under the heat of it.

exposed as you were, the sensation was electric, the mix of weed and desire making everything feel heightened, sharper. the room felt like it was spinning, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from them either.

heeseung, who had been the most composed, broke the silence, his voice rough and low. “fuck, y/n,” he muttered, his eyes darkening as they trailed the movement of your legs. “you look incredible like this.”

sunghoon's gaze was sharp, tracking the sheen of sweat on your skin, the rise and fall of your chest with each shallow breath. “we’re all trying to hold it together,” he growled, voice thick with restraint. “but you? you’re not even trying. it’s like you’re begging to get fucked.”

jay, lounging back with his eyes glued to you, let out a low chuckle. “yeah, why don’t you just spread those legs for me, honey? no harm in giving it a shot, right?”

jake swallowed hard, his eyes burning into you, voice strained with frustration. “this... it’s fucking torture.”

jungwon, having finally regained his composure after his earlier coughing fit, stayed quiet, but his eyes roamed over your body. despite his silence, the tension in his posture made it clear just how much he was struggling.

the silence that followed was suffocating, heavy with need. you could feel their eyes on you, feel the way their breathing deepened, slowed. they were getting hard, and none of them bothered to hide it anymore.

heeseung’s gaze darkened, his chest rising and falling faster, desire burning in his eyes. his lips parted, and you saw his hand shift in his lap, trying to find some relief without being too obvious.

sunghoon, once composed, now clenched his jaw, eyes locked on you like a predator ready to pounce. his fists tightened, muscles flexing as he struggled to keep control.

jay’s smirk faded, replaced by raw hunger. he leaned forward slightly, eyes trailing down your body. “fuck, y/n... stop looking at us like that,” he muttered, voice thick with barely restrained lust.

jake, who had been leaning back, was now sitting up, legs spread, his breathing heavier. “i’m... done hiding it,” he admitted, voice raw, frustration laced in every word.

jungwon, quieter than the rest, couldn’t tear his eyes from you. the flush spreading across his face and the way his hands flexed at his sides said everything. he was barely holding it together.

the weight of their desire pressed down on you, thick in the air. every lingering look, every breath they took, felt like a pressure building between all of you. your heart raced, heat pooling low in your belly, the tension almost unbearable.

“it’s not like we can’t do something, right?” you teased, voice low and filled with anticipation. your eyes flicked between them, watching their expressions shift as your words sank in. with a wicked smile, you let the next part slip, “just... don’t cum inside.”

heeseung groaned, deep and guttural, his grip tightening on the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles turned white. “fuck,” he muttered, breath hitching. “you really don’t know what you’re asking for, y/n.”

jay’s eyes darkened, jaw tense as hunger overtook his gaze. “you’re terrible,” he growled, voice shaking with raw need.

jake groaned, nearly doubling over as his hand dragged across his face. “shit... don’t say that,” he muttered, voice hoarse with desperation, his body visibly tense as he stared at you, gaze burning with want.

sunghoon’s fists clenched, breath coming in uneven bursts. “you really want it, don’t you,” he growled, voice low, rough, his eyes fixed on you, every move you made driving him closer to breaking.

and then there was jungwon. quiet, soft, but somehow the most intense. his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a desperation that sent a shiver down your spine. “can you show us your pussy?”

his words hung in the air, freezing everything for a second. the raw hunger in his voice shattered the last bit of restraint in the room.

heeseung’s breath hitched, shifting in his seat, eyes glued to you with frustration and need. “fuck, jungwon,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, clearly on the edge.

jay leaned forward, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, voice rough with need. “we’re all fucking done for.”

their eyes stayed locked on you, waiting. the tension suffocated, every breath thick with anticipation. your heart raced, heat building inside you as you reached for the vaporizer. taking a slow hit, you held it in, teasing them with every second before exhaling, the smoke lingering between their stares and your slow, deliberate movements.

you leaned back, spreading your legs, slow and deliberate. the sight of you, open and ready, had them all teetering on the brink. the air felt electric, like it was going to snap at any moment.

“jungwon,” you murmured, voice low, teasing, “you’ve already got all these plants. probably made something to drug me, right? so is something to stop pregnancy really that impossible?”

your fingers toyed with the waistband of your panties before sliding them aside, revealing how wet you were. their eyes darkened instantly, locked on the slickness between your legs.

jungwon’s eyes flicked to yours, the realization hitting him hard. without a word, he stood up, his movements clumsy from the high but filled with purpose. stumbling slightly, he caught himself, already moving toward his workstation. the idea you planted was too tempting to resist.

the room went silent, all eyes on jungwon as he started pulling out plants and supplies with a renewed intensity. heeseung raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “shit, she’s really got him thinking.”

jake leaned back, crossing his arms, shaking his head. “leave it to y/n to get jungwon of all people worked up like this. he’s high as fuck, but he’s still about to whip up some shit.”

sunghoon narrowed his eyes, clearly intrigued by the sudden change. “what are you cooking up, jungwon?”

jungwon ignored them, his hands moving with precision as he mixed different plants, despite the haze clouding his mind. “if the alkaloid levels are stable… should interact well with the pseudo-estrogens from the herb…” he muttered under his breath, eyes narrowed in concentration. "can’t have the phyto-progestins canceling out the contraceptive properties..."

you watched him, your heart racing at the realization of what you’d set into motion. “jungwon, are you really—”

he shot you a look, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips, hunger burning in his eyes. “you gave me an idea, and now i can’t stop thinking about it.”

heeseung’s voice dropped, “so?”

sunghoon growled in frustration, his patience wearing thin as he took another deep drag from the vaporizer, his body rigid.

“can you fucking make it or not?” he snapped, glaring at jungwon, who was still meticulously checking his data, mumbling shit only he understands and adjusting his tools, as if the urgency in sunghoon’s voice was nothing but background noise.

jungwon, annoyingly calm, ignored the outburst, his fingers tapping away at his device, double-checking every detail. the deliberate slowness was starting to grate on sunghoon’s nerves, his agitation growing with every passing second.

“jungwon,” sunghoon growled again, louder this time, his voice sharp with irritation, “quit fucking around.”

jungwon finally looked up, raising an eyebrow at sunghoon’s growing frustration. taking his time, he wiped his hands on his pants, the calm smirk never leaving his face despite the tension in his eyes.

“yeah,” he said coolly, letting the moment hang in the air for a beat longer than necessary. “you guys can start.”

the room exploded into motion. sunghoon reached you first, his grip on your ankle firm and commanding, sending a jolt through your body. with one strong tug, he pulled you onto his lap, your legs straddling him, your body pressed flush against his. the sudden intensity made your head spin, his touch overwhelming.

before you could catch your breath, sunghoon’s hands gripped your hips, pulling you closer as his lips hovered inches from your neck. “you wanted this, didn’t you?” he growled, voice rough and thick with the hunger he had barely been holding back.

the sudden friction of sunghoon's clothed, rock-hard member rubbing against your soaked panties made your breath hitch. the heat between your bodies was unbearable, and the thin fabric only heightened the sensation. every inch of him pressed hard against you, his grip on your hips tightening as he ground into you with a low growl.

“fuck, you weren’t ready for that, huh?” sunghoon’s voice was rough, his breath hot against your neck as his hips moved in slow, deliberate thrusts, the friction sparking pleasure through you.

a moan escaped your lips, your body trembling as the sensation hit you, your hands instinctively grabbing his shoulders for support. sunghoon’s desperation was clear in the way he held you down, grinding into you with an intensity that left you breathless.

as your body rocked against sunghoon’s, the desperation in the room thickened even more. heeseung’s warm breath trailed up your neck, his tongue drawing slow, deliberate strokes along your skin, sending shivers through you.

the heat from both of their bodies radiated against you, with jake stepping in next, his hands sliding under your shirt, pushing it up and exposing your skin.

jake groaned low in his throat, his mouth closing over your nipple, sucking hard while his other hand kneaded your breast like he couldn’t get enough. his tongue swirled around your nipple, his breath ragged as he whimpered against you, each lick and tug driving you closer to the edge.

heeseung chuckled darkly against your ear, lips brushing just below your jaw. “she likes it when we’re all over her like this,” he teased, his fingers pressing into your waist, keeping you anchored between them.

jay, now half-naked, his eyes dark with lust, growled low in his throat as he kicked off his pants, his hand wrapping around his thick cock, stroking it slowly as he watched the chaos unfold. his gaze locked onto you like he was waiting for his turn, lips parted as he breathed heavily.

“don’t keep her all to yourselves,” jay muttered, his voice gravelly as he stepped closer, his hand tightening around his cock, eyes fixed on you like a predator.

he crouched down next to you, the heat of his body radiating against your skin. he gripped your chin firmly, tilting your face toward him, his voice thick with need. “open up for me, sweetheart,” he growled, the tip of his cock brushing against your lips.

with sunghoon grinding relentlessly into you and jake’s mouth on your chest, your body was on fire. your lips parted instinctively, and jay wasted no time, pressing the head of his cock onto your tongue.

“that’s it,” jay murmured, his voice low and commanding as he slid deeper into your mouth, his hand tangled in your hair to keep you in place. the weight of him filled your mouth, the stretch in your jaw immediate as you moaned around him, the sound vibrating through him.

heeseung’s raspy voice came from behind you, his hands roaming down your waist, tugging at the waistband of your panties. “fuck, look at her take it,” he chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest as his fingers slipped between your thighs, brushing against your soaked entrance.

sunghoon growled in frustration, his grip tightening on your hips. “don’t just tease her, heeseung. get her ready for my cock.” he ground against you harder, making you whimper around jay’s cock, the heat between your legs becoming unbearable.

“you heard him,” jay muttered, his hand guiding your head as he thrust into your mouth. “get her dripping for us.”

heeseung didn’t waste any time, his fingers slipping under the soaked fabric of your panties, brushing over your sensitive folds. he hissed softly, biting his lip as he felt just how wet you already were.

“damn, you’re ready for us,” he muttered, his voice thick with satisfaction as his fingers slid up and down your slick heat, teasing you, spreading the wetness with each slow stroke. every touch sent jolts of electricity through your body, making you clench around nothing.

sunghoon’s grip on your hips was bruising now, his frustration evident as he tried to hold back, shimmying out of his pants and positioning himself right at your entrance.

he let out a strained whine as the tip of his cock nudged your hot, dripping pussy, the heat from your body scorching. pre-cum was already leaking from him, but he wasn’t about to give in so easily—he wanted to hear you beg for it.

you were on the verge of losing it, overwhelmed by the sensation of jay’s cock sliding in and out of your mouth, sunghoon’s hard length grinding against you, and heeseung’s fingers working their magic on your dripping core.

your moans vibrated around jay’s cock, sending shivers through his body. his head tipped back slightly, jaw tight as he thrust deeper into your mouth, the slick sound of him fucking you filling the room.

jake, still sucking and licking at your chest, pulled back just long enough to glance down at the mess between your legs. “heeseung, move over,” he ordered, his voice low, commanding in a way that surprised you with its authority. “i’m gonna taste her.”

sunghoon reluctantly backed away, giving jake room as he pumped himself, his jaw slack as he stared at you. his eyes roamed over your body, the glistening heat between your thighs, the way your mouth wrapped around jay. “fuck, you’re perfect,” he breathed, voice rough with need.

jake wasted no time, lowering his head between your legs, his breath hot against your soaked folds as he took his first taste. the moment his tongue met your skin, your back arched, a sharp cry escaping around jay’s cock as the intensity hit you all at once.

your body was losing all control, shaking uncontrollably as jake’s tongue worked you into a frenzy. he sucked harder, lips wet and relentless, saliva mixing with your slick juices as heeseung's fingers curled expertly inside you, hitting that perfect spot again and again. the moans you tried to suppress around jay’s cock were still loud enough to drive them wild.

each jerk of your body was involuntary, the pleasure so overwhelming that it was impossible to stay still. jake’s grip tightened on your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, his tongue flicking and sucking in a rhythm that had you teetering on the edge.

every stroke of his tongue was more intense than the last, and your hips bucked against his face as he pushed you higher and higher.

heeseung chuckled low in your ear. “fuck, she’s dripping all over my fingers,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust.

“jake’s eating you out so good, isn’t he? you fucking love it, don’t you? love it when he fucks you with his tongue?” his breath was hot against your skin as his fingers twisted deeper inside you, curling just right, making you tremble uncontrollably. “just let go, baby. come all over jake. we’ve got you.”

jay’s grip in your hair tightened as he thrust deeper into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat. “fuck, yeah… just like that. you’re gonna make me come, shit,” he groaned, his pace quickening, his hips slamming forward.

your spit dripped down your chin, mixing with the sweat covering your skin, the heat of the moment building to an unbearable level.

the sensations were too much—jake’s tongue on your clit, heeseung’s fingers inside you, jay’s cock filling your mouth—your mind was spinning, body on fire, the pleasure crashing over you in waves so intense you thought you might shatter.

your moans vibrated around jay’s cock, and you felt him twitch in your mouth, so close to release.

“fuck, give it to me, cum all over my mouth,” jake growled, his tongue circling your clit faster, sucking harder as his fingers dug into your thighs, pulling you impossibly closer. he didn’t stop, didn’t slow down, even as your body began to convulse, your release imminent. you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, as the pleasure hit you like a tidal wave.

and then it hit you—your climax tearing through you with such force that your vision blurred, your body shaking uncontrollably as the pleasure overtook you.

you squirted hard, soaking jake, who groaned with satisfaction, eagerly lapping at the juices spraying from you. your walls clenched tight around heeseung’s fingers, hips bucking uncontrollably against jake's mouth.

the moans that escaped your throat were muffled by jay’s cock as he let out a deep groan, thrusting one final time into your mouth before spilling a thick, overwhelming load down your throat, making you choke. you swallowed, but the struggle was clear, tears streaming down your face as you gasped for air.

that sight—your tear-streaked face, struggling to breathe—ignited something primal in sunghoon. pure possessiveness blazed in his eyes, and suddenly, he was on you. his aggression startled everyone as he shoved jake and heeseung aside, eyes locked on you, filled with a mix of rage and desire.

the impact of your back hitting the floor knocked the breath out of you, the pain only fueling the heat coursing through your body. a low moan slipped from your lips, making the corner of sunghoon's mouth twitch in satisfaction.

he towered over you, his hand gripping his cock as he slapped it against your soaked pussy, the slick sound cutting through the heavy air. “fuck,” he growled, his voice thick with lust. his eyes, dark and wild, locked onto yours as he hovered closer.

"shit, y/n… tell me you want it," he demanded, his voice a low, dangerous growl. "beg for my cock, or you’re not getting it."

his words sent a shiver straight down your spine, the dominance in his voice making your core clench with need. sunghoon’s hands gripped your thighs hard, spreading you wide as his cock teased your entrance, never giving you what you were so desperately aching for.

the tension rolled off him in waves, every muscle in his body coiled tight as he waited—needing to hear you beg.

your breath came out shaky, your body trembling beneath him, utterly at his mercy. “please… please, sunghoon,” you whimpered, your voice barely more than a whisper, but it was enough to push him closer to losing control.

“louder,” he growled, his cock slapping against your soaked pussy again, the contact sending sharp jolts of pleasure through your body. "beg for it like you fucking mean it, y/n."

“fuck, sunghoon, please… i need your cock, i need you inside me,” you cried out, your desperation clear, your back arching toward him as your body begged for more.

"try harder," he snarled, his words making your need even more urgent. without thinking, you hooked your arms around his neck, pulling him into a messy, heated kiss, your lips crashing against his as you mumbled desperate pleas between each kiss.

you couldn’t stop the whimpers that escaped, each one sounding more needy than the last as your tongue tangled with his, his growl vibrating through your body.

“fuck, y/n,” sunghoon rasped against your lips, the taste of your desperation driving him wild. you could feel him trembling as he finally let go of whatever restraint he had left, his cock pushing into your needy hole.

his control vanished in an instant as he thrust into you without any mercy, his cock burying itself so deep that it ripped a sharp gasp from your throat. the stretch was sudden, raw, and perfect. your body trembled, overwhelmed by the intensity, as sunghoon’s grip on your thighs tightened, his fingers digging into your skin while he pounded into you with a brutal, relentless rhythm.

“fuck, your pussy’s squeezing me so tight—shit,” sunghoon whined, his voice rough with need. each thrust came harder than the last, your slick walls pulling him in, wet and hot. it felt like heaven, and sunghoon was completely lost in it, knowing that every second of this was worth it.

“so fucking eager to be fucked, huh? such a slut for cock,” he growled, his hips slamming into yours with every word, each stroke harder, more punishing than the last, making your body rock beneath him as the pleasure and pain intertwined.

“told you i was gonna fuck this pretty pussy first,” he grunted, his hips snapping into yours with a ferocity that left you breathless, unable to do anything but take it.

“this is what you wanted, isn’t it? wanted me to ruin you.” his voice was dark, filled with satisfaction as his eyes bore into yours, the twisted pleasure on his face only fueling the fire inside you as he watched you fall apart beneath him, your moans spilling out uncontrollably, pushing him to fuck you even harder.

he leans down, lips brushing your ear as he growls, “say it—say you're mine. this pussy is mine. gonna let me fuck you whenever i want, huh?” his hand wraps around your throat, not too tight, but firm enough to make your breath hitch.

his other hand grips your hips, pulling you harder onto his cock with each brutal thrust. “you’ll just take whatever i give you, won’t you?”

your body trembles beneath him, his cock slamming deep inside you, hitting spots that made you see stars. “yes," you gasp out between moans,

"fuck, hoon... you're fucking me so good—god, you’re so good,” you cry out, barely able to form the words, overwhelmed by the sensation. your hands claw at his back, desperate for something to hold onto as he wrecks you, his pace merciless.

“shit, listen to you, moaning like a—” he growls, cutting himself off with a hard thrust, his grip tightening around your throat, just enough to make you gasp.

“this is my fucking pussy, got it?” his words send a jolt of arousal through you, your walls clenching tighter around him as he drives into you with reckless abandon.

his cock drags against every inch of your walls, the friction intense, almost too much to bear. the pressure inside you builds fast, unbearably tight.

"fuck, you're close, aren’t you? i can feel you squeezing around me," he hisses, his voice dripping with lust. "swallowing my cock so good... told you i'd fuck you first."

his filthy words push you over the edge, your orgasm ripping through you with blinding intensity. your body seizes beneath him, walls clenching hard around his cock as you scream his name, your mind going blank as the pleasure consumes you.

“that’s it... that’s my girl,” sunghoon groans, his thrusts becoming erratic as he chases his own release, your tight, pulsing walls pushing him to the brink. “gonna fill you up with my cum, fuck—gonna make sure you’re full of it. no one else gets to fuck you like this.”

heeseung kneels beside you, his dark eyes locked on sunghoon for a brief second before they settle on you, hungry, possessive. his lips curl into that signature smirk as he leans in, his face just inches from yours.

before you can catch your breath, he crashes his lips against yours—rough, demanding—cutting off your moans as sunghoon continues to pound into you. his tongue slides against yours, greedy and insistent, before pulling back slightly, just enough to make you whimper at the loss.

"don’t listen to him," heeseung murmurs, his lips barely brushing yours, voice thick and low, like a promise of more. "we’re just getting started, baby. he’s just getting carried away." his words hit you like a shockwave, your body already trembling under sunghoon's relentless thrusts, but your eyes flicker up to meet heeseung’s, drawn to him like a magnet.

your lips part, jaw slack, as your tongue slips out in a silent plea. heeseung's gaze darkens, and he hisses, gripping your chin firmly. "mmh, look at you," he breathes, his lips hovering just above yours, teasing. "such a good girl."

sunghoon's pace is unforgiving, every thrust making your body jerk, your mind spiraling from the overload of sensations, but heeseung’s grip keeps your focus locked on him. he watches you like you’re the only thing that exists, and the control he holds over you makes his smirk deepen.

he leans in, gathering saliva in his mouth before letting it drip slowly down onto your tongue. the moan that escapes you is immediate, uncontrollable, as your body arches, savoring the taste. your eyes roll back, completely lost in the moment.

"fuck, you're filthy," heeseung growls, his thumb brushing over your wet lips. his other hand moves to your neck, fingers lightly tracing the sensitive skin before shoving two fingers into your mouth, making you gag instantly. the obscene sound that comes from you makes both him and sunghoon lose it.

"yeah, keep making those sounds," heeseung seethes, his fingers pushing further down your throat, the guttural, erotic noises you make driving him wild. "you're gonna drive us insane." his fingers press deeper, and you choke, gasping, your body shaking under their control.

sunghoon’s rhythm grows erratic, each thrust harder, more desperate as he watches you gag on heeseung’s fingers. his breath hitches, his body trembling as he slams into you with everything he’s got. the intensity sends your back arching off the floor, every nerve lit up.

jay wastes no time, moving behind sunghoon. his hands grip your hips as he lines himself up, sunghoon now fucking you even deeper. jay’s rough hold keeps you steady, the pressure leaving you breathless as sunghoon drives into you with brutal precision.

sunghoon’s moans turn desperate, guttural, his body on the edge, trembling as he loses himself in the sensation. "shit- what the fuck, you're so good." he groans, his hips snapping against yours, everything about him focused on drawing out every bit of pleasure before he explodes.

and just when you think you’ve hit your limit, jay’s tongue flicks against your ass, teasing, prodding. the sensation rips through you like lightning, and you gag into heeseung’s mouth, unable to stop the filthy, wrecked sounds pouring out of you. heeseung’s fingers tighten on your chin, holding your mouth open, making you choke on the pleasure as he kisses you harder, rougher, more possessive.

"shit, you gonna let jay fuck your ass, baby?" heeseung hisses against your lips, his eyes blazing with lust as he watches you completely unravel beneath them. "gargling on my spit while they fuck every inch of you... you're perfect, aren't you?"

you were a trembling mess, body taken over like a doll for them to use, while jake stood nearby, stroking his cock, eyes glued to the scene in front of him. his hand pumped faster, the slick sound of his own arousal filling the room as he watched sunghoon, jay, and heeseung ruin you.

"y/n, you make me so hard," jake muttered, his voice strained, hand moving quicker. "can't wait to fuck that used-up pussy…"

the moment you gargled around heeseung’s fingers, jay slipped his fingers into your ass, spreading your cheeks wide to give himself better access.

the weed had already relaxed your body anyway, and his fingers moved with ease, stretching you out for what was coming. his groan was low, almost animalistic, feeling how tight you were.

he slapped your ass hard, his voice gruff. "been wanting to stretch this ass wide open. fuck, you can take both of us, right? yeah, you fucking will."

without warning, jay yanked his fingers out and lined himself up, thrusting inside you in one swift motion. your body jolted at the sudden fullness, gasping as your ass clenched around his thick cock. the stretch was intense, so overwhelming tears welled up in your eyes. you tried to shake your head, but heeseung’s grip held you in place, forcing you to take it.

heeseung's fingers slid out of your mouth just as you gasped, your throat raw from the obscene sounds you couldn’t stop making. "oh fuck… jay… shit!" you cried out, voice trembling, body barely able to handle the intensity.

jay moaned loud, hips rolling deeper into you, feeling you clench around him. "shit, it's like you wanna rip my dick off," he growled, hands digging into your hips hard enough to bruise. "fuck, you guys gotta try her ass."

the room was filled with moans, the wet slap of skin on skin, heavy breathing surrounding you. sunghoon never stopped, still pounding into your pussy while jay was deep in your ass. you were stretched so full, every nerve lit up, your body struggling to keep up with the pleasure.

jay and sunghoon moaned together, their voices blending as they fucked you, their cocks rubbing against each other through the thin wall inside you. it was driving you crazy, overwhelming you, pressure building so fast it felt like you were going to burst. you gasped, breath shaky, tears spilling over as you choked out the words, "oh god, hee… please… fuck my mouth."

heeseung sneered, gripping your jaw roughly, forcing your mouth open wider. your tongue hung out, drooling, and the sight of you—wrecked, desperate—made them all groan.

"greedy little slut," heeseung hissed, slapping his cock against your tongue, smearing your spit all over. "you’d let us stuff every fucking hole, wouldn’t you?"

you couldn’t respond, only whimpering, mind fogged with pleasure as tears of frustration ran down your face. jay’s hips snapped harder into your ass, his cock stretching you so much your eyes rolled back. "fuck her mouth, give it to her," jay groaned, his grip bruising as he fucked you like he owned you.

sunghoon wasn’t gentle either, his thrusts deep, punishing. "you love this, don’t you?" he growled, voice thick with lust as he drove into you. "being stuffed like the filthy whore you are? fuck, you’re made for this."

you whined around heeseung’s cock, mouth stretched wide as he shoved himself down your throat without a shred of mercy. he laughed darkly, watching you struggle, gagging on him. "slut," he spat, "just a toy for us to fuck. that’s all you are."

sunghoon’s thrusts became erratic, his grip on your waist tightening as he groaned through clenched teeth. with a final, brutal slam, he moaned loudly, pumping his load deep inside you. the hot cum spilled from your pussy, dripping down to slick jay’s cock as he continued fucking your ass.

sunghoon collapsed to the side, his body spent, but jay never stopped, thrusting relentlessly into your dripping cunt. he yanked you by your weak arms and pulled you to his chest, his cock still driving into you without pause, your tits bouncing in his face as he groaned in your ear, the mess between your legs only adding to the filthy sensation. your body was a mess of pleasure, full and dripping, as jay made sure to keep you stuffed, switching between holes with no hesitation.

jay pulled you into a sloppy, messy kiss, lips crashing against yours, tongue forcing its way in as both of you moaned into each other. the room was filled with the obscene, wet sounds of bodies moving together, relentless, as jay continued fucking you without pause.

"fuck, you're so full of his cum," jay groaned, his hands digging into your hips, pushing you down harder on his cock, the stretch making you cry out.

he spread your ass wider, lips brushing your ear as he hissed, “come on, hee... fuck her ass. she's already stretched, she can take it.”

heeseung wasted no time, moving behind you as sunghoon laid on the floor, spent and panting. his hands gripped your hips hard, cock teasing your ass, still slick from jay. without hesitation, he pushed the tip inside, groaning at the tightness as he worked deeper. “mmh, you're still tight after jay stretched you out,” he growled, voice thick with lust. “you're gonna take every inch of me, aren't you?”

heeseung started fucking your ass with hard, deliberate thrusts, and jake stepped in front of you, his fingers roughly tangling in your hair. he yanked your head back, breaking your kiss with jay, forcing you to look at him, annoyance clear in his eyes. “don't ignore me,” jake snapped, tone low and teasing. “use that mouth, or do i need to fuck your throat to get your attention?”

he tugged harder, guiding your mouth to his cock. “suck,” he ordered, his other hand stroking himself slowly, teasing the tip against your lips. “you're gonna suck me off while they fuck you full.”

your body trembled, struggling to keep up. heeseung pounded your ass, jay still buried deep in your pussy, leaving you breathless. you parted your lips, taking jake’s cock into your mouth as he gripped your hair tighter, pushing deeper. “that’s it,” jake groaned, his hips starting to move. “fuck, my cock tastes good, doesn’t it? been dreaming of fucking your mouth—shit.”

they didn’t let you catch a breath. every gasp, every muffled cry was swallowed by the pace they set, fucking you from every angle. jake’s cock stretched your throat, obscene sounds escaping as heeseung brutalized your ass, and jay fucked your pussy with every snap of his hips, their hands gripping you like they owned you.

jake’s head fell back, a guttural moan escaping his lips. “fuck, your throat’s just as good as your pussy,” he groaned, voice rough.

jake chuckled darkly, tightening his grip on your hair as he thrust deeper into your mouth. “look at you,” he rasped, watching the tears stream down your face as you gagged. “you look like you’re gonna pass out baby, but no chance. i'm not done with you.” he snapped his hips, making you choke, not caring as your throat tightened around him.

heeseung was relentless, fucking your ass with a brutal pace, hands digging into your hips, bruising them. “we're gonna ruin you for anyone else,” he growled, breath ragged. “no one else is ever gonna fuck you like this.”

your body convulsed, another orgasm tearing through you, muscles trembling as you shrieked around jake’s cock. tears streamed down your face, eyes rolling back as the euphoria hit. it felt like your body might break, the pleasure so intense that for a brief moment, you didn’t care if it did.

jay’s hands tightened on your breasts, squeezing hard as his thrusts grew erratic, desperate. “fuck, fuck, fuck!” he screamed, slamming into you one last time, spilling himself deep inside.

his hot release filled you, and his grip on your chest never eased as the aftershocks hit. “fucking take it,” jay growled, slapping your tit hard enough to make you gasp.

as he finally pulled out, panting heavily, thick cum dripped from your pussy, pooling beneath you. your body, completely used, trembled from the lingering sensations, and your mind flickered to jungwon’s concoction, hoping it could handle how filled you were. but you knew there’d be no rest—no, they wouldn’t allow it yet.

as jay shuffled away, completely spent, jake pulled out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air, your jaw sore, but it wasn’t over. not even close. heeseung pulled you up against his chest, his cock still deep in your ass, your back arching as he adjusted his grip.

his arms wrapped around your trembling, sweat-slick body, holding you tightly against him, your back pressed to his chest. the shift made your tits bounce, your entire body shaking with every breath as heeseung’s lips found your neck, sucking hard, intent on leaving his mark. deep, dark hickeys bloomed on your skin—reminders of his claim.

each time heeseung thrust into you, it felt like he went even deeper, hitting that spot inside that had your vision blurring, moans spilling from your lips uncontrollably. you knew you wouldn’t have a voice left after this. his teeth scraped along your neck, leaving sharp stings followed by the heat of his mouth as he groaned against you.

"baby, you’re wrecking my cock," he growled, voice rough with lust, hips driving into you with brutal precision. "like that? bouncing like a fucking toy, taking all of it."

your body jerked with every thrust, tits bouncing, sweat and cum covering your skin as his grip tightened around you, locking you in place, making sure you felt every inch of him inside, the way he destroyed your ass with every stroke.

heeseung groaned, the sound heavy with need, slamming into you harder. "i’m not stopping until you’re completely fucking ruined."

your knees ached from the hard surface beneath you, your body struggling to stay upright with the relentless pounding. you were overstimulated, mind hazy with exhaustion and pleasure, but jake wasn’t done.

dropping to his knees in front of you, his mouth latched onto your breast, sucking hard enough to make your nipples throb. you cried out, hands gripping his hair, your body shaking, but jake didn’t stop. his mouth trailed down your cum-soaked skin, licking every drop until he reached your pussy.

“fuck, jake, you’re insane,” you moaned, voice breaking as his tongue pressed against your swollen folds. he devoured the mix of cum left behind by sunghoon and jay, his mouth slurping loudly as he cleaned you out. the filth of it sent another wave of pleasure ripping through you, making you shudder.

he was gone—completely lost in eating you out, his moans vibrating against your clit as he licked and sucked with reckless abandon. his hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place as he devoured you, his own cock throbbing against the floor, neglected but hard. he hadn’t even fucked you yet, but he was already a mess, moaning and trembling as he tasted you.

"your pussy tastes so good, look at all that..." jake groaned, his voice muffled as he buried his face deeper, his tongue swirling around your clit before dipping back inside, trying to get every last drop. his desperation was clear, his moans louder, pre-cum was dripping from his cock, smearing against the floor as he rutted slightly, completely lost in you.

he didn’t even register what he was doing when he slid his tongue lower, chasing every inch of you, savoring how soaked you were. your scent, the taste of your cum, the slick warmth—he was drunk on it.

and when his tongue accidentally brushed against heeseung’s balls as he pounded into your ass, jake didn’t hesitate. he licked them, making heeseung hiss and shudder.

"fuck, jake," heeseung’s voice was low, half a growl, surprised but not stopping, his thrusts not slowing for a second. normally, shit like this would piss him off, make him snap, but not now. it actually felt fucking amazing.

"sorry, shit," jake mumbled, barely pulling away from your pussy, his breath hot against your skin. but he didn’t stop, didn’t even slow down, too caught up in everything—your taste, heeseung’s reaction, the way you were trembling beneath him. everything.

"don’t… fuckin’ stop," heeseung groaned, voice rough, almost a growl, his thrusts hitting deeper, harder, his grip tightening around your waist as jake's mouth teased both of you again.

he wasn’t just fucking you now—he was commanding the moment, taking control. his fingers dug into your skin, keeping you pressed against his chest, as he forced jake closer.

and so he did—jake didn’t need to be told twice, but this time, he wasn’t holding back. his tongue worked faster, more deliberate, not just for you but for both of you.

as heeseung kept pounding into you, his movements relentless, he shifted his grip—one arm locking you tight to him, the other burying itself in jake’s hair, gripping it hard.

heeseung tugged with a roughness that made jake moan, the sound desperate, his body shaking as he continued, his sobs of pleasure muffled against your soaked pussy.

heeseung yanked jake's head roughly, pushing him deeper, controlling his pace, and the sharp tug sent jolts of pleasure through jake’s body as he obediently worked his tongue faster, a shudder running through him with every sound you made.

this obviously took jay and sunghoon aback, lounging with jungwon as they watched the scene unfold in front of them. even though they were completely spent, bodies still glistening with sweat, neither of them could tear their eyes away.

they didn’t even find it disgusting—no, it was the opposite. it was captivating in a way they couldn’t explain, something raw and primal that kept them glued to the sight of jake sobbing in pleasure as heeseung fucked you relentlessly.

sunghoon leaned back, his chest rising and falling steadily as he watched, a hint of a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "fuckin’ hell, didn’t expect that from him," he muttered, voice still hoarse from earlier. jay, on the other hand, stayed quiet, his eyes locked on the way jake's body shook, almost in awe of how intense everything had gotten.

"need to fuck you now please, can i?" jake growled, pulling away from your pussy only to crash his lips against yours, the taste of cum still lingering on his tongue.

you were completely sandwiched between them now—heeseung fucking you from behind, his cock buried deep in your ass, and jake pushing his way into your pussy. the overwhelming sensation had your walls clenching around jake, both of you letting out a moan that filled the room.

you couldn’t think, your mind clouded with nothing but pleasure. jake kissed you again, forcing the taste of cum into your mouth as he rocked his hips into you. "tastes good, baby?" he mumbled, voice rough against your lips.

"that came from your pussy… fuck, you’re such a cum dumpster. gonna take my cum now? let me fill you up too?" his words slurred, babbling as he thrust into you, his hips moving desperately. "shit… you feel.. so fucking good."

jake's forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot and heavy as your moans mixed, mouths barely breaking apart. your eyes fluttered open, desperate to see his face, to see the wrecked look you knew would be there. but as you glanced to the side, your breath hitched in your throat at what you saw.

jungwon stood across the room, casually leaning against his workstation, his hard-on straining painfully against his pants. his face was unreadable, but you could feel the tension radiating off him, simmering just below the surface.

his eyes were locked on you, watching every movement, every moan, like a predator waiting for the right moment to pounce. you could already imagine the possessive thoughts racing through his head, the silent promise that when it was his turn, there’d be no sharing.

but it wasn’t just his stare that had you frozen—it was the objects in his hands. a vial of green liquid in one, and a soft pink silk restraint in the other. the realization hit you hard, your stomach tightening as your gaze flicked to the vial. jungwon noticed the recognition in your eyes, and his lips curled into a faint, eerie smile, almost psychotic, before disappearing just as quickly. it sent a shiver down your spine.

the vial glinted ominously in his hand, that twisted smile still playing on his lips as he stood there, patient and watching.

before you could fully process the threat that hung in the air, jake grabbed your chin roughly, forcing your eyes back to him. "i’m the one fucking you right now," he growled, his voice sharp, possessive.

"look at me." his lips crashed against yours, biting down hard on your bottom lip, as if punishing you for daring to focus on anyone else. his hips snapped harder into you, the brutal force of it making your body jolt, your pussy clenching around him involuntarily.

"focus on me," jake muttered against your lips, his words slurring as he drove into your overly sensitive pussy. "i’m tired of you looking at everyone else... you wanted me first, didn’t you? this tight little cunt is mine right now. you feel that? feel how fucking deep i am?" his hand slid down to your waist, pulling you harder onto his cock, making you gasp. "don’t even think about him, you hear me?"

his voice was rough, a snarl on the edge of breaking as he babbled, his need for control overwhelming. every thrust was possessive, reminding you that in this moment, jake owned you, and he wanted every inch of you to know it.

"do you want it? want my fucking cum?" he groaned, his pace growing desperate, each snap of his hips more erratic than the last.

"holy shit, she's squeezing me," heeseung panted behind you, his voice tight with strain as your ass clenched around him. he was close, but he wasn’t ready to let go yet.

there was an unspoken agreement between them all—no one would leave your pussy empty when they came. with a growl of determination, heeseung suddenly pulled out, leaving you trembling, whimpering at the sudden emptiness.

what he did next knocked the breath out of you.

"oh no—fuck, heeseung, you’re not serious," you gasped, your voice hoarse from overstimulation and exhaustion. tears welled in your eyes as he lined himself up next to jake’s cock.

and before you could brace yourself, he pushed inside alongside jake, both of them filling you at once. your walls stretched impossibly tight around their cocks, the heat of their bodies overwhelming, their movements rough and synchronized.

"she feels even better like this," jake groaned, his head falling back as the two of them moved together, their cocks rubbing against each other inside you. the stretch was unbearable, the sensation of being split open making your body writhe in overwhelming pleasure and pain, your voice cracking as you gasped for air.

"fuck, you're ripping me," you cried, your body convulsing, caught between pleasure and agony as they took you to your limit. each thrust was deeper, rougher, their hands gripping your body like they owned you completely.

"you can take it," heeseung growled, his fingers digging into your hips, pushing himself deeper. "fuck, yeah." his voice dripped with satisfaction, his eyes rolling back as your pussy clenched around both of them, your body greedily taking every inch. beside him, jake’s thrusts became more frantic, hips jerking as he fucked you with reckless abandon, lost in the overwhelming heat and tightness.

the room was filled with the wet slap of skin, their heavy breathing, and your broken cries as they used you, driving your body to the edge over and over again. they weren’t going to stop until you were completely, utterly ruined.

"mmh, fuck-" jake shudders as he gasped, "i can't—fuck, i think i'm gonna—" jake's words faltered, his body trembling violently as he teetered on the edge, completely overwhelmed. his movements became sloppy, his mind clouded by nothing but lust, barely able to keep pace.

heeseung noticed immediately. his hand shot out, wrapping tightly around jake's throat, choking him hard. "don't fucking stop now, keep fucking her," heeseung commanded, his voice dripping with authority as jake gasped, eyes wide as the pressure cut off his air. instead of pulling away, jake’s body reacted, cock twitching inside you, the choke sending him deeper into a haze of raw, lust-fueled pleasure.

you moaned, voice ragged, as you watched jake gasp for air, heeseung’s grip firm around his throat. the sight alone fueled the fire inside you, every part of you spiraling into filthy ecstasy.

"shit, jake, you like that? heeseung choking you? you slut." you teased, barely able to get the words out between your own desperate moans.

before you could say more, jake’s hand flew up, slapping you sharply across the face—not hard enough to hurt, but enough to send a stinging heat across your skin. your head snapped to the side, the sharp pain blending with the overwhelming pleasure, your walls clenching around them as you cried out, feeling the wetness dripping down your thighs.

his fingers gripped your chin roughly, pulling your face back to his, eyes blazing with an almost feral intensity. "open," jake growled, voice dark and commanding. without hesitation, you opened your mouth, tongue out, trembling as your body rocked between their brutal thrusts, completely at their mercy.

he leaned in closer, breath hot against your lips as his gaze bored into yours. "who’s the slut?"

"wanna say that again?" jake sneered, his grip on your chin tightening, his face inches from yours, daring you to challenge him. the heat of his breath mixed with the raw intensity in his eyes, made your heart pounded in your chest as you struggled to catch your breath.

but you couldn’t resist. a smirk tugged at your lips, defiant even as you quivered between them. "yeah, you're still a slut," you spat out, voice breathless but full of challenge.

jake’s eyes darkened, the tension thick as he held your gaze for a moment, a dangerous smirk spreading across his face. without a word, he grabbed your hair, yanking your head back, exposing your throat to him.

"you’re gonna fucking regret that," he hissed, his free hand sliding down your body, nails digging into your skin as heeseung’s relentless thrusts had you seeing stars.

jake’s grip on your hair was ruthless, pulling your head back to the point where your neck ached, but the pain only heightened the intensity coursing through you.

his words dripped with menace, sending a shiver of excitement straight through your core. you couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips, the sharp pain mixing perfectly with the pleasure as your body responded to both of them in ways you couldn’t control.

"regret it?" you managed to rasp out, voice shaky, taunting. "i fucking doubt it."

heeseung chuckled darkly behind you, his chest pressed against your back as his thrusts grew harder, slamming into you with a brutal force that made it impossible to stay quiet.

"she’s got a mouth on her," heeseung growled, his voice low and rough in your ear, his fingers digging into your hips, making sure you couldn’t move, couldn’t escape from the relentless pleasure he was giving you.

jake’s hand slipped from your chin to your throat, squeezing just enough to make your breath catch. his other hand slid down your body, fingers finding your clit, rubbing it in slow, teasing circles.

the combination of his choking grip and the overwhelming sensation between your legs made your mind go blank for a moment, all coherent thought replaced by the raw heat of ecstasy.

"we’ll see how long that attitude lasts," jake growled, fingers pressing harder on your clit, sending jolts of pleasure that had you twitching, your body betraying you.

you tried to hold back the moans, to keep some semblance of control, but it was useless. between the two of them, you were at their mercy, every nerve ending on fire, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

heeseung’s breath was hot against your ear as he leaned in, voice dark and teasing. "let’s see who’s the slut now."

jake's hand tightened around your throat, cutting off your air just enough to make your pulse race even harder. his eyes were wild, almost crazed as he watched you struggle to hold back the moans that threatened to spill from your lips.

"go ahead," he taunted, his fingers still working your clit mercilessly. "i want to hear you beg for it."

your breath came out in shaky, broken gasps as you fought for control, but the pleasure was too much.

heeseung’s brutal thrusts from behind were relentless, hitting that perfect spot deep inside you with every thrust, driving you closer and closer to the edge. you could feel the heat building in your stomach, spreading through your entire body like wildfire, your legs trembling beneath their assault.

"fuck, she’s close," heeseung grunted, his voice rough, his grip on your hips so tight it was sure to leave bruises. "you feel that, jake? she’s struggling." god, the way they were talking to each other made you moan, it's like

"yeah, se's close," jake growled, loosening his grip on your throat just enough to let you gasp for air before squeezing again, making your head spin. "but i want to hear her say it."

jake’s grip tightened just enough to make your breath falter, his eyes locked on yours, daring you to disobey. "say it," he hissed, his voice low and dangerous. "say you’re a fucking slut."

your body trembled, so close to the edge that every part of you ached, desperate for release. but you bit down on your lip, holding back the words, refusing to give him what he wanted, like the brat you are.

heeseung’s chuckle against your ear was dark, mocking. "stubborn, huh?" his thrusts grew sharper, harder, sending jolts of pleasure through you that made your legs weak. "you’re gonna break sooner or later, baby. might as well just say it."

jake’s fingers worked relentlessly on your clit, teasing you, pushing you further into the haze of pleasure and pain. "we’re not letting you come until you say it," he taunted, his voice thick with lust. "tell us what you are."

tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming sensation of their touch and the relentless pace of heeseung’s thrusts making it harder, you could feel yourself about to explode, every nerve on fire, the knot in your stomach was almost painful.

"come on," jake pressed, his grip on your throat loosening enough to let you catch your breath before squeezing again. "say you’re our slut. say it."

the tears finally spilled over, your body trembling violently between them, unable to hold back anymore. your voice came out broken, shaky, and desperate. "i’m… i’m your slut," you choked out, barely able to get the words past the sobs wracking your body.

"louder," heeseung demanded, his thrusts slamming into you with brutal force, making you cry out. "fucking mean it."

"i’m your slut!" you cried, voice hoarse, tears streaming down your face as you gave in completely, the shame and desire mixing into one overwhelming sensation. "please, i’m your fucking slut—just let me come, please!"

with one harsh grip to your chin, jake forced your jaw open, eyes dark with lust as he spat into your mouth, just like heeseung had done earlier. the warm sensation hit your tongue, and instead of recoiling, a wicked grin tugged at the corners of your lips.

you swallowed it down without hesitation, staring up at him, that filthy smile only growing wider, more dangerous. it drove jake wild, his lip caught between his teeth as he fought back a groan.

it drove jake fucking insane. his lip caught between his teeth as he tried to stifle a groan, but it escaped anyway, raw and guttural. "fuck, hee, did you see that?" he growled, his eyes burning with something darker as he looked over at heeseung. "she fucking loves it. look at that smile—one dick ain’t enough for her."

jake’s fingers tightened around your chin, his dark gaze never leaving yours. "she’s fucking gone," he hissed, voice desperate as his cock plunged in and out of you, the wet sounds of their bodies pounding into you echoing around the room. "she can’t even think anymore."

"gonna fuck your brain into mush," heeseung groaned, without hesitation, his teeth sank into your skin, biting hard, sending sharp waves of pleasure-pain through you. the mixture of sensations—his bite, jake’s relentless thrusting, the overwhelming pressure—had you completely at their mercy, body trembling uncontrollably.

jake was no gentler, his hands rough as they grabbed your tits, squeezing before biting down harshly on one, sucking with a feral need. "shit, shit—you’re sucking me dry," he moaned, words slurred as his movements grew more erratic, nearing his breaking point.

their cocks drove into you in a perfect, punishing rhythm, every thrust slamming deep, pushing you beyond your limits you could feel your walls breaking.

your body shook with overstimulation, every nerve ending on fire as they chased their own release, using you for their pleasure. heeseung’s grip on your hair tightened, his breath hot against your neck, his thrusts becoming harder, more frantic.

"spoiled brat," jake growled, his voice thick with lust as he slammed into you, hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises. "you gonna cum again, huh? you wanna fucking cum? do you even deserve it?"

"jake- yes! please—i’m gonna—oh god, fuck!" you cried out, voice a broken, desperate moan, your body trembled violently, overwhelmed, your mind drowning in the pleasure completely. your climax building impossibly high, threatening to tear you apart.

"oh fuck, baby, you're gonna make me—" heeseung groaned, his voice shaky as he lost control, hips slamming into you with brutal intensity.

jake came first, his body jerking violently against you as his thrusts grew erratic, his release flooding your already overstimulated pussy. his mouth hung open, eyes rolling back, groaning loud as pleasure overtook him.

"fuck—i’m cumming, shit, y/n," he panted, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself into you, the heat of his cum filling you completely.

as jake lost himself, heeseung was right behind. a harsh, guttural sound tore from his throat, raw and animalistic, sending shockwaves through you. his hands gripped your hips with bruising force, your body jerked violently between them.

heeseung’s hand clamped over your mouth just as the loudest, most desperate scream escaped your lips, making your body thrash beneath them. but he held you down, his other hand gripping tightly as both he and jake filled you, their cum mixing and spilling out, hot and thick. the sensation of being so completely used, so utterly claimed, sent your mind spiraling into a haze.

even when they stopped thrusting, both of them still buried deep inside you, your body kept trembling. your eyes remained shut, your chest heaving as small, broken whimpers slipped from your swollen lips. you were wrecked, every nerve buzzing with overstimulation, your mind lost in the pleasure and exhaustion of being used.

jake and heeseung stayed still, panting heavily, their bodies pressed against yours as they soaked in the aftermath. you lay limp between them, your pussy pulsing around their softening cocks, completely spent.

"shit, heeseung, look at her," jake muttered, his voice hoarse, hand trailing down your trembling body. "so pretty." the room was heavy with the scent of sex and sweat, your body quivering as you slowly came down from the high, too exhausted to even open your eyes.

they both carefully pulled out of you, slow and deliberate, but the second they did, thick streaks of cum spilled from your overstretched pussy, dripping down your thighs in a messy display of just how ruined you were. your body collapsed back into heeseung’s lap, legs trembling, trying to catch your breath.

barely conscious, your eyelids fluttered, blinking through the fog of exhaustion. jake, equally drained, toppled over you, pressing his weight down, letting out a satisfied groan. heeseung chuckled, the sound raspy and low, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you both close.

“you two are gonna kill me,” heeseung murmured with amusement, burying his face in your neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and cum. jake snuggled against you, his face nuzzling into your chest, his breathing slowing, completely spent and content.

"fuck, that was insane," jake muttered sleepily, his voice barely a whisper, still pressed against you. heeseung hummed in agreement, his grip tightening around you both.

the three of you lay there, bodies tangled, sticky and sweaty, but none of it mattered.

or maybe it did matter—for jungwon, who had been watching from the sidelines, his brain already plotting, imagining how he would reduce you to a moaning mess next. they already gave quite the show, and his eyes had been glued to you the entire time, impressed at how you’d managed to take almost all of them. but jungwon had more in store for you, much more.

jay, sensing the moment was winding down, had slipped away during the chaos, only to return with pillows and a blanket. his usually cocky demeanor was softened by the care he took in handling them.

"got you these," jay murmured as he carefully slid the pillows under your head, draping the blanket over your exhausted, sweaty body, covering both you and the guys who clearly had no intention of pulling away yet.

his movements were unexpectedly gentle, the usual edge in his demeanor replaced with something softer, more tender. you managed a quiet, breathless "thank you," eyes fluttering shut as a content sigh escaped your lips. he ruffled your hair lightly, the gesture almost foreign coming from him. you looked up at him, half-surprised, and for a moment, you could swear there was a faint blush creeping up his cheeks as he grew sheepish under your gaze.

before you could process it further, sunghoon, who had been quietly watching from the sidelines, knelt beside you. his movements were slow and careful as he wiped you down with a warm cloth, the sensation soothing on your overworked skin. his touch was so light, deliberate, as if he was afraid to overwhelm you after everything you’d been through. "you did amazing," he whispered, his voice calm and reassuring, his fingers brushing delicately over your skin.

but he couldn’t help the subtle roll of his eyes when he glanced over at jake, who had practically buried himself deeper into your chest, looking completely content. "always the clingy one," sunghoon muttered, though there was a soft smirk tugging at his lips as he continued to clean you up, the contrast between jake’s possessive hold and his own quiet attentiveness making the moment feel almost too surreal.

jake, still nestled against you, let out a soft laugh, his arm draped lazily over your waist. "how’re you feeling?" he asked, voice playful, but his eyes betrayed genuine concern as he looked up at you, his face soft and a bit unsure.

"fucked—literally," you mumbled with a small, tired smile. "but in a good way."

heeseung chuckled behind you, his chest pressing against your back as he held you close, his breath steady. “yeah, we didn’t go easy on you, did we?” he teased, placing a soft kiss on the back of your neck. "but you took it like a pro."

sunghoon, still gently wiping you down, smirked at your response. “we’ll go easier next time,” he promised, though the gleam in his eyes made you highly doubt that.

jake, his cheek pressed against your chest, suddenly tensed, his smile faltering. "hey… uh, about what i said earlier," he began, his voice softening, the playful edge gone as he looked up at you.

"i didn’t mean it like… like you’re actually a slut. i just—" he stammered, the flush in his cheeks deepening as he scrambled to explain himself. "you know what i mean, right? like, you’re not literally—"

you couldn’t help but smile at how flustered he was getting, his usual cocky demeanor replaced with a rare moment of awkwardness. "i know, jake," you reassured him, running your fingers through his hair, trying to ease the tension.

"yeah, but you are… i mean, you were… in that moment," jake continued, still stumbling over his words, his face reddening more as he tried to justify himself.

your brow quirked up, amusement dancing in your eyes. "really, jake? now you’re shy? when you’ve been trying to fuck me this whole time?" you teased, running a hand lazily through his hair. "where’s all that cocky energy gone?"

jake groaned, burying his face deeper into your chest, clearly embarrassed. "shut the fuck up," he mumbled, his voice muffled against your skin, his fingers gripping your waist a little tighter.

"it just feels different, alright?" his words came out in a rush, like he was annoyed with himself for even having this conversation.

he shifted again, still holding you close, and you could feel the tension melt away as he relaxed into your embrace. "fuck," he muttered, almost to himself, his voice quieter now.

"i dunno why, but it just… i just really fucking like this." he sounded so out of character, the way he was practically clinging to you, like he couldn’t get close enough.

you smirked, amused by his sudden vulnerability. "so, you’re saying you’re soft now?" you teased, brushing your fingers against his jaw, making him groan again, clearly frustrated.

"shut up," jake repeated, this time more flustered, his face buried against you. "it’s not like that. i just—shit, i don’t know." he sighed, his voice dropping lower, almost vulnerable. "just… don’t fucking move, okay?"

heeseung, hearing all of this, chuckled softly against your ear, his grip still firm around you. "guess the tough guy act’s wearing off," he teased, making jake groan louder, his face buried against your chest, clearly embarrassed but unwilling to let go. you could feel jake’s heart pounding against you, his arms tightening as if he needed the comfort of your warmth.

jungwon, still standing by the counter, had been watching the entire interaction with quiet intensity. there was something heartwarming in his gaze, but it was masked by a slight irritation that he couldn’t shake—he’d been pent up, just like the others, but every single one of them had managed to get their turn with you while he was left waiting. he let out a low hum, his eyes meeting yours for a brief second before he pushed off the counter and approached with slow, deliberate steps.

“don’t worry,” jungwon said, his tone calm but laced with a sharp edge. "i’m not evil enough to fuck you after all that." despite the reassuring words, there was an unmistakable intent in his voice, something that made your pulse quicken even in your exhausted state.

"but first..." his gaze flickered down to the vial he’d been holding this whole time, the faintest of smiles tugging at his lips. "there’s something we need to take care of."

"open," he instructed, his voice commanding, impossible to ignore. despite your body’s exhaustion, your lips parted as he stepped closer, the small green vial gleaming in his hand. before you could protest or question what it was, he tipped the vial to your lips, forcing the bitter liquid into your mouth.

the moment it hit your throat, you gagged, instinctively trying to reject the sharp, acrid taste. but jungwon’s hand was firm, cupping the back of your head as he tilted the vial further, making sure you swallowed every drop.

"you’re not wasting a single bit, unless you wanna have problems guessing who the father is," jungwon murmured, his voice smooth but unyielding as you coughed, struggling to swallow the rest. the bitterness clung to your tongue, your eyes watering from the taste, but jungwon didn’t release you until he was sure you’d swallowed every last drop.

as you gasped for air, wiping at your mouth, jungwon’s gaze stayed locked on yours. "good," he murmured, his thumb brushing over your lower lip to catch a stray drop of the liquid. "you’ll thank me later."

the frustration on his face made you feel guilty, and you frowned, seeing how tense he still was.

"shit, won... sorry i couldn’t—" you started, your voice weak and shaky, but jungwon shushed you softly, his expression softening.

his fingers gently swept your messy hair away from your face, brushing it back with unexpected care. "it’s okay," he murmured, voice calm as his fingers tucked a strand behind your ear. "take a break. you’ve done enough."

then, just as you began to relax, jungwon leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. his tongue slid sensually along your earlobe, sending an unexpected shiver down your spine. his voice, low and dangerous, whispered only for you to hear, "because you’re gonna fucking need it."

the shudder that ran through your body was involuntary, your mind racing at the implications. "i’ll take care of the rest," jungwon added, his thumb brushing over your cheek in a rare show of gentleness. the commanding edge in his voice had faded, replaced by a calm so unnerving it almost felt like a warning.

he wasn’t done with you yet, not even close.

“y’all still smoking?” you asked, your voice hoarse, eyes drifting toward jay and sunghoon. only now did you notice just how high they were, both of them lounging in their own hazy world. it made sense why they’d been so gentle while taking care of you—they were absolutely fried.

their movements were slow and lazy, the drugs in their systems clearly still working through them. but as your gaze shifted to jungwon, it became clear he was just as high, though he tried harder to hide it.

his posture was tense, grip still tight around the pink silk restraint in his hand—he hadn’t let it go once. the sharpness in his eyes was slightly dulled by the haze, like he was trying to stay in control despite the obvious hit he’d taken.

heeseung sighed, gently trying to move jake off you, but the weight of both you and jake had him pinned. he could feel a low jealousy bubbling up, watching jake nestled so peacefully against your chest, completely oblivious to everything else. heeseung muttered, “come on, man,” his legs starting to go numb.

“sorry,” you mumbled, shifting slightly, and immediately, the soreness between your legs made you wince. your pussy throbbed from the earlier overstimulation, and the sticky remnants of their cum clung to your skin, making the discomfort impossible to ignore.

jay, noticing your wince, shot you a lazy grin. “didn’t want to clean you up just yet, considering jungwon still has plans…” his voice was casual, but the implication hung in the air, sending a shiver down your spine.

jungwon stood nearby, taking a long drag from the vaporizer. despite how new he was to it earlier, he seemed way too comfortable now. his brows furrowed slightly, deep in thought, though his eyes flickered toward you with a sharp, unreadable look.

“it’s fine,” jungwon finally said, voice calm but with an edge that sent a shiver down your spine. “i can wait… as long as she can handle what’s coming next.” his lips curled into a tight smile, a contrast to the calmness in his voice, and the anticipation in his words made your heart race.

sunghoon, moving slowly like he was floating, took the vaporizer from jungwon and inhaled deeply. without a word, he walked over to you, his hands gentle as he helped you sit up despite the soreness.

before you could react, he leaned in close, pressing his lips to yours, shotgunning the vapor into your mouth. the warm, calming sensation filled your lungs, and your body immediately began to relax, melting into the moment.

“there we go,” sunghoon murmured softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. your head tilted back as the tension drained from your muscles. “thought it would help.”

you managed to raise an eyebrow, despite the glossy haze in your eyes and the lazy smile spreading across your lips. "what’s gotten into you guys?" you asked, voice soft and teasing, "i swear, i’m not used to this."

"you just gave us the best fucks of our lives," sunghoon replied, his voice low and teasing as he leaned back slightly, watching the lazy smile play on your lips. his eyes held that same mischievous glint, but now, they were filled with something more, something raw and satisfied.

he trailed his fingers gently over your thigh, his touch soft but deliberate. "you didn’t think we’d just let you crash after that without making sure you’re taken care of, did you?"

the vapor worked quickly, easing the aches and discomfort from your body. you felt your mind fog over slightly, the haze blending with the lingering exhaustion.

“water?” heeseung’s voice broke through the haze as he knelt beside you, holding a bottle out. his gaze softened as he unscrewed the cap. “slow sips,” he urged, bringing the bottle to your lips.

you nodded weakly, the cool water sliding down your throat, refreshing and soothing.

“better?” heeseung asked gently, his hand resting on your back, his touch careful.

“i’m really loving this attention, not gonna lie,” you teased, a tired smile pulling at your lips despite the exhaustion weighing on your body.

heeseung chuckled softly, handing you the bottle. “you earned it.”

jay, lounging nearby, gave you a playful wink, while jake, who was sprawled out next to him, laid face down on the one and only sofa in the station, his hands dangling over the edge, completely zonked out.

sunghoon, still close by, smiled at you, leaning in slightly. “you love being spoiled, huh?”

you laughed softly, feeling the tension in your muscles start to ease. “who wouldn’t?” you replied, the warmth of their attention slowly pulling you back from the brink of exhaustion.

then jungwon’s voice cut through the light atmosphere, drawing everyone's attention. “i…” he began, like he wanted to say something but held back, taking another slow drag before exhaling.

“nevermind, rest for now,” he continued, eyes locking onto yours. “the concoction i gave you will work, so don’t worry about getting pregnant. you were smart for thinking ahead about that.”

he paused for a moment, his gaze lingering on you, lips curling into a small smile that hinted at something more. “but you’ve got an appointment with me tomorrow.”

the casual tone of his words did little to mask the seriousness behind them. the others exchanged glances, the atmosphere shifting as curiosity and anticipation filled the room.

“i’ll make sure everything’s taken care of,” jungwon added, taking another drag, eyes never leaving yours. “so just rest… for now.”

“you’re smoking a lot,” you murmured, eyeing the vaporizer in his hand as he took another slow drag. despite his calm demeanor, the bulge straining in his pants told a different story.

jungwon leaned back, exhaling slowly, his eyes flickering over you with a casual intensity. “i have to,” he replied simply, though the tightness in his voice betrayed his calm exterior. his arousal was impossible to ignore, his hard-on evident.

you could feel the tension building again, though it was clear jungwon was holding back—for now.

if only you knew what he had in store for you next.

the peaceful moment was shattered by the sudden crackle of the intercom, piercing through the haze and making everyone jolt in place. the lazy, satisfied calm that had blanketed the room instantly vanished, replaced by the cold slap of reality.

"attention crew, this is HQ,” a stern voice announced, cutting through the tension. “we’ve detected irregularities in the ship’s systems. a team inspection is required immediately.”

you blinked, still dazed, trying to process the situation, your sore body sinking deeper into the blankets. sunghoon, high as fuck, let out an exasperated groan, rubbing a hand over his face as he sat up, his previously calm, gentle demeanor turning sour.

“fuck, can’t believe i have to steer while i’m this baked. they’re gonna get us all killed.” his eyes were still half-lidded, the effects of the vaporizer clearly not having worn off.

jay, equally stoned, gave a lazy grin, though it faltered as the weight of the announcement settled in. “of course this shit happens right now,” he muttered, leaning back and stretching, trying to look more alert than he actually was.

heeseung sighed, shifting carefully to disentangle himself from you and jake, his legs long gone numb from holding both of you. “yeah, well, it was good while it lasted,” he grumbled under his breath, rolling his shoulders as he got up.

"fuck reality," jake muttered, still half-asleep, his face nestled in your chest, clearly unwilling to move. “i was finally getting comfortable.”

“right?” sunghoon groaned, reluctantly pulling himself to his feet with exaggerated slowness. “i swear, if i have to fly this ship while feeling like this, we’re definitely crashing into the moon. and then what? i die high as shit.”

jay snorted, rubbing his eyes. “well, at least you'd go out happy. i have to figure out diagnostics, and i’m still seeing stars.” he dragged a hand through his hair, clearly unenthused about the sudden shift from relaxation to responsibility.

jungwon, still leaning against the wall with the vaporizer in hand, took a slow, deliberate drag, his grip tightening slightly on the pink silk restraint he hadn’t let go of. despite the haze still lingering in his gaze, his sharp intensity remained. “can’t we just pretend we didn’t hear them? five more minutes?” he suggested dryly, a small smirk pulling at his lips.

heeseung rolled his eyes, already slipping back into commander mode despite the lingering effects of the smoke. “nope. get your shit together. sunghoon, you’re at the helm. jay, diagnostics. jake—wake up and run an external scan. jungwon—" he paused, catching jungwon’s focused gaze and the subtle smirk on his face. “you know what to do.”

jungwon exhaled slowly, blowing smoke from his lips as he pushed off the wall. “yeah, yeah. i’ll check the power core,” he said smoothly, though the hint of frustration was clear. his eyes flicked to you, the heat still simmering beneath his calm exterior. he pocketed the restraint, a silent promise that this wasn’t over. “you’ll rest, i’ll make sure everything’s handled.”

jay let out another exaggerated sigh, shaking his head. “of course. i was this close to being fully horizontal again.” he gestured dramatically, the high still evident in his sluggish movements. “and now i gotta go pretend i know how to fix shit.”

sunghoon nodded toward him, snickering. “at least you’re a scientist. i just push buttons and hope for the best.” he stretched out his arms lazily.

you laughed softly, wincing at the soreness but feeling comforted by the banter. “well, if you guys need me... you can call,” you offered, your voice still raspy but sincere. even though your body felt like it had been through the wringer, you didn’t want to leave them to deal with everything alone. “i mean, not that i’ll be much help right now, but...”

heeseung, now fully in command mode, shot you a soft smile as he bent down to brush a few stray strands of hair from your face. “we’ve got it covered,” he reassured you, his voice calm but firm. “you rest, okay? we’ll handle it.”

jungwon, still lingering near the door, shot you a knowing look. “besides, you’ve got bigger things to worry about,” he said with a sly grin, his fingers tapping the pocket where the pink restraint was tucked away.

the teasing glint in his eyes made your heart race, but you couldn’t help the tired smile that crept onto your face.

"i’ll worry about that later," you muttered, your body finally starting to relax as the exhaustion took over. jungwon’s smirk lingered in the back of your mind, but the soft sheets and the warmth of the blanket wrapped around you pulled you deeper into comfort.

as the sounds of the others prepping for the inspection faded, you let your eyes close. despite everything, you felt a sense of calm knowing they had it covered. and as the weight of sleep slowly settled over you, you realized that whatever jungwon had planned... it could wait.

your breathing slowed, your body finally giving in to the much-needed rest, that sly grin of his the last thing etched in your mind before sleep finally took you.

── .✦⸝⸝ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#60: The Cure (1.06)

I love a Richonne + cars moment, a Richonne + candles moment, and, most of all, I love a Richonne + hands moment. Rick and Michonne's hands have their own greatest hits throughout Richonne’s love story so it’s only fitting they get one more moment to shine. And Rick and Michonne's final hand moment is beautiful beyond words. It truly paints the picture of how Richonne's love is the cure 🥹...

 After Richonne eliminates the CRM’s higher-ups - giving the upper echelon a taste of their own medicine by doing to them what they were about to do to countless communities - we get some audible insight into the aftermath.

And apparently, sometimes a lil destruction can bring peace and harmony cuz they sure seemed to solve everything wrong with the CRM and Civic Republic after going scorched earth at the summit.

A broadcast explains that after the explosion, Beale and the CRM higher-ups were exposed for all their nefarious operations and activities. That led to the CRC unanimously voting for an emergency oversight of the CRM’s remaining forces and they began implementing immediate reform to the Civic Republic. 

One of the most pertinent developments is that the CRC unanimously voted to change the rule that no one can leave. They now allow those in the Civic Republic to have free movement which means not only can Rick and Michonne finally go home, but the Civic Republic is even providing a helicopter to transport them there. 🙌🏽

gif cred: @nat111love

There's something emotional to me about hearing citizens are finally free to move at will. Cuz that’s all Rick wanted - the freedom and choice to go home to his family. And for years, because of the CRM’s secrecy and paranoia, they kept him from that. But now, after traversing the darkest valleys and still standing, Rick finally gets to go home, and not through escape but freely. 🥹

As the broadcast shares this development we see Rick and Michonne's helicopter in the sky and inside we get my favorite Richonne hands moment. 🤩

The shot focuses first on Michonne’s hand as she holds the pivotal phone that led her to realize Rick survived the bridge explosion. That phone is special. And I love how, in a way, it incorporates all four remaining Grimes because there’s an image of Michonne and Judith and then Rick and RJ’s name on it.

And of course, there’s also the Japanese writing “believe a little longer” which is always a heartfelt sentiment. It's fitting to see the phrase at this moment, as all of Richonne's belief is about to pay off now that they’re closer than ever to being with their kids.

Also, we can see Michonne is wearing her M bracelet and wedding ring in this sweet shot. I always love seeing the jewelry as a reminder that once Michonne found Rick, her husband adorned her with everything he could. 🥹 Husband of the Year every year, factually. 👏🏽

gif cred: @nat111love

Thank goodness Rick sought out Benjiro to draw his girls during his years away. Rick had to hide so much of himself while trapped with the CRM, but he still was compelled to find a way to connect to his wife and daughter.

And Rick's need to still somehow see Michonne and Judith, even if just through illustrations, allowed him to see them again for real since that phone Michonne found was key to letting her know he was alive out there - and most of all, alive out there missing her as much as she missed him. 🥲

As Michonne holds the phone, I imagine she's likely thinking about just how far they’ve come on this journey. First, it was Rick who had that phone as a means of hope during his darkest and loneliest chapter. And then the phone magnetically found its way to Michonne to give her hope too during a very dark and lonely time.

I remember when Michonne first found this phone on that boat it was such an overwhelming moment for her. She was instantly emotional in that TWD 10.13 ep after finding Rick’s boots and a phone that confirmed that Rick survived the bridge and was still loving and thinking about her and their daughter.

And now, after all the hell they’d been through, she doesn’t just have the phone to hold onto of Rick, she has the great man himself right by her side. 🙌🏽

In holding the phone it’s also clear that Michonne is thinking about the kids they're soon about to see. And you know who's also thinking about their kids right now? Rick. 🥹

As the shot pans from Michonne’s phone-holding hand, we see her other hand with the wedding ring which will always elate me to see. And then we see Rick’s hand shaking. 😭

Ok, my eyes tear up every time I see the way Rick's hand shakes on his knee, clearly illustrating his anxiousness about finally going home and reuniting with Judith and meeting RJ for the first time.

gif cred: @taiturner

It has to all feel quite overwhelming. He already loves his son and daughter so much, and I know he wants to live up to being the father they need and the father they clearly look up to as The Brave Man. And it makes sense he’d be feeling a lot of both excited anticipation and anxiety over such a big moment.

Plus, I think about how hard Rick fought to go home all these years and the physical and mental toll it took on his mind and body as every escape attempt resulted in getting caught. Part of why he only has one hand to tremble right now is because his time away from family pushed him to a breaking point where he was willing to chop off his own hand for just the mere chance of getting back to his wife and daughter.

And now, here he is, his wife by his side, and so close to home. That has to understandably make him overcome with emotion because finally, nothing is stopping him from going home. He’s really gonna make it all the way this time. 🥹

So likely with a million thoughts racing through his head right now, his nerves cause his hand to tremble. But then I adore to the moon and back that Rick no longer has to deal with his anxiety alone because his soulmate is with him and is always always so good at comforting him and bringing him peace.

So without a word being said, Michonne immediately holds Rick’s shaking hand, and sure enough, he calms and stops shaking as he holds her hand. Beautiful. 😭😭😭

gif cred: @nerd4music

This calming handhold moment between Rick and Michonne means so much to me. Especially with how a handhold ushered in Richonne’s canon era in TWD 6.10 and was Richonne’s final physical contact in TWD 9.03.

And now Rick and Michonne can still offer so much love and comfort when they take each other's hands all these years later as well. The greatest husband and wife on television, for real. 🥹

The whole movement of it was perfect. Like again, these actors are so talented that even a quick wordless moment of just their hands has such depth and meaning to it. And the music really adds to the emotion of it all too. 

I love that Michonne first gently places her hand on his, clearly sensing everything he’s feeling. And I adore that it’s with her wedding ring-clad hand. Rick's wife. 😭🙌🏽 Like truly the visual of Michonne taking Rick's hand while wearing the ring he gave her is just what a Richonners' dreams are made of. Both this handhold and the ring being in the shot communicate the many ways Richonne are forever committed to have and to hold one another.

And then I adore that Rick is receptive and immediately takes her hand and allows that to steady him. And his signature calming thumb makes another appearance. 😋 It's just all so good. No matter how anxious he gets, connecting with Michonne can always reach him, calm him, and center him.

gif cred: @lousolversons

Rick is definitely a character that often deals with anxiety, and I love that Michonne is so equipped to recognize it and offer comfort in the exact way he needs.

Michonne Grimes is Rick Grimes' cure, truly. After wrestling so long with what really is the poison or the cure, I love that the miniseries makes it so clear that Richonne's love is the cure that can always heal them.

And just the way he takes her hand, it feels like they’re both offering comfort to each other. Both solidifying to each other that they’re in this together always. So Rick doesn’t have to worry. Because Michonne will be right here with him as they reunite and restore their family. 

Also, Rick doesn’t have to fret about being the perfect dad because his eldest son Carl already gave him the blueprint on how to proceed as a father to Judith & RJ - it’s just to love. And Rick's good kind heart knows exactly how to do that. 🥹

gif cred: @michonnegrimes

And y'all, it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t get sentimental about their overall journey for a sec. So I had to take a moment to really reflect and celebrate the way Richonne's hands helped tell this love story all these years. Because it's really something, imo. 😊

It all started in the masterpiece OG Richonne episode 'Clear' (TWD 3.12), when the shot focuses on Michonne handing Rick a lone bullet, simultaneously showing him she's on his side and calming his antsy energy. There were definitely sparks flying between those two in that scene. Even Carl was looking like 'what's this about?' 🤔

And then, because Rick took it as an unbreakable law when Michonne said 'don't you ever touch me again' in TWD 3.07, Rick and Michonne didn't really touch again until season 5. But when they do, it's super meaningful and makes it clear they've become trusted partners who love each other.

Michonne takes Rick's hand just before they enter ASZ, again offering him a refreshing dose of comfort during a very anxious time for him. And she also is comforted in this car, knowing the man she feels most safe with is going to take this leap of faith with her and for her.

Then at the end of season 5, Michonne touches Rick's hand again, this time to let Rick know she trusts him to make the right decision after he offers to give her his gun. They'd been feeling a bit distant since arriving at ASZ and this top-tier season 5 finale scene brought them back together beautifully.

Rick is eager to give up all his secrets in the hopes of being back aligned with her, and Michonne is eager for Rick to see that she's with him no matter what. And the shot of their hands illustrates that perfectly.

That season 5 finale moment also made it clear that Richonne's canon era was just around the corner, especially because they were slowly but surely touching each other more.

And sure enough 😋...

Season 6 arrives and we get some of Richonne's greatest hand moments of all. 🤩 That low-five in the morning leading up to their first kiss - Perfection. ❤️‍🔥 Rick playfully whipping out those mints as Michonne takes them with a smile, and their mint exchange filmed in a way that parallels their bullet exchange in Clear - Perfection. ❤️‍🔥

And then of course the Richonne + hands moment is when Rick and Michonne first hold hands on that couch. It's the sweet, sensual, and oh-so-significant handhold that ignited Richonne becoming an official couple - Perfection. ❤️‍🔥

Once Rick and Michonne hold hands in TWD 6.10 and let all that love that has been stirring inside pour out, they make it very clear they never want to let go of each other. With a sweet, simple, and super special handhold in an RV even being the only confirmation they need to know that what they have is a forever thing.

It's like Andy said of Richonne: "You kind of hold hands, walk to the edge of the cliff and jump — and continue holding hands."

And they really did continue holding hands. 🥹

The wonderful Richonne + hand moments just ramped up even more as the seasons progressed. And all of it, every single time, was perfection. ❤️‍🔥

Apart from a final hallucination and heartbreaking bridge separation, Richonne's last real moment together on their TWD journey even concludes with a shot focused on their hands. And you already know I adore this final TWD handhold, which again paints the beautiful picture of how Richonne can always reach each other, hold each other, and stand united.

And then y'all, The Ones Who Live came along and spoiled us rotten with Richonne gold, including more wonderful and ultra-heartfelt Richonne + hands moments.

Michonne placing Rick's hand over her heart to calm him during his panic attack - Perfection 🥹. Michonne softly touching Rick's handless arm after he quite literally gave his hand for her - Perfection 🥹.

Richonne + hands just always remained a thing of beauty along their unforgettable journey.

Always. 🥰

So, all that to say - Richonne's hands told a very compelling story from TWD Season 3 to TOWL. 👌🏽

These moments (and there are even more Richonne hands moments that I could have included if there wasn't a 30 gif max) are a big reason why I adore that Richonne is given this shot focused on their hands in the final episode of The Ones Who Live. How far they’ve come, and they’ve only grown closer and closer and more and more in love. A love story for the ages. 🥹

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

Now, did I basically just dedicate a whole post to Richonne’s hands? Yes I did. 😇 I had to. Their hands moments were just that good and deserved appreciation.

I will forever cherish the opportunity to watch these two characters fall in love in a fallen world and, even with weary hands from this wild world, pick up each other's broken pieces to make each other whole. And each meaningful hand moment portrayed Richonne's ability to do so.

But ok, now, it’s time to talk about the utterly heartwarming and heart-melting moments of Rick and Michonne finally reuniting with their babies. And we're breaking it down in 2 parts because you know I gotta finish as extra as I started. 😌👌🏽

[fakeboycorrection]

Fakeboy story time! This one's a long one, so I'm sure some of you dumber, hornier fakeboys will have to read it in multiple sittings.

Kai had always known that they were nonbinary, ever since they were young. People had always tried putting them in dresses, or getting them into makeup, but it had never felt right. Though, to be fair, typical masculine things had never felt right either. They just didn't feel like they were drawn towards either of those. And though they didn't have a word for it for the longest time, when they first heard about enby people, they knew that's where they belonged.

Going off to college was great for them. Kai had become part of a community of plenty of other trans people, learning about the culture and understanding that gender wasn't some binary thing based on genitals, but something on a spectrum that couldn't be encapsulated with just the simple terms that they had learned growing up. As Kai educated themselves, they grew more and more into a leadership role. Eventually, they even became the president of a group on campus dedicated to spreading the trans rights movement, focused on educating people and allowing themselves to liberate themselves from the restrictions of their genders, just like Kai had been, years ago. They spoke at events, handed out pamphlets, and spent long nights staying up with their trans friends, being a shoulder to cry on as they would start their journey into transitioning.

Of course, Kai also got up to some fun activities on their own, outside of these movements. As a young, sexually liberated enby, they were always looking for some ways to have fun with others and in private. Though they considered themselves a lesbian, and had plenty nice encounters with girls on campus, they had a lot more fun spending some late nights in their dorm room, masturbating to porn online. Some of it was more tame, some of it was more kinky, but it was always uplifting to women and enbies, showing the ways that their bodies could be used to empower themselves, sharing pleasure with the world. Kai loved it, getting deeper and deeper down these rabbit holes, until one day discovering a forum of people that used remotely controlled toys to connect with others around the world, allowing them to control vibrators and choose when to give pleasure out. Kai rushed off to the store, getting one, and logging back into the forum for some fun. They had a lot of fun with girls around the world, even some from different countries, until one day having an interesting encounter with an anonymous account from the site.

"Hey, you interested in some fun?" Was the message they'd received. Kai looked at the account it came from, but it was mostly blank, just saying that it was from a man who was about their age.

"Hi, sorry, I'm usually only into girls and enbies. Hope you have fun with someone else!" They replied, trying to let him down easy. They were about to set their phone down when they got another message.

"Haha, really? I mean, it all happens through a vibrator, and my account doesn't even have a face on it. You could pretend I'm anyone." Kai considered it for a moment. They were really horny after all, and they hadn't gotten any other requests. They decided to indulge, sticking their vibrator into their pants until it was positioned snuggly on their clit.

"Fine, let's get this going, oh mystery man." They smirked slightly, knowing that it would be fun regardless.

"See, there's a good toy." He replied. Kai felt the vibrator turn on, feeling like it was at max strength, causing an involuntary gasp to come out of their mouth. After taking a moment to collect themselves, they replied.

"Wow, going full force off the bat? Don't you know how to properly tease an enby?"

"Oh I know how to. Just giving you a taste of it, so you'll know what you're missing when I do this." And suddenly, the vibrations disappeared completely.

"Hey hey hey! I didn't mean take it away completely!" Kai sent quickly, wanting the pleasure back immediately.

"Then I guess you shouldn't have been so bratty. Apologize, and you can have it back." Kai rolled his eyes and sent a message back.

"Ugh, fine. I'm sorry." Kai waited for a second, but nothing happened. They checked their phone.

"Now, is that any way to apologize to the guy controlling your cunt? Have some manners." They read. Kai wanted to roll their eyes again, but actually felt something stirring inside them at reading that. They decided to take it seriously.

"Okay, I'm really sorry sir. It won't happen again." They replied. Immediately, the vibrator flipped back on, but only to about half strength. It wasn't perfect, but Kai wasn't going to risk losing it again by talking back.

"There we go, that's better. You look so cute in your profile pic. You shouldn't put such a bratty scowl on it." Kai shuddered with a bit more pleasure. They'd forgotten they'd posted a pic of themselves on there. Whoever this man was, he could see exactly what the toy he was playing with looked like.

"Oh come on, you get to see me, but I don't get to see you?" Kai responded, relishing the small amount of pleasure in their pussy. After a few moments a new message popped up, not text, but a picture of the mystery man's cock.

"You like what you see? I might not post my face on here, but I'd argue this is better." Kai stared at the pic for a moment in shock. It was a sizable cock, bigger than any of the toys they'd used in the past. Right after he sent the pic, the man turned the vibrator up, sending more pleasure into Kai's hole.

"Hey! That's not fair, asking if I like something, then turning the vibe up. Now I basically have to say yes..." Kai moaned slightly again. Though they'd only ever been fucked with straps before, they had to admit, the cock did look enticing.

"The only part of that message I choose to acknowledge is the "Yes". But I think we both already knew that was the answer, didn't we? :)" Kai chuckled to themselves. This guy was smug, but he wasn't wrong. This was already the most turned on they'd been while using this site, and the night had barely started.

"Yeah, you're right, okay... sir? Please, give me some more pleasure. I'll even say more nice things for you, like "sir". Kai responded, partially doing it to get more pleasure, but partially because it felt so good to be submissive. They hadn't talked to someone with this level of dominance in quite a while.

"Mmm, I do like hearing the title, but I think there's some other things you can say to earn more vibrations. Some more fun things... Some things you might not want to say..." Kai looked at their phone with a hint of apprehension, but upon feeling the vibrations drop once more, they responded.

"Like what, sir?" They replied quickly, hoping to get the vibrator turned back up as soon as possible.

"Admit that I turn you on more than any girl ever has." He replied.

Kai stared at their phone for a moment. This guy wasn't serious, right? They responded.

"Oh come on. That's not even true, I've been with plenty of girls. You're good, but you're not better than literally all of them." After sending this, the vibrations in Kai's hole disappeared completely. They frantically messaged again.

"Wait wait wait, turn it back up!"

"Not until I hear what I want to hear." He responded. Kai looked down at their leaking, needy hole, then looked back at their keyboard before typing out the next message.

"Alright, fine. You're... better than any girl I've been with... I'll say it, even if I don't believe it." Kai immediately felt the vibrator turn back up to full power, sending another involuntary moan out of their mouth.

"There we go, that wasn't so hard, now was it? And don't worry, by the end of this, that statement will be true. Trust me." Kai was starting to get annoyed at this guy's smug attitude, but had to admit. It felt a little good to say such dirty things. They'd always been attracted to people with vaginas, so saying that a man was better than them felt like something of a taboo. A good taboo. After a minute or so of relishing in the pleasure, Kai felt the vibrator slowly starting to decrease in power. They messaged back once more.

"Wait! Why are you turning it down??"

"You earned a minute for saying that. You earn more if you say more. That seems fair, doesn't it." Kai didn't feel like holding back anymore.

"Very fair, yes sir! Just give me more..."

"There we go, much better. I'll tell you what. I'll give you five minutes if you admit that you feel like more of a girl than a man."

Kai looked at this message, confused. They replied quickly, trying to get through this before the vibrator turned off completely.

"What do you mean? I'm an enby. I'm not a man or a girl."

"Yeah, but if you had to pick one, you'd say you're closer to a girl, wouldn't you?" Kai stared at this, thinking about it for a moment. Though they were an enby, they had to admit, they were more feminine than anything. This was just an admittance of that, more than anything.

"Fine, I admit. I'm closer to a girl than a man." Kai responded, feeling another wave of pleasure hit them as the vibrator turned back on. For some reason, this wave felt even more intense than the last.

"See, you're so easy to convince. And you have to say, it feels good to admit that you're a girl, doesn't it?" He replied.

"Hey, I didn't say that. I said I'm closer to a girl than a man. I'm still nonbinary." Kai replied. Though, reading "You're a girl" did send a strange twinge down their body.

"Sure, sure. I'm sure you're not thinking about how you're secretly just a slutty girl. I'm sure it doesn't turn you on to think about admitting that to me, a man, someone you're not even supposed to be turned on by in the first place." Reading that, Kai moaned again. They didn't even fully understand their own feelings at this point, yet it seemed like this man was speaking their thoughts before they could even think them.

"Fuck, how did you know what I was thinking? Also, still not fair! I'm only turned on by that stuff because you're pleasuring my hole when I was thinking about it." Kai responded, denying the allegations as best as possible.

"Maybe, but why were you thinking those things in the first place? Maybe those thoughts are more true than you realize..." Kai read this, getting even more turned on, feeling like they were getting closer and closer to an orgasm. At this point, they didn't care if it was true or not, they just needed to get pushed over that edge.

"Fine, maybe you're right, just please make me cum sir! I'll be a good little enby, or a good girl, just for tonight if you let me!" They responded, knowing that they were closing in on the end of their five minutes.

"Mmm, I don't know about that..." He responded. Kai felt a wave of despair as the pleasure started to fade from their pussy. "But I'll tell you what. If you can think of the most vile, humiliating, pathetic thing that you can admit to me, and promise me that you'll consider actually believing it, I'll let you cum..."

Kai was desperate at this point, so they gave in almost immediately. "I'm a girl. I'm a girl for you and I want to serve your wishes, sir!"

"That's not nearly enough..." He responded. Kai felt the pleasure disappearing even more. They continued, getting more desperate as the orgasm started to seem unreachable.

"Okay, um... I'll never be a man, or an enby! I'll always be a girl! A straight girl a cis girl, who thinks men like you are superior!" Kai held out hope, but the pleasure continued to disappear.

"Not quite enough... I need even more than that, pretty girl..." Kai was on the verge of tears at this point, desperate to cum. So desperate, that she decided to give in, and let out her deepest, darkest, most real thoughts and fears.

"I'll never be an enby because it's all bullshit! None of us are nonbinary, we're all just attention seeking sluts that need men like you to fuck us! Please sir, I'm just a desperate, slutty girl that needs your cock in me to fix me. Please please cum in me so I can cum, knowing that I'm serving my true purpose as girl, please a cis, straight man's cock! That's all that any of us trans whores want!" Right as she sent it, Kai felt a warm wave of pleasure flow into her cunt. Strangely enough, the pleasure hit her before the vibrator even turned on, though it did turn back on in the end, launching her over the edge and giving her the best orgasm of her life. She came, moaning like a girl, barely able to see as the next message came into her phone. She sat there for minutes, trying to get over the massive shocks of pleasure that kept flowing through her body. Eventually, she managed to regain her composure, panting with her tongue out, and picked up her phone. The next message she read made her heart skip a beat, and the needy, aching feeling in her cunt return.

"Good girl, cumming for me. Your moans sounded beautiful, but you're being a bit loud. I'm in the room above you. Come on up and see how a real man treats a girl, little Miss. "Trans Rights Club" President.

She'd never felt fear like she did at that moment. And she had never felt as horny as she did, walking to the stairs, and heading up into his room.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

This quote is so heartbreaking

Newly estranged relationship😭😭😭 is bad enough but then to follow that with there’s no one in Eddie’s life really is soul destroying.

Buck supporting Eddie through this is a given - the very literal visual metaphor of Buck being at Eddie’s back - of having his back as well as being the supporting hand on his shoulder we saw at the end of the season as Chris left. This is the next phase of that and how it looks remains to be seen. The way this is worded suggests that Chris is going to refuse contact with Eddie - at least initially and that is going to really hurt Eddie.

To me it feels like we might see Buck being in contact with Chris and therefore being able to feed back to Eddie to be the one connection to Chris he has. But also then become some sort of mediator for them as things settle and time and distance allows perspective to be gained and anger to settle. This channel of communication between buck and Chris and Eddie is something we’ve seen develop through the seasons - Buck being a safe space for Chris - someone not his father he can talk to and open up to or go to for help, and also someone Eddie can do the same things with.

It feels like it’s very much going to be a continuation of that established dynamic and a way of tightening the bonds between the three of them further in the long run. It truly is very coparent loaded and really a compelling narrative to explore.

The no one in Eddie’s life really quote also is loaded. It gives rise to the concept that his reltionship with his parents is going to deteriorate as well - that they may refuse to give him information on Chris or not take his calls, not involve him in decisions about Chris that really should have his input.

I found Ryan saying Eddie’s going to lean on buck very interesting as well - especially as he also said

Bucks going to lean on Eddie as well. (Also second mentions of the relationship flourishing and being stronger than ever!)

The fact this is in direct opposition to what Tim said - that Eddie is going to end up feeling a bit out in the cold because Buck will be spending more time with Tommy is interesting. Because which one is it?

Obviously Tim likes to spin his words so they never mean what he actually says. So I take all his interviews with a pinch of salt but I do think we will see that distance he spoke about because it’s good for Eddie to have that space for himself.

Well it can actually be that both are true and that is really interesting from a story telling perspective - and not exactly as a point of conflict, but as a way of juxtaposing Eddie and Tommy - it’s the pulling of the triangle that Buck Eddie and Tommy form.

This idea that Buck is going to be dealing with Gerrard and pushing back against a very different authority figure to bobby has a lot of potential for Buck and his journey of self discovery and self love and acceptance that his arc seems to be set up for this season. I don’t want to talk about Buck and BT in a meta about Eddie though!

I’m really interested to see how Eddie let’s buck lean on him and what that support looks like. Because it will be exactly what Buck needs - Eddie understands Buck and how to nudge him in the right direction - it’s a key part of their dynamic and, I’m of the opinion that we’re going to see s8 as a sort of s3 redux so I think this next iteration of buck and Eddie’s relationship - with Eddie also leaning on Buck is going to be the fight club/ lawsuit arc but in juxtaposition. Whereas in s3 they didn’t lean on each other and support one another, this time they will - it will show how much they’ve changed and grown and trust one another since s3 and how much depth there is to them as a unit. (Which will also be a perfect juxtaposition of how little buck and Tommy know and trust one another!)

[spaceorphan18]

In defense of Season 2 Polin

@somedayillbepeterpan I hope you don't mind, I'm responding to your post, but also making one of my own, because I'm diatribing a bit.

I think -- season 3 makes way more sense after watching season 2. I mean - I enjoyed season 3 without remembering anything from Season 2, but I think Colin's story, in particular, works a lot better with the foundation that Season 2 gives it. Because it's there. (Did I want more of it in season 3 -- yes, yes I always want more, but they had limitations.)

But I mean, Pen and Colin's friendship is solidified in Season 2, in a way that it wasn't in Season 1. Season 1 they had a connection, yes, but it was a lot more like the book(s). There's a distant familiarity there. There's a kindness and respect there. But Season 2 really dug into the friendship, and thus a friends to lovers story. The fact that Pen wrote Colin while he traveled? Huge thing (that wasn't in the books). The fact that they discussed their life ambitions? The fact that they showed character growth in both their individual story arcs? All of this is the foundation for Season 3. Season 3 doesn't work without Season 2.

And it's one reason I really, really love their story because it's not - bam, struck by lightning, now we're in love. It's an evolution. The characters have spent time developing together and on their own. They've grown and matured and had experiences and have learned from those experiences. They've developed a relationship that's built around more than sexual arousal but eventually managed to figure out those romantic feelings on top of the friendship ones.

There's a complexity and multi-faceted story there that is working on a lot of different levels. And Season 2 just does so well to portray that. And honestly, I'm looking forward to Season 4, because we'll get to see a different side to these characters in a post-center piece world. Their romance didn't start in season 3, and it doesn't stop in season 3 either. Something that is unique to just them is that they'll (most likely) get the opportunity to have their story shared over a multitude of seasons. Because (and I mean no disrespect when I say this - the other romances are unique to those stories) their story is not just one story, but does what TV shows do best, and is an arc where the characters have been growing and developing since day one, and will continue to do so until the show ends or Nicola Coughlan pronounces she's done (and hopefully the two will coincide.)