#the more the book goes on the more it becomes clear that he's just kind of weird and that's okay

[sassygaykuja]

best part of mdzs is meeting lan zhan for the first time and he's strange and cool and doesn't talk much and i initially chalked his weird ethereal vibes up to being something innate to the lan clan and the juniors just weren't there yet, and then you meet his brother and he's just a completely normal guy

[bunnybunbun0]

renaissance

summary: because Paul Atreides was a piece of art in bed.

pairing: Paul Atreides X fem!reader

warnings: smut,porn without plot,

A/N: with the hype of dune part two being released i finally got my shit together and watvhed part one years later and oh.my.god. Seeing timmy play a serious important yet loving duke just rocked me a bit. i hope you guys like this!

sorry its short i wasnt planning on writing it,it just came t mind.not proofread,we die like real man. english is not my first language so be kind!

you are responsible for your own media comsumption! :)

credits to gif owner!

Paul Atreides was undoubtly the prettiest man you have ever seen.

And after stumbling upon a book on what ancient civilizations considered art,you were even more convinced he was god´s most wonderful creation.

When he pants on top of you while fiercifully thrusting into your soaked slit,his black curls clinging to his pale skin with a sheer of sweat;a beautiful contrast with his dark hair and white skin.

The sounds leaving the back of his throat are a sweet melody to your ears; the gutural grunts,the ocasional moan,the pants of your name,the filthy things he whispers in your ears.

You were fully convinced paul was the most beautiful work of art youve ever seen,he was ethereal,every trace of his was brushstroke,you lost yourself staring into the honey galaxies of his eyes.

"What are you thinking about that is more important than my cock inside you right now?"

His dirty question gets you out of your head;a long whimper scaped you at how dirty his words were,you tried your best to focus on answering his question,but between his cocktip brushing your sweet spot so deliciously,the force of his hips meeting yours,and the sinful noises that filled the room,all you could do in response was moan and whine.

He lowers his head to your neck,sucking and biting the sensitive pristine skin;you shiver at the thought of being marked by his beautiful lips,having him set a clam on you.

"Answer me" he asks in a grave tone,a shiver rippling through you bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

"You´re beautiful!" you blabber out in a high pitched moan,not even realizing how desperate you sound or how you´re not making any sense to him right now "you´re beautiful! fuck paul,you´re so beautiful"

To say that was not what Pauls was expecting to hear was an understatement,he knew you appreciated his looks;it was clear with your lingering touches on him or how youd be amazedly watching him while he did the most mundane of tasks,but not that you liked it enough to declare it so devotedely while he was deep inside you.

He knew your body better than anyone else,and he could sense you were on the brink of an orgasm,his hand reached down rubbing sensual circles around your clit,not once slowing down his thrusts.

You unravel around him yelping and crying out as your release washed over you,your eyes shut feeling the moment where you and him become one.

A few more faltered thrusts into your now even tighter pussy,and paul was cumming inside you with a string of profanities leaving his mouth accompanied with your name.

You both stare at each for what feels like forever,breathing deeply while coming down from your highs.

Paul was a completely different person once the sexual aact was over,the kiss he pressed on your lips right now was not desperate and hurried,it was calm,soft,he treated you like the wind blow you away into a pile of sand.

He slips out of you carefully,making sure youre okay,carefully enveloping you in his arms and throwing a blanket around both their naked bodies;a confortable silence falls into the room as thetwo of you cuddle,paul lovingly stroking your arms,ocasionally kissing whatever naked skin he could get his lips on.

"You really think i´m that good looking?" he asks with the memory of you moaning out how beautiful he was mid sex stuck in his mind.

In your post orgasm clarity your mind goes back to the beautiful paintings you found on the ancient book,the delicacy of the lines,the softness of the colors and beautiful tragedies behind every piece. The sudden desire to once again tell paul how beautiful he is and make sure to know your ancient knowledge with him are overwhelming.

You sit up in the bed looking up at his face,a smile immediately meeting your lips as you look at him and decide to ask:

"Have you ever heard of Michelangelo?"

[ladybirdswritings]

sweet thing - dbf!joel miller x reader

Summary: Your life is in disarray. Your father is overbearing, your boyfriend is unkind— and blooming into adulthood is just about the most difficult season you’ve braved. Things only become more complex when feelings begin to develop between you and an old friend of your fathers. DBF!Joel Miller (dad’s best friend). Alternate universe as well, there is NO APOCALYPSE.

Notes: Girl I have been radio silent but this picture awoke me from my slumber because oh my God??? Look at this beautiful, haunted man. Pls enjoy the ideas that came from this still. Idk how well this will do but if u guys enjoy, lmk (I LOVE comments / interactions) and I will add to it <3

A03 | masterlist

sweet thing…

Your father did the best he could. You knew that very well. Charlie was a man respected and adored by his humble community. A hard working father turned single parent when your mom fell ill and god— you were his little flower. His sweet thing. His angel.

Flowers are fragile, though. Gentle, moldable petals and stiff, snappable stems.

It is why he kept you so close to him, so prized like painted porcelain just ready to crack.

It is why you were here. Here at Jackson’s golden hued dance with more powdered, jam-filled pastries and red, roasted meats then you could count on one hand. Here. Instead of the alternative option which was the party your boyfriend decided to attend without you.

You got the invite, sure, yet even as a legal adult— what daddy says? Goes. So long as you remain under his roof, at least. It was infuriating, though. The freedom of all your dear friends, the spontaneity. If only that could be you…

Your eyes drifted to the moustached sponge of all fun and joy in the world, wrapped in a flannel with bourbon in hand. Your dad was seated next to Joel, as he often was. His presence was a newfound thing for these recent years and though Joel would never say it, you had an inkling that he wanted to stand by his friend’s side after your mother… well.

You didn’t know Joel well. No, not at all. His visits were always the occasional dinner or drop in for fishing or some awfully manly thing. You knew well that your mother adored him, though— so that was enough to make him alright in your book.

Neighbor Betsy told you once that Joel had lost his wife and daughter too, and that maybe he was trying to keep your father from going through what he went through alone.

You only laughed at that.

Joel Miller was gruff and cold. Could he have such a warm heart beneath his sherpa coat?

You dazed out, the fingers snapping in front of your eyes made you blink back into the golden hues and roasted sausages on pointy little sticks.

“You alright, honeybee?” Your father asked, laying a heavy arm upon your shoulders. Joel was slower in his approach, eyeing you up and down with confusion and something else in his eyes.

“Peachy.” You only muttered, taking a sip of your freshly squeezed lemonade. Jackson’s finest.

“Oh come on now angel… now you know I can’t have you runnin’ off with that boyfriend of yours. I always told you he was trouble. Member’ when he ditched you down by Church Road during mosquito season? Well you were ripe as a red tomater and who had to pick you up?”

You were riper, redder now. Your cheeks an embarrassed hue not even on the color wheel, not even identifiable. You bowed your head, huffing out your frustrations before simply muttering: “you did, dad.”

He nodded proud, squeezing your shoulder. “That’s right, I did… what?”

Your eyes drifted up to see your father’s oldest friend with an odd kind of expression on his face. Brows pinched and raised, wrinkles plaguing his forehead deeper now.

Joel only cleared his throat, shifting on his boots and taking a sip of his bourbon in preparation. Then? He spoke.

“You ain’t lettin’ her be.” He gruffly offered, eyes set and sure. Your father only stilled for a moment, wondering if it was even Joel’s place to have an opinion… maybe it was.

“Why’s that?” He asked Joel, and the rough looking man only took another swig.

“Mm. We were both young once. We both made mistakes, y’gotta let her make her own— can’t hide her from em’. Just ain’t how it works.”

Poppies blossomed like springtime had finally begun in your eyes. Finally— someone understood. You didn’t expect him to be so… wise?

Your father only huffed, taking a long glance your way as he mused.

“Even if I wanted to loosen the leash tonight, Joel, I can’t. Maria needs me here to keep an eye on crazy old Arthur.”

Joel’s brows relaxed at that, a purpled hand running along the zipper of his flannel coat. His eyes were a chocolate kind of brown, dark and quietly encasing his thoughts within them.

He hummed, gaze drifting back to you.

You wanted to shrink. Perhaps it was because you were on the spot, perhaps it was because the way he stared would make anyone feel small.

It seemed like centuries before he cleared his throat again.

“I’ll take her.”

What?

You didn’t understand it, not one bit. Why was he kind enough to offer you an out here? Kind enough to test your father’s words.

Discomfort radiated through your father’s coat, tension molding its way into his already stiff bones. A long sigh, a glance back and forth as he truly considered. His expression was far too plagued with worry, and you knew well that it was now or never.

You had to slam down the last nail in the oak wood coffin.

“Please, daddy? I’ll check in every half hour, I promise.”

Tension eased, slightly but— still. Your eyes were doe-like and sweet, and he gazed into them for a moment far too long before allowing his arm to drop.

“Every fifteen minutes and you’ve got a deal. Miller, you make sure my daughter gets in and out of that bastard’s house safely.”

Joel only nodded once, jaw tense and expression stoic. Your grin was wider than a field of flowers, and you immediately wrapped your father in a hug. Your thank yous seemed endless, and it made him laugh.

When you parted, Joel had keys grasped in his rough hands. You realized for a moment that you had no idea why he was doing this. What did he owe you? Maybe it was pity. You were half an orphan, after all.

With a cautious glance, your eyes met his own. He nodded once as if to urge you closer, and you stumbled his way. Before you knew it? You were out the door, trailing behind him like his shadow.

Of all the people who cared enough to convince your father to let you go to this party tonight? Joel Miller was the last person you expected it to be…

¿to be continued?

[dewdropdinosaur]

Redemption is Best Served Hot

LUCIFER x READER Part Two Summary: You are like the mom Charlie always wanted. And like the partner Lucifer wishes he had. Warnings: NONE. REQUESTS ARE OPEN! See pinned post for details

In the bustling underworld of Hell, where chaos and mayhem were the order of the day, there stood a peculiar establishment known as the Hazbin Hotel. Run by the optimistic and determined demon princess, Charlie, the hotel aimed to rehabilitate wayward souls and give them a chance at Heaven. 

You, an older demon, found yourself entangled in the unique tapestry of the Hazbin Hotel. Drawn to Charlie's mission and warmth, you had become an essential part of the hotel's daily operations. As the pseudo-mother to Charlie and the other inhabitants, Y/N provided a sense of stability and care in the tumultuous underworld. A pillar of support for the lost souls seeking refuge within the hotel's walls, helping with the cleaning, aiding anyone with anything; you were in fact quite literally acting mother to all six inhabitants. Not that they minded, each loved you in their own way. Even Alastor, who would not admit it to himself that maybe your cooking could have rivaled his own mother’s.

“Nifty darling, here. Don’t run around with that old knife. This one is much sharper.” “Oooooo, thank you! BUGS PREPARE TO DIE!”

“Angel, poor thing. Come here, let me draw you a bath and we can talk all about it….or we can just sit in silence. Whatever you would like.” “Yeah…that woulds be good.” 

“The new shipment just arrived, Husk! Do you want me to help you carry it in?” “Nah, I got it. But thanks.”

“PENTIOUS! What did I say about letting the Egg Bois into my kitchen?!”  “Sssssory Mssss Y/N.”  “It’s alright dear, just…please be more mindful of them. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“Vaggie, no you may not kill Alastor.” “But..!” “No buts! You will respect Charlie’s wishes. And that goes for you too, Alastor.” “Oh me? Darling, it would be a pleasure to do as her highness commands.” 

And so on and so forth as the world goes. 

Over the years, Lucifer, the charismatic and charming ruler of Hell, found himself increasingly drawn to you after the original spout with Heaven. It wasn't just your unparalleled dedication to the hotel or the unwavering support you offered to Charlie; it was a magnetic force that pulled him towards you. Lucifer, accustomed to the chaos and seduction that surrounded him, found the calm demeanor and genuine kindness irresistible. In the dimly lit chambers of the hotel, Lucifer found himself captivated by your unwavering dedication and boundless compassion. He admired the way you effortlessly navigated the tumultuous currents of Hell, offering solace to those who had long abandoned hope. 

One evening, as the residents of the Hazbin Hotel gathered for a makeshift family dinner, Lucifer couldn't help but steal glances at you throughout. Laughter echoed through the room, bringing an unusual warmth to the usually cold and unforgiving realm. Lucifer found himself captivated by the way you effortlessly connected with the diverse souls seeking salvation and he felt his heart twinge a little. The scene was sweet, almost too much so. It made him long for something he had never had with Lillith or thought he could ever have. He hardly touched his food all night, too enthralled with you and your presence. You were like an angel, ironically so. 

After the meal and asking the Egg Bois to clean up(they were kind enough to oblige), you retreated to the hotel's back rooms with a book in hand, a haven of peace in the chaotic underworld. Lucifer followed, the air thick with an unspoken tension. You, engrossed in a book, hadn't bothered to notice the King of Hell until he cleared his throat. With a small flush of embarrassment at accidentally ignoring him, you looked up and met Lucifer's piercing gaze with a soft smile, setting your book aside. 

“What can I do for you Lucifer?”

"Quite the family you've built here," Lucifer commented, his voice a silky blend of charm and authority.

Smiling and setting the book aside, you laughed softly. "They're a unique bunch, but they deserve a chance at redemption, don't they?"

Lucifer nodded, taking a step closer. "And what about you, Y/N?” 

Your gaze met Lucifer's, eyes reflecting a depth of understanding about the true meaning of his question. "We're all seeking something, aren't we? Redemption, forgiveness, a second chance."

Lucifer reached out, gently tracing a finger along Y/N's cheek. "And what do you seek, Y/N?"

Your  heart fluttered, and as you took a deep breath you held his gaze. Oh how he loved that dazed look in your eyes. He wanted you to look up at him that way everyday if possible. Just the way your sparkling and your lips parted so sinfully sweet, he knew even the original sin barrer himself could be tempted. "I seek a chance to make a difference, to maybe bring a little of Heaven down here when I could never do it when I was alive."

Lucifer leaned in, his lips dangerously close to your ear. "Perhaps you've already brought light to the darkest corner of my realm."

Lucifer then pulled away, a small flush gracing his cheeks. He tipped his hat in acknowledgement before leaving the room without another word. Once outside the door, Lucifer pressed back up against a wall and could feel his undead heart about to beat out of his chest. Placing a hand over his chest in order to calm himself back down, the King of Hell flew back to his castle with a giant grin on his face. 

You too were no stranger to the effects of his…flirting. A giant grin and flush appeared on your face as you sunk back down into the chair you were sitting in. Giggling like a schoolgirl, you kicked your feet happily and ignored the book you were once reading. 

A forbidden connection sparked between Lucifer and you, a dance of redemption and desire in the heart of Hell, where the Hazbin Hotel stood as an peculiar beacon of hope. For in the heart of Lucifer Morningstar, amidst the chaos of Hell's domain, love had found its most unlikely champion.

[sorcerersandskillusers]

Card Meanings in the new, The Day I Picked Up Dazai art.

Ok so im currently still in shock that were getting new day I picked up dazai content so bare with me, but onece again Asagiri has included playing cards in his art so of course I have to break down what they mean.

Lets start with side A (the right side):

First we see a joker:

While Gogol is the obvious fit for the joker, the card also describes Dazai extremely well. He is almost always acting like the fool in any given situation, even in the mafia he loved to be as weird and funny as he could as well as tease and annoy the people around him, something jesters famously did.

In fact, his dynamic with Mori is very close to how a king and a jester used to work, where the jester was the only person who was allowed to openly mock the king and would usually heckle him. They also played a key part in psychological warfare, which we see Dazai specialises in.

I think the whole; wit, intelligence and unpredictability kind of speaks for itself.

Next card is the four of spades:

This one is also really fitting, it shows how after the day I picked up Dazai side A, Dazai settles into his little routine of going to bar lupin with Oda as well as how he finally has someone who he can trust and be comfortable around. Finally, it is a clear message of optimism, something Dazai never shows before he meets Oda.

Next the two of hearts:

This one is pretty obvious, it's Dazai and Oda spending time at bar lupin. It actually fits so well, there's not much I can say about it other then how it shows the love and care Dazai and Oda had for each other (platonically)

Now for Side B (prepare to cry)

The first card is the three of spades:

Whyyyyyyyyyy... why Asagiri. This one is also fairly obvious but it has multiple meanings. It most clearly represents Dazai suffering in side B as he has to run the mafia without odasaku and live in utter loneliness while destroying all the connections he never got to have for the sake of a friend he never got to meet.

“It was hard,” muttered the young man. “It was really hard fighting Mimic without you in the organization. I had no choice but to take over for Mori and make enemies of everyone around me to expand the business. Everything I did was for this world’s—”

It also represents the moment on the platform where he nearly tells Odasaku the truth and goes with him to bar lupin, the horrible decision to abandon everything for Odas future

The next card is... the ace of spades:

The ace of spade has many meanings, most of which involve change or transition, but by far its most famous meaning it death. I really don't think I have to explain this one, Beast Dazai having the card of death has a pretty clear meaning.

But the ace of spade does have a secondary meaning, and this one is a little more hopeful, as it shows Dazai passing the safety of this world onto Atsushi and Auktagawa.

Finally, (it's a bit hard to see) we have the ten of diamonds:

I want to focus mostly on the highlighted part because it's what really applies to BEAST Dazai, he lived his whole life to create a world where what matters most to him, that Oda gets to be happy and write his books, becomes real. This card doesn't apply to Dazai directly, more to the fact that he made succeeding in his mission his only priority and discarded everything else.

Bonus round Odasku card; the king of clubs

the only card thats seen on Oda's section and one that clearly represents Odasaku as a character.

"King of clubs represents a dark man, who is loyal and kind. He is a good businessman, shrewd with money and investments, but isn’t selfish. In fact, the King of clubs is a very devoted father, husband and citizen. In a broader sense, the King of clubs encompasses idealized qualities of a fatherly figure. This card is universally considered as a very good omen."

I feel like this sums Odasaku up very well, the devoted father and loyal friend parts are just him to a t.

(this is also the card I think best represents Fukuzawa)

Right, I think I got everything, if you disagree with this or find something I missed, please reblog or comment with whatever you want to add, or send me an ask. I love discussing, and hearing other people's views as long as they're respectful.

If you add something, please add it in the post not the tags, so I can reply to it (or in the tags if that makes you more comfortable)

[ssahotchnerr]

so this is kind of heartbreaking but it's so 🥺🥺 at the same time, here it goes:

As a kid - and even now tbh - i used to have nightmares 24/7 for no apparent reason and I can't stop thinking like what if ellie had that? Like she sleeps in her little bed but always wakes up crying because of her nightmares 🥺🥺

At first you and Aaron have no idea what to do but comfort her and let her sleep in your bed for as long as she wants, saying it's a small phase and it'll pass (since maybe you or Jack or even Aaron had it when you were kids) but it just doesn't

He'd be so worried 🥺 taking his baby girl to every doctor he could find, asking Reid all about it and taking notes (literal notes, pen paper notes 😭) and trying everything

But the only thing that helps is holding her until she stops crying 🥺

My heart is broken but the thought is out 😃

omg 🥺

at first, you and aaron think it's just one of her famous excuses to sleep in your bed - due to her past history - but very soon it becomes very clear that's not the case 🥺 like ellie will already be sleeping in your bed, a nightmare wakes her up, and she's nearly inconsolable. she scrambles on top of aaron and clings onto him for dear life, and it then takes her ages to fall back asleep afterwards 😭

but yeah, you both think it'll run it's course and be over soon; jack had bad nightmares for a while - after foyet :( but those dreams at least had a clear reason as to why they were occurring. but for ellie?? you can't seem to figure out the reasoning at all. even asking her about them makes her super upset :(

and she's just soo exhausted some days due to the lack of sleep she's getting. she's more grumpy throughout the day - which is soo unlike her since she's the happiest little girl there ever was 🥺 has meltdowns over the tiniest things, falls asleep amidst playing with her toys. you peer into the playroom one day, and ellie's zonked out on the carpet in front of her dollhouse :( <3 plus she's so much more clinger than usual - she's either glued to aaron's or your side, and wants to do everything with you.

and aaron 🥺 worried is an understatement. he stays awake at night anticipating her waking up in terror, and he feels sooo incredibly guilty when he's away. he barely gets sleep those nights; knowing back home, ellie is going to be waking up all afraid and there's quite literally nothing he can do about it. and the fact he's the one who gets her to calm down when he's home too :( he fully knows you can manage without him of course, but he still feels like he's letting her down :( just the fact that the nightmares are simply continuing make him feel as if he's letting her down :( he wishes more than anything he could just take them away from her, resolve them, so his ellie bellie can be her happy, rested self again 🥺

the two of you are seeking out all the advice/help possible. you talk to numerous doctors, specialists, the team (more so reid), and try alternating ellie's daily routine. she doesn't watch the same shows, read the same books, maybe switch up her diet, in attempt to find what the trigger may be. in addition, you really try to relax her before bed: a warm bath, warm milk, cuddles, a nightlight, putting on soft music/a sound machine to fall asleep to. 🥺 just trying anything in order for her nightmares to stop :(

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Miss Raven! I was reading your opinions about Leona and wanted to ask you, do you think Leona would be a better king than Falena?

[Referencing this post!]

Put simply, no--but not for the reasons you're probably thinking. Hey now, hold on! Put down your pitchforks and torches! Please at least hear what I have to say and consider it.

It's not that I think that Leona is incompetent or that I think Falena is sufficient as a king. It's that ruling (especially as a monarch that has a LOT of power and control) is very nuanced and to say that one person would be "better" than another is grossly glossing over all that goes into governance.

This post gets quite long, so I've placed all my thoughts under the cut. Again, I ask that you read the whole post before commenting.

First of all, the baseline we're comparing to is Falena so let's review what we know about him that's relevant to this discussion. Leona describes Falena as someone who has a "carefree attitude". Because of this, Leona worries that Falena will "run [their] kingdom into the ground." Now something I want to make clear: "[running their] kingdom into the ground" is very harsh wording used ONLY in EN. In JP, Leona is much more casual with his phrasing. He simply expresses that he is "worried about the country's future", not that he thinks Falena will ruin it:

In the book 2 post-OB flashback sequence, Leona implies that his older brother can sing and nap but still be guaranteed the crown because of Falena being first-born. Falena is noted as holding a ceremony in honor of his son's birth; he had commissioned for a fountain to be built (even though water is a scarce resource in their land) and unveiled in their capital—an occasion which Leona skipped. He refers to the ceremony as a "self-indulgent party where you show off your son to the people." This characterizes Falena as a jovial and excessive person who doesn't think too deeply about policies. Another example of this comes from Leona's Birthday Boy vignettes, in which Falena sends his younger brother an expensive rug. "In the time he spends sending me gifts I don't even want, he could be sending rugs to neighboring lands and bolstering our foreign relations," Leona says. "Of course, the thought never even crosses his mind." One of the Sunset Savnna’s driving philosophies is “hakuna matata”, which, as Leona describes it, means, “don’t think too hard about things”. And indeed, if Falena is anything like how Leona says he is, then he is the walking embodiment of their country and their beliefs.

One major issue that is unique to their homeland is that of unification. The Sunset Savanna boasts many different kinds of beastmen, each with their own customs and cultures--and because of that, these beastmen tend to live in settlements of just their own kind and don't always get along or see eye-to-eye with others. For example, it is said that very few bird beastmen reside in the capital city and Ruggie has implied that hyenas are low in the social hierarchy. Kifaji, the grand chamberlain, confides that the acting king Falena has struggled with this unification. The Kingscholars' father has communicated that he would like for nothing more than Leona to lend his assistance to Falena for this endeavor. (Keep this in mind, as I will be touching upon this again later!)

What I think many people tend to overlook when it comes to Falena's rule is that he has not been in power for a long time. According to Tamashina Mina, Falena has only been running the country for "the last few years", which is NOT that long. Falena has not even had that much experience as the official head of state to begin with--and yeah, you could argue that he has been preparing his whole life to eventually become the ruler, training for it and actually doing it are very different beasts. No amount of tutoring will prepare you for having the weight of an entire nation suddenly on your shoulders. I would also argue that anyone that is new to a job won't do the best right away and that experience is the best teacher. Falena is likely still learning while on the job and trying to do his best while also juggling being a parent and husband, trying to reach across the aisle to his estranged younger brother, and looking after his ill father.

This leads me to another point: a lot of what we hear about Falena is coming from Leona's perspective, which is very biased (especially in the post-OB flashback, as this was when Leona was at his most bitter). We should be aware of this while taking in the information Leona is offering. I don't doubt that Leona's telling the truth about how his brother is carefree or the things his brother has done, but at the same time we need to realize that this is a limited view of Falena. It's not the whole picture of who he is. Leona tends to focus on his brother's shortcomings and downfalls--but thinking about it, what are Falena's strengths?

Well, one of them is definitely that Falena is friendly, kind-hearted, and honest. Even Leona confesses to this. However, he frames these traits in a negative way, stating that "[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom's affairs--you know, his JOB--but nooo, he's gotta be the caring big brother who's nice to everybody," and, of his honesty, "he just makes things harder for himself." Falena also seems to be positive and insightful--admirable qualities in a leader. When Leona speaks rudely to him, Falena tries to reassure his little brother: "You may never become king, but you are still wise. There is much you could do for this country." He even pursues Leona when he leaves, trying to get his little brother to see reason. Falena sees the potential in Leona and he wants Leona to realize that potential too. If you look at this another way, this personality can be a boon. It could make it easier for Falena to smooth over tensions and get other political figures to open up to him, similar to how Kalim’s empathy helps to uplift and support his dorm mates and how those dorm mates in return give him their loyalty.

Finally, we know that Falena is cognizant of the culture and the values of the Sunset Savanna and likely works in accordance with those. If we revisit Tamashina Mina, Leona talks at length about how some areas of the country are so underdeveloped that its people are still drinking rainwater or from wells. He laments the situation and says that if only they improved their infrastructure and mined the valuable ore their country has, the people would be able to live better lives. Leona here leans pro-industrialization. From the lack of industrialization we see in large parts of the country, we can assume that Falena does not have this same stance. Rather, Falena understands that the people of the Sunset Savanna cherish living in harmony with nature and want to honor their animal ancestors by living in a way that is sustainable He KNOWS that their people would be against industrialization, and so he favors slower development (Sunrise City being one of these metropolises that developed under the rule of their father) and in ways which preserve nature. As Lilia puts it, “Developing is easy. You just throw money at it. But building a city like this, while still preserving nature? That’s the real challenge, I’d say.” (That was a very quick summary but if you're interested in reading more about this topic specifically, I'd recommend this post!)

Falena cares about tradition and upholding it, and there isn’t inherently an issue with that. He values where he comes from and the practices that come with that. That’s why Falena gets upset with Leona for not doing his duties and skipping out on important meetings. It’s not purely that Falena sees these acts as disrespectful (although let’s be clear, it is disrespectful), but it also comes with the sadness of knowing that his younger brother doesn’t see the value in the same things he does—yet he still understands that Leona has his own strengths that be brings to the table.

You can see how this could translate into his ruling style too, even if it is not explicitly stated in the game. Falena is someone who is easy to approach with your problems (let's assume that this is the case both for his own people and for diplomats of other countries). He is someone who cares about tending to everyone, which would make him popular with the public--but that means he may spread himself or their resources too thin. Falena is also for slower progress in order to respect the ways of their culture and their people's values. He sees value in hearing others out and working in teams, even pleads with Leona to join his bureaucracy. But the point is, Falena cares, and all Leona sees in that is a bleeding heart since it doesn't produce what Leona thinks are good results.

And speaking of Leona, it's about time we get to him. What are his qualifications in a situation where he was king? What would his ruling style be like, and who would it serve his country?

Firstly, it's worthwhile to compare Leona's thinking to Falena's. Unlike his older brother, Leona is proactive--he plans ahead and considers the political power in something as simple as gifting an item. Many of the ideas he proposes for bettering his country are things that Falena either never thought of (ie gifting the rug to another country instead of to him; Falena sees spelldrive/magift as a national sport but Leona thinks they can drive up tourism with an elite team for the world league) or would refuse to implement out of principle (speedrunning mining operations). However, it's undeniable that Leona's methods would produce results. As he demonstrates to us with his shady tactics in books 2 and 3, it does not matter to Leona what he has to do in order to achieve what he desires. His eyes are set on the goal, not on how he gets there (though he will plan the steps out meticulously as well). He's willing to tear up the environment if it means enriching the Sunset Savanna's economy and providing clean, consistent drinking water for the citizens. It's ultimately gains, but it jeopardizes maintaining harmony with nature. This would earn him genuine ire from his people (and honestly, disliking someone for blatantly disregarding your beliefs is valid; it's not blindly being petty or hating Leona for being the "lowly second born"). But!! Leona as of book 7 says he is going to intern at a mining and energy lab in his home country. This implies that he is willing to learn about the field and may use that knowledge to enact sustainable change. This is a really good start to his development and growth into a wise leader.

The brothers' personalities are also not alike at all. Leona is... admittedly far more abrasive that Falena. I'm not saying that Leona would behave so rudely to politicians or on a global stage (please, the man has more tact than that), but he would carry himself very differently than Falena. Leona can be polite and speak fancily all he wants, but he still does not have that same approachable warmth to him. Something else we should consider is that... well, Leona doesn't like stuffy occasions or putting on airs, which would basically be expected of him as king. We don't know for sure how he would act if the circumstances ask that he be cordial and yet the man himself detests such a thing. He could play the part if needed, sure. But for how long before he becomes annoyed or tired of it? Leona can also be arrogant and demanding. Do you think he would skip/sleep through meetings with advisors he deems irrelevant or unproductive? (Recall how he skips ceremonies and traditions he deems unimportant or boring, like the celebration of Cheka’s birth and tries to cheat his way out of his responsibilities as Captain of the Sunset Warriors. He also skips classes, deeming school largely unnecessary for him because he thinks he already knows everything.) How do you think he'd act with people who oppose him? Would he defy traditions? He also disregards the “hakuna matata” mantra and cynically labels it “self-serving”. I could see how tensions could rise as a result. (Reminder that I'm not saying it's for CERTAIN that Leona would do these things, I'm just posing possibilities based on what I understand of his character and whether you believe Leona would act like this or not is up to you.) Leona is 10 years younger than Falena and has never formally served in a governmental position. This means that he, too, lacks the political experience to be king. Some would say that where Leona makes up for this is in life experiences. He has been downtrodden and defeated, mingled among the common folk, etc. This means Leona is better equipped to understand the plight of his people, they argue. And I can see where people are coming from--but personally, I think Leona still lacks what he needs to be a "better" ruler. Yes, Leona has lived "out there", but the fact remains that Falena still has 10 years on him. What's more is that Leona has not actually strayed that far from his privileged life. He's dorm leader (a position of power within NRC), attends an elite magic school, and constantly has Ruggie taking care of him. I don't think this really prepares him to rule a whole country.

That's a good segway into Leona and his leadership. As I've mentioned before, Falena is having trouble with enacting national policies to unite all beastmen. Leona does not appear to have the same issue, as even though there is a variety of beastmen within Savanaclaw, they all defer to Leona the same. Therefore, Leona, as king, could easily resolve this problem in the Sunset Savanna--so the theory goes. As for me, well... In my opinion, I do think it's a show of skill that Leona can get many different beastmen rallying under his flag but I don't think this generalizes to (again) the scale of an entire nation. Not only do we have to account for WAY more people, but also people of demographics that differ wildly from Savanaclaw. The mobs under Leona follow him, yes--but thinking about it, they're all VERY similar demographics-wise. They're roughly the same age, all male, all students, and have the same goals in mind (for book 2, it was to be noticed by talent scouts). I would bet that most of them are from middle class or upper-class incomes too. Now expand the scope to a country. Do you think Leona could appeal to young and old? Male and female? Rich and poor? People of all occupations? What about parents? There are so many other factors to account for, so I don't think it's fair to generalize Leona leading a dorm of maybe 85ish (this is just a guess; NRC has ~800 total students, 600 are on-campus and split across 7 dorms so this assumes equal splitting) to a diverse kingdom of thousands. We also have to consider that the rules that govern NRC don’t translate to the real world. At NRC, power and individualism is what is valued—both of which Leona has in spades. Are those same things valued in his kingdom? No, be is feared for his power and can’t realistically accomplish the things he wants to on his own.

I want to point out another glaring weakness of Leona's: because of his pride, he has trouble sharing power. While Falena is okay with working with others, Leona hates to be challenged. He doesn't have a vice dorm leader because he doesn't want to butt heads with someone else about how to rule. He shuts down Epel, who asks him about strength training and tells him to focus on speed instead, because that's what Leona sees as Epel's best asset. He scoffs at the idea of listening to individual complaints and thinks there would be a more efficient way of handling them. Leona generally lacks his brother's empathy and would rather maximize efficiency by allowing himself to be the only one calling the shots. We get a glimpse of Leona relinquishing his power as dorm leader to Ruggie in book 6, but that's only because Leona physically cannot be present to rule. This could be an exception, or just the first step in Leona shifting to adapt to working in a team.

If Falena were to abdicate the throne to Leona right this second, no, I don't think Leona would be fit to be king. Leona's ideas seem "good" on a surface level, but that's ignoring the long-term impacts and his less-than-stellar personality quirks. He has a ton that he has to learn before he can comfortably govern. At the same time, Falena isn't exactly a perfect ruler either. He, too, lacks experience and can be short-sighted and naive in spite of his good intentions and willingness to hear everyone out.

In an AU where Leona was actually the crown prince (and thus never got talked down to or treated like the “lesser” second born), maybe things would be different. But then that creates the same issue with Falena (now the scorned younger prince) being the "Leona" of the AU.

Each Kingscholar brother has his own strengths and weaknesses, perspectives, and leadership styles. THIS DOES NOT MAKE ONE SUPERIOR OR "BETTER" THAN THE OTHER. Instead, they make up for one another's deficits or flaws, creating a more well-rounded and unified view. This is, perhaps, why both Falena and their father want Leona to step in and help with ruling the country. I think they all see the benefit that Leona could provide and that they value his thoughts.

The "best" situation for the Sunset Savanna, in my opinion, would be Leona and Falena working together to see the country's future through. It does not have to be in the capacity of king and advisor; titles do not matter here. What is most important is that Leona and Falena can meet on neutral grounds and agree to put their all into improving the Sunset Savanna.

[bonefall]

Mapleshade Discourse O'Clock

It's that time again!!! SO I just kinda want to jot down all of my various thoughts about it as a story and just generally weigh in about Mapleshade.

I like the idea of Mapleshade more than the actual Mapleshade that is used throughout the books.

She has a really good gimmick-- to haunt Applekin though the generations. I don't like how they turn her into a generic "cat satan" for Tigerclaw's Fury and keep making her appear as a vain lackey demon.

I like her characterization in Mapleshade's Vengeance the most, of all her appearances.

But, I don't think my reading of the character depicted in MV is what the author intended.

See, I like MV as a story with no hero. The only blameless characters are the kittens who drowned and Perchpaw, while everyone else is some flavor of selfish, cruel, or vengeful. Everyone thinks they're in the right, but no one truly wins in the end.

Nothing about it was noble. Every tragedy that happened was utterly avoidable. In the end, everyone bears some responsibility for the pain and suffering that happened the day those children drowned.

BUT I'm pretty certain that the intended reading was that Mapleshade would be the one clearly in the wrong the whole time, as she justifies her own actions like a villain does.

Especially knowing how poorly the writers thought of similar female characters like Squilf and Leafp lying about the three, or Nightcloud being jealous her crummy husband is acting strange around another woman.

I feel justified in assuming that when Mapleshade is not happy she's being cheated on, or when she refuses to correct Frecklewish's record knowing it's unsafe if her kits are revealed as half clan, the writer really does think you're not supposed to take her side.

Because women should just not have emotions about being cheated on or something, and lying is unspeakably bad even if the truth puts you and your children in danger.

But. Y'know. We can all use the braincell for a moment and see that this is fucking stupid

SO when the book goes on to have Mapleshade ignore all the warnings about the swollen river, show both ThunderClan and RiverClan being obscenely cruel to her, and then walk across that bridge while insisting in her head that the deaths weren't her fault, I think the implication is obvious AND SHITTY.

Ergo I reject it completely. I can see what the book wants to say, and I think it says something trashy.

In spite of how badly the writer wants it to be Mapleshade's fault the kittens died, I say it was the asshole who threw a bunch of kittens out into the rain for being mixed race, actually.

Oakstar had the power here. Ravenwing had some power as well, but he makes it clear it wasn't his suggestion to throw the babies out into the woods.

And when it comes to Bridge Discourse, it was at least the afternoon, raining heavily, and Mapleshade was trying to get to RiverClan Camp. A straight shot across the stepping stones.

I think it is ridiculous to imagine an extremely emotional parent managing three very scared children, attempting to get out of the rain and dangerous wilderness before nightfall, would be rational enough to realize a large detour would be safer.

MAYBE the distance from ThunderClan Camp to the Bridge is equal to the distance to the Stones. But the distance between the bridge and RIVERCLAN Camp is longer.

I hope this goes without saying; but Frecklewish didn't deserve the Dark Forest.

Even in Banana World logic where she was sitting on the bank watching those kids doggy-paddle. Do not fucking jump in to save drowning people if you are not trained to do that.

I'm dead serious, this is the first thing you learn in any kind of water safety course. They WILL panic, you WILL get dragged down, you WILL become another liability someone else has to save instead of helping your initial target.

And that isn't even mentioning this being a flooded river. That's POOL safety.

In spite of how I think Mapleshade was right to lie, I do think Frecklewish being that upset and angry was understandable.

You're entitled to your feelings, but not how you treat people. She still attacked Mapleshade and called the kittens a slur.

That's what makes her interesting, though.

I don't think she deserves the Dark Forest, but Frecklewish's anger is an interesting trait. I don't like how a lot of defensive interpretations of her character end up downplaying how she acted at the exile

why does a woman being rightfully angry suddenly strike people as "unsympathetic." Girls can also say things in fury they don't fully mean. OR girls can rationalize their unjustified, ballistic response post-hoc out of pride.

Idk let girls be mad. Admit they were wrong without deserving HELL. I don't like the woobification impulse.

It's not really a hot take anymore I think, but Frecklewish is definitely only in the DF because the writing team judges women characters more harshly. Oakstar threw babies out in the rain in fury, and Ravenwing didn't stop it. But somehow only Frecklewish, a normal warrior, gets DF'd.

But what really rattles around in my head about the whole story is the way that the in-universe culture is able to suddenly value ethics like peace, forgiveness, and tolerance when MAPLESHADE is ready to throw those things out, but BEFORE then, it's well established that Clan culture is violent, vengeful, and intolerant.

One of our earliest scenes is Rainfall snarling at Mapleshade that he loves the way Birchface and Flowerpaw drowned. He's threatening that he'll kill even more ThunderClan warriors.

Over in ThunderClan, everyone is itching for revenge against Appledusk for those deaths, even though it seems to have been an accident. Oakstar even hates RiverClan well into sequel books for this.

But then later on, everyone acts Shocked Pikachu that Mapleshade actually went and GOT revenge.

And like, let's be real. This is a battle culture. Yes, by OUR standards Revenge Is Bad.

But in these books, so full of war and clan conflict...?

What I'm saying is that I wish the books let Mapleshade be a little more "controversial" in-universe. Like some cats actually frame the story very differently, and you can learn a lot about a person by who they think the hero is.

And how RiverClan responds to the drowned kids bugs me a lot tbh

We just established over in ThunderClan that there are people who think the babies were born filthy for being HalfClan.

We know everyone there stood by and watched as Oakstar threw them out into the rain-- only Ravenwing even seemed uncomfortable.

AND we know very well that in a few generations, TigerClan will rise. Which openly executed a HalfClan cat and wanted to kill 2 apprentices.

We KNOW the bigotry in Clan culture is deadly and unfair.

But then they go over to RiverClan and Darkstar is sad these three kids are dead? And RC is furious with Mapleshade for that?

Again, YES, you and me with OUR morals know that this bigotry is insane and spiteful. What I'm getting at is that IN-UNIVERSE half clan kittens and their parents face extreme discrimination. Even within this book.

It's odd to me that Darkstar refuses to let Mapleshade bury their bodies, sends her away for the death of the kids while saying it's "not the season for losing warriors" to Appledusk, and it's meant to come across as delusional that Maple thinks her babies were buried dishonorably

I wish more women in WC got so pissed off at the absolute injustice of it all that they went on a girl rampage. Perhaps it's my own taste, but I like it a lot more when the villain isn't entirely wrong and there's several angles you can read the story from. If she didn't do what she did, she would have been the only one who saw any consequences for anything that happened.

Anyway in conclusion uhhh idk murder is wrong. But Mapleshade's allowed to do it because she's a silly billy. Her greatest crime was not killing Oakstar also

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

The Arcana HCs: How M6 act when they're sleep deprived

Julian

What do you mean? This is his permanent state of functioning, MC, he wouldn't know who he was if he wasn't exhausted

Now give him back his coffee. He wasn't done with that

Julian's version of properly sleep deprived is akin to a normal person's version of "so close to dead they've never felt more alive"

You'll only know he's at the true edge of his exhaustion when his eyebrows reach a new height of bushiness and his pupils dilate to two tiny pinpricks of black in a sea of shaky grey

His normal eye will be so bloodshot that you'll have a hard time telling which one needs an eyepatch over it

Be prepared for the theatre kid plague doctor version of zoomies

Were you hoping to read your book quietly? Not anymore!! Allow him to spice up your story by assigning different voices to your beloved characters and loudly reading them from atop the table

Better yet, watch him vault from the table to the windowsill as he demonstrates the dashing hero's getaway!

The plot takes a turn as the book goes flying into the sink and he continues undaunted, improvising a three person fight scene with the lid off your soup pot and the fire poker

This ends when you either guilt him into bed or he crashes mid-sentence

Asra

To say that they don't take well to being sleep-deprived is an understatement. They exist in a constant state of "just rolled out of bed and will happily roll back in." Life revolves around sleeping in

He can lose an hour or two of sleep here and there. It's not even super unusual for him to accidentally stay up into the wee hours of the morning because he got stuck in a curiosity spiral

But they usually make up for it with cat naps through the next day. When that proves impossible, though -

There's no nice way to put it. He's grumpy. Irritable. His tendency to make sarcastic, cutting comments about things he doesn't like increases tenfold

Their hair gets frizzy, the annoyed wrinkles around their eyes could rival an elephant's, and their usual easygoing expression is replaced with a scowl so deeply disgusted by existence that it rivals Muriel's

He doesn't yell or snap - no, he just stumbles through the shop with his hair in his eyes and a random object in his hand (is that a half finished rendering of the Palace carved on a banana peel?)

Be prepared for them to mumble out all kinds of hilarious swear combinations as they give you their real opinion on yesterday's finnicky shop patron. They'll read her outfit to filth

Nadia

She just gets stressed and depressed

And depending on how bad the deprivation is, slightly panicked

First she gets stuck asleep for literal years. Then after waking up she can't sleep enough, thanks to headaches and nightmares. She's just so done with the discomfort of it all

She also associates you with being able to sleep in a way that is safe and restful, so you're about to become a personal stuffie

If you complain, she'll immediately apologize and leave you to go about your day. Otherwise she doesn't realize what she's doing

You're coming with her. Everywhere

She's either got your arm looped through hers, her hand holding yours, or (depending on your height) your shoulders tucked firmly into her side while she runs her fingers through your hair

She will instinctively tighten her grip on you if you squirm

If she gets too lost in thought while she tries to get her tasks out of the way, she will bodily pick you up and carry you from room to room like an animate teddy bear. You are her comfort item now

Forgets to verbalize her thoughts. The plan is so clear inside her head, no need to pause to enact it

Which is how you ended up plopped on a horse with 0 explanation

Muriel

Oh dear

His anxiety skyrockets. Sleep is his coping mechanism for an ugly world. Sleep is an escape. And now sleep is ... unavailable???

His personality slowly shifts. Is he still grumpy? Yes, but faster now. Without access to the thing that helps him feel safe, he's full of anxious energy to the point of becoming frantic

Starts obsessively doing everything he can so that sleep is possible again. Is there a lot to get done? move out of the way.

Is it insomnia? He's trying everything from filling the hut with myrrh to making an uncharacteristic march into town so he can raid the shop for remedies while Asra looks on, jaw on the floor

He'll do anything, just let him sleep

Absolutely refuses to have anything to do with alcohol to make him drowsy, though. The same goes for any type of strong sleeping enchantments, medicines, or potions

He wants to maintain control over his body

It was a strange experience to come back after a day out to find the entire hut rearranged, with a borderline manic Muriel pacing the floor and muttering to himself about "something soothing"

Apparently that was you, by the way, you were all he needed. He took one look at you, heaved a sigh of relief, and then dozed off to the sound of you puttering around

Portia

For someone who's usually so cheery and on top of things, she gets really mellow and spacey - almost childlike

You will have to repeat yourself up to five times before she's able to process your question and tell you that she moved your shoes to the closet because she needed to sweep earlier

Slow frog blinks, first one eye, and then the other

Keeps putting stuff down where it's not supposed to go and then completely forgetting about them

Why is there a wet bar of soap on her pillow. Why is there a teacup half-buried in the garden. Why is Pepi covered in flour

If the reason for her sleep deprivation is overwork, there's no chance of her getting anything more done until she's had a full eight hours of rest. She physically cannot focus enough

If the reason is just insomnia, she just gets sad. One glance at Pepi curled up into a cute little roll and snoozing in a sunbeam will lead to silent tears pouring down her cheeks and quiet sniffles

Gets so so sweet - she already is, of course, but to a whole new degree. If you bring her a cup of soothing herbal tea, she'll look at you like you're a fairy and whisper "thank you" while she cradles it

A good backrub is usually all she needs to conk out

Lucio

He values his beauty sleep and he is not happy when he doesn't get it. Do you know what it takes to maintain skin like his??

Loud and cranky but refuses to acknowledge why

He wouldn't feel this lousy just from not getting enough sleep! What are you talking about? This is clearly some kind of foul magic or sickness at work - check his temperature! Is that a fever??

He doesn't need sleep, he needs answers. Who's fault is this? Who does he need to beat up? Leave him alone!

Wait no no no he didn't mean that, don't leave him alone, MC please, he loves you, don't go (note: you haven't moved)

He knows what he needs to do. He needs to hunt down whoever or whatever is causing this misery and force them to put an end to it

It must be some kind of curse. Loud noises hurt his ears, the sun is too bright, his eyes are tired and itchy, his brain is full of fog, his whole body feels slow and heavy, this isn't right!

Maybe this is actually his cue to throw a party - no? Yeah okay, he wasn't really feeling up for one anyways

Which is clearly another symptom of the curse! MC, help him!

You'll have to change tactics and tell him that you'll only be able to help him kill the curse if he falls asleep so you can see his dreams

[ezziefae]

i thinks this new undersea book holly is planning is going to be very interesting for many reasons. Specially if jude and cardan are going to be there.

Jurdan + Undersea = trauma?

1) Jude and Cardan don’t have great memories in the undersea. Specially Jude, being imprisoned in the wicked king where she was tortured, starved, and imprisoned. Whereas Cardan had a panicked reaction when he went to the undersea with nicasia in “How The King Of Elfhame Learned To Hate Stories.” He hated going to the undersea. There’s no dancing, no falling, darkness and coldness, and there’s heavy pressure on their chest from the heavy water. Cardan literally couldn’t stay too long at the bottom of the sea before he panicked. I wonder how after all of that jurdan will be comfortable going back to the sea, and i’m 100% jude’s past imprisonment will be brought up in this book.

2) Nicasia and Cardan

As we all know, Nicasia and Cardan have a history together. They were once bethroted to each other. They were expected to marry and become king and queen of the undersea. So there’s absolutely NO WAY jude or cardan won’t bring this up somehow in this book. Cardan is literally going to witness what could’ve been his life in the undersea with Nicasia by his side, and i’m sure there will be some teasing from jude about this, or some feelings about it from her. So far, we’ve known that Cardan has a strong loyalty to Nicasia as the Queen of the Undersea. Many times since TQON and TPT Cardan said that he will defend Nicasia and her kingdom despite of all the things she’s done to him and Jude in the past. So it’s clear he very much cares for Nicasia platonically and respects their treaty deeply.

Jude and Nicasia

After 10 years from the folk of the air, we still don’t know what nicasia and jude’s relationship is like. They’ve been at odds with each other and it wasn’t until the end of TQON where they finally worked together to save Cardan and kind of had an understanding of each other. In the prisoners throne, Jude goes on to call Nicasia “his ex-girlfriend” instead of “queen of the undersea” or “queen nicasia” It’s just interesting to me that jude chose to call nicasia “cardans ex” instead of her political title.

Why does Nicasia need Jurdan to witness this contest?

i’m still super confused as to why. i understand that if nicasia marrys someone that person will then rule along side Nicasia and need to be able to have a treaty with elfhame. So i guess jude and cardan need to meet nicasia’s consort to see what’s coming and who they’ll potentially be dealing with. but it’s kind of weird, specially for jude. Like imagine having to help your husbands ex girlfriend chose a partner? and your husband helping?

also it’s been stated many times throughout The Stolen Heir duology that the Undersea is extremely dangerous, we got a peek in the prisoners throne as to what that might look like when Oak and wren got attacked by the sea on ship as they were getting to Elfhame. I know Jude and Cardan have to respect the treaty with the undersea, but why in the world would they agree to even GO to the undersea. Going back to TWK, jude states that it’s hard to move around, and breathe from the pressure pressing on the chest, and that it’s very uncomfortable.

Whatever Holly Black is planning I'm very excited about! She's a genius. Can't wait to have more info on this future book!

[themetalvirus]

ok i got a couple asks a bit ago about why i don't like how sonic is written in idw and it comes down to how they handle the "why doesn't comic book character kill villain" question. the actual answer is always because we wouldn't have a story anymore if the main villain was dead, but comics have to answer that question in-universe in a satisfying way or it'll just be frustrating.

in my opinion, there's a clear answer why sonic doesn't kill eggman in the games: he has a lot of fun on his adventures to stop eggman. without eggy he'd be bored as hell. he's more than willing to kill other villains, but eggman is different.

i think a part of that is also eggman being one of the few constants in his winding, unfocused path in life. despite everything, everyone needs something to hold onto, some kind of consistency, and eggman is part of that normalcy for him since he's been around since he was little. not to be that guy, but eggman is the only consistent adult presence in his life. it'd be weird for him if that was gone.

how idw sonic addresses this is SO ANNOYING TO ME. it characterizes sonic as having a Clear Set Of Morals (instead of going by vibes which is what several of his songs establish he actually does) like he's batman or something and he's constantly yapping about freedom of choice.

to me, sonic is a character all about doing his own thing. he'll kill people if he needs to, he'll make "bad" choices for the sake of what he thinks is right. he doesn't care what other people think is the correct choice, he's going to decide that for himself and what he thinks the correct choice is can vary widely based on the circumstances AND his mood.

to suddenly pretend that sonic doesn't take lives because something something freedom of choice is ridiculous. and to pretend that it's somehow in line with how he acts in the games is straight-up insulting.

the part that's most frustrating to me is the meta aspect though. we all know eggman is never going to "come around", he's a cartoon villain. the comic insisting on bringing up eggman MAYBE becoming niceys is annoying as an audience because we know it is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. sonic being fixated on that is annoying as an audience because we know it is NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. it's just wasting our time even entertaining the thought and wasting page space that could be used on something actually interesting.

it's not like sonic doesn't have the information available to him to realize this either. his whole fucking life is proof that eggman has his own style that he won't change. the stupidass amnesia mr. tinker plot isn't proof that eggman can be secretly good, it's proof that eggman without all of his life experiences due to a brain injury could be good. but we know that's not permanent and not really a possibility. eggman is shaped by his experiences and has calcified into who he is. much like sonic.

sonic insisting on leaving very dangerous people alive and free to do as they please is something NEW TO IDW and is the stupidest shit ever. i don't think he would leave surge free to do what she wants because of principles, it'd be because he wants to see how she ends up in the future. she seems interesting, let's see how this goes.

it's just strange introducing this batman-esque set of morals to sonic the hedgehog, especially because it doesn't make sense with any of sonic's past appearances and doesn't add anything interesting to the story like it does with a character like batman.

i do really like idw. my blog is themed around the metal virus arc, i absolutely love a lot of what it has to offer. the way sonic is written is so abrasive to me that he's one of my least favorite aspects of the whole comic, and considering the whole fucking thing is named after him, that's... not great.

[catalina-infanta]

The Question of the Collar & the Dark Rise Trilogy

I am pro collar. And Ill tell you why.

I have been seeing a couple posts on this topic and people go back and forth, but none have fully encapsulated what I see as being one of the biggest reasons I believe the collar is consensual and probably a kink. I also think there is a possibility it also allows free will, but today I shall argue for why I believe it’s consensual on James’s part, because that is where the doubt lies within the fandom it seems. It is very clear to me that Will is erotically enticed by the collar also, but who really needs convincing of that?

So, firstly, there are so many instances where we see that James is visibly turned on by the collar. See how Will acknowledges James in the quote below as looking already surrendered, and going “pliant as if the same hot gold ran like sweet need through his veins” :

James is clearly very turned on by the collar, it’s in the text in many instances. The words used here are evocative: need, pliant, sweet, and hot.  Where do you see that kind of language other than in the erotica and romance genres? It then goes on to talk about how his shirt is open, how his eyes are glazed, and how he is “yielding”. Basically, this is a sex scene without the sex. The collar is an object of lust for the duo, and this is being communicated to the audience. Authors, when writing, do not use evocative language by accident. No. They paint a picture with words to influence their readers emotionally in the direction they want our minds to go. Every detail is planted on purpose when you are a good author. And Pacat is a good author!

But there is so much more. Here, in the next scene, James is seen wetting his lips:

Wetting one’s lips is a sign of attraction. If you don’t believe me, just Google it! We also have another scene where James’s pupils are blown wide when watching the collar in the throne room scene; yet another physical sign of attraction in a human being and something we see in novels all the time.

But Pacat goes further than just showing the physical signs of being turned on. If Anharion consented to a collar that controls him (to what extent it controls him, we are still unsure) we should see the signs that this is something he is possibly interested in emotionally. Or at least, something Anharion was interested in and James responds to at least on some level. And there are so, so many signs. This is shown through what he likes, shown through what he does, says, and what others say about him (not just Will, but Sinclair as well as others). Why is Pacat seeding all these comments about James’s need to serve, to please, other than to put in our minds that there is an aspect of James/Anharion's character that this is something he likes, and that it is a possibility that the collar might have been his choice in the past? It’s a kink for sure, and something James may determine he is not interested in in the next book, but for the sake of argument, look at the screencaps below:

Will is picking up on something about James’s personality, and James is relieved and perhaps surprised that he has been so transparent. It is clear to Will that James likes to take orders. After all, before he was Sinclair’s (the Dark Lord’s) man, he was the exemplary novitiate, wasn’t he?

In an even better example of this below, we see him kind of asking Will that Will's request for James to come to him after opening the gate become an order. But, why ask this? What purpose does it serve James to make Will give him an order? Why does James want it to be an order?

Will catches on and gets it, equally turned on. His lips curl (in a smile) and lowering your lashes is a sign of submission in human interaction; James is lowering his lashes showing submission to Will. James is aroused here too, because in the next moment he asks Will to kiss him.

We have it from others perspectives too, here below, we have Sinclair telling James he likes to serve, he is a born submissive and to “belong” to someone, echoing what James himself has said to Will countless times:

And just to top this with a cherry, Sinclair’s scene with James he tells us James, upon a successful mission, liked being praised and “sitting at his feet”. This calls to mind the imagery of the chain at the bottom of the throne.  

In terms of similar character types in Pacat's work, Erasmus from Captive Prince comes to mind. He was a collared slave and we get some glorious descriptions with him being quite the submissive with the “lowered lashes” (ring any bells?) :

May I just interject to reiterate that the language around the collar is really so sexual, I don’t think I need to post more about this, because some of the screencaps above illustrate this, but I am sure you can all imagine and remember how you felt reading those scenes; they were enticing. I just cant imagine Pacat would use such romantic, erotic, and lush imagery if this collar were the instrument of coercion, compulsion, and humiliation, and even possible r*pe, that we are supposed to think because this is YA fantasy genre and not horror. Someone might argue that they weren’t sleeping together when Anharion was wearing the collar, but I would counter-argue that of course they were! Everyone who knew about the Dark King and his Betrayer knew they were in a romantic relationship, from James’s father, to Gauthier, to Kettering. And we are only supposed to think the collar is all these bad things based off the second hand knowledge passed down by characters like Gauthier, or the vague and evasive language used in the last chapter by both James and the narration (but this is not really shown by James's feelings when he has it put on him). But when James first puts it on, he is described as “hating how good it felt” as well as having some rather erotic flashbacks to Anharion and Sarcean (and that didn’t sound coerced to me, it sounded romantic and swoon-worthy, it sounded like he was being "filled up" which is a way my old therapist friend used to describe being emotionally fulfilled by one's partner). So, why would the principle couple be one that started in coercion and assault? Maybe this is something else being said by Pacat about purity culture, and how there is nothing morally wrong with kink as long as the two are consenting, loving adults who trust each other? James CLEARLY trusts Will to "hold the key" so to speak as he asks him to in the throne room. Just because some of us dont explore our sexuality in this way doesn't make it wrong and I think Pacat is challenging the readers (as Will is being challenged) to reconsider their biases about what is "wrong" not through the lens of what other people think but through what two people feel is right in the loving and trusting relationship that they have together through Total Power Exchange. This is not a story about abuse. Who would want to read that?

No, this is something else in my opinion. I think the collar is completely in line with the desires of Sarcean and Anharion, and their reincarnations are now echoing those desires thousands of years later and they will see whether it is ultimately something that they want to explore together in the next book. The collar was consensual: it is not in line with the YA romance fantasy genre to have a couple start out so grossly abusive towards each other, especially when the language is evocative of romance, and the personalities are showing desire. I think we are meant to challenge our assumptions here about people and what is considered “normal” instead of just thinking if a couple doesn’t fit our idea of a perfect mold that there must be something wrong with them. Also, please remember that Pacat is twisting our heads in one direction with the characters own misconceptions and half truths, when I believe he is planting enough evidence to surprise us (and Will) in the last novel with the revelation that has been hidden in plain sight all along: that Sarcean wasn't hurting Anharion. On the contrary. He was freeing him.

[burst-of-iridescent]

I hate when people say(*writers*) when zuko is an emo bad boy. When zuko acts "emo" and "badboy" as they say it's him reacting to his trauma and abuse as a kid(most of time. Zuko is still badass. But badboy no). Is it an excuse? No. But when zuko is acting that way in canon, his obsession with honor, his yelling, his moodiness, his short temper. That is the product of having his empathy literally beaten/burned out of him by his father(and mocked and emotionally abused by Azula). The reason Zuko is doing this whole thing is because he wants to please his father. Become someone he's not. His struggle of who his father wants to be with who he is. It's because of the abuse of his father and his family. As the series goes on you get more and more flashes of the person Zuko was and the person he can become. By the end of the series it's such a great contrast and Zuko is much more happier because he's with the gaang. His family. He got out of that abusive situation he was in and finally became himself. A dorky, empathetic, caring, skilled swords men, a balanced person. Does he still have moments of anger? Yes. But over all Zuko becomes a fully balanced person.

gasp! but if we don't call zuko a bad boy, however will we make sure people don't get any ideas about shipping him with katara?

jokes aside, you're absolutely right and i roll my eyes so hard when people point to bad things zuko did, or his behaviour pre-redemption as indisputable proof of the kind of person he'd be post-redemption. like you said, a lot of zuko's actions and mannerisms before day of black sun is a direct result of the trauma he suffered, and though that doesn't excuse him - and neither does the show allow it to - discounting it entirely is to erase the abuse zuko endured and how that shaped him.

using the first half of book 3 as evidence of zuko being a supposed bad boy irks me in particular because a) the narrative makes it pretty clear that this is zuko as the worst version of himself, the opposite of everything he actually is and could be, and b) he is stuck in an abusive household at the mercy of his abusers, in an actively life-threatening situation.

zuko knows that he is in a situation where he has no real agency, freedom or control. he knows that aang is alive, that azula has turned him into a scapegoat and that his life will be forfeit if his father finds out the truth. that is an incredibly terrifying and stressful situation to be put in and it's worsened by the fact that he can't even admit it - not just because doing so would mean accepting that he gave up everything that actually mattered in the catacombs to gain nothing in return, but also because no one around him will allow him to do so.

his girlfriend can't understand his experiences or his turmoil and doesn't seem to particularly want to, brushing off his anxieties and encouraging him to stay the course. he is manipulated by his father and gaslighted by his sister, aware deep down that he is entirely under their control and that they have a vested interest in keeping him helpless, yet forced to pretend as though nothing is wrong. he is isolated from the one person who could help - his uncle - physically and emotionally, both because visiting iroh puts zuko in danger, and because zuko's choices have created a rift in their relationship.

all of this compounds the psychological stress zuko is experiencing, forcing him into a constant state of fight-or-flight, and this context is vital to understanding many of the decisions he makes and how he behaves in the first half of book 3.

(this is why i don't agree with the take that hiring combustion man is an ooc moment for zuko because even though i think the idea of combustion man himself is stupid - not to mention disrespectful to the hindu origins it's pulling from - it's a fundamentally desperate move, and zuko at this point is more desperate than he's ever been.)

that's why it's unlikely that zuko post-redemption would behave similarly since many of the factors that contributed to his anger, hostility and moodiness would no longer exist! judging zuko's future behaviour based on a time when he was constantly abused, gaslighted and threatened is just not an accurate or fair means of measurement, especially since we know what he's like at his best. the zuko we see with the gaang still has a bit of a short fuse, sure, but he's also sincere, honest, awkward, shy and far happier than he's ever been. because shocker, people tend not to act the same way in healthy, supportive environments as they do in abusive, traumatic ones. who would've thought?

people who make this argument also usually tend to compare zuko to aang, especially to glorify how aang remains cheerful and peaceful despite his trauma, and... no. just no. first of all, the show barely gives a fuck about developing aang's trauma the way it does zuko's so of course it seems to affect him less, and secondly, there's something to be said about how trauma responses like aang's are a lot more palatable and comfortable for audiences than responses like zuko's, or even katara's in the southern raiders.

anger or moodiness, or wanting to punish the people who hurt you, are not inherently wrong ways to react when you've been wronged and traumatized. praising aang for remaining cheerful and forgiving while calling zuko a bad boy for being angry and moody implies a sense of moral superiority that comes with reacting to trauma in the "right" way, which is both inaccurate and insensitive.

zuko will never be aang, and that's fine. he doesn't have to be. he ends the show reclaiming everything his abusers tried to take from him, having found himself and his destiny, in a place of healing that is all his own. that is an incredibly meaningful and powerful narrative, and the last thing zuko deserves is to have all of his complexity and development stripped just to be reduced to the tired trope of a "bad boy" when he was never one in the first place.

[merwgue]

Lucien Vanserra: The True Victim of A Court of Thorns and Roses

Let’s get one thing straight: while everyone’s focused on the traumas of Feyre, Nesta, and Rhysand, Lucien Vanserra is quietly enduring some of the most heartbreaking and soul-crushing treatment in the entire A Court of Thorns and Roses series. This man is the definition of “forgotten hero,” a character shoved into the background while everyone else’s emotional baggage takes center stage. But when you really break down his journey, it becomes clear: Lucien is the true victim of the story. Abandoned, betrayed, rejected, and shunned—he’s lost more than anyone gives him credit for. And let’s not even get started on his non-existent support system.

This essay is for Lucien, the character who deserved more.

Tamlin: A Complicated Friendship

Okay, let’s ease up on Tamlin for a second. He’s not the villain in Lucien’s story, but it’s impossible to overlook the ways in which he’s failed Lucien as a friend. Sure, Tamlin saved Lucien’s life, and in the early books, their camaraderie seems genuine. Lucien is loyal to Tamlin, even to the point of defending his choices when everything in the Spring Court is falling apart. But here’s the thing—Tamlin is a terrible friend to Lucien in the long run. When Tamlin goes off the rails, obsessing over Feyre and becoming a controlling mess, Lucien gets stuck cleaning up after him.

Lucien is the one trying to hold the Spring Court together while Tamlin spirals, and what does he get for his trouble? Tamlin’s neglect and emotional distance. He stands by Tamlin because of loyalty and friendship, but let’s not pretend that Tamlin did the same for him. When Lucien finally helps Feyre escape Tamlin’s suffocating control, it’s less of a betrayal and more of Lucien doing the right thing. But Tamlin? He sees it as the ultimate backstab, and that’s where their relationship falls apart. Lucien, once again, is left out in the cold, torn between his sense of duty and doing what’s right. He deserves better, but Tamlin’s emotional instability makes sure that Lucien never really gets to be his own person.

The Autumn Court: The True Hellscape

If you think Lucien’s life in the Spring Court was bad, wait until you hear about his childhood. Born into the Vanserra family of the Autumn Court, Lucien was the outcast of a vicious, backstabbing dynasty. Beron, his father, is a tyrant who not only sees Lucien as an expendable pawn but actively wants him dead. His brothers? Equally charming. It’s clear from the start that Lucien never had a chance to thrive in the Autumn Court, a place where power is everything, and kindness is seen as weakness.

And let’s not forget the whole Jesminda tragedy. Lucien dared to fall in love with a lesser fae, a love that cost Jesminda her life when Lucien’s family decided that this romance didn’t fit their elitist ideals. Jesminda’s murder was a turning point for Lucien—he fled his home, knowing that if he stayed, his family would finish the job. He’s a fugitive in his own court, forever on the run from the very people who are supposed to protect him. The Autumn Court isn’t just abusive—it’s a prison. Lucien had to escape, and in doing so, he severed any ties he had to a place that was supposed to be his birthright. Now he’s left without a home, a family, or a sense of belonging.

Elain Archeron: The Ultimate Rejection

And now, onto Lucien’s “reward” for all his suffering—Elain Archeron. Because apparently, the universe decided that after all the abuse, loss, and betrayal, what Lucien really needed was to be rejected by his mate. Let’s be clear: the mating bond is supposed to be this magical, unbreakable connection, right? Wrong. In Lucien’s case, it’s a constant source of pain and rejection.

Elain doesn’t just ignore the bond—she actively refuses to even acknowledge Lucien’s existence. She treats him like an awkward acquaintance, if that. Lucien, being the respectful guy he is, gives her space and time, but let’s face it: Elain’s rejection isn’t just about needing time to adjust to being fae. She’s chosen to flat-out pretend like Lucien isn’t her mate, and that stings. For a man who’s lost everything—his home, his family, his friends—this bond should have been a light at the end of the tunnel. Instead, it’s another source of heartbreak.

Lucien doesn’t even have a chance to prove himself to Elain. She’s decided from the start that their bond doesn’t matter, that Lucien doesn’t matter. And while everyone is wrapped up in the Nesta-Cassian drama, Lucien’s quietly standing on the sidelines, feeling the weight of his mate’s rejection. It’s brutal, and the narrative never gives him the closure he so desperately needs.

The Night Court: The Perpetual Outsider

Lucien finally gets out of the toxic mess that is the Spring Court, but what does he find in Velaris? A new home? New friends? Ha! Not even close. Rhysand and his inner circle barely tolerate Lucien. Rhysand is too wrapped up in his own superiority complex to give Lucien a real chance. Let’s not forget that Rhysand, the Great High Lord, practically sneers at Lucien for his past alliances and treats him like an outsider.

Sure, Feyre brings Lucien to Velaris, but the rest of the inner circle doesn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat. Lucien is treated with suspicion, kept at arm’s length, and never fully integrated into their group. He’s just… there. Rhysand’s so busy being the “hero” that he doesn’t see Lucien for what he really is—a loyal ally who’s willing to sacrifice everything to protect the people he cares about.

And don’t even get me started on Amren. The self-proclaimed “second-in-command” spends most of her time glaring at Lucien, like he’s some kind of ticking time bomb. It’s almost laughable how little effort anyone makes to actually welcome him. Lucien’s loyalty to Feyre is the only reason he’s tolerated in Velaris, and even then, it’s clear that he doesn’t belong. He’s an outsider, floating through the courts, never truly accepted anywhere.

No Home, No Family, No Love

So where does that leave Lucien? He has no home—his family tried to kill him, his best friend fell apart, and the court that’s supposed to be his sanctuary treats him like a stray dog. He has no family—his father is a tyrant, his brothers are cutthroats, and his mate wants nothing to do with him. And he has no love—not from Elain, not from his friends, and certainly not from the universe that keeps throwing him into impossible situations.

Lucien’s story is one of relentless isolation, rejection, and pain. He’s been cast out of every place he’s ever called home, left with no real allies and no future. And yet, the narrative doesn’t even bother to give him the closure or redemption he deserves. While everyone else is busy finding their happily-ever-afters, Lucien is left wandering, a victim of fate, circumstance, and neglect.

Conclusion

Lucien Vanserra is the forgotten victim of A Court of Thorns and Roses. While Feyre, Rhysand, and the rest of the inner circle grapple with their various traumas, Lucien quietly endures some of the most heartbreaking experiences of the entire series. His loyalty is betrayed, his love rejected, and his place in the world shattered. He has no home, no family, no friends, and no love—just a never-ending cycle of loss and rejection.

If anyone deserves sympathy, it’s Lucien. The series may focus on the dramatic arcs of its other characters, but Lucien’s story is the true tragedy. He’s the character who’s been failed by everyone around him, and the one who truly deserves a happy ending—but likely won’t ever get one.

[waffle-sorter]

The other day, I came across a post by @thejakeformerlyknownasprince talking about, among other things, rarepairs in Animorphs shipping. And one that was mentioned was Melissa/Tobias, which somehow grabbed onto my brain and won't let go. So here's the concept I've come up with, because I have to do something with it and no way am I confident enough to try writing Melissa.

This would be a fic from Melissa's POV. Ideally in first person like the canon Animorphs books, but I'm not picky about it.

It's Rachel who introduces them, naturally. The boy looks vaguely familiar; Melissa never really paid attention to him, but was he always so... confident and alert? When she talks, he looks at her like she's got his whole attention. (For the purposes of this fic, Rachel and Tobias wouldn't be in a relationship. There may be a story there, but it's not this one.)

So the two start to hang out more and more, and gradually those hangouts become dates. Tobias' home life remains a complete mystery - any time she offers to walk him home, or have her dad pick him up for something, he seems so uncomfortable with the idea that she backs off, and sometimes he vanishes the next time she looks away. Sometimes he talks like he's got a brother or two, but one of them seems to be Jake's friend Marco, who's definitely an only child, so she must be misunderstanding something.

And Tobias does vanish, a lot, actually. They'll say goodbye and go their separate ways, and Melissa looks back and he's nowhere to be seen. Between that and the fact that he doesn't seem to have a phone number, she sometimes wonders if he's even real. (I'm picturing a phone conversation with Rachel where Melissa goes "be straight with me, is my boyfriend a ghost?")

And then they kiss, he completely disappears, and Melissa doesn't see him at all for over a week. When he does show up, he's blatantly worried, showing more emotion than he's ever displayed before. After frankly excessive checks to make sure they're totally alone, he tells her that he has to confess something, and she can't tell anybody, like no, anybody at all. (I want some kind of "what, are you a vampire?" here, but I don't think that was a significant thing in mainstream consciousness before Twilight in 2005.) And then, before her eyes, Tobias' body starts to change, compressing into itself, sprouting feathers...

(It is essential to my concept that, up to this point, the story be strictly slice-of-life, with no clear indication that any of the events of canon are happening. Tobias' disappearances could be parkour or camouflage or something, and the hawk that's often mentioned when he's not around might just be a coincidence. Melissa's parents are distant and stressed, but it could just as easily be because of their jobs or something. The canon Animorphs - including "Phillip" - recently started hanging out together, and sometimes they all go absent at the same time, but who knows what's going on in other people's heads? Any indication that they're suffering from escalating stress and dissociation should be within levels reasonably attributed to the middle-school experience. The Sharing probably shouldn't be mentioned more than passingly.)

And so Melissa hears his voice in her head, explaining that he met an alien who gave him morphing powers, and that some things went wrong and now the hawk is his base form, so he can't live a normal life. If pressed, he admits that it would be possible to make his human form his base again, but then he wouldn't be able to morph any more at all, and he "can't" do that but won't explain why not.

I think that's where the story should end, although I do have thoughts about a couple of story threads that would need at least an epilogue.

[fantisyoflove]

Snape's First Year Teaching[part 1]

*not my picture, I found it on pintrest*

Warning ⚠️ mentions of death. ⚠️

Chapter word count: 2392

Total work word count: 24,244

Enjoy 🥰

In Dumbledore's office you stand, hands behind your back, as you watch him pace.

"I have no doubt professor Snape is loyal to me, I just think that having you will persuade him a little more if need be."

"You want me to become friends with him?" You ask a little confused. Dumbledore had requested you spy for him, given your pure blood status and familial ties to other death eaters, but this seemed weird.

"Well, quite honestly Miss Burke, if you could be more than friends that might help" Dumbledore spoke as if they were discussing flavors of chocolate, not going under cover as a spy and trying to sleep with someone to help you gain access to more intell and secrets!

"Sir, I don't think I could..."

"Oh don't worry too much, If all goes well the person you pretend to be will be long gone after we win this war. That is still your intent isn't it? Saving countless lives?"

Damn, he really knew how to push you!

"Yes, sir." You said with a sigh.

Dumbledore clapped his hands together, "Excellent! Then you are hired! I am sure you will be an excellent addition to our staff" the smile he gave seemed sweet and genuine but with the shadows from the candle light it made him look sinister.

*that night in the great hall, preparing for the sorting ceremony*

Professor Snape was sitting at the end of the very long table up front for staff, his head bent as he read a book under the table. Head resting in one hand, hair falling into his face despite his attempts to tie it back. You took a deep breath, 'atleast he's not ugly' you thought as you walked towards him. The seat next to him was vacant, in fact the next 3 seats beside him were. Nobody was looking in his direction and he seemed perfectly content reading alone.

Walking up to him you tapped on his shoulder and cleared your throat. Snape jumped and dropped his book on the floor. Turning to glare at you, he pushed the hair out of his face.

"Can I help you?" He hissed. You watched his hand pull his wand out of his inside cloak pocket, give it a little flourish and mutter under his breath. His book flew back onto his lap and you saw the same page as before.

"Oh, I umm... I am. I'm sorry. I was just going to ask if I could sit by you?"

His expression softened but he looked around the room suspiciously. You looked too, confused what he was searching for, maybe his friends that usually sat with him....

"Is this some kind of prank?" He whispered through gritted teeth.

"Prank? What? No! I just... I am ... I am just new here and thought maybe ...."

Snape put his hand up, "stop. I don't know who put you up to this but I am in no mood. Please leave me be. I sure there are plenty of other people you could sit next to."

Your face fell, "oh, um okay. I'm sorry. Again. Sorry" you stumble over your words and wring your hands together. Turning away you go to sit somewhere else. Unfortunately all the seats were now taken and the students were filling in the great hall doors.

Snape looked down the table and rolled his eyes "typical".

You took the chair immediately to his left and sat down. Dumbledore began his announcements, the usual stuff and then "... and also join me in welcoming our new potions professor. Professor Snape!" He paused for applause and there was a polite amount but Snape looked indifferent as he stood and took a small bow to the students before sitting back down. "As well as our new herbology Professor, Professor Burke." Another pause for applause. You stood and copied the bow Snape did but as you went to sit back down you bumped your chair and almost fell but Snape caught your arm. He pushed your chair back into place and then let go as you sat back down. He clasped both hands between his knees and stared at his empty plate. You lean towards him and whisper "thank you!" He relaxes his position a little but still doesn't look at you. 'What an odd man' you think.

"I'm sure you will make them both feel welcome! Now let the feast begin!" Dumbledore finishes and the house elf magic fills the room, the tables piled with food and drink.

You glance at professor Snape, he has taken a small piece of chicken, a scoop of peas, and a slice of buttered bread. You notice there isn't any pitcher's to get a drink for himself so you pass the water jug and the decanter of wine. He didn't turn his head but a shaky hand reached for the wine and poured himself a good size glass. You held out your hand for it once he was done and he passed it to you.

"Thank you, again" you said sweetly and smiled at him.

He nodded once but still wouldn't look at you. He took a few bites of his food, chugged his wine, muttered "excuse me", and then clumsily grabbed his book and a bag from under the table and ran to the door behind the teachers table.

You had barley raised your first fork full to your mouth by the time the door clicked shut.

Professor McGonagall leaned closer to you and whispered. "Don't mind Severus, my dear. He had a rough time during his school years making friends. I do think, though, like any wounded bird, it's best to approach them slowly." She gave you a wink and then turned back to her plate.

You nodded, "Thank you professor."

*A week of classes, getting used to things, setting up your office and creating lesson plans on the fly left you exhausted. You sat next to Snape at every meal he also attended and smiled and said hello to him in the halls and by Friday you were getting a nod back afterwards! Now Saturday morning you were sitting at breakfast enjoying your tea. You had to classes and nothing to do today. Most professors grabbed food to go and went about their day but you decided to sit in the dinning hall*

"Hello."

You turn to see Snape standing there awkwardly. A book tucked under his arm and his bag hanging loose on his shoulder.

"Hello professor! " you scoot your plate over and move the book you had open on the table. "Please," you gesture to his usual chair and see a small smile in the corner of his lips.

You remember McGonagall's advice and wait quietly as he settles in and starts eating. You figured if he doesn't say anything before he finishes eating then you will ask him how his first week went. You pretend to be engrossed in your book, taking bites or sips every other page.

Snapes eyes keep darting from you, to his plate, to the book left unopened beside him. His once steady hand shaking enough that his eggs plop back onto the plate. He sets his fork down with a little too much force causing you to jump.

"Everything alright?" You ask trying to catch his eye.

He nods and looks away from you, towards the door near the table. 'Hes going to bolt' you think 'it's now or never'. You open your mouth to speak but before you do he turns back to you suddenly and says a little louder than necessary, "howhasyourweekbeen?"

"I'm sorry? What did you..." he cut you off

"No, um how, ha..oow" his voice is quivering. You notice how young he truly is. Like you, probably only 20, 21 years old. How had he gotten mixed up with death eaters enough that they trusted him AND Dumbledore was using him to spy? He was so young, he deserved to live a life free of this war. And that's what you would keep telling yourself if this worked. People like him, all the children in this castle right now, and countless others will be saved if you can take down he who must not be named.

"How was your first week" he sputtered out. His neck was bright red and the red was quickly creeping up to his cheeks. He was sitting on his hands and having a hard time meeting your eyes for too long.

You smiled softly to him, "it was good. My students were very understanding with my last minute lesson plans." You closed the book you were reading and turned a little to face him

"Why were your lesson plans last minute?" He wrinkled his nose a bit, seemingly disgusted by your lack of planning.

"Oh, ermm, well Dumbledore called upon me last minute to work here. Before I was traveling and doing research and such. I guess they had an opening they hadn't filled yet, and well here I am" you finished with a shrug.

Snape gave you a quizzical look but then made his face blank again.

"So, how was your first week?"

He turned back to his breakfast but paused to mumble, "fine".

"That's good! I love potions they are a little hobby of mine. If I hadnt gone into Herbology I would have mastered potions" he seemed to brighten up at this and turn back to you.

"Really?"

"Well yea! I feel like we will probably be working together a lot given I grow a lot of the ingredients you need and you make the repellents. So I'm told."

"True, is that... is that why you're being so nice to me?" This was the first time he made direct eye contact with you and held your gaze. You smiled, "well kinda. But also because I figured we are both new professors and it might help if we stuck together. My parents moved around a lot when I was young so I changed schools a lot... I never really felt like I had any real friends"

A look came over his face that you couldn't quite read but it made you feel like you should hold him. Maybe one day. But for now you just held his gaze .

"You ever feel like that?"

He dropped his fork on the ground and in the attempt to retrieve it he knocked over his cup of juice onto his book and your lap. A slew of curses flew out of his mouth as he tried to right everything. Grabbing napkins and dropping back down to the ground. You grabbed your wand and tapped the cup 3 times before whispering the enchantment to make every drop of liquid return to the cup. You got up and moved the chair out of the way and held both your hands out to help him up. He looked close to tears but grabbed both your hands and stood. He glared at the floor and started grabbing his stuff growling "stupid, stupid, stupid" as he stormed out of the great hall.

You pushed in both your chairs and noticed a few eyes still staring your way. You gave a sarcastic wave and suddenly those eye were VERY interested in the plates on the table.

You grabbed your things and followed after Snape. Using a more complex spell you followed his foot prints calmly and quietly. They led to his office and then down to the further corridors that led outside. Soon you found yourself along the edge of the black lake and Snape was up ahead. He sat under the shade of a large oak tree, just barely visible by his hair blowing in the wind. You heard a small sniffle and soft crying. You put your wand away and came up along the shore line trying not to startle him.

"Pro.. professor Snape?" You called out. The sobbing stopped and you watched him jump to his feet and go further behind the tree.

"Go Away!" He hissed

"Severus? Severus, please. I promise you I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I said go away! Or are deaf and stupid!" He snapped.

You gritted your teeth. Biting back SEVERAL things you would like to say to him and taking in a breath.

"Look," you circled around the tree trying to look at him but he mirrored your steps so he was always hidden. "I don't know what your life has been like but you can trust me"

You heard him scoff, "you! Trust you? I don't even know you! For all I know your just some silly little girl sent by someone to make a fool out of me!"

Your breath hitched because he wasn't far off.

"I don't want to make a fool out of you! And I'm hear because I care Severus. Please come out. I promise nothing bad or mean will happen to you. Please just let me apologize to your face. I didn't mean to spill that," he stepped out from behind the tree.

"Apologize? Apologize for what!?" He snarled. His eyes were puffy and red and his nose was leaking a bit. You held out your handkerchief. He snatched it away from you and turned to wipe his eyes and blow his nose.

"For spilling that juice and for scaring you away"

"But you didn't do that," he whispered. "I did, I'm a blithering idiot who just wanted to talk to you and and then then I and I" he started hiccupping and crying again. You reached forward and touched his shoulder only for him to jerk away.

"Severus..." you start but he whips around and screams, "I said go away! You stupid little girl!" he is inches from your face. You don't back down even though your body flinches away. You stand on your tiptoes to look him in the face.

"FINE!" You growl back. You step closer to him and he takes a half step backwards. "You know I thought you would be different! But you're just like everyone else. A bully!" You spin on your heel and stomp away.

Behind you Snape'a face falls and his shoulders slump. "I'm sorry" he says under his breath to himself. He knows you can't here he from this distance. The tears fall freely now and he clutches your handkerchief to his chest, slumped against the tree, he melts down to the ground and lays there in the shade of the tree.

Also avaliable on my ao3 😻