#the most handsome i will ever draw him lmao

[pink-key]

Can I give Toby a kiss?

You can smooch him, hug him, but it's a deadly deal, nobody else would know you did that..

[fantasyescapes17]

Manners (Part 1)

Viscount Joshua Hong is by far the most eligible bachelor in London. Rich, handsome, and renowned for his excellent manners and refined tastes. Young woman would kill for the chance to be the Viscount's chosen bride. But nobody can quite determine which of the young ladies he prefers, and you are beginning to have your doubts. Is the Viscount really as gentlemanly as the ton seems to think?

Genre: Joshua Hong x Female!reader. Regency!AU (It's sort of Bridgerton-esque in the sense that I give zero attention to historical accuracy and prioritize aesthetics lmao) You are a sibling to all the Lees (Woozi, DK, Dino) so your last name is Lee but the reader has no other specific characteristics, physical or otherwise.

Word Count: 3.2k+

Part 2

Series Masterlist [I would highly recommend reading the earlier stories in this series, Patience, and Candle, before this one but it's not strictly necessary.]

It was a warm evening in June when your life suddenly changed. 

You had, at that point, been out in London society for almost two years without having received a single marriage proposal. Being the third child and eldest daughter of the Lee family, your responsibilities were far greater than your charms. 

Most young ladies your age possessed a bountiful dowry and carefully developed talents to attract a husband. Instead, you possessed the responsibility of managing five siblings, an absentee father, and a mediocre dowry. Only three of the siblings were younger than you (but really, from the way he sometimes behaved, Seokmin might as well have been younger than you). 

Mr. Lee (your father) was often away and busy managing affairs of the estate. He had ceased to care for society or matrimony since the death of your beloved mother. The responsibility of ensuring your siblings were raised well had naturally fallen on you, the eldest daughter. You did not entirely resent the circumstances. You loved all your siblings equally- even sullen Jihoon and cheeky little Chan- but your future was quite clear. 

You would probably end up an old maid. 

Or you would have, if not for that fateful June evening when Viscount Joshua Hong appeared unannounced on the doorstep of your London home. 

—----------------------------------------------------------

The kitchens were in an uproar. 

“These noblemen are quite careless!” the cook cried out as she struggled angrily to light the large coal fire. “To come around unannounced for dinner-the Viscount, you say- oh, what am I supposed to serve him? I was going to prepare a simple soup and fish for the family supper but that will certainly not suffice for a Viscount!”

You tried in vain to calm the cook. 

“Really, Dotty, it is all right- I am sure the Viscount will not demand anything more than what we usually eat,” you told her gently. 

“Of course he will not demand it- I am quite aware that the Viscount Joshua Hong has the most excellent manners. He should likely eat stale bread without complaint if we served it to him. But how would I ever be able to live with myself if I did that? Oh- how unfortunate that the Viscount should come for supper on the one night when there is no venison to be had…”

There was no calming the cook down. You sighed. 

“Dotty, I must go upstairs to dress for dinner. Please do not worry and serve whatever you are able. The Viscount is a good friend of Jihoon and he will not mind a simple supper after having arrived unannounced.” 

Dotty gave you a miserable look. “I should very much have liked to serve the Viscount my venison pie…”

You laughed. “I shall ask Jihoon to invite him to dinner again soon; and you shall be told well in advance so that you can serve your venison pie. But soup and fish will do for tonight.” 

“Yes, miss…” 

You left the kitchens through the back entrance and hurried up to the bedchambers through a side corridor; carefully avoiding the drawing room where Viscount Hong sat in conversation with your father and older brothers. 

It was perfectly understandable that Dotty had panicked when the Viscount suddenly appeared at the doorstep of your London home to call on your brothers. 

Viscount Joshua Hong was not only one of the richest noblemen in London, he was also the most handsome eligible bachelor. He was the epitome of impeccable manners and fine breeding. The entire ton had been waiting with bated breath ever since it had become public knowledge that he was in search of a wife. 

You could not deny that you were equally curious. Any young lady that could catch the eye of Viscount Hong would surely be perfection incarnate. You could not think of a single woman that could compare. Perhaps the Duchess of Graham? Even she did not possess Viscount Hong's excellent manners. 

As you reached the top of the stairs, you discovered that the entrance to your bedroom was barred by two of your younger siblings. Chan looked upset and angry, while little Nessie looked delighted. 

You took a deep breath and prepared yourself for the onslaught. 

“Why am I not allowed to sit with the gentleman downstairs?” demanded Chan, at the same time that Nessie cried, “Is it true Viscount Hong is here? Does he really have a golden carriage?"

You ushered them into your room before their loud voices could carry downstairs to the drawing room. 

"You are not yet old enough to sit with the gentlemen," you told Chan firmly, before turning to Nessie. "Yes, Viscount Hong is here and you will be allowed to see him at supper. No, his carriage is not made of real gold."

"I'm sixteen-" Chan protested.

"Sixteen is not old enough."

"It's too old to be sitting upstairs with the girls," Chan insisted with a pout. 

You sighed. "Stay upstairs for now. After supper, if Father permits, you may sit with the gentlemen," you told him. "Now go dress for supper quickly. Both of you."

You called for your maid to help you dress and then wrestled little Nessie and Lily into appropriate gowns. Fortunately, Chan managed to make himself look presentable on his own and you were able to get them all downstairs in time for supper.

The gentlemen were already seated for dinner; your father at the head of the table and Viscount Hong to his right along with your brothers- Mr. Lee Jihoon and Mr. Lee Seokmin. 

"Remember to curtsey," you reminded your little sisters quietly. 

They both curtsied prettily for the benefit of Viscount Hong, who greeted you and your younger siblings warmly with a handsome smile and bright eyes. He was characteristically patient when little Lily suddenly threw a tantrum and insisted on being allowed to sit beside him. 

"I will sit beside the Viscount, you never allow me to sit beside the Viscount!" Lily cried, stomping your feet. You laughed nervously, taking your six-year old sister gently by the arm. 

"Come now, Lily, I've told you before that you must behave when we have company-" you scolded lightly. 

"I should very much like to sit beside Lily," Viscount Hong said with a kind smile, before turning to your father quickly. "Unless, sir, you should have any objection."

Your father waved a hand dismissively. "Let the child sit where she likes, we must get on with dinner."

Jihoon surrendered his seat to little Lily and moved around the table to sit beside you instead. You lowered your voice and mumbled in a low voice to your elder brother. 

"Of course we are delighted to have the Viscount here for dinner, it's not that anyone dislikes his company," you mumbled. "But perhaps you could ask him to give us notice next time? Dotty was quite a mess about what to serve for dinner."

Jihoon coughed into his napkin. 

"I don't know why he is even here," your brother whispered. "It's quite unlike Joshua. He is usually incredibly well-mannered but really, neither Seokmin nor I invited him here tonight and he simply won't leave."

You looked at your brother in surprise- you had thought that the Viscount was surely here to discuss urgent business with your brothers or father. 

"Oh…"

The servants entered with dinner, so your conversation with Jihoon was cut short. You were forced to turn your attention to the Viscount, who sat opposite you and was listening patiently to a fairy tale that Lily was reciting. 

"Lily, stop boring the Viscount," Chan scolded her lightly. He turned to the older gentleman with bright eyes. "Viscount Hong, is it true that you have five thoroughbred horses and three pure white Arabian horses in your stables? And that the Arabians were brought from overseas?"

Joshua smiled. "Yes, that is correct. Are you interested in horses, Chan?"

Chan flushed. "I've studied them a little."

"He's studied them far more than he's studied mathematics," you said lightly. Chan frowned but Viscount Hong's dark eyes flickered towards you in amusement. He gave you a small smile. 

"I see your sister doesn't like your interest in horses," Joshua remarked.

"My sister doesn't like anything interesting," Chan complained and you nearly choked on your soup in embarrassment before giving your younger brother a stern look.

"Chan! "

But Joshua only turned to look at you with his usual kind smile. "If you can vouch for Chan having completed his mathematics, Miss Lee, then I should be glad to invite him to visit our stables next week to see the horses."

Chan's eyes widened in delight and he jumped out of his seat. 

"Viscount Hong, would you really-"

"I believe the Viscount said the invitation was dependent upon you completing your mathematics," you reminded your brother calmly. "So sit down and finish your dinner. And thank you, Viscount Hong, I would not want us to intrude upon your hospitality."

Viscount Hong smiled. "I do not consider it an intrusion. It is the least I can do."

"We are grateful, all the same."

Your father cleared his throat as he finished his soup. The senior Mr. Lee was not generally a social man, but even he could not ignore the need to engage in polite conversation when there was a man of such noble standing as the Viscount at his table. 

"Were you in attendance at the Hastings' ball yesterday, Viscount Hong?" your father asked. "My children tell me it was quite a wonderful event. And since you are looking for a wife, I suppose attending these events is of more importance than ever."

Joshua nodded respectfully at your father.

"Indeed, sir, I was in attendance. In fact- I was fortunate enough to have danced once with your daughter," Joshua replied with a small smile. 

You nodded. Viscount Hong was very much an in-demand dance partner, but you were grateful that he had still asked you to dance with him a number of times over the course of the season. You knew better than to read too much into a mere dance, however. Joshua also regularly danced with plenty of women far more eligible than you- Miss Jeon, the Duchess of Graham, Miss Williams, Miss Yoon…

It was a long list that you did not care to repeat. 

Mr. Lee nodded. "Yes- I am sure my daughter is quite grateful for your company."

You flushed in embarrassment at the implication that the Viscount had danced with you out of pity, but the topic of conversation was quickly rerouted by Chan- who had been unable to take his mind off the horses. 

"Viscount Hong, when you said that I might visit your stables next week," Chan pressed eagerly. "Which day of the week were you suggesting, as I have my lessons on Thursdays…"

You frowned. "Chan!"

Viscount Hong laughed. "It is quite all right, Miss Lee. Shall we say Wednesday, Chan?"

"Wednesday sounds excellent…"

The supper passed in a pleasant manner. Joshua's unannounced arrival was certainly not convenient but you had to admire how smoothly the gentleman blended himself into your family supper. He was polite, but without showing any of the airs and superiority that someone of his station could have displayed around your family. 

He showed enthusiasm for Lily's stories, patiently answered Chan's questions about horses and even joked around with Jihoon and Seokmin, whom he had known for many years. You knew that Viscount Joshua Hong was as far, far, far out of your reach as a man could possibly be but…

Well, there was no harm in silently admiring such a wonderful specimen of the opposite gender, was there? 

You ushered your sisters upstairs to bed after dinner. Chan, stubborn as ever, insisted on being allowed to stay in the drawing room while the gentlemen smoked a pipe. You left him be: disciplining Chan was quite out of your hands and you had decided that you would begin to leave it to Jihoon. 

You had just put the girls to bed and were about to undress for bed yourself when there was a frantic knocking at your door.

You opened the door, startled. 

"Chan?" 

Your brother was pink in the face and his eyes wide as he squeezed inside your room and closed the door behind him. 

"Shhh! You will not believe what is happening downstairs!" Chan hissed. 

You raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"We were all in the drawing room- and suddenly Viscount Hong and Father went into Father's study alone. Even Jihoon and Seokmin agreed that it was extremely strange for them to go off alone so I snuck into the study to listen in on their conversation and-"

"Chan!" you scolded him. "You cannot be eavesdropping on Father's-"

"You may scold me later! Only listen for now- Viscount Hong has asked father for permission to offer for your hand!" Chan whisper-yelled. 

You froze. 

"Sorry, my what?" you asked. 

"Your hand," Chan repeated. "In marriage?" he added unhelpfully. 

Your face felt hot. "Don't be foolish. You must have misunderstood their conversation. Viscount Hong would certainly marry a woman more suited to his station. To even suggest otherwise is nonsense-"

Chan looked angry. "I know what I heard, sister! He clearly said 'I seek your blessing to offer for your daughter's hand'- and surely, he is not intending to marry Lily!"

"He is not intending to marry me either-"

There was another sharp knock on your door and both you and Chan jumped, startled. You opened it to find a maid standing outside and she greeted you with a bow. 

"Miss Lee- your father has requested you to come downstairs to his study."

—-----------------------------------------------

You went downstairs in a mixture of disbelief and anxiety. It was impossible that Viscount Joshua Hong had made an offer for your hand- Chan meant well but he was hardly the most brilliant young boy of his age. He had clearly misunderstood something. 

You entered your father's study anxiously. 

"Father?"

Mr. Lee stood from his desk. Joshua was seated quietly on a chair across from it- his expression was unreadable. 

"Ah-daughter. Here you are. I believe the Viscount has something to say to you. I am afraid I left my pipe in the drawing room so I shall return to it. You may both converse here in my study."

And your father briskly left the room, closing the study door behind him and leaving you entirely alone with Viscount Hong. 

Oh no. 

Oh no. 

"Miss Lee?" Viscount Hong asked you gently as you stared frozen at the now closed study door. He stood and stepped closer to you. "Would you like to take a seat?"

You turned to face him sharply. 

"What is the meaning of this?" you demanded. 

Viscount Hong gave you a small smile. He seemed a little surprised by your sharp reaction but reached for your bare hand- you were not wearing gloves so his soft fingers glided over your knuckles- and gently drew you closer to himself. 

"Miss Lee. I suppose the present circumstances make my object in speaking to you here quite evident, but I will still pose the question to you," Joshua said slowly. His hand pressed yours. "Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

You felt faint. You could not make sense of what was happening. 

"But-but…" you stuttered awkwardly. "But why?"

Joshua looked taken aback. 

"Why?" he repeated. 

"Why would you want to marry me?" you cried.

Joshua let out a small, bewildered laugh. Your question seemed to amuse him. "Well- for the very reasons that any man would want to marry a woman, I suppose. For love! Should I perhaps have started with that instead of directly jumping to marriage?"

"Yes-I mean no-, I mean…" you trailed off and pulled your hand out of his grasp before moving to learn against the study table. "Oh my god, I feel rather faint."

Joshua followed you, concerned. 

"Do you need help-"

"I am fine," you brushed him off. Your heart was beating at an unnaturally fast rate and you worried that it might suddenly explode in your chest. "I just… I don't really know what to say…"

Joshua took a step back from you warily. 

"Am I to understand from your reaction," he began slowly and carefully, "that my affections are unwelcome?"

"No, not… not unwelcome, exactly, more shocking," you replied hastily. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down and digest this strange situation that you had suddenly been thrust into. "Viscount Hong, do you expect me to believe that out of all the beautiful, talented and rich young ladies of the ton, you are in love with me?"

The Viscount slowly kneeled in front of you and took your hand into his once more, with a soft smile. 

"I thought you would have noticed my affections. Perhaps I concealed them better than I imagined. I believed that my admiration for you was quite evident," Joshua said quietly. 

"Clearly it was not," you told him firmly. "I have it on quite good authority that there is a running bet in the assembly rooms regarding which young lady the eligible Viscount Hong will propose to by the end of the season, and I can tell you with absolute confidence that not a single person has put their money on me! Even Seokmin has placed his bet on the Duchess of Graham!"

Joshua took a deep breath and nodded. 

"I see my mistake."

"Do you?" you asked weakly. 

"Yes," Joshua replied simply. He stood up and stepped back from you. "I thought it was prudent to be a little more… guarded about displaying my affections for you in public but I see now that I should not have held back so much. You did not even realise you were being courted."

You stared at him. "I… I do not think anyone realised, Viscount Hong."

Joshua's cheeks flushed pink. "Yes- well. Allow me to remedy my mistake. I will retract my offer for your hand for the moment, Miss Lee, as I see now that I have been hasty. And instead, I seek permission to enter into a formal courtship with you."

"Ah…"

"I will court you for one month before I will ask you once again to marry me," Joshua continued. "And if by then you still do not believe my affections for you are true, I will accept your rejection as gracefully as I can."

You still could not believe it. The image- the thought of yourself marrying Viscount Joshua Hong simply would not manifest completely in your mind. Even when you closed your eyes for a brief moment and tried to picture Viscount Hong at the altar, you still saw him with women more suited to his station- the Duchess of Graham, Miss Jeon, Miss Williams…

"Do you really love me?" you asked him weakly. You hated how exposed and vulnerable you felt in this moment, looking up at this man that was better than you in every conceivable way. "Me? Out of all the more eligible young ladies in the ton… you are quite sure you wish to marry me?"

Joshua stepped forward and seized your hand before bringing it up to his lips. His fingers pressed softly but firmly against your knuckles. 

"I am sorry," he told you kindly, his dark eyes shining in the dimly lit study. "If I  have made you feel unworthy."

You swallowed. "It is not… it is not that you have made me feel unworthy, only-"

"Yes. I wish to marry you, and only you, Miss Lee. By the end of this month, I shall ensure that you will never again question my love or commitment towards you."

He turned and left your study. 

And so began, on a warm June night, your courtship with Viscount Joshua Hong- the most elite and sought-after bachelor in London.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: As always, thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts or inputs!

Since Wonwoo and Joshua were neck-and-neck on the poll as of the time of me posting this, I've decided to go ahead with Joshua since his is shorter/simpler and we'll be doing Wonwoo next.

[sleepyghostuwu]

The Artist and the Gem (Part 2, rewrite)

Synopsis: You start brainstorming about your mysterious client's request and begin working on it. Unfortunately, that means finding a way to get your unconventional art subject to cooperate with you, whether or not he knows about it.

Notes: (Edit: I wasn't too happy with how it turned out and it was bugging me a fair bit, so I had to redo it for my own peace of mind.)

Fem! Reader POV will be used in this series as it is what I'm most comfy writing in ^^ Also it's really lengthy lmao (I got too excited writing this) so get ready-

Previously: Part 1

It has been a good number of months since you've received the mysterious client's commission.

You've been finding yourself becoming increasingly productive in both your white collar and artistic jobs, presumably from wanting to rid yourself of as much work as you could to work on Aventurine's portrait. It has gotten to the point you even managed to send out most of your commissions to your other clients, even the impatient one who had been living on your nerves for what felt like an eternity. What made you want to get his portrait done and over with so badly? That was a question you were too afraid to find answers to.

Speaking of Aventurine, you have a slight problem: while you knew how he looks like very well, you had no clue how to draw him that well. The fact that the both of you work in different departments and hence very rarely see each other made your task of observing his appearance better all the more difficult.

With all possible odds pitted against you, only two solutions remain: you could either spy on Aventurine during your lunch and tea breaks and sketch him in secret, or directly ask him to pose for you for a few minutes. Given your current ranking in the IPC, you have a slightly better chance at the former. As the clock strikes at lunchtime, you quickly grab your tablet and head for the first place you can think of: the lounge.

-------

"...Don't worry, I'll be sure to send you the updates as soon as I get them," Aventurine's carefree voice echoes like a chime as he and the other Stonehearts leave the meeting room for their break. Your breath hitches and you quickly crouch behind the nearest potted plant you spotted in the vicinity, peeking through its leaves cautiously.

"This is the worst idea I've ever thought of..." you curse under your breath as you stabilised yourself against the wall. You have passed by Aventurine during work before on several occasions, and rarely ever get to briefly speak to him about work-related matters, so seeing the man himself with your eyes was not something unfamiliar to you. However, what left you the slightest bit horrified was the next thought that entered your mind.

Aventurine is stunningly handsome.

His sandy hair, which was slightly tucked behind his left ear, flowed down his neck like sand in an hourglass, and his eyes were as vibrant as stained glass windows in the sun. The deep green and gold coattails trailing behind him reminded you of a brightly coloured bird as he strode across the hallway, always seeming like he had people to show off to in every corner.

(Y/n)! Focus! You frantically shake your thoughts out of your hand and ready your tablet. It's your only chance at this, so don't mess this up! Propping yourself against the wall as you continue crouching behind the potted plant, you whip out your stylus and begin drawing furiously.

The first few attempts you made were a little sloppy (by your standards, at least), but in a short while, you manage to fill the better half of your drawing spread with surprisingly good sketches. The fact that Aventurine was perfectly still as you drew each pose made your success feel too good to be true. As you watch Aventurine leave the vicinity with a few cups of coffee in hand, you heave a sigh of relief and stood up, propping yourself against the wall as you wait for your legs to recover from crouching on the ground for so long.

And it's still lunch hour, too! You smile to yourself as you turn to leave for the office cafe. Everything went according to plan. Surely nothing could possibly go wrong after this-

"Oh, (y/n)? I didn't expect to see you here."

A chill runs down your spine as you slowly come face-to-face with none other than Aventurine himself.

-------

"H-hello, sir," you squeak, clutching your tablet in a tight embrace as you desperately tried to hide its contents. Clearing your throat, you add, "I was just going to the lounge to...well, take a rest."

"Hmm..." Aventurine stares intently at you before checking his watch. Then, he looks up at you again and chuckles. "Really? With that tablet of yours, too?" He raises an eyebrow at the tablet in your arms. "I'm pretty sure doing extra work isn't something a person would be doing to take a break."

Damn, he's catching onto me. Embarrassment and fear kicking in, you avert your eyes from his. Aventurine tilts his head to the side in feigned curiosity. "What are you doing here anyway? Are you...hiding something from me?" His eyes shift to the tablet in your hands.

"No..." You cling to your tablet tighter as the voices in your head scream for you to run before he does the last thing you want him to do. However, Aventurine swiftly swipes the tablet (which, much to your dismay, was still switched on) from your hands before you can physically react.

"Well, well, what do we have here- oh?" Aventurine's smirk gives way to a more surprised expression as he gapes at the canvas of digital sketches of him. "Oh my. Is that- is that me?"

You feel the heat rising in your cheeks as your worst possible outcome unfolds before you. Frantically, you attempt to snatch your tablet back, only to have your hands flail in vain as he kept moving it out of reach, only relenting and returns the tablet to you after a good few minutes.

"Oh, relax, (y/n). I didn't mean anything negative by that. Those sketches of yours are quite majestic, really. I'm just...pleasantly surprised, hehehe~ Though, I have to ask..." He leans slightly closer to you, his iconic sly grin now back on his face.

"What exactly are they for?"

[dentiststoothfairy]

Helloo!! Could I ask for Norton with a VERY shy s/o who has difficulty speaking but loves to draw, has a big crush on him and is always secretly (they are not) drawing him because of it? Means they always stare at him and starts doodling, which might look very weird at first. I just love the dynamic shy x "i hate everyone, except this one" lmao

Please take your time with that! I saw how many request you have and i hope it was okay to give you one more. Take care!! <333

[🦷🎀 𝙸'𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚂𝙾 𝙽𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙾𝚄𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙸 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙺 𝙸𝚃 𝙲𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳! 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛! 𝚂𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚘 𝚕𝚘��𝚐 𝚊𝚜 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕 <𝟹𝟹]

🍩 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 🍩 𝐱 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐒/𝐎

At first? He probably wasn't too interested I'M GONNA BE HONEST

You never really spoke, so he didn't really feel a need to talk to you either. It's not that you couldn't or were mute, you just seemed to really suck at it.

It didn't help that the flushing on your cheeks would occasionally go unnoticed and he just thought you were socially inept 😭

But, he quickly picked on your staring.

Yeah, anon he wasn't too happy about that.

First, and obviously, he assumed it was about his scar. Of course you would want to gawk and stare at him. Everyone else did.

His instinct told him that you were just like the others, snickering at him even if it must've been behind closed doors but to be honest he was more reasonable than to listen to his insecurities.

Although, his stare tended to harden to you.

You always seemed to bashfully look away, scribbling down on a paper. His eyes still stuck on you until he was satisfied that you weren't staring at him like he was an animal in a cage.

God bless. You two dancing around it completely unknowing of it 😭❤

Anyways, it wasn't until he passed behind you. He got curious.

His eyes fell down past your shoulder and he practically fell over. He's very graceful guys I promise.

"... Is that me?"

Now, Norton isn't exactly the most... Handsome fella ever. He believes that anyways. So him.. Being a muse?? To such?? An artist??? HELLO??

If he had known that he was unknowingly posing, he definitely would've asked for money but...

As he gently picks it up, his eyes soften for the first time in years.

YOU POOR THING. YOU'RE EMBARRASSED BEYOND ABSOLUTE WORDS, ALL THE WORDS YOU HAD BEEN STRUGGLING TO SPEAK TO HIM WITH SUDDENLY CAME POURING OUT LIKE PROJECTILE WORD VOMIT

He just shut you up by raising his hand up, really looking at your drawing.

Did...

Did you really see him like that..?

"Uh.. This is.. Pretty Good."

[thegreenthepeacetheorange]

Everlark (Catching Fire, Ch. 15-16)

(finnick and johanna are in the building. i repeat, finnick and johanna are in the building!)

katniss likes her men medium handsome. she likes to find the beauty in the ordinary things. so of course finnick is of no interest to her whereas peeta...

katniss mocking finnick to peeta is hilarious

"because you have a weakness for beautiful things and i don't" "having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness... except possibly when it comes to you" i know peeta had katniss's insides turning to mush on the regular. again, them having another compliment-off. they love those.

katniss fixating on peeta's blue eyes. again. "those blue eyes" - they're nothing spectacular... they're just blue eyes that belong to him so they're those blue eyes.

hand holding is just their thing. constant handholding at every opportunity. their hands are permanently intertwined

"peeta and i.. are so mesmerising" "peeta and i appear... young and strong and beautiful"

katniss being JEALOUS when johanna strips down. like she's so annoyed she won't look at peeta and throws his hand away from her when johanna leaves. "she spends the whole ride... chatting to peeta about his paintings while the light of his still-glowing costume reflects off her bare breasts" - she's MAD mad.

their fight after the elevator is so teenage it makes my heart ache. like they're really just teenagers navigating so many human experiences for the first time amongst this chaos.

one of the main reasons she's still angry with him the next day is because of him teasing her (and lingering jealousy over johanna). her being like 'i don't want his comfort but i'm still gonna die to ensure he's alive but i don't owe him more than that' (paraphrasing) is so funny because what do you even mean, katniss? she's unhinged

peeta just having a big group of friends around all the time, like he did in district 12 - and still it's katniss he wants the most. aw. "it's amazing that he ever took any notice of me." you can't convince me that katniss doesn't absolutely adore that she's peeta's chosen one. like she feels so special that he fell in love with her/chooses to love her.

"so i'm stupid for thinking that they might be useful. because of something johanna mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling" - oh she is so jealous and mad. lmao

i don't think i hold anything against peeta for not saying/doing something to chaff in the moment he kisses katniss. like he's also just 17 and he was probably equally caught off guard. haymitch really should've been the one to protect her but he laughed. peeta saying he won't let chaff kiss her again feels like him teasing but also him realising that she really didn't like that and i know for sure he wouldn't let that happen again.

katniss being like oh these people are quite nice and friendly and quite damaged that i would want to protect them "but all of them must die if i'm to save peeta" - she's unhinged. and this goes back to my point that a lot of her motivations are driven for selfish reasons. she's saving peeta for herself, because it's what she needs to happen

katniss doesn't want to stick it to the gamemakers because they're terrible people (although i'm sure that plays a part), it's just so she can draw attention away from peeta and hopefully onto herself for the sake of his survival

[lavrach]

Gilbert's best friends getting acquainted with each other! ( ^◡^)(๑>ᗜºั)

(bonus, sketch and the text that's behind them are all under the cut!)

You would not believe how many times I exported this pic and then fixed something on it and exported it again!!! But I'm really happy with how this turned out - sure there are some things I could've done better but who cares for now. This was so fun to draw :D

the text behind them (that is the best thing I've ever written): "and yeah this is what makes him such an AWESOME bird. DId I mention that I named him after me? He's basically my son now (and yours if you want to haha ;)) and he can do all sorts of AWESOME tricks because he was raised by the one and only AWESOME me!!!! (he could be raised by us if you want to) (no pressure) (just think it's right for him to have two parents and I'm only asking you because you're really responsible and not because I want you baaaddd) kesesese but don't ask him to do any tricks right now he is shy in front of strangers especially ones who are as AWESOME and as handsome as you what who said that lol must've been the wind!! lmao xD oh wow he's letting you pet him? He doesn't usually let people pet him maybe you're just that special!! To him not to me of course unless you want to be special to me too I guess we could figure something out maybe over coffee or dinner no pressure though anyways have I told you that I named him after me? Yeaaaah we're both just SOO AWESOME that's why kesesese well anyways he's the most AWESOME yeah that's because"

[riddle-me-ri]

A/N: honestly didnt think I would come up with another astv fic so quick after the first one lmao but I got inspired for this scenario based on the overall consensus struggle artists are having drawing Miguel (me included asdfhjk). I was stuck between doing a drabble or a list of headcanons and doing some other characters as well. But I decided to keep it simple for now, but if you guys would like to see headcanons of the other characters reacting to you drawing them, feel free to let me know and tell me about any other ideas you guys may have!

Trigger Warning: none

Word Count: 795

Miguel O'Hara x Reader - Drawing Practice

Being a part of the Spider Society definitely had it’s perks and setbacks. 

Yeah, it can be stressful, exhausting, and anxiety inducing. Honestly, that just came with being a Spider-person in general. 

On the plus side, it was nice to be a part of something so extraordinary. Just when you started to feel lonely, you were soon thrusted into this whole other universe of other walks of life that were like you. 

Which easily kept you inspired for your art. You had a plethora of finished sketchbooks, scrapbooks of your drawings you did on notepads, napkins, and other materials. 

When you weren’t on missions in your own universe or serving as backup for an anomaly mishap, you were likely swinging around the headquarters looking for your next subject. (Not to mention there was no angle quite like the one you could get hanging upside down…)

During one of the more calmer days, you were sifting through your latest sketchbook. It was almost full. Mostly consisting of whatever caught your eyes, some new environments from different universes, and all sorts of different Spider personas. 

Well, most of them anyway. There was still probably many more you have yet to see…or one in particular you see almost every day. 

Spiderman 2099 a.k.a. Miguel O’Hara a.k.a. The guy that founded and ran this whole thing. He’s also Mr. Tall, Dark, and Intimidating…and handsome…but mostly intimidating.

You rarely spoke to him outside of certain missions where he requested you for back-up or for any sort of follow-up meeting. 

You definitely can't forget his face though…perhaps you could draw from memory? Maybe start from his mask and go from there? It can't be too hard. It's not like he's ever gonna see it anyway, and besides how are you going to draw everyone else but him? 

You got comfortable at a nearby corner seat in the food court area. You took a deep breath and started sketching. 

The more you sketched the more all the hustle and bustle started to fade away. It was you and the sketchpad. You could almost hear the pencil scrape the paper and the thumps whenever you had to erase something with your eraser.

Some significant time had gone by, and a certain leader was looking for you. Yet you didn't have the slightest clue. 

Miguel cleared his throat to get your attention properly and you almost jumped to the ceiling. 

"Oh, uh…hi, Miguel…w-what's up?" You really wanted to ask how long he was there. And damn your hyperfocus for interfering with your spidey senses. 

You clutched the pad to your chest, trying to keep him from seeing what you were doing. You hoped he never even noticed. 

"I wanted to ask you about this new mission. If you wouldn't mind following me so we can discuss it in private?" 

"Uhh. Yeah. Okay, sure." You got up from your seat, still clutching your sketchbook like a lifeline in treacherous waters. 

As you followed behind him, you couldn't help but feel conflicted. 

On one hand you didn't want him to see and on the other you kinda wanted to know what he thought about them. Would he appreciate them? Would he think it was weird? It's not like it was just him, you drew all the Spiders…

"I like your drawings, by the way." He commented over his shoulder as you got closer to his desk. 

"Oh. Uh..uh thanks…" 

"Gotta admit, I've never had anyone draw me before…" Miguel mentioned.

"That was my first attempt, you're the only Spider I haven't drawn yet."

"Felt obligated to add me in with the others?" 

Before you could stop yourself, you said. "More like saving the best for last…" 

You both stopped simultaneously in your trek. Both of you were shocked at the sentiment. 

Miguel was far from perfect, despite how hard he tried to be perfect and in control. Despite his flaws and his cold aura. You admired his determination and dedication (even if it bit him more often than helped him.) 

He turned to face you, as if expecting you to take it back or say it was a joke.

"Really?" 

You nodded.

You couldn't help the soft swell in your chest when you saw the faintest hint of a smile grow to the side of his lips. 

You tried to train your eyes and brain to take a mental photo for later. 

You two started walking again in comfortable silence, until Miguel's voice perked up. 

"Although. I don't think I have that many wrinkles." He quipped. 

You quirked your eyebrow, questioningly. "With your stress?" 

Miguel nodded in a huff. "Fair enough. You should probably add more." 

You tried to refrain from giggling as he tried to refrain from smiling any wider. 

[thisisnotkitty]

hello securitywaiter nation have you thought about ness being abby’s teacher bc I HAVE

below the cut because i can't shut up ever :D

-abby does well enough in school academically but is still needs some work in the socioemotional dept

-when she starts a new school year mike is a bit worried but then she comes back home absolutely ecstatic and mike is like “okay this is good”

-she talks all about how mr. ness lets her color while he teaches and how mr. ness gave them all name tags w silly drawings (hers is a bear) etc etc

-mike is actually really happy bc most teachers have a hard time understanding abby (heck, he has a hard time understanding her) so he’s looking forward to meeting this mr. ness during back to school night

-it goes on like this for awhile, with abby raving about mr. ness and mike is just happy that his little sister seems to be doing better in school. the first time she comes home talking about these kids she hung out with at recess he practically cries

-back to school night is here and the first time mike sees this mr. ness he’s like abby u traitor you didnt tell me this man was exactly my type (he doesn’t actually tell her bc he never brings up his lovelife around her - not that he’s had much of one - but still isn’t this the type of things siblings know intrinsically)

-anyways they’re having the kids show their guardians around the classroom and their seats and everything and then mr. ness is explaining the way his class works and mike is totally paying attention. yup. he’s not distracted by those chocolate brown eyes at ALL

-so they’re waiting to do the one-on-ones with the teacher and mike crouches down next to abby and tries to be all chill “hey, abs. has mr. ness ever mentioned a partner or anything?” acting all nonchalant

-but abby sees right through him and is immediately like “he’s single! do u want me to put in good word for you?” and mikes like “NO i have no idea what ur talking about haha i just wanted to know bc it’s important to know that about ur teachers okay wait why are you smiling like that”

-(abby’s a little menace and already ships it)

-when it’s finally their turn mike is just chanting to himself “be normal. be normal. be normal” lmao

-but now that he’s sitting face to face with the teacher he notices that he has freckles and every chance he had at playing it cool goes out the window

-ness is telling him all about how well abby is doing in class and if there was anything he could do to make it easier for her in the classroom and abby’s just sitting there looking at mike internally screaming with a smile

-so she turns to her teacher and is like “you should get mike’s number just in case something comes up. he’ll probably think of some things later since he’s been taking care of me alone for awhile” (bc u know when kids do that things where they kinda trauma dump at the most random moments lmao)

-and ness at first refuses and is like “im sure email works just fine!” and abby’s like WHYY is he not just taking the bait and then she has like a lightbulb moment

-bc ness probably assumes like everyone else that mike is a single father and abby’s his daughter and abby’s like oh no how do i make this work

-so she goes full anya mode (for my spy x family watchers) and is like “im sure mike would appreciate having your number on hand! he’s a very protective older brother you see. taking care of his little sister must be hard. i’m sure being a big brother like him is hard so it’d be for his peace of mind. did i mention he’s my older brother”

-and ness also has a little bit of a crush already forming so he doesn’t catch the obvious set up and is instead distracted by the fact that the handsome guy in front of him is in fact NOT a single father so maybe he does have a chance wowow

-yup so they exchange numbers andddddd ill come back to this later i really need coffee

[digo3d]

Here's another ask: 1 thing you like + 1 thing you dislike about each TC movie

Almost guaranteed these are gunna end up being more than one thing because I don't know how to shut up but let's see

Beverly Hills Cats:

I like that it's silly and also because it gives Brain more of a spotlight, also it confirmed a few of my lesser headcanons (Spook can play the drums and Brain likes rats) also The Rap for their costumes (specifically Spook's and Brain's they slay) also Spook's voice is very gruff in BHC and so now I have a REAL reason to make his voice a little gravelly/give him a little growl when he talks whenever I read a dialogue from him other than just because I want to

However the PACING OH MY GOD THE PACING 😭 some of the movie just drags and the dialogue feels clunky sometimes, also the visuals look dirty if that makes sense? Everything's a strange color y'know? Also The Rap because it's so poorly composed and it makes me die a little. Also Amy Vandergelt fuck Amy Vandergelt all my homies hate Amy Vandergelt. Also Dibble didn't really feel like Dibble y'know like he was oddly mean and (extra) dense like 😭

Top Cat: The Movie:

I am inherently biased because this is a movie from my childhood I was FUCKING OBSESSED with it and would watch it every day once I got home from school in 4th grade and I still remember a dream I had about it years ago and I'm pretty sure I put Spook into a story I had to write for class 😭 it's how I got into Top Cat in the first place so I hold The Movie very near and dear to my heart anyways I really love that it legitimately feels like Anima Estudios put a lot of love into it and like they made a genuine effort to make it feel like OG even if they fell short. Also THE ARTSTYLE I WOULD FUCKING KILL TO GET A REBOOT IN THE STYLE OF THE MOVIE ARARAR GEOMETRIC ARTSTYLES EATS A BRICK anyways also Trixie, they could never make me hate you Trixie (I need to draw her more) also the robots are funny as fuck for no reason

While I still think people greatly exaggerated how bad the movie was, I can kinda understand where they're coming from because the plot holes are ABYSMAL OMG 💀 also fucking Rob Schneider is Strickland in the British dub which is immediately awful, also not as awful but Dibble doesn't feel nearly as like strict or intimidating as he did before and I think that's mostly because of the voice they gave him, it's very squeaky. Also I feel like Strickland could work as a good antagonist but I feel like they leaned into the 'oh I'm so handsome I'm the prettiest in the world' thing too hard and it just made him feel really annoying and not like an actual threat at all, also naturally the flanderization of Brain (Anima Estudios must've had beef with him or something cos they did him even more dirty in Begins)

Top Cat Begins:

To be completely Frank, to be completely David even, there's really not that much I like about Begins other than Hellcat Spook (naturally). I mean I like Furletta Duchat because she's purdy and Dib's grandmother (Grambo) because she's fucking insane. Chooch's little waddle of a walk. OH I actually REALLY like Mr. Big as a villain. He's an actual threat to T.C. and the gang and his design, voice, and behavior is actually intimidating and probably the best crafted out of any of the new characters in Begins (also his model isn't fugly like most of the rest of them). If a new movie or series ever gets made I hope he makes a return even just as like a minor villain. Also Diedrich Bader voices Bad Dog and that's an inside joke between me and my sister lmao (also I do really like Bad Dog he's an excellent goon)

First things first for things I don't like about Begins, THE MODELS. WHY ARE THEY SO UGLY. WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS. I mean like they could be worse BUT THEY COULD CERTAINLY BE BETTER 😭 I mean I do appreciate them for giving us canon eye colors for the fellas but good fucking lord

Help him 😭

Tbh I'm trying to think of who the worst offender is and tbh it's almost all of them but I will say that Benny and Spook look the best, Fancy isn't ugly but he doesn't really look like Fancy, (same with Dibble) and ig T.C. isn't bad but he's not good. Brain and Chooch though what did they do to my lads. Chooch has gingivitis and lacks fangs (actually all of them lack fangs except for T.C. and Benny which I think is especially offensive) and Brain's model is built in such a way where any mouth movement he makes looks FUCKED UP. Also his eyes are really small and so are his ears and his proportions are generally fucked.

Fun fact I found some like beta promo art for Begins a while ago and Fancy's model is completely different and dare I say he looks better than his official model

Anyways models aside I think this is kind of a dogshit origin story for the gang. Making T.C. and Benny meet Fancy, Chooch, and Brain all at the same time only to not see them for the next 45 minutes was real fuckin lame-o and lazy and they also retconned that whole thing where T.C. and Benny were in Boy Scouts together which I really didn't appreciate. Also could've stood to have moar Spook in the movie instead of him being a deus ex machina and having LESS THAN TEN MINUTES OF SCREENTIME, like shit dawg. Also I always thought it was lame that he was just the pizza guy and not ACTUALLY involved with Mr. Big y'know? Also he's got a bit of a plot hole where he's like 'why should I stick my neck out for you' and then legit like 2 minutes later he's like 'i've been following you around so we can join forces' like ok bro if that was the case you would've just pulled them up and not've done that whole thing where you made it seem like you would've left them there but alright dawg. In my opinion I would've had it where Mr. Big sends out Spook to find them and follow them around after they lose their tracks of them and then when they escape Spook's grasp THEN Mr. Big fucks up Eleanore. Anyways what else. Uhh. Oh I can't tell if they just forgot what Dibble acted like or they tried making him younger in Begins but like. That's not Dibble. Who is that. Also again, Brain flanderization to the extreme and some mischaracterization of Fancy. Anyways I think that's it actually

This turned into a full rant I'm sorry 😭 but yeah I think a remake/revamp of Begins is in order because it's so bad and then BHC isn't bad, just mid at times, and then I've always found The Movie to be charmingly bad despite it's plot holes

[homuracar]

personal complaining rant about haikyuu and hypermasc fanart--because!!! speaking exaggeratedly for fun, and because i don't think anyone's reading

i just saw very very veryvery cute sakuushi art, right after seeing some haikyuu fanart that i really do not like... thing i've realized is i think i hated a lot of the haikyuu fandom so much because, a lot of the art was very masculine LOL. it'll depend on the fandom side ofcourse... and it's not like everyone drew it like that. but i was always stupid and crazyparticular sometimes. hypermasc depictions of characters, in haikyuu fandom i reaaaally hated it. especially because my favorite was ushijima (>_>) it was over. i didn't know how to explain it back then because i was a kid and totally disconnected from that thought, i decided it was because i didn't like my fav being sexualized(complete lie lmao)

a lot of haikyuu fandom sees the boys more as love interests in like, an otome game? or something. or potential husbands. which is fair, people can do what they want... i don't care... well i do care because i hate the drawings and i hate the depictions. but this is my own problem mostly, i didn't end up aligning with most of fan's views on it. ushijima isn't my husband... (gnaws hand) i wouldn't intrude like that... he wouldn't see me like that even if i wanted him to be my wife..... and i would pale in comparison to his other suitors(is now just crazed). not only that i don't align with their shipping views either?! if i was bored by most of the main pairs the fandom decided on when i first got into haikyuu, by now i basically hate them. fuck bokuaka and fuck that one fanfic. (seethe) well actually the ship is fine, most ships are fine or would be fine if i didn't think a lot of the fanwork was atrocious about the characters lol. my art leans feminine, and most of my preferences does too. but i didn't Like the characters that fans decided was feminine like that. i didn't care for them, or i didn't even see them like that! maybe my view of what is fem/masc is a little too jumbled up, but i abide by it. fuck all of this. fuck you. and fuck ushioi. oiushi is fine. ushioi nearly made me dislike oikawa with it's sheer force. oikawa is fine actually he's funny. in fact ushijima and oikawa's relationship IS interesting... i just hate 90% of what i saw of it fanon-wise. sakuushi is precious to me, because gap moe is super. i never liked sakuatsu and i probably never will. i love atsumu but this is not where he should beee...(rolls around). it also made me despise mafia aus by instinct. im crazy but heta is kind of fresh air to me for this, so many cutesy art... so many fun art... and the source material goes with it too. if not outright cute then it's funny, which is cute itself! even if it's dark or weird it's still cute. and so much more ryona than i could ever dream of (Im So Happy). at least back then when i was more brain tied to haikyuu, there were the bunch of people who'd make more cute art. in english fandom, the cartoonish funny cuteness. i find easian fandoms get the characters down in a way i like much more most of the time tho lol. for some reason the jokes people pick up on are different? like you don't see obsessive fan shirabu in english fandom LOL. but seasian fandom does a lot of handsome ultramasc husbando haikyuu fanart(gnaws hand). that's not surprising... i know indonesians like manboobs... whatever idon't even care. i don't care. i don't.

i'm complaining so i might as well, but saddening to me when art of characters being feminine felt so limited. especially for the characters with more "masculine" bodytypes(fuck all of you). again my view of fem/masc is a little jumbled, or kind of weird so my words don't mean much here. but i never understood why characters were so limited by fans in it. if a ""masculine""(fuck you) character were to be given like, a dress, or feminine clothing, it'd be like, deliberately an outlier in some way. like for the "absurdity" of it... they'd never shut up about the absurdity too... i don't care if it's sexualization it's just really annoying to keep being like this guy is so masculine but he's wearing a dress!!! crazy right!!! look how annoyed he is scowling and jaw hard and muscles tense!!! don't you see how crazy masculine he is while in that dress!!!! i'll kill you all. characters flustered in dresses is cute. nobody understands. it's over. it's just strange to see, the only characters where anyone ever acknowledges their feminine traits are whoever people decide are twinks. the characters who isn't usually get focus on how dominant and masculine they are. No i think ushijima has feminine traits? fuck all of you. it's kind of my fault for preferring feminine things while falling in love with strong/big characters LOL. fml... not my fault the fandom's dearest chosen twinks are MID and not WIFE MATERIAL. i don't like twink atsumu miya actually but he's still a cute puppy. okay? fuck. can't we balance this out. can't a cute girlfriend who gets red in the face also work out and be professional athletes? can't tall fit girls faces get flushed confessing to you? do you hate me? why can't everyone be cute girls is it so wrong? look they're slice of life-ing isn't this so cute?!?! don't you agree that it's cute to see them eat meat buns in the snow and have puffs of breath show up?! i'll just yuribend them all. i guess

i say this but i also just never rly gravitate towards more petite or smaller characters. so. lol. and if they have a shy timid pathetic personality it makes me want to see them seme more... lol... the predicament. all the characters with aura is decided seme tch.... which makes sense... tch.. i guess... i'll accept that ame makes sense seme/uke(but i'd never ever let him or draw him seme don't get me wrong.) but i won't allow it for ushijima. im smiling at the sky. my girlfriends are so cu

but if you dig you can find fanart of them in super very cute artstyles! the core of haikyuu is volleyball fun after all. most of the time the characters behave very endearingly, rather than the super macho mafia bosses people are so insistent on. for the majority of it's runtime they're stupid teenage boys, and even after timeskip they're having good fun. they're happy and loving. i really can't stand a lot of the fanart. but if you find right you will find the best the cutest the sweetest. (my current heta twt used to be the acc i used scouring for cute haikyuu fanart and posting them LOL... i still follow some haikyuu accounts bcz of it)(korean sakuushi art!!! the absolute best!!!) ones that really understand haikyuu's cuteness. it's still a manga dear to my heart, even tho i'll avoid checking in the fandom 90% of the time.

[aristocrating]

Hot Take: Jack and Bitty are good for each other. Y'all are just mean LMAO

YEAH YEAH YES GOOD I LOVE THIS

fandom is just one hermeneutic cycle of being an anti until arguing for the ship that's on the front of the book cover becomes a hot take again!!

ok so (looks straight at camera) im a confessed zimbits-snarker, right? hate those guys. fuck those guys. BUT. i would love to play devils advocate for *checks notes real quick* the most popular pairing in the fandom for a minute. watch me, i'm about to do the mental gymnastics meme where both the top and the bottom just say "zimbits good"

one thing i think that draws people to zimbits is the aspect of wish fulfilment. with bitty serving as the reader-insert, it's easy to see why: bitty begins the comic as a fish out of water to college hockey, he undergoes the journey of being integrated into the group and learns to be part of its larger culture. add to that that Jack is literally set up as a handsome prince with a dark mysterious past who serves to sweep up Bitty and usher him off into the sunset. the author has even said that Jack specifically has to fulfil certain hunk duties as eyecandy. its cute! whats not to love! another thing that intrigues me specifically is that zimbits kind of starts out as enemies to lovers. me at age something-teen reading Check Please for the first time, seeing tall dark and handsome year 1 asshole jack yell at Bitty? i was like "oh i need him carnally", and evidently so did Bits.

Next, coming from the Jack side of things, it's just such a cozy concept for the ending of his character arc, right? After all these years of torturing himself, here is finally someone who is just willing to shower him in affection, who loves nothing more than to dote on him and bake him homemade pie, which is a very fitting image for the domesticity that jack could use after the fuckery that is his Icarus arc.

Another thing that I would love to see explored more is how Bitty's and Jack's stories end up falling in parallel when it comes to their upbringing. Both of them feel like they can't live up to being their fathers, which neither of their fathers necessarily want of them, but it's a sort of self-imposed expectation for both of them. As a woman who is certainly "my father's daughter" i find that very relatable.

Now here's where I'm gonna come in with my own hot take and say that, Jack and Bitty are good for each other– for a while. And that's okay. When I read their relationship, it always gives me the sense that here are two people who found each other at very pivotal points in their lives (i mean whats more epitomic of the college experience than that) and who profit from each other's company while they're going through that growing process. They work because first and foremost they're each other's friends. I think in year 2 this is especially evident when the buildup to their romance happens. Bitty cares about Jack's safety, his happiness. Jack wants to give Bitty what he can to make him happy.

When I think about where I see them in the future I always think, like. Happily divorced. There's a scene in Company by Sondheim where Peter and Susan, a sexually repressed guy who lusts after the protagonist and a southern belle ray of sunshine, get a divorce and it's the best thing that's ever happened to them. I rewatched the 2006 revival recently and at that scene I went "oh shit that's them. that's zimbits". At one point the protag asks Peter where he's gonna live now that they're divorced and Peter says like "Right here. I got Susan and the kids to take care of, I would certainly never leave them?" And obviously the scene is highly facetious and satiristic, but I think it's emblematic of how I see their relationship work out. They're probably not longterm compatible romantically but they'll still have each other's backs.

At least until Jack finds out about the vlog.

Idk I don't think there's anything to rate here. Zimbits good is a scorching hot take on this blog. To ME.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Seeing all of the anons whose real world sex lives have been revolutionized by your smut blogging… and then the thought popping into my mind that it would be a cold day in hell before Steve Rogers would ever send smut without his name attached…

Pre-serum Steve as a kinky smut blogger and beefy veteran with PTSD Bucky as the anon who tells him and his followers all his fantasies, and then is inspired to go after them…

It takes both of them a while to figure out that “first time sub anon”, who redwhiteblackandblue inspired to go after his kinky side. is the same sweet, shy, gorgeous hunk who Steve can’t stop taking home from the club…

related to this

Some of the best shit out there (no offense to you, lol, you're thoughts are also incredibly lovely), people out there being kinky as hell, living their lives. 🤌🏻Good shit🤌🏻

Oooooh, that is quite the concept. I love that! And that would work so good with the idea, overall, of Bucky using BDSM to work through recovery. He could easily start messaging Steve on anon, telling him his thoughts, his hesitations, all the way up to telling Steve about, yeah, this handsome, experienced dom that he goes home with, having his first experience with, then subsequently having more and more experiences, getting kinkier and kinkier the longer it goes on...

I wonder how long it will take Steve to put together that the big, pretty guy he keeps playing with in the dungeon or taking home from the dungeon is the same anonymous, shy person in his inbox?

I wonder how long it will take the readers and followers of Steve's blog to put two and two together as Steve posts more experiences himself, his kinky nights, and even posts faceless pictures of this mysterious submissive that he's started casually playing with...?

Real life oblivious idiots. My favorite, lmao.

However, I see your concept of Steve never being nameless with his smut, and raise you:

Anonymous erotica artist Steve Rogers.

It aligns more with canon, pre-war Steve needing money and getting a few gigs drawing gals with full breasts nearly falling out of their bathing suits. Although, those quick gigs slowly turn into what he does to bring home enough money for Bucky and him to eat dinner every night. Even during the worst of the depression.

Can you imagine the way the world would explode when enough people draw parallels between Captain America's known, signed drawings, to these anonymous erotic drawings from... exactly the era when Steve would've been most hurting for cash... huh. And then Steve publicly confirms it, with all but a shrug! He doesn't even blush! He doesn't stammer! He doesn't curl up and die like people that believe the propaganda pawn Captain America is the real Steve Rogers expect him to. He says, *imagine in the same voice as Chris Evans saying, "oh, that's my tush," (3:08)* "oh, yeah, those are mine."

Thank you for this idea 👀

Also your idea of being strangers but also not strangers made me think of one of my all time favorite stucky kinky fics...

"Darling Wolf" by cleo4u2 & xantissa

[swordfright]

9, 12, 15? :)

9.) How do you headcanon c!Dream’s appearance? Does it ever change?

Well you know I’m a Just Some Guy truther so the c!Dream in my head is by default a regular human man, not a hybrid. He’s tall and lean, got that typical DnD ranger’s build. He’s blonde. He’s got a warm smile. He’s freckled from so much time spent outdoors. He had a couple visible scars even before the prison era. Tbh i think the most notable thing about my c!Dream headcanon is that he’s not like, ethereally beautiful or even classically handsome. Sure, some characters see him as attractive (George, Sam, etc..) but he’s no Calvin Klein model objectively. He looks like some guy you’d run into at the grocery store. I think a lot of what makes other ppl see him as hot is his skill in combat - competence is attractive. When the mask comes off, people are surprised at how ordinary he looks.

Does his appearance ever change? Yeah, definitely. When I draw him, the drawings tend to look pretty different, I like some variation in my c!Dream design (in particular, it’s really fun giving him different hairstyles!) But also in terms of headcanons, his appearance obviously changes after prison. His stay in Pandora absolutely devastates his physical health in every way: his hair noticeably thins and never really recovers, his teeth are in bad shape, etc. It’s not just crazy anime scars.

One of fave c!Dream artists is @/pinegren actually, the way they draw him is soooo close to how I picture him!! So if you wanna see the c!Dream I visualize when I’m writing fic, I recommend checking out their art! Go go go it’s so amazing!!!

(Also my c!Dream is always trans because all my faves get to be trans. The highest honor i can bestow on a character lmao)

15.) What’s your favorite c!Dream au?

There are so many good ones! I guess an automatic fave is that c!Dream stays with emerald duo/the syndicate in the immediate aftermath of the prisonbreak. There are tons of great fics that explore this scenario and tbh i think it’s more realistic than c!Dream just…walking off after the escape. Like sorry but there’s no way he was in good enough shape to make it by himself LMFAO

Also i do wake up every morning and clock in for my shift at the thinking about coparent au factory so there’s that.

I already answered 12 here!

[persephoneggsy]

more niche aus! more niche aus!

anyway, binging Vox Machina made me think about this idea i had a while ago, where Hawke was a goddess of death and somehow, her most devoted follower and champion was Goodest Boy(tm) Sebastian.

He became devoted to her after he pleaded for her aid; his oldest brother had fallen deathly ill, and knowing that as the youngest son his life was not worth as much as the heir’s, he offered to trade his life for his brother’s. Hawke found herself touched by this mortal’s willingness to sacrifice himself for his family, though she held umbrage with his idea that his life was inherently worthless. 

To prove him wrong, instead of taking his offered soul, she made him her Champion, and he has served her faithfully ever since.

other misc ideas:

Hawke was originally a mortal who ascended to godhood, but it’s been so long the details have been lost even to her. She’s fairly certain she had siblings. Twins, perhaps?

Sebastian originally followed a life/light god before vowing his service to Lady Hawke. He felt conflicted about it for a while, but he was always fascinated with Lady Hawke’s teachings, so he settled into his new role easily.

People are always shocked that someone with such a... wholesome and cheerful demeanor can follow the dour Lady Hawke so faithfully.

The other gods keep telling Hawke she can’t play favorites so brazenly. She keeps saying shut up and look at how amazing and handsome my Champion is.

Hawke is supposed to have a wicked cool mask shaped like a hawk’s skull but I couldn’t... draw that lmao. So just imagine it instead.

Other members of the Kirkwall crew are also gods.

Fenris: God of Wrath, the Patron of Slaves

Merrill: Goddess of Knowledge, the Lorekeeper

Aveline: Goddess of Order, the Lawbringer

Isabela: Goddess of Fortune, the Patroness of Thieves

Anders: God of Medicine, the Righteous Healer

Varric: God of the Arts, the Storyteller

They all have varying opinions on Hawke’s.... intense relationship with her champion.

[braveclementine]

Chamber

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OCs, which consist of Penny Fury, Elizabeth Nelson, Elijah Chan, Katya Venice, Violetta Moscow, Lan Le, Josh, Trang Tien, Ahni Jallow, Mai Ito, and Ghaida Kashual as well as other OCs that will come up throughout the story.

So this was pretty decent for the Galactic Magician because it has that dramatic flare that Lan has. Idk what the outfit underneath the cape is though. I also don't know what this background is because I didn't ask for a background lmao.

🚭🖖 ᔕŤᗝⓇƳ 🪠🍂

Penny was laying down on the couch in Steve's arms as they watched the first Harry Potter movie- again. They had been rewatching a lot of movies like Hunger Games, Divergent, Vampire Diaries, and others because of all the books Elizabeth had been reading and wanted to watch the movies.

Penny didn't mind so much. She enjoyed the Harry Potter series and it was nice to sit around and do something besides the constant teasing or the constant sex. Especially since her and Steves' baby was due in the next few days.

Trang was curled up with Clint and Tony while Ghaida sat in Thor's lap with Rhodey and Sam on either side of her. T'Challa and Bruce were curled up with Violetta and Natasha was with Wanda and Vision. Katya was half asleep in Stephen's arms as the wizard used some magic to ease her pain levels from the baby constantly shape shifting inside of her.

Bucky was next to Steve and Penny, holding Elizabeth in his arms. He was drawing circles on her outer thigh with his thumb, paying her more attention than the movie. She watched the TV screen.

Loki seemed just a little troubled, Penny had noticed. Ever since the Magneto incident and he had come back from Asgard empty handed. Penny wondered if Heimdall had either told him and Loki was disturbed, or Loki was frustrated because Heimdall wouldn't tell him.

Carol and Shang-Chi were there as well. Carol had grown her blond hair out again so that it was shoulder length and silky. Shang-Chi had also grown his hair out, giving him a sort've Sykkuno sort've look to him.

Penny watched the movie unfold until it was the Potions classroom scene where Professor Snape just decided to humiliate Harry in front of the entire class. Penny wasn't as deep into the lore or the understandings of all of the events, but she was pretty sure it was uncalled for.

"He's hot." Elizabeth suddenly said and everyone in the room turned to look at her.

Elijah, who had been sitting on the couch next to Loki, started to smirk, turning back to watch the TV screen.

"Him?" Clint asked in disgust.

"Well. . ." Elizabeth said slowly. "Not hot. . . more like handsome, attractive. . . he's very different. I like the long hair."

Sam and Rhodey glanced at each other, both of them sighing in disappointment.

"Hey pet." Loki said suddenly, slowly and everyone looked at him. When Elizabeth looked at him, he slowly changed to become a copy of Severus Snape.

Elizabeth didn't hesitate, bounding out of Bucky's arms and running over to Loki, climbing in his lap. Bucky pouted, grumbling to himself and Penny giggled.

"It's not funny." Bucky whined like a child.

"Grow up." Steve hummed mindlessly, mostly paying Penny's neck the most attention as he kissed it.

"Penny." Bucky whined and she giggled, before sliding off Steve's lap to sit between the two super soldiers. Bucky kissed her stomach, whispering something softly to the little baby inside, before resting his head on her leg.

Next time Penny looked up, Loki and Elizabeth were gone.

"Huh? Where'd they go?" Penny asked, confused.

"To fuck." Violetta said loudly, smirking over at Penny.

"He said he wasn't going to." Clint pointed out.

"Things change." Elijah smirked, swiping along something on his phone.

"Are you spying on them with the cameras?" Tony teased.

"Maybe." Elijah answered, not looking up from his phone, "What's it to you?"

"Aw, share the camera link." Tony pouted.

"I thought you were a genius." Nat and Trang teased him. "Just hack it."

"My dad is right." Penny mumbled, turning into Steve's side, "They are all so horny."

Steve chuckled, "You know I'm one of them, right?"

"And I'm pregnant in the last week. My sex drive has plummeted." Penny muttered.

"Until you give birth." Bucky grinned, "At least, probably. Elizabeth's sex drive spiked out of the atmosphere after she'd recovered from birthing the triplets."

The triplets in question were all in Pietro's arms, the Sokovian man asleep himself, sprawled on the floor while they crawled around them. Bucky chuckled while Natasha went over to pick up Kisa and Mateo in her arms.

Contractions had been hitting Penny for the last couple of days, which were apparently normal. Another one hit her and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep quiet.

"Are we still watching this?" Vi pointed at the movie scene, which had progressed to some sort of Quidditch scene.

"Nah, let's put on Jurassic Park." Rhodey said, getting up to change the DVD.

"Good idea." Katya smiled.

Penny suddenly felt something cool, liquid like trickle down her leg. She froze for a moment, trying to refocus her senses. She grabbed Steve's arm hard and he turned to look down at her. "Cookie?"

"I think my water just broke." She spoke in barely a whisper, wishing she'd worn a shorter skirt now. She felt so big and clumsy at the moment.

"What?" Bucky asked sharply, making everyone's attention turn towards the three of them.

"I said I think my water just broke." Penny repeated and they all grew both excited and nervous.

"Before anyone panics," Stephen said quickly, kissing the side of Katya's head and carefully getting up so not to jolt the girl to much. He walked over to Penny and knelt beside her before looking around.

"Bruce, Tony, go down to the medbay part of the lab and start setting up. Everyone else, pretty much just stay where you are. Steve, you can choose one other person to be in the room with you, that's it. Everyone else will have to wait."

Steve hesitated, looking between Bucky and Sam.

"Bucky." Sam said. "Choose Buck, Steve."

"Yeah. Buck." Steve said, clapping Bucky on the shoulder and then Stephen nodded. "We're just going to portal there, alright?"

Penny nodded, feeling calmer than the rest of them combined. "Uh, I have to call my dad-"

"L.I.T.Z.Y. was already programmed to call him the minute she knew your water broke. Don't worry about that." Trang called over from where she was sitting on the couch, while Stephen opened up a portal.

"Thanks." Penny said, getting to her feet and walking through the portal into the medbay where Tony and Bruce were hurriedly setting everything up. "Guys, relax, I don't think you need to rush that much."

"Just want to be prepared." Tony said. "Elizabeth's kids got the jump on Steve."

Steve went red a little and Penny looked at him curiously. Penny started to grin, "Steve?"

Steve mumbled the story of how he hadn't realized Elizabeth's water had broken while she was asleep and the babies literally started to birth right then and there and he didn't know until Elizabeth told him- after waking up- and then he could see the babies heads already.

Bucky apparently hadn't heard the story either, because he started to laugh his ass off. "Oh punk." He was laughing so hard he had to grab a chair for support.

Penny pouted, "You guys are so mean. That's such a cute, innocent story. I love that."

"Alright, let's get you on the bed." Bruce said, not paying attention to any of the other people in the room, more focused on making sure the baby was delivered healthy. "Stephen, are you sure you're fine delivering the baby? I have Doctor Tenpenny on speed dial."

"Yes Bruce." Stephen said, pulling on blue doctor gloves and also scrubs. Penny had zero clue where they'd come from. "Also, Tony, I love you, but you've gotta scooch." Stephen added, shooing Tony towards the door. "Send in Ghaida."

"Yes Doctor." Tony replied cheekily.

"Don't start." Stephen grumbled.

"Stop looking so worried." Penny said as she got up and into the hospital chair, looking over at the super soldiers. "Everything is going to be fine. Might be slow, maybe a little painful, but we're fine, alright?"

"I know." Steve said, fidgeting in his seat. "I just. . . I can't help but feel excited. I love Rue, Kisa, and Mateo but. . . this is a child of my own flesh and blood. I just can't wait to hold him or her."

"You're a sap." Bucky teased Steve.

Penny smiled at the banter as Steve playful pushed Bucky's shoulder. "You two are so cute."

Bucky pouted, "Cute? We're not cute? We're handsome."

Penny reached up to squish his cheeks together into an even bigger pout, "See? Cute, Aa-" She groaned a little as another contraction hit her.

"Isn't there anything to give her for the pain?" Steve asked in concern.

"Yes, of course." Stephen nodded, "But usually during a pregnancy, we go off the mother asking for pain medication. Penny knows if it's really to painful for her. Elizabeth, for example, had a natural birth with no medication or the such."

"Elizabeth's babies also came out in twenty seconds." Steve muttered under his breath.

"Nah, but Elizabeth would always do a natural birth." Ghaida said, scaring all of them as none of them had heard her come into the room. "She refuses any medications of any kind."

"Why?" Penny asked.

"She's a conspiracy theorist and believes that Big Pharma is out to kill everyone or sterilize everyone through medicine." Ghaida said softly.

"Well, couldn't you just ask Viden if Big Pharma is trying to kill us and then we'd all know?" Penny asked.

"Would you really want to know the answer?" Ghaida asked.

"Yes." Steve said quickly. "If the medicine that Stephen is about to give her could kill her or sterilize her or even harm the baby, yes we want to know."

Ghaida was silent for a moment and then stared at Steve, "Let me just put it this way. If the pharmaceutical companies cured you, they would no longer get a profit off of their products, would they?"

And with that she went along to help Bruce out at the other counter. Steve looked down at Penny, obviously worried. "Pen?"

"No." Penny said softly. "I mean, women could do natural births in the 1800s right? So can I."

"That's my tough girl." Bucky chuckled, kissing her forehead.

Penny smiled and waited for the baby to come out.

😑👩‍🏭 卩σv ς𝒽𝕒ＮᎶ𝔢 ❗️👨‍🏭

Loki sighed a little as he changed back to his normal form. Elizabeth laid sprawled on his lap, fast asleep, ass still red from where he'd spanked her. He'd been worried that he would go to hard on her, but she had loved it. His little masochist.

It had been amazing, almost like a form of roleplaying. Student and Professor. He had enjoyed it more than he thought he would have, considering he wasn't wearing his face and Elizabeth still seemed to love it. Maybe there were perks to it.

He ran a cold hand down her back to her ass, hoping to soothe the burning she might be feeling. He had wanted to take his frustrations and fears out along with anger and self guilt. Maybe he should have waited for Bucky or Steve, someone who could handle it without him worrying still. But as he delved into her thoughts, she was happily in bliss.

She had helped him take his mind off of things, him more focused on pulling every little reaction out of that well fucked mouth of hers, keeping in his role of the Professor. But now, when he had nothing to do, his mind was once again full of his past and of Heimdalls' words.

He groaned, laying his head back all the way, his fists to his eyes. He had long since stopped wishing that he too could see the future. The way Heimdall was so broken about it was heart wrenching. He couldn't imagine seeing something terrible and not trying to intervene. Heimdall had to have a reason.

He looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. He wondered how she was so easy going with everything. She hadn't even been 'born' for more than a few months before she was already. . . well like it had never happened.

Still joyful, radiating happiness. Already sleeping with all of them, already knowing how to make her friends laugh, already having reconnected with her friends without a hitch. Rediscovered her powers and was somehow even more powerful than before. Still had her belief system, still had her ideologies and opinions, everything.

He didn't know how she did it, but he respected her. Admired her, even. He didn't think he could do it. But. . . maybe she was struggling and they didn't know it. Was she drowning and only pretending she was afloat?

He laid back fully on the bed, realizing his heart was racing more than he'd realized. Why was he so terrified of Heimdalls' words? What if this was all part of Heimdalls plan? If telling Loki something like this would have affected Heimdalls' 'happy future' then he wouldn't have told Loki at all.

Which meant Loki needed to stop worrying about it.

He closed his eyes, feeling more peaceful since the conversation for the first time. Everything would be fine. Heimdall was just getting on his nerves, like always.

And with that little nugget of positivity in mind, he closed his eyes, and fell asleep with his lovely kitten.

👌🍁 ᑭⓞⓥ 𝓒нÃ𝐧𝓖є 🧺👑

It took five hours for Steves baby boy to come out of Penny's womb. The boy had Steve's blond hair, but had actually taken after his mother with the eyes, one green and one blue. His skin was just slightly darker than either of theirs, also clearly taking after Penny's African American skin, but nowhere near as dark as her father.

"He's beautiful." Steve murmured, watching as Penny held the still bloody baby against her bare skin, letting the contact be there. Steve put out a hand, looking like he wanted to touch him, but there was hesitation.

"Do you want to hold him?" Penny asked softly, but still looking down at her gorgeous little boy. He was so adorable, his eyes open, staring up at her. He seemed so curious about the world around him.

"Can I?" Steve breathed out and Penny noticed his hands were shaking a bit. Bucky just leaned on his hand, giving Steve a small smile.

Penny carefully handed the boy over and immediately fell in love with Steve all over again, seeing him holding her baby. Their baby.

Stephen took him for a moment, before coming back with him, all clean and in a blue little onesie. "He's perfectly healthy. Curiously, he doesn't seem to have absolved much of Steve's super soldier serum. There's a little bit, but not much. I believe his strength will end up being just a little above average."

Steve smiled at that, clearly glad.

"He's about eight pounds, six ounces." Stephen continued. "And all of the other things like blood type, etc will be on the form. Do you guys have a name?"

Bucky chuckled, "Stop acting like a real doctor Stephen and just be a love."

Stephen smirked, "It's a bit ingrained in me Sergeant."

Bucky's eyes darkened just a little.

Steve slowly said, "There was um, someone I met in the army oversees. He was French and his name was Chamber. Our baby kind've looks like him. . . but it's kind've a weird name, isn't it?"

"He was amazing with weapons." Bucky smirked.

"Was that an innuendo?" Penny and Stephen asked together.

Steve chuckled but said, "Nah. He was straight."

"Oh so you did try?" Bruce chuckled, coming over as well.

"No." Steve said softly. "Neither of us ever dreamed of stepping out of soulmate lines back then."

"He was good looking though." Bucky said thoughtfully. "But then again, so was Howard Stark."

"NO!" Tony shouted from across the room, "Damnit why did you have to say that the moment I walk in! Stupid Robocop."

The entire room laughed and Bucky looked a little down all of a sudden, looking at the floor. Penny looked at Steve, but Steve hadn't noticed and Stephen had turned back to the clipboard. Surprisingly, it was Tony who had noticed.

Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky and kissed his cheek. "It wasn't you." He whispered softly in his ear.

"Chamber Howard Barnes-Rogers." Steve asked, looking at Penny.

Tony eyes pricked with tears and he tucked his head away from Steve so he couldn't see them. Penny smiled, "Best name out of all the children."

"Hey!" Bucky pipped out. "Rue is a wonderful name!"

Penny giggled, "I love it Steve."

Bruce chuckled as Steve handed their baby back to Penny. "Welcome to our crazy family Chamber." 

[flames-memory]

**__Wednesday__**

So, that’s now. I’m almost done with this drone work. I took this job to get some downtime from BLP. Make some money Kass wouldn’t be looking for. They all kept telling me to make an account, set up auto pays, blah blah blah. I didn’t pay her since that first payment, cuz I only pay cash, and I never delivered the rest! Still, I’m keeping the job. It’s good to be busy and normal for a good part of the day. Well, night. Also good for me. Fewer people.

Max and I will be meeting up later. He’s schedule is different, so late for me. I’m going to go make a cute outfit, so he’ll smile when he sees me. BC Promised to hang out with me before hand, so really, I’m the luckiest. I can’t wait.

**__Movie Night__**

Either Max was early, or I misunderstood. I managed a cute outfit, and went up to chill blueside for a bit. Ran into Stormy and Rad. Steph showed, and I got a little girlie outfit approval, and thanked Steph for the Banana Bread. (BC made a sandwich with it... O,o wth lmao I love her so much)

I met up with Max, and we watched Dune 2 at the cinema by Afterhours. He was so handsome, all shirt and tie heh.

We talked about BC. I don't want to hurt him. He seems to understand, at least in general terms of thers's romantical hijinks afoot wit both of them, and they mean... just everything to me.

Makes me think about Jay, and the other "options" I might have, but I don't know that I want or need anyone else. I guess if I meet someone, and like Max and BC, I'll love them or not. I didn't pick Max, or BC, I just love them, like it or not.

So I'm going to just be happy now, and not "look". Not for "love". I want to look for friends, and find love if it's there. Like with Max and BC.

So, many jokes, much sugar, and several (not enough) kisses later, and I'm pretty sure I saw MOST of the movie. Sitting in Max's lap, well, almost, cuddling with him. No pressure or expectations. Just happy sweet love. Again... like nothing I've done... maybe ever. I mean, even in high school, I don't think I ever felt anything like that. In my experience, Rogue Isles boys were not... romantic.

I guess they gotta come from a powerful crime family to come out as nice as Max

He kissed me good night, at my doorstep. Such an amazing night. I didn't know I could have moments like that.

I shared this with BC... I'm glad she can read what I'm thinking here, understand me better. I messed up so badly there, I want to know she understands, that I haven't used the wrong words somehow, and said things wrong... or save her have to listen to too many long speeches about feelings, heh.

But I forgot about the pictures. I forgot I mentioned them. I don't mind so much that she knows. I hope she never has to see them. To see me like that. I wasn't ashamed when it happened, exactly, but I also didn't ask her to take them, and I certainly didn't ask her to sell them online. At first, I was kind of impressed at the amount of money. That seemed strange. Who pays a bunch of money for porn pictures?

I tried to get back in and get them from the server, but I couldn't access it. I'm not a hacker, what can I say.

And Now.. BC says she's going to get rid of them. Please.. don't let her get hurt, or get in trouble.

I worry, just a little.. that if Kass knows I'm worried about them, that if I draw any attention to them, she might get ideas. Might do something... but really, that's probably not going to happen. Kass would have to FEEL something, feel anger, feel resentment, over me. And I don't believe she has any such strong feelings, not for me. Fearing that drama is just ego, some sick part of me that wants Kass to be mad, to be hurt, to feel something over me leaving, but I don't believe it. Not really. Besides, I'd rather she just forgot all about me. If she did feel something, BC or Max might get hurt, and I don't want that, not for any reason.