#the laszlo plot was one of his best

[cottoncandysprite]

Honestly the more I think about Freddie the more I both hate it and admire it

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E5 "Local News" thoughts

Vampires being scared of the dumbest shit and making a situation worse than actually is ("Brain Scramblies", "The Curse") its one my favorites recurring plots.

This one doesn't top "The Curse", but it's not a fair comparison considering S2E4 is probably one of the best episodes this show have ever made.

LOVE LOVE LOVE that Guillermo is so caught up in his own drama that he forgets his mother's literal birthday!! I also love when the show remind us that he can be selfish and scummy and not the poor innocent angel some of yall wanted him to be for whatever reason.

I repeat my love for Colin making all these traps to defend their lives. It's so refreshing seeing him being part of the group and not the typical "the vampires are crazy and Colin rolls his eyes at their stupidity".

🚨🚨🚨GUILLERMO SINGING THE FEMALE PART OF "MI CUCU" THIS IS A LATINOS ONLY EVENT, GRINGOS GO HOME!!!🚨🚨🚨

Guillermo's mom with her best intentions placing the crucifix necklace on him who cant tell her how much it hurts: something something catholic son who was afraid of coming out for 30 years and now he has another (worse) secret that he's afraid to share something something.

I miss when Laszlo and Nadja were always on the same page. Saying that I NEED to see better pics of Laszlo's plans he had scattered all over the room.

Biggest laugh of the night: The dolly suddenly having blonde hair too (i have the stupidest sense of humor).

One-sided Guidja real.

So Nandor IS upset at Guillermo not being there to prevent him of doing stupid shit. The smallest nandermo crumb so I can't die of hunger.

I love that the Guide had tv lady as a snack, one win for my lesbian loser.

Here's the thing: I don't feel that bad for Guillermo. Honey, you wanted this. You chose to become a vampire. You actively seek it. Even your "friend" with +500 years of vampiric experience told you it isn't that great of an existence but you ignored it and continued to wanting this and rushed behind the back of your friends and family to become one. So… reap, sow, etc, etc.

I miss his cool vampire slayer era, this season his role has been mostly "being anxious".

I know its tv budget, but those CGI traps and balls of fire looked so bad 😭

Anyway, where's the Djinn??

[megaawkwardhuman]

if you can't tell by my sudden increase in reblogs I FINALLY WAS ABLE TO WATCH THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF SEASON 5!!!!!

within two episodes guillermo has been covered in blood twice 10/10 best season

OK TIME TO ACTUALLY GIVE MY THOUGHTS FEOJBWDIUW

note: I will try to keep my episode 1 and episode 2 thoughts together and I'll also try to keep them in the order they happen but overall it's just what I think about as I type

LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOVE seeing them fuck with the whole this is a documentary thing

I wanna see guillermo lose his patience with the documentary crew and kill one of them at some point LMAOOOO

HOPEFULLY WE GET MORE DEREK (and by the looks of it we will)

THE VAMPIRE EYES OEIJ2HBIHJW2OHW0JDBEHFK DO2IPJEFBHKVJHIPJ

overall I'm curious to see how memo's transformation goes I wanna see how creative they get with the whole fucked up vampire thing

oh yeah and the way they're going about the whole guillermo being turned by derek not nandor thing reads like he cheated on him AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE OK WHEN NANDOR LEARNS ABOUT IT

NANDOR IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO THINGS FOR MEMO OJIQNBDIJBEIHBWIUQD THE ONE FUCKING SEASON WHERE GUILLERMO IS GOING TO HAVE TO AVOID HIM FOR BOTH OF THEIR SAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ok but like guillermo why didn't you think about the possibility that this would come and bite you in the ass? like if it was that easy MORE FAMILIARS WOULD LEAVE THEIR MASTERS??!?!

glad that at least ONE vampire feels that something is up with guillermo

ok but we can all agree that laszlo is lying to nandor when he says he's not great at hypnotism right?

OK SO GUILLERMO'S GLASSES MIGHT DIE ONCE ALL OF THIS OVER (at least I'll have a season to morn)

sean you hot mess never change

POOR GUIDE JUST WANTS FRIENDS :(((

ok I'm assuming the good act nadja is going to do has to do with the doll and the whole body swap plot we're going to get

NADJA IS SO HAPPY GOING THROUGH LITTLE ANITPAXOS OFKENOEIJNJINIEEBHBE

nandor trying to fit in is a fucking moooooood

THEM STEALING A FUCKING COP CAR IHBIDCWBUIBWIEJOFJBOJBOE

sean and his gang are just a bunch of high schoolers in adult clothes and I love that for them

and finally the 2nd episode just ending with laszlo telling guillermo he's FUCKING HAD ME DYING FOR A SOLID MINUTE

overall great start to the season

I'm scared for my blorbos

and if guillermo isn't covered in blood at least once per episode I'll be disappointed /j

[episodeoftv]

Round 5 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

The Good Place: 1.13 Michael’s Gambit

Shawn has decided that Fake Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, and Tahani must decide among themselves in thirty minutes which two of them should go to The Bad Place. Chaos and confusion ensues.

I’m a firm believer in spoilers not ruining a plot twist if the twist is good enough and this is the best proof I’ve seen of that. Yes, it was intended to be shocking, but it made perfect sense with everything we’d seen before. Every scene leading up to this episode had a double meaning, one you get the first time you watch if you haven’t been spoiled, and one you get every time you rewatch. Also the fact that this show was a network sitcom and yet it was plotty enough that you couldn’t just turn it on at any episode and get what was happening is so groundbreaking, and this episode turned it up to 11 by blowing up its entire premise.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael%27s_Gambit

What We Do in the Shadows: 5.03 Pride Parade

cw for nudity and sex (the sex scene is completely clothed, common for this show).

The vampires help Sean host a Pride parade; Nadja helps her doll achieve a long-held dream.

So much is happening. Nandor's having his little jealousy arc over Guillermo spending more time with Laszlo than with him. Meanwhile, Guillermo's transformation slowly and grotesquely continues. Laszlo makes suncream from Guillermo's sweat and literally gets to frolic in the sun for the first time in centuries! Also, they try to disprove some common vampire myths, like having to count grains of rice that fell on the floor (true) or their powers of flying. Nandor claims he can fly to outer space, and tries to prove it only to impress Guillermo. Meanwhile, Nadja (who broke the legs of the Doll Being Possessed By The Spirit Of Deceased Human Nadja offscreen between seasons) switches bodies with Spirit Of Deceased Human Nadja (yes, in this show a woman is possessed by the spirit of herself). We find out that Human Nadja died a virgin, so they enter her into a speed dating event. It turns out that Human Nadja is even worse at interacting with modern humans than Vampire Nadja is. Nandor then flies to space, equipped with a go-pro and a selfie stick. They then literally have Colin Robinson ALSO possess the body of Vampire Nadja, which ends in some sorta Harry Potter 1 (it's the best comparison ok) type creature with Nadja's face in the front and Colin Robinson's face in the back. Meanwhile, the underlying plot of this episode is that they are all actually helping their Human Neighbour Sean with organizing a pride parade (a ploy by him to increase his voting block with the LGBTQ+ community), and finally the parade begins. Nandor literally crashes it as he falls down from space, getting up buck naked and slightly charred, gloating to Guillermo about how he did it. Then the pride parade begins, and the highlight is clearly Guillermo (who came out as gay to his family last season), having his own little cart where he's just holding a sign that says "Gay Man". He's been scrutinizing this whole event from the second it was suggested, but in the end, he slowly starts to get into it, learning to enjoy himself. The episode ends with Laszlo fucking the body of his wife, which inhabits two different people, while his actual wife in her doll body sits on his shoulder. This is very much consensual by all parties involved.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_Parade_(What_We_Do_in_the_Shadows)

[the-letterbox-archives]

file (1)12345X-31-000: wip qna

thank you @nczaversnick for the tag!! this one is a wip qna, and it was so fun to answer!

q1. “what’s the first part of your wip that you created?”

tales from a dying heart

book 1, sweetheart and crow’s story. it was originally a short story submission written in present tense, but the original themes and plot line remained true, just incredibly expanded upon.

the rockdove promise

it was originally a group idea, between myself and 2 other writers. all the story was meant to be split into 3 povs across the 3 of us, however none of those characters survived into the final cut. in the beginning it was called ‘the rockdove treaty.’ when we couldn’t continue the story as it was originally conceived, i picked it up and reworked the characters, swapping out ‘treaty’ for ‘promise,’ since that felt more personal and in-keeping with the revised themes of the story.

insincere.

this began as it is today, it’s a vent story. it’s representative of my own struggles with motivation and happiness. there’s not too much thought behind it, but the symbolic connections of comfort in sleep and overstimulation to the ‘real’ world hit close to home for me, and i find writing this story comforting.

on kingston alley

this one originated from a tag prompt from a tag game with @noxxytocin that i felt i could best express in a format different from my traditional style. i kept kingston alley as a script-formatted series for continuity and because i wanted a change of pace. it’s a lot more fun this way in my opinion!

school rules

this began as a novel that i put on hiatus because i got busy with other projects. conceptually it was the same, but i’ve since changed all the characters and formatting to make it more unique and interesting to write. i’m also just a sucker for audio dramas and good dark academia series, which is why i was drawn to reviving this story.

dulcinea is dead

this story was inspired by a writing prompt shared to me by @thecrazyalchemist that evolved into my first sci-fi story about fate, guilt, and mother-daughter relationships.

q2. “if your story was a tv show, what would the theme song/intro be?”

tales from a dying heart

“disembodied mind” by sparkbird, though it would make sense if the song changed for each book.

the rockdove promise

probably the hardest one for me to choose, but probably “bigmouth strikes again” by the smiths.

insincere.

something penelope scott for sure, probably “7 o’clock” or “feel better”.

on kingston alley

either “unsweetened lemonade” by amélie farren or “route 66” by blue jay walker.

school rules

“a word to the wise” from adamandi!

dulcinea is dead

a more rock/metal cover of “don’t cry for your daughters eve” by lydia the bard.

q3. “what are your favourite characters you’ve made? why?”

tales from a dying heart

between chalice and seeker, they’re both so silly. on a more serious note to describe them, i enjoy writing them and exploring their relationships with the heart and their personalities.

the rockdove promise

from the introduced cast, it would have to be laszlo, i just love thinking about him and how he’ll affect the story going forward. out of all the cast, it’s a tie between laszlo and the dread prince, king of the gods. his personality is really fun to conceptualise, as well as his motivations and relationship with laszlo.

insincere.

all of the insincere. cast borrows greatly from facets of myself and/or social issues i want to explore, so i’m not sure i could pick a favourite. as of right now, it’d probably be ven, since i relate to them quite a bit.

on kingston alley

i couldn’t pick between faye and daphne, i’m just so pleased with how both their characters are developing, especially in the minisodes i’m writing to explore them outside of the pressure of the story! 

school rules

sunny, and that’s not just because she’s the only speaking character thus far. her personality is so fun to conceptualise; she’s probably the only mc that gets to crack jokes as frequently as she does and i just love to write her, i’m especially excited to see how she develops going forward.

dulcinea is dead

probably dulcinea. she’s easier for me to write than sasha, because i am not a mother with an awful relationship with humanity. additionally, dulcinea’s search for purpose resonates with me, her drive to accomplish an unattainable goal is both incredibly relatable and tragically doomed.

q4. “what other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?”

(i’m gonna skip this one because i don’t fully understand it in a way i feel right answering, and i don’t wanna expose myself for the fandoms i’m in lol).

q5. “how do characters travel/get around?”

tales from a dying heart

usually walking or horse riding. the heart is wherever it needs to be, so characters don’t have to travel too far to get to it.

the rockdove promise

horse, carriage, and sometimes walking, but not very often. seafaring options are also available, but due to fear around the ocean god, most people are averse to travel by water for fear of shipwrecks.

insincere.

walking, but the pseudo-psychedelic weirdcore aesthetic to it means that travel is sometimes redundant or brushed over.

on kingston alley

walking, by bike or by car. it’s a small town, so it’s very easy to get around, but bikes and cars are quite popular.

school rules

no student is allowed off-campus, since spencer’s is an old boarding school and the story doesn’t take place over holidays that allow students to go home. even so, the girls get around by walking.

dulcinea is dead

spaceship!!

q6. “what part of your wip are you working on right now?”

tales from a dying heart

all of it at once. currently i’m devoting most of my attention to working on book 1, but all of the books are being worked on in tandem.

the rockdove promise

chapter 3!

Insincere.

lesson 4, as of right now it has no title however.

on kingston alley

episode 4 and minisode 2, centred around faye this time!

school rules

episode 2 – the dux!

dulcinea is dead

chapter 2, from dulcinea’s pov! it might be a while off since i’ve never written sci-fi and thus am inexperienced in making alien races, and i wanna get that right.

q7. “what aspects/tropes do you think will draw your audience in?”

(but because i’m not great at naming tropes i’ve gone more for themes/genres)

tales from a dying heart

the themes of love, ranging from platonic, romantic, familial, and ideological, and tragedy (plus a bit of bloody imagery is always welcome).

the rockdove promise

royalty, family relationship, and political intrigue (to the best of my ability haha), as well as a healthy dose of cosmic/divine horror.

insincere.

new weird/speculative, weirdcore, indie satire.

on kingston alley

small-town horror, found footage medium, mystery, and unrequited love.

school rules

dark academia, radio show medium, and competition plot (repressed private school girls do some murders).

dulcinea is dead

sci-fi, chosen one/fate, found family, and family relationship.

q8. “what are your hopes for your wip?”

i’ll answer for everything at once here, because i have similar feelings about all my wips in this context. firstly, i want all of them completed and released in the archives, that’s the goal. i’ve published books before, but the length of these stories don’t feel long enough to publish (but that may be subject to change) unless revised. beyond that, i don’t have the means to expand these projects. i like them as they are, and can’t really expand or publish them beyond the context of the archives. i may start more writing accounts on other social medias, but i have no idea how to manage that haha. if i were to hypothetically adapt some of my wips to something bigger, on kingston alley would make a cool indie series (it’s already a script too, so it could work!), school rules could make a good audio drama podcast like the greats, and dulcinea is dead and insincere. could be animated indie series (if that were to happen, sissy gets rubberhose animation. i don’t make the rules).

tagging @introchasingstars, @honeybewrites, @paeliae-occasionally, @ominous-feychild, @the-golden-comet,

@noxxytocin, @moltenwrites, @tc-doherty, @the-ellia-west, @theverumproject,

@thecrazyalchemist, @laylathewordwitch, @dragonedged-if, @leitereads, @autism-purgatory,

@gioiaalbanoart, @drchenquill, @fenmere, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @melpomene-grey,

@yourpenpaldee, @corinneglass, @agirlandherquill, @willtheweaver, @davycoquette,

@frostedlemonwriter, @glassfrogforest, @princeofhags, @wyked-ao3, + open tag!!

[ladykatibeth]

Why Guillermo Turning Back Human Was An Awful Writing Choice, A Meta

So here’s the thing, for a “what you want isn’t what you need” plot to make sense and improve a story, it has to do one of two things

1. Convincingly establish that the want and the need are mutually exclusive or

2. That the need is more beneficial to certain goals (especially emotional fulfillment ones) than the want.

It also has to establish that the need hasn’t already been met somewhere else, and that the reasoning behind discarding the want makes sense.

What does/has Guillermo wanted? His main 13 year goal, vampirism. He worked unpaid for years, got people killed, dealt with disrespect and completely fucked up his sleeping schedule to achieve this.

There’s a few things I think of that Guillermo could reasonably be said to need based on the show so far:

1. A community/family outside of his biological one

2. Respect from the Vampires, especially Nandor

3. To explore/get in touch with himself/his roots

4. Stay in touch with bio family

5. Gain confidence

6. Deal with his repression

7. Experience human things he may have been missing out on due to his chosen profession

8. Expanded social network

9. Maybe resolve his Nandor feelings?

Unfortunately none of these meet the requirements, they have all already been achieved or aren’t mutually exclusive.

Guillermo has in his own words two families, he has achieved this, as far back as season three he’s using his position in the family to get political favors but still a little excluded….(Note: The vampires assume Guillermo will be around, it’s The Guide who makes him go to the closet, and that lasts like…an episode?)

By 4 he’s included in the 5 person co-parenting of Colin Robinson, gets his own space in the home improvement show, is Nandor’s literal best man, helps Nandor negotiate wishes, is employed in finance at the nightclub….

(Note: Guillermo taking on a care taking role still is not something that’s exclusive with being in a family, in his own words he takes care of people he considers family just as a matter of who he is)

So….not unfulfilled. Also knocks off 2, in S4 he’s included in everything, he’s fairly respected he’s fairly confident (more on this later) even if one made the argument that he needs to have this achieved /as himself/ first…he has. As his regular human self. It wouldn’t be less as a vampire. It fulfills neither 1 or 2 or 3 for this plot.

Okay so…3 and 5 go together. Guillermo needs to connect with himself as a badass slayer, gotten some power not necessitated by being . a vampire, and gain some confidence, be more willing to stick up for him—

……..

*Looks at all of S2 and S3* hmmmm

So Guillermo up until now has killed hundreds of vampires, extremely well, become super badass, beat Nandor in 2 fights, figured out how to balance his inherited vampire murder instincts and his love of vampires….well…seems like a success. He’s a badass vampire slayer. He’s connected with his background.

He feels comfortable making fun of and criticizing the vampires (the perfect FUCKING wedding, so she’s your number 2…., his “is that necessary” about Nandor and Laszlos tmi details, bickers with Nadja about her need for a golden toilet…) he’s got confidence. He can stick up for himself. So 3 and 5…..not relevant.

Get respect from Nandor.

Nandor calls him a badass slayer multiple times. He calls him a warrior, let’s Guillermo bicker at him, respects his advice (see Nandor and Guillermo negotiating with the Djinn) makes him his best man, calls Guillermo his closest companion…..as a familiar…

Sure there’s Freddie…but honestly I don’t think Nandor wouldn’t also do that to a vampire. Nandor is in general…a huge bitch (Queen bitch ha)

Which brings me to 6 and 9

Since we’ve already seen Guillermo be respected by Nandor as a human and we know Nandor dates human women regularly there’s no issue with him being in a relationship with Guillermo when he’s a vampire. It wouldn’t imply it’s necessary for him to be a vampire to date, because of the background info we know. Him resolving his feelings is species neutral.

Same with dealing with his repression, he doesn’t need to be a human or vampire to do that.

So maybe it’s the human things he missed out on which as far as I can think might be…sunlight? And going on dates…

He goes on dates with his boyfriend Freddie during the day, very normal and human…he enjoys it! That must be it!

His long distance English boyfriend. Who he doesn’t need to commit much to. Then when he’s upset with Nandor for the whole two Freddie’s thing…it’s about Nandor and Guillermo. Not Freddie and Guillermo.

Guillermo’s upset, but not enough to hold a long term grudge. He seems to mostly care about experiencing mundanity….as a concept not a practice

He quickly goes back to the uze, aside from food and the sun (which he’s already sacrificing somewhat (food quality and day time) but still experiencing while he’s been working. Anything else can be done at night. As a vampire.

His family…Well Guillermo’s mother calmly let Nandor look at his baby photos, a vampire she has no personal connection to, and was quickly waved off from talking to Guillermo. Nothing implies this will be the line. Guillermo keeps himself from killing his vampiric loved ones on the regular.

So 4 and 7 cleared.

Expanded social network….the witches, Derek, Jenna, also if Laszlo from the 18th century can make human friends there’s no reason a vampire Guillermo has to stop.

None of these things are mutually exclusive with being a vampire, he’s already achieved all the emotional fulfillment things as a human familiar…the needs are met.

Okay so…..

What does it make sense for Guillermo to want? To really think about as a human?

Family? Check for bio and vamp. New career options? He can do that as a vampire and I don’t see the show going in that direction. Nandor? He can do that as a vampire. Respect? Gained. Power? Gained. Confidence? Gained.

What can Guillermo being a human still add to the narrative…

Oh we can see human Guillermo with newfound respect and confidence being part of the family!

Wait we’ve already seen that, in season 4! Multiple times! That’s just a repeat of 4!

Guillermo as a full vampire?

What does this add?

Well….

How does he handle his new powers? We get to see Nandor guiding Guillermo through his new experiences (cute). How does he handle his family? Does he hide it? Is he comically bad at it? Do they get a new familiar? How does he handle that? Is he more lenient? Does he think they need to earn it like he did?

How does Nandor adjust to vampire Guillermo? How does Guillermo adjust to not the sunlight and food restrictions? Oooh we’d get to see him learn how to hunt….What about technically being a member of the same species now, but one that’s still very very young in comparison?

It adds a lot. Questions and concepts. You want a narrative that adds interest. That’s why this route was the worst to take.

It didn’t leave new room to facilitate character growth that wasn’t already there in season 3 and 4. The reasoning for hesitation doesn’t make sense based on Guillermo’s character. He spent 13 years doing murder and murder adjacent things.

(And seriously if I was one of Guillermo’s victims I’d hate him so much more if I found out he was 100% fine with feeding me to his friends but it wasn’t even to become a vampire,I died for, I guess, nothing)

It’s the same concept as previously, it actively stifles concept exploration….its not about Guillermo having to get what he wants, its just bad for the story! It’s a poor use of this trope.

It doesn’t make it more interesting. There’s so much humor possibilities for human Guillermo too. It wasn’t a necessary reset.

It wasn’t even necessary to show nandermo as possible, Nandor has always loved Guillermo in the show, he put in the time to make him glitter art! In S1 E1! Plus this ships is at its best when it’s a little mutually toxic! Mutually! Key word!

It’s just…….it adds nothing. The worst thing a writer can do.

[2offayyo-kzt]

(update : I'm wrong, actually it has been told in a podcast, Seanie isn't going to die yeyyy :D)

wwdits theory : Why I think wwdits S5 will end on Sean's death.

I know that the plot twist of season 3 was already the supposed death of a character (Colin) fortunately we learned at the last second that he has reincarnated

But let me explain, we reached the ideal tension for Sean's death to be relevant to the story.

With only 40 minutes of screentime, Sean managed to mark the spirit of the fandom in spite of his short appearance

So much so that when we mention the character, we immediately want to shout "SEANIEEEEE", while other characters who appeared often have marked us less (Simon, or even the Guide who has been present for more than three seasons but we really know nothing about her)

Whereas for Sean, we all got attached to him in a certain way.

Already because he managed to get rid of the cliché of a racist homophobic white man where he could have fallen very easily into

He appears regularly throughout the seasons and is always one of the characters who delivers the best and often funniest lines

We know enough about him to get attached to him (his 'previously' messed up marriage, his alcoholism, his gambling addiction, his difficult relationship with his father) but not enough to consider him as a main character

"You're my main man. I'd die for you. " he told Laszlo in the Casino episode

And Sean has been known to predict events in the show :

Like when he compared Colin to a fetus or said that Nandor was probably a big sleeper (super slumber)

Sean avoided death from over-hypnosis (probably because it was already empty/hj), and he almost died in the Pine Barrens episode three times :

One while sleeping with a loaded gun under his neck, another time while being attacked by the Jersey Devil, and then by shooting himself in the foot.

So my final theory is that out of love, he will sacrifice himself for Laszlo, because all their friendship is based on acts of service.

And his death will impact the fandom enough without killing a main character.

So I hope that Nandor will have a wish left if this scenario happens.

[cookinguptales]

Sigh... Okay. I've had a couple weeks away from wwdits and I've finished the major work project that has Consumed Me so I guess I can talk about my thoughts a little bit.

There are a lot of reasons that the very end of s5 bothered the hell out of me and a lot of reasons that I hate it. There are things I liked about the last two episodes (most of them being... before the last ten minutes of the season) like that metaphor coming full circle and Nandor giving Guillermo a better (uhhh metaphorical) sexual experience where he was listened to, cared for, supported, and helped along at his own pace. I do have interest in ideas like Nandor's loneliness being worsened because he believed that Guillermo would have a terrible time as a vampire and knowing that avenue of immortality is closed to him. But none of that feels worth it, I guess, and here's why.

Yes, I hated the whole... Guillermo realized that he never really wanted to be a vampire thing, at least how it was done. It wasn't Guillermo realizing that he didn't need vampirism (which I would've been quite happy with) but learning that he just didn't have the stomach for it. I hated the way that seemed to betray Guillermo's earlier characterization. I hated the way that made the "supernatural as queer, as Other" metaphors they've been using with very little subtlety suddenly feel very problematic indeed. I hated the way this made it canon that Guillermo really does see vampiric lives as lesser than human ones, and I hated that Guillermo had power taken from him rather than power claimed. I hated the way this upset the power dynamics of the household (particularly Nandor going back to ordering Guillermo around) and I hated the idea that Nandor thought Guillermo was weak and he was right. I hated this somewhat paternalistic idea that Nandor really did know best all along and Guillermo was just a silly little boy who didn't understand what he really wanted. Again, the power dynamics are so thoroughly fucked right now.

But the biggest thing, really, and the reason why I just can't bring myself to care about about the things I did like, was that it just... The message was so clearly that past episodes of the show did not matter. I always knew that there was a vibe change after Jemaine Clement left (especially because that vibe very much traveled to WP instead) but there was always enough dedication to the fundamental building blocks of the series that I didn't mind the way things had changed too much. But... this season really seemed to hammer home that they do not feel beholden to the first two seasons of the show and I liked those seasons.

I remember feeling kind of uneasy when little pieces of canon were discarded, like the way that it was stately clearly and repeatedly that Laszlo was better at hypnosis than Nandor in the first two seasons and then it was the opposite in s5. But like... I could forgive small changes like that. Little retcons. Guillermo, though. Guillermo.

I have never loved Guillermo more than I did at the end of s2, and I'm not sure we're ever going to see that version of him again. We got to see Guillermo go gloriously feral several times in s2, we got to see him kill an entire room full of people several times, we got to see him take his power and own it. And he really has never done it since, has he? He always tries so hard not to kill people, and the very few times he's done it since s2, it's been entirely in self-defense. And I just kept thinking it didn't have room in the plot, but they'd do it! Of course they'd do it! But then to have Guillermo straight-up say he doesn't have the stomach for killing... It made me realize that they'd brought Guillermo to heel as a conscious choice. They'd purposefully neutered his character, and in doing so, reduced the complexity of him that I'd always loved. Guillermo has always been a sweetheart and a murderer, and I loved that about him.

And then... you know, you have to come to wonder what other intrinsic parts of characters, intrinsic themes, they're going to feel okay with discarding when they feel like it. If they're going to retcon Guillermo, who was borderline sociopathic in the first two seasons (just look at how angry he was they didn't kill Jenna after he brought her to them), as a weak, naive familiar who really doesn't have the stomach to be a vampire... Like he wasn't paying attention at all for the last 13 years?? Like none of his choices were real or mattered? What the fuck? That's a major change.

And then you look back at the rest of s5, at Laszlo's entire storyline of "I'm going to do experiments on Guillermo to figure out how to 'cure' him so Nandor can turn him", and you realize they didn't even have that cohesion within the same season. Laszlo's entire season-long plot line makes zero sense once it's revealed that they knew (somehow) that killing Guillermo's sire would revert him. Like -- forget that it goes against his knowledge level in s3, forget that it goes against his knowledge of how to finish Jenna's transformation in s1, it goes against his stated knowledge of things within the same damn season.

And if they're not going to care about those things, why should I? If they're going to ignore details, plot lines, characterization, hell, the overarching themes of their own show, why should I get invested in them? Why should I care about Nandor seeing Guillermo's baby pictures or the idea of Nandor's loneliness or the fact that Guillermo only decided not to kill that human after self-centeredly tying him to his own experiences?

What else am I going to get invested in that they're going to ignore? What other choices that characters make are going to be pointless later? What other storylines are going to be dropped after just one season?

I don't know. The whole thing makes me so damn tired. To see all of Guillermo's struggles with his sense of self, his sense of power, his sense of Otherness, be reduced to "actually he's too squeamish to drink blood because he doesn't have the heart to kill anyone" is so... I'm so frustrated, and it makes me not want to get invested in anything they make anymore.

I've been really struggling as a creator, because like... I always made fanworks for this show because I genuinely loved it, I genuinely loved the characters. I respected what they'd created. But now I just feel like I'm getting overly attached to something that's just going to keep hurting me and... where do I go from there? Do I start writing canon divergence fic? (Never thought I'd end up in a place where I wanted to ignore canon here but if they can do it, so can I.) Do I just pull back a little and force myself to be a more casual fan?

I've been part of fandoms that hurt me before and I don't... wanna do that again. lmao. When I left comics fandom I was like "as god as my witness, I'll never stay in a fandom that makes me unhappy again!"

And.... I'm unhappy. :(

idk man, I'm still kind of stewing in it. Getting into other canons has actually helped tremendously in removing the sting from it all, but how to proceed going forward... I guess I still don't know. I don't want to write anything right now, and I assume that'll change, but... I don't know. : /

[poorly-drawn-dinosaur]

i’m writing my full ass complaints now cause people be annoying me on tumblr 💀 spoilers below

i get that it’s the shit and fart show and it’s supposed to be silly and not really have depth but like. they’ve set up all this depth. yeah some of the stuff fans are pulling out of their asses, but most of it was GIVEN. so many episodes in previous seasons, specifically s3, gave the vampires more three dimensional personalities. and it was GREAT !! but this season it just. it went all out the window. guillermo’s characterization was the WORST !! IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE !! especially the finale dude like he admits to luring people i think he’d care A Little Less.

it also just felt like the direction the writers took wasn’t great. in past seasons, there was usually One Running Bit (the baron coming, guillermo discovering he’s a van helsing, nandor being a big baby, etc) that carried through the story for most of the episodes. guillermo being a half vampire could have been SUCH an interesting bit but they didn’t use it well. the experimenting thing should’ve been a one off thing, and there should have been more episodes highlighting his weird powers i feel, like him trying to hide them or use them to save the vampires. like there wasn’t anything done with it and that’s my biggest gripe: so many ideas were set up but not complete. they seemed to shove most of it at the end.

SPEAKING OF THE END THE FUCK KIND OF FINALE. the coppiest cop out i’ve ever fucking seen. even if guillermo wanted to be human again, they didn’t use the djinn (which why even bring him up), they didn’t make guillermo deal with the curse, NOTHING. they just killed derek (which i thought they established you couldn’t kill your original vampire or you die, so besides being stupid it’s inconsistent), and moved on. WHAT WAS THE POINT. i just don’t understand creating a big deal of something if it’s just gonna be undone at the end. guillermo’s whole reasoning was to break the cycle, but they just fucking put him back in. it doesn’t make sense.

the worst part about wwdits s5 is the fact that it wasn’t funny. it had a few highlights (shoutout to the pride parade episode and the circumcision bit), but overall it was just…forgettable. s4, while not the best season, was memorable and fuckin HILARIOUS. like if the plot on s5 was bad but it was still hilarious i wouldn’t be as mad but just. so many things didn’t land. the whole freaks episode was stupid, they did little with colin’s memory, the antipaxian episode with laszlo was mid. really nothing.

i’m really really disappointed in this season. this makes s4 look so much better than it really is and that. sucks. it’s not a media literacy thing, it’s not even me being mad about nandermo; it’s me being mad at my favorite comedy show not being comedic and making me not excited to watch anymore

[ednacrabapple]

So I just finished watching the six individual episodes that got Emmy nominations for outstanding writing in a comedy series like I've been threatening to do and here they are ranked from best to worst:

Pride Parade - WWDITS

This might be the best episode of any sitcom I have ever seen in my life. There is so much that happens in this episode. I've seen it a million times and I still don't know how they fit everything in AND made sure everything got enough time. This episode has EVERYTHING. Nandor goes to space. Laszlo terrorizes people at the beach. Colin Robinson and Ghost Nadja both posses Nadja's body. It's insane. This episode absolutely deserves the Emmy (though we all know it won't win). And I still want to know why Nandor wasn't speaking to Matthew (the little bird that flew into his room that he was trying to befriend) anymore lol

Also Natasia Demetriou absolutely should have been nominated for a best actress Emmy for her performance in this episode alone but that's a story for a different time

2. Orlando - Girls5eva

The 30 Rock vibes are immaculate. I had no context for anything that was happening and I still loved every second of it. I was literally laughing the entire time I was watching this episode. Paula Pell especially is outstanding. This one episode made me want more and I need to watch the entire show now. I loved it

3. Brooke Hosts a Night of Undeniable Good - The Other Two

God this episode was so fucking chaotic and insane. I literally don't even have anything specific to say about it. It was just so fun??? Also that fricken song that Cary and the other gays were singing is stuck in my head. Amazing episode no notes

4. Career Day - Abbott Elementary

Now, I absolutely adore Abbott, which I'm sure you can all tell by now, so it really hurts me to put it so low on the list, but honestly Career Day was the weakest episode of the season in my opinion. It was still good - the whole plot with Melissa and Gary was so well done and heartbreaking, and some of the jokes about Ava going to Harvard to use their wifi to earn a degree from Grand Canyon university were hilarious, but overall I think this episode could have been way better. It just felt like something was missing, ya know? I think there are some other episodes from this season, like Smoking or Party, that were better overall and maybe deserved the nomination more. I still love this show, but this episode is kinda meh

5. Bulletproof - Hacks

I know absolutely nothing about this show or the characters, but the episode was still so compelling. This is definitely a show that handles the whole "dramedy" thing well from what I can tell. I definitely enjoyed this episode, but it just wasn't quite as good as some of the other episodes that got nominated. Also, that scene on the plane with the sorta proposal was amazing lol

6. Fishes - The Bear

This show is not a comedy. Full stop. It is a drama. Like, sorry it can't compete against Shogun, but how is that WWDITS' fault? Or Abbott's fault? Or Girls5eva's fault? It should be in the drama category - NOT stealing nominations from actual comedies.

That being said, this episode was just not good. It was so boring. It couldn't hold my attention for more than a few minutes at a time, and it was just so long. It felt like it was never going to end. And I swear it was 90% people yelling at each other and nothing else. But don't worry everyone, I'm sure this is the episode that will win the award, despite being the least deserving by far 🙄

[twittercomfrnklin2001-blog]

Targets

Made before director-co-writer Peter Bogdanovich knew what he couldn’t do, TARGETS (1968, Criterion) is one of the screen’s most audacious directorial debuts.  As good as some of his work is, I’m tempted to call it Bogdanovich’s best film. And it certainly gave Boris Karloff one of the best roles of his career, essentially playing a variation on himself.

The film opens with the finale (almost) of one of Roger Corman’s most delirious films, THE TERROR (1963), which starred Karloff and the largely unknown Jack Nicholson. It then cuts to a screening room, where Karloff’s Byron Orloff has been unhappily watching the last of three low-budget horror films he’s just made. He informs his ambitious young director-writer (Bogdanovich) that he’s retiring without having read the young man’s new script, which you may suspect is the script for this film. The argument moves to the street, and suddenly we cut to Karloff seen through the sights of a sniper rifle. That moves us into the parallel story of Bobby Thompson (Tim O’Kelly), who’s stockpiling weapons for a killing spree. Bogdanovich switches between these stories almost effortlessly with the help of editor Verna Fields. The idea of the classic horror star who feels he’s no longer relevant in a world of real-life horrors like those perpetrated by O’Kelly may be a little too pat, and the inevitable merging of the two plots a little too convenient, but the ideas behind all this trump any objections.

Karloff is magnificent, giving a performance even more impressive when you know that between scenes he had to return to a wheelchair and breathe through an oxygen mask. He’s a master of subtlety. He never wastes a gesture, and he doesn’t just speak his lines; he makes love to them. O’Kelly is also strong, projecting a lot through long silent stretches. Bogdanovich wisely never explains the specifics that led him to mass murder (there’s a sense that he has father issues), but you get the impression that he and O’Kelly know exactly what’s going on in the character’s mind. Laszlo Kovacs did the pristine cinematography, with subtle camera moves to disguise the cutting and build tension. Bogdanovich’s then wife, Polly Platt, co-wrote the original story (there were uncredited writing assists from Sam Fuller) and did a terrific job designing the sets. Thompson lives with the family, and their home is a fascinating combination of story book setting and sterility. It’s the middle-class dream moldering around the edges.

[cottoncandysprite]

Rewatching season 3 (and remembering how absolutely peak it was) and honestly episode 3 I think has the best rewatch value knowing what happens at the end of the season. Not for the nandermo plot, although petty Guillermo is my favorite thing ever, but just the fact that, at this point Laszlo knows about Colin's time limit, and one of the running gags this episode is that he accidentally keeps inflicting what would be mortal wounds on Colin (if he wasn't semi-immortal).

Like, it's not only making us believe that he can't die, but watching it with the mindset that Laszlo KNOWS he's dying soon, you can definitely see the brief moments of panic before Colin reveals he's okay. Watch the scene where he sets him on fire again and you'll definitely feel a little tense.

And after season 4, it's also nice seeing Laszlo start to open up about his childhood to Colin in this episode! It may have been brief, but them bonding in this way before the dadzlo arc is also pretty good on rewatch.

It's such brilliant lore and foreshadowing that you won't even understand fully until you've seen the whole season, and I love it so much

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Supplement: Season Three Recap

The Golden Girls' third season was almost as much of a rollercoaster to recap as it was to watch. Let's go over the highs and lows of this tumultuous season, check the slice ratings, and pick our favorite episodes -- and we have a lot of good ones from which to choose.

Picture It...

Season Three of The Golden Girls is a delightful headache, containing some of the best and worst episodes -- some of them right next to each other. Not to get too personal, but recapping this season has been especially difficult for me due to a number of unrelated factors. Because of that, it's hard for me to tell if this season feels so chaotic because it is, or because my life around it was even more so.

That said, it's also the season where we were introduced to some amazing new characters, had several touching tearjerker moments, and just generally had some of the biggest laughs of the shows entire run. So perhaps a bit of chaos is neither unwarranted nor unwelcome. While I wouldn't call this my favorite season, it's a solid one overall.

Cheesecake by the Numbers

5-slice episodes: 5 4-slice episodes: 7 3-slice episodes: 8 2-slice episodes: 5

I usually feel confident in my slice ratings when things are evenly balanced between the four rankings (and, again, if we leave off the singular one-slice episode of the series). This season seems to trend a little more towards middling, with a larger number of 3-slicers. I made only one slice change this season, because I felt the rating didn't reflect my analysis -- I was probably playing it safe.

Slice change: "Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself" I originally ranked this one at 3-slices because Sophia was in relatively little of the episode. However, watching it again, I think that's a bit reductive. Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy hold down the A-plot so well that it's impossible not to smile at least once while watching it. It features some of the silliest performances, as the three Girls act out women being confronted with their deepest fears all at the same time (continuity breaker though it is).

Best Episode: "Old Friends"

It's hard sometimes to sit through a Very Special Episode in what is predominantly a comedy series -- but sometimes it's very, very worth it. In this episode, the tonal shifts of Sophia's friendship with a very sick Alvin hit like a punch to the gut, and Estelle Getty gives one of her greatest performances of the series. The fact that this touching A-plot is contrasted by one of the funniest, most ridiculous B-plots just makes it even better. I defy anyone not to cheer when Rose rescues her teddy bear from a little girl with a well-timed shove.

Worst Episode: "Strange Bedfellows"

Episodes involving rifts between the Girls can go one of two ways: Either they're great episodes where the actresses' natural chemistry makes their acidic remarks even funnier than usual, or they're horrible episodes that are very hard to watch. If there's a man involved, it usually pushes the episode in the latter direction. In this case, Dorothy and Rose treat Blanche terribly, refusing to believe she didn't have a tryst with a local politician -- massively hypocritical of them, no less. I always, always skip this one if I have the option.

Best Guest Performance: Tony Jay in "The Artist"

"The Artist" is a personal favorite episode of mine, in part because I love Tony Jay's performance as Laszlo. He captures that eccentric, genius artist vibe and plays very well off of the Girls. This is one of the few times I can understand why all of the Girls are so drawn to a man, as he's very charismatic and persuasive when he asks them to model for him. This makes the final revelation -- that his attention to them was definitely not romantic -- even better.

Scoundrel of the Season: Mister Terrific in "Mister Terrific"

It took every ounce of willpower I possess to not pick Jeremy, Rebecca's boyfriend in "Blanche's Little Girl" for this honor. His horrendous verbal abuse of Becky is genuinely difficult to watch … however, this award only goes to men that the Girls themselves date in the season. In this case, Bob Dishy's Mister Terrific takes the cake: A narcissistic, delusional actor who puts Rose in the most physical danger anyone on the show could possibly be in. He barely seems to even like her, snapping at her for not a pin with his name on it. Just one big pile of ick all around.

Special Season Award: Best Non-House Set

I didn't notice this until I was reviewing all of the episodes for this season, but it feels that we spent far more time away from the Girls' house this season than we have in previous ones. Several of the episodes take place almost entirely in other locations, and the sets for those have become more elaborate as well. The set of "Grab That Dough" is my favorite, a spot-on parody of game shows of the time, complete with a host who sports an unnaturally white smile.

My favorite joke of the season

There's a reason "The Artist" is one of my favorite episodes of all time, and has been since I was a kid. As an adult, I can better appreciate the absurdity of the Laszlo storyline -- however, as both an adult and a kid, Sophia's pranks have me rolling on the ground. The best part is, she even waits until she's out of the room to deploy some of them.

[quilterdyke]

okay fine i’ll go first. guillermo is going go to back on his not wanting to be a vampire decision. i think it would be fun to have the vampires experience humanity/being human even for just one or two episodes (laszlo’s experimentation last season makes me think this is possible). i would absolutely love for there to be an onscreen ladja kiss and more laszlo/nadja storylines/interactions together (they really are at their best together). i want more plots with just the core four plus colin. obviously i would love for nandermo confirmation, but, you know. we’ll see

alright everyone what are our final season predictions - and what are our perhaps unrealistic wants

[toadminako]

I watched the leaked WWDITS S4 episodes 9 and 10 and I’m now going to word-vomit out my thoughts, but I’ll do it under the cut ‘cause I got manners. DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE SPOILED

Well… That was a bummer.

OK, let’s list the things I did like about the final 2 episodes first:

Al Roberts is a sweetheart as Freddie and gets to do some very funny comedy with what happens in the back half of episode 9.

We get lots more Guide and Nadja (Guidja?) scenes. They’re so delightful together, I love Kristen Schaal and we get to see Nadja being a messy bitch a falling all over the place again.

Laszlo’s empty-nest desperation at child-Colin growing up is funny, sweet, sad and well-acted. Matt Berry really getting to show his acting chops again for this finale.

But here’s the thing…

I get that, narrative-wise, Nandor would have to do something terrible to drive Guillermo away properly; they set that up immediately in episode one that Guillermo was already set to leave and was just holding on to help with the wedding and raising Colin. But the awful thing that Nandor does is just… Too awful, in my opinion?

It’s a thoughtless thing to do to Guillermo, yes (and thoughtless in a way that seems more in-character for season 1-2 Nandor, not season 4 Nandor) but it’s a HORRIBLE thing to do to Marwa, like it has genuinely upset me. She had her personality slowly chipped away at, only to finally be subsumed into a different person entirely. An almost textbook example of “death of personality”.

I get that she was always going to be a side-character and more an accessory to Nandor’s arc this season, but we saw little glimpses of her finding things she loved for herself (watching Mamma Mia with the girls) and little glimmers of her fighting back against Nandor (locking him out of the man-cave) and now she doesn’t even get the chance to escape and live her own life? What the FUCK man?

Yes I know the cast are all goofy serial killers, but what happens to Marwa – being Djinned out of existence after we’ve got to know her, even if only a little bit – just leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I hope this plot thread returns in some way and we get to see the real Marwa come back in some form.

I just wanted some kind of actualisation for Nandor, some recognition of what he actually wants and what he actually needs to change about himself. I’m not saying I wanted a Nandermo kiss, but I at least wanted Nandor to have a genuine moment of realisation. Not even realising what he feels for Guillermo is love necessarily, but at least realising that he values Guillermo as more than just a familiar-friend-bodyguard-best-man. He makes some very stupid attempts at making amends at the end of ep 9, but by ep 10 he’s just regressed to being an aloof asshole which is what finally drives Guillermo away. If they were going to follow through on his character development in season 3 and 4, he should at least have offered to make Guillermo a vampire, or held out some other genuine olive branch to him (like he tried to do at the end of S3).

They really appeared to be setting up an “Oh” moment for Nandor (how much sweeter they are together for much of the season, the dick wish, Marwa-as-Nandor kissing Guillermo), then just totally dropped the ball and made Nandor do something that seems uncharacteristically selfish, even for him.

And I GET it, we need the impetus for Guillermo to leave and find someone else to make him a vampire. And I DO like that they’re finally acknowledging that Guillermo knows plenty of vampires willing to turn him. And I LOVE that we’re probably going to be seeing more of Derek in the future but…

Yeah. I’m disappointed.

“Guillermo might finally be turned” is a great cliffhanger, but honestly? After how they totally wasted the “Guillermo and Nadja go to London” cliffhanger in season 3, I’m not sure I trust them fully to follow through on it.

TLDR: I am dissatisfied by this finale, and depressed by that.  

[deadthingposting]

Oh my Christ this episode

So much fun

But the best way to put it it's this:

Like this whole thing was basically this single braincell quartet somehow fucking up a thing they could easily have ended by just hypnotizing the fucking guy

(also nandor plastic surgery plot makes me think that nandor is really getting blind and drunk by power, I'm sure this will end well)

Now the highlight of the episode is Guillermo, good for him finally stick one to those fuckers, but the way he says he has two families he needs to take care melted my heart

Laszlo unrequited love for seanie it's just so cute like this vampire is head over heels for just the most normal guy ever

Question where's the FUCK is my wifey Marwa ?

I want to know which one of them dumbases though the idea of putting doll Nadja as the mother

I can talk for weeks about nadja's dresses but I also can talk about how the show don't pushes her to a mommy role, she is as connected to the child as nandor, they don't force the whole maternal instinct on her and it's great

Is it bad that I want a real fight between her and Guillermo once she discovers his little crime( just for plot reasons not because I think both of them would look very hot fighting)

Unhinged Colin it's great and he is just nine I can't wait for him becoming a teenager he will be hell

So yeah i loved this episode