#the nature of being 15 is that the only way you can interact with the guy you're homoerotically obsessed with

[bloodysparklez]

"rivalry".png

[stunies]

ᘏ AUTHOR’S NOTE — hihi welcome to my 2024 kinktober! this a repost since i moved blogs, but a couple prompts have been added.

TO BE TAGGED, please leave a comment & mention which ones you’d like to be tagged in. or! you can fill out this form. either one is fine! however, you must be 18+ and have your age visible anywhere on your blog in order to interact. make sure to take a quick peek at the warnings too! happy (early) october ^^

ᘏ FANDOMS & INFO — wind breaker, my hero academia, honkai star rail, haikyuu, and blue lock too. there are fifteen drabbles and two lengthy fics included = seventeen posts for october! (｀∇ ´) ψ

OCTOBER 1 - OVERSTIMULATION

KAJI REN X F!READER ﾉ 1112 words ﾉ the game? three bottles of flavored lube. kaji’s turn to guess. and you? you just have to lay there and let him get a proper taste first.

ᘏ ft. cunninglingus, blindfolded (kaji), fingering, overstimulation

OCTOBER 3 - CUCKOLDING

HAYATO SUO X AFAB!READER ﾉ 1096 words ﾉ FICS4GAZA ﾉ sakura doesn’t think he’s ever held his phone in his non-dominant hand… until tonight.

ᘏ ft. consensual recording, cuckolding (sakura), + masturbation, overstimulation, very light choking, creampie, mention of toys

OCTOBER 5 - MASK KINK

ENDO YAMATO X F!READER ﾉ 1189 words ﾉ endo thought you were joking about masks being hot, but … if you really like them so much, then maybe he’ll put on a show just for you.

ᘏ ft. mask kink, very consensual fear play, both degradation & praise

OCTOBER 7 - SUCCUBUS?!

SAKURA HARUKA X SUCCUBUS!F!READER ﾉ 1126 words ﾉ there’s no better way to lose your virginity than to a succubus, right? do those even exist? he was skeptical before he met you.

ᘏ ft. virginity loss (both), aphrodisiac, creampie

OCTOBER 9 - PREDATOR/PREY

GALLAGHER (HSR) X F!READER ﾉ 1667 words ﾉ delivering this basket to your grandmother sounds easy enough, but they didn’t warn you about whatever seems to be lurking at the end ﾉ in other words.. you act out the fairytale: little red riding hood

ᘏ ft. consensual noncon (cnc), predator / prey dynamics, muffling (his glove), oral (receiving) overstimulation, fingering + squirting

OCTOBER 11 - PET PLAY

KIRYU MITSUKI X F!READER ﾉ 902 words ﾉ you think he just likes seeing you embarrassed at this point. tonight, it’s worse than ever before, and he’s loving every single second of it.

ᘏ ft. pet play, toys (anal plug), praise, pet names, double stuffed

OCTOBER 13 - DRY HUMPING

NESS (BLLK) X F!READER! ﾉ 923 words ﾉ it’s not allowed. he knows this. but he can’t help that it gets a little harder not to claim you as his whenever you come back for more.

ᘏ ft. dry humping to wall sex, dirty talk, marking, possessiveness, forbidden relationship, mentions of fingering, face sitting, creampies

OCTOBER 15 - IN UNIFORM

KUROO TETSUROU (HQ) X F!READER ﾉ 1190 words ﾉ there’s about five minutes left on the clock before your coworker comes back.

ᘏ ft. maid cafe, exhibitionism, time crunch for kuroo, squirting

OCTOBER 17 - APHRODISIACS

DAN HENG (HSR) X F!READER ﾉ 1469 words ﾉ it’s only natural that you’d try to play it off, especially when he had already warned you about this ahead of time. your bad, you’ll admit. unfortunately for you though, this aphrodisiac is one of the strongest, and it won’t be going away anytime soon.

ᘏ ft. aphrodisiacs, mutual pining, wall sex, squirting from putting it in

OCTOBER 19 - GHOSTS!

GHOST! HAYATO SUO X F!READER ﾉ 742 words ﾉ SFW ﾉ you seem to be the only one who doesn’t mind the ghost that trails behind you. your friends want to hire someone to get rid of him, but you seem to be weirdly defensive over something that’s supposed to be haunting you.

ᘏ ft. protective suo (this time in a cute way), ghosts, etc

OCTOBER 21 - SCARY MOVIE

ENDO YAMATO X F!READER ﾉ 841 words ﾉ SFW ﾉ you’ve had some bad ideas, but this one has to be your worst. halloween night, sitting side by side with the man who has it in his dna to tease you, rank #1 for scariest movies in existence playing on the big TV, and your friends. the friends you’ve somehow managed to convince (through a dragged out lie) that there’s absolutely nothing in the world that can scare you.

ᘏ ft. horror movies, reader is a bit scared, + endo comfort !!

OCTOBER 23 - YANDERE

YANDERE!UMEMIYA HAJIME X F!READER ﾉ 838 words ﾉ no one would dare hurt umemiya’s girl. they shouldn’t. they wouldn’t dare. but after some time.. he thinks he should give them another reminder. it wouldn’t hurt.

ᘏ ft. yandere, creampies, overstimulation, praise, size kink, marking, soft possessiveness, reader wears a skirt, catcalling (not from ume)

OCTOBER 25 - CAMGIRL

HAYATO SUO X F!READER ﾉ 3520 words ﾉ you always do what the highest tipper says, but looks like that’s backfired! “bring someone to fuck you raw on your next stream” but oh. you don’t have a boyfriend, do you? so the second best option would be to swallow your pride and ask one of your friends.

ᘏ ft. streaming (audience), camgirl! reader, dry humping, creampie, overstimulation, squirting, virginity loss (reader), teasing, tba

OCTOBER 27 - TOYS

TAKIISHI CHIKA X F!READER! 937 words ﾉ a fun dinner with your friends? unfortunately, the group is one chair short, so it’s a given that the couple shares. takiishi wonders which will give it away first: the buzzing between your legs, or the faces you’re making? you seem to be doing an alright job (much to his dismay) but one push should do it.

ᘏ ft. exhibitionism (hinted that endo knows), mentions of fingering & potential threesome, toy usage, reader wears a skirt, risk

OCTOBER 29 - DEALS

DABI (MHA) X HERO!F!READER ﾉ 890 words ﾉ what happens when your curiosity takes you to the league of villains’ hideout? luckily enough, there’s only one of them there to greet you— and the world seems kind enough to let you off with a deal. fuck him once to guarantee his silence, or so you thought.

ᘏ ft. tw dubcon, forced orgasms, fear play, mentions of murder, etc

OCTOBER 30 - MACHINES

MR. RECA (HSR) X F!READER! ?? words ﾉ your voice is a bit too quiet for films. he says to consider this a vocal warm-up— just some personalized training he’s given you to combat your shyness on set, but you think otherwise.

ᘏ ft. fucking machine (…), recording, squirting, blindfolds, tba

OCTOBER 31 - ROOMMATES

HOUSEKEEPING! — TOGAME JO X F!READER! ﾉ 7387 words ﾉ you don’t realize how loud you are, do you? or are the walls just paper thin? his patience seems to also be running thin, but he’s always thought of himself as someone who tries to be a pretty decent guy most of the time. a decent enough guy that doesn’t fantasize about fucking choji’s childhood friend raw, at the very least.

ᘏ ft. masturbation (kind of caught), size difference, thigh fucking, creampie, semi-possessive togame glimpse at the end, tba

UPDATE (NOV 12): ktober on hold for my current event! this kinktober will be completed. 100%. i have the drafts- just needs editing. thank you for your patience <3

[lila-lou]

✨Stubborn Heat✨

Summary: Jensen is exhausted and coming down with a fever during a busy convention, but his stubbornness won’t let him rest—not until he’s had his way with you.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, language

Word Count: 4458

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As Jensen walks into the green room, his eyes are heavy and slightly red. He sniffs a few times, texting you to inquire about your whereabouts. But before he can send his messages, you return from the toilet. The two of you are alone, since everyone else is occupied giving autographs or on stage. Jensen doesn’t look particularly good right now.

"Hey", you say softly, noticing the fatigue in his eyes.

"Hey", Jensen replies, his voice sounding tired. "I thought you might've gotten lost".

You give him a sympathetic smile. "Nope, just had to pee".

Jensen nods, but there's a hint of sadness in his eyes. It's your first convention together, and despite being officially together for a year now, it's been a rough journey since his divorce from Danneel became official six months ago. The weight of the past still lingers between you, adding an extra layer of complexity to your relationship.

As Jensen lets himself plop down on the couch, he holds out his hand, signaling for you to sit with him. His forehead rests on his palm, and you can tell he's really tired. You take a seat next to him, feeling the weight of his exhaustion.

Gently, he wraps his big arms around you, pulling you close against him. You lean into his embrace, feeling the warmth and comfort of his presence. Despite the fatigue and the challenges you've faced together, being in each other's arms feels like home.

"You okay?", you ask softly, running your fingers through his hair.

"Yeah", he murmurs, his voice muffled against your shoulder. "Just… tired".

You nod in understanding, offering him silent support as you hold each other in the quiet of the green room.

As Jensen holds you close, you mumble softly, "You really don't look okay, Jay".

He lets out a weary chuckle, but it lacks its usual warmth. "Just a long day, baby. Nothing I can't handle".

You're not convinced, though. Carefully, you place your palm against his forehead. It's a bit warm, but not alarmingly so. Still, concern flickers in your eyes as you gaze at him.

"I think you might be coming down with something", you remark, furrowing your brow.

Jensen lets out another sniff, and you can tell he's trying to brush off your concern. "I'm fine, really. Just need some rest".

But you know him well enough to recognize when he's pushing himself too hard.

You had about 15 minutes until Jensen went back on stage. You stand next to a security guard, not wanting to disturb either the fans or Jared and Jensen on stage. From your vantage point, you watch Jensen plaster on a smile for the audience. Despite his fatigue, he's a professional, and he knows how to put on a show for his fans.

As he interacts with the audience, answering questions and sharing anecdotes, you can't help but admire his dedication. But behind the façade, you can still see the weariness in his eyes, the slight slump in his posture.

As the panel goes on, Jensen's voice cracks slightly now and then, but he overplays it perfectly, making it seem like part of his natural charm. The fans are none the wiser, laughing and cheering along with his jokes.

Once the panel ends, Jensen barely has a moment to catch his breath before he has to head to the photo op. The schedule is running a bit behind, leaving him with no opportunity to see you or take a little break. You can see the annoyance etched on his face as he rushes past you, giving you a quick, apologetic glance.

You manage to catch his hand for a brief moment. "Hang in there", you whisper, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

He nods, a tired but grateful smile flickering across his face. "I will. See you soon".

As Jensen moves towards the photo op area, you watch him summon the energy to engage with the fans, each smile and pose a testament to his professionalism. Yet, you can't shake the worry gnawing at you, knowing he desperately needs a moment to rest and recuperate. You resolve to be there for him as soon as his commitments allow, ready to offer the comfort and support he needs.

It was about 8 in the evening when Jensen finally entered the green room with the rest of his colleagues. He looked even more tired than before, dark circles under his eyes and his shoulders slumped. You could see the exhaustion etched into every line of his face.

Without even giving you a glance, he grumbled a simple, “Let’s go”.

You felt a pang of concern but nodded, gathering your things quickly.

While Jensen gave the fans one last smile and wave, you walked more between the bodyguards and assistants than beside him, since the two of you wanted to keep your attendance this weekend low-key. The crowd’s cheers and flashes of cameras felt distant as you made your way through the throng of people.

As you reached the exit, Jensen finally turned to you, his eyes softening slightly. “Sorry for being grumpy”, he murmured, his voice barely audible over the noise.

You gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. Let’s just get you home”.

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. Jensen leaned his head against the window, eyes closed, as if savoring the brief respite.

When you finally arrived at the hotel, you guided Jensen to your room, helping him out of his jacket and shoes. He collapsed onto the bed with a heavy sigh, clearly relieved to be away from the chaos.

You knew he didn’t want to be grumpy with you, but you couldn’t hide your disappointment about today. It was your first convention being the new girl at his side, and you saw him less than the fans did. And then he gave you the grumpiness while the fans got the smiles and charm.

As you moved around the room, tidying up and getting things ready for the night, you couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt. You understood the demands of his job, but it didn’t make it any easier to handle the disconnect.

Jensen, sensing your unease, opened his eyes and looked at you. “Hey”, he said softly. “I know today was rough. I’m sorry I took it out on you”.

You paused, turning to face him. “I know you’re tired, Jensen. I just… I guess I hoped we’d get to spend a bit more time together. It’s hard seeing you give everything to everyone else and having nothing left for us”.

He sighed deeply, sitting up slightly.

With a soft sigh, you felt a pang of guilt for expressing your frustrations. You knew Jensen's heart was in the right place, even if his actions sometimes fell short of your expectations.

Suddenly, Jensen's expression softened, and he reached out his hand to you. "C'mere", he said softly, waving to himself lazily.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure if you should accept his invitation. But his warm gaze melted away your reservations, and you slowly walked towards him, feeling a mix of relief and anticipation.

As you reached him, Jensen pulled you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you tightly. Finally being close to him again, you nestled into his embrace, feeling the tension melt away.

With his arms tight around your waist, Jensen's lips brushed against your jaw and ear, his murmurs sending shivers down your spine. "You know, sweetheart", he whispered, "there's something special I've been saving just for you. How would you like it if I showed you something that only you're allowed to get from me?".

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, anticipation coursing through your veins. "I'd love that", you whispered back, a smile tugging at your lips.

Jensen smirked, his eyes glinting mischievously as he pulled himself away slightly.

"How about", he murmured, his voice low and husky, "you get out of that little dress of yours?".

A flush spread across your cheeks at his suggestion, but excitement bubbled in your chest. With a coy smile, you leaned in closer, letting your fingers trace lightly along the collar of his shirt.

"Only if you promise to make it worth my while", you teased, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jensen's grin widened, a playful sparkle dancing in his eyes. "Oh, sweetheart, I'll make it more than worth your while", he replied, his voice laced with promise.

You pulled your dress over your head, revealing nothing underneath but a delicate lace thong. Jensen's breath caught in his throat as he watched, his gaze raking over your exposed skin with hunger.

A deep groan escaped his lips as he took in the sight of your hardened nipples, the desire in his eyes intensifying. Without a word, he reached out to pull you close, his hands trailing along the curves of your body as he kissed you hungrily.

With a sense of urgency, you gently pushed Jensen farther towards the headpiece of the bed, determined to take care of him. As you started to unbutton his dress shirt, Jensen watched you with heavy-lidded eyes, a mixture of desire and exhaustion swirling in their depths.

But as your fingers brushed against his skin, you couldn’t ignore the heat radiating from his body. His chest practically glowed underneath your fingertips, and you could feel the fever simmering beneath the surface.

Despite his efforts to overplay it, Jensen was definitely sick. The realization sent a pang of worry through you.

Jensen sensing your hesitation, rolled his eyes and growled softly, a mix of frustration and determination crossing his features. In one swift move, he turned you over, overplaying the dizziness that accompanied the motion. Now, he hovered above you, his hardness pressing insistently against your still-covered core.

“Jensen, you’re not well”, you demanded, concern lacing your voice.

His eyes darkened with a mixture of defiance and desire as he leaned down, his breath hot against your ear. “I’m gonna fucking show you how pretty well I am”, he mumbled, his voice rough but full of intent.

Despite the heat radiating from his fevered body, his hands moved with practiced ease, sliding down your sides, eliciting shivers of anticipation. The room seemed to pulse with the intensity of the moment, a mix of passion and worry intertwining as Jensen sought to prove his strength and you struggled to temper your concern.

With a soft sigh, you stopped resisting, knowing exactly that Jensen would get his way like always. You were putty in his hands, and he knew it. The moment your resistance melted away, Jensen's lips found their way to your jaw, kissing it down to your neck.

His touch was both urgent and tender, each kiss sending shivers down your spine. As he continued his trail of kisses, his hands roamed over your body, heightening your senses and deepening your desire.

"That's it", he murmured against your skin, his voice a mix of satisfaction and raw need. "Just let go, baby".

You arched into him, your body responding to his every touch. Despite the worry gnawing at the back of your mind, you couldn't deny the electricity between you, the way he made you feel like no one else could.

Jensen's hands slid down to your thong, his fingers hooking under the delicate fabric and slowly pulling it down. The anticipation built with every movement, your breath coming faster as you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours.

"Jay", you whispered, your voice trembling with a mix of need and concern. "Promise me you'll rest after this".

He paused, lifting his head to look into your eyes. The fevered intensity in his gaze softened slightly, replaced by a glimmer of affection. "I promise", he replied, his voice sincere. "But right now, I need you".

His words sent a fresh wave of desire through you, and you reached up to pull him closer, your lips meeting in a searing kiss.

Shortly after, you pushed him back, forcing him to sit on the bed, and crawled above him, your movements deliberate and commanding. His eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and anticipation reflecting in their depths.

“We’re doing it my way, then”, you ordered, your voice firm yet sultry. “Meaning I do the work”.

Jensen’s breath hitched as he watched you take control. You reached for his belt, fingers deftly working to undo it. The sound of the leather sliding through the loops filled the room, adding to the tension building between you.

His hands rested on your hips, his grip firm but allowing you to take the lead. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, his fevered state only heightening the urgency of the moment.

With his belt undone, you moved to unbutton his jeans, your hands brushing against the hard outline of his arousal. Jensen let out a low moan, his head falling back slightly as he watched you with heavy-lidded eyes.

Jensen tried hard to focus, but his sickness clouded his mind. Still, as you undressed him, his erection stood hard and proud, showing his desire.

Despite his fever, Jensen responded eagerly to your touch.

You gave him a few pumps, feeling his hardness pulse beneath your touch. Then, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth of his body beneath you. With his head resting against the headpiece of the bed, Jensen watched your every move.

With a knowing smile, Jensen brushed his thumb over your lips. Without hesitation, you eagerly licked his thumb, coating it with saliva.

He then brought his wet thumb to your clit, which was inches above his hard erection, rubbing your sensitive nub lazily. Each stroke sent a jolt of pleasure coursing through your body.

You moaned softly. Jensen's eyes darkened with desire as he continued to tease you, his movements deliberate and tantalizing.

He grabbed the base of his dick, positioning it just at the entrance of your slick folds. With a slow, deliberate motion, he spread your arousal with the hot head of his cock, dragging it through your slick slit, up to your swollen clit.

You gasped as he teased your most sensitive spot, the friction driving you to the edge of ecstasy.

Jensen's touch was both gentle and firm, his movements expertly calculated to drive you insane. With each stroke, you felt yourself growing closer to the edge, the tension building to a fever pitch.

With a throaty voice, Jensen leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, "Sit".

As you obeyed his command, slowly lowering yourself onto him, you felt the familiar pang of pain as you stretched to accommodate his size. But like always, you couldn't take him completely, the fullness almost overwhelming.

Jensen's hands gripped your hips firmly, his touch both possessive and reassuring. "That's it", he murmured, his voice husky with desire. "Take me, baby".

You gasped at his words, the pleasure and pain mingling together in a heady rush. With each inch that disappeared inside you, the tension in the air grew thicker.

Jensen groaned deeply, the sound vibrating through his chest as he let his head fall back, overwhelmed by the sensation of you surrounding him. His grip on your hips tightened, almost bruising, urging you to move, but you needed a moment to ease the pain.

Feeling his urgency, you placed a hand on his chest, gently pushing him back onto the bed. “Give me a moment”, you whispered, your voice strained with discomfort.

Feeling your discomfort, Jensen's usually attentive nature struggled to break through the fog of his sickness. His mind was clouded, his thoughts sluggish and muddled, making it difficult for him to focus on anything other than the overwhelming sensation of you surrounding him.

Usually, he would have made sure you were alright, his concern for your well-being paramount in his mind. But in that moment, his body was beyond weak, drained of energy by the fever raging within him. So instead of speaking, he simply nodded in response to your request, his eyes falling shut every now and then as he fought to keep himself present.

As you took a moment to ease the pain, Jensen let out a soft sigh, the tension in his body slowly dissipating as he allowed himself to relax. Despite the discomfort and the overwhelming fatigue that weighed heavily on him, he couldn't deny the spark of desire that still burned within him, fueled by the raw intimacy of the moment.

You started to move your hips, the slow, deliberate motion sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you. Your hands steadied yourself on his biceps, feeling the strength beneath your touch, while Jensen held onto your hips lazily.

As you found your rhythm, the tension in the air grew thicker, the anticipation building with each thrust. Jensen's eyes fluttered open, his gaze locking with yours in a heated stare.

"You feel so good", he groaned, his voice thick with desire.

You moaned in response, the sensation of him inside you overwhelming your senses. The room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you entwined in a moment of raw intimacy.

But as you felt the heat radiating from Jensen's body, concern gnawed at the edges of your mind. Carefully, you placed your palm against his forehead, your breath hitching as you confirmed just how hot he was.

Sensing your worry, Jensen weakly opened his eyes, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of defiance and vulnerability. Before you could speak, he let out a low growl, his voice hoarse with exertion.

"Don't even fucking think about it", he demanded, his words laced with stubborn determination.

You hesitated, torn between your concern for Jensen's well-being and your desire to continue. But as you looked into his eyes, you saw the fierce resolve that burned within him, the same determination that had carried him through countless challenges before.

With a sigh, you relented, knowing that Jensen wouldn't back down until he had proven his strength.

Jensen's hips met yours with a forceful thrust, a reminder to stay present in the moment.

You winced at the depth of his thrust, feeling the pressure build within you as you struggled to maintain your balance against his chest.

"Jensen", you gasped, the intensity of the sensation overwhelming. "Easy".

But Jensen's response was a low growl, his grip on your hips tightening as he urged you to keep moving. "Don't stop", he demanded, his voice rough with desire. "Keep going".

While you moved your hips, Jensen leaned forward, pressing soft, heated kisses along your collarbone. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, holding you close as if he could draw strength from your connection. You could feel his breath hot and heavy against your skin, mingling with the fever sweat that dampened his forehead.

Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers threading through the soft strands and pulling gently, urging him to continue. With each movement, you took him in deeper, the sensation sending shivers of pleasure through both of you.

"Jensen", you breathed, your voice a mixture of concern and desire, "you're burning up".

He groaned against your neck, his forehead pressing against your skin. "Don't care", he murmured, his voice strained but determined. "Need you…need this".

The raw need in his voice sent a thrill through you. You moved together, the rhythm building with each thrust, the heat between you growing more intense.

"Just…stay with me", Jensen whispered, his voice rough and filled with emotion. "Don't stop".

Your heart ached with a mixture of love and worry, but you nodded, determined to give him what he needed.

With his hot lips kissing your skin, you clenched around him, the sensation driving him deeper inside you. Goosebumps rose on your skin where his arms held you tightly, the contrast between his fevered body and your own adding to the intensity of the moment.

Your breathing grew heavier, each gasp and moan escaping your lips as you felt yourself nearing climax.

“Jensen”, you moaned, your voice filled with both desire and urgency.

Hearing his name, Jensen pressed you tighter against himself, his head still weakly buried in the crook of your neck. His breath was hot and ragged against your skin, mingling with the sweat that dampened both of your bodies. He held you as if you were his anchor, grounding him amidst the fever and exhaustion.

“Come for me”, he murmured into your neck, his voice rough and commanding despite his weakened state.

The raw need in his voice pushed you over the edge. With a final, shuddering gasp, you let go, your climax washing over you in powerful waves. Your body tightened around him, drawing a deep groan from Jensen as he felt you pulse around him.

As you reached the peak of your pleasure, your nails dug into Jensen’s shoulders, the sensation sending a jolt of pain and pleasure through him. He hissed against your neck, the sound muffled by the heat of the moment.

Feeling you clenching so tightly around him, Jensen couldn’t hold back any longer. With a throaty groan, he released deep inside you, his body tensing as he spilled himself into you.

“Fuck, Y/N”, he moaned, his voice hoarse and exhausted, his breath coming in ragged pants. He buried his face against your neck, seeking solace in the warmth of your embrace.

For a moment, the two of you stayed like that, lost in the aftermath of your shared release.

Jensen could barely catch his breath at the intensity of his climax and the strong dizziness that followed. His body felt even weaker now as he held onto you. With each ragged breath, he tried to regain his composure, the waves of exhaustion washing over him.

You felt his dick slowly softening inside you. With a tender touch, you ran your fingers through his hair, soothing him with your touch.

"Are you okay?", you whispered softly, concern lacing your voice.

Jensen nodded weakly, his forehead still pressed against your neck. "Yeah", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just…need a moment".

You nodded, holding him close as you both caught your breath.

After a few seconds, you gently pushed him to lay back, brushing a tender kiss over his cheek. “I’m going to get some medicine for you”, you murmured softly, your voice filled with concern.

As you carefully got up from the bed, you moved with gentle care, not wanting to disturb him further. Making your way to the bathroom, you took a moment to clean up and pull on some clothes.

As you returned from the pharmacy, your heart sank at the sight of Jensen emerging from the bathroom, his figure clad only in boxers, still sweating and clearly exhausted. His eyes were half-open, glassy, and red, a clear sign of his illness. With a heavy sigh, you set the medicine down on the bedside table and approached him with concern etched on your face.

"Hey, Jensen", you said softly, reaching out to brush a gentle hand over his arm. "Got some medicine for you".

Jensen's eyes flickered with recognition as he glanced at you, his expression a mix of fatigue and gratitude. "Already?", he murmured, his voice hoarse and strained. He made his way back to the bed, his muscles flexing with each step.

You nodded, offering him a sympathetic smile. "Yeah", you replied gently. "Let's get you feeling better, okay? You look like you could use some rest".

With a weary nod, Jensen settled back onto the bed, his exhaustion evident in every line of his body. As you handed him the medicine and a glass of water, you couldn't help but feel a pang of worry for him. But you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on providing him with the comfort and care he needed in that moment.

After taking the medicine, Jensen leaned back, his eyes closed in a futile attempt to find some relief from his discomfort. “I feel like shit”, he grumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. A quiet cough escaped him, punctuating his words with a harsh reminder of his illness.

You couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy as you watched him struggle. “I know", you murmured softly.

Jensen let out a tired sigh, his frustration evident in every line of his body. “Tomorrow’s gonna be hell with the second day of the convention”, he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

You laid your palm carefully against his forehead again, sighing as it still felt hot to the touch.

Heading to the minibar, you grabbed a bottle of water and returned to his side. "Here, drink up", you instructed gently, holding the bottle out to him.

Jensen nodded weakly, accepting the water. He took a few sips, the cool liquid providing some relief to his parched throat.

As he drank, you quickly shed your clothes. With a soft sigh, you settled back onto the bed beside him.

As Jensen looked towards you, his gaze filled with longing, you could see the silent question in his eyes. Why wouldn't you cuddle against him? He weakly brushed his arm up the pillow, silently inviting you to slip into your usual place beside him.

Feeling a surge of warmth in your heart, you couldn't resist his silent plea. With a soft smile, you shifted closer to him, sliding into the space beside him on the bed. His arm wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you close against his warm, fevered body.

With Jensen's steady heartbeat as your lullaby, you closed your eyes, letting the exhaustion of the day finally catch up with you.

A sense of relaxation washed over him as he felt the coolness of your body against his fevered skin. Your face nestled against his chest, you wrapped one arm around his torso, seeking comfort and solace in his embrace.

Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to bask in the warmth and security of being in Jensen's arms. Despite his sickness and occasional grumpiness, being with him felt like coming home.

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A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

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[ariichive]

feeling touch

k. sakusa

in which sakusa's first relationship comes with gentle surprises and a lasting sense of comfort. fluff | first relationship | mentions of assault | gn reader :) | established relationship | timeskip

sakusa was good at reading people. it was a skill that came with being a good volleyball player such as himself. knowing where to hit a spike, finding the perfect spot for a service ace, and understanding his teammates.

the ability even followed him outside of the court. sakusa found himself observing people everywhere. the couple on the train; the girl had a nervous look on her face as she clutched her stomach, often stealing glances at the man busy on his phone. pregnant. sakusa remembers thinking to himself. the same day, he watched a stray dog on the busy streets of japan circling a busy food vendor.

it was no surprise when the dog snatched food from the owners hands and ran off into an alley way, the curses of the owner blending in to the surrounding noise.

yes; this was all natural for him but not for most people. at least, to him in particular.

people did not understand kiyoomi sakusa.

he think it's his whole demeanor. sure, he might not be the most friendly looking, but he was still human with human normal reactions. he remembers one day after a dominant win against a damn good team.

interviewers flocked to him, fans were everywhere; it was overwhelming. there was nothing more he wanted than to go home, where he could relax after a long match and wait for you to come home from work.

home. he kept repeating in his head, making his way through the crowd. he answered questions simply if they were asked. he was almost through the seemingly never-ending pool of people, when a hand circled around his wrist. sakusa immediately turned around, yanking his wrist out their hand with swiftness. with a glare, he took a step back. a girl with a big number 15 on her shirt. oh, a fan.

"h-hi," the girl spoke in a high-pitched voice. like a dog whistle. sakusa nodded his head in a greeting, eagerly turning around to continue on his way. he wasn't the nicest when it came to fans, but if his fans were really genuine they would understand he did not appreciate being touched.

clearly, this girl was not so genuine.

she grabbed his wrist, again, this time with a bit more force. "w-wait!" sakusa sighed but stopped nonetheless knowing this could go on forever. she squealed when he stopped; his eye twitching. "can we take a picture? please?" sakusa couldn't deny there was a sparkle in her eyes and he feels as if he didn't take a picture her dreams would be absolutely crushed. while he wasn't big on social interactions, he wasn't exactly a monster. "yes, make it quick. please, do not touch me." he managed to mutter out.

the girl quickly stood next to him, a centimeter of distance between them as she whipped out her phone to take a selfie with him next to her. she pressed the button, a 3 second timer starting.

3...

2..

1.

as soon as the timer hit 1, the girl quickly pressed her lips against his cheek.

fear and disgust immediately ran through his body as he shoved the girl, not caring that she ended up on the ground. "never come near me again, you disgusting shit." sakusa meant every word, and he probably would have said more if he wasn't so focused on getting out. pushing throw the crowd, he barely paid attention to the concern looks of bokuto and hinata. if he would've looked back, he'd witness atsumu angrily snatching the phone from the crazed fan.

home. he had to get home.

the journey home was a quick one, he had too much occupying his mind. as soon as he stepped into his safe space, sakusa made a beeline to the shower. a shivering feeling of disgust and guilt taking over him. with the amount of reporters around, you were bound to see the news. he can't believe another persons lips were on him; he could only imagine your reaction. would you be angry? disappointed? disgusted?

sakusa scrubbed harder at his skin.

when he was done in the shower, he still didn't feel clean enough. he had half the mind to go back in, let the burning hot water consume him as a whole. he would have, if it wasn't for the sound of the front door opening. his heartbeat picked up pace, he quickly dried himself and threw on a shirt and sweats. it'll be okay. he reassured himself as he stepped out into the open space of your shared residence.

as he made eye contact with you, he felt a pinch of fear crawl up his spine when you didn't hug him as usual or give him a kiss as a greeting.

you knew.

he felt an apology about to slip out his lips, the guilt weighing on his heart.

"i'm so sorry, omi... atsumu told me what happened."

you said an apology before him, leaving sakusa stunned. why were you apologizing?

noticing his lack of response, you continued. "atsumu told me what happened... i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i understand if you want space to collect yourself, i won't overstep any boundaries."

you understood how dire the situation was; noting how important it was to keep sakusa's feelings in mind. he looked shaken up when you arrived home, so you thought it was best to not add to his discomfort; hence the lack of physical greeting.

sakusa sighed, "..you don't have to apologize. it was my-"

"don't you dare say it was your fault!" you took a hesitant step towards him, and when he didn't move away, you hugged the tall outside hitter; he melted into your arms.

"the only person to blame is that crazy fan, it had nothing to do with you. nobody deserves that to happen to them."

sakusa bathed in the comfort of your words, finally finding the energy to hug you back.

"you're right, love. i'm glad to be home with you."

yeah, you knew this was his way of saying i love you. "i love you too! now let's find something to eat, you must be hungry after that game. ugh, i wish i could've gone! your highlights are trending, the ladies at work..."

he listened to you chatter away, a big smile present on his face.

sakusa wasn't hard to understand, it just took the right people to understand him.

bonus

"whaddya gonna do with this photo?" atsumu stared at the phone of sakusa's fangirl, a look of disgust and hatred taking form. he quickly deleted it as he went to her recently deleted album to ensure it would be gone permanently. he wasn't surprised to see her lock screen was a picture of sakusa, or the number of pictures she had of him in her photos. "oh you're not right in the head," he chuckled mockingly as he stared down at the girl, who tried to get up only to be pushed back down by bokuto. "oops, didn't see you right there." bokuto said almost robotically; everyone knew he was lying as he scratched his neck in boredom.

hinata eventually made his way over. "oooh, a fan?" to any onlooker, it would look like the hyper-orange-haired male had genuine, pure curiosity. but his teammates knew.

"yeah, a fan. huge fan of omi omi, hundreds of pictures of him in her gallery." atsumu said as he slung an arm around hinata's shoulders. he found pleasure in the embarrassed look on her face. she stuttered out lame excuses he didn't bother listening to. "hey, kou, shoyo, since she's such a big fan, why don't we show her an up-close play?"

"hell yeah!" bokuto cheered as he high fives hinata. the obsessed fan could only watch in horror as her phone was tossed to hinata, who bumped it to atsumu, who then set it towards bokuto.

bokuto, feeling a strong sense of defending his friend and teammate, spiked her phone into the floor with a loud cracking sound that echoed throughout the stadium. meian turned a blind eye to his team's antics.

atsumu took out his own phone, taking a selfie. he made sure the crying girl on the ground hovering over her broken phone was in the background.

[sent to (name) 6:48pm]

[lixiesfreckless]

mind games | p. js

➸ synopsis: a little playful banter and psychoanalysis never hurt anybody.

➸ starring: park jisung x reader

➸ word count: 1.3k

➸ general content: college au, house party shenanigans, kissing, sungie is exactly the smooth man I know he could be if he didn't get flustered every 0.2 secs-

➸ warnings: alcohol consumption

➸ rating: 15+

➸ author’s note: I've literally had this in the drafts for MONTHS sorry for keeping park jisung content from tumblr, that should be a crime punishable by firing squad-

♫ this fic has a soundtrack! it's empty cups by charlie puth put it on pUT IT ON

You don't know what's making you more drunk; the alcohol or the man in front of you.

You've been watching his dark hooded eyes gaze at you this whole conversation, something that should feel casual, but with no one else on the couch, feels more intimate than you would have expected. And try as you might, you can't ignore the deep timbre of his voice, almost reminding you of a siren in how you can barely focus on anything else. Even the loud music of the party seems to fade when your eyes naturally trace the sound to the curve of his mouth, occasionally curling on one side when he catches your eyes wandering lower.

Damn. You don't remember being this much of a lightweight.

“-but enough about my major,” he sighs, rubbing his finger absentmindedly along the trim of the couch, a gesture that definitely should not have your insides twisting into a coil. “I am becoming increasingly curious as to what yours might be.” The tilt of his lips gives away the mock sincerity he's using, a sarcastic stab to the dull nature of collegiate small talk. You fight the urge to grin, feeling like a silly teenage girl. It was only one shot of vodka, what the hell?

“Guess.” An unoriginal response, but he leans back and strokes an imaginary beard, looking to the ceiling as if he was consulting the gods of career choices.

After a moment, he snaps his fingers and points at you.

“Culinary arts?”

“Close. Psychology.”

He bursts out laughing at your blatant lie, and you don't think you've ever heard a sound more disarming.

There is no way it was just vodka in your red solo cup.

“Have you been psychoanalyzing me?” He says with a glint in his eyes as he narrows them.

“I can't help it,” you laugh.

“Tell me.” His voice was so clear despite it being barely above a whisper.

“You just want to know how you're perceived by a stranger, don't you?”

His jaw drops open in awe. “You really are a psych major, huh?” You nod your head and let a laugh slip out again.

“So what have you gathered about me then?” He leans closer again, quieting his voice even more just in case anyone could hear him over the raging bass of the speakers.

“Well for one, you’re quiet,” you begin, and you wait for him to open his mouth(probably to argue that that’s obvious) to continue, “but it’s not because you’re shy. You’re reserved, probably choosing to keep to yourself in public situations because you don’t crave social interaction.”

His tongue pushes the inside of his cheek, fighting a smile, and you have to digest the butterflies in your stomach to keep going.

“And you’re observant, which is pretty common amongst introverted…?” you wait for him to confirm your guess with a nod, “Right. Introverted reserved guys that get caught people watching at parties.”

“I was not!” He argues, scrunching his nose in defiance.

“How’d you know what was in my cup then?”

“Oh that?” He nods his head over to the strawberry blonde that has the kitchen on lock, entertaining practically every girl within earshot of him. “Jaemin makes the same drink for every new girl he meets.”

You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. “A vodka cranberry?”

“With a splash of lime,” he adds, rolling his eyes. “He insists it elevates the drink.”

“Does he know it’s a house party?"

“Shh, he doesn’t need to know that.”

You’re both laughing, with heads so close that if it weren’t for the decibel levels of the party, you’d be sweating buckets at his proximity.

“You’re good though,” he says, sighing, and when he sees your confused stare he elaborates, “your psychoanalysis, I mean. That was pretty spot on.” You shake your head, waving him off with your free hand.

“That was nothing– I’d rather see you try,” you subtly challenge, raising your cup back to your lips.

“Oh yeah?”

You raise your eyebrows, as if you were daring him to try and figure you out.

He leans back from you, now gazing at you thoughtfully as he crosses his arms across his chest. Immediately you feel warm, clearly unprepared for having this much attention on you, let alone his. Your outfit was nothing unusual for a college party– just a short dress you felt confident in paired with a shrug that matched your sneakers –and you smirk to yourself knowing that the only piece of your personality he could derive from your clothes was well out of sight.

“I think you have a lot of secrets,” he says suddenly, meeting your eyes and leaning in close again. There was a lilt to his voice; was he teasing?

“Doesn’t everyone?” You ask, attempting to get him to elaborate.

“No, you’re probably a vault now that I think about it,” he chuckles, eyes wandering down to your neck as he eyes the locket necklace hanging just above your collarbones. “And assuming you want to go into a career where you help people, you’re always giving advice and listening to others, but don’t bother bothering others with your problems.”

He hit the nail on the head so hard you’re practically drooling.

“Who are you, seriously,” you laugh, feeling ridiculously exposed.

“Park Jisung, creative writing,” he says, swirling his hands and giving a mock bow, and you playfully slap his hand away. “How’s your back?”

“Sorry?”

“Your back. You know, doesn’t it hurt from carrying the weight of your friends’ trauma?”

When was the last time you laughed this much? “Not nearly as much as writer’s block.”

He scoffs, holding a hand against his hoodie and leaning back as if you’ve delivered a fatal blow. Which you probably did, to his ego. “So she plays dirty. I should have seen that coming.”

“Careful, I know how to weaponize words.”

“Well that makes two of us,” he muses, leaning close enough so his voice is clear again. “I’m also good at telling people what they wanna hear.”

“Is that so?” You bend down and leave your solo cup on the floor, no longer interested in its contents. “What do you think I wanna hear then?”

He pauses, probably weighing the risk of voicing his next thought.

“Mmmm…something like how from the moment I saw you at the bar, I knew I couldn’t leave this party without your number,” he says, fighting a smirk as he lifts a hand to his face to hide his bashful expression.

“Oh really,” you laugh, mentally thanking the low light in the room for hiding the blush coloring your cheeks. He wasn’t wrong though, you won’t let him leave without your digits in his phone.

Your gaze flickers down to his pouty lips, hoping he’ll pick up what you’re putting down. ”Anything else?”

“I think…” he says slowly, leaning in just enough so his intentions are clear as day, “you want me to say that I wanna try that vodka cranberry.”

“With lime,” you add, eyelids dropping as his face inches closer to yours. “The lime is essential.”

“Right. Can’t forget that.”

He smiles right when his lips touch yours, and the action has your skin nearly bursting into flames before he finally commits to the kiss.

Pillowy and soft, his kiss is slow and sensual against your lips, and immediately you feel so dizzy that you brace a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself, which unintentionally pulls him closer. The second kiss is deeper as a result, and the buzz in your fingertips is not from the alcohol, you’re sure.

Pulling away with a smile on his lips, Jisung watches your reaction carefully, and you hope that you don't look half as flustered as you feel with his face still close to yours.

“Riddle me this, psych major,” he says, eyes flickering around your face, “can you tell me what I’m thinking right now?”

You don’t even have to think twice; following his gaze was enough of an indication.

Somehow, you find it in yourself to giggle amongst the tension. “You want to get out of here?”

“Well,” he grins, tilting his head towards the door and offering a hand to you, “since you’re asking…”

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧

[libraincarnate]

💄 astrology notes: 15 (mature edition) 💄

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a collection of some of my observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experiences. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. lastly, minors do not interact - mature readers only - explicit content! enjoy 💋

x mercury in retrograde: these people may struggle with verbal expression so it’s not that they don’t feel pleasure or that they aren’t turned on, but it's that they might struggle with voicing it and they may feel uncomfortable letting out a genuine moan. so they either don’t say too much or they fake moan often if they’re uncomfortable with the silence.

x neptune in the 8th house: neptune brings imagination so having it in the 8th house can indicate someone who day dreams about sex often. they’re able to create these mental visuals of intense & passionate sex scenarios which they can translate from their minds and to the bedroom in real life. they can portray that neptune creativity via sex, bringing an element of surprise & constant sex appeal. to me this placement reminds of that alluring energy that sirens have. they spark feelings of attraction in other people while fully dressed, but they also have people imagining what they look like nude or what sex with them would be like.

x lilith in cancer: may not want to have kids (or at least not biological ones) but they love it when someone c*ms in them or vice versa, or on their boobs. aside from boob jobs they may have breastfeeding/suckling kinks. overall, they like the chest area whether it be on a man or woman. could also have a c*m fetish or be into c*m play. 

it sounds kind of contradicting cause if you c*m in a woman she can become pregnant, and the primary function of the female breast is to provide nutrition to a baby. but with this placement there’s an emphasis on the desire to enjoy these things sexually, all without actually having to become pregnant/have a kid or become a parent.

while they may not like being very emotional themselves, having their partner open up to them emotionally during sex or hearing them say “i love you” could be such an ego boost for them. there’s a desire to be both wanted & needed. they could be big on aftercare as well, but especially if they’re the ones receiving it. this could include cuddling while c*ck warming.

again, being emotional may feel uncomfortable for these natives but they may attract clingy partners because they’re still sensitive & empathetic, it’s just suppressed. they have a natural energy that can make others feel comfortable & safe. they feel like home. might not be into casual sex but if so, casual sex or friends w/ benefits may be complicated because it’s almost inevitable that feelings will get involved whether it be them, the other person, or both. but some people with this placement may use these traits to be emotionally manipulative in order to get what they want, and this includes sex. it’s like their form of enchantment.

x libra mars: libras in general can play the submissive role well, but with mars here it’s like a strength, something they can twist and use to their advantage. they can easily get into the role of being cute, ditzy, and flirty, but in a way that turns you on. teasing you yet giving you exactly what you want. they can manipulate you to make you feel like you’re in control, but it’s only happening cause they’re letting you and they know you like it but they like it too so their submissiveness is like a form of power here. they also like getting spanked too, so they probably like being naughty/bratty so that they can get “punished”. could like being called a good girl/boy. oh, and compliment them on their body or the way they do something that turns you on, they’ll love that.

they like dominance but they still want respect. yes they can be people pleasers & they want to please you in bed as well, but i don’t think they’re the types to enjoy/tolerate getting slapped in the face or anything they classify as too much, disrespectful, or rough/extreme.

but guys with this placement may like women that can dominate them in bed. the types to be dressed in super tight black latex, being gagged, having to beg, etc. 

x pisces: could be into somnophilia/sexsomnia kinks, basically wanting to or having sex with someone who’s asleep. but of course this is done with consent and i’m not referring to any actual sexual/sleep disorders. maybe it feels like a fantasy/dream in a way; slowly waking up and going from a state of unconsciousness and sleepiness to a state of sexual pleasure, then falling asleep again filled with bliss … and maybe something else. 

& like taurus, pisces love to sleep. but there’s also the sense of being so relaxed and vulnerable in such a state yet your partner still desires you like that and you trust them enough to give them consent. pisces might also feel drunk or high during sex or after they climax, or they giggle a lot.

x mars in the 3rd house: probably had some sexual encounters with their neighbors or even had sex at school. could be considered the neighborhood hottie & may also receive a lot of male attention at school, like classmates commenting on their body.

x mercury-asteroid kiss (8267) / mercury-mars aspects: could be the type to kiss and tell or talk about their sexual experiences without much hesitation. this may be done intentionally because the topic of sex interests them and it’s something they like to discuss, or they do so accidentally by word vomiting. could also be the type of person who easily moves from one person to the next.

x taurus: they have a thing for hickeys on the neck. taurus lives through all their senses and really connects to the physical body and all things tangible/material. taurus rules the neck area so there’s already a natural attraction to that body part & it’s often a highly erogenous area for them as well. 

scorpios are usually considered the sexual and possessive type, but taurus shares these traits with their sister sign. & so hickeys can be a way of taurus displaying their dominance, claiming you as theirs, or marking their territory. but it might not be viewed as “intense” which is usually the case with scorpio’s actions, but it makes sense when you think about the contrast between their rulers venus & pluto.

x 2nd house: i’d say prominent 2nd house placements in general are really good at using their mouths. this applies to simply kissing but oral sex as well. if you have the sun here, this could be where you shine when it comes to sex and your partner may consider you the best at kissing/oral out of everyone they’ve been with. it’s like a natural talent. but with lilith, mars, or pluto here i think they’d also leave someone speechless or in awe lol. with venus it may be something they love to do, like one of if not their favorite part about sex. having venus, lilith, pluto, or a stellium here could indicate an oral fixation so they might be into c*ck warming with their mouth. but i think lilith might be more into giving oral rather than receiving it.

x aries & gemini: these two together remind me of cat and mouse. aries likes that challenge, they like to chase & therefore play the role of a cat well. gemini likes to tempt & tease and could really play the role of a mouse. for this reason, i think an aries having sex with a gemini would be bomb. the type where things heat up in an instant. at some point, aries won’t be able to handle all the games and teasing from gemini and aries will want to capture and dominate/conquer.

gemini displays their power mentally while aries does so physically. gem knows which buttons to push to send aries over the edge but aries is strategic too so once aries has gemini where they want them, it’s over. the playful teasing quickly builds & leads into something hot and passionate, perhaps a bit rough or fast. aries loses their mind & the ever-racing mind of gemini goes blank, but in a good way of course.

x capricorn: for caps, i think edging would be their thing. either as something they enjoy or because they’re just good at it. with edging you have to consider timing & delays and capricorns are no strangers to that. they’re also controlling so getting to decide when someone c*ms and being the one to make that happen is like a power trip for them. 

and because they like to be the ones in control, i think they’d want to be the ones doing the edging instead of it being done to them because they may not like the idea of repeatedly letting someone have that power over them.

virgos are known to be of service of others & libras are known to be people pleasers, but i can see capricorns combining these two traits in the bedroom. not in a submissive way but in way that displays their skills and competence, showing that they can and know how to make you c*m, and doing so feels like a reward or some sort of an achievement for them. and even if they’re the ones edging someone else, they still get turned on from the theme of delayed gratification.

- omg i feel like i'm corrupting the masses, please forgive me. <3

if you read this until the end, i hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you.

[sunny-sourzii]

☆ hello!! Welcome to my page, friendo!! :] ☆

More basic about me:

🩵 I'm a big fan of horror!! Though I don't draw it much

🍋 my birthday is August 28th !

🩵 I'm 15 !

🍋 I like the idea of being an electrician, stage crew worker, or some job that involves nature!! I'm a big nature and robotics nerd, and i love learning about it

🩵 fnaf is the only fandom I'm active in, but I do like poppy playtime. I've been in the fnaf fandom as long as I can remember

🍋 if you ever want to message me on discord or DMs, don't feel afraid to do so!!

VENT BLOG: @evil-sunny-sourzii

TAGS:

Art: #sourzii art

Asks: #sourzii answers

Random/shitposts: #sun yapping

My OCs: #sourzii OC

My cat (son): #sourzii's unnamed cat

Cosmic Teachers AU: #cosmic teachers!au

Announcements: #sourzii announcements

And my discord server!! A hangout server for artists, writers, ect.!! 🃏🌈🎈

❗💥RULES BELOW!!💥❗

-------------------------------------

RULES ON MY PAGE!!

- ABSOLUTELY NO NSFW!! I don't want any NSFW accounts following me or interacting with me. I am a minor and don't want those kinds of accounts interacting with me

- this is NOT a TSAMS fanart page. I am not in the TSAMS fandom and none of my art is reflecting it. I don't mind TSAMS fans here as long as they're respectful to me and my sun x moon ship. And do not tag my art as TSAMS!!!

- if you don't like my content and don't want to see it, please dont make mean comments. Just block me and move on. I don't like people being mean for no reason.

- along with NSFW, I also obviously don't want any p3d0s, r@cists, z00s, pr0shippers and any other weirdos lurking around on my page

But now that that's out of the way. Hows your day/night pooks

[blond3ang3l]

Toji is your daughter’s dad. You two had separated a while ago due to conflicting schedules in your work and you feeling that he wasn’t listening to you enough. Both of you were on very good terms even talking without the conversation being about your child. Imagine your surprise when you both get called to your child’s school saying you need to come to the principals office asap.

Reader is a tattoo artist!

You were surprised when your assistant said you had a call in the middle of your tattoo. You brought the phone up to your ear as you continued to work on your client. “can I help you?”

Toji’s voice crackled over the phone* “Oh um, hey..” It was clearly hard for him to find it in him to talk to you, and he sounded like he was forcing himself to talk to you. His tone sounded a bit annoyed like he was forcing himself to talk to you.

“Jiji? What’s up, I’m at the shop right now? Did you need something?”

There was a long pause. It was clear he wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how to broach the subject. Finally, he forced the words out of his mouth “There’s something going on with our kid, and I wanted to tell you.”

You stopped my tattoo and your face hardened: “what’s wrong with Lyla? Is she okay? Do I need to leave?”

Toji tried to soften his tone with a laugh, though it didn’t seem to take well. He knew you were probably more than a little upset that something was wrong with Lys, your one and only child. He did his best to be calm and reassuring like he had always been on the phone with you. “No, no no... Lylas fine... But... There’s something going on at school with her that we need to address.”

“Dios Mio, yeah fuck okay im on my way.”

Toji chuckled lightly at your reply knowing it was probably something you had said over and over again, even at home with Lys. He liked this about you, your consistency with certain phrases, it was oddly charming. “Okay, I’ll see you soon.” He quickly replies back to you, his tone sounding a bit sheepish when it came to your quick reply.

You hung up and headed out to my car. Within 15 minutes you arrived at the school. You took off your ink covered hoodie leaving you in just a black tee and black jeans. You grabbed your phone and wallet and made your way inside the school.

Inside the principals office was toji sat with his legs crossed staring out the window watching the world go by. When you walked in he looked up and met your gaze. His face quickly softened when he met your eyes. Your beauty always made him weak. You had been the most gorgeous person to exist in his eyes and your looks only seemed to grow exponentially.

“What’s going on?” You asked while walking over Ony was sitting with you guys daughter Lyla in front of the principal. You came behind Lyla and kissed her forehead. “you okay baby?”

Toji eyes widened slightly seeing the ease of your interactions with Lyla. This was something he noticed about you when she was younger, your ease with showing your affection to her was something he had never been able to do so naturally. Your love for her had always been apparent in the way she responded to you and the way you responded back. The principal spoke up interrupting your interaction. “I need you both to sit down.

You nodded and sat in the seat next to Toji. “right so what happened exactly?”

Before the principal could respond Toji interrupted. he was angry and he wanted to say something. It seemed like he was trying to defend Lyla. He was always protective of her, especially with the two of you having divorced and her being left with only one parent for the majority of her life. “Whatever it is that may be going on our daughter is not and will not be at fault and I will not tolerate any attempt to frame her as such. So either tell me right now what exactly is the issue or we’ll be leaving.”

“Toji relax, we Atleast need to know what happened. Please, continue.”

Toji glanced at the principal before looking back at you. He saw the concern in your eyes and knew that he had to let the principal speak. The principal cleared the throat. “Your child has allegedly been seen kissing a male student in the restrooms. It was claimed to have been a few times.”

“Kissing a boy?” You turned your head to face your daughter. “ly is this true?”

Lys looked up from her lap and gave you a nod, a look of embarrassment and shame plastered on her face as if you were the last person she thought she would be admitting this to.

You sighed and turned back around. “Well is there a punishment or anything or can we just take her home?”

The principals face softened when she spoke. She clearly was trying to put Lyla at ease by being the gentlelest she could be with the situation. “Unfortunately, it is against school policy to partake in any acts of... Intimacy or affection here so your daughter will have to have a weeks suspension for her actions.”

“Right, we’ll have a talk with her. I apologize for this mess.”

The principal shrugged slightly while a small, sympathetic smile crossed her face. She gave you both a nod and a brief goodbye before excusing herself to her office. Once she walked out of the room and toji turned to you once more. You could see his anger still slightly lingering beneath the surface, though your gaze seemed to have calmed him down somewhat.

You led Lyla out with toji behind you. Once y’all left you couldn’t help but chuckle, wrapping your arm around Lyla’s shoulder* “so kissing a boy huh?”

Lys felt her heartbeat quicken. She could feel herself slightly overheating as she blushed hard. She looked around you at the ground hoping to avoid your gaze for as long as she could. She was so embarrassed to admit the truth to you.* “Y.. Yeah...” Her voice was barely above a whisper and she was afraid to raise it a decibel for fear you might punish her for what she had done.

“You and this boy dating?”

Lys was so embarrassed by you calling out the truth that her face had only gotten redder. She could feel her heartbeat pounding heavily in her chest, but she couldn’t look away from you to avoid the question. “Y-yeah... His name is Max...” She answered while still gazing at the floor.

“Lyla you have a boyfriend now, you should have told us this is great news! isn’t this great ony, our little girls growing up.” i chuckled as we exited the school.

Lys couldn’t help but feel her lips curl into a wide smile. She was so glad that you had reacted so positively to her revelation, it had been weighing heavily on her mind for a while now how her dating might be taken by you and toji. Though, she was surprised by Tojis lack of participation in the celebration. She had expected him to at least chime in some words of encouragement for her, however, he had remained completely silent through your comment.

“Don’t worry about him I’ll talk to him later.” You whispered to her. “so tell us about this max boy.” You said happily as y’all made you guys way through the parking lot and into your car.

Lys’s expression immediately warmed, she was so thankful that you were willing to let tojis demeanor slide for the good news of her dating. She looked up at you with the excitement of a child and answered the question with glee. “Oh! He’s so handsome, he’s also really sweet and kind. And... He just made me feel really safe and happy.” Lys began blushing again, it was obvious she quite liked him a lot.

“Aww how sweet. How long have you two been secretly dating? I do wish you would have told us though, this is huge news, your first boyfriend. Atleast im hoping.”

*Lys gave you a quick smile when you brought up the subject of it seeming like you were hoping he’d be her first. She laughed and nodded her head to confirm your thought* “Yeah, he’s my first boyfriend... We’ve been secretly dating for about 5 months. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how you’d react or if I should have even been dating while in high school.”

“You’re sixteen it’s about time you started dating.” I pulled up to the house and parked the car. “Lyla go ahead in the house im gonna talk to your dad real quick.”

Lys nodded and ran into the house, shutting the door behind her. Once she was gone you and Toji shared a brief moment of silence before toji finally decided to speak to you once more. You could see anger still lingering on his face even though his tone remained calm “I cannot believe you didn’t yell at her for doing this.”

“It was just kissing. It’s not anything serious in my opinion.”

*That comment only served to annoy Toji further. He saw you completely brushing aside the kissing situation as if it were nothing, something he couldn’t understand. He was trying to be calm, really he was, but he found it incredibly hard to do so with the way you felt on the situation* “How can you not care that she was doing this under our noses?”

“She’s sixteen and she was kissing her boyfriend, kissing is just something small. Yes I get she shouldn’t have done it in school and I am upset she hid it but ony you’re not the easiest person to come to with those types of things. I’m just glad she wasnt doing something extreme.

Toji hated hearing what you had to say. It made him feel like he wasn’t a good father and hurt his pride. Your words got a rise out of him, and he was starting to get more and more upset the longer you spoke. “But to keep something like that a secret from the both of us? She’s been sneaking around behind our backs for weeks.”

“Which I can understand you’re upset about. We just need to set boundaries with her about this and her little relationship she has now.”

Toji paused, the words you spoke made him think for a while. He hated that you were right for the most part. You were right, her kissing Max was nowhere near as bad as she could’ve been doing, and setting a clear boundary was a great first step to handling the situation. However, there was still one issue that bugged him in all of this. “Do you not feel a bit betrayed that she would keep something like this from us? I feel as though the both of us aren’t as close to her as I thought.”

“She’s young Jiji and if I remember correctly she’s doing the exact same thing me and you did when we were together at first. All kids hide stuff, don’t take it personally.”

Your words caught him off guard. The fact that she was doing the exact same thing that you both had done when you were younger was something he hadn't considered. She was a teenager and of course teenagers were going to be a bit secretive with their parents. Your words helped him calm down and not take it so personally. He looked back to you with a more relaxed expression. “I guess you’re right. I just... I don’t know..."

You rubbed his arm to soothe him. “she’s gonna keep secrets from us but she still does come to us most of the time. She’s just figuring things out as she grows up. That doesn’t mean she won’t need you Jiji. You’re getting in your head.” Even if you weren’t together anymore you still helped toji whenever he struggled mentally. He had a bad past but he was good to you and your daughter. And you was always going to be good to him.

Tojis eyes softened when you rubbed his arm. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. You had always been there to support him, even after all this time. He could always appreciate how much you were there for him even after the divorce. The words you spoke to him made him feel better about himself as if he wasn’t as bad a father as he thought he was. He opened his eyes and stared into those pretty brown eyes of yours once more. “Thank you...”

You smiled softly as my gaze met his. “always.”

Maybe he would be able to come around..

[neoameba]

It is necessary to escape the routine sometimes!

F. Toji x Ftm! Reader

Warnings: This is a trans man/boy centered post, but you (fem, gn, and non-trans) can still safely interact with the post. Toji and reader were not a romantic couple before reader turned 18. It's more for comfort, made especially to give those silly smiles.

Summary: Naturally, every rich man needs a heir. And it’s obvious that it wouldn’t be any different for someone who works directly in the Japanese government. That’s where the problem lies. Being the vice president of a country and doing so much for the poorest and most needy people, while taking away unnecessary privileges from rich people, makes his head a target and his family as well.

When [Name] was born, his mother fell ill due to blood loss, and soon died from complications in the surgery that was supposed to save her (it is important to mention that, after her death, a bounty on the woman’s head was announced in the deepest areas of the internet, It is not known whether the mission was accepted). This generated extreme fear in the man and, as a result, he ended up becoming extremely protective of the inheritance that the woman in his life left for him.

All of this only got worse when [Name] revealed he was a trans boy at 15 years old. The reason why the vice president of Japan was even more scared (thankfully) is not because he is trans, but because of what people would do if he found out. Think about it, if people already wish the boy’s death just because he was his son, imagine if they found out that [Name] is a trans boy?

Of course, the man did the impossible to erase [Name’s] old image, to pass him off as a cis boy. Still, it’s difficult to stop the rumor from spreading.

That’s where Toji Fushiguro comes in.

It's curious to think that Toji, the sorcerer killer, could actually be tasked with protecting someone. But that’s exactly what happened, [Name]’s father actually put Toji as the boy’s bodyguard. And this went on for 6 years.

“Hey! Can you stop pulling me, I have legs and they are very functional!”

[Name] says, only to continue being pulled towards some place unknown to him thus far. He didn’t understand anything, and Toji didn’t want to explain what he was doing either.

Finally, the two stop in front of a house. It wasn’t ugly, it just looked like it wasn’t well looked after from the outside.

“Huh? Is this your house?”

“Yes, and I want to introduce you to my son... What was his name...?"

Toji says the last part quietly, but it still gets a low laugh from [Name], who thinks the older man was just joking. Even he knew Megumi's name because Toji said it himself. And after all, who would forget their own child’s name?

As soon as the tallest one opens the door to the house, [Name] is faced with a heart-wrenching sight. There was Toji Fushiguro’s son, eating snacks for breakfast in complete silence and alone, in na environment clearly not prepared for a child

As soon as [Name] sees this, a slap is landed on the head of the man next to him, who moans softly in pain. The slap was weak, but Toji didn’t want to be so mean and say he didn’t feel any pain from the impact.

“How dare you leave a poor little child in these unsanitary conditions?!”

“It’s not my fault if I have to spend the whole day with you. Besides, the kid knows his way around, you see?”

Megumi turns around, looking at his father with disinterest, but then looking at the boy next to him. This time, he seemed more interested, and got up to walk towards the boy.

“... You’re the guy he talks about so much, right? Cool. Nice to meet you.”

Little Fushiguro says, surprising [Name]. It’s a lot of education for just one child (especially for a child who is the son of a man like Toji).

“Nice to meet you too! You're very polite, right?"

When [Name] goes to shake the boy’s hand, he realizes that although it may not seem like it, Toji probably takes care of the boy, as he shows no signs of being thin beyond what is healthy.

"Tell me something, little Megumi...Does Toji take care of you or just leave you to your own devices?"

Megumi shakes [Name]'s hand, and shrugs, indicating that it was a little of both. Obviously Toji pays for food and a few other things, but Megumi is the one who cleans the house and already acts like an adult.

"I'm very busy, if you must know."

"That doesn't give you the right to leave him to his own devices."

"You're really just here to judge, ugh."

Before [Name] could counter argue, he chose to remain silent. He holds Megumi's hand and prepares to tidy up the house and make good, dignified food, since it seems unlikely that Megumi has eaten anything healthy these past few weeks.

"Megumi, let's tidy up this whole house. And you Toji, we'll talk about it later."

Toji seemed to be both unsatisfied and happy. Unsatisfied because he couldn't imagine being scolded like that, and happy to see his son and his boyfriend getting along so well. He sits on the couch as he watches the two boys tidy up the house (and no, he doesn't plan on helping).

And speaking of a boyfriend... He would never have imagined that he would date someone of the same gender as him. He never even considered being with a man, but destiny can always surprise. Everything has been so peaceful after he and [Name] started dating, he can just sit on a couch and watch a good television show while cuddling with his boyfriend. [Name] actually managed to get Toji over the loss of his wife, which is a miracle.

While he is absorbed in his own thoughts, Megumi and [Name] finish tidying everything up. This made for a good few hours, and by the end, both the youngest and oldest boy were dead tired. Megumi goes to his own room and throws himself on the bed, while [Name] throws himself into Toji's lap.

"... That was so tiring... You could have helped!"

"You didn't call me, I didn't think I needed to help with anything."

The man says, as he gently squeezes one of [Name]'s cheeks with his left hand, and with his right hand he squeezes his waist. The smell of cleaning products on [Name]'s clothes were incredibly good, and Toji didn't even remember buying them. He buries his face in the crook of the boy's neck, eliciting a laugh from [Name].

"Of course we needed your help! But it's okay, the food is up to you, go make it soon because your son is hungry. And try to take good care of him, unless you want me to slap you again."

[Name] says, as he gets off Toji's lap. He wanted Toji to make the food so that at least Megumi could eat something his father lovingly made. Well, he still doesn't know that Toji is terrible at cooking.

And everything goes like this. [Name] going to take a shower, only to almost faint when he felt big hands on his waist, Toji burning the food and [Name] having to redo everything together with Megumi, Megumi accidentally revealing that he likes watching Barbie movies, and in the end, everyone watching Barbie in the living room.

Sounds like a perfect day, don't you think?

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 7

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, dealer!ellie, LOSER!ELLIE, cursing, ANGST, use of marijuana and alcohol, brief mention of death, descriptions of a weapon (it's just ellie's switchblade), sexual speech and content, brief mention of violence, brief description of homophobia, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 3.5k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-fi if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

“Ellie, seriously, calm down. Also, can you hand me the fucking joint already?” 

Dina watches as Ellie paces back and forth across the living room of the apartment Ellie shared with Jesse. She’d come back early from her Electrical Engineering Design class after silently storming out a mere 15 minutes into the lecture. She had her Particle Physics class in less than an hour, but she had very little intention of attending. 

She’d even bailed on making a quick stop at Ruston Coffee in order to reclaim the jacket she’d lent to Daniela. She had four unread texts from her, but she ignored them. 

“Dude, I just—” Ellie starts. 

“I know,” Dina replies. “But can you blame her?” 

Ellie doesn’t reply, instead angrily groaning as she plops down next to Dina on the couch. She hands Dina the joint, which was already half-burnt. 

“God, at least ash it first,” Dina complains, taking it from her and flicking the dusty remains into an ashtray on the coffee table. “Anyway, what the fuck is she supposed to do? Not move on from you?” 

“No, but—” 

“You’re only this mad because Abby Anderson’s the one she was seeing before you,” Dina says before taking a hit of the joint. “I mean, you’d still be irritated if it was someone else. But now, your ego is a little bruised.” 

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” Ellie scoffs. “And she and I weren’t seeing each other, we—” 

“It’s been two fucking years. You need to stop saying that shit.” Dina interrupts, getting exasperated. 

“We literally weren’t—” 

“Who the fuck cares, Ellie?”

“D—” Ellie attempts, but Dina continues. 

“She was in love with you, and you were so fucking in love with her. And don’t try to pull that shit with me, saying that you weren’t in love with her.” Dina adds, seeing that Ellie was about to interrupt once more. “Everyone saw it, and everyone knew it. Fuck, even Joel saw it, and it’s Joel.” 

Ellie says nothing, choosing to stare intensely at her fists. They were turning white from how hard she was clenching them in agitation. 

It had been so long since she’d seen your smile, the honest and genuine kind that you used to flash at her countless times. She hadn’t seen it since before your cousin Rafael passed away. The way it’d adorned your face so naturally just now, it broke something in her today the moment she glanced your way. Something that she’d hastily patched up after you cut her off completely. And for Abby Anderson to be the reason for that smile… 

Dina purposely blowing smoke in Ellie’s face wakes her up from her reverie. 

“The fuck, D…” Ellie complains, coughing and fanning a hand in her face to clear the smoke. 

“Jesse and I love you very much,” Dina continues, ignoring her curses. “But to be honest, we’ve kind of been pissed with you for a while now.” 

Ellie’s eyes shoot up to frown at her. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

Dina sighs. 

“We love her a lot too, you know. And we miss her. The past year, she’s pulled away from us because of you. And we would have pushed, but she asked us not to. She asked us not to choose and to just keep being friends with you like normal.” 

“I—“ Ellie stutters. “I didn’t know that.” 

“Because she told us not to tell you.” Dina sighs. “Even after you hurt her, she still thought about you. She knew how much we mean to each other, and she didn’t want to get in the way of that. And that’s why she hasn’t told either me or Jesse what happened between you two when you took her home at the end of that summer.” 

Ellie puts her head in her hands, recalling that drive. That day rattled in her mind constantly over the past year or so. She’d tried consistently to repress it at first, but it was all cemented in her mind: your nervous twitching and fidgeting, the way your lips trembled when you spoke, the redness of your eyes as you fought not to cry. Eventually, she gave up trying to forget it all; deep down, she knew she deserved to live with the guilt. 

“Fuck.” Ellie sighs. 

“Yeah.” 

They sit in silence for a few moments as Dina finished the rest of the joint, eventually putting it out on the ashtray. 

“So,” Dina finally speaks. “You gonna tell me what made her break up with you?” 

Ellie sighs. 

“I don’t think you really wanna know, D.” She mutters. 

“You know,” Dina says. “It’s not really fair that you’ve had me and Jesse update you nonstop the past year on what’s been going on with her, but then you won’t tell either of us what went down.” 

“It’s just…” Ellie continues, thinking. “I know you both think I was real shitty for what I did to her. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t think that. But I don’t want you both to think that I’m a complete and total asshole.” 

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You are a complete and total asshole.” Dina shrugs. 

“Oh, you dick.” Ellie says, smacking Dina’s arm a little too hard. 

“Ow!” Dina complains, rubbing the spot where Ellie hit her. “We don’t all go to the gym religiously, you know. Some of us are delicate!” 

“Pussy.” Ellie chuckles. 

Dina rolls her eyes before getting up from the couch. 

“Anyway, get your shit together, Williams. I gotta go.” She says. “Got class in about 20 minutes.” 

“Skip it.” 

“No. Go to your next class, Els.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Ellie says dismissively, brushing her off. 

Dina said her goodbyes and waved before leaving the apartment, locking the door behind her. 

Ellie sat with her thoughts for a moment before getting up to walk to the kitchen. She grabs a mug from the cabinets, one decorated with a red-winged blackbird on one side and a sandhill crane on the other. After she nearly fills it to the brim with whiskey, she begins drinking it impatiently as she makes her way into her bedroom. 

She places her now half-empty mug on her bedside table before plopping down onto her bed. Not bothering to remove her dirty Converse, she stares up at the prickly, white ceiling. 

Abby Anderson? Why her? 

Her tattooed arm was positioned above her forehead while the other laid on her side, her old, trusty switchblade suddenly in her hand. She starts playing with it mindlessly as thoughts of you swim inside her head. 

When the fuck did she start seeing her again? She didn’t even like Anderson that much… 

Ellie’s mind was a battlefield. She begins recalling memories of you when you’d talk about Abby Anderson, trying to discern the level of attraction you had for her from the bashful looks on your face and the dreaminess in your voice. At the same time, she was trying to push away her own emotion from those memories: the forced smile she’d give you when you brought Anderson up, the way she bit her tongue from unleashing nasty, sarcastic retorts about her, the seething rage she felt as she stormed away from you the first night she dropped you off at Anderson’s dorm. 

She didn’t even… She only slept with her once…  

Ellie thinks about that evening, when she watched you getting ready. She tried desperately to shut out the images of your tender eyes begging for her approval, your messy hair cascading down as you’d taken it out of its bun, every curve of your body that she was allowed a glimpse of when she’d helped you dress, your lips…

Anderson was just some fucking hook-up, I know she was… 

Ellie remembers miserably how she waited until you’d completely turned away to watch how mesmerizing you looked as you ascended the steps to Anderson’s dorm. Ellie remembers the disappointed look you had on your face, crest-fallen that she’d kept you at arms-length the rest of the evening. She remembers wanting desperately to call out your name, stop you from walking through the door, and claim you for herself. She remembers nearly doing so, but her courage had not moved swiftly enough. 

I fucked her hundreds more times… There’s no way Anderson is pleasing her like I did… I’m the one who knows how to… 

Ellie begins speculating on what you’ve been doing hanging around Anderson again. There’s no way that you were just friends. She sees the way Anderson swaggers when they occupy the gym together, her flirty smirk as she greets people as she walks down hallways. Ellie recognizes another lesbian player when she sees one, and she knew for a fact how popular Anderson was with other girls. And more than anything, Ellie knows how beautiful you are. She knows that anyone within five feet of you would be delusional not to want a chance. 

Anderson’s not her type… Anderson is not her fucking type… What the hell is she doing? She can do a whole lot fucking better… 

Ellie’s thoughts unravel as she wonders about what Anderson was saying that was making you laugh so much. She obsesses over the way you were touching her arm, how your fingers brushed over her muscled bicep. She torments herself about what you were letting her do to you at this very moment. 

I just… I just fucking saw her a couple of days ago… She’s single, she looked fucking single… 

Were you spending the night at her place this evening? Were you all dolled up today just to see her? Is Anderson taking you out on a date tonight or is she bringing you straight to her bedroom? Has she touched you already today? Has she kissed those cherry-flavoured lips of yours once more yet? Is she lifting your dress over your head or are you doing it for her? Is she kissing your neck as her fingers make their way down into your underwear to— 

Ellie sits up all of a sudden, yelling in frustration and hurling her switchblade across the room. She breathes heavily as she stares at her knife now fastened securely into the drywall, halfway stuck resulting from a throw a little too vigorous. 

“Fuck me.” Ellie huffs, disgruntled, not by the damaged wall, but by the jealousy smoldering within her. 

Why? 

Ellie picks up her half-empty mug of booze and chugs it. As droplets of whiskey dribble down her chin, she glances at the painted birds on her now-empty mug. 

Joel had bought it during a trip to a thrift store when she was 14 after she’d begged him to get it for her. Every time before the school year started, she’d always be sure to pack it to take with her, a piece of home. It was her favourite mug and it reminded her of her father. 

She missed him. She wished she was back home in Jackson with him right now, away from these problems. Life felt so much more simple when it was just her and Joel, just the two of them against the rest of the world. But she was no longer 14 and no longer an innocent. 

Ellie sighs. She deliberates for a moment or two. Maybe she could call Joel, tell him what was going on. He knew her best, besides Dina and Jesse. He usually steered her in the right direction, whether it was in a way she initially agreed with or not. 

In the end, Ellie decides against it. Explaining lesbianism to a well-meaning but clueless 60-something-year-old man was hard enough. Having to illustrate the current state of her love life? Ellie didn’t have the time or patience to describe to her father how lesbian situationships worked, much less what a “situationship” was. She’d give him a brain aneurysm within thirty seconds of her explanation. 

She also thinks back to the last conversation she had with Joel about you. He’d given her yet another caring but stern lecture before she headed back to campus for this school year. She knows deep down exactly how her father felt about you. Is that what she wanted to hear right now? 

Ellie lets herself fall back onto the bed, pulling her phone out of her pocket once her head hit her pillow. She swipes away yet another text from Daniela without bothering to skim it and opens up Instagram. Almost instinctively, she switches over from her main account to a separate one.  

For the first three months after you and Ellie fell out, you had her number and all her socials blocked. She hadn’t exactly tried to reach out to you during that time, but she hadn’t been able to resist the temptation to lurk. She’d treated it like she was defusing a bomb: she’d delicately open up social media, hastily type in your name, only to be abruptly greeted with blank screens. She wasn’t surprised. But whether out of pure curiosity or masochism, she’d continued this routine of searching your username on different platforms just to stare at nothing for a couple of minutes. 

Ellie wasn’t sure what had suddenly prompted you to one day unblock her from everything. For a while, she waited to see if this meant anything, if you were going to reach out to her in some kind of way. But after a few days of nothing, she accepted the continued, albeit unblocked, silence. She wasn’t naive; she never expected you to come back to her. At least she could still snoop in peace. 

Though not exactly adept with social media, Ellie wasn’t stupid. When she wanted to look at your Instagram page, she did so through a fake, secret account that she’d made solely for that purpose. It felt pitiful to do so, at least at first. But she’d known you had no intention of speaking to her again, and therefore no longer needed to impress you; so she swallowed the feelings of shame and self-disgust every time. 

Switching over to a blank account with the user name “br!ck_master2013” that has 2 followers (both of which were bot profiles) and was following 0 accounts, Ellie types in your username by heart in the search bar. She scans your Instagram page for any changes. You don’t update it often; your last post is from early the previous summer and is just pictures of your family cat Clementine who had passed away. 

A purple and orange circle dances around your icon, indicating you’ve posted something on your story within the last 24 hours. She let out an agitated breath before pressing her thumb onto the mirror selfie you’d set as your profile picture. 

There are four stories: the first is from 22 hours ago and was a fan art post of a video game she knew you liked, the second is from 18 hours ago and was a picture of the mocha frappe Dina had gotten you the day prior with a caption thanking and tagging Dina, the third is from 15 hours ago of a post that read, “Don’t Want To See Trans People? Gouge Out Your Eyes” (prompting her to chuckle to herself), and the fourth is from this morning. Ellie’s breathing hitches. 

It was a selfie you’d taken in your bathroom before you left for class. You’d captioned it with “fuck mondays but at least i’m cute,” an understatement in Ellie’s eyes. She was only permitted a minute to gaze at you in person earlier today, and it was from several feet away. A picture doesn’t amount to the real thing, but at least she can fully drink you in with her ocean green eyes this time, completely at her leisure. 

You were wearing that same pretty, floral sundress, the sweater you were wearing earlier missing from your ensemble in the photograph. She doesn't recognize the dress, so she figures it must be new. Ellie thinks it looked like it was made for you, the way it fits you so perfectly. 

She then dares to stare at your face. Even after all these years, she revels in how flawlessly you were always able to have your makeup complement your appearance. It was a gift, really, how you used colours to, not create your beauty, but accentuate it. And you seemed to have gotten even better at it now. 

Ellie keeps taking in your image for what feels like a hundred years until your Instagram story closes out on her. She blinks and then sighs. 

There’s no way Anderson hasn’t made a move on her already. 

Ellie reaches underneath her bed and grabs her laptop. She knows what she was about to do pushed her even further into loser lesbian territory, but she had passed the point of caring long, long ago. She opens up her laptop and clicks on the Spotify application on her desktop. 

The window pops up to display a few recommended albums and playlists. Scrolling past her most recently listened to song (“Novacane” by Frank Ocean), she clicks on the little icon on the top right that says “Friend Activity.” A sidebar opens up to reveal icons of a handful of Ellie’s friends. And of you. 

When you’d blocked Ellie from everything, she guessed correctly that you wouldn’t think of blocking her on something as trivial as a music app. Most people in your generation didn’t really pay much attention to these stupid little details. But Ellie did. And she was thankful you didn’t. 

Ignoring what songs the rest of her friends were listening to at the moment, she looked for your icon to see what you were playing. According to the tiny grey letters next to your picture, you were listening to “decode” by some artist named Sabrina Carpenter. 

Ellie chuckles quietly. You had a rather wide variety in music taste, always having been musically inclined. But you weren’t immune to enjoying and fixating on what she would call “generic, top 40 pop straight girl music.” She’d tease you about this relentlessly, to which you would respond by turning the song up even louder and belting your heart out to it. Even though it was in the act of defying her, Ellie always noted internally what a pretty voice you had when you sang. 

She figures that this artist was your current new fixation. She grabs her spare earphones from the drawer of her bedside table, plugging them into her laptop. She clicks on the song you're still listening to and lets it play. As the song progresses, Ellie feels her heart sink. 

♫ You're good at the fallin', not the stayin' there / You're good at the givin' too much, then gettin' scared

You're good at impersonating someone who cares / And you had me for a minute there ♫

Ellie shifts her laptop to one side and rolls to the other, allowing the music to continue in her ears. 

♫ But now I wonder why / I let your confusion keep me up at night 

I'm so tired / Reread every single undertone ♫ 

Ellie sighs, hooking an arm underneath her pillow, clutching it tightly as she clenches her jaw. 

♫ There's a weight off my shoulders now that I don't chase you / Bein' myself, did that emasculate you? 

Learnin' from you that I can walk away too / And you had me for a minute too ♫

Ellie frowns, closing her eyes, allowing the song to envelop her in shame. 

♫ Now I wonder why / I let your confusion keep me up at night 

I'm so tired / Reread every single undertone and I—♫ 

“Yo, Williams—” A voice interrupts with a knock on her bedroom door. 

Ellie shoots up from her bed, earphones tearing out from her ears. 

“What?” Ellie answers, irritated. 

Jesse’s head pokes itself through the doorway. His expression turned into amusement once he saw hers of annoyance.  

“Oh, sorry, dude. Did I wake you?” 

“Yeah, but it’s fine,” Ellie lies, relaxing a little and tapping the spacebar to pause the song. “What’s up?” 

Jesse scans her features further. He took a step in, leaning against the doorframe. 

“You alright?” 

“All good, dude,” She says, closing her laptop and hopping off her bed. “Was just having a bad dream.” 

Jesse considers this when his eyes wander to Ellie’s knife sticking out of the wall. 

“Bro.” He says, pointing to it. 

“It was a really bad dream, alright?” She shrugs. 

“Els,” He groans. “If we don’t get our security deposit back—“ 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll fix it.” She says, crossing her arms. “What did you want?” 

“You got a second? Got someone here who wants to buy.” 

Ellie sighs. 

“Yeah, okay. They good?” 

“Should be.” Jesse confirms. 

“Fine.” Ellie replies, standing up straighter and rolling up the sleeves to her flannel. 

“Cool. You might have actually met him the other night.” Jesse jabs his thumb towards the living room, beckoning her to follow him. 

“The other night?” Ellie questions, trailing after. 

“Yeah, he was with us at the diner after the party.” 

“Wait, what?” 

Before Jesse can answer, Ellie’s eyes fall on who Jesse had brought into their apartment. Wearing a backwards cap, a plain navy blue t-shirt & khakis, their visitor looks like every other standard, forgettable college frat boy. 

But Ellie didn’t forget. In fact, Ellie remembers exactly who he was quite well. 

“You remember Adam?” Jesse asks.

“Man, really? Didn’t clock you as a queer.” 

“Yeah,” Ellie answers, eyes seeing red and hands balling up in fists. “Yeah, I remember you.”

author’s notes:

okay so part of why this took me so long to write and why it also took a lot of convincing on my own part to post is cause i was writing it from ellie's perspective and that was a lot harder than i thought!! didn't plan it to be this way tbh but that's what flowed and well, here it is!

i hope all the college descriptions i’ve been writing have been realistic enough! i had a messy collegiate experience myself and i ended up dropping out after a few years, so i’m just trying to write from experiences from so many years ago (i legit researched what kind of classes aspiring astronauts need to take cause we know our girl wants to go up in space).

the birds on ellie's mug are just references to a couple of my gf's favourite birds (she's an avid bird watcher and she loves birds hehe)!

also idk why i know ellie's a whiskey drinker, but god i just know she is. what butch lesbian is not a whiskey drinker (just from personal experience, don't kill me).

you get a gold star if you got that "brick master" reference ♡︎

i also don't know why i know ellie would listen to frank ocean, but god her loser ass would be LISTENINGGGG to frank ocean. thank you also to everyone for bearing with me and my current sabrina carpenter phase rn ♡︎

does anyone else still look at their friends activity on spotify or is that just me. i love seeing what my friends are up to! i use the airbuds app too, i feel so involved. yeah, that is a pic of me from many years ago as reader's tiny little icon the spotify pic, that's the most y'all get as a pic of me rn sdklfjsd

taglist: @lonelyfooryouonly, @elliesinterlude, @sawaagyapong, @peppesgirl, @iconsoft, @maybeidohaveadhd, @ellieswifee, @valiantllamapersonpony-blog, @nil-eena, @echostinn, @uraesthete, @softbunlvr, @cherriessxinthespring, @amitycat, @thefishymissy, @yevheniiaaaa, @machetegirl109, @bertandfearnie, @ximtiredx, @efam, @elliesnoviecita, @digit4lslut, @tayyyystan, @emothurman, @livvy-2000, @abigaillovestoread, @gold-dustwomxn, @liabadoobee, @yuckyfucky, @qtefolleunpez, @libr4sonsa, @17luv, @robinismywifee, @villainousbear, @ashlynnnnnnnn15, @scarlettadore, @vianna99, @g0n3girls, @totheblood, @embermdk, @awyunh, @kenz-ee, @marvelwomen-simp

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Spidersonas are the perfect exercise and I recommend everyone try -

Quick-Spidersona Exercises

How I use new Spidersonas as Artistic Practice

[A MEDIUM length post where I share ideas and exercises to create Spidersonas quicker and easier, while practicing your writing/art]

Spidersonas can be a great tool for any artist!

If you're a writer looking for a way to get better at character creation, research, and world-building - Or an artist looking for a way to get better at character design:

Consider trying out Quick Spidersona exercises as a fun way to do that! I use them all the time, because seriously, who says you can only have ONE Spidersona?

(I think I have at least 15-20 now - counting the eight named kids I gave Miguel & Moche)

I usual end up making at least one a week - and I find they're amazing for learning how to make characters quickly and in a really fun way.

Everything can be canon in the Spider-verse, including a sentient piece of Lego-Plastic and a Pre-historic Spider-saur.

Plus, with the Spider-Society being full formed, and canon events at your choosing, you have a loose template for a background - making it easier to throw them into the story.

I use a couple different exercises on making Fast-Sonas, and I thought I'd share some.

Here's a couple of my favorites! If you find this helpful, let me know!

1 - Hour Sona Challenge

Ever have a half-baked Spidersona Idea or come up with a funny crack Spider?

Give yourself an hour (or two) and go at it.

[This challenge is good for quick practice, Character Creation & Design]

Design them a suit as quick as you can, coming up with abilities and a rough personality.

You don't need to go into backstory if you don't feel like it, and it's a great way to get started

This is something you can do routinely - I do, I usually do this once or twice a week; And soon you'll have a full cast of sonas that can interact with each other!

It's great practice, and the more you do it, the easier it gets.

When you're doing it on the fly, or know it's just one hour - it can produce characters that are more natural, because you don't have time to second guess. Plus, since it's only an hour, you can get as silly as you want!

Stoner-Spider is an example of a 2-hour Sona Challenge.

Adapt-A-Spider

This challenge is good for Character Design

Make your own cross over!

For something a bit easier - Take a Non-Spider character and make them a Spider-person.

This could be anyone, from other Marvel characters, to Disney Princesses, Celebrities, and characters from your other fandoms. You can even make some of your old OCs into Spider-people!

For Artists - this can be a real fun challenge - try and blend the characters original outfit and design into a suit suitable for swinging.

For Writers - try to adapt their current background, and shift it around so they have 'canon events'. If the character you like has lost someone, the person they lost could stand in for their Uncle Ben or Aunt May.

Example: If you're looking to adapt Ellie from The Last of Us, losing Joel could be her Uncle Ben canon event.

This works for every character (basically). What if Black Widow ACTUALLY got bit by a black widow? Now Nat Romanoff is on campus. (Every Peter thinks she's an MJ cause the red hair at first).

No matter how ridiculous, you can stretch it. In Spiderverse, everyone is Canon.

If they can write a SpiderCar - you can write ANYTHING.

Some ideas are:

Celebrities, Animals (like SpiderCat or the Dinosaur), Princesses, Greek Gods, Historical Figures, Fandom Characters,

Mundane Spider

This challenge is good for: Character Building & Design

Not everyone is extraordinary. SOMEONE has to flip those McMiguel burgers goddamn it.

If making a huge story and traumatic canon events send daunting - just... Don't do it. Challenge yourself to make a Spidersona that's literally just a person.

Like a Target employee who got bit by a spider that came out a shipment. And now they have to work at the Society AND target. They wear the Target polo over their suit.

Pick a normal type of person, and challenge yourself to make them super.

Maybe a stay at home mom that got bit by a house spider, or a college student that got bit at the library. Any one could be a Spider-person! So don't worry that they're 'boring'.

Ideas for this:

A person based on your town/city, Random Professions, Teachers, Therapists, People based on hobbies you like to do (ex: Margo is eSports. SpiderCanada is hockey based),

History Spider

[This is good for Research]

History Buffs WHERE U AT?????

If you love a period of history - GO ALL IN.

Take the SpiderNoir and Hobie route.

If your Spidersona was from Ancient Egypt, what would they wear? If you really like the Medieval Era, would their city want to burn them at the stake?

For Artists - What would they wear? And how would the fashion trends of their time period effect their suits?

For Writers - What would be their real name, if it were time period accurate? How would they act and speak? Consider how they would adjust to things like 2099, and how their time period would effect their fighting style.

Culture Spider

If you're from a interesting culture or place, make a Sona for that!

[This is another great one for Research, as well as Character Design too]

I've seen it all, from my own IncaSpider, to Korean Spider-people and Romanian Spider-people.

For Artists - It's REALLY fun adapting traditional dress and colors into a Spider-suit, and you may even find yourself falling down a research hole.

For Writers - This can go DEEP. You can pick any time period of your culture and home. Things like their accent, their behaviors and traditions, and their backstory can all be reflections of your culture.

With HUNDREDS of years is material to pull from, using Culture as a back drop for a Spider can help them seem deep and natural. Plus, you can just Google clothing and use that as suit inspo

Ben Reilly - Mary Sue Spider

Arguably my FAVORITE. Not for the faint of heart.

[This is the best for everything - Literal SELF CARE I MEAN THAT]

BE CRINGE. DO IT ON PURPOSE.

Write a character that's super strong and effortless about it. Pavi is. And he's still a great character.

Write a character who ALWAYS looks kick ass and rides a cool motorcycle or plays a rad guitar - Jess and Hobie are literally THAT.

Want your character to be big and super smart with deep trauma that haunts them? - Ben Reilly and Miguel. The three of them can be a trio.

Challenge yourself to make the COOLEST MOST FLAWLESS DRAMATIC SONA YOU CAN.

Every time you draw something or write something that makes you cringe, or feels to OP or too much.

Good. Leave it in. Turn it up to 11.

Go all out. Draw your Instagram dream outfit. If you want your Sona in 12 inch heels - have at it!

'Oh but that's impractical and stup-'

They're literally a Super-Human. If Gwen can catch a helicopter like that, I think a Spidersona can manage stripper heels or Final Fantasy Hair.

What's the worst that can happen? You're doing it on purpose.

At the best, you'll make someone REALLY REALLY rad - like Hobie.

At the least, you'll make someone REALLY REALLY funny - like Ben Reilly.

Disco-Spider Diane is an example of this. She was probably supposed to be a completely self-indulgent, unhinged Sona.

So much so that she thinks she's perfect, even though she's a little bit naive, lazy, and in her own world. But because she doesn't care.. it's all good :)

No Logic Whatsoever Spider

[This one is just funny. Great one for Character Design and getting out of your comfort zone.]

Spider-Ham, Spider-Car, Spider Cat, LegoSpider, Spiderplush and SpiderPopsicle all have a club. The No Logic Whatsoever Club.

Challenge yourself to make a new member.

Break all the laws of logic. If something can be Spiderman, then it is or duty to make it so.

What's your favorite animal? Make that.

Can they put on the suit themselves? No? Who cares they're a Spiderperson-thing now.

Is there a funny art style you like - make a Bendy's style 1930's black and white silent cartoon.

For Artists - This is a great one. It can be as simple as drawing Spider-man merch and making it sentient. Or as bizarre as drawing a Dinosaur in a Spider-man costume.

For Writers - HARD MODE. For pure crack fanatics. Enjoy trying to make logic of this. Or don't. They are what they are.

----------------------------

So here are just some exercises and ideas for those looking to strengthen their writing/art skills with Spidersonas.

They can be really quick to make, and you can always build on them over time, do a '1hr Sona Update' Challenge, run them through canon events and see them change.

Having multiple spidersonas can be fun, make writing easier, and it's great practice that translates everywhere - into world building, character design, research, and a lot of other creative skills.

Literally theres no need for just one! The Spiderverse is open to any Sona, no matter how bizarre, mundane, or self-indulgent!!

If this gave you and ideas or inspiration, let me know. If you try a challenge, I'd love to see too!

And as per usual if you've read this far: Here take this as a token of my gratitude

Go forth, create, and kill cringe with your bare hands. Smash it into a moving train. That usually does the trick.

Bye.

[tw1l1te]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼- 𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 3

Part 3! We finally get to Wars, Sky, and Wind! WIND IS PLATONIC ONLY DON'T BE GROSS

Warnings: possible suggestive themes (AGAIN NOT FOR WIND), angst, mental health topics, scars/wounds

⋆｡°✩

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖗𝖘

21-22 years old, one of the captain's of the Hylian Army. Zelda offered him a higher rank (general I'm assuming) and a position on the Hylian Council, but he refused almost right away.

Pretty tall, an inch above Twilight, but still shorter than Time

Blonde hair, shaggy but in a fashionable way. Idk y'all, he makes it work

Leaner muscle, double pierced lobes, wears chain linked earrings when at fromal events but usually sticks to his signature blue hoops

Can't read Hylian that well, but can understand/speak several languages, such as Twili (Twi is kinda jealous)

The strategist of the group. He was always under a time limit during the war, so he knows how to handle a tricky situation quickly and efficiently most of the time

Went to school in his developmental years, though was recruited at around 14-15 because he was way better in the fighting field than in academics. It worked out for him though, so he's not complaining.

As much as he cares about appearance and fighting for his country, he hates balls/formal events. The fake interactions and smiles make him sweat and he usually leaves an hour into them. He'll suck it up if you're there with him though

Closest to Time, Wild and Legend ironically enough. Wild and himself can relate on the aspect of being in the Hylian army, and they typically talk about how their experience was. Legend and him mostly bicker, but its all fun n' games. Time and Wars are essentially the higher-ups, though nobody actually says that, its just been silently established.

Super wary of Y/n, especially with his expriences with other dimensions and eras. He was honestly convinced you were part of Cia's plan or the shadow, since your timing seemed a little convenient, but you've gained his trust little by little, maybe a little too much.

Unlike his usual demeanor with women, he doesn't outwardly flirt with our protagonist. Yes, he throws a few quips here and there when appropriate, but he respects Y/n. He doesn't see them as everyone else. He has them on a pedestal towering over everyone

Has scars from the war, duh. He was mostly up close in the front lines, so a lot of slashes and nicks. Has a pretty bad burn on his left arm from Volga's fire, it's healed but still pretty scarred on his skin.

𝖘𝖐𝖞

20-21 years old, the "Chosen One".

Average height, light freckles across his face and shoulders, he was living right under the sun, you can't tell me he doesn't have freckles!!

Also... sleeper build. I said it. He has a sleeper build and boy when Y/n first sees him shirtless?? AWOOGA-

I headcanon him as having a gigantic triforce insignia tattoo all over his upper back. It was part of his ceremonial return, more on that later.

Suprisingly very school smart for falling asleep in class all the time. Sun was and still is very jealous of his natural smarts.

Has his lobes pierced, wears small red hoops. He wants to get more stacked piercings, a loftwing feather to match with Y/n in the future, who knows?

Doesn't have the biggest sweetest tooth, but he does love pastires of almost any kind. Pumpkin ones are his favorites, though Y/n's cinnamon rolls are quickly climbing up the ladder.

One of the most conflicted about Hylia and the whole "following the goddess" thing. He s=has insomnia because of it, causes him a lot of anxiety.

He was very depressed after his journey was finished, as he didn't identify as anything else besides a hero, and since his purpose was completed, he was nobody.

Struggled a lot with isolation and self-deprecation right up until joining the Chain. He still struggles with it, despite it being years later.

After meeting you and learning about your similar struggles of identity and burden's of mental health, he felt so much less lonely. Sure the Chain were his brothers and they knew what he had been through, you really understood him. You went through the same thing, you knew what it felt like.

Close to Hyrule and Four, but probably most attached to Y/n, even before the romantic feelings set in. He's got a big heart.

Biggest sleepyhead. Will sleep almost anywhere, especially if he's exhausted.

Hobbies include woodworking and playing his harp, but recently took up making a piece of jewelry for Y/n. He's been working on it for months, adventuring prevents him from working on it too long. He wants to give it to you during the winter festival, when you're all his.

𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖉

little shit

...

I would say I'm kidding, but he is :3

around 13 I wanna say, it's only been about a year since his adventure.

Short, duh, but his growth spurt is kicking in. He's catching up to Y/n, and you are not excited to be the shortest in a few years.

Sandy blonde hair, a bit wavy. Somehow always has a tiny bit of sand in it, no matter how many times he washes his hair.

If you think Twi or Hyrule had the biggest sweet tooth? HELL NO

If Wind ever found out about energy drinks or soda/pop, we're done for

Not the best in terms of speaking and reading Hylian, though being a pirate has helped him develop his own colorful vocabulary

Very skilled with up close combat, though the others hardly ever let him be on the front offensive

Similar to Wild, likes taking pics of anything (mostly weird faces that the others make)

Y/n and him clicked INSTANTLY. He might've not trusted them immediately, but they were best friends super fast. Wind has helped you get through homesickness by tellng you his own stories about his home.

"Captain" of Tetra's ship, or that's what he believes

Everyone knows Tetra's in charge though

Struggles a bit with alcoholism, being a pirate and all kinda leads you to be reliant on alcohol. The boys are trying to help him with it, but its the main coping skills he uses when after a high stress situation or he's feeling lost mentally.

Everyone sees him as a little brother, despite how much of a little shit he is >:3c

[f1-birb]

in reference to this, the lovely anon came back to give full thoughts from a union rep perspective so I have taken the text from two asks and put them under the cut - incredibly interesting read and sheds light on a lot of assumptions I'd formed but from a more knowledgeable perspective:

As I said in my initial message, I have a lot of thoughts on the entire radio interaction throughout the last 20 laps of that race yesterday, so to keep things from getting too chaotic, I'm going to try to discuss things in sections.

-THE MESSAGES-

I actually think this is a two-fold problem.

So, for starters, we get the message

"Lando, he can't catch you. You've proved your point" towards the end of this whole ordeal. Every interaction prior to this point involves some variation of "We're stressed about the tyres, Lando. You need to save tyres, Lando." (Coincidentally, every message about saving tyres is followed up with some variation of "Remember to let Oscar through." I'll come back to this in the section about Will). Except, we can see from the photos of the two McLaren cars in parc ferme that Lando's tyres were fine. The fact that he was able to push and continue building a gap shows that his tyres were fine and weren't dropping off.

This, right here, prime example of gaslighting. A driver can feel when he starts struggling with the tyres, we've heard Lando himself complain about the tyres going off on the radio before.

He wasn't struggling at all here, the team was trying to convince him he was to slow him down. This, already, to me is extremely unethical and sets a dangerous precedent. If the team is willing to gaslight and lie to him about something occurring on the track, directly related to his race, when he's driving at high speeds and has no access to data, how is he supposed to know when he can trust them? Not only is this example gaslighting, it's extremely manipulative. They re trying to make him believe something that isn't at all true so that he does something completely unnatural to his nature as a racing driver (intentionally driving slower for like the last 15 laps) that benefits them.

Now, probably the most controversial part of the interaction occurs when Lando says he's fighting for this championship (presumably the Driver's Championship), and Will responds with

"The way to win a championship is not by yourself. It's with the team. You're going to need Oscar. You're going to need the team." Now, l'm going to be completely honest with you, if this interaction had occurred in some kind of interview between Will and Lando or in a free practice session or hell even in a qualifying session debating who would get a tow or prime track position, l'd probably be like "Yeah, fair enough, that's 100% true, needing a supportive team behind you to be successful is true of a lot of industries, including mine." But you have to remember the context here: They're trying to manipulate him into doing something he's expressed discomfort in doing, using tactics like gaslighting, blatantly lying, appealing to his emotions, and now threatening him.

This isn't the "You're part of a team" message some people are trying to play it off as to make it sound lighter than it is and like others are

overreacting. There is no "Remember, you're part of a team that can help you get that championship." The words of

"You're going to need the team" are very deliberate and intentional. They're basically telling him, if he wants the support and aid of the team, he has to do what he's being told regardless of if he agrees with it or feels comfortable with it. Again, they're trying to use tactics like intimidation and fear of future retaliation to get him to do something he's uncomfortable with.

-ANDREA STELLA-

Courtesy of Ted Kravitz, we now know Andrea Stella was the one telling Will Joseph the exact messages to relay to Lando. So, let's just break this down.

This is the team principal himself - the man whose job responsibility is quite literally to manage the team and driver dynamics.

His team has fucked up. He knows they've fucked up. Hell, even Lando knows they've fucked up and asks at one point why they didn't just pit Oscar first. Instead of owning the team's fuck up, he tries to make Lando the scapegoat. Even after the race, in the media, he's still trying to make it look like McLaren deserve no criticism, Lando does for trying to steal a win from his teammate (that his error-prone strategy team dangled in front of Lando). So, he's still resorting to abusive tactics like emotional manipulation to his driver who in the end did exactly what he asked despite being uncomfortable doing it. This is also just extremely narcissistic - refusing to acknowledge his and his team's role in this mess and instead placing it all on Lando.

And then the radio messages that he was feeding to Will Joseph to in turn feed to Lando. The "obey or we'll never support you" message would have been bad enough coming from Will, but there's a whole other element at power when you know it was the team principal, someone who strategists and engineers answer to, threatening this.

This is someone who very well could ruin Lando's entire career and stock in the paddock with the staff and resources at his disposal, and he's essentially threatening, on a public radio broadcasted to millions, to do just that if Lando doesn't obey him.

This wasn't a "frantic race engineer trying to reel his driver in" situation like we originally thought, this is a team principal - again, responsible for managing the TEAM and DRIVERS - basically threatening to have the team leave one of the drivers out to dry and focus all of their efforts and attention on the other if this one driver does not conform to his will.

And I know a lot of people are upset that Lando is not speaking out against the team, so let me pose this question:

If Andrea Stella is perfectly comfortable acting this vile - gaslighting, blackmailing, threatening - on a public radio broadcasted to millions, and the threat of "obey me or this team will not support you" is already hanging in the air, do you really think Lando could criticize the team publicly and get out unscathed? Given these radio messages, does Lando even think he could fairly criticize the team, publicly or privately, without jeopardizing his own career? We think because he's a multimillionaire (and he is privileged, I'm not denying that) with millions of followers that he has all this influence, but the one with the real power - the one who tells Zak Brown who he wants in those seats - has basically just publicly sent him the message that if he wants to stay in his seat and actually achieve his biggest goal, he'll shut up and listen regardless of his own thoughts or opinions.

-WILL JOSEPH-

Let me preface this by saying I don't think Will is completely blameless in this situation. That being said, he was manipulated by Andrea Stella and his tactics just as much as Lando was, and as l'll go into in a moment, I think there are definitely signs that he wasn't 100% comfortable with what he was doing and was still trying to look out for Lando while placating their boss.

But first ... the power dynamics, again.

Much like he has the power to destroy Lando's career if he wanted to, Stella also has the power to destroy, frankly much more quickly and easily, Will's career if he really wanted to. And we already know from his radio messages to Lando that Andrea Stella is not against threatening to do just that if his employees do not obey his orders. So, despite still being angry at Will, I do recognize he was in a lose-lose situation.

I really do think if you read between the lines of those radio messages that you can see that Will did try, in his own way, to look out for Lando, but that also makes some of the things he said a bit more eerie of some of this toxic behavior existing behind closed doors as well.

For example, one thing I noticed with the "Save tyres" messages was that every single time, there was some sort of plea to swap positions. And again, this is mostly speculation, but I think that was Will's way of saying like "Your tyres are fine, they are just demanding you slow down for this switch." Evidence of this: "We need you to save your tyres please and we do want to let Oscar through." "Ok, Lando, we still think you're using the tyres too much Turn 4 Turn 11, and the rears at exit Turn 6 Turn 9. Oscar's 3.5, I know you'll do the right thing." "We think both cars are using their tyres too much. Just remember every single Sunday morning meeting we have."

I also, and again this is mostly speculation on my part, but I do believe Will was trying to avoid saying some of the harsher things like the threat that Andrea was telling him. At the time, I thought the urgent messages in which Will insists he's trying to protect Lando were about protecting him from a potential undercut and thus needing to pit him first, but as quite literally every analysis has pointed out, Lando wasn't even under threat of that for the final pit stops. They could have pitted Oscar the lap they pitted Lando, pitted Lando the very next lap, and everyone would have maintained their original positions. I also just, idk, felt the urgency in that "I'm trying to protect you mate, I promise I'm trying to protect you." message just wouldn't have matched up if all they were discussing was the pit sequence. Like, Will sounded full-on frantic at this point, and then mind you, the very next plea Andrea has him give is the threat about Lando not having the team's support going forward if he doesn't swap positions.

So, despite still being mad as hell, I understand power dynamics were shifted in both Will and Lando's cases.

Stella was on a power trip and would have happily (and did, as we see Lando still taking the brunt of the blame for Stella's team's failures) thrown both Will and Lando to the wolves if he didn't get his way. And that intimidation factor easily allows him to manipulate both Will and Lando.

This is more like the arguments/ evidence I would use if this incident were to get reported to HR, and, as a Union Rep, I was chosen to go advocate for Lando and Will against management. That being said, much of what we focus on when we are advocating for employees are the power dynamics at hand, and that's something about this situation I don't see people recognizing enough. Andrea Stella is in a position of power over both the other men involved in this situation, and according to Ted Kravitz, he was the one pulling the strings with the gaslighting and blackmailing and manipulating. Had Will refused to convey Andrea's messages, he could have been demoted or maybe even terminated altogether. As we heard in the messages themselves, had Lando refused to bend to Andrea's will, there's a chance the team really does hang him out to dry and prioritizes Oscar at all costs.

It's difficult to provide a full Union Rep analysis too because so much of our work relies on reading actual employee contracts, and obviously those aren't just freely available online for F1 drivers. That said, I can already tell you they very clearly and deliberately broke one of their own team values with this behavior: "We act with integrity and work together to address challenges with respect, openness, and honesty." So, I wouldn't be surprised if there aren't mandates against this behavior in Andrea's own contract, and l'd be very surprised if McLaren didn't have just a general employee Code of Conduct that basically this entire incident broke.

and on the term 'workplace harassment':

I noticed the term "workplace harassment" used in the reblogs of one of your posts too, and while I didn't really use the term "workplace harassment" in my previous message, I would also throw in that I know Stella's (and by proxy, Will's) behaviors towards Lando yesterday 100% be considered workplace harassment. Intentionally withholding or spreading misinformation that impacts

someone's ability to properly do their job is workplace harassment (and granted, there's a lot of examples of that from McLaren and F1 as a whole, but the key word here is intentionally. that's normally genuine strategy blunders and not a team legitimately telling their driver lies to try to slow them down). Completely overbearing supervision can also be a sign of workplace harassment, and I'd argue by Stella literally trying to make Will his mouthpiece, he was definitely doing that. Making threats concerning job opportunities or job security (in the workplace, not in like a performance review) is ALWAYS considered workplace harassment, and well. We have direct evidence of Stella and Will both engaging in that.

[dadrielle]

So I have this theory about ships.

I've spent the last 15 years or so raging against "The Moonlighting Curse" as my own personal nemesis (also known more in fannish parlance as Shipping Bed Death). I find the idea that a couple being together is by its very nature boring super fucking maddening. I think if you can't write people in love and together in an interesting way, it just means you haven't learned how to do that yet. It's very often the cook, not the ingredients, you know?

There are a lot of stories that get characters together badly, though, that can't be disputed. Getting a couple together does scuttle some narratives. And while I do think some of it has to do with the fact that "will they/won't they" has a lot of tropes that can act as crutches for bad writers, and interesting and functional couples require more skill to write because there isn't enough of a similar scaffold to work from...there's another aspect I been thinking about lately. And that's intensity.

See, the reason "will they/won't they" is so juicy is because of the sexual tension, right? That intensifies all the interactions between the two characters, which gets us way more invested. A lot of our fav shit, like rivals to lovers, starcrossed lovers, etc etc etc, it's about creating circumstances that also amp up the tension and therefore the intensity.

When the sexual tension breaks, the first thing writers often do is look for new ways of adding in tension. A very large percentage of the time, that's by creating rifts between the characters in question, or tearing them apart in some way. The problem with that - beyond making the fans/viewer/reader feel jerked around - is that it's usually not intensifying the right thing. By focusing on the tension for its own sake, you can miss intensifying the actual draw, which is the power of the relationship itself. You can actually break your ship by trying to intensify it too hard with tension, especially by having characters lie and cheat on each other and otherwise treat each other terribly. Like sure, sometimes people like to experience characters destroying each other from the inside out! But that's not the draw of ships for a lot of people. Sometimes it's just sad, and not even in a fun way.

But here's the thing! Tension is not the only intensifier that exists. You can, for instance, intensify a relationship in canon by making them absolutely batshit insane about each other. My theory is that what we need more of is ships that get together and become fucking Morticia and Gomez Addams about it. Just doing the absolute MOST all the time in a way that no people in their right mind would do in real life. Just make them absolutely bonkers.

Crank that fucking dial baybeeeee. They are so, so in love and it would be alarming if it weren't so beautiful.

[youphoriaot7]

just saw a heart-wrenching edit on tiktok (sad music and all) about q!cellbit and the way he interacts with the eggs and i just...

i remember when i was still getting into the qsmp (which i did from cellbit's pov) and was scrolling the wiki on the daily, trying to figure out past lore and relationships and everything

and every single time i clicked on an egg's page i would end up seeing cellbit's face somewhere in the relationship box. and it always made me grin so wide because it was just...cute. and then i realized a lot of them had even mentioned things like him being one of their favorite tios or whatever and i'm just so. fucking. soft. about the idea of just-

this guy. comes to this island. in the middle of nowhere—doesn't really know how he ended up there, doesn't remember much about where he came from, nothing. and, like, it's natural to be a bit skittish or at least defensive, especially when there's already so many people here, because you don't know what they will do to you, how they'll react to anything: they are essentially unknown entities.

and if you really think about it, that completely includes the eggs. because although they're just kids, q!cellbit was canonically in a war at, like, age 15. he's definitely not one to underestimate someone because of their age—he is damn well aware of how scary people can be, regardless of what their age is.

but then they start interacting, and, like—tallulah gives him flowers, and ramon picks him for a partner in the boat race, and he's able to joke and play around with chayanne and bobby, and...in a way, it's like seeing himself, or rather, what he could have been.

because he never got that; he never got to do that. he can see the relationships they have with their parents—tallulah and chayanne with phil, ramon with fit, dapper with bbh, bobby with roier and jaiden—and he sort of comes to realize, like, "these kids don't know." they don't know what it's like to be at war. they don't know what it's like to end up in jail. they don't know what it's like to not be able to live because you're too focused on surviving. whether it's been that way in the past and they don't remember or not, they don't know.

and, inwardly, he decides he's going to make damn fucking sure it stays that way.

so he starts collecting flowers, to give some to tallulah the next time they meet, and the way she beams assures him he'll continue. and when ramon makes a mistake in the boat race and starts beating himself up about it, he empathizes and reassures him. (practically makes the poor kid cry.)

he sees the way chayanne takes the lead around the younger eggs and takes note, making sure to joke around and play with him whenever he can—because he may be the oldest, and the most responsible, but he deserves to have fun, too.

all of this includes richas, of course. in fact, it's even more exaggerated, to the extent that (in some ways similarly to fit) he mostly lets richas do what he wants, only growing concerned or stern if the kid's life is in danger. (because he saw what happened to bobby, and he's not going to let it happen on his watch.)

because there's enough pain in the world. chaos runs rampant on the island, from the federation to the codes, from the kidnappings to the tasks, from the bombs to the capybaras. there is death at every turn, and this island can be deceiving, because it doesn't seem like it. it seems perfectly fine.

but he knows.

he's been in this position before, where everyone and everything is trying to kill him. he's familiar with the concept of survival. and this island is survival.

but these are kids. they don't need that. hell, he had that as a kid, and look how he turned out. no, if he has anything to say about it, nothing will seem out of the ordinary. as much as he can help it. he will gives flowers to tallulah, he will make jokes with chayanne, he will explore with richas, he will spend time with ramon and dapper—all to offer even a semblance of normalcy.

so uh the fluff part of this train of thought is over so click off now if you don't want the hurt <3

but then things start to change. bobby dies, and the federation teases them about it, dangling the child above their heads. the codes ramp up their attacks. the kidnappings start to increase. people die and respawn more frequently. and the more he tries to get free, to get away from the island, the worse things get for the current inhabitants.

he meets pomme. this terrified egg that's been trapped behind a wall since before he even got there. and he realizes that he won't be able to shelter them forever.

things are going to happen, one way or another, to shatter the fragile illusion of reality the islanders are trying to create for these kids. in some way, the curtain is going to fall, and it is going to hurt. it's going to hurt as badly as it hurt him when he was thrown into battle. it's going to hurt as badly as it hurt him when he ended up in a top-security prison when he was barely an adult. it's going to hurt as badly as it hurt him when the wool was yanked away from his own eyes by that white bear not a week after his arrival on the island.

so whatever you do, don't think about what it must've felt like to find that book. don't think about what he must've been thinking as he flipped through those old, yellowed journal pages. don't think about him reading that lost egg's words, and just thinking, "god, this could've been me."

because it very well could've been.

the book literally talks about not wanting to survive, but wanting to live, and all he can think about for the rest of the day is how it was abandoned. same as him—only one was on a battlefield, and one was in this tiny-ass room. and there was no warrior in shining armor, no police officer taking pity to pull this egg out of there. he had someone. this egg had no one.

so of course he switches out the keychain on his backpack. because carrying that egg with him is like carrying a piece of himself, in just the same way that all the eggs feel like a piece of himself.

he can't protect the eggs forever. he knows that. but that doesn't mean he can't try.

[isa-ghost]

do u have death family headcanons....

NO FUCKING MAMES I HAD 14 OUT OF 15 DONE FOR THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR YEETED THEM. I'M GONNA SCREAM AND COMMIT MURDER, IDR THEM ALL. FUCK.

ANYWAY YOU BET YOUR GAY ASS I HAVE DEATH FAMILY HCS.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Family walks, Chayanne on Phil's shoulders and Lullah on Missa's. Or they do that thing where there's one kid between them and they take either hand and lift/swing them together.

Family gardening. Missa using his reaper scythe to harvest things, Chayanne and Lullah replanting seeds, Phil going full crow brain and hoarding all the harvested crops in crates.

The kids are Phil & Missa's biggest wingmen. Lullah will lead them somewhere and then be like "Oh. Oh nooo, oh noooo my asthmaaaa" and teleport away. And then suddenly there's Chayanne with a table for 2 and an entire kitchen setup with a dinner in progress.

They'll plot "relaxation" days for Phil and Missa too. It's a toss-up if either of them actually relax though. Missa's better at it than Phil at least.

No one cheered harder about the prison kisses than Chayanne and Lullah. They wish their dads a very "do it again. Often."

Phil and Missa are constantly conspiring together about cool things to do with/for the kids. Even when they're away from each other they'll write books leaving the other a message like "shhh don't tell the kids :)"

They'll also plan days Just for one of the kids where whatever the family does is centered around their interests. It's nice for them, because although they have mutual interests and are more than willing to do whatever the other wants, they still have unique interests and it can naturally get tiring being a package deal. Especially when so many of the other eggs are only children and get doted on by their parents with undivided attention

They get separation sadness a lot bc reaper duties and Phil's extremely deep sleep/vivid dreams keep them apart so often, but their little system of leaving gifts (Missa his paintings, Phil misc trinkets) for each other works. It's not as good as a hug or quality time though :(

Everyone's passing each other's accents to one another. Missa finds himself slipping up saying "bewk" (book) or some shit, meanwhile Phil keeps saying stuff with a Spanish accent because of Missa and Lullah and everyone keeps adopting German words into their vocabulary because of Chayanne.

Phil and Missa are both good at pvp, they love sparring with each other and teaching the kids. Chayanne is way more into it than Lullah, but Lullah loves to learn regardless, and she loves hearing Phil infodump about strategy and timing and whatnot.

Missa and the kids will team up and get Phil on one of his Philzaing rants. They'll be like "what do you MEAN you couldn't physically carry all three of us on a flight? :(" and there Phil goes, raving about how weight matters with flying and safety and blah blah blah. And he KNOWS they're getting a rise out of him most of the time. Yet he falls for it every time.

One day,, one day we'll get a 4/4 family build project,,, They want to do it do bad,, So far it's just been 3/4 make it and the 4th is delighted to be shown it by the kids whenever they're around again. (August 2024 Edit: KILLS MYSELF)

Phil and the kids have started half-purposely obtaining as many birds as they have bc it's funny to see Missa come back from reaper duties to MORE birds that he just has to accept live there now.

The kids love Phil's crow murder to death (pun intended) and are used to interacting with them. Missa not so much. Which has made for countless funny moments. He's still bewildered that they're so attuned to throwing something shiny at him and then aggressively cawing. He doesn't understand them like Phil can.

Something something the four of them having a seance together where Lullah taps into her medium abilities to communicate with Kristin bc Goddess of Death is part of the Death Family. She loves to tease Missa (usually about Phil) and she ADORES the kids.