#the man who deserved biggest apology from the world

[shortiepinocco]

and he was bullied to the end of his life.

NO.

he's bullied even after he passed 💔

[tinycoffeeroom]

more than enough | lando norris

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Hi lovely, I loved just friends!! Since reading, all I’ve been able to thinking about is bestfriend/roomate Lando. Maybe you’re not able to join him for race weekend and he hasn’t heard from you, like at all. When he returns, he thinks you’re not home until he hears the sobs and realises something is really wrong. Maybe you’ve broken up with your boyfriend and Lando is standing on the other side of your locked bedroom door, absolutely in love with you and hurting because you’re hurting 🫠

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

📍 Miami

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,387,928 others

landonorris WE FUCKING DID IT!!!!! P1 in Miami!!!!! you bitches can't call me lando nowins anymore!!!

See 997,729 other comments

fan you can tell lando runs his own social media... ↳ mclaren it is our biggest burden

oscarpiastri well done mate! well deserved! ♥️ landonorris ↳ landonorris you next osc!!!

maxverstappen1 i said i'd have to collect my wins before you start coming for them, congrats winner! ♥️ landonorris

mclaren our papaya boy, you will always be loved (heart) ♥️ landonorris

fan WHERE IS Y/N?????? ↳ fan lando said in an interview that she couldn't come this week!!!! i'm sure she texted / called him

fan i know y/ns screaming and crying at the fact she couldn't be there this week

fan no lando / y/n hugging photo :((((( i miss my best friends

liked by fan, fan and 19,036 others

f1gossip Lando Norris' roommate and best friend Y/N L/N was caught in a heated argument with her recently debuted beau outside a restaurant in Monaco. The person who sent the photo in was too far away to hear the argument, but said Y/N seemed despondent to the situation, watching her boyfriend walk away before paying the bill and leaving quietly. Soon after, waiter's came to each outside table and told them Y/N sent her apologies for the commotion.

fan y/n :(((( was he the reason she couldn't go to Miami????

fan i'm gonna dox him ↳ fan i mean... i'm not gonna stop you

fan i have a knife.

fan i hope he's an ex boyfriend now wtf???

fan do you guys remember the pics of her and lando talking at padel and her bf was shooting DAGGERS at lando??? yeah somethings going on there ↳ fan we hate insecure men

fan lando i know u have money and connections i need this man to disappear

It wasn’t unusual for you to go radio silent after a race you weren’t able to attend, especially one on the other side of the world. Lando was used to a simple “congrats on P4!<3333” or wherever he had placed that time, and then you would be off to the land of dreams as he went about his day, shuffling between meetings and the media paddock. 

Today was different however. Lando had actually won. He’d won his first ever race and his best friend and roommate was virtually nowhere to be seen. He couldn’t help but feel a little angry at you, you knew how much P1 meant to him, the hours he had spent moping around the little apartment the two of you shared after a bad race and the rants he would go on when he placed P2 but was inches from that ever so elusive win, slipping just through his fingertips. 

He fired off one last text to you before sliding the phone back into the waistband of his fireproofs so he had his hands free to accept celebratory fist bumps and handshakes from every garage along the paddock. 

The lack of communication from you slowly slipped his mind after he had interview after interview, the kind and excited words of the journalists filling him with pride as they recall just how far ahead of Max he had been. Sure, his mood soured everytime someone mentioned that he got lucky with the safety car but his mother always told him that luck was something to utilise, not something to rely on. 

When he was finally free of the media’s hands, he checked his phone again. No messages from you which made him sigh, but one from Max. Opening their text thread, he’d dropped Lando a location pin for a well known bar in Miami along with the sentence “9pm, be there or be square, race winner”. 

–

To be quite honest, Lando doesn’t remember much of the party. Hell, he doesn’t even remember getting there, Zak having plied him with glass after glass of champagne during their debrief. He’s pretty sure Oscar had been the one to zip his fly up when they met outside their hotel rooms before the party, hands moving up to recentre his shirt so only a slightly scandalous amount of chest showed. 

Sitting on the private jet, again courtesy of Max, he thumbed through the last text thread between the two of you. You’d seemed fine, mentioning that you were going out for a meal with your boyfriend before the race started, and then… nothing. Complete and total radio silence. 

Maybe you were still with your boyfriend, too wrapped up in that jackass to notice the 17 messages Lando had left you since last night. 

God, he hated that guy. Ever since the day you had introduced him to Lando, he’d had a bad feeling. The guy was too touchy, arm wrapped securely and possessively around your waist like Lando was some kind of threat. 

And maybe he was. 

If he’d just manned up and told you the truth, that he’d loved you since the moment the two of you met one sunny day when he was still an F2 driver and you were the sister of one of his rivals, then maybe it would be his arm draped around you. 

Instead he had smiled, rolled over and showed his stomach like a runt at the bottom of the food chain, and watched from afar as the guy whisked you away under a mottled sunset. 

He felt a nudge at his side, eyes meeting Max’s curious ones. “Still no reply?”

He sighed, shaking his head as he pocketed his phone once again. “Maybe she’s busy…”

The excuse sounds weak even to his own ears, and when Max simply hums unbelievingly, he sighs again, mind torn in half at the elation of his win and the sadness of your ignoration. 

–

Sliding the key into the door, he listened ahead for any sign of life. The sound of dishes clinking in the sink, or your playlist of noughties hits that he always pretended to hate but would secretly sing along to when you weren’t looking. 

The silence that blankets him is unnerving. Too reminiscent of when he’d moved here alone and had all but begged you to join him, promising a rent free and easy going life. 

Checking the kitchen, he sees it’s exactly as he left it last week. The living room is barely lived in, the odd throw misplaced from the back of the sofa. His game room door is still shut, as is both his and your bedrooms. 

As he walks through to drop his suitcase off in his room, dreading the amount of washing that will fall out of it when he gets the energy to open, he hears a noise. From your bedroom, specifically. 

Checking his watch, he sees its 2 in the afternoon. Normally, you would be up and out by now, dragging Lando to whatever new fad you had seen on tiktok, or to the padel courts where he would inevitably lose to you. 

Leaning so his ear presses against the door, he can make out the shuffling of sheets. Maybe you had decided to do some laundry whilst you waited for him to get back. But then, the sound of sniffling joins. 

He freezes on the spot, ear still pressed haphazardly to the wooden door. The sniffles get louder and louder, soon joined behind an unmistakable sob. He can feel his heart drop to the floor, his stomach joining it on its tumultuous way down. 

You were crying. And he had no idea why. 

Pulling away from the door, his hand hovers the knob. Should he knock first? Should he just leave you to it? Normally, when you were sad, you would sneak into whichever room he was in, either reaching a hand out to lay against his back or sitting close enough so your thighs touch. He knew you needed to feel some part of him in order to ground yourself, and he always obliged. Oftentimes, the two of you would end up cuddled on the couch, some soppy chick flick on the tv as you gave into the warmth surrounding you, eyes closing as you rested your head against his shoulder. Despite how much it hurt to see you sad, he couldn’t deny these quiet moments were his favourite part of any day. 

Another sob breaks out, the sound so cruel and visceral, it was as if it had been yanked from your very soul. He forgoes knocking, hand twisting the knob harshly. He tries to push it open, only to be met by a force pushing back against him. 

You’d locked the door. 

In the 4 years of living together, neither of you had ever once locked your bedroom doors, knowing the other would knock before entering but still feeling comfortable enough to forgo privacy so the rooms could be open to the other whenever. 

“Y/N?” He calls out hesitantly, as one would approach an injured bird. 

The sobs become muffled, more shuffling of sheets before you call back to him, voice weak and torn along the edges. “Lando?”

He normally loved when you said his name, but the whine that accompanies it today leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He knows he should ask what’s wrong but he doesn’t know where to begin. He’s never not known why you’re sad, the two of you an open book shared between friends. 

He starts the only way he knows how. “Did you watch the race?”

More shuffling of sheets and when you respond, your voice is closer. “I’m sorry Lan, I didn’t get a chance to.” A moment of silence passes between the two of you. “How did you do?”

He wants to be angry. He really does. The one time you don't watch a race and he only goes and bloody wins it. “I won.”

“What?” Your voice wobbles, wondering if you were imagining what he had just said. 

“I won, Y/N. My first P1. 7 seconds ahead of Max.”

He waits for your response, probably some form of congratulations spoken through wood given your current mood. What he wasn’t expecting was for you to unlock and slam open the door, the both of you wincing as it bangs against the wall. “Say that again.”

He takes you in for a moment. Bloodshot eyes rimmed with violet, tears still making their way down flushed cheeks. You’re wrapped in your duvet, only your head visible as the duvet covers what is probably bedhead and your favourite set of pyjamas - flannel trousers and a t-shirt of Lando’s you had stolen at some point. 

Shrugging his shoulders, he smiles warily at you. “I won.”

Throwing yourself at him, he takes a moment to steady the two of you, arms wrapping around the mass of duvets surrounding you. He can feel you crying again, tears soaking the collar of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lan. I should have watched, I mean you won and I wasn’t even there to watch. I’m sorry, please forgive me.” You choke through the words, fingers digging roughly into Lando’s back. 

He winces at the feeling of your nails digging into his skin through the shirt, squeezing you even closer to him. “Don’t be sorry. Something obviously happened.” He uses the mound of duvet to pull you away, eyes flickering over your face. You look heartbroken in more ways than one. “What happened, sweet girl?”

Your lips quiver at the nickname, a hand poking through the duvet to reveal your phone. After 3 tries of using face ID, you huff, angrily putting in your passcode before turning the screen to Lando. 

He scans the screen. It’s an instagram post by some F1 gossip page. He recognised the user as one who often tried to paint him as some womaniser, taking any regular interaction with a woman as a sign he was sleeping with them. 

This post, however, is different. He sees you first, mouth in a tense line as you stare blankly at your boyfriend. Then he sees the caption. 

The anger returns, festering and dark, this time directed to your dickhead of a boyfriend. “What did he do?”

You sigh, locking the screen and pulling your hand back into the duvet cocoon. “I said I wanted to go home because your race was about to start. He got angry and accused me of being in love with you. I pointed out that I was literally on a date with him. He called me every name under the sun, told me we were over and then stormed off. I’m sorry, Lan, this isn’t good publicity for you.”

He scoffed, eyebrows raising skyward. “I dont give a fuck about the publicity, I care about you. How dare he speak to you like that?” He can tell the angers bleeding into his tone but he’s about 2 seconds away from finding out where that prick lives and beating him over the head with a padel racket. “Are you ok? Do you want to put on a chick flick? Order a takeaway? Go to a rage room and plaster his face across every breakable thing?” Moving closer, he rests his hand against your jaw, nudging it between your tear stained skin and the soft duvet. “Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

Sighing, you nuzzle against his hand. “None of that, Lan. I just want to cry and forget what happened last night.”

Swallowing his pride, he nods. “Do you want me to talk to him? I can tell him we’re not in love with each other. Just best friends.” The ending comes out a little bitterly, but he hopes you’re too distracted to notice. 

You smile up at him affectionately. The simple curve is enough to make his heart flutter from where it had picked itself off the floor and wormed its way back into his chest. 

Reaching up to lay your hand over his, lacing your fingers between his, you sandwich it between the warmth he so craved. “I just want to be with you. You make everything better.”

He reflects your smile, brushing his thumb along your cheekbone. You wanted him, just him, and for now that was more than enough. 

[jjennuine]

LET ME LOVE YOU ( 换句话说 ) they finally show you how badly they yearn for you with a kiss.

❛❛ 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝖿 𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗌 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 , 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗌�� 𝗂 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 ❜❜

ペアリング 엔하이픈 형 & f ! r non idol au fluff yearning skinship smoking suggestive ⪩⪨ ( 档案 ) 1OOO

アイラ ꢾ𓍢ִ໋ i got carried away i fear

LEE HEESEUNG

“Seriously, him?” A flat, disappointed voice pierced through the air, and you recognized it instantly. “Yes, him.” With a deep breath, you turned around to face the man ��� it being none other than Lee Heessung, the embodiment of your personal nightmare, standing there with an unimpressed expression.

Heeseung's lips curled into a smug grin as he met your glare, fully aware that he was the only one who had the power to make you lose your cool.

“C’mon, princess, you know I’m the perfect guy for you. You just have to accept it” The tall man moved nearer, gently tucking a stray hair behind your ear. Your breath caught in your throat as an electric tension filled the room, leaving you aware of the closeness between you both.

( more under cut. )

“All you have to do is say yes and I’ll give you everything you want” Heeseung’s voice was laced with sultry, and you could hear the smirk on his face. Your heart was beating faster and your mind was full of hesitation — but his hot breath on your skin couldn't make you seem to care.

You breathed out a shaky “yes,” and Heeseung’s mind buzzed with the urge to kiss you. He cupped your chin, gently guiding you against the wall, and at that moment, his biggest fantasy came true as his lips pressed against yours.

His breathing was shaky as his hand slid down to your waist, his cold, long fingers grazing your skin, making you gasp at the sensation. Heeseung had never dreamed of anything more — you were the only thing he had ever yearned for. And now, he had your lips on his.

PARK JONGSEONG

“Jay! Seriously, stop buying me so much stuff! You exclaimed, struggling to balance three bags of designer items. Jay, with an unbothered expression, seemed completely unfazed, making you even more frustrated.

“An expensive girl deserves expensive things.” Jay smirked, ruffling his hair while leaning against the wall. You glared at him, your frustration only making him more amused.

“Money won’t buy me” You clenched your teeth, arms crossed tightly as the bags tumbled to the ground, the thud resonating through the air. “Then how do I get you, baby?” Jay moved nearer, gently grasping your hand in his.

You breathed in, your body tensing — a gulp the only sound coming out of your mouth. “Do I give her all my attention?” He did exactly that. “Do I treat her like a gem?” That too. “Or should I just tell her what I feel?” He hasn’t quite done that.

Tension hung in the air as Jay leaned in closer, a smug grin on his lips. “I think I’ve figured it out,” he said, his eyes locked on yours. He pulled you in, kissing you slowly, and you melted into the moment, returning his kiss with the same amount of fervor he felt, the world around you fading away as you lost yourselves in each other.

Jay held your face in his hands as he pulled you closer, the kiss deepening as he felt his mind go insane from how badly he craved you and the fact that he could finally call himself yours.

SIM JAEYUN

“You’re like a dumb puppy chasing me around everywhere, just bother some other girl!” You burst in anger, and you yelled at the man in front of you. But instantly, you felt a twig of guilt in your chest from your mean words.

You glanced up to apologize, but to your surprise, Jake was smirking at your outburst, appearing more amused than offended by your reaction. “I take pride in that, princess” You frown at him and pout — why is he so stubborn?

“Can’t you be sane for once and leave me alone?”Frustrated, you throw your arms up as Jake leans against the wall, staring down at you. His composed expression only fuels your anger more, walking up to him as you pull him by his shirt.

Jake's expression shifted to a more serious one, causing your heartbeat to quicken, an undeniable tension filling the air around you. “Do I look sane to you?” You gulped as Jake reached out gently, lifting your chin to ensure you met his gaze.

The room fell silent as you both stood still, gazing into each other's eyes. Jake gently brushed his thumb against your lips, causing your breath to hitch. Seeking permission, he looked deep into your eyes, making you hesitantly nod before he eagerly brought his lips to yours.

Jake's kiss was filled with desperation and longing, as if he'd waited for this moment forever. His mind chanted your name like a prayer while he held your hands loosely, then shifted your position, pinning them against the wall. He opened his eyes to look at you, and it was clear to anyone how intensely he desired you.

PARK SUNGHOON

“You’re insufferable” Sunghoon's lips curled into a flirty smirk as he flicked the lighter in his hand, igniting the tip of his cigarette, the soft flame brightening a slight orange glow on his face,

Sunghoon inhaled and puffed out the smoke, his expression completely unbothered by your nagging, which only fueled your frustration “I told you to stop smoking multiple times!” You took the cigarette from his lips and threw it to the ground.

Sunghoon sighed and met your glare. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied, tilting his head and tousling his hair. You couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief at how unbothered he was at your scolding.

"I can't stand it, you know. It's causing you pain." You fold your arms, pouting in frustration as Sunghoon raises an amused brow. "So you actually care about me?" Your eyes widen, and you shake your head, trying to defend yourself and deny his assumptions knowing he’s right.

"Help me then" you blink in confusion. "How?" Sunghoon leans in, his gaze sultry as he fixates on your lips, causing your heart to race. “This,” he murmurs, cupping your face with his hand before kissing you eagerly. Surprised, you hesitate for a moment but then find yourself kissing him back, caught in the intensity of the moment.

You shut your eyes as Sunghoon draws you nearer, his large hand tenderly stroking your hair. The lighter slips from his grip, hitting the ground — his desire palpable, evident in the way his kiss feels so desperate and needy.

rbgs are very appreciated ! wanna be updated on all my works? join the taglist ^^

[delugyu]

hi!! i was wondering if i could request a one shot based on the GGUM mv where yeonjun is a cocky and bratty k pop idol that belittles everyone and basically the reader is like his mananger who’s had enough of his behavior and decides to teach him a lesson and he’s super submissive.

btw i LOVE your writing. cold, curse city was amazing <3

jumped for joy when i saw submissive yeonjun YAYYYYYYY (also thank you!!! hehe)

(wc: 2k / warnings: mean dom!reader, sub!yeonjun, reader’s kind of a bitch but yeonjun is too so it’s okay, degradation, humiliation, oral kinda idk eating pussy thru the panties, unprotected sex, edging..?)

you’re pretty sure that the biggest source of your headaches on any given day is the man you’re watching right now—on a tuesday at eight in the morning—who’s trying to convince you that the interviewer deserved it earlier when he called her an idiot.

“yeah, no. that’s never happening again,” you say plainly, cutting off his long-winded explanation. if only he could catch on when you’re trying to leave no room for argument, but unfortunately he has the most major case of lacking respect and decorum that you’ve ever seen.

“so you think it was okay for her to say that being bratty is my whole brand?” he asks.

“well, if you keep acting the way you do, then you can’t be surprised if that’s what people focus on.” you won’t lie: his brash personality is definitely good for gaining attention. his PR team never has to work too hard, since they know yeonjun’s going to do something stupid to get him on the news anyway. you’re jealous, cause you’re over here busting your ass to make sure he doesn’t go too far and ruin his career.

“i’d be selling a fake image if i was out there kissing babies and shaking hands,” yeonjun says.

“so the better alternative is running your mouth until half the country wants you beaten up?” you don’t want him to act like someone he’s not, but you also don’t want him to be such a dick to everyone.

“stop acting like you know me or the things i want,” he says. it lights a fire inside of you, rage burning at his insinuation. “i don’t want a nice, clean image. i fucking hate it when you try to force that onto me.”

he walks away into his dressing room, probably done with you and this conversation, but you’ve had it. you’re pissed, and he needs to learn that he doesn’t sit on top of the world. you mutter out quick apologies to the staff you push past in your haste to follow yeonjun.

before you can step into the room, yeonjun slams the door in front of your face. “yeonjun, are you fucking kidding me?!” you bang your fist against the door when turning the knob doesn’t work.

“go away,” he says from behind the door. you let out something like a growl in your frustration, feeling like you might just rip all your hair out. it’s too early to already be doing this.

“why do you throw fits every time i try to tell you to have some respect? you can never just bite your tongue for a second.”

you’re met with silence. you hate when he starts tuning you out. you’ll have to pop a few tylenols after this to keep your headache from killing you.

you start up once more, “you think anyone’s gonna look at your art before they look at you as a person? what’s the point in making good music if the person behind it is such a jackass?”

again, no reply. you sigh, running your hands down your face as you try to collect yourself. this isn’t worth it. he’s never going to change.

“i’m thinking i should just quit and let you deal with whatever asshole comes in after me,” you say, just trying to stir him into giving you a response now. you usually keep yourself from going back and forth with him like this, but he’s been on your nerves way too much recently. you were bound to explode with how much he’s been testing you.

the door finally opens. you don’t waste a second when you push it wider and enter the room, shutting it behind you. he’s crossing his arms, eyebrow raised like he’s waiting for you to scold him some more.

“you actually gonna quit, or was that all talk?” he asks.

you scowl and push on his shoulders until he’s sitting on one of the chairs. his eyes widen for a second like he’s surprised you actually put your hands on him. he should be grateful you don’t do worse.

“listen, i’m not going to take your shit anymore. i’m not giving you a choice. you need to have some respect.” you look down at him with ice cold eyes. he squirms a little in his seat; you almost find it funny.

“i don’t know how you expect me to do that. this is just how i am,” he counters.

“shutting your mouth would be a good start.” you put your hand over his lips when he opens them to start talking again. “see, you’re already trying to bark. just listen.”

you keep your hand there, and you’re kind of surprised that he doesn’t even try to move you away. your other hand grips the back of his chair so that you’re leaning over him, and you finally feel like you’re more powerful than him. you feel like he might listen to you for once.

“if you don’t want to be seen as a brat, then don’t be a brat,” you say. “you can have a tough image without annoying everyone. people see you more as a toddler than as some cool guy.”

his eyes dart down, and you realize that, with you leaning over him, he has a great view of your cleavage. he’s staring at your tits. scandalized, you grab his jaw to tilt his head all the way up, so he can either stare at the ceiling or look at your face. he chooses the ceiling.

“are you trying to make me hate my job? do you want me to quit?” you ask.

his eyes find yours at that, and you’re a little surprised to not find any fight in them. he shakes his head and keeps his mouth shut.

“you can answer now,” you say, letting go of his jaw.

“don’t quit, i like you as my manager,” he answers quickly. you huff out a laugh.

“well you sure as hell don’t act like it.”

“i’m sorry,” he apologizes—and sounds completely sincere, too.

you stand up straight, assessing him silently. you let your eyes rake down his body, noticing how he doesn’t move an inch. looks like you’ve finally put him in his place. it’s such a shame that it practically takes you bullying him to get to this point.

“so you’re gonna cool the tough guy act?” you ask.

“i dunno, maybe you should test how obedient i can be,” he prompts with a growing smile. wow, and you were doing so well.

“get off that chair.” immediately he does, standing up and waiting for his next instruction. you laugh at how pathetic his switch up is. you’d love for the nation to see yeonjun now, so eager to follow your orders. how far will he go?

you decide to test it out. “kneel.”

he’s just as quick to follow through with that, too. a power rush is already surging inside you, pumping adrenaline through your body. he looks up at you from his position on his knees. there’s still some space between you, though.

“come a little closer. crawl to me.” your pleased smile stays on your face as you watch him obey, keeping eye contact as he inches toward you.

“this is so funny,” you say as you look down at him. for the first time in your life, you see him look embarrassed. his eyes dart off to the side, unable to take the torment. “eyes on me. don’t you dare try looking away again.”

his cheeks glow with a subtle red tint, you notice as you take in his face. “would you be so kind as to apologize to me again?” you ask.

“i’m sorry,” he answers promptly.

“hm. better than that.”

he looks confused, but you know he’s desperate to follow because he’s quick to oblige. “i’m sorry i was such a brat to you and everyone else.”

“you were a brat. what do you think brats like you deserve?”

you feel him shiver. “punishment,” he answers meekly.

“that’s right.” you place your foot on his crotch, not paying any mind to how hard he is already. “what a shame you were so bad. you could’ve came today.” you take your foot off him and spread your legs apart. “get me nice and wet for your cock.”

“w-what?” he stammers, looking up at you all scandalized.

“i’m not in the mood to repeat myself.” with all the eagerness he’s ever had, yeonjun grips onto your thighs and dips his head beneath your skirt. he starts licking your cunt over your panties, tongue working adamantly against you like he’s scared to do it wrong or poorly.

you sigh, relaxing into the feeling. this is better stress relief than any amount of medicine could give you. maybe you’ll be resorting to this more often.

he wraps his lips around your clothed clit and sucks, then swipes his tongue across the swollen bud. he’s deeply focused on pleasuring you, repeating any little action that makes your legs twitch. you hate to admit it, but he’s getting you wet so fast.

“guess this is the only way to shut you up, huh?” you ask, and you feel him nod in response. “should i do this more then?”

“yes,” he pulls away to say, replacing his mouth with his fingers rubbing quickly against you. “do it as much as you want.”

“is the promise of pussy the only way you’ll—fuck, just like that—respect me?” his fingers run wildly over your clit, desperation oozing off of him.

“only yours. i’ll do anything for it.” he presses into your core, grinding his hand against you. “you’re so wet. please sit on my cock.”

you hum, wanting to say no and torture him more, but you can’t deny how bad you want to feel him inside you.

“sit on the chair and undo your pants,” you instruct. you slide off your panties as he does that.

you sit on his lap and give his dick a few quick jerks before aligning it with your entrance. he makes more noise than you do as you sink onto him, which would make you snicker if you weren’t so busy adjusting to his size.

“you moan like a bitch,” you hiss out as you finally take all of him in. you stay bottomed out for a minute, letting yourself get used to the stretch, grinding your hips every now and then to hear him whine.

“please move, i need more,” he says after a minute.

“don’t tell me what to do.” you start moving anyway—not because he begged you to, but because you’re getting needier for your orgasm. “this isn’t about you, brat.”

he keeps whining as you bounce on his dick, throwing his head back and dropping his mouth open. he sounds so much better when he’s moaning like a whore instead of bitching at everyone on earth.

you gasp when you feel his fingers on your clit, playing with the bud with endless need. even when he bites his lip, little noises keep spilling out of him, and a part of you is almost afraid that someone’s going to hear him.

“i’m close,” you say as you lean back a little, letting his dick hit a new spot inside of you. his eyes shine when he sees your body start twitching.

“i want you to cum so bad, please please give it to me!” his begging throws you ever the edge, biting your lip so you don’t make any sound. breathy little noises escape you instead, which yeonjun seems to like just as much.

you swat his hand away when it becomes too much, catching your breath while you ignore yeonjun’s twitching dick inside of you. yeonjun’s losing his patience, grabbing your hips needily.

“i need to cum too,” he says, brows upturned and almost looking pitiful. you enjoy the feeling of him inside you for a couple more seconds before getting up.

“isn’t that too bad,” you say. his jaw drops, and he goes speechless yet again. “don’t look so surprised. didn’t i tell you that you won’t be cumming today?”

the betrayal on his face suddenly makes this job worth every penny.

[soberstardom]

JEALOUSY? — デスノート

SUMMARY. ❦. — death note characters having jealous moments.

CHARACTERS. 𓉸ྀི — yagami light, lawliet l, amane misa, touta matsuda, mihael keehl (mello), jeevas mail (matt), mikami teru.

REQUEST. 𖦹 — N/A

WARNINGS. ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — jealousy, some mentions of killing, (semi-romanticized) possessive men + women.

A/N. ౨ৎ — this took way longer than it should've. i apologize deeply. also, i do not write for nate river (near) as i'm not the biggest fan of his general character, personally. also, the reader is presented as female.

LINKS. .ᐟ.ᐟ — PINNED POST. | MASTERLIST.

YAGAMI LIGHT — (夜神 月 ライト)

> 私は想像します — he'd be manipulative . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — ah, yes, light yagami. where do i start?

꩜ .ᐟ — this manipulative god of the new world would do exactly as his name implies. manipulate.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would most likely coerce you into giving him the individuals name and other personal details.

꩜ .ᐟ — later on, however, he would hold this against you. but, not in a 'blackmail', sort of way, no.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would use it as leverage to shut down any more ideas forming in your pretty little mind.

꩜ .ᐟ — what i mean by that is, he would use that and turn it against you by saying you're such a good girl for giving that said information to your lord. he would say that he loves you and that he only gave him a heart attack, nothing more.

꩜ .ᐟ — he would end it off by saying that you are his. his goddess. his lover. his servant. and nothing will change that.

LAWLIET L — (エル・ローライト)

> 私は想像します — he'd be logical . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, i personally believe that L is not the type to get jealous.

꩜ .ᐟ — he genuinely trusts you, and doesn't believe that you'd commit adultery. especially towards him.

꩜ .ᐟ — however, we're only human and as a result, we have our moments.

꩜ .ᐟ — L, if he felt jealous, would be either very broad and upfront, or very doubtful and unsure.

꩜ .ᐟ — i say this because L is a very smart and straightforward man who has no shame in voicing his thoughts.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, since you're his first relationship, he has less knowledge in this field and that could make him feel insecure.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, regardless of that, you discover his feelings eventually and comfort him with loving words and reassurance.

꩜ .ᐟ — you two ate strawberry cake together afterwards.

AMANE MISA — (弥 海砂)

> 私は想像します — she would be clingy . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — misa would definitely be whiny and clingy, demanding your attention.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would never let it go and would probably be still asking about the same individual a week after that occurrence happened.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would be asking who they were, why did they approach you, do you like them more than her, do you like them at all, etc.

꩜ .ᐟ — she would try and buy you things and take you put on more extravagant dates to try and make sure you know she's better.

꩜ .ᐟ — she also did that to try and soothe her paranoia.

꩜ .ᐟ — but, she couldn't stop thinking about it, and eventually started ranting about it more.

꩜ .ᐟ — due to her eyes, she threatened to kill them if you ever converse with them again.

꩜ .ᐟ — she's a handful, but you love her, don't you?

TOUTA MATSUDA — (松田 桃太)

> 私は想像します — he would be self-critical . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, matsuda already isn't confident in his abilities due to the amount of criticism he already gets from his team. (that's deserved, lol.)

꩜ .ᐟ — and seeing you, his gorgeous girlfriend, talking with one of the higher ranking members is yet another blow to his self-esteem.

꩜ .ᐟ — he wouldn't voice it right away, choosing to sulk instead.

꩜ .ᐟ — you didn't think much of it at first. however, once his mini pout phase didn't go away, you began to worry.

꩜ .ᐟ — after a while of 'what's wrong matsu?' and 'its nothing y/n!', he finally gave in.

꩜ .ᐟ — he told you how it made him feel when you spoke to the other men and apologized in the case that he seemed immature, but of course you didn't mind.

꩜ .ᐟ — you two sorted it out maturely and went to sleep soon after.

KEEHL MIHAEL (MELLO) — (ミハエル・ケール) + (メロ)

> 私は想像します — he would be territorial . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — i'm sure you're not surprised, considering mello's bold, aggressive personality.

꩜ .ᐟ — he isn't scared to tell people what belongs to him. that goes for you too, since you do belong to him.

꩜ .ᐟ — whenever he sees someone hitting on you, he goes off. and i mean, OFF.

꩜ .ᐟ — he yells at the person and will definitely land some punches while practically screaming "DON'T YOU HEAR ME?! SHES MINE!" at the guy while you're trying to pull him off.

꩜ .ᐟ — once he was done, he would give you a kiss while whispering 'mine.' and he would quickly drag you away with a iron grip on your wrist.

꩜ .ᐟ — once you got home, you two were cuddling in bed all day while he kept on reminding you that you are his. <3

JEEVAS MAIL (MATT) — (マイル=ジーヴァス) + (マット)

> 私は想像します — he'd play it off . . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — matt is a member in mello's gang that's known for being cocky and overconfident.

꩜ .ᐟ — due to that, he doesn't get jealous often. well, that and because he trusts you and doesn't see the need.

꩜ .ᐟ — BUT, on the off chance he does get jealous, it could go one of two ways.

꩜ .ᐟ — one, he plays it off with a smirk and a puff of his cigarette, or two, he just mocks the person straight to their face. with no regrets, may i add.

꩜ .ᐟ — he earns a smack in the back of the head, for that.

꩜ .ᐟ — but don't get your hopes up. he's not going to admit he was ever jealous. (not that he needs to. it's obvious, lol.)

MIKAMI TERU — (魅上 照)

> 私は想像します — he would be aggravated. . . !

꩜ .ᐟ — now, mikami is a man of order and structure. he enjoys schedules and planning. he looks forward to the same things each day.

꩜ .ᐟ — however, this criminal defense lawyer can't help but feel the slightest bit of aggravation when he sees this, nobody, approaching his partner.

꩜ .ᐟ — of course, the calms himself down since x-kira can blow his cover, can he?

꩜ .ᐟ — so he let you have that little interaction with them, and continued on with your guys' day not showing much acknowledgement towards what happened.

꩜ .ᐟ — but once you guys got home and he proceeded to his office, we all know what he did.

꩜ .ᐟ — delete, delete, delete.

©𝐒𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐎𝐌 — 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[shaisuki]

"i'm protecting you."

you scoff at him with tears threatening to spill from your eyes. throwing the hoodie in the couch and the embarrassment seeps through your whole being, remembering the earlier dilemma rin bestowed to you.

"protecting me? are you out of your mind?! that man hadn't done anything to me!"

"yet. a little gratitude from you wouldn't hurt." he quips at you. removing his coat and hangs it.

"gratitude? do you think you deserve it from what you'd done, rin?" your voice raising a bit at him and rin only gives you a side eye glance with a raised brow.

"i sure deserve it, I did it for you and you should be grateful for it. no one but me will ever be able to protect you from harm's way."

"what the fuck you talking about rin? harm? that's it? i sure don't need protecting. i'm a fucking adult rin!" you snapped at him. you can't believe sometimes at rin. his reasonings and outbursts at things are a little over and it ends up hurting you without him realizing.

now, you were being stubborn and as much he don't want to use the word. you were being a bitch but he doesn't say it aloud. he knew how much the word weigh and being the stable and the reasonable one in the relationship, he's going to give you a piece of his mind.

that includes pinning you in the couch. his body hovering above yours and his hand squishing the cheek, putting enough pressure to hear him out.

"you're an adult. a oblivious one. i'm telling you right now. you're the unreasonable one. what would you do if he continued touching you or did you want him to continue? tell me." he firmly says. challenging you and the tone of his voice it was condescending. as if it was telling you, you were the immature one in the relationship and you need from protection in which he thinks.

you can't believe what you were hearing coming from him. staring at those teal-colored eyes of his who swirls with coldness and seriousness that there's no care for you in those gaze of his.

"no." defending yourself from his accusations at you. "why would i like him touching me and..." your words dying out and you can't find yourself to defend your point. mind becoming jumbled and conflicted. you tried to find your voice and with rin looking at you like you were the biggest mistake of his life.

the tears came rolling and it wouldn't stop. his expression seems to soften. you were helpless sometimes and naive. not knowing how many filthy fuckers had tried to make a move for you and you should be glad. you have him. itoshi rin. your boyfriend who would gladly burn the world if it means to protect you.

"i told you so. i'm just protecting you." he coos at you. caressing your cheek with his thumb.

well, he got point. a voice in your head told you. he's right, you were being unreasonable. too oblivious to pick up what things may come to you. be it to bring peace of harm to you and rin was just protecting you. in his own little ways.

"i'm sorry." you began to apologize to him. holding his hand in your cheek. the tears continuously falls and breaking out in sobs.

"i'm sorry. i'm sorry.i'm sorry.i'm sorry." you repeated like a broken record. begging for his forgiveness. the tears blurring out your vision.

rin's cold but he's no heartless. deciding you earned his forgiveness. he comforts you that only can him do to you. letting you cry yourself out until it reduces to hiccups and sobs.

pulling you closer to his and placing your head to his chest. wiping the dried tears in your round cheeks. his fingers drawing patterns in your back.

"i'm sorry, rin."

"ssh. it's fine now, okay? you're forgiven."

kissing your forehead and rin's assured. you won't be doing anything to upset him. maybe. just make sure he's around to correct you.

[moonrisecoeur]

apathy — leon kennedy

author’s note: this is so horribly self-indulgent self-centered self-serving, it might as well not even be x reader and literally just leon x moon i’m so sorry. this is angsty smutty nonsense for anyone who wanted more feelings and less horniness out of gratitude. i do not apologize for any comparisons of the reader being like the moon.

wc: 3.3k

content: switchy/sub!leon x switchy/dom!reader, fem!reader, she/her pronouns, afab reader, re4r leon, scratching and bruising, hickeys, masochist!leon agenda, reader’s got a lot of feelings, mention of edging and denial, mentions of food

warning: this is not dark content, but reader is lowkey toxic. please be aware that i don’t endorse treating your partner like this. mention of using a knife on him once.

notes:

“i will begin to despise you if i let you in.”

“and i will adore every moment of your resentment.”

“i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”

“it’s okay, i like you as you are.”

—

“i promise that you don’t want me,” you had said once. leon didn’t really know what to do with that statement. it was a promise, but you would have already broken it a million times over; that is how badly he wants you.

he knows what you really meant. it wasn’t some promise you had no way of keeping. it was a warning, a cautionary tale. wanting you would not be good for him, plain and simple. though, sometimes, plain and simple isn’t always as such. sometimes it’s much, much more complex than meets the eye.

he recalls the moment in his apartment as clear as day. you had said, “look. i want you. i very clearly do, this is not… me denying that fact. what i am trying to say is that you do not want me. i don’t care what you think you know. what you think you want. you don’t want to have me.”

he took a while to think about what you had said. it wasn’t a choice he had, to pick you or to pick freedom. it wasn’t one or the other. you didn’t let him pick you, because he would have, you knew it, he knew it. he would give you anything.

his biggest problem is he never knew why. you made yourself very clear, you wanted him, and this, you had him, but you refused to let him have you.

“you don’t want me,” you said, but he does.

you try to block him out, to avoid him, even as he tries and pushes you for answers, to know why, why you don’t let him have you, why you insist he can’t want you.

he keeps pushing, keeps chasing you. in a way, it’s nice. you like being chased, being wanted, desired. the only problem is that it’s leon. if it was anyone else, anyone less moral and perfect and everything the world needs desperately and does not deserve, then maybe you would be more okay with letting this all happen.

but leon doesn’t deserve how you’ll inevitably treat him, using your power over him to do whatever you please, using him for every last drop of pleasure he has to offer you, and then leaving him when you’re done. he would be the most delightful treat, but you abstain simply out of guilt from how perfect the man is.

you don’t know if you could ever forgive yourself for ruining leon, making him recover from the misery that would be your love.

—

“you know i’m not good for you,” you whisper to him, “i love you and love you and love you until you can’t breathe with how filled to the brim you are with my affection and adoration and then i leave you alone to… do whatever it is you do while i want to be alone,” you tell him, more like lecture him, as he stands there. he’s trying to get closer you and you won’t let him, both figuratively and literally. he tries to reach out for your hand but you pull back.

“i’ll leave you alone. you hate people who do that,” you murmur that last part, and leon notes to himself that someone who doesn’t care wouldn’t remember his propensity to dislike the people who have left him alone before.

“that’s… fine. i know you’re introverted and… you need alone time, i get it,” he tries to reason, even with his own insecurities, “i’ll be okay.”

“no, you don’t understand, i am terrible. i will crave you and ache for you and need you and still know i am not a torture that you deserve,” you’re glaring at him with an anger that isn’t real, it is more out of desperation, “if i can know i am awful, why can’t you?”

“call me ignorant if you want, i don’t care. i want the worst of you,” he says, reaching out again. you take a step back, but he takes two forward, and his presence is never one you’ve been known to resist, “let me have y—”

“i will hurt you!” you tell him, but you give in just slightly. you bring your hands to his waist, too gentle for your previous statement to make sense. he thinks you’re lying, anything to push him away. you’re too soft on him to be so cruel.

“you know i’m a masochist,” he still laughs. he holds you back as you reach out for him, your soft, teary eyes vaguely make out a smile from his pretty lips. what a terrible time to be joking, leon.

“that’s not funny, leon,” you whisper.

“never said it was,” he feels tears prickling at his eyes too. he wonders how you could be so cold and uncaring if you’re crying for him right now. he wonders if maybe, just maybe, you’re not selfish like you say you are. you’re just a girl who has only ever had to look out for herself.

“i will hate you,” you bite your lip, nervous. he’s winning, “i will do terrible things to you.”

“i will love you just as much to balance that out. and there is no crime you could commit against me that i would not forgive you for. not that you… would need or want my forgiveness.”

moments pass where your hands are digging in trenches into his skin, knowing you’ll never be able to let him go if this goes on any longer. he holds onto your hips, afraid you’ll leave if he lets go.

he aches to break the silence, but you won’t believe anything he says anyway. he’d tell you he saw the good in you, the girl who was nice and cared about others, and you would have the displeasure of telling him it’s all a facade.

“i will begin to despise you if i let you in, you realize that, right?”

“and i will adore every moment of your resentment,” he smiles softly, sadly, like it's all he wants. like he’d take the sweet fragments of you over any other full person. of course he would. they wouldn’t be you.

you dig your fingers into his skin, rough but not painful, aching to take him but still nervous that he doesn’t really know what he’s signing up for, “i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”

“it’s okay, i like you as you are,” he says, his voice as gentle as ever. leon has always been gentle, kind, soft. god you just want all of him to yourself. you are everything he is not, possessive and selfish and cruel, but he loves it. he wants the worst of you.

give me the devil as my lover and i’ll serve her forever, his heart calls.

you can’t help the urge to give in, to let him win, let yourself take what you want by letting him win. you can’t help tightening your grip on his waist, pulling him in for a full hug that he reciprocates, big arms wrapping around your shoulders like he could shield you from the world. even if you were the monster you say you are.

words fail him, but he’d give you anything. he’d let you do anything, take his breath, his soul, his sanity, his life.

you say you’re a monster? prove it.

—

you do just that.

he’s not saying you’re dramatic… but you’re not the evil monster you’re painting yourself out to be. you’re a little apathetic sometimes, but aren’t we all?

he gets why you think you’re some monster. you can be selfish. you’re a loner at heart, and that just doesn’t work out well with the whole ‘relationship’ thing. you’re possessive despite not giving him attention, no one else can either. you want him all to yourself even when you don’t want him at all. sometimes he wonders why, but he doesn’t question you. you’re not even possessive most of the time, if anything, you just want his attention.

you said you’re mean and cruel and you warned him that you wouldn’t change, but he just doesn’t believe it. you’re the ‘stop to help old ladies cross the street’ type of caring. you’re the ‘hand on his shoulder to get him out of someone else’s way’ type of caring. you’re the person who stays behind as everyone else walks ahead when someone’s tying their shoe. you care. you’re kind. you don’t see it.

you, and everyone else in this world, mistakes apathy for cruelty. it’s like, you don’t care about what people have to say? you must be the devil incarnate.

1. wrong. you not being interested in people around you isn’t something you can control. sometimes people are just boring.

2. he thinks the devil (you!) is hot.

and you feel too deeply, too ashamed about everything to be as apathetic towards the world as you think you are. leon looks at you and sees how you care. it’s different, but it’s not wrong. he knows you don’t care about the stories people tell you, you don’t remember pieces of their lives or their birthdays. you don’t care when they share those fragments of themselves, vulnerable and desperate for reassurance you’re not going to give them.

you don’t care. and you hate that you don’t care, but hating your apathy doesn’t make it go away. it doesn’t cancel out the cruelty you think you are. and that is the epitome of it all. you care so badly about how much you don’t really.

leon holds you close as you cling to him, arms wrapped around his torso as you curl your head into his chest as you lay on the bed, cold feet hanging off the edge of the mattress like the evil monster underneath would come to take you away. maybe it should, you muse. maybe then i could forgive myself for being so wrong.

and for stealing leon away from the world. someone so perfect. not actually perfection, because things are less likable when there’s nothing to critique about them. it is only when something is flawed in many ways that loving it so deeply is possible. it is easy to love something perfect. it is rewarding to love something imperfect and raw and human and real.

but in an ironic way, it is easy to love leon. he’s so loving and kind, you wonder why he’d ever want you because you’re very much not easy to love, but to leon? maybe you are.

so when his hands cradle your head against his chest, his body enveloping yours like a thick fog settling over you, you let him. and you wonder why he could love someone so wrong. to him, your flaws are a million times more prominent. and that means he could only love you deeper.

—

if you’re a bad friend, then you’re a worse lover. your body aches for his just like him for yours and you give him nothing and take everything. you take and take and take until he’s exhausted, but the worst (best?) part is leon only wants to give and give until you push his head away from you, until you force him to stop.

your body takes him like he’s the only drug you’ve ever craved, carving sweet nothings into his wrist and thighs and shoulders with your fingertip, though he’s sure you imagine doing so with a blade encompassing your hand. he shivers at the thought. maybe he wants it too.

you shatter him to pieces with every touch, picking up the broken pieces of the mess you’ve made of him. you keep them close, treasuring every kiss you place on his neck, every touch on his waist, the way his cock fills you up so perfectly.

he loves that you just take whatever you want from him. no warning, no concern for him. you know he wants to be used for your every desire, every need. he’s yours to drain of life like a vampire sucking the life out of its helpless victim.

you tell him what to do, order him around viciously, and he has no choice but to obey. what’s he going to do? try and tell you what to do? dominance has never been his forte, he’s too awkward, too shy. besides, if he even tried to tell you you’re a ‘good girl’ right now, you’d probably slap him.

to be fair, he’d probably like it, like the sting of your palm against his cheek, like the burning feeling afterwards, like the red mark on his face in the aftermath. he still won’t do it, for your sake. call that self-sacrifice.

you dig your nails into his skin, into his chest, his waist, his thighs, until small little crescent moons cover his entire body, leaving the mark of the moon that you were in his sky.

if he was the sun, you were the moon. he shines and shines and shines and you take his sunshine and keep it as your own. he lets you because it makes you brighter, happier, lighter, god you’ve seemed so much happier these days. ever since you gave in and let yourself be loved by him, he’s made your life nothing but brighter. doesn’t make you feel bad for your incredibly chronic case of general apathy, just makes it easier to not feel like a monster on the daily, which is appreciated. you worried so much about how cruel and selfish you would be to him and he’s been nothing but joyous since.

when you’re not pressing your nails into him, you’re gripping him so tightly that you just might bruise him. it’s alright if you do, he’s always liked it rough. his body is a clean canvas that’s yours to depict your destruction upon. by the end, he's heaving, skin red and irritated from scratching and bruised up all on his neck and thighs. your mouth is insatiable when it comes to his neck, the vampire comparison must have really been accurate.

he likes that you’re selfish, that making him orgasm was never your goal. sure, you’re not going to deny him, though maybe you would, now that he thinks about it. okay, try that again, you weren’t trying to deny him this time, but that doesn’t mean you cared if he did cum. if anything, you did it for your own selfish wants, getting to watch him fall apart so helplessly.

you took care of yourself, because that’s all you know how to do.

his heart still aches when he sees tears welling up in your pretty eyes, switching positions so he could hold you close as you ride him, his hands rubbing circles into your back, “i got you, pretty girl. just breathe.” and that’s it.

he knows if he keeps talking, you’ll get uncomfortable, and you’ll run away. like a wild animal that might get scared off at any moment, he treads cautiously and treats every moment of you in his arms with the utmost value. you come undone just a few moments after him, and you ride out your orgasm even as he bites back whimpers of pain. he’s sensitive and tense, sure, but you’re still grinding down on him, using him for every last drop of pleasure, and he’s not in any position to stop you.

you collapse onto him, as if fully giving in to that feeling that says to trust him. to hold him close. to love him endlessly for putting up with your constant bullshit.

“you’re so beautiful,” he whispers as you lay together on the bed, his fingertips brushing through your hair. he’s painfully gently, so much more so than you are with him. (you’d feel bad if he wasn’t moaning so loudly every time you hurt him.)

you hum, hand rubbing his side, up and down motions following the curve of his torso, enjoying the way he groans in discomfort, “i warned you that i was mean,” you say, enjoying the way he laughs.

he’s so bright and lively with you, and you can’t help but wonder if you’ve brought out something in him that was hidden away too. more youthful, free of the problems bestowed upon him by the events of his early 20s. he’s even more beautiful than you are to him. not that he’d ever think that’s possible.

“i know, i know…” he mumbles, his hand placed on the back of your head as he pulls you in for a soft kiss, his other hand on your cheek, thumb brushing against it almost as if to wipe away tears. luckily, you were past that. you had cried enough.

you warned him that you were mean, cruel, apathetic, distant, etc, and maybe you were. or maybe you would become those things. maybe this is the high high before the low low you had talked about once. the moments where you’re perfect and loving and amazing right before your descent into resentment and cruelty.

but for now? all leon knows is you’re a helluva lover and he can't imagine a better way to sleep than in a lover’s arms. he falls asleep before you do, sleeping like a baby before you doze off.

you stay awake a little bit longer, still plagued with the thoughts of what the hell you did to deserve this man. you come to the conclusion that sometimes bad things happen to good people.

and sometimes? good things happen to bad people. leon’s love was the best thing you could ever obtain, and you refuse to let it go.

—

the next morning, he kisses your cheek as he serves you breakfast, and talks about something you don’t care about. he’s sure you’re not listening, but he doesn’t mind. he’s more just thinking out loud to himself.

you stare at the plate as you eat, off in your own world. he just waits until he can be a part of your world again, watching you intently. he likes looking at you, even like this. you’re far too beautiful for his soul to handle.

you look over at him as you notice him staring, “hm?” you groan, making a small sound to acknowledge and question his gaze.

he just shakes his head, “just like looking at you, pretty,” he smiles, and you roll your eyes. you can’t help the adoration that fills your bones at the sight of him. he’s perfect. everything to you. even if you can’t always show it, or even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

you told him you wouldn’t change for him. and he never wanted you to. there was nothing to change, you were already perfect to him. he can’t help but keep his eyes on you the whole morning before he has to leave for work.

as he does, even though it’s with a heavy heart because you look so sad that he has to go and he never wants to make you sad, he gives you his goodbye kiss. your hand finds the back of his neck and your thumb pressed on a newly tender bruise on the side of it. he winces at the touch, and you smirk. he’ll never forget how fatal you are, even in your… softer moments.

[shortiepinocco]

Liam would have easily forgive all these clown for ruining his name and take his life - but dear Lord, we are nowhere near his level.

Now all articles spread every single kind of slanders everywhere on internet.

[subskz]

i am deeply disappointed in skz

i have so many thoughts that i’ve been trying to put into words but to be quite honest they’re all meaningless anyway when there are much more important things to focus on right now. what i will say is this—one of the biggest things that made me fall in love with skz beyond their artistry and their direct involvement in everything they create, was their integrity. their ability to acknowledge their faults, to apologize to the ones they hurt, and always strive to be better people than they were yesterday, even within the resitrictions of the kpop industry. i have rarely found myself questioning whether or not their hearts are in the right place. but for them to be associated with zionist after zionist now of all times, when the genocide of palestinians is worse than it’s ever been for 7 months straight and more well-documented than it’s ever been in history, is something i can’t look past

i never have and never will shape my beliefs around celebrities, and i will never rely on an idol to serve as my moral compass, but i don’t think it’s so crazy to have expected better from skz. i’m well aware that a lot of this is out of their control, but if jype continues to make decisions like this, at what point does working with zionists in the midst of one of the most horrific tragedies our world has ever seen become the norm for skz? at what point do i stop looking away from it and wait for it to pass, only for it to happen again and again in the future? even if this goes against skz’s beliefs, which i hope with all my heart it does, i can’t in my right mind continue to support them when their projects uplift, praise, or have any connection to zionists. i can’t in my right mind continue to support them when they’re smiling in a photo next to a man who said he would make the most out of serving in the iof artillery. there are no words to describe the feeling of seeing them happily posing for pictures with zionists as gaza is being bombed in real time and over one million palestinians are being forced to evacuate rafah on foot as israel launches attacks on a supposed “safe place”

after 5 years of loving and supporting skz, i have to draw the line. so i will be stepping away from them for a while, which includes putting all writing for them on hold. if something about this bleak situation changes, if they say something like they have in the past, i may consider supporting them again. i want to believe in skz more than anything, but all the details surrounding this godforsaken song have just gotten worse and worse, and if this passes without them ever acknowledging it, i honestly don’t know if i can see them the same way again

either way, this isn’t about me or skz or kpop. more importantly than my feelings of disappointment, i’m going to continue pouring all of my energy into supporting the people who truly need and deserve it; palestinians. i urge you all to never stop standing up for palestine. to give up on them would be to give up on our very humanity. i will do everything i can until the very end, i hope you guys will too

[maryamf1d]

Bullying

Liam has faced hatred over these past few months for people were convinced that he hated zayn and harry. But how could you hate liam? When he literally helped everyone in the band. Trying to pick up pieces made everyone smile. After the band split apart, he was the one who was left behind. Like you should see that people were there supporting zayn for his new single (never neglecting the fact that people somehow started to hate him as well for leaving why do they do that!) but then many many people supported zayn. Then there was harry, there's a biiiig community of us that doesn't listen to liam, louis, niall or zayn, but harry. So basically Harry's got the biggest support (which obviousleh he deserves and so all of them deserve too). Niall, they all were very excited for niall to release his singles and album. They supported him in a way where it was seen. For louis and liam, the ones who were the best songwriters of the band, had been left behind. I see no support behind liam. I saw no support behind louis until, FITF tour and album. That made me soooo happy I can't define it in words. Now liam had been releasing singles but no one quite noticed because nothing was a banger still saying that it's the lack of support. Not a lot of people like liam now. All the things he had said he's apologized for them. YOU GUYS NO ARROGANT ASS APOLOGIZES FOR ANNNYTHING!!!! Where are you living. Even when they receive hate ok? Even when they receive hate!!! Now honey lemme clear this out I've seen many people on the internet saying bad things about him and saying but they're heartbroken because he wasn't the liam we knew and we lost our childhood. Bro, i definitely am sorry that you lost that and you're allowed to show grief and definitely are allowed to mourn and give condolences. But you are not allowed to talk about things, bad things that he did in the past. Like bb honey, are you guys literally ignoring the fact that this man has been very much upset. And DEPRESSED? Why do you not see that. Makes me furious makes me furious! Because i know what the hell is going through someone's mind when their mental health is slightly compromised. Depression is a thing you can't control. You have no control over how you manage the situation "the liam we used to love is not the liam he became" this statement, this thing defines that there was something that had been going on in his life. Always wonder WHY (helps a lot). I've been studying psychology as a subject and dear friend, i can understand many behaviors that such patient manifest. Now i want you tell me, if someone was a sunshine like liam and becomes someone that you guys paint bad, isn't it obvious he was depressed. Like honestly in this world everyone deserves kind words okay? And people haven't been showing kindness to liam. Everyone literally everyone has said things that they didn't mean to. You don't define a man from his mistakes. And he admitted things that he said were not quite nice so please no asshole has admitted doing wrong. He is the best person. He could've been better. Think of yourself in situations that you were misunderstood. Think of it in a different way please. Please don't hate on him. Because whoever he's left behind are still alive and feeling the pain that you people give through words. You're bullying me, you're bullying his family, you're bullying his friends and bullying his fans. It's not an inner child that mourns to his death, it's everything in us directioners that's mourning. I feel everything you say about him. We all feel everything you say about him. Please stop torturing us and his friends and family. We did nothing wrong to you guys. HE DID NOTHING WRONG TO YOU GUYS.

[featherstorm2004]

All For One and the power of context

I tend to drift alongside the BNHA fandom as a somewhat casual enjoyer so I haven't really made much posts about the series even if I do like it. Mostly because the things I want to say have already been stated by someone else so, I never felt a need but with these latest chapters I wanted to mention what I believe is Horikoshi"s biggest strength "context".

What I mean by that is his ability to turn seemingly boring or one note characters into some of the most fascinating by showing how these characters upbringings and living situations made them who they are today. And I believe we can all agree this is shown most strongly with the villains, are most recent example being All For One who has made the transformation from a pure evil one note villain to a complex human being within just a few chapters, even if All For One himself would refuse to admit to such humanity.

This can also be seen with other examples such as Mr Compress, Dabi and Toga with the later being the most demonised by the fandom until recent chapters. But for now I wish to focus on All For One as I find his situation to be the most fascinating because unlike the other villains who desperately want to be seen as human and accepted by the world around them, All For One seems almost afraid to admit his humanity and the cruelty of his circumstances.

Ever since All For One was introduced we have been lead to believe by the narrative and All For One himself that he is simply pure evil, that there is no complex reasoning behind what he dose or why he dose it he was simply "born arrogant". But I don't believe that and I don't think Horikoshi wants you to believe that either, it has been displayed to us multiple times in the series that there is no such thing as people who are born evil. I would argue that nature vs nurture is one of the key themes of BNHA.

One key example of this is Endeavour and Dabi, where in the early arcs of the series we are led to believe Endeavour to be this pure evil abusive monster who tormented his family and whilst he was most certainly an abusive prick, Endeavour can't be simplified so quickly with his atonement arc being a clear sign of that. And then there's Dabi who was hated for not caring about his family or friends because of the way he tried to deflect and hide any emotions that weren't pure anger or disgust, then his complete backstory that wasn't from Endeavour's point of view we see almost immediately after the fire he rushes back home to apologies to his family.

The reason I bring these things up is because it displays seamlessly how the lack of context to Dabi and Endeavour's stories led to them to be demonised and simplified into pure evil characters when that is far from the truth.

And I believe a similar phenomenon has begun to scour with All For One, as with the most recent chapters, where we have been allowed to peel back to mask the demon lord just a little bit to see the real man behind the mask of evil. Now dose this mean I am implying that All For One is simply misunderstood or that he can be redeemed? God no but that's not the point, that''s never been the point.

We aren't meant to like All For One or think that he deserves forgiveness but we are supposed to understand him, to deconstruct the layers of the number one villain and understand how he has gotten to this point. To understand that he was a child born in what was essentially an apocalypse with no parents, no name and no one willing to help him because of his quirk, where him and his brother where hunted by hate groups and the government for simply being born different, where he had to not only find a way for himself to survive but also his sickly twin who couldn't help him much due to his illness.

It is this very important context that allows us to understand how a man like All For One came to be. But we must also understand two very important things and that 1) All For One is a liar and 2) he is very childish. At first I thought it was strange how juvenile he acted during these recent arcs and even stranger when he started de-ageing but now I understand why, because the truth of the situation is that All For One never truly grew up from his days as a young child reading comic books with his brother.

In many ways all of this conflict, pain and destruction is merely an extension of that, he is quite literally a child playing at being the big bad in his favourite story. It also explains why he doesn't understand why his brother wants to stay away from him because it's just a game why are you getting worked up over me breaking a few toys? This also would explain all his tantrums first with All Might and now Hawks because they're ruining his game and his story.

Now that's not to say that I think All For One doesn't understand all the pain he's caused or that what he's doing is wrong. But like early Shigaraki he's distance himself to it, it's a similar phenomenon where people in a video game are more willing to do more messed up stuff like murder or bulling a character because they are distanced from it to a point they feel comfortable acting that way just to see what happens.

That's also why I believe All For One clings to his demon persona so much, because if he is truly a demon if he was simply born evil with no ability to feel love or empathy then that also means that he doesn't have to take accountability for his actions because that was simply how he is.

But it's not just about accountability.

I also think the demon persona is a form of self defence for All For One, a way for him to take back control from a world that denied it to him. Like most victims of trauma he is trying to create a way for him to have agency in a situation he originally had no control in, this can be seen in many children who place themselves in the positions of the hero's in the stories they are exposed to, so they too can feel that sense of power and control in they're own lives.

So, that's simply what All For One did only instead of mimicking the hero he decided to mimic the villain. And I think his reasons for doing so are fascinating, at first he relays to the audience and All Might that it's simply a power thing or his desire to rule the world but it's not that simple.

The real reason is surprisingly more human, All For One wants to be loved, to be relied on and trusted. Essentially, All For One desires a family, a community to call his own after being denied one his entire life and this explains a lot about his earlier actions, hell in one of the first vision's Deku receives about All For One he refers to his minions as his "dear friends" and when he is fighting with All Might one of his biggest grievance is how All Might forced his "dear friends" to go under ground.

He even refers to Aoyama as his nephew and gets him and his family to call him uncle, this man is obsessed with the idea of family. Which in turn explains his absolute rage and hatred to all the barriers of One For All as in his eyes they stole the only family he's had since birth, the only person who loved him unconditionally, until he went too far. It's probably the reason All For One chose to fixate on Tenko so much despite having an army of children who could be his successors as not only did he get his revenge by stealing a family member of one of All For One's holders but he also gets to have a child who appears close enough to him and his brother that he could pretend he is actually family.

However, I don't think All For One can admit this to himself, that he is in fact a human being. A human that desires to be loved and love in return because if he dose admit that to himself then he would shatter and he'd have to face all the emotions and consequences that he's been running from for over a century. It would essentially be an ego death for him as everything he's convinced himself he is and what he was taught to be by the world who fears him would suddenly be a lie and he can't handle that.

So, he lies to himself and to the world desperately trying to convince everyone that he is in fact the demon lord, and not a child who desperately clings to fiction. It's tragic in a way as ultimately I believe Yoichi was correct, if given the right care and upbringing All for one could have been the kindest ability in the world, but alas they were not so lucky.

As, for where his story is going I honestly have no idea, he may be killed, he may De-age into nothingness. But I think it's important to remember this context whenever we discus the story of BNHA with all it's flaws it is ultimately about broken people desperately finding a place in the world.

But that's just my opinion.

[withlovenavi]

f1!oikawa and f1!iwaizumi, childhood friends who dreamed to be together in formula 1, are now teammates.

oikawa thinks he has all: a good car, his engineers working non stop for the season, his team principal says publicly he's the n1 pilot of the team, and iwaizumi.

during the winter break, oikawa was going crazy. after so many years of pining for his best friend, he started to notice all the little things iwaizumi did for him. things that wasn't very best friend-like. he had hope.

so he invited over his childhood friend to spend the break with him. days passed and nothing happened. oikawa was getting restless.

and, right after new years, iwaizumi finally kissed him.

recluded in a hotel in the dolomites, oikawa and iwaizumi just spend their time to make up for the lost time.

so, the season starts.

oikawa is leading, after two races wins and a pole. iwaizumi close. the car is getting better and better and the natural distance between oikawa and iwaizumi natural pace is getting shorter and shorter.

right after the spring break, iwaizumi wins the race. oikawa only leads by ten points.

but oikawa is happy, happier than ever. his lover is getting the recognition he deserves and the team is secured the constructor championship before the break.

for the spring break, they go to iwaizumi's house in st tropez. away of all public eyes, their love blooms.

back on track, oikawa and iwaizumi alternate first and second place on every race.

at some point, iwaizumi's father appears on the paddock.

oikawa doesn't like him. he could be a formula 1 world champion or the queen of england, it wouldn't make a difference, he will still a shitty father. oikawa still remembers iwaizumi crying in his arms to sleep after a particular bad argument when they were kids.

iwaizumi is always upset after every visit which make oikawa resent even more the older man.

they celebrate each other birthdays, only 40 days apart. even if they're still on the european tour, oikawa and iwaizumi sneak out and they properly celebrate in private.

however, it's during iwaizume birthday that oikawa notices how close the two men are. it's odd as iwaizumi always complains about his father to oikawa but he knows iwizumi will tell him everything.

the summer break comes. oikawa and iwaizumi spend it together as usual in a luxury resort. but when iwaizumi thinks oikawa is asleep, he goes out to make some calls. once, oikawa is close enough to hear clearly iwaizumi's father voice.

when they come back to the paddock, something changes. iwaizumi starts to be more aggresive on track. he wins the first race after disobey team orders. then he comes too close in the next circuit curve, forcing oikawa to break earlier than desirable. during the team meeting after the race, the argument between the two forces the team principal to kick them out to the motorhome.

iwaizumi starts to not share his imput in the presence of oikawa. iwaizumi's father becomes part of his team, oikawa sees them talking in hushes voices on their side of the garage.

their break out is ugly and messy and oikawa has never cried so much in his life. he feels how all the love he has to for his childhood friend is slowly becoming in his biggest fear: hate.

they're so aggresive on track that they have a crash. oikawa has the worst of it and that only fuels the hatred he feels toward his former lover. at the media press, iwaizumi refuses to apologize. and again during the team meeting.

media starts to put them against each other. the greatest rivalry in the century; who will win the championship?

the tension is making the team divide between team oikawa and team iwaizumi. iwaizumi's father gives more interviews. oikawa blocks iwaizumi from instagram and fan notice.

in the following two races, iwaizumi wins. he's first on the championship after six years on formula 1.

only three races left.

oikawa wins the next one. a rookie called tobio kageyama wins the other.

one race and the campionship.

iwaizumi races like mad man. he pushes oikawa outside the track. oikawa exceed maximum speed limits. they race like there's nothing else for them.

the last race becomes one of the best race in history. the greatest rivalry between two generational talents have their future sealed in 71 laps.

iwaizumi wins his first and only world championship. he cries on the podium, happier then ever, his childhood's dream come true.

on his right, oikawa is also crying. he's still happy for iwaizumi, still loving him, still hating him. but he knows this is the end.

the end of a friendship. the end of a dream. the end of a love.

[gloomysoup]

@steddieangstyaugust day 1 | prompt: second chance | rating: G | word count: 715 | tags: mention of cheating, angst (obviously), open ending | ao3

closed doors and consequences

Eddie doesn't deserve a second chance. He knows that. What he did to Steve is beyond forgiveness. That doesn't stop him from coming back, again and again, hoping against all hope that Steve will let him in.

“Go away, Eddie!” Robin’s voice shouts from the other side of the closed door.

If only he could get past Robin, just talk to Steve, maybe he can make this right.

“I just want to talk to him, Rob,” Eddie pleads, knocking on the door again.

“Well, too bad, because I'm not opening the door. I told you yesterday, and the day before, and I'll tell you again: fuck off.”

“Robin, please.”

“No, Eddie! You made your choice. You need to live with the consequences.”

So, Eddie leaves empty handed, once again.

He can't give up, though. Not until Steve himself tells Eddie to leave. Not until Steve tells him he will never get a second chance. He has to try. He can't live without Steve.

Day after day, he goes back to that apartment; their apartment. He knocks on the door. He tries to talk to Steve, to apologize. And every day, Robin blocks his path. Every day, she doesn't open the door. Doesn't give him a chance. Eddie knows he deserves that. He deserves to stand in front of a door that will never open and plead forgiveness from the two people in the whole world who will never give it to him. He knows he fucked up the only good thing in his life. If he could, he would take it all back in a heartbeat.

He would go back to that night and change everything. He would never go to the bar with the guys. He would never have those drinks. He would never go home with someone else.

Eddie had been drunk. Absolutely wasted. He honestly thought the man who wrapped his arms around him at the bar was Steve. The clarity hadn’t come until the next morning, when he woke up in a bed that wasn't his.

It wasn't an excuse, though. He knows that. He fucked up. It shouldn't have happened.

That morning plays on a loop in his head. Stumbling through the front door of their apartment. Steve’s face, sitting at the table with his head in his hands. The worry in his voice as he asked where Eddie was, why he hadn't come home that night. Then Steve’s face when Eddie has to tell him what happened. How he woke up in someone else’s bed. How he made a mistake, the biggest mistake of his life.

It cost him everything.

He doesn't deserve a second chance. He doesn't deserve to explain himself, or talk to Steve. He doesn't deserve anything from Steve and Robin. He knows that. Yet he can't stop going back to the apartment, back to that closed door. Maybe, deep down, he was merely a masochist, putting himself in situations that only cause more pain. Why else would he keep going back to a door that never opens?

For weeks, Eddie keeps going back. He keeps knocking on the door. Robin always turns him away. Until something changes. One afternoon, Eddie finds himself standing outside the door, just like he does every day. He raises his fist to knock, and waits. Silence stretches for a few moments. Maybe no one is home. That wouldn’t be right, though. Steve is always home at this time. He knocks again, a little confused. Then he hears it.

“Who is it?”

Eddie never thought he would hear that voice again, even muffled through the door.

“It- it’s Eddie,” he says. “Can we- can we talk?”

When the voice speaks again, it’s a little clearer. Steve was closer to the door now. “What's there to talk about, Eddie?”

“Please, Steve, just- just let me- apologize. Explain. I don’t- I don’t even know, honestly. I know I fucked everything up, and I’m so sorry. I know I don't deserve a second chance. I just- I just need to talk to you. Please.”

Silence follows. Hesitation. Eddie thinks this is it. Steve is going to reject him. Turn him away. Tell him to go fuck himself, like he rightfully should.

But instead, for the first time in almost a month, the door opens.

[narutocharacterpolls]

ROUND THREE

MAITO GAI vs UMINO IRUKA

Reasons for submission under the cut

Gai

was instrumental in the success of the story - he may not have won against Madara, but he put fear in him and had it not been for hacks, he would have decimated him where no one else could

believes whole-heartedly in his student to the point of dedicating his life to making him a splendid ninja

came from nothing, worked his way up from nothing, and is now considered to be one of the greatest shinobi to have come out of the Hidden Leaf. People know and fear him

made Itachi bail. That man was ready to fight everyone else, but packed it up when Gai came on the scene

kicked Jiraiya in the face and never properly apologized

great salesperson - always has a spare jumpsuit to give to passers-by and hook them on his favorite brand. True influencer and fashion icon

had a bowl cut before it was cool

was a great friend to Kakashi, and was there for him during the highs and lows of his horrifically stressful life. Arguably saved Kakashi's life with his constant support, and the story could not have happened without him. Is considered by Kakashi - one of the most powerful and infamous shinobi in the world - to be his equal and his best friend

loves kids. Supports his own students like he was their father, and equally takes pride in Naruto and protected Sasuke after Sasuke's first run in with Itachi

in the anime, he is shown to be hard on the outside but clearly permissive in that he would sneak Chouji food in the middle of a mission and try to push Naruto into figuring out who Minato was

confident in himself and confident in others - he is everyone's biggest cheerleader and he isn't just talk; he'll work hard with you. When he says he'll do something, nothing will stop him and he will follow his promises even when no one is watching.

hot. Man has pretty privilege

amazing, supportive teacher and friend

he is always trying to be positive in such a dark world and cheer up those around him

he's so good to Lee, Tenten, and Neji, you can just tell how much he cares about those kids

his speech to Lee was super moving. He knew Lee was scared and made sure to be there for him

he was ready and willing to die to defeat Madara in order to save the others

an actual decent upstanding father figure

unbridled whimsy

excellent tits

Iruka

he is kind-hearted and soft and has a big heart

he always has a watchful eyes over his students. But he can also be stern if needed. He knows how cruel the world can be and wants to make sure his students are properly prepared for the dangers they'll face

he doesn't have prejudices against his students. No hostility towards Naruto who was often the victim of misplaced anger due to the Nine-Tails who was sealed within him. Thus, Iruka came to be one of the only adults Naruto respected in his youth as well as the only person who could control Naruto's behaviour to some degree

due to Iruka's more nurturing, protective and compassionate nature, Naruto views him as a mentor and Iruka in turn, views Naruto as a younger brother

he treats Naruto to ramen whenever Naruto returns from a mission, where Iruka gets to see how he is developing as a ninja

his refusal to allow Naruto to graduate at first was not out of spite, but merely out of caring strictness and a desire for Naruto to work harder and reach his own potential

has a great sense of duty, honour and selflessness as seen when he protected Naruto from an attack, suffering a shuriken wound in his back in order to protect him

he regards the children of the village as the backbone of their village, even being willing to sacrifice his own life to ensure their safety

Iruka to Naruto: "Stop acting like a baby! You want to know what I really think of you?! I think you're one of my most precious students… and… you're like a little brother to me."

he is Naruto's first mentor figure. He deserves more credit and screen time!

he's the only adult with a working brain

one of the few adults who sees Naruto as a human being not a God savior

is the only one who actually apologies to Naruto for treating him badly

one of the reasons Naruto turned out the way he did

he deserves a Reise

a nice father figure

[silverraes]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

10 BL Boys That Make Me Feel Things™

(not sexual, not romantic but a secret third thing)

okay so I wasn't exactly tagged in this but I saw several people doing this and I'll take just about any excuse to scream about my favorite characters so I'm just going to very sneakily join in on this trend 👀

there is absolutely no ranking to these bc I couldn't rank them if I wanted to

(also I changed the name a little bc my ace ass is literally physically incapable of wanting anyone carnally but I still have lots of thoughts lmao)

1) Tharn (The Sign)

I mean. is literally anyone surprised that this is where we're starting?

he's the nicest person out there. he can kick your ass if he wants to. he lost his parents at a young age and is absolutely convinced that everyone he loves is doomed to die and he keeps seeing visions of people dying and he's told again and again that those he has wronged in a past life - which he doesn't even remember - are still out to get him and yet he has so much kindness left for the world??

also he can be such a little shit and knows exactly how to tease Phaya back I love him so goddamn much.

(also that mole-)

2) Kim (Kinnporsche)

was he also on my characters I'd hit with my car list? maybe. and what about it.

I love him so much. he's such a badass but he's such a loser. famous singer who falls for a fan he was supposed to be investigating but is too emotionally constipated to admit it. badass son of a mafia family who can kick ass but only if he wants to. who does it like him honestly

(it also helps that he's played by just about the prettiest man alive)

3) Babe (Pit Babe)

did I start watching this show ironically? yes. is every mention of alphas and mpreg and that mama/papa thing hitting me like a brick and causing me 9000 psychic damage every single time? also yes. did I absolutely fall in love with the show and just about every character in it? you bet your fucking ass I did.

but I especially love Babe. he's just so babygirl. special alpha man who has to act tough and strong but just wants to be babied by his dumbass loser (affectionate) alpha boyfriend. like, he's actually so goddamn soft?? I love him.

4) Guy (Bake Me Please)

I think we all knew this was coming. I was literally gushing about him for half of the episodes. Guy my beloved. that show did not deserve you.

he spends the entire show supporting his crush's every decision and trying to make sure he's okay literally how could you not love this man

(yes he was a petty bitch for like 5 minutes there but he immediately apologized for it the next episode. properly. unlike certain other people-)

5) Sprite (Twins)

he's so himbo coded. himbo of all himbos. the himboest. not a brain cell in that head. he's my little dumbass I love him.

he deserves so much better than what he's being put through. someone please just love and support him for who he is. and also take him away from that family

(please talk to your boyfriend tho I am begging)

6) Wei Wuxian (The Untamed)

MY BELOVED. I could write essays about him. he's such a great character I love him so fucking much. if you ever had to bear witness to me talking about him.. I am so sorry.

sassy emo bitch with a flute and a tragic backstory who's seen as evil by just about everyone but only ever had the best intentions. absolute fucking dumbass. kicks ass. always smiling despite the circumstances. loves his siblings so damn much. doomed by the narrative. what more could you possibly ask for

7) Zhou Zishu (Word of Honor)

I'm trying so damn hard to keep this list to one character per show and it really took me a while to decide if I wanted to include him or Wen Kexing but ultimately it was Zhou Zishu for me

just.. god. him. assassin sect leader just trying to retire who keeps getting dragged into the biggest bullshit but doesn't really mind bc the bullshit comes with a mysterious pretty man. also that whole god damn nail thing. I have so many thoughts and feelings about that but this post would get too long if I got started on those-

(also actually pulling the "I'm literally dying" card to get out of chores is so fucking valid of him. more characters should do that)

8) Milk (Choco Milk Shake)

he is quite fucking literally a reincarnated cat, of course I love him. I could list reasons for why I love him but it would be the exact same reasons just about every cat person on earth lists for why they love cats so. but here's a quick summary, just in case:

petty. dramatic. knocks over glasses. silently loves you so fucking much.

9) Tew (My Dear Gangster Oppa)

I really did not expect to love him this much? greenest of green flags (except for the plot line we shall not talk about). can and will kill people and is fine with it (seriously it is so refreshing to see a mafia character not having a huge moral dilemma about being in the mafia). both a badass mafia man and a gamer guy who doesn't know how to talk to people and is absolutely whipped for his gamer bf.

also scars make a person just about 110x more attractive I don't make the rules. even if the scars are weird and yellow, it's the thought that counts.

10) Tian (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

I? love him??

I just love how he sets out to do something for someone he didn't even know because he feels like this person deserves that much at least and how he ends up genuinely loving and caring for those kids and the village and this inner conflict he's having the entire time but hiding oh so well and how he actually calls out his parents on their rich people bs and-

tagging everyone who reads this far and wants to do it. seriously. I mean it. if you want to do this, please go ahead and say I tagged you. I love reading everyone's thoughts.

[roz-ani]

Izzy deserved to hear that from Ed.

That's Izzy's family. It's Izzy whom the crew loves.

That was Izzy's arc, not Edward's.

Now, please, don't get me wrong. It is a part of Ed's growth. Still, the main focus has always been his relationship with Stede and his identity. You can absolutely dive into the captain's relationship with his crew, but you don't replace a character's arc with another one's, especially at the last minute.

I understand the symbolism of Blackbeard "dying" with Izzy. The gatekeeping, gaslighting, feeding the persona of the world's greatest and most merciless pirate staying in the past... I am also fully convinced that Blackbeard's right-hand man actually passing away to achieve that was unnecessary.

What this season did for Izzy was absolutely incredible. That man abandoned his ego and changed the way he perceived power, respect, loyalty, and support for and because of a group of people he despised at the beginning.

His main purpose has always been looking after any crew he was a part of. He had more contact with them than the captain himself, especially aboard the Revenge when Blackbeard was going through his mental breakdown. In the first season, we saw Izzy wouldn't be the best captain, but he did have the experience and eventually learned how to look after his subordinates. All because he finally experienced proper care himself.

He got his heart broken in more than one way, yet managed to find his people, his family. Izzy finally got to know what real appreciation looks like. He got it from the people he initially mistreated. The crew decided to look after Izzy because "he's their dick". They stopped fighting after seeing him at his lowest. They made him a new prosthesis out of the figurehead of all things, showing the audience how they see him - the crew's protector, the spirit of the ship.

At first, Izzy kept pushing them away. Not out of hatred for them, but for himself. Because healing is difficult, it hurts, it takes incredible strength and willpower to admit to yourself that your environment is harmful and that you might be the problem as well. Especially when leaving it seemingly deprives you of your identity or purpose in life. Besides that, come on, it's Izzy Hands. A man who wasn't heartless, but also not "soft", as he would have most likely put it himself. He was still rough around the edges and cynical. However, after all this time he finally allowed himself to let go and feel comfortable, so some of that bitterness disappeared over time. I still don't believe he was fully healed, but he was on the right path.

Despite changing his outlook on life, Izzy was still respected. He knew what mattered and what to do and say to make sure his crew's issues were properly resolved.

Now, Ed's apology. At first I felt like there didn't need to be any deep talk between the first mate and his captain, because they understood each other well enough. That's not what communication is about though. It's not about taking something or someone for granted. Especially is the conflict escalates to such extent. There should've been more to that. They should've both had a conversation about their relationship and what made them bad for each other. Most importantly, how they could fix that and heal together. If that would require them to part ways, so be it. At least they'd separate on good terms. Now we can only speculate.

I would say my biggest problem is not with Izzy Hands dying. It's about how he died. Although I doubt I'd support this decision in season 3, at least it wouldn't be so rushed. There was no proper build-up to it. Izzy and Richard, of all people, had a deep talk about understanding piracy, a concept that is a base for one's actions. This was probably the biggest red flag, which tragically appeared in the same episode Izzy died. The crew didn't thank him or bid him farewell. He wasn't properly mourned. He was buried in the ground.

"You should've expected that. Things were going too well. A mentor character always dies after regaining hope". I have two HUGE problems with that.

First of all: a mentor character? I guess? For two, maybe three episodes at best? Izzy did meet some mentor archetype points. He was Stede's mentor for a bit, I mentioned his experience and position as the first mate, but I wouldn't say that's his main purpose. The writers did, but we're going to talk about it in a second.

Second of all: this was many people's comfort show. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. I myself have praised this show for its take on communication and found family portrayal. It was fun, light-hearted, safe.

I understand the need to tell your story, I truly do. I know that people don't have the right to tell someone how to create, because the audience, especially the more pushy members, can be very often self-centered and don't know what's planned for a show's future. Except that these days you really have to be careful with how you plan your story with the corporations holding all the power - that's why we need to support the strikes. You need to be prepared to disclose necessary information in a proper way if needed. You need to pay attention to what you're portraying.

Now, I also believe that media literacy is dead (exaggeration) and people really can't for example understand that stories develop over time, seasons, or chapters unless they're consuming a media piece that has already run its course. They do have the tendency to take things literally and not search for the context.

Still, in the postmodern era of creativity, you need to know you don't hold all the power, despite not owning people anything. Your audience can interpret things on their own. What you believe to have no power or significance can mean the world to your audience. Remember how difficult it was for people to believe this show actually has LGBTQ+ characters and a love story in it? Or how the creator admitted he was surprised by the scepticism? I don't. Not only because I started watching the show quite late, but also because I don't consider myself to be a part of this community. It didn't mean so much to me, because I currently focus on different aspects of the content I consume. However, I know how they perceive media and their products. I may not have the same experience, but I know where theirs comes from. And I know that this show was just different. TV series, books, etc. do not belong only to the creators nowadays. Yes, they are their products, but they are made for an audience that has the right to individually approach and criticise them. And even though overinterpretation is a thing, there is no one right answer to certain issues.

BUT THEN AGAIN: THE MONEY. Was it the budget? I honestly have no idea. Perhaps it was, because literally everything is dependent on it these days...

See, we could argue back and forth about the behind-the-scenes, but I don't think I have enough knowledge of that. I also don't want to get into the topic of disability, suicide, abuse, etc., because I am not the right person for it, even though some of those things are a part of my experience. There are people out there who can give you their thoughts on their perception of Izzy's character and his significance in those areas.

I suppose my point is... I'm mad and genuinely disappointed. I can't remember the last time I was so attached to a character. I absolutely adored Izzy's character and was drawn to him in the first season. I related to him struggling with his toxic environment and finding a safe space. I was ready to see him become a captain. Heck, even if that wasn't planned for him, I still trusted the crew to let the character be happy after everything he's been through. Instead, I got this: "As long as you turn over a new leaf and heal, your death is a good one... Redemption equals no happily ever after... Remember that life isn't fair..." Aren't we tired of such narratives? What does it say about us and the media we consume? Isn't hypernormalisation of such issues exhausting?

I'm disappointed because I had hope. Even after getting betrayed by so many stories in recent years, I still had it. I had hope for a different character. Hope for a different show.

Edit: Just wanted to make something clear because I see more and more people focusing on Buttons sitting on Izzy's grave and David Jenkins liking a tweet about him being a witch. You could call me a hypocrite for pointing out people's lack of media literacy and not even considering the possibility of bringing Izzy back. That was my first thought. I would absolutely love for Buttons to do his magic and revive our man. There is something inside of me still holding onto that hope. I'm just really, really, REALLY tired of having hope in shows nowadays. I'm choosing to remain sceptical. Who knows, maybe I'll be positively surprised. Still, I stand by what I wrote: I think killing Izzy was unnecessary in the first place.