#the live action show tried something different but it also stuck to precedent in the Avatar world | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aitarose · 4 years ago

Text

SUNSHINE | MAKO

PAIRING: Mako x Kya’s Daughter!Reader [fem]

PLOT: Mako’s always had a little crush on Y/N. After all, who wouldn’t? But admitting it to himself? Yeah, no. Just the thought of admitting it to her? Even bigger no. He’d never consider confessing..right? based on these requests by anons

WARNINGS: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

A/N: i love mako sm like you guys don’t even know. this man OWNS me fdjafdlsjk. also i got a little carried away with these requests and i took them to the next level so please enjoy :)

MY MASTERLIST

Mako was living his absolute worst nightmare.

Stuck aboard an airship with his two exes, his brother, his boss, and his boss’ ex with no opening window to jump out of?

The day was definitely not in his favor.

Every hour seemed to be the same.

Radio a call..hear about a new airbender..find the map..use the map..go to the town..get kicked out of the town..return to the beginning.

While Mako did love having a routine—he was bored of this one.

The only thing that made his day even slightly interesting was Y/N.

It wasn’t long ago when he had met the water tribe girl. They’d first spoken during the Glacier Spirits Festival in the Southern Water Tribe.

He had been introduced to her mother, Kya, through Bolin. His younger brother was so starstruck by Avatar Aang’s only daughter, that he couldn’t help but drag along her own daughter with him for the entirety of the festival.

Bolin spent the rest of the night proudly walking alongside the teenage girl, who had to have been at least two to three years older than him.

He went around and showed her off to all of their friends from Republic City, even if they already knew her.

“Don’t make a show of it, but I know the Avatar’s granddaughter. You don’t need to be wowed or anything, it’s no big deal.”

“Bolin, I’m literally her uncle.”

Mako was one of the very last people to meet the infamous Y/N.

It was right after his argument with Korra about the situation between her father and Unalaq. His emotions were all over the place, confusion and annoyance dominated his mood.

But all of his anger dissolved with one look at her smile.

It was at that moment when Mako decided that Y/N had a gift.

She could lift someone’s spirit with a single glance. Her eyes always glowed with positivity and her soul was the purest one he had ever come across.

Y/N could be compared to the rising sun. Just by existing, she radiated more light and goodness than the greatest man on Earth could ever achieve.

It had been a very brief introduction.

“Mako, my man!” Bolin slapped his palm over the firebender’s shoulder, a cheesy side smile pointed at the teenage girl standing next to him.

“This is my good friend, Y/N. Y/N meet my big bro!”

Y/N beamed, her teeth sparkling under the moonlight. She held out her hand in a friendly manner and looked straight into Mako’s eyes, unafraid of making eye contact.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mako.” She spoke whilst shaking his hand. “I’ve only known Bolin for an hour and I feel like I already know everything about you.”

Mako groaned in embarrassment. He was always flattered by how much Bolin looked up to him, but sometimes his little brother went a little too far.

“You had an hour? Let me guess..” Mako pointedly looked at Bolin, shaking his head in amusement. “He must’ve told you our entire life story by now.”

When she laughed at his blunt attempt at a joke, Mako’s heart soared right then and there.

It was like the fire inside of him had been ignited with gasoline. but instead of her water smothering his flames..they made the grow. Made them stronger.

Though Mako hadn’t realized these lurching feelings at the time. He did have a girlfriend after all, and he liked to think he would never intentionally cheat on her.

That didn’t stop him from admiring her from afar.

Platonically of course.

There weren’t many moments after the festival where Mako found himself alone with Y/N.

He had chosen to follow Korra to open the spirit portals and Y/N went off to tour the air temples with her extended family—and if he was being honest, he hadn’t had much time to think about her between fighting off evil spirits and breaking up with his girlfriend.

It wasn’t until after Team Avatar defeated Unalaq and Vaatu, that Mako’s mind returned to his unresolved and unrealized feelings.

With the spirit portals open, the world was new again.

Thousands of people were traveling, discovering places they never knew existed, and migrating to different nations.

Luckily for Mako, Y/N had been one of those people.

It had taken her about a week to move into her apartment in Republic City.

Her flat was quaint but cosy. It had views overlooking the busy downtown and bustling people, and she had easy access to stores and shops in the neighborhood.

There was nothing wrong with her new home, but it wasn’t like the South. In fact, it was nothing like the South.

Y/N missed her friends and colleagues. She missed the chilly wind that would slice through the air and freeze her cheekbones. She missed the animals and the overall energy that the South had.

But she was open to new beginnings and new friends—and her open mindset was exactly what led her to join her family and Team Avatar on the search for new airbenders.

Which is right where Mako had left off.

The airship was dreadful, dreary, and just plain boring.

His main source of entertainment was watching a cloud disappear from his view, and then preceding to find another one for his eyes to chase.

Luckily for him, Y/N was also bored out of her mind. She had no one to talk to on the ship.

Korra? Tempting, but intimidating.

Asami? Sure if Y/N was less hippy and more business mogul.

Bolin? Yeah, she didn’t want to go down that path again.

Lin? No way.

Her actual family members? Good option—but Tenzin was boring and all Jinora did was read old scrolls.

Y/N was at a loss, and the only person that seemed remotely interesting was the brooding firebender staring out of the window.

When she approached him, Mako was at a loss for words.

He had been thinking about this moment for awhile now, and had a pun filled pick-up line ready to go, but when it came down to crunch time, he stalled.

“Hey,” Y/N smiled, gesturing to the seat next to Mako on the iron bench. “Mind if I sit?”

Mako’s mouth opened to respond, but no words came out of his mouth. He sat there like a fish out of water, nodding his head silently.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders and happily sat next to the nineteen year old.

With her being so close in proximity, Mako’s brain flashed exe.error messages through his thoughts.

They sat in a comfortable, yet also awkward silence for a long time.

Every time Mako tried to get a word out, he stumbled. His nerves overcame his speech, preventing him from sounding the least bit cool.

Scratch that. They prevented him from sounding like an actual person and not a toddler that just learned how to speak.

After what felt like generations, Mako was saved by none other than his ex-girlfriends.

“We just landed,” Korra said, waving to the former probender and his companion. A confused look flashed across her face at the sight of them so close yet so uncomfortable.

Asami then poked her head around the corner, coming into view. “Are you guys going to come out or what?”

Y/N was the first to jump up, nodding her head enthusiastically.

She nearly sprinted to the exit—not because she wanted to get away from her encounter with Mako, she was just really excited to meet new people.

Mako heaved a deep sigh when she was completely out the door and out of earshot. It felt like he could finally breathe again without the stress of being in her presence.

“You like her?” Korra crossed her arms over one another, leaning against the wall as Asami stood by her side.

“What?” Mako stuttered, his face flooding with hues of red and pink.

“Why would you say that?”

“No Way!”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

Korra and Asami loudly laughed at Mako’s rambling, while they had both been hurt by his actions in the past, they had come to forgive him—and they wanted nothing more than for him to find his special someone.

“Okay, then.” Korra shrugged, pulling Asami out of the room with her, “Whatever you say, Mako.”

Mako dropped his face into his hands, pulling at his hair as he mentally beat himself up.

“But if it matters,” he looked up to see Korra still standing at the door. A genuine smile shown on her face.

“I think you two would be perfect together.”

As Korra finally left him to himself, Mako couldn’t help but think about how lucky he was to have a friend like her.

She was everything he didn’t need in a relationship, but everything he could’ve ever wanted in a friendship.

Eventually, Mako did manage to force himself off of the airship. He helped with the little show the airbenders put on to influence others to join the nomads and even fought a few bad guys while he was at it.

He was finally having a good day, until the little punk tried to steal his wallet.

“Wait,” he ordered, pulling Kai back by the neck of his shirt. Mako held out his hand expectantly and gave the younger boy a hard look.

“I think you might have something of mine.”

Kai smiled sheepishly before pulling out the firebender’s stolen goods.

“It must’ve fallen into my pocket, my bad.”

Mako glared at the new airbender. The stare he was giving Kai was so cold, it could intimidate a pack of polar bear dogs.

“Now listen here,” he bent down to Kai’s level. His tangerine eyes meeting Kai’s green ones. “I know your game. I used to be the master at it, actually—and let me tell you that it gets you absolutely nowhere.”

Mako sighed, he already saw so much of himself in the kid that he didn’t want him to go down the same hard path that he did.

“All I want is the best for you, kid.” He patted Kai on the shoulder before sending him off to join Jinora on the ship. “Don’t mess up this opportunity.”

There were times where Mako enjoyed being the big bad cop or the authoritarian figure, but this was not one of those times.

He just wanted Kai to have the best life he possibly could.

The life he had always wanted for himself.

Unbeknownst to Mako, his secret crush had witnessed the whole ordeal.

His pure-hearted intentions touched Y/N. Acts of kindness and wellbeing always found their way into her heart, and his act of good caught her attention in a very positive way.

It caught her attention enough, that she found herself standing right behind him.

“That was really sweet what you said back there.” She told Mako, who jumped in surprise at her soft voice.

“Yeah, I tried. I’ve been where he is before. I know how it ends.”

Mako felt much more comfortable now that Y/N had started the conversation. He wasn’t afraid to give his thoughts knowing that she was the one who wanted to talk to him.

Y/N let out a low breath. Her hair willowed in the breeze, her eyes shining under the sunlight. She looked like a lost spirit.

A beautiful lost spirit, Mako thought.

“I try, too.” She whispered to him. Mako could barely hear her voice, it was so faint.

“Sometimes being there for everyone else has its downfall.” Y/N’s sparkling eyes turned dim, sadness drowned her usually uplifting features.

“I spend all my energy making sure that everyone I love is happy, but then there’s never anyone looking out for me, you know?”

Mako did know.

He knew exactly how she was feeling. He’d raised Bolin since they were children.

If anyone knew the pressures of holding onto another person’s burdens, it was Mako.

“I’ve noticed that,” Mako said, stepping closer to the girl. He could see that her eyes were welling with tears, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and make all the negative energy go away.

So that’s exactly what he did.

Y/N melted into Mako’s embrace. She felt his body radiate heat, he warmed not only her body, but her heart in an instant.

“I see you, with Tenzin’s kids.” Mako ran his hand down her back, comforting Y/N as best he could. “They look up to you more than they do anyone else. You’re really amazing, Y/N. I’m surprised you don’t hear it more often.”

Right then and there, Y/N realized exactly what she needed in her life—and it was Mako.

If she was being honest with herself, he hadn’t exactly caught her eye before.

She thought he was somewhat bland at the Glacier Spirits Festival and the whole double girlfriend situation definitely didn’t spark her interest in the firebender, but now here she was..

Crying in his arms, confessing her insecurities, and feeling heard.

She had never felt heard before.

“I think you’re really amazing.” Mako blurted out.

He cringed at his confession, hoping that she didn’t take it the wrong way. If there even was a wrong way to take it.

Mako felt Y/N grow still in his arms. His heart pounded in anticipation for what her next words would be.

To his surprise she pulled away..

Before pressing a deep kiss to his lips.

Mako immediately responded. His mouth moved languidly with hers, connecting in the most perfect way, as if they were meant to be.

His entire body nearly combusted. Her bright spirit combining with his fiery one.

Mako felt like sunshine was running through his veins.

She pulled away, giving him one last chaste kiss.

“I think you’re amazing, too.”

i love feedback pls give me some

912 notes · View notes

animatedminds · 4 years ago

Text

Let’s Get Dangerous Review!

It’s dangerous. In a good way. <cue dramatic music> Okay, obviously there’s more thoughts than just that. I’ve been waiting for it for weeks, and it arrived just as awesome as I hoped. For the first time, let’s give my full movie style review to the double length Ducktales special: “Let’s Get Dangerous.”

The spoilers are open and widely discussed, so maybe don’t look past the following image if you haven’t seen the episode yet.

To note, I’m not entirely convinced that this was actually meant to be a pilot. It definitely does introduce a new status quo for the Darkwing trio of characters (minus Honker for now, here’s hoping they haven’t forgotten him), but it’s also a very remote story that still tries to take place within the context of Ducktales’ universe, so it really depends on what they choose to do.

But let’s just get down to it.

First off, as I mentioned in my earlier post… Taurus Bulba. He was maybe the biggest and most eye-catching aspect of the first part of the episode, as one of the few elements we hadn’t already seen yet, and his reputation as a really, really bad guy has quite preceded him. As I may have gushed somewhat about, he’s one of the best parts of the special.

James Monroe Inglehart, for those living away from the Disney scene for a decade, is an actor and voice actor most famous for being the original Genie on Broadway’s Aladdin. A grand, bombastic presence, he generally plays characters who - much like the genie himself - a big, jolly, kind but maybe a little mischievous souls that take the attention of a room and brighten up the characters’ day - like Lance, in Tangled the Series. The most interesting thing about Bulba is that Inglehart brings that exact same energy to the role, and so Bulba keep that jollity and lofty personality in a package that becomes increasingly less nice as the story goes on. As someone who keenly remembers Taurus Bulba as cruel monster willing to hurt kids and capable of crushing Darkwing like nobody’s business, the contrast was immediately fun to watch - and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In this story, Bulba is recast from a crime lord intending to use a super weapon go on an endless plundering spree to a FOWL scientist with a respectable reputation who intends to use a super weapon to take over the world, and the transition goes off fairly well. The end result is a pretty standard mix of superhero fight and Bond plot, as Bulba ends up holed up in his lab with his squadron of elite supervillain minions - all plundered a particular fictional universe - with the heroes having to break in / escape from his captivity and stop him before he destroys everything. It’s very Silver Age, with Bulba in the role of maniacal villain, and he’s contrasted very well with Bradford - who is as always an antagonist who prides himself on pragmatism. This contrast leads to some great moments: Bradford’s increasing frustration with the cavalier attitude of both the heroes and the villains gives him the best stint of characterization he’s had since the beginning of the season - he basically spends the whole episode arguing with everyone about how badly thought out their actions are, while also badly hiding his own secrets.

The Fearsome Five (of which Quackerjack is voices by his original actor) are great to see, though used minimally. If you’re expecting to see classic show dynamics between the villains and Darkwing, that’s not really what they’re used for. Mostly, they’re minions with personality, and they’re more there to establish both to the audience and to Drake the character himself that he is ready to take on really big threats even with his lack of superpowers.

But enough about the villains, on to the heroes!

A couple episodes ago, with the Halloween episode, I criticized that story for not balancing its A and B plot all that well. This episode does not have that problem. The story is actually maybe about three fifths Darkwing’s story, and the rest of it is Scrooge and the nephews as they figure out what Bulba is up to independently of Darkwing and try to stop him themselves. It’s somewhat similar to Timephoon, where they’re there constantly and are doing their own bid to solve the story but the focus isn’t primarily on them. Instead, we have some of the best “HDL actually matter to the story” bits of the show, where they escape Bulba’s prison on their own and lead Bradford out, all the while slowly figuring out that something is shady about the guy. Meanwhile, Scrooge gets stuck in the original Ducktales universe’s most memed scene, which was a fun gag (but not the best gag - that would be the one and only Bonkers D. Bobcat as the Harvey Bullock-style cop in the Darkwing show).

Which I suppose can lead to a digression about the mad science bit here. The alternate universes here are… interesting. I always pay special attention to how things like time travel or other dimensions or alternate universes work in a series, and this one reminds me the most - I think - of DC’s Dark Multiverse: a collection of universes that are both explicitly fictional but made real because people created them. Ultimately, it’s less as if the OG Darkwing universe exists independently of the Ducktales universe and more that the in-universe Darkwing show as a world based off of it that the characters can reach into. I wish the episode had delved into that more, and now you’ve got people trying to use it to look for more establishment of OG Darkwing elements (though I was fine with it being separate, perceiving anything else as rather needlessly inexplicable), but ultimately that is not specifically what the episode is about, and is kept rather separate.

So what is the episode about? Like you didn’t already know…

As always, Gosalyn Waddlemeyer is a little girl whose grandfather was done away with by Taurus Bulba, and who falls into Darkwing’s lap over the course of his adventure with him. Here, her grandfather is (possibly) still alive, just lost in the ether a la Gravity Falls’ Grunkle Ford. And like the mighty glazed McGuffin, Darkwing’s goal in the episode is less strictly defeating Bulba as it is helping her get her grandfather and her home back. Gosalyn here is self-sufficient and action oriented (it may be my inner Brooklyn 99 fan talking, but I loved Stephanie Beatriz as her, and kind of wish she had gotten a wider range of lines), taking on her own crusade against Bulba until she realizes she can go to Darkwing for help, and is constantly trying to pull him into the fight - even while he is reluctant, and no matter what the danger - so that they can win and she can get justice. But in the end, she has to accept that they might not be able to.

As a longtime Batman fan, I immediately recognized a plethora of Robin references with Gosalyn. She’s a kid who’s family was taken from her by a villain, given a surrogate home by the hero - like Dick Grayson. She’s a street tough who originally met the hero committing a crime, and who is both skeptical of his heroism and heavily critical of his flaws - like Jason Todd. And she’s a young genius with a lot of scientific knowledge, tech skills and common sense - just like Tim Drake. There’s even elements of Carrie Kelley or Terry McGinnis there, in her determined if not gung-ho approach to heroism despite her circumstances and the hermit-like behavior of the hero.

And in the end, this is a fairly apt comparison, because Gosalyn essentially ends the story more as a Robin figure than previously, now as Darkwing’s more of a ward and official sidekick alongside Launchpad. The story does not, to note, involve her being adopted by Drake or becoming Gosalyn Mallard. Indeed, they don’t really end up having that sort of relationship. They’re distant and don’t really know how to relate to one another, and not about to broach the subject of family except in distant terms. There’s ultimately far less emphasis than before on Gosalyn and Drake being similar and hitting it off on a personal level, or even really Drake keying into Gosalyn’s potential and spirit as a person vs an element in his adventure. Throughout the story he regards her as a victim to be saved, then ultimately as an ally with potential to be respected, and in the end he gives her an offer to take up the mantle along side him while they search for her family… which ultimately creates something very different.

For people expecting something a little more akin to the implications the show made with Gyro and BOYD, Gosalyn here. The implication that they could be a family is brought up by Launchpad, but neither Drake nor Gosalyn are really there at the end of the story - I want to say they’re not there yet, but the way the story goes gives off the impression that the dynamic duo dichotomy is the relationship for the two the writing is most comfortable giving them.

Again, I’m a longtime Batman fan, so I understand and appreciate the nod. It gives them a really cool status quo that’s distinct from what came before it. Still, the strong father/daughter relationship between the two was very much the heart and soul of the original show, an endearing quality that created the character traits we love about both characters, and ultimately one of the primary characteristics that set the Darkwing family apart even from most comic book superhero stars - so even if they made something great out of it, it’s a shame to see Ducktales ultimately keep that relationship at arms’ length.

But that’s less a criticism and more just something I wish they had chosen to do differently - and it makes sense for the 2017 team’s take on Darkwing, which has always been more focused on “irrepressible hero who doesn’t give up” - a pluckie rookie growing into his competence - than “former fool whose great potential is unleashed through the people around him.” The latter is there, sometimes, but it’s not prominent. Original Darkwing was a man made better by his daughter, while the modern Darkwing doesn’t quite need that to find the hero within.

The only (and I mean only) criticism I have is the way the characters kind of jump around in how they respond to things. Drake wanting more crime, and then freaking out when super crime shows up and it’s way more than he thought he can handle is fine, and is one of the better character bits in the special. It being unclear whether Drake is against fighting supervillains because he thinks they’re too powerful vs because he doesn’t want to risk Gosalyn’s safety is another thing, though - it seems the show intended to imply the latter but forgot to include the line somewhere, so it’s not inferred until later and Drake suddenly benching Gos towards the end lacks set-up.

For her part, Gosalyn is suddenly and quickly afraid to fight for a brief moment so Launchpad can inspire her to face impossible odds, even though it was hardly the first time she had done so in the special. The ending I think wanted the characters to be somewhere that the rest of the special hadn’t gotten them to yet. But it’s all good - it ends well, so all’s well. Best gag of the episode, btw? Fenton, who is awful at keeping his secret identity secret, has hooked up Darkwing with his own hi-tech hero lair. Darkwing, despite supposedly being a detective (or at least an actor playing a detective), ends up as one of the two or three people remaining on Earth who hasn’t figured out that Fenton is Gizmoduck. Darkwing considers himself good friends with Fenton, despite hating Gizmoduck. It’s actually very funny.

It’s as of now unclear what is coming up for Darkwing. We know the St. Canard characters are going to factor in more as the FOWL plot progresses, and this episode kicks that plot into high gear - the characters now know about FOWL and their intentions, and are preparing themselves for a far more dangerous fight than usual. In short, with the midseason comes the renewed focus on the primary plot of the season, as per the usual. Like I said before, while I’m not as on board as most with the idea that this was a pilot, St. Canard was definitely established here - with series regular Zan Owlson as it’s new mayor, and a general aesthetic and set of protagonists. It wouldn’t be remiss for a future episode this season to take place there (though we know Negaduck isn’t happening this season).

The new few episodes, however, are focused more on the quest for Finch’s treasures and FOWL, so that’s going to have to wait for a while. We’ve been promised, as I recall, an episode that brings all the kids together (unless that’s part of the finale), which is nice - I may have mentioned before that the best episodes of the series have been the ones that put the kids (who are the characters with the most focus throughout its run) together and let all their personalities run through an adventure together - and with the cast growing somewhat constantly, it’s nice to know that no one is being forgotten.

Either way, I give the episode a great deal of recommendation - I only had a couple things that bothered me, and a few wishes for different choices, and ultimately I’m planning on watching it a ton of times just like I did the first Darkwing episode. From a classic Darkwing fan, and in the words of Bat-Mite, it’s a different intepretation to be sure, but not at all one without merit.

So thanks to Frank Angones, Matt Youngberg and the Ducktales crew! I hope my virtual thumbs up reaches them somehow, but either way, it was a good day to be dangerous.

53 notes · View notes

honeymoonjin · 4 years ago

Text

day 14

This chapter was such a cathartic experience for me that I wrote book report for it. I have little else to offer at your altar of magic aside from my undying gratitude for your continued hard work and utter awe of your literary prowess. Please enjoy my attempt at articulating the emotions you have managed to evoke in me with this chapter. Thank you once again! 💜 Jan

Set to Self Destruct: An analysis of Sora’s Day 14 of “The Gentlemen”

Every genre brings with it a set of expectations that shapes the kinds of stories it can tell and the themes it can explore. “The Gentlemen” is entirely shot from one specific location, with its participants prohibited from leaving the premises of the villa (with the allowance only for Y/N and the fan favorite winner of that week to leave for a one night date). This restriction creates a scenario where 1) at first the occupants fall into an unspoken, almost idyllic community and 2) inevitably the conflicts that arise as a consequence of a Utopian society. With the added pressures of a competition, an environment that fosters moments of high emotional tension, physical and emotional intimacy, and 8 very different personalities, it feels as if the show was doomed for dissonance right from the start. It should be no surprise that the rather straightforward, raunchy reality show devolves so quickly into a “bottle episode” filled to the brim with an emotionally charged battle of whose tongue is the sharpest. On the surface, “The Gentlemen” is a story about a single female protagonist judging the sexual abilities of seven random men but this premise and the setting with which the story plays out on, serves to explore the deeper ideas of one’s role in the balance of social harmony verses the human tendency towards self destruction.

The setting of a story can be a powerful tool in expressing a character’s journey. “Bottle episodes” have often been used for dramatic effect in visual storytelling, with the limited setting and cast allowing for a slower pace and deeper exploration of character traits and motives. Having the entirety of “The Gentlemen” be one long drawn out “bottle episode” allows for the audience to experience a slow-burn like intensity of those personalities. It takes the fundamental process of how a group stuck in a certain location together for an extended period of time inadvertently falls into certain social constructs in order to reach an equilibrium of cohesion. The roles which each occupant of the villa naturally fell into set a precedent for many of the events that followed on the show, most obvious being Y/N as the “queen bee” (the one who holds the most power in the group), Seokjin as the designated “counselor” (the one who is expected to help his fellow competitors when an emotional issue arises), and Yoongi as the “mediator” (the one who is the voice of reason and rationale when tensions run high). And yet it is revealed that there is a price for that harmony, for even roles that are not as explicit begin to weigh heavy as the days wane on. The cohesion of these roles were meant to serve as cogs that fit together to uphold a sense of teamwork in an otherwise tension filled living quarters. But people are not cogs and emotions are not gears to be compartmentalized into neat roles to serve the higher purpose of the show. And as occupants spend more time with one another, natural biases, feelings of jealousy, possessiveness, envy, and pride start to surface under the umbrella of selfish acts, we begin to see that fine balance corrode the fragile peace.

The road to self destruction has begun in earnest.

It all comes to a head at the 2 week mark of the show’s timeline. At this point, tensions have been running high: from revelation of Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s romantic feelings for Y/N, to Jimin and Hoseok’s long running rivalry, to Y/N, Jimin, and Taehyung creating a polyamorous relationship in secret, to Jungkook feeling like the odd man out. The pressures of the show were eventually bound to break someone’s resolve and we see that personified in Jungkook in this episode. After speaking with Seokjin about his warring feelings towards certain members of the group and his desires to act on his frustrations regarding the restrictive parameters of the show, Jungkook was able to unload some of the pent up tension he had been carrying around for the last few days. The audience is then lulled into a false sense of security that the equilibrium of the group has been restored when in actuality, it was a red herring that something drastic was about to unfold. At first glance, the guidance that Seokjin offers Jungkook feels like a band-aid on a bleeding artery when in actuality it was more akin to Seokjin inadvertently stepping on a landmine he believes he has already defused. And his misstep triggers the entire villa to fall victim to the explosion.

In the climatic scene of the episode, Jungkook’s pent up emotions rears its ugly head in the form of harsh words, tactless criticism, irreparably broken trust, and even fists thrown. His actions turn from verbal assaults to physical ones and the damage seems to fissure out towards the entire group. The destruction is absolute; no one is left unscathed. Why is this scene so effective? Its power is not from the dramatic way Jungkook punches Jimin for calling him out on his childish behavior or the out of character way Hoseok tries to break up the fight only to be elbowed in the face by Jimin nor is it in the heartbreaking way those that are left behind in the villa are tasked with the self imposed responsibility to pick up the literal pieces of their tenuous friendship. It is in the fact that the audience understands the self destructive actions of the characters and perhaps to some degree relate to it on a very human level. We understand that Seokjin wanted to talk through the problems with the group because he didn’t want to shoulder all of the burden himself anymore. We understand that Hoseok acts the way he does because he uses it as a defense mechanism to protect himself. We understand why Sejin did not step in earlier when he was asked to by Yoongi and why Yoongi is bitter about it as a direct result of Sejin’s choice to abstain from deescalating the fight before it got out of control. We understand that Jimin and Jungkook clashed with each other so viscerally because they see themselves in each other and it’s a jagged pill to swallow when presented with a mirror of all of the ugly sides of ourselves we think we do such a great job of hiding. Perhaps exaggerated for a more dramatic effect, but at the core of these interactions, we see the flaws that we carry as human beings and are forced to face the unpleasant feelings that it elicits in each of us. We understand because we can empathize with their struggles.

How does a community attempt to repair itself when its very foundation is practically razed to the ground? Perhaps there is an argument to be made about a complete dismantling of a previous establishment. The audience can view this inevitable clash as a “controlled burn”. In terms of forest management, a “controlled burn” is a fire set intentionally for purposes of farming, prairie restoration or greenhouse gas abatement. These “controlled burning” is conducted during the cooler months to reduce fuel buildup and decrease the likelihood of serious hotter fires. In the same way fires are a part of a forest’s life cycle, the clash that occurred on day 14 might serve as a way for the characters to start fresh, with hopes of emotional maturity and foresight for rebuilding relationships moving forward in the competition.

The damage done during day 14 of “The Gentlemen” may arguably be irreversible, perhaps even amplified by the uncertain nature of the show, but challenges were inevitable with a setting like this one. And yet, there are seeds of hope scattered among the debris. In John Yorke’s “Into the Woods: a five act journey into story” he writes “…story matches psychological theory: characters are taken on a journey to acknowledge and assimilate the traumas in their past… By confronting and coming to terms with the cause of their traumas they can finally move on.” Day 14 revealed a lot of stances, opinions, and confessions that were previously kept secret due to the need to preserve the harmonious nature of the greater good, “the community”. But human nature does not allow for peace to reign for long; it yearns balance. Thus dissonance created discourse. Yet from strife there is revelation. From the ashes of fiery emotions, there is a chance at peace anew: either reestablish order or embrace the chaos. Yet most likely it’ll come down to a melding of the two in order to find the balance a community craves whilst also giving into the character’s more baser human desire for self ruin.

-------

jan i literally can’t stop crying thank you so much. there’s no way for me to put into words the feeling of someone caring so much about the story and even about one particular chapter that they’ve written such an articulate and profound ESSAY on it like,,,, i have no idea what i’ve done to deserve this, because writing this story is just this little passion project that i’m fostering with my brainstorming group and with the readers. it feels like a collaborative effort and so i never really saw it as anything more than just the fun gimmick of an interactive fic in a crazy situation.

you see things in my story that even i don’t see, make it sound beautiful when i worried it was awkward, and i can’t thank you enough for that. and when you brought up Into the Woods i LOST it, i adore that book and hearing someone quote a masterwork like that when referring to my fanfiction? it’s so absurd but so special all at once.

i’ve never really considered becoming an actual author because the pressure of money and income relying on it seems scary to me (even commissions stress me out) so i’m eternally grateful to you for always making me feel like this is something professional. getting a glimpse into that life by you writing an analysis on d14 is just.... i really can’t describe how special it is.

every week i aim to make each chapter better than the last, and we have a very different landscape in the house on day 15 after our controlled (perhaps not so controlled) burn. i’ll patiently await your thoughts then, but i just want to say that you inspire me to work harder each week ;;-;

20 notes · View notes

hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years ago

Text

Spider-Geddon #3 Thoughts

Okey dokey this was actually better than the last few issues of the main book.

Now look...there are still problems.

Still gaping fundamental problems.

Let us put aside the fact that the Inheritors are awful antagonists.

We still have 3 glaring problems that were present in Spider-Verse yet totally fixable in this event.

a) The over focus upon Doc Ock, which if anything is WORSE in this event than in the last one

b) Just like in Spider-Verse waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many characters rendering most everyone generic cartoon variants of Spider-Man as opposed to using the nuances of their personalities and exploring them via interactions. We have RYV Peter and MJ right next to a kid Peter and Uncle Ben Spidey and...nothing. Isn’t seeing Ben or kid Peter react to seeing all grown up Peter and his Spider WIFE more interesting that talking about how we should have one big Spider team? Isn’t seeing RYV Peter react to a living Uncle Ben more compelling than Spider-Ham making a snarky one gag? The closest we get to truly exploiting these types of opportunities is Ben and Otto butting heads and RYV MJ briefly (very briefly) showing a soft spot for Kid Peter. But would that have been that different if it was any other character? It only means something because he’s a kid and she’s a mother.

c) Why. Has. No. One. Suggested. Fighting. The. Inheritors. With. RADIATION!

*facepalm*

I’m even ashamed of myself for not bringing that point up sooner.

The first Morlun story concludes with the genius tactic by Peter to use radiation to fight Morlun which practically kills him.

In Spider-Verse NOBODY brings this up until conveniently towards the end when they are stranded on a radioactive Earth.

In Spider-Geddon, again, nobody brings this up.

Radiation might not be to the Inheritors what sonics and fire are to symbiote but it has still been a consistently effective weapon against them as far as anyone knows. And in almost all the early Venom and Carnage stories Spider-Man or the other protagonists (and the writers handling them back then) were smart enough to try and exploit that obvious weakness so why do we start up the stupid pills in Inheritor stories?

In Spider-Verse you vaguely had the excuse that really only Peter and maybe Doc Ock would know of that weakness but after that story everyone knew of that weakness and no one is trying to exploit it. I get that you need recruits but if you HAVE a means of beating them then maybe USE it? For fuck’s sake Doc Ock is a specialist in radiology!

This next criticism is a little more debatable I will admit.

In the context of this situation...is it really believable that there would be a roughly equal number of people opposed to killing the Inheritors?

Of course there would be some but there seems to be about as many opposing the idea as supporting it. In fact the book is (superficially) framing both sides as neither wholly right or wrong.

But...is that really the case?

Touchy subject here but...this is a genuine bona fide war for survival. The Inheritors were actively engaging in genocide in their killing spree last time and were trying to achieve an endgame of eradicating all spider totems, willing to murder a baby to do that.

Now you might be saying it’s right and proper for there to be a side opposed to the killing. Because Spider-Man has a no kill rule right?

And that’s true...usually...Because....he has actually taken life a few times. Sometimes deliberately. He’s no Punisher or even Captain America but it’s happened.

In fact in Morlun’s first story Peter very seriously considers for a moment how far he’s willing to go to stop Morlun once he has him at his mercy. He’s spared the decision but it’s really not clear cut what he would’ve done. In fact he outright murders Morlun in their next encounter, granted he was not in control of himself.

Now of course you have got situations like Maximum Carnage wherein Spider-Man has considered but ultimately rejected killing as a viable option, and that was also a sort of war too, one in which you had some nasty characters indeed.

Buuuuuuuut...there are important differences.

First of all Carnage and his gang were very possibly not as physically imposing as the Inheritors. Carnage was their biggest gun and he was stronger than Venom and Spidey combined. But Shriek wasn’t. Demo-Goblin wasn’t. Doppelganger wasn’t. They had their own strengths and weaknesses and none of them were push overs by any means. But it wasn’t like the only hope anyone had of taking them down in a fair fight was with sheer weight of numbers. The Inheritors are essentially a gang of Carnage’s but who can kill and weaken with just a touch.

Carnage specifically also had a more easily exploitable weakness that enabled him to be subdued more easily. Sonics and fire are easier to come by and safer to use than radiation. Remember the Inheritors might be vulnerable to radiation but it’s like how Superman is vulnerable to magic. It’s not their specific Achilles Heel like with kryptonite or sonics/fire, it’s just something beyond the limits of their durability.

Team Carnage was also not as much of a threat. Okay the Inheritors arguably might only target totems instead of civilians in general, but Carnage’s limited technology and means of travel meant he was at worst a citywide threat. The Inheritors are a multiversal threat at least to totems.

Another crucial factor here is that as weird as this might be to say now, Team Carnage had some hope of reform, whereas the Inheritors really don’t. Carnage and his crew were mostly mentally disturbed individuals with homicidal tendencies and super powers. In theory they could maybe be cured of their mental instability or their abilities. This isn’t the case with the Inheritors because they aren’t crazy at all. Mass murderers yes, but not crazy. As cartoonishly evil as they are, fundamentally they do what they do to survive. They kill the totems because they literally eat them, that’s how they are biologically constructed. They were trying to wipe out all spider totems to neutralize future threats to themselves. To hope for them to reform is akin to hoping a lion will turn vegetarian, it’s never going to happen because it’s in their nature to be what they are. They could be nicer, they could be unwilling to kill civilians to reach their goals, maaaaaaaybe they could even be convinced to not try and en masse wipe out all spider totems.

But fundamentally they do what they do because of the food chain and the Spider-Heroes of this story are their menu options.

This goes beyond the morality of taking life, it’s survival plain and simple made clearer cut because the Inheritors are willing to kill those in the way of their snack time.

Finally, and perhaps most crucially, not killing the Inheritors in Spider-Verse was arguably an option because there was a viable means of containing them long term (even though eating radioactive mutant spiders would surely kill them but whatever).

In this story, that option is dead in the water. They haven’t got the means to imprison them the way Team Carnage could be imprisoned and potentially rehabilitated.

So with all this said I find it seriously questionable that the story would even bother framing this as a true blue ‘debate’. Killing them is at least as morally justified as killing Nazis in a fire fight during WWII would’ve been.

I also debate some of the people who’re on Miles’ ‘no kill’ team.

I mean RYV Peter Parker...he did literally kill Venom. And I know RYV #5 by Slott tried to make out he was renewing his no kill vow by not killing the Regent but like...he wasn’t in the wrong really for killing Venom in the first place.

Maybe this is justified on the grounds that they didn’t know of the schism between the two groups and just stuck with whatever group initially recruited them.

In the flipside I find it a little unbelievable that Gamerverse Spidey is so unfazed by Otto’s willingness to kill. From what we’ve seen of his character, I dunno I don’t get that impression of him at all. At least he’d question it and morally wrestle with it to some extent. But he just goes along with it.

In fact that describes his whole character thus far in the main event. After issue #0 (which in hindsight was released when it was because the game was at it’s hottest) his appearance here amounts to being shocked by Leopardon and making a few quips and that’s it. He’s basically here for the same reason Peter was in New Avengers, boost sales via investment in him, so he shows up to do the bare minimum. Although what makes me raise an eyebrow is if his multiverse saving adventure where he met a giant robot will ever be mentioned again. I doubt it will. Also doesn’t it make more sense for him to be on Miles’ team given his history with Miles, his comparatively more similar morality and the fact that there is an MJ on his team? It seems way more full of potential drama if nothing else; but like I said this series isn’t interested in that so much as playing with variant action figures.

Now speaking of Leopardon, unquestionably he and Supaidaman (along with Spider-Ham in fairness) stole the show. The gag scene about leading with the sword was genuinely great especially if you’ve seen shows like the 1970s Japanese Spidey show or Power Rangers/Super Sentai.

Other positives include the art and Ben Reilly not being a jerkoff. Now I’m reading this having NOT read his solo-book that preceded this so maybe he’s out of character and I just don’t know.

Something that is a positive and a negative is the use of Otto and Miles.

Obviously pushing Miles and/or (especially) Otto over Peter would typically piss me the fuck off.

As would doing a story so outside of what a Spider-Man story should be.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...I have come to appreciate some caveats to that in the context of this series.

Spider-Geddon mercifully didn’t derailing Peter (or to my knowledge Miles’) solo books the way Spider-Verse did. Even in Spec from what I’ve read it’s just Spider-Man and Morlun punching each other on the streets which mitigates the mysticism that typically shouldn’t be in a Spider-Man story. Plus Zdarsky’s (crappy) Spec run had wrapped up when Spider-Geddon hijacked Spec.

Spider-Geddon is in a sense off to the side, it’s own mini-series and can thus be it’s own thing. The tie-ins to it from other titles (like Spider-Gwen) is another discussion and I’m not reading everything because I don’t hate myself enough to do that.

Not only does this mostly mitigate it not being what a Spider-Man story should usually be (because it’s a Spider-Man universe story off to the side, not a Peter Parker or Miles story in their own books) but it also better justifies Miles and Otto getting the spotlight.

Whilst in Spider-Verse it was insulting that Peter wasn’t the main character in his own book, because this isn’t happening in his own book (but he is still the lead in his tie-ins to the main story) it makes his absence from the spotlight okay.

In theory it even makes Otto’s presence in the spotlight okay...were it not for him being an asshat painted as more morally greyer than an asshat.

That however does bring up the problem that this series was both advertised as and specifically exists to serve Miles first and foremost. This series was supposed to make bank off the public awareness of Into the Spider-Verse but Miles is at best the secondary character in this cast of thousands vs. Otto who is clearly the primary character. He gets more panel time, he gets more exploration of his personality...even if that mostly amounts to obnoxiously repeating ‘the die is cast’ over and over.

It doesn’t help when the narrative, in spite of it’s pretences of even handedness, subtly paints Otto as in the right and much smarter than Miles.

Sticking with the issue of leadership I get that this event exists to primarily (in theory) serve Miles and secondarily (in theory) serve Otto (in practice it is the reverse) because one was getting a movie and the other was getting a solo book.

So it adds up then that they’d be the leaders of their respective factions....but...surely on Miles’ team there were more qualified people?

Miles is an inexperienced kid who to my understanding has never operated as a leader in a team. You have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more experienced Spider-Heroes there some of whom may have worked as leaders before so...why is Miles leader in-story exactly?

I mean think about it, Peter was made leader of a faction in Spider-Verse because he succeeded in beating Morlun and/or he was the Chosen One or something right?

But...RYV Peter is right there. He’s identical to 616 Peter in almost every way except he

a) Didn’t have 10+ years of shitty Brand New Day and Slott stories to live through...which automatically makes him better than 616 Peter if anything, and

b) He’s had over 8 years worth of experience functioning as part of a team and arguably the leader of it to, or at least co-leader with MJ

Surely he is more qualified than Miles?

Another sort of double edged sword presented in this issue is how it handles tie-ins.

Spider-Verse is slightly notorious for Slott outright lying in claiming that you wouldn’t need to read the tie-ins to follow the story but of course you did.

However to Spider-Geddon’s credit that’s only been the case in regards to issue #0. Most everything of significance that has happened outside the main books has been shown or referenced enough that you could follow the main book thus far without having read anything else. Yes, this does still make the book feel like an anthology add for everything else but it’s done better than Spider-Verse is what I’m saying.

One thing that is a hold over problem though is the wonky timeline.

I said of issue #2 that it weirdly happens before issue #0 and shows us stuff that happens after the first Spec tie-in issue. Well issue #3 continues that trend.

Whilst Spider-Geddon #2 showed us something that surely happens after the first Spec tie-in issue (thus ruining it’s cliffhanger) but Spider-Geddon #3 seems to give us the resolution to that second tie-in issue as well because we learn Peter chooses to fight Morlun in order to keep him occupied and make everyone else’s jobs’ easier.

Um....nice to be told that in this issue rather than be shown it in Peter’s own book.

And before you ask if I just read things out of order I double checked and the second Spec tie-in issue was in fact released after Spider-Geddon #3 so the editor(s) fucked up big time.

It’s also a decision that seriously hurts the main book if they stick to it going forward.

Because Morlun for the strong first impression he had...was really never one of the more interesting or colourful of Spider-Man’s enemies.

And his family are even blander variant action figure versions of him.

Verna is Female Morlun.

Daemos is Bigger, Dumber, more Brutish Morlun.

Brix and Bora are ‘Those Ghost Twins from Matrix Reloaded’ Morlun...who also take out whips and pose as if it’s fight time for no reason in that one panel randomly.

Jennix is Scientist Morlun if he also ripping off Ra’s Al Ghul.

And Solus is Old Morlun who looks like evil Santa Claus.

If Morlun isbread with some thinly spread butter, then his family has no butter and has dried out a lot.

Like honestly how much of a difference would it have made if you swapped out 2 of the 4 Inheritors in this story with Verna and Morlun who were absent? Nothing sans the fact that you needed Jennix to do science stuff but even then he wasn’t very good at it. And that’s the plot too. He’s a super cloning genius but he can’t figure out New U tech. Um....okay that is weird.

Moving on, this is more a point in connection to Spider-Force than this comic but Otto claims that he handpicked the members of that team.

This raises some questions.

1) How? I get Ashley Barton, Kaine and Jessica Drew. He knows all of them, but how could he have known about Charlie?

2) Spider-Force claims that the strike force was assembled because they don’t mind dying. Now this is inconsistent in the issue itself but for the sake of argument let’s say it was true, how would Doc Ock know any of those people sans maybe Ashley wouldn’t mind dying. Maybe also Kaine but I’d imagine his bad blood with Kaine would colour his perceptions on that one. With Jessica and Charlie...there is no reason for him to think that that I can think of.

3) Now in fairness the attitude and skillset of that team does make them well suited to a strikeforce...except Charlie. He seems tough and streetwise...why does this make him a great fit for that team, someone Otto would handpick??????????

Let’s stick with Scarlet Spiders for a moment.

So Ben Reilly’s 27th clone says dying all those times turned him wonky. Okay that’s not too bad. But also all the other spiders met him and he already explained himself to them and endeared himself to them.

Again...why are we telling but not showing. Ben Reilly (after recently being basically an evil businessman) meets a version of Norman Osborn? Where was that juicy scene??????

Let’s change gears here and talk something more superficial briefly.

So the art was....good. Different artists from the last 2 issues and it shows but not bad art by any means. The transition from one artist to another is a little noticeably but the styles are similar enough and both look good enough (great even) that it’s not a problem.

The fight scenes sans anything involving Leopardon though...are. They’re just so bland and functional, there is no sense of dynamism or choreography to them. I blame there being too many characters along with the Inheritor’s boring visual designs.

Ironically for all my gripes the last scene of the comic was...intriguing.

I didn’t read the Edge of Spider-Geddon issue introducing Norman Osborn Spider-Man...but now I just might do that.

The idea of Norman being Spider-Man is already kind of interesting.

But more poignantly the idea that whilst Miles and Otto have divided the team along moral lines and the Inheritors are also out there, there is now a small, secret fourth faction working their own agenda makes this way more interesting.

It hints that Spider-Geddon will become more like a real war and have people running their own agendas. And Norman is a great choice to make that faction. What’s so delectable also is Norman isn’t even making a power play out of selfishness per se. He like Miles and Otto is seeking to win the war, beat the Inheritors and above all else survive, but he’s just considering yet more extreme methods to do it. In a very abstract way it’s a little like how Xavier and Magneto fundamentally disagree about their methods regarding mutantkind but they are united in fundamentally disagreeing with Apocalypse third extremist option.

So over all...I can’t say I disliked reading this issue. A first for the main Spider-Geddon book I must admit.

P.S. the cover lied. No fight between the factions and no Superior Ock

14 notes · View notes

descentale · 8 years ago

Text

Descentale: Prologue, and a preview of Chapter One!

I really didn’t want to post any part of the Descentale re-write until I had the first chapter finished, but... it’s been months??? I’m a horrible person???? So I’m making up for it by posting the prologue, as well as a preview as of the as-of-yet-unfinished Chapter One!

I’m posting the prologue here first, then I’ll be posting it on Archive of Our Own (after I take down the original version of Descentale).

I let people down... I don’t want to do it again... so here it is, the prologue of this fanfic that honestly should have had its first chapter finished a long damn time ago. And a sneak peek of that same damned first chapter.

Enjoy... and... I’m sorry. I love you all so much.

(Just to warn you, I did re-use old bits from the original Descentale for these. So please don’t be too disappointed...)

Descentale

An Undertale Fanfiction

By Melissa E.M.

---

Prologue

---

Once upon a time, in the year 202X, a child named Frisk fell into the underground of Mt. Ebott, a place where it is said no one returns from.

Frisk entered the Monster Kingdom, where they befriended everyone they met. Through their DETERMINATION, they were able to help shatter the barrier that kept monsters underground.

Returning to the surface with their new friends, Frisk took on the role of monster ambassador, and helped spread the word about how friendly and peace-loving monsters truly were.

Humanity, for the most part, welcomed their long-forgotten neighbors. To make up for the cruel and hateful actions of their ancestors, the humans helped build a large settlement at the base of Mt. Ebott for monsters to live in. The mountain and much of the surrounding land now belonged to monster-kind.

Nearly two years later...

Frisk is now living with Toriel, Sans, and Papyrus as one happy family. Little do they know, someone has been watching them for quite some time now.

Not only that, but this person has also been watching certain other humans as well... humans that all share something in common with them.

And one such human is moving into the monster settlement with their child.

Name Frisk's partner.

CHARA_

The true name.

CHARA

No Yes

---

SNEAK PEEK!!!

Chapter One:

“Dust, Magic, and Water”

---

It had been nearly two years since monsters were freed from beneath Mt. Ebott, and for many, it was a rather exciting time. Humans had reacted with shock and awe upon being reintroduced to their unusual neighbors from the Underground. Some humans were fearful, and some were blindly hateful, both because monsters being real was something new and different that they didn't understand. Fortunately, thanks to Frisk's hard work and natural charisma, most humans were accepting and welcoming to monsters, and they even helped them get settled in on the surface. It was decreed by human leaders that Mt. Ebott would become a monster reservation, and a the beginnings of a large city was built surrounding the base of the mountain. King Asgore Dreemurr, still lacking in creativity as much as ever, named this city “New New Home”.

For a while, Frisk was the only human who lived in New New Home. Any other humans that showed up were usually tourists wanting pictures of monsters, or various human officials whom they had meetings with at the monster embassy office. Eventually, however, humans began showing interest in living in New New Home. Asgore consulted with his former wife, Toriel, on the matter. The king was more than willing to open the doors to any humans interested in befriending their kind, but he wondered if it was too soon for this. The city had not been standing all that long, after all, and despite the city's size, the monster population was already quite high. Toriel, in response, pointed out that it would improve relations between monsters and humans if their doors were opened to them. Plus, any humans living among them would give incentive to human leaders to provide monetary assistance that would improve quality of life in New New Home. Besides, with all the gold monsters possessed, she felt that they had plenty of resources to build as many homes for humans as needed. And so, open-minded humans looking for a cheaper, cleaner, more positive place to live took up residence in New New Home.

Frisk didn't mind having human neighbors, especially when they turned out to be far nicer and more accepting than most other humans they'd met in the past. However, it was around other human children that the monster ambassador found themselves feeling nervous. They never explained why to Toriel or their friends, but Frisk knew all too well how cruel human children could be. Frisk often recalled watching those chilling tapes from the True Laboratory, and how sick to their stomach it made them.

“I... I don't like this idea, Chara. Wh... what? N-no, I'm not... big kids don't cry. Yeah, you're right. No! I'd never doubt you, Chara... Never! Y...yeah! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone. I'll go get the flowers.”

Poor Asriel. Chara had not been kind to their brother. They had manipulated and abused the young prince. And Frisk knew that they knew this, judging by the way their shared soul reacted to that conversation. Frisk remembered when, after the Barrier had broken, Asriel told them that Chara wasn't the greatest person; Chara had not taken those words well, judging by the wave of sorrow that overtook Frisk's soul in that instant. Thank goodness Frisk had such a good poker face. The last thing Asriel needed was to see their friend cry.

It was strange... Frisk had not felt Chara's presence ever since they walked away with Toriel from Mt. Ebott that fateful day. It was as though Chara's spirit was tied to the Underground. Frisk supposed that, for as long as Chara remained buried beneath those flowers in the Ruins, they would be stuck there forever. And yet, despite this, Chara's happier memories with Asriel often echoed in Frisk's dreams. Frisk could never forget those images, no matter how hard they tried; those memories were like a residue left behind on their soul long after Chara had left. They left Frisk feeling melancholy; the love between the two siblings warmed their heart, but knowing what became of that relationship, what became of those two children no older than Frisk themselves, was devastating.

Not to mention, Frisk was rather disturbed by Chara's appearance. They had a different skin tone than Frisk's, as well as large eyes, rosy cheeks, and a seemingly innocent smile. But they were also the same height as Frisk. Their hair, though a different color, was styled in the same fashion as Frisk's. The shape of their face was the same, too. They even wore a striped shirt. It was almost like looking into a mirror. No wonder Asriel had mistaken Frisk to be Chara.

So, imagine just how Frisk felt one Saturday afternoon when they saw whom they thought was Chara walking in broad daylight towards their front yard.

Frisk had playing with a stick by dragging gently it across the yard's white picket fence and listening to the resulting sounds. Their head perked up at someone chirping “Hello!” in a cheerful, high-pitched voice. Frisk dropped their stick in shock when they saw who had spoken. It was a child, no older than themselves, and though they lacked the striped shirt and rosy cheeks, they looked a great deal like Chara. Frisk stared at them, too frightened to move or make a sound.

“Oh, did I scare you?” asked the child. “I'm sorry! P-please, don't be upset! I... I was just trying to say hi!”

Frisk processed the child's words. Their voice did not sound like Chara's had in Frisk's mind. They did not speak like Chara did. And they seemed a bit more feminine than Chara was. But the hair, the eyes, the skin tone, even the shape of the face, those were the same.

Frisk swallowed hard. “... Who are you?” they asked quietly.

“Me? Um, my name's Patricia!” the child responded nervously. “But everyone calls me Pat,” she added with anxious smile. “I just moved to this town with my mom!”

Frisk let out a breath they didn't know they'd been holding. Not Chara. Thank goodness. “So... you're new here? When did you get here?”

Pat, seeing Frisk relax a bit, sighed with relief before speaking. “Mom and I just finished moving everything in last night! I was helping Mom unpack boxes today, but I got super-bored. Mom said I could go explore the city as long as I had my smartphone with me, so... here I am! So, what's your name?”

Ah, so she didn't recognize them? Frisk wasn't self-absorbed, but they did know their reputation preceded them quite a bit. How would Pat react once she found out who she was talking to? Time to find out. “I'm Frisk Dreemurr,” they said with a smile.

Pat's jaw dropped. “WHAT!? Y-you're Frisk Dreemurr!? The monster ambassador!? No way! How did I not recognize you, oh my god!? I am so sorry, I didn't realize who you were!”

Frisk couldn't help but giggle a bit. “Hey, that's okay. I don't expect everyone to know who I am.”

“Ugh, but I should have known!” said Pat, slapping her own forehead in frustration. “Before I even moved here, my mom and I have been keeping up-to-date on monster-related news. You'd think I'd remember what the kid who saved an entire civilization looked like!”

Frisk fought back a grin of amusement. “Aw, I'm not that special. I'm just a kid like you, you know?”

Pat shook her head. “You're definitely not like me, Frisk. You freed an entire race of people from a centuries-old prison. You're a hero.”

“Who says you can't be a hero, too?” asked Frisk. “You can be anything you want to be if you're determined enough.”

“I don't know about that,” said Pat. “My mom told me that just because you want something bad enough, it doesn't always mean you'll get it, no matter how hard you try. So, as cool as being a hero would be... I'd rather be a bit more realistic in my goals.”

“Well, what do you want to be, then?” asked Frisk.

“A rock star!” Pat declared, striking an epic pose. “I've been playing guitar since I was three years old! I took lessons from my grandpa, and then taught myself further by watching videos online! My mom says I'm really talented!”

“That's cool!” said Frisk with a nod. “I'd like to hear you play someday.”

“R-really!? You wanna hear me play!?” squealed Pat excitedly. “I'd love to play you some music, Frisk! My guitar and amplifier haven't been unpacked yet, but once they are, I'll come right over with them and play you a concert! Would you like that? Because I know I would!”

Frisk grinned. “Sure!”

Pat pumped her fist in the air. “Sweet! I can't wait!”

Frisk turned when they heard the front door open behind them. Toriel was standing in the doorway on the front porch, wearing an apron over a purple dress. “Frisk? Who are you talking to, dear? Have you made a new friend?” The boss monster came down the creaky steps, approached the fence and stood beside Frisk. No sooner did she do so that she froze and gasped quietly, mouth agape as she stared at Pat.

Frisk knew exactly what their mother was thinking. They had to defuse the situation before it became awkward. “Uh, Mom? This is Pat. She and her mom just moved to New New Home,” Frisk explained quickly.

“Uh, h-hi!” stuttered Pat. She looked nervous, perhaps thinking she had offended Frisk's mother somehow.

Toriel stared a few seconds longer before she inhaled deeply and took on a calmer expression. “Oh, I do apologize. Greetings, Pat. Forgive me, but you look so much like another human I used to know. For a moment, I thought was looking at a spirit!”

“Oh, is that all? Thank goodness,” said Pat. “I thought maybe I'd done something wrong.”

“Oh, no, not at all, my child!” Toriel assured her. “I was just a bit surprised, that's all. So, you are living here with your mother?”

“Yes, ma'am!” Pat confirmed with a nod.

“Well, allow me to give you a warm welcome! I am Toriel, Frisk's mother,” said the boss monster.

“Pleased to meet you!” Pat chirped. “Say, aren't you the ex-queen of the monsters? You're so much prettier in person!”

Toriel blushed. “Oh! Why... thank you, my child! I do appreciate the compliment,” she said with a giggle. “And to answer your question... yes, I was queen once. However, I gave up my crown quite a long time ago. While I am still somewhat looked to as a leader... and though my former husband looks to me for advice now and then...” she added with a slight grimace, “I have the far more humble title of teacher now,” she ended with a smile.

“You're a teacher?”

“Yes! I started a school here in New New Home called Delta Rune Elementary. I assume you will be continuing your education there now that you live here, yes?”

“Uh-huh! That's what mom tells me,” said Pat. “I'm... I'm a bit nervous, though. I know monsters are supposed to be really nice – and you seem really nice too, Miss Toriel! – but I've never been in a school full of them before... I'll be an odd one out...” Pat cast her gaze downward. “Plus... my mom... she's very different from most other humans and...” Her voice trailed off.

Toriel opened the gate of the fence and stepped out in front of Pat. She knelt down before her and spoke in a kind, warm voice only an experienced mother would have. “Do not fret, my child. If it makes you feel any better, there are a few other humans your age at my school. You will not be an odd one out. I will admit, however, you will be a minority. But I will do everything in my power to make sure you feel welcome and included among the other children. I make sure of this for all the students that attend Delta Rune. So, worry not.”

“Thank you, Miss Toriel,” said Pat quietly, still looking down. “But...”

“But?” inquired Toriel patiently.

“... Like I said. My mom. She's... she's not like most other humans. She's different. At my old school, I got teased for it.”

“Oh? How is your mother different?” asked Toriel.

Frisk leaned forward on the fence, just as curious about Pat's answer.

“Mom... she has... um... Miss Toriel, do you know what autism is?” asked Pat.

Toriel nodded. “Indeed! I have a couple of human students who have it. I familiarized myself with it through much personal research, in an effort to make the learning environment more comfortable for them.”

“Oh, good. Well... my mom has autism, Miss Toriel,” Pat explained. “She's high-functioning, so she can hold a job and take care of us both just fine. But... the kids at my old school kept teasing me. They called my mom bad names, and they accused me of being autistic, too, as an insult. They think being autistic means you're stupid. B-but... my mom isn't stupid!” she insisted. “She's really smart! And she's super-nice!” Her voice cracked, and a tear ran down her face. “Even some of the adults said bad things about my mom! She already has enough issues to deal with! She... she doesn't need...!”

Without any prompting, Toriel wrapped her arms around Pat and gently held her close. Pat returned the embrace automatically, gripping her tightly and sobbing into the boss monster's shoulder. “There, there, my child,” Toriel soothed her. “I promise you, I will personally see to it that your mother feels welcome here in New New Home. I know very well that having autism does not make a human stupid. One of my autistic students gets exceptional grades, and though the other has their share of difficulties, I know they too have areas of great expertise.” She stroked Pat's back as she continued. “I am so glad that you love and accept your mother the way she is, even with all that you have been through. You are a very strong child, Pat. I cannot begin to imagine how painful those experiences were for you.”

“I... I don't feel strong!” Pat wept. “Look at me, I'm crying! Big kids don't cry!” Frisk felt a twinge of discomfort when she said that.

“Well, of course they do!” said Toriel. “Do not be silly! Everyone cries sometimes, Pat. It does not matter how big or little you are. Even I cry sometimes! Right, Frisk?”

Frisk stepped closer and placed a hand on Pat's right shoulder. “Mom cries at Disney movies all the time. You should have seen her when we first watched Bambi together! She was like a water fountain.”

Toriel rolled her eyes playfully. “That is a bit of an exaggeration, Frisk, dear. But yes, I did cry quite a bit. I am not ashamed of my tears, and you should certainly not be ashamed of yours, Pat. Besides, we have only just met, and here you are crying openly in front of us. That takes a lot of bravery, to show your true emotions.”

Pat pulled away to look up at Toriel, her eyes still wet. “You... you think I'm brave? Really?”

Toriel nodded. “Absolutely.”

Pat wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her pink shirt. “Thank you, Miss Toriel... that makes me feel a little better.”

“I am very glad,” said Toriel with a smile. “Now then... how would you like to come inside for a little bit and have a drink? I know humans are mostly made of water, and you seem to have lost quite a bit of that just now.”

Pat chuckled a bit. “Yeah... I guess I did, huh? Sure, I can come inside for a while. Mom just wants me to be home before dark.”

“Wonderful!” said Toriel, standing back up. “Would you like water, juice, milk, or perhaps some lemonade? I just made the lemonade today, and it should be nice and chilled by now.”

“Homemade lemonade!?” cried Pat happily. “Oh my gosh, yes, please!”

Toriel laughed. “Very well, then! Come along, children!” She made her way past the gate and motioned for Pat and Frisk to follow her. The two children followed close behind, Frisk walking behind Pat as they reflected on what had just occurred. Pat did not seem anything like Chara personality-wise, but there was no mistaking the resemblance physically, especially now that Toriel confirmed it. Did Pat's mother look like Chara, too? Were they related to Chara?

Perhaps, Frisk thought as they entered the house, it was only a coincidence that Pat looked so much like Chara. There were plenty of humans who looked alike, they knew. Some monsters looked alike, too, like Froggits. Frisk always had a hard time telling any of them apart. Still, if it all really was a coincidence, it was quite a big one. But... it couldn't hurt to find out more about Pat's family, right?

#descentale #undertale #fanfiction #descentale prologue #descentale chapter preview #frisk (undertale)#toriel #chara (undertale)#pat thyssens #frisk #chara #asriel dreemurr

3 notes · View notes

marie85marketing · 7 years ago

Text

Are You Being Difficult? How the “Hidden Work” in Your Onboarding Emails Kills New User Engagement (And What You Should Do About It)

Have you ever tried to take apart a high-end file cabinet?

We’re talking about the kind built with such thoughtful design that it makes a room look like the “after” shot on an HG-TV home makeover show…instead of the dingy unfinished basement “before” shot.

If you have, you know that taking apart a cabinet like this one is no easy feat. You have to pull out the drawers, crawl inside, and poke and prod all afternoon.

After 3 hours of guessing, you might give up. Or you might press on until you finally crack the code on how it’s built–and then marvel at its brilliance.

You either walk away defeated. Or you finish your project and exclaim that the designer behind it is actually a genius.

What does high-end furniture have to do with your SaaS app?

You may have built the best, most genius, most user-friendly app that completely blows all of the other apps out of the water.

But if you hide your app’s brilliant usability behind opaque instructions, you might lose your new users before they even have a chance to get started.

How do you bring your app into the light? You need to get rid of the “hidden work” in your onboarding emails.

Hidden work is the work you unintentionally create for your new users when you send them onboarding emails that don’t give enough information for readers to do what you’re asking them to do.

Onboarding emails that eliminate hidden work are the difference between new users giving up on your app–and declaring that it’s actually genius.

If you’re already sending triggered emails to free trial users based on who they are and how they use your app, great. If you want anyone to actually stick with you, your onboarding emails need to clear a path from your new users’ inbox to the task you’re asking them to accomplish. Any resistance you add decreases the likelihood your new users will engage with your app both now–and every time you ask them to do something in the future.

According to a study published by Nobuhiro Hagura, Patrick Haggard, and Jörn Diedrichsen out of University College London, we decide whether we’re going to do something based on whether the task at hand seems easy AND based on whether we’ve faced resistance when we’ve performed similar tasks in the past.

“…we demonstrate that the motor cost involved in responding to a visual classification task is integrated into the perceptual decision process. Our everyday perceptual decisions seem to be solely based on the incoming sensory input. They may be, however, influenced by the preceding history of physical cost of responding to such input. The cost of our own actions, learned through the life-long experience of interacting with the environment, may partly define how we make perceptual decisions of our surroundings.“

What does this mean for you?

It means that if the first few interactions new users have with your app feel like work, you’re risking two unwanted outcomes:

Your user decides to do nothing today.

The next time they see your name in their inbox, they might already be programmed to think that your app = work, and so they decide to do nothing again.

Eliminating Hidden Work: The 3 Questions Your Onboarding Emails Need to Answer for Your Readers

No matter what you do, you can’t reduce the amount of new user work to zero–nor should you.

In fact, Nir Eyal’s research on habit formation suggests that the work customers invest upfront in learning to use a new tool increases the likelihood that using it will become a habit over time. When we invest our time or other resources in something, we value it more and are therefore less likely to walk away from it. Behavioral psychologists and economists call this “the endowment effect“.

That’s why your goal isn’t to eliminate all work from learning to use a new app. Instead, you need to make sure you’re eliminating the hidden work that you create when you don’t give your readers the ability and motivation to act. According to BJ Fogg’s Behavioral Model, ability and motivation are 2 of the 3 ingredients your new user needs to complete a task. The third is a trigger.

Your email tool sends the trigger. Your email copy provides the ability and motivation.

To make sure you have all 3 ingredients in your onboarding strategy, your email copy needs to answer these 3 questions for your new users.

Question #1: “Where do I do this?”

Imagine you’re lost in the middle of the woods. You meet a fellow hiker and ask where the closest shelter is. He replies, “Oh you just go find the trail and follow it. It’s simple!”

Only you don’t know whether you should head north or west. You don’t know if it’s a 10 minute walk or a 2 day trek.

If you’re stuck in the woods, you keep going because….you’re lost in the woods! But if you’re learning a new app, you might give up. You might try a competitor’s tool instead. You might decide that learning the app is more work than the problem the app solves.

Your new users can and will give up when things get difficult. That’s why you need to provide a crystal clear path forward for your new user to complete the task at hand. You can do this by joining the conversation happening in their head.

Your reader is asking, “Where do I do this?”

Your onboarding emails need to say, “Go here to do this.”

This means actually linking to the in-app page where users can do the thing you’re asking them to do.

Unfortunately, onboarding emails frequently fall short of this goal. Take a look at this email:

I’ve drawn red outlines around all of the places where this email asks its readers to do something without showing them where to do it.

This email asks its readers to do at least 8 things in at least 3 places (it’s hard to tell for sure), but there is not a single link or screenshot to make it easy for readers to do anything at all. When you force a reader to figure out where to go next, you create work. When you create work, you create enough resistance for users to give up and do nothing.

The Fix: Point your reader to their next click

When I began but didn’t finish the signup process for a free trial of Privy, I got this email.

Instead of telling me all the different things that I’ll be able to do with Privy, this email is focused exclusively on getting me to complete the setup process–and it shows me exactly where to click in this email to make that happen.

The button is clearly labeled and centrally positioned. If I’m unsure how to install Privy code on my site, I can click the link that matches my platform and get more instructions.

Not only does this email show me where to go next but it also gives me support links easily marked so I know which one is right for me.

Question #2: “How do I do this?”

The new Customer Engagement Automation tool (CEA) from Kissmetrics gives you the analytics to help you figure out what people are doing and whether they might need help–but analytics alone don’t close sales. It’s up to you to combine analytics with copywriting to send emails that make it easy for readers to do what you’re asking them to do.

When I signed up for a job posting app, I got an email with the subject line: “Would you like to post a job on [platform name redacted]?” Unfortunately, I opened it and saw that there were no instructions on how to actually post a job.

This email pulls a bait and switch. The subject line asks if I want to post a job, but the body copy doesn’t show me how.

Sure, it might be helpful to show me how to write job descriptions, but writing job descriptions and posting job descriptions are not the same thing.

Maybe one day I might need help making my post public instead of a draft, but that’s not the messaging I need to hear before I’ve actually posed the job description.

Since I still haven’t posted a job I need someone to show me how to do that first.

The Answer: Provide all of the info on HOW to complete tasks in the email (or one clear click away)

One of my all-time favorite examples is this email from video hosting and analytics company Wistia.

It’s a powerful tool, but you can’t do anything with it until you upload your first video. Fittingly, this onboarding email doesn’t say, “Hey, having trouble getting the analytics on your videos?” before I’ve uploaded my first video.

Instead, it says: Here is step 1. Just do step 1. Here’s a link to do it, here’s a video that will show you how to do it, and here are some links for support if you need it.

This email asks me to do just one thing, shows me how, and gives me ways to get help if I can’t get it done on my own.

Just how powerful is eliminating the hidden work of figuring out how to do something? This email and the other 7 in its sequence (authored by the team behind Copyhackers and Airstory) generated a 350% lift in paid conversions for Wistia.

Question #3: “Why should I bother?”

Someone at book club last week brought up webinars. The conversation went like this:

Friend 1: I had to do this webinar for work.

Friend 2: Uuuuugh webinars. I hate them so much.

Friend 3: Oh I love webinars! I love chatting in the margins. I love the buzz.

You can offer training through webinars, help articles, live demos, on-demand demos, or support videos. But whatever support medium you choose, you’re guaranteed to choose a medium that feels like “work” to some of your new users.

If your new user isn’t signing in because they don’t know how to use your app and the only support you offer them is with webinar invitations, then you’re asking them to do work–and increasing the likelihood they’ll bail.

Additionally, scheduled training forces your reader to consult a calendar in order to learn from you–and context-switching gives them a chance to decide not to come back.

You might have really great stuff in your webinars! But if you don’t explain what’s in it for your reader, it feels like work. And if it feels like all work and no gain, your best prospects won’t do it.

The Fix: Focus on the outcome, not the delivery

The truth is that a webinar is a big commitment and you won’t keep everyone. 60, 30, or even 20 minutes is a lot of time to give up. But even small amounts of time and seemingly small asks can be just as inconvenient to your readers without the right context.

Anne commented on another Kissmetrics copywriting post and she’s right: even simple CTAs sound like work.

To overcome the objections that your readers will inevitably have to taking you up on your offer of support or the small task you ask them to do, your email copy shouldn’t position the medium or the task you’re asking users to complete as the benefit.

Instead, you should answer one of the biggest questions on your readers’ minds:

“So what?”

You want your readers to attend a webinar? So what? What’s in it for them?

You want your new users to start a project? Why should they bother?

Your support channels are like your app’s features: your customers care way less about them than you do. They’re much more interested in the benefits of your app and your support. If you want your prospects to respond to your webinar invitation or to do anything else in your app, stress benefits, not features.

How? Focus on the outcomes your readers can expect as a result of taking you up on your invitation.

Here’s an example from Sumo that positions a webinar as a must-attend event:

This email has everything: 1. Specific results someone got in a specific period of time. 2. Growth techniques I won’t find anywhere else (which means if I don’t show up, I won’t get them). 3. Specifics about what I’m going to get from this webinar. 4. Urgency and scarcity.

In this email, the value is the information on how to grow your business–the webinar is merely the delivery mechanism.

Why Eliminating “Work Words” Isn’t Enough

I’ll be honest: I planned on writing this post to be all about “work words” as a follow-up piece to an earlier Kissmetrics post that kicked off this discussion. I thought it would be a great idea to have a list of “work words” for product marketers to avoid in their CTAs.

I wondered whether the word “workflow” right in the middle of the CTA might make Zapier–which is mind-blowingly easy to use–seem more complicated than it is.

Sean Kennedy (of Zapier and Really Good Emails) also wondered whether the word “Build” could also suggest that there may be “some assembly required” in getting your first Zaps set up.

But it wasn’t long after I started researching and writing this article that I realized a piece on “work words” in CTAs wouldn’t be enough. So much of the “hidden work” in SaaS apps happens before the CTA–which mean that’s where the biggest opportunities to improve engagement are hiding.

While you can and should use language in your CTAs that doesn’t suggest work, that’s only a starting point.

To keep your new users engaged, your onboarding email copy must answer your reader’s questions about where, how, and why they should do what you’re asking them to do.

About the Author: Alli Blum helps SaaS apps build messages that get customers. Want to make sure your emails don’t create hidden work for your prospects? Click to get her copywriting checklist for high-converting SaaS onboarding emails.

0 notes

samiam03x · 7 years ago