#the obsession with also equating toys to wanting a man is never ending

[sapphicdesiis]

more “gay” pages posting complete homophobic garbage claiming bisexual women are lesbians

[apocalypticgargoyle]

okay okay could i request some nsfw with professor!techno giving a little extra praise to one of his students and asking to see them after class (presumably a bad grade of sort, but thats most certainty not the case). I love your writing by the way !! could i be <3 anon?? thank you so muchhh !!!! :DD

˚⸙͎۪۫⋆ welcome <3 anon ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

im going fucking feral for this idea, thank you for gifting it to me. i- my mind went to dark academia!techno and i lost it. if y'all know me irl, you don't after this. also this techno fanart by EtecteraArt, if you don't have clear skin yet.

𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒. ⚚ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫!𝐓𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐨

pairing: professor!technoblade x fm!reader

± warnings: nsfw (minors dni), pure filth, professor/student, slight degradation, domination, minimal dialogue

It started out as shameless flirting for you. You’d wear the most revealing thing your closet held, crossing your legs and leaning over to pick up a pencil just so you could show him the curvature of your body. You’d tie your hair up or pull it away from your neck when you answered one of his questions, basking in the slight smirk painting his face as his eyes surveyed your movements. You chewed on the ends of your pens and wore a shade of lipstick you knew would draw in his attention. You were positive your fellow lecture members cast their eyes downward at you, believing he was giving you special treatment just because you toyed with him. 

You made sure to show him you knew what you were talking about and actively studying his assignments and works published by him. You were, in a word, hopelessly obsessed with Techno. This obsession led to his appraisal in class when you could fully grasp a more advanced concept he had posed. You didn’t even care about the other girls’ glared burning into your shoulder from behind you as he favored you over them. 

One day in particular, you came to class a bit earlier with a coffee for him in your hand. You stopped before entering, pressing your back against the outside wall beside the door as you heard a feminine voice cooing to him. You smugly enjoyed the tone of his voice as he countered their attempts to hit on him with a grace only a man like him could muster. He thanked the woman for coming in and told her that his office hours were open if she needed actual help on an assignment. You swiped your thumb across your bottom lip before smearing the hue of your lipstick against the white plastic lid of the coffee cup. It was barely noticeable, something only he would take note of. 

The woman exited the room, brushing your shoulder as she went past you. The two of you shared a look that could equate to two territorial wolves in a dispute. The only leverage you had was that he never shot you down, in fact, you noticed he usually enjoyed your under-the-collar comments. As you turned into the room, you noticed him lean back in his chair, running his fingers into his short pink hair and shutting his eyes slightly with a sigh. 

You chewed the corner of your cheek as you approached the lecture desk, his eyes prying open with a small smile as he spotted you. “Good morning, Professor,” you hummed, setting the coffee in front of him. He sent you a hint of a grateful look as students began to file into the room. You turned on your heel and walked to find your seat, swaying your hips slightly, only because you knew he was staring after you. 

As you settled in, you watched Techno bring the cup towards his mouth before his eyes darted to the edge of the lid. With the ghost of a smirk swirling into his expression, he looked up to make direct eye contact with you before pressing his lips to the spot and drinking from the cup. Your breath hitched, heat pulsing through your body at the slight gesture from him. You studied him as he swallowed, letting his tongue dart out to wet his lips as if he were further savoring the mild taste of you from the lid; something an outsider wouldn’t have noticed. 

You clenched your thighs together as you thought about his rejection of other girl’s advances while now he was practically eye-fucking you from across the lecture hall. 

That lecture had been an hour and a half of agony. Your tongue wettened as he twisted a pen in his hand absent-mindedly as he lectured on Eros, his eyes surveying your reactions as he’d quietly roll the pen in his fingers. You weren’t sure how he could have such an effect on you without even touching you. You knew the other girls were squirming in their seats as he sat on the edge of his desk, leaning his elbows on his knees as he answered questions towards the end. 

All you wanted to do was get out of the lecture hall and do what you always did after his class: shower in cold water and plan your next phase of attack. 

Techno had other plans. 

He called out your name at the end of class, meeting your eyes as he instructed you to meet him for office hours. You hear someone whine next to you, nearly making you laugh as you agreed. 

And that’s how you found yourself, pulling the door shut to his office behind you. He dug into a folder on his desk, setting a copy of your latest essay in front of him. Your eyes raked down his arms as he pulled his gold-rimmed glasses on top of his head and leaned over his desk, muscle tightening against the rolled sleeves of his shirt. “Come take a look at this,” he stated. Your eyes darted to the red pen marks, his handwriting only scripting praise on the first page. You knew you aced that essay before you’d even turned it into him. 

You smirked to yourself, dropping your bag beside one of his client chairs and mimicking his stance, planting your hands in the space between his. The size of him dwarfed you, making your mind race vulgarly. This was always how it was, you invading his personal space and him teasing you to go further. “What am I looking at, Professor?” You quizzed sheepishly, feigning innocence. 

You leaned your weight on one of your hands, the fingers of the other tracing closer to his large hand. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you just barely close enough to him that you could feel his breath. Your cheeks flushed, goosebumps spreading over your body. “You think I can’t see what you’re doing?” He needled, voice dropping an octave to send heat straight to your core. 

You gulped, practically tasting him he was so close to you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Professor. But I could learn,” you avowed; your words barely above a whisper. For a moment, you truly believed he would kiss you, his breath cascading over your face with sweet hints of mint and the coffee you’d bought him. 

His lips barely brushed against yours before he pulled away, sending fire to burn in your chest and your knees to turn to jelly. He stood back, his eyes dancing with a mocking ego, knowing he had you on a leash. He lowered into his seat, pressing his back against the leather of his chair, fingers tugging at his collar to undo a few buttons as he looked at your shocked and submissive frame. He chuckled darkly as he eyed you. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. You’re just a child,” he teased. 

You had half a mind to dig into your bag and sign over your ID to prove you were the opposite of his beratement. Instead, you let your breathing shallow, slowly walking around his desk. He tilted his head at you, watching you intently as you placed your hand on the back of his chair, and pushing him away from his desk. As you lowered to your knees, you allowed that hand to travel the length of his body. As your knees settled against the cold linoleum in front of him, you raked your nails down his thighs, making him chuckle softly, a sardonic expression flickering across his face. 

You sharpened your eye contact, your fingers nearly hooking around his belt loops. “Teach me then, Professor. Use me,” you practically begged, making Techno smirk, his hand moving to rest in the crook of your neck while the other supported his head. 

His fingers felt coarse against your skin, the feeling of him finally touching you nearly was enough to send you over the edge. You turned your head, pressing your lips to the inside of his wrist. “So needy. Like a lost puppy vying for my attention,” he mocked, gaze dancing from your lips to your eyes. “What would your boyfriend think of you like this? On your knees in front of a grown man.” His voice dripped with lust and restraint, yet he was completely calm and utterly in control. 

His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, almost mimicking your gesture from earlier as if he’d pictured your actions with his coffee lid. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Professor. And if I did, I doubt he would taste as good as you,” you muttered, silently signing over your soul to him. 

You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he debated what to do with you first. He pressed his thumb into your mouth, flattening your tongue with his finger pad. Your lips instantly closed around him, looking up at him with doe eyes. “Stop talking, pet,” he grumbled, the rest of his fingers angling your face closer to him and he leaned towards you. “If you’re going to beg like a toy, I’ll treat you like a toy,” he promised, making your heart flutter. 

He pulled his thumb from your mouth, only to wrap his hands around your throat, bringing your lips against his roughly. You moaned at the taste of him, wanting to swim against his tongue and give him your dying breath. He groaned into your mouth, kneading your bottom lip with his teeth. 

Techno tugged you to your feet, wrapping his hands around your thighs before pushing you on top of his desk. His hand slipped into your shirt, palming your breast while his other gripped at the flesh of your ass, pulling you closer to him as he ground his hips against yours. You tugged your hands through his soft hair, tugging slightly and savoring the moans he poured into your mouth. You wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to alleviate whatever distance there was between the two of you. 

Your fingers moved to skim down his toned body, unzipping his pants and palming his cock outside of his boxers. His lips moved to dig his teeth into your shoulder, muffling his groans of praise as he ground against your hand. You panted at the loss of his lips on yours, digging your nose into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply as he moaned your name. You were convinced you were trapped in one of your many daydreams involving him, but with each nip of his teeth sending a flush of pleasure to your core, you were reminded that he was in fact, about to ruin you. 

Techno pulled you off the desk, spinning you in his hold and bending you over the hardwood. You bit back a smirk as you heard him undo the rest of his zipper and discard his belt behind you. The anticipation of him made your knees shake as your hot breath drew clouds of moisture on his desk. His fingers pushed your skirt further up your hips, blunt nails dragging along the skin of your legs before gripping your hips. You felt him grind himself against your entrance, your mind already blurring with pleasure. He kicked your feet further apart. “God, I've wanted to do this for so long," he nearly growled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade before pushing himself into you. 

You moan, your body adjusting around his length, begging him for more. His hands gripped your hips, driving himself deeper into you, beginning an animalistic pace. You groaned out his name, one of his hands holding tightly onto your side to give himself more leverage. Your mind blurred, mouth hanging open slightly as your cheek was pressed firmly against the wood of his desk. 

Each of his thrusts sent a wave of pleasure coursing through your veins, as his deep, breathy moans hissed into your ear like a sinful symphony. His hand moved to thread his fingers through yours, giving you some kind of anchor as his large frame wreaked havoc on your body. You whimpered out moans of arousal with each of his movements. 

His teeth grazed against your neck again, dragging himself deeper into you. You picked your head up, reaching out one of your hands to grip the edge of the desk, hearing him chuckle behind you. His hand snaked around you to wrap around your neck, bringing you up a bit further as he pressed his lips to one of your flushed cheeks, probably basking in the beads of sweat dotting your hairline from his campaign. 

"Mark me," you begged. "I'm yours," you moaned, rolling your hips back against him. The satisfied moan that slithered from his lips sent goosebumps spreading against your skin. 

He dug his teeth into you, finger tightening around your neck and you knew the brushes he left would be enough of a sultry reminder to keep you wet for a week. 

He pulled you upward, pulling out of you only to put you back on his desk, pushing himself into you as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. His lips melded against yours again, stealing your muttering of his name and replacing it with his hungry moans. 

You ground your hips into him, wrapping around him again as his lips moved to your neck, breath cold against the cold spots from his teeth previously and the thin sheen of sweat coating your skin. With the new angle and his hands digging into your back, your legs were beginning to shake, the tension he'd been binding was becoming too much to hold off. 

His hand tightened around your throat as if encouraging you to finish. He pulled your irritated lips towards him again, wanting to taste you as you went over the edge. 

After that day, you stopped dressing so provocatively. You could wear a turtleneck and padded jeans and you knew he'd still be looking. He knew what you looked like under those clothes: marked up from his teeth, quivering only for him. No longer was there shameless flirting, only glances that told you to wait for him after class. 

He was always hungry for you; whether it be in his car in a vacant lot, in his office to test his chair's range of movement, or in the bathroom of some random club you probably didn't have the qualifications to get into without him. It didn't matter, because he knew that you were his. 

You liked watching the other girls throw themselves at him like you had, mainly because he'd always praise you later with your lips around his cock. You were his favorite, his star student. In his eyes, you didn't hold a candle to the rest of them. 

[drluciengaudet]

Chemical Reactions

Despite Lucien’s record intellect he had a tendency to be highly shortsighted at times. The castle provided far more distractions than he’d expected meaning he was behind on a number of projects he was working for himself and a few that were part of a contract for the company he’d founded. He’d been at it’s helm for a number of years before he returned to R&D. Of course he was given more leeway than any other for his projects, but Lucien was a man of results often setting impossible expectations that required herculean efforts to meet. He was not exempt from these expectations which resulted in more shortsighted decisions to make up for the first. 

He’d had his own serum to reduce his need for rest, despite being undead vampires still needed something akin to sleep. Of course even the few hours he was resting felt wasted and unneeded. He was well acquainted with his body and as a medical professional felt he knew what was best for himself. With everything he was working on he didn’t want to take the time to modify his own serum when he’d heard an old friend had something already created that could aide him so he’d visited Lovell du Bellay who provided the second piece of the equation, which required a third from the compounding side effects or Lucien would be killing more slaves than Raiden with the insatiable blood lust, building paranoia, and his inability to regulate his mood. 

It had been near two weeks since the doctor slept constantly working the entire time when Syd and/or Raiden hadn’t broken in to bother him. In that time he’d finished two new viruses and six altered bacteria strains. Six of the total were for different programs he’d taken on and two for his personal collection. He’d also finished three articles for the number of disclosable discoveries he’d made that had him featured in a few choice scientific journals. Lastly he’d been working on another medication to assist with his anxieties and fears. Lucien usually didn’t test things on himself, but there wasn’t any other vampires in the area that suffered the same phobias as he did. He’d not even found a slave that suffered a quarter of the phobias he did.

Lucien had thought himself smarter this time around as he wasn’t going to a party and per his calculations it shouldn’t have near the same side effects with alcohol. In his sleep deprived state he’d focused on rectifying the issue with alcohol that it didn’t even occur to him to there were a number of different drugs in him, two to keep him awake he staggered, one to keep his body for seizing up, and then one to sedate his blood lust that he’d taken his last dose of, which was less than what as required to keep it fully in check as the require level had gone up rather quickly once he spilled into his second week. He needed the blood of a stag to make it. Thanks to Raiden and Syd he’s lost the rest of his sample and there was no such creature at or around the castle he knew of. He knew not sleeping would be temporary and that the effects would compound the longer he went, but just needed another week or two. Understanding well what the results would be if he continued beyond that. 

Obsessing over his next move Lucien found he was staring at the wall of specimens rather than in the microscope he was meant to. Lovell circling his mind again and again. Knowing if any, he would have an alternative fix for subduing the raging blood lust that was barely being contained currently. He sat back in his chair glancing at his notes. He still had at least an hour, per his calculations, until the anxiety medication kicked in. He could make it to Lovell’s office and back in that amount of time. Grabbing a bottle of blood wine he headed to visit said doctor figuring he had to drink to test the interaction regardless and it might butter up said doctor if he at all was keen on the fact the medication he’d given him Lucien was actually using, which he’d lied to Lovell about not wanting to deal with any unnecessary concern. 

He was to the office in seconds letting himself in ignoring reception as he moved into the back where the beds and Lovell’s office were figuring he’d be in one of the two places. Lucien was right, he was, but not in the position the French vampire assumed. The smell in the room was almost sweet and pulling at the baser lizard brain of the master. It also didn’t help the test medication he took that was meant to take an hour to kick in was already altering the balance in his amped up mind. Fangs slipped out his eyes darkening as he stalked to the metal bed Lovell was laying on. The varcolac raising to his elbows finally getting curious enough to see who’d entered uninvited. If he spoke Lucien wasn’t listening coming to the end of the bed. Lucien finally speaking when the doctor made a move to get up. 

“Don’t.” Lucien said sternly. “Stay as you are Lovell.” Lucien using his colleague’s first name, which he never did unless Lovell specifically asked and still was prone to call him Dr. du Bellay. Lucien took the jacket and vest off of his custom three piece setting them to the side before he glided onto the metal slab. Climbing over Lovell coming to settle atop him slipping himself between his legs. Lovell looked completely perplexed on what the hell was going on. Lucien found the look rather enticing as Lovell was on a whole to him currently. 

“Mon désir pour toi (my desire for you)...” Lucien spoke in his native tongue not able to think clear enough to use translate as he brought their faces closer letting his lips brush Lovell’s then move down his jaw. “De te goûter(to taste you)...” His hips rolled against the good doctor’s letting him know, in case he hadn’t made it clear, exactly what he was looking for. His lips trailing over the shell of his ear, tongue toying with the lobe before he husked the last against it. “D'être en toi (to be inside you)...” Words punctuated by his fang piercing the lobe of the other vampires ear, he licking at the beads of blood that resulted from the bite moving to the varcolac’s neck. “Lovell.” He purred the name against his skin.    

 @varcolax

[lovemesomesurveys]

[found at: eightfortysix]

Who are you? My name is Stephanie.

What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? -I’ve been distant and withdrawn these past few years, but I’m just a mess and wrapped up in my own head and the shit I’m dealing with and haven’t been able to really be there for anyone. It’s not that I don’t care. -I get in very moody and irritable moods. -I’m always tired and feel drained.

Where do you want to be in 5 years? I don’t know.

Are you more child-like or childish? I think I’m still a child at heart. I also feel like one when I get in my moody moods and cry over the most ridiculous things.

What is the last thing you said out loud? “Goodnight.”

How do you handle a rainy day? I don’t do anything different unless I leave the house, in which case I’d just dress differently for the weather. 

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a teacher.

Are you more of a giver or a taker? I feel like I’ve been more of a taker these past few years. 

Have you ever been given a second chance? Yes.

Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? I think I do for the most part. 

What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? The accident that made me a paraplegic. 

Who have you hugged today? I haven’t hugged anyone today so far.

If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by learning, what would they be? I’d be fluent in Spanish, an amazing pianist, and something useful that I could use to be successful in life. 

What 3 things do you want to do before you die? Get my shit together, do something worthwhile with my life, and travel. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? Uhhh.

Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? I’ve had mine saved.

What was the last thing you made with your own hands? I’m not crafty.

What was your favorite toy as a child? I was obsessed with Barbies.

What is your favorite thing to do outside? The only outdoor activity I enjoy is spending time at the beach.

How do you feel when you see a rainbow? It’s always pretty cool because it’s a rarity for me.

Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? Certain things I’ve dreamt have happened, but not like aspiration dreams or anything serious.

What one thing have you done that most people haven't? Hmm. I can’t think of anything cool. I just keep thinking of negative things.

Are you a patient person? No.

What holiday should exist but doesn't? I don’t know.

What's the best joke you ever heard? I don’t know, man.

Is your hair natural or dyed? I dye it red, but it’s been almost a year so my natural hair color has outgrown quiteee a bit.

What is under your bed right now? Nothing.

If you drive do you frequently speed? I don’t drive.

What is the world's best song to dance to? There’s a ton of great, upbeat, perfect dance songs.

What song was on the last time you danced with someone? I haven’t danced with anyone.

Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? I watch stuff from both, but I mean Disney will always hold a special place. 

Would you consider yourself to be romantic? I haven’t had a chance to really find out.

If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? We’d be swept away.

If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? I wanna live with Santa. haha.

Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? I mean, I love music but I don’t listen to it as much as I used to. I love having favorite shows and movies to binge watch and obsess over. Ideally, I’d like to just keep both, though. Thanks.

What do you think makes someone a hero? People have their own ideas about what makes someone a hero.

What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Hmm. Can it be something Disney?

Name one thing that turns your stomach. The smell of old food.

What was the last thing you paid for? Bills. Bleh.

Get anything good in the mail recently? No. It’s died down since Christmas has ended.

Tell me some of your greatest fears. I’ve done this so many times in surveys; I don’t feel like it right now.

What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I haven’t worn anything eccentric. I keep it pretty simple.

Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? Ew, noooo.

You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items... A tent, food, my phone. 

List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. I love my family, which includes my doggo. They’re all my number 1.

If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself...what would you wish for? The end of the pandemic, no one would have to ever go hungry, and no more violence.

How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in? I would never do that.

Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? I’ve been on the local news before. It was after my accident.

Have you ever named an individual part of your body? No.

Is there anyone you trust completely? Yes.

Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? Yes. 

Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? I’d prefer an indoor pool instead of a jacuzzi. 

Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? No.

Would you consider yourself to be wise? No.

Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? No. That would be difficult for me to do anyway.

Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? I really don’t want to be either of those things.

Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? Not a love letter per se, but I’ve written someone a long message expressing exactly how I feel about them and the hurt I’ve felt and pretty much just laid everything out on the table.

Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? There aren’t concerts going on.

About how many emails do you get a day? Like 20-30ish.

Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? Uh, I would never, ever hitchhike. 

Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? I would have a road trip with just people I know.

If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down? I don’t know. I just don’t feel a relationship is a good idea for me right now. It’s not my where my focus is. It’s not where my heart is.

Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time? It’s crossed my mind at times.

What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? I’m excited for new Marvel movies, the new Halloween movie, and the new Scream movie. I look forward to seeing what else is coming out. 

What's on your key chain besides keys? I actually only have one key, but I have a ton of keychains. 

How do you feel about endangered species? It’s sad.

What was the last CD you bought? It’s been several years since I last bought a CD, so I don’t recall.

Would you be willing to go hang gliding? Noooo.

Have you ever taken a lock of someone else's hair? Uh, no.

Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair? My mom has a lock of mine from when I had my first haircut as a baby.

If you had a locket what would you put inside? A photo of my family.

What is the difference (if any) between madness and brilliance? That makes me think of Jack Sparrow quote, “it’s remarkable how often these two traits coincide.”

Write any random sentence here Nah.

Say the sentence you wrote out loud. Did anybody answer?

If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, who would it call? I don’t think there’s a redial button, but the last person I called was my mom.

Miracle on 34th street: which is better the original or remake? I’ve actually never seen either one.

Have you ever been in a parade? No.

Do you turn the base up all the way in your car? The volume is at a reasonable level. Do you care if what you do annoys others? I mean, yes. Unless it was like, “it annoys me how much you drink coffee”, in which case I wouldn’t give a shit haha. You get the idea.

What keeps you from being happy? Depression.

Can you talk for one hour without using the word 'like'? *shrug* Maybe.

Why is it that a fly can't bird but a bird can fly? Because a bird is an animal and not an action. 

What websites are addictive to you? Tumblr and YouTube.

Who do you love so much that you would clean live maggots out of their garb? I love my family more than anything, but... klsjfksjdflk I’d have to get someone else to do that I’m sorry. D:

Have you filled out an organ donor card? No.

How many oxymorons can you think of? Pretty ugly. I don’t feel like thinking of more.

How many years old is your diary/livejournal/myspace? I’ve had this survey Tumblr since 2014.

Would you ever wear vinyl pants? No.

What was the last thing that you printed out? I don’t even remember, it’s been a long time.

What are you dependent on? My family.

What do you look forward to each day? My first cup of coffee.

What did you think of the Columbine shootings? It was horrific.

What takes your breath away? Hm.

Have you done anything recently that you regret? Yes.

Will you ever do it again? I’m very stubborn.

In your opinion what gives people depth and character? Experiences?

What’s the name of your favorite band? Linkin Park.

Do you have an account on neopets.com? Aw, I did when I was a kid. I loved neopets.

Who is the next person you will hug? The only person I really hug is my mom. 

Where was your last vacation to? Disneyland almost a year ago.

Where was your last car ride to? The doctor.

Where was your last bus ride to? I used to take it sometimes when I was in college.

Where did you last walk to? It’s been yearsss.

What is the worst band in the universe? I don’t know.

What is the next book you want to read? I’m about to start a new one called, “Anything For You” by Marissa Finch.

What gives you a peaceful feeling? Being at the beach watching and listening to the ocean waves crash in and out.

Do you ever stay up late watching infomercials? No, at night my TV is either on The Hallmark Channel, TVLand, or CMT. I remember back when I was a kid and the only thing on late at night was informercials, which really sucked when I was up late because I was sick or just couldn’t sleep. I’m glad there’s actual stuff on now on a lot of channels. But there’s also other options if there weren’t, like YouTube or a streaming services. I wish I had those as a kid.

Are you a light sleeper? Yes.

Are you a toys-R-us kid? “I don’t wanna grow up, cause I’m a Toys R Us kid.”

Are you part of the mile high club? No.

Would you rather be part cat, or part scorpion, and why? I’ll definitely go with the cat. 

When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? I’m always last to fall asleep.

What is your usual breakfast? If I have breakfast it’s usually scrambled eggs with shredded cheese and spinach with guacamole on the side (guac and eggs are really good together). Lately, I’ve been really into breakfast sandwiches. I like to have either a croissant, english muffin, or sourdough bread with eggs, cheese, avocado, pesto, and cream cheese and 10/10 highly recommend. I also like eggs smothered with country gravy.

How quickly are you willing to take drugs to numb pain? It’s much worse to sit around and wait while it gets worse cause then the medicine takes even longer to kick in.

Have you ever had your car towed? I don’t have a car of my own.

Have you ever used Kool-Aid to dye your hair? No, but I remember a couple of my cousins did that when they were kids.

Would you rather be naked and famous or dressed and non-famous? Dressed and non-famous. This was an easy choice.

What band or singer do you believe started rock and roll? I don’t know.

If you had a large black vase what would you put in it? Flowers?

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? City.

Would you ever participate in a 'sock hop'? No.

What’s your age? I’m 31.

What’s your hair color? I think this question has been in every survey I’ve done the past few days.

What’s your eye color? This one too.

[la-vita-in-arancione]

Killer Queen: Chapter 7 - Bohemian Rhapsody

Summary:  Arabella Ruth White is the fifth member of the Marauders. And life at Hogwarts certainly isn’t easy. Especially when you have alcohol, relationships, unhealthy music obsessions, a fake stage persona, weird ass friends with weird ass problems and actual school all thrown into the equation. (This story is also on Wattpad and AO3 of the same name. I will always update on Wattpad first.)

A/N: Sorry I didn’t post last week even though I said I would. Half term ended up being busier than planned. We are now up to date with the Watttpad version of this story so that’s something! Enjoy!

Warning(s): swearing, mention of babies because that might be triggering for some people

Word Count: 2.6k+

Taglist: @missqueeniewrites

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I don't often receive owl mail. I just don't. No idea why. My darling bastards of siblings can never be bothered to write to me, claiming that if they send me loads of letters then we'll have nothing to talk about when I get home. Which is fair enough. Even if it does seem a bit rude. But oh well. What are you going to do?

The only good thing about it, however, was that when I did get owl mail, it was always about something important. Some of my favourite letters have been from Rhea telling me that she never intended to speak to Luke ever again, only for her to reverse this statement only one day later; one from Mum telling me that the lady who owned the chippy on the pier had had a baby; and one from Luke telling me that said baby had shat on the carpet of his bedroom and that he now had to share with Rhea.

So, going by this logic, every letter I will ever get while at Hogwarts is guaranteed to be either important, amusing or both. This means it's worth my time. I reminded myself of this when I acquired my first letter of the year on a misty Friday morning which just so happened to be Halloween. As it was a Friday, I was naturally exhausted after the long week we had had (our OWLs must have been catching up with me). This was why I felt the need to remind myself that I absolutely had to read this letter. It could remodel my entire life my life for all I knew. The untidy bordering on illegible handwriting on the envelope clearly told me it was from Mum. I ripped it open and not one but two things were inside: a short letter from Mum and a small parcel which was the unmistakable size and shape of a single vinyl record.

Hello Ruth,

I actually apparated to just outside the school gates to owl this to you as it couldn't wait any longer. This morning Queen released a new single and you'll find it enclosed in the envelope. It's called Bohemian Rhapsody and the B-side is called I'm In Love With My Car. God knows what inspires them to make these songs. Steve from the record shop down the road says both songs are superb and that you'll like them if not love them. No news as to when the album is coming yet.

I hope everything's been going alright at school. How is the "project" going? Please tell me you've started by now, it's not fair on Remus to keep him waiting for this long. Sorry for not owling you sooner but to be honest, nothing much has happened in the two months you've been gone. The only thing really worth noting is that someone tried to shoplift some things from the shop so I threw a bucket and spade at them. They haven't come back since.

Luke and Rhea send their love of course, not that they would ever admit it in the presence of the other. Trixie from next door also asked me to check up on you as she hadn't seen you much all summer. I can't wait for Christmas so you can come back, thankfully it's only less than a couple of months. I'm slowly losing my mind without anyone else here to have an intelligent conversation with.

Love you lots,

Mum xxx

Fuck yes, Mum.

She is an actual savage and I love that so much. Only she would get away with throwing kids toys at thieves. Sounds like he deserved it though. What kind of crackhead would assume they could steal from my mum and get away with it. I made a promise to myself to reply to her after lessons had ended for the day.

But on a more important note. Queen released a new single.

Two new songs.

Holy shitting fuckity fuck on a crumpet.

FINALLY NEW MATERIAL.

AFTER A FUCKING YEAR.

YES.

The gods must have been smiling at me that day for this was a glory that not even Clotho could have foreseen. I unwrapped the record, more carefully this time as to not scratch it, and, true to Steve's word, there was the vinyl: Bohemian Rhapsody. Whatever the fuck that meant. Sounded pretty epic though.

"Are you OK Ruth?" Remus asked, mock concern lacing his voice. He'd given up on trying to teach us how to stay alive years ago, now he merely observed and occasionally saved our lives. Honestly, bless that boy. However, it wasn't until he had asked this question that I realised this wasn't the first time the boys had tried to get my attention since I received the letter.

"I'm fan-fucking-tastic, darling. Never been better," I grinned.

"Now here's the thing, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not," Peter chuckled, causing me to lightly whack him around the back of the head.

"No, you bloody wanker, I am genuinely joyful."

"Well that's new," Sirius muttered, earning him also a small smack. I would never properly hit any of my friends unless they had absolutely betrayed me. Which was unlikely.

"What's so good about this letter then?" James asked earnestly, just a tad confused.

I smirked at him, "If you come and bunk this lesson with me then you'll find out."

So that's how the boys and I ended up in the Room of Requirement, listening to Queen's latest song, instead of being in Divination.

At some point during my first year, I found out about the Room of Requirement when I overheard a conversation between some 7th years. Upon discovering this, I promptly went to the room's location, wishing for a space for music. A bit vague, I must admit, but at the time, I had merely been searching for a place to keep my record player and vinyls. The room itself was not as plain as I first visualized. Many wooden, modest-sized crates and boxes filled to the brim with my records were scattered around - more of an organised mess than you might expect. Each crate was dedicated to a certain artist who I loved: Queen, Elton John, David Bowie, The Beatles, etc. My scarlet, black and gold record player sat proudly on top of a dark oak cupboard that existed for purely decorative purposes. A grand piano stood on the other side of the spacious room next to a throne of sorts that I felt was necessary to have. A crimson, old-fashioned sofa was positioned at the back of the room with an identical ivory one opposite it. Fairy lights were tangled in just about everything in the room, adding to the general aesthetic rather than any form of assistance. If anything, it was more of a nuisance but I would never sacrifice the atmosphere it presented.

The boys plonked themselves on the leather sofas as I crouched down, carefully placed the record on the turntable and adjusted the speed from the usual 33 RPM to the 45 setting. I put the needle on the rim of the record and sat cross-legged on the floor next to the speakers. I loved to have them right next to my ears whenever I listened to a record for the first time. Especially when it came to Queen – it didn't escape my attention that the sound often went from one speaker to the other. I closed my eyes softly when I heard the familiar crackle that always made me grin like an idiot. There was something about focusing on just my hearing and giving my other senses break. That was how music was supposed to be – for your ears.

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

The strong harmonies rang throughout the room, almost echoing.

Caught in a landslide

No escape from reality

Open your eyes

Look up to the skies and see

The piano started to creep in, gradually getting louder as the song progressed.

I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

Freddie's effortlessly recognisable voice sung alone for a moment, only for the harmonies to make a comeback.

Because I'm easy come, easy go

Little high, little low

The lyrics filled both of my ears, left then right. It was so stereotypically Queen; it was like their seal, their stamp, their trademark that said 'Yeah, we did that'.

Anyway, the wind blows

Doesn't really matter to me, to me

The repetitive notes of the piano and John's wonderful bass sound played alone for a couple of bars.

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

Somewhat taken aback by the dark turn the lyrics had taken, I felt goosebumps up and down my arms as a reaction to the melancholic feel of the song.

Mama, life had just begun

But now I've gone and thrown it all away

The song as a whole rose to a crescendo. I could hear the emotion and passion in Freddie's voice – it was almost ethereal.

Mama, ooh, ooh

Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

The volume suddenly decreased. Roger's drumming became more prominent in this verse.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body's aching all the time

Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

Mama, ooh (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

The lyrics got darker if that was even possible. The clear, sharp sound of Brian's guitar solo filled every inch of the room. After about half a minute of glorious guitar, all of the instruments were cut short by quiet, staccato piano chords.

I see a little silhouette of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch will you do the fandango

I wasn't exactly expecting a full-on choir that was truly just Freddie, Roger and Brian's voices on top of each other, over and over again. I dreaded to imagine how long that must have taken to record.

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me

Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo,

Galileo Figaro magnifico

The 'Galileo's made me giggle: how the fuck could Roger sing higher than me? I understand that I'm an alto but he's a bloke!

But I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Easy come easy go will you let me go

Bismillah, no we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let him go

Bismillah, we will not let you go, let me go

A tiny smile crept its way onto my face at hearing 'Bismillah'. It was a word that I had heard Dorcas say on numerous occasions.

Will not let you go, let me go (never)

Never let you go, let me go

Never let me go, ooh

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go

Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me

For me, for me

Roger's ridiculously high voice filled my ears once again, even higher-pitched this time around. Louder, more rock-orientated music blasted out of the speakers of the record player. I couldn't help but bang my head along to it. It was like being hypnotised; you couldn't control your movements.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye

So you think you can love me and leave me to die

Oh baby, can't do this to me baby

Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here

The song quietened down again, not unlike how it had been at the beginning.

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah nothing really matters

Anyone can see nothing really matters

Nothing really matters to me

Anyway, the wind blows

The last line was barely audible but fortunately, I could make out Freddie's voice from my spot next to the speakers. When I finally opened my eyes again, I could see the boys had been straining to hear it. A gong sounded throughout the room, marking the end of the song.

I glanced at the boys, wanting to observe their reactions to the near enough six-minute masterpiece we had just had the privilege of hearing.

"That was definitely worth missing Divination for," Remus chuckled and honestly, that was the best I could have ever hoped for. We spent the next 20 minutes gushing about the song and listening to it again about 2 or 3 times. Only after this did we realise that we hadn't yet listened to the B-side: I'm In Love With My Car. Unsurprisingly, it was written and sung by Roger and was indeed about him being in love with his car. Not quite sure what I was expecting if I'm honest. It turned out to actually be a brilliant song and the boys and I had a blast rocking out to it.

Suddenly I had an epiphany. That absolutely, completely, positively could not wait a moment longer.

So naturally, I had to tell the boys.

"Guys, guys, guys!" I exclaimed, everyone turning their heads to stare at me like they were a clan of meerkats, "Remember our Halloween prank tonight at dinner? Change of plan."

**********

The rest of the day was a fairly normal affair. I could hardly concentrate because my mind was buzzing with thoughts about Queen and our prank tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary then.

By the time dinner came around, the excitement was radiating off us in waves. Somehow, this was the first prank we had done all year, which was certainly saying something. Just as Dumbledore stood up from his seat to give one if his famed speeches, I tapped on the table to signify the start of the prank. Peter took his cue and murmured a charm, making all of the candles suddenly blow out and plunging the Great Hall into darkness. Hushed whispers from confused students were suddenly silenced by the sound of a microphone whistling. This meant Remus had executed his part of the plan, now it was time for James's. Being the best at Transfiguration out of all of us, his job was to transform the metal torches at the tops of the walls into various different instruments - guitars, basses, drums, pianos, gongs, wind chimes, etc. Now for my part. I charmed all of the floating pumpkins in the hall so they would sing. Which song you ask? Bohemian Rhapsody, of course, my dears. I smiled when the familiar voices of Queen echoed all around the Great Hall. Once the acapella part of the song was over, Sirius charmed the newly made instruments so they would play their respective parts when needed. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing: even in the darkness, I could make out some facial expressions that could only be described as a mixture of confusion, annoyance, glee and defeat.

The song seemed to be over before it had even begun, which was a shame. Everyone applauded as we reversed the spells and Dumbledore actually congratulated us in his speech! McGonagall, however, reprimanded us and gave us detentions for disrupting the dinner or some bullshit like that. I personally believed she secretly loved the prank. Maybe the eye roll suggested this as she trooped back to the teacher's table. Or maybe I had imagined it.

Who even knows any more?

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Sarazanmai 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 2 - 7 | OPM 2 2 - 7 | BSD 3 3 - 6 | Demon Slayer 4 - 7 | Shield Hero 17 - 20

I’ll be rolling out the tags around about the time of this post.

Sarazanmai 3

Kisu = kissu (kiss). Update: Or kisu (on the right side of my equation). You do you, subbers.

Goma-ae.

Gomennassara! (Oh, I get it…!)

It never occurred to me that a “micanga” was a bead or small pierced round object of some sort. I thought it was a race track sort of thing, but for soccer. Update: It’s a bracelet/anklet thing.

Wait, so what brought on this change of heart from Kazuki??? Is it like the 1st episode, where it was a daydream that was cleverly presented as real? Update: Yep.

Oh…have you noticed all the victims of Reo and Mabu’s scheme are men of the NEET/freeter age, or approaching that?

Notably, the signature pose of the Sarazanmai seems to be similar to the one Kazuki and Enta did in the soccer team.

I find it interesting that Enta is now the initiator of the Sarazanmai and thus the one to steal the shirikodama. I mean, he used to be the one with the least stakes in the Dish of Hope scenario…and now look at him!

Ooh, Toi is sharpening his ruler! (Or whatever you do in Touken Ranbu with that lil’ beater of his.)

Oh wait, I forgot Ikuhara always has a last-minute twist! Go back, go back!

It seems like Haruka has some kind of illness…hmm. Update: Oh, it’s not an illness per se…spoke too soon.

Haruka’s talking about the Little Prince…hmm. Last time I really bothered to engage with that story in any form was Star Driver.

Fruits Basket 2

I don’t think I ever really chose a side on the Kyo vs Yuki debate, but I guess I always subtly sided with Yuki (even though the end pairing is Tohru and *bleep*). <- sorry, had to censor myself

“It’s important for me to get to school every day!”

Kabedon! Eeeeee! (LOL, I really am a squealy person at heart, aren’t I?)

The writing says “she misheard [what Yuki said] as ‘being sick’”, so it was quite lucky that the word “sickened” worked in context.

Yuki has some mad ninja skills…LOL.

Shigure in a suit looks goooooooooood, man (<- gender neutral use of “man”).

“…the days ahead will be fun.” – Oh, Tohru, you don’t know how wrong you are…(says someone who completed the manga)

Fruits Basket 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time…and it sounds like an ED. (Probably because I read some impressions that said the same thing earlier today.)

“…included in the zodiac?”

Ooh! Momiji! Wait, er…I didn’t expect him to be so high-pitched…

Lookit the tiny cat icon on the side! It’s cute!!!

*yells* It’s Kagura!!!!!!!! She ain’t my favourite, but man, is it great to see another familiar face!

I’ve been wondering what the title meant when it said “what year is she?” It means “year of the zodiac”.

Fruits Basket 4

“Shii-chan”…?

Kyo-kun ran away before Kagura even started making dinner…

Was Kyo’s katsudon a joke…? (Cats-udon, geddit?...No?)

“…marriage is a girl’s greatest dream.” – That used to be so, Tohru…nowadays, it ain’t.

Lookit how Kyo’s eyes lit up when he talks about his teacher!

OPM 2 2

That title’s…even more counterintuitive than “OPM 2 1”…hmm.

It’s…kind of dark right now.

I think there was bourbon on the counter. Someone likes to drink around here…

I guess with the mass animation exodus, OPM seems kinda…monologue-y. And cheap…

…nope, I take back my words. They were merely saving up for this action scene.

BSD 28 (S3 Ep 3)

Seriously, what are those metal things Dazai was wearing? Anyways, I like how it’s absolutely the norm that Chuuya swears now and I was part of forming that. Because I don’t swear a lot, I think Chuuya makes a nice outlet for my own frustrations...that’s what could be said, anyway.

D’aww. Someone acknowledges Chuuya’s identity. Ain’t that grand? (Now you see why I like Chuuya more than Dazai these days, huh?)

Come to think of it…a person hasn’t died in this show for a while, have they? It just goes to show you that despite one of its major stars being a guy obsessed with shinjuu (double suicide), the creators seem to be emphasising the sanctity of life itself.

Oh, I never thought they had an explanation for Dazai’s coat…

What is the age difference between Chuuya and Dazai anyway??? They’re both 15 during the LN that’s called that, but the exact difference…what is it? Update: Dazai’s birthday is June 19th and Chuuya’s is April 29th, so the difference is 1 month and 21 days (using the idea that 7 days = a week and May is 30 days, that’s 51 days in all).

Ooh, we’re getting Fyodor, Ace and the unnamed kid soon, aren’t we? That also means we’re in unknown territory for myself, too…hmm.  

OPM 2 3

When did Saitama last meet Charanko anyway? Charanko is voiced by Toshiki Masuda, so I would’ve kept an eye out for him, but the art shift and the years between seasons mean I don’t remember anymore.

Oof, “justice crashed Mumen Rider’s head” is more like it.

CGI banana…Just saying “CGI banana” is funny.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 4

Headpats, headpats all around!

Hooo…boy. I already knew Sabito and Makomo were dead because Crow and Irina’s collab post was called “The Names of Dead Children”, but how it was delivered…was such a powerful move.

I saw the blonde boy who’s in the OP…hmm. Update: His name is Zenitsu, according to the next-ep preview.

OPM 2 4

When comparing this dissection of monsters against Mob Psycho…the biggest monster Mob has is himself…hmm.

I didn’t expect Saitama to actually enter under Charanko’s name with that wig he got…

“…name as a martial artist.”

Mojo for the dojo, it seems this man wants.

I think the centipede senpai is CGI. Hmm…

It’s been years…I’ve forgotten what Ponytail Head’s name is! (And I call OPM one of my favourite series in anime…!)

Sarazanmai 4

“Writers exist between life and death.” – …is Ikuhara expressing his own thoughts on how anime writers are treated…?

I anticipate a soba pun (soba = noodles and soba = beside [someone]).

“…gives a s***…” – Says you, Toi, with the “Golden Poop” in the background. Then again, that’s just an English pun. Don’t mind me.

Comic Sans…you can’t escape it, even in this day and age…

Yude = to boil, soba…is the noodles. (The “o” on the end of the Monster of the Week’s first name means “man”.) Ikuhara uses Monster of the Week names in service of symbolism, while Takamatsu uses inconsistency for the sake of humour.

Intetestingly, there’s a spiralling blue thing in the background of the dance number and it says “soba” (katakana) and “desire” (yokubou, in kanji).

The headline translates to “Tragedy! It was next to me, but then…” (Kigeki! Sakki made soba ni ita noni…) The subbers had to accommodate the soba pun though, so they went with “so bar away”.

Hmm…now Toi takes centre stage…

2007, huh? How old are Kazuki and co. again?

This is probably the least surprising secret of all, y’know. Also, I think Keppi and Kazuki have cucumbers in their mouths.

They have subs for Stand By Me now!!! Oh mai globbb!

W-Wuh?! I can see why he’d hate Haruka (feelings of “why don’t my parents look at me the way they look at him anymore?”), but…this really turns this entire story on its head!

Kimetsu no Yaiba 5

Interestingly, the “My” in the episode title is Onore (an “I” indicating professionalism).Come to think of it…what is Tanjiro’s pronoun of choice?

Aww…the fact Tanjiro kinda looks like the demon’s (previous body’s…?) bro made the scene kinda cute. Possibly, it could be even enough to drive someone to tears…not that I was driven to tears, of course.

Well, here’s Zenitsu.

This angry kid reminds me of Mike Teevee (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He seems like a rival, but he’ll disappear soon enough. Also, LOL, a sparrow instead of a crow.

“…my whole body hurts.” – Welp, that’s what happens when you lose sleep fighting demons for 7 days straight…

Why the obvious names? (re: Haganezuka – that is, hagane means “steel”…also, Nichirin contains the character for “sun” (at least, I think so…?) and Yoko can be understood to be/homophonous to the word for “sunlight”)

Tanjiro, son of Tanjuro…LOL. That was probably deliberate – it means the first son follows in the father’s footsteps.

For some reason, I wanted Haganezuka to pop out of the comic for the next-ep preview…aww.

Shield Hero 17

How many times did Fitoria say “I’m going to kill the heroes” and Naofumi say variants of “no”? Because of that, I had half a mind to jump ship and head to RobiHachi instead…but keep going.

That cowlick stuff was probably the most fun I’ve had with this show in a while…heh.

Oh great…Naofumi expanded his pseudo-harem to two bird waifus…then again, I had a stupid grin on my face seeing Fitoria’s old master, so maybe it’s not all bad, y’know?

Post-credits scene…keep watching!

Wah-wait…what the heck was that explosion???!!!

BSD 29 (S3 Ep 4)

That’s…Topaz (unofficial name)…ohhhhhhhh dear…

Oooh, Katai! Katai! Yay!!! (As you can tell, I had a very small thing for Katai. He reminds me of En-chan, y’see.)

The CGI in this OP…you can tell there’s quite a bit of it, huh?

It’s Deadmau5 (as the fandom used to joke)!

Fyodor’s eyes of disgust as Topaz dries his hair…hmm.

Older Topaz looks surprisingly like Oda…I don’t remember that exact shot, but it might’ve been in the manga. His background also reminds me of Chuuya’s.

OPM 2 Ep 4 (OPM 18)

“Irksome insect”…says the giant insect.

I think I saw a 7-11 pastiche in the background.

Why does the bird have a human hand in his belly? What??? (LOL)

This tournament arc don’t feel so hype, now that MHA’s is over…

Someone likes Donkey Kong… (referring to Marshal Gorilla and the other Kong guy (Heavy Kong))

Sarazanmai 5

…oh wow. Y’mean Kazuki is adopted???

“Why don’t you say anything, even though you know about me now?” (from Toi) – Probably because Kazuki is as f***ed up as you are, if not worse.

What are those sparkles coming off Sara’s face…? Not sure if they’re a shoujo thing or just…gratuitous sparkles.

LOL, Nioino Fukuro. Basically “pouch of scent” when you insert a space between the second I and the second N and change the first name kanji, plus change the “no” to hiragana.

I know the title of the song is Kawausoiya (translates to “awful otters” or something like that), but “soiya” doesn’t make much sense on its lonesome.

Wait…does that mean Sara is the creature? Or there are two Saras that can look the same, but one looks like the human and one is more kappa-like???

For some reason, I’m getting changeling vibes here…that Kazuki wants to look different to the rest of his family because he knows he’s different.

Hey…there’s this thing called the tourist gaze. It argues that because people create notions of reality differently, people have different ideas of what makes a trip “good” and “authentic”. In the same sense, Haruka’s “false” connection with Kazuki!Sara has become his reality, so it’s not wrong to say this Sara is real for him.

Oh…I just realised some kanji that appar early in the OP are the kanji for “extraction”.

So, uh…in a sense…can I interpret Kazuki’s love for his real mother a Fruedian thing? It seems all men’s love can be interpreted to be Freudian in some way or another…also, Sara kind of looks like his mother in a very “surface” kind of way. That is, they have a very passing resemblance to each other. Update: I’ve been reading some Stephen King lately and if I took anything away from that experience, it would be that everything is Freudian when it comes to men’s experiences. That’s why I say that.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 6

…*remembers something from the collab that was along the lines of “Astral doesn’t like Tanjiro’s green jacket”* Astral’s not gonna like this, then. (For those who don’t know the context, “Astral” is AstralGemini of the Zodiac Room.)

*Tanjiro is told he might not go very far with his demon slaying* *Tanjiro reacts with happiness that he’s on his way to get Nezuko human again* - Uh…I know I’ve watched my share of shonen, but I kind of didn’t expect that and yet also did.

Ugh…it’s the return of CGI Tanjiro…the vegie patch looks good in CGI though, for some reason.

Lemme guess…with a title like that (Swordsman Accompanying a Demon), could it be that Kazumi is a demon???

“I don’t get it at all.” – LOL…that was unintentionally funny (for the second time in this show, the first being Hand Demon).

BSD 30 (S3 Ep 5)

Moby Dick crashing into Yokohama? It was literally years ago for us!

I’m pretty sure these Park guys didn’t exist in the manga. Update: Nope, they did. I’ve read the corresponding chapter, it’s just that that was also 2 years ago…just like the last we saw of the anime.

I love how the “gyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” ended in blood splatter, literally.

The Park guys apparently come from ch. 44 but Katai comes from ch. forty…what? One? Two? It’s not 40 (Hitori Ayumu), that’s all I know.

Katai is a good boy. You’ll see why in…oh, a few seconds.

Oh, I love the ending of this story. I already know the ending, but seeing it again will be a whole new bag of laughs!

Uh…I forgot how much of an interruption the anime’s humour is. My dream of a “whole new bag of laughs” is at least half dashed…*shoulders slump*

Apparently Atsushi cut his hair himself…not sure if that’ll be a spoiler for later, but it’s still something cool to know.

“So it’s your letter?”

Katai is basically me when it comes to my husbandos. See why I love him???

Come to think of it…I haven’t properly listened to the ED yet! Better do that while I still have the chance.

Fruits Basket 5

Shigure is such a troll…just like I remember him.

Fruits Basket 6

Hatori! Ooh! He’s hottttttt! Sizzling!...Okay, I think you get my point already…

I think someone else (Amelia from A Girl and Her Anime…?) pointed this out…but I don’t understand a speck of German outside 1 – 10 (I remembered the German word for “six” way too well when I was younger). So it would help if they bothered to make the German English as well.

For some reason, the stick figure was both obviously a cost-cutting measure and also elevated the hilarity of that scene…!

I don’t quite know what the Japanese equivalent of the “macaroni and cheese” thing was, but it conveys the same idea in the two languages and makes people laugh along the way, so…*shrugs shoulders* Makes sense, I guess.

Tohru is kandou about meeting an author. Kandou means to be deeply moved (noun form).

LOL, Hanajima reading the book.

…Oh my goodness. I just realised Fruits Basket has a lot of characters with fringes. 90s fringes for everyone!

“…a cartoon about a cat and a rat that are always fighting…” - Come to think of it, Tom and Jerry is popular in Japan.

Shield Hero 18

I think this episode title ends in inbou, which means “intrigue”.

This show is clearly trying to play the same cards over and over again…

Shield Hero 19

Hypocrites! Hypocrites everywhere! *does Buzz Lightyear hand gesture from the meme*

OPM 19 (S2 Ep 6)

The reason the fat guy is called Dave is not just because of B/V confusion, but because debu (without the line in the middle) is a slang word for…wait for it…”fatty”.

Interestingly, Murata previously worked on a oneshot called Gokiburi Buster. I wonder if this Cockroach Boi is from there…?

Did you notice the guys behind the umpire, who had a stretcher at the ready…?

“Mr Saynuthin” seems to be “Nanmoien-san” in Japanese.

“Waganma” seems to be a play on wagamama, or selfish. However, I can’t pin down the pun in the father’s name...

Well, well, well…at least someone acknowledges Speed of Sound Sanic (the ninja, not the CGI abomination or the monkey) is hecka-speedy.

Charanko (the real one)…he has ashi no ura (the back of the foot) written on his bandages…LOL.

Sarazanmai 6

Apparently Kazuki’s (foster) family all wear the same kind of stripes…which is what Kazuki means when he doesn’t want to wear the same kind of clothes as his family.

Okay…so the first set of kanji that appear in the OP are the one for “desire” and the ones after that are “extraction”…geddit? (LOL)

Oh my glob…how in the name of Iyami does Osomatsu-san get so popular that after I watched the first season of that show, it starts appearing in other places as well????

I saw a translation of the Reo and Mabu tweets and apparently at least one of them can make ningyoyaki (a type of cake you can make in all sorts of shapes – scroll down a bit on that page and you’ll find the description of ningyoyaki there).

Uhh…ghh…Keppi pole dancing was disturbing…*soul floats out of body temporarily*

Reo (I think that’s Reo, at least) has ningyoyaki…Update: Yup, that’s Reo.

“Headdress”, huh?

Why does this episode 6 feel like ending material…?

Wait…you’re saying Reo and Mabu are princes of the otter kingdom??? Wuh???

BSD 31 (S3 Ep 6)

(Lucy blushes) Wow…now there’s an option for a het ship right there…not that anyone will take it.

I saw a GIF of Atsushi floating naked and face down in the water (because Irina), but…I forgot exactly how the scenario before it went, so I LOLled.

Oh yeah…this chapter had a tie-in with Mizuki Tsujimura, because Mizuki knew Kyoka’s mother. Also, it shows you can inherit Abilities…

It’s Truck-kun and the curse of the isekai!...Okay, I’m kidding.

Oh yeah…this is the chapter about the Headmaster…

I haven’t been in a good place mentally for the past few years or so, due to my world basically fragmenting around me, so the words “don’t hate yourself” are strong ones coming from a place both nostalgic and new.

Dazai inherits a particularly interesting space in Atsushi’s life. He’s like a brother and father wrapped up into one (Kunikida is the nagging mother in that analogy, LOL), but also obsessed with suicide to the point he can also be a liability.

“…didn’t tell anyone…”

It’s also interesting to compare Tohru (of Fruits Basket) and Atsushi. They’re both selfless, but Tohru’s selflessness is shown to be a double-edged sword while Atsushi’s gives him a lot of resentment but is overall a positive thing.

Aww…seeing Atsushi slowly tear up almost made me tear up too…

Fitzgerald Rising…that’s the name of the chapter where…oh, sorry. It’s been years, so I’ll let it all play out for you and me again without mentioning any spoilers until they happen in (close to) real time in the show, okay?

Fruits Basket 7

This is the first time there’s been English lyrics on the OP for this show…I think.

Who’s this “he” Tohru’s referring to when examining the woman’s picture? Akito, probably, but I’m not 100% sure…Update: It was Hatori, actually.

“Shii-san”, “Haa-san” etc. is…cute. *cue “O kawaii koto…” from Kaguya-sama*

I get the feeling that Shigure is almost like a prototype Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs). Or they just have a lot in common.

“Are these my just desserts?”

Demon Slayer 7

Nezuko’s playing whack a mol-er, demon, isn’t she??? (LOL)

Whoa…it must be mighty freaky to be floating in a swamp of dead people’s possessions…

Welp, Tanjiro…that’s one way to say “hands off my sister”. *nods* By cutting the demon’s hands off…

I like the contrast between Tanjiro’s callused hands and Kazumi’s smooth ones.

Hey…why does food always get wasted in movies and other media…? I know I’m applying real-life consumption habits to media, but it always looks quite wasteful, y’know…?

OPM 20 (S2 Ep 7)

I never noticed that shot of Watchdog Man in the OP before…huh.

Pig God’s shirt says DEV. It’s a pun on debu (fatty)…again.

Ooh! I saw him in the OP! Flashy Flash! I’ve never seen him in action outside the OP before, but I know his name and appearance from reading around.

“You all are the strongest swordsmen we have.”

Seriously, Saitama, just get something to stick the wig on and you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Maybe superglue…(okay, I’m kidding about the superglue).

OPM got really childish this time… 

[terriblesportsimagines]

A-Z for akashi, kise, and aomine pleaseeee

Okay anon, this was cheating lol Also, killed me lol  But here you are~!

Super long

Akashi Seijuro

A = Aftercare – Generally great at aftercare, especially ifhe’s been rough.  Is all about you andtaking care of you.B = Body part – His favorite part of you is your face, because it’s yours andalso he loves knowing you are watching him. Doesn’t really think about his own body, except to make sure its inshape.C = Cum – traditional, likes to come inside you, your pussy or your mouth is goodwith him  D = Dirty Secret – watches porn that makes some people cringe E = Experience – Knows what he’s doing whether he has experience or not.  And let’s face it, you’re not going to gowantingF = Favourite Position – Anything he can control the pace of.  Does have a thing for taking you standingand pressed against a wall though.G = Goofy – he’s pretty serious during sex, mostly because he’s serious allaround and is a little deficient in the sense-of-humor departmentH = Hair – Carefully groomed and maintained because that’s how he was broughtup.  He always has to be presentable.I = Intimacy – If its someone he loves, it’s always intimate and about growinga bond, even when it’s hot and heavy and fast. If it’s casual, there’s not a lot of intimacy and he’s pretty cold.  If he cares about you 0 percent, he won’teven kiss you.J = Jack Off – jacks off like anyone else, only when he can be sure he’s alone,however.  Looks at porn to get himselfoff, but has a pretty great imagination.K = Kink – has two major kinks.  Thefirst is control, he wants to control your body and everything it does.  The second is a confirmed daddy kink.  Goes alone with the control kinkthough.  He wants you completelyvulnerable before him.L = Location – Where are you when he gets horny?  Mostly confined to his bedroom, he’ll take you other places ifhe’s really turned on.  An emptyclassroom or the locker room being two such places.M = Motivation – Being assertive really turns him on, because if your assertivethen he has that much more fun controlling you.N = NO – being the sub.  That is a greatbig NOPE in his booksO = Oral – Doesn’t really prefer one over the other.  He likes going down on you, but also really likes having yourlips wrapped around his cock.P = Pace – depends on where you are and what kind of mood he’s in.  He’ll draw it out sometimes, other times itwill be rough and brutal, especially if it’s a punishmentQ = Quickie – quickies have their time and place, but he prefers to lay you outin private with time on his hands.R = Risk – Doesn’t really feel risk even if you are in public and can getcaught.  He’s Akashi, if someoneinterrupts he merely stares at them until they go away and most people aresmart enough not to cross him by talking. He’s pretty open about trying things.S = Stamina – has a lot of stamina from his training menu T = Toy – Will have toys to use exclusively on you.  Tends to use them as punishment methods or to pull multipleorgasms out of you if he’s tired or impatient.U = Unfair – If you irritate him, expect to be teased.  Also loves the way you cry when he teasesand edges you so watch outV = Volume – makes very little sound. Will growl a little when he comes, but mostly wants to hear yournoise.  W = Wild Card – Made you go down on him in a stairwell during class oncebecause you’d flirted with Hayama and it pissed him off.X = X-Ray – average size, has pretty good girth thoughY = Yearning – Neither super high sex drive nor super low.  He could have you every couple of days ifthere was time, but truthfully has little time to think about sex that oftenZ = ZZZ – Never falls asleep before you. He’ll talk and cuddle as long as you want, and mostly just wants to lookat you when you sleep.

Kise Ryouta

A = Aftercare – Hit and miss with him and usually depends onhow hard it was on him.  He’s good atit, if he remembers and isn’t dopey and sleepy

B = Body part – He likes your thighs the best, especially when they are wrappedaround him.  He likes his chest, andlikes when you admire it.

C = Cum – Prefers to come inside your pussy, but will also take yourbreasts.  Creampies are his jam, becausehe’s possessive and they signify you being full of him

D = Dirty Secret – He’s more than a little yandere.  He’s pretty cold to most people, though he puts on a sweet faceto his fans.  If he settles down to careabout you, then you are his and he wants to be the sole center of yourattention always

E = Experience – Has a lot of experience. He’s had people, girls and boys throwing themselves at him sincemiddle school.  He figures out prettyquickly that he likes it.

F = Favourite Position – He likes to take you from behind with his whole bodystretched over you so he can feel you. He likes the angle, and he likes to leave marks on your shoulders.  This way, he can also reach your clit.

G = Goofy – Can be funny during sex, he likes the sound of your laughter.  This is only if he isn’t hella turned onthough, because if he is, hold on!

H = Hair – Super groomed, almost obsessively groomed, because, after all, he’sa model

I = Intimacy – Sex is fun, and so it takes him a long time to equate sex withlove.  Generally just a way of enjoyingyou and making you his

J = Jack Off – masturbates a lot, sometimes in places he can be caught, likehis dressing room.  Has a luridimagination so doesn’t look at porn a lot.

K = Kink – public sex, the idea that someone could come across you two is ahuge turn on for him.

L = Location – will do it anywhere – dressing room, bed, bathroom, doesn’tcare.

M = Motivation – Looking at him with sex in your eyes will have him pounce, butdragging your tongue along his neck will destroy him

N = NO – Will not do threesomes or anything involves taking your attention awayfrom him.

O = Oral – prefers to give rather than receive.  Could eat you out all day

P = Pace – Generally fast because he can’t control himself where you areconcerned

Q = Quickie – loves quickies, because usually they are somewhereindecent and he’s all about public or semi-public sex

R = Risk – is not risk adverse (see kink), and is down to try almostanything.  Can be really adventurous.

S = Stamina – Can go maybe two rounds, his stamina isn’t the greatest, plus,once he’s gotten what he wants, he generally loses interest

T = Toy – oh boy, this kid likes toys. He likes to use them on you, he likes them used on him, it’s all fairgame.  He likes vibes with a remote thathe can make you wear and then torture you so that you are thinking about himall day.

U = Unfair – generally not too big of a tease because he lacks the patience,but if you piss him off?  Hang onreader-chan!

V = Volume – Doesn’t hide his noise, but isn’t ashouter.  You’ll hear him because he’llbe all over you, but the chances are pretty good others won’t.

W = Wild Card – Loves it when you give him a lengthy strip tease and then a lapdance.  Actually likes being teased,though it always ends up rough for you

X = X-Ray – He’s pretty tall, so he’s a fair sized.  Longer than wider though.

Y = Yearning – Has a decently strong sex drive.   Has to orgasm at least a couple of times a day, and ideally thatwould be with you, but masturbates a lot too.

Z = ZZZ – Generally stays awake if you are talking to him, will muttersleepily.  Is very relaxed so fallasleep fast a lot.

 Aomine Daiki

A = Aftercare – He’s pretty trash at aftercare, he doesn’treally think about it.  He does likewhen you are draped over after him after though.

B = Body part – Canonically a breast man. He likes big breasts and he cannot lie… lol I suck.  He likes his hands the best.

C = Cum – wants to come on your breasts and face the most, likes the look ofyou staring up at him when he does it too.

D = Dirty Secret – After he started going out with you, he pictures your faceon the models bodies in his gravure magazines – except for Mai-chan.

E = Experience – Doesn’t have a lot of experience when you start going out,mostly because he’s lazy and girls are annoying and Satsuki is always withhim.  But he thinks about it a lot andwatches/reads a lot of dirty things so he has skill despite this

F = Favourite Position – LOVES being ridden face to face.  It’s the best of both worlds – he gets tofeel you squeezing his cock, but also gets to watch your breasts bounce in hisface.  Plus he can touch everything.

G = Goofy – He’s generally too worked up for jokes and the like, but there canbe laughter during sex, especially if he teases you.

H = Hair – Doesn’t pay a lot of attention to that sort of thing.  He’s usually pretty clean, but spends zerotime manscaping.

I = Intimacy – Sex feels good and he’s horny a lot, so he likes it.  But it also brings you close and he feels alot of emotions during it.  But he’spretty romantically challenge, so he doesn’t really demonstrate these emotions.

J = Jack Off – Masturbates a lot. Usually in the morning before school, a couple of times at school, andat least once at night.

K = Kink – He doesn’t really have kinks, that’s not to say he’s vanilla, itjust doesn’t occur to him.  Might enjoygirl-on-top a little too much

L = Location – anywhere, he’s down for sex if you are

M = Motivation – Touch him and he’s game. Run your hands over his waistband and hook your fingers into his pantswhile you look up at him and tilt your head: KABOOM

N = NO – Doesn’t want people seeing, and isn’t really into power games.  Already considers you his, so doesn’t needto enforce it.

O = Oral – prefers receiving to giving. Not that he won’t give, of course, and he like the taste of you, he justprefers to watch you wrap your lips around his cock

P = Pace – However you set it.  If youwant it hard and fast, he’ll give it to you that way, if you want to take yourtime and grind slowly, he’s more than okay with that.

Q = Quickie – hell yes.  But then he’s100% down for sex whenever

R = Risk – Not particularly adventurous, doesn’t want to play stupid sex games,and doesn’t want to do it where you can get caught cause that interrupts thingsand booo

S = Stamina – has a lot of stamina, though doesn’t really use it.  He’s lazy as fuck

T = Toy – Nah, doesn’t see the point. He has all the tools he needs to make you happy.  Would probably get insulted if you used themwithout him too.  Your orgasms are hisdamn it!

U = Unfair – Will tease if he’s in the mood, doesn’t really like getting teasedthough so tends not to do it to you too much

V = Volume – Can be loud, but not generally.  Grunts and growls and moans more thananything, a generic volume level that he doesn’t pay attention to

W = Wild Card – Has thought about doing it on the roof of the school butdecided that that was too exposed.

X = X-Ray – has a big dick.  He’sa big dude and he’s equipped to match

Y = Yearning – Has a ridiculously high sex drive, which is why he’s alwayslooking at gravure magazines and masturbating

Z = ZZZ – 100% falls asleep right after.

[ask-constantinvaldor]

Say at least one bad thing about every primarch, plus the emperor if you want. Maybe even the other custodes too if you're feeling like it.

*Sips Hot chocolate and pulls out a piece of paper.*

I.  “Despite his knightly demeanor and all his talk of honor and loyalty, The Lion was far too willing to keep secrets, even when he could and should have told the truth.  He believed he should have been chosen Warmaster simply because he was the 1st primarch ever created.  He was unable to  relate to mortals and even his own Legion.  He demanded respect and obedience, but rarely gave it to others, even his own brothers and adopted father.”

II.  REDACTED (They made the mistake of facing me, they should have fled and lived a little longer. Not that they could have escaped the Ten Thousand and I.)

III. “For all his talk of perfection, Fulgrim failed to see the perfection in humility and doing his duty,   All he ever wanted was glory and adoration. He wanted everyone to  sing his praises from the highest mountaintops and the lowest of gutters.” 

IV “Perturabo never should have been given command of a legion.  Like Fulgrim he wanted praise and glory for his achievement.  While paranoia is a strength, Perturabo saw criticism and enemies everywhere, even when it did not exist and even among his own family.  He believed Rogal Dorn was his rival but this rivalry  was a product of his own deranged mind.  His treatment of his Legionaries was sick and disgusting,   While victory cannot be achieved without sacrifice, Perutrabo murdered one in ten of his own legionaries when he was reunited with them, simply because they did not meet his achievable standards.  He spent their lives like a spoiled prince spends gold,  War was never a necessary evil for him, it was an equation and a bill at his doorstep,  One he was too eager to solve by spending his own son’s lives.”

V “The Khan was always a mercurial  soul. A paradox.   Reckless one moment, overcautious and dawdling the next.  A bloodthirsty hound and a diplomat.  A admirable, cultured and philosophical man, and a barbarian that mounted the heads of his foes on his jetbike,  In his desire to not be a tyrant, he neglected discipline and too many White Scars considered becoming traitors, yet in his widsom, he granted them atonement through battle. In short, he traveled down many paths,and ran off the road constantly,  Thankfully the one road he stayed on was one of loyalty.”

VI  “ Leman,.. Like Dorn, I admire him for his steadfast loyalty and envy him for how simple things are for him   Simply tear the Emperor’s enemies apart and follow orders like a good little corgi.  Yet, he is a hypocrite, He claimed his Rune Preists used the power of Fenris, when one could smell the musk of the Warp on them a mile away.  The culture of Fenris may have saved the VIth legion from  tearing itself apart, but it was anathema to the Imperial Truth.  He always assumed the worst in Magnus and that he was always right,  So self-righteous, so  eager to charge with his axe raised high.  So changeable. One second he’s offering you  a tankard of Mjol, The next, you’re head’s been removed and being chewed on by one of his wolves  and he’s bedded your wife, cousin, sister and daughter at the same time. He always chose the most violent and direct option, even when diplomacy might have prevailed.  If I  had brought a leash for him, perhaps Prospero might not been destroyed,and the handful of innocents on the wretched rock might have lived.”  

VII  “I admire Dorn  for his refusal  to compromise his ideals, his honesty and his zeal.   I wish I shared his idealism.  But his refusal to compromise is his greatest weakness.  He is more stubborn than a mule.  He would rather win a moral victory and lose the tactical war than make a hard or dishonorable decision that keep you up at night.  In addition he will not accept that  Arlette will not let him fortify the Tranquil Courts.”

VII  “Konrad Curze  refused to  accept help for dealing with his visions dammed him.  He saw only one way to bring justice, through fear.  The Night Lords were a necessary evil, but under him they became nothing but a band of criminals, He claimed to be a bringer of justice.  A rather bold claim when one skinned men, women, and children alive.”

IX. “Sanguinus was compassionate and empathetic, but he never saw humans as people, he treated them like pets. For all his humiltiy, he basked in thier admiration like a tanner in the sun,  Some part of him he refuses to admit enjoy’s how they view him   He was too idealistic, and like Dorn refused to compromise on his ideals when it would be necessary.  He was also  surprisingly short tempered and hateful on  occasion.   I’m not sure if he knew this, but to some of the Silent Sisterhood, he came off as Misogynist.”  

X “ Ferrus Mannus was incredibly short tempered.  For all his and his legion’s cold-hearted and automata like behavior, he emotions collared him and kept him on his knees like a slave.  He said he would purge the silver from his hand and ban the voluntary cybernetics of the Iron Tenth when the Great Crusade was done, yet if he had the strength he boasted so much of, he would have done it already.  if he was logical  as he claimed to be, he would not have died on Isstvan V.”

XI [REDACTED]

XII.  “Although Angron would not accept it, I pity him.  The Emperor should have let him die.  The Butcher’s Nails have stolen any chance he had for  a happy life, Yet the Butcher’s Nails does not excuse  forcing them to  be implanted them in his men.”

XIII “ Roboute is a statesman second only to Malcador.   What he has done with Ultramar is nothing but remarkable. However, his obsession with control and efficiency, and his idealism, means everything must conform. Everything must be right or it will all fall apart.  He cares for mortals, but like Sanguinius he believes he is their better and knows what’s best for them.  Like the Lion, he demanded respect and obedience, and while he did earn it from his subordinates, like his brother, he had scorn for those who disagreed with his vision and banished them from his presence like the nobleman he denied he was.  One can look no further than the 22nd chapter of the Ultramarines.  These men are Destroyer’s and primarily Terrans from the old XIIIth legion.  Many of their number also come from Ultramar and their Chapter Master is from  the 500 Worlds. Yet the 22nd has a distinctive and unique culture that makes them stand out among the XIIIth ad other legion’s Destroyer Corps.  Gulliman has made his dislike of Destroyer’s weaponry well known and their culture does not fit into his idealized view of his Legion , so he keep them at arms length like a red-headed stepchild. “

XIV.  “Mortarion’s  dislike towards Psykers, while justified due to the abuse of his foster father and the suffering he inflicted on him and the people of Barbarus, does not excuse his blind and irrational  hatred for all of them.  In addition,  he lavished his affection on the legionaries from Barbarus and disbanded the Librarius of his legion.  This made the former Librarians feel like illegitimate children.   Mortarion was a prideful as Fulgrim, and could not accept the fact the Emperor had to save his life. When Mortarion spat on his oaths, he became the very thing he and the old XIVth legion swore to destroy,  a tyrant with a callous disregard for life.”

XV “Magnus was arrogant. He believed himself superior to his brothers because of his abilities. He was a glutton for knowledge, but for all of his knowledge, Magnus was not very wise, and in his folly, dammed our entire species.”

XVI  “  Horus… *sighs and takes a swig of hot chocolate*  As much as I hate to admit it and as much as I tried to turn a blind eye  to it,  Horus was arrogant and acted like a spoiled brat.  For all  his tactical brilliance, for all his humor and kindness, He graved glory and adoration not for his Legion or for humanity,  but for himself.   Like Fulgrim, he wished all to bask in his glory and sing his praises.  Horus wanted statues of himself, wanted people to prostrate themselves before him.  He wanted their affection and love and to say “Yes Horus you are so brilliant what would we do without you.”  

An old quote came to me regarding Horus Lupercal. “Veni Vidi Vici”    Horus Came, he saw galaxy and humanity, and wished to conquer it.  First for the Emperor, now for himself and his sick desires,”

XVII   Lorgar is complicated.   Arlette and I advised to Emperor to be merciful, when He censured him   After the II and XI, I could not bear to slay another one of His children, and Lorgar’s transgression  was nothing compared to  the horrors the II and XI wrought on humanity.    And I sympathized,  with him not wishing to be a warrior, to try and be something besides another warlord.  After all, when the crusade ended, and if Emperor’s safety could be absolutely guaranteed for eternity, i would live in a cave high in Himalzia with sheep for food and company and indulge in falconry and blacksmithing and toymaking and compose philosophical  treaties. I could venture down from  my solitude and strike down injustice and distribute candy and toys  to children.  

I was a dammed fool.

Like Leman, he was so changeable. He was like a child’s bouncy ball.  Except he was loyal and devout in  a misguided way, and than wicked, traitorous and spiteful, burning works and unleashing damnation with a smile on his face.  

Lorgar had such faith in Emperor, he deified him,  raised statues and built church’s all for Him.  Now he is devoted to the Primordial Annihilator and will do anything to please his gods.

If only he had such  faith in Humanity.

XVIII “ Vulkan’s Promethean Creed is an admirable philosophy.  He had a heart bigger than an Ordinatus and kindness, compassion and smiling all came so easily to him.  I envy him for his effortless kindness.   Kindness, compassion and smiling are all things the Ten Thousand must hone as much as our skills in  assassination and bladework.

Yet that compassion in his greatest weakness, Vulkan is not a warrior, he is a builder, a worker ant defending his anthill out of love. A blacksmith who forged all his creation but his weapons with pride.”  

XIX “ Corax’s goal of liberating those in bondage is an admirable goal. Yet for all his time spend hiding in shadows, he failed to  recognize necessary evils. On  a personal note, I believe this character flaw led to his Terran legionaries meeting an ignoble end.”

XX  The Alpha Legion began as a hammer in the shadow, another necessary evil.   Yet when  Alpharius took  control, they became a twisted serpent.  The old Christian devil in  the form of a Hydra. Alpharius was a glutton for complicated plots and schemes.  He is intoxicated on suffering and disorder.  He is like  Horus in the regard that all must know they were outsmarted by him.  All most know that as soon  as they sat down at the Regicide table with him, they were played like a damn fiddle.”  

Any complaint’s about the Emperor, I shall keep to myself.

Arlette and I may have our disagreements, but we have each other’s back.  

The only custodian I can complain about is Diocletion. He is quite frankly, a Dick.  Empathy and compassion are skills he must learn.  Time with the Ligo  Aetos and humanity itself will be his teacher. “

[agl03]

AOS 4x17:  AKA I need something deep friend and slathered in chocolate!

Well that was a lot to take in.

Dear AOS writers, I hope your happy because you make my adorable little girl cry tonight.  And throw lots of her toys at the TV.

Under the thing.

Look I know it was dark and there were so many cringe worthy moments here but it was good.  Because in there Darkness there was some light.  I see where they are going with this.  I don’t like it, especially with May and Fitz, but I see where this is going…I hope.  A lot of my theories are already looking good both in What AIDA has done and what she is up too.

May:  So it looks like if anyone has a shot at getting through to May is going to be Coulson.  She hasn’t batted an eye with everyone else.  Also low key hoping that she is Phil Coulson’s ex wife.  She is as deeply entrenched in this mess as Fitz is.  Next week we’re going to get a supped up May Vs Mace fight that I’m kinda excited about.  I am really anxious to see/hear more about this may….outside of her hunting Daisy and scaring Mack/Hope.  And more than a little concerned about her shooting up with the Patriot like serum next week too.

Coulson:  Okay he can stay.   Out of all this mess, he can stay.  I miss this light hearted version of Coulson.  He had his dad moments with Jemma, fanboyed over Mace, and then jumped right into the fight.  He’s going to continue on his path of coming back to himself and I hope he with May when they come face to face…betting next week.  Bonus if May is his ex wife and we get a early Hunter/Bobbi kind of dynamic.  One of my favorite parts of the episode was how he was with Jemma, he supported and protected her.  Get the man a dad of the year mug for her.

Mace:  Nope, nope, nope!  Do not like Batman voice Mace.  He was more of a hero in the Real World.  I really worry out him now and the lengths he will go.  Its not that his mission is wrong, he’s trying to do the right thing, but something isn’t sitting right with me and him again.  It was a tough parallel that Jemma was the one he trusted at the beginning of the seasons now the one she doesn’t.  Mace also represents a huge threat to both Fitz and May as he won’t hesitate  to take either of them out given the chance.

Mack:  My heart will no survive this.   He will do whatever it takes to protect his daughter and Daisy paid the price this week.  Though that served as the tipping point to get him into the fight.  At least he’s working with the Resistance now.  Just watch for him to grow closer to his daughter so leaving her will totally kill us all.  Side note  Hope is adorable and is very bright, reminds me of Fitzsimmons a little and wonder if her skills will come into play.  I have some hope…pun intended…that project looking glass will allow her through in all this mess.

Daisy/Skye:  Okay, not a fan of the turn this took tonight.  I was looking forward to her being the hero here but now she’s essentially been kidnapped again…for the 4th season in  a row…essentially the same time of the season.  Held prisoner by Fitz of all people Hydra and getting beat up. Pretty sure she is out/rescued late 18 or early 19.  Be it Ward saves her or she escapes on her own we’ll have to wait and see.  Also Daisy told Mack when he tricked her that her body was with Jemma and YoYo in the Real World.  Something AIDA might use.

Ward:  Yeah…I’m with Jemma here and don’t trust him one little bit.   Even more so that EVERYONE but Jemma trusts him.  Even Skye trusted him a bit.  So I fully expect for Ward to betray them, specifically Jemma, perhaps in a trade for Skye.  If not Betrayal I fully expect a major plot twist from him here soon.  LIke how he’s going to deal with the whole he’s dead in the other world and if they get out he will ‘die’. I just feel they are doing what they’ve done with other characters before they turned on us.  Made us get attached a bit.  In a weird way I liked the dynamics with Ward/Mace and Ward/Coulson.

Jemma:  Can we just give the woman an emmy already so they can stop killing us.  She not only has to get Fitz back from AIDA but protect him from the Resistance as well.  And work with Ward to boot.  I have a feeling if we aren’t already there we will get there Jemma is alone in trying to save him.  But we also saw that when we did see the glimmers of our Fitz it was when he saw Jemma.  As much as it hurt, Jemma did get a victory today in she has the location of where AIDA is keeping the hostages.  So now its a matter of getting out and getting to them.  Or at the very least finding a way of relaying the information to the outside world.  We also learned that the Jemma there was executed at the Academy.  And AIDA has told Fitz she is from the world that she was taken too and tormented at (She even took MAVETH in a way).

Fitz:  “This young man as you have never seen him before”  Well Loeb wasn’t lying back at SDCC.   Man this hurt.  A lot.  We did see glimmers of our Fitz but AIDA has done a number on him.  She has made him what she needs and wants him to be.  As I’ve been saying he is her greatest prize, her obsession, and she is not giving him up without a fight.  I also feel that part of what she has done is make it so the others don’t want to save him.  She’s turned all of his friends against him.  She took Jemma out of the equation but now she’s back and AIDA is concerned about that.  And rightly so.  Fitz is the key to them getting out now and will remain the hardest to get too.  Next week we are going to see exactly what AIDA has done him and its not going to be pretty.  Now that he has seen Jemma I think he might start to get some flashes but am prepared for it to take her getting face to face with him.  Also to note, we have seen Fitz Angry with AIDA twice now…in a way we have never seen him be with Jemma.

Madame Hydra/AIDA/Ophelia:  Well she has certainly taken the cake in the crazy Big Bad villain category.   Twisting everything and everyone in that world to her advantage.  She admitted to manipulating the world to Radcliffe.  Her plan does indeed seem to take over or destroy the real world, Looking Glass the key to doing that.  She has literally made herself Jemma and twisted Fitz’s love for her.  Even given herself her own other planet/realm trip.  But there is a very key difference here.  Fitz said he would cross the Universe for Ophelia…he HAS crossed the universe…and tore a hole in it for Jemma.  AIDA was needy and every time she worried about him slipping she went into you need to protect me mode.  Radcliffe had her worried.  Jemma has her worried.  She knows her hold is tenuous.  But Fitz is “hers” right now and she will not let him go without a fight.  Bonus if when Fitz breaks the spell he calls her AIDA.

Radcliffe:  Remember when I said him treating AIDA like that would bite him in the rear.  Yeah.   Since they left him alive he still has a role to play in all this and hope he is able to help before he really does meet his end.  He did indeed care for Fitz…stupid Darkhold ruining that.

Misc:

Jemma has the hostages location

The hostages may not fully remember until they get out.  Its simply a matter of them helping or just staying alive.

AIDA does indeed want to be a real girl…in the real world and is going to use Fitz to do it.

She is making it so the team not want to get him back.  Even more if anyone other than May gets around him he considers them a threat to him and AIDA.

They key to getting to Fitz could be getting to May to get to him. 

Fitz and May were the two we saw being nice to AIDA.  May said she liked her, called her brave, and Philinda was the other relationship AIDA saw up close.  Those are the two she’s messed with the most and kept the closest to her at this point. 

We learned Fitz’s middle name!   After nearly 4 seasons we got both their middle names in 2 episodes.  So I put that tick in the wedding column.

Check out my “Ship in a bottle” meta

More metas to follow during the week including possible hints with Ophelia Finally it doesn't make the act better but we have to remember we were going to lose Agnes and likely Radcliffe no matter what. The framework is too big. Too powerful. Too dangerous to keep going even after we get the hostages out. 

Remember guys its always darkest before the dawn…and DAWN IS COMING!

[kalinara]

@miahs89 asked me: Rip/Eobard, Rip/Savage, and Clint/Natasha for the ship meme.

I’ll start with Clint/Natasha.

Honestly, I’ve always been pretty indifferent toward them.  I thought they had good chemistry in Avengers, but I didn’t really care about the secret wife and family.  (Why not?  SHIELD is a kind of creepy organization at best, the awesomeness of Nick Fury aside.)

I tend to think Clint’s kind of a cypher.  Competent, but I’ve never gotten attached.  (I think comics Clint is alternately hilarious or a total douche, depending on which run you’re reading.)  I like Natasha, but I’ve never really ‘shipped her with anyone in the MCU.  (I like comics Bucky-Natasha, but I’m not sure how much, if any, of that backstory actually translates.

Rip/Savage (this is going to get long).

I’ve honestly never understood why more people didn’t ship this horrible horrible darkship pairing.  I mean, Reylo and Darkpilot have HOW much material based on one torture scene each.  Rip and Savage have one of those, AND Savage ends up so obsessed that he keeps the freaking novelty pen that Rip uses to escape for almost four thousand years.  He made the guy the Satan figure of his cult.

And in a weird way, I get it.  I think Rip represents something very interesting to the ancient version of Savage.

Obviously, the show has ditched that whole primal but sophisticated caveman backstory for Savage, but he still retains that strength and survival mentality.  Everything is about strength, everything is about power.  Weakness is to be abhorred and scorned.  The weak are tools to use and discard.

And then here comes Rip Hunter, out of the blue.  A weird foreign guy who managed to somehow get into Hath-Set’s inner sanctum, past all of his guards, to try to kill him.

And I doubt Savage really cares why.  Hath-Set wasn’t a nice guy even then, so Rip probably wasn’t the first would-be-assassin.  Savage makes me think of that monologue from that crappy Streetfighter movie.  “For me, it was Tuesday.”

But Rip came so CLOSE.  He fought Savage.  And he WON.  And the only reason Savage is alive now is because when it came down to it, Rip flinched.  His compassion, his humanity kicked in.  His weakness.

And it should have ended there.  His assassin was skilled, but weak.  And that weakness finished him.  That fits Savage’s world view.  Now let’s find out more about this mysterious person...and he can’t.  He imprisons him, starves him, implicitly tortures him.  And he can’t get anything out of the guy.  And it doesn’t make sense, because weak men yield.  Weak men break.  But this guy, already proven to be too weak to live, just doesn’t.

And then, he escapes.  Leaving behind a novelty pen (exploiting Savage’s guards’ own weakness.)  Savage is sophisticated.  He’d recognize it as a mechanism that is far more complex, in a tiny mechanical way, than anything his people could construct.  But it’s the escape that stings more.  Because in the end, he got away.  He gave Savage nothing.  The weak man defied the strong man and succeeded.  He triumphed.

That’s not just an insult.  That’s blasphemy.  That’s a transgression of the fucking natural order.  A weak man WON.  So of course, Savage can’t forget this encounter.  Even after four thousand years.  Because it doesn’t matter how many times he wins.  How many people he conquers.  How many times he proves his ideals correct.  Because there was that ONE man.

Eventually, he met the Time Masters.  And god knows what they told him.  But imagine they told the truth.  Or at least part of it.  He learns that this transgressor of the natural order isn’t just a weak man, was not just a man.  But a Master of Time itself who abandoned everything for sentiment.  It’s mythic transgression.  Mythic weakness.  

So of course, when Savage finally creates his cult, he uses this man as a symbol of everything disgusting and vile and wrong.

And then of course Rip comes back.  And back.  No matter what he does to the man, he just never stops.  And he’s still a trainwreck of a man, still emotional, still weak...but he still denies Savage his rightful victory.  At best, Savage comes out even.  His plans usually lying in rubble around him.  But that isn’t enough.  (And that doesn’t get into the fact that his adversary is allied with Chay’ara.  That’s a whole OTHER kettle of fish.)

I think Savage’s obsession with Rip is very similar, in a way, to his obsession with Chay’ara.  Both defied him.  Chay’ara however is an equal.  She’s strong and powerful.  An equal, deserving mate.  Rip is not.  Rip is a blasphemy that must, MUST be brought to heel.  The weak must be made to submit, in order to validate Savage’s entire world view.

So, it’s about power, and obsession, and domination...and given that it’s Savage, sex gets wrapped up in the rest of that as well.

As a darkship goes, there is so much to unpack and dissect, to analyze.  It’s mesmerizing in a way, but also horrifying.  There’s no possible way a consensual relationship could result, let alone a healthy one.  But as horrible as it is, in a dark twisted sense...I do kind of ‘ship it.  (But only as long as Savage meets a very unhappy end.)

Rip/Eobard

I’m not sure what it is about Rip Hunter that my brain equates him to villain catnip, but there you go.  I have darkships with everyone.  There is a lot less to unpack with Eobard than there is with Savage though.  Eobard isn’t the same kind of dark passion/obsession driven monster that Savage is.  He’s a different kind of demon.

Eobard is the kind of man who sees people as tools.  Or maybe toys.  They can be useful.  They can be amusing.  And he can even grow fond of a few.  But mostly, they’re there to be used and discarded.  

Eobard particularly likes however when he gets to make powerful, dangerous people his tools.  Look at his relationship with Barry through all of season one.  And the satisfaction and amusement that he had making his future enemy basically dance to his tune.  Rip, I think, is similar.  We know that Eobard and Rip have crossed paths before.  (”An interesting man”, Eobard notes as he studies the Time Sphere that Cisco made for him.)  And if you watch the Legion’s reaction carefully, when Phil steps out as Rip, he’s just a little bit tense.  The laughter when Phil fumbles the gun almost seems relieved.

When Eobard gets to violate Rip Hunter’s mind, he gets to make a tool of a powerful adversary.  And what a fun, entertaining tool he is.  A tool that can walk into a camp at shoot General George Washington in the face without flinching.  A tool with easy, cool competence, that’s uninterested in the power play games of Malcolm or Damian.  A tool that can get him everything he wants.  And more besides.

I think Eobard’s only regret with this affair is that the Time Masters are already gone.  I think the dream of turning Captain Rip Hunter against the rulers of Time itself is probably better than any porn to him.

What’s one more way to use a tool?

But of course, the ideal end is castration by Sara Lance’s knives.  :-)

[tkwadeblog-blog]

"Fairy Tale Spotlight: The Bureaucracy of Demons" by T.K. Wade

For those of you who have been reading my Fairy Tale Spotlights for a while, you may have noticed that I often equate anything inhuman within a fairy tale to be a demon. The reason this happens is because I feel that many of these stories are based on real events. I believe that there are two kinds of sentient creatures that can exist on this planet: Human Beings and Demonic Entities. The latter includes angels since they are recorded to be the same species of creature.

Demons are creatures born of fire that can breed with creatures with life on Earth and form what are known as hybrids (which I still refer to as demons or demon hybrids.) In our old stories, these hybrids surfaced as various different anomalies such as trolls, manikins, satyrs, elves, and the like. And from these encounters, we have formed legends. These last two paragraphs have been a crash coarse in demonology to assist you with what this blog is really about.

Imagine a clockwork toy shaped like a castle. You wind it up and a series of animations occur where little people dance, people pop out of windows and wave, and music plays along with all these things that happen. It all happens again and again and always the same way every time the toy is wound. This is how a demon operates. He is made a certain way and has to always do things based on those set of rules. He is a perfect being who always does things the way he was meant to. During his lifetime, and often moments after his creation, he is given one single choice which simply amounts to either good or evil. Once the choice is made, he will operate perfectly on that chosen premise for the remainder of eternity.

If evil is the chosen way of things, he will be cast down to the earth where he will breed with... something or someone. This will produce an offspring which is a corrupted hybrid of the original entity. This new demon is not quite as efficient as the original but nothing to sneeze at. He will carry out his life by a very strict set of rules that must be followed without question. There can be no deviation whatsoever. Anything that seems like a deviation is actually still following the rules based on the new circumstance. They are what they are and cannot be anything else.

Demons are obsessed with getting everything right. They are also obsessed with everything being fair--at least for them. But they preach fairness and efficiency as if it was a religion. Human beings hear about fairness, and it sounds good to them so it is adopted.

Fairness is all about making sure no one is shortchanged in life. Everyone must be treated well and considered equal to everyone else. The prince of demons felt shortchanged by God and so chose to create fairness to sate his own ego. Humans have egos too and so fairness sounded great at the time.

Here is the problem with fairness.

As it turns out, not everyone is equal. We all came in different sizes, with different personalities, with different likes and dislikes, with different things that makes us happy or sad, with different tastes in food, with different likes in literature, movies, romances, etc, etc, etc. With billions of people in the world and each one having their own likes and dislikes, it is statistically and even universally impossible to make everyone happy. The correction? Make everyone miserable and convince them that it is normal to be miserable.

Accepting misery is not enough though. A concerted effort must be made to remove humanity from the human. Things like gender must also be removed. We can no longer me male or female but blank entities that can choose for ourselves what we are. The problem with this is that it is all made up in our heads, We are walking around saying we are one thing and reality is supposed to bend to it, I suppose. I was under the impression reality was what it was despite what we thought of it. I did not know one person could imagine that I was really a cat and that I would become a cat. Not that being a cat is so horrible, but I'd like a second opinion.

The demonic religion of efficiency and fairness is commonly called bureaucracy. It is a complicated system of managing things in the world to make sure that as many people as possible are happy in their misery. They carefully dole out just enough happiness to satisfy people, and they do it in the most efficient way possible, which when you consider it has to render all this to over a billion people, it does take time. Bureaucracy, by its very nature, is very slow for this reason.

If I were to mention to my fellow man that bureaucracy was the work of demons, I would probably get a chuckle and a nod. I don't know many people who really enjoy the concept of bureaucracy, as the misery it doles out causes them to be fairly resentful. But for some reason, most people still seem to promote it for no better reason than it has been there for so long and seems to work well enough.

Here is a question! How long does it take to build a house? The answer is 2 days. One day for the foundation to dry and the 2nd to do the rest. I saw it actually happen once. If enough people care and are actually free to do as they please and help one another, we'd have very little trouble building homes for ourselves. But a system has been put in place that is supposed to make sure that each and every house is built in the name of efficiency and fairness. All regulations must be followed. All fees must be paid. Everything must be 100% shipshape in the name of the almighty bureaucracy. That is... unless you have the special connections to bypass it all. In that case, you can write your own ticket.

I guess there was a day when demons looked like elves, fairies, talking plants, and the like, but not today. Today they look like men. Powerful men in high places all wearing suits and smiles on their faces. They are geniuses that know how to manipulate the world around them, and they do so with exceptional perfection. They live by a set of rules--rules that usually benefit them. They teach us that they fight so hard for things to be fair for us, but all those regulations only make things all the harder. Yet we are supposed to be happy with what we are given.

Just so you are not confused, I am not saying that they should give me anything that belongs to them. I only ask that I be given a chance. Freedom is what I am really asking for. I want to go out and make my own way in life without being drenched in all this fairness. I understand there are those who need help, and I would love to help them if given the opportunity. But I also know there are those who do not deserve the help. I want the chance to choose who I help and when. I care for those who are genuine and real. I should not be forced to simply be a part of a never ending clockwork toy made by demons who only see me as such.

Let me just end this blog with a little bit of clarity. This world has really been gummed up over a period of thousands of years. It's hard to see what's right in front of your face anymore. I want you to sit somewhere alone sometime and ask yourself, "What would I do if money were no object at all?" Don't worry about what the rest of the world would say to you. It's not important. Just focus on that one question and its answer. And then, if you can build up enough determination, I want you to stand up and do everything you can to make what you chose happen. Go out and do it! And never take no for an answer. This world is your birthright.