#the main plot follows one of the characters nephews as he's kicked out and then rescued by his aunt

[ahurumustdie]

I love my slice-of-life oc's bc i can just come up with the most mundane scenarios and it's a nice break from the more intense storyline in nh - like, in heron ave one of the conflicts is the fact that they all use a different name for the same cat bc originally she was just a stray that used to visit the house, and then they realised they were all feeding her so they decided to adopt her for realsies and its been literal years and everyone is still stubbornly calling her by different names (these include: Lady Christine of House 38, First of Her Name; Toad; Poppy/Popcorn; and Katherine "we can call her Kitty!")

[veliseraptor]

Hi! Can you give a brief spoilery summary of the Untamed? I just read [the pretties from your posts] died? Oh no. I tried getting information through google but it’s confusing for someone who doesn’t know the characters.

oh lord. there are all kinds of ‘brief summaries of the Untamed’ out there but I’ve always found them vaguely irritating so...I guess that means it’s time for my comeuppance in the form of having to do it myself? I’ll do my best.

I didn’t know how detailed you wanted me to get so I decided to get pretty detailed, since you did ask for spoilery. so this is like. entirely spoilers. spoilers for everything.

also, you can use, if it’s helpful, my brief character overview (‘brief’) which includes some plot information, and could be useful as cross reference also. I’m playing pretty fast and loose with a lot of terminology for the sake of intelligibility, because otherwise this would get even longer and have a lot more links.

also, because you asked me specifically for this, it’s going to have some bias. I tried to keep my interpretive commentary to a relative minimum? but. uh. yeah.

the briefest basic plot overview is (going off The Untamed canon, which you will also see abbreviated as CQL from the pinyin transliteration of the Chinese title (Chen Qing Ling)):

Wei Wuxian, a cultivation (think, loosely, magic) prodigy and creator of his own particular style of cultivation, dies reviled by most of the known world. Sixteen years later he’s raised from the dead by Mo Xuanyu, an outcast and the bastard son of one of the leaders of the main sects of the cultivation world, in order to take revenge on Mo Xuanyu’s enemies (specifically his abusive family and ~an unknown person~).

And here is where we get into the details.

Pretty much immediately upon Wei Wuxian’s resurrection, people start dying at Mo Manor, before Wei Wuxian has even done anything, because of (it turns out) a very angry spirit of a semi-sentient weapon. Wei Wuxian books it out of town after his old best friend/crush Lan Wangji shows up to help the Lan ducklings he’s shepherding (including most notably Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi, the only named characters of that bunch), only to wind up running into him again on the road - and not only him, but his orphaned nephew (shorthand, go with it) Jin Ling (Wei Wuxian was responsible for his parents’ deaths) and Jiang Cheng, his martial brother who (at least according to rumor) killed him sixteen years ago and still bears a hell of a grudge. In order to save Jin Ling, Wei Wuxian summons the “Ghost General” Wen Ning, who was supposed to be destroyed and whose presence confirms his identity to a very pissed off Jiang Cheng. Lan Wangji recognizes Wei Wuxian as well. Wei Wuxian passes out.

followed any of that? no? that’s fine, because now we’re heading into a thirty episode flashback that’ll clarify some things. (but not before you forget a whole bunch of things from the first two episodes.)

I’m going to split this into arcs. I’m also going to put this under a read more, because...yeah, this came out to just a little over 10,500 words. I’m...sorry.

have fun?

Cloud Recesses Summer School Arc

The time card says “sixteen years earlier” but it isn’t sixteen years earlier because that would make no sense, but it’s better to give up on timeline now or you’ll just drive yourself nuts.

This is the part of the show where you meet the main characters, some of whom you saw earlier (notably Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian’s younger sort-of brother), and some of whom you only know from reference (Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian’s older sort-of sister) and some of whom are significantly important (Lan Wangji). You also meet Jin Zixuan, the snotty heir to the Jin Sect, who will be important later. Jiang Yanli is clearly into him and he seems to very much not return the feelings.

At this point, there are five main sects that the characters belong to. They are (with the characters you’ve met from them so far: the Jiang Sect (Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli), the Nie Sect (Nie Huaisang, a flighty and sort of feckless fellow), the Jin Sect (Jin Zixuan, his social skills translator Mianmian), the Lan Sect (Lan Wangji, his brother Lan Xichen) as well as the Wen Sect (more on them in a moment). Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet and immediately...something. Wei Wuxian wants to make friends, and Lan Wangji seems to emphatically Not.

You also meet Meng Yao, who is Nie Huaisang’s brother Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, and also the bastard son of Jin Guangshan (the leader of Jin Sect). He is also the son of (using the words of literally everyone) a prostitute, which people remind him of at every possible moment, in case he was in danger of forgetting, or something. He and Lan Xichen have kind of a moment. 

Later on, members of the Wen Sect, led by Wen Chao storm in, posturing disrespectfully, and drop off Wen Qing to “learn” (but secretly she has a mission looking for the Yin Iron/Metal). The Wen are ascendant in power and seem to be flexing their muscle looking for trouble. 

Wen Qing comes as a set with her brother Wen Ning - the pair of them are from sort of...a secondary branch of the main Wen family, and she’s being coerced into supporting Wen Ruohan despite being not thrilled about it. Wei Wuxian bonds with Wen Qing’s younger brother Wen Ning, who has a weird situation that makes him vulnerable to possession (this is important later).

At one point Wei Wuxian proposes - in response to a question! He’s just being innovative! - to put it simply, necromancy, which is, to say the least, not a hit. Remember that for later!

Eventually, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up falling by accident into some ice caves, where they learn from one of Lan Wangji’s ancestors (Lan Yi, she’s cool) about the Yin Iron, of which she has a piece. It is an spiritually corrupted metal that can’t be destroyed so it was broken into pieces and hidden in different places. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji resolve jointly to find the other pieces.

Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli, and Jiang Cheng (henceforth “the Yunmeng siblings”) are picked up early by Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) because Wei Wuxian causes problems both on purpose and not. Wei Wuxian, however, puts together that Lan Wangji is going off on his own chasing the Yin Iron, and ditches the rest of his family to go help.

Yin Iron Hunt Arc

Wei Wuxian meets up with Lan Wangji, who is not thrilled to see him (at least, apparently). They run into Nie Huaisang, who joins them. They come to a town where everyone seems to have vanished and there is nothing fishy going on in the cave with the statue that looks like a dancing lady at all. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng leaves home to go track down Wei Wuxian and bring him back.

The statue comes to life, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji fight together to defeat it, and then a bunch of...undead villagers (sort of, they get better) attack them, only to be lured away by Wen Qing playing a flute (this ability will never be brought up again). Jiang Cheng reveals himself as having been hanging out watching this go down. Ultimately, by killing the Stygian Pigeon that belongs to Wen Chao, the villagers are freed and they move on.

After a brief stopover in a village, they hear some rumors about a haunted house and take off to go check it out. When they get there, everyone is dead and Xue Yang is on the roof just kind of vibing. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan manage to get him pinned down and taken captive. This is important and not just because I said so.

Nie Huaisang, who Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Wangji ditched in town, arrives here with Meng Yao, who proposes bringing Xue Yang to Nie Mingjue for justice purposes (which when I write it like that sounds...um. moving right along), which is where everyone heads next, less Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan who have their own things to do. Wei Wuxian realizes that Xiao Xingchen had the same master as his mother, and gets really excited about it; it’s adorable.

They go to Nie Mingjue, who is talked out of executing Xue Yang because they’re trying to find out where he put the Yin Iron (which they figure he has, because reasons. there are reasons, I just don’t feel like going into it.) Lan Wangji leaves in the night without saying goodbye, and then Wen Chao arrives. He is accompanied by Wen Zhuliu, who is called the Core-Melting Hand for reasons that will be important later. There’s a fight, Xue Yang gets loose, and Nie Mingjue finds Meng Yao in a very compromising position (killing a captain of the guard and among a bunch of other dead bodies). He kicks Meng Yao out of the Nie Sect.

Meanwhile, the Wens attack Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen’s uncle makes him leave to preserve himself and the most important texts. Everyone retreats to a cave that’s hidden and walled off; Su She (who was introduced briefly earlier) caves to threats to his life and tells the Wens how to get into the Lan’s cave sanctuary. Lan Wangji returns with Lan Yi’s Yin Iron and gives it and himself up to Wen Chao’s older brother Wen Xu to spare everyone else.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian leave for home (Lotus Pier). We witness family dynamics, which are terrible. The Wens want everyone to send their kids, specifically their heirs, to be reeducated in Wen territory, but they’re not hostages, we swear. No, really.

Reeducation Camp Arc

To reeducation camp with the Wens we go! Where Lan Wangji is not looking so hot, and Wei Wuxian rapidly causes problems on purpose to try to get to talk to him, but mostly just ends up getting himself tossed in a dungeon where he gets attacked by a very bad puppet of a dog. Wen Qing has told Wen Ning not to associate with Wei Wuxian because they’re on thin ice with their boss (Wen Ruohan), but Wen Ning sneaks him some medicine against Wen Qing’s orders anyway.

They go on a hunt, with the non-Wens featuring as bait. Here is where you meet Wen Chao’s main squeeze Wang Lingjiao, who was formerly a servant. Everyone ends up in a cave that contains a creature whose name is unfortunately translated as “Tortoise of Slaughter.” we’ll go with “Xuanwu of Slaughter” instead, it feels better. Wen Chao and his accompanying entourage make a run for it and ditch everyone else in the cave; they manage to sneak out but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji end up trapped with no way out. They team up and kill the Xuanwu, partially because Wei Wuxian acquires a very cursed sword. Afterward, he is feverish and asks Lan Wangji to sing - enter Wuji! their theme. You see Lan Wangji mouth that it is called “Wangxian” before Wei Wuxian passes out. (Yes, he did name his composition after their ship name. Aww.)

I’ve skated through that very fast but it is important because it’s like...the point where they seriously bond in a major way and it’s all very...like, there was only one bed only they’re trapped in a cave and injured and forced to rely on each other. So not actually really like that.

Wei Wuxian comes around outside of the cave with Jiang Cheng and Jin Zixuan, who brought help to rescue him and Lan Wangji; Lan Wangji, however, is gone.

Oh Shit Things Went Downhill Fast Arc

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian go back to Lotus Pier, where Wei Wuxian is in big trouble with Jiang Cheng’s mother (Yu Ziyuan, seen later emotionally terrorizing all her children), who already doesn’t like him and accuses him of bringing trouble down on them by defying the Wens. Jiang Cheng’s dad is terrible, Wei Wuxian reaffirms that he and Jiang Cheng will be Together Forever, you, the viewer, know that is absolutely not how that’s going to go.

Word comes that the Wen have attacked one of the smaller sects, and Jiang Cheng’s dad (Jiang Fengmian) goes with Jiang Yanli to talk to Jin Guangshan about how to deal with the Wens.

Then Wang Lingjiao arrives with word that they’re gonna be in big trouble if they don’t punish Wei Wuxian right now. Yu Ziyuan uses her lightning whip to beat the shit out of Wei Wuxian, but Wang Lingjiao wants her to cut off his hand. Then she makes the mistake of saying that they’ll be making Lotus Pier a supervisory office of the Wens, thank you.

Yu Ziyuan reacts...poorly, Wang Lingjiao calls on her backup Wen Zhuliu (and everyone else); seeing the writing on the wall Yu Ziyuan grabs Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, puts them on a boat, and sends them away, bequeathing her sick-ass lightning whip (Zidian) to Jiang Cheng. They run into Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli; Jiang Fengmian adds Jiang Yanli to the boat full of crying children and goes to sail back to Lotus Pier.

Lotus Pier falls, everybody dies, Jiang Cheng goes semi-catatonic and then disappears, having been captured by the Wens after going back for his parents’ bodies. (Which is more important than it probably sounds, from a Western perspective.) Wei Wuxian follows him and finds Wen Ning, who smuggles Jiang Cheng out and takes him, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Yanli to Wen Qing for safekeeping.

Jiang Cheng wakes up; his golden core (the...thing that lets him do superpowered things, let’s go with that) was destroyed by Wen Zhuliu. Melted, if you will. And it’s not the kind of thing you can just, you know, fix. He descends into absolute despair as Wei Wuxian looks frantically for a way to fix it - and finds one! Though Wen Qing is not happy about it, she still agrees.

at this point we see the return of an old friend! Song Lan, who has a bloody bandage over his eyes, but has eyes that work, despite the fact that he was blinded by Xue Yang who also killed his entire temple. He explains that Xiao Xingchen said that he was taking Song Lan to his master Baoshan Sanren, the immortal who can cure anything, and doesn’t remember anything else.

Wei Wuxian takes Jiang Cheng to Baoshan Sanren to get his core back. Psych! It’s a lie that he totally made up to explain the fact that he’s actually getting his own core transplanted into Jiang Cheng in a highly experimental procedure. Importantly, Wei Wuxian does not tell Jiang Cheng this.

Post-surgery, rather battered Wei Wuxian gets caught by Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao, who torture him and then throw him into a place called the Burial Mounds, which is more or less what it sounds like, is Very Cursed, and from which no one has emerged alive. Then this happens:

(I want you to appreciate how hard I’ve tried to not put any screencaps in here. but I had to do this one. I just had to.)

and you go oh shit and also well that’s sexy.

Jiang Cheng, delighted to have his core back, descends the mountain only to find that Wei Wuxian is...not there.

Cool! That seems fine.

Sunshot Campaign Arc

Timeskip to three months later! The rest of the sects have allied together to take down the Wen Sect (this is what ‘Sunshot Campaign’ refers to, because the symbol of the Wens is a sun). Things aren’t looking good for the Wens, including Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao. Wang Lingjiao hallucinates to the sound of a flute and ends up killing herself. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have teamed up to look for Wei Wuxian. On their way, they start finding piles of Wen bodies killed in a mysterious and grotesque manner involving an unfamiliar method of cultivation.

(Side note: around now is where Jiang Cheng frees Wen Qing from where she was imprisoned by the Wens for being a dirty traitor during the war and gives her the comb of pining he bought way back in the Cloud Recesses arc, telling her that he will help her if she asks. This isn’t...exactly important, except I wanted to note it.)

Eventually, they find a house where Wen Chao has holed up with Wen Zhuliu, and watch as it’s revealed that he has gone through some nasty shit, is terrified and traumatized and badly injured. Ominous signs: begin to happen! Flames going out: happen! Shots of someone climbing slowly and menacingly up stairs: happen! 

Yeah, it’s Wei Wuxian. New and improved, darker and meaner and very sexy about it, and with a new sick-ass flute. He starts attacking Wen Chao, and when Wen Zhuliu moves to attack Wei Wuxian Jiang Cheng jumps down and hangs Wen Zhuliu with Zidian. Lan Wangji confronts Wei Wuxian about this darker and meaner version and Wei Wuxian breaks up with him; Lan Wangji leaves Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to kill Wen Chao because the family that murders together stays together!

(They won’t, but.)

The war goes on, but the tides have turned, and the Wens are losing. Both of Wen Ruohan’s sons are dead. Soup drama happens here, which I don’t need to explain fully but it is clear that Wei Wuxian is extremely emotionally unstable, and also will no longer carry his sword despite everyone telling him he needs to carry his sword. All is not well with the Wei Wuxian! But nobody knows why. Lan Wangji’s repeated “LET ME FIX YOU” overtures are not well received. Lan Wangji also has a nice conversation about how the Lan rules did not prepare him for moral complexity.

Eventually Nie Mingjue proposes going to attack Wen Ruohan on his own while the others move on the Wen stronghold at Nightless City (at this point, they have received a map of Wen defenses from a ~mysterious spy~). Nie Mingjue is captured, and it is revealed that Meng Yao decided that after getting kicked out of Qinghe he could find a better boss somewhere else. Outside, an undead army shows up to kick everyone else’s ass. Things don’t look good for our heroes!

Wei Wuxian brings out his secret weapon the Yin Tiger Seal and...takes over the undead army. This is very troubling to everyone involved, but it does bring Wen Ruohan out to see what the deal is. Wei Wuxian delivers one of the sickest lines in the entire show:

(i’m restraining myself! trust me! i am!)

so yeah, that’s a normal and reassuring thing to say.

And then Meng Yao stabs Wen Ruohan in the back. And that’s it for Wen Ruohan! Our major antagonist is dead! Surely everything will be fine now.

Well We Won the War, Now What Arc

[cracks knuckles] and here’s where the politics starts.

Ready and totally psyched to step into the power vacuum left by the fall of the Wens is Jin Guangshan! Leader of the Jin Sect, least impacted by the war by vitue of joining up late. He recognizes Meng Yao as his son now that he’s, like, someone that is valuable to him politically, and Meng Yao gets a commensurate name change > Jin Guangyao. Pretty much immediately Jin Guangshan starts manuevering to consolidate power - pushing to marry Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, pushing to get access to Wei Wuxian’s Yin Tiger Seal, subtly undermining everyone else...the works.

Jin Guangshan is the worst, is what I’m saying here.

Meanwhile, Nie Mingjue is very unhappy about the whole “Meng Yao helping the Wens and fucking with him when he’s captured” thing, but then Lan Xichen (remember, Lan Wangji’s older brother) steps in and reveals that Jin Guangyao was a spy delivering information, actually, and also saved his life when he was on the run from the Wens, so don’t hurt him please. Nie Mingjue is still very suspicious, but he backs off. Subsequently, after agreeing to place the Wen (civilian) captives in a holding camp, Jin Guangyao has them killed (impliedly at the order of his father).

We are given cues that Jin Guangyao is bad news. Like, heavy cues. If you are me this makes you love him.

This is also where Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangyao become sworn brothers, which is a big deal.

Meanwhile, back in Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian is...not doing so hot! He’s drinking heavily, shirking his responsibilities in a way that is making Jiang Cheng particularly very upset with him, generally being weird and traumatized but nobody knows how to deal with that, or him. Then Jin Zixuan arrives to invite everyone to a special hunt being hosted by his father including Jiang Yanli because he, he means his mom, really wants her to be there.

The hunt goes great! By that I mean Jin Zixuan is a spectacular failure at expressing his feelings to Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian almost starts a fight with Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan’s enormous asshole cousin gets nasty until Jiang Yanli makes him apologize, in a seriously badass moment. The whole thing comes off with Wei Wuxian really not looking good, including his decision to ditch the celebratory banquet. But also Jiang Yanli getting a liiiiittle closer to something she wants (i.e. Jin Zixuan). Jiang Cheng is like “dude what the fuck” at Wei Wuxian and gets zero percent explanation. Meanwhile everyone in the vicinity pokes at his massive insecurities, because the cultivation world’s favorite activity is actually gossip.

Things only get worse at the very bad after party. This is where we meet Su She again, who has gone and founded his own sect! Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji are sort of bitchy about it. But the real issue comes when Zixun peer pressures Lan Xichen into drinking despite the fact that it’s pretty solidly against the rules of the Lan Sect. Lan Xichen does it with a very “fuck you” smile, despite Jin Guangyao’s attempts to forestall the situation.

(I feel like I have not expressed the relationship between Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen? It’s a whole thing. Let’s just say that it’s a fairly popular ship for a reason.)

Lan Wangji, however, is not as diplomatic as his brother.

And then Wei Wuxian arrives! To ruin another party. Because he found Wen Qing wandering around in the streets and turns out that Wen Ning was taken prisoner by Jin Zixun and friends and removed to whereabouts unknown. Wei Wuxian proceeds to give the sexiest countdown ever to annihilating Jin Zixun if he doesn’t tell him where Wen Ning is.

Wen Ning, unfortunately, is in a pile of bodies. Because the Jin have been...well, experimenting on Wen prisoners, basically. Wen Ning is...not dead in this universe because censorship, but everything makes more sense if you just say “he’s basically dead and Wei Wuxian resurrects him to fuck up everyone in the vicinity who was responsible for his death, which is...everyone other than the other Wens. Eventually Wei Wuxian stops him by yelling his second (courtesy) name that no one else has used for him in speech up to this point (Wen Qionglin), because love is stored in the name. Wei Wuxian gathers up the survivors and takes off only to run into Lan Wangji standing in his way.

They have a point of no return moment. Wei Wuxian basically says “let me go or you have to kill me” only it’s better than that because what he actually says is like “if I’m going to be killed I should be killed by you, then I would know it was right” and it’s a whole fucking thing and anyway Lan Wangji steps aside and lets them all go and it is quite literally “I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face” except he is also crying.

So...fuck.

Burial Mounds Arc

Wei Wuxian takes the Wens to the one place nobody’s probably going to follow them: namely, the Burial Mounds. Home sweet home!

Outside in the main world, rumors are flying about the army Wei Wuxian is building and the sect he’s planning to found and how ambitious he is and how he’s disrespecting Jiang Cheng and actually Jiang Cheng he probably never loved you anyway and is better and stronger and what are you good for, but I’m saying this out of concern and to be helpful (paraphrased from Jin Guangshan).

Accordingly, Jiang Cheng agrees to go and check things out and see what’s going on in Chez Burial Mounds. What is going on is basically a bunch of civilians eking out a very depressing living. There is also a child, a-Yuan, who is adorable. This will also be important later.

(are you keeping track of all this?)

Jiang Cheng also goes to see Wen Ning, who is...recovering from being dead/undead and Wei Wuxian is working on fixing him. Jiang Cheng says he has to die, and Wei Wuxian has to come home, and things are really bad, man, so stop worrying about these losers and avoid the entire cultivation world being really pissed with you, maybe?

Wei Wuxian isn’t going for it, and tells Jiang Cheng to cut him out of Jiang Sect in order to protect Jiang Sect’s reputation. It’s upsetting. They stage a very dramatic duel and Jiang Cheng announces that friendship ended with Wei Wuxian, he has no new friend actually.

This is also where Wen Qing significantly returns the comb of pining that Jiang Cheng gave her way back (remember that?) and is like. so you wouldn’t’ve helped me and Wen Ning actually, would you. And that is the end of Chengqing as a sidebar ship that never really sailed. Well done, you two.

Meanwhile, Jin Zixuan gets his shit together and proposes to Jiang Yanli by way of making her a lotus pond at Jinlintai. So that’s nice!

A bit later Lan Wangji comes to visit! Only it’s totally coincidental, he was just passing through, that’s all. He and Wei Wuxian hang out for a little while, pretending things are sort of normal, but they have to rush back to the Burial Mounds because the Wen Ning is out. They manage to get him under control and awaken him to proper consciousness again, though! Great! Things are looking up. :)

Lan Wangji does not stay for dinner, though. :(

In my notes I have written “meanwhile...political shitshow” and that is basically a summation of what’s up in places that aren’t the Burial Mounds. Specifically, Jin Guangshan, who seems to have deputized Jin Guangyao to do his dirty work generally, is making noises about how something needs to be done about that Wei Wuxian, and what about that Yin Tiger Seal anyway, doesn’t it seem Yin Iron-like, shouldn’t something like that not be in the hands of a random person? Probably it should be in someone else’s hands instead. Someone responsible with no ulterior motives. You know.

Also in here...somewhere, Mianmian tries to stand up for Wei Wuxian being maybe right about some things, gets shouted down, and decides to leave the Jin Sect entirely. Like...just walks out. Several people look at her like ‘you can do that?’, Lan Wangji is jealous, it is a total boss move. Mianmian hasn’t been a major character but this is important enough and cool enough that I had to mention it.

Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng come to Yiling (by the Burial Mounds) for a very secret rendezvous where Wei Wuxian gets to see Jiang Yanli’s beautiful wedding dress and eat some of her famous soup and it is very sweet and nice and Jiang Cheng is like “so do you have a plan for if everyone attacks you” and Wei Wuxian is like “absolutely. I will kill everyone is my plan.”

also possibly Jiang Yanli is already pregnant at this point??? she and Jiang Cheng are certainly exchanging a lot of conspiratorial smiles when she tells Wei Wuxian to give her future son a courtesy name.

She is for sure pregnant later, because there is a baby named Jin Ling who shows up! (Remember that name? No? He was the bratty teenager from episode 2.)  Jin Guangshan does not allow Jin Guangyao to hold the baby, for which he deserves what he gets. For Jin Ling’s 100 day/three month (again! timelines, fuck em) celebration, Jiang Cheng, Jin Zixuan, and Lan Wangji tag team to get Wei Wuxian invited, where he will come and it will be nice and everyone will discuss this Yin Tiger Seal issue like civilized people.

An invitation is sent for Wei Wuxian to come to the celebration! Wonderful! This is in no way going to go horribly wrong.

Oh Shit, Things Went Downhill Fast (Take Two) Arc

It goes horribly wrong.

On the way to Jinlintai to greet his new baby nephew, accompanied by Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian is confronted by - surprise! - Jin Zixun, accusing Wei Wuxian of putting a curse on him. Wei Wuxian denies it, naturally, since he didn’t. Jin Zixun decides the best way to deal with this situation is to kill Wei Wuxian, which will definitely break the curse that Wei Wuxian definitely cast on him.

He attacks, and Wen Ning goes Ghost General on everyone’s ass, and Wei Wuxian brings out his flute. Things are looking pretty hairy when Jin Zixuan shows up to call off the fight, trying to get Wei Wuxian to back down; he does not back down, because that would just mean getting shot full of arrows.

Wen Ning, who seems to have completely lost his mind, fists Jin Zixuan. Through the chest. This does, in fact, kill him.

His dying words are to say that Jiang Yanli is still waiting for Wei Wuxian to show up, just to make everything worse. Wen Ning kills Jin Zixun as well. This is not actually what Wei Wuxian wanted to happen.

Back at the Burial Mounds! In the wake of Jin Zixuan’s death, an ultimatum has been issued to give up the Wen siblings or else. This is pretty clearly (in my opinion) a pretext that doesn’t mean anything, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning have already decided to sacrifice themselves. Maybe they’re hoping it’ll work? Or at least that it’ll give Wei Wuxian some time? Wen Qing knocks Wei Wuxian out so he can’t stop them. The whole thing is really fucking heartbreaking.

Wei Wuxian comes around and goes to Jinlintai, where he sees Jiang Yanli, who is mourning her dead husband who got killed by her baby brother! Cool! She sees Wei Wuxian but he runs before she can say anything, partly because guards have been sicced on him. He is pretty clearly having a mental breakdown, hallucinations and all!

Cut to a gathering of...pretty much everyone important and all their followers at Nightless City, for a combination commemorating the dead/affirming the deaths of Wen Ning and Wen Qing/gearing up to kill Wei Wuxian.

Who spares them the effort of coming to find him by showing up on the roof! He proceeds to sic dark magic on everyone there except, conspicuously, for the Jiang Sect. Lan Wangji arrives to defuse the situation and fails to defuse the situation until Wei Wuxian hears Jiang Yanli calling for him.

Because she’s arrived on an active battlefield! Not her best idea but it’s not like I can actually blame her considering the week she’s having.

Wei Wuxian goes to look for her, as does Jiang Cheng who also heard her, and...suddenly loses control of his dark magic. Cool! One of the...undead? people there wounds Jiang Yanli. Even better! Jiang Cheng pleads with Wei Wuxian to get things under control, which he can’t! They have a moment while a lot of people around them are dying but you know what, they deserve it.

because like literally a second later Jiang Yanli pushes Wei Wuxian out of the way of a sword meant to stab him in the back and instead takes it herself. And dies.

So. Yeah.

Wei Wuxian loses the last threads of his sanity and destroys the Yin Tiger Seal. While everybody is fighting over it, he goes over to the edge of a cliff, and now we’re back here where we started! With Lan Wangji clinging to Wei Wuxian’s hand as he dangles over the edge of a cliff and tells him to let go.

Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation, by which I mean “he tells Wei Wuxian to go die and stabs down.” He only hits rock; Wei Wuxian breaks himself loose of Lan Wangji’s grip and falls. You are left on the image of Lan Wangji’s absolutely devastated face.

nice! great. well, that brings us up to speed for the flashforward to the future, where you have probably completely forgotten what happened in the first two episodes.

For instance: remember how we saw Wen Ning despite the fact that he’s supposed to be ashes? Yeah.

And We’re Back in the Present Now Arc (Good Times in Qinghe Arc)

For some reason this is the part of the show where I remember the least and it all kind of blurs together with the exception of one scene? so I had to go look at Wikipedia episode summaries to make sure I was putting things in the right order.

Back in the present at the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji discover that the very angry sword spirit last seen killing people at Mo Manor (remember that?) is pointing them in the direction of Qinghe (the Nie Sect territory). They leave to go there and run into Jin Ling, who semi-accidentally terrorizes Wei Wuxian by way of dog. 

By asking around, they also learn that there are rumors of a man-eating fortress in the woods, and that it hasn’t been dealt with because the leader of the Nie Sect is absolutely useless. The leader of the Nie Sect who is now - hey, been a while! - Nie Huaisang, since his older brother disappeared under mysterious circumstances after losing his mind years ago.

The dynamic duo go off to investigate the man-eating fortress, naturally, and what they find is a tomb full of swords and a wall full of skeletons, and also Jin Ling. 

They remove Jin Ling from the wall, Lan Wangji goes chasing a mysterious attacker, and Wei Wuxian takes Jin Ling to safety only to end up running into - oh boy! - Jiang Cheng. 

They have a calm talk about their feelings and address their dysfunction in a reasonable manner. 

Nope! Jiang Cheng corners Wei Wuxian with Jin Ling’s dog, throws a cup of tea at a wall, and yells at Wei Wuxian about how he both didn’t come home right away and also how he should die ten million times (no, like, actually). Fortunately, Jin Ling arrives, lies out his ass about how he saw Wen Ning to get Jiang Cheng to leave, and lets Wei Wuxian go. 

Back to that mysterious figure Lan Wangji went running after! Turns out it was none other than Nie Huaisang, who confesses - reluctantly - that the man-eating fortress belongs to his family and is a safe home for bloodthirsty swords after their owners die, which is a normal thing to get as a family heirloom. This is also where it becomes increasingly clear that (a) the sword spirit is Baxia, Nie Mingjue’s sword, and (b) Nie Mingjue is most likely hella dead, specifically murdered. 

With this new information, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian move on, tracking the directions of the angry sword spirit. They overhear some very depressing story about Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and Xue Yang, specifically how things turned out horribly for them (though without details), which drives Lan Wangji to drink.

Lan Wangji cannot hold his liquor, at all. Wei Wuxian takes his unconsciousness as an opportunity to flute Wen Ning to him again, and removes a massive metal needle from his skull, which fixes the whole “unconscious zombie” issue. Unfortunately, Wen Ning remembers nothing about what happened to him between going to Jinlintai with Wen Qing and when he heard Wei Wuxian calling by way of flute.

And now we have Drunkji, who is the most adorable, hilarious thing ever. He gives Wei Wuxian chickens, with utmost sincerity. They are wedding chickens. It is very important that Wei Wuxian have these chickens.

This interlude is not important to the plot but it is hilarious. There is also a not hilarious interlude of Lan Wangji being very sad about how he didn’t help Wei Wuxian before, and also admitting that he likes rabbits. Again: not plot important. It is adorable. 

Wei Wuxian herds Drunkji back to the inn, where a mysterious masked man attempts to steal the pouch holding the angry sword spirit, but is driven off and teleports away. Remember this guy! He’s important.

The next morning, they set off and hit the road for a place called Yi City, which if you’ve spent any time on this blog you know is deeply important in my heart if not, like, in terms of show space.

Yi City Arc Yi City Arc Yi City Arc

yes this is three episodes but this is my summary post so I get to give it its own section if I want to.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji arrive at Yi City, which is empty, and very spooky. They run into the pack of juniors (Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, sassmaster Lan Jingyi and consummate romantic Ouyang Zizhen are the named ones), and shortly thereafter into a whole bunch of undead. They also run into a ghost (???) girl who is blind and has no tongue. They also also run into Xiao Xingchen, severely wounded.

Psych! It’s Xue Yang in disguise and he has an undead Song Lan under his control. what a fun twist this is! and he wants one thing specifically: for Wei Wuxian to help him bring someone back to life. Problem is that their soul is in need of some serious super glue and super glue doesn’t work on souls.

Xue Yang informs Wei Wuxian that his consent is optional and he will be participating in Xue Yang’s necromancy experiment fantasies whether he likes it or not. Lan Wangji objects strenuously to this idea. While Lan Wangji is fighting Xue Yang and Wen Ning is fighting Song Lan (corpse fight! corpse fight!) Wei Wuxian herds the juniors into a safe courtyard where the corpses won’t go, led by the aforementioned ghost girl, who shows them a coffin.

the coffin has Xiao Xingchen in it. The actual real one. There’s a bandage over his eyes, because he doesn’t have any.

Wei Wuxian goes into the ghost girl’s memories in order to find out what happened using a technique called Empathy, and the next chunk of things I’m just going to tell in full chronologically even though there’s a break where you don’t see all of it until an episode later.

The ghost girl, a-Qing, is a con artist who pretends to be blind; she runs into Xiao Xingchen (who is actually blind) when she steals his money, and he just gives it to her after stopping someone else whose money she stole from beating him up. A-Qing decides they’re friends now. They’ve been traveling together for...some amount of time when they stumble on a badly injured man on the side of the road. Xiao Xingchen picks him up and takes him home with him (to an abandoned coffin house in Yi City). You get one guess who he’s rescued and who is totally psyched to discover that his life has been saved by Xiao Xingchen, who doesn’t know who he is, because he’s blind.

So you know, everything is coming up Xue Yang.

What follows is three years of domestic bliss, including hits like “entire villages dying by Xiao Xingchen under sort of suspicious circumstances” and “threatening grocers.” And then who should show up but Song Lan! Looking for Xiao Xingchen and he’s so happy to have finally found him.

Only he notices Xue Yang first.

A fight ensues, in which Xue Yang...sort of talks Song Lan to death by digging into the fact that Xiao Xingchen is blind because he gave his eyes to Song Lan, actually, and Song Lan hurt him so bad when they broke up, and because Xiao Xingchen is blind Xue Yang has been able to trick him into killing living people when he thinks he’s killing undead ones, and oooh do you feel bad now, well, guess what, you’re gonna feel worse when I poison you into becoming undead and cut out your tongue. :D

And even worse when this means that Xiao Xingchen stabs him because, you know, undead monster.

Cool! Things are going great.

Or they would be only a-Qing saw everything, reveals it to Xiao Xingchen, who puts it together and greets XueYang coming back from grocery shopping with a sword (rude). They break up, and by “break up” I mean “Xue Yang reveals his tragic backstory, Xiao Xingchen is not convinced that his tragic backstory means all the murder was justified, Xue Yang decides it’s time to make this all go nuclear.” So tells Xiao Xingchen about how he’s been killing people actually! And guess what, bonus, one of those people was your BFF/life partner/whatever, Song Lan. isn’t that amazing, Xiao Xingchen, isn’t that so cool--

Xiao Xingchen kills himself and this is, it turns out, Not What Xue Yang Wanted. So guess who’s in the pouch Xue Yang was hoping to resurrect? Yeah.

Back in the present, with help from a-Qing directing Lan Wangji, Xue Yang gets...hella stabbed, but not before he kills a-Qing. Song Lan, freed from Xue Yang’s control, kills Xue Yang.

Oh yeah, and then we see Xiao Xingchen tenderly laying pieces of candy on a bed, which is symbolically important, and also Xue Yang dies looking at the last piece of candy Xiao Xingchen gave him, and now I’m going to cry. anyway Yi City Arc, you’re welcome. Where the only person who survives did not, in fact, survive!

Oh, yeah, I guess it’s also important that there’s a headless body buried here and it gets...pretty conclusively identified as Nie Mingjue because the sword spirit (remember that?) takes the shape of his very distinctive large sword (Baxia). Also Xue Yang recreated the Yin Tiger Seal but it gets snatched away by the masked man from earlier. There’s also a bunch of stuff about the Yin Iron plot but you can ignore it, it doesn’t actually really matter that much.

Honestly at that point I was crying too much to pay a whole lot of attention to the whole point of them being in Yi City to begin with. So sue me.

The Plot Thickens, and Secrets Are Revealed Arc

Exeunt Yi City, rendezvous with Lan Xichen to discuss, obliquely, who could be responsible for Nie Mingjue’s death. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji delicately imply that maybe it was Jin Guangyao; Lan Xichen is unconvinced and informs us that there are no curse marks indicating that he’d teleported on Jin Guangyao’s body, he would know, and also they’ve been together every night so he wouldn’t have time to get up to shenanigans anyway.

Hm.

Still, they go ahead together to ruin another party/investigate at Jinlintai, with Wei Wuxian safely in disguise (barely), unfortunately as Mo Xuanyu, who is not exactly welcome in the Jin Sect because he got kicked out of it earlier. Mo Xuanyu is a whole...thing that I’m not really going into here because the show doesn’t really get into it either.

Wei Wuxian ducks out to investigate, and in the form of an animated paper man, to the tune of music we have never heard before in this show and will never hear again (look, it’s just weird to me), goes sneaking into Jin Guangyao’s rooms to do some poking around. His investigations are interrupted when Jin Guangyao’s wife Qin Su, in a state of severe distress, returns, followed shortly by Jin Guangyao. They argue about an unknown revelation in a letter Qin Su received that has resulted in her being disgusted by...something, we don’t know what, and angry with Jin Guangyao. She accuses him of killing their kid.

Eventually he paralyzes her and removes her to a secret room through a mirror, which is a thing everyone has, especially one with a bunch of torture instruments and a body sized table with dried blood on it. Normal!

Remember how the body in Yi City was headless? Yeah, we found the head now.

And it’s time for another Empathy flashback! 

Empathy Flashback feat. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao’s Bad Relationship Mini Arc

This time with Nie Mingjue (and Jin Guangyao). We see Jin Guangyao very quickly elevated from a servant who is spat upon by the other Nie cultivators to Nie Mingjue’s right hand man, like, literally in two seconds. Flash forward to episode 10 - remember that? - where Jin Guangyao has just been caught in a compromising murder position. Nie Mingjue accuses Jin Guangyao plotting all along and is a conniving little snake who was in league with Xue Yang (which is a thing that does not make sense, actually), and kicks him out.

We next see Nie Mingjue in Nightless City, having been captured and currently being taunted by a very sexy Meng Yao, who kills some other Nie cultivators and threatens to fuck up Nie Mingjue by shattering his sword (which would be catastrophic and is, we are informed, how Nie Mingjue’s dad died). Nie Mingjue is understandably rather displeased by this to the point of probable murder, though Lan Xichen reminds him (as he did in the previous scene) that Meng Yao was acting as a spy and Meng Yao argues that he needed to play his part.

The relationship between the two of them continues to deteriorate as Nie Mingjue becomes more unstable (something that just happens to the Nies by virtue of their cultivation style). That deterioration is being delayed by healing music from Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen teaches Jin Guangyao the healing music. Jin Guangyao seems to be possibly doing something not healing with the healing music.

This all escalates into a confrontation at the top of the stairs of Jinlintai, where Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao argue about class politics and justifiable violence (no, really) until Nie Mingjue explodes and kicks Jin Guangyao down the stairs. 

And then proceeds to, as Jin Guangyao looks on, have a qi deviation, which is...well, let’s just call it both a physical and a mental breakdown. Nie Huaisang arrives to see this happening, and while we saw this before and it looked like Nie Mingjue was threatening Nie Huaisang because he didn’t recognize him, this time it is more apparent that he’s directing it at Jin Guangyao.

Next we see, Nie Mingjue is chained to that body sized table in the secret room. Xue Yang is there, and uses Nie Mingjue’s sword to behead Nie Mingjue. He’s psyched as hell about it. If you’re me this is adorable.

And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming Arc

Flashback ends! And we are back in Jinlintai. Wei Wuxian goes to get Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen to storm Jin Guangyao’s bedroom, to which Su She objects, but Jin Guangyao eventually allows. They all file together into the secret room and look around, but there is no longer any severed head where Wei Wuxian left it. Whoops. 

Then Qin Su kills herself, Jiang Cheng arrives to defuse the situation while Jin Guangyao pleads innocent, and Wei Wuxian, by way of drawing his sword that nobody else could draw before now, reveals that he is, in fact, Wei Wuxian. Everyone in this room actually already knew this information except for Jin Ling, who is not thrilled to discover that his cool uncle is the guy who murdered his parents. Nobody else does a very good job of faking surprise.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian make a run for it only to be cornered on the stairs. Extreme romance ensues where Lan Wangji announces his intent to stand by Wei Wuxian forever against the world. 

This is where the “I was like, SCREAMS” meme kicks in.

Anyway, after that love confession (look, they can’t say ‘I love you’ but basically) in front of everyone, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian fight their way out together and are well on the way to freedom when Jin Ling stabs Wei Wuxian. 

Nobody is happy about this, including Jin Ling.

Wei Wuxian is okay overall, though he does faint and have to get swept off to the Cloud Recesses and undressed and redressed in Lan Wangji’s underwear. Don’t worry about it. And now it’s time to talk to Lan Xichen, who is currently feeling very “what the hell is going on, you have no proof and are accusing a person I trust completely of something horrible without any proof.” 

They still don’t have any proof, but Wei Wuxian reveals that in the flashback he heard Jin Guangyao playing the soothing music but different, and it comes out that there is evil Japanese music that can kill people and be used to poison someone slowly over time. It’s literally this post:

Lan Xichen is not entirely convinced but agrees to investigate; Jin Guangyao comes to Cloud Recesses and has an absolutely heartbreaking conversation with Lan Xichen about how is our friendship over, Zewu--jun :( while Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji eavesdrop.

That conversation isn’t plot important either, I just personally find it very upsetting.

The Burial Mounds, Take Two Arc

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji leave the Cloud Recesses, heading toward the Burial Mounds because Jin Guangyao mentioned something being up there. But they end up meeting - surprise! - Mianmian, who is living her best life. This is mostly important because she is literally the only female character who makes it out of this show alive. 

She mentions that there’s been some trouble around the Burial Mounds, so they head in that direction, running into Wen Ning along the way, who has been following them around because he loves Wei Wuxian. The Burial Mounds are indeed full of active undead and they fight their way up to the old farming commune location, which is less empty than expected because there are a bunch of kids tied up in Wei Wuxian’s old lair/cave/house. Like, all of them. Including Jin Ling, who really is having a terrible time lately, and I just feel the need to note that sometimes.

As they free the children and start to leave, everyone else arrives with the plan of killing Wei Wuxian again, because once wasn’t enough and obviously he’s Up To No Good, where else would these corpses be coming from, huh? 

Speaking of corpses. 

A small army of them shows up! All the cultivators who aren’t children lose their powers! Everyone has to retreat back into the lair/cave/house where they’ll be safe! So this is all...going well.

Fortunately, everyone being stuck in one place gives Wei Wuxian the opportunity to get his Hercule Poirot on and walk everyone through a series of deductions to get them to a place of realizing that (a) they were poisoned by evil music, (b) the evil music came from Su She, (c) Su She is working for Jin Guangyao who (d) planned all of this whole ‘everyone is going to the Burial Mounds to get killed’ thing.

Su She panics, inadvertently reveals that he alone still has his powers, and teleports out. Wei Wuxian decides that a reasonable solution to all these problems is to make himself bait for all the undead so everyone else can make a run for it, because Wei Wuxian is kind of like that. 

It’s okay, though, he and Lan Wangji make a spectacular battle couple.

(Oh, yeah. Throughout here it is becoming increasingly clear that Lan Sizhui’s identity is Significant and actually we Might Have Seen Him Before.)

Back to Lotus Pier Arc, or Jin Ling Has a Very Bad Day, Continued Arc

Safely out of the Burial Mounds thanks to Wei Wuxian, everybody goes ahead and invites themselves back to Jiang Cheng’s house. To be fair, it is closest. 

My notes here say “Wen Ning figures out that Lan Sizhui is a-Yuan, Jin Ling has an emotional breakdown” which is a more or less accurate summation of the situation. Honestly, though, I feel so bad for Jin Ling at this point, he’s had an absolute nightmare of a month and then today happened and like. I feel for him.

But Wen Ning reuniting with the last remaining member of his family! Though he doesn’t...actally tell Lan Sizhui this, and Lan Sizhui doesn’t have any memories of his early years. 

Jiang Cheng reluctantly allows Wei Wuxian inside. Wen Ning has to stay on the porch, but Lan Sizhui stays with him to keep him company, because he is a good boy.

This next part...hoo boy. It’s a lot of exposition featuring two ladies who appear to relate their stories about Jin Guangyao, featuring the part where he murdered his father by using a bunch of sex workers (who then were murdered in turn, except for one), also involving necrophilia, and the one where Qin Su was Jin Guangyao’s sister, actually, and he knew it and still married her. Sect Leader Bad Takes says that’s probably why Jin Guangyao killed their kid, because children of incest inevitably have developmental problems? Yeah, sure, buddy.

Anyway, everyone starts shouting for Jin Guangyao’s head, which is very familiar to Wei Wuxian, who leaves in some disgust. While wandering with Lan Wangji, they wind up going to the family shrine (which is, to be clear, a pretty sacred place). Which is where Jiang Cheng finds them! And once again they have a reasonable and emotionally steady conversation.

Nope. Jiang Cheng talks shit trying to provoke a fight that Wei Wuxian won’t have. As he and Lan Wangji attempt to leave, Jiang Cheng pursues because he’s not done yelling dammit, lashing out with Zidian. Wei Wuxian faints, and Wen Ning arrives to stand in between him and Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng, holding Wei Wuxian’s sheathed sword (remember, the one nobody other than Wei Wuxian can draw). Wen Ning proceeds to initiate one of the single best devastating beatdowns of the show without laying a hand on Jiang Cheng, specifically by shoving the sword at Jiang Cheng and telling him to draw it, because hey you can do that now! Wonder why that is? Wouldn’t you like to know what’s going on there, Jiang Wanyin?

Remember way back when Jiang Cheng lost his core and got it back because Wei Wuxian gave him his core? Yeah, this is when he finds out about that. Psych! Your brother loves you and also the only reason you got to be as strong as you are is because he sacrificed himself for you! Which is also the reason why he took up demonic cultivation in the first place! 

Seriously, it’s so good, I love this scene. Probably one of my favorites in the whole show.

Jiang Cheng runs away; Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian have a moment on a lake where Lan Wangji indulges Wei Wuxian by eating stolen lotuses with him. It’s sweeter than it sounds when I put it like that.

Guanyin Temple Arc

oh god, how do I. how do I describe Guanyin Temple. partially this is hard because by virtue of censorship about dead bodies, among probably other things, there are huge gaps that make portions of it make no sense so I’m gonna go ahead and...fill in some of those that are intelligible pretty much only with some knowledge of book plot, imo.

Wen Ning, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to a place called Yunping because Jin Guangyao bought some land there for some reason. There they find a slightly suspicious temple (Guanyin Temple). They come back at night, leaving Wen Ning to stand guard, and spy on the courtyard, where a bunch of conspicuously armed monks are there, along with Lan Xichen aaaaand...Jin Guangyao. 

Jin Ling arrives! And decides it’s a good idea to climb over the wall. Wei Wuxian blocks someone from shooting him by using the bamboo flute he’s been using this whole time, so he now functionally has no weapon, and also he and Lan Wangji have been exposed, so now the two of them and also Jin Ling are in the courtyard. Lan Xichen admits he was tricked and doesn’t have any of his powers. Jin Guangyao threatens Lan Wangji into sealing his by threatening Wei Wuxian with a wire. It’s sexy.

Everybody goes inside the temple, where several monks are digging up something ??? under the floor. This is never explained and that is because it is supposed to be Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body, and there are very strict rules I understand about what can be done with dead bodies in dramas like this one. Anyway, Jin Guangyao loved his mom very much and built a temple where she was buried where the statue has her face. He is exhuming her so he can take her body with him when he flees the country, which is what he was planning here. Of course, now he has a bunch of unwanted hostages (and one wanted hostage), which was not actually part of the plan.

The next person to join the party is an unconscious Nie Huaisang, brought in by Su She, who basically says “I have no idea what he was doing here but...here he is” and Jin Guangyao is like. Well, guess he’s here now. 

Next to show up is Jiang Cheng! Making an excellent and extremely dramatic entrance. Unfortunately, he still gets injured and taken down as Jin Guangyao starts poking at his very obvious emotional weak spots, including revealing that Jiang Cheng knows about the golden core thing. Wei Wuxian, who did not know that secret came out because he was unconscious at the time, goes “wait, what?” and thus ensues the epic emotional catharsis crying and yelling conversation I was waiting for for 47 episodes. Seriously, it’s really good. They end up in a place where all is not solved but things are...maybe a little better? 

Of course, they’re still hostages. 

Meanwhile, back at the dig site, something gets unearthed that is not Jin Guangyao’s mother’s body but is in fact a coffin with Nie Mingjue’s body, now complete with head, in it. The reveal also drops here that Su She has the marks that indicate he cast the curse on Jin Zixun that Jin Zixun accused Wei Wuxian of casting.

A very ugly argument ensues where everyone is poking at everyone else’s things that they’re sensitive about, until finally Lan Xichen recovers his powers and turns the tables on Jin Guangyao by putting a sword to his neck. 

The next part is basically...explaining how all the bad things that happened were Jin Guangyao’s fault? Or at least that’s the explanation given. I find it personally very frustrating as a narrative choice and sort of unnecessary, but maybe that’s just me. Anyway, Jin Guangyao is pleading for mercy from Lan Xichen, saying he’ll leave and never return, the whole thing is very emotional. 

We also find out that Jin Guangshan kicked Jin Guangyao down the stairs. People really need to stop doing that.

And now Wen Ning arrives! Punting Lan Sizhui in ahead of him. He is possessed by a very angry sword spirit (namely, Baxia). Lan Wangji cuts off Jin Guangyao’s right arm, because Lan Wangji likes doing that, apparently. Baxia-possessed Wen Ning then targets Jin Ling because Jin Ling has Jin Guangyao’s blood on him - only for Wen Ning to stop the blade with his bare hand and save Jin Ling’s life, because Wen Ning is both a badass and very good. 

Jiang Cheng throws Wei Wuxian his old flute, which he apparently has just been keeping under his bed or something for sixteen years, which is a thing that I will always never be over, and Wei Wuxian flutes the very angry sword into the Nie Mingjue-holding coffin.

Which would be fine, only then Nie Huaisang starts yelling about how Su She totally stabbed him, no, really, look, he’s bleeding. Baxia kills Su She. Then Wei Wuxian manages to put the sword back in the coffin, as well as the Yin Tiger Seal, and locks both away.

Whew.

Everybody’s sitting down and recovering a little as Lan Xichen tends Jin Guangyao’s wounds. He turns around to get medicine from Nie Huaisang, who tells him to look out because Jin Guangyao is attacking you!!! 

Lan Xichen runs Jin Guangyao through. 

Oh boy.

Jin Guangyao is a little impressed about Nie Huaisang having been plotting this all along. Because he was. He absolutely was. He’s absolutely been planning this for years. Everybody needs a hobby.

But it’s Lan Xichen who he really addresses here, telling him that he’d never hurt him. The actual line really hurts but I’m trying to not reproduce lines here, except I am going to say that he drags Lan Xichen - still with a sword through him! - deeper into the temple and says “stay and die with me” as the temple starts to collapse. Lan Xichen, who was about to strike and presumably push himself away, lowers his hand, and Jin Guangyao abruptly pushes him away and out of the collapsing building.

Romance!

(No, but seriously, it’s a lot.)

Thus ends Jin Guangyao. 

Outside in the courtyard, everyone’s taking a breather. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian stare longingly at each other across the room and say nothing. Jiang Cheng walks away and we learn that - surprise! - the reason Jiang Cheng was caught by the Wens way back when is because he was keeping the Wens from catching Wei Wuxian instead.

Everybody in this family in just a big circle of self sacrifice. In the words of Wen Qing:

(Who misses Wen Qing? I do!)

Anyway, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leave with each other, only to be caught on the road by Lan Sizhui and Wen Ning - Lan Sizhui, who has remembered that he was a-Yuan and finally someone tells Wei Wuxian this, and ahhhh, okay, I know what I said about limiting screencaps but I can’t not:

Now that’s what I call a hug!

They part ways again, Lan Sizhui leaving with Wen Ning for some family time and for Wen Ning to find his own way. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian...seem like they’re going in different directions, but then they’re at Cloud Recesses together, playing music, hanging out, vibing. They talk to Nie Huaisang, but don’t directly confront him about his scheming. Mostly just making sure he’s not, you know, gonna do anything else.

Then Wei Wuxian leaves to go on a roadtrip to find himself. People really do not like this, but I personally really do like this, especially because the last shots of the show are Wei Wuxian playing his and Lan Wangji’s theme song (the one that Lan Wangji wrote, remember, from the cave? It’s come up a lot, I just haven’t mentioned it here), and when he finishes Lan Wangji’s voice says “Wei Ying” and he turns around and just like. Smiles. It’s scrunchy and happy and perfect.

Like this:

aaaaaaand scene! fifty episodes later your life has been ruined and you will never be the same.

and the thing is that this is leaving out, like. a lot, and probably is biased because I focus on different things than another person would, &c &c, but at least it might be a starting point for...the entire plot.

and also congratulations if you made it this far, I am impressed. have a screenshot of wei wuxian as a reward, whose mental breakdown does make him look sexy

you’re welcome.

[wildborn-witch]

–blows the dust off this channel–

OK SO it has DEFINITELY been a hot minute since I was last in here, and I deeply apologize. School has been kicking my butt, and my focus has been getting through that hell as well another fandom AU I’ve been working, but I have been doing some thinking for TOH on the side! Now that fall semester is over, I think I can start to brain vomit again!

So just as a refresher, let’s take it from the top.

What is the Wildborn AU?

– Originally set to take place after Season 1, Wildborn follows the story of my kiddo Tristan as follows in the footsteps of the titular spirits, and his ancestors that followed them

– The Wildborn are animal spirits, beings of pure wild magic, coming into being when the Titan first fell

– Early witches prior to the evolution of bile sacs came to bond with these spirits, eventually able to harness magic through them, and even forming Merges–fusion of witch and spirit into a single entity.

– As of the show’s current timeline, the Wildborn are almost completely extinct, having been hunted by Belos during his rise to power, leaving Tristan the last living descendant.

With that out of the way, let’s take a look at what we’ve learned about in Season 2:

– Titan’s Blood.The most powerful form of magic in the Isles, capable of forming rifts between the Demon and human realms. It’s how Philip Wittebane got to the demon realm, and what is used to power the key that opens the portal door.

– Belos’ Curse. Supposedly inflicted upon him due to “wild magic”, causing him to turn into what I can only call an antlered mud monster. Bears some resemblance to a creature depicted in a mural fighting King’s father?

– Day of Unity. Building off of the above, Belos’ plan to eradicate wild magic entirely, by siphoning enough of the stolen magic from witches to unite the human and demon realms. In the context of Wildborn, this would have catastrophic consequences.

– Hunter/The Golden Guard. The Emperor’s right hand/nephew, a “bad yet sad boy”, a bit younger than I was anticipating this was before Dana’s AMA/the first reveals, mind you, and quite possibly a Grimwalker, but that last one’s a whole different can of worms. What I really find interesting is his desire to learn more about wild magic, partly out of a desire to aid his uncle, but there is this strong sense that he is a bird in a cage. I really want to explore some potential interactions between him and Tristan, though I may have to do some thinking on how to properly write that plot.

– Powerless witches. Hunter is one of these, and kinda seems like a trivial detail, but the fact that there is a history of them, plus the knowledge we have that many assumed Willow was one as well for a time, gives me some thoughts on how to potentially rewrite aspects of Tristan’s character. It would be a good method of foreshadowing/emphasizing his difference in that he can still cast magic, even though he technically shouldn’t be able to because he doesn’t have a bile sac. This is a rough thought, however, that’ll require some more brainstorming.

These are the main points that I’ve been musing on so far, and I’ll add more in here as they come up! Long story short, however…

I’m back (ish), so let’s get back to work.

[seven-oomen]

Breaking the cycle | How Teen Wolf portrays its traumatized fathers

First of, I would like to say that the following words are my take on this. I am a 29 year old trans man of Caucasian descend who is an domestic violence and abuse survivor. I am diagnosed with ADHD since 12 and diagnosed with CPTSD since this year. I understand trauma and I understand what it does to people. But I am not a professional. I am a fan.

Secondly, the characters I’ll be talking about today are specifically the fathers of some of the main characters in Teen Wolf. Namely Chris Argent, Peter Hale, and Noah Stilinski. 

I realize there are many more traumatized parents who would fit well in this essay and while I thought about including them, I decided that for now, these are the three characters I’m focusing on.

I would love to hear your thoughts about some of the other parents and how their traumatizing pasts might have contributed to the way they raised their children.

Sources are listed under the read more. The gifs I’m using are from Google.

I will be focusing on these characters, discuss what sort of trauma they have, how it affects them and how it affects the way they then raised their children. And why their stories are important for trauma and abuse survivors.

Let’s start with Noah Stilinski.

From Episode 3, Season 6 Sundowning we know the following about Noah’s homelife:

Elias was known for being both emotionally and physically abusive, and on at least one occasion, Noah stepped in to protect his mother from his abuse, causing his father to inadvertently throw him into a glass coffee table; his shoulder was scarred, and tiny fragments of glass remain under the now-healed wound even in the present day.

He even tells Scott: (While talking about a memory of him and Claudia in College.) “The kind of father I wish I had. The kind I... I hope to be."

In the same episode Noah also refers to the incident above as “That time.” Indicating that it wasn’t the first time this happened and it wasn’t the last either.

Piecing all the information together we can conclude that Noah was emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused by his father. We can also conclude that this abuse extended to his mother. Meaning he was also a victim of domestic violence.

There is also evidence in the episode that Elias might have abused Stiles, or at the very least has a very negative opinion of his grandson.  “ That's right! Act like I'm not even here! Go crawling back to your dead wife and loser son!”

This scarred Noah, both physically and mentally. We see evidence of this in episodes where he reacts violently and explosively any time his son is hurt. He immediately blows up and threatens physical violence against the people who hurt his son. 

A part of that is parental protection, but imagine that someone beat the living crap out of you and those you love every day of your life. Once you’re free of that person it leaves a mark and a smoldering fear of seeing the people around you getting hurt. When it happens you get angry, at the people who hurt your loved one, and at yourself. You weren’t there to protect them, you were too late.

Noah blames himself whenever Stiles gets hurt. I believe, based on his childhood home life that Noah corresponds his son getting hurt with failure as a parent. And knowing where he comes from, that’s an extra sore subject for him.

We have basis of it in canon.

We can also see that Noah’s guilt tends to eat at him if he ever has to discipline Stiles or yell at him. As shown in the following scene.

I believe that the abuse Noah endured makes him a very scared individual especially when it comes to raising his son. He’s constantly afraid he’s turning into his father, his afraid of making the same mistakes. He’s afraid he’ll scar and traumatize his own as he was traumatized himself.

The fact that Noah is aware of what he’s doing, that he stops when asked is enough of an indication to tell us, the audience, that he isn’t his father. Once Stiles indicates he’s okay, or simply tells his father to stop, Noah stops immediately. He usually hugs his son or initiates a kind physical contact right after. 

He stops, he reflects, realizes his mistake, and tries to do better.

This is one way to break the cycle. Noah’s not perfect at it, we can see him struggle many times. He insults Stiles or his intelligence without meaning to, passing it off as a joke, he’s constantly working and is not around as much as he should be. And those are valid criticisms of this character.

But deep at his core Noah’s trying to break a cycle of physical and emotional abuse, he’s trying to be there for Stiles. Tells him to go to school, tries to keep an eye on Stiles and tries to talk to him whenever he has the chance to explore Stiles’s wellbeing and feelings.

This is a man who went through hell as a child, became a father, and decided to do better.

Noah is a character who effectively broke a viscous cycle and has a wonderful and strong relationship with his son as a result. It’s not without flaws and Noah’s not perfect. But he’s generally not abusive or an abuser. And that is a step in the right direction.

It also shows us, the audience, that no matter what home life you come from, you can arise above your own traumas and do better for the next generation.

-

Now Chris Argent is an interesting one. I already talked about Chris and trauma in my daddy’s little soldier meta.

Considering the type of person Gerard is, and how he treats several teenagers in the show. I believe Chris is also a victim of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse. We don’t know much about his home life with his mother, so that I can not speculate on.

What we do know is, Gerard has no qualms about hurting children and teenagers. He’s admitted that he would kill his own son if it meant he survived. He’s raised his own son to be a weapon and to compartmentalize his emotions. I shudder to think as to what methods Gerard must have used on Chris. But as we never see them, I can only speculate.

So how did Chris break his cycle of abuse?

By not raising Allison to be a hunter. For the first seventeen years of her life, Allison didn’t know the Supernatural existed. She was kept out of her father’s life until it was no longer possible. She was never raised as a soldier, she wasn’t raised to hide her feelings. If anything, her father encouraged her and nurtured her to the best of his abilities. Chris tried to be there for his daughter. 

He even moved her to France to get her away from their lives. He quit something he was raised to do and did it successfully, just to protect his daughter. He grew up to be everything his father wasn’t.

And while Chris, too, is not perfect at it, he does try and breaks the cycle.

He’s aware of their problems, addresses them, and tries to do better. He even extends this nurturing and protective side to Isaac later down the line. 

Chris, a victim of abuse, sees the signs of abuse in Isaac, and decides; this one, this one I will nurture and protect too. Which he eventually accomplishes by bringing him to France and away from the craziness that is Beacon Hills. (Would have been nice to get a good plot about Chris adopting Isaac, but well, that’s another rant.)

Chris, like Noah, shows that even if you were raised in the worst circumstances, by being aware of your trauma and how that affects others, you can break the cycle and come out on top.

-

And last but not least we have someone who went through an horrific event and possibly emotional abuse from his family, discovered he was a father, and then had to adjust.

I’m talking about Peter Hale.

Now Peter is not a morally good character in general. He has no qualms about killing people who get in his way. From what we know about his childhood Peter also had anger issues as a small child and often broke his toys. 

However, the reason why I’m stating that Peter was most likely emotionally abused (I think by his sister Talia) is because we know that Talia, would not believe Peter about the fire and the Argents and waved his concerns away without considering them. She manipulated multiple of his memories and frequently hid the truth from him. And we know that their relationship from before the fire was strained.

We also know that Peter does care about his family. He cared for Cora in the hospital and he does care about whether Derek lives or dies and tends to keep an eye out for his nephew. In later seasons we also see Peter caring about his only daughter Malia and even express fear for her wellbeing when they go up against the Anuk-Ite. 

His love for Malia is eventually what frees him from the Ghost Riders control and his wish for her to live is what motivates his decisions in Season 6 to try and keep her safe, and when he can’t keep her away from the fight, he joins her and tries to protect her.

Now I believe that the Peter we see in S1,2, 3 and S6B are the real Peter Hale. A traumatized man who believes his only way to stay alive is through manipulation and careful planning. But he does genuinely seem to care about a few people, Cora, Derek, and Malia.

In Season 1 Peter is still coming out of his traumatic event (being burned alive and then being in a coma) and he has to navigate a new world. He kills Laura (or so it is speculated) for her Alpha power and to heal himself. Because to Peter, he is the only one who can avenge his family and resolve the traumatic event he went through.

Revenge, of course, is generally not a good way to resolve trauma and the plan doesn’t work. His trauma is not resolved by killing Kate and he dies that night.

When Peter comes back practically powerless he has to navigate carefully and he does so through manipulating the people around him. To Peter, manipulation is the only way to stay alive and get ahead. This idea of his, had to come from somewhere.

This is where my theory of emotional abuse kicks in. Because if Peter was emotionally abused by his sister (for which there is evidence in canon), he most likely picked up his tactic of manipulation as a survival tactic.

Now out of the list. Peter is the only person who doesn’t fully rise above his past. The past still haunts him as he becomes a protector of Beacon Hills in S6B. But I firmly think that if we got to see more of Peter past this point, we would have seen a man starting his journey to recognizing his toxic traits and trying to do better by them. But that of course, is just speculation.

Peter’s story teaches us that the road to healing and becoming a better person isn’t always linear. It’s not a given that you’ll heal if you aren’t ready to accept it. Or if you’re so focused on getting revenge that healing is impossible, it’s also not going to work. And usually, trying to heal requires a positive presence in your life (Malia), a support system (Malia and the pack), and a willingness to recognize what you’re doing wrong and to better yourself moving forward.

Sources:

Breaking the Cycle of Child Abuse - Article written by a psychologist and peer reviewed by a psychiatrist

The cycles of violence - Article written for the WHO by the University of Birmingham

The Teen Wolf Wiki - for all information and episodes of these characters

Teen Wolf - MTV tv show that owns the characters.

[watch-talk-fixate]

The Humility of Family and Being a Hero: A Darkwing Duck and Drake Mallard Analysis.

Special thanks to @stoopakoopa @mighty-ant @drakepad because they inspired me.

Ducktales 2017. A show that a lot of people saw a simple cash grab and the exploitation of nostalgia of 80s and 90s kids alike. But it was a true surprise. A show of adventure and family and exploring yourself in the family name. This show brought so many characters from the golden age of Disney Channel called “The Disney Afternoon Era” with faces from shows like: Gizmoduck, Talespin, Goof Troop and Darkwing Duck. 

The whole concept of Darkwing Duck is quite silly really. A parody of Batman, superhero tropes and even James Bond but with a duck in the suburbs of the fictional city of Saint Canard living with his boyfriend sidekick Launchpad and his adopted daughter Gosalyn. As someone who watched the show in reruns back in the day and recently rewatched it on Disney Plus, I didn’t think I would have appreciated this show as much as I thought I would. Dry and witty humor that caught me off guard and it truly doesn’t seem as dated as other shows from those times. 

But I’m here to talk about Drake Mallard and what it means to be a superhero and a parent. 

(For the sake of the analysis, I will be referring to Drake Mallard from the Ducktales 2017 reboot as “Drake Mallard!17” and the Drake Mallard from the OG Darkwing Duck show as “Drake Mallard!91”.)

Ducktales 2017 for a long time was alluring to bringing Darkwing Duck into the universe of the show. Many fans didn't know how this was possible until a certain episode that was the rise of another superhero and Darkwing Duck’s long time rival: Gizmoduck (now voiced by the guy who wrote a Broadway musical that won many awards-- Bring It On the Musical. I’m kidding. Lin Manuel Miranda). In the episode ‘The BUDDY System’ we are shown what looks like a fight scene between Darkwing Duck and his villains, MegaVolt and QuackerJack. But then it’s abruptly cut when it’s revealed to be a video. An episode. Launchpad explains to Dewey (the blue duck nephew of Donald Duck) that Darkwing Duck is his favorite TV show’ meaning that Darkwing Duck is a TV show in the Ducktales 2017 universe. A show inside a show. 

Weird, right? 

But what does this have to do with being a superhero and a parent and how family humbles you? Well, in the OG Darkwing Duck show the character of Drake Mallard is shown to be a late-20s to early-40s nobody in his two-parter episode debut-- “Darkly Dawns the Duck”-- who spends his days locked inside an abandoned bridge tower and out fighting small-time crime at night as a purple masked weirdo. And I say this in the kindest way ever but Drake Mallard!91 is an asshole. It’s later revealed in the show that he wanted to be a superhero not because he wanted to protect the people in his city -- that is a parody of Batman’s Gotham -- but because he wanted the praise and attention of being a hero. He’s a hero for a selfish reason. 

But how is it possible to have an asshole for a main character that lasted 91 episodes? Drake Mallard!91 has a child. It isn’t his biological daughter really but she is his daughter. In his two-parter episode his first real ‘save’ is the granddaughter of a scientist that was murdered by the mafia and now they are after the granddaughter because she has the code for a machine that they are going to use to rob banks and release mayhem across the world. Darkwing Duck!91 goes to save her and they start to have a bond that makes my daddy issues burst into tears. 

Hiding her in his secret hide-out, she isn’t comfortable and Gosalyn needs to sleep so as a way to calm her down he sings her dead grandfather’s lullaby to her. I won’t reveal the rest of the episode or the “plot twist”(?) because I think it’s a cute episode. But here we see that Drake Mallard!91 does have the ability to care about others that isn’t himself or his reputation. 

At the end of the episode, he goes out of his way to adopt Gosalyn and officially makes her his daughter. Throughout the series, you see that Drake Mallard!91 bonds with Gosalyn. Taking her to school, talking to her about emotional things, and doing everything in his power to protect her from the harm that comes with him being a superhero. But in one of my favorite episodes “Toys R Czar”, Drake Mallard!91 has come to the conclusion that he can’t both be a hero and great parent after one of Gosalyn’s teachers points out that she has been causing a lot of issues at school. He blames himself for not being a good parent, reading parenting books and following them to the letter. Cleaning, baking cookies and even being the director for a play where he made Gosalyn the star. 

He gives up being Darkwing Duck. He gives up the one thing that he worked so hard and was so proud of. Drake Mallard!91 put his ego aside to be a good parent and was ready to throw away his cape and pick up an actual job to raise Gosalyn. He did the toughest thing about being a hero, a figure of salvation: having a family. 

I think that the reason that I enjoyed the OG Darkwing Duck a lot despite me being a bitch to the pain character’s ego and pride was that yes, he would probably be a terrible parent but he has Gosalyn and Launchpad to guide him. He has them to ground him and not let his ego overrun him into believing he’s such a big-shot hero because he stops supervillains with only a gas gun, smoke bombs and a purple mask. His family makes him human-- despite him being a duck. 

Now moving onto Ducktales 2017. In the episode ‘The BUDDY System’ when Launchpad is telling Dewey about Darkwing Duck being his favorite TV show and growing up on it he mentions an actor’s name: Jim Starling. 

Jim Starling plays Darkwing Duck. Remember that. 

(Fun Fact: the actor who voices the OG Darkwing Duck/Drake Mallard!91 does the voice of Jim Starling.) 

In my favorite and comfort episode “The Duck Knight Rises” we are shown that Jim Starling has suffered the same fate of Bo Jack Horseman: a washed out actor from the 80s/90s that is living on the steam of his former success. Jim is no longer as popular as he was back in the day, making money off of signing autographs and openings of less-than-desirable stores. It isn’t until Dewey mentions the fact that there is a Darkwing Duck Movie ready to release that we see Jim Starling happy and ready to jump back into the role. 

The Role of a Hero. 

We discover that Scrooge McDuck is the one producing the movie and after watching the trailer both Launchpad and Jim Starling agree that this isn’t faithful to the character. Yet Jim doesn’t really care, he wants to be back into the light and have the attention and adoration of an actor. Of being a hero. How very of Drake Mallard!91 of him. 

The director of the Duck Knight Rises movie tells Jim that he isn’t playing Darkwing Duck. A younger actor is. Outraged, he attacks the actor and is kicked out alongside Launchpad. Jim Starling believes that he is owed this role. That this role only belongs to him and no one else in the world. Roping Launchpad into his plan, here we see that Jim Starling never truly let go of his past when he slips on his old Darkwing Duck costume to play hero again. 

It is Launchpad that begins to question him when Jim starts to ramble about revenge, Launchpad still looking at his old idol with nostalgia tinted glasses and goes along with the plan. 

Here is where the analysis begins to pick up again. When LP sneaks into the actor’s trailer and immediately panics, locking himself, the Actor comes to his rescue. After some light fighting we see that the Actor is a big fan of the Darkwing Duck; possibly bigger than LP himself. LP does have a connection with the show but it seems that he Actor here takes it up more personally. That his whole ideologies and all of his morals came from a silly little show from his childhood and is the reason he is the way he is today. This whole movie is his big shot and a dream come true. 

Immediately after this, we see Jim Starling running around and knocking people out. Actually hurting people just to get back into the role he’s clinging on to. Paralleling the Actor’s acceptance of the role and Jim ready to draw blood because he can’t let go. 

Finally, we see the Actor and Jim Starling have a “sane” interaction. That it’s a huge honor to be here with him, says the Actor. That he wants to play the role of Darkwing Duck with Jim’s blessing. That they can do this together. 

But Jim wants this for his own. All for himself. 

After knocking the Actor out, we see a glimpse of how gone he is. How attention thirsty he is and that he will literally stop at nothing to get back on screen. 

The whole climatic fight of the episode is the Actor putting on his new Darkwing Duck costume and heading off face first into danger to save people as Jim Starling just snaps. The new confronts the old. With the trademark, goofy Darkwing Duck openings of I am the terror that flaps in the night but more modern. 

As they fight, it’s LP that finally gets to Jim with him telling him how much Darkwing Duck means to him and what it means to be a hero like him. As a power beam prop is ready to fall on top of LP, Jim does what a hero is supposed to do. Sacrifice. By pushing his biggest fan out of the way, he completes the role he has been yearning to play. 

They don’t find the body. (Yes this is a kids show). But here is where we learn that the Actor’s name is Drake Mallard. 

Drake Mallard!17. 

Launchpad is the one that convinces Drake Mallard!17 to be the true Darkwing Duck. For Jim. 

Jim Starling is what the OG Darkwing Duck was. Egotistical, wanting fame and attention, having all of the qualities that would make anyone doubt that he is truly a hero. The thing is that if Jim Starling only played Darkwing Duck, not Drake Mallard (because in this universe he is a real person), then it means that he didn’t have a Launchpad or a Gosalyn to ground him. Jim Starlings is what happens when a hero is isolated and is only a hero and not a person. 

Drake Mallard!17 is a person who becomes a hero while Jim Starling is an actor who pretended to be a hero. Jim was stuck in his own vanity, not having anyone truly reminding him that he isn't’ the roles he plays; that he isn’t Darkwing Duck. 

Drake Mallard is Darkwing Duck.

[jeongyunhoed]

Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia

Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.

Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy

Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol

Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.

Author’s Note: Ten plays devil’s advocate, more anger and rage from our main character. This chapter was originally supposed to go according to the plot I made, but considering what I typed out, I ended up ripping up the paper where I plotted chapters 5 and 6. 

Listen to: Gimme Gimme - NCT 127

Masterlist

Chapter 5

It took Mirae seconds to process everything that Baekhyun was now saying. Baekhyun looked so satisfied, so pleased that his plans had succeeded. “I took everyone you love away, just as you took everyone that mattered to me away, in a way,” He said with a chuckle. “If you were wondering about Yeosang in there, it’s not like he would genuinely be there for you either. You’re really all alone.” 

Her hands felt like clenching into fists. “Now you’ve succeeded. I am all alone. What else do you want to happen?” Mirae asked. 

Baekhyun smiled and with a snap of his fingers, all the lanterns in the garden lit up, illuminating the otherwise dimly lit grounds. “You are right about that, Mirae. I have succeeded in making sure you lose everyone you love while making you feel guilty for not being able to save them. If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you were and still are the monster you are trying so hard not to be.” 

“What the fuck do you want with me? Am I supposed to get down on my knees and grovel?” Mirae said through gritted teeth, anger rushing through her and she was trying her hardest not to snap this time.

It only made the male laugh. “No, of course not. But, seeing as I’ve made you suffer enough, I thought I’d give you a proposal. Ino knows about this of course. Project Apocalypse is more than just a think tank. It’s about time mutants embraced our superiority over everyone else. If living peacefully among them doesn’t cut it, taking control certainly does. If you join me, you not only give this venture added credibility, but you also give it the necessary firepower it needs in case of dissent.” 

Mirae just stared at him, anger still boiling and bubbling inside her the more she listened to him. “Of course, if you don’t, it’s going to be very concerning what happens with Junhong, and possibly even the loved ones of Chanyeol and Hyuk, and maybe even your… brother? Choi San, isn’t that his name?” Baekhyun grinned. “I am aware that San heals, but that won’t stop me from trying. Besides, your immortal soulmate could still be killed, and it wouldn’t take me to do it.” 

Baekhyun glanced at her, waiting for her to speak. “Don’t think I don’t know who else you are around, Mirae-” 

Mirae had her hand on his throat, her eyes glowing red. Baekhyun coughed and gagged, his hands on her wrist. He noticed that her fingertips were glowing red as well. “You really dare to do that, don’t you? After all we’ve been through?” He coughed. 

Mirae didn’t say anything and only squeezed his neck tighter and kicked him far into the deep end of the swimming pool. She turned around and walked back inside, seeing Taeyong and Mark already standing, while Yeosang remained seated along with Jongin. The glow in her eyes faded as she met their gazes. “Baekhyun’s in the pool,” Taeyong eyed Mark, both of them rushing out onto the garden. 

“What happened? What did you do?” Yeosang turned to her. “Did you kill him?” He asked, Jongin looking horrified. 

Mirae turned to the teleporter. “You helped Baekhyun in killing Hyuk and Chanyeol. Tell me why I shouldn’t return the favor? I remember you telling me before that you have sisters, and you have parents, and your nephew and niece…” She recalled, approaching Jongin, who was looking even more horrified. 

Jongin stood up and disappeared in his place, appearing in another part of the room. Mirae’s eyes began to glow, making Yeosang get up from his seat. “Mirae, do you really want to do this?” He asked, glancing at Jongin, who kept teleporting in random spots in the room, while glancing out the window from time to time. 

The dining table exploded, making Yeosang jump out of the way. The shelf containing porcelain dinnerware also exploded, some of the shards hitting Jongin before he could teleport again. The decor that hung on the walls were also charged and exploded, destroying almost the entire room. 

“Mirae, I-” Jongin sputtered, his teleporting ability fluctuating when a shard of glass cut his leg and made him limp. “You have every right to hate me-” He choked when Mirae had her hand on his throat and kicked the shard in his leg further into him, making him yelp. 

“I think I’ll track them down, after I’m done with you,” Mirae squeezed his throat tighter. “By your reaction, I think they know you’re alive and you’ve been seeing them often since that time.” 

“Mirae, come on- You w-wouldn’t,” Jongin gagged, seeing Yeosang lock and close the doors. He tried to teleport again, but his energy was wavering.

Mirae looked down at the shard that was still exposed and it exploded, causing a big gaping wound into his leg. Jongin groaned in pain, eyes widening when he saw that her eyes no longer had the red glow, but were of a pitch black. Yeosang stared at her. “My dear, keep going.” 

“Y-Yeosang, what are you-” Jongin looked over at the immortal incredulously, seeing Mark appear.  

“I am impressed by how this is turning out, strangely,” Yeosang said, standing behind Mirae. He looked at her. “My dear Mirae, I must confess that this is a side of you that I frankly find so attractive.” 

Baekhyun coughed and took out a pistol, only for it to explode in his hands when Mirae’s eyes glowed red again. She let go of Jongin, who collapsed to the floor, coughing and holding his leg that had a gaping wound. A beam of light came from Baekhyun’s hand, aiming towards her face only for her to duck. Baekhyun kicked through what was left of the dining table and tried to charge at her, only for her to kick him away. Mirae glanced at Taeyong and Mark, who looked especially alarmed, then looked up at the ceiling. 

Yeosang, sensing what she was about to do, ran out of the mansion. Taeyong was quick to follow suit, trying to outrun Yeosang to the front doors. Mark pulled Baekhyun and ran towards Jongin, the three of them disappearing as the ceiling began to crumble down. 

Boom. 

~ 

San arrived at the floor where Junhong’s apartment was, seeing the rest of them including Yunho, sitting around and looking concerned and holding an ice pack over his head. He was concentrating, trying to hear Mirae’s thoughts to get an idea of where she might be. He was growing even more worried, while sending dagger looks towards the room that they knew was Ino’s. 

“I know we’re all worried and wondering where Mirae might be right now, but the rest of you need to eat something,” Junhong broke the silence as he took out a large plate from the microwave that had a large burger with fries and a tall drink. “I’m testing out these bars I made that turn into meals. Perfect for missions.” 

“Where’s Ino?” San asked, looking over at the meal on the plate and taking a fry. “Left again?” 

“What else would he be doing? He’s not even bothering to duplicate himself right now,” Yunho grumbled. 

“Who could it be, though? If Mirae is not the only one who survived the Seoul attack after all, there may be one or two of them,” Junhong pondered on the thought, taking out a plate of spaghetti that came from another bar he was testing with the microwave. 

“Could those one or two people be the ones that were in here?” Hongjoong questioned. “If they were, then they must have been mad at you, at Mirae, at Chanyeol, at Hyuk or something.” 

“Possibly. There goes the training room I spent months on building,” Junhong sighed. 

Yunho got up and took the ice pack off his head. “I’m going to look for her.” 

“Do you know where she is?” San asked. 

“Yes and no,” Yunho sighed. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. If Mirae was alive, or conscious at the very least, he’d still be able to hear her, or at least read her memories. He opened his eyes, his expression turning into a crestfallen one. “Baekhyun and Jongin. I keep hearing those names from her. Baekhyun and Jongin.”

Junhong stared at him. “...Baekhyun and Jongin. The two of them survived.” 

“There are others too, not just them, not just Yeosang,” Yunho closed his eyes again to concentrate. “Psychics, immortals, but she’s angry at those two because they were here.” He could see her memories of being taunted by Baekhyun when he revealed that he was behind the explosion. “Baekhyun and Jongin messed with the Danger Room.” 

“...That’s impossible. They wouldn’t know how to tamper with the controls-” Junhong looked over at the door of Ino’s room. “Ino told them about it?”

“No, but Ino knew they were here. It’s all I could get from her now, it’s like she’s so far away-” Yunho opened his eyes again. 

“Where could she be?” Hongjoong asked. 

“I don’t know, it’s like she’s somewhere by a body of water or something.” 

They heard the doorbell ring and all of them looked at each other. “Except for Mirae, all of us are here,” San looked back at the door. 

Hongjoong sped past them, the blade from his sleeve already unsheathed as he looked into the monitor. “There’s no one outside,” He said. The doorbell rang again. 

“...Yeosang?” Yunho and San exchanged looks as they stood up and Hongjoong opened the door. 

In came the mutant himself, looking frazzled. “Thank heavens I looked in the right one, I went up to see if any one of you were there and I had the sense to be here,” He said. 

Yunho’s expression fell and he immediately grabbed Yeosang by the collar. “Where did you take her?” 

“Would you prefer me to answer or are you just going to kill me?” Yeosang replied, and Yunho could sense that he seemed just as concerned. When Yunho let go, he dusted himself off. “Well, I can see that the cadre of assassins is here.” 

“Explain. Where is Mirae and what happened to her?” San asked. 

Yeosang glanced at the rest of them, including Junhong. “Oh my, you have all been sitting around and waiting, aren’t you?” 

“Well we don’t even know where she is and what we’re going to do so unless you can help us out by telling us where she is and what happened to her, we’ll take it from there,” Yunho replied. 

“I took her to where she would find the answer to her question of who killed her two friends. There, she found the answer and there she unleashed her rage. It’s the first time I’ve seen her like this but I reckon it must be all the grief she is feeling,” Yeosang said quietly. 

Wooyoung got up from the floor and a glance at Yeosang brought in flashes of visions of what happened. “She crumbled down a mansion, didn’t she?” He asked. 

“Yes, yes she did. Two of them, her old colleagues in that center she used to work in, took the most beating,” Yeosang replied. 

“You’re afraid of Mirae,” Wooyoung pointed out. “Your face might not show it, but I saw it. You ran out of that mansion while she was in there blowing it up.” 

“Anyone with half a mind should be afraid, especially of someone like her,” Yeosang said. 

“Well, we witnessed that when she lashed out at Ino the other day,” San said. “And fought Yunho and I off while she was out there in the streets wandering.” 

“Where was the mansion?” Junhong asked. 

“It’s a long drive north. You’ll know you’re near the boundary when you see burned down cars. Those were likely their bodyguards who were trying to keep us from going,” Yeosang explained.

“Then we go there,” Hongjoong nodded, making the rest of them stand up. “I’m not going to be surprised if we don’t see her there, but Wooyoung will be able to see where she will be next.” 

“At the end of the burned down cars, there’s a thick fog ahead. Just move past it, you’ll get there,” Yeosang advised. 

“Where are you going?” San raised a brow. 

“I was informed by the two other mutants that were with us, Mark and Taeyong, about Project Apocalypse, a business venture that they were planning, while Mirae and Baekhyun were dueling in the garden of the house, I found out what that venture was all about,” Yeosang explained. 

“Which is?” Junhong asked. 

“Project Apocalypse is a think-tank, and they plan on exerting influence over political matters through that think-tank, to push their agenda,” Yeosang explained.

“Which is?” Yunho asked. 

“Mutant supremacy. I must admit they drive a very hard bargain on that idea. Our mutant race taking over the country, governing non-mutants, all of the power and control goes to us of that persuasion,” Yeosang said. 

“Nothing good will come from that,” San shook his head, realizing what it meant.

“It is what I was thinking as well. I will always stand for our kind over the rest, but if there is anything I have learned over the centuries, it’s that the ruling race may not always bring peace, and absolute power corrupts absolutely,” Yeosang nodded in agreement. “However, Mark thinks the opposite even if he’s lived as long as I have,” He muttered.

“Mirae would be looking for Baekhyun and Jongin, right?” Hongjoong chimed in. “And we’re looking for Mirae. We might have to change who we’re looking for. If we find those two, we’re bound to see her.” 

The rest of them nodded. “Where could they be? Would you know where they’d go to next?” Seonghwa suddenly asked. 

Yeosang nodded. “Unfortunately I do. The mansion Mirae blew up is owned by Taeyong and his brother Taemin, they will likely be at Baekhyun’s penthouse, in a metropolis not far from where the mansion is.” 

“In that case, I’ll prepare the van with everything we’ll need,” Junhong took away the rest of the bars he was testing and went inside his room.

The rest of them did the same in their places. Hongjoong pushed back the blades hidden in his sleeves while Seonghwa filled his quiver with arrows and folded his bow. San unfolded his harpoon gun and loaded it with an arrow while Yunho picked up his holsters that had his sai. Mingi fitted the shurikens and axes he had on his belt while Wooyoung sheathed his katanas and Jongho fitted his pair of nunchaku in his holster belt. 

~ 

A giant pile of rubble crumbled into dust as Mirae crawled out of the debris that came from the mansion. Her eyes were still glowing red as she dusted herself off upon getting to her feet. A lot of the debris and rubble landed on the lake below and she heard a hissing sound come from the waters. 

They had disappeared. There was no sign of any of them. Of Taeyong, of Mark, of Baekhyun or Jongin, or even Yeosang. The white streak in her hair seemed to become more prominent, as if taking over another section of her hair. She kept replaying what Baekhyun told her. It was all him. He was responsible for the deaths of Jihoon, of Chanyeol, of Hyuk. The red glow in her eyes remained as Mirae felt nothing but anger. She wanted to know where they went, blinking a few times when she kept hearing someone’s thoughts. Yunho’s thoughts, wondering where she was. “Stop it, stop it, stop it!” She yelled, the nearby vehicles and sheds exploding. 

She saw several people arrive at the scene, looking horrified at the sight of her in the midst of the ruins of the mansion. Mirae stared at them, the ground exploding in front of them, keeping them away. An armored van pulled up and out came a team of law enforcement all wearing tactical outfits. “Hands in the air!” One of them shouted. 

Mirae stared at them and then at the armored car behind them, making it explode. “Hands in the air now! Freeze!” Another one yelled. 

She stared at their weapons, making them explode one by one, the rest of the guards taking out their other weapons as backup. Mirae reached into her pocket and took out the deck of cards she had with her. 

“You probably shouldn’t do that,” A suited young man suddenly appeared from a portal close to the road. The portal closed behind him.

“Why not?” The cards were charging in her hand. 

“Because-” The male ran up to her. “Because these people are not worthy to see you showing the true extent of your powers.” 

“Are you with them? The guys who owned this house?” Mirae asked him. 

“I created this little world they lived in. This reality was created by me,” He said. “Call me Ten. You must be the soul-taker.” 

The glow in her eyes faded and he saw tears fall down her eyes. Mirae fell to her knees, breaking into sobs as the cards she was holding crumbled into ashes. “They killed people I love. They killed them.” 

Ten bent down to stroke her hair. “They did, didn’t they? And now you want revenge, your anger is driving you to kill them aren’t you?” He said calmly. “The people that betrayed you, the people you thought you trusted the most, who would never do anything, hurt you in the worst way possible, didn’t they?” 

A portal appeared behind her, showing an abandoned boarding school, its grounds almost barren and bathed in gray, black and white, almost devoid of any color. Ten gently helped Mirae up to her feet. “Come, let me take you to my place, it’s not much to look at, but you will find a way for your revenge in there. I will help you,” he said. 

Mirae looked over at the portal behind them, seeing a few glints of light in the distance. She reluctantly followed him inside, the portal closing behind them as they found themselves in the place where the boarding school was. “Where is this?” She asked quietly, wiping her soot and tear-stained cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket. 

“This is in the same world I created. You can stay here if you want, no one can harm you and they will think twice before they think of doing it,” Ten muttered near her ear. 

“Will I find Baekhyun and Jongin inside?” She glanced at him. 

“Anyone you want to find is in there. Give them a piece of your mind, show them how much of a mistake it is to cross you,” A smirk crept up on his features as he led her towards the dark entrances. 

~ 

With Junhong at the wheel and Yunho in the passenger’s seat, the rest of them seated themselves at the back inside the van, driving down the highway that Yeosang told them about. “It’s been a while since I was on a mission like this,” Junhong muttered as he drove. 

Yunho’s expression fell. “Those two people also killed Jihoon. I can hear her thoughts. They killed Jihoon too.” 

Junhong sighed. “Basically everyone who was there for her from the beginning.” 

“Honestly, I don’t even know what to do, how to calm her down,” Yunho said quietly. “I mean, I know they hurt her, I know how hurt she is, losing people she loves, and to think before she ran away, we fought,” He looked down. 

“The way I see it, we have to understand that none of us, no matter how long we’ve lived, has seen everything she has. I know you know that, Mirae probably told you that the first thing you two started arguing, and I’m no psychic,” Junhong said, sensing the teleporter nod. “I know they always tend to include us whenever the Seoul attack is brought up, but the thing is, she was there. She fought those goblins back into oblivion. Ino gave her the directive to blow up the Center.” 

“The guys said that was how she looked when I died in her arms,” Yunho looked out the window. 

“Perhaps. It’s another thing we have to understand. Mirae has lost a lot of things in her life. Her biological parents didn’t want her, so she was interned in that sanitarium. She thought she lost you during that mission you all told me about. When she had to fight her adoptive parents because of that cult, she had to kill them and witness Jihoon dying too. And now, she lost Chanyeol and Hyuk,” Junhong said quietly. “She’s probably losing hope. She’s probably afraid she might lose you again and San too in the midst of her rage.” 

The rest of them overheard Junhong’s words. “Thinking about it, she brought us together again,” Hongjoong said, looking down. “Quite a few times too.” 

“This is all Ino’s fault, really,” Jongho crossed his arms. “But what happens if we fail?” 

“We’re not going to fail. It’s not an option,” Seonghwa shook his head profusely. “We can’t fail. We’ve got powers, we’re good enough.” 

“As cliche as that might sound, I must agree with him,” Yeosang chimed in. “But are you all strong enough to go against the people that may have her right now in one way or another?” 

“What kind of mutants are we dealing with?” San asked. 

“Quite a few psychics. Jongin is a teleporter, Baekhyun controls light. Mark is immortal like me and only Yunho and I can kill him,” Yeosang revealed. “However, out of all of them, Taemin is the one you might want to watch out for. He can mimic your powers, you know. Ten too. He can send you into another dimension completely.” 

“So we’re up against psychics, they can read our minds, that’s great,” Wooyoung grumbled, the katanas behind him hitting the wall of the van. 

“They’ll know what we’re up to before we even do anything,” Mingi sighed. “We’re definitely screwed.” 

“I may have the advantage on that. They won’t be able to read my mind,” San shook his head, looking determined. “But as for the rest of us, I don’t know.” 

“Mirae seems to be the key to end this whole mess. She has exposed the faction of our race that is bent on power,” Yeosang mumbled as he sat back. “They have kept themselves hidden in the shadows long enough and they plan on making quite an entrance to the world.” 

“You make it sound like they’re bringing on the apocalypse in their Project Apocalypse,” Hongjoong glanced at him. 

“They can pull it off whichever way, it would be best not to underestimate them,” Yeosang pointed out. 

Junhong slowed down when he saw the piles of burned down cars and piles of ash on the road. The asphalt was also littered with scorch marks. Yunho sat up upon seeing the damage that was done. The thick fog Yeosang mentioned was close by. Junhong and Yunho exchanged looks and nodded, the elder slowly pressing the gas to drive towards the fog. The fog seemed endless as he drove on. Yunho closed his eyes in the hopes of reaching out to Mirae again. All she seemed to think was that she was getting tired, and that she was bent on looking for Baekhyun and Jongin. 

The fog was beginning to clear up, and they found themselves at the lakeside village. “We’re here,” Yeosang said, making all of them look out the window. “Junhong, drive towards the smoke coming from the cliff. That’s where the mansion is, or was.” 

“I was going to do that,” Junhong muttered, side-eyeing the vampiric mutant as he drove on. 

“This isn’t the north, is it? Please tell me we didn’t reach North Korea,” Mingi said. 

“This is nowhere in North Korea. This is the place created by one of the people I just told you about,” Yeosang pointed out. 

As Junhong pulled up in front of the burned down ruins of the mansion, Wooyoung transformed into his shadow form and slipped out of the van, slinking towards the ruins. Yunho tried to concentrate again to reach out to Mirae. After a moment, Wooyoung’s shadow form slipped back inside the van and he transformed back to normal. Yeosang cringed at the transformation. “Well? Any luck?” Hongjoong asked. 

“Someone took her into this portal,” Wooyoung said. “That guy you were probably talking about. He brought her somewhere, like a building, a big building, almost like a private school.” 

The rest of them glanced at Yeosang. “Where is that?” 

“Ten has taken her to their headquarters. Possibly where they intend to carry out Project Apocalypse. He can be very...manipulative,” Yeosang said. 

“So that’s where you go to sometimes? Hang out with those kinds of people?” Yunho raised a brow. 

“They are like me, and they were already there before the rest of you got your powers,” Yeosang replied. “However, I must reveal that this is where your so-called wise figure has probably been going.” 

“Ino,” San mumbled. “So there’s a chance we might fight Ino hyung too, huh.” 

“We’re definitely screwed,” Wooyoung frowned.

[corvidshipping]

also, if anyone is wondering, since the actual release order of narnia differs extremely from the official timelines order, the actual release order is:

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Prince Caspian

Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Silver Chair

The Horse and his Boy

The Magicians Nephew

The Last Battle

and the chronological order that i follow (its hotly debated and no one 100% agrees on it), with the timeline in mind (and my unwanted commentary), is:

The Magicians Nephew (the prequel!! comes first bc it describes the origins of narnia. pretty good, but the themes are hugely religious. the aslan-as-jesus metaphor from the first book goes from subtext to just text. not the worst as far as bigotry, and though jadis is written as being barbaric shes also written as white - since the white queen, whom she becomes, is described as impossibly pale - so they managed to skip some of the negative implications there. i genuinely enjoy this one a lot!!)

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (an absolute classic, i love this book but ive read it so many times i could probably recite it in my sleep)

The Horse and His Boy (this is a racist one folks. its one of my least favorites. the plot is good, and thats what makes me so sad about it - it has strong themes of White Savior, Colonialism Good, Dark Skinned People From Desert Bad. it fuckin SUCKS bc the character development is so interesting and i loved shasta and aravis’ relationship but the racism is so overt in it that i even noticed it as an oblivious kid. i will say that this book is worth reading not for the plot or for the characters, but for the lore; it provides an insight into the rule of the pevensies, which lets us build sort of a history of narnia! but honestly, its a skippable book. you will not miss out on anything important if you skip this one. any important points that are in this book r covered in the other ones. second one in the series bc it takes place during pevensie rule, technically during LWW but it comes before Caspian for me since that book starts with their return to narnia.)

Prince Caspian (third book since it talks about the pevensies coming back to narnia, a while after they were kicked out in LWW! the movie bored me as a kid, but i love the book although ive read it so many times i dont know if i could read it again. after this book, the chronology is mostly the same as the release order bc theyre written more or less with the start of the next after the end of the last. also, the last book with every single pevensie child in narnia at once)

Voyage of the Dawn Treader (this is a rly good one, its a lot less religious than some of the later books and its also less racially charged, the themes are very focused on exploration and adventure and its rly good!! it also introduces a new character, eustace, and focuses on lucy and edmund who were actually my favs as a kid - i know edmund was a shit, but i liked that he was able to redeem himself. it reminded me that few ppl are beyond redemption, as long as they actually try to do right.)

The Silver Chair (the first narnia book to feature absolutely 0 pevensies! it focuses on eustace, from Dawn Treader, and his friend jill, and furthers the development eustace started making in Dawn Treader! this was my #1 fav as a kid, i read it so many times which is why its fuckin SCANDALOUS to me that i forgot most of the plot somehow though an reading back - oh my god puddleglum, i forgot how much i used to love puddleglum?? actually. i used to have a crush on him. um. wait. wait a minute-)

The Last Battle (oh. oh god. this is just the book of revelation for kids. its ... so bad dude. i dont like this one much. i used to love it as a kid but... dude, the christianity metaphor goes from being an occasional plot point or part of the mythology of the world to the entire plot. its basically about the end of narnia, where this guy convinces his friend to fake being aslan making his return until aslan actually makes his return to fight the Evil Satanic Nonhuman God that the Scary Dark Skinned People From The Desert worship -- its the most overtly written subtext ive ever seen. the main - of course white - characters literally do blackface at one point. it sucks so bad. and then, as if thats not bad enough, theres a sprinkling of misogyny on top - susan forgot about narnia bc shes not allowed back in, because she became too old and got interested in makeup and fashion. no joke. shes interested in makeup and fashion, so cat jesus thought she was too shallow to go back to narnia. i dont even recommend reading this one for the plot, its bad. i will literally explain the important plot to you if you want, you shouldnt have to struggle through this book to get that lore. its not worth it, baby.)

[raccoon-wizard]

Two and Half Assholes

An entire one person (shout out to @jumpfiend) expressed their wish for me to write an angry essay about the long dead show Two and Half Men (2003-2015) and all the problems it has. Allow me to start by saying that I am by no means a professional critic and I have never really written an in-depth review of anything. But I have a lot of feelings that I need to get out about this shitshow, otherwise my head is gonna explode next time my father insists on watching it.

Just a warning, this is a very long post.

What is Two and Half Men about?

If I tried to write my own summary here, I would probably end up tearing it to shreds already. Instead, I’m going to borrow the annotation from IMDB.com: “A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beachfront house.”

That doesn’t really say much, does it now. Luckily, the same site also provides us with a wide range of plot (hahahah “plot”) summaries written by users. This one tells us a little more: “The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.”

Now that’s much better. It gives us quite a decent picture of the show’s ensemble. At least for the starter episodes, this is pretty much what it is. But as the show progresses, we see that the characters have a little bit more depth to them. But not that much. 

Let’s start with Charlie Harper, the “freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon” portrayed by Charlie Sheen. (Is that man still a thing?) I think we can get a lot by taking apart this brief description of him. Freelance jingle composer pretty much means that he has a grand piano in his house and we can occasionally see him playing it while trying to put together words for a commercial for some random product. And that’s it. He has a few other musician friends who are just as big of assholes as he is, but we’ll get to that later. Other than that, we don’t really see him working at all. I think there is one episode about him writing kids’ songs because his girlfriend’s kid likes them. And one about him getting an award?? I don’t know man. The second part of that statement is a much more prominent “personality” trait of Charlie’s. In nearly every episode, we see him “dating” (meaning shagging and then dumping) another woman. I have mentioned in my initial post that this show is misogynistic. Don’t worry, I will also get into that later. For now I’m going to say that Charlie treats all these women absolutely disgustingly and we’re supposed to laugh at that. On the rare occasions we see him in a long term relationship (which happens twice I think? I’m not sure now), we get the stereotypical ball and chain bullshit. The woman takes all his freedom and tries to make him better. While I hate that trope with burning passion, I have to admit that in this case, she does have a solid point. Charlie is a pathetic excuse of a man who has to count on his good looks (questionable) and his riches. By the way, where did he even get them? Does composing jingles really make that much money? Is he that good of a gambler? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen another episode addressing the fact that the answer to both of these questions is no. Where the hell did this luxurious beach-house come from??? So many questions about a show that deserves so little.

Surprisingly, Charlie is the better one out of the two brothers. At the start, we really do feel sorry for Alan. His wife (who is a HORRIBLE person by the way) kicks him out and manipulates him into still paying for everything and doing many things for her around the house. Who wouldn’t feel bad for someone like this? He moves in with Charlie “for the time being”. Soon, we realise that he is not leaving the house anytime soon. He becomes a disgusting leech, a truly pathetic excuse of a man. And he doesn’t even bother hiding it. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to feel sorry for him or laugh at him, but either case doesn’t really work if you spend at least ten seconds thinking about it. How are we supposed to sympathise with a man that lives off of others and barely lifts a finger to change it? The worst part is, the show presents it as something completely normal. We don’t really see Alan’s actions turning against him, do we? Most of the time, whatever shit he does, works just fine for him. 

Another prominent character is Alan’s son, Jake, who grows up throughout the series. A fat little boy, not exactly bright. A spoiled brat (if it’s the fault of Alan or Judith is questionable) that has everything handed to him, as Charlie points out in one episode. It’s another bad personality trait that we’re supposed to find funny. And at first, we kind of do. But once again, as the show progresses, it gets worse. Jake becomes the oldest kid in his class because he fails so many times. He only gets to start middle school because “he’s too big for the desks in his class now”. A bit of a watered down Dudley Dursley now that I think about it. It feels that the older Jake gets, the dumber he is. He eventually joins the military because he is too daft to realise. (If I remember correctly, that was done only so Jake’s actor could leave the show because he pretty much realised how bad it was.)

The main reason why I hate this show so much, however, is its way of handling female characters. There’s a few prominent ones - the aforementioned Judith, Alan’s ex wife, a cold hearted manipulative bitch, that also follows the trope of “I’m breaking up with you because I’m a lesbian” for a while, but then it’s never addressed again, not even once. Then we have Alan and Charlie’s mother, Evelyn, also a cold hearted bitch lacking any motherly instincts whatsoever that the men blame for how they turned out. Honestly, I can kind of see it. There’s Rose, Charlie’s neighbour whom he had slept with once and who’s been obsessed with him ever since, following him pretty much wherever he goes and inappropriately visiting him, usually in order to chase any woman that gets close to him away. We have Berta, Charlie’s housekeeper that I would like to believe is there to show the differences between different classes, as she has a large family to take care of, fending of her daughters’ admirers and dealing with drug and alcohol issues. But at this point we all know she’s only there so we can laugh at her struggles and the witty remarks she likes to make. 

A special category of women in this show are the lovers and girlfriends. All of them end up either leaving the men for someone better (good for them tbh), or getting left by them. But remember, we’re supposed to always be siding with the men. The women are there for us to laugh at and hate. Rose the stalker? The only reason Charlie never gets rid of her is so we can laugh as she appears unexpected on his balcony over and over again. Are her apparent mental health issues ever addressed? Maybe once, but as a joke. You know, the classic ha ha ha ha look an insane person that’s hilarious. Judith the ex wife and her flock of weird friends (that Charlie converts)? Look, evil wives hating men, ha ha ha ha. Better run away from there, men, or they’ll eat you alive! Ha ha ha ha. Judith wanting support from friends and claiming she deserves to be happy is played off as something we scoff at. Chelsea, Charlie’s girlfriend and fiancée? The ball and chain thing, similarly to Judith, but not nearly as manipulative - this one we can see really means well and wants to help Charlie, but he’s a Man™ and cannot handle that, despite claiming to love her very dearly. Lindsay, Alan’s on again, off again girlfriend? Oof. Where to even start with that one. As most of the characters (save for maybe Judith), she starts off decent, despite her inexplicable desire for Alan. (Seriously though what in the world is up with that.) Also, now that I mentioned Alan’s weird sex appeal (not to me but to the female characters of the show, ew), what the hell was up with Judith wanting to suddenly fuck him again and HIM ENDING UP BEING THE FATHER OF HER DAUGHTER???? Was that the point when the writers just said “you know what, fuck this” or?

Some additional things the men on the show did to women:

Infidelity. Aka “ha ha ha many women want man what a lucky bastard he gets to fuck many women ha ha ha oh no he’s been caught ha ha ha funny”.

Infidelity with their friends/family members. I’m pretty sure this happened multiple times. One of the male protagonists gets a girlfriend. Girlfriend has an attractive daughter. Man sleeps with daughter. Girlfriend is mad. Man claims that it is actually a compliment to her because the daughter is just a younger version of her. Man gets upset when girlfriend disagrees. Poor man, girlfriend mean :(((

Another thing I would like to point out is the show’s dumbass approach to sexuality and gender. It’s the age old, straight men bullshit that lesbians = hot, gay men = ew. We see that throughout the whole thing a bunch of times. Alan ends up marrying Walden (whom I will talk about as well) so they can scam an adoption agency. That’s just wrong, man. That’s awful. And regarding gender, the way this shitshow handles trans people is disgusting. I can currently only think of one instance of this, but I have a feeling it happened multiple times, but with Charlie and Alan. They meet a woman, flirt, sleep together, all fun and games. But for some god forsaken reason, after all is done, the woman decides to be like “yeah by the way I used to be a dude” and?? Why?? First of, why would any trans person want to tell anyone their deadname and other things after successfully transitioning? I’m a cis woman, but this really makes no sense to me. Please correct me if I’m wrong on this one, but if you’ve spent years trying to pass as whatever gender you identify with, transitioned, you wouldn’t exactly go around sleeping with people and afterwards telling them about it, would you? And second of all, the entire reason why these characters appear are so we can be like “eww he slept with someone who used to have a penis eww” and laugh as they have a small crisis because of it. Just. Why?? I am aware that this is a thing other shows do/have done as well, but it really bothers me. And even when the guy decides to roll with it, all we get are those jokes that the woman is “more manly” than him. I remember vividly Alan hooking up with a trans lady and briefly dating her, only so we can see her pick a fight with a man, pay for their food and shit and Alan being flustered because he feels like less of a man. Again, please correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of gender is limited, but I’m about 97 % sure this is not how it works.

One would have thought that most of this would end after Charlie’s death. His place is taken by Walden Schmidt, portrayed by the angel that is Ashton Kutcher, a “billionaire internet entrepreneur who has recently been divorced and is now suicidal” (wiki). Before I dig in to how it actually got worse, let’s talk about Walden for a while. He really is a nice change. Walden is a genuinely good character, we see him working super hard and treating women well and just being great. I actually like him. The problem the show has when it comes to him is treating his suicidal-ness as just another little joke. Ha ha ha man wants to die man weak. Funny. But as we get over this part (rather quickly tbh), things involving Walden get actually good (besides the part where he sleeps with Alan’s mother). We do see some annoyingly familiar divorce related things, but in contrast to Alan, we see Walden actually get back on his own two feet. 

Alan will forever be my biggest issue with this show. I don’t know if he gets worse or if it’s just the contrast with Walden that makes it seem that way, but he becomes a bigger and bigger parasite, exploiting Walden’s kindness, becoming a lover to his, at that point, former girlfriend Lindsay and somehow exploiting her current boyfriend? He just goes haywire is what I’m trying to say.

I’m not saying that people like that don’t exist. We see it every day, the rich playboys, the pathetic incels. They are everywhere and we totally should talk about them. But not like this. We shouldn’t feel like we should sympathise with them, we shouldn’t hate those that try to criticise them, or those who want to get rid of them. We shouldn’t laugh when they hurt people around them. Men shouldn’t want to relate to them. Characters like this should be presented as something we should avoid becoming.

“What’s your problem? It’s just something I watch to unwind,” my father scoffs at me as I complain about yet another evening we all have to spend listening to the nonsense Two and Half Men brings us. Yea, maybe for you. Maybe you know better than to treat people around you, especially women, like they’re just something you can play around with and then throw into the sewers. Maybe you give everyone equal respect. (No he doesn’t, by the way.) But you know, with the way this TV channel plays this show over and over and over and over again (five episodes a day, every day, and the second they get to the end, they just start over), there’s probably a number of young people who don’t realise how wrong it is and take what’s said there as something to live by. Maybe they’ll think that it’s okay to use people to their advantage. Maybe they’ll think like a rich entitled middle aged straight white man. That’s my problem. Even though the show ended five years ago, it still lives on our televisions and it still gives us wrong examples on how to live our lives. That’s why I hate the show. Not just the awful writing and “plot” holes. It’s the way it treats people and presents it as something that’s totally fine. 

[ariainstars]

Skywalker Men - The „X“ Factor in the Equation

Recently I have heard and read quite a few interpretations of the Star Wars sequels; and regarding its conclusion, there seem to be two major theories.

1.  Kylo Ren will pay for what he did and end in a terrible way, making the way free for Rey as the heroine who will save the galaxy, and who maybe also will turn out to be a Skywalker / Solo / Kenobi after all. 2.  Kylo will be Ben Solo again and Rey will be the one who brings him back to the light.

But we know that this is the Skywalker saga. As Luke himself said, “This is not going to go the way you think.”

The two above-mentioned developments are, each in its own way, the most logical and straightforward ones, depending on whether you see the protagonist as Kylo Ren the villain due to his crimes, or as Ben Solo the hero undercover / the victim due to his uncle’s betrayal and Snoke’s manipulation.

But when you are dealing with a Skywalker, you can be certain only of one thing: the unexpected. Because the Skywalker is always the X factor in the equation.

Every Skywalker man is a hot emotional mess. Their impulsiveness is one of the major factors of the saga, urging the plot on. And that’s not wrong in itself: if they make a spontaneous decision reaching out to someone, it turns to be the right thing in the end. It’s when they make things only about themselves that they fail. 

With characters like Obi-Wan, Yoda, Han or Leia to name a few, you usually know where you’re at. Their personalities are well-defined and you can foresee what they will do from a mile away. Han sometimes is spontaneous too, but his actions are dictated by slyness, not by rushed emotions. Being Anakin’s daughter, Leia is hot-headed too, but due to having been raised a princess even if she takes sudden action, she never loses her sense of responsibility and always thinks of the common good.

With a Skywalker, you are definitively always in for surprises. They often don’t do what they are expected to do, whether from us viewers or from the characters around them. 

Skywalkers usually do not explain or justify themselves. They do not speak about these spontaneous acts, which leads both viewers and the figures around them wonder about their motivations and to judge them, depending on whether we or they see them as the heroes or the villains (or, occasionally, as the fools) of the story.

Prequels

Anakin Skywalker’s very existence is a mystery. He is the most powerful Jedi of all and comes from the humblest beginnings. His mother is not even aware of how she got pregnant with him.

It is 9-year-old Anakin who brings the Naboo Battle to a closure, destroying the droid’s control station which was orbiting the planet. All he did was to “stay in the cockpit”.

On his mother’s death, Anakin lashes out for the first time. His anger and grief are understandable, however it is as terrible as it is unexpected that it will push him so far as to kill the entire tusken village.

Knowing the original story we were of course aware that Anakin would marry Padmé; however to the Jedi, this was unthinkable because they would never have guessed that a Jedi would dare to oppose their strict code. Even Obi-Wan did not know for years, until on realizing that Padmé was pregnant he finally put two and two together.

Anakin’s marriage may seem foolish, immoral or romantic depending on your point of view. In any case, it’s crucially important because without this marriage, the two children who will later bring down the Empire would not have been born.

Again, as viewers we did know that Anakin would turn to the Sith. But the Jedi did not see it coming and they could not stop him. Obi-Wan was shocked on finding out that the one who had killed the Jedi younglings was indeed his former apprentice, saying over and over to Yoda that he could not believe it.

On Mustafar, Padmé almost succeeded in convincing Anakin to leave everything behind him and come back with her. It is interesting that she still had the power to do that (thus proving that there still was good in him) despite the horrible things he had done.

Would Obi-Wan have suspected that Anakin would survive Mustafar, a quadruple amputee burning in the lava? Assuredly not. That’s why he left him behind. We can only imagine his reaction on finding out that Lord Vader, Palpatine’s right hand and the scourge of the galaxy, had been built from Anakin’s miserable remainders.

 Classics

Luke proves right away to be a true Skywalker when he learns that Leia is about to be executed. He is in terrible danger on an unknown space station and he has never met the girl in person, but he immediately feels that he has to rescue her.

Darth Vader is Moff Tarkin’s subordinate. But the suggestion to let the rebels leave the Death Star in order to track them down comes from him - a risky tactic that proves to be fatal. Not being a Skywalker, Tarkin would certainly never have come up with such an unexpected idea.

Despite the protests of both his mentors, Luke rushes to Bespine because he feels Han’s and Leia’s distress. To Obi-Wan and Yoda, both straightforward characters, the obvious thing for him to do would be to stay on Dagobah and complete his training. But as usual, Luke follows his heart.

The probably most unexpected plot twist in movie history: “I am your father.”

Not only is the fact in itself totally unpredicted, it’s that Vader does tell Luke at all, in an attempt to keep his son with him. Knowing the truth, Luke can no longer hate Vader. From this moment on, he is lost to the Dark Side.

When the Falcon first escapes, Vader does what everybody would have expected him to do: he chokes captain Needa to death. On its second escape, he just exits the bridge wordlessly. The encounter with his son seems to have shaken him more than he thought.

Why is Return of the Jedi the quintessential Skywalker film, the peak of the classic trilogy? Because so many things happen that no one would have foreseen.

Luke tries to solve matters with Jabba the Hutt diplomatically. Any kick-ass action hero would have entered his cave showing his strength and skills right from the start. Luke only grabs his light sabre at the very last moment.

Darth Vader, the cold-blooded killer, the most iconic villain, is still salvageable? “There is still good in him, Leia.” No one but his son could have realized this unexpected truth.

A decision that is controversial in the eyes of many fans to this day: Luke’s decision to give up fighting.

Palpatine has done his utmost to corrupt Luke, trying over and over to create enmity between father and son. Luke refuses to be separated from his father once more: he proclaims himself to be a Jedi “like my father before me.”

His loyalty is ultimately what brings the Empire down.

Although it costs him his life, Vader destroys Palpatine in order to rescue his son - another spontaneous decision taken at the very last moment, so unexpected that even Palpatine, who knew him so well and for so long, did not see it coming.

Sequels

Adult Luke is normally a calm and self-controlled person. But on sensing his nephew’s power, he is overwhelmed by a sudden moment of panic, and he draws his light sabre because he fears the loss of everything he loves.

Kylo Ren has no qualms killing innocents and torturing prisoners. But as he interrogates Rey, he is surprisingly gentle.

We see Kylo interact with Han on the bridge: his words to Snoke “He means nothing to me” were obviously false, he does feel something for his father. Yet he commits the patricide. He does the unthinkable, believing in Snoke’s words that this will finally end the conflict inside of him pushing him to the Dark Side for good.

Kylo would have had the opportunity to kill both Finn and Rey who are untrained with the light sabre. But he only wounds Finn (despite calling him a traitor, too) and lets Rey go unscathed.

After his terrible deed, we would expect Kylo to now be the ultimate villain. But as we see his face again a few days after the patricide, he is obviously deeply traumatized.

On her visit in the cave, Rey is confronted with her loneliness. The only person who offers her companionship and empathy is the alleged villain.

Ben does not speak with Rey about his intentions. He kills Snoke when he was least expecting it, taking both Snoke and Rey entirely by surprise.

Again, surprise: Luke is not really on Crait, he’s a Force projection. He uses his nephew’s anger against him in order to save his sister and her resistance, and to end the battle on Crait without spilling one drop of blood. A move that is as cunning as it is compassionate.

After the battle, Kylo would still have the time to send someone to go after the Falcon and shoot it down. But despite his assertion to destroy everything he just remains back, crying silently.

Now about the theories for Episode IX.

Being the last of the Skywalker family Kylo Ren / Ben Solo is, again, the X factor in the saga’s equation. Like with his grandfather before him, we know too little about his background to really know what we’re at. We see the sequels more through Rey’s eyes, which is why we tend to mistake her as the protagonist; hence the above mentioned two main theories for the saga’s conclusion.

Kylo is not predictable. He will most certainly make a few decisions no one would have reckoned with. As Lor San Tekka said right from the start, he cannot deny the truth that is his family. All we can do is hope that he will act for the right reasons.

What makes everybody wonder about the Skywalker men, is the same over and over: what do they want after all?

One would expect the protagonist of an action saga, of a hero’s journey, to do what action heroes usually pursue: save the world, kill the villain, get the girl. One would expect a Jedi to always do the right thing and a villain always to do evil. It is admittedly irritating when the protagonist takes unexpected turns over and over.

Knowing the Skywalkers, what I believe they ultimately want is belonging. They are fiercely loyal, but it can literally drive them out of their minds if their loyalty is not requited. And unfortunately, their power often makes people mistrust them, using them at times, but not really requiting their services with trust and appreciation. Snoke’s downfall came due to the fact that he showed his apprentice lack of respect, a huge mistake Palpatine never made with Vader.

Anakin had to give up his mother and his wish of becoming a pilot. He did all he could to suppress his emotions in order to find belonging with the Jedi, to no avail: they never trusted him. When he feared to lose the only ones he did belong to - his wife and unborn children - he lost himself. Only when his son proclaimed his loyalty to him did he turn and find belonging again.

Ben Solo, too, originally had the wish of becoming a pilot. He did struggle to become a Jedi, but he got unsettled when his parents sent him away from home and pushed over the edge when his own uncle seemed to give up on him.

Luke is the exception because he is so deeply human, and so accepting of other people’s humanness, that people can’t help but trust him. Luke is always more a human being than a Jedi. He does employ his powers but they do not define him as a person.

So, if we try to guess how the saga will end, we must not ask ourselves what Rey will do.

Will she kill Kylo Ren, making him pay for his crimes?

Will she save him with love and forgiveness?

I don’t think that’s the right question to make. The question is: what will he do?

Kylo committing some other horrible, unpardonable crime? No actual surprise there after the patricide.

Ben helping / saving / joining Rey? No surprise there either, after all the times he reached out for her.

If the Skywalkers were not the way they are, their saga would not be half as captivating and the plot twists not half as fascinating. Who wants to follow a story where most everything goes as expected?

With a Skywalker guy, the only thing to be expected is the unexpected.

Let’s keep our hopes up and tuned.

P.S. I did write a few meta’s about my own theories for Episode IX, you may want to check them out. Yes, I know, I’m a bloody tease. Guilty as charged. 😉

[hwu-adventures-blog]

Maxwell 😭😭

Do I care that I didn’t get Bradshaw and Isabella’s approval despite giving my best shot at it because I just like pleasing people? No, no I do not.

Do I care that I actually got Amalas’ support despite not even trying? Yes I do. I may not trust her 100%, and I’m a bit concerned that she’s not telling the whole truth, but still she’s a pretty cool character in my option regardless.

Um, I’m really sorry, Bianca, have you entertained the fact that Jackson might have had an affair with Eleanor? Because he seemed pretty close with the queen. And that’s why he thought the queen wouldn’t want Constantine to find out, since, it’s not his child? Oh god if Bianca does find out that Jackson was having an affair (if he was), it’s going to break her (I like Bianca, since she’s been nothing but nice and is completely innocent but not Leona, despite being nice to her at the ranch, I don’t like her, that being said, I don’t see why they’re at the Apple ball, I mean, Bertrand and Savannah are family or friends, but Bianca and Leona only met the MC two weeks ago and are not close friends, unless, you’re married to Drake, obviously, it’s your in laws in that case, but my MC is married to Maxwell, so I guess it’s for the plot)

B**ch, what? If this true, she gonna pay, MC will set Olivia on her since she can’t do anything since she’s like eight months pregnant or wait until she’s given birth to kick her butt. However Seriously, MC and the gang have done nothing to her and she has the audacity to tip off the paparazzi which then caused a car crash that could have killed and almost did kill the MC, Maxwell, their unborn baby and heir to the throne, Liam, who is the king of Cordonia, Hana, Bastien and most importantly her own nephew, Drake if not for Bastien’s driving. Why punish people who had nothing to do with whatever Constantine did? It just doesn’t make sense! So until we get anymore clarity on the situation, I’m taking it with a pinch of salt that she is directly responsible and that it’s more likely that she got payed off to pay the paparazzis to follow MC (I’m suspecting it was one of the royals if that’s the case, probably Bradshaw as he seems likely to do it plus he’s got similar features to Jackson, including skin tone, which could point to the fact that one of the royals are the lost younger sibling and the main suspect at the moment in that theory is Bradshaw).

[downtonabbeyrevisited]

Series One - Episode Seven

One thing that seasoned Downton viewers will know is that either the plot moves so fast that you get whiplash moving from point to point and have to perform a fair amount of mental gymnastics to recall single lines that were (canonically speaking) made months and sometimes years ago, or it’s so slow that you think you’ve slipped into a coma and are having a strange dream about the coming of electricity. This instalment is a whopping 65 minutes long and  defiantly falls into the former category of episode. Don’t be fooled by the slow start of dusting chandeliers, every single plot point that King Julian has ever thought of is about to be covered in rapid succession whilst the July 1914 stamped ominously at the bottom of the screen indicates that the shit is about to get real. The main topic of conversation in Downton Village is apparently the murder of the Austrian Arch-duke. Who knew that rural Yorkshire with its still broadly illiterate population during this time period was so switched on to international relations? 

William’s mother has (predictably) died and Anna has made an armband which is utterly indistinguishable from his livery in her honour. Another soul unable to appreciate this is Mrs Patmore who is now so blind that it has been brought to the attention of those who dwell upstairs. Mrs Patmore is summoned to the library where she collapses into the nearest available chair after chewing off Robert’s ear and he arranges to send her up to London. I doubt this was quite the reaction he was expecting but there we go. In Beryl’s absence, Mrs Bird comes to hold the fort and test Daisy’s loyalties to provide a bit of light relief in what is, when you think about it, quite a grim episode. 

Despite being slow on the uptake, Daisy soon gets into the swing of launching the Downton scullery equivalent of chemical warfare whilst Mrs Bird makes disparaging comments about the kitchen and staff. But Daisy soon falls foul of a bit of bait and switch and only succeeds in almost giving Thomas’ colon a thorough clean out. 

Whilst Mrs Patmore sits in Moorfields reeling at the fact that cataracts can’t be removed by whatever the 1914 equivalent of homeopathy is, Anna is determined to get to the bottom of why Bates was in prison. Thomas and O’Brien’s written confirmation of Bates’ previous misdeeds have only served to light a fire under her and with a confidence to which I can only aspire, she marches into Greenwich. Or is it Chelsea? My knowledge of barracks isn’t what it used to be despite the fact that I am typing this a stones throw away from one now. My superiors are weeping somewhere. In true British Army fashion, a man with an impressive hat brings out a massive book which he never refers to for any information that he could not hold in his head. He then gives out Mrs Bates Senior’s address 104 years before GDPR kicks in. 

A meeting with Ma Bates confirms that it was Vera who stole the regimental silver rather than John but he took the fall, apparently feeling that he had ruined her life. However I can’t be the only person who is still a little unclear as to why he did go to prison for Vera as there doesn’t seem to be much evidence that he had ruined her life unless I’ve missed something, which is entirely possible. Anna returns to Downton and appeals to Robert to keep Bates on. Because he is a useful character for pivoting plot points around, Robert agrees, and our favourite self-sabotaging valet lives to survive another series. 

Considerably less eager to stay at Downton is Thomas who has a right old time of it this episode, roaring through all of his typical behaviours: smoking in archways, leaving tables with entire plates of food in-front of him to go and perch on a crate and plot with O’Brien, stealing from Carson in an inept manner, having at least two other characters discuss just how awful he is and finally take shots at William. Except this time, they aren’t snide remarks. These are actual shots involving pre-German sniper mangled fists. Having volunteered for the Army medical corps with Dr Clarkson, Thomas is riding high on his way out the door and makes inappropriate marks about a combination of dead mothers and babies. William takes him on and the two roll around a bit on a table then the floor. Carson calls for a halt but doesn’t actually intervene: its up to the Irish Radical to bring about peace. Some irony there one feels. 

But perhaps Carson’s inaction is connected to the emotional upheaval that of course comes with owning a telephone. I should know; mine has been on ‘Do Not Disturb’ for at least a year now. Presumably seeing the phone as an affront to his skills as a butler, there are a fair number amount of him looking perplexed at the new arrival. But with a bit of practice under his belt, he is ready to reluctantly shuffle into the twentieth century. Oh I do love him. 

The coming of the telephone is good news for Gwen through who manages to bag herself an interview out of its installation in the Abbey. However she neglects to say that she was a housemaid on her application form. The manager of the company scoffs at this upon learning she works at Downton “you thought that would put me off!”. Well yes, because less then twenty minutes ago you were bemoaning the fact that you couldn’t find any secretaries with experience which is what you needed. King Julian is now struggling to maintain continuity within an episode never mind between. Lord. 

After 18 years, and presumably a lot of hormonal shifting, Cora is pregnant. Robert sounds incredulous and frankly, we all are. Robert doesn’t understand what’s been done differently to bring about this major shift in plot, but Cora brings him to an abrupt halt before he can pick along any further down that particular line of enquiry and an entire nation, nay the world, exhales. However Foetus C’s appearance on the scene coincides with the departure of Simmons and through a convoluted chain of events, their fates are inextricably linked. O’Brein overhears that a new lady’s maid is required and immediately jumps head first into the wrong end of the stick. But to be fair to her, Violet and Cora seem to only talk about their quest when either Thomas or O’Brien are in earshot which is asking for trouble really. But that does not excuse O’Brien committing infanticide by proxy via the medium of Imperial Leather. With a bar of poor quality soap that breaks alarmingly easily and an off-screen yelp, it’s all over and another massive plot point that has a whole lifecycle within less than an episode. 

Although Foetus C didn’t hang around long, he made quite the impact and along with the influence of Aunt Rosamund manages to unsettle the romance that Matthew and Mary have been carefully cultivating since Episode One. St James Park provides a backdrop for Rosamund, following the tradition of all Aunts worldwide, to winkle out the truth about their nieces and nephew’s love lives. As they glide through London, and pass two men sat on a bench trying to divert the apocalypse, Rosamund plants the seeds of doubt that will eventually blossom into a full blown crisis in about thirty minutes time with the mere suggestion that Mary might have to live in a cottage. 

With the prospect of another male heir on the horizon, Matthew considers moving back to Manchester but not before he can have the first of two emotionally charged conversations under a tree. Matthew witters on about ‘prospects’ whilst Mary looks increasingly desperate. That tree and the accompanying bench have seen an awful lot of drama: people have sobbed under it, plotted beside it and stared artfully into the middle distance beneath its shadow and its only series one. 

But even when it’s clear that Matthew’s inheritance is not in danger, he returns to the tree with Mary to assert the fact that he is leaving Downton for reasons that I can’t entirely fathom but are mainly based around the fact that he doesn’t want to be socially engineered and that he can’t be sure of anything. Wearing the world’s most pointless gloves, Mary covers her face and weeps in what is fast becoming a signature move. The ‘tree’ scenes between her and Matthew have been a real chance for both actors to get their teeth into a bit of decent uninterrupted dialogue. I have loved Michelle Dockery since she stole my twelve year old heart as Susan in Hogfather and she has not failed me yet. 

Carson comes to comforts Mary under the ’tree of emotional conflict’ and in one shot we have captured the charm of Downton. Ahh. Now, back onto the nonsense. 

The garden party is suddenly upon us and with it, the tying up of as many loose ends as possible just incase the series isn’t renewed. Hold onto your hats folks! Mrs Patmore returns in a cracking pair of sunglasses, Clarkson gives Thomas his papers who then promptly resigns, William and Daisy reconcile, Mrs Hughes warns Branson off Sybil whilst Sir Anthony pegs it out of Downton before Edith is allowed any measure of happiness, O’Brein attends to Cora’s every need and then learns that she was never in the firing line anyway, Branson plucks up the courage to answer a telephone, Gwen gets the job and proceeds to hug Branson and Sybil hug in a manner that you would think would be enough to cause a scandal, we learn of Ma Bates’ approval of Anna but Bates is still a stubborn idiot , Mr Moseley wants to crack on with Anna and if you squint a bit Downton Abbey briefly looks like The Villa. Oh and WW1 breaks out.  

Romantic declaration of the moment 

“I’d say he’s keen. Very keen indeed” Well then TeLl HeR JohN! Anna and Bates must be up there for slow-burn romance of the millennia and for my money is a better love story than Mary and Matthew but that could just be my gritty scots and northern heritage rooting for the little guy. 

Expressive eyebrow of the week 

Robert won last episode but nevertheless his face during the menopause chat with the accompanying “please” wins this one. THIS is why Fleabag Season 2 Episode 3 had to happen. 

Wait, what? 

“Is there anything worse than losing one’s maid” Erm…maybe the oncoming death of 17 million people with 11.5% of the British Army told by the upper echelons of society to walk slowly towards the guns? 

“Oy” is Mrs Patmore Jewish? 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to sit in your presence my lord” That is a surprising amount of respect from someone who only two episodes fed him a chicken that had both been on the floor and nibbled by a cat…. 

“Try not to miss me, it will be good practice” Bates is a lovely man but ultimately he is a masochistic twat. 

“First electricity, now telephones. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in a H.G. Wells novel” Julian really does reserve his best for Maggie. 

“I’m not much good at building my life on shifting sands”  Calm down, Matthew. 

“He had a right to know how his countryman died, in the arms of a slut” Calm down, Edith. 

[mobius-prime]

173. Sonic the Hedgehog #105

You Say You Want a Revelation?

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Josh and Aimee Ray

We're finally back to the main series plot! Sonic is disheartened to see Nate's things being moved out of his house, knowing that by leaving Nate behind in Robotropolis they consigned him to the fate of roboticization. However, he's not content to leave him in there without at least trying to rescue him, and so leads Tails and Uncle Chuck to the castle in the hopes of talking to Elias, unaware of his disappearance. In Robotropolis, Hope goes to her step-father along with her grandmother to voice her concerns about the Robians she saw escaping the city, stating her beliefs that her uncle created them. Colin initially refuses to believe her, but Eggman steps out of the next room with Snively, grinning evilly as he informs them that she's totally right. Back in the castle in Knothole, King Max is experiencing true regret for perhaps the first time since we've seen him come back from the Zone of Silence.

Sorry, Alicia, but I have to wholeheartedly disagree. A lot of this is Max's fault - he refused to listen to either his son or daughter, and picked someone who was clearly not cut out to be a leader to put in charge of everything, over his daughter who was trained her whole life to lead a kingdom. In Robotropolis, Eggman airs an announcement over every screen in his city that he's "discovered" that everyone is infected with toxic waste poisoning, and must come to him for treatment immediately lest they succumb and die. Colin is outraged, pointing out that Eggman should be infected as well then, only for Eggman to reveal his true colors - literally - as a robot.

Uncle Chuck and Sonic both explain their plan to use the sword to King Max, who seems somewhat apathetic, upset not only at the loss of his son, but the loss of Nate as well. He's uncertain, as he only knows of two people who can even use the sword's abilities: himself, and –

Max reluctantly agrees to Sally's plan, ordering her to take Sonic with her as an escort. Sonic is pleased, but finally notices Sally's somewhat lackluster responses to everything he says, asking her if he did something to upset her. Before she can respond, Mina suddenly rushes up, hugs Sally while thanking her profusely for saving her mother, and then races off again, leaving her speechless. Meanwhile in Robotropolis, Hope runs for her life through the streets, trying to hide in a back alleyway with Eggman's voice following her the whole way. He finds her through a hidden screen in the alley, and tries to manipulate her into surrendering by saying he'll spare her grandmother. Agnes, of course, yells for her not to listen, and as Hope watches…

Hope is surrounded by shadow-bots, but Sonic suddenly appears, smashing them up and ushering her over to Sally for protection. Eggman is furious to see her being rescued, until he hears Sonic's voice behind him, Sonic of course having run at light speed all the way into his headquarters. Eggman tries to grab hold of him to roboticize him, but Sonic smashes the floor underneath him, sending them both plummeting into the room below. There, Sonic is horrified to find a familiar, frozen face staring back at him.

Eggman gloats that the sword doesn't seem to affect roboticized Overlanders, and then, with the rest of the city's Overlander population gathered within the room, offers them a demonstration. He calls Snively forward, informing him that he, too, is poisoned from the toxic waste, and while Snively is upset, having thought that as his lackey he would have been protected, Eggman offers him a deal - take his hand. You see, apparently Overlanders only become frozen after roboticization if they're unwillingly turned, but if they take the offer of their own free will, they retain their ability to move and act… and with a grin, Snively takes his uncle's hand.

And that is the awful true scope of Eggman's plan. He let everyone live within his city for two months, ensuring that they'd become sick, and then offered them supposedly the one thing that could save them, making sure that they'd have to take his offer willingly and become his slaves. Of course, we just watched this backfire, but Eggman knows that by rejecting his offer and going with Sally and Sonic, all the Overlanders are likely to get even sicker and stretch the already strained resources of Knothole. However, we know that Sally is smarter than that, and there's already a hidden city of Overlanders - or sorry, humans - out there that might have some room…

Before we move on to the conclusion of Myth Taken Identity, we have another character file to peruse - this time, for Snively! Unlike the previous couple, this one actually contains some new information about his life - but first, the technical info. Calculating his real-world height gives us the absurdly-short height of 97 cm, or 3'2". For reference, someone is considered to have dwarfism if they're anywhere below 147 cm or 4'10" tall, so Snively definitely qualifies. (Nate Morgan probably would too, but we're never actually given any information on his measurements, so there's no way to say for certain.) Snively also weighs 38.4 kg or 84.5 lbs, and his birthday is on May 14. Interestingly, his birth year indicates that he's actually only thirty years old! He definitely looks a lot older due to male-pattern baldness, but if you think about it it makes sense - after all, he's Robotnik's nephew, and the original Robotnik was likely in his late forties or early fifties at the time of his death.

What really makes this entry noteworthy, however, is his life history. He was born Colin Kintobor, Jr., which is an ordinary enough name, and his mother died giving birth to him. He was treated terribly by his father Colin Sr., who is actually the one who gave him his nickname. You'd think it would have been Robotnik who stuck him with such a humiliating nickname, but no, his own father called him Snively because of his lack of social skills. He compensated all throughout his childhood by immersing himself in the world of technology, and found a way to take advantage of every friend he made. He was kicked out of the house as a teenager, and with nowhere to go, turned to his uncle Julian, whom he helped seize power over the Kingdom of Knothole. However, he soon found himself being mistreated by his uncle as well, and as we know, eventually grew so resentful that he rigged the Ultimate Annihilator to target only Robotnik so he could be free of him once and for all.

While one could argue that these are the actions of a sociopath, or a narcissist, I'm gonna go ahead and say that Snively would have had a very different personality had he actually grown up with a family who loved him and looked after him. All this poor kid ever knew was bullying and emotional abuse. He's been taught, by life and by the actions of those around him, that the only way to look after himself is to be selfish, and to latch onto those more powerful than him for security. I touched on once before that Snively seemed to be basically in an abusive relationship with Robotnik, and didn't know how to go on after he thought he was dead, but this page confirms that things are only sadder than we originally realized. It was this page, plus some other events further into the comic, that made me realize that I actually liked Snively as a character, and wanted to see him break free of Eggman's control and come into his own. Unfortunately, having just allowed himself to be roboticized, that's not likely to be happening any time soon…

Myth Taken Identity (Part III)

Writer: Mike Gallagher Pencils: Nelson Ribeiro Colors: Frank Gagliardo

Guru Emu, upon discovering the dam from last issue, has found himself with rekindled hope that he can find and save his friends who have been kidnapped by the bunyip. He descends into the dam, discovering that it was originally constructed by Crocbot, who of course used it to power his various weapons and detention camps. It turns out that this dam is behind the strangely dry riverbeds and the disgusting lake, as it's been disrupting the local ecosystem, even more so now that it's abandoned and not being maintained. But what of Walt, Barby, and Bill? Well, as it turns out, they're also inside the dam, protected by an airtight compartment with a window through which they can see the bunyip gazing in at them. Barby, apparently, speaks many languages, including whatever ancient language the bunyip speaks, and convinced it that they're no threat. She gets it to explain its plight, as well as why it's been attacking everybody.

I mean, that hardly seems like a good excuse for just attacking random people on the street who clearly aren't Crocbot, but the Downunda Freedom Fighters want to help anyway. While Barby informs the bunyip that Crocbot was defeated some time ago, Guru races down the hallway toward them, having overheard everything. He has discovered a room full of explosives elsewhere in the complex, and so…

The bunyip is grateful, and leaves to spend its happy days in the clean water, and though the D.F.F. briefly consider inviting it to join their team, they ultimately decide that they'd rather stay as a four-person group from now on, knowing that no one can replace Stu.

And now we have one last character file to look at for the issue, this time for Dimitri! Dimitri is actually the tallest individual so far, at a height of 133 cm or 4'4". That's a full foot taller than Sonic! He weighs 39.9 kg or 87.7 lbs, and his birthday is on September 28. He's 378 years old, finally giving us a clearer idea of exactly how long the Brotherhood has existed, considering earlier issues were very unclear and inconsistent on the matter. Like Sally and Julie-Su, however, his character file doesn't give us any new information, merely recapping the previous events of the comic as well as history we've already been shown. Still, in a way, having such inconsequential information as his height, weight, and birthday really kind of serves to humanize him in a way - or, er, "Mobianize"? Eh, whatever, you know what I mean.

[veliseraptor]

Hey Lise, I was wondering if you could maybe just give me a quick and dirty synopsis of The Untamed characters? I really like your fics and wanna read them, but I have NO idea who anyone is hahaha

I was gonna like. Link to someone else’s rundown of this, but then I decided it might be fun to write my own, which was a mistake. But I make all kinds of mistakes! So unsurprising.

This is going to, by virtue of being a character overview, contain spoilers, so if you think you’re gonna want to watch and want to avoid spoilers then watch out for that. This is also broken down by sect because that makes it easier.

The degree to which I explain the plot here varies wildly and I’m not actually sure how coherent it is. If you want a more detailed rundown that has pictures and shit and also other information, see here; also some of these characters have more than one name, which I’ve noted where the usage of multiple names is likely to pop up in fic.

This is very much QUICK and DIRTY and NOT COMPREHENSIVE, just to underline that a few times. It’s also show focused rather than novel focused, because that’s most of the canon I’m working with. I have also not translated titles here (Hanguang-jun, Zewu-jun etc.) because they just sound better untranslated.

THE JIANG SECT

Wei Wuxian: Also known as Wei Ying or (if you’re nasty) the Yiling Patriarch. One of the two main characters of the show. He died (killed himself) in disgrace, universally reviled as evil, but it’s okay, he got better. Or rather, his soul got swapped into the body of a man named Mo Xuanyu, whose life really sucked and who almost never gets acknowledged by the narrative. Sunshine boy on the outside, but it’s complicated. 

Sort of invented necromancy, or at least perfected it. Will kill you with his magic ghost flute, but mostly only if you deserve it. Mostly. Self-sacrificing to a fault due to basement level self-worth and a tendency to believe that he can handle things other people can’t. Swapped out his ability to do magic to keep his brother alive via nonconsensual surgery. This had a lot of somewhat unexpected consequences, it turns out. Got thrown into a very bad place called the Burial Mounds and came out with new powers and a whole new pile of trauma.

Rescues the Wen remnants from being killed in a prison camp after the war against the Wen Sect; this is not a popular move. Founds a commune with them in the aforementioned Burial Grounds. Also raises Wen Ning from the not-dead. 

Adopted older brother (ish) to Jiang Cheng and younger brother to Jiang Yanli, adopted father to Lan Sizhui, eventual husband to Lan Wangji (at least according to novel canon and many, many post-canon fics).

Jiang Cheng: Also known as Jiang Wanyin, but only if he’s being a little bitch. He technically has a title (Sandu Shengshou) but I don’t remember if it’s ever actually used in the show. The youngest of the triad of Yunmeng Siblings (Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli), and possibly the most dysfunctional. Expresses all his feelings as anger, and he has a lot of feelings. Abandonment issues and inferiority complex the size of the lake that he grew up on. His entire family died and it fucked him up pretty bad, along with all the other terrible shit that happened. 100% Slytherin especially in terms of “protect my own people first and probably nobody else second.” 

Adopted younger brother to Wei Wuxian, biological younger brother to Jiang Yanli. Uncle to Jin Ling (see below). 

Jiang Yanli: I’ll take “oldest daughter who doubled as parent figure” for 500, Alex. Jiang Yanli is relatively quiet and mild-mannered but she loves her brothers very much and will throw down for them in a pinch. Tends to wilt in the face of people treating her poorly; not very good at standing up for herself. A professional at taking care of other people and not herself (Wei Wuxian and she have this in common!). She dies and it really does a number on her siblings.

Oldest sister of Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, wife of Jin Zixuan, mother of Jin Ling.

Jiang Fengmian & Yu Ziyuan: Parents of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng and source of the above’s dysfunction, in a lot of ways. Jiang Fengmian plays favorites (with his adopted son Wei Wuxian) and takes out his feelings about his wife (complicated) by ignoring Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli. Madame Yu is straight up abusive; physically of Wei Wuxian, emotionally of everyone else. In her first appearance she walks into dinner and specifically targets everyone’s weak spots, demolishing three children emotionally in about two minutes, then leaves.

This family! It’s a disaster.

THE LAN SECT

Lan Wangji: Also known as Lan Zhan or Hanguang-jun. The other main character. Has a reputation for being very upright and righteous and rule-abiding; is that, sort of, but also kind of a socially awkward, deeply lonely boy who is trying to be a good person and thinks he can get there by following the right rules. Eventually figures out that’s not how it works. Doesn’t make friends easily but when he loves someone it is with all 500% of his heart. 

His circle of people is very small, though. It’s kind of just two: his brother and Wei Wuxian. That’s all! Lan Wangji could use some friends, maybe.

He’s good! Also learns to rebel when appropriate, and “appropriate” especially involves things having to do with Wei Wuxian, for whom he will do just about anything, at least after he comes back from the dead. Before that it’s a little harder. 

Younger brother of Lan Xichen, nephew of Lan Qiren, adopted father of Lan Sizhui, eventual husband to Wei Wuxian (see above).

Lan Xichen: Also known as Zewu-jun. He does have a birth name (everyone does!) but it doesn’t get used in canon. Also parented his younger brother (there’s a lot of sibling parents in this show!). Is the peacemaker, does not like conflict, diplomatic to a fault. Noticed how everyone else is very quick to jump to conclusions and decided he has to take all of the giving of the benefit of the doubt and good faith and “let’s wait and see and not jump to murder” because no one else is going to.

People in fandom give him a lot of shit for being stupid but he is not! He is just conflict-averse and cautious and inclined to reserve judgment on people. It just turns out that he happens to place his faith in the wrong person, which is to say Jin Guangyao. It does not work out. He ends up getting tricked/manipulated into killing Jin Guangyao by Nie Huaisang, and is about to stay and die with him when Jin Guangyao surprise pushes him away and thus saves his life. 

At least one of the Lan brothers gets a happy ending!

Older brother of Lan Wangji, nephew of Lan Qiren, sworn brother/boyfriend of Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue.

Lan Qiren: Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen’s uncle who essentially raised them due to family dysfunction involving a mother who was basically on house arrest (because she killed someone??? not sure what happened there, information minimal) and their father seems to have been absent, and both died before series start. Rigid and hidebound, very much not a Wei Wuxian fan, very strict with both the Lan brothers and sometimes that involves corporal punishment and yelling.

There are no good parents or parent figures in this series.

Uncle to Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen.

Lan Sizhui: Also known as A-Yuan / Wen Yuan. Originally a Wen kid, first adopted by Wei Wuxian when he founded the commune with the Wen remnants, then adopted by Lan Wangji when everyone in his family was killed and also Wei Wuxian. Grew up a Lan with no memory of his past. Lan Sizhui has two dads.

Cousin/brother (??) to Wen Ning and Wen Qing, adopted son of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.

Lan Jingyi: Sassmaster extraordinaire; the Lan kid who gets to say everything the rest of the Lans are holding back. Of the younger generation quartet formed by him, Lan Sizhui, Ouyang Zizhen, and Jin Ling. If a Lan kid in a scene is sassing someone, it’s Jingyi.

THE NIE SECT

Nie Mingjue: Also known as Chifeng-zun. Very strong opinions about right and wrong with not a whole lot of room for nuance. Formidable warrior. Anger issues, also daddy issues but we don’t get into those as much. Not exactly the friendliest of fellows but it’s not completely his fault, he’s being gradually poisoned by the malevolence of his own weapon. It’s a thing. Dies as a result of being poisoned by evil music courtesy of Jin Guangyao.

Sworn brother/boyfriend to Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Older brother of Nie Huaisang.

Nie Huaisang: Mastermind (sort of) of questionable morality, sometimes in order to get revenge for the murder of your older brother you have to wait ten years while building up a reputation as someone utterly useless, then get your old best friend resurrected as part of a series of dominoes meant to demolish your brother’s murderer’s entire life and reputation. Loves art and fans, not a fan of losing his mind to violent sabers as is traditional for the Nie Sect. Smarter than he wants you to think he is, and also just really good at winging it.

Younger brother of Nie Mingjue.

THE JIN SECT

Jin Guangshan: The actual worst. Sect Leader for the first half of the show. Should’ve been kicked down several sets of stairs; the world would’ve been a better place.

Father of Jin Zixuan, Jin Guangyao, Mo Xuanyu, and too many other bastards to list. Possibly Jin Zixun? I’m not clear on that.

Jin Zixuan: Disaster Straight. He comes off as aloof and arrogant but partly this is because he’s just really bad at interacting with people and incredibly awkward. Eventually marries Jiang Yanli after failing to express his feelings for 26 episodes. Shortly thereafter ends up dying when he’s fisted by Wen Ning (through the chest, you filthy animal). 

Husband of Jiang Yanli, father of Jin Ling.

Jin Zixun: The other actual worst. When Jin Zixun is having fun no one else is, and when Jin Zixun is not having fun no one else is either. Just generally a tool. As far as I can tell has no redeeming qualities. His ambush of Wei Wuxian provokes the rolling disaster that results ultimately in the deaths of (in order) Jin Zixuan, Wen Qing, Jiang Yanli, and Wei Wuxian. 

Cousin of Jin Zixuan.

Jin Guangyao: Also known as Meng Yao and Lianfang-zun, the former before he gets promoted by his absolute bastard of a dad. He’s complicated! A good boy, also responsible for a lot of the bad things that happen, with varying degrees of culpability depending on who you ask. Son of a (in everyone’s words, ever) prostitute, and he’s really got a problem with it. Made some valid points but also got possibly too much revenge on people who hurt him, including some preemptive revenge on people who might have. Does a lot of murder but mostly via other people or evil music. Gets kicked down the stairs twice, which if you ask me is a pretty good reason to be kinda worked up about things.

His hat is very silly and I will not pretend otherwise.

Dies at the end and it’s real sad, if you ask me. Incredibly gay for Lan Xichen, and who can blame him? 

Son of Jin Guangshan, half brother of Jin Zixuan, sworn brother/boyfriend of Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. 

Jin Ling: Part of the quartet of juniors including Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, and Ouyang Zizhen. A mess of a child. (Half)-raised by Jiang Cheng and it shows. Spoiled brat but also just like. Brimming with loneliness and desperation for someone’s approval. 

Son of Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, grandson of Jin Guangshan, nephew of Jiang Cheng and Jin Guangyao (and Wei Wuxian, and Mo Xuanyu, and too many other bastards to name, he’s got a lot of uncles). 

Mianmian / Luo Qingyang: Mostly known as Mianmian, which is her nickname. She’s technically a servant but Jin Zixuan is her best friend. Ditches the Jin Sect when they start being jackasses about Wei Wuxian in a seriously epic mic drop moment. Actually lives to the end of the show which makes one female character!

THE WEN SECT

Wen Ruohan: The first Big Bad of the show. Pursuing world domination by the power of the Yin Iron, aka evil metal that lets you control corpses. It doesn’t go well for him. 

Dies at the hands of Jin Guangyao - going, at the time, by Meng Yao.

Father of Wen Xu and Wen Chao.

Wen Xu: The oldest son of Wen Ruohan; he barely appears but he does exist. Or did, he doesn’t make it very long.

Wen Chao: Absolute worm of a human being. Like Draco Malfoy in early Harry Potter, but with more killing people. Dies an absolutely horrifying death courtesy of Wei Wuxian, but he did throw Wei Wuxian into a place he was supposed to horribly die in, so I don’t feel that bad for him. 

Younger son of Wen Ruohan.

Wen Qing: Incredibly gifted physician, can probably fix anything, including transferring a golden core from one person to another which no one has ever done before. (That’s how Wei Wuxian’s ended up in Jiang Cheng.) Starts out as determinedly loyal to Wen Ruohan basically to protect Wen Ning and keep him safe, but keeps ending up helping our protagonists basically against her better judgment. This does not earn her any points with the Wens, and being a Wen does not earn her any points with anyone else. 

Ends up getting swept up by Wei Wuxian when he finds her destitute in the street and they charge off to save her brother together. Subsequently lives in the Burial Mounds commune up until things go to shit and she goes to give herself up with Wen Ning in the hopes of mitigating damage after Jin Zixuan dies. She is executed.

Has a non-thing with Jiang Cheng because they’re very alike in ways that mean that, under the circumstances, they keep missing each other.

Older sister of Wen Ning, sister/cousin (??) of Lan Sizhui, adopted older sister of Wei Wuxian, sort of.

Wen Ning: Also known as Wen Qionglin, but like, once in canon. So you probably won’t see it much. Neither he nor his sister are actually related to Wen Ruohan - they’re from a branch of the family but serve him. Wen Ning doesn’t get to have a lot of nice things. He saves Wei Wuxian’s life (after Wei Wuxian saves his), and (along with Wen Qing) helps get Jiang Cheng out when he was captured by the Wens and protects Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli after their family and sect are killed. 

After the Sunshot Campaign he is killed by Jin cultivators (or almost, it’s complicated) but brought back to unlife by Wei Wuxian. Unfortunately this makes him vulnerable to control to make him do things like, say, kill Jin Zixuan and Jin Zixun. He and Wen Qing go to be presumably executed in an attempt to mitigate the damage to Wei Wuxian/maybe?? save his life; Wen Ning gets kept in a dungeon for sixteen years and comes back when Wei Wuxian does. 

Younger brother of Wen Qing. brother/cousin (??) of Lan Sizhui, adopted younger brother of Wei Wuxian, sort of.

Wen Zhuliu: Mysterious assassin/bodyguard of the Wens, we know almost nothing about his backstory save that he owes them some kind of debt and he and Yu Ziyuan seem to have some kind of history. The main thing is that he’s capable of destroying the golden core of cultivators, aka rendering them an ordinary person devoid of special powers, forever. Gets killed by Jiang Cheng, whose golden core he destroyed. 

Various Wen Remnants: You don’t get a lot of individual characterization from these folks - basically they are the remains of the Wen Sect after the Wen Sect is defeated in the war (called the Sunshot Campaign) that forms the arc of the first part of the show. Pretty much everyone wants them dead. Wei Wuxian rescues them and takes them off to the Burial Mounds, where no one else wants to go, and builds a commune with them, which works for a while until it doesn’t anymore.

They all die. It’s bad.

YI CITY CREW

These got long because I felt like I had to explain more about plot stuff.

Xue Yang: The gremlin! Will cheerfully murder just about anyone at the drop of a hat, he doesn’t really need a reason. Driven initially by a revenge quest for the guy who crushed his finger when he was seven; he kills his whole family, which is a reasonable response when you think of your own life as worth significantly more than anyone else’s. Subsequently and also during fixated on Xiao Xingchen. Kind of a genius?? but he’s pretty low key about it.

Really involved with the plot in a lot of weird ways. Introduced Wen Ruohan to the Yin Iron and taught him how it functioned-ish, worked with Jin Guangyao for a while on necromancy stuff, after the inevitable betrayal ended up getting picked up by a now blind Xiao Xingchen (more on that later) and a-Qing, and lived with them in domestic semi-bliss for three years while also tricking Xiao Xingchen into murdering a lot of people, up to and including his sort-of-ex-boyfriend Song Lan. Turned Song Lan into a zombie, sort of. Fell apart when Xiao Xingchen died (killed himself, on account of Xue Yang demolishing his entire life, whoops) and spent the next decade or so trying to bring him back from the dead.

Dies messily, as you might guess, and I’m still sad about it.

Xiao Xingchen: Grew up on a secret mountain isolated from the rest of society, came down from the secret mountain to help make the world a better place, it really does not work out for him. Travels around for a while being best friends/boyfriends with Song Lan, getting poetry written about him; unfortunately then he and Xue Yang run into each other which is widely regarded as a bad move. Things get messy, Xiao Xingchen ends up with his eyes in Song Lan’s head and blind, he adopts a teenage con artist (see below) and rescues Xue Yang (who he doesn’t know is Xue Yang). 

Three years of domestic bliss (sort of) ensue, with the wrinkle that while Xiao Xingchen’s sword Shuanghua can sense corpses so he can still hunt things, it has a glitch where sometimes the corpses it senses are in fact living people that Xue Yang has poisoned and cut out their tongues. Whoops. 

After he kills Song Lan (whoops), Xiao Xingchen finds out from a-Qing who he’s been living with and, uh, is upset about it. Xue Yang drops the bomb of “oh yeah so you’ve been killing people this whole time and also! yeah! killed Song Lan too! eyyyy” upon which Xiao Xingchen, his entire world wrecked, kills himself and shatters his soul.

He ends the series basically fragments of soul in a little pouch being carried around by Song Lan. When I put it that way it sounds kinda funny but it’s really not.

A-Qing: Teenage con-artist who pretends to be blind and adopts Xiao Xingchen after stealing his money (he notices, but he also just gives it to her). Knew Xue Yang was bad news but didn’t know how bad. Smart cookie. Xue Yang blinds her and cuts out her tongue (he just loves doing that) after she tells on him to Xiao Xingchen; she gets her revenge by leading Wei Wuxian & co. to figuring out what’s going on, and ultimately enabling the first mortal-wounding of Xue Yang. 

Unfortunately, also dies.

Song Lan: Also known as Song Zichen, rarely. A Daoist priest (I think that’s right?) and “rogue cultivator” (in the sense that he’s not affiliated with any sect). He is definitely affiliated with Xiao Xingchen. “Affiliated with.”

Ends up getting caught in the vortex of Xue Yang when his entire temple-family is killed and he’s blinded; says some harsh things and a guilty Xiao Xingchen trades out his eyes to pay him back for being the cause of Xue Yang targeting his temple, then vanishes. Song Lan spends the next long time trying to track him down, eventually finds him in mid-domestic bliss (sort of) with Xue Yang (yikes), promptly attempts to kill Xue Yang, ends up getting his tongue cut out and himself corpse-poisoned and killed by Xiao Xingchen, who thinks he is a random evil corpse instead of his best friend/ex-boyfriend. Xue Yang turns him into a zombie controlled by him. He gets better (from the control, he’s still a zombie).

Literally the only one of the Yi City Crew to make it out alive and he’s not technically alive.

MISCELLANEOUS OTHERS

Ouyang Zizhen: Part of the juniors quartet with Jin Ling, Lan Sizhui, and Lan Jingyi. A budding romantic. Very good, has the misfortune of having Sect Leader Ouyang as a dad, but at least it’s not Sect Leader Yao (see below).

Su She: Due to a confluence of factors having to do with jealousy but also class/rigid hierarchy issues, ends up as Jin Guangyao’s right hand henchman. He’s very loyal when you’re actually nice to him. Really doesn’t like Lan Wangji. 

Sect Leader Yao: Mostly just there to have really bad opinions all of the time.

[naesoonghonors]

Suspiria, a young woman's bad dream

Suspiria (1977)

Well, this movie was not what I thought it was going to be, but perhaps that’s my fault for being so ignorant of 1970’s Italian (surrealist?) Horror. It is a completely different language film language from even the previously reviewed ‘Diabolique’. But the unique treat of this stylish women centered horror is worth being thrown for a loop.

This movie kicks off with some very obvious symbolism of our young heroine Suzy in a white dress following in the footsteps of a bright red dressed woman. Suzy unaware of the foreshadowed danger continues making her way through German airport where she has arrived to attend a prestigious dance academy, Freiburg Dance Academy. In the first oddity of the movie Suzy hails a cab. She asks the driver, male, to get out and help her with her two tiny bags in the pouring rain. And the most surprising thing to the room I was watching with was that he didn’t. She honest to god only had two tiny bags but was is odder for her to ask considering the circumstances or for the man to ignore her asking completely. So the main character is set up with a bit of a … hostile? Perhaps uncaring? Environment. But what this reads in retrospect is that Suzy will have to quickly learn to be independent and unafraid to do what she needs to. Regardless Suzy makes it to her destination but as she comes to the door a woman rushes out disturbed, muttering, and then running away into the night. Suzy is… unbothered by this for the most part. She remarks on its oddness but does not act on the woman in any way. So Suzy goes up to the door and asks to be let in via the intercom system but is denied. So she decides to leave and come back in the morning.

The camera decides instead to follow the fleeing Patricia as she stays the night with a friend. She is followed and haunted by an unknown apparition. It reaches to grab her from outside the window with large masculine looking hands. Odd considering we know this is sent to kill her by a seemingly all female coven. But perhaps that’s purposeful. The witches are only known to be using witchcraft through subtle machinations. While never revealed the coven does keep around a couple men in laborer roles to maintain the estate. This may be an illustration of their backwards and ironic dominance of men. While most witch stories have witches in some sense serving under the devil, the ancient Mother Susipiriorum and her two sisters seem to be their own forces of nature. The school having a large portion of male staff is supposed to be odd to the viewer. Even how housework as depicted by these men would usually be a role assumed by women. Like a certain male student is worried about getting home in time for supper. He has to be loyal to the school as he is unable to pay their full tuition, so he became the schools errand boy. They even degrade the handyman saying that the girls can say whatever they please about him because he doesn’t speak English. Instead of ugly Romanian man instead make him a buxom Russian maid and this dialogue becomes much more normalized, particularly for the time.

Despite the girl power narrative of these strong murderous witches oppressing men, I say sarcastically, the coven is very much a self-serving organization. Any possibility of a student, no matter their gender, finding out about their coven is in instant danger for horrific murder. Their ultra-violence isn’t even used in a spell or ritual sense, they just seem willing to murder women and men alike for any reason they deem worthy. They have a blind man killed by his own service dog for his dog biting a little boy one of the head mistresses was fond of. Oh yeah, I hadn’t mentioned yet but on of the women in charge of the school keeps around a little Victorian child she calls her nephew almost like a pet. Overall this narrative has a very dream like feel makes intent difficult to follow.

Back to the plot at large Suzy comes in the next day to begin her time at the academy, and every character to greet her is sure to first mention how beautiful Suzy is. Of course in a performing art like Ballet not looking hideous could be seen as part of the job but the why not compliment her body? As a ballerina that is what would be more focused on. But in 1970’s Germany, and under the directorial lead of a 1970’s Italian man, it is a fit for the time. Beautiful comes to be synonymous with acceptable when relating to women. When Patricia is kicked out of the academy/ murdered She is spoken very ill of by staff and fellow dancer alike. Almost immediately these women are willing to turn against their own because they were perceived of as wrong. Even though Patricia did nothing wrong besides get caught spying of the murderous coven hiding in her dance school. Women throughout history have had very polarizing view thrust upon them. Very infrequently even outside of film is an ‘okay’ woman accepted. They must be poised, graceful, or the very best to be considered. Otherwise they can quickly become cast out as social pariahs just as Patricia instantly was. So Patricia is thrown under the bus by her fellow woman in order to keep their nefarious, world controlling ways secret.

The witch’s coven seems to thrive with the easily manipulated dance students living above them. They do however seem completely unwilling to add more to their coven. Suzy is descried as ‘strong willed’ but framed as that is thought of as a negative thing. These witches and their craft are framed as negative and not as a tool for women but as evil. Suzy later in the movie visits a professor of the occult. He claims witches can only cause harm and sickness, only working to accumulate personal wealth and power. He also contradicts himself and claims witchcraft is just mental illness. Okay, sure, lets ignore all the supernatural murders. Only working to accumulate wealth and power? So what that’s what men do every day. I would love to hear this professor explain how using magic to murder people you don’t like is any morally different from what the rich and wealthy do every day. But I guess when women do it it’s strange and unnatural as opposed to the very natural concept of a ruling elite class of families controlling the world already. But what is most telling of the times is the doctors most harshly delivered line that these women do not giving life only death. Because what else can women do besides give birth in order to not be compared to literal murder witches.

This movies plot is for the most part irrelevant. But Suzy finds the witch coven using her wit and strong will the witches attempted to suppress in her. But the ultimate outcome I took from this film was the need of young women to question and even break old norms. As Suzy sets the house ablaze and escapes, I see the metaphorical winds of change ushering her out of the building that dared to attempt to keep her down. The final famous shot of Suzy is that of her walking away from the burning academy smiling. Not in a crazed grimace but a knowing smile. Suzy knows she has destroyed this terrible institution and she will be able to move past this terrible dream. She does not need these outdated traditions that only manifest to hold her back or attempt to suppress her will and character.

[iamnathannah]

So...I got this review on ff-net for "Longing" this morning. Usually I love reviews because they give me encouragement...this ain't one of them, though.

If you don't want to read through it, in summary...

"Great story, but it seems like you hate men and the direction of society. Why isn't Dean just the bland fella presented in the show? Why is he violent and a cheating asshole who's rich; that's Logan y'know? Love the story as I said and Madeline and Louise are great, but I'm done with it."

Yeah, a lot to unpack here if you're not in the GG fandom like I've been since near the beginning, along with the basic concept of fanfiction.

"It's a well-written story with good characterisation of Rory and Paris but...there's a lot of anger in it."

When I started the story in 2003, the sky was the limit, and Paris and Rory were on their way to great lives bereft of any issues with men and so much potential for women in the world. Fast-forward to 2019...where we have a lying cheat of an asshole in the White House, merely disagreeing with a man is enough to bury your Twitter mentions in hate, and LGBTQ+ rights are being attacked at every turn.

Then we have the aftermath of AYITL, which dynamited Rory's future into being completely dependent on men (aka Logan), took away her entire drive and reason for being, and left her as a homewrecker having a kid she probably never wanted. And Paris is in a loveless marriage with a completely underwritten Doyle whose character traits went from 'being a loving and supporting boyfriend to a neurotic Jewish girl with the entire world upon her shoulders' to 'wink-wink Danny Strong writes Empire and Oscar-winners; Doyle can't raise kids let's just write that Doyle's that now since we threw out the Doyle notebook in our post-S6 burning of all our character notes'.

Yeah, over sixteen years, you tend to write for your reality, and the reality right now? Totally sucks.

"Some of it seems to be directed at society, some of it at the show, with a disproportionate amount of it being taken out on mostly male characters who bear only a passing resemblance to their on screen portrayal..."

Once again...AYITL hasn't aged well. Society hates journalists. It hates driven women (see my last post taking down that asshole who hates Brie Larson). Males are pretty damned well responsible for most of it. And I haven't had the best male figures of my life and have been mostly around women. I'm probably not going to write a positive view of some men; it's bias, and I own up to it here.

And yeah, my men don't match up to how they are on screen. Because, fanfiction is...

'Fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.'

Speaking of which...

"...Which seems to have got worse as I suspect you liked the show less and less."

You're reading my story. A Gilmore Girls fanfiction. My Twitter bio declares that I've loved it a decade and a half before the Gilmore Guys started their podcast. A show where I literally follow nearly main actor on the series into every future project they've had and watched loyally, for the most part. I buy every movie the girls have been in. Fanfiction isn't defined as 'a random person writing hate screeds against a particular TV series, movie, etc.'. You're not going to ever see me write even a drabble about how much Kevin Can Wait should be called Kevin Can Burn In Hell Because He's a Ghoulish Sexist Fuckface Who Celebrated His Wife's Death To Move On With His Former Hot Wife From Another Show.

Still love Gilmore Girls in full. But being a fan doesn't mean I have to like every single decision the writers and ASP ever made.

That is the fun of fanfiction. If I disagree with canon...I can disregard it, in part, or in full. I have never been able to find a fellow fan that agreed with every plot point the show has ever made. I hope I never will, because that's definitely not why anyone should ever be a fan of the show.

And excuse my language here...but I've written over a MILLION WORDS for this story. 27 chapters have been posted. I have an eventual endgame planned for the story that has been in my mind since the day I posted chapter one. Why the fuck would I write a million words about something I hate?!

"Dean has gone from a good first boyfriend who just wasn't right for Rory long-term to a violent thief who cheated on Rory throughout their relationship and never loved her anyway. And now, incredibly, seems to be just another entitled rich kid? It feels like you really want to bash on Logan but can't find a way to have him in the story, so you've turned Dean into him."

Oh reviewer...dear reviewer...oh, you don't know what you've gotten yourself into.

I have ALWAYS hated Dean. Always. Since January 2001 when I caught up on the backlog of episodes I missed because I only started watching during the two back-to-back night Christmas episodes, the only positive thought I've been able to spare for him was that Jared Padalecki (no attacks on him here, just the character) got a good living playing a completely underwritten bore who has nothing redeeming going on and a backstory that I would call 'existent'.

The show claims he's from the south side of Chicago in a neighborhood near the Dan Ryan that has 5% white people going by the zip code of his mail from there (the show's basic research department blew it there). Most white people from Chicago are in the Gold Coast, the northwest suburbs, or the North Shore. I have been adjacent to the Chicago market my whole life. He's from the North Shore, no question, judging from how his parents seem to have good enough wealth and how every white guy Chicago teenager story is drawn from a kid from the North Shore.

He literally punched Jess out three times!

He made Rory fear violence for merely losing a bracelet he gave her and for being near Tristan for a school function (LOL, Dristan...that burn still causes me to laugh at inappropriate times about how dumb it was, and I'm sure Tristan has it as one of his constant bon mots).

He called her home phone nearly a hundred times a day and drove her to the edge of madness with a 'must watch every day' love of Lord of the Rings that compares unfavorably to my four year-old nephew only loving Frozen, PJ Masks and Daniel Tiger. That isn't anyone any person has to tolerate in a relationship.

Dean’s only reaction to Rory trying to prove a point with her Donna Reed night was just she looked hot and he learned nothing about how women hate being confined to being solely homemakers and sexual receptacles.

He dumped her because she didn’t say “I Love You” like it was the goddamned bonus round in Wheel of Fortune and she didn’t get the solution out before the buzzer.

Dean’s shambles of a gift, that piece of shit car? It almost killed Rory and Jess. It looked like it didn’t have seatbelts. I’m surprised we didn’t get an episode where Dean ended up homeless because Richard sued his cheap ass into the fucking ground.

He decided to make her go back to him in front of the entrance of Chilton, where Rory would have looked like the biggest b***h in history if she didn’t return an ‘I love you’, and goddamned well knew it. Any good person would have done this in fucking private, like a considerate person.

He never respected the Chilton side of her life. At all. If it was up to him, he would’ve made up a bomb threat and had his friend imitate Rory’s voice to get her kicked out of the school she spent her young life trying to get into. If it was up to him, Harvard would have never even been a possibility, and if not for Jess coming in, he would have intimidated her into pushing off her dream entirely to stay in the kitchen.

His origin story was never mentioned outside 'he moved from Chicago and had a girlfriend in the past, Beth'. Fanfiction allows you to examine the holes in stories and go from there, and I just worked with them because the thing with moves to new locales? You can have a brand new image with people, and they will never know what you did in your old place. Judging by his violent/stalkerish tendencies, he has a pretty good case for having Imposter Syndrome that eventually reset itself in the Hollow.

Over time he went from a guy who seemed to like good literature to hyperfocusing on the 'it' media property of the time. Likely he started out liking fine literature, but once he fell in with the imbeciles of his friend group in the Hollow, that proved to be a lie.

He had a thing about being close to Lorelai. So much that around that time, there were so many more people shipping Lorelai/Dean than Rory/Dean as a romantic couple. If not for his later flanderization, that fangroup would still be strong.

HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE!

**HE. CHEATED. ON. HIS. WIFE!

***HE! CHEATED! ON! HIS! WIFE!

****And outside losing his home and some stuff being damaged (rightfully fucking so) by Lindsay, both her and Rory took all the brunt of the damage his wandering dick did between all of them. Lindsay was guilted by her parents for checking out on her marriage and was never heard from again (I assume she's in a convent now because ASP's writing outside of Lorelai and Rory [or Paris, Sookie and Lane on a day she wasn't angry at the world for not pressing her hat right] for women was 'they are the enemy'). Rory had to find her way back to her old self (and she never did going by ending up with Logan). Dean? Welp, good thing "Supernatural" started at that time to save ASP the bother of having to explain what a dumbass Dean was.

*****Justice for Lindsay Lister! I hope she didn't go to a convent, but flipped off her parents, squealed out of town and is killing it in a career where she's respected, with a partner who loves her deeply.

The scene where he cornered Rory into sex in her house and said he didn’t love Lindsay was sexual assault and gaslighting. ASP intended it to be romantic, but instead created a nightmare scene that would be completely passe in a Lifetime movie. Rory’s first time was her being forced to give up her sexual agency for the pleasure of only Dean. And it’s exactly why the Paris/Rory scene I wrote on the yoga mats was intended to be the exact reverse of that trash.

He hoped to get ahead in life on a hockey scholarship. That's...not a life plan. And he paid for it by being stuck doing construction.

He hated Paris. He hated that Rory had her as a friend. He wanted a life with Rory that never involved Paris.

Paris is a strong-ass lady for daring to step to him and lie through her teeth about wanting Jess to stop the Great Stars Hollow Homicide of 2002 By The Coward Dean Forrester from ever being a thing.

LOL Logan is Tristan Lite and always will be.

About ten chapters back I mentioned how the girls consider Logan terrible already from a distance based on the New York media scene. Trust me, he's in this story (he may be a little more in this story later).

"There is a lot to recommend in this, like the slow burn set-up (although you've made up for it since!)..."

#backhandedcompliment (Also, what's to recommend? Love to know what you did like, but you spent all that time saying 'I'm mean to men', so I guess you ran out of time on that)

"...and turning Madeleine and Louise into three-dimensional characters..."

You sent me a flame, but didn't expand on what you loved about this? Thanks for the lack of feedback (and for misspelling Madeline’s name).

"But there are several reasons why it's not been an easy read so I won't be hanging out for an update, I'm afraid."

You basically said that you consider me a man-hater and that because I choose to have the ladies present their views in the story, you don't like that I'm drawing real life into their motives, mores and decisions. And you said I hated the show when most of my friend circle was formed through bonding through it, and we still love it, even if we think Rory needed to do better in life and ASP's writing weakened as each season went on.

I don't need readers like you, seriously. There are many other Rory/Paris stories you can read out there. As I have said in many other flame responses;

I am not the be-all end-all of Paris/Rory fic. PLEASE, read other writers. Enjoy their stuff. But don't whine at me or them because we choose to show that even in fictional worlds, people are against LGBTQ+ issues and people. We're not going to get equality by sugar-coating or whitewashing our way past those issues, and if you can't handle what I consider light attacks against entitled men, you should probably find something else to read.

[notmoreflippingelves]

The Case for Kristoph Gavin as a Shakespearean Tragic Hero/ Anti-villain (Pt 1: Iago, Richard III & Edmund)

So, as I former English major, I’ve been trying to put my finger on why exactly Ace Attorney’s Kristoph Gavin makes such a compelling character. And when I made an allusion to Othello in a Kriswright fic I’m writing, I suddenly came irrevocably to a stunning realization. 

Kristoph Gavin is a fantastic villain, because he was written in the mold of a great Shakespearean antagonist--complex, conflicted, and dripping in delicious ambiguity. Not only that but there are some pretty AMAZING parallels between character motivations and arcs of some of the most memorable Shakespearean villains/tragic heroes and Kristoph. 

(I’ve  decided to break the analysis into two parts, cause this part alone is WAY too long (So long I didn’t even get to all of my feelings about Kris as Brutus from Julius Caesar yet..)This part is for Iago, Richard III & Edmund the Bastard,  the three characters who are constantly vying with each other for the title of “most EVUL character in  all of Shakespeare.” Whereas in Part 2, I plan to focus on the more sympathetic antagonists ( including BRUTUS! I Can’t wait! It’s my favorite set of parallels. ) 

But enough intro, let’s jump into some analysis. (YAY!!!) I’m putting this under the cut, because  as I said it’s LONG.

Kristoph as Iago-- Okay, let’s tackle the giant elephant in the room first, shall we? The parallels are so glaring . (This parallel is kind of boring compared to the other two cause it’s so obvious. But it’s important to cover anyway.)

So we have Kristoph and we have Othello’s Iago. Two-faced “Big Bad friends” driven by envy to ruin another’s life.  One slightly surprising l thing that I’d  forgotten at first is that one of Iago’s proposed motivations is--like Kristoph’s-- thwarted professional ambition. Like Kristoph with the Gramarye case, Iago loses out on a job opportunity and decides to ruin the lives of those who passed him over.

 There’s also the VERY common scholarly interpretation that Iago is also driven at least in part by toxic love of/ excessive lust for Othello (It’s especially blatant in the Kenneth Branagh’s portrayal). One can definitely see a similar interpretation of Kristoph’s “friendship” with Phoenix--either  in a “if I can’t have you, no one will” way or  in “I will deliberately and methodically destroy everything you love until I’m the only the only thing left. Then, you’ll have to choose me” way. 

But there’s also hints that Iago could have mixed motives, completely different motives, or even no motive  at all. Now who does that remind me of? Kristoph “you’ll never break my five black psyche-locks”--Gavin. 

“Determined to be a villain”--Kristoph, Richard, and Edmund intro - When it comes to their motivations,  King Lear’s Edmund and Richard III are remarkably similar characters to each other  in terms of their motivations--even if their methods/results differ somewhat. So I’m gonna talk about their motivations together for a bit  before I talk about Kristoph parallels in terms of individual character arcs. 

Both  King Lear’s Edmund and Richard III are victims of a world that they believe had left them no other choice but villainy (Edmund because he was born illegitimately and Richard because he was born with multiple physical deformities)  When Richard III says that great line in his opening soliloquy  “I am determined to prove a villain,” he doesn’t mean  “I’m so excited about the fun evil I’m gonna do. Yay! YOLO.” (At least, he doesn’t mean ONLY that.)

“Determined” is actually part of  the verb in this sentence, not the adjective.If you tweak the  sentence structure to match how we’d express this in 21st century English, you can see that Richard is actually referring to himself as a passive subject: “I have been determined a villain by _______.” There’s an invisible indirect object there--the one that Richard believes has forced his hand: fate, his birth, his looks, divine judgement, or something else entirely. (Edmund also has a very similar monologue about how “nature” has made him a villain because of the circumstances of his birth but not gonna dive too deeply into that rn.)

Okay, so during that time and place, illegitimate children and those w/ physical disabilities thought they had little control over free will/personal morality. Makes sense. But how does Kristoph come into this? 

Well, he might if he had a serious mental illness instead. I have seen plausible cases being made for a Kristoph with PTSD (due to unexplained trauma suggested by his black psyche locks), anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, OCD, and/or paranoia. Any one of these could make someone believe that the dice are stacked against them and that the only way to enjoy success/happiness is to take drastic action to ensure it. 

Of course, none of the above excuses or justifies any of what Richard, Edmund, or Kristoph do in their respective arcs. It just makes it easier to understand why they might do those things.

Now we’re gonna look at Richard and Edmund respectively and compare their specific parallels with Kristoph. 

Kristoph as Richard the III:

 So the most obvious parallel between Richard and Kristoph is a visual one. During his final break down, Kristoph hunches over in a way reminscient of someone--who like Richard--has  scoliosis. There’s also the creepy spasm on his face when he loses his cool, which does give him a very Richard-esque look. 

In terms of parallels in their actual arcs, Kristoph may not have murdered his two nephews  like tricky King Dicky does but his poisoning of Vera Misham does show that he--like Richard-- is willing to hurt a child if said child threatens his ambition. 

 And one more little thing: Kristoph like Richard (and also like Edmund who’ll we will get to in a second) does have a magnetic personality which he uses to charm the pants off his would-be enemies. 

The biggest example of that is when he is somehow able to convince Lady Anne to marry him- while standing next to the body of her of her dead father-in--law whom Richard himself killed alongside her husband too! 

Kristoph may have not done anything quite that twisted, but “befriending” a man whose life he personally ruined is definitely Richard III-esque--especially if one believes that Kristoph also has a sexual/romantic interest in Phoenix and/or that their “friendship”  had a physical, non-platonic component to it. 

Kristoph as Edmund the Bastard:

And now for the grand finale. Edmund you magnificent bastard (literally as well as figuratively). I cannot believe I nearly missed this particular parallel. It’s just... stunning.  

So, the main b-plot of King Lear involves the rivalry between two brothers--Edgar the legitimate son and Edmund the other one. Edgar is impulsive and hot-headed with a insightful, sometimes caustic sense of humor, whereas Edgar is cold, collected and quietly compelling.  (Does this remind y’all of a certain pair of lawyer siblings yet? Hmm... Just wait.)

Just like in AJ, the conflict between the brothers in Lear reaches a breaking point due to...get this.. a forged document. (Le gasp! Is it really so? What a freaky coincidence. Yeah that was my thought too!) 

So, Edmund writes a fake letter from “his brother” that alleges he’s plotting to overthrow their father and then hands the letter over to dear old Dad who exiles Edgar which kicks off the plot. 

But wait, you say? Phoenix was the one Kristoph ruined w/ the forged document, not Klavier, and you’d be right about that mostly. If you actually look at the timeline carefully, you’ll see that Kristoph ordering the forgery pre-dates his being fired as  Zak Gramarye’s  attorney. And as others have pointed out , there’s only one reason why he might do that.  

Kristoph was planning to use the fake diary page himself in court and present “indisputably compelling” fake evidence to get his client off. He was gonna use this forgery against his own brother, just to ensure he got what he wanted. Just like Edmund... (*mind blown*)

It’s only after he’s fired as Zak’s lawyer that Kristoph switches his animosity to Phoenix, setting him up to take the fall, because a Gavin court victory is still more valuable than that of a nobody--even if the wrong Gavin has to win the day. 

So yeah...that’s all she wrote so far. Hopefully, I’ll be able to pull my Claudius and Brutus thoughts together soon for a follow up.