#the nun and the devil 1973

[callmebrycelee]

MY MAN CRUSH MONDAY IS...PATRICK WILSON SPOOKY SEASON EDITION

FULL NAME: Patrick Joseph Wilson

DATE OF BIRTH: July 3, 1973

PLACE OF BIRTH: Norfolk, Virginia

AGE: 50

SIGN: Cancer

BEST KNOWN FOR: Portraying Chris Mattson in Lakeview Terrace; Dan Dreiberg/Nite Owl II in Watchman; Mr. Shaw in Prometheus; Josh Lambert in Insidious, Insidious: Chapter 2, and Insidious: The Red Door; Ed Warren in The Conjuring, The Conjuring 2, Annabelle Comes Home, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, and The Nun II. Ross Humboldt in In the Tall Grass; and Orm Marius/Ocean Master in Aquaman and the upcoming Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.

HEIGHT: 6 feet tall

[gayamulet]

The Nun and the Devil, 1973

[bitter69uk]

Born on this day: true Italian cinema royalty, the exquisite Alida Valli (née Alida Maria Laura Altenburger von Marckenstein-Frauenberg – she was a Baroness! -  31 May 1921 - 22 April 2006), who boasted a spectacular seven-decade career. (Her filmography stretches from 1936 until final role in 2002). Benito Mussolini once called Valli "the most beautiful woman in the world", but don’t hold that against her! At the height of her Continental fame, Hollywood imported her hoping she’d be a “new Garbo” or “new Ingrid Bergman”. Billed simply as “Valli” she featured in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Paradine Case (1947). More successfully, Valli made an intensely melancholic impression opposite Orson Welles in the British The Third Man (1949). Back in Italy, she collaborated with all the essential art cinema auteurs of the period: Luchino Visconti (Senso (1954)), Michelangelo Antonioni (Il Grido (1957)), Pier Paolo Pasolini (Oedipus Rex (1967)), Bernardo Bertolucci (The Spider's Strategem (1970)). Particularly noteworthy: in the eerie French thriller Les yeux sans visage (1959) (aka Eyes without a Face), she is icily inscrutable as the deranged scientist’s lesbianic assistant with the pearl choker and fetishistic wet-look PVC raincoat. But while Valli clearly excelled in the realm of high culture, she was gutsily unafraid to get down-and-dirty in horror and exploitation flicks in the seventies, like Lisa and the Devil (1973) by Mario Bava, Dario Argento’s Suspiria (1977) and nunsploitation shocker Killer Nun (1979) as the Mother Superior! She even cropped up in 1976 disaster movie The Cassandra Crossing, featuring the all-star cast of Sophia Loren, Richard Harris, Burt Lancaster, Ava Gardner – and OJ Simpson! If you seek out one Valli film, make it the swooning operatic melodrama Senso (pictured) about the doomed love story between an Italian countess (Valli) and an Austrian officer (Farley Granger). It’s impossibly beautiful - just look at the composition of this shot!

[spacely0]

HORROR MOVIE RECS

♦ top tier ★ all-time fave

slashers: ♦intruder friday the 13th part 2 sleepaway camp 2 stage fright scream ★♦cold prey (Fritt velt) 1 & 2 texas chainsaw massacre 1 & 2 wrong turn halloween 1 & 2 & H2O A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors 1987 Child's Play 1 & ♦2 ★♦Curse of Chucky Phantom of the paradise Popcorn 1991 Club Dread My Bloody Valentine 1981 ★♦Society 1989 ♦Psychopath AKA Der Poppen Murders The Funhouse 1981 Peeping Tom happy brithday to me 1981 black christmas ★♦Sceance Maniac (the one with elijah wood) hell fest ♦Just before dawn 1981 Maniac Cop

scifi horror: The Curse of Frankenstein 1957 ♦The Revenge of Frankenstein 1958 ★♦Bride of Frankenstein 1935 ★♦the stuff ★♦the fly 1958 ★♦invasion of the body snatchers 1978 ★♦the thing ♦the faculty ★♦from beyond ★♦re-animator 2 ★♦prince of darkness 1987 Quatermass and the Pit 1967 ♦Pandorum Dr jekyll and sister hyde ★♦the brood ★♦its alive 1974 & it lives again 1978 killer klowns from outer space 1988 Quaatermass and the Pit 1967

hauntings/curses: ★♦burnt offerings 1976 haunting in connecticuit conjuring 1 & 2 insidious 1 & 2 & 3 & 5 ★♦ evil dead 1 & 2 & 2013 final destination 1 & 2 & 5 house (hausu) 1977 Kairo (pulse) 2001 the grudge (japanese & american) ♦ dark water Night of the Demon 1957 ♦The changeling 1980 ★♦The Hole in the Ground 2019 Whispering Corridors

folk horror: midsomar ♦ Viy 1967 ♦ impetigore 2019 ★♦ the wickerman 1973 Burn Witch Burn the medium

catholic horror: ♦ The Devil Rides Out 1968 ★♦ the sentinel 1977 nun II ♦ exorcist III

weirdos: ♦basket case 1 & 2 ♦it follows A dark song ★♦The Perfection The Empty Man ★♦The Skull 1965 Beyond the Black Rainbow dead ringers i, madman 1989 messiah of evil 1973 ★♦The People under the Stairs 1991 ★♦The Reflecting Skin 1990 ★♦Carnival of Souls

zombies: ★♦the video dead dawn of the dead 1978 & 2004 dead and buried i walked with a zombie ♦plague of the zombies The Serpent and the Rainbow

monsters: ★♦Sweetheart 2019 The Gate 1987 The invisible Man 1933 ♦Wishmaster 1997 Warlock ♦the mummy's shroud 1967

vampires: Shadow of the Vampire 2000 ★♦ Martin ★♦Captain Kronos -vampire hunter The Brides of Dracula 1960 ★♦the night stalker & the night strangler salems lot 1 & 2 ★♦son of dracula 1943 subspecies 1 & 2 & 4 from dusk til dawn Vampire Hunter D 1985

werewolves: the howling 1981 ginger snaps the beast must die!

death traps: ★♦The Pit and the Pendulum 1961 saw escape room ★♦Theatre of Blood 1973 The Abominable Dr. Phibes 1971 haunt

found footage: ♦Host 2020 Unfriended 1 & 2 Cloverfield Final Prayer Gonjiam: haunted asylum grave encounters hellhouse LLC ★♦Willow Creek ★♦noroi the curse occult ★♦ghostwatch ♦V/H/S 1 & 2 & viral

★♦ ALL the Amicus horror anthologies are worth watching

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

Stats from Movies 701-800

Top 10 Movies - Highest Number of Votes

Ringu (1998) had the most votes with 1,327 votes. Chillerama (2011) had the least votes with 360 votes.

The 10 Most Watched Films by Percentage

Beetlejuice (1988) was the most watched film with 80.9% of voters out of 780 saying they had seen it. Demonic Christmas Tree (2022) had the least "Yes" votes with 0.4% of voters out of 491.

The 10 Least Watched Films by Percentage

The Nun 2 (2023) was the least watched film with 70.6% of voters out of 633 saying they hadn’t seen it. Demonic Christmas Tree (2022) had the least "No" votes with 9.2% of voters out of 491.

The 10 Most Known Films by Percentage

Beetlejuice (1988) was the best known film, only 0.4% of voters out of 780 saying they’d never heard of it.

The 10 Least Known Films by Percentage

Demonic Christmas Tree (2022) was the least known film, 90,4% of voters out of 491 saying they’d never heard of it.

The movies part of the statistic count and their polls below the cut.

The Uninvited (1944) The Crazies (1973) Witchfinder General (1968) The Conspiracy (2012) When a Stranger Calls (1979) The Evictors (1979) The Birds (1963) Ice Spiders (2007) Rubber (2010) Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

Daughters of Darkness (1971) Akira (1988) The End of Evangelion (1997) The Woman in Black (2012) Milfs vs. Zombies (2015) Knife + Heart (2018) It's a Wonderful Knife (2023) Attachment (2022) Gothic (1986) Jakob's Wife (2021)

Stranger by the Lake (2013) The Fog (2005) The Greasy Strangler (2016) Angel Heart (1987) Tumbbad (2018) The Snow Woman (1968) Sugar Hill (1974) Saloum (2021) WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

Sound of Violence (2021) Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979) The Haunting of Molly Hartley (2008) Death Laid an Egg (1968) Baskin (2015) The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012) The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967) The Haunting of Julia (1977) The House That Dripped Blood (1971) Megan Is Missing (2011)

Ringu (1998) Three... Extremes (2004) Trench 11 (2017) Out There Halloween Mega Tape (2022) Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) The Driller Killer (1979) Berberian Sound Studio (2012) One Cut of the Dead (2017) Demonic Christmas Tree (2022) Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)

Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005) Motel Hell (1980) Shallow Ground (2004) Annabelle: Creation (2017) Annabelle Comes Home (2019) The Conjuring 2 (2016) The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) Morgan (2016) Sputnik (2020) Devil's Pass (2013)

Dracula's Daughter (1936) Dagon (2001) We Are Still Here (2015) We Are What We Are (2013) Somos lo que hay (2010) The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) Midori (1992) The Believers (1987) Troll 2 (1990) Chillerama (2011)

The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976) The Mortuary Collection (2019) The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976) The Pit and the Pendulum (1991) House (1985) Flatliners (1990) The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014) Crimson Peak (2015) Frailty (2001) Hell Night (1981)

Eyes of Fire (1983) Sister Death (2023) Tonight She Comes (2016) Bad Dreams (1988) Dead Snow (2009) Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014) Veronica (2017) The Nun II (2023) Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001) Maniac (1980)

Man's Best Friend (1993) M.O.M. Mothers of Monsters (2020) The Reptile (1966) She Creature (2001) Beetlejuice (1988) The Incredible Melting Man (1977) Kandisha (2020) So Vam (2021) Bit (2019) Death Proof (2007)

[lady-of-glass-and-bone]

Duck's Halloween Movie Picks!

I love Halloween and spooky season in general. So here's my list of many, many (but not all) horror movies to watch this October!

🧠 Zombies 🧠

Sometimes dead is better.

Night of the Living Dead (1968) & (1990)

Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Diary of the Dead (2007)

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Overlord (2018)

Pet Semetary (1989)

Dead Snow (2009)

Dead Alive (1992)

#alive (2020)

Train to Busan (2016)

Little Monsters (2019)

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015)

Zombie (1979)

Wonderfully Witchy

It isn't Halloween without a witch.

The Witch (2015)

The Craft (1996)

Practical Magic (not a horror movie but I don't care, I love it) (1998)

Hocus Pocus (a true classic) (1993)

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Don't Knock Twice (2016)

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Ghastly Ghouls

Ghosts, Demons, and Poltergeists oh my!

Includes but is not limited to: haunted houses and/or people, demons, cursed objects, beings from other dimensions, etc.

The Exorcist (1973)

Insidious (2010)

The Conjuring (2013)

The Nun (2018)

Poltergeist (1982)

Verónica (2017)

Hellraiser (1987) & (2022)

Candyman (1992) & (2021)

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

The Shining (1980)

Evil Dead (1981)

The Fog (1980)

Paranormal Activity (2007)

House on Haunted Hill (1959) & (1999)

The Frighteners (1996)

House (1985)

Hell House LLC (2015)

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Gonjian: Haunted Asylum (2018)

Possession (1981)

Carnival of Souls (1962)

Ringu (1998)

The Entity (1982)

Vicious Vampires

Because they're bloody sexy.

Nosferatu (1922)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1999) plus all the other million dracula movies

Interview with a Vampire (1994)

30 Days of Night (2007)

Boys From County Hell (2020)

Underworld (2003)

Bloodsucking Bastards (2015)

Near Dark (1988)

Salems Lot (1979)

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

Fright Night (1985) & (2011)

Stakeland (2010)

The Black Water Vampire (2014)

Werewolves

Fluffy and vicious, the perfect combo.

Dog Soldiers (2002)

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Night of the Wolf: Late Phases (2014)

Ginger Snaps (2001)

The Wolf Man (1941) & (2010)

The Company of Wolves (1984)

Cursed (2005)

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

Howl (2015)

The Howling (1981)

Silver Bullet (1985)

Wer (2014)

Bad Moon (1996)

The Beast Must Die (1974)

Miscellaneous Monsters

All monsters need love, not just the classics.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

The Mummy (1999)

Frankenstein

Wishmaster (1997)

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Feast (2007)

IT (1990) & (2017)

The Descent (2005)

Jaws (1975)

Jeepers Creepers 1 + 2 (2001) & (2003)

Horror Express (1972)

Cold Ground (2017)

Devil's Pass (2013)

The Ruins (2008)

Cabin in the Woods (2011)

The Monster Squad (1987)

Under Wraps (1997)

The Babadook (2014)

Slashers

Because people are scary too.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Friday the 13th (1980)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Halloween (1978)

The Collector (2009)

House of Wax (2005)

The Strangers (2008)

The Crazies (1973) & (2010)

SAW (2004)

Scream (1996)

The Hills Have Eyes (1977) & (2006)

The Burning (1981)

The People Under The Stairs (1991)

Sleepaway Camp (1983)

Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Terror Train (1980)

Stage Fright (2014)

You Might Be The Killer (2018)

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

Hell Fest (2018)

Revenge (2018)

The Invitation (2016)

Audition (1999)

It Came From Space!

As if space isn't scary enough on it's own.

Includes: anything sci-fi related, not just space stuff.

The Thing (1982)

Alien (1979)

Predator (1987)

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Event Horizon (1997)

DOOM (2005)

Monsters (2010)

Re-Animator (1985)

Bride of Re-Animator (1990)

Pandorum (2009)

Chopping Mall (1986)

The McPherson Tape (1989)

Extraterrestrial (2014)

Always Anthology

The more the scarier!

Creepshow (1982)

Creepshow 2 (1987)

Tales from the Hood (1995)

V/H/S (2012)

V/H/S: 2 (2013)

V/H/S: 94 (2021)

V/H/S: 99 (2022)

Body Bags (1993)

Asylum (1972)

Trick 'r Treat (2015)

All Hallows' Eve (2019)

Holiday Specials

We can't leave out these holidays during spooky season!

My Bloody Valentine (1981) & (2009)

Prom Night (1980)

April Fool's Day (1986)

Black Christmas (1974)

[misespinas]

I know it doesn't matter what women wear when they are sexualized by men, because men sexualize women who live as modestly as possible. The genre of nunsploitation is proof of this:

The Lady of Monza (1969), The Nun and the Devil (1973), School of the Holy Beast (1974), Flavia the Heretic (1974), Suor Emanuelle (1977)

And these are just older films. The genre of nuns in porn is still very present.

A woman can take a vow of celibacy for life and all these men will think about is a) having sex with/raping these women or b) other woman sexually exploiting/abusing these women

[amazonarchy]

The Nun and the Devil (1973)

Le monache di Sant'Arcangelo

[mediamixs]

Top 10 horror movies about demons

The top ten horror movies about demons include:

The Exorcist (1973) - A classic masterpiece that shocked audiences with its terrifying portrayal of demonic possession.

Drag Me to Hell (2009) - A loan officer cursed by a supernatural entity in a chilling tale directed by Sam Raimi.

Prey for the Devil - A film that revisits the theme of demonic possession with a personal twist involving a nun and her past experiences.

Curse of the Demon - A genuinely scary classic horror film that delves into the occult and satanic cults.

Prince of Darkness - A late '80s horror film by John Carpenter that embodies the essence of demonic horror.

The Exorcism of God (2021) - A modern take on exorcism with a guilt-ridden priest facing the consequences of a past exorcism.

The Devil Inside (2012) - A film that keeps viewers guessing about the true nature of the terrors until the end.

The Devil's Doorway (2018) - A movie that explores the thin line between demonic possession and mental illness in a haunting setting.

The Wailing (2016) - A film that delves into the horrors of demonic forces in a mysterious and intense narrative.

Race the Devil - A unique film blending paranoia and satanic undertones in a thrilling storyline.

These movies offer a diverse range of demonic horror experiences, from classics like "The Exorcist" to more modern takes on the genre like "Drag Me to Hell" and "The Exorcism of God."

[herl0nelygh0st]

Which horror movie came out first to last???

Frankenstein 1931‐1935

I Was a Teenage Werewolf 1957

The Exorcist 1973‐2023

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1974‐2022

The Omen 1976‐1991

Carrie 1976‐1999

Halloween 1978‐2022

Alien 1979‐2017

The Amityville Horror 1979‐2017

Friday The 13th 1980‐2001

The Shining 1980‐2019

Evil Dead 1981‐2023

Poltergeist 1982‐1988

The Thing 1982‐2011

Cujo 1983

Christine 1983

Children of the Corn 1984‐2020

A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984‐1994

Predator 1987‐2022

Hellraiser 1987‐2018

Child's Play 1988‐2017

Pet Sematary 1989‐1992

IT 1990‐2019

Misery 1990

Candyman 1992‐2021

Leprechaun 1993‐2018

Scream 1996‐2023

Spawn 1997

The Devil's Advocate 1997

I Know What You Did Last Summer 1997‐2006

Idle Hands 1999

The Blair Witch Project 1999‐2016

Jeepers Creepers 2001‐2022

Signs 2002

The Ring 2002‐2022

SAW 2003‐2023

The Grudge 2004‐2006

Van Helsing 2004

House of wax 2005

War of the World's 2005

Constantine 2005

Silent Hill 2006‐2012 possibly to watch

Dead Silence 2007

Paranormal Activity 2007‐2021

I Am Legend 2007

Orphan 2009‐2022

Insidious 2010‐2023

Devil 2010

Let Me In 2010

The Wolfman 2010

The Cabin In The Woods 2011

You're Next 2011

The Woman in Black 2012‐2014

The Apparition 2012

The Tall Man 2012

Abraham Lincoln vampire hunter 2012

The Devil Inside 2012

Sinister 2012‐2015

The Conjuring 2013‐2021

The Purge 2013‐2021

The Call 2013

Carrie 2013

Mama 2013

Unfriended 2014‐2018

Annabelle 2014‐2019

The Possession of Michael King 2014

Ouija 2014‐2016

Robert 2015

The Witch 2015

The Visit 2015

Demonic 2015

Pay the ghost 2015

The Boy 2016‐2020

Split 2016

Lights Out 2016

The Bye Bye Man 2017

Happy Death Day 2017

The Crucifixion 2017

The Dark Tower 2017

Death Note 2017

Get Out 2017

The Babysitter 2017‐2020

The Nun 2018‐2023

A quiet place 2018

Antrum 2018

Slenderman 2018

Eli 2019

Glass 2019

Countdown 2019

Us 2019

The Curse of La Llorona 2019

ma 2019

The Invisible Man 2020

The Unholy 2021

Nope 2022

[andersonvision]

The Nun and The Devil was about the 20th Nun related movie I watched in the last quarter. Why is that? Well, because I got really into reading the 10th Anniversary Edition of House of Psychotic Women. The Nun and The Devil was mentioned a lot and my Italian genre deep dive knowledge is really lacking. I've improved some of it, but the team over at Genre Grinder still manages to be the top of the heap regarding it. So, what is a neophyte to make of The Nun and The Devil? Nuns aren't sexy. Italians and Brits and all them Euros love getting creepy with Nuns. Naturally, Italian cinemas demanded a lesbian sex drama starring a former Miss Britain as the lead sexy nun. About 30 minutes into The Nun and The Devil, I realized that I was watching The Little Hours if not played for comedy. Not being familiar with director Domenico Paolella, I immediately started looking up his prior work. The results were interesting, but not informative. Then, I tried to seek out the UK and US cuts of the film that attempted to rebrand this sex terror film into something that would play in those lands. The results were disappointing. So, what's the big takeaway of The Nun and The Devil. Well, if you ain't Ken Russell, then don't try stepping on his toes. This film is so far away from The Devils, that it might as well not have tried to step into the ring. Italian cinema of the 1970s Italian cinema of the 1970s really ran the gamut. The decade started off with the rise of Argento and the artfully designed Giallos, then ended with Fulci and others rising to Grindhouse power. That being said, it was a fascinating time to see a lot of new idea take form and break out of the dumping ground of American influence and start finding its way as a unique cinematic voice. That all would start to melt by the 80s, outside of Italian horror. But, it was a good effort. The Nun and The Devil isn't the best example of Italian cinema of the 1970s. It's interesting fare that will come up in many exploitation books and even House of Psychotic Women. So, if you're chasing down that kind of fare...give it a shot. Twilight Time and special features on disc The Nun and The Devil Twilight Time Blu-ray comes stacked with a commentary, interviews, featurettes and a trailer. When you hear the name Twilight Time, you pretty much expect it. I know things have changed since SAE took over after Nick Redman's death. But, damn...if I don't admire the effort so far. The A/V Quality is still the same as you can see in The Nun and The Devil screenshots. Plus, you get a non overpowering LCPM 2.0 that is true to the original theatrical exhibition. I love what we're getting here and I would wholeheartedly recommend giving it a watch. The Nun and The Devil is now available!

[little-miss-scare-all666]

The Nun and the Devil (1973)

(image: google)

[boag]

Alain de Botton, Essays in Love | Madonna - Like A Prayer | Like A Prayer official music video (1989, dir. Mary Lambert) | The Obsessives - You’re My God | John Keats, letter to Fanny Brown (Oct 13, 1819) | Depeche Mode - Martyr | The Nun and the Devil (1973, dir. Domenico Paolella) | Zolita - Holy | Nicole Dollanganger - 700 Club | Lana Del Rey - Religion

[little-miss-scare-all666]

The Nun and the Devil (1973)

[fignutonbar]

“In my dreams I often ask the nuns for forgiveness, but they cannot hear my pleas for they are far too entranced by the lord, and I cannot listen to their answers for I am far to entranced by the Devil.” -Sofia (Goncharov 1973)

[richmond-rex]

THE KING’S GREY MARE (★★☆☆☆) — reviewing the blueprint of all Ricardian novels

I debated with myself for a long time if I should try to write a review for this book. My dislike was so strong despite my already low expectations for the story, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to be impartial in my review. I’ve given up on trying to be impartial and instead decided to explain to you how I feel about this story. This is a not-so-short review of the historical fiction novel The King’s Grey Mare written by Rosemary H. Jarman. Read at your leisure!

The first thing I need to tell you is that this book is, as explained by @lady-plantagenet​, a story about Elizabeth Woodville, but not about Elizabeth Woodville’s life per se. Although it starts at the time of Elizabeth’s youth at the court of Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou (a theory that has been deemed unlikely by now) and ends at her death, the story follows a few other people near Elizabeth Woodville who impact on her life. The narration seems to be a strange mix of the third-person omniscient point of view and third-person limited. It’s like the narrator sometimes focuses on the thoughts of a certain person and that person impacts the way the narrative is told, even to the point of repeating what was said before. It sounds confusing, but Jarman strangely manages to pull it off. 

The second thing about this book is that it was published in 1973 and you can tell how dated it is, not only by the way the author chose to make Elizabeth Woodville a platinum blonde to convey her superior beauty—which weirdly became the standard portrayal for Elizabeth Woodville since then—but also by some very touchy aspects of the story that are racist, sexist, xenophobic, as well as scenes based on dubious consent that are meant to be read as the epitome of romance. Although the author claims to be sympathetic to Elizabeth Woodville, I thought she made a perverse use of this historical figure, depleting her of all internal logical and sensible actions, rendering her only a pretty doll filled with spite in order to be a channel for a literal demon, Melusine. Even Elizabeth’s mother, Jacquetta, is described as possessing ‘a devil-virgin’s smile’.

[Elizabeth] rose naked from the water and came to him, her wet hair shrouding her body like a tumult of silver weed. This was Isabella, his bride, no longer the image of an untouchable saint, but wanton, mischievous, maddening.

It is a pretty passage, but Jarman’s depiction of Elizabeth borders on dehumanising several times. Not even the man who loves her (in this case, John Grey) sees her as a person, but as a nymph, a demon. Throughout the novel, Elizabeth’s unnatural beauty is used against her to associate her with the water demon Melusine. It’s like the author punishes her for her beauty, the uncanny cold beauty the author herself decided to give her. Although Jarman tries to excuse the inexcusable actions she imparts on Elizabeth Woodville as choices beyond her control (as, according to her, Elizabeth was simply an instrument of fate), that does not explain why she makes Elizabeth so cruel and devoid of any kindness. In turn, it allows other characters to treat Elizabeth with the utmost harshness because, according to the story’s internal logic and evidence, she deserves it. This is Edward IV at the time he was supposed to have fallen in love with her, for pity’s sake:

He flung down the knife and sprang up. His towering shadow blotted the sun. He cursed her, calling her wanton, bloodless, jade, a whore that should be a nun, though there was no cloister devious enough to hold her.

Really, in face of his treatment, only Jacquetta’s witchcraft and a love potion could explain why Edward married Elizabeth at all, especially as in this story Edward IV is undoubtedly already married to Eleanor Talbot (and Elizabeth knows it). Elizabeth Woodville in this story submits to her mother’s grandiose dreams of making her queen of England so she can take revenge on Warwick and the house of York who slew her first husband, Sir John Grey, at the 2nd Battle of St Albans. No at any time she’s loyal to the Yorkist cause, which feeds on the Ricardian claim that the Woodvilles were Lancastrians painting themselves in Yorkist colours in order to snatch the crown and soil the throne with their impure and grasping blood. Elizabeth not only engineers the deaths of Warwick, Clarence and Desmond, but also is responsible for the murder of Desmond’s two little boys, something I had never heard anywhere. I can only assume it’s the author’s moralising justification for the way Elizabeth would come to lose her two children. At one point in the story, a random character asks: ‘Why is the Queen’s Grace so full of hatred?’

Of course, there’s no explanation for Elizabeth’s unrelenting unkindness other than it makes Elizabeth’s enemies, especially Richard III, look better in comparison. Whilst Elizabeth made her tongue the ‘tool of blackness’, Richard’s benedictions literally lift her unspoken curses against Warwick. Whilst she rages, plots revenge and pinches her daughter so hard it breaks her skin, Richard of Gloucester is so good not even his enemies can find a sensible excuse to hate him. This is Dorset and Elizabeth about Richard at different points in the story:

‘Richard of Gloucester,’ he added disdainfully. ‘The King’s pet and popinjay. He sickens me with his talk of loyalty, his fussing with weapons, his book-learnt strategy. And Edward listens to him.’

‘The people love Richard! They love him better than they loved his brother [citation needed]. They admire him for his new statutes and his justice. Whatever the barons say, he has won the people’s heart!’

Jarman couldn’t be more impartial in her story even if she tried. Richard’s enemies hate him because he is so [checks smudged writing on hand] loyal, learned, and loved by the people. At some point, inexplicably, Hastings decides to ally himself with Elizabeth—Jarman blames it on Elizabeth/Jane Shore seducing him to the Woodville side because, obviously under the sexist logic in which her story operates, with the exception of a few individuals all women do is lead men astray. Even as Hastings takes Elizabeth’s side, he hates her so much that his decision is only explained by the author’s internal need to make Richard of Gloucester execute him in an act of undoubted justice. In the story, they even say Hastings got a trial before his execution, something that did not in any way happen in real life.

Hastings about Richard of Gloucester: ‘Tomorrow I shall engineer the killing of one who was dear to me, to a man I loved. One who himself loved me well, who rode with me against Lancaster, when he was a sickly stripling youth. Gloucester, who took my hand, not two moons ago – Jesu! who took my hand today! – saying: ‘Thank God for you, Will Hastings. Thank God for you, in these times of strife and madness.’

Hastings about Elizabeth Woodville: ‘And Elizabeth, upon whose coming I once looked with spleen and disapproval, shall be again supreme. Elizabeth, who put down venom like a ratcatcher throughout the court. Elizabeth, whose policies are loathed by me. She who broke her sovereign’s heart with Desmond’s death, and used her brother like the most skilled provocateur to bring wretched Clarence to a bubbling end. Elizabeth, who split the soul of Warwick until he knew neither day from night, nor friend from foe. Elizabeth, whose messages I meekly bear, whose will I wreak! [...] Woodville and Lancaster wench, you never warmed my lust. Yet to Edward, you were Bathsheba, Salome …’

It is absolutely vile to say the least. You could say the author is simply being ‘historically accurate’ in depicting men’s hatred of women if the text itself didn’t justify this hatred. In fact, Elizabeth truly did everything that Hastings is accusing her of in this story. Men’s hatred against women is morally justified in this novel at every turn, so it makes it even more stunning how kindly Richard III treats women, even the ones who acted against him. He welcomes not only his nieces but also Elizabeth to his court even if no chronicle ever said that he did welcome Elizabeth, and he treats Elizabeth/Jane Shore with remarkable leniency. At no point in the novel it’s mentioned Richard made Shore perform a walk of shame in the city of London, or that he wrote to Shore’s second husband trying to dissuade him from marrying her.

‘That is Lady Lynom. She was released from prison last fall. She is married now to the King’s Solicitor-General.’ ‘But she was a traitor! Conspirator and harlot – condemned by the King!’ ‘He pardoned her,’ said the man, dipping his head on his chest as if to weight his words. ‘He showed her mercy.’

Parts of history are omitted, bent and twisted to satisfy Jarman’s vision of Richard III as a tragic benevolent king who met his unfair end at the hands of a spiteful woman & her grasping kin and by the devious plotting of a man & his mother led by their delusions of grandeur. The story makes it clear that England becomes a worse place after Henry Tudor takes over, and, shockingly but not completly unexpected, his Welsh and Breton men are blamed for much cruelty. At Elizabeth of York’s coronation, Jarman makes them massacre civilians and, disgustingly and pointedly, a little innocent boy. All because they were unaware of English customs and decided to attack the population when confronted by English people and their traditions. I was shocked, but unfortunately, xenophobia is not an uncommon aspect to be found amongst Ricardians when talking about the Tudors.

Weigh my words, and before you run back to your mistress shed a tear. For England and Plantagenet; their curse is accomplished.

‘After today, I have had enough of Tudor’s England. We will leave at once.’

Weirdly, and this will sound like going off on a tangent, this novel also depicts a character of colour, a character described as a ‘moor’ named Salazar who came from Spain after Tudor’s victory. For no reason, he acts as the novel’s magical negro for two seconds. Jarman describes him in terms such as ‘tall, coal-black and mysterious, more elemental than man’, ‘he gathered her to his coloured breast’, ‘he looked down at her, so fair and small against his own dark mystery’. I am....... disgusted, but I feel like it was important to point this out. There was literally no reason for Jarman to include this character of colour whilst being racist about this addition.

Everyone who is associated with the Tudors is described as visually repugnant: Reginald Bray is a shadowy man who stinks and lives ‘like a hog’; John Morton has a ‘bulky body’, a fleshy face, ‘all wattles and dewlaps’, a ‘lizard eye’. Henry Tudor himself is described as having ‘dry, rust-coloured hair’, an almost lipless mouth, eyes that ‘were as cold as a preying bird’s’ — to sum up: ‘he looked like a starved infant offering macabre love’. He’s nothing but a paranoid mess who literally pisses himself on the field of Bosworth, a man not ‘altogether sure of his own manhood’ who coughs as though he had always had tuberculosis, who is constantly looking for reassurance in the pikes of his bodyguards, who uses Elizabeth of York as a baby-maker, and who betrays Elizabeth Woodville and kills her sons in the name of some obscure motto (‘Tudor must destroy Plantagenet’). Disappointing but not surprising for such a novel.

Accordingly, even ‘neutral’ characters are unable to offer any sympathy for the Tudors. This is John Grey thinking about child bride and rape survivor Margaret Beaufort when she was still in her early teens:

Secretly he thought of Margaret Beaufort with distaste. She flaunted at court as if her descent were of the most royal. Her bravado made no pretence at covering old history. The Beauforts were merely descended from John of Gaunt and his mistress, Kate Swynford. Bastards all, legitimized by Richard II with the proviso that none of the line should ever aspire to the Crown. Yet Margaret strutted like an Empress; her small black eyes could intimidate. There was something unnatural about her.

‘Didn’t you know? She wed and buried him almost within the year. She has a son, Henry, two years old. Poor Edmund never saw the child.’ ‘Holy Jesu! What killed him?’ ‘Margaret’s terrible learning, so they say,’ chuckled John. ‘With her philosophy and Greek, her disputations and dissertations, Edmund, unsure of his own wit, pined and died.

I could go on and on about the double standards about the Beauforts and all the other Plantagenet bastards who are depicted as noble and praiseworthy in Ricardian novels but I’m tired and this review is already long enough. In this novel John of Gloucester, Richard III’s bastard son, is a fine youth whose only ‘fault’ is his undying loyalty to his father and who is unjustly framed and executed by Henry VII, something that didn’t happen in real life. He engages in a little unnecessary and dull romance plotline with his cousin Grace Plantagenet, Edward IV’s natural daughter who is one of the only good female characters in this novel. She loves Elizabeth Woodville even though Elizabeth is nothing but unkind to her—she loves Elizabeth like a dog loves its master despite the kicks it receives, presumably because for a Ricardian author there’s nothing more inspiring than the motto ‘Loyaulté me lie’ and loyalty beyond reason is the noblest quality a person can display. Grace is so good she even tames wild animals that set out to attack her.

In contrast, fair-weather Elizabeth of York is a fickle, insipid girl who cries at every turn only to laugh scandalously loud at the next moment. Interestingly though, perhaps to prove her weak character, she doesn’t cry at her father’s death, only when she hears she won’t be considered a princess anymore. Of course, she also cries when she’s about to marry Henry VII and when she’s jilted by Richard III, the uncle she fell in love with. She’s a girl who says ‘how should I know?’ when asked about her brothers, who is ‘content to lie and wait, and reckon nothing’. Ricardian authors often make use of Elizabeth of York to prove Richard III’s worthiness but they don’t even bother to give her a full-fleshed personality. Irrational behaviour is, of course, a trait that the younger Elizabeth shares with her mother, who comes to regret her spiteful behaviour at the end of her life, after she trusted Henry Tudor only to be betrayed and imprisoned by him. Henry is the one ‘who should have earned all her hatred, all her destructive powers. She realized numbly that these had been expended on others less worthy of them’.

Perhaps the vilest thing about this novel is the way it blames Elizabeth Woodville for the death of her two sons. Jarman even has Elizabeth admit that much to herself:

I killed them. She twisted, shuddering [...] I killed them. I among others put them to death by whispers, destroyed my sons through word of mouth [...] The souls of those I love, Melusine! and their bodies too! I killed them. Like the Greeks, who, to ensure victory, act it out beforehand, I wrote their doom in chapter and verse. I cleared the road for Tudor, Beaufort, Morton. And the man who kept my sons safe I had killed with ignominy.

What else can I say? This story has all the hallmarks of a true Ricardian novel: Social justice warrior Richard III, too good, too cultured, too pure for this world? Check. Irrational, wild, vengeful and coldly beautiful Elizabeth Woodville? Check. Jacquetta the love witch of Luxembourg? Check. Despicable Henry Tudor who literally pisses himself on Bosworth Field? Check. Crying mess Elizabeth of York in love with her uncle? Check. Fragile as glass Anne Neville doomed to die from the start? Check. Woodville women serving a vengeful, bloodthirsty demon named Melusine who gives them mysterious powers? Check, check and check. It’s so extra, it even has Bishop Morton raising a young Thomas More in his household with the purpose to create a true story master to blacken Richard III’s name forevermore.

What I didn’t know was that Rosemary Jarman was at least original about the above points and every other Ricardian novel that came after Jarman’s novel in fact took from her story. I’m giving it two stars because the prose is truly beautiful at times, and there’s some interesting use of narrative foils (for example, Elizabeth Woodville and her ‘sin-eater’ Grace Plantagenet) that would be better applied to original characters than pigeonholed into historical figures. It loses three stars for poorly veiled historical innacuracy, awful characterisation, and sexist, racist and xenophobic narratives. The narration is beautiful but at times hollow in my opinion, unable to inspire any emotion. If you’re one who is looking for beautiful prose but who gets angry at the twisting of historical facts, this is not a novel for you. It will only give you a headache.