#the little introduction here was just a whim

[starlightkyeom]

building blocks | yjh (teaser)

(agreeing to be the teaching assistant is the last thing you want in a semester where you're already swamped with work. but, you need a letter of recommendation from the professor and you're out of other options. enter jeonghan, the menace who signs up for the class seemingly on a whim and disrupts your entire routine.)

pairing: master's student!jeonghan x TA!f!reader genre: university!au, strangers to ?? | fluff, some angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI (for the full fic) word count: 842 for the teaser (est. 12-14k) warnings: none for the teaser (full fic: smut, drinking, eating, etc.) full fic: september 13th!

a/n: i wanted to drop a teaser of my fic for the TA collab hosted by the amazing @camandemstudios. those two have been working so hard on this and i can't wait to read all the fics. but go easy on me because i know next to nothing about structural engineering. credit to @caelesjjk for this banner, it's so amazing 🥰

join my taglist here or leave a comment to be tagged in the full fic!

Your entire academic (and professional, for that matter) career has been a battle. A fight to be taken seriously. A fight to get the right classes. A fight to make the right connections. A fight for every inch that you’ve gotten. There are times that you wonder if it’s all worth it, wonder if anything should be as hard as this. But, all you’ve ever wanted was to be an engineer. To be able to leave your mark in some sort of meaningful way, even if that’s also a little conceited. It’s all you want and you’re so close to getting some much needed room to breathe. 

Except…

You have to make it through one last semester of this damn Master’s program. You had been able to find a sponsor to allow you to commit to a final semester full time, with only part time research work. That’ll put you in a good position to carry on for your Ph.D, with your dissertation topic already picked and funded. Things had been going entirely too smoothly, in hindsight. You should have known. Everything about your application to the upcoming program is perfect. Except for the final recommendation. And, of course, the professor to give that recommendation won’t just give it to you to recognize the years you’ve put into this. No. He implies that there’s something he needs from you.

Nothing really awful, in the grand scheme of things. Not for someone that does want to return as a lecturer at some point down the road. It’s just that you didn’t really want to be forced into a teaching assistant position for Professor Choi’s introductory structural engineering course. It’s the course that weeds out who’s actually going to carry on with the civil engineer branch of the Master’s program from those who may switch out to something that better suits them. Which, again, isn’t a huge deal, except that you remember how burnt out the TA looked from when you took the course and it’s the last thing you need during your last semester. It’s also hard to know that some portion of your future hinges on doing this. It’s also hard to forget another friend of yours admitting Professor Choi had given him a recommendation without the hoops.

Whatever.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and all that. 

So you schedule your regular meetings with the professor, make a separate email folder for all course related communication, jot down the important dates, and figure out which lessons you have to help plan. First up is going to be the introductory class. Professor Choi comes in and introduces himself while you distribute the syllabus, an odd task when everything is available online through the portal, but he likes things in hard copy. Once he’s done his introduction, he leaves the rest of the first class to you, as he had with the TA in your course during your first semester. For a moment, you consider pointing out that this is a Master’s level course and you don’t really need to do the typical introductions. Most of these people have busy lives and, even though they’ll have to work together on projects, can manage without syllabus week. But, Choi is old school and you know it. You also need his letter, so what’s the point in trying to change his system? You’re not here to do anything other than fill a spot that he was having trouble filling, get your letter, and go. 

When you scan the roster before the first day, nobody particularly sticks out. There are a couple of relatively familiar names, though you’re not sure you can place faces to them, but most of the students seem to be in their first semester of the program. It only takes getting to the introductions for someone in the course to stick out.

“Well, I’ve always been good at building Legos. I figure, how different can it really be?” one student answers.

It takes everything in you to school your face back into a politely interested expression when the rest of the class bursts out laughing. Your initial reaction had been incredulity. Surely he couldn’t be serious. There’s no way someone just wandered into this program because he liked building Legos. The laughter from the rest of the class dies down and you keep your attention on him.

“Why did you really join the program?” you ask. That’s what every student was supposed to be sharing. A problem for this student, apparently.

“That is why I joined,” he says with an infuriating smirk. 

“What did you say your name was?” you ask.

“Jeonghan,” he answers without anything else.

You consult the roster in front of you and put a star by his name. This is someone you know you’re going to have to keep an eye on. 

“Did I get a star already?” he prompts, earning another few chuckles from his classmates.

“Something like that,” you say and then turn to the person next to him. “And why did you join?”

i hope you enjoyed it! and less than a week til the full fic is posted 🫣

taglist: @newjihoonie, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @gyuminusone, @aaniag, @straykidswhoo789, @kimseokgen, @beomesbabe, @haolistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @harry-the-pottypus, @okiedokrie-main, @nuttywastelandmentality, @writingbarnes, @gyuhao365, @jjin-kun, @divinityyy, @dibidibidismynameisleeknow, @jelly-n (strikethrough means can't tag)

[unluckilylvcky]

TMNTherapy Group: Welcome Leonardo!

From ancient books of ninjitsu to comic books tucked neatly in the shelves, who better to confide in than the Leonardos? After all, the greatest honor a ninja could ever have is a nice cup of tea! Leonardo made sure that his comrades would feel right at home!

What is TMNTherapy Group about?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Therapy Group, or simply abbreviated to TMNTherapy Group or TMNT Group, is a fun little comic featuring your favorite turtles from all current running cartoon iterations joining together to, well... Get therapy! Or at least, that's what the turtles from the 1987 universe say. In OOC terms, yes, this is basically a crossover au.

Currently, the AU has 5 introduction comics (including this one), 1 filler comic and many more fun and angsty comics to come! Join the '87 verse turtles as they try their best to unite these 3 VERY different turtle iterations with each other! It's gonna be an... Interesting ride, to say the least. Stay tuned!

DO NOTE THAT :

This AU is strictly for fun and is only meant to explore the dynamic of each turtle iterations with each other! Nothing more, nothing less, just all 4 generations of turtles either venting to each other or having fun. None of this is meant to be reflective of real life scenarios, anything of the latter is completely unintentional.

You're gonna notice a watermark on most of these panels, and I can assure you that that is me; my old user! I unfortunately do not have the original files to these, nor do I have the time to redraw these to my current style. I'm pretty sure I stopped watermarking it with my old user after the Raph group intro :]

This was posted on Instagram during October 15th of last year!

Thought I should mention: The lineart quality for this AU is LARGELY inconsistent. I really just wanna have fun with this au so sometimes you're gonna see some clean and cool lineart, but mostly you're gonna have to deal with my sketchy lineart like in this comic haha

Seeing as Instagram is my main platform, you'll have to keep in mind that this format was made with the square format in mind. Stick with me here hehe :^))

Gonna start introducing Bonus Comics! These are just short disconnected comics that I usually include out of a whim. Just click on Keep Reading and you should see it! This will be the only time I'll mention these on the notes section.

<<< Previous: Teenage Mutant Ninja... Therapy Group?!

Next Up: TMNTherapy Group: Welcome Raphael! >>>

Bonus Comic:

[titania-sleeps]

Types of Kisses

no one asked for this but here it is anyway

other works including Mikhael: Mikhael introduction, Coup de Grace (your pov), Coup de Grace (his pov), Samyaza

more works featuring Adonis: Adonis Introduction, Adonis Rides You, Adonis First Heat, Your First Rut

more works featuring Dion: Dion Introduction, Wild Roses and Hawthorns

more works featuring Sea Spirit: Yandere Sea Spirit Headcanons

Mikhael

He worships the very ground you walk upon, so it's only fitting that he kisses the vessels that carry your journey on the earthly floors.

A kiss to the tip of the toes to signify his humble adoration.

A kiss to your ankles, the anchors that allow for you to exist on mortal planes.

A kiss to your shins, the rigid structure that grounds you.

A kiss to your knees, a gentle mark of his pilgrimage to your core.

A kiss to your thighs, the gates that guard his forbidden fruit.

And then he kisses your core, savoring the sweet juices of the fruit he had only ever dreamed of in the past.

He wouldn't ever dare to kiss you on your heavenly lips without your permission, but should you decide to allow him that simple gesture, he would give you featherlike kisses. His lips would brush over yours, a soft smile waltzing on them.

Adonis

His kisses are nervous but always, always filled with passion.

The moment his lips touch yours, he's savoring every bit of the kiss that he can. He usually waits for you to bite his lips as a means to ask for entrance, but if you take too long, he'll whine and lick your lips.

When you inevitably enter him, his tongue comes out to greet you eagerly and takes you into its warm embrace. You don't really need to battle for control since he's already wholly yours, but he plays it up so that it's a little more interesting for you.

Makeout sessions with Adonis never end as just makeout sessions; sooner than later, his pants are coming off and your hands are sliding up his shirt to fondle his nipples.

And then, without you even noticing, you're fucking him and he's begging you to go faster, his tongue lolling out, eyes wide, and cheeks flushed a pretty pink.

Dion

His kisses are filled with a forlorn need and a bottomless desire.

When his mouth meets yours, he seems to swallow all of you. You have to wrestle him a bit to get him to calm down, but he's just so scared. This might be the only time that you allow him to do this, so he has to make as much of it as he can.

He eventually calms down, and your canines puncture his bottom lip, fresh blood trickling from the wound.

He moans into the kiss, saliva and blood mixing in his mouth as your tongue licks it all up.

He's wrapping his arms desperately around you, needing to meld into you, needing to become one. The two of you are meant to be; two immortal beings stranded in a weave of history spun by humanity's whims.

When the two of you part, he presses a kiss to a strand of your hair; a chaste sealing to the passion you've just shared.

He hopes that you don't hate him for this; it's just so hard to contain all the love he's buried for centuries.

Sea Spirit (Unnamed)

When you kiss him, he freezes still. Then he steadily melts into it, a drawn-out moan accidentally escaping his mouth.

His form flows to you, relaxing in your gentle embrace. He wishes that pausing time was within his powers; perhaps if he dragged you underwater with him, he could freeze the waters around the two of you... and you would be with him forever.

His mind drifts off momentarily to all the things he could be doing to keep you with him, but he's brought back to the present by the presence of your tongue in his mouth.

His lips part for you as the sea parts for their messiah, and you are welcomed in by his surging tongue.

He lets you take him entirely; you are the ship that sails his quiet seas, the moon that pulls his merciful tides.

And then he wakes up, disgruntled and disappointed.

No matter... you will be with him soon, and he will love you more than any dream can emulate.

>:3 i'm ready for any multi-oc requests

-> masterlist

[chobani-flip]

rec list of awesome bucktommy fics #1 of ∞

ok. so here's some fics ive read that i loved and i need everyone to read and love as well. more such lists to follow over the summer

Like a Music That's Been Transposed by @faillen

“Hey there, stunner,” Tommy murmured against his mouth once they’d pulled away. “Stunner?” Evan asked, smile bunching up his cheeks. “That’s a new one.” “Mhmm,” Tommy said, pressing a kiss to one of those lovely red cheeks. “You like it?” Evan ducked his head, “Yeah, that one’s uh. That’s pretty good.” His eyes cut back to Tommy and his mouth twisted into a thoughtful moue. “I don’t really have any for you.” “Eh,” Tommy said. “I’m not a big endearment guy.”

Or: Tommy grows into his name.

it is so good, you guys. such an excellent tommy character study.

The Machinery of the Body by @firehose118

Tommy takes one look at the wonderstruck expression on Evan's face after Tommy kisses him that first time and he knows he wants to take Evan apart under his hands like an engine and make him purr. He wants to slowly and carefully clean every rusty bolt Evan never knew he had and put him back together better than he found him.

it is horny and tender. they just care about one another so much 😭😭😭

the skin that binds you by @tiltingheartand

He must make a noise of some kind, because a second later he feels a hand very carefully combing through his curls. Too carefully, actually, although it does feel kind of amazing anyway. “Feeling okay, baby?” Well, good news: at least hearing Tommy’s voice doesn’t make anything worse. “Not really,” he manages, once he unsticks his lips from each other, refusing to move from where he’s got half his face pressed into Tommy’s neck. “Feel like death.” “That’s not as funny as you think it is,” Tommy says, but he’s hugging Buck around the shoulders while he says it. (Buck wakes up with a migraine. Tommy takes care of him.)

they are so good for each other and to each other 😭😭😭

Couched In Metaphor by @alchemistc

BUCK AND TOMMY GO COUCH SHOPPING! THERE'S ALSO EDDIE AND HE IS A GOOD FRIEND! the couch is a metaphor but it's also just a couch and buck and tommy are written so excellently here. i ADORE the way this author sees them and writes them

Your Midnights by Summerunderthesea

He still hadn’t been able to find his footing with Tommy. To find his cool, or to even be able to fake it so that he at least came across as somewhat smooth. At least a bit less of an idiot. So idiodic, non-cool, non-smooth Buck replied with an ‘uhh’. Then, eventually, ‘Yeah. A bit.’ --- A collection of midnights that Buck and Tommy spend together.

a progression of buck and tommy's relationship. so niiiiice.

while you arranged flowers by @newtkelly

Tommy’s eyes catch his and Buck is taken aback by the state of them, blown so black and glassy. He always looks so tongue-in-cheek, like he’s in on some joke and waiting for everyone else to catch on. He doesn’t look like that right now, though. Tommy’s composure is waning—the guy who takes on the world with a million dollar smile and a statuesque cleft chin and flies choppers to Vegas on a whim and into Cat 5 hurricanes to help old friends and kisses clarity into men who thought they were finished figuring themselves out, that guy is just as much a slave to his desire as any mortal man, and Buck is winded by the fact that he’s played any part in that. — Buck’s got a wedding date, but as far as today goes, he’s also got a regular one.

you might have seen the post where i shrieked about another fic of newtkelly, well read this one too. the way they write is so thoughtful and skilled???? shoo, go read!

little by little by @mediawhorefics

a madney wedding coda. it is brilliant. it is beautiful. AND ALSO, the author has an excellent taste in user names. GO READ MEDIA WHORE'S FICS! i shout in the marketplace and i am well heard by all.

Come Fly The Friendly Skies by @rcmclachlan

have you tried to imagine how the initial introductions between buck and tommy during the choppernapping went? no? yes? well, i guarantee you that this brilliant HILARIOUS piece of writing is going to surpass your greatest expectations.

allow me to quote one of my favourite lines at you: "We know you have many options when choosing airlines, so thank you for choosing Kinard Air. Let's begin the boarding process."

yeah, i know if tommy was any cooler of a cucumber that salad would be frozen! isn't it wonderful?!

im also gonna need you to read

@middyblue 's AU where buck works as a Scientist alongside karen and meets tommy when the lab blows up.

THIS IS THE SERIES HERE!!!! THERE ARE TWO FICS (SO FAR) WHOLE TWO FICS!!!!!!! AND IT IS BRILLIANT AND I LOVE IT!!!

Buck's clipboardy-ness is directed towards science! tommy is absolutely turnouts over helmet into him!!!!

ALSO! ALSO!

these are the fics that i keep seeing on rec lists (but that's because they're really fucking good and if you haven't read them yet, do yourself the favour of getting right on that.)

my heart's an autoclave. by @bucktheally

an outlier that should not be counted by @dadvans

prescribed burn by @wakeupnew

you know what actually? all of the authors above? (and any others i mention in the future?) go do the following:

click on subscribe ON THE AUTHOR'S PROFILE

[puhmpken]

this has BEEN edited 🥳🎉

Author’s Note: this may be silly, but i have nagging myself to write this one 😭😭 hope yall like it <33

Warning ⚠️-> none! enjoy ☺️

Title: Hell’s GreatestDadParents !

Alastor X You OneShot

written + edited by @puhmpkins-blog 🎃

W/C: 1.8 K 🥱 not sm this time around

The room was dimly lit, the air heavy with tension. You sat perched on the edge of the queen-sized bed, your arms crossed. The fabric of your knee-length dress rustled as you shifted–avoiding eye contact with a certain red-haired demon who stood in the doorway.

“Unfair, Al,” You muttered, your voice ringing out lowly.

Alastor’s response was swift, his tone unwavering. “Dearie, not everything I want you to do will be fair. Just listen and do as you’re told.” His footsteps echoed as he closed the distance, bold strides carrying him toward you. His tuxedo jacket was impeccably tailored, and he adjusted the sleeves with a flick of his wrist.

“I need you to come to the hotel with me,” Alastor continued, his crimson eyes piercing. “Help me persuade the princess to listen to me more.” His fist clenched, and a surge of green energy erupted from his palm. “Can you do that for me?”

You nodded.

His smile was unsettling, a blend of charm and menace. “Excellent, dear,” Alastor murmured.

Your smile stretched as Lucifer's eyed you–He recognized you.

Charlie’s cheerful introduction echoed in the room, and you gracefully stood, leaving the bar behind.

“And this is Alastor's wife! (Y/n)” Charlie said happily

 Your hand extended toward Lucifer,

“Lucifer,” you greeted, your voice a velvet whisper. “Long time no see, old friend.” 

As your fingers brushed his, the chandelier above swayed, then plummeted, shattering into shards. Lucifer flinched, his gaze darting to the wreckage. But your smile only widened, revealing your sharp teeth.

Retracting your hand, you moved past him, joining Alastor’s side.

Lucifer bangs covered his eyes, his smile bared his teeth as he fist clenched on his staff 

“haha..alrighty then” He said lowly  

The blare of a trumpet was heard making you put your ears down

“Looks like you could use some help” Lucifer said swiping his cane in the air making Alastor and You dodge it, as he moved Charlie away from the both of you 

“From the Big Boss of Hell himself!

Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp” 

Mini little puppets appeared around Charlie, you kept your arms crossed watching him sing about the same thing he always does..the things he could promise 

“Who needs buspeople?” he asks, snapping his finger. The scenery morphed, reality bending to his whims.

You, now changed, were in a crisp standard waitress outfit, balancing a silver platter on one hand as Charlie sat beside your standing figure.

Standing at Charlie other-side was Alastor, he was in a server outfit pouring red wine into a chalet for Charlie

 Lucifer’s voice cut through the air

“Now that you got the chef!” 

The ground shifted below you before Alastor and you plummeted into a colossal frying pan. The impact jarred your bones, but you landed on your back—luckier than Alastor, who fell face-first, his ears pinning back in probably discomfort 

The scene shifted, reality bending like a mirage.

You groaned, your normal size restored. Revenge simmered within you;surely you had to get him back for him messing around with you..?

Lucifer’s pitch lacked conviction. His promises were half-hearted. 

(f/c) swirls manifested around you–Both you and Alastor vanished, then reappeared before Lucifer, neon colors exploding from your very essence as he finished his song note

Slinging an arm around Lucifer, you feigned warmth, as if about to embrace him. But instead, you pushed him toward Alastor

“Who’s been here since day 1?” Alastor sang to Charlie, catching Lucifer. The red demon’s smile, as he shoved Lucifer aside and out of the way

You manifested on Charlie's side, you clouded her vision from seeing Alastor shove her father with your mock nun attire that clung to your curves perfectly it caught her attention, you held your hands in a mock prayer 

“Who’s been faithful as a nun?” you asked, raising an eyebrow leaning towards her smiling.

Red theater curtains swirled around and engulfed the both of you–before swiping open, the curtain revealing a big stage bathed in warm light. You and Alastor both stood at its center, the spotlight capturing every move. 

“Who makes you chuckle with an old timey pun?” You questioned out hip bumping Alastor as you waved your finger back and forth shutting one eye as you looked up to a smiling Charlie who was seating in the audience. Her smile was radiant. She leaned forward, caught in the theatrical magic.

You and Alastor materialized on opposite sides of her, your voices harmonizing.

“Your executive producer~!”

Elbowing her playfully as Alastor wrapped a arm around her, Charlie’s laughter echoed, and the scene shifted seamlessly.

“That’s true!” Charlie exclaimed, glancing from Alastor to you.

 “He’s your guy!” You said appearing as a small shoulder angel infront of Charlie’s face “Your day-to-day!”Another little angel version of you winked. “Your chum!” Another version of you butted-in moving the first two a bit to the side as it pointed to Alastor

The scene shifted to the three of you guys working the front desk behind a busy hotel lobby “Your steadfast hotelier~!” You said as guests hurried by, their requests and complaints blending into a cacophony.

“Why, remember when he fixed that clog today?” you said raising a eyebrow before putting your hand to your chin. Alastor, sleeves rolled up, as he pulled Nifty out of a stubborn toilet. The cyclops grateful voice echoed as a once clogged toilet started to flush 

“I was stuck! Thank you, sir,” Nifty had exclaimed. Alastor, still holding Nifty, patted her head with a smirk as you mirrored it, watching Charlie with her close eye smile. 

 “Oh you” She replied holding her cheek 

Alastor stepped forward, spinning Charlie with practiced ease.

“I am truly honored that we built such a bond” Alastor said looking at Charlie from now on top the staircases as neon faces of them lit up 

“Aww” Charlie replied 

You appeared on Charlie's side leaning in, one hand on Charlie’s shoulders, sincerity in your eyes. “You’re like the child we wished we had,” you sang, your voice a gentle lullaby.

“Uhhh, what?”Lucifer’s voice interrupted from below the set of stairs.

Your eyes shot to him with a flash of a smirk spreading on your face for him to see and disappearing, did you strike a nerve? 

Seating yourself at the edge of a bed, you looked down at a tucked-in Charlie. Alastor stood beside you, his hand on your shoulder. Together, you painted the picture of an unconventional loving family—the perfect family picture for Lucifer to have ingrained in his head. 

“We care for you just like a daughter we spawned,” you said, patting Charlie’s head. Her eyes closed, as she relaxed into the makeshift embrace.

But Lucifer’s protest echoed. “Hold on NOW!” he shouted, disrupting the scene. You grabbed Charlie’s arm, pulling her out of bed. Spinning her, you cheered on her dance moves, and Alastor’s amused voice joined the chorus.

“Its little funny” You heard Alastor say— “You can almost say were your” Alastor’s voice trailed off as he grabbed both Charlie and you, spinning you both with one arm. He positioned you next to his side, placing Charlie in front of both of you. “Parentsssss,” he drawled, dragging out the word. His wicked gaze turned toward Lucifer, and you mirrored his smile, snapping your head to Lucifer before returning to your regular expression looking at Charlie 

Suddenly you heard the noise of a violin playing..you looked to Lucifer seeing him play a golden one rather aggressively towards Alastor and you 

You raised your eyebrow looking at Lucifer, as he was taking bold strides towards the both of you, before he got too close, a piano materialized in front of you as you heard your husband voice cut through the air 

“Take it away dear!” Seating down, cracking your knuckles. Your fingers danced across the keys, and you shut your eyes, lost in the music–focus on upstaging Lucifer

Playing the last key, the final note harmony was shattered–you cringed at the noise you were hearing. It sound like a instrument being crushed, your shoulders tensed to the loud sharp noise–your deer ears flickering back and forth in annoyance. You peered your head over your shoulders too see Lucifer with squinted eyes and the purposely crush instrument above his head. As you squinted back, the lights around both of you flickered before shutting off completely.

Thinking the little singing battle was over you heard, a rhythmic beat filling the air.

“They say when you’re looking for assistants,” Alastor began, as large books started to descend onto Charlie’s back as she struggled to keep them up

“It’s smart to pick the path of less-,” you continued for Alastor, as both your figures manifested tendrils from the ground

As Alastor and you sang out

“Resistances~!”

As the tendrils thickened before lifting the heavy books off of Charlie back with ease 

Lucifer interjected, “Others say in your needy hour. There’s no substitute for pure–angelic–POWER!!!.” With a spread of his wings, he flew briefly before landing near Charlie with a crazed look, gripping his staff tightly

“Whose is also your blood!”

As Lucifer approached Charlie closely, you stepped between them, easily grabbing her attention.

“Sadly there are times where a birth parent” As both Charlie and you appeared in a higher location looked down on Lucifer as you did a thumbs down motion “Are a dud” A trap door beneath him swung open, sending him plummeting into a black void.

“They say the family you choose” Alastor said appearing on Charlie’s otherside as little images of Angel, Nifty, Husk and Sir Pentious appeared around you three “Are often better!” 

“What a bunch of,” Lucifer interjected, popping up and shoving Alastor aside with his staff.

“LOSERS!”

You watched standing next to Charlie as Alastor hip bumped Lucifer “Can you butt out of my song?” He questioned watching Lucifer stumble forward 

“Your song?!” Lucifer countered, walking back towards Alastor and standing on his tiptoes, pointing at himself. “I started this!”

“I’ll finish it,” Alastor quickly replied, leaning down towards Lucifer as they both bumped heads, their razor-sharp teeth bared, growling like wild animals.

“OH! YOu tacky, piece of SHI–”Lucifer’s sentence was cut short as the door suddenly burst open.

Alastor and Lucifer both pausing their yelling at one another as they both turned their heads to the noise..really everyone did

A small but recognizable figure appeared at the door, prompting an internal eye roll from you.

“It’s me!” she sang out, wagging her finger and bouncing her hip. “Yes, it’s me! I know you were all waiting for me!” Confetti flew as if from thin air.

“It’s ME!” she exclaimed, now on the second floor, jumping from the railing and landing on her knees, sliding a bit on the floor. “MIMZYYY!” she proclaimed, taking in some big breaths after her energetic entrance.

“Who?” Lucifer asked after a moment, confusion written all over his face as he raised one eyebrow.

FIN!!!

Extra! Extra!

No extra is available this time around! Tune in next time for extras! :))

[mars-and-the-theoi]

Deity Letter Writing

Deity letters are, in my opinion anyways, a wonderful alternative to traditional prayer if praying is something you struggle with for whatever reason! Sometimes praying can be uncomfortable for me-for personal reasons, and also formality kind of squiks me out-but writing is something I’m very confident about! And it tends to come much easier to me than praying. I started writing letters about 3 years ago on a whim because I was just frustrated with praying not always working for me. And it’s worked wonderfully ever since! It’s a great way for me to be able to get whatever thoughts or feelings I’m having off my chest! It’s really no different than say if you were writing to a pen pal, or a friend, or whatever. It follows the same format and generally includes the same content (with some differences of course).

When it comes to formatting I keep it to, like I said, like a traditional letter. I start it with ‘Lord/Lady [insert deity name here]’ sometimes I’ll precede that with ‘dear’ but that’s totally up to you! (Which is another amazing thing about this, you can tailor it to your and your relationship with the deity you’re writing too!).

Then I follow it with a quick ‘introduction’ paragraph, I just say hello, tell Them how I’m doing, tell Them that I hope They’re doing well, little things like that. And again- you can tailor this to you and your deity! You can completely omit this section or add to it. Whatever you want.

I don’t always write to Them when I need something from Them but if you do I usually include it in the second paragraph. If I don’t I usually just tell Them what I’m up to, or that I saw something that made me think of Them, etc.

In the last paragraph I thank Them for well…anything really. Maybe for being in my life, or like with Zeus I may thank Him for any rain we’ve had, etc. to me this is the most important part as it kind of builds this certain…reciprocity (idk if that’s the right word but it’s the best way I can describe it) and also it’s just kind to do! I may also ask if There’s anything in particular they want from me or anything like that. But again- you can omit or include this as you please. It’s not a must.

I don’t always do a like…’sincerely Mars’ part but if you wanted to you totally could! Sometimes I’ll just do a little doodle or maybe a funny joke that I think They’d like, or a book quote that made me think of Them, etc. whatever you want really!

Now I know a major concern is ‘do They receive these?’ And my response is a resounding yes, at least in my experience. If you talk while you write you could totally treat it as a prayer! But I usually don’t and just like…’hear’ the words in my head as I write which is good enough! I usually just call whichever deity it id I’m writing to beforehand in the same way you would before praying or giving an offering! I usually just say ‘Hear [insert deity name] as I write this letter to you’ then go for it! And of course, you can alter this to whatever works best for you. I also may light (or turn on, I use electric candles) their candle and bring it over to wherever I’m writing or listen to Their deity playlist. Just whatever I need to do to ‘get in the zone’.

As far as ‘disposal’ goes, I have a little wooden locked box that I have that they go into! Then when my aunt and uncle do a bonfire I just take it over and toss the letters into the fire. But this part totally depends on you and your situation. You could rip it up, or shred it. Or set it on their altar. If you wanted to you could just write them in a notebook and keep them in there. Or you could do it on your phone! In your notesapp or whoever else.

[unholly-reader]

New story alert!!!

Since some of you have expressed their love for our Xaddy above other candidates, by elimination - Xaden Riorson will be the next leading man in my new story.

I need to sketch the idea furthermore, because I still have some details to work out and well - I need to write the story itself lol - but, here to tempt you a little bit I present a tiny piece.

A memory from Xaden's past, but also an introduction to the female OC of this story - Drina.

More will be revealed later on, but for now - enjoy!

Xoxo

(Un) Holly

p.s. I have a little imagine written for the idea I had with Brennan and Liam, so fear not - those will come out some time as well <3

********************************************************

- You should have told me, Xaden. I deserved to know.

- You would have tried to change my mind, or worse, come with me.

- That's kind of the point, isn't? We protect each other, Xaden. Just because you are your father's son doesn't make a difference.

- Could you maybe not press so hard on my shoulderblade? I'm beginning to feel it even more than when Sorrengail's dagger was scraping my back.

Drina quickly withdrew her hands,gasping quietly as she felt Xaden's muscles tense under her touch. His back was mostly covered with semi-dried out blood, here and there dripping from the still open tiny cuts scattered on his skin. Every second she had to stare at the disastrous state of Xaden's back was like a knife to her own heart. To think that he willingly endured it for the greater good of all the rebellion kids was excruciatingly painful even if she was not the one who had to go through this terror.

- I'm sorry - whispered Drina, getting back to gently dabbing the wet cloth in her hand around the cuts to clean it up - But I stand by what I said. You are not alone in this. We promised. By daylight or the shadows of the night…

- One with the other, side by side - finished Xaden, quietly repeating the words of a children's vow he and Drina made when they both turned thirteen - I know, but you have to understand. I had to do it on my own. It is my burden to carry.

- Not for the price of your life, Xay - opposed Drina, still patiently collecting dried up blood from his skin - What on earth could be worth promising your life? You don't know when some kid you never met decides to break rules. It's like throwing your life away on a whim. I can't imagine anything worthy of a sacrifice like this.

- You are worth more than everything to me. More than my life. More than anything before you and anything that will come after.

His voice was barely above whisper, but Drina heard him well enough. Xaden never talked about his feelings. He got grumpy and moody whenever somebody brought the subject up, yet there he was. Sitting on her bed, his back facing her front, his heart wrapped in a pretty bow, ready to be received by his childhood love. Drina felt her own heart stop as she withdrew her hands, clutching the cloth in her palm so tightly her knuckles went almost white. Her dark blue eyes slowly filled up with unwanted tears, but she wasn't sure whether they were tears of joy or sheer terror.

- What did you just say?

Slowly, careful not to rip any of the healed cuts covering his back, Xaden stood up and turned around so that he was standing face to face with her. Her body was trembling so badly as if she had just survided a deadly blizzard, but she was far from cold. Her cheeks were warm and smooth when Xaden's rough hands cupped her face so gently, like he was certain she would crumble under his touch if he held her too hard. The defined muscles of his chest were glistening with a glimmer of sweat, every single pectoral clearly visible as his breath quickened the way it would after running a marathon or trying to outrun a dragon. She didn't even blink when he closed the space between them, setting his forehead against her own, breathing in her sweet scent like a starved man.

- You know I have never said it to anyone - said Xaden calmly, but there was a hint of uncertainty laced in his voice - And I'm not sure I ever could, but let me put it that way. You complete me, Drina. You're the smile to my grimace. You're the sun to my clouds. You're the air that I'm breathing. You're the meaning in everything I question and the answer to every charade. Fuck, I don't even know what I'm saying right now. You numb me. You make me feel things I don't want to feel and yet here I am. Mindless fool standing before you with my heart in my hands, begging you to take it. It already belongs to you anyway.

[shleepyissleepy]

When Sweet Meets Savory

Alastor/GN!Reader

Prolouge

Content warnings: Vague depictions of violence and death.

Notes: Descriptions, name, and gender of the reader is left alone.

___________________________________________

Dropping ass first into hell wasn't exactly on today's to-do list. The last thing you remember upon waking up in the middle of a bustling, critter ridden city was that you had just gone out for your morning stroll. It was quiet out. The fog had just begun to settle in, and it seemed that the day was due for a little rain. You had plans to go shopping, tidy up your quaint little apartment, and get some chores done. Perhaps read a book or two while your record player sang sweet melodies. Yes, a peaceful, productive day was in the works, well that was, until you decided to take a detour through the trail just short of less than a mile it'd take otherwise to get to the convenience store.

Something felt incredibly off. Entering the forest opening were the trail began, and stepping past the overgrowth of weeds and roots, it was clear this area of the neighborhood didn't get many guests. Normally, it's a smooth sailing walk, besides tripping over a couple of rocks and roots, that takes less than 10 minutes to walk through fully. However, today, it seemed you had a plus one. Someone had followed you into the trail, judging by the crackling footsteps behind you. Part of you assumed they just happened to be going the same way you were, but it just felt... wrong.

Anxiety started bubbling up in the pit of your stomach. Of course, you must be overreacting, but it couldn't hurt to pick up the pace a bit. Bad move. Immediately, the steps behind you move faster, and out of reflex, you do as well, sending you to full-on sprint. Slapping branches out of your way and jumping over protruding mounds of dirt at the speed you were going, mixed with the ever-growing fear as agitated grunting and heavy steps close in behind you causes you to hyperventilate. You didn't even make it halfway through the trail when the perpetrator caught up to you, tackling and pinning you down. You wondered if anyone heard your screams, or if anyone found your mutilated body.

Well anywho, that's how you found yourself here, admist the chaos of a crimson city. Honestly, you expected more fire and pitchforks. Adapting to your new environment took some time, well okay, a lot of time. Eventually, when you stumbled upon your reflection for the first time, you had audibly yelled in shock and fell on your ass. If you had a nickle for everytime that's happened since you got here you'd have two, which is not a lot but it's funny that it happened twice. Finding somewhere to settle proved extremely difficult given the fact that it was hell and everything came with a price, whether it be in the form of an "act of service", to giving up your mortal soul... and an absurd amount of money, of course. Which was why you eventually found yourself standing at the ominous front entrance of the comically infamous in completely bombing, Hazbin Hotel.

A place meant to house and redeem sinners. To be completely honest, you knew exactly why you were here in hell, however you were not very keen on sharing that information. But maybe if you could waltz in, and give a good enough introduction to apply for a job here, you may also get to have a decent roof over your head. Now the only issue with this little plan, was that there was literally no job openings that you knew of listed here, so you had to come up with... well something. Maybe coming here on a whim was a terrible idea, or it might just be the best decision you'll ever make in your undead life. You'll never know until you open those doors.

With a sigh and somewhat confidant stance, you push open the double doors, reveling in the crimson golden glow of the hotel. Immediately you find yourself in the lobby with pointedly no check in desk. Clasping your hands behind your back, you survey the interior and notice a bar to the left of you. A cat like demon with wings is behind the bar cleaning a glass, and actively avoiding to look in your general direction, but he definitely knows you're there. Just before you can finish examining your surroundings, a cheery voice booms infront of you.

"Hellooo!" You stumble back, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. A young woman in a red suit stands before you and practically touching noses with you seconds prior.

"Oh my gosh I'm sososo sorry I didn't mean to spook you, I'm just so excited to see a new guest!" Her voice trails off in a giddy nature, her heels rocking lightly. Finally you begin to process that the princess of hell, Charlie Morningstar, is in front of you. Which of course you expected, but not quite imagining it like this. Releasing the tension in you posture you hold out a hand to shake, introducing yourself. She practically shakes your arm off.

"It's so nice to meet you, I'm Charlie Morningstar- ah, but you can just call me Charlie..." backing away with a spin, her arms reaching out beside her in a grand display.

"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel~!" She ends of with a sing song tune to her voice.

"Ah, it's nice to meet you as well...uhm but I'm here looking to be a guest, per say." Shit. You really didn't think this through. Also "per say"? Who says that??? Charlie laughs faintly, closing the distance once again to hold one of yoy hands in hers in a polite sort of fashion.

"Ah nonsense. Everyone is a guest here!" She tugs your hand gently but with purpose, guiding you towards the bar.

"C'mon lemme show you around, this is the baarr and the bar tenderrr.~" The demon behind the bar finally shoots you a non-committal glance before going back to scrubbing a... completely clean glass... yeeahhh. You give him a polite wave regardless and move on.

Over the course of the next thirty minutes, Charlie gives you a tour around the hotel. You couldn't help but feel charmed by her excited nature. She gushed on and on about the hotel and its goals, she seemed really committed to this place, you could practically see the sparkle in her eyes. Eventually, she got to asking you about what brings you to the hotel, your goals and such. Welp, time to bullshit something!

"Well you see, I'm here on business. I see your vision of redeeming souls, and I have an offer for you, if you're interested." Please almighty Lucifer be interested. She urges you to continue.

"I have a wonderful idea that could add some frosting to the cake, if you will. To your lessons and exercises. How do you feel about opening a library?" An awkward pause floats in the air. Charlie cocks her head slightly as she feigned a smile.

"Ah... a library?" You pat the air with your hands to wave away the tension. Internally screaming at the single braincell in your head to come up with something.

"Let me elaborate." Clearing your throat, you straighten your posture. A shiver runs down your back, and there's a dry spot in your throat. Time to make the pitch.

"With a library, guests can find themselves a quiet escape, something healthy and stimulating. Not only that, but you could utilize a library for writing and reading exercises. What's a better way to connect with people and to express yourself? I can offer poetry and calligraphy lessons, teach others to write about their experiences and through this medium, perhaps there would be a better chance to really help sinners along the way to redemption!" Slightly out of breath, you finish off with your best award winning smile. Most of that was just complete bullshitting out of your ass, but there was some truth to it. You always found comfort in setting like a library, or a cozy cafe in the hidden nook of a shopping center. Reading and writing has been proven to be therapeutic and a good medium for expressing yourself. Letting the mind wander and letting your imagination take hold of a pen- you're losing focus.

Your eyes snap back to Charlie from where they had trailed off, she stares back wide eyed. Worried you may have offended her for even pitching this ridiculous idea, you began to apologize. However you were interrupted by her grabbing your shoulders. She stood on the very tips of her toes and gleamed.

"That. is. a. WONDERFUL IDEA!" She spins you around for a moment before gushing further about all the new ideas she has for lesson plans and exercises.

After a while of banter back and forth, you were surprised and relieved to hear that you got the job. Not only that, but you were extatic to hear that you would be receiving your own room. Score! This is exactly what you needed. Now the only issue was the fact that the hotel... did not have anywhere to put a library, but that can be arranged! Charlie said she knew the perfect person for the job...

...and that was when you immediately regretted your decisions.

[artful-aries]

I’m absolutely the type of person to smile and wave back at Dottore as he sails away in a boat, completely forgetting that he’s supposed to be the villain. Totally not true story no no

Short scenario please? :3

My lovely anon, here is your request finally. This was soooooo fun to write.

Content Warnings: None really, but Dottore is a little bit condescending and also thinks you’re crazy for majority of this fic

​​Prosaic Introductions - Dottore x Reader

​​​Though he is not a conventional man, or even a conventional human being for that matter, Dottore sees this as a tool for his benefit. In fact, it is an aspect that he prides himself on, not being like the rest of the weak minded fools of this world. Their eyes might as well be sewn shut for the amount of good their vision does them. The people of Teyvat are, in large, utterly pathetic and small minded, unable to see the bigger picture. Their faces blur in his mind, day after day after day, they come and go from his presence, nothing more than dust in the air to him, filling space.

​​

​​And yet, there was you, a common citizen of Snezhnaya that for some reason stood out among the rest. It was a fact that Dottore truly detested. He had no time nor purpose for this…fixation he had on you, yet thoughts of you nestled in his brain like a cockroach, multiplying in intensity and difficult to eradicate. What was it about your quotidian life that drew his attention?

​​

​​It started when he had the unfortunate luck of meeting you by happenstance. He had been running an errand for one of his experiments; a task normally assigned to his assistants, had he not experimented on and terminated them all due to their lack of basic capability. You had bumped into him on accident at a Snezhnayan market, the blithering fool you were.

​​

​​Dottore looked down at you, his expression clouded by his mask but the edge of his mouth tapered downward, the only visible sign of his displeasure. Ordinarily when people saw a Harbinger, let alone The Doctor, they made sure to make their presence scarce if they could.

​​

​​But not you.

​​

​​You blinked in surprise, as if you weren’t the one who had just run into him before smiling brightly, “Oh, sorry! My head must have been in the clouds, I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry for running into you.”

​​

​​Your demeanor was so bright and cheery, Dottore wondered if there was something wrong with you. Did you not know who he was? He doubted that very much. There wasn’t anyone in Snezhnaya who didn’t know who the Harbingers were. Perhaps this was your way of trying to deflect any wrath he might bring for running into him. Most people tried appealing to him through politeness, and you were likely no different. It was a useless gesture; he had better things to do with his time than be concerned with the apologies of ordinary people.

​​

​​“Think nothing of it,” Dottore replied quickly, not having the time or energy for this social exchange. If he had been in a bad mood, he might have been more vicious, but at the moment he simply wanted to get the supplies he needed for his research and resume his experiments.

​​

​​You clearly had other plans in mind, as you continued talking to him as though he were an acquaintance of yours, “The snow is so thick today, its a wonder how I didn’t get frostbite on the way here. What brings you out in this weather?”

​​

​​Dottore paused for a moment, unsure of how to respond. Why were you talking to him? Surely there was a reason for it, as it seemed highly unlikely that you would simply just…strike up conversation with a Harbinger on a whim. What was your goal? Did you have an ulterior motive, or did you happen to leave your sense in the clouds you had just lost yourself in?

​​

​​He blinked slowly at you behind his mask before he replied bluntly, “Gathering materials for research. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way.”

​​

​​He had quickly left, ending his first encounter with you as abruptly as it had started. Yet now, weeks after the exchange he found himself thinking about it, about you, more and more. You were strange, that was for certain. Dottore wondered what it was that made you tick, what drove your actions that day. Was it for a chance at political gain? Were you somehow a spy, or perhaps you had some other plot planned, one that he could not predict. Each possibility seemed as unlikely as the next, and yet, the thing that puzzled Dottore the most was why he cared so much in the first place. What did it matter what your intentions were, he was likely not going to ever see you again.

​​

​​And yet there you were again in his line of sight today, as though you had been summoned by his mere desire to observe you closely. Dottore hadn’t regretted terminating his useless assistants, but now he was almost grateful he had done it. Having to leave his laboratory for supplies presented him with this opportunity to study you more.

​​

​​He watched from a distance as you argued with some fellow. Dottore hypothesized that he might be a jilted lover, or perhaps he was merely a friend whom you were having a dispute with, or even a complete stranger. Whatever the reason for the argument, Dottore did not care; he was far more fascinated by watching how you reacted to the stimuli. The way your brows furrowed, the downward curve of your mouth as you frowned, the faint redness reaching your cheeks out of anger, it was all useful data in determining what kind of person you were. You seemed to wear your heart in your sleeve, for better or for worse, and it was an idea that amused Dottore as he watched you argue with the man in front of you. People easy to read were easy people to manipulate, but he stood to gain nothing from expending the effort. Watching you brought him a strange sense of satisfaction that he couldn’t explain.

​​

​​Dottore was about to walk away, satisfied with the new observations he was able to make of you, but he noticed a shift in the argument, especially coming from the man. Whoever he was, he was becoming increasingly agitated with you, a fact that you seemed to pick up on as your body grew tense. Strange, so you could be perceptive of others after all, when you wanted to be. Part of Dottore wanted to sit back and watch what would unfold; if things were to escalate into a physical fight, he wanted to see what you would say, what you do. The idea was thrilling to him, having the opportunity to see you backed into a corner, to see your survival instincts take over, to see what you would look like when you were terrified. Yet, strangely enough he felt his body moving towards you despite these compulsions.

​​

​​Before he knew it, he was standing next to you and placing a hand on your shoulder, “You seem to have a knack for talking to the wrong people, don’t you?”

​​

​​Your eyes practically lit up as you looked up at him, a sight that confused Dottore. Were you…happy to see him? Considering your argument with the man in front of you, he figured that would be a valid reaction.

​​

​​“Oh, it’s you!” You breathed with relief as you broke out in a grin, “It’s nice to see you again.”

​​

​​The man you were arguing with, upon seeing you act so casually with an infamous Fatui Harbinger, scurried off without a word. Whatever your argument had been about, it was clearly no longer worth the effort to him. This made Dottore chuckle to himself slightly. So his reputation did precede him. In that case, why was it that you didn’t seem to have the same reaction as him?

​​

​​He removed his hand from your shoulder as he replied, “Most would not be so keen on seeing a Fatui Harbinger.”

​​

​​To his surprise, you didn’t flinch or sound shocked at all about him mentioning his status. That ruled out the possibility that you simply just didn’t know, and made you a far more interesting specimen in Dottore’s eyes. You simply shrugged, “Sure you have a scary, super important job, but you seem nice.”

​​

​​Dottore had been described as many things in his life, and nice was not one of them. It baffled him that you could come to such a conclusion after only seeing him twice, yet you picked up quickly on the antagonistic feelings of the man you argued with before. Truly, the depth of your perception was skewed, and it made him want to know more.

​​

​​You took his stunned silence as him expecting something, and cleared your throat as you introduced yourself, “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to have you engage in conversation this time.”

​​

​​(Y/N). What an incredibly ordinary name, contradictory to the constant perplexity you threw him into. You were odd, and more and more Dottore found himself wanting to analyze you, to find the root of your oddities and mannerisms.

​​

​​You nudged him, an action that took him by surprise as he blinked at you- not that you could tell behind his mask. “Well? Are you going to introduce yourself?”

​​

​​Dottore let out a small chuckle at your insistence, what was left for him to introduce? Everyone in Snezhnaya knew who he was, moreover, what he was capable of. Still, he humored you as he replied, “You may call me Dottore, if it pleases you.”

​​

​​Your face lit up, clearly satisfied with his answer, “Thanks for helping me, Dottore. That guy was a jerk,” You seemed to get nervous for a moment as you looked down at your feet, shuffling them in the snow before looking back up to ask him, “Can I count on seeing you around more often?”

​​

​​You looked almost…hopeful, like you wanted to see him more. How strange you were, almost insisting on seeing a man who you knew wrought much turmoil and bloodshed as much for his own purposes as well as the Tsaritsa’s. Clearly, your psyche was different from most, if not altogether damaged. It was fascinating to him that he couldn’t predict what you would say or do. You seemed to operate outside most conventions, much like himself.

​​

​​“Perhaps,” Dottore finally answered, but chose not to elaborate further as he continued to be on his way, leaving you confused at his response. He smirked to himself at the thought, how nice it was to make you the confused one. Despite his ambiguity, he had every intention of seeing you again. He just had to know more; to study you, to break you down and build you back up, to figuratively dissect you until he mastered your inner workings and understood your quirks. You were his captivating little side project, and he couldn’t wait to begin his research on you.

​​

[dude-wheres-my-ankheg]

Abdirak - A Contradiction In Faith (Link to AO3)

Word count: 3.2k

Characters: Abdirak, Loviatar

Summary: An essay exploring how Abdirak's behaviour and beliefs tie into the overarching Loviatan faith.

Tags: Essays, Meta, Nonfiction, Analysis, Character Analysis, Character Study

Find my fic master list here.

Because I've heard a lot of people prefer to read meta on Tumblr, full essay is under the cut:

Start Notes

This essay is not meant to diminish or debunk anyone's thoughts, opinions, or headcanons about Abdirak's character. It is simply an exploration of my own findings and a discussion about the lore surrounding him. I fully love and support everyone's own interpretations of the character. However, my own reading of Abdirak is extremely personal to me and the reason why he has resonated with me so strongly. As such, I wanted to explore more about his character and the discussions about him both in and out of the game, and give some context to where my own personal reading of him came from.

Worth noting that I am not an authority on anything, just some guy with an obsession and some books.

Introduction

Abdirak was for many the highlight of the Goblin Camp, despite being a brief flash-in-the-pan of an NPC with a single scene and a potential gameplay buff. So how does such a character captivate the hearts and imaginations of so many? The obvious answer is that he is sexy, dangerous, and fun, and provides the opportunity for some cheeky companion banter. However there is more to him than meets the eye, especially for those who know a little about Loviatar and her worshippers.

Right from the start, Abdirak is a man of contradictions. Charming yet blood soaked. Enticing and yet promising pain. Offering healing through harm. But as we dig deeper, we can see just how deep the contradictions truly go.

A (Very) Brief Look At Traditional Loviatan Beliefs

Traditional Loviatan tenets are fairly clear cut when examining the lore. For all of my research, I have been unable to find any reference to healing through pain as Abdirak claims to.

Loviatar desires pain and suffering through any and all means, including psychological torture and manipulation, seduction and heartbreak. Their goals are to spread discontent and misery. Loviatans are characterised as being cruel and manipulative, often using winning peoples' trust and breaking it as a way to hurt them.

The only reference to healing I have found exists in the following passage from a speech given to those new to the faith:

"Let mercy of sudden abstinence from causing pain and of providing unlooked-for healing come over you seldom, but at a whim so as to make folk hope and increase the Mystery of Loviatar's Mercy. Unswerving cruelty will turn all folk against you." [1]

Here, we see healing used as a manipulation and a break from pain, not a result of the pain. It is simply a trick to convince people to fall more deeply into the devout's clutches. If we trust the lore books, all Loviatans should be gleefully spreading misery. Which would make sense - Loviatar is an evil god with evil followers who thrives on misery and suffering. She likes to be feared and charges her followers with spreading that fear [1].

Abdirak

Enter Abdirak. A charming, handsome, lightly blood splattered man who claims he simply wishes to help the player character. He explains his faith and how he believes that his work is beneficial to those around him and not only his goddess. With what we know about Loviatans, surely this is an act? Loviatans make it their life's work to twist and trick people into harm. A quick encounter within a Goblin Camp may not seem like much of a chance to win a heart and shatter it, but certainly enough to lie about the health benefits of being smacked with a mace.

There are, however, little things about him that are off.

For one thing, he was invited to the Goblin Camp to torture Liam, a task which he is not performing. In fact, he seemed disgusted with the thought of it - pain should be, as Abdirak himself says, an "intimate and loving thing." That doesn't sound particularly in-keeping with the traditional Loviatan beliefs, and neither does passing up the opportunity to torture a man.

Another contradiction is how Abdirak is insistent that those receiving the penance be well enough to do so. While Loviatans may not want broken bones or severe injuries themselves—as such hinders their duties and their worship—what would it matter if a stranger was injured during the course of a penance? Yet Abdirak is insistent. Only those well enough may receive his "gifts" and those who lose too much health during the penance will immediately see it stopped.

Then of course, there is simply the way he is. The way he speaks. The care and consideration in his words. Of course, this could all be a part of his act - a smooth and clever manipulation. A very convincing one at that. However, there are reasons to believe otherwise.

The Contradiction

The idea that Abdirak is simply a smooth manipulator is somewhat thwarted by several factors. For one, an argument can be made about his behaviour as above. For another, the developer's notes within the game files and the comments and context added by Rachel Quirke (Abdirak's writer) and Declan Perring (Abdirak's voice actor) paint a very different picture of his motives to that of a cruel and selfish manipulation.

Let us address the character's actions within the game first, as these are easiest to dismiss. Abdirak does his best to convince the player character to undergo the penance, but makes no move to force them. In fact, beyond his simple pitch—this is good for you, it will help you—he does not push. He doesn't try to find new ways to tempt the player and does not try to twist his arguments to entice. He lets the offer stand on its own merit rather than overly pushing the issue and trying to convince the player character. Of course, this could be attributed to him not wanting to cause trouble for himself. It gets more interesting when we look deeper into the game meta.

One of the most noticeable things about the acting direction given within the dialogue game files is the repeated use of the word "sincere." It is applied to Abdirak himself, to his beliefs, to his words. It is used over and over to describe this man and his desire to help the player.

"This is a sincere and genuine offer, He believes in what he is doing and that it will, ultimately, help the player." [2]

"It is a sincere and genuine offer, he believes it will help." [2]

"He's looking the player in the eyes and is concerned - he can see the player has been hurt (emotionally) and is worried. This is sincere." [2]

"Player has told him to bugger off, basically. Abdirak assumes the player is embarassed [sic], he is sincere - he has seen pain in the player's eyes and wishes to comfort him." [2]

"He believes that the beating he is about to offer will genuinely help. Sincere." [2]

"Explaining about his goddes [sic] Loviatar. Sincere. Believes pain is a beautiful thing." [2]

"The priest should look very sincere in this scene. He genuinely thinks he's helping you." [2]

This sentiment is further echoed by his writer, Rachel Quirke, who has also commented directly on his sincerity in online discussions with fans. [3]

In addition to these notes and comments, the following quote is from Declan Perring, the voice actor who brings Abdirak to life, and is a section of the acting direction notes he was given prior to recording Abdirak's voice lines. It goes: "He sincerely believes in what he is doing and that each offering of pain to the Goddess lessens his own pain and that of others." [4] This is a fascinating quote which gives us huge insight into Abdirak's thoughts and far more questions than answers. It is in direct contradiction with the tenets of Loviatan faith, as discussed above, where pain and suffering are shared for the sake of pain and suffering alone. When Abdirak tells us that he wishes to alleviate the player character's pain, he means it. It seems to remove the potential for Abdirak's prior mentioned sincerity to simply be very good acting.

Unlike what the lore relating to Loviatans would have us believe, Abdirak is not lying or twisting his words. He is not concealing ulterior motives. In his mind, he is a healer of sorts. His believes that his desire to worship the Lady of Pain aligns with his desire to help people - and believes that he is succeeding.

There are other small things as well that Abdirak says in his short time with the player character which seem out of place for a Pain of Loviatar. For one, he implies that he does not like to kill. Traditionally, Loviatans do not seem to have many qualms about such, and have frequently been involved in warfare. [1] In addition to this, as mentioned above, Loviatar wants to be feared by the world. Abdirak however preaches about her loving embrace and wants the player character to trust him and seemingly by extension her. Even after the penance, Abdirak makes no move to make the player character concerned, even if they were not deemed worthy of the blessing.

Implications

Abdirak's seemingly unique outlook on Loviatar worship certainly raises some questions, and gives us several potential routes to explore when we consider his relationship to his religion and how it ties into mainstream Loviatar worship.

Is Abdirak some delusional outlier, espousing a false version of his own god's creed? This seems unlikely. Abdirak claims to be in communication with Loviatar, supported by the fact that he is capable of personally handing out her blessings. She seems to approve of his strange methods - is this simply because he is so effective? Loviatar's focus tends to be upon the suffering itself. Abdirak's methods and unique outlook could be tolerable to her simply due to his enthusiasm and success in providing pain and suffering to her, even if he's doing some therapy on the side.

Another potential explanation is that he is part of a smaller sect of Loviatan worshippers, whose values differ slightly to those of the main church. This explanation is without any lore foundation, but it is certainly interesting to think about. Both real life and the Forgotten Realms have examples of religions with disagreeing or even rival branches, so it is not a stretch to believe that a sect of Loviatans could exist who believe their abilities to inflict pain also bestow healing of sort. Though again, this is not supported by any other suggestions within the game or external lore that I have found, but definitely opens some fun headcanon potential.

Another possible reason for Abdirak to be the way that he is is that the church has simply moved on and evolved, much like the modernising of real life religions. Again, this hypothesis is without basis and pure speculation.

There is also the possibility that Abdirak is a model Loviatan, simply following dogma to the letter of the law. Does Abdirak believe his crueller tendencies should be reserved for those who would do harm against him rather than run-of-the-mill penitents? The Loviatan teachings do note striking against "those who offend." [1] This still does not account for the fact that healing through pain is not mentioned in any part of Loviatan dogma I have found. While it does state that they can share their gifts to "those who enjoy them" [1], there is no mention of the health and well-being benefits of the process for the receiver. This appears to be a belief that Abdirak himself has adopted - could this be due to his own experiences? The developer notes imply that the Loviatan practices helped Abdirak deal with his own trauma: "Player has asked how he knew something terrible had happened them. Abdirak sadly replies. He is think [sic] of his own traumatic past, which ultimately led him to turn to Loviatar as a way coping with the trauma." [2] Loviatan dogma states that pain brings pleasure and power, but makes no mention of healing or mental well-being. It is presented as a traditionally evil form of worship, one that centres around hedonistic desires and the pursuit of power [1]. As such, this particularly theory feels very difficult to marry with the existing lore.

A final explanation could be based upon Loviatar's own interpretation of Abdirak's actions. Reference texts tell us that "Her understanding of humanity, for example, relied on the fundamental assumption that they were innately selfish. Truly heroic or self-sacrificing behaviour could untangle her carefully woven plots." [1] Could this suggest that she tolerates Abdirak's methods because she simply does not understand them? Abdirak is a loyal and enthusiastic follower and, as discussed above, perhaps that is enough. Could Loviatar be unable to comprehend that Abdirak's methods are anything other than selfish, that his talk of healing is not simply lies? It's certainly a fun thought that such a large misinterpretation could occur between a god and their follower, especially one that appears to hold a well regarded position within the church.

Notes on Abdirak's Character

"Pain is pain, dear one. It is above 'good' and 'evil'." [2]

These are words spoken by Abdirak, and they are accompanied by the following notes in the game files: "Player has told him that his goddess is evil and that he wants to [sic, presumably should be 'no'] part in this practice. His [Abdirak's] argument about pain is sincere, he sees it as neither good nor evil, simply as proof that we are alive - and that is worth worshipping and experiencing." [2]

Alignment is an important concept within the realms of D&D. While the game rules have moved away from such previously rigid structures, its influence remains thickly throughout the world of Toril.

As previously discussed, Loviatar is an evil god. Traditionally, Loviatan priests could only be one of the three evil alignments, with Pains further limited to Lawful Evil. [1] Evil alignments, particularly Lawful and Neutral, are characterised by a selfishness that comes at the cost of others [5], which does not seem to align (ha) with what we know of Abdirak so far.

That is not to say that the case for either of these alignments could not be made—they certainly could, especially with how little of Abdirak we see. However, the sincerity and care shown by Abdirak lack the selfishness that one would expect to undertone an evil character, as evidenced by the developer notes that go with his dialogue.

Could Abdirak be more easily ascribed to a Lawful Neutral alignment? While it would certainly be a stretch for a follower of Loviatar to be Lawful Good in character, Abdirak displays a certain amount of selflessness and desire to aid others. A Neutral alignment would support his beliefs about pain and allow him the freedom to practice his faith (in his own special way) while still maintaining that streak of altruism he seems to bear.

Could Abdirak represent an evolution of Loviatar worshippers? Rigid class restrictions have changed over the years - after all, there was a time when druids were limited to True Neutral only [6]. Or is Abdirak simply a law unto himself, a complete outlier in the ranks of the church?

Another interesting point of Abdirak's character is his belief that pain is intimate and loving. As stated in the sourcebook:"Loviatar teaches that the world is filled with pain and torment, and the best that one can do is to suffer the blows that cannot be avoided and deal as much pain back to those who offend." [1] This seems to contradict Abdirak's belief that pain is a gift and should be applied with love and care, an act of healing the mind with pain to the body. This opens two possibilities. That Abdirak is simply lying to the player when he says that pain is only loving. The developer notes say that Abdirak is sincere in his desire to help the player character and in his belief that his methods are beneficial, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he reserves that care for everyone. While this might bring into question why he refuses to torture Liam or push the goblins beyond their limits, it could be attributed to a personal code of who he deems worthy of uncaring hurt. That quote could be interpreted as saying that the usual care and consideration should not be applied to those who attempt to harm the priest themselves. This could point to an explanation for Abdirak's behaviours and beliefs, and hint at a far more dangerous side to Abdirak that we do not get the chance to see in game.

Even with the developer notes and the lorebook sources, Abdirak's character requires close inspection and dissection, and still there is no clear truth to his overall life philosophy, leaving the door open of a myriad of fan interpretations and characterisations, and giving Abdirak fans a wealth of opportunity to explore.

Conclusions

Abdirak's contradictions and the way he subverts expectations based upon his faith make him an incredibly intriguing character, in a way he would not have been if he had been written as a classic Loviatan. The subtle and clever writing paired with an outstanding acting performance elevate this five minute character from a single scene of laughs and titillation to an enigma with the potential to stay in the player's thoughts far longer than he has any right to.

As anyone who has known me before this long and convoluted (and absolutely not exhaustive) ramble will be aware, Abdirak has captivated me since I first encountered him. Now this isn't to say that I don't love a sexy villain, because that would be a lie, but without these layers within Abdirak—the subversion of expectations that come with him as a Loviatan—he would not be as compelling, and certainly would not have grabbed my imagination in the way that he has done. The twist that Abdirak, this creepy and unsettling devout of pain itself, is one of only two characters in the whole of Act 1 to help the player character without want of anything in return, who does so only out of their desire to aid another, not only turns perceptions of him on their head but also of the other NPCs within the act.

With this apparent mismatch of Abdirak's motives with known Loviatan scripture, what could have been a one-note gimmick character becomes something far deeper and interesting to those who know the lore behind the deity. A subtle nod to those aware of the world they are playing in and something that has made the character absolutely captivating to me.

And on that note, I leave you with my favourite dev note of them all:

Abdirak: Yes - I must try this technique. Or perhaps this one… Hand on chin, considering the book before him. Pain Priest is reading his open book. He is reading a book on pain and torture techniques, musing out loud which to try, like someone reading a book on cupcake recipes and wondering whether to try buttercream or sugar icing next. [2]

References

(1) Julia Martin, Eric L. Boyd (March 1996). Faiths & Avatars. (TSR, Inc.), pp. 100–105. ISBN 978-0786903849.

(2) Baldur's Gate 3. Directed by Sven Vincke, Larian Studios, 2023. Multiplatform game. (Links to extracted dialogue and development notes can be accessed here: https://www.tumblr.com/roksik-dnd/732776567631183872?source=share)

(3) Quirke, R [@quirkiltons]. (2023, Dec 7). Oh, absolutely! Yes, Abdirak is into pain, but he's incredibly sincere about it. He'll stop if you're hurt badly and only resume once you've healed up. The scripter and I wanted to reward people who tried it, not punish them (that's Abdirak's job 😜) [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/quirkiltons/status/1732734892981600479

(4) Streamily. (2024, Jun 27). Streamily.com Presents: Declan Perring THE Abdirak [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/live/TsIxFkLQp9Y.

(5) Jeremy Crawford (August 2014). Player’s Handbook. (Wizards of the Coast), pp. 122. ISBN 978-0-7869-6560-1.

(6) Ed Stark (August 2000). Player's Handbook 3rd edition. (Wizards of the Coast). ISBN 9780786915507.

End notes

As I could write endlessly about Abdirak, I wanted to keep this as concise and on topic as possible, focusing purely on how Abdirak relates to the overarching Loviatan church. This might be a one off or the first of a few essays exploring Abdirak's character and the Loviatan faith in general. It depends on when inspiration to actually write the damn things strikes, and whether or not people are even interested in these sorts of posts haha.

Anyway, if you read all the way to the end of my enthusiastic rambles, thank you <3 If you have any of your own thoughts, feelings, opinions, disagreements, etc, I would LOVE to hear them because I love talking about this weirdo.

[rizz-god]

Happy 1 Year to Burning Shores! (plus me being cringe and sappy)

The fact that it's already been entire year is honestly insane. Despite being a newer-ish fan to the Horizon series, these games have had such a huge impact on my life. And when the Burning Shores was announced, little did I know what would be in store for.

First off, Aloy's story post-Forbidden West was handled so incredibly well. Seeing how far she's come since Zero Dawn and her evolution throughout FW has been such a treat to watch. It still blows my mind that high school me thought ZD looked boring and uninteresting then and now I can without a doubt that the Horizon series is one of my favorite video game series.

Burning Shores is still my favorite DLC to this day and I am so glad Guerilla Games told this DLC's story in the way that they did. Seyka's introduction to the series was such a breath of fresh air. And her and Aloy's journey together was some of the most wholesome shit I've ever seen. I pretty much declared myself a Seyloy shipper the moment those two awkward dumbass lesbians (affectionate) started talking to each other, and watching their relationship develop over the course of the DLC nearly brought me to tears.

As a little chaotic lesbian enby, seeing this sort of representation in media as popular as Horizon made me so happy to see and I absolutely cannot wait for what GG has in store for Aloy and Seyka in H3. No matter what direction they decide to take, I have no doubt that GG will handle these two and the story at large in an exciting and meaningful way.

But above all of this, not only did Burning Shores tell an impactful story, it also led me to meeting so many incredible people who I am so honored to call my friends (this is where I'm going to cringe and sappy).

Like seriously, I joined the Moth to Flame discord server (and then later became a mod but that's irrelevant) on a complete whim and it is still one of the best decisions I've ever made. Everyone was so welcoming to me and I felt like I fit right in and like I was finally at home (insert The Idea of Home here for dramatic effect). Words cannot simply describe how much everyone of y'all mean to me and I am honored to have met each of you. Y'all rock and I am grateful for all the late nights spent on voice chat and all of the server bullshit and memes and chaos we inflict on each other everyday.

And so, to show my appreciation and to annoy y'all's inboxes, I'm shouting all of you out because this is my post and I can do whatever I want (bite me): @cookie-druid @a-little-ferret @katiemcgrathisdaddyaf @samaelschain @verthanthi @despite-the-nora @drayna @nico-demons @xamiipholia @solitae @hartlesshart @hellcheercaine @zerodawnkitewalker

And of course, shoutout to all of the other Moths that I forgot to tag (there's too many of y'all, okay lmao) and know that I appreciate y'all just as much everyone else listed above.

Happy 1 year to Burning Shores and to all of the memories we've made along the way! <3

[oxytoxic-skeletonin]

WHEW just breezed out this little drabble on a whim! For the record, that's the title, not my sincere thoughts on him. (He is an asshole but we all love him)

Sans the Skeleton is an Asshole

Undertale (Set in my Depths in Despair MV, but I made it vague enough it could be on it's own) Ship - Sans x Reader, mentions of Sans x Toriel Content Warning - Alcohol being used to cope, self-deprecation, trauma from being stuck in a time loop.

Sans the skeleton is an asshole. Sans Serif the skeleton, is in fact, the biggest and most ungrateful asshole. Something wonderful, someone wonderful came around. A new blossom of light and kindness in the monotony that has been the RESET phenomena. And that someone wonderful became something so dear to him. That someone wonderful fell in love with the world around them, fell in love with monster kind.

But most importantly? That someone wonderful fell in love with his brother. The light of his life, the one person that no matter what, kept him going. Such a wonderful thing should be celebrated, cherished, protected no matter what.

So why couldn’t he shake that ache in his SOUL? That ache that had him getting the harder stuff from Grillby’s, much to the bartender’s confusion. Normally he’d try not to deviate too hard from the usual, but… Whatever took the edge off.

Sans should be thankful, after all. Someone else was around who finally not just understood, but appreciated and truly loved his baby brother. Everything he hoped for in a partner for Papyrus was right there; sweet, kind, gentle, loyal, funny, puzzle-loving, smarter than she’d give herself credit for, and really cute. Downright adorable when she was frustrated.

But…

It turned out everything he hoped for in a partner for his little brother was, well… Everything he once hoped for in a partner for himself. 

He’d had that before. Had it many times. So many times that he couldn’t feasibly count them. Toriel was one hell of an amazing woman, and stars, did she make his SOUL light up the first hundred times around.

He swore that he’d love her a thousand times over. And to his credit, he did. But each introduction, each time having to pretend he didn’t know her, pretend he hadn’t been best friends with her, pretend he hadn’t put a ring on her, hadn’t had-… … It felt like it left an ache in his SOUL. One that just hurt more and more, the more he kept trying to make it work. It was better that Toriel and he stayed friends. After all, she wanted kids with a partner, and he couldn’t commit to that. Sans loved her too much to put her through how broken he was any more. He swore he wasn’t going to leave her wondering why he would shy away from letting her know too much about him.

He wasn’t going to leave her begging to know why he’d wake up screaming in the night. Wouldn’t ask him who Celeste was, or who Cambria and Corbel were.

That was his burden to bear, no one else’s. 

It was better that way. No more commitments that would be reversed, no more promises that he knew he couldn’t keep, no more “I love you”s that he’d pour out his SOUL into and leave the other monster confused by the depths of it. It was going better.

It was going better. After the countless loops, he figured he’d healed from that ache, learned his lesson, to not get too attached.

And here he was.

Feeling his SOUL sing melodies for someone who was already happily taken.

All because there was some glimmer of hope, from the fact they could remember, that just maybe…

… No, better off that they don’t know. Better off they never know. He knew how he was in a relationship, he knew how hard he was to deal with.

That kind and gentle SOUL didn’t deserve to go through that.

Sans felt for sure, that he definitely didn’t deserve to feel their warmth, their kindness, their love.

And swallowed down that pain with another drink.

[borisbubbles]

12. ESTONIA 5Miinust & Puuluup - "(nendest) Narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi" 20th place

Decade Ranking: 40/153 [Above Trenuletul, below Pasha Parfeny]

For those of you who don't speak Estonian.

This is message for those that didn't believe in them.

Guess where they are honey.

They're in the final.

and they're here to stay 💋 :dramatic tallharpa:

YES, I KNOW, they're out this early. Honestly, It feels incorrect to rank 5M&P anywhere other than right above Trenuletul (their spiritual ancestor), and we've already reached them point on the spreadsheet, so... Blame that year for producing 11 better entries.

I don't think Estonia warrants an introduction this year. From the second ANY of us heard :inhales: nendestnarkootikumidesteiteameküllmidagi, :exhales (this may seem difficult to type out, but I speak a language that has words such as meervoudigepersoonlijkheidsstoornis and arbeidsongeschiktheidscommissie. Pity for the five readers I get from countries such as Romania and Portugal). Anyway, from the second any of us heard [LongestTitleEver], we all knew we were going to be in for a WILD ride.

And indeed, if there's anything you can say about Estonia is that their song went HARD in basically every live performance.

THE MEMEDANCE

(symmetrically branching out 😍)

THE TAVERN BRAWL INTO FRATERNIZATION NARRATIVE

OLD FARTS CARRYING ♥ ♥ ♥

(Yeah he does look like VSauce, i knooow...x)

Shenanigans coated by song whose lyrics effectively boil down to "Don't do drugs! Drugs are bad! Allow me to demonstrate all that can go wrong. :demonstrates absolutely nothing wrong: " 😍. This entry is hotter than a stovetop.

Never forget that they qualified, fairly comfortably, from the semi of death, with an absolutely FOUL live performance! 😂 (no wonder that Sofia Coll comparison came naturally...x). Sometimes the song and concept are good enough to carry a televote, take notes countries with no idea what makes a televoter tick (Belgium, Austria, Azer...x).

All in all, it was a really fun ride, so why not higher?

Well... You know I love a good trainwreck and Estonia provided one... but it's the same deal as Raiven and Kaleen in a sense. I think the song's really good on its own. It's a rich composition that masterfully showcases Estonia's musical tradition. No other country in the WORLD could present an entry like (Nendest) Narkootikumidest.

Yet, I found that the lives didn't do it as much justice as I would have liked. (Nendest) Narkootikumidest's first live I saw (the one at Hommik Aniga) remains the best one, largely because they managed to curb the chaos for just the right amount of time before unleashing it into a psychedelic shitstorm. What we got in Malmö was very fun too, but not quite as epic.

It's a little bit nitpicky, I know, but bear with me. I really like everyone left in the ranking. It's the little details such as "this doesn't reach its full potential" or "these vocals are kinda crooked" (both of which apply to Estonia 💔) that are going to make or break your further survival, alongside my personal whim. (Nendest) Narkootikumidest was good, and I cherish it, but I know it could have been better (case in point: Finland beat them by a handful of points 💀), and that realization sealed their fate for me.

That said, MEGA STOKED Estonia qualified (and some of my friends got to hang out with them during the off-time in Malmö you can imagine how jealous I am), so let's hear the song one last time, with THIS handy format so you have no excuse to misidentify Marko, Ramo, Lancelot, Kölver, North Korea (lol) and Päevakoer ever again!

and um lol yes another year with Lithuania as the top Baltic. Funny how that remains a constant over the years. (#LETTHEMHAVETHEIRFIRSTWINSOON)

THE RANKING

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 29: Back From Under the Ground

Summary: Duke’s introduction to the rest of the family opens new wounds in Tommy and Lucy’s relationship with Lizzie.

Word Count: 3,933

Warnings: Violence, references to drug dealing and use, terminal illness, sexual content, and polyamory.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 13: The Duke of the Saxon Shore

She sat at a booth in the empty Garrison, her fingers fiddling and twitching with each other while she stared at the closed door to the snug. Tommy had gone in there with Duke almost as soon as Esme arrived with the boy in tow. 

She understood that they needed some time to talk, just the two of them. But it was killing her not knowing how it was going. Not to mention the nerves that prickled at the thought of officially meeting Tommy’s long lost son.

What if he didn’t like her?

“I heard you got all cut up,” Esme came out from where she had ducked behind the bar to pour herself a glass of whiskey, sliding into the booth across from Lucy. 

“Yeah,” she shifted awkwardly against the flaring pain in her stomach.

“How bad?”

“Not bad enough to puncture anything important. But I was bleeding so much that Tommy had to cauterize it to keep me from dying,” she tried to shrug it off with a weak smile. “I’m fine.”

Esme snorted, shaking her head. “You always were unkillable.”

Lucy hoped that she didn’t notice the way that her smile slightly cracked at that. Let’s hope not.

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small satchel of gold, sliding it across the table to Esme. “The rest of the payment for bringing him to us. Plus a little extra. As a thank you.”

Esme took it and slipped it into the pouch belted around her waist.

“You know, I was impressed with how quickly you were able to find Evadne Barwell for us. If you ever wanted back in, there could be work for you here.”

Esme gave her a crooked smile. “No. I prefer the clear air. And I won’t ever be tied to the whims of Thomas Shelby again. But thanks for the offer.”

Lucy nodded, eyes sliding anxiously back towards the snug. The familiar pit of guilt opened up inside her. Had Zelda still been alive when she and Tommy first got together? Would Duke hate her for having his father’s heart when he mother had gotten nothing but a baby and a stolen watch?

Esme reached out, smoothing her palm along the back of Lucy’s hand. “Don’t feel bad. Zelda would have liked you.”

Lucy looked over at her, surprised. “You think so?”

Esme nodded. “Duke’s a good kid. A little rough around the edges, but good. He won’t cause any problems for you. Even if he did, Thomas is dedicated to you. More than anyone else.”

“Sometimes it feels like the whole bloody universe is trying to tear us apart,” Lucy whispered. “Sometimes I wonder if he’s right about us being punished. For everything that we’ve done.”

“His love for you is stronger than any outside forces. He brought you here with him to meet his son rather than his wife. That means something. Does she even know yet?”

Lucy internally cringed at the thought of how Lizzie would react. “No. She doesn’t.”

Esme gave her a look that seemed to say, well, there you go. She downed the rest of her whiskey and stood. “I need to be getting back.”

“You aren’t staying? What if he doesn’t want to stay here with us?”

“He will,” Esme spoke with such sage confidence it was impossible to argue with her. “And even if he doesn’t, he can find his own way back to camp. It was good to see you again, Lucy.”

She nodded. “You too, Esme.”

She watched her leave, the fiddling of her fingers increasing now that there was no one to distract her from her thoughts. Her throat burned for a glass of whiskey, gazing longingly at the shelf behind the bar. 

Maybe it wouldn’t matter anymore if they took up drinking again. They were dying already, what more bad could a few glasses of whiskey a day possibly do?

The door to the snug opened, and her head snapped up to meet Tommy’s eyes. 

“Lucy.”

She pulled herself hastily to her feet, weaving around the tables to approach him. He stepped fully out of the snug, Duke shadowing behind him. 

The boy was slender, but when he moved, she identified that familiar, prowling motion. Like a big cat stalking through the trees. And his eyes were just like Tommy’s too. Even if the shade was a little different, the way that they stared at her, calculating and clever, was so bloody familiar that their relation was undeniable. 

“Duke,” Tommy cleared his throat. “This is my partner, Lucy Winters.”

“Hello,” she smiled at Duke nervously. He looked her up and down, hands in his pockets. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” he expression was guarded, but his eyes and voice were warm. He cocked his head. “Partner in what?”

Lucy hesitated, unsure how to best answer. 

“In everything,” Tommy said simply. Duke looked between them, understanding in his gaze. Lucy braced herself for anger to cross his features, but none did. 

“Johnny will be here soon to help prepare for the family meeting,” she told Tommy.

“Right,” he turned to Duke. “Will you be alright staying here with him while Lucy and I go run an errand? We won’t be long.”

Duke stepped deeper into the pub, looking around with interest. “I suppose.”

Right on cue, Johnny came bursting through the door, all smiles and chattering. When Tommy introduced him to Duke, his brows raised momentarily, look of surprise quickly melting away into one of mischief. 

“Oh, Tom, you old Tomcat. Shoulda known you had at least one of these running around somewhere,” he chuckled. Tommy rolled his eyes, sighing exasperatedly while gathering up his coat. 

“You’re sure you’re alright if we go?” he asked Duke, who nodded. He seemed more at ease with Johnny, perhaps because he recognized another Romani traveler. “Right,” he gave Johnny instructions to get everything set up, and to not introduce Duke to anyone until they had returned, then they headed for the door. “We’ll be back soon,” he promised.

“It went alright?” Lucy asked after they piled into the car and started driving in the direction of Montague Street.

“Alright enough.”

She gave his shoulder a squeeze. “He seems like a good kid.”

“I suppose we’ll see.”

“You’re sure about not telling Lizzie before everyone else?”

“Yeah,” he affirmed. “I am.”

She shrugged. It was his call. “Alright.”

They came to a stop and got out of the car. Tommy went around to the boot, pulling a black bag from it. 

“Ready?” he asked. She nodded. He reached into the bag, carefully starting the timer for the bomb nestled within. He clutched the straps of the bag in his gloved hands. “Let’s go.”

They walked down the street, mostly deserted this early in the morning. They’d paid the police ahead of time to block pedestrians from walking the street until they were done with their business to try to avoid as many unintended casualties as possible in case things went wrong. An officer was stationed at the entrance to the street, nodding at them in greeting when they walked past. Children peeked out from behind equipment at them, their faces smeared with soot. Fog danced around their ankles.

They crossed the bridge and approached the shop. Both owners–a man and his wife–were already bustling about, preparing to open for the day. 

Lucy’s eyes swept across the den which had become Arthur’s primary supplier of opium lately. Annoyed as she was at them for enabling Arthur’s bad habits–especially after they were already warned to stop–she couldn’t deny that their taste in decor was quite nice. 

Would be a shame to blow such a cute little shop off the map.

Tommy all but ignored the shopkeeper’s explanation that he only gave Arthur opium because the last time he showed up, he attacked his wife. Instead, he set the bag he was carrying onto a chair, so both the shopkeeper and his wife could see and hear the ticking of the bomb. He turned calmly to Lucy. 

“What type of tea would you like, love?”

She cocked her head, thinking. “Green.”

Tommy turned his gaze back to the shopkeeper, ordering a pot of green tea for them and slipping off his gloves. He and Lucy both took seats at the table. At Tommy’s order, the shopkeeper ran to get the remaining opium that he had stored away in the shop. His wife shuffled over with a tray of tea, the delicate China rattling at the way her hands trembled as she silently served them. The ticking of the bomb seemed unnaturally loud in the otherwise quiet of the shop. 

The shopkeeper returned with two parcels of opium which he set on the table. Lucy sipped at her tea happily, enjoying the comforting warmth while Tommy instructed the shopkeeper to never sell opium again. If he did, the consequences would be dire. 

Lucy let out a deranged little cackle when the shopkeeper’s wife murmured to her husband in Chinese that she didn’t think the bomb was real. Apparently they didn’t know that they were speaking with two people who were already dead. It didn’t matter one bit to either of them if they got blown sky high.

Tommy stood, sliding his gloves back on, shoving the two parcels of opium into the bag alongside the bomb. Lucy swallowed the rest of her tea and stood to follow him out of the shop. 

“What did the woman say?” he asked, once they’d gotten a reasonable distance away, headed back towards the bridge. 

“She didn’t think that it was a real bomb.”

He raised an eyebrow, glancing back towards where the owner and his wife were watching them retreat through the window with wide eyes. “Is that so?” They climbed the stairs to the bridge. “Well, in that case…” he raised his arm, and dropped the bag into the river below with a soft plop. Just as they got to the other side of the bridge, there was a massive BANG! from behind them, water spewing up from the river to drench the nearby bank–and the shop’s windows.

Lucy shot a smug look over her shoulder.

At the end of the street, Tommy paid off the officer, telling him that he could let the meandering pedestrians through now.

By the time that they got back to the Garrison, the other family members were only just starting to arrive. Charlie and Curly slipped into a booth. Arthur lingered by the bar. Duke was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is he?” Lucy asked Johnny.

“I stuck him in the back. Figured we could bring him out once Tommy’s ready to introduce him.”

She nodded, taking an offered cigarette from Tommy, who had slipped off his coat and suit jacket and was leaning against the bar. Lucy pressed her side against his, letting her head momentarily drop to rest against his shoulder. The melancholy that seemed to cling to her like smoke these days reawakened to let itself be known. 

Tommy turned his face to press a kiss to the top of her head. 

Finn arrived but a minute later, his new wife Mary on his arm. 

Lizzie came in last, hands stuffed into her pockets and her head down. She sat silently at a table in the middle of the room, not saying a word of greeting to anyone.

Lucy suddenly felt very bad for leaving her out of the loop regarding Duke. She shifted uncomfortably from side to side, hoping that the meeting could start soon so they could get this all over with. 

It was just Ada they were waiting on. 

“I’m going to go check on him,” she whispered into Tommy’s ear. He nodded, and she slipped away towards the back. Duke was standing there, shifting from foot to foot, eyes darting around nervously. He looked moments away from bolting. “Hey,” Lucy said gently.

He looked up at her, that guarded expression still on his face. “Hello, Miss. Winters.”

“You can just call me Lucy, kiddo,” she smiled. “If you’d prefer.”

“Alright.”

“It’s almost time. We’re just waiting on one person.”

His throat flexed when he swallowed. 

“Don’t worry. They may take a while to warm up, but it’ll be alright.” She took a cautious step forward, approaching him like she would a skittish horse. “If you need anything, let me know, okay? It’s what I’m here for.”

Duke fixed her with that curious gaze again. “When my father said that you’re his partner in everything…” he trailed off, head cocking. “What exactly is it that you do for him?”

Lucy couldn’t quite help the mischievous smile that ghosted across her features. “Whatever it is that he needs of me.”

Behind her, she heard the sound of the door opening and then the hum of Ada’s voice. She glanced over her shoulder, then back at Duke. 

“I have to go. See you out there.”

He nodded, nerves overtaking his face again.

She walked back out to find that Ada had taken a seat next to Lizzie. As soon as she settled back into her spot at Tommy’s side, he started the meeting. First welcoming Mary to the family, and then turning to Johnny, who gave him and Lucy a conspiratorial little smile before heading to the back to get Duke. 

He came out from where Johnny stashed him in the back, a nervous, suspicious look on his face, taking in all the new faces staring curiously at him. His eyes found Lucy and she gave him a small, encouraging smile. It seemed to help him relax, even if only a fraction.

Tommy stepped forward, a hand resting on Duke’s shoulder, and began to tell an abridged version of the events of him meeting Duke’s mother. “This is my son,” he announced to the family, a shocked silence filling the air of the pub. Lucy watched all their faces carefully. Most seemed only momentarily stunned, but Lizzie’s face twisted with cold wrath, staring at Tommy and Duke as though she hated them. Lucy was half afraid that she would jump out of her chair and try to throttle the poor boy. Lizzie snarled when Tommy announced that he was bringing Duke into the fold, and Lucy could have smacked her. 

This was his son. What else did Lizzie expect him to do? Just abandon him to continue life as a penniless wanderer?

She understood Lizzie may not be happy about this, especially at first, but was it too much to ask that she not lash out with the kid standing right there in front of her? 

Tommy urged Duke to take a seat at the bar. He slid onto the barstool next to Lucy. She gave him what she hoped was an encouraging, warm smile. He offered her a wobbly, tiny one in response. Tommy came to lean against the bar on the other side of her. 

“There are some mistakes I’ve made that I can never address. Some I can,” Tommy said. “Some wounds I can try to heal.”

“New wounds you can open up,” Lizzie spat back. Tommy flinched. Lucy felt her hackles rise, biting down hard on her tongue to keep from barking back at her. 

She had sympathy for her. Really, she did. But only to a point.

She was not going to allow her to keep kicking Tommy all throughout the precious little time he had left to live. 

“Anyway,” Tommy said quickly, trying to hide the hurt in his voice at Lizzie’s words. “That’s the business of the day.”

The pub was quiet, save for Ada’s request for whiskey, and Arthur pouring a bottle into a glass. Lucy looked back over at Tommy, reaching over to squeeze his bicep when she saw the look on his face. He looked to be only moments away from crying. 

He sent Duke with Arthur to work at the betting shop for the day. Duke shot her an uneasy look, gaze snapping between her and Arthur. She gave him an encouraging nod, and that along with Tommy’s quiet encouragement seemed to be enough for him to follow Arthur out of the pub. Tommy grabbed his suit jacket and coat, pulling both on.  

“Lizzie,” he said his wife’s name quietly. “Come on.” He rested a hand briefly on her shoulder when he walked past her towards the door. Lucy followed him outside. They lingered by the car, Lucy eyeing him curiously. She understood that he felt bad about the whole thing and how it was likely a deep blow for Lizzie after losing Ruby so recently, but she still worried what effect her words and behavior would have towards him. 

“Here we fucking go,” she sighed out, when Lizzie came out of the pub and walked towards them, her shoulders hunched up around her neck. She’d started slouching again, Lucy realized. An old habit that had mostly faded away after she and Tommy had gotten married.

“A fucking heads up would have been nice,” Lizzie said. But the usual venom wasn’t really there. Instead her voice was dulled and dead. Lucy frowned. She had been expecting more shouting. 

“Lizzie,” she began, trying to keep her voice gentle. “We didn’t…”

“Fuck off. Both of you,” her eyes darted between them, lips set in a miserable frown. “I’m calling a driver to take me home.” She stalked away without another word, before either of them could respond. 

They watched her go, neither trying to stop her. Lucy sighed, resting a hand on her face, pushing her thick hair out of her eyes. Whatever anger she felt briefly towards Lizzie in the pub was quickly overridden by guilt. 

“Well, that wasn’t how I was expecting things to go.”

Tommy was still staring after Lizzie, a deeply guilty look in his eyes. “No. Me neither.”

“We need to get to the church anyway, don’t we?”

“Yeah.”

She gave him a little nudge, hoping that the walk would help to smooth over the regret they were both experiencing. He reached down to take her hand, holding onto her tight when she tried to pull away. 

“People will see–”

“It doesn’t matter. We’re dying anyway.”

She swallowed painfully. He was right. Even if they did kick up a massive scandal, they would not have to deal with the consequences for long. 

She squeezed her fingers around his, holding onto him the entire way to the church’s front door. 

At the entrance, she hesitated. “I’ll wait out here.”

Tommy gave her a look, tightening his grip on her. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

She frowned. “What? Why?” She sincerely doubted he was that scared of Linda that he didn’t want to face her alone. 

“Mosley just tried to have you killed. I…I’d feel better if you stayed with me.”

She felt herself soften. Her sweet, overprotective gangster. Reaching out, she tenderly touched his face. 

“Alright. But if I burst into flames, it’s your fault.”

He snorted, giving her a gentle tug. “I think if I can walk on consecrated ground, so can you.”

She huffed out a laugh. He had a point, there. 

The meeting with Linda went better than she could have ever expected. She and Tommy sat side by side in the pews, shoulders brushing, Lucy not saying a word as Tommy negotiated with Linda. Linda had never liked her, and she didn’t want to fuck things up by opening her mouth.

All it took was a check for ten thousand pounds written out to the foundation of missionaries Linda ran, and she agreed to help look after Arthur. 

“So,” Lucy said, once they were outside the church. “That’s Arthur taken care of.”

“Yes.” 

She glanced over at him, watching him mentally place a checkmark next to his brother’s name. 

“I want you to reach out to our men in Boston and Miquelon and tell them to get ready.”

“Okay,” Lucy cocked her head. “We’re still waiting on word as to what Michael’s plans are.”

“I imagine they won’t know until he’s released.”

“Which will be soon.”

“Yes.”

“I think we should have Johnny come with us. We could use the extra help.” With her abdomen still bandaged and healing, it would be good to have another set of hands there in case things got messy.

“That would probably be a good idea.”

She looked out over the misty cobbles of Small Heath. “I’ll make the arrangements, then.”

∗ ∗ ∗

The Liverpool Docks were bustling with people. Lucy stuck close to Tommy, her paranoia agitated ever since the attack in the woods. Every time she saw a face she thought might look familiar, she felt herself tense with the worry that she was being followed again. 

The meeting with Stagg went well enough. Lucy watched Tommy deal with him from her place leaned against the wall, arms crossed over her chest.

“I’m not sure what to make of him,” she admitted to Tommy after they left Stagg’s office. 

“He’s alright,” he said, lighting a cigarette. “And he helped Arthur.”

She hummed. There was no denying that. 

After they slipped back into the car, Tommy suddenly twisted in the driver’s seat before starting the engine, cupping the side of her face and kissing her softly. She left out a small sound of surprise, fingers curling in his lapels. 

“Thank you for helping me with everything,” he whispered, peppering kisses along her neck. She stroked his hair, trailing her fingers down to brush at the base of his skull. Above where the tumor was growing in his head. She swallowed around the lump in her throat. 

“Of course.”

He nuzzled at her, and she leaned back to look into his face. 

“Listen. I’ve been thinking. You could take Lizzie to the Midland for the night. It might be good for her to get a change of scenery from Arrow House.” She still felt bad about…well, everything. It would be good to do something nice for her. Help balance the scales in her head to weigh out the guilt. At least for a little while. 

He frowned, head cocking, considering. “You might be right.”

“And maybe…it should just be you and her. I could get my own room, if you still want me close by. Or I can stay at Charlie’s yard for the night. No one will be able to get me there.”

His eyes narrowed. “Absolutely not.”

“Tommy…”

“I’m not doing anything with her without you there.”

She met his stubborn gaze for a long moment, then threaded their fingers together, hoping that he knew she was grateful for his devotion. “Okay.”

He nodded, shoulders relaxing, clearing his throat roughly. Lucy cocked her head, looking him over.

He always placed so much guilt on his shoulders. It worried her, the effect that it undeniably had on him. 

Despite how he tried to hide it, she knew he felt horrible for everything Lizzie had gone through due to them being shackled together. 

She gave his hand a squeeze. “Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

He offered her a weak smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes, leaning in to press his lips to her hair. “I’ll book the three of us a room for tomorrow night.”

“Not tonight?”

He shook his head. “Just want to be with you, tonight.”

She felt her heart shudder with affection for him, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his lips. “Alright, then.”

He wrapped his arm around her, encouraging her to snuggle into his side with her head on his shoulder as he started the car and pulled out onto the road. 

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[blueberri-chee]

[▮▮▮] 1

Hiromi Higuruma tightened the knot of his precisely aligned tie as he surveyed the chaotic construction site from his parked car. His reputation as a defense attorney who thrived on precision and logic preceded him. To Hiromi, myths and superstitions were distractions, born of fear and ignorance. Yet, something about this case had unsettled him from the start. Perhaps it was the lack of concrete answers in the reports or the strange expressions on the faces of the workers he’d briefly observed.

“Every delay has a reason,” he muttered, stepping onto the site. His polished shoes sank slightly into the damp ground, and the faint tang of disturbed earth reached his nose. He scanned the half-finished tower rising into the fog and suppressed a twinge of unease. “And none of them involve ghosts.”

Across the site, the head of the Gojo clan stood with her arms crossed, her expression unreadable. Her tailored coat shielded her from the chill, but it did little to quell the simmering frustration beneath her composed exterior. She had watched the land change over the months with an almost visceral ache, each new beam and slab of concrete a scar across a place that once pulsed with spiritual harmony. To her, this wasn’t just an ambitious skyscraper—it was a monument to human arrogance.

Hiromi’s first steps onto the site caught her attention. He carried himself with a confidence, his sharp suit and measured movements clashing with the chaotic, grimy backdrop of the construction zone. As he emerged from the site office, engrossed in a stack of legal documents, their eyes met for the first time.

She tilted her head slightly, studying him with the detached curiosity of someone piecing together a puzzle. There was an intensity in her gaze that made Hiromi pause mid-step, as though she could see straight through his polished exterior.

“They seemed to have hired a attorney.. how interesting” She remarked, breaking the silence. Her voice was calm, yet it carried an undertone of quiet authority, "do you believe the complains hold some truth? the ghosts?"

Hiromi raised an eyebrow, startled by her sudden approach. “they don't exist…" he replied, recovering quickly. “why? do you?”

“Merely curious.” Her faint smile gave away nothing, but her words carried weight, as if she knew far more than she let on.

He hesitated for a moment, then folded his arms. “Curiosity doesn’t usually bring people to construction sites.”

“Neither does skepticism,” she countered smoothly.

Hiromi found himself smirking despite the odd tension in the air. “Touché.” He studied her briefly, taking in the sharpness of her features and the quiet resolve in her stance. Whoever she was, she wasn’t here on a whim.

“If you’re here to unravel a mystery, you won’t find much. Just rumors and faulty equipment.”

“Rumors often hold a grain of truth,” She replied, her gaze unwavering. “Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Higuruma?”

Hiromi’s expression shifted subtly at her use of his name, for a moment, the air between them was charged, a silent exchange of unspoken intentions. He masked his surprise quickly. “You’ve done your homework.”

“I prefer to be prepared,” she said simply.

"And who might you be to come prepared?"

"We'll be seeing a lot of each other, Mr. Higuruma. so let's keep the introductions for the second time." With a nod, she turned and began walking away, leaving Hiromi with more questions than answers.

As he watched her retreating figure, a flicker of doubt crossed his mind. Perhaps this case wasn’t as straightforward as he’d assumed.

Start of something new or.....

[watchthisqqq]

The 10 most Memorable Shows my first year in Bl

I am still a newbie so there are a lot of shows I have not seen yet. Here is the list of all the shows I watched over the year. This is solely based on how much a show stuck with me despite watching over 100 shows. Obviously my favs are going to be on here but not all of these shows got a 10/10 rating for me.

Blueming

I loved Cha Si Won I think sometimes characters just stick with you. I admire him so much for being insecure but he still makes the brave choices and chooses vulnerability. Thinking about that scene where his classmates confront him about his weight as a child makes my anxiety sky rocket. The sex scenes where they are silhouetted in black and blue background just unforgettable and so linked to this show in my brain. I just can’t describe how much I connected with this and seeing gifs from this show just causes a flood of emotions.

Cherry Magic (Thailand)

This show had to be on this list for so many reasons. This was my introduction to Bls and basically started the hobby that is taking up all my time. What a way to start. I felt almost high watching this. It effected my mood positively throughout the day. A great regret is that I was not active on tumblr while watching and did not get to share the communal joy. This show pretty much solidified that I will be a Tay Tawan fan for life. I watched all of the kiss trilogy for him and it was a labor of love.

Love for Love's Sake

I get teary eyed thinking about this show. Man I really do feel love for it and the characters. I struggle to even articulate what I love. Just the level of compassion it has and the understanding it has of not liking yourself. Tae Myung Ha is one of my favorite characters. What a badass.

Kinnporshe

I mean no other QL show is like it. I actually ended up re-watching it on a whim to see if my fondness for it was overstated. Still loved it. Apo is an incredible beautiful man. Even among all these beautiful people he just stands out. Frequently when watching a gun fight I remember the dick grabbing and them twirling together. Vegas/Pete was not my thing despite Bible being so hot but they were very memorable. I’m also amazed that this got made. This must have cost so much money to make and it’s 14 episodes (If only 4 minutes had a couple more episodes). Also my first high heat show so it definitely stuck in my brain. It just felt so ballsy and I admire when shows go all out.

4 minutes/Rebound

Cheating a little with this one. I am adding these in not because of the shows themselves necessarily but because of the fandom experience. It was so fun to see everyone’s reactions each week. Trying to figure out the mystery in 4 minutes. Just so many theories! Guessing it right based on others takes. Also have to mention the sex scenes wowza. The early episodes of Rebound brought me so much joy and sharing that joy was so fun.

I Told Sunset About You

If you’ve seen it do I need to explain why this is on the list? Dear god. It’s just. All of it. Another one where the sorrow stuck with me. It’s hard for me to shake and has stopped me from watching the sequel even though I know how good it will be.

My Pornographer

Kijima Rio just sticks with you. What realistic self-loathing and the ways it perpetuates and destroys. He is so difficult but you want to love him but also scream at him to make different choices. Of course you know someone like him in real life even if their behaviors are not the same. Slow painful growth. It would have broken my heart if it didn’t lead to a happier ending. The sex scenes ! Fascinating thing for me is how differently people have interrupted this show.

The On1y One

I love them. I love them. I knew the ending wouldn’t fulfill the glorious beginning but I loved it so much I knew it would be a 10 despite itself. Also was the ending not memorable in it’s level of frustration?!?

Unknown

I was not comfortable watching this show which also led to it sticking in my head outside of how good it was. I was against them getting together and yet also rooting for them. Wei Qian is another character I feel strongly about and feels such great sympathy for. This would have been a 10/10 if only they had tweaked the ending a little. I read more analysis about this show than probably any another show.

Ossan No Pants ga Nadatee Ii Janai ka

Crying lots of crying even though this generally a pretty happy show. I think for anyone whose family was/is not particularly accepting of you this will hit you. They care about each other and they are all trying their best. I wish my parents had changed in the way that Makato did.

Bonus: That mandarin shot from the time of fever.

Happy New Year! I also want to say I appreciate the community. It’s been such a fun ride this first year. Thanks to @benkaben for the idea