#the most goth name ever
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fuckyeahorangecassidy · 2 months ago
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The cat's name is Dr. Edgar Allan Poe, Esq. And I just-- 🥹🐈‍⬛
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hypostatic-oath · 1 year ago
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I've started playing Honkai Star Rail and I love how dramatically silly it lets me be. So far I have stolen mail, searched garbage cans, entered a closet to become one with the darkness, waxed on about how life is just a road to death to a terrified guy (somehow that seemed to make him less terrified), bowed in respect to a dumpster, investigated an inconspicuous lamp so many times it got mad at me, investigated a trash can so many times it insulted me, and felt bad for two different trash cans and several sandbags (I believe my Trailblazer is going insane from putting up with me). All this not counting with the countless dialogue options with NPCs around the world that allowed me to be incredibly dramatic (think almost Fischl style) for no reason (you can bet I took them). However, I cannot jump or climb, and fights are turn-based... we respect our opponents in Star Rail (and die. A lot).
What I conclude from this is that while the Traveler has a moral code (and some standards) when dealing with interpersonal interactions but isn't bound by physical restrictions or conventions (stairs? The Traveler does not understand that concept. Fair fights? Please, they don't have time for that), the Trailblazer is the exact opposite. The physical rules may hold them but their only ties to social rules or convention so far have been March and Dan Heng saying "hey, maybe don't fight the guards" and "hey, you can't just accept random jobs".
It also might be because the Traveler is a thousand year old entity that has been through A Lot (has learnt the power of friendship, but is too tired to take the long route) and is on a serious mission while the Trailblazer was quite literally Born Yesterday with the sole purpose of housing a massive problem inside their body (walks and fights like a Normal Person bc they're mimicking everyone else, but is absolutely unhinged) and is just having fun with tjeir newfound existence.
Either way I love both of them and they're basically cryptids but in different ways.
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Pls goth spy 😞😞
She's so gongeous <3
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snarkmodeactivate · 9 days ago
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thinking about blorbo from my dnd campaign again
#snarky speaks#his name is king xarus maximiliano nunier travel braedelar-tallow y de leccatia#he sucks he rules and like seven people know about him#cat being dragged on a leash on a walk it doesn't want to be on of a tiefling#starts the campaign a paranoid marquis rogue jumping at his own shadow and the dark and the gods and ended a vengeance paladin of shar#he went briefly blind because of a blood curse from his ex so he couldn't see the ring his future spouse was trying to propose to him with#the most cat coded man but for someone he loves he'll bark lmao. has like 17 borzois and a whole royal kennel. he knits sweaters for them.#he would go to a goth concert and pretend he was just there to chaperone one of his daughters#he was willingly shot in the chest by one of the squad to resurrect his god from a dormant monster state#his whole life he thought he was an affair baby because his mother is a half-elf and his supposed father was human#but really a devil wormed her way into his parents' relationship and they're all kind of in love#his grandpa and aunt were gnomes (rip to a racist old king you tiny imperialist fuck)#he's a 6'2" albino tiefling with wings so you know his back muscles are crazy. he would rather die than be without his shirt#his favorite food is red snapper and shellfish paella#his spouse is the self proclaimed mad wizard of the kingdom whose gender is wizard and looks are immaculate#fashionable goth rich prettyboy shown up and dragged along on a leash by the most dazzling and cleverest person you've ever met in your lif#i'm obsessed with all of them. blorbos from my show (we made)#he's part of a queer polycule with the other members of their adventuring party
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ybcpatrick · 1 year ago
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Which one is the one with the Legg tattoos I wanna chew on him
THAT'S ANDY 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 HE'S MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE WHO I LOVE SOSOSOSOSSOO VERY MUCHY MUCH 💝💕💘💖💓💗💕💝💞💖💓💖💓💕💗💝💖💘💖
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from left to right: joe trohman (lead guitar), andy hurley (drums), patrick stump (vocals/rhythm guitar) and pete wentz (bass/lyrics)!! fall out boy band of all time full of sweet little lads hallelujah amen
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unhingedselfships · 2 years ago
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In The Tags/Reblog Game
Describe yourself in the most EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY My Immortal manner you can.
Feel free to stick as close to the original description format, or go completely off the rails.
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vinceaddams · 1 year ago
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I hope they're all finding really cool bugs and/or nice rocks & leaves.
i hope the 11 year old transmascs of the world arent on social media i hope theyre playing outside in the dirt
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wizzard890 · 1 year ago
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okay so picture this.
You're a man named Jim Steinman. You are one of the most prolific songwriters of the 80s. In your spirit, output and essence, you are eternally popping a wheelie on a motorcycle while a hot half-naked woman clings to you and bats wheel in the sky above.
You wrote a song in which Meatloaf plays a hideously disfigured hunk who steals a nubile lady back to his crumbling manor and introduces her to the pleasures of magic lesbian group sex.
You wrote a song in which Celine Dion sings as Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, dancing with Cathy's corpse on a beach in the moonlight; a scene which you, Jim Steinman, believe should have been in the book. (The moors of Wuthering Heights are landlocked, but you, Jim Steinman, are too fucking real to care about that.)
You wrote the song for the opening scene of the movie Streets of Fire, in which evil leatherdaddy Willem Dafoe leads his malefic motorcycle crew into a concert to abduct Diane Lane while she's wearing a skintight satin jumpsuit.
You wrote a song in which Bonnie Tyler wanders a haunted boarding school as literal demon twinks gyrate at her out of the fog.
There is no peak of goth camp that you, Jim Steinman, have not summited, no horny energy you have not tapped. They say that Alexander the Great wept when he saw there were no more worlds to conquer. But you, Jim Steinman, are not Alexander the Great. You, Jim Steinman, are better. You, Jim Steinman, have vision.
You take your most successful song, the song everyone knows, the most big-haired, white dress, gothic arches, doves flying, possessed choir boys chanting, bombastic song you have, and think: what if this, but with vampires.
And so you change the lyrics to be about death and infinity and a powerful bloodsucking lord seducing a girl who is ALL ABOUT IT, and then toss off a whole musical for this song to be the centerpiece to, and the musical is bad but it's also a weird hit that's been staged in fourteen countries and revived seven times, because nothing has ever whipped as campily, as ridiculously, as perfectly as this:
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It never takes off in America. A prophet is without honor in his own land. But that doesn't matter. How could it matter? You are perhaps the most creatively self-actualized man who has ever lived. Look at that vampire. He's coming in hot and a hundred Venetian nuns gave their lives to make his ludicrously capacious lace sleeves. Look at that girl. She was born in a fog machine. She wore her best red velvet cape. She's down bad. She's singing Total Eclipse of the Heart the whole time.
You are Jim Steinman, and you have reached apotheosis.
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1-0-1-0-1-1-1-1-0 · 2 years ago
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guys i fumbled the bag so hard he literally had a secret emo fursona and a dean winchester pfp i couldve had it all
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not-the-cheese · 1 year ago
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one sentence summaries of every TMA episode
(1-60 i'll add more soon)
part 2 up!
world's most effective anti-smoking PSA
man DOES NOT open coffin. everyone claps.
woman is judgemental towards neighbor even though she has hobbies that are just as weird.
book makes multiple people fall off chair.
man finds bag of teeth and decides he absolutely needs to fuck around and find out.
worm sti.
there was a SCARY MAN in the WAR.
fuck this tree
well at least ted bundy was a great father :)
i'm like 55% sure vampires are real and i'm willing to take those odds
bitches be dying. you're next.
we kill this man because he made the soda too warm.
sorry ur husband's dead. maybe get some help.
Unbox with me ! (GONE WRONG)
hah i'm safe from this one because i have decided to Never Go Into a Cave Ever.
man is so annoying about this spider that even his cat can't be bothered
man's bully finds a book about a Bone Turner and subsequently begins turning people's bones.
this guy sucks at DIY home improvement
aw maybe this priest didn't do anything THAT bad!
oh fuck nevermind
THE SKY ATE MY SON.
the worms stole my identity. i haven't left the house in days.
man beats german children at game of bravery and wins a coin (he later loses this coin)
my ex boyfriend gets casted in the muppets and dies
sorry mom, i've abandoned jesus for a new religion : jesus in the dark.
tall squiggly and HANDsome
old man arm wrestles demon through door knob
the buzzfeed unsolved guys finally catch a ghost but it's their sound tech
immortality but at what cost
working at the big meat factory was so traumatizing it made me vegetarian
i go to america and get almost killed by a furry
well if you love that wasp nest so much why don't you MARRY it (and then she did)
antisocial boat crew bands together to exclude one guy from a midnight party. he dies from the rejection.
bone apple teeth
remember when that norwegian guy threw a tantrum about us not digging a hole? turns out we were right to not dig that hole.
babe come over my parents have taken ill and passed away
man fucks around and it costs him everything
HOMOPHOBIC CHINESE VASE
oh god oh fuck the worms are here
thank you for participating in worms! please rate your wormsperience from 1 to 10.
the wormsperience has left me deeply scarred. i'm going to get lost in a tunnel about it.
🎸music makes me loose control🎸
spooky stories to tell at the next police slumber party
child threatens to run away and join the circus one too many times, and now the circus has come to cash in.
these mosquitoes are mad sus
man frequents local barnes and noble and then dies(?) after liking a book too much.
realtor gets eaten by the backrooms twice. it's a terrible shame.
both me and this weird goth dude have an unsatisfying italy vacation
guy who turns people's bones gets a new job where he continues to turn people's bones.
man who should never be allowed to build prisons builds a prison.
Something Big Is In The Water.
what if u heard me about 15 feet behind you fumbling around and calling out ur name 😳 (and we were both prison guards)
i'm going to be honest i didn't retain anything from this episode except that this guy has the silliest old man voice ever
everybody hates the tax man, including these creepy taxidermy animals
hmmgh. ant house.
so turns out being only 55% sure that vampires are real in my career as a vampire hunter has had some consequences.
the only thing keeping you company in space is your abandonment issues
🎶 the snack that smiles back 🎶 (my husband!)
maybe the real treasure was the house siblings we encased in spider web along the way.
your dead brother wrote books about ancient myths and WHAT
Part 2
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shizucheese · 10 months ago
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Hey guys, we need to talk. Because a certain little something in TMAGP 8 is causing what is genuinely the most toxic part of the Magpod fandom at large to once again rear its ugly head. So let's talk about podcast character appearance head canons, shall we?
I'm tagging this with the Magnus Archives, TMA and Magpod tags because I am absolutely calling all of you out, but if you don't want spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 8 then stop reading right now.
.
.
. Okay, so, Gerry exists in the TMAGP universe. He's happy (or at least acts cheerful). And some people have headcanoned this to mean that he is no longer goth, or at the very least isn't dying his hair black with bad box color. And other people have decided to get seriously agro over this. I have literally seen with my very own eyeballs someone call "un-gothing" Gerry a "hate crime" and calling the person they were talking to "gothphobic."
Let me make this absolutely clear for all of you: podcasts are a purely audio medium and unless a physical trait of theirs is explicitely stated, everyone's headcanon for how a character appears is valid. Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. But also
Rainbow Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid. Pastel Goth TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Not Goth At All TMAGP Gerry is valid.
Bald Gerry who has actually gotten his brain cancer diagnosed in time and is getting treated for it is valid. Somebody's headcanon of a character that has no canonical description to them, or whose headcanon matches the few crumbs of canonical description we have but otherwise doesn't look the way you imagine them to, is not going to take away from your own headcanon of what a character looks like. If someone imagining or drawing a character looking a different way from how you imagine them looking somehow takes away from your enjoyment of the fandom or otherwise makes you feel like you need to barge in and tell them that they're Wrong and need to conform to your headcanon or else, that is a reflection on you, not them.
And this problem way predates TMAGP, let alone TMAGP 8. The only description we have of John is that he is in his early 30's and has prematurely greying hair.
If someone thinks he looks like the pastiest motherfucker to ever dwell in a basement, an extra-in-the-Adam's Family or Tim Burtan protagonist of a man, let them.
What's that? You want to tell them that John is BROWN and if they don't headcanon him looking that way they're WRONG and RACIST? Back away from the keyboard and go outside.
(Ironically, as someone who started getting grey hairs in my hair in my 20's myself, I'm pretty sure everyone's headcanon of John, with tiny little whisps of grey in his hair, is wrong, because if he was so grey that people were surprised to learn he was "a child of the 90's," he was probably full on salt-and-pepper when he was in his 20's.)
The only description we have for Martin is that he (man who canonically has the self esteem of a used doormat) describes himself as "not the smallest guy", Not-Sasha called him "roomy", Melanie is skinner than him, and Jonny said he imagined him as a "bigger guy" who would beat Alex in a physical fight. If someone decides to take this information and conclude that it means he's tall, broad and has muscle, rather than that he's overweight, fucking let them. If your first instinct to this is to run to your keyboard and call them "fatphobic" or otherwise bash them for it, I once again urge you to back away from your keyboard and go outside.
Someone headcanons Basira not wearing a headscarf? We have exactly 0 canonical physical description of her and the people who headcanon her as having one are basing that purely off of her name alone. Fucking let them. Someone headcanons Melanie and/ or Georgie as a skin color you don't agree with or a hairstyle you don't like? Fucking let them. As long as someone's headcanon of a character's description doesn't contradict the few canonical descriptions we have of a character, why do you care? Them having a different headcanon from you doesn't take away your right to imagine the characters looking however you like, anymore than it should take away their right to do the same. Someone headcanoning John as white (or Black, or Asian, or Mixed, or whatever) isn't going to make all of the fanart of John as brown with long hair suddenly disappear, nor the fanfiction describing him as such (although I do often wonder if the opposite is not true; is the fact that John looks the same in so much of the fanart I see on here really because of fandom "consensus", or is it because people are absolutely awful to anyone who draws him Different?). Someone headcanoning Martin as not fat isn't going to make the mountains of fanart of him as a fluffy little marshmallow vanish into the void (although I do remember hearing about someone getting bullied off the internet for daring to draw Martin as not fat). And someone headcanoning Gerry in TMAGP as not being goth isn't going to take away your preciouse goth TMAGP Gerry headcanon. That should be part of the fun of it, shouldn't it? Seeing what different images people have conjured in their heads of these characters we only get to experience with our ears, and celebrating the differences as well as the similarities? Why are we bullying people into conforming to one appearance of a character when no actual canonical appearance of them exists?
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reineydraws · 1 year ago
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@giurochedadomani this au is eating my brain.
someone in the replies of the last post brought up dogsred, a hockey manga where a figure skater becomes a hockey player so that could be zoro lol
i mentioned it there but he becomes a meme bc he was messing around during practice and managed to score with three hockey sticks, one of which was in his mouth! three stick style 😎
like u mentioned, ace is roger's son but it's not common knowledge bc he wanted to make it on his own name instead of under his dad's, who has like, gretzky-level hockey fame. also holds some resentment bc the peak of roger's career was when ace needed him at home.
also like u mentioned, garp totally doesnt believe professional sports is a reliable career in the long run, and despises that most of his grandkids are pro hockey players, and his son went into speed skating and eventually became the olympic coach for the country's olympic speed skaters (incl sabo). koala is also one and her and sabo are on the mix-gendered relay skate.
by the time luffy gets promoted to captain, he's somehow amassed the weirdest team of pirates players ever seen, where many of the regulars just. don't have backgrounds in hockey? where did he find them? how did he convince the league to take them? who knows.
cross guild productions is the brain child of crocodile, who lent buggy a bunch of money to start his company and decided to do this when buggy couldnt pay up when he chased him diwn years later. croc also coaches mihawk, so he decides to strong-arm mihawk into doing guest performances, since he's such a big figure skating name, having the most olympic golds ever win by a single figure skater. mihawk doesnt want to do it until he hears the storyline for the performance, sees his costume sketches, and holds the prop sword. he's just a huge goth dork underneath it all.
after mihawk's grand internationally-aired romantic gesture succeeds and he gets shanks back, shanks manages to convince the cross guild that he's still a good enough skater to do an easy ice show, as long as he doesnt fall on his bad arm like a dumbass. he never does tricks, but people love the character they write for him, as he's so charismatic. he plays mihawk's rival in that season's little show, and gets his own prop sword. every single performance sells out bc mishanks is till a hot topic among ice skating and hockey fans.
sanji comes from a very strict, very decorous mma family, and he never fit in bc he likes cooking and skating. he ran away from home and found a fister parent in zeff, and worked at the baratie growing up, where zeff put him in hockey bc his kid likes skating but he also needs friends his age. despite never wanting to be like his birth family, ironically sanji's one of the best fighters on the pirates.
usopp is a forward and their best shot, and generally always makes it into the net from wherever he's shooting. despite this, he finds being a forward absolutely terrifying and is refularly intimidated by the big guys they face that have no problem getting in his face and starting fights.
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sanguineterrain · 9 months ago
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for the dc prompts you reblogged:
can i request jason todd x reader "someone likes being pinned down" + A flirting with B while sparring to throw them off their tracks
where reader is also a vigilante??
thank you so much 🩷
very sexy prompts thank u 😌
jason todd x gn!reader. r and robin!jay were friends, r doesn't know jason is alive/red hood but jason knows r is a vigilante. r's alias is 'nocturne' (if that's already in use oh well lmao). fighting/sparring, jason is mega in love with you as usual!!
all fics at @sanguinelibrary
****
"Still blindly following the Bat, huh?"
You land in a crouch on the rooftop, just like how Nightwing taught you. The Red Hood doesn't look at you, digging through two duffel bags. He doesn't even draw his gun, like you've seen him do with virtually every other vigilante in Gotham.
You wait, ready to spring into action. But Hood doesn't stop what he's doing. Slowly, you rise.
"What... do you mean?" you ask.
"I mean, why are you traipsing around Gotham as a bat-adjacent? Who are you s'posed to be anyway? Goth Bat? Alternative Scene Bat?"
"I'm Nocturne," you say, shoulders rising to your ears. Rude. You thought the chunky boots and star over your suit's eye mask were inspired.
Red Hood lifts a hand. "Don't get me wrong, I dig the threads. I'm just surprised B didn't have an aneurysm over the sequins. Then again, Discowing did do it first..."
Your first two meetings with the infamous Red Hood have been similar in that he's never very concerned about you stopping him (ouch), but he also isn't callous or cruel with you like he is with the other vigilantes.
Case in point: the last person who cornered Hood on a roof was Red Robin. Hood shot him in the shoulder before he could land.
In short, he's perplexing as hell.
Batman's forbidden the rest of the team to confront Hood without backup. And you're technically not supposed to be on patrol tonight. But if you can intercept Hood, that'll be a huge win.
Hood keeps on packing the duffels. You hesitate, then step forward.
"Get away from the bags," you say. "I won't ask twice."
Hood looks at you. "Nocturne's a pretty cool name, I'll admit. And I like the boots. But I still think you oughta call it quits."
He zips up the bags, stands, and kicks them to the corner of the roof.
"Because you're just that unstoppable?" you ask, hands curling into fists.
"Yeah. But mostly 'cause I know you're made for so much more than this, sweetheart."
And that is the third and perhaps most bewildering thing about your encounters with Red Hood: you've gotten the creeping feeling that he... likes you.
Which is ridiculous, and if you ever breathed a word of that to anybody, Batman would probably check you into Arkham.
You take another careful step forward. Hood leans against the railing and folds his arms.
"This the part where you apprehend and hogtie me for innocently packing a duffel bag?" he asks.
You glare. "Innocent? I know you're making a weapons delivery because I know you've been waiting for Batman to be off-planet to make it."
"Clever. Told ya you're too good for this," Hood says. "Should be in college with those smarts, not playing maid for Batman."
"Are you lecturing me?"
"I'm advising you as your friendly neighborhood drug lord. Lecturing makes me sound like a guy who's got too much money and too big of a savior complex to understand that the way he fights injustice is fundamentally flawed."
"Sounds personal."
Hood laughs. "Honey, you have no idea."
You strike.
Hood parries your first attack easily, which you expect. The truth is that whoever trained Hood cut no corners and you're still relatively new at vigilantism. It's only by the grace of God that Hood hasn't left you to bleed out on a roof.
You kick his shin, but Hood turns on the instep and blocks. You go for his shoulder, where his armor separates to give him more movement. But Hood's ready for that too, and he catches your arm.
"Gotta keep that right arm up," he says. "Surprised no one's trained that outta you yet."
You elbow Hood in the throat. He coughs and lets go.
"Like that?" you ask, muscles tense with adrenaline.
Hood makes a sound that might be a laugh, still choked from your hit. "Just like that, honeylove. Good job."
"I don't need feedback," you snap, immediately going back in for another hit.
"Sorry. I'll make this quick then. I do have a delivery."
On the next strike, you advance, using a technique Nightwing drilled into your head for bigger opponents. Hood goes down and you land atop him.
"Oh, that's a Nightwing takedown if I've ever seen one," Hood says beneath you.
You're close enough that you can hear his breathing through the decoder. Pride swells in you at taking him down. Not even Batman has managed such a thing.
Hood is warm and big. His shoulder span alone dwarfs you. When you'd seen him from afar, fighting Batman or Nightwing, you'd been terrified.
But now, perhaps stupidly, you feel comfortable. Annoyed, but safe. Something about him reminds you of home. Makes your stomach flip in a good way.
Which is terrifying.
"You're coming with me," you say, reaching for your cuffs.
"If only. Unfortunately, you've forgotten a teensy weensy detail, dearest."
Hood bucks you off, legs first. Your feet fly into the air, which allows him to flip your positions. You wince, preparing for a concussion upon impact as you go down. But Hood cushions your fall and neatly rolls you over. Your back is pressed into the concrete, hands locked over your head. Hood's weight holds down your hips and legs.
He looms over you, easily holding you down. Your face grows hot.
"How did—" You squirm in his grip. "I had you!"
"Weight distribution, sweets. Tell Al—one of the Bats to add weight to your boots. They keep you light on your feet, but you were depending on them too much to hold me down, and we ain't evenly matched there."
You thrash in his grip. "Hood, I swear to fucking—"
"Easy. Don't sweat it, sweetheart. You haven't been doing this for very long. That was a good takedown, regardless. I'm impressed."
"Screw you."
He hums. You can tell he's smiling under the helmet. "Sorry, I forgot. You don't like feedback."
Hood strokes the inside of your wrist. You aren't sure he's aware he's doing it. His grip is firm but light. He's not trying to hurt you. Your pulse is in your throat.
For a moment, you're both still. Hood seems caught in a trance, like even Superman couldn't tear him away from this moment. From you. And it's not that you're afraid, you're just... you're...
"How do you know so much about me?" you blurt, because it's puzzled the whole team. "You been spying on me?"
"'Course not. Unlike your boss, I respect privacy. No, I did research. I recognized you from when you'd hang around that second Robin. Shrimpy little guy. What'd ya even see in him?"
The grief overtakes you before you can control your mouth.
"You don't know anything about me or him," you spit. "Don't fucking talk about him. He had more skill and goodness in his pinkie than you'll have in a lifetime. And you could learn a thing from him about changing a city. He'd tell you that fear alone never works."
Hood is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks.
"Where's your distress signal?"
"Why would I tell—"
Hood shifts over you, cutting off your reply. He pulls a ziptie around your wrists. They're not even a little tight. You could probably slip out of them if you had five minutes.
"I know you're not s'posed to be out tonight," he whispers in your ear. "'S not your patrol night. Good thing you're my favorite."
You nearly swallow your tongue. "How do you—I don't—"
"Uh-huh. So you be good from now on, yeah? Wouldn't wanna have to keep tying you up like this."
You lift your chin. "We'll switch positions soon enough."
Hood snorts. "Okay, I know you heard how that soun—"
"I heard it," you say grumpily. "Just get on with it. Jerk."
"As you wish. Distress signal?"
"Collar."
Hood presses the button under your collar. Your breath hitches as his gloved fingers graze your neck.
"Oh? Does somebody like getting pinned down?"
"In your dreams."
Hood laughs. He zipties your ankles last, then sits you upright against the railing.
"Not too tight, are they?" he asks. "I know you've got a circulation problem."
You squint. "You seem to know a lot about me. Not fair that I don't know much about you, Hood."
"'S just business, honeylove," he says, scooping up his duffel. "Now I don't wanna see you in a suit anymore, comprende?"
"Or you'll what? Shoot me?"
Hood pauses, eerily still. He turns those glowing white eyes upon you. Your heart picks up.
"No," he says, so serious it startles you. "But someone else might. And I don't want you to face the same fate as your good friend Robin."
He vaults over the railing before you can respond. Your head thunks lightly as you lean back and wonder if you're really just business to the Red Hood.
(pt 2)
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madmanrambler · 1 year ago
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My favorite part of Gideon the Ninth (a sentiment that changes frequently) is the Camilla and Judith fight, and my favorite moment of that is when Harrow steps up and warns off the Eighth with 'death first to scavengers' because the reactions around the room are always so funny. There are comments like there's an alliance, like Sextus and Harrow have talked about this, like it was carefully orchestrated that the sixth house appeared weak when it was actually co-leader of one of the strongest blocks at Canaan House. These comments are so hilariously off the mark, and its so wild because all anyone really had to do was go talk to the 2 goth introverts like 3 times with a polite manner and they also probably would have gotten some of the most ride or die motherfuckers you could find in that spooky ass house.
I love that compassion, mutual respect and just plain equal footing are what ends up being key to so much of the series. I love that all it really takes is 4 different nerds ending up buddies to completely change the path of history. I adore team 69, a name they would have fought over heavily if they ever discussed the team up name.
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potheadkiki · 6 months ago
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HII... hear me out. Pool sex with katsuki..??
I know you want pool sex but honestly sex in one of those hot springs sounds so much better
⚠Warning⚠
18+ content
Bakugo being a simp but refusing to admit it
Pet names (princess, angel, babe, etc)
Some slut shaming but it's fine
Chubby reader
Bakugo is 6'4
Reader is goth
Marijuana
Reader has the ability to sonic scream similar to black Canary
Side note I am taking more requests if anyone is interested
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After UA everyone is class 1-a kept in close contact. Coincidentally both you and Bakugo are in neighboring agencies and see each other quite often at mixers and group parties. One day both agencies claimed that after the most recent villain attack that everyone needed to take a break so each company decided that every hero draw a number and the two heroes that drew the same number would leave for a week to go to an all expenses paid spa with traditional rooms and a private hot spring bath. Today was no different, everyone is lined up and as one of the assistants comes along with a jar everyone grabs a piece of paper, today's number was 78, unfolding your little piece your heart stops, 78 in bold is staring back at you, stepping forward claiming the first spot wondering who you'll be going to the resort with. The agency is on FaceTime and you watch as Bakugo steps forward on the screen holding the same number as you and you feel as your stomach flips your going to be alone with him for a week, he'll be in one of those kimonos and as you imagine it your face heats up. You've been in love with this guy ever since your days at UA he'd never see you that way of course you may be smart and have a sonic scream but you're also a slacker pot head from the US. You hear as everyone cheers for you and congratulates you on being able to take the week off with Bakugo no less. Finishing up the rest of your shift trying to ignore all the comments everyone is making some rude or snarky, your friends however made encouraging remarks and how this could be your chance to seduce him. As your day comes to an end your phone vibrates looking at it your heart races
Bakugo: Guess you're gonna be in my space for a week huh?
Reading the message you laugh he hasn't changed really
You:Yeah I guess so huh you'll just have to forgive me
You reply attempting to be a little flirty but also keep the same energy
Bakugo: I'll find some way you can make it up to me don't worry
Reading that your heart is basically in your asshole I mean how are you supposed to respond to that. You're going to be alone with him and now the entire time this will be all you can fucking think about.
You: yeah you do that lol
You reply trying to defuse the situation and not think about having the best sex life could possibly give you
Bakugo: oh don't doubt me I will
You have no idea what to say simply telling him that you'll see him in the morning and to sleep well.
--next day
You make your way to the agencies where they have a company car that they'll give you unfortunately you don't have your license so that means Bakugo will have to drive he just scoffs at that but you smile
Putting your things in the trunk you're kinda nervous honestly the only bathing suit you have is a bikini with mushrooms that is kinda low cut. Grabbing the special blanket with dragons on it that you've had since high school and need with to sleep successfully, slipping in the passenger seat getting comfy. Bakugo seeing this and scoffing again before saying
"Look at you fucking passenger princess ass" you blush at that he wasn't being mean or rude
"It's a three hour drive bakugo I wanna be comfy"you say shyly holding your blanket close to your chest
"Yeah yeah whatever get comfy then princess it's gonna be a long drive" he says placing the car in reverse putting his hand on the back of your seat watching as he turns his head to see where he's going before pulling out of the parking spot once he's out he puts the car in drive and your face goes red not only did he just call you princess but he did that thing when driving too not realizing the smirk on his face as he pulls on the highway the smirk of victory.
Bakugo has been thinking about this since yesterday morning he's going to get a week with you alone completely. He's basically been in love with you ever since you transferred to the hero course here in Japan. You're smart, kind, beautiful, and you rarely care what others think of you and he loves that. He's aware you smoke it helps with your quirk apparently. He has discovered that he has quite a thing for watching you smoke. The way you purse your lips and inhale, the way you lick your lips when dry, the way the smoke escapes past your lips. Fuck he needs to focus on driving he can't be hard right now. Taking a quick glance towards you he sees you cuddle up with said blanket, only one earbud in with something playing on your phone, you however seem interested. He doesn't want that. He wants to talk to you, he wants to be at the center of your attention. He knows its toxic and crazy since he himself needs to focus on driving but that doesn't mean they can't talk. Right?
"Put your phone down and talk to me. If I fall asleep at the wheel it's your damn fault." He says glancing in your direction.
"If this is your way of asking for me to start a conversation with you then I definitely feel like you could have done that differently but okay" you say huffing out a laugh before continuing the conversation
"What's the first thing you want to do when you get? I know personally I want to soak in that gorgeous hot spring maybe smoke a little joint, if its okay with you of course." He watches you say that with a cheeky smile. Maybe he'll join you this week is after all supposed to be relaxing and that does sound quite nice.
"what a dumb question of course imma see if they have a gym" you rolling your eyes thinking naturally
"Then find some to eat maybe and maybe in between everything I'll join you if I feel like it of course." He says side eyeing you with a slight smile only to catch that you're sporting a similar cheeky smile with pink cheeks. And that's how it went for the next three hours idle chit chat and stupid questions mostly. So when he pulls up to this large log house that has steaming chimney your pupils basically turn into hearts. It's gorgeous the way the sun hits against the large mountains and shines through the trees god you never want to leave and you haven't even stepped into the building.
Once you've both registered with secretary and got your room key (turns out its one of those two in one rooms with a single bamboo room divider) but bakugo opted for just opening the divider doors claiming they'res just more space this way they would have had to share the hot spring anyways since it's a connected room and all. Most of the time they were assigned to people with relativity large families or two pro heroes on vacation. He watches in amusement as your eyes light up again before turning back around and clapping your hands together exclaiming 'right' turning your head to face him giving a soft smile
"I'm about to pack a cone and change into my bikini would you like to join me for a soak and smoke if will" He rolls his eyes at that god you can be so corny sometimes but he listens as you go on
"Then we could find some place to eat or order in either or I don't care"
"yea whatever just let me know when you're done I'm not gonna sit around in my damn trunk" He says with a slight blush thinking of the two of you together alone in a steamy bath while you wear a bikini, fuck he feels like a teenager again and he hates it. He manages to busy himself which in hindsight could have been a mistake because when he hears you clear your throat, whipping his head around he's faced with you in a mushroom styled bikini top that hugs your tits perfectly, realizing just how big they are considering you usually wear large/baggie t-shirts, and a simple pair of black bottoms that hug your ass perfectly, letting a groan slip past his lips as he stands up quickly
"Jesus woman you scared the shit out of me, just wait for me outside I'll be out there in like 10 minutes" he says not making eye contact with you as he walks away. You step outside washing yourself off before heading over and sitting at the edge with your feet dangling into the water, gently moving your feet back and and forth in a swishing motion making sure no water actually splashes up at you, not yet at least, lighting a joint with wet hands is a real bitch, your thoughts only really stopping when you hear the pitter patter of bakugos bare feet against the smooth rock turning your head you give him a smile
"Hey I waited for you before smoking I wasn't sure if you wanted to or not but if you did we could share" You say with that stupid smile while holding up said joint and an ORAGNE lighter he doesn't know why but it makes his heart jump at the thought that maybe you bought it thinking of him little does he know how right he actually is.
"Okay jesus let me rinse off first before you start rushing me" Rolling your eyes at this but giving a slight okay anyways. You can't help as your eyes follow his every movement watching as his back muscles flex and constrict due to his movements. Blush enveloping your face and a little of your neck god your going to be spending a week here with this man. Bakugo being a little tipsy as he took some shots of Soju to help calm his nerves but its doing the exact opposite maybe smoking will help he thinks when he smells it, the potent stench of marijuana. Turning his head he watches as you stand up water splashing as you walk towards him with the joint between your lips gently sucking and exhaling the smoke, he watches as your hips sway walking towards him, getting close to his face pushing said joint up against his lips as a silent plea to open his mouth and when he does you get a full whiff of alcohol and you take a step back as you look at him
"Were you in there drinking? Whats up? You know you can tell me anything right?" You say leaning down a little to make sure you force eye contact since he's been avoiding it. You watch as he groans and takes a hit before coughing slightly and handing the joint back to you without saying anything he steps into the water submerging himself halfway into the steaming water before looking back at you as a silent way of asking if your coming or not and you do walking over and you sit next to him smoking the joint a little, looking at him as he scratches the back of his neck almost ashamed, opening his mouth but he doesn't say anything so you hand him the joint again, he's clearly nervous, taking it from your hand he inhales harshly handing it back to you as he falls into a small coughing fit. Watching as he sputters a little, laughing at him a little amused, getting in closer to gently rub his back and help calm his breathing again. Not realizing that in getting to close your breast have pressed up against his side in hopes of calming him down
"Okay i'm fine now so you can move" He says shifting away from you and you smile a little giving a short 'sorry' you say looking at him in hopes that since you moved away he would tell you whats wrong with him
"Okay so we met in ua and you've always been so annoying with that damn smile of yours and the way you laugh,being able to light up a room with a single twinkle from your eye and that isn't even your quirk, I remember thinking for a split moment that maybe you were just like icy-hot with two of em but no and even after all that your damn smile was still to bright. Then we got put in neighboring agencies and we drew this dumb fucking lottery" And threw this whole interaction you could tell he was getting frustrated and you weren't entirely sure where he was going with this but it clearly has something to do with pent up feelings so you grab his hands taking a leap of faith pushing them against your chest getting closer looking at him with pleading eyes
"Please don't stop. I want to hear what you have to say. All of it." You say holding his hands tight against your breast and you watch as he looks away a blush spreading to the tip of his ears
"Fuck I just- I don't know I'm still trying to figure how to say shit" he says quickly and you realize that's true he's always been a man of action
"Well don't say anything then" you say gripping his hands pressing your breasts harder into his arm getting closer, he looks at you thinking that maybe it's the alcohol or the weed but whatever it was he could feel his inhibition lowering along with his head as his lips connect with yours, groaning as you push your chest up against his, slipping into his lap as his arms wrap around your waist possessively squeezing you tight, pulling away you giggle at his possessiveness
"Why you squeezing me so tight?" You say laughing a little more and he hides his face in your breasts before mumbling something and you grip his hair a little which seems to get the memo as he pulls away
"Like hell I'm letting you go now" he mumbles hiding his face in your neck as his hips rut up against yours causing you to gasp out changing angles which puts his face right in between your breasts as his grip on you tightens and his rutting becomes rougher the water begins of the hot springs sloshing with his movements as you grip his hair grinding down and meeting his thrusts until he suddenly stops causing you to let out a whine and he pulls away from your chest much to his dismay chuckling
"I'm not cumming till I get to feel that pussy wrapped 'round me" he says almost slurred as his eyes droop grabbing your ass roughly as he picks you up sitting you on the stone side and you shiver arching your back against him
"It's cold Suki" you say whining as you feel goosebumps spread across your body and he just rolls his eyes
"You'll be fine. I gotta open you up baby" he says and you blush you've only had sex three times neither of them enjoyable which is something you should probably admit but you don't want to ruin the mood because you want to be with him and you can feel your mind running
"Hey speak up tell me to stop" he says and you grip his hand
"No! God no please. I want to be with you but I've only done this a couple of times and none of them enjoyable so I don't want to disappoint you with my own inexperience. But it's not like I think this will be bad or anything and that's another reason I'm nervous" you say but realize that you've been rambling quickly but you see as his eyebrows scrunch
"So you're worried that you won't be able to keep up and that basically I'm going to fuck you like no one else could?" He says kinda nonchalant and a blush spreads across your face at how he could simplify your insecurities in a crude way. But you giggle
"Yeah I guess kinda. I mean everyone talks about how good it can feel like leg shaking and it's scary and what if you leave after or think I make a weird face" you say giggling a little throwing your hands up in defeat
"Well I want to do with you no pressure, obviously, but I can also guarantee that I will make you feel good and like hell I'm leaving your ass I already got a taste of you." He says with a smile leaning in between your legs nibbling at your left ear
"You promise" you say a little wobble to your voice. His hands are exploring your thighs gripping, squeezing and even pinching at your thigh
"Trust me baby I fuckin promise you're stuck with me now." You giggle a little and he leans in kissing your cheek
"Okay well I'm done over thinking. You gonna fuck me now?" At that his lips connect with yours, his hips slotting between your thighs as one of his hands slips behind your back grabbing one of the loose strings pulling it untying the top. Once untied he slips the straps down your arms throwing your top somewhere, pulling away licking his lips as he grabs at your boobs kissing your chest before he moves his way down to your right breast. Holding your right breast up he gently suckles on the nipple as his left hand tugs and pinches at your other one. Feeling as he nibbles and bites at your nipple tugging with his teeth causing your back to arch and grip at his hair feeling him still grounding down on you. His left hand travels down your stomach and slips into your bottoms as his head moves towards your left nipple giving it the same attention and hickies. He pulls away slipping his hand out your pants causing you to whine in an exaggerated manner to show your disappointment.
"Cmon don't be a brat I gotta get you out of these" he says referring to your bottoms and you blush as his hands grab at the hem of them looking at you to indicate to lifting your hips up and you do listening happily at the implications. God the man you're in love is about to finger you and it turns out he feels the same way I mean like what? That's crazy?
"Mhm damn look that pussy baby"he says with a wicked grin leaning down getting into the water until he's face to face with your pussy feeling as it throbs while it clenches and unclenches around nothing covering your face in shame because you just know he can see it happen and judging by his laugh you're right.
"Mhm look at this desperate pussy clenching around nothing you're so desperate aren't you baby?" He asks clearly rhetorically since he doesn't wait for you to respond before he slips his pointer finger inside curling it up searching for that spongy spot inside and he can tell instantly when he finds it based on how you whine and clench your thighs around his head that was barely a breath away from your pussy almost feeling his breath fan against your most sensitive area. He laughs at your sensitivity deciding to add his middle finger repeating the same action curling his fingers upwards. Feeling his breath get closer and closer until you feel his tongue lick at your clit. Your head throws back, grabbing a fist full of his hair from the intense stimulation finding ground yourself to something as you feel his fingers move curl non stop and his lips suck and lick at your clit. Feeling as not only your thighs clench around his head but the knot in your stomach as well. Back arching deeper as his fingers do the same inside you so desperate to make you cum
"I'm-im gonna cum Suki fuck I can feel it!" You exclaim as your back gives out falling back against the stone as you cum on his face thighs shaking and convulsing as his fingers milk you for everything your worth. You feel as his fingers gently pull out whining at the loss. Whining about the stones being cold Bakugo laughs at you calling you a baby and you watch as he licks his lips as he grabs your wrists pulling you back into the water as he sits down on the middle step pulling you down with him landing on lap realizing he must have ditched his swimming trunks at some point looking down in the water blushing god he's so big
"Like what you see baby? This is what's gonna go inside you baby." He says whispering in your ear as he grinds his cock against your bare pussy. Gasping as you wrap your arms around his neck tight clearly nervous at the anticipation
"If you want to stop we can" he says clearly being able to sense your nervousness. But you pull away quickly
"No! I mean no. *you say gasping trying to keep your cool* I don't want to stop I'm just a little nervous. So please just be gentle with me" you say seductively grinding down and he groans
"God damn you're gonna be the death of me you know that?" And you giggle at the comment. Kissing his cheek
"Alright princess take a deep breath" he says lovingly as you feel him lift your hips gasping as you feel his cock rub at your clit before poking at your entrance
"Told you to breathe damnit" he says as he pushes his hips up against yours. Your head throws back again to the feeling of him stretching you open, his hands grip at your waist pushing you down as well to meet his hips until he's completely bottomed out inside you. He can feel as your breath hitches and your heart quickens
"Calm down" he says as you feel his right hand rub circles into your lower back. There's a proud smile on his face as he realizes that almost instantly you try to regain control of your breathing. God she's such a good girl he thinks. Feeling as you begin to move your hips grinding down slowly.
"Yeah baby? You gonna use me and my cock to please yourself?" He asks as he buries his face into your breasts sucking hickies into your sternum as his own hips begin to move. Water sloshing with the movement of both of you.
"Mhm you feel that baby? Are your thighs shaking for me?" He asks clearly proud of himself you both keep a steady pace as he fucks into you and you meet his thrusts feeling the pressure build again as your thighs do shake from the pleasure but they're beginning to burn your so fucking to close to cumming again you just can't keep going fuck
"Please- please *gasping* I can't keep doing it my thighs burn help me" you whine burying your face into his neck as you suck your own bruises into the skin. He groans at the feeling but you feel as his hand grab at your ass cheeks pulling them apart slightly as he begins fucking up against you roughly hitting your g-spot perfectly as his other hand slips between your bodies finding your clit and begins to play with it.
"Mhm damn I can you clenching around me love. You gonna cum. Yea fucking cum do it for me. I'm so close too." He says hips moving more erratic so desperate to make you cum first. And his efforts begin to pay off as he feels you clench around him the same as you did against his fingers.
"I can feel you clenching. I know you're gonna cum just do it." He says and that's basically all it takes before you're cumming around him but that doesn't stop his own thrusting. You feel as he picks you up sitting you against the stone as he fucks into you harsher cumming inside you as he pulls out you whine and he laughs
"Why did you put me back on the stone? It's cold." You whine as he rolls his eye
"I didn't want to cum in the water. Don't want to ruin the hot spring do we? Still wanna be able to use it yeah?" He says kissing you and you blush cause he's right god how embarrassing. He picks you up and takes you to the bathroom sitting you on a stool that sits in front of the shower head.
"Alright love let's get cleaned up then we can smoke a little more and cuddle. Yeah?" And you blush at that cuz fuck yeah that sounds amazing. The fact that he fucked your brains out, is gonna bathes you and then smoke with you while watching TV god you really are in love.
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muntitled · 2 months ago
Note
Would you ever make a Rodrick Heffley (Devon Bostick) x black!fem goth reader?
She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
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Rodrick Heffley x afab!reader
Summary: Sleeping with him hadn't been a mistake. Your only mistake was leaving the morning after.
Warnings: Language, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Perv!Rodrick, Fluff, Insecurities, Goth!Reader, Rodrick is Whipped, Smut +18 (mdni), Make Up Sex, Praise Kink, Bondage, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Needy Sex, Fingering
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You were not a weak person, nor are you ever so overly emotional. 
In fact, most of everyone who knew you ( admittedly a very small amount) would describe you as anything but weak
So what the hell is this?
"What do you think I should say when I get there?” Your voice is as rocky as a glacier and the sun is burning heavily through your fishnets. You could feel every heat ray seep through your long sleeved Black Sabbath shirt and your make up was feeling particularly cakey. Were it not for your best friend forcing you to face Rodrick, you would've been happy to spend the rest of your day huddled up in your listening, listening to the grave sounds of Bauhaus as you unplaited your hair.
The sun wouldn't normally be a problem for you. You'd wear these clothes if the sun was at your doorstep.
But right now, your senses are heightened. The stares you get wouldn't normally bother you, but this friday afternoon, they're piercing all over you. 
"You look constipated," your best friend says as she clutches her glitter covered notebook to her chest. "Stop that-" her lips stained in hot pink pull into a downwards smile.
In contrast, your black stained lips are pulled in a very obvious frown while the dread consumes your face. You walk side by side towards the boys dorm and usually the juxtapositioning doesn't bother you, but a great many things bother you today. You feel like a dark cloud beside her quirky pink perfumed self. Her hair is long and reigned in with a pink bow while your black braids were constantly tied back with a black knitted scrunchie. The juxtaposition didnt bother you.
This afternoon, you’re just hyper-aware of all the boys peppered outside the dormitories. And all their eyes are looking through you. As if you were nothing but a spectre.
Everyone except Rodrick seemed to look through you. When you had met him, it was as if a veil was lifted and suddenly you were thrust into the light.
You had been wall-flowering at a party in your first year of university. Your best friend, lost among the crown while you dug your earbuds in.
If it weren't for the shadow that had fallen over your frame, you might have fallen asleep right then and there, to the sound of Ghost’s instrumentals blasting in your eardrums.
You noticed him waving frantically at you, having yet to remove your earbuds. You didn't know what to make of his thickly applied eyeliner or his messy-on-purpose head of hair. But back then, you didn't really trust this university setting. 
For all you knew, his Joy Division shirt was a means to trap unsuspecting weird girls into sleeping with him.
And so with a very unimpressed frown you had shaked your head and said, “Sorry, I dont have any change,”
He threw his head back in laughter at that. 
He liked you even more now. 
Sure you were the only girl at this party he could ever imagine exchanging saliva with but now he realised you had a personality too? He was a goner.
“I’m not homeless,” His voice reached your ears and you soon realised that he had forcefully removed one bud, “Just wanted to ask you what you were drinking,”
“Why?” Your eyes scanned from his face, to his worn out boots, “Are you planning on messing with it?”
“Jesus,” He cackled, “I should've mentioned that I’m very clearly not a member of any sort of frat.” He raised his hands and said, “I come in peace,”
“I’m not planning on sleeping with you,” 
“I dont need to drug you to get you to sleep woth me,” He leaned awkwardly against the wall and said, “I’m in a band,”
“That doesnt work on me,”
Except it had, and that very evening you and Rodrick had exchanged saliva in a very long make out session that carried you to his on-campus dorm room. 
The very building you are currently navigating, in search of his room.
“I can feel my heart beating out my ribcage,” Your best friend stops in front of a door, one of many down a very long hall.
“It's  fault for ditching the guy the morning after,”
“I didn't ditch him,” You murmured, staring at the floor in shame,
“I'm sorry,” she says, “but the walk of shame story I keep hearing from the football boys about the girl dressed in black fleeing the halls can only be one person-”
“Just go talk to your boyfirned,” You had grumbled.” The door swung open. Your best friend pushed you in the direction of room 7112 as she said, “And you go talk to yours,”
Before you left, you quickly asked, “So, I like… look okay?”
She shook her head, causing another nauseating wave of anxiety to flood your system. “You look like you crawled out of a cemetery.” She says, assessing your very plain and incredibly boring black long-sleeve shirt and your ripped black skirt worn overy ripped stockings.
“Which is how you usually look,” She says, causing your heart to lessen its alarm, “All that black lipstick will send the Freakshow into an absolute spiral,” She winked before sending you on your merry way.
When Rodreick Heffley hears a knock on his door, he almost immediately assumes it's for his roomate. Then he remembers he’s a third year, with no roommate in sight. “Uh-What is it!?” Is all he screamed at the door, hoping that whoever it is would leave him alone. He hadn't been too close, the actress on his laptop screen was far too loud, and far too… perky. He knew that if he closed his eyes and just focused hard enough, he'd be rid of this horrible boner that had been plaguing him for weeks.
Since you left him.
“Don’t do that,” Rodrick squeezed his eyes shut, “Do not think about she-who-shall-not-be-named.” The knock sounded again and he angrily paused his video as he stuffed his cock back into his jeans. Rodrick cursed as he wied his hand with some clothing item littering across his floor and his voice is less-than-friendly when he rips the door open.
“Uh-”
He has to take a moment to close his eyes. When he opens them, you are standing there, sheepishly raising your hand to wave.
“She-who-shall-not-be-named,” He says in an airy whisper.
“What?” You tilt your head questioningly.
Before you can get another word out Rodrick slams the door in your face. Unbeknownst to you, he’s trying to get rid of a week's worth of masturbation material. Evidence of how badly you had affected him, how lonely he had been since you left. He even opened the curtains and when he opened the door again, you noticed he smelled vaguely like aftershave.
“W-What brings you back here?” He tries to be cold. He really does. But this is you. His heart is soaring at the very sight of you. 
Beautiful you. 
In your dark eyeliner and equally dark lips.
He looks away because he has to. You hadnt even said more than 5 words to him but his body was already having a very niticebale response to your presence.
He opens the door wider as he lets you in, “Did you forget something?” He all but sneers and you squeeze your eyes shut as you slide his door closed behind you. You were in this room again and the flashbacks were almost unstoppable. You remembered the way he kissed you. The way he prioritised your pleasure-
“I’m sorry,” You say, completely knocking the wind out of him, “When I left like how I did, I thought I was protecting myself… I didn't know if you wanted anything serious,”
“I would’ve told you I did,” He says, staring at the ground as he stands in the middle of the room, like a tall tree lost in the middle of nowhere, “but we were a little too preoccupied sucking face,”
You snort at that, and he smiles too.
He didn't wanna admit how terribly he had taken your departure. You were the first girl that liked him back. The first girl to actually like his presence. The first girl he could talk to about the things that made him smile. The sleepless nights bled into restless days. Days spent coaxing a jumpy knee under every table…
“So you missed me then?” A smirk flitted on his face as he folded his arms. You rolled your eyes as the cockiness reared its head, moving to sit down on his bed as you hid your smile.
“I didn't say all that,” You declared,
"Don't be like that," he says stalking towards you, his voice suddenly serious but a smile still present, "I know you missed me,"
The arrogance dripping from his voice escalates your blood pressure and sends all your inner systems into overdrive. As his shadow falls over you, you unconsciously lean further against the bed until you're lying supine. "You look like a whore," You can't help but say, eyeing his tight short sleeve shirt showing off a sliver of his waist.
He gasps, "Whatever do you mean?" Rodrick playfully lifts a leg up as he crawls on top of you. "Is the seduction working? Because yours is working on me. I’m trying incredibly hard not to eye-fuck you right now," He's made himself comfortable on his side but his eyes are the very juxtapositioning of 'relaxed'. They unapologetically scan your thighs, clad in your netted stockings
"Get over here," he rasps, "My patience is running incredibly thin," and so you do. You lift your torso and he hovers over you as you both meet in the middle. Rodrick murmurs against your lips, the kiss is furious and hurried and you don't know where to put your hands, "Everything about you is so fucking electric," if only he knew, the only electricity, in your mundane life was brought on by him. 
With him, your life was a hazy sea of black eyeliner and a never sweet, loud music. He made you feel alive.
Rodrick’s lips push furiously against yours, scolding you for your absence, punishing you for your distance. "Crazy," he says as his lips drift to the side of your mouth, "I've been going fucking crazy without you,"
Your mind races with the sudden electrifying feeling of having him back. Rodrick’s hands slithered to the nape of your neck, as he eases your head onto the mattress.
Rodrick’s hand soon finds your breast, soft under the fabric as he groans against your skin. “Fuck, I might not last long,” He admits, already rolling his hips into yours.
“Me too,” You admit, causing another loud moan to leave his lips.
He silences you with another fervid kiss. You're completely lost in him. In the intense smell of weed and leather. The unmistakable sting of metal on your skin. His full and awfully skilled lips are far too eager to get to your breasts. 
"This-" he rasps. You’re not even cognitively aware that he's lowered you onto the blanket, his teeth feel far too fucking good as they scrape along the material covering your breasts, "This shit," he hovers lightly above you, "This shit needs to come off."
"Are you asking for my permission?" You prop yourself up by your forearms, mouth swollen from his kisses as you smirk. "Since when did Rodrick Heffley ever ask permission for anything in his life?" 
Your words send a warm string of pleasure straight through his cock and he audibly groans as he sits back on his haunches. 
He sings in an awfully cherry voice: "Hands up now! Be a good girl," 
"You're fucking crazy," You whisper as you raise your hands, letting him undress you.
He watches you like a hawk, gauging your every reaction, to make sure you even wanted this- even wanted him at all. The moment your nipples, dark and erect, come into his field of vision, he knows he’s done. "This isn't gonna hurt," he whispers, feeling the need to reassure you. "I promise-"
"Rodrick?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm begging you to fuck me," 
Every single part of your being was screaming for him since the moment you arrived.  You had barely been able to keep a straight face throughout the entirety of your mindless conversation.
"You look so fucking hot right now," he says, lowering his lips to your ear, sending a plethora tiny, reassuring kisses, as if trying to distract you from your wrists meeting above your head, and the jangle of the metal joinging them together. 
You look up and your heart rattles when you notice him binding your wrists above your head.
"You have no fucking idea how much I've thought about this moment," the usual rasp in his voice is somehow raspier, darker.
"You've thought about this?" You queried as he stripped your bottom bare, “Kinky, Kinky boy,” You say as your legs spread unprecedentedly. He sends an awed look at your legs before staring back at you.
"Fuck yes," he replies, "I've had nothing but my hand to-" he chuckles dryly, "fill the void,"
He tugs on the cuffs and you gasp, completely unprepared for the wave of arousal that washes over you. "These good?" He asks and you nod.
“Perfect," Rodrick lowers his head to your supine body once more, "I think you're fucking perfect," 
He drags a hand over your body, over the curve of your breast and over the softness of your belly until his fingers meet your exposed cunt. Your head is a wild cloud of braids against the blanket but you could hardly care. You couldn't care less about how completely needy you were for him.
"Jesus- Rodrick" his fingers slip through your folds, eager to spread the embarrassing amount of slick already accumulated there. 
"I need you to promise me," Rodrick watches his hand disappear in your pants as he begins to set a steady, mind numbing pace.
"What're are you- Holy fuck, just there," your back arches off the blanket, eager for your clit to meet his fingers. But he relents.
"I need you to promise me you'll never disappear again."
There's an agonisingly slow build-up as Rodrick’s callused fingers tease your sensitive clit. 
"You gotta say it, Babe, or the declaration is null and void-"
"Yes!" You reply with a quickness, "Okay? I-yes..."
There's a shit-eating grin that splayed over his face. "Now the fun begins," 
You're far too focused on bringing yourself to orgasm, but your entire plan crumbles when he slips his hand out of your pants. You glare up at him, dissatisfaction radiating off of you in waves.
"Don't be like that,” He teases. “I've got little Ole needs too." His quick in discarding his shirt, and as he does so, your anger dissipates for a few heavenly seconds. His tattoo is a glorious patch of ink splashed on an ivory wall. A mark any normal person would undoubtedly regret in their later life and see as the product of a dumb adolescent mistake. But Rodrick never regretted anything he did. He was as firm as the ground beneath you.
"I fucking-" His lips meet the inside of your thigh, "-can't believe this is a thing that's happening,"
"It's happening," You say, unable to curb your enthusiasm. Your own voice is thick with desire. 
"I need you so fucking bad." He says, "I need to be inside you so fucking bad," 
Rodrick is quick to lower his jeans. He uncovers his hard cock, moving his hand along its length, as he stares at you in complete awe. "Hey, Babe?" You begrudgingly drag your gaze away from his hand to his face. "Try not to have the time of your life, m'kay," 
You're about to chide him but he slams his cock all the way into you. His movements are sloppy as they are hurried, and your eyes roll back from the intensity at having every single need met.
"Fuck yes, Rodrick!" Your wanton moans bounce into his ears, filling him with brazing satisfaction. Your hands cuffed above your head elicit another wave of pleasure. Youre utterly bared to him.
"You're never leaving me again, alright?" His forearm is beside your head, allowing him to watch you intensely as he pounds his cock further in. "You're never gonna pull that shit again," His angry thrusts punctuate his sentence, pushing every unsavoury sound out of your throat.
"I fucking promise- OH FUCK-" He sends a hand in between your intwined bodies, flicking your clit and having your cunt tighten deliciously around him.
"Are you gonna cum already?" 
"Shut the fuck-"
"Don't worry," he buries his head in the nape of your neck. "I'm right behind you,"
Rodrick’s thrust deepens and his pace around your clit accelerates until you're finally pushed over the edge. Your vision sprinkles with flecks of light as blind as the stars above you as you cum. "OH JESUS-SHIT," Rodrick pulls out of your wet cunt. Hurriedly stradling your hips before shooting ropes of cum all over your stomach.
You don't mind.
You feared Rodrick could get away with anything.
"Holy fuck- I-Im so sorry," 
He quickly somersaults up from his overzealous fit of pleasure and peers down at you wide-eyed. "Jesus Christ I- I should get you cleaned up," 
You chuckle, as you watch the boy scramble to find the keys to the cuffs. "Don't worry- I could just rinse off in the later-"
His ears perk up at that. Rodrick looks down at his nail painted in onyx, “L-Later?” He asks shyly. That means youre staying.
“Yes. Later.”
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