#like it was so fucked up on so many levels

[sayyestoheav3nn]

You, Again: Part 1/2

Roman x black!oc

Warnings: fluff, angst, short mention of abortion, emotional/verbal abuse

Word Count: 3k

a/n: thanks for your patience, it really means a lot 🥹 I hope this isn't a disappointment. still working on part five of nights like this, most likely won't be posted till monday. click here if you would like to be tagged in part two.

Sky spent hours in her room crying into her pillow. She was sick and tired of this constant fucked up routine.

Her mother’s disdain for her progressively grew worse day by day. For as long as she could remember, that woman did everything in her power to make sure she understood that her biggest mistake in life, would always be the day she chose not to abort her.

It was starting to become a nightly occurrence of her drunkenly barging into her room just to belittle and scream at her. 

Her mother’s hatred for her grew immensely as the years went on, to the point where she would find absolutely any reason to take her frustrations out on her.

This included breaking any and everything she could get ahold of in Sky’s room.

Sky knew any attempt to defend herself would only make the situation ten times worse, so she just stayed quiet and accepted it.

Sky could tell she wanted a reaction out of her, which is exactly why she refused to give it.

Maybe life would have been a tad bit easier, if her sister would’ve had her back during these repetitive toxic situations she was forced into. 

But no, her one and only sibling turned out to be an even more evil and vindictive bitch. 

Eva was four years older than her, and it was absolutely no secret that her older sister despised her.

Sky spent many years hoping she would eventually be able to build a relationship with her big sister. 

Unfortunately, she couldn’t have been more wrong. 

Sky remembers that night like it was yesterday. The night where Eva went to the bathroom and her creepy boyfriend tried to make multiple passes at her.

The fact that he knew she was underaged and still chose to hit on her, disgusted Sky to another level. She quickly rejected his creepy insinuations, trying her best to ignore him. 

As soon as Eva stepped out of the bathroom, Sky wasted no time in telling her exactly what happened, not giving two fucks about the fact he was still standing there.

Her boyfriend immediately interjected, saying that Sky was the one who was hitting on him, he painted a story about how she’d been making him uncomfortable for the longest of time whenever Eva wasn’t around.

She remembered the exact lies he spewed, “Baby you know how jealous she’s always been of you, don’t tell me you believe this crazy bitch! Why would I ever do that to you? Let alone in your own house!”

To her surprise Eva looked at Sky like she was fucking insane, Sky could see her sisters anger rising.

“Eva, please don’t tell me you believe him over me…” Sky’s voice cracked as tears started to form in her eyes.

Eva pushed Sky against the wall with all the force she had, causing the back of Sky’s head to slightly start bleeding. 

“If you ever even think to go near him again, I’ll fucking kill you,” Eva sneered.

In that exact moment Sky whole heartedly accepted the fact that she was truly alone, with absolutely no one by her side. 

And just when she had fully given up hope on continuing to live this shitty life, with her even shittier family, she met Joe. 

Joe was a boy who made her whole entire world shift. 

He was her new neighbor, who in a short time of getting to know, became her favorite person. 

As years passed they grew even closer, she was his best friend, and he was hers. 

He was truly a light in her dark world, and there wasn’t a damn thing she’d do to change that.

……….

After another night of the same bullshit fight caused by her drunken mom, Sky carefully stumbled out of her bedroom window making her way across the wet grass that was now starting to soak her fuzzy slippers. Her phone was dead, so she had no choice but to rely on the natural moonlight to illuminate the short path leading her next door.

She lightly tapped on Joe’s window, hoping not to startle him.

Shortly after, he carefully slid his window open. His eyes were low and sunken, a sleepy smile formed on his face.

“Come in.” Joe helped Sky climb in, which basically consisted of him doing all the work in picking her up.

“Shit, sorry for waking you up Joe,” she whispered.

“Sky, how many times have I told you? Never apologize for that shit,” his voice was low.

Joe knew that she had issues with her family, but Sky made sure to never tell him how bad it really was. She knew him well, his hot headed ass would confront them with no hesitation, but that would only end up making things worse for her. 

If Sky’s mom found out about him, she’d forbid her from ever seeing him again.

And that’s something that Sky simply would not allow, so choosing to keep him in the dark, in her eyes was the right choice.

Joe pulled his covers back leaving Sky’s preferred side easier for her to get in.

His bedroom became a safe space for her, it was starting to become a habit for Sky to spend her nights sleeping there. For some odd reason the smell of his sheets gave her a sense of comfort, his cologne scent became soothing to her.

They both laid down on their backs, with their gazes focused on the ceiling. 

Joe was always respectful, making sure he left a small space in between them.

“You wanna talk about it?” He whispered.

“Thanks, but not really,” she sighed.

Joe could hear the sadness in her tone, he knew she was holding something in, but he didn’t want to push her. He believed she’d open up when she felt comfortable enough, so he respected that.

“That’s okay….but know you can tell me anything, Sky.”

She turned her body to face him, “I’m going to tell you something, but promise me you won’t get upset,” she muttered.

Just as Joe was deep in his thoughts admiring Sky’s beauty, beauty in which he was convinced everyone saw except her, her light angelic voice instantly snapped him out of it. “Talk to me, we’ll go from there.”

“This is going to be my last night sleeping here…”

Joe quickly sat up on the bed, with his eyebrows furrowed. Sky could feel his gaze locked in on her. “Why?”

“Joe I know we’re just friends and that we’ve always had boundaries, but you have a girlfriend. It…it just seems disrespectful to keep sleeping here knowing that,” she muttered.

Joe paused in silence for what felt like forever. Sky was starting to get anxious, because the last thing she needed was to cause problems or a rift between them. As regret started to seep in, she decided to try and smooth the situation over.

“It’s just—”

“We’re not together anymore,” his voice was low.

Confusion, that’s exactly what Sky was feeling. This was the last thing she was expecting him to say.

“W—Why didn’t you say anything? What happened?”

“She didn’t like me being friends with you, so she gave me an ultimatum… to choose between you or her.” 

At that Sky stood up, her anxiety causing her to pace the room while so much guilt began to weigh her mind. She felt so fucking bad, knowing that her friendship ended his relationship which was the exact thing she was trying to avoid. 

She swallowed down her emotions as best as she could, which worked to no prevail because she instantly felt warm tears begin to slide down her face. “Joe I-I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t….you shouldn’t have chosen me.”

Joe instinctively walked towards her now seeing that she was crying, he gently grabbed her chin forcing her gaze on his. 

“Sky, there’s no reason to be sorry. It was the easiest choice I’ve ever fucking made.’’

“I—It’s my fault Joe…. I shouldn’t have put you in this situation,” she sniffled. 

“Look at me,” his voice was assertive but still gentle, Sky’s glossy eyes met his.

“The ultimatum wasn’t the only reason I ended things with her, Sky.” 

“Joe, w—what do you mean? I’m confused…..”

He moved some of her hair behind her ears, the way his eyes were glued to her lips gave her butterflies. “I….don’t want to just be friends anymore.”

Sky could feel her heart beating out of her fucking chest. Sure she believed they were close, but in no world did she ever think he thought of her that way. Joe carefully studied her facial expressions, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

“I—”

Before she could speak Joe interrupted. “I’ve always liked you Sky, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, inside and out. I enjoy every moment I spend with you. With that being said… I understand if you don’t feel the same way, my intention isn’t to make you uncomfortable. But, I just needed you to—

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“I want you to kiss me, Joe.” 

Just as he was beginning to lean in, she slightly hesitated while slowly pulling back.

“I’ve.. I’ve never…” Sky was too embarrassed to finish her sentence.

“You’ve never kissed anyone before?”

She shook her head no, her gaze now shifted to the floor. 

Joe lightly brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. “Sky, it’s just me. I got you, I promise.”

Once she silently gave him the approval, Joe gently pressed his lips against hers, starting off slow letting her get used to the feeling. Her lips were so fucking full and soft, it was going to be a challenge for him to contain himself.

Once Joe could feel her growing comfortable, he began to deepen their kiss. Sky could feel her arousal intensify as the kiss went from soft and slow to something more needy and sensual.  

Without a second thought, he picked her up by her ass, hoisting her on his hips. 

Sky wrapped her legs around him, while doing the same with her arms around his neck. Joe carried her back towards his bed, laying her down gently, while pulling her closer towards him.

To his surprise Sky climbed on top, straddling and kissing him. Joe sat up with his back resting on the headboard, a light moan escaped him when she slid her fingers behind his head, lightly scratching at his scalp.

He slightly pulled away, biting down on his bottom lip, his eyes entranced by that beautiful face of hers. “You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

“Me too,” she grinned.

Time passed, and Joe had no idea how long they spent kissing. It’s almost as if time didn’t exist when she was around him.

They eventually had to stop, Joe refused to get ahead of himself, making sure to prioritize taking things slow with her.

Just as they were about to sleep, Joe got up and walked to his drawer pulling out something plastic, it was too dark for her to tell.

“Shit, I almost forgot.” 

“What is it?”

Joe handed her the light plastic item. “I know you forget to bring it sometimes, so I bought you one to leave here.”

Once Sky shined her phone light on it, a smile formed on her face.

A bonnet. 

Joe went out of his way to buy her a bonnet.

Something so simple, yet so fucking thoughtful made her eyes water “Thank you Joe.” 

She immediately pulled it out the package, wasting no time in putting it on.

Sky kissed his cheek and laid down, Joe pulled her by her waist with his big arms wrapped around her, there was no longer a gap in between. The warmth of his chest on her back was the most comforting thing she’d ever experienced, resulting in her instantly falling asleep.

Since the day he met her, she’d been the only person he thought about. Having her this close to him, internally evoked new emotions for him.

Watching her sleep so peacefully while being wrapped in his arms, brought a smile to his face. In that very moment he made a vow to himself, to always put her happiness first.

No matter what.

…………….

Present

The New York city lights illuminated the busy streets. Sky wasn’t used to being in such a live and ambient city. 

After a shit ton of convincing from her best friend Lori, Sky forced herself to step out of her comfort zone and pursue a new potential career opportunity. It’s something that she had been wanting to do for the longest time, but unfortunately her deep rooted insecurities had her convinced she wasn’t good enough.

She was scared to waste so much time and effort, just to end up receiving rejection. 

Except she was wrong, very wrong. Because after an exhausting few months of traveling around the world and going to so many different try outs, life finally threw her a bone.

Sky had received a message from her agent, informing her that a well known modeling agency based in New York, was interested in flying her in for a week to attend their casting call.

This was an opportunity she was glad she didn’t miss. Lori, being the amazing friend that she is, decided to join Sky to offer her unwavering support.

After being in this colorful, fast paced city for a few days, Sky went in for one last meeting with the agency where they informed her she would officially be signed.

Sky still had the weekend left in this enormous city, so she figured she’d make the most of it. Lori, suggested they try out this new fancy bar to celebrate Sky’s new job.

As they walked in the atmosphere was relaxing, the room was filled with dim lighting and the low sounds of jazz music. Sky noticed diverse groups of people scattered across the room, the air was filled with chatter and laughter, which brought a small smile to her face.

They decided to sit at the stools of the bar, they figured the closer they were, the faster they’d receive their drinks.

To say they were having a good time would be an understatement, Sky was starting to truly enjoy the feeling of being immersed in this vibrant city.

While Lori went to the bathroom, Sky decided to order their third drinks, and as she was waiting she ended up getting distracted with a dumbass reality show, that for some reason was starting to pique her interest.

Just as the boring commercials started to play, she was starting to zone out when out of the corner of her eye she saw a WWE ad.

Sky could instantly feel her breath hitch in her throat. It’s not the first time she’s seen him randomly displayed on tv. 

That’s not the exact reason her heart was racing, while her body felt frozen in place. It’s the fact that the advertisement said he was in this exact area for a press event he had during the weekend. 

Every piece of joy she was feeling prior to this revelation was stripped away.

Lori came back, and with one glance at Sky, she immediately knew something was wrong, “Sky, are you okay?”

Sky cleared her throat, trying her absolute best to play it off. “I’m fine, I promise. I think these drinks are hitting me all at once,” she nervously chuckled.

Lori stared at Sky, seeming completely unconvinced, but she ultimately decided to let it go.

“I’ll drop it for now, only because it’s a big day for you.”

“Thank you,” Sky mouthed.

Sky waited twenty minutes for Lori to finish her drink, her anxiety made it feel like she was waiting a lifetime. Once Lori finished up, Sky asked to leave, using the excuse that she was exhausted. 

Lori paid their tab after refusing to let Sky pay a dime. They started to make their way out of the packed bar, trying their best to maneuver away from large crowds. 

Just as they were close to the entrance door, Lori had to turn around when she noticed she left her sunglasses. Sky was looking back to see if her friend had located them, while still walking forward. 

She decided it would be best to wait outside since the bar was starting to get congested. When she reached to open the door, her gaze was glued to her purse while she dug for her cellphone.

Before she knew it, she accidentally bumped into someone, causing her to stumble back.

She stood up, immediately apologizing, moving to the side as more people walked in. “Shit. I’m so sorry!” 

“Sky?” His voice was low and hesitant. 

In hearing that voice, his voice… she looked up, suddenly feeling the air grow thick. The bar started to feel small, as if it was enclosing around her.

She felt her body go cold, her legs started to feel weak and numb. No words escaped her mouth, she was rendered speechless.

He studied her, noticing she was just as fucking stunning as he remembered. After all these years, the feeling he got when she looked up at him, never changed.

“Sky…” 

“Stay the fuck away from me, Roman,” her voice cracked, while tears began to pool in her eyes. She pushed past him, while quickly walking away.

He knew he deserved it, but hearing her call him by that name fucking stung.

He stopped her by gently grabbing her arm.

“Sky, if you never want to see me again after this, I’ll…I’ll let you be. But please just let me explain,” he pleaded.

“I think it’s a little too fucking late for that,” she scoffed. 

Sky walked out the bar without looking back, quickly texting Lori saying she’d be at a café a few blocks over. Right now all she wanted was to create as much distance as possible, from the man who broke her heart.

[villain-enthusiast]

TOUCH-STARVED HERO RAHH.

.

“You’re hurt.”

“I’m fine, actually,” the hero muttered from their sloppy position on the ground, though the oozing gash slicing across their torso and the fresh bruises circling their throat said otherwise.

The villain arched a brow, crouching down so they were eye level with the hero. “Do you think I’m dumb?”

The hero glowered at them. “Seems like you're deaf, actually. I said I’m fine,” they snapped, even as pain shuddered through their battered body. “Now if you could just get out of my way—,”

“Darling, please. You couldn’t stand up even if you tried, let alone walk yourself halfway across the city to your apartment.” The villain smirked at the hero’s deepening scowl, but the teasing flair didn't quite reach their eyes. “Let me do you a small favor while I’m here, at least.”

The hero bared their teeth. “Fuck off. I don’t need your stupid healing powers. You'll probably turn this into one of your idiotic bargains—," A harsh coughing fit cut them off, rattling their chest.

They tasted blood on their tongue. Fuck.

“Gosh, so prideful." The villain sighed, tilting their head. "Oh look at that, you're bleeding." They lifted a hand and ran a thumb over their hero's lips, wiping away a smattering of blood that had spilled from their mouth.

The hero's breath hitched at the villain's touch, the smallest, most delicate of noises escaping them before they could stop themselves.

The villain paused, their brow furrowing as their gaze took in every little movement and detail of the hero's involuntary response.

The hero's jaw tightened. Every muscle in their body screamed at them to get away, but they couldn't move. Or was it that they didn't want to move? "Villain, I swear—,"

Then the villain’s hand was cupping their cheek, and the hero melted.

A desperate whimper tore from their throat, their head lolling into the cool touch of the villain's palm as all the pain and exhaustion radiating through their body suddenly evaporated.

They closed their eyes, feeling their face begin to burn with shame.

"Oh, sweetheart," the villain murmured. Their other hand swept through the matted strands of the hero's hair, working through the tangles.

The hero had to bite down on their lip so that they didn't make another embarrassing noise. So gentle. The villain's touch was so, so gentle. So at odds to their earlier opponent's strangling grip and blinding punches, so contrasting to gaping loneliness and helplessness of coming home to no one, of having to painfully stitch themselves up day after day after day...

The villain brushed away a tear that the hero didn't realize had fallen.

"Hey, look at me," the villain said softly, nudging their chin up. The hero blinked at them, fighting back a sob. "You need to let me heal you, okay? You're losing a lot of blood."

The hero swallowed, barely processing the villain's words, their brain entirely occupied by the hand still on their face—or maybe it was just the blood loss. "Yeah," they managed, voice hoarse. It felt like their vocal chords were coated in tar.

"I'm going to do your stomach first," the villain noted. "I need both my hands for this, alright?"

The hero nodded, ignoring the inevitable panic that shot through them at the sudden absence of the villain's touch, which returned almost immediately on the deep laceration on their lower torso.

The hero cringed, bracing for some kind of torturous, painful mending, but the villain's powers were warm, soft, like honey in a cup of hot tea or a crackling fireplace during a winter storm. God, how many years had it been since they'd felt so comforted?

A whimper escaped the hero once more. They tensed. Jesus fucking christ.

The villain cracked a smile as they worked. "Don't worry, love. You're not the first person I've healed that enjoys the feeling." They brushed a palm over the wound, weaving the hero's flesh and skin back together. "This is gonna scar, but at least you'll live to see another day, hm?"

The hero scoffed weakly, still drunk on the villain's magic.

The villain swept their hands over the hero's body, feeling for more damage. "Gosh, Hero," they hummed, "you get yourself into so much trouble, do so much for this pitiful city, and for what?" They placed their hands on the hero's battered neck, soothing the inflammation. "When's the last time someone took care of you?" they asked quietly, but the question seemed more for themselves than for the hero.

Several heartbeats passed before the villain pulled away, finished with their work. The hero couldn't stop themselves from chasing their touch, nearly toppling over.

The villain caught them before they hit the ground, chuckling. "Oh, what am I gonna do with you?"

The hero felt a lump form in their throat at the thought of the villain leaving. I'm not gonna make it home. Not without Villain. They squeezed their eyes shut, swallowing their pride. "Please," they whispered. "Take me home. All I ask."

"Don't need to ask me twice." The villain swept the hero up into their arms, smirking at their indignant (and exhausted) glare. "You're not walking, sorry. You're getting all my love and special treatment today." They winked, as if they were joking.

But as the villain paced their way to the hero's apartment, and as the hero began to fall asleep in their arms, they both knew it wasn't a joke.

[radjoy]

What is this bizarre phenomenon of men questioning random women instead of thinking for five fucking seconds? This happened to me once - a random man came up to me and said his wife wanted this specific kind of cheese and could I help him find it? Which I did, easily, because it was just slightly below eye level and easily labeled with exactly what she texted. Not hidden at all. And my fiancée once went to the store and encountered a man with FIFTEEN BOTTLES of lime extract, who asked her if this was enough for a pie. One pie. She demanded to see his grocery list because that was obviously absurd and his wife had, of course, requested 1 cup of lime juice, not of lime extract, and she helped him swap it out.

The woman from the above story is not a chef, she was in sales. Neither am I, I’m a nurse. Neither is my fiancée, she’s a teacher. Random women in the grocery aisle do not have exceptional knowledge of grocery lists, and in fact should have LESS accuracy (I’ve put “the syrup your mom buys” on our grocery list before) but so many women I know have a tale like this. “If a man gets my instacart order I cancel it” was a common joke during the pandemic.

WHY do men want random women to find shit for them? Why do they need this in the first place? Why would her husband get stuff like this wrong? Instead of completing a grocery list like any idiot could do? I honestly think they’re mad they’re being asked to do something they consider women’s work, so they’re unwilling to actually put in the tiniest amount of effort beyond driving to the store.

Also the “your wife will be happy!”/“It’s a miracle” is an astonishing amount of attitude from the dipshit who needed his hand held to find soup mix.

[thedisablednaturalist]

Apparently federal employees are the new scapegoat for the downfall of the United States..because we have more holidays and sick leave (which is still less than what other countries have) than most working class folks... Guess I'm part of the ruling class now guys 😔

[snailpebbles]

your fic about Chishiya was so good I feel like you captured his character perfectly 😩 will you write more about him? I can barely find any good writings about him and yours is truly so perfect 😔💓

Patchwork Love

pairing: Chishiya Shuntaro x gn!reader

summary: after being injured in a game, Chishiya drags you off and is somehow more silent than usual. What's his problem?

tags: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, they're both so stupid

warnings: descriptions of injuries including blood, non-sexual unwanted touch, emotional constipation, Chishiya cries lmao

a/n: hope you enjoy :) my writing is rusty lol but I love this trope

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Everything was going fine at first; you were on your own in a level three spades game, lightwork! It was a construction zone with many metal rails and walkways, and multiple wide pipes at the very top. The objective was simple - get to the top before the time runs out. At first it was that simple, that is until the freezing cold water began to pour in randomized sections. A game of strength and luck it seems. There were others from the Beach with you, so of course you figured you'd just team up and make sure no one slips. Wrong! To save their own asses just as the four of you were getting towards the top, they used your body as an easier to grip ladder. Not only did you feel violated, you also felt icy cold fear mixing with white hot rage. What the fuck? You pulled those three up so many times at the risk of drowning and for what?

The water pours down on you as they cheer from the top with just two minutes left, freezing and blinding you as you struggle to actually breathe. Two hands on one thin bar that's already trembling under your suspended weight. Fuck. Everything felt like a blur as you hauled your leg over another bar, using all your strength to not drown from the water rushing across you and to pull yourself onto the walkway. For a moment it seems like something had snapped, your leg overstretched and arms overexerted. You aren't built for this! Your life before consisted of studying and absolutely destroying kids on x-box! As you lay on the metal grating, water having ceased with a heaving chest, Chishiyas face flashes in your mind. Well fuck - you're realizing you like him at the worst possible time. With that motivation in mind alongside the need to deck those three in the balls, you force your aching body up the rest of those rails with ten seconds left on the clock.

The three boys are obviously shocked to see you alive and rush off, once again leaving you behind with no transportation back. Lovely.

You aren't quite sure how you managed to get back to Beach but by the time you do, the sun is beginning to rise. Damn, what if they vacated your room? The morning air is chilly and you know you have some sort of hypothermia if your chilled fingertips are anything to go by, not to mention the way your head is beginning to swim - pun intended.

As your torn up, shaking form stumbles through the gates past a few surprised militants and even more surprised party-goers, Kuina barrels towards you. She looks both put together and a mess, her eyes red rimmed and seeming to water - pun intended - as her warm hands cup your ice cold cheeks. She chokes up at this realization and ushers you inside, muttering something about Ann being a little busy with some project as she leads you two to a familiar door.

Chishiyas face, as calm as ever, cracks when Kuina barges in. He's up in an instant and wasting no time as apparently one look at you is enough to know what you need - or maybe he just knows you. A blanket is around your shoulders before you can blink and now you're on his bed, unfortunately not in the context you'd wish for now. Kuina runs off after Chishiya instructs her to get a whole load of things, but you honestly have no idea what because you're too busy staring at him. Chishiyas face is contorted in a way you've never seen before or at least haven't been the recipient of. His eyes are focused in solely on you, his brows furrowed and typical smirk gone in favor of a grimace. Most notable are his hands resting heavy on your shoulders as if you'd shrug the warm blanket off. Those hands you now realize match those in your dreams are surprisingly warm and unsurprisingly steady - Chishiya was a little less smart than you thought if he didn't know by now that you knew of his profession. The idea of him in a doctors coat distracts you as he gets up from where he was crouched in front of you, reappearing with bandages and disinfectant.

"So..how'd your game go?" You break the awkward silence and feel your cheeks warm at how scratchy your voice is. Must've been the borderline constant drowning. His sharp gaze makes you almost flinch with the weight in it, your own eyes dropping back to your lap. Of course he doesn't respond, only making some vaguely disapproving noises as those eyes scan your wounds. His silence begins to piss you off, that rage from earlier being misdirected at him. Seriously, you almost died in a frankly horrific way and this is all he has to give?

"I can patch myself up. I'm not helpless." The tension rises, twisting uncomfortably in your gut as Chishiya stays in place while you glare at him. With a huff as he refuses to speak, you get up on weak legs. This seems to snap him out of it as he grabs your hips - and just at the right time. Your legs give way as the exhaustion hits all at once to only fuel that anger, a frustrated sound coming from you as Chishiya tuts disapprovingly again.

"Stay still. You're hurt and too tired to move." His voice is rough and annoyingly calm. Is he allergic to worrying? You obey though as he unravels the bandages and uncaps the disinfectant, steeling yourself for the following pain.

The blond has the grace to look at least a little apologetic at every wince and soft cry your battered form gives, even letting you hold onto either his shoulders or jacket. The cuts, scraps, bruises, and blood staining your body worry him even if he doesn't show it. Images begin flashing in his mind of internal bleeding, broken ribs, torn muscles-

"Are you..crying?" Your soft voice breaks the less tense silence, your own tears having dried up some time ago. Chishiya pales as he becomes aware of the liquid dripping down his cheeks and hastily wipes them away, refusing to meet your gaze or lift his head.

"No." He replies shortly, heart picking up its pace as he realizes he has to patch your torn hands. You follow his gaze and readily hold both hands out, skin raw and bleeding still. He winces internally at the sight of your beautiful hands so heavily marred.

Warmth spreads through you as he takes your hand in his non-dominant one to carefully disinfect it, whispering apologies as you hold back cries of pain. Somehow you aren't too shocked by this display of care, an inner part of you having sensed something was different by the lingering looks and the way he is always there. Chishiya wraps your hand with a gentleness you weren't sure he possessed, repeating the process with your other hand until every wound is patched up. Not a word was properly shared, your eyes rarely met, and you didn't comment again on the occasional slip of tears you caught.

"Go change in the bathroom." He mutters after passing you actual clothes, aka his own sweatpants and a t shirt. Once you step back out of the bathroom - definitely not after taking a moment to admire yourself in his clothes - Chishiya does just what you definitely didn't. The admiration is well hidden yet you catch it in the way he turns his head slightly to the left and steps back, as if you're a danger.

"These are really comfy, thanks." An appreciative smile brightens your face and threatens to blind him, so he sits down where you were moments earlier. You take a seat beside him and try to hide your steadily growing flustered state when that damn white jacket is placed around your shoulders. He says nothing so neither do you, the silence now companionable even as sparks burn its edges.

"What happened." It's not a question and you know that, just as you know what happened isn't your fault. The tears, anger and irrational shame, prick your eyes anyways. He doesn't comment, he only takes your pinkie with his.

After a deep inhale and calming exhale, you speak. "It was an easy spades game and I teamed up with three guys from here, but towards the end they just.." You choke up momentarily, but with the way his hand moves to rub your forearm, you know you'll get it out.

"They knocked me down so I was hanging and used me like a fucked up bridge- their hands were everywhere and I know it was for survival only but it was so..so dehumanizing." The words come out softer and softer until you aren't even sure Chishiya can hear, but he does. He only ever listens for you. His face is as calm as ever as you cry, arm light as it wraps around your shoulder to bring you into the only safe haven you have in this fucked up place.

Time passes, you aren't sure how much but you are sure you've dozed off, yet Chishiya hasn't moved once. He holds you close and his fingers still rub circles on your shoulder, mindful of a bruise there as he's memorized your injuries. There's some snacks and another blanket on the small dresser, presumably brought by Kuina.

Chishiya knows you've slipped into that numb state, so he doesn't mind helping you eat some crackers and drink that tea you're so obsessed with. He doesn't mind keeping you right there, right where he can protect you and you can rest; where you can heal yourself. What he does mind is you deciding to break out of this numbness by pestering him.

"You cried." You whisper, poking his chest lightly as his arms tenses around you. For a moment you fear you may have misjudged the air and his actions, envy flooding - pun unintended - through you at the idea that maybe all his patients get such treatment. His answer calms your thoughts.

"Yes, you could say I was..worried. Don't do that again." His warm breath brushes across the top of your head and a faint smile tugs at your lips from the slight roughness to his typically smooth voice. Your head props up on his chest so you can see him and he can't resist looking down at you. His eyebrow raises in a silent question that has you grin, that familiar smirk returning.

"If it gets me this treatment.."

"No."

"Worth a shot."

"..You don't need to be hurt to get my attention." The one-sided banters comes to a halt as your eyes widen, staring at his ever calm face like he hand painted the stars for you. If he could, he would.

With a slight grunt you manage to sit up a little better, worry flickering over Chishiyas face at your show of pain. Damn you could get used to this. Words aren't his thing so what better communication than action? Even with bandages, your hands ever so carefully cup his jaw, moving slowly incase he doesn't want this.

Chishiya really fucking wants this. With the way you're being so gentle, so considerate, when others in his life haven't almost keels him over. But you're injured, mentally and physically, so slow and steady will win this race. The kiss is soft and unhurried, as if there isn't an invisible timer looming over your heads. Time is irrelevant when he whispers your name oh so quietly and his hand oh so carefully caresses your matching tear stained cheek. With every touch, every shared breath, the previous hands are washed away for now. They'll haunt you at night but Chishiya will be there to wipe them away, whether that be with affection or simply being there as you get a snack to soothe your brain.

You know why he cried, why he looked so worried, why it's his clothes you're wearing, and why Kuina said Ann was busy when you actually passed by her lounging in the hall. He loves and he cares, the same as you. It only took almost losing you to realize it.

As you separate slowly and lay down, drawn together as if magnets, you drift off. Chishiya waits patiently as your breath evens out before slipping away.

It's the next morning when you wake up alone in the cold bed, insecure heartbreak seeping in until Chishiya quietly walks into the room, not hesitating with the gentle squeeze to your shoulder and kiss to your head. No words are exchanged when you settle in the chair next to him by his desk, watching him build who knows what as you munch away on those snacks. His ankle his hooked with yours and that is all that matters - you can ignore the split knuckles and prideful hint to his face because he's yours, and you're his.

[max1461]

I asked for help every single day for 3 years and was told, we feel sorry for you, we feel bad for you, you are handling this like a child, this is your problem not our problem, we feel bad for you but this is your problem to deal with, you are handling this so immaturely this is your problem, have you tried taking a walk?

Really? I'm handling this so immaturely? I'm phasing in and out of periods of delusion and I'm handling it immaturely? I'm spending 8+ hours in the yard every day pacing and doing strange movements and not even noticing when my hands and feet get bloody and then coming inside and vomiting on the floor and then going right back to it and I'm handling that immaturely? How should I handle it? I should take a walk? I should take a walk?

I've barely been able to leave the house in weeks, then months, then years, and I should take a walk? I'm handling it immaturely because I didn't take a walk when you said I should?

I'm having seizures, I didn't know it at the time but in retrospect I'm having seizures every day, and I should take a walk? This is just my problem to deal with?

Oh I'm, I'm grieving, that's what it is. *Faux compassionate voice* you're grieving, that's why you're struggling. You just need to learn to move on.

Really? Is that it?

I need to learn to move on? To move on from the relationship you sabotaged, is that correct? That would be fairly convenient for you, wouldn't it, if you sabotaged the most important relationship in my life and I just decided I didn't care anymore. Maybe then I'd be less mad. Maybe then I'd stop having seizures.

Or is it that I need to move on from, *checks notes* the friendships that I currently have, that I am struggling to maintain because of the mental health crisis? Oh, is it those I should move on from? And who should I rely on instead, you stupid fuckers?

Have you shown yourselves to be reliable? Have you supported me when I was happy? No, you fucking sabotaged me. Have you supported me when I was unhappy? No, you stood there and watched. "Your family are the people who will be there for you no matter what", remember how many times you said that? Well, it's true in some meager literal sense. You were definitely *around*. You were *around* not to let me, what, be by myself in public until I was 19 years old? To give me zero life experience because of uh. I don't know. Gangs? Supposedly there are gangs around. I don't frankly think I'm going to be doing anything to incite the ire of gangs but if that's your justification.

Oh right, right. Someone could steal me. I love that word. They could steal me. I wonder why you chose that word.

Yeah you were always there. You were there high out of your gourd on coke and pills, you were there having a fucking obsessive crazy stalker level anxiety attack about me one day not living at home anymore. You were there to sabotage my relationships when they made you nervous. You were there to deride and belittle me when I finally fell apart.

I held it together for so many fucking years.

All I had, all I had was the peace inside my own mind. That is all you fucking left me with. Well, so, a freak accident or whatever takes that away. At the fucking dentist which is wild. Freak accident fucks up my mind. All I had was my mind.

Without my mind what am I? Nothing, I am a violated body. I am a violated body and the only respectful thing I can do is throw myself away. It is crass to act like this is a state worth living in. Well I have a few reasons to, uh. There are a few things I can't just abandon. But I see no path to being anything worth being, to being anything at all but a violated body. Well I'm just fucked.

[catboybiologist]

Wanted to ask about this for a while but you had asks off, you mentioned having experienced hetero(ish) relationships from "both sides", so like, do you have any interesting observations or perspectives you think most people don't know about?

Ah yes, the bisexual transgender eye. There's lots to say here, and I don't think much of it hasn't been said before. I don't think my observations are limited to what I'm rambling about here, but here's some surface level ones.

Btw, this is probably going to be my post with the most weirdly gendered thing of anything I've posted here. I hope its abundantly clear that I don't think any of this intrinsic or morally good, its just my observation on how heterosexuals act towards each other while dating. This isn't about the boxes men and women should be in, its about the boxes that society has put them in.

I think that dating apps are intensifying stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" dating roles in heterosexual relationships. Eg, encouraging men to "take the intitiative", oftentimes enabling harassing behavior in the process. This, in turn, forces women to screen and shut down men extremely harshly. Except, because of the entire dynamic that's being set up now, this makes a lot of men think women are "playing the game", and again, enables harassment from them.

I recently deleted all my dating apps, but even before then, I had them set to women and enbies/other only for a long time. Her was my primary app, but it has a very small userbase where I live.

Irl, men absolutely take the initiative more than women, but less aggressively than online. There's a huge added element of fear because of the in person aspect, however, and when meeting up, men can be extremely pushy.

The "toxic girlboss" angle of this is that this is often fun to play with. If you're clearly communicating in a serious context, and have established systems of consent that extend to communication as well as the bedroom, playing with "the chase" is... intoxicating. Having a man wrapped around your finger is really fucking fun. It has to feel safe and fun for both parties involved, though. You need to be able to "break character" at any point and have direct conversations, either about boundaries or directly communicating a want or need.

Obviously I haven't publicly been a woman for very long, so my experience isn't vast and limitless or anything. But I've had a few wonderful romantic entanglements with men already. Luckily for me, one of these is ongoing 😘

As for some of the people I've talked to, but never gotten far with.... cishet men are really stupid. I'm sorry but like. Y'all are. There's a lot to be said about how society normalizes male incompetence in heterosexual relationships (eg, the dopey husband stereotype) but I think this also extends to the early stages of a relationship. Men very frequently bitch and moan about "games" while not realizing that they play just as many "games" themselves. Oftentimes, those games involve being overly pushy with everything, and then not communicating their own limits and what they want out of a situation, expecting women to figure it all out for them. Eg, they want to bring forward unlimited energy and pushiness, but expect women to be the ones that whittle them down to what they actually want. This applies both romantically and sexually. Men have a lot of emotional needs, of course, and yes its a problem that they're often not met. But a huge part of that is society discouraging them from openly communicating what they want.

I guess to summarize all of this, I feel like so much of modern dating is essentially a process of elimination, where men are constantly encouraged to push and say yes, and women are constantly encouraged to shut them down for their own safety, and if they're lucky, they eventually reach a healthy dynamic by sheer process of elimination. Which... really isn't fun, and leaves a lot of room open for frustration.

Queer relationships and flirting provide a lot of open communication that hetero dynamics don't. I've had the most luck in "heterosexual" dynamics with queer or queer adjacent people, and literally everyone I've ever gotten past the initial stages of "talking" with has been at least a little bi, by their own admission. It's not that straight men aren't interested in me, or that straight women weren't interested in me before, its just that these are the people who will understand my existence as a queer woman the best and communicate with me the most openly.

I probably could say more, but that's a summary, I guess. I know its weird and stereotypical, but unfortunately, heterosexual dating is pretty much the most gendered possible environment you could be in. I feel like Jane Goodall in there sometimes, but hey. Ya gotta do what you gotta do.

[cum-a-calla]

erm… predatory/prey play with roman in the workplace……

everyone is gone, like the building is CLOSED closed. he tries to corner his assistant (because duh) and be like hey… what if you let me fuck you? and she just slips her heels off and just. books it.

it’s all in good fun, until it’s not. hopefully no one sees the security footage of him dragging her back into his office by her ankles.

and then he [redacted] her [redacted] until they [redacted]. goodbye 2024.

“I’m bored.”

“Try… I don’t know. Doing some of the paperwork we have to get through. We only have to be here until everything is looked over, signed, filed…” You sigh a long, frustrated sigh, leaning on the desk with your head in your hands. “Roman. You have to throw me a fuckin’ bone, here.” The hour runs so late that everyone else is gone on this floor, only the two of you left. You’re not tired, necessarily, just so utterly over all this paperwork.

Roman smirks at his place behind his desk, flicking his gaze to you from his computer screen. He lifts an eyebrow. “I could throw you a bone.”

A glare has him giggling to himself, that infuriatingly high little inward laugh he does when he’s feeling smug, or clever. It’s actually kind of attractive in an odd way… but so many things about Roman are. It pisses you off. He shouldn’t be allowed to be so smarmy and careless and just… look like that all the time. Roman’s eyes are on yours again and it becomes humiliatingly clear that you’ve just been staring at him, tracing the planes and lines of his handsome features. He turns a little, giving you his full attention now. Tracing his fingertip along some of the papers on his desk. Knowing you’ll watch.

“Oh… are you thinkin’ about it?” Roman licks the edge of his teeth, grinning. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you. I mean… nobody’s here, right?”

“Fuck off,” you say softly. A flush rises up your throat and you roll your eyes, ripping another sheet off the top of the stack to parse through it. “You wish.”

“No… no, I think you wish. I do.” Roman rises up from his chair and you’re forced to look up at him, hands freezing as you move to sign a report. “I think you give me those fuck-me eyes all the time. As if I don’t notice. Oh - don’t make that face. I notice, sweetheart. I know when I’m stuck inside somebody’s mind… stuck tight.”

You feel a strange sort of… something. Something that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, just the way Roman’s standing up right now. Looming over his desk. Moving to walk around the edge. Out of pure instinct, you stand as well, palms on the surface as you rise up. Roman’s eyes are glittering, pupils wide and only getting wider.

“Roman…-”

“We should,” he says. “Fuck, I mean. You should let me bend you over this desk. Or… I mean, you could get down on your knees. I could get down on mine, whatever - equal opportunity fucking, right? I’m told I give some serious lip.”

He advances slowly, smoothly, like an animal as you edge toward the door. He’s smiling, but it’s not actually a smile at all. A wolf licking its chops. Your pulse quickens, a surge of adrenaline making your fingers tremble a little. Roman refuses to back down, his voice drawing lower, quieter, trying to hypnotize you like a cat with his words.

“Bad move, sweetheart. I can run. Probably had no idea, but all I did in fucking military school was get screamed at and run. I will catch you.”

Your breath catches in your throat and it’s then that the slice of fear starts mingling with something else, stomach doing flips. A spreading warmth seems to fill the basin of your hips, all that smoldering heat matching the fever-spots of flush in your cheeks. You slip off your heels, grateful for the carpeting - wearing thin tights might not fare so well on a hard, slippery floor while being chased. And that’s what this is, isn’t it? He’s going to chase you. A tiny shiver zips up your spine.

“I’m gunna give you a head start, just to level the -”

Before he can finish, you’re taking off. His laughter trails behind you, and after turning a corner in the endless rows of cubicles, you drop to your hands and knees and crawl, moving another couple rows over like that, holding your breath. There’s a manic thrill bouncing around inside your body, making you shake as you scuttle underneath a desk, both hands pressed over your own mouth. Somewhere nearby, there are soft, light scuffing sounds as he walks. Barely there, hard to discern. If he’s taken his shoes off, you’re fucked.

After a few agonizing minutes of trying to figure out his location by sound, he walks by. The sight of his legs walking away from you almost makes you gasp - almost. God, you can feel your pulse behind your fucking eyeballs. You inch forward little by little on your hands and knees on the carpet. Roman’s still slowly walking the other way. You rise up to a stand for only a fleeting moment before you stumble over your own goddamn feet, making a little sound as you land roughly on your hands and knees again. There’s a moment frozen in time in which you turn your head sharply to face Roman, and he looks behind his shoulder and sees you. There’s a flash of surprise on his face before he’s smirking, turning fully around, and you only make it a couple of steps before his fingers are digging into the collar of your shirt, yanking you back so that you fall down again, this time on your ass.

Limbs are pinwheeling for purchase - you twist in his grasp and he’s on top of you, laughing, practically panting with excitement. In a moment of blind panic, you slap him in the face and he reels a little. In that moment you scramble up and start running again, and he’s on your fucking heels. His laughter titters just behind you and it makes you giggle in return, giddy with the chase, with the weird combination of fear and arousal and anxiety making you throb. You throb everywhere - your pulse finds a loud, pounding home in the tip of your nose, your chest… your cunt.

Wheeling around a corner too fast, you trip again. Roman’s absolutely beside himself, laughing at you as he leans down and grabs your ankles.

“Hey, you really gave it your all,” he commends, voice dripping with derision. He flashes you a grin, all teeth as he starts dragging you backwards. You try to kick and wiggle, but Roman’s stronger than he looks - he has you in a solid grip, clucking his tongue at you. “No, none of that - you had your chances. I win, and I’m going to cum in your little cunt about it. Okay? That was the deal.”

Your skirt rides up and so does your blouse, everything coming untucked and rucking up. The carpet burns as he drags you across it, and you hiss as you squirm to escape it. Roman watches with a hint of amusement, uninterested in your struggle or your discomfort. He drags you all the way across the floor back to his office, and when you try to clutch at the door frame, Roman is swift to toss your legs to the side and take a step closer to kick it away. He finishes hauling you fully into the office and shuts the door, turning to you with his eyes all hooded and dark, cheeks red with excitement. The both of you tremble, the both of you utterly consumed by a manic sort of adrenaline high.

“Well, it’s not being bent over a desk, but - but I kinda like this better. More intimate, yeah? I get to watch you cum all over my cock. Lucky me - and lucky you,” he purrs, pushing your thighs open. When you lift yourself up on your elbows, he yanks your arms down by the wrists. “Dont. Give it up, honey - the struggle is really nice, don’t get me wrong. Cuuute, just fuckin’ cute as shit. But I’m getting impatient.”

He releases you to reach between your thighs, where he pulls at the fabric of your tights with both hands and rips them open down the center.

“Gotta invest in something that doesn’t get sold from a fuckin’ Walmart, babydoll. That was so easy it was barely fun.”

“Fuck you,” you mumble.

“Oh, you will.” Roman takes a moment to pull your underwear to the side. He runs his fingers along your slit, tracing the edges and folds of your pussy as he spreads it open, looking at it, barely teasing your clit. “You know how wet you are? Dripping. How fucking sad is that? Are you - oh, am I pissing you off? Making you all upset? You look like you wanna hit me. You wanna hit me again?”

You glare at him, opening your lips to say something about it when he laughs, shoving his fingers inside of you without warning, curling them, pumping them with a precision that has your glare dissolving. Moans take away all the words you had. Roman looks positively triumphant - he fucks them a little harder, a little faster, relishing the way you make those stupid, breathy sounds, the look on your face indistinguishable from pain. It excites him to think of that, too - hurting you a little.

“God, if you’re this fuckin’ whiny for my fingers, you’re really gunna love what comes next,” he murmurs.

Then you do slap him - but it can barely be called a slap at all. The impulse comes, you run with it in the heat of the moment, and a second too late you pull the slap a little and it barely registers. He blinks a little in surprise, fingers paused in their rhythm. He fucks them into you even harder as his eyes bore into yours, that delicate, angry vein showing on his forehead. His free hands rests on your inner thigh, gripping the flesh there. Keeping you spread.

“Not great,” he deadpans. “Try it again. This time, do it like you give a fuck about doing something right for once.”

You can do that. You can do that very well, and the crack of your open palm against the same cheek stings your hand. The flush to his face is immediate, and his eyes look black as he yanks his fingers out of your body again and he slaps you back with the same hand. He smiles as he watches you wipe your own cum off your cheek, tears welling up in your lashes. He tilts his head and pouts a little, undoing his slacks and pushing them down his hips. His cock bounces free, and the sight of it catches you completely off guard. It’s not that you’d ever had an expectation, or a particularly specific thought as to his size, but he is surprisingly thick. Long. His smooth, rippled cockflesh laced with veins. He grins, stroking it once or twice, and fuck, it looks gorgeous in his fingers like that as he teases himself.

“Yeah, I mean… at least I didn’t slap you with this, right? You wouldn’t even be conscious for what I’m about to do to you. But, you know… maybe another time.”

“Roman, seriously - you’re gunna have to… you know, take it - take it easy, okay?”

Roman’s eyes get absolutely dreamy, shining in the dimmed light and hooded by his lovely, low eyelids, wet lips parted as he crawls up over you. He leans in and lowers down until he can brush his lips just barely against yours, more a tease than anything else. He tilts his head and licks a wet stripe from the edge of your jaw up to your cheekbone, planting a wet, sloppy kiss there.

“Don’t you worry about that.” He reaches between your bodies and runs the fat, leaking head of his cock along your slit, slowly, up and down, back again. Every couple passes, he pushes the tip deliciously against your hole, rocking there but only barely. There’s a crease between his focused brows when he lifts to watch your expression, moving to keep your gaze even when you get embarrassed. “Look at you, all fuckin’ wriggly and full of shame. You getting desperate, sweetheart? Yeah? Wanna ask me for it?”

“Roman…”

“Mhmm?” Roman nuzzles playfully into your neck and nips at your throat, once, twice, a third time - this time hard enough to make you whine in that adorable way, your hips twitching. He chooses this moment to work more of himself in - only maybe an inch, just a little further, where he rocks infuriatingly slow again as he sucks a deep, dark bruise into your skin. He can’t wait to see what you do with that tomorrow - how you’re going to cover it up. But he’ll know. He’ll know it’s there. “Hey - go ahead. Ask for what you want.”

“Can you.. uh,” you mumble, nerves crashing under the sheer overload of sensation, of throbbing need. God, the entire fucking thing - the fear, the chase, the force, Roman being an insatiable goddamn beast hellbent on destroying you; it’s enough to melt your brain. But if finding a few more words is all that stands between you and the rest, then… “Can you please give me… more?”

“More of my cock?” Roman starts edging more of himself inside, a smooth, slow rolling of his hips, undulating. Each little thrust brings him closer to home, and you’re gasping. He fastens his lips to a new spot on your neck, at the juncture of your shoulder. “Just trying to take it easy, right? Be patient - you’ll get it all, honey.”

Finally, he’s worked himself balls-deep. He rolls so softly, so very tenderly against your cervix, the tip of his thick cock kissing against it over and over in a maddeningly erotic tease. Is it still a tease if there’s no room left to fuck into? He pushes your thighs open and lifts himself up a little, looking down at you. His cheeks are as flushed as yours. You’ve never noticed just how many freckles he has over his cheeks and nose, how they dot him delicately like a surreal expanse of dark stars in a pink sky.

“Touch yourself. Make yourself cum, just like this.”

Zero hesitation - you push your hand down between your thighs, between your bodies, and expertly circle your clit with your fingers. The natural clench against the stretch of him feels otherworldly. The bright, electric sensation of stimulation on the soft cusp of your cervix adds an entirely new layer to it; it’s sharp, but pleasantly so. You sneak a peek between your bodies at the way he rolls his hips, down to where he only slightly moves in and out of you. He keeps you impossibly full. You let your head fall back down and catch his smug lips, the way he licks them.

“Fuck… I’m close,” you whine.

“I know… I know.” God, he almost sounds kind. If you weren’t looking directly at him, you’d believe it. “Do it for me. You’re this tight already… I wanna know what it feels like to have your perfect little pussy milk me dry. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to empty my fucking balls into you, you know that?”

“Oh - fucking…- shit-” Your entire body seems to seize up, and all that molten, coiled tension melts in a series of devastating waves, pulsating, rushing from behind your eyes all the way down to your toes as he continues to rock into you like that through the crash of your orgasm. His breathing gets erratic and he’s leaning down to lick at your throat. After you move your hand to cling to him, he starts to really fuck into you, rearing back just to slam his cock back inside. Suddenly you’re skating on the shockwave of a brand new explosion of pleasure as he sees fit to set a punishing new pace. The curve of his cock finally tends to all those barely-touched nerves in his full, brutal strokes, balls audibly slapping against your body.

“Yeah - keep fucking cumming. It’s okay, I know - it’s a lot to take. You’re doing so good - look at you. Like you were made to take my cock, huh, baby? I’m gunna fill you up, okay? You ready?” His voice is drawn high, soothing, making your head spin as you try to fit the tone of his voice with the sly, mean smirk on his lips. He reaches a hand up and presses his fingers against your lips, sliding two of them over your tongue. “Good girl - good fucking girl.”

The feeling of your lips and tongue on his fingers, the sounds you make, the way you keep clenching around him - it’s the perfect storm. His hips falter at the same time his moans do, and his cock is pulsing inside of you. He pushes deep, fingers matching as they wander toward the back of your throat until you whine, gagging, grabbing at his wrist to stop him. Your teeth scrape his knuckles and he shudders as he moans, rutting his hips in time with each thick spurt of his cum. There’s a wonderful sort of haze where both of your bodies are coming down, muscles relaxing. The beginning of the afterglow. Roman removes his fingers as his body stills, dick softening inside of you. He sticks those fingers into his own mouth without even thinking about it, tasting you, your saliva. Finally he separates from your body and pats the inside of your thigh, giving it a strangely affectionate squeeze. It feels more intimate than everything else you’ve done, in some weird way: the way he didn’t look at you when sucking your saliva off his fingers, the tenderness of the squeeze. Those things go quietly inside of you, somewhere else to peruse later. Things Roman wouldn’t really want you to have; accidental gifts.

“That was…” you trail off, exhaling hard to convey your feelings. You laugh a little bit, a bit of tension releasing as you do. “Jesus Christ.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do all that… you can just call me Roman Roy,” he cracks, smiling wryly. He sighs and pulls himself together, running a hand through his mussed hair before it falls right back into his eyes. “I know, I know. Big ol’ fuckin’ hog, devilishly handsome, and hilarious? I’m the entire goddamn package.”

“Don’t forget filthy rich.”

Roman shakes his head and bows slightly to you, hand outstretched as if giving you the floor. “And filthy rich. If I could just fuck and marry myself, I would. Now, uh… is your back okay? Got a little… scraped up, yeah? You need some, like, Neosporin or some shit?”

“Yeah, in fact - could you also bring me some Mickey Mouse bandaids, maybe a lollipop? Some stickers? I’m fine, Roman… thanks, though.”

“Show you a fuckin’ lollipop,” Roman mutters, running his hands over his face. He snaps his fingers, fidgety, gesturing toward the door. “Come on, let’s get the fuck outta here. Fuck the papers. I’ll make somebody else finish it tomorrow. I don’t care. Romey tired.”

Roman places a chaste hand at the base of your spine, guiding you through the doors to end the evening. There’s a comfortable silence as you separate, Roman heading for his car while you go off to your own apartment in the opposite direction. Closer to arriving home, your phone dings. Roman’s name shows up and you ignore the tiny wisp of a thrill in your gut at seeing his name there inside your phone, not having reached out first.

Overtime required tomorrow. My shopper will have new tights for you - you’re welcome. Make it worth it. -R

[imistyou2]

Nipple piercings. c.sb

pairing: sub!Soobin x Noona!reader

warnings: nsfw under the cut. boobie worshipping. unrealistic piercing healing time I know yall but #forthesakeoftheplot um ya that's about it soobin juss luvvvs yo titties hahaha. Gyu cameo as alwaysss

summary: Soobin is sweet and simple as vanilla and you're like a bottle of hot sauce! To spice up your sex life, his dear dear Noonim surprises him with nipple piercings.

This is part 2.2, you can read it as a stand-alone too

series masterlist

-

Soobin's never been much of an experimental man. He likes to keep things simple and follow a routine. He's been contempt of that too, he likes to think. It is rather easy to figure out that the younger man likes to stay in his little bubble of soobin-ism.

Eat, play games, and talk to friends, now a new addition is hanging out with his noona dearest and then sleeping. Simple, clean, and neat.

This pattern is reflected in many aspects of his life, including his sex life. In the many months you have been involved with Soobin, you've taken note of his quirks. How his body trembles when he's about to climax, what overstimulates him enough to cry, that he has an oral fixation (with your tit's specifically) and so on and so forth.

It always brings in great pleasure to 'make love' (a replacement for using "fuck" since he apparently doesn't like using that) with him but who are you if not trying to rile up the pliant man till he weeps at your mercy?

So, you've been devising, and planning! You even startled yourself with how much effort you were secretly putting into getting to know about Soobin's kinks and preferences. Yes, the sex was exceptionally good but it was very much vanilla ice cream! A classic for sure but could be spruced up. Stumbling on his Twitter by accident was what you considered to be a sign from God himself that you need to do something to take it to the next level.

It was no surprise Choi Soobin is a boob man, he might as well have a huge poster hung up on his walls saying "I LOVE TIDDIES" or something. This man did NOT play about boobs. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday- call him jungkook the way he was gonna be loving that thang seven days a week. He was serious about worshipping your breasts like they were sent by a messiah to unlock spiritual awakening.

And so it happened, for the past 3 weeks you have been avoiding getting down and dirty with him. Instead, the time was passed with Cafe dates and late-night movie marathons. The lack of dick was slowly getting to you but you persevered none the less. Some quote about the fruits of your labor or something but instead it was his reaction.

Soobin returned back to his dorm after a long day, not even flinching when he see's you laying on his bed reading one his mangas.

"Hey Soobs, how was class?"

"Ugh, don't get me started, Noona. My TA is the biggest B-word ever! This internship is not easy."

"She's a bitch?"

"Yeah, thats what I said."

"No, you said b-word!"

"You know I don't like to cuss at women like that...", you giggle as you get up from the bed, swinging your arms around his neck to pull him in. "Okay Mr. Nice Guy, what can I do to make you feel better?"

"Maybe watch Jujutsu Kai-"

"I have a better idea. How about we have some fun...?" You say, spreading your legs ever so slightly to reveal your exposed thigh.

His eyes widen tenfold, head darted up with excitement, "Really! I'm thinking we play League of Lege-"

You roll your eyes, pushing him off of you, he lands softly to your side on the bed. "No- baby, fun!"

He looks blankly at you, not a single thought rummaging his mind. "You wanna get food or something, Noona..?"

Losing patience, you grab his hand folding the sleeves up to his elbow. You bite your lips with a smirk, he looked the best in white shirts for sure. You take his hand and guide it under your shirt, fingers ghosting over your bralette. Something small pokes through but Soobin doesn't say much. His attention was stolen away the moment you took his hand. "I wanna do this kind of fun. Soobie...don't you wanna make you noona have fun? Hm?"

He gulps, Adam's apple bobbing deliciously, nodding.

"Take my bra off, will you?"

"Yes, Noona!"

He struggles a little with the hook of your bra, you honestly don't blame him since you're without a bra around 90% of the time with him. He noted that today was one of the rare days you wore a bra. Once the bra finally came off, the cold air conditioning of his room hit your breasts, perking them up even more.

Suddenly, Soobin jerks back with a muffled gasp. A finger raising slowly, one hand cupped in shock, he points at the two barbell rods that are sliding through your nipples. On the two sides are heart-shaped gems. Soobin peers closer, almost in a cautionary way, and as his eyes narrow in on the gems, he can make out a distinct S letter in each of them. He blinks twice.

Your heart speeds up in anticipation, his facial expression unrecognizable. "S-surprise...?"

"Y-you got them pierced?"

"Yeah... Do you not like it? I thought you liked pierc-" Your expression drops.

"Mmmph-" he kisses you deeply, a soulful exchange. His fingers dig into the sides of your waist, rubbing circles. "I love it-I love it- Noona, how did you even know?"

You chuckle, relieved. "Hm..just have my ways!"

He raises his brow. "Okay fine, I asked Beomgyu for your twitter and basically did a little stalking from there."

His lips curl into an adorable smile as he pecks your lips again.

"C-can I.. Y'know... touch?"

"You can do alot more just touch, Soobie."

"Really? Do they hurt? I don't wanna hurt you, Noona."

"Aw, my baby. Always worrying for me. They're almost healed. You can have it, just be gentle." your fingers twirl around your nipples a little, hissing slightly.

"No, Noona that looks like it hurts..."

"I like the pain hehe." He has a scandalous look on his face before finally giving a kitten lick to your hardened nipples. He looks intensely at the gems. "What does the S stand for?"

Your eyes look away, face turning slightly red. "What the fuck do you think it means?" you yell out, a lot more aggressive than you had intended.

"I-I I didn't wanna assume.."

"Sorry, yeah no, um, wanted to surprise you Soobin. Do you like your initial on me?"

Soobin will melt. Fuck, he wants to turn into putty. He has more important things to focus on right now, your tits to be specific. "Noona...they're beautiful." His fingers pinch on a nipple very softly, you whimper as the bundle of nerves get played with again and again. The piercing has started to heal pretty soon but it still felt a little raw and fresh.

Soobin's pink tongue flashed as he licked meticulously all around your breasts, from the sides to the piercing. The cool metal hit his tongue and he will not deny that it was weirdly satisfying especially when contrasted with your warm body.

He is still yet to suck on your nipples, you can tell he's nervous to do so since the piercing is still so new. The sting of pain is there but it transforms into pleasure when you see it's Soobin who is doing all these things to you.

You never really thought you'd get turned on by pain but I guess you live and learn, Soobin definitely is.

The very obvious tent in his pants was an indicator of how much he really liked these piercings. "Fuck, so good yeah, good job baby, making noona feel so good. You like making me feel good?"

He looks up from in between your breasts and nods before continuing. He could spend hours on end here if you let him.

"Noona I could be here the whole day just making you feel good. I love you...r tits noona!" Your eyes roll back in pleasure and pain, whimpers coming out.

He slowly backed up, a thin layer of sweat covering his face, eyes admiring your breasts once more. You look down and gasp at what you see. Red and blue bruises everywhere, littered throughout the expanse of your chest. "Soobin! I told you to go easy on that"

He smiles sheepishly, scratching his neck in feigning innocence. "You know I can't stop myself with you Noona.." he nudges you playfully.

Oh he wants to play dirty, you'll show him dirty.

"You're on Choi Soobin. I'll make sure you leave this room crying." you claw at his sweatpants.

"AH!"

Outside, in the living room, Beomgyu sits with a stoic face, dark circles, and some noise-canceling headphones which don't seem to really cancel much noise at all, wishing that you guys gave him a heads up so that he didn't have to spend his whole afternoon listening to you two canoodle and do the dirty.

"fuck my life."

-

a/n: uneditied

hiiiiiii my pookies

a lil surpise chapter cuz ive been feeling extra good lately and my school work is going well. that being said, part 3 will be out in feb so stay tuned ill tag the people who wanted to be in the taglist from part 3 as well.

stay sexyyyy

[velvetvexations]

it's been pissing me offfffff lately the way that so many people in the tumblr trans sphere have suddenly gotten caught up in this idea that saying it's valid to be trans and not transition- a thing that has LITERALLY ALWAYS been about 'social only'/ 'non medical' transition- is transphobic and meant to discourage people from medical transition. it's always premised as though the only reason someone wouldn't pursue hrt/ surgery/ various other gender affirming care is if they're scared or they medically can't, and the idea that someone would want to be acknowledged for their gender without 'putting in the work' is impossible (largely because these folks fucking hate nonbinary/ gnc people and always have!)

it's making me realize that the problem with queer discourse is that most people involved with it are pathologically unable to decenter themselves from the conversation, and if you say something that doesn't apply to them they get really really scared. it's the exact same shit as people saying that split attraction model is inherently homophobic when like, no, it just doesn't matter for YOU. if someone uses split attraction model or 'it's valid to never transition' to justify staying in the closet that's not the fault of this self-actualization tool that helps other people. there is no one-size-fits-all approach to our fucking human lives!

It very much pisses me off lol. The "it's okay to be trans without transitioning" thing from Christofascists simply does not exist to the level it gets discoursed about and thrown at people who just literally mean that trans people who don't do XYZ are still valid.

[kickingitwithkirk]

Winchester's Folly

Summary: When Dean gets into trouble John decides to hide the truth for his family

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader x Alpha!Sam

WC: 1126

Dark! Fic-don't continue if you are disturbed by the subject matter.

Warnings: A/B/O, dystopian au, canon elements, non/con, dub/con, incest, subjugation, pandemic, mentions of nudity, physical/mental abuse, mention of collaring/leashing, sexual/slavery, rut/heat, physical altercation, death/murder conviction, show level violence, parental dominance, trafficking, branding, panic attacks, bondage, forced mating, dated derogatory terms, medical treatment

*Additional warnings will be added

Square filled: @spnabobingo Slutty Omega

A/N I: Still working on reigning myself in, keeping each part reader-friendly length, and have no clue how many parts this will end up being.

A/N II: a few notes about designations in A/O sub-genders for this story.

Alphas-Dominant (head of the pack/family) Subordinate (obey Dominant) Breeders (rare & highly coveted by the government. Can challenge Dominant for pack/family leadership)

Omegas -Domestic (mostly wiped out by plague, few natural born left) Feral (government-supplied breeders sold commonly called O's) House O’s (3rd generation+ Feral/Dominant breed. Used as servants/sex workers) Pack (rare & highly coveted by the government)

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

*No Beta-all mistakes are mine

**Apologies for taking so long getting this part out-had an accident at work and will have limited used of right hand for a bit.

Series Masterlist

Part XI

Dr. Stevenson slid surgical scissors under the ties, quickly sniping, explaining the original posture collars were redesigned for auto-erotic asphyxiation. It fades out as Dean feels like he's having needles pulling out from under the skin of his neck when she drops. "I was expecting that. Let's get the O back on the table."

The doctor continues talking as they slowly remove it, "And this is why they're outlawed," stepping back allows Dean to see the deep purple bruises with black depressions stripping the unconscious O's neck.

****

The doctor gently scrubbed her neck with a fine-pore sponge and commented, "You felt it, didn't you? " The question took Dean off guard and touched his neck, "How'd you?"

"I noticed the claim mark while I was removing the collar. Finding an O you're biologically compatible with isn't easy these days, and even more so for the owner to claim them if they are." Dean doesn't respond. "'Course, it's none of my business. I'm seeing a lot of soft tissue abrasion but no skin necropsy. That's good. Bruise cream will speed up healing." The doctor shined a light into her mouth. "Has she attempted to speak?" Dean admitted he had not heard anything outside coughing.

"I am concerned about this inflammation in her throat." They pick up a swab. "I'm going to have some labs run. Make sure it isn't from an STI since O clinics are only obligated to run standard STD testing for appearances." Slipping the swap into a sterile tube notices the Alpha's confusion.

"Several years into Hibbing, there was unrest brewing about selling people, so the government mandated all O's must have their hymens intact before the first purchase and made propaganda reels still shown in schools to program the populous in believing they're not mistreated." The doctor moves to a cupboard, pulling out a sterile pack.

"Truth is, these O's are versed in various sexual acts by the time they're teens. Going by the physical, I'd say she's been repeatedly throat fucked with that collar on; undoubtedly, it's also done some damage to her vocal cords. But if you're willing, you can do things to help." They gauge Dean before continuing.

"Give her nothing too hot or cold, only room temperature. Tea with honey, soft foods only need to swallow, nothing chewy, and protein supplement specifically for O's. If lucky, she'll recover enough to be understandable but be prepared for the worst, that she'll never speak again." They began preparing a site near the original implant. "I'd normally like to wait on the suppressant; it'll slow down healing. But with her current physical condition, going into heat would be detrimental."

They continued talking, oblivious Dean's vibrating with anger in muscle memory: unable to stop the strangers hovering over his Omega because being tased several times had temporarily left his legs unusable; furiousgrowls bounced around the room when he smelled her blood. Needing a distraction before his instincts swallow him, Dean turns his attention elsewhere and eyes the collar.

Running his fingers over it, he feels the visual bumps and discovers slim, horizontal boning embedded in the leather and hears the doctor comment, "They're constriction rings, function similar to cock rings without the pleasurable effects."

Dean's habitual guilty-as-hell caught in his throat. He failed again to see what was right before him. He shouldn't have kept blindly believing his dad's continued quoting of that damn pamphlet, that him treating it like any other person confused its lower intelligence.

Sam's snide comment that only dick Alphas believed in that antiquated bullshit led to the latest round of Dean physically getting between them before punches got thrown. His wonders what level of dick his brother now considers him is interrupted by the phone's ringtone.

"Hey Bobby, no, still at the clinic. What? Sam's registering shouldn't be an issue; his paperwork is all there." Dean listened to the Betas ranting. "Alright, I'll head over there and deal with it." Then came a list of errands the Beta needed him to run made Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Just what he needed; more things slapped on his overflowing plate when he felt the O coming around, ending the call to focus on her. "Hi, sweetheart. Have a good nap?"

She turned towards his voice, spotting the IV pole, and glanced down at the tubing protruding from her wrist. She peered at him and blinked three times, the signal for question. "You have something going on in your throat and need some antibiotics and fluids. Listen, I gotta run out for a while and deal with something at Sam's school. Will you be okay?"

That's when it smacked Dean; something had shifted between them. If he allows himself to be honest with himself, it scares him. Refocusing on the O, he's unnerved by her concerned expression, too similar to Sam's, and feels relief when she blinks once for yes since he's unsure how to react to her becoming more in tune with his internal feelings.

Grabbing the three-quarter-drank bottle of rotgut, Bobby doesn't bother with the glass; he feels it burn his throat as he polishes it off. Banging the bottle down, he stares at the wording on the paperwork and understands why John was so cagey about his questioning about Frank. The sonuvabitch knowingly mated his children; that practice hasn't been done since before the Omega plague. And knowing the temperament of the man, it wasn't to get Dean out of dire straits because he is John’s son, but for the older Alphas' continued vendetta.

The Beta's mind whirled with questions, but one kept popping to the forefront- who or what made her appear out of nowhere, and why now?

The longer he broods, the more he's convinced it has links to Mary Winchester. Picking up the cordless phone, he dials a familiar number. "Hey Bobby," a female voice warmly says. "Guess you're not calling to find out who to bet on in Sunday's playoffs."

"We both know the Vikings are going to the Superbowl," there's an amused laugh on the line, "Keep telling yourself that. So what can I help you with?"

"I'm not sure where to start with this one," Bobby admits and hears cards shuffling through the receiver. "It'd be best to go back to the beginning. And keep the drinks down to a minimum." He glances at the new bottle he had sat on the desk just before calling, "How'd you...?"

"I'm the best damn psychic in the state," Pamela reminds him, "So start talking, or I will reverse the charges for this call." Bobby makes a vexed noise at his fellow Betas' cheekiness.

"In 1986, I met a man with two small boys looking for answers."

Part XII

SPN TAGS: @donnaintx @lyarr24 @flamencodiva @lassie-bird @nancymcl @spnbaby-67 @leigh70 @b3autyfuld1sast3r

Sam/Jared: @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @thoughts-and-funnies @stoneyggirl2 @beabutterfly987 @smoothdogsgirl

WF: @slamminmine @ladysparkles78 @deans-spinster-witch @ilovetaquitosmmmm @strawblueberrys @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @kazsrm67 @elmolovesw33d

[witchofthesouls]

There are many iterations of MegOp I can believe in... but not TFP.

Feels homoerotic or queer? Sure. A lot of tension? Definitely. A yearning or upon the cusp of something? I'm fucking dying right on that edge.

But TFP Megatron and Orion Pax couldn't even understand each other's histories and motivations, let alone have a hard conversation on their own philosophies, back up plans, and direction for society besides the pretty stuff. Y'all really think they fucked? Even if it's angled as 'hate sex' or casual, they fucking misread each other all the damn time, even if they vibed on the same level, which is so painful to watch. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them tried to subtly hit on the other in their own caste-derived/in-group's specific doublespeak... just for the other guy, who's an outsider, to understandingly not pick it up, but all their associated caste buddies did.

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that's why Ratchet and Soundwave have several tons worth of beef with each other's respective friend/war leader. Besides destroying life and civilization as they knew it.

The thing is to remember, Megatron is very much a social butterfly in a way. He genuinely likes people. He likes interaction. He has the flair and disposition for it. His inherent sense for the dramatics just enhances it. But the most important thing, Megatron was literally reared within the structure of the city-states. He intimately knows the social equations for his caste, has a lot of support in terms of emotional via friends, allies, and mecha with similar grievances, and is deft enough to wade through the avenues that are available to him and he takes them with both fists (gladiatorial clades into the political arena). Violence (and emotions) is a language that's easily available to him.

Orion Pax, on the other hand, is more careful. He has to be. This guy literally came from the boonies of Nowhere and got snatched up by a really powerful figure within Iacon inside the very heart of its machinations. People were beyond rage at that treatment. Orion isn't stupid but he's playing really dangerous games with colleagues that despise his very presence and multiple frameworks that literally eat people alive to keep a very brutal status quo. Then accounting Alpha Trion's own status as an Ancient Prime with the very relic with the power to foretell future events across the multiverse... it doesn't paint a kind picture on reasons why the hidden Prime plucked up Orion. The repression and stonewall tactics that Orion, and later Optimus, use really make sense with this in mind. The Iacon Archives are a keystone of the higher castes. Orion had to moderate his entire self around those people that would absolutely snitch if they caught a whiff of 'insubordination' or 'illegal' activities' or 'strangely sympathetic to those undeserving' along with the weird little side quests with Alpha Trion. Orion had to learn really fast how to bend before breaking, especially if he can only rely on himself in a perilous environment.

All I'm saying that these two spoke Neocybex, but absolutely missed all the cultural context of each other's backgrounds that would have easily explained the 'whys, whats, wheres, whens, and hows' of their decisions and behaviors. They legitimately did see something really amazing in each other, but never actually dug deeper thinking that the other mech would immediately understand their motivations and that's what so fucking infuriatingly tragic on why they felt so betrayed by one another.

[pokemon-ash-aus]

So assuming (hopefully) we get the good ending and the SM crew lives, do u think they will train to get stronger so if something like this ever happens again, they won't be so helpless?

I mean, I doubt something like this would happen again but you know, better be safe than sorry.

I think this will inconceivably break them. Cause you have to realize one thing.

Ash was strong enough to beat up Alpha, but something was in the way, something had leveled him out on an even playing field.

And even with that drain, Ash scared the crap outta Alpha

Alpha used so many stops to get at Ash, having to Rely on Confusion and Accuracy Drops to feel like he could win and it was only until Confusion hit that he felt confident enough to fight back.

Ash lost this because he was drained, he lost this because he got confused.

Because he let the love of his sons cloud his mind.

Meanwhile, Peach and Indigo couldn't get that same fear, they weren't able to make Alpha fear for himself, he didn't need to be afraid anymore.

They were both being toyed with up until the last moment. This was all just so he could get rid of 2 lil things and have a been of fun with it.

Peach and Indigo have to come with the horrifying terms that they let Ash do everything. Let him protect them, let him deal with the worst. And the moment he fell, he was woefully unprepared.

Peach was already aware that she was weaker, the battle with the other Shadow Mews said a lot. But she never used her trap card.

And even with a Mega on her side, she passed out first.

Indigo... Indigo is gonna be even worse. He's the older brother and couldn't save his siblings.

He couldn't protect them.

How fucked is that?

[redwinedulac]

some jonny “fans” on twitter are so fucking weird like first you set him up to get his looks attacked by antis with viral tweets saying his makeup and hair was shite as fiyero and how the hair & makeup team who worked HARD deserve to lose at the oscars bcos of it and now you’re saying he doesn’t deserve his SUPPORTING ACTOR NOM bcos he was only in it for 10 mins??? (hello wtf do you think supporting means?????)

you’re also ignoring the fact dtl was literally dangerous as hell and couldve chopped his head off like am i in a black mirror episode?? wtf is going on? how can you not recognize how big it is that an open gay actor is receiving recognition from his peers on this level?

i understand we shouldn’t be served scraps as queer people but this industry is reliant on reputation and jonny is building a rep so good not even the gatekeepers can ignore him. him being snubbed last year for ft has nothing to do with this bcos ofc he was snubbed. ft was a love letter to the queer community the straights weren’t going to care about it and he didn’t go into it wanting awards he was just so happy it existed and so fucking grateful he was even nominated at all and fucking WON the cca like please get perspective. so many of you move with ungratefulness when you shouldn’t be sweating the small things but manifesting for better. if he wins the sag that means he has a good chance for an oscar nom which is HUGE considering how “new” he is to hollywood.

[klaasje]

i am trying to play this

but the process of installing it. mein gott

commodore emulation on a handheld is possible but i can't find a comprehensive tutorial for my situation (anbernic 40 running muOS). i am engaged in mortal fucking combat with retroarch which keeps saying FEED ME KICKSTART ROMS BOY. kickstarts from what i can tell are little bonus files that tell the emulator how to process big deal software. so i was like Fine. you can have those. but the muOS file structure is uniquely odd (especially compared to windows) and the folder where the kickstarts should live does not exist. i think the solution here is to fiddle around with another OS or use an emulator that doesn’t rely on retroarch

ONTO OTHER PROBLEMS! mind walker is only available in .adf. the reddit jury’s general consensus seems to be that .adf is the most annoying commodore rom format due to the load times (long) and emulator compatibility (variable). i have no idea if some brave angel with a neocities site has created an adf -> hdf converter. worst case scenario if the adf rom doesn't work would involve nixing the handheld plan entirely and pivoting to windows emu (more documentation and much easier to troubleshoot). there is a way to screenshare from PC but it wouldn't feel true to the vision. i am desperate to make this work on handheld if at all possible. dunno why. the idea of a portable geometric mad scientist game is just supremely appealing to me on so many levels. if i manage to get this thang up and running i will be so happy. ONWARDS!

[rawmeknockout]

brainstorm and perceptor finally allowing pining! Reader into their polycule, as a treat..

Perceptor likes you too much to leave you dangling. He’s not like his conjunx: happy to lead you on for the sake of his own ego, only occasionally sparing a thought for how you might feel long term. Brainstorm is many things: a genius inventor, dedicated to a fault, persistent in the face of the impossible. Sensitive is not one of his many qualities. As the only level-headed one in the relationship, he tries to steer Brainstorm by his loose ethics away from seeing you as something to experiment with. There are guidelines in relationships, as in science, for a reason.

You’re cute and kind, a bright spot among the crew, and while he may be somewhat emotionally repressed, Perceptor can see your affections miles away without a scope. You’re clearly yearning fiercely for the both of them, and while Perceptor is flattered he has a hard enough time maintaining a relationship with someone as volatile as Brainstorm. He’s well-aware he would have a hard time juggling two partners, two people to keep pleased. Primus forbid Brainstorm start to think Perceptor favors you over him. Something catastrophic could happen.

He doesn’t appreciate how Brainstorm dangles love and affection in front of your face like a treat to be earned. For such a loving and attentive conjunx, he is unexpectedly cruel to your spark. Perhaps it’s his want of endless adoration that makes him so callous, and while Perceptor can’t rationalize it, he does understand to an extent. You are so openly and obviously in love, it is flattering in a way Perceptor isn’t used to. He supposes Brainstorm isn’t used to it, either. There’s copious mechs who will praise their inventions and their quick thinking, not so many turn their attention to the scientists themselves other than to marvel over how intelligent a processor they must each possess. It’s nice to think that he is seen and still wanted.

That doesn’t excuse Brainstorm’s unkindness disguised as reciprocation.

Perceptor doesn’t want to use you or hurt you. If circumstances were different, perhaps you two could be good friends. It must be this buried softness for you that allows Brainstorm to talk his partner into inviting you into their berth “just this once”, but Perceptor knows it would have happened anyway. Brainstorm is just that persistent and stubbornly dedicated to his own machinations. Willing to pester Perceptor for eternity if it meant he got what he wanted.

You look heavenly down between his thighs, your lips moulded to his node as your digits thrust into his valve slit at a feverish pace. If he wasn’t close from how you suckle and lick at his node, or the near frenzied pace at which you fill him, he would be from the lovestruck look in your optics. You’re positively darling, intently watching his mouth gape around his moans. He’s much more focused on the look your giving him, soft and loving, as opposed to how enthusiastically Brainstorm fucks into you from behind.

And already Perceptor is loath to think that “just this once” was Brainstorm’s biggest lie to date. How could he give this up? You’re eager to please and filled with so much naked adoration, unafraid to let Perceptor see you for how you really feel. His hips buck and writhe uninhibited against your digits, trying to suck them in each time you pull them away. He wants to beg for your spike already, or your glossa to curl and fuck into his valve, but he can’t get the words passed the moaning in his vocalizer. You don’t try to tame his wriggling, squirming body, happy to follow him whichever way he pleased. A small bit of him is worried he’ll knock your nasal ridge back into your helm if he’s too rough, but his servos hurriedly clutch your helm to keep your mouth pressed to his node. He can’t even get a warning out before his overload shakes through his frame, back arching and body fighting to move away and then towards you. Pulled by the pleasure just as it’s repelled by the intensity of it.

As if reading his very processor you don’t stop or pull away, only slowing the thrusting of your fingers to a gentle pace, happy to help him chase as many overloads as he would let you wring from him. Something warm, that has nothing to do with the tickling bubble of pleasure in his system, settles comfortably in Percy’s spark. A feeling he hasn’t always been so familiar with.

Perceptor’s attention is pulled, just briefly, to Brainstorm wearing the smuggest grin his conjunx has ever seen. Indignantly, Percy stores the revelation of Brainstorm’s actual plan for later. When he can give his partner a thorough tongue-lashing in private.