#the longest fic (time wise) i have ever written-

[teejaystumbles]

Against all odds (part 8)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7

(Whenever I put this on AO3 it will probably be all one chapter and the longest single chapter fic I've ever written lol) (continues straight after Part 7)

Shame the stranger won’t want to visit the White Horse again any time soon, he thinks as he changes into his sleep clothes. It’s still a decent pub even if Hob heard when he last visited that they want to tear the place down for new buildings. It’s a shame, truly. Hob likes the old Inn. It’s one of the few constants in his life, the most important right after his stranger.

He lies down with a sigh and stares at the ceiling, trying to recall how the place has changed through time. He falls asleep before he can reach the 15th century.

--

Hob dreams again of the White Horse. It is 1389 and he is sitting and drinking with his mates of old, joking about Death being stupid.

A man clad all in black with a face as white as the moon steps silently up to their table. Hob’s mates ask him who he is but the man stays silent and doesn’t acknowledge them, his pitch-black eyes fixed on Hob. Hob stares. He knows him. Would know him anywhere. This is his friend, who he’s been waiting for for a very, very long time.

He ignores the others and they fade into obscurity. He says, awe and wonder clear in his voice and face, “You came.”

“We have an appointment, Hob Gadling. Of course I came.”

“But you didn’t- you didn’t want to meet…here. Any more. Am I wrong?” Hob feels confused. He knows what he’s saying is right, but it doesn’t make any sense, here and now where he has never met this man before. The stranger inclines his head.

“In your dreams I do not feel hesitant to visit this place. It is yours, and therefore a pleasant space to be in.”

Hob frowns.

“Mine? This is your place, my friend. Our place.”

“No. This is your dream of the White Horse Inn, Hob, and every human’s who has lived and visited it. But yours especially. It is not mine,” his friend says almost wistfully, “Neither here, nor in the Waking.”

“Then I'll find us a new place, or I'll build one!” Hob exclaims and jumps up. “A new Inn. One where you'll feel comfortable, a bright place, with a garden and a tree out front and sunny spots to sit and talk, or be quiet. Somewhere that is ours, yours and mine.”

“You would? For me?”

“Aye. I would do anything for you, my friend. My lord.”

Hob tastes the unfamiliar title on his tongue, repeats it again and finds it to feel perfectly right for his stranger, especially when he sees the sparkle in the man's eyes at being addressed as such. “My lord…” The words Hob knows he had been tempted to say on this day in 1389 roll out of him like a rushing river he cannot stop- 

“I’d swear fealty to you, if you’d accept it, and call you my liege. My king,” and he sinks to one knee before the one who rules him.

--

Dream gasps as Hob’s words hit him with the force of a wave crashing into him. He vibrates with ambiguous emotion as Hob smoothly sinks to one knee before him, brown doe eyes looking up at Dream with pure honesty and - love. It’s clearly love that’s shining out of Hob’s eyes and Dream feels the flames at his mantle’s hem lick higher and higher.

What is this human doing, offering him first his blood and now his fealty?

“Oh. Hob,” he rasps, aghast. He doesn’t know what to say. He accepted the first offering. Would it be wise to decline the second? There is magic in the number Three, if he is not careful this will turn into a dangerous affair indeed. If this continues Hob Gadling could be bound to him forever. Excitement rushes through him at the thought.

His.

Someone who'd willingly be Dream’s!

He cannot do this. He mustn’t. Hob may love him, or a version of him he thinks he knows, but Hob is someone who needs to be his own man. Dream cannot imagine him as a vassal, a servant, of anybody, least of all Dream’s.

He takes a step closer and puts a hand on Hob’s head. The man gazes hopefully up at him, a smile on his face. Dream feels his chest tighten.

“You honour me, old friend. Yet I would not rob you of your freedom. You are, and should always be, your own lord and master, subservient to none. I do not wish to be your king.”

Hob’s face falls for a moment and Dream prepares himself for Hob’s disappointment. Then the man at his feet suddenly smiles again and grabs Dream’s hand, cradling it gently before laying a kiss on it.

“Shame. I think it’s too late for you to refuse, my lord, as I have already made my choice. You need not acknowledge me as yours, I will still fight for you and defend you if you are in need. If not a servant, then I am your loyal ally, and I will still offer you anything that is mine.”

Dream shivers and gapes at Hob, who winks cheekily at him and kisses Dream’s hand again. Hastily Dream takes a step back and cradles his hand against his chest.

“You do not know what you promise, Hob. You have to be careful-”

“Careful? Hah!” Hob barks a laugh and gets up from the floor. He claps Dream on the shoulder as if they’ve always been in the habit of touching each other so casually and Dream flinches, stunned.

“Sorry to say this, old friend, but when it comes to you I have never been very careful. Don’t think I can start now.”

Hob shrugs and turns to the table to grab a tankard of ale and a glass of red wine, strangely modern in the mediaeval surroundings of the old tavern, and thrusts it into Dream’s hand. Then Hob toasts him with another wink.

“To our long and lasting friendship, my lord. My friend.”

Dream, perplexed, raises his glass in turn and they both drink. Hob grins happily at him and Dream feels his cheeks flush. He vanishes the wine with a frustrated gesture. Leave it to Hob Gadling to stump him and make him accept a second gift despite himself. He needs to think about this.

He murmurs, “This dream is over,” and leaves Hob to his sleep.

--

Hob wakes up with the feeling of having dreamt something nice, but he can't remember more than that he was in the old White Horse. Snatches of a conversation, of making a toast, come back to him, but he doesn't know who he was even talking to. No matter. It's still better than no dreams at all. He feels much more rested after sleeping since the dreams returned. Seems like his brain is very grateful.

He gets up and throws a glance over at his desk. The journal is gone. Hob blinks. Then he grins and goes to get ready for his day.

His stranger has taken the book! Now it’s just waiting for him to return it. Oh, and come up with a new place to meet, he supposes, while he shaves and slicks his hair back for another day at the agency. Hob sighs. He really needs to get another life. He’s sick and tired of his job and this look. He likes his flat but now that his stranger and him have a new way to communicate, and his friend has no interest in entering the White Horse any time soon, maybe Hob can just up and move to another town for a bit.

He finishes his routine and goes to put the kettle on. He hasn’t taken a holiday in a while. Maybe it’s time for a break at least, if not a reinvention of Hob Gadling. He can come up with what to do next and focus on his stranger. He seems to desperately need the company of a friend, even if he won’t say it outright, and Hob wants to be that friend. 

After breakfast Hob drives to work to finish up some business before he calls in some time off for a family emergency. ‘Against all odds’ plays on the radio and Hob sighs. He listens for a while as his Porsche crawls through London traffic, humiliated by the memory of putting these lyrics down to express his feelings in that first journal entry addressed to his friend. He switches stations and lands on the other extreme - Kylie’s ‘I should be so lucky’ cheerfully hits him right in the heart again. “It's a crazy situation, You always keep me waiting, Because it's only make believe, And I would come a-running, To give you all my loving, If one day, you would notice me-” “Christ,” Hob growls and turns the radio off. Just one more day. He just needs to keep his head for a few more hours, finish off some editing, talk to his bosses and then he’ll be free to wallow and pine for as long as he wants. “Get it together, Gadling,” he hisses at himself and changes gears as the light turns finally green. It’s not like his stranger is not talking to him. He’s back. Everything’s fine. Better than fine, even. He shouldn’t be hung up about things that will never change, he should focus on all the positive developments. His friend wants to meet him again, so Hob should focus on figuring out where they could meet. A park would probably be best, he thinks.

Part 9

[meetinginsamarra]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I've been tagged by @totallysilvergirl and @calaisreno TYSM!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

51 in total

12 "real" fics and 21 ficlets and 18 covers (I didn't know how to embed on AO3 back then)

2. What's your total A03 word count?

271.977

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock BBC

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mutual Attraction , Learn My Scars, The toe that didn´t belong, The embers still glow when I´m sober , Gravity is missing from everything

The last three are in fact a series called Here I Am

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course! Always and quickly. I love comments, they make my day and fill me with happiness for hours. Not kidding!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics end angsty. Some of my ficlets might, possibly Time

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all end happily.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There had been a few very weird comments on "Mutual Attraction" that were rude or offensive. Some had been deleted by the cowards who posted them later.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, I have written porn and enjoyed it. I also write gen and everything in between. Depends on the story.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, because I define "crossover" as a mix of two existing universes, like Sherlock x Star Trek for example. I have written several AUs though. Alternate Universes with the same characters of my show but placed somewhere else.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have been offered three times but declined because I personally am not comfortable with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Johnlock

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have this fairy tale AU sitting in my drafts for literal years. 20k written and several attempts to take it up again, it is mostly plotted but just resists being finished. *sigh*

16. What are your writing strengths?

Learning by doing, I guess? I think of myself that I am versatile. Maybe writing movie-like action scenes. I remember that's been said in comments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I honestly do not know. (Which is not me saying I can do everything perfectly!! I just try whatever I want.) Finishing the above mentioned fic possibly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it fits the story, why not? I write in English which is not my native language, so I could do German and some French and Italian, too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sherlock BBC.

I've actually never written anything before I started with Sherlock fanfic. I got this idea and it grew and I began to write it down just for me so that I would not forget it. Then I thought, why not write it into a fic? I've been reading a lot fanfic already. Over the course of two years (writing on and off) the idea had turned into a 94k fic. I only started posting "Mutual Attraction" when it was completed on AO3.

I still think it's funny because just imagine this. Never wrote a word of fiction before, not even in my native language. Then, first thing I produced is a novel-length fic written directly in English. Still seems surreal to me.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I love all of my babies and will not choose a fave one. There are only faves in categories.

"Mutual Attraction" was my first and longest fic.

"Wretched and Divine" was the one that made me find my dear friend and beta @peageetibbs

Technically, I am most proud of pulling off "Learn My Scars" because it is 38k written under a huge amount of pressure due to daily posting for Whumptober 2022. Five weeks of intense writing madness but very rewarding, too.

AU and plot-twist wise it would be "The 13th Book ".

---------

So many people have done this but I think @shiplocks-of-love @shelleysprometheus @cumbercurlygirl have not been tagged yet. And anybody else who wants to share, please.

[writingmochi]

! "untitled #3: writer's edition" tag game !

credits to that anon who gave an ask on @/fairyofshampgyu's blog + idk what to name it so i just do that instead lmao

rules: write your favorite thing you’ve written, the least favorite, and one you think deserved more hype! then also post a screenshot of your recently saved on pinterest (just so it looks pretty)

tagged by: smiles @boba-beom! you've been posting so much more fics i haven't keep up yet :") but thanks for tagging me! this is fun!

another episode of lissie, the breaker of the chain. also warning: profanity, i will fucking curse + don't mind me expanding it. still creds to that anon though. i freaking adore you for asking that

part 1. favorite work(s) i've written (aka @/writingmochi staple and a must-read for people who finds my blog for the first time [welcome, new followers! hope you enjoy them!]):

crossroads, a enhypen jay one-shot

still is the proudest fic i've ever written. very studio ghibli (according to @/jeongwins) and also very movie-like. @/orochxi melodramas got me in the feels to write this but this is more wholesome that viv's memento mori-coded fics lmao... fun fact: this is almost a nct chenle fic inspired by parasite (2019) hence the fish-out-of-water scenario

troubled pixies, a txt taehyun one-shot two-shot

definitely my favorite character-building-wise. the fact that i have to figure out not only mc + taehyun but also the sisters, their partners, and the sisters' parents' characteristics here is so complicated yet fun, especially how intricate it is. also currently my longest one-shot i've written (52k) that tumblr hates it so much, it has to be divided into two :") (also, this is one of @/boba-beom's fav fics. i've successfully infected her with 80s/90s songs hehehe) + istg mc here is a definite lux lisbon if she live in 90s instead of the 70s, complete with the chainsmoking and her taste in 90s alt songs

time wave, a txt yeonjun series

now, this is my favorite world-building-wise. i made haeyang this intricate place and setting with its supernatural aspect only some people get (you will know when you read). before writing this, i know i had to make a life is strange (2013) inspired au because it is one of my favorite story-based games of all time. and i’m proud that it kinda becomes its own self especially with my own twists on it. hope you are ready because the [redacted] spin-off will be posted around october! fun fact: this was supposed to be written for stray kids han

part 2. least favorite work i've written:

a story of two broken hearts, a enhypen jake series

i am still proud of this even though it is my least favorite!!!! why, you ask? because this is the first building block of my blog as a whole which is then continue with time wave's chapters as i honed my writing skill. it is the shortest one-shot currently (at 9k though which is still considered long-fic) but you could definitely sense my style even with that. and i don't wanna change it any other way... :]

part 3. work(s) that deserve more hype:

smirch, a txt and enhypen series

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! THIS IS ALSO ONE OF MY FAV FIC TO WORLD-BUILD AND I'M SO SAD THIS DOESN'T DESERVE MORE HYPE ABOUT IT! i made a social media au style of the characters' intro/profile and i also allow you guys to talk to them if you want and help with the world-building. please make their world grow so it can also motivate me to write this series! + this is a naughty teen series but not euphoria-esque, if you like skins uk especially gen 1 with tony, cassie, and a little bit of effy, please consider reading this :")

isobel, a txt soobin one-shot

this deserves more hype because tumblr let me down by not putting it in the tags aaaaaaaaaaaaa i re-post this 10 fucking times istg and ughhhh D: D: if you like magical realism or any of the genres written at the top, please consider reading it too

pizzeria run, a enhypen sunoo one-shot

the more time this fic is available on my blog, i have accumulated a few thoughts: (1) enhablr peeps are horny and like smut more than any other creative writing genre; (2) enhablr peeps don't read sunoo fics like they read heeseung/sunghoon/jungwon/niki's; and (3) enhablr peeps don't like anything except for romance. and that is sad to me because there are so many writers who write any topic other than romance or smut that is as great. so, if you want something different or if you like horror, do consider reading this one :D

part 4. recently saved pins on pinterest:

all of them are smirch post-episode updates! since the last entry is jay's, most of them are what happened to jay and mc after jay's episode (and one for heeseung's post-episode update). more pins will come soon as i make my moodboard for a few of my fics public!

tagging: my fellow writer mutuals @orochxi @impuritywritings @tyunlatte @heart2beom, my favorite seonghwa ateez writer @tenelkadjowrites and any other writers who want to join!

p.s. if someone tags me this tag game again when i've posted ateez fics, I'll definitely include one of them in here!

[dropthedemiurge]

2023 Year Results

I have lost my ranking of favorite Thai BL/QLs that I made during half of the year, so I'm just going to write it anew^^

My Top BLs by the end of 2023:

1. Be My Favorite

2. Moonlight Chicken

3. Not Me

4. The Eclipse

5. Semantic Error (or if we talk only Thai series, then Bad Buddy!)

Honorable mentions: Only Friends, SOTUS, Laws of Attraction, Kieta Hatsukoi, My Ride...

I keep changing the places and Moonlight Chicken held such a strong place in my heart but now I'm also taking into account whether I liked all pairings and characters, so BMF finally took over. But I still can't decide whether The Eclipse is higher than Not Me, I might rewatch it endlessly but Not Me was a cultural reset :D As well as Semantic Error who's done so good and finally broke through the typical Korean BL setting and public's favor.

Bad Buddy has done amazingly as well but there are only 5 places in Top 5 ranking 🥲 I guess, the Our Skyy just dimmed my good memories about it a little bit x)

I love how this year we got shows that have expanded beyond the borders of usual BLs, they added mystery and mystic, action, time travelling, sitcom etc, mixed gentes, kept speaking out about many important things - from marriage legalisation to equal rights - that definitely had its own impact on real life, actors went on many fanmeetings overseas, from West to East, and overall... This was a good year, story and fandom wise.

My Fanfic Statistics

I stopped writing metas and somewhat distanced myself from the fandom when I felt that my views often didn't align with majority (and also got shadowbanned by tumblr?), but I wrote ~ 80k words on AO3 and drew >10-15 arts that I really enjoyed. I still have many wips so look forward to them!

I wrote way too many Only Friends fics whole I watched the show xD This was definitely a show that gave out ideas (and sometimes outrage) and lots of angst.

But Not Me fics are still my number one (though mostly because of all the crossovers with other series I keep writing about)

Also somehow Bad Buddy OT4 fic is now the longest fanfic I've ever written (both in Neglish and my native language). And it's still not finished but tbh even I don't know exactly how it will end, that's how self-indulgent this is but I'm so happy rhat many people were excited about this idea with me!

My Fandom

I also had a blast having various discussions in my own small community and people who wanted to share opinions and watch series together. You guys keep inspiring and supporting me in exploring many ideas, drawing art and writing many fics, I truly admire and adore you all, especially my fam @springkitten @xagan and also @thepancakelady @wereflamingo (I'm surprised how often we agreed with each other on somethjng but that's what makes discussions interesting xD).

Also I want to hug bad buddy server was a joyful discover this year too that inspired me to start learning Thai, our not me server that keeps being my safe comfort space and many hugs to some tumblr folks who I talk in replies and reblogs (I am truly bad at remembering usernames but if I ever chatted with you here, I am definitely thinking about you and your profile picture <3)

Here's to 2024 and more projects

I also started my FirstKhao AU visual novel, and though I thought I would be able to make it in a month or two and then got struck by Health Doing Bad for a long time, I'm definitely determined to finish it next year.

And we keep talking about making Poetry Zines with @springkitten inspired by lakorns/bls we watched and I'd like to try and make it happen 👀

I also want to return to commissions in a better way, because of political situation I haven't been able to continue drawing for my foreign friends but thanks to my other friends who are generous to help me with handling finances for me, I might be able to start drawing requests again! I also spent like 5 months fixing my health that kept me from creating I want to finish old ones and I'm really itching to return to drawings and other projects :D

And I have in my mind mastering pixel and 3d art as a part of my Changing Profession and Career Path in 2024 so let's hope I can lighten up everyone's mood with cooler art and animations 👀

Happy New Year and Happy holidays, everyone!

[ursafootprints]

*eagerly holds up microphone ;D

1, 3, 12, 13, 17, 22, 24, 26, 27, 29, 30

Sldkfjsdf 💖💖💖 THANK YOU FRIEND you're the sean evans to my weeping-while-answering-questions interviewee

1, 12, 24 have all been answered!

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? Oh, gosh. That I can finish something longer than five chapters? That banking all my oneshot ideas is a great way to focus on a main project but means I will be extremely scattered from having too many WIPs in the aftermath? I feel like I'm much less thoughtful/self-aware about this kind of stuff than a lot of other authors, lmao.

13. What fic was the easiest to write? Cheating because it was by far the shortest, but it happens here every day (and its soon-to-be-posted Part 2, as they were actually originally written as a one-shot, haha.) I finished each scene in one sitting of CLAMP-fuelled brainworms.

For the ones that are on more equal ground wordcount-wise, Pyrite was the easiest! I had a pretty solid idea of what I wanted out of it and didn't struggle overly much with any of the individual elements.

17. What were your go-to writing snacks? Salt & vinegar chips are my favorite snack, but I don't snack while I write! I don't wanna get chipfingers on my keyboard.

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene I can't actually pick a favorite from the last two chapters of YNYD (Peter's talks with May? Tony and Peter's final date night before Peter moves for MIT?? the final scene?!), so instead, from Pyrite:

"I accepted that I had no fucking clue what Dad would let you get away with all the way back when you were three and I didn't revert to being an only child after you drew all over his Shelby Cobra with a screwdriver," he said, rolling his eyes at the memory. It's not like he'd at all wanted his baby brother to get slapped into next Tuesday, but— "For all I know you could blow Norman Osborn right in front of him and he'd just compliment your technique." "Tony!" Peter squawked with a peal of horrified laughter, twisting up out of Tony's lap to shove at his shoulder in protest. "'Hmm, excellent work, son,'" Tony intoned in a well-practiced imitation of their father, catching Peter's wrists. "'See how he's working the shaft, Anthony? Now this is how a worthy Stark successor sucks cock.'" "Oh my god," Peter wailed as he struggled against Tony's grip to try and shut him up, beet red and laughing.

Despite being wholly inappropriate, Tony was actually just being a big brother rather than trying to flirt with Peter here, and so this part actually struck me as being weirdly charming as a look into what their sibling relationship could've been like if not for… everything.

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? Oh finishing YNYD for sure. I've never written anything near that long or complex before (my next-longest work is only 37k vs YNYD's 166k,) much less finished it, and it felt like a massive accomplishment.

If we're talking something more specific to the writing process, coming up with the idea of using Hanahaki as the premise for the wicked love sequel was also super satisfying! I was pretty content with the idea of just letting the first part stand alone as a full-on tragedy, but I did keep rolling the idea of "but what would their relationship look like after that" around in my mind just out of sheer fascination with it.

I didn't think my answer at the time ("they'd get therapy but Tony wouldn't really ever open up to talk about it and things would never really be the same I guess???") would be that interesting to write or read, but landing on "Tony would be forced to talk about it because his son got Hanahaki" was immediately exciting!

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? I live in a constant state of buying myself a little treat, so I probably did that, but otherwise not really actually!

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? Lolll oh god. You and @shivanessa for sure for all the lovely gifts and for being such thoughtful and supportive readers and friends, my sibling for listening to me ramble about my fics, Rome for letting me bounce ideas off of them and being a wonderful friend and cheerleader, allllllll of my regular commenters…!! You guys are what makes being in fandom so fun 💖💖💖

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024? Lmaoooooooooo

People were sharing their WIPs lists in the Super Starkers server a while back so I threw one together and, well…

…We'll see what happens!!

[jimothystu]

Talk Hockey To Me

Tagged by @david-reinbacher - thank you Alek!!

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey

So I was kind of assimilated into the hockey world through Blue Jays moots (ty <3), and it was a slow progression for me to 1) start watching 2) pick teams I liked and 3) regularly watch. BUT what really made me be like holy fuck was the final game for the Habs in the 2021/2022 season where they had 10 goals and Cole got his first hattie and people chanted Guy's name. That was insane and just gave me chills the entire time.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

Like I said, I was assimilated through Blue Jays moots, so all of them!! But probably specifically @donttelltheelff <3

3. The jersey you would most like to own

I'd love any jersey tbh. They're so expensive and I have none - so any for my favourite players would be great.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

Jimmy Stu. James. Timmy. The wettest rag in the league. My beloved floppy piece of bread.

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

There are a lot in my humble opinion. Juraj Slafkovsky/Arber Xhekaj, Cole Caufield/Nick Suzuki, Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris (though Jeh and I have been going a lil crazy with them lately...), Quinn Hughes/Josh Norris.

6. Your favourite on-ice moment

When G got his 1000th career point and the entire Sens bench went onto the ice to hug him mid game!!!!!! Vibes per 60 were through the roof!

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

Anything @canadian-as-puck writes for Chabs and Josh! These fics keep me sane.

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

Honestly 99% of the fics I've written the last sixish months have been ones I'm really proud of and loved writing and rereading. But here are my top 5:

Intoxicated: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; silly fic where Timmy's high and drunk and can only speak German

Don't break the dam or you might drown in the current: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; my longest single chapter fic in which the weight of being the Sens captain finally gets to Brady

You don't go to parties anymore: Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris; Josh stops going to Thomas's house parties and Thomas is desperate to know why

Desperate times call for desperate measures: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk; Brady's an idiot and has to win Timmy back after not realizing they were dating

Do's and Don't's: Tim Stutzle/Brady Tkachuk and Thomas Chabot/Josh Norris; G is sick of their pda

Tagging @donttelltheelff @canadian-as-puck @gordiemeow @graves-makar @may-the-puck-be-with-you @kylesdubas @lam-ila - no pressure + sorry if you don't wanna do it!!

[cassynite]

Ok, color me intrigued about the Daerrow pregnancy fic 👀

alsjfsklajs thank you so much for the ask, Ash!! I am going to put all of this under a cut since this will be touching on both pregnancy and abortion topics.

So this fic would detail how, about three years post-Crusade, Sparrow gets pregnant--it's an accident, they didn't plan for it. In fact, Daerrow have never even talked about having kids at this point, despite that being like a normal conversation to have when you're with someone. Sparrow assumes that 1) Daeran wouldn't want kids bc it would cramp his lifestyle and 2) Sparrow would fundamentally be a bad mother, despite secretly really wanting a child/to build a family.

The main crux of the fic focuses on two conflicts: whether or not Sparrow should terminate the pregnancy, and both Sparrow and Daeran learning secrets about their parents that force them to confront their own feelings on parenthood and their thoughts on if they want this, if it would be a good idea even if they did, and what being parents would look like for them. It also features a Big Fight since uh. Sparrow keeps the pregnancy from Daeran for longer than it's wise and he possibly doesn't learn about it from her.

I'm not going to lie, for the longest time it was going to end with her terminating because they weren't ready at that time--mainly because i wanted to subvert the accidental pregnancy trope, but honestly I do think they would eventually go through with it and have their daughter, Isori!

And here's a snippet I've written for early in the story:

"I want to try and find my family," Sparrow says into the dark. Next to her, Daeran makes a muffled noise of confusion into his pillow. "Is that what you have been ruminating on all night?" he asks, and of course he noticed she was distracted. "What do you mean?" Daeran knows the full story of her past, or as much as she knows herself of it--the sunny cliffs over the giant ocean that she once called home, and her brother who raised her and died. But those have always just been snippets in her mind, fragmented by the nightmare that her life became after the slavers took her. "I had parents, once," she says. "I think Crow used to talk about them, from time to time. They might be alive." "And you plan on going to Dehrukani to find some trace of them? What will that accomplish?" There's an edge in Daeran's voice, and Sparrow turns to look at the dim halo of his body. "Alkenstar, actually," Sparrow says. "My brother was mentored there, and it was the last place we ever saw our parents. I don't--it's not much to go on, but asking after an engineer who mentored a child prodigy with a toddler in tow twenty years ago should narrow things down. It could be an actual lead." Another pause, and finally Sparrow sees Daeran relax with a heavy sigh. "I will be frank: I don't think this is a good idea," he says. "Focusing on the past has never served anyone well. You're just going to dig up old wounds, and for what reason? Sparrow, what has brought this on?" Sparrow's throat tightens, the words choking her silent. I'm pregnant. I don't know what to do. There's a box with tea leaves that would solve this problem and I haven't taken it yet. I haven't told you because I don't know how you'll react. I don't even know how I want you to react. What did my mother think when she was pregnant with me? What if I could find her and ask? What if she has the answers I'm looking for?

[greenapricot]

2023 fic year in review

Doing my 2023 fic year in review in February bc that's how things are going in 2024 so far.

Total number of fic: 5 (1 still in progress)

Total word count: 24,217

Fandoms written in: Lewis (3), Endeavour (1), Our Flag Means Death (1)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Less. Though I didn't really have any specific expectations about quantity, just that I wanted to write things I enjoyed writing regardless of the reception, as opposed to past years when I was fixated on the idea of writing a certain amount of fic per month. 2023 felt much more relaxed writing-wise and I'm also about halfway through a super self-indulgent fic that is probably going to end up being around 20k and I'm very pleased with that.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? The Names of All the Winds (Lewis, James/Robbie, magical realism au, alternate meeting). The aforementioned fic that's half done. I am having so much fun reliving my own holiday on Lake Garda by sending slightly alternate universe Robbie and James there and also writing magical realism which I hadn't done in a while.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wouldn't call it a risk exactly, but Patterns Unfamiliar (Lewis, James/Robbie, hurt/comfort) was a fun challenge. My writing is usually very visual and it was interesting to have to describe what was happening in the story when the POV character was in complete darkness.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Finish TNoAtW, which I'm actively working on and hope to manage by the end of March.

And I've said this the last two years running, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads my Lewis/Shetland xover (currently titled The last place we left off). I did do a fair amount of work on it before I entered the fic challenge that spawned TNoAtW, and wrote a good portion of the Shetland fic interlude that I've realized needs to go between the two stories. So both of those are next in line after TNoAtW.

Then there's the Blackbeard's Building & Renovation fic idea that was spawned in discord, in which Ed is a builder and Stede an interior decorator (each with their own crews) and they are both hired to work on the same house at the same time. Some kind of OFMD/Grand Designs-ish fusion. And, as ever, those three Lewis casefics that are mostly plotted and not anywhere close to completion.

Most popular story of the year? One thing at a time (Lewis, James/Robbie). It was spring, I had allergies, so I wrote a fic in which James had allergies. It seems to resonate with folks :D

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Nothing like poetry (Endeavour, post-s6 Ronnie Box angst). It has the least number of comments and kudos, but I don't actually think it's under-appreciated. Ronnie Box ruminating on the terrible mess his life is post-s6 is just very niche.

Most fun story to write: TNoAtW for all the reasons I mentioned above and adding my own photos to it. And it remains fun.

Most unintentionally telling story: I should probably make up another question to go here bc I never have a good answer for this, but The Most Remarkable Thing (OFMD, Ed/Stede, domestic fluff) was basically me putting my love of gardening and living a quiet life in the woods into fic form.

Biggest disappointment: I wouldn't say it was a disappointment, but I really did think I was going to finish the Lead me wild sequel in 2023. I think I'll finally finish it in 2024 though (this time for sure).

Biggest surprise: TNoAtW growing into what looks like it will be the third longest fic I've ever written.

Tagging people just for the fun of it (no pressure though): @bryndeavour, @thankyouforbeingsowrong, @vita-s-west, @mcgstarroar, @mr-iskender, @ronniebox

[raging-violets]

For the fanfic q game!

4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

48. do you reread your own stories?

55. do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written? 

88. if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be?

Heeyyyyy, sorry it's been so long since you submitted this and I got around to answering.

-Rhuben

Ask Game for Fanfic Writers

- 4. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? - That's a bit of a loaded question because I come up with plot bunnies a lot, haha. I'd say it's either my Digimon fic idea (still not fully fleshed out) that involves expanding the Daemon Corps arc from season 2, or my SSX 3 fanfic idea where a wakeboarder gets a wild card spot into the SSX circuit.

I don't really experience dread with this. I'm aware I really only work on this when I usually fall down a rabbit hole of Digimon conversations with Riley @ceruleanmusings and @angelstellaluna OR I just get the urge to play SSX 3 again and I get hooked on it! I wind up not working on them because I can just as quickly fall out of my interest in it.

48. do you reread your own stories? - Yes, I do re-read my own stories. A lot of the time it's because I've completely forgotten what my plan was for the next chapter and I need the reminder of what I had planned next. Sometimes, I just like what I have and want to re-read. Sometimes it's to find what a commenter has referenced and I wind up finding some foreshadowing and hints I didn't even realize I had in there, haha

55. do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them? - Yes. Both published on FFN and unpublished. Simply put, my intense focus on the fandom quickly wanes. Whether that's just because my excitement for it dropped due to real life stuff, or I didn't get the kind of feedback I thought I'd get (though I do write for myself), a shiny new fandom has pulled my focus (<- This happens the most)

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written? - Both for Big Time Rush fanfics: "Silent Pages, Loud Words" or a WIP title "Unplugged, Yet Amplified." They kind of go hand in hand though the plots have nothing to do with each other, but I just love the imagery with it.

88. if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be? - I'd have a hard time letting anyone write my babies, but drama/angst wise, Christopher Pike by for any of my comic/action/adventure based stuff, then Kami Garcia (who wrote the "Beast Boy Loves Raven" YA graphic novel) or Paul Dini who wrote my favorite "Zatanna" comics.

[bageltopia]

🍣, 🍥, 🍚, for the fic ask game???

🍣 What helps you focus or get in the mood to write?

music!!! specifically soundtracks. i almost exclusively write to instrumental or soundtrack music. lately it's been a LOT of the challengers soundtrack with some light dabbling into the social network soundtrack...trent reznor and atticus ross have me in a chokehold. and also coffee! especially a night time coffee. really helps me zoom lol

🍥 What's your favorite fic you've written?

recency bias is making me want to say moonlighters (also since it's the longest thing i've ever written) but in reality i think it might be this fic i wrote in 2020 called bad revolution for a netflix show called 'the society' that had very small but dedicated fandom (before the show got cancelled after 1 season, rip). out of my own fics it's probably the one i've reread the most, i think it's a tightly put together story with imagery/themes that i really enjoy!

🍚 What genre do you have the toughest time writing?

maybe...hurt/comfort? i honestly never really had interest in that writing wise. although i suppose some amount of it comes about naturally if you have larger plots that involve any amount of angst, but i never considered writing it as a main genre 🤔

the other answer to this is any AUs that have their own sprawling universes, i'm too much of a canon lover at heart for that i think!!

[oloreandil]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

tagged by: @chameliyun, thank you so much <33

1 - How many works do you have on ao3?

131 works so far ! 97 of them are for haikyuu!! and i cannot wait to celebrate my 100 hq fics hehe

2 - What's your total ao3 word count?

323,624 words :0 i didn't think it'd be that much, i tend to write short things, i'm excited to have written so many words !!!

3 - What fandoms do you write for?

i have posted for haikyuu, death note, bnha, yuri on ice, free, breath of fire iv, and fairy tale for some unknown reason XD but i have unposted / unfinished fanfic for a bunch of other things like hunter x hunter or fma

4 - What are your top five fics by kudos?

chat me up has always been my most popular fic and tbh ? yeah i see why XD it is one of the most fun and chatfics were popular at the time. after that come ...or not, blue like the sky, silent trust and saw my momma dad cheese

5 - Do you respond to comments?

yes !! fandom is a community first and foremost for me, and posting is also a way to interact. comments are immensely lovely to get and answer !!

6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh probably love me right ?? it's kinda the angstiest i've written... ever. but some nights is also. bad end. solely by virtue of being post apo and not very optimistic about it. i wanna rewrite it someday because i actually really liked that AU and it's not the best right now hmmm

7 - What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

honestly hasetsu tour guides (which is a series but shhh) is the happiest thing i've written ?? it's not the most fun in terms of plot but everyone is content with their life in a way i've not really written a lot

8 - Do you get hate on fics?

nope, not well known enough XD and i'm not complaining about it

9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do ! i have no clue if there's a specific kind i stick to though, most of it isn't even posted or even written past heavy planning. trans cyborg smut is on its way though @notsuchasecret :3

10 - Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i have written or co-written a NUMBER of crossovers. most are not on ao3 yet (or... ever...) but i have posted death note x snow white and hxh x little red riding hood, so. however i do think that owari no seraph x the frog princess (the russian fairy tale) is the wildest one so far !

11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, but that'd be kinda funny tbh ? imagine coming across your own obscure niche things in the wild. i'd almost be more disappointed it's not a new fic for my teeny fandom corner lmao

12 - What's the longest you've spent working on one fic? And the shortest?

the shortest would probably be a couple hours, for guardian of his king (written in a fugue state at like 3am, after Syb shared the drawing that inspired it. two of us fell in a trance btw, this was a POTENT artwork). the longest... i don't dare calculate... but it is measured in years and i haven't even started writing yet <3

13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?

if you count detailed planning and extensive oral storytelling, many !! my best friend and i are very prolific behind the scenes, to her dismay XD. i thiiiiiink she is the only co-writer i have had ? but i LOVE doing group fics and i'd love to do it with other people

14 - What's your all-time favorite ship? From all fandoms?

"you ask questions i have no answers to" is what i was gonna say and then my brain went "well apart from bokuaka which has to be out of the competition-" so i may have an answer actually hahaha

15 - What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oooh my god that naruto fountain of youth AU is never gonna be written. i have so so so much planned and i sift through and add more from time to time, but like... i pick my battles a little more wisely than this behemoth

16 - What are your writing strengths?

i'm not sure ! i do think writing dialogue is easier for me than most other things, and i love doing fun formatting / narrative constraints

17 - What are your writing weaknesses?

i forget to put down half of the words on the paper so my sentences make no sense and it's horrible to edit <- loves editing. doesn't love when i reread myself and every five sentences i have to think "who tf wrote this and what the hell does it mean. how do you go from here to there ??? oh wait i forgot a sentence again"

18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

english isn't my first language. i write dialogue in another language 99% of the time. i don't think this question really takes into account the amount of ESL writers who are basically always doing this

to stay closer to what the question was meant to ask though, i have written sentences, in the middle of english fics, in languages that me or most readers don't speak. it is usually either a LONG process of looking up grammar rules, vocabulary, existing sentences etc... or what i did once, "write with mistakes because the person is learning the language still"

it is good imo to have characters speak their native tongue, or to add your own HCs onto characters and make them speak in their new native tongue, but it can be done more or less respectfully and more or less clearly. how do you include a translation, if at all ? is it jarring in the flow of your fic ? what about inserting song lyrics in another language ? it's a case by case basis for me tbh, and as a reference i really love how yuri on ice did it during the anime

19 - First fandom you wrote for?

i don't recall what i first wrote for exactly but i first posted for death note in 2015 :0 a while back !!

20 - Favourite fic you've written?

i don't have one at the moment, my criteria isn't defined enough these days. maybe some will jump out more later as they did in the past but for now i can say i love most of my children equally lmao

it took me a while to answer, sorry, and i'm too tired to tag anyone but DO feel free to say i tagged you if you wanna do it !!!!!!!

[meetinginsamarra]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Ohh, I love these questions and am ready to play. Let's gooo!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

51 in total

12 "real" fics and 21 ficlets and 18 covers (I didn't know who to embed them at this time)

2. What's your total A03 word count?

271.977

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sherlock BBC

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Mutual Attraction , Learn My Scars, The toe that didn´t belong, The embers still glow when I´m sober , Gravity is missing from everything

The last three are in fact a series called Here I Am

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Of course! Always and quickly. I love comments, they make my day and fill me with happiness for hours. Not kidding!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics end angsty. Some of my ficlets might. Like "Time".

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all end happily.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

There had been a few very weird comments on "Mutual Attraction" that were rude or offensive. Some had been deleted by the cowards who posted them later.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, male/male. I have written very porny porn. I also write gen and everything in between. Depends on the story.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, because I define "crossover" as a mix of two existing universes, like Sherlock x Star Trek for example. I have written a lot of AUs though. Alternate Universes with the same charaters of my show but placed somewhere else.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have been offered three times but declined because I personally am not comfortable with it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Johnlock

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have this fairy tale AU sitting in my drafts for literal years. 20k written and several attempts to take it up again, it is plotted but just resists being finished.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Learning by doing, I guess? Maybe writing movie-like action scenes. That's been said in comments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I honestly do not know. Finishing the above mentioned fic possibly.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it fits the story, why not? I write in English which is not my native language, so I could do German and some French and Italian, too.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sherlock BBC

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I love all of my babies and will not choose a fave one. There are only faves in categories.

"Mutual Attraction" was my first and longest fic (98k).

"Wretched and Divine" was the one that made me find my friend and beta @peageetibbs

Technically, I am most proud of pulling of "Learn My Scars" because it is 38k written under a huge amount of pressure due to daily posting for Whumptober 2022. Five weeks of intense writing madness but very rewarding, too.

AU and plot-twist wise it would be "The 13th Book".

Concerning hot smut, "The toe that didn't belong".

"Sherlock's secret laboratory journal" is pure crack.

tagging anyone who wants to share!!!

[emilykaldwen]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged bbyyyyyy @ewanmitchellcrumbs, @em-writes-stuff-sometimes, @moris-auri, @ladylannisterxo!!! Thank you so much! Sorry it took awhile to get to this!

Check out my AO3 here!

01. how many works do you have on ao3? 11

02. what's your total ao3 word count? 210,850

03. what fandoms do you write for? Currently writing for House of the Dragon since that tickled my brain enough to get into proper writing again.

04. top five fics by kudos? The Maiden and the Drowning Boy, You're the Lighting of the Blaze, Soulmates Never Die, Fight For Me (If It's Not Too Late), Moonshadow

05. do you respond to comments? Always! I love talking and thanking my commenters <3

06. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Boy With a Broken Soul (Heart With a Gaping Hole), my fae!gon x abby fic. Cause it got dark. I've been trying to figure out how to redo the ending because I really do love that fic. I'll eventually crosspost it to Tumblr.

07. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Completed wise, Cinnamon Dulce, Lost, and fight For Me (If It's Not Too Late)

08. do you get hate on fic? Pretty regularly

09. do you write smut? I do! My stories aren't often smut focused, but there's definitely sexy times in there!

10. craziest cross over? The Supernatural x Joss Whedon-verse I wrote over 10 years ago (Sam Winchester x River Tam, Dean Winchester x Buffy Summers)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? no

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! Soulmates Never Die was cowritten!

14. all time favorite ship? Buffy x Angel, Aegon x Abby, Derek Hale x Lydia Martin, Killian x Aurora

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I removed any of my abandoned fics from fandoms I'm no longer a part of.

16. what are your writing strengths? Man, fuck if I know. I think I'm really good at callbacks/sowing the seeds for payoff, and plot. And also treating Helaena Targaryen like a real person lmao

17. what are your writing weaknesses? getting in over my head. Smut.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? I use High Valyrian pretty regularly as well as irish gaelic!

19. first fandom you wrote in? Star Wars!

20. favorite fic you've written? It might be cheating to say Maiden but it's Maiden. Because this is the culmination of a lifetime of working on fic and trying to make it work, a lifetime of working on my craft and practicing storytelling and it's the longest fic I've ever written and I'm so happy with where it's going. I hope you join me on the journey, I'd love to have you!

no pressure tags: @theladyelizabeth, @kingsmakers, @mihrsuri, @deathbecomesnerds, @queen--kenobi and anyone else who would like to!

[holy3cake]

Twenty Questions For Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @lord-aldhelm! :)

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 47, and some of these were absolute fever dreams lmao.

2. what's your total AO3 word count? 297,357 (some of these are multi-chapter, but my current TLK fic is set to be the longest one chapter and word wise)

3. what fandoms do you write for? This doesn't cover all of the fandoms of my AO3 because I wrote a random mixture when I was younger but my main ones currently are:

The Last Kingdom

Saw

13 Reasons Why

FNAF

I've done a few random ones like Sex Ed, Squid Game, TMR, AOTD but the ones above are the main ones I try to stick to!

4. top five fics by kudos:

Your Dreams are my Reality (FNAF)

Don't ever betray me again (Squid Game)

Take Care of me? (AOTD)

Jealousy in the Office (Saw)

One Man's Worst Week is One Man's Greatest Rescue (13RW, this is the first fic I ever wrote so it warms my heart that this is still in the top 5!)

5. do you respond to comments? Yes! If I don't respond on AO3 I respond to people on tumblr, as I tend to seek out people in similar fandoms and make the most amazing friends :)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I meaaaan no spoilers, but In His Father's footsteps will have an angsty but happy ending. I think the angstiest one I've done so far was Runaway Bride (Saw).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? A release of toxic masculinity (13RW) was a super sweet one to write, and ended quite happily :).

8. do you get hate on fics? Not exactly, but I have been the target of bots (unfortunately).

9. do you write smut? I used to write nothing but smut lmao and about 9/10 of my fics are smutty, but I'm trying to include a bit more plot these days, mainly as I'm not great at writing smut haha.

10. craziest crossover? Uhhh probably Saw x Titanic? It was a bit bizarre haha, but I did do a 13RW x Circus thing which was also super fun to write.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge, I really hope I haven't!

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! Someone asked to translate one of my Squid Games fics into a Chinese version, and I was given the link to the page. It was really nice that they asked and showed me the final product :)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope, but I do theorise/write snippets with friends sometimes!

14. all time favorite ship? Oooooh difficult one. I mean I really have only started getting into it recently but Aethelstan x Osbert from TLK have me gripped even though it's a rarepair, and Charlie and Alex from 13RW are my lifeblood.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Uhhhh there's a few lmao. There's a couple of Saw ones that I really want to get back to, but the inspiration hasn't returned just yet.

16. what are your writing strengths? I would like to say descriptions (imagery wise) and maybe light smut?

17. what are your writing weaknesses? I really struggle with dialogue even though most of my fics are dialogue heavy lmao.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? I don't mind reading it, but I don't write it myself. There's no particular reason I don't write it, it just hasn't come up.

19. first fandom you wrote in? 13 Reasons Why! And it helped me through a really rough patch in my life, so I'll always be intensely thankful for the people I met at that time with Chalex (@aeonwing-blog @closetfascination)

20. favorite fic you've written? I have mixed feelings about it, but I really love my FNAF one for the couple, I just felt I rushed the story a bit lol. And maybe it's just because I adore the fandom so much, but my Last Kingdom one has a GRIP on me.

My AO3, in case you're interested in any of this madness:

No pressure tags: @aeonwing-blog @closetfascination @jayalover @book-and-music-lover

@waterfallsilverberrywrites @redacted-thething @lancedoncrimsonwings @cheesyficwriter @persephones-journey @billystoilet

and anyone else that would like to participate!

I've tagged a few of my favourite writers that have been with me through the fandoms, just wanted to say an extra thank you for your works <3

[hourcat]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love 💞

!!!!! this is such a sweet ask game omg <3 hm. my five favorite fics that *i* have written? let's see....in no particular order:

rip currents - my black sails au

don't be afraid to show it off - aka the lingerie fic. this one did REAL damage to my brain but my god did it bring so many of my piarles agendas to life. it definitely broke through the wall in my brain keeping me from being insane. also i think it still holds up hotness-wise so. another win

overtime - LE MANS PIARLES!!!!! i enjoyed writing abt older, retired pierre and charles fulfilling their childhood dream together and falling in love in the process. im a big softie. the portofino sequence was also Everything to me, so you can imagine the shock i felt when pierre posted THE SAME PIC of the portofino coast on insta during one of his vacations

an autumnal affair. - honestly i had such a good time writing the bridgerton au. i've never been a period piece kind of person when it comes to that genre but this made me GET it. begrudging friends to Friends to secret lovers to HUSBANDS like okay girl! i see u!

and finally, as im sure anyone reading this far could probably guess, chassis - the current light of my life. my biggest au to date. the longest fic i've ever posted to date. everyone has been SO nice about it too which just makes me emo. i love the mechanic au so much!!! ive never let brain worms possess me this badly AND come out successful.

please note that the threesome fic and the succubus au were runner-ups. i am nothing if not enchanted by my own ideas

[amethystina]

I saw someone ask how many chapters you think Who Holds the Devil will be, and it got me thinking about how long (word wise) it might actually end up being since it’s already ~270K. This fic is a monster where it currently stands and if there’s still a lot left to go, the final word count might be insane. It makes me curious as to what the longest fic you’ve ever written was. Have you ever written a singular fic as big as this one before? What’s the most challenging part of writing stories this big? Is it outlining, continuity, or is it less to do with the story itself and more to do with things like potential burnout etc.?

(Okay, so, this is going to be quite long (which is very on-brand), perhaps a little more detailed than you asked for, and also delve into my insecurities in a way that might be TMI. Read at your own risk x'D)

Yeah, I can't say for sure how many chapters I'll write or how high the final word count will be, but it's definitely going to be a very, very long fic.

As for other fics I've written, my very first fanfic was a series (three parts that tell an overarching story, plus nine bonus chapters) that clocks in at 290k. And, after that, I've written two more than go past the 100k mark, one at 183k (if you count the bonus chapters) and another that lands at 127k. So writing long fics isn't anything new to me, but Who Holds the Devil is definitely the longest so far.

As for the most challenging part, that differs depending on the story. That first fic I wrote was a Teen Wolf one where I basically did a third season (before the actual third season aired) and the challenge was definitely the continuity, keeping all the details in order (both from canon and my own creations), and making sure to write the frankly rather big cast of characters in a believable way. It was meant to be a cohesive story that spanned over three parts, but each part also had to have its own internal structure and climax, slowly building up to the big finale in the third instalment. Hilariously enough, I was too young and dumb to even realise how big of an undertaking that was and just kept writing, blissfully unaware of my own hubris. And, somehow, I pulled it off.

But in hindsight? I was nothing short of insane. Especially considering my, at the time, untested skills at actually finishing a story of that length — in English, to boot, which isn't even my native language. I had written original stories before that, some of which were quite long, but none of that size or complexity. Like, I'm not sure I would dare try that now, even with the added experience and skills I've accumulated since then x'D

Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.

Anyhow, the more I write, the easier the outlining, continuity, pacing, characters etc. gets so that's rarely a problem. And a lot of that has always come naturally to me in a way I can't really explain. Like, that 183k fic? I wrote that entirely without a timeline, outline, or notes. I just kept it all in my head and went by instinct and, somehow, never had to go back and correct a mistake — not even once. Which is kind of wild when I look back on it (not to mention reckless) but yeah. And the fic is Autonomy, for those of you wondering.

I don't know what it's like for others, but I rarely get stuck on planning and outlining. I usually just figure out a beginning and a couple of key scenes and off I go. And then everything just falls into place as I keep writing, sort of outlining itself without conscious effort from me, long before I actually reach that point in the story (my brain works faster than my hands, I guess? xD). So I usually figure out the ending before I reach the halfway point and then it's just a matter of filling in the empty spaces in between. And, somehow, my brain just automatically manages to figure out the pacing, continuity, and details without me having to pay attention. Don't ask me how that works, it just does x'D

Since it's so much bigger, I do have a timeline for Who Holds the Devil, though, to keep track of where we are and remember important dates (like Go Eun's birthday! :D) as well as a document with notes for future scenes. But that's mostly because I got so excited about some of them and wanted to write down all the cool dialogue before I accidentally forgot it.

So I would say that the more experience I get, it's definitely not the story itself that makes writing long fics difficult — that part is honestly the easy one. Burnout is definitely a factor, though, especially for a fic of this length. Basically, I'm a sprinter, not a marathon runner. I will usually write a lot of words in a short period of time, then have long stretches when I write nothing at all. If I divide my total word count from last year, I actually wrote over 500 words a day, except it's usually more along the lines of 6k three days in a row, then nothing for three weeks x'D

Anyway, since I know this about myself, I usually never start posting a fic until I've finished writing it, since there might otherwise be months without updates. But I obviously had to change that with Who Holds the Devil and that has proven a bit of a challenge, I will admit. I'm not used to regular or even semi-regular updates like this, so I've had to change my habits quite a lot. But I still make sure to recognise when I have to take longer breaks (which does happen, usually after a very intense portion of the fic) just to let my brain cool down a little.

Fortunately, since I'm very goal-oriented, I never lose sight of what I'm doing, however, even during these breaks. I'm not someone who needs to feel inspired or motivated to keep writing, so I can just pick it up again whenever I like. That's not to say I force myself to write, but I can usually trick myself into getting excited enough to continue simply by taking myself over that first hurdle when everything just feels boring and uninteresting.

I'm stubborn as all hell, is what I'm saying, which is definitely useful when writing long fics.

Because, at a certain point, you're going to need more than just inspiration and eagerness if you want to finish. I have not written a single long fic during which I didn't have a moment — often more than one — where I questioned if I truly wanted to continue or not, either because I was at a boring part of the story or felt overwhelmed by the thought of how much further I had to go.

And that's honestly the most challenging part with Who Holds the Devil. I'm confident in my writing, my characterisation, my ideas, and even my plot, but sometimes when I look at my notes and see how much more I have to write, all I feel is doubt. And, in an interesting turn of events, it's not even my own commitment I'm doubting, but everyone else's.

I know I can get through this and stick with this fic to the bitter end, but can you?

Now, don't misunderstand me — my readers don't owe me anything. You can stop reading any time and you should if you're not enjoying the story, but I would be lying if I said that the amount of criticism and questions I get about the length isn't beginning to wear me down. It makes me second-guess every single choice I've made about the plot, pacing, and overall tone of the story.

At the same time, of course I get why people ask. Some want to know when they can start reading because WIPs are scary (I can totally relate) and these readers have no reason to trust me when I say that I will finish this fic, come hell or high water. Heck, I've already lost two grandparents during the writing of this fic and I'm still going. I even tried to write one chapter while sitting at my grandmother's bedside, waiting for her to die (bad idea in hindsight, my writing was very incoherent — do not recommend).

But it's not like everyone who runs across my fic automatically knows that. They don't know me so of course they'll ask, not knowing that they're the fifth person to do so in less than two months. And that kind of hurts.

And I won't deny that there's probably a bit of pride involved as well — it's annoying to have people question my choices — but, more than anything, it's telling me that I must be doing something wrong. My readers don't trust me. And, well, that's kind of alarming as a writer, when the whole point is to take someone on a ride and they keep asking you for directions or "are we there yet?"

Clearly, I'm doing something wrong.

Now, this is not EVERYONE. I have so, so many lovely readers who enjoy both the insane length and glacial slow burn of this fic — I know that. But there's always a niggling doubt at the back of my mind that I'm eventually going to alienate every single reader because this fic is just Too Long. Or that they'll simply give up on the story since it's going to take us beyond Yo Han and Ga On kissing. Like, this fic isn't just about the two of them getting together, but also how they'll make their relationship work in the long term with their individual and shared baggage taken into account. It's going to continue long past the point of them kissing for the first time, as well as them having sex for the first time.

And a lot of people lose interest after the first kiss or the first sex scene. Which is fine — each to their own — but it's very disheartening to be told that as the author. I've had people ask me in what chapter they'll finally kiss so they can jump to that chapter and ignore the rest. I've had people tell me they're going to stop reading because they just can't stand the annoyingly slow burn anymore. I've had people tell me the fic is already too long for them to read and, here I am, knowing it'll take a lot more words to even come close to finishing it.

And that, at least in the case with Who Holds the Devil, is the biggest challenge — to stay motivated and committed when more and more people are telling me I'm not doing this right. It's daunting enough as a writer to look at your fic and realise that, damn, I have such a long way to go, without also having people tell you, to your face, that, yeah, that's way too fucking long, what the fuck are you doing?

It makes you wonder why you should even keep going, especially when you know how much time and effort you're going to have to devote to the project.

What's the point?

Because despite all the lovely comments I get, praising the level of detail and how realistic everything feels, we all know that negative comments have a tendency to stick with us longer. I can't ignore them even if I desperately want to. And, to make matters worse, not all of them are even intended to be mean. Some just want to know how long the fic will be — which is fully reasonable. But those entirely reasonable questions just pile on top of this mountain of doubt I already have, telling me that this is all pointless. My commitment to this fic is a mistake. I'm wasting my time. It's not Good Enough. It's Too Long.

Now, all that said, I love Who Holds the Devil. I love exploring the characters and the story, and I honestly don't think I'll stop writing it. Because, cliché as it might sound, I do write for myself, not others. I share with others because I know people like my writing, but I'd still be writing even if no one wants to read it. So, worst-case scenario, if people are no longer interested, I'll just keep writing it but will stop posting.

Because, when it comes down to it, I don't need validation to write. I can write in complete solitude. As mentioned, I usually finish a fic before posting, which means I've sometimes completed a 60k fic without a single word of encouragement from another person. I LOVE validation, as most writers do, but I don't actually need it to keep working on a project.

Interestingly, what I'm seeing with Who Holds the Devil, is that too much attention can, apparently, instead make me doubt my commitment to a project in a way that's honestly pretty fascinating? I felt more confident about the fic BEFORE I started posting it, BEFORE I knew if anyone would even want to read it x'D

Now is when I feel the doubt, because what these comments are telling me is that, sure, a lot of people would want to read this fic, but it's too long so now they're not gonna. And, in many ways, that feels like a failure on my part, even if I of course know that tastes differ, we can't please everyone etc. etc.

Tell that to my anxiety.

So yeah. For me, personally, it's definitely outside things that make writing long fics difficult, more specifically opinions from other people that make me doubt my skill level, intentions with the fic, and if it's even worth writing in the first place. I'm actually pretty confident about the rest and, even if I struggle sometimes, I can usually push my way through those issues.

Sidenote: As someone who likes to analyse people's behaviour (including my own), it's pretty fascinating to realise that my biggest issue isn't that I feel pressured to produce more or post on a certain schedule — which is what most fanfic authors struggle with — but that I might, in fact, be doing too much? My fic is just too goddamn long for people to handle.

Like, you gotta admit — that's pretty funny xD

Anyway. All of that said, know that I don't regret writing Who Holds the Devil and that I certainly don't regret posting it. I also have every intention of finishing it and I doubt I'll actually reach a point where I'll stop posting. As long as there's even one person out there who enjoys reading the fic, that's enough for me to keep posting.

So to all of you out there — especially if you happen to be one of those who just casually asked me how long the fic will be without knowing all of this shit — I'm fine. I'm not angry or upset with you. I know the majority of you love the fic and wouldn't want me to change a thing. I also know that these insecurities of mine are… well, not unreasonable, but I don't need to listen to them. And I try my best not to (it's just difficult some days, you know?)

So, to finish this off, just know that I love you, appreciate you, and have no regrets. And thank you so, so much for reading my fic, even if it's long, and taking the time to comment, kudos, or even just gush about it with your friends. To know that my writing brings joy to other people and that it can help support you through difficult times or make your day better is the best feeling ever.

Thank you 💜

… also, chapter 29 will probably be another 15k one, because fuck my life x'D