#the lines I wrote are going to be in this project
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I'm tired and aroace, so here's a reading from that perspective on Klavier's character arc in Apollo Justice
Something that's really interesting to me is that it's actually really easy to read Klavier as experiencing internalized homophobia. I'm not even just saying this to say it. It's not really obvious but I think it is a valid reading of Klav's character. Adding to this, I think you could read Guilty Love/Love Love Guilty as a representation of compulsory heterosexuality or even amatonormativity. To be clear this doesn't make the reading of him being bisexual or pansexual or anything else any more or less valid, but I do think reading Klavier as experiencing internalized homophobia and Guilty Love/Love Love Guilty being a song about compulsory heterosexuality and/or amatonormativity adds a lot to his character.
I don't even know how to explain my thinking here. Klavier's preference for prosecuting over music could be thought of as an allegory for being aroace. Like absolutely maybe I'm high off of sleep deprivation but consider it for a second. We know Klavier wrote 13 Years Hard Time For Love when he was 17. 13 Years Hard Time For Love, like Guilty Love, has official lyrics (Klav, buddy, you are fucking ridiculous). Neither 13 Years Hard Time For Love nor Guilty Love come off as Klavier being happy about his situation (obviously I might just be misreading the translated lyrics or projecting my own interpretation but regardless). Even ignoring potential readings of the two official lyrical versions of the Gavinners' music we have, let's go back to that "Klavier's preference for prosecuting over music could be an allegory for being aroace" thing.
Aside from the obvious, that being Klavier's music is mostly if not all love songs regarding crime in one way or another (13 Years Hard Time For Love treats the love itself as a crime, while Guilty Love is basically Klavier singing to a hypothetical girlfriend about having a preference for prosecution and even romanticizing a crime scene), when you consider what a rockstar's life is like, it's really easy to read Klavier breaking up the Gavinners and focusing on prosecution as embracing aromanticism/asexuality.
To be clear, I'm not saying you can't be aroace and a rockstar. You absolutely can. In Klavier's case specifically however, he had a history of writing love songs. How he handles it in Guilty Love feels like he's forcing it, and how he handles it in 13 Years Hard Time For Love feels off in a way I can't really place? It's not quite like he's forcing it, but it still feels off. It's almost like at the age of 17 he'd never dated anyone before, or if he had, the relationship sucked, and he took that as what relationships were supposed to be like. Guilty Love feels like a traditional breakup song with the added twist that the songwriter is a prosecutor and injects that into everything he fucking does (but also has the added twist that he improvises a line that would imply part of the reason for the breakup is because he'd rather be spending time with Apollo, which is where my thought that Klavier could be experiencing internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality comes from).
"But Jinx, didn't he write a song called My Boyfriend Is The Prosecution's Witness?" Yeah, but we don't know exactly when he wrote it or what the lyrics are. For all we know, it could continue with the vibe I get of "I don't think this man has a healthy relationship with romance" from Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love. The fact that Klavier injects crime into his songs further stands out to me because that just. Doesn't seem healthy? Like yes, we only have the lyrics to two of the Gavinners' songs, but on the other end of that, associating romance with crime in the way Klavier does in Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love is weird. In Guilty Love he breaks up with someone because he prefers prosecution and he romanticizes crime scenes (the two aren't related I just worded it weird sorry lol), and in 13 Years Hard Time For Love it feels like he's flip-flopping between "this is a relationship I'm enjoying" and "I would really rather not be in this relationship" which is really obvious when that relationship is compared to a prison, specifically a "prison of love where the key never opens" which. Is a line. And also implies that he sees the relationship as akin to a prison (and let's also acknowledge that Klavier is singing 13 Years Hard Time For Love from the perspective opposite his own; that being, someone being prosecuted instead of the prosecutor). I also want to point out that if we decide to just go off of song titles, it's certainly something. Aside from Guilty Love and 13 Years Hard Time For Love, we have:
Love With No Chance Of Parole
My Boyfriend Is The Prosecution's Witness
Atroquinine, My Love
Sir are you okay? what is your experience with romance and why does it seem like none of it is good
Anyway, I don't think Klavier has a healthy relationship with romance and I'd honestly be surprised if this doesn't also extend to sex. Even if he's not aroace-spec, there's something there that seems to just give him a not great perspective on romance. This could be a lot of things obviously. Negative experiences, a bitter breakup, lack of experience, it could be a lot of things.
"But he flirts with Ema and Apollo, so he must have some experience with romance." Not necessarily. I've never been in a proper relationship in my life and am also aroace-spec and still sometimes flirt with people when the impulse hits. I'm not exactly flirtatious like Klavier is, but I'll still flirt with or tease people if the opportunity presents itself. No relationship experience and being aroace doesn't immediately mean you can't flirt successfully lol. This also brings me back to the topic of amatonormativity and Klavier experiencing compulsory heterosexuality.
Personally I think an argument could be made for Klavier being polyamorous. I promise this is relevant but let me explain why I say this first. The entire conversation about Klavier's guitars during Turnabout Serenade when you run into him in his office is what I'll be referencing here. It's not a long conversation, but it's still relevant.
Apollo: Look at all the guitars! Why so many? Klavier: You can never have too many guitars. They are like… my lovers. Apollo: (I didn't just hear him say that.) Trucy: They're backup guitars, Apollo. Don't you know anything? Rock 'n' rollers always smash their guitars at the end of a show! Apollo: No wonder it's so hard to make it as a musician. Trucy: You know what, you should try rocking a little, Apollo. Apollo: And breaking his guitars while he watches? That might be a little too rocking. Klavier: Ah ha ha ha. Of course, I would never do such a thing. Did I not say, they are like my lovers? Do I seem like the kind of man who would do such a thing to ones he loves? Trucy: No, no! Not at all! I mean, you're Mr. Gavin, upstanding prosecutor!
That first line from Klavier, to me at least, feels like he's basically saying "You can never have too many lovers!" Why is this relevant to this post? Because amatonormativity generally includes monogamy. Even if Klavier is just polyamorous and not aroace (although I 100% think he's both poly and aroace-spec), he'd still be affected by amatonormativity.
This brings me to another thing. Klavier feels most like he's being himself around Apollo and Ema (and Trucy and Athena by extension since they're always investigating with Apollo in AJ:AA and Dual Destinies respectively but that's beside the point. Klavier feels most like he's being himself when he's interacting with Apollo and Ema specifically). It's worth noting that Apollo and Ema, much like Klavier, work in law, which means they end up in court a lot. This further means that if he started a relationship with either or both of them, he wouldn't have to worry about his job getting in the way of a relationship. He trusts both of them (which seems to be the only point in AJ:AA where his willingness to trust people didn't come back to bite him in the ass but I digress) and they seem to trust him, even if they do find him obnoxious. He wouldn't have any reason to not be himself around them, and I think that mutual trust would give Klavier a relationship (or relationships) that he doesn't feel like he has to force to work. He probably wouldn't feel like he's abandoning them every time he prosecutes a case (which is how it's implied he feels in Guilty Love) because there's a non-zero chance that they're also going to be working on that case, and they wouldn't have to worry about his attention being on his work too much because let's be honest, they're all workaholics and would probably be working on the same case.
So basically, I think at the very least it's easy to read Klavier as experiencing a bunch of negativity in regards to his sexual orientation, however you imagine it, and I think reading him breaking up the Gavinners as an aroace coming out metaphor is a 10/10 reading. I might make a better version of this post because I doubt it's very coherent but I'm too tired for that right now lol. This barely makes sense to me, and I wrote it. So I won't judge anyone for saying this is barely comprehensible. Anyway I'm gonna go eat some breakfast then get some sleep
#i have so many thoughts about the implications of 13 years hard time for love but i don't want to get hunted for sport lol#anyway enjoy 1.5k words of sleep deprived word vomit#ace attorney#klavier gavin#ace attorney analysis#character analysis#also dont tell me “klavier might've not been writing 13 years hard time for love from someone else's perspective” because i am aware#anyway take whatever this absolute mess is
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When I first watched ST, Mike���s, “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” immediately struck me as him projecting. Like anyone, I’ve read a lot of analysis and I’ve seen a lot of takes, but let me explain mine.
In my opinion, until s4, there’s more evidence to support the idea that MIKE is the one who doesn’t like girls, rather than Will. He only has 3 close (guy) friends. He never remarks on girls he finds pretty, he shows zero interest in any girl but El (which I honestly think is just him trying to hold on to a veneer of heterosexuality). In s2, Will, Lucas, and Dustin wants to be friends with Max- it’s Mike who dislikes her.
I think Mike and Will have always had a different kind of friendship. Even if they don’t have the right words for it, it’s kind of like the codependent homoerotic teenage friendships people make memes about. I mean, honestly, Mike won’t properly apologize to his own girlfriend but he runs with his tail between his legs to apologize to his ‘best friend’. Mike has always known he was Different, but he didn’t have the support system Will has, or the time to try and figure it out.
In s3, Mike is going headfirst into his relationship with El. He’s copying everyone around him and doing what he thinks he should do, which (imo) is why he spends SO much time making out with El (living up to the red blooded American male fantasy) than establishing a genuine relationship with her. Something about it is Off, but I don’t know if he’s even admitted that to himself. And Will made him stop (with the “day without girls”). Will made him hang out with him, and Will made Something Happen.
They’ve always had Something between them, but verbalizing it is too dangerous in a town like Hawkins in the 80s. They just knew that they were… different. Best friends in a way Lucas and Dustin weren’t. But Mike crossed the line during the fight (“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”) and after he says it, you can see him pull back. He felt guilty and weird and he didn’t know why, and he felt defensive and felt like he was backed into a corner so he said it. Will was being earnest and honest in a way he wasn’t ready for- but he doesn’t know that. He just knows that he felt sick and needed Will to stop. So he blamed Will. Because it’s Will’s being weird, right? Will is the one who’s making him feel weird, because HE’S the one being weird about it.
“It’s not MY fault YOU don’t like girls!” As much as we like to joke about it (Mike accusing Will of being gay whenever they argue) a lot of byler fights make a lot of sense in this vein, and I think it’s a really interesting insight into his character imo. Will is being honest and genuine in a way Mike isn’t ready for. Pushing Will away and attacking him in such a vitriolic ways really ensures that Mike’s masculinity is protected while Will is shamed (in Mike’s mind, at least.) The Byers moved to Cali so soon that the events of the rain fight were never truly discussed.
Mike REALLY hurt Will and I think that’s why he didn’t reach out- because he didn’t know what to say. He avoided his feelings and thinking about Will as much as possible and wrote El letters. But seeing Will at the airport changed something. He’s taller. He’s grown. He’s confident now (I’ll get back to that later). And when he sees him, Mike’s stomach does something it’s never done before. And he doesn’t know why. But despite that, he goes to hug his girlfriend. He doesn’t hug Will.
I firmly believe that Mike is gay (again, imo. Bi Mike people, ily, I love ur analysis, ur cool asf, this is just my opinion). I don’t think he’s ever felt a genuine attraction to El. He’s mimicking his parents and his friends and comics and fairytales- he will be her knight in shining armor, her Superman. With El, it’s friendship and the anxiety of a facade, but he mistakes it for the butterflies of a crush. With Will, it’s the only time he feels something REAL. I just don’t think he’s used to feeling genuine feelings, especially powerful feelings (let’s not forget he’s a teenager, the hormones are RAGING) and while he likes it (even though he has trouble admitting it… I think he gets better as s4 goes on though) it’s overwhelming and scary. I think he interprets those feelings as some kind of threat (especially considering that he’s been bullied before) or at least, he subconsciously does.
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🎶The upcoming cast members🎶
I'm pleased to finally publicly announce that I'm part of the team working on this fantastic project!
🎶The Phantom of Sunny Day Jack🎶
Coming soon~
#Sunny Day Jack#Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack#SunnyDayJack#sdj#swwsdj#The Phantom of Sunny Day Jack#you have no idea how hard it was to keep quiet about this#the lines I wrote are going to be in this project#I'm still flailing#I hope you all enjoy it!
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so. I've been reading some posts on the jedi order tag AND i won't talk about my opinion on "are jedi good or bad discourse" BUT i wanna point out some lore to everyone who's complaining about the jedi taking kids into their order: (in the EU) it wasn't always like this.
if you take swtor era (more than 3000 years before the prequels) there were many jedi who joined at an older age. like, for example there was a guy who broke his engagement to become one. most jedi remember their families because they were old enough when they decided to go.
THEN in darth bane's book trilogy (circa 1000 yesrs before the prequels) there is a passage where two sith lords are talking about taking bane, already an adult, to study at korriban. one doubted him because he was too old, ans the other told him he sounded like a jedi, and that ONE DAY jedi will have to accept only kids into their ranks if they really want to find "pure" people that can learn their lessons quicker.
one day!! so it wasn't always like that!! the ongoing wars with the sith, who corrupted and killed many of them, had pressured them into taking always younger people into their ranks.
also, consider a thing that this video explains super well: training to become a jedi is not like exercising, because there is a transformative lesson at the end of the training that changes everything. you can't just do as much as you can, but not finish.
the transformative lesson, as the video explains, is that through the force, everything is the same - from rocks and ships to life and death. at the end of the training you have to understand this fundamental truth.
yoda says "you have to unlearn what you have learned". during times where they were constantly killed off or corrupted by the dark side (and if you haven't learned this lesson you are more susceptible to this corrupting), younger people were taken in to actually finish their training (a training that was ultimately about being a good person AND that you could leave at any point if you weren't sold on that, too)
(remember that for the sith failure = death. like. that was the alternative for force sensitive kids. it's not like sith had any moral problem with taking kids away without consent. sith don't have moral problems: they believe that them being stronger in the force means they can do whatever they want as long as their strong enough to go and do it. there are MANY passages in many different star wars stories, even in different mediums, that say this out loud)
AND (this is more of a critical thought than just stating the lore) the fact that they started doing it out of necessity doesn't mean it's 100% good BUT you know. the whole set up of the prequels is that we're starting off the story in a period of crisis and decadence all around. most of the systems of the times were about to fall. OF COURSE they had problems. if they didn't, we wouldn't have the story to begin with.
that doesn't automatically mean jedi = bad and sith are better, tho. you wouldn't take the last, chaotic and decadent period to jugde something, would you? it's like deciding that the athenian democracy sucked because people at the times of Demosthenes failed at recognizing the new schemes in which the world was evolving into, and still believed that their city would be important as it had been in the previous century. They just didn't fucking expect the Macedons would conquer half the world known and more, and have the subsequent political power. Still, their experiences in the 5th century with democracy were very good, even better than ours on many fronts, if you contextualize a little. the jedi had flaws, and most importantly, they didn't fucking know the future and everything that ever happened, ever, so they made mistakes. that doesn't automatically make the system ill, or bad, or not-working. systems can have setbacks when the world changes. (just like athenian democracy had one when they lost the empire that was funding the democracy. they even had a tyranny for a while and then fixed the problems. that doesn't diminish retrospectively their democracy)
#this is longer than i expected it to be OPS. i wrote it quickly in one go so if there are any mistakes or some unclear parts. let me know!#i think it's quite clear from the second part that i am clearly pro-jedi and will always be. BUT i love sith lore also. it's a cool#universe to explore guys!! you can enjoy the bad guys even if they're fucked up u know? no one will judge you. you don't need to twist them#to make them “the good guys actually” (looks over at the acolyte's creators)#little note on the acolyte: MAN I SO WISHED THEY WOULD'VE WENT WITH SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF THE FIRST CHAPTERS OF THE BANE TRILOGY#it could've been so fucking good. ugh. I'll forever be grieving for all the Disney+ projects (except andor; mando s1 probably and rebels)#(YES EVEN TCW S7!! some of it wasn't so good. the last 4 episodes were definitely very cool even if they had problems like the rest of tcw.#but. the tags are not the right place to discuss this so OPS i don't even know why I'm talking about it here. ANYWAY BYE)#star wars#sw#jedi order#star wars prequels#the phantom menace#attack of the clones#revenge of the sith#pro jedi#darth bane trilogy#star wars the old republic#ALSO GUYS PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO IT'S AMAZING!!!! it's really really beautiful and doesn't consider the prequels so. even those who don't#like the jedi in the prequels can enjoy that i believe. really it's very well done and uses ONLY the original movies as sources. it's great#g posting
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i wrote a 500 word dynamic poem for neo-twiny jam :-)
i rewrote this in a few different ways with a handful of different drafts before settling on just doing a poem; this originally came from a full branching narrative i've had stewing for a while, and i might come back to it one day. but for now i enjoyed channeling that into this poem, which has also been very influenced by the fact that i've been writing hungry vampires for almost 2 months now.... it was also my first time messing with audio in twine, which ended up being way easier than i expected (i'm sure it helped that i only used one audio sample tho)
faith does contain sexual content, and while not super explicit, it is the main theme of the poem.
anyways hope you enjoy and check out the other entries here!
#if u read one day hike it's in the similar vein i guess. sad lesbians...lol#this is VERY embarrassing for me i do not write or share poetry very often so. HRNG#i tried to do more of a narrative style first with choices & an abrupt short voice#but i really didnt like it. felt even more embarrassing than this...#i dont think the way i write lends itself to that style & it felt very amateurish/childish#so i set it aside for a while and kept working on my other project in the meantime#so i think when i came back to it i was feeling partially inspired by what i had written for that which made me rewrite it again#sex and food and desire and hunger... you know how it is#not 100% about it all together but i like it more than the first 4 versions lmfao#i did try to do timed lines as well and it just.. didnt hit for me. i love/hate timed lines you have to really get them just right#or else they're just annoying iykwim#also i was surprised i actually hit 500 words i didnt think i was going to#also also this is a poem in that. i wrote it and am calling it a poem...mnfkjdg#anyways. ough#faith#other writing
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in my cutthroat careerbitch era
#guy literally signed up to partner project with me a DAY BEFORE THE DEADLINE#on a project I literally am already finished with.#did not ask my permission did not make any attempt to contact me#i cannot contact him because he followed 0 instructions on the syllabus#like. he just wrote his name next to mine to form a ‘group.’ again. literally direct before the deadline#and there is 0 way for me to exchange any information with him#so. sorry. I am not going to hunt down his social media and then coddle him into feeling like he contributed something#which btw would take up my saturday morning. on slack and zoom#[affirmation] I will not attempt to mitigate the consequences of this random man’s bad choice when they only affect him#instead I am going to finish today’s work and then try to enjoy my weekend#making this decision has of course made me also so tense and now i have a lingering guiltanxiety about it despite#this genuinely being somebody trying to take advantage of my work. well. foot down. line is drawn…
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find the word tag!
Thank you @the-down-upside-finch for the tag! (You can see their entry here)
My words are: beginning, right, leg, and tired
beginning ;
“I know many things. I know your past, your present—” Her hand trails downwards with every word, from her jaw to around Fenice’s throat, fingers curling inwards as she comes to point at Fenice’s heart— “and your innermost desires. I know of futures, certain and impossible. I know of beginnings and endings and everything in between. But in the end, it is your decision, child, whether you wish to know what I know. And you cannot know unless you ask.”
right ;
He keeps his sights forward—because forward is the only way he can move now—towards the Pontifex Khryso, their officiant who stands at the feet of the three colossal statues of the Trinity. Sitting in a gilded throne to the holy man’s right was that cursed man himself. Dantalion, the butcher, his sworn enemy. That disdainful man who lounged on his throne of corpses, who pillaged and conquered to satisfy his own vanity.
leg ;
The doe shifted from the momentum of the impact. Its knees buckled, the legs snapping beneath like twigs. Its body crumpled onto the ground with a dull thud, the offending arrow that pierced its heart brandished in the light of early spring.
tired ;
Nike’s chest ached at the memory of his brother. The stiff and tired lines of Isandros’ frame, figure swathed in shadows and harsh reds from the hearth in the dismal old manor they were forced to hold themselves up in. He swung the heavy mantle off his shoulders in a way he could not his burdens, draping it across a chair. The crown—a simple coronet, really; a band of gold free of embellishment, its base still tarnished by the rusted blood of their father—came off next, held in a knuckle-white grip between his hands.
Tagging: @asablehart @elrallin @maddstermind @ulysses-blues @koala2all @thewritersplace @innocentlymacabre
Your words are: hand, window, turn, sea
#some of these lines are really questionable in terms of quality considering how much i frantically wrote just before going to bed lol#collection.tag games#series.wctd#wctd.excerpt#collection.my projects#wctd.misc
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a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy
translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner
Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)
I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me
the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence
specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong
'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all
'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore
How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)
(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)
definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time
"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works
'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring
specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath
'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH
the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')
fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.
Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)
finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually
the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this
'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay
'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back
'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general
'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...
#rolling with difficulty#rwd starship#rwd professionals#my feel good hobby! as opposed to art: my feel bad hobby /j#im actually learning to play how can i make you stay on the guitar right now its a lot of fun but ow my fingers#ive also found a score for him but its super outside my skill level so we'll see how that goes#bmadd11 my beloathed#/also/ working on a little something based on that song but that wont... come into play for at least the next few weeks so#its an absolute monster of a project and school has started so i dont have high hopes for getting it done soon#i dont think i got to mention this on the actual post for borrow but ive literally been spinning that song in my brain since like 2020#genuinely. i've been thinking about how to translate that song for upwards of 3 years#grammar is just weird sometimes#i was gonna include let's go wandering by bibi zhou but i couldve SWORN i wrote a translation for that song before i just cant FIND it#spent 30 minutes hunting for the doc in my drive thats 30 minutes of my life wasted#but 'lets go wandering with a smile because we carry our home in our hearts' just fucks severely#also considered including forget your sorrows when the flowers bloom by zhou shen#bc im not gonna make a cpop post and *not* try and subject more poeple to zhou shen#but like that songs vibe is too... cottagecore to really make a good point there im just obsessed with one specific line#'If my memories are stolen and I forget all my love; I'll say to you “Hello!”#post amnesia vrla to the old crew??? the 'i dont know you. id love to get to know you again' of it all????#did this instead of my programming homework :|
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true immortality is so fun to think about in the long run
like vampires? you can still kill them. but true immortality is SO incredibly fascinating because the way i see it is that ur no longer an individual organism, youve become part of ur universe. you dont need to eat, sleep, or breathe to survive, im sure your brain would suffer long term from lack of enrichment at some point, but if you are truly immortal (like deadpool getting put back together when you 'die'), you'd exist until the heat death of the universe. i imagine that you'd fade into nothing upon said heat death and if the universe one day collapses on itself and is restarted, youd probably come back into existence.
i wrote a story my senior year of high school about this concept, that a human became truly immortal and was just living through the entire existence of his universe over and over, he spent so much time just trying to find sentient life forms, just for a glimpse at family, companionship, etc for the brief moment they exist before he's trapped in basically endless solitude for inconceivable amounts of time again. in my story he eventually was approached by another true immortal, one that was millions of universes older than him and had in all that time become closer to the universe and 'changed', becoming less an individual and more a small god? i didnt think of this back then but i really shouldve implied that the older immortal was really just the universe itself communicating to him, and it shouldve had a break at the end that showed that the human was ALSO just the universe itself, just a much younger and less connected consciousness within it.
oh did i mention that this story was a comedy and the punch line was that he ended up on a planet in his 8th universe that had a similar environment to earth, but it was flat, and he was inconsolably angry about flat earth happening?
#then i wrote a one act play about a girl hallucinating the myths of the stars while she died#there was gonna be a heartbeat that would literally go for the whole play#so you could hear her die#i had a racist english teacher but i was white so i just spited her with stories that were toeing the line of 'calling a counselor'#just to stress her out all year#mostly poc class so a lot of people wrote about their experiences with racism to make her uncomfy too#was the only trans person in class so i wrote about dysphoria as if it were an animal hunting me#she got REALLY good about my pronouns after that#i wrote a (frankly poorly done) psych eval for a character for a bigger project we did#she liked that one bc it was something she'd never seen someone do before#writing#immortality#only good thing that came out of that class was a love for eldritch horror
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no genuinely i fucking quit writing novels bc my english teacher always gave me a grade under everyone else bc the plotline was too complex or it was too much
my writing was decent AT LEAST like i poured my heart out into that shit and it was usually a form of allegory for something that i went through
shoutout to miss ayub /s
#the narrative i wrote for my gcses was about samael having a breakdown over its abuser#and gradually going from high and mighty and godlike to HIGHLY sensitive and small#and it uses the symbol of tearing down a statue to represent trying to get over how he feels#and it BANGED. i dont have it anymore but it was SO GOOD.#but yeah she literally tried to get me to cut out the most emotional part of the narrative bc it wasnt needed#and literally complained about me describing pointless things too much (i described the setting as being grey and boring to contrast.)#THERE WAS SOME RLLY GOOD FUCKING LINES IN THERE#the fact razor and sylvains relationship was a way for me to project me grooming trauma + a lot of the narrative focused on this#kiiiinda makes it worse. like my teachers knew i got groomed and it absofuckinglutely showed in my writing.#thank you for ruining my love of writing!!!#my english teacher whines abt ppl not looking deep enough into shit#and then when i use fairly obvious metaphors to represent that razor is a god + dictator it goes over her head#and then when the theming is generally about trauma she ignores it#'this is very political' i fucking know thats the point#I SHOWED IT TO MY *PHYSICS* TEACHER AND SHE FUCKING LOVED IT.#GOD BLESS MY PHYSICS TEACHER SHE POINTED OUT MY FAVE LINE AND WENT 'oh my god i love this bit'#MISS DUDLEY THE TEACHER EVER
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Plotting The Beginning
Writing Progress Log: 9/5/24
As of right now I’m trying to finalize the plot points for the first third of Book 1. My goal is to not overwhelm readers by writing info dumps, but that’s hard to do if the first 4 chapters are taking place years apart from one another!
My plan: just make each chapter Link’s day to day activities with some kind of change to routine. This way, I can grow the reader’s relationship with the other characters by having Link interacting with them, while also introducing the people he cares about the most.
#I was going to post part two of Link’s character analysis#but most of it is hard to understand because#I wrote it while waiting in lines at Halloween horror nights#XD#I wasn’t going to post these writing logs until later#but if you don’t mind a random one from time to time let me know#The Link Project#botw prequel#botw#TLP writing logs
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Last Line Challenge
Rules: Post the last sentence you wrote (fanfic / original / anything) and tag as many people as there are words in the sentence.
I was tagged by @katia-anyway! Thank you so much.���🤍
Until it snaps off.
Not tagging anyone because everyone I know's been tagged xD so if you want to this consider yourself tagged <3
#tagged#katia-anyway#actually not the last sentence i wrote but it's the last one that i can share xD#kinda wish this line was under NDA too but xD what can you do it's a sfw project#can't exctly go and describe how someone's jaw gets ripped off in detail 😔#katie does a write#katie pretends to fic
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Drunk Confessions
Summary: You got drunk during a night out with your best friend and accidentally send your Professor a photo of you in lingerie. Now you try to avoid him, which is not really working.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Category: Smut (18+ MDNI)
Warnings: alcohol consumption, dirty talk, dom!spencer, semi-public sex, hair pulling, thigh riding, spanking, fingering, praise kink, multiple orgasms, oral sex (kinda, he comes in her mouth)
Word Count: 4,6k
Author’s Note: My last posts got so many likes, I didn’t expect that at all, thank you sm!! <3
Your alarm goes off - 8:30am. You groan. Your head is pounding and the sun shining into your room is just way too bright. Your stomach turns and you close your eyes to escape the wave of nausea. You slowly sit up and search for your phone on the nightstand. It feels like your head is going to explode. You reach out and unlock the screen, turning your alarm off.
It's way too early. And you drunk way too much last night. It was a chaotic but nice yesterday, a night full of laughter, way too much alcohol and karaoke. Your best friend celebrated her birthday and you promised to go to your favorite bar with her. You have to smile when you think back to the night and start checking your messages. You see that she already texted you this morning to find out how you are doing.
How are you?
I have the worst headache after last night
It was fun though, wanna go again tonight?
Just kidding, I feel like I need a week to recover from this
You can’t help but laugh and answer her quickly. You are about to put your phone away to finally get ready when a new chat catches your eye. You freeze in shock. It’s your Professors name. The one you’ve been crushing on since you saw him for the very first time.
Back when you found out that you were getting a new professor, you didn't expect much, a lecture like any other with someone who was only concerned with reciting his material. But then he entered. He came through the door and for a moment it seemed as if time stood still. The room, which had just been immersed in the murmur of conversation, suddenly became silent.
He was tall - taller than you expected and his presence filled the room in a way that you couldn't put into words. He wore a simple but elegant suit that somehow effortlessly fit him perfectly. His hair was a little longer, curly and fell slightly over his forehead. And then he looked up. His big, brown eyes met yours and in a split second everything became clear to you. You immediately knew you wanted, needed, this man.
Now you stare at the chat in complete horror. He recently gave you his number for a project. That's how this whole texting thing could even happen. Your heart is pounding in your chest. Obviously you can't remember texting him. You were so drunk yesterday that you can't even remember how you got home.
You open the chat - and your heart stops for a moment. It wasn't just a message that you sent him. It was a photo. Of you, in lingerie. It’s one of your favorite sets, you got it a couple of weeks ago. "I wore this for you today, Professor. Do you like it?” You wrote in addition to the photo.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. You just stare at the screen, the picture of you that you should never, ever, ever have sent. And the worst part: He read it. But didn't reply. Confusion and panic spreads through you. You jump out of bed, your feet barely finding purchase on the floor, and your heart keeps racing. You try to think clearly, but your thoughts are a complete mess.
You reach for your phone again and frantically tap on the chat with your best friend, but you pause and call her instead. "Hello?" Her voice still sounds sleepy and hungover. “Oh my God, I need your help!" you gasp and immediately start telling her everything.
The line is silent, then you hear a short laugh. "Wait a minute... what? You did that?" You close your eyes and search for the right words. But before you can say anything, it hits you like a blow. You also have a lecture with him today.
"I’m not coming today," you tell her. “You can't just cancel!" she says immediately, and you hear her getting herself settled in her bed. Her voice sounds determined, but also worried. "You know how it is, our seminar today. We can't miss it. We said that celebrating wouldn't stop us," she says. "Celebrating isn't what would stop me either. Seeing him definitely is," you say and lean back with a groan.
You close your eyes and sink even deeper into the pillows. Your stomach clenches when you think about it. She’s right, You really have to go today. But the text, the picture that you sent him - what if he wants to talk to you about it? Or worse, he reports the whole thing?
"I can't just sit in front of him today and pretend that everything is normal. I sent him a picture of me in lingerie... I can't face him. It's just... it's just too much!" There is silence on the other end of the line for a moment. She still hasn't said anything, and you know she's thinking. Then you hear her take a deep breath.
“Okay, the thing with the picture, that's really... a little crazy. But hey, you can skip the lecture. Just disappear after the seminar and then hide in your apartment. Or you can go and hope that when you run into him, he'll do completely different things after you seeing this photo. I bet you looked hot, was it the new set you recently bought?” she asks and you can hear her grin even though you're on the phone.
Obviously she knows about your crush on your professor. You couldn’t stop talking about him after your first lecture and she took every opportunity to tease you about it. You look at your phone as if it were the only thing that could help you think clearly. Of course she's right. You have to go to your seminar. And you can really skip his lecture. Still, the idea that he might be thinking about it makes your heart beat faster and not just in excitement.
“You're right, I... okay, I'll come," You say after a short pause, but the thought of maybe running into him still makes you nervous. “You'll see, it won't be as bad as you think. You'll get through the seminar, it's only an hour. And then we'll be out and we can take our time for everything else. And you'll just avoid your favorite professor today," she continues to teases.
“Today? More like forever," you mutter and finally get up, even though the thought of getting out of bed still paralyzes you. “See you soon then. I'll shower and get dressed now, then I'll come. Let’s meet outside the building, okay?" you ask. "Sure!" she calls out happily. "See you soon and don’t forget to wear another fancy set for your professor today. Just in case you run into him,” she jokes.
After you hang up you put the phone on the pillow and stand there for a moment, your legs heavy, your head still about to explode. But then you take a deep breath. It'll be fine, you just have get through the seminar. With a sigh, you go into the bathroom and take painkillers first. Then you start getting ready.
You turn on the water and let it run hot. A short time later, you go into the shower. The hot steam envelops you and slowly your body feels a little alive again. The nausea subsides and the hangover becomes more bearable. After the shower, you get dressed in peace - black skirt, a comfy sweater and your favorite sneakers. You quickly walk through the apartment again to make sure you packed everything and when you leave the house, you somehow feel less like a wreck.
-
The smell of freshly served pasta is still in your nose as you say goodbye. You got lunch together after your seminar and it was nice to get a little break and talk about everything that happened. Now you are ready to leave but you still have to go to the library to get a book that you need for your upcoming assignment first.
“I still have to go to the library," you tell her, pulling your bag over your shoulder. “Are you coming with me?” you ask her. “I’m sorry, I have to pick up my sister now. But be careful, you don’t want to run into your favorite professor, or do you?” she teases again. “I’m not going to run into him. I’ll hurry up and leave immediately. I’ll call you later. See you tomorrow," you say and give her a quick wave before you set off.
-
The campus is full of students rushing through the halls, carrying their books around or sitting in groups and discussing. You slip into the library and head straight to the section where the book you need is. Unfortunately it’s at the top of the shelf and you realize that you probably won't be able to reach it. You jump up a few times, but the distance between you and the book just seems too big. You sigh. If only you were a little taller.
As you attempt the jump for the third time, you suddenly feel a presence building behind you. One that seems familiar. Your heart beats faster and a nervous tremor takes hold of you. You turn around and stare straight into Professor Reid's eyes. He is standing just inches away from you and you can hear the soft sound of his breathing.
The look he gives you is almost piercing - warm, but somehow also searching. He leans forward slightly without saying a word and effortlessly grabs the book with one hand. You avoid his gaze as he hands it to you. “Thank you," you murmur, trying to hide the slight nervous tremor in your voice. He nods and stands still for a moment.
"You weren't at my lecture today." You stare at the book in your hands and feel your stomach clench. This is not good. “I..." you take a deep breath. "I haven't been feeling so good. My head..." He waits, his eyes still fixed on you, and you get the feeling that he wants to hear more. You feel his gaze on you and when you finally raise your eyes to look into his eyes, there is a silent understanding, and for a moment you wonder if there’s more. “Sick, or...?" he asks calmly. You hesitate and bite your lip.
"I went out partying with my best friend yesterday, it was her birthday… we drank a little bit too much and... well, I'm not feeling so good today. That’s why I skipped." His expression remains neutral, but something in his gaze changes. You can hardly believe it, but it's almost as if he's interested. He frowns slightly. "I understand," he then says. "But it's not ideal to miss class, especially when important topics are involved."
You nod. “I know, Professor. I won’t happen again.” You just want to get out of this situation, and as you try to take a step back he stops you. "No, wait. I need to talk to you." You pause and turn back to him. "About what? I don’t really have the time -" you begin, pretending you don't have any idea what he wants to talk about, when he cuts you off.
"Doesn’t matter, it’s important. We'll sort it out in my office." His gaze is intense as he steps towards you. The thought of him asking you to come to his office makes your heart beat faster. The idea of being alone in a room with him is tempting. "Okay," you say quietly, unable to prevent a nervous tingling from spreading in your chest. You follow him, even though your legs feel like they're made of jelly.
He leads the way, his steps calm and determined, and you can barely keep your eyes from lingering on his back. As soon as you reach the door to his office, he opens it and lets you enter first. You step in, your heart now beating loudly in your ears. The moment he closes the door behind you, you realize that it is more than just a conversation about the seminar.
The look he is giving you now is not the look of a professor. It is the look of a man who wants more than just academic discussions at this moment. And the thought that you’re alone with him in this room inevitably leaves you nervous and intrigued at the same time.
As the door closes behind you, you’re left breathless for a moment. His office is quiet, almost too quiet, compared to the crowded hallways outside. The room is sparsely decorated, except for the desk covered with stacks of paper and a few personal items. He is still standing at the table, his arms loosely folded in front of his chest and looks at you.
"Sit down," he says calmly, pointing to the chair on the opposite of the desk. You hesitate, then finally sit down, your heart pounding in your chest. The nervous energy inside you grows as you try to organize your thoughts. Before he can say anything else, you can’t hold it back any longer. The words come out of you hastily, almost in a rush, and you feel your body tense.
"The picture, it was a mistake! I didn't mean to... It wasn't meant for you. I was drunk, and it was stupid of me, really. I'm sorry." You look at the table, avoiding his gaze. But as you say the last words, you immediately notice how the atmosphere in the room changes. He remains silent for a moment, but then his body language shifts slightly - his gaze becomes more intense, the tension between you almost tangible.
"Hmm," he says after a pause, his voice deep and calm, "so the picture wasn't meant for me?" You flinch when you hear his question. What exactly does he want to hear? What does he want to know from you? You try to stay calm and answer hesitantly.
"It... it's none of your business." His expression hardens instantly. "It is," he says, and his voice sounds sharper, more determined now. "Because you sent it to me." Your heart beats faster as he continues. "I don't think it was an accident, even if you were drunk. You wanted to send it to me. And you did."
A cold shiver runs down your spine. You open your mouth, trying to say something, but you can't find a way to defend yourself. Instead, you just stay still, looking at your hands, which are resting nervously on your lap.
He laughs quietly, a mocking, almost challenging laugh. "So you're really sure it was an accident, huh?" He slowly leans forward, rests his hands on the table and looks straight into your eyes. The look in his eyes has changed, and something in his expression shows you that he is the one in control.
"Do you really think I haven't noticed how you look at me in class? How you keep watching my hands? How you press your thighs together when I approach you?" His words hit you and you freeze for a moment. Your cheeks burn hot, you feel your heart pounding uncontrollably, but you keep quiet. Everything inside you screams to defend yourself, but you stay silent because you know he’s right.
"I noticed from the beginning, angel," he continues, and a shiver runs down your spine. You can’t believe he just called you that. It turns you on immensely. "I know you didn't just do it because of the party and the alcohol. You also sent it to me because you wanted to." He leans further forward, his presence overwhelming, and you can't help but feel small even as you try to assert yourself.
You open your mouth to say something, but the words stick in your throat. What could you say? That he's wrong? That would be a lie. “You sent it to me," he repeats, his voice now almost like a command. "Because you wanted to show me. And I don't think it was an accident. You were drunk, yes, but you wanted me to see you like this."
Your body is paralyzed. It feels like the room has suddenly become smaller. You can hardly breathe. His words and his look have completely captured you in that moment. “I... uh," you begin, but the thought that he is in control, that he sees you like this at this moment, leaves you speechless and you’re unable form a proper sentence.
He remains silent, only his eyes continue to focus on you. "You have to understand that you can't just play with me like that." His gaze becomes more intense, and for a moment it seems as if he wants to say more but then he slowly stands up, walks around the table and stops right in front of you.
"I'll show you something," he says in a calm but unmistakable voice. "And you will understand why it wasn't just an accident." Your heart beats faster. His hand reaches for your chin, lifting it up and tracing his thumb over your bottom lip. Your breath hitches and you lean closer, craving his touch. “Get up and lock the door for me,” he says and pulls his hand away slowly.
You do as your told immediately and when you turn around, he is sitting on his chair with his legs spread. He looks so hot and you desperately clench your thighs together to relief the pressure between your legs. “Good girl. Come here,” he says and pats his thigh. You shiver in excitement and when he notices a grin spreads across his face.
You go over to him and when you stand in front of him, he pulls you down into his lap. He leans forward to whisper into your ear “That’s what you wanted, right? To be my good girl. That’s why you send me that picture. You wanted to end up here,” he says and places his hands on your hips. You press yourself closer against him and inhale his scent, he smells like cinnamon, peppermint and aftershave, it’s addictive.
However, you get interrupt by his hand reaching into your hair to pull your head back. You gasp in surprise and he leans closer to you, looking deep into your eyes again. “I asked you a question. I expect an answer,” he says and you can feel yourself getting even wetter. “Yes, that’s true. I - I always wanted that,” you manage to say and he releases your hair, satisfied with your response.
Then he leans forward and you finally feel his lips against yours. It’s even better than you always imagined and you start to grind against his leg, desperate to release the friction between your legs. But Spencer quickly stops you. “Did I allow you to move?” he asks and you shake your head.
He sighs in disappointment but before he can say anything you quickly answer him. “No, you didn’t,” you say and his grip on your hips looses a little. “That’s right. I didn’t. And you’re not allowed to move until I tell you to. You’re going to listen to me and do exactly what your told, do you understand?” he asks. “I understand.”
“See, it’s not that hard. You listen to me, you behave and you’ll get your reward. Now, do you want to ride my thigh?” he asks, his hand slowly sliding behind your back to your ass, squeezing it. “Yes, please. Can I?” you ask and he leans forward to kiss you again, his tongue exploring your mouth. When he pulls back you can see his eyes sparkling with lust. “So polite, I like that. Yes, you can,” he says and you finally go back to moving against his thigh.
It feels good, so good and when Spencer starts to slide one hand under your shirt to grab your breasts you press closer against him. You can feel that you soaked your underwear trough and wearing only a skirt, you can already see a small wet stain on his pants. His gaze follows yours and he chuckles. “Someone’s needy,” he says and you nod, leaning against his chest, grinding down more against him.
“Spen - Spencer, I’m going to come,” you whimper but he pulls you back by your hair again. “It’s Sir for you, angel,” he says and you correct yourself immediately. “Please Sir, can I come on your thigh now?” you breath out and he grabs your hips again, stopping you.
“No, not yet,” he simply says and you whine when he stands up and you lose contact. “But I thought - “ you start but he doesn’t let you finish. He turns you around and pushes you down onto his desk. “Doesn’t matter what you thought. I decided I’m not letting you come yet,” he says and flips over your skirt to expose your underwear to him.
“I see, another pair then the ones you wore yesterday. I’ve got to admit, I prefer the other ones, but you look pretty anyway, angel,” he says, sliding his hands over your thighs and your ass. “Last night when you send me that picture, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he admits and you can feel your whole body reacting to his words.
A wave of confidence flashes through you. “Did I keep you up last night, Sir? Did you have to stroke your cock while you looked at my picture? Thinking about all the ways you want to fuck me?” you ask him and turn your head slightly back to look at him with a smirk on your face. His eyes darken and he tightens his grip.
“Oh you have no idea, angel. I’m going to show you exactly what I was thinking about last night,” And suddenly you feel a harsh smack on your ass. He just spanked you. And you liked it. Your breath hitches and you bit down on your lip to keep quiet. You don’t want anyone to find out what’s going on in here.
His hand strokes the spot he just hit before going further down to pull at your panties. He takes them off and stuffs them into his pocket. You are convinced you’re not going to get them back. Then you feel his long, slender fingers sliding between your legs before he presses onto your clit. You gasp in surprise and try to press against him but his grip on your hips is firm, holding you still.
Then he pushes two fingers inside you. “So fucking wet.” His eyes wander over your body down to your legs hungrily, appreciating every curve and every spot. “I’ve never seen such a pretty pussy. And it’s all mine now. You’re all mine now,” he says. The way his fingers move and the way he stares at you intensely feels just way too good.
When his thumb goes back to your clit, rubbing it in slow circles, you can feel how your orgasm builds up inside of you and you can no longer hold back your moans. “Spencer - Sir, feels so good. Please,… I need more,” You clench around his fingers and he quickly puts a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. “Shh, be quiet, angel. As much as I would love to hear all these lovely sounds you make, I don’t want to get interrupted. Not now, when I finally have you, after all this time.”
His fingers curl inside you and keep hitting your g -spot. You clench around them, he notices and chuckles. “Can I - please,” you stutter. “Yes angel,” he says, already knowing what you’re asking for and you come around his fingers. You never had such an intense orgasm from foreplay before, but you don’t mind. It’s even better than you always imagined.
He wants to give you a moment to recover but you want more. You somehow manage to turn around, even though your legs feel like they are going to give in any second and push yourself up on his desk. He looks surprised and opens his mouth to say something but you interrupt him by pulling him closer by his tie.
You wrap your hands around his neck and rank your fingers through his soft, brown hair before kissing him. You moan into his mouth and he groans, sending a shiver down your spine. “Thank you, Sir. That was amazing,” you say with a smirk on your face when you pull back. “Now is the time to lose your pants and relax, I want to return the favor.”
“As much as I want to see you down on your knees with your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, we don’t have much time left. Office hour starts in less than 30 minutes. And I need to fuck you. So drop it and spread your legs for me. Now,” he demands and you obliged, sitting further back on his desk with your legs spread.
He takes a step back and starts to unzip his dress pants. When he takes out his cock your eyes widen. He is even bigger than you expected. “Are you on the pill?” he asks while he starts to pump his cock. “I am,” you say. “Good. I want to fuck your pussy and then, since you suggested sucking me off, come inside your mouth. I want you to taste me. You don’t swallow until I say so. Do you understand?” he asks, sliding his cock through your folds to tease you. “Yes Sir, I understand,” you whimper and he wastes no time and pushes inside you.
His first thrust already make your eyes roll back and you feel like you’re going to die from the intense pleasure. Your legs wrap around his waits and your hands are on his back, pressing him even more against your body. Everytime a whimper or a moan escapes your mouth his thrust become deeper, rougher and faster. You can feel him throb inside you and he keeps hitting your g- spot over and over again.
One of his hand is sneaking through your breast, squeezing it and toying with your nipple. You graze his back with your fingernails and make sure to leave marks on him. Your mind goes blank and you lose yourself in the pleasure completely. After a few more thrust you can feel the orgasm building up inside of you. “Close,” you breath out and he nods. “Me too. You can come on my cock now.”
You let go and your orgasm is even more intense than you expected. You moan his name so loud that he quickly covers your mouth with his hand again. He picks up his speed and a few thrusts later he pulls out of you to shove his cock into your mouth. You can feel his cum inside your mouth and taste him, just like he told you to. He watches you closely the whole time while he recovers from his own orgasm.
“Now swallow,” he says and you do. Then he pulls you forward with both of his hands to kiss you. The kiss is different this time, more gentle and caring, not just full of lust. When he pulls back you both smile. “I guess sending you this picture was not bad at all. And I was so worried.” He laughs. “I’m glad you send it, angel. Now I finally have you all to myself. It's a shame I couldn't take more time for you right now. There's a lot more I'd like to do with you,” he says with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t you show me after your office hours, Sir?” you say with a smirk on your face. “Make sure to be here on time, angel.”
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#professor reid#professor x student
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Steve was always being brushed off when he asked people to read things aloud for him,
In middle school his assigned partner for their ‘Frankenstein’ project gave him a scornful glare and ignored him when he had asked them to read the passages aloud.
In his sophomore year, he’d turned to ask Robin Buckley to read a old newspaper article about the ‘Wild West’ to him, because he couldn’t make it out through the fonts and weird words. She had fixed him with a cold look but before she could respond, Tammy was tapping his shoulder offering her help.
Then, while studying with Nancy and Barb at lunch, Steve had asked for help reading study cards. His own study cards. The paper was too bright and the squiggles too squiggly. Both of them had looked at him, them each other, clearly trying to decide if it was a joke.
Barb had scoffed under Nancys pointed look and gone back to her own notes. And while Nancy hadn’t read them out for him, she had handed him her own notes on some nice blue and yellow cards. It took him a while, but he could read them. Maybe she thought he hadn’t wrote any.
After that, he went a long time without asking anyone to read him things. Turns out that once you graduate, reading isn’t much of an issue. He’d gotten by just fine by looking at his Archie comics and ignoring the swirling lines of articles surrounding them.
He didn’t need to ask again until Scoops Ahoy. For a cheap, overly themed ice cream parlour there sure was a whole lot of memorising and reading to be done. He couldn’t see the charts properly, couldn’t really make out the dates on the tubs in the freezer. But every time he asked Robin for help, her frown would deepen and deepen until she just snapped. It hadn’t been that mean, really. Just an annoyed yell followed by accusations of being lazy, her not understanding how he managed to graduate, one last comment of him being a ‘bumbling idiot’.
After the Russians, she never said anything like that to him again. And she always did the inventory and lists for him.
It takes until summer, 1987, for anyone to read aloud to Steve. They were laying across Eddie’s new bed in comfortable silence.
Steve had his legs dangling off the edges as Eddie leant back against him, legs pointing up against the wall in a way he swore was actually comfortable. He had been reading a new book called “Spellfire” and he couldn’t seem to put it down.
“Eddie?”
“Hm?”
“What’s your book about?”
“This? Well I…Not sure it’s really your thing, man.”
“Maybe.” He goes back to reading. “I could see if it’s my thing?”
Eddie twists his head sideways to look up at Steve with a slightly confused face. “You wanna borrow it?”
“Was thinking you could read it.” He fiddled with the pocket of his jeans in a hopefully casual and not freaking out way. He didn’t look at Eddie as he waited, but after a few moments he responded.
“Sure. That’s fine, yeah. Want me to start over or go from here?”
“From there is good.”
And it was good, it was really really good. Steve hadn’t been able to read a book since middle school, hadn’t really tried again after that. But as he lay back and let Eddie’s voice wash over him he couldn’t help feeling that he’d been missing out.
Sure, it actually wasn’t really his thing, but the way Eddie read aloud painted such a clear picture that Steve enjoyed it anyway. The other would change his voice slightly for different characters and added emotions into his speaking. If it was a tense moment, he’d go slow and add gaps in just the right places. If it was fast paced he’d speed up and get more and more manic until the action cut off. He felt like he was reading along. Felt like he could see the pages in the book, but also the characters and the dungeon they were combining through.
So, for the first time Steve hadn’t been brushed off. He had probably found the only person he knew who could turn reading a book into a performance. One he would happily be seated for every night.
From then on, new books turned up at the trailer every week, Steve not far behind.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#robin buckley#stobin#dyslexia#dyslexic steve harrington#fic#mini fic#writing#hcs#my writing
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on ao3's current fundraiser
apparently it’s time for ao3’s biannual donation drive, which means it’s time for me to remind you all, that regardless of how much you love ao3, you shouldn’t donate to them because they HAVE TOO MUCH MONEY AND NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
we’ve known for years that ao3 – or, more specifically, the organization for transformative works (@transformativeworks on tumblr), or otw, who runs ao3 and other fandom projects – has a lot of money in their “reserves” that they had no plans for. but in 2023, @manogirl and i did some research on this, and now, after looking at their more recent financial statements, i’ve determined that at the beginning of 2024, they had almost $2.8 MILLION US DOLLARS IN SURPLUS.
our full post last year goes over the principles of how we determined this, even though the numbers are for 2023, but the key points still stand (with the updated numbers):
when we say “surplus”, we are not including money that they estimate they need to spend in 2024 for their regular expenses. just the extra that they have no plan for
yes, nonprofits do need to keep some money in reserves for emergencies; typically, nonprofits registered in the u.s. tend to keep enough to cover between six months and two years of their regular operating expenses (meaning, the rough amount they need each month to keep their services going). $2.8 million USD is enough to keep otw running for almost FIVE YEARS WITHOUT NEW DONATIONS
they always overshoot their fundraisers: as i’m posting this, they’ve already raised $104,751.62 USD from their current donation drive, which is over double what they’ve asked for! on day two of the fundraiser!!
no, we are not trying to claim they are embezzling this money or that it is a scam. we believe they are just super incompetent with their money. case in point: that surplus that they have? only earned them $146 USD in interest in 2022, because only about $10,000 USD of their money invested in an interest-bearing account. that’s the interest they earn off of MILLIONS. at the very least they should be using this extra money to generate new revenue – which would also help with their long-term financial security – but they can’t even do that
no, they do not need this money to use if they are sued. you can read more about this in the full post, but essentially, they get most of their legal services donated, and they have not, themselves, said this money is for that purpose
i'm not going to go through my process for determining the updated 2024 numbers because i want to get this post out quickly, and otw actually had not updated the sources i needed to get these numbers until the last couple days (seriously, i've been checking), but you can easily recreate the process that @manogirl and i outlined last year with these documents:
otw’s 2022 audited financial statement, to determine how much money they had at the end of 2022
otw’s 2024 budget spreadsheet, to determine their net income in 2023 and how much they transferred to and from reserves at the beginning of 2024
otw’s 2022 form 990 (also available on propublica), which is a tax document, and shows how much interest they earned in 2022 (search “interest” and you’ll find it in several places)
also, otw has not been accountable to answering questions about their surplus. typically, they hold a public meeting with their finance committee every year in september or october so people can ask questions directly to their treasurer and other committee members; as you can imagine, after doing this deep dive last summer, i was looking forward to getting some answers at that meeting!
but they cancelled that meeting in 2023, and instead asked people to write to the finance committee through their contact us form online. fun fact: i wrote a one-line message to the finance committee on may 11, 2023 through that form, when @manogirl and i were doing this research, asking them for clarification on how much they have in their reserves. i have still not received a response.
so yeah. please spend your money on people who actually need it, like on mutual aid requests! anyone who wants to share their mutual aid requests, please do so in the replies and i’ll share them out – i didn’t want to link directly to individual requests without permission in case this leads to anyone getting harassed, but i would love to share your requests. to start with, here's operation olive branch and their ongoing spreadsheet sharing palestinian folks who need money to escape genocide.
oh, and if you want to write to otw and tell them why you are not donating, i'm not sure it’ll get any results, but it can’t hurt lol. here's their contact us form – just don’t expect a response! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#ao3#otw#archive of our own#organization for transformative works#ao3 is not your savior#and they don't need your money#otw finances
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YOU MAKE ME GO CRAZY OVER YOU !!
୨୧ -› hey, that boy over there..isn't he the most popular student athlete on campus? how did you two meet, anyway?
pair -› jock/athlete! enhypen x fem! reader | wc -› 3.5k (700 per member) | no warnings! | library
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ LEE HEESEUNG
im gonna sigh dreamily when i say he’s most DEF basketball captain.
yes ik i wrote about this in wrong number i dont CARE i will say it with my whole chest
DORK DORK DORK but cute dork with lethal face card. smirks after making yet another basket and winks at you
age old question how tf did yall meet!!!
you pass by the gym and some guy on the way stops to talk to you
like “hey i know you from somewhere”
“yes heeseung we were partners from a project two weeks ago how do you not remember..”
he’s embarrassed asf especially because he remembers a lot of people’s names
after that he wants to be in your good graces and be friends
totally not because he remembered how you did a lot of the work for said project no complaints!!
and he doesn’t want you to rat him out to the teacher… or tell other people he’s not friendly
‘hey y/n, come to my game? i’ll do better if you’re there :)”
you go only because you needed to complete an assignment while you were there at school anyways
but sometimes you’d see him laughing with his friends, or how serious he is on court and woah, heeseung looks cool for once
you wait for him after because you figured he needed you for something
“awh, you wanted for me?” “i could be doing much better things.” “awh, come on y/n let’s get some ice cream! my treat since we get to spend time together”
he’s annoying but you let him tag around because he doesn’t bother you LOL
more under the cut!
drags you along when he practices alone so he can have some company
you like the company and the white noise too
you definitely doubt if he likes you because he is SUCH A FLIRT but no he DOES! he writes a confession on a basketball and ‘misses’ so you can catch it
you pass it back without seeing the message
but heeseung keeps missing and it almost hits you on the head and you’re like ‘dude you SUCK hello??” he says ‘oh lol maybe it’s the ball” byee why was he smooth with it!!!!
you check the message and roll your eyes
“if i make this you have to kiss me” you tell him and you’re about to shoot but he picks you up and brings you right next o the next to let you throw it in and then kisses u!!!!
not to be like oh im writing an smau on basketball captain heeseung but.. *tucks hair behind ear*
most definitely tries to be mysterious and cool when you’re dating
dribbles in front of you, trick shots, runs up to you when you’re alone, gives you one kiss between ever basket he makes
teaches you how to play!!!!
ABSOLUTELY lights up when someones mentions you when you two date
“oh yeah my partner in math is ___”
“omg ___?? the love of my life ___??”
you lowk have to drag him away i fear
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ PARK JONGSEONG
baseball captain *faints*
enhypen x mariners and him speaking in english…so you want me DECEASED
baseball captain jay and you who attends his games because jake aka ur friend on the team knows you have nothing better to do
“i bet you won’t make it even to five games before buying cotton candy” jake says because you have a MASSIVE sweet tooth
you tried really hard because $15 and a burger was on the line
and you kept coming because…well there was a cute captain who always knew how to rally his teammates and get them excited
also great sportsmanship and was super friendly to everyone!
definitely got mad when the umpire makes a wrong call
sharp reaction times. EVEN SHARPER JAW.
of course you stared! of course you were not paying attention to whatever jake was saying about his test after their game..how could you when jay was doing his lopsided smile as his friend pats him on the shoulder from ten feet away??
one time you come early because they’re practicing on the field and you see jay and jake passing to each other
jay just so effortlessly throwing the ball…oh my god
he’s just so perfect and jake cheers from the sidelines because he knows his captain pays attention to every single person who has stepped foot on the baseball field iNCLUDING YOU
you come up to jake after the fourth game, showing him you still had your $5 and your tongue wasn’t stained with any blue or pink
jay comes over, arm thrown around jake’s shoulder as he waves and smiles to you
dark hair with a twinge of sweat as he runs a hand through it, pulling it back to place on his cap
JAY IN A BASEBALL CAP *faints again*
he walks you out to the parking lot and asks what the $5 in your pocket is for because he keeps seeing you pull it out
you explain your whole bet to him and he nods
next game. before it starts. he gets you cotton candy and makes sure it gets to you somehow
you smile and you’re all giddy when you eat it because there’s a p.j. on the cap and he’s just so cute
jake doesn’t say anything he already knows it’s happening between you two.
jay finally writes on a baseball and tells you to catch, and it says ‘let’s date’ and you grab a sharpie and scribble ‘kiss me first’
OH YEAH HE WALKS OVER AND KISSES YOU.
soon every game instead of cotton candy it’s his baseball cap when it’s sunny, his jacket when you’re cold, baseballs with notes on them, and roses for his girlfriend aka youuuuu
jay is such a romantic and he is not afraid to show it
he orders custom jerseys that say jay/n on the back with the day you got together!!!!!
BEST BOYFRIEND EVERRRRRR
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ SIM JAEYUN
rugby player jake but he has dark long hair let that settle in
campus flirt campus playboy but in reality he doesn’t go on dates and nothing really happens past the smiles, he’s just super popular
you are also pretty well known! a little flirty but super sweet and your charm and how expressive and open you are with other people is what people like!
and he sees you cheering with your friend who he remembers is dating someone from the team
rugby has no gear so he just runs like no tomorrow
smiling in the sun or determined stare as he talks to his team, you never know
he yells either in frustration, victory, or defeat, literally will never be silent
so after a game you follow your friend down to the railing and she has her little moments with her boyfriend
and you and jake kind of awkwardly stand there for a moment
he wipes his sweat off with a towel and smiles at you, cracking the ice
“how long have you had to deal with that?” he points over to them
you shrug and tell him “however long you’ve been dealing with it” he laughs
oh wow his smile when he’s right in front of you is just so pretty
and his little chuckle as he shakes his head and looks back up at you
‘who do you watch on the field?’ he asks, with a little smirk because he likes you
‘whoever catches my attention’ you tell him also smiling
oh its a CHALLENGE. he will make sure to run on the side of the field you’re watching from, winking at you on the field, ugh just everything
you come to a party at the end of the season to celebrate and he sees you
“you came!!” super happy and makes sure you are next to him all the time
“y/n you know the teammates, yeah?” you smile and congratulate them
he leaves to get you a soda/water and jungwon leans in
“jake LOVES to talk about you by the way”
“yeah he always says how pretty you are in the library or in class, he likes when your friend comes because that means you come with her”
heeseung nods, “super into you, no joke”
jake comes back trying to play it off “who’s into y/n?”
you poke at his shoulder and smile, “you” and he’s all bashful and giggly
loves to call himself ‘y/n’s girlfriend’
‘sorry, i can’t i have to buy flowers for y/n’ ‘sorry y/n needs me to help her study’ ‘sorry y/n needs a ride here’ STUCK TO YOUR HIP
ofc he doesn’t abandon his friends but he loves spending time with you :3
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ PARK SUNGHOON
sunghoon’s reputation proceeds him—cold on the court and just as reserved off of it
ugh he’s so annoying, he always has his bag in the same spot as yours and he always is at the water filling station with hos annoying 32oz bottle before you
also hogs that automatic tennis ball throwing machine like how are YOU supposed to practice tennis too
‘hey i need that’ he furrows his eyebrows and shrugs
‘i was here first’ ‘what are you twelve????’ sunghoon tells you ‘get here earlier next time then
oh yeah. for the next week you ran to the courts everytime to get it before him
one day he sees you and races you to the gates and you beat him
sulky after as if his career is over
definitely varsity and one of the best, but he never approaches girls after his games
one time you go to a men’s game because it’s one of the most anticipated of the season
its neck to neck, third set with 40-adv, sunghoon’s serve
he chases after that ball and sends it over, it barely hits the net and tumbles over, AND HE WINSSSS BRAHHHHH
even if you hate him you will admit that he made the game extremely interesting
you see his friends congratulate him and you notice that he never gets his clothes dirty
always wears white to practice—pristine asf
secretly he loves watching you too
even if you hate him for getting on your nerves some days and almost never doing more than bare minimum, you cannot lie and say sunghoon isn’t a huge inspiration
just as you are to him
sunghoon thinks your tenacity and passion for tennis is what makes you so fun to watch
so even if he has homework, he goes to a game of yours and comes down to the court after the game
bumps your shoulder after, ‘good game, y/n’ and you’re like ?? ‘you’re here?’ and he’s sooo nonchalant when he says ‘of course, i can’t miss a fun game can i?’
there’s a fun mixed doubles tournament for a whole gift basket of things and you come up to him
‘hey let’s pair up’ and he grins
you two play each other for practice and you’ve tied the score so many times you’ve lost count
and sunghoon’s a little annoying but oh lord he’s so attrative??? so maybe he wasn’t THAT annoying…
mixed doubles tourney rolls around and oh yeah. you two win.
you know much he likes natto and you say ‘here you take the natto’ he shakes his head ‘no you eat it all the time’
you two bicker and you say ‘fine lets just share it!’ and to your surprise..he opens the package and just mixes it all in
you two sit and share the natto, then he tells you he thinks you’re pretty cool on court
you raise your eyebrow cuz where is this coming from!! and he rolls his eyes
‘nevermind maybe you’re only bright on the court’
‘hey what’s that supposed to mean!!!’ you take the natto and eat all of it LMFAO and then he pouts because noo his natto!!!
you kiss his cheek. it’s ok everything is ok now he is a happy boy
“you’re my match” you write on a tennis ball pin and he keeps it on his bag like his life DEPENDS on it
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ KIM SUNOO
THE CUTEST VOLLEYBALL SETTER EVER
i hate to be like oh you’ve had the fattest crush on him for like two months BUT ITS TRUE
you’re on yearbook and you make an excuse to go see sunoo play!!
you two met when you were at a volleyball game and you told him to smile, but he’s one of those guys who says “wait delete that take another one!!”
and ofc you agree, snapping a few cute photos of him
he posts to his social media, tagging you with a cute song saying ‘thanks photographer :3”
and so you it begins, your small little crush on him..
he loves seeing you at his games, always makes sure to wave to you on the court
hey so setter sunoo is insanely good at what he does
so graceful when he places a NASTY setter dump on the other team, a glare shot at one of the other team’s members bad-mouthing him, but a glowing smile as he high-fives all his teammates!
super supportive, and you loveee that about him!! he cares so much about everyone it makes your heart warm
“here, let’s eat together,” you tell him, and you bring him some noodles you made because he said he was craving some
he smiles at you and sits down, beginning to slurp slurp slurp and SCOREEE he loves it
“thanks y/n, let me treat you some time :)” UGH DEAD DEAD
KIM SUNOO KING OF FLOAT SERVES
huge smile on his face when it lands where it needs to, he loves that feeling of satisfaction and soaks up all of your praise after his games are over
he slips out of practice sometimes to see what you’re doing in yearbook, and he’ll take your camera to tell you to smile as he takes pics
someone in your class tells you too to look overfor a photo , so he loops an arm around your shoulders to pull you close and smile
AND OH EM GEE UR LIKE TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER IT HELLO??????/
you ask her to print you a copy of it to save in your scrapbook, but sunoo cuts in and asks for another one
“i like seeing you” DEAD IN A DITCH esp when he smiles at you and then runs off to practice before he gets in trouble
so competitive on the court and it makes him a little sulky when he loses
“argh i did so bad today” he’d tell you, but in your eyes hello kim sunoo could do no wrong!! and you share your snacks while reassuring him
he swears tho, “nooo, i had to look cool for you!” and you’re tired of hearing him say and do all of these sweet things and straight up
“why?” “what do you mean, y/n?” “why do you want to look cool for me?” “well i liked you duh!”
but sunoo never wanted to confess, he was too scared he wasn’t good yet at showing you all of his perfect bf traits
WELL HE THOUGHT WRONG!! he’s been perfect from d1 so now he just sneaks in like 40 kisses before every game
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ YANG JUNGWON
see so jungwon, he’s been a little FLIRTY as of recently.
“you like older guys? but im a younger guy with rhythm” WHAT THE FKSCNHDJFD
whatever. anyways jungwon focuses on badminton like it’s a lifeline
hitting birdies in his sleep would be smth he would do if he could, he loves how aggressive he can be in the sport without moving too much, lots of strategy involved
you come to one of his games because your friend is on the other team, and you want to cheer him on
but jungwon notices you’re literally from his school??
isn’t it weird you’re going to a game for someone on the other team…
so he sets off a plan
he goes to you after the game before your friend can
“hey, how come you don’t support anyone on our team” so straight to the point help
and you tilt your head in confusion because “well i don’t know anyone from the team and you’re all scary”
scary??? jungwon makes it his personal mission to debunk that cuz no one is SCARY
maybe sunghoon but that’s because he’s varsity 1 and the best player within 150 miles but whatever
he makes it his mission to wave to you when he sees you and when he’s sat next to you in one of your classes he’s like yay perf
“you’re the guy from that badminton game huh?” “is that a good or bad thing”
you shrug “whatever you want it to be”
and he asks you to go to his next game but if he wins, you have to support the team and if he loses
and you stare at him like “wtf do i get out of it”
jungwon did NOT think about that
he promises to buy you a snack after
and it’s free food so you can’t complain
you two talk more and he finds out you used to play badminton before you hurt your ankle and wanted to focus on school
so he takes you to practice and gives you one of his expensive rackets
lowk falling in love everytime you laugh and chase the birdie
jungwon pretends to hate chasing after it but he’ll still hit it back even if it’s out of bounds because he doesn’t want to waste your time picking it up
you two sit down and you tell him how fun it was to be able to play, and how much you missed it from your childhood
your school holds a small festival where other school athletes go against your team modified lighting rounds
paired with vendors and fun carnival stands, but the main attractions are always the variety of sports to watch
jungwon is one of the representatives from your school but so is your friend from the other school, so it’s heated when they play
you tie a ribbon around his racket (curtesy of sunghoon for helping you out) and write a note saying “if you do good ill cheer for you”
AND HE WINS. so you keep your end of the bargain and cheer for him after the game is over, giving him a high five and a hug
he walks with you and asks about what you two are BECAUSE THIS IS A DATE this is date behavior
“of course i like you won who wouldn’t”
let’s just say he gives u little kisses all over when you two are alone sigh so cute
˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆ NISHIMURA RIKI
he’s been on the soccer team ever since he was a freshman and even before, retaining his cute features and mischievous personality
when you became assistant manager you were scared but your brother heeseung was on the team and your mom told you to look after him at school
and riki takes after heeseung a LOT when they play and heeseung even goes as far as inviting riki over
so riki’s super good at soccer by the time heeseung leaves, but he also has this small crush on you that heeseung’s told you about
you just never said anything because you never had a reason to nor were you uncomfortable with it
but junior year hits and riki comes back from winter break with pitch black hair all styled
also…a lot taller than you. and no more baby fat
and you paid attention to some of it because you saw him for practice, but the hair really did it
during practice he loves to mess with you saying things like “can you fill up my water y/n pleaseeee” “no you have two feet” “ill win the next game against ____ if you get me water” “i’ll kick you off the team if you don’t win”
he sighs and gets up, glaring down at you and you try not to let his playful stare affect you, but SOMETHING was different something was in the air
if riki doesn’t play good, it’s because his team manager aka you is NOT there
you come back the next day to find out he was sulking and didn’t play super well because you weren’t encouraging him
“go run a lap, riki” and HE DOES JUST THAT “go practice on the field by yourself”
“how about you ask me to date you next” he grumbles
and you HEAR him. loud and clear.
but you’re like agh what if he doesn’t mean it what if he’s just joking
at the next game he does super well and you congratulate the whole team
yas team hybe eats
you two are getting ready to go home when he finally brings it up
“you heard what i said on tuesday” and you know exactly what he means
“yep.” “so why didn’t you say anything back” “i didn’t know if you were being serious”
he scoffs “y/n when have i ever not been serious about you”
he opens your door even if he’s passenger princess
makes fun of you for how much closer you need the wheel to be to drive
YAYYYY Y/NKI IS REAL
he loves to drape an arm around your shoulder walking around school
acts as if he’s older when you two are literally the same age HELP
reblogs/interactions are appreciated always!
have some shameless self promo for my spiderman!riki fic!
and my upcoming jake fic!
#k-labels#k-films#enhypen#enhypen x reader#heeseung x reader#jungwon x reader#jay x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#niki x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enha imagines#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha#heeseung imagines#heeseung fluff#riki x reader#jake enhypen#enhypen headcannons#enhypen imagines#lee heeseung x reader#yang jungwon x reader#park jongseong x reader#jaeyun x reader#park sunghoon x reader#nishimura riki x reader
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