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thetriumphantpanda · 2 years ago

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two is better than one | joel & tommy miller

Summary | Frustrated that whatever you're trying to do still isn't working, you decide to give it one more try with Joel before cooling off for a while. Tommy is back to keep an eye on the both of you this time, but what happens when he starts to feel a little left out, watching his brother bring his girl over the edge more times than he cares to count?

Warnings | I swear I always start this the same way so here we go: Tommy getting cucked but also getting involved this time 👀, Joel being a fucking menace, dirty talk, oral sex (F&M receiving), face sitting, breeding kink, unprotected PiV sex, talk of infertility, no use of Y/N

Word Count | 3.8k

Authors Note | Whew. When I tell you this little threesome has been rotting my brain, I'm not lying. This is the only thing I can focus on, hence them being updated so fast! I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you all for the continued love you're giving this series - it honestly blows my mind every time that it's something you guys enjoy, that my writing reaches so many people and that they lap that shit up. I'm so grateful to everyone who has taken the time to comment, send me asks, reblogs and those who have slid into my DMs with all the love. I see you, I hear you, and I love you all - thank you. I hope you enjoy this next part just as much as the rest - it's a doozy. You know the drill, if you did like it, please consider reblogging, commenting or sending the love to my ask box, it's what keeps me going. And if you'd like to leave me a tip (of course no pressure!), then here's my Ko-Fi.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Another month and another fucking negative pregnancy test. You knew it was irrational, but you were starting to think that maybe you were also part of the problem now. You’d been doing everything right, following all the advice in the books you’d bought almost a year ago when Tommy and you had first started trying for a baby. You’d been exercising, eating as healthily as possible, tried to keep yourself a stress-free as possible. You’d been keeping a close eye on your cycle and still, nothing to show for it.

When you clambered down the stairs, test in hand and flung it in Tommy’s direction, he already knew. He could see the heavy set of your shoulders, the quiet sniffling of you trying to hide the fact you were crying. Tommy had settled you on the couch, covered you in a blanket and made you some tea. Then he’d made your favourite meal for dinner, even driven to the store and picked up Diet Coke, emptied a can into a glass filled with ice and lime juice like you loved, but none of it really helped to soothe how upset you were.

The TV was on low, and he had your head in his lap, slowly stroking the strands of your hair as you tried to calm yourself down. Remind yourself that even the most fertile of couples needed to try for months sometimes before they had their first baby. It was stupid to think you’d be any different.

“You’re thinkin’ way too loud, sugar.” Tommy muses, letting his hand run up and down your arm instead.

“Sorry,” You mumble, “Just thought it would be easier.”

“I know,” He coos, “We can take a break for a while, if you want.”

You turn so you’re led on your back, looking right up at him, “I just want a baby.” You feel a tear slip down your cheek to pool near your ear.

Tommy uses his thumb to brush away the tears that have started to fall, bobbing his leg up and down gently to try and soothe you, “It’s still fresh,” He speaks softly, “Let’s give it a couple of days and see what you want to do, okay?”

You nod in agreement, feeling the beginnings of a headache pooling behind your eyes. You push yourself up into a sitting position and turn around to press a soft kiss to his lips, “I’m gonna go to bed,” You announce, “Headache.”

He lets you go, it’s still early and you know there’s the game highlights he wanted to watch. In bed, you can do nothing but toss and turn for a few hours. Every time you’d try to close your eyes, all you could see was vision of you and Joel, in all the different positions he’d put you in so far, and all for what? When the bedside clock hit 10:30, you head out to use the bathroom. As you near the door at the top of the stairs you can hear Tommy talking to someone, through the phone because his is the only voice you can hear.

“I know, brother, she’s just really beat up about it,” You hear him say, “I don’t know how to make it better.”

You lean against the closed bathroom door, wondering if perhaps you should leave Tommy to talk to Joel. There’s a pause where you can hear Tommy humming along to whatever Joel is saying on the other end of the phone.

“I dunno man,” Tommy sighs, “You managed to knock Sarah’s mom up on a one-night stand, guess I thought it would be easier for you.”

There’s another pause, then he’s speaking again.

“No Joel, all of her tests came back perfect,” Another sigh, “I was always the problem.”

You’re about to push down the handle to go to the bathroom when Tommy speaks again, “I don’t know, maybe we should just cool it for a while, we’re all gonna work ourselves up otherwise.”

You decide you don’t really want to hear the rest of the conversation. You sit on the toilet and let your face drop to your hands in frustration. Why couldn’t you just be normal? Why couldn’t you have been a nice, normal couple, having a baby in the most natural way possible? Why did this have to come along and fucking complicate everything? And why did Joel have to be so fucking good to you every time?

You wash your hands under the tap, water as scalding as it could go, just in order to feel something that wasn’t frustration before you head to bed. There’s no longer the sound of voices as you pad back across the hall and get back into bed, shutting off the lights and curling onto one side, knees as close to your chest as you can manage to get them. It’s not long before you can hear Tommy shuffling around upstairs. He pushes open the bedroom door quietly, obviously thinking you’re already asleep. You can hear him undressing before he's slipping onto his side of the bed, pulling your body close to his under the covers as he spoons you.

You let your own arm cover his over your waist as you lean back into the comfort of his chest, letting his breath fan across the skin of your shoulder as he presses a kiss to your skin.

“I wanna try again,” You speak softly into the dark, feeling Tommy’s arm’s squeeze you tighter, “Once more and then we cool it for a while.”

“You sure?” He asks into your ear, lips pressing to the sensitive skin behind your ear.

“I’m sure.” You respond, turning around in his arms to capture his lips in yours.

When the time comes to try again, it’s you who greets Joel at the door when he knocks. Tommy already upstairs and situated in the chair he had taken the first time you’d done this as a three. Joel leans down, lips just millimeters from your own, but instead of kissing your mouth, he places a soft kiss to your cheek instead.

“Hello, darlin’.”

You step up onto your tiptoes to press your own kiss to his face, just shy of the corner of his mouth – the kisses from last time still a secret between the two of you.

“Evening handsome,” You smile, pulling away from him to close the door as he steps inside, “You ready?”

“To give you what you want?” He smirks, “Always, pretty girl.”

You feel that telltale heat flush across your cheeks as Joel pulls you into his side, hand dipping down to squeeze your ass over the fabric of the robe you’d thrown on moments ago. God, why did he have to be so fucking intoxicating around you?

You take hold of his hand in yours, leading him up the stairs behind you. Tommy was reading a book as you entered the room, folding the corner of the page before setting it down on the nightstand closest to the chair. You can’t help but snigger as you watch him and Joel give each other the typical male greeting of a curt nod of the head.

You drag Joel by the arm to the foot of the bed, pushing his shoulders down so he sits on the edge. Then you take a step back and tug on the belt of your robe, letting it fall open and off your body to leave you completely naked in front of him. You watch his face as he trails those beautiful brown eyes over your body, letting out a low whistle of approval.

“Beautiful as ever, darlin’,” He compliments, reaching out a hand for you to take, “But you’re worked up, ain’t ya? And not in the good way.”

Your eyes flit to Tommy in the corner of the room, who has that smug ‘I told you so’ look on his face. You’d been itching for Tommy to arrange this since that ovulation test said you were in the zone, but Joel had been working away for the past two days, and now you were worried that if you didn’t hurry the fuck up, you’d miss your chance.

Joel reaches out and puts his hands on the back of your thighs, pulling you into him, he’s looking up at you, pressing hot kisses to the skin of your tummy, “Gotta relax babygirl,” He moans, “I’m tryin’ my damned hardest, but you just gotta let nature take its course.”

“Just frustrating.” You mumble.

“I know baby, I know,” He’s got his hands palming your tits now, “Long as I need to, I’ll keep fillin’ you up, y’hear me?”

Your breath catches in your throat and all you can do is nod as he moves himself back on the bed.

Joel leans back on the bed, his head just shy of the pillows, “Sit on my face, pretty girl.”

You’re almost embarrassed at how quickly you scramble yourself onto the bed, moving up to straddle his hips – even Tommy is chuckling from his chair.

“Can’t get enough of Joel’s mouth on your pussy, can you, sugar?” He speaks in a low voice.

Joel has his hands on your ass, guiding your naked body to hover over his face before his hands are slipping up to your hips to pull your cunt to his mouth. He wastes no time in getting straight to business, wide tongue licking stripes from your entrance, where he laps up your slick like a cat would cream, to those deliciously tight flicks of the tip of his tongue to your clit. You can hear him groaning into your pussy, your hand coming down to anchor itself into his hair to hold him still as you start grinding against his face.

You can hear the obscene slurps that he’s making underneath you, it’s half the reason you think it takes you no time at all to reach the edge, because he fucking enjoys this just as much as you do, he loves tasting you, loves making you feel good and you can feel that, can feel it on his mouth.

As you throw your head back as Joel’s tongue swipes perfectly across your clit, you catch Tommy in the corner of the room. He’s palming himself through his jeans as he watches you, your body writhing as his brother’s mouth brings you closer and closer to the edge. It wouldn’t hurt, would it? You think, if you asked if he wanted you to help him out.

“You feeling left out baby?” You coo, reaching your hand out for Tommy to take, “Joel gets my pussy tonight,” You punctuate with a grind of your pussy down onto his mouth, “But I can help you, if you want.”

He’s standing at the edge of the bed in minutes, his hand pressing into the back of your neck, not unlike how he tries to work the knots from there when you watch TV together. It’s soft and it’s loving and a complete juxtaposition to the vice grip that Joel’s fingers currently have on your hips.

Your lips are impossibly close to Tommy’s, you could easily lean forward and kiss him, instead, you have a demand, “Take off your pants.”

Tommy’s hands start to undo the belt holding his jeans up, so you turn your attention back to Joel between your thighs. He is expertly holding you right on the edge, you’re mewling and whining as he tongue works you to the edge, and then pulls away, moving down to gather more of your slick on his tongue.

You drop your head and catch his eyes looking up at you, “You gonna tease me all night, Miller?” You ask, voice cracking as he makes a point to suckle on your clit, making you cry out, “Fuck, make me come, please Joel.”

All of a sudden, Tommy’s hand is on your face, pulling your mouth to his own in a searing kiss as he guides your hand to his cock. You’re moaning, a combination of the fact that any second, Joel’s mouth is going to have you screaming and the fact that it’s Tommy kissing you, his cock you’re currently pumping through your fist. It’s delicious and it’s filthy and it should feel all shades of wrong, but it fucking doesn’t.

You feel it in your legs first, the way they begin to shake and pulse and your thighs clamp around Joel’s face. Then you feel it in your abdomen, like a knot unfurling all at once as pleasure bursts over every inch of your skin. Your mouth detaching from Tommy’s, so you can cry out his brother’s name as you feel yourself almost collapse onto him.

“Such a good girl,” Tommy breathes into your ear, your hand still firmly held around his cock, “So good when you come for us like that.”

You feel Joel’s hands tapping at the cheeks of your ass, telling you to lift yourself off his face which you do, dragging yourself down enough so that you’re sat across his chest, not caring that your leaking pussy is dragging slick all over him. His face is covered, covered in you. He’s grinning up at you like the devil, tongue circling his mouth to clean your taste from wherever he can reach.

“I gotta be inside you, pretty girl.” You can hear his gruff voice speak.

Tommy immediately moves back from you so you can settle yourself down on the bed. You start on your back, but Joel moves you to lie on your side. He’s still fully clothed behind you, but when he presses himself up against you, you can feel his thick cock straining in his jeans.

“Take your clothes off.” Is all you can manage to whine as Tommy settles on his knees on the space in front of you, taking the back of your head in the palm of his hand to bring your mouth to his cock.

Joel shuffles away from you and you feel the mattress lighten as he gets off the bed to shed his clothes. You almost wish you could watch, there’s something about the way Joel reveals his body to you that drives you wild. The way he drags his shirt off to reveal his broad frame, chest peppered with hair, or the way his cock bounces when he finally pulls off his underwear. But right now, you’re focused on making your man feel good.

You’re making sure that you’re doing it exactly as Tommy likes, almost telling him through the ministrations of your mouth how grateful you are for him, for this being his idea, for loving you enough and trusting you enough to let someone else give you what he cannot. You’re giving all the attention of your tongue to the head of Tommy’s weeping cock, tasting the salt and musk of his pre-cum, using one had to pump the base of his cock.

You can feel Joel settle back behind you, pressing his entire body against your own, hard cock slipping through the slick folds of your cunt as he settles himself in the right position, then, he’s taking hold of your leg, hand in the crux of your knee to pull it up, baring his prize. He slowly inches his cock inside your tight heat and suddenly it’s all a little overwhelming.

You’re giving the love of your life the kind of head you’ve only ever seen in porn, Tommy taking most of the control to thrust in and out of your mouth. You’re pretty sure the tears falling from your eyes are a mixture of his length hitting the back of your throat and the overwhelming emotion, love, and admiration you feel for both the men who are crowding your body, owning it, taking what they both want, one of them hopefully leaving you with what you want.

You pull your face away from Tommy’s cock for a moment, still giving his length the attention it needs, but you let yourself lean into Joel behind you, his cock still moving languidly inside you. He’s got one of his arms snaked under your neck, your head leant against his arm like a pillow, his other hand holding your leg up so that every time his cock brushes inside you, it’s hitting that damn spot that makes you want to cry.

“Look at you, lucky girl,” Joel growls into your ear as his lifts your leg up higher, pushing it almost to lie flat aagainst your side, “One cock in that pretty little pussy, another in your mouth,” You let a moan, muffled by the fact that Tommy is currently doing a slap-up job of fucking your throat, “He’s a lucky man,” Joel speaks again, “Bet that mouth feels divine.”

“You ask nicely, she might oblige you, brother.”

You feel him puff air through his nose in a chuckle, “I’m quite happy right where I am,” He speaks, pumping his cock so deep inside you that you actually think you can see stars, “You’re a lucky son-of-a-bitch gettin’ this for the rest of your life.”

“She’s special, I’ll give you that.”

It’s like you have to prove him right now. You can feel the walls of your pussy clenching around Joel as he picks up his pace. You can feel his balls slapping into your skin with every thrust, the power behind them causing your mouth to take Tommy cock deeper into your mouth every time.

“Sugar, I ain’t gonna last much longer.” You hear him speak from above you.

You pull off him, again letting your hand work him as you look up at his through your lashes, “You want me to swallow for you, baby?” You asked, wondering what you must look like when he looks down at you, fucked out from his brother, begging for him to come down your throat.

“There’s an offer I cannot refuse,” Tommy grins, letting your mouth take him back inside the warmth, “Such a good girl.”

He only lasts a few more seconds, cum hitting your tongue and seeping down your throat. You swallow down every drop, grinning up at Tommy. He leans down and plants a kiss to your lips, and now your focus is on Joel, thick and solid, pumping his cock in and out of you.

“You focus on Joel now, sugar,” He croons, “I’m gonna sit back and watch you have fun.”

As soon as Tommy has moved away from you, Joel is pulling his cock from your pussy, turning you onto your back before he’s crowding his frame over you, settling between your thighs. You’re pliant and you move easily when he hooks your legs over his shoulders, folding you back as he slips his cock back inside you.

You’re gripping his arms as he fucks into you in earnest now, tip of his cock bruising your cervix with every thrust, you know he’ll have half-moon shaped marks on his arms come the morning, they’ll match the bruises he always leaves on your hips, the shape of his fingertips indented into your skin.

“God fuckin’ damnit,” Joel groan, head falling to the column of your throat to graze teeth and lips over your delicate skin, “Gonna come so deep in this fuckin’ pussy it won’t have a choice but to take, you hear me, pretty girl?”

“Fuck!” You exclaim, as he shifts just enough to change the angle that his cock is spearing into you, “Joel please.”

“Please what?” He teases, “What do you want, babygirl?”

“Inside,” You breath out, “Want you inside.”

“Yeah, want me to make you a mama?” You can feel tears pooling in your eyes, “No need to cry, pretty girl,” He leans down, folding you in half even more, almost uncomfortable, to kiss away the tears, “Gonna give you what you need.”

He thankfully moves back a little, stopping your bones from screaming at you for being folded so inhumanely, then his thumb is on your clit, “Only gonna make you a mama if you come with me,” Joel smirks, “Deal?”

“Oh god – fuck – whatever you want,” You cry, “Please, give me what I want.”

His thumb is relentless on your already sensitive clit, those tight circles have you clenching around him and when you look into his eyes you know he’s just as close as you are, “That’s it baby, you keep those big, beautiful eyes on me,” Joel’s hips are snapping into your with a force you didn’t know you could feel, it’s entirely too much and entirely too little all at the same time, “Can feel that tight little pussy suckin’ me in,” You cry out as his thumb falters and drags across your clit in a way that has that not threatening to unfurl yet again, “It’s alright baby, if you come, I’ll follow, yeah?”

That’s exactly what happens. His thumb traces wet circles over your clit and you do exactly as he says. You keep your eyes wide open, staring directly into his own, as your mouth falls open with a screech as your vision clouds. Whatever happens, Joel is right behind you, his cock pounds into at most, twice more, before he’s growling your name through his teeth, cum painting every inch of your pussy. He drops your legs from his shoulders, and falls forward, letting his head rest in the crook of your neck as you both fight to catch your breath.

You wrap your arms around him but it’s all too soon before he’s pulling himself out of you, a kiss to your cheek as he does so. You’re spent and you’re aching and if you’re honest, a little overwhelmed. Joel dresses quickly, and you wish you could ask him to stay, wish he didn’t feel the need to run away, but you know it’s for the best. Tommy tells you he’ll see him out and come to bed, so you roll over and pull yourself under the sheets, trying to warm yourself from the cool air that’s spattering across the sweat of your skin.

Tommy is back within minutes having seen Joel off. He shed his clothes and moves right up behind you, gathering you into his arms. He takes some time to press kisses into your neck and across your shoulders and for some reason, it sets your belly on fire. How have you been fucked so thoroughly by another man, this man’s own brother, and now you’re aching for this man behind you.

“I love you so much, Tommy,” You whisper into the dark, clutching at his arms wrapped around you, “So fucking much.”

“I love you too baby,” He whispers into your ear, stilling your hips as they grind back into him, “Enough of that, I’ll give you what you want tomorrow.”

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bengiyo · 8 months ago

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Love Sea: Tongrak is Kind of an Asshole, and I Like It

I watched this yesterday with some friends, so my Stray Thoughts were a little scattered because we were talking about BL conventions, Thailand's tourism goals, and who MAME was. Now, with some time to think, I wanna talk about my favorite thing: Tongrak is a rich asshole. I love this for Fort and Peat.

He Looks Down on People Poorer Than Him

We open with Tongrak dressed inappropriately for his trip and the weather, whining on his phone, just to show his disdain for even being sent on this vacation.

Then when he first arrives on the island, he looks around at people enjoying themselves and a sign they dedicated to their home reading "Heaven on Earth" and immediately called it hell. This is these people's home! He is a guest! I deal with this show in my home city all the time. Be respectful!

Next, the first thing he does is start shouting at Mahasamut about the motorcycle and his luggage. He doesn't slow down to ask if Mut can speak the central dialect, or if there are alternative modes of transport. Instead he just screams at the man and then starts talking shit in front of him like he can't understand what is being said. I give Americans shit for doing this in other countries, and I give northerners shit for acting like they can't understand our accents down here along the Gulf.

He was rude about that bar, too. He went there for attention, and got pissed at the idea that people there might be into Mut more.tjsn him. He then stormed off without paying for his drink!

This man is so stubborn and petty that he literally just starts sending him thousands of baht instead of just asking him to speak in the same dialect as him. I'm totally with Mut on not speaking to him nicely until Tongrak did it first. What's so wild about this scene is that it's text that Rak is mad that his condescension is having no effect.

Mahasamut is Responding to Tongrak's Energy

Mut is just responding to what Rak is giving him, and is doing everyone a favor by bearing the brunt of this spoiled man's fits. He was even kind enough to let this man know right away that he could understand him.

The big thing for me is he can see when Rak is trying to get one over on him and turns that around. Rak tried to play like he had the upper hand sexually and felt played. He tried to play about being full and got played.

We see that the people of the island admire Tongrak, and he's involved in their lives. He's clearly playing a role here that Rak's friends hired him to play to help their cranky friend relax and finish his book.

I also like that Mut has made it clearly he is down to fuck with Rak whether he pays for it or not, because Rak is trying to hook up with someone for inspiration for his novel. I like that he removed the wealth component there, because it's clear Rak is used to throwing money at all of his problems.

Finally, Mut stopped immediately when he realized he'd actually scared and upset Rak. He doesn't actually want to hurt this man.

Why This Rocks for Peat and Fort

These two found a good rhythm in Love in the Air. They're good at this form of asymmetric bickering and flirtation. However, this time Peat gets to play the older, richer character. It's fun for me, because I think there's going to be a bunch of transference from LITA that covers how much of a jerk Rak is being to others.

I am glad that these two aren't reprising the same characters, and are being given a reasonable way to take advantage of their existing dynamic and tools. It's interesting that these guys can tap into similar beats without it feeling like the same characters.

On the Colorism

I see it, and it's there. However, I don't think MAME is an outlier in using it in her shows. There's a really rough sequence in Fish Upon The Sky (with Neo no less) that comes to mind immediately. I also just think that the skin tone stuff seems built in to a lot of the works we encounter (especially considering that some of these guys are literally brand ambassadors for skin lightening products or clinics). I think there's something to say about the way Mut is teasing Rak with a country bumpkin bit that could almost be read as race play, and there's maybe something to unpack there with far more nuance than I think we normally bring to BL.

But hey, while I have you here, now's a good time to say that if we want to tackle how race affects the queer experience, For The Boys is right there!

#Ben writes #love sea #love sea the series #bl meta #thai bl #bl series

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yerimacoustic · 5 months ago

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𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♡ 𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

❝ 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞’𝙢 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙞 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

summary : after impulsively quitting your job and moving back to your hometown, you reconnect with a childhood friend of yours and rekindle your relationship. you even take the opportunity to get closer to your former crush upon realizing he actually does know you exist. however, you realize that you might be in over your own head when faced with complications involving family, responsibilities, and love.

content warnings : librarian!boo seungkwan x gender neutral reader, college professor!oh sehun x gender neutral reader, EXTREMELY slow burn, implied love triangle, childhood friends to (eventual) lovers, swearing, stress and angst, banter, very very brief mention of implied death, not proofread. 11.6k wc. mostly inspired by kdrama : love next door, it’s the ‘it’s always been you’ trope you guyssss

soundtrack : those eyes by new west, scott street by phoebe bridgers, ceilings by lizzy mcalpine, i hear a symphony by cody fry, the loneliest time by carlie rae jepsen, always been you by chris grey (will add more)

additional notes : this is going to be a multiple part series! i’m talking about EXTREMELY slow burn. don’t mind me adding sehun into the mix, i am a big fan of his lately.

it felt like nothing had changed. the pavement on the sidewalks was still loose, the grass near the empty fields was still much too tall.. everything was still so close. that was, of course, the main reason why you instructed your uber driver to drop you off at the coffee shop near your house. heaven knew you needed the extra ten minutes to clear your mind with the help of some fresh air, anyways.

you didn’t see yourself coming back home, not for a while at least. the plan had always been simple: graduate college, get a well-paying job, get married, start a family.. well, at least, your parents had always found it to be simple. you made it to step two, which you were able to give yourself at least some credit for.. unfortunately that was short lived, considering that one day at lunch with your boss, you made an impulsive decision to quit your job.

you stopped in place at a familiar crack in the pavement, one that you remembered tripping over and promptly falling off your bike several times in your youth. how in the world were you supposed to face your mother and father? how were you supposed to summon the courage to tell them that you were currently unemployed and had no current plans for the future? that you were too burned out and exhausted to even begin looking for a new job?

maybe a nice cup of coffee would provide all the answers… except they were closed. shit.

the only thing left to do, obviously, was to procrastinate going home as much as possible. which, of course, meant exploring the street you knew like the back of your hand. the benches near the coffee shop looked exactly the same, the tiny post office, the library.. wait.

the library!

luckily, they stuck to the same schedule implemented from the time you were working there, which meant you had less than thirty minutes to step inside. as you swung the door open, the loud bell announced your arrival- not that it startled you. you’d grown numb to the loud clanging sound, almost as if you had been conditioned. once inside, you were greeted by the nostalgic smell of parchment and cinnamon, comfortable silence and dimmed lighting. there were two other patrons in there that you knew of, who were quietly huddled in the corner reading separate books.

stepping up to the front desk, you looked around the calming, tranquil space with a content grin. much like everything else in town, the library had stayed exactly the same. there were still paintings of landscapes and skylines scattered along the walls, a fireplace in the back area, comfortable bean bags and rugs… and..

“seungkwan?” you whispered, your eyes going wide.

the young man in question was pushing a cart of books with his back towards you and had already begun to carefully set them down on the nearest shelf before he heard someone speaking behind him. the last person he expected to see standing behind his counter was you. as far as seungkwan knew, you had no plans of returning home.

his eyes went wide as he turned back, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. he did his best to keep his voice down as he saw you and stood frozen in place for a moment, dumbfounded. “y/n??”

you smiled sheepishly upon taking note of your childhood friend's reaction. it was truly one for the books, but you still couldn’t hold back from teasing him, whispering, “well are you just gonna stand there or…?”

“ugh, fine. get over here.” seungkwan let out a mocking huff of annoyance before carefully setting the last book down on the cart and rushing to you. he flung his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a tight hug, one that seemed to convey all the sentiments that had been lost to you for four years now. all of the tight hugs, the words of affirmation, the quality time spent after school and work..

he finally spoke up again, making no effort to keep his voice lowered down. “what are you doing here? how long are you in town?”

you chuckled awkwardly, waiting for just a moment longer to break out of his embrace. “um..indefinitely?”

seungkwan’s eyes narrowed. “whoa.. i didn’t think those big shots in the city would let you take an indefinite hiatus...”

“oh.. yeah, what can i say? they love me over there.” you mocked a hair flip for dramatic effect, earning a scoff from seungkwan.

“well hopefully your work ethic’s better now than when you were working here with me.” he rolled his eyes while reminiscing several shifts gone wrong in your time together at the library. they still blew his mind several years later; how difficult could it be to work in a building full of books?

you furrowed your eyebrows. “what are you talking about? i was your favorite coworker.”

“nuh uh, you were my only coworker. big difference.” seungkwan waved a finger to you with a growing smirk, his eyes still narrowed.

you swatted his shoulder. you would never admit out loud that you definitely were not the best employee, that you would rather spend the day reading or distracting seungkwan as much as you could than get any actual work done. still, you hoped that at the very least, seungkwan enjoyed his time with you. “come on. you know i made things more entertaining around here.”

your best friend let out a prolonged sigh as he made a dramatic show of pulling off his striped apron and folding it over the front desk. “i guess.” he paused, rolling up the sleeves of his large sweater to his elbows before folding his arms. “have you been home yet?”

your heart skipped a beat at the sudden confrontation. “well.. not exactly. my plane just landed.”

“really? i’m surprised that your folks didn’t come pick you up from the airport..” he shook his head, a grin of amusement slowly starting to surface. seungkwan seemed to have been gifted with intuition after years of being your closest friend; judging by your body language, alone, he could tell that something wasn’t quite right.

“about that,” your tone suddenly grew hushed as you rubbed the back of your neck. “i didn’t exactly tell them i’m coming home.”

“hmm?” seungkwan furrowed his eyebrows. “why wouldn’t you tell them something like that?”

you parted your lips before the proper excuse could come to mind. but.. neither of their birthdays were coming up. it wasn’t a holiday. and you definitely had nothing exciting to share with them in person. you barely made a sound before the loud bell across the room announced someone else’s arrival. your heads snapped towards the doorway, your own eyes going wide at the revelation..

“hey sehun,” seungkwan greeted halfheartedly, as if it was customary for the other man to show up fifteen minutes before closing. he moved to stand behind the counter while you stayed frozen in place, watching the taller man make his way to the two of you.

sehun was exactly how you remembered him too. tall, stoic, smartly dressed.. classically handsome. in the four years you’d been gone, you hadn’t forgotten about the infatuation you had developed with him in college. not completely, at least. he carried a large pile of books in his arms, which he set down carefully on the counter in front of him. “hey, thanks for helping me out. you’re a lifesaver.”

“no problem.” seungkwan went to work immediately, starting to log the books sehun had borrowed into the ancient computer resting on the counter. he glanced to you before explaining, “sehun got that teaching degree. he comes in here every so often to borrow some extra books they don’t have on campus.”

just as you nodded in understanding, sehun looked over his shoulder to see you already staring at him. his eyes went wide as he wore a deeply apologetic expression, “oh! hey..y/n. it’s y/n, right?”

“yeah, yeah, that’s right,” you chuckled.

“it's good to see you,” he grinned modestly, turning his back on seungkwan in favor of facing you fully. “i haven’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”

“i relocated for work after graduating but..i’m back here now.” you punctuated your statement by shrugging halfheartedly, chuckling under your breath. to tell the truth, you were surprised sehun had even noticed you were missing; he never paid much attention to you in school. it wasn’t like you were nonexistent, but more like he always had something else on his mind.

“indefinitely,” seungkwan chimed in, much to your annoyance.

sehun raised an eyebrow. “indefinitely?”

you felt as if the two of them had backed you in a corner. it was difficult to ignore seungkwan as he leaned over the counter with his chin resting in the palm of his hand, an amused grin bringing you to clench your jaw. “well..”

“and she didn’t even tell her parents,” seungkwan whispered, as if the three of you were in a gossip session. he smirked to you, knowing fully well that you would have lunged for him if sehun wasn’t in the room.

“i’m sure they’ll be excited to see you visiting them. indefinitely.” sehun, of course, was oblivious to seungkwan’s antics. he kept his back turned on him as he focused on you, waiting almost too patiently for you to explain your motives.

just before you could mutter a ‘thank you’ to him, seungkwan cut you off once again, “by the way, when you say indefinitely, what exactly do you mean?”

in that moment, you crafted a plot in your mind to jump over the counter the minute sehun would close the door behind him. seungkwan had always known of your interest in sehun, so.. you could give him the benefit of the doubt and excuse his actions by saying he had good intentions. but there was something deep inside you nagging and arguing that he was only trying to embarrass you.

“well..” you muttered, prompting seungkwan to lean in comically close over the counter. unfortunately, whether you liked it or not, you came to the realization that your close friends and family would eventually find out the truth.. so it was better to bite the bullet. “forever?”

“forever??” seungkwan asked incredulously.

in that moment you had completely abandoned all intentions of giving your best friend the benefit of the doubt and instead wondered if seungkwan truly would stop at nothing to humiliate you. the look of intrigue donned by sehun almost caused your heart to stop beating in your chest completely. “forever,” you repeated quietly.

and although sehun showed no signs of disgust or disapproval, you wondered what he truly thought of you. he must have thought so lowly of you, unemployed and forced to move back in with your parents with no prospects or plans of any sort... as much as you would have liked to tell yourself you were most likely overthinking the tension rising between the three of you, it was part of your nature to assume the worst.

sehun’s expression of intrigue was quickly replaced by one of reserved shock; he wasn’t sure how to respond. he wanted to handle the situation (if one could even call it a ‘situation’) with delicacy without seeming like he was tiptoeing around it. it was quite the contrast from seungkwan’s reaction; your best friend looked like he would soon pass out due to the color draining from his face. seungkwan, who was visible just behind sehun’s shoulder, slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his gasp.

of course. he always had a flair for the dramatics.

sehun cleared his throat, as if to defuse the tension in the space between the three of you. the air had felt much more constricting until he snapped you out of your shame induced gaze. “thanks again, seungkwan. same time tomorrow?”

“maybe a few more minutes before closing.” seungkwan was quick to smile enthusiastically, with authenticity rather than cruel irony, towards the other man. he even went so far as to punctuate his statement with an amused chuckle.

“right, sorry,” sehun nodded apologetically. he knew he had a bad habit of bothering seungkwan, who was generous enough to help him even in the most inconvenient times, but there was no use trying to adjust his schedule to his own liking. he looked to you just as he turned towards the exit, a smile barely reaching his eyes. “see you around.”

somehow, you weren’t hyperfocused on the fact that he seemed to disappear before you could gift him a proper goodbye. once the loud bell signaled his absence, you reached across the front counter to swat at seungkwan’s shoulder. a high pitched shriek flew from his lips, but it didn’t startle you enough to back away from him. “what was that for?” he demanded with a pout.

“you know damn well! he probably thinks i’m some deadbeat now.”

“why, because you got fired?” seungkwan regretted his teasing remark the second he saw you wind back your hand to swat his untouched shoulder, his hands flying to shield his face. “wait! wait, stop! truce! truce!” the sigh of relief he let out once you finally relented was almost comedic. “you didn’t get fired, did you?”

you folded your arms across the countertop with a huff, avoiding his eyes. although sehun’s opinion meant a lot to you, it was nothing compared to how seungkwan perceived you. you grew up with him, after all. “no. i quit.”

“why?”

“does it matter?” those three words came out in a much harsher, more defensive tone than you had anticipated. it was too late to apologize by the time you had processed the gravity of your words, or the effect they had on your best friend.

seungkwan matched your energy, his eyebrows raised as his tone grew just a tad harsher, as well. “well… yeah? you’re throwing a lot away. you know it’s really hard to get a job these days. you were really lucky.”

you huffed. “please, seungkwan, spare me. i’ve already been preparing for that lecture from my parents.”

“well, what do you want me to say instead?” he snapped, folding his arms across his chest. those words stung in your chest, as if the blade had been laced with venom. out of all of the people you expected to be this harsh with you, the last person on your list was boo seungkwan.

you furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up and letting your arms fall from the counter in favor of relaxing at your sides. “nothing.” you paused before mustering up the courage to speak again, swallowing. “it was great to see you.”

you took long strides towards the door, ignoring seungkwan’s protests even as his voice grew nearer. only when you felt his hand grip onto your forearm did you finally turn back to face him, a deadpan expression dulling your features. quite the contrast from his look of pleading, sorrow filling his eyes. always the flair for the dramatics. “don’t go. please?” he paused, searching for an answer within your irises. “if i know anything about your parents, they’re gonna be pissed. we need a game plan.”

“‘we?’” you asked him quietly.

“yeah. we’re in this together.” he hooked his arm around yours, his words and the tight grip on your upper arm prompting a rush of nostalgia to numb your mind for the time being.

“but first, we need to grab some dinner.” your eyes lit up, accentuating your smirk as you heard seungkwan groan next to you in annoyance.

—----------------

“i hardly see how grabbing sandwiches is going to help the situation.” even so, seungkwan dipped his grilled cheese in the flavorful tomato soup in front of him, letting out a content sigh once the taste of basil and sourdough lingered in his mouth.

“comfort food always helps keep one level headed in stressful situations. i thought you knew that,” you took a large bite from your own sandwich, as if the exaggerated actions would punctuate your words.

of course, seungkwan knew you brought up a great point; he didn’t raise that argument when the two of you grabbed brunch before taking finals or when he ordered takeout while both of you spent the entire night applying for jobs. after all, the two of you shared a similar love of food for as long as you could remember.

“yeah, but doesn’t it just feel like we’re prolonging the inevitable?” seungkwan’s words were slightly muffled as he chewed politely on his sandwich.

unfortunately, he brought up a great point, as well. that was the whole reason you found yourself in his family’s library in the first place: to prolong the inevitable. you swallowed nervously as an image of the disappointment on your mother’s face flashed in your mind, dabbing at the corners of your lips with a napkin. “no. i’m starving. i haven’t eaten since noon.”

seungkwan let out an audible sigh, which inevitably earned him an eye roll. “sure, we’ll go with that excuse.”

furrowing your eyebrows, you straightened out your shoulders. “excuse me, have you seen how my mom is when she gets angry?”

“of course i have. i was there when you cut the bangs off of all of her porcelain dolls because ‘you wanted to see their eyes.’” he dropped his spoon to add air quotes to the last part of his statement, much to his own amusement.

your eyes grew nearly twice their size as you watched the man in front of you take a sip of his iced water with such infuriating casualness. “not only were you there, but you helped me cut their hair!”

“what? you don’t expect her to raise her voice at her best friend’s child, do you?” he feigned an expression of innocence, his eyes going wide as he pursed his pouty lips.

you huffed, “no. only because she’s always held you up on a pedestal. i swear, it’s like she’s always wanted to switch children with your mother.”

seungkwan laughed, a little too loudly for your liking. not that his laughs weren’t always adorable and endearing, of course. it was his next statement, however, that caught you off guard: “don’t say that.”

of course, the shock didn’t stop you from taking another jab at him. “no, really. you’ve heard her talk about how badly she wanted a son multiple times.”

seungkwan began to laugh again as more and more memories started coming back to him. your mother had always greatly esteemed him, held him to the highest regards.. to say that he didn’t appreciate those sentiments would be a lie. especially since there were plenty of occasions he could think of where he desperately needed the praise. his only wish was that she extended them towards her own child. “i’m sure that she would change her mind if her wish was ever granted,” he rationalized, still not quite eliminating the laughs escaping his lips.

you snickered. “yeah. i’m sure she would.” both of you sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, savoring the last few remnants of your respective meals. you, however, couldn’t stand listening to the daunting sound of your own heart racing in your chest and spoke up, “how are things going with the library?”

seungkwan wasn’t expecting you to bring up such a delicate subject of his own at a time like this. he knew that you were already under a great deal of stress and didn’t want to add another burden onto your shoulders. that was why he spoke so dismissively, “things are…fine. pretty busy.”

“just busy?” after you had successfully folded your napkin into something that vaguely resembled a swan, you lifted your head up with every intention to meet his gaze. only to look directly past his shoulder and draw in a shaky breath. “shit..”

“what??” seungkwan instantly demanded an answer and furrowed his eyebrows, watching you pull the hood of your jacket over your head and hunch your shoulders over.

“look behind you. don’t make it obvious.” seungkwan muttered to himself before turning around in his seat to get a better look at your mother and another close friend of hers sitting across the restaurant, making no effort to be discreet. you immediately hissed in annoyance, “goddammit, i said don’t make it obvious!”

“geez, sorry.” seungkwan snapped his head back towards you, tilting his head to the side as he saw you duck under the table. suddenly, his eyes lit up as he leaned down to get a better look at you crouched down on the floor. “hey.. now seems as good a time as any to go and talk to her!”

you gasped, “are you kidding me? she’ll cause a huge scene! we better just make a run for it. i was never one to dine and dash but i guess there’s a first time for everything.”

seungkwan rolled his eyes and got to his feet, reaching for your hand. “come on, i’ll be right there beside you. who knows, she might actually take it well? she wouldn’t want to risk embarrassing herself in public, would she?”

“no, but she wouldn’t care about embarrassing me in public.” you refused to take his hand in favor of wrapping both arms around the leg of the table. “now lemme know when it’s a good time to crawl out of here.”

seungkwan laughed, thoroughly amused by your antics. “no. come on, its time to face your fears.” he crouched down again, hooking both hands around your arm.

“seungkwan, no-” you tried to keep your voice down while keeping a firm grip on the table’s wobbly leg.

seungkwan clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, a scolding expression overtaking his features as he shook his head. “i can’t believe you would risk getting arrested to avoid having an adult conversation with your mom. absolutely shameful. come on.”

you shuddered out of his touch, pouting. “but i’m not ready! please, can we just wait an hour or so until they’re done..”

suddenly, seungkwan threw his head back with a loud groan of annoyance and prompted you to put a finger to your lips. “no. there’s no time like the present, come on!” despite your relentless hold on the table, your persistent arguing and whines of annoyance, seungkwan fell to his knees in an effort to successfully pull you out from under the table. he felt like he was wrangling a stubborn toddler. “jesus, you were worried about your mom making a scene?”

just then, a voice behind seungkwan’s figure called to you, “y/n?”

seungkwan looked back before scooting away from you to give you a clear view of your mother standing with her arms folded. when he got to his feet, you moved out of the way just enough for you to see her close friend in question standing next to her. the two older women stood like a pair of identical twins with their arms folded and their heads cocked to the right. you waved to the two of them, suddenly feeling much more vulnerable under the table. “heyyy mom..”

just as you looked up, you got the opportunity to witness seungkwan realize the gravity of the situation in real time. his lips pressed to a thin line as he looked off to the side, making no attempts to alleviate any suspicious appearances or keep up any innocent appearances. much to your surprise, your mother paid no attention to the man she considered her perfect son in another life. she scoffed incredulously, “come here! what are you doing here?”

you brushed off your dress pants as you slowly began to emerge from your hiding place. “i wanted to catch up with seungkwan before heading home..”

your mother wasted no time shaking her head and cutting you off, “you know what i mean.”

you looked to seungkwan with desperation in your eyes, as if asking him speechlessly to do the talking for you. he’d always had a much better way with words than you did, especially whenever your mother was concerned. she always seemed to hear him out. however.. he stayed silent. his eyes went wide once they met yours, as if trying to communicate back to you without words.

you knew right then and there that you were on your own.

“it’s kind of a long story..”

—----------

needless to say, your mother did not take the news very well, seeing that you were now lying in the fetal position on seungkwan’s bed, tugging his small blankets closer towards your shivering figure. none of it felt.. real. your mother yelling at you and chastising you in public, seungkwan trying desperately to intervene until his efforts proved to be fruitless, the four of you getting removed from the restaurant.. but what seemed to remain frozen in your mind was the look on your mother’s face.

there was so much to be said from the look in her eyes alone, irises filled with.. hatred. the mere thought of it made you shudder.

the image of seungkwan stepping out of his tiny bathroom in an oversized t-shirt and shorts was enough to pull you out of your miserable thoughts. for the most part. “glad to see you made yourself at home,” he teased you and made his way to the bed, grabbing a spare blanket and pillow.

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him tuck the bedding under your arm. “hey. you’re not sleeping on the floor.”

“you’re right. i’m sleeping on the couch,” seungkwan replied without skipping a beat. he ran a hand through his chestnut hair, which was already tousled from the headband he’d worn just minutes before he joined you. “goodnight.”

“wait-” you called to him just as he turned on his heel in favor of walking towards the door. then you watched in amusement as he let out a huff of mock annoyance and turn to face you with raised eyebrows. “please.. please stay with me. i don’t want to be alone right now.”

sleepovers weren’t a foreign concept to you and seungkwan. there were countless nights where study sessions, late night chats, and carpooling after parties led to impromptu sleepovers. it reached the point where both of you had extra toothbrushes and other toiletries waiting for the other. you never seemed to stay far from each other, even in slumber; usually the two of you ended up on the couch together.

it was nothing. neither of you thought anything of it, because you didn’t have to. yet.. there was a sense of timidity within his demeanor as he stepped closer to the bed. you were quick to shrug it off and sit up once he climbed under the covers with you, relaxing back against the mattress when you felt his arm drape around your shoulders. the two of you were so close that you felt the gentle impact of the rising and falling of his chest with every steady breath he took. “what are you gonna do?”

you were close to telling seungkwan that you hadn’t thought this far ahead. you always thought you could depend on your family to help you out during tough times.. but you’d had your heart broken that day. fear settled comfortably within your heart as you laid a hand on his chest and scooted closer to him. “i don’t know.”

you were expecting a fiery rebuttal from him. or some more scolding, even reprimanding.. but none of it came. instead he spoke gently, his voice barely above a whisper, “we’ll figure it out in the morning. get some sleep.”

you nodded and let your head fall more comfortably against the pillow before shutting your eyes, his arm curled around your figure and his hand cupping your shoulder bringing that much needed sense of comfort. seungkwan, however, stared at the ceiling as you felt yourself drifting off into a peaceful slumber next to him. he connected the dots in the plaster while trying not to pay any mind to the water stain near the corner of the room, the patterns providing him temporary relief.

he felt like he was dreaming; when you left, he wasn’t sure if the two of you were ever going to be in a situation like this again. laying together, laughing, forgetting about the rest of the world.. sure, in this particular moment the circumstances were less than ideal, but he was just grateful to feel your warmth. now more than ever.

a half an hour must have passed before he gently pulled his arm out from underneath your figure and allowed you to fall more cozily against the mattress. he sat quietly at his desk, which was less than two steps away from his bed, and opened the drawer slowly in hopes that you wouldn’t hear the gentle creak. there was a letter tucked securely into an envelope, one that he had read so many times that it was a miracle the seal of tape was still effective.

no matter how many times he had already read the letter, the beautiful words still brought a single tear to his eye and a gentle smile to his lips. it was the last thing his mother had ever given him besides the library, both of which he held close to his heart. he read it almost every night before he went to bed, swearing that he heard her voice in his head every single time.

on a separate sheet, she’d left him instructions and tips for running the library. he still couldn’t fully believe that the family business was completely in his hands now. he put his own career on hold to see it through, devoting his entire time to ensuring the success of the library. he had no other employees. he was forced to move into a much cheaper apartment across the street, saving money on transportation.

yes, some days were better than others. but he wouldn’t trade the business for anything else in the world.

now that you were here with him, seungkwan felt so many different emotions hitting him all at once. while he was grateful to finally see you again, there was a nagging feeling akin to resentment in the back of his mind. he only hoped that he wouldn’t let the troubling emotion take over him completely.

you were already a shoo-in for the internship agency near your school. judging by the end of your interview, you basically already had a guaranteed position. it was near school, it paid fairly well, you could still go to school part time.. you had nothing to worry about, having all of your prospects lined into a neat row.

seungkwan, however, was not quite so fortunate. school was challenging for him; when one crisis was ending, another was just beginning. one particular event was the breaking point for him. his finger had been hovering over his laptop’s mouse for a good five minutes as he gazed at the highlighted button on the screen: ‘submit request to withdraw.’ maybe school wasn’t for everyone. maybe school wasn’t for him.

his fingertip had inched closer towards the mouse when you finally reached his side, slumping down on the chair next to him. before you could complain about a strenuous day in your psychology class, you took note of the image displayed on his laptop screen and immediately slammed it shut. “what do you think you’re doing??” you demanded.

“i can’t take this anymore,” he groaned, tilting his head back. the hood of his jacket fell back upon his shoulders in the process, revealing his tousled hair. “i’m done. i’m dropping out.”

“no you’re not,” you argued without skipping a beat.

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

seungkwan groaned again, covering his now strained eyes. he’d lost count of the hours he’d spent staring at the screen in front of him. “yes i am! it’s my only option. plus, if worse comes to worse, i’ll always have the library.”

your hand fell to rest on his back, silently communicating to him that you sympathized with him. you had had plenty of trials and tribulations during your time in school, seungkwan knew that fully well. “is this about your trig. test? seungkwan, no one passes that class. it’s not your fault you got stuck with the worst teacher.”

“it’s not just that.” he scooted his chair to the side so he could face you more fully. the look in his eyes was painfully unfamiliar; the closest resemblance being one that he’d worn a few times as a child. over some stupid, simple things that didn’t matter one bit anymore. this.. this was different. your best friend was scared to death about what lay ahead of him.

you took seungkwan’s hand in yours and squeezed it the moment you noticed his gentle tremble. “you’re one of the smartest people i know. if anyone can get through this, its you,” you told him quietly, with such gentle sincerity that warmed his heart. “i’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? i’ll always be here for you.”

i’ll always be here for you.

what seungkwan didn’t know was that you replayed that moment in your mind every night before you went to bed. he didn’t know you were currently reminiscing in your sleep. guilt and regret overtook you every single time you thought about the relief flooding his features upon hearing such a beautiful sentiment from you: i’ll always be here for you.

what a phony he must think you are.

—---------------------------

the aroma of fresh coffee wafted through the air of his small apartment, strong enough to pull you out of your deep sleep. the promise of the refreshing beverage prompted you to sit up and stretch your arms out before joining your brand new roommate in the kitchen. seungkwan was already seated near the bar, halfway through his toast when he smiled at the sight of you, “morning, sleeping beauty.”

you let out a chuckle that resembled more of a scoff before taking the initiative and pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “i would have slept a lot better if someone didn’t hog all the blankets.”

“tsk tsk,” seungkwan shook his head while dabbing at the corners of his lips with a napkin. less than five seconds passed before he was on his feet, carrying his own mug in one hand and reaching for his briefcase with the other. “well, i’m off. do me a favor and clean the kitchen, will you?”

you furrowed your eyebrows while watching him search the tiny sitting room (which was more like a nook) for his dress shoes. “hey, wait! where are you going?”

he snickered, “where do you think? i’m going to work.”

“can i come with you?”

seungkwan stared at you incredulously. “why would you want to do that?”

you cocked your head to the side, confused. wasn’t the answer perfectly obvious? “because if i spend nine hours cooped up in here by myself, i’ll go crazy. no offense.”

he brushed off your statement, grabbing his keys off the tiny hook near the front door. “what makes you think you won’t go crazy cooped up in the library for nine hours?”

you paused and shrugged your shoulders as a pleading look filled your eyes. “i’ll.. be with you? and books?”

once again, seungkwan had to wrestle with all of the emotions hitting him at once- he’d enjoyed this time with you, yes, but.. a small part of him wanted space. he wanted time alone to sort through his conflicted feelings. no words could describe the guilt that sentiment, alone, had brought upon him. still, he let out an exaggerated huff and tilted his head back, “ughh fine. hurry and get ready.”

the squeal that escaped your lips nearly caused seungkwan to jump enough to spill his coffee. much to his own relief, the hot liquid never escaped from his cup and fled towards his sweater. it was a close call, however, when you threw your arms around his neck and pressed a firm kiss against his cheek. that time a few drops did spill on the floor, prompting the two of you to giggle in almost frightening unison before seungkwan made a dramatic show of pretending to rub the kiss off of his cheek. “ew-ew-ew-ew-”

“shut up,” you called out to him before shutting his bedroom door behind you. it didn’t take too long for you to find a sensible outfit, seeing that such boring outfits had taken over your entire wardrobe since you graduated.

before too long, the two of you were greeted by the crisp autumn air as seungkwan locked his door. you both held onto your mugs, chasing the warmth of the coffee as you took prolonged sips in unison. in that moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if seungkwan shared the same sentiment as you, if he thought about how taking the familiar road to work felt so strangely different this time around.

“why don’t you hire some other employees?” you asked seungkwan once the two of you sat comfortably in the warmth of the quiet library.

“what, are you tired of your new job already?” seungkwan teased, tilting his head with that all too familiar lopsided grin.

“job? who said anything about a job?” you fired back, all in good fun, of course. you had no issues helping seungkwan out with the business, if he would have you. you could only imagine how much of a nightmare it was to run a business completely alone. besides.. you hated the thought of sleeping at his apartment all day while he worked his ass off.

he nodded his head once, his grin only growing wider. “ohh, i see what’s going on here. shame, i expected more from you.”

“you’ll have to get in line,” you chuckled before averting your gaze back to the sticky note on the front desk in front of you. you’d been drawing tiny flowers on the little slip of paper for about an hour now, hoping to pass the time quickly. soon, you spoke up again without looking up from the lime green pad of paper, “you didn’t answer my question, though.”

you noticed seungkwan shrug in your peripheral vision. “can’t really afford it.”

he watched as you nodded in understanding, eyes still not leaving the sticky note in front of you. “well.. you could always ask for volunteers. there’s a lot of different ways to get the word out.”

seungkwan chuckled dismissively, “i doubt anyone’s gonna want to volunteer at the local library.” he spun in his chair slowly to gaze at one side of the open space in front of him and then the other. the first day he had ever worked there by himself he realized that he had to come to terms with the harsh reality that no one would value this place quite like he did.

you caught onto it, however, and it broke your heart to put yourself in his shoes. he’d barely jump started his own career before this was thrown onto his lap; to say it was a lot of pressure was the understatement of the year. “you never know,” you countered in a hushed tone.

several minutes passed before the loud bell startled you out of your boredom. just before you could lecture seungkwan about investing in a battery operated one, sehun stood on the other side of the desk. your focus shifted completely to the man standing in front of you, both of you separated only by the smooth oak desk.

“hey sehun,” a short greeting you were barely able to muster as you rose to your feet.

sehun, of course, stayed cordial, his grin just notably wider than the last he’d greeted you with. “hey. i didn’t realize you’d be working here too.”

“oh.. yeah. seungkwan and i go way back, i thought i could help him out a bit.” you tilted your head towards the other man in question, who was still seated comfortably in the chestnut leather chair. strange.. he was usually so quick to attend to his customers’ needs.

“why don’t you help sehun grab his books? get some practice in?” you didn’t have to look over at seungkwan to know that insufferable smirk had taken over his lips.

“uh.. yeah, sure. i can do my best.” the promise of getting some alone time with your former ‘campus crush’ was almost enough to make you giggle like you were in college all over again. you were quick to abandon seungkwan in favor of joining the taller man as he strode towards the aisle directly across from where your friend was sitting. “so..classic literature, huh?”

sehun chuckled fondly at your attempt to make conversation, prompting that warming sensation in your chest to return. “yeah. i don’t know if seungkwan told you, but i’m teaching ‘reading comprehension’ on campus. the library over there seems to have lost most of its funding since we graduated. he’s helped out a lot.”

you nodded and began to pull the books off the shelves that he pointed to with his free hand. “‘reading comprehension?’ i loved that class.”

“oh you did? it was one of my favorites. with mrs-”

“sylvester,” you finished politely.

“sylvester, yeah,” sehun chuckled again, and it was the most that you’d ever seen him smile. although it was somewhat short lived, it didn’t disappear completely from view. “she transferred a few years back. that was when i got the promotion.”

“oh.” an expression of disappointment clouded your features as he led you into the next aisle. you tried not to think about how you wished you’d brought one of those carts, considering it was completely off topic.. “that’s too bad. i don’t think i’ve ever had a teacher like her.”

sehun sighed, tucking a small pile of books under his other arm. “i don’t think anyone has. she left some pretty big boots to fill.”

“i’m sure you’re more than capable,” you assured him with a tilt of your head. “you were the one with the best assignments in ‘creative writing.’”

sehun donned an expression mixed with shock and confusion. for a moment you wondered if it was because he had no memory of sharing a creative writing class with you. had you really managed to stay so invisible? his gaze left you on the edge of your seat until he finally spoke, his words throwing you through another loop, “i.. didn’t think anyone remembered those. in fact, i hoped no one did.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, showcasing your genuine confusion. “why? your writing was so beautiful.”

he let out a short chuckle in favor of accepting your compliment. “i prefer to leave it to the professionals.” so he was handsome and he was humble.. good to know. his next statement pulled you out of your temporary daze, “speaking of which-” his gaze briefly shifted to the stack of books in both hands. “i better get back to it.”

“oh, yeah. yeah. sure.” however, you couldn’t bring yourself to face seungkwan without taking a step in a much bolder direction. “maybe we could talk about them sometime.” your heart skipped a beat as you watched him turn back to get a proper look at you once more. “i mean..the professionals. we could grab coffee sometime, talk about our favorites.”

he stayed quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking carefully over your question. once again, he seemed intent on keeping you on the edge of your seat, on stopping your heart from beating in your chest. relief warmed your heart as a gentle, barely visible smile was sent in your direction. “yeah. i’d like that a lot.”

even though the words were on the tip of your tongue, you couldn’t bring yourself to mutter a confirmation or any other proper response. planning the logistics or even a proper meeting time and place would have been a good start. even so, bashful silence filled the air and sehun was graced with an equally awkward grin before the two of you met with seungkwan again to carry out the rest of the checking process.

the crisp autumn air did nothing to soothe your shaking hands and arms as you and sehun carried the borrowed books to his car. he kept a respectful distance the entirety of the short walk to the end of the parking lot, not enough to keep you wondering if he found your presence to be a nuisance, of course. you earned yourself a smile of gratitude once the entirety of his collection was placed carefully in his backseat, his words doing nothing to soothe the aching in your heart: “so, about that coffee…”

“i should be done around five,” you cut him off, regretting it immediately. suddenly, one of your mother’s habitual lectures had once again proved fruitless and you realized just how pathetically eager you must have sounded.

much to your relief, sehun nodded to signal his confirmation. “five sounds great. i’ll just meet you over there, yeah?” your gaze followed his hand as he pointed to the coffee shop that was no more than a ten minute walk from your current location.

luckily, you were able to hold back a sigh of relief. “yeah.” you paused, taking the opportunity to mirror his smile as your hands linked together behind your back. “well..see you then.”

after you were sent on your way with a quiet ‘goodbye,’ you were lucky not to trip over your own feet as you turned on your heel. to tell the truth, you only felt like you had come back down to earth once you were face to face with seungkwan in the warmth of the library again. his smirk was infuriating, as per usual, as he confirmed that he’d listened to your entire exchange, “big date tonight, huh?”

scolding him was a redundant move. instead, you followed his remark with a smirk of your own, arms folding across your chest while you eagerly awaited for the storm to come. “yeah.. about that, i’m gonna need to head out early.”

—-----------------------------

there was nothing quite like the cafe you knew like the back of your head in the evening. just as the sun began to set, the limited light peeked through the windows, crafting with the low fi hip hop in the speakers to create the perfect ambience. there was a sense of comfort in the familiarity, which counted for everything in this moment, especially.

although the shaking in your hands had come to a timid stop, there was still an uncomfortable persistent thumping in your heart. if y/n from years ago could only see you now.. as inexperienced as you had become over the last four years, it didn’t stop a fair pang of excitement from mixing with your overall anxiety. you were on a date.. well, if that was the right word to describe this meeting with sehun.

the man in question pulled you out of your daze once he sat across from you, taking in the sight of you with a relaxed grin. “sorry, i know i’m a bit late.”

“no, it’s fine. i barely even noticed,” you replied truthfully. “i’m in my own little word over here, i was barely keeping track of time.”

“well, that makes me feel a little bit better,” a deep chuckle punctuated his gentle words before he turned his attention towards the small menu in front of him. you did the same, even if it was a bit of a formality; you had known fully well what you were going to order before setting foot in the cafe. it simply kept you busy while trying to formulate a good response.

once the orders had been placed, your arms were folded over the small table as you paid full attention to the man in front of you. “so..should we start with poetry?”

“actually,” sehun responded without a sense of urgency to interrupt you in his tone. it was quite the contrast from what you had grown accustomed to. “i thought i might get to know you first, if that’s alright.”

you raised an eyebrow, his statement catching you off guard. “oh?”

“is that so surprising?” sehun noticed the surprise that had filled your demeanor and honestly, it made him feel guilty. maybe he had unintentionally sent you messages signaling his disinterest during your time together in college.

“yeah- i mean-” you stuttered, pondering your own response carefully in the meantime. “well, i think we both just had a lot on our mind back then.”

he nodded in understanding. “you’re probably right. but i don’t want you to think i was ever uninterested.” he paused just as a barista briefly interrupted the two of you to place two mugs on the table, being quick to send a quiet ‘thank you’ in his direction.

you thought about telling him the truth, that the fear of his disinterest in you kept you up at night. that your social anxiety prevented you from getting to know anyone or spending time outside of your social circle. but what good would complaining do? instead, you nodded shortly. “then in that case.. i’d like to get to know you, too.”

you watched as sehun took the brief moment before his lips reached the mug in front of him to send you a smile. seconds later, he was delicately wiping a light stripe of foam that had landed above his upper lip. “can i start by asking you something a little personal?”

“go right ahead. i’m an open book.”

he set his porcelain mug down carefully on the table, the impact making no sound. “what brings you back in town?”

once again, his question had brought you into a deep sense of pondering. although you hardly expected him to take the same direction as your mother and tell you how much of a lazy couch potato you were, there was still a possibility he would find your actions distasteful. “things.. weren’t working out there,” was all you could lead with. “i wasn’t happy.”

sehun wasn’t sure if asking you to delve into specifics was the best idea. “i’m sorry to hear that,” he said, the sympathy in his tone practically tangible.

“that’s okay.” as always, you were quick to dismiss your own attitude; you were never the self-pitying type.

“i’m glad that you were able to reconnect with seungkwan after so long,” he noticed. “you two have been thick as thieves for as long as i can remember.”

to tell the truth, you were surprised that sehun had even noticed. on the other hand, the two of you never seemed to let each other out of your sight for long. “i owe seungkwan a lot,” you sighed. “he’ll try to deny it but i don’t know if i would have been able to get through school without him.”

sehun beamed, his understanding of the sentimentality in your statement alone bringing a warm feeling to his chest. “you two are lucky to have each other.”

suddenly, you felt guilty discussing another man in such a manner while on a date (if it even was a date). you chimed in with a bashful grin, eager to change the subject, “tell me more about your job.”

sehun chuckled, “what do you want to know?”

“was mrs. sylvester the only reason you started teaching?” while eagerly awaiting a response, you savored the wonderfully bitter taste of your now slightly chilled latte.

sehun shook his head, gaze temporarily flicking to the modest silverware resting on his napkin. “no. everyone around me got tired of hearing me talking incessantly about my favorite scribes and poets, so i thought it would be better to lecture people who would actually listen to me. for the most part.”

an amused beam lit up your features as you chuckled affectionately. “do you teach anything else besides ‘reading comprehension?’”

he gently shook his head, “as of right now, no. but i’m aiming to take over the literature and mythology position once it’s cleared up.”

“then i’ll keep my fingers crossed,” you told him, your beam ever persistent.

“i appreciate it,” he looked up to see you already staring at him with reservation in your features. suddenly, he came to the realization that he had never realized how vibrant your eyes were up close. maybe he should have paid more attention in the past. he spoke up again before he could allow any awkward silence to loom over your table, “i’m keeping my fingers crossed for you as well. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

just as you nodded in gratitude, you came to the realization that you had no idea what you were looking for. you came back home with desperation to get time for yourself, hope that you would find comfort in the nostalgia your hometown provided.. but you never thought about how slowly the answers to your questions would reveal themselves. “i hope so too,” was all you could think of to say.

much to your surprise, sehun was easy to make conversation with. he was respectful and quiet, not to mention attentive as he listened to you drone on and on about your favorite writings. you thoroughly enjoyed the banter you shared with him, as if the two of you were playing tennis with witty remark after witty remark.

you had to take note of how incredibly smart he was. he was well read in every sense of the word, judging by the countless subjects of literature he’d studied in his youth. it was impressive. not to mention attractive.

both of you reached the bottom of your mugs at the same time, and before too long, sehun had already paid the bill. he ignored your protests, your arguments that you should have been the one to pay since the outing was your idea. and of course, he politely insisted on driving you back to seungkwan’s apartment even if it was within walking distance.

the moment you sat in his passenger seat, your gaze shifted to his hands circled gently around the steering wheel. the sleeves of his sweater had been rolled up to his elbows, exposing his lean forearms. however it was nothing compared to his side profile, the dimmed sunset lighting accentuating the sharpness of his jawline. “i’m glad we did this,” you were able to tell him.

he nodded once, “me too. hope i didn’t take you away from seungkwan for too long.”

“he’ll be fine. he’s managed without me long enough,” you chuckled once he parked the car in the complex’s lot. before you could bring yourself to exit his car, to rid yourself of the man’s warm presence, you gifted him with a smile of gratitude. “i’m glad we did this.”

“me too,” sehun agreed, returning the grin with sincerity. “will you be at the library again tomorrow?”

“most likely,” you chuckled.

“perfect.” he watched as you stepped out of his car, ignoring the cold air hitting his skin once more. he called to you one last time before you could gently slam the door shut, “see you tomorrow.”

you called out to him in farewell just as the impact of the car door closing sounded. the butterflies took flight in your stomach just as you watched him drive off, permitting yourself one last look at him through the slightly tinted window. none of it felt real. you knew that for the foreseeable future, you were about to ask yourself over and over again if these memories were just a figment of your imagination. the way he looked much more handsome up close, the way you were able to study his freckles and the gentle curls in his hair..

a wind rushing past your figure snapped you out of your daydreams; soon you were walking up the rickety staircase and back into seungkwan’s apartment. he was waiting in the sitting room, peering down at the coffee table which was covered in heavy files and scattered sheets of paper. he looked up to you through thin-framed glasses, raising his eyebrows, “took you long enough to get back home.”

your brows pulled together instinctively as you tossed your jacket onto the nearest coat hook. “what are you talking about? i wasn’t even gone for that long.”

“you were gone long enough to force me to close the library all by myself,” he argued without a hint of malice in his tone. “what did the two of you get up to, anyways?”

“coffee,” you sighed, slumping down next to him on the loveseat. suddenly, seungkwan paid absolutely no mind to the endless paperwork he had been tasked with and turned towards you. you went on, “we talked for a few hours.”

he tilted his head towards you with wide, questioning eyes, “aaand?”

“aand-” you mocked, snickering. “he’s.. excellent. really excellent.”

seungkwan stared at you in bewilderment as a snicker of his own escaped his lips. “‘really excellent?’ that’s the best you can do?”

you rolled your eyes, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “i mean- i don’t know! he’s really smart. most of the time we were talking about the books and authors we both liked.” you paused, pondering your next response. “there’s something about him that is so..magnetizing. he’s so reserved..i always thought he was indifferent. but he’s not.”

“he sounds like a pretty great person,” seungkwan bowed his head in favor of taking another proper look at the piling documents in front of him. even if he knew there was absolutely no way he would focus properly on them with you seated next to him. his gaze didn’t leave a particular folder as he asked, “so it’s off to bed for you, then?”

you pressed a hand to your heart, feigning offense. “you would dismiss me so quickly?” after seungkwan merely hummed in response, you sighed, “no, actually. i probably shouldn’t have drank coffee this late.”

“if only someone had cautioned you against it,” seungkwan mused half-heartedly, flipping through a stack of papers after going through a few paragraphs with a highlighter. it was amazing just how quickly boredom set in after watching him flip through them for less than a minute.

“you could have,” you snickered and leaned your head against the back of the couch, staring at the patterns in the ceiling for the brief time in the uncomfortable position. “we should go on a walk. i think you could use some fresh air.”

an amused smirk tugged at your lips as you watched seungkwan let the papers fall on his lap in favor of staring at you incredulously. “what? no, it’s freezing out there.”

“it’s not that bad, we’ll only be out there for a second.” after grabbing the papers from his lap and slamming the pile back on the coffee table, you rose to your feet. “come on! i know what it’s like working indoors all the time. you need to go outside; it’s good for your health. and your psyche.”

seungkwan huffed, swatting your hand away when you tried to link arms with him. “you know what’s also good for my psyche? paying rent for two different buildings on time.”

ever persistent, you reached for his hand again. “these papers will all still be here when we get back. come on. take some time for yourself.”

he was finding it more difficult to resist your pleadings by the second, especially considering you brought up excellent points. he rarely got the chance to take time for himself.. he rarely got to enjoy his surroundings and reconnect with the town he grew up in. he sighed, rather heavily at that, bringing his palm to his forehead. “ughhhh fine. if i get frostbite, i’m killing you.”

“it’s definitely not cold enough for that.” you grabbed both of his hands to pull him off of the couch, beaming once the two of you were face to face. then you gently reached out to grab his glasses off, folding them before setting them down carefully on the table. your fingertips never came in contact with the lenses; you knew completely well how much seungkwan hated scuffs and marks on his glasses. “when did you become such a hermit?”

seungkwan’s gaze followed your hands as they fell to the coffee table just before he met your eyes again. he chuckled lowly, “a lot has changed since you left.”

you shook your head. “it doesn’t seem like it. you’re still just as annoying as you were the day i left.”

“takes one to know one.” much to your annoyance, seungkwan promptly moved his hand up to ruffle your hair, his nose scrunching up in an infuriatingly endearing way. he took note of your scowl, snickering loudly in amusement as he quickly turned on his heel before you could swat his shoulder, “come along then! you were the one who was begging to go on a walk.”

you followed after him with a huff, both of you slipping into your large coats and boots in alarming unison. before too long, you were asking yourself how it was possible for the weather to drop so significantly and so quickly. regardless, the two of you walked down the street shoulder to shoulder, each heavy breath you took visible in a cloud of smoke.

seungkwan glanced at you in his peripheral vision once you’d linked arms with him, snickering, “is this what you wanted?”

“yes,” you replied curtly. you tried to ignore the soreness in your back caused by the hunching of your shoulders. in your defense, cold weather ruined your posture. with your free hand, you tugged your jacket closer to your chest in desperation. it wasn’t even winter yet, why was it so freezing?

“okay,” seungkwan mused, unconvinced. he let out a quiet huff of his own before scooting closer to you and keeping both hands in his pockets. “where are you taking me, anyways?”

“don’t sound too enthusiastic,” you replied. unfortunately, you hadn’t thought this far ahead. while you scoped out the area in hopes of finding a place to relax and forget about the rest of the world, you completely forgot about the loose crack in the pavement and tripped over your own feet. your hold on seungkwan’s arms loosened as you fell forward a few steps, causing your best friend to burst into a fit of laughter.

“phew! that never gets old,” he cackled, throwing his head back as he moved a hand to clutch at his chest.

you were less than amused, stepping forward to grab his forearms in hopes of grounding yourself. “you’re the worst, seungkwan.”

“you know you love me.” it was a miracle that seunkgwan was able to get the words out, considering the laughs that persistently fell from his lips. it was a deep fit of laughter too, one that rumbled from his chest and had his shoulders hunched over as he tried in desperation to catch his breath.

“oh my god. was it really that funny?” you asked incredulously. your lips twitched in order to hold back an amused smile; it wasn’t the situation in and of itself that you found humorous, only seungkwan’s reaction. his endearing laugh and beam, the redness in his cheeks, the light in his eyes..

once he had composed himself enough to stand up straight, he let a few more faint chuckles escape from his lips as he wiped his eyes. “uh, man. i guess it's because i haven’t seen you do it in a long time. i forgot how stupid you looked.”

your eyes went wide as you linked arms with him again, scoffing. “how could you laugh at such a delicate subject for me?” you teased. “i still have the scars to prove it.

“besides, you have no room to talk. you’re the one who couldn’t make it halfway through the monkey bars.”

seungkwan stopped dead in his tracks, prompting you to do the same. you couldn’t hold back a loud snicker once you took in the deadpanned expression he wore, signaling that he took offense. “come on. that’s a completely different issue.”

your hold on his arm loosened once again as you burst into a loud fit of laughter, shaking your head. “no it isn’t! you looked like an idiot hanging there lifeless on the rails.”

as your laughter only grew louder, seungkwan did everything he could to keep a level head. He kept his chin up, taking a step forward with his eyes narrowed. “whatever. i’ve come a long way since then.”

“oh yeah?” you challenged him. “prove it.”

seungkwan stopped in his track once again in favor of turning towards you with furrowed eyebrows. “what are you talking about?”

you paused, scoping out your surroundings as you cupped your chin with your thumb and index finger. pretending to be deep in thought, of course. you spun in a slow circle until your eyes landed on the desired target: the nearest playground. it was completely empty, perfect for seungkwan to showcase his so called newfound talents.

without answering, you grabbed onto seungkwan’s forearm and forced his hand out of his jacket pocket. once your fingers were laced with his, you booked it towards the playground in question. seungkwan stumbled a little bit but followed your lead, laughing in disbelief, “hey, would you slow down for a second? god-”

once the familiar, run down monkey bar stand came into view, you came to a sudden and full stop. seungkwan nearly tripped over his own feet again, much to your amusement, but you were quick to brush it off and fall to the ground in a cross-legged position. “go on,” you encouraged him, gesturing dramatically towards the stand with a malicious grin.

he cocked his head to the side as he studied you with an amused smirk. you only responded with a raised eyebrow, the two of you silently communicating, waiting for the other to crack. much to your relief, it was seungkwan who finally broke the silence with a loud groan of annoyance, “fine. whatever makes you feel better.”

you clapped your hands in excitement and watched him walk pitifully towards the monkey bars. he ignored your cheers of encouragement as he climbed up the small ladder and reached both hands out to grip on the first rail, falling forward instantly. but much to your surprise, he kept his grip firm. “seung-kwan, seung-kwan, seung-kwan,” you chanted rhythmically, clapping your hands between each loud cheer.

it felt like he made it to the middle of the stand in the blink of an eye. he took a moment to glance over at you with a prideful smirk once he’d reached his former stopping point. “ha! see?” he called out to you.

“you haven’t finished anything yet, go on!” you ignored the crisp, chilling winds that grew more intense by the second, focusing all of your intention on seungkwan instead. you could still see the faint cloud of vapor escaping his lips with every breath he took and you had to hand it to him- the fact that he was able to do this with such determination and focus was impressive. “go on, you’re so so close!”

suddenly, you began to wonder if he’d started working out more consistently since the two of you parted ways. he only paused for a second or two between movements, save the long-ish break in the middle to gloat. he kept his knees bent the entire time too, so his feet wouldn’t touch the ground and assist him in his endeavors. towards the end he began to huff louder, unwilling to showcase his growing tiredness.

you, however, never got tired of encouraging him. “you got this! just a little further…there you go…” just then, your loud cheer nearly startled seungkwan enough to let go of the bars to fall to the ground rather than swing his feet towards the other ladder.

after making sure you were able to clearly witness him roll his eyes, he climbed down and plopped down on the ground next to you with a loud sigh. “satisfied?” he asked, letting his back fall against the long brown grass.

“more than satisfied.” you smirked in his direction before mirroring his lying position with a sigh of content. your hands laid comfortably on your stomach as the two of you stared up at the stars in comfortable silence. “i’ve missed this,” you muttered without thinking.

seungkwan paused, contemplating the gravity of those three words. he didn’t know how to tell you that he never knew true loneliness until you left town. that there was a pang of resentment towards you because of it, one that couldn’t be so easily disposed of. even once the relief that came with the knowledge that you were there to stay set over him. “me too,” he whispered. “me too.”

you smiled upon hearing his agreement, and the two of you lay in comfortable silence once again. you studied the sky for any familiar constellations, the stars shining like diamonds that night in particular. maybe it was something within the sentimentality of the night with seungkwan and sehun that brought so much more beauty to the sky above. or maybe.. it was because it had been forever since you took a moment to simply look up.

stay tuned for part two, coming soon >:)

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flowerandblood · 10 months ago

Text

ONE YEAR OF FLOWER&BLOOD

✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙✨🎉🌙

Exactly one year ago I posted my first chapter of the My Best Friend series. Nowadays I think it's something awful and I don't even try to edit it because I'd have to write everything from scratch, but I've left it for people who feel attached to the story. I remember getting about six likes and one comment on the first day and that huuuuge interest made me eager to create chapter 2 and then all the others.

I remember the excitement with which I waited and then replied to comments, not believing that people were actually waiting for the next chapter. At the time I was literally not following anyone, which was good because I wasn't comparing myself to anyone.

Eventually I felt I was ready to try writing other series and a few were successful enough that I decided to stay here permanently and create because it made me happy. Up to that point, everyone had been very kind to me and I started following more and more blogs, wanting to feel part of the fandom, to make friends with everyone. Now I know that was the biggest mistake I made.

Seeing things that didn't interest me, fanfic's whose way of writing couldn't draw me in, I felt frustrated, while at the same time fearing that if I stopped following someone, that person would see it as an affront. At the same time, The Impossible Choice, my biggest project until The Fall from the Heavens (which I'm currently editing and re-editing, while inserting on AO3), began to be written.

Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of my abilities (which wasn't true), I also started to clash with anonymous hate messages, probably the worst of which were those vilifying me and my husband, and those regarding my one-shot with Micheal Gavey. I know now that taking it personally and getting involved was my big mistake, and the fandom was shaken by drama that got out of hand.

I was a few steps away from deleting my blog at the time, but my husband talked me out of the idea (thankfully, as my stories aren't saved anywhere else − I'm only now moving them to AO3).

That's when I first realised that some people here I don't even like, and they probably don't like me. I wondered, why are we following each other then? Why are we pretending to have any courtesy? It was only later that I realised that to be considered someone's friend, you have to reblog their work and preferably agree with them even when they write hurtful things.

Since I've depleted my circle of those I follow to about 20 people, since I've blocked dozens of people and tags, there's been blissful silence (with the exceptions of when I write about behaviour in the fandom that I find toxic and someone accuses me of causing drama, but I'm used to it now). I've also never written happier than I do now.

Ideas come to me on their own, I don't feel uptight about what other big people will think of me, whether they reblog it, approve of it or not. I don't give a shit and life is beautiful! Although I can be emotionally unstable, I'm only 70 people short of crossing the next milestone of 3,000 followers, and that's BIG for me. It amuses me that I keep getting messages that someone is going to block me or stop following me, and you guys keep coming. It's gratifying.

I'm going to keep writing for you guys, and I'm sure during season two you'll also see my posts describing my impressions after the episodes in which I hope to involve my husband. I'll also keep you updated here on how I'm doing with my book I'm creating in my private life.

Apreciation

@ewanmitchellcrumbs

Ange. I know that sometimes I'm fucked up, but I want you to know that you've made this place so much more bearable for me that I can't imagine it without you. What I appreciate most about you is that you can talk and discuss, that you always try to understand the other side, that you are empathetic, warm and kind. I feel that, like friends in everyday life, we can also tell each other about things we disagree about, and there are not many people like that here.

On top of that, you are very talented and your stories are always a pleasure to read, even when they are short, you are able to build the plot and atmosphere perfectly, something I have always admired. Thank you for every kind word and understanding.

I still remember your first message to me via ask, referring to the fact that I didn't want to write a pairing with a mermaid because someone else was writing about it at the same time. My heart melted then, it was so nice!

@targaryenrealnessdarling

Liz, Queen of Angst! Your calmness and composure puts me in awe. You're disgustingly talented when it comes to writing and you have a super-sweet personality. When you started following me I began to squirm with delight, and when you started reblogging my stuff? My goodness!!!

@persephonerinyes

You've been engaging and reblogging my stories for as long as I can remember. Always involved, your thoughts make me smile. Thank you for being with me for so long!

@zenka96

You've been here with me since the dawn of time. You know that I love you. Your support from the very beginning really makes me feel like I have a friend here.

@huramuna

I am so proud of you! I remember your asks when I wrote Glass Cuts Deepest, your illustrations for me and your uncertainty about whether you should start writing yourself. I'm so happy for you and that you are so successful! You deserved it.

@black-dread & @aegonx

You are my favourite gif makers. Your work always leaves me in awe, you are amazing! I know how much work you put into it and somehow you make even the worst lit scenes look wonderful!

@summerposie; @0eessirk8; @melsunshine; @immyowndefender; @bellaisasleep; @kckt88; @thedamewithabook; @happinessinthebeing; @queenofshinigamis; @travelingmypassion; @mefools; @fan-goddess; @toodlesxcuddles; @ammo23; @troublesomesnitch; @mariahossain; @out-of-life; @apothe-roses; @heavenhatesme; @whitearemydarkestnight; @liv-cole; @blackswxnn; @echos-muses; @watercolorskyy; @at-a-rax-ia; @tssf-imagines; @snh96; @hiatuswhore; @exitpursuedbyavulcan; @darylandbethfanforever9; @the-dendrophile-bookdragon; @opheliaas-stuff @zaldritzosrose

Your comments and reblogs make me want to keep writing. You make me laugh, you comfort me and you support me. I know I'm definitely forgetting someone, but I want you to know that I love everyone who comments on my stories and there is nothing better for me than responding to your reactions and questions! I have known some of you for so many months that I truly consider you my good friends!

lottie-blue-star; aveatquevale-; aemondtargaryenwifey marvelescvpe; alphard-hydraes-blog; herejusttostan; li0nn3stuff; alexandrawho; vilmakamunen; angelinap09; theloveablestargirl; rose-blue-19; xxxkat3xxx; flosaureum; mandiiblanche; librawh0re; jasminecosmic99; ivvypg; rojocarnation; killmanduh; tokkiiidoll; wolfdressedinlace; angelofvivianne; nina2697; starwarsgirlsimmer1; katsucker; ipostwhtifeel; aemondsdelight; ilswemoon; tigrigri; pasta-rask; roselibrary; lystargs; gemini-mama; nikstrange; tempo-rary-fix; coffeeobsessedtrencher; gwuinivyre; dreamerbythewayx; diiickbrainn; mothmankit

And everyone else I missed and whose icons I would recognize from afar. I know that you have been with me for many months, often in silence or communicating anonymously. Your silent support and presence is something wonderful for me, knowing that you have been with me for so long and read all my posts!

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

#one year anniversary #celebration

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romanoffsbish · 2 years ago

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You’re so Prettyyyyy…

Natasha Romanoff x F!R

Warnings: Angst -> Fluff | Friends to Lovers | Drunk Confessions | Suggestive Content

Smut: Fantasy/Thought (2 blocks of writing). Mentions of strap on (R). Mentions of oral(N) (aka, no major smutty plot. You can blink it away)

Natasha was drunk; borderline blackout.

God, you loved her so much, her voice like an angel's melody, but right now, all you wanted was for the pretty drunkard to shut the fuck up.

Her heart, that she normally kept under lock and key was burning on the tip of her tongue.

——

Drunk words are sober thoughts, right?

Most of you hoped so, yearned for it to be true.

Regardless, she'd be embarrassed. She'd probably take off on a mission, nearly get herself killed, and she'd still avoid you when she returned and was benched. Most of her days likely to be spent in the garden moping over some book about sapphic heartbreak.

Natasha is predictably, an involved reader. She lets her favorite artists tell the story of her life.

Which is why you figured she'd bolt. All you can do is hope she is really blacking out so she won't remember this. So that she won't run.

"You're so prettyyy Y/N," the redhead fawned over you as she leaned her entire body against your side. You chuckled; it wasn't humorous. "The most beautiful girl in the universe."

If she could feel how tense you were she didn't let it be known. Her body simply molded into yours and yours stood as still as a statue. You stood there silently cursing vodka and Thor's mead for leaving Natasha in such delirium.

Natasha hiccuped, "My favorite girl," her hand slid into yours, she giggled, "Your hands are so soft." Her fingers slipped between yours and she sighed dreamily, "I just wanna kiss you."

An even tenser silence fell over you both as you said nothing, the redhead turned and shifted into you. Burrowing her face into your top, she sighed sadly now, "I wish you loved me back."

"I do love you Nat." You couldn't believe she'd question such a thing, like you hadn't made your feelings for her obvious for years now. Never with any pressure though, you were just as content remaining only the best of friends if it meant she was still yours in some fashion.

"Nope," she shook her head defiantly. "Because if you did you would've kissed me by now."

"You're drunk Nat..." She huffed, "Only now."

"Yeah, and when you're sober you don't want me. Not my fault." You were growing impatient with her, but you were also instantly riddled with guilt when you felt her body flinch.

"I always want you detka," she whispered her confession so softly into the fabric of your top that you'd miss it if not for being a spy yourself.

"Not outright." Natasha looked up at your avoidant eyes, lips pouting as you guided her into the elevator that finally arrived. An idea spurred her next movements on, catching you completely off guard as she found confidence.

Natasha shoved you against the elevator wall, or at least she tried to, her gross motor skills aren't the same after ten shots of vodka.

That pure shit Alexei smuggles into America too, from when he comes to see his 'girls', but really he comes to intimidate (fangirl over) Captain Ameeeerica. He only ever leaves in low spirits, without success. Even on his surprise visits is the star-spangled man not there when he arrives, he almost thinks that there is a drone following him around; there is, and Melina and Natasha are always in contact.

"Incoming. Two hours, abort America," her tone always serious, and mistakenly humorous.

If the big oaf was here you'd knock him out, along with Thor for only making it worse with promises of top of the line Asgardian mead.

Natasha had actually tripped, instead of the hot sequence she'd envisioned took place. Your hands quickly caught her by the waist, holding her steady. Her lips crashed into yours, slightly taking you by surprise, you'd expected it as a possibility, but were mortified by the actuality.

"Nat please," you were desperate for space, but her lips pressed to yours without any thought, her tongue sliding over yours hungrily. "This isn't fair," you whimpered into her mouth, hot breaths mixing as the one sided kiss continued.

Tears fell from your eyes, saturating both your cheeks as you settled into the moment. If this would be your only chance to kiss her now that she'd given you no choice, you'd lean into it.

Natasha pulled you from the elevator, shoving you haphazardly through the door of her room. Your body landed on the mattress, hers now on top of yours in a flash, hands roaming beneath your shirt the cause for your abrupt departure.

Natasha whined as you turned your head, forcefully separating her lips from yours as your hands tightly gripped her wrists, shaking your head as you flipped your positions. You hovered over her now instead, looking into her dejected eyes with concern. "You're drunk."

Natasha was drunk, but not as much as before.

Still enough to be out of it, but bold enough to make the moves she never could sober. She wanted you, and knew that even if sober her regretted it, it would only be outwardly. Deep down she'd hold onto the memory with joy.

"I'm fine," she attempted to rebut, "Please."

"We can't," you denied, you loved her too much to take advantage of her like this. But you were also weakened by her pleading gaze, there was no more denying it, she reciprocated your love.

So, in a moment of complete tenderness, you reapplied your lips to hers. Giving her all the love you'd hidden away behind playful flirting, soft embraces and the longing glances you'd send her way from across bustling rooms.

"Please," you whimpered breathlessly, "Forget this happened Natty, I-I can't lose you." You kept up the momentum of the soft kiss, even though you were practically sobbing into it.

"Just forget," you begged more firmly, "It'll be easier that way, we'll be okay, you'll stay..."

You fell asleep clinging to that hope.

But alas it was a fruitless thought.

Natasha remembered. It was an inevitability.

She could never forget her dream coming true.

Plus, she was trained to remember everything.

She flinched away from you, body softly trembling as she remembered the words she bombarded you with, and the accompanied laughter, one's uneasy the other's unaware.

The touches, and their implications. God, had she been in her right mind she would have been begging you to take her. Actually, she'd never have been bold enough, she didn't feel deserving of your tenderness, she knew of your love. She just wished you'd known of hers.

Everything would be easier if you did.

What she remembers most vividly, as in what haunts her most, was your desperate pleading that came with tears, and sniffling to prevent a runny nose; to prevent her from running.

Something you yourself tried to do last night.

She remembers you trying to leave, it's a bit of a blur, but you reluctantly stayed when she begged pitifully in her sleepy, drunken stupor.

Now she's uneasy at the sight of you. You were a beautiful, yet tragic reminder of all that she wanted, but never felt like she had a right to take. But while under the influence she did. And the tricky part is she doesn't regret it.

The longer she stared at you the more inclined she felt to face the mess she made. To stay put. So the redhead inched closer to you, you were magnetizing. She couldn't help but attract.

The fading light of the moon had lit up your face, and her heart ached with a longing for permanence. It also weighed heavily with guilt upon seeing pieces of your hair stuck to the dried tear tracks that stained your cheeks.

Lithe, calloused hands touched you with soft intentions. Rough, but oddly soft fingertips trailed up your cheeks as she moved to cup them. Natasha choked back a sob as to not wake you, her heart just couldn't handle how you melted into her so naturally; perfectly.

Natasha continued to sob semi-openly. The hand that wasn't cradling your face lovingly is covering her mouth, forcing her to minimize output as she must rely on her nose to breathe.

"I'm sorry this is how this went down," she shook her head, but you couldn't see, "I'm so embarrassed baby, I wanted our first kiss to be special. I'd schedule the sprinklers for an odd time under Tony in the system. He's far too easy to hack." —— Natasha set aside a whole afternoon to hack into the geniuses files, after 20 minutes she was in line to get popcorn before going in disguise to see the 'shitty' rom coms she'd always protest watching with you.

She loved them — god did she love you.

More than she'd ever dreamed possible.

Natasha obviously loved your body in a way that transcended lust. The redhead adored your plush thighs. She loved to nap on them, there have been days where she spent the entire day in your room doing just that. However, she never claimed to be a saint, and so, in a devious contradiction she'd always imagined the cellulite divots to be a challenge for her. Meant for her to press her thumb into, just to wind up wrapping her fingers around the malleable area, she'd use her attractive strength to press your thighs up and thrust her strap even deeper into your squelching cunt.

Your walls would quiver around the silicone and you'd cry out for her to stop and keep going all at the same time. Blissfully confused.

God she wanted that, but now she fears she ruined it all by not confessing with her sanity.

"We would've been having a spread of peanut butter sandwiches, grapes and oreos," she paused to catch her breath, she was nervous, your likely hearing this confession on some level. "Then just as I victoriously landed a light green grape into your mouth the sprinklers would shoot out of the grass without even a warning squeak before we'd be jumping up in shock, and quickly deflating as our clothes are officially soaked through. I'd hoped you'd be giggling. Smile as bright as the sun behind you, giving you that perfect angel glow."

You struggled to contain yourself, this crazy idea that Natasha 'the ever so stoic Black Widow' Romanoff had these girlish fantasies of you was amusing, and incredibly endearing.

Your body warmed as she spoke so tenderly.

Natasha sniffled into the sleeve of her hoodie, then a bitter chuckle left her lips. "We would have inched closer as we decided to dance in the metaphorical rain. Then I would have put my hand on your cheek, while my other lands on your waist. Then it would be up to you to ask me to pull you in." Natasha softly sighed.

She went to cradle your face with her free hand, but she lost her balance, shaking the bed and slipping your face from her right hands soft stabilization, right onto her left, your cold, damp lips pursed against the skin of her palm.

Natasha shivered at the delicate touch. Faint memories hitting her, a warmth settling over her pale pink lips, as she choppily remembered bits and pieces of last night in the elevator.

In a shaky whisper, the Russian beauty said: "Then when you sheepishly nodded, or squeaked out an adorable yes I would've pulled you in, and kissed you slow Y/N. Letting you, my precious girl, decide the eventual tempo."

Natasha let her face hover over yours, your breaths softly puffed against her skin as she whispered on about her perfect date. "We'd have probably ran to a dry part of land, likely further in the woods that gave way to shadows. Deep green leaves to gorgeously rival the pear green shaded ones. Then just as you caught your breath I'd rob you of it and push you into an oak tree; where I'd love you if you let me."

Natasha squeaked when you hastily broke the minuscule distance, leaning up to kiss her hard. Confirming her suspicions that you'd been awake the whole time. She was a spy, but so were you, so the usual context clues, like ones breathing patterns, aren't exactly credible.

The kiss was sloppy, full of obvious desperation on both ends. You were so afraid she'd run, but you realize now that you underestimated her.

"You're here," you acknowledged, tears springing to your eyes as you felt overwhelmed by immense happiness. She smiled solemnly. "I'm here to stay moya lyubov'," she promised in a hushed tone, "I won't run, I swear to it."

"You're serious Natty?" Natasha nodded with a grin that was widening at the sight of your face. A stray tear ran down your cheek, but it wasn't sad, it was one of relief, one she understood.

"Yes, I'm not going anywhere, at least not without you by my side." Her entire body warmed as you giggled unabashedly, she'd only booped your nose to emphasize her prior sentiments, in hindsight she saw how it could be deemed childish, but she didn't mind much. Hearing your joy is what manifested her own.

"Soooo," your voice trailed off, anxiety bubbled beneath the surface keeping you choked up.

"Yes," Natasha softly answered your wordless question, her lips pressing to your cheek as she sought to comfort you. "You're mine now." Her lips then pressed to yours. "And I'm yours."

"Please remind me to thank Alexei and Thor."

Natasha laughed, belly aching as her face fell into the crook of your neck. "You ruined it," she groaned against your skin, "the moment was perfect, and you just couldn't let it be."

"I'm known for my anxious responses Nat," you reminded her, "Be sure that's what you.." Natasha shushed you with a finger over your lips, pulling back from your neck she glared down at you without heat. "Don't you dare finish that sentence. I'm locked in baby girl."

Natasha smiled when your body melted into her mattress, it was as if her words unlocked the remainder of the tension in your body.

The moment was once again perfect, she leaned back down to slowly kiss you, her tongue was seconds away from entering your mouth until she was startled. The sounds going off in your stomach were reminiscent of hectic war times, it sent her head flying backwards in shock. "When did you eat last Y/N?"

You sheepishly laughed, "I think lunch."

Natasha gasped before immediately leaving you alone on her bed, she removed her phone from its charging dock then wordlessly slipped into her bathroom. You were confused, sure, but you knew there was likely a reason for her reaction. (She cared about you very much.)

"Okay, so I ordered breakfast from that diner up the street that you love," Natasha began to ramble methodically, "Today is a lazy day, I have deemed it as such so Steve was already told to fuck off, and to stay away from you."

Natasha's next set of words died on her tongue, you'd moved to sit up now, and under the light of the sun she noticed you were in her clothes.

An old, tattered Green Day T-shirt that she stole from Clint, and a pair of panties hidden beneath the length. She wondered what color.

"Natty?" The woman looked to you in a daze, but she quickly shook out of it at the sight of your extended hand. She accepted it with ease and you pulled her into your lap, the cold skin of your thigh pressed into the warmth of her own and she shuddered softly. Her viridescent eyes fluttered open to find your gentle smile waiting, and she could only think about kissing you, she'd pretend it was for the first time.

You sighed heavily, an indication of nerves, and she worried you'd changed your mind. But then you speak and everything settles, "I know it's a bit soon, but I hope you understand that I love you," you smile as you speak, "I've loved you for years, and I want to put it all out there."

"I think that it's actually a bit late," Natasha acknowledges with a teasing smirk, "We've been idiots for long enough Y/N. No more."

You shook your head in emphasis, "No more." Natasha mirrors your goofy smile as you cup her face, thumb stroking over the raised apple of her cheek just before you're pulling her in for a kiss that leaves you both feeling restless.

Natasha had moved to straddle your closed thighs, her arms lazily wrapped around your neck as she let you devour her mouth whole. There was a natural flow established, the redhead ground her hips down into you as burning arousal coursed through her veins. It seemed promiscuously promising even, especially with how she whimpered into your mouth shamelessly. Then the moment was over as Friday boomed through her speakers.

“Attention Agent Romanoff, your breakfast has arrived, and Mr. Stark refuses to send anyone upstairs in fear of a traumatic encounter.”

Natasha growls against your lips, “Pretentious fucking twat is asking for an ass whooping.”

You giggled, “Is he wrong Natty?” Natasha shrugged, her lips were pursed thoughtfully as she silently noted your compromised position.

“I mean,” you paused, pushing her even closer via the hand you had on her back, the one that was barely above her ass. “I wouldn’t exactly mind having you for my breakfast.”

Natasha smirked, her plump lips now ghosting over yours, and only brushing yours lightly. “Nice try detka,” she whispered, her lips found yours again, but in a much softer kiss that she controlled this time. “I don’t want to rush,” she timidly admitted, “We have time, and I want to take you out to dinner before serving dessert.”

The redhead winked as she left the room, you fell back against the mattress with a huff, she always was such a tease. Even in friendship. You loved her in spite of that, and as the lust faded you felt your mind reach the same place.

Meanwhile, in the elevator, Natasha was smiling like an idiot as she leaned her warm body into the cold metal. Her fingers brushed over her lips, they were burning with memory’s of yours and her heart fluttered in her chest.

When she returned to find you snoring softly she couldn’t help but to shake her head in amusement. Warmth overtook her body as she imagined this becoming a more familiar sight.

Natasha vowed to spend the rest of her life chasing down the sweet moments like these with you. Nothing in this world would ever mean as much to the woman as you do.

At least that's what she believed, until the day she first held your son in her arms, she swears she actually felt her heart doubling in size.

Everything made sense to her now, her heart at genuine ease for the first time in her entire life.

————

3,168 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 🥺

If you’re feeling angsty, here, have a bonus ending: Then it shattered, as yours flatlined...

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #gxg #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x you #queued post

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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 year ago

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Dumbledore is a Manipulative Piece of Shit: Part 1/?

Since I read the books for the first time at the age of 12, I knew I didn't trust Dumbledore. Back then, I couldn't put my finger on why. But now, a bit over a decade later, I can.

Not only can I explain why I thought something's fishy, but I can prove it is.

This is going to be a long series... but let's start at the beginning:

Halloween 1981

I'm going to go about this in chronological order of events according to book quotes I could track down.

Before the Prophecy

Circa October 24, 1979 - Lily gets pregnant with Harry. According to reverse calculating due date.

Sometime between March 1980 and October 1980 Peter Pettigrew starts spying for the Order.

"(Dumbledore) was sure that somebody close to the Potters had been keeping You-Know-Who informed of their movements...Indeed, he had suspected for some time that someone on our side had turned traitor and was passing a lot of information to You-Know-Who."

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 205)

We know that there was a spy in the Order that fed Voldemort information before James and Lily went into hiding. Sirius mentions Peter being a spy for a long time again later in Prisoner of Azkaban:

“Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done? The Dark Lord . . . you have no idea . . . he has weapons you can’t imagine. . . . I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen. . . . He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me —” “DON’T LIE!” bellowed Black. “YOU’D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!”

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 374)

So we know Pettigrew spied for Voldemort for about a year, if not more, before October 1981. The reason I'm saying he might have spied for longer is that the Order noticed there was a spy during that year, there might've been months he spied but the Order was none the wiser.

The months leading up to the attack on the Potter

So, we know when Peter started feeding Voldemort information, but we need to know when exactly the prophecy was given and when James and Lily went into hiding under the Fideliulous Charm. Most fans I see, seem to think they were hiding for only a week, then Peter betrayed them and then they died that same night. I think it went a little different. I think they were hiding for much longer.

So, let's determine this from the Evidence we are given.

The picture of the Order of the Phoenix Moody shows Harry in book 5 is the final picture of the Order togather before the Potters went into hiding. Most fans date this photo to the summer of 1980. I think it has to be earlier than that for two simple reasons:

Lily isn't pregnant and Harry wasn't born

Alice isn't pregnant and Neville wasn't born

“...That’s Frank and Alice Longbottom —” Harry’s stomach, already uncomfortable, clenched as he looked at Alice Longbottom; he knew her round, friendly face very well, even though he had never met her, because she was the image of her son, Neville....

...His mother and father were beaming up at him, sitting on either side of a small, watery-eyed man Harry recognized at once as Wormtail: He was the one who had betrayed their whereabouts to Voldemort and so helped bring about their deaths.

(Order of the Pheonix, page 174)

Remember, Harry and Neville were born at the end of July 1980, and pictures taken during that summer would show the pregnancy or taken after their births. So I think that picture was taken in 1979, although I'm uncertain exactly when. because, as I'll prove later in this post, the Potters went into hiding before Harry was born.

Next up to help us put a date to when they went into hiding is the Fidelious Charm itself, or more correctly, how it works.

The Fidelious Charm hides a piece of information within a person. It hides the phrasing of a secret, not a location.

an immensely complex spell ... involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, or Secret-Keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find -- unless, of course, the Secret-Keeper chooses to divulge it.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, 205)

It can be used to hide a location like we see the Order of the Phoenix do:

Dumbledore's Secret-Keeper for the Order, you know -- nobody can find Headquarters unless he tells them personally where it is

(Order if the Pheonix, 115)

With the phrase that Dumbledore hides being:

The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.

(Order of the Phoenix, page 58)

They use a specific phrasing to hide the Order's headquarters. The moment the Order stops existing, the house will stop being a secret. I'd argue the moment Grimmauld Place stopped being the Headquarters it stopped being a secret because this phrase applied no longer.

This is what we see with the Potter residence. Once James and Lily die, the Charm breaks and muggles make their way to the house:

“No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol."

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

The fact muggles and Hagrid could arrive at the house and see it means the Charm broke.

We also see it in Deathly Hollows when Harry and Hemione visit the Potter's cottage:

He could see it; the Fidelius Charm must have died with James and Lily.

(Deathly Hallows, page 286)

"So what?" You may ask, "we know this already,"

True, but the reason it's important is because it hints at the phrasing used when the charm was cast. It means the phrasing of the secret Peter kept being along the lines of:

"James and Lily Potter are hiding in the Potter Cottage in Godric's Hollow"

Now, this makes sense to be the secret, right, but notice, Harry isn't mentioned. If Harry was part of the secret, the charm would not have broken with James and Lily's deaths, since the secret would still protect Harry. Now, why not protect Harry as well? The whole point of the Fidelious Charm was to protect Harry, was it not?

This means the Potters went into hiding and the charm was cast before Harry was born.

More that suggests they were hiding for quite a while is Lily's letter to Sirius:

Dear Padfoot, Thank you, thank you, for Harry’s birthday present! It was his favorite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick

(Deathly Hollows, page 158)

Meaning Harry's first birthday (July, 1981) happened when they were already under the protection of the charm. As this letter was sent a short time after it (early August 1981).

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell

(Deathly Hollows, page 158)

Also from Lily's letter to Sirius. James' restlessness definitely suggests they were hiding under the charm for a good few months before Harry's first birthday.

This dates the Prophecy and Trawlany's job interview around the first half of 1980 (January to May). This means the Potters were in hiding between a year and 4 months to a year and 9 months before their deaths.

All of this leaves us with two main oddities. Questions that just got me scratching my head:

If Peter was a spy since March 1980 at the earliest and October 1980 at the latest (but probably earlier), and the Potters went into hiding with him as the secret keeper in Earley in July 1980 at the latest, why not tell Voldemort immediately? And if he did, why did Voldemort wait a full year+ to go and kill the Potters?

It means that when Severus Snape came begging for Dumbledore to save Lily about a week before their deaths, Dumbledore already had the Potters in hiding. It means Dumbledore made Snape take an oath for him to do something he already did. So we see Dumbledore's first manipulations coming into play by fucking Severus over and taking him as a spy without actually giving anything in turn.

The first question is one I have somewhat of an answer for in my Voldemort character analysis, but this isn't this post. This is about Dumbledore's crimes.

The Night Everything Happened

Now we arrive at the night that changed the Wizarding World and the life of one Harry Potter. October 31st, 1981.

I time Voldemort’s arrival at Godric's Hollow at the late evening (around 8 PM). This is due to children being allowed outside still:

The night wet and windy, two children dressed as pumpkins waddling across the square, and the shop window covered in paper spiders, all the tawdry Muggle trapping of a world in which they did not believe

(Deathly Hollows, page 295)

And Harry (a year and four months old infent) still being awake, but clearly preparing for bed:

the tall black haired man in his glasses, making puffs of colored smoke erupt from his wand for the amusement of the small black-haired boy in his blue pajamas

(Deathly Hollows, page 295)

So, Voldemort arrives at Godric's Hollow around 8:00 PM, let's say, 15 to 20 minutes later, James and Lily are dead, Voldemort’s body is destroyed and he runs off to Albania. Baby Harry is crying and the Fidelious is broken.

Now, things get interesting. Well, more interesting.

We know the first on the scene is Peter Pettigrew, arriving around 8:30 PM, and retrieving Voldemort’s wand. We don't actually know when or if this happened beyond a quote from JKR, but as muggles and aurors searched the house, it's unlikely Voldemort’s wand was there and undiscovered.

Then Pettigrew ran away to the muggle street where he would meet Sirius.

The second on the scene is Reberus Hagrid.

Hagrid arrives sometime later when muggled started looking into what happened now that the Fidelious Charm is broken:

“No, sir — house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin’ around. He fell asleep as we was flyin’ over Bristol."

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

Around the same time Pettigrew arrived at Godric's Hollow, Sirius probably saw Peter wasn't home and realized the Fidelious was broken. So he heads to Godric's Hollow.

The night they died, I’d arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he’d gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn’t feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents’ house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies . . . I realized what Peter must’ve done . . . what I’d done. . . .

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 365)

Sirius reaches the Potters and meets Hagrid there, outside the house, Harry already in Hagrid's arms:

“I met him!” growled Hagrid. “I musta bin the last ter see him before he killed all them people! It was me what rescued Harry from Lily an’ James’s house after they was killed! Jus’ got him outta the ruins, poor little thing, with a great slash across his forehead, an’ his parents dead . . . an’ Sirius Black turns up, on that flyin’ motorbike he used ter ride. Never occurred ter me what he was doin’ there. I didn’ know he’d bin Lily an’ James’s Secret-Keeper. Thought he’d jus’ heard the news o’ You-Know-Who’s attack an’ come ter see what he could do. White an’ shakin’, he was. An’ yeh know what I did? I COMFORTED THE MURDERIN’ TRAITOR!” Hagrid roared.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 206)

Sirius then goes after Pettigrew, after failing to take Harry from Hagrid and figuring he'd rather chase the rat down before he disappears. We all know how that ends, as Hagrid takes Harry according to Dumbledore's orders.

‘Give Harry ter me, Hagrid, I’m his godfather, I’ll look after him —’ Ha! But I’d had me orders from Dumbledore, an’ I told Black no, Dumbledore said Harry was ter go ter his aunt an’ uncle’s. Black argued, but in the end he gave in. Told me ter take his motorbike ter get Harry there. ‘I won’t need it anymore,’ he says. “I shoulda known there was somethin’ fishy goin’ on then. He loved that motorbike, what was he givin’ it ter me for? Why wouldn’ he need it anymore? Fact was, it was too easy ter trace.

(Prisoner of Azkaban, page 206)

This quote has quite a few interesting things about Dumbledore, Hagrid and Sirius.

First, Hagrid says Dumbledore gave him orders to take Harry to the Dursleys. This order was given before Sirius went after Peter, before he was arrested and sent to Azkaban.

This is illegal. At this point in time Sirius was Harry's legal godfather and guardian, and yet Dumbledore gave Hagrid this order. And yes, you could argue it was because he knew Sirius was the Secret Keeper and was wary of him, but:

“Hagrid,” said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. “At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?” “Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,” said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. “Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I’ve got him, sir.” “No problems, were there?”

(Philosopher's Stone, page 13)

Dumbledore hears Hagrid met Sirius when retrieving Harry and shows no concern. Like he doesn't consider Sirius a threat to Hagrid and Harry. But then, why take Harry away? Why support Sirius' arrest? (More on that in a later post)

Not only is all this highly illegal but how did Dumbledore know when the Potters died?

JK explained he had some magical alarms in place, but that means at the earliest he would've known the moment Voldemort entered the premises. But he knew before. He knew James and Lily would die that day before they died.

How do I know that?

Simple, Hagrid can't apparate and didn't arrive via broom or floo.

Hogwarts, where Hagrid is during October as Grounds keeper, is in the Scottish Highlands (Higher up as they travel for about 9-10 hours by train from Kings Cross to reach Hogwarts as they leave at eleven and arrive for dinner). Godric's Hollow is in West Country, England. This distance is a 9-10 hour drive (672.03 km, 417.58 miles).

It means that for Hagrid to arrive by 9 PM at Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore told him to go fetch Harry, the order was given to Hagrid between 11-12 noon on October 31st.

This already paints Dumbledore in a bad light, it means he planned this. I'd argue he even planned for Voldemort to hear of the Prophecy (but that's a different post). But it means Dumbledore planned for the Potters to be killed that night.

Second, Hagrid is right about Sirius giving his bike being odd (But that's a different post about the Fidelious Charm). But, in short, something was up and Sirius knew, at least somewhat, that he was doomed.

The Boy Who Lived

Finally, we arrive at the first chapter of Philosopher's Stone. We follow Vernon Dursely throughout his day on November 1st. We know that because we see the Wizarding World celebrating the death of Voldemort:

He’d (Mr. Dursley) forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker’s. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn’t know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn’t see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying. “The Potters, that’s right, that’s what I heard —” “ — yes, their son, Harry —” Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.

(Philosopher's Stone, page 6)

So, McGonagall is watching over the Dursleys throughout November 1st. It means Harry arrived at the Dursleys around midnight between November 1st and November 2nd.

Hagrid and Harry left Godric's Hollow on Sirius' flying motorbike around 10 PM at the latest on October 31st. So what was Hagrid doing with Harry in these 26 hours?

The only information we have is that Harry: "fell asleep over Bristol,"

Thing is, if we go back to the map of the UK.

Bristol is not really on the way from Godric's Hollow to Surry.

But it is closer to the flight path between Godric's Hollow and Hogwarts.

(The locations are estimated for fictional locations but are based on what I know. Regardless, West Country to Surry won't pass over Bristol, while West Country to the Scottish Highlands is likely to, so the point stands)

In conclusion, Dumbledore manipulated Harry's life, his parents' deaths, Snape, Sirius, and Hagrid, and fucked them all over for the sake of his grand plan of defeating Voldemort.

What else went into his plan and who else he fucked over, will be covered in the next installments.

#harry potter #harry potter theory #harry potter thoughts #wizarding world #overthinking #hp theory #hollowedtheory #albus dumbledore #sirius black #james potter #lily potter #peter pettigrew #Dumbledore Analysis #lord voldemort #voldemort #first wizarding war #lily evans #severus snape

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pixiecactus · 2 months ago

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I feel like Arya will have a good ending, but won't she have everything? I believe she will end up in a position of power and helping the most vulnerable. However, I think she is too young to settle down. If that happens, at most Grrm will leave it implicit. And I think she may marry out of duty. The North will be completely destroyed with the long night, and political unions involving the entire house are expected to occur. I think it is too idealistic to think that in a bittersweet ending, she will get ~everything~. I also think he will only leave it implicit because he wants the Stark lineage with the classic look (something emphasized in all the books) to continue through Arya. So I always imagined that AxG would not be endgame for these reasons.

But I'm confident that they'll be friends again. On the romantic side, it's harder to visualize because I don't see it happening while LSH is hanging over them. I don't think Gendry would be inclined to pursue a relationship with her...

i agree a lot with you, but i've some different thoughts too.

i think that arya is going to end up being around 14 years old in ados, and yeah, i completely agree that age is way too young, but then again, let's take a moment to think about how the author has also said this:

He said he'll treat some of the younger POVs like adults in ADwD, even though they're technically young adults. Um… he thinks Arya is "older than some of the 40-year-olds in the book", what with all she's gone through. (source)

and just because the same post has this part in it too, let me add it for shit and giggles:

My friend (who is a big Gendry fan) asked him, "Will Gendry come back?" He said yes, and "laughed mysteriously."

but then again, this is the same author who wrote dany being sold as a child bride at 13 years old, and had catelyn remembering that she was betrothed to brandon stark when she was 12 years old and then one of her daughters got betrothed at 11 years old. so, from the way i see it, arya being too young won't necessarily save her of a lifetime commitment.

i think that i've finally come to terms with the idea that the most that we'll ever get if grrm decides to go down the gendrya route is maybe a "it's now or never" confession of feelings and, if we're really lucky, a first kiss, and maybe that's going to be all the gendrya content in the next books, but also i perfectly see, i don't know, some kind of epilogue, letting us know that the relationship didn't work out and they separated, because i think that gendrya is a first love kind of deal at most.

oh my god, i think that i should have put a disclaimer a long time ago that i'm the type of gendrya shipper that, when consuming jonrya content, realizes that "it was nice while it lasted, but we never stood a chance, fam". like, gendry my boy, go home, wherever that may be, and move on. i'm utterly convinced sometimes that grrm loves his jonrya and he hasn't abandoned them in the overall plot.

about the bittersweet ending: well, i've my own selfish headcanon that i think that for arya this could mean that the remaining stark siblings will end up separated again (i say this is selfish on my part, because besides jon and arya, and arya and bran, i don't care about the other familiar relationships, so it won't affect me that much if that is the case, but it's going to be bittersweet because arya and jon are one of the most important and deepest relationships we have between two characters in the books, and after jon, the other stark that loves arya the most is my boy bran)

i don't know, it's just that my brain has the preconceived notion that of all of the stark siblings, the one who is the most interested in building her own chosen family is arya. (and personally speaking, i hold chosen family in a higher regard than biological family, so i'm obviously biased)

this is going to sound so fucked up, but i also hold the belief that everything that arya has lost (her father, her mother, and her older brother) has actually given her the possibility of forging her own way in life, in the way other women before her couldn't (as an example, you don't need to look further than her aunt lyanna)

and another one of my beliefs is that of all the characters that we have in asoiaf, the only one that i can see choosing to marry someone from the smallfolk by her own volition is arya stark of winterfell. and who is going to stop her? jon and bran? both understand that arya wouldn't marry someone only because it's her duty.

meanwhile i agree that arya's "stark appearance" is more important than people tend to believe; i've never considered that gendry's "baratheon genes" could be an impediment for gendrya happening in the future, and you know, i think this is a fair point to make. (unless that "classic look" stark women carry strong genes and "classic look" stark men carry weak genes, so that could explain why jon has the stark colouring coming from his mother and most of ned's children got their colouring coming from their tully mother, but this is purely wishful thinking... forget it; i just remembered that rhaenys got her appearance from elia rather than rhaegar)

i've to admit that as an adult who values friendships a lot more than romantic relationships because the last ones don't mean anything to me, one of the things i'm most interested in and looking forward to reading is arya and gendry rekindling their friendship, and i tend to believe that this is possibly going to happen courtesy of a big gesture coming from gendry, because to this point in the narrative arya is still convinced that he didn't want to be her friend at all, and you know, our girl is stubborn.

thank you for sending me this ask, i'm kind of surprised that anyone is interested in reading my dumb thoughts, and i've been so embarrased lately about this blog and that i posted a lot of dumb stuff when there's people who are more knowlegdeable about the series as a whole than me.

#ren rambles #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #house stark #arya stark #gendry #gendrya #arya x gendry #gendry x arya

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bitchlessdino · 2 years ago

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MY BELOVED!! happy 3k you beautiful human!! ilysm <3333333

now, who would i be if i didn’t request multiple members and made it v biased? 😃 so i would like to request a woozi x seokmin x dino x reader fic in which they are all friends and maybe one or two of them live with mc and stumble across their dream-diary (woops) and see explicit dreams about them that they now want to make reality 🤭 make it as dirty and with as much degrading as you like giggles. i am normal!! i swear. LOVE U

Pairing: woozi x seokmin x dino x afab!reader

Genre: smut

Word count: 1.6k

tags: heavy degradation, mentions of unprotected sex and creampies, choking, oral (rec.), hair pulling, foreplay heavy

author note: ILY MITCHIEEEE and thank you <3333. a little taste of what we're getting into this staycation. I'm also trying to get back into the format of writing less is more so I sincerely do hope whose reading enjoys. and remember asks are open!

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @6969lilithcat @wonuhour @camisun93 @tommolex @emmmui @toruro

You’re a vivid dreamer. Your dreams are so vivid you wake up the next day recalling them as if they were actual events in your life. They can get so overwhelming, mornings are defiled with built-up sweat and other bodily fluids that soaks through your sheets. Unfortunately, many of these dreams just happened to be some of the “not safe for work” variety, getting you into the habit of leaving a towel under you before ending your day.

To make matters worse, you would replay these images in your brain until exhaustion–not without some restraint–making you feel guilty for the familiar faces that involuntarily got involved. Eventually, you realize you had to deal with these dreams one way or another.

Over the past few months of these types of dreams, you’ve kept a dream journal. It detailed some of the most intimate and out-of-pocket occurrences within your subconscious and for a while, it has helped take control of the situation. The wet dreams never stopped, but there is a bit of that reassurance that you’re able to process these images in a healthy manner. But none of these notes were ever meant to get out. Not a single one.

“I’m home with dinner! If I hear you’ve already eaten without me, Seokmin, I’m fighting you. You know I don’t like eating alone–what are the three of you doing?”

You watch your roommate and neighbors next door, Jihoon and Chan, scramble to hide whatever they had earlier within the depths of the couch cushions. You narrow your eyes at their suspiciously guilty faces before setting the pizza box on the kitchen counter and cautiously approaching them.

“Are you hiding something from me?”

None of them look like they would talk, probably in fear of your wrath, that was until one understood better than the others that there was no point in hiding the imminent truth. “I told them it was invasive!”

“Lee Jung Chan, you snitch!”

You glare at Jihoon for the animosity in his outburst towards Chan and in turn, it made the man go shrink in shame. “We didn’t know what it was at first,” he admits in a timid voice, “Seokmin thought it was a diary of you shit-talking us.”

“Way to throw me under the bus, bro!”

Now your eyes are shooting through your roommate, the one with access to your room at all times to borrow something with only the condition of him giving you a heads up. It just had to be the one day he decided to not ask that you forgot to properly store the journal away when you were leaving the apartment in a hurry for work.

He shrinks just the same as Jihoon before pulling the bounded book out, open to a page dated a humiliating night: the first night you dreamt of Seokmin fucking over the fire escape. You rip the book from his hands, fuming both in anger and mortification and clutches it to your chest. You are prepared to be mad, prepared to scream at them, foam at the mouth, but nothing would come out.

Instead, you feel like curling up in a ball and hiding away from the world, only ever leaving your room to eat or use the restroom. You don’t know what to do. You just feel naked.

All three men can tell underneath your silent frustration is shame, and they could feel more at fault. Seokmin is first to approach you, which makes you quickly retreat a step seeing how closer he got, but soon enough calm down by the caress of his hand over your hair, hearing him quietly apologizing again.

What none of them didn’t expect was for you to apologize, standing still in abhor of yourself for having such thoughts and even having all three make an appearance more than occasion. You admit your actions make you sick to your stomach. That you know in no way any of that can become a reality for you, that these dreams were simply disgusting, and you loathe yourself for having them.

They all grow silent, the air charged with the harshness of your words. It shocks them, rolling over to a state of bemusement and utter astonishment at how little you thought of yourself.

Seokmin peers closer at you, fingers threading over your hair. His gaze may be soft but pierces through you like sun rays on dry concrete. “Do you really think that?”

You can’t help but confirm, ready to defend yourself once more until Seokmin's hands are on your hips and his forehead kisses yours. There is a look in his eyes you can’t explain and you can’t help but feel weak at the knees, almost buckling from their sheer tension. His name comes out so softly from his lips, Seokmin can’t help but smile.

“I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation…you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“E-excuse me?” You attempt back up from the bank but are pulled by the waist, meeting his hips incredulously.

“I said, you don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about.”

You’re able to pry yourself from him only to be met with the bodies of the other men you only realize now cornered you, becoming a makeshift pair of walls behind you. They share the same gaze Seokmin, all exhibiting this subtle darkness that turns your stomach inside out. It steals your breath. It speeds up your heart rate. A wave of vulnerability overtakes you and you are now surrounded by men who all knew already have a physical effect on you.

“How can we make that clear for you,” Jihoon speaks up, gliding a hand over your shoulder.

“Maybe the way to do it is to make those dreams a reality,” Chan joins, lips dangerously close to your neck.

You aren’t sure how things escalated the way they did. All you know is that split second you were entangled in a situation beyond the comprehension of involuntary self-manufactured imagery. Jihoon has you by the throat, platting with your breath take in as he kisses your lips feverishly. Chan kneads the fullness of your breasts, biting in your neck with conviction and desire while the sweat of his toned chest rubs against your naked backside. And finally, Seokmin has taken your legs between his face, nose pressing against your clit harsher the deeper he delves inside you with his tongue, understanding what your downfall tastes like.

Your mouth is stretched open in gasps, whines, and whimpers, and Jihoon manages to swallow every one. You inhale the stench of pure animal instinct and merely melt against the body behind you, not minding how his tight pinches and descriptive narration cease your lungs from expanding (as if Jihoon wasn’t already doing that enough).

“Is Seokmin eating your dirty little pussy well?” Chan’s low tenor sends shivers down your spine, making you squeeze your abdomen tight in response.

“Your journal was so interesting we couldn’t help ourselves. Sorry again. But not that sorry.”

Chan has always had a mouth on him but hearing him speak while everything was happening was pure sin. That’s what made the situation differ slightly from the dreams. The dreams were pure sex and no dialogue. You would think that made it dirtier, but it was missing what real-life Chan’s voice is currently giving: the whole picture.

“We’re only sorry a dirty little slut like you didn’t get the treatment you deserved until now.”

You can feel Jihoon’s smile against your lips as you let out a loud moan, causing him to dig his fingers a little harder against your neck, cutting harsher into your breathing. Chan chuckles, lips now trailing over your shoulders. “You like that, don’t you? Being called a little slut?”

You nod frantically, his pinches only getting tighter until his palms are whipped across your flesh. “You like that too, slut? I bet you’d like anything we do to you. Are we making you feel as good as you dreamt?”

Jihoon finally pulls away from you to let you answer, forcing you to face the younger man and squeeze the response out of you. “Well? You’re not gonna keep him waiting, are you, whore?”

His hand releases your neck and relaxes against it, now favoring your hair, in which he’s already wrapped around his knuckles.

“N-no, sir.”

“Then tell Chan what he wants to hear.”

You swallow your nerves down, turning into a puddle under the dark watchful of the eyes of the man in question and utter a soft “yes” and crumble in front of them to see and hear. Ripples of arousal go through you, clenching around Seokmin’s tongue when he finds your sweet spot. You clutch your chest as if a line of pearls are dangling off your collarbone, releasing your ivory nectar lining his mouth and taste buds. He moans into your heat, caressing your thighs. “Our needy mess tastes so good…”

You look back at him longingly, tempted by the glossy sheen of his lips, and Seokmin is quick to realize it. He connects your lips, pulling you from Chan to fall on top of him instead. “Such a fucking mess,” he mumbles, “need you cumming all over my cock…”

Chan’s hand slips through your hair as Jihoon’s nails grated over your ass’s flesh, you clench around nothing when they join you. Although they’d made cum once today, you severely doubt that it’d be the last. “I’m sure they’d love to be filled up with all our cocks. Isn’t that right?” Chan questions.

When you let out another weak “yes,” they join your weak display of need, pressing against parts of your body that only ache to be filled, ache to be ruined, ache to be stretched and pulled until your body is fatigued beyond comprehension.

“I hope you can handle it,” Jihoon comments in feigned concern, “handle us reusing you and take turns fucking our cum back into you, that is.”

Part of my 3K Follower StayCation!!!

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legallybrunettedotcom · 6 months ago

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hi! can I ask you for crime movie recommendations, or just a list of your personal favorites? I've been getting super into crime fiction recently (books and movies), and I'm making a watchlist of movies I want to check out next. heist movies, gangster films, thrillers, anything involving criminals is interesting to me, and I'd really love to hear about your faves! have a nice day <3

hiii, Estelle! oh I love a good crime movie! I grew up on gangster and mob movies tbh so there's some obvious choices like the godfather and goodfellas. continuing with Scorsese, I love casino. I think it's somewhat underrated Scorsese, idk i just don't see it mentioned that often, but it's super fun. the departed as well, people talked shit about it, but it's great. then mean streets, serpico, taxi driver, dog day afternoon, heat, collateral, thief, chinatown. pretty much every Tarantino ever, obviously reservoir dogs and pulp fiction, jackie brown is my favourite and the sort of song of the movie is across 110th street from the movie of the same name, so I'd def recommend that one, it's an underrated flick. heist movie-wise, ocean's eleven kind of the king here. then set it off, bound, inside man, widows, the italian job (the original), topkapi and rififi are underrated ones, the asphalt jungle, the friends of eddie coyle, the taking of pelham 123, the thomas crown affair (the remake), dead presidents, out of sight, point break, the driver, hustlers, a fish called wanda is sooo funny. sexy beast is such a great and intense movie.

if you'd enjoy something criminal and psychosexual, I'd recommend two 60s movies the housemaid and who killed teddy bear? the cook, the thief, the wife and her lover is an insane sexy one. blue velvet fits here as well. Guy Ritchie made the same movie like 4 times tbh, but I love snatch and lock, stock and two smoking barrels, I think the man from uncle is also a fun one. Brian De Palma is good at corny and sleazy and I kinda love his scarface. body double is silly but I love a good voyeuristic movie. along those lines you obviously have rear window and peeping tom, and then to continue with Hitchcock, I love rope, psycho, and think dial m for murder is quite overlooked. natural born killers, true romance and the doom generation for something stupid and bloody. mandatory Fincher recs like se7en and zodiac. I love the usual suspects, it has that twist at the end that for me personally works even upon rewatches. another underrated movie is joy house with beautiful Jane Fonda and Alain Delon in his prime. faster pussycat kill kill is just pure fun and sleaze and gorgeous ladies. I love lady snowblood and scorpion with Meiko Kaji but I know you've seen those. tokyo drifter is a stylish one as well. some obvi french new wave recs like breathless and pierrot le fou. I'd say there's nothing quite like the atmospheric the night of the hunter. I love drive too, it's all style and the only substance is blood. uncut gems and good time are quite good too. out of something extra new, I enjoyed love lies bleeding more than I expected. seven psychopaths and in bruges for something cynical and silly. then fargo, no country for old men, the big lebowski. filth and trainspotting for something utterly dirty and disgusting. not to forget Hannibal Lecter, we can't not mention the silence of the lambs and manhunter. also badlands, dirty harry, carlito's way, eastern promises, the third man, the big sleep, double indemnity, gun crazy, bonnie and clyde, foxy brown, american psycho, the talented mr ripley, prisoners. something more along crime drama strange days, fallen angels, the city of the rising sun and made in hong kong.

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caughtthedarkness93 · 7 months ago

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So I've got some Acolyte thoughts again after giving the last episode a couple days to percolate and talking to my partner about it. Spoilers under the cut.

So the thing about the characters we've seen die so far - Yord and Jecki - is that they are non-essential characters, in effect. They have a role in the story, but not a load-bearing one. The story isn't about them where the story emphatically is about Mae, Osha, Sol and our new Sith friend. The show is at its core about the relationships between these four people. It's probably going to spin off in some really wild directions given where the last episode ended, but Mae and Osha, Mae and Qimir, Mae and Sol, and Osha and Sol have so far been the primary defining relationships that keep the story in motion, and there's burgeoning hints at a pre-existing relationship with Sol and the Sith Lord and the last episode's ending strongly suggests a big part of the next episode is going to be about building on the beginnings of Osha's relationship with the Sith Lord that was established when she saw shit go down in the last episode, especially with the implications that there's more to the story of what happened to the witches that raised her.

So it makes sense for those two to die, as their stories are secondary to these four core characters who define the conflict of the show. They're secondary characters who have intrigue and are involved in that conflict, but they're not the ones guiding it, not really.

But what I find really interesting about this is that they are both very loyal adherents to the Jedi Order and the Jedi Code as it is understood at this point in-setting. Look at how they both are introduced. Yord enters the story reuniting with his old friend Osha. Where she greets him warmly and happily, he's very much all business and arrests her pretty much immediately without really bothering to listen to her or corroborate her story or check her alibi in any real way. This sets up his extremely by-the-book nature which, of course, extends to his view of the Jedi Code. Jecki, meanwhile, is introduced chastising her master for his nostalgic attitude towards Osha because to her it looks uncomfortably like attachment - as we know, that's forbidden for the Jedi. It also sets Sol in contrast as someone who has a bit of a less strict view of what is ideal in a Jedi and how one is supposed to act.

So when we lose them, we don't just lose two characters we'd really started to feel some affection towards, we lose our two characters who are most attached to the order's rules. And what we're left with is a Jedi school flunkout, everyone's new beloved Jedi dad who loves you in a way the Order doesn't seem to like much, the very face of unhealthy codependency, and a fucking Sith Lord. The least messy of these characters is clearly deeply wounded by the past and struggles to contain his emotions at times. And now, his emotions have become a huge part of the show's battleground, and he's lost the two strongest anchors to the Jedi way when he needs them most.

And while we're at it, it also deprives Osha of the same. When Yord comes to see her, she's genuinely excited to see him again and proud of him for making Knight. When she decides to leave before the Khofar mission, she goes out of her way to say goodbye to Jecki. It's clear the two have developed a bond over the course of the story.

All that's left for Sol and Osha is an existing connection they have with each other - the very connection the fallen Jecki enters the scene criticizing.

That on top of how this show is very interested in the Jedi Order and how it navigates is place in the galaxy - as both a religious institution and a political institution and the way those impulses conflict with one another. Already we've seen aspects of how scared the Order is of this getting out. And if the Jedi believe the Sith have been extinct for a millennia by the time of TPM, there's gonna be another shoe that'll drop - especially if Qimir is part of the Rule of Two's lineage. Either this will all get buried or we'll discover things are not how they seem in some other way.

This is gonna be real interesting, I'm sure.

#the acolyte #the acolyte spoilers #star wars #star wars spoilers #the high republic #yord fandar #yord the acolyte #jecki lon #jecki the acolyte

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wildemaven · 1 year ago

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How Good It Is

Pairing: Benny Miller x Single Mom F!Reader

WC: 1411

Warnings: 18+ Blog; single mom, mention of child, new relationship/secret for the sake of the child, p in v (unprotected; on birth control), cumplay (I think), oral (f receiving), nipple play, feelings and fluff!

A/N: This is set early on in their relationship, before Supply & Demand. This was mainly based off some steamy kitchen blinking, and then I decided to add some feelings to it too. This is not beta’d, so all the mistakes are my own doing. Title is based off of this song.

Wild Love Series / Playlist / Main Masterlist

You were familiar with early mornings. Seeking solitude in the stillness as you meander throughout the house, coffee ground and dripping steadily before the sun had a chance to penetrate the kitchen windows.

Weekday mornings were more structured and planned out— breakfast, work emails and light chores were tended to between sips from your ceramic mug. Then you were rushing through last minute homework questions, packing lunches and adjusting outfits before heading to the bus stop at the end of the block.

Weekends were less demanding of your time. There was an ease to them. If it was your weekend with your daughter, there was nowhere to rush off to, your time spent reading the book you had picked up from the library recently as you gradually drained the coffee pot.

That was until Benny ambled into your life 9 months ago. A steady friendship grew into something a little more intimate as the weeks went on. 2 months after meeting him, following the win of one of his fights, he was asking to see you exclusively— girlfriend.

Between work emails, you now quietly text him asking about his plan for the day, how his training session the night before went, even an exchange of a selfie or two— him still laid back in bed with his tousled hair and sleepy smile; you with your freshly washed face and a light touch of mascara, standing in front of the stove with a few eggs sizzling in a greased pan.

If there was an opportunity for an actual phone call, you took it. You felt like teenagers, spending hours chatting about nothing and everything— there was never a dullness when Benny was involved.

Those early morning phone calls slowly progressed into steamier conversations. Pent up desires, eager to be released in any capacity, resulting in the exchange of breathy gasps and yearning moans as orchestrated pleasure ripped through the sound waves over the phone. It wasn’t ideal, but it was enough— holding you both over until the next moment alone together.

It was mornings like this one that you looked forward to, the house decorated in a trail of revealing lingerie, boxers and abandoned blankets leading to the hub of your home. The kitchen is quiet, save for the passionate efforts between the two of you, that had you reeling in bliss. The two of you alone, hands finding purchase on bare slick skin and any sturdy surface.

“Oh Fuck! Ben— don’t stop! fuckfuckfuck! I’m almost there!” You manage to say as Benny holds you against an open kitchen wall, your leg thrown over his hip while he avidly thrusts into you.

“Same— shit! You feel so good, Babe! Not gonna last much longer!” His words muffled against your neck.

With one hand firmly on your propped up leg, he manages to snake the other one between your bodies, settling on your little bundle of nerves. His fingers work beautifully in circular motions, your aching cunt seizing up instantly.

“Ahh! Yes! Ben— fuckyesyesyes! I’m going to come!” A whine emerges from your throat, your head falling back against the wall as your orgasm begins to break— muscles tensing and pulsing in rapturous delight.

Your fingers card through his sweaty blonde locks, scraping against his scalp in such a manner that has his hips stuttering as he chases his peak.

“You’re so good! Let go, Ben.” Your words hit somewhere deep within him, plucking that last cord in just the right way.

“Fuck! I— I lov— fuckhnnghshit!” His hand flying up and slamming into the wall behind you as his spend empties into your still pulsating heat.

His head rests against your shoulder, releasing your leg gently onto the ground. His hands settle on your hips, his touch warm and thoughtful as you both come down for your highs.

“Shit! I got too caught up, forgot to pull out. ‘M sorry.” His breath fans across your chest, his apology riddled with sincerity.

You pull his head up to your face, his baby blues still beaming in a lusty daze as he gazes at you, your fingers still toying with his hair.

“It’s okay— I told you it was fine with the birth control they put me on. It was kind of hot too!” You smirk at him.

His lips find yours in an unhurried manner, a post kitchen sex make out, all while those 3 words he almost said were still fresh in your mind.

“I love you too.” You say against his kissed out lips.

Pulling away briefly, a smile plastered on his handsome face, taking in fully what you had said.

“I wanted to say it fully, but then— ya know.”

“I know. And I still love you, too. I want Rory to meet you.” You say, the l-o-v-e word still tickling your lips.

“Meet me? I’m confused, she knows me pretty well.” His brows fur at you suggesting he meet your daughter, again.

“Yeah, but she knows you as Benny— the MMA fighter, the fun guy at the barbecues who lets her have an ungodly amount of sugar, the guy who listens intently to her stories and makes her laugh at his silly jokes. I want her to meet you as Ben, my boyfriend.”

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Your words hitting him fully, the possibility of being able to openly act like your boyfriend has excitement stirring in him.

There was an understanding when you began seeing each other, that you wanted to wait until you were ready to tell your daughter. You wanted to be sure that he was serious about not only you, but your daughter as well— and over the last few months he had been nothing short of amazing in proving that he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Very sure.”

His softened cock finally slips out of you, his spend trickle down your thigh prompts him to grab a towel from the counter, kneeling down and gently wiping it off.

“When is Rory due back?” He asks, kissing your hip then standing to his full height.

You peer over to the clock on the stove, noting it’s 7:00 am and your ex should be dropping her off around 8 am.

“In the next hour or so.”

“Okay. I can grab my stuff, be outta here in the next 20 minutes.” He says before taking a drink of his forgotten coffee.

“Or— you could stay and we can all have breakfast together?” Grabbing the mug from his hands, taking a sip of the lukewarm liquid.

“Today? You want to tell her today?” You nod softly, smiling into the mug as you finish off the rest of his coffee. “Shit— Yeah! You think she’s going to like me?” A worried look creeps over his face.

“Ben— She loves you! Don’t worry— we can have breakfast here, then maybe walk down for some donuts and more coffee— I drank the last of yours and I’m out of beans.”

He grabs the cup from you and places it on the counter, pulls you from where you’re still against the wall and spins you over to the kitchen island. Patting at your hip, encouraging you to jump as he grabs the back of your thighs to help you onto the counter top.

“How much time did you say we had?” He says as he plasters kisses along your collarbone.

“Mmmm— ‘bout an hour. Her dad will call when they’re almost here— Ahh!” You gasp as he takes your nipple into his mouth, his tongue massaging over the pebbled flesh before releasing it with a pop.

His hand pushes at your chest to lay back, a few tugs at your hips to get you to scoot closer to the edge of the counter. A counter stool scraps across the wood floor, placing in front of your spread legs, he takes a seat.

“Plenty of time for round three!” His breath is hot against your sensitive and wet cunt.

A sexual essence infuses with the faint aroma of coffee, the minutes ticking away as Benny enthusiastically seeks out another earth shattering orgasm— discovering early on that over achieving was one of his best qualities.

“Oh god!” You moan into the room as licks through your folds, his own moan vibrating against you as he tastes the salty mixture of you both. You grab on to the side of the counter, your back arches as his tongue flicks smoothly over your clit.

“Just Ben, Babe.”

#Benny Miller #benny miller x you #benny miller x female reader #benny miller x reader #triple frontier #garrett hedlund #wildemaven writes

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hanniology · 2 years ago

Text

Did you Hit Me with the Confundus Charm | Choi Seungcheol

Synopsis: in which Choi Seungcheol is confused about three things; how the hell to pass his seventh year of potions, why Professor Malfoy hates him so much (it might be because of how terribly he’s doing in his class) and where your feeling for him stands. Genre: fluff, angst(ish), Gryffindor!seungcheol x slytherin!reader. Note: Hint of them being enemies ish. Another repost that was deleted sorry school is actually making me lose it atm. Warning: Reader does smth not that great at one point but they have their reasons. Word count: 2689.

Tagging: @fanfic24

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL WAS CONFUSED.

His friends would agree that he is always confused, but this time he was really confused.

Just for clarifcation, he’s just confused, not stupid. You shouldn’t consider the gryffindor head boy, quidditch captain that always has a plan to beat the opposing team in game stupid. Why? Because Professor McGonagall was the one who assigned him as head boy and saying that he is stupid, is indirectly calling her stupid and she is not.

You would call him stupid for his shit performacne in potions class, that you would have to end up tutoring him.

He wouldn’t call himself stupid, just unmotivated about the subject because to him, it isn’t real magic. (Also because he’s pretty sure professor malfoy is biased)

Him saying that led to you going on for fifteen minutes about how wrong he was.

But due to the lack of motivation, he doesn’t care too much for the class, that’s why he is always so confused in class.

Even though he was confused, you were there to help him become less confused. Sure it took a while through all the back and forth bickering at each other. After a week when the bickering calmed down, you realized he was an idiot.

An idiot, with only one thing bouncing around his head at all times; quidditch.

So that led to the next session taking place at the quidditch where you came up with a game involving quidditch and potions in order to gain his interest. But you had to switch it up every few sessions because he’d get bored when he starts getting the game. (typical gryffindor) but gave you the chance to ask more difficult questions revolving potions and what gryffindor doesn’t like a challenge.

It goes on for a couple of months and you two eventually get closer, start hanging out more than just during the tutoring sessions. Seungcheol would always try to walk you to astronomy class, the one all across the school from his class because you would always carry one too many books in your bag. He would always get confused when you tried to disagree every time. It’s because he doesn't see the insane amount of stares the two of you would get when near each other.

Why doesn’t he see all the stares and whispers when the two of you walk the halls? Because he’s too busy trying to impress you, he pays no attention to his surroundings.

Choi Seungcheol liked you, it was kinda inevitable, with all the time the two have you spend time with each other even outside of tutoring him.

And he’s not that confused on potions thanks to you, but he is still confused on something, do you like him back?

That’s the question he’s been constantly going back and forth about, because you have the same look in your eyes as him when he looks into the mirror thinking of you.

But everytime he tries to ask you out whether to go to hogsmeade together, or visit the astronomy tower after hours, you would always decline.

His friends would always tell him how they would catch you staring at him in class, in the halls whenever you guys cross paths and in the great hall. Even Jeonghan, your housemate and best friend, thinks and is sure that you reciprocate his feelings. They were obviously the first people to know about his little (big) crush on you. They figured it out before he even did, sure it was kind of a weird sight to see a gryffindor and slytherin liking each other, especially with the whole history of them being rivals, but that is so two decades ago.

He still hasn’t given up because technically you never denied going out with him because you didn’t like him back, you always just had excuses. Homework, projects you needed to fix last minute, tutoring session with Mingyu, he almost strangled Mingyu when he learned about that. Maybe… you were confused?

That might be the case, Seungcheol never confessed his feelings towards you, just asked you out on dates. Maybe you didn’t even know they were date dates and just friendly hang outs.

Wait, if you didn't think they were date dates and you declined them all those times does it mean you don’t want to hang out with him anymore?

Did he do something wrong to make you not want to hang out with him anymore?

Did he do something to make you-

“Choi Seungcheol!!”

The sound of your voice breaks him out of his internal thoughts.

God the way you screamed at him was kinda hot with your somewhat annoyed tone and face expression because he probably didn't hear you the first couple of times.

But your expression quickly turned into a scared one when Seungcheol jumped at your voice, well because you guys are literally miles off from the ground and his broom wobbled a little when you called for him the third time.

You didn't need to tutor him anymore, but since the NEWTs were coming soon (in three months, but Seungcheol said there’s enough time, but that’s wrong because there’s never enough time) you wanted to keep him on his toes to make sure he was prepared.

And to mabe spend time with him… because you guys are friends… that’s it… Yes. Friends.

“Huh, sorry I zoned out.” The gryffindor in front of you apologized knowingly pouting, with his stupid kissabe lips… Wait kissable, no, what? That’s disgusting and… stupid…

Anyways you convinced him into these (friendly) date sessions with more quidditch trivia games and you promised him they would be more challenging.

“Tsk, what could your stupid little brain be thinking about?” You raise an eyebrow, moving your broom closer to him.

Flustered by the closeness between the two of you, he avoids eyecontact so he can think that you’re not looking at his red heated face and to not see that stupid smirk on your face.

“I- um…”

While he tries to think of a response, he sees behind you that the sun is setting, making the view behind you a bright orange with two Slytherin and Gryfindor quidditch stands flags waving because of the light wind passing by in the spring season.

He doesn’t know what possessed him to say the next thing that came out of his mouth, maybe it was the gaze you were giving him, or his brain shutting down from all the potion questions you asked today. Or maybe it was his natural Gryffindor instinct for completely losing all of his sense of conscience when he’s with you, not that he had much of a conscience to begin with in the first place.

“I was thinking about how I think you’re the prettiest and smartest person I know. And how I’d like to go on a date with you, if you want? Because I really like you.”

Oh how Seuncheol just wanted to be swallowed by a hole from the ground and disappear forever, (BUT HE CAN’T BECAUSE HE’S MILES OFF FROM THE GROUND) when you didn’t respond.

You however were so glad he had his face looking downwards (he was totally not fantasizing his death) because he would see how your face has been a bit frozen in a shocked expression for a good minute. Completely not expecting that kind of response from him, you expected the usual “ur mom” joke from him, not a heartfelt confession. Speaking of hearts, you can hear yours loud and clear and just hoping he doesn’t hear it as well. Or that would be embarrassing as hell.

Just as Seungcheol was about to apologize for the outburst confession, he heard you cough to clear your throat to reply.

“Well I don’t think jeonghan would appreciate you calling me the smartest person you know.” you let out a nervous chuckle trying to ease the awkward tension.

“Yeah he wouldn’t mind that, but he probably wouldn’t be able to handle the truth that I think it’s you and not him.” he replies while rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

“I did mean it though,” he says quickly, “everything I said. I really do like you yn, and I’m sorry for just randomly saying it during our study session. You don’t have to like me or anything just-” whatever was going to come out of his mouth, he completely forgot when your lips were suddenly on his.

It wasn't that long of a kiss but long enough for it to be more of a peck. When you backed away from it and realized what you’ve done, you started to panic.

“Oh merlin, I-i didn’t mean to- I mean i did, but i shouldn't have done it. It was a mistake- sorry. Please forget whatever just happened-”

And then you took off, flying down to the ground faster than he’s ever seen, you could’ve been a seeker with that type of speed you probably went faster than his team’s seeker.

You left him so fast, just as confused.

—-

Ever since the kiss Seungcheol has been looking for you wanting to talk because he feels like he deserves some sort of explanation.

You kissed him right after he just confessed to you and you just ran off like that.

But the problem is he had a hard time finding you.

You didn’t see you in any of the classes he had with you, so he thought maybe go check your other classes you had. He missed five of his lessons just to find that you haven’t been into any of your classes.

Which he finds so weird since even though you’re a slytherin you were a bit of a stuck up when it came to school.

He once told you during a tutor session that you should have been in Ravenclaw instead once.

Big mistake

That tutor session for potions turned into a lesson of not to listen to stupid hogwarts house stereotypes. He thought it was kinda weird since you were a slytherin.

But then he understood why you were so like that about this kind of stuff.

You were a muggleborn.

Which means both of your parents were just regular people with no sort of magical blood.

So it makes sense you were so against all the stereotypes, especially the ones at your house.

Because it was really rare for a muggleborn to enter the slytherins house, due to their house founder Salazar slytherin not liking muggle-borns in the slightest.

—

It's been two weeks and he still hasn't been able to find you anywhere.

But he doesn’t have any time to worry about that now since the final match for the quidditch cup is about to start.

The quidditch cup, the thing he’s been trying to win as captain of the Gryffindor team all year long. It’s finally here.

So that would definitely be the reason why he’s so nervous. Because it’s his final year here at Hogwarts and everyone in his house is relying on him in order to win.

Finally he was in the air with his teammates on one side and the Slytherin side on the other, while Mme Hooch was explaining the basic “don’t kill anyone” protocols. His eyes couldn't help but wander to the stadium where everyone was watching.

Everyone except what he prossumes to be you. He remembers you saying you don’t like quidditch very much even though you were excellent on the broom from what he has seen. But he was able to force you to watch his games when you guys started getting closer as friends. And whenever he went to go watch other quidditch games when his house wasn’t playing, you’d always refuse even for your own house.

Did you only ever come to watch whenever he played? Then why aren't you here now?

Seungcheol still thinks it might be because his breath probably smelled and you didn’t want to face him again.

“Hey Cheol,” said the boy next to him, Lee Chan, the team's seeker. “The game is about to start, pay attention captain.”

He nodded at him, maybe the game will help him forget about his confusion.

“You know that the Slytherin team’s Keeper is out sick, so they got a replacement.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I heard they aren’t all great compared to their main one so let's hope they do miserably.”

–

Turns out the rumour of the replacement keeper was true Gryffindor was in the lead by 40 points with a 120 while slytherin had an 80. But that wouldn’t do them any good if the Slytherin seeker caught the snitch before Chan did because it would end the game and they would’ve gotten 150 points.

Thinking about that does make quidditch sound kind of weird, all that effort into scoring points but it wouldn’t matter unless you catch a small golden ball.

Maybe you were right, quidditch was a bit of a ridiculous game, but it did give him some of his best memories.

Playing Quidditch with his siblings, winning his first Quidditch cup with Gryffindor in his fifth year, becoming quidditch captain last year, his first kiss with you in the stands-

Well even if you constantly avoided him, it still was a nice memory for him.

After another 15 minutes of just wacking a speeding flying bludger across the sky and witnessing the slytherin team taking an offence approach when they realized that their keeper is no use to them. And then taking the lead

The sound for the end of the match was heard, ringing in his ears.

Watching as all the stadium's colours turn into red and gold, the colour of gryffindor, checking the scoreboard board to see that they have won with 270 points and slytherin with 140.

Without a thought he and the rest of his team go speeding towards their seeker who was already down.

—-

After the big gryffindor celebration held in the house’s common room, seungcheol decided to head downstairs to the trophy room and put the quidditch cup into its rightful place up in display.

Closing the glass of the box filled with trophies, he couldn’t help but notice a familiar figure in the reflection of the glass.

“(Name)?”

“Hi,”

“What are you doing here? It’s late, you’re suppose to be at your house you could get in trouble.”

“Yes, I am aware of me possibly getting in trouble if caught, even though you technically caught me.” You step forward, towards a desk in front of you, placing your hands on it.

“I just felt like I owed you a bit of an explanation about everything.”

“You think?” His tone of voice came out more aggressive than even seungcheol was expecting.

He didn’t think he felt as upset as he sounded, maybe he was bottling up everything he felt. And you couldn’t blame him for doing so.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for avoiding you and everything. I-it’s just, I was scared. And I didn’t know what to do.”

“Yn”

“Don’t get me wrong, I like you too, it’s just.”

“Yn”

“You’re a gryffindor and I’m a slytherin and sure the stereotypes are stupid and all but- there’s still stupid predejuice against slytherins.

“Yn”

“You would be praised for breaking the stereotypes while people would think that I would only hang out withheld you to gained something from yo-”

“LN YN!” Seungcheol says a lot louder and finally gets your attention.

Grabs your hands that were on the desk with his,

“So you like me?” He smirks.

Rolling your eyes, “is that all you got from that?”

Squeezing your hand. “No no, I assure you I was listening to everything you said, but the most important thing is that you like me and I like you. So who cares whatever anybody else thinks.”

You blinked. “Wait, you like me?”

“I thought you were smart? Isn’t it obvious?” he chuckles, leaning his forehead on yours.

“YES IT VERY MUCH IS.” A voice from the hall screamed.

“CHAN BE QUIET!” Jeonghan’s familiar voice screams afterwards.

“Don’t worry about them, I’ll give them detention, just like anybody else who says anything about us.” Kissing your forehead before chasing after the two guys in the hall.

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