#the movie permanently changed my brain chemistry when it came out

[little-hermit-crab56]

Oh shit guys, I think I found another childhood franchise to hyperfixate on.

[undead-potatoes]

Rewatching Pacific Rim for the first time in years, and like this was truly one of the movies of all time huh

[astrobei]

hi suni astrobei my wife my love my bug <3 top 5 movies of all time?

YVIE NNILKYWAY my light my life my pumpkin pie omg ok so i am the Most indecisive person on the face of this entire planet and my top 5 movies Of All Time will literally change day to day and i watch movies a lot less than i do tv shows but. today my top 5 movies Of All Time include (in no particular order):

1. everything everywhere all at once bc i am the eldest gay daughter to asian immigrant parents and let me tell u . i walked out of that theater with all of my makeup transferred to the inside of my mask and None of it left on my face from the sheer force of my tears. idk it is just so special to me it Gets Me i have never felt so seen and i have never ever cried so hard at a movie before and it’s just one of those movies that permanently changed the chemistry of my brain (+mitski in the soundtrack ! hello !) i need to rewatch it so bad actually

2. ratatouille! idk what to say about this one it’s just so nostalgic and such a comfort movie and i could watch it a billion times for the rest of my life and never get bored! the vibes the ambiance the bittersweet ending idk it just is so 🫂🫂🫂🫂 to me just the embodiment of a hug

3. the empire strikes back is also one of the most comfort movies of all time for me !! and IDK i don’t rewatch star wars as much as i should probably because there are so many movies and i get overwhelmed so i’ve seen the others like once or twice each, maybe a few more for a new hope but esb i’ve watched like. a million times EASY. just everything about it!! the iconic ice planet hoth opening and the hanleia moments and everything about luke in this movie is so top tier. such a classic feel and watching it feels like the equivalent of a warm mug of tea for my brain. just also feeling very star wars today so that might be playing into a bit but this movie is just mwah chefs kiss for Me

4. ok this is definitely on here because i just watched it and have been thinking about it nonstop since but i FINALLY !! watched it (2017) (and also the sequel but whatever .) and i can like Feel the neurons in my brain rearranging themselves i get it i get the hype i understand why my mutuals are going crazy all the time i get why people have not shut up about it since it came out I GET IT OK ! IM ON BOARD I AM A SHELL OF THE PERSON I USED TO BE I AM CHANGED FOREVER i am so. yeah

5. probably the perks of being a wallflower not to sound Annoying but every time i watch it i can Feel my soul getting ripped out of my body and shredded to pieces bit by tiny bit. i literally have watched it so many times i know it by heart i KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND YET. i cry every damn time. infp charlie kinnies rise up 😔✊ i think this and eeaao are two movies that are on my Actual For Real Favorite Movies Of All Time list and yes i sob like a baby while watching both of them let’s not think about why all my favorite movies are so sad Ok. idk something about the ending of course but also the scene w sam and charlie in the kitchen of the party and the scene with his brother coming home and the fight in the cafeteria OHH idk. it is just so special to me i could watch it every single day forever and i’d melt from the sheer force of my tears eroding away at my body but it will have been worth it!

anyways. when u sent this i immediately forgot any movie id ever seen in my entire life Oops! i’m usually more of a tv show girlie bc i do not usually have the attention span for movies (especially long ones) but this was very fun and now i want to go watch All Of Them again LOVE U SO MUCH YVIE THANK U FOR THE ASK 🫂

[maudlinbear]

I know I have abandoned this brief whisp of a blog where my goal was to write about music that inspires me.  Unfortunately, sometimes life just gets you down a little too much to keep a pet project going.  However, today, through a rather serendipitous series of events I was privileged to experience a screening of the film Spoiler Alert based on Michael Ausiello’s memoir.  The story resonated with me so much that I was inspired to write down all the feelings and thoughts swirling in my head.  I wanted to write these words in the form of a letter to Michael because in my internal character narrative, it felt only right that I tell the author how impactful their work and story is to me – giving flowers while he can still receive them.  Of course, Michael will probably never read it as he trudges through the masses of letters he will undoubtedly receive after word of this movie spreads, but there’s something to be said about just expressing oneself without expectation of reciprocation, right?  Anywaysssss

~~~~

Dear Michael,

I just got home from a screening of Spoiler Alert.  It’s only been a couple hours, but I think it changed my life?  On the train ride home, I was thinking about how it is now in my top three movies of all time, battling the original animated Beauty and the Beast and Diary of a Mad Black Woman – two movies that hit me at pivotal times in my life to transform the way I see the world.  I keep thinking about that TikTok trend in which the creator stands in front of their camera and then points to areas on the screen where text bubbles list things that permanently altered their brain chemistry.  I keep thinking about it because this movie and your story just did that to me!  I saw so much of myself in Jim Parsons’ portrayal of you, and I related to so many of the feelings and conversations and thoughts on display that I felt validated and seen and hopeful that I was worthy of my own love story.  Tldr: the representation matters cliché holds true!

I am so grateful that I happened to take an Instagram break at work at the exact time that Antoni posted about his theater buyout this evening at the Angelika Theaters, and I’m even more grateful that I was able to show up and actually get a ticket on opening night!  (You never know with these NYC crowds.)  I haven’t seen a movie in a theater in some time.  In fact, I rarely watch movies at all these days since I’m in the midst of a career change and won’t allow myself to indulge in any extracurriculars out of guilt that I’m not working hard enough and I’m taking too many risks living outside my means.  But this ticket was free, I had no plans, and did I mention this ticket was free?  Even better, when I raced out of work to the train, I came upon an OMNY turnstile that was still green for GO!  Someone must have accidentally (or maybe serendipitously) double tapped their phone which meant I was able to save $2.75 and get a free ride to the movie!  In hindsight, that was clearly a lucky sign of positive foreshadowing.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some of the random details of the film that stuck out to me in hopes that they validate or encourage the hard work, love, and care you put into this story.  These are in no particular order – just my stream of consciousness as I’m reliving the movie.  [Editor’s Note - Now that I’ve come down a little from the high of the movie, I’m second guessing myself as I’m editing this letter and realizing that having not read the book yet, I’m assuming the screenplay takes words verbatim from your book.  Oh well, I guess I can caveat myself and just say that I hope that the screenplay is mighty close to your memoir.  If some of my notes are not part of your story, please feel free to still receive the positive energy from which they came.]

First, I loved the many moments of brutally honest conversations, followed by a pause for digesting, and then ending in a thank you for sharing moment rather than a judgement-fueled argument I’ve come to expect in observing similar interactions.  To me this signified a maturity in communication that I found quite refreshing.  I’ve thought a lot about how being gay has contributed to a consistent baseline of anxiety in social situations for me.  But there is a silver lining in that my anxiety has made me hyper self-aware and forced me to mature emotionally more than my peers.  Idk, I’m definitely not equipped to get clinical about the psychology of emotional intelligence, but I just thought that was cool to see. 

Second, I saw myself in so many of your moments of apprehension and was inspired by your conviction in conquering those fears.  I am the one who doesn’t dance, who keeps all their clothes on in every situation, and who refuses to allow anyone visit their apartment.  To see you have those similar feelings and then eventually conquer them gave me a bit of hope that I will someday conquer them too! 

Third, I found the moments of silence and stillness depicted in your relationship to be so beautiful.  The pauses during the first visit to Kit’s apartment as you both were processing what was happening, the burrito shop crying scene, moving from the couch to the bed to lay together, and the first pot experience followed by a gentle intertwining of each other’s fingers – these moments and so many more felt so connected even without words and I really appreciated that.  Maybe those moments were created by the director or a result of the phenomenal performances by Jim and Ben, but I wholeheartedly believe they channeled you and Kit.  And regardless, they were impactful and stunning!

Fourth, the line about being afraid to tell Kit he looked good in khakis because you thought he might leave you made complete sense to me.  I’m slowly unpacking how I live a very fear-based existence, and these words made my heart break not only for you but also for me by exposing my own insecurities.  It was actually that line in the trailer that made me really want to see the movie.  I honestly don’t even think I would have the clarity to realize something like that on my own, but the instant I heard it, I knew that train of thought fit comfortably in the landscape of my mind. 

Fifth, not just a here for the love story, that scene at work where you voice your interest in a Gilmore Girls piece only to be shot down resonated with me as well!  Even beyond just the workplace, I feel like I so often need to adjust my expression of interests and passions to fit into the current environment.  It’s like a survival mechanism or something.  Only recently in therapy have I been realizing and understanding the toll that has taken on me and the tragedy of my resulting lack of sense of self. 

Sixth, the childlike idea and tradition of lying under a Christmas tree and growing old with a partner – that’s mine too!  Well not exactly, but I have had similar daydreams about finding a partner, moving into a cozy home with cute Christmas decor, and then just lying on the floor, starfished on the carpet, heads next to each other, staring at the ceiling, just being together.  I’m sorry that dream of growing old didn’t come true for you with Kit, and it makes me sad to think it might not happen for me either.  But for now, I am reveling in the hope of our shared dream. 

Seventh, I was tickled with those sitcom scenes.  I did not grow up with that specific image for myself, but I did on multiple occasions make decisions based on how I thought it would play out on my future E! True Hollywood Story!  What was I thinking!  Was it naïve?  Or have I just not reached that pivotal breakout moment yet lol.  We shall see.

And finally, eighth (phew!), that deathbed speech/eulogy . . . (in a Trixie voice) honeyyyyyyy.  I was keeping it together and delicately wiping single tears throughout the second half of the movie, but when you crawled into that bed.  Dear me, I was uncontrollably ugly cry-sobbing during that scene.  I don’t know why, but something about a devastatingly sad song, movie scene, or story, just resets me, grounds me, and makes me feel alive.  I don’t know how you were able to even deliver a speech like that, but it was beautiful, powerful, and idk just . . . thank you for sharing it.

So now I’m crying again just thinking about that scene.  Why am I such a mess?  Anyway, moving on.  I first saw the trailer for the film because I follow Jim Parsons.  Seeing a gay love story that spoke to my sad boy, self-deprecating personality immediately intrigued me.  When I learned that it was based on your book, I went out and got a library card and put a hold on the title.  Even though I’m not a big reader, I was excited that even if I never got to see the movie, I could still read your story.  I guess lots of other people had the same idea because weeks later all the copies are still checked out and I have yet to get my hands on the book!  I tell this tidbit to you only because I loved the movie so much that I’m putting the book on my Christmas list, and if nobody gets it for me, I’m just going to splurge and buy the book myself! 

Another tidbit I wanted to share was that recently I had some small talk conversation or watched something on YouTube that reminded me of this phrase I had been obsessed with years ago from this random movie, Win A Date With Tad Hamilton.  Paraphrasing: Kathryn Hahn’s character tells Topher Grace’s character about love, big love, and great love, and great love is the one that changes your life.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about this idea of finding a great love because I believe a great love can power you through anything.  Over the years, I’m afraid my cynicism has told my inner Disney kid dreaming of a fairy tale ending that I am over-romanticizing great love and that it doesn’t happen in real life.  I’m told, “relationships aren’t like the movies”, and I feel like many people will praise (rightfully so) the messy realness of the struggles, the therapy, (the Sebastian) depicted in this film.  However, during your eulogy, you alluded to the great love between you and Kit, and I just can’t tell you how much that healed a little bit of my inner child.  Of course, I understand that real world relationships aren’t always rainbows, but this film and your story renewed my hope that in spite of those obstacles, a great love story can still flourish and still be worthwhile!

Alas, it’s late into the night and I’ve rambled long enough.  If you’ve read this far, I just wanted to again say thank you thank you thank you!  Thank you for sharing your story – the courage and effort to tell such a personal story like this is not lost on me.  I appreciate you profusely.  I can’t wait to watch the movie again, and I can’t wait to read your book!  I wish you all the best, and I hope your dreams come true, whatever they may be!

Sincerely,

David

[sonicranger1]

Rubs my hands evilly Mmmm an excuse to talk about my interests mewhehehe

Definitely gotta mention Sonic the Hedgehog first since 1. It really kick started my passion for drawing ontop of just being something that was atleast in the background of my life growing up and 2. Well- *Looks up at my usernames for any social media I have* ...yeah

Sky: Children of the Light buddy I have been into this game since it first came out in 2019-2020 and it has stuck like extra permanent, gorilla glue in my hair ever since, just everything about this stupid game is FREAKING BEAUTIFUL AND INTRIGUING AND I RECOMMEND THIS GAME SO HARD, IT'S LITERALLY FREE FOR SOME CRAZY REASON BEYOND MY COMPRESSION- ahem uh anyways yeah I gotta stop here or else this entire post will be me ranting about how cool Sky is and how much I love it

Cuphead is another one that helped me drastically with how I wanted to take my art and fan comics like BABQFTIM (ignorethecreatorignorethecreatorignorethecrea-), Casino Cups and Paying the Debt literally changed my brain chemistry

TMNT, specifically TMNT (2007) cuz man, when I first came across that movie when channel scrolling on television my mind was blown by it, was one of my first major exposures to something truly angsty and it stuck with me, I can't even tell you how many times I've rewatched that movie and yelled, cried and mourned the canceled Michelangelo centric sequel of it

Oh yeah and honorable mention to Wild Kratts I guess for little me for when she was obsessed with this one weird "angsty" video about em

Tags: literally anyone can join, I wanna hear about all your guys fandoms

Okay, i'm finally posting this

: ✦ What fandoms were most influential in you throughout your life?

((For me:))

🌙-2013

• PowerPuff Girls

• Bendy and the Ink Machine

• FNAF HS

• Eddsworld

• Hamilton

• Invasor Zim

• Henry Stickmin

• Cookie Run Kingdom

• Los Pilines/un SMP mas

✨-2024

LOVELY MUTUALS AND RANDOM PEOPLE I TAG TO DO THIS TOO BC YES

@anonymoosen @aceisew @ghoul-ish-art @spaceboibrainrot @sandman-0-zzz @laazytoaster @bonbon-rumbling @strawowoberry @momo-roo @circusfreakk @theautumnaldemon @verm1c1de @bonbon-rumbling @aroflowey @crazyufokid @nichiperi @deb-neb @felis-xd

[tchallasbabymama]

M’Baku’s Love- Chapter 3

Let me know if you want to be tagged, and make sure you check out my masterlist HERE for chapters 1& 2 and my other stories. 

Also, just so y’all know, the last scene has paraphrased lines from the movie (which you should definitely go watch if you haven’t yet.)

Enjoy!

Word count: 2392

___________________________________________________

The day of the open house was upon them and M’Baku was more than excited to get to work with Monae some more. The workday crept by and as soon as the clock struck 5 he hurried out of his office and down the two flights of stairs to the arts wing. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was going, but he followed the sound of drums coming from one of the rooms. He walked up to the door and peeked in, seeing Monae teaching a class full of children West African dance. He leaned up against the doorframe and took in her graceful form and mesmerizing hips. He could have stood there and watched her move forever until one of the kids turned and saw him off to the side.

“Hi Mr. M’Baku!”

Monae and the kids turned towards him and greeted him. Monae’s smile was the brightest in the room.

“Hello children, Miss Monae.”

She sent him a small wave as the children surrounded him, all talking at once and all wanting to show him their moves.

“Alright, kiddos, lets all show M’Baku what you’ve been working on before you get out of here, Ok?”

“Ok!” 

The drummers started back up and the kids started to dance, the looks on their little brown faces making Monae smile at their joy. She watched her students with pride as they finished the number and took their bows. She and M’Baku both erupted in applause.

“Very good, class! Ok y’all can go on home now. If you come to the open house make sure you stop by and say hi, Mr. M’Baku here is going to be my assistant for the evening.”

The kids grabbed their bags to head home, some of them stopping to hug Monae and M’Baku on the way out to their guardians. M’Baku was taken aback since he had not had enough experience around young children to know they have no concept of personal space. Monae laughed at the confused look on his face, a near permanent fixture he was becoming used to by being in this new land. He was just happy he could make her smile. 

After the last child ran out, almost tripping over her shoelaces, Monae introduced M’Baku to her drummers Kehinde and Rodney. They bonded for a bit before Rodney slid out of the way to let M’Baku play his drum.

Monae couldn’t help but move with the way he struck the beautifully made instrument.. Her feet and hips took on a life of their own and she let the beat carry her however it saw fit. M’Baku already thought her choreographed dances were beautiful, but this? Her natural movement called to him as he moved her body with each stroke of his hands. Neither one of them were sure how long they were going for, but Rodney had to clear his throat to break the trance.

“Hey so I uh, I gotta head out. Sorry to interrupt whatever that was.” He pointed between the two, obviously picking up on the chemistry.

“Yeah, no, y’all get outta here. It’s late anyway. See you tomorrow?” 

“Of course.”

“See ya Monae, byyyeeee M’Baku.” Rodney and Kehinde snickered as they left the room.

“So, what first?” M’Baku asked, still coming down from the high he just experienced with her.

“Woo, sorry, let me uh catch my breath real quick...you’re good.” She gestured towards the drum.

“So are you,” he gestured towards her body and she cracked a smile.

“I’m aware.” She walked around him to the other side of the room to start straightening up the space. He joined in and the room was spotless in minutes.

“So,” she clapped. “I figured since the kids love you so much you’d be great at keeping them busy while the adults talk to me. Nakia brought us a bunch of Wakandan children’s books, so how about you read to the kids? You have to do voices though, if you don’t do voices I’m putting you somewhere else.” She was dead serious.

“What kind of monster does not change their voice to read to children?” M’Baku asked incredulously.

Monae’s mind flashed to two years ago when she asked Derrick to do something similar at the after school program where she volunteered. He just read it straight like it was a speech, and the kids were restless. It was a nightmare.

“You would be surprised. Ok so take a look through these and see if any jump out at you,” she handed him the crate full of books and he thumbed through them.

“I do not see any Jabari books,” he pulled out a small notepad and began scribbling his thoughts down.

“You don’t use the beads like the others?” 

“I could, but it is unnecessary technology for the most part.”

Monae nodded, remembering that the Jabari preferred to live analog. 

“Let me run this by you real quick, and you tell me what you think,” Monae started as he turned to give her his full attention. “I have sooooo many Wakandan beads I need to get rid of, so how about I set up a jewelry station across the hall? Just some beads and string, nothing too fancy. Then over in the paint lab I was thinking of using these extra textile scraps and old magazines to make mixed media collages. For the last station I have like a million gourds for the kids to paint, and I figured they could do that next door. I have three volunteers set up at each station, so don’t worry, you’ll have help with the kids. I wouldn’t just throw you to the wolves like that.” She winked at him as M’Baku nodded along, processing everything she said.

“This is not my specialty, but that sounds like a good plan to me.”

“What is your specialty?”

“I am a man of many talents, as you can see, but I am a warrior above all else.”

Her cheeks felt hot as she tried to quiet the damsel in distress inside her brain. She cleared her throat and changed the subject.

“You mentioned that there aren’t any Jabari stories in here. You don’t have to use the books if you’d rather go off the cuff with it.”

M’Baku’s gap toothed smile shone through as his theatrical side woke up from its slumber. 

“You might regret that later.” 

______

The children loved M’Baku so much they barely touched the crafts Monae had set up for them. He regaled the kids, and the adults, with Jabari folktales about snowmen and giant gorillas and how the Jabari came to be.

“And then the Jabari left for the mountains. For centuries, the Jabari and the rest of Wakanda were angry at each other until-“

“Why?” interrupted a kid with his front two teeth missing.

“Well because the Jabari cared more for tradition and old ways, but the Wakandans wanted everything shiny and new. They argued so much they had to move away to keep the peace, and that is when Hanuman guided the Jabari to the mountains.”

“Who’s Hanuman?” asked a little girl with beaded cornrows.

“The god who guides and protects us.”

“My mama says theres only one god and his name ain’t Hanuman,” she responded with an attitude. Some of the parents and kids nodded along in agreement. 

“Well, you see, your mother is simply wrong-”

“Ok, that's enough for now. Let's give Mr. M’Baku a round of applause for storytime, huh?” Monae interrupted before things got too heated, and the crowd clapped for their griot. 

People wandered in and out of the room for the next couple hours, enjoying the crafts and M’Baku’s storytime. Monae kept everything running smoothly, including refilling M’Baku’s water bottle multiple times to keep his voice strong.  Shortly before closing time T’Challa wandered into the room and sat with the children listening to the same stories M’Baku had told so many times that night Monae could recite them herself. When it was over and the last guest had left the center all the staff and volunteers breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I think that went well!” M’Baku said, his voice hitching from overuse.

“Drink some more. Oh yeah, they absolutely loved you. You know T’Challa recorded your dramatics while he was here? You could win a Tony with that performance.” Monae gushed, proud of her, uh, friend. 

“Who?”

“It's an award for stage actors. I’ll make you a list like the one Captain America had.”

“What sort of list?”

“Of pop culture and historical things you should know. He spoke about it in an interview a few years ago and I thought ‘that’s brilliant, I’d do that too’ but I never had the chance...until now.”, her excitement was palpable. 

“That is a good idea, I will have to commend him on that the next time I see him.”

Monae froze.

“I’m sorry, you know Captain America?”

“Well yes, he and some other Avengers have been to Wakanda a couple times.”

Monae was speechless. She’d had a huge crush on Steve Rogers ever since he defrosted.

“I- what’s he like?” she asked, barely forming words.

M’Baku found her obvious fawning amusing and wondered if this is how she would look if she spoke about him to others. 

“He is nice,” M’Baku said before leaning in a little closer. “Especially for a colonizer.”

Monae cackled and they continued to straighten up the room. Once the area was sufficiently cleaned for the night, the two headed out to their cars. Monae yawned as they packed her little electric car full of art supplies.

“It seems it is past your bedti-” he was cut off by the sound of his stomach trying to climb out his body. “Well, then.”

They broke out into laughter, only subsiding when her stomach answered the mating call.

“Would you like to accompany me to dinner? It will be my treat. I was planning on going to The V Spot for some more jackfruit tacos.”

“Mmm, they have these vegan nachos that I would sell my arm for, but I’m so tired I’ll probably fall asleep on you. Next time?” she sent him an apologetic grin. 

“Next time it is, then.”

Monae turned to get into her car before stopping and turning back around to face him.

“You know what? I think I have one good hour left in me. Let’s meet there.”

_____

Both of them were too tired to speak, especially since M’Baku had done enough talking that night to warrant a week of silence. M’Baku paid for their food and they left, still in comfortable silence until reaching the sidewalk.

“Let me walk you home, you should not be out here by yourself.”

“M’Baku I can literally see my building from here.”

“And? Anything could happen between here and there. I would never forgive myself!”

The butterflies in her stomach were in full flight mode, and her face grew hot. She playfully rolled her eyes at him and turned away to mask her blushing face.

“Ok fine.” She said with faux reluctance. She wanted nothing more than to spend every moment she could with this man, but the ring weighing down her finger made it challenging. She knew she shouldn’t feel this way, but Derrick is always out of town on business and she can feel the relationship slipping away. Even before M’Baku swooped in, her feelings for her fiance had started to dwindle. However, she did enjoy spending time with M’Baku and she figured there’d be no harm in taking the short stroll between The V Spot and her place.

“So, which direction?” M’Baku asked and Monae pointed to the right before they slowly took off down the street, arm in arm, in silence once again before Monae spoke up two minutes later.

“Well, this is me.” 

They both just stood there, not knowing how to end the night.

“I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow?”

“Of course...I will say though, where I am from when you walk someone home from a date there is usually a goodnight kiss involved.”

She was stunned at his forwardness, and she could feel her pulse all over her body.

“But I guess this was not really a date, huh?”

“Um, n-no. M’Baku you know I’m engaged.” She said, looking down.

“Yes, but do you?” his eyes narrowed and he tilted his head as stepped closer to her. She didn’t move away, so he took another step forward so that their bodies were almost pressed together. 

“It was date-like.” she conceded.

He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her in tight, closing the tiny gap of space left between the two of them. Her hands found their way to his chest and his other hand came up to tilt her chin upwards before he placed a light kiss on her lips and let her go. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked over his face. She took in his prominent brow and his strong jaw, his pillowy lips and his soft eyes. He was a giant wall of a man and she couldn’t get enough of how he felt up against her, 

“That’s it?” she teased before pulling him back and making him lean down into a deeper kiss. His hands rested respectfully at the small of her back despite his desire to explore her body more, and hers rested around his neck for the same reason. They broke away quickly when the door of the apartment building opened and an older man walked out with his dog, undoubtedly to go on a nighttime walk around the neighborhood before retiring for the night. He looked at them and shook his head before mumbling something under his breath about heathens. 

They looked back at each other and broke out laughing. 

“You should go,” Monae said softly while fiddling with his collar.

“I do not want to,” he whispered.

“I know, but-”

“You are engaged. I know,” he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “Goodnight Monae.”

“Goodnight M’Baku, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He waited for her to get inside before turning around and heading back the way they came to make the short journey to his temporary home. The entire walk back, he hummed along to an unwritten love song in his head with a goofy smile on his face. He could still taste her and, by Hanuman, he wanted more.

Next Chapter

[weretheoneswhowrite]

Getting to know you....

We at WTOWW have got a real treat for all of our faithful readers!  We have a fun and exciting series that we're excited to debut today!

Want to know what's your favorite writers process for cranking out these engaging stories? Want to know how they build such realistic worlds and impressive dialogue?

Well now you can as we asked our talented spectrum of writers a few questions that will help you get to know them better.

These ladies really put in the work to bring you the stories we all love to obsess over and WTOWW are very happy we took the time to get to know them so much better!

First up we have @jonesywrites​ aka Kendra. She is a heavy hitter and a permanent marker in the Richonne Fanfiction hall of fame for her pieces like Bad Thangs,  Machine Heart and Vantage Point and a host of other great stories that are not limited to only the Richonne Fandom. Her talent for world building is really unmatched, it was fun getting to pick her brain.

So take a few moments to relax, let's get to know Kendra a little better.

Why is Richonne so fun to write?

 “I'm a huge romantic. Richonne's chemistry has always been so intense on screen, which is exactly what drew me to them. Exploring that chemistry in my writing is a total thrill because so much of my writing relies on details that the actors give me in abundance. Getting those details right (true to what you see on screen) makes me sooo happy as a writer.”

Do you have a writing schedule? 

“Ha! I wish I did. I'm all over the place. It's hard to find the time to really dive in, so I'm stuck writing a paragraph here or there during the work week. I try to devote at least one day or a few hours on the weekends, but there's always so much to do, so I can only really update every now and then. It's a miracle if I can get back to back updates done.”

What is your editing process?

“ I will rewrite something a hundred times until I feel it captures what I want to convey perfectly. It takes me a long time to finish an update because I'm constantly going back to re-read it and edit it as I write.”

What drew you to fanfiction?

 “I've been a writer since I was a little girl, but when it came to the stories I watched or read, I was always thinking of the characters I liked doing things that had nothing to do with the original plot. Scenes would come like visions in my head while going about my day or trying to sleep. Someone told me about fanfiction when I was in college and I decided to just go for it. Been hooked ever since.”

What has writing fanfiction taught you about being a writer?

 “It has taught me humility, not to compare myself to others (to find my own unique voice and stay true to it), and it has helped me better understand my strengths and weaknesses as a storyteller. I move at my own pace but in my opinion taking time to focus on the things that make me a happy reader makes me a better writer.”

Who outside the fandom knows you write fanfiction? 

“Not many people. Close friends. It's still not something people take seriously within the circles I work in. Being a copywriter, living in Hollywood trying to become a television writer, you just don't admit to writing fanfiction. At least not unless you intend to make a big joke out of it and get major side-eye for your trouble. ::shrug:: So I don't talk about it.”

How many people know you're a writer? 

“Everyone I meet. I write for work, and I network a lot with folks out here trying to do what I am trying to do -- get into a television writer's room. It's an intrinsic part of me that I will always lead with. "Hello, my name is Kendra and I am a writer."

Where do you see your writing taking you? 

“Hopefully to creating my own shows or finally finishing my first book. Time will tell.”

Do you have advice for writers just starting out?

 “Don't give up. Find your voice and stay true to it. Don't compare yourself to others, it's a waste of time. Their voice is not yours. People want to read what you have to say, specifically you. Only you can say it your way, so find your way and go for it. Ask questions, lots of questions, of other writers because we're a community and we want to see each other succeed. Tell the story you want to read, not the story everyone else thinks you should tell.”

What do you wish you knew before posting your first chapter?

 “I wish that I knew how to manage my time better. Heh.”

How many writing playlists do you have? Does your music have to change with what you write?

“ I make a playlist for every story I write that encapsulates that story's mood/world. I've been doing this for years, there's no other way for me. I must have music to write to and I must share it with my readers. Everything I publish was written to a musical score. They're all available on Spotify, too. Just look for the title of the fic or my user name, kendrawriter.”

How many projects do you have going on right now?

“ I have quite a few, it's all a jumble. Four open Richonne fics, one open WestAllen fic, a tv script and the tentative start to a young adult novel. Ehhhhhhh....I know. I know.”

Have you ever written a scene that’s made you cry? 

“Once, in my first Doctor Who fic, Nightfall. An original character in that story that I based off of my grandmother died in the story. My grandma was very ill at the time and we feared the worst (she passed away a couple of year ago). Writing her death scene was tough. To this day I'm not sure why I did that to myself, but at the time it made sense for the drama of the plot.”

Where do you get your best story ideas?

“I take inspiration from literally everything. My best ideas have come from me just really wanting to see something and obsessing over how to write it until it's in the story. But I base a lot of things off movie or TV references from all the many, many I've watched since childhood. Machine Heart, for example, blends about 100 references from all my favorite sc-fi stuff -- Star Trek, Aliens, Black Mirror, Terminator, The Matrix, Strange Days, The Fifth Element, the list goes on...”

Do you have a solution for when you’re stuck? 

“Just let it pass. It happens all the time, and over the years I've learned to just let it happen until I'm inspired again. Because once I'm inspired again, I go into THE ZONE and I'll write like crazy for days on end.”

What does WTOWW mean to you?

“ It's a community for me. It's full of really amazing, kind, funny, smart, talented women that I'm beyond grateful to know. Also, it's an opportunity to give less known writers a platform, and dive into some great writing prompts I otherwise wouldn't think of.”

Thank you Kendra for taking the time to share your story. 

-We’re The Ones Who Write

[cinemagnetic-yuyu]

The Spectrum of Identity

She’s a Boy I Knew and how demarcations do more harm than good

When Gwen Haworth came out as a trans female lesbian to her family and friends, her confession was met with shock, but no real opposition. Her wife Malgosia was more concerned over the fact Gwen hid this important part of her identity from her for so long, but eventually understood and helped her get through the transition. Gwen’s parents had quite the conservative background, growing up religious in a time that didn’t have the current ideas of gender and sexuality we do now, so they at first were understandably confused and afraid, thinking it was something they could have prevented or should have seen, fearing for her life and safety (with good reason), but when they understood what it all meant, they were much more accepting and supportive than expected, forcing themselves to get used to using Gwen instead of her dead name Steve.

What allowed Gwen to transition and live her life as her true self is what allowed everyone to not only accept but truly love her not for what she was but who she is: an understanding that identity is a spectrum, and that to be human is not to be a specific point in that range but a kind of sub-spectrum of our own. We are too complex to be labelled as just one thing; there aren’t enough words in any language to describe any one individual. The acceptance of gender as a spectrum is a new idea, but it is psychologically and biologically backed, and people are starting to truly understand who they are and where they fit in all this.

This idea of identity as a spectrum extends beyond gender, too. She’s a Boy I Knew is a movie that delves into the concept of identity as a spectrum and fully embraces the validity and beauty of not fitting into the standard or expectation, a fluidity that is central to our being human yet so often frowned upon. Here are some aspects of identity that should never be dichotomized or demarcated.

Abilities

Oftentimes, we associate certain jobs to certain personalities, and thus cannot imagine people simultaneously having two occupations with clashing “characters”. But humans are complex creatures with multifaceted psyches, and part of the innate creativity of man is that all of us can do multiple things well. That’s because all disciplines and pursuits are interconnected and overlapped, and our minds aren’t segmented but meshed together in a similar way. Why is the idea of a scientist-model or doctor-illustrator or programmer/dancer so jarring, when all of these are simply different forms of the same human creativity? There’s no reason a person can’t do more than one thing. The concept of division of labor, originally a means to allow the growth of a society in all aspects from the economic and political to the artistic and scientific, has become a limiting force on a world of systems and connectivity. There’s more than enough people in the world for us all to do more than one thing and still have the productivity we need to progress. I’d argue that removing the idealization of specialization would in fact advance societies faster and more permanently, while allowing for individual self-actualization.

Intelligence and Creativity

The US seems to really, really love the concept of the IQ (Intelligence Quotient), and having a low IQ immediately brands someone as stupid. But while the IQ measures certain aspects of intelligence, like picking up context or observing patterns, it can’t measure much else, especially not creativity, which is in itself the culmination of intelligence. Every now and then news pops up of some kid having a higher IQ than Einstein’s, but it doesn’t mean they can do what he did, because Einstein’s genius is not a measurable kind of intelligence.

Intelligence comes in many forms–creativity, artistry, imagination, talent, perception, wit, insight, understanding, reasoning–all of which blend and melt into each other to form the complex workings of the human mind. It inherently cannot be measured. To treat technical intelligence as incompatible with artistic ability stems from a severe misunderstanding of what intelligence is. Some perfectly intelligent individuals seem to have no place in the world because society is an amorphous system haphazardly divided into rigid shapes that isn’t flexible enough for the human mind. Do away with the IQ, the high school tracks, the right-brain-left-brain hypothesis, and I guarantee the freedom of thought will advance societies faster than ever.

Gender Roles

Aside from gender itself, gender roles are infinitely fluid and really can easily be taken out of the social paradigm without much negative effect. In fact, they tend to be harmful when taken too seriously, to the point where biological sex somehow becomes a predetermining factor for hobbies, interests, and occupations. Gender roles extend to personality as well; males and females are not biologically different enough to have a great personality difference, so any observable difference in the population probably comes from societal norms and not from hormones and genes. To address gender roles as a fluid spectrum allows an equalization of genders in any discipline, which in a practical sense increases productivity and efficiency. It also is the key to a healthy work-life balance for partners in a marriage or relationship, since both help around the house and take care of children as well as pursue their individual careers. It also prevents any one gender from taking advantage of individuals of minority or socially repressed genders. Women hold up half the sky, so give them the tools to do it.

Disciplines

My biochemistry professor once told me that just a few decades ago, it was unheard of to teach physics topics in a chemistry class, or vice versa. The reductionist method was just recently evolved into systems biology, a holistic approach to studying biology as an interaction of parts. As more and more discoveries are made, it’s impossible to deny the natural interconnectedness of things. Now, it’s paramount to relate various fields to each other to truly understand a certain concept or idea. The atom cannot be fully understood without an idea of quantum physics and an appreciation of how these building blocks make up life.

Philosophy majors get a lot of flak, but philosophy is where all sciences are born, and where they all lead back to in the end. Theoretical physics is beginning to question the existence of God and the nature of the universe, anthropology began as an outside description of tribal peoples but ends as a question of what it means to be human, and chemistry has gone from understanding the natural world to trying to change it in marvelous ways that benefit humanity. Creativity comes in so many forms, from visual arts, performing arts, natural sciences, engineering, philosophy, social sciences, and the like, but they all are fields fueled by the same energy of the human mind, and so to separate them from each other would be to sell ourselves short. Everything ever discovered, imagined, and invented–the light bulb, the rocket, the theory of everything, the structure of DNA–is as artistic as it is scientific.

Identity

It is a liberating feeling to see yourself as a spectrum, to stop focusing on the labels given to you and start reinventing yourself as the person you really are. Make the most of all the abilities you have, and study the world as a system and not a set of points. Whatever you make is the product of everything that you are. Humans are too complex for just one of anything, after all, so just do it all.

Images from popoptiq.com, fandor.com, ParentMap.com, edX.org, amust.com.au, careerconnections.nj.gov, abia-state-uni.net