#the one taking care of violas garden after her death is

[winterslibrary]

okay okay okay this is like. general poppy's advisors and kingdom yap (and i actually mean it because goddamn i SURE talked). let's start with the advisors first because they are a little silly and i really really like them!!! (is the one who killed them) + a small explanation on the naming process

poppy's kingdom is located high in the mountains sooo i figured it'd be nice to name all the cookies and the kingdom's citizens after mountain plants/flowers/all other flora! it fits nicely since in my head they are all some kind of mountain fairies (we have faeries already so why not...) and just. yeah. yet at the same time i'm a little unsure because those aren't really food related names, but theeeen there's a pretty amount of cookie run characters not named after some kind of food so. i guess it's all fine. please let me have my silly mountain fairies cookies HAHA

starting first is! viola alpine cookie (she/her) and she's inspired by small, purple mountain flowers of the same name. she's the defense strategist, helping poppy ensure the kingdom's safety.

+ the rest is utc because it's a rather long post so 🙏 sorry the yap demons won (i didn't even try to fight them)

viola is a positive and hardworking person! she gets along with other people very easily, even with her blunt nature. she says what she thinks freely, even if it might cause the other person to get mad at her (but unlike some people, she knows when to better keep quiet...). she values honesty a lot– many times when viola didn't agree with or would question poppy's decisions, she would always speak out and share her thoughts— and poppy would listen to her every word and they would discuss it. poppy values her inputs a lot, especially when it's about to the kingdom. admitedly, viola is somewhat easy to anger. you don't need much, just be an asshole and you'll get a scowling viola, ready to throw a shoe at you. but poppy is always here to calm things down before they get too heated, god bless her.

although viola is a strategist first, she helped train the small army of soldiers the kingdom has. she's also excelent with weapons in general– it's just that viola prefers to not be on the battlefield. she feels better planning, thinking, creating battle scenarios, tactics... anything she can do with a map and a few wooden figures. but if the situation calls for it, viola won't hesitate to fight with all she has, if it means saving someone's life.

viola... loves. well. life. she finds happiness in small things– birds singing, flowers blooming, the smell of delicious food, good music being played on the streets, viola loves it all. to be alive and to be able to experience the beauty of life is the greatest gift. she gets in her feels sometimes, getting all emotional just how glad she is to be alive and appreciate how amazing this world is, and how glad she is to have her friends... she also really loves animals. viola always wanted a small garden, so poppy just. organized viola that garden. there's the royal garden, big and beautiful thing and then there's viola'a garden. small, but she's really happy about it and so thankful to poppy!

second to go is drumrolls... rowanberry cookie (he/him) and i'm sorry he doesnt get a second picrew but thats because no picrew other than this one can capture his vibes. he's themed after the rowanberry trees that can be found in the mountains, alongside with... a lot of places actually. but they are also called mountain-ash so id say it fits! he helps poppy with kingdom's politics.

absolutely ruthless during any meetings with absolutely no bullshit tolerance. you try to disrespect poppy or viola? try to say something bad about the kingdom? good luck because he will make sure you won't get away with it. incredibly smart and well educated on earthbread's politics, rowan is here to ensure that any political meeting poppy has to go through will go smoothly and end positively (for them, of course)... and to ensure that poppy won't say something stupid by an accident. she does that sometimes when she gets too passionate about earthbread's politics, she has strong opinions on... people. so does rowanberry, but he knows how to call someone an ignorant buffoon without actually calling them that. poppy doesn't. and neither she would be allowed to either way, for she is the ruler and some neutrality... would be nice. or– or so rowan says, and that sounds very true, so poppy agrees with him...

though, the moment the meeting ends... he locks himself in his room, flips on the imaginary "do not disturb" sign and goes to sleep for the rest of today– do not talk to him, he is resting, he needs his beauty sleep, and then he needs to sunbathe for two hours while eating fresh fruit and reading fine literature, thank you! rowan loves lazing around, just spoiling himself and doing nothing like some lazy cat, and the only reason why he is so efficient with his job is because he hates all these meetings and paperwork; he really just wants to chill! poppy and viola constantly clown him for that. though his interest in politics is genuine– he is the one who taught poppy a lot of what she knows now.

when the dark flour war started, rowanberry and viola were against poppy's decision to heavily prioritize citizens' evacuation over defending the kingdom. don’t get them wrong, no one wanted a single person dead, but the kingdom needed to be protected too. they had soldiers, viola would lead them and make sure that no one would get hurt, but no matter how hard she and rowan tried to convince poppy, they didn't change their mind. you can rebuild a house, but you can't bring back a lost life. in the end, i guess they saw something in poppy's stubnorness of making sure that no one dies and agreed to their plan.

viola was shocked that poppy's plan actually worked and that everyone survived... even if at the cost of the kingdom, and rowan was one second from losing it, because, oh, rebuilding the kingdom would going to cost them so much and it would affect them for a long, long time, but... poppy was happy, overjoyed even that it worked and despite everything, that made viola and rowan happy too.

there was a time after the dark flour war where poppy felt really alone and just so, so sad about what happened to their friends (some completely disappeared, with some they lost contact), and rowan and viola noticed that. poppy was trying hard to not let it show, but the closests to her still noticed that... so they helped her realize that poppy never was as alone as she thought. she had rowan and viola on her side– her advisors, but most importantly friends that were willing to support and be there for her. it didn't fix everything, no, but it made life a little easier for poppy.

but they died. how, you might ask. when. why did i kill poppy's besties. WELL SO poppy said that they have to go to beast-yeast to deal with their beast and rowan and viola said hey, stop, we are NOT letting you go alone!! count us in!! we will help you!!

the rest is history. god bless them 🙏

[shipposttt]

The Ship of the Day: Damie

Name: Dani x Jamie

Ship name: Damie

Original Content: The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

Ship Info: The Haunting of Bly Manor is a show set in rural England where Dani (an American) goes to work as a nanny for two children – Flora and Miles. The children’s parents died and since then they have been in the custody of their uncle who works away from their home and leaves them in the care of the cook Owen, the housekeeper Hannah and the gardener Jamie. With their previous nanny Rebecca having been found dead, they needed a new nanny – enter Dani. 

Dani and Jamie meet at Bly Manor and start out a tentative relationship, with Dani still having trauma from the death of her ex-fiancé just moments after she called off their engagement. Dani sometimes sees his face and feels like he is haunting her and doesn’t want to taint her new relationship with this. Dani and Jamie have many cute moments together from Jamie calling Dani “Poppins” – after Mary Poppins – and calming her down from a panic attack to Jamie opening up about her childhood to Dani and shower her some of her favourite flowers.

Their relationship starts to blossom throughout the series and as soon as it starts to ger going seriously, as this is still is show about ghosts, it is interfered with by Dani nearly getting killed by a ghost and ultimately having to let the soul of the lady of the lake enter into her in order to save Flora’s life. Whilst in many shows that have sapphic characters this may have been the point in which Dani dies (typical bury the gays and lesbian’s trope), however Bly Manor does not do this. At least not right away. 

Following the last traumatic events at Bly Manor everyone moves away. The children’s uncle decides to take a more active part in their lives, Owen opens up a restaurant and Dani and Jamie move to America and open a flower shop. The following years of Dani and Jamie’s life are spent together happily, they move in together and cook for each other, and Dani proposes to Jamie. Although at this point in time (Bly Manor was set in 80s-90s) it was not legal for two women to marry so they enter into a civil union. At some point during these 10 years after the events at Bly, the lady of the lake (Viola) starts to make her presences more known within Dani. This starts to scare Dani as she does not want to do anything to harm Jamie and so she makes the decision to go back to Bly and walks into the middle of the lake and dies. 

We see Jamie wake up to Dani gone and realise that she has gone back to Bly. Jamie follows her but by the time she has gotten to the lake it is too late, Dani is already dead at the bottom of the lake. Jamie screams and tries to get to Dani but it is of no use, she’s already gone. The show ends with Dani having broken Viola’s curse, as now no one else at Bly Manor would ever be taken by the lady of the lake because she was different. “The lady in the lake was also Dani. And Dani wouldn’t. Dani would never.”. Even though Dani is dead, “dead doesn’t mean gone” and we see in the very last scene of the show - set many years later at Flora’s wedding – Dani’s arm on Jamie’s shoulder.

Type of ship: Canon Queer

The way the creators of this show chose to handle this relationship was beautiful. Even though it was set in the 80s/90s we do not see them experience any homophobia, we simply just see them living a life together. We get a montage of them being happy and settling down. We get to see them getting engaged and even though they’re not allowed to legally get married we still get to see them in a civil union instead of being completely disheartened. There are many period typical things the creators could have chosen to include in the show, however they didn’t they simply just let Dani and Jamie be happy. 

Although, the show does ultimately end with Dani dying and this could be seen as yet another addition to the bury the gays trope I think the way in one done here makes me think about it differently. I understand how it can be very disheartening as a sapphic character that we have become attached too has been killed off and this has been done so many times before that it has somewhat become expected but also there’s a sense of hoping that it wouldn’t happen this time. However, the fact that Dani and Jamie got more than 10 years with each other after the events I think is a great way to look at this because creators could’ve chosen to kill her straight away, but they didn’t. The death of Dani also makes sense artistically as the person who becomes the lady of the lake is destined to die – it happened with Rebecca and she for all intents and purposes was straight and in a heterosexual relationship. 

Therefore, I completely understand why people are still mad at the death of Dani as of course people are attached to this character and this relationship and it feels so unfair but I also feel that for some reasons her death also makes a certain amount of sense. 

Thanks for feeling the feels we me!

Admin 🦈

[tvandenneagram]

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Jamie - Type 4w5

Jamie is introverted, caring and supportive. Jamie takes a while to warm up to people, but when she does, she is a very supportive and kind person. 

At her best, in her relationship with Dani, Jamie is a very supportive and loyal partner. Jamie also becomes more open in her relationships with others, as we see with her friendship with Owen. 

At her worst, Jamie was a bit stand-offish in her introduction, as she was scared of being hurt and vulnerable. Jamie also finds it difficult to let go of her relationship with Dani.

When we first meet Jamie, she is very introverted and closed-off to meeting new people. Jamie admits that she prefers plants to people, because she feels like they are more reliable than people are. This explains why she was reluctant to start a relationship with Dani, but as she spends more time with Dani, she realises Dani is a kind and caring person, unlike some of the previous people she has met. Dani makes Jamie feel like having relationships is worth it, and makes her more open in general. 

Despite her reserved nature, Jamie does show that she cares about the other people at Bly Manor and does show interest in their lives. For example, Jamie tries to cheer up Rebecca after Peter goes missing, and even tries to encourage Rebecca to ask Henry for a pupillage so she can become a barrister. Jamie is also very caring towards Owen and is there for him after his mother’s death. 

I think that Jamie likes to use her gardening as a creative outlet, and is a little unconventional in her gardening. For example, Jamie is fascinated by the moonflower because she considers it to be a special plant. The moonflower is a metaphor for her relationship with Dani, as she feels like most people aren’t worth it, but every now and then, people come along that are special and worthwhile. 

4s are often romantics and become very engrossed in their romantic relationships, as we see with Jamie’s relationship with Dani. Early on in their relationship, Jamie realises that she wants to spend the rest of her life with Dani. Even after Dani leaves due to Viola’s presence, Jamie follows her to Bly Manor and tries to get her back. Years later, Jamie is still longing for her relationship with Dani, and still believes that she will see Dani again, hence her staring into the bathtub.

Jamie shows her wing 5 as she is more introverted and introspective than a 4w3 would be. Jamie is also less concerned with her outwardly image and achievements, than a 4w3 would be. 

Tri-type: 4w5 - 5w4 - 8w9

Some quotes to describe Jamie’s motivations

“Sometimes, people just need to be alone.”

"One day at a time is what we've got. It's what everybody's got if you get down to it." 

“If you can’t feel anything, then I’ll feel everything for the both of us”

“Build a pile of old bones and burn away the shadows. Because from here on in, the shadows get deeper, the nights get longer. We’re heading into the dark and we have to hang onto each other”

“The wrong kind of love can f**k you up.”

“Everyone is exhaustive, even the best ones. But sometimes, once in a goddamned moon, someone like the moonflower, just might be worth the effort.”

[starring-movies]

The Haunting of Bly Manor: Episode Analysis

*SPOILERS*

Episode 2 - The Pupil

Episode 2 of The Haunting of Bly Manor is split into two halves, with the first being 6 months earlier and focusing on how and why Miles got sent home from boarding school; and the second half continuing with the present-day storyline at the manor.

A teacher at Miles’ school, Father Stack, who takes a particular interest in helping Miles, reads a bible excerpt from Mark 5:11 in one of the lessons. He reads “now, there on the hillside a great herd of swine were feeding. And the unclean spirits begged him, ‘send us into the swine, let us enter them’. So, he gave them permission, and the unclean spirits came out and entered the swine. And the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea, and were drowned in the lake”. The excerpt is important to Miles in regard to the rules for Peter and Rebecca taking over his and Flora’s bodies. According to this bible story, Miles is told that Peter and Rebecca cannot survive in his and Flora’s bodies without them being pushed out, unless Miles and Flora give “permission” for them to enter their bodies.

It’s a notable difference that the original bible excerpt says that they were drowned in the “sea”, not the “lake”. This alteration brings our attention the story, as it makes it more akin to Miles and Flora’s situation. It also brings it to Miles’ own attention that Peter and Rebecca taking over their bodies permanently will “drown” them, because they will never be able to take over their own bodies again. However, it also gives Miles hope that even the “demons” can’t take away man’s god given free will; and so Peter and Rebecca can’t take possession of their bodies permanently, without them being given the opportunity to use their own choice to grant them that permission.

Father Stack also calls the “unclean spirits”, which are parallel to Peter and Rebecca, “demons” when he is paraphrasing the story. The choice to change the word that’s used reflects Peter’s malicious intent of taking over Miles’ body.

On the blackboard behind Father Stack, we can also see that there is a number of other bible verses which the pupils are reading in class. We can see written on the blackboard is; Mark 5:1-20, Gerasene Demonica, Matthew 8:28-34, Luke 8:26-37 and Healing Gerasene Demonica. All of the verses on the board are various narratives of the Exorcism of the Gerasene Demonica, which is the name of the story that Father Stack was reading.

Miles then receives a letter from Flora, through Father Stack. We don’t find out until later in the episode that Flora’s letter says “come home”, and has a drawing of her crying with a sad Rebecca and a happy Peter near her. The “come home” that’s written on the letter is a nod to The Haunting of Hill House, where Olivia wrote on the wall for Nell to “come home” to her. In both of these instances ‘coming home’ results in tragedy. For Nell it resulted in her death and if Dani hadn’t saved Miles and Flora, then Peter and Miss Jessel would have succeeded in possessing their bodies.

We then see Miles climb up a tree and jump from it. An action which seems odd and sudden at first, but after we find out that Miles is actually trying to get home after receiving Flora’s letter, it makes much more sense. Miles had heard at the beginning of the day that a classmate was at home and not able to return because “he took a bit of a tumble”, so Miles is also trying to get sent home by taking a “bit of a tumble” himself. However, his plan doesn’t succeed and so he acts out in a number of increasingly troubling ways in order to get sent home.

That evening, Miles’ friend, Hooper, asks him why he jumped from the tree and Miles says that he was “just looking for the right key”. Looking for “the right key” turns out to be something that Miles learnt from Peter. In Episode 3, Peter told Miles that to impress a woman you have to find the right key for her, and for the majority of women their ‘key’ is flowers. So in this instance, Miles’ goal is not to impress a woman but to return home to Flora, and so he is trying to find “the right key” to make Father Stack give up on him and send him back home.

Miles’ third and final attempt to get himself sent home was to kill Father Stack’s bird, called Pidge, and he then shows no remorse when asked to apologise for the act. Miles does this because Father Stack told him previously that “it’s that feeling of remorse, that guilt... that’s what distinguishes us in God’s eyes” and that “none of us are blameless except... the animals”, and so he knows that the only way that Father Stack will send him home is if he does something unforgivable against an “innocents” and shows no “guilt” for doing so.

Back in the present day we see Hannah staring at a crack in the kitchen wall, which we go on to find out is actually a recurring vision of a crack in the well.’s wall. This crack in the wall of the well was the last thing that Hannah saw, after being pushed down the well, before she died.

As Owen, Hannah and Jamie sit and relax while Dani has the children weeding in the garden, they have a brief conversation. Jamie ‘tests the water’ and asks Owen his “thoughts on the new au pair” and says that she thinks that Dani is “maybe a bit too pretty”, continuing to ask him “do you think she’s pretty?”. Jamie is obviously interested in Dani but wants to dip her toe in the water before plunging in, to see if Owen will attempt to pursue Dani. But Owen says “don’t worry, I only have eyes for you, Hannah” - if Jamie knew that Owen, the only man in the manor, was interested in pursuing Dani then she knows that there would be no point in even attempting to pursue Dani herself. But through this probing she’s found out that she will have no competition from him, so she has a glimmer of hope that she might have a chance.

In this scene, Hannah also touches the back of her neck/head, which is something that she does repeatedly throughout the season. She constantly does this gesture because her neck was broken when she was pushed down the well; so she continually feels the pain in her neck, in the same way as she often sees cracks in the walls and gets stuck in memory loops.

Later, after the children and Dani have finished the gardening, Dani returns to her room to find that Flora has cleaned it and has found Eddie’s glasses amongst her belongings. Dani runs out of the house and has a panic attack, as this is probably the first time that she’s seen the glasses since Eddie’s mother gave them to her right before she left for Europe.

Jamie is on her way to fill in the crack in the kitchen wall, which Hannah asked her to do earlier, when she comes across Dani as she’s having her panic. Jamie handles it in the best way possible by trying to get Dani to laugh. It’s clear that her goal was to make Dani laugh as when Dani does eventually laugh, she smiles and says “there we are”. Jamie continues to try to calm Dani down and to help her feel normal and not be embarrassed (we can clearly see Dani is embarrassed and trying to hide her crying), as she tells her “I cry three, maybe four ties a day around here. Five, if I’m really being honest with myself”.

In return for helping to calm her down when she was having a panic attack, after finding that Miles (being possessed by Peter) has ruined Jamie’s roses, Dani tries to calm Jamie down. Although at first saying that they’re “just a few flowers”, after seeing how much Jamie cares about them, Dani instead is sympathetic and says “no, you’re right, I’ll talk to him”.

Just like Jamie did with Dani, Dani assesses the situation and adapts to fit the emotional need that was required of her at that moment - to calm Jamie down and make her feel seen. Dani shows compassion, empathy and understanding towards Jamie’s feelings, even though she might not understand why Jamie is upset herself.

When Dani is playing the game of hide and seek with Flora and Miles, Flora hides up in the attic. The attic is where the ghost of Perdita lives and that’s why the ghost can only hum along with Flora with a strained voice - Viola strangled Perdita, so her throat must have been extensively damaged and so she can only really wheeze.

Amusingly, after Miles (being possessed by Peter) tries to strangle Dani during the game of hide and seek, Dani says that the game is over, she runs back into the main part of the house and shouts “olly olly oxen free”. I’d never heard this term myself, but after looking it up, I found that it’s a phrase used to tell the players of a game that the sides have changed or that the game is over entirely. I found this amusing as it seems like a very feeble attempt to rein the children back in, after almost being strangled by one of them.

After seeing Peter through a window, we get the first example that what Dani said about herself in Episode 1, “I’m a lot braver than people think”, is definitely true. She doesn’t run and hide, despite being absolutely terrified of Peter, but she picks up a fire poker and runs outside, shouting “I’m going to call the fucking police”, to confront him herself.

At the end of the episode we get another example of Miles trying to protect Dani from the ghosts in the house. Miles knows that Peter is lurking around, as he’s just been possessing him, and so he tells Dani that he doesn’t “feel so good” and pretends to faint, so that Dani will come back inside and away from Peter.

You can read my previous The Haunting of Bly Manor posts here:-

Episode 1 - The Great Good Place

Episode 3 - The Two Faces, Part One

Episode 4 - The Way It Came

Episode 5 - The Altar of the Dead

Episode 6 - The Jolly Corner

——————————————————————————

[webgeekist]

I woke last night, and the beast had been there before me.  She placed my hand over your throat.  I’m not sure if she’s graced me with a warning, or if I stopped her before she could take you, but I can’t allow her to try again.  I can’t let her take you, too.

—

Jamie wasn’t surprised when she received the invitation.  The children may not remember her well, perhaps a passing memory as their uncle’s old friend, but he would have been sure to grant an opportunity in Flora’s wedding for a reassurance that they were thriving and happy, for a chance to see them again, even if they could hardly remember her.  And, perhaps most, for the opportunity to see what her wife’s sacrifice had provided his family, and that it, maybe, it was worth something.

The pain wasn’t in the invitation.  It was in the knowledge that Miles and Flora wouldn’t remember the very reason the invitation had been so important.  The children didn’t remember Dani at all.

Owen called her to ask if she would make it out.  He more than Henry was aware of what the past seven years had done, the significance of Flora’s chosen wedding date, entirely coincidental, and what attending any wedding at all might stir.  It had been but days after Vermont had granted the two of them some pseudo-legal way of putting their five year marriage to paper when Viola finally took Dani, when Dani had finally lost the battle to bear even her own weight, and the loss of that life had left Jamie sunk into the dirt, tending only to her plants.  For a while, Owen tried to keep tabs on her, knowing himself what it was like to grieve so deeply, but Jamie had shut him out after a while with the rest of the world.  Their calls were short, more of a welfare check than a conversation.

She didn’t want to go, if she were being honest, but she didn’t tell Owen that.  She suspected he didn’t have to hear it.  Hiding in grief was something they had both been good at, in their times.  So it again came as no surprise when, arriving late to the rehearsal dinner as she did, mid-toast to a girl at the head of the table who remembered him far better than the silver-haired new arrival at the very end, Owen stopped speaking.  What went through his mind as she took her seat was anyone’s guess, but Jamie thought in that moment that fear might have passed over his face.  She was aware of how time had changed her.  She paid it little care.  Time spent looking in reflections was time spent looking for something other than her own.

Reflections were things that traveled with her, but Jamie had searched for seven long years.  She was terrified of the idea that Dani would come home, find the apartment they shared empty, and never come back again.  She filled every basin with water as she went, begging the Lady of the Lake to follow her across a vast and wide country, an ocean and more removed from her home in the inky waters at Bly.

It was nice to see Flora so happy.  Jamie might not have stayed for the whole affair at all if the girl’s face didn’t seem so familiar in her love, and it allowed her to remember what that felt like.  It’s not that the memories faded.  It’s not that she didn’t keep them close.  It’s that in her grief and her emptiness, she imagined she knew what Dani felt like as the last of her days approached — there, but not.  Going through the motions of life without ever really feeling any of it.

She was so sure Dani had never meant to leave her so broken, understood why she had let Viola finally have control.  In the last weeks, she was so, so tired.  Jamie had tried so hard to bear both their weights, but the last of it— the heaviest of it— was beyond her, though she had tried with her whole heart.

Dani would never let her.

Into the night, she was surprised that she lingered.  Seated by a warm fireplace, listening to the stories she had missed in Flora’s life, smiling at stories about the adventures she and her soon-to-be-husband had already been on, blissfully unaware of the harrowing tale she had already participated in.

And then, they spoke of ghosts, and that was a subject that Jamie for all her quiet during the evening was particularly well versed in.

Owen and Henry looked briefly horrified, but...maybe this was why she came.  Maybe the opportunity to tell Flora the story of how she had been granted the opportunity to fall so in love was exactly why she was there.

They were surely afraid she would tell this story, and Flora would remember, but Jamie would never disturb her hard-won happiness.  She would tell the story, change some names around, but leave the indelible message of the tragic tale intact.

And as she told it, she found the remembering pleasant.  Not that she relished telling the story of Hannah Grose’s tragic end, of Owen’s sorrow, or of Henry’s near-death.  She wished as she told the tale that she could change any detail of Dani’s fate at all, but her memory had not been granted the gift of the weathering of time.  She remembered it all as print on the pages of her mind, solid as stone for the rest of her days.

The hour when she finished was late, but she could not regret the telling.  Something inside her felt lighter, as if the story itself had been her own personal beast in the jungle, and telling it had somehow exorcised it.

Owen was the one to usher away her gathered audience, wishing perhaps to stave off too many questions.  She’d been careful to obscure so many details, but the possibility always remained — and Jamie had risked — that one of the children would remember the name she finally gave to the au pair at the end of her story.

Dani.  It was a name they once knew, and had long forgotten.  But Jamie could never, and if they had nothing of the woman who gave them a chance at the happy ending their elders would never have, the children would have this story and Dani’s name.

Jamie hadn’t known what to expect of the gathered crowd’s reactions, but Flora’s simple statement later had been right in a way she had never considered.

Love stories and ghost stories were the same things.  

Their story — their wedding gift to Flora, in a way — was the only way she could keep Dani alive past her own memory, living in more than the moments that were silly or dumb, or made her cry, and that she kept close and dear in her waking mind and in her dreams.

She stayed past when she expected to be able to bear, through the ceremony and into the reception, lighter and happier than she had been in years, and felt a warmth she couldn’t explain.  Something was easier, comfortable, present.  Maybe, Jamie reasoned, she was simply gratified that the little girl she and Dani had once known had grown up into a magnificent young woman, in love and loving, and at peace.

Something of that peace was her own now, a part of whatever the rest of Jamie’s story would be.

The water in the tub was warm and fresh, and in the basin, it stood clean and clear.  Jamie searched those reflections for her lover one last time.  This was her routine.  She would prepare, dress in silk and make herself as pretty as someone sleeping might care to be, and she would sleep by the door opened just a crack.  Sometimes in waking, the remnants of her dream would linger, and she would be fooled into thinking someone was in the room with her.

She smiled softly as she settled into her chair, wishing it were so, and drifted into sleep.

—

“Here’s the thing.  You’re my best friend, and the love of my life.”  Dani’s face was so open in that moment, shining in soft light, the glint of gold held aloft in Jamie’s hand, surrounded by their tiny kitchen and every fledgling plant they cared for.  This was her favorite memory, her best part.  She would live in this moment forever, if she could.

“And I don’t know how much time we have left.  But whatever it is, I want to spend it with you.”

So precious little.  So very much.  What ended up being so many years at the time would have felt like an eternity, but Jamie had lived past the ends of infinity, and been left alone in the dark.

She was so reluctant to break the script of this precious memory, having clung so tightly to it in its exact form for years to preserve it.  She’d always been afraid that saying something else, anything else, would begin an inevitable end.  

All memory fades, eventually.  She had tried so, so hard to make sure Dani’s never would.

“I want this.  So, so much.  All I want with you, Dani, is more time.  We deserved so much more time.”

The woman in her dream paused, and smiled so wide Jamie was left confused for a moment.  Their proposal had been so emotional, so filled with watery gazes and happy tears.  This smile was different, but Dani’s eyes were no less watery.

And blue.  Both of them, the blue she remembered from when they first met.

“I’ve been waiting so long for you to finally say that.”

For a long moment, Jamie simply stared, but she couldn’t bear it any longer.  They crashed forward, embracing each other desperately as they had at the lake so many years ago, and the woman in her arms was so warm, so real that Jamie had difficulty believing that she was dreaming anymore.

“I’ve always been here, Jamie,” the lilt of her voice fluttered across the gardener’s heart, just as her fingers and her warm touch did the same.  “Because you have loved me, I will always be here.  And because I loved you, you’re always with me.”

—-

When she woke, the sun had just begun to make its way across the sky.  She was groggy, still a little tired but….happy.  And warm.

Warm that radiated from a single point on her shoulder.

She turned, as she so often did after waking, as she so often hoped in the space between sleep and full consciousness to catch a glimpse of something she longed for, and when the hand lifting from her shoulder, its ring finger bearing a band that matched her own, came into view her breath caught.

“Dani…”

The morning light was so soft, and Dani looked somehow more ethereal than any Bly ghost had.  Faded, but her face was bright and clear, her blue eyes shone with unshed tears, as beautiful as the day they had met.

“I’m here, Jamie.”  The sound of her name carried on Dani’s trembling voice nearly sent her to tears, but she refused.  She wanted — needed — to see clearly.

“You’ve come back to me.”

She smiled.  “I never left.”

“But I’ve missed you.  So, so much.”

“You held to our memories so tightly, Jamie.  You clung to them like letting them go meant letting me go.  I’ve been here, waiting in your dreams.  But you needed to remember.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?  Why did you let me cling to them?”

Dani toted her head.  “You carried so much of my burden in life, Jamie.  This was the last.  We were so lucky to have each other for so many days, but we always knew why our time in life together would be short.  That was always our gift for Flora, and in telling our story, you’ve finally delivered it.”

She could feel the truth of those words in the telling.  She’d somehow known all along.  It was why she was all the way out there to begin with.

But with the lightness, a sudden emptiness.  As if she’d forgotten the hole in her heart, she was suddenly reminded by the clenching of it.

Jamie’s tears finally broke.  “How long must I continue without you?”

A watery, ghostly gaze might have broken, as well.  It was hard to tell between tears.

“Would you like company?”

“What?”

“Would you like company?  While you wait?”

Jamie hesitated only a moment before she asked her final question, her whole heart in it.  “Can you stay with me?”

Dani smiled sweetly, but continued to fade in the rising light.  “One night at a time, Love.  We’ll take it one night at a time.  But after that, I promise Jamie, we’ll have forever.  And in the between, remember my note.  Remember what I said.”

Dani faded finally, the daylight taking her, and Jamie was left immediately longing for the next night to come.

But the words in Dani’s final note, suddenly, meant so much more than it had before, and she knew she could make it between the dreams alone, just a little longer.

—

I woke last night, and the beast had been there before me.  She placed my hand over your throat.  I’m not sure if she’s graced me with a warning, or if I stopped her before she could take you, but I can’t allow her to try again.  I can’t let her take you, too.

But I swear to you, Jamie, I will remember.  I will remember your face and your warmth and your heart for as long as you live, and longer.  I will not let time weather what we were to just the shape of it.  What we had is made of stronger stuff than that.

I loved you completely, Jamie.  And you loved me the same.

Live, for the both of us.

[talesofealdancynedom]

Corona Wintersleep, in fairy robes; Is she hiding to avoid her family, or just people annoying? You may not get an answer, because this is the comic relief episode.

Tale 19: Meriam Craweleoth: Mage Queen of The Grand West (chapter 5 -  Do Not Wait 5/10) part 4. Stories of Old

Maps

menton of death and/or casual drug use

After the Battle in Celticia, Meriam had some nice peaceful years with her family. Feon and Edmond gave her a lot to think about, including the value of her daughter, husband and nephew. She felt lucky to be queen, and use magic peacefully, and watch over the magic forest city she had made with the Raven Gate. The harvests where good, and Francia retreated from the east boarder for the winter. Anglia enjoyed finally being safe at every other boarder. Yet, Meriam lusted for more; she wanted another adventure, and more allies. She suspected Francia may be bribing the Eastern and Southern nations, to aid in conquest; or reap their land. It was almost too quiet this season. Then one day, at a court meeting, the scribe translator read a letter from the Far South: Hispania. Hispania was so far away from the rest of Ealden Cynedom, that people knew nothing about it. All except Meriam, who read about a specific type of mage in one of Feon’s journals, and that the main magic forest in Hispania, belonged to the Fairy Gate. The thought of undiscovered magical scenery, gave her wanderlust once more.

           The Letter said that Hispania had fallen into civil unrest, as families instead of governments, tried to acquire mages to rise to power. Currently there was no consolidated government, causing the balance around the Fairy Gate to fall into corrupt hands. The Far South of Hispania had no care for the politics of other lands, and instead wanted advice; They had heard marvelous stories about the mage queen of the Grand West. And one family decided to contact her.

But Meriam’s king husband, and the other court members, had no interest in the Far South. It was a month’s journey away, and provided no trade or threat. But these things are meaningless to a mage. Outside her window, the Raven Gate was visible in the square. Meriam could travel alone through the shadow veil, to the Fairy Gate, all by herself. Time and distance were malleable in the veil, and mages could use gates, like fey, to travel between magic forests. But Meriam needed to know if the Fairy Gate was open, because if it was, that meant there was a mage. The men around Meriam rolled their eyes, as she rose her hand to hear the rest of the message.

“Our mage is a fair lady, unlike her kin. There are white marks about her wrists, and a heart with a sword marked on her chest. She is a mage that can heal with compassion; If only she could love. Her name is Corona Wintersleapen. She was bred and possessed by her family for power, and then ran away to the peak of the city. Inside the mouth of the halved mountain, is a lush jungle of wonder around the iced Fairy Gate. Corona’s darkened heart needs to be healed, so the city can prosper. She must belong to no one, and stop harming anyone who attempts to reach her. The city needs to access, coexist, and expand into the enchanted jungle. We believe your queen’s power, and achievements, make her the best person for the job.” The Messenger said. The translator gave a brief summery.  Then there was a bump under the table. Meriam and the king looked under, and Eatheltwein, their nephew, was eavesdropping on the courts with his canary.

“Eatheltwein Cynedom, we talked about this. You should be studying literature, not joining our table. I know you wish to be included as you enter manhood, but this is not your time. Off with you.” The King demanded. Eatheltwein slinked off like a scared dog. Leaving the court embarrassed and the messenger, scribe, and translator very confused.

“I will quickly use the gates to settle this matter. I want to be on good terms with every kingdom. I cannot bring my men, as the pure magic of the shadow veil petrifies commoners in it’s deprivation of the senses. Not to mind the presence of the beast kings. I will go alone in my fairy robes, wielding the unbreakable sword and bow. Care for our daughter and Eathel well.” Meriam said. She stood up and left before anyone could stop her. It had been a long time since she had an adventure; it made her giddy. Meriam almost had a skip to her step as she went to her study; And then she noticed someone was following her…

           Meriam walked into the shadow veil, through the black marble Raven Gate in the square. She entered the serene setting of black, white and grey. As she walked though a rough forest trail, no birds sang, or wind blew. The light almost refracting as it spilled through the canopy. Meriam did not look behind her, nor her familiar Nithen; yet she still sensed she had a follower. The shadow veil was not deterring them... Then Meriam crossed into the plains full of unicorn, and carnivorous mares. Then hiked through the rough terrain of the wolf kingdom, with cats of luck and moonlight, that hid in the brush. Only magic had colour here; fey, fairy robes, magic tools, and the eyes of those who wield it. Nearly at her destination, Meriam crossed a bridge of ice into the Fairy Kingdom, where the frosted trees echoed with the laughter of children, and everything glittered like diamonds and snow. Yet, her pursuer still walked behind her. Is it even a person? Why didn’t the shadow veil deter them?   She thought. As Meriam stood at the foot of a stone circle, engraved with the table of fours, she decided to look behind her. Meriam was taken aback: Eatheltwein stood gleaming with joy, admiring all the fairies, and the soothing atmosphere. This meant two things: firstly, Eathel was now her responsibility, and was in a world of trouble. Secondly, in order to be content in the ether of all magic, he must be a mage. Noticing the confused glare of his aunt, Eatheltwein nervously waved hello.

“Sorry Aunt Merry, the quest just sounded like a lot of fun. I’m tired of talking to trees in the court yard, and reading books about dead men. I Love you, and want to go on an adventure! Also, what is this place? It’s a bit odd isn’t it.” He smiled, looking around innocently.

           Realizing Eatheltwein was a mage, and that his canary was his familiar, Meriam decided to take the opportunity to teach him more magic. Something so powerful must be utilized wisely and safely. Eathel had developed a habit of sneaking into her magic study, and reading her mage journals, this whole time. His little familiar’s name was Viola, and she was quieter than Meriam’s kestrel familiar Nihten. Though a golden canary suited Eatheltwein well; he never shut up, and was very innocent, and showy. When the surprise faded, they all began to take the adventure as an opportunity to bond. With joy, they stepped through the Fairy Gate, and into the Mediterranean heat of Hispania. Eatheltwein coughed; he had come from right from a pleasant and crisp winter in Anglia.

The fairy gate was atop a large, forested, fey infested mountain. It was overlooking a city of white sandstone, painted vibrant colours. The tall houses had tall walls with small iron gates, and where like vibrantly painted stacked children’s blocks. The view in every clearing was spectacular. You could hear music, shouting, and singing echo up the mountain. It sounded like an undying fiesta. In Feon’s book, she said this place was called Torres de Calendulas; Meriam had no clue what that meant, she only knew there was a Meader mage wielding healing love magic here somewhere. If the message she received was accurate.

           Eathel’s company was pleasant. He helped search. There were no trails, just twisted trees with odd leaves, ripe fruit, and large colourful flowers. What odd tree children, they both thought; And so many pretty, shinny, colourful Phoenix’s, minor Roc’s, and cockatrices. There were also many nymphs in the trees, creeks, freshwater springs, and patches of sunlight they passed; yet no people. The magic forest was thick, and toughly filled with fey. The Fairy Gate itself was a wonder made of solid aquamarine, that looked like ice; Yet, it was nothing compared to its forest. As they searched, Meriam and Eatheltwein suddenly walked into a short Indigo cornfield. It gave way to a yard of colourful patches of perfectly square vegetable beds, making a garden in front of a perfectly square spackled house, with a blue roof. On the porch sat a man of tanned skin, and deep eye’s and hair. His hair was curled, and waved into a short low ponytail, and weaved with marigolds of various colours. He wore a loose cotton shirt with a deep neckline, and poofed sleeves, that were embroidered with pinstripes and wild patterns of vibrant colours which matched his tight pants. He was tuning a lute, and humming with the cicadas. Meriam had the most confused look on her face. Between the hallucinogenic fey, perfect garden, and this man’s outfit, she wondered if she had eaten something unusual before she left.

“Eatheltwein, are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Meriam asked, in a mildly disturbed way.

“Oh my, It’s not just me! Thank the fjords! I thought I had eaten those mushrooms again…” Eatheltwein sighed. Meriam turned to look at him with a jerk; she made a gesture that suggested she had too many questions to actually ask them.

           Eatheltwein and Meriam were experiencing the special type of embarrassment that comes from walking into a stranger’s house, being offered a myriad of things, and not being sure what the socially acceptable thing to do is. The man talked in a monotone voice, with a slight cheer, and his face expressed no emotion, whilst still encapsulating a polite faux sense of enthusiasm. Like he might be in pain. He switched between old Anglian and old Hispanian, making him nearly incomprehensible. Meriam and Eathel were now eating what was probably chillies filled with cheese, and topped with a fried egg, inside a corn tortilla. The man starred at them with the same expression, while strumming is lute giddily. The unfamiliar notes not forming a coherent melody. They all made uncomfortable distressing prolonged eye-contact. Then the man started smiling. Meriam looked like she was in fear as the strings of melted cheese hung from her mouth and the iron skillet she shared with her nephew. Wait, it’s not iron… its copper?

“How is it dear visitors? I made it with my lady’s fine recipe; with golden goose eggs!” He said with a thick accent, and astrum of him lute. “She is a talented potion maker, and Heartmann mage.” He continued. The last part was in old Hispanian. Meriam started to cry. She had no idea what was going on. She had seen war, but this broke her.

“Aunty Merry, are you ok? I have concluded we actually may have shared some suspicious forest gatherings at the palace. But what luck! I love spending time with you. And to be in one of your adventures; This is fantastic! And this food, whatever it is, is disgusting in a way that makes me keep eating it.” Eatheltwein cheered. Meriam’s crying, now also contained a sort of gagging and laughter. Her mouth was still full of cheese. This was not her finest moment. Worse yet, this cabin bard, who was attending her fever dream, spoke in an incomprehensible fast language, and Meriam could not ask where the Meader mage, Corona, was. Then she recognized the word ‘Heortemann.’ She swallowed, and took some deep breathes, when she realized the walls were covered in paintings, potions, baking trays, and cookware. It was a gingerbread cottage, spackled like confetti cake. Eathel was now examining the large oven at the end of the cottage, and the stairs down to a cellar; Where Meriam began to hear laughter.

           Peering into the dim cellar, like two children looking into a well, Meriam and Ealtheltwein saw two large beautiful fairies, and a woman with platinum hair, amber eyes, white fairy kingdom fair robes, and a marking in black, of a sword in a heart upon her chest. The three cellar occupants looked unblinkingly at Eathel and Meriam.

“You brought mages my love! More friends for our party in our safe little garden!” the female fairy spoke. She matched the second fairy like a twin; though the other fairy was a boy. Their complexions were like ice, and their hair was silver, and eyes that were pale and lustered like aura quartz. Their wings were lilac and periwinkle, and shimmered like their eyes. They wore fairy robes, and had crowns of ice. They looked just like the Fairy King and Queen. Meriam was delighted; Royal Fairies. Fairies make sense! She almost started to tear again.

“Hello, you must be Corona Wintersleapen. Your people need you to stop attacking them, when they go near the magic forest. They fear your introverted nature is caused by your families neglect. But I think your just a mage, and people are mean.” Meriam said. “Also, your two royal friends are radiant, by the way.”

“Nada. I do not attack the people. They just get lost in the forest; the fey lead them back out again. It’s their fault for trying to cut down the tree children, instead of asking politely to be neighbors. If they were nicer, and stopped having children in hopes of bearing mages, their city could become entangled with this forest no problem. And I live happy in my little cottage, with all my true loves. I want nothing to do with tower folk.” Corona spoke. She sounded like a snooty child.

“Miss, this situation is so upsetting to common folk; they cower in fear-” Meriam said. Then she stopped. “Wait, you just don’t want to talk to commoners? It has nothing to do with your family or how close or far away they are?”

“Se” Corona chirped. “I even send them medicine, when the sickness passes time to time.”

“Wait, true love? With all four of you? That is a lot of love… Aunt Merry says you’re a mage that can heal with love; you must make everyone feel better with four times the hugs!” Eatheltwein smiled. “I love romantic stories! Is that why everything is copper and you have so many baking and brewing supplies? To heal people and befriend fairies?” Eathel gleamed. Meriam rolled her eyes.

“We are Earden Faries; royal fey! We came to look for our father, but my sister fell in love with this fine bard! And then I fell in love with this adorable lady! So, we stayed here, instead of returning home with no news of our father. Her shortbreads are wonderful!” the fairy prince said sweetly. Meriam went into seer mode; she covered Eatheltwein’s mouth, to start an interrogation:

“Why were you looking for your father: The Fairy Queen?” She asked.

“Oh, my love can sing that for you! It’s very sad. We taught him to sing it in every tongue.” The fairy princess said.

“I love songs and music! Why I would love a ballad form that fine lads lute!” Eathletwein said.

“No.” Meriam grimaced. “Just tell me. I want to record everything in grotesque detail.” she demanded. The man took his seat, and the fairies hugged his knees, and Corona curled up to keep brewing in the wine cellar. Then the unsettling bard took a deep breath, and started with one strum; and Meriam’s palm, met her face.

Upon the tallest mountain, in the southmost lands; A selfish king did ask a mage for a simple thing.

He held a knife to the mage’s kin, and then began to yell.

Summon me the Raven King; whose song will kill us all.

The armies of the bitter folk, come before my fort. Now have the biggest raven come, and make the men no more.

When the Raven King did come, from his shadowy throne; the Fairy Queen did run away, to stop the bird lord’s song.

Alas too late, the mage summoned him, and the Raven began to plea: “release my mage, my dearest friend and I may sing for thee.”

Forgotten was the darkness, of the king’s new oath; For when the Raven King began to chime, the king and mage began to fall.

The Fairy Queen, though light of foot, could not warn the peoples to flee;

And down came the fort and mountain, and all the fey and trees.

No one lived to tell the tale, of how a mountain halved; to quote the lives of all that died, or witness the beast king’s spell.

The Fairy King did cry, for the loss of her dead love. The Raven King forgiven, but the damage already done.

The lord of birds he cracked his voice, for death he saw as sin; and tells each mage of whom he sees, of what crimes he did commit.

Now that many years have past, and the Gate and Forest remade. The people here will never learn, but at last we’re safe.

           It doesn’t matter how talented a bard is, if the courts don’t care to listen. Meriam got up, broke his lute in a rage, and glared the man with malice.

“No. I am a Queen, a time controlling mage, a wife, and a Mother; I have seen battle, magic, murder, pain, and filth beyond imagination; AND I DON’T WANT TO BE SERENADED BY A HISPANION STALLION COLLECTING FARIES IN A FANTASY MUSHROOM SAMBA.” Meriam cursed. Her dark powerful voice even scared Eatheltwein, who cowered in the oven. The information was fun lore, and it explained the art on the walls. But it would not satisfy Hispania in terms of having good will towards this magic forest; or Anglia. Meriam pulled Eathel out of the oven, and Corona out of the cellar. She brought them to the table to sit, while the royal fairies swooned, and transmuted a new loot for their love, from a broken ladle.

           The most Meriam could do now, was inform Corona that common folk can’t talk to trees, so she would have to be a witch and negotiate the land partitioning between commoners and tree children. Corona hated the idea; that would require leaving the forest and talking to people.

“If you don’t want to talk to people, send your insufferable bard. He’s a special kind of peasant. Small people might find him charming.” Meriam scoffed.

“It’s only until the people who hate fey leave, and the rest accept living aside fairies and phoenixes. My aunt here, made the Raven Gate in the main square of the Capital of Anglia; a magic forest in the biggest city of the Grand West! And all the common people live well from what I’ve seen.” Eathel said with a smile. His sunny aura had begun to comfort and attract Corona. The idea involved her staying away from humans, having fey be safe, and still being able to be a magic healer, and baker, in the woods. The witch in a little cottage of a magic forest. Corona agreed, and offered Eatheltwein a spot in her bed with the bard and fairies. Then gestured at Meriam as well. She considered it, until her eyes met the bard’s; dead eyes. She didn’t trust him.

Meriam took Eathel aside, and warned him to stay away from sketchy offers like that, and they should get home before his uncle realizes he wasn’t becoming literate. Eathel was disappointed; he always wanted to make a pillow fort. Noticing Meriam was becoming short, Eatheltwein said they could tell him he was learning other kingly skills. Meriam argued creepy house, in creepy forest, with a creepy woman, who was asking if they wanted to be the fifth and sixth flower in her vase. Eathel gave up, as he didn’t understand; he was not full grown either. The two of them politely declined Corona’s offer. When she persisted, Eathel gave her his shirt as a distraction, and dashed into the tight twisted vibrant forest. Meriam followed behind, and they started looking for the Fairy Gate to get home.

           Meriam and Eatheltwein started to get trapped in the dense forest. The tree children were stubborn, and they had gone the wrong way. They were lost.

“Can we use our familiars to scout?” Eatheltwein asked.

“Too tight, we might lose them. We need a Mothkin.”

“Those giant fairy moths? that turn into human sized fairies that guide people?”

“I’m not going to ask how you know that, but yes. I don’t know the names of any in this forest, to call for one. By the way, saying a fey’s name, if it has given it too you out of fondness, is how to charm a fey to you. It’s rude to say, or share, a fey’s name; it’s a gift from their parents. Also, never summon them like edge lord Edmond.”

“The Wolf prince?”

“Yes. By the way, if he ever comes to you for peace, say yes, and don’t mention that I said that.”

“This place really got to you aunt Merry…” Eathel mused. He was ensnared in greater bean stalk, which was talking to him in tree euphemisms. Something about him being a treasure of the Grand West. Then, as he was being lifted by the tendrils, shortbread fell out of his pocket. Eatheltwein had taken it in the cabin, as the fairy recommended. Meriam picked them up; they were rum flavoured. She shrugged and put them on a nice plate from the palace, she summoned with chalk. Eathel was now having neon flowers and fruit nuzzled against him by the tree children. Now he was bothered. He was in need of a water closet.

It was a waiting game. They hoped some mothkin, whisp, or nymph, would come and help them for a cookie. Fairy logic is both the best and worst. Eventually the tree children parted way, slowly dropping Eatheltwein, and a night blue mothkin walked forward. She was deep blue and royal navy; wearing a sparkling velvet robe, long glassy hair, and soft eyed wings and antenna.

“The cookie is nice, but I could feel your desperation from across the creek. Sorry I took so long, you guys kept moving away.” She said calmly. “Oh! I remember you! Meriam Craweleoth?”

“Hello, my name is Eatheltwein Cynedom; what is your name?” Eathel said, hoping to get his first fey name. Meriam handed the cookies to the Mothkin, with a smile.

“Celscael. Most mages call me Chelsea. It’s nice to meet you Eatheltwein” Chelsea said, taking a bite and gesturing them to follow. The world will literally bend before a mothkin, between the start and finish of a journey. Meriam and Eatheltwein could see the warp of the trees and path as they followed; they didn’t even say where they were going, and Chelsea still led them to the Fairy Gate.

“Good tidings! Thank you for helping Corona; I can’t wait to make more friends when those lively dancing men move into the forest! This has got to be one of the better places mother has put me.” Chelsea said tenderly. Meriam smiled and waved goodbye, as did Eatheltwein to copy. They ran back to the gate and Shadow Veil without looking behind them, and walked into the square panting.

“Don’t take me on your next quest; I will be in the study becoming a good nobleman. Please Aunt Merry. PLEASE.” Eatheltwein said. He noticed he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and hugged himself in embarrassment. He turned to Meriam; she was ecstatic.

“I am going to spend the next two days writing that all down! That was so Exciting! Odette will love to hear about this!” Meriam giddily chimed. Meriam was never this cheerful. Eathel looked at her blankly, and then he silently walked back to the palace alone.

NEXT--->

<---PREVIOUS

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Jazz bands, food stands, and cherry blossoms

Happy Floral Festival and the Coloratura Jazz Band - two big things that led to one super fun night!

This year, our camp had the honor of hosting the Happy Floral Festival. I still can’t believe that out of all the camps, villages, and islands out there, the committee selected us! For that, I have to thank Isabelle and Tom Nook because I’m pretty sure that we wouldn’t have made the list if it wasn’t for them.

Setting up the festival was an exciting and daunting task. Along with setting up the stands and displays, we have to make arrangements for things like music, vendors, etc. This year, the Coloratura Jazz Band fronted the festival, this being the third time in five years they’ve been a part of the festivities. So having them around to help set things up was super helpful - plus it’s nice to catch up with some familiar faces I haven’t seen in a while.

The newest member of the jazz band is none other than Sapphire. She joined the group a couple months ago as a pianist, which she says she wouldn’t have gotten in without Mabel and Kelly- two old high school friends who have been in the band for a couple years now. 

Being part of something big and fancy like the Coloratura Jazz Band isn’t something that Sapphire aimed for and she confesses that she feels a bit like an outsider compared to other musicians but at the same time it feels right. Sapphire’s the kind of person who just wants to be - not that she doesn’t have any goals or ambitions in mind, but she doesn’t want to feel like she has to compete in order to justify her existence. 

Mabel was the one who suggested that Sapphire audition for the newly vacated position. She, Sapphire, and Kelly were in the high school jazz band back in the day - Mabel on saxophone and mallets, Kelly on flute and percussion, and Sapphire on piano. While Mabel and Kelly continue to pursue music in college on a professional level, Sapphire turned to other interests. She posts piano covers on social media and occasionally plays at the Jazz Lounge Cafe, but other than that, Sapphire’s been busy trying out other things.

Like her roomie Steven, music’s one of those things that Sapphire always finds herself gravitating back to even though it’s not as big or prominent in her life as it used to be. As Steven once said, as much as he enjoys making music and how much it’s shaped his life, he doesn’t want to build his identity solely around that. To do so would be setting up a trap for himself as he's went through a tough time in his life where he couldn’t make music, which led to a cycle of depression and self doubt. And when you’re going through something rough, the last thing you need is an identity crisis. 

Having gone through an experience similar to Steven’s after the death of her best friend, it’s no surprise that Sapphire feels that way about music too. Unlike Steven, Mabel, and Kelly, Sapphire’s not a prolific musician who is looking to challenge herself or show off her chops to a wide audience - she just wants to enjoy playing the piano. She doesn’t feel the need to strive to be on top nor does she wants to prove herself to a bunch of strangers by pretending to vibe with something she’s not really feeling.

With Mabel and later Kelly, Steven, and Spencer suggesting that she give the Coloratura Jazz Band a go, Sapphire decided why not? Truth was she’s been going through a bit of a slump so she needed a pick me up. Getting into a big name jazz band seemed like a long shot for someone like her so she figured that even if she didn’t get in, at least she’d have something to do for a while.

And in an unexpected turn of events, Sapphire was called back for another audition. Then another, and a final one after that. How or why they chose her over several other more qualified musicians is something she’s not gonna question. After all, this is the Coloratura Jazz Band we’re talking about!

Mabel’s been with the band since last year and she’s been loving it. She’s got an interesting story - a childhood that she barely survived, family tragedies, and an incredible will to live. Despite everything she’s been through, Mabel still retains her optimistic and bubbly personality.

Having spent most of her childhood on the edge of death battling leukemia, it’s no wonder why Mabel lives every day like it’s her last. She’s the kind of person who leaves a lasting impression on you, even if you’ve only known her for a short time. Now when I see glitter I immediately associate it with Mabel.

While her future remained uncertain for most of her life, one thing Mabel found as a constant source of happiness was music. Her mom first taught her how to play the guitar, which Mabel picked up quickly. It wasn’t long until Mabel was giving performances at the hospital lounge on the floor she pretty much grew up in. Later she learned how to play the piano, drums, bass, and saxophone.

Tragedy struck when she was eleven and her parents were killed in a car accident. Her family was planning to go on a vacation with the money she received from the Falling Star Foundation when Mabel fell ill. They were planning to visit their summer home, which they haven’t been to in years since Mabel’s diagnosis. After experiencing two relapses, Mabel wanted nothing more than to go to a cabin that took her back to simpler times. With the place being abandoned for a long time, it was in need of fixing up, which was what Mabel wanted to use her Falling Star money for. At Mabel’s insistence, they went on the trip but insisted on only spending one week at the cabin instead of two as planned.

Her parents died on the way back home while her brother hung on for a few more days. Mabel was allowed to stay by her brother’s side until the very end, holding hands from their hospital beds. Losing her family was a devastating blow for Mabel, especially in her weakened state, but she wasn’t going to let that bring her down.

By some miracle, Mabel beat the odds. Through sheer willpower, the memories of her family, and the support of her aunt and uncle who took her in, Mabel hung on. As soon as she was strong enough, Mabel went through an experimental chemo trial that was super risky but paid off in the end. While it brought her time, the risk of another relapse was imminent so she was also being prepped for a bone marrow transplant as soon as a donor came through.

It wouldn’t be for another couple years until they found a compatible donor for Mabel. By then it was the third time Mabel had been told that she was getting the transplant, only for things to fall through at the last minute the first two times. After a long and difficult recovery, the worst was finally behind her.  

Since then, Mabel’s been making the most out of her life. From writing songs, making glitter confetti bombs, taking classes at Seashore Path, putting together cute care packages and sing alongs for pediatric cancer patients, performing in theatre and with the jazz band, taking on karaoke bars by storm, tending to her family’s garden, and spending summers as a counselor at Camp Constellation, things are never dull when Mabel’s around. 

Kelly’s been with the Coloratura for almost three years now, so I guess you can say she’s a professional flautist. She’s been playing since middle school and later picked up percussion as well as guitar, piano, and viola. Along with being section leader in the jazz band - a position she landed earlier this year - Kelly’s also involved with Rosegale Theatre as an intern and Asian Represents! as a volunteer. Along with juggling classes at Hollywood U she runs a channel called sillypanda where she posts flute covers, livestreams, and a day in the life vlogs.

I don’t know how she keeps up with everything, but Kelly manages to make it work. She helped us a lot when we were setting up for the festival, arriving about a day before the rest of the band came. Like I said, hosting the Happy Floral Festival’s a daunting task, and if it wasn’t for Kelly, I wouldn’t know what I was doing half the time. No wonder everyone wants her to help set up events! 

The festival was a lot of fun! The biggest highlights were the Coloratura Jazz Band’s performance and the Happy Bouquet ceremony that followed. Being showered by flower petals while a jazz band plays on underneath a moonlit sky and surrounded by good company - what more can you ask for? The concert and ceremony were a little over an hour and a half, though honestly it felt like it flew by. 

Tonight’s the kind of night where time kinda stretches yet flies by at the same time. Like you’re fully aware that you’re living out a memory that you’ll remember for years to come. It’s the kind of feeling that brings on mixed emotions - joy for feeling like you’re on top of the world, and melancholy for these moments aren’t meant to last. There’s nothing you can really do about it other than just living for the present.

It was nice catching up with friends like Katie and Sapphire as well as getting to know Mabel  and Kelly. From admiring various floral displays to trying all the food stands, it’s no wonder why the Happy Floral Festival is such a big deal! Like how Sapphire can’t believe she’s part of the Coloratura Jazz Band, I find it hard to believe that the camp was selected to host a festival. Even though the festivities have ended, I’m still not over it.

In between the fun moments of hanging out with friends, trying all kinds of foods, and dancing to the jazz band, the quiet moments were just as nice. Aside from the ceremony and concert, I think the biggest highlight for me was taking a moonlit stroll with Daisy Jane and collecting stray flowers carried by the breeze that came our way. 

When I’m with Daisy Jane, it feels like we're the only ones in the world, ready to take on anything that comes our way. It’s one of these moments that make me wish that nights like this would last forever.

[mononijikayu]

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

note: i plan a levi mini series too wooo hooo he's alive in the manga whoooo hooo idc if you think he's dead he's alive to me he's gonna open that bloody tea shop and be a grumpy old grandpa

imagine: the day erwin decides to join the survey corps

SHE HAD NEVER THOUGHT SHE WOULD EVER WORRY ABOUT HIM BUYING FOOD AND HOUSE SUPPLIES. But she was. As she looked at the window, distracting her from the woolish feeling of the scarf she could not help but purse her lips as she sank onto her thoughts. Erwin Smith was never late, arrival and departure combined. He never gets home late, not without telling her.

She sighs.

It has been almost two and a half years since she and Erwin had started to live with one another. After the death of his father, Erwin had nowhere to go. The home he had known all his life had been dug in and out, many books missing from the bookshelves, papers missing from the desks, little trinkets Erwin's father had made disappeared.

(Y/N) (L/N) had been so horrified when they went inside, but if there was any horror or anger or any emotion inin his head, Erwin did not show it but merely started to pick up things here and there, turning to her in order to ask for her to do the same.

They slept in that house that night.

Bottling up whatever feelings they had, laying in the bed that Mr. Smith had once slept on, together.

Erwin however after that day asked if he could live in her house instead. Perhaps that night they spent in Erwin's home was just a needed closer, to make it seem real to him that he had truly lost his father.

She agreed, helping him pack all the things he needed to bring and helping him hide the things he was going to leave behind to ensure them to be safe. She thinks there would be a day when he is truly healed from his loss that he would return to this house. It was after all his father's house and now that he was gone, it had belonged to Erwin as young as they were. She had given Erwin one of the extra rooms to call his own.

There was plenty of room in her house, as her mother had told her father that she would like as many children as possible, had the labour not been hard on her.

Her father returned a few weeks after, his expedition causing a shoulder injury after he saved his commander from dying and becoming Titan dinner.

Her father had been very horrified when they told him of what had happened to Mr. Smith and how powerful people might be involved. It wasn't pity that was in her father's eyes when he told Erwin he could stay here for as long as he wanted, it was genuine sorrow. When he needed Mr. Smith's help, the man freely gave it and took good care of (Y/N) while he had been away on his expeditions.

He could not believe that Mr. Smith would just be killed like that, because of a story that they had no sure knowledge if it was even true or merely a fabricated lie. Erwin had brushed her father off as soon as he started to brood about it. There was no need to worry about it all when it was already done, or at least that was what Erwin said.

Respecting the boy's wishes, Captain (L/N) nodded.

They entered in a comfortable routine living together. They got up before dawn, lighting the lamp to start cleaning the house. Erwin for the most part was just as good at working on with his hands as he was with his bookish knowledge and he made repairs on things that need mending around the house like tables or chairs.

Erwin would start working on mending the garden, taking the ripe fruits and vegtables from where they had grown and started to plant some new ones on the emptied spots.While she dug out the weed from the various specks of the land with gloves on.

Then for a little while they would read and study together as the morning sun rises above the highest peak. She would stop after a while, knowing she had to get breakfast running.

Erwin continued to read but he gave her small glances, almost asking her if she wanted help. Erwin insisted he makes breakfast but she had made him agree once he came to live with her that she would cook breakfast but after she lost to him in a game of chess, Erwin managed to convince her that they take shifts everyday. But of course, that does not help because he still wonders if he could help around even if it was his shift.

She would always pull him to a chair and force him to read.

But the stares continues.

There was a point where she could not stop him and that's when doing laundry. He was the one who takes water to the house from the well while she gathers their clothes and washes it. Of course once and a while, Erwin would join her and help her hang their clothing.

And when they would hunt to gather food, they would have constant competition on who gets the biggest catch for their lunch and dinner. Often times it turns into a real warzone, with Erwin and her chasing each other down or foiling each other's plan. But they always manage to find something. There never was one winner, it always ends in a tie.

Then they would spend the entire day walking around, playing around in the river or going onto town or just climbing up a hill to see the sunset. Before they'd return and sometimes when they would come back, rain would come.

Erwin would start the fire while (Y/N) made tea and they would sit together in silence just to enjoy each other's company. At times, (Y/N) would sew or even play her viola and Erwin would play on a small harp.

It was always good to listen to music when the storms get harsh.

A year into this however, her father was killed saving his new cadets, which left her in the end, without a parent.

She cried a lot during the funeral. Despite the fact that her father was always away, he always made sure that she knows he loves her and that he cares for her. And she was going to miss him very much. Every time he was away, she lamented that he never comes home more often. But now he never was going to come home.

The commander of the Survey Corps had given her his condolences and his thanks that a man of honour and bravery like her father had exist and promised her that his salary would be continuously sent to her as a sort means to keep herself alive.

But what need is money when she lost someone who was dear to her?

In her time of grief, Erwin had been there to comfort her and give her strength. He had made sure she never missed a meal even though she didn't want to eat, he made sure she was not filthy by forcing her to bathe when he could. Once he had to dump water on her head just to get her to move to the bathroom.

She didn't get angry at him for that.

She knew he was taking care of her.

Like he always does.

But as she looked down on the scarf she had been knitting, she wonders if she'll be able to take care him more. If she could ever repay him for the things he has done for her. She doubts she could but she knows she was willing to try to. She was willing to do anything to take care of him.

He was all she had.

There was no one else but him.

That's why....

The sound of the door creaking made her look up, hiding the scarf below her. The sun had nearly set. She had been waiting for him for a while now but it seems he has returned. His growing figure turned to her with his blond hair a little out of place and his blue eyes unreadable but his smile was there as he faced her.

She pursed her lips.

But she smiles immediately.

He was hiding something.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Erwin sheepishly says with his smile. "I had to run all over town to get what you asked me to get. Honestly, we're only two people."

"I already told you," She says, wrapping everything she had been doing into a messy bundle to keep Erwin from seeing what she had been making and quickly hiding it away in her room. She pops her head out from her door. "It's your birthday, Erwin! We are not missing celebrating it."

"But I've told you a million times-"

"It's not fair we celebrate my birthday but not yours."

"Your birthday is much more important-"

"Well your birthday is just as important!" She pouts as she looks at him. "I'm gonna do something for a bit. I'll be right back."

She closes the door.

Erwin sighs.

But he smiles sadly.

She was the only thing he had.

He clenched his chest for a moment.

A little later, she had gotten out and Erwin had already started cooking. She scolded at him at how it was his birthday and there was no need for him to cook but he insisted that it had been his birthday that he'd have the courtesy of being the one preparing the festive meal.

But of course they compromised.

They cooked together for the sake of no arguments.

The meal was enormous, more than what could be had between two young kids but (Y/N) decided that this was an occasion that happens once a year and went all out for the day. There was meat stew and roasted chicken with mash potatoes. She had also baked a tea cake, making sure it was just enough sweetness as Erwin was not that fond of it.

They were full by the end of it and rested together after drinking some lavender tea to help them feel a bit at ease after that feast. Erwin looked at her as she lay up beside him in bed. She had been looking at the window for a while, in awe of the sky.

"Do you wanna go out and see the stars?" Erwin asked her as she looked back to him, smiling with a nod.

"But just wait a moment, I have something for you."

His eyebrows furrowed. "(Y/N), you didn't-"

She was blushing as she beamed brightly at him when she handed him the wrapped item. "I know it probably isn't much and you'll probably be embarrassed to wear it..."

He immediately opened it.

A scarf.

Just like the colour of his eyes.

He looked at her.

"I didn't want you to be cold." She tells him softly. He couldn't stop looking at the scarf. "It's going to be winter very soon. I wanted to keep you warm at the very least."

"Is this what you've been working on for weeks? The one you wouldn't let me see?"

She nodded, giving an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry for not telling you anything, Erwin. I wanted to keep it a surprise. It is your birthday after all."

He felt a lump at his throat.

She was sorry?

No, she should not be sorry.

He should be the one saying sorry.

"I don't deserve this." She was startled by his words as she saw him looking at the scarf with guilt. He seemed in pain as he looked at her. "I don't deserve you."

"Erwin, why would you say such-"

"(Y/N), I'm joining the military." Her eyes widened as he said those words. "They've been recruiting for a few days and I'm sure it will continue for a while but I decided on it. I signed up today...that is why I was truly late."

Tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Y-you're leaving me?"

"I...I don't want to but.."

"But you already said you decided on it!" She responded with sorrow. "Of all days...you..you decided to..."

"I didn't mean for you to feel this way." Erwin admitted but guilt was eating him. "But I need to do this...I...This is the only way."

"The only way?" She furrowed her brows as the tears slowed. "The only way to do what, Erwin?"

Silence overtook them.

"Erwin...you know you can tell me anything."

He looked down on the floor and sighed. "I've feel guilty."

"Guilty? Erwin, you have committed no crime-"

"But isn't it my fault that my father is dead?" He retorts back at her lowly. "Isn't it me who killed my father with my foolishness. I...I was my father's killer, (Y/N) and for the past two years I've been living inside that guilt, wishing I can do something to repent for it. To have some sort of punishment."

"Erwin," Her hands take his face to meet her gaze. "It was not your fault."

"But why does it feel like it is? Why does it feel like I killed him with not only my words but with my own two hands, two hands he had mended and cared for?" He finally meets her gaze. But tears were pouring down from his eyes. "Why does that feeling never go away?"

"Believe me when I say that it is not your fault, Erwin." She says to him softly, wiping away his tears. "I know that he does not blame you wherever he may be now. Your father has loved you and will always love you. That's why there is no way it would be your fault. You didn't know what could have happened."

He does not move.

She sighed, lowering her hands from his face and taking the scarf from his hands and into her own. Then she gently put it behind his neck and started to wrap it around him. His eyes watched as she did.

Her hands were warm.

"If this is what you want to do, then...then I'll go with you." She says with a determined look, his eyes widening at her words. "I'll join the military too."

"(Y/N), You musn't say something you don't mean!" He scolds her but she shook her head.

"I mean it." She confirms to him as she looked at his hand, taking it into her own. She squeezed his hand. "I'm going to go with you. You are all I have, Erwin. I...I don't want to lose you too. And if the only way to be with you is to go to the dark, then Erwin Smith, I will follow you through the dark."

A few weeks later, they were both in the military training camp.

A few weeks later, their lives were forever changed.

A few weeks later however, they were still together.

Even in the dark.

'Hey, Erwin.' Erwin turned his attention to Levi as he was placing his winter coat over his back. 'I have a question.'

'What is it, Levi?' He asked as he firmly placed his winter coat over his arms. 'Is it about the new tea I've bought in?'

'Oh, I already know about that.' Levi retorts. He points to Erwin's long sky blue scarf. It looked a little old, but it looked well cared for by the Section Commander. 'I was going to ask about your scarf. I've never seen you wear any other one. For weeks now, its the same thing.'

'Well I'm not like Hange, Levi.' Erwin pointed out. 'I don't do experiments that wear out or kill my scarves.'

'Just answer the question, will you?' Levi says with a growl as Erwin laughed, lowering his gaze to the scarf.

Erwin allows his fingers to feel the softness of it. Almost just as soft as so many years ago.

'It was a gift by the most important person in my life. Among other things. ' Erwin exclaims with great fondness to him as Levi saw the shine on the blond man's eyes. 'I wouldn't trade it for just any other scarf. This one is special.'

'Alright, stop there you damn sap. I got my answer.' Levi says, stretching out of his chair. 'I'm heading to bed. I presume you're going to go meet with this important person?'

'Of course. But rest properly. Don't take the day off for granted. I presume though you're not getting any rest. She's coming over too, isn't she?' Erwin smiled softly, bidding his friend good night.

Levi glared at him but Erwin laughed. 'Make sure the vice captain is comfortable, Levi.'

'Shut the fuck up, Erwin.'

'So...she's coming by?'

Levi groaned.

Erwin laughed once more. 'I'm going to go now, Levi. She's going to be mad if the food gets cold. Come by some time. She'd love to have you too. Perhaps we'd even invite the vice-captain.'

'Tch. Better prepare your house, eyebrows." Levi retorted back at him as he walked off. 'I'll do a cleaning inspection.'

Erwin had to laugh.

Life was good.

Despite it all.

There was still light in his dark world.

[queen-peck-neck]

Lady Winter Information

I decided to polish up the google doc I had for her. It’s about time I talked about her rather then being vague?! yeah! Also do excuse my english!

Warning Her backstory contains: Death of family members, Abuse, Bullying, Suicide attempts and Drinking 

I thought, i’d put up a warning because most of her back story is quite sad But don’t worry things got better~ :D Information is under read more!

Name: Lady Winter Pentecost/Campbell

Nicknames: 

Vampy [By most people and The Conductor]

Vampire mama [Children often call her this]

The Lady [strangers, hk and bk call her this]

Wifey ,Birdmate [it's like soulmate bit for birds, it's a pun jgnrth],Sweetheart, Saloon babe, Wintey, Dearie ,Rosie cheeks,Siren and His Bonnie Lass [all given by conductor, you'll see why]

Race: Vampire

Age: Old enough to be your mother.

Height: 5’2 [5’8 with heels]

Pronouns: She/her or They/them

Appearance: outfit one: LINK and outfit two: LINK

Occupation: Bartender owner, Housewife

Weapon[s], Items: She carries an umbrella that not only protects her from the sun, it has a rapier style sword in it to protect herself if needed.

Offspring: 6 [4 biological and 2 adopted] 

Backstory:  Lady winter as a child only grew up having a Father and a Twin brother, only occasionally seeing her other relatives. You see the reason why this woman didn't have a mother was because she died when the twins were born. They never had a chance to met her, only hearing about what she was life from their father William and other relatives. William wasn't around to often due to being busy making sure the town wasn't falling to pieces and having to deal with the townsfolk of Shady Hallow but he always does try to make the effort to be there for his children. Winter always saw her father being so stressed, tired and sad all the time yet he hid it with a smile. Even at a young age she knew something was wrong. But besides her family the lass only had one friend outside of the family. His name was conductor or so he liked to be called. These children met at the train station one day while winter was waiting for her father to return home from his business outside of the town. The station wasn't too far from Shady Hallow so it was easy for her to walk there. These kiddos got along pretty quickly and became friends fast. Things were all fine and dandy until child winter woke up one night only to find her own father dead in a pool of his own blood. She didn't want to believe what she was seeing. Her grand-uncle Vlad took her away from the scene. Though she could tell something was up with him. He seemed to calm and contempt for what went on. Not only that he seemed to be smiling a bit when the funeral went on. Speaking of which, the child felt a part of her die, no child should feel like that but she did. She used to be quite adventurous, happy and quite innocent but now she just finds herself empty and sad. Winter wasn't quite herself anymore but she tried her best to keep herself happy. But even that wasn't easy due to being separated from your own twin either. Winter's life got totally turned around, She had to live with her grand-uncle to which she didn't like in the slightest. You see, Vlad made her life a living hell, often treating her as if she was less than dirt. Belittling her emotionally and mentally, gaslighting her as if to make her feel like she was the one to blame. Going to school wasn't much better either. All throughout it she had to deal with the constant bullying from everyone there. Especially from the ringleader of it all, that person being named Viola. The kids were brutal to her there, from making fun of her from losing her family, telling her she wasn't worth being around, and often getting beat up to. Going home wasn't even an option to feel safe either with how her uncle treats her. For years Winter had to deal with this, feeling nothing and miserable. She forgotten what it was like to smile and feel happy. Eventually she up and ran away from all the torment but the world around her wasn't too kind to her either. From the ages 7 onward, she had thoughts of wanting to die, and countless times she tried to make herself disappear. But she still was alive and kept pushing forward no matter how hard it was. Winter kept herself busy by working multiple jobs to keep herself stable and trying to keep herself hidden from her grand uncle. She stayed at a certain childhoods friends house for a while and she's grateful for that. The lass appreciates all that conductor did for her and wanted to pay him back somehow. Eventually she did manage to get a place of her own, it wasn't the best little apartment but it was a roof over her head. When Lady winter became a young adult she still wasn't the happiest person around, she drank and smoked all of her sorrows away. The lass wasn’t very trusting of people either, she would often push people away because she was so scared of getting hurt, feeling vulnerable, feeling weak and pathetic. She was scared of people seeing her the way she is because well can you blame her after all the hurt she went through? Only one person seemed to stay, she wasn’t sure if it was out of pity or if he actually cared. Conductor sure might be prideful and hotheaded. But he does care, and he’s quite stubborn so he isn’t going to quit once he has his mind set on something. Eventually Lady winter started to put down her walls and open herself up more. It was a slow process but she was doing it with some support. Lady winter and Conductor took in a tiny owl named Jade whom was found in the alleyway of Dead Bird Studio. The two decided to take care of the child together. It wasn’t easy being first time parents in a sense but they got through it together and love their little girl. You see at this time Lady winter and Conductor were already in a relationship but weren’t married just yet. Lady winter might’ve tried to push him away but she’s so glad he stayed by her side through thick and thin. No one could ever understand how much he means to her and how grateful she is to have a partner like him. Years go by and Jade is now 7 years old, The couple decided to get married, Lady winter waited for quite a time for conductor to ask her the question. It was a beautiful day, the two got married, and it’s only of the happiest moments in lad winter’s life. She seemed to smile more when she had jade and was together with conductor, she even slowly started to smile before the two got into any sort of relationship. Lady winter has been happier then she was in the past. Sure she has her ups and downs but doesn’t everyone? Now lady winter is working hard at her job and raising her children, she adopted two and the rest are biological. She adores her family so much. And now Lady winter does her best to make the best out of life and always willing to lend a hand to help others! She even meets a certain hat wearing child but that all unfolds in the Chapter that is. Shady Hallow.

Fun facts about Lady winter:

Lady winter has three pet cats and a rabbit. The cats names being Lucky, Pangur Ban and Boo and her Rabbit’s name being Oreo.

Lady winter was actually created way back in 2017 a bit after the game came out, she was originally a nurse. And of course was still with ducty then to.

Since she is married to conductor she took his last name that being Campbell [personal headcanon]

Lady winter sings and has a lovely singing voice to which people love hearing, Conductor calls her his siren for this reason.

Conductor calls her his siren for this reason. On winter’s mother side they are Scottish while her Father's side is of Polish origin. Because of this Lady winter is bilingual in Scotts Gaelic and Polski. [Polish]

Lady winter’s voice is very soft spoken [sorta like morticia addams but not quite]  with a slight scottish accent.

Lady winter actually given conductor little nicknames as well those being Fluffy butt,Cowboy,Hot Stuff,Pumpkin,Sugar,Hubby,Loverboy, and Her Hero.

Lady winter’s family is quite wealthy on her father’s side and she does have a lot of money but she doesn’t spend it that much other than bills and repairs on her bar if needed. But she’ll get people things. She got the money through an inheritance.

Don’t ever make this woman angry because although she can be nice and sweet, she is quite scary when people get her angry. She doesn’t like getting mad. Thankfully she has a lot of patience.

Lady winter can in fact purr like a cat and wiggle her elf like ears like a bat.

Since lady winter is a vampire she can turn people into vamps but she rather not unless the person is willing to go through with giving up their mortal life. She is also strong and quite fast. The only thing she can shape-shift into being a vamp is a tiny bat.

Lady winter’s real hair color is white like her mother’s but she dyes it black.

It took some time but Lady winter and her twin brother Seth did reunite again. Winter cried and so did seth. 

Lady winter has fighting styles inspired by Neoplitain from RWBY and Parasoul from skullgirls!

The vampire lass smells like cloves, roses and a hint of wine

.Lady winter would often tire herself out from working so hard sometimes to the point of getting sick but she does rest when she can

The lass can be sorta smug from time to time just like her husband and is capable of burning people if needed be. 

Lady winter doesn’t have a boss fight for a time piece rather she just breaks down while holding it and apologizing to hat kid. But she does have a boss fight in death wish mode oddly enough.

The lass actually has her own rose garden she takes care of at home!

Speaking of which, she talks to her plants, people might think it’s weird but hey plants are living things to.

[aylawendaucourt]

The Letter Within: Part 6 : End

Sweat trickled down her forehead sliding down the nap of her neck as her violet eyes stared at the stone wall in concentration as she reached inside the large saucer-like bowl, her hands trembling; waiting to grasp something. It shimmered with silvering liquid shifting with it’s mechanical insides whirling along into what seemed an infinite void of aether currents. This technology her father procured from, a source she wasn’t allowed to know, was to guide her to her brother’s soul swimming somewhere beyond, if it was still intact at all. She had tried five times before, and each time coming back with blue waves of this unknown energy that needed to be contained. It had eaten through her gloves, and now she was going in without any protection at all. She wasn’t sure exactly what this energy was, since it didn’t feel...quite like the aether she was used too. So, she placed it inside a lantern container to keep it for study later.

It had been four grueling months in Kugane’s housing district in the dark basement of one of her father’s many vacation houses. Trae was still inside his incubating tube machine, which she knew just about as much as she did with what her father told her.

“Just create the potion, you don’t need further details then that, and make it so it can be taken not by mouth but through here.” he had motioned towards a tube that connected to Trae’s bloodstream, so it had to be strong enough to bring him back, but not strong enough to blow his veins to smithereens.

Her hand was starting to tingle and a soft electrifying burning was starting to fester at the tips of her fingers. How was she suppose to know if she found him? Would Trae's soul attach like a morbel sapling to its mother? Would his soul feel...cold like his death or warm like his radiant smile?

Her hand was starting to feel numb, so she gave a deep sigh of defeat and started to slowly pull her hand back. It felt like slimy tendrils that had woven their way around and inside her and she shivered with disgust as they slid out. It felt as if it didn't want to let go of her.

Don't. Stay. He is waiting. Don't leave. We want you here.

It got easier to extract her arm the closer it got to the surface, and so the urge to dive in was lessened as well. She straightened herself properly inspecting her arm. It was surrounded in a blue fire or smoke-like energy as it had been when she took it out with her glove. This time however it was coming instead from her skin instead of the surface. As if she absorbed some of it; retained it. It was...a dull ache and she needed to release it somehow, and it seemed the longer it stayed within her the more it started to feel as if it was ripping her skin open in small slices. She willed it from her hand and to the lantern, but it was full! Shite...SHITE!

Aylawen was beginning to panic and she tried shaking the energy off to dissipate it, but there was nothing, it clung to her like a pudding onto garbage. Her heart was starting to throb as it started to spread to her elbow and she knelled down clutching her chest tightly. Calm down..calm...figure this out.... she repeated as the blue smokey energy made its way to her shoulder.

A sharp pain pierced her chest and she gasped sharply. Aylawen swayed and fell on her side as her vision darkened. A vision came into view through the darkness.

She knew this chilled feeling and the atmosphere of this stone fortress...it was Falcon’s Nest. And there she was...running headlong towards her one and only crush and dearest childhood friend.

He was keeping her heart...her whole being together in that strong embrace, while she could hear his breathing become labored and his tears fell onto the top of her head. She did not know it at the time, but he knew well before the family got word of Trae what had happened. He had given her a soft kiss of condolence, and then moved her back away from him. The grief, the sorrow, the hopelessness, and the regret of that day she replays over and over of not letting him know how she felt, but he had just lost his best friend as she had lost a brother. The memory blurred as Aylawen walked away from Alexondre...never to see him again.

When she awoke she could see the room bathed in a soft blue glow created from a few hundred blue Gron Mhar carpeting the floor. They were resonating a faint musical bell-like tones. Summer Tree was the translation of the flower of Draviania, a flower that she had seen so many times and it reminded her of Alexondre, of her childhood.

Her whole body felt so weighted as she arose from the magical flower garden. She heard a loud knocking from the basement door and she called with a hoarse voice, “Come in!”

The footsteps were her fathers, and he had a glass globe with him, with that same blue aether energy. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the blanket of flowers. “What....is this?!” he exclaimed rushing down the final steps looking in amazement.

Aylawen explained what she had done and what the outcome was, but didn’t tell him of the memory when she passed out. He told her that was a great discovery, though he did not say of any reason behind why it was so great. He was keeping something from her.

“You need to go further, not just your arm...your whole body needs to go through to the other side, to find Trae.” he muttered feverishly as he walked around the technology pool with a manic expression on his face. He didn’t care for her safety as long as he got Trae back, but...neither did she.

This was the beginning of the end. Once the spherical silver pool was enlarged to fit her whole body after three weeks of these unusual mechanics working on it, she was pushed into it head first. She went in flying through Aether upon Aether path looking for Trae. She had lost track of how long she had been inside the endless void of shifting blue lights and black and white spirals. On her final will of trying to find him she found him. A small wisp of energy stuck in a spiral of white spheres. His voice reached her first before the warmth of his presence did.

“Ayla?!” It was...weak, but it was him. She found him. Her heart soared with relief and her eyes melted into tears. “I found you, brother. Halone, I found you!” Her hands grasped his soul with care as she willed herself back through the length of the Aether tunnel she came through.

When she got back to the living world three months had passed by the clock across the wall was the first thing she saw. Her stomach rolled as she took her first step onto the cold stone floor and feeling as if she was being constricted inside herself; being contained again. Focusing her vision back to Trae’s soul in her hand, she swiftly walked to the tube machine placing it gently into the container designed for it. As soon as he was safety inside she turned around her hair flying in all directions as she walked with purpose towards her father who had been going through the notes on her desk.

Her whole body had soaked up too much of the Aether, and she was radiating it like waves of electrified smoke. “I have returned.” she croaked. Her voice sounded like an echo of herself...as if she needed to come back...needed grounding. He had whorled around with a loud scream as he looked upon her terrified.

She grasped him sharply by the scruff and launched him away from the desk grabbing a few of her potion bottles in a flurry of motions her expression now panic. Have to make this now, before it’s to late, have to retain it a little longer. She knew what to do...she knew the equation to the long conundrum of how to bring a body back from death. Her head felt like it was going to explode, but her body knew what motions to do, how to make it, and how to execute whatever it was running through her mind. She placed it all within another larger cauldron mixing it quickly using the flames to flash boil the contents, then shoving the contents into the bottle container of the tube machine, placing the same energy within the bottle as well. Her expression softened as she saw the machine hum strongly at the new items.

“It is done. Leave us be.” Aylawen walked passed her crumpled father going up the steps in a trance as she headed outside, and towards the sea. It was night, and the air had the smell of spring again. The willow trees that once were bare were swaying full in the ocean breeze. Her father had followed her out watching as she walked further into the ocean his arms stretched forward though afraid to touch her.

“You have to tell me....how you did it! We have to recreate what you just did, viola!” he called after her his voice filled with desperation and anger. Turning around she gave him a blank stare, “I know we will. Until then, father.”

Instead of the sea taking her away to freedom, it was her father who had other plans. He took it away from her once again. A pain seared through her back as her father shot her with a potent paralyzing poison as his guards surrounded her, but they were dressed differently they were head to toe in black with lines of yellow blue glowing striping. Before she could do anything they had a large machine encase her. The faint blue glow of herself and the weak voice of her father were the only things she remembered before it went silent and dark.

[caffinatedcastiel]

First Draft: Comments Welcome

                                           But Love Will Remain                        

Harold was a lucky man to have a caretaker that allowed him to garden.

He cherished every opportunity, as the rich scent of the earth was often a trigger for rare glimpses of the memories of his youth. Whether it was dark with moisture and clung to his fingers in feathered clumps after heavy rain or parched to the point deep cracks webbed across its crusted surface and left his fingertips coated with musty fine silt, every time Harold would shut his eyes a new image would surface.

Within his mind, he would recall memories with varying degrees of clarity, but no matter the quality he considered each a gift. However, like any person, he allowed himself a few favorites.  

Grainy, smudged footage of his mother guiding pudgy inexperienced hands through the basic motions of plant care. Anything could grow with water, sun, and love said a muffled, nearly inaudible voice, sounding as if it was being whispered through fabric.

Laying in an empty field of wildflowers, observing the vast impressive sky with a gentle voice explaining the intricacies of their universe and pointing out constellations. His favorite had been Aquarius, the water bearer. She laughed, and said that was fitting.

Images of a woman in a simple silk dress with stunning grey eyes that radiated kindness. It was blue, and borrowed. The shirt he was wearing itched the back of his neck, but he didn’t care. She had been holding a bouquet of homegrown violets, intertwined with lavender roses and daisies.

These memories, like fragile velveteen blooms, faded in vibrancy and withered into dust far before he was willing to forget. Meant to be admired for their beauty, but never meant to last.

 Despite this, every Sunday, bleary or bright, he would adorn his stiff and shaking hands with hole-riddled work gloves and lower himself to the base of his flowerbed with a grunt. His knees would always protest the process, sending shockwaves of dull pain through his legs, but this never hindered his drive to care for his small assortment of plants. He had accepted that he was no longer capable of constructing vast, impressive landscapes that glowed with every hue imaginable, but he would never neglect the work that he was able to manage. This season, he had elected to have a combination of floral plants as well as some choice vegetables. His caretaker had mentioned bringing a few food bearing plants into the plot so they would have some fresh produce on hand to cut costs and potentially sell at farmer’s markets, which suited Harold nicely. He loved sharing the products of his hobby, which often lead him to have the yard that was the envy of the neighborhood, alive with blooms of varying shades and sizes, so incorporating the new plants to his arraignment while also maintaining the beauty he was known for would be a welcome challenge.

Yes, Harold was a lucky man. However, he was also a blessed man. Only a benevolent deity smiling down upon him could grace a caretaker that would garden with him.

Every Sunday, he would allow himself to shift focus and watch her work besides him for a brief time. Today, he watched her nimble fingers pat the earth around the base of the bright, new violets she had planted. Each plant was handled with the same undiluted care and attention, and she moved with a natural grace despite the tremoring of her fingers. He noted that she had removed her wedding ring for the work. Perhaps she was fearful of losing it to the soil. He could recall such an incident happening to someone he knew, but found it difficult to quite remember to whom. Nonetheless, it such a rarity to see her without it that he could clearly see its place indented on her second finger. As he watched, the sun passed through the thin overcast above and lit her plaited hair with silver fire. A shy smile teased his lips, and he finally broke his gaze, turning back to the tomatoes he had been checking for rot.

He could not describe the pure sensation of serenity that settled within his core whenever he had her company during their slow progress through the plot. The work was always silent, with minimal conversation. The only sounds that intruded on the silence were the scraping of trowels and the shuffling of fabric as they moved from one area to the next. It was so simple, yet the time always left Harold with a feeling of familiarity that warmed his spirit with a full-bodied happiness. He often wondered how it was that they were so in sync without the need for vocal communication, but never could settle on a stable conclusion. It was almost as if their souls were in tune, a pair of old lovers that danced fluidly to an unheard melody that resonated within. In his head hers was a violet color, a frustrating color stuck in the realm of almost purple, but also almost blue. Yet it was perfect. Frustrating, hard to remember, but perfect.

Despite their lack of conversation during their work, Harold felt as if he was close to his caretaker. He knew that they had been living together for years. How many years he had forgotten, but at this point it was arbitrary. What was important was that he knew he could trust her to be there, no matter the hour of the day, and that he enjoyed her company. There were also times where her two children would visit, and they would all talk over tea and the scent of fresh cut flowers. He could see tenderness in their eyes masking glimmers of sorrow, which puzzled him, but never felt the need to question it. However, the mood was always lighter when they two brought their children along as well. They had taken to calling him “Grandpap,” which touched his heart with overwhelming joy. He had always wanted to have children and grandchildren, but living vicariously through his caretaker was enough to satisfy his desire now that he was too far in life to pursue the goal himself.

 A raindrop startled Harold, disrupting his train of thought. He squinted up at the muted gray sky in confused curiosity before another splattered on a fern green leaf before him. His caretaker shrieked in both shock and delighted surprise as rain began to cascade from the sky almost instantly afterwards, as if an invisible barrier in the heavens had burst. Harold felt the dirt beneath his knees begin to shift as it began to mix with the moisture, resulting in the calves of his jeans retaining a layer of mud as he clambered to his feet. He glanced down at the stains, and gave his caretaker a tentative look before cocking an amused eyebrow. She erupted into laughter, and he was quick to follow, reveling in the sudden burst of shared care-free youthfulness.

“Dance with me!” he said hoarsely, voice rough after the hour of silence, but light with glee and childlike energy.

“What? Now? Are you being serious?” she laughed, pushing away wet strands of hair that now clung to her face. The corners of her mouth creased as a half-smile teased her lips, and amusement flickered to life in the gentle grey of her irises.  

“Yes I’m serious. When is the last time someone has danced with you in the rain, if at all? We’re old! We have nothing to lose!” He laughed, stepping closer. The stiffness in his hip and knee were forgotten in the moment, the near constant ache fading into the background as the rain intensified the scents surrounding them: the fresh crispness of the roses, the musky richness of the soil and sidewalks, and even the gentle fragrance of the fabric softener that clung to their wet clothing. However, it was the floating softness of violets that stood out to Harold, clearing his muddled mind. He gazed at his caretaker with a new air of clarity, taking one of her hands in his, grazing his calloused thumb over the back of her nimble fingers with a slow, feather-soft touch, willing his memory to take in this moment for his next gardening venture.

“Viola…can I please have this dance?”

She gazed at him, her lips parting partially as her eyes widened as they met his. The half-smile turned into a wavering grin, and had it not been raining Harold would have dared to call the moisture in the corners of her eyes the beginning of tears. She stepped forwards and without a word her free hand settled on his shoulder as his took position at her waist.

In the middle of the small garden, they danced with only the soft beating of the rain against the ground as their melody.  

                                                       ***

“Allow me to grab you a towel, my dear.” Harold rasped as they stepped through the doorway. The prolonged time spent in the rain had left him with a stutter whittling at his vocal cords, and he coughed to displace the buildup forming in his throat. The cough triggered his diaphragm to start a coughing fit, and he gripped his cane for support throughout the onslaught. The worn wood fit with neat familiarity in his hand, as if a manufacturer rather than time had shaped it to his palm.

He felt the warmth of a gentle hand settle on his back, muted by the damp cotton of his shirt. It began rubbing small circles between his shoulder blades with a balance of firmness and care that could only come from experience in aid. He relaxed into the touch as the attack subsided, drawing comfort and gratitude from the soothing action.

“We shouldn’t have been out that long Harold. That was careless,” his caretaker sighed, continuing the comforting action even now that the coughing had ceased.

“Yes, but it was fun. I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” Harold rasped, grazing his knuckles against his lip, feeling the chapped skin catch against the friction of the action. He smacked his lips, finding his mouth to be too dry despite the thick coating of spit that now coated his tongue now that the frog in his throat had been dislodged.

“Now dear, you can’t manage that if your heart stops beating. I swear you’re going to be the death of me. I’ll be the first woman to die of worry. They’ll have to make that into a constellation. The woman of worry. Sollicitus uxorem.” She teased.

Harold opened his mouth to answer, but another fit of coughs spasmed through his form. The arms around his shoulders tensed, and the hand at his back grew more firm in its circular actions. He was able to use the touch to ground himself, leaning into it for comfort as his chest and throat began to burn as if the air being expelled from his lungs was sandpaper rubbing the sensitive lining raw.

“Did you take your medication today Harold?” asked his caretaker. There were undertones of both genuine concern and professional calmness layered within her tone as she led Harold to the linen closet. Before he could process the question, she had draped a lavender scented towel over his shoulders, and began rubbing warmth into his arms and shoulders.

“Yes ... I think I did. After the kids came over?” He replied, reaching into the closet to procure another towel. He turned, unfolding the towel before handing it over to her. Her silver hair was stained storm grey by the moisture, and the lines deepened in the corners of her eyes at his answer.

“Nobody came to visit today dear. The kids haven’t come home for three weeks now.” She sighed, wrapping the towel around her dripping frame.

“That…doesn’t sound right. Then what were we doing before we went outside?” Harold squinted his eyes, exploring the memories of the last few hours, sure that she was mistaken. His thoughts were muddled, like smeared paint on a ruined canvas. Smudged details marred the entirety of the picture, leaving the viewer clueless to what the painter had intended.

His caretaker led him to the kitchen, pulling his prescription tray from the top of the stainless steel refrigerator. She sighed at the blur of multi-colored pills still visible though the translucent compartment embossed with a fading blue S. She swiftly poured him a glass a tap water, emptying the contents of the first compartment into his palm.

“Have I ever told you that I am a lucky man to have you as my caretaker?” Harold said with a note of cheer in his voice. As he washed the tablets down with water, he noticed her shoulders slump, and her grey eyes shift towards the wedding band she had left on the scuffed dining table beside a vase of wilted, expired violets.

“Yes. You do,” she began, voice clear despite the emotion clogging her throat, clinging to the words that passed through. Her final words were barely audible, as if an afterthought. “Every day. You always have.”

[ginasneesby]

Fences

Based on a stage play written by August Wilson and adapted by him before his death, directed by Denzel Washington, starring him and Viola Davis, who had performed in the play in 2010 winning the best revival of a play and the best actor and actress Tony award. With that kind of history, and cast you know it's going to be good.

I switched it on and you can tell straight away it's adapted from a stage show, the character of Troy, played by Denzel just keeps talking. Normally in films, they do a bit of dialogue but you have background and sweeping shots etc to tell you more about these people and their neighbourhood. Pretty much all of this film is set in 3 places, the street out the front of the house, the back garden and the kitchen inside. To follow an African American family in the 1950's, you can expect a certain amount of hardship and racism, but although mentioned a lot by the characters when discussing previous interactions, it isn't at the for front of the story. This gives it a refreshing edge, to focus more on the working class element (although of course race played a massive part in the reason these men couldn't get better work etc).

Rose, played by Viola Davis is brilliant, she is troy's second wife, and you learn how they came to be together and how she has helped make a home and a life with this man for 18 years. Troy is very bitter about not getting his shot at baseball, he was better than most in the big leagues, but being black wasn't ever going to get his shot. This then translates to his son, who is being looked at by football scouts and has a chance, but Troy shuts that down believing it to be foolish. But it does seem to be partially due to jealousy, he worked all day every day to bring home money for the house and food etc and his boy is going to take his dream of being a pro sportsman.

The character of Troy is a difficult one, I enjoyed Denzel's interpretation which gave him an edge of charm and playfulness; however, I found him really unlikeable. Everything is about him, how hard he works, how much he does for his family, how it's his house, his roof etc. His son asks him at one point 'how come you never liked me?' And his response.... 'where does it say I've got to like you? It's my job to take care of you.' He seems like the type of guy that would happily do things for others (he does care for his brother who got a head injury in the war) but there would always be a price, he would always remind you of that one time he helped you out.

*spoilers*

He then shatters his family by being unfaithful and even fathering a child while trying to defend himself saying 'I've been standing still, I don't feel like myself, this wasn't the life I wanted'. Viola Davis has a wonderful presence in the house and in the family, and although is a 1950's housewife, she runs that household. He gives her his pay every week and she sorts where it goes. Her performance is so powerful, but understated, the way she reacts to the news of the baby gave me goosebumps! Well deserved oscar!! Her monologue about making a life with him and how she was always there if he needed to feel more like himself is really well written, I love the phrase 'I was standing there with you.' He may feel like he could have had another life but so did she and she forgot that for him, to be with him.

The other characters are great too but mostly just help to define the main 2 in their roles in the house and the society, their son is well played by Jovan Adepo (another black British actor who has gone to Hollywood for work! Come on uk film industry, can we please make more films for black actors!) The story comes to a climax a few years later, all the characters come together for Troys funeral, and despite his infidelity, his hardness to his children and his bitterness they all still feel they need to come back and pay their respects. After all this man did work damn hard and gave them everything, even if he never let them forget it.

[iblackgirlanonymousblog]

                                                       ROSE

August Wilson, the American playwright who created a series of acclaimed plays, is the voice behind the Academy Award Winning character discussed in this post. Fences, written by Wilson was adapted to film by none other than the inimitable Denzel Washington.  August Wilson wrote characters who we would consider the “every man.” They were not people who lived grand lives, but folks who were just like the rest of us. Rose, played by the amazing Viola Davis, embodied the essence of every black woman during that time. Rose depicted what conditioning, regarding being in love and what it means to be married, can do to a young girl in her womanhood. With that being said, this will contain spoilers. If you have not seen the film or read the play, please do not continue along with this post. If you don’t mind spoilers, join me as we delve into, Rose.

Fences is essentially the story of Troy, played by Denzel Washington, coming to terms with how his life turned out. Troy was once a player in the Negro Leagues but was too old to play and ended up working as a garbage man. Rose married Troy and gave birth to a son named Cory. Cory, is a high school football player who has scouts looking to recruit him. Rose asks Troy to build a fence for the house and Troy drags his feet on doing it. Troy soon begins to cheat on his wife, Rose, with a younger woman. The younger woman becomes pregnant and dies during childbirth. Leaving Troy with an eighteen-year-old son and an infant daughter. While all of this unfolds, Troy builds the fence Rose asked for. The fence symbolized Troy attempting to keep control of his world. He seemed to be keeping what he thought was his, from moving on without him. This is an extremely condensed version of the film but important to note in the discussion. Rose has been married to Troy for almost twenty years. In that time, she has shared every high and every low. Rose embodies a black 1950’s housewife. Respectful of her husband, a nurturing mother to her son, god-fearing and dutiful. We hardly see Rose sway from the strong black woman stereotype film and life have forced upon us. However, when Troy destroys their sons dreams of a college education via a sports scholarship, she protects him viciously. When Troy walks into the kitchen to tell Rose he is to be a father again, we see Rose breakdown.

There is this idea that women, especially black women, aren’t allowed to break. This idea that no matter what life throws at women they are to take it in stride. Never let them see you sweat. Throw love into the equation and women are supposed exist in a state of happiness and complacency. Girls turn into women who were constantly taught to stand by their man. That the man is the provider and has the final say. To bend to his will even if you do not fully agree with his viewpoint. Women are taught that love should consume them. When Rose and Troy are arguing after she hears the news of his new baby, Troy makes it about himself. Rose’s response to this is one of the most powerful monologues in the film:

“I been standing with you! I been right here with you, Troy. I got a life too. I gave eighteen years of my life to stand in the same spot with you. Don’t you think I ever wanted other things? Don’t you think I had dreams and hopes? What about my life? What about me? Don’t you think it ever crossed my mind to want to know other men? That I wanted to lay up somewhere and forget about my responsibilities? That I wanted someone to make me laugh so I could feel good…I took all my feelings, my wants and needs, my dreams and I buried them inside you…”

Marriage, in its original form, was not about love. Contrary to what we are taught to believe, marriage was/is a social contract between two people that joins property and includes legal protections. Her marriage to Troy came with legal protections. Her lack of education and not working also meant she had nowhere to go. Rose ended up raising Troy’s daughter as her own. Rose told Troy that she planted a seed in him, even though she knew it wouldn’t bloom. I saw and heard a great deal of men talk about how Rose was “a real one” for continuing to stay with Troy through all of that. That she embodied “real love” and that women these days no longer do that. Here’s the thing, Rose knew the garden inside Troy would never grow. She gave up on her flowers a long time ago. And love? Love no longer lived in that home the moment Troy confessed his adultery. Troy detailed, to his wife, the mother of his first-born son, how happy his mistress made him feel. Tory did not care about Rose’s feelings and he never intended to stop loving his mistress. When she died, Troy never even thought about how it would hurt his wife when he brought the baby home. He also knew Rose had no other choice than to stay where she was. He knew she wouldn’t turn her back on a baby. His feelings were always more important than hers. Eighteen years is a great deal of time. Rose had given all she had to Troy and took the pain because there was nothing else. She was conditioned to take the pain. This was her life and there was no other decision could be made.

Women are taught that whatever goes wrong they are somehow at fault. If their husband cheats on them, it becomes their fault. If their husband hits them, they are at fault. Women are expected to bend to the will of men but also be the stereotype of a perfect woman. At some point, the world needs to figure out how to teach their sons to not be shit and be better men. I’m positive if Rose could have left, she would have. To any young girl, teenage girl or grown woman out there reading this, you are never obligated to stay. No man is worth your peace of mind. You can love someone to death but you don’t have to let that love kill you; figuratively or literally.

Post by, S.A.