#the life of matt
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snaileer · 2 months ago
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I’m a Size Medium, Thanks.
Danny is irritated. No actually he is beyond irritated. He is annoyed, he is frustrated, he is…. He’s really fricking irritated and can’t be bothered to remember any more of Jazz’s SAT words.
He continues his glare out the window as he searches for his straw with his mouth.
He just- where is it- thinks it’s a stupid fricking-stupid ass milkshake-he shouldn’t have to basically-gah! Danny snaps his head down to find his suddenly missing straw, only to successfully poke it directly into his eye.
“Ow! Fricken-“ He groans, throwing his head back, and putting his hands to his face, “Mother-tucker, Holy Taming of A Shrew!” He pounds his free hand not cradling his eye on the table, trying not to make more of a scene. Of course, this utterly fails because it immediately tips over his milkshake glass with a clatter as it spills onto his pants, making him jump up with enough force to knock the table over and drop the milkshake glass the rest of the way to the floor.
Danny stares at it with blurry vision and a watery eye. He sighs, “At least-“
The glass shatters.
Danny sighs again, deeper. “Of course.”
He looks up at the restaurant around him. Noticing the many, many people staring at him.
Wonderful.
Danny grimaces, “Sorry, I so didn’t mean for that to happen, uh-“ Danny reaches to straighten the table, fumbling for a second before it stands upright, he steps away from it, “If there’s any way I can help or.. like fix it. I can pay for the cup..” a server comes over to him, “if you want..?”
The server’s dead eyes don’t waver as they silently place a wet floor sign over the spilled milkshake.
“Thanks.”
“Uh huh.”
The server walks away, leaving Danny to sigh all on his own. He leans over to grab his backpack from the booth, checking it over for milkshake before slinging it on his back, thankfully clean.
He makes it one step forward before he feels the floor go out from under him. Ah gravity. His greatest enemy. This is karma for all those times he’s ignored it, isn’t it?
The wind is knocked out of him when his back slams to the floor, cushioned by the dulcet sounds of his bag crunching against broken glass.
He looks up at the wet floor sign.
The man on the yellow plastic mocks him.
Danny sighs.
He curses his stupid luck.
He curses this stupid city.
Then he curses himself because he knows any of this stupid city’s curses end up affecting him anyways.
Danny gets to his feet, ignoring the feeling of milkshake on his hands and his… everywhere.
He trudges out of the diner without looking back. At least he’d already paid for it.
He grimaces at the milkshake handprint on the door, trying to wipe it away with his shirt and only succeeding in making it worse.
Danny catches the eyes of the server inside, staring at him, eyes progressively more annoyed.
Danny puts his hands up in surrender and backs away.
Directly into a person. Only his milkshake covered self prevents him from being hit with anything more than the man’s scathing glare.
He puts his hands back up and moves away to dodge everybody else on the sidewalk. Along with the occasional ghost. Visible only to him of course.
By the time he has managed to escape the sidewalks into an alley, he is certain there is a trail of slightly sticky businessmen behind him.
Danny crouches to swing his backpack down in front of him and take stock. Okay, he could put his sweatshirt on over it… but it would also get ruined… damn it.
Danny looks around, checking every inch of the alley for cameras and then backing himself into a corner just to be safe. The flicker of intangibility is barely noticeable except for the wet squelch of milkshake remnants dropping to the alley floor. Lovely.
And of course, the flash of every single Gotham ghost in the area becoming visible and almost tangible for a split second. Also… lovely. There’s a couple startled shouts on the street.
Maybe an alleyway was not the best place for that.
Danny slides his sweatshirt on over his shirt to at least pretend like he was covering a mess and then shimmies out of the alley while trying to make as little contact with ghosts as possible.
He’s almost completely certain he looks crazy as all get out if the stare he gets from a passerby means anything.
Of course… now he’s left glaring across the street again.
He can feel the Infini-Map burning a hole in his backpack. It said this was the next place a natural portal would open and get him back home.
It just didn’t say… when that portal would open.
But of course, it’ll be right in the middle of somebody’s store. Usually not an issue. Except again, this stupid city’s curses are attracted to his energy, so of course the store couldn’t be literally ANYTHING ELSE!
Danny glares at the stupid fricking sign and the stupid predictable pun and the stupid neon hand in the front window waving at him.
‘The Claire Witch Project: psychic, medium, and Claire-voyant’
Danny is on day three of simultaneously avoiding the entire building while remaining close enough he can be there when the portal forms.
He is dirty, tired, and running out of money. In short, Danny is starting to lose hope on this endeavor.
The worst part?
He has the perfect solution.
There’s a pathetic little piece of printer paper taped to the inside of the window.
‘Help wanted’
When he’d first gotten here, Danny had followed the infini-map all the way to this horrific city, seen the sign, and turned a quick 180. He’d rather die again thanks.
He’d smacked into two billboards just coming into the city, and there was literally no stars, why would he want to stay here till the portal opened when he could just find another?
Except.. Danny’s eye twitches dangerously as he thinks back on it- except there wasn’t another portal. This was it. For the foreseeable future, he either caught this portal or was stranded for whoever knows how much longer.
Danny sighs again and dreads his continued existence. He looks both ways on the street, takes a step forward, nearly gets run over, steps back, and turns for the nearest crosswalk.
Fine. He could follow rules if it meant increasing his chances of leaving.
He tries to hold in the sigh this time, he really does, he swears.
Not the one before he opens the shop door though, that sigh deserved freedom from his trials. It joins the myriad of whispy translucent shades lingering in the store. Because of course there was just enough spiritual energy in here for them to be visible to him.
“Hey there!” A girl in loose fitting colorful clothing appears from behind a corner, “I’m Claire! How can I help your life journey today?” He can see the way her bulky crystal hair accessories sway with her movements. What was he getting into here again?
Danny tries to ignore the incense shoving itself up his nose as he speaks, “Hey, I was…” He was really doing this huh? “Hoping that the help wanted position is still available?”
The girl looks him over as she moves to the back of the checkout counter. The clear observation makes him nervous, and he takes his hands out of his pockets to try and look marginally more… candidate-able.
“You have experience?”
“Sure d-“ He wants to throw up in his own mouth, ancients this is so cringe, just let him die, “Sure do!” He says through choked back vomit and false cheer, “I’m a…” -barf- “I’m a medium.”
“Oh don’t worry about that, you don’t need a uniform, I don’t need your size silly!”
Danny blinks. What? Also. What?
“Wait-I’m hired?”
Claire pauses from getting something from under the counter, “Didn’t I already say that?”
“Uh…” Danny’s eyes dart around the shop, “No?”
“Oh well, you are, you have the right vibes, don’t worry,” she slides a few papers onto the glass counter, and Danny is abruptly, horrifically reminded he has no legal documents to speak of here. He thinks. He hasn’t actually checked.
Crap.
“Of course, most of my clients pay in cash, so I’ll pay you in cash too just to make it easier, and any crystal sales I’ll just add to it. Sound good?”
“Sure?” Oh no, is this gonna be Danny’s first real job? “But I don’t know anything about crystals. I have a goth friend but she’s not into that stuff.”
Claire waves his comment away, “Oh no worries, I can leave a packet.”
Danny nods, “Thank- wait, sorry. Leave?”
Claire laughs, pulling out a bag from behind her counter, “Yes I leave for a trip in two days. Family things you know,”
Danny feels like his brain is being scrambled, “Oh, what, what happened? Is everything okay?”
Claire looks at him, blinking wide, “What? Why would anything have happened?”
“Because… you said, you were leaving for-“
“Just don’t want to get caught in a bad position, you know how it is.”
Some of the shades stir in the air, their misty movements twitching with agitation enough to draw his eye for a second.
“Right. Well I’m glad I came when I did then,” Danny says, because he still doesn’t want to be rude.
Claire smiles at him.
Danny pats his hands against his sides awkwardly, trying not to look up at the movement of the shades intertwined with incense smoke at the ceiling.
There’s a little jingle behind him, which he belatedly realizes is the door when Claire moves to greet them before he can even turn around.
“Ms. Jives! Wonderful to see you! How’s the goldfish?”
Ms. Jives turns out to be a slightly older woman, maybe early seventies with a cane but she looks good. The coffee brown hair is almost certainly a dye job but it frames her wrinkled face well.
“Oh Jim is lovely dear, much better this way, I bought him a new plant just the other day, he just loves it.”
“Good, here for your reading right?”
“I am! But you can finish up with your customer first if you need,” Ms. Jives says. Claire waves her concern away.
“No need, this is Danny, I just hired him, he has a similar mystical connection.”
“Oh that’s lovely,” Ms. Jives says as she passes by him, “Would you like to come with dear? Claire is going to do a reading for me.”
Danny grimaces, “Sure.”
In the end, by the time Ms. Jives makes it slowly to the back room, Danny is trying to think of where he’s gonna sleep tonight. He mostly zones out when Claire dims the lights and starts talking nonsense.
All he heard was “something something card, something something magician something reversed something something balance something something chihuahua.”
Ok, maybe he wasn’t listening. But he was trying to focus on not staring at the movement of the shades, and the incense was mega strong and Claire had some weird ass music playing. He’s almost certain she’s faking everything. Down to the atrociously bright bead earrings.
Danny sags when she finishes, all too happy to leave the weird little curtain covered room.
He stands in the front awkwardly while Ms. Jives pays, twiddling with the various crystals and trying to figure which ones are actually y’know.. mystical or whatever.
Answer? Surprisingly most of them. That he could tell, at least, but it’s not like he actually knows how to sense that out on purpose. He’s pretty sure a couple of the heart shaped rose quartzes are complete duds but what does he care.
He’s thoroughly bored by the time Claire calls him back over. Apparently to tell him that he’ll do a reading tomorrow.
“Tomorrow?!” Danny blurts, “Don’t you want to like- I don’t know, make sure I can- or like.. I don’t know, but tomorrow?”
Claire just smiles at him, “I believe you can handle it, trust me.”
‘Trust you? Lady, I just met you and you’ve been nothing but crazy the whole time!’ Danny wants to say, instead, he keeps his mouth shut and nods with what he’s sure is fear in his eyes.
Then she’s pressing something into his hands and when he looks down it’s a key. A key. There’s no way-
“So be here 9am sharp, Danny! You can open up and I’ll come in later!” Claire starts pushing him towards the door, “And Mr. Wayne should be waiting for you when you get here!”
Danny turns around to catch himself in the doorframe, “Mr who will be what now!? Wait, Ms. Claire, Ma’am- why-!” He stops to lower his volume and ask politely, “Why am I doing this? You don’t even know me,” Danny says, one leg still in the store.
Claire smiles, “Because the universe told me to silly! See you tomorrow! Here’s my number!” Then she slaps a sticky note to his chest with enough finality that Danny takes a step back. The door closes with a click and ring of the bell inside.
Danny stares at the door with his eye twitching for at least a minute.
What the hell did ‘the universe told me to’ even mean, you kook!?
Danny sighs and looks down at the sticky note, quickly inputting the number in his phone before something happens to it.
He’s barely hit save when he finally steps away from the shop front and…. is immediately drenched to the bone.
Because apparently it’d been pouring rain and he simply hadn’t noticed from under the awning.
He watches as blue ink slides off the sticky note in little sad face streaks.
Danny sighs.
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maybevarric · 3 months ago
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i'm kind of obsessed with the fact that manfred doesn't speak because hiring renowned voice actor matt mercer to make only skeleton noises is absolutely peak behaviour on bioware's part
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lauraneedstochill · 6 months ago
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Viserys I Targaryen and his brother Daemon vs Aegon II Targaryen and his brother Aemond
🔪 inspired by this post:
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[also, if I may add: Daemon taking a chance to acknowledge his brother’s pain and offer him some comfort, even if only in a dream vs Aemond who completely disregarded Aegon’s pain of losing a child who was brutally murdered because of Aemond’s actions] + here’s another parallel 🔪
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mialovesyouchris · 1 month ago
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chris sturniolo P!LINKS
everything is from X/twitter!!
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breeding kink
fingering you
anal
size kink
fucking your panties
tummy bulge
fucking you rough in matts car
eating you like his last meal
backshots
size kink pt.2
taglist: @mattsfavgf
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jakeperalta · 24 days ago
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companion to this poll! feel free to add the book title in the tags :)
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blanks--pace · 5 months ago
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Wake up it's August 1st!!!!!
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realangelahernandez · 9 months ago
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When he’s written by Lana del Rey
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mrgaretcarter · 4 days ago
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Doctor Who 5x10 - Vincent and the Doctor Cunk on Life (2025)
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whichcouldmeanothing · 1 year ago
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Where have you been? Doesn’t matter. I’m home now.
MATT BOMER & JONATHAN BAILEY as HAWK & TIM Fellow Travelers S01E02 “Bulletproof” (all episodes)
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thoughtkick · 3 months ago
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Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.
Matt Kahn
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pierppasolini · 3 months ago
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Bigger Than Life (1987) // dir. Matt Sterling
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seafullofpeace · 4 months ago
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pls do a fluffy one where matt or chris (ur choice) are streaming and y/n wants attention
Clingy today, aren't we?
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summary: you're watching your boyfriend as he stream, and you want nothing more right now than to cuddle with him
an: thank you for the request! I'm sorry, I personally think it's awful and cringe :( my first time writing like that and I didn't quite had the idea for it. also sorry for bad english! not my first language <3 JUST DON'T READ THAT
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You were sitting on top of your boyfriend's bed and scrolling through some meaningless apps while looking up at him from time to time. Chris is streaming for 2 hours already and you're slowly getting bored. Even though you love to admire your boyfriend and watch how he focus on monitor in front of him, you wish you could just lay with him and relax in his arms right now. Even though the fans know about your relationship with Chris, you are shy and scared to show it publicly sometimes, so you don't really want to come up to him straightforward and ask for anything.
Your eyes continued to watch your boyfriend then you saw that he lost in the game. He groaned from annoyance then turned around on his swivel chair. He gave you a small smile, then ask:
"Ya' alright, hun?" , and you just nod in response. He smiled gently again then stand up because he wanted to grab something from the kitchen, and you decided to follow him. He looked at you as he heard that you're walking after him. He noticed your bored but a sad expression that was clearly visible on your face and that made him frown. He walked towards you then wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on top of your head.
"What's wrong, baby? I'm really sorry if the stream is taking too long for your liking." -he whispered quietly into your ear as your head is rest comfortable against his chest. You looked up at him then he kissed your forehead.
"It's completely okay, just...can we spend some time together after? I kinda need it." -you asked quietly while looking up at him. He lift your chin with his fingers a little then spoke:
"Absolutely, whatever you want. I love you so much, keep that in your pretty head, alright?" , then he kissed your lips gently and you both went to the kitchen. After few minutes he sat on his chair again and you lay down in his bed. In a long amount of time- next hour passed. You had enough of laying so you walked to Chris and he looked up at you with a smile.
"Chat, we all say hi to my pretty girl." you smiled a little then waved to the camera and look at him again.
"How much longer, Chris..?" you asked quietly, a little scared that it will sound rude.
"Not too long, babe. They wanted me to play Fortnite at the end, so I'll give them a little of it, okay?" he answered. But you didn't wanted to wait any longer so you just sat down on his lap softly and bury your face into Chris's hoodie. He chuckled, the gesture melted his heart, then look at you with affection in his eyes.
"Clingy today, aren't we?" then he put a strand of your hair behind your ear. You cuddle to him like that for a few more minutes, then you heard:
"You know what, guys.. I'll continue the game tomorrow so I invite you all to my stream. Priorities first." he said while looking at you. Then after saying goodbye to fans he finished the stream and look at you as you still straddle his lap and cling to him.
"Pick the movie, I'll bring the snacks."
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thehopefulquotes · 8 months ago
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No one will understand you. It is not, ultimately, that important. What is important is that you understand you.
Matt Haig, The Humans
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aglionbyacademia · 3 months ago
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Neil in a “my kink is karma” t shirt
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devilandacat · 5 months ago
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ARE YOU SEEING THIS??? I NEED MORE OF THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE.
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justine-the-guillotine · 1 month ago
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Found out where everyone was getting these pictures from lmao
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