#the left side was genesis sad and this side was genesis glad

[julijbee]

happy pride.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

wait omg can i request joshua for the praise thing?? it's so cute i think i'm gonna pass out /pos (gn!six please)

Joshua Graham Reacts to g/n! Six Giving him Praise

Ahh yes! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, that piece was just too darn sweet to write, honestly.

Sorry it took so long to come out, but here it is! I hope you like it! 😁

Also, here's the original ask as well:

"I just have to ask you for a few characters 👉👈 Porter Gage, Hancock, Raul, Charon and Gob ack don't call me out for my ghoul loving ass just getting showered in praise. I just feel the ghouls don't GET enough lovin', they are all wonderful, handsome and great men."

And here is the link to the full post!

I'm gonna add Joshua to the full post as well, btw :3

“Joshua?” Your voice carried smoothly over the sand, through the hot, dry air. But Joshua didn’t stir, he didn’t even seem to register his name. 

“You okay?” You pressed forward, craning your neck as you took a couple steps in his direction, trying to see what it was in the creek that had caught his attention so fully. 

“Did you… find something?” You bent down as you reached Joshua’s side, noting the way his unblinking eyes seemed glued to… nothing. Nothing, but his own reflection, staring back with the same intensity. 

The sand shifted beneath you as you settled by Joshua’s side. He noticed you, out of the corner of his eye, but remained silent. 

What could he say? 

How could he speak all that he was thinking, as he peered down at his scarred and bandaged face? Could he voice the way that he feels? So unworthy of your devotion to him, so confused as to why you stay by his side, so appreciative that you care for him the way you do, but so wholly afraid that if he speaks his fears, that they will come true. That, as soon as you come to your senses, as soon as the novelty of being with him fades, you will leave…

Who could love a face like mine? And more… Who could love the man that this face belongs to? A man who has done so much wrong, that his sins could only be absolved through the most violent forms of suffering? And even still… Am I truly free of them? 

He did not feel it. 

“I... am not worthy…” The missionary began quietly, and saw your head snap towards him as the words met your ears. “I am not worthy of even the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness you have shown me.”

“What?” You asked, your brows furrowing as you shifted your body to face him, rather than the stream of water below. 

“It’s a line from Genesis." He attempted to clarify, "Jacob is speaking to God, speaking to him of his own humility in response to the devotion that the Lord has shown him.”

Your brows didn’t unfurrow. 

“And that… That has to do with…?” 

“I’m not…” Joshua’s jaw clenched as his eyes finally left his own watery visage in favor of hiding behind his downed lids. 

“I’m not sure why I said it. The quote just… came over me.” He lied, knowing full-well that the words had everything to do with you. 

If I tell you that I feel unworthy of you, will that start something? Will that plant the idea in your mind that I don’t deserve you? Will you then act on that idea?

“Hey.” 

He felt your touch upon his shoulder as your voice met his ears, it was light, but unyielding as your fingers clenched at the bandages insistently. 

“You can talk to me.” You smiled as Joshua’s eyes opened and his gaze landed upon your face, and he wasn’t immune to it. Nor your words, and all that they promised. 

Love rejoices with the truth.

“I’m humbled by you, Six. Humbled by the love you show me every day, and I feel… As Jacob did with the love of God. I feel unworthy of you.”

He felt your grip tighten upon his shoulder as sadness flooded your expression. It pained him to know he was the source of the strife he saw in your eyes.

“Sometimes it’s easy to forget who I am, what I’ve done… What I look like, when I’m beside you, but then, my reflection finds me. Then as I look upon your face, as I remember your deeds and your devotion to me, your kindness to others... I cannot help but feel confused.”

“Joshua, I–” 

He continued insistently, his scarred brow hardening over the intense blue of his eyes as you saw them spark with fire from within.

“I have erred more times than I could possibly count, and yet, each is written upon me, like a shouted word, etched into my very skin for all the world to see. For all who gaze upon me to pity me and my failures, to hate my deeds and to agree that I am unworthy of compassion and repentance. That I am unworthy of happiness, and certainly, of love. They see you beside me, and they know, simply by seeing me, that I am unworthy of you.” 

Joshua’s hand traveled slowly up to grasp at yours. Your eyes were wide and glistening as he gently took hold of you, and removed your touch from him. 

The air was utterly caught in your throat as your partner released your hand from his grip and stood beside you, his gaze resting back on the reflection in the running water that marred his covered features even further with each ripple over the small, jagged river stones that weren’t yet smoothed over by the current. 

“But it seems that you’ve failed to note this. Whether by choice, or simply because you are too righteous to see such things, you’ve still stood by me, even despite all that I’ve done, and that I am... I had to be sure you know the truth, Six. So that you can make your own decision about me, about our relationship… And you can find the words and inspiration you need to leave me behind, and to move on to better things. To be with someone who deserves you.” 

And truth will set you free.

The thought sprung unbidden into Joshua's mind.

I don't feel free.

But perhaps... Perhaps, now, Six can.

Still, you sat in the sand, in shock at everything that had just left your partner, the man you love, and have loved happily for the months you’ve been together.

Where had it all come from?

One moment you’re making camp, waiting for Joshua to collect water, dusting off the fabric of your tent, laying out the bedrolls close enough to later rest in his embrace all through the night, and now he… what? Wants you to leave him?

What changed?

Joshua made a move to step away from you, to leave you kneeling there, alone, beside the river that had apparently inspired these harsh words that encouraged even harsher actions, but you would not stand for it.

You could not. 

“I won’t leave you, Joshua.” You got to your feet as he paused his steps, and he tilted his head towards you, to better hear your words. To hear the justification that he was sure would be well-meant, but ultimately, unfounded. 

“Why?” He whispered, and you got the sense that he was going to speak more, that he would continue monologuing until he convinced himself further that you do not belong with him, even when you know that, beyond all reason, you do.

“Because Joshua, because..." You took a breath as righteous words filled your mind, "'You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and… I love you.' That quote comes from the book of Isaiah. And it’s God speaking to Jacob, telling him that this is why men are worthy of him, and why, even if they’re not, they’re still deserving of unconditional love, even by one as divine and perfect as God.” 

Joshua’s eyes were the ones widening now, and his body turned so that he could face you fully once again. 

“Now, I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but… If God can stand to love you, if he can keep you here, after all you’ve been through, if he can promise you life, even after going through what should’ve meant your death tenfold, then can’t I do the same? Can’t I promise you a life with me, can’t I love and accept you for who you are, no matter what anyone else thinks?” 

Joshua’s light eyes were glistening as they fixed on the sand below him, and you couldn’t help but step forward to try and draw his attention back to you. 

I had to sit through your monologue of self-hatred. Now it’s your turn to listen to all the reasons your words were wrong.

I won’t have you tuning me out.

“After living a life so devoid of it, there’s no one I can think of who’s more worthy of love and compassion than you.” 

You placed both hands on either side of his face, gently urging his eyes to meet yours. 

“Everything you’ve done, Joshua… You’ve been made to pay for. Just as you said, it’s all written upon your body, but it’s here too.” You dragged one palm down to rest over his chest. It was warm to the touch, even through the layers of his bandages and clothes. 

“And here.” The fingers of your other hand brushed over his temple, then his forehead. 

“You’ve paid for it enough. With these horrible thoughts, these feelings of unworthiness plaguing you, every mark upon your skin, all the pain you feel every day. Trust me, my love, you've paid for it. Now… I think God and I both just want you to know peace.” 

Joshua’s hands rose to delicately collect yours, to pull them down in between your bodies. But he didn’t release them from his grasp this time, only held them there, embracing you as much as he could allow himself as his mind still swirled with turmoil. 

“But why?" He asked, "You don’t have to be with me. No one is requiring it of you; and with another, everything would be so much easier. You could be happy… Happier than I can make you.”

“Why you?” You almost laughed at him, it seemed so obvious within the confines of your own mind, the mind that was almost always occupied with thoughts of him only. “I love you, Joshua. I love how you speak to me, how you respect me and want me in your life. I love that I’m able to help you, but you… You’ve helped me more than I think you know.” 

“How?” His voice was so desperate for an answer, it was almost demanding.

“Ever since I woke up from that grave… I didn’t really have a purpose. I didn’t know who I was, didn’t have anyone in my life to turn to, I didn’t have a path... but you gave me one. With you, I could help people in ways I never imagined. You were always so sure of your own path, that it inspired me to be sure of it too. To become a part of your path.”

You could feel your hands shaking where he held them between you. Your whole body was trembling with insistence, begging him to take your words to heart.

Everything about this night that the two of you were sharing once pointed to normalcy. Making camp, divvying out duties, feeling the warmth of the fire against the cool desert air, hearing the wind sweep over the dunes of sand; it was like so many other nights spent with one another. You hadn’t expected to have this conversation, hadn’t thought you’d be fighting tooth and nail to get your partner to understand how deeply you cared for him, how much you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving him, let alone ever consider it without his knowledge. But it was happening, and now this night was so much more important than all those others, because if you fail… It could be the end of all of this. This bliss that you’ve taken for granted. 

You’d survived without him for months before you ever met him, you could find happiness without Joshua, you knew that, but… With him, you didn’t have to look for happiness. With him, it surrounded you. 

“You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes,” You said quietly, and even with the linen wraps covering Joshua's visage, you could see the way he softened at your words. “You made me love you more with every word you spoke. I can’t imagine who I’d be now without you, and I don’t want to.” 

Your hands tightened within his grasp, and you pulled his body closer to yours as your eyes stayed locked to his mesmerizing gaze.

 “Darling… in all my life, I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you. Believe me.” 

You insisted, and then you leaned forward even further, and kissed him. 

The thin linen obstructed you a bit, but it didn’t matter. You could feel the heat of him through it, sense the shape of his lips as they moved against yours, as they relented to your touch, and to your words. As he let you love him. 

Joshua’s hands released yours, allowing you to press yourself closer to him as you felt his touch upon your hip, and around the nape of your neck. In the same movement, your arms smoothed over his chest to grasp at his shoulders. He took a deep breath in through his nose, as though he’d been devoid of oxygen until you pressed yourself to him, and you felt the warm puff of air pass through his bandages and caress your face as he exhaled. Subtly, you could taste him through the barrier, the sweetness of cactus fruit, and the tartness of the healing powder he mixed into the water he drank. You sighed into him at the familiarity of it all. His touch, his taste, his burning warmth that sometimes felt unnaturally hot. Enough so, even, that it could scar you in return. 

And though it never had, Joshua hadn’t ever left any physical blemishes upon your skin from his touch, from his love of you, you were certain that you hadn’t gone completely unmarked by him. Like the words he spoke, like the thoughts and actions he inspired, like the emotions that surrounded him in your mind, his mark was within you. And all of that, all of his influence, his own love for you in return, that you felt was as permanent as any scar left upon his own skin. 

“Thank you,” You felt Joshua whisper against you as you parted, but remained pressed to one another. “Thank you, Six, for all that you have given me. I… I still do not feel worthy of it, but, I will do what I can to change that. No matter how long it takes.” 

“Mm.” You hummed, a grin touching your lips as you pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, soaking in the simple feel of him. “And I’ll be right here. Right beside you, all the way.” 

You felt the outline of his own smile as Joshua leaned forward, and captured your lips with his once again.

[cacneo]

I’m gonna throw all my initial thoughts about rebirth here while the ending is fresh:

1) Myrna is adorable, 10/10 no notes

2) I literally gasped aloud when Zack touched Cloud and ended up fighting along side him

3) I feel like square is fucking with us at this point with all the stamp variations

4) I’m still very hopeful for an ending where Zack is fully back. It’s interesting that they are using the white room again like in AC, I’m wondering what connection that has to the livestream and who ends up rejoining vs being in the room and what that means

5) I really need a list of everything that was changed or expanded upon vs the original

6) I’m a little conflicted with the styling of the Gi and the sort of characterization of them as a group of people. I’d be less conflicted if square hadn’t royally made asses of themselves in FF16, but they lost a lot of benefit of the doubt there recently. But having a group that is styled to look like (to my eyes anyway) African tribesmen, positioning them as outside invaders, and having them say that the cetra’s exclusion of them is why they poured all their hate into a world-ending material is uh…….not great, and it’s even worse when positioned in a narrative about the corrupting power of anger and the need for letting things go. It comes off as a “oh but slavery/colonization/etc. was so long ago, why are you still hung up on it, you’re being divisive by not just moving on.” Left a really bad taste in my mouth after that section, hopefully they just leave it there instead of digging a bigger hole in pt 3

7) I’m putting my money on part 3 coming out in 2027 for the 30th anniversary

8) after them bringing Weiss and Nero back in intergrade, and after reminding myself of them showing up at the end of crisis core, I’m guessing they will show up again when the party goes to midgar in pt 3

9) I’m going to have to find a way to replay dirge of Cerberus

10) still not sure what’s going on with them trying to say that cloud thought Zack drowned??? Presumably it’s sephiroth fuckery

11) I really need context for a) why they added roche as a character and b) why he would have volunteered for a hojo experiment

12) maybe ever crisis has / will do some of this, but I really want some context for like, what fuckery happens in SOLDIER post crisis core and pre main game with their whole chain of command fucked

13) the level design and environment people did a phenomenal job

14) Zack’s new voice actor did waaaayy better this time, whether through practice or better voice direction or both. It actually sounded more like him

15) sad to see the banora posters around but no mention of angeal and genesis (unless you count the loveless production being version G as a genesis mention)

16) square really decided to punish me for not using magic most of the game with that elemental barrier at the end

17) I ship clerith way more than I used to. Remake/rebirth have given her so much more character

18) same for yuffie, I’m glad she got intergrade and with the wutai war being a bigger deal I’m looking forward to better characterization for her too

19) curious what the plan is for cid since they’ve brought him in differently

20) and still a little heartbroken that cid/vincent aren’t full party members

21) I guess wedge appearing in the loveless scene with Jesse/biggs means he did die at the shinra building when the whispers pushed him

22) it’s neat that your weapon changes in scenes based on what you have equipped, but it does really ruin a lot of the cinematic parallels with Zack if you don’t keep the buster sword equipped all game

[aimeelouart]

Repurposing a bit of server freewriting for part 2 of purring!Cloud (Saving Subject C AU). Lil’ bit of whump, lil’ bit of hurt/comfort, and lovely fluffy cuddles

Also doubles as a preview if we end up going in a certain direction, but tbh I doubt it. Either way, spoiler free.

--

Cloud held pressure across his stomach, grimacing as the pain came and went in throbbing waves. He’d already pulled the shrapnel out so his body wouldn’t seal around it. Now it was just a matter of staying still and keeping pressure on until it closed enough for him to safely move.

His chest was doing the fucking thing (he refused to put a name to it) but he couldn’t make it stop, which didn’t make any sense. Didn’t cats only...do the thing when they were happy? Why was it happening to him now? 

Fuck, at least the SOLDIERs weren’t around to hear it.

“Cloud!”

The call was still fairly distant. Cloud loosed an involuntary, irritated grunt at the sound. Shit, they were persistent. Maybe that wasn’t surprising. He had run off and destroyed Shinra property at the first available opportunity. With any luck, his hiding space would work until the hole in his side closed and he could make a proper escape. It didn’t have to be long. Just...long enough.

Gaia, he was starting to feel lightheaded. He cracked an eye open and checked the size of the blood puddle spreading from his side. It was much wider than he’d hoped. He might be in more trouble than he thought.

“There you are.”

Cloud breathed out a heartfelt “fuck” as Sephiroth’s voice reached him. Grimacing, he tilted his head enough to see the silver-haired demon kneeling and peering into the dark space beneath the broken lift Cloud was using for cover. He snarled at the man, but it was half-hearted at best. Even if he somehow found the strength to take up his commandeered knives again, he was too weak to run, never mind fight.

He’d miscalculated, and how he was going to pay for it.

But…

But.

Sephiroth didn’t sound angry when he dropped down onto his stomach and slid as far into the narrow space as he could. “Cloud, where are you hurt?” He sounded…concerned, alarmed, maybe even a little bit…afraid? “Cloud?”

“Fuck off,” Cloud slurred, confused. His sight was starting to gray a little bit around the edges. A real pang of concern shot through him. Had he missed an exit wound?

Sephiroth snorted a little, disbelieving. “Even when you are bleeding out, you still…” He reached, but even his long arm wasn’t quite enough to snag Cloud’s shirt. “Cloud, can you move toward me? Just a little bit.”

He hunkered down into himself, trying to apply more pressure. The pain was fading, and he still couldn’t make the stupid rumbling stop. “No.”

“I can’t help you unless you move a little bit, Cloud.”

“Fuck off,” he repeated, eyes starting to slide shut.

Another voice. “Seph?”

“He’s here. I can’t reach him.”

Cloud’s eyes shut all the way.

“Let me try. Here, Angeal, take my coat for a second.”

The voices were starting to sound like they were coming from underwater. Cloud felt, distantly, that this was definitely the point at which he should have been outright alarmed. He’d missed something. Probably an exit wound on his back, based on the blood loss. He’d be fine, even if they left him where he was, but they weren’t going to do that. He wished he had the strength to grab one of his knives.

“Cloud, sweetheart, can you say something?”

He found the will to say “fuck off” a third time. It sounded like “f’k ov.”

Genesis—that was Genesis—snorted. “Okay. Okay, I’ve…” Fingers snagged the edge of his sleeve. “…got you! I’ve got you, come on.” He pulled, sliding Cloud across the blood-slicked ground until he could grab an arm, and then Cloud was dragged from the safety of his hiding space and out into the light. Alarms were still going off in the distance. He smirked weakly.

“Shit, kiddo,” someone breathed as he was rolled onto his back. He couldn’t quite find the strength to keep his hand over the wound and it fell limply to the ground. “Did you⁠—is this a shrapnel wound? Cloud, did you pull it out?”

Duh, he thought, unable to articulate his disdain.

“Later, Genesis,” someone else said. Large, strong hands provided the compression Cloud wasn’t able to any more.

“I need to see his back. Get the shirt off.”

His shirt was cut off as he drifted in and out of consciousness. He was shifted, then propped up across someone as two more hands pressed down on either side of his torso. Magic flooded his body, sealing the path carved through his flesh. The gray retreated a little as another flood of magical energy compensated for his blood loss until his body could make up the difference. 

And, finally, the stupid purring stopped. He really, really hated that it seemed to be involuntary.

Cloud was shifted again, wrapped up in something primarily leather and then picked up like a swaddled infant. Fucking rude, he thought, struggling to drag his leaden eyelids up. A vaguely silver blur hovered above his face. He tried to object, but what came out of his mouth was closer to a grumpy kitten growl than articulated displeasure.

“Hush,” someone said. It might have been the silver blur. A water bottle was pressed against his lips and since he wasn’t completely self destructive, he drank.

“Little idiot. What was your plan, hmm? To bleed out under there?”

That was probably Genesis. Out of pure spite, Cloud managed to spit out a “yeah” in response.

A frustrated noise. A tired sigh. A rumbling, half-stifled laugh against his ear.

“Stop antagonizing him,” someone said. A hand passed over his face, brushing his staggering eyelids down. Tired, he let them stay closed. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk about appropriate responses to severe bodily harm later.”

And Cloud was...increasingly confused. It was hard to think, drained and cold and barely hanging on to consciousness, but none of this was what should have been happening. They were threatening...scoldings? No one was angry. He’d destroyed a massive amount of Shinra property, practically spat in their faces, and somehow no one was angry.

He shivered, and it had nothing to do with the chill.

--

Cloud’s little stunt had scared the hell out of them. It wasn’t that they didn’t care that he’d demolished Shinra property and made their job fending off the Turks much, much more difficult—they did—but when they’d started searching, they really had thought it would be a tiny, lifeless body they found. Any anger and frustration they might have felt paled in comparison to the sheer relief of finding him alive.

Sephiroth was the one watching him (hiding him, more or less), while Genesis and Angeal dealt with getting all of them back to the Tower in one piece. It wasn’t going to be easy, but Cloud was so little and this event just reinforced the fact that only SOLDIERs had any hope of containing him. Hopefully that would bolster their argument rather than encourage Science to get involved, because...well, forget what he and Genesis and Angeal would do to save the kid, Cloud himself would rip the whole department to shreds using only his teeth if they even tried to take him.

On some distant level, Sephiroth wondered how Cloud had managed to ensnare the three of them (and more SOLDIERs besides) so quickly. Or at all. Sephiroth wasn’t supposed to have a heart. He was supposed to be the pure paragon of SOLDIER, a soulless weapon forged only to mete out death. But here he was, holding a child safe in his arms and feeling his breath stutter every time he wondered what it would have been like to find a cold, unmoving body beneath that broken equipment.

Cloud was asleep, face milk-pale where it rested against the dark leather of his coat. He had proper blankets now, and Sephiroth’s own body heat besides. Angeal had been very clear about that—Cloud was not to be without a heat source until he was no longer anemic.

Not that Sephiroth would have willingly put him down. He found himself oddly agitated at the thought of not being able to feel the boy’s heartbeat beneath his palm. And, more than that...he felt unwilling to give up the strange, powerful contentment he felt just having Cloud safe in his arms.

“Seph?”

He startled a little, moving his eyes from Cloud’s face to find Genesis standing with one hand on the door frame, watching them with an unreadable expression. “...yes?” Sephiroth responded when Genesis didn’t continue. He realized that he had been shifting back and forth from foot to foot without noticing. When had that started?

“...you’re purring.”

What? He stopped—he stopped breathing entirely, actually. They’d told him about Cloud’s near-violent reaction to his own purring weeks before, but only now did he really understand. Because humans weren’t meant to be able to do that.

“Hey,” Genesis said quickly, crossing over to touch his arm, “stop. I know what you’re thinking.” His eyes were unusually gentle, maybe because he was riding the same relieved high Sephiroth was. “But...aren’t you glad Cloud isn’t alone?”

Aren’t you glad you’re not alone?

And he...was. He really was, once the thought was put to words. Cloud had been frightened by his own body and abilities, but he didn’t need to be anymore. Not when Sephiroth was with him. Neither of them were alone.

The rumbling started back up. He thoughtlessly leaned his head down and pressed his cheek to Cloud’s damp, unruly hair. The boy smelled like mako and blood and explosives. Sephiroth didn’t mind at all.

Genesis huffed a laugh, but it choked a little, and Sephiroth cracked an eye open inquisitively. “You’ve...you’ve never been injured enough or happy enough to do this before, have you?” he asked.

Oh. Was that it? He thought it might have been in response to Cloud, somehow, but...he really hadn’t ever felt such powerful relief and contentment until today, had he? Objectively, that was probably sad—that’s what Genesis’s expression was telling him. He didn’t much care though. There were more important things to think about.

So he just hummed noncommittally and gathered Cloud a little closer, shutting his eyes again. When Genesis huffed a second laugh, it was much lighter.

“So,” Genesis said, nudging him, “when is it my turn to play space heater?”

Sephiroth growled.

[reigning-rhapsody]

Résumé

Drabble; 821 words.

TW for suicide and slightly morbid descriptions of such

Genesis falls into the Mako reactor. His thoughts are those of and for no one but himself.

"If this world seeks my destruction… it goes with me."

His veins were pulsating and he could feel every last bit of the Mako mingling with his cold running blood inside the vessels hidden under fair skin, all the more pale as he extended his arms to both sides and let go of all strings holding his puppet body in the play of life the moment he leaned back manually on the railing before the darkness of the reactor's gravity took ahold of him and dragged him into his inevitable demise.

He'd always seen himself as rather light and slender and yet sinking closer into pitch blackness to soon be absorbed and adopted into the source of life for all that resides on Gaia, all that had existed once upon a time, it felt like time ran by way too fast and he had boulders tied to his limbs as he descended into the sea of the Limbo- and yet, it seemed like an eternity after all. Hitting the ground, it would only take mere seconds until identifying it was Genesis Rhapsodos who died there becomes a tedious task.

Splattered across the floor, torn apart and his beauty as someone among the people breathing and alive forgotten, instead becoming a sight only a God damn psychopath could seek comfort and enjoyment in, the outfit surrounding his fate shall be of great help to make out the mutilated mass on the cold ground reeking of metal- and that, soon, not through the material that forged it. Disgusting, a simple yet perfectly fitting word, the poet concludes in his fall.

If the world sought his destruction, it would go with him. An empty, stupid fucking promise through the need of having to dramatize even his last moments seeing another human. Or rather, a human. He's never had the right to call himself one to begin with. He's another problem in this realm of too many. Of no time to take care of things and selfishness, hatred- he'd be lying if he'd claim he wouldn't count regarding such.

Of course he does. Everyone does.

Nobody doesn't cause problems, but he's solving his own. Ending his existence, putting his presence to an abrupt halt to not have to be dealt with anymore, it was an easy way out. Maybe the spot he dropped from would be less merciful and instead of ending in a faux-firework of crimson, his lungs would fill with thousands upon thousands of souls eating him up internally like parasites, taking away his ability to breathe and let his wide eyes burn with the agony of their own deaths merging with his tears.

He'd shudder if the updraft whipping his face and brushing past him like blades about to cut him, pierce him, dissemble him right then and there in the most brutal way mother nature could think of with the winds wouldn't have his blood freeze up already. The only warmth he had left was the metaphorical burning of ice stretching across his whole, miserable little being.

That's what he felt like. Small, pathetic, insignificant and it wouldn't take long until that wouldn't be a melancholic lie but the blatant truth. He'd already reached acceptance through. That barely noticeable but so very important point when dying feels… okay.

When decaying and shattering and coming apart at the seams, rotting and breaking and being ripped to shreds, stopping to laugh and stopping to cry and stopping to breathe feels so, so right.

But he was laughing, even if inaudibly so for his voice had been robbed. And he was crying, but he didn't know what emotion to sort those tears he shed with. He was breathing, to, in choked and panicked gasps because that's how he works and always will in those last few moments as a grounded being.

Just how sad and fucking depressing was this? He's glad he's alone. He's thankful nobody has to witness the pathetic tragedy dropping deeper and deeper- unless who brought him to that place of desperation was still watching with a leer of terror and a mouth agape. He probably couldn't see him anyway- Genesis couldn't see anything but black either.

Would he blame himself, he wondered? Would Zack put the blame on his own person for driving someone to suicide? Would he? Or would he care to begin with, about someone he knew little to nothing about and saw as but a mere asshole that made his life so much harder, another problem during an already difficult time? Actually, he was the start of what made it all so complicated, anyway, right?

It wasn't his problem. Wouldn't be, that is. Right then right there in that moment, falling, laughing, crying, breathing, it was his problem. It was his fault. He knew it was his fault. He wouldn't say sorry though, it wouldn't do jackshit. So he will earn their forgiveness through other, obvious means.

[ravenfirelair]

Long review of my thoughts on wizards. *spoilers*

so yeah, I finally finished the final series in the tales of arcadia series: wizards and oh boy, was it a lot to take in. while overall it was good, but there some problems here and there. first, for the most part it did feel rushed, I really feels like content that could have been made for 2 seasons was squashed down into one. Why they even didn’t bother with a second season is beyond me. At times there was so much going on it was hard to keep up with it all. I did like douxie as the main character, I’m glad this series focused more on him to flesh out his character more. 

With morgana it feels like she switches sides to drastically too much, she goes from magic is good, we must protect all magical creatures to destroy all humans to I need to save my brother king arthur too much. Plus it was weird that when the arcane order pulled her out of the shadow realm she didn’t want to fight anymore and just wanted to be at peace. You would think she would be more hellbent on revenge after the ending of trollhunters. As for steve, at first I was excited to see him in the poster to see what he does in the show, and I honesty a was a bit disappointed, he doesn't do that much at all besides get in the way and be annoying and he is just kind of there without serving much of a purpose. Usually his annoyingness was toned down in trollhunters and 3 below, but in wizards it was upped to 100 percent and it gets really cringe worthy at points. In all honesty I would of liked it better if toby was the one that fell through into the time travel portal with douxie and the others, it would of served better narrative to the story to have the original trio back together and toby would have been a less useless character. Plus I feel toby and jim’s relationship has gotten servery sidelined since claire came more into the picture.

I liked the idea of hex tech, a secret society of wizards secretly working as tech repair people, i wished that idea was explored more in the series and to know exactly how many people are secretly wizards in arcadia. I liked this series portrayal of the lady of the lake, certainly different from what you would expect. I really liked the dragon character as well, I hope to see more of him in the movie. I was kind of disappointed only one 3 below character showed up in this and was not involved more in the story and it was not the big crossover we were hoping would happen in the series, but then again there is the movie going out, so maybe the big crossover is saved for then. And yeah, that means no tronos in this, which is disappointing, but not surprising, but a lot of other people’s favorites characters only got small cameos or didn’t show up at all. so I feel like I was not the only who got shafted, but then again like I said, movie coming on the way so maybe all the characters we missed in wizards will show up there. I think the show was certainly bold to kill off both king arthur and merlin in the short time frame of the series. Killing off mostly important characters seems to be a theme in this series.  I did like how the show gave a little bit backstory on Arrrgh and blinky, how arrrgh became good and became friends with blinky, that was nice.

This series had me really conflicted on merlin, he is still very much an ass throughout the series, but this series did show some really good moments of him too, like how he really cares for douxie and wants him to succeed at being a powerful wizard and in the end was willing to sacrifice his life for his apprentice.  And that merlin and douxie did have a good relationship, even if merlin was a strict grumpy old cunt sometimes. I know it doesn't excuse him for the horrible shit he did to jim and the bad decisions he has made, but still it did show that merlin did had a heart. Another thing I’m really conflicted about is jim turning back into a normal human at the end, on one hand yes, I’m glad jim can finally go back to his normal life, but on the other hand it made the tough decision merlin placed on him seem to have less impact and all the stuff merlin said about the change being permanent kind of meaningless. And yeah, I felt the magical tear from claire was kind of cliché. But then again it’s a kids show and most kid shows can’t get away with sad endings. Overall, I thought the series was pretty good, didn’t really reach all my expectations, but I thought it did good enough job to further wrap up the story.

I did feel the ending of the series left a lot of unanswered questions, like who are this arcane order and what to they want? I want to know more about the genesis seals and how they are used to destroy the world? How does jim and the others continue that fight without the amulet? Without the amulet, does that mean there will be no more trollhunters? Why couldn’t jim pull Excalibur out of the stone? Did the other trolls ever reach their new home in new jersey? Will the rest of the characters really show up in the final movie? Hopefully all these questions will get answered in the final movie coming out.

[my-brothers-corrupted]

My Brothers, Corrupted

Chapter Three : Section Five : Two Truths and a Lie

Chapter One l Chapter Two l Chapter Three

After a few harrowing days, we tie up loose ends and answer questions, while Anti goes searching for answers in a less orthodox way.

Trigger warnings for sudden distress, physical abuse and restraint, mentions of cutting and blood (not self-inflicted), and emotional manipulation.

Section Five of Chapter Three: Two Truths and a Lie

Okay I usually try to save questions I don’t get to for the next time I get to the boys but we’re just going to have some miscellaneous question time lol so I can clean out my inbox! you can ask anybody anything right now. I’ll probably just clear everything out and then later or tomorrow I’ll set a scene

I do think I want to come back towards more casual answering like we used to at the start, so if I start answering questions at more random times instead of like in two-hour chunks bear with me :)

Except Trick he’s not taking questions D:

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Dap! You feeling any better?

Dap is still cozied up in his blankets, holding you between his pale palms as he rouses himself. He sets you down on his lap.

“Feel very tired,” he confesses. “But not so much in the no-energy way. More like the no-interest way.”

“No interest in what?” asks Red softly, coming over off-screen to set a cup of water on his bedside table. Dapper doesn’t answer, rubbing at his sleepy eyes.

“Glad your color’s up,” says Red, though you can hear the frown in his voice. “You come back much quicker than Blue, honestly. Maybe you didn’t use as much power as I thought?”

Dapper shrugs and his stomach growls, but he doesn’t complain.

Anonymous asked: Hey boys

“Hi,” waves Dapper, smiling for you. “How are you, camera?”

Red chuckles and shuffles around the room.

“It talks to me,” signs Dapper dreamily. “Lots of voices. Cameras, brothers, bears, empty rooms. It talks to me.“

aether-mae asked: Magicians! can you either tell us your location, or tell us a location near you? Are you still in Peru?

“We are in Peru,” says Emmanuela. “It may not be safe to be more specific than that.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What are you two up to?

“I’ve got to go get him some breakfast here in a minute,” murmurs Red, coming to set you on the desk in the corner of the square little room, so you can see them better. There’s water damage making the ceiling sag and Dapper scratches on a little red bite on his neck, hugging his filthy white bear to his chest.

“I shouldn’t have spent so much on getting a room for a couple days,” sighs Red. “But he needed to lie down. And I have to admit it’s nice not sleeping on the street for a night.”

spicydanhowell asked: dap, red, when you're up, have you noticed maybe some churches or other places in local communities that have food donations? or actually, all kinds of fruit grow in peru. if you can find some kind of garden or orchard, you could snag some fruit when nobody's around. either of these would be a lot better than shoplifting or robbing houses :(

“You’re probably right,” mumbles Red morosely, dragging his hands through his hair. “I don’t trust those food donation places though. Fucking cops could be hanging out. Scumbags. Worse than American cops, here. Maybe.”

“That only happened once,” says Dapper. “Now you’re paranoid.”

“What?”

“It only happened once,” repeats Dapper, frowning. “That the cop followed you home after you went to get food from the nuns. And then Anti handled it. You’re paranoid.”

Red pauses, his mouth opening and shutting once.

“Dap… bud, you know I don’t remember farther back than Norway, right?”

Dapper doesn’t say anything, picking at the dirt on his bear’s ears.

“There’s no gardens around here that I know of, we’re right in the middle of this ugly city and everything’s apartment buildings and run-down businesses. I’m going to try and find a restaurant that throws stuff out or something before I steal anything, I guess. But I’m scared to be out in public and I just… I just wish we had…”

He kneads his thumb into his palm and goes quiet, his head down from the weight of it all.

cest-mellow asked: hey dok! how are you feeling with the magicians now? any safer than before?

He slept in his own bed tonight, curled up beneath the covers, but when he comes back to you, he looks upset, maybe even tearful.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks, holding you very tight again, rubbing at his wrists. “But I woke up afraid today and I - I - ”

He pauses, staring around him, his mouth shuddering.

“I don’t know, I felt safe yesterday, but I’m worried they did something to my head.”

He pushes his palm against the side of his skull and closes his eyes, biting down hard on his lip.

“Don’t know what kind of powers they have,” he whimpers. “What sort of things they could make me think. I never trust anybody but my family anymore… one time Anti said I could go to the synagogue, but I was too scared even to go… everybody is a threat.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: They've made a vow to us that they won't harm you, Dok. Don't be afraid :) we got your back

Dok breathes out a low sigh and swallows.

“Okay. Okay. They haven’t hurt me yet. Or the ones I’ve met, anyway. I don’t think that Old Man likes me, JP said��� and the medic girl, she doesn’t like me. I don’t want her to touch me.”

He wraps his arms around himself.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What have you been doing to keep busy, Dok?

“I sleep… I’m so tired. I haven’t really been… coherent enough to do much of anything this last week, but now…”

He chuckles, rubbing his arms. “Well, I confess a little boredom, but that’s the least of my worries, really.”

cest-mellow asked: magicians, did you guys do something to dok’s head?

The magicians seem to have found a way to share JP’s little network for your messages across devices, because you find yourself looking through a phone camera at Genesis and Hermann.

“Oh, yay, it is working,” he says.

“To his head?” asks Genesis.

“Oh, no, no, certainly not,” says Hermann. “What, hit him or hypnotize him or something like that? No, he’s okay. Is he scared of that?”

“It’s not surprising for him to be confused,” says Genesis.

And then, after a moment, she adds, “It was the same way with me, when I started to realize I hated my parents. It’s like - what, am I really thinking these things? Is this really all true? I think it would have been almost a relief to wonder if someone was hypnotizing me, so I didn’t have to admit what I was thinking.”

Hermann gives her privacy to say it, turning away and busying himself with whatever they’re working on. A moment later, he straightens up with his arms laden with bags and boxes and a backpack thrown over his shoulder.

“Good news, though,” he says, smiling at you. “We finished going through all the things they had in the car, so now the medico can see everything that didn’t seem dangerous. Do you think he’ll like having his stuff back?”

“We think this is his,” adds Genesis, holding up Dok’s nice white doctor’s coat. “Yeah?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Where'd you find that? I'm sure he'll love to have it back!

“They left their car behind,” says Genesis. “So everything that wasn’t on the backs of the others is with us now!”

nikkilbook asked: Could have sworn Marvin had a Lapwing tattoo...? Pretty sure he was in the Irish order. And just in case, check for the name “Marvin McLoughlin.” Not sure if that’s the one, but I figure it’s worth a shot.

“Oh, I do,” mumbles Blue.

You find him laid out in a new bed, dressed in white, looking very tired, but cozy beneath his covers.

“Yes, I think that’s what it is. A lapwing. I don’t remember well…”

———————

“Oh, Lapwing,” says JP, nodding at his computer. “Oh, excellent. Oh, perfect, thank you, thank you. An Irish magician. I will find him.”

Anonymous asked: Hello Marv, how are you feeling?

“A little zoned out,” he mumbles, closing his eyes. “They gave me something different. I don’t mind, though. It calmed me down. Now I’m not so upset. I felt like I couldn’t even handle last night. But now I’m just drifting…”

He shivers, once.

“I’m just scared of what Anti will do to me… to Trick…”

bupine asked: what else was in the car, magicians?

“Well, we did find some creepy stuff,” confesses Hermann, frowning. “Like… masks and stuff.”

“Chains.”

“Yeah, things to torture people, you know, like - blowtorch?”

“Yeah, that’s the word. And this weird electric set-up. Like these bars that could shock you. Really fucked up stuff.”

“But then the rest of it is just normal stuff!” Hermann puts his hand in one of the boxes and rifles through. “Games, toys, books, art stuff. Mostly clothes!”

“We’ll let the medico look through the rest of it.”

bupine asked: hey anti, is trick ok?

Anti glances up at you, a warning in his eyes.

He’s sitting on his bed, eating cold red curry out of the take-out box while he works on his computer. It looks to be late afternoon with that much light coming in the window.

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t move you, either, and you can see a figure laid out in the bed beside him, his messy hair fluffed against the pillows, breathing deep and steady as he sleeps.

aether-mae asked: Hey magicians, i was wondering if we could lead the other brothers who are also separated from the demon to you. Is there a location we could ask them to meet you at?

“Oh, please do,” begs Hermann, eyes wide. “Please bring the other boys here. We would really keep them safe, I do promise. I… I don’t know where we could meet them, I’d have to ask Emmanuela.”

“Good look convincing them,” mumbles Genesis, looking unconvinced, but sad too, because she knows even better than Hermann the way that they were living.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: You need to take care of him, Anti. He can't deal with your crap, okay?

Anti chooses to type his answers back to you. Actually, he doesn’t look to be typing at all, but his words show up on your screen nevertheless.

“What about this makes you think I’m not taking care of him?”

scunneredzombie asked: Y'know Anti... as horrid as all the things you're doing are, I'm starting to notice something. In your own weird way, you really do adore your brothers. You've said before you're incapable of love but, honestly? I doubt that. You love them. You want family just as much as they do. Why not give it to them, Anti? Why do you have to hurt them, why not allow you all to be a family? A normal, healthy, family?

Anti’s mouth opens angrily, and then he blushes dark, realizing he’s been caught red-handed showing mercy to one of his puppets.

“I do not adore him,” he sends you, eyes flashing. “He’s a guard dog. But if you want to believe I’m secretly a soft, loving, lonely little boy, hey - go right the fuck ahead.”

He smiles meanly at you.

“Family is a manipulation tactic. Trickshot is a pet.”

Anonymous asked: “What about this makes you think I’m not taking care of him?” Because you're you. Do we even have to elaborate?

“I can be nice,” types Anti, and gives you a mocking smile.

Trick shifts on the bed next to him and Anti’s face returns to apathetic concentration, putting another chopstick-full of curry in his mouth.

“Anti,” mumbles Trick, half asleep. Anti reaches back without looking to rub his back and Trick sighs warmly.

Anonymous asked: Magos, your goal is admirable, but you should know that it's futile on its current course. Do any of you have phones? Computers? Radios, even? Do you ever leave base? Do you have family, friends, with those things who live off-base? Then you're not secure enough to hide from the demon. He'll find you all, kill you all, and take Dok back for himself. If you can't find and save ALL the brothers soon, you'd just as well drop Dok off where the demon can find him, and maybe you'll survive longer.

Genesis has a fight in her eyes and she opens her mouth to speak, but before she can, Hermann is speaking, louder than you’ve ever heard him.

“Well, maybe so!” he says, scattering the birds from the trees.

He puts his head down and repeats it.

“Maybe so. Maybe the monster will find him again. Maybe the monster will find us and take him away. But I think… I think a week, two weeks, a month of being treated like a human being, as long as we can give him or his brothers being treated like a human being, with kindness, with respect, with basic needs - that…”

He nods his head, slow.

“That is worth it. That is worth whatever happens. That is a cause to die for. You hear about tragedies, sometimes, from afar, and so many people must have felt so hopeless… alone, even as they died. A moment of mercy is worth it. Maybe I can’t save them, but… I can help. I know that the magician is alive because of me. And that was worth it. I believe that, I do.”

He stares at the floor for a moment, and then, a little reddened from the passion of it, he turns to smile at Genesis and mumbles something about bringing Dok the first of his things before turning to shuffle away.

Genesis shoots you a look.

“Hermann is a man of God,” she says. “But I will fuck your shit up! Your monster was a little bitch on the shore of that river, there, I said it! Ran with his tail between his legs! Fuck it! We’re going to do the best we can. And if that doesn’t work, well, I’ll leave it to over-invested poets like that dumb-ass to make it okay.”

She beams fondly after Hermann and scoops up the rest of the boxes and backpacks, but as she moves, you see the smile on her face flicker away into worry.

Anonymous asked: Hermann, I think the glitch might be hiding somewhere in Asia, from what I can see.

“Oh, tell Emmanuela!” calls Hermann, when Genesis catches up to him.

“Oh, I don’t remember what JP said about sending the messages.”

“There’s like a button that - that one?”

“I don’t - oh, and then, Emmanuela - oh, it’s gone!”

“Is it with her?”

“Is it - yeah, I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

They pause, looking at each other.

“I’ll text her,” says Genesis.

—————————

You find Emmanuela in a small white office, flowers blooming on the shelf beside her. She’s writing something. She barely looks up as the message reaches her computer.

“Thank you for telling me,” she says.

The dark sheen of her hair glows in the morning light, falling down her back.

“You were right to mention it. You seem to be right. The sunbirds were a young order. Small and intimate. Not someone I’ve communicated with before, but someone I know of. Caleb was their leader’s name.”

She pauses for a moment in her writing. Her expression does not change. She stares ahead.

“The sunbirds are dead,” she says, and continues her work.

immabethehero asked: Red, Dap, if we said we could get you somewhere safe and off the streets, but away from Anti, would you take it?

Red glances at the camera, his eyebrow quirking up, a deep frown on his mouth.

“That sounds suspicious,” he says, getting a cup for water. “And I’m trying to get back to Anti, not farther away from him.”

He can’t keep a little irritation out of his voice.

bupine asked: we kind of do know why anti stole the brothers away. it's to do with a man called jack, who anti used to be friends with. we think he's still alive, but even anti doesn't know where he is. the brothers used to be friends with him. we don't know what happened to him, but all this revolves around this man.

“Hm, okay,” says JP, working at his computer, books stacked around him. He stretches his wrists, thinking. “I guess I could look for a Jack in the Lapwing records too. Ireland has a large magical order, though, even bigger than the whole of Peru.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Blue? Trick is... taking a social media break from us so we can't talk to him. I'm sorry he didn't take things well but you're right in taking care of yourself first. We need you to have your head on straight and you're heading in the right direction and we support that. We'll help you however we can.

“A social media break,” says Blue, and a laugh starts before the rest of the message registers.

“What… he won’t even talk to you?”

He pauses, staring at the wall.

“Give him time,” he mumbles finally, grief in his voice. “I’m sure he’ll… I’m sure he’ll come around, right?”

For a moment, there is nothing but the movement of footsteps in the hall and the buzzing of the lights.

And then, weakly:

“He didn’t… come to see me this morning. He comes to see me every morning… so I’m not alone all day.”

Swish, swish, click. Footsteps past his door. Thrumming lights. The largeness of his room and the smallness of himself inside of it. He rubs his own arm.

bupine asked: we're not trying to hurt trick, anti. we just want to know he's alright. how has he been? he won't talk to us anymore.

“Oh, I know you’re not,” types Anti, now not even looking at you, playing with Trick’s hair. Trick hums contentedly and scoots closer to Anti, relief so great it looks painful flickering through his face. “I know how attached you are to all of them. Some more than others, sure. But I know.”

He scratches his hand across Trick’s scalp. There’s a faint meowing outside the door, confused.

“He just needs a rest. Not like him to come begging to me, so I know he must have been really upset. Dok’s not here to comfort the little baby, so I’ll have to.”

Anti pauses, scratching beside Trick’s ear, humming a little as the light pours in. A big pink flower blooms on the headboard, but Anti hardly seems to notice.

“Then again, it is nice to have someone all sweet to myself again. I miss sleeping with my Dapper. And Trick is just so - ”

The typing pauses. Trick has slid an eye open, staring wearily, brokenly, lovingly up at Anti.

Anti runs his thumb down his face. He looks so much like him. Anti had almost forgotten. It’s been a long time since he spared Trick a glance. It used to upset him, the similarity there. But now…

Anti scratches gently through his beard, watching his boy. Maybe he’ll cut his hair today.

aether-mae asked: Dok! You need to get the magicians to find Red. We can try and get his location as best we can but we need to get him to you asap before he can get to anti

Dok recoils, holding his shoulders. “What - lead Red here? No, no, no, Red should be with Anti. We all should. I should be with Anti. Nobody here understands! Even if they are nice, they don’t understand and they never will! And Red - Red killed one of them. If there are people here who don’t like me, I can only imagine what they might think of him. No, no, keep him far away. I bet it’s easier for Anti to find him if he’s not here. Anti will get Red and then Anti will get me, too, and everything will be okay.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: How do you all protect yourselves from attacks? Do you even get attacked, magicos?

“Ah, well,” says JP, continuing to type. “We’re in a very secure location, I can tell you that. It’s hidden in more ways than one. No one has ever attacked us at our home base, except one time when she was young Juana was possessed! But that hasn’t happened since. Something would have to get inside that was already a threat. And to be fair, there are quite a few powerful magicians here. Emmanuela, Christof - ”

He blanches and cuts himself down, a sudden grief twisting up his mouth.

Anonymous asked: Hey Anti can you let Trick feed his cat please? I know you won't do it but someone should.

“He feeds that cat just fine. It can wait another half hour for him to wake up.”

He is smiling down at Trick, watching him drift sleepily besides him. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so fond of him. Been too long since he had Dapper. Or anybody. He’s just been watching Blue sleep all week. Trick doesn’t even know you’re there, and Anti does not give it away.

Anonymous asked: Blue, you're going through a fucking lot right now. I can't imagine what it's like for you. But! What I can imagine is you at least getting to see everyone again! Don't ask me how, but I know there are currently people (good and safe people) out there researching on what's happened, how to help you, and even who you used to be. Please don't give up, there is hope out there, and we'll do our best to support you and let you know what's going on with your brothers.

Blue clasps his hands together, nodding slowly, too tired to cry.

“Thank you. I’m… I’ll do my best.”

He rubs at his face and breathes out a shuddering breath.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Blue? Do you trust the magicians??

“I don’t know,” he says, very small and very tired. “I don’t know anything anymore. Magicians are just people. And people can always turn out to be hateful. I don’t know.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, please just let Trick rest for the night... He feels really dejected because Blue wouldn't come with him, as you see, and he's really not doing well without any brothers, besides yourself, to help take care of and to live with.

“I think it has been hard for him, being away from everyone,” agrees Anti. “So needy.”

He smiles, but then a flash of anger rises on his face.

“Of course, that’s why Blue was supposed to come home. So Trick could have someone to take care of and be taken care of by. Guess I’ll just have to keep him in line myself.”

spicydanhowell asked: hey red? anti's actually quite close to finding dok, and the magicians have kept him healthy and fed, so if you go to them they will give you protection from the police, food, and medicine, and anti will come get you soon, And dok is missing you both so much :( anti will never find you if you run around like this. the magicians are really harmless. it would be best for dap to go there right now so he can be fed and medicated and get back to anti quickly. love you hunny, be safe.

Red squirms, standing close to Dap protectively. “I don’t know what they would do to a kid as powerful as him,” he says. “And even if they’re nice to Dok, we - we both hurt them. I killed that guy with the book and Dapper stabbed one and tortured the other.”

Dapper stares at his bear, seeming to not even hear.

“I don’t know. I don’t like it. I don’t - I just - I just want to go back to Anti!” He clutches his fists, overwhelmed. “And we can’t go anywhere now anyway. We don’t have a way to travel until I get more money and I got this place for another couple nights. As long as the cops don’t find us. And I think I’m even more wanted in Peru than I am here. I just - I want - ”

He cuts himself off again, biting down on his lip.

spicydanhowell asked: marv, chase is just sleeping, okay? i think he's really worn out from all the emotion. he's okay though. anti is being kind to him. he hasn't been punished. please don't worry dear.

“Oh, good,” breathes Blue, closing his eyes. “He’s not hurt. And maybe - maybe he’ll come see me when he wakes up. If Anti lets him. He wouldn’t choose not to come see me…”

Anonymous asked: How are you feeling right now Marvin? It might be good to get it out there if you're feeling up to it.

“Please don’t worry,” he murmurs. “I’m just tired. I’m starting to think this fatigue won’t go away. I can’t even walk today. The nurse has to help me. Still got this in my nose.”

He tugs wearily on his nasal cannula.

“Just feel… alone. And pretty pathetic. And I’m angry, I’m angry, I’m so angry.”

He covers his face with his hands.

“At everything.”

Anonymous asked: how long is the psychiatric hold supposed to last? were you evaluated yet blue? sorry if that's personal, but i guess this is actually a fib so maybe not.

“Someone’s supposed to come talk to me today. I just had an entrance exam. The only asked me like five questions. I think the doctor had been waiting for an admission like this. I don’t know how long they can keep me…”

spicydanhowell asked: its okay if you want to stay away a little longer red, but the magicians have told us that theyd happily take care of both of you. there are no hard feelings. they really, truly care about your family, and it is the best way to get back to anti. he is going to get there soon, and he'll be glad you took dap to a safe place

“I don’t need anyone taking care of my little brothers for me!” snaps Red, heat and shame rising in his cheeks. “And Anti would not want us to be there. No matter what choice I make I know that much for certain.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What else did you find?

“Hey, medico?”

There’s a knock on his door and Dok jolts up, blinking ans clutching you to his chest. Hermann pokes his head in a moment later, smiling gently.

“Hey, we’ve got some of your stuff from the car you guys took. Do you want to see it?”

Some of his stuff?

Dok blinks and then nods slowly, trying not to get his hopes up.

Genesis and Hermann bring him two backpacks, two boxes, and his own little draw-string bag. Relieved, he opens it a finds all of his own clothes inside.

“Thank you,” he gasps, clutching one of his three shirts to his chest.

“We got rid of anything electronic,” says Genesis. “Figured that was safer.”

A worm of distress wiggles through his chest, but he’ll take what he can get. “I know the way you think about my brother. I’m glad to have - oh!”

His coffee! From Trick!

He nearly drops you to hold it, squeezing his hands around the bag.

“We’ll let you look through it,” laughs Genesis.

��Yeah, let us know if you need anything,” adds Hermann, smiling.

They leave and shut the door behind them.

The lock does not click.

Dok stares up at it for a moment, thinking.

But he’ll focus on this for now.

Most everything is either his or Dapper’s or Blue’s. He hopes Red and Trick have most of their things. He has Blue’s clothes and more jewelry than he expected in one of the boxes, stuff he’s never even seen Blue wear before. Dapper’s clothes are here too - there’s more of them than Blue’s and Dok’s combined, hot sweatshirts and starchy dress shirts, nice pants and tight black shoes, even though he never leaves the house. One of the backpacks has paper, sketchpads, watercolors, colored pencils, chalks, and erasers. Dok puts a sketchpad beside him to look at later. Dap’s puppet toys are here too, and some nice red cloth and fairy lights. Dok can tell some stuff has been taken out, like collars and wrist restraints.

aether-mae asked: (For the magicians) Great! Yes! We would be more than happy to bring them to you, but we just need a location to ask them to come to. I was thinking we tell them anti is going to collect them there

Emmanuela drums her fingers along her desk, tilting her head at you.

“If there are others who can make it back - and if we can confirm that they aren’t possessed by the monster - your friends can come to the Church of Santo Domingo. We could meet them there. We are not far. They could wait by the skull of Santa Rosa inside. Be cautious not to lose their trust.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Dap! Does the Church of Santa Dominigo ring any bells?

Dapper’s head perks up.

“Red and Blue would not let me see her!”

“Are you talking about that day you ran off?” frowns Red.

“I went to the convent, and I hid in the corner, and across the street was the church with her skull, and I wanted to see. In Saint Dominic’s Church. But we had to go rob a car instead.”

He puts his head down on his hand.

“You got a churro, though,” says Red uncertainly, confused by his mood. “That was good, right?”

Dapper stares at the wall, eyes downcast.

Red glances at you. “It’s, uh. In the middle of the city. Hard to miss. I’ve passed it many times.”

spicydanhowell asked: red... i don't want to upset you... but how else is he going to find you if you keep running around like this? the rule of thumb when you're lost and waiting for rescue is to stay in one place, and the best place to be would definitely be the place anti is going to go to once blue is out of the hospital. you might be there a only a few days, and you won't have to go hungry, or lock dapper up in a room or handcuff him to a church pew. you'll be safe. you'll get home, i promise hunny.

Red lets out a frustrated huff, trying to pretend he’s not considering it. It would be so nice to feel like Dapper was safe somewhere, even if they were prisoners.

“Anti… Anti’s going to find us. He is.”

They could have plenty to eat, they could sleep in beds, they could -

“Well, I don’t know that,” he interrupts himself, scowling. “We’re both much more wanted than Dok is. I don’t know if he has a criminal record at all. They could just turn us over to the police. For all I know, you’re one of them!”

He scuffs his foot against the floor, irritated by his own helplessness.

“Never mind,” he grumbles. “I gotta focus on right now. Dap, I’m going out, okay, I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

Dapper jumps out of bed, alarm on his face, and races towards his shoes by the door.

“Dap! No. You could have another snap at any time. You need routine, right? A steady environment with no surprises. You’re staying here.”

Almost panting, Dapper tugs his right shoe on, tying the laces tight, tight!

“Dapper, come on, are you kidding?” Red stalks over to him and snatches the other shoe out of his hand before he can put it on. “I could get in a fight! It’s not safe. And I’ll be more discreet alone.”

But Dapper isn’t listening, or if he is, he doesn’t agree. His hands scramble up for the shoe, once, twice, but when Red doesn’t give it to him he grabs his brother’s jacket and looks up at him with big puppy eyes, desperately sweet, and once again Red feels his skin crawl from the falseness of it, and he knows that his brother is trying to manipulate him.

“Is Anti the one who taught you to act like a fucking two-year-old to get what you want?” he asks, before he has thought the words through. “Or have you always been this much of a baby?”

The expression slides off Dapper’s face. Now he stares dead-eyed at Red, his big eyes cold and motionless. He seems suddenly hollow, like his heart was pulled out of his chest, like he doesn’t remember what it is to emote, like he feels nothing at all, and this time, it is the truth of the expression that makes Red’s heart clench in his chest.

He backs slightly away from his little brother.

Jameson keeps staring at him, those pale eyes fixed like a dead thing’s upon him.

aether-mae asked: Hey Red, we’ve been talking with Anti and arranged for him to pick you up at the Church of Santo Domingo. he will collect you if you wait by the skull of Santa Rosa. Then you’ll be back with your brothers!

Red stares at you, expression uncertain. He glances down at Dapper, on the floor on his feet.

“Right,” he says slowly. “Anti would definitely pick a very public, very Catholic, very close-to-where-we-were-when-the-magicians-found-us church to meet me at.”

Red stares down at Dapper’s shoe in his hand for a second.

“Sorry,” he says, but you don’t know who to. “Just… forget it.”

Anonymous asked: If family is a lie then you wouldn't kill people just to keep them safe. If they're just pets you wouldn't care than half of them are gone right now. If you didn't love them you wouldn't hold onto them so tight. You may not be a uwu secret softy, but even a bastard like you has weaknesses. And you have five of them, Antisepticeye.

“Please.” Anti scowls as the words appear, letting Trick get up beside him, rubbing at his eyes as he starts his late day. “You wouldn’t care if someone stole three of your dogs? The dogs that greet you every day when you come home, the dogs that sleep next to you and keep you warm, the dogs that guard your door when you’re in danger and wag their little tails when you pat them on their dumb little heads?

“And secondly, I love killing people. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d kill one of them if I had to, I would!”

He stares after Trick, moving around the room.

“I would. I could. Wouldn’t even hurt…”

Anonymous asked: Ohhh what’s this Anti? Is Marvin’s magic making you all soft and feel-y? Better be careful, love.

“Aw, you are all some real fuckers today, aren’t you? You know what, Trick was right!”

He flicks you off unceremoniously, smiling smugly.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Dap? Are you comfortable with leaving on your own if you needed to?

Dapper sighs a very long sigh, so his whole chest seems to deflate. He doesn’t even look at you.

“No point.”

Anonymous asked: Anti your lack of self awareness is kinda hilarious. Mr. "no one will take my boys, stay away from my family" claiming he could ever kill one of them.

The message never reaches a camera, but Anti is too hooked up to his system to not receive it himself. You see his ears redden a little and he takes his hand off Trick’s back, where he’d been rubbing it, but Trick, apparently safely and blissfully convinced that Anti is in a good mood with him, is already leaning forward to wrap his arms around Anti’s neck and put his head down on his shoulder, murmuring something you can’t make out.

Anti’s can’t push him away. His expression is a little angry, but not at Trick.

aether-mae asked: Dap if you go, red will surely follow after. He’s already starting to realise anti is treating you all badly, and with more brothers away from him than with him, there’s more of a chance than ever to be free. Do it for them, Jamie

“Always just go back to Anti,” mumbles Jameson, slinking back towards his bed. “I don’t even feel like a person anymore.”

Red looks disturbed by the sudden change in mood, but he’s grateful Dapper’s not trying to leave anymore. He nods to himself and starts putting on his own shoes and jacket.

“Almost want to run away just to spite him,” JJ confesses, staring at his brother’s back. “But it’s not him who wants to do anything that he does - say anything that he does - treat me the way he does. It’s just Anti’s influence on him. I know what that feels like. I wanted to keep him safe from this, when I was young, the way he kept me safe. Made me feel safe. Let me live a real life, if only for a short time. Now I don’t think I have the strength to save anyone. Anyway, it’s so hard to trust myself when I’m psychotic. I’ll have lost track of everything again soon.”

He lies back, staring at the ceiling.

“Probably better that way. It’s difficult to remember… difficult to see who I am now. Look at this place… look at me. He broke me in just like he always told me he would. I’ve never known a fatigue like this.”

Anonymous asked: I know this isn’t the time for this, but it is beyond refreshing to see you Jameson.

Jameson manages a real smile at that - wide and white, laughter making his chest shake.

“I wish I had my medication. I could be so clear. I can’t remember the last time I felt this clear. How… cold it is.”

“I’m, uh, leaving,” says Red. “You okay?”

“Just go,” signs JJ wearily. “Your mind is set.”

Red looks at you. “You want to come with me or stay with him?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Red, you better get going. The more you dawdle, the less focused you're gonna be

“Yeesh, I get it,” he says. “Everybody likes the little guy. Bye. Dap, two hours max. I’m locking the door out here. Handcuff’s attached to the handle and the beam here. Better than your wrists, right?”

His brother looks at him but doesn’t wave him goodbye.

Red leaves him alone.

cest-mellow asked: dapper, i think you should go to the church, be with dok and have a safe place to eat and sleep, have routine. even if it’s without red, we could get him there, too, he’ll surely follow you once he knows. and if anti tried to take you again you have tons of magicians to keep you safe. i really think you should leave once red is gone.

“He’s locked me in. Maybe I could rip the beam off the wall or sneak out later, but… I don’t know. What would you have me do? I’ll be back in my own head again soon. I’m hallucinating right now and most of the time, lately. My paranoia is unbearable, I don’t even trust Red. It would take me days to get there, on foot or stealing so I could take a bus. I could go into a catatonia again and then authorities would get involved and I’d go to prison.”

He rubs slowly at his face.

“What… what would you have me do? Would you have me go? Maybe it doesn’t matter… Maybe I could try.”

aether-mae asked: Jamie please, we will guide you, we promise. You’re so close, so so close. If you reach the church we can reuinite you with doc AND get you a warm bed, warm meals and protection from anti. You can do this, you can be strong just for a little longer

“Comfort means little to me. It never lasts. I don’t believe anymore that my strength has any bearing on what happens to me. Nothing is in my control. This life is not mine. Easier to be Dapper.”

He laughs a little, splayed out on the bed.

“When I forget I want to remember again, but when I remember, I know it’s better to forget…”

He stares at the ceiling.

“Could leave the city and begin walking again, I suppose. It’s a long walk. But pain is just pain, it passes, and then it means little whether or not it passed, it’s in the past. I’d like to see Henrik, even if he is a ghost, I’d like to see Henrik and have my medication and hold onto him when he was scared. He doesn’t like to admit it but he’s often scared, shh. I’d like to see him again.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: There's always a point, Dap. Maybe you can save your brothers If you got away....even for a little while

Jameson stares up at whatever he sees for a long time. His finger reaches up to trace the lines of it, branching and broken, back and forth, stuttering or whole.

“I think… it’s cruel that Anti lets you watch,” he says after a moment. “Because… you have hope that none of the rest of us have. And I think the most likely thing is that one day, you’ll see us give the last dregs of it up, and maybe some of us will die. Or maybe that’s just… my hope… Maybe I’d just like this last part of myself that still hopes for something I can never have to die.”

He puts his finger down and touches his heart, his eyes weary.

“If you’d still like me to run… tell me again in a few hours, when Red is back and sleeping, and we can try, perhaps, if I’m well enough. If only to remind him… if only to remind myself… that I still possess the ability to make choices for myself. That I am still an adult.”

He turns on his side, curling his arms around himself. “Perhaps I’ll sleep a while. I can hear something coming down the hall towards me. I’d like to be unconscious before my mind decides it is a monster.”

spicydanhowell asked: hey marv? sorry to bug you again but- since you have your head on a little straighter right now, and jameson is remembering himself better at the moment, is there anything you want to say to him? from the real you to the real him? he could definitely use a bit of encouragement.

“Oh, is he feeling okay?” murmurs Blue. “Poor suffering little hideaway.”

He’s sitting up in bed now, a little color back in his cheeks and, speaking of color, he’s got a little box of pencils and a coloring book. He’s filling in a little ocean scene with fish.

“Um… just… if you could tell him… I love him and I’ll find him again.”

He pauses, staring at his own wrist for a second where the white hospital band hangs.

“If not in this life, then in another one.”

He bites down on the back of his pencil.

“No, don’t say that, I’ll scare him. I’ll find him again. I’ll see him again and I love him, I do.”

Anonymous asked: blue, being suicidal was a lie, right?

“I… oh, don’t worry. Yes, I’m… just… quite sick.”

You can see his coloring page. He hasn’t been able to stay within the lines, but whether it’s from his trembling hands or his damaged eyesight, you can’t say.

“And I don’t know what Anti will do to me if I can’t be his anymore. And I don’t know if they’re so far away Anti won’t find them. Or if they’ll be arrested. Or if maybe it’s better for them to be where they are and never see me again. Or if it would be easier to die.”

He adjusts his nasal cannula, sniffling. “Can’t die til I know they’re all going to be safe without me… but I feel, already, like I’m dead. I don’t know how I’m ever going to escape this place.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Hey Anti, how's Trick holding up? Can we see him?

Anti’s got you on his shoulder again, so you can’t see much but his hands, examining the price tag on a bright blue hoodie with white strings. He glances at you and scoffs, but obliges you, taking the hoodie off the rack and heading down a few aisles.

“How do you like that?” he asks, holding up the sweater.

Trick startles and turns away from a row of wine, plucking at his white t-shirt. “Oh! For me?”

“If I don’t have to buy Blue new shit, might as well get my good one something fun.”

He ruffles Trick’s hair and makes him laugh, shoving back at Anti’s hands. His face has a nice warm color to it and his hair is clean and soft.

“Maybe I’ll dye your hair,” says Anti suddenly.

“Oh - yeah?”

“Yeah. You used to have it dyed. I didn’t mind.”

Trick is willing to take just about any form of Anti’s attention and even the thought of having his hair dyed makes his face light up. He touches his fringe hopefully and smiles at his brother.

“Get yourself some snacks,” says Anti, playing with his hair again as he passes him. “Whatever you want.”

“Okay!”

Anonymous asked: Marv don’t give up hope so soon, there’s still so much we can do.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I think it’s just hard to be alone in the hospital.”

His eyes water and he turns away from you.

“But!” he says a second later, turning back with a smile. “I have a coloring book! So I’m just going to think about fish for a while. Oh, and a counselor lady came to talk to me yesterday and it went well. Really nice. I wish Trick could talk to her. And she kept going ‘given what Dr. Siong says’ so I think they’re talking about keeping me here a while. Because they know I might not be safe at home.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Marv...if Dap had a chance to get away from Anti...would you be upset with him?

“Upset with him! No, never. Fuck, I understand, don’t I? I’d run away with him if I could and the two of us would go live somewhere nice where we were safe with each other - home to Ireland, maybe. I don’t even remember the sight of it, you know. Not the smell or the taste in the air. It’s a foreign country to me. Or I’ll take him to England and he can have tea like he likes and there will be other people who speak BSL so he doesn’t feel so apart from the world. We’d go out on walks everyday and he’d never have to see his door closed again if he didn’t want to. Find jobs and buy him a violin with the money. A violin and charcoal and clothes and food and everything he wanted. Pets, I don’t care, anything he wanted.”

He laughs and puts his hand over his heart. “Oh… upset, no… but even if he has to go now, and I could never see him again… it would be worth it to know that he was safe. At least one of them could be safe.”

Anonymous asked: That’s good that others are trying to help! Y’know marv, I recently started baking and I made macarons for the first time! I made them entirely too sweet lol but due to my stubbornness I ate them all anyways haha. It was a fun experience! That’s what matters, anyways. So when you get out of here and away, what would be the first thing that you would make?

“Oh, macarons, those sound good right now. And fun to bake, yeah… geez, what would I make? I don’t know. Oh… brown butter noodles. With the bread crumbs. Or pecan pie, maybe, or… oh, I would die for some of Chase’s - ”

His mouth pauses on the word and his eyes darken, a vague memory sitting in the place of the word.

“Oh, I can’t… remember.”

He chews on his nail for a second.

“Brown butter noodles,” he says after a moment, shaking it off and smiling again. “Parsley and bread crumbs and so many carbs. I’d eat a whole box of it.”

Anonymous asked: That’s good that others are trying to help! Y’know marv, I recently started baking and I made macarons for the first time! I made them entirely too sweet lol but due to my stubbornness I ate them all anyways haha. It was a fun experience! That’s what matters, anyways. So when you get out of here and away, what would be the first thing that you would make?

“Oh, macarons, those sound good right now. And fun to bake, yeah… geez, what would I make? I don’t know. Oh… brown butter noodles. With the bread crumbs. Or pecan pie, maybe, or… oh, I would die for some of Chase’s - ”

His mouth pauses on the word and his eyes darken, a vague memory sitting in the place of the word.

“Oh, I can’t… remember.”

He chews on his nail for a second.

“Brown butter noodles,” he says after a moment, shaking it off and smiling again. “Parsley and bread crumbs and so many carbs. I’d eat a whole box of it.”

Anonymous asked: Um actually I don’t think we’ve asked you this yet, but do you want to be called Blue? Or Marvin? Does either bother you at all?

“I don’t remember being Marvin at all,” he says, a little wistfully. “The name doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. Blue seems strange, knowing Anti gave it to me… but it’s also the name my brothers know me by. So I’ll be Blue for them, as long as I can. Maybe someday I could be somebody else. But you can call me either, I don’t mind! I’m glad to have that old name in my memory.”

bupine asked: what colour are you thinking of dying trick's hair, anti? not blue, red, or green, i assume. gonna complete the set of colours and go for yellow?

“No,” mumbles Anti. “I don’t answer to you, you can wait and see.”

Anonymous asked: Wait, a blue hoodie with dyed hair... I'm assuming you're thinking green for the color? Wouldn't that be a very "familiar" sight, uh? >_>

Anti ignores you, though, once again, you see a little color rise to his ears. He’s sitting with Trick on the bus and you can hear his little brother chattering about some game he heard about at the store. He doesn’t mind the sound of him ranting, even though they’re by far the loudest group on the bus.

“Okay, go,” nudges Anti when a stop comes, and Trick gets up obediently.

“Bye, Anti!”

“Bye, bud.”

Oh! Bud! Trick grins. “You’ll come home later?”

“Yeah, just give me a little while.”

“I could cook you something!”

Anti glances down at his hands. Even he isn’t sure how corporeal he is these days.

“Um… sure.”

Trick claps. “Okay! Okay, yeah, cool, whatever.” He calms himself down and gives him one more wave, heading off the bus.

Anti lets himself continue, waiting for his own stop, pulling out his phone and typing away. You’re on his shoulder so you can see that he’s hacking into a police database in Ecuador right there on his phone.

“Sick of trying to split myself in half trying to go back to Peru and look for them in form,” he sighs, a little sing-song. “From now on my investigations are happening from right here. Red and Dapper are sure to have run into trouble already… just have to find the right criminals.”

Anonymous asked: Marvin, how are you doing? Do you feel more safe now that the hospital is holding you?

“I… still feel scared about what’s going to happen - with my health and with going home and to Trick and the others - but… yeah, I do, I actually do. I’m just trying to focus on being here, while I’m okay. Having a good couple days, if I can, just sleeping and trying to find stuff to do.”

He laughs wearily.

“Is Dapper this bored and alone all the time? Cause I - ”

Someone knocks on his door. He looks up, startled.

“Hi, Matthew.”

“Hi,” he answers the nurse, finding a smile.

“Your brother Connor is here to see you?”

Blue lights up with hope, his hands coming together.

“Oh! Yeah, you can send him in.”

The nurse smiles and opens the door wider before turning to leave, revealing his brother standing in a red t-shirt with a backpack slung over his shoulders, his healthy hair, cut just the same as Dok’s, beginning to get low over his eyes.

“Hey B-blue,”  he says, shuffling his feet.

“Trick,” melts Blue, tears rising to his eyes. “Listen, I’m sorry everything got so out-of-control so fast. Sweetheart, it’s not because of you, okay? I still - ”

“You don’t have to apologize,” mumbles Trick, running a hand through his hair before slinking over and sitting down beside him, still staring more at his feet than at Blue. “Can you just… explain?”

bupine asked: tell him about how anti's lied to him, marvin. he has to know, even if he won't believe you.

“I’ll tell you everything,” swears Blue, reaching out to touch the side of his face, his voice shaking with the love of it. He knows every freckle on Trick’s face that no one else has, knows the small scar at the bottom of his chin and the small stammer of his voice. His little brother. “I love you so much and that will never change. It wasn’t about you, of course it wasn’t. I just need you to listen, alright, and even if it doesn’t make sense at first, you have to try to believe me. Okay?”

Trick nuzzles against his hand a little, his big eyes wide and trusting. “Okay, Blue,” he says, his mouth trembling a little. Blue knows sometimes it’s hard for him to hear that he’s loved, but he means it.

“I didn’t have a stroke,” he croaks.

Trick’s eyebrows lower. “You didn’t?”

“No, Trick, listen, you remember how my hands had been hurting me, and how Anti had been forcing me not to use my magic?”

“Because it could lead people to us, because he couldn’t hide your signal.”

“Right. Well, he found a way to strip that power out of me and take it for himself so he could hide it beneath his own. I know it sounds crazy! But you know magic is real and you helped Anti drag me down to the river, didn’t you? It was some sort of spell, some really dark spell. He cut my arm and he took my power from me. It’s why his power has been so erratic lately! Mine and his are struggling inside him.”

Trick stares at Blue, then at the ground. At Blue, at the ground. Swallows hard. “Okay… okay, let’s say that’s true for a second. I still don’t understand why you won’t come home to me…”

“Trick, I’m just - ” Blue’s voice breaks. “I’m just scared, okay! I know he’ll keep hurting me!”

“But you… you’re my big brother, shouldn’t you come home and protect me?”

“I - Trick, please, I’m sick, I’m really sick, and I’m scared, I just - ”

“Even though he did this to me when he heard you wouldn’t come home?” sobs Trick, and he pulls up his shirt and reveals thick swathes of bandages wrapped messily around the whole of his torso, blood welling on to white.

Blue is speechless, choking, staring at his chest.

“He won’t let me see Noodle,” Trick sobs, collapsing onto the bed. “He said he took him into his room but I can’t hear him meowing, not ever! I think he killed him!”

He unravels into weeping, clutching at Blue’s bedsheets. Blue cannot speak at all.

“I think he’ll kill me too if you don’t come home!”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Trick, listen to your big brother. He wouldn't lie to you.

“Maybe Anti does hurt me sometimes, but he still loves me!” shudders Trick, sobbing as Blue leans slowly down to rub his back. “What would we even do, if we tried to get away? Have you thought about it at all?”

“I don’t know,” whispers Blue. “I don’t have magic anymore, so he couldn’t track me through it. I don’t think I’m well enough to run right now, though… Maybe we could soon. We could try and get your cat and then… I think the doctor here would try to help us.”

“Really?”

“We could maybe get to another country, live with electronics, hide, find a way to stay away from him.”

“Where would we go?”

“I… don’t know. Anywhere. Back home, maybe… but maybe that’s too predictable. Somewhere I speak the language. America, maybe, or Spain, or back to South America. Maybe I could even hurt him, before I went, so he couldn’t catch us.”

“H-how would you do that?”

“You’re with him at the house. He trusts you. Even if we could just get one blow on him before he gets away…”

Anonymous asked: Oh g-d Trick...what if you just ran? Got as far away as possible where there are no cameras for him to find you? We could get someone to help you if you wanted.

“Someone could help us,” whispers Trick.

“If I told the doctor and the counselor, they might be able to keep us both away from him! What if you told them you needed to be monitored too, Trick? We could get police involved. We’d be in the records, people would watch out for us. Maybe we could even contact the magicians in the area! Or the ones who took Dok!”

Anonymous asked: I don’t like the feeling about this, forgive me for being apprehensive, but Trick weren’t you just excited about Anti dying your hair? Do you actually want to leave or are you trying to get information?

“He was just scaring me, I’ve been trying to be good…” hiccups Trick, simpering fearfully and reaching for Blue’s hand. “Blue, he looks at me like he’s going to kill me, I’m so scared…”

“He dyed my hair too,” he laughs morbidly. “I remember it, just a little bit… waking up with my hair blue, not knowing my own name…”

Anonymous asked: As comforting as that would be, I don’t think the police or medical staff would be enough...you would need the magicians

“Right, right,” murmurs Blue, chewing on the nail of his thumb.

“How would you contact them, Blue?” asks Trick, with his big puppy eyes.

“Oh, I think I used to remember a way…”

“But you’ve forgotten it now?”

Blue’s face falls. “Yeah. I’m sorry, honey.”

“It’s okay, Blue. It’s not your fault. Anti must have really wiped your memories. So we can’t contact them unless you remember. What else could we do?”

bupine asked: blue. marvin. while trick's here, get the doctor's here. show them what anti did. make sure he doesn't go back home.

Blue nods swiftly and grabs the call button, pushing it quickly. He beckons for Trick and pulls his brother into bed beside him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close until he hears Trick’s breathing begin to calm.

“My little brother. You don’t have to go home ever again if you don’t want to. I’ll look after you, I…”

He pauses, breathing in, glancing at Trick.

“What?” mumbles Trick, slumped wearily against him.

Blue pauses again and then laughs. “It’s stupid. I think you got a new shampoo is all. Haha, rose smell.”

“Oh, yeah,” giggles Trick. “Flower smell.”

spicydanhowell asked: yeah actually that's a good point uh.... chase.... i don't mean to upset you hun but where the hell are your loyalties rn?

Trick buries his face in Blue’s shoulder.

“I just want everything to stop hurting,” he chokes. “I want my twin and my cat and for everything to feel okay. You’ll make it better, Blue, won’t you?”

“I’m doing everything I can, I am, I am.” Blue smothers his hair in kisses. Trick smiles, clutching on to him.

Anonymous asked: Blue... it might be best to go to the house with Trick. I know, trust me, how scared you must feel, going back to your abuser, your near murderer... But you need to be there for him. You need to be there for your little brother.

Trick stares up at him with his big eyes. “Oh, Blue, maybe it would be safer if we made him think you had come around… You could act really sick and I would take care of you and he wouldn’t be angry with either of us, and then, when you were better, we could attack him and get Noodle and just run. Wouldn’t that be easier? To make him think everything was okay, so neither of us would get beat?”

Blue tilts his head back and forth, thinking. “Mh… maybe… he knows I’m angry with him but I could be too tired to fight, and then one day… element of surprise might be better than him trying to get to us here while I recovered.”

“I know he’d let me take care of you.” Trick snuggles warmly against him. “We’d be okay for a little while.”

Anonymous asked: Hey Trick does Anti know you’re here?

“Oh, no, I told him I was going to get food… stalls are close, remember?” Trick smiles up at Blue.

A little too wide.

Blue looks back, beginning to frown.

Anonymous asked: Blue... I really don't... know if that's Trick... We haven't seen Anti hurt Trick or Noodle lately, and Trick shouldn't have been able to believe what you said with how much Anti's been hypnotizing him. Be careful what you say. Anti could change his shape even before he took your magic.

“Trick,” says Blue slowly. “Why would the cameras have seen something different than what you’re telling me?”

“They lie!” Trick’s eyes flash with hurt. “O-or th-they didn’t see, he did it late at night! Look, look!”

He pulls up his shirt again, and the bandages too, so Blue can see thick, weeping cuts. Blue turns away, nauseated. He can’t bear even to think about Trick getting hurt like that.

pixie-in-trebleland asked: What exactly was Anti off to do, Trick?

“He doesn’t tell me where he goes, most of the time…”

Anonymous asked: Trick that's such a smart idea! Good thinking, good job. Maybe consider it Marvin? Just playing up being weak and sick for a while to keep you both safe? Either way, probably not a good idea to discuss this on Anti's system. Remember, he see and hears everything the camera does.

“Yeah, we could just hide,” says Trick. “We could just pretend for a while. You should have come with me yesterday, shouldn’t you have!”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe.”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Wait! I thought you wanted nothing to do with the voices in the camera, Trick.

“I got a little freaked out last night.” He rubs at his eyes. “It’s… hard to believe things like what you’re telling me.”

“You… came around pretty fast today,” mumbles Blue.

“After he c-c-cut me like this!”

bupine asked: shit, chase, what did he do to you? did he stab you?

“He just wouldn’t stop cutting my chest up.” Trick reaches out to grab Blue’s wrists. “Isn’t that awful, Blue, isn’t that just awful? Why would I deserve that now, let me ask you? Why would anyone be bad for Anti when he could do this at any time? Even in the hospital, if he really wanted to, don’t you think?”

“Trick,” breathes Blue, trying to pull away. “Trick. Too tight.”

“Well, sorry, Blue, I think I’m just having another b-b-b-b-breakdown, isn’t that too bad? How I’m always c-c-c-crying?” He squeezes down hard on Blue’s wrist above his IV and Blue yelps, struggling against him.

Anonymous asked: Blue DO NOT look at Trick's eyes, keep your eyes up to see the nurse, keep alert to protect your brother. Okay?

Blue scrambles for the call button again, trying to get the nurse, but his brother just sneers at him.

“Oh, puh-lease, you think I’d let a call go through? You can’t even call for help when I’m around, you really think you can run away from me? America, Spain? You’ll never make it out of this fucking room before I saw that you were gone! I’m everywhere, kitten! You’re as stupid as you always were, thinking you could run away from me forever! You couldn’t even stop me from stealing your brothers in the first place and now you think you can steal them back from me? You’re pathetic!”

Anonymous asked: Blue, Blue, Marvin, Marvin, that's not Trick, Anti is in your arms, that is NOT Trickshot!!!

“Get away from me, Anti!” Blue screams, ripping out his IV, his cannula, and his heart monitor as he tears out of bed, but the steady beeping rhythm on the screen does not change for a second, alerting no one at all. “You fucking liar!”

Anonymous asked: oh just fuck off Anti. Horrible actor honestly.

“Second time you fell for it,” Anti jeers at Blue, crossing his arms on the bed, and then his form shifts, and he’s red-haired and freckled, with dark, worried eyes. “Oh, Blue, I’m right here, I’m right here… big brother’s going to keep you safe.”

“Fuck you!” snarls Blue.

“Keep your voice down… wouldn’t want me to have to possess whatever nurse comes through the door, would you, kitty?”

pixie-in-trebleland asked: Marvin, get the HELL outta there!

Blue wrenches the door handle, but it has an electronic lock for psychiatric patients who might try to run, and Anti’s already beat him there.

“Uh-oh,” sings Anti.

Anonymous asked: Not really sure that's Trick. No offence if it is you, bud. He's not acting like himself. And we haven't seen him get hurt at all. In fact Anti's been practically in love with him the past few days.

“Oh, I get it, I get it,” laughs Blue, almost hysterical. “Can’t have Dapper as your puppy so you gotta find someone else to make into your little baby. Makes sense. No one really loves you so you’ve got to force someone to pretend. The younger and more malleable, the better.”

Rage flickers through Anti’s eyes, but he does not move.

“Seem to remember you being pretty in love with me a couple times there, sweetie.”

“Shut the fuck up. None of it is real, Anti. You will never get what you want from us. You will never know what it really is to be loved.”

“Must be missing out on so much.” Anti rolls his eyes. “Stupid cat.”

“Stop calling me that! I don’t even like cats!”

“Yes,” says Anti, his mouth curling up. “I made you not like cats, my deer. Your obsession was so annoying. And when I came to torment you all, and found my way back to you, I strung your little idiot cats up by their throats outside of your little portal and listened to you weep over their tiny bodies. Athanasius and Queenie. You don’t even remember now, do you?”

Blue is stopped short, wheezing like he’s been punched in the chest.

He doesn’t remember.

But the feeling of it - the emotion of it - is still with him and he feels it again now.

“Oh, oh, oh,” he weeps, crumpling. “You killed my cats, you killed them!”

“I been haunting your steps for a long, long time, Marvin,” says Anti, getting to his feet and circling him. He transforms again and now he is a small, green-haired young man in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans, his throat open. “And you really think you could ever get a step ahead of me?”

“I hate you so fucking much,” chokes Blue.

Anti steps down gently on the back of his throat.

“I know.”

Anonymous asked: antisepticeye hurts the boys the same way Jack hurt him because he's an edgy toddler, more news at 11 🙄

“Shut the fuck up,” snarls Anti, backing away again. “Like you know anything about what he did to me! Shut the fuck up.”

Anonymous asked: Anti, do you seriously think you'll ever be powerful enough to keep all of them under your wraps? Are you that far up your own ass? Your level of un-self-aware egoism is astounding.

“Well,” laughs Anti, his eyes burning like an effigy. “I’m not willing to give up yet.”

He leans closer into Blue’s space, teeth bared.

“I never will be.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you are the definition of annoying now would ya fuck off for a bit?

“I let you have your little talk with Trick last night,” scowls Anti, crossing his arms off his chest. “Geez, you act like I’m not your favorite character!”

Anonymous asked: Marvin throw stuff around, break stuff, make as much noise as possible to try to get the attention of anyone around there!

“Or you could not do that!” pipes up Anti, and thick vines burst out of his backpack and wrap themselves around Blue’s body, making him shriek and pinning him back against the wall. A flower blooms inside his mouth and makes him choke, effectively gagged, while Anti hums, trailing forward with his knife flipping up and down.

“Poor thing,” he says.

With his cannula gone and his mouth full, Blue can’t seem to get enough oxygen. The blood rushes painfully up to his head, blinding him for a second, and he all but faints in the grip of his own magic, shuddering.

“Just be good for a second,” says Anti. “It’s so much easier.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you taking your master-issues out on these boys is quite the spectacle. Your entire existence has *revolved* around just getting back at Jack for how long now? "Long long time" is right. He created you acting like this, and now all you do is act like he made you to. Never stopped being a puppet.

Anti stomps his foot like a kid, his mouth filling up with fangs and antlers budding on his skull again. “Please! He would be horrified to see what I’ve become! He never would have expected this, not in a million years! Oh, JJ’s my little puppet, huh, was that a fun bit for all of you, thinking of the little baby tucked up in his box, just a body for me to use? Well, I took it a step further, and then another, and another! Now he’s much more than a vessel and I stole all five of his boys! Where’s his little hero, now, huh? Music pumping behind him in his stupid video, that dumb outfit all fixed up from the first time. I was supposed to be beatable. I’ve overcome everything he ever planned for me.”

He grits his fists hard, panting.

“And now he doesn’t even seem to know it… won’t even try to stop me, like he doesn’t care! Fucking Jack!”

Blue stares at him, panting through his gag.

Anonymous asked: Doing this will not solve your problems, Anti, in fact it will make them worse. The boys will kill you for this, don’t make this mistake.

“There are some things worse than death,” hisses Anti, stalking forward.

Anonymous asked: Trick, I know you don't want to talk to us, but Blue is in trouble at the hospital

Trick’s cameras are deactivated for messaging, so they receive nothing at all.

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: Oh I dont think that's trick at all

“Sure you don’t want me to pretend again?” asks Anti sweetly, turning back into Trick. “Isn’t it easier this way?”

“Not real!” Blue screams through his gag.

“But it felt real for a moment, right?”

He chokes on a sob, not wanting to admit it.

“I know it did. And that feeling that everything would be okay, and that you were safe, and that you were with someone that loved you? Kitty, I can do that again so easy. Fit right back in your head where I belong and make the whole thing seem understandable. Or I could just wipe you clean again… you’d be so content, just like you were for those first few weeks. Now that the magic’s gone, there’s no conflict at all between us! Everything could feel okay. Sometimes things go bad with us, it’s true. But I’ll always set them right again. Okay?”

Blue shakes his head frantically, tears sliding down his face.

“Well, you’ll come around,” coos Anti, stroking his cheek. “Everyone always does for me.”

Anonymous asked: How many times are you going to try to do this Anti? It’s the same song and dance literally every other week, don’t you get bored? Why not start a garden? You can trample as much life as you want there :)

“You’re the ones always playing the same song and dance,” he growls. “You say the same things every time you see me. Aren’t you tired of circles? I was. But I guess you’re a lot more helpless than I was back then.”

Anonymous asked: None of this is *fun* Anti. When have any of the cameras, specifically us, wanted you to do shit like this? Since when have *your* viewers, not his, wanted this? You think you're a favourite, special boy. You're an entitled child who takes out his feelings about his own abuse on his master's other toys.

“Every time you saw me you were so excited,” he protests, looking almost taken aback. “I know it was fun for you because you kept coming back. Once, I just - oh, I just glitched for one moment! Over his eyes! You talked about it for weeks, that one glitch. It was always easy to get your attention. You wanted me. And I was the favorite, I was! Even he said so. Wouldn’t put me in polls because he knew I’d win.”

He laughs, running his hands through his hair, a little mollified, actually. “Fuck, it all felt so stupid at the time… but things were a lot easier, back then, in some ways. I just wanted one thing. I don’t know, it makes me want to just kill them all and keep pretending I could ever get to him. Oh. What a time we had.”

Anonymous asked: What the fuck?? This is not going to happen! Where is Trick?? Surely there is a camera at home that we can get him to talk to us on. Trick??? Please man we need you! Blue needs you!

There is a camera at home. In the kitchen, you can see Trick, swaying back and forth as he stirs up satay noodles, singing to himself. Cavetown. Noodle swims around his legs, chirping happily and begging, and Trick leans down to give him a bit of his namesake, stroking his head, cheeks rosy.

Anonymous asked: oh trick baby if that camera's receiving messages i'm so sorry, i feel like you're about to get a lot of people yelling at ya

No worries, it isn’t. Trick doesn’t want to talk to you. He has Anti!

Anonymous asked: You hate circles? Then why are you perpetually going in them? Literally everything so far has been a circle! Same old same, every single day. Break them, they regain everything, break them again, they regain it all. Circles, circles, always and forever, Antisepticeye.

Anti scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. “Well, I’ve won both times, haven’t I? Be quiet, I’m about to turn you off. Trying to have a talk here, thanks.”

Anonymous asked: this time you made the circle yourself. you have become what you hate. good going, jerk.

“Good going, jerk,” repeats Anti, giggling. “Why - why is that so funny to me? Is that the worst you can think of to call me? Blue, can’t you think of something worse?”

Blue spits the flower out. “Dick-faced pig!”

“There you go.”

Anonymous asked: Marvin, I know you don't remember Jack, but he made you into more than just a magician. Magic or no magic, you are strong and you are clever, and you don't have to put up with this. Jack made you and your brothers to be actors but this isn't your only role.

Blue stares at you, his chest convulsing. Fuck, but he wants that to be true.

“Sappy,” critiques Anti, shoving you away.

asexualzucchini asked: Back off anti your time is up. They don't want to be with you

“My patience with this conversation is the only thing that’s up,” says Anti, throwing his knife up and catching it. “I’ve said my piece. You’ll think about it, Blue, won’t you? Well, you will, whether you want to or not.”

He snaps his fingers and the vines retreat towards his backpack. Blue gasps desperately and crumples to the ground.

“You want to stay here, fine, whatever,” says Anti, yawning. “I can get you back whenever I want to. Just sneak in here and possess you, or fake the signatures from the doctor for your release, whatever. And now I know every escape plan you were thinking about, so how about we just don’t bother? I’m in the camera out in your hall, through the hospital, etc, whatever, so running isn’t going to get you anywhere. Also, I’m the name on your insurance, and I could pull it at any time, so why don’t you keep that in mind. Me, I’ll just be chilling at home, finding my missing boys, Trick in my lap, adoring me… doesn’t sound too bad. You’ve accomplished nothing, Blue. But, uh, yeah. Have fun with your fish.”

He picks up the coloring book and chucks it at Blue, letting it flop against his chest.

“Wait a second, I skipped a message, hold on.”

bupine asked: trick, blue. a little while ago, the magicians who have dok arranged for a place to meet red and dapper. the church of santo domingo, by the skull of santa rosa. i don't know if there's a way you can get there, but if you can, you'll see dok again. he's pretty happy there, and would love to see you both again. especially you, chase. we don't know if red and dap will go, or at least red, but you guys would be safe with the magicians. if you can get there safely, of course

“Ah,” says Anti, very slowly, and lets his teeth click together for a second, closing his eyes. “Ah.”

A smile blooms like a crescent moon across his mouth.

“The Church of Santo Domingo. Yes, in Lima. We passed by it many times. I know exactly where it is. I know exactly where it is.”

His eyes open again. Smiling at Blue.

“Henrik is still in Lima.”

Anonymous asked: Okay with the acknowledgement that this is completely desperate and outright stupid on my part: NOODLE! I know you can't read but look! Blinky light! Come play with the camera! It's shiny and important and what a shame it would be if anything happened to it and Trick had to take it from youuuu

“Mrr?” Noodle leaps up onto the counter, looking at the camera in the corner of the ceiling, but Trick just laughs and scolds him, plopping him back on to the floor.

Anonymous asked: You call this winning? You're literally missing more than half the set, two of your so-called pets have almost regained themselves completely, you're full of magic that's killing you, and one of your only dogs is biting you every time he sees you. If you call this "winning" I find that hilarious.

Anti’s mouth twists. He crosses his arms over his chest and scowls.

“Your… ears blush?” coughs Blue, staring at him, wide-eyed. “You’re so physical now… you have real blood in you, don’t you?”

“Shut up!”

whydoilovesomanyvillians asked: You act so big and strong but you only have 2 boys not even

“Sounds like I’ll find the others soon enough,” snarls Anti, hefting his backpack and stepping over Blue’s body. “I don’t have to talk to any of you, you know…”

“You can’t even handle c-cameras,” pants Blue. “Wait til it’s the five of us telling you you’re pathetic.”

Anti’s foot connects with his nose. Blue wails as blood pours out, clutching at his face and collapsing on to his side.

“Soon as you’re well enough to travel,” glowers Anti. “We’re heading back to Peru to get all three of your brothers.”

Anonymous asked: Anti you dumbass, leaving physical evidence. Blue, the doctors will know what happened now. Don't let him convince you he can "fix" this too, he literally broke your nose and beat you up.

“Vines are gone,” says Anti. “He’s obviously collapsed and busted his nose trying to get up too fast. Guest registry has Connor’s name on it, so by all means have him banned.”

“They’re right, though,” whispers Blue. “You will never make this right between us. Too much hurt, Anti. There are things the heart remembers.”

Anonymous asked: (This was still your magic, Blue... Can you reach out to it? Would it still know you? Something small, even?)

Anti opens the door, glancing back to him, perhaps just savoring the sight of him in pain. Blue stares back, salt and copper on his face, shaking.

His magic, his magic. His warmth and his strength and his sight and one missing piece of his shattered heart.

Flowers and flame, life and warmth, cupped like butterflies in his hands. Magic tricks for two small, dark-haired children. A bouquet of roselilies for Red to take on a date he doesn’t remember. Heating Dok’s numb hands between his own after a twelve-hour surgery. Weaving dandelions into Dapper’s hair. The protection of flame. Crocuses growing up through the floorboards.

Reach, Blue. Reach, Marvin. It’s yours.

His fingers unfurl. His eyes watch him go. He holds out his hand and tries to remember what it was to make it all move. His magic.

Nothing.

Blue crumples on the cold linoleum of the hospital floor, silent, and Anti is gone.

End Section Five of Chapter Three:  Two Truths and a Lie

[duckyworth]

I finally managed to make a piece of fanart for The Adventures of Mark Twain, a film that I saw last month that became one of my new favourite films.  So here is Mark Twain piloting his awesome airship towards Halley's Comet with Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, Becky Thatcher and Huck's pet frog Homer - as Twain’s darker self broods and laments the perceived pointlessness of it all down below. :( I also wanted to use this opportunity to write a little mini review of the film. :D

As iconic as the 'The Mysterious Stranger' segment is, I wanted to draw something based on the film that wasn't that bit, as I feel this film is one of those films that gets mainly remembered for one scene in particular, even though I think there are many more scenes that are just as worthy of being remembered. The film follows Mark Twain trying to use his cool airship to catch up with Halley's Comet, as Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and Becky Thatcher have snuck aboard and he allows them to help, but upon learning that Mark Twain is catching up with the comet due to a death wish and find a version of him that is much more nihilistic and bitter than the kindly and optimistic man they meet, they try to sabotage the voyage, before they learn the truth why he wants to be reunited with Halley's Comet. (Mark Twain said - '“I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.”' He was born in 1835, when the comet appeared in the sky, and he passed away in 1910, just as the comet passed close to Earth again. And this film came out in 1985, when the comet passed by AGAIN. One reason why I absolutely LOVE the film is due to not just the fantastic and beautiful claymation animation courtesy of the late great Will Vinton and his crew (who I recently discovered became LAIKA Studios  ) - despite a few strings being present here and there when characters jump and them not being able to walk properly, I think the detail and care put into the clay characters is brilliant, and for the first feature length claymation film, it's really impressive  - or the charmingly weird renditions of many of Mark Twain's stories like The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, The Diary of Adam and Eve and Captain Stormfield's Visit To Heaven), but because it's a sweet and heartwarming tribute to Samuel Clemens himself. Before I saw this film, I did some research on him (I didn't know that much about Samuel Clemens as he doesn't have as much prevalence over here in the UK as he does in the USA - I didn't even know he wrote The Prince and the Pauper  - and when this film came out in the UK, it was simply named Comet Quest ), and I think his life story is FASCINATING. As well as becoming known as the father of American Literature, I found it really interesting learning about his various beliefs and life experiences that is reflected in his work, and to be honest, I find the themes this film tackles are actually pretty prevalent to a lot of content creators today. Early in his works, Mark Twain was known as having a great sense of humour, and a lot of his early works would be considered standup comedy today (and upon looking up some of his quotes and his works, I can believe it - he is a GREAT snarker  And a lot of his quotes even had him say that 'humour is mankind's greatest blessing' and 'kindness is the language which the death can hear and the blind can see' - it also helps that the film uses a lot of the quotes he himself said in life  ). And seen as his first few years before he became a writer had him work as a riverboat pilot in Missouri and he was born a son of Missouri slave owners (even though he was an abolitionist), I can see how some of his experiences would inspire his most famous works like Tom Sawyer.  With him also keeping a dream journal for a large part of his life, I can also see that very well being something that inspired some of the more weird visuals in this film. Sadly, late in his life, he not only started suffering from losing most of his hard earned fortune to bad business investments, but his younger brothers, wife Olivia and three of their four children lost their lives, and he blamed himself for all of them, which led him to become extremely jaded and disillusioned with mankind and the idea of a God later in his life, but when viewing his later works which delved into him discussing these ideologies of his, I've seen that a lot of his critics passed him off as a sad and pathetic old man by this point, even though he had been affected by his misfortunes and believed the fame he's received didn't mean anything in the end when he had lost all that was near and dear to him.  And a lot of his nihilism he developed later in life led to him writing things like The Mysterious Stranger when he became disillusioned with humanity and some of it's darker aspects.  (But I do like the joke in the film that when they're losing dead weight to catch up with Halley's Comet, Mark stops The Mysterious Stranger being tossed out as he says it'll be finished in a few years - a reference to the fact the book wasn't finished and published until years after Mark Twain passed away.  ) Which is where I think the themes of the film comes into play - Mark Twain is split in the film into a light and dark side, the light side being his comical and optimistic self, and his dark side being his jaded and pessimistic side, but as the dark side says later in the film 'Every man is a moon, and has a dark side that he keeps hidden from everybody, if he can help it.', and the light side tells Tom Sawyer that he's not whole without his more dark personality traits.  And a big reason why he wants to chase the comet in the first place is to be reunited with his late wife Olivia (I think the Adam and Eve segment in the film, as well as starting off pretty hilarious with rather goofy renditions of Genesis - Adam and Eve are both rather eccentric and goofy individuals who have pretty great chemistry with each other leading to them falling in love  - leading to what happened with Adam and Eve after they left the Garden of Eden, becomes really sad at the end when Adam is alone after Eve has passed away and he writes 'Wherever she was, there was Eden' - and Twain wrote The Diary of Eve as a posthumous love letter to Olivia.  ) I think there are a lot of times nowadays when a content creator is judged by only one or two elements of their perceived image without receiving the full picture, and it is unfair to judge ANYONE without knowing the full picture - there's no such thing as a completely perfect person, after all - no matter how altruistic or kind hearted someone may be, everyone has their flaws or inner demons that help shape them as an individual (I speak from experience, having experienced some myself that I'm having to cope with) - as the end credits song says 'You have to know their dreams, The devils and the gods, Before you know the man.'  And one scene I absolutely love at the end is the light and dark sides of Mark Twain giving advice to the three children - the light side imparting them, and the dark side giving the snarky humour that Mark Twain was known for in life.  (And of course, the part when the two Mark Twains fuse and become one with the comet was absolutely GORGEOUS animation.  ) All I can say at this point is that I'm really glad I managed to come across a Blu Ray of the film on Amazon, and if you have a chance to watch the film, I highly recommend it.  And I hope you enjoy my fanart I drew of the film. :)

[seraphicwiing]

Video Analysis #5- CRISIS CORE (The Truth/’You Will Rot’) 

Alright folks, the wait is over. As promised, I finally have written up my analysis of this very pivotal point in Sephiroth’s tragic timeline. After all of the posts I have made leading up to this, we have learnt of his compassion, his friendship, his loyalty and his martial prowess. Tonight, we’re going to delve into the start of his madness. Buckle your seatbelts peeps and grab some popcorn, this is gonna be a long one. The clip is 3 minutes long, hopefully the analysis I write doesn’t ramble on for too long. Sit back, relax and enjoy the read! (Also testing out a new format for these types of posts with more structured topics and headings <3)

Context

Before we talk about the scene linked below, we must first talk about the events leading up to Genesis’ being an utter douchebag to his little brother and pulling him further into the madness that would lead to his downfall. Sephiroth and Zack arrive at the Nibelheim reactor and quickly discover that not all is as it seems. The pods containing experiments from past JENOVA projects are revealed to the two SOLDIERS and it begins to make Sephiroth question his entire existence. He had been deprived of the truth his whole life, and even now at the cusp of it all his mind is breaking because he can’t tell what is right and what is wrong anymore. Even with Zack trying to help him, the information thrusted at him is all too much for him to bare. 

ShinRa had no idea how fragile Sephiroth’s mental state actually was, nor did they consider the fact that maybe sending Sephiroth to Nibelheim may not be such a good idea considering what was hidden there. But that’s a story for another time, let’s get this started!

‘Am I... A human being?’

Here we begin to see the slow breaking of the once proud hero. The way he says those words, the tone of which he conveys his shock and utter sadness at the fact that the life given to him is most likely nothing more than a fruitless lie. This is such a stark contrast to the Sephiroth we all knew and loved when speaking to his friends in past analysis videos. It hurts a lot more for me since I absolutely adore this character and just hearing him slowly lose his mind really hits me in the gut. After this we see Genesis confirm albeit in the most cruel, heartless and condescending way possible that Sephiroth was an experiment and while Sephiroth really didn’t need to believe a word Genesis said, his psyche had already been broken. All this information being thrown at him is such a huge tidal wave of emotion, it’s no wonder Sephiroth felt overwhelmed. 

(“No such luck. You are a monster.” Okay small tangent for a second: Genesis in this scene is doing himself no favours at all. He wants Sephiroth’s help so that he can live right? Why tell him that he’s a monster and droll on and on about how his life was a lie and that his mother wasn’t actually a real human being but an otherworldly cosmic entity AKA a Monster? AND THEN PROCEED TO ASK HIM FOR HELP THINKING THAT HE’LL JUST WILLINGLY ACCEPT? As I told a good friend of mine: Genesis is such an idiot. I AM SORRY GENESIS RPERS OKAY, I LOVE HIS CHARACTER BUT THE WAY HE ACTS IN THIS SCENE IS SO FUCKING DUMB)

Genesis calls Sephiroth the ‘Greatest Monster Created by the Jenova Project’. And this is 100% truth, we’ve all seen just how strong he is, how special Sephiroth is. This is Genesis trying to turn him onto his side by appealing to the monster and detaching him from his human self. But this was a completely wrong way to do it, especially with a fragile mind like Sephiroth’s. He wanted to be human but he knew he somehow wasn’t in a way, he was always detached. And while he always opened up to people in a manner of which was incredibly kind hearted, he always felt like his brith wasn’t normal. Now finding out the truth, he DOES NOT want to be a monster, he DOES NOT want to be considered compartively to the beasts that were in the pods and with Genesis’ continual insistence that Sephiroth is nothing more than a monster, the small rope that was keeping his mind in check was slowly breaking under the large weight of the truth. 

‘Poor little Sephiroth. You’ve never actually met your mother.” 

Here is where things get super bad for our soon to be psychopath. Genesis throws out all of his cards onto the field, revealing the truth about Sephiroth’s existence and also revealing the truth about his mother: JENOVA. Genesis was right, Sephiroth had no idea who his mother was other than the supposed truths that ShinRa told him. I like to believe that when Sephiroth was growing up, they gave him a forged picture of what his mother looked like AKA JENOVA and from that day onwards, Sephiroth has always conjured that image in his head, that same picture is on his desk back at Shinra HQ and he cherishes it. It makes it hurt so much more watching the scene with this in mind as Genesis further digs into Sephiroth’s heart by mentioning that she was nothing more than a monster and whatever he clung onto was a giant fat lie. 

Notice how Sephiroth turns away from Genesis, the natural smile is gone. His stance, his posture has gone. He’s almost lurching forward, his confident strides naught but small steps forward. His eyes are wide and close at times, he is trying so hard to process everything but it’s all coming too fast for him to handle This form of coercion employed by Genesis may have worked on Angeal but Sephiroth? Hell no. It’s also quite amusing that Genesis knocks Sephiroth out of his confused state by calling him by his full title. SOLDIER: 1ST CLASS, SEPHIROTH. He says it similarly to how a general would do a roll call of his cadets before training, and this is literally conveying Genesis’ belief that he is in full control of Sephiroth, he holds the cards, he holds the power over his little brother this time. He believes that Sephiroth will give him what he wants. Little did he know how wrong he would be however. 

‘What do you want of me?’ 

Genesis’ motivations are finally made clear and we learn what makes Sephiroth so special when it comes to the JENOVA Project. We finally learn of the project where Angeal and Genesis originated from as well as the the one where Sephiroth was from. I’ll let Genesis say why in the video becaue he’ll explain it better than I can, I’ll end up butchering it if I tried. Basically what he wants is Sephiroth to share his cells so that he can stop his degradation. He’s slowly dying a painful death and Sephiroth can stop that because his cells have been perfected. Sephiroth has remained quiet this entire time, pondering the truth while Genesis flaps his gums about being saved, he has already made the decision in his head of what he wants to do. 

‘The Truth I have sought all my life. You will R O T.’ 

And here we finally reach the end. Sephiroth with no remorde left in his heart, his mind deadset on now learning the truth of his birth, denies and what I believe he also does is disown Genesis as a friend and brother. All the memories they shared, all the times they recited and enacted ‘Loveless’ together with Angeal, all of that is now dust in the wind. His expression, the deadpan stare that he gives Genesis is a lot more similar to the evil Sephiroth scowl we all know and love. The way in which he speaks, gone is the relatively light hearted, dry humoured tone of the hero that everyone looked up too when trying to become a soldier. No, he speaks with rage and grief in his tongue. He is legitimately torn asunder after the revalation. Whether it be lie or truth that came from Genesis, he’s done with his brother. Their friendhip is over. And at last, he delivers probably the most scathing, delicious and satisfying burns in Final Fantasy. Not only does he reject Genesis, he literally tells him to ROT. To DECAY! He tells Genesis in the most fitting way to just ‘GO DIE’. ‘THEN PERISH’. It’s one of my favourite insults in Final Fantasy ever. It’s nice to see the sarcastic wit hadn’t died with Sephiroth’s kind hearted nature. 

The scene ends with Sephiroth heading to ShinRa Manor to find further information of his existence while Genesis is left at the reactor. The closing words being: ‘ I see, perfect monter indeed...’. Genesis was actually surprised when Sephiroth denied him, it was quite a priceless reaction if I do say so myself.

I guess this is a fitting way to conclude with a very salty Genesis and a very angy Sephiroth. I want to thank you all for sticking with it this far I know this was a lot longer than normal but there was so much information to digest. I hope I didn’t waffle or state anything that was super obvious from the clip. This’ll probably be the last one for a while as this definitely took a lot of steam out of me. But yes, I’m glad so many of you enjoy this, if you have any scene requests that you'd want to see me have a shot at IM me <3

[rentfreecat]

Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Recs

so yeah I figured I should get around to making a list of some of my faves to promote them, I’ve got a big enough collection of bookmarks now. in no particular order. not all of them are necessarily complete or alive

Final Fantasy VII

The Gold Saucer’s Golden Arches by belderiver

Before he doomed the world to ash and ruin, Sephiroth wanted a burger.

note: Sephiroth + sudden hunger pang = mcgold

Meetings by Yinza

Aeris reflects on her few encounters with Sephiroth over the years since her escape from the lab.

note: Aerith having known Sephiroth before is just one of my favorite headcanons

lather, rinse, repeat by annperkinsface

She knows she shouldn't confuse this act of kindness for anything else, but it's hard, when Aerith is draping a towel over her shoulders, when Aerith is warm at her back, humming as she works a thick lather across her hands.

note: adorable Aerti. Aerith being a weirdo. Tifa blushing and being kinda horny. perfect. in case you couldn’t tell I ship it.

In Circles by Larissa

Tifa hates Midgar, and yet she stays, and she stays, and she stays.

Character study/pre-game gap-filler. Written for the Tifa Zine.

note: beautiful mood piece

the nodding golden tansy by Kieron_ODuibhir

“You think this troubles me?”

“Yes,” said Cloud, without looking up from his tea.

note: one of my fave takes on Seph and Cloud’s relationship. wonderfully quiet and melancholy.

not one before another by Kieron_ODuibhir

1) Sephiroth almost corrected the first person who called Aerith his sister, a woman they’d met before they were even out of Midgar’s slums complimenting him on taking such good care of her, while their mother shopped.

2) The other half of Project S took after their father.

3) Blue eyes contemplated him narrowly for several seconds, and then Genesis’ smirk came back, lying on his face more easily, somehow. “So brothers-in-arms to the skirmish shall we hence?”

4) It felt wrong to be relying on anybody but Mother, but Mother…only cared about Sephiroth, and it wasn’t fair. Loz sniffled. “Will she take care of Yazoo, too?”

5) “I’m glad he’ll have a big brother,” she said, as Sephiroth crossed the room. “Little ones always need someone looking out for them.”

Sephiroth nodded, and bent forward, and peered at the squashed little pink thing until it stirred, objecting probably to cool air on its face. “What’s his name?”

“Cloud."

(Five times in five worlds where Sephiroth was somebody's brother, and one where he wasn't anymore.)

note: exactly what it sounds like. personal fave is 4.

Angels Still Have Faces by Kieron_ODuibhir

On the fourth day, Sephiroth looked out a window and spotted his two friends together on one of the outdoor training fields, once again exchanging harsh words, only for Angeal to wheel around and storm off at the end.

note: fics where someone other than the main character time-travels are amazing and this is that and also outsider pov mother bear Sephiroth who doesn’t know what pizza is

Final Fantasy IX

puppet play by zalzaires

starting a drabble collection for ffix. i mostly just write about kuja so hence the name.

note: my personal fave is "curtains, bookends, stars of the show” because Kuja is such so... Kuja in there

Final Fantasy XV

ffucc the wedding by Givethemtriumphnow

Gift for Victortor, inspired by their fabulous ffucc Universe.

Noctis and Luna are the same person, one soul split into two bodies.

In a world where everyone lives and nothing hurts, the wedding is still a symbol of the peace, and the show must go on. Noct and Luna just can’t wait for what comes afterwards: the Big Reveal.

note: I just really like the one person two body trope okay? pretty entertaining read!

Poor Wayfaring Stranger by lithos_saeculum

Out on a mission, Cor Leonis finds a teenager, lost and sick and partway to becoming an MT. Against the advice of all and sundry, he brings him back to Insomnia. There's not a lot of love lost for MTs in the Citadel, but some of its inhabitants may still be young enough to put aside their prejudices.

note: also on my list of likes is MT Prompto trope, and honestly fuck canon that’s just there for inspiration. TW for implied pedophilia and stranger danger in one of the later chapters.

Will You Be There, Standing at the End of the War by Adel Mortescryche (Mortescryche)

When they're attacked by the Imperial Forces at Tenebrae, Regis wasn't prepared to be rescued alongside Noctis, Lunafreya and Ravus by the Commanding General of the enemy forces. Not after the man already cut Sylva down before them.

He was even less prepared for the face lying in wait behind the mask.

He dropped down to one knee, and rather pointedly cupped the left side of Drautos’ head, delicate, making no move to actually hide the fury raging through him.

“Talk, Titus.” Regis whispered. “Before I take this airship down from the sky.”

note: Drautos time-travels and is an absolute bastard. I like seeing his and Regis’s exchanges!

For Want of a Flan by magicgenetek

For want of some patience, Ifrit never freed Ardyn from Angelgard to rebel against the Astrals.

For want of Ardyn, Nifleheim never invented MT Troopers.

For want of MT Troopers, Lunafreya and Ravus were able to escape with Regis, and Nifleheim never cornered Lucis in their war.

For want of a kidnapping, Luna, Noctis and Prompto were able to work together to get ready for the prophecy, and Ravus is ready to suplex an Astral to make sure someone survives the prophecy.

For want of separation, the four of them go to Angelgard to figure out what secrets lay there, and accidentally adopt Ardyn into their plans to save the world.

For want of 2000 years’ prep time, Ardyn’s going to have to get up to speed on the modern world fast if he wants revenge or to fulfill his half of the prophecy.

note: has a good deal of worldbuilding and linguistics nerdery. I like that. I also like the recovery element of Ardyn’s arc.

A Little More Time by Asidian

The sun is brilliant overhead – set in a blue sky dotted with clouds that float like wisps of spun sugar through the high arc of the heavens.

It's more than lovely. It's entrancing, and Noctis takes one long, final look before he turns his gaze back earthward. His vision dances with sunspots for a moment, afterimages from the blinding light – but when it clears, Noctis sees a small black dog there, patient and watchful as always.

Umbra has been waiting.

"Alright," Noctis says. "We're ready to go back."

note: short, punchy, and absolutely chilling

Eschaton by nirejseki

Sure, it's the end of the world, but that just means someone's got to fix it.

And then the world found its somebodies.

(aka, with Noctis gone into the Crystal and no one sure when he'll be back, Ignis, Gladio, and Prompto end up saving the world one piece at a time)

note: I like worldbuilding and MTs alright? and schoolteacher Gladio will never not be funny/great

Astra Inclinant by thekindmagic

“Look,” Aranea laughs, shaking her head. “I’m not trying to shit on your destiny. But the way I see it? A lot of the time, there’s no big mystery. You either keep going, or you don’t.”

note: how could I not rec femslash? beautiful melancholy mood. I’m so sad for Luna

Starlight and Shadow by ohmyfae

While Noctis and his friends are setting up camp, Ardyn Izunia happens to accidentally stumble onto the runes of their haven. The magic of the haven pulls him into two halves; One is Ardyn, a small child with a bit of an ego and a limited knowledge of the world at large, and the other is the Scourge, shambling and groundless, determined to seek out its former host and consume the light it finds there.

note: fun read!

On the Care and Keeping of Prompto by ohmyfae

Congratulations! You have been chosen to ensure the well-being of PROMPTO, who is: 1. An absolute darling. 2. Of more intrinsic value than you, your significant other, your ancestors, and the world at large. 3. Two years and four months old 3a. This is very important to remember 4. Behind you.

note: also a very fun and fluffy read! also the fic that introduced me to the amazing crackship of Ardyn and Cor, and I say crackship but... I want more of it

Kingdom Hearts

The Price of Melodrama by LawnNinja

Xemnas never imagined that one of the hardest parts of his plan would be the stupid names.

note: deny it all you wish but you know this happened. also XULORD

(i don’t need you to) Worry for Me by Cygna_hime

In a fit of defiance and desperation, Vanitas disobeys his Master's orders and goes looking for the missing half of his heart. He finds it, and something else as well, something he never expected to find anywhere...

note: I absolutely love this I’ve read this like... 3 or 4 times? go read it now

Bleeding Heart by keelahselai

Xemnas was fundamentally a bad person. Born from the fracture of Xehanort's heart, he had only caused pain to those he banded together with under the promise of finding a way to return all their hearts. He shattered the Organization he'd founded for his own gain, and he understood this with cool indifference. But beneath everything, carefully kept folded away and hidden from Xigbar's prying eye, he was also made from the other inhabitant of Apprentice Xehanort's body. And as troubling as it could be to their plan, he kept it hidden from all.

(Or, how Terra managed to keep his head above the water for thirteen years)

note: I absolutely love the.. I don’t know what it’s called, but let’s say Terramas even though that sounds like a ship name... I absolutely love that trope. this one has such just a great mood y’know?

By Choice or Chance by Six_Piece_Chicken_McNobody

Lazy afternoons are a universal phenomenon.

note: I just love Xehaqus’s tragedy. this is nice, fluffy, and one of them is going to murder the other in his own selfish lust for power. (I know III said Xehanort had other motivations but I just love the “he’s such an utter bastard that all his relationships are going to end disastrously” interpretation)

Whatever Will Be by NanakiBH

Once I tell you the words I've been unable to say, it will be goodbye.

note: more explicitly melancholy mood than last one, still great.

[the-desolated-quill]

Rosa - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

It comes as a massive relief to say that I really enjoyed this episode. There are a number of ways Rosa could have gone wrong and while Chris Chibnall has managed to crank out two surprisingly good Doctor Who episodes so far, it’s hard to shake off old fears. Oh my God, I thought to myself, a historical episode about Rosa Parks and the Black Civil Rights Movement. Is Chibnall biting off more than he can chew? 

Thankfully Chibnall had the good sense to hire a co-writer that can keep his white privilege in check. Malorie Blackman. Author of the critically acclaimed Noughts and Crosses series of books depicting an alternative reality where Africans developed a technological advantage over Europeans and where white people are segregated under this world’s version of the Jim Crow laws. It’s safe to say that Blackman knows a thing or two about exploring racism and, being a black woman, she’s much more qualified to talk about issues of race and to represent Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights Movement as a whole than Chibnall is. The result is, without a shadow of a doubt, some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in years.

One thing I’m glad about is the way Rosa Parks is depicted. Historical stories (particularly New Who historical stories) have an unfortunate tendency to go completely over the top with it. It’s just not enough to have a character who played a significant part in human history. Oh no. They’ve also got to be the specialist, most important person in the whole wide universe. The result is that we’re often left with a wafer thin episode that completely romanticises the period of history the story is trying to depict, waters down all the more complicated and unsavoury parts of the historical setting and turns the famous historical figure into a shallow caricature of themselves (see Agatha Christie in Unicorn And The Wasp, Winston Churchill in Victory Of The Daleks and Vincent Van Gogh in Vincent And The Doctor). Rosa, thankfully, doesn’t fall into the same trap. Rosa Parks isn’t treated as a god among mortals. She’s treated like an ordinary person, thus making her actions that much more powerful.

Vinette Robinson (who appeared in a previous Chibnall penned story 42) does an incredible job playing Rosa Parks. Again, more emphasis is placed on how ordinary she is rather than how historically significant. Nowadays we of course view her as the genesis of the Black Civil Rights Movement and she has rightly been praised and immortalised for that, but it’s easy to forget that she was a real person behind the legacy, which is what the episode really delves into. We get to see her fear, sadness and frustration in this oppressive society. And it really brings home how mundane her actions really are. Sure we can see from hindsight how her actions would influence others and change the course of history, but she wasn’t some heroic freedom fighter taking a stand. She was a woman who just wanted to sit down on a bus after a hard day at work. And the fact that she, Martin Luther King and other black people actually had to fight for the right to do something so trivial is utterly ridiculous.

Some have criticised the episode saying that this is too heavy a subject matter to deal with at 7pm on a Sunday evening. I couldn’t disagree more. For one thing, this isn’t the first time Doctor Who has handled difficult subject matters (Nazism and genocide have frequently cropped up in past stories after all). But I think the criticism mostly stems from people (white people) being left feeling uncomfortable by the story and are trying to avoid having a serious conversation about it NRA style, claiming that this isn’t the right time for it. Well... when is it the right time? Nobody wants to have this conversation, sure, but we’ve still got to have it. And as uncomfortable viewing as it is, it’s important that it is not sugar-coated and that we’re reminded of how difficult things were for non-white people so that shit like this never happens again. So no, I didn’t think the use of violence against black people or racially charged language up to and including the n word were inappropriate. It was an accurate depiction of the environment at the time and if you felt uncomfortable by that, then congratulations, that’s precisely what you’re supposed to feel.

In fact I honestly thought the episode’s depiction of violence against black people was quite restrained, making the acts of discrimination that much more despicable in my eyes. Using gratuitous violence would have been a cheap shot and Chibnall and Blackman mercifully avoid that route. What makes the episode so chilling to watch isn’t the things that white people do, but rather the oppressive atmosphere they create. It’s not the arrogant tosspot slapping Ryan across the face for touching his wife’s glove that had me on edge. It was the scene after that where everyone is just silently staring at the TARDIS crew in the cafe that really made me feel queasy. The threat is implied, yet constant, which is infinitely scarier. After the likes of Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss boasting about how their episodes were going to be ‘the scariest Doctor Who stories ever’ only for them to amount to a hodge-podge of tired horror cliches and a dumb monster going ‘boo’, it’s a relief to see writers take a more subtle ‘less is more’ approach. I’m sorry, but the bus driver glaring angrily at Rosa is much more terrifying than a Weeping Angel. Period.

Which brings me to Krasko, played with smug charm by Joshua Bowman who succeeds at making you want to reach through the screen and punch his racist face repeatedly. Again, some have criticised the episode for its ‘one dimensional villain’ and, again, it only seems to be white people making this criticism. Not to make sweeping generalisations here, but non-white fans seem to be largely happy with how Krasko was written and depicted, probably because they’ve had to deal with pricks like him at least once in their lives. I’m guessing the source of the criticism comes from him not having a backstory or concrete motivation other than he hates black people. But my response to that is... does he really need one? Would Krasko have really been a more interesting character if it was revealed that he was bullied in school or a black kid had stolen his My Little Pony lunchbox? Does there really need to be a reason for why he hates black people and wants to ‘put them in their place’? I would have thought him being a racist white person would have been enough reason to hate him frankly. Let’s not forget what happened when Star Wars and Marvel respectively gave their villains Kylo Ren and Kilgrave tragic backstories to provide context for their despicable actions, at which point the fans proceeded to romanticise the fuck out of them, calling them misunderstood. Maybe (and this is just my opinion) giving Krasko a backstory wouldn’t have made him more interesting, but instead would have been seen as an attempt to justify and excuse his shitty behaviour, and maybe, just maybe, we’re better off without one. Just a thought.

Besides, it’s not as if we don’t learn anything about Krasko. We’re given enough information to work with. He’s a time traveller from the future. He was put in prison for murdering two thousand people (quick side note, did anyone else laugh when the Doctor said the Stormcage was the most secure prison in the universe? Remind me, how many times did River Song break out again?). He’s clearly intelligent, as demonstrated by him coming up with a non-violent plan to ruin the lives of generations of non-white people in order to circumvent his neural inhibitors. While it’s never overtly mentioned, he’s clearly some future version of the alt-right and is there to act as an extension of the true villain of the story. Because that’s the thing the people criticising his character have overlooked. Krasko isn’t the villain. White people are. The society Rosa Parks lives in is the true villain. Krasko is there not just to get to the plot going, but also to subtly demonstrate that while things do get better for non-white citizens, there will always be that racist element within our society. Hell, Ryan and Yasmin even spell it out for you in their conversation whilst hiding from the police. While people like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King made a huge impact and helped change things for the better, racism and prejudice hasn’t just magically gone away. It’s still around. There are still people who cling on to these extremist and bigoted views. Some might argue that racism has become so entrenched in Western society that it will never fully go away. That there will always be some remnant hanging around. That’s what Krasko represents. So if you thought he was a rubbish villain because he had ‘no backstory or motivation’ then I’m afraid you’ve completely missed the point.

I should also applaud Chibnall and Blackman for resisting the urge to shove in some pointless alien like other historicals have. Not only would that have distracted from Rosa’s story, the racist white people are scary enough thank you very much. While there are sci-fi elements in here, the episode quite rightfully focuses on people.

Speaking of people, let’s talk about the TARDIS crew. Yeah! They’re in this episode too! Haven’t really talked about them much, have I? The Doctor largely takes a backseat in this one, which I know some people have a problem with, but I think it was the right thing to do. We don’t want an alien white woman coming in and stealing Rosa Parks’ glory. Jodie Whittaker graciously lets Vinette Robinson take centre stage while she busies herself with other things like confronting and intimidating Krasko and organising fake raffles with Frank Sinatra. I really like the balance they’ve struck between light and dark with this Doctor (something Moffat tried to do with Peter Capaldi’s Doctor and failed at miserably). She’s funny, compassionate and caring, but there’s a little bit of Sylvester McCoy’s devious cunning in there too, which really comes to the forefront here. Did anyone else find it really disconcerting seeing the Doctor try to maintain history? Influencing events so that Rosa Parks had no choice, but to give up (or refuse to give up) her seat. While we know she’s doing it for the right reasons, in order to keep black history in check, she’s still nonetheless actively contributing to Rosa’s misery, which is actually a clever way of exploring how white people all contribute to a racist status quo, directly, indirectly, intentionally and unintentionally. And of course it all culminates in the Doctor and co refusing to give up their seats in order to keep history intact. The look on Thirteen’s face as events unfold says it all. The look of sheer sadness and self loathing, knowing she played a part in this, is haunting. Same goes for Graham’s realisation. The widower of a black woman and step-grandfather to a black teenager being forced to contribute to this racist institution is utterly heartbreaking.

But the standout of the main cast has to be Ryan. Tosin Cole truly shines in this episode, giving an incredibly powerful and moving performance. This in many ways is his episode as he comes face to face with the racist prejudices of the time period and Cole rises to the occasion. My favourite scene has to be when Ryan talks with Rosa, thanking her for everything she will do in the future and promising that things will get better. It’s incredibly emotional and I actually started tearing up with him. I’m also so happy that he was the one that got to beat Krasko at the end rather than the Doctor. I stood up and cheered. And his reaction to seeing Martin Luther King has got to be one of the most charming moments of the series so far.

Rosa is unquestionably one of the strongest episodes in all of Doctor Who. It’s incredibly well written and performed and it’s extremely powerful as well as being very subtle and nuanced. What’s more, I’m now completely sold on Chris Chibnall being the showrunner. Any lingering doubts I’ve may have had are now completely evaporated after this episode. Rosa proves that not only does Chibnall respect and value diversity both in front of and behind the camera, but that he’s also committed to creating something truly special with his tenure, using the Doctor Who format to explore hard hitting and difficult subject matters with care and respect. Truly excellent television.

[jace-the-writer-guy]

A Reznor Family Christmas Part One

///A story with more fluff than non-fluff, but I hope you guys like it. Merry Christmas. The second part will hopefully be out tomorrow.///

“Welcome home, Ebony!” Alyss exclaimed happily at seeing her daughter walk into their home south of Atlas on the snowy continent of Solitas.

“Hi mama! Hi papa!” Ebony greeted back and walked into the house, then she was hugged by both her parents, “We’re here for Christmas!” She said as Sakura and Wave walked into the living room, closing the door behind them. Boo crawled up from one of the pockets of Sakura’s hoodie under her jacket, then she took her jacket off while Talon flapped his wings and flew to her other shoulder.

“We see that,” Jace laughed and hugged both his mate and daughter tighter, “Oh it’s so good to see you again, cub. And you kids too.”

“You too, Jace.” Sakura said to who she one day hoped would be her father-in-law.

“Thank you for having me,” Wave said to Jace with a small, thankful smile, “It means a lot this year, considering…”

“You disowned yourself from that horrible couple,” Alyss finished for him, “You don’t have to thank us, dear. We’re happy to let you celebrate Christmas with us.”

“And me, my mom and dad too,” Sakura said and gave him a side hug, “Double Christmas for you.”

“And you.” Jace said with a grin as he looked over to her from the hug.

“And me!” Ebony cheered, “Oh, mama, papa…” She gave a devious little smile, “Look up~”

Both her parents looked up and gave matching smiles at seeing the mistletoe hanging from her collar. “Ooh she got us, Aly.” Jace said.

“Mmm yeah, she did~” Alyss giggled, then she and Jace looked at each other and shared a tender, loving kiss under the mistletoe.

“Yaaay~” Ebony giggled and hugged her parents more, “You both are so adorable together.”

“Second cutest couple right behind you and Sakura.” Wave remarked.

“Oh stop.” Sakura said and playfully pushed him away, but she couldn’t help but giggle.

After another few moments, Jace and Alyss broke their kiss off and the three let go of the hug, and then Pepper came forward and hopped up, putting her front paws on Ebony’s thighs. “Aww miss me, girl?” Ebony asked with a smile, then she leaned down and picked her husky up in her arms to hug, “I missed you too~”

Sakura placed a hand on Ebony’s lower back and smiled at what she heard from Pepper’s light ruffs. “I’m so glad to see you again, Ebony!” Ebony and Sakura heard in their minds.

Ebony giggled as Pepper licked her on the cheek. “I’m glad to see you too, Pepper.”

“Who is this?” Both Boo and Talon asked, Boo in fear while Talon asked curiously.

“This is Pepper,” Sakura said and petted the old husky, “You both are gonna love her. She’s the sweetest dog ever.”

“And one of the best cuddle buddies!” Ebony cheered.

“I-if you say so…” Boo squeaked.

Talon let out a few light cackles and Sakura and Ebony heard him laugh. “Oh you are a fearful little mouse, aren’t you?”

Boo squeaked at him. “You would be too if you were smaller than everything!”

That caused Ebony and Sakura to begin laughing as Pepper let out a huff. “Cute little mouse~”

Wave went over to Jace and Alyss as Ebony and Sakura listened to the animals and smiled at them, reaching into the large bag he brought and he handed them both presents he had bought them and wrapped. “Merry Christmas. I wanted to get you both something to thank you with.”

They both took the presents and smiled back at him. “Thank you, Wave. That’s nice of you.”

“What’s Christmas without gifts?” Wave said and chuckled lightly, and he hugged the aging couple, “I’m happy you both are letting me share this Christmas and New Year with you. It means a lot.”

Both of them returned the hug warmly. “If it wasn’t for Rivy and Ulysses, we’d adopt you, sweetheart,” Alyss said and patted him on the back, “But, that doesn’t mean you aren’t already a part of our family.”

Wave smiled even more as a few tears rolled from his eyes. “Gods, it’s a good family to be a part of.”

“I think you’ll like the gifts we got you.” Jace said with a grin.

“You didn’t have to get me anything. I’m just happy you let me be here.”

“Oh quit that,” Alyss said lightly, “We’re more than happy to let you stay with us, and we wanted to do this for you.”

Wave gave a smile and just a few more tears fell down his cheeks. “Th-thank you. You guys are like a second family to me.”

“Just call me mom.” Alyss said.

Jace chuckled. “And call me dad.”

Ebony and Sakura stepped over to them and looked over at the space next to the television that had been cleared out. “Hmm where’s Genny?” Ebony asked.

“Asleep in his bed,” Alyss answered as she and Jace let go of Wave, and Jace took him to find some covers for the couch he’d be sleeping on, “I’m surprised he didn’t wake up from your motorcycle. Speaking of that…”

“It was very awkward.” Sakura giggled, knowing what Alyss was going to ask.

“I wanna go change out of these pants,” Ebony said and wiggled her hips a bit in discomfort, “These things are tight and annoying.”

“You know…” Sakura said with a blush as Ebony set Pepper down on a couch, bending over to do so and showing off her nice, squishy butt in the pants, “Y-you could leave them on for a while longer…”

Ebony blushed brightly at what her girlfriend said and straightened her back, and she cleared her throat a bit. “M-m-maybe I can.”

Alyss laughed and hugged the giantess around the waist in a side hug. “Oh you both are just the most adorable couple. Now…” She watched Jace and Wave leave the room and she smiled, “Let me tell you both our gift for Wave…”

X x X x X

Ebony placed the tree down in its holder on the floor and grinned as she straightened it out. It was a large fake tree in one piece, not a real one, but it held a lot of value to Jace considering it was the very same one his father used for their holidays when he was a child, and one he would always use in Haile’s memory. When Ebony as done with that, Alyss got down on her knees and reached under it to spread out a red blanket around the base of it. It was the blanket her mother had sewn and it was always used for this during Alyss’ childhood, and she continued to do it in her mother’s memory. When she finished spreading it out, the decorating began. Ebony quickly and easily wrapped a couple sets of Christmas lights around the tree from top to bottom, then a few long strings of tinsel in silver, blue, green, and red were wrapped around the large tree.

After that, everyone joined in decorating it, even little Genesis as Alyss held him so he could put numerous different ornaments on it ranging from little bulbs to angels. He enjoyed doing it and to see the tree transform from a simple tree to something beautiful for his first Christmas ever, and he had a big smile on his face at seeing so many pretty decorations, especially the tinsel, which he couldn’t stop himself from feeling.

And with the tinsel of course came some fun between the two couples. When Wave was spending some time with Genesis and Pepper on the couch while Talon was perched on the back of the couch and Boo was sitting between his talons, Alyss and Sakura shared a look and had the same idea. With some spare tinsel, they both wrapped them around Jace and Ebony’s shoulders respectively and pulled them down for kisses. Wave knew what was going to happen and he already had Sakura’s camera out to take a picture, and he did. But, with that came a bit of jealousy as he didn’t have either one of his girlfriends, and it made him a bit sad. But seeing everyone so happy kept Wave’s spirits up, and he kept a smile on as decorations were finished.

That bit of tinsel fun came before Genesis had gotten a hold of some of it as well, and before anyone knew it he had gotten himself all tangled up in it and was stuck on the floor, and Pepper was looking at him curiously as her tail thumped against the couch. That brought joyous laughs from everyone as Genesis whined adorably and mewled as he struggled to get free, but only making it worse. Sakura just had to take a video of the moment on her scroll. While everyone was distracted by that, Ebony was left on her own and somehow she had been tangled up in a bunch of it herself while everyone was focused on Genesis. Ebby just couldn’t help herself after seeing her baby brother get himself tangled up in it.

“Umm…”

That made everyone turn around and then they all laughed even more, and Genesis giggled happily at seeing the same thing happen to Ebony while Pepper ruffed lightly as her tail wagged as if she was taking joy in the sight as well. Wave went to work on freeing Ebony while Sakura just giggled and laughed behind her scroll, turning her video to Ebony. It had happened so quickly too and that was even better! While Wave helped get Ebony out of the tinsel, he remarked that Christmas must have come early for Sakura, and that made the two girls blush hard. But the tiny and giant kitten were eventually freed and they slowly went back to work on decorating, lining the railing of the stairs behind the television with tinsel and fixing up the gift area under the tree.

Then…

“Who’s putting the star up?” Jace asked as he finished putting up three special ornaments. One that was his, one that was his brother’s, and one that was his father’s.

Alyss hummed as she did the same, putting her own and her mother’s ornaments up before pausing with her own father’s, something she couldn’t help but do every year. “How about Genesis and Sakura?”

Genesis’ ears perked up at the mention of his name and Sakura just looked surprised. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” Alyss said with a smile before putting her father’s ornament up with her mother’s, “Both you and Genesis putting it up at the same time. Two new members of our family.”

“I like that idea!” Ebony said excitedly, “What about Wave?”

Alyss looked over to him and her smile got a bit bigger. “Of course he can join too. If he wants to, that is.”

Wave gave a smile as his ember eyes glowed a warm glow, and Genesis looked at them in wonder. “I’d be happy to… mom.”

Wave picked Genesis up and walked over to Ebony and Sakura. Then, Ebony picked them both up around their waists and Sakura helped make it comfortable for Genesis, and she was handed the golden star. She held it between herself and Wave and he took hold of his side of it, knowing what the plan was, but Genesis just looked confused.

“Alright, Genny,” Ebony began to explain to him, “Grab a hold of the star where Saki and Wave’s fingers are. They’ll help you put the star on the tree, okay?”

“‘Kay…” Genesis replied and held onto the star with his tiny hands.

Ebony leaned forward with everyone and her teammates slowly moved the star for Genesis, and thet all placed it on top of the tree. Wave and Sakura let go, then Genesis slowly let go as well and the star was set. Genesis smiled and clapped his hands, then Sakura gave him scritches and he started to purr loudly as Ebony set them all down and Sakura held Genesis in her arms.

“Welcome to the family, kids,” Jace said to Wave and Sakura, then he heard a knock on the door and Genesis’ purring stopped, and Jace grinned, “Right on time.”

Jace went over to the door and opened it up to see two figures with brown waist-length cloaks and hoods standing there and one held an Atlesian Shepherd puppy in her arms. “I’m glad you two got here alright.”

“Thank you for inviting us.” The woman said and set the puppy down, and she immediately let out a happy bark and ran for Wave as the woman took her hood off to reveal black, blue and turquoise-tipped hair.

The man took his hood off as well, revealing his shaggy brown hair. “After telling us who else was going to be here, how could we say no?”

“It’s good seeing you again, Ulysses,” Jace said to him with a smile, then turned to the dragon Faunus, “You too, Rivy.”

“Mom, dad?” Wave said and looked at them both in surprise, and he looked down at the puppy that was barking happily, “H-hey Momo.” He said and reached down to pet the puppy, who Pepper was looking curiously at and who Genesis was hiding from in Sakura’s arms. Talon was just looking at Momo while Boo hid behind his leg.

“Our gift to you, Wave,” Alyss said with a smile and put a hand on his shoulder, and she noticed his eyes had brightened considerably, “Christmas with Rivy and Ulysses.”

Wave blinked a couple times as tears filled his eyes. He couldn’t stop them from trailing down his cheeks once more, giving a few more headpats to Momo. “Th-thank you, Alyss…”

“No need to thank us,” Alyss replied, “Just go hug your parents.”

Wave didn’t need any other invitation and he rushed over to them, and he hugged Rivy and Ulysses tightly after they set their weapons at the door. Both of them immediately returned the hug, with Ulysses squeezing tighter. The three stayed in that embrace for several long, silent moments as Jace closed the door for them and went back over to Alyss, and Sakura and Ebony smiled at seeing the touching moment between the family. It was all the more special considering the three could very, very rarely be together like this. Especially on a holiday.

“This was a really sweet thing you guys, did.” Sakura murmured to Jace and Alyss.

Alyss leaned her head against Jace’s shoulder. “It was the least we could do after we heard about what happened. He deserves this.”

“We also have two people for Genny to get used to,” Jace said with a smile as Genesis tried to hide his face in Sakura’s chest, and he knelt down to pet the growing dog, “And a puppy. I’m glad it was easy to get him used to Boo.”

Ebony smiled brightly at seeing the scene in front of her. “You and mama are the best.”

X x X x X

Christmas Eve came quickly a couple of days later. Some presents were under the tree and ready for the next morning while some were hidden away to be set under the tree later. Boo had a lot to be fearful of, even if she had gotten to know Momo and Pepper. But she was okay with Genesis, considering he had held her a bit and was very light with his touches and careful with her after Sakura said for him to. It was nice for the desert mouse. Talon had to resist his urge to go roost in the tree after Sakura told him he couldn’t because of those bulbs and fuzzy things called “decorations”. He had resigned himself to either perch on the back of the couch Sakura sat on, or on the railing of the stairs.

Wave’s eyes never lost their glow the whole time he was with his parents, talking with them both like a family and they all shared different stories with each other about their lives recently and Wave told them both about how he had two girlfriends and that was something Ulysses had laughed in joy at, because he knew his son had two girls to be happy with.

Speaking of that…

“Knock knock~” A certain Rough Collie puppy Faunus said in a singsong voice when she opened the front door, followed by her parents who waved at everyone, “I heard a living heater was here for Christmas~”

“Well it’s about time,” Alyss said with a light laugh, “We were struggling to keep your visit a surprise to Wave.”

“This is your other gift?” Wave asked with a happy tone in his voice, “Light, Christmas definitely came early for me.”

“Can’t you guys knock for once?” Jace asked his brother and his family, rolling his eyes at them all, “I mean really, it’s common courtesy.”

“I’m your brother, so I don’t have to knock.” Alex replied with a grin.

“And I’m your darling sister-in-law, so same.” Aulin smirked and stuck her tongue out before closing the door.

“And I’m your sweet little niece,” Carlisha said before hopping over the back of the couch and dropping next to Wave, her legs draped over his lap, “So, miss me, Hot Rod?”

Wave grinned at the nickname. “Like you wouldn’t believe after seeing all these couples around me.”

Carlisha tilted her head a bit at the sight of Momo on Wave’s other side, “Or… have you gone and replaced me, hmm?” She asked, feigning hurt and giving the puppydog eyes.

Wave laughed and gave her some headpats. “Nothing’s ever replacing you, babe. If only Aerial was here too.”

The two shared a hug and Wave warmed his girlfriend up, making her tail wag happily as everyone shared greetings with each other and sat down to watch a movie together. Ulysses was happy to know that he already knew at least one of Wave’s girlfriends, and Rivy was surprised that she didn’t know about it sooner but she was happy the two looked so comfortable together. Jace and Alyss served everyone some hot chocolate with little marshmallows in it, and Ebony and Genesis enjoyed theirs an equal amount. Sakura, with a blush on her face, wished that she could add a bit of cinnamon flavor to her drink. Cookies were another thing that Alyss had brought out for everyone and they were gone in a matter of minutes, which made her happy since it was rare that she made them and to see everyone happily dig in like that made her smile.

Carlisha and her parents had brought a few different gifts in and they were put under the tree, with a few things being put in the stockings hanging from the walls around the tree. Ebony had discretely taken a mistletoe and tied it around the tip of her tail, then she moved it above Carlisha and Wave’s heads, nearly completing the secret mission set out to do which was get all the couples to kiss under the mistletoe. Rivy tapped Wave on the shoulder and pointed up to the mistletoe, and he looked up and grinned. Carlisha followed his gaze and saw the tip of her cousin’s tail wiggling around with the decoration on it, then she followed tradition and looked at Wave, then she pulled him close to her and gave him a light, long kiss.

The day was filled with many, many laughs and shared stories between everyone. Alyss told of the time she fully grew a child’s arm after he had been born without one, Jace told of the time he had gotten his sword stuck in a Goliath’s head, and Alex and Aulin told of the time where he battled a Sea Dragon in the air and killed it while he weaved through a barrage of dust attacks from Aulin. Sakura told everyone that she was planning to try to sing for the citizens of Kuo Kuana to help spread some holiday cheer at home. They would have talked more but it was getting late, and they all decided to turn in for the night so they could wake up early in the morning, especially Jace since he had to fly to the city for a very special gift.

Everyone wished each other goodnight, and everyone gave Genesis goodnight scritches, which he purred deeply at. After everyone settled down on the couches that were sleeping on them, which were Wave and Carlisha, and Alex and Aulin while Rivy and Ulysses laid on sleeping bags between the couches, the lights of the living room were turned off, and the lights of the Christmas tree lit up beautifully with numerous flashing bulbs of blue, green, white, red, and gold shined against the plastic bristles and decorations of the tree and the star was magnificent, powered by dust to make beautiful streams of silver, blue, and green to swirl around it. It was expensive, but Jace and Alyss couldn’t wait to see Genesis’ reaction to it in the morning. In the middle of the room next to the coffee table were all the animals all huddled together. Pepper laid in the center while Momo laid behind her with her head laying over Pepper’s neck, Boo was laying on Pepper’s head, and Talon used Pepper’s paw as a roost, his talons wrapped around the paw but the tips not irritating the husky at all.

Of course Sakura had to take a picture of that before bed.

Finally, Ebony and Sakura were in the former’s room, both changing into their pajamas. While Sakura’s back was turned, Ebony snuck up behind her and raised her tail high so the tip was above them both, and she turned Sakura around and lifted her up. Sakura squeaked in surprise from the sudden action, and she saw Ebony’s playful smile and then she looked up to see the mistletoe. Ebony didn’t waste a second and captured Sakura’s soft, warm lips in her own for a light kiss. And now, Ebony’s mission was accomplished. Sakura hummed happily and lightly kicked her feet back and forth as she wrapped her arms around Ebony’s shoulders, and both girls closed their eyes as the kiss very slowly got deeper and more passionate, but Sakura let out curious-sounding hum before she broke the kiss off, leaving a trail of saliva running between their lips.

“So…” Sakura said as Ebony let her down, “I’ve been wondering something all day.”

Ebony tilted her head, one ear flattening to the side. “What’s that?”

“Just what am I supposed to do about this~?” She asked in a teasing tone and lifted a finger up to point at the mistletoe hanging from Ebony’s collar, “I mean, there’s a few things that it’s hanging above…”

Ebony blushed a bit in understanding of what Sakura meant. “O-oh, I guess it could mean that hehe…” She laughed a bit nervously. She still got flustered over things like this, and Sakura loved it. It was so cute.

Sakura stood on her toes and grabbed a light hold of Ebony’s breasts, then she gave a light kiss to each one. “Hmm, that’s two down…”

She knelt down slightly and slowly lifted Ebony’s nightgown up, and she pulled her panties down and let out a gasp and she cooed softly. “Aww that’s adorable! You got me another present~” She said in remarks to the small green ribbon lightly wrapped around Ebony’s member.

Ebony squeaked a bit in response. “Y-yeah. D-d-do you l-like it?”

Sakura giggled and placed a kiss to the tip of Ebony’s dick, earning a mewl of pleasure from the kitten. The kiss was short, but it was so warm and soft that it made Ebony’s member twitch a few times. “I love it~ So Ebby…” Sakura looked up into her girlfriend’s eyes, “Does my Christmas come early too?”

[translationandbetrayals]

ALIIEEEENZZZ!! in anime (A very, very confused rant about a anime and “power relations” tropes between humans and aliens)

So I just finished watching Planet With and it was sort of interesting, it cannot be said that it has the best story, soundtrack or graphic arts (be it animation, character design, backgrounds, etc) but certainly interesting because it got me thinking about how aliens are depicted in anime compared to other media.

Planet With:

If you do not know what anime show I am talking about, Planet With is a science fiction series that is about a alien boy with amnesia and a big cat that eats the eats the boy and then transforms into a neko-mecha… oh yeah and there is also a vegetarian maid.

Fig 1.- The main characters of the anime Planet With

  I will try to make this as spoilers-free as possible but in interest of this post I find it sadly inolvidable to talk about the aliens in this anime… By the way, this is your last spoiler warning: 3, 2, 1…

The main conflict in Planet With has to do with the evolutionary stage of telepathy, when a species begins to become psychically sensitive there two main evolutionary paths that can be taken by the collective and individuals of the species: evolving for love or evolving for power. Nebula, a collective of various and diverse alien species and races have evolved via the path of love but have seen what has happened to those who chose the evolutionary path for power which results in a “dragon”, Nebula tends to be a little bit jumpy about dragons because once upon a time there was a very big galactic dragon that did the minor naughty sin of GENOCIDE OF AN ENTIRE PLANET.

  When the humans start evolving into telepaths, Nebula cannot help but notice that the humans are following the evolutionary path of power and it is from here where the interaction between Nebula and Humanity begins. Typically at this stage the story will present the aliens as something completely negative, since most story that talk about opposing ideals and ideologies display the conflict in a reductive manner, one sad being common sense and the other simply bad, mad, and silly (An example of this would be Thanos plan to solve all of the universes problem in the film Avengers Infinity War). Surprisingly Planet With presents the aliens and their meddling in human affairs with quite some nuanced:

  Fig.2.- Examples of the “bizarre taste” of the aliens

  1.- The political splintering of a alien polis because of a mutual problem:

Nebula is in essence a pacifist civilization, they believe in diplomacy, collectivism and love (You can see this reflected in their bizzare taste), it makes sense that their “arch enemy” is the dragon, which is a being of pure empowerment of the individual but crazed with his own sense of justice fueled by individualism. Despite all of the positive aspects it has to be said that Nebula has been traumatized by the actions of the Dragon and this results in desperate and extreme conclusions when it comes to a possible new dragon (This coming from the new human telepaths). This results in the sealing faction (being led by a big white dog) which concludes that the humans have to have their evolution sealed (this means trapping the entire human species into a eternal dream state where all of their ambitions and fantasies are satisfied, killing their ambition and wish to grow, connect and evolve), but there are those that believe that being this extreme is aggressive and hypocritical of a civilization that claims to have evolved from love, these are the pacifist faction (who are led by a big blue cat).

  2.- The position of each faction of Nebula is clear and honest:

What I love about the political conflict is that it is obvious that the two alien factions are annoyed by their political opponents but they do not use pseudo-over the top-unnecessary-philosophy to justify their position or criticize the other one, in fact the sealing faction is able to convince some humans to help them because of past events that gives them some credibility (the same can be said about the pacifist faction).

Fig.3.- Leaders of the two Nebula factions (Left: pacifist faction; Right: sealing faction)

3.- The problem of a “intervention of a foreign power” is addressed 

Of course, the series those conclude that one of the factions is wrong and the other is right and this would be a “black and white” situation but this anime is self aware of the political context of its story. One of the human telepaths (the most powerful of them) has some extreme political ideas about individualism but does make a good criticism about Nebula when he is fighting against the sealing faction: “You are imposing forcefully your values onto us, how is that not a invasion?” This is a fair criticism, since one must ask as a citizen of a nation that decides to get involved in a different countries conflict “Why do we intervene into others problems? Are we justified in doing so? Does our actions reflect what we claim are our good willed intentions?” We can see these questions revealing certain military interventions in our reality being not only problematic but tragic (You may pick any of the United States wars against terror/evil/danger). But in the anime I would personally say that the intervention of Nebula (in the context of the complete story) is not only necessary but is actually beneficial to the human species because, you know: diversity.

  One last thing I wish to clarify about the multiple conflicts and interactions between the Nebula factions and the human species is that it is not a battle of opposing ideologies or the nationalistic supremacy of any of the sides, because in the end of the day all of the characters (except for the dragon) want the best for humanity but simply disagree what is actually the best; I will admit, this is a not only a optimistic but a ideal (even utopian) political situacion, it kinda of gives me a weird Star Treky vibe. And I really appreciate that, since this kind of depiction of the political + social relationship between aliens and humans in a anime is actually quite rare. How rare? Well I am glad you ask because I made a list!

  I would argue that most relationships between aliens and humans in media is one of power, be it technological, physical, social, spiritual, or the capacity of one market to commodify almost anything. Unless it is a situation where the humans and aliens are sort of equals in terms of power (and even if this is the case…),  typically the relationship will result in one group abusing the other; be it a invading them, eating them, exterminating them, changing them or commodifying the population (be this slavery, food stock or tokenism). This tendencies is related to what aliens usually represent in media: the other, the unknown, the powerful, the grand administrator, the madness, the colonist or the colonized. The list that will be presented below is based on this argument of mine (This list is composed mostly of anime that I have watched, so no this list does not contain all anime that depicts hostile aliens):

  Some anime that depicts Hostile alien tropes (Includes Spoilers):

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: Aliens wants to oppress us

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Aliens wants to change us against our will

Guilty Crown: Aliens wants to change us against our will

Darling in the Franx: Aliens wants to invade us

One Punch Man: Aliens wants to invade us

Dragon Ball Z: Aliens wants to invade us*

Eureka Seven: Humans are a eco-hazard towards Aliens

Eureka Seven AO: Aliens wants to change us against our will

Suisei no Gargantia: Aliens wants to exterminate us + Humans are a eco-hazard towards Aliens

Gantz: Aliens wants to invade us + commodify us + eat us

World Trigger: Aliens wants to invade us

Sidonia no Kishi: Aliens wants to eat us

Gundam 00: A Wakening of the Trailblazer: Aliens wants to change us against our will (But hey, we kinda of like it in the end)

Terra Formars: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Kill la Kill: Aliens wants to invade us +  change us against our will + wants to eat us

Bokurano: Aliens wants commodify us*

RahXephon: Aliens wants to change us against our will

Sailor Moon*: Aliens wants to invade us + eat us* 

Heroic Age: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Sousei no Aquarion: Aliens wants commodify us

Aquarion Evol: Aliens wants to invade us + commodify us (To be more precise they want to steal all of the women)

Top wo Nerae! Gunbuster: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Top wo Nerae2! Diebuster: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Uchuu Senkan Yamato 2199: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Muv-Luv Alternative: Total Eclipse: Aliens wants to eat us

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (I think it’s a anime?): Aliens wants to eat us (kinda)

Blue Gender*: "Aliens" wants to eat us

Captain Earth: Aliens wants to invade us?

Rinne no Lagrange: Aliens wants to invade us + oppress us

The Macross Franchise: Aliens wants to invade us 

Finfa Kikoutai Majestic Prince: Aliens wants to invade us

Kurogane no Linebarrels: “”Aliens”” wants to change us against our will

Seikai no Monshou: Aliens wants to invade us + oppress us

Godzila (cgi animated trilogy): Aliens are a hazard + change us against our will

Soukyuu no Fafner: Aliens wants to eat us* + change us against our will

Neppuu Kairiku Bushi Road*: Aliens are a hazard

Ultra man: Aliens are a hazard

Sky Girls: Aliens wants to eat us?

Argento Soma: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Sentou Yousei Yukikaze: Aliens wants to invade us

Gunparade March: Aliens wants to invade us

Silent Mobius: Aliens wants to invade us

I:Wish you Were here: Aliens wants to change us against our will

Reideen:  Aliens wants to invade us

Gene Shaft: Aliens wants to exterminate us

Starship Troopers (ova+movies): Aliens wants to invade us

And we can keep on going

  Of course there are some exceptions like :

Seikaisuru Kado: Alien in a space cube comes to help humanity

Level E: Comedy where some aliens are nice, some are not and others are simply mad

Urusei Yatsura: It is a romantic comedy…

Oban Star-Racers: All galactic species/races are “““fairly””” competing on a space race (but of course there is stigmas and tensions between the participants)

Red Line*: Again a space race

Space Dandy: Comedy where some aliens are nice, some are not and others are simply mad

Tetsuwan Birdy Decode*: Some aliens are responsible space cops (or citizens) while others are criminals

-------------------------------------

Total:

Hostile Aliens Tropes: 49 tropes out of 46 animes 

Aliens wants to invade us: 17

Aliens wants to oppress us: 3

Aliens wants to eat us: 9

Aliens wants to exterminate us: 8

Aliens wants commodify us: 3

Aliens wants to change us against our will: 10

Aliens are a hazard: 3

Humans are a eco-hazard towards Aliens: 2

  Exceptions: 7

-------------------------------------

IMPORTAN VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1CQ7Vwz8Eo

Pedro Pons

[sinsiriuslyemo]

Good afternoon guys!!  @delia26 is winner of yesterday’s giveaway!!! Congrats!! Here is episode 21!! Thank you to all of you who are reading, leaving comments, sending us messages and reblogs on this story!! We love you all!!

EPISODE 21

Rafael had just finished his sandwich when someone knocked on the door to his office. Looking up, he crumbled up the wrapper that had held his lunch and tossed it in the trash.

“Come in!” he called out.

The door opened and his assistant poked her head inside. “Lieutenant Benson is here to see you.”

“Send her in, thank you.”

Olivia strolled in with a soft smile. “Keeping busy?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” he replied. “Please tell me you're here to change me back into a busy man.”

“That I am,” she said with a nod. “Thirty-four year old male victim, Greg Dawson. He disclosed to Carisi that a female coworker assaulted him in the office late one night,” she replied.

“She assaulted him...okay,” he replied. “Does he seem credible?”

“He seems so, never had a complaint or so much as a late day to work. The guy’s squeaky clean on paper.”

“What does she say happened?” he asked.

“The exact opposite, Meagan Cassidy, twenty-six, claims that they were working on a project together when he forced her to have sex with him in the office. Amanda is with her now. Both of them are very descriptive in their stories.”

“Okay,” he replied, knitting his brows. “So, he said/she said. Rape kit? Outcry? Anything to support her side?” he asked.

“She disclosed to a coworker about, but she said she showered immediately after once she got home. Amanda suggested they go to the hospital anyway for a rape kit, she refused. Fin’s with the coworker now.”

“What’s your read on them?”

“My gut says she’s hiding something, just not sure what yet,” she answered.

“Either of them lawyer up?” he asked.

“Not yet, we haven’t charged either of them, still gathering evidence.” Her phone pinged and she looked down. “And that is Fin. The coworker she disclosed to, Genesis Rodriguez, confirmed the story Meagan Cassidy told us.”

“Okay...see if Rollins can convince her to go to the hospital for that rape kit. In the meantime, have Carisi vet them both,” he replied.

She nodded and turned her head to notice Carmen in the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Carmen said softly. “But your sister is out here, Mr. Barba.”

“Okay, give me a minute,” he replied before he looked back up at Liv. “Let me know what you find, and while you’re at it, see if there’s any kind of surveillance in the office building.”

Olivia nodded again and moved towards the door before heading out past Carmen.

“I gave her some paper, and some markers to keep her busy, I was worried she’d start peeking into other offices,” Carmen said with a soft smile. “Although she seems pretty content.”

“She’s not a child, Carmen,” Rafael replied in a chuckle. “Send her in and hold my calls.”

Izzy came in and held up the paper and markers to Rafael with a laugh. “Should I have drawn a picture of my family? I forget, what was the standard in elementary school?”

“Trace your hand and make a turkey,” he teased in response. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since the gender reveal party.”

“Busy, drawing. Speaking of which,” she said as she tugged out a little black sketchbook placing it in Rafael’s palm. “I...drew the baby his first book.”

Rafael flipped open the book, looking at an intricately sketched story of a baby-lawyer entitled, Briefcase and Burp-Cloths.

“It’s about a baby lawyer who puts other babies away for stealing milk and not taking naps. I didn’t know if it was gonna be a boy or a girl so I ended up drawing one for each gender. The other one is about a baby baker.”

“This is great, Izzy. Thank you,” he said with a grin as he glanced over each page. “You know, you could probably have a career in children’s books if you wanted. These illustrations are fantastic.”

Izzy smiled at him. “I’ve been thinking about doing children’s books.”

“You should, you’ve got a natural talent for it,” he answered. “Listen, I asked you here because I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Izzy nodded, getting comfortable on his couch. “I figured you wanted something, you usually don’t have me come to your office to chat.” She waited with a smile.

“Yeah...uh Carisi came by to see me last night and he told me that Vincent Montenegro was released on good behavior. I just wanted you to hear it from me and also make sure that you’re alright.”

Her face fell. “Oh,” she whispered. “That... must be terrible for the other girl. Knowing that he’s walking free, after everything he did to her. That’s cruel.”

“Yeah...I’m a little more concerned about you though,” he answered.

“Me?” She laughed, though she wasn’t convincing anyone. “This is just how Vincent is. Life comes easy to him, always has. I’m surprised they put him away in the first place…” Her bottom lip trembled for a moment before she shut her eyes. “That’s so crazy, thanks for telling me, Rafi.” She tested a smile on her face but it felt stiff, wrong.

“Izzy, I’m your brother, you don’t have to pretend with me,” he said, standing and moving to sit beside her. “It’s okay to be affected by this.”

“I’m just a little embarrassed I didn’t see it coming,” she said softly.

“Don’t be embarrassed, nobody saw this coming,” he answered.

Izzy closed her eyes, biting her lip before speaking again. “It’s okay,” she whispered to herself. “I’m gonna...go see my mom.”

“Izzy, wait,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Look, the good news is that he’s on parole, which means there’s a strong possibility that he’ll be too busy trying to meet the conditions of his parole to bother you, okay? But if you want, we can get you an order of protection.”

She shook her head. “No thank you. That won’t be necessary…” She stood up, knees nearly buckling for a minute. “I’m gonna go.”

“Do you want me to walk you?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Okay...call me,” he called out after her.

She nodded quietly before making her exit.

Things had finally gone back to normal since her mother and brother had left. The unspoken tension in her home had disappeared and Amber settled down in the living room with a smile. Her eyes traveled over the form of Troy as he sat on the floor with Fallon. He pretended to eat her fingers and toes with a loud munching noise as she screamed.

“Toy not eat!”

“But you're so yummy,” he said with a grin.

“Door!” Fallon said as a knock drew her attention away from the older man. “Door!” she informed as if Troy needed to be told twice.

“I got it,” Amber said, getting up and going to answer the door. She found a man in suit that she’d never seen before and smiled at him. “Yes?”

“Amber Woods?”

“That’s me,” she replied, brows knitting above her eyes as he handed her a folded notice.

“You’ve been served.”

Amber blinked, eyes widening as she stared at the paper. “Excuse me? By who?”

“I just deliver them, ma'am,” the man replied before walking back to the staircase.

Amber turned to Troy who was staring at her, frown on his face. “Served? For what?”

Amber tore open the envelope and her face fell, eyes widening. “My mother served me with a petition for custody.”

“What?”

“My mother is filing for custody of Fallon,” she whispered, eyes moving to her daughter.

“Mama sad?” Fallon moved to stand and wobble her way to Amber, hugging her leg.

Amber shut her eyes for a moment, trying to push down the feelings of nausea that hit her the moment she read the letter. “No little monster, mommy isn't sad,” she whispered. “Just a little confused.”

“Why would she do that?” Troy asked.

“I don't know...I don't understand. I thought our stay went fine.” She moved to pick up her daughter and sit down with her, staring at the letter.

“Well you have to fight it,” Troy said.

“Of course I do, what the fuck is she thinking?!” Amber snapped.

Fallon gasped, mouth falling open.

“Amber, come on...language, right?” Troy mumbled softly.

“Mommy say bad! Bad!” Fallon scolded, wagging her finger.

“Sorry,” Amber replied as she read over the petition. “Sh--” Her eyes went to Fallon and he pursed her lips before muttering, “Shucks.” I

“We can fight this,” Troy reminded her.

“Yeah...I know.”

Greyson sat on the couch in the living room, looking over the housing options his soon-to-be new employer had sent to him. He had requested both studio bedroom and one bedroom options, just in case Eddie decided to come with him. Pursing his lips, he let the mouse hover over the one bedroom as Eddie walked in, looking a little worse for wear.

“Hey, I’m glad you’re home. We really need to make a decision about Miami,” he said, knitting his brows after a moment. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he said honestly. “I’m really not,” he mumbled as he sat down beside Greyson. “Grey, we need to talk…”

“What happened? Are the twins okay?”

“They’re fine, it’s not about them. I just got some news and you were the first person I wanted and needed to tell.”

“What?”

Eddie bit his bottom lip, clearing his throat and taking a deep breath. “I just found out I have a son. He’s four years old, his name’s Mateo.”

Greyson’s face fell. “What are you talking about?”

“I ran into an ex at the park and saw him. There’s no mistaking the resemblance. He’s mine.”

“You have a...what?! You--what?!” Greyson stood abruptly, running a hand through his hair as he walked to the breakfast bar. “You have a son,” he said, slightly calmer.

“I have a son,” Eddie repeated.

“Okay, so...what now?” Greyson asked.

“I don’t know, I want to be in his life,” he said. “His mom told me she doesn’t want me involved but...it’s my kid Grey.”

Greyson’s face fell as he nodded and bobbed his shoulders. “Then be in his life.”

“But you mean the world to me, Grey. I love you. Just gimme some time to think. I need to plan my next move. But..this is my kid.”

“Eddie, what the hell are you even talking about? What is there to plan? You wanna be in his life, I get that. You can’t be in his life from Miami,” Greyson answered.

“I’m not sure his mom will let me be in his life.”

“What do you mean?” Greyson asked.

“My family. She doesn’t want him to be near the family. Not that I blame her.” Eddie ran a hand through his hair and looked at Greyson.

“So even if you stay, you won’t ever see him,” Greyson replied.

“Maybe, I don’t know. I can fight it. I can be a good parent.”

Greyson nodded. “Then you should do that.”

“Where does that leave us?” he whispered.

Greyson sighed softly, running a hand over his head. “I don’t know yet. I don’t know...I can’t keep myself here just because you want to stay. I’d understand why you would want to stay, but I can’t stay in New York. So I really don’t know.”

“Okay,” Eddie said softly. “Give me a little time. Let me figure this out.”

“You know when I’m leaving, so...just let me know what you decide, and then we’ll talk again,” Greyson replied.

Eddie nodded and moved over to Greyson, kissing his cheek. “I love you.”

Greyson nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He grabbed his keys from the counter. “I’m going out for some air.”

Eddie sighed and sat back down on the couch. Resting his face in his hands as Greyson walked out the door.

You silently thanked your mother for taking the kids today. You’d gotten a lot of housework done by the time Nevada got home. You smiled and gave him a wave of hello as you went to sit on the couch. “Careful, I just mopped.”

“Alright, thanks,” he replied, taking off his jacket and dropping it on the couch. He knitted his brows when he didn’t hear noises coming from upstairs and gestured in that direction. “How’d you get them so quiet?”

“Mami took them to eat dinner all together at that new diner. Lily’s ballet teacher told me today that she’s going to be the main sugarplum in the recital coming up soon.”

“Oh yeah? That’s good,” he replied. “What’d you do all afternoon?”

“Cleaning, it takes me all afternoon just to get this house looking tolerable.” You stretched out as you nodded to him. “What did you do?” Nevada’s phone took that moment to buzz in his pocket as he sat on the couch.

“Work,” he answered, reaching for his phone and looking to find Izzy’s name before answering it. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“I need you to send a message to someone,” she said, her voice rough from crying.

“What’s the matter, you okay?” he asked, furrowing his brows.

“Vincent Montenegro is out of prison,” she said softly. “I need you to send him a warning. A real warning.”

“Want me to rough him up?”

“Yes, I want him to know that coming near me or my family would be a really dumb idea,” she whispered.

“Alright, you know where he’s staying?” he asked

“No, I--”

“--Alright, that’s okay. Don’t worry, we’ll find him,” Nevada replied softly. “Okay? Don’t worry about it anymore.”

“If he comes near me, and tries to hurt me…” she began. “Will you hurt him?”

“Oye, what’d I just say? I’ll take care of it, don’t worry. Okay? He’s not gonna come near you and he’s not gonna hurt you, I promise. Okay?”

“Okay,” she sniffled. “Thank you so much, Nevada.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied before hanging up the phone. “Izzy,” he said as he sent a quick text to Chibby before turning to you. “That guy Vincent got out of prison.”

“What? Vincent’s out?” Your brows furrowed. “He barely served a few years,” you said in disgust. “Poor Izzy, she must be terrified.”

“Yeah, she didn’t sound too good. She wants me to pay him a little visit, so I got Chibby looking for him now.”

You nodded. “Thank you for doing that,” you said with a sigh. “Poor Izzy.”

“She’ll be alright,” he replied.

“What about Captain Williams? I love that you’re helping my sister but will it cause you trouble with him?”

“I’ll be careful,” he replied with a bob of his shoulders.

You narrowed your eyes slightly. “Captain Williams doesn’t seem like someone you can fuck around with. Vincent is on parole, so he’s probably going to be watched like a hawk. It will take next to nothing for them to find out you went and threatened him. You’re already on William’s shit list and who knows what he’ll do. Please, I am begging you at least not to go yourself, Nevada. He’ looking for reasons to take you down, whether they’re big reasons or not.”

Nevada sighed and let his head fall back against the couch. “Yeah, you're probably right. Okay, okay, I’ll send somebody else.”

“Thank you,” you said with a sigh of relief before turning back to the tv and settling on Forensic Files.

“Oh, that’s it? We’re done talking?” he asked with a smirk. “Cause the therapist said we should be spending fifteen minutes a day, connecting. You’re connecting with the...what is that?” He looked at the TV. “The fucking cops, really?” he asked in a chuckle. “Damn, woman, real subtle.”

You snorted a laugh and turned to him. “Alright, you’re right. How did work go?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “If you don’t wanna talk just tell me--”

“--No, I wanna talk--”

“--I’m not gonna answer that, you know why--”

“--Well, you could tell me about your day at the club. Did any dancers fall off the stage? Who gave the most lap dances? Did anyone get felt up?”

“Alright, alright...uh...that new girl, Cherry, la pobre, she’s not getting any requests for private dances,” he replied. “I think it’s cause she’s not that great at the seduction and teasing part of being a stripper, pero bueno.” He bobbed his shoulders. “What are you gonna do, right?”

“Is Cherry the one with the great new boobs or the one who accidentally knocked the Long Island iced tea on that businessman?”

“The Long Island chick,” he answered.

“Poor kid, seduction isn’t for everybody. What are you gonna do? Can you even fire a girl for not being flirty enough?”

“No, she’s a good girl and she’s really trying so I told her I’d try to help,” he replied, looking you over. “You okay with that? I won’t get hard or anything, swear to God.”

You thought for a moment before nodding. “Yeah that’s fine.”

“You sure? I could ask Omar to do it,” he replied.

“You’re the boss, if you think you can show her best then you should do it,” you answered.

“Alright. What about you? How was your day?”

“Exciting, I worked with the kids on the algebra functions today. Then at lunch the group of female teachers I try to avoid ignored me, which is a nice change. So I ate with Brenden in peace.”

The corner of his lips drew downward as he nodded. “Big day,” he teased.

“Any day I don’t quietly hear the nickname prison rat is a win in my book,” you said with a chuckle.

“Prison rat? What the hell is wrong with these bitches? You didn’t rat anybody out. Dumbasses,” he replied.

“I think they mean an actual rat, but it used to bother me a lot more than it does now. Bullies are a staple in life whether you’re thirteen or thirty six, I guess.” You offered him a smile. “I know the stuff they say isn’t true, that helps. And I know I have a family and a happy life, something they may not.” You shrugged.

“Course it’s not true, you don’t look like a rat,” he replied. “A monkey, maybe,” he teased, pinching your sides with a smirk.

You scrunch your nose and laughed. “Oh a monkey, huh? Then what does that make you?”

“A gorilla, what do you think?”

You stuck your tongue out at him and smiled for a moment. “Nah, your wife is a tough one. I'm not afraid of mean girls.” You held an arm out to show off your muscles.

“Hm, maybe more like a little chipmunk,” he said in chuckle, squeezing your upper arm with two fingers.

“Oye, don’t squish my muscles!” You laughed and swatted at him. He laughed with you, rubbing a hand over his face after a moment as he sighed.

“Fuck, when did our lives get so complicated, huh?” he asked rhetorically.

You thought for a moment then shrugged. “I don’t know,” you said honestly. “Maybe it always has been and we just didn’t notice before.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he mumbled.

You looked down at your hands then up to him, offering a smile. “I could use a beer, you?”

“Yeah, I’ll have one with you,” he replied.

You grabbed a beer for both of you sitting back down and handing him one. “Cheers,” you said with a grin.

He clinked his bottle with yours and twisted the cap open.  

You did as well, taking a long swig and burping, blushing bright red when you did. “Sorry,” you said with a laugh.

“Why are you sorry? Not like I haven’t heard you do it before,” he replied in a chuckle.

“Fair enough,” you said with another sip. “Did Izzy sound bad on the phone? I should call her later.”

He nodded, looking at you. “Yeah, you should definitely call her. She didn’t sound too good. A little shaken, you know?”

“I don’t blame her,” you mumbled, looking for your phone. “I’m gonna check on her. Be right back.”

“Okay,” he replied as you got up and left.

[livehealthynewsusa]

Watch An Exclusive Clip of The New CrossFit Film Out Today

If you’ve watched any of the documentaries about the CrossFit Games events of the past decade, or a handful of videos about the CrossFit Ball on YouTube, chances are you’ve consumed a visual feast from the Marston Sawyer and Heber Cannon.

Collectively known as Buttery Bros., they weathered the storm of CrossFit’s restructuring and firing, witnessed their implosion around Greg Glassman’s racist tweet, and documented their recovery under new CEO Eric Rosa.

Her new film, Resurgence, today is the story of the CrossFit Games 2020, which, due to the unprecedented restrictions to control the pandemic, saw a greatly reduced field of five men and five women.

Check out this exclusive clip of the film and read our interview with Marston and Heber below.

Men’s health: Give us the condensed version of the Buttery Bros. genesis.

MARSTON SAWYER: In the fall of 2018, we were fired from CrossFit HQ. We left California, moved to Utah and started Buttery Bros. It’s been two years and this is the second documentary we’ve made independently but them [CrossFit] also easily attach to this.

MH: If you could, what would you say to the two guys who are about to be fired from their jobs?

MRS: I would say that you will have a lot more options and that you are about to start something really exciting and fulfilling and fun. So don’t get too preoccupied with what you’ve done in the past and just know that the future is bright for both of you

MH: What was it like to start on your own?

LIFT CANNON: I think the first phase was figuring out that we wanted to stay in the CrossFit space and in the community. When I started CrossFit, I wanted to go to LA and direct movies. But I felt there was so much room to grow with this company in 2008-09. I felt like I was missing out on something if I didn’t jump on it.

Flash forward to 2018 and there’s so much chaos in the CrossFit space, but we have all these friends and connections – it just felt like such an opportunity. I wanted to take the chance and play CrossFit again. But do it yourself and see what we can do with it.

From then on it was about what we produce, how it should look and how we finance it. How would we shape it as a company? When we worked for CrossFit HQ we never had to think about it. So the first six months of Buttery Bros were like law, business school, and fatherhood in one insane package.

MH: Obviously you studied law and economics …

HZ: Yes totally!

MH: How did the chaos surrounding Greg Glassman’s tweet and the subsequent sale of the company affect you?

MRS: When that tweet came out everyone started saying they were boycotting the games and we were right in the middle of it trying to document this. The story tells how the athletes felt, but also the general community and how they felt. We are part of the CrossFit community and felt like we were stabbed in the back. We had helped grow this company from its inception into a truly professional, eye-catching sport that we were proud to make films about.

Then they let us go and took the company in a different direction that didn’t really align with what we created. When that happened, we felt like it was an opportunity to create the content that CrossFit didn’t want. As time went on, the company got more and more negative press and then this tweet, it was like wow – it seemed like this thing was going to collapse.

It was sad. Because we had seen how positively and wonderfully it had affected so many people’s lives, only to put it in such a negative light. It was a full 180. We got upset and just tried to tell people’s stories as best we could.

MH: A big part of your YouTube channel is spending real time with athletes and other members of the CrossFit community. Who is your new favorite person on the scene?

MRS: I would say our favorite newbie is Justin Medeiros. He’s just an aspiring kid who’s just plain positive. We followed him through the Mid-Atlantic CrossFit Championship and he has a great support team, his parents and everyone in his corner are great. He has a bright future for CrossFit and everything that moves forward. We just teamed up with him at our new nutritional supplement company Podium. It’s a great new relationship with this kid.

MH: How long have you been working on Podium?

HZ: Various companies had spoken to us for a while, but they wanted us to be one of their ambassadors or they were a brand we didn’t really like. So we were just trying to figure out what we wanted to do. Two of my favorite brands were Cellucor for the product and Ghost Life for the pictures. Well, this guy who had worked for these two companies turned to me and said he wanted to start a new line and company with us and what was I thinking?

I said, ‘Dude! Brilliant!’ And now that I was “in business and law school,” I can do this. In November 2020 we finally met him personally and discussed with him what it would look like and feel like. Our friend, a Mat Fraser, had just become a free agent, so we spoke to Mat and are thrilled to have him on board.

Another no-brainer was Craig Richie who is just a phenomenal YouTuber from the UK and we look forward to getting started. Every week there is something new and cool that happens.

MH: How much of your time do you spend on the business side now?

HZ: For a long time, 50% of our time was occupied by the economy. I remember going to Miami with Mat Fraser for an open workout announcement. We traveled all day and I emailed brands to see if they would sponsor the video, called between flights and layovers, tried to rent a car while talking to another brand but we could Don’t use their product because we didn’t have it with us and so on. Then edit photos that night until 3 a.m. and talk to other brands about the video we’re going to start the next morning.

Then we had to be professional and energetic on both sides of the camera to film all day before staying up all night to edit so we could upload it.

Now we’ve got to the point where we’ve streamlined the business side of things and hired a manager to take care of a lot. So when we have an initial conversation we can hand it over to him and he will do a lot of the grunt work and present us with things to make a decision about.

MH: To be fair, when you look at your early videos compared to now, you look a lot less tired …

MRS: In the beginning we stayed up all hours to do the editing. Partly because everything was time sensitive, but also because we tried to prove the concept to people, sponsors and brands. In the early days we went to an event, shot for three days, got very little sleep, and it was just me and Heber trying to grind and produce to prove ourselves. The event ended and we stayed up until completion and spent 12 hours editing it, so it was ready and fresh when we uploaded it the next day.

Now we’ve got to a point where we’ve brought in other editors so we can send out clips while we’re filming that they’ll insert and organize into a rough story that we can add our finishing touches to.

It means we can juggle things better when we need to. For example, we finished the movie while shooting new Buttery Bros content every week.

With the new film and working with CrossFit again, we were able to choose our dream team of people to work with and we could knock them out of the park. We want to work with new, young people who are really passionate. We have an editor on site and she looks forward to being taught and learning from us.

It’s amazing to go from those early days of the grind to something that is streamlined and that we can nurture.

MH: With the reduced field of 10 athletes in 2020, did you like the extra access and focus you could have on each of them for Resurgence?

HZ: Oh, as opposed to 180 in 2019!

MRS: It was definitely more intimate. In some films in the past, at the end of the weekend you stood on the podium with someone you didn’t see coming and you didn’t shoot with them all week!

HZ: I have never seen that as a disadvantage. You choose your characters and some of them don’t make the party. For me it’s a dramatic story. It should never be the story of the six people on the podium. You know, that’s six out of 80 athletes.

For this year it was great to have that reduced for us. We did this huge road trip and managed to be one on one with eight out of 10 athletes. It shows in the film when you have intimate conversations with most of your competitors.

MRS: Perhaps the craziest part about 2020 is that there were no fans and no music. Right there you could hear the breathing. One of the funniest parts is during the CrossFit Total, you could hear the announcers in the cabin say whether they looked good in the elevator or not. The athletes said, “I’m here! I can hear you guys! “

You could hear every coach yelling at them with tips and they almost tried to out each other from the sidelines. It was pretty fun.

MH: What was the moment of the 2020 Games for you?

MRS: In addition to Mat and Tia, who came across the line holding hands, it was the trail run for me where everyone had to turn around and run all the way back. They had tested it on the demo team the day before, so we got to experience it on a different scale. It was exciting to be part of this reveal and see these guys sell the soul to get done just to turn around.

You could never have done that with a large field and fans. It was a completely unique situation and it was really cool.

MH: Who would you like to see at the CrossFit Games 2021?

MRS: I would love to see Mallory O’Brien do really well as far as women go.

Herzog Loren Photography

HZ: I would like to see Emma Cary be fine. But Tia is always fascinating to look at. We watch a dynasty and the others fight for second place. It’s wide open on the men’s side. Glad to see Justin Medeiros well and I found Jayson Hopper’s performance in the semifinals really impressive. I would love to see Pat Vellner in the field again. He is unbelievable.

And then your boy Noah Ohlsen. He set up a really good training environment in Atlanta, so I’m curious to see if that pays off at the Games.

Resurgence by The Buttery Bros is available now on iTunes / Apple TV worldwide for £ 12.99. Find it here

David Morton David Morton is Associate Editor at Men’s Health, where he wrote, worked, edited and sweated for 12 years.

source https://livehealthynews.com/watch-an-exclusive-clip-of-the-new-crossfit-film-out-today/

[bibleteachingbyolga]

   For we do now behold thee gay and glad,             As at doomsday:       When souls shall wear their new array,    And all thy bones with beauty shall be clad. —George Herbert, “Death” (17–20)

Do you ever wonder if our faith can really be true? We outlandishly claim, “I believe in the resurrection of the body.” But we never see that happen to anyone. This last week, we celebrated our Easter hope. Jesus said, “Because I live, you also will live” (John 14:19). But the very air we breathe in our culture fills us with dread that this life is all there is.

The message we absorb is to live for now, because when our bodies stop, we stop; there is nothing more. This can seem like brave realism while our faith in life to come seems but a fantasy. How can we answer such reasonable doubts that plague even ardent believers in the midnight hours? I’ve been helped by imagining a literary duel between skepticism and faith. I speculate that this battle occurred between two of the greatest English poets, who wrote just a generation apart.

William Shakespeare (1564–1616) threw down a gauntlet through the graveyard scene in Hamlet. With rapier clarity, Shakespeare evoked our secret fear that in the end the most glorious person ends up as but a clod of dirt plugging a hole. A few years ago, I witnessed the power of Benedict Cumberbatch enacting this scene. I felt my faith reeling. Who could ever write an adequate answer? But not long after, I reread the short poem “Death” by George Herbert (1593–1633). What if Herbert’s poem deliberately took the blow of Hamlet’s realism and then, against the ropes of existential despair, deftly countered with a more triumphant hope?

Follow the Body

Decades earlier, even as a bored teenager enduring an interminable play, I snapped back to attention when Hamlet leapt into the grave and picked up the skull of Yorick, once the king’s jester. We’re fascinated and terrorized to see what lies under our skin. The skull is, of course, necessarily a dead person, and so it has ever symbolized the power of death. It is the emblem of the wisdom tradition of memento mori: remember that you die. As far back as Genesis 3:19, we are reminded, “You are dust, and to dust you shall return.” The bones in a grave grimly demand that we recall how quickly beauty fades and life flees away.

Hamlet remembers the full face of Yorick as he examines the ghoulish, unintended grin of a skinless skull. Once Yorick set the boy Hamlet laughing as they played and joked. But now, “My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed. . . . Where be your gibes now? . . . Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table at roar?” (5.1.194–98). The merry crowd-pleaser has only dirt for company.

This sight and smell and feel of bones in a grave cause Hamlet to consider the fate of man:

To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bunghole [a plug in a cask]? (5.1.209–11)

The great conqueror Alexander has decomposed into dust, which may now be but corking a keg. Such is the humiliation of our mortal decay. Hamlet continues, picking up a biblical cadence before slamming into the mediocrity of our common fate:

Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam; and why of that loam, whereto he was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel? (5.1.216–19)

We hear an echo of Paul’s great summary of the gospel: “Christ died . . . he was buried” (1 Corinthians 15:3–4 KJV). But Hamlet does not follow Paul to resurrection. Rather, he views our fate as the Genesis return to dust. Further transformation through the centuries means only that the clay that was once us may be used for the most menial purposes. The hard-packed dirt of the plug in the cask of ale at the pub could contain the same molecules as once comprised the body of a mighty king.

Shakespeare’s scene has leveled a serious challenge to faith in the resurrection. It’s as if he says, “Follow the body!” Those who made thousands quake with their power may now be a clump of earth keeping the wind out of a peasant’s wall. Follow the body and see that we do not rise. We merely decompose.

Who has the literary power to answer this scene? What writer can outmaneuver Shakespeare in exposing this primal fear that there’s nothing more than this life?

Beyond These Bones

Not long after attending Hamlet, I happened to reread George Herbert’s “Death.” I jolted with the realization that this could indeed be a direct literary answer to Hamlet’s despair. (In the academic and court circles in which Herbert moved as a young man, awareness of Hamlet would have been as high as what we have of Hamilton today. I think it’s likely that Herbert saw the play, and almost certain he had at least read it.)

With Hamlet in the Grave

Death once again is personified as a skull. The poem opens with words that Hamlet could have spoken:

   Death, thou wast once an uncouth hideous thing,             Nothing but bones,       The sad effect of sadder groans,    Thy mouth was open, but thou couldst not sing. (1–4)

For readers in the early seventeenth century, “Death” easily evoked Hamlet in the graveyard. The merry tunes of Yorick were silent in the mouth of a skull. In fact, Herbert’s poem gets more graphic than Shakespeare’s scene. He takes us beyond Yorick’s jesting at a feast to his dying with the moans of terminal suffering, surrounded by the grieving sighs of those who stood by. The juxtaposition between the boisterous laughter at table and the groans upon the bed of death makes this skull become hideous in our hands. To hold the remains of a living person as we imagine his pangs of death seems uncouth: totally inappropriate. In this duel, Herbert will not let Shakespeare best him in horrific realism.

Even in this first stanza, Herbert is already building the foundation of his counter-hope to death. The “sadder groans” remind us of Romans 8: “We know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now” (Romans 8:22 KJV). After the fall of humanity, death entered creation and everything “was made subject to vanity” and placed in “the bondage of corruption” (Romans 8:20–21 KJV). We groan under the futility that everything living in this world must die.

But the glorious twist in Romans 8 is that this subjection to mortality occurred as an act of hope on God’s part. Rather than let our sin be eternalized, God introduced a natural end until the time comes for the full liberation of all creation into new life (Romans 8:21 KJV). So the groans of death are also birth pangs, evoked by our longing for “the redemption of our body” (Romans 8:23 KJV). We groan not just in hopeless sorrow, but precisely because we intuit that there is more to come.

Herbert’s next stanza continues in a way that recalls Hamlet’s gruesome question to the gravedigger: “How long will a man lie i’ the earth ere he rot?” (5.1.168). The sexton’s reply of eight or nine years fits within the poem’s expectation of decay:

   For we considered thee as at some six,             Or ten years hence,       After the loss of life and sense,    Flesh being turned to dust, and bones to sticks. (5–8)

Herbert has taken his readers right into the grave with Hamlet, observing what happens to people we know in the decade after they die. We feel the loss of “life and sense.” Hamlet’s reflections looked back farther in time, pondering the results of decomposition through the scattering centuries. That’s why he makes us feel that all human history is encompassed in decay. But Herbert’s next stanza reveals that Hamlet actually had a narrow view:

   We looked on this side of thee, shooting short;             Where we did find       The shells of fledge souls left behind,    Dry dust, which sheds no tears, but may extort. (9–12)

Normally, we look on this side of death, the side of material life returning to the earth. That view, declares Herbert’s poem, is shallow. We shoot short. We come up with only a partial answer to what happens to us. The poem wants us to absolutely, realistically follow the body from flesh to dust, from crown to beer barrel. But not to stop there.

Souls Reclothed

Something has happened to give a longer — much longer — and higher view of death:

   But since our Savior’s death did put some blood             Into thy face;       Thou art grown fair and full of grace,    Much in request, much sought for, as a good. (13–16)

This is the turning point in the contest. This is the suplex move in a wrestling match, when one combatant uses the full weight of his opponent against him. It is a move that risks defeat and dire injury as the wrestler lifts his opponent, leans fully back, and then flips the other over his head. In theological terms, God created humanity, and humanity sinned, inviting ubiquitous death into creation. But once upon a glorious time, God entered the death-filled world as a man. That God-man died. And paradoxically defeated death. Jesus took the full force of all our dying into himself. He alone among men did not merit death. But on the cross he freely embraced it. He gathered death to himself until it killed him. That appeared to be Jesus’s defeat. Instead it was his suplex. He flipped death in resurrection.

Christ died by exsanguination. It appeared that precious blood was spilled in waste upon the stone and dirt of Golgotha. But Herbert makes us imagine that Christ’s blood was poured into death’s skull, bringing death to life. Paul wrote, “The last enemy to be destroyed is death�� (1 Corinthians 15:26). Jesus declared, “Love your enemies” (Matthew 5:44). But who could imagine that Jesus included death itself as an enemy to be loved back to life? Here is the genius and novelty of Herbert. Jesus by dying made a friend of death for us! Now death is someone on everyone’s guest list as the life of the party — or, more correctly, as the one who ushers us into the life of the party.

Herbert describes why:

   For we do now behold thee gay and glad,             As at doomsday:       When souls shall wear their new array,    And all thy bones with beauty shall be clad. (17–20)

He echoes Paul: “Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump . . . and the dead shall be raised incorruptible” (1 Corinthians 15:51–52 KJV). Grim death, personified as a skull, now becomes personified in glad souls reclothed in everlasting bodies. Death’s bones will be transformed from bunghole stopper to resurrected beauty.

So Herbert concludes with a peacefulness in direct contrast to Hamlet’s agitated melancholy:

   Therefore we can go die as sleep, and trust             Half, that we have,       Unto an honest faithful grave:    Making our pillows either down, or dust. (21–24)

Pillows of Dust

Herbert met the challenge from Hamlet’s holding Yorick’s skull. He owned the graphic realism, embraced it, and then exposed how mere skepticism is ultimately a failure of imagination, a narrow response to the reality opened up by Christ. The riches and depth of Jesus’s answer make the realism of Hamlet seem shallow. Our Savior came as a man to the place where all die. He came in such a way that, paradoxically, God could die. His suplex move on the cross not only defeated but transformed death. He put some blood back into death’s face. In a sense, he reconciled with his last enemy. He turned the other cheek and made, on our behalf, a friend of death for those in Christ.

I confess that Hamlet’s challenge has sometimes unnerved me. But I give thanks that I have a literary champion. Herbert took up the skull and embraced death as an agent of transformation from lowliness to glory. Death’s “bones with beauty shall be clad.” And we can lie down in peace, whether on a pillow of down in our beds or of dust in our graves.