#the more perspectives you have on a subject the more you can get an accurate feel for what you need

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

analyzing hermes, emet-selch, the ancients and ascians, how they're written, and the fandom's reaction to them be like hm. emet-selch's role in this fuckery is compounded by the fact that his backstory as a genocide survivor is incongruous with his ruling a huge genocidal colonialist world power in the present da [ANTISEMITISM BLAST]

[chaoticforever]

Remnants of Regret | Tony Stark x Son! Reader

Summary: All Y/n ever wanted was his father’s love. Was that too much to ask?

Y/n sat on the floor in his bedroom, legs crossed, focusing intently on the canvas propped up before him. With a charcoal stick in his hand, Y/n carefully sketched the outline of a cityscape, his e/c eyes narrowed in concentration. His room permeated with the soft scratching of charcoal on canvas, a melody in the air.

Once Y/n finished the final touches and scooted back to examine his piece. One simple word crossed his mind: beautiful.

Since childhood, Y/n has loved drawing, sketching, and painting. He started with simple subjects like trees, flowers, and stars, then progressed to more complex images like people's faces and vehicles. He loved it so much that he pursued an art degree in college, unable to imagine a life not surrounded by art of some kind.

Furthermore, art allowed him to express emotions that words couldn't convey by providing an escape from the chaos of everyday life. It was just him, his brush, and the many possibilities on a canvas.

However, Y/n sometimes wondered if choosing art as his passion was a good idea since his father, Tony Stark, did not seem to appreciate his artistic abilities. Instead, he shifted the appreciation that he should have for Y/n to someone else.

Peter Parker.

See, Y/n Stark is the type of guy who preferred music and painting to building suits and technology that Tony loved so much, which only seemed to widen the gap between father and son. Tony didn’t seem to have much time for his son but made sure to have lots of time for Peter, who shared Tony's love for technology.

Y/n couldn’t help but feel jealous as he watched his dad always dote on Peter, offering him opportunities and praise that Y/n craved. But he seemed to have little time or patience for his artistic son.

He placed his finished piece on his desk and started putting away his sketching utensils. Just then, he heard a knock on his open door and turned around to see that Steve was standing in the doorway. Y/n smiled when he saw Steve. Besides Tony, Steve was his favorite Avenger. He sometimes acted more of a parent than the one currently in his life and the guys both bonded over their love for drawing.

"Hey, Steve. How was the mission?"

"Tiring. Dealing with rogue mutants can certainly take a toll on me," Steve replied, his eyes suddenly drifting to Y/n's newly crafted sketch, "Nice drawing Y/n. Is this for your end-of-semester art project?"

Y/n nodded his head in confirmation. "Yes, my professor wanted the class to draw something that represents our unique perspective on the world."

"And what perspective is that?"

Y/n paused to think about that question. "I guess... It's my view of the world as an artist. The world is full of life and energy, but there's also darkness and shadows. It's a reminder that beauty and struggles coexist. Nothing can ever change that."

Steve nodded, tracing the bold lines and subtle shading. "That’s an interesting yet accurate perspective. I am proud of you. You’re going to do great things one day."

A small smile appeared on Y/n’s face. He may not have gotten his dad’s praise, but he was happy that someone praised his artistic abilities and told him that he was proud of him. It warmed his heart.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"You’re welcome. By the way, we’re having a group dinner tonight. We’ll be having lasagna, so bring your appetite."

Y/n grinned. He loved the soldier's cooking, especially when it was a dinner meal. It was so much better than eating takeout. "Oh, I'll be there, and y'all better hope that it all doesn’t get eaten by me."

Steve laughed before pivoting on his heel and leaving. Y/n watched as the soldier's retreating figure disappeared down the hall before turning back to his sketch, contentment washing over him.

As Y/n admired his work, his thoughts drifted back to his father. He knew that Tony loved him in his own way, but their relationship had always been strained. Tony’s focus on technology and his busy lifestyle, along with mentoring Peter, left little room for the two to hang out or for Tony to understand Y/n's passion for art.

But now, Y/n was determined to fix their relationship. After all, he lost his mother over a decade ago, and his father was the only blood family that he had left. He didn’t want their relationship to continue to be strained, and if Tony could make room for Peter in his life, then he could make some room for his biological son.

With that thought in mind, the e/c-eyed male headed to the private elevator that would take him to Tony’s workshop. And as he rounded the corner, he bumped into Rhodey, whom Y/n often looked up to as well. They greeted each other with their signature handshake that was only made for them two before Rhodey took off, explaining that he had a meeting to attend with a council member, and Y/n continued his journey to the workshop.

When he arrived at Tony's workshop, he saw his father standing next to his work bench, typing on his phone. Behind Tony, there was his Iron Man suit, opened up. Y/n figured that he just stepped out of it.

"Hey, Dad." Y/n greeted politely, crossing the room to give Tony a one-armed hug.

Surprisingly, Y/n's father did reciprocate the hug but didn’t even bother to look up at his son when he greeted him. He just kept his brown eyes glued to the phone in his hand. "Y/n. How was your day?"

"It was good. Classes were pretty light today, and I mostly just worked on my end-of-the-semester project for art class." Y/n explained, hoping that Tony would ask him more follow-up questions, such as what piece Y/n decided to draw or if he could see the work for himself. However, all Tony gave was a curt nod, still typing on that phone of his. So, Y/n cleared his throat and switched topics: "Dad, do you want to hang out this Saturday? There’s this art showing at the museum, and—"

"An art showing?" Tony finally looked up from his phone, his eyes flicking briefly to his son’s face before returning to the screen. "Sorry, kid, but I have meetings this Saturday. Besides, I’d rather watch paint dry than look at old paintings. You know that I’m more of a technology and engineering kind of guy than an art one."

Y/n's shoulders drooped, and he tried to hide the disappointment he felt. "Yeah, I know. I just thought maybe you’d want to spend some time together. It’s been a minute since we did something like that."

Tony seemed oblivious to Y/n's reaction, continuing to tap away at his phone. "Well, we’ve been busy. You're busy with college, and I'm busy with SI and saving the world, two full-time jobs for me," he put his phone down on the desk, finally giving Y/n his full attention. "But you’re right, we haven’t hung out in a long time. How about we go see that new Outlast movie that’s coming out next weekend?"

Y/n nodded, a small smile coming onto his face. Even though it wasn’t what he wanted to do, he was just happy to have some father-son time with his dad. And more importantly, it was without Peter.

"That sounds good to me. I can’t wait."

Y/n turned around and prepared to leave the room, excitement fluttering in his chest, just as Tony got a phone call from Peter. Y/n stood there for a moment and listened to how Tony asked Peter when he would be coming over and that Tony cleared the rest of his schedule today to help Peter with his last semester project.

The h/c-haired son frowned, feeling the excitement he felt a couple seconds ago disappear and the raw disappointment return. So, Tony can clear his schedule for Peter and make time for him, but he can't make time for his biological son?

It was ridiculous.

But Y/n had to remind himself that it was okay. Peter could have that time with his father all he wanted to today because next weekend, the two Starks would be spending some time together.

Feeling satisfied, Y/n left the workshop and returned to his room. It turned out that he had two things to look forward to: lasagna and the movies next week.

He couldn’t wait.

XXXXX XXXXX

The days passed slowly, but finally, the long-awaited Saturday finally arrived. It was the day of the planned outing with Y/n and his father, a day Y/n had been looking forward to. He hoped this would be a turning point in their relationship, a chance to bridge the gap that seemed to widen between them every passing day.

Now, he was getting ready in his room, choosing a casual outfit of jeans and a T-shirt. He knew that, even though it was April, the weather was rather cool with it being sixty-five degrees outside. That made him add a blue jacket to his outfit.

After checking himself out in the mirror, he walked down the hall to the common area, where Tony had told him to meet. As he walked down the hall, he hoped that the horror movie they were going to see would be good. The trailer did look promising but they can also be deceitful.

Y/n rounded the corner and entered the common area, where the Avengers were watching a movie and enjoying a spread of pizzas, popcorn, nachos, and cheese fries. Thor was the only one who wasn’t here since he went to Asgard for a few days. He noticed they were watching the first "Back to the Future," a classic Steve had promised to watch at the next team movie night after Y/n discovered that he had never seen that movie series before.

Guess he finally listened, Y/n thought as he looked around the room and noticed something that he had failed to notice.

His dad was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, has anyone seen my dad?" Y/n asked, looking over the team of heroes.

"Yeah, he left. You just missed him too." Clint answered, his fingers reaching into the popcorn bowl that was in his lap and shoving some popcorn into his mouth.

Y/n frowned. What? "Left? Left where?"

"He said that he was taking Peter to the science fair." Steve munched on a pizza.

The college student's heart sank and his shoulders sagged, feeling disappointed. So, his father had forgotten about their plans. Again. And it was for Peter. Again.

"Oh," was all Y/n could manage to utter. He knew that he should be used to this, but it still stung every time it happened.

Natasha, sensing the disappointment in Y/n's timbre, glanced over at him. "You didn't know he was going out with Peter."

That was a statement, not a question. Natasha had always been perceptive.

"No, no, I did," Y/n backpedaled, forcing a grin. He didn't understand why he was protecting his father, but he just wanted this conversation to end. "I just forgot, but you telling me made me remember."

Y/n knew he was a terrible liar, and he didn't sound convincing. He knew they didn't believe him, considering Steve's frown, Bruce's concerned look, and the looks shared between Clint and Natasha.

Bruce grabbed the remote and paused the movie. "Look, why don't you join us, Y/n? You can finish the movie with us."

"Yeah, come on, Y/n!" Sam piped up. "We've got plenty of food, and we were just about to start a game of charades."

Y/n glanced at the team of superheroes. While he appreciated their invitation, he had been looking forward to spending time with his dad, so he shook his head but still kept the forced smile on his features. "Thank you guys, but I think I'll just head back to my room. Next time."

The h/c-haired male turned around and left the main area, frustration nagging at his insides. When he got to his room, he flopped down on his bed, back pressed against it as he stared up at the ceiling.

He didn’t understand.

Why did Tony continue to treat him as an afterthought? And what the hell was so damn special about Peter? Why did he always have to be the recipient of his father’s love? He couldn’t help but feel like he was always playing second fiddle to the guy who was two years younger than him. It was ridiculous to be jealous of someone younger than him, but Y/n couldn’t help himself. It hurt so much that his father favored Peter over him.

Y/n pulled out his phone, intending to call his dad when he got a notification from Instagram that his dad had posted a pic. He clicked on it and found himself staring at an image of his dad with Peter.

The caption read: Peter will take over my company someday. #prouddadmoment.

Proud dad moment...?

Peter wasn’t even his actual son and Y/n couldn’t stand the way his dad looked at Peter with such praise. What can I do to make him look at me like that one time?

And before Y/n knew it, his cheeks were pelted with water, and he just realized at that moment that he was crying. The tears fell to his cheeks before dropping onto the bed, but Y/n wiped his cheeks angrily since he shouldn’t allow this to make him sad. But it was so hard not to.

His e/c eyes drifted to the photo that was on his side table. He reached for it and picked it up. It was a photo of his mom. Y/n allowed his finger to run over his mom’s smiling face in the picture. It’s times like this when he wishes that she was still alive. At least then, he’d have a parent in his life who cared about him.

Suddenly, a knock came from his door.

"Come in," Y/n called out, setting down the photo back on his desk. He wished that it was his father knocking on the door, but he wasn't surprised when the door opened, and it wasn't him. It was Steve. "Hi, Steve. Did you like the movie?"

Steve nodded, taking a seat on the bed. "I did. It was a great eighties film. I can see why you love it so much." Steve then changed the conversation. "You okay?"

Y/n nodded. He knew he wasn't okay, but he didn't want to ruin Steve's evening with his problem. "I'm fine. Shouldn't you be playing charades with everyone else?"

The soldier disregarded the question and simply stared at Y/n for a moment, seemingly sensing that he wasn’t telling the truth. "Hey, why don't we grab some dessert? I know a great ice cream shop."

Y/n hesitated briefly. He didn't want to be a burden to Steve, but he also didn't want to spend his evening in his room.

"That sounds nice, thanks." Y/n smiled and followed the soldier out of the door.

Steve drove them to a small ice cream parlor that was tucked away in the city on his motorcycle, a vehicle that Y/n had never expected to get on willingly. Steve got the classic chocolate sundae, while Y/n got a vanilla sundae with chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and a cherry on top.

They then went to the park to watch the beautiful sunset and enjoy their sundae. The sun, a fiery orb of warmth and light, dipped beneath the horizon, painting the sky with two shades of orange and pink.

Y/n and Steve watched the breathtaking scene in comfortable silence. The park was lively with kids playing, the distance hum of cars, and the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. Y/n's vanilla sundae sat untouched. His mind was elsewhere, consumed by the disappointment and hurt he felt over Tony's absence. Steve, on the other hand, enjoyed his chocolate sundae, taking slow, deliberate bites of it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The super soldier broke the silence, his eyes shifting over.

"Yup," Y/n murmured, his e/c eyes taking in the stunning view. "It's like a painting."

Steve smiled, nodding his head in agreement. He then spoke again, his voice deadly serious. "So, what's going on? You've seemed a little down lately."

Y/n let out a sigh, knowing there was no point in lying to Steve. "It's my dad. I just feel like he always puts Peter first. It's like I'm not even his real son sometimes."

The blonde's expression softened, and he placed a comforting hand on Y/n's shoulder. "I know it's tough, but try not to take it personally. Your dad has a unique relationship with Peter, but that doesn't diminish his love for you. You're his son."

He sighed again, "I know but it's hard not to feel overshadowed sometimes. Peter gets all the attention, and I'm just... here."

"Your dad may not always show it, but he's proud of you, Y/n," Steve assured him. "And I know that he loves you very much. Sometimes, parents just need a little reminder that their kids need them."

Y/n nodded, but he couldn't help feeling skeptical. After all, actions spoke louder than words, and Tony's actions indicated that he loved Peter more than him. Like Y/n would always come second to Peter.

But he didn't feel like dwelling on Tony's absence anymore. Instead, he turned his attention back to the sunset, watching as the last sliver of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. The sky grew darker, the colors of the sunset fading into the twilight. He didn't get the opportunity to spend the evening with his father as he planned, but at least he had spent it with someone who cared about him deeply.

And that made him smile.

XXXXX XXXXX

The next morning, Y/n found himself in the kitchen, the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. The events of the previous day still weighed heavily on his mind, leaving a bitter taste that even the strongest brew couldn't mask. He wanted to confront his dad about his behavior, but at the same time, he didn't want to talk to him after what happened.

As he added a dash of sugar to his cup, the familiar clanking of Tony's footsteps drew closer. He saw his father enter the kitchen, but Y/n leaned against the counter, his back stiff and his gaze fixed on the windows. He deliberately avoided greeting his dad as he would usually do.

"Morning, Y/n," Tony greeted politely, but Y/n remained quiet, his back still turned. Feeling perplexed by the cold shoulder, Tony frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing that concerns you," Y/n replied, voice low and dismissive as he finished his coffee and placed the cup in the sink.

Y/n moved forward, attempting to leave the kitchen, but Tony stepped in front of him, unsatisfied with the response. "I'm your father. It's my job to be concerned."

Y/n's laughter rang out, harsh and bitter as if Tony had just told him a funny joke. "That is quite ironic coming from you."

The frown on Tony's features deepened. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Y/n's voice was quiet, "that lately, you've been anything but a father to me. But I can't say the same for Peter tho. You literally drop everything for him, but you can't even remember our plans."

Tony took a step forward, his tone rising defensively. "That's not true, Y/n. I do my best to be there for both of you. I juggle a lot, but I make time for you when I can."

Y/n's gaze didn't waver and he cocked his head to the side. "You make time for me? Then where were you last evening?"

"I took Peter to the science fair."

"Even though we had plans to go to the movies?" The younger man pointed out.

Tony's eyebrows furrowed as realization dawned, shame washing over his face. "I'm sorry, Y/n. I know we had plans, but Peter needed me. I couldn't leave him."

The two Starks were so busy arguing that neither of them noticed a stealthy figure that managed to infiltrate the compound, temporarily disable Friday, and had a knockout device in their hand. 

"Peter needed you?" Y/n shook his head, his voice thick with hurt. Why did he forget about me? "What about what I need? You're my dad, not his. I need you."

Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You have me every day, Y/n. Don't you see that I am always here for you?"

"Are you, Dad?!" Y/n's voice rose to a shout. "When was the last time we spent quality time together, just the two of us? When was the last time you and I had a real conversation that wasn't about your work or Peter? When was the last time you asked about what's going on in my life? You probably don't even know that my birthday is in two days. I'll be turning twenty-three, by the way. You don't know that one of my art pieces was presented at the museum you found too boring to visit. And you don't know that I made the Dean's List in school for the third year in a row!" Y/n's voice dropped to a whisper, but the words still stung like acid. "Mom would never treat me the way you do."

Tony flinched as if struck, his eyes widening at the mention of Y/n's mother. The weight of his son's words hit him like a physical blow, and he opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, the room began to fill with a thick fog.

Y/n noticed it too, confusion clouding his face. But as more of the mysterious substance was released into the air, he dropped to his knees, his vision blurring. Tony staggered and slumped against the kitchen counter, his eyes falling shut.

And then, everything went dark. The gas in the room caused both father and son to collapse, slumping to the floor hard.

Later, once Y/n regained consciousness, his head pounded as he tried to piece together what happened. The last thing he remembered was the argument with Tony in the kitchen, and then everything went dark. But now, he found himself in an unfamiliar room, dimly lit by a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The walls were made of rough concrete, and the floor was cold and hard beneath him.

"Y/n? Can you hear me?" Tony's voice, filled with concern, reached him, and he turned to see his father hovering nearby.

"Dad?" Y/n's throat was dry and scratchy as he tried to sit up, but dizziness forced him to lay back down. It's overwhelming.

Tony helped Y/n into a seated position against the concrete wall. "Easy there."

Y/n looked around. "Where are we?" 

"I'm not sure," Tony admitted, his gaze scanning the room for any clues. "But it appears that we have been kidnapped." 

Y/n's heart pounded in his chest as the reality of their situation sank in. Oh crap. He couldn't believe that they were in this predicament, but he didn’t know why he was completely surprised. Since he was a Stark, people have always attempted to kidnap him since the day he was born, but this was the first time someone had successfully managed to kidnap him. 

And he couldn't shake the feeling that it was somehow his fault. If only he hadn't argued with his dad, they wouldn't have been distracted when their captor struck.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," Tony apologized, his eyes filled with remorse, and Y/n was slightly taken aback because he hadn’t been expecting that. "I should have been there for you more. I let my work and my relationship with Peter overshadow our bond. That was wrong of me to do that."

Y/n eyes drifted to his hands, clasped in his lap. "You know, it hurt every time you chose Peter over me," he admitted, his voice quiet. "I don't understand why you always favor him. Why is everything he does amazing, but when it comes to me, you're never satisfied? Was it something that I did wrong? Or didn't do? Because I can change if it means you'll love me."

Tony shook his head vigorously, moving closer to his son. "No, Y/n. I don't want you to change for anyone, especially not for me. I can admit that I haven't always handled things perfectly. Peter reminds me of myself at his age, and sometimes I get caught up in my own nostalgia. But that doesn't mean I love you any less, Y/n. You're my son. I'd do anything for you."

Y/n's heart swelled at his father's words. He forgave Tony the moment the words "I'm sorry" exited his lips. Y/n had never been one to hold grudges, and now that Tony had acknowledged his mistakes, he hoped that they could finally move forward and rebuild their relationship.

Y/n wrapped his arms around Tony, who reciprocated the gesture. "I just want to spend more time with you," he muttered. "You know, do all that father-son stuff."

"And we will," Tony promised, pulling away. "As soon as we get out of here, I'll clear my schedule for the next month. We can go to the Bahamas. The water is beautiful, and I know they have amazing art exhibits there. It can be my birthday present to you. It'll be just the two of us."

It was impossible for Y/n to refrain from allowing the corners of his mouth to curl upward into a smile. He experienced a sense of optimism for the first time in a long time. As he looked into his father's eyes, he was certain that he would fulfill his promise. Y/n couldn't help but feel like a ten-year-old on Christmas morning.

"I'd like that, but how are we going to get out of here?" That was the big question.

Tony smirked. "Leave that to my team."

He informed Y/n through sign language that he had a secret tracker implanted in his watch, which had been confiscated. The Avengers were aware of the tracker, so it wouldn't be long before they arrived.

And then, as if on cue, the door to the room they were in flew off its hinges by a man getting thrown through it. Then, Steve walked into the room, dressed in his Captain America outfit. Steve threw his shield at the cell the Starks were in, allowing the two men to finally escape.

"Tony, Y/n, are you guys okay?" Steve walked over to them and started looking for signs of harm or injuries of any kind, but was relieved that he didn’t find one. 

"Just peachy," Tony assured the blonde, grabbing his watch from a nearby table and taking Y/n's arm. They rushed out of the building, with Steve leading the way.

As the three made their way out, Y/n heard the sounds of gunfire, screaming, and growling echoing in the air. The Hulk was in full force, dismantling one of the kidnappers, while the other Avengers fought alongside him. Steve sprang back into action, and Tony transformed his watch into an Iron Man glove, joining the fighting. Even Spider-Man was there, taking out multiple opponents with ease.

But in the chaos, Y/n spotted a gunman aiming at Spider-Man from a distance. Acting without hesitation, he pushed Spider-Man out of the way, taking the bullet meant for him. The gunshot tore through Y/n's stomach, and he fell to the ground, eyes widening in shock and pain.

Tony had just fired a beam of light from his repulsor, sending the man flying into the nearby truck. But as he did, he heard the crack of a gunshot. He looked over to see where the shot had come from.

And his heart dropped to his stomach.

Y/n had been shot.

The bullet had pierced Y/n’s stomach, and blood was already soaking through his shirt, dripping onto the ground below.

"No, Y/n!" Tony screamed, running over as Steve hurled his shield at the shooter. Tony caught Y/n just as he began to fall, blood seeping through Tony's fingers as he peeled off his jacket and pressed it against the wound. Y/n trembled in his arms, his hands shaking uncontrollably.

"D-Dad."

"I know, I know, it's going to be okay," he whispered, his voice thick and his eyes shone with unshed tears. "You're going to be okay, I promise." His jaw clenched as he peered over at his teammates who had finally finished their fight and were rushing over. "Get us to a hospital, now!"

They didn't need to be told twice. Steve moved forward and quickly helped Tony carry Y/n to the Quinjet, with the other Avengers following closely behind them. Once inside, Natasha took her place in the pilot seat and Clint sat in the co-pilot seat next to her. Natasha quickly turned on the controls and maneuvered the jet into the air above, racing to the hospital.

The Quinjet soared through the sky, the city a blur below. Inside, the atmosphere was filled with worry. Everyone watched as Iron Man tried to help his injured son. Tony refused to let go of Y/n, his hands shaking as he tried to stop the bleeding, mind racing with fear and desperation. He had faced countless dangers as Iron Man, but nothing compared to the fear he felt at the thought of losing his son. 

Finally, the Quinjet landed on the rooftop helipad of Metro-General Hospital, and Steve and Bruce rushed out, carrying Y/n on a stretcher. Tony was right beside him, keeping his hands clasped in Y/n’s. 

"We need a doctor, now!" Tony shouted as they burst through the hospital doors.

Immediately, a group of two doctors and two nurses came over, taking over Y/n's care and wheeling him away. And Tony was beside them, still holding his hand.

"What happened?" One of them asked.

"Some idiot shot him," Tony explained. 

The medical team wheeled Y/n into the operating room fast. The female nurse commented how Y/n had a weak pulse rate as the group of medical specialists lifted him onto the bed. Tony held onto his hands, tears welling up in his eyes. 

The male doctor assessed the situation, noticing a smaller entry wound in Y/n’s upper right back and a larger exit wound in his abdomen. "Lungs failing," he said, his voice steady but grave. "Start an I.V. — two units of O, stat." The female nurse hurried off to fulfill the order. The female doctor asked for adrenalin, and the male nurse rushed to comply with the request.

Tony stood by his son's side, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched the doctor's work. He couldn't remember a time he prayed, but he found himself silently pleading with any higher power that might be listening to spare his son's life. "Hang in there, son," he whispered.

Y/n struggled to speak, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t think I’ll make it."

The billionaire's heart broke a little more. "Don't you dare die on me." Tony's voice was borderline pleading, begging for his son not to leave him. He has to survive.

But as the doctors worked frantically to save Y/n's life, his condition continued to deteriorate, his grip on Tony's hand weakening. "Dad," Y/n whispered, his voice barely audible. "I'm so cold."

Hearing this, Tony couldn't hold back his tears, which fell onto his son's hand. "I-I-I can't feel my legs," he continued, making Tony feel an enormous sense of dread and despair. He wanted to leave, unable to continue witnessing his greatest fear unfolding before his eyes. However, Y/n gripped Tony's hand tightly. "D-Don't go." Their eyes met, and Y/n let out a gasp before managing to utter three words.

"I love you."

The heart monitor's steady beep began to slow, then faltered, finally falling silent as Y/n slipped into full arrest. Tony cried out, "Oh god." His hand clamped over his mouth as he watched his son flatlined.

"Full arrest. Paddles!" The male doctor shouted, and the female doctor brought over the paddle machine. Tony stepped back as he witnessed the scene unfold. The lady squirted gel on a paddle, and the male rubbed them together. "Clear!" He yelled and used the paddles on Y/n. 

But it didn't work.

"Recharge," he barked, and she obeyed. "Clear!" He used the paddles once again.

Still, Y/n’s heart did not respond and the heart monitor remained silent. His grip fully weakened in Tony’s hand, and his eyes remained unmoving. Sadly, it was officially. Y/n, son of the billionaire, was dead. The male doctor looked at Tony with a mix of sympathy and sadness.

"I’m so sorry," the male doctor voiced. 

And, just like that, Tony Stark broke. 

He leaned over Y/n, his body heavy with grief, tears streaming down his face as he clutched his son's lifeless hand. The pain in his chest was unbearable as if his own heart had stopped beating. He couldn't believe his only child was gone.

Now, he would never witness his son's college graduation, celebrate another birthday, see him walk down the aisle, or become a dad himself. Y/n was gone, and Tony would never see his son again.

And Tony felt like he had died too.

His sobs echoed through the hospital room, a sound so full of anger and pain that it seemed to pierce the very air. The doctors and nurses quietly left the room, deciding to let the genius grieve alone.

"Y/n," he choked out, his voice breaking on his son's name. "Please... come back. I can't… I can't live life without you here."

But he knew that his son wasn't coming back, no matter how much he'd beg for it. That thought was unimaginable, a nightmare from which he couldn't wake.

He had failed his son, failed to keep him safe, and now, Tony was forced to face a world without the h/c haired male in it. 

It was bad enough that the genius had been such a shitty dad to choose Peter over Y/n, but now he wouldn’t be able to show Y/n that he was fully committed to changing, to being the dad Y/n deserved.

That made his sobs grow louder.

The Avengers entered the room, their faces etched with sorrow. Each of them had faced countless battles, but nothing could have prepared them for the pain of watching one of their own lose a child.

Steve placed a hand on Tony's shoulder, a silent gesture of comfort for his friend. He knew that no words could ease the pain of such a loss, but he hoped that his presence would offer some solace. He took a moment to say a silent prayer for the man who was like a son to him.

Natasha's stoic expression cracked, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She had seen death countless times in her work, but this — this was different. This was one of their own, a part of their family.

Sam also couldn't hold back his tears. His vision blurred, and he wiped them away, not wanting to add to Tony's pain. But the pain was there, a dull ache in his chest that echoed the grief of his friend.

Clint had to look away, his jaw clenched. He had lost people before, but this was different. This was a young man, full of life, who left this cruel world too soon.

Bruce stood with his hands clasped in front of him. His eyes were downcast, but there was a hint of green in his eyes. He couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child, especially someone so wonderful. 

Peter was the most visibly shaken and he felt somewhat responsible. If he had been more aware of his surroundings and saw the hidden shooter, then Y/n wouldn't have taken the bullet for him.

Tony's fingers trembled as he closed Y/n's eyes. "I’m sorry, son," his voice was a broken whisper. "I love you so, so much."

For Y/n, the light had gone out. For Tony, the darkness has never felt so complete.

XXXXX XXXXX

[howtofightwrite]

Was reading through your torture tag and noticed a lot of stuff that was being said seemed to contradict things that were said on the scripttorture blog... do you have any suggestions on how to clear things up? Im not sure which things to trust

And you're asking us, because they've posted once in the last two years?

I'll admit, I have a fairly low opinion of them, and that's not directly their fault. For years, one of their fans, would regularly send some pretty incendiary asks our way. In fact, some of the less hostile ones were answered, and may be the posts you were looking at. Understandably, the ones simply accusing us of being torture apologists, demanding we redirect all our asks to their blog, or insisted that we should sit down and shut up, did not make the cut. With that in mind, please understand, I'm not going to go digging through their blog to refresh my memory, so some of this might be slightly skewed by the aforementioned deranged fan.

Look for the blog that does not constantly contradict or misrepresent their authoritative sources. Which is to say, if you actually pay attention to Shane O'Mara's work, it's basically what we've been saying all along.

If you're unfamiliar, O'Mara is a Neurologist who was (last I time I checked) working at Trinity College Dublin. He published a, frankly fascinating piece, called, Why Torture Doesn't Work, in which, he set about trying to answer why torture is an ineffective tool for intelligence gathering. O'Mara also had the misfortune of being the only expert who said anything close to the perspective Scripttorture wanted on torture.

An open secret about torture is that it is completely worthless for getting accurate information. This has been widely understood for centuries, if not millennia. O'Mara's question was, “why?”

It turns out, that the neurochemical trauma associated with torture, seriously interferes with your ability to accurately access information. For example: If you're being tortured, you can't tell your torturer where you planted the ticking bomb, because your brain literally can't access those memories.

Torture is evil. Yeah. No shit.

And, this is where ScriptTorture stops. “Torture is bad,” and Jack Bauer is an incredibly unrealistic fantasy, end of story.

Except, this is not the end of this.

Now, generally speaking, I don't blame anyone who wants to get off the ride here. Torture is an unpleasant subject, and wanting to stop at, “oh, it's evil,” is entirely reasonable... unless you want to write on the subject, or if you do political analysis and need to understand why people break out the torture implements.

More than that, this is where my academic background in political science actually comes into play. I'm not saying this as an Eagle Scout who had a couple overly enthusiastic hand to hand instructors when I was a kid. This is (part of) what I studied in college, and I have kept an eye on it since then.

If torture didn't work, you wouldn't see state-sponsored torture pop up repeatedly throughout history. It would not be one of the favorite tools of dictators and despots. However, because it does, and it is, simply saying, “it doesn't work,” isn't instructive or meaningful because it's clearly untrue. Someone is finding value in this, so it becomes important to understand what they are doing, and why they are doing it.

When you torture someone, the information they provide is basically madlibs of whatever leaked through their brain. They want the pain and stress to stop, and they'll say anything they can to make that happen. That often takes the form of what they think their torturer wants to hear. O'Mara's research does explain why they don't simply cough up the truth.

So, why do it?

Torture is a very labor intensive process. You (as an individual) can't, realistically, torture multiple victims at a time, and it is a very drawn out process. Some elements can be automated, your torturer doesn't need to be present at every moment, but they're going to spend hours, if not days, working on one victim. Worse, this is actually a technical profession. It's not like you can just pull in anyone off the street and get the results you want. (Though, technically, this doesn't seem to be as true, however, amateurs do have a shocking capacity to screw up torture. So, the point remains valid.)

The value of torture has almost nothing to do with the victim. It's about the message it sends to everyone else.

Torture is about mass coercion of the population. When you are the state (meaning, the government), and you torture someone, you are telling your citizens that you are willing to do the same to them, if they oppose you.

State-sponsored torture is specifically a tool to suppress political engagement. It is, quite literally, state-sponsored, domestic terrorism.

This even holds true in cases where the state employs torture to extract confessions from criminal suspects. The message sent into the general population is that dissent of any kind will not be tolerated, and that the state has the willingness and power to turn these tools on you if you draw their ire.

I get that this is outside of ScriptTorture's area of expertise, and in fairness, I probably would not have studied this with any intensity, if I hadn't taken multiple classes on revolutionary theory.

Torture from private organizations (which is to say, organized crime, and religious institutions, though cults and some other groups might fit this description as well), follows roughly similar patterns. These tend to do the same things, discouraging dissent, and establishing the organization as having power over the population (or community.) (The technical term would be to “establish capacity.” Which is to say, the organization's capacity to enforce its will. The same term applies to states, though in those cases, the state's capacity is often overestimated by its population. It's only when it starts to falter, for example through military defeats or serious civil unrest, that they really need the capacity boosting part of this equation.)

Zealotry or stupidity can create situations where you have a torturer (or, more likely, someone in a position of power ordering the torture) who believes that it is effectively compelling the truth from the victim. This (or amateurs) can easily lead into a distinct problem, which is that all of this has diminishing returns. Torture one person, and you send a loud, clear message. Torture ten, and all you've added to it is that you're willing to keep going. However, as you start stacking up the victims, you do start sending a new message to your enemies, that being, you're going to get to them sooner or later so it's in their best interest to respond now, mobilize and retaliate proactively, before you get to them. This means that a state which leans heavily on torture can easily instigate the civil unrest that exposes their limited capacity leading to a political death spiral. Alternately, if the state does have the capacity to put down the resulting unrest, it further reinforces their position (which does happen with depressing frequency in the real world.)

You're also going to create new enemies in the friends, family, and loved ones, of the people you tortured. This means that any organization that relies on extensive use of torture will, eventually, start tying a noose around its own neck. (Granted, there are a lot of social dynamics that I'm skimming over here, so it's not exactly as simple as “if the state tortures lots of people, it will result in increasing unrest.”)

If you want a partial citation for the above, you can (ironically) find it in a podcast interview with Shane O'Mara, when he explained why torture has been employed repeatedly through history. (Specifically I think it was episode 15 of Your Welcome, by Michael Malice. Though, I'm not 100% sure off hand.) Though that doesn't cover some of the more in depth elements I just discussed. Some of this is coming from a textbook on revolutionary theory I can't locate (it disappeared in a move a few years back.) Though that was more interested in the general structure of a state destabilizing into internecine conflict. Ironically, my preferred citation on torture, Fear up Harsh by Tony Lagouranis is mostly uninformative in this case, because his experiences were on the ground, rather than from a structural understanding of what his job was really doing. However, he does illustrate my comment about amateurs making even more of a mess, both through personal experiences with a few, and also through the eventual trajectory of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

But of course, torture is evil... again, no shit. Was that really a question? And, I'm apparently a torture apologist for having a structural understanding of why evil people do evil things. Cool. Evil people don't do evil things because they're evil, they do them because they gain some tangible benefit from those acts, and they do not care about the consequences to anyone else. If you ask someone, “why do people do this?” and their answer is, “it's simple; they're evil,” that person is lying. They may be lying to themselves, but they are lying to you.

Why do people use torture? It's a lot more complicated, and unpleasant, than you'd expect at a simple overview.

-Starke

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[writingwithcolor]

Running Commentary: What is “ok to do” in Mixed-Culture Supernatural Fiction?

Dear readers: 

Today we are trying something new. To give you some insight into our process in the Japanese moderator section, we are presenting our response in the form of running commentary to show you how we dissect and answer long asks. We hope this makes clear what points are useful and not useful when sending us a query. As always, this is for learning purposes, not callouts. Be prepared: this is a long one. 

To summarize: the asker is looking to create a comic drawn in Japanese manga style, and has provided a long summary of the story and worldbuilding which involves a mix of “reimagined” Japanese yokai mythos and cultural symbols from many other sources. They have questions with respect to cultural appropriation, coding etiquette, and “what is and isn’t ok.” 

Opening Comments

I know a common advice when it comes to the thing I am about to ask is to talk to people involved in __, but I struggle with opening up to strangers for reasons I'm uncomfortable explaining. 

Marika (M): This is already a red flag. If you want to engage with another culture without talking to people from that culture, then research is going to be very challenging. You won’t have members of that culture to guide you towards sources and perspectives they feel most accurately represents public opinion. If I were in your shoes, I might start with tackling my discomfort when engaging with other people, if only to improve my work. If you aren’t ready to engage with a culture and its people directly, then I think you should wait until you are. 

I should note, reaching out to the Japanese mod team at WWC does count as engagement, but WWC should not and cannot be the only point of contact because there is no single, legitimate cultural perspective. 

Rina (R): Also, you don’t need to “open up” to strangers or talk to them in person to get perspectives. Asking specific research questions anonymously to a forum or on social media requires very little vulnerability. You managed to do it here on WWC. So give it a try! 

Anyway, my question basically amounts to the what is and isn't ok [sic] in terms of depicting fantasy creatures and concepts outside of their respective culture.

R: So, the reason why we turn away rubber stamp questions by that ask “is XYZ okay?” is because “okay” & “not okay” 1) is vague and 2) creates a dichotomy where there isn’t one. 

When we say something is “not okay,” do we mean:

It’s offensive to the general majority of XYZ group? 

It’s contentious among people who ID in the group? 

It has a potential to be interpreted in a certain negative way, but may not be a red flag to everyone?

Insetad try asking:

What are the reasons this subject is offensive? 

What makes cultural appropriation bad? 

When might it be “okay” to intentionally discuss a difficult or controversial topic?

What is your reason for including something that may be interpreted as offensive and can it be sufficiently justified? 

What stereotypes or tropes might it be consistently identified as or associated with, and why? 

When might it be justified to bring up these tropes?

With That In Mind...

Let’s get into the rest of the ask below. 

…a story I've been working on in recent times is largely inspired off the Japanese yokai, and the setting is basically Earth in the far future, as far as when the next supercontinent may form. These yokai, although portrayed differently here, do retain their main characteristics [...] Included in this world are two goddesses of my own creation, primarily representing the sun and the moon. [...] There will be thirteen nations, named and based after the Chinese Zodiac, and the life force found in the living things in this world, called qi, comes in two forms that are always opposing each other but can never fully overpower the other, this being based off yin and yang. They're even directly named this; yin qi and yang qi.

M: This reads more like using Japanese and Chinese culture for the “aesthetics”, not the cultures themselves, which I personally feel falls under cultural appropriation. From a world-building/ coding standpoint, the actual use of concepts is workable, and, dare I say, typical, given how Chinese cosmology influences Japanese culture. However, naming a concept “yin qi” or ���yang qi” is the equivalent of naming something “- charge” or “+ charge”, respectively. That you don’t seem aware of this tells me you are pretty early in your research phase. In that vein, we’ve covered translating terms and names from foreign languages in fantasy before. See the following article linked here for our recommendation against using RL terms outright but instead encouraging people to create their own conlangs. 

R: Worldbuilding-wise, I think you would have to figure out the chicken-or-egg of the zodiac nations. Did the nations come first, and the zodiac later as an origin folk story (which you would have to rewrite to serve the nation-building narrative)? Did the zodiac come first, and the nations named (most likely re-named) by a political entity? What is the justification? Otherwise, again, it’s a shoehorning of aesthetics. 

There is also a third, lesser known god based off of fox spirits and trickery and I imagined he's the patron deity of a family that honors and worships him, but his influence on them has transformed them into Kitsune-tsuki, which I depict as fox-like anthros. 

M: Not related to this ask directly, but I have jokingly ranted about how often non-Japanese people prefer using imagery related to kitsune-tsuki in Japanese coded world-building (link). This makes me feel the same level of petty irritation. See my troll answer below for a similar experience.

R: Same. It’s boring tbh. 

M: Troll Answer: I get that kitsune-tsuki are very sexy furries, but Japanese folklore has other sexy furries too! These underrepresented demographics also deserve recognition and appreciation!!

The plot of the story is this; modernization has left the goddesses neglected of their worship and forgotten, something that is necessary in this world to stop them from fighting each other. The Moon Goddess awakens first, punishing the humans by unleashing the yokai. Then the Sun Goddess wakes up to fight in humanity's defense…

M: This could feel rather like Shinto-like coding (Ex. the myth of Amaterasu and the Cave, or Tsukuyomi slaying Ukemochi), but something about this scenario feels a bit too binary in terms of themes of good v. evil, light v. dark to be Shinto. The plot also feels more Gaelic/ Nordic in influence for me as a person raised in a Japanese Buddhist and Hindu household. I imagine this dissonance could have been fixed with better guided research. 

…but their fighting has caused a perma-eclipse and this world is in danger of ending. The yokai have run rampant; some are loyal to the Moon Goddess, and some aren't, and it lies to the main characters to bring balance back to Midgard. Yeah... the name of this future Earth is Midgard. I debate changing it since it and some other things I will mention sorta feel out of place.

R: Marika, looks like you were right on the Gaelic/Nordic influence /j 

Also, worldbuilding question: if the Earth is in the far geologic future, how long has it been since modernization (19th-20th century)? Centuries? Millennia? How long has this fighting gone on for? What triggered the perma-eclipse, and why now? Why is this time depth necessary? 

One of the main characters in question is a humanoid woman with wolf features named Ling, and she is a descendant of the dynasty that had first ruled the one of the nations, particularly the one based off the dragon zodiac. She accidentally summons the other main character to this world as she's praying at a shrine, a humanoid with dragon features--I call them drakon--named Angelynn.

[on the names of characters] is it appropriating by not having the world entirely based on [Chinese, Japanese, and Indian] influence? it's a little weird to me how worldwide the creatures are referred to as yokai, implying a strong Japanese influence not unlike how it is today with Western culture being so dominant, yet there are still names like Keith and Kiara.

M: I will give you credit for recognizing you have unconsciously veered towards white-washing/ race-bending: either presenting European cultural influences (drakons, Angelynn, Keith, Kiara, Midgard) as default or utilizing general E. Asian cultural influences and aesthetics for a Western-style story (Ling, qi, Chinese zodiac, yokai). I agree with you that this creates a sense of cultural dissonance. At this point, I’d say you have a clear choice: write a Western-style high fantasy using a background with which you have more familiarity, or get some better guidance on research with East Asian cultures so you can code the story more effectively. 

The focus of this story is centered around meeting all these yokai and showing that there's more nuance to them than Ling believes, all while saving the world. But I worry if I'm appropriating these concepts and creatures by 1, drawing from more than one culture--I initially imagined that there would be a mix of Chinese, Japanese and Indian influence because according to a website I am getting the info on yokai from, the yokai in question already draw inspiration from or have been based on something in Chinese mythology or Hinduism [...]

R: Sure, some yokai have Chinese or Hindu parallels as that tends to happen with folk tales. But not all–some are unique to Japan, and some are more modern. Sometimes it’s very political–some people consider the Ainu Korpokkur as being a “Yokai of Japan” despite it belonging to the indigenous culture. It’s up to you to research, untangle, and understand these influences. 

The fact that you bring up that the Asian continent has seen a lot of cultural exchange is not a sufficient reason to randomly combine influences for the sake of visual appeal or “coolness.” That is appropriation. These influences must be understood in their historical context so that you know how/why certain things combined or morphed into another, and what makes sense to combine/morph. 

M: This also indicates that the character views the yokai as evil/inherently bad, which I would argue is not a typical stance for much Japanese folklore. Again, this shows a deficit in research. 

2, reimagining these yokai in a new context even though I have done the research on them, because one thing I kept seeing in regards to cultural appropriation is that it's bad to do that […]

R: Refer above to my note on “okay” and “not okay.” The thing with folklore and fairy tales is that every–and I mean every–folk tale is reinterpreted with every new iteration of it. Reimagining in a new context is what people do every time they pass on a story or tell a story with the same plot or characters. Do not think of folklore as an “original” that is altered and rebooted, but rather a living document that gets added to. Reimagining is not the inherent issue. HOW you reimagine something matters. 

So I suppose my question is...if someone were to do research upon the creature they want to use, given they are allowed to use it, and gained an understanding of what the creature or concept stood for, are they allowed to pick it apart and reimagine it? Alternatively, is it ok if it's explicitly pointed out that it is derivative of the original?

It has actually become my biggest fear that I may have internalized something that could both continue to do harm long after the fact and attract the wrong people to me work. I don't wanna let people down!

M: As Rina has noted several times, I think the problem is in trying to ID a set of specific variables and circumstances that make a thing “okay” or “not okay.” I want to recommend that you read my joking response about writing in secret rooms while wearing a disguise (Linked here). Who can you hurt if no one knows what you are doing? There’s a difference between creating for oneself and creating to share. 

You have internalized a message incorrectly, but not the one you cite. The goal of many recommendations against cultural appropriation is to avoid causing direct harm to people who have seen their cultures demeaned, discredited and devalued, especially in shared spaces. Assessing cultural engagement, whether we are talking about appropriation, appreciation or exchange is not a measure of personal virtue or a collection of commandment style do’s and don’t’s. Rather, I believe engaging with other cultures is the state of mind of acknowledging that when using these cultures’ in one’s own work, there is value in consulting members of that culture and giving credit where credit is due. This will be challenging if you are only comfortable engaging with all of these cultures in a distanced, minimal capacity. 

FWIW, I’ve written stories that probably will offend people from other cultures and backgrounds, but I don’t show them off. I don’t think writing these makes me a bad person, but I also don’t see the need to give unnecessary offense, so those stories are just for me, to be written and read in my own secret room. However, I’m not ashamed of having written them, and I’m also comfortable to “let people down” provided that my own shared work reflects my personal principles of what I consider to be sufficient research and engagement with other cultures,  As a creator, my work wouldn’t be mine if I didn’t first please myself. I think the trick to the creator role is deciding what to keep private, what to share and what constitutes sufficient engagement. 

P.S. 

We’ve referenced the need for research multiple times in this ask, and in some of the other asks that have gone up this week, so we thought this would be a good place to plug a beginner’s guide to academic research created by the mod team.. Look for it soon under WWC’s pinned posts!

[nobie]

Neil Gaiman.

I want to say a few things from a journalist perspective. I'm a journalist myself, I needed to get as much information as I could about this news with as much objectivity as I can have.

Tortoise is a UK based media group. They do a lot of multi media investigative reporting (not traditional mmj though more like scripted podcasts, regular podcasts, videos etc.). Their motto, I guess you could call it, is “Get the news not when it happens, but when it’s ready.”

It’s a fine model from a business standpoint, but in the journalism industry, being fast and accurate is what most news organizations strive for. But never hit the mark to be honest. Heavy on the accuracy part. Tortoise is comparable in America to NPR, but NPR is on a far larger scale since Tortoise is still new, being founded in 2019.

The SA allegations became a story from the ground up. There was nothing said about it before yesterday because this story came directly from the women he allegedly assaulted. I know using the word "allegedly" seems like a cheap shot, but it has to be used because none of it has been confirmed by Gaiman. Only that he did in fact have relationships with these two women. But the SA allegations continue to be denied. The reporters and producers at Tortoise media have written an article and created a full four part podcast. They detailed their stories from both women, spoke about SA misconceptions, and gave background on Gaiman and his relationships (relationships meaning sexual and non con acts happening with them so be aware of that).

The podcast, I'm not entirely fond of because a sensitive subject should not be made into a form of "entertainment." But it did give me more information and different perspective on the story. And from the way this podcast is produced you can tell this story was not investigated lightly. It is a bit distasteful, but it has been done before. This is a full production mind you with a beginning, middle, and end. Plus sound effects and dramatic music, so thats why I say I'm not really fond of the idea. Just reporting the entire story with quotes from the victims would've been enough. I can only hope the reporter and producer did their job ethically as to fully understood the allegations and weight of the subject. (They do mention that in the podcast as well, but as a journalist all I do is ask questions so I def had questions.)

Now this goes without saying, but there should never be any doubt that SA is unjustified and horrifying. And one should never disregard the feelings of the victims. Saying anything like "well they shouldn't have put themselves in that situation," is what I mean by disregard. Why would anyone put themselves in that situation?

That line of thinking is why SA is one the biggest ethical topics in media. Should it be reported? Should it not? How do we go about reporting such a sensitive subject objectively? Do we name the victims? Do we name our sources? Have we considered all of the code of ethics in our reporting? What about our personal values?

Journalism code of ethics: Minimizing harm, seek the truth, act independently, take accountability and be transparent. This might be the first time you're seeing these and I know historically it feels like none of this is considered, but I always consider them.

It’s been a battle of my own personal values to have to report events like this with no bias, but it’s necessary for accuracy and integrity in my reporting.

Ethically, as a journalist, I can't choose sides I need to look at it from all sides. But personally, as a human, I can't condone these actions. Nor will I ever condone it. All kinds of things are being said about this news, and everyone is allowed their own opinion. I only wanted to put my perspective out there because it should be another side of the story to understand, considering this came from Tortoise investigating the allegations.

Here is the article and other news sites that have talked about the story from Tortoise. Also gonna link SPJ code of ethics in case you want to read through them.

Tortoise

The allegations against Neil Gaiman (ep.1 on spotify but you can listen anywhere they have podcasts)

The Telegraph

Daily Mail

The Rolling Stones

SPJ Code of Ethics

Also to the Good Omens fandom, I know this is tough news, but you are allowed to still enjoy Good Omens. I know the guilt/shame of enjoying things that are against your morals, but be kind to yourself.

none of this edited so i apologize for any mistakes.

[twopoppies]

To piggyback off your journalist anon…as a current journalist of more than 10 years, I have to call BS. Maybe that’s how things are in the entertainment journalism space, but it’s patently false elsewhere. To write without a basis in truth would be a violation of ethics. In fact, it’s on us to prove that we have enough backing to say what we say. That’s the point of attributions. And when you don’t have attributions, you better be confident that what you’re putting down isn’t going to get you sued and that you have some kind of proof, whether that’s notes, pictures, data, etc. It’s encouraged of journalists to save their interview tapes in the face of any potential accusation that what was written was not said. It’s dangerous to suggest a true journalist would make things up just for the hell of it, especially in the current climate.

Now you will see outlets aggregate quotes from different sources and paste them together indiscriminately. But most of the time the outlets doing that are not the ones tasked with actually reporting the truth and keeping the citizenry informed of what’s going on in the world. As always, check your sources!

That said, as a journalist, you have to be wary of your subjects and their motives. They don’t always have the best intentions, or they may not always be able to share whole truths. That’s the distinction we need to be clear about. As a journalist, it’s important to note that a subject actually said something, because that’s our way of putting the onus on the subject to represent themselves accurately. We report on what’s been said to us. We do all the research we can to ensure we’re not hoodwinking our audience. And then we publish.

And yes it’s true we don’t give any PR machines prior approval of articles. That would be a breach of our journalistic integrity. Our job is to report, not be hand-fed information from someone whose job it is to put a positive spin on things.

Hi, darling. Thank you so much for this. My impression from the previous anon was that they were talking about gossip and entertainment media (like People magazine or the Sun. Maybe even an outlet like Rolling Stone). But I would hope a journalist reporting on more important topics is doing the sort of things you say.

What I’ve heard from others is that there’s a fine line in celebrity reporting where a journalist wants to tell the truth as they see it, but (as you said) the subject may not be telling the whole truth, or they are concerned about no longer having access to the artist or others under the same label if they don’t follow the “suggested narrative.”

I suppose there’s a little give and take either way.

But I really appreciate your perspective! And thank you for the lovely compliment. I’m touched you check in here to catch up. 🩷

In reference to this

[oneatlatime]

More Zuko Alone Thoughts

Last season our expository Zuko episode was The Storm, an episode which I loved. It was both a well-written and well-animated piece of media, and enthralling to watch. I don't want to say enjoyable because of the subject matter discussed, but it was certainly good.

This season's expository Zuko episode was Zuko Alone, and I didn't like it. Although it was animated fantastically, I found the characterisation of Zuko in the present day sections to be completely off. I found it embarrassing, awkward, and frustrating to watch. Now, I've seen the rating this episode has on IMDb, so I know this is just my opinion, and a fairly unpopular one at that. I'm also aware that I'm biased because Zuko is not my favourite character. But I want to explore why, in my opinion, The Storm stuck the landing while Zuko Alone flubbed it.

Here's what I think is the main reason: The Storm is Aang's story about his past, juxtaposed with Iroh's story about Zuko's past. Aang and Iroh are our storytellers; Aang and Zuko are the stories being told.

Zuko Alone is Zuko's story of the present, being experienced through Zuko's perspective, juxtaposed with Zuko's story in the past, being experienced through Zuko's memories. It's too much Zuko, and unlike the characters in The Storm, Zuko has no idea what's going on.

Despite his flightiness and inability to take things seriously, Aang is perceptive, socially and emotionally intelligent (as much as a 12 year old can be), and able to be subtle when the situation calls for it. Look at The Great Divide: as soon as he had the appropriate backstory info, he saw right to the heart of the conflict, he saw that it was stupid as Hell, and he saw and successfully executed a way to fix it that relied entirely on an accurate assessment of all involved parties' stances. And it worked.

Iroh has easily the highest perception stat in the whole show, when he isn't being deliberately obtuse. His wisdom is off the charts, if his one liners are anything to go by.

So despite some very (very) notable differences, Aang and Iroh have similarities in their personalities and their perspectives, and importantly for this post, in their self-knowledge.

Then we get Zuko, who has the perceptiveness and subtlety of a mud brick to the teeth, all the wisdom of a bandaid wrapper, and the social and emotional intelligence of something that starts to grow in your sink when it's been too long since you did the dishes.

Aand and Iroh can see the themes, lessons, mistakes, and places for improvement in the stories they're telling, about themselves and others. Zuko is stumbling through both his past and his present. The Storm is compelling because the audience gets to simultaneously learn expository detail and watch Aang and Iroh go through a process of self-analysis, recrimination, and commitment to doing better. It's an info dump with a hefty dose of character building on the side.

Zuko in Zuko Alone is a dumbass blindly stumbling into the same mistakes we've already seen him make, learning nothing in the process (that I could detect - maybe he'll run into the family's older brother in a few episodes and work up the courage to save him based on what he learned during his time with that family, who knows). Zuko has been trained to be a fighter, not a person, so of course he's going to fail at the 'soft skills' parts of being human. So Zuko needs someone with him to do/model that soft skills work until he learns how to do it for himself. But Zuko is alone in Zuko Alone, so the character development that could have happened doesn't.

I don't need morals and themes explicitly spelled out in the narrative; I'm fine with subtext. But Zuko in Zuko Alone so thoroughly misses what's going on in the episode that it's annoying to watch. And there's no indication at the end of the episode that he's learned anything from having missed those things. There's no indication that he's aware that there was anything to miss.

In The Storm, Aang has Katara to bounce off of and help talk him through his story. Iroh's wise enough not to need a foil, but he does have the ship's crew, both as a reason to tell the story and as an audience to play off of. Heck, in Bato of the Water Tribe, Sokka has Bato giving the speech about the lonely wolf to help him understand the point Sokka's dad was trying to make in the flashback, and avoid the wrong course of action (leaving Aang behind). Aang moves on from self-recrimination and Iroh has won back Zuko's crew's loyalty at the end of The Storm; Sokka has finally understood 'being a man means being where you're needed the most' by the end of Bato of the Water Tribe. But Zuko is alone by choice in Zuko Alone, so he finishes the episode exactly where he started, his mother's last words entirely misinterpreted. No wiser, probably unable to even articulate where he went wrong beyond fire = bad in this context.

There seems to be a theme in this show of the necessity of friends and family networks and support. Aang (with Katara's help), Iroh (with the crew as audience and motivator), Sokka (with Bato's help), all come to better understandings of their responsibilities and/or their mistakes by working things out with the help of at least one other person. Zuko ditches Iroh to play at being a lone wolf and fails in a way that's frankly embarrassing to watch.

So the reason I don't like Zuko Alone is that he's doomed to fail from the start. Zuko is (trying to) go about his character development in a way this show has already showed us is opposite to how it should be done. I'm not fond of 'doomed from the start' narratives as a general rule, mostly because to me they feel like a bad investment. If you know it's all going to end badly (because it started wrong), then why bother committing the time and effort the narrative asks of you? (She says, having read The Silmarillion twice).

So if I became Queen of the world tomorrow and decreed that Zuko Alone needed to be changed to fit my personal tastes, how would I do it? The obvious answer is to shove Iroh in there, but it probably wouldn't work anyway, because Zuko is not showing any signs of being ready to listen - REALLY LISTEN - to those wiser than him. I'm not sure if he's even ready to admit yet that there are people who ARE wiser than him. He's already admitted that there are people with more martial prowess than him, like his sister, but I don't think Zuko actually values wisdom enough to see its worth. So it's probably not even on his radar. If Iroh's presence wouldn't work, what about having a removed narrator, like Iroh did for Zuko's story in The Storm? A narrator who is not as thoroughly blind to what's going on in the past and the present as Zuko. Maybe a single episode character, who tells the story of that time a stranger came to town? That might work. It would fit with the genre this episode is paying homage to. Or you could have an interesting juxtaposition, where the narrator character is not omniscient, narrating the present only, and Zuko is completely alone during the flashback bits. That would probably lead to Zuko making the same mistakes anyway, since it's really his past that he needs to work through.

Or maybe I'm reading way too much into this and I just don't like Zuko enough as a character to like a Zuko-centric story, no matter how it's told. Or maybe 24 minutes of second-hand embarrassment is 24 too many for me. At least he's keeping Song's horse bird fed.

[your-average-genshin-enjoyer]

Hello! ���

Can I request the Detective Conan fluffy headcanons about Fluff relationship with their shy!female!reader for Shinichi Kudo, Kaito Kuroba/Kaito Kid and Heiji Hattori (separately)? Hint#1: She knows Conan is Shinichi Kudo. Hint#2: She knows Kaito Kid is Kaito Kuroba and she helps him in Kaito Kid situations. Please??

- D c m k boys headcanons

with Shy!Fem!reader -

CHARACTERS: Kudo Shinichi, Hattori Heiji and Kuroba Kaito x reader (separately)

WARNINGS: May be OOC(out of character), can be sort of off topic, could have a little spoilers for Detective Conan/Magic Kaito.

A/n: Sorry if this was not really that good TvT I never really written headcanons in the past so this is sort of my first attempt at it, also I might've write shy in a not really accurate way so, sorry if I do write it like that qwq

- S h i n i c h i K u d o -

- He sometimes was the one who do the talking for you if you two we're in public, he knows you talk just fine, but he'll do it when he sees/figure out you we're not feeling like talking at the moment, whether as Conan or Shinichi.

- He likes it when you hold his hand/sleeve when you're nervous, since in his perspective, it shows that you trust him enough to come to him for reassurance. But if he's in Conan form, most of the time he's the one who initiate the hand holding first, bcs of the height difference you two have. And also bcs sometimes you're too shy to ask if you can hold his hand.

- If he was back to Shinichi for a certain time, and he was not busy at the moment, he wants to smother you with hugs and cuddles. But he'll be debating with himself on whether to do it or not since he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. Either way it always ends with you two snuggling up in his house, or reading a book together in his library, basking in each other's presence.

- When he knows what is your favorite subject, he'll bring that up almost any time so that he can see you rambling abt it. He loves how passionate and free you look when speaking abt it. When you realize you just rambled for a while to him, and you start spilling apologies after apologies, he'll sometime respond to it with something like

"Hey, it's fine relax. I already rambled about cases and Sherlock Holmes to you all the time, so we're even here."

-When you and Shinichi go out, and have an argument like how you kept insisting on paying the bill, he already knows how to win/end the argument right away. But he sometime stretch it up so that it'll go for a while, since he likes to see you all flustered, struggling to come up with an argument against his point.

- H e i j i H a t t o r i -

- Similar to Shinichi, Heiji will also do the talking for you. Though he will ask you if you want him to do the talking or not since he doesn't want to assume things.

- He knows Osaka like the back of his hand, and combined by the things he learn abt you overtime, he will be the perfect person to go to if you're bored. He knows your preferences on places, like how you prefer places that are less crowded, and he is more than happy to take you out to refresh with his motorcycle when he's free.

- When he has a Kendo tournament, he never forgets to ask you if you want to go see it. And if you agree to his idea, he will wave towards your direction if he wins the tournament, which sometime gets some people looking at your directions, making it a happy yet awkward situation.

- He buys you a matching hat like the one he wears, and whenever you get too embarrassed to face him, you have a habit of pulling the hat down to cover your face and spilling apologies to him. And bcs of this, he also has a habit of pulling the hat away, and then flicking your forehead(not too hard) while telling you something like

"You idiot, You've done nothing wrong here, so no need to be all embarrassed about it, okay?"

- This is pretty random, but I feel like if you we're being all blushy and flustered because of him, he'll also boop your nose or ruffle your hair to snap you out of your flustered trance, another reason he did it is because he just can't resist how adorable you're being.

- K a i t o K u r o b a -

- Will tease/flirt with you unpredictably, but won't go overboard with it. He just think it's adorable when you're caught off guard, all flustered and struggling to come up with an answer.

- He sometime does this thing where he shows you a magic trick, and when you're all impressed and flabbergasted, he revealed the trick behind it. The tricks he use are often pretty simple so he'll tease you by saying you're dumb for not figuring it out, so that he can see your little flushed face.

- If you do something out of your usual shy character in the relationship, like kissing him out of the blue, or hugging him without asking, he will say something like

"Oh? Is my dear Y/n chan started getting bolder recently?~"

And will never stop teasing you abt it for the whole day. But deep down, he's actually melting from how cute your attempts on giving him affection is.

- When you asked him if you can help with his Kaito Kid business, he won't allow you to help him when he's in action, since he doesn't want to drag you to danger. Usually you'll help with something less dangerous like preparing his costume and things behind the scenes, or taking care of him if he's injured.

- You two have a soft-serious moment when you we're tending to his wounds, you're worried for his condition and usually lightly scolds him for his reckless actions. But he always manage to remove the seriousness in the air by pecking you at the lips so that's you'll get flustered, or just messing with you in general.

[pigeon-smidge]

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

So for the past couple of months I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into an analysis masterpost of this playlist, a Crowley and Aziraphale playlist comprised purely of Taylor Swift songs. I had been curating this playlist for a little while over the latter half of last year, and around November or so I decided to write up an analysis for why I’ve included each song! Some are about a specific character, some about their relationship, and many are about both! Five-ish months and eighteen pages of analysis later, here we are. It’s been so awesome to combine probably my two biggest interests, and even if you’re not a swiftie, I encourage you to read some of this if you’d like to!! You might find some songs you really like the sound of. If you like it, please support :) I spent so long on this

The track list is as follows:

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Say Don’t Go

How You Get the Girl

You are in Love

Wildest Dreams

hoax

peace

mirrorball

Come Back … Be Here

The Very First Night

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The Archer

Death by a Thousand Cuts

Cruel Summer

tolerate it

champagne problems

ivy

Back to December

The Great War

Midnight Rain

Tied Together With A Smile

Don’t Blame Me

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

✩✩✩✩

Notes: song titles are in the same order as the track list. they're numbered and colour-coded by album (1989 and midnights share the same colour, as do folklore and rep because Tumblr has limited options) so it’s easier for people to find specific songs they want. They’re not in any particular meaningful order, just grouped by album. If you want to read specific song analysis, please scroll to that point, or open this post in its own window and do a page search (on mac it’s command+f , but I’m not sure about other operating systems.) Obligatory disclaimer that this is all my subjective analysis, both of Taylor’s songs and Crowley and Aziraphale’s characters. I am not making any assumptions about the creative intentions behind them, these are purely what they mean in my view. What I think is not necessarily what the creators intended. If you disagree with anything, that’s fine!! Just please don’t be rude about it. I’d love to hear what you have to say about it!! If you’ve got any thoughts or additions, please add them in a reply or reblog, and we can make it a discussion :D Check back in the future if you want, because I might be adding more depending on if I have some new ideas! ✩✩✩✩

Alright, with that stuff said, here we are!! Grab a snack and get cozy if you want, this is a long one. You can read as much or as little as you want!! I hope you enjoy :)

✦✩ Crowley & Aziraphale (Taylor’s Version) ✩✦

All You Had to Do Was Stay

Title is self-explanatory. However it fits both perspectives; Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay with him and to not leave for Heaven, and Aziraphale begging Crowley to stay with him. They both view the other as being opposed to their own plight because their failure to communicate leads to misunderstandings. Specifically the choruses are most relevant. The verses don’t really feel like they fit; they’re very, very angry and bitter, and describe a relationship that the narrator has pretty much moved on from (‘and people like me are gone forever when you say goodbye’ & ‘now you say you want it back, now that it’s just too late’ to name a few lyrics). I don’t think this is accurate to them as I don’t think they’re going to be able to move on in this way. I also don’t think they’re this angry with each other. The narrator, in the verses specifically, describes their partner in a very reductive way. ‘People like you [..]’ etc, is a very insulting way of talking. Not that either party isn’t upset with the other; I think they’re both very confused and hurt. But I don’t think they’re at the stage where they can be this vitriolic. Partially due to character reasons, and also because obviously the story isn’t going to end with them in the exact positions they’re in now (otherwise there wouldn’t be a third season and the show would be very unsatisfactory). They’re upset, but they’re resigned and bitter, as opposed to outwardly aggressive about the other. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘You were all I wanted, but not like this’ Because Crowley wants Aziraphale but only if they can stay the same, not both angels in Heaven.  ‘Had me in the palm of your hand, why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?’ Because Crowley poured his heart out and from his perspective Aziraphale didn’t think him enough to leave Heaven behind for. 2. Say Don’t Go

This is THE Aziracrow song. I had a 1989 (Taylor’s Version) listening party with my friends and when this played I went WAIT … especially the second verse and the bridge. The entire song is about begging someone to say that they want you to stay. Even though they both did tell the other they wanted to stay together, neither of them actually realised that’s what they were saying. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘Cause you kiss me and it stops time, and I’m yours, but you’re not mine.’ The first half of the sentence being from Aziraphale’s perspective in reference to the kiss, and the second from Crowley’s, in reference to how Crowley’s much more accepting of his romantic feelings. 

‘I’m standing on the sidewalk, alone. I wait for you to drive by. I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show.’ Because of those shots in the Final Fifteen with both of them ‘standing on the sidewalk’ watching each other from opposite sides of the road. Also, any lyrics with references to cars or driving makes me think of these two. ‘Cards that you won’t show’ is very interesting lyric, because it’s a reference to Aziraphale’s love for human magic tricks, and also to their inability to actually properly express and explain their thoughts to each other. ‘I said ‘I love you’, you say nothing back.’ Crowley’s perspective. 3. How You Get the Girl

This song is about how to apologise to someone after breaking their heart … while the breakup was not entirely Aziraphale’s fault (they BOTH need to learn to communicate and properly confront their feelings), some of the lyrics do have some similarities to their relationship.

✦Notable lyrics: ‘That you were too afraid to tell her what you want.’ He was just scared about what his feelings for Crowley mean :( 4. You are in Love

The single happy song on this playlist. Honestly, it’s a song which isn’t that specific to them and I feel like it’s applicable to every ship ever; you know, the Love Song. However, there are some lyrics in this song that have some of their vibes. The whole song is about how love is constant and yet unable to be put into words or exactly understood, which perfectly describes them. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘He says ‘look up’, and your shoulders brush’ reminds me of someone telling someone else to look up at the stars !!! because Crowley made the stars and he was so happy about them :( and Aziraphale remembered that AHHHHHH

‘and why I’ve spent my whole life trying to put it into words’ it’s ineffable <3

5. Wildest Dreams This song is about falling in love with someone while knowing that it can never last.The relationship in this song is one that is magnetic and beautiful and messy, and the protagonist enters it while knowing it’s going to end but wanting to stay anyway. This describes their relationship perfectly. They both have a tendency to repress their feelings because they both feel like they can never be acted upon. Even them being friends is something that is constantly fraught with danger, something that they actively need to fight for if they want to keep it (See The Great War). To Aziraphale, indeed to both of them before their shared realisation of ‘this is possible’ because of Gabriel and Beelzebub’s confession, their relationship only ever existed in their ‘wildest dreams.’

✦Notable lyrics:

‘He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.” I thought, “Heaven can't help me now” Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down.’ All of Crowley’s invitations to run away; invitations that are always declined, even if Aziraphale wants so badly to go with him. There’s always a duty that pulls him away, something he feels he needs to fix before things can be how he wants them to be.

‘Nothing lasts forever’ HAHAHAHA … ‘I said, “No one has to know what we do.”’ A relationship that’s kept hidden. “He’s so tall, and handsome as hell. He’s so bad, but he does it so well.”Beauty and love that pulls you in, but feels wicked and frightening. See Cruel Summer.

6. hoax 

THE Crowley song. About loving someone who exposes your vulnerabilities; they feel like part of who you are, so they’re also your biggest weakness. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘Stood on the cliff side screaming ‘give me a reason’’ is very much ‘show me a Great Plan.’ ‘My best laid plan, your sleight of hand.’ References to magic!! Crowley prepared and tried to gain enough confidence to confess to Aziraphale and ask for them to run away together, but Aziraphale’s ‘sleight of hand’ and the Metatron’s influence messed with that. It looked like he was actually going to confess and they maybe had a chance, but then that all fell apart because he didn’t foresee any reason why Aziraphale would go back to Heaven . ‘You knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark. Darling, this was just as hard as when they pulled me apart.’ Aziraphale ‘abandoning’ him hurt him greatly, as it felt like such a core part of him was being torn away. This is akin to what Falling would likely have been like, obviously not the same, but in both instances his sense of normal, his identity, and everything that he held dear to him was destroyed.  

‘You know I left a part of me back in New York.’Crowley and Aziraphale can both never truly leave the other without leaving ‘a part’ of themselves behind, because they’re so intertwined in each other's existences. 

7. peace

Describes how they could never find peace with each other because ‘hereditary enemies’ etc etc etc. They can’t be safe together; for a long time they couldn’t even admit their friendship because it would mean danger. We can still see this in Aziraphale; he’s constantly afraid of doing the wrong thing when he should be a good angel.

8. mirrorball

THE Aziraphale song. Perhaps one of the most Aziraphale songs of all time I'm genuinely not joking or exaggerating it's SO GOOD. About a people pleaser who revolves their life around others. Their existence and value is determined by their role in relation to someone else and how well they serve said role. The image of a mirrorball, shining high above the dancefloor, providing light and a shiny jewel for everyone to look at, yet being all alone (that Taylor Swift described was the inspiration for the song), is very fitting. ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight.’ For so much of his life, Az’s purpose has been to serve Heaven. This lyric reflects that. His character growth throughout the show largely focuses on him coming to terms with their lies and abuse, and forming moral codes of his own.

‘You are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers, drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.’ ‘Masquerade revellers’ referring to the angels, watching Aziraphale ‘break in a million pieces’ to serve Heaven, without understanding that he has limits and he’s his own person.

‘Hush, when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you. Hush, I know they said the end is near. But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, love, shining just for you.’ Aziraphale only really acts himself when it’s just him and Crowley and they’re free of Heaven and Hell’s observing forces. Also ‘I know they said the end is near’ ; reference to Armageddon!! ‘I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why, I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try’ He’s trying to be good but his warped understanding of what good is hindering that. He has such a low self-esteem especially in regards to his own ‘goodness’, hence he tries so hard :( he’s just trying to do the right thing but he doesn’t realise what he believes to be right is far from it ahhhhhh

‘I’m still on that tightrope, still trying everything to keep you looking at me.’ Remember the ‘I’m standing on a tightrope, alone.’ Lyric from Say Don’t Go? He’s positioned above everyone else, on a completely different level to them, representing his isolation and unique status as really one of the only angels who’s simultaneously trying to do the right thing to help people while following the will of Heaven, things which often contradict each other.

9. Come Back …. Be Here

Long distance anthem!!!!! Them pining after each other after the s2 finale when they’re separated; it mostly feels like Crowley’s pov. 

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘taxi cabs and busy streets that never bring you back to me’ London is busy, but to Crowley, it feels empty because one of the things he loved the most is gone. ‘If I'd known what I know now, I never would have played so nonchalant.’ Because their own constant inability to confront their feelings and dancing around their relationship is what lead to their misunderstanding and then them being separated. If they had actually talked about things together, maybe they’d have a better understanding of their relationship and what the other wants.

10. The Very First Night.Nostalgia and looking back on what was. Very fitting for a show with immortal beings that features their histories together all throughout time. ‘I knew the angel you used to be.’ ‘The angel you knew is not me.’ ✦ Notable lyrics:

‘I wish I could fly, I’d pick you up and we’d go back in time, I’d write this in the sky, I miss you like it was the very first night.’ opening scene of season two, CROWLEY MADE THE STARS DKAJNS They both want things between them to be normal and safe. Aziraphale thinks that them being together in Heaven, like things used to be, would ensure this, but Crowley of course wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. ‘I wish I could fly’ is interesting. Falling being akin to clipping a bird’s wings; removing them of their power. Obviously Heaven would think taking away an Angel’s Heavenly status is a terrible punishment. It’s interesting because Crowley doesn’t actually wish he could fly because he doesn’t want to be an angel again. This lyric could be representative of both of their wishes for more power to be able to change things. They both want to be able to make things better for the two of them and for everyone else, Aziraphale just thinks he has to become a better angel and embrace his Heavenly duties even more in order to make things how he wants them (‘If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.’)

11. All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

One of her most iconic breakup songs …. but this song, and the 10 minute version specifically, has lots of lyrics that remind me of them. Notable lyrics: ‘Something ‘bout it felt like home, somehow’ Aziraphale was home to Crowley, when neither Heaven nor Hell ever treated Crowley like he had a place. One of my favourite metaphors in this show is the use of Crowley’s glasses to represent his vulnerability. The bookshop is one of the only places he ever takes them off because it’s the only place he feels really safe. Him taking them off during his confession only to put them back on again when he realises Aziraphale isn’t going to follow him, and then being on during the kiss is just so symbolic!!!! AJSNBSKDNSBSK ‘You almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me’ obligatory driving lyric ‘you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed’ Crowley used to be so happy about making the stars :( ‘Oh, your sweet disposition, And my wide-eyed gaze’ THEM !!!! More vibes of them as angels though. ‘And I was thinkin' on the drive down: Any time now, he's gonna say it's love. You never called it what it was. ‘til we were dead and gone and buried, check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same after three months in the grave. And then you wondered where it went to as I reached for you but all I felt was shame, and you held my lifeless frame’ This entire section is them. Aziraphale could never admit their friendship or his own feelings because of his relationship with heaven. He feels ‘shame’ because it’s not what he should be doing as an angel. ‘And there we are again when nobody had to know. You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath. Sacred prayer, and we'd swear to remember it all too well, yeah’ Hiding their relationship because az is afraid and it puts both of them in danger. However Crowley doesn’t have the same loyalty to heaven or hell so he keeps aziraphale like an ‘oath’ because it’s an important vow as opposed to something you have to keep hidden. Also any references to prayer is yeah !!!! ‘Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much.’ Because they never talk about their feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘They say all's well that ends well, but I'm in a new hell every time you double-cross my mind. You said ‘if we had been closer in age maybe it would've been fine’ and that made me want to die’ References to hell. Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels (but this isn’t true, while Aziraphale does still have biases against Hell because of Heaven’s abuse -’You’re the bad guys!, etc-, he just wants them to be happy :( ) Also ‘every time you double-cross my mind’ is such a clever piece of lyricism. I’ve got nothing too deep to comment on with that one, it’s just plain clever. ‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel, whose shine reflects on you’ Again, Crowley thinks Az will only love him if they’re both angels. Aziraphale also deeply failed to understand that Crowley doesn’t want to go back to heaven; this section is from Crowley’s view that aziraphale only cares about him as an angel, which is partly true but he remembers how happy and safe they both were as angels, and he just wants that feeling back. ‘I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight’ fighting for a broken cause; applicable mostly to Aziraphale’s loyalty to Heaven, but could also have meaning in regards to him and Crowley (See The Great War). ‘I still remember the first fall of snow and how it glistened as it fell. I remember it all too well’ because they were together for the very first fall of rain EVER !!!1

12. The Archer This is perhaps one of Taylor’s most Crowley songs ever. His anxiety and paranoia. He’s constantly on edge, constantly worried. He’s lived consistently exposed to danger and lies in every single direction with Aziraphale being the only one he could really trust, and even then, the two of them weren’t ever fully honest with each other. ‘The archer’ is someone who is consistently ‘ready for combat’ and thus sabotages their relationships because of this and feels guilt for it. ✦Notable lyrics: ‘I jump from the train, I ride off alone.’ Crowley’s way of dealing with stressful things is to run away from them. He consistently abandons situations he isn’t prepared to deal with because he ‘never grew up’ and gained the ability to properly communicate his feelings. Him walking out the bookshop door and driving away could be a representation of him running away from his feelings for Aziraphale because the fragile hope he’d gained in the previous scene had been torn down.

‘I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.’ Because they never actually talk to each other:

‘Because you and Mr. Fell don’t ever talk to each other.’

‘We talk all the time, trust me. We’ve been talking for millions of years. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back, it’s great.’

‘You never say what you’re really thinking.’

‘I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke.’ Bookshop fire ….. also just general restlessness and inability to sleep; to rest, because he always feels like he needs to be fighting for what he has and wants otherwise he’ll lose it. 

‘All of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you’ Crowley’s whole life and sense of self was torn away from him and burned, and any relationships he managed to have before he Fell would have gone up in flames as well. His desperately self-sustaining and combative attitude towards existence was likely borne from this; being unsteady in anything he ever gained. Aziraphale obviously was the only relationship he really was able to ‘hold on to’,  but even the angel was never able to fully feel like he could be himself … and also, this lyric:

‘screaming who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay? [….] you could stay.’ Except ‘he’ didn’t stay, did ‘he’?

13. Death by a Thousand Cuts

A breakup song about a relationship that you can’t move on from because it formed such a key part of you for so many years. It was ‘a great love; one for the ages’ yet you’re ‘still writing pages.’

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say ‘I don’t know’’ very much Crowley driving around aimlessly trying to fill up the space Aziraphale left behind.

‘I get drunk but it’s not enough because the morning comes and you’re not my baby.’ Because that’s also how Crowley copes with his feelings when they get too overwhelming; running away and drowning himself with drink.

‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug, now I’m searching for signs in a haunted club.’Aziraphale doesn’t really feel comfortable admitting his relationship with Crowley. We can see that Crowley doesn’t like this through, for example, their dialogue when Crowley first asks for holy water (‘fraternising’ etc). To Crowley, Aziraphale leaving must have felt like Crowley wasn’t enough to stay for, and that Aziraphale never really loved him as much as he loved Aziraphale. Also bears similarity to Don’t Blame Me (‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh.’) which gives the impression of love that was addicting and powerful, but it became too much. ‘Our songs, our films, united, we stand, our country, guess it was a lawless land.’Get ready because this line is so much more meaningful than I ever realised when I added it to this post. ‘Our songs’ something something nightingales.

But the real meat of this lyric lies in the second half. The phrase ‘united, we stand, divided, we fall’  is often used in mottos of organisations and countries in order to inspire collaboration and patriotism for them. It preaches the importance of staying loyal to a certain side, for if division sows among them, then they will ‘fall.’ Historically, it has been frequently used as war propaganda in WWII, and the American Revolutionary War. It has also been used in the struggle for Indian independence, by Ulster loyalists in Ireland, and by many political leaders, for example. Similar phrases can be found in the Bible, for example in in Mark 3:25 (If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand),  Matthew 12:25 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand), and Luke 11:17 (Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls).

In this song it describes the relationship between the singer and their former lover, which further animates their love as a physical nation or state (as well as a house with the lyrics ‘I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandelier’s still flickering here ‘cause I can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not).

This animation and the use of this specific phrase which has been used to garner a sense of loyalty towards a cause shows their love to have been a deeply personal thing, something you pledge your devotion to. However, in this song it’s contrasted with the lyric ‘Guess it was a lawless land’ which shows that the nation and love was hollow. It fell apart due to division.

Remind you of anything? Loyalty conflicts is a big part of this show, particularly with Aziraphale’s character, who is still shown to be attached to Heaven as late in his character arc as the Armageddon storyline in season one:

‘Even if I did, why would I tell you? We’re on opposite sides!’

‘We’re on our side!’

‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’

Aziraphale’s turmoil between his Heavenly duties and his feelings for Crowley (not just romantic, even their friendship) is a large part of his unwillingness to admit their closeness, but he’s also just afraid that they’ll get punished. He’s just afraid.

 ‘we could’ve been …. us.’ 

‘our side.’ 

‘a group of the two of us.’

etc , etc

Their relationship is repeatedly treated like it’s its own ‘side’ or ‘group’ that can be pledged allegiance to or deserted. This perfectly sets up Az’s character conflict and growth. It’s so GOOD!!!!!!

It also has a double meaning with Heaven’s patriotism, which has a façade of goodness but is really very corrupt and ‘lawless.’

‘But it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t enough, no, no.’Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale to go with him, he did everything he could, but it didn’t work. That’s what the kiss was; not a moment of love, but a moment of desperation. A final attempt to lay everything out. But it wasn’t enough.

14. Cruel Summer

Secret relationship that makes you feel whole but destroys you at the same time. ‘Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes.’ Religious language. The inability for Heaven and Hell to understand love, and even just friendship, between angels and demons is possible. Hell, and the demons, ‘roll[s] the dice’, the language featuring references to gambling shows their more opportunistic nature and need to trick every situation into benefiting them, because otherwise they’re stuck at the bottom of the pile. They can risk everything on a bet that could see them losing all their money, but they don’t really have anything to lose, which makes them very dangerous (like Furfur). Heaven is more judgemental, ‘roll[ing] their eyes.’ This judgement is what Aziraphale is afraid of (and, of course, the physical retribution that follows). It’s rather akin to an abusive relationship such as between a parent and a child, with an unhealthy power dynamic and Heaven always having more control. The child is always trying to do what’s right, but their view of what is right is often in relation to what their parent has raised them to believe is right, or simply in relation to whatever will make the parent happy. This is an analogy that perfectly describes Aziraphale and his internal conflict. ‘and if I bleed you’ll be the last to know’ Az hides his distress and doesn’t like people seeing him cry. See Tied Together with a Smile (second to last song). 

‘and I scream for whatever it’s worth; ‘I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’’ From Crowley’s perspective, Aziraphale loves Heaven more than him, and loving him is something that is shocking and unthinkable. Aziraphale is aware and okay with his feelings for Crowley, he’s only okay with them on a very, very surface level. He’s only sort of okay with their friendship, but doesn’t want to acknowledge anything more than that. So even if a confession of love is something Aziraphale wants from Crowley, he also doesn’t want to hear because he knows that they could never work. AHHHHHHH 15. tolerate it Largely about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. He gives them everything and works so hard to be a good angel but they never fully value him.  ✦ Notable lyrics: The bridge also is in reference to his and Crowley’s relationship: ‘While you were out building other worlds, where was I?’ Because they made the stars!!!!! 

‘Where’s that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire? I made you my temple, my mural, my sky … now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life.’ CROWLEY CROWLEY!!! Also religious imagery is just *chef's kiss*.

16. champagne problems

About a proposal that’s refused … I feel like I do not need to elaborate much on this, however it does apply to both of them, because they BOTH were offering something that the other refused. ✦ Notable lyrics: ‘this dorm was once a mad-house, I made a joke, ‘well it’s made for me’’ Crowley vibes. ‘I never was ready so I watched you go.’  Aziraphale wasn’t ready to fully turn away from Heaven, so he had to watch Crowley leave. ‘You had a speech, you’re speechless, love slipped beyond your reaches.’ Crowley tried so hard to convince Aziraphale; he knew he had to start talking first because if not he’d ‘never start talking. He knew what he was going to say, he ‘had a speech’ but it ‘wasn’t enough’ and Aziraphale ‘slipped’ away.  

17. ivy

This song is about an affair, and it’s also a very, very queercoded song. To Aziraphale, his relationship with Crowley feels like figuratively cheating on Heaven, ignoring his duties and shunning his responsibility and role as a ‘good angel’. Notable lyrics: ‘He’s in the room, but your opal eyes are all I wish to see.’ “But it’s pretty!” 💛💛 ‘So tell me to run, or dare to sit and watch what will become.’ Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is very mentally abusive. He will only be free of their influence if he ‘runs’ from them. He can’t stay connected to Heaven and be truly free and happy. 

‘So yeah, it’s a fire, it’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it, you started it. So yeah, it’s a war, it’s the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it, you started it.’ Both of their, but especially Aziraphale’s, internal conflict symbolised through fire and war. ‘Spring breaks loose, but so does fear’ Their bond and love has remained throughout history, and with Gabriel and Beelzebub revealing their relationship, the spark of hope was lit in both of them. ‘Spring [broke] loose’ but the Metatron’s offer subsequently pulled Aziraphale away from Crowley and reignited some of the ‘fear’ that he’s spent the show trying to grow away from. 

‘He’s going to burn this house to the ground.’ Speaking of Aziraphale’s fear; he’s worried about what admitting his feelings for Crowley, romantic or even just their friendship, will mean. The danger that it will draw. This lyric also has an interesting double meaning, referencing the literal burning of Aziraphale’s bookshop.

18. Back to December.

Another song about apologising to someone for breaking their heart. ✦ Notable lyrics: 

‘You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.’ The first part of this lyric is only really relative to Crowley’s confession in the Final Fifteen, because their relationship has never really been stable; they never gave the other ‘all [their] love’ because their fear stopped them. Crowley only ever showed his love to Aziraphale because he felt like he didn’t have a choice and it was the only thing that could save them. But Aziraphale 

‘But then the cold came, dark days when fear crept into my mind.’ I initially added this lyric because it reminded me of Aziraphale, but it also now reminds me of both of them. Their own fears interfered with their abilities to accept the other’s confession and to be happy. They need to both grow and learn before they can actually have a healthier romantic relationship.

19. The Great War

The metaphor of relationship troubles and trauma being connected to war.

There are some references to said relationship troubles relating to the inability to properly confront feelings and issues, instead turning away and using silence as a punishment to avoid really having to change your relationship.

Also relevant because their relationship isn’t just a metaphorical war; there is the imminent threat of literal war between Heaven and Hell, and literal physical negative repercussions to each of them due to their love being known. The motif of soldiers is also connected to the line of ‘I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight.’ from ATW10MV.

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘It turned into something bigger, somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed. Your finger on my hair pin triggers …. soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops. That was the night I nearly lost you. I really thought I lost you.’

They are each other’s weaknesses; see hoax. Their inability to communicate their feelings lead to the breakdown of their relationship. They ‘really thought [they] lost’ each other. ‘And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt. Telling me to punish you for things you never did. So I justified it.’

A bit part of Aziraphale’s character is his journey of developing his own sense of morality independent of Heaven’s. This is especially delved into in season two through, for example, the Job storyline and the Edinburgh storyline. However, we can see that he’s still very much under the influence of Heaven’s abuse during episode six through the way he still believes what they say about right and wrong and about the nature of Hell (‘Of course you said no to Hell, you’re the bad guys’ as opposed to ‘they’re the bad guys’). He doesn’t want to do anything malicious, and he doesn’t want to leave to Heaven, with his conflict about staying or going being quite obvious (as numerous points in the Final Fifteen he appears very tortured, frequently hesitating and trying to say things other than wanting to go back to Heaven). But he feels like it’s what he had to do, ‘So [he] justified it.’

20. Midnight Rain

This song is actually on their official playlist!!! About moving on from someone who wanted something different out of your relationship; a sentence which almost perfectly describes the way they view their relationship (of course, their misunderstanding led them both to believe the other wants something different, when in actuality they both want the same thing; to be safe together).

‘My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders, but for some it was paradise’ 

&

‘It came like a postcard, picture-perfect, shiny family, holidays, peppermint candy, but for him it’s every day.’Heaven… I don’t think I really need to elaborate on this.

‘He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain.’

Crowley wants them, he wants them to be ‘comfortable’ and safe, and he thinks that’ll only come if they distance themselves from both Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale also wants this, but he also can’t leave Heaven behind to the extent Crowley wants him to. He wants the ‘pain’ of belonging to Heaven’s institution and having high value there, because it’s familiar to him. It might be incredibly abusive, but it’s home to him. 

He wants to do the right thing, and he thinks that the only way to do that is to stay there. Ahhh ..

21. Tied Together With A Smile

Aziraphale song :( another one about his massive insecurities, folks. 

✦ Notable lyrics:

‘you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty’ Aziraphale always doubts how good of an angel he is and how well he’s doing what’s expected of him.

‘That you cry, but you don’t tell anyone, that you might not be the golden one, and you’re tied together with a smile but you’re coming undone.’Aziraphale doesn’t like letting anyone see him cry. He always turns away and tries to pretend he’s the ‘golden one’, trying to pretend everything is fine and he’s always doing exactly what Heaven wants, yet he is so insecure about his goodness. 

The entire second verse about him wanting love and praise from Heaven: ‘I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted […] but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain’ he’s tossed aside and talked down to by the people he works so hard to do the right thing for.

22. Don’t Blame Me Mainly this song is included because of its heavy religious motifs. It’s very reminiscent of a gospel song, also connections to Cruel Summer; ‘love made me crazy’. Of course a lot of this song is very ironic because it describes a love so strong and intense that it ‘made [me] crazy’, that you disregard everything ‘true’ and ‘right’, only doing what you feel is right in connection to your lover, nothing else mattering. However, this is absolutely NOT what happened in this show, in fact the exact reverse. I think this song describes how Crowley feels; not feeling connected to the institutions of Heaven and Hell and being willing to leave them completely behind. Perhaps it also describes a hypothetical future in which Aziraphale has grown and reached the point he can comfortably leave Heaven completely.

✦ Notable lyrics: ‘Baby I would fall from Grace, just to touch your face. If you’d walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.’ Because .. because that’s what happened. They begged eachother to stay :( Also religious language. ‘I get so high, oh, every time you’re, every time you’re loving me, you’re loving me.’ Their relationship is so powerful (especially how they were able to perform the really large miracle ACCIDENTALLY). ‘Something happened for the first time in the darkest little Paradise.’ Religious language. Them being together is their own ‘little Paradise’, because, due to them being forced to hide the nature of their relationship, their relationship becomes very intimate and personal. ‘Halo, hiding my obsession, I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.’ Religious language. Aziraphale helps Crowley be able to relax and to rest, letting down his guard. Crowley’s not fully able to do this, and he’s not fully willing to embrace the fact he is indeed ‘nice’, but he’s getting there. He’s still The Archer, but he can put down his bow slightly easier (but of course, the one time he fully put it down and opened up his heart, he was burned, so I don’t think he’ll be doing it again any time soon). ‘Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I’ll be using for the rest of my life, oh, oh.’ This lyric is particularly meaningful when parallelled to Death by a Thousand Cuts; ‘Gave up on me like I was a bad drug.’

23. Dancing With Our Hands Tied This song describes a love that you desperately want to be hidden yet you know that it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out and the danger starts.To have one’s hands tied is to be unable to affect something, representing how their relationship and their own lives were always out of their control because they could never live how they wanted to without fear of retribution (an excellent metaphor for queerness). Additionally, the motif of dancing, which in this context is an intimate and notably private act between the two lovers, is happening while the lovers’ hands are tied, representing the division and conflict that intrudes even while they’re alone together (‘Something happened for the first time in a darkest little Paradise’ from Don’t Blame Me). 

✦ Noteable lyrics: ‘I, I loved you in secret.’ ‘Yeah, we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied, hands tied.’ See above for analysis of the title lyric!! This song also reminds me of them because thy did actually dance together in season 2 episode 5, which is one of my all time favourite GO episodes. ‘I, I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us. So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?’ They couldn’t live how they wanted because of ‘deep fears’ that outside forces would ‘divide’ them, which in the end is what happened. Feeling like the world is against them (‘angels and demons, they can’t just-’)

Honourable mentions!!

Lyrics that make me think of them but there’s not enough content in the overall song to justify it being put on the playlist. They don’t have much, if any, elaboration, but if you want to hear my thoughts on any of these, let me know!! Of course I’ll add analysis to these if anyone wants them. This will probably be the section of the post that’ll be updated the most frequently, and feel free to reply or reblog with any of your additions :D 

~~

‘Just a shot, just a shot in the dark, oh oh.’ - Sweeter than Fiction, 1989 (remember the ‘I’ve known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark’ from Say Don’t Go?)

‘Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. Your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘Eyes full of stars, hustling for the good life […].’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘And you asked me to dance, but I said ‘Dancing is a dangerous game.’ - cowboy like me, evermore

‘I knew it from the first, old-fashioned, we were cursed, we never had a shotgun, shot in the dark.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (again, the ‘shot in the dark’ lyric! Also this was my suprise song WHAT THE FUCK?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?)

‘We were jet-set, Bonnie and Clyde, oh yeah, ‘till I switched to the other side, to the other side.’ - Getaway Car, reputation (‘We’re on our side!’ … ‘There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!’).

‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘Oh, simple complication, miscommunication leads to fallout. So many things that I wish you knew, so many walls up I can’t break through.’ -The Story of Us, Speak Now 

'But I liked it better when you were on my side.' -The Story of Us, Speak Now

‘And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her.’ -You’re Losing Me, Midnights

‘Loving him was like driving a new Massarati down a dead end street; faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly.’ - Red, Red

'You dream of my mouth before it called you a 'lying traitor.' - Is It Over Now? , 1989 (Taylor's Version)

'When your impressionist paintings of Heaven turned out to be fake, well, you took me to Hell too.' - loml, The Tortured Poets Department

thanks for getting to the bottom!! it means so much to me that you wanted to read this in any amount, you truly have no idea. here's a cookie 🍪 !!!!!

bye :D

[unma]

There's something so deeply irrational about how people will simply choose to substitute their own falsehoods as truth when confronted with a reality even mildly inconvenient to them.

I was scrolling through the flowerfell tag (in part because Kazefiend mentioned that more people were posting in the tag about how they didn't like Frans). Of course I did nothing more than block them, because I simply can't be bothered to go after random people on the internet, and keep scrolling through the tag. Yet, as I kept going, it was surprising to see more and more people talk like this.

Now I don't need to explain why tagging your ship hate as the ship you're hating on is a dumb idea. If you're lucky, you just get blocked by a bunch of people who understand harassment is not okay and not worth it. If you're unlucky you get dogpiled. There is no winning here. But this is slightly different, so I wanted to talk about it.

The pattern I noticed here was that these posts seem to accept that Flowerfell is a frans au, but either choose to actively ignore the shipping aspects of the au (a tough ask when said ship's relationship is one of the defining pieces of the au's narrative), deride the au for having the ship (oh my god mind your own business. Don't like don't read, have you forgotten your basic fandom etiquette?) or act like it was never a frans au, which is perhaps the worst of them all. But I'm not here to talk about the last one. No, I'm here to deal with the second option.

Choosing to deride or despise a work simply for its main ship is dumb for a whole lot of reasons. Firstly, you lose out on the joy of experiencing great works residing outside your current taste, for example: I was never a Charisk fan (until recently) and have a faint distaste for Soriel (due to how much I see it and due to how often it's compared to Frans), but if you asked me my opinions on, say, the Fading Away comic or Reapertale, I would tell you I love them both. The Fading Away comic is so sweet and wholesome, and I adored it even though at the time my involvement with the ship was 'a ship that one friend of mine likes', and I don't even need to explain why Reapertale is so damn cool.

At the end of the day, though, you do not need to force yourself to read things outside your comfort zone. It is your choice, and I ain't forcing you. But here comes fandom etiquette once more: "Don't like, Don't read." There is no point to subjecting yourself to something you don't want to read. If you don't like frans, don't read it. Simple.

Yet, that isn't even the most important part. It's not the point I wrote this post to create. The real point I want to convey is simple: If you refuse to acknowledge a part of the work so foundational to its identity, narrative and meaning, you are failing so disastrously to truly engage with and understand the story. It's like playing Undertale and choosing to ignore the fact that the pacifist route exists. Even in stories focused on the Genocide route, if the author chose to act like said route was the only possible option for whoever was in control, then it would go directly against the in-game portrayal of the route as a choice the player made despite the game's attempts to deny you the route.

If you go through Flowerfell ignoring the relationship between Sans and Frisk, or worse, changing it to fit your convenience, you end up with a dramatically skewed perspective on the work. Sans is an utter shithead to Frisk when they first meet, something he ultimately regrets, and their eventual reconciliation and their growing romantic relationship is important to the story. You can wish they weren't shipped together, sure, but to deny it is simply to deny reality and to deny yourself a complete, accurate reading of the story.

Don't even get me started on how absurd the hate for aged up ships is. But that isn't the point of the post. I've said my piece, and I'm just gonna keep blocking anyone being stupid in the flowerfell tag. Back to scrolling, and perhaps crying to Secret Garden at 3am.

[nobodysdaydreams]

🚀

Oh boy oh boy a Wolf359 fic snippet ask!

I do have to warn you anon, this next fic is gonna take a long time to write. The words keep on coming, and it might be months before I have the time to really write it out. But I do have the introduction. It's quite long, but I think you, and even some of my non-Wolf359 mutuals might enjoy it:

What would you do if you woke up with amnesia and were told that in a previous life, not so long ago, you were one of the worst people who’d ever lived? Not just criminal bad, but “evil dictator major unspeakable human rights violations” bad?

You’d say sorry, of course. What else is there to say but sorry? You don’t remember what led you to that and you can’t exactly argue with the people around you or object that what they say is untrue, because after all, you don’t remember anything, it’s not like you can prove them wrong when faced with the evidence. Tapes and recordings of a person who sounds like you, looks like you, and you know must be you, but who is also the most awful, heartless, horrifying individual your imagination could ever picture.

What do you do when faced with something like that, but with no way to deny it, no way to know why you were like this, and no knowledge or idea of what to do next?

You do what so many people with cognitive difficulties, memory loss, and impaired abilities do when they find themselves unable to live without the assistance of others. You acquiesce. You do whatever others they tell you to do, and you agree and accept whatever information they give you, like a dependent child who still has no idea how the world works and relies on adults to explain things to them. Obedience, submission, and compliance, for as dangerous as they are, can be a surprisingly effective survival strategy, especially when you have limited abilities and information. It’s actually a fairly common survival strategy that most humans use, to some extent, every day, whether they wish to acknowledge it or not. You trust that experts give you the correct information on subjects you are unfamiliar with, you trust translators to give you an accurate translation of words in languages you don’t understand, and you trust that those you depend on would not lead you astray. After all, the lure of complete control and independence, as tempting as it is, fails when one is forced to consider their own limitations and the fact that they can accomplish much more when through mutual reliance on others than they can by themselves, despite the risk of being used.

But in this particular thought experiment, the people you acquiesce to are not family, friends, or even trusted coworkers or qualified professionals. They are your self-declared enemies, who readily admit to having hated you for what you did to them, who have set up a situation in which you find yourself completely dependent on them due to your complete lack of memory, and also entirely in their debt for their forgiveness of who you were. Trusting what they tell you seems foolish. Why would they be so forgiving if you’d really hurt them and those they loved as much as they claim you did? Surely something must be awry. But your compliance is still what you need to survive, and so you do comply, and it works, or at least, it gets you to a certain point. A point of survival, acceptance, comfort, and as the years go on, perhaps even little moments of joy and friendship, or at least, as much friendship and goodwill as can be expected under the circumstances. But in the back of your mind, you always question their intentions. Whether you can really trust the self-proclaimed benevolent strangers who have taken charge of you, a heartless monster, and given you new life or rather, from your perspective, your only life.

[untilnextchapter]

Monthly Fanfictions Recommandation: September'23

Here are my best discoveries from the last weeks

🍬 The Authors

@kquil : a gentle author, writing about the Marauders, her writing will bring you peace and the writings are so soft. I love seeing her theme on my computer and seeing her icon on my dash is always a sign that I will read something good.

@luveline : you don't know if you want to read an Aaron Hotchner story or a good Marauder one? You don't need to change to another page, here is the wonderful Jade. She's so talented and you won't be disappointed if you want to check her work.

@thatfanficstuff : when I discovered this blog, I didn't know where I should go first. So many fandoms I love, so many characters, so many stories... So many comfort shows and so, comforting times after work. And sometimes, it's all I need. A gentle person writing some sweet stories.

@luci-in-trenchcoats : I read a few stories a few months ago but, I recently re-discovered this amazing author. With her works, I was back into Supernatural. So many hours spent at reading about our favourite hunters, so many series. And the best of the best: the writing skills are so great and it's so easy to read... Waow, just waow.

@imagineteamfreewill : Fluffy Supernatural fics and a lot of good AUs, all I need after a hard day at work. Meg is an excellent writer and you will spend a good time, I promise. I haven't read everything yet but, I know I have a few a good escapes in perspective. Don't hesitate , you will enjoy your time reading, I hope as much as I'm doing.

@anika-ann : I'm in my Marvel phase, I'm weak, I know. And, I think I found someone that could quench my thirst with so many good stories and good writing skills. I could spend hours reading about Steve Rogers. And I know I've found an unique writer because I loved a crossover story. I usually hate that. But here I am, reading a Criminal Minds / Avengers story and loving it. Thank you for that.

@crazyunsexycool : Another "Val", it can only be someone nice, right? But really, a sweetheart, someone with so much imagination, and a way to write about children... And I know what I'm talking about, I'm working in a nursery. It's so great to read something accurate when it's a subject you know. And except for the children, she's always here to answer your questions, being nice and taking time for her followers. I hadn't asked to be add into a taglist for a story for a long time. You won't be disappointed if you want to make a stop here.

🍭 The Stories

* = Smut (Minors DNI) || 🦋 = Series || Beware of the TW please

Not so secret admirer || @kquil (Remus Lupin x Reader, you can't hide your adoration for remus lupin and often end up staring at him, good thing he thinks you're really cute)

A star between hands 🦋 || @luveline (James Potter x Reader, finding out you’re princess isn’t half as intimidating as your new bodyguard, James. mutual pining, fluff)

if things go bad || @/luveline (Aaron Hotchner x Reader, Hotch rushes to get to you when you call him during a home invasion. angst, hurt/comfort)

True Mate 🦋 || @thatfanficstuff (Peter Hale x Reader)

Remember me || @/thatfanficstuff (Thranduil x Reader)

I Know Your Brother || @luci-in-trenchcoats (Sam Winchester x Reader, The reader is pulled out of Hell accidentally by Sam Winchester who’s wondering where his brother is…)

A Safe Mistake 🦋 || @/luci-in-trenchcoats (Nanny!Dean x Single Parent!reader, Dean’s in need of some extra cash to help Sam pay for his tuition and gets a job working as a nanny for the reader’s young son. As Dean becomes ingrained in the reader’s life though, he soon becomes more than just the nanny to them both…)

Beauty and the Beast 🦋 || @imagineteamfreewill (Dean Winchester x Reader AU, Living in a village is nice, and even though you’d always longed for adventure, you weren’t expecting to go on an adventure of your own anytime soon. But as soon as you take your father’s place as the prisoner of a Beast who lives in an enchanted castle, you’re surprised that adventure isn’t all it’s cracked up to be—and neither are monsters)

Daisy || @/imagineteamfreewill (Sam Winchester x Deaf!Daughter!Reader, Sam breaks some bad news to his daughter, who’s deaf, and watches her start to grow up without her mother)

Love on the Brain 🦋 || @anika-ann (Steve Rogers x Reader / Crossover MCU-Criminal Minds, You found menacing pictures of you friend, colleague and neighbour Steve in your mailbox.   Someone might play it off as a bad joke, but you were an agent for the Avengers Initiative and a former FBI agent. You’ve seen cases like this and you were taking no chances. Not with Steve of all people. But you were going to need help; enter the BAU)

Hands Too Cold, but Heart of Gold 🦋 || @/anika-ann (Steve Rogers x Reader, Matt Murdock x Reader, You officially joined the Avengers only two months ago and you’re about to take off to yet another mission. Cap would like to have some extra help on this one – but the Avengers have approached the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen before and he made it pretty clear how he felt about it. Of course, this time it’s you who got stuck with trying to convince him once again. “I still don’t understand why it’s not you coming, oh Star Spangled Man with a Plan.” “I do have a plan. I have you.”)

Heart’s Munition 🦋 || @crazyunsexycool (Mob boss!Steve Rogers x Maid!Reader. I can't copy and paste all the resume but I swear, you'll love it. A bit of surprise but it's worth the world)

My little love * 🦋 || @/crazyunsexycool (Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader. Really long resume but in short, Bucky, Reader, children, Papa and Mama bears, great scenario, you'll love it I promise!)

That's all, for now.

Don't hesitate to share the stories you liked and tell the writers you enjoy their works, it always means a lot to them ❤️

Have a good reading,

Val 🌸

[vro0m]

Height fact checking - 2023 edition

Dear all, do you remember this?

Back in 2022, when the only good grill the grid video came out, I decided to factcheck the height the drivers claimed to be with this grid photo of them through complicated and absurd calculations.

The whole thing was kinda shit because they were walking and had fluffy hair in the wind and it was highly inaccurate.

Well.

It's time for round 2!

It took me hours to correct the perspective the best I could. Then I applied the same logic than last time which was fiding a px/cm ratio based on one of the drivers to infer the others' height. It got complicated. I had to do 2 series of measures because the ones on the platform are further away than the ones at the front. You also want to pick someone towards the middle of the photo as a benchmark because they're least subject to lense deformation but for the lower rank it meant not seeing their feet and in the upper rank, I saw on another photo angle that Guanyu was standing back compared to the others. In the end, I used Valtteri and Max as benchmarks. I used lines based on the platform and relative position of the drivers to get an idea of where their feet were and get a base to measure from.

Here's what I found :

You can tell I did not correct the perspective well enough because there are consistent error trends as you move further from the middle, although the green lines tell you that the platform measures pretty much the same thing from one side to the other. The results are way more accurate than last time but it's still just a silly little fun thing so don't take it too seriously!

Detailed comments under the cut :

Max was used as a benchmark so I have no comments about that. Sergio measures 173cm as he said. Last time I found him to be slightly taller than that. Once again, I argue that Seb is wrong, whatever he thinks, Charles is indeed 180cm.

On the platform, you can tell Guanyu was indeed standing back as I said, because he appears smaller than he is and what I found last time. In 2022, Lando seemed to be much shorter than he actually is but he had a weird position. It seems correct this time. Of course Piastri wasn't there last year. I found online he's listed as measuring 178cm. I found 177 which is not far off. Valtteri was the benchmark so no comments about that. In 2022 he was positioned on one of the side which means more probability of him being in a weird perspective which probably explains the off measurement.

Now that's were it starts to get tricky. On the ground rank, George and Lewis seem to have accurate heights. In 2022, Lewis was the benchmark which explains the neat 174cm. In 2023 he is ~174cm EVEN THOUGH he's standing on his tippy toes. Yep. He is. If you look carefully at his right foot, you can see his heel is not on the ground. Silly short king.

But on the upper rank, we start to see an error trend. Lance is the right height, he seemed way taller in 2022 but it might just be down to fluffy hair. Alonso is a weird case because he's 1cm taller than he claims AND that was also the case in 2022. He might just be wrong about how tall he is lol. And then we see both Alpha Tauri boys are pretty much 1cm taller than they claim. That's probably down to perspective issues. It's kinda weird that they only affect the top rank and not the bottom rank but then again, Nyck and Yuki are further left than George and Lewis so it might be because of that.

And here we have issues.

Bottom rank : Carlos +1.5 ; Pierre + 2.75, Este + 1.25. In the video, one of the tall drivers said the tall drivers have terrible posture. My bet is if Este was standing straight his measurement would be even more off and we could see a clear trend of people gaining cm the more to the right of the picture they are. That's down to me not correcting well enough despite my efforts rather than them lying. How do I know?

Because the same thing happened on the top rank : Hulkenberg +1 ; Magnussen +2 ; Alex +2 ; Sargeant +1.5. We find ourselves with a similar case of people gradually gaining centimetres the further right they are. Sargeant is a weird anomaly. Either

he's shorter than he claims to be and the difference is closer to 2 or 2.5,

he's standing closer to the camera than the others are, but it's difficult to say because we can't see Alex's feet although when I look at the Haas boys feet compared to his it doesn't really seem to be the case

something is really really weird with the perspective being warped like ⬇️ this even though the lines around them are straight? 🤔 Seems weird to me.

Anyway here's a summary of the errors trends :

Conclusion : the height claims are boringly mostly accurate.

The end ✨

[stellae-de-baphometis]

An Ultimate Revise: Who Or What Is Satan?

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Okay... So I have a lot to say before I get into this post, because the original blog post I made was extremely problematic and I would like to address it, first and foremost.

My original "Who Or What Is Satan" post that I wrote was meant to be an educational and historical post, but it ended up being far from historically accurate whatsoever. It was full of errors and antisemitism, and I had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.

And so I've decided to completely rewrite and revise the entire post from scratch. It's something I've been wanting to do for a while now, because I really hate how my original post turned out and how antisemitic it was.

So without further ado, here is the revised and rewritten version of my original post, minus all the bullshit lol. Strap in, because this is gonna be a looong post! Full blog post is under the cut. ↓

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So here's a little more info and backstory on the original "Who Or What Is Satan" post, before we get into the revised version;

⚠️ - TRIGGER WARNING: Antisemitism - ⚠️ About a year ago now, I wrote a blog post of the same title under the username of @/thebaphometicforest. At the time of writing that post, I was extremely uneducated and new to Daemonolatry, and I had also been almost fully indoctrinated into a Ne0-Naz1 cult on Reddit without realising it (cough cough the fucking cesspit that is r/DemonolatryPractices cough). The blog post I wrote was full of misinformation and antisemitic propaganda, and I'm really not proud of the fact that I used to hold such antisemitic beliefs surrounding Judaism and cultural appropriation in general. I have since deleted the post, though I believe there are reblogs of it that exist, for those who wish to seek it out for further context, or whatever other reason you may need it.

I would like to take the time to sincerely apologise to the Jewish community for how blatantly ignorant and disrespectful I was in my past. There is no excuse for my antisemitism; I was just stupidly misinformed. I want it to be clear though that I never intended to purposefully discriminate against Jews, I just didn't realise how problematic my views were at the time. I wanted to clarify that distinction; But the bottom line is that the intent doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I was still a dick. It is no excuse and I take full accountability and responsibility for my past actions.

Please know that my past problematic views do not represent me anymore and I have changed and educated myself since then. And with that said, I want it to be my main goal to help dispel antisemitism, ignorance, and bigotry in occult spaces as an ally, as well as advocate for the rights and wellbeing of the Jewish community not only in occult spaces, but overall. 💙

With all of that said, it's time to set the record straight and talk about who and what Satan actually is!

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DISCLAIMER: Please keep in mind that I am not Jewish or Muslim, and therefore cannot speak from those perspectives on this subject. I understand and acknowledge that the concept of Satan originates in Judaism and have no intention to be appropriative. I'm simply just going off research and from what Jewish people in occult spaces on Tumblr have said regarding this subject. I also apologise in advance for any inaccuracies in this post. Please don't hesitate to point them out and I will correct them as soon as I can! Xx

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+: GIF Credit :+

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Satan has evolved to become a very complex character in the modern day. In fact, the very concept and idea of Satan can depend on who you ask, as there are multiple different spiritual paths that interpret Satan differently nowadays. Satan's history has also been muddied quite a lot over the years.

But what are the actual historical origins of Satan, and how did he even come to be?

༺・ The Origins Of Satan ・༻

So, where did Satan even come from?

The origins of Satan can firstly be traced back to Judaism, where Satan refers to an angel (Ha-Satan) that was initially subservient to God. It was only later that he came to be known as "The Devil" in Christianity (sometimes considered synonymous with Lucifer, a bastardised Greco-Roman god) and was referred to as an evil demon, devil, and fallen angel. Later in Islam, he came to be known as an evil spirit who went by the name of Iblis or Ash-Shaytan.

The concept and role of Satan varies drastically between Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and other belief systems which may have similar figures in their mythology. Let's further elaborate on what Satan means when it comes to these three belief systems.

Note: In the Christianity section, I have added a lot of my own interpretations and personal beliefs on the subject as I used to be a Christian as a child. However, I have not done the same with the Judaism or Islam sections as they are closed practices from what I have heard, and I feel that it is not my place to have a UPG on a closed practise, especially if I am not a part of it. Therefore, I will only be including historical info I have gathered from doing research in those parts and nothing more. I wish to remain respectful by not adding my personal input on those parts.

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+: In Judaism :+

There appears to be two main accounts of Satan in Judaism. The most well-know account is that Satan refers to an angel in the Torah named Ha-Satan (literally "The Satan") who is actually subordinate to God, rather than being an opposing force of God. His role was to test the faith of God's followers by tempting them to sin. If they resisted Ha-Satan's temptations, they were proving themselves faithful and loyal to God.

Another account comes from Satanail, the Prince of the Grigori Watcher Angels. The role of the Grigori were to descend to Earth so they could guide humans and teach them. But when they began having sex with humans and producing offspring such as the Nephilim, they were cast out of Heaven and became fallen angels. Some translations suggest that the Nephilim were a type of giants, whereas other translations suggest that they were the hybrid children of fallen angels.

Sometimes the archangel Samael is also equated with Satan, however they don't necessarily have the same functions. Samael was usually tasked with destroying sinners, whereas Ha-Satan was tasked with tempting and testing sinners.

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+: In Christianity :+

Here's where things begin to get muddy. Satan is referred to in multiple different ways in Christianity, and it really just depends on the interpretations and translations of the Christian Bible. Let's have a look at Satan's multiple titles that are mentioned.

~ The Serpent ~

Satan is considered to be synonymous with The Serpent that convinced Eve and Adam to eat fruit from the Tree Of Knowledge. In Genesis 3, the serpent claimed that if you ate the fruit, you could "be like God, knowing good and evil".

+. Genesis 3 .+ ❧ Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman "Did God really say 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" ❧ The woman said to the serpent "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die'." ❧ "You will not certainly die", the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil". ❧ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.

In my interpretation, Satan brought liberation, indulgence enlightenment, wisdom, and free will to Adam and Eve through eating the fruit. He showed them that if they open their minds and were willing to learn new things, they could grow and flourish to be wiser than they once were, as well as constantly strive to be the best version of themselves.

It was actually God that brought about consequences for Eve and Adam eating the fruit from the Tree Of Knowledge, not Satan. My interpretation is that if you choose to embrace your true and best self, there are always going to be people who will not like or approve of you; But that doesn't mean that you are doing something bad (as long as you aren't hurting anyone or doing anything immoral of course, lol).

~ The Devil ~

I think everyone is aware that Satan's most well-known title that he goes by is "The Devil". Personally, I don't like to refer to Satan using this title because the word originates from the Ancient Greek word 'diabolos', meaning 'slanderer'. This implies that Satan is a liar and deceiver, which I don't personally believe. In my experience, he has always been a bringer of wisdom and truth.

Satan is said to be the "father of lies" and that he "leads the whole world astray", but I still have yet to see any evidence of him lying or leading anyone astray. The Christian Bible says that he lies, but doesn't show how he is a liar; At least not to my knowledge anyways. However, the God depicted in the Christian Bible seems to have lied about how the fruit on the Tree Of Knowledge would kill Adam and Eve... Because it didn't. It enlightened them and opened their eyes. It helped them to see the truth.

I can't really find any bible verses that suggest Satan actually lies; Only verses accusing him of being a liar. I did, however, find evidence that God lies in the Christian Bible. (Please note that this isn't me trying to be anti-Christian or anything, I'm just trying to make the point that there isn't really any evidence that Satan is deceptive in the Christian Bible. This is mainly to point out the hypocrisy of conservative/extremist forms of Christianity.) Here is an interesting verse that I found which may prove my point that God is deceptive and does in fact lie:

+. Jeremiah 4:10 .+ ❧ Then I said, "Alas, sovereign LORD! How completely you have deceived these people and Jerusalem by saying 'You will have peace', when the sword is at our throats!"

Just something to thing about lol.

~ The Dragon ~

It is when Satan is introduced as The Dragon that the idea of him falling to the Earth (presumably from Heaven) is addressed in Christianity for the first time. In the Christian Bible, Satan is described as taking the form of a giant seven-headed red dragon, donning ten horns as well as seven crowns, one atop each head. It is described that Satan is "hurled down" to the Earth, as well as his angels that serve him.

+. Quotes From Revelation 12 .+ ❧ Then another sign appeared in Heaven; An enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the Earth. ❧ Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in Heaven. ❧ The great dragon was hurled down - That ancient serpent called The Devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the Earth, and his angels with him.

+. Luke 10:18 .+ ❧ He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from Heaven".

I personally don't really believe in angels or the Christian God, therefore I don't believe in fallen angels and I don't really buy into the divine simply being split up into "good vs evil". Instead, I believe in metaphorical fallen angels; Deities and spirits that were bastardised by Christian extremism and painted as evil, simply because they were anything other than the Christian God (e.g. Baal and Ashtoreth starting out as Canaanite deities and being demonised into the Goetian daemons that are Bael and Astaroth).

I think the whole thing of Satan being "hurled down" was most likely just a metaphor to symbolise his apparent defeat and that he had no place in Heaven, according to the Christian God.

~ The Morning Star ~

I think this is mainly where the whole idea of fallen angels came from, when Satan was conflated with The Morning Star, better known by the name of Lucifer. Funnily enough, Lucifer is never actually addressed by name in the Christian Bible; At least not that I could find. Rather, he is addressed as "morning star" and "son of the morning".

+. Isaiah 14 .+ ❧ How you have fallen from Heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the Earth, you who once laid low the nations! ❧ You said in your heart, "I will ascend to the Heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the upmost heights of Mount Zaphon. ❧ I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High." ❧ But you are brought down to the realm of the dead, to the depths of the pit.

+. 2 Peter 1:19 .+ ❧ We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts.

These verses seem to paint Lucifer as some sort of fallen angel that was jealous of God and wanted to rise above him. However, what some may not know is that Lucifer didn't even start off as an angel at all. The name "Lucifer" is Latin for light-bearer. The Greek word for this term is "Phosphorus", which is also the name of a Greco-Roman deity!

Phosphorus was the personification of the planet Venus, which appeared as the brightest "star" in the sky at dawn, hence the term "morning star". Phosphorus was the son of Aurora, the Roman goddess of the dawn, hence the term "son of the morning". So technically speaking, Lucifer and Satan may not even be the same entity. At least, not historically. The concept of Satan originated in Judaism, whereas Lucifer seems to have spawned from the bastardisation of a niche Roman god.

However, when it comes to Luciferianism, Lucifer is seen as a guide/teacher, liberator, guardian, beacon of enlightenment/ wisdom/ truth, and even sometimes the "true god" as apposed to the Christian God. I personally differentiate Lucifer from Satan to an extent in my beliefs, but more on that a little later!

IMPORTANT EDIT: A good friend of mine has since informed me that the aforementioned bible verses weren't referring to the Roman god Phosphorus. I was incorrect about this. The term Lucifer was actually a title applied to the King that ruled over Babylon at the time, most likely Nebuchadnezzar (II) the Great. The King of Babylon was compared to the planet Venus because of his power and influence in the world. He was "cast down to the earth" because of his wickedness. In this context, "Lucifer" was a physical human being; Not an angel, nor a god.

It was only until Christianity that these verses were misinterpreted (probably because of mistranslation issues, though I'm not entirely sure) and the story of the King of Babylon was twisted into the tale of an alleged angel that got his arse kicked out of Heaven for "disobeying God" or whatever lol.

You can read more about the backstory in this PDF I found that goes further into detail here.

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+: In Islam :+

The concept of Satan is also found in the Qur'an under the names of Iblis or Eblis, also known as Ash-Shaytan or Al-Shaytan. He was a djinn and the "leader of the devils" in Islam. On some accounts, Iblis actually started off as a high-ranking angel and went by the name of Azazil (not to be confused with Azazel). Iblis was assigned the role by God of eradicating disobedient and destructive inhabitants of Earth, so that they could be replaced with humans who were more obedient. But when Azazil refused to create a successor, he was punished by being cast down to Earth by God, where he then became a shaytan.

In another account, God created Iblis from the fires beneath the seventh Earth. Iblis worshipped God for thousands of years, and eventually, he ascended to the surface and continued to rise in rank until he accompanied angels in the seventh heaven.

God then created Adam from the essence of clay and breathed life and a soul into him, and ordered the angels to bow down to Adam. But Iblis refused to bow down; Being a jinn born of the essence of fire, he felt superior to Adam and refused to bow down to someone he considered to be below him. His disobedience to God and efforts to prove humans unworthy led to him being cast out of Heaven, where he earned the position of an eternal enemy of humankind.

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So with all of that said, I would now like to talk about my UPG of Satan and my personal spiritual beliefs surrounding him! :)

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+: GIF Credit :+

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༺・ What Does Satan Mean To Me? ・༻

My personal experience of Satan is that he's a very complex figure made up of many different bits and pieces from other spirits and deities. But mainly, I view Satan as being a triune godhead made up of three different beings/aspects; Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet. It's kind of similar to the "Holy Trinity" in Christianity. He's a diagram I made of the "Satanic Trinity" lol.

In my UPG, I see Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet as their own distinct entities, but I also see them as all being aspects of Satan as well. Think of them as being like a hydra dragon; Three distinct heads that all connect back to the same body. I also believe that other daemons can hold this title as well (Azazel, Belzebuth, Mephistopheles, and possibly many more) but I also see the term 'Satan' as just that; a title.

My best friend @sortiarus-de--naturas--daemonum has a really cool UPG regarding Satan as a title. She believes that Satan can be anyone or anything, and that it can also be a title for people who appose Christian (extremist) values. I actually really love this lol and agree with it quite a lot. ^.^

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In regards to the Satanic Trinity, the number (3) is said to historically be a sacred and magical number, revered across many different cultures and religions.

❧ In Celtic Paganism, the Earth was said to be made up of three realms/parts; Land, Sea, and Sky. ❧ In Alchemy, there were Three Primes (tria prima) that corresponded with the three aspects of human nature; Salt (body), Mercury (mind), and Sulfur (spirit). ❧ In Greco-Roman religion and Neo-Pagan religions such as Wicca, the triple goddess was a triune godhead usually made up of three different goddesses (e.g. Artemis-Selene-Hecate) and was usually also associated with the waxing, full, and waning phases of the Moon.

I view Satan in a very similar way to this. I see Sathanus and Lucifer as being almost like polar opposites, with Baphomet being in the middle of both of them.

❧ If Lucifer is Above and Sathanus is Below, then Baphomet is the middling Within and All Around. ❧ If Lucifer is the Sky (Upperworld) and Sathanus is the Land (Middleworld), then Baphomet is the Sea (Underworld) that meets and connects the two. ❧ If Lucifer is the Radiance of light and Sathanus is the Shadow of darkness, then Baphomet is the grey Quintessence in between. ❧ If Lucifer is the Sun above and Sathanus is the Earth below, then Baphomet is the Moon that middles between the two. ❧ If Lucifer is the Waxing Moon and Sathanus is the Waning Moon, then Baphomet is the Full Moon that connects the two moon phases together.

These are the correspondences I personally associate with Satan. I also have my own UPG about how Satan came to be.

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༺・ So... Who Is Satan Then? ・༻

I believe that Satan came to be through many different deities, spirits, influences, and Christian extremist paranoia throughout history. To an extent, I believe Satan to be a spirit shard of sorts. What's a spirit shard, you ask? Allow me to explain...

+: Spirit Shards :+

❧ A spirit shard is when a piece of a deity or deities breaks off and develops into its own entity that stands alone from its fountainhead deity. This is usually the result of vilifying and demonisation of gods from other religions and belief systems, primarily done by Christian extremists.

A good example of this would be the formerly mentioned Bael and Astaroth; I believe they are both spirit shards of Baal and Ashtoreth that came about because of demonisation by Christian extremists, and eventually those demonisations broke off from the fountainhead deities and became distinct daemons.

I also believe that there was some egregoric influence that aided in the creation of Satan as well. Thus, I feel that he could partly be an egregoric entity too.

+: Egregoric Entities :+

❧ An egregoric entity is a spirit, deity, or other type of entity that arises into existence from the collective thoughts, influences, and energy input of a distinct group of people.

Lord/Lady Baphomet themselves are a perfect example of an egregoric deity that arose from the collective belief in them being falsely conflated with "The Devil" by Christians. But more on their origins a little later. :)

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With all of that said, here is my take on how the three main aspects of Satan that are Lucifer, Sathanus, and Baphomet came to be! Please note that this is just my UPG and isn't meant to be presented as an absolute truth or fact; These are just my personal beliefs.

Note: In my practice, I believe in eight elements rather than just five. I believe in Fire, Air, Water, and Earth. I also believe in Spirit, but I split it into three aspects; Spirit Above (Radiance), Spirit Below (Shadow), and Spirit Within (Quintessence). Finally, I also believe in Void as an eighth element, which is represented by The Self, as you are the ultimate creator of your own personal practice. :)

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∙---+ 🜍.~ Lucifer ~.🜍 +---∙

As previously mentioned, Lucifer seems to have originated from the Roman god Phosphorus, a personification of the planet Venus that appears as the brightest "star" in the sky at dawn, called the "morning star". Phosphorus also had a brother named Hesperus, who was basically the same but instead appeared at dusk instead of dawn, and was known as the "evening star". In some accounts, the two gods were later combined into one singular deity.

For whatever reason, this niche Roman god was then dragged into the Christian Bible with the coming of Christianity, thus demonising them and leading to an initial split of Lucifer as a spirit shard from Phosphorus/Hesperus.

Interpretations then spread of Lucifer apparently being some sort of "fallen angel" that was cast out of Heaven for wanting to "rise above God" out of jealousy and pride. They were then conflated with being an evil demon, possibly originating from the benevolent daimon/daemon that was initially a type of guiding spirit that provided wisdom and knowledge, and not actually having anything to do with being evil at all.

Lucifer then started being conflated with The Devil, The Serpent, The Dragon, and the entire concept of Satan in general, thus leading to Lucifer earning their place in the Satanic Trinity.

❧ Lucifer represents higher consciousness, wisdom, enlightenment, knowledge, spiritual liberation and freedom, a guiding light in the dark, expressing/embracing your true self, confidence, standing up for yourself, self-love, rebellion, and always striving to be the best version of yourself.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: ravens/crows, hawks, swans, tree snakes, doves - Colours: icy blue, sunshine yellow, snowy white, sandstone orange, rich golds/silvers/bronze - Element: Air & Radiance (Spirit Above) - Incense/Scents: sandalwood, lavender, juniper, amber, lily - Metal: Copper & Gold - Planet: Venus & Sol (The Sun)

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∙---+ 🜔.~ Sathanus ~.🜔 +---∙

In my UPG, Sathanus is a complex daemon and deity that came into being via multiple sources. I believe that the concept of him spawned in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam; However, he later broke off into a spirit shard and egregoric deity, and further developed into his own entity over time.

As Christianity spread and extremist paranoia began to mount throughout the years, more and more deities were demonised and vilified in comparison to the Christian God. Deities such as the Greek Pan, the Celtic Cernunnos, and the Canaanite Moloch were all conflated with "The Devil" and falsely assumed to be demons. Overtime, attributes and pieces of these gods and many other vilified horned deities began to feed into the concept of Satan; And in an egregoric fashion, Sathanus evolved into a daemon and deity of his own.

He even has entries in several demonology grimoires that were written within the past few hundred years (e.g. Livre Des Esperitz and Liber Officiorum Spirituum).

Sathanus is primarily The Serpent, The Devil, and The Dragon. In the Garden Of Eden, he showed Eve that she wasn't bound to follow the rules of God if she didn't want to. He gave her the fruit of the Tree Of Knowledge to open her eyes and show Eve that she had freewill and could be the god of her own life. At least, that's my interpretation of it anyway lol.

Some rumours suggest that The Devil appeared at Witches' Esbats as a "great black goat with a candle between its horns". In this account, he was referred to as "The Witches' Devil".

❧ Sathanus represents worldly pleasures, power through knowledge, self-leadership, ecstasy, strength, confidence, insurgence, finding/embracing the beauty in darkness, finding hidden wisdom, nature, deliverance from limitations, courage, hedonism, and liberation through "sin" and freewill.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: dragons, snakes, goats, bats, spiders - Colours: blood red, jet black, electric blue, rich golds, rosewood / dark strawberry pink - Element: Fire, Earth, & Shadow (Spirit Below) - Incense/Scents: dragon's blood, rose, cinnamon, black opium, sandalwood - Metal: Lead & Titanium - Planet: Saturn & Terra (The Earth)

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∙---+ ☿.~ Baphomet ~.☿ +---∙

A lot of people don't actually believe in Baphomet as an existing daemon or deity, but rather simply as a symbol representing universal balance; However, from my personal experiences, they definitely are a very real entity. But how did they even come into being? Let's have a look at the history of Baphomet, and how they came to be associated with Satan later on.

Baphomet was said to have been a Pagan deity or idol that was allegedly worshipped by the Knights Templar. The name Baphomet first appeared in trial transcripts for the Inquisition of the Knights Templar starting in 1307. However, there doesn't seem to be any evidence that Baphomet was worshipped by the Knights Templar. Furthermore, it has been stated that the name Baphomet was actually a bastardisation of the name Muhammad, the founder of Islam.

It wasn't until the 19th century that the well-known illustration of the "Sabbatic Goat" was drawn by Éliphas Lévi. It was comprised of a number of binary elements in order to symbolise the "equilibrium of opposites"; Half-human and half-animal, male and female, good and evil, light and darkness, above and below, mercy and justice, etc. Lévi's goal was to symbolise his own idea and concept of balance, with Baphomet being an ultimate symbol and personification of "The Absolute".

But what many may not know about Baphomet, is that Éliphas actually drew inspiration from two distinct existing deities to create his Baphomet illustration; The Greek Pan and the Egyptian Banebdjedet. Lévi equates his image with a god that went by the title of "The Goat Of Mendes" (Mendes is the Greek name for the ancient Egyptian city of Djedet). On some accounts, it is said that Pan is The Goat Of Mendes, but it is much more likely that this title referred to Banebdjedet instead, who was mistaken to have been goat-headed instead of sheep-headed.

The chief deities of the city of Mendes were the ram deity Banebdjedet (meaning "Ba of the Lord of Djedet"), who was said to be the Ba of Osiris, as well as his consort Hatmehit, the fish goddess. In my UPG, Baphomet was partially conceived through these two deities, as well as through Éliphas Lévi's illustration.

❧ Baphomet represents ultimate balance, equity, unity of the universe and all its elements, cosmic order, the cycles of life/death/rebirth, queerness, beauty, duality, love and peace, creation, liberating knowledge, embracing/becoming your true and best self, creativity, wisdom, manifestation, and nature itself.

+: Other Correspondences :+ - Animals: sheep, goats, rams, cats, sea snakes - Colours: amethyst purple, sapphire blue, stormy grey, charcoal black, oceany blue-green - Element: Water & Quintessence (Spirit Within) - Incense/Scents: oud, patchouli, sandal rose (sandalwood and rose), frankincense, myrrh - Metal: Mercury & Silver - Planet: Mercury & Luna (The Moon)

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+: Divider Border Credit :+

--- --- --- --- ---

Please keep in mind that all of the correspondences and associations listed here are brief summaries of my UPG regarding these three deities/daemons. I will be making additional posts going into further detail regarding Satan as a triune godhead, hopefully in the near future! I'm not sure when the posts will be out though lol.

⭒☆·━━━━━━━•( 🕸 )•━━━━━━━·☆⭒

Welp, that's pretty much it for this post! Holy shit this took me so long to write. 😭 I hope this has helped you learn more about Satan origins, and Satan as a concept as well as an entity!

I wish you well on your spiritual path. :)

༺⋆✦. Ave Satanas .✦⋆༻

-Korv

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Since the announcement that Dune part three is in development I've watched a couple of youtube videos and read some articles announcing the news, talking about potential release dates and just generally talking about what they want for the third installment and in the comment section of them there seems to be a lot of discussion around how true to the book the third film will be.

Some are saying that they think Villeneuve will stick closely to the book Dune Messiah, others are saying that he will throw the book out completely and just make up his own story for the third film. Some are saying that after the changes made in Dune Part Two, particularly with the changes to Chani's character arc, its now impossible for him to stay true to the book.

Now I haven't read the book so not only do I have very limited knowledge of the book, I also don't have any special attachment to it. So my following views on the subject are coming from that perspective and are based on the two films I've seen and some comments that were in these articles/comments section.

(So mild book spoilers here, you can learn this from reading the blurb of the book.) One thing I did learn is that the book the third film will be based on, Dune Messiah, is actually set 12 years after the end of Dune Part Two's events. We don't see the holy war, we only see the aftermath. Personally I found this news a little disappointing because I feel like they've been revving the audience up with this holy war for the last two movies and so I was really looking forward to seeing it, to seeing just how far Paul goes, whether he tries to hold back at all, whether he has moments of hesitation etc, I was just really hyped to see this war they kept going on about. That being said I do think that seeing the aftermath would still be interesting too.

I've also seen some people say that the book itself won't translate as well to film as the first book does, apparently it has a lot less action and is more political intrigue, as one article put it, its a lot of people sitting in a room and talking. Again haven't read the book so I don't know how accurate that is, but on a similar vein, I've seen a few people say that whilst the book is good its nowhere near the level that the first book is and so they are worried the third film could be a let down for non-book readers.

So as I said above, lots of opinions going around, mostly from book readers because naturally they know a lot more about what is coming than us non-book readers. But it got me thinking how might Villeneuve approach the film and work around some of the concerns I've seen being discussed, the main ones seeming to be, there not being enough action/ it not translating well to screen and how they are going to deal with Chani, as it seems she plays a vital role in messiah and kind of needs to be at Paul's side in order to fulfil that role. So here are my theories and guesses at how Villeneuve might approach the last film. Again these are just my own speculations and opinions.

This first one could definitely be influenced by my own wishful thinking, but one way they could add a bit more action to the film is to spend say the first hour, for example, showing the holy war and using the time to explain how and why Chani returns to Paul, the birth of Alia maybe, etc and then have the time skip to 12 years later and cover the events of Messiah. These films usually have a long run time so if they keep the long run time for this film maybe they'll be able to cover both events. I do believe that the messiah book is considerably shorter than the Dune book, but then the Dune book was split into two films so I am not entirely sure on how well it would work. I guess it would depend on how well it is written.

Another possibility is what some have suggested and that they just throw the book out pretty much completely. The argument here being that Herbert wrote Messiah because when his first book came out the audience didn't get his intended message that Paul wasn't the hero, so he wrote Messiah to really hit home his message that this was a story about the dangers of false prophets and not a hero's journey type story. However Villeneuve has already achieved this message in Dune part two, which could give him some leeway to take the story in a new direction and add his own spin on it. It could also be an opportunity to make the story more appealing to modern audiences, the books were written in the 60's so political and world views were a little different than today. I do think that might be part of the reason why they changed Chani's character, the loyal concubine who follows along with the false saviour's crusade might not have been all that appealing to a more modern audience. The flip side of that though is that abandoning the book completely might not be a popular decision amongst the book readers. So you could end up alienating one side of the audience in favour of making the story your own and trying to appeal more to the general audience.

The third way could be to stick as closely to the books as you can given the changes made in part two. Villeneuve could just start the film with a narration from one of the characters like he did with Chani in part one and Irulan in part two, maybe this time they could have a narration from Paul himself explaining what happened in the war and how and why Chani came back to him etc, setting the scene so to speak. Then from then out just follow whatever happens in the books. Personally I don't know how satisfying I would find this but it would at least follow the same pattern as the other two films if it opens with a narration.

One other thought I had was they could keep the time-skip for the film but have a miniseries that is set during the holy war, I know they are already doing a miniseries covering the bene gesserit so maybe they can also do one showing the war to fill in the gaps. However I think this would be highly unlikely as I don't think they'd have the time to film both a mini series and an actual film. But you never know maybe we'll get really really lucky.

Out of all the possible options, I personally think the first one would be the best option. It would be the best of both worlds, the book readers will still get to see the book adapted, but spending some time at the beginning of the film showing the war could add that needed action and make it more exciting for those who haven't read the book and who might otherwise be disappointed.

But I am curious to know what others think. If you haven't read the book how do you feel about there being such a large time-skip? Do you care if they skip over the war? Or if you are a book reader are you hoping they'll stay close to the book or do you share the same opinion as some of the other comments I saw saying it won't translate well to film? How important do you think the change to Chani's character is and do you agree with those saying it has messed things up going forward? I am very curious to know. All of this being said I am still very excited that they are making a third film and I trust that no matter what direction he chooses to go Villeneuve will deliver another amazing piece of media for us.

[charles-leclerc-official]

Hii Luci, I hope you've been well! Could I ask for your thoughts on this?

https://x.com/XquaHD/status/1840535156454809974?t=mUwXeTZ4eofZjlS-J1nq2Q&s=19

I always thought Max and Charles had the most preference for oversteer, I've seen it in Palmer's F1 TV analysis as well, in a spectrum (although he didn't show all drivers to be fair) he placed Max as highest for oversteer preference then Charles next. I don't know about Ricciardo though.

This is really based on nothing and not from a source I think has any particularly valuable insight. I saw this on twitter and thought it looked odd, so it's just an opinion that I don't think is accurate. Like these are 3 different people who don't really know anything substantive taking a shot in the dark based on vibes, not to be taken seriously.

It is actually hard to rank this because we can only go off the very unspecific things the drivers say and what inside sources tell us. I would love to see the grid actually place themselves on a chart like this and really give a little more insight on where they think they place. This is an area where really getting things in the drivers own words and perspective would be helpful. Like what does "lots of oversteer" mean? Does it mean the most severe oversteer on the grid, or does it just feel that way to that driver in that car.

And for drivers like Lewis who have been doing this longer and have given different answers to the question over the years it would be interesting to see what he says now (pretty sure some oversteer) because I think as the cars have changed he's adapted as well. So I guess the other component of this is that it isn't a fixed thing about a driver. They can evolve and change their preferences over time.

Yes you can tell a little of what is going on based on the way the car behaves but that is also imprecise.

F1 Youtube please do a driving style chart video or something we need it.

(I also take issue with the smooth - aggressive scale because those are highly subjective terms that are again based on vibes so we have a lot of issues here)