#the minecraft bee before minecraft ever existed

[arsenicflame]

made the most delightful discovery about the shape of bees in mysims (SQUARE)

[inkbagel]

I saw some other ppl writing their ideas for a better Minecraft movie and I had a fun idea so I figured I’d write it down

Starting off, Steve and Alex aren’t the main characters of this movie. They can show up as special guest appearances but for the most part they’re not in the movie. The movie is instead about two random kids since it’s a kids game and most people started playing when they were kids. One of these kids is several years older than the other and is more skilled at the game.

This could be taken a step further by making Steve and Alex played by these kids with their voices, bc those are the default skins. Steve is not white. Basically I’m saying in the movie the kids log onto Minecraft and look like Steve and Alex instead of themselves. This is all animated except for small short scenes of the kids in real life.

It starts off with a scene of the two kids at school. They’re both disliked by the other students and the older kid scolds the younger kid a lot for being weird. They eventually try to start playing Minecraft together.

the older kid has played the game way more, and is trying to show the younger kid how to play. The older kid is very serious about the game and is constantly upset at the younger kid for how they’re playing. They’re trying to build the best Minecraft base ever as the premise. They’re on a public server, and sometimes meet other people.

The younger kid is just enjoying the game. Picking flowers, finding pets, just having fun. They almost get killed many times but the older kid saves them.

They also spend their first night in a hole in the ground.

As it carries on the older kid gets increasingly frustrated at the younger kid for constantly getting them in danger and the younger kid just gets more sad bc they’re constantly getting pestered about existing. They go mining, go to villages, the nether, all sorts of places. The older kid every once in a while complains about some addition to the game being “useless”. Probably some kid of block.

They meet a player who tries to kill them and also raids their base. The older kid fights them off.

the older kid kills some mob the younger kid liked “for food” and they get in a fight. Idrc when this happens in the movie the important part is the older kid tells the younger kid to get over it and they need to survive somehow.

Since MCYTs are such an integral part of Minecraft, at LEAST one has to show up and more have to be mentioned. I’ve decided goodtimeswithscar is going to be in the movie. Just bc I like his content and he’s a sweet guy. They also mention etho bc they have to build a hopper clock for some reason.

The kids run into a gorgeous town all built by scar and meet him. Scar tells the older kid it’s okay to have a little whimsy and be a little bad at the game, he’s been building since he was “but a little boy” and even he still messes up frequently. The older kid doesn’t pay much attention to this advice yet.

Bringing this up again but they live in a hole. For most of the movie. The hole gets a little bigger over time so they can fit more stuff in it, but they won’t move out of the hole until their base is finished.

This whole time they’ve been gathering resources for their perfect base, except it’s pretty much mostly been the older kid.

Finally they start to build the base but the younger kid gets distracted by a new mob. Probably a bee. They have this magical moment of staring into its beautiful eyes before the older kid shows up to pull the younger kid away. The younger kid asks why the older kid is so adamant on finishing their base instead of taking their time. The older kid gets caught off guard. They say smth along the lines of “we can’t have fun until we finish the base.” And the younger kid responds with “we’ve been having fun. At least I have. I just wanted to play Minecraft with you but you keep making me play your way and I’m not having fun anymore. Why can’t we try my way for a bit?”

And then the younger kid hands the older kid a flower, and the bee looks at the older kid. The older kid sits there looking at the bee for a minute before the younger kid says “we don’t have to play the same way to have fun. I just wanted to play with you.”

The older kid looks really guilty, and the younger kid walks away and gets lost.

The player who tried to kill them earlier comes back! They spawn a wither. The younger kid sees this and starts screaming for help.

The older kid is working on the base, more sadly now, when they hear voices. They look in the distance to see the wither.

They drop everything and run to save the younger kid. They make up and kill the wither together. The older kid teaches the younger kid how to fight, and they protect their home (except most of it got destroyed, along with their pets.) I haven’t decided what happens to the troll player. They either die too or get banned from the server for griefing.

The older kid looks at the ruins of their base, before turning to the younger kid who’s crying over the dead bee. The older kid asks if they want to help them find a new bee. They do.

After finding a new bee, the younger kid asks what to do about not having a base. (Their hole got blown up too.) the older kid says they can just build a new one. they start to rebuild their base together. The younger kid plants flowers and gets new pets, the older kid works on the shape of the house. They use the blocks that the older kid had deemed useless at the start of the movie.

They finish the base. It’s not the best base ever, but you can see both kids personalities shining through the build. The movie ends with them walking into the base and one asks “see you at school tomorrow?��

I get it’s called “a Minecraft movie” bc there’s many good indie stories told in Minecraft, but at the same time, Warner bros. could be doing so much better. I don’t have an ending for this post since I just wanted to write this down somewhere. But yea that’s MY Minecraft movie.

[pip-n-chips]

how (some) DoL characters play Minecraft

Robin

Mainly sticks with the easy difficulty

Likes building things in survival mode instead of creative for the extra challenge

Has keep inventory on + mob griefing off

Plays multiplayer a lot (sometimes with local orphans, sometimes online), and can get quite competitive during minigames

Parkour is the bane of their existence

Has like 46 dogs in their main survival world

Scared of Herobrine (they know he's fake, but...)

Has thought about streaming their gameplay, but they need some encouragement from you in order for them to go through with it

The peaceful music from the game paired with Robin's commentary is calming, you might take a nap...

Whitney

Griefs your base with TNT and lava buckets, initially

Starts getting more creative with ways to fuck with your shit, you'd be impressed if you weren't so pissed

Got a friend of theirs to help them use cheats, but brags about it + takes the credit for themself

Has been banned from a handful of online servers, takes pride in the ever growing list

Builds,,, questionable sculptures

"lmao get good bro"

Basically a big troll lmfao

Throws their controller/hits their keyboard when raging (they strike me more as a console type of person, though)

Has a dog/cat/horse they name the same thing every single time (perhaps in remembrance of an old pet or stray)

Mickey

Almost exclusively* plays modded singleplayer

* Maybe they used to play with Robin or other orphans (before life got so much more complicated, anyway,,)

Has made their own mods + add-ons but hasn't posted any online

Fond of mods that add RPG + fantasy elements to the game (especially DRAGONS!)

Pretty good with redstone, they like making weird contraptions

Has a complicated + organized base

Sets up traps, hidden compartments + other secrets in their base even though they're the only one who'll see it

Tries to get all the achievements (vanilla + any that mods add) + collects and frames special items

Has a lot of commands memorized + knows how to use command blocks

Sydney

You introduce them to the game and they like it a lot!

It's funny watching them learn more about the game and what to do/what not to do

Punched a bee once and fell off a cliff trying to run from it

Dies a lot tbh, and you see death messages you've never seen before because of that lol

Corrupt!Sydney makes their character twerk (crouch, un-crouch, repeat), laughs at it every time

Surprisingly good at building, recreates locations from their favorite books

Only really plays it when you guys play together, though

If you're gaming together at their house, Sirris pops in to check in on you guys at some point and pauses to smile at the heartwarming sight (as embarrassing as it may be for Sydney)

Kylar

"What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours? haha jk... unless?"

Has the most OVERKILL gaming PC setup you've seen (way too many screens, everything has lights, etc etc. looks pretty dope tbh)

Likes designing Minecraft skins! (there's like 10 separate skins of you in different outfits)

Plays heavily modded Minecraft, but will play vanilla or lighter mod packs with you

Definitely tried that one Girlfriend mod at some point

Has attempted a few speedruns (in the Top 10s for some of them!)

Gets SO excited when you tell them that you like Minecraft too (but it's not like they didn't know that already)

Alex

Doesn't have much time to play with their current workload

When they do, the most they do is play it as a farming sim (???) (you get them to explore more options to do in the game)

Becomes a BIG fan of parkour!

Downloads parkour + adventure maps so they can play it offline (farm WiFi can be unreliable)

Learns some basic redstone, mainly to improve their (in-game) farms

Automatic farms + mob grinders, though they still like the experience of doing it themself

Builds a Minecraft version of their real farm, excitedly shows it to you

Names some in-game farm animals after their siblings as a joke

Gwylan

Only plays offline because they live in The Forest ™️

Loves potion brewing! (they don't have an internet guide so they experiment with different combos all by themself, gets quite good at it)

Hoarder. Has so many items scattered across their chests, they forget what they do and don't have

Aesthetic matters to them a lot when choosing where to put their base + building it

Went to the End + defeated the dragon just to get the blocks there + the egg for decoration

1.17 (first part of the Caves And Cliffs update) is their favorite yet, all the new blocks and cave biomes make them go aaaaaaaaa

Felt so bad when they had to kill animals for food in the beginning, has a good farm system now though

Definitely keeps mobs you can't tame as pets

[unfortunate-songbird]

Can I have more information about your silles? (Ocs)

Yes yes yes absolutely I love you forever for asking

space gang!

Quill- he’s the team leader he’s the guy ever he was in college to be a marine biologist before he dropped out due to depression and joined the knockoff Star Wars Rebellion. His greatest fear is losing someone he loves to depression / general mental health but he gets so agitated whenever someone comes to him for help (and much of his worry manifests as anger) that it actually keeps people from reaching out to him. He’s obsessed with the Octonauts.

Em- she’s the muscle the brawler the ‘angry one’ as much as she wishes she wasn’t but it’s all she knows how to be. She has to hold grudges because if she doesn’t no one will and she’s always the last to leave any situation because she ran away once as a small child and lost everything. She’s said some unforgivably cruel things when she’s angry because she can’t think over the overwhelming urge to make someone else Hurt. She bullies people as a love language (both banter and actual physical rolling-on-the-ground tussling)

Owen- he’s the acrobat the gymnast the stealth the one in the rafters looking down. He spent his life alone and only recently discovered the joys of being a clown of being funny enough to finally have the attention he craves. He plays it up relentlessly but deep down he’s so scared he’ll end up too much and drive everyone away. He’s the youngest and the protected and it’s both gratifying and stifling. He’s cheeky he’s gullible one time he dyed Quill’s hair green and got away with it because no one suspected him.

Rowan- he’s a rich kid he’s a spy he’s the actor the infiltrator the rogue element the traitor. He decided to doom himself to a painful death rather than ask his friends for help. His natural posture is the letter C. He might be transfem but that won’t occur to him for many years because who has time for gender right now. He’s got a guilt complex. He’s a gay theater kid. He’s incredibly socially awkward. He doesn’t know who he is behind all the masks and is convinced he’ll never be more than his worst mistakes. He’s the reason the kitchen is equipped with four fire extinguishers.

Wedge- they’re the hacker the tech wizard. They’re not even all that good at computer stuff. They grew up as an Empire military kid and the guilt for still loving their family complicit in an evil system eats at them daily. They have ADHD. They’re terrified they’re going to let everyone down like they have all their life. Their family thinks they work at Space Walmart except Cousin Julia who knows what they are (rebel) and goes through Candace from Phineas and Ferb level shenanigans to expose them and it never works. They play Minecraft curled up in a kitchen cabinet. They got so worried about their abysmal pain tolerance and being the weak link that they briefly tried to blackmail Rowan into giving them lessons in torture resistance. They main Kirby in Smash Bros and suck at it.

the fantasy gang is unfortunately less developed but I’ll do my best

Alex- loser high schooler dies (cringe) and becomes a loser ghost. Died with a massive zit and now it’s part of his eternal appearance. No he’s not cripplingly lonely shut up.

Vida- your typical snarky unimpressed middle schooler. Misses her mom :( (died under mysterious circumstances and with a secret past). Secretly loves explosions and funky chemicals. Lowkey disappointed that Alex is just a dork teenager and not a proper gorey scary ominous ghost.

Jamie- Average tween girl likes 20 kinds of bugs is a statistical error. The average tween girl likes around 5 types of bugs (rolly pollies, butterflies, ladybugs, dragonflies, bees) Insects Jeorg who adores every single bug in existence is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

Evan- token cautious nerd. She couldn’t commit to one gender and you think he can make big plot important decisions? Massive fantasy book nerd but in the sense that she wants to stay Far Away from actual magic bc do you even know what happens to people in stories who mess with that kinda stuff?? Lifelong trauma at BEST.

Miko- your typical plucky orphan who lives in a magic boarding school learning to be a wizard. Absolute goober. >:D . They are party rockin in the house tonight. Surprisingly chill abt their home being invaded by Evil Conquering Anti-Magic Kingdom (lie). They’re so silly and that’s all dw about it.

Foaming at the mouth abt them they’re my sillies ❤️

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

so, the results.

congrats everyone, the lie was: there is no such thing as an enchantment table! technically. i realized i made a small error.

there is in fact a ghost guest character who appears to stobbles and block during the finale, and we know they’re probably real as their name appears in sevaris’ credits. however, neither block nor stobbles have posted their finales, and i don’t expect we’re getting them anytime soon, as it’s been three months since the last finale was posted. so for the time being- is rofo a real ghost? yeah, probably, but it’s very funny to believe he’s not.

bees plural may be an exaggeration, as we only ever see drift talk to one bee, but we know she can actually communicate with him as he snitches on block and stobbles for lying to her.

it is an ENTIRELY vanilla series until they fight “the night lich” to unlock the end portal, at which point they fight the dragon. i’m not sure what mod the night lich is from, but i am CERTAIN he’s not vanilla, lol.

most smps are kinda notorious for not featuring many women (*cough* dsmp *cough* hermitcraft). there are 8 cast members on bloodlines, 3 of whom are women, 4 of whom are men, and frog uses she/they pronouns and the only type of gender label i know they’ve used is “silly little frog”, so one silly little frog. with such a small cast of relatively small creators, the fact that almost half of them are women makes me so happy. let’s go!

the bloodlines cast are quite lacking in “basic” knowledge of minecraft, as they were all regular villagers before going on their adventures. they’ve never seen most of the biomes, they don’t know what enchanting is for a while, they’ve never heard of the end or the nether, etc. they figure out most of these things through the course of the series, but as far as i remember, they never get around to netherite because most of them are terrified of everything about the nether. most of them never even get to potions.

the enchantment table very much exists, and is very much a plot point, lol.

it is in fact one degree of separation from empires and hermitcraft! one of the guests on the server, BrunoDanUy, also did a video on the most recent minecraft april fools update with Ulraf, Pixlriffs, and Ethoslab! i’m pretty sure that’s how degrees of separation work. i hope i’m not wrong.

now, this is where i messed up- due to a series of shenanigans, almost every horse on the server is named micheal. however, i forgot about block’s horse, sir marshall, who is not named micheal (though it is quite close). but seeing as sir marshall is unceremoniously and accidentally murdered, every horse that’s still alive is named micheal, at least.

ok i saw other people doing this with their favorite smps so here’s one for my niche fav!

[teddy06writes]

A Day In The Life

requesred by this genius anon: “Aight imma hit you with a good one: Literally everything as platonic, but a day in the life of reader in high school with the minor gang (too my, tubbo, ranboo) and all the faculty at the school are dreamsmp members”

Platonic! Minors gang (tommy, tubbo, ranboo and purpled) x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: a day in the life of a student at the DSMP public high school 

{with all the shit that goes on the smp there's no way it could be anything but a public school}

{also if I do things slightly off or something its cause my high school is weird, we only have four blocks a day, but I think most have seven, so we’re going with that}

{also the dream/george thing, is based on two of the sciences teachers at my school being suspected of having an affiar}

{Full teacher list:

English: Mr. NotFound

Drama: Mr. Soot

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

Gym: Coach Sapnap and Coach Punz

Home ec: Miss Nihachu

Music: Mr. Quackity

Chemistry: Mr. Halo}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home room: Mr. Callahan

You sighed, trudging toward the school entrance, god it was way to early for this. 

The halls were already crowded with people heading to there home rooms, and Mr. Minecraft, the principal, was standing outside the admin offices, greeting everyone with a smile. 

“Good morning, (y/n).” 

“Good morning Mr. Minecraft.” You grumbled as you passed. 

You hurried through the foyer and up the stairs, toward Mr. Callahan’s room. 

“Hey!” Tubbo called, hurrying down the hallway, “(y/n)!”

“Hey Tubbo.” you yawned.

He fell into step with you, “You think Callahan will actually show today?” 

The one good thing about your home room teacher is that none of the kids ever seemed to have seen him. It meant that some days, while other home rooms had lectures of bullying or something, your class got to hang out for 30 minutes. 

“I don’t think he even exists.” Purpled said, falling in on your other side. 

“He definitely doesn’t.” You agreed. 

~~

History: Mr. Blade

“Hey (y/n)!” Ranboo called from his seat at the front of the room as you came in. 

He was lucky enough to have moved homerooms and ended up getting the same room as his first block. 

“Hello Ranboo.” you sighed, sitting down in your seat next to him. 

Tommy came in and plopped down behind you, “Well you sound like shit.”

“No swearing in my classroom, Tommy.” Mr. Blade chided, hardly looking up from the book on his desk. 

You turned to look at Tommy, “It’s too early for this.” 

“You say that everyday!” He laughed. 

“Yeah! Cause this class starts at 7:45 in the god damn morning!” You half exclaimed. 

“Bloody hell you’d think you’d get used to it-” 

“Tommy, what did I say about swearing?” Mr. Blade cut Tommy off. 

“But you didn’t yell at (y/n)!” Tommy yelled, “That’s not fair Tech!” 

Me. Blade glared at his brother, “Do you want me to send you down to Phil’s office Tommy?” 

“I didn’t even do anything!”

After a moment under Mr. Blades glare, Tommy sighed, “Please don’t send me down to Phil.” 

The teacher didn’t respond, instead standing up and moving to stand in front of the board, queuing up the intro slides for the day, “All right everyone, settle down. Today in our ‘tour of the ancient world’ or whatever, we’re going to start our mini unit on Greece.”

~~

Statistics/Math: Mr. Was Taken

After a class that ended mostly in a rant about the myth of Heracles, you said goodbye to Ranboo and Tommy and met up with Purpled to head to math. 

Mr. Wastaken was already passing out the notes when you two got there, sliding into your seats at the back of the classroom just as the bell rang. 

“You’re late.” He chided, dropping the papers onto your desk, then Purpleds. 

“Purp needed to refill his water bottle.” You explained. 

“Seriously?” Mr. Wastaken questioned, “Dude, it’s second block, why the hell was your water already empty?” 

Purpled shrugged, “P.E?” 

“Ehh, wrong, Sapnap doesn’t have you till sixth period.” 

“Stairs... are murder man.” He fumbled. 

You nodded, “First floor to the fourth floor is tough Mr. Wastaken.” 

Rolling his eyes, the teacher moved back to the front of the room, “Alright, last nights homework was a bit of a flop so we’ll be more review for the quiz tomorrow.” 

You groaned internally, pulling out your pencil. 

Purpled nodded, “I fuckin hate review days.” 

“I can hear you, you know!” Mr. WasTaken half yelled. 

~~

Chemistry: Mr. Halo

After Math you and Purpled headed down to the science hall to meet back up with Tubbo to head to Chem. 

“Welcome back everybody!” Mr. Halo greeted cheerily, “Good to see smiling faces for chemistry!” 

How he managed to stay so upbeat, no one would ever know.

You sat down at your lab table with Tubbo, “You think we actually make it to doing the lab today before he starts talking about Mr. Skeppy again?” 

“Oh no chance.” 

You chuckled, pulling out your notebook as Mr. Halo pulled up the opening review before the lab. 

Twenty minutes later found you elbow deep in the lab, quite literally. 

“It was supposed to just be a small scale elephants toothpaste!” Mr. Halo cried. 

Purpled grinned, “You should’ve taken my wildcard factor into account sir.” 

You laughed, wiping the foam off your apron (thank god for lab aprons), “That was brilliant!” 

A few minutes earlier, Tubbo had helped him do out the math to scale up the experiment by 20%, and you had willingly given up your own materials to help.

Now most of the classroom was covered in the foam, and Purpled and the girl who had been unfortunate enough to be partnered with him were knee deep in it. 

“I sent the video to the groupchat.” Tubbo whispered.

“Good.” You chuckled again. 

Mr. Halo groaned, “You three start cleaning this up, Elizabeth, dear, why don’t you join a different group.”

“I volunteer to switch with her!” Drista yelled, “they look like fun!” 

Mr. Halo sighed, “No- no absolutely not- I can’t deal with you added to the mix.” 

Drista pouted, the rest of the class went back to there work, and you, Tubbo and Purpled began to clean up the foam. 

~~

Drama: Mr. Soot

As Purpled left for his history class, you and tubbo headed twoard the music/performing arts suit, where you met up with Ranboo. 

“Tommy said he wished he could’ve been there to see the foam.” Ranboo reported as Tubbo peeled off into the band room, and you both continued on to the green room. 

“Hello, Hello, Hello!” Mr. Soot greeted in an aussie accent (you know the one). 

“Oh god please say were not doing accents today.” Ranboo muttered. 

Mr. Soot laughed, “Nah, we’re going to do some more rounds of improv.” 

“Oh thank god.” You said as you moved to take a seat at one of the side tables. 

“That would have been hell.” Ranboo agreed. 

More people poured into the room, take seats all around as Mr. Soot began to dig through on of the closets. 

As the bell rang he let out a triumphant cheer, turning around and brandishing a very large bowl of paper slips, “I found the prompts!” 

“Oh dear lord.” Ranboo muttered.

“Mr. Soot can we please do like, anything else?” You asked, “Like scenes, or hell I’d even take monologues, you know we’re all shit at improv!” 

The teacher sighed, “I suppose we could do something else. I guess we can begin our next topic, you’re all going to be assigned scenes and given time to practice them, we’ll present on Friday!” 

The entire class breathed a sigh of relief that you had managed to change his mind. 

~~ English: Mr. NotFound 

After a very chaotic lunch full of Tubbo retelling a bunch of jokes Mr. Quackity had told during music,  you trudged off to the one class that didn’t have any of your main group of friends in. 

The one good thing about having Mr. NotFound as a teacher was that he had no clue what he was doing. 

More often then not you would be left to do essays or read the required books, and then watch the movies that went along with them.

And, just your luck, your English block happened to take place during Mr. Wastaken’s prep period. 

“Right, everyone, today’s a work day, finish up anything you need to for this class, or another, and I’ll put on a movie.” Mr. NotFound said as soon as everyone was seated. 

Ten minutes into the movie the teacher had left, and you pulled up the group chat.

(y/n): Mr. NotFound has yet again suspiciously left during class. 

Purp: sus

Purp: just went by WasTaken’s room

Purp: he’s not there

BooBoy: I saw him down in the science hall ten minutes ago

BeEs: Science hall is oposite to English isn’t it

(y/n): yeah it is

BooBoy: very sus

Purp: I swear their having an affair

BeEs: defintly a lesbian

BeEs: *leassion

BeEs: lesion

BeEs: le-a-zon

BeEs: you know what I mean!

BooBoy: take your time Tubbo

You chuckled quietly, putting your phone down to look back up at the movie on the screen. 

~~

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

“AYYYY kids!”

You groaned as your Spanish teacher burst into the room.

“What is with this guy?” Tommy muttered. 

“ayy man not cool.” Mr. Dream said. 

“Mr. Dream your ten minutes late!” Someone pointed out. 

“SHut up man. And I told you just call me Mexican Dream!” The teacher said. 

You frowned, “That doesn’t make sense, theres no way your first name is ‘mexican’.” 

“Well its not,” He explained, “But its cause I’m the Mexican version of that math teacher!” 

“Why couldn’t I have taken French like Boo and Purp?” Tommy asked the ceiling quietly.

~~ Home ec: Miss Nihachu

The last block of the day was always the best, but not just because school would be over soon. 

There were three main reasons why everyone agreed it was the best. 

1. Miss Nihachu was the nicest teacher in school

2. baking was done often, and everyone always got to take some home

3. it was the one class you, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and Purpled all had together. 

Soon your found yourself crowded into one of the tiny kitchen areas with all your friends, as Miss Nihachu gave instructions. 

“Now, if you make a mess you will be cleaning it up! I’m looking at your kitchen a!” She said, half threateningly.

Ranboo pushed away from the group, “I’m not with them I swear!” 

Miss Nihachu rolled her eyes playfully, “Sure your not.” 

Surprisingly, a mess was not fully made. 

Somehow between Tommy wanting to taste the cookie dough at every step from butter to flour, Tubbo trying to add as many chocolate chips as he could, and Purpled all but refusing to move from where he was sitting on the counter, you and Ranboo managed to get the cookies into the oven with no real disasters. 

As you wiped down the empty counter space you sighed, “That wasn’t too bad.” 

“Yeah.” Tubbo agreed. 

Tommy only nodded, still eating the large glob of cookie dough he’d stolen. 

Ten minutes before the bell rang and when everyone was supposed to be finishing cleaning up you sniffed the air suspiciously, “Why do I smell burning?” 

Tubbo took a deep breath, “I smell it too.”

“Oh yeah, something is definitly burning.” Ranboo agreed. 

You whirled to face Purpled, who was absently scrolling through his phone, “Purp you did set a timer right?” 

[fluffywing-e-tarot]

Hybrid traits

Part 1

Tommy woke with his back cramping. it was the middle of the night and Tommy couldn’t find a comfortable position to go back to sleep again. But with the school semester starting tomorrow Eret had sent all of the kids to bed early.

However with Tommy’s back fuck’n cramping and shit He’d need something to help him fall asleep. Tommy rolled out of bed  and looked over at Purpled side of the room and saw his sleep partner wrapped in a cocoon. As much as Purple says that he hates confined spaces he hates the lack of warmth while he sleeps more. with purple coiling himself in blankets to fall asleep in.

Tommy opened the door running head first into someone taller than him. Tommy looked up and locked eyes with glowing purple and teal eye. Tommy jumped back a moment thinking it was an Enderman but the ‘Enderman’ blinked  and tommy recognized them as Ranboo.

“Ranboo you ass go back to sleep.” Tommy said rubbing his face in his hands. gods he was so tiered but his back was killing him.  

“⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⏃⍀⟒ ⊬⍜⎍ ⎅⍜⟟⋏☌ ⎍⌿, ⏁⍜⋔⋔⊬.”Ranboo said from his throat and chirped it was undeniably ender.

“And your talking in Ender too, Fuck.” Tommy grabbed the Taller boy hand “Come on Ender boy let’s get you back to Tubbo.’ Tommy knew that his best friend was far more familiar with dealing whit the ender-side of his husband. Tommy knocked twice on the Bee n’boo door.

“Ranboo come in.” Tubbo replied. Tommy opened the door. Tommy saw Tubbo awake as well. Tubbo was clutching his head.

“Hay big T what are you doing up?” Tubbo greeted.

“Back is hurting like hell. I found your Husband outside my door.” Tommy lead the confused boy to Tubbo.

“Same but it’s where my Horns use to be.” Tubbo said.  grabbing his husbands other Hand. Ranboo sat down on the Bed Chirping coming from him. “ They hurt like Bee stings so I sent Ranboo out to get some Ice.”

“Wait you said where your Horn’s where?”

“Yeah.” Tubbo said. Pulling his hair back he winced a bit as his fingers ran over the sore place. But Tommy could see two bumps coming from Tubbo’s head. 

“Could I be growing my Wings in.” Tommy said out loud in thought

“What?”

“Hear me out, what If we’re getting our Hybrid Traits.” Tommy said

Tubbo’s eyes Widened. "That mean’s that this world and ours are becoming closer together."

"What?" Tommy asked "⍙⊑⏃⏁?!" Ranboo chirped.

"Think about it. This world MLG don't exist but last year you where able to do one." Tubbo said "Last year we were able to make our first brewing Stand because blazes started appearing in the Fortresses."

It was starting to make scene the Wizarding World was becoming more like the world they came from.

"Hybrids never existed in this world until Eret and Bad Arrived here via summoning." Tommy said. He rolled his shouldered and he was starting to feel the familiar sensation of wings. “Well unless you consider Hagrid a Hybrid.”

"Well I think that's enough theorizing for tonight you should probably get some regen and pain reliever in you." Tubbo said. Tommy wined that his friend was ignoring him but complied and when off to bed after taking some drugs.

The morning came and with the enlightenment that his wings that he dearly missed for the past few years. Tommy stretching his phantom wings and practiced some wing beat getting his body use to the idea of being an Avian. He was in the middle of his stretches when Purple woke up.

Well woke up being the gentle term for Purple's scream. Tommy leapt to the bed and pulled the Wool covers.

"Purp come on focus." Tommy shouted. Purple was twisting within the blankets. Every tug of progress Tommy would make was squandered by Purple coiling tighter in the cloth. Tommy freeing Purple's arm was the best he could do. Purpled arm flailed nails digging into Tommy's body where ever he could reach.

Tommy realized as the sharp nails dug into his cheek. Purpled Hybrid traits where coming in. Tommy switched his tactics to retraining

"Shit. A little help here!" Tommy shouted into the house. Tommy heard the rushing steps of someone. He was busy enough with preventing Purpled from hurting the both of them.

"Tommy what is it." Eret asked from the door. Seeing tommy Grappled with Purpled. Who was clawing the air. Attempting to claw at Tommy.

"His getting his dragon traits. Help me."

Understanding the situation now, Eret moved. He pulled out some Shears and cut into the blanket. Freeing Purple's legs kick in the same moment where restrained. With a swift tug with his other hand purpled Pants where off of his bumb enough for the tail to grow out with out tearing the sleep wear. Eret knew Purple was well known for his intimidating horns and his battle tactics with his tail. Eret heard a Roomer that Purple didn't have wings but he didn't want to risk it.

"Tommy cut into the shirt just incase wings come out." Eret handed over the shears. And started to get a better grip on Purpled. Tommy cut down the shirt and just in time as a set of wings tore out of Purple's back. Tommy let go as one of them hit him.

Purple's Tail and horns fallow soon after. Eret catches Purple as all of the fight leaves him. Blood covers Purple's body. Purple shivers in Eret's arms. Eret cradled the boy’s body.  Rubbing circles between the wing blades.

"Tommy go get some regen and a some warm water" Tommy nodded and ran out of his room.

"Morning Tommy." Bad said. He was in the kitchen. Tommy's brain was running high on adrenalin.

" I need Bucket. Purple's Dragon came in." Tommy ran to the potion barrel that had healing an regen potion. He touched them into his inventory. Tommy ran past the Kitchen and garbed the bucket of water continuing to run back to his room.

"Tommy where are the..." Eret began to shout. Tommy running in to the room. Right as Eret began to look.

"I'm here. I'm here." Tommy said. He tossed the inventory compressed bucket at Eret. Eret returned the Bucket to its original Size Tommy had garbed cloth rags from the barrel that was in the medical barrel.

"I've never seen fully developed parts spring out before." Eret said.

"Could it be that because the worlds where separate and now they’re merging. Our traits have only been delayed until our world and this became more similar?” Tommy asked “Me and Tubbo where disusing it last night.”

“Was Purple awake at all?” Eret asked. Started to clean up the blood and wounds.

“He was out curled in the blanket cocoon you helped get him out of.” Tommy said 

“Well Purple is staying home.” Eret said.

“What why dose Purple get to stay home and I have to go to school.” Tommy Wined. Eret gave Tommy and unimpressed stare.

“How do you suggest on Purple going to the station?”

Tommy was about to say Carry him but then he remembered that the Wizarding world and Minecraft where merging.  There was always the Oddity that you couldn’t Carry your friends. You could push them around when they weren't moving but not carry them. It was terrifying thought that that function of this world might be overwritten.

“Fine.” Tommy said

A Father once more

Star Gazing

Hybrid traits: Part 2

[votederpycausemufins]

-Smiles widely at the camera that exists somewhere- Ah Grumbot, I’m so glad I remembered to add you in here.

@petrichormeraki

With the arrival of Mumbo and the bots, Grian and Tommy tried to introduce everyone to each other, but another message came in from Scar about doing paperwork with a mention that Iskall was there for the paperwork with Fundy. Immediately Mumbo flew off back towards the shopping district, Tommy barely getting the chance to cover Tubbo’s ears. Tubbee, who had also been brought down from the apiary floor, used Jrumbot as something to hide behind.

“Sorry about that. Iskall is just not the best at reading contracts and Scar likes to hide things in there for fun. If Mumbo hadn’t beat me to it, I would have gone instead since it’s quieter.”

“He forgot Tubbee doesn’t like fireworks.” Jrumbot spoke, petting the mob. 

“Exactly. Your dad can be very forgetful in the moment.”

Grumbot looked towards Tubbo and then took a few steps towards him. “You act like Tubbee. You must be President Tubbo. It is nice to meet the whole of you.”

Tubbo, who was trembling a little bit even though the sound had been muffled, looked down at Grumbot. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell him that part yet.” Tommy quickly explained to his nephew.

“I see. It is something from what your admin did. In creating your ‘canon lives’ he made it so when you lost one, a part of your being would be broken off and cast somewhere else. I am not sure what happened to your other part as I do not have that information, but one did end up within this bee as it first spawned.”

Tubbo looked at the bee in Jrumbots arms and then smiled. “Perfect. Always wanted to be a bee.”

Jrumbot looked between Tubbo, Tommy, Tubbee and Grumbot. “Is Tubbee my uncle then?”

Grian picked Jrumbot up. Grumbot had gotten more of the smarts since he was built to be a computer to answer their questions. Took a little more after Mumbo that way. Jrumbot on the other hand had originally just been made to help sell stuff and was created on the younger side, so he wasn’t as smart. In fact, he was more like Grian if his affinity for shears, especially near his one dad’s mustache was anything to go by.

“Well, Tubbo is your uncle’s friend, maybe even an honorary uncle at that. And Tubbee isn’t quite the same. Besides, I don’t think Tubbee will mind if you don’t call him your uncle.”

Grumbot walked over to Philza. “You are Philza Minecraft. Former king of the Antarctic Empire and my dad’s father, making you my grandfather.” He then looked at Techno. “You are Technoblade, former prince of the Antarctic Empire and also seem to loathe all forms of government. We will not get along.”

Techno looked down at Grumbot with a neutral expression. “Smart kid.”

“Grumbot, how did you know that about your uncle?”

“The mayoral reservoirs of course. He would have been a danger to the mayoral campaign if he appeared.”

Grian stared his son down. “Are you telling me the entire time you knew about Techno.”

“Not his location, but I was aware of his character and other general knowledge.” Grian looked like he was about to blow a gasket. “Of course, you never asked, so I didn’t assume you wanted to know.”

“Grumbot, when we get home, only your brother is getting a diamond.”

Grumbot stared at his dad before saying a single word. “Fuck.”

Tommy smiled. He had taught his nephew well.

With a break in the conversation, Tubbo spoke up. “Well, I mean Philza has sort of been acting as my dad.”

That immediately grabbed Grian’s attention. “Why?”

“Well, I’m not sure exactly what happened. One moment I was in the car with my dad, next thing I know, I’m in a box on the side of the road.”

“Your dad abandoned you?”

“What? No! He would never!”

“Hey G, might be like what happened to you?” Tommy suggested. There was a pause where everything was quiet before suddenly Grian changed to have six purple eyes. “Grian! No!”

Grian closed them and crossed his arms as best as he could while still holding Jrumbot. “What’s the point of being a Watcher if I can’t actually be one.”

“You almost killed everyone a few hours ago.”

“Dad almost killed someone?” Jrumbot asked, looking worried. Grian shifted him to one arm so he could pat his son and comfort him.

“Yeah, things got crazy for a bit. That’s why we wanted you staying in the hobbit tunnels. Did you at least have fun there?”

The question cheered Jrumbot up. “Yeah! We made more tracks for jousting!” Jrumbot continued to talk about what he and Grumbot had been doing when a message came in on the comms “Dad, Daddy wants your help with Scar.”

Grian sighed. “Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to get that paperwork done. Hey Tommy, where’s your nether portal?”

Tommy led everyone down to the second floor and through a nether portal. Though Tubbo had already been there with Fundy, the rest hadn’t and were surprised by the builds that were in the nether.

“How did you do all of this?!” Wilbur asked, surprised. “We barely had stuff like this in the overworld!”

“It’s actually not that big compared to last season. We use the roof more and everyone has their own separate builds.” Grian’s family tried to resist the urge to shake him and or kill him at how normal he was making it sound. “I’ll have to show you the upside down later.”

Though it took a few small bridges here and there, it was rather quick getting them all back to the shopping district. As the portal was right under the town hall, the group was greeted by music as they came through back into the overworld.

“Is he wasting it on paperwork again?!” Grian asked incredulously to no one in particular. “This isn’t going to help us at all!”

“It actually makes sense this time as there is the potential consideration of people from here and the smp moving between each other.” Grumbot explained, making sure to glare down his anarchist uncle the entire time. “All the proper forms would need to be done to keep Hermitcraft safe from people willing to destroy it.”

“I’m going in there.” Tommy spoke up, quickly leaving the others behind. Just a moment later, he walked back out with papers in his hand. “I think these mean he doesn’t want to see us right now.”

“What exactly is going on?” Philza asked.

At the same time, Grian and Tommy gave an answer. “Superfast build mode.”

“What?”

“Scar uses vex magic to help speed himself up to do lots of work in a small amount of time. Usually he uses it for building, but recently he’s also been using it for all his mayor work.”

“I… see.”

“Anyway, Grumbot, can you look at the paperwork?” Grian took the papers from Tommy’s hands and gave them to his son. The robot rapidly read through all the papers at a speed that could potentially rival Scar’s own current speed.

“It’s really bad this time. Paying him diamonds, work clauses, extreme zoning laws for temporary housing. You can only grow wheat and chorus fruit, I’m assuming that’s actually a mistake.”

Tommy smiled. “You wanna go in there and fix it.”

Even if they wouldn’t all admit it, the smp members all had a shiver go down their spines as Grumbot spoke coldly and his screen face turned red. “Very much so.” And then he walked up the stairs to the town hall.

“Is he going to kill your mayor?” Wilbur asked, but Grian shook his head.

“No, he only was that serious the first time they met after we finally built his body. It’s only ever near deaths at most. I’m actually wondering if we have more elections if everyone will let Grumbot run.”

“I certainly won’t be giving him permission.” Came Mumbo’s voice as he exited town hall with Iskall and Fundy behind him. “Artificial life or not, he is still considered a child. And Tommy has given him too many ideas. Scar might be exiled for a few days.”

Techno looked like he was about to speak, but was shushed by Philza. 

“Techno, I know you don’t seem to like the government and all, but it works here. I’ve seen hundreds of worlds, so I know how it can all fall apart, but we have literally been doing this for years with not a single problem.”

“Grian.”

“With only one single problem.”

“Grian!”

“Okay, I cause the problems. Mostly. But Tommy helps me with that! But we only very minorly grief and even then it’s extremely rare. And we definitely don’t steal. It’s mainly harmless pranks like chickens everywhere or hiding something in your base that makes noises and you can’t find it.”

“Or secret base bros.” Tommy added in, making Grian look a little confused.

“Yeah, though we stopped doing that ages ago.”

“Or did we?” Tommy asked, somehow looking very racoonish.

Grian looked at his brother. “Okay, concerning, but we can talk about that later.” He turned back to the rest of his family. “In the meantime, I think we should have the discussion I think we’ve all been avoiding a little. Is it just going to be visits, or are you guys actually deciding to move here?”

“What do you mean? You’re not coming with us?” Philza asked, making Grian frown.

“No, of course not. No offense to your home, but it’s a bit of a mess and I’m not sure I could live there without losing my mind. I’m sure that eventually things will calm down, but I’m sure I couldn’t even make half a hobbit hole before it got messed with in some way. Visits are of course on the table, but I’m not going to be staying.”

“But you’ll just be by yourself again.”

“Um…” Tommy started to say, drawing attention over to him. “I’m actually going to mostly stay here. I know Dream is gone and Tubbo’s in charge now, but I just don’t think I can go back there just like that.”

Tubbo hugged Tommy and then Grian pulled the two of them into a hug with his wings. When Philza tried to take a step forward, Grian glared at him. “No. You were part of the problem. You don’t really deserve this right now.”

Mumbo went over to try and comfort Grian, but just ended up making him more agitated. Iskall pulled his fellow redstoner back then tried to change the topic. “So, Fundy, you said you’re Wilbur’s kid. That makes you Grian’s nephew, doesn’t it? That means you have cousins.”

“I do?” The fox hybrid asked before he was tackled by Jrumbot.

“Hi! I’m Jrumbot! Grian and Mumbo are my dads! My brother went in there to talk to Scar, so you may have seen him.”

“Yeah! I did! Wow! This is the best day of my life! I mean, other than the whole going to war part, but everything else was great! New family, hopefully a better server, and I got to hang out with Iskall!”

“That sounds amazing! I got to meet Tubbo! He’s just as fun as Tubbee!” Jurmbot said, happy to share about his day to a new face.

“They seem to get along just fine.” Iskall chuckled. The comment seemed to help Grian relax a bit and he reluctantly released Tommy and Tubbo from his wings.

“Look dad, I’m happy I found you after all these years. But you being my dad doesn’t change the things I saw you do. You sided with people, not ideas, and because of that you would change what you stood for on a moment's notice just to side with someone you cared about. But that hurt others you cared about at the same time. I’ve been hurt enough in my life. Tommy has too. Things here are safe and stable and even then we don’t always have the best days. I don’t normally curse, but it should get the point across. I am terrified of getting close to you right now and you finding a way to fuck up out lives.”

Mumbo and Iskall shared a look. While it might not get through to the newcomers, they had known Grian long enough to know just how serious he was being. They had both seen just how bad it could get for Grian and Tommy and how helpless they felt sometimes when trying to help the brothers.

Philza was quiet for a while before giving a simple understanding nod. “Thanks dad.”

“Well Grian, I’m sure that it’s been a long day for everyone. I’m sure people are tired and hungry and there’s plenty of paperwork to do. How about once Grumbot is finished, we head over to my Hobbit hole for some food.”

Grian smiled at Mumbo. “That sounds nice. Dinner with the whole family!”

Everyone was pleasantly surprised when they saw Mumbo’s hobbit hole. It was a much more reasonable size. They hadn’t seen Mumbo’s real base quite yet though, so they assumed this was it. It was still quite large from the bumbo baggins society expansion, but that meant plenty of room for everyone to sit at for a meal. 

While there was plenty of variety, golden carrots were the most plentiful and they were gladly eaten for their high saturation. The visitors from the SMP tried not to stare as the bot children were given bowls of nether quartz and red stone to eat. It was hard to even comprehend how they were eating at all as their heads were just computer monitors yet somehow it just worked.

A cake was placed on the table as a joke for all the birthdays everyone had missed but they ended up actually singing. Following that, the dreaded paperwork began, though it was easier to handle now that everyone had a slice of the delicious treat.

While Philza, Wilbur, Techno and Fundy signed paperwork for simply visiting Hermitcraft, Tubbo signed one for visits and for residency. “Tubbo, are you planning to stay?” Tommy asked when he noticed the papers in front of his friend. 

“Well… I would like to. This place seems so nice… but with me being admin now, I need to help the smp. But maybe I can have extended stays in the future.”

Grian looked at Tubbo sympathetically. “Tubbo, you don’t have to be the admin. I’m sure you can find someone you trust enough to move the powers to if you want to stay here.”

“But you made me admin.”

“You were nearby and I knew you probably wouldn’t do anything horrible as admin, but you don’t have to keep them. You are still a kid. You don’t need to keep that responsibility if you want something else.” When Tubbo didn’t look convinced, Grian sighed. “If you want, we can make someone else admin, and if it doesn’t work, you just call me over and I’ll take them away again.”

“Grian, there’s a good chance you could kill someone doing that.”

“And I wouldn’t regret it!”

“Yes you would.”

“Okay maybe.”

Mumbo just gave a very tired sounding sigh.

As dinner was wrapping up, Grian pulled Grumbot over to a side room. “Alright, you were able to help Tommy out with Tubbo and apparently you knew more about Techno than you were going to tell me.”

“That is true.” Grumbot answered. “But you two build me the way you did.”

“I know, and I really regret it.” Grian pulled out a diamond. “Grumbot, do you know anything about Tubbo’s dad?”

Grumbot took the diamond and then processed the question. He was silent for a few long moments, making Grian start to believe that there was nothing Grumbot could find on the man. But just as he was losing hope, Grumbot spoke again.

“He’s called The Captain.”

[rejectclone]

Even though I’ve never played Minecraft EVER in my life, since Steve got in smash I tried learning some general stuff about the series on the wiki and apparently there’s no ‘real’ lore to him??? I tried making some headcanons at least since I genuinely like the character potential he has!

* Steve seemed to originate out of virtually nowhere, just being spotted by some villagers one day and he seemed to just set up camp nearby, soon making a small house of his own.

* He is mute, but is still capable of writing in English and communicating with ASL. Unfortunately for him, villagers and other sentient humanoid species do not comprehend his hand gestures, and thinks he’s just messing around with them, much to his dismay.

* As for how he learned how to write and use ASL, he oddly doesn’t seem to remember. He assumes he learned it from his parents, and yet he doesn’t even remember their own faces.

* He claims that he is a orphan, as most of his childhood memories seem to be in a haze, and his stronger memories seem to exist from his mid-teenage years as he was already living off the land on his own.

* He is gifted in both mining and construction, and likes to dabble in alchemy. However he is still a rookie at it, and has accidentally ruined many important items by trying to place enchantments upon them.

* He doesn’t really have that many hobbies, as he’s always focused on maintaining his home, crops, animals, and safety, which is a constant 24/7 endeavor. Later on after exploring more villages and learning new lifestyle related information, he has taken up reading as a small hobby. This is where he first learned of preforming alchemy, as he once thought it was impossible to learn if you weren’t ‘gifted’ with it.

* He has seen his fair share of mobs, but the ones that seem to ALWAYS rock him to his core are oddly enough, the zombies. He claims that every time he even glances at one, he feels extreme discomfort. Perhaps it has to deal with most zombies originating of supposed human origin, and their uncanny valley-ness getting to his mind.

* Zombies honestly may be the closet thing to ‘other human beings’ in the area, as Steve seems to be the odd one out in terms of species. Villagers, Illagers, Endermen, and other sorts are in abundance, but not his own kind. He tries to not let this go to his head, but there has been plenty of nights of him suffering from touch-deficiency and total isolation.

* Even though he may be seen as a outsider to many, nobody can deny how much of a optimist he is. Constantly beaming with joy and always willing to help, he has become well known for being one of the most incredibly helpful people out there.

* However it is quite rare in which he comes off as incredibly stoic and even morose. When like this, the metaphysical aura he gives off is immediately powerful and extremely unsettling, to the point some usually hyper aggressive hostile mobs seem to notice this and actually leave him alone.

* Genuinely did not know WHAT a cake was. Learned about it and tried it for the first time from a farmer villager, and has been completely enamored since. Has developed a bit of a sweet tooth from consuming too much after learning about it, and now tries to eat cake moderately. He also enjoys pumpkin pie, but only during the fall months since it feels ‘more cozy feeling’. Ironically not a huge fan of cookies, and prefers the chocolate in them to be used in cakes.

* His favorite mobs to interact with are most of his own livestock! He owns pigs, cows, sheep, donkeys, and even a rabbit! However, chickens might be his top favorite, and thankfully he doesn’t really eat them and instead just takes advantage of their eggs and how fun and enjoyable it is to maintain them. Later on as he saw parrots for the first time in person, he has been in absolute love with them!

* Even though he does keep and maintain livestock, he is petrified by the concept of keeping a permanent house pet. He has actually tamed some wolves and cats in the past, but has endured too much heartbreak when they are accidentally killed when trying to defend him when undead mobs attack near their home. He always breaks down when burying their remains.

* He does own a horse, but is wary of using it since the last thing he wants to do is accidentally overstrain it and cause it any harm. He still cannot bear to see any more animals under his care go through any pain for him.

* He keeps a small beehive near his house, as he enjoys how their pollination leads to some beautiful flowers sprouting up around his home. He sometimes harvests their honey, but has been stung so many times that he’s not really willing to harvest honeycombs again. It took him quite some time to realize that he needed to use a campfire to calm the bees down, as before he just literally shoved his arm in the hive to get honeycombs.

* He will sometimes try to add new flowers that he discovers from his travels to his home’s makeshift garden, but eventually he really started to put more effort in having a visually pleasing garden and not just having a mess of various plants and flowers.

* Kinda thinks Creepers are cute, but is equally scared of their odd ability to explode violently. He has tried many times to tame them but always inadvertently scares them, soon prompting their unfortunate demise. He still has hope for possibly meeting a non-exploding Creeper one day, but will still keep his distance out of fear.

* He is a good swimmer, capable to dive to considerable depths, but refuses to go down to the deeper parts of the ocean such as the surface floor. Mainly out of concern from accidentally drowning by not being able to make it to the water’s surface in time, and also his distaste for looking at the Drowned as they also give him that ‘off’ feeling.

* He doesn’t mind crafting potions when needed, but feels like most of the time they’re quite unnecessary as they mainly take away the trill and inherent danger of exploring. He will cave in however and will use the Potion of Water Breathing and the Potion of Fire Resistance when he knows he’s heading into some riskier areas.

* As for how Steve met Alex, it was quite sudden actually. He was just out exploring when he saw them hunting in the distance, stalking some Skeletons. He assumed at first it was just some brave Villager, but soon noticed how their physical proportions seem to mirror his. After realizing that they ARE human, he was too shy and terrified to actually go up to them and introduce himself. What if they thought he was a creepy stalker? Or a Pillager?! It seems to be fate however when Alex was soon cornered and he threw himself into the fray to help. After the fight, the two awkwardly interacted, as Alex does speak English but didn’t realize that Steve was mute. Since then the two have interacted more and more, showing to each other their homes and various bases, along with trading goods and their own life stories to pass the time together. He does hold some romantic feelings for Alex, but holds it inside of him as he fears that expressing his love would inadvertently scare them away.

* His body is wracked with scars, all from various accidents and misadventures. Strangely however, he does have some scars that would only be created from fatal wounds, such as a arrow entry-wound scar directly over where his heart should be, or odd deep bite wounds around his neck. Steve always seems to shrug these scars off and claim that they’re usually from falling debris when mining, but it seems unlikely.

* He claims that he tends to suffer from randomly occurring nightmares, all ending in brutal deaths such as being burned alive in lava or being ripped to shreds by zombies. If you were to ask what happened before these events, he will explain that it feels ‘just like any other day’ before the death happens. He is completely oblivious to the fact that after each nightmare, a new scar seems to appear on his body.

* Sometime after Steve ‘moved in’ to the area, there has been some strange rumors of another human, a unusually hostile human..... Some Villagers claim it is a near splitting image of Steve, but they refuse to believe it’s him. After all, why would he become so....... brutal..... The few that managed to observe this human usually claim that his body is usually drenched in his own gore from being mauled, charred beyond belief, riddled with arrows and weapons still lodged in their flesh, or even fully drenched in seawater with them perpetually vomiting it and blood out. Others claim that this human has no pupils or iris, just a unsettling white void that almost appears ethereal-like.

* When addressing Steve about this odd human lurking around in this area, he is actually quite curious yet afraid about it. He met Alex by chance, as they’re more of a free roaming explorer, so perhaps this new human is akin to Alex’s more extreme traveling lifestyle? He does agree however on their reported violent behavior to be..... deeply unsettling....... setting Illagers on fire to only chop up their corpses in the end, disfiguring and torturing Witches with their own potions, purposely corralling Creepers together to cause a horrible chain reaction to occur that deeply scars the ground, drowning Endermen and proceeding to gouge out their eyes after the deed has been done......... certainly dark actions for a twisted individual. Steve thinks they might be observing him, as he has found trails of blood and other various fluids leading up to his house’s door every few days. He can only hope that if they were to meet one fateful day, he would be spared.

[queensparklekitten]

favourite anons in no particular order: 

-the one who kept giving me fruit

-the ghost who played minecraft with me, kept fading in and out of existence, transported me to another dimension, and told me they weren’t always a ghost and they miss the stage and when i asked them what happened they suddenly got torn away from me and i got a transmission from some Unknown who told me to cease contact with them and i could occasionally hear their voice through the transmission asking where they were and i haven’t seen them since nor have i gotten any more info from Unknown despite making it very clear i am refusing to leave until i get my ghost friend back 

-the anon who ate a fortune book, made a cake out of bees, put it in an igloo, and cut it to reveal a 3x3 dirt house, which they then expanded into a mansion and filled with beehives and cake, and then we went to a lush cave, at which point an axolotl gave me a cake containing a 3x3 dirt house and then we had a picnic and it danced and made me a flower crown

-��damn girl are you a spiral avatar because I wanna get lost in those hallways if you know what I mean” 

-the one who mixed a ton of minecraft potions and chugged it all at once, then gave me some, added a spectral arrow, and was the reason i proceeded to eat redstone and magma cream, XP points, and 3 bowls of suspicious stew before charging into a fortress with no plan and slapdash armor and defeating a shitload of monsters while completely disconnected from reality 

-the one with the weather conditions including coffee, peanuts, birds, solar eclipse, reverb, sun 2, coffee 2, coffee 3s, and blooddrain 

-“No God worth respecting would ever give infinite punishment for finite sin. So either we get out of hell eventually, or God is evil and we overthrow him.”

-the one who tied a pair of baby brown mooshrooms to a fencepost near my house so i could have plenty of soup 

[truamatized-kids-writes]

A New Home

Prologue This has been uploaded on a03 and yes we are the original writers  Dec. 13. 2021

“Well then, Tubbo, do you have everything we need?”

"I think? I've got food, beehive's nukes and a few other things we'll probably need"

“Yeah yeah, you and your goddamn Bee’s, where the hell is “Ranboo?”

"Last I'd seen he was on his way here? Maybe he got distracted or something?"

“Probably, fuckers distracted by anything and everything, we should probably go look for him if he doesn't show up in the next 12 minutes or something, god knows what could happen to him around here”

"That's true things have gone to shit at this point, besides we need to leave as soon as possible"

“Yeah no shit, all of L’manburg is gone at this point, Dream’s beyond insane, Ghostbur want’s to bring back fucking Wilbur, it’s a mystery what happens next”

"Yeah yeah I get it Cut the existential dread let's go look for Ranboo, and grab the jukebox and whatever things we've got left"

“Yeah yeah, shut it Bee boy I’m going, still can’t believe we’re actually going through with this though. Though it is to be expected at this point, we all know what happened last time we thought about this and didn’t actually do it”

"Then we still had something to actually work towards now let's go"

◦╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌𓂂꒰𖥸꒱𓂂╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌◦◦╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌𓂂꒰𖥸꒱𓂂╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌◦

Tommyinnit has died from lightning

Tubbo_ went out with a bang

Ranboo drowned trying to escape Elder Guardian

◦╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌𓂂꒰𖥸꒱𓂂╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌◦◦╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌𓂂꒰𖥸꒱𓂂╌╌≺ ೃ≻╌╌◦

The death of the three shook many and gave a slight moment of clarity for those taken by surprise. One of the first reactions was from Sam he seemed so lost and confused by the events that had taken place , he tried messaging the three Individually and with no answer he panicked looking into what's now L'mancrater ever so shook and lost, he was just getting to know the kids, what a week ago and now they're gone?

Silence ran through the air the second the death messages were sent out, a lone father, if you could even call him that anymore, stood on an obsidian grid, re-reading the message over and over again. Philza Minecraft, a man who once had Three sons, now left with one, now left to face the consequences of his actions. Phil knew none of the kids would be happy after what he had done, but he though it had to be done, he thought that the Smp could go back to being just an Smp without L’manburg, he didn’t think he’d be left to mourn with only one son left out of the three he once knew and loved.

Things were hushed as the large demi-god sheltered his father/mother from the explorations. When the chaos finished he frantically checked his communicator to see what damage had been done, the once was god of death(?) And reincarnation (?) was in tears. This wasn't meant to happen , he wasn't meant to lose them this soon. The messages of the three deaths sent anger, greif, and sadness throughout the demi-god causing him to shout out in frustration. The three boys he'd gotten so used to talking to, giving gifts, and seeing them sneak around his builds, gone all so suddenly with out a chance to say anything, it pissed him off, he'd lost a sibling and two close friends this day and he didn't intend to let their names go down in vain.

The mother, being protected by her son saw the messages, one among the first to see them just the look fo them brought her to tears. They couldn't be real, they just couldn't she thought as she read over the messages herself over and over frantically before it finally set in and brought her to hysterical sobs.They were gone.. She couldn't help them now, her bee loving son, his rowdy swearing friend, and the quiet forgetful boy they'd drag along with them. This small ragtag group of friends gone, she hoped begged even for her son Foolish to tell her it wasn't true, but she could see it the grief in his eyes, yet somehow she felt it her fault. She should've been there for the three, she should be been the one. Defending then this entire time, looking around this crater she knew what had come of the smp. With the three gone there would be no more scolding them to leave the kitchen as she made dinner or telling the three about the pirate adventures she remembered, there would be none of it. No more laughter from the kids. It broke her but she knew someone had to step up and at least be some sort of light or joy in this time of need, and that would be her, no matter how broken she was she'd do it.

Then, there was one person who could never seem to remember what had occurred on that day. The day of Doomsday, the ghost of the server known as Ghostbur had lost two brothers, and someone he was still getting to know. Once he received the news, blue started pouring from the poor ghost’s eyes, instantly becoming a dark royal blue the second it touched his ‘skin’.

Ghostbur may not be able to remember a lot about Tommy, but he and Alivebur really cared about him, the same goes for Tubbo and Ranboo. The ghost just held blue and cried for as long as he could before melting in the rain and waking up back in the sewer, forgetting everything that happened the day prior, along with the fact that the three youngest on the server were forever gone.

The girl with the flowers , when she saw the death messages she wasn't sure what to feel, glee, anger, sadness? She felt this odd moment of clarity, it was foggy but before she knew it she was crying , there weren't any words as she looked up to the rain, the tears and water mixing as she grinned, a look of both sadness and madness on her face as she choked on non-existent words. The thought of wanting to laugh and cackle at the three deaths crossed her, but so did the thought of standing there rain the rain grieving a shouting to the sky in anger and sadness crossed too. She felt so many mixed emotions that she didn't know what to do. While she wanted to grieve and hurt like everyone else she had left to care about, she just couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t shed a single tear that would mean anything, she was upset, so why couldn’t she show it?

The piglin up on the obsidian grid noticed his fathers sudden look of despair and checked his communicator, the deaths only two had a lasting impact on the piglin. Tommy , dead, it shook him, he expected something a little more dignified for the boy he called Thesus. His stone heart nearly split in two reading the message, why him? Sure he was annoying as all hell but the boy deserved greatness , glory, to be on the winning side of the battle for once. He wished to give it to him , but he couldn't any more. Tubbo's message hardly affected him , sure he was a kid but he also at one point was a government and had tried to execute him as well, there's no reason in worrying over someone you don't care about. Though the same couldn't be said for Ranboo. Ranboos death caught him off guard. He didn't know them too well but he was getting to know him, this kid despite how cold he was and how often he pushed them away came back, happily and even gave him a gift. A life lost is a life lost but this one he'd mourn just like Tommy's the two would most certainly get a memorial at the house of the blade,

Then, you had the one behind the chaos, the one who caused everything, the man, the myth, the legend, Dream. The one person left who felt nothing but pure glee, the one who wanted those damn kids gone from the beginning, Tommy being gone would be a bit of a setback, but it could be dealt with. Dream didn’t care as long as the other two were gone, However, Dream isn’t as naive, he isn’t one to believe so quickly. Dream knew those kids were not dead, they would never die, even if they did, Dream could just bring them back, there was no escaping him, no escaping the DreamSMP. Dream would make sure of it. Even if it hurt the people he, deep deep down, cared about.

[the-minecraft-funnies]

Hello fellow you seem to have a mimecraft based blog i too am a gaming person would happen to have any gaming facts perhaps about craft?

minecraft is actually 7 feet tall but wont tell you their secrets about the mines or craft BUT the real reason they won’t spread rumors is because according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. 

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.- Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

[hottestthingalive]

Things I Have Learned About DSMP Thanks To All Of My Tumblr Mutuals And/Or Discord Buddies Without Having Ever Watched One Of The Streams

(essentially a sequel to that one among us post i made)

-from what i remember, there’s ghostbur, dream, techno, niki, eret, tubbo, tommy, philza dad minecraft, quackity, fundy, and ranboo. probably some others too

-dream is an green smiley face personified. also, an asshole. i’m pretty sure all of my mutuals and/or discord buddies hate dream

-techno is a pig but like. humanoid. everyone either adores or hates techno and there is zero middle ground. he had a speech where he said “i’m a person” and i know this because my discord friendos told me extensively about it. 

-tubbo and tommy are people. i have no idea which is which but one of their combined entity is super attached to the past, was friends with techno before betraying him, and is philza dad minecraft’s child. 

-i know nothing about fundy other than the fact that he’s a fox. apparently a lot of these people are not humans. 

-oh yeah and apparently a bunch of these people are dating inanimate objects and/or fish? philza dad minecraft is dating a smart fridge and when i learned that i rioted. also there’s a fish named sally. 

-eret wore a strawberry dress once and is a nb icon. 

-niki is. existing

-quackity is not a duck which is disappointing. he dated some other person i can’t remember the name of so we’re gonna call them x but then x fucked up and they were gonna divorce but x died so that didn’t happen i guess. 

-philza dad minecraft is a dad. and dating a fridge. why

-ranboo is half enderman i guess? and gave techno an axe (which was very sweet)? apparently he has a secret tumblr account too and he’s a good actor

-ghostbur was formerly named wilbur but now he’s dead and also a ghost. his name is kinda self-explanatory. he hangs around whether tommy or tubbo and he’s gonna get resurrected soon supposedly into alivebur. 

-there’s been like eight coups and also there’s this place called l’manberg which once had walls but now doesn’t. i’ve nicknamed it ba sing se. i’m pretty sure there’s war in l’manberg. 

-people have been banished i guess? a lot?

-one of the kids has something to do with bees.

-there’s also the arctic kingdom which i know nothing about except that it’s snowy and i’m pretty sure techno bops around there. 

-apparently the children roleplaying in this thing are. rich as fuck because of it? good job?

-rules of the server are that people get three canon deaths and they can’t go kill the ender dragon. seems unfair. at least let people go meet the dragon. 

-also when i initially found out about the canon deaths i thought it meant cannon deaths like the hunger games and/or that they were all pirates and got shot by cannons when they died. my friends have informed me that neither of those things are true and frankly i’m disappointed. 

-people have managed to get elytra without fighting the dragon? i haven’t played minecraft in a minute but i’ll be honest i don’t know how that works. 

-techno calls philza dad minecraft his “business associate”. philza dad minecraft calls techno his son. 

-there were two festivals. at least one of them ended really badly.

-being king/queen/monarch is cursed i guess? rip to those people who got cursed but i would simply use my power to instate a democracy and then step down. 

-there’s a lot of betrayal :(

-techno has abandonment and trust issues and has convinced himself no one loves him or appreciates him at all and so distances himself from emotional relationships with everyone. 

-i’ve never seen this but my friends have convinced me that i should absolutely whip out the adoption papers for every single being on the server except maybe dream who’s an asshole. 

-also dsmp stands for dream something multiplayer and not dream simp(s)

[justphilia]

Mob Psycho Characters Playing Minecraft (Headcanons)

Shigeo

He starts with creative mode, just to get the gist of it, before finally heading into survival but on peaceful. Then he’ll do survival easy mode and just stay on that tier forever, until he feels more confident to up his game a little higher.

Only played because Telepathy club was playing and he heard the word “Mob” and was like; “Did you call me?” and the club goes “nah fam, it Minecraft.” “what’s Minecraft.” Boom he plays.

Most likely to have a farm with a lot of cows

Has a dirt house/villager’s house on the first night and stops at just that.

Not much of a great builder

Takes forever to get diamonds

Dies often, but not too much. Just often enough for him to lose a few good iron pickaxes.

Always goes to bed once it’s night.

Most likely to have a pet cat

He just plays for fun, when he’s bored and stuff. So he doesn’t go as far as to defeating the ender dragon. He’ll travel to the nether though, just for potion making

But he does play a heck more when Teru’s around, or when the Telepathy club invites him.

He awaits for a frog update

Reigen

Jumps into survival hardcore right off the bat after watching one play through

Most likely to have a villager colony and farm

Makes a wooden house with windows and stuff on the first night with a furnace and a crafting table and a bed. The essentials. But he won’t stay in one house often and will move a lot

He can build, but he’s pretty amateur at it, he’s a fast learner though so he could easily replicate houses he see online

He’s the type of guy that never stops mining until he finds diamonds, which means he makes sure he’s at 13-11y in coordinates, has a shit ton of extra pickaxes, and stacks upon stacks of torches. Once he finds them goodies, he heads on home and repeats the cycle

He’ll defeat the ender dragon if he’s bored enough or when someone challenges/pays him to.

Same goes with The Wither

Will skip Minecraft sleep very often and will only go to bed when the phantom starts attacking

Most likely to have many many pet dogs, each one of them have name tags.

When he dies, he gets mad for a few hours, then jumps right back in. He doesn’t die all that often though, so he won’t rage quit.

He gets the minecraft books later on and you can see him reading it under his table time to time

Ritsu

He starts off with easy or normal without much knowledge on the game, probably only played because Shigeo introduced him to or Shou bugged him about it.

He’ll have a farm, but just for resources. Won't have much animals, mostly crops. He’ll live next to a village if there is one.

His first house will also be a dirt house, he’ll improve it overtime and add more levels and decorations. It can get very pretty in the end and he’ll be content to just stay and keep adding more to his house.

Not the best builder, but good enough for people to compliment it. He feels especially proud when Shigeo likes them, so he’s keen on building better and more.

He plans before he mines, calculates how many torches he needs and plans out what he’s exactly looking for, even calculates how many hunger bars each food item will fill before taking it with him.

If he gets really into the game, he’ll defeat the ender dragon, wither and head on into the nether. Not in that order though.

Will sleep if he doesn’t need to do anything

Most likely to have pets, perhaps a cat, or a dog, or a parrot. Only one though.

When he dies, he accepts it and moves on. Though, that would rarely happen.

Recently got into a forced Minecraft marriage with Shou. Is it forced if he enjoyed it though?

Teru

This bitch really just gonna jump right into survival just to flex on Shigeo.

Duh, of course he’ll have a farm. Will probably talk to the animals.

His first house is either borrowed from a villager or built with wood, but it’ll definitely not be a simple ass wooden house. It will be a nice fucking mansion, just watch him, he will. He’ll fight all the mobs he needs to just to built this mansion right off the bat, doesn’t even care if the first night he sleeps roofless.

Really good at building, because he wants to compete with Ritsu for fun and boast about it to Shigeo. Shigeo would just clap and be like “Wow so cool.”

“Thanks, made it myself, I can make one for you.” Shigeo declines, he’s an independent man, which makes Teru a mixture of disappointment and oh-my-god-you’re-adorable???

He doesn't plan when he mines, he just estimates and half ass some stuff before he struts into the cave. Sometimes he gets lost, but that’s perfectly fine.

Will defeat every mob boss and mob ever to show Shigeo he’s very powerful.

Doesn’t sleep, fights the phantom instead. Will sleep if Shigeo asks him to.

Most likely to have a pet cat, but he doesn’t mind dogs.

When he dies, he’s an angry baby and makes up some excuse as to why he’s dead. “I was distracted, didn’t see the lava. Whoops I guess ha ha no big deal.” But it is a big deal, he lost his diamonds, he wants to give it to his boyfriend but he cannot. Because he died.

Has yet to marry Shigeo in Minecraft.

Shou

Plays because he is a gamer. Survival hardcore ftw. He only plays multiplayer with Ritsu these days, never single player because he has been playing Minecraft his whole childhood and it gets boring on his own.

What’s a fucking farm? I take my food from my Minecraft husband.

Sleeps in a cave, but if Ritsu’s done with the house, he joins his bed with him and sleeps under a roof.

But he’s really really good at building, probably the best next to Serizawa. If you gave him the resources and time, he can recreate Seasoning City.

A concerning miner, jumps in with just torches and a pickaxe and somehow still survives (mostly because Ritsu always goes looking for him)

Could probably easily defeat the bosses because he has already done it so many times

Will only sleep when Ritsu is, which is almost all the time.

He owns every kind of animal.

He dies too many times because he really doesn’t mind, it makes Ritsu mad and that’s what keeps him going.

Shou was suffocated in sand.

“S H O U.” Ritsu yells at the boy next to him.

Was the one that proposed to Ritsu, invited everyone to the wedding; including Serizawa and Reigen.

Serizawa

Played while he was still hiding in his home, so he knows everything about the game when he finally played it with Reigen or the kids.

He loves farming, even the animals, it’s oddly calming to take care of something that won’t die unless he hits em.

He always collects resources first before he actually starts building a home, so he always sleeps in a cave or a villager’s house.

After years of experience, he became really good at building, he use to spend time recreating maps from other games. But he says Shou is better than him, the boy disagrees.

Yeah he mines, but he’s wary of dying when he heads into the cave, so he always brings too many torches. 

Makes sure he is very very prepared before defeating bosses

Always sleeps in time, because Reigen said so. Well, because Reigen advised it, what a hypocrite am I right?

Doesn’t have pets, and even if he does, he always make them stay put at one place.

Doesn’t die all that often, almost not at all.

He pretends to not be good at the game when Reigen’s around, he mostly lets the other do what they wanna do because he loves watching his husband play.

“Serizawa! Look, I made the zombie villager back into a villager!” Reigen pointed, Serizawa smiles and nods. He already knew how to do that, but Reigen’s discovery makes it feel he discovered something new himself.

Tome

Bro this woman is so experienced to a point everyone consults her for tips.

She’s building up to find aliens in minecraft, even though they don’t exist, but she’s convinced they’re an easter egg or something.

No, she doesn’t farm. She takes em from the villagers, but she has a few beehives here and there.

She’s only mining to find diamonds as a peace offering to minecraft aliens.

One time she thought the Wither was an alien.

One time, she thought the phantom was an alien.

One time she thought the ghast was an alien.

Has died multiple times because she is careless, but she is never upset about it. Always jumps right back into the game immediately.

Parrots are her pets, because they f l y and d a n c e.

One time she thought the creepers were aliens.

She has this summoning circle made of redstone and torches in case there really are aliens.

She believes in herobrine and sometimes tries to summon him.

She thinks the aliens made the temples in minecraft.

Other Characters

Minegishi has so many bees and flowers and crops it’s almost covering the whole map.

Takenaka plays because it’s very quiet and calming

Shimazaki cannot play. He is blind.

Shou’s old resistance team use to play with him, now they sometimes play together as a trio when Shou is playing with Ritsu.

Mukai and Tsuchi play because Mukai wanted to, she has a lot of armor stands in her house.

Tsubomi does not play, she played once and didn’t enjoy it all that much, but she’s perfectly happy watching her friends play.

Emi roleplays in minecraft.

Mezato doesn’t play, but she likes watching minecraft videos on youtube, mostly the theories.

Everyone in the awakening lab plays, Kurosaki is fantastic at mining because she always knows which way are the mobs and which way are the diamonds. Asahi is an arsonist.

Minori once got invited by Shigeo to play, then she proceeded to buy minecraft and everything in it to impress him. Shigeo only congratulated her once. Contemplating buying the whole of Mojang, but she’s a good girl now so she won’t.

Hoshida plays to impress Tome. Too bad, son, she’s not into you.

[tubb0]

stream liveblog: tommyinnit 8/22

I woke up literally a minute before he started so thats cool

he’s in a mood

he says he’s going to spend more time editing his videos (and upload less)

he also says his plan is two smp videos and then ‘something cool. something you might recognize’ 👀

oh so someone is building a tesck to compete with walmart. good.

theres a nether protal in tommys tower. he is not pleased

I just woke up idk whos been doing stuff but they’ve been quite busy

tommy is upset that tubbo was streaming with someone who ‘stole his brand’ (wearing a red t-shirt)

chat says his name is also tom

now hes in call with tubbo, yelling

‘you’re not just gonna go speak to this guy with more red in his shirt than me’

oh he hung up on tubbo

shippers will have a fierld day with this one (I desperately hope they don’t exist since these are children but yknow I’m sure they do)

you can see the corner of tommys bed when he fullscreens his facecam. he doesn’t have sheets or a mattress cover on his bed. do what you will with this (unless its weird then please dont)

tubbo_ has joined the game

tommy says he will ghost tubbo

also hey its fine to have a crush on tommy if you’re around his age but you dont have be weird and pushy about it

tubbo is doing the sad walk and tommy shot him

tommy: best friendship ended with tubbo. jack manifold is my new best friend

tubbo_ has left the game

chat is babying tubbo again :/

tubbo_ has joined the game

<tubbo_> sorry

tubbo_ has left the game

‘I always knew this day would come. thats why I was always mean to tubbo. I knew he would rob me.’

tubbo_ has joined the game

he left again... his spaghetti is ready

tommy is thinking of ways to but tubbo to work in order for them to earn back his friendship

wait did ponk steak tommys horse? I thought bbh did

anyways retrieve horsechamp

chat says niki lost ylyl because of tommy

wilbur was not pleased that she finds him funny (joking of course)

anyway niki is so pretty

it has just clicked for tommy that the horse is in fact his horse

oh hes on the run

tubbo has returned from eating his poggers spaghetti

tommy is stuck in a hole

tubbo: you know the pope? anyway heres my bee box!

tubbo keeps talking about the pope

tubbo has decided he doesn’t need tommys friendship and left the game

tommy says hes ‘like dream. his only friends are the numbers.’

he called tubbo and theyre both yelling now

tubbo claims to want more mature friends than tommy

tommy is accusing tubbo of being on drugs

the pope returns

‘this is like a divorce’ ‘yeah except I dont care’

they spent a second questioning catholicism

tubbo please why do you keep talking about the pope

tubbo brought up death and tommy shut that down real quick

tubbo out here with definitions

dream has joined the game

dream is only kind to tubbo and yet wont follow them back on twt

there something so endearing about hearing someone moving further from the mic when they laugh

chat is talking about the vlog gun so tommys watching wilburs stream

tommy: *upset about wilbur trying to break the vlog gun* tubbo: does this mean we can be together for mmc??

tommy hit tubbo of his balcony and now tubbo is regretting coming back online

tommy just murdered dream by hitting him with a minecart

ah fuck chat lost it and my streams starting to lag

skeppy is threatening to burn the doscs to avenge dreams death

tommy to tubbo: our friendship really hold this server together

did he lie?? absolutely not

deals are being made

well not really. tommy is trying to get a disc in exchange for dreams stuff

some pvp may occur

stream title has been changed to ‘war’ things are getting serious

tubbos wifi is failing us

oh the boys are fighting

a few thing happened in so little time but to summarize the way that tommy and tubbo trust eachother and silently cooperate is very cool. I aspire for this friendship.

for some reason its always so weird to me when I hear just dream talking to tommy and tubbo

I think its because drram is so stubborn and assertive but tommy does not care or put up with it so no matter what dream always seems to have the lowerhand which doesn’t happen often

I’m confused why is chat making such a big deal about wilbur ending his stream

ah a confrence with president soot

the other day everyone was afraid the server was dying but this seems like the start of another war

wilbursoot has joined the game

do you ever get so caught up in the drama of these stream and then it hits you that these are just a bunch of losers playing minecraft

wilbur... to be fair tommy didnt mean to kill dream... he warned him too

oh?

wilbur whispered to tommy to run while he was negotiating with dream and I think he told tubbo to kill dream but tubbo might also just be doing that for fun idk

dreams bringing up server rules... do it. ban tommy. your server will die immediately.

wilbur has scolded tommy and now tommy is ignoring him to plot with tubbo

sapnap!

I like the dynamic between tommy, tubbo and sapnap very much

sapnap has joined the game

oh my god I have to pee

lmao dream said tommy scams him often and tommy went 😬

‘everyone will call you bream for bitch dream’

tommy gave him his stuff

oh but some was never picked up

yikes dream is actually mad

damn tommy and skeppy are really going at it

chat says skeppy had the sword that dreams mad about uh oh

hehe tommy is very funny

tubbo is bargaining for tommy since dream killed him and is threatening his cow

if chat is right and skeppy actually has the sword hes pretty good at kying because I believe him but also I don’t know him well so

tommy is telling tubbo to kill skeppy now

aw skeppys stream sniping thats no fun

but anyway was that not the sword dream was looking for that tommy just showed in the chest????

so is sapnap on their side now? I think I missed something

no chat seems just as confused as me so

sapnap about betraying dream: it just seemed interesting idk

I think hes lying

chat has a point... I cant tell if tommy doesn’t realize or doesnt care that dream is watching his stream

wait that was cool

dream pearled away from sapnap but tommy saw the pearl and waited there so he could attack

ok but anyway while theyre chasing eachother around how did the minecart kill dream?? I’m pretty sure it does no damage and if I’m wrong dream was still in enchanted netherite and I doubt he was running around on like half a heart... unless he just did a /kill on himself for the drama??

tubbo broke all the ender chests and put them inside one... hes so smart

oh ok so tommy doesn’t care if dream is watching

fuck a bug flew in my eye

ponk and skeppy just reading the deaths in chat and making small comments lol

tubbo what

sapnap please

I’m very glad dream isnt in vc anymore because I bet he’s very upset and he gets scary sometimes

dont get me wrong I love him but yknow

oh no sapnap dont :(

tommy is getting so nervous about tubbos wifi going out because then itll be him against everyone else online lmao

tubbo: our relationship cannot be toxic because I am not in love with you :))

no tubbo not the pope again

tubbo please my head hurts

woah tubbo just killed tubbo while dream started killing him

oh he logged out and now dream is killing tommy

at this point dream is purposely not communicating with tommy and I’m getting nervous

oh hes back

go tubbo go

yknow what a man can do with 55 sticks?

tubbo accidentally locked himself in jail lmao

tommy is calling dream clay

he does not care

dream logged out (unrelated to above statements)

woah wait what tubbo is leading tommy somewhere secret that he cant even show on stream

tubbo you genius what do you have planned

tommy is playing his vlog to entertain stream while tubbo directs him to the secret

wtf tubbo

also they said sounds have to be off so I think the location might be in the nether or something because sounds will apparently give it away

dying is the only way they can leave??? but it cant be the end though right?

cuz like the achievements would show up

hmm

I don’t want to be too much of a snitch in case any of them actually are lurking on here but anyways tubbo is very epic

both tubbo and tommys mothers are teachers?

but they have a point dont skip your classes to watch someone play minecraft!

tubbo is such a good friend

they also say their in a tournament on the 31st so look forward to it

tommy is really throwing shade at shippers this stream. good for him.

oh and lowkey dnf shade too haha

ha tubbo almost leaked one of tommys video ideas

tubbo just wants to play fall guys

tommy is too self aware

but also he has a point. chat always sides with tubbo because they baby him

its kinda weird ngl

ahh my wifis going out :(

they’re watching the sunrise on tommys balcony while listening to blocks

oop tommy ended the stream because chat was being weird

gg tommy

anyway good stream go check it out if you havent already because I left some stuff out either because I type too slow or didn’t want to leak secrets :))

[meanie-boy-minyard]

TEEN IDLE by MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (id say please but that's illegal in this Christian Minecraft server)

Tis illegal, you are correct lol, enjoy!

___________

Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds

Characters: Andrew Minyard, Aaron Minyard, Nicky Hemmick, Coach Wymack, the Foxes, Renee Walker, Betty Dobson, Kevin Day, Neil Josten

Trigger Warning(s): Mentions of abuse, depression, reference to possible self-harm, brief mentions of rape, mentions withdrawal

“I wanna be a bottle blonde,” 

Bottle blonde: Having light blond hair, appearing/is artificially lightened

“I don't know why but I feel conned, I wanna be an idle teen, I wish I hadn't been so clean”

He feels like life scammed him- and having that insight to Andrew, we can imagine why. Adding onto that, he was never a normal teenager. When he started getting abused from his different foster homes, he must have felt that he wished he hadn’t been so naive to fall into their traps or if he did fall into them, be able to get himself out of them. But, the abuse happened, and he couldn’t stop it. And after that, Andrew falls into depression.

“ I wanna stay inside all day, I want the world to go away”

His depression causes him to not want to interact with the world, or anyone around it, most likely in subconscious fear that they will hurt him too. 

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake, I wanna be a real fake”

Andrew loves his knives and his sweets. And ironic yet iconic match. The section I feel we should really look at and notice is the last part about being a real fake. Andrew, even though he does not like being lied to, lie everyday in a way. His blank face hides his emotions most of the time. Neil has said so before, that Andrew has gotten angry or had a darkness go over his eyes that only he notices. Keep in mind, Neil is very observant because he has to be.

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal”

In the books, we have obviously seen that Andrew did not have the most healthy methods. In fact, he even admitted in the books to be “self-destructive not stupid.” (That was Andrew, right? Was that even in the actual books? I’ve read way too much fan fiction to remember.)As for the bible part, we all know Andrew doesn't follow a religion. 

“The wasted years, the wasted youth, The pretty lies, the ugly truth, And the day has come where I have died”

Most of Andrew’s younger life was spent just surviving. Barley at that. When was told beautiful fairytales of this wonderful world but he got the crushing reality that not everyone gets a happily ever after. He might’ve in a way, already considered himself dead.

“Only to find, I've come alive”

Enter Aaron Minyard. Enter Nicky Hemmick. Enter Wymack. Enter the Foxes. Enter Renee Walker. Enter Betty Dobson. Enter Kevin Day. Enter Neil Josten.

All these things, even if he would never admit it out loud, gave him a reason to stay alive and keep going, be it through a promise or just by being there, and helping when they didn’t have to. Even if he hurt them, fought against them, even if they had to be pulled back by another. Andrew was given a reason to stay alive, and the opportunity to thrive.

“I wanna be a virgin pure, A twenty-first-century whore, I want back my virginity, So I can feel infinity”

Even though he was given a reason to keep going, there were still memories. Things were taken away from him without choice, without consent. Even if he doesn't actively think it 24/7, at least sometimes he had to of/does long to have been able to make that choice- like one should- by himself. He wants to be able to make that choice, make that sexual aspect of his life a personal choice rather than a boundary-  a plain full of landmines with the map drawn on his arms over, and over again.

“I wanna drink until I ache, I wanna make a big mistake, I want blood, guts, and angel cake”

He goes to Edens he drinks and cracker dust, but before that he goes to Sweeties which legit has the word “sweet” in the title. He has this anger stored inside him that he wants to release but he can’t just go and fight any random person so Renee is his fighting partner. The spar when either side needs to release that energy, it also gives a space for Andrew to just be able to talk in a different way he can with Bee. Renee doesn't have to be there and listen and respect, but she does.

“I'm gonna puke it anyway”

Withdrawls. Andrew went off his meds every game, when he went to Eden’s when he simply did not want to be doped up.

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal, The wasted years, the wasted youth”

“The pretty lies, the ugly truth”

“And the day has come where I have died, Only to find, I've come alive, Come alive, I've come alive”

Again, as said before, he felt lost- he was lost. Then he found his family, his friends, his partner, his therapist, his reason to stay alive and keep going and keep fighting. That's not to say there weren't any bumps in the road, everyone has their bad days, sure. But he kept going nonetheless.

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist, I wish I didn't really kiss, The mirror when I'm on my own”

Andrew thinks about himself a lot. Not in a snobby way, but in the manner that he knows his boundaries and if you don’t respect them you may end up with a knife in your gut. 

“Oh God, I'm gonna die alone, Adolescence didn't make sense, A little loss of innocence, The ugliness of being a fool, Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”

Andrew, before Neil came in and he got to know him, never thought he would find a partner. One that would respect his boundaries, that would look at Andrew and see ‘human’ and not ‘monster’. Someone that would not flinch

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal, The wasted years, the wasted youth, The pretty lies, the ugly truth”

Again, just a reminder that no matter how much progress Andrew has, sometimes the bad days win over the good ones. He was lied to, hurt, and abandoned.

“And the day has come where I have died, Only to find, I've come alive, Only to find, I've come alive, Only to find, I've come alive”

“All our lives”

He thought everything was hopeless, but then relief came. There were ups and downs, but for the first time in his life, Andrew Minyard was ready to finally, finally thrive in his existence.

“(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

All our lives”