#the more i read this book the better it gets tbh
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Hi, this is non-Barca related, but did you see that Barbra Banda won the BBC Women's Footballer of the year award and then all the evil men in the UK press came after her and that evil woman JK Rowling had to chime in?? It's so ridiculous that in 2024 our women athletes still have to go through all this! https://x.com/jk_rowling/status/1861449157564592425?
hi anon - yes, i did see this and two points:
let's call this what is really is and that's racism (and if they really cared about protecting women, why is zambia's coach still around?)
transphobia hurts everyone
this nonsense has been going on for ages and targeting almost exclusively black and brown women, like the cases (if you are all old enough to remember!) of the south african runner, caster semenya and more recently imane khelif during this summer's olympics in paris. when in reality they are simply phenomenal athletes and should be treated as such. 😤
as for barbra banda, here's a fun anecdote and the moral of the story because she had an amazing breakout year and deserves her flowers. in 2022, banda was supposed to join real madrid. but it fell through because real madrid are bigots and cowards and rejected her signing due to a supposedly failed gender test.
well, that just goes to show that the universe is working in her favour because with that rejection of that cursed club, banda went on be signed with a massive transfer fee and multi-million dollar deal to the nwsl's orlando pride, where they just won the shield and championship and she was named mvp. so who's laughing now? let's all enjoy this sweet moment when she got her award.
source: bbcsport on twitter
let's talk about the role of the press and that transphobe jk rowling (who belongs with all the other transphobes and incels on l chat tbh) that do more to harm women's football than anything else. none of these assholes give a shit about women's football, but now they are acting like experts. what's frustrating is when other media outlets amplify the voices of these idiots because they should know better?in any case, they better get their solicitors ready when banda sues them for every pound they have! 😤
finally, one of my friends recommended a book that i finally got around to reading last month from an american journalist called "fair play: how sports shape the gender debate" by katie barnes. it's very good and tackles many of the issues we have discussed including the inaccuracy and dubiousness of all these gender verification tests. 🙏
#barbra banda#imane khelif#caster semenya#transphobia#jk rowling#orlando pride#nwsl#futfem#woso#real madrid femenino
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"...[W]e must continue to challenge the societal arrangements that leads to preventable pain and suffering. Marriage can be quite beautiful and sacred, for example. Marriage can also privatize dependence: it encourages people to enter relationships for resources and benefits, like health care, savings, and tax deductions. I was nineteen years old when I got married, mostly informed by my faith tradition. I was also in love, but very poor, and marriage offered me a stability that I never had as a child. I was so lucky that the person I married was kind, thoughtful, and also very much trying to figure out his relationship to Christianity and his evolving manhood.
When we divorced nine years later and became friends and co-parents, I realized how the marital benefits I once aspire dot have did not make sense. I could remove him from my health insurance to account for the divorce, but I couldn't add any of my uninsured siblings, whom I would be related to forever. And our children had two options for insurance because they had parents who went to college and worked jobs that offered it, but independent contractors in my family did not have an option that wasn't a financial sacrifice.
If we focused on meeting the healthcare, employment, educational, and housing needs of people in society, then those who want to marry could more freely enter those relationships in their terms, and people who needed to escape because of violence could more easily leave without worrying what will happen if they get sick and need to see a doctor.
We should heed to calls for investment in the programs, opportunities, and laws that make everyone free and safe. Here too, universal basic income can help, allowing people to meet their basic needs and not rely on potentially sexually exploitative intimate relationships for income. Removing benefits from marriage accomplishes this, too. With universal health care, and other programs like free and quality childhood education, people vulnerable to violence have more free range to move, live, and practice healthy lifestyles."
-- Becoming Abolitionists: Police, Protests, and the Pursuit of Freedom by Derecka Purnell
#angel posts#angel reads#becoming abolitionists#derecka purnell#the more i read this book the better it gets tbh#every page she's talking about a new activist or abolitionist she's met#she's BUSY#and im googling the orgs here bc i wanna get more active too#but this passage made me think of the tradwife thing#people fail to realize that tying economic stability to marriage is so dangerous
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Have some meme redraws of the radioactive old man yaoi ft. my Human Bill design again‼️
Click for Quality!
#trigger warning gross old men kissing#tbh I don’t draw them looking old enough….#I’m really unused to drawing older folk. gotta get better at that.#also I’m not sorry for drawing my human bill design again I will do it more because he brings me joy#now if you’ll excuse me I have to finish reading the Book of Bill because I was too busy touching grass yesterday with family to sit holed#up in my room with my decoder keys and stupid Book of Bill-related notes collection#aria draws#digital art#digital drawing#fanart#shitpost#meme redraw#billford#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#gravity falls#grunkle ford#toxic old man yaoi#I want to kill these guys with hammers and knives
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i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it
alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that
#tbh my first thought is TheStoryGraph bc they have group/buddy reads but idk if anyone else uses that much#there's discord (which im not super familiar with even though i have used it)#or making a separate community here#or i guess fable but i truly dont know how anything works over there#plus like... yes there's a few names i can think of who might be in but overall idk!#and i dont want to put pressure on anybody either#i am terrible at reaching out and staying in contact and all that. always have been. even though i think about people all the time#im just not very good socially and im so worried about coming across a certain way or saying the wrong thing#so more often i keep to myself and i think sometimes i come across like i dont care or standoffish or something#but that's not it. i care so much i just get scared that it's too much or in the wrong ways.#im better at hiding but i know i need to get over it. its just hard.#(and i tell myself you know..#'not feeling lonely i just like being alone' but it's less true than i like to think it is#ANYWAY feelings dump aside i think a book club would be fun. i just dont know how to go about it.#ks talks
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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Since I was going through the Super Digest Books whilst looking for popularity poll results anyway, here's a couple more highlights
Q85: When are detective Takagi and Miwako Satou going to get married? A: I wonder (laughs). If they married one of them would have to leave the force, though (laughs) >>Super Digest Book 90+
Q23: When Sato will be married, will she retire from the police force? Or will she get transferred to another police division? A: But she likes to be a policewoman… >>Super Digest Book 40+
Q97: When detective Takagi and detective Sato will get married, which of them will be in charge of cooking? A: Well of course, that’ll be Takagi (laughs) >>RECIPE PLUS Super Digest Book
malewife takagi real and confirmed
also, a lot of the time, Gosho avoids giving any of the ongoing "mysteries" away, so like..
Q62: Are Sera-san and Haibara cousins? A: Stop asking in a roundabout way, I'm not going to get tricked! (laughs)
Gosho: no spoilers!!! Gosho, 30 seconds later:
Q87: While solving all the problems in Conan, will the mystery on Kaito's father getting killed get solved in the mean time as well? A: They won't be solved at the same time! Moreover, he didn't get killed!
both from the Super Digest Book 80+, released in April 2015.. I'm not that knowledgeble of the MK series but I'm pretty sure this wasn't revealed at any point before this,, what was he even thinking lmao
there's a forum post from the DCTP forums where the translation was posted and people were talking about how much they hate this, if anyone's interested in reading the reactions. seeing people speculate about things is pretty fun too. Super Digest Book 80+ Translations
#dcmk#detective conan#i'm gonna rant a bit apologies beforehand#the sd books can get pretty annoying to read tbh#gosho answers a lot of q's with 'idk' or 'i guess so!' or 'maybe..' like bro.. idk what shounen sunday's making you do but surely#you can answer better than that or even pick questions you want to answer;;a lot of them aren't even spoiler qs#like one question was 'where did akai and akemi go on dates? tropical land or something?' and his answer was 'idk'#these are your characters buddy!! you can make it up!! you can even agree and say tropical land! no one will argue with you about it!!#there are multiple qs about how long the series would go on for and he says 'there's space for over 100 volumes'#then act like it!!#flesh your characters out i'm begging you!!#does it actually have space for 100vols or does it have space for you to bloat up the cast with more characters?#rant over sorry goodbye i'm going to bed
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One of the both interesting and annoying things with Trials of Apollo is Apollo is an unreliable narrator who will entirely straight up lie to the audience.
Like, on one hand, yes technically that is what an unreliable narrator is, but generally with unreliable narrators you are able to parse that they’re being unreliable entirely within the contexts of the narrative and also parse the truth. A good example is actually Magnus Chase - he’s also an unreliable narrator. But he doesn’t wholly outright lie ever about random details. Magnus is somewhat coy when it comes to details about himself or his feelings, but its also generally very easy to see through his pretenses. When we’re introduced to him, he talks a lot insisting that he’s some type of tough loner guy on the streets, and isn’t super into touchy-feely stuff. Then we’re immediately introduced to his found family and spend the next two books seeing his found family grow and finally him literally win a fight with the power of friendship. He claims he’s totally independent, but then also talks about how he keeps sneaking into his uncle’s house and again, has two adoptive dads. We’re presented this information almost side-by-side, so while Magnus is an unreliable narrator, we as the audience are still receiving valid information. And then comparatively Percy is just almost entirely a truthful narrator. There’s never really a question of having to dispute the information he gives us.
Meanwhile, Apollo will exposition at the audience and we genuinely have no way of confirming or denying it, and we do know that he is blatantly lying about at least some of it, which makes basically all of the information entirely useless. The most notable example of this is Apollo spending three whole books referring to Artemis as his younger twin sister. Without contextual knowledge of Greek Mythology, specifically relating to the myth of Artemis and Apollo’s births, there is no reason for the audience to dispute this or not take this as fact when Apollo is presenting it as such. Then, in Tyrant’s Tomb when Artemis actually shows up, Apollo completely 180s into being truthful and referring to Artemis as his older twin. It honestly almost reads as just narrative inconsistency or textual error if you aren’t aware that Apollo is intentionally supposed to be lying to the audience.
And it’s annoying! Because we can’t take anything he says as fact most of the time! Like, we can presume it’s true, because we have nothing saying it’s not true until we do. But also, sometimes we do! Like with Artemis! So there’s a ton of little instances of having to go “Is this a retcon, new information, consistency error, or is Apollo just straight up lying and it will never get addressed?” We don’t know.
#pjo#riordanverse#trials of apollo#toa#TODAY ON: RANDOM GRIEVANCES I HAVE#tbh that one detail was one of the things that made it extremely difficult for me to get through reading TOA#because it just KEPT COMING UP and it was pissing me off SO MUCH#there was at least one time i went ''If he says she's the younger twin one more time i am putting down this book''#and it's extra annoying because WE KNOW RICK CAN WRITE BETTER UNRELIABLE NARRATORS#HE WAS LITERALLY WRITING MAGNUS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME#he's just shitty on purpose and i hate it
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the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/
#like okay i get it skk is the most popular bsd ship by a longshot#but it does kinda suck that my skk fics will always end up being more popular than literally anything else i write for bsd#when i have way better fics tbh#okay i'm unleashing this from my drafts lol#like i get it kudos/hits/bookmarks counts aren't telling of how good a fic is#but out of my last five fics. my skk one has ONE HUNDRED kudos more than the next most kudos#and idk it also sucks that i know my skk is better than 90% of the fandom but. even my skk fics get significantly less kudos/etc#than big writers in the fandom who AREN'T EVEN GOOD#or are like. mid at best#i know in theory that the bsd fandom doesn't care about characterization but like. not only do they encourage bad characterization#it feels like sometimes they're actively against good characterization#even in j.jk and a.tla where there are major issues with bad characterization#more people seem to at least appreciate the good characterization. (even if they aren't good at it themselves.)#but i swear to god no one in the bsd fandom cares about anything besides whether dazai and chuuya are kissing. it begins and ends there.#it never ceases to amaze me (derogatory) how a fandom where the source media draws So Much inspiration from classic literature#can somehow have NEGATIVE media literacy skills#why don't you guys take a break from your edgy dazai x softboy chuuya fics and you fems.kk with dazai in skimpy clothes and your#beast chuuya sobbing and killing himself over dazai's death#and go read some of the books by the actual authors. and then write me an essay about the themes that has nothing to do with shipping.#and THEN you can come back to the fandom.#listen i love skk but oh my god sometimes the fandom makes me hate them.#anyway one of these days i'm going to get anon hate for complaining about the bsd fandom so much but that's fine#at least i know there are characters in the show besides dazai and chuuya. and when i do write skk AT LEAST I DO IT RIGHT.#hello grace here
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like guys i promise im aware blossomfall is meant to be a glass child. i just think she’s a poorly written one lmao
#tbh thats why my feelings on her are so strong. its a delicate topic for kids but time and time again#its been handled extremely poorly and just used as an excuse to hate disabled people#i think my exhaustion with these stories is bc they were sorta shoved down my throat by the school board growing up#because they heard ‘’wow you got TWO autistic brothers??? your life must SUCK ASS AND BALLS have this book abt how autism ruins families’’#wow cool i feel so much better guys. both about the ableism my family faces in general and about my undiagnosed autism#if i had to think. and i havent read this in forever so i could be misremembering. i think a decent example of a glass child trope#is the sister from ‘’wonder’’ (the book. idk what the movie did)#because while she’s an important character who struggles with internalized ableism#the focus is still on auggie and HIS struggles with his own disability and the ableism he faces as a result#and the sister isnt demonized for her feelings but she does still have to grapple with them#and accept her situation and that no one is at fault or anything. its just a consequence of an ableist society more than anything#again. been forever and ever since i read that book and iirc it does still have iffy shit like the one chapter on genetics#like to this day that sticks out as an uncomfortable chapter and idk if i can say its fantastic rep bc of that#but idk. i remember liking it fine as a kid#i always appreciated books that tried to get into multiple perspectives on the issues#also this is just me and ik it goes against the definition of the term#but man. kinda wish we’d get a glass child character thats also disabled and their disability is undiagnosed or ignored#for the sake of only prioritizing their sibling and bc they have to be ‘’the perfect abled child’’#because thats my story lol#wasnt allowed to be disabled or imperfect or need help because being a third disabled kid wouldve been too much
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Reading shit comics kind of sucks but at least I get the satisfaction of proving my own point w this
#like damn if i really was 100% right about this before i even knew what i was talking about#anyways one of the many many problems with new 52 wonder woman is the fact that diana isnt religious enough#also that azzarello and chiang are incapable of imagining a feminist utopia which is the original genre that wonder woman comics were based#in in the same way that batman for example is connected to the noir genre. and the mythological aspects of the og wonder woman comics were#in fact a common framing aspect of the feminist utopia genre of the progressive era (with many of the deeper greek mythology aspects being#established as the foremost ww genre later on)#anyways this failure to understand this layering of genres in the ww mythology i believe is the principle contributor of why this run which#is popular with many and has such a footprint in other more mainstream media is hated by so many longtime wonder woman fans in that it not#only neglects but actively goes against key parts of her premise#a comparison could be made to a superman run that is heavily based in science fiction and exploring deep sci fi genre plots without any#understanding by the creators of why it matters that superman is champion of the oppressed and disrespecting that core part of him by in#some ways making him actually go against that in service of the high sci fi genre plots and conflict#and then ofc to translate better in this reality this run would function like a can of worms in that while dc in comics would eventually#course correct back to the base version the public opinion would become divided and especially adaptations would need all the canon changes#from that run torn viciously out of their hands bc they refuse to LET IT GO#anyways yeah teehee i swore to someone id never read it but i needed it for fic research purposes unfortunately so i started it. only read 6#issues but meh. first one wasnt terrible tbh id read worse but after that i got much more unhappy#anyways they simply dont understand why people like the amazons or why people should like the amazons. which again is like half the freaking#point bc like. feminist utopia genre. but i digress#its bad but its bad in a way that proves me right about why its bad so at least theres that#someday when i post my rebirth ww fic ill post the analysis of nu52 ww and the comparison to the beat movement/ginsberg that ive got in my#drafts. finally get that A in comic book literary analysis#blah
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my excerpt thoughts
#sketch speaks#warrior cats spoilers#wc spoilers#asc spoilers#asc thunder#breakin out the spoiler tags#adding some filler tags to push th spoilers under the read more thingy#so spoilers ahead#anyways. frostpaw needs some therapy my god that girl is traumatized#ivypool deputy moment ftw#i didnt actually care much abt who was deputy i just wanted it to not be lionblaze#so thank god#sunbeam and nightheart are still SO grating to me girl go home#stand up for ur choices against ur mother ofc ur so powerful but just. nightheart?? u can do better than him#augbghgbhb#rootshadowsun stays top tier for me#i dont get the feeling she like wants to be in thunder tbh the book keeps saying it but it feels hollow to me#maybe bc i dont want her to akjhdjh but yea#hate how her thoughts are all about nightheart now please have a hobby sunbeam
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i kinda wish sometimes that i had more ppl to just like discuss and jam about meat&candy but im having way way way too much of a good time vibing on my own
#our t#talking about the eps more publicly in my experience generates way too much... idk drama i guess could be the word. anger#conflict is a better word. which sucks cause i just wanna vibe and enjoy the thing we all enjoy#but like during my latest group reading of hs1 i can SEE the seeds of what happens in the eps and hsbc#i mean my partner system pointed out the direct line from dirk's pony pals rewrite to how he took over as the new narrator#and he handles both the EXACT SAME WAY#beyond canon is literally just a continuation of hs#its just 2 possibilities of that continuation we get to see#there were 3 things in that picnic basket after all. the book represents fic and even the entire epilogue themselves#is like a pitch-tinged loving callback to the crappy 2000s fanfic we all used to write as edgy 11y/os on ff.net#using an ao3 format so younger fans and readers can connect to it better cause ff.net is currently DEAD and idk if itll ever come back lmao#good tbh cause its organization was shiiit ao3 is much better. its an actual ARCHIVE for one#but i say pitch-tinged cause hussie has always done that#affectionate references to Being A Tween/Teen while also poking fun at the whole thing. its rlly rlly important to keep that in mind imo
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hey guys do y’all remrmber me ..... i am alive and doing well 👍👍
#very VERY sorry for suddenly leaving so long ago#idk i just. leave my social media accs randomly sometimes idk sometimes i need space ig#but i wanna try n be a lil more active on here again <3#a lot has happened since i’ve truly been active on here but welp such is life#i have an active dnd campaign n more close friends now#and i almost booked tickets for the bronze vb olympia match !!#sadly they were all sold out :(#there’s still some old ass asks in my inbox i wanna get to eventually !! taku n anon z i see ur asks! i will answer them !!#might take me a bit to get used to tumblr again. generally not sure just how active i’ll be#we’ll see ig#in case anyone actually reads this especially if i know you: hey!! hello !! i missed you all :((#especially taku n anon z ofc !! <3#bc i mostly only rlly talked to you guys haha#i’m on anti depressants now n actually doing much better in case. anyone was wondering haha#and i’m once again neck deep in a tokrev phase bc i just got a friend into it (we watched the whole of s1 together)#(it took us 5 days)(we were on a school trip n didn’t have anything better to do)#so. uh. yeah#hopefully expect some tokrev stuff from me :3#glad to be back guys <3#really missed this tbh#☆—`elys rambles
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Just in case: there are spoilers for the edelstein-trilogie ending under the cut. (Its not very cohesive just mostly a rant tho.)
Finished smaragdgrün today and i thought i remembered how much the end pissed me off but hoo boy actually reading it made me so much angrier!! Might have to write kerstin gier a very strongly worded letter where i can finally get out all the annoyance that has been accumulating inside me since 2011
I dont care how rushed the ending feels, i dont care about the not super exciting reveal of the count or even that gideon suddenly becomes immortal just to give the audience a twist ending surprise (literally forgot about both of these plot points lol) but the ending of james' story pisses me off so much its ridiculous tbh!
Like you cannot spend three entire books explaining again and again (and again! Really too much actually) how the time travel rules of this universe work and then just completely break them just to give a (not even very likeable) side-character a sappy good ending which disregards everything we have been reading for however many pages and just expect me to accept that??? I will never get over this i will die on this hill (from old age probably... ive never met anyone who would care to fight me on this)
The story really does not need to give james a happy ending but more importantly: if he didnt die and become a ghost he would have never met gwen and therfore she could not have given him the vaccine to save his life so none of this makes any sense and completely breaks the time continuum!!!
If anyone of you ever writes a time travel book please for the love of fuck get an editor who has a single brain cell and can tell you when you fuck up your own logic!!!! Or at least give it to me to read!! How did this get published good god!
Okay im good i needed to get that out. Thanks.
#mine#smaragdgrün#rubinrot#i have been living with this stupid mistake annoying me since i was like 15 and i know i will never get over it#it is obviously stupid and i wish i could meet kerstin gier just once to ask her why she did that#like it is so unnecessary and for what??? none of this needed to happen at all#anywayyyy im not going to describe in detail the several ways this could have gone better (by the plan not working!!!)#or how the space could have been used to give a more satisfying ending#(tbh the final step of the counts plan also doesnt make any sense but lets not dwell on that either)#i know i know its a kids book snd all that but i still think it should make sense#i definitely hated that plot mistake at the end when i first read it too and thought it was dumb! kids snd teens deserve better.#thats all im realpy done now i promise#at least gideon gets better towards the end and xemerius was actually do much less annoying than i remembered him lol
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When there are cracks in everything, it suggests a fundamental fragility.
Brainwyrms, Allison Rumfitt
#okay wait i kind of get it now im an brainwyrmspilled rumfittcel#i think because this one was more. bodyhorrorish than the last?#and it's still v political but i think the political themes were weaved a little bit better into the text#or maybe im just biased because it's more Online than the previous one and i love when books lean into Having A Bad Time Online#it is a very good book to read when you are Having A Bad Time Online#but i guess the part i didn't really like about it was the long buildup? and also the play tbh im sorry i skipped the play entirely#that being said. GET WORMED IDIOT 🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱#also does anyone know if frankie is fr chinese or am i misreading the situation
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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