#the old one could not compete
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Fixing pants with overly-tight waistband
So, I accidentally found some warm winter pants in a box under my bed! I was extremely happy to find them because I've been out in freezing temperatures in jeans, my legs getting red and irritated from the cold. However, these pants I found, there's something interesting about them; they've got their waistband completely cut off.
I have no memory of cutting that off, but I'm 100% sure it was me, because I know what my line of thinking was. The waistband was too tight, and the pants were high-waisted, so I thought, hey, I just need to cut off this tight part and then the pants will be wearable. And then, after I cut if off, I found out, that no, you can't just cut off the piece of pants that keeps them on your body. They slide off. So after that bold move I just abandoned them in a box. I had no confidence that I could fix them, but this has changed! I am not any better at sewing than I was back then, but my confidence is through the roof, I believe I can not only fix this but make them the most comfortable pair of pants I own.
I rummaged around to find some materials I could use for a new waistband, and I was purposefully picking materials that are very stretchy, soft and warm. I want a soft stretchy waistband! I ended up being specifically drawn to these 2 black sleeves; they're from a sweater, super warm and stretchy, and also durable. I also found an elastic that I ripped out of some sweatpants in the past because it was too tight.
I decided to make the elastic longer by adding a piece of cotton fabric in the middle, and I sewed that together, I feel like it doesn't matter if there's some normal cloth in there. It won't be visible anyway.Now, to make those sleeves into a waistband. I figured out I could do it without cutting them into pieces of fabric; they're already sewn into tubes. So instead I cut them to be the same length as my elastic, and sewed them together into one long tube (I made a mistake at first and flipped one sleeve on the wrong side. But I redid it and now they're good).
Now my long tube can hold the elastic in it! But then I decided, wait, I would prefer if I just folded those tubes into a new, doubly thicker tube, because I really want as many warm layers as possible on my hips (don't wanna get cold). So the tube is folded, and elastic is placed in.
So now I needed to sew these sleeves into a new tube, with the elastic inside, and I figured, hey, I could just sew them onto the pants at the same time, so I don't have to sew that part multiple times.
I lined up the tube with the pants, and you can see I very haphazardly just sewed them on with a normal running stitch; I was mostly doing that to try it out, and see how it would look like all put together. I then sewed the elastic together in a circle, and closed the tubes together as well. The waistband at this point was shorter in length than the cut off hem of the pants, so I was lightly scrunching the pants while sewing, to match the length, knowing once I put them on this will not be visible and even out. Then I tried them on, and while it looked okay, my running stitch came apart, and the waistband separated!
You can see here how half of the waistband is off. I was so focused on scrunching the pants I forgot to make the stitch adjusted to the stretchy fabric.
I know sewing machines have a special stitch that is used on stretchy fabric so the stitch itself is stretchy, but I never found out how to do something like that by hand, and I was at that point, in a room with no internet so I wasn't gonna find out. Instead, I invented my own little stitch that would do a good-enough job. In the second picture you can see how every few stitches, there's thread just going around the edge, that was my trick. This way, when I'm stretching the waistband, instead of the thread breaking, it will pull from these areas where I've wrapped it around, because it's a bit more loose in there and can be tightened without breaking. I've also sewn it in 4 sections, so its not one continuous thread going through the same waistband.
Once I did that, I was mostly done! Here's the pants mended and how they look on me.
I've converted them into sweatpant-like garment, which, yes, good. But! I was wrong about one thing. That elastic, even though I added some length on it, was still too tight, making me feel uncomfortable and tight. So. I opened up the waistband again. Pulled the elastic out. Stitched it back, and tried it on. And decided to keep it like that. This fix didn't need an elastic, I was just paranoid that my new waistband wouldn't hold without one – but it was stretchy and firm enough to hold without any issues! They look just the same as with the elastic in them. I've since worn them outside and they're great!
This entire fix maybe took an hour and now I have comfortable pants to wear all winter. 10/10 recommend trying it out.
Also this is not an official way how to fix a waistband, I've done it before by just adding extra fabric to the waistband that was already there, and it's a lot less work, however... this works too. If you've.. chaotically cut the whole waistband off. Completely salvageable.
#mending#fixing clothing#sewing#clothing#diy#new waistband#fixing insane choices from the past#but this is much more comfortable solution#than just adding more fabric into a tight waistband#this is a new and better and warmer waistband#the old one could not compete#making garments comfortable#making pants comfortable#say no to female suffering of tight clothing#tailor that stuff so its comfy instead
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Milwaukee Admirals beat the Chicago Wolves 2-1 on 26th October, & that seems to be the first night Blanks got the A
#nick blankenburg#he emerges from being in the centre of that huddle and goes off to grab a puck to keep#also that car behind him in the walk-up is not there one picture before so now my brain has decided it's his#cos i feel like mr minimalist LV bag w signing bonus would get an audi literally do not know if this is at all affordable but leasing i gue#anyway!#they recalled del gazio before opening night and nick seems to have been given the A at some stage between the 20-26 Oct#Milwaukee Admirals#put nothing out anywhere about it so it is a mystery worthy of their huge lake#but basically i am very very glad they realised quickly what a competent driven bestest most handsome boy he is#don't at me about the pixilation i tried to crop so you could see n better and it was so much worse so we're sticking with Instagram size#oh! very important!!#the cunty initials on the cuff#and the fact the jckt is a tiny bit large but heartbreakingly not large enough to be one of moyles#unless its like an old one from first or second year#but would Nick von audi Blankenburg put on a polyester blend jacket from whatever the US equivalent of Tarocash circa 2019 ?#maybe if he was having complicated feelings about getting his best friend pregnant over the summer break
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the amount of love, admiration and respect I hold for imane khelif
#she is the first female boxer to represent algeria at the olympics#she’s loved sports and boxing since she was six years old#she is exceptionally skilled at what she does#she won a gold medal at the istanbul bosphorus 2021 international boxing tournament#she won a gold medal at the 2021 strandja memorial tournament#she was a finalist at the at the 2022 iba women's world boxing championships#later that year she won MORE gold medals at the gold medals at the mediterranean games and the african amateur boxing championships#and then of course she won gold again in the 2024 olympics#this woman is insane#and then someone had to throw a tantrum bc she was so strong and it ‘wasn’t fair’#and she’s like ok well I’m sorry I assumed you could also box??#so then right after her win she’s faced with intense online abuse and misinformation#over her eligibility to compete in the women's category cos how dare a woman be that strong and she could be trans right 🙄#which it should have been no one’s business if she was but ofc she has to prove she’s cis to ppl INCLUDING celebrities and world leaders.#and so now she’s filing a lawsuit for defamation against the majority of these dicks including j k rowling and elon musk#who accused her of abusing other women#imane khelif#what a fucking icon I adore her#olympics#2024 paris olympics#I would actually die for her I’m not kidding#mine
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Batman vs Robin #4
Wait would never let that (Damian breaking Nezha's will and succeeding in something) happen because he's scared of teenagers, Batman
#n oseriously the energy that kingdom come and bvr both have#is like... 'old man yells at cloud'?#like terrified of a future generation wanking off the past one#the only difference is kingdom come was at least competently written enough we could see flaws in the old generation and#them grapple for their victory#whereas i think if waid ever wrote batman failing at something here he'd have a stroke#fade reads dc comics#dc comics#batman vs robin
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Blanche's grandma's place is the only place she felt consistently loved in... no I'm fine. I'm fine
#the IMPLICATIONS#i completely forgot about that line#room 7 makes me lose my mind in general but ohhh my god#OH my god#i'm#yeah no i'm fine#i have so many feelings about this i can't even put them into words#idk but she speaks about that place with so so much nostalgia#we see blanche in a way we've never seen her with anyone from her past#she didn't look even remotely as happy or peaceful (or nostalgic!) when she visited her childhood home#but when she's in her grandma's old home? she calls it her family home#she talks about it like *that's* the place she grew up in#because apparently it was the only place she was always sure she could be loved#so i guess it might not have been the only place she grew up in#but it sure sounds like it was the one place she was allowed to be herself in and still be loved unconditionally#without competing for anyone's attention#ohh blanche ;-;#i teared up when she held that windchime and smiled right before finally leaving that house#that was *such* a powerful moment ;-;#anyway#uh#i guess i'll just go and stare at a wall or something now#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#adding on to this to say that maybe it really was the only place she grew up in#because to grow up i'd say you need an environment where you can at least somewhat freely explore your identity#without feeling a constant need to be the best/cutest/prettiest sister to get your parents' love and approval#it sounds like blanche grew older in her childhood home#and she got the chance to *grow up* with her grandma#(i knoooow i'm reading too much into this but i can't stop thinking about this episode)
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no ok we finished episode 2 what they have done to katara is unforgivable. they have completed zapped every ounce of her personality away. why. why. look how they massacred my girl
#i haven't even GOTTEN to azula mai and ty lee i'm scared#why the hell they're even IN season 1 is beyond me but whatever#i cannot fucking believe the amount of exposition dumping. did a 10 year old write this#this actually would be a very good lesson for young beginner writers actually#if someone's like 'i don't really get the show don't tell rule' show them this. then show them the cartoon. THAT is show don't tell#all. they. do. is. TELL. it's INSANE#zuko is the best actor at least but that's kind of like winning a game of chess against a broom#it's statistically impossible that they could only find ONE actor who can deliver a line competently. it's impossible#i delivered better lines pretending to earth bend w my sister at age 7#i'm so confused about katara though.#like yeah the 'sokka can't be sexist that's problematic (that was the entire point)' is stupid#but that is at least AN explanation for why he's different. why on earth would you make katara like that#i can't even make an ember island players joke. at least their katara showed emotion???#really fun hate watch to do w other avatar fans 10/10 recommend#when gran gran started saying the intro and it was so awkward jdskfjdsfldsjfslkfjlkfs i was LOSING IT
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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.
Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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the sheer volume of titans tower aus are the most baffling thing to me because fic fandom treats it like this Core Event that his entire life is oriented around… they always treat tim like he’s a newbie who just picked up a bo staff five minutes ago when that couldn’t be further from the truth. he’s existed for over a decade at that point. he’s had over a hundred issues of a solo, not even touching his appearances anywhere else. in universe, he’s been robin for at least 3-4 years. he had AN ENTIRE OTHER TEAM who’s series ran for three years and had comics wide crossovers twice. he was enlisted in a war. he’s time traveled. he’s been to apocalips. he’s not a little baby who’s in too deep that kid’s been to space.
#tim drake#sorry i can’t get over the space thing. the real badge of superherodom in my opinion is GOING TO FUCKING SPACE#that’s not normal!!!! not everyone gets to do that!!!! even mkst superheroes don’t do that!!! much less MULTIPLE TIMES#he coowned a entire ass spaceship for a while even. imagine talking to a fourteen year old who had been an astronaut. do you see where im#coming from.#this is not be being supportive of the equally frustrating other end of the spectrum where they make him ridiculously hyper competent#and flanderized in the exact opposite direction. the whole point of tim is that he is (allegedly) The Normal One who CHOSE to become a hero#bc he sincerely believed he could help people and that they deserved it. the tragic backstorying came later. he is just a guy.#however he is the FURTHEST from a baby like half of TTAU fic writes him as. ESPECIALLY by the time the actual damn event rolls around#go read teen titans 2003 no. 29 i swear the world is so much more interesting than fanfic makes you believe#text✨#dc stuff#batfam#not that that issue is particularly good. i’m just saying. the way fanon treats it as a Keystone Event is WEIRD#< draft clearing jay here. i was weirdly mad about this but i stand by it#posting time i guess
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Yesterday my religion teacher asked me if I thought it was okay, morally, to be a homemaker, and it's making me wonder what kind of people he's had the misfortune of conversing with lately
#i feel like that's the one of the most unproblematic ways you could choose to spend your life#if that's what you want then why not????#old feminism: we would like to have basic human rights :)#modern feminism: join the workforce and if you aren't the equivalent of a peak male then you're just a sub-par woman#(because woman is inherently subpar and you have to be basically a man to be considered competent)#(but we dont actually SAY that bc that would be misogyny)#guys if your idea of feminism is “women can and should be men too” i think you need to get back to the drawing board#anyway this is why im not a feminist bc modern feminism sucks#im a feminist in the sense that i think everyone should have equal opportunities and that's it#(and that's equal OPPORTUNITIES. women can not always fulfill the tasks and duties men can and that is NORMAL and NOT MISOGYNY)#if a woman CAN then go for it. but men and women are inherently different and that is going to result in differing abilities a lot of the t#time#anyway i was not meaning to go off like this but Words and Opinions happened XD
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I swear to God, modern music production is so FLAT that it physically hurts to listen to. There's no spatial depth to it, no air, no sense of this music actually being performed in a real three-dimensional space. Please can we bring back breath and air and space in music production?
#i've been trying to translate this feeling into words for months and i know i still haven't succeeded#this post is a weak attempt at saying what i mean. but it doesn't achieve that goal very well#i just... i don't have any better words right now#does anyone else know what i mean?#when there's a beat of silence in the middle of a song these days#the silence sounds just as 'dead' as if the track had ended.#silence can be audible and almost tangible... you know?#it can have a certain dimensionality and realness to it#but all of that gets edited out of most music nowadays.#and another thing: i don't know if it's over-mastering or what#but the sound is often almost as dead as the silence#like a butterfly trapped flat under glass#every sound comes across as being exactly the same physical distance from my ears#the sounds are all lined up jostling each other elbow to elbow and competing for the listener's attention#instead of being spread out all over the room - each one coming from a different place#i remember when you'd have two speakers; if one of them was broken you could sometimes only hear some of the instruments#because the others would normally have come through the broken speaker only.#SPACE. distance. physicality. ugh i could helplessly repeat these words all day and still not be able to express myself#don't mind the ranting of a grumpy old codger i guess#about music#tag rant#cosmo gyres#personal#text#my apologies - this post is extra autistic#my neurodivergency really comes out in the way i experience music#musicblogging
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ok well i drove 50 min in moderately heavy traffic to get to this place only to discover that they accidentally sent my security credential to the washington dc office instead of the washington state office 🫠 then had to drive 35 min back (less traffic, at least?). kind of an annoying way to waste a morning but whatever i listened to music and thought about my story idea in traffic so at least there’s that. unfortunately this means i will have to go back sometime in the near future once they get it shipped over.
i spent a couple hours this morning prepping for the campus visit but then started overwhelming myself a little bit so i think i’m gonna gently dial that back for today and return to it later. i honestly think i could do most of the visit tomorrow and it would be just fine. the only parts that feel like big question marks are the job talk i have to give to faculty (on a prompt that will not be provided until a week or so beforehand) and an “informal workshop or something like that” i have to lead with students (they haven’t settled the details yet). but like, both of those will be fine! i’m just raring to get started on the prep work yknow and not having clear parameters means i will do the classic jes thing of going deeper and deeper into various rabbitholes until someone stops me lol.
to try to give myself some parameters:
in general, i want to approach the research/prep work less as “i must do this otherwise i won’t be prepared!!! what if someone grills me on the research on this hyper-specific topic!!!!” and more as “would doing this research be interesting to me and useful to my work as a teacher even if i weren’t prepping for an interview? if so, proceed.”
buzzwords and specific citations don’t matter! what matters is my ability to clearly communicate my big picture values as an educator and administrator, the concrete things i’ve done to enact those values in my past work, and the vision i have for building on that work in the future in this specific institutional context. if i start feeling overwhelmed or like i am beginning to flounder, i return to my core values, my concrete actions, and my vision. i trust that in an interview or job talk context i’ll be able to draw on specific examples to illustrate those things or use my deeper knowledge to answer trickier questions if they arise.
to keep myself focused on the high-level / big-picture philosophy i want to convey, i think it might be useful to actually make a list of core values or guiding beliefs - so that i have a VERY clear sense of what i’m trying to communicate and a very concrete document to refer back to when i’m feeling a little at sea. i think that should probably be the first thing i do and the main focus of this week, before i let myself delve any further into researching random little topics that might come up in some hypothetical interview situation lol.
i want to remember something macky said, which is that most people would prefer to talk and work with someone who’s curious about the world they’re entering rather than hyper-focused on explaining how awesome they are and how much stuff they’ve done in the past. so i don’t want to let my little insecurities about whether i’m Really Qualified For This Job lead me to knowledge-dump or talk endlessly about myself to try to “prove” something. i want to go into this experience with the calm, grounded belief that this is work i am well equipped to do, so that i can keep the campus visit itself focused on engaging with students/faculty, asking lots of thoughtful questions about the school’s work and priorities, and just in general showing that i can be a good colleague/teammate who people would enjoy working with.
#it's funny i think the insecurity i'm feeling is solely because of the job i'm in right now#where i'm treated as such a junior staff person and am not given tasks of any importance and am micromanaged like i can't do anything#but like if i cast my mind back to this time last year#i was directing a program! i was balancing competing priorities and managing a bunch of complex projects at once and making decisions about#curriculum and strategic direction and so on#and people were listening to me as an expert and not questioning my authority or competence at all#it's just interesting to notice that you know#like how being treated a certain way can make you feel a certain way even if you're like#objectively this is an inaccurate assessment of my abilities#i joke with liz that i have two personas now#one is 'jessica' which is what everyone calls me at work because for some reason it's what they put on all my official stuff#who is extremely junior and a little cringing and is micromanaged constantly on exceedingly simple tasks#and one is the real me who is like... a skilled and competent adult professional#so i just gotta exorcise jessica#gotta shake her off yknow#and reconnect with my actual self#this role would be a promotion to a higher level of responsibility! that's true!#but also at my old job i was often itching for more work and more projects and a further reach in terms of what i could do#and our renewal proposal was a massively expanded version of the original grant that i would've been in charge of planning and directing#so i was ready! i AM ready!#i just had to do this other job for a while to fund my move and the exorbitant cost of trying to have a baby as a lesbian lol
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All I got from the Barbie movie is that Barbie and ken are bi for bi
#barbie#biseuxal#bi for bi#ken#ken is doing a lot more than just beaching with the other kens#I mean like come on#have you not seen a single old Barbie movie she had girlfriend’s in every one of them#also#also the kens tm literally kissed Ken on the cheek#barbie was not in love with ken because all the other Barbies tm were to sexy#ken could have#never#compete with the other Barbies tm#barbie movie spoilers
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Being friends with me must be exhausting fr. Imagine waking up and seeing that your dumbest friend sent you a whole ass rant starting with “SOS” and the salient points are there’s a guy with swoopy hair at her work and she doesn’t know how to deal
#he’s so fine though i don’t know how i’m supposed to cope#i don’t know if it’s a good thing that he and i won’t be on the same shift for like another two weeks#on the one hand i don’t have to look at him so i might get some fucking work done; but on the other i am going to get resensitised#to his presence. like i really think if i was around him day in and day out i’d be able to stop internally freaking out about how pretty#he is and just DEAL. but if i don’t see him for two weeks i’m going to forget how pretty he is#so then on the 16th i’m just going to be found dead because i cannot process him and his stupid hair#he’s so like… god i can’t. i can’t!#i hate this for me lmao. i never wanted a work crush!! i applied there specifically because the average age of staff and volunteers#is approximately 50. the youngest employee is 19 and he stands out. i was like ‘i can just shoot the shit with the birdwatching dudes in the#break room and have a normal time’ but the universe was like ‘surprise bitch! here is a 25 year old who looks like he was custom built to be#your ideal man. and also he’s funny and kind’#bro when i tell you i absconded from the nature walk so i wouldn’t have to see him being competent with binoculars#i found an esoteric viewing point and hid there for as long as i could get away with because i didn’t trust myself with proximity#what do i dooooo. do i cry. do i scream. do i throw up. do i deliberately schedule opposite shifts to him so our paths never cross#do i schedule the same shifts and hope he feels the same way about me and wants to make out in the stockroom. what do i DO. when will i win#personal
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I have hosted three small boys for a weekend-long sleepover and have completely forgotten what silence is like.
Quiet? Never heard of her.
Peace? A distant memory.
At least the one stopped being afraid of skinwalkers after the first night.
#personal#bilbobawks#parenting#kids#skinwalker#that shit is still cracking me up#what seven year old kid in this year of 2024 is afraid of SKINWALKERS???#good thing I have skinwalker wards up#or so I told him#and he slept just fine#soooooo#win#if I posted pictures of my family on here#I would share the picture of my husband reading all three boys stories at bedtime#it was the cutest fucking shit#he does all the voices and sound effects#and the one boy never gets story time#and he was FASCINATED by it#my husband is by far the best story time adult in our group of friends#my nephew stays with us a lot and whenever he spends the weekend with us#he goes home and gets upset with his parents storytelling#my brother and sister in law are like#could you tone it down a bit so we can compete???#and my husband is like#step up your storytelling game#😂😂😂#he sets a high standard#which is good because half my sons friends don’t have dads or have shitty ones
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me: hm i've been noticing gluten affects me worse than i thought
me: *eats gluten bc i haven't fully switched to primarily gf food yet*
me: *feels worse than usual*
me: woah o.0 i did not see that coming,,,,,,,,,,,,,
#i got some more gf foods tho#and safe foods w less gluten than my other safe foods#did u know there is canned chicken noodle soup except instead of chicken there is RICE :O#i don't like many soups so i didn't notice at first#but i might have a new safe food here soon#i got a few to try#and#i got veggie straws as my designated gf easy reach snack#it might be better than my designated gluten snack👀#ALSO AND#i got THREE count 'em THREE types of gf chicken nuggets in the freezer rn#one is the old one i'm almost out of#and the store didn't have those so i got two of my other fave gf chicken nuggets and one has hidden veggies in it#they're all my baby grills#ALSO ALSO#I GOT#KING ARTHURS GLUTEN FREE FLOUR AND LACTOSE FREE CHOCO CHIPS#i make cookies like. twice a week so i will try making gf ones#i know i don't mind the texture of gf cookies and cakes so it should still be safe#and i got gf dry pasta but i remember those are kinda funky so we'll see#i coulda gotten rice noodles but idk i didnt wanna this time. i'll save that for asian store trips#im very very excited for the rice soup bc if i like it then a lot of gf safe foods are gonna get replaced i feel it in my bones#you can't compete with chicken rice and clear broth#it's tasty AND won't piss off my stomach in any way#no gluten no lactose just vibes god bless peace and love on planet earth#and it's fast and easy#there's some protein carbs and veggies#AND high sodium for my pots#pizza rolls could never✋✋✋✋✋✋#handmadeorganicpost
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back in highschool we used to have random cuddle puddles with all the girls at art club for some reason but I'm ngl I kinda really miss that rn
oh to have an edible kick in while I'm playing with my friends hair while she infodumps to me about homestuck
it was a simpler time. fuck I feel old
...also how tf did I not figure out why so many of my female friends were bi or lesbians... cmon get ur shit together, me!!
(jk tho that would've been impossible cuz dad tried to abuse the gay out of me so much i almost died on several occasions </3 I genuinely would've rather been raped by awful men on repeat than for him to ever harm a girl I loved ever again)
#stoner lesbian#stoner lesbian moment#i miss those times#no transition just girls being “friends”#i want to be held#or hold#either is fine#substance posting#my sexuality was stolen from me and i want it back so bad#i want the time stolen from me back#i want to have old fond memories of loving and being loved by a women even if we ultimately didnt work out#GOD i fucking want to have sex with another woman#this one girl literally took me on a date to meet her parents and they bought me a fancy meal like#WHY DIDNT I ASK HER HOW SHE FELT ABOUT MEEEEEEE#stupid fucking homophobic psychotic ass father#we were sitting on her bed together#even just smoothly slipping my hand on top of hers to hold it wouldve sufficed#but God i couldnt deal with the guilt just looking at how wonderful and beautiful she was#how i looked at her with such adoration#i could never ever expose her to the depraved son of a bitchboy that was my father#she deserved so much better#and her girlfriends were always so pretty#how could i even compete?#i hope shes doing well and has a hot and nice girlfriend nowadays#i loved listening to her talk about her favorite ships#id always end up adopting them#i dont think she knows how much she got me onto owari no seraph#life better b kind to her#tw: abuse talk#tw: SA mention
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