#the new building is swanky as fuck though

[bispacecadet]

the clinic where I'm at sent me to their ent department in their other location for my ear pain and they noted down that I'm trans & that I'd like to be called Mr on the referral letter which the doctors there did :)

[sluttywoozi]

Nothing Better | lch x reader

A day at the pool is the perfect thing to remind you just how hot your boyfriend is (as if you could ever forget).

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~5.2k | Pairing: lch x reader | Genre: smut

Warnings: oral r and m receiving, face sitting, fingering, multiple orgasms, prone bone, creampie, breeding kink but just the cum part, cockwarming

Reader Notes: wears a one piece, has a vagina, wap, cries a little

You’re starting to wonder if maybe going to the pool wasn’t your best idea. 

It’s not that you don’t like the water - you love to swim - and it’s not that you don’t like the sun (when you have sunscreen on), it’s just that your boyfriend looks a little too good all wet and glistening. You can’t seem to take your gaze off of him, and neither can what feels like half the people here. 

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t feeling at least a little territorial, though you know very well that Chan doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you. It’s obvious in the way he keeps glancing over at you from his floatie, checking to make sure you’re still where he left you and smiling softly when he sees that you are. 

You’re reading on your tablet, having bought a waterproof case just for this weekend trip, your elbows resting on the ledge and your body submerged in the water. He wanted to get some more sun before it set and you’re trying to avoid the very same, so you retreated to the shady end of the pool while he floated out to the sunny side. 

There are children splashing around and shouting but you’ve managed to tune them out, your focus locked on your book as it starts to build up to the climax. You haven’t gotten a lot of reading done so far, not with most of your attention on Chan, but you don’t mind that at all. You like to concentrate on being with him when you’re together, like to stay present and soak in every moment, especially since he started at his new job a few months ago. 

He’s been working so hard, putting in long hours and taking on extra projects in an effort to prove himself, but finally, he took a day off and proposed using the long weekend for a staycation. You’re only about an hour from both of your apartments but the hotel is swanky, the beds are cushy, the pool is warm, and you have Chan to yourself. 

You can tell he needed the break by the lax set of his shoulders and the unburdened curve of his smile, a stark difference to his demeanor just yesterday. His laughter comes easier too, you can hear it from across the pool as he joins a few kids in a diving contest, tossing neon pool toys into the shallow end and clapping for them every time they burst up with their treasure in hand. 

They toss the toys into the deep end and you watch as he cuts through the water, his muscled arms propelling him forward before he dips below the surface. It’s a matter of seconds before he shoots back up, holding four of the neon sticks with one hand and smoothing his soaking hair back with the other. 

You know you’re staring but you can’t help it, he’s just so toned and tanned and luscious looking, drenched with pool water and grinning bright enough to overpower the sun. Fuck, why does your boyfriend have to be so hot…

Not that you’re complaining. Far from it, in fact. You know how lucky you are to have found love in someone who’s as beautiful as they are kind, as sexy as they are smart, as handsome as they are funny. Chan is close to perfect, but that’s not why he’s perfect for you. 

It’s because he’s the kind of person who will cut short their relaxation time to play games with kids they don’t know. Because he’ll listen to and empathize with your problems before offering to help you find a solution and comforting you if there is none. Because he’s taken the time to learn you inside and out, dedicated himself to loving you and only you, made promises to you and actually fought to keep them. 

You trust him with your life, your heart, your body, and you know he feels the same way. 

All of that, unfortunately, just makes him even hotter in your eyes. 

Hot enough that though you’re nearing the most important part of your book, you’re wondering if you can drag him out of the pool and back up to the room. There are things you want to do to him and you can’t do any of them here. 

Thankfully, he’s started to wade over, tugging the floatie behind him and waving at you with an affectionate grin. You set your tablet on the edge of the pool and wave back, beaming as he approaches. 

“Hi baby,” he says happily when he arrives, leaning in to kiss your cheek and not even cringing when his lips meet sunscreen instead of bare skin. 

“Hi Channie, do you wanna head up soon?” You ask, hoping he’ll catch the undertone of desire in your voice. 

He doesn’t. 

“Maybe in like an hour? I want to swim some more, is that okay?” He asks so innocently that you don’t have the heart to tell him you want to swallow his cock then ride him into the sunset. 

“Sure, yeah, that’s fine,” you nod placidly, pasting on a fake smile and praying he’ll take it for a real one. 

He doesn’t. 

“What’s wrong?” His brow furrows in concern, his hand wrapping around your upper arm and his thumb brushing over your skin. 

“I just- I, um…” You lean in close to him and cup your hand around his ear, whispering, “You look so hot and I want your dick in my mouth, to be honest.”

“Oh,” He breathes heatedly, his hand tightening on your arm before he lets it slip down, his fingers tangling with yours. “We should go then. We should go right now.”

You just barely grab your tablet with your free hand before he drags you over to and up the stairs, pulling you behind him but walking carefully so neither of you slip. You gather your things up quickly, drying off as best you can before he takes your hand again and guides you around the pool to the small lobby of elevators. The kids wave at him as he goes and he distractedly waves back, still ushering you forward. 

You think he’d be jogging if the pool rules allowed it. 

The air in the elevator is tense, and if the walls weren’t made of glass, you know you’d be pressed up against one of them with his lips on yours. As it is, you can only squeeze his hand while it’s rising, standing next to him as it shoots up to the fifteenth floor and opens with a ding. 

“Do you have the key?” He asks urgently, watching as you dig through your bag to find the thin plastic card. You pull it free of the inner pocket and hold it to the mechanism, waiting for it to turn green. As soon as you hear the click of the lock, you’re pushing open the door and tugging Chan through, barely waiting for it to shut to turn and pull him into a kiss. 

He tastes like chlorine but you couldn’t care less, all you care about is getting his tongue in your mouth and your hands on his body. His abs tremble under your fingertips with every shaky breath he draws in, and they tense into a six pack when you sink to your knees. 

“Baby, you really want to?” He confirms, knowing that your gag reflex is more than a little bit sensitive and wanting to make sure you’re comfortable. 

“Yes, Chan, I really want to,” you murmur, your eyes already locked on the growing bulge in his swim shorts as you start to pull them down, letting gravity do the rest of the work. His dick bobs free and you catch it with one hand, your fingers wrapping around the base and squeezing tight as you guide it to your open mouth. 

You begin with gentle licks to the head, your tongue dragging over his sensitive skin and lapping at the ridge where it connects to the shaft, your eyes coasting up his body to find his half lidded and already on you. 

Now that you know he’s watching, you start to feed his cock into your mouth, moaning when you finally feel the weight of him on your tongue. He echoes you, groaning softly and gazing at you as he reaches the back of your throat. You can’t take him any further, but you know you don’t have to deepthroat him to make it good, not when you’ve made him cum like this before. 

He takes in a shuddering breath and rests his hand on your head when you start to bob up and down, swearing and fighting to keep his eyes open as you suction your cheeks around him. You fall into an easy rhythm and let your hand follow your mouth, stroking what you can’t swallow with a tight grip. 

You don’t know why you don’t do this more often. Having Chan at your mercy feels almost as good as his cock in your mouth does, and the knowledge that you’re bringing him pleasure is enough to make you feel it too. Your pussy is starting to throb with it, your clit beating in time with your heart as you grip his plush ass with your free hand, pulling him into you and taking him just a bit deeper. 

“Feels so good, baby,” he sighs blissfully, his fingers clenching in your hair when you suck up to the tip and swirl your tongue around the head. You hum in response, the vibrations making him groan and tilt his head back, highlighting the tantalizing arch of his neck and the sharp edge of his jawline. 

He doesn’t keep his eyes off you for long, his chin tucked to his chest as he watches you lap at the precum seeping out. It’s salty and bitter but you don’t mind the taste, knowing it means you’re doing a good job. 

Too good, apparently, because he cups your cheek and murmurs, “Baby, I don’t wanna cum without you.” 

Your knees are starting to ache anyway, so you press one last openmouthed kiss to the head of his cock and release him. He takes your hands and helps pull you up off the floor, leaning in and connecting his lips with yours, uncaring of the fact that his dick was just in your mouth. 

Chan’s a sweetie like that, though his kiss doesn’t stay sweet for long. He lets go of one of your hands and cups your neck, his thumb pressed to your pulse as he sucks your tongue into his mouth and moans around it. 

You’re sure he can feel your heart racing but you’re past being shy about his effect on you, know he loves to feel the physical evidence of your desire for him. He could feel even more if he slipped his other hand into your one piece, but it’s still tangled up with yours and you hate being the one to pull away. 

Chan knows this and gently untwines his fingers to grip your hip and steer you to the bed. You’re about to let him tip you back when you remember the fact that you just came up from the pool, pulling away to say breathlessly, “Chan, we’re still soaking wet, we need to get these suits off and hang them up.”

His mouth quirks in a fond half smile in response, the playful roll of his eyes soft and his hands even softer when he uses them to start pushing you toward the bathroom. He practically frog marches you to the sliding barn door, stopping only to swipe his trunks off the floor and working his fingers under the straps of your bathing suit as soon as you step foot on the tile. 

You hold onto his shoulders for stability as he peels the wet fabric down, sinking your fingers into his still-dripping hair when he kneels and presses his cheek to your stomach. 

“Let’s shower fast, I want you to sit on my face asap,” he sighs contentedly, smooching the soft skin of your belly before rising to his feet with your swimsuit in hand. 

You’re struck silent as heat floods your stomach and your cheeks, and he pinches one gently as he laughs, “What, you can be blunt but I can’t?” 

“You can be as blunt as you want if you keep saying things like that,” you assure him, reaching over to turn the shower on and fighting back the shiver that threatens to roll down your spine. 

“In that case…” He wraps his arms around you and brings you into his chest, warming you with his body heat. “I’ve wanted your thighs wrapped around my head since you climbed into my car in that sundress this morning.”

“Why’d we go straight to the pool, then?” You wonder, mystified. 

“You were so excited about your new waterproof case and getting to relax. I didn’t want to ruin the vibe with my dirty thoughts,” he pouts, reaching around you to feel the water and pushing aside the curtain so you can climb into the tub.

“Babe, I have literally never felt more relaxed than I do when you make me cum,” you admit to him as you step under the flow of the shower, tilting your head back to avoid getting your hair wet. “Your dirty thoughts can only enhance the vibe, not ruin it.”

“You promise?” He asks as he joins you in the tub, shielding you from the water. He pumps some body wash into his palm from the wall dispenser before sudsing his hands up and starting to glide them over your body. 

You hum happily and murmur, “I promise, Chan.”

Your eyes fall shut but you can still sense him smiling as he scrubs your skin free of sunscreen and chlorine. You feel fresh and clean and slightly dazed by the time he nudges you back under the water before stepping around you and beginning to clean himself off. You wake up enough to wash his back for him, spending an inordinate amount of time on his toned shoulders and digging your fingers into the knots that plague him from hours spent hunched in front of a computer. 

He rinses himself quickly and shuts the water off, grabbing a towel from the rack and carefully dabbing you dry before swiping the cotton over his own skin and stepping out of the tub. You know Chan gets out before you so he can catch you if you slip, and you can’t suppress the smile that ticks up the corners of your mouth as you climb over the ledge with his hands holding yours. 

He doesn’t release his hold even when you’ve got two feet on the tile, immediately guiding you back to the bedroom and letting go only to hold your hips as you set a knee on the bed and crawl on. 

“Don’t get too comfy yet,” he reminds you, leaping up and twisting to land onto his back midway up the bed. It would be funny if he weren’t eyeing you so heatedly, if you didn’t know exactly what’s about to happen. 

But with his pretty lips parted and his hands covetous as they reach for you, there’s no mistaking his eagerness for humor. You take in a shaky breath while you shuffle closer, your hands pressed to the mattress as you lift your knee up and settle it on the other side of his neck, leaving you straddling his face. 

“Now you can get comfortable, baby,” he says softly, his breath flowing out over your sensitive folds. His eyes are locked between your legs, and as you start to let yourself relax, he lays his tongue out, humming in satisfaction when your pussy finally makes contact with his taste buds. 

Chan eats you out often but hardly ever like this, mainly because you find it difficult to completely let yourself go and just feel. You’re always worried about smothering him or being too heavy or if he’s really enjoying it, no matter how much he reassures you. 

But there’s something about this time. 

Maybe it’s the way his eyes slipped closed as soon as his tongue touched you, like you’re a delicacy he’s privileged to taste. Maybe it’s how he’s gripping your hips and pulling you down, like he wants you to smother him. Maybe it’s the near constant moan vibrating against you, like there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than this. 

Whatever it is, you think you finally believe him. 

Which is why your thighs untense, letting you rest fully on his face as you bend over and prop yourself up on your elbows, sinking into the feeling. 

He just groans in encouragement and wraps his arms around you, digging his fingertips into your skin and urging you to grind. You roll your hips once, whimpering at the sensation of his nose pressing into your clit as his tongue slides inside of you, and that’s enough to get you going. 

You set a gentle pace, sliding in little movements back and forth, barely even registering the obscene sounds of Chan’s mouth at work between your thighs. They’re muffled by your body and before long, they become background noise to the ringing in your ears and the rush of your blood pumping in your veins as he devours you. 

He doesn’t let up for even a second, shifting his focus instead, his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking in pulses. His tongue taps at the bud incessantly, his moans urgent as if he’s wordlessly begging you to let your release find you. 

It’s slow going but you can feel it creeping up on you, your climax rolling in like fog on a chilly morning as you try to beckon it closer in your mind. It pulls you in instead, its blissful vines coiling around you as he whines and whimpers into your pussy. 

Finally, the pleasure takes root, blooming within you gently at first before unfurling with ardor, stealing the air in your lungs and the thoughts in your head. Your head falls and your eyes flutter shut, and soon enough, all you can do is kneel there and tremble through the barrage of feelings, the softness of his tongue and the heat of his breath and the reverberations of his groans rendering you helpless. 

You’re still shaking by the time you regain the ability for complex thought, and the first thing you do is attempt to climb off of him. 

Except Chan doesn’t let you go, he just shakes his head and wraps one arm tighter around your body, bringing the other behind you to prime two fingers at your entrance. He doesn’t even bother speaking, simply grunting around your clit and starting to sink his fingers inside, the slickness of your cunt enough to let them glide. 

You melt into him with a moan, reaching one hand down to tangle your hand in his hair and pull as your back arches, trying to guide his fingers to that one spot inside as if he doesn’t always find it on his own. 

And find it, he does, his fingertips grazing the erogenous patch and beckoning forth a little burst of arousal that you just know is seeping down his chin. He’ll need another shower after this but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when he immediately starts building you up again with his mouth around your clit and his fingers buried inside of you. 

Your hips respond to his thrusts without your permission, rolling into his every touch, and for the first time, you actually find yourself riding his face. He moves with you, whimpering continuously into your pussy as if he’s feeling your pleasure like it’s his own. 

Your head starts to spin, the blaze of white hot euphoria licking at your spine and heating your skin, making sweat prickle where he grips you like a lifeline as he voluntarily drowns himself in you. 

Everything zeroes down to the point of connection between your body and his, the only thing on your mind being the high that’s just out of your reach. It’s just a matter of time with his fingers grinding into your sweet spot and his lips wrapped around your clit, with his whines vibrating against you and his skin pressed to yours. 

You know he wants you to cum, and that’s part of what’s getting you so close. Chan loves to give you pleasure, views it as both his duty as your boyfriend and his privilege as a man, and he always feels a sense of accomplishment when he can get you there more than once. He’s also just a generous person, a giver, and that doesn’t change when it comes to being with you. 

It’s not that you’re not a giver too, it’s just that you know how to take. 

You know how to take the bliss he insists you feel, how to take his mouth and his fingers and eventually, his cock. You know how to take everything he wants to give you, and that’s why you work so well together. 

It’s like you don’t need words anymore, not when you can read his actions just as well. 

And with his actions, he’s telling you to stop thinking and just feel, just let him guide you over that edge, which is absolutely something you can do. 

It doesn’t take much at all to clear your mind, a curl of his fingers and a pulse of his lips around your clit sweeping your thoughts away, leaving you muddled with sensation. You hiccup in a breath and sigh out a shaky moan, your thighs trembling on either side of his face as you near the drop off once more. 

You let it happen, let him push you off the edge into the deep end and welcome the waves of bliss that wash over you. They’re more powerful than the last, blanking out every word in your brain but his name, all of your focus centered between your legs where he’s still hard at work. 

He pushes you through it, digging his fingers into your sweet spot and groaning around your clit as his hand squeezes at your hip. A hot rush of arousal leaves you, and he’s quick to slide his fingers out and open his mouth to catch it. 

His tongue swipes at your entrance, dipping in and out as he drinks you down, his body shuddering under yours at the feeling of your fluttering pussy. 

By the time it’s over, you can barely hold yourself up. Chan seems to sense this and pulls himself out from under you, gently tugging at your legs until they lay straight with you resting on your stomach. 

You feel his touch on your back, a gentle hand rubbing up and down softly as he comes to rest at your side, nosing at your hairline. 

“So good, baby. Just what I wanted,” he murmurs to you, and you pick your head up and turn it to face him, blinking bleary eyes at his flawless visage. 

“Want your dick in me,” you mumble thickly, watching as his eyebrows furrow contemplatively. 

“You’re not too tired?” He questions, and you try to respond but you can only look at his lips and the sheen of you on them. 

“So what if I am? Maybe I wanna fall asleep on your cock,” you finally say, half playful, half truthful. 

“Like… cockwarming? Would you really wanna do that?” He asks eagerly, and you grin a teasing little grin, happy to have unlocked one of his secret desires. 

“Yeah, Chan, I would really wanna do that,” you confirm. “Maybe even today… after you fuck me?”

“Okay,” he beams, pressing a kiss to your nose before springing up with a shocking amount of energy and climbing atop you. 

He straddles your hips and sets both hands on your ass, pushing the cheeks apart to expose your pussy to his searching eye. He releases one side to grab his cock and line himself up, slowly beginning to push inside and choking out a breath as he feels your warm wetness wrap around him. 

Chan is the perfect size for you, not too big or too thick, but just enough that there’s a slight stretch every single time. You fit him like a glove, like puzzle pieces meant to interlock, and somehow, every time he slides inside of you makes you feel like you’re the home that welcomes him after a long time away. 

He bottoms out and it’s like you can finally breathe, even as he stretches himself out on top of you and tucks your hands under his, weaving your fingers together and holding tight.  

You’re completely surrounded by him and that’s enough to have you relaxing into the bed, the only muscles activated in your body being the ones holding your ass up for him as he rolls his hips back and sends them forward again. 

You love having him this close as he takes you apart, being able to feel his strength in the muscled arms stretched along yours and the toned chest pressed to your back has you wanting him even closer. Given the chance, you just might climb into his rib cage and squeeze right in next to his big, luscious heart. That might be a little much though, so for now you’ll content yourself with being smothered by his perfect body. 

The feeling of his dick pressed against your walls to root deep has you reeling, making you thankful for the grip of his hands over yours, the weight of them serving as a reminder that he’s here and he’s got you.

He sets up a smooth, easy tempo, one that reminds you of ocean waves pushing onto and then receding from the shore, filling you with his cock again and again. You miss him every time he leaves but he returns before the emptiness starts to ache, the ebb and flow of him as constant as the tide. 

“‘s this what you wanted, baby?” He murmurs into your neck, waiting for your nod to continue to speak. “Gonna let me fill you up? Gonna let me stay inside?” 

“Yeah, Channie, want you to fill me up and stay inside me,” you whimper, squeezing your inner muscles around him to emphasize your words, the tight clutch of your cunt making him tremble above you. 

“Fuck,” you hear him bite out just before his hips scoop on the next stroke in, the angle allowing his cock to graze your sweet spot. Pleasure zips up your spine, sharp and electric, making your back arch and your pussy clench. 

He notices the way you push back into it and begins to aim every thrust there, ensuring that he drags against the internal patch of nerves as often as he can. He’s still going slowly, his movements almost sedate though there’s an intensity to them, one that you know will be enough to undo you. 

Chan always gets you there, even on nights where it’s harder to climb that hill, nights where you’re distracted or stressed or anxious. You reach for him on nights like that anyway, knowing that soon enough, he’ll have you so blissed out that you’ll forget what was wrong in the first place. 

Nothing could be wrong today, and that makes everything even better, makes his name on your lips taste sweeter, his body on top of yours feel broader, and his cock inside of you hit deeper. It almost feels like he’s reaching the end of you every time his hips buck into yours, the dull smack barely audible with his gasping breaths and shuddering groans in your ear. 

The medley of it all has you feeling dizzy, rapturous, like pure affection and desire and devotion are welling up inside you. They’re rapidly running out of room, your chest only so big compared to your love-soaked heart, and there’s little you can do to quell the overflow as it streams from your eyes in tender tears. 

You try to swallow down the sob that aches to be let out but your lungs trip on it anyway, and Chan just coos and burrows closer to you with a sweet kiss on the cheek. He knows this means you’re getting close and that he shouldn’t do anything but keep going, though you wonder if he knows that it’s unlikely you’ll cum from just his cock. 

He does, of course he does, extricating one of his hands from yours and sliding it down under your body and between your legs. His fingers gather the arousal he’s pushed out with his dick and smear it up to your clit, beginning to rub slow, gentle circles that match the push and pull of his hips. 

The feeling is instantaneous, a syrupy burning starting up low in your pelvis before gathering in your stomach, your pussy responding to the sensation by fluttering around him and trying to suck him in deeper. 

He doesn’t stop, just maintains his slow and steady pace, patiently working you up to your third orgasm and sucking kisses along the curve of your throat, murmuring to you, “Please cum, baby, please cum for me. It’s gonna feel so good, I know you can do it. When you cum, I’ll cum too, okay? I’ll fill you up with my cum and I’ll stay inside and when we wake up, we’ll do it all over again.”

And what can you do with him begging like that, with his dulcet voice and steadily rolling hips and expert fingers on your clit, except exactly what he wants? 

With a whimper you fall to pieces beneath him, euphoria flowing through your veins and dousing your nerve endings, blanking out everything in your mind but his name. It falls from your lips like a spell, like an incantation urging him to shatter with you, the chant constant even as your lungs plead for air. 

But it works. 

It works and he bursts with a low cry, his cock twitching against your undulating walls, a warmth flooding you deep within as his cum paints your insides white. He trembles above you, the muscles that have been holding him up weakened by pleasure, and soon enough he completely sinks into you, weighing you down to the bed. 

“That was so good, baby… Love you so much… Now let’s sleep,” he slurs quietly, just barely shifting to the side so he’s not suffocating you, though he leaves his still hard, still throbbing, still leaking cock buried inside of you. 

Normally that would keep you awake, but days at the pool are always draining and you did just cum three times, so you think a little sleep would do you good. 

When Chan’s arms snake around you and tug you tighter into his chest, you giggle weakly and murmur, “Love you, Chan,” before letting your eyes slip closed and following him into slumber. 

AN: Woohoo!! this started as interlude no. 10 a few months ago but i got like 2k in and lost inspo for it. i picked it back up this week and here we are!

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed!! i am eager to know your thoughts and feelings 🙏

[hereforthehitsbaby]

Now Connecting... Cooper Adams/Abbott x F!Reader

Synopsis: Maybe the mysterious stranger next door isn't as grumpy, or shy as you thought.

Warnings: Smut, Mutual Masturbation, Sex Toys, Language, Angst, Shy/Grumpy Cooper at First,

Rating: M

Author's Note: Hey, what’s that over there? *runs away*

Word Count: 3K

Tagging: @rubyfruitjungle @cherryinterlude @lilly3434 @amethystblackkchaos @rosaleelovesdilfs @babygorewhore @dirtylittlefairytales @redpillbluepill @strangererotica

If you would like to be tagged for my fics, please fill this out

Vacations are suppose to be things of relaxation, not worrying about the mundane day to day. A time where you can let loose and be who you are, without judgement or differences. No one knows you, in fact you're almost like a ghost - here one day and gone the next It's fun, really fun to be that way - seeing people that you'll never see again. There is a rush being so close to strangers you have no idea what they will do, or what they will think - seeing you as a regular walker of life. Maybe the licks of confidence could be from the establishment where you were staying, or it could be from the mysterious people who wandered the halls like zombies. Suits, dresses, cases upon cases travelled up and down those carpeted halls - the echo's of business and pleasure radiating all around. There is no telling in where life will lead you all but, for some reason you are in this exact moment together - experiencing the same ticks and tricks with one another, though you may be rooms apart. Behind those closed doors, no one understands what each other are capable of - no how could they when it is all a mystery in the end? Business may be what brings them but, was it always as cracked up as it seemed? Was it really the type of business that you thought? No, of course not, it never was and it never would be in hindsight. But at the end of the day it was never your business, just move on and go forth with your time.

Getting the down time to take this vacation was the equivalent of pulling teeth. Your employer did not want to do anything in their power to let their best asset go for a period of time, then proceeded to get mad when you did not use your vacation time. It was a shit time all around - no matter what you had done it was like there was no pleasing the higher ups in a way. Not wanting to pay you out at the end of the year but still wanting you to take it - left you more confused and let down most days. Alas everything happens for a reason - right? It is possible to imagine the happiness and smirk on their face when you decided to take some well needed time off - leaving you to the suffices of the mortal realm rather than the hell hole you were about to crawl out of. For once it felt so nice to be free from all constraints of your job and be one with reality, not having to see the numbers or statistics of the bunch haunting your dreams like a demonic entity was enticing, calling your name further and further down in the end. You felt so relieved knowing you could walk away with no strings attached; No bosses weighing you down with out of work problems, or even being on call when jackass Todd wants to call out for another sporting event, (fuck you Todd!) This was your time now, one where you can remain vigilant and carefree; A life you have been destined to have. Your paradise was going to be in the shape of the United States. Specifically, Pennsylvania.

Philadelphia wasn't your top fifteen choices but, if you didn't visit your college roommate then she would've murdered you. Ever since the two of you graduated from your master’s program it was like the tides shifted per say; She had a new swanky job working as a full time pharmacist whilst you were working a 9-5 software job - building and breaking code - essentially being like Neo, but without sentient program agents trying to kill you. All of the excitement she thought this would be for you, she wanted to hear - in typical Marianna fashion after all. You agreed of course, and yet when you did you never anticipated the fact that she could get sick - especially for this day and age. It would be okay though, in hindsight it kind of needed to be per-say.

 The Embassy Suites would be your home for the next few weeks but that would be okay - everything was going to work out - it had to. In the back of your uber you watched as the blue skies molded into beauty with the sheer clouds - light speckles of greys and coal lacing the plush scenery; It would either snow or rain, a perfect lazy day in.

Disembarking from the car you waved your driver off, making sure to check out your ride whilst walking back to the hotel. Between the valet greeting you and the the concierge, you felt important, special in the eyes of strangers, a feeling so foreign to you. Out of the corner as you waltzed to the elevator's you could see the outline of a broad man; Chestnut hair in color, straight and slicked back, his jawline could cut glass. His autumn-colored sweater and mustard yellow jacket was something so basic, yet so enticing; Damn he could pull it off – he could make anything look good. Pads of boots could be heard striking the linoleum right in tandem with yours, causing your heart to race. For a moment you wished it was that mystery man residing at the check in desk with his suitcase - but then again you felt as if you were going to be too shy in the matter. Clicking the up button for the elevator you waited patiently, tucking your arms around your chest as you hum quietly. The footsteps stopped directly beside you, a pale skin form taking the same space up. Pulling your lip into a small smirk you swayed softly to this man's side, tilting your chin up to his tall form; "It's a good color on you," you spoke with sincerity, looking up at his gorgeous hazelnut eyes - wanting to dive into the journey of exploring them. Fuck, the fact that he had these little lines around his eyes when he smiled was so special - pulling you in closer as he flashes his toothy grin, the cutest gap sitting between. Nudging your shoulder with his upper arm, he spoke with conviction; "Thank you. Not as good as that blue though." The mystery man had a wink cascading over his form as the elevator doors open, his eyes once flicking to your exposed cleavage.

Following suit with his steps you pushed yourself into the metallic box after him - pressing yourself against the back corner as one does. Looking up at the numbered buttons you could see every single detail of this man's very large hands, causing you to swallow that pool of lust in your mouth; How would it feel to have his hands wrapped around your throat, or buried deep within you? Shaking those thoughts from your mind, you felt his intense gaze shine upon you - sending a warmth down your spine, noticing he was waiting for your floor number. "Uh, 15 please." You managed to choke out, not realizing how out of break you suddenly sounded. The man laughed as he nodded, clicking only the floor 15 button. "Well, looks like we are neighbors then. I'm Cooper." Holding his hand out for you, instantly you took it with a gentle grasp - shaking his hand up and down like a normal civilian, reciting your name for himself. Dropping it out of your own grasp softly, you giggled as you focused forward again, trying to keep your cool. "It is lovely to meet you, Cooper." Before he could respond, the double doors opened wide to reveal the plethora of rows where the elevators stood. Cream and burgundy colored carpeting stretched right up to the ends of every hallway, the soft material against your feet feeling like utter magic. It was a quickened shift when Cooper exited the elevator, nudging his head for you to follow.

"What room is yours?" It came out so naturally and free-falling, there was no pressure to shoo him away or even be weary of his intentions. Biting the inside of your lip you motioned to the left side of the hall, pointing to the 1500-1530 bracket, which caused Cooper to laugh. "Me too, room 1528." Your heart stopped in that moment, this had to be a fucking coincidence. "1527; Damn good job universe." It was a naturalized laugh that slipped from the mouth of Cooper, not forced or awkward in any way. It was nice to see a genuine human being after so many months of fake people coming through the wood works. The one thing that you did not like about this trek was that it was too short; Cooper and you came to your respected rooms far quicker than you anticipated. This was for certain that you would see him again - there wasn't a day in hell where you were going to let this man slip on by. Sliding your keycard over the tap screen, you sent Cooper a wink and closed the door, hearing his remain closed for a moment. There was a hefty sigh that was accompanied by thick words - ones that shot a spiral of heat into your aching sex; "Nice one Adams, way to ruin it with that cutie," Biting your lip at the phrase you pushed the deadbolt back into place, sighing out as you tossed yourself onto the bed. Staring up at the popcorned ceiling your mind could not help but wander at the thought of your next door neighbor; Those thick fingers so skilled and precise. His dialect so particular and pointed, the sways of his tongue with every syllable he annunciates. The small sweat breaking out on your forehead was enough proof that this man had taken over your mind, body and soul within minutes. The essences leaking from your clothed slit was not aiding in the fantasies.

Rolling over to your undone suitcase, you grabbed out your newest toy you managed to snag through TSA - smiling at how easy it was to conceal. You had always heard amazing things about the Satisfyer but now, getting to test it out, good lord you were excited. The enjoyment was bubbling more due to how this was app controlled - meaning anyone across the world could help make you cum. Turning on the device easily, you waited until the double buzz came to light before watching it connect - seeing the plethora of horny people piling in through your friend request. There was one specific name that caught your eye, one that really made your curious in the whole bunch. CA. The name itself was basic enough but, could it possibly be him? Curiosity piqued your interest when the message bubble came up quick after only a minute of accepting his request. Placing the air pulse hole directly onto your clit - you took deep breaths to calm yourself down, the excitement too much to handle. "Call?" The message read, causing your fingers to shake. With these apps you never really know who is behind the screen so to secure your identity, you hid your camera and mic - only planning to use it when you were so close to coming undone. Hitting that white button up top you waited and waited three rings, wondering if he would actually answer. "So, come here often?" the voice rang out, causing your cunt to become slick. It was YOUR Cooper. The smirk radiating through your mouth was enough to make a grown woman blush - devious in nature. Quickly you forked over the control of your vibe - only for it to be cancelled. It was just then that you were having the invite of mutual control, the equivalent of coming at the same time. Once you hit accept, it was over.

The slow buzzing of the vibration mixed with the soft punches of the air pulse caused your mouth to slightly hang open, accidentally unmuting yourself in the process. A softened whimper slipped through the phone as you upped the vibration a slight bit, hearing a guttural groan coming not from your phone, but next door. "Fuck sweetheart, you're so good. Faster, f-fuck faster please." The raw natured begging had you hitting another wave of arousal in no time at all, moving the device up an inch in the pink and blue - watching the gorgeous gradients melt into one another. It's when you slid your finger up to do so that you got see the camera angle of what he was seeing - his thickened cock slick with his own spit, the flesh light sliding up and down in waves onto his length. His cock was a bit darker than his skin tone but good god, you felt yourself almost coming undone just at that picture alone. "Aw, come on Cooper - be a good boy for me." You had no idea where that came from, something else possessing you in the moment. For a moment Cooper stopped moving the flesh light and flipped the camera to face him - obsidian eyes and a snarl lining the sight as you flicked your own camera on - showing him how your nipples were like rocks against the sheen of your tank top. Quickly you flipped the image to show you soaking wet cunt, dribbling onto the bed as he fucked with the vibrations quickly. "I should've known - Princess. You fucking knew how hard you made me on that elevator."

Something evil glinted in your eye as you focused on his face - how his face pulled up into an orgasmic stance, ready to blow his load. Seeing him so vulnerable and soft for you, it caused your whole body to tense. "Mhm, wish you pressed me against the walls and fucked me. Would've been screaming Cooper all day long." Toying with Cooper like this made you feel so fucking good, it was having the power over a man who was the epitome of sex in shoes that made you feel immaculate. Pressing Cooper’s flesh light up to the highest vibration and air pulse setting, you could see how his balls pulled up against his body - threatening to spill his load within the toy itself. You were not too far behind at this rate - your clit was being beaten like a drum and vibrating beyond belief. The white hot pleasure burned deep within the roots of your veins and you felt like you were going to fly. It took Cooper four good pumps before he was snarling, growling out at you - aiding you in your own release. With a quick few circular movements of your vibe - both of you were screaming in ecstasy. It felt as if a freight train hit the two of you, rocking your cores to the max level they could even ponder. Both of you were tossed from your own bodies, streaks of glistening lights flew around you in circles; Cooper’s cum shot so deep into his toy that it started to seep out around the edges. As for you, it was a quick work of drenching the bedsheets below you - thighs quivering with every passing second that you left the vibrator on your clit.

When the vibrations died down, all that could be heard across both of your rooms was panting - breathless motions as you tried to come back down from your highs. To say you both felt alive was an understatement - an outer body experience of this caliber was needed for two worry warts. Cooper was the first to break the panting silence, gulping down to alleviate the dryness in his throat. "That was...holy shit," Cooper let out with a small laugh, moaning as he straightened his back out against the memory foam mattress. You nodded in agreement due to your lack of being able to speak. The more Cooper exposed his neck and clamped his eyes shut - the more you wanted him, to feel him pulse between your legs, to ravish you for all that you are worth. So, as one does, you coaxed him forward with a proposal. Standing up from your mattress with only a tank top on, you started to glide straight towards the hotel room door, playing around with the deadbolt to catch Cooper’s attention. Like a puppy his head tilted and ears perked up, a sly smirk falling onto the corner of his mouth; "What do you think you're doing?" Cooper stated as he leaned onto his elbows, taking in the lighting against your complexion. Opening your door you quickly ran over to room 1528, knocking on the door with a grin - watching how Cooper scrambled to open the door. Upon arrival, Cooper quickly whisked you away inside - tossing your phone to the floor. Your arms came to wrap around his neck as his came to encircle your waist - not letting you go. "You ready for round two?" With that, you slotted your mouth against Cooper’s letting the door slam from behind you.

It was a fact that you would not be able to walk straight for the next four days, but boy would it be worth it. But what you failed to realize was the bug in your phone, the screensharing mode always active during your app usage. Your flight miraculously did not have anyone on it except you. Meeting Cooper wasn’t a chance, hell he lived in Philadelphia. No, it was calculated – it was meant to be. That’s because Cooper Adams didn’t just meet you – he has been watching you for months; Controlling your narrative of why you wanted to go to Philly. Your friend wasn’t sick, she didn’t even live in Pennsylvania…anymore. She wasn’t even alive at all. Just a pretty face in her camera roll, he knew you were the one for him.

[xhoneygirlxx]

Fade Me

Older!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: your night is ruined when your date is a no show. maybe the handsome stranger at the end of the bar can fix it.

warnings: slight angst. reader is 30, Eddie is early 40s. Modern au! Reader's date sucks. Eddie is a sweetheart. Fluff. Swearing. Shitty writing and grammar mistakes!!! Not proofread!!!! Also Minors go away, I'm an 18+ blog.

*if I missed anything lmk

a/n: WELCOME TO MY BIRTHDAY BASH EVERYONE!!!!!!! I'm so excited to be celebrating with all of you guys!! This isn't my best work but I think its cute and that's all that matters. Love you all and hope you guys like this <3

Oh, maybe, you could devastate me.

Little lady, come and fade me.

Everything at the moment was pissing you off, setting spark to the last small fuse that sat within you. The pain from sitting on the hard bar stool was shooting pain right to your tailbone, not going away no matter how many times you switch your position. The unforgiving squeeze of the uncomfortable heels radiated pain all over your feet and you knew they would be swollen in the morning. The group of rowdy girls at the back of the bar were shrieking with joy over something you have no idea about, but you did know that you wanted to drag all of them by their scalp and remove them from the bar. 

This was stupid, so fucking stupid, and you knew from the very start that it wasn’t going to work. It never does and the next time you see your friends, they aren't going to hear the end of it. Dating sites and dating in general were things you didn’t like to partake in and for good reason. 

Out of all your friends, you happened to be the only single one and you were fine with that, but they weren’t. They begged you, since the moment you broke up with your college sweetheart, to get back out into the dating world. It was actually irritating that they cared so much about your relationship status so much, if you were hooking up with anyone, all under the guise of wanting you to be happy. Truthfully they did want you to be happy and they knew you craved having a relationship, but you were pissed and wanted to stew in your own anger.

Well, right now you were everything but happy. In fact you were furious. Furious with yourself, with them, and most importantly your stupid ass date, Luke. After your thirtieth birthday, your friends all but tackled your phone out of your grasp, making you a stupid tinder profile. 

“Thirty is the new twenty one, babe,” Dahlia said as she and the two other girls scrolled through pictures to post. 

Twenty one your ass, you think, especially with the way you’re fighting a yawn at only nine thirty on a Friday night. 

So you gave in, swiped on a few different people who snatched your attention, one of them being Luke. He was handsome, smiling brightly with a bottle of Corona in his hand and a pair of Raybans perched on the bridge of his nose. His bio was simple, straight to the point, and it was the least douchey thing you’ve read while on the app. 

After making short conversation, you learned that he was an investment banker, working in the Citibank building downtown. His interests were the same as yours, very shy yet loved to have a good time with friends. The best selling point was his dog, Cali, that could be seen in a few of the other pictures he had. 

You were sold, with his witty banter and the fact that he had his life together at thirty two didn’t make the decision hard, especially when all the other people you know that are your age don’t have a solid plan. Which in argument's sake is fine, however you weren’t getting any younger and the want to get married and start a life with someone was getting strong, even though you’d never admit it to your friends. 

So that’s why you’re sitting in a swanky bar in downtown Indy, waiting patiently for your date, who happens to be an hour late, in a dress you spent sixty dollars on. It was a pathetic feeling really, putting this much faith into a stranger in the hopes of finding the one. It’s actually why you didn’t want to do it in the first place and why your friends would have to face your wrath when you get home. 

The buzzing of your phone on the wooden bar jolts you awake, the wave of adrenaline coursing through your veins making your heart pump erratically. 

IMessage 

Luke: Sorry for the last minute text but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. Had to stay late at the office today, I hope you understand. 

With a defeated sigh you turn your phone face down, not having the energy to cuss the asshole out for making you wait so long. Pulling your focus on the bartender, you flag him over and order a martini. Dry martini. Very dry. 

When the man places the glass in front of you, he gives you a weak smile as if he knows what’s happening. He probably does know what’s happening, he’s probably seen this happen more times than he’d like to admit and it only adds to your frustration. 

Muttering a small thanks, you take a big swig from the crystal glass, letting the liquor burn down your esophagus. It hits your stomach causing an instant burn, more fuel to the fire that’s been shimmering below the surface. The pity you started to feel has now turned into a new found rage. 

Quickly picking up your phone, you ignore the burn from the sting of the bright light, and tap on Luke’s text. 

Staring at it, you can feel the fire ripping through your body, all the anger and embarrassment you’ve let build up while sitting here coming out as you read his last message. 

Luke: Sorry for the last minute text but I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. Had to stay late at the office today, I hope you understand.  

You: That would’ve been awesome to know about an hour ago. Thank you for wasting my Friday night asshole. 

Before you can text more insults, a gruff voice interrupts the quick tapping of your acrylic nails on the screen.  

“Trust me sweetheart, he’s not worth it.” Pulling your gaze from your phone, you try to find the owner of the voice. 

Turning to your right you see him, two seats away from you, tucked away into the corner at the end of the bar. You’re not sure when he got there or if he’s been there the whole time but his presence alone is pissing you off. You’re ready to aim your dagger like tongue at him and tell him to go fuck himself when you take in his appearance. 

A plain black tee shirt pulled taunt across his broad chest, tattooed arms squeezed by the material just right. On his hands sits more black ink and nice silver rings, gleaming in the low light of the bar. His hair is brown with a streak or two of salt and pepper mixed in, wisps of hair framing his face from where it fell out of the low bun it’s been pulled into. The crows feet by his eyes are fitting, especially when his dimpled smile is peaking through from where it sits behind his glass of whiskey. 

He seems older, at least from the discolored hair and stubble on his chin, but he’s very handsome. Actually he’s hot and if you weren’t so mad right now, you’d be flirting with him. That’s not the case though, not when he has a smug ass smile on his face like he’s all knowing. 

“What d’you know?” You bite back, waiting for the handsome stranger to answer. When he takes more than a second to answer, you cock an eyebrow at him like it’s taking him too long. 

“I shouldn’t have assumed,” He replies cooly, putting his glass down on the coaster, “Don’t text her, it’s not worth it.” When his eyes meet yours, you can’t help but stop breathing. 

Big brown eyes looking right at you, so soft and gentle. You sink into the warmth of his eyes on you, almost letting yourself drift away. But you’re mad and this stranger is the perfect person to let it all out on. 

“No they’re not a she, and even if it was you don’t know anything.” You look back down at your phone, tapping away at your keyboard finishing what you had started. When you hear him huff out a laugh, the frown that was on your face before quickly deepens. 

“You’re right, sweetheart, I don’t know anything. What I do know is when a pretty girl like yourself has been sitting alone at a bar for longer than an hour and suddenly starts tapping away on that thing, like you are right now, I know she’s been stood up.” 

His statement brings you right back out of your phone, willing yourself not to wipe that ‘know it all’ look right off of his pretty face. Your scowl is piercing right through him, hating the way that he could see right through you and yet not having a clue who you were. 

“Hey, I’m not judging,” He throws his hands up in surrender, “But I promise, whatever douche made someone as stunning as you, wait in a bar this long for ‘em, doesn’t deserve you. Plus, you’re too pretty to be lookin’ that angry.” He picks his glass up, finishing off the rest before nodding to the bartender for another. 

In any other situation you’d be telling them off, yelling at them to get lost, but something about this stranger feels different. You could write it off and say it’s because he’s attractive but in all actuality, it’s because he’s gentle when he says it. His eyes aren’t roaming your body like some pig, hoping to get into your panties by sweet talking to you. It’s like he actually cares about you, the stranger in her pretty dress who has been stood up by her date, like he’s known you his whole life. 

Slowly you set your phone down, relaxing the sour look on your face, and you take a deep breath. The last thing you want to do is cry, especially in a bar, and especially in front of the caring hot stranger. 

“Is it that obvious?” You ask shyly, picking up your martini glass for another sip. The man shakes his head, moving his posture so that he’s leaning towards you. 

“Don’t do that,” he says, “Don’t start thinking down on yourself. Yes it was a little obvious but my suspicion grew more when you didn’t order a drink after sitting at a bar for five minutes.” 

The statement makes you laugh wetly when he says it, a single tear escaping your eye causing you to wipe it hoping it’s not noticeable. If he sees it, he doesn’t say anything, instead moving over to the seat next to you. 

“Listen, don’t let whatever dickhead person ruin your night. From what I’ve witnessed you’re a pretty badass chick, so whatever frat bro did this to you should be scared.” An inked hand places a white napkin in front of you, a peace offering that you’re quick to take. 

“That’s the worst part, he’s not even a frat bro. He’s a finance bro.” When you chance a look up at him, he’s looking right back at you, pearly white teeth staring at you. 

In a split second he’s laughing, a deep belly kind of laugh with his head thrown back. As much as you want to defend yourself, tell him that Luke wasn’t your first choice, you can’t. Following suit, you start giggling as well, placing the white napkin to the corner of your eye to collect any unushered tears. 

“I gotta tell you sugar, that’s even worse.” The pet name doesn’t get lost on you, heart stuttering the minute it falls from his lips. Trying to pull yourself together, hoping he didn’t see the way you stiffened at the name, you clear your throat. 

“Tell me about it,” You playfully roll your eyes, taking a sip of what’s left of your drink. 

When you move your sight back over to him, he’s leaning back, dimples showing off, almost like he knows something you don’t. He does know something however, he knows that he has some sort of effect on you, watching you with pink flushing your cheeks and it’s not from the alcohol. 

“So,” You break the silence, “Sugar, huh?” You furrow your brows questioningly and it only makes him smile bigger than before. 

When he leans forward you catch a whiff of his scent, pine and cedar, musky and smoky. He’s even prettier up close and your eyes are trying to map out every detail of him so that you can remember it when you go to sleep tonight, dreaming of the good looking stranger who made your night better. 

“Well, between the softness of your laugh and your scowl that could kill,” his voice is low and husky, saying a secret for only you to hear, “You have a little bit of sugar and spice. Kind of like that cartoon with the badass power wielding girls.” 

“Do you mean the PowerPuff Girls?” Cocking your head to the side you laugh, his true age showing in the way that he described the Cartoon Network show. 

“I’m showing my true age, huh? Well, in my defense I was fifteen and you probably weren’t born yet.” His crows feet become more defined. Shaking your head, you wave to the bartender for another martini. 

“Actually, I was five but you were close enough.” His eyes go wide in shock with your admission. When another glass is placed in front of you, you send a smile to the bartender and he gives you one back. 

Looking back at the man next to you, you raise an eyebrow, questioning why he’s so surprised at your age. Blowing out a big breath it seems he’s been holding the whole time, he takes a swig of his own drink. 

“Sorry, I just,” he sighs, looking back up at you quizzingly, “wow, you’re really thirty?” Although there’s no malice behind his question, you can’t help but frown at him. He notices and immediately back tracks. 

“Fuck, no not like that I just meant,” You wait for him to dig himself a deeper hole. When he finally gets his thoughts together, he looks at you, really looks at you and it makes you want to melt. “Listen, I really didn’t mean it like that, I promise. Honestly, I felt like a perv when I first started talkin’ to you, thinkin’ you were like twenty one. When you said you were thirty, I was just surprised, that’s all. Maybe a little excited knowing I might have a chance.” 

You take in what he says to you, how sincere his voice is, and you know he isn’t lying. You don’t want to give in so fast though, you want him to sweat it out a bit. So you take a sip of your drink, your eyebrow still arched in fake annoyance. With an extra shot of courage, you look over at him, fake pout on your red stained lip. 

“How can you have a chance when I don’t even know your name?” Your voice is like silk, smooth and soft. The older man clearly likes it, the way a smirk is formed on his pink kissable lips is a clear indicator. 

“M’Eddie, Eddie Munson,” He offers you his ringed hand for a handshake, “And you are?” You give him your name and he hums with delight. “A pretty name for a pretty girl.” 

You snort loudly at his comment, covering your mouth to stop from any further laughter from falling from your lips. Eddie arches an eyebrow at you, questioning what you found so funny. 

“I’m sorry, that was just so corny.” Another giggle slips from you and the cool facade he had crumples, laughing along with you. 

“S’pretty bad, huh?’ He scrunches his nose and you think it might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. 

“Yeah it was bad, who told you that would work?” You take a sip of your martini and look at him from over the rim of your glass. 

Chuckling and shaking his head, Eddie rubs his forehead as if he’s stressed. Now he’s the one fumbling and nervous, you got him in the palm of your hand. 

“Goodness, it was going so well too.” You continue to tease, the playfulness dripping from your voice. Looking over at you Eddie can’t help but smile, those damn dimples back on display. 

“You’re trouble, sugar.” It’s said with the utmost confidence and it has you blushing.

“Oh you haven’t seen anything yet, babe.” It’s an invitation for him to find out and you hope he catches it. 

“How about I find out on Sunday over dinner and some drinks? What do you say?” Eddie leans into you when he says it, getting the closest he’s been to you, letting his husky voice fill your ears. 

Trying to hide the chill that runs up your back and the excitement that settles in your belly, you lean in just as close. “I’d say you have a date, pretty boy.” 

The two of you stay like that for a minute, smiling like giddy teens. Breaking away from the small moment, he pulls his phone out from his pocket, unlocking it and opening up the phone app to type in a new contact. 

Handing you the phone, his face seems boyish and giddy, you’re sure if he wasn’t sitting he’d be bouncing on the ball of his feet. Typing in your number, you shyly smile up at him handing back his phone. 

“I better hear from you Eddie Munson or finance bro won’t be the only one gettin’ his ass kicked.” Pointing a finger at him, you try your best to look as mean as possible but your plan quickly fails when you see his eyes shining at you. 

“Yes ma’am.” Throwing a wink at you, he reaches into his wallet and pulls a crisp hundred out and places it on the bar top. “I’ll be seein’ you soon, sugar.” Wrapping his fingers around yours, he places a kiss to the back of your hand. 

The feeling of his lips on your skin makes you ache for more, and the moment it’s gone you wish you can make him do it again. Pulling your lip in between your teeth, you look up at him like he’s hung the stars. 

The moment is cut short when the bartender asks Eddie if he wants change. Surprisingly he doesn’t look at the older man with anger for ruining it, instead he gives him a nice smile. 

“No Paul, the change is all yours. Also, this beautiful young lady’s drinks are on my tab.” Nodding his head, the bartender thanks Eddie for the generous tip. 

Pulling his attention back to you, he cuts you off before you can chastise him for paying. “Let me pay for the pretty girl who made my whole night, it’s the least I can do.” 

Rolling your eyes, you try hard to not let him see how flustered you are. When he bids you a goodnight, you can’t help but feel the ache of his absence. The whole time you’re in the Lyft home you think of him, staring out the window and replaying everything in your head. 

Once you get home, you sit in silence on the end of your bed, not worrying about the shower you need to take. You can’t believe the luck you had in meeting Eddie and a part of you wants to thank Luke for not showing up. 

The ding of your phone pulls you out of your thoughts, your heartbeat picking up when you read your screen. 

Maybe Eddie: Hey it’s Eddie, just wanted to make sure you got home safe. I wanted to ask if you could thank that loser for not showin up, he really did both of us a favor tonight. 

When you read it, you can’t help but giggle a little. Although corny and maybe a little dorky, Eddie had thought the same thing as you and for some reason it sent the butterflies in your tummy on a rampage. 

Maybe Eddie: You’re totally laughing at me right now, aren’t you?

Bursting into laughter, your tummy flips in excitement, imagining him blushing on the other side of the phone. Tapping away on your screen, you send him a reply. 

You: Oh you know it 😉

You: Thank you for making sure I got home by the way, I appreciate it. 

Eddie: I should’ve known. Glad you got home in one piece. 

Eddie: Night, sugar. See you Sunday 🖤

Fuck a text, you were going to send Luke a thank you card and maybe some chocolate.

I hope you guys liked this! I can't wait to continue this week with all of you! See you all tomorrow with the next fic :)

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[quellmythirst]

Going Up Part 5

Summary: The idiots go on a date.

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: Idiots, swearing, dates, fluff.

An: My dudes, I think might be the second to last one. Love you all.

Part 4

//Y/N//

You ended up borrowing a dress from Nat while at work yesterday, uncertain that anything in your closet would be appropriate for the posh venue you had picked out for the dinner you'd planned. You'd seen the suits Billy wore, pictures of the building he worked in and figured he would appreciate the effort of you picking out a nice restaurant in a swanky part of town.

Nat had done a full profile on Billy while you mined through her closet. It had everything from his service records to what he liked to eat for breakfast, though she had been unable to find any kind of record of him before he joined the marines. You didn't know why that was, but you assumed that it was from family money. You knew that the rich could pay their way off the records and with Anvil seeming to appear overnight it made sense that someone had paid all his expenses.

Shit, it was nearly time. You adjust your dress, the hemline just skimming over your knee, the fancy stilettos you had gathering dust in the back of your cupboard now adorning your feet. One last glance in the mirror and you see yourself, a picture of elegance and grace. You throw on a red coat, just in case the weather decides to turn. You feel so different from the normally stiff and businesslike attire you wear everyday, you looked like a woman. The confident, self assured woman that was on the inside was finally reflected in a way that wasn’t a power suit.

When you exit the elevator into the lobby, Billy is already waiting for you. His tight leather jacket clings to him in all the right ways, his dark jeans wrap around his dump truck ass and his hair kinda fluffy, it appeared so soft. You wonder how it would feel on your fingers.

You take a second to calm yourself and realise he looks a lot more casually dressed than you expected. A far cry from the crisp suits you were used to seeing him in. You feel your insides start to burn, God you had misread this so bad. How could you have worn this dress with your fuck me heels? Shit.

You couldn't recall what you said to him while you were drunk, but now you were starting to think maybe he had made a move on you and you had blown him off. FUCK! You scream at yourself internally, this was all Bucky’s fault he kept feeding you drinks trying to figure out when and where your date was happening. But you hadn’t told a soul except for Nat and only because she needed a reason before she would lend you her dress.

He stood from the wall he was leaning on, his eyes dancing over you in the dress, your height almost matching his in the heels you were wearing. How was he even hotter from this angle? Your eyes meet his in a perfect line from across the room and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Should you turn around? Come back later in a pair of jeans and t-shirt?

“Fuck,” he says, biting down on his lip as he approaches you, “you look stunning. I think I'm underdressed,” he looks down at his clothes, opening up his jacket to reveal a sweater.

“I'm gunna go change,” you say, turning away to head back up to your apartment, when a strong hand reaches out, catching you in the crook of your elbow.

“Don't you dare,” he leans in close to your ear, “I want everyone in New York to see the most beautiful woman in the city,”

“Oh, umm-” You feel yourself flustered at his words, “I made reservations for us. But if you wanted to do something else…” you trail off still not turning around. Not wanting him to see just how his hand on you was making your eyes cross.

“I had an idea, but we can do your thing first,” He pauses, and you catch him looking down the sweetheart neckline of your dress, “do I need to change?” he asks, shifting his eyes back to yours and taking a step back.

“No you'll be fine, I doubt anyone could turn you away,” you reply, gently shoving him in the arm.

"Good point" He winks at you, extending his elbow for you to take as he leads you to the car you had booked.

XxxX

You arrive at the French restaurant and Billy seems a bit taken aback at the choice you made, staring up at the large wooden sign.

“I really think I should've changed,” he says, peering up at the sign and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Nonsense, my boss is part owner of Maison Close, they have to let us in.” you say, opening the door for him to enter.

Approaching the hostess, her long blonde hair strung up in a tight ponytail, you watch her critical eyes fall over Billy and yourself. Well, she glanced at you, focusing instead on your date. Seemingly displeased when she sees his outfit, but smiling once her eyes land on his handsome face. Fuck, some people where just to easy.

“Good evening, welcome to Maison Close,” she says in a terribly fake French accent, “do you have a reservation?”

“Yes, 8pm for two under the name Stark,” you say, turning to smile up at Billy, his arm coming to rest around your waist when you both notice the hostess give him a flirty smile.

“I see, well Mr Stark is already here. Follow me,” she takes two menus, her hand gesturing outward for you to follow her.

“Hold on one sec,” you say to the woman before turning to Billy, “sorry, Tony said I could have the table tonight. I didn't realise he would be here.”

“I was hoping to have you all to myself,” Billy says, peering around the corner when he hears obnoxious laughter from the restaurant.

“That'll be him. Maybe we should go someplace else,” you say quickly looking around to see Tony surrounded by most of your friends. Unfortunately the billionaire spots you.

“Hey Stonie, come join us! Let me meet ya friend,” Tony yells from his signature booth in the back.

“Fuck,” you mutter, before taking Billy's hand, “Run,” You sprint out of the restaurant and into the busy street, running to get away with Billy running along behind you. Only stopping when you reach the next block and try to catch your breath.

“What was that about?” Billy asks, smoothing your hair back behind your ear, “don't want me to meet anymore of your friends?”

“No it's not that,” you sigh leaning back into the brick wall, “Tony's just-" you try to think of the right words, “-you know those friends that actually think they're your parents?” Billy nods, waiting for you to continue, “well, since I started my job he's been my dad friend. I'm pretty sure you'd never want to even associate with me after meeting him.”

“I'm sure that's not true,”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

“Did you want to go someplace else and eat? “He asks, “I know this great little Italian place a few blocks from here.”

“Sounds perfect,” you say, hoping he doesn't mean the one you think he means.

The walk was faster than you expected. The only sound the city passing you by as you try to think of something to say that's not going to ruin the evening. But nothing comes to mind. Instead you walk quietly and you can't remember the last time you shared a comfortable silence with anyone.

//Billy//

Fuck you looked so sexy in black, the dressing showing just the perfect amount of skin. While the red coat made sure that you stood out, he couldn't wait to get the full effect of the dress when you took it off. Though he had seen some of what was going on underneath, he couldn't help but wonder what the dress was truly hiding.

He did wonder however as you approached the Mom and Pop restaurant why you didn't want him to meet Tony Stark. The guy was a genius, surely he couldn't be that bad. The rest of your friends seemed to be amiable aside from who he now knew as the Black Widow. Were you embarrassed by him? Embarrassed that he had come to your date dressed down? Embarrassed that you'd gone on a date with a nobody meanwhile all of your friends were somebody.

He couldn't be sure, but the way you kept looking at him had him guessing. That perfect smile peering across at him while your red coat accentuated those pretty eyes. He'd held it together for this long, he could keep his hands to himself for a bit longer. All he had to do was wait and hope you don't realize that he's just been playing at this rich boy act.

Opening the door for you to the restaurant his hand almost on your back. The delicious smell of garlic and pasta in the air as he led you to a small leather booth. Taking the seat opposite as to not box you in and well, really he just wanted to keep looking at you. Memorizing the tiny changes in your face with every expression, if this was the only date he ever got with you, he was not going to forget it.

“Evening kids, just the usual?” The waitress asked you both.

“Ah yeh,” you both stammer at the same time.

“Do you come here a lot?” He asks, a dry laugh following the question.

“Umm. Yeah, sorry I didn't say. I wasn't quite sure. But yeah, this is where we debrief usually.” You say twirling a stray hair around your finger, those delicate little fingers that got to touch you, how he hoped that maybe they would touch him.

“Me too, me and Frank came here all the time after-” he pauses, maybe he shouldn't tell you that.

“I have something to tell you,” you say, coyly looking away, a sign that he had seen on the face on guilty parties in the past. His heart skips a beat, worried that you figured him out. Maybe you’re going to tell him this is some sick joke or that you're actually investigating him and his company, what he doesn’t expect is the blush that creeps up your neck, the cute way you kind of hide your face. Maybe he could just delay the inevitable. He held his breath as you continued to speak, “I don't know if you figured it out yet but I-” he cuts you off, wanting to regain control of this conversation. If you talked about yourself more, he thought you would be less inclined to ask him about himself. That was safer, easier.

“You're an Avenger? Yeah, Captain Rogers kind of gave that one away,” he says, taking a sip of his drink. He could see you taking the bait, people loved talking about themselves and it gave him the perfect opportunity to hide.

“Not so much, I'm more of a-” you pause, staring off into the distance, “a consultant,” You say with confidence before continuing, "and I may have well- I looked you up,” you blurt out all at once. He feels his drink catch in his throat, but thankfully he doesn’t think you noticed.

It takes a minute for him to process, what did they have on him? Surely you must know everything then, so why were you here? Why had you asked him out if you knew? Was this actually a honey trap? Maybe you only found the good parts? Maybe you liked the bad?

“There's something I need to tell you as well,” he thinks out loud, when his mind stops spiraling.

“What's that?” You ask, turning your gaze upon him curiosity lacing your delicate features. Your elbow resting on your table, holding your chin in your palm. Fuck he wished it was his hand on your face, to trace the soft line of your jaw.

“You look absolutely stunning in that dress,” he says, taking your other hand from across the table and placing a small kiss on it.

“Thank you, I borrowed it from a friend,” you smile, those beautiful eyes sparking in the dim lights of the restaurant, the goose flesh spreading up your arm from where his lips touched. He feels his heart start to pick up and has to let go of your hand, lest he take you right here.

You spend the next hour in polite conversation, he tells you about Anvil and you ask about Frank. He tells you stories from the war, about Frank and his small family. You discuss your job, though he can tell you’re withholding things. He can't exactly blame you, he himself carefully misdirecting questions about his own childhood when he asks about yours.

“I've got it,” he says, taking the bill and leaving a very generous tip for the waitress, “want to go see a movie?”

“That would be wonderful,"

He led you to an old style theater, seeing you jump up excitedly when you saw where he was taking you was worth every penny of booking the place out. He could never really thank The Black Widow enough for her tip about the movie, even if he thought she might try to kill him if he did anything she didn't like. He was glad he called them the night he dropped you off drunk, his need to impress you outweighing the cost of anything. He had asked them to play Sabrina, hoping the romantic movie would be to your tastes.

“This is amazing,” you squeal, taking your seats right in the middle of the empty theatre.

“I'm glad you like it”, he says, putting his arm around your shoulder, your hand lands on his knee as you lean into him. His body shivering when his watches you take off your coat and throw it it aside. The popcorn sits between you as you watch the couple on screen fall in love for the millionth time. No words are exchanged but he can feel the electricity in the air, like somehow lightning had struck and was buzzing its way between the two of you.

He's disappointed when the movie ends, wishing that he could spend just a few more hours in the dark silence with you. Your hand absentmindedly grazing along his thigh, his own brushing down the side of your arm while you enjoyed the picture.

The sound of the rain echo's on the pavement as you enter the lobby, the smell of popcorn and petrichor filling the air as Billy ponders his prospects.

"Fuck, I didn't bring an umbrella," you shout pulling your coat up over your head.

"I'll get is a cab," Billy says, standing in the street, trying to hail a taxi. But there isn't one in sight, shit what was he going to do? He couldn't make you walk in the rain.

"We're only a few minutes away," you say, linking your arm with his and turning your collar up, "we can walk,"

You walk into the rain, not wanting to run incase you fell over in those shoes. He's trying to focus on keeping you steady when he spots a covered door frame.

"In here," he yells over the rain, pulling you into it behind him, his body shielding you from the rain..

"God you feel so warm," the heat in your eyes warming him up to the core. He sees your breath in the air, the coolness of the night washing over him as you huddle together.

He can't stop staring at you. he sees the way your staring at his lip, his tongue darting out and tasting the fresh fallen water across them. If he just-

"Hmpf-" he mumbles, surprised by your action as you yank him down into a kiss. Fire and heat soak his body, misting in the rain as he presses you deeper into the door behind. His hand holding you jaw, sparks of desire keeping your face close to his as he tried to pour his months of frustration into this one action. Absorbing your delicate taste, the fresh rain, buttered popcorn and something sweet he can't quite name. Only pulling back when he feels your breath start to slow.

"Fuck," you breathe when he pulls away.

"That bad huh? You did surprise me. Let me try again," he says his arm encircling your waist as he pulls your body flush to his, your tits pressing into his chest as his thumb tilts your chin up. His thick tongue sweeping into your warm mouth, the world around him disappears and all that remains is you and your lips.

Part 6

Tags:

@sirius-is-hot @eliwinchester-barnes @hscot94 @fictional-hooman @nycophiliia @profoundme444

[highdramas]

the billboard said the end is near | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, canon typical violence, bucky is soft and loves his doll and will do anything to keep her safe

word count: 2184

summary: bucky is protective over what has given him solace.

note: here's tawlb part 4! you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like!

enjoy! <3

chaos has always controlled your life.

in all of the best ways, and all of the worst ones, too. in the best ways, it has allowed you to not take life too seriously. it has allowed you to let things roll off your shoulders and keep your easy breezy demeanor. you like to think that you don’t allow the little things to affect you-- you also note that it’s because the big things have been so all consuming.

who knew that turning to dust for five years would turn your life into such a shit show?

the five years hadn’t felt like five years to you at all. it felt like one day, you had been laying on your couch watching tv, and then five years later you were appearing in someone else’s apartment. all of your things, gone.

you will never forget their screams as they watched you materialize from nothing.

of course, you can’t blame them. and it wasn’t just this apartment. the screams and the chaos broke through the entire building. people busting from doors, crying and scrambling to use their cell phones, to see if this was really happening.

the couple that had moved into your apartment after you dusted had been kind, all things considered. the woman had held you and you could feel her crying and she kept saying do you have family? do you know their numbers?

finally, you couldn’t help yourself. you had asked, “what happened to me?”

“you’ve been gone for five years, honey.”

these sorts of revelations had ruled your life for the months since you came back.

like when you called your boyfriend only to find out that he was engaged.

like when you found out that you certainly didn’t have a job anymore.

like when you found out that you had no apartment, no savings, no anything. nothing left.

it has been over a year since the blip and you are still feeling the repercussions from it. you are still feeling the hurt of having your life upended, you are still feeling the hurt of missing a life that went on without you. it’s hard not to daydream about what could’ve been. what could’ve stayed the same.

then bucky looks at you, and you’re reminded that not all change is bad.

change is hard but you know that he kisses you and it makes your brain fuzzy, he lays you back on your mattress and he stays with you until the sun rises. change is hard but you introduce him as my boyfriend, james to every new person you meet and you watch as he smiles and pride lingers in his eyes and he carefully places his arm around your shoulders. change is hard but he doesn’t wear the gloves around you anymore.

change is hard, but bucky is better than any of it.

he’s been gone more than normal lately.

of course, you understand. and, really, you think it might be good for him. not the fighting-- while you understand the benefit it has for him, the purpose that it gives him, that’s not the thing that you believe serves him best. no, it is sam. it is sam’s family. it is knowing that there are other people out there in the world who are looking at him the same way that you look at him.

okay, maybe not exactly the same.

bucky had sent you a text from that stupid dinky flip phone that morning, saying that he would be home that night. the implications go unsaid.

you and the winter soldier have formed quite the routine-- he has a key to your apartment on his keyring (it’s a disney princess key. it’s the only spare that you had, and the laughter that erupted from you had made him relent in trying to barter for the cat printed key you have). he’s going to let himself in, probably around ten. you’ll already have the chinese takeout spread out on the table. you’ll spread your arms out and do little jazz hands towards the food and you’ll say, “ta-da.”

and you will watch as the tension in his shoulders starts to ease and he sets his duffel bag down in your entryway and he will cross the room to you. his arms will snake around your waist and his face will be buried into the crook of your neck. he will sigh and you will stroke his hair and you will say, “welcome home, buck.”

but now, it is nine. it is nine and you are curled up on your couch and kitty rests in your lap and you feel yourself growing antsy waiting for bucky to come home. she looks up at you and lets out that little trill as you scratch her head and you smile.

the smiling doesn’t last long.

the building that you and bucky live in is not swanky by any means. it was built in the 40s, with creaky floors and ugly carpeted hallways. the walls are thin and you can hear everything-- really, everything. and the shouting and commotion is certainly not typical.

you move to stand just as the door bursts--or explodes, you’re not sure which is the better word-- open. a scream leaves your lips and you hold onto your cat for dear life, scrambling back into your bedroom and clicking the door behind you. your limbs are shaking and you nearly trip over your dresser and your cat nearly claws your arm off.

you hear bucky before you see him.

“you really think i wasn’t gonna find out about this little stunt?” you’ve never heard his voice like this-- so low, so full of absolute rage. “you’re out of your fucking mind.”

the other person is stammering and though you don’t see the blow that bucky lands on their face, you do hear the aftermath. bucky is talking to someone and you finally set your cat down and you hear bucky on the other side of the door. “doll, it’s me.”

you open the door and look at him with a pounding heart and shaking hands. he looks just as shaken, but more than that-- he’s angry. his fists are clenched at his sides. “buck--” you lay a hand on your chest and you try to gain control of your breathing and you can see that he is doing the same. “what happened?”

bucky hesitates. you watch the gears turning in his head, and it makes your head tilt to the side. “bucky, i’m not kidding-- tell me.”

“we were on our way back and sam got a tip from torres that the flag smashers were--” he cringes even at the thought and he shakes his head. “they were going to try and--”

you watch as he struggles to say it, to really say it, and you touch his face. the touch seems to open him up. his hand takes your wrist and he rubs his thumb along the bone. “they wanted to take you as a hostage.”

a hostage.

bucky opens his mouth to say something else as you blink, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that someone wanted to take you as a hostage, but sam interrupts him. “sharon’s got the guy in cuffs downstairs,” he says in your doorway. when you look, you can see that a mess has been made of your living room-- and not the sort of mess that you create. no, it is a mess of destruction and chaos. “i’m gonna head out. call me if you need anything, i’m staying in town.”

bucky nods and you muster up your best smile to sam and then you look at bucky and you say quietly, “can we go to your apartment?”

he nods and you scoop up kitty and you pad down the hall beside him, still in your loungewear and fuzzy socks. you notice that he constantly keeps a hand on you. whether it’s his fingers tangling with yours or his arm around your shoulders or his palm pressed into the small of your back-- you know exactly what it is that he’s doing, and you lean into every touch, hoping that the contact whispers i’m here, i’m here, i’m here, and you are not losing me.

kitty drops to the floor and, surprisingly, it’s bucky that speaks before you do. “you’re gonna move in here. with me.” he stares at you firmly. “i’m gonna make sure that you’re safe. and the safest place you can be is with me.”

you open your mouth to reply but he continues. “i can’t--” you watch the gears in his head turning, the scenarios turning over and over and over again in his mind. “i can’t lose you.”

“buck…” you move over to him and you place your hands on his face. his eyes are fixed on the wall behind your head, and you watch as guilt overcomes him and you can practically hear him saying if i hadn’t been there in time… “bucky, you’re not going to.”

you feel his hands fist into the material of your t shirt and he holds you even closer. “i’ll move in with you,” you finally whisper against the stubble of his jaw. “and not just for safety. because i want to live with you.”

bucky pulls away and he looks at you with a wobbling lip and you shush him. “i’m okay,” you whisper and you lean your forehead on his. “i’m okay, and i’m here, and i’m staying.”

“okay.”

his hand caresses the back of your head and you touch the place where his heart is. you watch his shoulders rise and fall, you watch his eyes flutter shut and you see some of the tension finally seep out of his pores. he opens his eyes at you and he looks so tired.

“i sleep on the floor,” he blurts it as he pulls away slightly. for a moment, it looks like he regrets it, the way that he winces slightly. “i don’t like… i don’t like sleeping in the bed. it’s too… soft. i always slept in your bed when i stayed over because i didn’t want you to wake up and i wasn’t there.”

“bucky…” you lean into every single place that he touches. “i’ll sleep on the floor with you.”

an incredulous sort of laugh leaves bucky as he stares down at you. he shakes his head a bit. “i don’t want you to do that.”

“i don’t care,” you say with a steely resolve and confident defiance, jutting your chin up at him. “because i’m sleeping next to you. tonight, and every night after. i don’t care where. i’ll never care where.”

bucky’s exhale is shaky and broad arms encircle your waist entirely, drawing you in closer and closer. his face presses into your neck, the exact way that you had imagined him coming home to you hours earlier. you can feel his lips pressing into your skin, can feel the sheer need in it. “i don’t deserve you,” every movement of his lips against your neck is entirely felt, sending sparks through your limbs. “i don’t know what i did to get this lucky.”

“shh,” you rake your fingernails down his scalp and you can feel his fingers gripping you tighter. “if you say that stupid shit again, i’ll kill you. you deserve me.” you tap his chin and he fixes his gaze on you. “and i deserve you. we deserve each other. we deserve to be happy. together. and i’m tired of people thinking otherwise.”

bucky finally cracks a smile. “you’re very stubborn.”

“i thought you liked that about me.”

“i love that about you.” he takes a beat. “among other things.”

you bite down on your lip and finally lean up on your tiptoes. “i promise i’ll be a good roommate.”

“that’s bullshit,” he says and his hands find the curve of your waist once more, traveling to your hips. “i’m going to be cleaning up after you every damn day.”

“yeah, probably.” your hand goes to the back of his head. “it will feel safe. staying here.”

bucky’s nose trails up the side of your face. “good.” he presses his lips to your jaw. “i’m sorry about your apartment. that fucker would’ve been dead if you weren’t there.” he grows more serious again. “i would never let anyone get away with anything like that. i will never let it get that far again, doll. i swear to god.”

“bucky,” you breathe. “i know. it’s okay.” you take his hand and you pull a few blankets off his couch, toss down a few pillows. “let’s go to sleep.”

there’s a twinkle in his eye as he watches you shuffle around his apartment, putting together a makeshift bed on the floor. you fluff the pillows before setting them down and you give him a smile that tells him everything is going to be alright.

even though he says you moving in is about keeping you safe… he sleeps that night on the hardwood, holding you, and he feels safer too.

[bestiesenpai]

Perfect Student - Geto Suguru

I love slimy Geto :) although i’m not sure how slimy he actually is here lol femme reader, 3k words

TW: manipulation, abuse of power(?), dubcon, biting(not a lot), spanking

You weren’t the best university student, you were willing to admit. A few classes skipped than deemed appropriate, a couple missed assignments you’d rather not think about again, and some test scores that were down right abysmal.

But you shouldn’t be failing your class completely! A string of low grades on your last few assignments was worrying you. You understood the course material just fine, yet your work was apparently not reflecting it. Making an appointment with your professor, you could only hope he’d shed some light onto the situation.

“Mr. Geto?” Knocking on his office door, you found it swung open with ease. It was late afternoon, no need for any lights to be on in his office as the large window to the side got plenty of light from the slowly setting sun.

“Ah, you’re here.” He smiled at you from behind his desk, his hair in that familiar half bun he sports. The sleeves of the button up he’d had on during class are pushed up past his elbows, revealing his taut forearms. “Take a seat.” He makes a sweeping gesture to the swanky brown leather armchair on the other side of the desk.

“Thanks.” You said quietly, stiffly sitting in the chair and avoiding his narrowed eyes looking you over. You weren’t usually so nervous, you talked up a bit in class if you knew the answer, but being here with the warmth of the sun heating half your face and your admittedly very attractive teacher staring at you, it made your heart thump harder.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Geto leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and his head in his hands.

“Well sir, I’ve noticed my grades haven’t been the best recently on some of the work I’ve turned in?” You don’t mean to phrase it like a question and it makes your cheeks burn. “A-and I understand the material for this lesson pretty well, so I- so I, uh…” Losing your train of thought, you glance at Geto’s unreadable expression.

“So you came to get a better grade? Let me pull up your grades on the computer and see.” Turning to the monitor sitting on the desk corner, Geto types away. With his focus not on you, you can finally breathe a little easier. “Oh (Y/N)...” Geto tsks and it makes you worry.

“What?” Wide eyed, you lean forward to try and see what he sees.

“I’m just looking at your past grades and you’ve got quite a bit of missing work.”

“Y-yes I know but-”

“But nothing.” He says it softly but it still manages to shut you up. “Care to explain why that happened?”

Truthfully, you had no reason other than laziness. You’d missed one, then it spiraled into two, three- you’d managed to catch up before it got too bad, though, or at least so you thought. You stayed silent, eyes tracing the wood grains in the desk.

“Hm, no answer. That’s a shame.” Clicking a few things, Geto ticked a brow upwards. “Looking at your recent work, I don’t know if there’s anything you can do.”

“What?” That makes your head snap up in fear. It was only the middle of the term, surely your grade wasn’t that far gone? “Mr. Geto, what-”

“Call me Suguru, please. It’s just us here, we aren’t in class.” He cuts you off with a raise of his hand and an easy smile.

“Suguru…” You say it slowly, worrying your lip briefly. “My grade can’t be that bad already that there’s nothing I can do.”

“Take a look for yourself.” Turning the monitor towards you, Suguru’s smile got bigger seeing your devastated face. Your grade was beyond horrible, the number on the top of the screen making your stomach churn.

“But I...I just checked it for myself not too long ago. How could it have changed like that?” Leaning back in your chair in shock, thoughts spiraled in your head. Lost in your own world, you didn’t pay any attention to your teacher.

He stood up slowly, brushing down the front of his shirt as he tucked in his chair. Shuffling a few things on his desk to the side, he smoothed his hand on the empty space he created as he rounded the corner, leaning against it as he stood in front of you.

“What can I do to fix my grade?” Looking up at him, Suguru nearly cooed at the pitiful look in your eyes.

“What’re you willing to do?” His voice is staggeringly low, a mere rumble in his chest and throat. He barely speaks them properly, they just tumble forth and into your lap. You take a pause, sizing up the way your teacher takes up so much space in front of you, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest.

“What do you mean?” You know exactly what he means, you can see the slightest bulge forming in the front of his pants.

“I think you’re smart enough to figure it out.” Suguru chuckles, letting his hair out of it’s bun and draping it across his shoulders. Licking your lips nervously you stare at him, throat tightening the longer you look at the sunkissed beauty.

“Okay.” Whispering quietly, you shuffle your bag out of your lap, you begin to fiddle with your bottoms.

“Hold on, where’s the rush? We should savor this moment, hm?” Grabbing your hands, Suguru pulls you up to standing. Wrapping an arm around your waist he grabs your chin and tilts your face toward him.

He kisses you gently, getting a feel for your demeanor. The hand around your waist grips you tighter, his fingers digging in painfully and making you squirm closer to him to try and get away. Your hands clamp down onto his shoulders to steady yourself, a muffled whimper coming from you.

Suguru slips his tongue into your mouth with ease, slotting his mouth together with yours and overtaking your senses. Even with your eyes squeezed shut, you’re surrounded by his presence and overwhelmed with the energy he has just below the surface.

“S-sugu-” Your voice breaks when he leaves the kiss and moves onto your neck, nipping at the column of your throat and behind your ear.

“Sugu? That’s cute.” He chuckles while tugging the collar of your shirt down. Kissing the new skin before him, Suguru wastes no time in biting down. A sharp cry leaves you at the sudden pain, hands flying to try and push him away. “Calm down.” It’s all the warning Suguru gives you and then he’s biting you again, higher up on your neck.

Suguru sucks harshly on your neck, his teeth digging into the flesh with no remorse. Tugging on his hair, you’re worried about the marks that’ll be left behind, the ones you’ll have to explain to your friends after this meeting with your teacher.

“Take this off.” Tugging at the bottom of your top, Suguru releases you from his hold. “That too.” He mumbles when you make no move to take your bra off as well.

“Sir…” Crossing your arms over your chest, embarrassment washes over you. It was fine when you were just kissing him, but now clothes were coming off and- and did you really want to do this? Taking a look back at the monitor however, you knew this was the only option. There wasn’t any other teacher for this subject, and if you backed out now there would only be more headaches later.

“No need to be shy, little one.” Suguru chuckles and pushes away from the desk. Putting his hands on your shoulders, he guides you to take his spot, pushing you to sit on the empty space he made. Curling his fingers around your wrist, Suguru is gentle as he holds both your arms away from you.

Craning your head away, you can’t stand to see the lustful look in his eyes as they roam over your topless body. Suguru bites his lip, letting out a low whistle as he lets go of one of your arms to cup your breast.

“You’re so pretty.” He says, eyes focused on the way your nipple pebbles under his thumb. Tugging on it, Suguru chuckles when you whimper and his eyes dart up to your face. “What a nice little noise.” Standing between your legs, Suguru puts your arm around his shoulders and leans in, kissing your neck on the other side while he plays with your breasts.

Twirling the ends of his hair with your fingers, the feeling of his fingers going over your nipples makes an ashamed heat settle between your legs. Unable to clench your thighs together to relieve the building pressure, you settle for squirming on his desk.

Pushing you back to lean on your hand, Suguru takes a nipple into his mouth. He flicks it a few times with his tongue before nibbling softly, scraping his teeth against the bud as his other hands makes work with the neglected breast.

“S-sugu, please-” Vocalizing what you wanted was near impossible, especially since you shouldn’t be wanting it in the first place. But the heat between your legs was killing you, and a few tugs to the ends of his hair wrapped between your fingers got him to stand up a little straighter.

“Getting antsy?” Suguru teases with a light pink flush on his cheeks. You nod, lip caught between your teeth as your eyes go down to his now prominent bulge.

“I want it.”

“Show me what you want.” He challenges immediately, a sick grin on his face. Nodding again, the hand on his shoulder drops down to run along his chest and down to it. As you work on unbuttoning his slacks, Suguru undoes a few buttons on his shirt, exposing smooth skin that’s slightly damp with sweat.

Pulling his hard cock out, it’s hot and heavy in your palm. Pumping it slowly, the veins that run up and down the length pulse beneath your fingertips, blood rushing straight to the head of his cock where it leaks precum straight onto the floor.

Suguru is pulling your bottoms and underwear down as you stroke his cock, his nails scraping against your skin from his eagerness to have you completely bare before him. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see him pocket your underwear, but you don’t bring it up. You know you won’t be getting it back anyway.

“Look at this pretty fucking pussy.” Spreading your legs wide, Suguru practically salivates at the sight of your glistening cunt. “What a shame my pretty little student was hiding this from me for so long! I should mark you down just for that!”

“Sorry.” Chuckling bashfully, you let his cock go as Suguru tugs you closer to him, your ass beginning to hang off the edge of the desk.

“You’ll make it up to me, right?” He laughs lightly as well, grabbing your legs and putting them around his waist. “Good girl.” He hums when you nod obediently, head clouded with lust and a desire to please him.

The tip of his cock presses into you with ease, the smear of his precum and your arousal making an easy entrance. Your arms wrap around his shoulders to keep you steady as he bottoms out, a shiver running up both of your spines at the feeling.

“Fuck-” Suguru barks suddenly, drawing his hips back. “You’re milking me already, I can barely pull out.” Snapping his hips forward again, Suguru delights in the wet slap that comes from it. Beginning to rock into you, he can see the fabric of his pants staining darker from your juices, a wet patch surely forming on his desk under you as well.

Planting a hand next to you, Suguru’s back curves against his shirt as he fucks you. He had wanted to take it slow, this was only the thing he’d been working towards since classes started, but the drag of his cock against your walls was demolishing that plan.

“Sugu!” You cried, burying your face into the crook of his neck. Your breath fanning over him added to the heat washing over him, more sweat accumulating under his clothes and sticking to your face.

Hearing you moan and whine beneath him drove Suguru wild and he couldn’t help the way his other hand pulled up from your thigh and slapped back down, making you jump and tighten around him.

“My slutty little student- how naughty you are.” Slapping your thigh a few more times, Suguru pushes his hand between you and finds your clit with his thumb, rubbing it in tight circles. Choked moans came from your lips and you squeezed him tighter.

“Sugu- sir- ah, fuck-” The wet slapping sound gets louder, your slick gushing out of you at this point and coating Suguru. Lifting your heavy head, you kiss him, teeth knocking together and accidentally biting his lip as you try to slide your tongue into his mouth.

Suguru leans forward to kiss you harder, nearly making you fall over from the weight. His finger moves faster on your clit, desperate to have you cum on his cock. His orgasm is coming faster than he would have liked and he doesn’t want to cum without feeling you fall apart around him.

He ends up leaning so far forward, you really do fall back, lips breaking apart as you crumple onto the desk. Suguru pulls you forward by your hips, your ass now nearly completely off the desk as he fucks you.

“Fucking little slut- gonna make me cum-” His bottom lip is between his teeth, clamping down so hard it just might draw blood if he keeps going. Suguru’s hair tickles your skin as he moves, cascading down around you and sticking briefly to your skin.

“Please, please-” Your voice catches in your throat as you cum. No sound comes out of you, your back arching high off the desk as the pleasure finally comes to a peak.

“Fucking beautiful!” Suguru smiles like a madman, his fingers moving even faster on your clit as you rhythmically tighten around him. He kisses your slack mouth, swallows the forced gasps and moans that come from yours chest as your lungs burn for oxygen.

Slapping your ass a few times, Suguru cums inside you. Pushing his cock in as deep as possible he grinds himself against you, pushing a long, low groan into your mouth as he does. The hand on your cunt drops away, wrapping wet and sticky fingers around your thigh as he moves away from your mouth to breathe.

“What a...what a good student I have.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he catches his breath. Letting your legs fall slack, Suguru pushes a hand on your bladder to feel himself slide out of you.

As his cock leaves you, there’s a dribble of his cum that follows, staining your cunt white and dripping down between the crack of your ass and to the floor. Rubbing a hand on your thigh, Suguru gathers the cum dripping out and pushes it back in.

“Shouldn’t waste any now.” He hums, tracing his fingers up and down your cunt.

“T-too much.” You whine pathetically, trying in vain to grab his hand and stop him. Catching your hand in his, Suguru relents and threads his fingers through yours. The gesture is sweet, even more so when he kisses the back of your hand.

“Such a sweet student I have, wanting to hold my hand.” You giggle at the sentiment, cheeks getting warmer the longer he looks at you with that smile on his face. “Let’s hope you can keep this up for the rest of the term, and maybe I won’t fail you.”

Of course this wouldn’t be a one time thing. Suguru intended to milk this opportunity for all he could, already planning on having you stay after his lesson so he can play with your cunt before his next class.

“Go ahead and get dressed.” Helping you sit up, Suguru untangled himself from you and grabbed a few tissues, putting them in your hand as he started fixing himself up. The sun had gone down even farther during your little escapade, no longer baking the room in warm orange light. It left only a dim, cool glow now, and the heat it provided you was quickly leaving your body along with the sweat evaporating on your skin.

“If you want to keep your grade up, I think we should keep meeting regularly to discuss your progress.” Suguru had his teaching voice on now that he was leading you out of his office ten minutes later, your panties stuffed into his back pocket. There were a few other people passing by in the hall, some giving quick waves to the two of you as they saw you.

“Okay, Mr. Geto.” You knew to play the part well, not wanting to arouse suspicion by calling him by his first name. No one in your class called him Suguru, and especially not Sugu.

“Glad you understand.” He patted your shoulder quickly, giving you a cheeky wink when no one was looking. “I look forward to seeing you in class tomorrow, (Y/N).” Giving your arm a brief squeeze, he sent you on your way. Turning back to his office, he closed the door and locked it, going back to his desk and laying your panties across his lap.

Pulling out his phone, he snapped a few pictures of your underwear, sniffing it briefly before putting it back in his pocket.

“Professor Satoru is gonna love this.”

[starshine-hockey-girl]

Full Disclosure- Journey to the Emerald City

Author’s Note- This is probably the darkest chapter in the Teddy/Lex story in terms of content and angst. Please don’t judge the therapy portions of the chapter. It’s probably not totally authentic. I promise happy endings for Teddy and Lex though. 

Word count - 8.5K (Sorry it got a little long)

@hockeyunits @miranda0102 @newlibrary @mattytkachuk19​

Content Warnings- Alcohol Use; Mentions/Descriptions of Physical/Mental/Verbal/Emotional Abuse and Sexual Assault; Intercourse; Oral Sex; SMUT

January 3rd, 2019

Teddy held Lex's hand as they exited the therapist's office. They walked quietly to his truck and he opened the door for her. She looked down and didn't make eye contact as she passed in front of him. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him, "You're upset Bliss. Tell me why." 

She kept her head down, "I am sorry that you have to do this with me, Lex. I know that it's not your thing."

Lex took a deep sigh, "Maybe it could be my thing. It's just a new skill for me to learn. Also I don't HAVE to do this. I suggested it because both of us need it, not just you. I chose to do this with you."

Teddy looked up into eyes, "You really mean that?"

Lex smiled, "Yes, I think it was very helpful to me. I have a lot to learn about expressing my emotions. You are way more smarter at this stuff than me. You gotta teach me."

Teddy smiled, "You are a natural at it already. You really went deep."

Lex laughed, "That's what she said."

Teddy rolled her eyes, "Funny. You are a funny man."

Later that night, Lex took Teddy out for a belated birthday dinner since he was on the road on her actual birthday. He wanted to take her somewhere swanky, but she requested casual and low-key. They ended up at their favorite hole in the wall Italian place. After Lex placed their appetizer order, Teddy took a big gulp of her cocktail and asked, "Do you really think you will be back in the lineup tomorrow night?" She watched him intently as he considered his answer.

"I think so based on the conversations I have had with coaches. Winnipeg is a big, physical team so they will want me in there," he said casually. Teddy grimaced at the word physical which she knew translated to big hits and possibly fighting. It would be his first game back in the line-up after being cleared from the concussion protocol and being a healthy scratch. Lex noted her reaction and pressed on, "What are you thinking Bliss?"

"Physical meaning what? Hitting and checking or fighting? Do you think you will have to fight anyone?" she said quietly. 

Lex thought for a moment, "I don't know. I wish I could tell you definitely no, but I can’t make that promise to you. I do know that, unlike the Washington game, there is no one looking to fight me." They stared at each other, lost in their own thoughts and contemplating their next words. They were both tempted to suppress their thoughts and move on to a more neutral, less painful topic. Both knew that they couldn't.

"Are you scared Lex?" Teddy finally asked timidly.

"A little bit." he said quickly as he placed his hand on top of hers, "Are you scared?"

"A little bit," she answered, "Not as much as I thought I would be though. The first game is going to be hard, but I know that you have a job to do and that you are good at it. If you are worried about me and my reaction, it will be harder for you to focus, right?" Lex nodded his head yes. "How about we try our plan again? I won't watch the game and you can call me when it's all over?"

"Sounds like a good plan, but eventually, I want you to be able to watch a game, Bliss. It means a lot to me when you do," he reminded her. 

Teddy grabbed his hand. "If you need me to watch this game, I will-absolutely."

"No, you set a perfectly reasonable limit. I respect that, just eventually I would like to watch one again," He tried to smile. 

Teddy felt the anxiety building in her, "This is hard- so fucking hard," she whimpered. Lex kissed her hand and inched closer to kiss her cheek and forehead, "Yes, but we can do hard things." 

"Yes, we can. I am proud of us for talking about it. Look at us using our therapy skills," she smiled at him. 

Lex grinned and took a big gulp of beer, "Sorry your birthday has been a bust this year. I was hoping to make it better than last year."

Teddy leaned towards him and put her hand on his thigh, "I don't think it's a total bust yet. I am going to stuff myself with pasta, get a little tipsy and go home and make love to my favorite person." 

Lex wiggled his eyebrows, "I like the way you think Bliss."

January 4, 2019

Teddy waited at home for Lex’s post game call. She had spent most of the evening focused on filming content and editing. She willed herself not to google the game and not to continue to watch the clock. When she saw his name light up on her phone, she grabbed it quickly. 

Lex: Hey Bliss Babe

Teddy: You’re okay?

Lex: Not a scratch on me, Bliss. 

Teddy: Come home. I am going to have to do a very thorough body search to ensure that you are injury free. I am particularly concerned about the pelvic area. 

Lex: Yes ma’am. Be home soon. 

Teddy: When you get home, I have an idea I want to run by you.

Lex: Sounds good. See you soon.

Teddy: Hey Lex- I'm really proud of you.

Lex: Why?

Teddy: Because you did the scary thing. Love you so much.

Lex: Love you too.

Teddy leapt to her feet when she heard his key in the door. By the time Lex was completely in the door, Teddy jumped into his arms, "Lex!" He let out a hearty laugh as she showered his face with kisses, "You're home!!!"

Lex set her down gently, "Bliss, why are you so happy?" 

Teddy grabbed his hands and jumped up and down, “I am happy because you are home safe and sound. I am also happy that you won. Mostly I am hoping that I can convince you to go along with my plan."

Lex raised an eyebrow, "What's the plan?"

Teddy clapped her hands together, "I want to go back to St. Thomas during All Star break. We can go just us or we can invite Johnsy and Taylor"

"Hell yes! Let's invite Johnsy and Taylor. It will be good for him to get away" he cheered.

"Now, get in the bedroom. I have a very thorough examination to complete. Strip down Oleksiak!" 

"When did you get so bossy, Bliss?" He laughed as started to strip his clothes while walking into the bedroom.

She laughed, "I've always been bossy. Are you just now noticing?" She pushed him onto the bed and climbed onto his lap. She playfully tossed his hair before kissing the scar from his fight with Wilson. Lex hummed as she peppered his face with kisses before moving to his jaw. She moved onto his shoulders, lighting nibbling his collarbone, causing him to yelp. 

"Bliss, I thought you were supposed to be inspecting me for injuries, not causing them," he laughed. She stuck out her tongue and moved off of his lap in-between his legs. She took her tongue and slid it over his pectoral muscle, making a circle around his nipple, before taking it between her teeth. He hissed in pleasure and she felt his cock hard against her stomach. His fingers wrapped into her curls and he pulled back slightly to see her face. She licked her lips and bent over, taking the tip of his cock into her mouth and sucking methodically. "Damn Bliss, your mouth feels amazing." Her tongue swirled as her rhythmic movements began. She varied the speed and intensity, just the way that he liked. She took a moment to breathe before taking his entire length into her mouth. His grip on her hair tightened and he pulled harder, jerking her head back. Her eyes flashed upward and she gasped in panic. 

She tapped his hands and shook her head swiftly, "Let go Lex". His hands did not move and they pushed her head ever so slightly forward. She leaned back against his gasp, "I said let go Lex." Her hands went to her hair and she pulled his hands off her head with force. His eyes grew big and her words registered in his mind. He opened his mouth to speak and she held up her hand to stop him. She bent over and started her actions again. She took his hands and interlaced her fingers with his. She gently squeezed his hand as her mouth expertly got him off. She let go of his hand and wrapped her hands around his cock. "Lex, I need you to talk to me. Tell me that I am doing okay. Anything to get me out of my head," she asked softly. 

"Bliss, I love your mouth on me. You drive me crazy with your tongue. Don't stop. Do you want me to cum in your mouth? I want to cum for you," he panted. "Baby, suck me. Suck it hard, just like that. That's just how I like it."

Teddy got lost in the rhythm and sound of Lex's voice. Her hands and mouth worked feverishly until he exploded into her mouth. She smiled as felt it going down her throat and looked up with a bashful smile. "Bliss, come here. I want to kiss you," Lex whispered. She climbed back onto his lap and kissed him softly. She then wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her body into his, nuzzling his neck. "Do you want to talk about it, Babe? I know something happened." he asked gently. 

She drew in a deep breath, "Chaz used to grab me by the hair and push my mouth down on him when he felt I wasn't participating enthusiastically enough for his satisfaction. According to him, I suck at blowjobs. No pun intended"

"Shit, I triggered you?" Lex frowned, "Why didn't you stop me? You could have stopped Bliss if I frightened you."

Teddy sighed, "because I am not going to let him have that sort of control in my life. I KNOW I am good at blowjobs because you told me that and your body shows it. I wanted to give you a blowjob because listening to you cum is the best feeling. Knowing that you want me and that I please you makes me happy." She looked into his eyes, "BUT you have to listen to me when I talk to you. I know that you were distracted, but I tried communicating with you. I don't want you to beat yourself up, but try to listen better?"

Lex nodded, "Was it the hands in your hair, the tug or all of it combined?"

Teddy shrugged, "All of it combined."

Lex whispered, "It will never happen again. You know I would never hurt Bliss, right?"

Teddy looked down, "Yeah, but my brain remembers when I did get hurt and reacts. Can we talk about it in therapy? I can see if she can squeeze us in tomorrow afternoon. I think it's time I told you everything about Chaz. It will help you understand what happened more."

Lex kissed her cheek, "I'm ready if you are. I love you."

Teddy nuzzled his neck, "Love is not a big enough word for how I feel about you. I do know that you would rather cut off your arm than intentionally hurt me. I am safe with you. I am tired though. Can you cuddle me to sleep?

January 5, 2019

Teddy walked nervously into their therapist's office with Lex close behind. Teddy was dressed casually in a Penguins hoodie and leggings, hair up in a ponytail. Lex was dressed in jeans and gray hoodie. Lex had a grim smile. When they both sat on the couch, Teddy instinctively reached for Lex’s large hand and he offered it freely. In her mid-forties, Caroline sat comfortably in her arm chair and reached for her legal pad to take notes. “So Teddy texted that you’ve had an issue come up that required some immediate assistance. How can I help you?” 

Lex looked at Teddy and shrugged, “You me to start or do you want to start?”

Teddy blinked, “You can start if you want. I would be interested in hearing your perspective.”

Lex chuckled softly, “Just push me into the deep end there, Teddy.” Teddy flinched and he immediately said, “It was a joke, Teddy. Bad joke, but a joke. I guess I am more nervous than I thought.” He rubbed Teddy’s hand softly. 

“Let me start then and you can interject,” Teddy offered. 

“We had a good couple of days after our first session. That night we celebrated my birthday and had a pretty productive conversation about Lex’s return to the ice last night. We agreed that I wouldn’t attend the game so that Lex could focus on the game and not worry about me. He called after the game to let me know that everything went well. He came home, we chatted for a bit and then we started having sex. I was giving him a blowjob, “ Teddy paused as Lex squirmed in his seat. 

Caroline interjected, “Just a reminder that this isn’t a place of judgement, Jamie.” 

Lex blushed and Teddy continued, “I think that we were both enjoying the experience. Lex wrapped his fingers in my hair and pulled back right before I began. It was fine. Then as it continued, his fingers wrapped tight and it felt like my head was jerked back. It was probably more forceful than he intended, but I was triggered by the action.”

Caroline asked, “Triggered in what way? What did you feel at that moment?”

Teddy continued, “Chaz used to pull my hair during sex to ‘punish’ me if he felt I wasn't being enthusiastic enough during it. I felt frightened and scared. I asked Lex to let go and he didn't, which made me begin to panic. I repeated it and then removed his hands from my hair myself. I then continued with the blowjob, but had a ton of negative self talk going on so I asked him to talk to me. He did and I calmed down and finished."

Caroline asked, "Jamie, what were your thoughts?"

"Then or now?" He asked quietly.

"Either- whatever you want to discuss, " she replied calmly.

"At that moment, I was confused. I knew something happened, that she was upset, but didn't know what to do. I tried to ask but she waved me off. I was relieved when she asked me to talk to her because it seemed like she had moved on from whatever I did. Then I got not exactly mad-but something- about her continuing to do it when she had been triggered. We talked about it afterwards which helped, but I still don't understand. She could have stopped me at any time. Why didn't you stop me Bliss?" Lex replied quietly.

Teddy looked at her hands, then to Caroline and finally to Lex, “You’re mad? At me?”

Lex sighed, “Maybe mad isn’t the right word. Frustrated, confused, sad- I feel a lot of things right now.” 

Teddy felt heart begin to race, tears pricking her eyes and her legs began to bounce restlessly. 

Caroline spoke softly, “Teddy, how are you feeling right now?”

Teddy whispered, “Terrified”

Caroline prodded, “Terrified of what?”

Teddy whispered, “That is the beginning of the end. Lex is going to decide that this is not worth it, that I am not worth it and he can find someone better and easier. Someone who isn’t fucking broken. He is going to leave me or want me to leave him.”

Lex interjected, “That’s not fair Bliss. That’s not fair to me. I didn’t come into this relationship blind, you know. I knew that you had issues and struggles, but I am here. I am not leaving. I don’t want to leave and I don’t know how to convince you otherwise.”

Caroline interrupted, “Let’s take a breath. You’re both feeling some pretty big and scary emotions right now. Here is what I am observing. Teddy, you seem to be stuck in a cycle. You have intense feelings of shame and unworthiness. You work very hard to overcome those feelings, but they exist very close to the surface and get triggered easily. When you become triggered, you are very rightly reaching out for help from your partner. He is freely offering the help that he can provide, but you know that he is unaware of EVERYTHING. He doesn’t know the real source of your shame and unworthiness so that lack of knowledge feeds more shame. Your inner dialogue becomes ‘How can Jamie love me if he doesn’t know everything' and gets followed immediately with 'but if I tell him everything he will never love me.’ Is that close?”

Tears flowed from Teddy’s eyes and she wiped them furiously. Lex’s heart ached and he rubbed her thigh softly. Finally Teddy whispered, “Yes, that is close.”

Caroline softly spoke, “What if the opposite is true? Can you find space for the thought that maybe Jamie will love you more once he knows everything? Maybe Jamie having all of the information will help him love you better? Maybe being truly seen by the man that you love and adore can take some of the shame away? Would you be willing to find space for that truth? The shame’s power comes from secrecy and darkness. Let’s bring everything into the light. I think you will be surprised at what happens.”

Teddy whispered, “I am scared.”

Caroline whispered, “I know that you are, but you have been scared before, right? You have survived so much Teddy and are so brave. You can do this. You can be brave and share your truth.”

Lex sighed and wrapped his arms around Teddy, “You can do it Bliss. I know you can. I am not leaving you. I will never leave you. Please, please trust me.” Teddy looked into his eyes and felt the love pouring out of them. 

“Okay, let’s do this. Let’s do this scary shit.” Teddy said firmly. 

Teddy grabbed his hands and stared into his eyes, “I am going to tell you everything, but I have to go quickly. I will answer ANY question that you have. I love you. I trust you. I know that I am safe with you.” She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss, then sat tall and straight. 

“I can’t remember a time in my life where I didn’t feel some form of anxiety and/or negative thought about myself. I have spent countless hours of therapy trying to find the source of those thoughts and I can’t find it. Growing up I never shared these thoughts with anyone- not my parents, not my sister, not anyone. At least, not until later when I started therapy and medication. I was convinced and still am convinced that I was worthless and unlovable. Nothing my parents or sister did could penetrate those thoughts. Frankie did her best to build me up. She was so positive and energetic, but still the thoughts were there. After Frankie died, those thoughts became all consuming. My parents were too caught up in their own grief to see that I was drowning. If I am honest, they wouldn’t have been able to see anything beyond my mask. 

I met Chaz through a friend my freshman year at SMU and he was a senior. On paper he was the perfect man and boyfriend. He spoiled me and made me feel important and beautiful. It wasn’t until later that I realized that he was entirely successful at isolating me from my friends and my parents. He made me totally reliant on him for everything emotionally. I thought he loved me and I loved him. Then the change started to happen. He started pressuring me to have sex. He had fits of jealousy. Suddenly nothing I did was good or right. I gave in and had sex with him because I thought it would fix things. It was horrible. I might as well have been some real life version of a blow-up doll to him. There was very little foreplay and it hurt like hell because there was no lubrication. Afterwards, when I cried getting dressed, he backhanded me across the face and called me a whore. I was in shock. I had never witnessed or experienced a man treat a woman like this so I didn’t know what to do. I just felt this overwhelming feeling that it was all my fault and I couldn’t tell anyone. 

It got progressively worse. Backhanded slaps turned into punches and kicks-always in places that could be concealed by clothing. The sexual demands became constant, but the worst part was the words. I was nothing. Nobody loved me. Nobody would ever love me. The wrong sister died. In public, he was the perfect boyfriend-so sweet and kind, then he would terrorize me in private. It went on for two years. I know, I let it go on for two years which I feel a huge amount of shame about. It would have continued, but he slipped one night. And of course he slipped in front of the one person who said something- Bish. He was in town for a game. My parents invited him over for dinner. Chaz misinterpreted Bish's friendliness for flirtation which sent him into a rage. He twisted my arm behind my back and Bish saw it. He confronted Chaz who immediately backed down like the weak ass bitch he was. That night was really bad. I actually thought he might kill me and part of me wished he would."

Lex audibly gasped and squeezed her hands

"Bish came to my apartment the next day and told me that if I didn’t tell my parents, he would. He drove me to their house and sat with me while I told them. I never felt more shame or guilt. My parents were so disappointed. I know now that the disappointment was with themselves, but I get an ache in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about it. My father's security team took Chaz’s stuff back to him with the message to stay away and not contact me again. He lost his mind when he realized he was no longer in control of me. My parents got me into therapy. We attempted to get a protective order but only had documentation from that one night. Still we got it, at least a temporary one. Everything was okay until two months later when we were at the same party. He refused to leave despite the protective order and taunted me. He made everyone believe I was the crazy one stalking him after he dumped me. I made the mistake of laughing before I left at the absurdity of his claims. Two hours later he broke through my apartment front door and assaulted me. I can't describe it in any detail because my mind has buried it and I don’t want to unbury those memories. I can tell that I had broken ribs, severe abdominal bruising, black eyes and vaginal/anal tearing. He was arrested, but as is the case with most sexual assaults never saw jail time. I am pretty sure my father paid him to move out of state. I haven't seen him since. So there you go, there is the story of Chaz and how he fucked Teddy up. He does send me random messages about twice a year. I forward them to my dad’s security team and they track the info. There- that’s everything I can think of.” Lex sat with his jaw tense. He looked from Teddy to Caroline and back again. Teddy stared at him and spoke softly, “I know it’s a lot to take in. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to hear it all.” 

The room was then silent except for the ticking of the clock. Lex leaned his head back on the back of the couch. He rubbed his palms on his thighs before balling his hands into fists and punching his legs hard. “FUCK” he exclaimed, “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK” Teddy’s eyes widened and she shrunk back slightly. “Bliss, I had no idea. I thought I had an idea, but this, this…..” his voice started soft and finally broke into a choked sob. Tears flowed from his eyes, “Oh God, this is bad, so bad” He sat up and rested his forearms on his knees, “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say.” Teddy scooted towards him and rubbed his back. He looked over at her with a twisted face, “Bliss, how do you do this? I don't think I can do this.” She pulled him toward her so that his head rested in her lap. He grabbed a hold of her legs and sobbed into her leggings.

Teddy looked at Caroline with a panicked look. Caroline held up hand and whispered, “Give him a minute” Teddy rubbed his head and back as the sobs racked his body. After a few minutes, he sat up and wiped his eyes. He took Teddy’s hands into his and squeezed them. He looked up at Caroline. She spoke softly, “Do you have anything you want to say? Do you have any questions?” 

“I have so many questions. I don't know what to say.  I just know that my heart aches. What am I supposed to say? “ he sputtered, "What do you say to that nightmare?

Caroline responded, "I think it may be good for you and I to meet individually to process through what you are feeling. After that, we can come back together. Are you open to that, Jamie?"

Lex's eyes shot up, "Yes, I will do anything you recommend. Whatever it takes to work through this for her. I will do anything for her."

He looked at Teddy who held her breath, “Bliss, oh Bliss- you thought I would love you less? You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong, Bliss. You have nothing to be ashamed of- nothing. You’re a goddamn miracle.” He put his hands on her cheeks, “Caroline was right. I love you so much. I have so many thoughts racing in my head- so many- but one thing is clear-I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I am so lucky you survived. Thank God, you survived.”

Teddy sighed, “Do you still need me to tell you why I kept going last night?”

Lex nodded, “Tell me again.”

Teddy gulped, “Because I have worked too hard to be able to let you touch me and make love to me to let the memory of Chaz take that away from me. Wait, that’s not right. It hasn’t been work at all. It has always been easy to let you touch me and make love to me. I have known from the moment we met that I am safe with you. I can trust you. I am not going to let him take that away from me. I am not going to let him destroy us and what we have. I just won’t do it. Does that make sense?” 

Lex nodded, “You didn’t feel pressure from me to continue? Is that what you are saying?” 

Teddy said emphatically, “You have never pressured me to do anything I don’t want to do- EVER. I make love to you because I want to and you drive me crazy with desire.”

Caroline cleared her throat, “I think that we have made some good progress today. Do you each feel like we are a good stopping point? I think we clearly have a lot of work to do together to unpack what was shared and how to manage going forward. Jamie- do you want to come back tomorrow?"

Teddy deferred to Lex who spoke up, “I will make tomorrow work.”

Everyone stood up and walked to the door. “Teddy- that was amazingly brave work today,” Caroline said softly, “I hope that you feel lighter. Practice some self-care and I will see you soon.” 

Lex and Teddy walked out to the truck slowly. He opened her door and waited for her to step into the truck. When she got settled, he stepped closer and kissed her temple, "I am not leaving you. It's you and me forever- no matter what, whatever it takes. If we have to do therapy every day, then we do therapy every day."

She turned to him, "I trust you, Lex. I know I am safe with you. It's you and me forever-no matter what, whatever it takes. "

"Let's go get drunk," he whispered, "Pizza and dance party. We can get naked."

"I am assuming at home?" She laughed, "I don't want other women looking at my man. All rights are reserved." Lex laughed and got in the truck.

Three hours later and two cocktails later, the pizzas arrived at the apartment. They had already stripped down to their underwear. Teddy giggled as Lex brought in the pizzas and placed them on the counter. He playfully swatted her hand as she tried to grab a slice from the box, "Wait your turn. I am a growing man. I need to eat A LOT," he jested. He pulled plates down from the cabinet and placed several pieces on his plate. Then he placed two pieces on her plate and handed it to her with a kiss. "Here you go my darling Bliss," he soothed, "Do you need another drink? Getting tipsy yet? Is Tipsy Teddy here? I think I am buzzing already."

"Yes, I want another drink," Teddy took her plate, "I am not tipsy yet." She watched him sit on the stool after handing her drink to her and then she stood between his legs. They ate their pizza and kissed between bites. "You know, I have friends that tell me that one day I won't want to kiss you all the time. Can you believe that?" She asked in between bites. "You are the most handsome man I have ever seen," she kissed his cheeks. 

Lex laughed, "Well hello there Tipsy Teddy!"

She stomped her foot, "I am not tipsy. It's the truth. Your lips are so kissable. They are full and juicy. Like little magnets for my lips." She kissed him softly and he returned her kiss. He brought his hands to her face and rubbed her temples with his thumbs. He gave her a smile and wrapped his arms around her waist before standing up. He carried her into the living room as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Hey, I want my drink, Lex," she whined.

He shook his head, "Dance with me." He shouted out a song request to Alexa and waited for the song to start.  https://open.spotify.com/track/3ogtSrlbtiTamktbA0hw0E?si=R_ZWxq2ISI6sxNxkZN0BxQ&utm_source=copy-link

Lex sang in her ear

105 is the number that comes to my head

When I think of all the years I wanna be with you

Wake up every morning with you in my bed

That's precisely what I plan to do

And you know one of these days, when I get my money right

Buy you everything and show you all the finer things in life

Will forever be enough, so there ain't no need to rush

But one day, I won't be able to ask you loud enough

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

I swear that I will mean it

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

He twirled her around the room 

How many girls in the world can make me feel like this?

Baby, I don't ever plan to find out

The more I look, the more I find the reasons why

You're the love of my life

Teddy laughed as he dipped her low

And if I lost everything

In my heart, it means nothing

'Cause I have you

Girl, I have you

To get right down on bended knee

Nothing else would ever be better, better

The day when I-

I'll say, "Will you marry me?"

I swear that I will mean it

I'll say, "Will you marry me?", yeah

He carried her into the bedroom and gently placed her on the bed, "Bliss, can we get naked now?" She threw her head back and giggled, "I thought you would never ask"

He bent down and kissed her neck and then licked along her jawline, "You are gorgeous, Bliss." She smiled and turned her head to give him more access. His hands roamed her body gently. Fingers trailing over her stomach and her hips. He traced small circles on her thigh, "Is this okay?" 

Teddy whispered, "Yes" as she rocked her hips against his hard thigh. 

Lex pulled her left breast out of her bra and licked her nipple, "and this?" 

Again she whispered, "Yes." 

He moved his palm against her panties and rubbed slowly. "What about this?"

Teddy moaned softly, "Lex, you know what I like. Nothing that I said today changes that. You don't have to ask about every single thing. You have all the very fucking enthusiastic consent."

He kissed along her collarbone then returned to her mouth, "I just want to make love to you and make you feel safe." 

She took his face between her hands, "Then make love to me, but I can’t talk right now. I am all talked out. I just want to give you pleasure and have you give me pleasure until we don't have anything else to give. Please? Talk all you want. I just can't, I just can’t. Sorry." 

Lex nodded solemnly as he slipped his hands into her panties, finding her clit and rubbing slowly as he kissed her softly. Teddy spread her legs and moaned softly, "Ohhhhhhhhh"  He smiled and started tugging at her panties. She lifted her hips and ran her fingers through his hair as removed her panties. His fingers returned to their previous position, "I love you Theodora Bliss every inch of you, every part of you." 

Teddy whimpered softly, feeling her chest tighten with unspoken emotion. His fingers worked their magic until she was moaning loudly in his ear. "That's it, Bliss. Ride that wave. I got you," he whispered into her ear. She pulled him tighter to her and bucked her hips. "So beautiful. You are so beautiful when you fuck my fingers. I need to be inside of you. Can I fuck you with my cock?" He cajoled. 

She nodded and moaned, "Please." 

He slipped into her and began a slow fuck. With each thrust, he whispered something into her ear. Each stroke was deep and hard. The sound of Lex's voice washed over her soul, "You are my Babe. You are my best friend. You are the strongest person I've ever known. You are the sweetest person and you love me big. You deserve to be protected. You deserve everything. You make me happy every damn day. You are amazing. You have no idea how much I love you. I am going to love you forever. I will never leave you. You are the most precious thing in my life. I love you. I love you. I love you." Tears streamed down her cheeks and she struggled to even moan. His words became more impassioned with each statement as they reached their climax. "I will do whatever it takes to be with you. You are worth it. You are so good Bliss. I love you more than anything. Thank you Babe-thank you for loving me." They both held each other and sobbed with a combination of emotional pain, relief and residual pain. 

Teddy held him close as he cried softly, “Lex, are you crying because you are worried about me? What’s going on?” 

Lex inhaled deeply, “I am sad and heartbroken. The thought of you going through all of that breaks my heart. I want to change it for you. I want to take it all away.”

Teddy gently rubbed his back, “But if you took it all away, would we have met? I am not saying that I am glad it happened or some other shitty cliche, but I get to be with you now. If that was the journey I had to take to get to you, then I accept that. You’re my rainbow after the storm- my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I am sorry that you are sad and heartbroken. It will get better- I promise. You should talk to Bish or my dad. They can help you since they were there.” 

Lex rolled off of Teddy and onto his side, resting his head on his hand. He pushed the hair out of her eyes and wiped her tears,  “Does Seggy know?”

Teddy shook her head no vigorously, “He knows less than you knew the first night we talked. I plan to keep it that way. He doesn’t need to know and I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want anyone else to know.” She began to panic a little, “You can’t tell your parents, Lex. Please don’t tell your parents- at least not all of it. Please? I can’t bear it if they look at me with pity in their eyes. Please promise me that you won’t tell them. 

He placed a hand on her cheek, “Shhhhh, I won’t tell them anything beyond what they already know. I told them before that you had an abusive ex. That’s all they need to know.” 

She snuggled into his chest, “Sorry for the bit of panic. I am just really tired. You must be exhausted.” Teddy fell asleep within minutes, but Lex’s sleep was made up mostly of nightmares images of Teddy and Chaz.

January 6th

The following afternoon Lex walked into Caroline’s office alone and sat down nervously. He instinctively looked to his right where Teddy normally sat and reached for non-existent hand. He shook his head and laughed.

"What's funny, Jamie?" She asked.

"I just realized how much Bliss comforts me when we come in here. I sat down and reached for her hand- like she is some sort of security blanket," he said. 

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Not sure to be honest. It’s a mixed bag of emotions,” he commented. 

“Tell me about the emotions,” she coaxed. 

“Teddy and I had a great night together . We got tipsy, had pizza and a dance party. Then we had this really intense and emotional sex," he answered before grimacing. "Is it bad that we had sex? I mean I just found that Teddy had been raped hours before. What does that say about me?" He questioned.

Caroline responded, "You have to understand that while it was hours after you learned the details of the assault, or at least some of the details, you have known about how there was a sexual assault for a while now, correct? It wasn’t brand new information. Also, Teddy has lived with that knowledge and sharing it must have been so relieving for her. I assume that it was consensual, correct? Then it says that you find your partner attractive and the feeling is mutual. Both of you had an emotionally exhausting day. It is not unexpected that you would seek physical comfort from each other.  How was the experience?" 

Lex's eyes shot up, "What do you mean?"

"Was it a typical experience or was it different than normal? She asked. 

"Typically I don't cry afterwards," he said softly, “Typically Teddy is more vocal, but she told me that she was all talked out.”

"Why do you think you were so emotional?" She countered

"I just love her so much and want to keep her safe. I can't bear the thought of her in pain. I need to protect her from pain" he explained.

"Jamie, it's not your job to protect her. This isn’t the NHL where you are expected to protect certain players. She is not a damsel in distress. She does an excellent job of protecting herself, don't you think?" She asked. 

"She needed to be protected from Chaz," he shot back.

"Yes, but you can't retroactively protect her from Chaz, can you?" She inquired.

"So if it's not my job to protect her, what is my job? What does she need from me?" He asked, confused.

"I think that is a question for Teddy to answer. My guess is that she would say that it is your job to remind her that she is safe and loved- not because she will never experience pain again, but because she will never experience pain ALONE. Pain is inevitable. You both will experience it. She might say that your job is to remind her that she is strong and capable when her anxiety is triggered."

Lex's face lit up, "So basically the way she loves me. That is exactly how she loves me. I can do that. I can fucking do that. Sorry for cussing."

Caroline laughed, "It's okay. Remember judgement free zone."

They ended the session with the agreement that they reconvene in a week as a group. 

Back at their apartment, Teddy picked up her phone multiple times to check the time. Lex's therapy session ended five minutes ago. She checked her texts but there wasn't anything from Lex. She did see a text from Tyler so she hit the call button.

Tyler screamed- TEDDY!

Teddy whispered- Hey

Tyler questioned- What's wrong? 

Teddy sighed- Trying not to freak the fuck out 

Tyler asked- Freak out about what?

Teddy explained- I told Lex the whole truth about Chaz yesterday in therapy. My anxiety is telling me that he is plotting his escape from my fucked up ass.

Tyler asked- What did he say when heard everything?

Teddy answered- He said it wasn't my fault, he loves me and he is never going to leave me.

Tyler questioned- Then why are freaking out?

Teddy laughed- Have you met me? Anxiety girl?

Tyler spoke softly- Maybe you should believe him and not your anxiety.

Teddy responded- You're smart 

Tyler joked- Can I get that in writing? 

Tyler got quiet for a moment 

Tyler whispered- Are you ever going to tell me? Everything?

Teddy exclaimed- Hell no

Tyler pleaded- But I'm your best friend.

Teddy continued - If I thought you needed to know, I would tell you. I just don't see the point in subjecting you to the details. It would only break your heart. I had an ex, he abused me physically, verbally and emotionally. It broke my spirit, but I have worked my ass off to repair it. There you have the story.

Tyler sighed- Wish I could hug you right now

Teddy smiled- Same- I appreciate that you want to know and understand my past. I love you for it.

Teddy heard Lex's key in the door and said a quick goodbye to Tyler. Lex stepped inside and placed his keys on the kitchen island. Teddy approached from the living room hesitantly, "So how did it go?" 

Lex kissed her forehead, "Really well. I feel a lot less confused. Were you worried?” He stepped forward and took her in his arms, “I have insight into how I can help you and love you better. I am not going anywhere. Remember me and you forever- no matter what, whatever it takes." He squeezed her tighter. 

She kissed his chest, "Thanks for the reminder. Love you Lexaroni." 

January 23rd

Lex stepped off the plane and walked down the stairs, feeling the Caribbean breeze hitting his face. He looked back and smiled at Teddy who was walking down the stairs. Teddy had changed from her winter Pittsburgh clothes to a summer sundress during the flight. She kissed him as she stepped onto the bottom step. He wrapped his arms around her and carried her to the waiting car. The villa staff unloaded the luggage into the car trunk as Teddy settled into the back seat of the car. Lex slid in next to her and took her hand into his, "Bliss, I think that this may be the best idea you ever had. After the past couple of weeks, we need to day drink and lay in the sun " 

Teddy rested her head on his shoulder, “I have my moments, Lex. It has been a rough month if you think about it- with the concussion, Christmas, therapy, full disclosure and the aftermath. I want nothing more than to spend time with you doing nothing productive.”

Lex kissed the top of her head, “Orgasms can be productive, Bliss. So can dance parties and skinny dipping.”

Teddy looked up and stared into his eyes, “I see you have a whole agenda planned.” 

When they arrived at the Villa, Taylor and Johnsy were already there sitting by the pool. Teddy ran to give both of them hugs, “Oh I have missed you guys! Did they get you settled into your room? Do you have everything that you need?” 

Lex smiled as Teddy went into hostess mode effortlessly. Johnsy, “Yeah, they put us up on the third floor. I think that you two are down on this level. Thank God.” Taylor raised an eyebrow and poked him in the side. “What? You didn’t share an apartment with Big Rig. Even when they were ‘friends’, they fucked like bunnies. They fucked like very loud bunnies. It was traumatizing. I can’t imagine what it is like now. Have you slowed down now that you are official?”

Teddy smiled, “Slowed down? Ummmm no. Gotten quieter or more discreet? Again, no. Am I ashamed? Also no. Will fuck Lex right below your balcony if you don’t shut up? Yes, I will.” 

Taylor fell onto the chaise lounge in fits of laughter, followed by Johnsy. “Big Rig, get your woman under control.”

“Oh, you are under some illusion that I can control Teddy? Uh no. Teddy does what she wants, when she wants. I am just along for the ride. It’s a very fun ride, but I am definitely not driving the proverbial bus here,” Lex laughed and took Teddy’s hand. “Now don’t mind us, we are going to go get changed and stuff."

Teddy yelled back over shoulder, "You know what ‘and stuff’ means". Lex brought her to the room that they used in May and she shook her head no. "We are in the big room where Benn and Katie were last year," she laughed. He tilted his head and looked at her funny. “Last year I was literally the only person without a partner at the beginning of the trip so I gave myself a smaller room. You showed up,but I didn’t change rooms. It was Katie’s birthday. I wasn’t going to kick her out of the best room. Now however, we are going to take advantage of the private balcony and plunge pool this year. It’s perfect for skinny dipping” 

Lex followed her into the room and walked out on the balcony, turned and smiled. “This is amazing. I thought last year was amazing, but this tops it.” He walked back into the room as she started unpacking her clothes into the closet and dresser. He stopped and stared, “You are the only person I know that actually unpacks their clothes on vacation. I just leave my stuff in the suitcase.” 

Teddy shook head and continued to unpack. “I unpack so I have easy access to the multiple bikinis and lingerie sets that I packed. I mean if you want me to just wear the plain jane panties on the top of my suitcase, I can.” 

“Wait, you didn’t have lingerie last time. I want to see the lingerie. You don’t even wear lingerie at home,” he started poking through the suitcase. 

She playfully swatted at his hand, “No peeking. You know why I didn’t have lingerie last time. Who was I going to show it to? Now as far home is concerned, I will gladly wear lingerie if you would like, but you seem to be perfectly content with tearing off the plain stuff. Now, get in your swimsuit so we can go into the pool.” 

“But what about the ‘and stuff’? I was looking forward to the ‘and stuff’’ he pouted. 

“We can take a nap after pool time and lunch time,” she said as she pulled out a tiny bikini. She undressed quickly and put it on. The hot pink bikini top barely contained her full breasts. The ruffles on the side of the bottoms accentuated her hips. She pulled out a straw hat and put it on. She turned to face Lex who stopped still as he put on his swimsuit. “What?” she asked and adjusted her bottoms, “Lex, tell me. What?”

He blinked and stammered, “That’s new. Holy fuck, you look amazing. Seriously Bliss, you have never looked more beautiful or sexier. I can’t wait to tear that off later. Is there more like that? Do I get more of that?” 

She smiled and walked away, “Yes, there is a lot more of this and other sexy things for you. Now let’s go swim.” 

Teddy and Lex settled into a routine at the St. Thomas villa. Morning sex on the balcony over looking the bay, breakfast, followed by beach/pool time. After a gourmet lunch, they napped then had pre-dinner cuddles/sex. Dinner was followed by walks on the beach and sex before bed. Teddy kept her word and had a new sexy bikini and lingerie set for each day. By the time Sunday morning rolled around, they were sun-kissed and well-fucked. They said their good-byes to Taylor and Johnsy at the airport and spent the flight wrapped up in each other’s arms. 

Monday, January 28th

Teddy puttered around the apartment. She had finished the laundry from their trip. She sat down on the couch to start planning content for the next couple of weeks. Her phone rang and Lex’s face popped up. She looked at the time and thought to herself, “He should be on the ice right now.” 

Teddy- Hey Lex, What’s up? Why aren’t you on the ice?

Lex spoke softly- Are you sitting down? 

Teddy- Lex, what’s wrong?

Lex sighed- So don’t freak out yet. 

Teddy asked- What’s wrong Lex?

Lex whispered- I’ve been traded. 

Teddy asked disbelief- Traded where?

Lex stated flatly- You are not going to believe it. 

Teddy asked again- Traded where?

Lex spoke again- Dallas

Teddy stared at her phone- Dallas? You’re going back to Dallas?

Lex smiled- WE- We are going back to Dallas, Bliss. You’re going home. 

Teddy- I can’t believe it. What are the odds? Are you happy?

Lex- I’m happy if you are happy. I have some unfinished business there. 

Teddy- I can’t believe it. We’re going back to Dallas. 

Lex- Call your parents and Tyler. I am coming home with the details. We leave this afternoon. Start packing. 

Teddy stared and looked around the apartment. She was struck by the bitter sweetness of the moment. This had been their first home together and it was time to move on. Pittsburgh would always be special, but she looked forward to going home. She looked forward to their future.

Next Chapter- Back to Big D - https://starshine-hockey-girl.tumblr.com/post/671206259212566528/back-to-big-d

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | ONE

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 2,725

warnings: thoughts of suicide! unsuccessful attempt! depression, grief, angst

18+!!! minors stay away! TRIGGER WARNING.

Nothing made sense anymore. The world was upside down, all messed up, and you were hanging by a thread. How could it have been a year since the incident? How could you be okay with being older than her now?

Grief is something that nobody expects to be easy, but you never expected it to be quite so hard. Every day people promised that tomorrow would be better, but it never was. It never got better. It never got easier. You were fairly sure it never would, because if it still hurt this bad after thirteen months, twenty-two days, and six hours, how could one more hour, day, month, or year bring any sort of respite?

It couldn't. It wouldn't. Sometimes you wondered if this was your punishment. Maybe you felt this way because you deserved to, because you had earned a life time of suffering when you let her die. Sure, big sisters are supposed to look out for little sisters, but at the cost of their life? That couldn't go unpunished.

Every day was the same since she died. Wake up, wish you hadn't, feel everything and nothing all at once, and go to sleep. It was a strange and horrible existence; people weren't meant to feel so many big things at the same time. The guilt, the shame, the anguish, the longing... it consumed every part of you like a black hole until you were left with nothing. Until you felt nothing, thought nothing, you were nothing.

They were all the same until today. It was your birthday, your eighteenth birthday to be exact, and for once that ever present black hole in your chest was gone. Instead of waking up to the constant weight of all those heavy emotions on your shoulders, you woke up with the familiar numb emptiness you felt at the end of every day.

There weren't words to describe how much that terrified you. Every single day since your sister died, you'd wished endlessly for those painful feelings to go away. You'd begged for relief, for peace, and you'd taken solace in the hollow of the evenings. Waking up already vacant and listless did not bring the comfort you dreamed of.

You were officially older than her. You'd finally reached that first milestone she'd never reach, and the thought of it punched a hole in your chest so large you wondered if there was anything left of you at all. It wasn't fair--how could you celebrate the big ticket birthday she'd yearned for so anxiously? You couldn't.

You didn't deserve to celebrate. You didn't deserve to achieve all those goals she never had the chance to. You didn't deserve to live through all the years, experiences, moments that she never would. You didn't deserve to live.

It was all your fault, after all. It was your fault that she was there that day, it was your fault she lingered behind, and it was your fault she died. If you'd just gone shopping like she'd asked instead of insisting on going to the park, she'd still be here. If you hadn't frozen like an idiot, she'd still be here.

With a mind swimming with all the reasons everything would be better if you just weren't around anymore, you snuck out of your bedroom window. It was finally dark outside; you'd managed to make it through the day for your parents. But, with the day over, you couldn't hold on any longer.

The letter you'd written for your parents to find was tucked under your pillow, and with one final glance around the bedroom you used to share with your sister, you made peace with your life. This was for the best. Everyone would be so much better off if it had been you instead of her, and now you were going to make things right. It wouldn't bring her back, but at least you wouldn't be there as a reminder of what should have been.

As ready as you were, you didn't really have a plan. There were a million possibilities as far as how you could execute your desires, but none of them seemed right. It had to be fast, though, and something that didn't require much work. If it took effort, conscious thought and execution, you wouldn't follow through. You'd learned that the last time.

That was how you ended up on the roof of one of the more swanky apartment complexes. It was a tall building, taller than those surrounding it, and a fall from that height would surely do the trick. Strangely, the moment your feet dangled over the ledge with your bottom firmly planted in place, your mind went blank.

All those thoughts of the stress and pain you caused went silent, and you finally could breathe. With a deep exhale, your body relaxed for the first time since the incident; you didn't feel any of the bad things anymore. There was no pain, no grief, no sadness, nor were there any of those empty or numb feelings. You just felt peace.

The peace was short lived as you looked down to the street far below, though. This was it, this was the end, and suddenly your mind was racing with all the what if's. What if it could get better? What if it didn't work? What if this made everything worse? What if this was a mistake?

What if, what if, what if, "Whatever, just shut up." you gasped, clutching your head in your hands to keep it from spinning. "Get it together, (Y/N), this is the right thing to do."

Pulling out the letter you'd written to your sister, you opened it and cried for the first time in months. You'd long ago stopped crying; despite how many horrible things you'd been feeling, the tears just never came. But reading the words you'd written to her, thinking of her as you came to terms with your decision to join her, it was as if a metaphorical flood gate opened.

Thirteen months, twenty-two days, and seven hours. You couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't do it, do anything, anymore; you just needed to rest. The clock was running out, and your time was up.

"You can do this." you whispered, "For once in your life, do something right."

With shaky hands and weak knees, you scrambled up onto your feet and stood atop the ledge. You weren't that tall, but somehow the new perspective made the drop look so much longer and your stomach heaved with fright. Sobbing, you stumbled back to your knees and threw up the little bit of cake you'd forced yourself to eat earlier that evening.

You wiped the sick from your mouth and stood up again, this time with panting gasps for air and knees that shook so violently you feared you might fall before you were ready to. Maybe that would have been for the best, though, because the longer you looked down the more doubts you had. No one would ever know it was an accident if that were the case.

A sudden noise behind you startled you, and your heart seized in your chest as your knees gave out and you tipped dangerously over the edge. You didn't fall, though, because a sticky substance latched around your arm and dragged you back over until you were laying on the roof. For a moment you just laid there, staring up at the empty sky where the stars were all drowned out by the city lights, and you tried hard to figure out what had just happened.

"Are you okay? Oh--oh my god, are you hurt? What were you thinking? Shit, oh shit, Karen, what do I do?" A masked head leaned over your face, blocking the starless sky from your view, and all the feelings came flooding back like a tsunami. "Um, can you hear me?"

One feeling stood out against the current, and your body tensed as you were overcome with seething, white hot rage. An anger like you'd never felt before; you were furious. How dare he stop you? How dare he ruin everything?

It was Spiderman, the friendly neighborhood hero who'd been gallivanting around Queens for some time now, and that made you even angrier. Spiderman was one of them, one of the ridiculous superheroes who'd killed your sister without a single care in the world. He was one of them, and he'd just stopped you from finally fixing everything they had ruined.

You stood so fast you nearly threw up again, but you swallowed the bile down and hissed, "You should have let me fall. I wanted to fall."

Spiderman pulled you back with a firm grip on the web that was still wrapped around your arm, stopping you in your tracks as you stomped back toward the ledge. "Hey, stop! I'm not going to let you do this." he shouted, but his voice was more nervous than commanding.

"Get out of here, Spiderman. You're not saving the day by stopping me, okay?" you snapped fiercely. No matter how hard you pulled against the webbing holding you back, you couldn't break free. It didn't budge when you pulled at it, clawed at it, or even pried it. "What the hell is this shit?"

He pulled you in further, and you stumbled over your feet as you tried to keep your distance. "I'm not going to let you do this. You don't need to do this." he repeated, this time more firmly.

For a moment you were silent, studying the masked hero as he stared back at you with a hidden face. "You don't even know me. Why do you care?" you tried again, but your voice was softer, more fragile. The numbness was creeping back in again and you knew that you wouldn't be able to follow through anymore, even if he let you go.

"I do know you, (Y/N), and you don't need to do this. We can--I can help you. Let me help you."

Your eyebrows furrowed as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously. How the hell did he know your name? Did you know him? Even though your mind was running wild with unanswered questions, you seethed, "You can't help me. Unless you can go back in time and kill me instead of my sister, you can't fucking help me."

The eyes of his mask widened at your shout, and he stammered, "I--no, I can't do that, but I can help you. I can be your friend, you... you can talk to me. I know what it's like to lose someone, (Y/N)."

You scoffed, "Do you know what it's like to watch a family member die right in front of you? Do you know what it's like to see someone get killed, and it's all your fault? You can't help me!"

"I do, actually." he stated.

Your entire body slumped at the revelation, the anger leaving you as the numbness finally took over completely. It was silent for a few long moments as you cried noiselessly, the only sounds being those of your still frantic breathing and the bustling traffic far below. "If you know, then you know why I have to do it." you whimpered.

Spiderman dropped the web keeping you in place as you collapsed onto your butt, your legs too weak to support you anymore from exhaustion. "I know why you think you have to, but I also know why you're wrong. This isn't the answer." he responded, tentatively taking a few steps closer to you.

You didn't respond, looking up at him as you wiped your cheeks and nose weakly, and he took the chance to continue, "I'm going to make you a deal. I'm going to take my mask off and show you who I am. If you still want to do it after, fine, but at least you'll know who will be blaming themselves afterwards."

True to his word, his fingers creeped under the edge of his mask as he stared you down intensely. Your breath faltered as you watched, completely still as you realized he was serious. Spiderman was going to reveal his identity to you, and you knew that once he did it was game over. As much as you felt the world would be better off without you, you couldn't bare the thought of leaving someone behind to feel the way that you did.

So, stubbornly, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and refused to look. "I'll wait here all night if I have to. Besides, I could just say my name, you know. I'm pretty sure you know me too."

"Don't." you pleaded.

"Open your eyes, (Y/N). You want this, right? Knowing who I am shouldn't change anything, then." he urged, his tone soft despite his harsh words. "It's Peter. Peter Parker. I've sat behind you in at least two classes since freshman year, and I've lent you pencils before. You always give them back, and you always let Flash copy your homework even though he's a total dick to you. You--"

Your eyes snapped open as you cut him off, "Stop! Just because you know things about me doesn't mean you know me."

It really was Peter Parker, and the numbness faded a little to make room for anxiety and guilt. You knew Peter had lost too much in his life; his parents and his uncle, too. Could you add your name to that list? Could you jump when you knew he'd blame himself for the rest of his life?

You couldn't. You wouldn't. Peter's brown eyes were filled with worry and sadness as he studied you, his mask clutched tightly in his fist. When you remained silent, he sat down and spoke quietly, "I know enough to know the world would suck without you. I could be your friend, you know, you don't have to do this alone."

"I don't need friends." you huffed.

Peter frowned briefly, before rubbing his nose and hiding it again. "I did just tell you my biggest secret, (Y/N), so I think we kind of have to be friends now." he finally rebutted, a faint twinge of humor in his voice, "You might not want friends, but you do need one. I'll be your friend."

You stared back at Peter blankly, uncaring as he shifted uncomfortably in your silence. Why did he want to be your friend? He already got what he wanted. You weren't going to go through with your plan, and he wouldn't have to live with guilt like you did every day. So, why was he still here?

Part of you wanted to believe he really cared, because he seemed to pay a lot of attention to you to notice the little things you did, but you knew better. He didn't really care about you. He only cared that you knew his secret and now you had leverage over him. You could out him if you wanted to, and that meant he had to keep tabs on you.

"I don't need friends." you repeated stiffly, "Don't worry, Parker. Your secret is safe with me."

His eyes widened as he stammered, "That's not--"

"Save it, Peter. Can you please just get this shit off of me so I can go home? I want to go to bed." you cut him off with a deep sigh, gesturing to the web that was still hanging from your arm.

He looked like he wanted to argue, to further plead his case, but after a few moments he visibly wilted and gave in. "It'll dissolve in two hours. I'll... I'll see you at school, (Y/N)."

It was a statement, but it sounded more like a question. You knew he was still hesitant to let you out of his sight, fearful that you'd go back on your word and follow through, and this was his way of confirming you wouldn't do just that. Achingly stretching up off the ground, you muttered, "Yeah. Bye, Peter."

Peter tugged his mask back over his head, but didn't make any move to leave until you were opening the door that lead back into the building. As you stepped through the threshold he gave a forlorn wave, before jumping over the ledge and swinging away. The door shut behind you as the weight of the world settled on your shoulders once again. You'd failed, like always.

[choicesenthusiast]

Laws of Attraction, Ch. 8 AKA Team Outside the Building

What happened this week:

The team heads off to a retreat for some team building, as a prelude to the very prestigious law conference for the weekend. Seeing as how this book is canonically set in late October (Lydia and Joey’s marriage certificate said the 23rd, and Sadie said the conference is this weekend), Sadie and Gabe have chosen chilly New York violence. That night, grab a moment with your LI before the ever-boisterous Beau interrupts.

Speaking of Beau, at the conference, you’re given the chance to either forgive him for his stunt last week, put him on thin ice, or not forgive him at all. It takes a “kettle, meet pot” situation for him to apologize, and you can help him out for networking points or not. Professional schmoozing impresses everyone.

Surprisingly, PB sets us up with Lina AKA discount F!Robin Flores for another hookup. Is this their way of telling everyone that Robin will not be an LI in TNA2? I guess we’ll have to find out.

The murder case we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived, and we’re defending the prime suspect. This is the big leagues. Celebrity murder cases do not go unnoticed. Luckily, the firm has one of the most brilliant yeehaws to ever enter their swanky New York office. Too bad we’ll have to wait a bit, because this book is taking a short break.

Thoughts:

It has come to my attention that I, in fact, did not complete last week’s chapter review. I only remembered about it because I remembered that the book is taking a mini halfway-hiatus. So here we are. That means this is one of the longest times we’ve gone contentless in a while. From last Wednesday until this Friday, when TNA2 premieres, it’ll have been ten days of a release schedule drier than the personalities of some of PB’s LIs.

I am loving how both LI routes progress at different speeds. Obviously the barriers between Aislinn and MC vs Gabe and MC are different. I think one of the many flaws of PB’s past books *cough Open Heart cough* is their need to advance the romances at the same rate, even though it would be different for each character depending on the relationship. This book does a good job of doing the opposite, and letting each relationship take its natural pace.

For everyone complaining about the slow burn, I think it’s being executed really well. TNA failed at this in the sense that Sam and MC were already down to get naked by Chapter 1 but were cockblocked every time since, but once they eventually fucked then all the allure of the slow burn was lost. They just started fucking anywhere and everywhere. And that was only halfway through the book, so the second half was practically pwp. With Gabe, there is obvious attraction but still a regard for boundaries, which some other boss LIs heavily lack, so the tension builds much stronger.

This group is actually so enjoyable! Very strong personalities that aren’t entirely insufferable (yet).

So far it’s a very good book. Don’t wanna get my expectations up too much, but the bar has been raised from the depths of hell to perhaps Choices purgatory.

[quarantined-with-bucky]

Shopping

Bodyguard!Bucky x Reader

Request: Hi! May I ask for a hc or scenario in wich Bucky falls for the reader who has a "spoiled brat" stereotype...u know? Like a Regina George from Mean Girls type of attitude, Maybe the reader is the daughter of someone important who Bucky needs to protect idk I thought it could be quite fun, anyway...loved your writing so much in "Dichotomy" ❤

Words: ~ 4,500

Summary: Bucky’s paid to be your bodyguard and you’re, well, kind of a bitch.

Warnings: None! For once ;)

...

There is three things men want in life.

1.     They want to see if they can fuck you.

2.     They want to see if they can fuck you over.

3.     They want to get you out the fucking picture.

That was simply a fact of life. It was especially accurate in the world you grew up in: the world of powerful men, fast cars, vast mansions, and extravagant wardrobes. There was something about everyone’s cut-throat attitude that also seemed to drag along these luxuries. It was all about showing off: who had the most expensive car, whose house was bigger – whose wife was hotter.

This is the climate you grew up in: constant competition, envious friends, malicious enemies. There was a certain image you were expected to maintain, so you did exactly that. Not only did you have the weight of one day taking over your father’s company on your shoulders, you had the paparazzi stalking your every move. There wasn’t a single moment of peace in your life. You couldn’t go to the mall or the grocery store without at least one picture of you showing up on Daily Mail.

You’d grown up with it and, for the most part, you didn’t have to do things like that anyway. There was always someone to do those menial tasks for you.

Until you moved out of your parents’ house. You finally graduated college; a twenty-something kid finally ready to jump into the world on your own two feet. You were eagerly awaiting your move into your New York City apartment – a swanky two-bedroom on the top floor of a building in Soho.

Everything was going swimmingly well until you had an altercation with paparazzi. It was hard to navigate the narrow streets and sidewalks of the city, and as you were meeting your friend at a restaurant, you found it was a little too easy for the cameramen to push you around on the street. However, while you were thinking more along the lines of a restraining order against them, your father had other ideas.

“No way,” you interrupted, holding your hands up to your father. “That’s not happening.”

He raised his eyebrows at you. “It is happening. Unless you want this to happen again.” He tossed the stack of newspapers onto your dining table, the photo of you on the front page sliding across the table towards you. The title read “(Y/N) Falters – Will She Fumble Daddy’s Company?” You bit the inside of your cheek, the photo immortalized you trying to push past the group of people photographing your every step, the bright flashes causing you to hold your hands in front of your eyes. “This won’t be happening again.”

…

That’s how you met Bucky. At first, it was nice to have him around. He shook your hand once as he introduced himself. It was months before he even said anything else to you. He stood posted up in the doorway of every room you walked into. He wore a smart looking suit ever day, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to show off his tanned muscles underneath.

He walked you to restaurants, taking the lead, keeping the paparazzi at a far distance away from you. He followed you around shopping, carrying your Gucci, Dior, and Balenciaga bags to your car for you. God, it was a dream. What was even dreamier were his eyes. Before anyone approached you to speak with you, he stopped them, turning his head to look at you for your nod of approval before letting them past. And holy fuck those two seconds of fleeting eye contact made you absolutely melt. You almost started scheduling unnecessary appointments into your schedule just so he could face you again for confirmation. You stared back at him as seductively as possible, eyes half lidded, glossy, staring back at him and tilting your head in the slightest nod.

That was the only time he ever acknowledged you. That, and when he opened your car door for you. He never said much – if anything – at all. But his presence was so demanding: his shoulders were so broad, his chest constantly puffed out, his jaw clenched, and eyebrows narrowed in challenge. It took every bit of willpower not to jump his bones.

…

You had a certain mentality when it came to work. There was a certain image to be portrayed. You always dressed to the nines: a fitted suit, usually Balmain or Chanel, complete with gold jewelry and tall heels. Your makeup was done every day: a neutral pallet, something that unsuspecting peers would assume to be natural. Your hair was always perfectly in place: either cascading smoothly down your back or pinned neatly into a bun. Not only were you running the company, but you were also the face of the company.

You walked around with your head held high, shoulders back, and with determination in your step. People watched you as you walked down the hallway. Maybe some in admiration, others envy, even a few with desire. You always heard their whispers, though.  

Bucky walked in-toe with you always remaining a cool two steps behind you; you could feel his gaze burning into the back of his head. You entered your office, Bucky taking his usual post by the door. You plopped down in your large leather chair, preparing yourself for your meeting.

Your morning got progressively worse as the meetings progressed, people not cooperating, work not being done, no conflicts getting resolved. As you last meeting ended, and the particularly patronizing man left your office, you couldn’t hold back muttering a “fucking prick” as the door shut behind him.

Bucky pinched is lips together, holding back a smirk. You reclined in your chair, watching him regain his poise quickly, eyes not moving from the fixed position on the wall in front of him. “You know, James,” you spoke up, instantly getting his attention. “That was my last meeting today; you can sit, if you’d like.” You gestured to the seating area across the room.

He nodded in thanks, strutting across the room and sitting on the black couch in front of you. All you wanted was to join him on the couch. The things you could do to him on that couch – the things he could do to you on that couch. “You can call me Bucky,” he stated, reclining against the back, legs spreading open a tad bit.

You nodded stiffly and bit your bottom lip, unable to tear your eyes away from his splayed posture. “Bucky,” you whispered, testing his name on your tongue. And, damn, it tasted good.

You snapped yourself out of your fixation, pulling your laptop in front of you, pretending to work as you couldn’t get that image out of your head. The face that you could still see his propped-up figure over the top of your laptop screen; his eyes had not drifted from your person.

…

Your were temporarily blinded, gripping the back of Bucky’s jacket as he pushed through the crowd of people, shoving open the door to the lobby of your apartment. Calling the elevator, he watched as you smoothed down the ends of your hair, trying to rub the light spots out of your eyes as best you could without smudging mascara all over your face. He ushered you in once the doors opened, holding a hand lightly to your waist.

You dropped your back against the shiny elevator walls, crossing your arms over your chest and staring at the reflection on the wall in front of you. You looked tired, makeup wearing off under your eyes, purple circles under your eyes becoming prominent; a few flyaways framed your face, curling and unruly. The doors opened and you pushed your way through before Bucky. You shoved open the apartment door, throwing your purse on the table, viciously kicking of your heels. You heard Bucky shut the door softly and he paused before entering the kitchen behind you.

Today had been effectively one of the worst days of your life. Work was terrible: your day was run with meetings and disrespectful colleagues, bulldozing over all your ideas and suggestions; it rained during lunch, completely ruining the Coach heels you were wearing to attend the business luncheon; afterwards was much worse. You were highlighted in the issue of Forbes Magazine. You’d been waiting for this for months: you’d done multiple interviews, had photoshoots, the whole nine yards. You were excited for the world to see the underlying factors of what made you you; for them to finally recognize not only your past academic achievements, but also all you have accomplished thus far with the company, for them to see that you were capable – qualified – to run this company.

Boy were you hopeful.

You were met, in fact, with quite the opposite.

Waves upon waves of criticism washed upon you after the release. You were met with all kinds of backtalk: everything from you inheriting the company, to being accepted into college because of your dads’ money, to “stick to makeup, honey.” People began commenting on how they thought you walked all over people, how you rarely seemed friendly in the workplace, how you “used men.”

It couldn’t be more the opposite.

While you liked to maintain a certain image and always have a presentable appearance, despite any men or women that sought after you, you’d turned them downs. In fact, you’d never had a boyfriend – let alone any friends.

You worked hard to retain a respectable image. The problem with working and living in a dog-eat-dog world is the sacrifices you had to make to maintain such an image. You couldn’t simply allow people to walk all over you – achieving this took years. You had to speak up in times others would cower, use your voice when there was an issue other did not seem to care about. You had to walk with your head held high and your shoulders back.

Once you obtained dominance in the workplace, you had to conquer the world of love. It could make you gag. You wanted to intimidate the men that once patronized you. You wanted them to want you, fight over you, worship you. But you’d ever let them have you. Nobody could see you vulnerable, nobody could love you, touch you, blackmail you. That’s the way it had to be.

But you couldn’t always be so ruthless. Right now, you leaned against the counter, dropping your hands onto the cold marble surface. It was one of those days like today where everything got the best of you. Everyone tore you apart, you’d spent the last half of the day just reading tweets about yourself.

“She looks like such a bitch.”

“Would it kill her to smile? Not the kind of boss I’d want to work for.”

“My friend worked for her and said she has everyone else do her work for her.”

“Forbes, is this issue recognizing daddy’s money?”

Bucky placing a mug next to you pulled you out of your thoughts. You stared down at the steaming mug, Bucking suddenly speaking up: “maybe if you drank something, you’d feel better.”

You pushed past him, shoving him away from you as you headed to your bedroom. God, all you wanted was to be alone. Did he have to be here every second of the day? All you wanted was silence and he picks this one time to start babying you? You slammed the door shut, the sound echoing throughout the vast apartment. You stripped your nice clothes, opting for a shower and large t-shirt for bed.

Bucky sat in the living room, listening to you shuffle around your bedroom. He finally stood, ready to head home, when he heard the softest sound come from you bedroom. A sniffle. Followed by another.

He leaned against the doorframe, listening to the noises that he’d never heard from you before – hell, he never thought you were capable of that emotion. He weighed his options carefully: go inside and comfort you, it didn’t seem like you had a lot of close friends or even family that checked in on you, you must’ve felt so alone, and everyone attacking you definitely didn’t feel nice; he could leave and let you deal with this on you own – which is probably what you wanted, considering he knew how long it took you to create your façade. However, Bucky could see right through it – he could always see through it. No matter how intimidating and powerful you wanted yourself to be, he and everyone else knew that you were a spoilt brat trying to live up to daddy’s expectations, but only he knew that at your deepest core, you were a tired, lonely, sad little girl, wishing for just one day of invisibility, in which nobody knew who you were, nobody care about you – like you didn’t exist.

…

You and Bucky continued your usual routines from then on, nothing changed. He didn’t talk to you; you didn’t talk to him. He spent his time pushing people out of your way, and you went along pretending nobody existed.

It was two weeks after that when you spoke to him for the third time. You and Bucky were walking from the parking garage to your place. That’s when a masked man came out from behind you and grabbed a hold of your purse. You helped in surprise as he tried to run past you, one hand loosely gripping your Birkin. Before you could even turn to the direction he ran off in, Bucky’s hand hit him square in the jaw. You gasped, holding your hands up to your open mouth as Bucky knelt on top of the man, continuously hitting him and holding him down.

You saw a flash simmer as you saw Bucky’s hand move, holding the other man to the sidewalk. Metal? Did he have a prosthetic arm? When did that happen? And why didn’t you ever notice it before?

In the mixture of bystanders, paparazzi, and doormen, the police quickly pushed through. Bucky was relieved of his post as the man was taken away. The policeman escorted the two of you to the lobby, where he took the information and returned your purse to you.

Eventually, Bucky took you upstairs to your floor. “Are you okay,” he asked, following you through the door.

You nodded, turning around to face him – face his arm. You stared at it, the metal coils formed in the shape of  a perfect hand, winding upwards all the way up to where his shirt sleeve was pushed up past his elbow. It shimmered in the soft lighting, reflecting the moonlight that cascaded in through your windows. He held his hands behind his back, tilting his jaw upwards slightly as he stared you down. Your eyes flitted to his narrow ones; his eyebrows narrowed between pieces of dark hair that fell over his forehead. “Yeah,” you muttered. “Yes,” you clarified, clearing your throat.

“Do you need me to stay with you? Or are you fine for the night?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, shifting your weight from one foot to another. “Stay?” It came out more of a question than you expected.  He nodded, not moving any other muscle. You quickly thought of something to break the silence and pulled your phone from your bag. “Takeout?”

He cracked a smile, nodding again. “Sounds good.”

After calling it in, you shifted away to the kitchen as Bucky sat in the living room. You didn’t know what to do to fill the silence. You’d never talked to him. You fumbled around with a wine bottle, popping it open and taking a long pull straight from the bottle before heading towards Bucky with two glasses. Hopefully some liquid courage would kick in quickly. You poured him a glass, another for yourself, and sat beside him on the plush sofa.

It was quiet. It was awkward.

“Thank you for, y’know,” you murmured over the rim of your wine glass, eyes falling to the red liquid swirling in your glass.

“No problem, it’s my job,” he replied casually. “To protect you.” You nodded; lips pressed tight in a line. You looked around the room, trying to find anything to look at. Your gaze landed on the metal arm propped up on the side of the couch. “You wanna take a picture of it, doll?” He chuckles lightly, tapping his fingers on the fabric of the sofa.

“Oh!” You snapped out of your gaze, jumping slightly on the couch. “Sorry – I didn’t mean to stare, I just – just – ” you stuttered over your words, reaching out slightly towards him.

He smiled, genuinely smiled this time, tongue running over his bottom lip. “It’s okay, (Y/N) – ” your name sounded so good on his lips “ – you can touch it, if you want.” Touch it? Touch what? You nearly started salivating. Then he held his hand out to you, palm facing upwards, fingers outstretched. You held your hand out, brushing his metal palm with the tips of your fingers. He chuckled again, flipping your hand around and holding your own hand in his. He ran his metal fingers over the backs of your knuckles. It was cold, yet so much softer than you expected.

Your eyes flitted up to meet his blue ones, already staring back at you. He licked his lips and leaned ever so slightly towards you. Your breath hitched in the back of your throat as you stared at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. “See, that’s not so bad, right?” He whispered, gaze shifting from your eyes to your lips, tinged red from the wine.

You held your breath, leaning the rest of the way in, shutting your eyes.

Then you hit a brick wall.

A metal wall.

Your eyes snap open to see Bucky’s metal hand gripping your shoulder, holding you in place. “Look, (Y/N) – ” there he goes with your name, again “ – I didn’t mean to send any signals…” he trailed off, dropping his hand and pushing himself up to his feet. Signals? No, of course not. Just holding my hand, staring lustfully into my eyes, and looking at my lips. Not to mention licking his own. You almost rolled your eyes. “I’m sorry,” he sighed.

You did roll your eyes, standing with him. “It’s…” you trailed off. Save face. “Whatever.” You turned away, shuffling to the front door, pulling it open.

He left without another word, but not without stopping to look into your eyes – at least, he tried to, if it hadn’t been for you dropping your whole head, staring blankly at the floor. You slammed the door behind him, nearly nicking his back heel as he stepped into the corridor.

Well, that was perfectly embarrassing. The best way to end such a terrible day. Utter embarrassment. You didn’t know how you were supposed to face him tomorrow.

Sadness turned into anger as you threw his wine glass directly into the sink, watching as the glass shards flew across the countertops. Who did he think he was? That he could act like that and then throw it back in your face? His signals were perfectly clear. In fact, you were haunted by those signals all night.

By the touch of his skin.

By his blue eyes.

…

You didn’t sleep that night. Instead, spent your time getting ready all morning. Hair perfectly set down your back, eyes surrounded by sultry makeup, a ferocious looking contour. You put on your tallest heels, tightest dress, and shiniest jewelry.

You looked ravenous.

Bucky knocked on your front door, as he did every morning to take you to work. You slung your bag over your shoulder, took a deep breath, and swung open the door. You looked straight past him; eyes directed on the elevator doors in front of you. You walked directly past him, relying on him to shut the door behind you.

Your heart was racing, it took all of your willpower not to twitch or tap your foot as you waited for the elevator. You set your jaw and stood stonewalled.

That’s how the day went: you completely ignoring Bucky. Although you normally ignored Bucky, today you didn’t look at him, thank him when he opened the door for you, nothing. Not even sparing a glance as he stared at you from his position on the sofa in your office. There he sat, usually splayed out and legs open; you could feel him staring at you. All you wanted to do was run into the women’s bathroom and sit there all day – anywhere would be better than here with him.

That’s how the weekend went, too: you spent the first six days ignoring him. Today was Saturday and you wanted to go shopping. Not the normal shopping. Today was all about showing Bucky that if you wanted something, you got it.

Again sporting the skimpiest outfit you could manage, you dragged Bucky around shopping all day. By your fifth store, your feet were absolutely killing you from walking so far in these heels, but it was worth it to torture Bucky. He carried all of your bags – from your purse, to you shopping bags, to even your coat. And nothing pissed him off more than you waiting at the register, the person behind the counter ringing up your literal tens-of-thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes, shoes, and bags, clicking your tongue and holding your hand out for your wallet. You tapped your foot, continuing your light conversation with the employee, waiting for Bucky to drop the heavy wallet into your palm. Without a turn of your head or even a thank you, you finished the transaction, walking through the door immediately, leaving Bucky to take your purchases.

This is what he deserved after embarrassing you like that. Was he just so nice to see where you’d take it? Did he want you to try to kiss him, just so he could say no? Just so he could turn you down? To be the one guy you wanted – and never got? Maybe he was going to sell the story. He was just like any other guy – but then why wouldn’t he kiss you? And the thought replayed in your mind, as did that night’s events. You had no other choice but to continue shopping and dragging him around.

Oh, he was pissed.

A fucking bagman? That’s how you saw him? That night was probably the calmest he’d ever seen you. You seemed nervous, even. Nervous because of his arm? Yes, he would’ve loved nothing more than to have you in the palm of his hand – literally – he would’ve loved to kiss you, and touch you, and hold you. He couldn’t take advantage of you like that. Not in your most vulnerable moment. After the robbery, you mind must’ve been scrambled. He wasn’t sure if that was your way of thanking him. He wasn’t about to let you throw yourself on him – who knows how you would’ve felt the next day.

But that’s not how you saw it, and you weren’t about to let him explain.

And this show you were putting on for him? He wasn’t dumb; he would’ve had to be oblivious to not know you were showing off for him. These skimpy outfits and tight dresses, necklaces that ended just at the top of your cleavage, skirts that ended just at the curve of your ass – he loved every minute of it. But he wanted you ­­out of it at the same time.

You were treating him like shit, which he didn’t enjoy. He could’ve stopped by now: dropped all your shit and walked right out of the store. Instead, he clenched his jaw, bit his tongue, and followed you around the block, holding your bags; the only saving grace was getting to walk behind you and stare at your shaking ass all day.

…

You pushed the apartment door open, barely holding it open long enough for Bucky to slip through, carrying bags lined up his arms. You heard the crinkling of some of the paper bags as the door shut on him. He took one step in, letting the door fall shut, then dropped everything to the floor nicely.

“No,” you said, not looking up from your cell phone. You pointed a finer across the room. “Bedroom.”

A sharp laughed cracked through the silence. You almost flinched, starting at Bucky cackling loudly at you. “That’s not my job.”

You stared at him, narrowing your eyes in challenge. “Excuse me?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, shit-eating-grin unfaltering. “You heard me, princess.”

You didn’t move. Instead, you took a step backwards as he approached you. He walked towards you until you were backed up against the kitchen counter. You mimicked his arms, crossing them over your own chest, inadvertently pushing your cleavage up – which you noticed when you saw his eyes flit down for the tiniest second before returning to your own eyes, a tinge of pink lacing his cheeks – not that he cared. “Don’t fucking call me that,” you spat, tilting your chin up. You were not intimidated by him.

He got so close that your pelvises were nearly touching. He leaned down, dropping his hands to the countertop on either side of you, his lips barely grazing the shell of your ear as he bent closer. “What do you want me to call you, baby?”

God, you looked so real in that moment. Caught off guard, maybe. But your usual forced scowl was replaced by your surprised expression, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly ajar, tongue tucked right where your two plump lips meet. You were holding your breath, he could tell. He liked you like this, better. When you weren’t trying to be all hard and intimidating, when you didn’t know how to react – couldn’t deal with these emotions because just this once, they were real.

You stumbled over your words, mind suddenly not processing anything. His stubble rubbed ever so lightly over your jaw, his breath tickling your neck. You didn’t know how long you were standing there. It felt like forever since either of you said anything.

Suddenly, he pulled away – just like before. You released your breath, about to speak and then –

He grabbed your face in both hands (one warm to the touch, the other cold from the marble) and held you so that you eyes gazed up at him. His blue eyes looking back into yours, a smile pulling at one corner of his lips. He pulled your head upwards, leaning his own down, meeting in the middle in a soft, tender kiss. He shrugged, letting himself fully tilt into the kiss, hips touching each other’s; you swung your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to him, chest pressing against his.

God, you could get used to this.

And all it took was a little shopping.

[jewish-space-laser]

Miles & Black Coffee - Part One

“When you’re on a golden sea, You don’t need no memory, Just a place to call your own, As we drift into the zone...” 

-Island in the Sun by Weezer

Hello, and welcome to part one of M&BC! She’s split up into parts, a day late, and a bit rusty... but she’s here! It’ll be my first new piece of writing since I rejoined tumblr, so it’s a bit nerve-wracking. Thank you to Kate @andwhenshesays, Anne @oh-honey-styles, and Anna @for-fucks-sake-h for organizing this entire challenge, you’ve brought so much joy to our little tumblr community. We love you all dearly ♥️ (4.5k words)

xoxoxox Tile

Warnings: mild drinking, mild drug use (just weed)

You and Harry would never be friends. You were up and down, night and day, oil and water. You just didn’t mesh. He was your roommate’s insufferable older brother, and that is all he would ever be. Well, at least that’s what you thought before….

or

the one with campfire conversations, cabin getaways, and enemies that were never really enemies after all.

MONDAY

Pine trees and cornfields flew by in a blur as you stared out the window of your roommate’s minivan. Every once in a while, there’d be a pasture of cows or a horse ranch. It had been exciting at first, but now you were just bored. 

“How much longer?” You called over the music, trying to keep the whine from your voice. It had been hours since you left your apartment this morning, and you’d only stopped once to stretch your legs and take a bathroom break. 

“The GPS says we still have an hour and a half to go,” Callie groaned, stepping a bit harder on the gas pedal.

Normally, you loved road trips, but this particular drive was more cramped than you’d bargained for. There were seven girls packed into the van, and you’d been unfortunate enough to get squished into the backseat with your twin sister and her girlfriend, who hadn’t stopped with the obnoxious PDA since the car got on the freeway. 

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, trying to will away your nauseating carsickness. This week had been marked into your calendar for months, and you’d be damned if you let this god-awful car ride ruin it for you. 

Callie, your college roommate, had a cabin in northern Wisconsin that she’d been raving about for years. She’d been going there with her family for decades, every summer since pre-school, she’d said. According to her, it was a beautiful property, equipped with a private lakeside beach, fire pit, and a full bar. 

It was going to be the perfect getaway. You and Callie had rounded up all of your girlfriends, packed all of the essentials for a spa night, junk food, board games, movies. You’d packed four swimsuits just in case; the weather forecast looked fantastic, high seventies and low eighties all week long. 

It was going to be the perfect vacation. Well, almost perfect. 

Harry was going to be there.

Harry, the constant thorn in your side. Harry, Callie’s older brother. Harry, the one who eats all of your food whenever he visits. Harry, the one who constantly picked fights with you. You and him had never gotten along, not even for a second. 

There wasn’t a single person alive who got on your nerves more than he did. Generally, you got along with most people, but Harry was the exception to the rule. You couldn’t seem to shake him off. 

You weren’t about to let him ruin this trip, though. There were going to be fourteen people staying at the cabin, so it should be a piece of cake to avoid him for a week; there were plenty of other people to interact with. And even if you couldn’t avoid him, you were going to let his inevitable snarky comments roll off of your back. Well, you’d try to, at least.

Perhaps that’s what annoyed you most about him, the reaction you’d have from the smallest fight. With anyone else, it was water under the bridge… with Harry, you thought about it for days afterwards, thinking of better comebacks you should’ve said or ways you could have changed your schedule to steer clear of him altogether. He made your skin prickle with irritation, and turned you into somebody you didn’t like very much. 

It had been months since you’d seen him, not that you’d been keeping track. He typically visits Callie a few times a semester, but his senior year was more intense than he had anticipated, according to his sister. He just couldn’t spare the two hour drive from his university to yours.

But now it was summertime. Gone were the papers, projects, and responsibilities… it was finally time to relax and have fun. You only had one year of college left before graduation, so you and your friends wanted to make the most of it. Harry and his friends had just graduated, so they were at the cabin for their last hurrah before real life kicked in. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you were excited that Harry was bringing some of his frat brothers along. You and your ex had just ended things recently, and you were finally feeling ready to get back into the dating game. Being trapped in a cabin with a handful of cute guys felt like a dream. 

Finally, after what felt like centuries, Callie slowed the car down and turned onto a dirt road. The other girls in the car started desperately peering out the window to get a glimpse of the lake and surrounding forest. 

The moment the cabin came into view, your jaw dropped. You knew Callie’s parents were loaded, but this hardly looked like the rustic getaway you were expecting. There were three buildings, each labelled with a birch bark sign. Two speedboats and a pontoon were docked at the beach, inflatable tubes and paddleboards littered around the sand nearby. 

It wasn’t until Callie parked and shut off the engine that you heard a heavy bass thrum coming from the building marked MAIN CABIN. The other two buildings were labelled GUEST CABIN and SHOWER HOUSE. You were snapped out of it when Olivia and Jane, who had been sitting in the middle bucket seats, swung their sliding doors open and practically fell onto the ground. 

“I don’t think I remember how to walk normally,” Charlie, a girl from your art history class, groaned, “like, we were sitting in that car for so long….”

“Oh, shush,” your sister, Morgan, scoffed, “at least you got to sit up front. I was crammed into the back between these two.”

Both you and her girlfriend, Isobel, huffed in protest, but it wasn’t worth picking a fight over. You’d have plenty of time to bicker later. For now, the fresh air and cool breeze were like heaven after a long road trip.

“The boys beat us here,” Callie remarked.

Sure enough, there were two other cars already parked in the driveway. Back behind the main cabin, a plume of smoke rose into the air. You could hear loud laughter, loud enough to drown out the trap music they had playing. 

“They’ve started a bonfire!” Olivia squealed, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “I’m ready to get partying… it’s four in the afternoon and I’ve spent all day in a car. I need a drink.”

A few others were laughing and nodding in agreement, already making their way towards the boys, but you hung back. You’d party later, but after spending an entire day stuck with six other people, you just wanted to be alone. Plus, you wanted to drink tonight, and you’d never get around to unpacking your bag if you were wasted. 

You managed to dig your duffel bag out from the pile of luggage in the trunk, letting it fall to the ground with a thump. Callie had just been finishing up with a phone call when you looked up. 

“Hey, you’re not joining the others?” She asked. “I was about to head over, they’ve got a fire going. Just had to call my mum to let her know we made it.”

“I’ll join in a bit,” you promised “but I want to unpack my things first… where are we all staying?”

“You’re in the main cabin, I have you sharing a room with Charlie, is that okay?” She questioned. You nodded quickly, relief flooding over you. You liked all of the girls who came on the trip, but Charlie was by far the easiest to get along with. “Harry and I each have our own room in the main cabin, too, so you won’t be alone. Everyone else is in the guest cabin, though.”

“The guest cabin,” you giggled, slinging your bag over your shoulder as Callie lead you into the main building, “this place is swanky, Cal.”

“We host all of our family reunions here,” she shrugged, “we need lots of space. Plus it’s fun for occasions like this… we’re just lucky my dad is letting us use the boats. He treats those things like they’re his own children, only Harry is allowed to drive them this week.”

You made a face at the mention of her brother. “I’ll be staying far away from the boats, then.”

“Oh god,” Callie groaned, “I know you two don’t get along very well, but please try to be civil… we’re here for a whole week, after all.”

“I’m always civil,” you protested innocently, “it’s him you need to worry about.”

“Always civil,” she scoffed, “we both know that’s not true, but I’ll let it slide.”

Okay, so maybe you had a slight temper when it came to Harry, but nine times out of ten, he was the one who started the argument. You were never the type to actively seek out conflict, but Harry seemed to thrive off of it. Whether it was eating all the food from your half of the fridge, throwing his dark blue t-shirt in with your load of whites, or playing his guitar in your living room until three in the morning when you had a test the next day… it felt like he was out to get you. 

And he was never apologetic. Of course not. He probably got off on watching steam blow from your ears. 

You took a deep breath as Callie led you up a wooden staircase, trying not to let yourself get worked up. The cabin was gorgeous from what you’d seen on the main floor. Though you hadn’t lingered, you’d noticed that there was a bookshelf that took up an entire wall, packed to the brim with books with faded spines, vinyl records with worn edges, and an assortment of candles and bookends sprinkled throughout randomly. You couldn’t wait to explore the entire property. 

Photographs lined the walls of every hallway, snapshots of Harry and Callie running around as kids. There was a hilarious picture of a young Harry crying as he held a fishing pole, a bare hook dangling from the line. The Styles family clearly had a great sense of humor. You made a mental note to take a photo of it on your phone later; it would be perfect ammo for the next fight that Harry would inevitably start. 

“This is the bathroom…” she drawled, “no shower though. We all just use the shower house, which isn’t really as bad as it sounds. Just make sure you bring clothes with you, otherwise you’ll have to walk across the lawn in just your towel.”

You grimaced at the thought. As she continued to lead you down the hall, you saw two doors, one with CALLIE’S ROOM written in bright pink bubble letters, and the second with a wooden plaque, the word HARRY written in what was clearly a child’s handwriting. 

“This is technically my parents’ room, but we use it as a guest room if it’s just us kids,” Callie explained, stopping at the last door in the hallway, “they have a king bed, so I figured you and Charlie could just share.”

“That’s fine,” you assured her, not hesitating to drop your heavy duffel onto the side of the bed closest to the window, “this place is awesome, Callie.”

“Right?” She grinned. “I’m stoked for the week, it’s gonna be so fun.”

“You should go down to the bonfire,” you told her, placing a hand on your bag, “I’ll come join as soon as I’m done.”

Luckily, your roommate of two years understood that you needed alone time sometimes, so she left you without protest. 

This was exactly the recharge time that you needed. You were the kind of person who loved being around friends, but there was only so much socializing you could handle before you needed a break to be on your own. Even though you hadn’t spoken much on the ride to the cabin, being squished into a mini-van with six other girls drained your social battery. Giving yourself a moment to breathe and relax was necessary if you were going to rejoin the group.

Pressing the shuffle play button on your spotify, you smiled when the soft melody of your favorite folk song thrummed through your headphones. You swayed from side-to-side as you unzipped your bag, which had been packed to perfection. 

Four swimsuits, a different outfit for each day (plus a few extra items… overpacking is better than underpacking), sunscreen, bug spray, all of your toiletries. It was fun to organize everything into the empty wardrobe by the window; looking at all of your stuff just made you more excited to be here.

Time flew by as you danced around the room. Most of your things were put away, and you’d stashed your empty bag under the bed. The one thing you hadn’t put away yet was your assortment of swimsuits. It had been difficult picking out which ones you wanted to bring, but you’d settled on three bikinis and a one-piece with the sides cut out. You were itching to change out of your leggings and t-shirt; they felt gross against your skin after sitting in the van all day. 

Just as you went to pick up your navy blue sequined bikini top, a hand abruptly clamped down on your shoulder. 

“Holy shit!” You spun around on your heels, hand flying to cover your beating heart. You were less than pleased to find Harry standing there, wide-eyed and trying to mask his amusement by biting down on his lip. 

“Didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” he chuckled, “forgot how jumpy you are.”

“I’m not jumpy,” you frowned, pulling your headphones out of your ears and crossing your arms over your stomach, “what are you doing in here?”

“Nice to see you too,” he scoffed, dimple indenting into his cheek, “I was just using the loo, then I was gonna go back to the party, where we’re having fun. Foreign concept to you, I’m sure.”

You rolled your eyes, turning around so he couldn’t see how hard you were scowling. He always knew just what to say to get your blood boiling.

“Are you implying that I don’t know how to have fun, Harry?” You asked sarcastically. 

“Ah, I knew you were smarter than you looked,” he grinned. “Cute swim top.”

It was only then that you noticed his attire. Well, lack of attire. He was wearing the smallest swimming shorts you’d ever seen, his chest tanned from the sun and completely bare apart from a single cross necklace that hung over his sternum. His hair had grown out since the last time you saw him, and it looked a bit ridiculous with his sunglasses on top of his head. 

He looked good, not that you’d ever admit it. Luckily, you were fantastic at masking your wandering eyes; he had a tendency of walking around your apartment in his boxers during visits, so you’d had plenty of practice.

“Shut up,” you groaned, throwing the bikini top back onto the bed. You’d been planning on wearing that one, but Harry ruined it with his gross comment, just like he ruins most things for you. 

“I’m quite incapable of shutting up,” he mused, throwing himself down onto your side of the bed, “you should know this by now.”

“Trust me,” you were completely unamused, still standing with your arms crossed over your stomach, “I’m well aware.”

“You should come join the party,” he continued speaking as if you hadn’t said anything, seemingly unfazed by how visibly irritated you were, “it’s the first day and you’re already being a buzzkill. Maybe you should try like… try stepping out of your comfort zone, just for the week.”

“Thank you so much for that lovely unsolicited advice,” you said sarcastically, “now if we’re talking about comfort zones, you laying on my bed is definitely out of mine.”

“Please, you love me on your bed,” he smirked, closing his eyes, “this is a dream come true for you.”

“Are you delusional?” You were running out of patience. “Did you hit your head?”

“Why?” He said innocently. “Are you thinking about playing nurse? Because I hate to break your heart, but I’m not into wet blankets. Maybe if you loosened up a bit.”

If he wasn’t gone in thirty seconds, you were going to scream. He seemed to be enjoying himself, arms crossed behind his head with a twinkle in his eye as you stared daggers at him. 

“Are you quite done?” You spit. “I can feel my IQ dropping every time you speak. Plus, I need to change before I come down.”

“Ooh, can I watch?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

That was it. “Harry, get out, okay?”

“Jeez, okay, fine,” he grumbled, rolling clumsily off of the bed, “so bossy, you are.”

You pointed a finger towards the door, leveling him with the steeliest glare you could muster. “Out,” you repeated.

“You should come down sooner rather than later,” he said, completely unbothered, “I’m sure you’ll be much nicer once you’ve had a drink or two.”

He was gone before you could think of a response. The annoyance bubbling inside you was so intense, you felt like you wanted to break something. Instead, you punched your pillow a few times to release some tension, taking a deep breath to compose yourself after.

You wrinkled your nose at the blue bikini top, choosing to wear an orange floral patterned one instead. You’d never give Harry the satisfaction.

~~~

The fire was absolutely roaring. 

It was perfect. The fire pit was lined with wooden logs, the tops shaved off to make benches. There was hardly enough space for all fourteen of you, but you managed to squeeze in as you all roasted corn and hot dogs over the fire. It wasn’t too windy, so you didn’t have to worry about smoke blowing into your eyes, but the bugs were relentless. 

The air around you smelled of smoke, bug spray, and good food. There were a few different conversations happening, and every once in a while, a few people would break out into loud, contagious laughter. 

Harry had tried to talk to you when you came down, but you’d avoided him like the plague. You had absolutely nothing nice to say to him after his snarky comments in your room, and any further interaction with him at this point would just end in disaster. Thankfully, he was quickly distracted by some of his frat brothers, and he hadn’t tried to approach you again all night. 

Now, you were chatting with Olivia and one of the boys, Luke. By the time you’d gone down to the bonfire, everyone was several drinks in. You’d been forced to play catch-up by way of tequila shots, so you had a pleasant buzz running through your veins.

“This is a perfect summer night,” you sighed happily, pulling your skewer from the flames to keep your corn from burning. 

“Almost perfect,” a boy named Archie corrected, “we haven’t been out on the lake yet.”

Harry and three of the other boys had arrived a night early to get the boats ready, and now that Archie mentioned it, the pontoon was looking mighty tempting. The sun hadn’t fully set, but dusk was beginning to settle in, blanketing the forest with pink and orange hues, a gorgeous reflection of the sunset above you. It was the perfect time to go out on the water.

“How do we feel about the pontoon?” You wondered out loud. There was no way you’d all fit, but you could go in groups. 

“It’s too buggy to be on the water,” Callie wrinkled her nose, “I’m getting eaten alive as it is.”

“I’m down, as long as I can smoke a spliff while we’re out there,” James, one of the other boys, shrugged, “obviously I’ll share, I brought tons.”

A few others around the circle chimed in with their interest, and before you knew it, people were standing up to make their way over to the docks. You weren’t the best with names, but much to your relief, you’d introduced yourself to everyone going on the boat. Obviously, you already knew Morgan and Isobel, and were somewhat friendly with Jane, Archie, and James. 

“I’ll come along, too,” a voice behind you yawned. When you turned around, you immediately felt yourself melt. Ryan, a boy you’d had a single class with freshman year, was stretching his arms out as he stood up, and he was looking directly at you with a flirtatious smile. 

You’d had a major crush on him for the entirety of your class together, but you’d been too shy to say anything to him. He was a whole year older, after all, and that had been intimidating when you were eighteen. 

You returned his smile, biting down on your bottom lip shyly. 

“I guess I’m going too, then,” Harry sighed, shoving the last of his hot dog into his mouth before dusting his hands off. 

Immediately, your face dropped. Harry snorted when he saw your expression, digging around the pocket in his swimsuit to retrieve a key. 

“I’m the only one allowed to drive the boats, remember? Dad made me promise.” 

Your shoulders slumped. You’d completely forgotten that Callie had mentioned it to you earlier. You weren’t about to turn down a sunset boat ride though, especially now that Ryan was coming along as well. 

Everyone scarfed down the rest of their food in a rush as Harry went over to untie the boat and make sure it was good to go. You watched as he leaned far over the edge of the dock, so far that nearly fell face-first into the water before righting himself and trying again.. 

“Hey,” Ryan had walked next to you, following your line of sight, “he’s gonna fall in, isn’t he?”

“I hope so,” you giggled.

“You were in my History 204 class, weren’t you? Sophomore year?” He asked.

Your entire body flushed. You didn’t think he’d noticed you at all, let alone enough to remember you years later. Having Ryan up at the cabin, talking to you, felt like a dream come true.

“I was a freshman, but yeah, I think so,” you nodded nonchalantly, “I hated that professor.”

“Oh god, same!” He laughed, shaking his head, “such a drag, just constant pop quizzes!”

“Ugh, yes!” You turned your body towards him fully. “And that midterm assignment….”

“Don’t even get me started,” Ryan pretended to shiver in fear. 

You laughed loudly, and from the corner of your eye you saw Harry turn to glance in your direction. Upon a closer look, he’d managed to wrangle the boat so it was right up against the dock. 

“All aboard!” He shouted.

You rolled your eyes at his ridiculous antics. He always thought he was so funny, especially when you were the butt of his jokes. You hoped he’d be too busy driving to bother you. 

Luckily, Ryan seemed keen to stay by your side, even helping you step into the boat by taking your hand to keep you balanced, so Harry didn’t have much of a chance to say anything. By the time the boat was moving, everyone was sitting in a circle on the floor, clipping in the life jackets that Callie had forced us all to wear. 

As soon as the wind blew through your hair, you tilted your head up and closed your eyes. Lakes didn’t smell great, but you’d always loved it. It was classic, nostalgic. You’d spent every summer of your life swimming in Midwest lakes, so it felt just like summer.

James was true to his word, and pulled out four fatly rolled joints, passing them around with a lighter. You didn’t do this often, but it felt like the perfect moment. The sun was disappearing fast, and soon enough you’d be able to see the stars.

At some point, Harry slowed the engine down to a gentle hum when the boat reached the middle of the lake, getting a couple of the others to help him throw the anchor over the edge. Afterwards, he moved back over to the driving console and fiddled with a few buttons until quiet, staticky music sounded out. He then sat down across the circle from you, immediately accepting one of the joints from Archie. 

You stood up on your knees, and looked around. Water lapped lightly against the sides of the boat, so it took you a moment to find your equilibrium. The silhouette of the tall pines surrounding the lake were awe-striking. 

Nobody wanted to break the silence, so you didn’t. The weed was starting to take effect, making your body feel heavy and your head feel light. You started to lay down, unclipping your life jacket to use as a pillow. Slowly, your friends followed your lead, the sounds of shuffling and buckles popping open momentarily interrupting the tranquil silence. 

You watched the sky change from pink to a deep blue, only turning your head away when the first stars became visible. Morgan was laying next to you, staring straight up at the sky. To anyone else, she looked like she was lost in thought, but you knew her better than that. There was a slight frown, watery eyes, a little crinkle across her forehead... she was worried about something. 

“What are you thinking about?” You asked, trailing a hand down her arm. She let out a long exhale. 

“This is gonna sound so soppy,” Morgan sighed, “but I can’t stop thinking about like… how different I would be if I could just, change things about myself.”

“I like you the way you are,” Isobel frowned, sitting up slightly to look at her, “plus, you can change things about yourself. People do it all the time. New hairstyles, piercings, clothes. You could completely rebrand yourself anytime you want.”

“She’s not talking about her appearance,” you said softly, squeezing Morgan’s hand, “she means… like, changing who you are, at your very core. Things you can’t help.”

“I get that,” Ryan chimed in, “I think about that, too. If I could change one thing about myself, I would make myself more motivated. My life would be so different if I could just… alter one tiny thing.”

“Exactly!” Morgan nodded. “I would… make myself less impulsive, I think. I have so many regrets, and it’s all because I never properly think before I act. I’d be so much better off if I could just learn to be more careful.”

“I like how spontaneous you are,” Isobel hummed, “but I think I know what you mean. If I could change anything about myself, I’d make myself less anxious. Anxiety has always held me back so much… I mean, fuck… I haven’t even come out to my family yet, even though I know they’d support me. I’d be so much happier if I could appreciate the good things in life, rather than stress about how to keep them.”

“I’m with Isobel,” Harry spoke. He’d just taken a rather large pull from the joint, so his voice came out rougher than gravel. “Anxiety is such a bitch, and it’s like, out of our control. It’s kept me from talking about my feelings so many times, and I feel like I’ve missed out on some really good friendships because of it.”

Despite the heaviness of the conversation, you felt happier than you had in a long time. You’d smoked just enough to feel numb, and the waves were rocking against the boat so gently that it felt like you were floating. You took a deep breath in through your nose, feeling the crisp forest air fill your lungs before exhaling. The stars were shining in the cloudless sky, crickets were chirping along the shore, and soft music was filtering through the cheap boat stereo. It was peaceful, listening to your friends pour their hearts out. 

Each person took a turn sharing what they would change about themselves. Archie would get rid of his bad temper, James would become a better listener, and Jane would be less self-conscious. 

“What would you change?” Morgan turned to look at you. 

You and your twin sister were very different people. So different, in fact, that you sometimes forgot that you were identical. In moments like this, when her eyes were watery and hooded, voice thick with sadness and hope, that you were reminded of how similar you could be. 

“If I could change anything about myself….” you mused, closing your eyes. “I think I would… let things go.”

“Let things go?” Archie echoed.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “like, let go of the past. Whenever something bad happens to me, I let it really get to me. Negative memories and feelings just… constantly eat away at me. I wish I could just wake up in the morning and think about the future… because thinking about the past is exhausting.”

Nobody spoke after your confession. Nobody tried to assure anyone that they would be okay, or convince anyone that they didn’t need to change. There was something comforting about lying in a circle with your friends, your sister… even Harry, because you were all flawed, and none of you knew what the future would bring. You all found solace in the fact that you were here, right now, laying in a circle on a boat, with an old jazz song ringing through the air.

And who knows… maybe someday, you’ll all find a way to change the parts of yourselves that bother you. Maybe you’ll learn to appreciate them. Maybe your flaws will end up helping you in the long run. 

But for now, none of you were alone. And that was enough.

~~~

Thank you for reading! I love getting feedback, so let me know what you thought! xoxoxoxoxoooooxxxxxxooooooxxxoooo Tile

[fateology]

witness my brain rot. tma raven cycle au but i haven’t looked at trc in many years so probably even more of a mess than it fundamentally is as a concept

martin blackwood as BLUE SARGENT

this is a pretty obvious choice since i casted jon as gansey already. fox way women include jane prentiss/annabelle cane/agnes montague, who all raised him as a spooky polycule. helen is there also opening doors in his bedroom when he needs boy advice (she is not to be trusted)

he is also the number one aglionbyphobe in town. comes very close to spitting on jon during their first meeting, which is a great coincidence, because jon, too, was dying to spit on him

they work it out though but only after many books of disdainful co-adventuring

his dad may or may not have been a tree

jonathan sims as RICHARD GANSEY

what is he looking for? glendower? jonah magnus’ corpse? probably jonah magnus’ corpse. when he was eight he nearly died after being attacked by i dunno a very large owl but he heard A Voice and survived. now he will not stop until he finds that buried old shithead

picks up friends like they’re fun rings. he’s not even that sociable so no one’s really sure how it happens

sits awake in monmouth every night with gerry/melanie and builds little cardboard panopticons that he sees in his dreams. why is he looking for the corpse of jonah magnus? unclear. he sure knows a lot about the man though

owner of a terrible horrible car that martin has definitely succeeded in spitting on at one point. the car is an extension of his soul so it was the next best thing

georgie barker as ADAM PARRISH

certain about this because georgie could so be an adam. aglionby is co-ed here so she can hate from within the club. the number two aglionbyphobe, she would be number one if not for the fact that she actually is in aglionby, which bumps her down one spot

begins a very intense rivalry/mutual interest with this other awful girl jon’s acquired as a friend aka wtgfs as pynch!

later on she gets psychic lessons from fox way ladies. scries in the aglionby girls toilet by plugging the sinks when she should be in latin class

(georgie, eyes black: WHAT DID MELANIE KING GET ON HER GATSBY ESSAY. AND WAS IT HIGHER THAN ME

cracks in the porcelain, rearranging: 89

georgie: FUCK)

melanie king as RONAN LYNCH

she is one half of two ronans because i split ronan into two parts. she’s ronan prime. the number three aglionbyphobe. rouser of tempers, flouter of school rules, breaker of nose bridges

she and jon are friends because she broke his nose in phys ed after he ran into her on accident

super into the other awful girl jon’s acquired as a friend, will not admit it even to herself. proceeds to have four books worth of angry dreams about it

drives her dead father’s swanky car around all the time because what is the raven cycle about if not driving your dead father’s swanky car around all the time. brotherless, except for gerry, who is basically her declan. they’re both greywarens and the worst kind of bffs

gerard keay as RONAN LYNCH, DOS, or DECLAN LYNCH, LITE

gerry is also a lynch sibling except that he’s both declan and ronan somehow

mary is niall and eric is aurora. instead of grieving for mary’s death gerry goes frolicking in the hills out of sheer joy (ABOUT TIME! and with a TIRE IRON no less! this is everything he’s dreamed of)

but also eric is dream-asleep except when he’s in the forest...what was it called...cabeswater. so not a full win. cabeswater was a keay/king team effort

anyway gerry greywaren indulgence 💖 he would do great with a raven on his shoulder. he was the one who brought jon to the nurse after melanie broke his nose, providing jon with the absolute coup of two awful new friends in one day. fast forward some months and gerry’s bunkbedding with melanie in monmouth

lots of gay rivalries (4 to be specific) and gay car races, which brings me to the next thing,

mike crew as JOSEPH KAVINSKY

except less of a douchebag and more of an asshole. primarily because the witch at the middle of the figurative bog of my prolonged tma brain rot is gerrymike. actually this would be tma dream thieves au if i’m being honest

lichtenberg figure = mike’s dream monster. mike does the counterfeiting thing mostly with rare books because he’s looking for something to exorcise the lichtenberg from his dreamscape.

that feeling when your family is rich as balls and you are functionally or genuinely an orphan and also you can manifest objects in your real life from your sleeping brain. nothing to be done about it except have some homosexual car races with your rival who happens to be sexy and a goth. once more, driving your dead father’s swanky car around all the time.

his dream pack includes jude perry/michael shelley/mikaele salesa except it’s not His dream pack because he doesn’t have the kavinsky ringleaderitis and they’re just weirdos who hang out together and occasionally do dream narcotics

sasha james as NOAH CZERNY

classic. the secretly been a ghost all this time! got #murdered years ago so she’s glad that her friends don’t seem to mind. everyone just thought she was like anemic or something.

depending on where you began the story it was about sasha james...was more when she was alive etc etc.

definitely was a skater. got beat to death with her skateboard by her best friend who was also quizzically named sasha

timothy stoker as HENRY CHENG

i don’t think i have to say much but yeah. he’s gerry’s fourth gay rivalry. wildly aglionby-popular which is honestly not something he should be proud of (he knows this)

constantly getting dunked on by all of jon’s friends but he can dunk back just as good which is a relief for him

embroiled in a mystic dynasty of his own thru his mom but way more well adjusted about it than gerry or melanie (they dunk on him to cope)

hobbies include toga parties and joining other peoples relationships (aka jonmartim as sarchengsey)

no real plot to all of it because i can’t figure out who’s who in terms of antagonists. all of them are jonah magnus wearing different people’s skins probably

[norcumii]

Prompt: either modern!AU or not - your pick of Jedi and Clones at the beach, and someone is some form of mer. :D

This takes place at some mythical point early in the war, For Reasons.

For this set of prompts.

*****

It’d been a miserable hunt across the desert half of what was otherwise a resort planet, but the Wolf Pack had managed to track and take down the Seppie agents they’d been hunting, and the General had decided that since they were here, they might as well sit tight and wait for new orders where they were. And since General Koon apparently knew someone who knew someone, that meant the Pack was billeted at one of the resorts, in one of the swanky private areas that was clearly meant for VIPs.

Which was...great...technically. In reality the beds were too damn soft, the cleaning staff had too damn much access, and the cover was more the easily breakable shit you’d find on Senate detail with the Coruscant Guard than anything useful.

And of course, there was the pools. Apparently rich and powerful people went to swanky places like this to swim? When there was some nice ocean right over there that was in fact too serene and placid for him to quite believe in the first place.

General Koon had thought to give the Pack some down time, and was making an almost-admirable attempt to present it as a team-bonding exercise. So they were all standing around in horribly garish swim shorts – resort provided, of course – looking at the private pool.

The General cleared his throat and sidled up to Wolffe. “Is something amiss?” he asked Wolffe quietly, as if the others could somehow miss him inching closer when his swim trunks were an eye-searing print of lightsaber green flowers.

Wolffe hesitated. “We’re flash-trained to swim,” he temporized. It was hard to explain. He didn’t know a single clone that had any interest in swimming. They’d been trained, but nobody he knew had been tested on that knowledge, though he’d heard rumors there was a SCUBA battalion somewhere. They’d been told from early on to keep their blacks on, stay out of the water – and on Kamino, that was just smart. Kamino’s oceans would eat anyone and anything given even a fraction of a chance.

Given how they were all lurking back and staring at the placid swimming pool like it was a Hutt’s personal garbage chute, Wolffe did have to wonder if maybe they’d also been flash trained to stay out of the water too.

“Kamino’s not kind to swimmers,” Sinker grumped. “We know to stay out of the water there.”

“No time like the present, then?” the General asked more than said, probably picking up on their collective Do Not Want.

“Oh, fuck this,” Comet muttered, then he took three big strides forward, right off the duracrete and dropping into the deep end of the pool. The rest of the Pack collectively winced, pulling back a step even under the incredulous look from the General. Comet floundered a little to get back to the surface, making a face as his head broke through the water. “Not bad except for how it smells like – the hells?!” He yelled, flailing around and splashing like something was lurking in the waters and attacking him. Wolffe didn’t think that’d be the case – they’d see something in water that clear – but something was going on. The Pack lunged, hauling a still-thrashing Comet out of the water.

Then they stared, because from the waist down, Comet...was different. His legs had fused into what sure looked like some kind of fish tail; dark gray scales, fins, the lot. His hands had developed webbing between the fingers, and his nails were sharp and very much not within regulation length. Something was off about his teeth, his eyes–

Wolffe looked to the General, who’d crouched down near Comet. Koon looked as nonplussed as the rest of the Pack, but he was working hard to keep Comet calm.

“What the fuck,” Boost whispered. He was pale, wild-eyed, and Wolffe didn’t blame him a bit.

“If that’s what happens with swimming, mark me down for never fucking trying it,” Sinker muttered, and something clicked in place in Wolffe’s head.

Shit. “Testing something,” Wolffe said, gesturing Boost and Sinker back. “Keep the General from doing anything crazy.”

“Even you can’t do that!” Sinker protested, but they moved to block Koon’s view. Wolffe took a deep, bracing breath, then crouched down at the pool’s edge. Gripping the duracrete tightly, he lowered himself into the water.

He felt something when he was about two-thirds submerged, a full-body, nauseating shiver that built until he couldn’t keep from thrashing. He didn’t let go of the duracrete, but it must’ve been too noisy because a very long moment later, he could feel that weird sensation of the Force grasping him in a full-body lift.

That meant everyone got a great view of his own set of scales, a darker gray than Comet’s but functionally not too different.

“Well. Shit,” Sinker said, breaking the awkward silence that had just been Wolffe dripping down into the pool.

“What is going on?” the General snapped, protective anger almost a physical presence around him.

Wolffe gave him a morose look. “I think someone needs to ask the Kaminoans what tweaks they might’ve made, sir.”

“Shit!” Sinker hissed, but Boost was giving the water a speculative look.

“Y’know, we ought to test this a bit more....”

Wolffe groaned and slumped back, trying to ignore the fluttery feeling of what absolutely could not be gills along his ribs.

Worst. Team-building activity. Ever.

~end

[capswritinq]

Morning- Bucky Barnes Short One Shot

Summary: Y/n and Bucky’s morning routine changes after the events of Infinity War

Genre: Fluff in the beginning then ANGST 

Word Count: 1.8k

The sunshine kissed her skin, leaving her exposed shoulder and neck with a golden hue. Her hair was spread out all around her, the strands arranging in random yet perfect arrays. Her eyes were still shut, her breaths still even. She was still induced into a deep slumber, but ever the light sleeper he was, he awoke with the birds. It didn’t help that they kept the window open all night because the weather was finally warming up.

It annoyed the hell out of him, he told her one morning days ago. It seemed like if a pin dropped he would wake up, and the chance of him falling back to sleep were slim to none. So it pissed him off that the momma bird and her chicks just had to start yapping every morning around six, to which he always woke up from.

She laughed and told him that it wasn’t the worst way to be woken up, to which he agreed. The comment drifted his mind to the sounds of steel doors opening or loud thuds on the concrete that he got all too familiar with waking up to during his time under HYDRA. He would take anything compared to that.

He was taken out of his thoughts when he heard her suggest that they move the nest somewhere else.

He quickly shut down her idea, responding that the baby birds couldn’t be moved away from their mother, because he was afraid that the mother wouldn’t be able to find their new location. That the innocent baby birds would be abandoned without a nurturer, and a mother would lose her children. 

She agreed and changed the subject to breakfast, to which he placed a firm kiss on her lips and told her that sounded lovely.

He didn’t understand how she could sleep through the loud chirping every morning. It seemed like mother nature favored her in giving her the ability to be a heavy sleeper. Mother nature graced her with many gifts.

Like the way she was just so effortlessly beautiful. It didn’t matter if she woke up hungover with bags under her eyes. Or if they were going out to some swanky restaurant Tony paid for and she had on her nicest dress. Or if they were cuddling on their small couch in sweats watching another season of Parks and Rec. She was always beautiful, always radiating.

She was his light. She always made him feel safe. He could always look into her eyes and find comfort. She was home.

She stirred from her sleep, groaning softly. Even if she was a heavy sleeper, she could always feel Bucky’s eyes on her, which always seemed to cause a reaction.

“Why do you do that?” she asked, her mouth muffled by the pillow.

“Do what?”

“Stare at me. Especially while I’m trying to sleep. Creepy.” 

He snorted, tilting his head slightly to the side. Adoration displayed on his face. “Why not? You look absolutely radiant.”

Even though her eyes were still closed, she could locate where his bicep was to slap it with her palm. “Fuck off.” 

He chuckled again, knowing that she probably thought of herself to be a mess. She came home late last night from a night out with college friends, and her face hit the pillow before she got to wash off her makeup or shower. 

But she could have green fucking bags under her eyes or giant knots in her hair and Bucky probably would not have given a shit.

He sat up in the bed, leaning his back against the tufted headboard. His hand reached to play with the locks of her hair, twirling pieces around his finger. She hummed.

“I want to make you breakfast this morning. But to be honest I’m still not 100% sure how to use the stove. Why are there weird buttons and shit on it? We used to just turn a knob and a flame would ignite.”

She giggled, her face still in her pillow. Seeming to have woken up a bit more, she turned her head to look at his face. 

“I agree. I miss when technology consisted of tangible objects you could hold in your hand and control. Now everything is floating in the air and holographic and shit”

Placing a kiss on her forehead, he rose from the bed, and put on a pair of sweats that were on the floor right next to his side. His chest was still bare, and his pants hung low on his hips.

“Mmm, I have my meal right here.” She said, blinking at Bucky with a loose smile adorning her features.

Bucky, still slightly uncomfortable with compliments, just blushes and tells her that her joke is dumb before he heads for the kitchen. He thinks about whether he wants to make pancakes or a skillet. He thinks about how lucky he is to have y/n. 

-----------

Bucky was frozen. Standing in Wakanda in what had just been a ravaging battle field, he stood now in silence as his comrades and closest friends withered away into ash. 

Thanos had done it. He had vanished half of the universe’s population with the snap of his finger.

Bucky’s mind instantly drifted to one thing: y/n.

Oh god, what if He had done this to her?

His throat constricted and his stomach twisted at the vile thought. After it seemed like everyone who was destined to be had diminished, and the weight of everything sunk in, he swiftly made his way back to the nearest building, back to wherever the fuck could get him out of there. His eyes looked lost and worried.

“Bucky, what are you-”

“Where is the jet? I need to get-” he paused, his breath quickening as the panic set in his body. “I need to get home.”

Steve instantly understood why Bucky was so urgent in getting back to New York. 

Steve exhaled a breath, as the circumstances and the events that just took place washed over him. The look in his eyes was one of pity and sympathy. He didn’t want to know what it would be like for Bucky to live without y/n.

“C’mon, we’ll go back.”

He placed a hand on the back of his best friend’s back, supporting him. He felt Bucky’s shaking body under his touch. Even over the sound of wails and those in mourning surrounding him, his advanced senses allowed him to hear Bucky’s short, fast breaths and pounding heartbeat.

Searching for the quinjet felt like hours. The plane ride felt like forever.

It landed just outside their home. Living in upstate New York  with virtually no neighbors allowed for open area to safely land. As soon as the bottom of the jet touched the ground Bucky’s feet were running to search for y/n. 

His heart skipped a beat when he noticed a bush and her potted fern were gone, with a small pile of ashes to be all that remained.

The door opened as the technology sensed it was Bucky, and he ran inside without a care of shutting the door. He had to find her. He screamed her name as he entered the home.

Steve waited outside of the quinjet,a sinking feeling in his stomach, as he silently prayed that Bucky finds her safe and sound.

Y/n wasn’t in the living and kitchen area, which is where one first walks in. He then headed for their bedroom, to where he didn’t find her. He checked every room in that wing of the house, his fear growing more and more as every room was found empty.

“No, no, no...” .

The last room was her studio. The door was shut, and he had to take a brief moment before he allowed himself to step foot into the room. As the door creaked open, the sight in front of him chilled him.

Her almost finished painting, a portrait of Bucky, was on the easel in the middle of the room, out looking floor to ceiling windows. Her paint tubes were scattered on the table beside it. Her cup of water was murky as her paintbrush was resting in it. And at the foot of the easel was a pile of hazy brown ashes.

Bucky crumbled. His face contorted, his cheeks stiffened. His lips quivered, and a pool of water collected in his eyes. Steve had come inside to find him here.

Bucky was on his knees as he delicately picked up some of the remains of her. He felt so unbelievably sick. 

His light, his star, was turned into nothing more than a fragile pile of remains. He didn’t even get to hold her one last time, or properly say goodbye.

Steve was horrified. He embraced Bucky, trying to calm him as best as he could. But Bucky had to let this storm out, he needed to feel.

He was trembling in Steve’s arms, the most unhuman and painful sobs coming from his throat. He was utterly broken. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to do without her?”

-----

5:30 A.M. But Bucky was already awake in his bed, as he was never able to fall asleep. How could he, when all he could imagine was how scared she must of been when she started to wither away, how he wasn’t there to hold her, how he didn’t get to see her one last time, how this monster could have done this.

The light didn’t soak through the curtains, as the clouds shaded the sun’s appearance. The place where she used to lay on his right was cold and untouched by her figure. The pillow was puffed and lonely, as her head was not there to hug it. The room was deadly silent.

He should be hearing the feathered Brady Bunch outside his window, chirping wildly. He should be pretending to be annoyed with it as she laughs at him.

Frightened, Bucky goes to the window and peers to the side where the bird’s nest was. Instead of seeing the normal momma bird with her three babies, he only saw the mom bird. Who did not even chirp for her young ones she lost, but instead was staring at the tiny pile of ashes in her nest, as if she was still in shock.

At the sight, Bucky crumbled, his throat becoming sore as he let out a whimper. Tears flowed down his cheeks, his eyes growing red. It reminded him of the conversation he had with her all that time ago.

As the window was still open, how y/n liked it to be, he pulled up the screen and carefully reached for the bird. The mom looked up at Bucky but did not show a sign of fear nor did she fly away. He gently rubbed the back of his index finger on her head, her eyes closing at the touch.

“I’m so sorry.” he whispered, pulling his hand away to cover his mouth from the noise that threatened to escape him.

The bird nuzzled her face into the ashes of her chicks. 

“I’m sorry” he uttered, looking up at the sky to y/n. He closed his eyes as more tears flowed down his face, his heart aching.

Part Two

//// let me know what you think! i’ll probably make a fluffier part two with the events of endgame :)

[labyrinth-runner]

Trust in Me

Part of the A Garden in Gotham Series, Roman Sionis x Reader

Read the rest here.

@misselsbells06​

Not my gif

Every week was a new adventure with Roman as the two of you got closer. After two months of dating, you felt like you were truly getting to know each other. You were comfortable together. It was easy almost, and that thought was enough to give you pause. Surely your doubts from when you’d first started dating couldn’t have been that unfounded? You’d caught dangerous glimpses of temper every now and then underneath the shifting mask of his face. They were quickly squelched, but that didn’t make you notice them any less. Those instances usually were whenever he was around Zsasz, though. When it was just the two of you... he seemed more at ease. A different Roman emerged then. A softer Roman, like a flower that only bloomed under a perfect storm of conditions. His delicate temperament had come as a bit of a shock, especially in contrast to the hard persona he projected with his business. Yet, things were progressing smoothly between the two of you. 

That was... until you were offered a lucrative opportunity courtesy of Bruce Wayne. He had been so impressed with your work at his charity ball that he wanted to see what your vision would be with a new community garden that he wanted to build in the heart of Gotham. You’d jumped at the chance to work with some of the city’s best architects to design what would truly be your version of an Eden in such a hell as Gotham. A place where people could escape to the beauty of a world of your design when the world outside had gotten too dark. You were thrilled. The only downside to the project was how much time it consumed. You found yourself working longer days and nights between running the shop and working on the garden. This meant less time that you had to spend with Roman. 

Roman had taken to spending time in his apartment, surrounded by his various vases of drying flowers when he missed you. That worked well enough to placate him for the first week that you were too busy to see him outside of the shop. After all, he still stopped by every morning. But, then you were given the permit to start planting and then you were at the shop less and less. He’d sent you text messages when you were on lunch, and sometimes he’d have someone bring you dinner if he knew you were working late.

Zsasz was pleased at this development. 

“Boss, if she can’t make time for you, then maybe she’s seeing someone else?” he said one day, leaning over the edge of the booth that Roman was sitting in.

“Nonsense, Zsasz. If she had lost interest, she would have told me. She’s very straightforward in that regard. Besides... we have a connection,” Roman murmured.

“Connections fade, boss,” Zsasz sighed, patting him on the shoulder. 

“Maybe.... maybe it wouldn’t hurt to make sure?” Roman asked.

Zsasz grinned. “No, I think that’s what I would do if my girl stopped spending time with me. I’d have to make sure that there wasn’t some other dude.”

Roman sighed, resolve settling in. Maybe Zsasz was right. Besides, he didn’t think he’d find anything, so what could the harm be? He nodded to Zsasz. “Tomorrow we’ll tail her.”

“I’ll let the driver know.”

The next day, you were meeting with Bruce Wayne for lunch. It felt surreal, but he wanted to know how the garden was progressing, and to go over some changes to the budget. He invited you to a swanky restaurant uptown that you felt very underdressed for, but he didn’t seem to mind. What you didn’t see, was Roman’s car parked across the street. He was watching you intently, hands tightening when your hands brushed over Mr. Wayne’s as you went to take the budget sheet. When lunch was over, Mr. Wayne escorted you to the car, driving with you to the garden. 

Once at the site, you walked him through your vision, showing the little progress that you and Piero, your architect, had made. Mr. Wayne was impressed, and that made you smile. Your dreams were all coming true. You couldn’t wait to tell Roman about your day when you saw him later. You had worked out your schedule to take the night off since you were so far ahead of the game. It was going to be a surprise. Just a quiet night in, the two of you, his favorite pizza, and a movie. The thought was the only thing that had gotten you through the week.

When Mr. Wayne left, Piero picked you up in excitement and spun you around.

“We did it, ma chérie!” he grinned, placing you back down. “I’ll finish installing the fairy lights tonight so that you can show your love all the progress you’ve made next week when the roses come in.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” you smiled, wrapping your arm around his waist as the two of you looked out over the space. You could see it in your head, and it was magnificent. You saw something weird, though. Roman’s car. He was parked across the street, and he was watching you through the window of the car.

“Excuse me,” you murmured, the smile dripping from your face. You made your way across the street, sneaking up behind the car and knocking on the window.

Roman jumped, eyes flicking up to yours. “O-oh! Hello, darling.”

“Roman, what are you doing here?” you asked in confusion.

“Oh, I was just in the area...” he trailed off.

“You could’ve come to say hi,” you replied.

“You seemed busy,” he said in disgust.

It clicked for you in that moment. Roman Sionis was jealous. 

“There’s nothing between me and Piero,” you said adamantly.

“Oh, so that’s his name? What about Wayne? The two of you seemed fairly chummy at lunch,” he shot back.

Lunch? How did he know about lunch? Your eyes widened in shock. “You followed me?” you gasped. You were hurt. 

“Well, of course I followed you. I haven’t seen you in so long. I had to know,” he replied, not seeing the problem.

“You’re unbelievable, Roman!” You shouted. “I bet you’re not even sorry about it,” you replied in disgust. You shook your head and started to walk away.

“Of course I’m not sorry!” he shouted back. “Why would I be? I was making sure you weren’t doing anything behind my back.”

You stiffened in the middle of the sidewalk and turned back to him. “ ‘Why would I be?’” you repeated in anger. “Roman, you betrayed my trust! If you trusted me, then you would know that i would never do anything behind your back that would hurt you.”

“I do trust you,” Roman replied, getting out of the car to walk towards you.

“No, Roman, you don’t. If you trusted me, then you wouldn’t have followed me around,” you replied sadly. 

He reached out for you. “Darling...”

“No,” you murmured, stepping back from him. “Roman, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

“What are you saying?” he asked.

“I’m saying... I think we should take a break,” you said, trying to keep your voice from wavering.

“Darling, you can’t really mean that.”

“Good bye, Roman,” you replied, returning back to work. You had a garden to build.

Roman watched dumbfounded as you left. No one ever walked away from Roman Sionis. He got in the car and drove back home. He looked at all the vases in his apartment. He wanted to smash them, but they were works of art. He couldn’t do that.

“Who does she think she is, Zsasz?” he asked angrily. “No one walks away from Roman Sionis! No one!”

His words were angry, but in truth he was just masking the hurt.

“No one does if they want to live,” Zsasz grinned.

He looked at Zsasz in horror. “I’m not going to kill her, Zsasz.”

“R-right, boss,” he replied. “Forget I said it.”

“I just... I don’t understand it. I do trust her. I wouldn’t date her if I didn’t. Yet, she threw the relationship back in my face,” he groaned in frustration. “I’m so tired of being rejected, Zsasz! I’m sick of it. She wants to know why I followed her? It’s because of this. It’s because when you let someone in, they can ruin you, so you have to make sure they don’t ruin you!”

He was in a rage now, throwing the pillows off his sofa. He wanted to destroy something like you had destroyed your relationship. But... no, you hadn’t destroyed anything. He had, and that thought was enough to drive him mad. 

“Boss,” Zsasz sighed, trying to calm him.

“Leave me, Zsasz. I want to be alone,” he muttered.

“Alright,” he replied through gritted teeth before leaving.

Roman looked around at all the flowers surrounding him. He thought back to when shrunken heads stood in their place. A smirk crossed his face as he thought about how much nicer the flowers were. Colorful. His smirk quickly slipped off his face as he realized that he wouldn’t have any more bouquets by you. He’d lose those colors. 

“Fuck. I’ve really fucking fucked up this time,” he groaned, throwing a pillow across the room. It knocked into the vase on the desk with your first bouquet in it. A pit of anxiety rose in him as he watched it teeter, but relief flooded him when it stabilized. He’d have to win you back somehow. 

He devised a plan. If he stopped by every day, you’d see how much he missed you. Except... he didn’t see you there. He’d see your assistants, and they’d tell him that they’d tell you that he’d stopped by. When that didn’t work, he tried to take his mind off things and move on, he threw himself into work at the club, but whenever he glimpsed someone that looked vaguely like you, he’d kick everyone out so that he could mope in his solitude.

Nothing was getting done. If anything, it was somehow worse than when he dated you. Zsasz was growing frustrated with him. He didn’t like you, but he wanted Roman to dump you, not for you to dump Roman. If Roman dumped you, then he wouldn’t be acting like this. He’d be acting like Roman Sionis, on top of his world, and not at the mercy of some bitch. Zsasz couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

“Boss, you have to get your shit together,” Zsasz sighed one morning.

“I have my shit together, Zsasz,” he replied absentmindedly.

“No, boss, ya don’t. If anything, you have your shits scattered in the wind and blowing around being pushed by a fan.”

“Ew.”

“Exactly.”

“Fine. What do you propose I do then?” he asked, humoring him.

“Win her back.”

“I tried that,” Roman sighed in frustration.

“You didn’t try hard enough.”

“I went to the shop, I tried to buy flowers,” Roman said in exasperation.

“You talked your language, boss. Maybe... you should try talking hers?”

“You mean... flowers?” 

Zsasz nodded.

“Zsasz, that’s not... that’s not a bad idea,” Roman murmured. He ran over to the computer and started to type in some searches. “Zsasz, order me some Freesias and an arbutus flower.”

“What the hell is an arbutus flower?”

“Just order them,” he barked. “I’m going to go clean myself up.”

Roman looked down at the pajamas he’d been wearing for two days in disgust. Shit scattered in the wind, indeed. He went to take a shower and get dressed while Zsasz picked up the flowers that Roman wanted. When he finished, he played around with the flowers to make them look pretty. Then, he tied them with a ribbon and went out the door.

“Do you want me to bring the car around?”

“No, Zsasz, I think I’m going to walk.”

Roman practiced his speech in his head on his way to the park.

You were standing in the middle of the garden, leaning on your shovel. Since you didn’t need to see Roman, you spent your nights gardening in the dark, illuminated by the fairy lights. It was to your liking, though, because you were able to see how the night blooming flowers were looking in the garden. Everyone else had gone home by now, and it was just you. You admired your work, listening to the soft bubbling of the water fountain that recycled water to water the plants. That was how he found you.

Roman’s heart leapt as he watched you bathed in the warm glow of the fairy lights. His eyes took in the garden and all the work you had put into the space. It was beautiful in his eyes. Almost as beautiful as you. He tucked the flowers behind his back.

“Darling, this looks incredible,” he replied.

You jumped, turning towards him. “Roman, I thought-”

“Please... let me say my piece?” 

You nodded, holding your hand up to gesture for him to continue.

“I was wrong to follow you,” he stated. “I should have trusted you, and I’m sorry. I’m just... I’m not used to you. You’re so different than anyone else I’ve met. You’re honest, loyal... Quite frankly, you’re so much more than I deserve and that fact isn’t lost on me. In fact, it makes me so terrified of losing you that I went to great lengths to hold onto you, and by doing that I pushed you away. I should have believed in you, and in us. Darling, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me and take me back?”

Your shaky resolve started to crumble as you watched him there. He was vulnerable, showing up in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. You’d never seen him like this. Then, you noticed something hiding behind his back.

“Roman, what’s behind your back?” you asked curiously.

“A peace offering,” he said with a sheepish smile. He brandished the flowers shyly. The stems were all different lengths, but the colors were beautiful. You took them gently, running your hands over the soft petals.

“Are you trying to tell me something?” you asked hopefully as you looked down at the flowers.

“Perhaps,” he smiled, “Unless they say something bad, in which case I just thought they were pretty. I did have to use the internet.”

A smile grew on your face as you looked down at the bundle. “You trust me,” you smiled, touching the freesias. Then, your brow furrowed as you looked at the other, scanning through your memory. “Arbutus?” you asked him, a funny look on your face as you looked up at him.

“Yes,” he murmured.

Arbutus was a rare flower to find in a bouquet these days, which is why you wanted to make sure that it was deliberate. When he confirmed that it was, your resolve disappeared. You let go of the shovel and went over to him, taking his face in your hand to kiss him. His arms circled your waist, bringing you flush against him as he kissed you harder. After pulling back for air, you rested your foreheads together.

“Roman, I’ve missed you,” you murmured.

“I’ve missed you, too, darling. I promise you, I will never make the mistake of not trusting you again,” he said sincerely. “I’m so sorry that my own actions hurt you.”

“I forgive you, Roman,” you replied.

“You’re my star, darling. I should have know better than this,” he murmured.

“What do you mean?” you asked in amusement.

“You can’t always see the stars, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t there,” he clarified.

“Like a blossom in the night,” you smirked. “You can’t always see when they bloom, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t bloom.”

He kissed your forehead and held you tightly. “You’ll always be my blossom in the night.”

“Do you really like my garden?” you asked, resting your head against his chest.

“I do. A garden in Gotham. I think its wonderful,” he smiled.